Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/896995.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Teen_Wolf_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Derek_Hale/Stiles_Stilinski
  Character:
      Derek_Hale, Stiles_Stilinski
  Additional Tags:
      Feels, Massive_feels, Angst, stiles_has_feels_about_his_mom, derek_has
      feels_about_everything, Virgin_Stiles, virgin_stiles_getting_de-
      virginized, Topping_from_the_Bottom, topping_from_the_top, Knotting, Anal
      Fingering, Riding, Awkwardness, Fluff, derek_fails_at_feelings, derek
      wins_at_cuddling
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-07-24 Completed: 2013-08-28 Chapters: 4/4 Words: 13884
****** To A Friend ******
by sassygayhales_(EternalxBond)
Summary
     “He told us how you got your blue eyes, Derek.”
Notes
     I wrote this at 2am after having massive feels about Visionary. IT
     HELPED WITH THE FEELS.
     The title of this fic comes from a_song_of_the_same_name, written by
     Alexisonfire, the lyrics of which has always given me massive Sterek
     feels. It's sang by two vocalists, and I always imagined Dallas' (the
     pretty voice) lines belonging to Stiles while George's (the screaming
     voice) belonged to Derek.
     Edit: This fic is now finished! Tbh I would've loved for it to be
     slow burn, but I don't have that kind of attention span. I write
     drabbles and PWP and anything bigger than that and I explode. This is
     already pretty long considering my capabilities LMAO. I hope you all
     enjoy :)
***** Chapter 1 *****
“What are you doing here, Stiles?”
 
The rough voice cut through the still night air like a knife, startling Stiles
greatly. He nearly jumped off the ground, raising his arms halfway up as if to
steady and protect himself as he spun around to the source of the noise,
meeting a pair of glowing red eyes in an almost pitch-black corner of the
distillery.
 
Stiles relaxed upon recognizing the voice and the eyes, letting out a shaky
breath and swallowing as he lowered one arm while gesturing with the other.
“Jesus, Derek, can you not with the creeping up behind me in the middle of the
night? I don’t think my frail human heart can handl--”
 
“What. Are. You. Doing. Here.”
 
Derek’s voice was even sharper this time, his red eyes flaring brighter
momentarily. Stiles straightened up and lifted his hands slightly, palms facing
upward. “It’s a long story and your overabundance of punctuation is starting to
worry me, so I’ll cut to the chase. I came looking for you at the loft,
because, you know. Shit’s happening, as shit is wont to do in Beacon Hills. But
you weren’t there.”
 
Derek let out a dangerous growl, taking a step forward and ever-so-slightly
into the crescent moonlight. His shoulders were bunched high, his arms held up
at his sides with his claws at the ready. He appeared to be trying to make
himself look large and threatening, but it didn’t seem to deter the young human
even as he spoke with a razor sharp tongue to complement his sharp fangs. “How
did you find me here.” It was a statement, not a question - one that had Stiles
licking his lip nervously.
 
“Well, as you might’ve guessed, your loft wasn’t entirely empty. Cora told me
how werewolves are taught to hide and heal when you’re in danger,” Stiles
started, still standing his ground even as Derek glared and breathed with a
distinctly wolfy tinge. “And Peter … he told us a story.” Stiles paused for a
moment, his gaze flitting between Derek’s glowing red eyes, which only seemed
to be getting glowy-er and red-er. Before he could respond, Stiles continued,
briefly looking down and touching his fingers together before looking right
into Derek’s eyes.
 
“He told us how you got your blue eyes, Derek.”
 
Derek let out a loud roar, stepping forward again and baring his fangs. “I’ll
kill him!”
 
Stiles’ hands whipped up in front of him, pushing at the air between them as if
to buffer Derek away from him. “Hey hey hey hey!” Stiles’ brows lifted, one
hand forming a pointing finger at the irate alpha. “Just wait one minute, okay
Derek? Just give me a minute. Then you can kill Peter all you want. In fact
please do; the guy creeps me out so much you have no ide--”
 
“What.” It was more of a roar than a word, the loudness causing Stiles to
wince, but he still didn’t budge even as Derek seethed only two steps away from
him.
 
Brows still raised, Stiles slowly lowered his hands, keeping his eyes locked
with Derek’s. “I just … I don’t think he told the full story, okay? And I
wanted to get it from you, because …” Stiles licked his lips again, steepling
his fingers. “Because it resonated with me. It … Derek, it reminded me of my
mom, okay?”
 
Stiles’ voice cracked slightly at the end of his sentence, causing him to
swallow. Derek looked so taken aback that he seemed to be at a loss for words,
though his posture slowly relaxed into something less threatening. His eyes
never left Stiles’, but even they seemed to glow less fiercely.
 
“The only other person that knows about this is my dad. I’ve never even talked
to Scott about it. Because I don’t -- I don’t think he could understand. You
just can’t. Not unless you’ve had something like that happen to you. It’s not
something that anyone can fathom without it --” His voice cracked again and he
brought a hand up to his mouth briefly as he seemed to collect himself.
 
“He … He said that the bite usually takes.” He explained, gesturing with his
hands. “That she was young, and strong.”
 
At the mention of Paige, Derek let a loud breath out his nose, shaking his head
once and staring off to the side as he clenched his fists and closed his eyes,
pain written all over his face. Stiles didn’t wait long to continue.
 
“My mother was young, and strong too. They said she had a good chance of
beating it. The cancer.” Stiles watched Derek’s eyes open again, this time
turning to him with a mixture of the pain from before, but also sadness. “She’d
gone into remission once and they said with more chemo, she’d be able to beat
it this time.” Stiles took a shaky breath, his voice consistently unsteady now.
 
“But she didn’t. She just … she fought. She struggled. She did her best but
she. She withered right in front of us. She suffered for months.”
 
Stiles brought a hand up to hurriedly wipe at his face, almost as if annoyed by
his tears. He sniffed, and then glared in Derek’s direction - not at him, but
at the story he was telling. “It wasn’t fair. They should’ve been fine. They
should’ve lived. But they didn’t.” He shook his head, wringing his hands
slightly. “And nothing … and no one can make it okay. Nothing can make it
better. A part of me was lost and is never coming back.” He looked directly
into Derek’s eyes, his voice strong with conviction. “She’s never coming back.”
 
Derek’s wolfish attributes were all but gone, now. No fangs, no claws. Only
dimly glowing eyes, probably just enough to enhance his sight in the dark
distillery. Where there had once been anger and pain on his face, there was now
only despair and vulnerability, his body seeming to sag under the incredible
burden he carried.
 
Stiles wiped at his face with an arm. “I don’t talk about it, but I could. My
dad understands, I could talk to him if I wanted to. But you, Derek? You have …
no one.”
 
Derek just stared, his brows knitted with sadness and his shoulders hunched
forward slightly. He swallowed, but didn’t otherwise move, almost like he was
frozen from being seen so clearly. From being seen past his walls in a way only
someone who had suffered something similar could.
 
Stiles sniffled before replying. “That’s why I came here to find you. I thought
… that you deserved to know that you’re not alone. Not … not in this.”
 
Derek stiffened, pulling back slightly and shaking his head, his voice low and
pained. “I don’t deserve anything. I killed her.”
 
Stiles frowned, shaking his head as well. “Derek, you had no reason to believe
the bite wouldn’t take.”
 
Derek huffed out his nose again, his eyes flaring. “Stiles I killed her. I
physically kill--”
 
“You ended her suffering!” Stiles shouted, startling the alpha into silence.
Stiles’ tears were in full force again, his breaths uneven. “You spared her!
You spared her unimaginable pain, okay? If I had been able to --” His voice
caught, and he brought a hand up to muffle the sudden sob in his mouth.
Swallowing, he shook his head once more. “Instead of seeing her waste away in
front of me, dying before my eyes, slowly slipping away from all of us, I. I --
” He covered his mouth with both hands, tears flowing down his fingers as he
curled in on himself and muffled a loud sob.
 
Derek stepped forward, his face full of concern. He swallowed hard, and slowly
held a hand out, reaching toward Stiles. The human did nothing to stop it, and
soon trembling fingers found Stiles’ shoulder, carefully sliding onto it before
giving it a firm squeeze. Just like he had done for Derek only yesterday.
 
Stiles looked up through tear-stained eyes, and in a flash had his arms wrapped
around Derek’s middle, hugging him tightly. The alpha was so surprised he
merely froze, muscles taut and unsure. Slowly, slowly, he began to relax, and
began to slide his own, larger arms around Stiles. He held him loosely at
first, as if unsure about how to do this, but then tightened his grip as he
felt Stiles sobbing against him, resting his face against Stiles’ hair and
closing his eyes. He took a deep breath, a tear or two escaping his own eyes at
first, but soon more followed, and his arms curled around Stiles even further.
 
They held each other in their shared misery for what seemed like hours, but
eventually their tears dried up and they slowly began to part. Neither one
seemed to want to meet the other’s eyes, but when they finally did, the moment
lingered between them for an eternity.
 
Stiles finally brought a hand up and wiped at his nose, sniffling and nodding.
“That’s it, I guess.” he said quietly before turning, taking a few steps toward
the exit.
 
“Stiles.”
 
He turned, looking at Derek with his brows raised. Derek gave him a small nod,
his face looking as open and bare as Stiles had ever seen it. His voice was
barely above a whisper.
 
“Thank you.”
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     Stiles finds Derek at a familiar place, and things get a little more
     heated this time.
Chapter Notes
     Welp I wrote another thing and it goes along with the first thing so
     I put the things together! There will probably be more, eventually!
     Also this was written before the mid-season finale so I fully expect
     something here to get debunked next week but oh well c:
“What are you doing here, Stiles?”
 
The soft, weary voice slid through the still night air like a phantom haunting
the dark distillery.
 
This time, Stiles didn’t jump.
 
“I could ask you the same thing, Derek.”
 
The cold blue eyes peering out of the darkness disappeared for a split second
as Derek blinked, but he stayed in the shadows, pulled around him like a
security blanket. He grunted, lifting his chin slightly. “I needed time to
think,” he replied after a moment.
 
Stiles nodded in understanding, fiddling slightly with his hands. It was a
valid excuse - they’d finally beaten the Darach and the alpha pack, along with
saving their parents. But there was one thing left unaccounted for.
 
“Why are your eyes blue?” Stiles asked softly, curiously, threading his fingers
together as he looked directly at the werewolf. Derek frowned in response.
 
“You already know why.”
 
Stiles rolled his eyes, pulling his hands apart to let them drop to his sides
in exasperation. “I mean why are they blue now, smartass.”
 
Derek didn’t reply right away, instead letting the moment hang between them as
he collected his thoughts. He took a small breath and let it out, staring down
at the ground. “It was the only way to save Cora,” he answered in a resolute
tone, looking up again and squaring his shoulders. He reminded himself that it
was one of the few choices he’d been sure about in the last while, and he
wasn’t going to let anything take that away from him, especially his own sense
of guilt.
 
Stiles tilted his head, raising his brows. “You gave up your alpha power, to
save her?”
 
“Yes. Now tell me why you’re here,” Derek grunted, his tone becoming sharper,
making it clear that he didn’t want to continue along that line of
conversation.
 
Stiles rolled his eyes again, holding his hands out at his sides slightly.
“Derek. I’m not an idiot, and I know you aren’t either.” Stiles paused, seeming
to reconsider as he gestured with a hand. “Well, actually, you are, but not in
this case.”
 
Derek folded his arms over his chest and raised his brows, which would normally
be almost impossible for the human to see in the darkness, but Derek Hale’s
eyebrows could probably be seen from space.
 
Stiles’ eyes narrowed as his head tilted a little again, and when Derek didn’t
offer a response, the human gave an exasperated huff. “In case you forgot, we
met here the last time you needed alone time.”
 
“That’s right. Alone time.”
 
Stiles let out a frustrated growl. “I take it back, you are a complete idiot.”
He stepped forward, gesturing with his hand again. “If you wanted alone time,
then you would’ve gone somewhere, you know, secret? Not a place where nosy
teenagers are likely to hunt you down?”
 
It was Derek’s turn to roll his eyes. “Maybe I thought nosy teenagers would
respect my privacy,” he retorted.
 
Stiles stared, snorted, and then let out a short laugh. “I don’t have to be a
werewolf to tell that that was the worst lie in history. Come on, Derek. You
can do better than that.”
 
Derek huffed out his nose, turning his gaze away and tapping on his arm with
his fingers as he shifted uncomfortably on his feet. He could feel Stiles’ eyes
on him, scrutinizing him, no doubt reading his discomfort like a book. He read
everything else about Derek startlingly easily.
 
When the werewolf didn’t respond, Stiles sighed softly. “Come on, Derek,” he
repeated, his voice softer and devoid of the teasing tone from earlier. “We
both know that if you didn’t want me to find you, we wouldn’t be standing here
right now.”
 
Derek looked back at Stiles, his expression unsure, vulnerable. Slowly, he
unfolded his arms, letting them hang at his sides, his shoulders hunched
forward slightly. He held Stiles’ gaze for a moment before casting it away,
murmuring so quietly that Stiles almost didn’t hear.

“I didn’t want to be alone.”
 
He closed his eyes, waiting for … what, he wasn’t sure. Considering all the
other times he’d let himself be open, he couldn’t help but expect the worst.
Ridicule, shame, maybe having his heart stabbed out all over again. He
immediately regretted saying it, convinced that nothing good was going to come
from this, that it was a horrible idea to begin with and he never should’ve put
himself out here to be hurt. Again. Yet again. It was all he knew really, and
it was familiar.
 
He was so torn up by his negative expectations that when he felt a warm hand on
his shoulder, he let out a breath he’d been unknowingly holding, unclenched
fists he’d unknowingly tightened. He opened eyes that had been screwed shut
tighter than he remembered doing, slowly turning them to Stiles. Stiles, the
one person he felt like maybe he could trust. The one person who had offered
him comfort in the darkest of times, who had reached out to him instead of
berating him for his multitude of failures.
 
Stiles was so close now, and yet that too felt familiar. It felt warm and
comfortable and terrifying all at once, but he couldn’t stop himself from
staring. He couldn’t stop the way his face softened and his head leaned in just
slightly, his eyelids fluttering as he sucked in a breath. He watched Stiles’
eyes flit between his own and then to his mouth, subconsciously licking his
lips, and he knew exactly where this was going. They both did. They both had
for a long time.
 
When Derek felt those lips press against his - soft, unsure - he met the kiss
with a mixture of relief and uncertainty, letting a breath flow softly out his
nose. Their lips parted with a quiet noise, but lingered close as the two men
stared at each other with half-lidded eyes. Derek brought his hands up, resting
them on Stiles’ hips and pulling him just a little closer as he felt a hand
snake around the back of his shoulder in return. Fingers slid up the nape of
his neck, threading into his hair as they each pressed in for the second kiss,
closing their eyes and meeting it firmly this time.
 
Derek couldn’t tell if his heart was pounding faster or Stiles’. Both thundered
in his ears, goosebumps lighting up along his spine and spreading, especially
where Stiles’ fingers curled in his hair. His hands tightened on Stiles’ hips,
pulling him firmly against him as he savoured the feeling of their lips sliding
together, the feeling of their bodies pressed close. Stiles’ other hand
wandered his back, rubbing and smoothing over his shirt and pulling an
appreciative hum from Derek’s throat as he leaned in to deepen their kisses.
 
It felt so right. It felt like something they’d been waiting for, something
inevitable, something that had to happen at the right time. Derek wasn’t sure
if now could be considered a good time, not with this clusterfuck of an
aftermath left to them, but the kisses proved otherwise. They were firm,
natural, and there was an undeniable spark between them as they sank deeper and
deeper into each other. Derek had been behind so many walls for so long that he
was absolutely starved for contact, for warmth, and Stiles was like the spring
sun after a long winter.
 
Derek let a huff of breath out his nose as Stiles tilted his head up slightly,
kissing him upwards and parting their lips with a louder noise. Derek pressed
his lips to his chin instead, and then to the start of his jaw before moving
back to capture that silken mouth. Stiles let out a soft noise when their lips
met again, the kind of noise that Derek knew immediately would always spur him
onward. He wanted it again, he wanted more noises like that. He wanted to pick
Stiles apart and find out what made him tick, what made him writhe.
 
Derek cautiously swiped his tongue along Stiles’ lower lip, savouring the taste
and committing it to memory. Stiles let out another soft noise, more of a
whimper this time, and Derek felt it tingle along his spine and shoot straight
down between his legs. He slid an arm around his waist and moved the other one
up, pressing his wide, warm palm flat between Stiles’ shoulder blades, keeping
him pinned close. He swiped his tongue along Stiles’ lip again, and then gently
sucked it into his mouth, rolling it between his own lips.
 
Stiles’ fingers curled tighter in his hair, against his back, and his body
practically slumped against Derek’s as a low groan escaped his nose. The change
was subtle, but unmistakable - Stiles wanted more, needed more. Every part of
his body seemed to beg for it, seemed to beg to get closer, his breaths and his
pulse rising quickly.
 
With a monumental effort, Derek released Stiles’ lip and pulled his head back a
bit, panting softly as he opened his eyes. The two of them gazed at each other
for a moment before Stiles broke the silence, his voice low and rough. “You are
an idiot,” he mumbled. “You could’ve just called me, you know.”
 
“I’ll remember that for next time,” Derek murmured in reply, causing Stiles’
eyebrows to lift as Derek kissed him much more softly than before.
 
“Next time, huh?” Stiles mumbled against Derek’s mouth, nudging their noses
together slightly. “Maybe next time could also take place somewhere that isn’t
a dirty, old, abandoned distillery with tetanus crawling all over every rusty
nail?”
 
Derek let a low noise rumble in the back of his throat as he nodded, unable to
stop from pressing their lips together whenever he could. Stiles brought both
his hands up to Derek’s face, pulling him even closer and stroking his thumbs
over the rough beard as he hummed into a deeper kiss. He shifted a foot to wrap
behind Derek’s leg a little, seemingly eager to tangle them together - a
sentiment that Derek was very in favour of.
 
“Maybe …” Stiles muttered in between increasingly noisier kisses, “somewhere
with a bed?” he asked breathlessly, his eyes opening and peering at Derek
curiously. Derek paused, puffing soft breaths against Stiles’ mouth as he
looked back at the human, a rush of warmth overcoming his body. “I mean,”
Stiles began again, his brows raising. “It’s not like we haven’t been having
sex with our eyes for months now. This is really just. Confirmation. Of what
we’ve been wanting for ages. Right?”
 
Derek just stared, frozen with indecision. Stiles was right, of course. He’d
wanted this for a long time, but let too many other things get in his way. Too
much insecurity, too much doubt. Too many feelings. He felt things for Stiles
that he hadn’t felt for anyone else in a very long time, and it both thrilled
and terrified him.
 
The werewolf had apparently taken too long to respond, because suddenly Stiles
was pulling back a little, his arms still loosely draped around Derek’s neck.
He looked almost nervous, his eyes flitting around as he wetted his lips.
“Look, Derek. I’m not going to suddenly go on a murderous rampage and stab your
heart out, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
 
Derek stiffened, huffing a breath out his nose. “I never thought you were,” he
grunted sharply, his brows furrowing.
 
Stiles pulled away entirely, bringing his hands together and puffing his cheeks
with a sigh. “It was a joke, Derek.”
 
“Not a very good one.”
 
“I can see that,” Stiles replied, looking over Derek’s rather annoyed face.
“I’m sorry, okay? I just …” He gestured slightly with his hands. “I want to be
with you. You’re an idiot, an asshole, and a grump, but … We have something.”
Stiles gestured with his hands again, tilting his head as he seemed to grasp
for the right way to say it. “We have this thing that no one else has. This
understanding. This spark. This pushing and pulling and getting under each
other’s skin until we can’t leave it alone but it just won’t heal. We don’t
want it to heal.” He looked up at Derek expectantly, his hands finally going
still.
 
Derek blinked slowly, and then nodded his head slightly. He stepped forward
cautiously, watching Stiles’ body visibly relax as he closed the distance
between them and pulled him into an embrace again. Derek kissed him softly, not
closing his eyes. “Not tonight. You should check on your father,” he murmured
against him, taking a slow, deep breath as if trying to memorize Stiles’ scent
along with his taste. As if he didn’t already have his scent memorized.
 
Stiles sighed softly, kissing back and nodding. “Yeah. But … one night?”
 
Derek pulled back slowly, nodding. “We’ll see,” he replied, his eyes roaming
Stiles’ face and body like it had so many times in the last few months. He
almost couldn’t believe that this was happening, but at the same time it really
had felt inevitable. It was almost a relief to get it out of the way, to know
that he wasn’t crazy, to know that maybe he could get the contact he so
desperately craved from someone actually trustworthy.
 
Stiles gave him a cheeky smile, winking at him as he stepped backwards. “See
you later then, grumpywolf.” he smirked, still walking backwards until he
suddenly tripped over an old pipe. He yelped and flailed, but somehow managed
to not fall over. It earned a snort and a roll of Derek’s eyes, eyes that
thoroughly roamed Stiles’ body again as it disappeared into the night.
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Summary
     “You know, I might be a virgin but I’ve had stuff up my butt before,”
     Stiles announced cheerily.
Chapter Notes
     Chapter three is here! I don't know where this is going! But it's
     going places!
     Also. I'd like to mention now that Derek in this fic is not at all
     happy with Jennifer and never will be. If this bothers you at all,
     this is your warning. <3
Derek’s ears lifted slightly when he heard footsteps ascending the stairs. He
closed the book he’d been reading by lamplight and slid himself off his bed,
pushing himself to his feet and to the door just in time for Stiles to pause
outside of it. Derek could clearly hear his heart pounding, and he guessed it
had little to do with his slight breathlessness at climbing the stairs.
 
The pulse jumped when Derek opened the door for him instead of waiting for him
to gather his courage. He was greeted with a wide, goofy, but nervous grin as
Stiles bounded inside and nearly leapt on the werewolf. Derek grunted as
Stiles’ body and fresh, clean scent hit him with a soft thud, arms wrapping
around him. A foot snaked up behind his calf, and while it was clearly an
attempt at being sexy, all it really did was unbalance Stiles to the point that
Derek had to grab hold of him before they both fell over.
 
He snorted as Stiles laughed, closing the door as he leaned in for a kiss, but
instead of the bone-melting depth he’d been going for, Stiles just grinned
wider and pulled away after a kiss much smaller than Derek had intended.
 
“You know, I might be a virgin but I’ve had stuff up my butt before,” Stiles
announced cheerily. Derek’s face deadpanned.
 
When Derek merely blinked slowly after another moment of silence, Stiles
happily continued on. “I was a curious kid, you know?” he chirped, waving his
hand a bit before wrapping it around Derek’s neck again.
 
“Fascinating,” Derek grunted, slowly guiding them toward the bed as he leaned
down to kiss at Stiles’ neck instead, seeing as how his mouth was still
babbling nonstop.
 
“What, you don’t want to hear about curious, foolhardy, thirteen-year-old
Stiles?” the human pouted, wriggling in Derek’s grasp and gasping as a soft
beard rubbed against his neck.
 
Derek picked Stiles up properly, still mouthing at his neck and throat as he
gently set him down on the bed and followed, pushing him down. “Not really,” he
grumbled from somewhere around Stiles’ shirt collar, which he seemed to be
battling for more skin exposure.
 
“Pens and electric toothbrushes -- the handle, of course -- and don’t even get
me started on the cucumber incident-- ahh!” Stiles yelped as Derek bit down at
the base of his neck, finally silencing him. But only for a moment.
 
“Oh! Oh! I know!” Stiles exclaimed as Derek pulled back and tugged at Stiles’
top. The human helped him extract his body from the multiple layers of shirts
even as he kept talking. “You’re jealous. You wanted complete and total cherry-
popping rights. Right?”
 
Derek finally just pulled back and stared at him with an impressively furrowed
brow. Stiles beamed.
 
“I bet Derek Jr. is bigger than a pen, you know. Or a cucumber, for that
matter,” he grinned while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
 
Derek’s stony facade cracked, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to facepalm or
burst out laughing. Instead he snorted loudly and rolled his eyes. “You’ll find
out in a minute,” he replied, his voice smoother than it had been as he leaned
up to tug his own shirt off.
 
“A minute is all I need, big guy,” Stiles smirked while patting the werewolf’s
newly exposed chest, and then snorted as Derek hung his head and laughed into
his own hand.
 
“Can you tell I’m nervous?” Stiles asked with his eyebrows raised, his teeth
worrying at his lower lip as he watched Derek pull his hand away, a small smile
still on his face.
 
“I have no idea what you’re talking about; you’re cool as a cucumber,” Derek
smirked playfully, earning another snort from Stiles as he leaned in for a
small kiss.
 
“Did you just make a joke? Oh my god. This can’t be happening. You smiling and
joking and hovering over me with your big, sexy, sexy body. Sexy. Sex. Sex.
Sex. We’re about to have sex, Derek!” Stiles exclaimed, his brows twisting with
worry and a little nervous whimper escaping his throat as he stared at Derek
with wide eyes.
 
Derek paused, a hint of amusement still on his face, but his expression
softened. He slid off of Stiles, laying on his side, and then his back, tugging
the human with him until Stiles was the one straddling Derek. The werewolf gave
him an expectant look. “Better?”
 
Stiles had his hands firmly placed on Derek’s pectorals, leaning on him and
seemingly frozen. His eyes just seemed to get wider. “I … I-I don’t know,” he
whined, “I have no idea what I’m doing. You at least have some idea. Even if
you are huge and hulking and I’d probably die with a mixture of fear and
arousal if you were back on top.”
 
Derek slid his hands up Stiles’ arms, resting them on his shoulder and then
closer to his neck, beginning to rub the muscles slowly. “Stiles,” he said
softly, “Breathe.”
 
Stiles stared at him for a moment, and then nodded a little, taking a deep
breath and flexing his fingers slightly. “Breathe. Right.”
 
Derek continued to massage his shoulders, and eventually slid a hand around to
rub the back of his neck, fingers sliding up into his hair and scratching there
softly. Stiles let out a small sigh and leaned down to kiss Derek, a little
slow and unsure, but deepening soon enough. Derek let out an encouraging hum,
sliding his other hand down to rub Stiles’ back as he continued stroking and
scratching his hair soothingly. It seemed to work, because soon Stiles was like
a melted puddle on top of him, all soft noises, whimpers and exploring hands.
His pulse had only slightly settled, but it was good enough for Derek.
 
Derek settled a little as well; he was nervous about this too, but certainly
less so than Stiles. He was glad they’d moved beyond awkward babbling - while
it was endearing, touch was a language Derek could speak far better, and the
current situation of being wrapped around each other was far more comfortable
for him.
 
He spread his knees a little as they settled into even deeper kisses, and felt
Stiles respond by squirming into place between his legs. They both opened their
eyes a little, breaths catching as their awakening arousals brushed up against
each other through their pants, but after a little smile from Derek and a
flushing of cheeks from Stiles, they resumed their kissing. Derek slid his
wide, warm hand all the way down Stiles’ back, eliciting a low groan from the
human as he rubbed and smoothed over his skin, settling it in the small of his
back. He pulled him closer there while lifting his hips a little, feeling warm
tingles spread through his body.
 
Stiles placed both hands on his face, feeling out his beard as he breathed
heavily out his nose and tugged at his lower lip. Derek responded by trying to
nibble where he could, tilting his head and even nuzzling against him as their
lips met and parted noisily. Stiles began rubbing his hips against him in a
slow rhythm, clearly nervous but eager, and gaining confidence as time passed
and both felt more heat wash over them.
 
Stiles let out the most delicious noises, each whimper sending a surge of want,
of need through Derek’s body. He huffed softly and tilted his head down to kiss
at Stiles’ neck again, groaning against his pale skin and following his moles
like he was connecting the dots. He kissed each one, trailing his mouth down to
the base of his neck and then across to his throat, puffing hot breaths against
him and sealing his mouth over Stiles’ Adam’s apple when he heard and felt a
low moan vibrate there. The protrusion bobbed as Stiles swallowed thickly,
causing Derek to suck at it softly, humming into his skin and pulling Stiles’
body closer by the small of his back again.
 
Their skin was starting to stick as both men flushed with heat, but neither
seemed to care. Stiles had gone from rocking his hips to rolling his whole body
against Derek, sliding their chests together and sharing each breath, each
touch with as much of their skin as they could. Derek let out a low groan as he
slid his tongue wide and flat up Stiles’ neck, coming up to gently graze his
teeth along his jaw. His eyes darted up, eager to read Stiles’ expression.
 
Instead he saw a nightmare.
 
The Darach’s face loomed over him, mouth pulled taut in a wicked grin as
disfigured skin and wild eyes pressed closer. “What, don’t you still want me,
Derek?” the creature asked with a voice like nails on a chalkboard, and when
all Derek could do was freeze and stare with shock, it opened its mouth wider
and let out a blood curdling screech.
 
Derek reacted lightning-fast, bringing his hand up and grabbing the creature
around the throat, flipping them over and pinning it to the bed as claws
pressed against its skin. He bared his teeth and glowing blue eyes
threateningly, letting out a roar in its face, only to have it melt back into
Stiles’.
 
Stiles, who was now hyperventilating and trying his best to squirm away from
Derek, hands around his wrist and eyes wide with fear.
 
Derek immediately let go, scooting back to the edge of the bed as his fangs and
his claws retracted, his eyes losing their glow but not their confusion. He sat
there, panting heavily with his brows furrowed as Stiles scooted back in the
opposite direction. “Derek what the hell?!” he spat, bringing his knees up to
his chest and staring right back with an equally confused expression.
 
Derek shook his head quickly as he sucked in breaths, his heart pounding so
hard he could swear it would deafen him. “I-I don’t know, I … I …” he
stammered, his mouth open as he just stared. A moment passed, and he took a
deep breath before sinking his face into his hands, grabbing at his hair
tightly and curling into himself.
 
“Derek, what … Jesus christ you scared me …” Stiles replied, his tone softer as
he slowly moved closer.
 
“I don’t know. I don’t know,” Derek pleaded, voice muffled by his hands, and
when he felt a soft touch on his shoulder he nearly leapt out of his skin.
Stiles’ hand pulled back when he jumped as well, only to place it firmly on
Derek’s shoulder a half-second later, giving it a squeeze.
 
“Derek … Please, look at me.”
 
Derek slowly raised his head, peeking out at Stiles from behind a furrowed
brow, his mouth open slightly as he continued to breathe quickly.
 
“I don’t know what happened but … but it’s okay, obviously you didn’t mean to,”
Stiles explained, his voice soft even as his own heart thundered loudly in his
chest. Derek could tell he was shaken, but it seemed that he wasn’t shaken
enough to try and comfort him anyway.
 
A mix of emotions roiled in the werewolf’s stomach, a pit of disgust and fear
at what he’d seen, along with confusion and shame from what he’d done to
Stiles. None of the emotions allowed him to feel worthy of receiving comfort.
 
Derek tensed, trying to pull away a little. “You should go,” he said thickly,
casting his gaze down at the bed and somehow trying to make himself smaller.
 
Stiles paused, and then let out a nervous laugh. “And leave you like this? I
don’t think so,” he replied, scooting close enough that their knees touched.
Derek didn’t bother trying to pull away again, mostly because he didn’t think
he could physically curl up any tighter.
 
“Yeah that was weird and scary but I bet you feel a hell of a lot more weird
and scared than I do,” he continued, sliding his hand over slowly to start
rubbing Derek’s back. “I trust you, okay? I know you wouldn’t do that if you
didn’t … see something terrible, or … whatever, you know? So stop trying to
push me away.”
 
Derek didn’t reply right away, instead trying to calm his still-thundering
heart. After a moment or two, he finally started to uncurl, and once he was
sitting up a little straighter, he took a deep breath and let it all out. He
glanced over at Stiles, seeing his encouraging smile, before looking down at
his own hands. He licked his lips before speaking. “I saw her face,” he mumbled
quietly, frowning at his hands. “The Darach face,” he elaborated, curling his
fingers into fists.
 
Stiles’ hand paused, and then resumed rubbing more firmly as he breathed a
soft, “Ohhh.”
 
Derek swallowed. “I can’t believe I ... that I fell for her ploy. I can’t
believe I slept with --” He let out a growl of frustration, his shoulders
bunching and a disgusted shiver running through his body as he clenched his
jaw.
 
Stiles continued to rub him. “She had us all convinced. She was a great liar,”
he said softly, his hand gently sliding up to smooth over the back of Derek’s
neck. “I know that probably doesn’t make you feel any better, but she’s gone
now. She can’t hurt anyone anymore. She can’t hurt you, anymore,” he
emphasized, giving Derek’s neck a gentle squeeze.
 
Derek slowly uncurled his fists, peeking over at Stiles with hesitant eyes.
 
Stiles’ brows lifted slightly as he nodded. “She’s gone, and you can’t change
what happened, so … try not to be so hard on yourself?” A bit of a wry smile
came to Stiles’ face. “I know I’m probably barking up the wrong tree - pun
intended - but you’ve gotta stop beating yourself up so much. Your life does
that enough for you, let’s be real.”
 
Derek snorted without amusement, but nodded slowly. “You’ve got that right,” he
muttered, raising a hand to brush it through his own hair, only to meet Stiles’
fingers there. Stiles took the opportunity to tangle them together, pulling
them away from Derek’s head and settling into a tentative hold between them.
Derek’s eyes went back to Stiles, meeting another encouraging smile, and after
a moment the werewolf squeezed his hand appreciatively.
 
“I’ll try,” he breathed, and closed his eyes as he allowed himself to be pulled
against Stiles’ warm body. He was still tense, he still couldn’t let go just
yet, but he admittedly felt much better than he had a few minutes ago. Trusting
Stiles … really trusting him, being able to lean into him and be surrounded by
warmth not just by arms but by his words was more comforting than he would’ve
imagined.
 
“That’s all I ask, Derek,” Stiles cooed softly, squeezing him affectionately
and nuzzling against the top of his head.
 
They sat like that for a few moments, both their heartbeats calming as they
simply enjoyed each other’s company and closeness. Derek focused on Stiles’
pulse, on his scent and on the waves of comfort rolling off the human. From
what he could tell, Stiles was still nervous, still a little scared, but he did
seem to genuinely care. He didn’t talk, didn’t try to force Derek into speaking
more than he wanted to, and just seemed to enjoy holding him like this. It did
more for the werewolf than anything he could’ve asked for.
 
Eventually, Derek broke the silence. “Sorry, but I don’t think Derek Jr. is
going to come out to play tonight,” he mumbled, pulling back and offering a
tiny smile. Stiles snorted at him.
 
“Yeah, well, he’s had a rough time,” he replied with a cheeky smirk, hand
sliding over to squeeze his shoulder.
 
“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”
 
Stiles’ brows lifted. “But I do want to. Unless you want to kick me out for not
getting any nookie, in which case I’ll have to seriously rethink my decision to
make you breakfast in the morning.”
 
Derek blinked at him. “... You’re going to make me breakfast?”
 
Stiles wriggled excitedly, poking him in the nose playfully. “I brought
everything I’d need for the Stilinski Special. Homemade pancakes, sausage and
hashbrowns. I mean, it isn’t like other people don’t eat those things, but I’ll
bet other people don’t put vanilla extract in their pancakes,” he smirked
proudly.
 
Derek stared for another moment before a genuine smile came to his face as he
let out an amused huff, leaning in to bump their foreheads together. “I like
the sound of that,” he murmured quietly, pausing before closing the distance
between their lips. Stiles hummed happily, returning the kiss and scratching at
Derek’s hair a little.
 
“Me too. So how about we get comfy in this huge bed of yours and gossip like
teenaged girls?” Derek snorted, but pulled away, tugging Stiles with him until
they were both laying comfortably on the bed. “Or like non-teenaged girls. Have
you seen how bad housewives are? It’s like all they do. And they get nasty.”
 
Derek smiled softly as Stiles settled his head on his chest, squirming and
gesturing with his hands as he chatted away, Derek’s fingers stroking slowly
through his hair.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Summary
     “I don’t think you understand the gravity of this ass, Derek. It
     literally has its own gravity. I can’t take my hands off of it. Or my
     eyes. Or anything. I want to be on it. I want to be in it. I want to
     be all over it for the rest of time.”
Chapter Notes
     YAY IT'S FINISHED! Hope you all enjoy :D
     PSA: Always use condoms, kids! Not everyone is a beefy werewolf who
     can't contract STDs! Or babies (which can be classified as an STD
     lbr).
     Special thanks to my homeboy Justin who discussed with me the
     logistics of knotting and general buttsex. This chapter is gay man
     approved!
Derek awoke with a start, a thin sheen of cold sweat covering his bare chest.
He nearly jumped when he felt a hand on his arm, wide eyes looking over to see
a concerned Stiles watching him, wearing a loose shirt and sweatpants. By the
warm light filtering in through the large window, Derek guessed it was sometime
in the morning. He didn’t remember falling asleep, only that they’d ended up
talking long into the night - well, it had mostly been Stiles talking, but
Derek chimed in when he could and spent a lot of time just contentedly watching
the human while having his hair stroked in between wild hand gestures.
 
Now he was having trouble shaking dark memories from his imagination, shaking
his head and curling away from Stiles as he swallowed bitter emotions and tried
to get the taste of ash off his tongue.
 
“Derek. Derek? Earth to Derek?” The hand was insistently squeezing his forearm
now, tugging gently until Derek looked over at him again. “Hey, you were kind
of mumbling in your sleep and frowning deeper than usual. You okay?”
 
Derek cleared his throat, but his voice was low both with grogginess and
misery. “Do I look okay?”
 
Stiles rolled his eyes. “Don’t get sassy with me. I’m trying to help.”
 
“Then don’t ask obvious questions.”
 
Derek wasn’t even sure where the sharpness of his tongue came from. It was
misdirected, aimed at something entirely not Stiles, but he was the closest
target and he immediately regretted it as soon as it left his lips. He grunted,
shifting onto his back again and looking at Stiles’ unimpressed face properly.
“I didn’t mean that. I had a bad dream,” he mumbled, relief washing over him as
Stiles’ face softened again.
 
“Yeah,” Stiles replied, letting go of Derek and fiddling with his own hands. He
stared down at them for a moment before looking up, and Derek could already
tell he probably wasn’t going to like what he was about to ask. He seemed
reluctant, but incredibly curious, and with Stiles curiosity always seemed to
win out.
 
“Who’s Devon?”
 
Derek froze, staring at the human for a moment. He felt himself swallow and
then look away, his hands clenching and then relaxing as unwanted memories
washed over him anew. “My younger brother,” he said bitterly, breathing out his
nose as his jaw clenched tight.
 
“Oh my god. Oh my god Derek, I’m so sorry. I knew I shouldn’t have said
anything,” Stiles muttered, and when Derek looked back at him he saw thin
fingers worrying at the hem of his shirt, frustration on his face. When warm
brown eyes met his, there was genuine sympathy there, and Derek felt some of
the tension lift from his body.
 
“Yeah. But this is what it’s like to be around me,” he grunted as he pushed
himself up into a sitting position, leaning on his crossed knees. “I bet it’s
not what you had in mind when you first kissed me,” he grumbled, the bitterness
still not gone from his voice. Of course he had to have a nightmare when Stiles
was over, on the morning after he didn’t take his virginity as planned. Instead
of having his world rocked for a night, Stiles got blue-balled and now had to
deal with past ghosts the next morning. Just perfect.
 
Stiles cautiously scooted closer. “Uh, I certainly didn’t get into a
relationship with Derek Hale expecting sunshine, rainbows and absolutely zero
emotional baggage,” he replied, his brows raised high.
 
Derek rolled his eyes and levelled an annoyed look at him. “So why did you?”
 
Stiles’ mouth thinned, like he was trying his hardest not to let his eyes roll
all the way out of his skull. “Because obviously I see something in you way
beyond all of that stuff, Derek,” he huffed exasperatedly before lifting his
hand and taking a breath. His voice was calmer when he talked next, and he
reached a hand out to rest it on Derek’s knee. “Listen. I know you’ve been
through some shit. Like, a lot of shit. Like way more shit than I could ever
even imagine someone going through,” Stiles started, lifting his hand again
when Derek opened his mouth, his annoyance only deepened.
 
“You’ve had your heart and soul trampled all over for as long as you’ve been
alive, from what it sounds like,” Stiles continued, his brows lifted high and
then lowering as his face softened, his hand moving to slip into Derek’s. “Yet
somehow … you still care about people. You still have faith in people like
Scott, you still risk your life over and over again for your pack, for … me,”
he said, squeezing Derek’s hand briefly as he wet his lips. “You’re still the
first person to jump in front of everyone to take the beating and your heart
still bleeds just as freely regardless of how many people you lose. It never
hardens over.”
 
Derek suddenly felt intensely aware of himself, exposed in a way that only
Stiles could make him feel. He wasn’t sure if he was comfortable with it, and
he couldn’t quite squeeze the hand in his, but he couldn’t pull away either. He
felt scared, nervous, and anxious all at once, and didn’t know if he wanted to
reject the probing thoughts of the human or desperately welcome in the much-
needed warmth.
 
Stiles shifted, looking uncomfortable with this moment as well. “I just … you
have this huge heart and I don’t know if anyone else sees it. I don’t know if
you see it.” He snorted softly. “I mean, it’s underneath a huge pile of asshole
and snark, but luckily for you I have one of those myself, so it’s pretty easy
for me to see through.”
 
Derek finally met Stiles’ eyes, his face open and vulnerable and clearly scared
about that. It was true, he didn’t really see his own heart - not underneath
the pile of guilt and regret he hauled around daily, along with responsibility
for the people he knew and the ashes of the past heaped on for good measure. He
just never really thought of himself as any kind of a good or worthy person,
aside from what he could do to aid others. And even that frequently backfired
on him. Derek swallowed hard and just kind of waited for Stiles to keep
talking, because he sure as hell wasn’t going to be able to form coherent words
anytime soon.
 
Stiles squeezed his hand again and broke their gaze, looking around the room a
bit and tapping his fingers on his knee. “Yep. So. I care about you, and …
that’s why I’m with you, and not because I mind dealing with your. Stuff.” He
looked back at Derek and nodded sagely.
 
Derek stared for a moment, the awkwardness palpable in the air between them. It
seemed that neither one of them were very good at this, though Stiles had tried
his damn hardest. Derek opened his mouth, willing something profound to come
out, something that would tell Stiles just how much he appreciated the words
even if he didn’t really know that they were true. Something that would reflect
that he’d listened and supported Stiles in trying his best to make Derek feel
less shitty about his life.
 
“I’m going to go take a shower,” he heard himself say.
 
He caught the confused and slightly angry look on Stiles’ face before he pulled
away and pushed himself off the bed. It wasn’t until he was under the hot spray
of water that Derek put his hands to his face and let out a groan. He really
couldn’t believe himself sometimes. Sure, he was shitty at putting his feelings
into words, but not this shitty. He could’ve at least acknowledged Stiles, at
least let him know that he wasn’t running away because he felt bad about what
he’d said. He was just … bad at this.
 
He brooded in the shower for a good while, vaguely wondering if Stiles would
even still be here when he got back. Yet when he stepped out of the bathroom in
just a towel, the smell of bacon and pancakes hit his nose like a truck. Derek
took a moment to appreciate it before wandering into the kitchen, where he
found Stiles cheerfully scooping hashbrowns onto two plates. All Derek could do
was stare.
 
Stiles looked up at him with a smile, wriggling excitedly. “I told you I’d make
you breakfast,” he chirped, placing the now empty pan in the sink.
 
Derek continued to stare, but his expression must’ve been doing the talking for
him, because Stiles picked up on it right away. “That face is all the apology I
need,” Stiles smirked. “I know neither of us are very good at feelings, so
don’t worry about that and get over here so you can tell me what an amazing
chef I am.”
 
Derek stood still for another moment before slowly coming closer, watching as
Stiles popped a piece of bacon into his mouth. He was so overwhelmed with this
whole situation that he wasn’t really sure what to say, but he did know what he
wanted to do. He would express his gratitude to Stiles in the best way he knew
how.
 
Stiles swallowed the piece of bacon right as Derek padded up to him, getting
close enough that Stiles’ brows raised as he pressed himself back against the
counter. Derek placed one hand on the counter and brought the other up to the
human’s face, cupping his jaw and thumbing over his lips. Stiles’ brows just
got even higher as he licked his lips, his pulse jumping. “Uh, hi; the food’s
over there, you know,” he said breathlessly, but he couldn’t seem to tear his
eyes away from Derek’s.
 
Derek leaned in close until they were almost sharing their breaths, revelling
in the suddenly intimate moment before he replied in a low rumble. “I may not
be good at expressing myself with words, but …” He closed the distance between
their lips, kissing him deeply and firmly. He continued to hold Stiles’ jaw,
gently rubbing his thumb over his cheek while he pressed closer and soon felt
Stiles pretty much melt underneath of him. When Derek pulled away, their lips
parting with a satisfying noise, Stiles whimpered. “That’s what I meant to say,
instead of taking a shower,” Derek mumbled.
 
Stiles’ brow quirked as he let out a breathy laugh. “You never have to say
anything again if you keep giving me kisses like that,” he replied, sliding his
arms around Derek’s waist and leaning in.
 
Derek smirked as they kissed again, pressing close and sliding his hand back to
thread through Stiles’ hair. He felt Stiles’ arms tighten around him as Derek
let his tongue lap curiously at his lips, tasting the bacon he’d eaten a few
moments earlier. Stiles’ tongue soon met his, and within moments their kissing
had devolved into wandering hands, quickened breaths and heated, sucking kisses
on each other’s necks.
 
Derek pulled away from Stiles only to tug him along, moving them from the
kitchen and slowly waddling them over to the bed as they dragged lips and
tongue along each other’s skin, hands rubbing firm muscles and tangling in
hair. The air was filled with breathy gasps, soft whimpers and the smacking of
lips as they wrapped around each other and seemingly tried to touch everything
they could reach.
 
When they got to the bed, Derek easily lifted Stiles and followed him as they
gently flopped onto the sheets. He pulled back long enough to tug Stiles’ shirt
up and off, and already Stiles’ fingers were working at his towel, his neck
craning as he tried to get a look at Derek’s bare ass once it was gone. Derek
couldn’t help but snort, ducking down to kiss at his collarbone as Stiles’
curious hands slid over him and gave it a firm squeeze.
 
“Oh my god. Oh my god,” Stiles moaned, momentarily frozen. “I have died. I have
died and I’m in heaven and there’s a literal Greek god on top of me,” he
groaned, his hands finally moving again, reverently brushing over Derek’s ass
like it was the most precious thing in the world.
 
“It’s just an ass,” Derek grumbled, rolling his eyes as he peppered kisses down
Stiles’ chest and swiped his tongue over a nipple, causing the human to yip
softly and arch up a little.
 
“Just an ass?” Stiles whined incredulously. “I don’t think you understand the
gravity of this ass, Derek. It literally has its own gravity. I can’t take my
hands off of it. Or my eyes. Or anything. I want to be on it. I want to be in
it. I want to be all over it for the rest of time,” he gasped, squirming and
groaning as Derek tugged down the waistband of his sweatpants.
 
Stiles suddenly let out a soft noise, biting his lip. Derek paused and looked
up, wondering if he’d done something wrong, but was soon rolling his eyes again
when the human started talking. “But if I’m on it and in it and everything then
you wouldn’t be on me. And I kind of want you to pound me into the mattress.
Like, so hard that I can’t walk for a few days. Oh my god Derek I can’t
decide,” he whined, pouting at him as his sweatpants were tossed to the side.
 
Derek sat back on his thighs, bringing a hand to his very erect cock and
stroking it slowly, feeling his foreskin bunch at the tip when he tugged
upwards. He watched Stiles, a smirk coming to his face as the human stared with
wide eyes and an open, speechless mouth. Derek couldn’t help but feel satisfied
at the reaction as he continued stroking himself, feeling power and desire
flood through his body.
 
“Th-that …” Stiles stuttered, his brows high as he nodded faintly. “That could
definitely … definitely help me decide. Yep.” He whimpered, his brow now
bunching as he licked his lips, his breaths coming even faster. “Yeah I want
you to fucking ruin me with that, is that a thing we can do?” he asked, finally
tearing his eyes away from Derek’s dick to look up at his face. Derek snorted.
 
“Yeah, that’s a thing we can do,” he smirked, leaning down and capturing Stiles
in a heated kiss as he continued stroking himself. Stiles’ hands resumed
groping and squeezing his ass, his body arching and rubbing up against Derek’s
as they kissed until he squirmed his knees apart even more and wrapped a leg
around Derek’s lower back.
 
“Oh my god Derek I need you so badly,” Stiles whined, hissing as Derek ground
himself down against Stiles’ erection.
 
“Yeah, uh,” Derek paused halfway up Stiles’ neck, and then peeked over his jaw.
“I don’t really …” He cleared his throat, pulling back to look at him properly.
“I don’t exactly know how …”
 
Stiles stared at him with a flushed, confused face until his eyes widened a
bit. “O-oh, you’ve never …?”
 
“No.”
 
“Not even … you know you can do that with women right?”
 
“Never done it.”
 
“You know you can do it with yourself right--”
 
“Stiles.”
 
Stiles whimpered, taking a moment to catch his breath before speaking again.
“Okay. Uh. You know how I said I’ve had stuff up my butt before?”
 
Derek rolled his eyes. “How could I forget?”
 
“Yeah well, that includes dildos, which are definitely bigger than pens, so I
know a thing or two about fitting big things in there. Though I don’t think
I’ve taken anything as monstrous as --”
 
“To the point, Stiles.”
 
Stiles grunted, shoving at Derek to get him off of him. “Get on your back. I’ll
handle this.”
 
Derek’s eyebrows shot up, but he did as he was told, flopping onto his back and
squirming to get comfortable as he watched Stiles crawl over to his bag. He
returned with an open bottle of lube and was already smearing it over his own
fingers as he moved to straddle Derek, pausing to stare and whimper at him
before shaking his head a bit.
 
“Okay. Yeah. I’m going to stretch myself, and you can help too, and then I’m
going to take that enormous, thick, delicious, juicy--”
 
“Oh my god Stiles,” Derek groaned, resisting the urge to facepalm. “Can we
please stop talking about my dick. And my ass, for that matter?”
 
“-- and once it’s all snug in my ass, we’re going to flip over and you’re going
to fuck me until I can’t walk for a week, okay grumpy bear? Okay.” Stiles
smiled cheerfully, patting Derek’s face with his non-lubed hand and earning
himself an impressive glare. “Oh stop. You love this,” Stiles grinned,
squirming as he leaned forward and kissed his pout, melting it into a more
intimate kiss.
 
Stiles whimpered against him and squirmed again, making Derek slide his hand
down and discover that, yep, he already had his fingers in his ass. Derek
shivered, undeniably aroused by this thought as he felt around and rubbed said
ass almost as curiously as Stiles had been touching his. Stiles smirked against
him as they continued kissing, pulling away with a wet noise and panting softly
just above him. “I feel pretty good about knowing more than you do about
something regarding sex,” Stiles panted smugly, earning a rough lip-tug from
Derek.
 
“Not for long,” Derek grunted, rubbing a finger around Stiles’ stretched hole
and causing him to yelp softly as he pressed back against it. “And when you’re
on your back and begging for me? I’ll have you around my little finger,” Derek
growled, smirking deviously and nibbling at his lip again.
 
Stiles’ entire body gave a shudder as he gasped, his free hand curling on
Derek’s chest. “O-oh my god you can’t just saythings like that, Derek,” he
whined.
 
Derek rumbled happily, grabbing the lube and smearing it on his own fingers
before nudging them against Stiles’. The human whimpered and pulled his own
out, lowering his chest to Derek’s and spreading his knees, wriggling anxiously
as Derek leaned in for a heated kiss. He slowly pressed two fingers against
Stiles’ pliable hole, grunting when they were able to press inside more easily
than he’d anticipated. He shivered at Stiles’ low moan, at the way he bucked
back against him, eager for more.
 
By the time he’d pressed them in fully and had started to thrust them in and
out slowly, Stiles was a whining, shivering, writhing mess on his stomach. Each
thrust and curl of his fingers brought out a long, slow groan from Stiles’
chest which tapered off into a high whimper, his hands grabbing at Derek’s face
as his mouth kissed all over it, hips rocking rhythmically. Derek wasn’t sure
what aroused him more - feeling Stiles’ muscles around him, squeezing and
rocking and promising amazing things for his dick, or feeling and listening to
the way the human squirmed on top of him, panting and moaning and oh so eager
for more. While he was new to this, it gave everything an extra layer of
excitement as he moved his fingers in different ways to see what kinds of
reactions he got, and none of them disappointed him.
 
Derek groaned every time Stiles brushed against his cock, still hard and
pressed tight against his own stomach. He had his free arm wrapped around
Stiles’ lower back, holding him close as their bodies slid and stuck together,
sweat prickling all over as waves of heat overcame them both. They shared more
breaths than not, panting against each other, kissing sloppily and breathing
each other’s names. After he’d worked a third finger inside, Stiles was already
begging him for more, dragging fingers down his chest and licking under his
ear, rocking his ass back against him like he was already trying to fuck
himself on him.
 
“Jesus christ, Stiles,” Derek breathed, sucking in a loud breath through his
nose and trying to let it out steadily to keep himself under control. He wasn’t
in any danger of wolfing out, but he would be in danger of getting a little too
excited too quickly if he didn’t watch himself. Stiles’ moans and eager
movements were starting to get the best of him, and he was quickly grabbing at
the lube once more, this time slicking up his cock.
 
“I need your cock Derek; holy fuck if I don’t get it inside me soon I’m going
to freak out,” Stiles whined, still practically clawing at his chest and
rocking against him as he waited impatiently.
 
“I guess this is a bad time to tell you something, then?” Derek asked
cautiously, receiving a loud and pained groan.
 
“Whaaaaaaat?” Stiles whimpered, pouting at him as he breathed quickly through
his mouth.
 
Derek frowned as he stroked himself, slick with lube. “It won’t affect you but
I thought I should let you know anyway. I have a knot,” he mumbled, averting
his eyes and wondering how he hadn’t thought about bringing this up earlier. It
just wasn’t something that came up all that often.
 
“A wha-- … Like a dog?” Stiles asked incredulously, pausing for a moment.
 
“No, like an elephant,” Derek snarked, rolling his eyes and looking up at
Stiles.
 
“Don’t give me that,” Stiles huffed, squirming his hips on Derek. “Why hasn’t
Scott said anything?”
 
“He’s not a born wolf?”
 
“Oh …”
 
Derek shifted slightly, impatience clear in his voice. “Like I said, it won’t
affect you. I just won’t be able to thrust as deeply when it starts swelling,”
he grunted, but still looked back up to Stiles to make sure he was okay with
this before proceeding. This was truly the worst time to bring it up, but … he
also wasn’t about to fuck Stiles without letting him know of his dick’s extra,
possibly horrifying feature.
 
Stiles stared at him, licked his lips, and then squirmed again. “I want it
inside. I want the whole Derek Hale package,” he asserted, even giving a firm
nod.
 
Derek’s brow furrowed. “Stiles, it’s huge, you’re not taking it unprepared.”
 
“I don’t care, I want my cherry popped okay?”
 
“Your entire ass will be popped, so unless you literally don’t want to walk for
the next week you’re not--”
 
“Oh my god. It’s not like I have to actually get it in there, right? It just …
swells? Inside?”
 
Derek huffed impatiently, absolutely not believing that he was having this
conversation right now. He squirmed uncomfortably, his cock practically begging
him to just get on with it. “Well, yeah, but it would still probably be
uncomfortable. And --” He shook his head, frowning. “It’s not just that. It’s
... personal.”
 
“Personal?”
 
Stiles eyes roamed his face in a way that made Derek feel horribly exposed, and
yet it wasn’t altogether unfamiliar. Derek took a deep breath and nodded. “I’d
be literally tied to you for at least fifteen minutes.”
 
Stiles tilted his head slightly, the wheels almost visibly turning now that
they both weren’t quite as blinded by pure arousal anymore. “And since you’re
quite happy to be stuck to me for way longer than that in bed to begin with,
I’m guessing it’s not just a physical tying,” he said slowly, watching for
Derek’s reaction.
 
Derek swallowed, struggling not to avert his eyes. Instead he just nodded.
 
Stiles lowered himself, huffing softly and stroking a hand against Derek’s
cheek as he leaned in closely. “Like I said earlier, I care about you. I uh …
wouldn’t mind being tied to you in more than one way.” He licked his own lips
almost nervously before just breathing out his nose and pressing it against
Derek’s gently.
 
Derek stared, taking in his words and letting out a sigh of his own when their
noses pressed together, his hands slowly rubbing Stiles’ hips. Despite feeling
anxious and self-conscious at first, he really couldn’t help but relax at the
touch. At Stiles’ reassuring words. He knew this wasn’t just a fling, it wasn’t
just that they couldn’t keep their eyes off each other. Before any of this,
before anything had happened they’d forged some kind of emotional bond anyway.
Bonding through misery, yes, but it was deep, and far more personal than close
sex.
 
With that realization, Derek nodded and relaxed muscles he hadn’t realized were
tense. He was so used to throwing walls between himself and others that he’d
just done it instinctively without thinking. But they were already close. They
did already have that understanding, and Derek truly did trust Stiles. He had
trust in Stiles. Derek whimpered softly at this thought, opening his eyes only
to see warm, golden brown ones staring back at him, crinkling at the corners
with a smile. Derek swallowed, overcome with warmth and an intense desire to be
even closer.
 
He leaned up and captured Stiles in a warm, tender kiss, keeping his eyes open
just enough to keep that contact. It was so intense and so intimate that he
shivered with emotion but couldn’t bear the thought of ever, ever pulling away.
The kiss quickly deepened, and Derek let out a pleased rumble as he felt
fingers in his hair, at once petting him and pulling his head closer. He
gripped Stiles’ hips tightly before sliding his hands lower, groping and
spreading his ass, prompting Stiles to reach down and try to angle Derek’s cock
against it.
 
It was soon apparent that this wasn’t the best angle, so the two reluctantly
parted, Stiles sitting up and angling the head of Derek’s cock against himself
properly. He gulped, and slowly started moving down, pressing it inside himself
and shivering as it began filling him. Derek gasped, keeping himself completely
still to let Stiles take as much and as slowly as he felt he needed to, but it
wasn’t easy. He stroked Stiles’ thighs, especially when he saw the human wince,
and kept his breath steady as he watched.
 
“Holy fuck, Derek,” Stiles whined, barely halfway down and pausing to collect
himself. He panted softly and squirmed with obvious discomfort, and his eyes
soon followed Derek’s to Stiles’ flagging erection. Stiles shrugged, grabbing
the lube and reaching back to apply it before he began sinking down once more.
“Yeah, if you haven’t noticed you have a fucking behemoth of a dick so it’s
going to be painful and unsexy for a while until I get used to it,” he smirked,
lifting himself slightly and sinking down even further, letting out a groan.
 
Derek bit his lip, muffling a low noise of his own before he nodded. “If it’s
too much, you let me know, okay?”
 
“Yeah, yeah,” Stiles huffed, slowly rocking his hips as he adjusted to and was
able to move a little easier.
 
Derek frowned. “Don’t ‘yeah yeah’ me,” he huffed in response, sliding a hand up
and slowly rubbing it over Stiles’ shoulder. “I care too, you know.”
 
Stiles paused, and his face softened a little as he brought a hand up to pat
Derek’s. “I know,” he said with a hint of a smile. “But my ass is probably more
stubborn than I am, and that’s saying something.” He wriggled a little, letting
out a soft noise. “It’s already starting to feel better. Nnh, I can’t believe I
have Derek Hale’s dick inside me.”
 
Derek slid his hand back down to rest on Stiles’ thighs, groaning and rolling
his eyes exaggeratedly. Stiles smirked at him cheekily, and leaned forward to
rub his hands along Derek’s impressively haired chest, feeling over his muscles
and exploring curiously. Derek merely slid his hands up and down Stiles’
thighs, still trying to keep himself from moving as tight heat enveloped his
cock perfectly.
 
Slowly, Stiles began moving more. He stayed mostly upright, but occasionally
leaned down for a kiss or to nuzzle at his chest. Sparks of pleasure lit
through Derek’s body as the human got more accustomed to him and was able to
actually start thrusting, pulling high whimpers out of Stiles’ flushed lips.
Derek couldn’t tear his eyes away from him, watching how his hips rolled
fluidly once he found a rhythm he was comfortable with, watching how his eyes
lidded heavily and he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as he gazed right
back. Derek felt a shudder of desire run through his whole body when they
locked lust-filled eyes, his fingers curling against Stiles’ hips in an effort
to pull him closer but not interfere with his rhythm.
 
It was amazing to see Stiles go from nervous and anxious to gaining confidence
as he discovered the wonders of riding a real cock. Nothing was sexier than
this moment of watching him move more and more, rocking faster, leaning back
just the right amount to hit a certain spot and crying out Derek’s name with a
throaty moan. He only got more riled up as he bounced on Derek’s dick, grabbing
at his chest and leaning forward to rock his whole body, sliding off most of
his cock before sinking back onto it with a loud, shuddering breath.
 
Derek felt helpless to his pleasure in the best of ways, holding Stiles steady
and panting heavily as small whimpers escaped his lips. He was getting off on
watching Stiles just as much as he was on feeling him ride his cock, and almost
didn’t want to move once he felt like he could do it comfortably. Stiles was
already doing such a good job of it, and there was something very sexy about
seeing him fuck himself on Derek. He did eventually start rocking his hips up
in time with him, spreading his knees and placing his heels firmly on the bed
to get more leverage. He rolled up to meet Stiles’ downthrust, grinding his
hips against his ass and making them both gasp for breath at the sharp
pleasure.
 
It wasn’t long before Stiles was trembling and writhing on top of him, losing
his rhythm somewhat as he clawed at Derek’s chest. “Der-- Derek, I need you,”
he whimpered, arching his back as Derek rocked up against him. “I need you
fucking me; I need you pounding my ass until I can’t see properly anymore. I
need to feel you all over me. Please …”
 
Derek swallowed thickly, nodding quickly and sliding his hands up to hold his
sides, stopping their movement. He would’ve done anything for Stiles in that
moment, at the look on his face and the tone in his voice. The pure need was
written in every part of him and Derek wanted desperately to fulfill it in
every way. “Y-yeah, here …”
 
He gently guided them to switch places, though that unfortunately included him
pulling out from Stiles entirely. The human whined and complained as he settled
on his back, grabbing at Derek and trying to tug him close again, with no
resistance from Derek. He needed to be just as  close just as desperately, and
after carefully pressing inside him again, he settled between Stiles’ legs and
tugged him down until they were about as close as they could possibly fit.
 
Stiles sighed contentedly and relaxed as Derek filled him and wrapped his huge
body around him, sliding his arms around Derek’s neck and pulling him in for a
heated kiss as he tangled his fingers in black hair. Derek settled into a
steady rhythm, rocking his entire body fluidly against Stiles, more stable and
confident for obvious reasons. He was comfortable like this, and couldn’t stop
himself from vibrating a low, inhuman rumble of contentment from his chest.
Wrapped around someone he trusted surprisingly deeply, feeling their warm
bodies together and listening to the soft, pleasured noises of his lover all
hit Derek in just the right places.
 
He dragged his lips up Stiles’ neck, pressing them together in a slow kiss just
under his ear. Stiles let out a breathy moan and tilted his face to meet his
mouth, pulling him into a slow, intimate kiss as they rocked together. When
their lips parted, they didn’t dare move away, instead hovering so close that
they shared a few heated breaths before capturing each other’s mouths again.
 
Derek groaned as fingers trailed through his hair, sliding down his neck and
rubbing the base. He ducked down to suck at Stiles’ throat, pulling away with a
wet noise only to repeat the gesture just below it, huffing hot breaths against
his skin. He slid his hands along Stiles’ chest, feeling him arch up into the
touch with a whimper, and revelled in the way he could make Stiles’ body bend
and bow at his whim. It seemed so pliable, yet sturdy as Derek’s hot, wide
hands roamed the expanse of mole-speckled skin, committing every bump and dip
to memory as best he could.
 
They were wrapped around each other so tightly as they rocked together that
heat overwhelmed them more than it ever had, and yet that only seemed to make
the moment more tangible as sweat-slick skin slid together perfectly. Stiles
seemed to be entirely at a loss for coherent sentences at this point, his eyes
rolling with pleasure and his expression hazy unless it was trying to focus on
a sloppy kiss. He breathed and moaned out half-words, mostly parts of Derek’s
name which slid down the werewolf’s spine like molten honey.
 
Derek nudged his face against Stiles’, nuzzling him and licking at his jaw once
as he watched his lover gasp and whimper in time with a powerful thrust. His
pulse was beating rapidly and had been ever since he’d really gotten going on
Derek’s cock. Everything about him said that he was completely lost in the heat
and pleasure, and by the way that his moans seemed to get higher and higher,
was probably close to finishing. Derek idly wondered if Stiles wouldn’t break
if he got any more aroused.
 
Derek shifted slightly, angling his hips so that he could thrust as fast as he
dared. Stiles’ moans turned into high-pitched cries as he clutched tightly at
Derek, begging him with broken words and hitched breaths to not stop, to not
ever stop or let him go. Derek rumbled and tightened his arms around the human,
rocking into him quickly and forcefully, moaning and gasping as he felt his own
orgasm start to build. “St-Stiles, my knot …” he wheezed, huffing hotly against
Stiles’ ear.
 
“G-give it! I w-want it, Derek!” Stiles cried out, squirming his hips and
squeezing his knees together, pressing them against Derek’s thighs.
 
Derek moaned and pressed tightly against him, thrusting even faster but keeping
his movements shallow as his knot began to swell. Stiles gaped and sucked in
hurried breaths as it grew, pressing against his inner walls and likely putting
pressure directly on his prostate. Derek could feel the moment Stiles’ orgasm
crashed over him, the human’s body surging up against his and going rigid
briefly before he was bucking wildly underneath him, fingers digging painfully
into his back. Stiles cried out high and loud, making Derek wince a little at
the shock to his ears, but more than anything it drove his own orgasm as he
felt his lover writhing and grinding his twitching cock up against his belly.
 
Derek’s rhythm faltered as intense pleasure washed over him. He muffled a loud
cry into Stiles’ shoulder as he bucked freely against him, held close by his
knot but still given enough freedom to move his hips desperately as he rode out
the ecstasy. He sucked in broken, noisy breaths as he moved, his muscles
burning with the exertion but not nearly deterring him from his frantic humping
as his cock spurted what felt like every last drop of semen in his body.
 
As he began to slow and calm, he felt a very deep and instinctual satisfaction
settle over him at the feeling of his knot lodged so snugly inside Stiles,
keeping most of his seed locked in with it. Even though they had literally zero
chance of conception, something about acting it out and being bonded so closely
with another made his wolf want to howl with contentment. Instead, Derek
settled for slumping against Stiles and shifting so that his full weight wasn’t
on him.
 
His mind went entirely blank for a few moments, and he wondered if he hadn’t
dozed off for a little while. It seemed that Stiles had, because his mind
finally focused when he heard a soft whimper next to his ear, causing him to
look over in time to see bleary, golden eyes blink open.
 
“Der … M’oh my god,” he slurred. “Th’t was incredible,” he murmured, weakly
tightening his arms around Derek and pushing their faces together. Derek was
all too happy to return the gesture.
 
“How does the knot feel?” he asked quietly, kissing his cheek.
 
“Big,” Stiles replied sleepily, shifting a little and grunting. “Too big. But
it’s okay. Worth it.”
 
Derek nodded, lining Stiles’ jaw slowly with kisses and nuzzling their noses
together. He brought a hand up and stroked Stiles’ hair, kissing his lips
softly before tilting up and kissing his forehead. He rumbled quietly and
huffed gently against his neck, starting to press affectionate kisses there as
his other hand stroked Stiles’ side, and when his eyes darted up to meet his
lover’s again, he saw a cheeky smile there.
 
“I didn’t know you were so cuddly after sex,” Stiles grinned, leaning in to rub
their noses together.
 
Derek grumbled a little. “I’m not. Uh. Not this much anyway.” He shifted
slightly, and then let out a soft breath.
 
“Is it because of the knot?” Stiles asked curiously, their eyes meeting briefly
again as Derek nodded slowly.
 
“Yeah.”
 
Stiles hummed softly, sliding his hand up Derek’s back and slowly tracing
swirls into his skin, feeling over where he seemed to think Derek’s tattoo was
without seeing it. Derek laid his head against Stiles’ shoulder, closing his
eyes and basking in the attention as fingers threaded through his hair. After a
moment, he felt Stiles let out a silent laugh, and peered up at him with his
brows raised.
 
“Can’t you hear that? Well, I feel it more than I hear it,” Stiles smirked,
kissing the end of his nose playfully.
 
“Hear what?”
 
“You’re purring, Derek.” The purring stopped abruptly as Derek realized what
Stiles was talking about, his mildly shocked expression seeming to amuse Stiles
to the point of laughing and ruffling his hair affectionately. “You didn’t
notice? I didn’t even know you could do that.”
 
Derek swallowed, laying his head down again. “No, it’s just … been a long
time.”
 
Stiles hummed softly, scratching behind his ears which caused Derek to melt
even more against him, his eyes closing halfway rather lazily. They didn’t
exchange any more words even though Stiles was very likely intensely curious
about every aspect of what had just happened; both seemed much happier just
basking in the afterglow for now.
 
Eventually Derek relaxed enough that the purring returned. It really had been a
long time - he only ever did it when he felt completely relaxed and at peace,
which was something so foreign to him lately that he’d been entirely shocked to
discover he was doing it.
 
But it seemed fitting in this moment, and he didn’t try to stop it again,
vibrating the soft, bestial rumble with every outward breath, his mind for once
entirely blank except for the complete and total warmth and contentment he felt
with Stiles.
 
===============================================================================
 
The two men sat leaned up against the wall with plates of cold breakfast in
their hands. Their shoulders touched as they scooped hashbrowns into their
mouths, and neither one could stop casting glances over at the other.
 
Stiles was the first to speak, grinning as he wriggled happily next to Derek.
“I’m not a virgin anymore,” he beamed, nibbling on a piece of bacon.
 
“I noticed,” Derek smirked, cutting a piece of syrupy pancake to pop into his
mouth.
 
“Do I get a jacket for joining the club? Is it leather?”
 
Derek rolled his eyes and kept eating.
 
Stiles swallowed a bite of bacon and then squirmed again. “So about that
purring.”
 
Derek’s brow raised as he glanced over at Stiles, taking a sip of orange juice
before replying. “What about it?”
 
“Uh. How do you do it? What is it? Why does it only happen when you’re happy?
Why does it make you sound like a big lion instead of a wolf?”
 
“Jesus, Stiles.” Derek blinked slowly, trying to wrap his mind around the
questions. It was a bit hard to focus still, especially when the scent of the
loft was full of sex and happiness and bacon. He kind of wanted to just lay
here all day and keep basking. “I don’t know how or why it happens. It just
does.” He cleared his throat, took a small breath and then let it rumble out
from deep in his chest, producing the noise for Stiles. The human seemed
completely fascinated with it.
 
“That is so cool!” he exclaimed, grinning widely and leaning over. He pressed
his ear to Derek’s chest, which the werewolf took as a cue to make the noise
again. Stiles wriggled happily and pulled back once he’d gotten his fill,
popping another piece of bacon into his mouth. “I must make you feel really
comfortable if you were making that noise without realizing it.”
 
Derek looked down at his plate and nodded, busying himself with another piece
of pancake. Stiles lapsed into silence for a moment before speaking once more,
his voice soft.
 
“Speaking of which … All that cuddling you did … was that really just. The
knot? Making you feel that way?” he asked carefully, suddenly looking very busy
with his own plate of food as Derek looked over.
 
Derek paused, frowning slightly before he shook his head. “I mean, it does make
me feel really satisfied when I’m … tied, but …” He cleared his throat a bit
and looked down at his breakfast. “I wanted to do those things. I like physical
touch. If you haven’t noticed.”
 
He felt Stiles lean against him, felt a face nuzzle up to his neck and smile
against him. “You’re just a big, cuddly bear aren’t you?”
 
Derek rolled his eyes, but put his knife down to slide an arm around Stiles,
pulling him even closer instead of protesting. Stiles squeaked happily and
wrapped his own arms around Derek’s middle, humming and nuzzling his face
against his chest. Derek couldn’t help but smile, using his other hand to
stroke through his hair before he pressed a kiss to the top of his head.
 
“I could definitely get used to this. Big cuddly bear. That purrs like a cat.
And howls like a wolf.” He paused, and then pulled back with a wide grin. “And
is hungry like one too, if that stomach growling has anything to say.”
 
“I can eat like this,” Derek replied, keeping his arm around Stiles while he
scooped up hashbrowns with the fork in his right hand. Stiles grabbed his own
plate and curled up against him, bringing his knees up to balance the plate on.
 
With Stiles tucked against him, Derek ate in peace, and without him realizing
it again, the purring returned once more.
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