Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/253422.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      X-Men:_First_Class_(2011)_-_Fandom
  Relationship:
      Erik_Lehnsherr/Charles_Xavier
  Character:
      Erik_Lehnsherr, Charles_Xavier, Raven, Sebastian_Shaw
  Stats:
      Published: 2011-09-14 Completed: 2012-02-20 Chapters: 11/11 Words: 56897
****** To Be Alone (With You) ******
by dizzycalm
Summary
     AU set in modern time. Charles and Erik meet as kids. They grow up,
     discover their powers together, and eventually fall in love... though
     one is more opposed to the idea than the other. Erik wants what he
     can't have and Charles is terrified of being like his mother.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
***** Chapter 1 *****
Chapter One
Erik was twelve years old when he first met Charles Xavier. It was winter of
1999 in Westchester, and the lake behind the woods in the back of Erik’s aunt’s
house was frozen over… or so he thought. Erik left his aunt in her bed to go
out and ice-skate in his brand new running shoes his aunt had worked hard to
buy for him. He remembers a time when he had his own skates that were worn
black leather, and how he would slide across the ice with his hand firmly
clasped within his mother’s. His father would be standing far away from the ice
cheering him on; his father was a horrible klutz and had gotten tired of the
constant bruises and aching backs he would receive trying to skate with his
son. His wife, though, was like a snow angel, twirling with her long brown hair
flowing in the cold air. Erik would give anything to see her once more like
that… so beautiful and the look on his father’s face while watching… so loved. 
 
That was three years ago, in Germany, back before the fire that had trapped his
mother inside and had sent his father running in to rescue her. Ten year old
Erik had been left standing barefoot in the cold grass, waiting signs of his
parents reappearing, but none came. When the roof came crashing down engulfing
everything below in a cloud of fire, Erik ran to the front door. If it hadn’t
been for his neighbor, Erik would have easily joined his mother and father. The
neighbor was an elderly man, and so for him to overpower a ten year old with
his heart set on entering a burning building took all of his energy and effort.
Erik thrashed about violently, clawed at the hands that grabbed his arms,
screamed himself hoarse.
 
Even wrapped up in his neighbor’s arms he still tried helplessly to get down by
throwing his head, trying to get whoever was behind off. He screamed until
nothing was left. Erik had expected to hear his parents voices calling back,
but was only met with the harsh sounds of a fire consuming all that he had ever
known as a home and a family. It was only after the house came crashing down
did the firefighters show up, since they lived in the poorer part of town and
nobody really rushed to get there. They blamed Erik’s family’s lack of fire
alarm for the death of his parents instead of the reaction time. The next week
his aunt, whom he had only known from photographs, had sent for him to come
live with her in New York.
 
His aunt was a hardworking redhead named Nina. She was constantly out the door
to one of her many jobs trying to prove to herself (and most importantly her
parents) that she could survive on her own. Erik’s grandparents had died before
he could even form proper memories of them, but Nina still felt that drive to
prove them wrong. Nina cared for Erik, but she didn’t love him and he could
tell. They were practically strangers. She often would look upon her nephew
with pity in her eyes, setting Erik’s teeth on edge. He didn’t want to be
pitied, he wanted to be loved. She was also constantly reminding him of how
expensive it was raising a growing boy, and how much harder their life would be
now, even though Erik had already learned how difficult it was. He had often
felt like a burden to his parents who worked so hard to clothe and feed him.
They had struggled trying to give Erik everything he needed because of the love
they had for their son; Nina hadn’t asked for the added expensive of a child.
The brand new shoes on his feet were, “The cost of my grocery bill when I was
living alone!”
 
Erik had no idea how many jobs his aunt actually worked, but he knew he was
often left to entertain himself and he liked it that way. He would rather go
and do as he pleased freely, instead of Nina watching him like a hawk, thinking
he was about to have another crying fit at any moment; the first had happened a
few hours after he arrived at Nina’s house. Erik couldn’t hold back the longing
he felt for his own home and his parents. The sobs couldn’t be controlled, even
though Erik tried hard to swallow them down. Nina had just stood there,
awkwardly patting him on the back with a, “There there.” Erik liked being alone
and not having to guard his emotions so closely. Nina liked leaving him alone
to work through his own feelings, instead of standing around awkwardly ready to
comfort at any moment. Her three jobs helped keep her out of his way and free
from the cramped house. 
 
Erik often leaves the house late at night; he won’t think of it as sneaking out
since nobody has ever told him he wasn’t allowed. That line of thinking keeps
his mind free of guilt as he takes walks up and down their street, climbs up an
old tree in the yard to watch the bats zoom by, or sit on the edge of the
massive lake whenever sleep evades him. 
 
This particular night, Erik feels the ice calling to him as he makes his way
through the woods behind their tiny two bedroom house. The house doesn’t look
too bad in the moonlight when you aren’t able to see the peeling green paint,
crumbling cement steps, or screen door that is missing the screen. He runs
through the dense woods until the view of his house is gone, his footsteps are
sure and steady as he jumps over fallen trees and dead branches. The massive
frozen lake comes into view, and Erik is thankful the darkness hides the
mansion on the other side; he always feels like the massive structure is
watching him. Erik hurries down to the edge of the lake to immediately set out
on what he’s been planning all day. The brand new running shoes he puts on for
this adventure feel awkward against the dark ice underneath his feet. The flat
bottoms with grooves meant for catching on pavement have no traction on the
ice; his feet are unsteady unlike how they would be in ice-skates.
 
He takes great care as he first slides out a few feet from the shore, but it
doesn’t take long at all for his confidence to build along with his speed.
Breathing deeply with his eyes closed, Erik tries to recall the memories of his
mother skating. He smiles to himself as he goes further away from bank with his
eyes still squeezed shut, trying his hardest to conjure visions of dark brown
hair waving in the wind and a soft, masculine laugh far away from them where
his father would be watching. He slides his running shoes faster and faster,
causing the bitter wind to shock him through his black turtleneck, but he
shakes it off and tries to spin like before. Sadly, without skates it’s almost
impossible to accomplish gracefully and his feet slip out from under him
causing him to smash hard into the ice.
 
His eyes are jerked open as he meets the ice with a grunt as he continues to
slide to the middle of the lake. He’s landed on his back with his feet in the
air and the panic suddenly crushes into him when he realizes the ice is thinner
in the middle. He is still sliding without anything to grab on to but doesn’t
cry out for help, because he knows he is alone. His mother isn’t holding his
hand and his father isn’t watching from the sidelines.
 
Erik brings his foot down forcefully trying to reduce speed which only results
in a deep crack forming underneath his shoe. His eyes follow the crack as it
spreads out quickly before him, racing him to the middle and branching out on
all sides until it surrounds him. The loud crunching of destroyed ice meets his
ears. The sound gets louder, and suddenly he is plunged into the icy cold,
black water down below. He cries out too late causing freezing water to rush
into his lungs. His eyes are wide open and his limbs are flailing out trying to
remember how to swim, but the shock of the water dulls his reactions. He feels
one of his shoes slipping off his feet into the darkness, and a calming yet
worried voice says something he can’t quite make out inside his head. Mamma! He
looks around trying to find her. Help me, Mamma!
 
There’s a glowing light in the water below calling to him, Erik is frightened
and doesn’t know which way is up, but certainly his Mamma wouldn’t lead him
astray. He’ll go to her, she’ll save him, and they’ll be a family again. Erik
makes a move to go further into the water, but there’s a push to his back as if
somebody has jumped in, and a thin yet persistent arm is wrapped around his
chest- the light vanishes as he’s tugged upwards. He immediately fights against
the arm that’s keeping him from going deeper, but the freezing water makes his
movements sluggish and his muscles weak. Another thin arm joins in the battle
to keep dragging him upwards, until his head breaks the surface, and air rushes
into his lungs with a sharp gasp, followed by coughing.
 
Erik gets pushed up onto the ice and lays there, face down against the coldness
with a sudden urge to cry. There’s a boy next to him pushing him onto his
back. 
 
“Why were you trying to swim away?” the boy cries out, trying to sit him
upright.
 
“I thought I was alone out here.” Erik stares up into incredibly blue eyes.
 
“You are not alone.” The blue eyed boy’s face is flushed. “Can you stand?” 
 
The boy’s soft accent comforts Erik and reminds him of the brief time his
family spent in England when he was about six. The boy doesn’t wait for Erik’s
answer and decides to pull him up, even though Erik is taller with broader
shoulders where the boy is shorter with a slender frame.
 
“I can stand.” Erik immediately proves himself wrong when his legs cramp up and
he leans heavily into the smaller boy.
 
“My house is just over there… we need to get dry.”
 
In the dark, Erik doesn’t see the mansion that’s across the lake from the
woods, or the myriad empty vodka bottles in the kitchen they pass through up to
the nameless boy’s room.
 
“My name is Erik.” His teeth chatter noisily, but he feels he has to introduce
him if he’s being invited into the other’s home. Risk of hypothermia or not,
his father has taught him to always be polite.
 
“I’m Charles. Please don’t call me, Charlie.” The red-faced, blue-eyed Charles
smiles at him crookedly and something strange happens inside Erik’s chest. The
homesickness that has plagued him for the past two years is suddenly gone.
 
 
The next morning Charles wakes up with Erik’s back pressed against his own
back, facing the wall. He must have rolled over and smashed the poor boy in his
sleep, because there is hardly any space between Erik’s face, the wall, and
Charles’s back. His bed is a queen size, and Charles moves around a lot in his
sleep. His dreams are so realistic he’ll end up waking himself up by fighting
off an attacker, or his body would jerk from some dream blow to his stomach. He
wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep afterwards. These dreams come less often
when his step-father and step-brother are away like they are now.
 
When Charles was eight years old, his mother, Sharon, married Kurt Marko. Kurt
was close friends with his father, a nuclear scientist who died in a car
accident along with Kurt’s wife, Angela Marko. He brought along to the marriage
not only his son, Cain, but also his gambling habits, and his many mistresses
that he likes to talk openly about to his wife. This only gives Sharon an
excuse to binge drink and fly all over the world, chasing after Kurt on his
lengthy “business trips” which mostly consist of him spending money on
“business expenses” where he teaches his son how to be a “man”. Charles can
only describe Kurt’s work as wandering around the world making promises to
desperate businessmen and lovelorn women. The promises may lead them to more
money where Kurt gets sixty percent of the profits, and other times it leads to
unwanted pregnancy. If Charles sounds bitter when people ask what his step-
father does for a living, it’s because he is. Charles grits his teeth and says,
“He’s an entrepreneur.” Which is what Kurt calls it in polite company. 
 
Charles doesn’t understand why, but Sharon desperately loves his step-father.
She begs him to never leave her, and is constantly throwing herself at him in
public to get his attention. Sometimes his mother comes to his room late at
night to talk about her and Kurt’s relationship issues. They mostly consist of,
“I love him, but he doesn’t want me”, “I want him to love me more”, “I need his
attention”, “He says he loves me, but I want him to show me”, “I adore him more
than anything in this world”, “I’d rather die than lose him.”
 
Charles hates Kurt. He hates how he makes sure his mother is stocked up on her
favorite alcohol before going on an extended business trip. He hates how Kurt
looks the other way when Cain’s fist tears open his flesh or his foot crushes
his abdomen. He hates how he puts down his father in front of him so easily and
he hates how much his mother loves him. It terrifies him to think somebody
could love so blindly and never wants to feel that way.
 
Charles’s skin feels overheated from where they’re lying back to back. It’s
amazing how much heat Erik started generating after getting warmed up. Charles
rolls to over on his back to look over at his new friend. Erik is indeed going
to be his friend; he likes the look about him. He likes that when Erik smiles,
because it feels like everything is going to be okay. This boy who tries to
look so intimidating yet is so agonizingly sad can actually brighten up for a
moment and smile, showing all his teeth. Shouldn’t Charles be able to do the
same?
Charles has noticed lately that he can tell how somebody is generally feeling.
He knows when his mother is sober enough to carry a conversation from a block
away if he concentrates hard enough. He can linger around the lake behind his
house if he feels the presence of Cain or Kurt at home. He could feel the
sadness rolling off Erik at the lake.
 
He had a dream earlier that night where he stood at the edge of a lake far away
from his home. He was next to an older man who looked out across the frozen
water at a young boy and a beautiful woman with long dark hair. She was
spinning him around in circles while the boy giggled and waved to his Papa.
When he jerked awake he wasn’t in his bed anymore, but outside his backdoor.
Erik’s pain and distress from the middle of the lake came at him in waves
making it hard to breathe. Later, he felt Erik’s happiness when they exchanged
names, and his contentment at just staying up talking about comic books until
their teeth stopped chattering. Charles wants to know where Erik’s pain and
anguish came from and why it went away so suddenly. He’s never felt emotions as
strongly as Erik’s feels them. He wants to know everything about the other boy
and tell him all his secrets. He wants a friend.
 
“I’ve never had an actual friend before,” Charles explains when Erik has woken
up and eaten some toast Charles made him. They are sitting on the floor in
Charles’s room. “Will you be my friend?”
 
“My aunt worked so hard for these shoes.” Erik is picking at his one remaining
shoe not meeting Charles’s eyes. “I wasn’t supposed to wear them until school
started.” 
 
Charles takes the shoe away from Erik’s grasp forcing the boy to look up at
him. “I’ll buy you new ones!” He tries smiling brightly at Erik to get a
reaction out of him.
 
“Why would you do that?” Instead of looking pleased, Erik looks upset and grabs
his shoe back. His German accent is thick when upset.
 
“We’ll be friends… and friends do anything for each other, right?”
 
“I don’t know. I’ve never had one either.” Erik is again staring at his shoe.
 
“So we’ll figure it out as we go along. Please, be my friend.” Charles hasn’t
begged for anything in his life. Well maybe for his mother to stop after the
first bottle of vodka or Cain to soften his punches. Charles suddenly feels
he’s making a fool of himself by Erik’s still disapproving scowl.
 
“Don’t buy me shoes and I’ll be your friend. Don’t pity me.” Charles feels how
strongly Erik hates being pitied.
 
“Oh Erik, I would never pity you… my friend.” Erik’s smile is just as bright as
Charles’s own. 
 
 
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
                              Three months later

Erik and Charles are inseparable. They talk and share their deepest thoughts
and wishes like they’ve known each other all their lives. They know almost
everything about one another, from their favorite color to the one thing they
want the most in the world. Erik wants a family of his own one day and to name
his children after his parents. Charles wants to be a smarter man that his
father was and for Kurt to make his mother happy for once.
“I just want them to be happy and love each other like you say your parents
did… that would make her not drink so much.” This particular day they are both
on the floor of Erik’s small bedroom. There is only enough room for a small
twin bed covered in a scratchy blanket, and a tiny white dresser. Erik is used
to living in cramped spaces and feels extremely tiny in Charles’s grand
mansion. He’d rather have just enough room instead of feeling empty and alone.
“Don’t you want to be happy and love someone like that?” Erik asks as he sits
up on his bed. Charles is laid out on the floor with comic books spread around
him. His eyes are tracing the ceiling where some child that lived there before
Erik had stuck up glow in the dark stars.
“I am happy, Erik.” And I never want to love someone like that. Charles doesn’t
say his thought out loud and has never actually discussed that with Erik. It’s
one thing he feels uncomfortable speaking to anyone about. He doesn’t want to
feel that deeply for anybody, but knows how strongly Erik wants to not only
love, but for those feelings to be returned just as strongly. Erik wants
somebody to adore him and look at him like his mother looked at his father.
They both have different dreams in life, but they seem to complement each other
perfectly. Erik’s dislike or disagreement with something Charles likes or
agrees with doesn’t cause arguments, but lengthy debates they both enjoy.
Charles’s failing in one subject or activity brings out Erik’s skills, letting
him shine, and vice-versa. They often try to outdo each other in dares and in
making the other laugh. Charles reminds Erik that it’s okay to be a kid again
while Erik reminds Charles to smile. Erik is the first constant being in
Charles’s life that he can count on. 
Nina sees the two boys as complete opposites, not only in the quality of the
clothing they wear, but in temperament. Her nephew is simply a more subdued
child while Charles is always asking questions and talking about what he
learned that day. Erik presents a tough exterior with his scowl to keep away
other people, while Charles seems to often sport a warm smile. It’s not just in
their appearance either. Erik wants to learn how to fight to protect Charles
while Charles claims to be a pacifist; Charles has been a vegetarian since he
was nine; Erik loves gnawing on jerky (causing Charles’s face to crinkle) and
the smell of Nina’s beef stew.
Strangers seeing them would think they couldn’t get along, yet Nina would come
home from a long day at work to find Erik reading books in German to Charles,
or Charles showing him his father’s journals and trying to explain what he’s
reading as best as a twelve year old can. She often finds herself smiling when
she catches them huddled together talking, or sees Erik run off into the woods
to find his friend. Charles brings Erik out of his shell making him talk and
smile more. 
She first thought Charles looked at Erik like he was performing some sort of
charity act. Since moving away from her childhood home in Germany, after the
fight she had with Erik’s grandfather, she has never accepted charity from
anybody. Her parents wanted her to stay at home and become a housewife to their
best friend’s older son, but Nina wanted so much more in life. She wanted to
live in New York and perform on Broadway… though she can’t act or sing. The
first time she saw a musical in the cinema, she immediately put on her own show
in their back yard with advertising (handmade posters in the small grocery
store around the corner) and backup dancers (the dogs that refused to
cooperate). However, only her immediate family members came, and her sister
politely told her, “Stop singing or I’ll smack you in the head with my shoe!”
during the opening act. Nina loved the idea of an audience hanging on every
word she said and move she made, oohing and awing at her jewels and sultry
voice.
“You sound like a drowned cat!” Her darling sister would yell during her vocal
exercises before throwing Nina’s own cat at her. Et tu, Katze?
Her parents said she couldn’t survive in life without the support of a husband,
but she was proving them wrong until the added expense of a growing boy. Nina
wishes she could warm up to Erik, but he looks so much like her sister. Erik
has the same dark brown hair and bright green eyes which causes her heart to
break constantly. They live like strangers, so Nina is glad this small boy from
across the lake found her quiet nephew. She’s never heard him speak so much or
seen him smile so brightly than when Charles is around.
Sharon on the other hand, has yet to meet Erik.
They spend most of their time in the woods behind Erik’s house, where he built
a small hideout. It wasn’t much; just four bare wooden walls, metal sheet for
the roof, and a homemade wooden door. Erik and Charles were having a hard time
finding a place where there would be no drunk mothers or aunts hellbent on
cleaning everything. He wants a place that’s just for them.
Charles explained his desire to Erik one day before the hideout was built and
they were shut up in Erik’s room after school with the door firmly closed, not
locked for Erik’s door had no lock... or knob for that matter. Charles would
have taken his usual spot on the floor surrounded by books and homework if it
weren’t for the door digging into his back, his face forced into the faux wood
paneling of Erik’s room.
“Nina, stop opening the door! You’re crushing Charles!” Erik’s foot hovered
dangerously above Charles’s crotch while Erik reached over from his bed to try
and shut the door. 
“I need to clean that god awful floor.” Nina’s voice sounded stern, but she
immediately closed the door. “Why don’t you boys go climb some trees or maybe
be my little helpers for the day? I could get you both your own aprons and
gloves.” They don’t waste time to open Erik’s window and climb out to avoid
washing any floors. “Reckless boys!” Her yell doesn’t stop them from racing
each other to the top of the tallest tree in Erik’s yard. 
They settled next to each other in the tree’s branches which don’t provide much
cover from the chilly and wet spring wind. Their position is close to the top
on the sturdiest branch side by side, shoulders touching. Neither one of the
boys wore a jackets due to their rush to leave the house. Erik notices Charles
shaking and his skin devoid of all color from the cold after a few moments. He
reaches over silently to take Charles’s freezing fingers into his own to rub
together. 
“I wish we had a place all our own, without people interrupting or demanding
things from us.” Charles’s teeth chatter and he leans closer to Erik’s warmth,
his head rests on Erik’s shoulder. “A place just for us.”
After three months of knowing Charles, Erik would do anything for his friend.
Charles wants a place where he belongs, so Erik will build him one. Erik wakes
up extra early in the morning to work on their safe haven before school and
stays up late at night to get it finished as a surprise. When Charles finally
sees it he throws himself into Erik’s arms to squeeze him tightly.
“There's so much more to you than you know.” Charles’s voice is barely a
whisper.
The place is only tall enough for Charles to stand up straight, but wide enough
for them both to stretch out while reading books or playing chess. Charles ends
up stealing an expensive rug from a room nobody ever sets foot in for the
hideout’s ground floor. Then a month later Kurt comes home and discovers the
missing rug and beats Charles for misplacing such a valuable asset to the
Xavier fortune. That night neither Charles nor Erik goes home. 
Erik can only hold Charles, soothe his hair back from his bruised face, bandage
his cuts, hum to him softly, because he promised he would never confront Kurt.
He feels like destroying everything in the world that might cause a frown to
appear on Charles’s face let alone a bruise. Erik can barely hold himself
together when Charles is hurt and bleeding, but Charles needs Erik to keep him
from breaking apart. Erik can’t wait for the day when all this suffering stops.
Kurt is a big brute of a man and to confront him would mean to physically fight
him. Erik would be beaten like Charles has been, but worse since Kurt does not
like being told what to do. It would be more painful for Charles seeing his
friend like that than all his myriad bruises and bloody noses he’s ever
received. Erik only agreed, because one day he’ll be powerful and Kurt won’t
stand a chance against him.
“Kurt has to be stopped.” Erik’s huddled around Charles, his lips move the hair
on the back of Charles’s neck. 
“If he stopped and left, Erik... Erik it would kill my mother. I can't allow
you to do that.” Charles’s voice sounds so small and defeated, Erik is glad for
once he can’t see the look on his friend’s face.
“You're such a fool, Charles. Making your mother happy won't make you happy.”
He receives no reply and they once again fall asleep wrapped around each other.
Sometimes when they do part for the night, Charles will wake up to discover
Erik sleeping between him and the wall; Erik having left his own bed unable to
sleep. When Cain and Kurt are home while Erik stays over, the flimsy lock on
Charles’s door that is easily broken from the outside, mysteriously stays
strong under the force of Cain’s shoulder and boot. Erik would wrap himself
around Charles’s smaller frame and Charles would never have felt safer inside
his own home.
Charles feels they can both read each other’s minds. They can exchange looks
that are entire conversations, and Erik shows up whenever Charles needs him,
and vice-versa. Charles tells Erik one night when they’re curled up in their
hideout, the sound of the howling wind blowing against the wood walls, how he’s
never felt more peaceful… Erik never thought peace was an option for him.
                                Two years later
It’s 2001, they are fourteen now and much has changed. Erik’s inner thoughts
aren’t so peaceful anymore and they both know they are different from everybody
else. Charles can not only tell what kind of mood you’re in, but can catch
random thoughts when concentrating hard enough and sometimes they enter his
mind without even trying. Once Charles picked up his mother’s thoughts about
how tall Charles had gotten when Sharon was looking at Erik in the backyard
through the kitchen window where she was smoking. He thought he was imagining
things until his mother asked that night what happened to his growth spurt when
he went to give her a bottle of water. It was the first sober conversation they
had in a month.
“His name is Erik, mother. You’ve seen him before.” 
Sharon is sprawled out in a lounge chair located in her parlor. She only goes
to the master bedroom when Kurt is home, and her parlor also happens to contain
the massive liquor cabinet that dominates the room. It’s a dark colored parlor
with blood reds, dark woods, and heavy furniture. Charles hates this place.
“Whatever you say, dear…” The smoke from her long cigarette curls over to
Charles’s nose making him want to step back, but he refuses to flinch. That
would only cause an argument about his love for her. “Give mummy some vodka…” 
Sadly, this isn’t the first time he’s fetched alcohol for her. He wishes he had
more courage to stand up to her again, but the last time he tried she slapped
him so hard he tasted blood, so he automatically goes to retrieve the desired
alcohol and fills up a small glass. 
“Darling, that’s not enough! Oh just give me the whole damn bottle.” She
snatches the alcohol out of his grasp; her shiny red nails scratch the back of
his hand, causing blood to swell.
“I’m going over to Erik’s house now…,” Charles trails off waiting for a reply
that never comes. He stares hard at her head and tries to read her mind again,
but her thoughts don’t make sense and his cut from her nail starts to hurt. He
leaves without another word.
Erik had found out rather dramatically that he could move metal whenever he
wanted. It happened in the spring when they took Cain’s bright green four-
wheeler out of the garage when he was away with his father. Erik had stood and
watched from a grassy hill as Charles zoomed around him laughing. The strong
wind caused his hair to blow in his eyes obstructing his view when Charles took
a turn too sharply and rolled down the hill and out of sight. 
“Charles!” Erik had gone running down after him while watching in horror as the
four-wheeler continued to roll over Charles, boy and vehicle tumbled together
down the hill. Charles could only be seen briefly on the back of the four-
wheeler before it would roll over again. “Charles!” Erik yelled again when the
ground finally evened out with the four-wheeler on top. There was no movement
underneath.
“No.” He didn’t yell the word, but forcefully spoke it as he stretched out his
arm violently with fingers splayed. The four-wheeler jerked up and off the
small frame of his friend.
Late that night, Nina drove Charles back from the hospital with his head
stitched and bandaged. He realized as they drove off back to their own house
that the four-wheeler needed to be placed in the garage before Cain and Kurt
got home. So Charles went walking the three miles on the other side of his
house to where the big grassy hill was located all by himself. He would have
been with Erik, but Nina made him stay home to clean for having to drive his
“reckless little friend” to the hospital and “waste my gas for nothing”. Nina
didn’t mean to sound so evil, but she was really terrified. She wanted to shake
them both for playing on a four-wheeler with no adult supervision, and wasn’t
used to disciplining teenagers. Their reckless stunt could have killed Charles
or Erik and she’d grown to love them both. 
Charles had followed the freshly destroyed grass until he saw the bright green
of the four-wheeler. He thought he’d slowly drive it back home until his
flashlight took in the entire scene: The four-wheeler wasn’t just thrown, but
was crushed in on itself with the handles almost fused with the back tires.
Instead of being drivable it was a ball of angry metal. He couldn’t contain his
laughter. Charles wasn’t even afraid of the punishment.

Then there is Erik’s bigger problem. He didn’t ask for it, but when he
daydreams in class it isn’t about the prettiest or most popular girl in school,
it’s about Charles. Erik can just sit the whole hour in class thinking of ways
to make Charles laugh or impress him, just so he’d look up at Erik under his
lashes with his big blue eyes and smile that smile which makes him feel like...
kissing him. He wants to kiss Charles. Erik gets yelled at in gym class for not
going after the ball in soccer, because he’ll be standing there thinking about
what Charles’s lips would feel like pressed against his own. Does that pink
tongue taste different than his own? At night when Erik’s alone and touching
himself he thinks about what noises Charles makes if he was touching him
instead, would he bite his lip to keep the noises in. 
Erik doesn’t understand why, when they go swimming and Charles lies on the wood
deck, he wants to not just touch his bare skin, but to taste the droplets as
they slide down his friend’s neck and chest. Erik wants to push the wet hair
off Charles’s forehead and kiss his too red lips. The view of a wet and pliant
Charles lying on his back with his black trunks hanging low on slender hips
makes it difficult to lay flat without the rising bulge in his own trunks
becoming evident.
Erik lies down close enough for their shoulders to touch; Erik’s tanned skin
against Charles’s soon to be red and burnt body. Charles immediately turns his
face towards Erik with his eyes closed against the too bright sun and a smile
on his lips.
“Think of a word and I’ll tell you what it is.” Charles’s breath is hot against
his face and smells of peanut butter from the sandwiches they had for lunch,
but Erik thinks if he licks inside he can still find the traces of the lemonade
he was just drinking. This has become a game of theirs- for Charles to practice
reading thoughts.
“Not now, Charles.” Erik’s voice is almost a whisper back. Charles tilts his
head forwards so their foreheads touch. Their arms are pressed flush together
with even the backs of their hands touching; Charles’s right leg goes to lie
over Erik’s left to keep him anchored.
“It’ll be fun.” Charles answers Erik’s whisper with one of his own. His breath
goes straight into Erik’s mouth, causing Erik to inhale sharply. He could just
tilt his head slightly and they would be kissing. A drop of water rolls off the
brown hair tucked behind Charles’s ear, Erik’s eyes become fascinated and
follow the trail to the corner of his mouth where Charles quickly licks it
away. The sight of his pink tongue causes another sharp inhale from Erik.
“Don’t.” Erik’s voice is a hoarse command as if he’s been yelling for hours
instead of watching his best friend be unknowingly seductive. Charles can’t
read his mind now, not when his thoughts are this out of control. One look and
Charles will see how badly Erik has come to want him. Not just simply want, but
needs. Erik can’t imagine ever feeling so much for another.
Erik does imagine what it would be like to grow old with Charles. He imagines
what it’ll be like for Charles to gaze upon him with lust and affection. He
wants Charles to come home from work excited to tell him about what he’s
discovered, how much he couldn’t wait until he would share his day with Erik.
The image of them sharing dinner after a hard day isn’t a difficult one to
conjure since they do it already. The image of them rubbing against each other
heatedly, kissing all other each other’s body, falling asleep tangled together
is something he imagines every night. 
“C’mon… try something hard this time.” Out the corner of Erik’s eye he sees
Charles wiggle his fingers as he brings his left hand up to his forehead- it’s
the only way Charles can clear his own mind in anticipation of reading another.
“Charles, I said don’t.” Erik grabs the wandering left hand out of the air
while rolling over on top of Charles before he can make contact. “Don’t read my
mind.” His voice comes out almost like a growl.
“…Erik.” Charles’s response is almost a whimper, the noise causes Erik to
realize the position they’re in. Erik’s right leg is wedged tightly between
Charles’s own legs, there is no space between their hips, there is merely an
inch between their faces, and Erik’s erection is pressing into Charles’s
stomach. Both their breathing has sped up, but instead of rolling off, Erik is
trapped in his friend’s wide blue eyes.
Charles doesn’t have to touch his hand against his temple, because the wave of
want and need and ohgodCharles is hammering into his mind. Charles understands
his friend all too easily. He wants everything Erik does, but the difference is
he doesn’t want to want it. Charles is terrified of being so important to Erik.
They are already friends so why couldn’t that be enough? Why couldn’t Charles
have just wanted that to be enough? Of course Erik would feel that way for
Charles, because nothing is enough for him. He’s picked up on Erik’s thoughts
before, but there were never this strong or their bodies so close.
Erik goes to roll off to the side when he can finally tear his gaze away from
the clear blue of Charles’s eyes; however Charles’s knee comes up to stop his
movement.
“Don’t move.” His voice is so quiet Erik has to lean closer to hear. “Just stay
like this for awhile?”
“Forever.” 
Charles doesn’t mean to pick up Erik’s single word thought; he wants to cry,
but instead he wraps his arms around Erik’s sun warmed back to bury his face in
his friend’s neck. Erik silently brings his arms close to cradle Charles’s
head. 
Erik can not only hear his own heartbeat pounding in his ears, but can feel
Charles’s own heart beating rapidly in his chest. They don’t talk, the silence
is comfortable though. Erik’s arms shift slightly and soon they are completely
flush against each other, Erik’s weight heavy yet comforting on Charles. A
groan slips from Charles’s mouth into Erik’s ear at the contact. They are both
trying to memorize every single detail in case this doesn’t happen again. The
tension that’s been in Erik’s back slowly starts to drain as Charles’s finger
plays along his back and sides.
One hand finds the secret ticklish spot on his lower stomach, and he puts up a
useless battle to keep the soft laugh to himself. The hand dances away before
returning to the same spot to tickle again and again. The laughs get louder and
more high pitched. Erik will later groan to think he was actually giggling like
he was twelve again.
“Oh how the tables have turned, Mr. Lensherr!” Charles is notoriously ticklish
almost everywhere on his body.
“Char-- Charles!” Erik is full out giggling trying hard to catch his breath.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m getting revenge, my friend.” Charles manages to roll them over due to
Erik’s incapacitated state. “Sweet revenge!” His hands are relentless as they
tickle Erik’s lower stomach and sides. Erik puts up a fight and soon is able to
roll Charles off roughly; they are close to the edge of the lake, however, and
Charles gets thrown in. He lets out another loud laugh at the look on Charles’s
face after his head pops out of the water.
“I forgive you, Erik. I forgive you for your sudden, but enviable betrayal.”
His voice is deadly serious which just causes more laughter from Erik.
“You will always be the better man, Charles.”

They make their way later that night to Erik’s room and his tiny bed. Charles
doesn’t complain about his sun burned back, but Erik rubs in soothing ointment
just to feel his skin underneath his hands. They sleep wrapped in each other’s
arms and in the morning Charles is gone. 
Chapter End Notes
     Beta'd by the lovely Madneto!
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
                                 Chapter Three
“It’s a big day tomorrow, isn’t it?” Erik’s voice greets Charles as he steps
out of the bathroom that’s connected to his bedroom, towel busy drying his hair
from the shower. He can’t help but smile at the sound of Erik’s voice or the
view that greets him. Erik’s long form is stretched out on his bed already in
his pajamas which consists of an old Misfits t-shirt and soft light blue
boxers. Charles’s pajamas are, of course, a blue silk matching set that cost
the same as Erik’s electric bill, but they’re tad too small since they were
given to him as a Christmas present two years prior (he doesn’t go clothes
shopping often).

“Just one year older, Erik.” He throws the damp towel at Erik’s head and he
doesn’t even bother to dodge, but simply laughs with the towel blocking his
view. Charles takes the opportunity of a blinded Erik to jump on the bed
causing their bodies to bump together. Erik tears the towel off his face to
throw it on the floor before tackling Charles. “Easy!” Charles’s voice rises as
they almost take a dive off the bed from Erik’s overexcited tackle.

Every year the day before one of their birthdays, they have a sleep over. That
way when the clock strikes midnight they are together and can celebrate by
themselves before Nina makes a big deal about it, spending all day singing to
them and cooking. This year, though, Charles’s birthday falls on a Friday and
his mother has decided to throw an early dinner since Kurt and Cain are coming
home for the weekend. Charles would much rather spend it when Nina’s fussing,
but he can’t say no to Sharon.

“I won’t be able to call you, young man, anymore!” Erik cries out his
exaggerated dismay before burying his face in Charles’s stomach, hands coming
up to tickle at his sides mercilessly. Charles flops around like a fish on dry
land, trying hard not to laugh. His shirt where Erik’s head is still buried
lifts a little showing skin, so Erik takes the opportunity to blow messy
raspberries wherever possible. Finally Charles erupts in breathless laughter.
Erik loves the moments when he can tickle Charles into a fit of hysteria. It
helps Charles let go of stress and Erik would never complain of being able to
touch his friend in places where he wouldn’t normally be allowed to. He hopes
that one day he’ll be able to touch and caress Charles without the pretense of
it being a joke.

The giggles Erik’s raspberries excite fill the quiet upstairs. The mansion only
hears happiness like this when Erik and Charles are there. “God, he’s so
beautiful.” Charles doesn’t mean to hear Erik’s private thoughts, but he can’t
control it and Erik thinks so loudly it’s almost as if he wants Charles to
hear.

Sometimes it’s an uncomplicated, “I need to pee,”or a quiet, “I woke up alone
again this morning, why does he leave?” Erik won’t guard his thoughts now: that
day on the deck by the lake has shown him Charles isn’t completely appalled by
him and secretly he wants his friend to listen in. Charles more often than not
pretends he doesn’t hear.

Charles knows they can no longer fall asleep like they used to, wrapped tightly
in each other’s arms and legs, face buried in Erik’s shoulder, and Erik’s
fingers drawing pictures on his back. They are getting older and Erik’s
feelings are already damaged by Charles’s need to distance himself. He doesn’t
stay over as often or even the whole night anymore.

He wants Erik to have the family he so craves and Charles is just a distraction
from that. They are best friends, will remain best friends probably their whole
lives, but that’s all they will ever be. Nothing more. Sleeping in each other’s
beds, cuddling during the daytime, spending all their free time together, that
all seemed okay when they were younger, but Charles will be fifteen tomorrow
and Erik is already a few months older. It’s time for them to grow out of those
old childish habits.

Erik’s hands come up to Charles’s side to pull his top higher up so he can blow
more raspberries. Charles’s writhing body tries to buck him off, his arms
pushing helplessly at Erik’s head, fingers pulling in his hair, but to no
avail. Charles’s face is flushed, and his laughter is so boisterous that
breathing has become difficult.

“I can’t breathe!” He cries out hoarsely before falling back into a giggling
fit that shakes the whole bed. Erik’s actions slow down along with Charles’s
giggles. His actions still before becoming gentler; instead of blowing
raspberries Erik’s open mouth lingers on his stomach and slides across
Charles’s slightly damp chest. Charles isn’t laughing anymore, but inhaling and
exhaling sharply. Erik’s lips ghost over Charles’s flat sternum and down to the
top of his belly button, they circle around slowly until Charles feels them
press down into a kiss. They both let out a deep moan at the same time, the
vibration from Erik’s mouth causing goose bumps to rise on his skin.

Erik’s torso is cradled by Charles’s legs so he feels Charles’s arousal
building against him. His kisses rain down on the pale skin below him, the
fingers that were once pulling his head away are now keeping him in place, and
the mewling sounds filling his ears make him bolder. Instead of chaste kisses
he opens his mouth slightly and licks at a rib only visible when Charles
inhales sharply.

“Erik, stop!” Charles jerks his whole body roughly to the side to successfully
dislodge Erik. The command is fiercely spoken, but with a desperate edge to it
as if talking to himself and Erik.

“I’m sorry.” Erik doesn’t know what else to say as he stares at Charles who is
straightening his clothes, still turned away. They are both panting, trying to
catch their breath. Erik’s trying to force his uncomfortable erection down and
by Charles’s rigid posture he’s doing the same. He doesn’t understand why
Charles stopped him, but he feels stupid and his heart hurts.

“We can’t do that.” Charles sounds to be on the verge of tears, causing Erik to
receive another painful shot to his chest knowing he did that to his best
friend; his erection immediately disappears.

“Oh god, please don’t be mad. Please don’t be mad.” Charles chokes back a sob
when he hears Erik’s desperate thoughts.

“I’m not mad.” He wants to put Erik’s mind at rest and the thought of
explaining exactly why they can’t continue down on that path would be the
opposite. “We’re just too young. We shouldn’t be doing that. Remember what Nina
said?”

Nina, as a fifteenth birthday rite, had given the birds and the bees’ speech
rather painfully to Erik on his own big day. Charles was present at the time as
he seemed to always be. The two boys thought they were sitting at the small
kitchen table waiting for Erik’s birthday cake, but Nina had nervously sat down
with something stuffed into her apron and grabbed Erik’s arm dramatically.

“Erik, you’re fifteen now. I know there are lots of hormones and stuff like
that running through your body.” Erik tried to unsuccessfully talk her out of
discussing what was now apparently the worse speech imaginable for any young
teen to hear. Charles just chuckled and kicked him under the table. Nina let
out a huff before continuing on. “Let me finish, I’ve read it in a book! Just
don’t have sex… yet. You are too young and it only complicates things in your
life. It’ll make enemies out of friends. Wait until you’re older and more
mature, okay Liebling?” Erik’s only response was to nod with his mouth hanging
open. “Please tell me you understand so I don’t have to explain what sex is or
what it means.”

Nina reaches in her apron and brings out a book titled, “Sex: What It Is and
What It Means” in her hands. Charles’s guffaw breaks the awkward silence where
Erik was just staring at the book and Nina sweating impatiently. Charles tried
covering his mouth with his hand quickly, but Nina’s gaze moved to him.

“Same goes for you, Charlie boy. I’ll be keeping an eye on you two lads.”
Charles’s mind immediately rushes to the myriad times when they cuddle up on
the bed in Erik’s room or sit a little too closely on the living room floor
watching television. “If I see a girl hanging off either of you… all hell will
break loose!”

Nina had told them sex would complicate their lives, but frankly Erik didn’t
care. Obviously Charles did though, so Erik would wait.

“I understand, I’m sorry.” Erik says it a little too quickly, but Charles turns
towards him to see how honest he looks.

“You don’t have to apologize.” Charles tries to smile and fails rather
horribly; he looks tired and worn out. Erik nods silently not really
understanding. “Let’s just go to sleep, okay?” Erik doesn’t fight him on that;
he rolls over to face the wall with his knees brought up, an open invitation.
Charles feels if he put his back to Erik, it would break something rather
fragile between them, and though Charles knows he should, he just doesn’t want
that delicate connection between them to snap just yet. So instead of facing
away, Charles wraps his arms around Erik’s middle loosely, spooning his back,
with his breath heating up Erik’s neck.

“Happy birthday, Charles.” His voice is quiet as if not to disturb the peace
between them.

“It’s not midnight yet, old man.” Charles tries to lighten the mood by head-
butting the back of Erik lightly.

“Then wake me up at midnight and I’ll tell you again.” Erik’s smile is evident
in his voice, thankful for Charles’s humor.

Two hours later the clock on the wall strikes midnight silently and Charles
presses a soft kiss on the back of Erik’s neck. He doesn’t wake.
For Charles’s birthday, Sharon forces him to stay in the house and not, “Run
off by yourself all the time.” If he reminded her of Erik, she’d just get more
upset about him spending more time with a boy that’s practically a stranger
instead of his own step-brother, so he and Erik have made plans to meet at the
hideout after the dinner at seven o’clock. Now, Charles is wearing an
uncomfortably tight suit, waiting for the cooks hired especially for that day
to finish dinner and for Kurt and Cain to show up. They were supposed to get
home at noon. He can already tell it’s going to be awful from how much alcohol
Sharon has imbibed.
Erik had made a special gift for Charles’s birthday. His friend is always
encouraging him to use his powers more and practice, so Erik has made Charles a
necklace with his abilities. It took him all day to take a small sliver of
silver and force it to bend gently again and again into a small spiral, and
another hour to fuse it to a small chain.

Afterwards, Erik had a headache he felt would never go away, and Charles kept
asking him where he’d been. They’ve never spent so long apart without checking
in, which is why Erik is worried at 8:30 and there is still no sign of Charles
coming through the trees. He keeps walking to the edge of the woods to see the
mansion, almost as if to make sure it was still standing, before turning back
around to the hideout. Charles told him to wait for him and so he’ll wait. It’s
after ten o’clock before Erik hears the familiar crunching of branches getting
closer. He can’t make out Charles’s face since he’s walking hunched over,
holding his ribs.

“What took you so long?” Erik doesn’t mean for his voice to sound so angry, but
it does anyways. It’s brighter in the hideout though, and after the words are
out of his mouth he finally sees what Charles has been trying to hide. It looks
like Charles tried to hastily scrub his face clean, but Erik can still see
clearly the dried blood on his mouth, the darkening eye, the washed cut cheek
that’s still slightly bleeding, and Charles is holding his ribs as if they pain
him.

White hot anger shoots through Erik causing the flimsy metal roofing to bend
upwards violently and crash back down loudly. Charles flinches away from the
sound and finally looks up from where he was staring at his feet to meet Erik’s
wild eyes.

“Cain?” Erik knows its Cain’s doing, because Kurt is precise when he hits to
cause minimum amount of blood (he doesn’t like it on his suits). Charles’s face
is a mess of uncontrolled fists and rage from Cain, who hasn’t learned
restraint just yet.

The metal hinges pull the hideout’s door completely off the small building as
Erik shoves it open.

“Erik, please! Where are you going?” Charles tries to grab Erik’s arm to halt
his steps. “Calm your mind, my friend.” All Charles can read off the surface of
Erik’s mind is anger and fury; he wants to destroy Cain.

“We are better than them, Charles! When are you going to stand up for yourself
and show them you aren’t to be pushed around? If you won’t then I will.”
Charles’s watch clad wrist is pulled from Erik’s arm by an invisible force.

“They’ll be gone by Monday… and Sharon.” Erik cuts him off by turning around
abruptly.

“Sharon doesn’t give a fuck about you, Charles.” The truth is like a slap in
the face, but Erik has to make Charles understand. “I do though. I care more
about you than your own mother and I won’t let them tear you apart.” Erik’s
hands cradle Charles’s face gently, keeping away from the bruises. “I won’t let
them hurt you anymore.”

“Erik, please don’t do this.” It’s clear due to the crushed expression on
Erik’s face that that wasn’t what he wanted to hear. There’s a slight tug on
Charles’s belt and then suddenly he’s being pulled backwards into the hideout.
The belt refuses to allow him to sit up from where he’s landed on the floor. He
continues to yell as Erik walks away.

There is no reply and the necklace lays forgotten on the floor.
 
It takes Erik under five minutes to find Cain in Charles’s father’s study,
tearing out pages from journals. Cain is a massive boy with his father’s build
(stocky, barrel chested, and with large beefy hands), a square jaw, and a shock
of red hair on top. He doesn’t turn around when Erik enters the room until the
lock is clicked shut behind him.

“The fuck do you want?” There isn’t a mark on Cain’s face; Charles didn’t even
try to fight back.

“You did this to yourself.” Erik raises his hand, feeling his power flow out
from him to the metal paper weight on the desk behind Cain.

“Did what?” Cain follows where Erik’s eyes are staring; the metal weight comes
crashing into his face breaking his nose, spraying blood across the desk. Erik
can feel the metal crush bone “My fucking nose!”

He doesn’t even have to concentrate to send the metal desk lamp smashing into
the back of Cain’s head causing the boy to fall to his knees. Erik focuses on
all the tiny metal objects scattered about the room; paperclips, thumbtacks,
screws, and nails all fly through the air, bombarding Cain, cutting into his
flesh, causing him to cry out.

“Erik, stop.” Charles’s voice is inside his head, but Erik keeps concentrating,
making the metal cut a little more into Cain’s flesh; his cries get louder.
“ENOUGH.”

Blood is dripping from the side of Cain’s face where a paperclip has sliced
open his cheek.

“You will not hurt Charles again.” Erik brings the metal paperweight under
Cain’s chin to force his head upwards, making eye contact. “If you or your
father marks his skin again, I will be back.” The paperweight digs into the
skin of his chin, straining Cain’s head towards the ceiling painfully.
“Understood?”

“Yes, yes I understand.” The fear in Cain’s eyes lets Erik know just how well
he comprehends. All the metal drops back down becoming inanimate once again.
Erik leaves the room without another word. When he gets back to the hideout,
Charles is gone, and his abilities are drained.
 
Kurt doesn’t believe Cain when his son tells him floating objects attacked him.
He threatens his son if he ever tells anybody about whatever happened to him
that night, he’ll find himself locked up in an insane asylum. When Charles
comes home that night he runs into Cain in the hallway, the cuts (that should
really be stitched, but Kurt refuses to take him to the hospital) and the many
bruises only gives him a glimpse of what actually happened.

He feels betrayed that Erik would break the promise to never interfere with
Kurt or Cain- he thought Erik understood that scaring Kurt away means losing
his mother. In a different situation, Charles would have been proud of how
strong Erik’s powers have become, but instead he was afraid for Cain and what
Erik would do. He felt the pain from Cain as the metal dug into his skin, and
the wrath that was oozing from Erik as he easily manipulated the objects to
cause more damage. He could feel the pain from Cain, and the rage from Erik;
what was actually said between Erik and Cain is still a mystery. Charles
doesn’t know what Erik actually did and he doesn’t want to know.

Whatever was said and done scared Cain so badly that he had begged his father
to never come back. Charles has never heard his step-brother beg for anything,
he only demanded. This makes him worried for his mother and what will become of
her since Kurt gave in to Cain and left earlier than was planned. Sharon was so
upset she broke all the mirrors on the first floor, and screamed about how Kurt
doesn’t want her anymore.

Charles remembers once when he had a rather nasty black eye and Erik had done
everything he could to cheer him up. Erik had even brought out his “Camp
German” impression which he hates doing, but knows Charles loves.

“Mein handy! Vhere ist mein handy?” Erik would cry out as he looked around his
small room, Charles perched on his bed laughing. Nobody would have guessed that
such a somber boy would be willing to be completely ridiculous just to place a
smile on his best friend’s face. Erik is willing to do that and more to keep
Charles happy. When that happiness is threatened another side of Erik shows,
and his desire to destroy anything that might shatter Charles’s smile consumes
him. His reactions show exactly how much he cares for his friend. This
terrifies Charles.

The next afternoon Erik shows up on the deck where Charles has been sitting,
thinking about what to do next. Charles feels Erik’s panicked mind before he
sees his shadow moving around him.

“I wanted to give you this yesterday.” Erik dangles a necklace in Charles’s
line of view. “Your birthday present.” He clarifies, his voice filled with
nerves. Charles takes it gently, his thumb brushes over the silver spiral. “I
made it myself.”

“It’s marvelous, Erik.” It truly is the most beautiful thing anybody has ever
given to him, and he finds himself trying to hold back tears. Charles finds it
hard to look at something so delicate and refined that Erik made himself when
he saw not too long ago something so ugly and violent that Erik was also
responsible for. He slips it over his head anyway as Erik sits down next to
him.

“I won’t apologize for last night.” Erik breaks the awkward silence that was
stretching between them.

“You should-” Charles isn’t able to finish the sentence before Erik interrupts.

“I won’t apologize, Charles.” Erik looks at him like he doesn’t understand, his
voice firm and loud.

“You said we are better than them, but how does using violence to solve
violence show anyone that we’re better?” Charles rushes to say it all before
Erik has a chance to interrupt, wet eyes locked on each other.

“I did it out of love.” Erik’s honesty forces Charles to look away and a sob
breaks free. He finds himself not able to contain the tears and broken sounds
coming from his mouth. Love. Charles has never heard Erik even say that word to
Nina, hasn’t heard that word directed towards himself for so long (if ever). He
wants to cherish this moment, savor it, remember Erik’s voice for when things
get too hard, lock it away safely, but instead he feels panicked. His chest
aches painfully and the world seems to be spinning around him so he closes his
eyes tightly, blocking it all out. Erik places his hand on Charles’s shoulder,
thumb rubbing soothingly back and forth.

If Charles was raised differently, if he was brought up to believe that love
will help you instead of break you, if Charles didn’t see the example of how
love can destroy you completely like it did to his own mother, then maybe
Charles could allow himself to not flinch away from Erik’s touch or be able to
say it back. But Charles is broken and Erik loves too fiercely.

“I think we need some time apart, Erik.”  

“I was trying to help and you punish me for it?” Charles can hear tears in
Erik’s voice, and if he was weaker he’d jump up and tell him it was all a joke,
please don’t look so sad. “How long was I supposed to watch you get beaten up?”
Erik grabs Charles’s arm when he makes a move to stand. “You think too poorly
of me.”

“Let go of my arm.” Erik would hold Charles if he could, but his powers are
drained and he can only feel the slight tingle from the necklace around
Charles’s neck. “You’re hurting me.” It’s a lie, but Erik immediately lets go.
He watches as Charles stands and walks away to his house.

“Please don’t leave me alone.” Erik doesn’t raise his voice and Charles
pretends not to hear him.

Charles stops speaking to Erik, because he doesn’t know what to say.
 
                                Two weeks later
Erik hasn’t been to Charles’s house or the hideout for two weeks. He cares
about Charles deeply and would do anything for him (as he’s already proved),
but he refuses to be the first to break about something he isn’t apologetic
for; if anything he wishes he could have beaten Cain sooner. Erik wants Charles
to come to him and let him know that he isn’t he only one feeling so broken
down. Late at night, Erik does allow himself to concentrate and seek out the
familiar hum of the necklace he had given Charles. Erik knows he wears it,
because sometimes he can feel it pacing around the giant mansion after
midnight.

Charles believes he is helping Erik by keeping away. The distance both
physically and mentally kills him, and he knows how willful his friend can be.
Erik won’t be the first to break. He knows Erik didn’t ask to love Charles and
Charles is breaking his heart. He believes this heartache and pain is what he
has to go through to survive life unlike his mother. He can’t spend all his
life pining for somebody when he has so many goals he wants to achieve. Charles
won’t waste away in a red parlor with alcohol as his only companion. After this
heartbreak is over they can get back to being friends and only friends.

“This is your first fight? It seems a little dramatic to me.” Nina is once
again making Erik cookies to try and cheer him up (for the third time this
week). Erik won’t tell her what has caused this riff between them, but she
thinks it has something to do with a girl. She keeps finding what appears to be
love letters wadded up all over his floor. “Maybe you can get a job so you
aren’t moping around all the time looking lovesick.”

“I’m not lovesick.” Erik’s voice sounds stronger than it has in weeks.

“Whatever you say, Liebling.” Her comment sends him into an even fouler mood
and he spends the rest of the day out of the house, which is an improvement
from following her around actually listening to her ramble about nonsense. She
doesn’t think it’s healthy for a teenage boy to be so interested to what their
crazy aunt has to say.

It’s late at night when Charles finally goes over to Erik’s house, but it isn’t
in the circumstances Erik would have hoped. Instead of Charles telling him how
sorry he is and how much he missed Erik, there are tears running down his eyes,
he has a bloody nose, and is barefoot in his pajamas.

“Erik, you have to help me!” Charles startles Erik awake by crawling through
his open window, falling on top of him.

“What’s wrong?” Erik immediately turns his lamp on to take in Charles’s
disarray.

“I can’t control it anymore, Erik! You have to stop thinking. It’s all I can
hear. They are all thinking at me and I can’t handle it.” Charles presses his
hands to his ears as if that would stop all the thoughts bombarding his mind.
He feels like his mind will explode if the voices just don’t quiet down. He
woke up almost two hours ago hearing Sharon dreaming about having children that
look like Kurt, Nina wondering if they have enough milk for breakfast, Erik
having a nightmare involving fire and Charles, a girl thinking about her
growling stomach, and the neighbor thinking about shooting a raccoon that keeps
knocking over his trashcan. After the first few minutes of trying to calmly
block everything out it only got worse and his range expanded to more people.

“Charles, you’re bleeding.” The tissue that Charles hastily stuffed up his nose
is once again drenched in blood. Erik quickly gets up to get a wet towel from
the small bathroom down the hall. “This will help.” He carefully cleans off the
dried blood from his nose and upper lip.

“It hurts.” His voice comes out as a whimper. Erik doesn’t know what to do as
he looks at his small friend rocking back and forth. “Nina is dreaming… Erik. I
can’t control it! I can’t control it… make it stop. Everybody is thinking so
loudly and it won’t stop. Please do something.”

“I don’t know what to do.” Erik puts his hands on either side of Charles’s
face, and starts to rub soothing circles on his temples. They are sitting
cross-legged on Erik’s too small bed facing each other. Charles’s pain is
evident on his face, his incredibly blue eyes filled with tears.

“I know you don’t know what to do…” He trails off, squeezing his eyes shut to
try and block everything out again. “Erik, please.”

The begging breaks something inside Erik and without thinking he leans in to
press his mouth against Charles’s open lips, instead of pushing him away he
clings to Erik. His cold fingers grab onto Erik’s neck, holding him in place.

“Don’t stop.” Charles means what he gasps out, because when Erik kissed him all
the thoughts quieted down. They are still there, but they aren’t screaming at
him for attention. He can feel the hum of Erik’s own thoughts and it calms him
further. Charles doesn’t know it yet, but years from now whenever thoughts get
a little too loud he’ll think back to this moment and all becomes clear again.

Charles’s tongue pushes at Erik’s lips, demanding entrance, causing him to gasp
and wrap his arms around his friend’s smaller frame. Neither of them has kissed
anyone else before, so it’s messy and a bit too rough, Charles’s fingers
digging into Erik’s scalp, Erik’s teeth biting at Charles’s tongue.

“Oh god, he tastes like pennies and toothpaste. Best flavor in the world is his
mouth.”

“It’s blood.” Charles gasps out, reading Erik’s mind. “You’re such a weirdo
sometimes, Erik.” The happiness in his voice gives Erik confidence to run his
hands down Charles’s back to grasp at his pajama clad buttocks, bringing
Charles almost into his lap. “Easy, there.” Their previous position causes his
leg to bend awkwardly to the side, so Charles wraps his legs around Erik’s
middle to sit more comfortably. It doesn’t even cross his mind that they
shouldn’t be doing this here or now or ever. Instead of thinking he simply
latches his mouth back to Erik’s lips.

Their new position brings the realization to Erik that Charles is just as hard
as he is and he can’t help but buck up while putting his hands on Charles’s
shoulders to grind him down against his erection. Charles pulls his mouth away
to cry out sharply; his pajama pants wet with precome, preventing him from
obtaining the skin on skin contact he desperately craves.

Erik uses the opportunity to take in the sight of Charles in his lap, face more
flushed than he’s ever seen him, hair sticking every which way thanks to Erik’s
hands, lips red and swollen, and his hips are writhing about trying to get
friction.

“Oh god, Erik.” Charles covers Erik’s eyes with his hand. “Don’t look at me.
You’re thoughts are filthy.” Erik chuckles while bringing the fingers down to
kiss and suck. “Bloody hell.” Charles suddenly pushes him back roughly to lay
flat on the bed, hands working Erik’s string pajama bottoms down to expose his
overheated erection to the cold air. Erik inhales sharply, watching Charles do
the same to his own pajamas. He rocks himself forward until their naked cocks
touch, they groan in unison. Erik’s hands shoot up to grab at Charles’s
shoulder, bringing him down to lick open his mouth, diving his tongue in, while
their lower bodies move together. Charles is grinding down while Erik is
pushing up, their arms wrapped tightly together.

Charles can feel Erik’s orgasm rising from the base of his own spine, their
thoughts woven so tightly together he can’t make out his own.

“So beautiful,” “Harder,” “Faster,” “More,” “Love you.”

Erik pulls his mouth away to bury his face in Charles’s neck to keep from
falling apart as he comes in between their bodies. Charles is seconds after him
crying out a little too loudly; biting his lip and pulling Erik’s hair roughly.

“Wow.” Charles is the first to break the silence after what seems like hours,
their positions still the same. Erik hasn’t even complained about his weight
crushing him or the sticky wetness between them; he is completely blissed-out.
Charles’s mind still isn’t filled with loud thoughts, only a quiet hum of
awareness for all the minds around him. He slowly extracts himself from Erik,
trying to keep his eyes from staring at his exposed flesh, and goes to sit at
the foot of the bed. Charles takes the soiled shirt off and bundles it in a
ball.

“Thank you, my friend.” His chest hurts and strong feeling of wrongness settles
over him. He shouldn’t have to deny what he wants, but it’s for the best.
Charles tries to keep repeating in his mind that’s its better for both of them,
that he isn’t being selfish. “I needed that; thought my head was going to
explode.”

“No problem.” A self-deprecating laugh escapes Erik’s mouth. “If you ever need
to use me again… I’m here.”

“I wasn’t trying to use you, Erik.” Charles realizes that’s exactly what it
sounds and looks like, but he didn’t come to Erik for this. He never would have
given Erik hope for something that can never be, and rutting against each other
like animals has not only messed with Erik’s head, but with Charles as well.
How is he supposed to distance himself now while still keeping Erik as a
friend? He can’t picture himself in the future without Erik by his side… as his
best friend. “But, I don’t think we should do that again.”

“You didn’t like it?” Desperation, heartbreak, failure, and rejection are
coming off Erik’s mind in waves causing Charles to almost double over.

“I think it’s pretty obvious that I liked it.” Erik visibly relaxes and smiles
shyly. Charles continues on even though he knows that smile will vanish. “But
we shouldn’t do it again.” Erik’s jaw tightens; Charles can hear the thoughts
running through his head, wanting to explain. “You have to understand that I
have plans in life and I can’t…” He runs his hands through his hair trying to
figure out how to make Erik understand. “I can’t turn into my mother.”

Instead of a look of understanding appearing on Erik’s face, he just looks more
confused and angry.

“What are you talking about? You think I’ll drive you to drink?” Erik finally
stands up to change his soiled clothes; his movements are quick and angry, like
he wants to really shake Charles instead of the clothes in his hands.

“No, no… you don’t understand. Please just listen.” Charles grabs Erik’s arm to
pull him back down after he puts on fresh boxers. “You’re my best friend,
Erik.” He keeps eye contact trying to force him to listen. “I hope that never
changes. Please remember that. I don’t want to lose your friendship.”

“You’ll always have me.” Erik takes Charles’s hand still resting on his arm to
put it on over his chest, over his heart. “In all ways.”

“I should get home.” Charles forces himself to break the tension building
between them. Erik goes to rummage around in his dressers for clothes that
would fit him while Charles sits and thinks about what to do next.
 
Charles is wearing a pair of Erik’s old shorts, held up with kite string, and a
cheesy Christmas sweater Erik forced upon him. His friend laughed so hard at
him he was gasping for air when Charles pulled his head through the neck hole,
hair flat on his forehead. He found it surprisingly easy to joke around with
Erik after they were both dressed.

Erik also forced him to put on some of his old rain boots before he set off in
the woods. Charles is thankful for that since the path to his home is paved in
branches and sharp rocks. His feet are still sore from his early run through
them.

He takes his time making his way towards the prison he calls home, for now
anyways. Charles vows he’ll leave for college with Erik if possible, and it’ll
become just a mansion again. His childhood home will become just a sad building
with a mad woman inside and far too many unwanted memories. Charles won’t
become another prisoner, always drunk, and waiting for Erik to return to him.
He is at the edge of the woods when he hears the foreign tiny girlish voice
thinking about his food in the refrigerator.

“Half of this stuff is going bad! If I lived here none of this food would be
wasted. Moldy chocolate cake! What is wrong with these people?” Charles goes to
run around the lake, but the rain boots hinder him causing him to trip and
fall, bloodying his knee. He pulls himself up and winces at the tiny rocks he
can feel that made their way underneath his skin; it doesn’t stop him, though,
from walking quickly to find out who is inside his house.  

“Ooooh turkey AND ham sandwich, this is gonna rock.” Charles can hear drawers
opening and plates being moved around, he turns the corner expecting to see a
small girl, not his mother.

“Who are you?” He demands walking into the room. Not-Sharon turns around
panicked and quickly puts on a sickly sweet smile. She is wearing her fancy red
dress, large pearls, and hair nicely done up. Charles hasn’t seen his mother in
anything but black for the last five years.

“Darling!” Not-Sharon coos at him stepping forwards. “What are you doing out of
bed?”

“What are you doing sober?” The question startles Not-Sharon; her eyes go big-
it’s a look Charles hasn’t ever seen on his mother’s face. “Who are you? You
aren’t my mother.”

“Of course I am, Sweetums.” Her walking is stilted like she hasn’t worn heels
before or at least not five inches. “You look like you’ve hurt your knee… I’ll
clean it for you, poor dear.”

“Who are you? My mother has never cared about my cuts unless I’m bleeding on
the carpet.”Charles has never tried putting thoughts into somebody else’s head,
but by Not-Sharon’s look of surprise followed by her raising her hands up to
her temples he must have succeeded. “What have you done with my mother?”

Not-Sharon slowly starts morphing from the head down into what appears to be a
girl with deep blue skin, scales, and slicked back red hair. She is also much
shorter than Sharon and younger as well; probably younger than Charles himself.
His face breaks into a large grin and the small blue girl looks confused at his
happiness.

“You’re not… scared of me?” Her voice no longer sounds eerily like his
mother’s, but small and scared.

“I knew Erik and I weren’t the only ones that were different!” He wants to run
over and hug her, but that would probably scare her off. “I’m Charles Xavier.”
He holds out his hand for the small girl who slowly shakes it.

“Raven.” The massive sandwich she was in the middle of making sits on the
counter behind her untouched.

“Go ahead and eat, Raven. You don’t have to feel scared anymore… or hungry.
You’ll never have to steal again!” They sit at the island in the kitchen,
Charles watching her eat, and talking about their lives for what seems like
hours. Raven is twelve and has been by herself since her foster parents found
out about her blue form. She was too young to control being transformed into a
“normal” looking young girl for such long periods of time without slipping up,
showing off her blue skin, or suddenly sporting strangely yellow eyes. Her
foster sister at the time was always around to see these little slip-ups, but
her foster parents only thought she just didn’t like Raven. Sadly a few days
later at the dinner table they all sat stunned at the newly blue creature
sitting, eating their pot roast.

She realized at a very young age to morph into other toddlers unless she wanted
to go hungry. Nobody at the orphanage wanted to hold a blue, scaly baby.
Charles promises that not only will she never go hungry again, but she has
found a place where she belongs. He can’t wait to introduce her to Erik. Raven
could tell by how animated Charles became, constantly smiling widely with
sometimes a dazed look in his eyes and sometimes biting his lip in
concentration, when he told her of Erik. That he was really important, funny,
amazing, fantastic, powerful… she couldn’t wait to meet him.

“It’s us against the world!” She exclaimed excitedly thinking about the three
of them forming a super group better than everybody else. Charles didn’t want
to be against the world, but let Raven rejoice and knew Erik would like her
just as much as he does.   
 
Chapter End Notes
     "Mein Handy" belongs to the brilliant man, Stephen Fry.
***** Chapter 4 *****


Erik doesn’t get to meet Raven until the following Monday. That weekend Charles
spends his time showing Raven around the house, getting her settled, and
watching her eat enormous amounts of food. He shows her around the many floors
and rooms, giving her an impromptu history lesson about the Xavier family since
she is now a part of it. She picks the pastel room down the hall from Charles
as her bedroom.
The third floor is usually quiet and empty except for Charles. The other
members of the household have chosen rooms that don’t carry memories of the
dead Mr. Xavier (third floor having housed Charles’s father’s childhood room).
Now he often wakes up to hearing Raven roller-skating up and down the hall.
Raven thought she’d have to impersonate a member of the help that shows up
biweekly, but Charles firmly shook his head claiming she is now  family . He
drags her off on the second day of their acquaintance to introduce her to his
mother, who was unaware of the noisy new guest.
“Who is she?” Charles is surprised at Sharon’s direct question to Raven who has
transformed into a pretty young girl with dirty blonde hair and green eyes.
Usually his mother pretends to know what’s going on even when she doesn’t; a
habit she picked up being married to her unpredictable husband.
“This is cousin Raven, mother. Uncle Darkholme’s child?” Charles smiles sweetly
at her as Raven curtsies.  “Don’t do that.”  He immediately directs the thought
at Raven who almost falls to the floor in mid bow. Raven doesn’t actually know
how to interact with other people since she’s been on her own for so long. She
takes what she’s seen in movies (one of her favorite hobbies was sneaking into
somebody’s home late at night and watching their movies while they slept) as
how to interact in real life. Her favorite movies were the ones with big
dresses, white wigs, and funny accents, hence the bowing.
“Hello Aunt Sharon.” Raven thinks about going to kiss her hand like in all
those fancy movies she’s seen in other people’s houses, but Charles grabs her
wrist firmly to stop her movement. “Don’t you remember me?”
“Of course, darling!” Sharon stands up from where she’s sprawled out on the
chaise lounge to give her an air kiss on her cheek. “Why are you wearing boy’s
clothes?” Charles had completely forgotten he had dressed her up in his old
Star Wars t-shirt and basketball shorts.
“Lost luggage!” Charles chimes in immediately, creasing his brow as if in
regret. “Poor thing has no choice.” His mother tsks her tongue and tells them
to go phone the driver; she wants them to spare no expense on clothing her
dearest and most favorite niece.
“Is she always like that?” Raven had asked later as they were on their way to
buy clothes, just her, Charles, and the elderly driver.
“It’s not so bad.” Charles gives her a weak smile; he doesn’t want her to run
away because of his mother’s actions.
“Yeah, I guess not if you have someone like Erik… when are we going to see him
anyway? It sounded like you two spent every waking moment together.” Raven is
already half in love with Erik just by hearing Charles go on and on about him.
“I’ll introduce you two soon. And we have our own lives.” Charles can’t explain
why he feels apprehensive about the two of them meeting. Erik is just so
important to him and now Raven is important as well… he doesn’t know what will
happen if Erik doesn’t like her. Charles does think it’ll be good for him not
to spend his whole time around Erik, or waiting impatiently to run and see him.
Raven will help him break up his Erik obsessed life. Now he’ll have Raven to
listen to his rambles and maybe Charles and
Erik’s confusing feelings for each other will go away once there’s some space
between them.
Erik automatically thinks that the weekend of no Charles is just his friend
needing some time away because of what happened between them the other night.
He’d love nothing else but to repeat that night over and over again (and he has
in his head when alone), but he knows Charles isn’t ready yet and he’ll wait
until he is.
When Monday arrives, Erik is expecting Charles to knock on his window, which is
usually what he does when he comes home from school. Erik is usually busying
himself doing homework on his bed, waiting eagerly for Charles’s three knocks
on the glass before he can throw the books away. However, this day there is no
knock and Erik can’t concentrate on the paper in front of him.
Usually Charles is home within a half hour of Erik’s walk home, but it’s almost
a full hour and still no Charles. He starts thinking that Kurt has retaliated
from Erik’s attack after the first ten minutes of Charles being late.
Erik quickly runs through the woods imagining a bloody Charles curled up in a
ball when he walks into Charles’s bedroom, but instead he hears girlish
laughter coming from the hideout as he’s about to pass it.
“Charles?” The laughter stops abruptly and a girl comes running around the
corner of the hideout. There’s a split second where he thinks some neighborhood
kids have invade their space, but then the girl’s eyes go wide like she is
recognizing him.
“Erik!” She runs up and throws her arms around his neck, her shorter height
causing him to dip down roughly; his arms dangle at his side. “I’m so glad I
finally get to meet you.”
“Umm.” The girl pulls back and smiles brightly into his confused face. “Who-who
are you?”
“Oh geez, I’m so sorry.” She finally takes her arms away from around his neck
and laughs bashfully, bringing her arms around her back. “I’m Raven!” Raven
says it as if it should mean something to Erik.
“Who?” Erik looks up when Charles comes following after the girl. Relief washes
over him. He feels like he hasn’t seen Charles in such a long time, so he
allows his eyes to trail up and down his short frame.
“Erik, this is Raven,” Charles introduces them nervously, fidgeting with his
hands. “She’s going to be our third musketeer!” He smiles at Erik, but his
friend can read a mixture of emotions on his Charles’s face; hope, nervousness,
and a bit of guilt. “I found her after I left you Friday night.”
“What was she a birthday present from your mother?” Erik doesn’t understand
anything and doesn’t like how Raven looks at Charles like he’s the best thing
to ever wear a cardigan; only Erik is allowed to do that.
“He came home upset to find me eating all his food!” She throws herself at
Charles, wrapping her arms around his neck; it appears to be a habit of hers
since Charles doesn’t pull away or seem startled. Erik feels ugly jealousy
curling inside his stomach. “He didn’t even kick me out or scream or anything.”
Raven places a messy and loud kiss to his flushed cheek.
“She’s different.” Charles finally says as Raven looks back at Erik with a
grin, with her arms still tangled around his neck. “Like us.” He explains
further as Raven morphs into an identical Charles.
“I’m groovy.” Raven-Charles grins ridiculously at Erik, it’s an expression Erik
hasn’t seen on Charles’s face for some time. Its Erik’s most favorite smile
Charles has with his teeth showing, blue eyes bright, face crinkled from the
force of it, and his hair dangling down on his forehead. It makes him feel sick
knowing it isn’t really Charles.
“I’ve told Sharon that Raven’s my cousin, and dearest mother would rather go
along with it then look like a fool in front of a Darkholme.” Raven-Charles
nods along with what Charles is saying, and then slowly morphs into a smiling
Erik. The picture of himself hanging loosely off Charles’s neck and the fact
that Raven can do that looking like Erik when he himself isn’t allowed to
causes sometimes inside to snap.
“Stop it.” Erik growls out at the fake version of himself. “Stop it now!” His
voice rises up into a shout making Raven flinch back and away while immediately
morphing into her blue form. It’s a thousand times better and the pained
feeling inside his chest eases.
“Erik, its fine.” Charles places his hands up in front of Erik, not
understanding why he’s  so upset, he skims he’s mind to find jealousy clouding
all other thoughts.  “She needs me. I’ve never had somebody need me like she
does.”  He projects the thoughts at only Erik who looks startled as if he had
forgotten how strong Charles was becoming with his powers. Charles feels a pang
and realizes that maybe he hasn’t actually told Erik about his new abilities.
“I need you.”  Erik can’t help the automatic response. It’s the truth and he
won’t bother hiding it.
“Are you two, okay?” Raven looks worried and uncomfortable; she’s still in her
blue form looking impossibly small. “I didn’t mean anything by it, Erik. I
forget sometimes it freaks people out… they think I’m trying to steal their
identity.” She tries to smile, but it fails. Charles picks up worried thoughts
about how she’ll have to leave them if Erik hates her. He puts a hand on her
shoulder to ease her discomfort.
“She’s part of my family now.” Charles’s declaration had the opposite effect of
making Erik accept her.  My  family and not  our  family. Those words sting at
Erik; he’s always worried about the time when he’ll have no place with Charles
anymore. Erik may still be Charles’s best friend, but what is that compared to
Raven being his family? It’s another obstacle for Erik to climb over to get to
Charles. Erik thinks for a moment about putting up a fight, but what if Charles
doesn’t choose him?
“I promise I won’t do it again.” Raven gives him a shy smile, and Erik realizes
that she is still just a kid, scared and alone. He remembers after his parents
died and how alone he felt. Raven couldn’t be a year or two older than what he
was then.
“Well since you’re promising no more hugs, then okay.” Erik shrugs as he says
it. Raven looks more confused until she realizes what he’s trying to do. Erik’s
small smile brings out an even bigger one from Raven.
“I never promised such a thing!” Raven throws herself back at him once again
forgetting all about Erik’s discomfort once again. Erik flails around,
dramatically trying to dislodge her while making pained noises.
“Is she a girl or a leech?” Erik cries out at Charles, causing him to laugh and
join in on invading Erik’s personal space. As they break apart Raven pretends
she doesn’t notice how Erik and Charles’s hug lingers after she’s let go.
“Thank you, my friend,” Charles whispers into Erik’s hair, his breath on his
ear sends shivers up his spine. Charles quickly pulls away and looks to Raven
with a shaky smile. “We should introduce Raven to comics and the joy of
reading!” Raven’s groan is met with laughter as they make their way back inside
the hideout.

Almost two months later, Raven and Erik aren’t exactly as close as she’d like.
She feels always in the way, because Charles keeps putting her there and can’t
help feeling like Erik blames her. She knows Charles genuinely cares for her,
but she wished he’d stop using her like a shield against Erik. Raven doesn’t
understand why he can’t seem to just be around Erik without her there and
always dragging her along. It’s painfully obvious that Erik misses being able
to talk to Charles  alone  without a twelve year old around.
Charles is always making sure she is placed between them in the car, on the
couch, in the hideout, or on his bed. If she was older she’d have thought he
was trying to set them up, but it’s horribly awkward and Raven is sick of them
talking over her. Whenever Charles moves to put Raven in the middle she catches
a glimpse of Erik’s crestfallen face, she feels to be the cause of it. She’s
tried talking to Charles, thinking they had a fight after a week of seeing him
almost avoid his friend.
They’re at the comic book store which is one of the places Erik loves to go,
but today it’s just Charles and Raven. Erik is off with his aunt doing errands,
because she loves feeling like she has an assistant and Erik has no choice.
Raven is eyeing a cover with a blue lady wearing a very revealing white dress.
She tries approaching the subject of Charles’s strange behavior delicately and
with the charm and aplomb she knows she contains somewhere inside.
“Charles, you don’t have to always include me in you and Erik’s plans. I know
you two are older and you know boys so you guys can go and do… teenage boy
things without me?” Raven never really had a way with words. “I feel in the way
sometimes.”
“You’re part of the group now. We don’t have to, but we want to include you.”
He smiles reassuringly at her before frowning. “Has Erik said something to
you?”
“No, but does Erik want to include me? I mean he probably isn’t used to having
me around when it was just you two for so long.” She plays with a braid of hair
she forced Charles to create the night before.
“Erik is fine. He’ll be fine. He just needs… time.” He turns back to finish
riffling through the bin of new comics.
“Maybe you should spend some alone time with him anyways. Take him to the
movies?” Raven thinks this idea is perfect and jumps a little excitedly once
she says it. Charles has the opposite reaction.
“Why would I do that? We aren’t dating!” His face is suddenly red and scrunched
as if confused and worried.
“I know…” She tries to sound placating, but he still looks as if he’s waiting
for a further explanation of such a ridiculous idea. “Don’t get so upset.”
Raven smiles bigger causing her face to ache. “Did you two have a fight?”
“Everything is fine.” Charles’s smile is force and brittle, he kisses her
forehead a little too hard, and once again turns around back to the comics,
ending the conversation.
If Charles wasn’t going to give Erik the friendship she thought he needed, then
she’ll finally and truly befriend Erik. They  are  friendly, but they haven’t
really had an actual conversation that didn’t involve comic books or Charles.
She does feel like she knows everything about him though, because Charles’s
favorite topic of discussion is still Erik.
Raven would have done tried befriending him before, but she admits she was a
little scared of Erik at first. He’s playful and sarcastic with a bit of dry
humor when around Charles, but when it’s just Raven and Erik he just seems so
tall and sometimes his small smile at her little jokes makes her weak in the
knees, and his laugh at her antics warms her up from the tips of her toes to
the hair on her head. However, his smiles and laughs are getting fewer lately
and when watching him (which she does often) after the first two months he just
looks sad.
She starts out befriending him slowly by smiling extra big at him whenever she
sees him and asking his opinion on almost everything. After a few hours on the
first day it starts to unnerve both boys.
“Raven, do you have a crush on Erik?” Charles asked as if that was the most
ridiculous idea ever. Erik’s gulp was audible.
“Charles Xavier, you do not ask about a lady’s business so openly!” She meant
to sound terrifying, but it only came out sounding too dramatic for a girl of
twelve.
“You watch too many period films, and answer the question.” Charles seems
really serious, like the answer is the most important thing he’ll ever hear.
Raven rolls her eyes intending to deny it completely when Erik stands up from
where he was on Charles’s bed.
“I should go home.” He looks awkwardly from Charles to Raven and then back
again. “Bye.”
“I’ll walk with you!” Raven yells after him before sprinting off. She hears
Charles calling after her, but she ignores him completely. Erik is out the back
door before she catches up with him.
“This isn’t necessary,” he immediately says as she bounces up next to him, his
eyes are set forward and his body is rigid. Raven has to practically run to
keep in step with his long strides.
“Yes it is. I think we should be friends.” She hooks her arm around Erik’s
elbow whose reaction is to pull it back to his body stiffly.
“We are friends, Raven.” Erik’s voice sounds exasperated and he sighs heavily
as if knowing where this conversation will lead.
“Yeah, but really  really  good friends.” Raven squeezes his arm while staring
up at him. She’s in her blue form tonight and her skin looks darker in the
moonlight.
“Oh? Well, Raven. I uh, I don’t. I’m not really.” He trails off as he tries not
to trip over pool accessories in the dark. Erik doesn’t speak again until they
are almost to the woods; Raven lets him think her proposal over. “I know what
it feels like to have a crush on somebody who doesn’t feel the same way back.
It isn’t fun and I don’t want that for you.”
“I don’t have a crush on you!” Raven can’t help, but laugh a little at how
awkward he is acting.
“Oh.” Erik looks confused by her laughter, but his whole body relaxes. “I just
thought. I don’t know.”
“Who do you have a crush on? Somebody at school?” Raven thinks if Erik is
willing to tell her about his crush then they’ll bond over having a secret and
be one step closer to being best friends, or so that’s how it works on
television (but usually they show two young friends giggling over their crushes
together and Raven doubts Erik actually giggles).
“What?” He looks over at her quickly and then back away, hiding his face. “No.”
“Nobody at school, then? Good, cause I don’t know anybody at your school. But,
I don’t really see you with anybody else besides Charles…” She was about to say
and herself, but Erik cuts her off quickly.
“I don’t have a crush on Charles!” His voice sounds extremely loud as it breaks
the silence of the woods, causing her to stop in her tracks to look up at him.
She can’t see his eyes, but his face is set in a scowl.
“And I don’t have a crush on you!” Raven yells back furiously; the lie comes
out easily. She knows she was being a bit annoying, but yelling like that at a
young girl was just too much. She stalked off away from Erik and back to
Charles’s house, ignoring the tears that keep threatening to run down her face.
“I just wanted to be your friend.”
“Raven, I’m sorry.” Erik barely has to job to catch up with her. He feels like
utter crap for taking out his frustration on a little girl. “I keep forgetting
how young you are.”
“I’m not that young!” She snaps back, and refusing to look at him as he lightly
grabs her elbow.
“It’s just a lot you know? To deal with and have nobody to talk to about it.
He… Charles used to be my best friend and he still is, but everything has
changed.” Erik doesn’t know if he’s making sense, but he has to explain his
actions to her. She has to understand it isn’t about her. He isn’t really
yelling at Raven, but at himself and Charles for taking his friendship away.
“It’s different when you’re around which you always are- not a bad different.”
He quickly adds when her lip starts sticking out in a pout. “We just used to be
close,” she finally looks up at him, seeing the sadness in his eyes with his
guard completely down. “And we aren’t now.” He finishes lamely not knowing how
else to describe it without telling this twelve year old about his confusing
feelings he has for his best friend.
“I understand. You miss him.” Raven wraps her small arms around Erik’s middle
for a quick hug.
“Yeah, I do.” It’s the simplest way to put how he’s feeling about Charles right
now, the dull ache he constantly feels, and the sharp pang whenever Charles
pulls away towards Raven.

Erik isn’t stupid. He knows that Charles is using Raven so they aren’t alone
together anymore. That can only mean he’s overstepped his boundaries with
Charles, who probably thinks Erik is some sex crazed pervert that’ll jump on
him whenever they’re alone. Erik can still talk to Charles, but feels like he
has to always watch what he’s saying around Raven, even if they’re talking
about meaningless subjects. He finds himself having to stop from tackling
Charles or resting his head on Charles’s legs quite often and it doesn’t feel
right each time, like he’s telling himself not to shiver when Charles whispers
in his ear or his body to stop creating goosebumps whenever Charles’s hand
ghosts over his skin. It’s not something he is used to yet.
That night after Erik is gone, Raven quickly works on her plan of getting Erik
and Charles back to the way they were before she interrupted their life. She
thought about just leaving, but she couldn’t abandon Charles in that big empty
house and if he isn’t happy then Erik wouldn’t be either. Raven remembered the
first time she met Charles and how eagerly he told her about his best friend,
how close they were, and all Erik’s amazing qualities. They are now growing
distant and even though Erik didn’t really blame her, she knows it’s her fault.
She waits until Charles is settled down and busy with his homework before
making her move.
“My dearest cousin!” She exclaims loudly throwing herself at his feet where
he’s sitting at his desk. She loves to call Charles that since she’s always
dreamed of going around calling after her “dearest mama” or “dear papa” like in
the movies about rich British aristocrats and all their rich problems, but
never had the opportunity until recently.
“Oh my dear, Raven.” He doesn’t look up or even flinch from her outburst, still
hunched over his desk focusing on his work. His hand is idling playing with his
metal necklace.
“I talked to Erik today.” She says this like it’s a secret, whispering it at
his knee like she’s received grave news.
“You talk to Erik every day.” Charles singsongs his reply right back still
distracted by his homework and the pile of homework still waiting to be worked
on.
“Yes, but I actually really did talk to him today…” She trails off waiting for
Charles to press the issue, which he doesn’t. “About important stuff. Like how
he misses you.” Charles’s pencil stops scratching away at his notebook.
“He said that himself?” His voice sounds brittle and small.
“Charles, you need to spend more time with him without me.” Charles is look
down at her now, homework forgotten. “I don’t think he’s used to having me
around just yet and we’re always together.” There’s a sick sinking feeling in
the pit of Charles’s stomach, he knew what he was doing to himself, but didn’t
even stop to think about the effect it had on Erik.
“I’m always around him.” He has the sudden urge to justify himself to this
little girl at his feet, almost begging him to spend time with his  best friend
.
“Have a slumber party with him!” Raven yells excitedly like it’s the best idea
in the world to bring the two boys back together. She has always dreamed of
having a slumber party with all her girl friends sitting around braiding each
other’s hair and painting their nails. “You’ll have so much fun and I swear I
won’t interrupt.”
“He used to sleep over all the time.” Charles is reminded of how it used to
feel being in the same bed as Erik and his warmth, limbs tangled together. He
doesn’t have any arguments ready and honestly he’s tired of keeping Erik away
physically. Charles agrees to her plan of a “slumber party”, though he refers
to it as a sleepover when asking Erik the next day, who replies with a huge
smile on his face after learning it’ll just be the two of them. He immediately
thinks he’s given the wrong idea to Erik.  
The three of them decide to spend the next Friday in town since school lets out
early for all of them. They meet around the busy skate-park where Charles and
Raven walked, along with Charles’s classmate Sean. Charles doesn’t spend a lot
of time with his fellow classmates outside of school since Erik came into his
life, all his free time has been devoted to his best friend. Also bringing them
home was never really an option with his mother wandering around drunk most
days, but decides it can’t hurt to walk with the red-haired boy to the meeting
spot which happens to also be Sean’s favorite hangout. Charles is still working
on his control of reading people’s minds, so he focuses on just keeping the
thoughts all down to a low hum, but every once and a while Sean’s mind sends
him images of glass breaking or he hears some high pitched yelling. The
strangest thing happens when Sean’s best-friend Alex is around; the images
include bright red fire and destruction. He hasn’t asked Sean about it yet,
because that would be extremely odd to just start a conversation over a few
images Sean’s brain has sent him. Charles shrugs it off for now thinking
they’re just troublemakers with a bit of a destructive side.
Charles and Raven wait for Erik to show up as they sit and watch Sean do tricks
on the half pipe. Charles has been nervous all day about the upcoming sleepover
that night, while Raven has been her usually bouncy self. She started school
earlier that week (finally) and swears she is so close to having a girl in her
class actually like her. Erik has been smiling and in a good mood the whole
time leading up to Friday, looking forward to spending time with Charles alone.
Sean talks Charles into trying out skate-boarding since apparently his small
frame is perfect for the sport.
“Closer to the ground means more control of the board, or something.” Sean
explains with a smile while walking Charles to the top of the smallest half-
pipe. “Just bend your knees.” He nods as if that is all Charles needs.
“I-I’m not sure about this, Sean.” Thought it’s the smaller of the half-pipes,
the ground still seems extremely far away. Sean who just nods away Charles’s
worries, brings him closer to the edge.
“It’ll change your life.” He sets Charles up to skate down, Raven cheering him
on from below. “Plus, chicks dig the scars.” It doesn’t work in making Charles
feel any more comfortable or reassured about his abilities.
“Shouldn’t I try on the ground first?” Charles doesn’t even try to keep the
trepidation from his voice. Sean’s hand keeps him from backing away.
“You conquer this. You conquer the world.” Sean looks him in the eyes as he
says, completely serious. Charles starts to shake his head no. “I’ll help you.”
Erik is finally rounding the corner to the skate-park when he sees a red-haired
boy shove Charles off the smallest half-pipe on a skateboard. Charles looks
unready and frightened, but surprisingly balances himself on the board. That is
until he reaches the bottom when it flies out from under him, he lands heavily
on his ankle, and then falls off the small step of the half-pipe on his knee to
the cement ground. He doesn’t cry out but from where Erik is standing he can
see the grimace of pain flash across Charles’s face.
The knee of his navy school uniform is torn and his knee is bloody underneath.
“Oh man that was awesome,” Sean congratulates him for not chickening out,
oblivious to the wounded Charles as he goes running off for the stray skate-
board still going up and down the half-pipe. Raven is kneeling down next to
Charles, trying to elevate his ankle with her Spongebob backpack.
“Charles, are you alright?” Erik quickly runs over to where he’s landed to
kneel down by his side, Raven smiles brightly up at him and scoots over.
“My knee is fine, but I’m afraid my ankle is causing a bit of a problem.”
Charles winces and inhales sharply when Erik pulls up his pant leg to examine
the damage; Erik mimics the wince when he sees how it’s already swelling.
“Charles just needs to walk it off.” A blonde haired boy appears above Erik’s
shoulder, causing him to jump, the movement jostling Charles’s ankle causing a
sharp cry of pain.
“Cheers, Alex. I’ll get right on that.” Charles tries to pull himself up, but
his ankle hurts too much and only causes himself more pain. Erik sees what he’s
trying to do and places an arm around Charles’s back to help brace him up.

“What are you doing out here anyway? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you outside
of school.” Alex carries on the conversation as if Charles isn’t in a hell of a
lot of pain. Charles just grits his teeth and glares up at him, Erik
unconsciously brushes sweaty hair off Charles’s forehead while making a
shushing sound.
“Charles is mingling with the locals before he goes back to his castle. It
keeps us from attacking with torches and pitchforks,” Sean explains helpfully
for Charles as he examines his damaged skate-board. Charles is the richest kid
in their private school, and Sean likes to joke about how Charles lives in a
Beauty and the Beast style castle with gargoyles and talking furniture. Usually
Hank, a brainiac that’s rather fond of Charles, is around to tease Sean about
his Disney obsession.
“Speaking of castle… we should really get home now.” Charles wants to get a
little distance between himself and the newcomer, Alex, since he’d rather not
have a headache due to the images they tend to project whenever the two boys
are around.
“Can you walk?” Raven’s voice is nervous and her brow is crinkled in worry.
Alex looks at her as if seeing her for the first time.
Charles realizes quickly that indeed he cannot walk the three miles to their
house, so Erik quickly volunteers to piggyback him home. Thanks to the help of
Alex and Sean, Charles is wrapped firmly around his back with his cheek pressed
against Erik’s, and his front molded against Erik’s back.
“Don’t choke him, Charles!” Raven pulls at Charles’s arms which are wrapped
tightly around Erik’s neck due to his fear of falling backwards. Erik assures
him that he can carry his friend’s weight, even shrugging him up a little
higher to prove his point.
“If you drop me, I’ll kill you.” Charles tries to sound threatening, but comes
off as breathless instead. Erik feels so warm, and his hands are pulling
Charles upwards by the backs of his thighs. Charles suddenly worries about
being so closely attached to Erik; his hurt ankle is completely forgotten about
as an ache settles low in his stomach.
“I won’t drop you, dear.” Erik teases by jostling him to the side as they walk
away from the skate-park, Raven walking ahead of them to clear the way. Charles
yelps when Erik does a little spin with him gripping tightly, his one healthy
leg wrapped around Erik’s middle for dear life.
“I’m wounded!” His cry comes out as an embarrassing squeak which Erik laughs
at, the rumble going through Charles straight to his bones. He remains quiet
after that, and the rock of Erik’s steps and his mumbled speech as he talks
about his day causes Charles to relax and rest his head against Erik, he can’t
believe how comfortable his friend’s bony shoulder can be underneath his cheek.
Charles’s breath warms Erik’s neck and ear; Erik isn’t relaxed at all as they
walk the rest of the way to home.

Later that night, Raven fulfills her promise by keeping to her room listening
to music and reading the assigned comic books Erik gave her earlier that day.
Charles can’t help but pace (limp really due to his bandaged ankle done by Nina
who declared it was only sprained) around his room showing Erik things that
he’s sure has already seen thousands of times before, but who still smiles
sweetly at Charles and listens.
Their conversation is awkward and jumps around a lot with nothing really being
said. Charles keeps shying away from everything he wants to say and express.
It’s strange to both of them not having to worry about Raven being around and
just openly talking about whatever they like. It tears at Erik how hard it
seems for Charles to just relax instead of being tense. He can’t relax himself
knowing he’s the reason Charles is uncomfortable in his own home. Eventually
Erik goes to the one thing they still have in common after all these years and
haven’t had much time for lately: chess.
“Have you forgotten how to play the game, Charles?” Erik laughs as Charles
makes an illegal move for his first turn.
“I’m playing with the new and hip rules!” Charles laughs back trying to cover
up his mistake. “You’re just stuck in the past, old man.”
“How dare you,” Erik grumbles threateningly before throwing a knight at
Charles’s chest.
“See! You’re such a Neanderthal with your violence. I’m surprised you haven’t
set fire to the board yet. Violence will not bring you the victory you so
crave, my friend.” Charles says in his most posh accent, polishing the thrown
piece with his cardigan.
“You’re lucky I don’t club you and drag you off to my cave.” Erik remarks,
causing Charles to eye him warily before they both burst out into laughter.
As the time quickly flies by they find themselves slipping back into the
comfortableness that’s been missing for so long. Charles even allows himself to
relax enough to lounge on his bed with Erik pressed firmly against his side,
reading from the same comic book. The more they’re spending together the more
it reminds both Charles and Erik how important it is for them to take time out
just for the two of them. Charles feels silly for how ridiculous he was acting
earlier that evening as they make each other laugh and catch up talking about
things they haven’t talked about in such a long time. Erik finally tells him
the big news he’s been trying to pass on since a few days before when Raven
kept interrupting them. He’s got an afterschool job at Shaw Grocery who is
owned by “That One Guy” (named by Charles who kept saying he looked like that
one guy from that one movie with the dancing) who dresses and acts like a big
celebrity. They don’t actually know a lot about him other than Nina giggles
whenever he’s around and he is apparently well liked by almost everyone.  
Charles can feel the stress easing out as Erik makes him laugh or tells him
about some little incident that happened in the hallway at school. He isn’t
worried about how Raven’s doing in school, his mother’s increased drinking
since Kurt still hasn’t returned, or his growing abilities that keep him from
sleeping due to the intense headaches. He needs Erik to be close and keep him
from falling apart.
“You understand that you’re very important to me, Erik?” Charles suddenly feels
the need to express this very important detail of their relationship. Erik
stops rolling out two sleeping bags on the floor (Charles decides if Erik is
sleeping in one then he will too) and looks up at him, eyes wide. “You’ll
always be my best friend. I just want to let you know that hasn’t changed.”
“Of course.” Erik smiles at him shyly.
“I’m not avoiding you, because of what happened between us.” Charles is
surprised to find himself actually talking about that night. He hadn’t planned
for it. Erik is equally shocked and stands up straight. “Well, I was.” Charles
frowns and looks away from Erik to the ground. “But I’m not going to avoid you
anymore. I’m sorry for that and I promise I’ll just pretend like it never
happened.” Erik doesn’t reply, only nods and goes back to spreading out the
sleeping bags. “And we’ll have more times like this.” Charles adds the last
part on when Erik makes no move to agree. Shamefully Charles tries skimming
Erik’s mind yet again and finds Erik thinking about beaches. Erik is thinking
really hard about beaches and sand.
“How’s that look?” Erik asks stepping back to look at where he’s spread the
sleeping bags a safe distance apart. “Couple of extra pillows and our necks
shouldn’t hurt too badly in the morning.” He tries to smile at Charles, but
gives up halfway through. Charles changes the subject quickly in a successful
attempt to lighten the mood and get them back to how they were before he opened
his mouth.
They fall asleep talking about how Erik will be an excellent stocker at the
grocery store, using his abilities to place double the amount of cans than
anybody else could at once. Their bodies are a few feet away with a barrier of
pillows in between. Charles wakes up with his head resting on Erik’s chest,
Erik’s arm wrapped tightly around his waist, his thigh hiked up over Erik’s,
and Raven’s footsteps walking away down the hall.
***** Chapter 5 *****

Charles knows as he’s curled up next to Erik that he should go and see if Raven
is alright, but he can’t pry himself away. They aren’t this close so often
anymore and Charles hadn’t known how much he’s missed feeling Erik’s chest rise
and fall as he breathes. He doesn’t move a muscle until he can mentally feel
Erik waking up slowly. It’s only then that he gets up and heads for the shower,
pretending like nothing happened, until breakfast when he sees Raven.
Raven is unusually quiet that morning. Charles is a bundle of nerves thinking
Raven is upset, that she saw them curled up and thinks differently now. Perhaps
she feels betrayed since Charles can feel how much Raven likes Erik.
Despite the quietness of both Raven and Charles, Erik had decided it was a fine
day indeed and actually made eggs and bacon for the three of them. A few pokes
of Erik’s elbow into Raven’s side got her out of the funk and smiling once
more, letting Charles take a deep breath of relief. He was still nervous, but
Charles couldn’t simply be the only one in a foul mood so he played along with
the jokes and laughter. He also couldn’t ignore the sneaky looks that Raven
kept throwing back and forth from himself and Erik.

That Monday Erik begins his new job at Shaw Grocery after work. It was Nina’s
idea to get a job and they really did need help with the bills. Erik couldn’t
just simply say no because he wanted to spend all his free time with Charles.
Charles promises to go along with Nina to pick him up and Raven actually opts
out of tagging along, mumbling something while staring down at a piece of paper
with a girl named Angel’s address.
Erik’s first day consists of him following around other workers and being told
what to do, which is what he thought it would be like even though Charles tried
filling him up with ideas of getting promotion after promotion within the first
hour; Lehnsherr Grocery does have a nice ring to it. He’s walking towards the
doors after clocking out when he sees Nina talking animatedly to his boss,
Shaw, and Charles standing a slight distance off watching the doors.
“Here he is!” Charles walks over to pat him heartily on the back. Nina and Shaw
ignore Charles’s outburst and continue to talk, heads bent towards each other.
“Shaw was telling us what a fine worker you’ve been on your first day.”
“I haven’t seen him the whole time I’ve been here,” Erik whispers back. “Why
are they standing so close?” Both boys look over at the two adults who are
standing the same distance as them, talking quietly. It’s almost a mirror image
of Charles and Erik, but neither of them realizes that.
“I think Shaw likes what he sees,” Charles whispers, seeing how Shaw’s eyes
keep roaming down to Nina’s low cut top.
“That’s disgusting, Charles.” Erik nudges him away when Charles makes a heart
shape with his hands, holding it up to frame the two adults.
“Even old women have desires, my friend.” Charles pats him on the back as if he
has infinite knowledge about old women and their desires.
“Are you calling me old? And what desires? You two!” Nina bats him a little too
violently with her brick of a purse, shooing them outside and into the rusty
box she calls a car.
“Boys will be boys,” Shaw calls after her, laughing. “I’ll see you soon, Nina.”
Nina stops and looks backwards at him, blushing and batting her eyelashes
dramatically.
“I look forward to Thursday night.” She daintily climbs into the driver’s seat,
and her nephew has never seen Nina do anything daintily in his life. It’s quite
awkward actually. The whole backseat is shocked at what just transpired front
of them, mouths hanging comically open.
“Good work today, Erik!” Shaw yells waving with a grin on his face, hair
perfectly styled. Charles turns his dumbstruck expression towards Erik who
sinks into the backseat, wishing to be swallowed up. Nina waits patiently until
they’re a block away with no chance of Shaw hearing to let out a girlish squeak
while clapping her hands excitedly.
“Nina!” Erik yells as if about to lay out a number of vicious accusations at
her feet.
“What was that?” Charles asks for Erik who can’t seem to wrap his head around
Nina and Shaw… Shaw and Nina. What?
“I’ve a date,” Nina singsongs while checking her lipstick ( she’s wearing
lipstick? ) and the tight curls falling about her face in the visor. She snaps
it up sharply after seeing the two boys eyeing her as if she’s grown another
head. “Never speak about this again. I don’t want to hear a word about this
from you two boys.” Erik and Charles sit a little closer together as Nina puts
her foot down on the gas, speeding away while cutting a few people off. “I need
to find something to wear!” She calls out as if that’s a reasonable explanation
for the accident she could have created.

Three days pass rather smoothly for Erik at work. Shaw actually does stop by
once every day to say hello to him; he thinks it has something to do with the
long hours Nina spends on the phone quietly talking to him at night. His aunt
comes and “picks him up” after work. What she actually does is stand outside
the store with Shaw, listening as he tells her of some famous person he’s met
before or far off place he’s visited, while Erik and Charles walk home (Nina
always comes home almost an hour after Erik with a wistful look on her face).
The time for Nina’s date comes along and all three members of her small family
gather around to watch her fuss over jewelry and makeup. Her and Raven actually
had to go out earlier that day to buy something new for her to wear, which is
extremely odd since Nina almost never buys anything for herself.
“You look beautiful, Nina.” Raven smiles brightly, trying to reassure the
nervous looking woman she’s grown to view as her own aunt.
“Thank you, Prinzessin.” Nina pinches Raven’s cheeks at the exact moment
there’s a knock at the door. Everybody in the room jumps, along with Raven who
turns into her natural form briefly. Nina is startled at first when the cheeks
turn scaly and blue, Raven’s heart plummets to her stomach thinking she is
about to be kicked out of another home.
“Gott im Himmel!” Nina laughs, actually  laughs  warmly while looking down at
the small girl. Nina saw the whole transformation and still she is touching
Raven’s face once more. “Did you just turn blue or is my eyesight going?”
“Your eyes are fine.” There are tears welling up in Raven’s eyes causing Nina
to grasp her face firmly, ignoring the door for the time being.
“Do not cry,” she speaks with a force that causes all the people in the room to
pay attention. “Do not be afraid of yourself.” Nina starts thinking about her
old life in the big city, when she was living in terrible conditions, working
hard to keep a small box of an apartment. “You’ll be surprised at how many
different people there are in the world. I used to know a boy in the city that
was red with a pointed tail.”
She brings the small and once again blue frame of Raven up closely into a tight
embrace. Nina starts remembering her time in the city and her brief
acquaintance with the small boy, Azazel. She never met his parents, but Azazel
lived in the apartment building and never went outside due to his fear of
people. He had scars all over his red skin and would appear out a puff of
sulfur smelling smoke whenever Nina walked through the door. She wasn’t
supposed to know about him, but once they met they became fast friends. Being
different isn’t a scary thing to Nina.
“He used to cut me flowers with his razor sharp tail. He was a beautiful boy.”
He had disappeared one night without a note or a goodbye. She still wonders
what happened to the sweet red boy whenever she sees freshly cut flowers.
Nina looks down, coming back to the present and locking eyes with the yellow of
Raven’s. “Beautiful girl. Different isn’t bad.”
“Erik and Charles are different too,” Raven pipes up, wanting to share the
moment.
“Do you honestly think, Prinzessin, that they could hide a secret from me?”
Nina remembers when Erik first came to live with her and how he’s have terrible
breakdowns, crying over his parents. During these crying bouts all the metal in
the room would thrum and shake as if being called into action. She remembers
the night she heard Charles yelling mentally at Erik before they had their big
fight and stopped speaking to each other.
She’d known all along and still loved them. Erik has a suddenly urge to hug his
aunt tightly. He thought Nina wouldn’t understand or think something was wrong
with him. He feels horrible for actually thinking that, since his aunt has done
nothing but bend over backwards trying to make him happy. The moment is broken
when another firmer knock sounds from the door.
“My date!” Nina jumps into action having forgotten all about Shaw and her
romantic fantasies. She cleans herself in the small mirror before pushing past
the two boys who are still staring at her in wonder. It seems neither boy
really knew Nina at all as she keeps surprising them each day. “Just a minute!”
She yells through the door, turning around and throwing air kisses. She opens
and closes the door quickly so Shaw can’t see the inside and all its faults
(bad enough he’s seen the front and the peeling paint and crumbling sidewalk).
“I love her,” Raven says loudly once the door is closed.

Five hours later, and Raven is passed out in Erik’s bed with Erik sitting in
the living room, back against the couch watching bad infomercials for The Magic
Bullet. Charles is away putting the chessboard up since neither of them could
concentrate enough on the game. He finally hears Charles’s soft footsteps
coming down the hall to join him, but he doesn’t bother looking up.
“I’m worried for her.” Erik breaks the silence, his voice sounding anxious.
It’s one o’clock in the morning and Erik can’t remember a time when Nina had
stayed out so late without calling to say she picked up another shift. Charles
offers no reassurance; he just sits beside him on the floor and waits quietly.
The warmth from their sides pressed up against each other comforts Erik more
than any words could.
Some time passes before Erik realizes that Charles has fallen asleep rather
uncomfortably, with his head dipped backwards onto the couch cushion. He eases
him down sideways, using his castoff sweatshirt as a makeshift pillow. Erik
doesn’t hear the movement in the hallway as he brushes hair off Charles’s face,
and covers him with the knitted throw draped across the couch.
“You do really like Charles, don’t you?” Raven’s voice spooks Erik, causing him
to jerk away from where he was busy taking Charles’s watch off. It’s bulky and
Erik knows he’ll probably hit himself in the face with it during the night with
his habit of flailing around.
“Of course I like Charles,” Erik whispers back and finishes taking the watch
off. He places it on the coffee table before leaving the living room, followed
closely by Raven.
“I mean like how Nina likes Shaw.” Erik freezes for a moment and just simply
thinks. Nina likes Shaw and yet she barely knows him. It doesn’t feel right to
compare Nina’s like of Shaw to what he feels for Charles. Erik has seen Charles
at his worst and his best, yet he still craves his attention. Shaw has thrown a
few smiles at Nina; they haven’t seen each other breakdown and cry, or broken
and bruised, or laugh so they can’t see through the tears. He doesn’t think
twice when he answers.
“No.” Erik’s never just  liked  Charles.
“More?” Raven’s question is more like a statement, like she already knows. Erik
turns around to face this little girl, the first person to ever know of his
secret. He thinks briefly about denying it, but he wants to tell her. Erik
feels a deep need for somebody to know.
“Yes.” He says it on an exhale, the word sounding more like a sigh.
“Oh.” Raven’s reaction isn’t judging or disgust, she walks over the cabinet to
get a glass out. “I need a drink.” Erik feels like a heavy weight has been
lifted from his chest. He feels like laughing as he watches her fill up the
glass with chocolate milk.
“I’d rather it be him then some stupid girl,” Raven confesses, which only
confuses him. “Nothing, never mind.” She sighs dramatically while taking
another noisy sip.
“Shhh, you’ll wake Charles.” He pokes Raven’s side causing a high pitched
squeak to be released into the quiet house. “Didn’t I just say shh?”

Nina finally comes home at two in the morning with flowers and stories about
ballroom dancing and expensive boats on rivers. She gushes to Raven about how
Sebastian (“He wants us to call him Sebastian!”) was such a gentleman and so
dashing with his black tux and his own driver.
Charles finds it odd that Sebastian has so much money when he only owns a
grocery store.

The next day Nina isn’t able to stop by when Erik gets off work, so Charles and
Raven show up to walk him home. Raven is off playing in the freezer, watching
Erik cut up cucumbers (Sebastian decided to give Erik more responsibility by
adding prepping vegetables to his to-do list). Charles is looking at the
bulletin board near the entrance when a yellow Lamborghini parks directly in
front of the store, blocking the handicap ramp. Charles actually flinches away
from the hideous display of wealth and cheesiness of the vehicle and is
surprised when Shaw himself climbs out. Shaw smiles at Charles when he spots
him standing there with a disgusted look on his face.
“Hello, Charles.” Shaw holds his hand out for Charles who shakes it limply, not
used to people wanting to shake his hand.
“How do you afford all this?” Charles doesn’t mean to ask so bluntly, but he’s
been pondering it every since Nina came home with stories of his riches. He
loves Nina and won’t allow anybody to make a fool out of her. Shaw’s eyes
narrow and the grasp he has on Charles’s hand tightens, pulling him closer to
speak quietly but with force. Charles sees flashes of Shaw’s skin ripple and
bubble, like how a water mattress looks when jumped on.
“I’m more than just a grocery store owner.” He grabs Charles’s elbow with his
other arm, keeping him in one spot. “This store been in my family for quite
some time and I’m fond of this town which is why I haven’t sold it off. I’ve
made many investments all over the country as did my family and if you’ve paid
any attention to the world that doesn’t exist inside your little head you
wouldn’t have asked that stupid question. You would know to fear the name
‘Shaw.’”
Charles’s question may have been blunt, but Shaw’s reply with such viciousness
and hatred wasn’t expected, especially after Nina called him a gentleman. He
can feel the anger and resentment oozing off of Shaw, but Charles is too
flustered to try and read his thoughts. He finally pulls his arm away and is
about to fire back with how important his own family name is, but Shaw
interrupts him. “And it’s rude to ask such questions, boy.” The word is spat
out like an insult. “You don’t hear me asking about your drunk mother or your
step-father’s bastard children… do you?” Charles is left stunned while Shaw
walks briskly away.
He wants to charge right after Shaw and explain to him how important his father
was, how respected his name really is, and how some day Charles will restore
all that Kurt Marko has done to his mother and the family name. Charles feels
ashamed though, and can’t make his feet move. He had thought he was able to
keep his mother under control enough for people to forget, but apparently she
has done too much damage in all important circles and Shaw must be important if
he knows about Kurt and his dealings. Charles is still standing there stunned
when Erik and Raven come along.
“Charles, what is it?” Erik shakes him gently to get his attention.
“Sebastian said in a few more years I could work here,” Raven interrupts,
excited about the prospect of earning her own money.
“You’re too good to work at this place.” It’s out of Charles’s mouth before he
can even think about what he’s saying or doing.
“I work here.” Erik tries to laugh at the comment, but sees that Charles is
really upset about something.
“What?” Charles asks as he finally looks at Erik and the scowl on his face, but
doesn’t wait for a reply from Erik and turns to walk out of the store with
Raven by his side. He wants to get as far away from the store was possible.
“What’s wrong with you?” Erik asks yet again after he’s caught up with them.
“I just want to get home.” Charles tries to smooth things over, but Erik only
comes away thinking Charles is finally ashamed of his poorer friend.
Charles stops walking Erik home after that day, allowing Raven to meet him
after work while he waits at the hideout. He doesn’t bring up what Sebastian
said to anybody since he was only telling the truth.

The school year is nearing its end when Charles makes some rather startling
discoveries. The first is that Erik and Raven may have become extremely close
without Charles even realizing it. His schoolwork has started demanding a lot
from him with his advanced classes, and his refusal to walk Erik home after
work has added a lot of distance between the two boys. They still find time on
the weekends to focus on each other, but during the long school week it’s often
just Raven and Erik. One Friday night Charles is late getting home, having to
stay after to work on a project, when he walks in on Erik actually sitting in
the girly pink room laughing with Raven.
“I’ve wanted to see this movie… The Count of Something?” Raven is sprawled
upside down on her four-poster bed trying to read a magazine that keeps falling
on her face.
“Like in Sesame Street?” Erik is on the floor, building a tower of silver
paperclips with his abilities. Charles hasn’t seen Erik use his powers that
often since the incident with Cain. He believes that Erik is scared of showing
how much stronger he’s become, or maybe he’s just worried it’ll remind Charles
of what happened. Erik pretended like he couldn’t unlock his own front door
without a key even though Charles could hear his thoughts as he went around
opening the window, using his powers out of Charles’s sight. He hasn’t said
anything to comfort Erik’s worry which makes them both feel only worse.
“What? I don’t think so. It’s French with the guy who is going to play Jesus?”
Raven tries to explain as if Erik should know what she’s talking about.
“A movie about French Jesus?” Erik asks dubiously with Charles’s presence still
unknown since he’s standing outside the open door, watching the scene in front
of him with unwarranted jealousy. He wishes he could relax with Erik, but his
school and his future goals don’t allow that.
“Doesn’t it sound amazing?” Raven asks dreamily as the magazine pages continue
to hit her in the face.
“Jesus is a French count?” Erik squints his eyes thoughtfully, “The French
Jesus Count of Monte Cristo.”
“That’s it!” Raven almost rolls off the bed, throwing the magazine at Erik’s
head.
“Really? The French Jesus Count?” Erik knocks the magazine away to place the
last stretched paperclip at the top of the tower.
“The Count of Monte Cristo!” She once again explains as if Erik really should
know what she’s talking about instead of being completely lost.
“How is that about Jesus?” Erik sounds outraged.
“What? No.” Raven rolls her eyes as she lowers herself to the floor. “It’s
about some Count who owns Monte Cristo?” She pokes at the paperclip tower which
doesn’t budge or move from her interference.
“I’ve read the book, Raven.” Erik looks over at the doorway finally and sees
Charles standing there. The tower goes tumbling down to the carpeted floor.
“What are you guys doing?” Charles tries to act like he just got there instead
of silently watching them for the past few minutes.
“You’re finally home!” Erik’s eyes are bright and he can’t stop the smile
that’s spreading across his face. Charles nods towards the hallway indicating
Erik to follow him.
“Bye boys!” Raven calls after them with a strange flirty tone to her voice.
“I’m going to use the phone, nobody bother me.” Her voice goes from playful to
fierce as she slams the door shut.
“I think she’s going through puberty,” Erik states with a mock shiver running
through his body once they make it to Charles room.
“How long have you been waiting?” Charles busies himself arranging the piles of
homework that need to be done from the already finished reports.
“She walked me home from work.” Erik is fumbling with his bag he left inside
Charles’s room a few hours ago when he arrived. “We stopped by to pick up some
movies.” He pulls out several cases, throwing them on Charles’s bed.
“Did you guys watch them all?” Charles tries to keep the jealousy out of his
voice. “You two seem pretty close lately. BFF or whatever they call it.”
“I got them for you and I to watch, together.” Erik looks over at him
questioningly. “Raven is okay, but I mean…” He trails off trying to find the
right words. “She isn’t you.” He finishes with a shrug as if it explains
everything. “You and I are BFFs or whatever they call it.” Charles tries to
keep the smile from getting too big, but fails. “Oh, Charles. You are so
transparent sometimes,” Erik says with a shake of his head.
They throw all the pillows they can find onto Charles’s floor in front of the
television hidden inside the antique armoire. The first movie starts playing
with Charles comfortably relaxed back into a small mound and Erik tossing and
turning on the other side.
“Are you settled yet, Erik?” Charles smashes a pillow down to look over at his
miserable friend.
“My back hurts.” Erik grumbles, trying to pay attention to what Toulouse-
Lautrec is singing. “The pillows are too… pillowy.”
“You’re ridiculous.” Charles chuckles while taking the barrier of pillows away,
which is when Erik decides it’s perfectly reasonable to scoot over and place
his heavy head on Charles’s soft stomach. “Excuse me?”
“Much better.” Erik ignores Charles’s outrage, settling down to watch the movie
he let Raven pick out.
“Your head is bony.” He mumbles halfheartedly, placing his right hand on Erik’s
hair to keep the strands out of his line of sight.
“Heads are bony? You’re a genius, Professor.” Erik’s voice is deadpanned, one
hand coming up to rest on Charles’s knee. “Watch the movie.”
They are watching as Satine sings about flying away before Charles interrupts
again with what he’s been thinking about a lot lately.
“Do you think Nina is happy? With Shaw I mean.” His question brings Erik
rolling onto his back to look at Charles.
“She seems happy. He’s taking her to see some Broadway show tonight for their
three month anniversary… I thought I told you.” Charles hums his agreement, not
sure if he was actually told. “She dances around the house a lot more, but I’m
not sure if that can’t be ruled out with insanity.” Erik sees the flash of
Charles’s teeth in the darkness.  “I’ve missed you.”
“Me too.” Charles replies out loud without realizing it.
“You dance around your house more?” Erik pinches his side. “I shouldn’t leave
you alone so often.” Charles smacks his hand away lightly. Erik smiles and
quietly says, “he wants to send me to school.”
“What?” Charles tries to sit up in a panic. “You mean away?” Erik keeps him
from moving with the weight of his upper body.
“Your school. Next year.” Erik explains with a smile, thankful that Charles was
so outraged on his behalf.
“We’d go to school together?!” Charles’s thunderous expression turns into a
look of delight. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He tries to sit up, but Erik once
again overpowers him.
“I haven’t had the chance to tell you,” Erik’s voice doesn’t sound at all
excited, but he’s wearing a soft smile anyways, surprised at his friend’s
delight. “He says if I help him out on the weekends he’d be happy to better my
education. Nina was hesitant at first, but apparently Shaw has a way with
words.”
Nina hates taking charity from people, but from the way Shaw made it sound like
he actually cared for Erik and wants to see him succeed, she couldn’t say no
since it affected Erik’s future happiness.
“You can’t start school now?”
“I’m glad you’re excited. I thought perhaps you wouldn’t like it.” Erik stopped
looking at Charles to stare the pillows next to his head. Charles could feel
the unease dripping from Erik’s mind. “With your poor friend suddenly around
your rich ones.”
Charles doesn’t understand what he means at first since he’s never even thought
of Erik as “his poor friend”. Erik has always been his best friend regardless
of any stupid little things like money.
“My poor friend?” Charles raises his voice once he realizes what his friend was
implying. A flash of anger and hurt is sent towards Erik causing him wince,
shutting his eyes briefly. “Erik you idiot,” Charles pushes at his shoulder to
try and get him off, but Erik refuses. “I can’t believe you’d think that. Am I
really that awful a person?” Erik quickly shakes his head no, hands brought up
to soothe down Charles’s slender arms. “I know I’ve been distant, but… god
Erik. I thought. I thought you knew me better than that.” All the anger drains
from Charles, leaving him feeling suddenly extremely depressed and on the verge
of tears.
Erik crawls up to lay right next to Charles, pressed firmly against his side.
Erik’s forehead resting on Charles’s temple, his chest pressed to Charles’s
shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” Erik whispers honestly. He wasn’t expecting to hurt Charles so
much, he never wanted to do that.
“You should be.” Charles’s voice is a rough whisper. Erik wraps his right arm
around Charles, hand resting on his friend’s shoulder, thumb brushing against
his neck.
“Don’t be mad.” Erik pulls him closer into an awkward hug, nose touching
Charles’s ear, his breath causing Charles to shiver.
“I’m livid.” Charles still feels tears prick at his eyes. He can’t help but
feel like he’s let Erik down by allowing him to think that way.
“Please, don’t cry.” Erik brings his hand up to cradle Charles’s jaw, turning
his face to look him in the eye. His mouth is hovering at the corner of
Charles’s own. “You’re my best friend.” The words sound more like what Erik is
thinking.  “I need you.”
Charles turns his head abruptly, their noses bump, lips almost touching.
“Me too.” He smiles sadly, their lips ghosting over each other in a phantom
kiss, neither of them move away.
“Spectacular, Spectacular!” The movie startles them both, breaking eye contact.
“Do we even know what’s going on in this movie?” Erik asks, resting his
forehead against Charles’s own before flopping onto his back next to him.
Charles exhales slowly, “No idea.”
They spend the rest of the evening going through the rest of the movies with
Erik bad mouthing all the actors, and Charles ad-libbing his own script
whenever the actresses speak with his own high pitched voice. As they are
saying goodnight, still on the floor surrounded by pillows, Charles makes sure
not to pull away when Erik rests his arm across his waist. The future may bring
a wife and children for Erik, and Charles may become a well respected professor
bringing his family name out of the dirt, but right now all that matters is
Erik and the way his eyes crinkle when he’s sincerely happy and how he shows
off all his teeth when laughing alone with Charles. At this moment, on the
floor with Erik, Charles doesn’t worry about the future.

The next big discovery comes in the form of Charles’s classmate, Hank. Not only
does Hank ask Charles to come over to his house (something nobody has ever
requested before), but Hank leaves all his books inside his locker at the end
of the day. Charles’s idea that perhaps he wanted to study goes out the window.
He was actually kind of hoping Hank wanted to study, since it would be an honor
to do so with such a brilliant mind. Charles admits he’s tried skimming Hank’s
thoughts, but they are much faster than everybody else’s.  
He gets anxious as they near his house, afraid of what his mother might be
doing. Thankfully, Hank doesn’t even question him when Charles rushes him up to
his room instead of introducing him to his parents.
“I have something I need to tell you,” Hank says the moment Charles closes his
bedroom door behind him. He thinks briefly about locking it to keep Sharon out,
but Hank would probably become uneasy.
“Oh?” Charles is taken by surprise when he turns around to see a suddenly
nervous and sweating Hank fiddle with his shoelaces. “I’m doing this because I
think you’re like me… please don’t freak out.” Hank bends down to his socks now
and Charles can’t understand all the thoughts racing through his mind. “I’ve
noticed how you know what the teacher wants before he even says it and how you
start taking out books without being told to. I’ve seen you in the hallways
breaking up fights that haven’t even started yet.”
Charles is taken aback since he can’t remember ever being so obvious and always
thought he left most of the teacher’s minds alone.
“I think you can predict the future,” Hank spits out finally. “and I… I well.
I’ll just show you, shall I?” Hank fumbles slightly trying to take off his sock
quickly. He’s has been called Bigfoot by his classmates due to his unusually
large size of shoe, and now Charles realizes why they have to be so big.
Hank’s feet are unlike anything Charles has ever seen before. They are long
certainly, but his toes are long like fingers and move like them as well. He
watches as Hank stretches out his toes and flexes them. Suddenly Hank drops a
pen from his pocket, emboldened by Charles’s attention and lack of disgust, his
feet catch it before the pen reaches the ground.
“I was born with prehensile feet,” Hank states the obvious. “I can climb with
them as well, and that isn’t all.” Charles is expecting a tail to appear behind
Hank. He takes a calming breath and says, “I’m smart.”
Charles feels like laughing, but settles for a bright smile. “How wonderful.”
***** Chapter 6 *****


Erik starts his first day at Saint Stanley Academy with a whole group of new
friends. Charles immediately introduced Hank to Erik, and a few days into the
summer Sean sees Erik using his abilities to keep a display of canned food from
falling to the floor. Soon Erik, Charles, Hank, Sean, Alex, and Raven are
gathered around Erik’s stoop talking about their “superpowers” as Raven dubbed
their abilities. Sean with his “Godlike Voice”, Alex with his “Fiery Hoola
Hoops”, and Hank with his “Bozo Feet” (“I think he’s handsome,” Raven had
announced to anybody that would listen).  
For reasons unknown to Erik he finds himself getting lost in their newly formed
group. He isn’t used to so many people around him talking or demanding his
attention and Charles feels the same. Usually Erik’s home is a safe haven for
Charles where he isn’t bombarded with countless thoughts, but soon it’s turned
into a shelter for their group of young teens trying to cope with their powers.
Charles is happy to know there are others like him, and he loves trying to help
Sean broaden his range or Alex to not explode everything whenever he’s angry.
Alex is having the worse time with his powers at home and often acts out at
school, giving him countless detentions. Charles tries to talk him through his
troubled moments as best he can. However, he can’t help it that the happiest
part of the day is when he can escape with Erik to a quiet corner and simply
play chess or be quietly alone with Erik, enjoying his presence and calming
mind.

Erik’s only worry when his first day arrives is finding his way around the
massive building that he now calls school. Shaw had him working until the day
before school started, so he had no time to walk around with Charles to get
acquainted with the layout. Since Charles is only in two of his classes he
finds himself wandering around, trying not to look painfully lost, with his
schedule clutched in his fist.
The morning started out alright with Erik’s arm latched firmly around Charles’s
shoulder as they found his way to their first class of the day. He honestly
doesn’t remember the teacher’s name since the first period was spent with him
poking the back of Charles’s head with his pencil and snickering when Charles
sends him a growling  “Stop it”  inside his head. He so loves aggravating
Charles, especially when his mouth pouts at him, and he honesty loves hearing
his friend’s voice bounce around inside his head.

The first three classes are over and there’s still one more to go before lunch.
The hallways are clearing rapidly and Erik still hasn’t found room 312. He
knows he shares it with Charles, but Charles couldn’t walk him to his room
since his last class was outside in the greenhouse. Erik’s footsteps slow as he
concentrates to feel outward, searching through all the metal inside the school
for the small and unique necklace that’s always around Charles’s neck.
Charles can feel his necklace heating up against his chest while worriedly
watching the door; it tugs a bit letting him know that Erik found him.
“Lost again, Erik?”  Charles voice is filled with amusement.
Erik turns quickly in the opposite direction, feeling the pull of silver, and
runs before the bell rings. He arrives just in time and sees Charles smile
shyly towards him while casually removing his bag from the chair next to him;
all the other seats are filled.
Lunch time finally arrives with Erik bumping elbows with Charles, each
clutching a tray as they go through the line. He takes a moment as he waits for
his meal to watch Charles walk away in the school’s uniform, slacks encasing
his rear nicely. Erik doesn’t even realize that Charles might pick up on his
thoughts until Charles trips over nothing, and looks back at Erik with a
flushed face.

“I didn’t mean to-” Erik starts to apologize as he finally catches up, but
Charles interrupts right away.
“I heard teachers having sex.” Charles feels it’s alarmingly easy to lie to
Erik when trying to keep them from swerving into an awkward conversation.
“What?” Erik laughs out loudly, not able to keep the relief from his face.
“Which ones?” He follows Charles who turns the corner before they reach the
cafeteria and pushes through the doors to outside. Erik can make out the small
cluster of guys sitting under one of the biggest trees on the Stanley Academy
property; Alex has caught something on fire again.
“Don’t know, but they sounded eager,” Charles stage whispers to Erik who is
walking closer to hear his answer. “Like animals at a zoo.” Erik barks out
another laugh, lightheaded with sudden happiness.
The first week of school ends with Erik signing up to play soccer, Raven
forcing Charles to pass Hank love letters, and a raucous pizza party. Erik
didn’t want to sign up for soccer at first, but Sean took that decision out of
his hands and a comment about how much Charles loves  football  sealed the
deal.
The love letters were forced upon Charles and he had no choice but to pass the
red papered, cotton candy scented, letters to a blushing and bumbling Hank, or
Raven claimed she’d stalk them at school and pass the notes herself. Charles
thought if Raven passed the note then Hank might faint; he isn’t used to
adoring females. He’s just thankful she was never this outright with Erik and
that her crush on his best friend has calmed down a bit.
The pizza party comes as a necessity since everybody just decided without
asking that they were going to stay over at Erik’s house that Friday. It was
after a soccer practice in which Coach Fury decided to run them ragged, having
them do suicide laps since three of the teammates were five minutes late.
Charles sat on the metal stands in his usual seat along with Raven, reading
from a giant text book as Erik killed himself on the field. He did look up
every once and a while to admire the view of Erik’s toned body in a football
kit.
Charles had to reread the same page over a few times whenever Erik used the end
of his shirt to wipe sweat away from his forehead. He can’t wait to see what
becomes of Erik’s narrow waist and broad shoulders once his workouts start
paying off physically. Erik’s already lean and wiry, but with a bit more added
muscle, Charles could make a fool out of himself.
Typically after a hard practice Nina would already have dinner ready and
waiting to serve all the hungry soccer players, plus Charles and Raven. This
time though, Nina is spending the weekend in the city with Shaw and left money
for pizza and other microwaveable items (they are forbidden from using the
stove after Alex had set it aflame, engulfing Nina’s favorite oven mitt).
Once the pizzas arrive (all seven of them), they crowd around the front porch
of Erik’s house since having that many sweaty bodies in a small house wasn’t a
very good idea. Erik takes his paper plate and sits up against his house,
watching as Raven tries to take off Hank’s shoe. Charles does his own watching
of Erik’s warm smile towards Raven’s antics from behind the screen door, before
Alex deems that the perfect time to be pushed out said door and almost trip,
pizza pressed against his shirt.
“Right, well.” Charles tries to compose himself while getting the pizza sauce
out of his school shirt. He really doesn’t want to mess with laundry tonight.
Another housekeeper quit due to his mother’s insults and vicious attacks. Third
housekeeper in two months. Charles honestly doesn’t think they’ll want to work
at a house that goes through housekeepers so quickly, even if they pay triple
what other families in the area do. Kurt calls his mother sometimes, but so far
hasn’t visited in almost seven months. Usually Sharon would be off chasing
after him, but that was back when she had people around to assist in her self
destruction. Thankfully for a few days after the phone calls she controls her
actions and Charles can get the house in order. Keeping the mansion from going
up in flames has been exhausting for Charles and thinking about more laundry
makes him want to weep.
He finally gets settled, forgetting about his ruined shirt, with his back
against Erik’s bent legs. He’s about to take a bite out of his pizza when
Erik’s legs part suddenly causing him to fall backwards against Erik’s chest.
The pizza slice still in his hand is in the perfect position for Erik to take a
bite out of so he does just that.
“Oy!” Charles tries to sit up, but Erik’s arms around his waist are keeping him
down. “Your hands have sauce on them! Oh god Erik, do you know how hard it is
to get stains out of clothes?”
“Not easy, that is why they’re called stains,” Erik mumbles, his pizza breath
blowing into Charles’s face which shouldn’t be as arousing as it is. Charles
really shouldn’t feel so comfortable wrapped up against Erik’s body, but this
is one moment where he tries his hardest not to think at all. Nobody else seems
to care about their position on the porch. Hank is tying his shoelaces tighter
after Raven’s most recent attempt at getting his feet naked, while Alex and
Sean are sword fighting with broken off branches, pizza sauce smeared all over
their faces. Charles feels content, so he stays resting against Erik’s chest
who actually allows him to eat his own food after he stops struggling to get
away.

Three months later and they are still having pizza parties every Friday, but
the location changes each week. Erik’s sixteenth birthday rolls around, and
instead of having everybody over for a party he just wants Nina, Raven, and
Charles and a quiet dinner. Raven goes over to her friend Angel’s house after
giving Erik a jersey with the name “bender” on the back and watches him blow
out his candles. Erik appreciates Raven’s gift, but doesn’t think he’ll wear
the shirt out in public. Nina gives him an old ford truck which one of the
ladies she takes care of son’s gave her a discount on. It’s big and rusty, but
it drives well. Shaw wanted to buy him something new, but Nina refused wanting
to get him something she could afford without help. Erik is obviously a natural
behind the wheel of a gigantic metal vehicle. He and Charles spend hours
driving around the block.
Erik only wanted Charles to stay over, which is perfect for Charles since his
gift is rather personal. He remembers a talk they had a few weeks ago how Erik
can hardly remember his parent’s voices anymore and how he’d give anything to
have that back. Charles only hopes he doesn’t cross a line.
“So what did you get me?” Erik asks playfully as he jumps onto his now
ridiculously small bed. He doesn’t fit length wise on the mattress anymore, so
his long legs rest off the edge. Charles can hardly believe they once fit side
by side. He can barely sit on the edge without crushing Erik’s legs.
“I wanted to try something,” Charles hesitates trying to figure out how to
phrase this without upsetting Erik.
“Kinky.”  Erik’s thought causes him to smile and relax, tension leaving his
shoulders.
“I want to try and bring out your long-term childhood memories and place them
in your short-term memory, so it’ll feel fresh in your mind.” Understanding
finally dawns on Erik’s face and he sits up, making room for Charles.
“What do you need me to do?”
“Keep your mind calm and open.” They sit facing each other on the bed,
reminiscent of the night neither of them can forget. Charles places one hand on
Erik’s temple while the other rests on his own.
Charles’s fingers are cool where they are pressed against Erik’s skin. Erik
feels a strange trail of warmth radiate from Charles’s cold fingers all the way
down to the pit of his stomach, leaving his temples cool and yet his insides
warm with the nudge of Charles’s mind.
“Here I go,” Charles’s voice is a rough whisper as Erik finally feels him
inside his mind. It’s hard to explain the feeling of having another person
inside your head, but Erik imagines it’s a lot like suffocating, in a good way.
His own mind is trying to come to terms with this foreign consciousness, but it
doesn’t seem like an invader. He’s surrounded by Charles’s presence and it’s
the best feeling he’s ever had.
Erik gasps out when Charles speaks again, but this time in his head.  “You’ve a
beautiful mind.”
He feels like being dunked under water when Charles nudges at his memories and
pulls him down alongside him through long forgotten days. Charles watches
through Erik’s own eyes as he’s standing over Charles who is curled up,
shivering and bloody on his tiny bed two years ago. He feels Erik’s emotions of
anger, protectiveness, guilt, and love as if they were his own. Charles feels
like he’s gone too far and is about to pull back, but Erik mind clings to him
and keeps him from running away. They dive deeper.
Charles is Erik aged six. He’s being walked to the park with his hand in his
father’s. Erik looks up adoringly at his tall Papa who smiles with a hint of
sadness back down at his only son.
“Papa, you won’t grow old, right?” Erik and his father left the house so his
mother could comfort her friend whose mother had finally passed away at the
ripe old age of eighty.
“We all grow old, darling.” His father halts his steps knowing what is going to
come next. He kneels down so he’s eye level to his son. “That’s the way of
life. We must die for others to live.”
Erik’s lip starts to quiver thinking about losing his parents. “I don’t want
you to die.” He throws himself into his father’s strong arms that lift him up
off the ground and into safety.
“I’m not going anywhere for a long time, son. I’ll be there to watch you
explain the ways of life to your own children someday.” He settles Erik up onto
his shoulders and tries to get him to smile by bouncing the rest of the way to
the park, leaving giggles in their wake.
Charles digs further into Erik’s mind searching for the woman that’s surrounded
in love, lost, and longing. Erik’s mother. The first memory Charles pulls up is
of a seven year old Erik, a few days before Hanukkah, helping his mother bake
Lebkuchen. The memory is a long lost one, and Erik had forgotten about the
taste of the gingerbread like treat and how his mother used sing to him as he
sat atop the kitchen counter eating random ingredients before they are able to
be mixed in.
“Darling, if you eat all the hazelnuts they’ll be none left for the cookies!”
His mother pinches his nose before slowly taking the bowl, batting his hand
away when he reaches for another.
Suddenly his father bursts through the backdoor in a rush of freezingly bitter
wind, snow falling off his long coat and hat. His mother goes to help him take
off his winter clothes and hang them up to dry.
“My love.” His father wraps his arms around his mother to swirl her around
gently, knocking a bowl of flour to the ground. “I’ve walked through miles of
snow just to feel you in my arms again!” He brings his lips down to kiss her
cheeks and forehead, rubbing their noses together.
“Your face is freezing!” His mother tries to wiggle out of her husband’s grasp,
the flour from her clothes now all over his ratty work uniform.
“But you love this face anyways,” he states as a fact before claiming a kiss
and letting her go. Erik watches as his father steals a few hazelnuts before
his mother can stop him. “Erik, my boy.” He kisses him on his forehead before
settling at the kitchen table, bringing his son onto his lap.
They stay in the memory long enough to watch Erik’s family laugh and talk as
they bake cookies and breads. Charles doesn’t know how much time has passed,
but he can’t seem to pull away anymore.
He starts to panic as the memory fades and they are both plunged into freezing
water, drowning. Erik feels Charles’s distress and grabs at a memory that’s
often on his mind, taking them away from the painful feeling of water rushing
into their lungs.
He’s pulled them away to his most favorite and often called upon memory of them
rutting against each other in his bed. Charles tries retreat once more, but
because their minds are so intertwined Erik follows Charles’s right into his
own memories.

Charles is five years old. He’s uncomfortable in a tweed suit and stuck atop a
counter where his nanny left him before hurrying out of the room due to the
flying glass his mother kept hurdling around. She abandons the small boy to
keep herself safe. Everybody is always looking after themselves, but never for
him.
Charles wants to jump down, but the ground is too far away. He wishes his
father with his ridiculously large glasses would swoop in and nestle him in his
skinny yet strong arms, shield him from Sharon’s fury. His father is dead
though and an intruder has taken his place within a year. The large man that
Sharon wants Charles to call Father is the complete opposite of Brian Xavier in
every way. He’s muscled where his father was lean, viciously cruel where his
father was sweetly naïve, and instead of being cradled he’s pushed out the way
and slapped around.
“I love you,” though the statement should be said filled with adoration, it
sounds ugly and hateful from where it’s shouted by Sharon. Her arms are a fury
of smacks at Kurt, sometimes catching up any available glass that hasn’t yet
been broken. “You’ve done this to me!”
The stem of a wine glass gets broken off and goes flying towards Charles’s
small form, still stranded on the kitchen’s island. He cries out as it cuts
into his forehead. His pain goes unnoticed by his mother who follows Kurt into
another room, both Erik and Charles watches the blood drip down into tiny
hands.
Erik pulls them into a happier memory. A young Charles stealing the glasses off
his father’s face, identical blue eyes crinkled with laughter as his mother
laughs in the other room with her friends. They’re suddenly tugged into another
memory of Erik’s. They’re on their backs in the grass, looking up at Erik’s
smiling mother whose blazing green eyes are filled with warmth. She’s gently
fixing a crown of flowers around Erik’s head.
“Der Prinz,” her voice is soft and the love she has for her only child is
obvious. Erik looks to the other side of him to his father, drenched in
sunshine. His father almost looks red in the light, playing the harmonica. The
field they’re lying in is filled with a soft yellowish light from the setting
sun. It’s one of the happiest memories that Erik has forgotten.
Charles’s heart aches because he’s never had that kind of love and he’s too
broken to even know how to obtain such a relationship. His heart aches because
Erik will once again have what he so misses, and Charles will always be on the
outside looking in. Erik will have a wife and child while Charles becomes his
own hero.

Charles’s eyes fly open as he feels a sharp, incessant tug at his neck. It
takes a few seconds for his mind to disengage from Erik’s own and the
surroundings from the memories fade away, bringing them back to the small
bedroom. He’s vision is still blurry due to the unshed tears in his eyes, a
sudden longing engulfs him. His mind feels bruised from where Erik was torn
from him. He wants to dive back in and live inside Erik’s beautiful memories.
Erik’s hand is clutching the necklace around Charles’s neck tightly in a fist
with their foreheads pressed tightly together, tear tracks staining both their
cheeks.
“I didn’t know I still had that,” Erik says out loud causing Charles to wince
slightly. He wants to hear that voice back inside his mind.
“Those were very beautiful memories, Erik. Thank you.”
“I’ve always wished you could meet them.” The quiet yet truthful statement
brings a smile to Charles’s face. He pulls back an inch to take in Erik’s face
fully.
“You look just like them; a perfect combination.”
Erik brings his hand up to gently wipe away a tear from the corner of Charles’s
eyelid. “You have your father’s eyes.”
Charles clears his throat roughly and sits back, away from Erik’s closeness.
“I think this time was a bit rough, but next time I’ll actually know what I’m
doing,” Charles pretends to not have heard the comment about his eyes. He’s
been made aware over the years by his mother how much his eyes are like Brian’s
and he doesn’t view it as a compliment. “That is if you want there to be a next
time,” he’s suddenly nervous Erik won’t allow him back into his mind because of
what he’s seen of Charles’s own. “If you don’t, that’s fine.”
His eyes shy away from Erik to stare at the threadbare blanket underneath them.
Erik’s hand is still touching the necklace, thumb brushing against his
clavicle.
“Can we do it tomorrow?” The happiness in Erik’s voice brings Charles’s eye
back up. Erik’s coy smile is all the reassurance he needs. “I like you in my
head.”
Charles nods, unable to keep his own grin from getting ridiculously big. “Happy
Birthday, Erik.”

Junior year comes and goes in a flurry of homework, soccer practices, study
groups, and late nights spent talking quietly between Erik and Charles. Charles
no longer clams up whenever Erik slings his arm around his shoulder (which he
does often in school), or puts his head in Charles’s lap, or even when Erik
curls around him in bed or the hideout while he’s trying to read.
When they aren’t physically close then they’re having a conversation inside
Erik’s head. Surprisingly enough their grades don’t suffer from their lack of
concentration.
During summer break Charles gets sick, but refuses to go to the doctor.
“Rest and Nyquil will cure everything.” Charles’s hoarse voice claims whenever
Erik tries to get him to go. He’s decided to stay over and take care of Charles
until he feels better. Even if he wasn’t sick Erik would spend most of his time
there since he hates staying at his empty house with Nina away vacationing with
Shaw.
He spends most of his time trying to keep Charles comfortable and entertaining
Raven. He won’t admit it to anyone, but it’s one of the best summers he’s had,
Charles depending on him and Raven treating him like family.
Even though they are in the kitchen Raven and Erik are speaking quietly not to
disturb Charles’s sleep while making him chicken soup.
“When are you going to tell him?” Raven’s whispers from where she’s sitting on
the counter. She’s been trying to get Erik to just confess to Charles, thinking
he’ll welcome his advances.
“I think he already knows.” Erik frowns slightly as he says it, turning the
stove down.
“Are you two together then?” Her voice sounds more excited and louder than
before, her legs swinging back and forth.
“Not yet.” Erik thinks about ending high school with Charles by his side, going
to college with him, kissing him, growing old with him. He then thinks about
what might happen if they grow apart; Charles smiling at somebody else, holding
hands with them out in public, only nodding when passing Erik by. He won’t let
that happen. “We’ll always be friends.”
“But you want to smooch him!” Raven can tell Erik is thinking too much so she
jumps off the counter to squeeze Erik’s arm. He merely rolls his eyes, keeping
his back to her.
“I still want to kiss him even with a snotty nose,” Erik says with a hint of
longing.
“Oh Erik, that’s really,” she pauses thinking for the appropriate word.
“Gross.” Erik laughs self deprecatingly and continues to stir the soup.
“I bet his snot tastes amazing.” He deadpans while Raven backs up slowly with a
disgusted look on her face.
Meanwhile Charles is dreaming of lying in the sand on the beach, unable to move
his legs with Erik straddling his waist. Charles feels a warmth spreading all
over his body from his groin and he realizes they are both naked, Erik writhing
about on his lap with his hands running up and down Charles’s chest and sides.
Charles’s own nails are biting into Erik’s bare thigh as they rock their hips
together faster and faster, the sand feels like velvet underneath him.
Charles’s left hand goes up to where Erik’s mouth is open and panting to feel
the wetness his tongue is licking on the bottom lip. Erik sucks the digit into
his own mouth and hollow his cheeks, wringing a moan from Charles.
“Erik,” Charles pants loudly as he rocks up against Erik, their wet with
precome cocks grinding against each other almost painfully. Praises start
falling mumbled from Charles lips as Erik twists and lowers himself down to
bite at Charles’s jaw.
“I love you,” Erik’s voice is right in his ear and Charles is so so close. “I
love you,” his voice is louder now and Charles flinches away. Erik pulls back
and says right into his mouth, “I love you.”
The words are like pieces of glass as they enter his mouth, causing him to
choke and cough. Erik keeps grinding away faster and faster. Charles tries to
cry out, but whatever is in his throat is keeping him from speaking and from
breathing. Erik smiles as wetness hits Charles’s stomach.

He wakes with a start to see Erik sleeping in a chair nearby and chicken soup
cooling on his bedside table. He’s drenched in sweat and filled with fear, and
an erection tenting his light blanket. His dream felt too realistic and
terrifying for him to go back to sleep now, drowning in Erik’s love seems to be
an all too possible future for them both. It’s a dream that will haunt him for
the rest of the summer.
***** Chapter 7 *****
                                  Senior Year
The October sun is relentless as it shines down on Charles who is hunched over
his school books trying to get some homework done, as he uses his hand to keep
the fiery orb from blinding his eyes. Erik is out on the soccer field with this
shirt off which is another reason why Charles has his nose stuck in the giant
textbook with a piece of paper obscuring his view.
Erik has developed beautifully with his tightly built muscles stretched over
his back and chest and arms glistening with sweat, his lean torso rippling with
a hard earned six pack. Everything about his body makes Charles just want to
sit there and stare, forget about his grades or college ambitions. Drooling
might become an issue though.
A particularly hard question causes Charles to look away from his book and
stretch to clear his head. His eyes of course snap to Erik like magnets. He
soon becomes entranced by the way the sun glistens on Erik’s skin and makes his
hair look a reddish color. He finds himself creating sonnets in his head about
this sun-drenched God among men and then laughs quietly to himself if Erik ever
heard him say such a thing. Charles doesn’t even fight himself from sneaking
glances when he’s sure there’s no way of getting caught and they often joke
about Erik’s good looks being the bane of his existence. He is completely
unaware of the mousy brown haired girl eyeing him from the ground with a
determined look on her face.
Charles continues to watch Erik run up and down the field while the girl
quietly makes her way up the bleachers. Sean goes to take the ball from Erik
and ends up tripping him, sending Erik to the grassy ground rather painfully.
Charles stands up from where he’s seated and sends a quick message to make sure
he’s okay. Erik looks up at the stands to send him a pained smile before
brushing himself off. He’s had worse spills on the field.
“Excuse me?” Charles doesn’t notice the voice until she repeats herself a few
more times, his undivided attention on Erik who walks off his bloody knee.
“Excuse me?”
“Buh?” Charles looks to where she’s now sitting two rows down. “I mean what?”
He feels like kicking himself for allowing somebody else to see him mooning
over Erik.
“You’re in a few of my classes.” She smiles nervously, pushing her brown framed
glasses further up her nose.
“Oh, yes.” Charles searches for her name, not allowing himself to skim her mind
for the answer. “I’m terribly sorry, but you’re named Michelle?”
“Moira.” Her smile turns brighter, thinking how he almost got her name correct.
She fiddles with her brown cardigan; everything about this girl is brown.
“You’re Charles.”
“Yes, indeed.” Charles sits back down awkwardly, wondering when she’s going to
ask him to tutor her. That’s usually how things go when somebody he doesn’t
know strikes up a conversation with him. “Can I help you with something?” He is
only half paying attention as Erik is broadcasting his thoughts loudly from the
field now.
“Did you see that dick move Alex just pulled?”
“Oh well, actually yes.” She starts to say nervously, pulling at the patches on
her brown messenger bag.
“I’m going to pull all the fillings out of his teeth if he doesn’t stop hogging
the ball.”
“I’ve noticed you quite a bit during classes.” She’s still rambling, trying to
work the nerve up to finally ask him what she’s been wanting to since she first
saw his bright blue eyes and easy smile.
“My back is killing me. I’m going to sleep at your place tonight. My bed is too
small.”
“You’re so smart and,” she stalls trying to remember the speech she wrote and
rewrote last night.
“Not destroying Fury’s whistle was never an option.”
“And I really like your personality,” Moira starts chewing on her ponytail
coming up with the forgotten speech as she goes.
“Who is that girl talking to yo—OOF!”
Charles stands up abruptly once more, realizing that Erik has taken a soccer
ball rather painfully to the stomach. He’s doubled over on his knees.
“Will you go out with me?” Moira finally works up the courage as it looks like
Charles is about to run away.
“Pardon?”
“I’m dying.”
“Don’t be so dramatic, Erik.”
“I wanted to know if you would like to possibly, maybe, if you want, go out on
a date with me?” Her face is bright red and her eyes are focused on her hands.
“I know it’s a bit forward, but my mother has always told me to go after what I
want.”
“I’m going to kill him.”
Erik’s voice is murderous and he sounds serious which only means one thing.
Janos.
“Excuse me.” Charles for reasons unknown pats her on the head before jumping
down off the bleachers and running towards the field. He can already see Alex
and Sean trying to restrain the wounded Erik from going after his nemesis:
Jano, the black haired boy laughing at Erik’s pain with his friend Wade while
spinning the ball on his finger.
Since Erik first saw Janos he didn’t like him and the feeling was mutual. Janos
is constantly bringing up the fact that Erik isn’t rich and makes fun of Erik’s
accent that still comes out when exhausted or upset. They’ve had a few scuffles
in the past off school grounds, and they’ve ended with both sides being bloody
messes.
“I’ll wait for you!” Moira calls after Charles as he pushes past the metal gate
onto the field.
Erik manages to break free from their hold to run towards Janos, but Charles
runs full speed and tackles him before he is able to strike.
“Relax. Calm your mind.”
“Dammit, Charles,” Erik wheezes out of breath and in pain since Charles’s
shoulder hit him in the same spot the soccer ball had.
“You’ll get suspended.”
“What in the hell, boys?” Fury booms from the sidelines. “This isn’t how you
play soccer!” He picks up and hurdles an orange cone at the boys on the ground
while directing his next yelling fit to Wade and Janos, “If you two ladies are
done snickering then you’ll be able to give me five laps for being jackasses
for that wild kick.”
Charles waits until they are off running before removing his weight from Erik’s
body. He knows if Erik really wanted he could have pushed him aside and he’s
grateful Erik listened to him.
“Pretty boy, get off my field!” The coach blows his whistle again, sending
Charles into motion running back towards his books and Moira, as he passes Fury
hits him on the back with his clipboard.
“Is he okay?” Moira asks with worry evident in her voice. He looks back towards
the field to see Alex and Sean helping brush himself off.
“I’m going to destroy all your relaxation tapes.”
“He’s fine.” He smiles brightly, ignoring Erik’s threat.
“I had no idea this sport was so violent.” She’s hugging her bag as if scared.
Charles shrugs with no comment, sitting down beside her and getting his papers
in order. “So,” she starts about to ask the question again.
“I’ll think about it.” He interrupts with no real answer ready. Nobody has
actually come up to him and asked him out so directly before. Usually the
interested party sends him a note or slips one inside his locker and he can
just simply ignore it or send back a short reply.
“Okay.” Moira smiles sweetly at him causing him to feel like a horrible person.
She seems nice and if the classes she takes are any indication, she’s
brilliant. She makes no move to leave so Charles breaks his own rule to skim
her thoughts. He’s shocked at what he finds.
“I hope he likes me. He seems nice. Mother would like him. I should leave to
start working on my paper, but Charles is actually talking to me.” Her thoughts
are soft and subdued and completely honest.
Usually he hears the complete opposite of what somebody’s saying or when he’s
hearing Erik’s thoughts they are loud and overpower all the other thoughts from
everybody else running through his head. Charles likes that about Erik’s mind,
but perhaps a subdued mind has its fine points as well. Her thoughts are quiet
and aren’t nagging to be heard. He could block them out entirely without even
thinking much but with Erik’s he has to concentrate on building walls whenever
he feels they need privacy.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Charles nods at her as he follows Erik and the
rest of the team over to the locker rooms. He keeps looking back at her to see
how she hasn’t moved or glanced away from his residing back.
Charles soon forgets about Moira and her sudden proposal as he sits on the
metal bench inside the locker room, catching Erik’s cast off sweaty kit to
stuff it into a laundry bag. He stares down at his feet as Erik walks bare-
arsed into the showers. He thinks idly as he waits that perhaps he should spend
more time with the small mousy, quiet girl who doesn’t make his blood boil or
skin feel too tight.

Later that night as Erik complains about Janos and “that silent bastard” Wade,
Charles is miles away thinking about the future and why he feels a dread deep
down in his stomach.
“Charles, you look like you’re thinking too much.” Erik rolls over on his side
to spoon Charles’s back as he takes off his shoes.
“Just worried that’s all.”
“Well don’t. I’m the one that’s supposed to worry, remember?” Erik squeezes his
side to make him jump. “Besides I hear worrying too much will cause your hair
to fall out, and I doubt you can pull off the bald look.” He ruffles his hair
trying to get a smile, but Charles shrugs off his hands. “What are you worried
about anyways?”
Charles goes to sit at his desk chair instead of right next to Erik on the bed.
“Not your grades, right?” Erik watches him as he riffles through the myriad
stacks of study guides and old tests. “I don’t think you’ve ever failed a final
in your life, Charles.”
“I keep thinking about the future and how everything is going to change.”
Charles thinks the possibility of getting accepted into different colleges
though they’ve talked about applying to some of the same schools; Charles has
applied for two that Erik doesn’t know about.
“I won’t be changing.” Erik smiles at him before flinging backwards onto the
bed. “I’ll be right by your side to keep your hair from falling out.”
The next morning Charles wakes up first to find Erik’s morning erection pressed
hard against his back and his own answering hardness begging for attention. He
knows exactly what he’s going to say to Moira.

In all honesty Charles thought it would be a good idea to invite Moira to
Raven’s sixteenth birthday party. Raven has repeatedly told him in the past
that she wishes she and Angel had another girl in their group of friends and
well, Moira is a girl. Raven and Angel have planned two big parties for the
month of October and the first is Raven’s small birthday celebration at the
roller rink and then the big Halloween party at Sean’s house.
Charles doesn’t tell anybody of his plan as he marches into school or tries to,
but Erik has his arm around his shoulder jostling him around and stalling him
from his mission of getting a girlfriend. Moira is surprisingly in his first
class of the day, surprisingly because he hasn’t noticed her until now. He is
also surprised to find she sits in the sit right next to his in the front row.
“Hello Charles,” she says quietly as he enters the room.
“Do you want to go with me to my cousin’s birthday party?” he asks immediately
before he chickens out.
“Yes!” she responds with her voice the loudest Charles has ever heard it. “I’d
love to.”
“Just as friends, though,” Charles makes sure to say this while looking
directly into her eyes. “Let’s get to know each other first before diving into
the realm of boyfriend girlfriend. Not a date.” Due to Moira’s slight frown he
quickly adds, “yet.”The rest of the class is spent with Moira smiling brightly
and Charles’s mind miles away.

Raven’s party wasn’t until that Friday night and since it was still Wednesday,
Charles thought perhaps he wouldn’t actually see Moira until that day. However
for the next two days at school Moira was a fixture at his side making her
quiet comments about schoolwork or talking about her grandmother.
“Nice cardigan,” Erik remarks with a smirk as he sees her walking close to
Charles’s side. Moira dipped her head into a nod, but remains quiet. It’s the
first time introducing Moira to his group of friends during lunchtime.
“I thought you liked cardigans.” Charles can feel Erik’s hostility.
“I likeyou in cardigans.”
“Who is she?” Sean blurts out rather smoothly with bits of cheeseburger flying
out his mouth, jerking Charles and Erik back to the present.
“Oh, well,” Charles starts trying to figure out what to call Moira who might be
his potential girlfriend.
“I’m Moira.” Both Charles and Erik look shocked as she finally speaks louder
than a whisper for the entire group to hear.
“I’ve invited her to your birthday, Raven.” Charles looks over at his sister
who is currently trying to rest her head in Hank’s lap which is occupied with
text books. She perks up at his statement and pushes off Hank to sit up
straight.
“Why?”
“Because she’s my friend.”
She sits and contemplates while staring between the new Moira and the boy she
loves like a brother. After a while she finally shrugs with a, “Whatever
Charles.” The entire group minus Erik goes back to eating and talking amongst
themselves. Charles sits down next to Erik instead of leaning against his bent
knees like he usually does, Moira right beside him.
“Alright, Moira?” Erik asks with a lewd look upon his face that doesn’t sit
well with Charles. Moira just nods before taking a dainty bite out of her
apple. “Do you have a boyfriend, Moira? Plans for the future, Moira? Going to
college, Moira?”
Charles’s gaze could burn a whole in Erik’s face with his intensity. “What do
you think you’re doing?”
“Getting to know your newfriend.”
“I’ve applied to Berkley.” She thankfully refuses the other two questions.
“You?” God bless her she is actually looking into Erik’s eyes now as if in
challenge or trying at least since her eyes keep darting away from Erik’s gaze.
“Charles and I haven’t decided yet,” he replies back easily with a shark like
grin as if trying to intimidate her further.
“Erik, be nice.” Charles sends the thought with a bit more viciousness than he
intended to. He just hates seeing the quiet girl get walked over and hates
seeing Erik play the bully. Erik sends him a sharp look as if surprised.
“So wherever Charles goes you’ll go?” Moira laughs slightly as if it’s supposed
to be a joke, but doesn’t actually know yet.
“Precisely.”

Raven’s birthday finally comes, and in the short amount of time Erik and Moira
have known each other they’ve found a way to tolerate being in the same area.
Whenever Erik is talking to Charles, Moira pretends to not exist and whenever
she is talking to Charles, Erik pretends she doesn’t exist.
Thirty minutes into they party and Charles isn’t enjoying himself at all. He is
happy and rather amused to watch Raven try and jump around in her roller
skates, clinging to Erik who is by far the best skater out of the bunch. Her
excitement is contagious in most cases, but right now Charles is awkward
sitting in a booth with Moira who refuses to put on the rental skates.
A slow song comes on and the lights from above shine down little red stars on
the rink. Raven looks around briefly for Hank, but he’s nowhere to be seen so
she settles with looping her arm through Erik’s who voices no complaints.
Charles tries not to feel the pang of jealousy as Erik whips her around the
turns, laughter erupting from the birthday girl.
After they’ve skated a few more circles around the rink, the group gathers at
the table for Raven to blow out her candles. The cake was homemade by Angel and
Sean, and looks surprisingly like Italy.
“It’s a skate, Charles.” Angel rolls her eyes over what is obviously the
country of Italy in the form of a cake.
“Make a wish and blow out your candles already so we can cut into Italy!” Erik
exclaims loudly from where’s he’s seated on the other side of Charles.
“Make sure you don’t kill any EYE-talians, Rave.” Alex passes over the knife
he’s been hiding inside his leather jacket. They start singing Happy Birthday
as Raven closes her eyes and makes to blow out the candles.
“Wait!” Raven sits back away from the cake with her hands up. “Instead of a
Birthday wish can I have a Birthday request?”
“Maybe.” Charles doesn’t want to agree right away without knowing the request.
“I’d like to finally have my first kiss today,” Raven announces crossing her
arms. Hank suddenly looks extremely nervous.
“Hank?” Charles asks the boy that’s now slumped in his seat.
“Not with Hank.” Raven surprises the whole group by looking at Erik. “I want
Erik to be my first kiss.”
“I thought you got over that crush,” Erik says fondly with a smile instead of
recoiling like Charles has done.
“You can’t kiss Erik!” Charles interrupts, “He-he- He’s like your brother.” He
struggles to come up with a reason.
“A hot brother,” Angel mumbles over her breath, nudging Raven’s side
encouragingly.
“I’ll do it,” Erik says with a shrug, leaning closer to Raven. “No tongue
though.”
“Erik!” Charles can’t keep the dismay and shock out of his voice, Moira’s
presence beside him is so quiet he completely forgets she’s glued to his side.
Raven mimics Erik’s actions and leans forward until their lips touch slightly
before grabbing him by the ears and crushing their mouths together. “No!”
Charles hits the table with his palm causing them to break apart.
“Relax, Charles. It’s her birthday.” The mood around the table has changed
abruptly thanks to Charles’s outcry.
“I need air.” Charles pushes Erik out of the booth to head for the door,
completely ashamed.

Charles doesn’t realize he’s been followed until he feels a small shoulder. He
turns around to see Moira sitting silently beside him. He blurts out the only
reasonable thing to do, “Be my date to Halloween.” Moira looks surprised by his
request. “Actual date. Boyfriend girlfriend, date.” They hear the metal door
open and both look up to see Erik standing there.
“Okay, Charles. I’ll go with you.”Moira responses as if Erik hadn’t just barged
out the door causing him to freeze in his tracks.
“Moira, will you excuse us for a second?” Charles can see Erik’s jaw clench
after asking her so politely as she looks over to Charles for approval. He nods
her away and waits until she’s back inside before looking up at Erik.
“It’s a joke.”
“It is not,” Charles is about to defend his new relationship with Moira and how
very real and unfunny it is, before Erik barges on.
“Raven told me what she was going to do to get a rise out of Hank,” Erik
explains as he sits down where Moira had just vacated. “I didn’t mean to upset
you so much.” His eyes look soft as he stares into Charles’s own. “Why did you
get so angry?”
Charles could answer truthfully, but that would get them nowhere; only
heartbreak is down that road. Instead he answers with, “You kissed my sister.
You were supposed to protect her like a brother and you kissed her!”
The disappointment from Erik is so overwhelming Charles has to look away. “No
tongues though,” Erik replies with a sad little smile. Charles shrugs and the
rest of the party they spend avoiding each other. Erik however spies Hank
trying to make Raven feel better after seeing the rift she has caused between
the two closest people she has as a family.

The next day Erik is worried he really crossed the line when Charles doesn’t
show up all day at his house. He decides to blame it all on stupid ideas and
force Charles to forgive him as he marches down the path through the woods
they’ve created due to frequent use.
Erik’s about to knock on Charles’s door when he hears voices inside so instead
he opens it to reveal Hank sticking electrodes all over Charles’s forehead.
Hank is rambling on about brain frequencies and wavelengths and whatnot. When
Charles sees Erik enter he gives a shy wave and a smile, trying not to dislodge
any of the wires.
“Erik, don’t disturb him. I’m experimenting,” Hank grumbles as if people have
been disturbing him all day and by the look of Raven’s magazines scattered
around the floor he guesses they have been.
“What an adorable lab rat you make, Charles.”
“Don’t spoil this for him, Erik. He won’t forgive you like I will.”
And with that they both know everything is alright between them, or at least
for now.

It’s finally Halloween and Charles feels ridiculous dressed as Raggedy Andy,
but ever since Raven joined their family she has made him wear matching
Halloween costumes every year. So far he’s been Romeo, Fred Flintstone, the red
Power Ranger, Hansel, and embarrassingly last year he was Adam. Charles longs
for the day when Hank or some other lucky fellow will take his place.
Charles is parked in front of Moira’s Tudor style house hoping she’ll show soon
so he won’t have to meet her parents. Raven is already at the party helping
Sean decorate and set up along with Angel. Sean and Alex had handed out flyers
at the skate park so there’s no telling how many outside their own group will
show up.
Charles absently pulls on the red yarn wig wishing that Raven had let him pick
out their costumes. He’s about to work up the nerve to go knock on the door
when finally it opens and Moira comes bounding down towards his Mercedes. Or at
least Charles thinks its Moira, but he can’t be sure with the white sheet over
their head. The ghostly person opens the passenger seat door though, and sits
down.
“Moira?”
“Just drive,” Moira’s voice squeaks out and Charles happily follows her
instructions. Once her house is out of view and they’re safely a few blocks
away Moira pulls the sheet over her head to reveal a tight fitting white tank
top, white daisy duke shorts, and a white choker around her neck. Her face is
however painted white and there’s fake bruising around her face along with
Ghostly earrings to remind everybody what she’s supposed to be dressed like.
“Moira!” Charles exclaims out of shock and tries to keep from swerving into the
wrong lane. He isn’t used to and isn’t prepared to view Moira in anything but
cardigans and her skirts that go over her knees.
“My sister dressed me,” Moira pulls at her shorts trying to cover herself up.
“She said nobody would want to buy the cow if they couldn’t see it’s udders.”
Charles chokes on his own spit. “Do you like it? I should put the sheet back
on.”
“No, no, it’s fine.” Charles thinks he should compliment her body, but honestly
it doesn’t do anything for him. “I just need to get used to it,” he thinks
lamely. “Moira is my girlfriend now.”
“You look cute.” She gestures to the red spots on his cheeks causing him to
groan.

There’s several teens gathered around Sean’s front porch which is decked out in
fake spider webs and orange lights. Charles recognizes the group of faux
vampires from around town, but doesn’t know their names. Erik’s truck is parked
in the driveway along with a few other junky cars handed down to new drivers
from their parents. Charles can’t explain why he has butterflies in his stomach
as he opens Moira’s door for her. Their ride has been silent both vocally and
thought-wise. Moira’s anxiety isn’t even loud.
“Charles!” Raven shouts, bursting through the screen door, hand on her hip
showing off her blue checked dress and white apron. Moira’s arm is laced
through Charles’s, her walking is a bit stilted due to the high white heels her
sister forced upon her. “Oh my god, Moira. What are you wearing?! There might
be children around!” Raven’s dress sits high up on her own thighs, their
lengths almost matching.
“Do you think it’s too much?” Moira asks worriedly. “Should I get the sheet?”
“I’m just joking, Mous-Moira.” Charles shoots her daggers as they make their
way inside the already crowded house.
“Great turnout, huh?” Angel asks from where she’s seated atop the kitchen
counter, glistening wings stretched out behind her with antennae headband and
dramatic makeup. “Sean’s step-dad is being a real buzzzz kill.” Raven cackles
at her friend’s joke as Charles turns to see Sean being lectured by a gruff man
with heavy sideburns, weirdly styled hair, and lumberjackish clothing. Sean is
dressed in a ginger afro, seventies style tux, and a large peace sign is
dangling from his neck.
“Listen to me, Bub. Nobody touches my beer,” his voice is roughened by smoking
and long hours of heavy drinking.
“We’re all underage, Logan.” His step-dad makes a disbelieving noise and sucks
on his cigar, taking in all the teens around him. “If anybody disturbs me
inside the shed, I won’t be responsible for the violence that ensues.” Logan
pushes past Moira, eliciting a high pitched squeak, and banging out the back
door. Sean sighs heavily before spotting Charles.
“Raggedy Charlie!” He does an impromptu seventies style dance number as he
shimmies over. “Erik was wondering what was taking you so long to get ready!”
“I’ve brought non-alcoholic beer,” Hank announces as he walks into kitchen
dressed in a lab coat, tie, and a thicker set of glasses.
“Oh man, I was hoping you’d dress up as Bozo the clown!” Sean takes the brown
paper bag and goes to throw it in the trash before Angel stops him.
“I think he looks dreamy,” Raven sighs as she fixes the white bonnet on her
head causing Hank to blush and fix his tie.
Two hours into the party and things have gotten a little out of hand. Alex
dressed as a firefighter, has brought the garden hose into the house and
started to spray the crowd of teenagers as they dance around to Hot in Herre.
Charles is beginning to suspect that alcohol has somehow made it into the
systems of the underage mass, and the constant grip of Moira’s hand is no
longer digging into his arm. He looked around wildly for her in fear she was in
trouble, but quickly found her sitting quietly on the couch talking to Hank
with a giggling Raven on his lap. The thoughts of the combined crowd are
getting to Charles so he heads upstairs to try and gain some distance between
his mind and theirs.
Charles enters what appears to be Sean’s younger sister’s room to gather his
thoughts and calm his mind. He thinks back to that night in Erik’s bedroom and
how all the thoughts just quieted down like they are doing now, and feels the
soothing hum of Erik’s mind. Erik’s thoughts feel strange however, slurred and
jumbled around, not making any sense like they usually do. He searches out,
trying to find where his friend is and goes to look out the window.
Erik is seating inside his truck, bottle in his hand. He feels awful. He was
hoping tonight would be fun and he could spend it staring at Charles in another
one of his ridiculous costumes that makes Raven grin like mad. Instead every
time he caught a glimpse of Charles, Moira was right there stuck to his side
like a leech. Okay no, he hasn’t tried to get along with Moira, but something
doesn’t set right with her. She seems secretive and as if she knows Charles
better than anybody which is plain absurd to Erik. Halloween is usually a fun
occasion and Moira has ruined it. Charles probably hasn’t even noticed his
absence with Moira right there to talk to. He knows he’s being childish, but
the alcohol Sean’s step-dad gave him is causing him to think childish is the
right approach to this situation.
“You look heartbroken,” Logan had said when he stepped out his shed to make
sure his wife’s car wasn’t messed with. She was out of town and had put Logan
in charge of her car; she said nothin’ about her son destroying the house so
he’ll just let the teens have their fun. Until she came home and grounded not
only Sean, but Alex as well since she carried that kind of power. The poor boy
looked completely heartbroken so Logan thought a bottle, or well the rest of
his case wouldn’t hurt him any.
So there Erik was inside his truck, first time drunk, and acting like a
schoolgirl over Charles.
“It’s his entire fault,” Erik thinks as he takes another gulp of beer and makes
a face at the taste.
“What’s my fault?” Charles asks as he climbs into the passenger seat, causing
the cab to rock back and forth, sloshing some liquid out of the bottle. “Why
are you drinking? How are you drinking? Who gave you booze?”
Erik just stares at him as if he’s an apparition, eyes glassy from too much
drink. He leans over so his breath invades Charles’s own with their faces
barely apart. “Boop,” Erik bops the painted red triangle atop Charles’s nose.
“You’re adorable.”
“I can’t believe how drunk you are.” Charles laughs slightly causing Erik’s
face to heat up.
“Red yarn looks really good on you, my darling.” Erik’s hand drops from his
nose to Charles’s neck, resting on the side lightly, thumb tracing up and down
gently.
“I wish I could say the same about alcohol to you, dear.” Charles’s eyebrows
crinkle together in the most adorable way Erik has ever seen. He badly wants to
kiss his lips and coax them open for his tongue to delve in and out in and out,
leaving him breathless. “What are you supposed to be dressed as anyway?”
“Can’t you read, Charles?” Erik shows him the name tag that says, “Hello I’m: a
Shark,” in Raven’s loopy handwriting. He leans forward for Charles to see the
homemade cardboard cutout of a blue colored fin and grins widely. “I’mma
Shark.”
“Of course you are.” Charles pulls at the loopy bowtie around his neck,
allowing Erik’s gaze to wander down towards the skin underneath. Erik goes from
playfully drunk to suddenly sober and high on desire.
“Come here to me,” Erik whispers as he puts his arm up on the back of the seat,
giving Charles room to side closer.
“Why?” Charles bites his bottom lip as he stares at Erik’s mouth which seems to
be drawing closer and closer.
“Don’t think.” Erik’s arm resting on the seat comes up to frame the other side
of Charles’s neck, dragging him closer. The first touch of their lips is
gentle, almost shy. They keep passing small closemouthed kisses back and forth
until Erik moves his hands lower to the small of Charles’s back, bringing him
closer and finally onto his lap. The cardboard fin is digging into his back,
but he ignores it in favor of the hard bulge of Charles digging into his front.
The taste of Erik’s mouth is overpowered by the cheap beer, but Charles can’t
help from opening wider and moaning in relief once their tongues touch. The
closemouthed kisses turn messy and wet as Erik sucks on his lips before shoving
his tongue almost forcefully inside, but Charles isn’t putting up a fight.
“That’s it,” Erik murmurs appreciatively as Charles becomes pliant in his arms.
Charles is completely focused on Erik’s mind, his lips, and his one hand that’s
running up his knee to where his stupid Raggedy Andy shorts stop. The other
hand is pulling off his wig and at his hair to bring their mouths closer still
and move Charles around to where Erik wants him.
“Ah, fuck!” Charles moans and drops his head down as Erik moves his lips to his
neck, nibbling on the exposed flesh lower down. Charles doesn’t swear often and
the word causes Erik’s hips to buck up, Charles’s head hits the roof of the
truck loud and painfully. The pain brings Charles back into himself and his own
thoughts.
He hurriedly climbs off Erik’s lap and extracts his arms from where they were
tangled under Erik’s shirt. Charles doesn’t remember shoving them under to
caress his muscled back, but now he’s aware of the longing to shove them back.
“Charles, are you okay?” Erik reaches to touch the top of Charles’s head, but
he ducks back and away. Erik’s lips are quivering and his whole body is shaking
with need. “I’m sorry?”
“We need to st-stop,” Charles tried hard to keep his own shivering under
control, but failed. It’s suddenly extremely cold inside the truck.
“Why? We’re old enough now, aren’t we?”
“I’m with Moira.” Charles blurts out quickly with his eyes shut, hands
clenching at his wig. “She’s my girlfriend now.”
“Excuse me?!” Erik’s voice is high pitched with disbelief. “Who the fuck is
Moira?” Erik demands to know, but Charles just shakes his head and look away.
“Why her? Why choose her?”
“It’s not like that. I’m not choosing her over anybody. You were never an
option.” Charles continues to speak quickly when Erik throws him a hurt look
and opens his mouth to say something. “You’re my best friend and she’s- she’s
nice and quiet. She doesn’t demand anything from me. She’s what I need now and
I need you to be my friend.”
Charles can’t see the hurt look on Erik’s face, but can feel it in his thoughts
and the way his body slumps against the other window. They sit in silence for a
few minutes with Erik facing away and Charles trying not to read his thoughts,
to give him privacy. Finally Erik speaks, “Go away, Charles.”
“What?” Charles feels panicked, this wasn’t how he imagined this scenario
happening. “I don’t want to lose you as my friend.”
“You won’t, but I need you to go away.” Tears are evident in Erik’s voice as he
speaks and Charles really has no choice. Charles opens the door, but before he
leaves he takes the keys from the glove box explaining that Erik’s still drunk
and he cares too much to let him drive home.

Instead of joining the party downstairs, Charles takes Moira and Hank to watch
movies in Sean’s room. It isn’t until almost midnight that the party dies down
and Moira feels comfortable enough to slip her hand into Charles’s own as they
walk down the stairs.
Charles doesn’t see Erik sitting on the front porch along with Angel and Raven
until they’ve already opened the loud screen door causing everybody stare up at
them. Moira’s hand holds firmly onto Charles. Raven quickly looks away while
Angel puts her arm around Erik’s back, his fin bent and hanging limply off.
Erik simply stares at them as they walk down to Charles’s car. Charles feels
like he’s on trial for a crime he never committed. He wants to shout, “I’m
doing this for us!” at Erik’s face. He wants to shake Erik into understanding,
but instead he just drives away. He tries not to look back, but fails.
It isn’t until he’s heading home after dropping Moira off that he realizes he
left Erik at Sean’s house with no ride home. Raven had sent him a text message
saying Logan had kicked everybody out and Angel was going to stay over, but
said nothing about Erik’s whereabouts. He knows Erik can fend for himself, but
he has to know he’s okay after what happened. Charles doesn’t want somebody
taking advantage of Erik and his drunken state. “Like I did,”he thinks
bitterly.
Charles arrives just in time to see Sean scrubbing eggs from the front porch
and screen door. Erik’s truck hasn’t moved from where it’s parked.
“Where’s Erik?” Charles asks as he bounds up to the porch, feeling like the
worst friend in the world. First he breaks his friend’s heart and then he takes
his keys, stranding him with no ride.
“Left with some guy named JP.” Sean makes a lewd gesture with his fingers and
tongue. Charles feels sick to his stomach. 
***** Chapter 8 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes


Erik wakes up late the next morning with his head splitting and his mouth
tasting like somebody had thrown up in it for him. His limbs are in better
shape since he passed out on the couch with his arm behind his back and his
legs over the backrest. When he finally makes it into the bathroom to vomit
everything still remaining inside his stomach and looks up in the mirror he is
shocked to see the hickey resting low on his neck.

Erik forgot all about the boy he met after Charles left with Moira. Watching
Charles walk away left Erik feeling like any minute he’d burst into a million
pieces, inflicting pain on all those close to him. He wanted to rage against
Charles, but instead as he walked away from the worried Raven and the pissed
off Angel, he was cornered by a mysterious boy with brilliant blue eyes and
floppy dark hair.

Erik could tell by the way Jean-Paul watched his mouth as he told him to,
“Fuck. Off” and the way Jean-Paul kept trying to touch his arm, his shoulder,
or his back that he wanted him. Erik never had somebody flirt with him or make
him feel wanted before. It excited him, made him feel alive and in control. He
felt powerful.

As Erik plunged his tongue into JP, turning him pliant and yet hard in all the
right places, he forgot that those blue eyes didn’t belong to the one person
who made him feel weak. He could pretend this boy was the one he wanted to
impress and that he was impressed by Erik’s talented tongue as he became
bolder. He could close his eyes and picture Charles boneless and wanting more
instead of pulling away and saying they were never an option. Erik craves that
power again and wants to flaunt it in front of Charles. He wants to show
Charles that people find him appealing and attractive.

Erik remembers them walking away from Sean’s house with his arm around JP’s
shoulder, but the rest of the night is a mystery. Or it is until he ducks his
head into the kitchen to see JP sitting at his table drinking orange juice. He
can hear his phone vibrating in his jean pocket from the floor of the living
room.

“What are you doing?” Erik quickly asks, looking outside to make sure Nina
hadn’t returned home just yet.

“Waiting for you to come back to life!” JP is all smiles and shirtlessness.
“You were dead to the world when I woke up an hour ago.”

“You need to leave.” Erik traces the trail of scattered clothing from the front
door to his bedroom, picking them all up quickly. “My aunt is coming home and
you can’t be here.”

“Still in the closet?” JP’s eyes are so fucking blue Erik wants to demand they
stop. He isn’t allowed to have eyes that color or for them to look so
understanding.

“It doesn’t matter to you, does it?” Erik snaps back, suddenly feeling very
upset and anxious. He throws the waded up pile of clothing at JP who spills his
juice on the floor.

“I’d like it to. I’ve watched you at school and you seem like you have a good
heart,” JP’s voice is all soft as he pulls on his clothing. He has a slight
French Canadian accent which is all  wrong .

“Why? Still mooning over that other boy. Chuck?”

“Charles.” Erik snaps out, correcting him. “You need to leave now.”

“Can’t you give me a try? We seemed to work out quite well last night.” JP
draws near to run his fingers across the hickey he left. “I could give you so
much more.”

“You were never an option,” Erik’s voice is cold and his expression tells JP
that the discussion has ended. He quickly finishes getting dressed and rushes
past Erik with a huff before slamming the front door, knocking the Halloween
wreath from its hook.
Erik isn’t expecting Nina to immediately tell something is wrong with Erik when
she gets home later that morning. She takes one look at him slouched on the
couch doing his homework on a Saturday before putting on her apron and whipping
up his favorite pumpkin waffles.

He also doesn’t expect Charles to show up when he’s in the middle of devouring
his second stack and sitting next to him at the table like nothing happened.

“Charles, would you please get him out of whatever funk he’s in now? I was
hoping he’d be done with puberty by now,” Nina asks while she makes more
waffles for Charles. She’s wearing a Thanksgiving inspired dress she made
(printed with little Turkeys) and a small string of pearls. Erik knows she has
more expensive pieces of jewelry given to her by Shaw, but she never takes it
out of the safe-like jewelry box and only wears them whenever Shaw makes a fuss
to see her decked out in diamonds. “He is acting like I did when I found out
I’d never get to marry Elton John.”

“Why would you want to marry Elton John?” Charles asks instead of ganging up on
Erik.

“Don’t ask such stupid questions, Charles!” Nina bats him on the head with a
waffle that fell on the ground. “It’s a little bit funny this feeling inside,”
Nina sings as she walks out of the kitchen in search of her record player.

“Do you want me to go away?” Charles’s voice is quiet and he’s staring hard at
his untouched waffles. Erik stuffs a huge forkful into his mouth so keep from
having to answer right away. Eventually he shakes his head no, mouth still
chewing. “You aren’t mad at me?” He sounds amazed and his voice cracks a bit.
Erik only rolls his eyes.

Erik feels foolish and stupid, but he isn’t angry anymore. That anger seemed to
diminish as soon as he saw Charles with his hair sleepily ruffled and clothes
disheveled like he just ran out of bed to see Erik. His shoes aren’t even
matching.

Charles heaves a deep sigh of relief at the roll of Erik’s eyes. He thinks if
Erik had said no, and that he didn’t want to be his friend anymore, then
Charles would have given up. He’d give in and allow Erik to kiss him like he
did last night. He’d allow himself to turn into Sharon (who is currently
painting all the rooms on her floor black) all because he wouldn’t want to
carry on if Erik wasn’t his friend, if Erik hated him. He couldn’t bare it. He
wouldn’t want to become great if Erik wasn’t there to look at him and see what
he’s accomplished with a smile on his face. Charles hates how weak that sounds,
but he’s never claimed to be a strong person.

“I’m surprised you had to even ask me that question,” Erik finally speaks,
taking a sip of his coffee to wash down his waffles. “Couldn’t you just,” he
wiggles his fingers at his head. “Poke around?”

“I didn’t want to assume- I mean, Raven hates it when I read her thoughts
without permission. I’m currently banned from doing so, because I spied a
rather disturbing daydream about her and Coach Fury,” Charles confesses
sheepishly, loving how easy it is to talk to Erik after all that’s happened. He
pokes at his waffles, moving them around with his fork and using the whipped
topping to draw a face.

“Don’t play with your food,” Erik reprimands absentmindedly batting his arm.
“You don’t even need to ask for my permission, Charles. I have nothing to hide
from you.” He’s turned towards Charles to look him in the eye, making sure he
understands. “Do it,” Erik says wanting to see Charles’s reaction from what
happened between him and JP last night.

“You’re probably thinking about a naked Coach Fury,” Charles huffs out a laugh,
drawing Erik’s attention to his mouth. He continues to stare as Charles licks
his lips on impulse. “I’d rather pop in later to catch you off guard and see
how  you  feel about Elton John.”

“I’d like to think my tastes are more,” Erik trails off distracted by Charles
who decided it was a good idea to lick the whipped topping off his fork.

“Big breasted women?” Charles laughs at the thought of Erik drooling over
Pamela Anderson.

“Hardly.”
 

School is drastically different now that Charles has openly claimed Moira as
his girlfriend. He misses the heavy weight of Erik’s arm around his shoulder
that is now completely absent since Charles has taken to holding hands with
Moira to and from classes. Erik often disappears with classmates that Charles
has never paid any attention to and had no idea Erik was friends with them.
Strangely enough after leaving their group at lunch with a classmate Charles
will often not see them again after that day.

“Who are all these friends of yours, Erik?” Charles finally asked one day as
they walked home.

“I wouldn’t call them  friends .” Erik said with a smirk and made no move to
explain further.

Though they no longer hang around each other at school as often as they did
before, they still see each other in small amounts and those moments are
Charles’s favorite times of the day. Charles still studies on the bleachers as
Erik runs around on the field playing soccer or running for track. Erik has
obtained these rather hypnotizing veins that run down his lower stomach to
disappear under his track pants that call out for Charles to gaze upon whenever
he is without a shirt. They still wait around for each other to treck back home
together, sometimes accompanied by Raven when she isn’t going over to Angel’s
house.

Charles still finds himself wanting to be around Erik even though there seems
to be some cloud of awkwardness hanging around them still. Sometimes Erik will
get quiet without any warning and Charles doesn’t know how to react, because
Erik has never done that before without a reason. Charles is still resisting
reading his mind. He’s afraid of what he’ll find.

Erik has received his acceptance letter to Harvel University which is only
three hours away and was his first choice. Charles has already received his
letter in the mail a few days prior along with all the other letters accepting
him into their schools. Moira had been trying to get him to attend college in
California, but that isn’t a distance Charles is ready to put between himself
and Erik as well as Raven being stuck at home alone.

Charles took one look at the dorm rooms online and immediately knew he would
have to live off campus and Erik inserted himself into that plan. Against both
boys’ better judgment they have decided to live together in an apartment during
their university years. Erik plans on using that time to show Charles how he
can’t live without Erik by his side while Charles plans on cherishing those
years in case they don’t make it through their education together.

They take one weekend to drive around their college town to check out
apartments they saw online. They spend the drive fighting over the radio
station, Erik wanting to listen to AC/DC while Charles would rather listen to
the news.

“The news wants us to fear each other and you know what they say about fear, my
friend.” Erik has to yell over You Shook Me All Night Long while trying to keep
Charles’s hands away from the volume control.

“What do they say?” Charles knows Erik is about to launch into one of his rants
about the news trying to turn the public against each other to keep them tuning
in and finding out what their rapist, racist, murderous, puppy killing
neighbors are up to (Erik’s words not his).

“That fear will turn into hatred,” Erik can practically hear Charles rolling
his eyes, but continues on with his raving, knowing that it will keep Charles
from turning the station which will only add fuel to Erik’s fire.



They feel like Goldilocks as they look at apartment after apartment. One will
be too small; one will be too large and though Charles finds no faults with the
too large ones Erik tells him it’s too expensive. Some are too far away from
campus and others are crawling with students. They finally settle on a three
bedroom apartment and though the bedrooms are a bit small, the living room and
kitchen are large and they’ll most likely spend all their time in those two
rooms. They take an application to send in after high school ends since they
only accept applications months in advance and set off back home.

Charles decides that night he’ll start on breaking down the awkwardness between
them with some good old fashioned comic book reading and chess playing, but as
they pull into large driveway Moira steps forth from under a tree. Erik
immediately stiffens beside him.

“She probably just wants to borrow my study guide for her last final,” Charles
tries to placate his friend before he bolts back to his house. “This won’t take
long.” He smiles reassuringly and gets out the car.

“I thought you’d be home by now,” Moira is holding a rather large picnic
basket. “I planned a little picnic for us.” Charles can hear Erik slam his
door.

“See you later, dear.” Erik walks past them to head home. Charles wants to kick
himself for not checking his phone and seeing all the voicemails Moira left him
in her small voice. He could have told her tonight wasn’t a good night, but he
was too wrapped up in Erik all day.


The picnic Moira plans isn’t an outdoor picnic, but an indoor one, on Charles’s
bed. Charles finds this extremely awkward especially as they try to balance the
bottle of cider as Moira fidgets taking off her shoes and then working on
Charles’s own.

“I can do it,” Charles says as he makes to take them off himself. He isn’t used
to Moira being physical with him. She is usually content to just hold hands and
after months of dating they still haven’t kissed.

“I want to make this good for you,” Moira’s voice trembles as she starts
unbuttoning her cardigan.

“What?” Charles is yet again confused by her behavior. “Are you hot, Moira?”

“I thought since we’ll soon be on opposite sides of the country that,” she
trails off looking away with blush staining her cheeks. “I want you to be my
first.”

“First what?” Charles’s face feels hot and his hands are sweaty.

“Charles, you know what.” Moira still isn’t looking at him as she strips down
to just her tank top, cardigan falling to the carpeted floor.

“I thought you wanted to wait until marriage,” Charles tries to come up with
reasons why her boyfriend would object when any other guy would be jumping at
the chance.

“I don’t believe in marriage.” She leans forward over the picnic splayed out on
his comforter to try and kiss him, but ends up spilling the cider all over his
pants and bed.

“Shit!” Charles jumps off and away from the bed.

“Just take them off,” Moira suggests shyly. Charles suddenly wonders if she had
planned the cider to spill all along. His mind is jumping around looking for
ways out, but settles on  “Do it.”

Charles skims Moira’s mind to find her actually quietly eager and nervous.
Mostly eager which shocks him more than anything. Losing his virginity should
be a good thing any normal guy of his age would love to have happen. Charles is
sure this has already happened to most boys of eighteen, but that doesn’t get
rid of the sick feeling in his stomach. His mind recoils from Moira’s thoughts
and instantly seek out the thoughts he feels most comfortable in, Erik’s.

At first Charles thinks Erik is running because of his rapid breathing and
jumbled chaos of thoughts. He’s in the park down the street, surrounded by
trees and birdsong. Charles notices he’s off the walking trail and is pressed
up against scratchy bark with somebody else’s hands pushing him back, he sees
through Erik’s eyes as he looks down and locks eyes with bright blue eyes
belong to a guy on his knees sucking him off. Charles pulls his mind away so
fast he falls back against the dresser, clutching his head.

“Are you okay?” Moira gets up from the bed and hurries to his side. Charles
could tell the truth, but he’s always been a bit of a liar.

“Yes, I’m fine.” He feels like his heart has been ripped out. He feels childish
and wants revenge. “Okay, alright.” Charles looks up and kisses her quickly on
the side of the mouth. “Fine, good. Yes. Okay.” Moira looks at him confusedly
before he kisses her again, this time on the lips.

Charles manages to each them both undressed and the bed clear of food and
spilled cider. He finds himself hovering over Moira, weight rested on his knees
between her own. He has no clue what to do from here.

“What do we do now?” Charles asks looking down at her small breasts with no
real affection for them.

“Well, you know. Put  it  in?” Moira gestures down to his flaccid penis.
“Though it’s supposed to look different than that.” Charles looks up at her in
shock. “I’ve seen it in books.”

Charles knows he should be hard, but there’s nothing arousing for him happening
right now. “Here,” Moira whispers as she wraps her hand around his penis
gently. She’s too gentle and her hands are too soft and small. Charles knows
something is seriously wrong with him.

“Moira, stop.” He stills her hand in his own. “This isn’t going to work.”

“I feel silly,” Moira falls back on the bed, biting her lip. Charles shushes
her as he lies down on his side next to her.

“It’s my fault.”

“I shouldn’t have rushed you,” her voice cracks and tears are welling up in her
eyes. “Sex should happen naturally. I’m sorry.” They don’t speak after that.
Charles just covers them both up with his blankets and they stay like that,
unmoving and silent until night falls. Moira has to be home before too long and
Charles is left with his own thoughts and shortcomings. He expects he was never
supposed to be with women and he can’t say he’s disappointed. Charles can’t
picture himself with anybody let alone a woman, well perhaps with somebody but
that isn’t an option anymore.
It’s the last Friday before school ends the following Wednesday so the group
decides to have one final pizza party for old time’s sake. Erik, Charles, and
Hank are all going off to college while the rest have either one more year or
several like Raven and Angel. Erik shows up late with his clothing disheveled,
but Charles pretends it’s from quickly dressing after his workout and not
because some stranger’s groping hands.

They are all gathered around Sean’s living room when he throws out a shocking
claim that Charles grabbed his ass when he almost tripped a few moments
earlier.

“You molested my bottom, Charles!” Sean’s squeaky voice seems to be forever
changing. Charles covers his heart with his hand in pretend shock.

“I would never molest you!” Charles pretends to think for a moment before
adding, “Gently fondle maybe, but never molest. Unless you asked nicely.” He
smirks over at Hank who is in the middle of choking on his drink, Raven patting
his back gently.

“Why is your voice like that? Stop trying to Jedi mind trick me!” Sean throws
popcorn at Charles in self defense.

“This isn’t my Jedi mind trick voice, this is my soothing voice. Are you
soothed, Sean?” His voice is eerily calm and Erik chuckles next to him.

“Go molest Erik instead!” Alex pipes up to defend his friend’s honor.

The smile slips from Charles’s face easily without anybody noticing except
Erik. “Erik is my best friend.” He says this as if this would end the
conversation and their line of thought.

“And he’d be more receptive to your advances since he seemed pretty molested
last night by that dark haired fella!” Raven chimes in helpfully as Erik shoots
her dangers, sinking down further into the floor.

“What dark haired guy?” Charles’s voice is suddenly serious. “Who was molesting
you, Erik?”

“Oh you mean he was allowed to do something without consulting you first?”
Raven’s voice isn’t joking either and sounds a bit bitter.

“Raven, stop it.” All the laughter and smiles are completely gone from everyone
in the room. Raven stares down at Hank’s knee in shame. This wasn’t the time or
place for her to get upset with her foster cousin. She smiles brightly trying
to bring back the fun atmosphere from moments before.

“I think he even wiped his ass this morning without telling you! Mister you’re
in trouble.” She grabbed Erik’s nose playfully making him bat it away poking
himself in the eye and causing Alex to laugh loudly.

“Shit, Charles you’re right. He’s falling apart without you.” Sean pushes
Charles’s shoulder making him bump his friend.

Hours later and after saying goodbye and goodnight to Raven who goes off with
Angel, Charles still can’t get her comment out of his mind. Erik on the other
hand just wants to be alone with Charles. They are walking home slowly and
silently, Erik is calmed by their seemingly peaceful quietness, but Charles
wants to ask before they part ways for the night.

Finally Charles breaks the silence when they pause under a streetlight.

“So who is this mysterious dark haired guy Raven was talking about?” Erik
pauses to turn back and look at Charles, brow crinkled in confusion. He had
completely forgotten about the comment Raven had made earlier that night.

“Oh. Uh, nobody important.” He smiles thinking the subject has been dropped,
but Charles move to start walking again. “Something wrong?”

“It’s just, well. I. If you’re seeing somebody I’d like to be introduced. You
know Moira.” Charles wants to know who this guy he saw inside Erik’s mind was
and if he’ll be seeing more of him.

“Oh god, of course I know Moira.” Erik rolls his eyes and starts walking away
giving Charles no choice but to follow behind.

“What’s wrong with Moira?” Charles feels he needs to defend her and show Erik
that he can pick girlfriends correctly even if he can’t have sex with them.

“Don’t play stupid, Charles. I know she’s your girlfriend, but I don’t have to
like her.” Erik’s comment shuts Charles up and they walk in silence for a few
more minutes until Charles just has to ask more obnoxious questions.

“Are you being safe?”

“What?” Erik spins around to face Charles so fast they end up running into each
other. Charles having to take a step back and look away before explaining his
worry.

“Are you having safe sex?” His voice is so quiet Erik had to lean in to hear
the last two words.

“Yes.” Erik’s looking at him with something like shocked awe in his eyes. They
don’t move a muscle as they stand there in the middle of a darkened cracked
sidewalk, the sound of a few semis on the otherwise empty highway reminding
them of dinosaurs, no other movement around except for their pounding chests.
Erik’s breath is displacing the hair falling down on Charles’s forehead
slightly, his own breathing directed towards the taller boy’s neck.

“I hate sex,” Charles confesses quickly, feeling like he should be behind a
partition with Erik wearing clerical clothing. Erik shakes his head and huffs
out a laugh while turning around, breaking the spell.

“No you don’t. You just aren’t doing it right.” He leaves Charles standing
there dumbfounded before jogging to catch up.


Charles doesn’t mean to knock over the vase as he gets home late that night,
but Sharon moved it while he was out to block the door. She comes running into
the room, eyes wild, hair in disarray, and wearing the clothes she hasn’t
changed out of for a week.

“Where the hell were you?” Sharon yells out, advancing quickly upon her son. If
her words weren’t slurred and breath wreaking of alcohol he would have thought
she actually was worried. “I’m out of my drink and nobody went to the store
today!” Sharon pushes him roughly back against the door, a piece of curled
glass from the vase cuts into his ankle from stepping on it.

“They’ll go tomorrow.” He doesn’t try to force her back since that’ll only
cause her to become more violent and enraged.

“What am I supposed to drink until them, dammit!” She brings her hand back and
slaps him across the face hard, skin immediately red and stinging from her
rings. “What kind of boy have I raised?”

Charles pulls his face out of her grasp and backs out the door again, running
across the lawn, and ignoring her calls for him to come back. He doesn’t stop
running until he’s reached Erik’s window. The curtains aren’t drawn and he can
see Erik pulling off his shoes, getting ready for bed. Charles doesn’t even
bother knocking as he opens it from the outside, sending Erik into a fit of
hysterics.

“Jesus, Charles!” Erik had thrown his shoe with his abilities towards the
window, but missed Charles’s head. “What’s the matter with you? Don’t scare me
like that.”

Charles doesn’t reply or say anything, and slumps down on Erik’s bed. He wraps
his arms around his friend’s middle, letting his warmth fill him up and the
reassuring hands on his back take away the unsteady breathing. He allows Erik
to pull him closer and listens to his mumbled soothing German relax his tense
muscles and slow his frantic heart.

“Sometimes I hate her.” Charles’s voice is garbled by Erik’s shirt halfway into
his mouth. “And I feel awful for hating her.”

“I know,” Erik’s voice is quiet and calm. Neither of them lets go until the
morning light shines brightly into the small bedroom, waking them slowly.


It’s finally the last day of high school, Erik and Charles had decided to stick
it out until the very last day instead of skipping like most Seniors. Erik is
actually excited about going off to college and that’s mostly because he’ll be
living with Charles and Moira will be on the other side of the country. Erik
can be very childish and selfish when it comes to Charles.

The whole day is spent outside playing games and signing yearbooks. Charles is
mostly lounging around his tree reading while a few of his classmates stop over
for him to give out his standard yearbook writing of, “Good luck. Have fun,
Charles!” Moira has been spending all her time with her math club and crying
over leaving to California. Charles hates to say, but he’d rather have her cry
on her friend’s shoulder instead of his own.

“I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast! Charles, can you pop in and tell
me?” Erik asks rather loudly as he jumps down next to him, head automatically
resting on Charles’s shoulder. They spend the rest of the school day playing
chess in the sun with Hank making comments about Erik’s lack of strategy and
Charles’s sending his pawns off to an early death. Erik only leaves Charles’s
side when it’s close to the bell ringing and Moira had finally extracted
herself from her club to lean on Charles and sniffle wetly. When Erik shows
back up when they’re about to walk home he smells odd and there’s strange red
marks around his neck and jaw. Charles refrains from dipping inside his mind.


Graduation comes and Charles has the audacity to be cheeky when first seeing
Erik in his gown. “You’ve never looked more beautiful, darling.” He says with a
snicker before Nina engulfs him in hugs and kisses, leaving sticky red lipstick
all over his face with Shaw behind her trying to pry her off. He keeps
wandering off to chat it up with other parents and pretending he doesn’t know
the blubbering woman who keeps throwing herself at Charles and Erik.

“My boys are so grownup!” Nina sobs after the ceremony is over and her arms are
flung around both boys, who are quickly becoming men. “If only my sister was
here to see how handsome you’ve become, Erik and to see how smart your friend
is and how loving and kind and amazing and,” she starts to ramble and they tune
her out once she unleashes her deathlike grip on their necks and Shaw herds her
into his waiting limo. Erik worked his last weekend at Shaw’s grocery the
Saturday before and he’s actually surprised at how much he’ll miss his co-
workers. It’s been one of the many stable things in his life.

Moira plans on leaving for California the day after Graduation, and leaving the
state to visit relatives after the ceremony so Charles finds himself being held
on tightly as she sobs into his shoulder. Charles had grown rather fond of
Moira when she wasn’t trying to have sex with him. She was sweet and always had
a strong opinion about something. She stood up for what she believed in and
Charles liked that about her. He found himself actually glad knowing she’d call
to let him know about her classes and looked forward to seeing her develop into
a strong opinionated woman even though their romantic relationship would
probably not survive long. He sees Erik in the distance going off to the
bathroom being followed eagerly by a dark haired senior.



“You’ll call if anything happens, right?” Charles is having a difficult time
leaving Raven alone in the house, but she keeps reminding him that she has
Raven, Alex, Sean, and this new boy named Armando to keep her safe and
entertained. His car is quickly filling with his personal items and soon he’ll
be off to his new apartment with Erik.

“I’ll be going to college in a few years, myself!” Raven smiles reassuringly at
Charles, trying to keep the tears at bay. She’ll really miss her stupid,
oafish, brilliant cousin. “You make sure Erik stays out of trouble and don’t
get any girls pregnant.”

“Oh Erik will probably need to do all the worrying about getting women
pregnant. I’ll never disappoint you when it comes to that.” Charles throws
another box of books inside the trunk of his car, ignoring the stab of jealousy
at Erik’s ease with his sexuality. He often parades around shirtless after his
runs as if showing off his love bites to the world.

“Erik? Getting women pregnant? You did not just say that.” She shakes her head
sadly, hands coming up to rub at her eyes. “You two are such idiots. You can
read minds, Charles. If only you could understand them.”

“I often wish that for that ability.” He turns around to hug her once more, not
wanting to let go. “Can’t I take you with me?” Her laugh turns into sniffling
as she loses her battle with tears. Their embrace is soon interrupted by the
crunch of Erik’s tires as he pulls his truck into the driveway.

“Ready for this?” Erik yells over the sound of his engine.

“Let’s find out!”
Chapter End Notes
     Does anybody recognize Jean-Paul aka JP? This fic is almost over
     folks. ;~; (but don't worry I'll be writing little one-shots for this
     verse FOREVER~)
***** Chapter 9 *****
Every day for the next three years, whenever Erik or Charles leaves their
apartment they encounter the sign Nina had painted herself reminding them why
they always come back. It’s a cheesy saying of “Home Is Where the Heart Is,”
with tiny figures of Charles and Erik on either side and rattles whenever the
door is slammed in haste. The sign was the first item to enter the house and
the last thing they see before leaving. Erik treasures it the most, even more
than their beyond comfortable couch or stove that he’s allowed to use. Once in
Freshmen year, Charles was in such a hurry to get to class he slammed the door
shut roughly causing the corner to crack off. Erik forced him to the hardware
store when he came back exhausted to buy wood glue and fixed it immediately or
Erik swore he would badger Charles to death.
Charles sometimes worries he’s become too comfortable living with Erik for the
past couple years and how easily it was to forget all his problems at home. He
misses being at home when he’s sitting in class surrounded by strange thoughts
in odd voices banging against his skull. He’d rather listen to Erik’s voice
talking softly in his head all day and night or Erik’s louder thoughts whenever
he’s upset or excited.
Erik and Charles have settled into living together nicely with their own
comfortable routine within the first few days of moving in. Erik is almost used
to seeing Charles walking around in his too big pajamas that hang off his
frame, almost calling for Erik to just pull off and kiss and bite and caress
every inch of his pale skin. Charles in return has figured out how to school
his expression into a neutral calmness whenever Erik comes back from his
workout shirtless and sweaty, followed by strutting around in a towel still wet
from the shower with his is hair hand brushed back off his forehead.
The routine for their Freshmen year starts on Saturday mornings (it was Erik’s
horrible idea to have class on Saturday morning) when Charles barges into
Erik’s room to wake him up. After missing his first class since even his loud
alarm clock couldn't wake the slumbering student, Charles had begun to
physically pull Erik by the ankle out of his twin bed and onto the floor.
Thankfully the coffee is already brewing and toast ready to be inhaled to
soften the blow of an early class. Erik doesn’t understand how Charles is
always up and ready for the day at ungodly hours even with no class that day.
Thankfully Erik learns from his mistakes and next year all his classes are
during the week and aren’t at the crack of dawn.
They grocery shop together in the middle of the week which is a first for
Charles who was raised with food magically appearing in the cabinets thanks to
his cook. The first trip is spent with Charles filled with giddy excitement at
pushing the shop cart all by himself while throwing in anything that might look
good even if they don’t need it.
“This looks good it has a cute little cow on it! Look Erik, there’s a little
cow on the package.”
Eventually Erik decides to play with him by using his abilities to ram the
metal cart into shelves, causing all the employees and other customers to
grimace at Charles as he runs after it before the display of Campbell soups go
crashing to the floor.
Most week nights are spent with the two of them making dinner together,
settling at their small table over burnt bread and crunchy pasta. Neither of
them is familiar with a stove and their apartment didn’t come with a microwave
so it takes both Charles and Erik to create something edible. They don’t
complain since they always have a laugh throwing spaghetti at the ceiling and
trying to get the strand to fall on the other’s head. Charles has completely
banned anything remotely spicy from their apartment after an incident they both
agreed to never speak about again.
Movie night is Thursday where they gather around the coffee table, which is
usually stacked with homework and coffee cups (empty and full). They chat and
watch movies as they work their way through their piles of assignments until
early the next morning when Charles is always the first to fall asleep, slumped
against Erik’s shoulder.
Friday nights is when Moira calls Charles and they talk on the phone for hours.
It seems the distance between them have caused them to grow closer as friends
instead of having that awkward physical contact that causes Charles to clam up.
Erik always goes out on those nights. He spends them with some stranger that
flushes so prettily, ramming themselves down on his cock, with thoughts of
Charles dancing in his head. When he comes home smelling like sex and strange
cologne Charles never fails to be splayed out on the couch waiting for him to
return with the chess board set up. They never talk about where Erik goes and
why.
One late night Charles can’t sleep knowing Erik isn’t home yet so he decides to
try and make himself so tea only to find no milk.
“Erik, we’re out of milk.”He gets an interesting thought in his head that he
hasn’t tried to do since they were kids and decides it would be a good idea to
see how far he can broadcast his thoughts to wherever Erik happens to be.
Charles brings a hand up to his temple and concentrates to open the mental
connection to Erik’s unique mind that is usually simple when they’re in the
same room. It takes a few moments to wade through all the other minds trying to
get his attention before he locks on and feels the familiar murmur of Erik’s
voice.
“Ah, fuck! Oh god yes.” Erik’s thoughts are frantic and slick with a frenzied
pleasure, gushing in waves through Charles’s own mind causing him to fall back
against the island in their kitchen.
“Erik?”Charles gasps out as he feels himself grow harder and harder listening
to Erik’s orgasm rapidly build as he suddenly feels Charles’s presence inside
his head.
“Ch-Arles, get out of my mind!” Erik half groans and half gasps out. Charles is
surprised when he throws up a wall, pushing him out of his mind right when an
image of himself naked and sweating flashes through him, leaving him breathless
and slumped on the floor.
Charles doesn’t wait in the living room for Erik to get home that night. He
sits on his bed with his door closed as he listens to Erik in the shower, an
uneasy feeling coiled in his gut. When he wakes up in the morning there’s a
gallon of milk in the refrigerator and a note attached telling Charles to just
text him next time.
The holidays are usually the times when they feel the closest to each other.
They either travel to visit Nina and Raven (Shaw is usually there in the
background) or decorate their house and spend hours upon hours cleaning for
company. Erik likes to pretend Charles is his as they clean the dishes together
or as he listens to all the worries Charles has about impressing Nina. He
wishes he could shush all his fears away with a kiss, but settles for a squeeze
of the shoulder while tapping their foreheads together.
Their very first Hanukkah and Christmas together are spent at their apartment.
Charles watches Erik light the menorah, his voice roughly saying the blessing
as Charles quietly listens. They exchange tiny yet meaningful gifts afterwards
each night and Erik tries his best to recreate latkes that Charles proclaims to
be the best thing he’s ever eaten. Christmas arrives with Raven sleeping in
Charles’s bed while he sleeps on the couch, Erik on the floor (he insisted to
keep Charles company even though the floor was uncomfortable and cold).
Nina and Shaw arrive later that day to find Erik dressed up as Santa, Raven
wearing the stolen white beard, and Charles wearing a Mrs. Clause apron trying
to bake cookies. Charles feels sick thinking about winters in the future
without Erik by his side, taste testing his cookies, making sure Charles’s
scarf is wrapped tight, and always carrying an extra pair of gloves since
Charles constantly forgets his own. He’s rather be driving around alone with
Erik looking at the Christmas lights than at some fancy social event his
parents used to get invited to, chattering about his father’s many
accomplishments.
                                Sophomore Year

Things between Erik and Charles start to get rocky one Thursday during their
second year of college. It was once again Charles’s turn to pick out a film for
their weekly movie night so he was out browsing the comedy section at the movie
rental. His phone starts vibrating in his pocket causing him to jump and shake
a little shocked dance due to the phone and its closeness to his groin before
pulling it out and seeing a text from Erik.
“Be home really late. Can’t tonite.” Charles frowns down at the phone,
displeased. He had his heart set on watching Erik laugh so hard he cried which
one of his favorite sights since nobody else has seen him in such a state. It’s
almost a secret between them that Erik can actually laugh until tears fell and
his face hurt.
“Cant wat? Evrytin k?” Charles isn’t adept at texting with only one hand while
holding onto a number of DVDs in the other. He’s rented the movies along with
buying a few sugary snacks before his phone vibrates again.
“Have plans. Mail on counter.” Charles is close to just calling Erik or trying
to hone onto his mind and getting the real reason, but he’s still nursing a
migraine from class and he’s promised Erik to never do that again without
permission first. Neither of them have missed a movie night since they became a
ritual and he gets worried wondering what’s really wrong with Erik.
Erik is long gone by the time Charles gets home and he sees a huge box from
Moira with cutesy stickers and hearts all over the cardboard. The box contains
little gifts and items she’s collected around California. Sand in a little
vial, candies from her favorite sweetshop, and a copy of the short story she
wrote featuring a blue eyed boy facing a harsh family life that makes Charles
wonder how much Moira really knew about his mother.
Erik can’t stand any reminders of Charles preferring somebody else so when the
mail lady dropped off the box he had to leave before Charles got the chance to
riffle through and share his gifts with Erik. He couldn’t sit there another
night of feeling so close to Charles and then realizing as they parted ways for
the night how much distance really separates them. Erik doesn’t want there to
be anything keeping them apart including significant others, bedrooms, or
clothing. He does the only thing he can whenever those thoughts get too much
for him and finds a random stranger to work his pent up desires out on.
Afterwards he only feels guilt and shame.
“Where have you been?” Charles asks when Erik finally comes home at two in the
morning, clothes messed and hair displaced. He doesn’t mean for it to come off
sounding jealous and upset, but he is a little of both.
“Why don’t you read my mind and find out?” Erik is oozing discomfort and
disgust at himself; he’s filled with shame and hurt feelings. Charles doesn’t
dive inside his mind any further than reading the surface thoughts. He follows
Erik throughout the apartment as he takes off his jacket and washes his face in
the kitchen sink.
“Sex? That’s what this was all about?” Charles laugh sounds brittle and fake to
his own ears. “Oh mighty Erik, your sex is like the angry fist of a god!” He
pokes fun trying to get Erik to lighten up his mood.
“At least that’s what the fellas say,” Erik grumbles back half-heartedly,
gurgling water to get the horrid taste out of his mouth. He hadn’t meant for
Charles to see him like this and feels oddly like he’s committed adultery.
“What?” Charles looks at him strangely as he realizing something important
about his closest and dearest friend. “You’re gay?” He sounds shocked which
shocks Erik. Erik had thought the two times Charles had popped into his head
while he was in a rather intimate moment was enough so the moment of coming out
wouldn’t be necessary.
“And?” Erik shrugs his shoulder getting upset that Charles hadn’t even noticed
his sexuality after all these years. Erik didn’t flaunt his sex life, but he
was always going off with guys and even had his tongue down Charles’s throat at
one point. “Too wrapped up in your own self to notice my love for cock?” Erik
sends his thoughts over to Charles, something that doesn’t happen so often
anymore.
“I thought you wanted a family!” Charles yells out like an accusation making
Erik wince. “Remember? You were going to name them after your parents.” He’s
crowding Erik at the sink making him feel trapped.
“You are my family, Charles. You, Nina, and Raven,” Erik says softly with his
eyes darting away and shoulders slumped. His anger has left him feeling
defeated.
“You don’t find women attractive at all?” Charles had always visualized Erik
getting married to some woman who adored him and her having child after dark
haired child. He can’t even process Erik having a boyfriend and settling down
with a man, the image leaving a sour taste in his mouth.
Charles thought and had hoped it was simply (or not so simply) high school
hormones when he saw Erik with that stranger in the park. Erik’s only reply to
his question was a small shrug before leaving the kitchen and shutting his
bedroom door softly, leaving Charles confused and upset, the apartment feeling
unusually quiet. Erik wasn’t following the plan Charles had envisioned for him.

The next day when Moira calls Charles doesn’t start the conversation with a
greeting, but with immediately going straight into what happened the previous
night with Erik. He had trouble that night going to sleep with thoughts of Erik
going on dates with men and kissing them and then things got awkward when he
felt himself getting hard. Of course Charles doesn’t tell all the details to
Moira.
“I just want him to have a family of his own and be happy. I don’t want him to
be alone, but I don’t want him having a relationship with a man either.”
Charles knows he’s ranting and sounding confusing, but he has to explain his
feelings and doing that to Erik just doesn’t feel possible right now. He
wouldn’t understand and Charles doesn’t want anymore hurt feeling in their
apartment.
“Charles, gay men can have families too. My professor and his partner of
fifteen years adopted three kids!” Her voice sounds reassuring, but the words
aren’t helping calm Charles down. He doesn’t want Erik to adopt with some
random guy he meets on the street. Charles wants him to fall in love with
somebody that knows him inside and out. He feels jealous and confused and hates
himself for even asking Erik’s sexual orientation. “Erik is a strong person and
he’ll find happiness. It’s okay to be gay, Charles.” Moira laughs softly and
Charles’s jaw tenses.
He doesn’t know it at the time, but on the other end of the phone the wheels in
Moira’s mind starts turning and she starts remembering how protective and
territorial not only Erik was but Charles too. She remembers how proud Charles
looked whenever Erik threw his arm lazily about his shoulders or how Charles
could never really pry his eyes away from Erik on the soccer field. He never
actually seemed interested in the sport when Erik wasn’t playing.
“Charles?” Moira suddenly has a brilliant idea to find out what really is going
on in New York between her “boyfriend” and Erik. “Do you know the rules of
soccer?” She tries to sound nonchalant.
“Soccer? Moira, honestly? I can’t think straight let alone try and remember
what rules that stupid sport has. I never cared for it, myself.” He sighed
deeply as Moira almost groaned feeling stupid and blind. “Erik, though,” he
trails off as if remembering some fond moment in the past. “He was so fast with
that ball and fierce whenever on the field. It was like watching a dancer or an
artist.”
“Charles, who do you see yourself with in the future?” She suddenly asks
ripping the band-aid off and Charles from his daydreaming about the past.
“What? What is with all these changes in subject? Are you feeling alright?”
“Do you see yourself moving to California? There are some very lovely houses
out here Charles, enough room for you and Raven. She’d love the ocean.” Moira
softens her voice before adding, “Do you see yourself marrying me?”
“Moira,” Charles doesn’t know what to say without sounding selfish and hurting
her feelings.
“I’m not actually asking you to marry me, Charles.” Moira laughs, trying to
ease the tension. “But can you see yourself doing that?”
“I- I just don’t know.” Charles can’t imagine marrying anybody or moving away
from New York. He’s sure there is a lot of opportunity out there for him and
Raven would love surfing, but Erik isn’t there and it wouldn’t feel like home.
“That isn’t good enough for me, Charles.” Moira sighs heavily into the phone.
“I feel like a fool.”
“I do care for you Moira an awful lot, but I don’t see myself being tied down
before I’ve accomplished all the goals I’ve set for myself. I see a lot of
working like a crazed person and going bald from all these stupid finals!”
Charles feels frazzled from worrying about his relationship with Erik to
worrying about letting Moira down.
“I could wait, but I need to know if you’d want to eventually marry me.” Moira
waits for a reply from Charles who remains quiet. “I won’t demand an answer now
since I’m sure your schoolwork is frying your brain, but I need one before we
finish college.”
Charles agrees to give her question some thought and either let her go or make
a serious commitment before college ends. He feels sick at already knowing what
his answer is really going to be.
In the meantime the atmosphere in the apartment between Charles and Erik
becomes tense or at least on Charles’s side. When Charles isn’t buried in a
book at their school’s massive library he’s built up a fort in the living room,
head down even after Erik comes home unusually early. Charles tries his best to
completely wall off Erik’s mind and it feels like a stabbing pain whenever he’s
reminded of the absent thoughts he’s used to hearing in his head.
Erik throws his messenger bag filled with heavy texts and notebooks on the
coffee table, while falling down on the couch jostling Charles over. He looks
over at Erik’s wet hair from the rain and tries his hardest not to reach out
and brush it back. Lately whenever Erik is home at the same time Charles’s body
is hyperaware of Erik’s the whole time, his skin itching to be touched by
Erik’s fingers. He refuses to give in, because he prides himself on his
restraint.
“Alright there, darling?” Erik asks him with a cheeky grin while taking out his
books to settle in to study. Charles’s reply sounds a lot like an angry cub
would make when poked so Erik bumps his shoulder with his own. Charles’s
adorable scowl only brightens Erik’s smile which causes Charles to collect his
schoolwork and leave the room, headed towards his bedroom. Erik had thought
school was creating the distance between him and Charles, but now he isn’t so
sure. He stops making an effort to spend alone time with Charles and feels like
a knife has jabbed him in the ribs when Charles doesn’t say anything.

Two months later and their sophomore year ends with lonely nights, no friendly
conversation, no giggling Charles, no movie nights, and no home cooked meals.
Erik is close to driving them both insane so he decides to take the weekend to
visit with Nina without telling Charles and when he enters his old home he
finds Shaw sitting on a new sofa in the living room. He goes home Sunday night
with plans to occupy Shaw and Nina to Germany next summer and visit his
childhood town. It will be the first summer Charles and Erik spends apart since
meeting. He hasn’t told Charles yet.
Erik spends most of his days talking to Nina and Raven instead of his own
roommate and alleged best friend. His phone calls with Raven usually start out
cheery with her asking about how many keg stands he’s done and the total number
of professors he’s blown to achieve better grades (“Too many,” is Erik’s usual
reply), but ends with them talking about Charles.
“How am I supposed to make him love me?” is the question Erik is constantly
asking her and himself at night. He wants their easy relationship back and
more, he wants so much more than Charles wants to give.
“He does love you; he just doesn’t want to love you.” Raven always sounds years
beyond her actual age which she accounts to being in a long distance
relationship as the cause.
“That’s worse.”

                                  Junior Year
Raven starts college in the spring with Angel who Charles has helped get an
apartment a few doors down from their own. Erik and Charles spend their whole
summer helping them move in and dancing around each other with silted
conversations and grunted greetings.
It’s around that time Erik turns twenty-one and instead of Raven’s insistence
at having a huge drunken party (“You wouldn’t be allowed to go!” Charles had
exclaimed as she told them her plans) he decides to have a nice and quiet
dinner at Nina’s house. The day starts out okay with Charles actually making
him breakfast that doesn’t consist of frozen waffles or pop-tarts and having
small talk around the table. It’s continues to go well for Erik, but Charles
isn’t so lucky.
His phone rings with the ID saying, “the mansion.” Charles doesn’t think
anything of it as it’s probably the groundskeeper asking for permission or the
cleaning service wanting instructions. Instead he hears the husky voice of his
mother who currently in a sober state.
“Darling, the house is so empty today.” Charles can hear glasses clinking on
granite and knows she is working on curing her sobriety. “You’ve left Mama all
alone in this big house.”
“I’ve been gone for going on three years now, Mother.” He was in the middle of
wrapping a beautifully crafted white gold watch for Erik which now lies
forgotten on his bedspread.
“That long? It feels like just yesterday,” she pauses to take a sip from her
crystal glass. “Why haven’t you visited?”
“I was there last week, but you were drunk.” He leans back against his
headboard, closing his eyes to keep the room from spinning. He’s had
conversations with his mother since starting college, but never when she was
sober or aware of what was going on around her. He tried hiring a nurse to keep
her company once a week, but Sharon had driven the woman out by throwing filled
glasses of alcohol at her.
“I drink, because I’m alone,” her voice is quiet and sad. However she quickly
cheers herself up with another gulp of brandy. “I’m going to die alone, you
know.” She says cheerfully causing Charles to cover his mouth instead of
allowing his mother to hear his shuddering breath.
“Don’t say that,” he tries to keep the pleading from his voice.
“I’ve known it since I married Kurt. The ones you love the most will always
leave you, Charles. We all die alone in the end.”
Charles doesn’t make it to the birthday dinner.
Raven drives the slightly inebriated Erik home late that night, still clutching
the half drunk wine bottle Shaw had insisted he wait a few years to open, given
to him as an expensive birthday gift. Shaw stared with his mouth hanging open
as the birthday boy downed half the thousand dollar bottle in one go, wine
spilling onto his chin and dress shirt.
He burped before declaring, “The bottle’s pretty.” Erik had just received the
message explaining Charles had plans and couldn’t be there that night. He had
hoped their relationship was starting to repair itself.
“Happy Birthday to me!” He sings loudly as he walks down the small hallway to
stand outside Charles’s door. “Char-les! Are you decent?” Erik goes to open his
door, but finds it locked. Charles doesn’t make a move to get up and unlock it,
he stays covered up in his bed with all the lights off pretending to sleep.
“Charles?” Erik’s voice is quieter now. “Charles. I’d never do that to you on
your own birthday.”
Charles shuts his eyes and keeps them shut, unwilling to let tears out as he
feels Erik’s presence still outside his door, silently praying for Charles to
open the door. He doesn’t and Erik goes to his own room to drink the rest of
the bottle.
Charles leaves the present outside Erik’s door with the note, “If you don't
have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over? - John Wooden.
I have a big test this morning and needed the study time. Hope you had a blast.
X Charles.”
He tries after that awful night to be friendly and open to Erik, but
withholding himself at the same time. Erik immediately notices what he’s doing
and yet plays along, enjoying the little part of Charles he’s now allowed to
have. Eventually time wears Erik down to the point where he’s tired of walking
on eggshells, of Charles never staying around him too long, and he misses
feeling him inside his head. Sometimes he lies in bed and concentrates on the
small sliver of metal around Charles’s neck just to feel him close again, to
feel him breathing gently, and pretend it’s his hand resting on his chest
instead of the necklace.
School work gets in the way of winning Charles’s friendship back though, and
before he knows it Charles is having his own birthday. Raven is actually
allowed to plan his party this time but only because Charles doesn’t know she’s
planning it. His birthday falls on a Tuesday and since none of their friends
can make it to the party on a weekday she stalls it until the Friday after,
leaving Erik to beg Raven to plan something private for the big day.
The summer is approaching and Erik can’t leave things between himself and
Charles like the way they are before he leaves for Germany. Erik has planned a
birthday dinner consisting all of Charles’s favorite foods, favorite movie, and
even purchased a candle of Charles’s favorite scent. The last item he hides in
his closet thinking Charles would imagine he’s trying to seduce him where he’s
only trying to show Charles he’s still the same old Erik and the fact that he’s
gay doesn’t change anything. If Erik fails then hopefully the distance between
them will help, but he can’t help the panic that surges his body whenever he
thinks of Charles pulling away from him. Raven thought it would be a good idea
to be absent during the dinner as a belated birthday present to Erik who never
got what he wanted which was his best friend being there on his special day.
Charles wakes up on his birthday by Raven jumping on his bed, throwing confetti
in his eyes. Erik’s standing in the doorway with his party blowout irritating
Charles’s headache.
“Happy Birthday, Charles!” Charles groans and pushes Raven off with a thump
before curling up on his side to get back to sleep.
However, the confetti keeps him from sleeping longer and eventually he makes
his way to the kitchen. Raven had hung up brightly colored balloons and an
obnoxious looking banner while Erik made confetti pancakes and spiked his tea
with rum.
“Oh god, Erik!” Charles coughs as he pats him roughly on the back.
“You’re a man now, Charles.” Erik laughs as he fetches him a bottle of water.
“I’ve a surprise for you if you don’t mind coming home after your last class?”
Erik asks while he has his back to Charles, keeping his nervousness hidden.
“It doesn’t involve more hidden alcohol or confetti to the eyes then I’ll be
here.”
“He won’t be jumping out of any cakes, either!” Raven added as she sprayed a
huge amount of whipped cream on top of the confetti pancakes. Charles smacked
her hand when she reached for chocolate sprinkles and dug in before she could
put anymore sugar on the poor soggy cakes.
“Pity, because everybody should see me naked,” Erik said as he licked syrup
from his fingers causing Charles to choke once more with a mouthful of food.
Charles tries to spend the rest of his day uninterrupted at the library, trying
to fit in as much studying as possible. However, Sean and Alex have their own
ideas and continue to text spam him all day, the phone vibrating loudly against
the shiny wood table.
Later that day while Erik is furiously cooking and trying not to burn down the
apartment, he is unaware that Charles is having his own panic attack outside
the library. It had been a lovely day so far except for the rude morning
confetti wake-up, but he enjoyed a nice birthday lunch at his favorite café
with Raven behaving herself. He went back to the library afterwards and was on
his way home with his phone rings once more, but this time it’s from Moira. It
conversation starts out harmless with birthday wishes and asking about his day
until the subject abruptly changes as he’s walking down the huge steps on his
way home.
“You’d love California, Charles. If you moved out here I could take you to this
restaurant which looks like a library and has named all their food after
literary characters and their drinks after authors,” Moira doesn’t mean to
cause alarm with her comment, but Charles stills his movement as he listens.
“Wouldn’t you rather move to New York again? I just can’t imagine leaving my
whole life here.” He wants to say specifically Erik, but saying his whole life
is close enough to explaining why he can’t leave. They haven’t been very close
lately, but he’s still part of his family and their lives will always be
entwined somehow. “I know you don’t like him, but I want Erik to be there for
every big moment in my life. I can’t picture them without him.”
“I need to tell you something, but I want to let you know how important you are
to me.” Moira sounds nervous and more quiet than usual. She’s been thinking
about Erik and Charles a lot lately and has finally made up her mind regardless
of how Charles would answer her big question. “I wasn’t planning on doing this
on her birthday, but I’ve met someone and I think we should breakup.” The words
come out in a rush leaving Charles stunned; this was not what he was expecting.
He was expecting Moira to always be there pulling him in one direction away
from Erik and having to fight against her, but now he feels strangely free and
terrified at the same time.
“His name is Steve and he’s really sweet, and honestly you could never love me
like I need you to.” She can hear Charles about to deny her claim, but she
interrupts before he can, “You already love Erik and I can’t get in between you
two any longer.”
“What?” Charles sits down on the stone steps heavily feeling exhausted and bone
weary. Students have to walk around him since his bag has fallen open with his
books scattered around him. He feels lightheaded and there’s a sinking feeling
deep down in his stomach.
“I want you to be happy,” Moira sounds like she’s crying quietly now and
Charles digs the phone into his ear.
“I can’t or I’ll end up like my mother,” he chokes out feeling the tears
wanting to fall and not allowing them to. “I can’t love him.” He drops the
phone not able to stand it any longer and it clattered nosily to the concrete,
snapping in half. Charles doesn’t know how long he sits there on the steps with
his face in his hands. He thinks about his mother at home probably drunk and
trying to destroy the house. He pictures himself in that empty mansion with
alcohol as he’s only company with Erik off somewhere with mysterious men
wearing strange cologne yelling at him to stay out of his head.
Charles then remembers a time when Kurt actually catered to his mother’s needs
and tried making her happy even though his heart wasn’t behind it right before
and right after they got married. He imagines having those short few months
with Erik and wonders if that would be enough for the rest of his life, if he
could carry on with only having such a short time with him. He’s honestly tired
of fighting what he wants for so long. He decides right then and there that
when love breaks him he’ll gladly jump into the fuzzy void of alcohol knowing
he at least tried. The bright side is he won’t be able to have any kids to pass
the genes along.
Charles heads straight for the local bar to kick off his destruction.
 
 
 
Erik is sitting at the kitchen table, cold food waiting in the oven with The
Ink Spots, “If I Didn’t Care,” playing in the background. The balloons from
earlier are dipping depressingly around the room, helium giving up. The frosted
birthday cake is covered on the kitchen counter with the candles lying on the
side untouched. Charles’s birthday present of Erik’s handmade The Thinker
statue wearing a cardigan is still wrapped on the kitchen table.
It’s almost ten o’clock and Erik feels stupid for getting his hopes up. He
thought they’d get this time to bond all over again and for Charles to realize
what he’s been missing. Instead Erik will be leaving for Germany soon and when
he gets back Charles will be that much further away from his grasp. He’s giving
serious thought to letting go of the one person he feels like he’s been born to
be with when the door bangs open roughly (Nina’s wooden sign falling down) and
Charles stumbles through clumsily.
“Did you have fun, my darling?” Erik is surprised at how calm his voice sounds
along with the way darling sounded like an insult. If Erik hadn’t felt betrayed
and hurt he would find Charles’s flushed face and messed hair to be adorable,
but it only aggravates him more, seeing something he can’t have.
“Talked with Moira and everything went downhill from there,” Charles words are
slurred and his eyes are glassy and bloodshot. He lets out a detached laugh as
he ambles towards where Erik is sitting at the kitchen table with his legs
crossed.
“Fucking Moira,” Erik snarls in his mind as Charles falls onto the chair
opposite him.
“No, indeed I’m not.” He shocks Erik by responding since it’s been such a long
time Charles has been inside his head. The warm nudge in his mind makes him
realize how much he’s missed it and craved for their shared connection. “She
wants me to move to California and marry her!” Charles exclaims as if it’s
funniest thing he’s heard while Erik’s whole body tenses up, the world seeming
to stop around him and his entire focus on Charles’s disheveled being. Erik
feels the urge to defend their own relationship, to give him reasons to stay.
He wants to put up a fight, kicking and screaming until Charles walks down that
aisle.
“Who is she, Charles?” His words are no longer calm, but fiercely spoken with
his tone even and anger evident in his eyes. “Honestly compared to us and what
we’ve been through together she is nothing. What does she give to you that I
can’t? Why am I so inadequate?” Erik can’t stop the angry tears from falling as
he stares into Charles’s unfocused eyes, panic making his heart race. Charles
shakes his head in reply, looking away at the carpet.
Erik abruptly stands up, not able to bear looking at Charles anymore as his
heart aches to grab him, knowing he’ll be rejected once again. He doesn’t look
back as he storms into his room trying to get away. Charles follows him
immediately, but stops at the rough sounds of Erik’s breathing.
“Erik, would you say we were like brothers?” There’s desperateness to Charles’s
voice now which is strangely sober sounding, their eyes meet as Erik whips
around. Erik thinks while Charles takes a step closer, as if his answer could
change everything.
“No, I’ve never wanted to be your brother.” Erik’s voice is firm, but not hard.
He feels like he’s finally pulling off a band-aid that’s been attached all his
life, it’s painful, and the wound isn’t healed yet.
“You said we were family!” Charles cries back, tears falling down. He covers
his face with his hands as his shoulder slump, looking how Erik feels inside,
dejected and tired.
Erik grabs Charles’s hand with his left while taking his teary chin in the
other hand, forcing their eyes to meet. “I want to be by your side always, but
not as your brother.”
“What do you want from me? What would you have me do? Stay and go mad? Walk
away?” Charles looks like a lost boy and Erik wants to gather him up in his
arms, but he can’t hide his feelings anymore. He wants to expose them to
Charles and find out whether he’ll run or not.
“No, Charles. No. I never want you to walk away from me. Don’t you understand?
I don’t want a wife or a child. I just want you.” He wipes the tears from under
Charles’s eyes as they stare at each other for a few moments before Charles
pulls back.
“Fine!” He pushes Erik away to go over to dresser and for a moment Erik thinks
Charles is about to walk out of his room and his life forever. “I don’t want to
fight anymore. I give up,” he says with a sniff as he wipes his eyes with the
back of his hand. “You win. Do what you want with me.”
“What?” Erik is right before him instantly following Charles as he backs up to
lean against the dresser, head bent down with his hair obscuring his eyes.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean.” He crowds into Charles’s space making it so
he’ll have to look up to meet Erik’s brightly alert eyes. “Do you want to be
with me?”
“Just,” Charles starts as he looks up and realizes what he’s about to do.
Erik’s heart seizes hoping the other doesn’t back down now. He feels so close
and with one word everything could come crashing back down. “Just don’t,” he
tries again and takes a deep breath.
“Anything.” Erik’s mind shouts at him with a feeling of warmth and love so
strong he grabs at Erik’s upper arms to keep from falling sideways.
“Just don’t let me die alone.” Charles is too scared to say it out loud and
once he lets it go into Erik’s mind he’s being wrapped in his friend’s arms and
pulled towards his hard chest.
“We’ll never be alone again.” Erik breathes into his ear, sending shivers down
his spine. “You won’t regret this.” Erik kisses the delicate flesh under
Charles’s ear earning a soft moan and his fingers to dig further into Erik’s
arms. Charles wants all of Erik and now, he’s wanted him since that moment by
the water and he can’t wait any longer. He’s tired of doubting everything and
tearing each other apart.
Charles wants to at least have the memory of being together with Erik before
his life goes spiraling out of control.
“I want you.” Charles sends all his pent up arousal he’s collected over the
years by seeing Erik walk around in a towel or hearing him on the cusp of
orgasm, letting Erik know he was always desired. He’s been craving Erik’s touch
for so long.
The knowledge startles Erik with the depth. He rewards Charles’s actions by
biting at his lobe gently as one wandering hand grabs at Charles’s back
pockets, bringing them flush together. Erik continues to kiss and lick the curl
of Charles’s ear, erection growing as Charles grabs at him and gasps out
beautiful sounds. Erik’s never heard something more arousing as the noises that
escape a sexually excited Charles Xavier. “Kiss me already, Erik,” is the most
beautiful, and his request is not ignored as Erik places a wetly open mouthed
kiss on Charles’s jaw.
Charles’s mouth is open in a red and plush “O” trying to seek out the ever
evading Erik as he leaves a trail of kisses all over Charles’s face and neck.
Charles’s head is thrown back due to their height difference and his head is
fuzzy with alcohol and the need to claim Erik’s tongue with his own.
“Look at you,” Erik whispers in awe, bringing a hand up to brush Charles’s
smooth neck all the way up to thumb his bottom lip.
“Kiss me,” Charles gasps again as Erik places a soft kiss at the corner of his
eye.
“I am, darling.” Charles can feel Erik smiling as he kisses his temple and
hairline. “I’ve dreamed about this since I was a horny teenager, let me take my
time.”
“Please.”Charles sends him into a frenzy with that one word bordering on
begging. Erik smashes their lips together roughly before backing off, slowly
licking his lips open and diving inside. Charles is rocking slowly against him
so Erik mimics the movement of his hips with his tongue, in and out in and out.
Erik groans as Charles’s hands which were hanging on for dear life are now
actively carding through his hair and pulling at the little strands near the
base of his neck. Charles’s teeth are biting gently trying to keep Erik’s
tongue inside his mouth. Erik steps forward bringing his thigh in between
Charles’s own, allowing his muscled leg to rub against Charles’s erection
giving him the friction he so desires.
“Wait,” Charles breaks his mouth away to cry out, wiggling in Erik’s grasp.
Erik thinks he’s about to pull away and stop them all together, he immediately
thinks about what he can do to convince him otherwise.
He pulls Charles higher up to wrap his legs around Erik’s lean torso, kissing
him roughly so he makes his way to the tiny bed in the corner. “Erik!” Charles
cries out in surprise as he’s dropped down, but Erik follows right along with
him, kissing him quiet. One of Erik’s hands finds their way under Charles’s
button up shirt to caress its way up the soft skin until thumbing his nipple,
the image of Charles throwing his head back in pleasure is almost too much for
Erik to handle. He pulls Charles’s shirt further up as their torso roll
together in perfect sync until finally Erik throws the unwanted clothing to the
side to stare down at Charles’s mussed hair and pale chest.
“Take yours off now,” Charles’s voice is quiet, but his eyes heavy with want
and arousal. “Please,” he adds as his hand unconsciously goes down to palm at
his jean clad cock. Erik swears silently as he tears his own shirt off and
immediately goes to work on his own belt and jeans, Charles mimicking him until
they’re both down to their underwear. Neither of them knows who moves first,
but they both wrap their arms around each other removing all space between
their erections and stomachs. They half moan, half groan in unison. “Erik,
wait.” Charles tries interrupting again when they start rocking against each
other.
Erik shushes him before pulling back and slipping his fingers under the elastic
of Charles’s tighty whiteys. Charles doesn’t fight him and actually lifts his
hips to help ease the parting of his underwear from his body. Erik may be
biased, but Charles’s cock is the most beautiful he’s ever seen. It isn’t the
biggest, but it’s long enough and slender and calls to his hand to stroke as if
it was magnetic. He allows his hand the luxury to touch, and to skim his
fingers down the length before closing his fist and stroking upwards. Erik
watches Charles’s face the whole time.
Charles’s breathing speeds up as Erik presses their chests together for a
closer look at the expressions flashing across his face.
“What were you saying?” Erik smiles as his fist pumps faster and adds a twist
which causes Charles to cry out and twitch.
“Ngh,” Charles moans as he turns his face away with his eyes squeezed shut,
arms clinging onto Erik’s shoulders. “Fuck, Erik!” Charles loses control of his
mind, letting his arousal and feelings flood into Erik, halting his movements
as the pleasure engulfs him. Erik backs off to catch his breath and take in the
sight laid out before him.
“I want you to fuck me,” Erik quickly takes his own black briefs off before
straddling Charles’s waist again.
“What?” Charles could come by only hearing Erik request such a thing.
“I want you to fuck me.”Erik reaches over to rummage in his bedside table,
Charles lightly kisses his chest when it gets closer, not realizing what Erik
is requesting until he sees the small bottle. “You’re going to love this.”He
knows it might be too much to ask for since Charles is just now accepting the
fact he gets turned on by Erik, but Erik needs this connection now and can’t
wait anymore.
He’s only allowed one other person to do this and that was because of their
uncanny resemblance to the one guy whose erection is currently nudging at his
balls. Erik arches his back as he hovers over Charles; his eyes are currently
glued to the movement of Erik’s arm behind him, preparing himself.
“You don’t have to do this, Erik.” Charles’s mind is a haze of lust. Erik
doesn’t have to, but he’ll never forgive himself if he doesn’t right now. “We
could wait.” Erik is tired of waiting. He shakes his head before adding another
finger, his thighs tightening around Charles’s waist. “Do you want me to?”
Charles asks out loud as his hands soothe up and down Erik’s thighs,
fingernails gentle against his skin. He takes his time adding a second finger,
stretching himself.
“I’ve only done this once so just give me time,” Erik’s voice is breathy as his
three fingers go in and out slowly, eyes closed.
“Do you want to switch places then?” Charles’s cock is leaking from just
watching Erik prep himself and he doubts he’ll make it feel good for Erik
before coming right away.
“Later.” He finally opens his eyes to lock on to Charles’s, moaning deeply as
he removes his fingers. As Erik moves forwards Charles’s hands go straight to
his arse, squeezing his cheeks as Erik lines them up and sinks down. Erik
exhales loudly as if punched in the gut, not knowing he was even holding his
breath. Charles’s thighs instantly go up wanting more of that delicious warmth
and tightness, but he calms himself down. The pleasure that rackets up
Charles’s spine is too much for the shields he’s been keeping up in his mind to
give Erik privacy. All of Erik’s feelings and desires and pure lust rush out
like water, flowing into Charles who has to bite down hard on his bottom lip to
keep from moving.
“OhErikOhGodFuckYesOhGodPleaseCanI? I want to. Please.”Charles wants to
desperately move, but doesn’t dare move a muscle until Erik’s ready.
Erik grabs blindly at one of Charles’s hands, bringing it up to his hold
against his own jaw and squeeze tightly as he slowly raises himself up. Without
asking permission as Erik slides back down roughly, Charles opens his mind to
Erik for him to experience all the amazingly delicious pleasure Erik’s giving
him. Erik’s slow movement falters as he doubles over, foreheads almost pressing
together, allowing himself to feel what Charles is feeling. Erik feels himself
moving around on his own cock, but it’s really what Charles is feeling. He’s
overwhelmed and he wants more.
“I love you,” Erik whispers out, eyes finally open and boring into Charles’s
brilliant blue. His declaration is met with loud gasping as Erik pulls himself
up quickly.
Erik sits back up, and leans back to brace his arms on Charles’s legs.
Charles’s eyes soak up the image of Erik’s lean form atop his cock, pulling up
and grinding back down faster and faster, allowing his hands to run up and down
Erik’s side and chest rapidly. Erik’s own erection bobbing around, dripping
with precome before Charles takes it in hand to stroke in time with Erik’s
pace.
He loses control quickly after Erik starts making little noises while squeezing
his muscles around Charles’s cock. He pistons his hips up into Erik as he
grinds down hard, a series of “Fuck me,” “I love you,” “Harder,” falling from
Erik’s lips.
Erik can feel everything. He expects himself to burst into a million little
pieces when he feels not only his own orgasm approaching, but Charles’s as
well. Charles’s thrusts double in speed and Erik’s movements are erratic,
building from their spines and whiting out everything as their orgasm finally
takes them both over. Charles pumps Erik until he’s coming all over his chest
while Charles bucks up into the heat of him.
“Fuck!” Erik hisses out, chest falling against Charles who bites his bottom lip
hard and arches his back against Erik riding out their orgasms.
Time seems to slow as Erik slumps off to the side and Charles is sadly
dislodged, but his leg remains thrown over Charles’s hip. They are both sweaty
and twitchy as the aftershocks still course through their bodies, Erik feels
them double as their connection is still open. He doesn’t care that Charles
came inside of him and is now all over his thighs or that the mess will be
awful to clean up. It doesn’t matter to him that he’ll be sore in the morning.
Erik doesn’t want to move a muscle.
They remain silent, Erik breathing heavily onto Charles’s shoulder who turns
his head to mouth at Erik’s hot forehead. The connection is slowly closed and
Erik drifts off to sleep dreaming about doing that all over again in every room
of their apartment.

Erik wakes up at an unknown time, but it feels ungodly early. The first thing
that pops into his mind is Charles, who isn’t there. He’s surprised to find
that the only evidence Charles ever was in his room are the underwear that’s
still on his bedside table. Erik’s even more shocked to find the awful mess
which he was dreading is cleaned.
It’s loud in the apartment thanks to the garbage truck outside, but Erik can
hear Charles’s worried voice coming from the living room. He throws on clean
clothes quickly before peeking out. Charles is wearing an oversized hoodie (one
of Erik’s) and boxers while staring out the front window on the phone, too
focused on his conversation to notice Erik walking behind him to the kitchen.
Thanks to the garbage truck Erik isn’t able to hear the whole conversation
Charles is having in the living room as he stands looking inside the
refrigerator. What he hears is, “…didn’t mean anything,” “going to move out,”
“You mean so much to me, Moira,” “we are over then, I promise,” and right when
Erik is about to come out and demand answers he hears, “I don’t love him.”
The apartment is drenched in silence as the truck finally drives away.
“I’ll talk to you soon. Please just think about what I’ve said. I don’t want to
lose you, Moira,” Charles closes his phone once he hears her hang up. He turns
around to see an empty kitchen.
Earlier that morning, Charles woke up before Erik so he took a quick shower. He
felt guilty seeing Erik still messed so he took a warm washrag and did what he
could so Erik wasn’t miserable upon waking. Charles was just making tea when he
was raked with guilt about Moira. He didn’t want her to think he was using her
all these years or that they were having a secret love affair behind her back.
Last night was one of the best things to ever happen to Charles and he didn’t
want anything ruining that for them. Not yet, they still had at least a few
months before things fell apart.
“You could have told me before, Charles!” Moira had cried out feeling betrayed.
She thought the two friends might have had feelings for each other, but for
them to get together so soon after their breakup made her feel angry (though
Steve might have something to say about that). “I feel like an idiot for not
seeing this sooner.”
“Please don’t be upset, you aren’t an idiot. I didn’t allow myself to do
anything before now.”
“And what changed?” Moira had demanded fiercely. “Getting dumped? Trying to
have sex in high school? After you two had kissed at Halloween!” Charles had
told her everything as she quietly listened, seething.
“I don’t want you to think you didn’t mean anything,” he had cried out trying
to keep their friendship intact.
“Is he going to move out? I mean you two just started dating and now you’re
living together! Do your parents know about this?”
“He isn’t going to move out! This just happened yesterday.” His teeth worry at
the oversized hoodie’s sleeve that he had stolen from Erik’s closet, which
still smelled of his now boyfriend (Charles felt stupidly giddy at calling him
that but he was going to enjoy it while it last), he needed the reminder for
dealing with an irate ex-girlfriend.
“It was all about him wasn’t it?” Moira had started to cry which tore at
Charles’s heart.
“You mean so much to me, Moira.” He steeled himself for the backlash before
continuing. “If you can’t accept my decision then we are over, I promise.”
Charles checked his phone after a moment to make sure she hadn’t hung up on
him. “Don’t be like this, please. I know I’ve messed up by not telling you
about my feelings before, but I was scared!”
“Do you love him?” Moira had quietly asked.
“All my life I’ve been telling myself that I don’t love him, but that isn’t
true.” Moira hadn’t hung up on him so he took that as a good sign.
After Moira remained silent for a few more moments they said goodbye for her to
go deal with the situation on her own. Charles went to join Erik in his too
small bed again, but instead of sleeping peacefully Erik was already dressed
with a small bag which was probably filled with books.
“Don’t tell me you have class!” Charles dramatically slumped his shoulders with
a frown, but Erik saw no humor in his actions.
Erik sidesteps Charles who tries to wrap his arms around his waist. Charles
feels addicted to touching Erik now that he’s allowing himself and he wants to
touch him as much as possible before he isn’t allowed to anymore (he knows
nothing lasts forever). He follows Erik into the living room, watching as he
stuffs his bag with papers on the coffee table.
“Maybe you should move to California.” Erik says with his back still turned,
not allowing Charles to see the hurt and pain.
“You’d move way over there?” Charles asked curiously with a small smile, happy
to be in their apartment alone with Erik and imagining them on the beach, Erik
without a shirt and wet.
“No, I could never live where the seasons don’t change.” Erik scoffs while
blocking out all of Charles’s attempts at reading his mind.
“Then why would I move there?” Charles tries meeting Erik’s eyes, but fails as
Erik turns to stalk towards the kitchen, not able to look at Charles when he
says what he’s going to say.
“Isn’t that what you want?” Erik’s fists bunch at his side, wanting to grab at
Charles force him to see that Erik could give him so much more instead of
Moira. “For me to give you up so you can go live with Moira?” Erik throws back
his shoulders, trying his best to look threatening while not letting Charles
get in his way as he zips his bag up roughly and heads towards the door.
Charles tries again to skim Erik’s mind, but that wall is firmly in place
between them, blocking him out. He suddenly feels panicked and all the warm
feelings he had earlier when looking at the sleeping Erik vanish as pure fear
sets in. “Erik, why would I want that?”
“You don’t love me.” Erik shrugs helplessly as Charles is flashed back to Kurt
arguing with his mother at dinner while Cain kicked him in the shins under the
table, declaring that his mother didn’t love him while Sharon loudly denied
those claims. He’s so shocked at what they’ve become so quickly he doesn’t
respond. “Am I even your friend anymore?”
Erik makes his way to stand by the door, one small bag flung over his shoulder.
Charles doesn’t understand how their relationship has changed so much since
last night, he wants to go back and be wrapped in the safety of Erik’s arms,
but he feels Erik would only push him away if he tried.
“Please don’t do this. We’ve only just started.” Charles doesn’t pretend his
voice isn’t rough and tears aren’t obscuring his view as Erik opens the door,
bright morning light burning his eyes.
“I’m going home,” Erik’s voice is firm and final making Charles want to lash
out and cause him to feel everything he’s feeling.
“This is your home!”
Erik turns around abruptly, grabbing Charles’s by the arms painfully. “I can’t
pretend anymore, Charles. I need you to tell me what I am to you. I need to
hear you say it.” Erik shakes him slightly trying to force the words out. “I
need you to love me.” He waits a few moments for Charles to say something,
anything.
“I won’t become her!” Charles drops his head to bury his face in Erik’s shirt,
tears leaving a wet spot when he’s pushed away.
“You’ll know where to find me.” The door doesn’t slam, the sign mocks him, and
Charles has never felt more alone.

Four hours later Charles falls off the couch where he had sat after Erik left
him. He was trying to sort through his thoughts and what life would be like
without Erik when pure white hot anger engulfs his mind. Erik’s rage causes him
to grab his head in his hands, pulling on his hair. Something is terribly
wrong.
 
***** Chapter 10 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Erik drove as fast and recklessly as he could in his big rusty pickup truck and
it still took him almost four hours until he saw his home, truck groaning at
the speed (usually it takes around three hours in Charles’s shiny Mercedes). He
refused to think about Charles and instead felt ease start to settle over him
as he thought about his aunt baking him cookies to cheer him up and sleeping in
his old bed, pretending to still be a young and naïve child.
He lets the screen door bang nosily behind him, setting his bag on the wobbly
kitchen table that’s been there since he first moved in with its fake wood
paneling peeling off. Charles’s old sweater from last year is still hanging up
next to the door, pockets visibly stuffed with old tissues and cough drops. He
can still remember how sick he had gotten, hearing Charles in the corner of his
truck sneezing and coughing as they drove through the snow to exchange gifts
with Nina.
“Nina?!” Erik yells out, needing comfort as he thinks about that being their
last holiday together, and it will be if Charles doesn’t choose what he wants.
If he does decide he wants Moira instead then Erik will kick and scream inside
while calmly watching him walk out of his life. Who is he to stop him? “Nina?”
He calls out again when he hears things falling in her tiny bathroom as he
approaches the half open door. Erik tries to open the door wider, but it’s
blocked by Nina herself who is slumped over the small sink and cabinet. “Are
you-” he doesn’t finish the sentence when his aunt looks at him.
Nina has a bloody cut on her forehead and on her lip, and she’s holding her arm
like it’s broken.
All the metal around them goes flying away except for the watch Charles gave
him, which heats up, burning his wrist. He quickly goes over to her side,
wrapping his arm firmly around her waist as she allows her full weight to rest
against her nephew’s strong chest.
“What happened?” Erik gently brushes the curly hair that’s sticking to the
still slightly wet blood on her forehead.
“He got so angry,” her voice sounds weak and brittle sending him into a rage
once he realizes what she’s saying.
“Shaw?” He tries calming himself down; Nina needs him to fix her before he goes
on a killing spree, but he can’t keep the fury, anger, pain, and betrayal from
flowing off him in waves. Erik trusted Shaw to keep his aunt safe and instead
he dares to harm her? Erik isn’t responsible for what happens the next time
Shaw shows his face. He isn’t aware that three hours away in their apartment,
Charles is trying to stop his nose from bleeding.

“Tell me everything that happened,” Erik tries not to sound demanding as he
slides Nina’s tea over to her. Her face is freshly washed and her wrist is
bandaged thanks to Erik. He tried talking her into going to the hospital, but
she almost broke down in tears at the idea.
“I’m pregnant.” She takes a fortifying sip of tea before continuing, ignoring
the shock on Erik’s face. “I’m not that old, libeling. Forty-four years young.”
Her smile is sad and small.
“And he still did this to you?” Nina grabs Erik’s hand in hers to soothe her
fingers over his knuckles. “How long have you known?”
“I’m three months along, but I went to the doctor yesterday to confirm.” She
uses her free hand to wipe away the stray tears she refused to shed. “I thought
he would be happy, but instead,” Nina trails off looking out the window at the
trees. “He wants me to get rid of it and when I refused he confessed he’s
married. Has been married this whole time and doesn’t want children. Sebastian
threw money on the table for the solution to my problem and when he turned to
leave I grabbed his arm.” Her eyes find Erik’s before continuing on. “He barely
tapped my arm, but he sent me flying back, hitting my head on the coffee table.
I’ve always thought he was so charming, but at that moment… he was terrifying.”
“He’ll never touch you again,” Erik’s voice is firm and final. He’s speaking
the truth and wants to get rid of the terror Nina is feeling.
“I was so scared.” The tears get too much for Nina and she finally breaks down,
crying into Erik’s strong forearm as he kisses the crown of her head, smoothing
her hair down.
“I’ll take care of this, and then I’ll help you raise the baby.” Nina looks up
at him when the tears finally stop. “We’ll be a family and I’ve always wanted a
little cousin.” Erik tries to give her a reassuring smile and nudges the tea
cup for her to take another sip, calming her nerves.
“I don’t want you to bloody your hands, Erik.” Nina swallows roughly, throat
sore. “Where’s Charles? He’ll keep you out of trouble.” His name causes Erik to
let down the wall he’s forgotten about constructing in his mind, seeking out
the nudge of Charles’s thoughts in his own head.
“Erik?!” Charles is yelling inside his mind trying to get through while also
trying to keep himself from vomiting as drives as fast as he can to Nina’s
house where he felt all of Erik’s pain. He’s been trying to contact Erik, but
after the blast of rage he hasn’t been able to keep his mind again. Cold dread
has settled in his stomach.
Charles almost goes off the road when he feels the answering warmth of Erik’s
mind allowing him inside to read his thoughts. He’s instantly speeds up to get
to them in time. Erik’s thinking is dangerous and Charles has to be by his
side.

Charles arrives right after Erik has put Nina in bed and marched out the front
door to confront Shaw. He’s dressed in a black turtleneck and black jeans,
truck keys in his hands.
“Erik!” Charles calls out as stumbles out of his car, trying to catch him
before he gets to the rusty truck in front of the house.
“Don’t stand against me on this, Charles. I have to protect my family.” Erik
reaches an arm out to halt Charles’s steps by his belt, reminding him of when
they were teenagers and Cain was still beating down his door.
“I’m so sorry, Erik. I didn’t know he was capable of such a thing. His mind was
always closed off, I just figured there were some I couldn’t crack.” Charles
tries to fight against the pull to get to Erik before he slams the door in his
face.
It’s Friday night and if Shaw is a creature of habit (which he is) he’ll be
chatting out front the store, hamming it up with the locals. Driving the truck
would only take him a few minutes to arrive at the small grocery store.
“Stay here and don’t follow me.” Erik finally pulls open the door with a rusty
screech.
“This is what Shaw wants!” He yells out trying to get Erik to come back to him.
“If you kill him.”
“Who said anything about killing?” Erik turns back with a dark gleam in his
eyes. “I’m going to destroy him.” He sends Charles sprawling back on the grass
with a flick of his wrist and unable to get back up again.
Charles refuses to be helpless as Erik goes off to confront Shaw, so he does
what he can and seeks out Shaw’s oddly blocked off mind. He finds with age his
powers have grown exceedingly and he is able to prod inside until he’s seeing
through Shaw’s eyes as he talks with a teen girl about her softball game,
staring at her low-cut top. Charles riffles through Shaw’s memories, finding
his beautifully blonde wife, brightly red right hand man, and his amusement at
Nina’s ridiculous idea of carrying his child. He stays unnoticed inside Shaw’s
mind until he climbs into his expensive BMW and that’s when he sees Erik
standing in at the corner of the street. Charles instantly shuts down Shaw’s
functions after he steps on the gas pedal, racing down the main street.
Shaw is unable to think, move, speak, or use his mutant ability as Erik splays
out his fingers at his side, tearing the tires off the car while flipping the
vehicle upside down once. He doesn’t go for the killing blow, just leaves Shaw
bloody and unconscious. Charles’s presence in his mind prevents Shaw from
absorbing the impact and they both feel metal jam into his spin cord, leaving
his legs useless. Erik leaves the scene pretending not to see what the small
crowd outside the grocery witnessed, truck roaring away in the coming darkness.
He is unaware of the gasping Charles sprawled across his yard, trying to
breathe through the pain.

Before Charles leaves Shaw’s twisted and confused mind he places a block around
the man’s powers (usually he’s doing the opposite with his own powers, trying
to expand and broaden). He backs out slowly from Shaw’s mind just as the
paramedics arrive on the scene. Charles is collapsed on the grass once more,
but with no pull drawing him back keeping him grounded. The usual pain after
overusing his powers isn’t there as he opens his eyes, nose dry and no blood
running down. He would be feeling triumph if it wasn’t for the fact he just
helped Erik destroy a man’s life. He’s terrified that Shaw’s associates will
come demanding his powers to be returned, but that’s when the exhausted bone
weary feeling sets in leaving him helpless on the living room couch.

Erik doesn’t go home until late that night, having driven around trying to
clear his head before facing Nina and Charles. He needs a clear head to focus
on supporting Nina and standing firm in front of Charles. He keeps the front
door from banging shut, knowing Nina is still fast asleep from the bracelet
she’s worn since Erik came to live with her (an old birthday present from his
mother to her sister). Charles’s necklace is on the couch, slowly rising and
falling with the movement of his steady breathing. He doesn’t wake him before
heading to his small bedroom and lying on the covers with sleep evading him.
The next morning Charles is up and out of the house before everybody else has
woken up, Erik finally went to sleep after listening to his mind restlessly
worrying about backlash and Charles moving away. He wanted to reassure him that
he wasn’t going anywhere, but needs to take care of Shaw’s friends first.
Charles heads straight to the hospital, knowing Shaw has company by the feel of
their minds, so clear now since that nagging headache isn’t there to hinder
him. He feels powerful and unstoppable, he knows he won’t lose this battle.
He tricks the hospital staff into thinking he’s supposed to be there until he’s
upon a private waiting room occupied by two people. Emma Shaw is arguing on the
phone about a hospital transfer saying the current one isn’t up to her
standards. The other is a brightly red skinned man with black hair. Charles
could feel Emma trying to hold up the glamour of him appearing to be only
tanned with no tail, but he quickly destroys the illusion causing them both to
look sharply over at him.
“Who let you in here?” Emma demands clicking her phone shut.
“I let myself in here and I have something to show you. Something that will
make all those regrettable plans running inside your mind seem highly unwise.”
Charles lifts his hand up to touch his temple, sending memory upon memory he
has of Shaw and Nina together forced into Emma’s mind.
Emma had no idea thanks to the weak mental block she herself placed inside
Shaw’s mind about his affair or current child growing inside Nina’s belly.
“I think you should also know that if you try and harm anybody in my family
that I will come back for you,” Charles sends images of her diamond form
cracking and her associates turning on her thanks to his superior mind control.
“Am I clear?”
“That fact that you’d think I’m that stupid to defend this asshole after all
he’s done insults me, sugar.” She stands up, fixing her white cape around her
shoulders. “Thankfully we’ve never had a prenup and I know a good attorney to
get your dear Aunt her child support. I won’t let my ex-husband turn into a
deadbeat dad like my own was.” Charles glimpses a sad blonde child alone in the
world as her mother whored and her father drank.
“Thank you.” Charles tries to keep his voice firm and even. He looks over at
the other man that’s been standing quietly in the room. “Nina still likes
freshly cut flowers if you’re interested.” The man looks sharply up at him with
bright eyes, hope and anger warring within him.
“Az, let’s go.” Emma snaps out, giving him her elbow, and they disappear in a
puff of sulfur smelling smoke.
 

Erik wakes up to Nina cooking breakfast with a false cheerfulness and an empty
couch. He tries feeling out for Charles’s necklace, but it’s too far away.
Regret overwhelms him with could’ves and should’ves. He should have woken up
him last night, begging him to stay. He could have forced Charles to never
leave his side with the force of his powers. Erik knows he would have ended up
alone either way.

Charles doesn’t go to Erik’s after leaving the hospital and instead heads
towards the empty looking mansion with its immaculate hedges and flowerbeds,
looking as if someone actually loved the place instead of housing a mad woman.
“Charles!” Sharon bursts from the kitchen the moment he steps inside the door.
“I saw your car and had hoped it was you.” She looks like she’s made an effort
with her makeup, but there are bags under her eyes. Her clothes smell fresh and
not like alcohol.
“You’re sober?” Charles sounds surprised which makes his mother laugh and
caress his face.
“For now,” she laughs again lightly, shrugging her shoulders. “I feel like I
needed a clear head to accomplish a few things before diving back inside the
blissful unknowing of alcohol.” Charles raises his eyebrows, never hearing his
mother talk like that before. “Oh darling, I’ve cocked things up, haven’t I?”
“Indeed.” Charles pulls her long nailed fingers from his face to look around
the kitchen, eyes settling on paperwork on the counter. “What are you doing?”
“I’ve called my lawyer and changed the will,” she states offhandedly like she
makes changes to it all the time. In reality Charles is surprised she knows how
to work a phone or how to contact her lawyer.
“Why would you do that?” Charles is terrified of her giving away all her
possessions to Cain and Kurt who are apparently living it up in London.
“You get everything.”
“You mean there was a time you had that changed?” Charles’s disbelief is
evident and Sharon shrugs again, causing his jaw to clench.
“Kurt has a silver tongue,” she dismisses with a wave and a flick of her
cigarette.
“I can’t believe you,” his voice rises as he thinks about all the things she’s
done and imagines his dreams of taking over the Xavier fortune and turning
everything around would never had come true. He had put up with her thinking
she would never betray what was rightly his. “The one thing you could have
given me and you’d have that absent husband take it instead?” Her jumbled mind
is oozing calm and serenity as if she was expecting him to lose his temper and
doesn’t care. “You’ve never loved me and I’ve never asked you to, but this
house is mine! It’s my right as my father’s son. It was never yours to give
away.”
“Oh darling, I’m so sorry,” she whispers trying to caress his cheek but her
touch and apology is empty. Sharon can’t grasp how much losing the Xavier name
would have meant to Charles. “I do things like this and that’s why I’m going to
die alone.” She turns away from him and gracefully enters her parlor room,
Charles following behind her. He doesn’t try to stop her from pouring a
generous amount of brandy, taking a sip before turning towards him. “Please,
help yourself.” She gestures to the wall of alcohol which only makes Charles
feel sick to his stomach, thinking about getting drunk with his mother. “Don’t
look so sour! You’d think that boy of yours would make sure you had a smile on
your face at all times.”
“What boy?” Charles snaps out still wanting answers to why she’d take him out
of her will.
“That boy that looks at you when he thinks nobody else is looking, whose eyes
are glued to your every move. I’m an alcoholic, dear, not blind.” She smiles,
but there’s a strange look in her eyes. “I’ve never had somebody look at me
like that,” her voice sounds sad and quiet. “I was never loved in my whole
life, but you…” She takes a gulp looking her son up and down. “You were loved
by everyone that counts. You’re the complete opposite of me.”
“I thought it was genetic.” Charles stares right back at her, eyes feeling
heavy and heart aching. He feels like he’s just run a marathon with no rest for
years.
“No, my dear boy, you’ll die surrounded by those that love and cherish you.
Your father loved you more than anyone in this world. Kurt couldn’t stand you
for looking like the man he could never live up to. Cain hated how you took all
his father’s attention. The nannies loved you. You were the teacher’s pet. I’m
sorry for never giving you a chance. I couldn’t be around somebody so much
better than I. You are loved so easily by everyone else.” She stops looking at
him, choosing to stare down at her nails instead. “I could never figure out how
you did it and it made me angry and spiteful.”
“If you let me I would have loved you,” Charles whispers glaring at the rug.
All his problems stemmed from his mother’s insecurities, he had nothing to
fear.
“Leave me alone now, Charlie. Mama’s tired.” He kisses her cheek before closing
the parlor room and exiting the mansion, home of the saddest woman he’s ever
met.
 

Erik is hard at work on his truck when Charles approaches him from the woods.
He can feel all the pieces of metal on Charles’s body, but he doesn’t turn
around. Erik is expecting him to just stand by and talk, but instead Charles
wraps his arms around Erik’s waist tightly from behind.
“Wha-”
“I want to show you something.” Charles breathes against his neck, causing a
miniature earthquake all over Erik’s body. The tension in his shoulders that
Erik’s been carrying around slowly eases away when Charles rubs them before
stepping back. “Follow me.”
Erik shuts the hood loudly before falling Charles down the overgrown path
towards the hideout, a little string of white lights surrounding the small
opening. Charles has to dip down to enter the small building that they used to
spend hours upon hours alone inside. Erik follows closely behind, eyes going
wide at the display laid out in front of him.
Charles has placed a huge rug (another one stolen from his house) on the ground
along with a mini picnic, candles in the middle, and comic books stacked to the
side.
“Please, sit down.” Charles gestures to the cushioned floor as he himself sits,
crossing his legs. Erik flops down, bent legs out in front of him with his arms
around his knees. “I wanted to apologize for how I acted the other morning,”
Charles voice is steady and he’s staring right at Erik, watching his
expressions. “I thought I could go through life being alone. I honestly thought
I had to, but I find I can't.” Erik cocks his eyebrow knowing how strong
Charles is and finding his statement unlikely. Charles has no need for Erik.
Charles doesn’t have to read his mind in order to gather what his expression
means. "Well, I can, but I don't want to.” Erik smiles shyly and nods his head
in understanding, not speaking. Charles reaches over to tap his raised knee. “I
want to go through it with you and-and see you every morning next to me, and go
to sleep exhausted beside you.”
Erik’s eyes widen slightly, smile dropping from his mouth to be replaced with
disbelief and desire.
“I want to be alone with you, without all these distractions pulling us apart.
I never want to be apart from you again. I know I said that I give up before,
but that's not what is happening now. I'll never give up what I want and. And."
Erik takes Charles’s hand that’s resting on his knee to pull him gently by the
wrist closer to him, almost putting his foot in a small cake he had bought for
dessert. Erik goes in to kiss Charles, but he stops him with hands on either
side of Erik’s face. "Listen to me very carefully, my dearest friend: I want
you. I love you."
Erik closes his eyes, lip quivering slightly before resting his forehead
against Charles’s. He watches as tears start gathering at Erik’s closed
eyelids, shushing him quietly before kissing his lips finally. This is
everything that Erik has always wanted and everything that Charles has ever
feared. They break apart when Charles pulls back, feeling a strong desire to
explain everythingto Erik.
“I was afraid of loving you too much so I kept distancing myself. I only dated
Moira, because she was the opposite of you and I could never love her.” Charles
takes a deep breath and tilts his head back to look at the rusty ceiling before
continuing on. “I’ve only known how my mother loves and I thought that was what
everybody did. I thought you’d run away after you got tired of me and I’d end
up drunk all the time. I know better now,” his voice breaks and he finally
looks back at Erik. “My love for you is the dearest thing I’ve ever had and I
won’t let anybody ruin that. We are stronger together than we are apart.”
Erik spreads his fingers on either side of Charles’s face, thumbs wiping away
tears. “I love you.” Charles’s broken voice whispers before they kiss again.
“I’ve always loved you,” Erik’s voice rasps out in reply as their lips part.
They continue to kiss gently and slowly, taking their time before Charles pulls
back once more, digging into his pockets to find the small item he’s stashed
there earlier.
“Make love to me,” Charles gasps out before his nerves get to him, shoving a
small bottle of lubricant into Erik’s hand resting on his hip. Erik stares down
at the little bottle before smashing his lips against Charles’s, causing him to
tumble back and knock over the stack of comic books.
Erik doesn’t let up with the assault on Charles’s lips, licking them open and
biting them gently before sucking away until Charles is writhing and wimping
underneath him. He only pulls his mouth away to take off his own shirt along
with Charles’s before kissing him again with their bare chests pressed
together, but it’s not enough.
Charles is the one that snakes his hand down to start undoing their jeans, but
Erik is the one that decides to take charge to pull Charles’s briefs and jeans
off in one go. When he leans back down, Erik’s mouth latches onto Charles’s
nipple instead of lips, biting and sucking causing Charles’s back to arch
almost painfully up.
“Oh god, Erik. Please. I need more.” Charles’s voice is wrecked and when Erik
looks up at his flushed face with his mouth hanging open he decides to show him
something new.
The moment Erik’s tongue licks up the length of Charles’s cock he shoots up
almost into a sitting position, cradling Erik’s head in his lap. “Yes!”
Erik’s hands come up to ease the writhing Charles back down against the cushion
of comic books behind his head as his lips circle around the head and bob down
slightly. “So good.”Charles’s thoughts even sound out of breath with his eyes
trained on Erik’s cheeks as they hollow out before he can’t take it anymore and
he throws his head back. His hand comes up to touch gently at the side of
Erik’s face, sending him all the feelings and sensations he’s experiencing
while getting his dick sucked. Erik pulls away, Charles’s cock falling out of
his mouth with a wet pop while trying desperately to keep from spilling in his
jeans.
“Ch-Arles!” Erik moans, grabbing at Charles’s side, trying to even out his
breathing. “You need to warn me next time.”
“I want you inside me,” Charles groans trying to pull him back down. Erik can’t
help but stare at the nakedness below him, his face flushed along with his
chest and reddened cock, dripping at the tip.
“Are you sure you want to do this here?” Erik asks as he absentmindedly rubs
Charles’s naked thigh.
“We can do it again in your bedroom later, but I won’t be able to make it that
far.” Charles opens his legs trying to get Erik’s hand to go back to his almost
painful erection. His words finally register in Erik’s mind causing him to
quickly take off his own jeans, throwing them somewhere in the corner over a
bottle of wine, clinking against the wall sharply.
“I’ll make this so good for you, Charles.” Erik kisses him messily as he
rearranges Charles’s legs wider and nudging up between them.
“I know you will.” Charles bites his bottom lip at the first touch of Erik’s
lubed finger against his arse, he takes a deep breath when Erik pushes it
finally inside, allowing Charles to get used to the feel of just one not
moving. After awhile of Erik just staring at his face as Charles wiggles
around, it gets a little annoying. “Move!”
Erik smiles showing all his teeth as he slowly moves his finger in and out,
taking his time before adding another each time. After it seems like hours Erik
has three fingers inside with Charles pushing back down, sweat plastering his
bangs to his forehead, lips red and swollen from biting down hard.
“Now you,” Charles gasps out as he raises his hips trying to feel more, his
legs are wrapped around Erik’s hips with the balls of his feet pushing into his
arse trying to get him to rock forward.
“I love you.” Erik kisses him firmly as he slicks himself up quickly and scoots
forward more, pushing gently inside. They groan in unison with both their backs
arching. Charles doesn’t dive inside Erik’s mind to feel what he’s experiencing
yet; he wants to drown in the feel of Erik moving inside him first. He never
thought he’d enjoy it so much. Erik hovers over Charles’s lips, changing the
angle of his first few thrusts.
“Uh!” Charles can’t hold back the myriad of noises bursting out of him with
every thrust and snap of Erik’s hips. “Faster, faster, Please please please god
faster, Erik.”
Erik obliges him, picking up the speed of his thrusts with Charles rocking
right along with him, meeting him with every piston and shove of Erik’s hips.
Charles’s fingers dig into Erik’s arse, biting at his neck and shoulder with
his cock rubbing against their stomachs as they move together.
“God, I wish I had a camera.” Erik is propped up on his elbows on either side
of Charles’s head, watching his face as pleasure wrecks havoc upon him.
“Maybe later,” Charles gasps pulling Erik’s head down for more kisses.
Erik feels his orgasm building and can’t stop his hips from pounding into
Charles who grabs at the blankets underneath them and to Erik’s shoulder,
finally giving in and allowing the connection to flow between them. Charles’s
chest clinches at first when the feeling of how much Erik loves him comes
through the strongest and then his cock jumps when he feels the pleasure Erik
is experiencing. Erik’s hips jerk when the loop is complete with Charles’s own
pleasure invading his mind.
“I’m going to come,” Erik warns, his words sending Charles into his own
downfall with no hands touching him. Erik buries his face against Charles’s
neck as he pumps faster and faster until finally blinding pleasure takes them
both over, Charles’s arse clenching around him.
Erik tries not to collapse on top of him, but Charles won’t allow him to land
anywhere else with his arms wrapped tightly around his torso. “You’re
mine.”Erik thinks with a smirk and a sucking kiss to the side of Charles’s
neck.
A few minutes pass with them just clutching at each other before Charles breaks
the sound of their heavy breathing.
“I want to do it again,” Charles says even though his voice sounds sleepy and
his eyes are closed.
“We will.” Erik feels ridiculously happy as he sides off to the side, pulling
Charles closer to him so he can smooth his hair back from his damp forehead.
“When?” Charles mumbles before humming contentedly, feeling Erik’s fingers
against his scalp.
“Later? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow? The day after the day after
tomorrow?” Erik laughs as he kisses Charles’s neck.
“All of those.”
Chapter End Notes
     Epilogue coming soon.
***** Epilogue *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

“Shut up and kiss me,” Erik demands to Charles as he hovers over
the chess table, fire crackling beside them with snow falling outside. The
fireplace was finished just in time for winter along with the new nursery
addition. The seven of them have moved into the lake house almost six years
ago, the new house stands in the place where their hideout used to be. Erik is
still constantly adding or fixing something, trying to improve it for Charles.
He’s taken up woodworking along with metal sculpting so he’s
created almost all the deck and furniture inside the five bedroom house
overlooking their lake.

“I don’t kiss cheaters, Erik.” Charles leans further back
in his chair avoiding Erik’s pursed lips, he does allow his hand to
reach up and push back Erik’s hair, which is graying at the temples, out
of his eyes.

“The deal was a kiss if I win this round!” Erik sits back in his
chair to throw a pawn at Charles’s chest, the hit barely noticeable
thanks to his fluffy cardigan Nina knit him last winter.

“You cheated.” Charles grins while taking off his glasses to
place them on the table.

“I. Did. Not. Cheat.”

“You always cheat.” Charles sends him images of Erik down on his
knees as he begged for permission to knock down a perfectly good wall.
“Wanda, did your father cheat?” Charles directs his question
towards the floor where his daughter is playing.

“Yes, daddy.” The dark red-haired six year old obediently
responds as she pulls the head off her Barbie to stick it on her Ken
doll’s body, curly hair blocking Charles’s view of her sweetly
innocent looking blue eyes.

“Pietro, did I cheat?” Erik looks down at his own side towards
their son gently playing with their silver colored kitten, Magneto X (or
Princess McBitey if you asked Wanda).

“I didn’t see anything, Papa.” His son turns his head
upwards to smile at his father. Erik still remembers the day Charles and him
were told that their surrogate was finally pregnant and they were going to be
parents. It was the greatest day of his life and hopefully their adoption will
finally be approved and another daughter will grace their lives.

“Stop being a kiss ass, Petri!” Wanda throws Ken’s head at
her twin brother which plonks him on the forehead.

“Wanda Edie!” Before Charles can punish his smart-mouthed child,
Zel comes bursting through the door dramatically.

“Dad says Mama is coming home! Quick hide.” He blinks his eyes,
turning off the lights in the room. Two minutes pass in not so silence since
Petri is quietly whimpering due to the darkness while Erik holds and shushes
him, quietly patting his back telling him about the party that’s
planned.

Finally the door opens to reveal Nina bundled up in a giant coat with Az by her
side, holding her hand.

“Happy Birthday!” They all shout in unison. Nina gasps and covers
her mouth in surprise while Azazel kisses her cheek.

“I love you, mama!” Zel comes up to take off his mother’s
coat as well as his step-father’s, though he’s never called Az a
step-anything. He’s been there since his mother was pregnant, showing up
on her doorstep with chocolates and freshly cut flowers, and was the one
holding him the day he was born. When they were married he was barely a month
old dressed in a suit being carried around by a smiling Erik the whole day.

“I’m so glad to be home!” Nina laughs as Az swings Wanda
up for her to kiss Nina’s cheek.

“Me next!” Pietro shouts from the ground before Nina obliges him
by picking him up in a tight squeeze.

Charles watches his family (minus Raven and her husband Hank who are
honeymooning in France) a few feet away with a smile on his lips. Erik looks
back at him and gestures for Charles to join them as they gather around the
cake in the kitchen. It’s been fifteen years since Charles “wooed
Erik” as Erik likes to claim. He hates to think what could have happened
if he continued his life alone. This is the place where he’s supposed to
be. Love has guided him, shaped him, and delivered him here. Charles
wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Daddy if you don’t come now we don’t get cake!”
Pietro stomps his foot on the counter where he is most definitely not supposed
to be.

“Erik, get him down!” Erik waves his hand, picking his son up his
metal belt to place him on the stool. “Don’t use your abilities
on the children, please.”

“Yes, dear.” Erik pretends to be browbeaten so Charles will kiss
his cheek, which he does. “You kissed me!” Erik smiles cheekily.
“Of course you couldn’t resist me.”

“Never.”

THE END
Chapter End Notes
     Huge thanks to my wonderful beta, Madneto!
End Notes
     Beta'd by the lovely Madneto (follow her on tumblr and read her
     Casanova fic!)
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!