Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/8738053.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Yuri!!!_on_Ice_(Anime)
  Relationship:
      Katsuki_Yuuri_&_Victor_Nikiforov
  Character:
      Katsuki_Yuri, Victor_Nikiforov, Yakov, Chris, Mila, Mari
  Additional Tags:
      Trigger_Warnings, Rape, noncon, Alcoholism, Underage_-_Freeform, still
      born, Mental_Anguish, Broken_Family, AU, The_boys_family_is_seriously
      fucked, Drug_Use, Amnesia, Abuse, Bullying, Sex_for_cash, Oh_and_mpreg,
      Not_like_omegaverse
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-12-03 Chapters: 12/12 Words: 23402
****** Trash ******
by Ashratherose
Summary
     The boys family was broken, but not as broken as he was.
     The only place he felt ok was on the ice but even then that was only
     a short lived escape
      
     An AU in which Victor(a skating elite) takes in a boy who views his
     worth as trash.
     The boy had long since left his emotions behind, so why is it that
     this elite can make him feel?
***** Chapter 1 *****
Laying in the cold wet alley the boy bit back a sob, he could feel himself
tearing and wondered if he was going to die.
But still he pushed, tearing that it more. He wondered what he'd done to
deserve this. His lips bit down hard on his bottom lip as bore down desperate
for it to be over.
He already knew what the outcome would be, he was barely 6 months pregnant.
With a final howl he felt the baby slide free, but he couldn't bare to look at
it. Hell he didn't even know who the father was. Another contraction hit and he
pushed again. Expelling the placenta.
His legs were shaking and his arse,thighs, hips and back were slick with birth.
He found it funny he where he was laying now there had more than likely been
trash bags this morning. But then again he himself was trash.
He made no move to look at the child. Instead he embraced the darkness that
crept across his vision, thinking to himself he nice it would be not to wake
up.
*
Waking up he let out a groan. The moon was still high in the sky and he was
still alive.
He tried to sit up.
The blood and birth had started to dry so awkwardly he stripped off the black
hoodie he was wearing. He shivered in the cold. The hoodie had been the only
thing keeping it out.
Wiping at the mess he stared down at the child. He felt no love for it at all.
When he'd cleaned himself the best he could he pulled his jeans back on,
ignoring the way the cold fabric bit at his skin.
Finally he picked the child up. The night had robbed it of any warmth it may
have had. He wanted to feel something but just couldn't.
Wrapping it in the ruined jumper he steadied himself against the wall as he
stood.
His whole body throbbed and his hips screamed in protest but the boy still
pushed on.
*
Standing at the edge of the bridge he watched the way the black water swirled
around the cement supports. Without thinking twice he dropped the wrapped
bundle into it.
He hated himself for the lack of tears. If only he was normal things might
never have turned out like this.
Turning the boy started to walk home.
*
The lights in the lounge room shone out with a false happiness. He dreaded
opening the door, he knew full well what would be waiting on the other side.
But he had no where else to go.
Pushing open the front door he could hear his parents screaming at each other.
The sound of smashing glass more than likely indicated someone had thrown a
beer bottle again. It wasn't unusual.
Ignoring the rubbish and dirty needles littering the stairs, the boy pushed on
and up into the bathroom.
The bathroom was the only room in the whole house with a lock. It was the only
place the boy felt safe.
Stripping off his now ruined jeans he ignored the blood stains. The back of his
shirt was just as bloody.
Stripping his underwear though was physically painful. The smell of shit and
blood filled the room. He supposed he really shouldn't have been surprised by
it. He'd have to burn the clothes later. Destroy the last piece of evidence
anything every happened.
Looking in the mirror he almost laughed. His lower half smeared with blood and
his top half covered in sores and scars.
Turning the water on he kept the pressure low. If it was to high they'd hear
him and turn their rage to him. It made cleaning hard though and the pain
wasn't getting any better. But still he went to work, wiping over and over
until the water finally ran clear.
*
Slipping from the bathroom he heard them still screaming and knew he'd be safe
until morning at least. The towel around his waist would need to be burnt too,
he'd reopened the fresh tears when he'd dried off.
Closing his bedroom door he moved a chair to under its handle. Growing up the
boy had wished he'd lived in a normal home. With normal parents who actually
loved him. But that was now a long forgotten dream. He'd learnt the reality of
it all before he'd even turned 13 and at 15 he'd fallen pregnant.
His sister had been lucky. She'd escaped from all this. She'd promised to come
for him but never did, he was the ugly reminded of the past.
Dressing he slid into his bed. He couldn't even remember the last time the
sheets had been cleaned. He hated it but at least it wasn't the streets.
*
Waking up in the morning he could hear his parents already at it. He forced
himself to lie still in bed until he heard the front door slam. Every morning
was the same. Every morning his mother would storm out while his father stayed
home shooting up and drinking.
He had no idea where his mother went or why she returned, but now she was gone
it meant that he'd have to get up.
His father was the reason he'd even fallen pregnant to begin with. Unable to
pay for drugs he'd let the dealer and his friends do his son instead.
At first he'd tried to fight. To bite and scratch and scream, but soon it
became clear no one would help. He didn't know how long he stared at the wall
while they pounded in over and over. They'd even laughed when they torn him.
After that night it became the norm. The sores on his chest and back came from
when they were high. He first time they'd pulled the knife out he prayed to god
they'd finally kill him, but they never did.
He wondered if they'd noticed the change in his abdomen. He wondered if tonight
they'd still want to do him even though his arse was already torn.
But most of all he wondered why he hadn't killed them already.
*
Dressing this morning hurt so badly that he'd had to stop. He knew he risked a
beating if he stayed there much longer but the pain made it so hard to move.
Walking down the stairs he heard his father screaming his name. The boy didn't
stop. He walked straight through to the kitchen, not at all surprised to see
the needle hanging out his fathers arm.
Without saying anything he knew what was expected of him and set about making
breakfast for his father. Every morning it was the same. Fried eggs and bacon
on toast.
The boy couldn't remember the last time he'd had a real meal. The little money
he stole he used at the ice rink.
He wondered what his parents would think if they knew that's where it went. Ice
skating was the only place he felt any sort of peace with himself.
Setting the loaded plate in front of his father he backed away. Still a beer
bottle was thrown in his direction, missing and shattering next to his feet.
"Clean it up!"
He didn't need to be told twice. Cleaning up the broken shards he pressed one
to his wrist. Pushing down he concentrated on the pain rushing to the area. It
would just be so easy.
But he didn't.
Instead he swept the shards up as well as the ones from last night.
He pushed out he sounds of his fathers sloppy eating even pigs had more
manners.
When his father was done he walked out the room, no doubt moving to the lounge
room to drink and shoot some more while watching some stupid outdated rerun.
Washing the plate he placed it in the rack. It was amazing how a little bit of
soap and water could get something clean. But he wasn't a plate and he'd never
be clean.
Opening the fridge he reached for the empty can at the back. He had no idea why
his parents stored their cash in it.
He skimmed off a few of the smaller bills and stuffed them in his pocket.
His fathers laugh rang in his ears and he walked back down the hallway and out
the front door.
***** 2 *****
The boys body shook.
It wasn't as if the ice rink was a long walk, but his body was still exhausted.
He supposed if he had had a normal life he would be in hospital, but that was
just a fantasy.
Walking up the steps he had to stop and catch his breath. His underwear already
felt sticky but he paid it no mind.
The cool air from the air flowing from the air conditioning felt soothing
against his fevered skin. He knew he wouldn't be able to jump today but he
still wanted to skate. It would be the only place he'd be able to sort his
thoughts out.
The boy didn't mind the young woman who worked at the hire desk. She never
treated him and different from anyone else. She was the only one in the world
who treated him like he was human, she didn't know he was trash.
*
Stepping on the ice the boy took a few cautionary steps. His legs were already
shaking and the stickiness he felt was only growing. But once again he pushed
that aside.
The boy hated days like today. Although there were very few people at the rink
the older teens where there. He didn't understand why he felt so self conscious
when they were. It's not like he was in there league.
Skating off to the far side the boy tried to push all thoughts away. His body
was desperately sore but that only served to tell him he was still alive.
He heard laughing and whooping from the teens and looked there way. Someone
they called Chris was performing badly and they were all laughing.
The boy felt sick.
Skating small circles he worked on the routine he'd built in his mind.
Desperate to escape reality even for a short time.
He hadn't even noticed the teens had moved closer. He wouldn't have noticed if
it wasn't for the one called Chris calling out at him. The boy stopped.
This Chris person was laughing again but the boy had missed what he'd said.
Slowly he went to skate off the ice. Today was no good. If he survived until
tomorrow he'd come back then.
A hand came out and gripped the boys arm. Unthinkingly he jerked back from it,
losing his balance he fell back onto the ice.
The boy wanted to scream from the pain. His eyes filled with unshed tears. He
could feel the blood flowing freely now and tried to push himself, but his legs
wouldn't move. The boy wondered if he'd ever felt so embarrassed before.
A friend of this Chris person skated forward. Great another stranger. Kneeling
in front of the boy he placed a hand to his brow. The boy bit back a moan at
how wonderfully cool it felt.
"You shouldn't be on the ice if your sick"
The strangers voice was just as cool as the ice. He wondered what motives the
stranger could have for talking to him, after all he was just trash.
The stranger went to help him up but stopped just short instead he pulled a
phone out his pocket.
His friends all laughed at him but he hissed at them to be quiet. The girls
giggled.
"I'm going to call you an ambulance and then we'll move you off the ice"
The boy was puzzled, why did he need an ambulance? Looking down he realised how
much blood had seeped into his jeans. Fuck.
"No, don't call an ambulance, it's ok..."
If the boy ended up in hospital he'd only be discharged the second his parents
got there. They had no money to waste on that kind of thing, and he'd be beaten
the second he got home. No it was far better to bleed to death at home than to
go to hospital.
"Look kid you need medical attention"
The boy shook his head trying to get up. The strangers friends had lost
interest in this game and had already started to move away.
"Fine. I'll make you a deal. If you can get up and perform a triple toe loop
you don't have to go, I'll even arrange for a private practitioner to look at
you and pay the bill myself..."
The boy glared angrily at the stranger. There was no way he could be serious,
but still when the stranger extended his hand the boy took it and forced
himself to his feet.
The stranger let out a low whistle and the boy became self conscious about the
blood. Unzipping his jumper he tied it around his waist to his bloodied arse.
The boy wondered what would be done about the blood on the ice.
Skating away from the stranger he wondered if he shouldn't just make a run for
it. Any other day the teen would have had no chance of catching him, but today
wasn't any other day.
The boy didn't understand what he felt towards the older teen. He was a
stranger obviously finding delight in the boys pain, but still he'd offered to
help.
The boy looped around. His legs shook and he knew it was a bad idea but he
still did it anyway.
Gaining momentum the boy bit down on his lip, he bit hard enough to draw blood.
When he finally jumped he wondered if he could actually land it. He didn't even
know of what he was going was correct. No one had ever told him the names of
things like this.
The boy however did land his jump, but his body finally gave out and he
collapsed onto the ice. He'd gone beyond his limit and physically couldn't
move. He was aware of the teen skating toward him but allowed the creeping
blackness to once again claim him. Maybe this would be the time he finally
died.
***** 3 *****
Another unfamiliar ceiling.
Another unfamiliar bed.
The boy supposed he shouldn't be surprised, god only knew how many times it had
happened before.
He groaned not in pain but in annoyance. He had to go home. He had no idea how
many hours had passed since the ice rink, he carried neither a phone nor a
watch.
Moving he felt the familiar sting of a needle in his arms, he felt disgust.
However as he ran his fingers over the site he hadn't expected to find it taped
in.
"Leave it..."
The boy jumped and flinched, he hadn't realised he wasn't alone in the room.
Laying back he closed his eyes, he knew what came next. He may have been torn
but he knew that wouldn't stop some men, and at the moment the pain he felt was
minimal when compared with before.
Only that's wasn't what happened.
He felt the dip of the bed and a hand cup his face. He wanted to push the hand
away, if the man wanted to fuck there was no need for kind and gentle actions.
"I told you you shouldn't be on the ice if you were sick"
The boy forced his eyes back open, he realised only now it was the coolly
spoken stranger from the ice.
"I kept my end of the bargain even if you didn't, tell me why did you do a flip
and not a toe loop?"
The boy could only shake his head. He didn't know the difference.
"Surely you must know? What kind of fool were you to even skate in that
condition"
The boy let the strangers cool words wash over him, he didn't find the
strangers manner of speech entirely unagreeable.
"Looking at you here like this you seem more like a wounded pig than a human,
your body is well built other than that fat that hangs low on your gut"
The boy turned his head away. It wasn't his fault, he'd never wanted to fall
pregnant and when he had it wasn't like he had anyone to help him.
He'd tried to abort the pregnancy himself with alcohol and self harm but still
it had progressed. He still couldn't find the feelings to feel guilt over what
had happened.
"You will answer me as long as you are in my home"
Finally the boy spoke
"Then let me leave"
The stranger let out a cool laugh and the boy felt his skin prickle.
"You truly think you can leave like that? Be my guest but you won't even make
it from the bed"
The boy struggled to push up, it wasn't until he was sitting he realised that
most of his lower half was numb. The stranger laughed again before reaching out
and pushing him back down.
"Rest for now. Training will start tomorrow"
The boy was confused. Training? This stranger was clearly insane.
"I need to leave"
The boy wasn't staying for whatever was planned. He'd already be beaten when
got home and even that seemed preferable to whatever the alternative was
The strange scoffed
"A home to where you are beaten and drugged. That doesn't seem like a home to
me"
The boy felt horribly exposed. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised, but
usually they didn't care about the appearance of the merchandise only that he
kept his mouth shut until they were done.
"Don't get me wrong this is not a favour I'm giving you. You are nothing more
than a toy to break the monotony of this dull life. You will eat when I say,
sleep when I say and train when I say"
The stranger stood and walked across the room. The boy lay there scared waiting
for the door to open and the stranger to leave.
His heart was pounding and he couldn't calm down. He was more terrified now
than he had been in the alley. At least in the alley he had know the outcome,
here he did not.
*
The boy had fallen asleep again despite his best attempts not to. This time
when he awoke the needle was gone from his arm and his waist not longer numb.
The boy pushed himself up, the room was empty. Now was his chance. Sliding
across the bed ignored the pain that flared up from his hips. He was sitting on
the edge when the door opened.
The cool stranger had returned. The boy eyed the bundle suspiciously even as it
was passed into his hands
"I burnt your old clothes"
That was the only explanation he would be receiving. The boy would have done
the same. He realised he hadn't yet burn the clothes he'd left at home ruined
from birth. If his father saw he'd be beaten twice as hard. The boy had to
leave.
Not meeting the strangers eyes the boy dressed in silence. He wondered if the
stranger regarded his lack of shame with the same cold humour as the rest.
Standing the boy pushed past the stranger. Wincing as he felt his arm grabbed
again.
"Allow me to show you to the door"
The boy felt relief. He wondered if their interaction earlier had actually
happened.
Walking the boy to the front door the stranger followed him out. The boy paused
at the top of the steps unsure if he should say anything. In the end he decided
not.
The stranger reached out and pushed him with his fingertips, the boy caught off
guard fell. He bit hard into his lip, determined not to show the pain.
"I will come for you in 2 days. Be sure you're ready"
Pushing himself up the boy walked away. He had no idea where he was only that
he was certain the stranger had no idea where he lived, so he wouldn't have to
see him again.
*
It started again the second he walked through the door. The boy had no idea how
long he'd walked and he was sure he would collapse but some how he'd found it
back to this hell.
His father was at the him the second he walked in. He felt the hand to his
throats and closed his eyes. Maybe this was it.
Still holding his neck with one hand the boy was slammed head first into the
passage wall. The boy could taste blood.
His father didn't stop there and the boy didn't resist. Holding him firm he
dragged him through to the lounge room. The dank area was lit by the rooms one
lamp. He knew what was coming.
Falling to the floor he let himself by stripped. Far better to be fucked in the
dark than under the full brightness of the head light.
The boy kept his eyes closed ignoring his fathers friends.
When the first one pushed in he nearly screamed from the pain: his body tensed
at the unwelcome intrusion earning him as slap across the face.
The boy forced himself to relax.
Once again the seconds rolled into minute and minutes rolled on like years.
He didn't know how many men took him that night and wondered if he should even
care. He'd brought this upon himself after all.
He was truly no more than trash.
*
His fathers friends finally left and the boy struggled to feet. The clothes the
stranger had given him were now dirtied with alcohol and semen.
Forcing himself the body stumbled up to the bathroom. Locking the door he
examined himself in the cracked mirror. The bruising on his throats was
starting to develop and his left eye was red and bloodshot, undoubtedly from
being smacked against the wall.
The boy felt disgust.
Showering he took the chance and turned the water to full. It was doubtful his
father would leave the lounge room for the rest of the night.
The boy cleaned himself out the best he could. Semen and blood clung to his
fingers and thighs. But it was ok, he deserved this.
Retreating to his room he threw the strangers clothes in the corner. Maybe
tomorrow he'd be able to wash them.
He pulled on a pair of sweats and a shirt before remembering he needed to deal
with the bloodied clothes.
Reaching under the bed the boy retrieved them, his father hadn't found them.
Slipping out he tried to keep his steps light as he made his way to backyards
fire pit.
He felt nothing as he dosed the ruined cloth in turps and struck the match.
With the clothes gone the last evidence of that night no longer existed.
*
The boy slept late the next morning. He'd feared a beating but came down to
find his father still passed out in his recliner. His mother already gone.
The boy retrieved the clothes and put them in the machine before starting on
cleaning the house.
His body ached and he felt feverish but if he didn't clean it meant a beating
and he'd much rather avoid that.
When he'd finished the lounge and kitchen he stopped to check on his father. He
was still out of it. The boy paused before pulling the needle free. He hated
needles.
With his father still out of it the boy hung out his clothes, praying they
would dry before he woke. The next load he did was his bedding. He was thankful
for the dark sheets and he could feel the spots of dried blood and semen. The
last thing the boy needed was the neighbours asking questions.
*
The boy retreated back to his room once again placing the chair under the door
handle. He laid back on the bed and pulled his shirt up. His belly was now soft
where a few days ago it had been hard, it was hard to believe there had ever
been a child in there. He poked at the mound wondering how long it would be
before the weight would shift.
The boy had always been active. Even after his parents had banned him from
school he'd tried to at least get out for an hour a day. He'd tried all sorts
of sports but skating was the only one that he felt anything for. Even in a
street fight he didn't feel the same rush he felt on Ice.
His mind wondered back to the stranger and his offer. The boy doubted that the
stranger had been the one to set up the IV or stick the tears, and yet the boy
felt nothing about someone having touched him there. The concept of help was so
foreign that he had no notion of what to really feel, only basing his own
reactions on observations of others.
The boy supposed it would've been pretty stupid for trash to have feelings.
*
The boy woke with a start. His father banging on the door. He flinched away but
still went to open it. He wasn't surprised when he was shoved backwards and
even less surprised by the stomp the came down upon his chest.
His father was furious.
"Make me my fucking food you ungrateful bastard"
His father turned and stalked away as the boy scrambled to his feet.
His chest felt tight and he couldn't draw a proper breath. The boy wondered if
he would finally die.
Following his father down the stairs he glanced into the lounge room, his
mother was laying back against the cushions, a bottle of beer perched
precariously in her grip.
She was either passed out or completely fried.
Walking into the kitchen the boy tried to find something to make. There was no
lack of ingredients when it came to meals for his parents, it was also then he
realised he hadn't eaten in 2 days.
Opening the fridge he tried to play it safe. Meat and potatoes. He probably
couldn't get much safer.
His father wandered from the room and hear the thump as he fell into his
recliner. The boy took the opportunity to steal some food. An apple, a small
piece of cheese and a bit of bread. He scoffed it down while slicing the
potatoes. Placing them to boil he then placed the meat in the oven.
It was only now the boy remembered the sheets and clothes. Hanging out the
sheets he cursed himself for falling asleep.
The boy was more careful with the strangers clothes. They weren't anything
special really, sweats and an athletic T but they were still nicer than
anything else he owned.
*
The boy dished up 2 plates before washing the pans. His father and mother were
both pretty out of it but he still placed the plates in front of them before
retreating back to his room.
The boy let himself fall back to sleep. It was still early but he prayed his
father was too far gone to have his friends around.
*
Waking up the boy felt confusion. His father was screaming at someone, he knew
it wasn't his mother as she would have been screaming back just as loud.
With his heart pounding the boy pulled on the clothes the stranger had given
him before kicking the chair away and opening the door.
Coming down the stairs he realised he knew the voice and was confused. The
stranger had given him 2 days, so didn't that mean tomorrow?
The boy didn't flinch as his father shoved him back away from the door. The
stranger said nothing instead he reached into his pocket and pulled something
out. The boy couldn't see what it was but it silenced his father.
"Come with me, you're time is up"
The boy expected his father to stop the stranger but his eyes never left what
was in his hands.
The boy only saw it for a second before realising what had happened. His father
had sold him to this stranger for drugs.
***** 4 *****
Sitting in the car the boy said nothing. He wasn't surprised his father had
sold him.
The boy felt out of place in the car, he was sure it must have cost more than
his parents shot up in a year, combined.
Leaning back into the cold leather seat he enjoyed the sensation against his
feverish skin. The boys head was throbbing and it still hurt to breath. He
couldn't help but wonder what the would do if he died right here.
They drove in silence.
*
The stranger shook him awake when they reached his house. The word house seemed
like an understatement given its size and sprawling nature. It was clear the
stranger was of elite society.
The boy stumbled as he exited the car, he forced his throbbing body to move
knowing he'd receive no help or sympathy.
He followed the stranger inside. One moment he'd been standing and the next the
boy was landing hard on his arse. He let out an involuntary cry in pain.
It took the boy a long moment to realise he'd been knocked down by a large
brown poodle, half patting and half pushing the mutt off he climbed back to his
feet.
"Makkachin leave it alone, you don't know where it's been"
It. The boy was now an it. He supposed it was a step up from trash.
"Yakov take him away"
The boy hadn't noticed the older man standing in the shadows, he flinched when
he reached out and took him by the arm. He said nothing to the stranger as he
lead the boy away.
*
The boy was in the same unknown room again. The man known as Yakov ordered him
to strip naked. The boy did as he was told.
He could see the disgust on the mans face but didn't flinch away from his touch
this time. Whatever would happen would happen.
"Arm"
Holding out his arm Yakov moved closer, the boy closed his eyes. He felt the
prick of the needle sliding in, he didn't expect it to slide out again. But it
did.
"Lay on the bed, face down"
Moving past Yakov then boy climbed onto the bed.
"Spread your legs"
The boy again did as he was told.
The boy heard the snapping of plastic but kept his eyes closed. He doubted this
Yakov person was interested in his body.
The boy flinched as Yakov gentle started to probe his damaged arse.
"You gave birth. What happened to the baby"
The boy felt nothing and answered the question with no emotion in his voice
"It's dead, I threw it off the bridge"
He heard Yakov let out a "tch", the boy didn't care. What's done was done.
"Did you carry to full term?"
"6 months"
Again another "tch"
The boy ignored the feeling as his wounds were wiped over, the stinging
sensation and smell lead him to believe it was rubbing alcohol.
Whatever the boy had been injected with had finally started to kick in, the
pain started to subside.
"Roll over"
Obeying the body rolled onto his back.
Yakov started with his eyes, the light of the mini torch burned.
"Do you wear glasses"
"No, why wasted good money you could shoot up instead"
Yakov pulled away and the boy heard the scribbling of pen on paper.
The boy lay there as Yakov examined the rest of him.
"No obvious signs of stds but your blood panels will tell us more"
The boy waited to feel the needles prick again but first Yakov had him sit up.
The boy sat there while Yakov bandaged his ribs. He listened as the man
muttered about possible broken ribs. The boy felt nothing.
Laying back down it was now Yakov took his blood samples.
"I'll have some food brought for you but I want you stay in bed this time.
Victor was foolish to let you leave before and now you have an infection"
Yakov seemed annoyed at this Victor person. The boy figured this must be the
strangers name.
Victor.
It suited the stranger almost perfectly.
Yakov didn't wait for a reply and the boy was left alone.
*
The boy hadn't expected Victor to be the one to bring him food. The stranger
seemed more confused about it than he did.
But still he placed the plate in the boys lap.
The boy waited until it became clear this Victor person wouldn't leave until he
started.
The boy forced himself to eat slowly. The food was good but he didn't know what
he'd call it. Some kind of crumbed pork served over noodles with egg.
The boy couldn't remember the last real meal he'd eaten.
Victor took the bowl from him when he was done.
"I'll be busy starting tomorrow so talk to Yakov if you want something"
The boy nodded.
Victor had asked him hear to train, whatever that meant, he'd made it obvious
he thought of the boy as a pet project, the boy wondered if that's why he
hadn't asked him name.
Or maybe he already knew.
It seemed to the boy the more money you had the more power. Victor had already
found where he lived and had handed the drugs to his father like it was
nothing. It stood to reason Victor already knew the boys name.
*
Yakov came back soon after. He made the boy take deep breaths as he listened to
his chest. The boy couldn't tell if he was frowning or not.
"Your blood panels came back. I'll be starting you on a course antibiotics and
tonight I'll hook you up to another IV. You are also negative for the most
common STIs and blood born diseases you would expect from one exposed to dirty
needles"
The boy kind of liked Yakov. At least he knew where he stood with him. He lay
still as Yakov inserted the needle into his arm but couldn't watch him inject
whatever it was into the IV line.
"I've also given you something to help you sleep"
With that Yakov left. Soon the boy felt his eyes grow heavy.
***** 5 *****
The boy was bored.
Not once in the last week had he seen Victor.
The boy had been confused at first but Yakov had mentioned Victor was too busy
to waste time on him.
Instead the boy had been stuck in bed. It seemed that Victors form of training
for him was watching Victor perform on a loop.
The boy couldn't help but feel jealous the way Victor moved was incredible.
The boy had though he'd left his emotions behind but he'd found himself sitting
in the dark watching Victor skate with tears down his face. The boy supposed it
went to prove how broken he was.
He didn't cry over the dead child, he didn't cry over being sold and he didn't
cry when the men had taken him over and over. Yet watching a man skate... tears
fell free.
*
Yakov checked on him everyday. The boy hated being an inconvenience but Yakov
wouldn't allow him to even bathe himself.
The boy had woken to yelling this morning. In that instance he was home again,
the boy had scrambled from the bed before he'd realised he wasn't at home. The
yelling wasn't his father and he wasn't in trouble.
Sinking back into bed the boy pulled the covers over his head. This had nothing
to do with him.
Victor was yelling at someone called Chris. It took the boy a minute to realise
it was Chris's fault he'd ended up here. The boy smirked. This Chris person
deserved what he'd got.
The yelling got closer and louder and boy froze. It sounded like they were just
outside the door. The boy held his breath waiting for the door to open but it
never did.
Yakovs voice joined mix and the boy felt relief.
The relief was short lived as the door burst open and blanket was torn from the
bed.
The boy shrunk back but relaxed when he realised it was Yakov holding his arm.
He let himself be dragged past the staring teens.
"I'm taking him"
Victor said nothing and the Chris person looked confused.
*
The boy was no standing in the shopping centre. Apparently taking him had meant
taking him shopping. The boy hated shopping. The fakeness of the sales staff
and displays. The happy smiling faces. It disgusted him and reminded him he was
nothing but trash.
The boy felt guilty that Yakov was playing babysitter but he'd been told Victor
intended to spend more time with his new toy which, meant it had to be up to
standard.
The boy kept his mouth shut and followed Yakov, he allowed the man to chose
everything for him.
First he'd been taken to an optometrist, where it was confirmed that the boy
indeed needed glasses.
The boy hated the attention but he was Victors property now. He had no right to
object to Victors wants.
Yakov next insisted he had his hair cut. The boy had never had a proper haircut
in his life, instead he'd cut it back himself not caring if it was butchered.
The boy had never cared about his appearance before.
The woman hairdresser had asked him questions but he'd left it to Yakov to
explain the style. Her gentle nature and touches had left him feeling sick. He
still didn't understand this human kindness, and was sure he never would.
The boy almost didn't recognise himself as he squinted in the mirror. If he
wasn't trash he might have even thought he had some form of boyish
attractiveness.
The last stop was clothes shopping. Yakov asked him his sizes but the boy
didn't know. Most of the clothes he had were second hand, even his shoes. Yakov
seemed to be finally growing impatient and the boy felt even more guilt.
Yakov left him sitting on the store bench. He appeared to be in conversation
with a sales person. Once again he was forced to speak to a kind woman. She
gave him a heap of different sizes to try and sent him to changing room.
The boy felt sick looking at the prices. Even the resell would keep his parents
drugged up for days. The boy couldn't understand how people paid so much for
clothes.
Trying in different sizes the boy finally found clothes that fitted. He'd
wanted to go for the looser size but remembered how sharply Victor dressed.
Yakov had gone past impatient when the boy finally walked out, he tried to
ignore the scowl. Handing the clothes that fitted to him he passed the others
back to the young woman.
She smiled and the boy felt sick. He wanted to go already. Nice people were
just too suspicious.
The boy was then sent to find shoes. There wasn't anything he actually liked
but still chose a paid of two toned grey sneakers. Yakov looked at him
expectantly. The boy didn't know what was expected.
Yakov didn't push the matter and the boy didn't speak.
Walking back to the car they passed a baby store. The boy didn't even realise
his steps had slowed. Nor had he realised his hand had come to rest upon his
belly. But the boy didn't stop and the moment was over before he knew it even
happened. But Yakov had still seen it.
*
Arriving home the boy didn't know what to do. He was given the bags of clothes
and Yakov had left. He supposed that meant he was supposed to put them away.
Laying the bags on the bed the boy face planted next to them. Today had been
exhausting. He didn't understand what had happened. Why would someone so
socially elite need a trashy toy.
The boy closed his eyes and relaxed into the bed.
*
When the boy awoke Victor was sitting on the bed, his nose buried behind some
book. The boy had left school but he could read and write well enough, even so
he had no idea what the characters on the cover said.
Maybe his parents were right and the boy was stupid.
Victor lowered the book and stared down at him. For the first time the boy
noticed his blue eyes. He wondered how much clearer he'd be able to see them
when he had his glasses.
Victor didn't speak, instead he stared with the same cool look, the boy had
come to know so well.
Closing his eyes the boy buried his face against the soft blanket. He didn't
know what he was supposed to do in a situation like this.
The boy jumped as Victor laid his hand on his head. He didn't understand the
warmth he felt from the touch. Angry at himself he slapped Victors hand away,
he couldn't help but flinch at the action. This man owned him, if it had been
anyone else touching him he'd be beaten for showing such nerve.
Victor didn't say anything as he stood, instead he paused when he reached the
door
"Don't forget you mean nothing here. I told you you are merely a curiosity to
pass my time. Don't forget your place"
With that he stepped out, closing the door as he went.
The boy lay there shaking. Why couldn't this man be like every other one.
Simply fuck him and toss him aside. He scolded himself. He wasn't human, he
didn't deserve such a limit as free will.
*
Victor came for him early the next morning and the boy was confused.
He forced the boy to shower, holding the door closed until he deemed the boy
was clean enough. As the boy dried himself, Victor chose his clothes.
The boy wasn't even given breakfast before Victor marched him out to the car.
Yakov was already in the drivers seat. The boy kept his mouth closed and
climbed in the back.
The drive was silent and the boy was confused when they arrived at the ice
rink. He hadn't returned since the day he'd collapsed.
*
Walking in Yakov explained the rink was rented for the day at Victors request.
Victor walked away leaving the two alone.
Yakov waited until they were in the locker room before presenting the boy with
a box. The boy was clueless as he took it.
Black skates.
The boy was shocked. This is what Victor wanted from him?
Yakov laced the skates for him and the boy tried to contain his enthusiasm.
Yakov went to help him but the boy brushed off his help determined to do this
himself.
*
Victor was already skating when the reached the rink. Yakov immediately started
yelling.
Taking off the skate guards the boy stepped onto the ice. Victor seemed to have
come rink side to talk to whatever Yakov was yelling about.
The boy pushed them out of his mind. His body would finally move without pain,
nothing like the feeling he had last time.
The boy skated his small routine as he processed all that had happened. Part of
him still expected to wake up, bloodied in the alley.
A long forgotten thought pushed its way into his mind.
The first time the boy had woken in an alley had no memory of how he got there.
His face had been bloodied and his body covered in semen and piss. The only
thing that had given him any sort of clue was the fresh needle marks in his
arms.
He'd since woken up in an alley one other time. That time he'd been trying to
miscarried and woken up covered in his own vomit. Given his life he supposed it
was unusual it hadn't happened more often.
He stumbled slightly but put his hand out to stop the fall. The coldness of the
ice seeped into his fingertips. But the boy didn't care. It told him he was
still alive.
Victor yelled out something and the boy stopped. He paused for a moment
realising he was wanted. Skating over he stared down at his feet. He felt like
he was about to be lectured.
Yakov was looking at him like he was some kind of freak and the boy bit his
lip.
Victor wasted no time he wanted the boy to follow his lead. Skating over to the
centre the boy followed him feeling self conscious.
He'd seen Victor skate. He knew how perfect his form was.
He skated following Victor, Victor would call his jumps just before he did them
and the boy was supposed copy.
He'd learnt the names from the videos but he still wasn't confident. Still the
boy did his best, he loved the feel of landing the jumps. It was pure
adrenaline, even drugs didn't come close.
Victor slowed and skated toward Yakov.
"See what I mean! Isn't he interesting?"
Yakov grunted
"He had poor form, no awareness of how to stand"
Victor laughed
"The day I met him he pulled off a triple flip!"
Yakov laughed clearly not believing
"I treated him that day, there's no way someone in that condition could even
more"
The boy felt his face grow red. He hated liars and hated the fact Victor was
being labelled as one.
"It's true. He made a deal, if I could jump he wouldn't force me to go to
hospital"
Yakov shook his head
"Victor... you saw the mess that boy was in. You should have just sent him"
"But Yakov look how interesting he is. Don't you think he's perfect to break
the monotony"
The boy felt his face grow redder, never in his life had the word perfect been
connected to him in anyway.
"Kid go skate that all over again. Do that and I'll train you myself"
Victor stood there smiling and the boys heart leapt. He didn't understand why
he wanted Victors approval so badly but still he did what he was told.
He tried his hardest to remember everything and his strides never faultered.
The boy was panting hard as he skated back over. Victors face was back to the
same coolness as before. He didn't say anything and the boy wondered if he'd
messed up.
"You'll be training tomorrow. When you aren't skating you'll be learning
ballet"
The boy didn't care for ballet but his heart leapt at the chance to skate.
*
Yakov was true to his word. The boy was confused at first as it seemed that
Yakov was both Victors personal physician and coach.
His mornings involved building physical strength, ballet to increase
flexibility and body awareness and finally skating.
He did everything as he was told. He would practice over and over until his
feet would bleed. Yakov would yell at him but he still trained until he
dropped.
Never in his life had he felt so happy. He knew he was little more than a toy
but the boy didn't care. Victor and Yakov seemed to have no want to fuck him,
and he wasn't beaten daily.
He still feared that the other foot would fall and he'd be crushed underneath.
He hadn't heard anything from his parent, not that he had expected too and he'd
finally shifted the baby weight he'd gained.
He almost felt like he was nearly human. It was only his mind that he held the
truth.
*
It was three days later when the boy was sitting eating breakfast that he truly
felt anything.
Every morning Yakov had him reading the newspaper to improve his literacy.
Yakov had made him read it first in Japanese and then again in English.
The article was small for a murder homicide. He had already started reading
before he looked at the photos. His stomach rolled. Photos of his parents.
The boys parents were both dead. He shoved away from the table taking the paper
with him. Victor and Yakov said nothing, the boy supposed they already knew.
Angrily he threw himself down on his bed. Eyes scanning the article again.
His mother had stabbed his father before cutting her own throat. His thoughts
wondered to his sister. He wondered if she would try and find him now. They may
be family but that didn't mean he wanted to see her. She'd lied.
The boy tried to understand what he was feeling. If he was honest he had
expected them to die from an overdose or unpaid drug debts. It seemed to
normal, a death that would happen in a normal family.
He didn't know why he was so angry. Was it because he couldn't kill them
himself or was it anger at himself for not being there.
The boy didn't notice the tears that started to fall.
***** 6 *****
The boys chest tightened. This wasn't the performance he was used to, but it
wasn't like he wasn't used to all eyes in the room being on him.
Still he struggled to take air into his pained chest.
Sex was easy, with sex he knew what was expected and what to expect, but this
was not sex.
Standing next to Victor he tried to focus but he could feel their hands upon
his skin and bile burnt his throat.
The boy stepped onto the ice. He knew he couldn't disappoint Victor. He tried
to ignore the polite clapping. He wanted to run. Never in his life did he think
that sex would have been easier than this moment.
*
Victor had decided that after months of training it was time to show off his
new toy.
In the time he'd been living in Victors house he found he still didn't
understand the man.
The boy had done everything he was told but Victor still didn't smile like he
had that day at the rink. He didn't know what else he could do.
When he heard his name he'd jumped. It had been months since he'd last heard
"Katsuki Yuri". He wondered if that was who he really was.
The boy waited for the music to start. He had no idea the name of the piece
only what he was expected to do.
He still skated trying to be confident but he felt like everyone knew that he
was trash. The boy still moved his body, blocking the world out. This would be
easier if it was sex.
*
Skating from the ice the boy avoided Victor and Victor ignored him. The boy
felt dejected. What would happen now his toy had failed to perform.
Sliding the guards back on the boy left. He didn't want any of this. Changing
into his sneakers he left the rink and didn't looked back.
The boy walked and walked with. I destination in mind. He had no idea how long
he walked only that his legs were burning, nearly as bad as his chest.
The boy slowed his pace, he realised he knew where he was. He'd walked out to
the bridge again.
Stepping over the railing the boy stared down at swirling water. It seemed so
different from that night. The boys hands left the railing and ventured to his
belly. If he hadn't miscarried he would now be full term. He wondered what the
child would have looked like and if he would have found a way to love it.
One thing he had found especially since his parents deaths is that the emotions
he thought thrown away had slowly began to resurface.
The boy hated feeling. He missed the days when everything was black and white
and he knew what was expected. The unknown scared him.
He looked down at the swirling water. It would be so easy to step off. No one
would ever know.
He closed his eyes and took a step, only he didn't fall. He struggled against
the person who now help him around the waist. He screamed for release.
"Stop"
The boys blood ran cold. He knew that voice.
Victor pulled him back over the railing and threw him to ground.
He'd very thought Victor could be like this. His voice was beyond its usual
coolness, it bored on icy.
The boy let his body go limp, there was no point fighting. He was only alive to
satisfy this mans whims.
Victor released his arms, and dragged him up by the back of his shirt. The boy
enjoyed the choking pain as the shirt collar cut in against his neck.
Victor shoved him forward and he walked automatically to the Victors car. He
didn't understand why Victor was even here. He should have been at the rink
with his friends.
Opening the door Victor shoved him into the car and the boy secretly enjoyed
the roughness. He wondered what Victor would think to know how twisted he was.
Victor didn't talk as he drove and the boy didn't try either. The silence was
suffocating. He regretted not stepping sooner.
*
Yakov was waiting when they finally arrived home. He called out to Victor and
the boy took the chance to slip inside.
He didn't want to speak, he didn't want to deal. He just wanted to close his
eyes and stop existing.
But still his moment was disturbed by Victor all but busting down the door. The
boy flew off the bed before he'd even realised. He was now in the corner of the
room curled up with his knees to chest.
Victor walked across and sat down on the boys bed. He sighed and fell back,
hands coming up to scrub his face.
The boy felt guilt. It would be easier if Victor would just yell, even being
bashed by him would hurt less than that sigh. He hated his emotions and wanted
them to fade away again.
*
The boy didn't know how long until Victor finally spoke.
"Yuri why did you leave...?"
The boys head shot up. He hadn't heard Victor say his name before, he hated the
way it made him feel.
"I failed to live up to your expectations. I failed your experiment so that
means there's no place for me anymore"
Victor sat back up, this time he bent forward resting his head on his hands.
"I never said you failed, I never said you failed"
Yuri didn't know what say. He was sure he'd failed.
Silence fell between them again.
"Do you know why I took you in in the first place?"
"You said you were bored and being trash I had no right to refuse"
He didn't care if his words hurt. It was the truth. A truth he'd never move
pass.
"Yuri you had the right to refuse at any time"
"No you brought me. I saw the drugs you gave my father. Since that moment I've
belonged to you"
Victor moved across the room and sat down in front of Yuri. The boy flinched
away.
"It's true I took you in on a whim. I wanted so see if I could polish you into
a diamond and you have met every expectation. It's true I brought you from your
father, but that's because I knew what he'd done to you"
The boy glared.
"You know nothing. I never asked for your pity"
Victor sighed again
"It was an open secret at the rink. Everyone knew the boy who'd stopped going
to school, who parents screamed and fought when they weren't shooting up"
The boys stomach rolled and he bit down on his lip. He felt embarrassed. All
those people laughing at him behind his back and he'd missed it all. He'd
always thought he was good at knowing what people were saying behind his back.
He knew nothing.
"I took you in knowing you were being abused. I lied and told you it was a game
and you meant nothing but you are a kid. No kid deserves that"
Victor reached out and took Yuri's hand. The boy didn't realise he'd started
crying again.
He didn't understand this 180 Victor was pulling. Why couldn't he just be cold.
"You have a talent for skating. It would have been a shame to waste it. The way
you skate it's like your body is making the music"
The boy pushed Victors hand away. He was a fool.
"Victor that's where you are wrong. I am trash... you should have let me jump"
A loud crack rang out as Victor slapped his face. Yuri had succeeded in his
goal of angering him.
Victor pulled him up before shoving him against the wall
"Stop fucking with me!"
Victor shoved him over to the bed and Yuri thought that this was finally it.
Victor was showing his true colours.
Only Victor did nothing. He left him there and stalked over to the door.
"Stop pitying yourself"
He slammed the door as he left.
Yuri felt confused over what had just happened. Victors emotion ran like a
broken shower, cold than hot and no in between. He felt disgusted at himself
and climbed under the blankets.
He hated himself that Victor was so mad at him.
***** 7 *****
Yuri didn't know what to do. It had long since fallen dark.
He rolled over in bed and wonders what he should do. First the first time in a
long time he craved the burn that alcohol could only give.
Dressing in dark clothes he slipped from the house.
He didn't know where he was going but if he headed to town, he was sure to find
someone who swap sex for alcohol. They always did.
The boy headed for a corner he knew was good for the passing crowd. It was
nestled between two bars and all the drunken pervs knew about it.
It didn't take long before he was propositioned. The man was disgusting and
stank from weed and cheap beer. But it didn't matter as long as he gave him
what he wanted.
Taking the mans hand he lead him down behind the dumpsters, this wouldn't last
long, that was if the man could even get it up to begin with.
The boy danced and flirted telling him what he knew he wanted to hear. The man
was practically putty is his hands and stupidly passed his wallet over. He only
took what would pay for what he wanted.
Shoving the wallet back into the mans jeans he tugged suggestively, the mans
drunken hands tugged at his belt, it took him a few tries to get it undone.
Yuri turned around and pulled his own pants down, sticking his arse out. His
skin crawled as the mans hands squeezed at his butt, but he pushed it aside. It
was just sex, an easy transaction where they would both get what they wanted.
"Condom..."
Yuri moaned and pushed back harder. He heard the man curse and moved back for a
second. Yuri shook his arse as the man slipped the condom on.
He pushed in hard and Yuri's eyes rolled. He was surprised to realise he'd
missed the sensation and immediately disgust filled his body. The mans harsh
pants made him want to scream.
In a few minutes it was over.
The man slid out before dropping the spent condom next to them. He stumbled
slightly as he tried to pull his jeans up. Yuri stood not moving until he heard
the steps fade.
Pulling his pants up he soon found himself on his knees. His body shook as he
threw up pitifully.
He hated himself. Pulling himself up he went to his old haunt. They'd sold to
him for years.
Walking in he headed straight for whisky. The man who served him asked no
questions. He hadn't seen him before but it didn't matter he asked no
questions.
*
He couldn't go home. He couldn't go back to his parents. He had no where to go
or anyone who cared.
He'd pushed Victor away and could imagine his disgust if he knew he'd sold
himself for a bottle of whisky.
He didn't understand the guilt and disgust he'd felt. He still came, the
stranger came and he got what he'd wanted. How was this that much different
from before.
So the boy walked.
He hadn't meant to end up at the bridge again and he scolded himself. He should
really find a new spot.
Stepping over the railing he sat down on the thin edge.
The first mouthful burnt and he welcome it.
*
The boy drank in silence as he watched the clouds. Everything was so fucked up.
It all came back to that night in the alley. If only he'd died with his baby.
*
Yuri didn't know how long he sat there. He'd given up drinking and was just
staring at the sky. He didn't even notice the headlights that were directed at
his unmoving form.
His hand reached for the bottle but found it gone, he frowned. The voice that
cut through the darkness caused him to jump.
"Having fun?"
Victor was once again tracked him down to here. Yuri wasn't surprised.
He felt Victors hands slip under his armpits and himself being pulled up.
He didn't resist. What was the point.
Victor held the bottle out over the edge and let it go. In that moment it
wasn't the bottle but his dead child. He let out a howl. And tears started to
fall.
He burnt with shame and guilt.
Victor was shaking him but he couldn't calm down. The alcohol had shattered the
last of his walls and the emotions he'd bricked away crashed down, drowning him
in guilt and disgust.
Victor took him by the shirt and stared into his eyes. The boy didn't think. He
pushed forward kissing Victors lips. They were softer and warmer than he could
even imagine.
But as he felt Victor tense he realised he'd fucked up yet again. He shoved
hard against Victor and staggered to his feet.
The boy ran.
Trash had no right to fall for an elite.
He heard Victor running behind him and pushed on harder. His throat was burning
and his vision blurred from tears.
Victor was at the disadvantage and the boy knew it. Ducking behind the half
broken wooden fence he heard Victors steps stop. He tried to hold his breath
until he heard Victor begin to walk away.
Slipping out Yuri realised he was close to his old house. Calming his breathing
he walked the familiar steps that would have once led him home.
*
The yard was over run with weeds and rubbish, even the for sale sign had
started to fall apart.
He stared up at house wondering if there had been a time he'd ever been truly
happy there.
He hated the place but now it sat empty and dark, no familiar light spilling
from the lounge room.
He sat down on the verge. His body heaved and the alcohol came back up.
Why couldn't Victor leave him alone and why had he been so stupid as to kiss
him.
He didn't deserve this life. He didn't deserve the kindness shown to him. Trash
will always be trash.
He sat there staring at the mess he'd made.
He heard the car pull up, of course Victor would have found him. It wasn't
hard. He said nothing as he stood and walked to the car.
He opened the door and slipped into the car. Victor drove and Yuri closed his
eyes.
***** 8 *****
Chapter Notes
     Sorry if the pace is a little iffy at the moment....
     Trying to increase the story so I don't bore you all to death...
     You may have notice the boy only uses his name when his existence is
     acknowledged by it... he hated himself so badly he doesn't see the
     point of being human.
The boy slept the drive away.
He didn't even stir when Victor tried to wake him. The boy didn't awaken when
Victor lifted him from the car, no when he carried him inside and down to his
room.
*
The boys body throbbing when he awoke. His head was pounding and so was his
heart.
He's messed up so badly.
He couldn't remember getting home or changing for bed. But he still remembered
the events of last night.
Burning with shame Yuri retreated under the blankets. Why had he fallen for a
man so far out of his league.
*
Victor came in later but Yuri still refused to emerge from the blankets.
His tone was cold as he asked the boy how he'd got the money for the alcohol.
"I sold myself"
The boy held back the emotions he felt.
It was easier not to feel. He hated these emotions.
Victor let out a sigh and pulled back the blankets. The boy shrunk away.
"You don't need to sell yourself anymore. I thought you'd moved past this"
The boy wanted to scream he hated this cold tone.
"Did you enjoy yourself at least"
The boy bit his lips as tears started to form.
He knew he should have known better. But he was trash.
The boy wiped angrily at his eyes. What was he expected to say.
"I'm leaving next week for a competition, it works in well. Come Monday you
will be going back to school"
Yuri didn't know what to say. It had been well over 2 years since he'd last
been. He said nothing.
"Yakov will talk to you about it. I don't want to see you until I return"
Victors words felt like ice and the boys skin prickled from the coldness.
He said nothing.
Victor left.
*
The boy didn't know what to say. Yakov had organised it all.
Now the boy stood in front of the 2 story building, with its shaped gardens and
sharp features, the boy knew already he didn't belong.
But still the boy step forward.
He could hear the whispers of the students as he passed by. He felt like the
stench of trash hung off and that he was contaminating their precious world.
Yet he still walked.
The boy tried to walk with confidence but found himself staring at his feet. He
wondered how many of them would try to start fights, he knew he could take them
but Victor was already mad.
He'd already left with Yakov this morning. The boy had been given money and
told to take a taxi. Instead the boy had walked.
Straightening his shoulders he readjusted his back before knocking on the
principals door. It was a long moment before he was finally granted entry.
The boys mood fell. It was clear the principal was one of those upbeat
everything's roses kind of people. Still he gritted his teeth and sat.
The meeting was long and the boy found himself regularly zoning out. He had no
idea what was expected of him here.
The boy was expected to spend the day testing ahead of placement tomorrow. He
felt stupid and sure he would fail, but he wanted to please Victor.
The principal said something about his enrolment in the schools advanced ice
skating program but the boy knew nothing of that. Yakov hadn't told him.
When the principal enquired the nature of his relationship with Victor the boy
didn't know what to say. He lied, stating Victor was a family friend. He didn't
know what the principal would say to know that boy was Victors property.
*
The questions were hard but the boy felt he did alright given his extended
absence. Yakov had taught him much of what was on there and something's he
remembered from school.
He was still exhausted by the end of the day almost tempted to call a taxi, but
he didn't. He pushed himself to walk.
The boy from figured from home to school was about 5kms but he still walked it.
Grateful his stamina had increased.
Yakov had given him a phone and Victor had preloaded the music to his routines.
He didn't know why he needed a phone but hadn't argued.
*
The house was silent when the boy walked in. He didn't know how long it would
be just him and Makkachin. It felt like his was intruding. He hated it.
The boy didn't eat that night. Instead he showered and fed Makkachin. With
Victor gone he let Makkachin sleep on his bed.
*
The boy left earlier that morning. He stopped to buy breakfast, taking his time
to eat as he walked.
This life didn't suit him. He itched like he could feel the cage walls closing
in.
6 months he'd known Victor and the teen was still a mystery. He knew he was a
competitive skater but nothing about his past. In the beginning it hadn't
mattered but now he wanted to know all there was.
*
Once again the boy ignored the stares as he walked to the principals office
again. He was already tired from this shit.
He hated the stupid principal and the schools stupid uniform. He hated how
everyone was forced to look the same, but most of all he hated not knowing what
was expected of him.
The boy was to be placed in the year below what he was supposed to be in. He
supposed that wasn't too bad. If no one asked his age they wouldn't be any
wiser.
The principal led him down the corridor to his new class. The boy hated how all
eyes were on him and everyone fell silent.
The teacher introduced him and told him to take a seat at the back.
Some idiot tried to be smart and trip him but he smoothly stepped over his
outstretched foot. He wasn't rising to the bait.
*
The afternoon was set aside for skating. By the boys count there were 7 boys
and 4 girls.
All eyes were on him as he skated onto the ice. They made no attempt to hide
their disgust and the boy made no attempt to speak to them. Instead the boy
skated around in circles warming up like Victor had taught him.
A clap sounded out and the boy skated over like everyone else. He realised he
knew the man standing in front of him. It was Victors friend Chris. The boy
sighed. So much for enjoying this.
Chris immediately singled him out, repeating his name over and over in a
teasing tone.
Yuri resisted the urge to film it to show Victor. He wouldn't fall to this man
childish level.
It was him against all of them.
He wondered if Chris would be the usual instructor, he hardly seemed in the
same league as Victor.
"Yuuuuuri!!! Show us what Victor taught you..."
The boys face reddened he could hear the whispers
"Thee Victor?"
"Someone like him knows Victor"
He felt revolted.
Skating over he stood in the middle of the rink. The song that came on was one
of Victors favourite and the boy sighed with relief.
As the music flowed the boy let his body move as Victor had taught. He was
confident in his jumped and held nothing back.
When he was done none of them said anything for a long time. So the boy left.
Yakov and Victor could take this school and stick it.
*
He'd had enough.
He felt bad about leaving Makkachin and he had no idea where he'd go but he'd
had enough.
6 months was a fair time.
Angrily he stuffed all the clothes he could into his training bag. Victor and
Yakov could deal with the rest.
He scooped in extra food for Makkachin and left bag open on the floor. He also
topped up the poodles water bowl. It wasn't Makkachin fault he was a shit
person.
The last thing boy packet were a foil pack of pills. They'd magically arrived a
few days after the alley incident. The boy already knew the brand, the pills
were an oral contraceptive to be taken after the incident, a sort of morning
after pill.
If the boy was to survive he would need money, to make money he'd sell himself.
Pulling the door closed behind him he bit back his tears. It seemed he had been
enjoying himself more than he thought.
*
The boy wandered into town. He didn't have anywhere in particular in mind, as
long as he could find some to pay for his time.
In the end the boy wound up back at the same dirty alley between the same cheap
pubs.
He sat and waited.
Foot traffic was slow and the boy was going to call it a night but one man came
up to him. The boy flirted and played his role perfectly. He knew what to say,
what to do and it wasn't long before he'd let himself be led away.
The man was staying in a hotel which made things easier. He couldn't be accused
of theft there was nothing to steal.
He didn't want to play gentle and anything went.
He left his face be pushed into the mattress, he let than do as he please. He
told himself he wanted this. This was the way thing should be.
The boy smiled.
The man fucked him with his fingers and the boy bit back the pain. He could
feel himself growing hard and wanted the man to hurry up already.
Pulling his fingers out the man pushed into him. The boys eyes rolled back and
his mouth hung open.
The mans hand slid up and he was pulled back up by his throat. The boy
shivered. The pain meant he was already close.
He enjoyed the way the man squeezed, it was all too easy just a little more
pressure and that could mean the end.
The mans other hand slid down and jerked the boy roughly in time with his
desperate thrusts. The boy spilt over the mans hand with a loud groan.
The man came straight after.
The boy sank down but the man hadn't had enough.
He lay there panting as the man pushed in again. This time the boy was flipped
over, he played his role and wrapped his legs around the mans waist. He ignored
the thoughts swirling around in his head and gave into the pleasure offered.
*
It was early morning by the time the man finally let him sleep.
The boy had already taken payment and stashed it under the mattress when the
man had been showering. Even if the man wanted to take the money back there was
no way he'd know where it was stashed.
The boy fell asleep and the man we gone when awoke.
$200 for one night. It was more than enough to get the boy out of the city.
*
The boys hips stung but he ignored it. He'd asked for the pain.
The boy stopped to buy water and downed a contraceptive. Just because he'd
asked the man to use a condom didn't mean it had actually happened.
The boy tried to remember what he'd done to fill his days before Victor.
He couldn't return to the ice rink, they knew him there.
His parents were gone and he had no friends.
He wondered where his sister was.
He'd left his phone at Victors. Desperate to cut all ties. He wouldn't be able
to if there was a way Victor could track him down.
No it was better to leave the town before Victor even knew he was gone.
*
The woman wouldn't sell him a long distance ticket without ID. She wouldn't
listen to him that he had none.
In the end the boy had been forced to leave before she called security.
He was still cursing her when he bumped into a stranger. Instantly the older
male snapped and boy found himself pushed back against the wall. He hadn't
meant to moan nor had he meant to grow hard, but the boy couldn't help it.
The man was clearly disgusted and threw him to the ground. A heavy foot kicked
against his belly and boy couldn't catch his breath.
He realised he missed this pain.
He didn't fight back.
Security pulled the man away from the bleeding boy. He allowed himself to be
helped up but they wouldn't let him leave.
He was forced to wait until the police arrived. They accused him of being
intentionally uncooperative and he was taken down to the nearest station.
*
He was sitting in the room alone. He knew what they thought. Here was trash
with a bag of nice clothes, $200 in cash and no phone or ID.
They wanted the contact details for his guardian but the boy couldn't tell them
even if he had wanted. He had no idea where Victor was. Instead he gave his
sisters name. After all she was a blood relative and he doubted the police
would even find her.
They left him in the room alone and the boy sighed. It had all been a simple
accident and now he was being treated like he was at fault.
Another officer came in and he was once again asked to go over the details of
what happened. This one at least listened and promised to have his things
returned. He kept his word and returned shortly with the boys bag. The first
thing he did was check the cash was still there.
The officer tried to be nice but the boy just wanted to leave. He'd already
told them he didn't want to press charges but they wouldn't let him go with a
legal guardian.
He played on the cops kindness, he played up troubled teen routine who's
parents were dead and his sister long gone. He told the officer the person he'd
been staying with was currently overseas for work so there was no one to
contact. He could see he had the officer eating out of his palm.
The officer was sympathetic and he'd been sure he was going to get out soon.
Until the previous officers returned.
They'd located his sister but his sister told them to let Victor deal with it.
The boy saw red. Victor had his fucking nose in every aspect of his life. He
even knew how to contact his sister. He tried to explain Victor was overseas
but they wouldn't listen.
This whole situation was going no where fast.
All he'd wanted to do was leave in peace. Instead he was being interrogated.
*
In the end they held the boy all day. He was fucking furious. The younger
officer had gone out of his way to help. He'd even looked up Victors social
media, indeed confirming he was away. It was only then that they released him
and the young officer drove him home.
The boy stood on the steps watching the officer leave. The man was nice and the
boy hoped they'd never meet again.
He waited until the car was out of sight before walking back down the steps.
This time he wouldn't fuck up and get caught.
***** 9 *****
The boy was at the bridge again, only this time he was under it with some mans
mouth around his dick. He didn't care what the man wanted to as long he was
getting paid.
He had to admit the man had good technique and brought him to the edge almost
embarrassingly fast, but he'd pulled off before the boy could cum.
Rough hands spun him round and he winced as his erection was forced against the
concrete.
He let himself be opened by unsteady fingers, which were soon replaced.
The man didn't last long and boy felt cash pushed into his shirt. With a few
jerks the boy finished himself off before pulling up his pants. The man was
already walking away.
The boy slipped the cash into the pile he'd been collecting the last few days.
He had more than enough now but it was such easy cash.
The boy had only thought of the bridge last night when the rain had made
sleeping in the alley impossible. It wasn't ideal, the underpass stank of piss
and vomit. But at least it was dry.
*
The boy had only been gone about 9 days. He wondered if Makkachin was ok, he
hoped Victor had returned purely for the big poodles sake.
Sitting down on the edge of the concrete the boy stared down at the litter
stuck along the wall.
He watched a piece of black fabric as it bobbed and weaved in the current. The
sun had faded it and mould had started to grow but he couldn't help but wonder
if it was part of his hoodie from the night.
He had tried to leave his emotions behind. He'd tried to leave them on the
doorstep of Victors house. It seemed he hadn't.
The boys body began to shake and he realised how alone he truly felt.
He realised how wrong he had been. He'd thrown back all attempts from those to
help him. Al because he'd been so scared.
He sobbed for his dead parents.
He sobbed for his dead child.
He sobbed for his gone sister.
He sobbed for himself. For his shame and disgust.
He had chosen this life. He'd lied that he liked it. He'd convinced himself
that his body knew better than his heart.
His heart was broken but his body wasn't.
"Yuri!"
The boy jumped. Victor had always found him when he'd needed him the most.
The boy pushed to his feet, he stumbled before rushing over to Victor. He
hugged him close and his body shook. He wanted to lie to himself and tell
himself he didn't love this man.
But the boy didn't lie.
Yuri's knees gave out but Victor held him preventing his fall. The boy tried to
straighten his legs but they wouldn't support his weight. Victor didn't seem to
care as he easily lifted the boy up.
He stopped slightly to grab Yuri's bag but said nothing.
Yuri said nothing either.
*
As Yakov drove Victor held Yuri in the back. Yuri's body still shook but his
sobs had grown silent.
When they reached the house Victor slid out before pulling Yuri out the car and
carrying him up the stairs. The boy was to exhausted to protest.
He allowed Victor to lay him out on the bed and strip down his clothes. Victors
face clouded and the boy closed his eyes.
He knew his body was dirty and bruised. Selling himself had come at that price.
The boy heard Yakov speaking but the words made no sense so he continued to lay
there.
Victor was saying something now but once again the words fell short of
comprehension.
*
When the boy awoke he found he'd been washed and his wounds tended to.
He slipped from the bed and staggered to his feet. The room spun. He waited for
the world to adjust and slipped his glasses on.
He walked out. He could hear people talking. He forced himself towards the
voices.
Victor and Chris were talking in the kitchen. Chris seemed annoyed but Victor
was just as icy as normal.
Makkachin came up and nudged the boys hand, he sank down burying his face in
the curled browned fur. When he'd been a child he'd always wanted a dog, he
supposed the poor thing would have died a miserable early death had his wish
been granted.
Standing up Makkachin whined and the talking stop. Victor stuck his head out
the kitchen and smiled his way.
The boys heart skipped a beat.
"Yuri come have breakfast"
*
Yuri tried to ignore the way Chris stared. Chris didn't hide his hatred, Yuri
wondered if he was jealous.
"I told your school you'd been home sick. You will be going back tomorrow"
Chris snickered and Victor shot him a glare that soon silenced any comments
that may have fallen from his mouth.
"Yakov took another blood sample while you were sleeping, but he still wants
you to take antibiotics for the next week"
To emphasise the point Victor slid a foil pack across to where Yuri was now
seated. He said nothing as he popped out 2 pills and downed them with juice.
"Victor I don't know why you keep this thing of yours around. He's clearly not
suited to you and your leaving at the end of the year anyway. What's the
point?"
Yuri's heart stopped. Victor was leaving? And he was to stay? He felt
physically ill but refused to show any sort of emotion in front of Chris.
"Chris if you have time to complain about my life why don't you try moving on
from tormenting teens at your old school"
Yuri tried not to smirk. Although it did explain why he'd been there that
afternoon.
"It's really your fault Victor. You never have any time for me now that you've
got him"
The look Victor gave Chris bordered on revolt.
Yuri didn't mean to but a small laugh fell from his lips.
Chris looked murderous but Victor... he was smiling like he'd just witnessed a
miracle
"Yuri did you... did you just laugh...?"
Yuri hung his head staring at his plate. He shouldn't have laughed.
Standing up he moved his dishes to the dishwasher.
"Excuse me"
With that the boy left.
*
Laying on his bed the boy didn't know what to do. If Victor was leaving what
was he supposed to do. Chris was right. What was the point of being back here
when the year would soon be at an end.
He looked at his phone November 27th.
In 2 days he'd be 16.
In 1 months and 4 days the year would end.
In 1 month and 4 days Victor would be gone.
The boy curled into a ball.
*
Victor drove him to school the next day, even escorting him to the principals
office to explain his absence.
As he watched Yuri thought about how natural it seemed for Victor. Everyone
seemed to love him.
The boy was excused and left for class.
Today his skin pricked and he felt physically ill from the way they stared.
They'd seen him arrive with Victor. They had seen trash with their god.
As the day dragged on the boy wanted it to hurry and end. Skating was the last
subject and he found little enthusiasm for it.
Walking into the rink Victor was already on the ice. A group of teens stood
around him listening to everywhere. The boy wanted to leave.
"Yuri!"
Victor sounded so happy that Yuri flinched. He preferred the colder side of
Victor. The one without the socially acceptable falseness.
Sliding off the guards Yuri stepped onto the ice. With a heavy heart he skated
over to Victor.
Victor was all smiles and seemed intent on touching almost all of Yuri he
could. Yuri hated how good it felt.
Victor clapped his hands and the room fell silent.
"Now as you know your principal asked me to do him this little favour..."
Yuri doubted that was the case.
"And seeing I've just returned from Beijing he asked me to show you both my
short and free skate"
Victor smiled brightly again.
"Go stand rink side until I'm done"
Yuri wondered why he'd even skated out to begin with.
"Yuri come skate it with me"
If Yuri could have killed him right then he would have. He could almost taste
the hatred being directed toward him.
Yuri knew the routines Victor had choreographed but he didn't know which one
he'd skated in Beijing.
"Victor you do know I haven't seen your Beijing performance"
"Yep I'm well aware"
Yuri's face burned. No way was this going to work.
He realised he knew the song as soon as it started. He knew the routine but it
hardly seemed impressive enough for competition.
He skated knowing how far the skill gap between the two of them was.
But still he kept up.
The music stopped after the short and no one moved.
"Now I'll have Yuri skate the free and then I'll skate it after him"
Victor skated off the ice leaving Yuri alone, he remembered the last time
Victor had made him perform. His face flushed in embarrassment.
When the music started he shut it all out. His body moved as Victor had shown
him and his jumps had been perfect.
When he finished no one said anything and he skated off the ice feeling sick.
Even Victor said nothing as he skated pass.
Yuri wondered if that was he lesson he was supposed to learn. His world was no
more and no less than what Victor gave him.
As Victor skated the boys face blushed with shame. Victors dance on the ice was
mesmerising. His moves flawless but to Yuri it held a sadness. He hadn't even
realised until a tear ran down his cheek.
When Victor was done everyone clapped. Everyone except Yuri, this only added to
the hatred directed toward him.
Victor had them skating laps. It was like Yuri's training sessions, they were
expected to do what he called out.
Everyone, except for Yuri, were left panting by the end of it. Victor sent them
from the ice.
Yuri was once again forced to skate in front of everyone. Victor was still
calling out what he wanted Yuri to do and Yuri was still obeying.
It wasn't until over an hour later Victor finally got bored and allowed him off
the ice.
He nearly fell as he stepped off. His legs were burning and he struggled to
breathe.
He walked past everyone staring and straight to the locker room.
He showered in peace and had redressed before anyone else came in. He ignored
them all and pushed past.
The boy didn't know where Victor had gone and he didn't care. Instead he
started walking home.
***** 10 *****
The boy was walking down the school steps when he felt a hand from behind. It
took the boy a moment to realise he was falling.
He hit the ground hard, biting his tongue.
The boy didn't say anything. He stood and started to limp away.
*
Everyday it was the same over and over. They'd wait until after school and he'd
have a small accident. The boy wondered how long it would take for them to grow
tired of it.
They didn't.
Victor was away again but still the boy went to school. Everyday was hell.
Everyday he still went.
He never spoke unless asked and found the work easier than expected. Yakov had
taught him well.
The boy was 16 now. Victor had said nothing that day so the boy hadn't either.
Instead that night the boy cried himself to sleep.
The boy was skating now. He was still hated. The day with Victor had only made
things worse.
The coach for the school was a small woman with short cut hair. She was gentle
and kind and the boy didn't know how she did this job. She didn't treat him
differently from the rest and he appreciated it.
He knew everyone here hated him but that only made him try harder.
Even though he'd ignored there repeated abuse the boy still found himself in
trouble.
As his head slammed into the metal locker the boy resisted the urge to fight
back. He wouldn't give them the satisfaction.
The metal sliced into his face and he smelt blood but the teen didn't stop. One
girl screamed but the boy said nothing. Again his face was slammed against cold
metal, his nose clicked and blood flowed. Finally the teen let his head go.
All the boy could think was he was relieved he didn't have his glasses on.
He could hear the a girl crying and wanted to tell her to fuck off, the boy bit
his tongue.
Opening his bloodied locker he stuffed his skates back inside and grabbed out
his glasses. He did nothing to stop the bleeding from his nose. It wasn't the
first time and it wouldn't be the last.
The boy walked away.
*
The boy had to stop a few times while walking home. His nose had finally
stopped bleeding but he still felt faint.
He'd have to burn these clothes otherwise he there would be evidence of what
had happened.
*
Makkachin jumped on his the second he opened the door and boy snapped. He
winced once he realised he'd yelled at the overly friendly dog to fuck off.
He knelt down and the still scared dog walked cautiously over, stopping just
short.
Tears filled the boys eyes as nuzzled his bloody face into the dogs fur. He
apologised over and over, not even sure the dog understood.
Dropping his bag near the door he walked straight to the bathroom.
His shirt and jacket were ruined. Blood had started to dry in his chest and
neck. The blood on his face was still damp.
This was going to be a painful cleanup.
The boy was careful as he stripped off the ruined clothes. He dropped them away
from the white bathroom linen. Last thing he wanted was lectures.
He ran the shower cold. His body longed for the warm relaxing embrace of the
hot but it wouldn't help his pounding head any.
When he was finally sure his tender face was clean he stepped from the shower.
Staying wrapped in the towel he placed his pants, socks and underwear in the
wash. The rest he took to the backyard.
The first time the boy had seen the back yard he'd thought how harshly it
clashed with the house.
The house was lavish and clean, beautifully decorated. The yard not. It was
completely bare other than a fire pit in one corner and evenly mower grass. The
boy took the lid off and stuffed the ruined clothes inside.
He realised he'd forgotten a lighter and went to search the house. He didn't
find a lighter but he did find matches next to the stove. He hoped the fabric
would burn.
The first match snapped but the second burned bright. He held it to the shirt
hem, sighing in relief when it finally lit.
Replacing the lid he went back to the kitchen to find an ice pack. Hopefully if
he iced it now it wouldn't be to bad tomorrow.
*
His face was bruised, not terribly swollen but his nose was all stuffy. Still
he dressed for school. If he didn't the school would notify Victor.
The day passed at half speed. There was no training today so boy left early. No
one had tried to talk to him all day, even the teachers said nothing about his
bruised face. He found himself thinking how typical it was for an adult to
ignore what was right in front of them.
*
The boy felt sick. Victors car was parked out the front.
Walking inside the whole house felt cold. He shivered and his skin prickled. He
didn't want to be here.
He tried to duck through to his room but Victor yelled his name out. Yuri
flinched.
But still he walked to find Victor. He was seated at the dining table.
The boys heart sank. The clothes he'd tried to burn were sitting in a pile. He
didn't want to have this conversation. And since when did Victor go in the
backyard?
The boy stared waiting for Victor to say something. Instead Victor rose from
his seat and took Yuri's face in his hands. He glared down at Yuri and Yuri
squirmed.
He wanted to run.
"What happened to your face?"
"Nothing"
"Yuri don't lie"
The boy pushed Victors hands away.
"Was it someone at school"
He said nothing
"Yuri if this shit is happening at school you need to tell me"
The boy snapped.
"Who's fucking fault do you think it is!"
He stormed away.
*
Victor stayed away until near on dinner time. He came into the boys room with a
plate of food as a peace offering.
The boy took the plate. He felt guilty for his earlier outburst even if the
words he spoke were true.
Victor sat on the side of the bed cradling his head in his hands. The boy hated
to see him like that.
"When you say it's my fault what exactly do to mean?"
The boy stared at his plate
"Yuri... what do you mean?"
"Victor, I'm not from that world. Im little more than trash and that world is
something no one like me could ever reach"
Silence fell and the boy didn't know what to say.
"Yuri. I hate it when you say that"
"What that I'm trash? Victor I am!"
The boy moved the food from his lap to the side table.
Victor didn't move
"You come in and buy me with drugs but you don't want my body. You tell me to
skate but it's a joke for you. I know I'm your property but you seriously got
ripped off. At least you'll be free from me soon. Your experiment ends once you
leave right?"
Victor looked up at him
"Yuri. You know that's not it at all. I took you away from your family so you
wouldn't die. You have a real talent for skating, if you hadn't I would have
never enrolled you at that school"
"Well I wish you hadn't..."
"Is it really that bad?"
"Victor look at my fucking face. They don't want me there! They fucking hate
me. I fucking ignore them and still it's a game to them. Let's make fun of the
trashy faggot who sells himself for money, who's parents rented his body out
for drugs. The piece of trash who let his baby die and threw it off a
bridge..."
The boys temper flared and he was all but yelling.
Victor just stared.
"God I tried to burn my fucking clothes so you wouldn't find out! But just like
everything in my life I've fucked that up too. I don't blame you for fucking
leaving"
Victor moved across the bed so he was sitting next to the boy, he pulled him
against his chest. The boy didn't know what to do.
"I hoped you'd moved past that"
"How could I. I live with my sins everyday. Hell I got beat up and you know
what... I got fucking hard from it. Victor I got hard when a stranger beat on
me. And I liked it. I've been raped more times than I can count but I still
sold myself on the streets. You should have let me die at home"
The boy started shaking and his anger turned to sobs. He couldn't stop the
tears falling.
Victor rubbed his back trying to calm him.
The boy hated it.
"Before you came alone I didn't feel anything. Why am I like this now"
Victor pushed him off and the boy shook. He waited for Victor to slap him
again, only he didn't.
"Yuri. I don't know what to tell you, it would all seem like lies. My family
and I were never close, though not like yours. I had to grow up fast. Skating
was all I had and because of that I was able to move beyond them. Even though I
knew our situation was so different I still wanted to save you"
The boy stared not understanding
"I knew you were being abused. In this world all it took was a little money to
hear your whole story"
The boy felt sick
"I didn't know how to tell you stay when you hated and mistrusted everyone. The
only way I could think was to be cold to you. To push and frustrate you. The
night you went to step off the bridge what triggered it?"
The boy pushed down the lump in his throat
"I thought I was going to die. Laying in that alley I didn't know anything
could hurt so much. And then it was there and it was dead. I passed out from
the pain but when I woke up I was still there. I felt nothing for it. I didn't
even know who the father was. I cleaned myself with my jumper and wrapped it
up, I didn't know what to do. So I threw it off the bridge and I felt
nothing... watching the water made it all seem so easy"
Victor raised his hands and cupped the boys face
"Yuri no one should have to go through that. That's not the life you should
have had. I wanted to keep you safe"
Yuri looked confused
"Did Yakov not tell you?"
Victor shook his head
"He told me nothing that first night you were here. I assumed you'd been raped
not that you'd given birth the day before. When I found out I couldn't believe
you'd had the strength to stand let alone jump"
The boy shook his head
"I was pissed at you all. You seemed to have it all together and then your
friend Chris started. I didn't want your help. I wanted to skate in peace and
when I couldn't do that I wanted to find somewhere to die in peace"
"Yuri you have no idea how strong you are. I wish you would stop hurting
yourself, it's ok for you to be happy"
Yuri shook his head
"You still aren't listening. Victor I'm trash. I will always be trash"
Victor sighed.
"Yuri why do you skate?"
The boy didn't even need to think
"I skate so I can escape. Even if I'm no good I skate because it's easy. All I
have to do is what I'm told"
Victor frowned
"Yuri you are good. Why do you think I had you skate at the exhibition...why do
you think I had you skate with me at your school?"
"Honesty because I'm just a joke. Isn't that why? The rich boys toy who can
jump and skate like he wants and make all his friends laugh"
Victor looked like he'd been slapped
"Did it really seem that way?"
Yuri nodded
"You said they busted your face because of me. I wanted to show you off to
them. I wanted to show them that you had talent. I definitely didn't want them
to laugh at you"
Victor reached out and wiped away Yuri's tears.
"Another thing. I'm not leaving because I want to. My passport expires soon and
Yakov had a life outside of coaching too. I wanted to talk to you about this
but I've been so busy and you never seem to want to talk to me"
The boy stared
"I didn't think I had the right to"
Victor shook his head
"I feel like we should have had this conversation sooner"
The boy didn't know what to say.
"Yuri I'll be leaving in 2 weeks. You have 2 options. I can't take you with me
but I can leave this place in your care until you finish the school year at
least... or... I have talked to your sister Mari. She's working at an Onsen at
the moment and the owners have agreed to take you in. You can either transfer
now or wait until the end of the school year. If I could take you with me I
would. Especially now we are actually talking."
The boy didn't know what to say. After all this time his sister wanted him. If
she wanted him why hadn't she helped him that night with the police.
It had to be a lie.
"I know she doesn't want me. You don't need to lie. She finally escaped, I'm
the ugly reminder of the past. But I can't stay here either"
Victor frowned
"Even when you're away I don't feel like I belong. It's all too clean and too
nice. I'm too dirty"
Victor sighed and raised his palm to his forehead.
"Well you're not going back to the streets and you won't be selling yourself
either"
Victor paused before continuing
"Ok. How about this. I help you find a job, you stay here until you have enough
money to move, and you get in contact with your sister"
The boy felt the colour drain from his face. He already knew he wasn't suited
to any sort of legal work. He'd be much better as a runner or selling his arse
than legal work. And his sister. Fuck what was he supposed to say.
"Yuri I leave New Year's Eve. That's 2 weeks. You have 2 weeks to decide and
tell me what you want to do"
Victor picked Yuri's phone up from the nightstand, avoiding the plate of
uneaten food. Yuri watched as he scrolled throw his own before typing away one
handedly on the stupidly bright screen.
"I've put Mari's number in your phone. I'll pass yours on to her. I really
think you should at least here her out"
Yuri shook his head
"She lied to me, she broke her promise. She said she'd come back for me, but at
the end of the day she didn't"
Victor bit his lip clearly unsure what to say
"Yuri just talk to her ok? Maybe she'll tell you why she didn't... look it's
getting late and you should eat. I'll drive you to school tomorrow ok?"
Yuri shook his head
"Don't... just stay away from there"
Victor looked sad but still he nodded.
*
Victor wouldn't let him walk the full way alone. Instead he drove the boy to
school but stopped a few blocks short.
The boy scrambled from luxury car without even saying thank you.
He'd begun to enjoy the early morning of walk. The burn and sense of
accomplishment. Stupid Victor.
Last nights conversation ran on replay over and over in the boys mind, it was
still there on repeat when classes started.
The boys phone rang and his face flushed in embarrassment. He'd completely
forgot about it. Pulling out his phone his blood ran cold and his heart
stopped. Caller : Mari.
The boy was furious. Rising to his feet he stalked out the classroom, ignoring
the students whispers and the teachers reprimand.
He slid his thumb across the screen answering the phone.
"I'm in class and can't talk"
His voice dripped with iciness and he hadn't even allowed Mari to say hello yet
His sister began to apologise before the phone line was filled with her sobs.
The boy felt disgusted, did she call just to cry at him?
He scolded her and told her if she wanted to talk to try a time when he wasn't
at school. He'd meant to tell her to fuck off but his mouth had a mind of it
own.
Ending the call he was walked back into the class like nothing happened. He
stuffed his now off phone back into his bag.
*
The boy was still angry when he skated that afternoon. His moves weren't as
clean as normal and he felt frustrated by his poor performance. He ended up
leaving early. Not even bothering to shower or change back into his uniform.
Instead he stuffed it in his bag.
He paused once he off of the schools boundaries and turned on his phone. 28
missed calls and 51 text messages.
He scrolled the lists.
All from Mari.
The boy was furious, well it wasn't like his anger from earlier had truly
faded. Victor had told him to use the number when he was ready. He'd assumed
that meant Mari would talk to him at his own pace. Not fucking hound the shit
out of him.
His walked broke into a jog and his jog into a run. Even though he was mad at
him the boy suddenly felt desperate need to see Victor.
*
His lungs were burning by the time he finally the house. He only slowed his
pace once he was finally inside. Holding his phone he stormed across to the
dining room, as he expected Victor was sitting there with his nose buried on
some book.
Angrily the boy slammed the phone down in front of Victor. His whole body
shook.
"Make it stop"
That was all the boy said before talking back to his room.
When Victor finally came in he was talking on the phone. The boy watched from
his bed.
Victor held the phone out to him and the boy took it with shaking fingers
"Yuri just... just talk to her. If you can't talk then just listen"
Yuri took the phone and held it to his ear.
He didn't speak.
He couldn't speak.
As tears began to run down his face he listened to his sisters words.
Victor watched silently.
When the boy was done listening he handed the phone back to Victor. Mari had
already hung up.
The boys body shook as he dissolved into sobs and Victor closed the distance.
"She wants to see me"
The boy shook his head against Victors chest.
"I can't... I don't want to see her... she has a new life... she needs to leave
me behind, like before"
Victor pulled him closer
"Yuri I'll be gone soon. Please meet with her. You need someone who will love
you in my place... it doesn't have to be right now, it can even be after I've
gone... but it would help both of you"
The boy tense. Victor loved him? That didn't seem possible. Maybe Victor meant
love the way one loves a pet. That had to be it.
*
It was now the 22nd. 9 days left.
Holidays had begun yesterday and the Victor had taken the boy skating for the
day.
Well technically Victor had arranged to meet up with his friends and decided
that Yuri had to come too.
It seemed to be some kind of Christmas/going away party for Victor.
Victor seemed to glow as he laughed and skated with his friends. Yuri stood
awkwardly away from everyone doing his own thing.
He hated Chris and had no want to be that close to him.
He flinched as one of Victors female friends skated over to him. She introduced
herself as Mila.
Yuri didn't know what to make of this over the top bubbly teen. She flirted non
stop and the boys skin crawled. He could see Victor watching with a smirk.
Fucking Wanker.
Taking his hand she pulled him over to the group. Victor immediately pulled his
close and the boys face burned. Everyone laughed and the boy tried to push the
older teen off. He only clung tighter.
Mila pulled out her phone and took a photo of the two of them. She was
practically beaming as she cried how cute they were.
The boy wanted to leave.
Chris opened his mouth and caused trouble yet again. He wanted to see how good
Victor had been at training the boy.
Yuri tried to pull back and protest but Victor laughed and smiled proudly as he
agreed.
Mila skated off to organise music while Victor listened to the requests of what
they wanted him to skate. The boy didn't know why he bothered entertaining him,
Mila would probably just choose anyway.
The boy was right. The music started and everyone skated away from them.
Mila restarted the track and the pair began their performance.
It was something from Victors earlier years one of the first videos he'd
watched.
When they were done the teens clapped for them both and Yuri's face burned from
the embarrassment. Stupid Victor.
Mila skated back over and took him by the hand, leading him away.
She asked for his number and the boy was confused.
She took her phone and showed him the photos she'd taken. She thought he'd want
a copy. He did.
She asked him what he had planned for Victors birthday and the boy was
confused, telling her he had no idea when it was. She looked shocked and shook
her head.
Victor would turn 20 on Christmas Day. Inside the boy panicked. He had no idea
what to do for someone's birthday let alone what someone did for Christmas.
What the hell did you do when someone's birthday was Christmas Day.
Mila winked and skated away.
Yuri skated back over to the group and excused himself, he was relieved when
Victor said nothing, but he did seem a little saddened.
*
Leaving the rink the boy tried to think of what would be a suitable gift. Even
though he'd been staying at Victors house so long he still had no idea what
would please the man.
The boy pulled out his phone and flicked through the photos Mila had taken.
It was a little lame but he supposed maybe could just print them out and frame
the better ones.
It wasn't as if he didn't have the cash to buy Victor something better but he
thought Victor probably wouldn't appreciate a gift brought with the money from
prostitution.
So that's what the boy did.
Being clueless with technology he first found the frame, a simple silver frame
that reminded Yuri of Victors hair.
The woman working there helped him chose which 3 to print and walked him
through the steps. He wound up printing all the photos and doubles of the 3 for
the frame.
Seeing it was Christmas she even wrapped it for him for free.
She'd seemed taken back that he'd chosen plain paper rather than some gaudy and
Christmassy, but the boy didn't explain himself.
He walked home feeling rather proud of himself.
*
Christmas Eve - night.
The boy was woken by Victor climbing into bed with him. He stank of alcohol and
the boy shivered. Even though he knew Victor would never touch him like that he
couldn't help but respond in fear, from the years of constant abuse.
His body was shaking but Victor didn't notice. Instead he pulled the boy close
and spooned up behind him.
Soon his soft snores filled the room.
The boy was to scared to move. This wasn't like Victor at all. He'd never even
seen him drink.
The boy didn't mean to but having Victors warmth so close he snuggled back into
the him and fell asleep.
 
*
Christmas morning.
Victor was still asleep when the boy awoke. Carefully untangling himself he
slipped off to the bathroom.
Yakov was already in kitchen by the time the boy made it there.
He was making breakfast and wanted to know where Victor was.
The boy told him he was sleeping in his bed.
Yakov was surprised. He didn't say it but it was written over his face.
Tiredly Yakov scrubbed his face with his hands and went back to making
breakfast while the boy sat.
The boy ate what was placed in front of him he had no idea what it was but it
didn't taste bad.
Yakov left, setting aside Victors breakfast.
Placing the dishes in the dishwasher the boy took the food back to his room.
Victor was still asleep completely dead to the world and the boy longed to
touch him.
Instead he stole a kiss from Victors parted lips. He couldn't believe how soft
and sweet they tasted. He felt himself growing hard from the moments contact.
He reeled back disgusted with himself. He'd never felt sexually frustrated in
his life.
The boy left. He headed to the bathroom and ran the shower so no one would know
what he was doing.
The boy stripped off his pants and planted one foot up on the bathroom sink. He
let his mind wander. He imagined how good it would feel to have Victor touch
him.
Slowly he started to jerk his erection. First his free hand played with his
nipples before he slid it down.
His eyes widened as he slipped a finger inside of himself. He imagined that
Victor would be soft and sweet with his touches, but trying to be soft and
sweet wasn't enough. Roughly he shoved another 2 fingers into himself.
He thrust his fingers in and out, rubbing the tips against his prostate. His
whole body shook and his breath fell in lusty pants.
It didn't take long to bring himself to competition.
He enjoyed the waves of pleasure, but as he slid his fingers out he felt shame
for what he'd done.
For the second time that morning the boy showered.
Coming back to his room he found Victor awake. He was calmly eating breakfast
like it was nothing. The boys face reddened as Victor smiled in his direction.
Trying to push the guilt of what he'd done the boy crossed the room and pulled
out the wrapped present. He also pulled out the paper wallet with the rest of
the photos in it. Climbing across the bed he handed them both to Victor.
Victor was clearly confused.
"Is this for me? For Christmas?"
The boy shook his head.
"Mila said today was your birthday. I'm sorry it's so lame"
Victors eyes widened, the boy couldn't read his expression.
Still he watched as Victor tore open the paper.
The boy finally relaxed as Victor smiled.
"In all my life nothing has made me as happy as I am right now. Thank you Yuri"
Yuri was confused. He was sure Victor was only being polite but still his heart
pounded
"Thank Mila" he mumbled.
Placing the frame and photos beside the food Victor sat up and pulled Yuri
close.
"For that stunt I've decided we're gonna spend the whole day in bed watching
movies"
The boy was confused. His room had no TV.
Victor let go briefly and grabbed the frame and photos again. Yuri felt his
hand being tugged and allowed Victor to lead him.
The boy followed as Victor lead him to his room. He'd never been in Victors
room before but it was pretty much what he expected.
A large 4 poster dark wood bed stood squarely centred against the back wall.
It's drapes a rich purple silk. The rest of the furniture had been chosen to
match.
Victor placed the frame next to the TV. It was tiny in comparison.
Moving over to the bed Victor pulled back the sheets and told Yuri to slip in.
Victors sheets where crisp white. The boy felt like he was contaminating them
by just being on them. He was sure Victor would find them browned and dirtied
when he finally kicked Yuri from his room.
Still he slid across as Victor slid in next to him.
Sitting there Victor reached for the TV remote, he asked Yuri what he liked to
watch but Yuri didn't know. He'd never really watched movies or TV.
Victor chose the movie and Yuri settled back against the pillows trying to get
comfortable.
The day passed in an enjoyable haze.
Sometimes he'd nod off other times Victor would keep him awake with a running
commentary of how bad the movie was or what his favourite part was.
The boy was falling more in love.
They left the room only for dinner once again Yakov had cooked. Some how the
conversation had escalated and turned into a drinking competition between the
2.
Yuri couldn't even remember what started it only that Yakov drank Victor under
the table.
Together they were forced to carry Victor back to his room and put him to bed.
Saying goodnight the boy returned to his own room.
 
*
The next few days passed too fast and soon it was the night before Victor was
due to leave.
The boy had locked himself in his room. His reasoning was to stay out of the
way, in reality his heart was breaking.
The next day came too soon.
The boy held back his tears even when Victor started crying. He stood trying to
be strong. He'd promised Victor he'd contact his sister tomorrow on New Year's
Day and Victor had promised to call him when he landed in Russia.
The boy still couldn't trust promises.
He'd agreed to stay in the house until he'd finished the school year. He wanted
that connection to Victor. He wasn't ready for it to end.
Yakov went on ahead with Makkachin to wait in the car while the two said
goodbye.
Victor pulled him close. He told the boy he wanted daily updates, no matter how
trivial and the boy agreed. Gently pushing him away Victor planted a kiss to
his lips and then he was gone.
As the door closed behind him the boy fell to his knees. He was alone again.
*
As promised he called his sister in New Year's Day. They didn't have much to
talk about but in a way the boy found it soothing.
*
School started back and boy was loathe to go.
Victor was gone and he hoped that meant things would get better. They didn't.
It seemed now Victor was gone they no longer feared there actions being
reported back to him.
The boy was beat upon every time they had the chance.
The boy wondered if maybe he should have moved to be with his sister. Hasetsu
didn't sound so bad compared to this.
As the weeks went on the abide continued but the boy never told.
One day was particularly bad. The boy skipped afternoon practice and was
walking down the central staircase. He didn't even realise what had happened
until after the moment.
Someone had shoved his down the stairs. His world spun for a moment and then
his body screamed in pain. He tasted blood and then there was blackness.
***** 11 *****
The boys head was pounding, but still he forced his eyes open.
The brightness of the overhead fluros only intensified the pain. He realised
someone in the room was crying.
"Yuri? Yuri... oh thankgod!"
The boy turned towards the voice, everything was blurry but he could make out
the shape of a woman. He supposed she the one crying.
"Yuri..."
The boy was confused. Who was Yuri? He began to panic as he realised he didn't
know who he was.
Pain short through his skull, it felt like his brain was on fire.
The boy let out a shriek and and clawed at his hair. The pain only intensified.
"Hold on Yuri! I'll get help"
The boy wasn't listening. The pain was to much.
He heard voices and the sound of running steps.
"Mr Katsuki! Mr Katsuki can you tell me what's wrong?"
The boy shook his head. His head felt like it was going to explode. He felt a
prick in his arm and after a long moment his world went black.
*
They had sedated the boy. He didn't see the way the woman cried. He didn't hear
her endless questions.
He didn't hear the phone call she'd made in tears to Victor.
The boys head was still pounding but the pain was significantly lesser. The boy
didn't remember waking before.
Once again he hear the cries of a woman.
He turned his head toward the cries. Pushing open his eyes he could make out
her blurred form. He wanted to ask her why she was crying, but then he realised
maybe he should ask who she was. His throat felt dry and grainy and he nearly
choked forcing his words out
"Who are you?"
The woman fiddled with something before he felt something slide onto his face.
The world sharpened and came into focus.
The woman wasn't overly attractive but she still had a nice way about her. He
felt bad the woman had cried for him when he had no idea who she saw.
"Yuri... is that better? I'm so sorry! I've been so scared?"
The boy frowned, he wasn't understanding.
"I'm sorry but I still don't know who you are..."
The woman let out a choked sob
"It may have been a while but I'm still your sister!"
The boy was puzzled.
"You're my sister?"
The boy tried to think but he realised he couldn't remember anything.
"Yuri! What are you trying to hurt me?
The boy shook his head
"I'm sorry I honestly don't know who you are"
The woman looked mortified and back away from the bed. Turning she ran out the
door.
The boy sat up curling up to hug his knees. It was terrifying not knowing who
he was. Tears began to fall and the boy wondered how he'd ended up here.
The boy was still like that when his "sister" returned. An older male followed
behind her, the boy guessed from the note board and clothing he was a doctor.
"Hi Yuri, Mari here tells me you are having some issues with your memory. I'm
going to ask you some questions ok?"
The man was straightforward and the boy liked that.
The doctor asked him his name, address, when his birthday was, his parents
names and what school he attended.
The boy could only shake his head. He knew nothing of that.
The doctor had him sit still while he shone a light into both of the boys eyes.
The boy obliged.
The woman called Mari excused herself from the room.
While the boy talked to the doctor some more, Mari pulled out her phone.
She'd already been talking to him everyday since Yuri had been admitted. She's
convinced Victor to stay over there already and dreaded the phone call to come.
She knew Victor cared deeply for her brother but now she'd have to tell him
Yuri didn't even remember him.
Her heart broke and tears spilled as she told him. She could hear the shock in
Victors voice and felt gutted.
She ended the call promising to keep him updated.
The boy missed it all.
The doctor left him there, telling the boy he'd wanted to run more tests. He
hadn't told the boy he'd been in a coma for the last week after being pushed
down stairs at school.
*
For the boy every day was the same. They told him he'd fallen and that he'd hit
his head, which was probably the reason he now had amnesia.
They couldn't tell the boy if he'd ever regain his memories as head injuries
could be tricky like that.
*
They finally released the boy into his sisters care after a week in hospital.
When they arrived home he didn't know what it was, something felt off.
She introduced an older man and women, they told him to call him mom and dad.
The whole thing left the boy confused. He let Mari lead him to his room.
As she slid open the door the boy felt his confusion increase. Posters of the
same boy covered the walls and Yuri had no idea who it was.
His sister sensing his confusion explained that before the accident he'd loved
to ice skate and this man named Victor Nikiforov he'd been his favourite
skater. The boy crossed to the bed and sat down staring around. He couldn't
imagine himself liking skating. It felt like he'd stepped into someone else's
life.
His sister left him for a moment and the boy let out a deep sigh.
He heard a small bark and Mari came back, she was holding a small brown puppy.
She reached out passing the boy the poodle puppy. He was a mass of curly fur
and the boy snuggled him.
"His name is Vicchan. He was named after Victor"
The boy nodded holding the puppy close.
"I'll show you around"
*
Yuri slipped into this life but he hated his swirling feelings. Everyone knew
his life except for him. It felt like it was all one big secret.
Still the boy did what was expected of him and kept his head down.
Mari had introduced him to Yuko, she was the pretty woman who worked most days
at the skate counter. While she was nice her boyfriend grated against Yuri's
nerves. He never missed the chance to tease Yuri.
Mari also introduced him to Minako. She was an ex dancer who had traveled the
world and now taught ballet in this sleepy little town. He liked Minako
probably the most out of everyone he'd met here. She was friendly, but not too
friendly and most of all reliable.
The boy soon settled into this life.
*
2 years had passed and boy still remembered nothing from before he woke up in
that hospital bed.
Thanks to Minako the boy had landed a skating scholarship in Detroit. He was
nervous but more excited than anything. He would be that one step closer to his
skating Idol. Victor Nikiforov.
***** Optional ending *****
Chapter Notes
     Optional ending for those who want them to have sexytimes and Yuri to
     recover his memories
Yuri never knew that everyday he lived with Mari she would text Victor updates.
Even when nothing happened she still let Victor know that Yuri was alright.
She'd send him photos she'd taken of stupid thing Yuri had done it photos Yuko
had taken of the boy skating.
Yuri had no idea at all.
*
When Yuri had moved to America he thought he was making the right choice. He
made friends and felt like he'd found somewhere he belonged, but he also felt a
rising pressure not to disappoint those friends.
When he'd finally qualified for the Grand Prix he was elated. Mari had been the
one he'd called first. She'd laughed and congratulated him, but the boy
wondered why it felt like she wasn't the one he wanted to hear it from.
He was so close to skating on the same ice as his idol. He'd come so far, tried
so hard.
But when it came time he'd choked.
The boy felt the walls closing in on him. He knew he was completely out of
everyone else's league. He felt like trash, and than Vicchan had died.
The boy had felt so much guilt over the dogs death. Vicchan had been the one
he'd turned to when things got to hard. The one he'd cried on when he was
frustrated he couldn't remember. And yet he hadn't even been there for his
death.
Yuri spiralled downwards. Skating became and chore and he began to eat his
feelings. He felt like he'd lost control.
He'd broken down in the toilets after his humiliating loss. He'd disappointed
everyone. But more than anything he was disappointed in himself.
Russian skater punch Yuri had kicked the door in as he'd sobbed pathetically
and declared there wasn't space for two Yuri's. Yuri couldn't help but agree.
When his idol Victor had asked if he wanted a commemorative photo, that had
been the last straw. It had felt like his idol was mocking him. Why else would
he offer?
Making up his mind Yuri headed home.
*
Yuri didn't know that his actions had broken Victors heart.
He didn't know that his sister Mari had told Victor about his spiralling
depression.
He didn't know that Mari had also told Victor about his wanting to quit.
He was blissfully ignorant to the mans pain.
*
When Victor had arrived at the Onsen Yuri had been overwhelmed.
Thee Victor Nikiforov was interested in trash like him.
He was still furious that Yuko's triplets had posted that video.
He didn't know that Victor had called Mari straight after seeing it, nor that
the two had planned it together.
*
Yuri found that he felt nostalgic when Victor was around. It was like he'd
known the man for years. He'd never fallen in love with anyone. He'd never let
himself.
With his memories gone he'd put up walls, keeping everyone at an arms length.
It was the only way he could cope. If he was sad he'd play with Vicchan or
throw himself into practice. He didn't want them to see his pain.
But Victor was different. Bit by brick he'd stripped down those walls. Bit by
bit Yuri had fallen for him.
At first he was scared that Victor would be repulsed but he started to touch
Yuri more and more, every time he left a warmth that took hours to fade.
When he'd beaten Yurio at the Ice Castle, all he could think of was Victor.
Minako had taught him to move more feminine, it was closer to what Yuri felt
for Victor.
Yuri fell more and more in love with Victor everyday. But still he struggled,
he didn't know what to tell Victor when he asked about his past.
It was hell.
It was heaven.
*
When he'd smacked his face into the rink wall he felt something. It was like a
ghost of a memory. He tried to grab it but it slipped through his fingers.
He told no one.
*
That night was filled with strange dreams. Dreams he was younger and living
with Victor. Things weren't great in this dream but when he'd awoken his chest
ached and he'd longed for Victor.
*
Night after night he'd awake from strange dreams with the urge to see Victor.
He pushed it back.
Victor was skating royalty. He was the one who had stolen Victor from the
world.
*
Meeting Chris in Beijing Yuri flinched. He'd met Chris once before in America
but he'd rubbed him the wrong way, since then he'd ignored him. He didn't
understand why Chris seemed so jealous of him.
Even Victor seemed sick of Chris, this had been surprising seeing Victor got on
with everyone.
When Yuri set foot on the ice all he could think was how he would show the
world Victor was his. If they wanted to hate them they could. He didn't care.
Victor was his.
*
That night he couldn't sleep.
The pressure was getting to him again.
He was falling apart.
But most of all he was scared Victor was going to leave him again.
He didn't understand it though. The again bit stuck in his mind.
*
When Victor had taken him away from the rink it felt like he was saying he
already thought Yuri would lose.
Yuri felt physically ill from it. He wanted Victors acceptance so badly.
He hadn't meant to yell at him. He hated himself for it. The lack of sleep had
left his mind a mess. The reoccurring dreams that haunted him had played on
repeat. It was all too much.
When he skated his free he'd felt impatient. He wanted to make Victor
understand, more desperately he wanted to understand.
And then Victor had kissed him.
It had only been a a simple press of the lips but it felt like it had happened
before.
*
The flight back hadn't been great. Yuri's head had pounded. His nightmares had
turned dark. He dreamt he'd been selling himself. Of strangers he called his
parents, they'd sold him for drugs. He dreamt of being raped and beaten.
Yuri had woken soaked with sweat and in compete terror. His head felt like it
was splitting in two. He let out a choked sob, that was when Victor had awoken.
Victor had held his hand, talked to him gently and finally calmed JJ down.
He asked him what was wrong and he'd listened as he explained his dreams. How
they occurred over and over. Even though Yuri's head still throbbed he still
told Victor.
Victor had promised they would talk about it more, they were due to land soon.
*
When Yuri had gone to collect there bags, Victor had called Mari. He filled her
in on what Yuri was remembering. They were both fearful. How would he react to
the better part of 8 years being a lie?
But still they didn't want to live like this any longer. Both of them wanted
Yuri to forget the past, he was doing so much better, but keeping it from him
also stung.
*
Victor had taken Yuri up to his room after they'd arrived home. Yuri was
exhausted so Victor had helped him into bed. Yuri had been surprised when
Victor had climbed into bed next to him but said nothing. He wanted him there.
*
Yuri woke up screaming in the middle of the night and Victor was there. As he
sobbed Victor pulled him close to his chest.
"Why does it feel so real?"
He felt Victor tense and pull back.
Yuri watched as Victor turned the bedside light on, and then take something
silver from the bedside draw.
He seemed to hesitate a moment before passing it to Yuri.
Yuri stared at it in disbelief. It was him and Victor only much younger than
now.
The penny dropped. He realised the truth. His dreams weren't dreams.
His hands shook and the frame fell from his fingers. He scrambled from the bed
in horror only to stumble and fall to his knees.
His stomach revolted. He felt ashamed.
He collapsed to the floor, he couldn't move if he wanted to. Everything came
rushing back in one go.
His skin crawled and he heaved again. He could feel their fingers, all of them,
every man who had ever touched him. His body shook uncontrollably and he didn't
even register Victor trying to help him up.
He realised the lies.
He realised the truths.
He realised the past.
Finally his body went into shock, unable to keep up with the mental anguish. He
passed out in Victor arms.
*
Yuri was alone when he woke up. It felt so weird waking up in a room he'd
assumed had been his all his life only to find it a lie. He sat there for a
long time not moving.
Logically he understood why they hadn't told him. But it still hurt.
They had known and they hadn't said a word.
The longer he sat there the more his annoyances dissipated.
He couldn't deny that his life had been significantly better since he'd moved
in with Mari.
He hadn't felt like trash, not like before.
He'd managed to actually achieve things skating on his own.
He hadn't been beaten.
He hadn't had to sell himself.
He'd finally got a taste of a normal life.
His heart went out to the people who'd taken him in, who'd cheered him on and
accepted him as a son.
He realised how loved he was now.
*
Victor and Mari came in later. Both seemed unsure what to say. So Yuri lead the
conversation.
He told them he had forgiven them.
He told them he understood why they hadn't told him.
He thanked them for loving him enough to suffer, but he'd didn't want them to
suffer anymore.
He sat there and listened to them fill in everything. Sometimes it was almost
too much but he forced himself not to cry. These 2 people loved him more than
life. They needed him to be strong.
When they were done Mari excused herself. Yuri asked her not to mention this to
their "parents", she nodded and left.
*
Sitting there with Victor his heart was pounding. He couldn't believe he'd
fallen in love with him not once but twice.
He listened as Victor explained, he cried for the man who had suffered. Victor
pulled him across the bed and cuddled into him.
His heart stopped when Victor finally admitted his final secret.
"Yuri I've loved you for the last 8 years"
Yuri's eyes shone. He wondered if he was stuck in a dream.
"Victor I love you too"
Victor was very gentle as he removed Yuri's clothes. He wouldn't even let Yuri
help. Yuri couldn't help but blush. He'd never had sex with someone he'd loved
before.
He gave himself over to the softness of Victors touch. The warmth of his lips.
This man was his world and Yuri his.
Neither rushed to be connected, the feelings ran deeper than words.
The way Victor kissed his body made Yuri moan. He'd never felt like this
before. He actually blushed from being so exposed.
When Victor nestled between Yuri's legs Yuri nearly came on the spot. Victors
mouth was so warm and wet and coupled by his fingers gently opening Yuri's
entry, it was to much.
He felt himself growing slick with want and he wondered if Victor really felt
the same way. He scolded himself. He wasn't that boy in the alley, the boy who
sold himself. He was Katsuki Yuri.
Victor pulled off before Yuri could cum. Instead he messed around in Yuri's
nightstand until he pulled out lube.
"Victor... Condom"
Victor shook his head.
"Yuri no matter what happens I will never leave your side. I want to cum in
you... if that's ok"
Yuri felt a moment of panic. For a second he was in that alleyway. But this was
Victor. Victor wouldn't leave.
He nodded his consent.
Feeling Victor push in, Yuri couldn't help but cry. He didn't know it was
possible to be this happy. To feel this loved. As Victor pulled him up into his
lap Yuri buried his face into his chest, sobbing as the pain and shame left
him, until all that remain was happiness. Victor held him close, whispering
words of love while thrusting in.
Yuri came first, but Victor didn't last much longer. They nuzzled at each
other, neither wanting to break the contact.
8 long years had lead to this point.
The past was just that the past. Neither of them needed to be trapped by it any
longer.
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