Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/828326.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Relationship:
      Castiel/Sam_Winchester, Lucifer/Sam_Winchester, Michael/Dean_Winchester,
      Balthazar/Lucifer/Gabriel, Azazel/John_Winchester, Crowley/John
      Winchester
  Additional Tags:
      Dubious_Morality, Dubious_Ethics, Age_Difference, Age_manipulation, Rape/
      Non-con_References, Past_Abuse, Size_Difference, Knotting, Alpha/Beta/
      Omega_Dynamics, Polyamory, Top_Sam, Sweet_Lucifer, Unrequited_Love,
      Obsession, POV_First_Person, Alternate_Universe_-_Human
  Collections:
      Dirty+Bad+Wrong+Hot_Supernatural
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-06-03 Words: 8182
****** True Mate ******
by lostinmymindforever
Summary
     Sam and Lucifer seemed to have the perfect relationship. They were
     mated, had a successful Pediatrics practice, everything seemed
     perfect. That is until Sam met his true mate, Castiel.
Notes
     I couldn't have written this without the help and support of Kris
     (CrankyWhenProvoked)
     Also: For Michael think Matt Cohen
I remember the first time I saw him. It was a warm spring morning and we’d been
walking our dogs through the park when I heard him laughing. I looked over to
see the prettiest little boy I can ever remember seeing in my life. He was
smiling, chasing another dog, as if he had no cares in the world. I remember
staring at the boy, wishing I could get closer, but my dogs were yanking on
their leashes, demanding to keep going and my mate was at my side.
He didn’t say anything about my distracted state. Not that day or any day
after. Not until about a month later when I saw the boy once more. It was an
ordinary day, the two of us at work at our practice. Lucifer had just finished
a check up with one of our patients and sent me to go and get our next
appointment. I think Luci secretly enjoyed bossing me around at work, because
this was the only place that happened.
I walked out into the lobby, knowing it was a new patient, and called out the
child’s name, Castiel. My heart skipped a beat as a little, dark haired boy
stood up from his seat, holding his mother’s hand as they walked towards me. I
led them into the examination room and began my usual prep work.
Before you think too bad of me, I am no pedophile, really I’m not. I don’t work
in a pediatrician’s office just to spend time with and touch and abuse
children. In fact the whole idea disgusted me. But Castiel wasn’t like the
others, a fact I had known since the moment I had laid eyes on him a month
prior. He was my MATE, my true mate, not like my mateship with Lucifer, done
more out of convenience than true want, love, or need.
Lucifer was a dear friend, and had been for years, but as an unmated Beta he
was limited. Had we not entered into our mateship Lucifer wouldn’t have been
able to hold onto his medical license, wouldn’t have been able to follow his
true calling as a doctor and help sick kids. In many ways the laws concerning
Betas were so far out of date that it was sickening, but it as it stood they
were still the law.
Alphas like myself had things easy, so easy in comparison to Betas. And lord
help the poor Omegas. Most parents prayed that their offspring wouldn’t become
Omega as their chances of ever having a life of their own were almost non-
existent. I had seen the heartbreak on the faces of parents when we had to tell
them the news that their little boy was an Omega, the way they seemed to lose
hope.
But then there were the other type of parents, the ones who when given the news
that their little boy was an Omega almost seemed glad. Usually those parents
were poor, and having an Omega child meant that there would be no question of
putting said boy into one of the Omega shelters where the child would be able
to actually have food and clothes. But those boys tended to be paired off with
the first interested Alpha as soon as their first heat came, forced into a life
where they were used for their bodies, usually ending up pregnant before their
14th birthdays.
I felt sorry for those Omegas more than any other. And yet here I am. But
that’s jumping ahead, isn’t it? Let me get back to my story. Where was I? Oh
yes, the first time I learned his name. Castiel, my dear, sweet, innocent,
lovely Castiel. Castiel who I ended up corrupting. Castiel who I did what I had
to to make him mine.
I wish I could feel worse than I do for Lucifer. Because of what happened
things between the two of us soon fizzled out and I basically left him hanging.
But I can’t help that, Lucifer was my mate in word only, but Castiel... Cas was
THE ONE, the one made just for me, my perfect match, the two of us born to be
together.
I watched Castiel closely, not trying to draw too much attention to myself, to
the way I was staring. His mother didn’t see the look on my face. No, that
would have been Lucifer. Lucifer who gave me this hurt little look before
schooling his features to his normal professional face he used with patients.
Needless to say, Lucifer didn’t speak to me for the rest of the day, outside of
what was required by our jobs. No witty banter between patients, no little
conversation on small breaks. Nothing. Not until we got home and he grabbed me,
practically slamming me into the wall before hissing out between clenched
teeth, “What the fuck is wrong with you, Winchester?”
God that hurt, hearing the anger and disgust in his voice, knowing it was fully
directed at me. “Lucifer... Let me explain.”
“Explain what? That you’re some sort of sick pervert? God I saw how you were
looking at that kid, Sam. Be glad his mother didn’t or the cops would have been
called.”
“It’s not like that,” I whispered, head down. Lucifer couldn’t understand, he
was a Beta. He didn’t understand how it was between Alpha and Omega mates, how
they’d just KNOW.
“Oh? And what the fuck is it like? Huh? Because from where I was standing you
were eyeing that kid up like a piece of meat. Like you wanted to bend him over
the examination table and fuck him right there.”
“Dammit, Luci. It. Is. Not. Like. That. He’s my fucking mate, you dumb Beta
asshole. And I’m sorry if I reacted to him, but I cannot help the fact that
he’s supposed to be mine,” the words were screamed, and I could see the hurt on
Lucifer’s face. I don’t think I had ever raised my voice to him before that
point.
He seemed to fall in on himself, wrapping his arms around him chest as he
looked at me with hurt eyes. “What? No. Sam, he can’t be your mate. I’m your
mate.”
It almost broke my heart to see tears starting to fall down Lucifer’s face.
I followed him as he ran from our living room, only stopping when he slammed
the guest room door in my face. I knew he was hurting, that I should just leave
him be, but part of me wanted to follow him, even though I knew he didn’t wanna
see me right now. I sighed, shoving my hands in my pockets, needing to get out
of there, to get away from the house for just a little while.
I called through the door, telling Lucifer that I was going out, that I was
going to my brother’s bar to talk with him. He didn’t answer me right away, and
I was just about to walk to our room to get changed when I heard him speak,
“Try not to get too drunk, Sam.” I nodded, even though I knew he couldn’t see
me, quickly changing my shirt into something a little nicer. It was dumb, I
wasn’t trying to impress anyone there, but I felt bad dressing like a bum when
I went to Dean’s bar, even if he could care less about my clothes.
When I walked into the bar I noticed there were hardly anyone there, but it was
early enough. All too soon the place would be packed and I wouldn’t get a
chance to talk to Dean. I nodded at Balthazar who was working behind the bar,
noticing he kept looking at the door I had come in, as if Lucifer would be
following me shortly. I knew Balthy was a little sweet on Luci, it was cute. I
ordered my drink, letting Balthazar know that Lucifer was at home, and he
looked sad at that.
Shaking my head I made my way into Dean’s office. I cleared my throat loudly,
watching as he pulled away from his mate, the younger man blushing furiously,
just like always. “You still haven’t gotten over being shy, have you, Michael?”
I asked, flopping down on the couch, taking a long drink from my beer.
Dean looked at the doorway, as if expecting Lucifer to be right behind me.
“He’s at home. Hopefully not still hiding from me in the guest room, but
knowing him...” I trailed off, shrugging.
Dean and Michael both gave me puzzled looks.
I ran my fingers through my hair, “He’s pissed right now. Like really,
obscenely pissed at me. Fuck, I think had he been any angrier he would have
decked me.”
Dean crossed his arms, glaring at me, “What the hell did you do to piss him
off, Sammy?”
“It’s not that I did anything so much as he saw me looking at someone else.”
“I know my brother is in love with you, Sam, but that shouldn’t be a reason to
get angry,” Michael said, biting his lip.
“Yeah, well tell your brother that. I mean, I am sorry but... what was I
supposed to do. It was my TRUE MATE. God, I could tell the second I laid eyes
on him, and when I caught his scent...” I ran my hand over my face, “It’s not
like I touched him or anything, well you know, in any way that wasn’t strictly
professional.”
Michael and Dean stared at me. I could tell the instant they realized what I
was talking about. Dean opened his mouth then closed it a few times, words not
coming from his mouth. Michael on the other hand looked at me with wide eyes
before asking quietly, “Just how young is he?”
“He’s seven. Sent his blood work in to confirm he’s Omega, but I could smell
it, could almost taste it. I,” I closed my eyes, biting my lip before
continuing, “saw him about a month ago, playing in the park. Lucifer and I were
out walking the dogs, and... I mean it was only for a couple seconds and I
never saw him again until today. But the moment he was within five feet of me I
knew.”
Dean was giving this look, one that anyone who didn’t know our history wouldn’t
get. “Sammy, fuck, dude. I feel bad for you.”
I nodded, “Yeah. Why do you think I needed to come talk to you? Lucifer was
accusing me... when we got home... he shoved me against the wall, got in my
face, fucking accused me of being like Dad in so many words.”
Dean cringed, “Sam, you are nothing like that bastard. I can’t imagine what
you’re going through, how you’re feeling. Fuck. You know how I reacted when I
met Michael.”
I did quite well. Dean had freaked out when the two of them first met, at my
mating ceremony of all things. Michael was, is, Lucifer’s younger brother. But
when Lucifer and I had our ceremony Dean had been 28, the age I currently am,
and Michael... Michael had been all of 15, old enough that no one would have a
problem with their relationship, Michael was an Omega after all, but still
young enough that Dean felt like a disgusting pervert.
The three of us go silent for a while, and I finish the rest of my beer. I
didn’t even notice Michael leaving the room until he returned, beers in one
hand, a bottle of Jack and shot glasses in the other. He sits down next to me
and motions Dean over. I’m thinking about our childhood, mine and Dean’s that
is, thinking about our parents mostly. Papa was a good man, he really was, but
our Omega parent was just as terrified, just as abused as we were by Dad.
And fuck, by the time Papa met his TRUE MATE and got the three of us away from
Dad, the damage had already been done. Don’t get me wrong, Papa is doing
amazing nowadays, and that has a lot to do with Crowley. Crowley was the one
who pushed to get Dad arrested for what he did to us, Crowley was the one who
made sure that both Dean and I could go to college, that Papa could actually
finish school himself. I almost wish they had met sooner, but the past can’t be
changed.
You wouldn’t know it by looking at him, but Dean is a licensed psychologist.
Why he decided to open a bar instead of his own practice is beyond me, but it
makes him happy, and he swears that he is helping people in his own way, which
maybe he is. And me on the other hand, I became a nurse to help children. You
don’t know how many cases of abuse I have ended up bringing to the light of
day, because I know the signs, know them from experience. This thing with
Castiel, with finding my true mate, was really throwing me for a loop, making
me feel like I was no better than Azazel Winchester, the bastard who took my
innocence, the bastard who abused me and Dean and our Papa, John, the son of a
bitch we called Dad.
“You’re nothing like him,” Michael said, handing me a shot. He’s always so
kind, quiet, but when he does speak it pays to listen to him. At times I sort
wish he was my mate instead of Dean’s, but he makes my brother happy, happier
than I can remember him being before they met. Oh, sure, Dean freaked out when
he realized that Michael was it for him, the ONE, but they were good together,
so damn good it makes my heart break because Lucifer and I... it’s never been
like that.
I nodded slowly, looking down at my hands, “I know. But... God, he said I
looked like I wanted to throw the boy over the examination table and fuck him
right there.” My mind brought images of Castiel’s face into my thoughts and I
smiled, giving a happy little sigh.
“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?” Dean asked, sipping from his beer.
When I nodded he laughed lightly, “Tell us about him. What does he look like?
What’s his name? You know, those kinds of things.”
“His name is Castiel,” the words are barely out of my mouth before I see
Michael’s eyes going wide.
I watch as he reaches into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. Before I can say
anything he pulls out a picture, not showing it to me right away. “What does he
look like?”
I can see Cas’ face in my mind quite easily. “He has these amazing blue eyes,
this happy smile, black hair.”
Michael holds out his hand, “About this tall?” When I nod he holds out the
photo in his hand, “That’s my baby brother, Castiel.”
I look at the photo, eyes widening. Sure enough, staring back at me was my
Castiel. The person who I knew would be responsible for the dissolving of my
mateship with Lucifer. I ran my finger gently down his face on the photo,
taking shaky breaths before I looked up at Michael. I was glad when I didn’t
see anger on his face. “Michael. You know I would never do anything...”
“I know, Sam. I trust you. You aren’t a bad guy. You being so upset about
wanting him, when you should, it’s only natural as he is your mate, says a lot
about the kind of man you are. I worry about him, part of me has always sorta
known Cas was an Omega, and I just want him safe. The thing is, he’s still so
damn young. I know you’rd never hurt him.”
I nod, not sure of what to say. Here I came to talk to Dean, and I had spent
more time talking to his mate. Something bothered me though, “How come Lucifer
didn’t recognize him, if he’s your brother?”
“You know my father took more than one mate, right? Most of them are female,
hell all of them are except his Omega mate. Lucifer is from his first wife. Cas
and I, well we’re from Father’s youngest female mate. I’m her eldest and Cas is
her youngest. Lucifer was in college when Cas was born so I’m not even sure if
he knows about him, it’s not like he has to, I mean, we’re only his half
brothers.”
That makes sense in an odd way, though in the same regard it made the whole
situation so much worse. It was bad enough that I was going to end up leaving
Lucifer, someone I cared for deeply, and now knowing that he was in love with
me made that so much worse. But the fact that I was going to leave him for his
little half-brother, his very much underage baby brother? That seemed almost
like a cruel twist of fate.
“There still is the fact that Cas is very much too young for me to even be
thinking about.”
Dean nodded at that, “Yeah, there is that. You’d have to wait at least a 5
years before you could even think about taking him as your mate without it
being illegal. Unless...” he trailed off, looking mildly ashamed of himself.
I knew exactly what he was talking about. Knots-root. Knots-root was illegal,
and for very good reason. Even the smallest amount of knots-root would send an
Omega into early puberty, making them physically develop years before they
should. They’d shoot up a few inches, seeming to age, at least physically that
is, almost 4 or 5 years in only a few months until they went into their first
heat roughly 3 or 4 months after taking the substance.
Knots-root was used by criminal elements to this day, they’d kidnap young
Omegas and given them the substance, and as soon as the boys went into heat
they’d sell them to the highest bidders. Even though it was illegal it was easy
to get if you knew where to look, and it barely took any to get the process
started, only a single leaf from the plant was needed to make enough purified
knots-root to be used on over a dozen boys.
I shuddered at the thought, but at the same time my mind was telling me that
this might be the only way. I gave Dean a dirty look, one he nodded at, knowing
where my thoughts had went.
“It might be for the best,” Michael said softly, looking down at his hands
before pouring himself a shot and downing it. “Just... promise me if you do,
that you’ll let Cas use suppressors? Father almost lost it completely when he
found out I had taken them, and he forbid Mom, and the rest of his mates from
allowing their Omega offspring to use any. He says it’s not natural. But... if
Cas goes into heat early, and he’s with his mate? Father can’t say no, can’t
control what sort of medication Castiel takes.”
I shouldn’t be contemplating this, but I nod, downing my own drink.
Dean clears his throat. “I, uh, I know a guy. I can get you what you need by
tomorrow.”
I stand, hugging them, “Yeah, why don’t you. Castiel has to come in on Friday
for his test results. I can... I can give it to him then. He has some
inoculations he has to get then anyway, so one more shot won’t be suspicious.”
My hands are shaking when I get to the car and I feel vaguely sick with myself.
Lucifer was still in the guest room when I got home, but at least the door
wasn’t locked. He was sleeping on top of the covers, and I could tell he’d been
crying. It hurt to see him like this, really it did, but he should be happy for
me. It wasn’t like we needed to stay together, not anymore, our practice was
off the ground, running smoothly, and even if our mateship was dissolved he’d
be able to keep it now, no matter what happened between us. But at the same
time I felt guilty, guilty for the way I was hurting my best friend, guilty for
the way I felt for this child, my perfect little mate.
I kept seeing his face whenever I closed my eyes, and I was ashamed by the fact
that thinking about him had me hard. I walked into my bedroom and got ready for
bed, ignoring my arousal. At least I tried to, but when I tried to get to sleep
I kept seeing him, kept smelling his scent, and with shame I reached down and
began to touch myself, biting my lip to drown out any sounds I would make,
trying so hard to think of anyone else, but I couldn’t. I wanted Cas, needed to
know what he tasted like, what he would sound like when we made love, and I
knew that’s what it would be.
I’d had sex before, a lot of sex, but I had never made love to anyone. But what
I was thinking about, what I wanted to do with him would be just that. God I
could almost hear the little sounds he’d make for me, hear the slick sound of
my cock thrusting into his dripping hole again and again. I’d do as Michael
requested and put Cas on suppressors, but fuck, I could almost see him
stretched out on my bed, this bed, flush with arousal, stomach swelled with my
baby. I came hard, biting my lip so hard that I drew blood.
As I lay there panting in the afterglow I looked over at the doorway and saw
Lucifer standing there, tears streaming down his face. I wanted to go to him,
but my body was too relaxed to move.
“We’ve been together six years, Sam, mated for four of those, and I don’t think
I have ever seen that look on your face after we made love, not one time.”
“Luci,” I paused, what could I say to make this right. Nothing. I couldn’t say
a damn thing. He walked away and I heard the guest room door close again. He
wasn’t the only one crying himself to sleep that night.
The next day I went to work like usual, and while things weren’t like they
normally were between me and Luci, at least he was talking to me more than he
had the day prior. Dean texted me at lunch time, letting me know my “package”
was in and that I should stop by and pick it up after work. I told Lucifer I
had to see Dean after work, that I’d be stopping there before heading home and
once more he told me not to get too drunk.
Drinking was hardly on my thoughts. I waved to Balthazar when I walked in the
door, not even bothering to stop and order a drink. Dean was waiting for me in
his office, looking slightly nervous about the whole thing. I could understand
his nervousness, I was scared shitless myself. He reached into his desk,
pulling out a small plastic vial. I nodded, slipping it into my pocket, asking
him how much I owed him. He waved me off, telling me that I best do whatever it
took to take care of my mate, that that would be his payment.
I spent the night deep in thought, going over just what was to happen the next
day. The vial was tucked away in my bag, but I kept wanting to go and pull it
out, to look at this thing that would change everything.
Thankfully, or not maybe, Lucifer distracted me by having me help him move his
things into what had been the guest room. It made everything more real,
watching him pull his clothes out of his drawers, clothes that had sat next to
mine for years now, knowing that they would never be there again. I could
barely talk to him, what could I say, anything I would have said would have
sounded like empty promises.
I kissed him once, trying to show him how much he really meant to me, but he
pulled away right away, tears starting to fill his eyes.
“Don’t, Sam. Don’t pretend this is something we can fix. I knew you didn’t feel
the same way, but to have it confirmed...” he trailed off brokenly.
“You know I never meant to hurt you. God, you’re one of the most important
people in my life, Lucifer, you have been for a very long time, but... I can’t
help how things are.”
Lucifer nodded, closing his eyes so I wouldn’t see the heartache I knew I’d
see, “Did you ever love me? Even a little bit?”
“Lucifer, I love you. I always will love you.”
“But you’re not in love with me.”
“I’m sorry, but no. I’m not. I... I care for you. I want the best for you. I’d
be miserable without you in my life. But I’m not in love with you.”
“I knew. I always knew, but I held on to the hope that one day...” Lucifer was
in tears at this point. I wrapped him in my arms before he continued, “What am
I going to do, Sam? I love you so damn much and I lost you. I knew a month ago
it was over, God, I knew you aren’t like your birth father. I shouldn’t have
said what I said last night.”
“No, it’s okay, Lucifer. It’s fine. You were hurting and upset. I hurt you. I
didn’t mean to, but I did.” I’m not sure how long we stood there, me with my
arms wrapped around him, him crying into my shoulder. I didn’t know what to do.
We finally finished moving his things into his room, and as he closed the door
that night to go to sleep I knew a chapter of my life had ended.
The next morning Castiel’s test results came in, and like I had known, it was
confirmed that Cas was indeed an Omega. I am loath to admit that the primal
Alpha part of my brain was screaming “yes, yes, yes, MINE” over and over again.
By the time Cas showed up with his mother I was almost vibrating with
excitement. She took the news like I thought she would, tears forming in her
eyes.
It wasn’t hard to grab an extra needle to give Cas the knots-root. I knew damn
well that no one would be able to trace it back to me, as by the time Cas would
start showing any signs of something wrong it would be too late and the knots-
root would be long out of his system, but it’s effects would stay in place.
Maybe I let my hand rest on his shoulder a little too long, and when his mother
noticed I made an offhand comment about being Dean’s brother. That seemed to
get rid of all her nervousness about me. But the look that Lucifer gave me,
questioning me silently, asking me if Castiel was Michael’s brother, I couldn’t
help but nod at him.
I kinda wondered just how many kids were in his family that he didn’t even know
about, and if like him and Michael and Castiel they were all named after
biblical figures. It wouldn’t surprise me to find out he had four siblings
named after the first four humans according to the bible: Adam, the first
Alpha; Boaz, the first Beta; Obadiah, the first Omega; and Eve, the first
woman. I’d have to ask that question at a later time though, because Michael
and Castiel’s mother was asking me how Michael was, stating that she hadn’t
seen him in a few months.
I told her the truth, that Michael was doing well, that he and Dean were
finally trying to have a baby, and the smile she gave was breathtaking. But
Cas, god Cas looked so excited by that fact.
“I hope they have a baby, that would make me an uncle,” he said with a giggle.
I grinned, tickling him a little bit, “Aren’t you already an uncle?”
He nodded, “But not by Michael. Need to be an uncle by Michael.”
I smiled at that, but didn’t say anything else. Lucifer was watching me
closely, and I knew he was just waiting for me to do something, anything that
he could get angry at. But I behaved myself, acting professional for the rest
of the visit, promising to tell Michael hi from Castiel and his mother the next
time I saw him. Before they left, though, Cas gave me this great big hug, and I
swore the boy sniffed me. He had this little grin on his face, that had he been
older would have meant something so different.
A month later I find myself crashing in Dean and Michael’s guest room. It
wasn’t that I had moved out, or that Lucifer had kicked me out of our house,
but the fact remained that I hated to be alone in the house. I should have been
in Paris with Lucifer, spending a much needed two week vacation with him. But
neither of us felt comfortable with both of us going, and I told Lucifer to go
and enjoy himself. He took Balthazar with him, someone he had been spending a
lot of time with ever since that fateful day. Don’t get me wrong, part of me
wished I was in Paris, part of me wished that things were the same as they had
been before. That life was easy, we both knew where we stood, we had fallen
into a pattern that was comfortable. But at the same time, I knew that I
couldn’t go back to how things had been.
Besides, I knew that not too soon Lucifer would end up moving out of our house
and in with Balthazar, and by default, in with Gabriel, Balthazar’s Omega mate.
Balthazar was an Alpha like I was, but unlike me he was what was known as a
“Pack Builder”, an Alpha who would take more than one mate. It happened quite
frequently, look at Lucifer’s father for instance, and while I couldn’t
understand the appeal of more than one partner many other Alphas did.
I’d made my choices, choices I was getting to see the firsthand results of.
Michael and Castiel’s mother was spending time with their father. And Cas, Cas
was spending that time at his big brother’s house, spending quality time with
Michael, and by virtue of me being there with me as well. He’d grown an inch
and a half in the month since his last visit, still small, but growing quickly.
So far no one had questioned his sudden growth, these things did happen every
so often after all, but all too soon it would be noticeable that something
wasn’t right.
Of course, by now the knots-root was well out of his system, and there were no
tests to prove it had ever been given to him. But people weren’t stupid, him
growing this fast, him aging as he was was a classic sign that someone had
given him the substance. I doubted anyone would pin this on me. Why would they?
I was in a mateship, one that was currently in the middle of a dissolvement,
but still I was legally mated.
Besides, even if anyone started to think I was responsible they couldn’t do
anything. Legally speaking, I could just take Castiel home with me and no one
could stop me, he was my MATE after all, something that could be proven quite
easily by a simple blood test. A blood test that I had sent out during Cas’
last visit. The fact that I had a genetic mate, one that matched me on a
cellular level, one that no one would fight me being with, made the
dissolvement go much faster than an ordinary one would.
I behaved myself, I really did. But sometimes I didn’t want to, sometimes I
just wanted to drag Cas to my room, to map his body with my hands and mouth, to
teach him how his body worked, to learn what little sounds he would make for
me. I kept my touches innocent though, never putting my hand any lower than his
upper back when he’d hug me, something I found him doing again and again.
Michael would give this little smile when he looked at us, the way Castiel
seemed to be glued to my side, not by my doing but by his own. It was as if
Castiel couldn’t stop touching me, couldn’t stop sniffing my neck whenever he
got the chance. It was almost enough to drive me to distraction. Dean put his
foot down when Castiel tried pouting at me and Michael to let him sleep in my
room with me, something I was greatly thankful for.
I didn’t trust myself. Didn’t trust that I wouldn’t rub against the boy in my
sleep, that I wouldn’t scare him away, making it hard for him to trust me. And
that trust was needed. I already loved him, loved him more than I had ever
thought I could love another and I wasn’t about to make him not want to be
around me. His scent was maddening, and each night I ended up with my hand
around my shaft, stroking myself to completion, burying my face in his shirt,
moaning his name.
I knew that I wouldn’t be able to wait for Castiel to get on suppressors when
he hit his first heat. I knew that as soon as that happened and it was revealed
to his mother that we were mates that I’d have him in my bed and make him fully
mine.
There was a solution to that, though, Alpha Suppressors. They were much more
expensive than the ones for Omegas, but they were even more effective. If I
took them for a month now it would take a year of not taking them before I
would be fertile again, and by then Castiel would be on suppressors of his own.
I made a mental note to get myself a prescription as soon as I could, because
in only a matter of months Castiel would go into heat, in a matter of months he
would truly be mine for the rest of our lives.
The next two months seemed to move slower than they should. I knew I should be
patient, but I needed Cas, needed the boy like I needed air. I’d taken my
suppressors for over a month, giving myself the window needed before I would
have to put Cas on them. Michael knew I had taken the drugs, and that seemed to
make him calmer. He worried about his little brother, a fact that made me
smile.
I hated coming home to an empty house, as Lucifer had moved out within days of
coming home from Paris, just like I knew he would. We were still friends, but
it was hard to not have him there all the time. I had grown dependent on his
presence, but he was happy, truly happy for the first time in a long time. We’d
had our mateship fully dissolved and he was already legally mated to both
Balthazar and Gabriel, who shockingly enough ended up both being sons of his
father by different wives. But I wasn’t about to say anything about that fact,
why should I, it’s not like they were doing anything illegal.
Castiel’s mother knew he was my mate already. The paperwork with the test
result was sent to her house, and while I knew she was suspicious of me, of my
involvement with Castiel’s growth spurts, I knew she couldn’t prove it. And the
fact that I could take care of him, that she wouldn’t have to live in fear of
some cruel Alpha scooping him up, or worse him having to go off into the
shelters during his heats to prevent someone forcing themselves on him made her
a bit less worried. But she was his mother, and as such she only wanted the
best for her little boy.
I did spend a good amount of time with him, with Michael supervising, of
course. He was no where near his final height, knots-root couldn’t make that
happen, no matter how much he was given, but he looked as if he was almost 14
years old by then. He was over a foot taller than he had been only three months
earlier, and when I looked at him with lust in my eyes I felt less like a
pervert and more like a mate staring adoringly at what was mine.
Looking at him sitting next to Michael it is even more obvious that they are
brothers. While not identical there is no denying their relation. Each time I
see Cas I am drawn more and more to him and I know he feels it too. He’s at the
physical stage where he’s starting to want sex, and I know that all too soon
his first heat will come and I will finally have what is rightfully mine. By
the time it happens a week later he is living with me, his mother deciding it
was safer if he was with me than away from my side. Omegas in heat will go
after the nearest Alpha, and I was damned if anyone but myself would be able to
have him.
It happened on a Friday night. We were sitting on the couch watching some TV
and Cas had been squirming for hours already. I had a sneaking suspicion what
was going on, but I wasn’t about to make the first move. This was about him,
making things special for him, and me just grabbing him, throwing him down onto
the bed and having my way with him would make me no better than my father had
been. I sat there, letting his scent fill my nostrils, cock hard in my pants,
mouth watering with anticipation.
“Cas, are you alright?” I ask, voice calmer than I thought it would be.
He shook his head, biting his lip. Finally he spoke, “Something’s wrong, Sam.
I... I don’t know what’s going on.” He was blushing, looking embarrassed. “I
think I peed my pants too. They’re wet.”
“Where are they wet, Sweetie?” I asked, leaning a tad bit closer to him, even
though I know exactly where he will answer.
“In back. I... I need to go change,” Cas said, standing to leave the room.
I stop him with a gentle hand on his wrist, brushing the skin lightly. “I don’t
think you wet your pants, Angel. Did you want me to check what happened?”
He nods, and I know he has no clue what is going to happen. I doubt his mother
told him we were mates, in fact I was pretty certain that he didn’t even know
why he was living with me. I gently take his hand in mine and start walking
towards the stairs, not even bothering to turn the TV off. He’s a little
confused when we go to my room, but stands before the bed when I ask him to do
so. I’ve been waiting for this moment for months now, but I’m still nervous
about this, my hands shaking ever so slightly as I move to pull his shirt over
his head.
He looks at me with those big blue eyes, trust written on his face as I toss
the shirt in the direction of the door. Castiel is breathing heavy when my
hands move to his waistband, my fingers pausing at the button. He nods once,
and I open the button, fingers moving to the zipper. He’s hard, as hard as I am
and my fingers brush against his cock through his underwear as I lower the
zipper.
Castiel moans, eyes closing before widening in shock as I gently palm his
erection, pushing his pants down with my other hand. He steps out of his soaked
jeans, and I kick them towards his shirt. His breathing is coming faster and I
have to take a deep breath to control my actions. I refuse to do anything he
doesn’t want, but right now all I can think of is how good he smells, how good
it’s going to feel being buried inside of him.
I ask him to turn around, and he gives me this nervous little smile before
doing so. His underwear is soaked through, dripping wet with the slick coming
from his hole. I lean forward, breathing in his scent, sticking out my tongue
just long enough to sneak a taste of him. Fuck he tastes better than I thought
he would, and I have to stop myself from yanking the fabric down and burying my
face between his cheeks, from burying my tongue in his hole and lapping up his
sweet smelling juices.
Castiel shudders, but before I can ask him if it was a good or bad shudder he
moans. It’s better than I imagined it would be. I’m about to do it again when I
hear him say my name. I pull back, moving so that I am in front of him.
“Sam? Am I... I mean... are we mates?” he sounds so confused and yet hopeful at
the same time.
I nod, licking my lips out of nervous habit, “Yeah, we are, Cas. I knew the
second I laid eyes on you. I won’t pressure you, though. I shouldn’t have done
that.”
He whimpers, this needy little sound that goes straight to my cock, “Why? Why
shouldn’t you have done that? It felt good.”
“Don’t wanna force you, Baby. Only want to give you what you want, what you ask
for.”
“Sam, please. I don’t know what to ask for. I’m... I feel like I am burning up.
I feel empty. I need... I don’t know. Help me,” he sounds so lost, much the age
he really is, not the age his body appears.
For a second I feel a bit ashamed at my actions, but it’s too late to turn
back, too late to do anything but continue on the path I placed us both on.
“Want me to take control, Angel. Make you feel better?”
He nods, moaning out, “Yes.”
“You’re going into your first heat, my love. That’s why you’re all wet down
there. Your body is getting all nice and ready for me.”
Castiel’s eyes widen. I watch as he puts his hand on his stomach, “I’m too
young. I can’t have a baby yet.”
I sit down on the edge of the bed, pulling him down onto my lap. My arms are
wrapped around him and I rub his back in soothing circles, “I know, Sweetie.
It’ll be okay. I took suppressors. You know what those are, don’t you?”
He nods, “They make it so I can’t get pregnant. Father says I’m not allowed to
take them.”
I kiss his forehead, “Your father can’t say anything about it anymore, Cas.
You’re my mate, Baby. He can’t tell you what to do. I promised Michael we’d put
you on suppressors for a while. Don’t worry, my love, we won’t think about
having children yet.”
He smiles, relaxing at that. I can feel his wetness soaking into the leg of my
jeans, but until he tells me to move I’ll be content holding him. He’s hot to
the touch, a side affect of his heat. “When you’ve gone through this heat I’ll
get you suppressors, for now we’re safe though. Couldn’t get you pregnant even
if I tried, not for a year, Cas.”
“Sam... I want... please. Anything, I need...”
At that moment I know he doesn’t have the words to express what he’s trying to
say. I nod, standing him up once more. Before he can question me I stand as
well, pulling my shirt over my head and tossing it to the floor. He watches me
with wide eyes as I continue undressing, which doesn’t take long, as other than
the shirt the only thing I had been wearing was my jeans. He’s blushing as he
looks at my naked body.
I kneel in front of him, slowly pulling his underwear down until it is pooling
around his ankles. When he steps out of it I toss them to the side. “Turn
around, Baby.” He does so, only pausing briefly before he’s facing away from
me. His slick is pouring out of him now, running down between his legs, the
wetness shining in the low light of my bedroom. I lean forward, licking at the
sweet wetness coming out of him, listening to the little moans he’s making.
I keep lapping up his juices, my tongue drawing ever closer to his hole. I can
see it, red and leaking, waiting for something inside of it. I moan as I
finally reach it, holding him by the hips to keep him steady. Cas is crying out
my name, thrusting back instinctively as I lick and suck and tease his body
into readiness.
“Sam, please, more. Feel so empty. Need...” he trails off on a long drawn out
moan,
“Want me inside of you, Angel?” I ask, my voice sounding wrecked.
I can see him nodding his head, but the sound he makes when he almost begs me
to be inside of him has me standing quickly. I pick him up in my arms, smiling
at the little squeal of protest he makes. I move us back to the bed, laying him
down onto my, our mattress. He smiles up at me and it makes my pulse race. No
one has ever looked at me like that, like I am the most important thing in
their life. I lean down and kiss him softly, our first official kiss, and it is
the most amazing kiss I can ever remember having.
By the time I pull away we are both breathless and Cas is squirming again. I
wanted to take my time, map out his body, but neither of us has the patience
for that right now. I gently shove his legs apart, kneeling between them. I
line the head of my cock up with his hole, moaning as his body seems to swallow
me. Before I know it I am fully inside of him, and he’s gasping, eyes wide,
mouth open in a wide O of shock. I wonder what his lips would feel like wrapped
around me, but know that will have to wait.
I begin to move, slowly at first, not wanting to hurt him, this is his first
time after all. It’s never been like this with anyone, so right and perfect, so
damn good that I fear it will be over before things really start to get good. I
try to draw things out as long as possible, trying to will my knot to not swell
too soon, but the sweet wet heat of Castiel’s channel has me swelling quickly.
I pick up my pace, thrusting into his body, kissing him continuously. He’s
clawing at my shoulders, taking all of my thrusts, begging me for more.
He curses when my knot finally works it’s way into him, and I swear that does
something to me. I’ve never heard him curse, and the blush that covers his face
makes me want to laugh, but I don’t, I simply kiss him, trying to let him know
that everything will be okay. I keep rocking into him, unable to give more than
shallow thrusts, my knot tying us together. He clings to me, body shaking as
his orgasm rips through him, covering our stomaches in our seed. I can feel my
own orgasm, cock shooting out spurt after spurt of come, filling his body for
the first time, making him mine.
By the time I am able to pull out he’s exhausted, and has came so many times
he’s coming dry now. He whimpers as I pull out of him, sore, but at the same
time I know that in only a few hours we’ll be doing this again as his heat
roars back to life. I roll us so that Cas is resting on my chest, my arms
wrapped around him tightly.
He’s mine, the one person, one thing I have wanted out of life. No matter what
happens after this I know he’ll be with me, I know he’ll never leave me. I love
him, and for the first time in my life I am truly happy and exactly where I was
meant to be. The future may be difficult for us and many people may think I am
wrong and evil for what I did, but as long as I have Castiel I will be able to
take it in stride.
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