Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/3960730. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Ouran_High_School_Host_Club_-_All_Media_Types Relationship: Hitachiin_Hikaru/Hitachiin_Kaoru Character: Hitachiin_Hikaru, Hitachiin_Kaoru Stats: Published: 2015-05-18 Updated: 2017-07-19 Chapters: 2/3 Words: 2208 ****** To Possess One's Reflection- ****** by Nyaaa Summary Ok… Hikaru thought of the same image of Kaoru and the shadowy man again and again felt his mind screaming no. So then if its not the fact that his twin is in love with another man then what is it? Kaoru… Kaoru in love… With another- “Oh.” The words audibly escaped his mouth while still staring at the burnt diary page. Notes This is my first fanfiction so please try to overlook all of the awful grammar and formatting if you can! Also, if you have advice on how to better my formatting and what not please let me know in the comments! Thank ya for reading~! Part 2 to come~ ***** Oh. ***** Chapter Summary Ok… Hikaru thought of the same image of Kaoru and the shadowy man again and again felt his mind screaming no. So then if its not the fact that his twin is in love with another man then what is it? Kaoru… Kaoru in love… With another- “Oh.” The words audibly escaped his mouth while still staring at the burnt diary page. Chapter Notes This is my first fanfiction so please try to overlook all of the awful grammar and formatting if you can! Also, if you have advice on how to better my formatting and what not please let me know in the comments! Thank ya for reading~! Part 2 to come~ Disclaimer: No sex today ya pervs ;) “Hikaaaaa~!”Kaoru leapt at Hikaru in an attempt to grab the diary in his twin’s hand. “Gimmeeee, that’s mine!” Kaoru whined acting like it was a trivial matter but in reality he was panicking just a tiny a bit… Maybe a lot a bit… “Oh come on Kao~~” using the nickname in the mock tone that Kaoru had done earlier. “I thought we agreed no secrets, and I mean a ‘diary’ really? Kaoru- chiin I thought we were -oh I don’t know- maybe not preteen girls?” Hikaru was now dancing around the billiards table in one of the spacious rooms attached to their bedroom keeping Kaoru dancing on the other side. “Lets see here~ ‘October 1st, the sky is really blue today. Ms. Tachibana next door came over and gave Hikaru and I homemade cookies for helping her with her garden last week.’ Oh I remember that! Mmm that lady sure knows how to bake! Oh Kao~ you’re so sweet for including me in your diiiiaryyyyy~!”Hikaru continued to tease. “Haha alright Hikaru that’s enough…” Kaoru was beginning to drop his façade. “’October 21st, the sky is kinda gray and icky today.’ Aw I’m sorry Kao~ don’t you just hate it when the sky is kinda gray and icky?” Hikaru continued to avoid Kaoru’s lunges. “I’m warning you Hikaru… You don’t want to read that. Really, it’s just boring mundane things alright?” Kaoru pleaded. That damn billiards table… “’November 3rd…’” Hikaru began. “STOP.”  Hikaru looked up a bit stunned at the gravity his twin’s voice was carrying. Kaoru’s pale face looked back at him. “You feeling alright Kaoru? You look like you’re going to be sick.” Hikaru put the diary down on the billiards table and walked around to comfort his sweet Kaoru that he had teased maybe just a little too much. He put his arms around his twin comfortingly while leaning in to press his forehead against the other’s. You don’t feel warm… Maybe you should-“ “I’m fine.” Kaoru pulled away and retrieved his diary. He then proceeded to walk over to the fireplace and throw the diary into the pit of flames. Hikaru stared. “Wow, dramatic aren’t we?” “I told you nothing important was in it. I was meaning to get rid of it anyways. I’m going to go take a nap.” Kaoru walked coldly past Hikaru into their bedroom and shut the door. Hmm that wasn’t like his Kaoru to keep things from him… Hikaru thought. He walked briskly over to the fireplace and grabbed the poker leaning against it. The flames lapped at the diary but it wasn’t completely consumed yet. Hikaru plunged the poker into the ashes and pushed the remnants of the diary and a whole lot of embers onto the stone hearth surrounding the fireplace. Hikaru knew that this was a major invasion of his brother’s privacy, reading his diary when he wasn’t there to hear him, but the face Kaoru made… it scared him. Whatever was written on November 3rd was obviously terrifying Kaoru. Once the flames and heat subsided Hikaru let the cover of the diary crumble off in a bout of ash and began to turn the now crisp dry pages that were protected- well protected to an extent. Luckily when he turned to November 3rd the page wasn’t too damaged. ‘November 3rd,’ he began to read. ‘The sky is a bit cloudy but it stopped raining!’ Hikaru smiled to himself, damn his Kaoru was cute. ‘I’ve been having this strange feeling lately… and honestly I’m kind of ashamed of it… but I can’t help it! They… they just make me feel so… so… warm. They make me feel like a sun is burning in my chest trying to burst out and create its own solar system with us at its center… I- I think I love him.’ Hikaru looked wide eyed at the page he had just read and rubbed his eyes and re-read it again. ‘I think I love him.’ Kaoru… Kaoru is gay? Hikaru flushed a bright red as he thought of his beautiful twin pressed against a manly figure gazing up with eyes full of want and desire. No. What? Why no? Hikaru thought. He personally didn’t really have anything against homosexuals, he had a few gay friends at his school and he knew it wasn’t a big deal. Heck Kaoru and himself were always playing the part of queer lovers so why did it bother him that his brother really was of that persuasion? It didn’t. Ok… Hikaru thought of the same image of Kaoru and the shadowy man again and again felt his mind screaming no. So then if its not the fact that his twin is in love with another man then what is it? Kaoru… Kaoru in love… With another- “Oh.” The words audibly escaped his mouth while still staring at the burnt diary page. Hikaru stiffened all over. “Oh.Oh no…. I can’t… No, that’s not possible…“ Hikaru mumbled to himself. But it was, and Hikaru knew it. His mind was screaming no because, well, that was hisbrother, his twin, his… love? Now that Hikaru had allowed himself to think of his brother in that way, memories of his sweet, cute, dear Kaoru flooded in. Memories of his beautiful smile as he presented him with a birthday present, of his laugh as they teased Tamaki about his crush on Haruhi, of those big golden eyes staring up at him as they performed at the host club for the girls, of his slender yet muscular body pressed flush against him while whispering in his ear and moving his hand down his naked torso lower and lower. Stop. That last one wasn’t a memory. It was a fantasy. Whatever else was in the diary could wait. Right now he needed some air, and fast. Hikaru took off the shirt he was wearing and folded the diary remains up in it. He then stuck it in a cabinet. “Alright Hikaru let’s get some air, yes?” He coached himself while trying to keep his arousal from growing at that last ‘memory’ he had. Hikaru opened the door to his room with the full intent of passing straight through to the balcony but the sight in front of him stopped him. Kaoru. Asleep. He had seen Kaoru asleep plenty of times but he had never allowed his eyes to linger, to examine every inch of his twin in a way that made him feel dirty just thinking about it. He had only awoken to his feelings for his twin moments ago but the want… the want was strong. He found himself inching closer and closer trying to get a better view of this majestic gorgeous creature with his mouth slightly agape and cuddling a pillow. So cute. Hikaru watched as Kaoru’s chest rose and fell slowly as his twin took in deep breathes fast asleep. He brushed his fingers along his beloved’s hair line, then around his chin, and then along his smooth enticing lips completely captivated. “Hikaru?” He looked up from those lips still parted slightly after mumbling his name to the golden irises now staring at him. He didn’t move. “Hikaru.. Are you alright?” That voice… oh if there was ever a more angelic sound than Kaoru saying his name… After the sudden bliss that came with that melodic voice came rage. Pure unwarranted rage. “Tell me who it is.” “What? Hikaru what are you talking about I’m trying to slee-“Kaoru’s eyes grew wide as lips were pressed against his own. Lips he never thought he would ever be able to embrace like this. The kiss was brief but passionate and full of possession. “Who did you write about?” Hikaru stared intently at his now very awake Kaoru. “Wha- Ho-How did you? Um could you maybe do that again? No wait I’m mad at you!” Kaoru was still groggy from his nap and dazed by the sudden unexpected kiss. “You want me to do it again?” Kaoru’s already red face deepened in color. “Well I mean if you flipped the page over maybe you would have read the name of the person I was writing about…” Kaoru grumbled, his head now buried in a pillow. “Me? I’m warning you Kaoru if you’re fucking with me I don’t know what I’ll do.” Kaoru shifted the pillow lower so that his golden eyes could meet their pair while still attempting to hide his flushed cheeks. “Yes you, baaaka~” Kaoru mumbled through his pillow. Hikaru dove at Kaoru and took him completely in his arms. “I never want to let you go Kaoru… I never want you to be anyone else’s, I want you to be mine forever.” Kaoru pulled away a bit so that he could look his Kaoru directly in the eyes. “I love you. I love you so much it hurts.” Kaoru caressed Hikaru’s cheek and closed the little distance between them to give him a deeper less chaste kiss. Hikaru’s breath hitched as Kaoru nibbled at his lips unexpectedly and swept a tongue across his lips with a questioning look in his eye. Kaoru let out a predatory growl as he pushed his way on top of Hikaru and deepened the kiss further while practically shoving his tongue down his twin’s throat. “Mmm Hika-ah!” Kaoru groaned as Hikaru began to grind into just the right place. This brought Hikaru’s senses back and he pulled away. Both of them just sat there for a bit still breathing heavily from what had just occurred. “You do realize that this... this thing that we are doing… loving each other in this way… It’s illegal Kaoru, if we got caught… We would both go to prison.” “Of course I know that! Why do you think I tried to keep it to myself baka?!” Hikaru smiled at his twin. “Stop being so cute Kaoru, you’re making it really difficult to try and have a serious conversation.” “What did I do?!” “Never mind, it was stupid of me to ask the impossible. Anyways, I think we should take a few days to think about this. Like really think about this and if after considering everything we are willing to accept the risk, then- we can find a way.” “Hikaru…” Kaoru stared up at his twin with eyes glistening like a topaz. His brother was so cool, and romantic and considerate and kind and… “Umm, Hikaru?” Kaoru asked embarrassed at the thought of what he was about to ask. “Yes my dear?” Hikaru wrapped his arms around his twin and they just sat there on their bed with Kaoru still half way wrapped in the sheets but still somehow in Hikaru’s lap. They sat in silence like that for a good minute before Kaoru spoke. “I think we should, um, experiment a little… Just so we are more informed when making this um important decision… Please?” Kaoru pulled at Hikaru’s arm with a longing look that was far too indecent. “Oh baby you don’t have to ask it like I’m doing you a favor.” Kaoru smirked with half lidded eyes. ***** Ohhh Yes~ ***** Chapter Summary Things take a turn for the steamy~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer: No sex today ya pervs ;) Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes "Oh baby you don't have to ask it like I'm doing you a favor." Kaoru would have usually flushed a bright crimson hearing his twin talk to him in that tone. That sultry, dripping, purposeful tone. But the Kaoru that was in the moment was so turned on right now that it just made his breathing even more unsteady and his eyelids fall a little lower. He instinctively tilted his head back and gave a small moan, fully trusting his twin with all of his vulnerabilities. Now that Hikaru knew, there were no secrets or hesitation at all in submitting to the feeling he was now saturated in. "Mmmm baby you sound so good, you dont know how bad I want to hear that again." Hikaru could feel his pants already digging into him painfully as his cock yearned for its pair. He leaned up over Kaoru and pushed him back gently onto the large decadent pillows behind him. Kaoru looked breathtaking like this. Him looking this gorgeous and delectable should be the illegal thing about what was happening. "You wanna hear me Hika~?" Kaoru slurred in his lustful state with a wicked little smile. Hikaru was speechless from the sight in front of him. "M a k e m e." he almost whispered. Hikaru's body was ontop of Kaoru's now with nothing short of his beloved twin having a heart attack being reason enough to break the electricity that was flowing through both of them as they grinded against one another with hands roaming freely and kissing with open mouths. "Mm *ah* Hika- mmm door- lock-" Kaoru mumbled in between breaths. Hikaru leaned up, now sitting ontop of Kaoru's crotch, to take a small breather. "Since when did we give a fuck about what people thought of us." Hikaru crashed his lips back down onto his twins as they resumed their heavy make out session. "Mmmm I agree~ Hika but-but mmmm its *ah* if we get caught- ohhhhhh~" Kaoru words failed as his rational mind was lost and all he could think of was Hikaru's heavy warmth giving him life. Chapter End Notes Apologies for the blue balls, this is a bit of a teaser for the chapter to come! This is my first fic so I want to work out the flagging and tagging details as far as making sure nobody stumbles across unwanted *ahem* material. Also, its late. XD Please let me know what you think in the comments! I'll try to put out the next chapter soon~ Mwa~! (^3^) Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!