Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/12869745.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      GOT7
  Relationship:
      Kunpimook_Bhuwakul_|_BamBam/Im_Jaebum_|_JB, Kunpimook_Bhuwakul_|_BamBam/
      Mark_Tuan, Kunpimook_Bhuwakul_|_BamBam/Kim_Yugyeom
  Character:
      Kunpimook_Bhuwakul_|_BamBam, Im_Jaebum_|_JB, Mark_Tuan, Kim_Yugyeom
  Additional Tags:
      Rape/Non-con_Elements, Bullying, Physical_Abuse, Sexual_Assault,
      Manipulation, Self-Esteem_Issues, Other_Additional_Tags_to_Be_Added,
      Eating_Disorders, Emotional_Manipulation
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-11-30 Updated: 2017-12-19 Chapters: 5/? Words: 11607
****** Timid ******
by Sunwoop
Summary
     Bambam is submissive and easily pushed around by other people. That's
     exactly what Mark and Jaebum are after.
     So what happens when they find the perfect victim to play with?
Notes
     If you're sensitive, don't read this.
     If you're into it, enjoy.
     : )
***** 1 *****
Bambam entered the classroom.
He was a new student in the school and today was his first day. When he stood
at the front of the room he felt everyone’s eyes on him, making him feel self-
conscious. The teacher explained how he was a new student but Bambam wasn’t
paying attention to what he said, instead he was looking around the room at all
the new faces, but his eyes stopped on a male in the back corner. The male was
attractive, his strong gaze made Bambam feel intimidated.
“Well, are you going to introduce yourself?” The teacher broke Bambam out of
his trance. Bambam blinked. “U-Um yes... I’m K-Kunpimook Bhuwakul, but if
that’s too difficult you can just call me Bambam. I hope we can get along” he
introduced himself shyly then bowed. “Very well, you can go sit over there” the
teacher pointed at a chair in the 2nd front row of the classroom.
Bambam walked to the chair and sat down next to a tall male. They met eyes and
the other male smiled, which made Bambam kindly smile in return. “Hey, I’m Kim
Yugyeom. I hope we can get along” Yugyeom introduced himself. Bambam nodded. “I
hope we can too…” he smiled shyly.
Suddenly Bambam felt like he was being watched, so he turned around. He saw the
guy from earlier looking right at him. Feeling flustered, he turned back
towards the front. Yugyeom must have noticed because he spoke up, but in a
hushed tone, “Hey… I saw you looking at Jaebum. I recommend that you stay away
from him”. Bambam looked at Yugyeom, about to ask why but the teacher
interrupted. “No distracting the new student Yugyeom” he scolded and Yugyeom
quickly apologised.
_____
Bambam also shared the next class with this Jaebum guy but not Yugyeom. He felt
awkward since every time he tried to sneak a glance at Jaebum he was already
looking at him. He decided it was probably just a strange coincidence and
decided to ignore it.
_____
Class had ended, it was lunch time but Bambam didn’t know where to go. The
school was big, so he didn’t really know his way around, he only found his last
class because Yugyeom offered to take him to it.
After some senseless wondering Bambam found himself outside. ‘Maybe the
entrance to the cafeteria is somewhere out here’ Bambam hoped as he walked
around a corner. His body froze when he saw Jaebum leaning against the brick
wall in the shade, smoking a cigarette.
Before he could leave without being seen, Jaebum looked up and saw him.
“U-um…” Bambam fidgeted with his fingers. All Bambam’s courage to speak
disappeared when Jaebum strolled up to him. “Bambam was it?” Jaebum questioned,
voice sounding emotionless. Bambam nodded, unconsciously taking a step back. He
could smell the cigarette scent coming off him. “You shouldn’t be smoking”
Bambam mumbled. “Hmm?” Jaebum hummed and leaned closer to him. “Speak louder. I
can’t hear you.”
“I-I said you shouldn’t be s-smoking” Bambam attempted to speak louder causing
Jaebum to scoff. “Why?”
“B-because you can get sick…” Bambam explained while looking down. Suddenly, he
felt warm fingers grip his chin and tilt his head up. Bambam blushed as he
realised the small proximity between the two faces. Jaebum’s lips parted then
he blew the smoke into Bambam’s face, making him step away and cough.
“Don’t do that!” Bambam raised his voice, getting angered. Jaebum snickered and
pushed Bambam’s shoulder, making him stumble back and nearly loose his balance.
“You’re so sensitive, you’ll be fun to play with…” Jaebum whispered the last
part but Bambam think he heard what he said but wasn’t sure if he heard
correctly. “W-what…?”
Bambam suddenly remembered what Yugyeom had said earlier about staying away
from Jaebum realised he should leave. “Uh I just remembered I… uh have to g-go
meet my friend...” he turned around to leave but felt a strong grip on his
wrist preventing him from going any further. Bambam looked back at Jaebum
nervously. “Do you even know where the cafeteria is?” Jaebum asked. “Um… yeah…”
Bambam lied which made Jaebum raise his eyebrows. “No…” he admitted.
Jaebum rolled his eyes and started walking, Bambam’s wrist still in his grip
causing him to be dragged along. “Are you taking me to the cafeteria…?” Bambam
questioned timidly. “Yeah” Jaebum smiled, making Bambam feel suspicious.
Jaebum dragged Bambam through unfamiliar locations and stopped once he reached
a door. “This is it” Jaebum said, finally letting go of Bambam’s wrist. Bambam
stepped closer to the door and opened it to discover an empty classroom. He
looked up at Jaebum, confused. “This isn’t the- “
Bambam was harshly pushed onto the floor of the classroom and heard the door
slam shut behind him. “W-wait!” Bambam quickly climbed to his feet and tried to
open the door but was met with resistance. “Please open the door!” Bambam
pleaded whilst trying to open the door but he couldn’t unlock it.
He heard a quiet chuckle and the sound of footsteps moving further away.
“Please…” Bambam pounded on the door weakly, tears starting to spill out of his
eyes. He turned around and approached the windows. He was on the 2nd floor so
he couldn’t escape out the windows. Not knowing what to do he sat down in the
corner of the room, holding his legs close to his chest as he cried into his
knees.
He hoped that someone would come let him out, he wanted Yugyeom to come help
him but it’s unlikely he’d find him unless he had a class here next. It’d be
embarrassing but he’d rather be found crying then having to stay here alone. It
scares him.
Time passed and Bambam checked his phone. His battery was low, but he decided
he shouldn’t call anyone yet since school hadn’t ended yet, who would he even
call though? The emergency services? This doesn’t count as an emergency, right?
He sighed.
As time passed he tried to open the door multiple times, he even tried to call
out with his quiet voice, but not once did anyone come by. He took another look
at the classroom and realised it looks kind of old. Was this an abandoned
classroom? Bambam started to think what if no one let him out. Would he have to
stay here in the dark?
At that thought, tears started to spill again and Bambam hid himself in the
corner once again.
______
Hours passed, school was now over, and he felt scared and hopeless. He played
with his sleeves sadly for a few minutes but then he heard footsteps. He
instantly looked up towards the door and stood up. “Hello?” Bambam spoke out,
hoping the person or people would hear him.
He didn’t receive a response, but the footsteps stopped. “Can you please open
the door?” Bambam said almost desperately. He heard the door unlock and his
heart pace quickened, he’ll be able to go home now.
The door opened, revealing Jaebum with another attractive male. “Good boy, you
stayed here” Jaebum praised mockingly. Bambam didn’t know how to respond since
he didn’t have a choice. “Looks like he’s been crying” the unfamiliar male
stated. Bambam looked down at the floor, feeling embarrassed.
“Can I go home please...” Bambam asked. “No” Jaebum answered making Bambam look
up at him, confused. The two males walked into the room and closed the door
behind them. Alarm bells where going off and Bambam decided he needs to leave.
He tried to run around the two to reach the door, just to be roughly grabbed by
Jaebum making him whimper in fear. Jaebum let go then pushed Bambam into a
desk, causing him to hit his head on the edge of the table and moan in pain
“Look how weak he is Mark, isn’t it cute?” Jaebum smirked. “Yeah” the other
male which Bambam now assumed to be Mark replied.
Bambam didn’t understand what he did wrong. This is his first day here so why
is he being targeted like this. He feels like no matter what school he goes to
he will always be bullied. He snapped out of his thoughts when he felt a sharp
kick to his side which made him cry out. “Let me hear you cry Bambam… I want to
hear you beg” Jaebum grinned. He sounded sadistic and it made Bambam’s stomach
twist in fear. Bambam felt another kick to his side and he curled up in pain,
trying to use his arms to protect his body. “Please stop” Bambam cried. “Wow,
you’re already fulfilling my requests and I’ve only kicked you twice” Jaebum
snickered.
He grabbed Bambam by his shirt and lifted him onto the table causing his shirt
to stretch a little. He looked at Mark and saw that he was recording with his
phone. Bambam’s shirt was lifted causing Bambam panic and try to pull his shirt
down. “Don’t fight me unless you want to be hit more, do you think you could
take that?” Jaebum threatened. Bambam shook his head and moved his hands away
shakily, letting Jaebum do what he wants.
Jaebum inspected his bare skin, fingers tracing slowly over the newly formed
bruises. He looked like he was admiring the artwork he had just created. Bambam
got goose bumps from the gentle touch on his sensitive skin. “You’re anorexic,
aren’t you?” Jaebum inquired, looking into Bambam’s watery eyes. His question
was met with silence which made Jaebum smile. He pushed Bambam off the table
making him groan. “That’s cute, let’s go mark.”
Mark stopped the recording and walked out of the room with Jaebum, leaving
Bambam curled up on the floor in pain, crying.
___
When Bambam finally found the energy to move, he got up and walked home to his
small apartment. “I’m home…” Bambam whispered out into the empty house. He
locked the door and went to his bedroom and collapsed on his bed, before he
knew it he was out like a light.
***** 2 *****
When Bambam woke up he could feel the soreness on his side from the kicks he
received from Jaebum yesterday. He groaned as he got out of his bed and went to
the bathroom.
He stripped free of his clothes and examined his body in the mirror. He had two
large bruises from being kicked by Jaebum and some other minor bruises just
from being knocked around. You could also see a lot of his bones sticking out
of his skin from how thin he was, he was also unnaturally pale. ‘I look so
ugly…’ he thought to himself as he stared at his reflection.
Bambam showered and got ready for school. He wore pale blue skinny jeans and a
black oversized hoodie with black converse. He had a very low self-esteem, so
he liked to wear more stylish clothes and decorate himself to make himself feel
better about how he looks. That’s why he has dyed hair.
He walked to school and as soon as he walked through the front gates of the
school he heard a familiar voice call out to him. “Hey Bambam!” he looked
around to find the source of the voice and saw Yugyeom running towards him. “Hi
Yugyeom” Bambam smiled faintly once his new friend met his side. “Hi, where’d
you go yesterday? I couldn’t find you” Yugyeom questioned. “Um s-sorry… I felt
sick, so I had to go home early” Bambam lied and played with his fingers.
Yugyeom placed a comforting hand on Bambam’s shoulder. “Hey, its fine, are you
feeling better now?” Yugyeom asked. “Y-Yeah I’m okay now” Bambam lied again.
“I’m glad you feel better”
Bambam feels happy that Yugyeom talks to him, he thought he wouldn’t make any
friends in the new school. As he walked Bambam looked over to the spot where he
first interacted with Jaebum yesterday. Once again, he saw Jaebum leaning on
the wall, smoking. They locked eyes Jaebum grinned and waved at him. Bambam was
hit with fear and looked down at the ground. Jaebum is probably going to hurt
him again.
“Bambam? Are you sure you’re okay now?” Yugyeom asked. Bambam looked up and
nodded. Yugyeom wasn’t very convinced but he decided to let it slide.
___
Bambam and Yugyeom sat next to each other in first period and everything was
going okay until Bambam felt something hit him in the back of the head. He
turned around and saw a paper ball on the ground and realised the culprit was
Jaebum. He turned back around and felt embarrassed since multiple people
witnessed him being hit in the head by a paper ball.
A few minutes passed, and he was hit with a round of paper balls. He was
confused because it didn’t come in the direction of Jaebum and there was too
many for one person to of thrown at once. He looked to his left and saw a group
of 3 boys laughing at him quietly, he assumed that it was them that threw them
this time.
Bambam raised his hand. “Um Sir May I please use the bathroom” he asked and was
given permission. When he was walking out the room he saw Jaebum on his phone
but didn’t think anything of it. He got to the bathroom and stared at himself
in the mirror. ‘No wonder I’m getting picked on… Look how ugly I am’ Bambam
spiralled into self-loathing thoughts.
He must’ve been in such deep thought he didn’t realize that someone else had
entered the bathroom until he saw another person in the mirror behind him. He
squeaked and jump back in surprise. He recognised that the person was Mark and
wasn’t sure if he should be scared or not since he didn’t really do anything to
him yesterday. Mark started to walk towards him, so Bambam did the opposite and
walked backwards away from him until his back hit the wall. “P-please don’t
hurt me…” Bambam pleaded while attempting to hide himself behind his arms. He
felt Mark grab his wrists and move them down so there was nothing between them
now.
Mark could feel Bambam shaking which caused him to smile. “You don’t want me to
hurt you?” Mark asked, letting go of one of Bambam’s wrists and instead playing
with Bambam’s hair. This deeply confused Bambam. “Um… no?” Bambam answered,
slowly trying to move to the side away from Mark’s touch. Mark didn’t say
anything, instead he moved his hand away from Bambam’s head and grabbed the
bottom of Bambam’s hoodie, pulling it up to inspect the damage that Jaebum
caused yesterday. Bambam blushed, he feels embarrassed by the fact that he’s
too weak to stop people from just doing what they want to him.
Mark rubbed his thumb over the painful looking bruise, then he suddenly pushed
his thumb onto the bruise, making Bambam cry in pain and grab Mark’s wrist to
attempt to pull it away. “Stop!” Bambam whimpered as he tried to pry Mark’s
hand off.
Mark stopped and pulled Bambam over to sink. Bambam tried to pull away from
Mark’s grip but failed to do so. Mark turned the tap on. “You look a bit hot,
hopefully this will cool you down” Mark said emotionlessly.
Bambam was about to plead but got cut off when he felt Mark’s hand grab a
fistful of his hair and shove his face into the sink. The cold water quickly
soaked his hair and the water covered his face, preventing him from breathing.
He desperately squirmed in Mark’s hold, frantic for air.
He thought he was going to pass out but then he felt his head being pulled back
up. He sharply inhaled the air and breathed heavily. He caught a glimpse of
Mark’s facial expression, he looked fascinated, content like he was doing some
sort of science experiment. “Mark! P-Please- “face back into the water.
This time was even worse because he didn’t have enough time to properly
breathe, he was short of air and felt so desperate for it. He was held under
until Mark noticed his struggling was slowing down. Once he was pulled out he
was pushed onto the floor. He breathed heavily, trying to inhale as much air as
he could. Mark grinned as he watched, finding so much bliss in Bambam’s
suffering.
Mark kneeled next to Bambam and put his hand out to Bambam’s head causing him
to flinch back in fear. “Shh… It’s okay” Mark comforted and proceeded to pet
Bambam’s head.
Bambam was confused, Mark was the one who just made him suffer and now he’s
touching him reassuringly and telling him it’s okay? Not knowing what to do,
Bambam just cried into his wet sleeves while Mark gently stroked his head.
After finally calming down and being able to breathe properly, he looked up at
Mark. “I-I need to go back to c-class” he stuttered and stood up shakily. He
started to hurry out of the bathroom when Mark grabbed him by the hair, yanking
him back causing Bambam to yelp. “Just wanted to say, hope you had fun. I did”
Mark whispered then pushed him to the side and walked out of the bathroom.
Bambam rubbed the back of his head since his scalp was so sore. He didn’t
understand Mark at all, he was mean and then he was nice but then he was mean
again. Bambam let out a shaky sigh and walked back to his class. When he
entered the classroom, everyone looked at him. He had been gone for ages, his
eyes were red, it was obvious he’d been crying, his clothes were wet in some
places and not to mention how wet and messy his hair was.
He avoided eye contact with everyone as he walked back to his seat and sat
down. “Um… Moving on” the teacher continued with the lesson.
Bambam felt a tap on his shoulder. “Bambam? What happened?” Yugyeom asked,
voice laced with concern. Bambam couldn’t think of any excuses right now. I
mean how could you explain this?
Instead of thinking of an excuse he just shook his head and looked down at his
hands in his lap while he tried to hold back tears. He felt bad for Bambam.
Yugyeom saw Jaebum watching Bambam with a sinister smirk and concluded that he
probably had to do something with it if he was smiling like that, plus, It’s Im
Jaebum. That’s enough to make him suspicious.
Yugyeom faced the front and decided it’d be best if he did nothing to
interfere.
___
In second period Bambam and Yugyeom luckily shared the same class, but
unluckily Mark was in that class with him. Bambam felt nervous the whole time,
he didn’t have the guts to look at Mark, but he could feel Mark’s eyes on him
the whole time. “You’ve been acting strange today… What’s going on? I know you
only just met me, but you can talk to me you know…” Yugyeom reassured.
Bambam contemplated telling Yugyeom but settled on not telling. If he tells he
doesn’t know what Jaebum or Mark would do to him if he got them in trouble.
“I’ve been a bit sad because my pet budgie died… and earlier when I was all wet
I had vomited and I’m scared of vomiting, so it made me cry and then when I
tried to wash up the tap messed up and sprayed all over me, so you don’t need
to worry” Bambam lied through his teeth.
“Oh… I’m sorry that your budgie died. If you’re sick, then why didn’t you stay
home?” Yugyeom asked. “Well it’s only my second day and I don’t want to miss
school so soon. I already missed most of yesterday…” Bambam wasn’t being
completely dishonest.
“Well okay, but if you seriously don’t feel well I suggest you stay home”
Yugyeom smiled and Bambam nodded.
___
Now it’s lunch and Yugyeom brought Bambam to the correct location of the
cafeteria. They sat down at a table and Bambam looked around. “Do you have any
other friends Yugyeom?” Bambam asked. “I uh… don’t actually. I know it’s really
lame…” Yugyeom laughed awkwardly but his smile faded into a frown.
“No, its not lame. I didn’t have any friends in my old school either” Bambam
smiled and Yugyeom returned a smile. “Well it’s good you came here then, now we
both have a friend” Yugyeom giggled and Bambam agreed.
Bambam spent the lunch getting to know Yugyeom and they both seemed to get
along pretty well. He’s always wanted to have a close friend and he’s hopeful
that Yugyeom will be that close friend of his.
Whilst they were mid conversation, Jaebum walked past them and ‘accidentally’
knocked his food tray onto Bambam, covering him in unpleasant cafeteria food
and milk. “Oh, my bad” Jaebum smiled.
Bambam looked down at his ruined clothes, extremely upset. He felt worse when
he heard people laughing. “Bambam…” Yugyeom reached out to comfort Bambam but
Bambam stood up. “I-I think I’ll go home after all… I don’t feel very well”
Bambam held back his tears as he hurried out of the cafeteria.
Jaebum snickered then realised Yugyeom was looking at him. Yugyeom quickly
looked away, too scared to say anything because he didn’t want to be picked on
either.
___
Bambam left the school and walked home in a hurry, avoiding people’s stares as
he walked past them. When he got home he took his clothes off and showered.
Afterwards he put his clothes in the wash then he got cosy in his bed.
Bambam took his phone out and looked through his small list of contacts,
wondering if he should call his mum. ‘She might get annoyed if I ask to move
schools again… plus I’ve actually found a friend and I’d feel bad if I left him
alone’ Bambam thought. He decided he’d do something about it later if his
situation gets worse.
___
Bambam napped and once he awoke the sun was already down. His stomach growled
so he got up and checked the fridge to find there was no food. He sighed and
put on some appropriate clothes for going out and he left his house and walked
to the supermarket.
He walked towards the salad section and picked up a pre-made salad, he only
really eats salads sometimes because he doesn’t want to gain any weight.
He started walking towards the self-serve but when he turned the corner he saw
Jaebum enter the shop. His blood went cold and he hid back around the corner.
‘Please don’t have seen me’ Bambam prayed. “Hello Bambam” Jaebum appeared from
around the corner.
***** 3 *****
“Leave me alone…” Bambam avoided eye contact as he tried to stand up for
himself. Jaebum threw an arm around Bambam. “Nah I wanted to hang out with you.
Let’s go buy your” Jaebum stopped to see what Bambam was holding. “Salad then
we can spend some time together”
“I-I don’t want to” Bambam stuttered but Jaebum just dragged him towards the
cash register. Bambam paid for his salad as Jaebum purchased some cigarettes.
He was underaged, but they probably assumed he was older. “Okay Bambam let’s
go” Jaebum took a hold of Bambam’s wrist and dragged him out of the store.
Now that he was out of the store Bambam realised how bad this could be and he
tried to pull away from Jaebum’s hold. “Jaebum please let me go” Bambam pleaded
but his pleads were useless as Jaebum pulled him into an alleyway. He threw
Bambam on the ground in front of him causing Bambam to whimper. He felt too
afraid to move, he didn’t want to be hurt again.
Jaebum kneeled down. “You’re shaking so much…” Jaebum chuckled. He reached into
his pocket and took out his packet of cigarettes and lit one. “Smoke this”
Jaebum said as he held it out to Bambam.
Bambam shook his head, he despised cigarettes.
All it took was a cold glare to make Bambam take the cigarette from Jaebum’s
hand, he didn’t put it anywhere near his lips though.
Jaebum lit another cigarette for himself and inhaled the toxic fumes. “Go on”
Jaebum provoked and Bambam looked down at the cigarette in his shaky hand. He
dropped the cigarette and stepped on it, putting it out. He promised he would
never smoke a cigarette ever since his dad passed away from lung cancer.
He was content with his decision until he looked up and saw the facial
expression on Jaebum’s face, he looked furious. The next thing he knew, he was
laying on his side with a harsh sting on his cheek. Jaebum had hit him in the
face.
Bambam choked back a sob as he held his cheek. “You should’ve just smoked it
Bambam, now we’re going to have to do this the hard way” Jaebum said with
malice. Bambam was about to speak but instead a shriek of pain came out of his
mouth when Jaebum’s burning cigarette met with his skin.
Bambam desperately tried to pull his arm away but Jaebum had it in a firm hold.
By the time Jaebum pulled away, Bambam was in hysterics. He was sobbing and
begging but what he was saying was unintelligible. “Stand up” Jaebum ordered.
He looked up at Jaebum, vision clouded with tears. “Do you want more? Stand up”
Bambam struggled to stand, all he could feel right now was the pain from the
cigarette burn and the sting in his cheek.
Once he stood up fully, he received a kick to the leg making him fall down.
Bambam cried on the floor as Jaebum laughed. “Poor thing, I’ll let you go if
you smoke one cigarette” Jaebum offered.
Bambam stared at Jaebum, if he refuses then he’ll have to go through more pain…
but if he accepts then he can go home but then he will break his promise with
his dad, but what if he’s lying about letting him go?
“I-I’ll smoke it…” Bambam gave in, provoked by fear. “Good boy” Jaebum praised
enthusiastically, taking out another cigarette and lighting it. He passed it to
Bambam and he reluctantly brought it to his lips and sucked in.
He instantly started coughing, he hated the taste. “Do it again, gently suck
the smoke in then exhale it after holding it for a moment” Jaebum taught.
Bambam didn’t really understand but he tried his best to follow Jaebum’s
orders. He gently sucked the cigarette and could feel the smoke enter his
lungs, he tried to hold it but ended up coughing.
Jaebum rolled his eyes.
He kept giving Bambam tips until he was able to properly smoke it. When he was
able to he felt accomplished for some reason. He shouldn’t feel that way, he
broke his dads promise. “Good boy” Jaebum caringly pet Bambam’s head like he
was a dog.
He hated that he felt happy for the praise even though he knew it wasn’t
genuine. He hated Jaebum. “I can go now right…?” Bambam asked quietly, looking
at Jaebum. “Yep” Jaebum said and picked up Bambam’s bag with the salad in it
for him and passed it to him which Bambam thought was weird.
Once Bambam took a hold of the bag he quickly left the alley and rushed home.
He was still in great pain and wanted to take care of his burn.
___
When he got home he put the bag down on the kitchen bench and went into the
bathroom. He wasn’t really sure how to treat his burn, so he ran it under cold
water and put a band aid on it. He looked at himself in the mirror, he had a
mark on his cheek from when he was hit by Jaebum. He sighed as he traced the
shape of the bruise, you could tell it was done by someone’s hand.
He was lost in thought but snapped out of it when his stomach roared for food.
He left the bathroom and went to the kitchen and looked into his bag for the
salad but there was something else there besides the salad. There was a box of
cigarettes.
Bambam furrowed his eyebrows. ‘Why are these here…?’ he wondered as he picked
them up and looked at the gross image on the packet. Another growl reminded him
that he came here for food, so he put the cigarettes down and picked up his
salad. He sat on the couch and ate his salad.
When he finished eating, he felt unsatisfied. He didn’t feel hungry anymore,
but he felt like he was still craving something. He threw the trash away from
the salad and turned around and saw the cigarettes on the bench. He realised
that what he’d been craving was the cigarettes. He hated himself for it.
He walked over and picked the box up and took a cigarette out. The room was
silent and all he could hear was the occasional drop of water coming from his
tap or a car passing by.
As he stared at the cigarette he imagined the feeling of inhaling it, the
feeling he hated so much. He imagined the taste that he couldn’t stand, but he
still wanted it. Bambam picked up a lighter that he previously used to light
his candles. He pressed the lighter causing a flame to appear.
He hesitated, staring at the cigarette and lighter in his hands. ‘Good boy’
Jaebum’s words echoed in Bambam’s mind. He felt like his body was running on
autopilot as he slowly moved his hands closer together, making the flame
connect with the tip of the cigarette.
Bambam put the lighter down and brought the cigarette to his lips, and slowly
inhaled the smoke. As he did this, he felt at ease. When he exhaled the smoke,
he felt relaxed.
He repeated this until the cigarette was short. That was when he started to
feel guilty, remembering his already broken promise. He picked up the packet of
cigarettes and threw them in the bin along with the cigarette butt. He promised
himself he wouldn’t do it again.
Bambam went back to his bathroom and brushed his teeth, trying to get rid of
the aftertaste that he couldn’t help but enjoy. He brushed for a good 5 minutes
before deciding to go to bed.
Once he was in bed he sighed and hugged his pillow. He fell asleep listening to
his negative thoughts.
***** 4 *****
Bambam woke up feeling sore again. He groaned as he stretched and forced
himself out of bed and then he made his way to the bathroom and looked in the
mirror. His bruise that he received yesterday was now a lot more prominent on
his face, making him feel even more self-conscious about his appearance.
He didn’t want Yugyeom to worry about what happened, so he applied a light
layer of concealer to cover it up. There was still a slight discoloration
visible, but no one would notice unless they paid close attention, at least he
hoped.
Bambam walked to the front door and reached to grab the door handle, but as he
did a wave of anxiety washed over his body making his hand stop dead in its
tracks. He was scared of what Jaebum and Mark might do to him today, he was
scared to come home with new bruises, scared to get hurt again.
‘Maybe they’ll leave me alone today… Plus I don’t want to ruin my chance of
having a best friend’ Bambam thought and with a shaky hand it opened his door
and locked it behind him.
___
Bambam arrived at school went to his first period class, he was starting to get
familiar with the new school location. He sat down in his assigned seat and
waited for Yugyeom to arrive, but he never came. Jaebum hadn’t arrived yet
either, causing Bambam to worry about the possibly that Jaebum is doing
something to Yugyeom.
Minutes passed, the lesson had started already and Bambam was thinking about
the worse case scenarios. As he was trying to convince himself that everything
was fine the door to the classroom open and Jaebum walked in. “Sorry for being
late” Jaebum apologised with a smile.
“It’s fine, take a seat” the teacher said and Jaebum took the empty seat next
to Bambam where Yugyeom was supposed to be seated. Bambam moved his seat over
as much as he could, feeling uncomfortable. He looked at the teacher hoping
he’d tell Jaebum to move since it’s not his assigned seat, but he didn’t even
seem to notice the fact that Jaebum wasn’t sitting where he was supposed to be.
10 minutes passed in the lesson and nothing had happened. The teacher was
talking to the class, but no one really seemed to be paying attention to him.
Bambam was staring down at his hands in his lap as he nervously played with his
fingers.
Suddenly a hand was placed on his thigh which caused him to flinch. He looked
up and saw Jaebum watching him with that smile. “You’ll come hang out with me
at lunch today, right Bambam?” Jaebum asked, a slight hint of threat in his
voice. Bambam shook his head, he really didn’t want to be near Jaebum today.
That hand on his thigh squeezed tightly, causing him pain. “Right?” Jaebum
repeated. Bambam wanted to say no, but the grip on his thigh had intensified to
the point where he think it’ll actually bruise from how tight he’s holding. “R-
right” Bambam whimpered out, quietly.
When Jaebum got the answer he wanted he removed his hand from Bambam’s thigh
and smiled smugly. Bambam wanted to cry, but he knew that wouldn’t do him any
good, in fact it’d probably just provoke Jaebum to make him more miserable.
___
Skipping to lunch, once Bambam left his second period classroom Jaebum was
waiting outside for him. Bambam wasn’t sure how Jaebum knew where he was but
that was the least of his worries right now. Jaebum approached him and grabbed
him by the wrist. “Let’s go” Jaebum said before dragging Bambam.
He brought him to the secluded brick wall and let go of Bambam’s wrist. Jaebum
took out a pack of cigarettes and removed a cigarette and lit it. He brought it
to his lips and inhaled the smoke. Bambam watched and licked his dry lips, he
craved the cigarette.
Jaebum locked eye contact with Bambam as he exhaled his cigarette. Bambam
breathed in the smoke then he looked down, breaking the eye contact. Jaebum put
his fingers on Bambam’s chin and tilted his head back up.
“Do you want one?” Jaebum asked. Bambam took a step back, causing Jaebum’s
fingers to lose contact with his chin. “N-no thanks…” Bambam tried to be polite
to avoid getting him mad. Jaebum looked disappointed. “You were watching me
like you wanted something… If it wasn’t the cigarette then was it me?” Jaebum
grinned.
“W-what?” Bambam questioned, not completely understanding what Jaebum meant.
Jaebum dropped his cigarette and started moving towards Bambam. Frightened,
Bambam backed away until his back was against the wall. He mentally scolded
himself for trapping himself against the wall like this again.
Jaebum put his hand next to Bambam’s head, leaving a small space in between
them.
“Are you gay or something?” Jaebum said, sliding his hand down from the wall to
Bambam’s shoulder. Bambam quickly shook his head, he could feel his heart
beating at an extremely fast pace. Jaebum’s hand slowly moved down Bambam’s
torso which made Bambam shiver, he was too scared to move.
Once Jaebum’s hand reached Bambam’s crotch, that was too much for Bambam to
just do nothing. He grabbed Jaebum’s wrist and shook his head. “Stop” his voice
came out very small, tears gathering in the corner of his eyes.
Jaebum looked at Bambam’s scared face and laughed. “You think you can tell me
what to do?” Jaebum asked but Bambam didn’t reply. Suddenly, Bambam was in
excruciating pain and he dropped to his knees. Jaebum had kneed him in the
balls, hard. “Fucking faggot” Jaebum delivered a kick to his stomach, causing
Bambam to get winded.
His breath was completely knocked out of him and he couldn’t seem to breathe
back in. Bambam panicked, grabbing Jaebum’s legs seeking some sort of comfort
in his panicked state.
“Look at you, so fucking pathetic” Jaebum mocked and grabbed Bambam by the
hair.
Bambam finally was able to breathe in shallowly after what seemed like forever
and now that he wasn’t panicking about not being able to breathe he realised
the position he was in. He was on his knees in front of Jaebum, hands on
Jaebum’s legs and his head at an uncomfortably close proximity to his crotch.
Bambam felt his cheeks heat up and he tried to pull away but Jaebum’s grip on
his hair prevented him from doing so. Suddenly there was a flash and Bambam
looked up and saw Jaebum’s phone being pointed down at him and the sound of a
photo being taken.
Jaebum let go and stepped away from Bambam and inspected the photo on his
phone. “Wow this makes you look like a little slut” Jaebum grinned, turning his
phone around to show Bambam the image.
Once Bambam saw the image of himself on his knees in front of Jaebum, he
reached out to try grab the phone, but Jaebum held it at a height that Bambam
couldn’t reach and chuckled tauntingly. “Please don’t show anyone” Bambam
pleaded, trying to get up but couldn’t find the strength to do so.
“Hmm why shouldn’t I?” Jaebum smirked. Bambam thought for a moment then spoke
up, “I-If you don’t show anyone then… I won’t t-tell anyone that you’ve been
bullying me”. It seemed like a big offer, but Bambam really didn’t want a photo
of himself looking like he’s about to give some guy a blowjob to spread around.
“Hmm, whatever. Works for me. I’m showing Mark though” Jaebum said as he
proceeded to send the photo to mark. “H-He won’t show anyone right?” Bambam
asked nervously. Jaebum shrugged. “Not my problem if he does” and with that
Jaebum turned around and as if on que the bell rung to signal all students to
go to class.
Jaebum left, leaving a worried Bambam by himself.
Bambam started to think about everything that happened and cracked. He started
to sob. After Jaebum left he realised how alone he felt. He needed someone
right now, anyone.
Unexpectedly, his phone buzzed which surprised him since he never got
notifications. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to see what it was.
Facebook: 1 friend request, 1 new message
Friend request: Kim Yugyeom
Bambam went to his message and read a message that Yugyeom sent.
‘Finally, I found your Facebook, I don’t know how many times it took me to
rearrange the letters of your name to get the correct spelling’
Bambam quickly accepted the friend request and then wrote a reply to Yugyeom.
‘Thank you for adding me, why aren’t you at school today?’
After a few seconds he received a reply.
‘I stayed home because I woke up sick, sorry :P’
‘No its fine, I hope you feel better soon’ Bambam replied.
Bambam and Yugyeom texted back and forth all of third period, Bambam found
himself smiling multiple times, feeling happy that Yugyeom’s talking to him, he
felt wanted for once and finally in a good way.
‘Hey can I come to yours? I don’t really want to be at school right now and I
want to see if you’re okay’ Bambam messaged.
‘Yeah you can :) my address is xxxx’ Yugyeom replied.
Bambam felt elated, he hasn’t been to a friend’s house in years. He stood up
from his spot and stretched, feeling a bit more energized now that he had
something to look forward to.
He walked to the school gates and looked around and saw no one. He felt kind of
surprised how easy it was to just walk out, he had never done something like
this before. As he turned around the corner he ran into someone which caused
him to stumble back. He instantly apologized but stopped mid apology when he
realised that he had run into Mark.
They stared at each other for a few seconds. “I-I have to go sorry” Bambam
hurried around him. Mark watched Bambam hurry off and smiled, amused by the
fact that Bambam was scared of him.
___
Bambam found Yugyeom’s house and hesitantly knocked on the door. He heard
footsteps and the door opened, revealing an older woman. “Oh hello! You must be
Yugyeom’s friend, Bambam. Come on in” Yugyeom’s assumed to be mother moved to
the side so that Bambam could walk in.
Yugyeom’s house smelt nice and felt extremely comforting. “Yugyeom’s room is
the second door to the right in the hallway, if you need anything I’ll be in
the living room” she said with her hand on his shoulder, giving it a pat before
making her way to the living room.
Bambam smiled and as he walked to Yugyeom’s room, he felt kind of jealous since
his mum wasn’t like this when he was a kid, she just kind of ignored him.
He reached Yugyeom’s door and knocked quietly. “Come in” he heard Yugyeom’s
voice from the inside. He opened the door and saw Yugyeom laying on his bed in
pyjamas and slightly messy hair, he thought he looked cute.
“Hi Bambam” Yugyeom smiled. “Hi, how are you feeling?” Bambam asked, he sat on
a chair that was next to Yugyeom’s bed. “Still sick but better” Yugyeom said,
rolling onto his side so he can talk to Bambam easier.
___
They talked for a while and Bambam yawned. “Are you tired?” Yugyeom asked and
Bambam nodded. “A little…”
Yugyeom moved over and pet the space in the bed besides him. “Want to lay down
with me?” Yugyeom offered. “U-Um is that okay?” Bambam stuttered, feeling shy.
“Yeah of course” Yugyeom smiled.
Bambam got up from the chair then took his shoes off. He got into Yugyeom’s bed
and laid next to him, face starting to go red from being so shy. Yugyeom
giggled noticing that Bambam was blushing. “You’re really cute”
“N-no I’m not” Bambam covered his face, embarrassed. The next thing he knew,
Yugyeom’s arms were wrapped around his petite body and hugging him. “You are”
Yugyeom grinned.
This continued for a while and Bambam hadn’t felt this happy for ages. They
laid in a comfortable silence and eventually they both found themselves in a
deep sleep, in each other’s arms.
___
“Boys! Dinner’s ready!” Yugyeom’s mother called out. Bambam opened his eyes and
saw Yugyeom looking at him. “Let’s go have dinner” Yugyeom said as he sat up.
Bambam felt worried when he heard the word dinner. “Is something wrong?”
Yugyeom asked.
“Uhh no… Let’s go” Bambam said and got out of the bed and put his shoes back
on. Yugyeom took Bambam to the dining room and they sat next to each other.
“How are you feeling?” Yugyeom’s mother asked. “I feel a lot better now,
especially since Bambam was with me” Yugyeom beamed. She giggled and started to
eat.
Yugyeom started eating too. Bambam stared at the food, it was chicken and
vegetables. Not too many calories… plus he was kind of hungry. Bambam started
to eat, and once he started he realised how hungry he was.
___
Everyone finished their meal and they had chat for a while. Bambam checked the
time to see it was 9:17pm. “It’s getting late, I should go home” Bambam stood
up. “Aw…” Yugyeom frowned. “Thanks for having me and thank you for the food”
Bambam bowed. “It was my pleasure” Yugyeom’s mother said.
“I’ll walk you to the door” Yugyeom said, standing up and taking Bambam to the
door. He opened the door and looked at Bambam. “Want me to walk you home?”
Yugyeom asked and Bambam shook his head. “I don’t want to inconvenience you, I
should be fine by myself anyway” Bambam assured him and stepped outside.
“Okay… thanks for coming over today, I had fun” Yugyeom said and hugged Bambam.
He returned the hug, smiling uncontrollably. “I had fun too, thank you”
They separated and looked at each other in the eyes. “See you tomorrow” Yugyeom
waved. “Bye bye” Bambam said in a cute voice, which made Yugyeom giggle. Bambam
left and walked home.
___
Now that he was in his small empty apartment he felt a bit empty, but he was
still happy that he spent the day with Yugyeom.
Bambam walked into his kitchen and got a glass of water to drink.
When he put his glass down he realised that he was craving a cigarette. He
walked over to his bin and took the cigarette packet out. There was still a lot
of cigarettes left and he gulped, he wanted one.
Maybe his craving will go away if he just lights it and smells it?
Bambam picked up his lighter and lit one of the cigarettes. It wasn’t
satisfying at all, in fact it just made him even more tempted. ‘I’ll stop after
this’ Bambam promised himself, once again.
He brought the cigarette to his lips and inhaled slowly.
He started to wonder what Jaebum would think if he found out that Bambam had
started to smoke the cigarettes on his own. Would it satisfy him? Would he
praise Bambam? He exhaled.
His phone went off and he saw a message from Yugyeom.
‘Did you get home safe?’
Bambam stared at the message. Something about that question made him snap back
into reality. He didn’t want Jaebum to have an effect on his life like this, he
didn’t need it.
He put the cigarette out and went to his bed and got comfortable.
‘Yeah I did, but I am going to sleep now. Thank you for today’ Bambam replied.
‘Goodnight ^^’
Bambam put his phone down and rolled onto his side and hugged his pillow,
wishing it was another person. It took him a few minutes, but he fell asleep.
***** 5 *****
When Bambam woke up he was still tired, but he was feeling good for once.
Once he got out of bed he proceeded to get ready for the day. When he showered
his band-aid peeled off revealing a nasty looking sore from where Jaebum had
burnt him with the cigarette, he was certain it was going to leave a scar which
really upset him, but he tried his best to not think about it.
He finished showering and applied band-aids and makeup to conceal his bruises
and blemishes, then he dressed in an oversized blue jumper with skinny jeans.
He looked at the mirror and thought he looked fatter. Maybe he shouldn’t have
eaten that meal last night.
Bambam left the house and begun his walk to school, once he arrived he saw
Yugyeom and they exchanged a smile.
Bambam arrived at Yugyeom’s side and they talked as they walked into the school
together. “How do you feel?” Bambam asked. “I’m 100% better now, thanks again
for coming yesterday” Yugyeom answered. “I’m glad that you feel better and that
I could come”
The two kept chatting as they walked to their 1st period classroom. When they
walked into the classroom they both quickly discovered that Bambam’s desk had
been littered with harmful words, like fat, ugly, stupid, slut.
Bambam was obviously hurt by the words but what really bothered him was the
word slut. It made him think of when Jaebum had called him a ‘little slut’
after taking that photo of him. He wasn’t actually a slut, was he? No, he
hasn’t even had sex yet.
Bambam was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt a hand on his shoulder. “We
still have some time before class, we can clean this off together”. Bambam
turned to look at Yugyeom to see a comforting smile on his face which made him
feel better.
“Y-Yeah” Bambam agreed and they both went to get cleaning supplies.
Afterwards they returned to the classroom and began to clean the desk together.
“Thank you for helping me with this… it’s probably a bother since it’s not even
your desk” Bambam frowned while scrubbing at the stubborn ink.

“It’s really no problem, if it was a bother then I wouldn’t have suggested it
in the first place” Yugyeom reassured. “I don’t deserve someone as kind as you”
Bambam said half-jokingly.
___
By the time everyone had arrived to the classroom Yugyeom and Bambam had
already finished cleaning up the desk. Bambam noticed a few dirty looks from
some of the other students and guessed that they were the people who wrote on
his desk and were probably annoyed by the fact that his desk was clean.
Bambam was tempted to look back at Jaebum but he didn’t have the guts to, so
instead he just kept his head faced to the front of the room.
___
The day seemed to past slowly for Bambam, but he didn’t mind because he was
spending the majority of it with Yugyeom besides when he didn’t share a class
with him.
He was leaving his 5th period class and he felt a hand grab his shoulder. He
turned around expecting to see Yugyeom but felt his heart drop when he was met
with the face of Mark.
“Um…” Bambam squeaked. Mark grabbed Bambam’s arm, pulling him in the opposite
direction of his class. Fear started to consume Bambam. ‘Not again’
He tried his best to stop his feet and grab onto something, so he couldn’t be
taken away. People who walked by didn’t do anything to help him, they just kept
walking and gave the boys a weird look.
Mark could feel himself growing annoyed from the others resistance, so he
stopped and turned back to him. “I’m not going to hurt you” Mark said blankly,
making Bambam unable to tell if he was telling the truth or not.
“Y-You will… I don’t want to be hurt more… Please let me go” Bambam panicked,
starting to cry.
Mark watched him cry. He gulped and licked his lips, seeing the younger boy
like this excited him.
Bambam gave up on struggling when he realised he wouldn’t be able to escape
Mark, so instead he just stood there, crying into the sleeve of his jumper.
Suddenly, Mark pulled him close and wrapped his arms around Bambam.
Bambam instantly tensed in his hold. Mark started to rub his hand up and down
Bambam’s back gently. “Shh, it’s okay” he whispered reassuringly.
To say Bambam was confused was a mere understatement. He wasn’t just confused
by the fact that Mark was comforting him, he was confused on why his arms were
moving on their own, wrapping around the others boy’s body.
Bambam sought for comfort, holding on tightly and relishing the feeling of
Mark’s touch as he cried.
___
Eventually Bambam calmed down, his sobs turning into quiet sniffles.
Mark pulled away from Bambam and looked at him. “Will you come with me now?”
Mark asked, looking into Bambam’s eyes.
“I don’t want to be hurt” Bambam’s voice came out quieter than he intended it
to. “I won’t hurt you, I promise” Mark assured, holding out a hand for Bambam
to take.
Bambam stared at Mark’s hand, hesitating. That’s the same hand that held his
head under the water, he was scared of it.
But if he was scared, then why did it give him so much comfort?
What if Mark wasn’t really like Jaebum? What if he felt bad for Bambam and
wanted to help him?
Bambam nervously reached his hand out and placed it on Mark’s. “Good” Mark
smiled, the feeling he felt right now would compare to the feeling you’d get
when you successfully teach your pet a trick.
Mark held Bambam’s hand and started walking. Bambam stared at his and Mark’s
hand as they walked. He felt like he was under some sort of spell right now,
disorientated and dazed.
Mark took Bambam to the door of the room where he was locked in on the first
day of school. When he saw the door and recognized it he stepped back,
loosening his grip on Mark’s hand.
“I won’t hurt you remember. You trust me, right?” Mark asked, tilting his head
to the side. Bambam slightly furrowed his eyebrows. Of course he doesn’t trust
Mark, right? Then why did he voluntarily take his hand and come with him here?
Why is he still holding his hand?
Bambam felt confused, he didn’t know how to respond.
Mark placed his hand on Bambam’s cheek where Jaebum had hit him previously. He
gently rubbed his thumb on smooth skin, staring at him with no expression.
Bambam stared back at Mark, unable to look away.
He already knew Mark was attractive but seeing his face close up with no
distraction gave him the opportunity to realise how flawless his skin was and
just how perfect his features were. He made Bambam feel even uglier than he
usually does.
“Well, do you?” Mark asked in a quieter voice, leaning in. “I trust you…”
Bambam’s voice came out in a whisper.
No, he didn’t have control of the words that came out of his mouth. He didn’t
trust Mark.
“Let’s go in then” Mark said, moving away to give Bambam some space.
Mark opened the door and walked in. Bambam hesitated for a second before
walking in behind Mark.
Bambam looked around the room and his eyes landed on Jaebum, sitting in the
back corner. He instantly felt betrayed, but fear overpowered the emotion of
betrayal. As he turned to leave the door slammed shut.
 He realised that Mark had closed it.
Bambam felt tears gathering in his eyes as he reached to open the door, but
Mark grabbed him, preventing him from reaching the door. “No no no please let
me go” Bambam implored, trying to pull away from Mark.
Mark just watched as Bambam struggled in his hold, no emotion present on his
face.
Jaebum who had been quiet this whole time let out a quiet laugh. Bambam looked
at him and watched as he stood up and walked over to the door. He pulled a key
out of his pocket. “No… please” Bambam pleaded.
Jaebum looked back at Bambam and smiled before turning back and locking the
door.
In that moment Bambam had never felt so stupid. This was his fault. He came
here by his own choice, he was the one who decided to trust Mark.
Even though he was so upset with Mark right now, he found himself holding onto
him. “Look at you, becoming so dependent on Mark” Jaebum smirked as he watched
Bambam cling to Mark.
Bambam felt embarrassed, but he felt like if he let go then he’d become even
more vulnerable. “P-Please… don’t hurt m-me...” Bambam begged, tears running
down his cheeks.
“You’re so pitiful today… It’s cute” Jaebum chuckled, walking over and putting
his hand on Bambam’s cheek. His touch made Bambam freeze. Unlike Mark, Jaebum’s
touch made him feel incredibly anxious. “Why are you wearing makeup? I want to
see the marks that I leave on you”
Jaebum used his thumb to rub off some of the makeup which was much easier to do
with the help of Bambam’s tears. “Aww the bruise isn’t as prominent as I would
want it to be… Maybe I should try make some that stand out?”
“No…” Bambam shook his head. “What do you think Mark?” Jaebum asked. Bambam
looked at Mark with pleading eyes. “It’s fun for me either way so… do what you
want”
“B-but you said I wouldn’t get hurt” Bambam wept. “I said I wouldn’t hurt you,
I never said anything about Jaebum not hurting you” Mark clarified. Bambam felt
betrayed.
Mark let go of Bambam and Jaebum took a step closer to him.
Bambam took a step back, but was confused when he was suddenly staring at the
ceiling with a sharp pain on the back of his head. Jaebum laughed childishly.
“Aw he fell over”
Bambam sat up, he only now realised how shaky his legs were. Jaebum kneeled in
front of him. “How should I play with you today?” Jaebum spoke as if he was
talking to himself. Bambam tried to crawl backwards but Jaebum grabbed his
ankle and pulled him, wincing when he felt his elbows being scraped against the
floor. “Where do you think you’re going?”
Bambam accidentally let out a whimper of fear when Jaebum straddled him, his
weight keeping Bambam trapped in place. Jaebum brought his hands to his neck,
wrapping his large hands around Bambam’s thin neck but not applying any
pressure. “Wow your neck fits perfectly in my hands, it’s like they’re meant
for each other” Jaebum grinned, adding pressure to Bambam’s neck. It wasn’t
enough to cut off Bambam’s breathing but it was enough to make it difficult.
“J-Jaebum please”
Bambam felt pathetic, all he could do is cry and beg for him to stop.
“Ready?” Jaebum asked. Before Bambam could say no, Jaebum’s grip had tightened
tremendously. Bambam tried to speak, to breathe, but he couldn’t. He
desperately grabbed at Jaebum’s hands, trying to detach them from his throat
but he couldn’t even budge them.
He kicked his legs but Jaebum’s weight kept him in place. His eyes became
glassy. ‘Why isn’t he stopping? I’m going to die’
Both Jaebum and Mark watched in amusement as Bambam’s face turned from pale, to
pink to a purple-blue shade. They observed how his movements started to slow
down, putting up less of a fight. He was now trying to stay conscious as black
started to appear around the edges of his vision.
Ding
The pressure on Bambam’s neck was gone, he had no control as his body
desperately inhaled for air.
It took a minute for Bambam to realise Jaebum was speaking. He didn’t bother
paying attention, he just stared into the distance feeling extremely dazed.
“Hey, are you even listening to me?” Jaebum asked, lightly hitting Bambam’s
cheek to get his attention. He looked up at Jaebum’s face then looked at was in
his hands. It was Bambam’s phone.
“I said your boyfriend messaged you” Jaebum repeated. Boyfriend?
“Yugyeom…?” Bambam rasped, voice sore from being strangled. “Not denying that
he’s your boyfriend huh? So I was right about you being gay” Jaebum raised an
eyebrow.
“N-no… Yugyeom is my friend” Bambam’s voice came out weak. “You’re not allowed
to have friends Bambam” Jaebum said sternly. “W-What?” Bambam stuttered.
“You belong to Mark and me. You’re not allowed to be friends with anyone”
Jaebum said it as if it was common knowledge. Bambam wanted to cry again. Since
when was that a rule?
“You… You don’t own me” Bambam tried to sound strong, just to be betrayed when
he heard his voice crack more than once. Jaebum scoffed. “And… I can be friends
with who I want. I’m going to stay friends with Yugyeom forever” each word was
difficult for Bambam to say because of the pain in his throat but also the fear
of what would happen after he finished what he was saying.
Jaebum’s grabbed Bambam’s head, pushing it onto the floor with a strong force,
making Bambam whimper. He leaned down to Bambam’s ear and whispered, “Listen
here, you can try and defy me if you want to but it’s not going to get you
anywhere. You can keep trying to talk to Yugyeom if you want but just know if
you do then I will show you that I own you, you belong to me okay? There
absolutely nothing that you can do that will change that”
Bambam just laid there, shaking under Jaebum. He couldn’t think of anything to
respond with. He couldn’t think of any solution. He was trapped.
Jaebum moved his head down and placed his lips on Bambam’s neck.
Shocked, Bambam grabbed onto Jaebum’s shirt and let out a small whimper, caused
by a mixture of fear and surprise.
Jaebum parted his lips and began to suck at the sensitive skin causing Bambam
to shiver from the new sensation. “J-Jaebum” Bambam whined, trying to push him
off. He could feel his face heating up, he felt mortified.  
When Jaebum’s teeth nipped at Bambam’s skin, his tears pathetically started to
flow once again. All he could do was lay here until Jaebum stopped, he knew he
was too weak to stop him.
When Jaebum moved away he stopped to admire the beautiful artwork he had
created today. Tear stained cheeks, pale skin now covered in dark bruises, the
hickey made by Jaebum to show Bambam that he really was owned by him.
“Do you know who you belong to now? Do you understand what place you’re in?”
Jaebum questioned. Bambam didn’t want to say anything so instead he looked over
at Mark who had been quietly watching this whole time. “Don’t look at him for
help” Jaebum said, turning Bambam’s head back to face Jaebum.
“Now answer my questions, do you know who you belong to?” Jaebum stared down at
Bambam.
He had no choice.
“I… I belong… to y-you and Mark…” Bambam forced the words out.
“Are you allowed to have any friends?” Jaebum smirked.
Bambam shook his head, reluctantly. “I want you to use your words Bambam”
Jaebum directed. “I’m n-not allowed… to have friends” Bambam obeyed.
“And why aren’t you allowed to have friends?” Jaebum asked.
“Because… I belong to you and Mark… and you said I can’t have friends… So I
have to listen” Bambam hoped he was giving the right answer.
“Good job, you got it all right” Jaebum congratulated, rubbing Bambam’s head.
“If you keep being a good boy then we can reward you, but if you defy us we’re
going to have to punish you okay?” Jaebum warned with a smile.
“Y-Yes” Bambam responded.
Mark made his way to Bambam’s side and kneeled besides him. “I’m proud to see
you behave well, good boy” he praised, putting his hand on Bambam’s arm.
Bambam knew they weren’t being genuine with him, he wasn’t stupid, but he
couldn’t help but emotionally respond to the praises he was receiving. It made
him feel prideful.
Jaebum got off Bambam finally and stood up. “Say thank you for our time today”
Jaebum ordered.
“T-thank you for your time…” Bambam thanked, causing the older boys to smile in
satisfaction.
Mark was about to stand up when Bambam grabbed at his sleeve. “Mark can you
please… H-hug me”
Mark was kind of caught off guard by Bambam’s request, but smiled when he
realised just how weak and dependant Bambam really was. Mark fulfilled Bambam’s
request and hugged him. He quickly responded to the hug, holding on tight.
Bambam was very disappointed in himself. He knew he shouldn’t have asked, but
the thought about having to be alone scared him.
Mark brought his hand to Bambam’s hair, gently playing with it. It felt nice.
He never really got much psychical affection growing up so it was nice to
experience it.
Bambam realised how heavy his eyelids felt. The combination of being held in a
comforting hug, having his hair played with and just the general exhaustion he
felt after Jaebum having his fun with him really took a toll on him.
‘It’ll be fine if I close my eyes for a few minutes’ Bambam thought, closing
his eyes.
As soon as he closed his eyes, multiple waves of exhaustion washed over him
like a tsunami. He started to fall asleep, he could hear Jaebum talking to Mark
but was unable to process any of the words being said since he was too tired to
actually focus on any of it.
Before he knew it, he fell asleep in Mark’s arms.
___
The sound of the school bell is what woke Bambam up. He quickly discovered that
Jaebum and Mark had just left him there on the floor, he wasn’t very surprised
though, but he couldn’t help but feel disappointed.
Bambam remembered how he had asked Mark to hug him and started to strongly
regret it, what if they thought that he liked Mark?
He sighed.
Bambam stood up, body sore from the rough treatment from earlier and from
sleeping on a hard floor.
With a struggle, he left the room.
___
Bambam was walking slowly out of the school when he heard his name being
called.
Yugyeom.
He kept walking, pretending he didn’t hear Yugyeom yell out to him. When he
heard running behind him he tried to walk faster.
 
“Bambam, why weren’t you in the last classes?” he heard Yugyeom ask. Bambam
stopped but didn’t turn around or say anything, instead thinking about what
Jaebum told him earlier.
“Are you ignoring me…?” Yugyeom asked, worried. Still not receiving a response
from Bambam, Yugyeom decided to grab Bambam’s shoulder and turn him around to
face him.
“Did I do something wr- “Yugyeom stopped when he saw the Hickey on Bambam’s
neck, along with other bruises. “What is that… Why do you…?” Yugyeom couldn’t
seem to be able to finish the question because of how surprised he was.
Bambam stared at the ground, he couldn’t bring himself to look up at Yugyeom.
“What happened to you?” Yugyeom inquired, sounding distraught.
Bambam started to shake, tears forming in his eyes. Yugyeom reached out for him
but Bambam stepped back and finally looked up at Yugyeom’s face and he could
feel his heart break when he saw the dejected look on Yugyeom’s face.
“Bambam…” Yugyeom murmured. Bambam opened his mouth to speak but nothing came
out when he realised that Jaebum was watching them from the distance. “Please
answer me…”
“P-Please don’t talk to me…” Bambam mumbled. “What…?” Yugyeom questioned. When
Bambam shook his head Yugyeom grabbed his shoulder gently. “Please explain
what’s going on, I’m so confused”
Bambam stared at Yugyeom, feeling himself tear apart from making the other so
distressed. He was about to say something but when he saw Jaebum stand up in
his peripheral vision that’s all it took for Bambam to pull away from Yugyeom
and start walking. “Bambam!”
Bambam was stopped by Yugyeom’s grip on his wrist. “Plea- “
“Stop! Please… let go” Bambam raised his sore voice, tears streaming down his
cheeks. Shocked, Yugyeom let go of Bambam.
As soon as his wrist was released Bambam quickly left the scene. Yugyeom only
just realised that there were people around watching everything that just
happened. He looked down at the floor and started to walk past the people,
holding back his tears.
___
As soon as Bambam got home he slid down his door and sobbed. He felt like his
world was falling apart, he could barely breathe.
There’s no way Yugyeom would want to be friends with him anymore, it’s not like
he was allowed to be his friend anyway. At that thought he let out another loud
cry.
___
Once Bambam had come back to reality the sun was already down.
He went to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. Once he laid eyes
on his own reflection he felt disgusted. He stared at the hickey that reminded
him that he no longer has control over his own life.
He rinsed his face with cold water then went to his bedroom and laid in his
bed. As he laid there he thought about Yugyeom, he really didn’t want to lose a
friend. Bambam was about to start crying again when he heard a notification on
his phone.
He quickly picked his phone up to find Yugyeom had messaged him. His heartbeat
quickened when he opened the message notification.
‘Bambam, I’m not sure what happened today but I just wanted to say sorry if I
did anything to hurt you. I was just really concerned about what happened but
if you don’t want me to know I understand. If something serious is going on I
hope you know you can talk to me about it. Please let me know if you’re okay’
Bambam stared at the message. Yugyeom didn’t hate him, he felt so relieved.
He wanted to reply but was unsure if he should. He was scared that Jaebum and
Mark would find out.
‘I see you’ve read my message… I hope you don’t hate me. I don’t know what I
did’
Bambam frowned.
Maybe he was overthinking things, Mark and Jaebum wouldn’t go as far as taking
his phone to read his messages, would they?
Bambam started to type his message.
‘No I don’t hate you, I was scared that you would hate me. I can’t explain
anything sorry’ Bambam texted.
‘No no of course I don’t hate you, you’re my friend’
Bambam smiled a little when he read the word friend.
‘Thank you Yugyeom. Can I ask you a favour?’
‘Of course, anything’
‘Can you not talk to me in school? I promise it’s nothing against you and I
can’t explain why I can’t, but things won’t be okay if you do. We can keep
texting but just no communicating in real life’
It took a few minutes for Yugyeom to reply this time.
‘Okay’ was all the message said.
Bambam was relieved that he could still be friends with Yugyeom, it made him
feel a lot better.
‘Thank you so much. I’m going to sleep now, sorry again’
‘Goodnight Bambam’
Bambam put his phone down and closed his eyes. Things might be okay.
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