Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/6844888.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Major_Character_Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      방탄소년단_|_Bangtan_Boys_|_BTS
  Relationship:
      Min_Yoongi_|_Suga/Park_Jimin, Jeon_Jungkook/Park_Jimin, Jeon_Jungkook/Min
      Yoongi_|_Suga, Jung_Hoseok_|_J-Hope/Original_Female_Character(s)
  Character:
      Min_Yoongi_|_Suga, Park_Jimin_(BTS), Jeon_Jungkook, Jung_Hoseok_|_J-Hope
  Additional Tags:
      yoonmin, jikook_-_Freeform, Polyamory, Alternate_Universe_-_High_School,
      Past_Child_Abuse, Past_Rape/Non-con, Past_Sexual_Assault, Private_School,
      Closeted_Character, Violence, Mental_Health_Issues, Drug_Abuse, Alcohol
      Abuse/Alcoholism, First_Time, Other_Additional_Tags_to_Be_Added, Fluff
      and_Angst, Fluff_and_Smut, Eventual_Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic
      Stress_Disorder_-_PTSD, Depression, Eating_Disorders, Medication,
      yoonkook, Bottom_Yoongi, Top_Jimin, Top_Yoongi, Bottom_Jimin, Top
      Jungkook, Sugakookie, Coming_Out, Self-Acceptance, read_with_caution,
      Broken_Families, Protective_Yoongi, yoonminkook_-_Freeform, Bottom
      Jungkook, Mutual_Masturbation, Panic_Attacks, Anxiety_Disorder
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-05-14 Updated: 2016-06-25 Chapters: 7/? Words: 32644
****** Till It Happens To You ******
by Bren3213
Summary
     The idea that the world could ever look anything but grey to me
     seemed...nonexistent. I had everything a teenager could possibly ask
     for: I was popular, drove an expensive car, and had enough money to
     possibly end world hunger. No one could possibly guess what was
     really going on behind my front door, right? No...they never would
     have guessed that my father abused me and my mother slept with my
     principal. They would never know that despite being friends with
     certain people for years...they knew little about me, yet being
     friends with Suga, Jimin, and Hoseok for a few weeks had changed my
     life forever. I was warned to stay away from them, and sometimes late
     at night I wonder if I should have listened. Looking at their smiles,
     listening to their laughs, being around their warmth...it made me
     realize how glad I was I hadn't listened.
Notes
     This is a pretty triggering story so please make sure to read the
     tags. This story was somewhat inspired by Lady Gaga's song Till It
     Happens To You. On another note, does anyone know what Jimin/
     Jungkook/Suga's ship name is?
***** Chapter 1 *****
Help me...please...help me...
Why was no one coming? I continued to try to scream out for my parents who were
standing only a few mere feet away from me.
"Shh...it's okay...you like this." His slimy voice whispered hotly into my ear,
his hand forcing its way into my pants.
I don't. I don't. I don't.
"We're just having a little fun." He muttered as he began to remove his own
pants.
My eyes flashed open as the sound of my alarm blaring woke me from the same
nightmare I had whenever I dared close my eyes. I was breathing harshly, my
body drenched in sweat as I continued to feel his dirty hands on me. I dug my
nails deep into the soft flesh of my palm, willing myself to realize I was no
longer in that situation. I sat up, bringing my knees to my chest as I
attempted to think of something that would replace the searing images that
remained fresh in my mind.
"What do you mean you aren't attending the dinner tonight?" My father's voice
boomed in the quiet house.
"Did I not make myself clear? David wants to take me out to eat tonight and I
have already declined his last three offers so you will have to attend the
dinner on your own." My mother replied, her high heels clicking loudly against
the marble floor and from the sound of it I could tell she was on her way out
the door.
I heard the loud bang of my father's fist connecting to the wall, "This dinner
is fucking important! We are at the midst of signing a deal with the top
wedding planners in this city and you're willing to fuck this all up because
your scum bag of a boyfriend?"
My parents have been happily married for seventeen years. They are the poster
image of what it means to be faithful to one another, constantly helping each
other succeed in life. At least...that's what everyone believes. They aren't
aware that my mother had been seeing the Dean of my school, Mr. David Vigil,
since I started going to school at Woolridge Academy, a prestigious private
school where all the smart students in the city attended. My father found out
soon after they started seeing each other, having come home one day early from
the country club that they owned when my mother wouldn't pick up his calls. He
had been furious. Of course he had, she had broken his heart after all. The
only reason they remained together was in order to continue to make the amount
of money they were making at the country club.
"You will not talk about him that way! Should I bring up your whore? How's Amy
doing?" My mother taunted.
Amy Fletcher was married to James Fletcher who just so happens to be my
father's best friend and loyal business partner. The house became quiet, the
only noise coming from my father's heavy steps as he retreated back into his
room.
I heard my mother's heels clicking against the stair case, alerting me that she
was on her way up to my room. I curled underneath my blankets, closing my eyes
to feign sleep. The dip on my bed informed me that she was now in my room.
Her slightly trembling hand pushed my hair out of my face, "Jeon, darling, it's
time to wake up."
I wish I could say that I found the touch comforting, that my mother's presence
didn't cause me anger. She couldn't notice her son being sexually abused nor
physically abused but she could sure notice a man eyeing her up and down from a
mile away.
"You don't want to be late for your first day of senior year." She said as she
shook my shoulder, excitement laced in her tone.
Why wasn't I excited? I slowly opened my eyes, taking in her freshly dyed brown
hair before looking into her tired brown eyes. "I'm up." I mumble, turning my
entire body away from her grasp.
Even after I have gotten up and gone through my closet for today's outfit my
mother hadn't left yet. I raise a questioning eyebrow at her as she stares at
the painting of the butterfly I had randomly decided to paint yesterday. "It's
beautiful, sweetheart. I keep telling you to do something with your special
talent but you constantly ignore me...such a waste." She stands from my bed,
walking towards my door, "I put some money into your bank account, enough for
the week." The door shut quietly behind her.
She always said 'enough for the week' but I didn't eat much, nor did I really
spend my money on anything other than clothes when necessary...I had enough
money to live on my own comfortably for a really long time. The only reason I
hadn't left yet was the constant fear that I would buy a place of my own only
to perish from never leaving because the memories would eat me alive.
I took a quick shower, then threw on my school's uniform which was black dress
shoes, grey slacks, white button down shirt with a grey vest on top adorn with
a red blazer that had our school's crescent stitched into it along with a tie.
I combed my hair back so that none of it was in my face and once I felt that I
looked presentable enough I grabbed my school bag and headed down the stairs as
fast as possible. I hurried out the front door without grabbing breakfast so
that I could avoid my father's boiling rage. Despite having gone to the gym
recently I knew my father would still be able to win me in a fight and since it
was the first day of a new school year I did not want to start it off as being
a punching bag for my old man.
My polished black BMW sat in the driveway along with my father's Porsche.
Seeing our expensive cars always left a sour taste in my mouth, I should feel
grateful that my life was this good. Yet as I climbed into the drivers seat and
began to make my way to school, I felt anything but thankful.
My school resembled a castle, with pointed rooftops and huge walls enclosing
the school so that no one could enter our school that didn't belong. Thanks to
the close relationship my parents had with the Dean of the school I didn't have
to park with all the other students but rather up in the VIP section that was
right next to the school's entrance, saving me from having to walk.
I pulled out my class schedule, looking it over to see what I would be studying
for the next few months. English, math, science, art, physical education, and
history. Not looking where I was going I ended up crashing into someone.
"Fucking hell." A deep voice cursed.
I look up only to see none other than the scariest student attending Woolridge
Academy, Min Suga. His brown eyes pierced darkly into mine as he attempted to
wipe off the coffee that had spilled onto his blazer, his other hand running
through his mint green hair in an agitated motion. "I-I'm sorry...I didn't see
you." I fumble around in my school bag for my little bag of tissues, quickly
handing them over to Suga.
He takes them from me without saying a word, the anger still evident in his
eyes as he dabs at the giant wet spot.
"Leave your blazer with me and I'll take it after school to the dry cleaners."
I offer to him, reaching out to take it off of him.
He immediately slaps my hand away, "I don't need help from the likes of you."
He sneers, tossing the used tissues at my feet before sauntering away.
I watch as he makes his way over to an orange haired student that instantly
begins to crack up over Suga's ruined blazer. I was always amazed at the way
that Park Jimin could literally do anything to Suga and not face the same
consequences as the rest of the students that got in his way. I bend down to
pick up the discarded tissues, throwing them into a nearby trashcan before
making my way to my first period, math.
The day dragged by slowly, just like every other one had since I began school
here. Familiar faces continued to stop me, asking how I had been over the
summer, when I could hang out, what teachers I had, keeping me in the know of
who hooked up with who, a few girls hinting around that they wanted me to ask
them out, and finally it was time for lunch. This was usually the only chance
through out the day when I could finally get a moment of peace, since I ate at
the cafeteria with all the intellectual students that were just too smart to be
considered popular. My friends never understood why I didn't leave campus to go
eat lunch with them but chose not to say anything in fear of upsetting me.
After all, I was greatly admired here at the school and my parents owned the
best place to hang out at after school.
The smell of pizza, freshly baked bread, fresh fruit, and a few other scents
hit me the moment I stepped into the somewhat crowded cafeteria. I never
ordered anything to eat, I simply drank a banana and strawberry smoothie to
hold me down until I was done with my classes so that I could go home and make
myself a meal. 
I had just taken a seat at an empty table when someone slid into the seat
across from me, the first thing catching my eye was her breasts about to fall
out of her shirt. I didn't have to look up to know the blonde haired, blue
eyed, too much make up wearing cheerleader sitting in front of me was Layla
Madison. She was not only the captain of the cheerleaders but also the daughter
of my parent's top client, which meant I had to do my best to keep her happy.
"Hello there, Layla. How was your summer?" I ask, taking a sip from my
smoothie. 
She reaches over and takes the drink from my hands, her eye lashes fluttering
as she took a seductive sip. "It was lonely without you in it, how was Paris?"
I eye the straw that she had her lips around wondering how many males she had
been with. I had lied and told all my friends, including my parents, that I was
going to be away on vacation at Paris for the summer but in reality I had ended
up renting a room in a hotel far from where I lived and read books or played
video games to pass the time. 
I shrug my shoulder, "It was great." I had never been to Paris, nor did I
ever plan to. Before I had been...before I had been assaulted when I was
younger, I had dreams of visiting the entire world with someone special. Now, I
could barely visualize anywhere that wasn't my bed.
She puts her arms on the table, leaning closer to me while also pushing her
breasts together to make them look even bigger, "Did you buy me anything while
over there?"
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. "No, I didn't see the point. You already
have a lot of stuff."
She pouts, "It's the thought that counts, Jeon."
I would never understand why everyone, including teachers, called me by my last
name. I smile at her, hoping it doesn't look too strained as I put a hand on
hers, "Sorry, I'll make sure to bring you something back on my next trip."
She grins, shaking her head, "No, silly, you'll let me know where you're going
before you leave so that we can go together."
The thought of being alone with her was enough to make me nauseous.
Fortunately, someone sliding into the seat beside me saved me from having to
answer her. I looked to my right, surprised to see Park Jimin staring right
back at me with a gleaming look in his eye. I would never understand why this
kid always seemed to be in such a perfect mood despite the way he was treated
at this school. "Can I help you?" I ask.
He nods, handing over the ruined blazer from earlier this morning, "He would
probably kill me if he knew I gave this to you but I couldn't help but overhear
you say that you would take this to the dry cleaners. He's too stubborn to let
anyone help him, but there's no way he could afford getting this fixed and he's
already gotten a detention for not following the dress code."
Right away I feel guilty for having caused Suga problems but before I can
apologize Layla scoffs, dragging both of our attention to her. "Don't you two
get detentions everyday for your unusual hair color?"
The gleaming look disappears for a moment, replaced with displeasure, but is
soon back to looking cheerful, "Yes but that's on our terms. Why should we
serve a detention from someone else's wrong doing?"
Layla looks like she's about to start arguing with him but I quickly intervene,
"I'll make sure to get this stain removed. Is there a number I can contact you
with so that we can meet up tomorrow morning so that I can give it back?"
Jimin pulls out his phone, handing it over to me so that I can punch in my
number. I hand it back once I'm finished, shocked to see Jimin beaming
with delight, "Jungkook...I like labeling people with nicknames on my phone so
I'll put you under as...hmmmm....Kook? Kookie?" He stands up, continuing to
mumble nicknames under his breath as he makes his way out of the cafeteria.
"What a fucking weirdo." I hear Layla growl but I'm too preoccupied with
Jimin's retreating figure, wondering what the hell I was doing getting myself
tangled up with the worst students at this school.
The rest of the day went by in a blur with more teachers asking us how our
summer was, briefly going over what we would be doing for the next few months,
and then allowing us time to speak with other classmates. It was my last class
of the day, English, when Brett Peterson plopped into the seat beside me. I
already knew the moment I entered this class and saw a mixture of Brett and a
few other football players along with Suga, Jimin, and their close friend
Hoseok that this was going to be an interesting class. Suga had glared at me
the second I sat down, perhaps knowing what Jimin had done and if it had been
up to me I wouldn't have sat so close to them but it had been the only seat
available. Thankfully a confrontation hadn't happened and the three of them
were in a deep conversation with one another.
"Hey man, how've you been?" Brett asked.
The question had become irritating at this point. "Good, and you?"
He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, "Oh you know...had some fun picking up a
few chicks at the country club. Guess what? You know Claudia Romero? We hooked
up." He said smugly.
Claudia Romero was the smartest girl here. She always had the highest test
scores, always busying herself with studying. The cheerleaders immediately took
a dislike to her and the jocks went into a frenzy with betting who could get
into her pants first. I wanted to deny that there was no way a smart girl like
Claudia would ever sleep with someone like Brett, regardless if he was good
looking with his spiky brown hair and green eyes, but I knew better than to
judge someone based on their reputation. I was absolutely far from being
perfect, yet that was how everyone seemed to see me as.
"Wow, you scored big time, huh?" I said, not really sure if I should
congratulate him or not.
He took it as a compliment, fiercely nodding with joy, resembling a child who
had just gotten the toy he had always asked for. "What was your mom doing in
Dean Vigil's office? Are you in some kind of trouble?" He asked, his face
serious.
I inwardly groaned. I try to play it off like it's no big deal, "You know my
parents are close to them, she always stops by for a quick chat."
He nods like it makes sense, "Yeah, just thought I'd let you know that there
are...rumors."
My stomach churns and my palms begin to sweat, "There's always rumors going
around."
He seems unconvinced but changes the topic to a football game he has coming up.
After what feels like forever the bell rings, signaling our dismissal.
I eventually make my way back to my car, sighing in relief after I have shut
the door between the rest of the world and myself. I crank up the air
conditioner as the day's heat continues to blaze hotly. Since we start school
on August 22nd the summer heat has us all melting by the time the day ends.
Before I know it I'm sitting in front of the well-known dry cleaning service in
my city with Suga's blazer in my hands. I couldn't help but notice the smell of
cigarettes which had never been appealing to me but since it was mixed with
what could only be described as Suga's scent it was downright amazing, so much
so that I shocked myself by burying my nose into the soft material. I was even
more stunned when I realized I was half hard in my pants. When was the last
time that had happened? I blamed it on the fact that Suga had feminine features
along with the view that Layla presented to me today. After adjusting my pants
I dropped the blazer off with the cleaner, informing me to come back in two
hours.
I decided while I was around the shops to pick out a few new t-shirts and maybe
a couple of jeans. 
"Jeon?" My mother's voice sounded startled as she bumped into me at a clothing
store.
It only took my eyes to wander to the person beside her to realize why
she seemed flustered. It had never been openly discussed between us what was
going on between them but I was no idiot and neither was she. "Hey, mom. Just
stopped by to pick up some clothes."
Dean Vigil, or rather David Vigil since he recently gave me permission to call
him by his first name, shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably, "Hey Jeon, how
as school?"
"It was great, Mr. Vigil." I said before turning my attention back to my
mother, "Well, I'm going to go now." I leaned in close, giving her a hug only
so that I could whisper into her ear, "I'd be careful, mom. Rumor has it you've
been spending a lot of alone time with Mr. Vigil." I don't wait around for her
response and begin to make my way towards the back of the store where the men's
clothing was at.
I barely catch my mom muttering how she had to cancel her plans for the night
because an important dinner meeting came up at the country club.  
Later on that night I laid on my bed thinking of the days events as the hours
continued to tick by. It had already passed one in the morning and my
parents still hadn't returned home which only meant that there had been an
after party after dinner. It was already hard for me to sleep because of my
nightmares, but it was almost impossible for me to sleep when no one was home.
Thoughts of someone breaking in...of himbreaking in clouded my mind. In time I
found myself drifting in and out of consciousness, my last coherent thought of
a smiling orange haired boy with a minty green haired boy tagging along close
behind him.  
***** Chapter 2 *****
Jeon...
Jeon come out and play...
Be a good boy and help me out, okay?
Just like that Jeon...
I sat up in bed with tears streaming down my face, my nails digging harsh red
lines into my arms as my body continued to tremble. I bit down on my bottom lip
as hard as possible in hopes of being able to hold down the bile that was
rising rapidly in my throat. I hugged my knees to my chest, burying my face as
I chanted over and over again that I was no longer in that situation, I was
safe. After thinking of my math homework, how Brett had managed to sleep with
Claudia, and other nonsense that I really didn't care about but still helped me
differentiate my dreams from reality, I was finally able to calm down enough to
look over and see what time it was.
4:45 a.m.
Too early to get up and get ready for school...but there was absolutely no way
I would be able to go back to sleep. The urge to run until my body felt sore
was tempting but I couldn't risk any of my neighbors seeing me at this time,
what would they think? Thankfully I had a bathroom attached to my room and at
the moment a nice cold shower sounded too good to pass up on.
I let the icy cold water waken me up further, making sure to scrub my skin
until it was practically red to make sure I was truly clean from those dirty
hands. For some reason though, as I looked at the suds making its way down the
drain I began to see a trail of blood mixed with water also make its way in
swirls down the drain. I saw my ten year old self huddled in a corner of the
shower as blood left the lower half part of his body. I wanted to scream at him
to go downstairs and show his parents the evidence, to say something. Instead,
I watched quietly as he picked up the sharp razor and dig it deeply into first
his left thigh and then his right. My own fingers skimmed down to my thighs,
lightly touching the barely visible, yet still prominent scars. I remember
thinking that I would be able to feel something, anything, if I did this.
Looking into the lifeless eyes of my ten year old self, I realized the only
thing I had done was cause myself more pain. I ended up taking longer than I
had anticipated in the shower so that by the time I had gotten out it was
already time for me to start getting ready for school.
As I was fixing my tie a loud chime came from the phone I rarely used,
startling me. Layla and Brett would never get up before seven and the only
other people that had my phone number were my parents. I pick it up, surprised
to see an unknown number.
Hey there Kookie, it's Jimin. I plan to be at school in a few minutes if you
want to drop off the blazer at the front gate.
For some unknown reason I continued to reread the simple text, wondering why it
made something inside of me stir. I quickly texted back that I was on my way
over there, grasping Suga's blazer in my hands and taking off.
I pulled up into my parking spot and began to scope out for Jimin. It was still
fairly early with only a few students idling around, I should have seen him by
now. I shifted from foot to foot as thoughts of possibly being pranked clouded
my mind. Someone blurred passed me, the only thing I could see before he was
standing right in front of me was his minty green hair. "S-Suga." I say,
dumbfounded.
He glares at me but there is none of the familiar anger behind it. He bites the
inside of his cheek before extending his arm out in my direction.
It takes me a moment to realize that he was waiting for me to hand over the
blazer still clutched in my hands. I give it to him, scratching the back of my
head awkwardly, "I'm really sorry about yesterday."
He puts his arms inside the jacket, "All is forgiven, make sure to watch where
you're walking next time."
I nod vigorously, "Of course."
We stand there quietly for a moment before Suga reaches into his pants pocket,
pulling out a lighter and cigarette. He places the flame against the end of the
stick before putting it in his mouth, inhaling deeply.
I can feel my eyes widen, quickly scanning to make sure no adults were around.
"You shouldn't be doing that on school property."
Suga exhales a puff of smoke, aiming to the side so that none of it hits my
face. "You gonna tell on me?"
I do my best not to follow the movement of his tongue as it swipes against his
chapped lips. What the fuck is wrong with me? "No, but someone else might."
He shrugs his shoulders, taking another huff, "Let them."
A part of me felt relieved that the feeling that Suga ensued in me was
admiration and not...not the other possibility. Surly the only reason I felt
nervous around him was because despite our height difference he was still
intimidating.
"Is there a problem here?" Brett's voice breaks whatever peace that had settled
between the two of us.
Suga's glare turns menacing as he glances at Brett. He drops the cigarette to
the floor before crushing it with his foot, sliding his hands into his pockets
as he turns and makes his way into the school.
All day the people around me were bursting with energy as word went around of
Brett's party. Everyone was going to be there since Brett threw the craziest
parties ever.
"Brett is so stupid for making his party on a Tuesday night." Layla complained
as she took another sip of my smoothie.
I shrug my shoulders, silently wondering if I was going to need to find a new
place to start eating at for lunch. "He said his parents were going to be away
for the night."
Layla rolls her eyes, "Yeah but who is going to want to drink tonight knowing
they have class tomorrow?"
I chuckle lightly, "Don't worry Layla, I'm positive that people will drink so
much that they'll black out and still go to school tomorrow morning."
"True, at least I know I will." She says, winking suggestively.
I chew on my lip as I begin to think of possible excuses for why I won't be
able to attend tonight. I'm in the middle of debating between using my parents
or calling later to say I felt sick when the sound of crying breaks my train of
thought. I look over to see Claudia bawling her eyes out into her best friend's
shoulder. When they realize that they've gotten the attention of most of the
cafeteria they grab their belongings and leave. "What was that about?" I
accidentally say out loud.
"Rumor has it that someone knocked her up." Layla whispers before taking an
obnoxiously loud sip from her drink.
I instantly think of Brett, the damn bastard. There was no way he was going to
ever go public with a girl like Claudia. He would most likely try to pay her to
keep her mouth shut, but Claudia being the stubborn person she is would never
accept the money nor would she even think of abortion. She would either put the
child up for adoption or raise it herself. My stomach sank to see such a good
person in such a distressed state and as much as I wanted to completely blame
Brett for this, I was slightly angry with Claudia herself. Of all the girls
that went to this school I had always thought that she would never be able to
fall for such phony words that Brett spewed. I realized at a young age that I
was terrible at judging people, so I don't know why this surprised me.
"What do you mean you can't go?" Brett asked as we waited for our English
teacher to show up.
I sigh, "My parents are going to be home tonight so I can't-"
"Wait, hold up, I thought your parents were going out for dinner with my
parents?" Brett's friend-Jake I believe-butted in.
Damn it Jake, why couldn't you keep your mouth shut? "O-Oh...really? I guess
I'll be able to go then..."
Mrs. Anderson walks in, ending all the conversation going around. "Alright
class, listen up." She starts handing down papers at the front of each row.
I read over it after the person in front of me hands it over, noticing that it
was a group paper on crime topics. Everyone immediately started talking to
their friends and I dreaded the thought of being stuck working on something
with Brett.
Mrs. Anderson raises her hands, "Now don't go getting all excited, I'm the one
picking the partners." Everyone groans at the news and I silently pray that I
end up with someone smart. She begins to read off a list that was on her
clipboard and I inwardly thank her for partnering Brett with Jake. "Suga
and Hoseok." She continues, leaving Jimin with a pout on his lips as Suga
and Hoseok snicker at him. "Jungkook and Jimin."
My eyes glance in Jimin's direction to see his reaction but he's too busy
whispering to a furious looking Suga. I barely catch Suga whispering back that
he demands Jimin speak to the teacher after class to try and get a different
partner. I knew that I should probably feel insulted but if the roles had been
reversed I probably wouldn't want to be my partner either.
Jimin's eyes briefly find mine, a small smile playing at the corner of his
lips, "He's the only decent person in this class."
I wanted to argue that I really wasn't, that he really should listen to Suga
and find himself a new partner but then Mrs. Anderson was continuing the
lecture for the day ending all side conversations once again.
"Is this dinner tonight really important?" I ask my mother as she struggles to
insert her diamond earrings.
She is finally able to put them in, looking herself over from her full length
mirror, "Very important, we are going to meet with our top clients."
I want to bang my head against the door frame knowing there was no way I could
ask for them to stay which meant I had to try and call in sick. I'm about to
head to my room when the door bell rings.
"Jeon, get that for me will you?" My mother asks as she applies more lip gloss
to her lips.
I open the door and am faced with Brett's smug expression, "Figured you'd try
to back out tonight so I came to drag you to the party myself."
"I haven't even gotten out of my uniform yet, just go to the party and I'll
meet you there." I lie.
He shakes his head, "No need, I can wait." He shoves passed me and plops
himself onto my couch, picking up the remote and begins to aimlessly surf
through the channels.
My mother steps out from her room with a smile plastered on her face,
"Oh Brett, what a surprise. How have you been?"
Brett grins at her, "I've been good, Mrs. Jeon. You're looking as lovely as
ever, big plans tonight?"
"Just dinner with a few clients, you boys doing something tonight?" She asks as
she reaches for her purse.
"We're going to go hang out at my house, my parents are away for the night and
Jeon said he'd keep me company." Brett lies without blinking an eye.
My mother nods, looking down at her phone and sending a quick text to someone,
most likely my father. "Okay you boys have fun, Jeon I expect you in bed by
twelve though." She kisses my cheek on her way out the door.
Brett tosses a couch pillow at me after the door closes behind my mother,
"Hurry up Jeon, I can't be late to my own party."
I make my way up to my room slowly, every step heavier than the last. The
thought of being around drunk teenagers pressing against one another left me
feeling extremely nauseous. I throw on a plain black t-shirt, ripped
black jeans, and my favorite Timberland boots. By the time I make it back
downstairs Brett is already engrossed in some reality show.
The second we step foot outside of Brett's car we are met with the floor
buzzing in time with the music blaring inside. People are already well passed
drunk as we push through the sweaty bodies, making our way to the kitchen where
drinks were being served. I wasn't one for drinking but in situations like this
where I really needed to help calm myself down, a drink or two was necessary.
"Jeon!" Layla has to scream in order to be heard over the music as she saunters
over to me, swinging her arm over my shoulders. She presses her entire body
against my own, leaning close to my ear so that she doesn't have to keep
shouting, "Oh Jeon, I've been waiting for you for forever now." She cries.
I slightly push her away and she begins to sway, clearly just as drunk as
everyone else. "Well I'm here now."
She trips over her own feet, slamming me against the wall. She rubs her breasts
against my chest, "Jeon I want you." She pleads, beginning to grind herself
against me.
My heart is hammering against my rib cage, but not because I was trying my best
not to pounce on her. I shut my eyes tightly and try to relax myself so that I
can get into the mood. I was going to be eighteen years old soon and it was
about time that I start to forget about the past and become a healthy sexually
active teenager. What better person to practice with than the beautiful girl
standing before me willingly? However, thoughts of being sexual with her are
immediately erased when her hand lowers to the front of my pants.
Jeon...
Jeon let's play...
"N-No!" I yell, pushing her back. I must have pushed a little too hard because
she ends up falling onto her ass.
"What the fuck Jeon?" She shrieks.
I hurry to help her up but she slaps my hands away, "I'm sorry Layla, I-I'll be
right back, okay?" I step around her and search for Brett. I had to get over
this stupid fear, I hadto. I knew there was no way I was going to be able to do
it alone and alcohol took too long to make me buzzed. I find Brett with his
face crushed against a red heads face and although I don't want to be that
person to ruin the moment, I find myself tapping him on the shoulder.
He looks over with an annoyed expression but once he sees its me he smiles,
"Hey Jeon, enjoying yourself?"
I fake a smile and nod, "Yeah...I was just wondering...my friend needs
something to help her relax...do you have something?"
Brett throws his head back and laughs, patting me on the shoulder, "Damn Jeon,
didn't know you were that type of person. Yeah, I gotta a lil something for
your friend." He says, handing over two little white pills with a wink.
I quickly walk away, heading upstairs to find a bathroom. Once I've locked
myself inside I tip my head back and swallow the pills, downing the rest of my
cup of beer along with it. I sit on the edge of the tub and wait for it to take
effect. Soon my entire body starts to feel weird, my muscles relaxing and
becoming heavy. It begins to become harder and harder for me to keep my eyes
open. What the fuck did Brett give me? I attempt to stand but my legs don't
hold up my weight and I end up falling to the floor. With shaking fingers I
pull out my phone as my heart pounds painfully in my chest as anxiety starts to
overcome me. I call the first person on my contact list as my vision begins to
darken.
"Hello?"
"Brett's party...upstairs bathroom...please...save me." I beg before I'm
falling under.
                                      ***
My skull feels like its going to explode. My throat feels like its on fire and
my stomach churns violently. I curl into myself in hopes of relieving the pain,
groaning when the slight movement makes me want to vomit everything I've ever
eaten.
"Bring him some water." A voice whispers somewhere close by.
I hear quiet footsteps leave the room but even that was too loud. I know that I
should be panicking at the thought of strangers around me but I couldn't open
my eyes without feeling like the bright lights were going to cause my eyeballs
to melt. I hear the sound of the person reentering the room, their body causing
the bed to dip and before I know what's happening I begin to vomit everywhere.
"Fucking hell." The person is off of the bed in a flash.
Somebody else takes that persons spot and starts to rub soothing circles onto
my lower back, gently whispering for me to just let it all out.
I carefully open my eyes after the pressure in my stomach has slightly
lessened. I'm met with a pissed off Suga and just by glancing down at his pants
that were now ruined with my vomit I could understand why he was mad. Sitting
beside me was a very concerned Park Jimin who still had his hand against my
back. I was confused. I was beyond confused. Instead of asking them the typical
questions of where I was or what had happened, I couldn't help but wonder why
the hell I wasn't flinching away from Jimin's touch. "Jimin..." I don't even
explain to him what I am going to do before I grab ahold of his hand and press
it firmly against my cheek.
He and Suga look at me as if I have grown a third head.
Nothing.
I place his hand in the middle of my chest.
Nothing.
I lower it to my stomach.
Nothing.
Before I can place it anywhere else Suga is yanking me off the bed by the
collar of my shirt, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I-I'm dreaming, aren't I? That's the only possible explanation for this." I
say, gesturing to Jimin.
"Be gentle with him, Yoongi. The drugs are probably still messing with him."
Jimin warns.
I shake my head, "This is a dream. God...I wish I could dream forever...I feel
so...free...Like I can do anything I want to." I say, and just to test it I
press my lips firmly against Suga's.
He instantly reels away from me, but not before I can memorize just how soft
his lips were. He shoves me away from him and I end up landing onto  the bed
next to a cackling Jimin while Suga wipes at his mouth, his expression
disgusted. Jimin pats at my back gently as I rest my head on his lap, wrapping
my arms around his waist to keep him in place. "I want to sleep."
Suga scoffs, turning on his heels and walks into another room attached to this
one, the sound of water running catching my attention.
"You can sleep after we give you a bath and change you into some fresh clothes,
okay?" Jimin proposes.
"Okay." I mumble, letting Jimin help me to the bathroom where Suga is fiercely
brushing his teeth. I can't help but grin at him as he shoots me a death glare
through the mirror.
Jimin runs a bath for me, helping me undress until I'm standing in nothing but
my boxers. "Should I leave this on?" He asks, tugging at the waistband of my
boxers.
I shake my head, my body suddenly feeling extremely hot and sweaty. I step out
of them and lean on Jimin as he helps me into the bath.
"I'm going to be right back, okay? I'm going to go help Yoongi fix the bed."
Jimin says, carefully placing my head back so that it's resting against the
shower wall.
As I continue to sit in the warm water my brain slowly starts to acknowledge
that this isn't a dream. I still feel slightly disoriented but memories of
Brett's party start to seep back into my mind. My anxiety attack with Layla,
Brett handing me the pills, me calling Jimin on the phone...oh fuck. Oh fuck.My
hand reaches up to touch my lips as the realization that I kissed Min fucking
Suga finally sinks in. "Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh man...shit..." I try to pull
myself out of the tub but my limbs still aren't working correctly.
"What are you doing?" Jimin asks, returning by my side.
I can't look him in the eye. I place my hands over my penis, suddenly
hyperaware of just how naked I was in front of a classmate I rarely ever spoke
with.
"How was it, Kookie? How did it feel to kiss a man?" Jimin teases, clearly
aware that I was starting to come back to my senses.
"Where am I? What time is it?" I ask.
Jimin looks at his watch, "It's a little pass four in the morning, you're at
our place."
I reach over and grab ahold of my pants, searching through the pockets until I
find my phone. "My mother is going to be so pissed-" I stop midsentence when
I'm met with a blank screen. No missed calls. No text messages. I wish I could
say I was surprised, but my parents were rarely home these days. She had most
likely gone over to spend the night with David and my father was most likely
with Amy. I toss my phone back onto the pile of clothes.
"You can crash here for the night, Yoongi and I can take the couch." He offers,
handing me a towel.
I shake my head, "You two have done enough, I can walk home."
Jimin frowns, "After having been drugged? Do you plan to report this?"
I shake my head.
"Why? Who knows what would have happened if we hadn't shown up." Jimin scolds.
His words leave me feeling bitter. If only someone could have said that to me
sooner. "I took the pills, Jimin. I thought they would help me relax, I didn't
know they were roofies." I stand up and take the towel from Jimin, wrapping it
around my still numb body.
"Stay here, at least for a little bit more...I can tell you still aren't
completely there, Jungkook." Jimin pleads.
He's right, there was no telling what would happen if I tried to walk home.
"Only if you let me sleep on the couch."
He grins, "If that's what you want. I'll bring you some clothes."
I exit the tub, leaning myself against the wall for support. Jimin reappears
shortly with some shorts and a t-shirt. I thank him before putting the clothes
on. The shorts are a little too short for my long legs and the shirt is a
little snug but in that moment I felt absolutely grateful towards them that
there was no way I was going to complain.
Jimin and I leave the bathroom and I catch a glimpse of Suga sitting with his
back to us on the bed. "Yoongi I'm going to go put Kookie's clothes and the
blankets in the washer, can you set up the couch for him?"
Suga sighs heavily, staying at his spot long after Jimin has left. I notice
that they had changed the bed sheets, my cheeks heating up at the memory.
"You're blushing." Suga says, suddenly standing near me.
"N-No way." I deny, even though my eyes straightaway fall onto his lips.
"I can still taste your vomit in my mouth." Suga growls, most likely seeing
where my attention was at.
I bite my lip, looking anywhere but him, "I'm really sorry about that, Suga. I
don't know what I was thinking."
He walks passed me and I am quick to follow. He brings extra blankets from
where they were being kept in a closet and nicely arranges them on the couch so
that I'll be able to sleep comfortably. "Was I your first?" He asks as he grabs
pillows from the closet.
I'm taken aback by the question. "W-What?"
He looks over his shoulder at me as he continues to make a makeshift bed on the
couch, "Was I your first kiss?"
I chuckle nervously, "What makes you think I haven't kissed other people
before?"
He's standing right in front of me in a flash, his face a few inches away from
mine, "Either those drugs really messed with your ability to function properly,
you've never been kissed before, or you're a terrible kisser."
"The drugs..." I say, but we both know I'm lying.
He steps away from me and it isn't until there is room between us that I
realize I had been holding my breath, "Get some rest." He orders, walking back
into his bedroom.
Later on when the house is quiet I lie on the couch with my finger tips pressed
against my lips. Was it really only admiration that I felt for Suga? It had to
be. It hadto be. There was no way I was gay...absolutely not. So why could I
only think of having those lips back against my own?
***** Chapter 3 *****
My feet thudded painfully against the floor as I forced my legs to carry me
further and further away from the intoxicated man wielding a hammer in his
hand, blood dripping from the pointy tips. "Jeon! Jeon you get back here or I
swear I'll kill you!" He shouted so loud that his voice carried over the
popping noises of fireworks being fired off. I ran passed smiling faces that I
grew up with, their eyes glued to the bright light crackling in the dark night
sky as the fourth of July parade went on. It was in that moment that I realized
just how alone...just how insignificant my life really was. All these people
with stories of their own would continue to live their lives undisturbed even
if my own story ended. They would continue to smile, to cry, to eat and sleep,
to love and hurt, and I would be a fleeting memory far in the back of their
minds, most likely never to resurface again. I held onto my left arm as blood
oozed from the wound that the hammer had created after my father had hit me
with it. He said my mother's cheating was my fault. That I had someone ruined
the love my parents shared for one another, that if I had never been born than
my mother would have never met Mr. Vigil. He was beyond drunk, my mother had
left on a date with Mr. Vigil and I had been playing video games with some of
my online friends when my father had entered my room. I had been oblivious to
the hammer in his hand. I was fourteen years old and running for my life from
my father. That night I had gone to the emergency room and ended up getting
stitches. The nurses had questioned me about what had happened and I lied and
told them I had fallen while skateboarding. I knew they didn't believe me but
no further questions were asked and I kept quiet. It was the same year that I
had my first suicide attempt with my mother's painkiller pills. She had found
me and the paramedics were able to resuscitate me. She had looked at me with
such disdain that night, even going as far as telling me that she was beginning
to wonder if I was a mistake. She was furious that I had tried to take my life,
calling me spoiled. What did I have to be depressed about? She had paid the
people that had helped to keep their mouths shut, worrying endlessly that her
reputation would be ruined if people found out her child had mental issues. I
had never cried as hard as I did that night. 
"Jungkook? Jungkook!" The urgency in Jimin's voice woke me instantly. 
His face was etched with worry as he looked down at me. I slowly sit up,
uncomfortable with such a look directed at me, "What's wrong?" 
A scoff from Suga grabs my attention. He's standing by his bedroom door way
with an irritated look on his face, hair tousled and sticking out in different
directions, "What's wrong? Maybe the fact that you practically woke everyone in
the vicinity up with your shouting." 
"Yoongi, be nice. Everyone is already awake at this time, we're probably the
only ones sleeping in at this time. Kookie, are you okay?" Jimin asks, his
thumb brushing away stray tears that I hadn't noticed were freshly plastered
against my cheeks. 
This wasn't good. They would probably use this as blackmail later, perhaps even
having taken pictures of me sleeping in their house to show everyone. I push
his hand away, standing on shaky legs as I brush off the nightmare, "I'm fine,
just a bad dream. What time is it?" I ask as I reach down to the pile of
clothes nicely folded at the edge of the couch to start putting them back on. 
"Almost twelve." Jimin answers, beginning to make his way to the kitchen. 
I blanch as his words sink in. "T-Twelve? We're late for school! Why didn't you
wake me?" I scramble to put the remaining parts of my clothes on before shoving
my feet into my shoes. 
"What's the point of rushing now? There is less than two hours left. No point
in going." Suga complains. 
The sound of my phone ringing makes my stomach drop. I look down to see the
caller I.D. and sure enough its my father. I close my eyes for a second, taking
a deep breath to mentally prepare myself before pressing the accept button. 
"Where the fuck are you Jeon? Why do I have the school up my ass asking where
you're at? You have never missed a day of school in your life!" My father yells
loud enough that I know Jimin and Suga can hear. 
"I'm sorry, sir. I wasn't feeling well so I decided to sleep in..." I attempt
to explain but his voice overlaps mine as he continues to shout. 
"Do you realize how bad this makes your mother and I look? Now tell me where
you are because I know you aren't home, I already checked your room." He
seethes. 
Thoughts of him entering my room while I was unaware begin to cloud my mind and
I flinch at the ghostly pain. "I stayed at a friend's house. I'll be home
soon." I promise. 
"Be home in an hour, get dressed and ready. We have a very important dinner to
attend to tonight with the wedding planners, we plan to seal the deal with them
tonight. They have a daughter, make sure to entertain her." He says, the venom
still evident in his voice but a hint of stress could also be heard. 
I don't even have time to reply before the sound of a click ends our
conversation. I shove my phone into my pocket, avoiding eye contact with the
curious looks from both Jimin and Suga. "I'm going to be going now...thank you
for taking care of me...it means a lot. If either of you ever need help, I'm in
your debt." I say as I make my way towards the front door. 
A hand grabs my wrist, halting my movements. "You can't leave without eating
first. Don't worry, we'll drive you home." Jimin says, a smile adorning his
face. 
I grab onto his hand, prying it off of me. "You two have done enough, I don't
want to be anymore of a burden."  
Suga shoves passed both of us, heading to the small table, "Just sit down and
eat before I post on Facebook that Jeon Jungkook kissed me last night." 
My cheeks burn but whether from embarrassment for my barbaric actions or anger
that Suga could now hold this against me I wasn't sure. I plop into the seat
beside him and make a point to show him that my glare is directed at him. He
simply stares back with such a look of indifference that its infuriating. 
Jimin beams, "I made bibimbap." 
Bibimbap? The answer to my question is quickly placed in front of me, a bowl
filled with hot steaming white rice along with an egg and assorted vegetables,
its scent causing my stomach to growl. 
"Well don't just stare at it." Suga says, rolling his eyes before taking a
large spoon full bite. 
Although Jimin's unwavering stare as I pick up my spoon to take a bite is
unnerving, I can't help but shove a large amount into my mouth. The second the
flavor hits my tongue I moan, shutting my eyes as I savor the taste. 
Jimin is smiling so hard that his eyes have turned into little crescent moons.
"I'm so glad that you like it Kookie." 
"Like it? I love it." I say, my mouth full as I continue to stuff my face. 
"Don't talk with your mouth full, you'll choke." Suga grumbles. 
Jimin swats at his arm playfully, "It wouldn't kill you to compliment my food
once and awhile. This is such a basic meal yet look at how happy Kookie
looks." 
I know that I should be eating slow, especially with how sensitive my stomach
still felt from the pills I had taken the previous night, but I couldn't recall
a time when I had eaten a homemade meal that wasn't my sandwiches or other
frozen foods that I bought myself. Restaurant food couldn't top the master
piece that Jimin had made for me. 
"It's good food, Jimin." Suga says, his voice monotone as he continues to eat. 
Jimin pouts before eating his own bowl. 
"I can't remember the last time I ate this much." I say without thinking, too
busy with the happy feeling that was consuming me. 
Jimin and Suga look at me with confusion, after all the bowl really wasn't that
big. 
I pause my chewing when I notice they're staring. "I...I just don't get hungry
that often." I explain. 
The rest of the meal is quiet, but not the kind of quiet that demands to be
filled. We are able to enjoy our food comfortably with one another until every
last grain of rice has disappeared. A part of me wondered if this was how all
meals were eaten when part of a family. I had always ended up eating alone.
True to their word, Suga and Jimin offer to give me a ride home. After stepping
out of their house...motel. They lived in a small motel. Looking around I could
tell that we were on the outskirts of town, in the run down city named Clinton.
I follow Suga and Jimin to their car, a well kept white 90 Honda Accord Wagon. 
"Wow, this thing is ancient." I say, patting the hood. 
Jimin frowns, "It runs well. Not all of us can afford BMW's." 
"I-I didn't mean it as an insult...if anything I really like your car. I'm into
old cars." I reply, hoping that he can hear the sincerity in my voice. 
Suga slings a duffle bag over his shoulder, pointing to a near by bus stop,
"Jimin, take Jungkook home. I'll catch a bus to work, okay?" 
Jimin nods, catching the car keys that Suga tossed his way. Jimin and I settle
in the car, watching as Suga jogs over to the bus stop. It was then that I
noticed I had never seen them in anything that wasn't their school uniform.
Jimin wore a loose white muscle shirt, showing off his arms along with black
shorts and black sneakers that presented well-toned legs. His orange hair was
still a mess but I had never seen messy look so good before. Suga stood at the
bus stop wearing all black, despite the summer heat. He wore a black leather
jacket that I instantly took a liking to seeing him in along with a black t-
shirt and black leather pants with matching black shoes.
"Where are we going?" Jimin asks, breaking my train of thought.
I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he had already asked more
than once. My face heats up as I realize I was not only checking Suga out but
also Jimin, "Um...I'll give you my address."
The ride to my house was silent but the kind of silence that was comfortable
just like when we had eaten together. Jimin kept apologizing for how hot it was
inside since the air conditioner was broken and lowering the windows down
didn't help much since the wind was also hot. "Stop apologizing, it's fine. You
can't control the weather." I say after his fifth apology. 
He wipes sweat off his brow as we sit at another stop light. "I know I just...I
feel bad. We're both melting in here." 
"Want to make it up to me?" I find myself saying. 
He glances at me momentarily before turning his eyes back on the road, the
light flashing green. "How?" 
"Share a drink of lemonade with me once we reach my house." I reply, a weird
giddiness eating me up inside at the idea of sharing a nice cold cup of
lemonade with my classmate. 
Jimin chuckles, "That sounds good to me." 
I let out a breath of relief when I don't see either of my parent's cars in the
drive way, just my own. We exit the car and make our way into my house where
we're met with ice cold air, the both of us taking a moment to cool off. "Come
in, make yourself at home." I say as I head for the fridge to grab us glasses
of lemonade. Jimin plops himself into an empty chair at the dining table, his
eyes wandering around. 
"So tell me, if you guys live so close to Jefferson Academy, why are you
attending Woolridge?" Jefferson Academy was Woolridge's rival. For years the
two academies had unnecessary beef after an incident at a football game where a
Jefferson student was brutally beaten by some Woolridge seniors. Ever since
then the Jefferson students hated ours, threatening if any of us ever stepped
foot on their turf that we were goners. 
"That school isn't for Yoongi and I even though our appearances match the
students there, our minds don't." Jimin explains, taking a big sip of the
lemonade I had placed in front of him. 
"Aren't you worried about the people living around you seeing your Woolridge
clothing?" I probe, taking a sip for myself. 
Jimin shakes his head, "I know Yoongi looks badass and I don't, but I'm no
delicate flower Kookie." 
I glance at the muscles his arms are producing and smile, "No...I guess you
aren't." 
Jimin leaves shortly after finishing his drink, the both of us making plans to
hang out at my house after school one day so that we could work on our English
project together. Normally dinners like these were something I dreaded to look
forward to, but the thought of hanging out with someone as down to earth as
Jimin again had me in high spirits. 
Hours later I'm waiting inside my car for my parents to show up since they told
me not to go into the country club until they arrived, wanting people to think
we all came together. Their logic never made sense to me, clearly people would
know we showed up separately since our cars would be parked out front. I watch
as the wedding planners, Mr. and Mrs. Manning, make their way into the county
club with their daughter Tiffany walking close behind them. She looked so
innocent with her nicely combed platinum blonde hair and pure jade colored eyes
but I knew better than that. A close look into her Facebook page and you could
find her wearing something completely opposite to her appropriate blouse and
skirt that she wore tonight. It would reveal how much she drank a week, what
new drug she was on, what new relationship she was in. 
My parents finally arrive, both glaring at each other for being late. They
hurry me into the county club where we are immediately seated with the other
family. My parents start up an easy going conversation with her parents and I
struggle all through dinner to try and figure out what to say to her but she
ends up doing most of the talking. We talk about the places she has traveled to
thanks to her parents job which made them move around a lot. We talked about
the different languages she knew since she was constantly going to school
abroad. We spoke about possible careers in the future, though both of us were
still unsure. After having dessert we decided to leave the adults alone to talk
and begin to walk around the large building filled with private rooms for other
business people to talk in. We find an empty room and decide to chat in there,
though a part of me was hoping she would want to head over to the arcade to
play some games, or outside to play golf or some other sport to kill the time.
What else was there left to talk about? 
It isn't until she shuts the door and slams her lips to mine in a haste that I
realize her intentions. We both pull away in pain since our teeth clashed
harshly against each other, "Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that." 
I take a step away from her, "It's okay...but please...don't do that again." 
She looks at me with astonishment. "Do you not like me?" 
"I'm seeing someone already." I lie. 
Her face softens, "I understand, and I'm sorry for being so forceful. Do you
want to head outside? Maybe we can go put our feet in the pool and talk some
more?" 
I smile, loosening my tie as I nod at the idea. We leave the room and begin to
make our way towards the back of the club when something in another room
catches my eye. I stop dead in my tracks as I take in the boy wearing a maid
outfit, his cheeks flushed with a mixture of anger and embarrassment as he
bends down in front of a group of business men to pick up shards of glass from
a cup one of the men must have dropped. The men laugh, sending insults at the
boy, calling him a faggot or queer or saying things like look at those pretty
cock lips. One man even went as far as sliding money into the boy's sock, his
fingers trailing seductively down his bare thigh. My blood boils at the sight.
Before I know what I'm doing I'm grabbing the man from the collar of his shirt
and slamming him against the wall, "Keep your fucking hands off of him." I
growl. 
The men look shocked, their mouths open wide, resembling a gaping fish. 
"J-Jeon...we were...we were just having some fun." The man said, trembling
underneath me. 
"This is your sick way of having fun? You there." I turn to look at the boy,
"Who told you to dress this way? We have a dress code here and this isn't it." 
The boy keeps his head down, his shaky fingers threading through his pitch
black hair. 
"Did these men put you up to this? If they did then they will be punished, not
you." I explain, hoping the boy will look at me and confess. 
Still, he keeps his face hidden, the only thing visible was his reddening
cheeks. 
Tiffany shifts on her feet, the movement catching my eye. "Tiffany, can you go
get James Fletcher for me, please? He should be down the hall from here, I need
to have a word with him." She doesn't say anything as she leaves the room. 
I release the man and take a step towards the boy but he instantly cowers away.
We all wait in silence until James and Tiffany barge into the room, James
looking at everyone, assessing the situation. "Jeon, what's going on?" 
"These men dressed one of our servers into a maid outfit, this man right here
was inappropriately touching him." I say, pointing to the man who I had slammed
against a wall earlier. 
James places a hand on the boy's shoulder, "I apologize deeply for this, I
promise if you continue to work for us something like this won't happen again.
As for you men, this kind of behavior will not be tolerated so I will have to
ask you to leave." 
I was angry that the only punishment these men were getting was being kicked
out, but I knew there wasn't much James could do without my father's approval
and we both knew dragging my father into this situation while he was in the
middle of a meeting was out of the question. Soon everyone, including Tiffany
who said she'd go fetch the boy some new clothes, left the room leaving the two
of us alone. "Why did you agree to wear this outfit?" I ask quietly, pulling
gently at the short sleeve of the dress. 
The boy doesn't answer, instead balling his hands into fists. 
"Won't you look at me?" I question, taking a step closer only for him to take a
step back. My stomach began to sink as I stared at the boy's slender fingers,
the way he bit down on his plump bottom lip harshly, and how despite trying to
cover his face I was still able to figure out who was standing before me. "When
did you have the time to dye your hair?" 
Suga tenses, his eyes slowly meeting mine. There was so much shame in his eyes
that I found myself pulling him to me, wrapping my arms around his small frame
tightly. 
"I like it. You look good with black hair." I say, rubbing soothing circles
into his back. 
His body begins to relax but he still won't look me in the eyes. 
"I'll make sure something like this never happens again, okay? Give me your
phone." When he doesn't move I move my arms down to his sides where I know his
outfit has pockets at. He squirms under my touch and I can't hold back the
laugh that escapes my mouth, "Min Suga are you ticklish?" 
He reaches into his pocket and slams his cell phone against my chest, his
familiar fiery eyes meeting mine. 
I grin, glad to see the Suga that I looked up to. I punched in my phone number
before handing him his phone back, "In case anyone here tries to give you a
hard time, call me." 
Suga glares at me, "Why? So you can black mail me later when you're in need of
help?" 
His words remind me of how I felt earlier today when I had woken up in their
home. I shake my head, "This...this is what f-friends are for...right?" 
The room falls silent as we both hold our breaths. Could we really call each
other friends? Sure we went to the same school but...we were from two
completely different worlds. "Look...you've been nice to Jimin and I and we
appreciate that but...let's face it Jungkook, we can't be friends." 
I sigh, running my hand through my hair in frustration, "Why not? Because I
live in a mansion and drive a BMW? Because you live in Clinton and work as a
server? Because we don't have the same friends at school? Screw that
stereotypical bullshit. We can be friends, it all depends if you want to or
not." 
Suga bites his lip, the movement catching my attention and I notice he's
wearing lip stick. "We'd ruin your reputation." 
Seeing Suga in this dress made me want to ravish him and in that moment I
realized I was no better than these high entitled assholes. I scoff, "I don't
give a fuck about my reputation anymore." 
"I don't mind hanging out with you, and I'm sure Jimin won't either but...only
if you agree that we see each other on the down low...no offense Jungkook but
Jimin and I also have reputations we need to upkeep." Suga said, using the back
of his hand to rub at the lip stick. 
All that did was smear the red color all over his pale skin, and fuck did it
look attractive. "I...I'm okay with that." No. No I didn't want to hide them,
nor did I want them to hide me. But more importantly I knew I shouldn't
associate myself with them, not when they both had me feeling confused. Yet I
knew that it would be impossible to stay away from either of them at this
point. They were like magnets that attracted me and no matter how hard I tried,
I found myself coming right back to them. 
"What are you thinking of, Jungkook?" Suga asks with a smirk on his lips. 
I hadn't noticed how close we had gotten, but we were now suddenly close enough
that I could feel Suga's hot breath against my face. "I..." 
"I brought him some clothes." Tiffany said, walking into the room with the
duffle bag I had seen him carrying earlier. 
I jumped back feeling guilty while Suga just thanked her and took the bag. 
"Jeon, our parents are looking for us, I think we should head back now."
Tiffany informed me, grabbing my arm. 
I nod, following her towards the door, "I'll talk to you later, okay?" 
We end up signing the deal with Tiffany's parents and then I'm free to go home.
I wanted to stop by and check on Suga but the staff informed me that James sent
him home so that he could rest. A part of me wanted to tell James what his wife
was up to, he didn't deserve what she was doing to him. But I didn't want to
risk getting in trouble with my father. 
As I drive home I can't help but feel a mixture of happiness and sadness. I was
happy that Suga was willing to be my friend, most likely Jimin too, but I was
sad that everyday I woke up I was only reminded that good people continued to
be treated like shit. 
My phone began to ring but since I was driving I put on my blue tooth. "Hello?"
I answer. 
At first I don't hear anything, but then I hear his voice. "Thank you...for
saving me." And then he hangs up. 
It was the shortest conversation I had ever had on the phone with anyone, but
it had meant so much to me. It was strange how the little things people did for
each other ended up mattering the most. I didn't know it then as I pulled up my
drive way with that stupid goofy grin on my face that this day would end up
being the one I loved the most, but also the one that would forever haunt my
dreams. 
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Notes
     This chapter has a pretty triggering part towards the end, and it
     also has a bit of smut, so please read this chapter with caution.
People were staring. I was used to it by now, what with everyone trying to be
my friend so that they could get benefits at the country club. But this was
completely different from their round eyes staring at me desperately for my
attention, for just a second of my time so that I would notice them. No...this
was the kind of staring that set me on edge, the kind that alerted me that I
had done something wrong and people had taken note. As I made my way to the
cafeteria for my daily smoothie I caught the end of a hushed conversation
between two friends, my name slipping passed their lips.
"Did you hear? Yeah...Jeon was seen with-" She cut off whatever else she was
going to say when she saw me approaching. "Oh, Jeon, how are you?" 
It made my skin crawl just how quick a person's face could change. How the
glint of mischief could instantly turn innocent with the single blink of an
eye, how their lips could go from cunning to curling into something angelic.
"I'm doing alright, and yourself?" 
"We're doing alright, thanks for asking. Um..we'll see you in math tomorrow."
The girls giggled before scurrying away to another corner so that they could
finish gossiping. 
My feet felt heavy as I reached the cafeteria door, my fingers brushing the
handle as the weight of their words settled deep inside me. I knew who they
were speaking of, everyone would know who they were speaking of. As if on cue,
the once mint haired boy and still orange flamed haired boy walked down the
hall quietly, their eyes glued straight ahead as people not so quietly sent
insults their way. It was selfish of me, really, to be asking for their
friendship. I knew what it would end up doing to them. People would talk. They
would be even more harassed for associating themselves with someone well-known
like myself. I had told Suga that we didn't have to act like this was some
bullshit stereotypical high school movie. But it was far more than that, this
was a harsher reality than the movies portrayed. People with power liked the
feeling of looking down on people like them, knowing that they had the upper
hand. They knew they could do whatever they wanted to Suga and Jimin and still
get away with it. In a sick way it boosted their egos being able to step on
someone. People knew how kind I was though, so I wouldn't be treated that way.
They would simply see me hanging out with them as charity. Yet, they would be
punished for it. 
So why was I reaching for the phone I rarely used? Why was I texting Suga and
asking if he and Jimin were okay? I should be hanging out with Brett or Layla,
showing people that I was just like them, that I also liked to show off my
money and status. I should be insulting Jimin and Suga, at least so others
would believe that they had no reason to fear that the two boys would take all
of my attention. 
We're fine...but are you? 
Staring at the words on my screen I knew then why I couldn't hang out with
Brett and the other athletes. I knew why I couldn't take advantage of Layla's
willingness to be with me. Never once had someone at this pathetic school asked
me if I were okay and actually meant it...until now. 
"Why'd you leave the party so soon?" Brett asked the second I sat down in
English. 
We were free to talk since our English teacher had to step outside to make an
important personal call. Thoughts of Brett's party leaves me feeling nauseous
as I think about what would have happened had I not called Jimin. "What makes
you think I left early?" 
Brett rolls his eyes, "Designated drivers, man. My parties might be crazy but I
don't need idiots getting themselves killed and then I get in trouble for it." 
I can tell that Jimin is listening to our conversation, perhaps worrying that
someone had seen him drag me out of the party. "I met this hot ginger and we
decided to leave early to have some fun of our own." I lie, winking at Brett. 
Brett takes a liking to what he hears. Of course he does, his mind was only
programmed for drugs, alcohol, sex, and money. He claps my back with a praising
smile, "Good for you, it's about time too. Was beginning to think you weren't
into chicks to be honest man." 
His words leave me unsettled. Mrs. Anderson reenters the room, ending all
conversations as she continues with her lecture. Yet her voice isn't loud
enough to drown out the words that continued to spin around and around in my
head for the rest of the period. I chewed on my lip nervously as I replayed my
kiss with Suga, the way I had looked and Jimin, and then later on when I had
seen Suga in that outfit. The idea alone that I could possibly be...possibly be
gay...was enough to make me want to bury myself deep into the earth. Everyone
attending this school was so conservative that if someone even breathed the
thought of liking the same gender then they were instantly shut out regardless
of how much money they had. When word about Claudia's pregnancy reached
everyone in town, her parents immediately placed her in a school for mothers
far away from here, and then they moved half way across the world from her. As
crazy as it sounds, it happened often. Last year a freshman hung himself in the
school bathrooms after a rumor that he had sex with a man went around. Liking
the same gender scared me shitless, but liking two people of the same gender
was overwhelming. So much so that I didn't think twice at pulling out my phone
and texting one of the many people I could not stand to meet me after class in
the student parking lot. 
Layla leaned against her silver Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren, her perfectly
manicured fingers tapping impatiently against her slender arm. Her lips widen
into a smile as she caught sight of me, waving her hands around sending her
Tiffany's bracelets clinking loudly, most likely hoping to get everyone's
attention. And she did. A girl like her always had a spotlight on her. "Jeon, I
missed you at lunch, where were-" 
I cut her off, pressing my lips firmly against hers. Her sticky cherry lip
gloss rubs off her lips and onto mine as I deepen the kiss, shutting my eyes
tightly as I do my best to push images of that man out of my mind. I grip a
hand full of her silky hair, my other hand resting on her hip so that I can
pull her closer. I break out into a sweat as I feel her tongue slide into my
open mouth, her other hand grasping the back of my neck. I want to pull away,
to shove her and then go home and wash my skin clean as I begin to picture a
man hovering above me, his large hands grabbing my arms and pinning them to my
sides as I continued to squirm under his hold. His grip was painful, but not as
painful as the feeling of him forcing himself into me. I screamed and cried and
he laughed. My lips falter in their movements as the memories become too much.
I break the kiss and rest my forehead against hers, keeping my eyes closed so
that the tears building behind them don't spill over. 
Loud hollering and cheering come from behind us. Layla laughs at the attention
brought to her but all I can do is numbly keep my face buried in her neck as
the sound of the man whispering how much he liked it, how much he knew I liked
it, echoed in my ears. 
A part of me was extremely glad that Jimin had called me over so that we could
work on our English project, but a big part of me worried that this was no
longer the right decision. The bright side was that I hadn't gone straight home
which would have most likely resulted in possible cuts being made but it wasn't
a guarantee that once I got home later tonight that it still wouldn't happen. 
I was greeted at the door by a wary Jung Hoseok. "H-Hi...I'm here to see
Jimin..." 
Jung Hoseok was a ball of sunshine around his friends but I had seen the
protective side of him when someone he disliked crossed the line. "He went to
the store, he should be back in a few minutes." Hoseok informed me, opening the
door wider so that I could step in. 
I take a seat on the leather brown couch I had previously slept on, letting my
fingers trail against the familiar cool surface as Hoseok walked to the fridge
to get us both water. "So do you live here too?" I ask. 
"No. He just freeloads here." Suga says, walking out of the bedroom in nothing
but a towel. 
I vaguely hear Hoseok defending himself by saying it isn't freeloading to want
to be in his friend's company but my attention is strictly on the expanse of
smooth skin glistening with droplets of water. Suga's skin was so flawless that
I was almost convinced that he was made of marble. His hair was also dripping
with water and his clean soapy scent wrapped around me. Suga stares at me with
a smug expression as my eyes finally meet his. I can feel my cheeks burn as I
look away from his...almost predatory stare that has me reacting in ways that I
shouldn't be. 
"Like what you see?" He whispers loud enough for my ears only. 
I gulp but my vision of his bare skin is soon blocked by Hoseok's outstretched
hand holding a cup of water out for me. 
"You planning on standing there naked for the rest of the night or are you
actually going to get ready for work?" Hoseok asks after I accept the cup. 
Suga rolls his eyes, "Just worry about getting started on our project, will
you?" He complains before retreating to his room to put on the country club's
servers uniform which consisted of a white dress shirt, a black vest, black
slacks, and black dress shoes. 
Not long after Suga mumbles a goodbye to the two of us before heading out the
door. I had worried that Hoseok and I would end up in awkward silence until
Jimin showed up, but he was surprisingly really easy to talk to. We spoke about
nothing and everything. Why were some people able to stand spicy foods more
than others? Why were some people allergic to certain things that other people
weren't? Why was the cafeteria food awful yet so expensive? I learned a little
bit more about him, how he and his dad owned a small restaurant that made
authentic Korean food and he told me to come try it some time, which I in turn
made sure to let him know I was dead serious on taking him up on his offer. If
it was anything like what Jimin had made me then I knew I was going to love it.
I learned that his mother passed away when he was five due to cancer, and that
he had an older sister who he didn't see often after she had gotten married. We
somehow end up talking about bucket lists and Hoseok had driving a sports car,
if not owning one, before he died. 
"I have a sports car, want to take it for a spin?" I ask as we stare at the
chipped paint on the wall in front of us. 
His eyes flash to mine with such a childish gleam that it reminded me of
children on Christmas morning. "What kind of BMW do you own?" 
"An i8, it's a newer model and I haven't really driven passed 75." I say,
fishing into my pocket for my keys before tossing them to Hoseok. 
He stares at them like he had just won the lottery before frowning, "I...um...I
don't know how to drive..." He replies, handing me back the keys. 
I push them back into his hold, standing from the couch and heading for the
door, "Then I'll teach you." 
Luckily for us the motel was vacant, with maybe three cars parked outside. This
made for the perfect practice ground for Hoseok to learn the basics. I
explained to him slowly what each little button and nob did, how to reverse,
how to set it in park and drive, how to turn the blinker on and how to maneuver
the wheel. Hoseok had never looked so serious before as he listened to my every
word. After a brief explanation I finally let him put the keys into the
ignition. 
"Now, before you set it on drive put your foot on the brake." I inform him,
watching as he does what I say. "Don't press your whole foot on the gas pedal,
it's very sensitive so lightly push on it." 
He does as I say but instantly brakes when he feels the car lurch forward. We
both chuckle as he tries again, this time managing to drive around the whole
parking lot effortlessly. "You're a natural." I compliment as he attempts to
make a U-turn. 
We've circled the parking lot five times before he decides to increase his
speed a bit. A big blur of silver runs passed the car and Hoseok swerves the
car, sending us straight into a street light pole. The sound of my airbags
releasing rang in my ears as my face smashed into the rather rough bag. 
"Fuck!" Hoseok curses as we both lean back into our chairs, our eyes meeting
with worry. 
"Are you okay?" I ask, noticing a small trickle of blood from above his left
eyebrow. 
"Are you?" He asks, pointing to my lip. 
I press a finger to the stinging pain on my lip, smearing the blood that had
formed over the cut. I take off my seat belt and Hoseok does the same, both of
us stepping out of the car to inspect our faces in the side mirrors. My cut
really wasn't that bad. 
The sound of bags being dropped caught our attention, Jimin's worried eyes
meeting ours as he took off in a sprint in our direction. "What the fuck? Are
you two okay?" He asked, patting my body down roughly before doing the same to
Hoseok. 
"We were before you started hitting us!" Hoseok responds, slapping Jimin's
frantic hands away. 
Jimin punches Hoseok in the arm, "You're lucky nothing serious happened or I
would have murdered you!" 
I can't help but laugh at Hoseok's irritated expression and Jimin's furious
one. Jimin then turns to me and punches my arm as well, catching me off guard. 
"I should strangle you for letting this happen in the first place." Jimin
growls, though his voice was more concerned than threatening. 
I put my hands up, staring at Jimin with mock innocence, "This was all Hoseok's
idea, he threatened to lock me outside if I didn't let him drive my car." 
Hoseok's eyes widen, his mouth gaping open as he tries to convince Jimin that
this was all my idea. As Jimin continues to scold him I can't help but grin,
despite the pain that it caused me. I had never felt so...light before. Is this
what it meant to joke around with friends? It was such a great feeling. I
wanted to feel this more often. 
After Jimin's pestering and our denying to go to the hospital Hoseok finally
looks at me with a different kind of worry in his eyes, scratching his head as
he takes in the damage of the car. The whole front was smashed in. It would
take some time to repair, along with a lot of money. "I'm really sorry about
this Jeon..." 
I shake my head, "Jungkook, call me Jungkook. And don't worry about it, I've
been thinking about trading this car in for a new one, this one only sits two,
I want one that'll sit more." I say, my eyes glancing to the both of them as I
picture going on a road trip with them. 
"Still...I should help pay for the damages...I can pay in installments..."
Hoseok resembled a puppy that had been caught peeing on the carpet. 
"It's fine Hoseok, I'm going to trade it in for scraps and then buy a new car."
I reassure him, moving passed them both so that I can climb into the drivers
seat. The airbags have deflated, and although its hard to see through the
cracked windshield, I still manage to park my car. 
Hoseok stills looks guilty, Jimin sharing his friend's distress as they watch
me exit the broken car. I sigh at their persistent feeling of shame, pointing
to the bags behind them, "You came make it up to me by carrying all those bags
up the stairs in under a minute." I challenge. 
Hoseok doesn't even wait for me to start counting, his body taking off into the
distance as he begins to gather the bags before running up the stairs. 
"You're bleeding." Jimin states, his fingers brushing very carefully over my
cut lip. 
It hurt but I found myself leaning into his touch. "Why are you always so
warm?" I find myself mumbling, burying my face into the crook of his neck like
I had done to Layla earlier, only his scent didn't repulse me. 
It was strange how quickly we became comfortable with skin ship. Jimin brought
his arms around me in an embrace, rubbing soothing circles into my back the way
I did to Suga the night before, emitting an exhausted sigh from me. He knew
that I wasn't seeking comfort because of the car. Earlier today when I had made
out with Layla I had caught Jimin's eyes among the crowd and I had seen the way
his eyes registered my distressed state. After driving off the school's
property I had pulled my car over and cried for an hour before Jimin had called
and asked me to come over and I knew he had heard the crack in my voice as I
withheld more tears. 
"I know I told you on the phone that I would...tell you why I behave weird
but..." My words trail on as I think of the man, my hands gripping Jimin's
shirt tightly to help ground myself. 
"It's okay Kookie. When you're ready to tell me, I'll listen. Don't force
yourself, okay?" Jimin replies, his thumbs gently caressing my cheeks as he
looked up into my eyes with such tenderness that I didn't think twice about
bringing my lips down to meet his. 
It was strange how soft his plump lips were. In all the stories I had read the
men were always described as having firm lips, but Jimin's were so round and
cushiony that I didn't hesitate to lick his bottom lip for permission to kiss
him more deeply. He opens his mouth and moans into the kiss, giving me the
perfect opportunity to slip my tongue inside. This was completely different
from Layla's kiss. Not because he smelled of cologne and not of perfume. Not
because his lips weren't coated in lip gloss. It was the passion I felt behind
the kiss. It was the emotions both our eyes held when we broke apart and panted
against each others face's. It was the feeling of wanting more. And not because
people were looking, nor because of the power my name held. Kissing Jimin was
pure and full of affection, fear,  and excitement. Kissing Jimin made me
realize what it meant when people said they felt butterflies in their stomachs.
It didn't mean that he was able to completely erase my memories, because as he
laced his fingers into my hair to bring my lips down to his, thoughts of the
man began to flood into my mind. He was able to, however, sense the sudden
tension, pulling away so he could calm me. 
"It's okay, Kookie, you're here. You're here with me, Jimin." He whispers, his
hands holding mine delicately. 
I wanted to feel disappointed that kissing Jimin, or even Suga, didn't
instantly wipe away my memory  of every bad thing that has happened. But this
wasn't a movie, so I had to accept that it was normal that these thoughts would
probably haunt me forever, regardless if I found my soulmate. I had just began
to calm down from my earlier panic attack only to feel another one building up
inside of me at the thought of someone seeing me with Jimin like this. I shove
Jimin away from me, my heart suddenly beating too hard in my chest, "W-What am
I doing?" 
"Calm down Kookie...it's okay. You...you kissed me and I kissed you back. You
like me, don't you?" Jimin asks, taking a tentative step towards me. 
I reel backwards, putting my hand on my chest in hopes of helping me breathe
more properly. My mind was racing. I fucking kissed Park Jimin. I kissed Min
Suga. And I liked  it. There was no fucking denying it. "Fuck, I feel so
confused." I cry, my fingers grasping my hair painfully as I tried to stop the
bile from rising in my throat. 
"Kookie, it's normal. Y-Yoongi didn't believe it at first either..." Jimin
attempts to walk towards me again but I take off before he can reach me. 
I throw myself into my car, locking the door before driving off. Min Suga was
gay, Park Jimin was gay, fuck was Hoseok gay too? Were they all together? My
father would murder me in cold blood if he found out I didn't kiss one, but
two men. 
Neither of my parents were home and for once I was grateful. I had barely made
it through the front door before I began to fall apart. When had I gotten so
emotional? I don't know how long I laid sprawled on the floor for when the
sound of someone ringing the door bell made me jump. I get up on shaky legs,
hoping that my face isn't red or puffy. 
Suga stares at me with concern when I open the door, his eyes briefly scanning
behind me. 
"No one's home. Come in." I say, moving aside so that he can walk in. I make
sure to glance around to see if anyone had seen him but no one was out at this
time. "How did you get here?" 
"Took the bus. Are you okay? Your car is...completely wrecked." Suga says as he
sits himself on the couch. 
I shrug, "I'm fine." 
"Jungkook...look at me." Suga says, his voice careful yet authoritative. 
I meet his soft gaze, biting my lip to keep myself from breaking down again.
"I-I'm not...I'm not gay Suga...and I don't care if you guys are, we can still
be friends...but I'm not gay." 
He grabs my hand, his thumb tracing circles onto the back of my hand, "You
don't need to put a label on yourself, Jungkook." 
His words only make me feel more confused, "I like it Suga. I like kissing you
two." I finally admit aloud, proving my point by diving forward to capture his
lips with my own. 
Suga tenderly holds my shoulders as we pull away from each other, still staying
close. "We like kissing you too." 
"Are you and Jimin..." I pause, hoping that he could answer my unspoken
question. 
"Yes we're together...but we both agreed that we...we feel something for you,
Jungkook. So don't be scared, because you are not alone." Suga kisses my
forehead. 
You are not alone. 
His words echo repeatedly. "This is why I think I like you two so much. For
years...Suga I've felt like such a freak for years. Then you walk into the
picture and suddenly I feel like I'm a human being again. I'm not perfect, I'm
far from the perfect boy these people paint me out to be...but you two show me
that it's okay to be a little fucked up." 
He kisses the corner of my mouth where my cut is at gingerly. "We're all a
little fucked up. We'll figure this out together, okay? The three of us." 
A tear slips from my eye, "You two won't want me after you find out why I'm the
way I am." 
Suga shakes his head, kissing the cheek where the tear slipped down from,
"We've seen how different you are from those people." 
"I'm dirty, Suga." I retort. 
Suga grabs my wrist, bringing us both to our feet, "Then let's get you into a
bath, I'm sure it'll help you feel-"
"I was raped and sexually abused by my father's friend for years." I blurt out.
Suga's hand drops from mine. I had never seen him looked more shocked before,
"W-What?"
I feel my body begin to tremble as saying the words that had never left my
mouth before starts to spill uncontrollably from my mouth, "I was ten years old
when my parent's left me in my father's friend's care. His name is Dennis
Humphrey, and he had been friends with my father long before I was even born.
They grew up together. I trusted him like a fucking fool. My parent's worked
often so they constantly left me with him and he..." My voice cracked as
everything, every little detail, came rushing back to me. "The first time he
simply took me a bath, it felt innocent enough that I didn't question why he
didn't leave, after all who needs their hand held when showering at ten? But I
trusted him." 
Suga remains quiet as I continue to speak. 
"The second time he touched me, and when I told him to stop he said that this
was normal, that boys my age did this kind of thing all the time." My voice
began to sound hollow even to my own ears. "The third time he showed me porn,
children's porn. He wanted to prove to me that it was normal for kids my age to
touch men his age...and I fucking believed him." My legs no longer supported my
weight and I would have fallen had Suga not reached out to grab me, sitting us
both back onto the couch. 
"You didn't know any better." Suga claims, soothing my hair back. 
"I want to believe that too, but a part of me knew that what we were doing was
wrong. I was just so scared no one would believe me. The fourth time he had me
suck him off, it had hurt, but not as much as the fifth time when he penetrated
me. Then there was a sixth, a seventh, an eighth-" 
Suga grabs both sides of my face with his hands, forcing me to look into his
eyes, "You aren't there anymore, look at me Jungkook, you are safe here with
me." 
I slowly nod, "There was once when he even went as far as doing it while my
parents were in the room next door and...and that time I really was going to
tell them but then-fuck-I...I came." I couldn't stop the tears, "I actually
came and he loved it." 
I hadn't realized I had been digging my nails into my skin until Suga grasped
them tightly, "Jungkook open your eyes and look at me, how old were you?" 
My eyes bore into his, and although it didn't take away the pain and anxiety I
felt inside, it did help me understand that I really wasn't there, that I was
with someone I could trust. "I was fourteen." 
"You couldn't help it, Jungkook. You were a fourteen year old with normal
hormones, you couldn't help it." Suga states over and over again until I
finally nod and agree with him. "It could have been anyone, Jungkook, but you
can't help your body's natural response to stimulation so please get it through
your heard that it wasn't your fault. None of that was your fault." 
I nod, closing my eyes and inhaling his comforting scent. "He ended up leaving
when I turned fifteen and I haven't seen him since. You would think the horror
was over then, right? My mom ended up meeting Mr. Vigil and they ended up
seeing each other. My father found out and began to take his frustrations out
on me." 
Suga is silent as he holds me. "You didn't deserve a damn thing that has
happened to you. I can't say things are going to be okay, because I don't
control this world. Bad shit is always going to happen, and I can't promise
you're magically going to wake up healed someday. But I can promise you that
Jimin and I will be there for you, always. Whether that be as a friend...or as
a lover...that is completely up to you." 
We stay there wrapped in each other's embrace for some time, Suga holding me
tightly as I sob into his shoulder. Eventually my heart begins to beat at a
normal pace and the hollow feeling is slowly replaced with the warmth that
Suga's body provides. "H-Help me forget." I whisper into Suga's ear, "Help me
move on from this." I say, becoming bolder as I straddle Suga's lap. "I'm sick
of crying, sick of letting that piece of shit control my life." 
Suga traces his hands up and down my sides, "I'll help you but you need to tell
me to stop the moment you start to feel overwhelmed, okay?" 
I nod, grabbing Suga's wrist, pulling him up the stairs and towards my bedroom.
"What about Jimin?" I can't help but ask as we enter my room. 
"He knows I'm here, he asked Hoseok to spend the night with him." Suga says,
his arm snaking around my waist, pulling me to his chest. 
I turn around so that we're pressed chest to chest, "I-It feels better...this
way." I tell him, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment. 
Suga nods, bringing our lips together in a chaste kiss. "Don't feel
embarrassed, okay? I want you to be honest with me like that. We can take is
slow, no penetration tonight." 
A thought occurs to me, "But what if I never feel comfortable enough for
penetration? What if I want to be the one..." 
Suga smiles, his lips kissing a sensitive part on my neck, causing pleasant
shivers to run down my spine. "We'll figure this out, okay? Jimin likes being
penetrated." 
My stomach feels a bit queasy at the mention of Jimin's name, "He knew you were
coming over, but he didn't know you were going to be doing this. Will he be
okay?" 
Suga walks us backwards until the back of my knees hit the edge of the bed. I
bounce as slightly as I fall onto the bed, but instead of joining me, Suga
stands between my spread legs. "He and I came to a clear understanding, we both
want you Jungkook, but that doesn't mean we don't love each other. It's
possible to love more than one person, you know." 
"Polyamours relationship, right?" I ask. 
Suga nods, reaching for the bottom of my t-shirt in a silent permission to take
it off. I nod and in a swift movement my shirt lies on the floor, soon followed
with his own so that I won't feel too exposed. 
I knew what Suga said made sense, I had never really believed that a person
could love only one person their whole life, but the idea of being in a
relationship with two people was a bit frightening. 
Suga's lips attach themselves to my right shoulder, sucking gently before
nipping at the bruising skin and then pressing his lips against the purple mark
softly. "I'm going to show you that not all bruises are bad." He mumbles moving
his mouth to my collarbones where he repeats the motion. "I'm going to make you
forget all about that evil man by getting you off so good you'll forget
everything." He whispers, his hands finding the button on my jeans. 
I close my eyes as his touch leaves a burning need in its wake. "You don't know
how long its been since I've felt this way." I rasp as his hands pull off my
pants and boxers, leaving my hard member unrestrained. 
Suga slowly removes his own clothes until our clothing lie in a heap on the
floor. He, too, was already hard and leaking of precum. He straddles my lap,
bringing our lips together right when our members brush against each other. It
felt good. 
I moan at the feeling and he takes the chance to slip his tongue inside of me,
licking the roof of my mouth which I had never known to be so sensitive. His
tongue slides against my own, sending bolts of pleasure through out my body, my
hips moving on their own accord as they buck upwards, lightly rubbing our cocks
together. 
Suga groans at the feeling and I instantly want to hear it again. He pushes me
gently so that I'm lying down with him on top of me, his hips thrusting
tenderly against my own and we both hiss at the slightest friction. I grip
strands of his hair, noting the difference between his and Layla's, preferring
his natural silkiness to her salon products. I use my other hand to grip his
hip, pushing him down firmly so that our hard lengths grind perfectly against
each other. 
He squirms a hand between our two bodies, gripping us both in his hand. At
first the feeling was unbelievably good, but as I shut my eyes in ecstasy  my
mind wandered to Dennis and I found myself pushing Suga back. He ends up
straddling my lap again but he shows no irritation in his eyes at having to
stop the building pleasure, instead kissing my cheek with such patience that it
made my heart flutter. "Have you ever gotten a blow job before, Jungkook?" 
I shake my head. 
He lips left a litter of purple bruises on my neck, collarbones, chest,
stomach, slowly reaching to where I wanted to feel him the most. He kneeled
between my open legs, kissing my inner thighs before taking my cock in his
hand. "Keep your eyes on me Jungkook, I don't care how good it feels I want you
to watch what I do to you." It wasn't a suggestion, it was an order.
I bite my lip to keep the pathetic moans at bay. I watch as Suga slowly moves
his hand up and down my shaft, his thumb circling the head where a large amount
of precum had began to form. He spread the precum down my shaft making it
easier for him to slide his hand up and down. His wrist would twist here and
there and I found myself closing my eyes as the burning coil in the pit of my
stomach began to tighten. 
Suga's hand left my cock, emitting a groan of annoyance from me before I felt
his hand smack against the top of my right thigh. When my eyes flashed open
they were first met with Suga's angered ones for not listening to his order
before he stilled. He carefully brought his hand back down onto my thigh, his
fingertips skimming over my scars. I had feared that when Suga looked back up
at me I would be met with pity, but instead he looked at me with an
understanding gaze. He left little love bites on top of the scars, not just the
ones on my right but also my left. The sight alone had me feeling so much that
I wanted to come then and there. 
Before I see it coming he brings his mouth down my entire length, the tip of my
cock brushing against the back of his throat. My entire body jerks at the
intense pleasure as he hollows his cheeks, his throat constricting against the
sensitive head and I can't hold in the loud noises leaving my throat. I never
would have guessed I could be this vocal. He pulls off with a loud pop, the
cool air hitting my hot member before he begins to lick long strips from the
top to the bottom of my shaft. 
"S-So good...fuck." I groan as he begins to bob his head up and down my cock in
a quick pace before alternating to a much slower rhythm. 
He uses one hand to stroke up and down my length while his mouth sucks on my
balls, using his other hand to reach up and rub his thumb firmly against my
nipple. 
"Shit, fuck, Suga..." I whine as the stimulation was beginning to become too
much. I hadn't even known that my nipples could feel that way. 
Suga then began to leave little kisses down the base of my member, his eyes
staring deep into mine to make sure I never looked away from him. He gripped my
length before grabbing my hand and putting it on the back of his head. On
instinct my fingers gripped his hair, using it as leverage to fuck his face. 
"I...I'm not going to last." I warn as his hot velvety mouth continued to push
me over the edge. 
He pulls off again, flattening his tongue against the tip of my cock before
circling his tongue around the tip and then swallows me down in one go,
repeatedly bringing his mouth down until the back of his throat hit the tip of
my hard member. 
"I'm going to cum." I cry, my hips thrusting upwards to meet his mouth. 
Suga hums in response, the vibration causing the tight coil in my stomach to
snap, endorphins flooding my veins as I cry out, my hot seed spilling into
Suga's awaiting mouth. He manages to swallow every last drop, milking me
completely of my cum. 
My body suddenly feels heavy and jelly like as I bask in the glow of my orgasm.
Suga pushes me back down on the bed and this time I don't fight him, letting
him wrap my blanket over the both of us. He holds me close to him, kissing my
forehead and whispering how good I did. Soon my breathing returns to normal and
I turn so that I'm facing Suga, his hard member poking my stomach. 
I begin to reach for him but Suga gently pushes my hand away, shaking his head,
"Tonight isn't about me." 
"Still...I should return the favor...I want to return the favor." I say, my
voice sounding huskier. 
He shakes his head again, his finger tips drawing circles onto my arm,
goosebumps rising wherever he touched, "Another day, okay? For now get some
rest. It's late and we have school tomorrow." 
I don't argue with him as my eyelids become heavy. "Thank you." I whisper,
kissing his swollen lips before curling into his warm body. 
He drapes his arm over my waist, bringing us closer together. 
If someone had told me that I would someday meet people who actually cared
about my well being, I would have laughed. But lying tucked into Suga's side
feeling so warm and light with satisfaction at finally moving little steps
forward, I realized this world wasn't bad, there were just some people that
made it seem like it was. They clouded whatever goodness innocent people had
once seen, robbing them of seeing the beauty this world had to offer. As my
eyes drifted closed I didn't see my father's angry eyes as he threatened to
kill me. I didn't see a man I thought I could trust walking menacingly towards
me. I didn't see my mother sleeping with my principal, or Layla forcing me to
be with her, or Brett getting Claudia pregnant. That night I dreamt of a sandy
white beach, crystal blue water, and three boys who were beginning to part the
clouds that kept me from seeing the bigger picture. 
***** Chapter 5 *****
It was weird how certain things could change over the span of a few hours,
seconds even. Here I was with a goofy grin on my face as I watched the easy
rise and fall of the sleeping boy's chest lying beside me. His lips were
partially open, his expression so at ease that I wanted to turn off all the
noise this world created if it meant letting him sleep like this a little bit
longer. I had woken to our hands entwined together, the anxiety of my clinging
nightmare increasing as the previous nights events replayed in my head. My
emotions were spiraling out of control as I remembered how amazing and scared I
felt, how at peace I had fallen asleep, and how terrified I had woken up. Yet
staring at his sleeping figure the anxiety had slowly began to dissipate. Yes,
there was a lot to talk about and to think over. Yes, a part of me worried
endlessly of what would happen, the never ending 'what if's' tormenting my
mind. But not a single cell in my body regretted what I had done the night
before. 
I had no idea what I was doing when I stretched my hand out, my trembling
fingers tracing circles into his soft and plushy skin. My thumb caressed his
cheek but I quickly pulled my hand back when his body stirred. 
The tranquility of the morning wouldn't last forever no matter how much I
wished it would. We would eventually need to get up and get ready for school
but since it had just turned to six thirty I decided I could let Suga sleep in
a bit more. However, not even a second after my decision to let him sleep in, I
found myself wincing at the sound of the front door being slammed shut before
the shouting began. 
"You don't get to tell me what to do you fucking asshole." My mother screamed,
her voice dripping with venom. 
I heard my father's fist collide with the wall, his typical tactic whenever he
was angry was to immediately hit something. "People are starting to talk,
they're going around calling you a whore!" 
Suga sat up in bed, his eyes glancing to mine briefly before we both turned our
attention back towards my closed bedroom door. "Your father seems to really
care about your mother." 
I yearned to be able to focus solely on how deep his voice sounded while he was
still groggy from sleep, but his words left me feeling a bit hollow. I shake my
head, biting my lip and waiting for what I knew was bound to be said
afterwards. 
"So fucking let them call me a whore, what the fuck do I care about what they
say?" She yells. 
"This isn't about you, I could care less if they call you a whore to be honest,
but this affects me too! How do you think it makes me look? Did you stop to
think of that? No, because you're a selfish bitch." My father snaps. 
I tug at Suga's hand, "We should take a shower." 
He grumbles about wanting to sleep some more but I successfully pull him out of
bed and towards my bathroom. "Do you want to shower or take a bath?" I ask,
pointing to the shower and then the separate bath tub, both big enough for the
two of us to fit. 
"I could really use a bath...preferably a bubble bath." He mumbles the last
part under his breath. 
I can't help the full body laugh which worsened when I saw his deadly glare,
his cheeks tinted with a cute shade of pink. "I'm sorry...I just...I don't know
why I can't picture you in a bubble bath." 
Before I could see it coming, Suga grabbed the collar of my shirt, slamming me
against the bathroom door, "Careful, Jeon. It's too early in the morning for
such teasing behavior. Keep this up and I might need to punish you." 
My last name had never and I mean never sounded as good as it did coming out of
Suga's lips while he starred at me with a mixture of annoyance and amusement. I
let out a shaky breath, "And it's too early for you to be getting me so riled
up like this, we don't have all day." I complain, adjusting my boxers before
bending down to open the sink cabinets where I knew my mother had stocked a few
bottles of bubble soap. 
I filled the tub for Suga, helping him in and then heading over to a stereo
system I kept in the bathroom for days when I really wanted to relax. I put in
a classical CD, the sound of the piano and violin emitting a moan from Suga. 
"Is this what a spa feels like?" He asks, keeping his eyes closed as he
immersed in the water.
I chuckle, throwing my clothes and his into my laundry bin before walking over
to turn the shower on, "Not at all. You don't find this kind of peace at a spa.
All those stories you hear about spas are lies, the spa is a place where
gossipers come to gather to spread vicious rumors about others and they never
shut up." 
Suga finally opens his eyes, making it quite obvious that he was checking me
from head to toe. "You aren't going to join me?" There was no disappointment in
his voice, just mild curiosity. 
I shaky my head, "I don't think that's a good idea if I want to get to school
on time." 
He rolls his eyes, "I don't know why you're so obsessed with being such a good
student. It's okay to break a few rules, you know." 
I peer at Suga's glistening exposed skin, the tip of my ears burning, "I've
broken quite a few rules these pass few hours, don't you think?" 
He wears a smug look, "Yeah, you did. I'm such a good influence." He pauses,
his smile faltering for a moment, "How...how are you feeling?" 
I knew what he meant but a part of me wanted to believe that he didn't care,
that all of this was just a hook up for him. It was just too hard to register
that someone genuinely cared. "I'm feeling okay. Better than okay...I just have
a lot to think about." 
Suga nods, "I get that. Just don't feel like you're in this alone, okay?" 
A knock at the door causes us both to freeze and hold our breaths. "Y-Yeah?" I
call out, praying that it wasn't my father standing on the other side of the
door. 
"Jeon? It's your mother. What on earth happened to your car? Are you okay? Why
didn't you call me when this happened!" Her voice was so full of concern which
only served to activate my boiling hatred towards her. 
"Would you have answered?" I find myself saying. My mother remains quiet and I
don't blame her, I made the both of us speechless with my unusual bold
behavior. 
Suga flicks water at me and I turn to glare at him, "You shouldn't speak to her
like that." He whispers. 
I furrow my brows as I grab a towel, wrapping it around my waist before pulling
the door open just enough for her and I to look at each other. "I apologize,
mother. I'm fine, it was a minor accident despite the damages." 
She's about to ask more questions when her eyes flicker to my neck, her eyes
widening. She touches my neck and I flinch at the pain, "Jeon are these
hickies?" 
"W-What? No...they're probably bruises from the seat belt." I lie, silently
cursing Suga for marking my skin. 
She frowns, "I wasn't born yesterday young man, I know the difference between a
hickey and a bruise. Is it Tiffany? Are you two being safe?" 
I didn't want to lie but there was no way I could tell her the truth. "Of
course I'm being safe. Look...this isn't really something I want to be
discussing with my mother. I'm going to be late for school if I don't shower." 
She nods, "I want you to know that this is something you can openly discuss
with me, I'd rather you be safe than sorry." 
I shut the door, locking it before sighing in relief when I hear my bedroom
door close. I take off the towel and begin to make my way to the shower but
Suga's hand grabs my wrist, pulling me down to his level. "What are you
doing?" 
He doesn't say anything as his thumb traces over the markings he left, a smirk
forming on his lips. "These look good on you." He murmurs, capturing my lips in
a heated kiss. He releases me before I can take things any further, "Hurry and
shower. We're going to be late." 
It was scary how in that moment I wanted to break all the rules I had lived
with my whole life if it meant being able to kiss him some more. No one should
be able to have that much power over a person, there was just no telling what
could happen. 
Suga and I had just finished eating toast with butter, downing it with some
orange juice when Jimin's Honda pulled into my drive way. Hoseok was the first
to climb out, grimacing at the sight of my car parked next to theirs. "It looks
even worse in the sunlight." 
Jimin came out next with Suga's duffle bag in hand, the four of us heading back
inside so that Suga could change into his uniform. 
"Are you two thirsty or hungry?" I ask, the words foreign in my mouth since I
had never had people over before. Hoseok nods but Jimin stays quiet so I point
to the fridge, "Help yourself to whatever's in there." 
Hoseok picks up on the awkward silence and nods, rummaging through my fridge. 
"Can we talk?" I say, leading Jimin to the backyard. 
Jimin takes a seat on the porch swing, looking at his hands nervously. 
"A-Are you mad at me?" I ask, my own heart thumping as my palms began to
sweat. 
Jimin looks up at me with surprise, "Why would I be mad at you?" 
I bite my lip, "Suga and I...we..." 
Jimin giggles, "Had sex." 
I reel back at his forward approach to the topic, "We didn't have sex..." 
"Jungkookie you're such an innocent child. Sex doesn't mean penetration, it's
any sexual act. Blow jobs count." He replies, winking. 
I tilt my head slightly, confused. "Are you mad?" I probe. 
Jimin shakes his head, "No, I know Suga likes you and I know you like him...I-
I like you too, you know..." 
Realization hits me and I suddenly feel much better, "Were you being quiet
earlier because you were worried I didn't like you back?" 
Jimin shrugs, not meeting my eyes, "You kind of freaked out after we kissed, it
isn't really reassuring." 
I nod, understanding why he felt the way he had. I take a seat next to him, "I
do like you Jimin, a lot. But...I need you to know that those freak outs are
probably going to happen here and there...I can't really control them but they
are in no way meant to be taken that I don't like you." 
He meets my eyes with so much sadness, "Suga informed me of what happened to
you...Kookie I'm so-" 
I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want pity or sympathy for something that
couldn't be changed. I press my lips to his, my hand finding the back of his
neck so that I could bring him closer. His lips part and I caress my tongue
with his, a quiet moan exhaling from Jimin's throat. 
"Shit, this is hot." Suga groans, his hand reaching down to palm himself
through his trousers. 
I grip his wrist, "Don't. We don't have time, it's already-" I pause, looking
down at my watch to see we only had five minutes to get to class, "Fuck, we're
going to be late!" I shout, springing from the swing, shoving them both through
the door. 
"Way to kill the mood." Jimin growls at Suga who only rolls his eyes as we all
shuffle into the Honda. 
***
"So, are the rumors true?" Layla asked as she took a sip of my smoothie. 
My eye are focused on the three students sitting two tables behind Layla's
head, laughing at something on Hoseok's phone. A part of me felt envious at the
three of them enjoying their lunch together while I had to sit with Layla.
Despite agreeing to be in a relationship with the two boys, they still stood
with their earlier decision of keeping our distances in the eyes of the
public. 
"What rumors?" I ask, distracted by the buzzing of my phone. 
You look miserable.
I catch Jimin's eye and slightly nod. 
Cheer up, we're all hanging out afterwards, right? 
I nod again, careful not to draw attention to myself. 
"Some students are saying they saw you come out of Min and Park's car. It's not
true, right?" Layla questions just as Brett sits down. 
I was instantly on edge. Brett and the other football players never ate lunch
in the cafeteria, yet here they were sitting close by, starring daggers at
Suga's table. "I did but...only because my car is totaled. I'm getting a new
one soon." 
Brett frowns, "Why didn't you call me? Or Layla? Why'd you get a ride from one
of them." 
I didn't like the way Brett was looking at them. I shrug, "I had planned on
calling you but I was running late and they were driving by one their way to
school so I took them up on their offer. Man, you guys are acting like I
married them or something." 
No one found my joke funny. Brett wouldn't stop staring at their table, making
my skin prickle with sweat. "Just stay away from them from now on, okay?
They're bad news Jeon." 
Layla nods, "We know you're too nice of a person to really be mean to anyone,
but you do not want to associate yourself with those psychopaths." 
My stomach churned at their words, "Why don't you guys like them? Is it because
they don't have the same amount of money as we do?" I bluntly ask. 
Brett shakes his head, "Money has nothing to do with this, Jeon. They're
freaks! They're alcoholics and druggies!" 
By now Brett's voice has caught the three boy's attention, along with half the
cafeteria. "So what if they drink and smoke? Half the students at this school
do that. You yourself do that." I say defensively. 
Brett scoffs at the accusation, "Why are you defending them? Everything about
them is wrong, Jeon, why don't you see that? They made a fucking suicide pack
for crying out loud." 
My eyes glance over at their table, wondering if what he was saying was true
but they were already gathering their things and leaving. "What do you mean?" 
"There was a kid who used to hang with them but he said he stopped after they
said he had to join their suicide pack, that if any of them ever died or wanted
to die, the rest would join him." Brett says, his tone serious. 
"That's ridiculous Brett." I respond, wanting to push away the unease I felt. 
He shrugs, rubbing a hand over his tired face, "Whatever man, I'm just warning
you now. Those kids, nothing but trouble. You need to stay away from them." 
I decide to put him at ease and nod, "Of course. I'll make sure to call you the
next time I need a ride, okay?" 
He looks relieved as we finish our lunch like the conversation had never
happened. Yet as everyone around me laughed and ate all I could do was wonder
if I was moving too fast. What did I really know about Jimin, or Suga, or even
Hoseok? All I really knew was what others had said about them. But they had
been so kind to me...was that all it took to get into my pants? A few kind
words and gestures? I suddenly felt really sick. 
I had been raped but I had never considered anything that man did to be my
firsts. But as Brett's words continued to echo around in my head I couldn't
help but question my firsts with Suga. He was still a stranger yet I had given
myself to him willingly. I had told him and Jimin my deepest darkest secret
before I had even learned their birthdays or what their favorite color was. I
had agreed to be with them romantically without knowing what their parents did
for a living or their plans for the future. 
After classes had ended Brett found me before I could make a run for Jimin's
car. He slung a heavy arm around my shoulders, "Hey Jeon, we've been friends
for years now and I find it strange that you have never once invited me to hang
out at your place."
Layla circled an arm around my waist, molding herself against my side, "Yeah
Jeon, it's pretty rude that you've came over to both of our houses and we
haven't been to yours." I watch as her eyes fall to my lips, "Besides, you and
I have a lot to talk about."
I don't even have time to protest as they lead me towards the student parking
lot, deciding to take Layla's car. I catch Jimin's eye as he leans against his
car door, a small frown on his lips as he watches Brett shove me into Layla's
car. Soon after he's joined with a pissed off Suga and an equally upset Hoseok.
I send Jimin a quick text letting him know that if the three of them wanted to
come over and spend the night after Layla and Brett left that they were
welcomed to. The idea of entertaining Brett and Layla for the next few hours
left me feeling exhausted but when I received a smiley face from Jimin letting
me know that they would it gave me enough energy to make small talk and watch
movies with the two.
Half way through watching The Fault in Our Stars, Brett's snoring interrupts
Layla's focus on what was happening on the screen, her attention shifting to
me. "So when were you planning on talking to me about that kiss?" She asks.
I knew she would eventually bring it up and a part of me wondered if I should
pretend to date her so that Brett and the others would get off my back but I
knew doing so would only make being with Jimin and Suga much more harder than
it already was. I'm saved from having to answer when someone rings the
doorbell. I get up and head to the door, glad for the distraction but praying
Jimin, Suga, and Hoseok hadn't shown up early. Much to my surprise, I'm met
with beautiful jade eyes and a friendly smile, "Hello Tiffany." 
"Jeon, I know this is unexpected but apparently your mother called my mother to
let her know that you and I are a thing now." Tiffany said, amusement in her
voice. 
I cringe, "I um...was meaning to call you." 
Her eyes glance to my neck, "So where are they? From what my mom told me, I
really did a number on you." She steps forward and moves my collar to the side,
exposing the dark bruises. She bites her lip, her eyes slowly meeting mine,
"Wow...those are pretty big...way too big for my mouth to have caused." 
I don't have time to respond when Layla wedges herself between the door and I.
Her eyes scan Tiffany from head to toe, a disapproving gaze instantly settling
on her face. "Can we help you?" 
"L-Layla this is...I mean she...she's the reason I wasn't able to call you
after our kiss. Our parents want us together so...we're going out now." I
explain, hoping she believes me despite my constant stuttering. 
Tiffany's eyes widen a fraction but her shock is soon replaced with an Oscar
winning performance as she smirks, wrapping a slender arm around my waist and
pulling me to her. "Yup, we're crazy about each other." She states, pressing
her lips against my cheek. 
Layla's entire face turns red, her body trembling with repressed anger. Instead
of replying she hurries to the couch where Brett is still sound asleep,
pounding on his chest. "Get up, let's go! If you want a ride back to your car
then you better be out the door in five seconds!" Brett stares at us all with
confusion but quickly obeys Layla's order, giving Tiffany and I a brief
goodbye. 
The second the door closes behind the two of them, Tiffany rounds her attention
to me, crossing her arms with a pointed 'you better explain' look on her face.
I lead her to the couch and try to come up with an excuse but nothing comes to
mind. "I'm dating someone my parents would disapprove of, the person left these
on my neck and my mom saw them so I...I used your name. I'm sorry." I say as
she stares at me with surprise. 
"I don't really mind that you used me like that...I guess I'm just shocked that
you, Jeon Jungkook, poster child is breaking the rules." Tiffany responds with
a giggle. 
I shrug, "People do stupid things when they like someone. You won't tell will
you?" I knew she had every right to but a part of me hoped that she wouldn't.
She shakes her head, "I won't tell. In fact, this benefits me a lot. My parents
were worried when I told them I wanted to get my own place so that I can finish
high school here, they don't believe I'm mature enough yet. So imagine my
surprise when my mom told me she'd get me my own place after your mom said how
happy she was that her son was dating such a sophisticated young woman and how
I'm welcomed into your family." 
Jeon Jungkook, poster child that everyone wanted to befriend simply because my
title gave them power. Yet, sitting here with Tiffany I couldn't help but
smile. She wasn't like the others, using my name in hopes of catching
attention. No, she was doing this to gain some freedom and I was using her name
for the same reason. "So we have a deal then?"
She nods, shaking my out stretched hand. "We have a deal. I say we eat out in
public a few times, and of course eat lunch together at school, maybe even
drive me to school once you get a new car...and since my family will be
traveling you don't have to worry about family dinners, however, I'm sure your
parents will expect a meal or two with me so make sure to let me know when.
Other than that, I won't ask you any questions and I expect the same in
return." 
"You're in a happy mood." Suga comments while Jimin and Hoseok argue over which
movie we should watch. 
I bite my lip and nod, pouring the bag of popcorn into a big glass bowl for
everyone to be able to share. "Remember the girl who was with me when I found
out you worked at my family's place?" 
Suga thinks back and nods, "Yes, what of her?" 
There was an edge to his tone of voice, grabbing Jimin's attention. "She agreed
to pretend to date me...I think it will make things easier for us all. People
will assume I'm with her whenever I'm not home, and I can use her as an excuse
to get out of hanging out with other people." 
Jimin smiles and Suga relaxes, "I was worried for a minute Jungkookie. I
thought I was going to have to compete with a rich female." 
I roll my eyes, "She isn't my type. I'm kind of into men with weird hair
colors." 
Jimin comes over to the kitchen with mock hurt in his eyes, "Weird hair color?
My hair is not weird, it's badass." He lunges for me but I counter his attack,
keeping Suga in between us. 
"You two are going to make me drop the popcorn!" Suga complains while Jimin and
I continue to shove Suga back and forth. 
"You better not make him drop the popcorn!" Hoseok warns while he places the CD
into the DVD player. 
Jimin manages to move around Suga, grabbing the collar of my shirt so that he
could use it to slam me against the fridge. His hot and needy lips find mine
and it takes every ounce of strength to withhold a moan so that we don't bring
Hoseok's attention to us. 
When we pull apart Jimin looks at me with a smug look on his face as I pant
against his neck and as an attempt to regain some dignity I grin against him,
"Have you always been this short?" 
Jimin's smirk is instantly replaced with irritation, his fist playfully hitting
my shoulder, "Short? Me? As if!" 
"Movies starting guys!" Hoseok calls from the living room. 
It was true that I didn't know where Jimin's or Suga's parents worked. I didn't
know what they aspired to be in this world, or what kind of foods they enjoyed
eating. But the warm fuzzy feeling I felt as I rested in between the two boys
on the couch was enough to shut my worried mind up. Sometimes in life we just
have to close our eyes and make the jump into the unknown abyss. Yes, there was
a possibility of breaking a few bones, but there was also a high chance that at
the end of the abyss there would be treasure. 
As the movie continued I ended up gaining enough courage to lace both my hands
with each boy, earning smiles from the both of them. I had no idea what I was
doing but the feeling they brought out of me was too addicting to turn back
now. 
 
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Notes
     The beginning may be a little Triggering so read with caution but
     this chapter is mainly fluff, some smut, so hope you enjoy :)
"Fuck Jeon...you feel so good." He grunted as his pelvis continued to ram
against me. 
I had finally reached the point where tears no longer fell from my eyes. I no
longer felt the angry bitterness in my mouth or the swirling emotions in my
chest that made it hard to breathe. 
My mother's laughter rang loudly from downstairs soon followed by my father's
as they entertained tonight's guests. "Where is Jeon?" I heard my father ask
and for a moment I felt a fleeting spark of hope at the thought of them coming
upstairs to check on me. 
"If he isn't down here he is most likely feeling too sick to eat. Don't worry
about it, darling, I'll check on him later." My mother assured him. 
Later never came. Dennis went home along with the other guests and my parents
went straight to bed. Had my mother checked on me she most likely would have
been appalled by what she would see. Her fourteen year old son curled into the
fetal position covered in his own vomit along with his own semen and the semen
of her husband's best friend. The next morning I had to sit in front of her
like nothing was wrong. People at school often teased me for my small and lanky
frame, calling me stick or beanpole, and almost always weakling. I wanted to
scream at the top of my lungs that they had no idea what they were talking
about. Weak? Me? I had to get up every day and pretend that I was okay
when nothing was okay. I had to pay attention in class and learn mathematical
equations while in the back of my mind I worried endlessly about whether or not
that monster would be in my house later that day. 
I woke up to someone slightly, almost cautiously, shaking my shoulder. I
groggily open my eyes, both pissed and happy that I was woken up from one of
the many memories that still haunted me. I was met with Jimin's warm gaze, a
small frown on his lips as his eyes scanned my face closely. 
"Another nightmare?" He asks quietly. 
The first thing I notice is that Jimin and I are a complete mess of tangled
limbs as we laid stretched out on the couch while Suga and Hoseok were sprawled
on the floor. I stare at Jimin, puzzled as I trace my fingertips down his
cheek. He arches closer, nuzzling himself into the crook of my neck.
"Yeah...but I'm okay now." I say honestly. A nagging voice in my head wondered
why, even without drugs in my system, I was so damn comfortable with Jimin
touching me. 
Jimin moves his face so that our lips are merely inches apart, close enough
that my own lips felt his heat. "M-May I?" He questions, unsure of himself. 
I run my fingers through his amazingly soft hair, "I'm really sorry about
freaking out on you that time...I want you to feel comfortable enough with me
that you don't need to ask for my permission to kiss me. I want you to
spontaneously do it whenever you feel like it. Just as long as you understand
if I do start to push you away it isn't because I don't like you, okay?" 
He simply nods, bringing his lips to mine, his plump lips molding perfectly
against mine. Jimin tilts his head, emitting a small groan from me as his
tongue slid smoothly against my own, cute little giggles escaping his throat as
he pulls away for us to breathe, "Jungkookie you need to keep quiet, we don't
want to wake up the others." 
I grab the back of his neck, bringing him back to me as I explored his mouth,
his natural scent sending my senses into a frenzy. I break away so that I can
tilt my head in the other direction, our noses lightly bumping as our eyes gaze
at each other for a brief moment before I closed them in order to really feel
Jimin. His hand gripped the back of my shirt as mine moved away from his neck,
trailing down his back. I felt every prodding bone, strained muscle, and fiery
heat as I let my hand wander further and further down. I gently grasped one of
his butt cheeks through his thin basketball shorts, Jimin startling both of us
with a high pitched moan. Hoseok's eyes flash open at the noise and I panic,
instantly shoving Jimin off of the couch. He lands with a loud oof on top of
Suga, knocking the breath out of him as well. 
Suga pushes Jimin off of him, looking more pissed off than the time when I
accidentally spilled my coffee on him. "What the fuck?" 
Jimin glares at me but there is no real anger behind it. "Sorry guys,
Jungkookie moves around a lot in his sleep." 
None of us were able to go back to sleep after that, and luckily it was
Saturday which meant my parents wouldn't be returning until Sunday night. 
Together the four of us rummaged through the fridge and cupboards trying to
decide what to eat for breakfast. We settled on pancakes since it was the one
of the few things Suga knew how to make and I felt happy to learn that none of
us were really that great of cooks. Halfway through being covered in pancake
mix as we fought over the mixing bowl, laughing and shouting, I began to worry
that my face would split in half from all the smiling. It was then that I
understood why adrenaline junkies did the outrageous things that they did, the
adrenaline that these boys were providing was so damn addicting. 
"Look at that boys, tell me, have you ever seen a more perfect pancake?" Suga
asked as he admired the one out of twelfth attempt at a round pancake. 
We all stared at each other in amusement, breaking out in loud laughter at
Suga's look of pride which immediately morphed into annoyance. "Mock me all you
want, I get to eat this one." 
We stuffed our faces with deformed pancakes while Suga quietly ate his round
one, swallowing it down with some fresh orange juice. "You planning on going to
University Kookie?" Hoseok asked over a bite of food. 
I saw a flash of irritation coming from Suga and took note that it seemed
eating and talking was one of his pet peeves. "Yeah, although I'm not really
sure what I want to major in. Maybe somewhere in the medical field. What about
you, Hoseok?" 
He shakes his head, "Call me Hobi, we're close enough now. It might sound silly
but...I really want to go to University and major in dancing." 
Jimin puts a supportive hand on his shoulder, "It's not silly at all, I want to
major in dance too...or maybe as a singer..." 
I raise an eyebrow at him, "You can sing?" 
Jimin giggles nervously before clearing his throat, belting out a high note
that gave me goosebumps. 
"Holy shit, you can sing." I laugh in bewilderment. 
All of our eyes turn to Suga and he sighs, "I want to become a professional
basketball player." 
It almost felt like my body was floating in the air as I continued to learn
more about them. "I'm going to have to play against you sometime. I have a hoop
in the back yard." 
Suga smirks, "I accept that challenge. It's over a hundred degrees today
though, we can play when the heat lowers." 
"Kookie, is it true you have a swimming pool?" Hobi asks, glancing at the glass
sliding doors that led into my backyard. 
I nod, "Yeah, we should go for a swim. I think I have extra trunks upstairs." 
After all of us have changed into swimming trunks we head out into the
backyard. Fortunately I didn't have to worry about any peeking neighbors since
our wooden fence was high enough to block any peering eyes along with a few
trees to keep us well hidden. 
Hobi and Jimin went directly into the pool, diving straight into the deep end. 
Suga walked over to one of the many pool lounging chairs, relaxing under the
shade with a towel covering his pale legs. 
"You aren't coming in?" I ask, taking a seat beside him. 
He shakes his head, "I don't swim well and I don't particularly like getting
sun burned. Even with sun screen my skin is still highly sensitive to the sun.
Go and have fun, I'll probably go in for a little bit later." He picks up his
ear buds and places them in, his face contorting into peaceful bliss. 
I hurry over to the pool deciding to cannon ball straight in. Cold water
surrounds every inch of my body, my lungs working twice as hard as I emerge
from the water. Jimin and Hobi swim over to me, smiles on their faces as they
bask in the cold-warm feeling of being in the water while the sun hung high
above us. 
"You guys ever play pool volleyball before?" I ask as my eyes scan the backyard
for the volleyball net and ball. 
Both Hobi and Jimin shake their heads. 
"Help me set up." I point to the net and they're quick to help. "Since you two
have never played I'll be generous and let you two be on a team. Just hit the
ball over the net and don't let it touch the water." 
Soon we're all panting, our faces red. I point an accusing finger at the smug
expressions on Jimin and Hobi's face. "You're liars! Cheaters! You two have
played before!" 
They crack up laughing and I scoff, "Sorry Jungkookie but we're extremely
competitive." 
I climb out of the pool and run over to Suga, carefully pulling the earbuds
out. He opens one tired eye and grimaces at the bright light, "This better be
important." He grumbles. 
"Jimin and Hobi are cheating, I need a partner to even out the playing field."
I explain, flicking water in their direction. 
Suga shakes his head, "No, I don't want to get wet." 
I frown, yanking the towel off of him and pulling him into my arms bridal
style. He yelps at the sudden dampness of my body against his fairly warm one,
his hand slapping against my wet chest as he yells at me to put him down. I
toss him into the water and hurry in after him, my arm encircling around his
waist to pull him back to the surface. 
He coughs as he takes in large intakes of air, his face red with a mixture of
anger and embarrassment. "You're a dick, Jeon Jungkook." 
I keep my arm around him and pinch his cute little cheek, "Be mad at me all you
want but help me win, okay?" 
He grabs the ball from where it is floating beside us, smacking it across the
net too fast for either Jimin or Hobi to react. 
"Score!" I shout, releasing Suga to float on his own as I make my way to the
score board to move my score up one. 
"Soak it up, that's the only one you'll be making!" Hobi grins, quickly sending
the ball over to our side where I easily hit it back over. The ball goes back
and forth between each side for some time but eventually Suga and I find
ourselves winning. Having a pissed off Suga on my team had its benefits. 
"Read it and weep suckers, we win!" I announce after almost two hours have
passed. Our skin was beginning to look more like raisins rather than actual
skin. 
Hobi and Jimin pout, rolling their eyes. 
I turn to Suga and lean in for a quick victory kiss and by the way he leans
into me I was certain he wanted it to but before my lips can reach his my head
is being dunked into the water. I come up from underneath the water, "You can
be pissed off about me throwing you into the pool but you didn't have to-" 
"Jeon?" My mother's voice stops me mid-sentence. 
I twirl around and am met with her equally stunned expression. "What are you
doing here?" 
She smiles but I can see that its strained, "I live here silly. Who are your
friends?" 
"Park Jimin, Jung Hoseok, and Min Yoongi." I briefly introduce, Suga's real
name sounding foreign in my mouth. "They're friends from school." 
She eyes them carefully, perhaps trying to figure out if she knew any wealthy
parents by their last names. "It's a pleasure to meet you three, I'd love to
sit and chat but I'm late for a business trip. Jeon, I left you some money on
the counter, I'll be back next weekend, okay?" 
Next weekend? "Where are you going that's going to take so long?" I can't help
but ask. 
Her eyes actually look cold as they glance back at me, as if I should have
known better than to ask. A part of me did know better, but the thought of
being home alone with my father for an entire week sets me on edge. "I have to
travel to Hawaii for a little bit, I won't be long. I have to hurry and pack
before I miss my flight. I also transferred you some money for you to replace
your damaged car, be safe sweetheart." She calls over her shoulder as she heads
to her room. 
We all seem to stay frozen in place until we hear her shout a goodbye from the
front door, the sound of her car leaving the driveway causing us all to let out
breaths of relief. "So after we all shower, you guys want to help me pick out a
car?" 
Jimin and Hobi share my bathtub and Suga and I share the shower. To say I was
embarrassed was an understatement, I had never actually been in a shower with
anyone before, not even the morning after Suga had given me a blow job. We had
showered separately. Yet they all seemed completely comfortable with one
another so I tried to relax and wash myself as fast as possible. It wasn't
until Jimin and Hobi were distracted by blowing bubbles into each other's faces
did Suga lean on his tipey toes to plant his lips firmly against mine. 
"I wanted to do that earlier too, but I felt it would be inappropriate in front
of your mother." He states, his hand trailing down my chest seductively. 
Grabbing his wrist, I push him underneath the shower head, frowning as he
chuckled at my arousal. The last thing I needed was for Suga to turn me on
while Hobi was in the bathroom with us. 
After changing into decent clothing we head over to my garage where we kept
Jimin's car hidden, climbing in one by one. "Before we head off to look for a
car, do you guys mind driving into town so that we can stop by the Tuxedo
place?" 
"Why? Our clothing not good enough for a luxury car store?" Jimin asks
defensively as he pulls out of the driveway. 
I instantly bite my lip feeling guilty, shaking my head, "I didn't mean it like
that...I-I just thought it would be cool if we all showed up matching looking
like James Bond, never mind, forget I said anything." I mumble, staring out the
window. 
"I'm sorry Jungkookie, that sounds like a great idea." Jimin replies, already
heading off into town. 
I stare at my reflection nervously as I take in the tailored made tuxedo.
"We're ready!" Hobi calls from outside the changing room. I hurry out and stop
in my tracks as I gawk at the handsome men standing before me, leaving me
breathless. I stand directly in front of Jimin, fixing his tie while leaning in
to whisper into his ear, "This is why I wanted to do this. It has nothing to do
with your clothes not being good enough, because to me they are, but I just
knew how damn sexy you'd be in this." 
Jimin beams under the praise, his body unconsciously gravitating closer to
mine. "You look dashing yourself." 
I end up paying for the suits despite their protests and usher them to the car.
We end up debating what type of brand I should get and somehow settle on a
Mercedes, making our way to the Mercedes store. The sales people were extremely
patient with us as we took turns trying out different cars, Suga sitting up
front when it was Hobi's turn just in case he needed help. I end up purchasing
a black 2016 Mercedes-Mayback s600 with a cream leather interior. 
I speed down the empty high way as Jimin and Hobi stick their heads out the
window hollering at the top of their lungs while Suga sank into the cushiony
seats. 
"We can't let these suits go to waste by driving around all day! Kookie, you
ever been clubbing?" Hobi asks from the passenger seat, a huge mischievous
smile on his face. 
I slow the car down as we get closer to other cars, "Seeing as how I'm not
eighteen yet, let alone twenty-one, no I haven't. I can assume you three
have?" 
They nod, "We need to take you." Jimin chimes in from the back. 
I shrug, "It sounds like fun, any place in particular where they won't ask for
ID?" 
By the time we reach the little bar on the outskirts of town the sun has gone
down. People are coming in and out of the bar freely, goofy grins on their
faces as people dance and drink outside of the club, the music loud enough to
reach outside. 
I can feel the bass of the music as it vibrates against every inch of me. The
three of them head straight for the bar, ordering alcoholic drinks with names I
couldn't remember. "You think you can handle this?" Jimin shouted over the
music as he handed me a dark amber liquid drink with lots of ice cubs in it. 
I nod, tipping my head back to down the drink. My throat immediately feels like
its on fire and in that moment where I struggle to breathe, I regret
everything. My eyes water to the point that it looks like I'm crying as I try
to swallow my saliva though even that feels painful. 
The three of them laugh their assess off. Jimin reaches for my hand and pulls
me to the middle of the dance floor and instantly try to break away from his
hold, too embarrassed to try and dance in front of all these people. But as I
was pulling away I noticed that not a single person was staring at us. Everyone
was laughing, dancing, sweating, drinking, having a good time. No one was
staring at anyone with judgmental looks. I realized that these people wouldn't
care if I danced like I had something stuck up my ass. These people weren't the
people I grew up with. They weren't going to look at me and be shocked that
Jeon Jungkook was dancing with a male. They were here to have fun and release
stress like the rest of us. 
After what feels like forever of just letting go, Jimin drags us to the side,
the both of us drenched in sweat and breathing harshly. From the corner of my
eye I could see Suga and Hobi still dancing, both their faces flushed. "They're
drunk!" I yell over the music. 
Jimin turns to stare at them, giggling loudly. "Yeah they are. I have to pee,
come with me?" 
I grab a hold of Jimin's hand and let him lead me to the not so sanitary
bathrooms. Somehow the two of us end up inside of a stall together, me pressing
Jimin against the wall as he wrapped his legs around my waist. My mouth nipped
hungrily at his sweaty skin, his sweat, cologne, and natural scent turning me
on. Jimin gripped the back of my hair almost painfully, but in a weird way I
liked it. 
"J-Jungkook!" Jimin mewled as I left a particularly big hickey on the crook of
his neck. 
I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol buzzing in my veins that made me so bold,
but I found myself palming Jimin through his trousers, my own dick hardening in
my pants as I heard him moan loudly. I brought our hips together, rutting
against him as I continued to attack his neck. 
"Jungkook, I need you. I need you. Please..." Jimin whines as I continue to
slide our hard lengths together through our pants. 
"Please what?" I growl as I bite his ear. 
He groans at the feeling, throwing his head back only to expose more of his
untouched skin. "Please make me cum." 
I keep one hand around his waist to hold him up as the other reaches between us
to unzip both of our pants. The cold air hits our hard members as we both hiss
at the feeling before I'm grabbing both of us in my hand. For once I was
actually thrilled to have large hands as I pump our lengths in unison. Whereas
Suga had taken control last time, Jimin had become completely submissive under
my touch. I would be lying if I said it didn't arouse me even more.
I pull my hand away and swipe my tongue against my palm to add some kind of
lubricant as I went back to stroking us both, twisting my wrist here and there.
A part of me had been a little worried about not being able to pleasure Jimin,
I had basically no experience when it came to things like this. I never really
masturbated before either, so it wasn't like I could jerk him off to the way I
would. But from the way he gripped my shoulders, digging his nails in as he
screwed his eyes shut with his mouth agape, I could only hope it meant I was
doing this right. I flicked my thumb against both of our dick's heads,
spreading the precum down our bases the way Suga had done to mine.  
I end up putting Jimin back down on his feet, his limbs shaking as I lower
myself to my knees. I grab his cock and lick a long stripe down the base,
inhaling his intoxicating scent. My mouth actually watering as I anticipated
tasting Jimin. But even with alcohol running in my system and being able to
smell the difference between Jimin and that man, I still felt myself freeze up
as Jimin pressed the tip of his head against my lips. 
He immediately feels the change and pulls back, his fingers caressing my face
tenderly. "It's okay Kookie. We'll go at your pace so don't force yourself." 
I had told Suga that I didn't want that monster to rule over my life anymore
and I had meant it. I grip his thick member and swallow him in one go, relaxing
my throat as his tip hits the back of my throat. I groan as I twirl my tongue
around his length, the vibrations causing him to moan loudly. I pull off of him
with a loud pop, flattening my tongue against the head of his cock as whimpers
fall from his pretty plump lips. 
Before I can go back down on him, Jimin grips my collar and yanks me up. He
crashes his lips against mine, biting my lower lip almost painfully which only
sent shivers down my spine. "As much as I want to cum down your throat, not
tonight. I need to feel you against me like earlier." 
I grab his ass, kneading my fingers into the soft muscle before pulling him
flush against me. This time Jimin wraps his hand over my own and we both stroke
our lengths together. I should have been freaking out. I was in a dirty
bathroom stall with my boyfriend as we stared deep into each others eyes, our
breaths mixing together as we panted into each others mouths as we pumped
ourselves into oblivion. But I realized this was normal. Couples did this kind
of thing all the time. 
We had been going at a deliciously slow pace until the burning heat in our
bellies began to become overwhelming. 
"J-Jiminie...I'm close." I grunt as our hands increase in speed. 
A few more strokes and I lose it. I groan loudly into Jimin's neck as he
releases a high pitched moan, both of our hands covered in each other's cum.
Jimin brings his hand up to my lips and I actually lick it off of him
completely, the salty tang surprisingly enjoyable. Jimin brings his lips and
tongue to my own hand and if I hadn't just come I was sure I would have at this
sight. We're both still basking in the after glow of our orgasms when someone
barges into the bathroom, rushing for the urinals. We hear a long stream of pee
as the man sighs in relief. We attempt to keep our laughs inside but one look
at his smiling face and we're doubling over in a fit of laughter, the poor man
clearly startled as he lets out a surprised shriek. 
My dad wasn't going to be home until Sunday night and although I didn't want to
send the boys home, they insisted that they had to crash at their own place for
the night since Hobi and Suga had work in the morning. Jimin offered to stay
the night with me but I refused to leave Suga and Hobi alone when they were
this intoxicated. They had tried to convince me to stay the night, and as much
as I desperately wanted to, I knew I had to go home because my father would
stop by early in the morning to pick up clothes and I knew he would check up on
me to make sure I wasn't embarrassing him somehow. I reluctantly drop the boys
off and then make the lonely drive back home. I make sure to drive slower than
usual as the alcohol continues to take its toll on me. 
I actually feel glad that I had come home alone as I pull into the driveway and
see my father's car parked in the driveway along with another unfamiliar car.
Would he really be bold enough to bring Amy home while my mother was away? Then
again, my mother was most likely with Mr. Vigil so it only made sense that my
father would want to spend time wit his lover. 
I unlock the front door and do my best to walk straight, praying that I don't
smell as bad as I feel. 
"Jeon, son, there you are. We've been waiting for you to come home. Look who
stopped by!" My father shouts with a broad grin on his face, looking more
intoxicated than I did. 
No. It was clearly the alcohol playing a trick on me. There was just no fucking
way. I felt my keys slip through my suddenly numb fingers as my eyes looked
into his far too calm ones. 
"Hello, Jeon. It is so nice to see you again. My how you've grown..." Dennis
says as he scans me from head to toe. 
I felt everything I had eaten and drank coming up my throat rapidly. I manage
to hold it back but find myself dashing out of the door, my feet pounding
against the hard cement as I take off running, running away from my abusive
father, running away from the predator sitting in my living room waiting for me
to lower my guard again, running until I couldn't run anymore. I don't know
where I end up, I don't know what time it is. 
I'm suddenly consumed by the retched anxiety that had had a hold on my life for
years. I couldn't breathe. I tear at my shirt, flinging the tie off along with
the blazer. Sweat caused the white undershirt to cling to my skin
uncomfortably. People walked around me as I hurried to nowhere in particular,
worried if I stopped for even a second that the memories would overwhelm me. I
could already feel my nails digging into my skin hard enough to rip the skin. I
end up bumping into someone's shoulder but continue to walk in a daze. I don't
make it far before the man pulls me back, anger on his face as he and his
friends yell at me. 
A simple bump had set them into this kind of frenzy? I wonder how they would
feel to have their bodies violated. To never feel completely safe again. To
constantly wonder why it had been them when they had never done anything wrong.
Why them? 
The man shoves me harshly against the brick wall, his fist instantly slamming
into my stomach. 
It hurts, it really does hurt, but in that moment I could only feel it
physically and not mentally. Mentally I was already gone, I was no longer Jeon
Jungkook but simply that ten year old bleeding in the shower wondering whether
or not he should get up and try again or just stay down, to just end it all. 
The man and his friends continued to toss my limp body around, taking turns
punching and kicking me. The last coherent thought I had before the man's fist
connected with my face, completely knocking me out, was whether I should
continue to live now that I had Suga and Jimin in my life, a part of me
terrified that even their love was not enough to save me. 
***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Notes
     I have been having a lot of stress at home recently, and taking a
     math course in college for summer probably didn't help matters (my
     worst subject) but writing this story and reading your comments is
     truly helping me so much. Thank you to every single one of you that
     continues to stick with my story, it means the world to me :)
I felt nothing. I felt everything. I could see the people in front of me, hear
the words coming out of their mouths, smell the food placed on the table before
me. My senses were working...yet they weren't. There were words, but nothing
made sense. There were scents, but nothing smelled appealing. I could see the
worry in their eyes but my brain couldn't register what it was they were
concerned with. 
"K-Kookie...please eat?" Jimin pleaded, picking up the spoon beside me to grab
some rice before he placed the cold metal against my closed lips. 
A small part in the back of my mind registered that this was the same meal
Jimin had cooked for me the first time I had spent the night at their house.
But seeing my reflection from the window in front of me, my pale skin littered
with purple bruises that weren't from either of my boyfriends, peeling skin
from scrapes, and other cuts only served to remind me that what I had seen was
no illusion. My hair was oily and disheveled, but not the cute messy. I could
not remember the last time I had showered, but based on the calendar hanging on
the wall it must have been a little over a week. My parents had flooded my
phone with texts, calls, and voice mails. A part of me wanted to be thrilled,
but the sad reality was that there was no real interest on my well being. They
just felt embarrassed that their straight A student had missed school for an
entire week. Wednesday was the last time they called, leaving a voice mail to
let me know I needed to hurry home but that they excused me from school
claiming I was severely sick. None of my 'friends' called. The only other
person that seemed anxious about how I was doing was Tiffany and it caused a
small spark in the pit of my stomach that someone I had known for far less
fussed over me more than Brett or Layla. 
I remember the look on Jimin, Suga, and Hobi's face when they rushed into the
emergency room after I had gained consciousness. No one had ever looked at me
like they were afraid to lose me before and I didn't know how to feel about
that. Jimin had cried causing the still somewhat drunk Suga and Hobi to somber
up real fast. 
Sitting here I forced myself to nibble on Jimin's food, though I couldn't
really taste any flavor. Dark circles had formed under the constantly tense
three boys as they took turns taking care of me. The first night had been
downright awful. I had woken from a nightmare screaming my lungs out far more
louder than I had ever before, truly believing that Dennis was there in the
room with me, going so far as to punch Suga in the face when he attempted to
calm me down. He had instantly forgiven me but I hadn't. The second night was
no better. Jimin had tried to take me a bath but the second I felt his finger
tips graze against the exposed skin of my belly I immediately shoved him away
and began to vomit into the toilet. He had also forgiven me but I could see the
hurt in his eyes and till this moment it still burned in the back of my mind.
The third night had seen some improvement, I ate and settled for the boys
wiping me down with warm towels as a makeshift bath instead of actually getting
into bath tub, which only served to remind me of the time I had tried to kill
myself. The fourth night I had a severe panic attack, shouting, yelling,
crying, throwing items whenever they took any steps towards me. Eventually
their soothing voices calmed me down and then they had to apologize to one
neighbor after the other when they came to the door to complain. In a flash
they had overlooked the incident, but I hadn't. The fifth night Suga had work
and Hobi had to go help his father at their restaurant, leaving a timid Jimin
and I alone. Jimin and I decided to work on our English project since it was
soon to be due but  I found myself pressing my lips against a surprised Jimin,
his soft moan urging me to deepen the kiss. I grasped his hair tightly,
exposing his neck where I began to leave dark bruises, loving the sight of them
just as much as the noise they created from Jimin's throat. It wasn't long
until I was wrestling his pants open, taking his hard length in hand before
pumping him in long, slow strokes. I knew neither Jimin nor Suga had pleased
themselves in a while since they were always taking care of me, so I wasn't
surprised that after a few more strokes and his hips thrusting into my hand he
soon had his eyes screwed shut and his mouth wide open as a low whine released
from his throat the same time his hot seed spilled into my hand. I shouldn't
have been taken off guard that Jimin would want to return the favor. But I was.
When his hand came in contact with the front of my pants I instantly stood up,
claiming I had to use the bathroom. I had ended up locking myself in there
where I spent the next few hours crying. It wasn't until Suga had come home and
patiently coaxed me into coming out did I finally leave the bathroom. Jimin had
never looked so guilty, the sight truly breaking a part inside of me. The sixth
night I had been curled on the couch with the television on in the background,
Hobi sprawled on the floor as he chuckled to whatever was happening on the
small screen when the tension in the bedroom became too much. It was the first
time I had ever heard Jimin and Suga fight, both their voices rising higher and
higher. I knew what they were fighting about. Late at night when they thought I
was asleep I would hear them whisper to each other, Jimin arguing that I needed
professional help but Suga refusing to hand me over to strangers. Hobi silently
put his shoes on before helping me into my own, grabbing my hand and taking me
for a walk as the two continued to bicker. Later on that night when Hobi
dropped me off I found Suga sleeping on the couch and Jimin sleeping in the
bed, both their faces still holding the earlier anger. I ended up climbing into
the bathtub where images of my younger self plagued my mind all night, but I
felt that this was reasonable punishment for making my lovers mad at each
other. The seventh night I had done everything that I could possibly do to make
things less stressful for Suga and Jimin. I ate, I spoke but still mainly
listened, and then I took a bath despite the gnawing fear eating me up inside.
I could see the brief flash of hope in both their eyes as we went to bed that
night. 
Monday morning I had convinced them to both go to school, stating that it would
begin to look weird if one of them continued to miss a day and then switch with
the other. After they had been satisfied with me eating breakfast and being
able to successfully peck my lips without causing a negative reaction, they
were on their way to class. It was then that my resolve immediately shattered.
With shaking hands I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called Tiffany,
begging and crying for her to come pick me up. She was instantly on edge the
minute I told her my location but she asked if I could wait until after school.
She drove a sports car so I knew she would make it here before Jimin and Suga,
but I pleaded for her to come as fast as possible after she was done with
class. In the mean time I busied myself with packing the few belongings Suga
and Hobi had managed to grab for me. I knew the second Suga had come home that
Dennis was still there. He had been so pissed that he had taken his fist to the
wall, creating a massive hole. 
Eventually her car pulled up and she got out to help me put my luggage into the
trunk. She gasped upon seeing my still healing face, gently prodding the
sensitive flesh, "Jeon, my goodness, what has happened to you? Why do you look
so..." she paused. 
"Shitty?" I supply. 
She nods, biting her lip as she takes in my appearance. "How can I help?" 
I knew she was worried. My eyes were red and puffy from crying so much, my skin
clinging slightly to my bones from the lack of food recently, and I knew she
could sense just how dead I was feeling inside. "Take me away for a little bit,
please? I just need to get away." 
We climbed into her car and she quickly turned the radio on to a channel
playing soothing instrumental songs. She encouraged me to take a nap, quieting
my worries by explaining that she knew the perfect place for us to get away for
a while but that it would be a long drive. I rest my head against the window,
knowing I wouldn't be getting any sleep. Just as we began to pull out of the
parking lot, Jimin's car was pulling in. I could see their smiling faces,
feeling their nervous energy through the car as they wondered which Jungkook
they would be walking into. Little did they knew that they wouldn't be met with
the broken Jungkook nor the healing one. They would be met with a brief note
that said:
   I'm so sorry. Though you have forgiven me, I have yet to forgive myself.
      Though you are patient with me, I have lost patience with myself. 
      You want me to heal, and I have also decided that I want to heal. 
I have come to terms that I am not going to give up because you three are worth
                                 living for. 
       But as much as I want it to be you three to heal me, you can't. 
 You've tried, and I appreciate that so much, but the guilt from the constant
                   setbacks are only making me feel worse. 
 I know how much you three wanted to be the ones to help me through this, and
              you have, so please rest easy while I do the rest. 
I need to be able to do this on my own and all I ask is that you be ready with
      open arms when I come home. I know its selfish of me to ask that, 
        but for once in my life I'm going to be selfish. Wait for me? 
                                    Love, 
                                 Jeon Jungkook
 
We had ended up three towns over in a quiet and reserved town. Houses were
spread apart by miles and miles of open green grass. The smell of fresh air and
wet dew grass was comforting as well as the sound of birds chirping and
crickets singing. Tiffany pulled her car into an empty drive way that led to a
massive house that had all the lights off. "Is this your place?" I ask, my
voice hoarse from being quiet for so long. 
She nods, tiredly stretching her sore limbs as we climb out of the car. After
helping me with my luggage we both collapse onto the ginormous couch. "I'm
tired as hell Jeon, and I want nothing more than to soak in a warm bath and
then knock the fuck out but that isn't going to happen until you start
explaining what the hell is going on with you." 
I turn to look at her tired face and bite my lip as I contemplate what to say.
In that moment I knew it would never get easier, nor would there ever be an
easy way to break it to someone that I had been raped. So I blew out a lungful
of air, "I was raped repeatedly by my father's best friend up until I entered
high school and now...he's back." I had honestly thought that I was done
crying, that there was nothing left to cry about. But as the words left my lips
I could already feel the hot tears streaming down my cheeks. I attempted to
cover my face with my arm but Tiffany gently pushed my arm away, her thumbs
wiping away the mess. 
"Fuck, Jeon, I...I never would have...I just thought that..." She was render
speechless. 
I nod, "My parents are perfect, right? Come on Tiffany...I figured you of all
people would understand." I joke, though we both knew there was some truth
behind my words. 
She nods as well, taking my hand in hers before squeezing it in a comforting
way. "Yeah, they look like angels on the outside but they're just as fucked up
in the head as we are. Jungkook...there really are no words for something that
shitty. But if that asshole even breathes in your way, you better tell me. I'll
fuck him up so bad I'll end up in jail, you hear me?" Tiffany growled. 
I can't resist the chuckle that comes tumbling out of my throat, "You'd go to
jail for me?" I question, a small smile forming on my lips. 
Her fingers skim tenderly down my cheek, her eyes looking into mine closely.
"We haven't known each other long but from the moment I met you I knew that you
were the type of person that is worth going to hell and back for." 
A mixture of anxiety and warmth spread through out my chest, emitting a small
sigh as I finally had some kind of reaction. "I hope you keep that in mind,
being stuck with me for a while isn't going to be pleasant." I warn. 
Her eyes flutter shut, the long drive taking it's toll on her. She quietly
mumbles, "Then we'll make it pleasant." And then she's out like a light.
The screaming started a little over two in the morning. I had frightened
Tiffany so bad that she rolled off the couch, chest heaving and eyes
frantically searching for an intruder. When she saw that I was curled into
myself, covered in cold sweat, she immediately kneeled down and began to rub my
back soothingly. I flinched at her touch but the smell of her perfume and the
sound of her feminine voice helped ground me back into reality. My heart beat
soon returned to normal, and I wasn't sure exactly when I had buried my face
into the crook of her neck, but after calming down I sat up and she was quick
to sit beside me. Her face was etched with concern which turned into confusion
when I lightly laughed. 
"A-Are you okay?" Tiffany asked, unsure as to whether laughing after waking
from a nightmare was normal. 
"I wasn't sure if it would work but it did. See, although I trust Jimin, Suga,
and Hobi and am comfortable with them touching me, whenever I woke from my
nightmares their scent-even though they smell nothing like that bastard-still
sent me into a frenzy because they smell like men. With my disoriented mind its
hard to tell apart that they aren't him and sometimes when I have...I don't
know what they're called but when they touch me, sometimes I feel like I'm back
in that room with him." 
I can see the wheels in Tiffany's head turning as she processes the
information. "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, that's what it's called." 
I shrug, "I guess. But anyways, your scent helped...so thank you." 
Tiffany huffs loudly as she sinks into the couch, "Have you thought about
getting medication for this? It's okay to receive a little help from
professionals, you know?" 
I nod, "I have thought about it...I think I'm ready to talk to a
professional." 
Tiffany grabs the quilt blanket that had been placed on the top of the couch,
wrapping it around the both of us. "We'll go in a few hours, preferably when
the sun comes up, okay?" She pauses, sniffing before scrunching her nose, "And
after we give you a shower." 
I knew taking a shower was going to be a completely different obstacle that
needed to be overcome, but I decided to let Tiffany get in a few more hours of
sleep. 
Showering had started off as a complete disaster which ended with Tiffany
having to stand in the shower with me as I kept my eyes focused on her while
she scrubbed shampoo into my mangled hair before helping me rinse my body. As
she carefully helped me rinse my hair out she giggled, "This is the first time
I've ever been in a shower with a naked man that hasn't attempted anything on
me. Though I guess that has to do with you liking guys and all, otherwise I'd
probably have a problem with you seeing me naked." 
My body instantly tenses. 
She rolls her eyes and playfully smacks my wet shoulder, the sound echoing in
the quiet house. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." 
I gulp as I calm my beating heart, "Was I that obvious?" 
She shrugs, "I'm good at paying attention to details. You needed me as a cover
because your parents wouldn't approve, yet the only people you've hung out with
that your parents wouldn't approve of is Jimin, Suga, and Hoseok. You're
clearly really close to them if they know your big secret, and you're
comfortable enough to let them touch you. I think the only problem I'm having
is figuring out which of the three you're dating." 
I clear my throat, looking down at my feet, "J-Jimin...and Suga." I answer. 
She stares at me, momentarily shocked before she's bending over in laughter.
"Damn Jeon, you lucky bastard. Not one, but you snatched two hotties? I've
never felt so proud before." 
The tension immediately leaves my body as I finally gush about my lovers to
someone that I now knew wasn't going to judge me. 
I had never felt more thankful to have someone by my side as I did through out
the rest of the day. Tiffany continued to hold my hand as I took test after
test, examination after examination, even blood tests. By the time I was
finished I felt emotionally and physically drained. I spoke to someone about
the incident, though I opted to keep everyone I spoke about anonymous which the
doctor said was completely okay, scheduling to have a few more sessions with
me.
As the days continued to pass I opened up more to Dr. Edwards and she explained
to me more about the different mental disorders I had. Tiffany had guessed
correctly when she said I had PTSD, though along with that I suffered from
Depression, panic disorder/anxiety, and a slight eating disorder. I even opened
up about Jimin and Suga and there was not the slightest judgement in her eyes.
I was eventually put on medication but through out the week we had to change a
few prescriptions here and there if we noticed that some of them weren't
working. 
By the time we were heading home I felt like I had shed a hundred pounds off my
shoulders. I knew there was going to be a lot more to work through, this wasn't
something that could easily be fixed with medication or a few conversations.
But I knew I was at the point that I now needed Suga and Jimin's help. Dr.
Edwards had encouraged me to slowly become more physical with them now that I
was taking medication, but to take things slow. 
"I already called your mom and apologized to her, telling her that I stole you
away for a romantic get away to Italy." Tiffany informed me as we grew closer
to Suga and Jimin's place. 
"For a month?" I ask in disbelief. Who would buy that?
She nods, "She believed me. She said she was so happy to see her son so in love
that she was fine with it, but she wants you home by tonight because you've
already missed a lot of school." 
Tiffany parks the car and we sit in silence. "Tiffany, I truly don't think I'll
ever be able to repay you for all that you've done. I...I honestly don't think
I'd still be here if it weren't for you." 
She throws an arm over my shoulder, pulling me closer to her in a tight hug. "I
know you would have done the same. I'm going to be pestering you from now on,
and don't ever hesitate to ask for my help." 
I wanted to stay there and continue to thank her, but my heart was already
pounding and my palms were sweating as I thought of finally getting to see them
again after so long. "I owe you." I say with a grin, climbing out of the car
and grabbing my luggage. 
She lowers her window, winking, "Yeah you do. Now go make out with your
boyfriends and I'll go do the same with my own." 
I felt the tip of my ears burn as I looked around to make sure no one heard.
Just because Tiffany and Dr. Edwards were accepting of my relationship didn't
mean the whole world was. "I'll call you later." I say as I hurry up the
stairs, my fist pounding on the front door. 
Jimin opened the door and didn't have enough time to even see my face before I
was hurtling myself at him, wrapping my arms around his waist and lifting him
off his feet, spinning him around as I buried my face in his neck, chuckling at
his cute little yelp. 
"K-Kookie?" Jimin asks, unsure.
I pull back enough so that we're forehead to forehead, brushing my lips against
his plumped ones. "I'm back. God...I've missed you." 
Jimin's eyes begin to water as he cries into my chest, "I've missed you so
much. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, I...I worried whether you were okay or
not day and night. Damn it Jungkook, don't ever run off like that again,
okay?" 
I put him back on his feet, nodding as I bring my hands to his face so that I
can bend down and press my lips against his firmly, my tongue instantly delving
into his velvety mouth. "I've missed the way you taste." I groan as I pull away
only to tilt my head in the other direction, his hand gripping the back of my
neck, pulling me until we're flushed together. 
"J-Jungkook?" Suga's voice grabs my attention, a low whine leaving Jimin's
throat at the lack of my lips on his as I turn my face to see Suga fresh out of
the shower with only a towel wrapped on his slender hips. 
I hurry over to him, wrapping my arms around his still wet form. I lightly peck
his lips, moving back before we could get carried away because as much as I
wanted to get lost into both of them, there were things that needed to be
discussed. 
I told them about my mental illness, about Dr. Edwards, about being able to
shower, and being on medication. I told them how the other night I fell asleep
without having a nightmare and woke up without a nightmare as well. I told them
how much I missed them, how sorry I was, and how glad I was to be back. 
"My mom expects me home tonight." I whisper, not wanting to shatter the
calmness that had settled in us as we sat snugly on the couch with me in the
middle. 
"Go home then. Jimin and I know how to sneak into your window, we were able to
practice when we had to get your stuff. Lock your bedroom door and we'll meet
you inside, okay?" Suga says comfortingly as he rubs soothing circles into my
arm. 
"H-He might still be there...I don't know if it'll set me back..." 
Jimin kisses my temple before resting his head on my shoulder, "We're here for
you Kookie. Our arms are wide open, so come home now, okay?" 
I went home that night. But it wasn't underneath my parent's roof. I had
realized that home wasn't with them, but wrapped in Suga and Jimin's bed sheets
as we shared passionate kisses and hot touches. I had told them I still wasn't
ready for penetration and they were completely okay with it, opting for mutual
masturbation much like my time with Jimin in the bathroom stall. Jimin and Suga
were everywhere, completely flooding my senses. Suga's teeth sank painfully
into my shoulder as Jimin soothed it over with his tongue. 
My hand was wrapped around Suga's hard member while his was wrapped around
Jimin's and Jimin's hand was wrapped around my own. The room was filled with
filthy sounds that should have sent me into a panic but I could now clearly
detect the difference in smell, noise, and taste. The way Jimin moaned loudly,
the way Suga quietly grunted when he liked the way something felt. Their salty
sweat and earthy scent. The mess of lube mixed with precum. Everything was
different with them. It was nothing like what Dennis had put me through. Their
gentle strokes and tender touches pushed me further and further over the edge.
They knew just how rough they could be without triggering anything. By the time
we each reached our peaks we were panting loudly, stupid grins on our faces as
we shared loving kisses against each other's swollen lips. Our limbs felt
completely loose and relaxed, fatigue taking over us all. 
"We need to clean up." I say only to be met with tired groans. As much as I
wanted to fall asleep then and there, the quickly cooling cum was already
beginning to stick to my skin. I get up and grab warm wet towels, walking over
to wipe away the mess we had created before discarding the soiled fabric,
crawling under the bed covers where I'm immediately engulfed by both Suga and
Jimin. 
I knew I would eventually have to come face to face with the shit storm
awaiting me at both home and school, but in that moment I could careless. 
I was happy again. I was with the two people I loved the most in the world. I
could only pray that the peace would last. 
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