Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11412189.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Fandom:
      Haikyuu!!
  Relationship:
      Hinata_Shouyou/Kageyama_Tobio, Hinata_Shouyou/Tsukishima_Kei, Hinata
      Shouyou_&_Sugawara_Koushi, Hinata_Shouyou_&_Sawamura_Daichi, Hinata
      Shouyou_&_Hinata_Natsu, Hinata_Shouyou/Kageyama_Tobio/Tsukishima_Kei,
      Hinata_Shouyou_&_Kageyama_Tobio_&_Tsukishima_Kei
  Character:
      Hinata_Shouyou, Kageyama_Tobio, Hinata_Natsu, Tsukishima_Kei, Yamaguchi
      Tadashi, Sawamura_Daichi, Sugawara_Koushi, Azumane_Asahi, Nishinoya_Yuu,
      Tanaka_Ryuunosuke, Ennoshita_Chikara, Kinoshita_Hisashi, Narita_Kazuhito,
      Shimizu_Kiyoko, Hinata_Shouyou's_Family, Hinata_Shouyou's_Father, Ukai
      Keishin, Takeda_Ittetsu, Oikawa_Tooru, Iwaizumi_Hajime, Kozume_Kenma,
      Kuroo_Tetsurou, Karasuno_Volleyball_Club
  Additional Tags:
      Hinata_Shouyou_is_Sunshine, hinata_is_depressed, Sad!Hinata,
      depressed!hinata, Team_Dynamics, Suga_Loves_Hinata, KageHina_-_Freeform,
      TsukiHina, Daichi_is_confused, Tanaka_Just_Wants_to_Help, Oikawa_isn't_as
      much_of_an_asshole, Kenma_cries, Implied/Referenced_Alcohol_Abuse/
      Alcoholism, Rape, Cutting, Self-Harm, Panic_Attacks, Anxiety_Attacks,
      Suicidal_Thoughts, Hinata's_mom_is_sick, His_Dad_Is_A_Dick, Eventual
      Happy_Ending, maybe?_-_Freeform, Probably., Minor_Character_Death
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-07-05 Updated: 2018-01-26 Chapters: 13/? Words: 60082
****** This Little Light of Mine ******
by tropicalanee
Summary
     Hinata's going through a really tough time, but he'd rather not
     burden his team.
     The Karasuno Volleyball Team begin to worry anyways. And all at once,
     everything starts falling apart.
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
     Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression,
     Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harrasment
     (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to
     be added)
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
Notes
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
     Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression,
     Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harrasment
     (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to
     be added)
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
***** The Eclipse *****
No one was really sure when it started, but lately Hinata Shouyou has been
distancing himself from his volleyball team. The first year was usually
bouncing off the walls, similar to a baby bird. He was quite known for his
bubbly and outgoing personality, so it didn’t exactly take a genius to figure
out something was wrong with the little red head when he started becoming
reserved.
                                     -----
The first sign was a couple weeks ago. Usually, Kageyama would meet up with
Hinata on their way to morning practice and the duo would end up racing each
other to the school. But one day, Hinata didn’t show up. Kageyama had simply
shrugged it off, thinking that the small middle blocker had simply overslept.
When the blue eyed setter arrived at school that morning, Hinata had already
been waiting on the stairs that led to the club room. Kageyama felt angered by
the fact that Hinata had gotten to school before him, therefore winning in
their daily morning race. “Oi, dumbass.” Kageyama had called, seeing his
partner flinch at the sound of his voice. “What time did you get here?” As the
first year setter approached the sun child, he noticed something was off right
away.
Instead of gloating about his instantaneous win that morning, Kageyama noticed
how Hinata looked completely and utterly exhausted, as if the latter hadn’t
gotten any sleep the night before. “Hey..Kageyama.” Hinata had greeted quietly,
which was unusual in itself. Hinata was just born a naturally loud and bright
person. And currently, the boy sitting on the stairs was not the Hinata that
Kageyama knew. Instead of glowing ginger hair, the color seemed dull in a way
that Kageyama just couldn’t describe. Hinata’s skin was pale, which was hard to
tell considering that Hinata’s normal complexion was as pale as it came. Dark
purple bags appeared to sink the small first year’s eyes into his skull. But
what really bothered Kageyama was Hinata’s eyes themselves. Usually, Hinata’s
golden brown eyes glowed with determination and passion, lighting up everything
in their line of sight. But as of right now, Hinata’s eyes just looked dead,
void of any emotion. That alone caused a shiver to run down Kageyama’s spine.
“Hinata.” The raven haired teen called the attention of his friend. Hinata
stared at him. “What’s wrong?” Kageyama asked, seriously concerned. Hinata just
shook his head though, running his right hand through his hair. Kageyama almost
wanted to punch the ginger when he was flashed a small, weak smile. But
Kageyama only saw the fakeness.
Needless to say that when the rest of the team--as well as Coach Ukai and
Takeda-sensei--had arrived, everyone was thrown off by both Hinata’s appearance
and lack of spirit. The little ball of energy was no more, missing every single
one of Kageyama’s tosses. It was like Hinata wasn’t even with them. His mind
was clearly somewhere else. Ukai was worried about the sudden ‘off day’ that
Hinata was having, so he resorted to pulling Hinata off the court for the day. 
Everyone was taken aback when Hinata had thrown a fit. “NO! I’M STAYING!” The
ginger yelled weakly. 
“Hinata, in your condition right now, you’re at a risk of hurting others and
more importantly, yourself.” Ukai tried to explain calmly. It was obvious that
Hinata was fragile at the moment, so Ukai had to restrain himself from yelling
at the teen boy. “You can play again when I see that you’re feeling better. For
now, sit back and rest.” Hinata had opened his mouth to argue, but was
immediately silenced when a hand was placed on his left shoulder. He turned to
see who it was, only to find that it was his captain. Daichi’s dark brown eyes
willed the small middle blocker off the court with a small frown tugging at his
lips. With that, Hinata clicked his tongue and sat in the farthest corner away
from everyone. 
Reluctantly after that, everyone else resumed practice, though the air was
thick with tension. Every now and then, they would sneak glances toward Hinata.
The ginger was not watching them practice. Instead, his head was bowed in
between his knees and his hands ruffling his hair with exasperation. 
They were worried.
                                     -----
The second sign came a couple days after the first, on a Monday.
Hinata was doing a little better. Some color had returned to his face and his
eyes no longer seemed to sink into his head. The bags under his eyes were less
prominent, though they still ghosted the under portion of the ginger’s eyes.
The small middle blocker walked into practice that morning, late. No one
scolded him, or even bothered bringing it up. The volleyball team greeted
Hinata like they usually would, but what they were not expecting was Hinata
bowing at a perfect ninety degree angle in front of them. “I’m sorry for the
way I acted on Friday.” He apologized in the quietest voice ever heard from the
sun child.
Sugawara stepped forward, patting his underclassman’s head and signaled for the
first year to stand up straight. “Don’t mind, Hinata.” The ashen haired third
year smiled brightly, in hopes of easing a bit of the tension in the gym. What
the other’s noticed was that Sugawara didn’t ask why the ginger acted the way
he did. And they understood. It was too soon.
And practice semi went back to normal. Tension was still high, and many pairs
of eyes lingered on Hinata’s small frame for a minute or so during breaks.
Hinata wasn’t smiling still, nor was he bouncing around annoying the other
first years. Instead, he kept his distance from the team and only interacted
with them when he was approached first. Even then, he only gave one worded
responses. 
Kageyama noticed that Hinata had begun doing the same during classes. The
ginger was pushing away his friends. He quickly disappeared as soon as the bell
rang for lunch, and when Kageyama tried going after him, Hinata just sped up.
It was only then, that Kageyama cursed his partner’s agility and stamina. Even
when the raven haired setter tried looking for Hinata throughout lunch period,
the boy was nowhere to be found. The bell rang again an hour later, telling
students to return back to their classes for the next half of the day. Kageyama
didn’t see Hinata again until right before the teacher entered the room.
Hinata had scurried in quickly, head down and not making eye contact with
anyone. When Hinata took his seat, Kageyama leaned forward to whisper toward
his teammate. “Oi, dumbass. Where were you during lunch?” Kageyama had
questioned. Dull golden eyes glanced his way for a second, before he was
shrugged off and the teacher walked in.
It only got weirder as the day went on.
Practice had come to an end, for the most part. Ukai had dismissed the bunch of
rowdy teenagers for individual practice. Ukai had left early to take care of
the Foot Hill Store at the bottom of the hill, while his mom cleaned out the
storage area. Takeda had also taken his leave, with the excuse of needing extra
time to correct homework in his classes. That left Daichi and Sugawara to lock
up the gym after everyone decides to finally call quits for the night.
“Hinata.” Kageyama called out to the ginger, who was making his way toward the
door. The others watched the scene from the corners of their eyes. “Let’s
practice our new quick.” The blue eyed first year stated. His eyes watched
sharply, catching the way Hinata’s shoulders twitched as if he’d been caught
stealing.
Hinata turned around fully, rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand.
“I can’t Kageyama. I actually need to leave early today, so..” The first year
whispered, eyes staring intently at the waxed wooden floors. Hinata glanced up
for a mere second, catching sight of Kageyama’s piercing blue eyes, and
flinched. As if to cover up his reaction, Hinata smiled smally, like he’s been
doing lately.
And god. They hated it.
It was so clearly, utterly fake. It made the team’s skin crawl with discomfort.
It simply wasn’t their Hinata.
When Hinata got no replies of protest, he quickly escaped out the gym.
And it became a usual thing. Hinata would bolt out of the gym as soon as
everyone was dismissed for individual practice.
                                     -----
A week and a half had gone by since Hinata’s strange behavior started. And
everyone on the volleyball team was scared for their little ginger haired
teammate. Takeda spoke to Hinata’s teachers on a daily basis, trying to find
anything out about the aforementioned student’s sudden change in behavior. But
oddly enough, no one had heard a thing. Ukai was forced to continuously pull
Hinata off the court due to the baby crow’s mental and physical state
deteriorating. Each time, Hinata would try to convince him that he was okay and
that he could continue playing, but Ukai couldn’t take the risk. And Hinata
would frown, and leave the gym. They all pretended like they hadn’t heard the
screams of frustration and anguish on these particular days.
Daichi, being the team captain, was at a complete loss. He didn’t know how to
help his hurting junior. At first he had tried waiting to see if Hinata would
come to him, maybe tell him what was wrong. But that only stayed a dream of
hope. Hinata never came to him, and as far as he was concerned, the ginger
didn’t go to anyone else. Daichi wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t know who to
ask, because clearly, no one else knew either.
Sugawara was beyond worried for Hinata. Probably more so than anyone else.
Besides Tanaka, Sugawara had been on Hinata’s side since the beginning of the
year. The ginger was very precious to the ashen haired teen, like a younger
brother that Sugawara never got. So seeing his brotherly figure hurting like he
was, Sugawara was pained too.
Asahi felt just like anyone else. He was worried. Never had he imagined Hinata,
of all people, to be so broken and lost. The first year was always bouncing
here and there, declaring his rivalry with everyone in sight. Asahi missed the
way Hinata would grin up at him, telling him that we was the coolest ace ever
and that Hinata wouldn’t lose to him. Somehow, Asahi wanted to help Hinata,
just like the way Hinata’s spirit helped him stand on the court again.
Tanaka was in pieces. His head was muddled by thoughts of Hinata being bullied
and too scared to say anything to his senpai. Sometimes, Tanaka couldn’t help
the morbid thoughts that flooded his mind. He was scared for Hinata. Tanaka
wondered why the ginger wouldn’t come to him because Hinata would always hint--
or even flat out say it--that he would always come to Tanaka if someone was
messing with him. So why was this different?
Nishinoya didn’t even know what to think. To him, Hinata was the only
underclassman that really, undoubtedly looked up to him as an upperclassman.
Hinata was similar to him in lots of ways, for instance the way they were so
genuine and radiated positive energy. With Hinata now being so quiet and
distant, it caused Nishinoya to think that he had to be positive enough for the
two of them. It felt like he wasn’t allowed to openly show his concern for
Hinata because he had to comfort the rest of his team by staying positive. It
was tiring. He wanted Hinata back.
Yamaguchi was worried about everyone, not just Hinata. The team was constantly
surrounded by an air of tension and stress. He found it rather depressing, but
he was not like Hinata or Nishinoya. He couldn’t say anything to cheer up the
team. Yamaguchi knew his words wouldn’t reach them. He had to idly stand by and
watch his teammates--no, his friends--slowly destroy themselves. And Yamaguchi
didn’t blame Hinata. Oh god, of course not. Hinata was the one hurting the
most, but that still didn’t change the fact that everyone was being affected
negatively.
Tsukishima may come off as a jerk most of the time, but he did care for his
team. Not that he’d admit that to anyone. He saw how much his team needed the
light that Hinata constantly radiated. Now that it was taken away from them,
they were all left in the dark, blind and cold. So Tsukishima observed Hinata
closely, trying to pick out anything that might give away why he had started
acting the way he did. But even for someone as keen and intelligent as
Tsukishima, the blonde couldn’t see anything. All he saw were the telltale
signs of exhaustion. Of course, he knew that there was something more. Maybe
Hinata was a better liar than they all gave him credit for.
Kageyama didn’t know how to react to everything that was going on. Sure, he
admitted that he was worried for his partner, but what use is that? Hinata was
still hurting and there was nothing that he could do to alleviate some of that
pain. Kageyama’s tried helping Hinata out, like siding with the ginger when
Ukai wanted to pull that latter off the court. He’d argue that Hinata was still
okay for a couple for spikes. But it always ended the same way. Hinata was
forced off the court. Kageyama would feel the urge to chase after him, knowing
what would come next. The screams. The painful, soul cutting screams filled
with such distress. They echoed in Kageyama’s head every time he closed his
eyes. He didn’t know what else he could do to help. The team was slowly falling
apart and Kageyama was powerless to stop it.
                                    ----- 
The third sign was the worst one yet.
It scared them all. It made their blood run cold.
It made them question, ‘Why?’
On Wednesday afternoon, into the second week of Hinata’s strange behavior, the
ginger was that last to arrive in the club room. But even that had become a
usual thing now. There were no more rowdy races between Kageyama and Hinata. So
when the tiny middle blocker entered the room, everyone whispered their
greetings toward him. Their eyes following Hinata’s small frame as he settled
in that farthest corner away from everyone.
It was normal.
Hinata would come in late, set his bag down in the farthest corner, and
sluggishly undress--practically waiting for everyone else to leave before he
completely unclothed himself. This time was just a bit different though.
Everyone moved slower than usual in undressing, taking their time. Their eyes
glued to Hinata.
The one that was being stared at, flinched under everyone’s predatory gaze.
Hinata felt uncomfortable. He just wanted to take his bag and run home. The
ginger tried going slower in undressing, waiting for his teammates to leave.
But they didn’t. So with a heavy heart and tears pooling at the corners of
golden brown eyes, Hinata stripped himself of his school uniform. He thanked
his past self for deciding to wear a long sleeve under his uniform. Hinata
rummaged through his bag and pulled out his practice shorts, and quickly
slipping them on. He slipped on his outdoor shoes and quietly whispered, “I’ll
be leaving first then..” With that, Hinata was the first to leave.
Kageyama watched quietly as Hinata squirmed under the heat of the white long
sleeved shirt he was wearing. Shimizu had offered the boy some water, and
Hinata took it, greedily gulping the contents down. The raven haired teen heard
Shimizu speak, “Why don’t you change into a tshirt, Hinata?”
The middle blocker flinched, flashing that fake smile again. “I’m okay.” Was
all he said, before rushing back onto the court to escape any further
confrontation.
“Hinata, maybe you should go change.” Sugawara tried again, and Kageyama
assumed that the third year heard Shimizu’s suggestion as well. “We don’t want
you passing out from overheating your body.” He said calmly. Sugawara reached
up to lightly place his hand on Hinata’s shoulder. But Hinata noticeably
flinched backward, eyes wide. Fear underlying the brown hues of Hinata’s eyes.
Everyone took note of the panic that seemed to flash across the ginger’s face,
and how Hinata’s breath had quickened.
Asahi frowned at the sight. He knew the symptoms well. Beads of sweat began
forming on the side of Hinata’s temple. The way the first year’s eyes crinkled
at the corners, wanting to shut them closed but too scared to lose sight of
what was in front of him. How Hinata’s fists clenched and unclenched.
Especially the way the boy’s chest heaved up and down, slowly becoming faster
and faster with each breath. Asahi tried to voice out his suspicion, but his
tongue wouldn’t form words. Instead, he watched helplessly as his teammates,
coach, advisor, and manager began to crowd the scared baby crow.
But finally seeing Hinata collapse to the ground and curl in on himself was
enough to get Asahi moving. He pushed through the others, “Get back.” He didn’t
even recognize his own voice, deep, demanding, calm. Asahi bent down in front
of Hinata, about a foot away. “Hinata.” He cooed softly, not making any
movements to touch the first year. Asahi called the ginger’s name again,
quieter, so only Hinata could have possibly heard him. Golden brown eyes looked
back at him through damp orange locks. Hinata’s figure shook, and Asahi could
hear his panting becoming more and more strained. “Hinata, you have to breathe,
okay?” Asahi made a move this time, ever so slowly reaching out. He froze when
Hinata’s breath hitched again and the tremors became worse. Still the two did
not break eye contact. “I’m not going to do anything, Hinata. I just want to
help. And I need you to breath. Can you do that?” By the end of Asahi’s
sentence, he had successfully managed to place a hand on Hinata’s shoulder.
Hinata nodded faintly. Asahi took deep breaths, along with Hinata, who was
finally calming down from his panic attack. Still, Asahi stared directly into
the younger boy’s eyes. And after another silent minute, Hinata was breathing
normally again. The tremors wracking his small figure had stopped. Now, Hinata
just looked exhausted with his half lidded eyes and the way he leaned into
Asahi’s touch. It was the first time in a long time that they’d seen Hinata
willingly accept hand-to-hand contact.
“Nice job, Asahi.” Daichi praised with a thin smile. Hinata’s eyes were closed
and the boys breathing was slow. He was asleep.
Asahi smiled back, lifting Hinata and carrying the first year to the side.
Shimizu had pulled off her jacket and folded it for Hinata to sleep on. The
giant ace carefully set the ginger down. “I used to have panic attacks a lot as
a kid.” He whispered, sheepishly.
“I’m sorry.” Everyone turned at the sound of Sugawara apologizing. “I triggered
it.”
“Don’t apologize Suga-san.” Nishinoya patted the third year setter’s back.
“It’s not like you meant to do it.” Sugawara nodded, giving his underclassman a
small smile.
“We should change his shirt.” Ukai suggested, seeing the way that sweat still
stuck to Hinata’s skin. “We can’t have him overheating.” There was a small
murmur of agreement.
Tsukishima had returned from the club room, holding one of Hinata’s practice
shirts in his hand. He handed it to Sugawara. Asahi lifted Hinata’s upper body
carefully, letting Sugawara easily reach to remove Hinata’s long sleeve. But it
wasn’t long until the ashen haired teen stopped, hands frozen halfway from
pulling off the shirt. There before them, was their precious teammate, student,
and friend. He was sleeping peacefully after a bad panic attack, but what had
made them freeze was the sight of bandages being wrapped around Hinata’s torso.
The team held their breaths.
Slowly--and now even more carefully than before--Sugawara pulled the white long
sleeve over Hinata’s head. The setter froze once more. He faintly heard someone
turning away and gagging. He also hear the gasps and sobs that broke past his
friend’s lips. But Sugawara’s mind was completely blank. His honey brown eyes
wide, as he scanned Hinata’s body.
The ginger’s body was skinny, too skinny. The outline of his ribs were peaking
through the skin. Hinata’s body was no longer the toned one they knew. Bandages
were sloppily wrapped around the majority of Hinata’s upper body. Sploches of
dark red, almost black, looking spots bled through the dirtied bandages, both
on Hinata’s back and stomach.
Sugawara barely registered Shimizu taking place besides him, a first aid kit at
her side. He barely noticed when Asahi’s place was taken by Takeda. Nor did he
notice when he was lifted to his feet and ushered outside with the rest of the
team. “Suga. Suga. Suga!” Sugawara blinked, his eyes focusing on the blur in
front of him. It was Daichi, who’s eyes were just as wide as his. “Suga, are
you okay?” Daichi questioned. It took a moment for the words to process in his
head. Just then, Sugawara heard the others. He heard sobbing, probably from
Asahi and Yamaguchi. He heard Nishinoya and Tanaka cursing whoever caused those
wounds littering Hinata’s abdomen. He heard Kageyama and Tsukishima mutually
agreeing on plans to kill whoever hurt Shinata. He hear Ennoshita muttering
‘no’ over and over again, under his breath. He heard Kinoshita and Narita
quietly asking themselves, ‘why didn’t we notice sooner?’ He heard Ukai’s
muffled voice through the closed doors of the second gym, talking to someone on
the phone. He heard Takeda’s soft but stern instructions guiding Shimizu
through thoroughly cleaning Hinata’s injuries. “Suga!” Sugawara turned his eyes
back to Daichi, who was still staring at him.
“I’m not okay.” Sugawara breathed out. “God, I’m not okay.” He was pulled into
a hug by Daichi. “Who...who would do that? T-to Hinata….of all people..?”
Daichi’s voice cracked as he spoke. “I don’t know. But we’ll find them. We’ll
turn them in.” He said surely. “We’ll be there for Hinata now, and help him.”
“We’re not just going to stand by anymore.”
***** Insight *****
Chapter Notes
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
     Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression,
     Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harrasment
     (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to
     be added)
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
Everything has been going wrong for Hinata lately. In a span of a couple weeks,
so many things have changed in the sun child’s life. So many things that were
just out of his control.
And Hinata hated it.
He hated the fact that he was so weak in front of his worst fears. He hated
that he knows how different he acted at school. He hated everyone was
constantly worried about him. He especially hated that he was the cause of
others current dismay.
He was Hinata Shouyou, after all.
He was supposed to be the endless ball of energy that no one could even
possibly dream of controlling. He was supposed to be the child that was born
from the rays of sunlight that touched the Earth. He was supposed to smile and
grin, and not have any care in the world.
But Hinata just couldn’t anymore.
                                     -----
Hinata was scared when he woke up.
The world was blurred into an array of foggy colors. One was particularly close
to Hinata. It was a mass of black that floated above him. The blur moved, and
Hinata blinked. Once. Twice. Then the world came into view. The person leaning
over Hinata was Takeda. The teacher’s lips moved, but Hinata couldn’t make out
any words.
A groan clawed itself past Hinata’s lips. “Hinata.” He heard Takeda call his
name. “Stay still. We need to fix your bandages.”
And suddenly, Hinata felt like he was drowning. His breath was caught in his
chest, and he noticed how cold the air seemed. Slowly, Hinata blinked and moved
his golden brown eyes away from Takeda’s warm brown hues. He looked around,
noticing his manager to his right and especially took note of the first aid kit
on her lap. Ukai was pacing a few feet away, glaring at his phone and muttering
a string of curses. Then Hinata looked down at his own body. The way his upper
half was openly exposed to the three people in the gym.
Panic flooded through Hinata again. His blood went cold and chills wracked his
body. He shook away from Takeda’s grip, fleeing toward the closest corner of
the gym. The world spun around Hinata. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking,
‘They know. God, they know. They’ll hate me.’ Over and over again, the thoughts
repeated in his head. Hinata felt the dull thumping against his skull and the
strain he felt itching behind his eyes. His stomach churned. He didn’t hear the
way Takeda cooed at him from a few feet away. It felt like the world was caving
in around him.
Hinata’s breath became staggered. He faintly heard Asahi’s voice in his head,
telling him to breath. And he tried. He really did. But the thoughts and voices
continued to swirl in the black abyss of his subconscious. They wouldn’t go
away.
But through the loud ringing echoing his ears, Hinata was able to make out one
word.
“...ambulance at Karasuno High School right away. We hav-” Ukai’s voice faded
again. And Hinata gasped at the name of the emergency vehicle being uttered. He
didn’t remember moving, but his body snapped forward toward his coach. Hinata
pulled the small device from Ukai’s grasp, and hung up. “Hinata!” Ukai
breathed, staring wide eyed at the first year student.
“I’m fine.” Hinata heard his voice whisper, only it didn’t sound like his. No,
it couldn’t have been his. His voice was loud and full of life. The voice he
heard was strained, and in pain. Definitely not his. “I..I’ll just..go..home?”
The word ‘home’ felt strange on the ginger’s tongue. He blinked. ‘Was it really
home anymore?’ He asked himself.
Takeda stood in front of Hinata, but his figure was only blurred by the mass of
tears pooling his eyes. “You can’t go home in your condition Hinata. You need
to see a doctor. You’re wounds may be infected.” The teacher tried to reason,
but Hinata only heard half of those words.
‘If I go, then they’ll all know. They’ll all leave me. They’ll all-’
“No.” Hinata’s whimpered, crouching down and shielded his face from view. He
barely noticed a jacket being placed upon his shoulders.
There was movement in the corner of Hinata’s eyes, but he didn’t hear anything
that was being said. The thoughts in his head were just too loud for him to
hear anything else. A hand came forward, being placed on Hinata’s shoulder. The
contact was reassuring, but Hinata couldn’t help but to flinch away. The
buzzing in the back of his head was what Hinata sought to focus on, ignoring
the voices in his head and those of the people around him.
Suddenly the room felt small. Hinata felt too crowded. He wanted to escape; to
leave.
And that’s what he did.
Hinata shot up, and out the doors. Colors sped behind him, and the cool wind
hit his skin. Hinata shivered. He had to get away. Away from the small room.
Away from the judgemental eyes of his peers. Just, away from everything.
He didn’t know how long he ran for. Or even where he was going. But when
Hinata’s knees finally buckled, he gasped for air. Hinata placed his right hand
over his heart, clutching at the fabric between his fingers. He desperately
tried to get his breath under control. Again, Asahi’s calm voice told him to
breath. Hinata took a deep breath of air, letting the voices in his head fade.
He did this a couple times, and soon enough, Hinata could finally think clearly
again.
The small middle blocker let his brown eyes glance around at his surroundings.
Hinata recognized the place. And suddenly the teen felt the need to recompose
himself. He had to make it look like nothing was wrong, for her sake. Hinata
stood on shaky legs, zipping up the too large jacket that circled around his
small frame. With a heavy sigh, Hinata took one step forward, and then another.
And the ginger stepped through the gates of a daycare.
Small children played on the playground to Hinata’s left. They were happy and
smiling, like kids should. And for a mere second, Hinata envied them. He wanted
to be happy like that again, like a child without a care in the world. He
wanted to be oblivious to all the horrible things that were currently happening
in his life. Hinata shook his head from the thoughts. The small red headed
first year continued walking toward the small daycare building, where children
constantly ran in and out. “Nii-chan!” Hinata grimaced at the weight that
rocketed itself into his injured abdomen.
Hinata looked down, letting his arms encircle the small ginger girl that
currently had her head buried in his stomach. Her tiny arms couldn’t fully wrap
around his bigger body. Hinata felt his heart swell at the sight of his younger
sister, Hinata Natsu. She looked up at him with a wide toothy smile and shining
golden eyes that were much like his own. “Natsu.” Hinata petted his sister’s
head affectionately.
“Nii-chan, you’re here early.” The girl giggled, then tilted her head. “Or
that’s what sensei said.” Hinata let a genuine chuckle rumble through his
chest. Natsu peering up at him.
“Yes. I’m here early.” Hinata smiled. “Are you ready to go?”
Natsu pulled away from her brother’s grasp. “Yes! I’ll go get my bag!” The tiny
red head exclaimed, and bounced away. Hinata could feel the way his chest ached
at the sight of his younger sister’s back facing him, as she happily engaged
with her friends. Hinata knew he was lying to her, and that hurt more than
anything else. He hated how she was so unaware of how their family was falling
apart; how he couldn’t do anything to stop it from happening.
Hinata felt like a failure. Like a pathetic excuse for an older brother.
“Hinata-kun?” Hinata jerked out of his thoughts, as one of Natsu’s teachers
stood in front of him. “Could you sign Natsu-chan out?” The older woman smiled
thinly. Of course they knew. They had to because sometimes Natsu would throw
fits because their mom wasn’t getting better. Hinata almost regretted not
informing his own school, but he stopped his thoughts before they could
completely form.
“Yes.” Hinata stepped over to the counter on his right. The older woman laid a
clipboard, with a paper printed with a bunch of small boxes, in front of the
ginger. Hinata picked up the pen on the counter and signed his name, and the
current time. Just as he finished writing, he felt tiny hands tug at the edge
of his shirt. “You ready, Natsu?” Hinata’s voice came out small and soft. The
girl nodded her head profusely, causing tufts of orange hair to bounce and
ruffle. “Then we’ll be leaving now.”
Hinata and Natsu walked along, side by side and Natsu’s small hand clutching
her older brother’s. The two waited at the bus stop. Hinata listened to Natsu’s
mindless chatter about the games she played while at daycare. But really, he
wasn’t listening at all.
The pit of his stomach felt empty. Guilt slowly clouded his mind. He left his
friends worrying because he had ran off in his panic. All of his things were
back in his clubroom, so his friends had no way of contacting him. They were
probably really worried, but Hinata had to get out of there. He sighed again.
“Nii-chan?” Natsu’s high pitched voice caused Hinata to look down at the small
girl that tugged on his hand. “Are you okay? Where’s your bag?”
Hinata ruffled his sister’s hair and gave a small smile. “I’m alright Natsu. I
accidentally forgot my things at school.”
The girl giggled into her tiny hand. “You’re so silly, Nii-chan.”
“Yeah. Silly.” Hinata smile faded for a quick second. Before Natsu could
notice, he forced the corner of his lips up. “Let’s go visit mom today too.”
Natsu cheered loudly.
“Can we get mommy a present?” She asked, gazing at Hinata with bright shining
eye. Hinata gently reminded his sister that his things were at his school.
Natsu pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. Just then, the bus that the
Hinata siblings were waiting had pulled up next to the two.
Before Hinata could say anything to her, Natsu turned her head away and stomped
her foot. A low ‘hmph’ came from the girl’s lips. “Tomorrow. I promise.” Hinata
ruffled his sister’s hair. Natsu opened one eye, observing her brother for any
telltale signs of lying. Once deciding that her older brother was telling the
truth, the smaller ginger grinned. Hinata sighed once he saw her smiling
happily.
The bus doors opened, allowing the two siblings to step onto the public
vehicle. Hinata let Natsu step on first, before getting on the bus behind her.
The doors closed and once the two gingers sat down, the bus pulled onto the
streets. During the ride, Natsu bounced in her seat next to the window, talking
about the new picture she drew for their mom. Hinata nodded along
absentmindedly. His thoughts were elsewhere.
Hinata couldn't stop the guilt from bubbling in the pit of his stomach. His
friends must be worried. But that wasn't the only thing. Hinata was mostly
scared of what they thought about him now that they've seen the bruises and
wounds. Slowly, the voices were coming back. They kept repeating the same words
over and over again. ‘They think you're disgusting. They're gonna leave you.’
The words echoed loudly, and Hinata felt everything closing in around him.
The ginger haired high school tried to imagine Asahi speaking to him. Right
now, that was the most comforting thing Hinata could think of. But he couldn't
imagine the gentle ace’s voice whispering comforting things. Instead Asahi’s
voice started reprimanding him, telling him how worthless he was. Then all at
once, the many voices in Hinata’s head started sounding more and more like his
teammates.
Hinata’s breath hitched. He tried ignoring the voices. ‘They’d never say things
like that.’ He tried thinking, but somehow that thought made him sick. ‘What if
they think it though? What if everything up until now has been a lie? Oh god.
They’re really gonna leave me.’
“Nii-chan!” Natsu called directly into Hinata’s right ear. The latter
practically jumped in his seat. “We’re here.” She pointed out the window. The
bus had stopped in front of a huge hospital in Sendai.
Hinata shook his thoughts away for now. They'd probably come back again when he
was alone. “Right.” Hinata whispered, standing from his seat. He held his hand
out to Natsu, who took it and hopped down from the seat the two previously sat
on. “Let’s go check on mom.” The teen said, leading Natsu carefully off the bus
and into the hospital. Hinata made sure to keep him and Natsu out of the
doctor's ways, as they made their way to the front reception desk. “Excuse me.”
Hinata called to the lady that sat behind the counter. The woman turned toward
him.
“Oh, Hinata-kun.” The receptionist smiled. Hinata instantly recognized the pity
in the woman’s blue eyes. “Right, just sign your name like usual and you can go
right up.” She said, nodding to the clipboard and pen on the counter.
Hinata slipped his hand from his sister, reaching up to sign his name down on
the ‘visiting a patient’ list. Natsu, in turn, went to clutch on Hinata’s
jacket. When he finished, the ginger thanked the receptionist and headed toward
the elevators. The two siblings waited in anxious silence as the elevator made
its way to the 5th floor.
As soon as the doors opened, Natsu skipped through the halls with Hinata
following closely behind. The two stopped in front of a door with a sign beside
it. The sign read, ‘room 513.’ Hinata bit his lip and turned toward Natsu.
“Let’s be quiet, okay Natsu? We don't know if mom is awake.” The smaller girl
nodded her head. Hinata reached up, turning the doorknob slowly and pushing it
open.
Natsu peeked inside, honey colored eyes scanning the bed in the far corner of
the room, by the window. The girl suddenly grinned widely and barreled into the
room. Hinata called out for her, but he was ignored. He quickly followed his
sister into the room, where Natsu was already climbing onto the bed next to a
raven haired woman. “Mom!” Natsu hugged the woman tightly.
“Natsu.” Hinata scolded, lightly pulling his sister’s weight off of their mom’s
fragile body.
The woman in the hospital bed smiled warmly. “Hi, Shouyou.” Her voice was soft,
just above a whisper. Hinata leaned down, placing a kiss against her temple and
replied with a ‘hi mom.’ He sat down in a not-so-comfortable chair that was
placed beside his mom’s bed.
The sibling’s mother was quickly pulled into a long conversation with Natsu
about the young child's school. Hinata took the time to glance over his mom’s
body. The woman was small, shorter than Hinata himself. But the way her bones
were visible under pale skin made her seem smaller. His eyes moved up to the
woman’s raven colored hair. It used to be thick, full of life, but now it was
thinner--and still thinning. Her hair was brittle and tangled against the white
pillow below her head. The woman’s eyes--which were the same golden brown as
the ginger haired children--were half lidded and dull. Those eyes were only
ever bright now when Hinata and Natsu came to visit. Hinata looked at how his
mom’s frail body was covered by thick white and blue hospital blankets. How she
seemed so small now, when back then she was passionate and fire-y. She was a
force to be reckoned with.
“Shouyou.” Hinata turned his eyes back up to his mother’s face. “How’s
everything at home and with school?” The woman asked. Hinata had to lean
forward slightly to actually hear her.
Hinata sat up straight again. He smiled, noticing how his mother’s shoulders
relaxed and how she sunk more into the comfort of her bed. “Everything's great
mom. I’m taking care of everything, so don't worry. Just focus on getting
better.”
“Sorry for relying on you like this Shouyou.” The woman reached out, softly
placing her hand against Hinata’s cheek. Hinata leaned into her touch. For just
a minute, he felt like everything would be okay.
Hinata quietly told her, “Don't worry about it.”
                                     -----
Hinata slowly lifted Natsu’s sleeping body off of the hospital bed. He turned
her over, so the girl’s head lie on his left shoulder and both of his arms
behind her knees. It was past visiting hours now the nurses always let Hinata
and Natsu stay past designated hours. Hinata was grateful. “Will you be okay on
the way back, Shouyou?” The woman asked quietly, as not to wake her youngest
child.
“Yeah,” Hinata nodded his head and adjusted his grip on his sister. “I’ll be
okay. We’ll come again tomorrow mom.”
The woman was silent for a second. “You know you don't have to come visit
everyday, Shouyou.” She smiled ever so slightly. “I'm okay here.”
But Hinata shook his head. “No. I like coming everyday. And so does Natsu.” He
replied. “We’ll come tomorrow.” Hinata decided, leaving no room for his mother
to argue. She laughed in return.
“I’ll be waiting then. I love you two. So much.”
“Love you too.”
                                     -----
Hinata was back home, locked in his room. Natsu was sleeping soundlessly on his
bed, curled in a ball against the wall. The ginger was sitting at his desk,
staring at his house phone. He silently debated on whether to call one of his
teammates or not. Maybe he could just apologize tomorrow morning. It was late
anyways, so they probably wouldn't answer in the first place. But then there
was also the fact that his dad was sleeping in the room, just down the hall. If
Hinata were to wake his dad, then there's no telling what the man would do.
Hinata was already punished for being out past curfew.
The young teen was now sporting new black and purple bruises. The spots
littered his pale skin. Carefully placed in places that wouldn't be seen by
anyone but the two of them. But that didn't stop the man from splitting
Hinata’s lip open in a single and final warning.
Hinata sighed, deciding against the call. Yet, the high schooler found himself
reaching out for the phone. His nimble fingers gliding across the number pad.
And soon, the phone was up to his ear and the ringing was loud.
“Hello?” A deep voice sounded through the phone.
Hinata held his breath. ‘Speak? Or not?’ The question repeated in his head.
“Hello? Anyone there?” The voice questioned again. Hinata didn't reply still.
“Look, whoever you are. I can hear you breathing, so-”
“D-Daichi-san..?” Hinata whispered. The ginger heard the rustling of fabric on
the other end.
Suddenly Daichi was speaking again. “Hinata!?” The ginger flinched, pulling the
phone away from his ear. “Hinata! Are you okay?! Are you at home?”
“I-I'm..fine. I'm at home now.” Hinata replied, staring down at his desktop.
“Sorry for running off like that.”
There was a sigh on the other side. “God, we were so worried. You left your
phone in the club room. We didn't know how to get ahold of you.”
“Sorry.”
“Don't apologize Hinata.” Daichi said softly, carefully. “Just...please.” The
older male’s voice cracked from speaking so quietly. “Let us help you.”
Hinata froze. “H-help…?”
“Yes.” Daichi answered. It wasn’t until then that Hinata realized he had spoken
out loud. “But we can’t help if you don’t let us Hinata.”
“I,” Hinata wasn’t sure what to say. For an instant, he regretted making the
call. “I don’t need help with anything…” Was what came from the first year’s
lips. There was another sigh from Daichi. “I swear..Everything’s fine.”
“Hinata.” Daichi responded. His tone was soft, sad almost. Hinata didn’t really
know what to think. Before now, he was so scared of his friend’s thoughts and
that he didn’t want to burden them, Hinata decided to keep his troubles to
himself. Now Daichi had just told him that him and the rest of the team want to
help. Had he made the wrong choice? “Hinata, please..” The captain pleaded.
Hinata was debating with himself again.
The ginger opened his mouth to give an answer, but there was a sudden pounding
on his door. “SHOUYOU!” Hinata flinched at the sound of his father loud and
booming voice. “What the hell do you think you’re doing!? You have school in
the morning! Don’t think that you’ll get to skip!” The man’s words were slurred
and he sounded groggy even though his voice was muffled by the wooden door for
Hinata’s room.
“S-sorry!” Hinata called back to his father. “I..I was just finishing up some
homework.”
“Well go the fuck to sleep!” Was the reply from the other side of the door.
There was stomping that faded down the hall. Then the loud slam of the door.
Hinata flinched again at the sound. He looked toward Natsu on his bed, and the
small girl only stirred.
Hinata turned his attention back to the phone against his ear. “S-sorry Daichi-
san. I have to hang up now..” Daichi didn’t get a chance to speak. “I’ll see
you tomorrow.”
Then the line went dead.
***** Suspicions *****
Chapter Notes
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
     Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression,
     Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harrasment
     (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to
     be added)
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
Daichi had suspicions.
The third year had reasons to believe that Hinata was being abused by his own
dad. But he didn't have enough evidence to make assumptions. Just the way that
Hinata had sounded the night before, after getting in trouble by his dad for
staying up late. Hinata sounded, frightened? Terrified, even. There was also
the fact that Hinata denied help from the team. Not once, but twice. The first
was when the small ginger ran out of the gym unexpectedly. The second was
during that phone call, when Daichi had asked Hinata to let everyone help, and
the ginger had replied with a ‘everything's fine.’ It all worried Daichi.
But went sent the red flag was how Daichi heard the deep, bellowing male voice
on the other line. The man’s words sound slurred. Daichi could guess that he
man might've just been tired, but that didn't sit right for some reason. The
next guess was that the man was drunk. Maybe that would explain the bruises and
cuts on Hinata's skin.
Still, Daichi didn't have enough evidence.
Still, Daichi has to watch Hinata suffer by himself.
                                     -----
Currently, the high school volleyball team were practicing before class
started. The gym was eerily silent, excluding the sound of the volleyballs
hitting the wood floors. When Hinata had walked into the club room that
morning, everyone had asked if Hinata was okay. But at the same time, no one
asked if Hinata got his wounds treated or why he ran off. Somehow they
understood why.
Daichi’s brown eyes quietly observed Hinata from the other side of the gym. The
small middle blocker was slowly practicing the new and improved quick spike
with Kageyama. And for once, the two weren’t arguing. Kageyama was explaining
something to Hinata, and Daichi focused on the cut on Hinata’s bottom lip.
Another mysterious wound.
Daichi couldn't help but to wonder how he got it. No one asked, and he didn't
want to be the first. His mind wandered back toward his accusation from the
previous night. ‘Could it really be abuse? Why would Hinata hide it from us?’
Daichi thought, mindlessly receiving the green, white, and red volleyball that
Asahi had served from the other side of the net.
There was the faint sound of a whistle being blown for a short water break.
Daichi moved off the court, taking a towel that Kiyoko had offered him. He
nodded in thanks and wiped his face clean from the sticky sweat. “Daichi?” The
brunette haired captain turned, looking down toward the slightly shorter vice
captain.
“What’s up, Suga?” Daichi let the towel fall over his shoulders. He opened a
water bottle to take a drink. Daichi looked back at his teammate.
Sugawara was frowning. There was something that was bothering the silver haired
male. He opened his mouth to speak, “You seem...distracted.” Sugawara spoke
carefully, brown eyes glancing to the left, where Hinata stood in the corner of
the gym. It was the ginger’s safe haven that no one wanted to take from him.
“Are you okay?”
Daichi hummed, glancing toward Hinata as well. “Honestly?” The wing spiked
shook his head. “No, I’m not.”
“What’s wrong?” Sugawara asked in a whispered voice. “Is it Hinata?” Daichi
nodded his head.
“I can't tell you here though.” Daichi sighed. “We’ll talk more during lunch.”
He added, setting his things down to return to practice. Sugawara nodded back,
following the captain back onto the court.
Throughout the rest of practice, Daichi and Sugawara would exchange worried
glances when Hinata would quietly apologize for a missed spike. The two were
scared that Kageyama would snap at the small middle blocker, but to their
surprise, the first year setter stayed calm and collected. Kageyama would
correct Hinata’s form and the duo would try again. Just then, Daichi wondered
if Kageyama knew anything. Maybe, maybe not. The captain decided to speak with
the first year after morning practice.
And Daichi didn't have to wait long.
Ukai dismissed the team, and Daichi approached the team’s official setter.
“Kageyama.” He called. The raven haired teen turned over his shoulder. Hinata
stopped too. The ginger glance between Daichi and Kageyama, before running off
to the club room. The two remaining high school students watched the ginger go.
Daichi turned back to Kageyama. “I wanted to ask if you knew anything…” he
spoke slowly, unsurely. “About Hinata.”
Kageyama’s face scrunched up in clear frustration. His eyebrows furrowed and
nose crinkled. “No. He won't tell me anything.” He said just as quietly as
Daichi did. “He won't let me help. I've tried everything, but he won't…”
Daichi sighed, placing his bigger hand firmly on the setter’s shoulder. “We’ll
figure out a way to help him. Don't worry.” He reassured. Kageyama looked at
Daichi. And for the first time since Daichi met Kageyama, the latter looked
helpless. Kageyama looked like his actual age, a first year. A kid. The look
made Daichi determined. Now he was more determined to help Hinata, because the
team was suffering too.
Later on, Sugawara and Daichi met up for lunch. Asahi came too. The three sat
down in the far corner of Daichi’s nearly empty classroom. They spoke in hushed
whispers, not willing to let anyone outside of their circle know about their
suffering teammate. “What did you want to talk about, Daichi?” Sugawara asked
warily. Asahi waited with tense shoulders and lips pressed into a thin line.
Daichi was silent for a minute, in order to gather his thoughts. He didn't was
to alarm his friends with mere theories and accusations. He had to speak
carefully. “I don't want to make an accusations..” Daichi started off with.
Sugawara and Asahi decided to stay silent, waiting for Daichi to finish. “But I
think that..” the captain’s voice lowered another octave. He stared down at his
fidgeting hands. “Hinata might be getting abused...by his dad.”
Silence rested between the three. But it was Asahi that broke the silence. His
voice was deep, just like when he helped Hinata with a panic attack. “What
makes you say that?” Asahi questioned solemnly. His brown eyes half lidded and
plagued with a serious undertone.
Daichi massaged his temples. “I know that I could get in trouble...by accusing
his dad of abuse.” He spoke softly, making sure that only his two friends could
hear him. “That's why I haven't said anything to anyone besides you two.” The
captain took a short breath. “Last night, Hinata called me. I asked him if he
was okay, and told him that if he needed help from us all he had to do was ask.
Before Hinata could answer though, his dad started screaming for him to go to
sleep. His dad's voice sounded slurred.” Daichi stayed silent.
“Daichi..” Sugawara frowned and lightly patted the side of his companion’s
shoulder. “That-”
“I know.” Daichi said, shutting his eyes tightly. “I know that that doesn't
mean anything. But thinking that his voice was slurred from exhaustion...it
didn't feel right. It still doesn't. I feel like there's something going on,
but I don't know what it is.”
Asahi watched as Daichi looked so lost. Usually the captain was always so sure
of himself, of everything. That's the reason why the second and first years
confided in Daichi so much. But now Daichi was so obviously stressed out.
“We’ll watch more carefully.” Asahi spoke. Sugawara and Daichi turned toward
their gentle hearted ace. “We’ll help him inside and outside of practice.
Whatever he needs.”
Daichi released a breathless chuckle. “You actually sound like our ace.” Asahi
jutted his bottom lip out a bit and mockingly glared at the captain. Sugawara
couldn't help but to laugh at the light hearted exchange between his two
closest friends.
                                     -----
Hinata had left practice early again, stating the very vague excuse that he had
errands to run. With that, the small ginger had quickly escaped his peer’s
watchful eyes. During that short second of Hinata’s retreating figure, the
three third years had exchanged a worried glance. But none of them made any
moves to stop their teammate. Afterall, they still had practice to continue
with.
During one of the team’s short water breaks, Kiyoko walked up to Takeda.
“Takeda-sensei.” She politely called the club advisor’s name. The dark haired
teacher looked toward the third year manager.
He smiled at her. “Is there something you need, Shimizu-san?” Takeda asked the
student.
“Actually, I was wondering if I could leave early as well.” Kiyoko spoke in her
natural soft tone. Before Takeda could question why, Kiyoko continued. “My mom
had a small accident, and had to go to the emergency room.” She explained.
Takeda blinked, then spoke quickly. “Of course! You would want to make sure
that she’s okay!” He rushed out, with wide and flustered eyes. The young
teacher dismissed the team’s manager, allowing her to leave practice an hour
early. Kiyoko bowed her head, and exited the gym.
Kiyoko didn’t bother in changing her clothes either. She simply gathering her
belongings from the girl’s locker room and rushed to the bus stop. It didn’t
take long for the bus to arrive either. Luck seemed to be on Kiyoko’s side. As
she waited upon the moving vehicle, her dark grey eyes worriedly glanced in
between the scenery outside and the phone clutched in her hands. Though Kiyoko
was beyond worried for her mother’s accident, her expression stayed calm.
Soon, the bus had stopped and Kiyoko got off. The third year girl rushed into
the hospital, where she was quickly led to her mother’s waiting room. “Mom.”
She called silently, opening the door to room 509, on the fifth floor of the
hospital. There in a small bed, next to the window was Kiyoko’s mom, sleeping
soundly. In the chair beside her was her dad.
“Kiyoko.” Kiyoko’s father stood up, greeting his only child.
“Is mom okay?” She asked, glancing over to her mom’s sleeping figure. “What
happened?”
“It was just a small accident, for the most part.” The older man replied. “You
mother accidentally cut herself while making dinner. It was a deep cut, enough
that she had to get stitches. She lost quite a bit of blood. But once your
mother wakes up, she’ll be able to leave.”
Kiyoko sighed in relief. Her mother would be okay. “Thank goodness.” Kiyoko and
her father waited until the woman woke up, which didn’t take long. Luck really
was on Kiyoko’s side today. The doctor had come back into the room after her
mom had awaken, meaning to discuss with her and her husband. Kiyoko had
dismissed herself, telling both of her parents that she’d wait in the lobby.
And that’s what she did. Kiyoko waited patiently by the door, keeping an eye
out for her parents in the small crowd that gathered in the hospital lobby.
A flash of orange caught Kiyoko’s eye. Drawn in by the bright, stand-out color,
Kiyoko automatically turned towards the tuft of ginger hair--which happened to
be coming right towards her. Kiyoko froze for a mere second. “Hinata?” The
words were quietly uttered. The said boy jumped, his head snapped up so fast
that Kiyoko wondered if it hurt. She noticed the small child in her
underclassman’s arms, whom had the same brightly colored hair as the
aforementioned boy.
“Sh-Shimizu-san!!” Hinata was clearly taken by surprise. His--now--dull golden
eyes widen in bewilderment, as he clutched the small, sleeping, ginger haired
girl closer to his chest. The first year continued to splutter, struggling to
find the right words to say. “What’re you doing here?” He finally managed to
spit out.
“My mom accidentally cut herself, and had to go to the ER.” Kiyoko explained
briefly. She silently debated whether or not to ask why Hinata was at the
hospital. But the question came out anyways, for the sake of conversation, that
is. “What about you?”

 Hinata seemed to flounder for a minute or two; seemingly trying to come up
with an excuse to tell Kiyoko. The third year manager waited patiently. “I-I…”
Hinata furrowed his eyebrows, looking everywhere but at the pretty manager in
front of him. He went silent. And Kiyoko continued to wait. “Y-you...you can’t
tell the others.” The ginger winced at the sound of his own voice. The request-
-more like demand--made Kiyoko confused, and even more worried.

 “Of course.” She had promised. But Kiyoko had also promised herself something.
‘I’ll only tell the others if it’s for your own well-being.’
“M..” Hinata started, staring at the tiled floors below him. He paused
unsurely. Then Hinata took a deep breath to calm himself. “M-my mom’s in the
hospital here. She...she’s really sick..a-and..” Kiyoko didn’t say anything.
Instead she waited for Hinata to recollect his thoughts. “And...I’m really not
sure...if she’ll..” Hinata trailed off, but Kiyoko understood.
“You’re not sure if she’ll make it.” Kiyoko whispered, quietly watching at the
ginger haired by flinched. It probably sounded weird, now that it was said out
loud. Even moreso, since someone else had said it. Slowly, Hinata nodded his
head. He was careful not to stir the sleeping child in his arms. Kiyoko
frowned, wondering if this was why Hinata started acting the way he did. But
the look in his eyes--she noticed--held something else other than emotional
pain. Kiyoko couldn’t put her finger on it. She took in how uncomfortable
Hinata looked, shifting his weight from one foot to another. Kiyoko opted to
change the subject instead. “She’s your sister right? What’s her name?” The
older girl motioned to the tiny ginger that had her nose buried in the crook of
Hinata’s neck.
Kiyoko felt a little relieved at the small, genuine smile that formed across
Hinata’s lips. “Yeah. Her name’s Natsu.” He adjusted his hold on the tiny girl,
who wrapped her arms tighter around her brother’s neck. Kiyoko nearly cooed at
the sight.
“She’s cute. Looks just like you.” Kiyoko softly laughed, while Hinata’s face
burned a bright red. It was the most emotion she’s seen from the ginger haired
boy in what felt like a long time. She was really glad. Hinata stuttered out a
quiet thanks.
“Kiyoko?” Hinata visibly jumped again. The said girl looked away from her
junior, and spotted her parents coming toward her and the ginger. Kiyoko’s mom
was in a wheelchair, while her dad pushed the woman. “This a friend of yours?”
Her mother smiled at Hinata, who tried to smile back. Though, Kiyoko noticed
how hard it was for him.
“Yes. This is Hinata. He’s on the volleyball team.” Kiyoko motioned to her
junior.
Hinata introduced himself, bowing his head since Natsu was in his arms. “Hinata
Shouyou. I’m a first year and apart of the volleyball team that Shimizu-san
manages. This is my sister, Natsu.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Hinata-kun.” Kiyoko’s mother smiled widely, though
fatigued from that day’s earlier events. Hinata nodded his head with the
smallest of smiles.
“Are you here visiting someone, Hinata-kun?” Her father asked.
“Dad.” Kiyoko warned with a small frown.
The man smiled in apology. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”
Hinata shook his head. “It’s okay.”
“Hinata-kun, would you like a ride home? It’s getting late after all.” Kiyoko’s
mother offered.
Kiyoko’s frown deeped, seeing the momentary panic that flashed through Hinata’s
eyes. She wondered why. Instantly, Hinata politely rejected. But seeing as how
it was her mother, Kiyoko knew that she would insist. And insist she did,
saying that it was dangerous for Hinata to go home late, much less with his
younger sister. Reluctantly, Hinata had agreed. “Sorry for my mother’s
persistence, Hinata.” Kiyoko apologized as the four made their way to Kiyoko’s
father’s car.
“I-it’s fine.” Hinata tried to smile, but it was half-hearted. The ginger
looked tired. He looked worried, but Kiyoko wasn’t sure if she should ask.
Especially since her parents were around. She didn’t want to disrespect
Hinata’s privacy either. But she was worried for him, just like the rest of the
team.
                                     -----
The ride to Hinata’s house was silent. Natsu was sleeping still, her head lying
upon her older brother’s lap. Kiyoko’s dad drove, focused on the road ahead and
the directions that Hinata gave him every now and then. Kiyoko’s mom had
soundlessly fallen asleep, tired from being in the hospital for more than a few
hours. Kiyoko and Hinata didn’t bother in making any conversation either.
Kiyoko was still wondering why her junior seemed so uneasy about her family
dropping him--and Natsu--off at home. She glanced at the first year. Hinata was
to her right, seemingly lost in thought. But by the looks of it, those thoughts
worried Hinata because he eyes were narrowed and eyebrows were furrowed. Even
the ways he nervously chewed on his bottom lip. Kiyoko was worried too.
“This is it.” Hinata announced into the silent car. Kiyoko’s dad pulled to a
stop. “Thank you for the ride home.” The ginger said quietly, opening the car’s
back door. He climbed out, before lifting Natsu out and resting her on his hip.
“Thank you again, and I hope Shimizu-san feels better soon.” Hinata waited,
thinking that Kiyoko’s dad would drive off.
“Well, you go inside first Hinata-kun.” Kiyoko’s dad insisted. “I want to make
sure to fully see you home, or my wife will scold me for it later.” He laughed
lightly.
Kiyoko noticed how Hinata bit his lip again. The nervous panic resurfaced in
his gold eyes. Slowly, the first year nodded his head. He bowed ever so
slightly, and bid his farewells. Hinata turned and walked up to his house,
pulling out his key with one hand while the other supported his sleeping little
sister. The door opened and Kiyoko’s dad began to pull away.
As he did, Kiyoko kept her eyes trained on the ginger. A taller male stepped
into the doorway. He, too, had orange hair. And briefly Kiyoko understood where
Hinata got his unnaturally bright colored hair. But Kiyoko didn’t dwell on that
for long. As her car slowly pulled further away, she was barely able to notice
the glass beer bottle in the taller, ginger male’s right hand. Then, the Hinata
residence disappeared from her view.
Now, Kiyoko had her suspicions too.
***** When The Skies Turned Grey *****
Chapter Notes
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
     Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression,
     Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harrasment
     (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to
     be added)
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
“Who the hell was that?” The acidic breath that hit Hinata’s cheeks smelled
vile. Hinata restrained himself from gagging, clutching Natsu closer into his
chest. The teen boy took a second too long to answer the man that towered above
him. And Hinata subconsciously flinched away from the large hand that roughly
gripped at his upper arm. “Answer me, damn it!”
“It was a friend!” Hinata squeaked out. The answer didn’t please Hinata’s
father, however. The small ginger was slammed into the now closed front door.
Hinata groaned, keeping his hold on Natsu tight. The girl whimpered, slowly
peeking through tired eyelids. Hinata moved ever so slightly in order to shield
his precious younger sister. “H-her parents offered me a ride home after
visiting m-mom.” Hinata was hesitant to even mention his mother at this point.
Usually, whenever he mentioned his sickly mother, Hinata’s dad would go on a
rampage.
“You fucking idiot.” The man sneered, leaning closer to Hinata’s face. His
breath was putrid, plagued with the strong smell of alcohol and cigarettes.
“You’re not trying to get me arrested, are you?” His voice deepened an octave,
and the grip he held on Hinata’s forearm had tightened.
Hinata whimpered. “N-no.” Natsu cried silently into the crook of her brother’s
neck, too scared to even say anything. “I-I...Th-they insisted..I
couldn’t...refuse.” Hinata stumbled through the words. His dad’s hand raised,
and Hinata turned his body to shield Natsu away from the hit. Hinata’s smaller
frame jerked when the man’s hand came in contact with his temple. Hinata
grunted, and Natsu cried louder.
The man grabbed Hinata’s ginger hair--that was similar to his own--and threw
his eldest child to the floor. “And what the fuck did I say about visiting that
woman!?” A kick landed at Hinata’s lower back. Hinata withheld his cries, and
clutched Natsu tighter. “The bitch is going to fucking die anyways!”
Hinata felt angered by that, but before he could argue, the kicks came faster.
Usually Hinata’s dad was careful with where he hit Hinata, but this time was
different. The kicks came at random--at Hinata’s face, his stomach, arms, legs,
back. They came from everywhere. Hinata’s dad was pissed. His dad was more
drunk than he usually was.
“Fucking useless.” Insults were muttered and Hinata cried, throwing his body
over Natsu. Natsu screamed louder. “Better shut that fucking kid up, or I
will.” The man threatened, stomping on top of Hinata’s hand. With the final
blow, the adult man staggered into the kitchen.
“Nii-chan.” Natsu crawled out from the protection of her brother’s arm,
kneeling by his side. She gently shook her brother’s shoulder, only receiving a
low groan. His eyelids fluttered, halfway between consciousness.
“-atsu.” The voice that left Hinata’s lips were slurred, quiet. “-re ‘ou ‘kay?”
He reached up, placing his hand on the crying child’s cheek. She nodded and
leaned into her older brother’s touch. “Sh.” Hinata hummed as Natsu placed her
forehead against his own.
“Nii-chan, you’re hurt.” She cried. Hinata tried to smile and focus on Natsu’s
tear stained face.
“Go ‘pstairs. Lock th’ do’r.” Hinata instructed. Natsu questioned if he would
be okay, and Hinata hummed again. “Qu’et.” He stated, motioning for his sister
to go. Natsu silenced her sobs, and scurried up the steps. Hinata faintly heard
a door upstairs open and close.
Hinata was relieved at that.
But he groaned in pain once more. The bruises were forming quickly, and Hinata
was sure that his dad had broken his hand. His head throbbed and he saw black
spots littering his vision. Hinata’s gold eyes glossed over with unshed tears,
as the world went blurry.
                                     -----
Hinata was upstairs in his room, coloring with his little sister. Natsu was
grinning widely at the pink streaks that crossed over her white paper. Hinata
felt pride swell at the look on her innocent face. “What’re you drawing,
Natsu?” He asked, stopping his horrible attempts at drawing a volleyball.
“I’m drawing a picture of me, you, and mom.” Natsu glanced up at her brother,
before quickly covering the paper with her small arms. “Don’t look! It’s not
done yet!” She screeched, and Hinata laughed.
“Sorry. Sorry.” Hinata turned back to his drawing. This time, he really
concentrated on the weird design that volleyball’s had.
He turned to look at Natsu when she giggled. “You suck at drawing, nii-chan.”
Hinata blushed at the comment.
“I-I know that!” He claimed, but his smile returned quickly. “Did you finish
with your picture?”
Natsu hummed happily as she nodded her head. Her short ginger pigtails bounced
along with the motion. “Look!” She showed a very colorful picture of pinks and
blues and greens, and orange. On the page were three stick figures, two were
clearly girls because of the blue and pink dresses they wore. The other was a
male in a bright green volleyball uniform. Hinata grinned at the sight.
“I love it! You get better at drawing everyday Natsu!” Hinata exclaimed.
Natsu’s grin widened, before she got up from sitting on the floor. She made her
way over to Hinata’s desk and took the tape. The small girl ripped off a piece
that was a bit too long, and messily taped her drawing to Hinata’s wall, just
besides his desk. That drawing joined the many others that Natsu had drawn for
her brother.
“Perfect!” Natsu laughed at her collage. Hinata nodded his head in agreement.
He was happy then.
Suddenly a loud crash vibrated through the house. It was the sound of metal and
glass crashing from the kitchen downstairs. The two siblings jerked. Hinata was
up in less than a second, rushing to where the crash sounded from. He assumed
that Natsu was right behind him.
Hinata froze.
His mom was on the floor, surrounded by shattered glass, pots, and food. Red
liquid seeped from the back of her head, as her body spasmed. Her face was pale
and her mouth was parted open his a silent cry. “Natsu stay back!” Hinata
yelled once he got control of his body again. He shot forward, lightly taking
his mom’s arms, as turning her on her side. His gold eyes watched the clock
that hung on the wall in the hallway.
As the seconds ticked away, Hinata felt panic swell inside the pit of his
stomach. His throat was dry.
It passed the  four minute mark, rapidly counting toward five. His mom’s
seizure wasn’t stopping.  Hinata carefully set his mother’s frame down, and ran
to the phone. Natsu was in the hallway, crying. “Nii-chan! Nii-chan! What’s
wrong with mommy! Why can’t I see her!? Nii-chan!” Natsu’s scream were loud,
but at the same time, Hinata could barely hear her over the sound of his
beating heart.
He faintly heard the phone ring, and a woman speaking to him. “A-ambulance! M-
my mom’s having a seizure. It’s b-been over five minutes.” Hinata spoke in a
rush. He didn’t hear what the woman on the other side said next, but he kept
his eyes trained on his mom’s body. The jerks slowed, and he body was deathly
still. “Sh-she stopped! Hinata looked at the clock. S-seven minutes.”
“Okay, the ambulances are on the way now.” The woman said calmly. “I need you
to stay on the phone with me until they get there.” Hinata replied with a quiet
‘okay.’ “What’s your name?”
“Hinata Shouyou.”
“Who’s home with you?”
“My little sister, Natsu.”
“How old are you?”
“Sixteen.”
“And your sister?”
“Five.”
“Okay, the ambulance should be there soon. I need you to open the door, and
make sure the could see you.” The woman instructed. Hinata passed the phone to
Natsu, who began to question the woman on the other end, instead of himself.
Hinata glanced at his mom, before rushing to the front door. He swung it open,
and he heard the ambulances getting closer. Until they stopped in front of
Hinata’s home.
The next few hours were a blur to Hinata.
There was an ambulance that had loaded his unconscious mother into the back and
drove off. There was police that escorted Hinata and Natsu to the hospital.
There were questions from people that Hinata couldn’t remember. And there was a
lot of waiting.
“Shouyou!” Hinata jumped at the sound of a male voice calling from within a
close proximity. Hinata blinked, focusing on the person that had their face
close to his own. There, in front of him, was Hinata’s dad. The man had bright
ginger hair and shining blue eyes. His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth
opened. “Shouyou, what happened?”
“Dad..?”
“Shouyou, tell me what happened. Is your mother okay?” The man asked. Hinata
shrugged. When was the last time he’s seen his dad? Not since the divorce
almost right after Natsu was born, five years ago. The man had up and
disappeared, without telling him or his mom. They had been devastated when he
said that he wanted to divorce.
                                     -----
A tumor.
She had a brain tumor.
Hinata’s world seemed to stop, when the doctor had explained everything to him
and his dad. Natsu was too young, so one of the nurses watched her whilst
Hinata spoke with the doctor. Honestly, Hinata didn’t even know what half of
the things the doctor said were. All of the medical terms had flown right over
his head. But he did understand how serious a brain tumor was. Hinata was told
that the doctor was start treatments right away, but before any more
information could be said, one of the nurses had asked Hinata to leave.
Apparently, Hinata was not allowed to hear what was going to be said next. And
with that, the ginger was brought back to his wailing younger sister. Hinata
took the girl into his arms, humming into her ear, until eventually she fell
asleep.
                                     -----
A few days had passed since the Hinata family discovered the tumor within their
mother’s/wife’s head.
With nowhere else to go, Hinata and Natsu were forced to live with their dad.
His house was closer to both Natsu’s daycare and Karasuno, so the change was
easy to adjust to. At first, Hinata’s dad seemed descent. He didn’t seem as
troubled as he did when he first left Hinata, Natsu, and his wife. Hinata was
glad about that.
But when Hinata had come home from school, he opened the door to his new living
quarters. Only, the air felt weird. It was easy to catch for someone that lived
mostly upon instinct, like Hinata. The ginger flinched, and wanted to jump
back. He wanted to leave, to flee. To get out before something really bad
happened.
What had stopped him, was the shrill crying of his younger sister. Before he
could even register what was happening, Hinata had bolted into the house and
into the direction in which he had heard Natsu’s crying. The teen stopped in
the living room. Standing across the room was Hinata’s dad, towering over a
screeching Natsu. Next to Natsu, was a knocked over light pole and broken
glass. Hinata was quick to see the small spots of blood on his sister’s hands
and knees.
He rushed over to the smaller ginger girl. “Natsu.” He cradled her in her arms.
“Where does it hurt?” But the words wouldn’t come out. Instead the young child
cried into Hinata’s chest.
“What the fuck did I say about playing ball in the house!?” Hinata’s dad
growled lowly. Natsu didn’t answer him, and cried louder. “Answer me you little
tramp!” The man raised his hand to hit Natsu, but since she was held tightly in
Hinata’s arms, the palm came in contact with the right side of Hinata’s cheek
instead.
“It was an accident!” Hinata screamed back, after getting over the initial
shock of being hit. “Natsu didn’t mean to do it! And you don’t have to hit
her!” The teen boy stood, glaring at the figure in front of him. His gold eyes
observed his dad’s appearance. Everything about the man seemed out of place.
His cloths and hair were disheveled. But Hinata noticed the familiar brown,
glass bottle that was loosely gripped in between the man’s thick fingers.
The man snarled, reaching out and pushing Hinata back onto the floor. “Don’t
fucking talk back to me.” His blue eyes were narrowed dangerously. Hinata
recognized the wild look in his father’s eyes. Hinata was familiar with it,
especially in volleyball, but it was never to this extent. The ginger haired
teen, then, knew that something bad was coming.
“Natsu, go to the room and lock to door!” Hinata yelled, pushing the girl
toward the stairs. The girl skittered away. Hinata’s dad tried to go after her,
but Hinata wouldn’t let the man. So the first year male latched onto the burly
man’s waist to hold him back. It wasn’t much time, but it was enough and Hinata
heard the faint sound of a door being slammed shut and hopefully locked.
Relief flooded through Hinata’s chest. That was until a hard hit crashed into
his right temple. His dad had elbowed him in the head. Hard. Hinata collapsed
to the floor, rolling to his side in attempts to get up. The ginger grunted
when a boot was kicked into his stomach. “If you want to get punished in place
of that little brat,” Another kick. “Then be my guest.” The man grunted with
every kick that he brought down into Hinata’s chest and stomach. There was a
cracking sound that echoed in Hinata’s ears, and he was sure that he broke some
ribs.
“Stop!” Hinata couldn’t help but to plead pathetically. But the man never
complied. Instead the kicks came harder. The man finally stopped when Hinata
coughed up blood.
He clicked his tongue in disgust. “Clean this fucking shit up.” He ordered the
injured boy, motioning to the broken lamp and the blood that Hinata was
currently spitting out. “I better not see any stains.” With that, he sauntered
into the kitchen.
Hinata trembled, moving slowly to clean everything up.
                                     -----
That night, Hinata didn’t sleep.
Natsu couldn’t sleep either, but she was quickly soothed by Hinata saying,
“I’ll stay up and protect you.” That night, was the first night that Natsu
started sleeping with her older brother.
Hinata stayed locked in his room, sitting silently at his desk. Natsu took up
his bed, tucked underneath the warmth of the thick blankets. The ginger haired
boy sighed, looking at the small mirror that sat in the middle of his
practically empty desktop. The boy’s temple was bruised a dark purple and his
cheek burned a bright red. Hinata was too scared to see the bruises that
littered his chest and stomach. He knew they were bad though, really bad. Just
breathing hurt.
Hinata was scared. Never in his life, would he have thought that his dad
would’ve laid hands on him. Even worse, attempt to lay hands on Natsu. She was
a little girl! The thought of his dad trying to hurt Natsu, struck a thought
within Hinata’s head. ‘Has dad ever hurt mom?’ The thought made him shiver.
What if he did? Hinata would’ve been to young to understand if his monstrosity
of a dad had ever harmed his mother before their divorce.
Hinata felt sick.
He couldn’t stop the putrid liquid from rising in his throat. Hinata bent over
the small trash can that was besides his desk. And suddenly, Hinata lost all
contents of his lunch from that day. Once he was finished throwing up his lunch
and spots of red blood, Hinata rested his head against the cool wooden desk.
Though he felt physically drained, Hinata just couldn’t bring himself to
completely lose consciousness.
                                     -----
Hinata was jerked awake by another hard kick. He grunted, as the pain from the
day before had returned. His golden brown eyes stared up at the man towering
over him. “Get the fuck up. You’re not getting a day off from school. Hide
those damn bruises, and don’t fuck this up.” The man grunted. He sounded more
sombre than the previous day, much to Hinata’s relief. It was only late evening
and nights that Hinata had to worry about. That’s when he dad got drunk, or did
drugs.
Hinata struggled to even sit up. He heard his dad click his tongue, and he
heard the heavy footsteps fade away. The young ginger sighed, and worked slowly
to get up. It was still dark outside, early in the morning. Fortunately without
crashing  into the floor again, Hinata successfully made his way up the stairs
and into the bathroom. The ginger cringed as the bright white lights above him
flicker on. He did everything he could to avoid looking at himself in the
mirror. Hinata gasped at the sight of his hand, though. His left hand was a
dark purple, and swollen beyond anything recognizable. The bruises were so
obviously in the shape of a large boot. Momentary panic rushed through Hinata’s
chest. How was he going to hide this from his teammates. The ginger had to
force his attention away from that. He’d figure that out later.
Slowly--and with one hand--Hinata stripped himself from yesterday’s clothing.
The rough fabric scrubbed against his new bruises and cuts. Once he was
completely without clothes, he took a warm, wet towel and wiped his body of any
dried blood.  Ever so carefully, Hinata did the same for his hand. Tears pooled
in the corners of honey brown eyes, crinkling in pain and disgust. After
cleaning the cuts, Hinata began bandaging himself. It was always a hard process
because he could never wrap his torso thoroughly by himself. Now it was even
harder due to the fact that he had one hand. The wraps became sloppy, but at
this point, Hinata didn’t even care.
After securing the bandages, Hinata wrapped the softest towel that he could
find around his body. He took his discarded clothes and made his way to his
room. “Natsu.” Hinata croaked softly. He called his sister’s name again and
again, until he heard noise from the other side. There was a small clicking
noise and Hinata’s bedroom door was pulled open. The small ginger haired girl
appeared, poking her head out.
Natsu gasped, “Nii-chan!”
“Shh.” Hinata hushed the girl and slid into the safety of his room. Natsu shut
the door behind them and locked it once again. She couldn’t help the small
tears that trickled down her cheeks. Hinata turned, and gave his sister the
most reassuring smile that he could. “I’m fine Natsu.” He said, wiping the
dampened spot underneath her eyes. “As long as you’re not hurt, I’m fine.”
Hinata placed a tender kiss to the crown of Natsu’s head, just like the their
mother would do to them when they were younger. Natsu relished in that moment,
closing her eyes and leaning into her brother’s chest. “Alright, let me get
ready. Then we’ll go to your room.”  Natsu nodded her head and offered a broken
grin. Hinata returned the gesture.
Hinata moved around his room at an achingly slow pace. First he pulled out a
pair of black sweats that he’d be able to practice in. He pulled his Karasuno
Volleyball Club shirt of its hanger in his closet, and slipped in on. Hinata,
next, gathered his school uniform and his school bag. After a final check that
he had everything, Natsu slipped her hand into his. Together, they went out of
the room and into the room that was directly across from Hinata’s. The door
opened and Natsu went inside. The door shut and Hinata smiled at the quick
movement he heard muffled from the other side of the door. It took Natsu only a
few minutes to get ready and get her own things. Automatically, her hand slid
into her brother’s again.
Physical contact from Hinata was the only way to soothe her nowadays.
The two siblings went down the stairs, and made their way to the front door.
Natsu pulled her shoes on, as did Hinata. Just as the two were about to leave,
there was a sound behind them. Hinata turned, instinctively pulling Natsu
behind him. The sibling’s dad stopped in the hallway, staring--more like
glaring--at his two offsprings. “The fuck you two staring at?” He snarled, and
moved into the kitchen. Hinata assumed that his father was getting more beer.
The older ginger shook head, not wanting to think about what awaited them later
on that day. Hinata was quick to flee, tugging his little sister behind him. In
utter silence, Hinata walked Natsu to her daycare center. He bid her farewell,
and she ran off to her friends. Hinata trekked in the direction of Karasuno.
The thoughts from earlier resurfaced. Hinata had no idea how he was going to
hide these new, more severe injuries. His dad wasn’t exactly discreet this
time.
As soon as Hinata reached Karasuno--the campus was still empty--the ginger made
his way to the bathroom. He stopped in front of the mirror, hesitating to look
up. The ginger haired teen took a deep breath and held it. Hinata turned his
chin up, eyes landing on the reflection in the mirror.
Then and there, Hinata almost threw up.
The sight in front of him was anything, but pleasing. Hinata’s hair was
tangled, matted with a couple dark red spots. He assumed that it was from the
blood that he had fallen asleep in. His face and arms were in a similar state.
Hinata cursed. He ran his right hand under warm water, and raked his fingers
through his hair. The red stains came out easier this way. When there were no
more traces of dried blood, Hinata used the water to tame his hair into
something more presentable. The ginger adjusted his clothing, making it look
neater and so none of his recent injuries shown through. The next thing Hinata
did was set his school bag atop the small sink. He reached into the yellow bag,
pulling out a small stick of concealer. Hinata was alway reluctant to use the
girly cosmetic, but at times like these--when his dad was far past drunk to
carefully aim his hits upon Hinata’s body--the makeup came in handy. Hinata
always made sure to restock this simple item and keep it on hand.
Hinata applied the concealer to the black and purple spots that littered his
face. His thin, nimble fingers smudged the makeup into his skin. He desperately
tried to make it so that the cakey aspect of cosmetics was not visible. Hinata
didn’t know how he’d take it if people found out that he--reluctantly--wore
makeup and started to bully him. Frankly, the first year didn’t want to find
out. So Hinata continued to blend the pale color into his similarly colored
skin. Once the ginger was satisfied with his work, Hinata packed up his things
and exited the boys bathroom.
Hinata wasn’t paying attention to where he was going, and harshly bumped into
someone’s chest. A grunt escaped from the first year’s lips, as he reached up
to rub his nose. The person clicked their tongue, “Watch where you’re going,
Shrimp.” Hinata tensed, slowly looking up to meet the honey brown eyes of the
blonde first year.
“Sorry.” Hinata squeaked, stepping away so that he was a good foot and a half
away from his teammate.
Tsukishima stared at the squirming ginger in front of him. It looked like the
boy wanted to run, but he couldn’t under Tsukishima’s piercing eyes. The taller
first year took this opportunity to scan over Hinata’s features. The ginger’s
uniform, though barely noticeable, was out of order and wrinkled in odd places.
Tsukishima looked to observe Hinata’s face. There was something off about him,
but Tsukishima couldn’t exactly pinpoint what. Hinata fidgeted, moving to hide
his left hand behind him. This didn’t go unnoticed by the blonde. “What’re you
hiding your left hand for?” Something in Tsukishima’s chest said that he wasn’t
going to like what was coming next.
“N-nothing.” Hinata flinched at the stutter that slipped. “It’s none of your
business anyways.” He murmured, trying to rush around Tsukishima. And the
latter let the ginger, before he grabbed Hinata’s left elbow and pulling the
teen back. For a minute, Hinata struggled against him. But the jerky tugs
didn’t stop the tall first year from taking Hinata’s left hand and raising it
so that he could observe closely.

 And Tsukishima was not stupid. Not by any means. So no matter what excuse
Hinata tried to sputter, the blonde wouldn’t fall for it. The large bruise that
predominantly took up the majority of Hinata’s left hand was obviously in the
shape of a boot print. Hinata’s knuckles were swollen too. Tsukishima thought
that the hand might be broken. “What the hell happened..?” Tsukishima refused
to let Hinata escape this, so he firmly held the smaller first year in place.
The blonde watched as panic flooded Hinata’s golden brown eyes, and as the
ginger desperately tried to think of a logical excuse. “Don’t lie.” Tsukishima
warned. “Who did this?”
Hinata furrowed his eyebrows. ‘Why does this jerk care? He’s always making fun
of me anyway.’ “It was an accident.” He answered vaguely, looking down at the
ground.
“Like hell it was.” Tsukishima scoffed. “There’s no way. Logically speaking, if
someone were to accidentally step on your hand, it wouldn’t be hard enough to
break it.” Hinata frowned, opening his mouth to argue. Tsukishima didn’t allow
him to. Instead the blonde took Hinata toward the school building.
Hinata tried to pull away again. “H-hey. What about practice?”
“This is more important, idiot.” The blonde didn’t even turn back to look at
Hinata. The ginger stayed quiet, sluggishly following behind his teammate. The
two first years entered an empty infirmary. Hinata was silently relieved about
that, and Tsukishima noticed how the tension in the ginger’s shoulders faded.
“Sit.” He ordered, nudging Hinata toward the closest bed.
Hinata listened, not thinking that it was worth it to argue. “Why are you
helping me?” Hinata asked as the taller middle blocker rummaged through the
nurses drawers and cabinets for rubbing alcohol and bandages. Tsukishima
paused, looking at the used-to-be-sunchild from the corner of his eyes.
“Because.” Tsukishima replied simply, with a shrug of his shoulders. “Now, tell
me what happened.” The blonde demanded, sitting on a stool in front of Hinata.
He took the ginger’s left hand, and began to clean the small cuts that littered
the swollen hand.
Hinata was hesitant. Tsukishima lightly pinched Hinata’s forearm, snapping the
latter back to reality. The ginger haired teen flinched at the look that
Tsukishima was giving him. The blonde wouldn’t take any excuses, Hinata knew.
But the ginger didn’t know what to say. “Y-you can’t tell anyone.” Hinata
whispered so quietly that Tsukishima had to lean forward to hear him.
“Fine.” Tsukishima agreed. Hinata sighed, going on to explain what happened the
previous night. Tsukishima knew that Hinata was leaving details out, but didn’t
comment on it. That wasn’t important, yet. Hinata finished his tale, pulling
away his now bandaged hand back onto his lap. Tsukishima was quiet, eerily
quiet. It put Hinata on edge.
“Tsu-Tsukishima?” Hinata muttered, eyeing the blonde’s clenching and
unclenching fists. Tsukishima bit his lip, drawing blood. “Hey, y-you’re
freaking me out.”
Then Tsukishima took a deep breath, relaxing his previous thoughts of hatred.
“Let me see your other injuries.”
That day, neither Hinata nor Tsukishima had attended morning practice. That
time was taken for Tsukishima to clean and rebandage Hinata’s back and chest.
                                     -----
During lunch, Daichi was at his desk with Sugawara and Asahi.
“Find anything else out?” Sugawara whispered, bowing his head to stare at the
desk he sat at. Daichi sighed, shaking his head and pressing his fingers to his
temples.
“No, I haven’t seen Hinata since yesterday at practice.” Daichi replied.
“Yesterday, I confronted Kageyama too. Apparently, Hinata hasn’t said anything
to him. I know something’s wrong, but I can’t figure out what..”
“Don’t worry Daichi--” Sugawara was cut off by one of Daichi’s classmates.
“Sawamura, there’s a first year here to see you.”
The three third years turned toward the classroom door. Standing there, as
stoic as ever, was the volleyball team’s tallest member, Tsukishima. Daichi
stood up, but Tsukishima motioned for Asahi and Sugawara to come too. The three
seniors walked out, and down the hall with Tsukishima leading them. The blonde
led them into a hallway that was currently void of any students or faculty
members. “Tsukishima? What’s going on?” Sugawara questioned, with worriedly
narrowed brown eyes.
The three upperclassmen were surprised by the distraught expression that slowly
creased Tsukishima’s eyes and lips. Patiently Daichi, Asahi, and Sugawara
waited for their junior to speak. “It’s about Hinata. Tsukishima spoke
carefully.
“Is something wrong with him?” Asahi questioned, letting his own anxiety settle
in his chest. The picture of Hinata’s panic attack earlier that week resurfaced
in the ace’s mind.
Tsukishima faltered. The hesitation was noticed by the older by males. “He..”
The blonde first year paused, taking a breath. “He’s being abused...by his
dad.”
Daichi’s breath was caught in his throat. “Y-you know?”
Tsukishima paused, raising an eyebrow. “You know?” The blonde retorted. The
three third years glanced worriedly at one another.
“What makes you think that Tsukishima?” Sugawara asked, barely above a whisper.
The blonde first year took half a second before responding.
“This morning.” Tsukishima frowned. “I helped him bandage some new injuries.”
The tall first year paused, seeing Sugawara tense. The ashen haired third year
was still haunted by the picture of Hinata’s wounded torso from a few days
prior. “They’re worse. Newer. His left hand is...fractured at the least. Hinata
told me that he was out past curfew and his dad wasn’t happy. The bruise on his
left hand is in the shape of a boot. I told him that I wouldn’t say anything,
so you can’t tell him that I told you.”
Daichi was speechless. He’d been right. Hinata was being abused. His precious
junior was hurting. “O-okay. Thanks for telling us, Tsukishima.”
“But.” The three upperclassman stopped turning away, and waited for their
tallest middle blocker to continue speaking. “I think that there is something
else wrong. I tried asking, but Hinata didn’t say anything else.”
“I think I might know.” The four high school students jumped at the female
voice that came from behind them all. They all turned. Kiyoko was standing
there, her arms crossed underneath her breasts.
Asahi spoke, “You know something Shimizu?”
The third year girl nodded. “Yesterday, I left early because of a small
accident my mom was is. I went to the hospital in Sendai. I saw Hinata and his
little sister there. They were leaving at the same time as my family.”
“What was Hinata doing at the hospital in Sendai?” Sugawara questioned.
“He said that his mom is very sick. I think it’s a terminal illness of some
sort.” Kiyoko frowned, turning her grey eyes down to the floor. “Hinata said
that she might not make it.”
Silence wafted through the air, becoming thick with tension. “Hinata..”
Sugawara hiccuped, covering his lips with his right hand.
Daichi sighed, looking between his teammates. “Hinata’s going through a rough
time right now.” The brunette started. “We need to look out for him. Don’t let
anyone else know about this, until we get some legitimate proof.” The teens
present all nodded in agreement. “We’ll revisit this when the time is right.”
“Let’s hope Hinata will let us help him this time.” Asahi frowned.
“Tsukishima.” The blonde looked at the vice captain. “Right now, you’re the
only one Hinata probably trusts. Keep an eye on him.”
Tsukishima stared at his upperclassmen. “Right. If you’ll excuse me, then. I’ll
be leaving first.” The first turned and walked back to the first years
classrooms.
“I should let you know.” Kiyoko turned toward the other third years. “I think
Hinata’s dad, at the least, is an alcoholic. My parents dropped Hinata and his
sister off at home last night. When Hinata went inside, I saw his dad carrying
a beer bottle.”
“Shit.” Daichi cursed, eyeing a worried Sugawara and Asahi. “Thanks for letting
us know, Shimizu.” The girl nodded her head, and gave the smallest, most
reassuring smile. Then, the third year manager walked off.
***** Falling Apart *****
Chapter Notes
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
     Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression,
     Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harrasment
     (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to
     be added)
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
     A/n: WARNING :: There is MILD RAPE in this chapter. It's not very
     detailed, but in case you are are not comfortable then you can skip
     over. The story won't be TOO affected, since there will be minor
     references back to this moment.
Practice that afternoon was quiet, being filled with a strange tension between
the four third years and Tsukishima. Hinata sat off to the side of the gym with
Kiyoko. The small ginger didn't meet anyone's eyes, keeping his gaze down.
Yamaguchi quietly watched his best friend, as the taller blonde tried to be as
discreet as possible when glancing toward the ginger haired middle blocker.
“Tsukki? What's wrong?” Yamaguchi finally voiced. But the only response from
the taller teen was a low hum. “Does it have to do with Hinata?”
Tsukishima sighed, looking at his best friend. “It's nothing.” The blonde
turned back to the serving practice that Ukai was currently making the rest of
the team go through. Tsukishima got into the proper serving position. He made
sure that his elbow was raised enough, before throwing the ball into the air
with his left hand. Then with his right hand, Tsukishima successfully hit the
multi-colored volleyball over the net.
There was a loud smack that resonated throughout the small gym. The familiar
sound made Hinata glance upward. The small ginger felt a wave of nostalgia.
Hinata wished he could be out there again, on the court. Happy. Normal. Hinata
wished that everything that he was going through didn't happen. He wished that
everything was back to the way it was before his mom collapsed and was sent to
the hospital. Hinata wanted to play volleyball again.
But now--with his current injuries--he couldn't even do that.
Hinata turned away again, looking back down at the waxed gym flooring. He
twiddled his thumbs on his lap and the sounds drowned out again. Hinata was
stuck again with his thoughts. He couldn't help but to think that everything
that was happening was, somehow, his fault. Even though he knew that it wasn't;
he couldn't help that his mom had to go to the hospital. Hinata couldn't help
that him and Natsu had to be under temporary custody of the very man that
abandon them. There was nothing that Hinata could have done to prepare, nor
prevent, the events that turned his life to shit.
Hinata was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a thunk to his right. The
ginger looked at the person who had sat besides him. There, Tanaka sat, not
making eye contact with the little ginger. Tanaka leaned forward so that his
elbows rested atop his knees. Hinata waited for his upperclassman to speak
first. “You can talk to me, Hinata.” The usually enthusiastic second year
smiled solemnly. All Hinata could think to do was to nod.
“I know.” Hinata whispered after a few minutes of silence.
“Then why haven't you?” Tanaka’s voice was filled with hurt, underlined with
worry and confusion. Hinata felt bad that he never confided in Tanaka, but the
simple truth was that Hinata wasn't ready yet.
Hinata wanted to tell Tanaka that, but no words came out. Tanaka sighed,
rubbing his hands over his head. The second year was about to get up from his
spot, silently regretting his decision to confront the small ginger in the
first place. “Not yet.” Hinata muttered under his breath, effectively stopping
Tanaka in his place. “I'm not ready yet.” The ginger paused, staring at his
hands on his lap. “When I'm ready, I'll tell you…All of you..”
Tanaka turned to look at Hinata this time. Hinata’s golden brown eyes were wide
with fear, hesitance. The small ginger was pleading his upperclassman. Tanaka
was practically frozen in place. Since when were Hinata’s eyes so filled with
fear? How long has the ginger’s usual golden brown eyes been plagued with such
dark emotions? How could he let his junior fall so deep into despair? Hinata
was once a child as bright as the sun, but was now as dark as the deepest part
of the ocean. “Okay.” Tanaka sighed, thankful that Hinata said he'd tell him.
“Just promise that you won't wait too long. For all of our sakes.”
Hinata offered a subtle nod of acknowledgment. Tanaka nodded back, and stood
up. The second year wing spiker made his way back to the court, where the rest
of the team was waiting to finish off practice with cool down stretches. Hinata
watched carefully, counting in his head along with Daichi’s powerful voice
bouncing off of the gyms walls.
Practice ended on an earlier note. The sun was still up, though it has began to
set. Hinata slowly walked home. He knew that he didn't have to worry about
picking up his little sister. Natsu had a parent-teacher conference that
required his dad to show up, and sober. Hinata was grateful that he could, at
the very least, watch volleyball practice that day. Because lately he was
forced to leave practice earlier to pick his sister up from daycare. So not
having to worry about picking up his sister from school for one day was a huge
weight off the ginger’s shoulders. The only thing that Hinata worried about was
that Natsu was alone with their dad.
Again, a voice broke Hinata from his worrying thoughts. The ginger turned. He
noticed that he didn't get far from Karasuno. He was barely a block away from
the Foothill store that Ukai’s mom owned and where the coach worked. Hinata
noticed Tanaka making his way toward him. The ginger waited patiently for the
second year to catch up. “Yes?”
Tanaka panted, slowly catching his breath. “I'll walk with you part of the
way.” The wing spiker offered. Hinata was going to deny the suggestion, but
Tanaka seemed like he was just going to do it anyways. So Hinata let the second
year follow him. As the two walked side by side in silence, Tanaka sighed. “So
why'd you have to wait out in practice?” Tanaka couldn't think of anything else
to say. Before everything, all Hinata spoke about was volleyball. So it only
made sense that Tanaka bring up the beloved sport.
“I...uh..” Hinata struggled to find the right words. He was beginning to feel
very insecure. The ginger knew that his senior meant well, but Hinata didn't
know how to explain. Especially since earlier that day, Hinata had no other
choice but to tell a certain tall, blonde first year. So one person was already
piecing everything together. Hinata didn't know how'd he'd feel if another
person was to find out; more or less, in the same day.
Tanaka glanced toward the small ginger to his left. Hinata looked beyond
uncomfortable with the question that was left hanging in the air. “You don't
have to answer if you don't want to.” He said to ease Hinata’s internal
turmoil. “I was just kind of wondering, because the third years seemed pretty
tense during practice today.” Tanaka continued to speak, whilst Hinata simply
listened. “Even Tsukishima seemed kind of out of it.”
“Sorry.” Hinata muttered. Starting at his shoes as he continued to walk
alongside Tanaka.
“What're you apologizing for?” Tanaka looked mildly surprised, stopping in his
tracks for a mere second. Hinata stopped too. The ginger fidgeted, looking like
he wanted to say something but couldn't. Tanaka waited patiently.
It took a few silent minutes for Hinata to gather whatever confidence he had.
“I can walk from here.” Instead of Hinata explaining his apology, Hinata
dismissed his senior’s company and scurried off as quickly as possible.
 
Tanaka was left standing in place. He couldn't do anything but to watch as
Hinata’s figure disappeared toward the home in the mountains. “Tanaka!” a voice
called. The second year turned his head, albeit hesitant to let the small
ginger disappear from sight.
Sugawara caught up to the next ace of Karasuno. Tanaka looked at the ashen
haired third year with eyes wide from confusion. Sugawara stopped and a frown
formed amongst his lips. “Hinata?” he questioned, but Tanaka shook his head.
“He went home.” Tanaka motioned with his head, the direction that the small
ginger had ran off to. The third year sighed. “What's wrong with Hinata?”
Sugawara wasn't sure if he should tell Tanaka. It wasn't that he didn't trust
the energetic second year. That wasn't the case by far! It was just that there
wasn't enough room to make accusations. And Sugawara wasn't sure that telling
Tanaka would help the situation. When Sugawara didn't respond, Tanaka spoke
again, “I know you and the other third years know something…”
The third year smiled sadly. “What we know are just accusations and
assumptions. They're ‘what if’s and ‘maybe’s...We don't know anything for
sure.” Sugawara muttered, as him and Tanaka continued to walk together.
“Then can’t you tell me too?” Tanaka asked in an unusually quiet tone. The
third year could only frown, as he silently debated with himself. “I’m worried
about him too.”
Sugawara didn’t look at his junior, and instead kept his eyes trained in front
of him. “I know you are. Everyone on the team is. Even Coach Ukai and Takeda-
sensei.” The third year paused. “But if I tell you and our assumptions are
heard by someone outside of the team, we could get in a lot of trouble.” Before
Tanaka could reply, Sugawara began to speak again. “It’s not that we don’t
trust you to keep it a secret, Tanaka. It’s just best that as few people as
possible should know until we have any solid evidence. So please wait for us
and we’ll try to gather more accurate information.”
Tanaka frowned, wondering what the ashen haired third year meant. Clearly,
Sugawara and the other third years knew something. But Tanaka didn’t bother to
ask anymore questions. Instead, the second year bid his farewell and took a
separate path from Sugawara. As two became one, Tanaka was left with his own
thoughts. The wing spiker hated how everyone seemed to know something except
for him. It was like he was being kept out of the circle on purpose. Then there
was Hinata himself. Now, Tanaka trusted Hinata when the latter promised that he
would let the second year know in due time. But Tanaka wasn’t so sure that he
had the patience to wait for the ginger to come to him. The only thing that
Tanaka could do was to hold his own investigation.
                                     -----
Hinata arrived at home after the long, painfully dreadful walk home. The small
ginger walked up to his front door, pulling out his house keys and slipping it
into the keyhole. With a low click, the door was unlocked and Hinata applied
the slightest pressure in order to push the wood door open. The high school
stepped inside his home, noticing how the house was eerily silent. And the
ginger knew what that meant, closing the door behind him.
Before Hinata could make a quick dash for the stairs that led to his room, a
light flickered on from the kitchen. “Shouyou? Is that you?” A deep voice
bellowed from the room to Hinata’s left. The small teen flinched. His shoulders
scrunched up to his ears and his nose crinkled ever so slightly. His eyebrows
furrowed and Hinata mentally prepared himself for anything that might happen to
him within the next few moments.
Reluctantly, Hinata entered his kitchen. As soon as he entered, a putrid smell
hit his nose. As quick as he could, Hinata raised his hand to cover his nose.
Standing a few feet away, the teen’s dad was leaning against the kitchen
counter, a lit cigarette resting between the man’s lips and a couple of beer
bottles sitting in front of him. Hinata’s frown was hidden behind his raised
hand. “Y-yes dad?” The ginger squeaked, trying his hardest to release the
tension that was building up in his shoulders.
Hinata waited for the man to speak. Hinata’s dad took a long hit of the deadly
cigarette and puffed out a large cloud of smoke. The man’s dark brown eyes
narrowed in on Hinata’s small frame. “Where the hell have you been? Didn’t I
tell you about curfew?” Hinata was a bit startled by his father’s unusually
calm voice.
“Y-yes.” Hinata whispered. “I-I’m sorry..”
The man clicked his tongue, placing the cigarette between his chapped lips
again. There was a moment of silence, as Hinata waited to either be punished or
dismissed. He hoped the it was the latter. Again, Hinata couldn't help the way
his body flinched as the man stood up to his complete height. The tall, burly
man stared at the ginger that stood in the kitchen’s doorway. “Lately you’ve
been breaking so many rules Shouyou.” The man stated. His voice coming out slow
and thick. It made a shiver run down Hinata’s spine. The high schooler knew
something was about to happen. “Maybe I’ve been going to easy on you. Do I
really have to result in punishing Natsu because you don’t want to listen to
the rules that I’ve set?”
“NO!” Hinata cried. His golden brown eyes widened in disbelief. He’d done
everything he could to protect Natsu from this man! “I-I’ll be good! I-
I promise! I’ll be good…Just done hurt Natsu. Please.” Hinata pleaded, eyes
trained to the ground.
The man towered above Hinata’s much smaller figure. He hummed in mock thought.
“Why should I forgive you, Shouyou?” The older male questioned. “You’ve broken
so many rules in only a few days. Warning, after warning. You still don’t seem
to understand..I don’t think you deserve to be forgiven.” He snickered,
enjoying the way his son’s eyes glossed over with panicked tears.
“I’ll do anything!” Hinata raised his voice. The teen was determined to
negotiate. The smaller ginger absolutely would not let his father lay a hand on
his precious baby sister.
“Anything?” The man hummed, and his lips stretched into a malicious smirk.
“Really?” Hinata nodded his head quickly. The man leaned in, his face mere
centimeters away from his son’s. At this distance, Hinata could smell the toxic
smoke that burned from the cigarette resting in the corner of his father’s
lips. He could also see how red his father’s eyes were. They were dilated. And
every time the man exhaled there was a disgusting hint of alcohol plaguing his
breath. “Well then Shouyou, let’s have some fun.”
Hinata wasn’t sure what his dad meant by that. But the way the world spilled
from the man’s lips, even Hinata could tell that the words weren’t so innocent.
Before Hinata could try to make any type of escape, the man’s larger hand
gripped roughly at Hinata’s right bicep. The grip was tight, and Hinata swore
that his blood circulation was being cut off. Hinata closed his eyes and
awaited for a fist to crash upon his cheek. But that never came.
Instead the man’s right hand grabbed Hinata’s face and suddenly lips were
roughly pressed against the teen’s mouth. Hinata’s eyes flew open, staring back
at the narrowed brown eyes in front of him. It only took mere seconds more
until Hinata tried to pull away. The small ginger thrashed in futile attempts
to release himself from his father’s death-like grip. To no avail and the grip
tightened. Hinata’s golden eyes blurred with tears, that finally streamed down
his cheeks. The small ginger began to thrash again when a wet muscle pressed
against his bottom lip.
Still, the man was not even phased. He continued to force his tongue into his
own son’s mouth. But surprisingly, Hinata was putting up enough of a fight. So
the ginger haired man had to take drastic measures. He dug his nails into
Hinata’s bicep and jaw, pressing his tongue against Hinata’s teeth. When Hinata
still didn’t open his mouth, the man applied more pressure, until his son
gasped from the pain. He took that moment to shove his tongue inside Hinata’s
mouth.
Hinata, on the other hand, felt disgusted. His mind knew that this was wrong,
but he couldn’t overpower his dad. The man was bigger than him, and stronger
too. It was physically impossible. So Hinata did the next best thing. He bit
down as hard as he could. His dad was forced to pull away, hand clamped over
his mouth. But Hinata felt the rage rolling off the man in thick waves. And
before Hinata could blink, he felt pain explode on the side of his face. Then
the pain that pooled around his side. Hinata coughed, gasping for as much air
as he could. But the blows to his body didn’t stop. Eventually blood spilled
from Hinata’s lips.
“That fucking hurt Shouyou!” The man grunted in between each punch or kick he
landed upon Hinata’s pale skin. After another moment of hitting the child that
crumbled to the floor, the man bent down to his son’s level. “Try that again,
and I’ll go play with Natsu instead.” That was all it took, and Hinata was
compliant.
                                     -----
The touching started again, but this time they were in Hinata’s mother’s room.
Or what used to be her room before she was transferred into the hospital. Now
it belonged to his father.
Hinata was thrown onto the large bed, the sheets crumpling beneath him. His dad
stood at the edge of the bed, glowering dangerously at Hinata’s shaking figure.
“Hopefully you’ve learned your lesson this time, Shouyou. Remember, Natsu is
right down the hall…” The man dared Hinata to try something again. The high
school student nodded his head. “I was going to go easy on you this time, but
now you’ve pissed me off.” He growled, reaching for his belt buckle.
At that smallest movement, Hinata vaguely knew what was coming next. And the
thought disgusted him. He was terrified. Hinata didn’t understand why his
father was the way he was. Hell. Hinata didn’t even understand how that type of
thing was going to work. But he didn’t have any time to think about it, because
he was harshly grabbed by his hair and yanked forward. A small yelp of pain
escaped from Hinata’s lips. Taking a minute to process what was happening,
Hinata finally noticed what was in front of him. His dad’s cock was centimeters
from his face, fully exposed and fully erect. Hinata knew what was coming.
“Suck.” His father demanded.
Hinata didn’t want to, not in the slightest. This type of thing was wrong.
Hinata knew that much. All of this was wrong. The young high schooler
hesitantly stared at the straining cock in front of him, trying to think of
some way to get out of this situation. But Hinata wasn’t given that luxury.
Without any warning or preparation, the man thrust forward into his son’s
slightly parted lips. In one rough thrust, his dick hit the very back of
Hinata’s throat. The smaller ginger gagged, and tears already fell down his
cheeks. Hinata placed his hands on his dad’s hips, trying to push away. But
that didn’t work.
The older man grabbed Hinata by the back of his head, and quickened his
thrusts. He pulled all the way out, and pushed roughly back in. He was careful
to make sure that he gave Hinata no rest. The man grunted, eyes closed, and the
picture of some young high school girl sucking him off lingered in his mind. He
was close. Because Hinata’s mouth was so warm, he was close. “You..better
swallow, Shouyou.” He moaned his son’s name, his pace quickening again.
Hinata didn’t hear the words though. His jaw was numb and he couldn’t feel
anything. His eyes were narrowed, as black circled the edge of his vision. He
couldn’t hear anything except for the loud smacking that resonated every time
his father thrusted forward. The ginger haired teen wasn’t even struggling back
anymore. He couldn’t win against his dad’s strength.
Then there was a loud moan of Shouyou’s name. Bitter white liquid shot into
Shouyou’s mouth and he gagged again, trying to pull away. Still Hinata
couldn’t, with the thick fingers that were curled into the back of his head and
held him in his place. The man before him began to thrust—albeit slower this
time—milking the rest of his orgasm into his son’s mouth. “Fuck. Shouyou.” He
moaned, throwing his head back.
When the orgasm passed, Hinata was finally able to fall back onto the bed. His
eyes were closed, hair tousled, and face red. The boy’s clothing was a mess, as
a few white drops of cum stained his school uniform. Hinata’s dad smirked down
at the sight, getting hard once more.
“Don’t relax yet, Shouyou. We’re far from done.”
                                     -----
It was Saturday morning, the light peeking into the dark room through the thick
curtains. Hinata lie awake on the bed in his mother’s old room. He couldn’t
sleep at all, which was understandable considering the night he had. His body
was in so much pain from being handled so harshly. The ginger haired child
could barely move from his spot. But he had to, Hinata knew. It was a Saturday
after all, and that meant weekend morning practice. Even though Hinata knew
that he couldn’t play, he’d rather attend anyways if it meant he didn’t have to
be in the same house with his father all weekend.
So, Hinata slowly forced himself to sit up, letting his legs fall over the side
of the bed. His hands supported his body weight--clinging to the bed--as the
high schooler pushed himself into a standing position. Hinata’s knees would’ve
buckled from beneath him, if he hadn’t been holding himself up using the bed as
a sort of leverage. Although he wasn’t putting anyway onto his legs, just
standing up hurt like hell. Hinata’s legs were visibly shaking and if he were
to let go of the bed, Hinata knew that he’d collapse.
With a deep inhale in preparation, Hinata leisurely pushed away from the bed,
keeping his arms extended at his sides to balance himself. The ginger couldn’t
help but to whimper from the pain that shot from his backside, up his spine.
Walking the slowest pace he’s ever walked, Hinata scurried toward his bathroom.
Looking upon his reflection in the mirror, Hinata jumped in surprise.
He looked even worse than he has been lately. His hair was matted, tangled, and
most likely untamable. His eyes were red, sunken in, and purple rings circled
under his eyes. His cheeks and nose were tinted red. Lips swollen, with a new
cut scabbing over. Upon his neck, he sported a ring of purple bruises that
looked horrifyingly like hands. Hinata still didn’t have any clothes on, not
since they were practically torn to shred under his father’s death grip. This
was the part that scared Hinata the most. His pale skin color was hardly
recognizable, being littered with so many bruises, both old and new. The marks
were a mix of green, black, blue and, purple. They scattered his chest and
waist mostly, a large blob of dark spots. Then Hinata noticed the crescent
shaped cuts on his hips, where his dad found was the only place he could easily
grip and mark.
The physical wounds stopped there.
But Hinata’s mind was just as broken as his body looked, even more so.
At the sight of his own body, Hinata felt the tears pooling in his eyes. He
couldn’t go to practice today. Not looking like this. Then everybody would
surely know. Not to mention that Tsukishima was going to kill his dad, and then
him. Probably. At that thought, the first year could feel the anxiety bubbling
in his chest and spread throughout his body. Finally his legs buckled, Hinata
falling onto the tiled floor with a loud  thunk . His breathing became labored
as Hinata panicked. He couldn’t clear his head, couldn’t find a way to calm
himself down. And that alone brought more panic and fear.
***** A Turn for the Worse *****
Chapter Notes
     CHAPTER WARNING!!:: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS CUTTING/SELF-HARM!!! If you
     are uncomfortable with this, please skip over this section. Thank
     you.
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
     Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression,
     Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harrasment
     (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to
     be added)
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
Early Saturday morning, the Karasuno volleyball club was holding their usual
weekend practice. As each of the high schoolers began to pool into their club
room, everyone took note of their missing ginger haired middle blocker. Yet no
one commented on it. Daichi turned toward his team. “Everyone,” the third year
called for his teammate’s attention, “Let’s all hurry and get dressed for
practice. Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei have an announcement for us regarding
the upcoming tournament.”
“Yes!” The rest of the high school boys responded.
“Tsukishima.” Daichi turned toward the tallest member on the team. Said blonde
turned toward the dark haired captain. “When you’re finished, can I talk to you
outside?” Daichi questioned. The first year nodded his head in acknowledgement,
before continuing to slip his t-shirt over his head. Tanaka glanced in between
Daichi and the blond first year, hastening his dressing process.
Once Tsukishima was finished dressing into his practice clothes, he tucked his
belongings against the wall in a neat pile. When satisfied, Tsukishima exited
the club room in order to look for Daichi. The third year was waiting at the
bottom of the stairs, by the club room building. A frown stretching across the
brunette’s lips, as his brown eyes scanned the school gates. “Daichi-san?”
Tsukishima called to announce his presence.
Daichi spun around and offered a grim smile. “Hey, Tsukishima.” The blonde
nodded, waiting for the captain to stop beating around the bush. “You hear
anything from Hinata since yesterday morning?” Daichi’s voice lowered
considerable. The older male glancing around for any unwanted listeners. A sigh
left Tsukishima’s lips.
“None.” Tsukishima muttered. The corner of his lips tugged downward and his
eyes narrowed considerably. “I feel like something bad is happening.” Daichi
could clearly see how frustrated the blonde was, which proved to be surprising
since Tsukishima always made it seem like he despised Hinata.
“I have the same feeling.” Daichi ended up admitting. “And with Hinata not
here, the feeling seems to have intensified. I was hoping he contacted you, at
the very least.” Tsukishima shook his head though.
“He hasn’t.” The blonde scowled, reaching up to readjust his glasses that kept
sliding down the bridge of his nose. Daichi exhaled loudly, his eyes closing
and hands on his hips.
“I see. Well, thanks anyway Tsukishima.” Daichi told his junior, who nodded and
dismissed himself toward the school’s second gym. The third year hoped that
talking to Tsukishima would ease his consciousness, but the decision only
intensified the horrible feeling that bubbled in the pits Daichi’s gut. He
thought that since Tsukishima sort of cornered Hinata into telling him what was
going on, Tsukishima was become someone for Hinata to constantly confide in.
But it seemed that that wasn’t the case. Daichi cursed under his breath and ran
his right hand over his face.
“Daichi-san?” Said third year jumped at the sudden call of his name. Standing
in front of him was a worried looking Tanaka. The expression that the second
year was making meant that he heard his and Tsukishima’s conversation.
Daichi frowned. “Tanaka. It’s..”
“I know. Susa-san explained that only a few people should know about whatever,
at least until there’s more solid evidence.” Tanaka’s frown deepened, as
betrayal and hurt lingered in his brown eyes. “Right?”
“Yeah. Sorry Tanaka.” Daichi apologized. The usually hyperactive second year
gave a broken smile and nodded his head. Together, the two wing spikers made
their way into the gym to await the rest of the team.
Once the team—excluding their ginger haired middle blocker—gathered, Ukai stood
in front of them all with Takeda at his side. “Okay I have an announcement
regarding the tournament rapidly approaching.” Ukai began, his brown eyes
scanning over the small group of high schoolers. With a frown, the young coach
took a breath and prepared for the team’s reaction to his announcement. “I’ve
decided to momentarily pull Hinata from the starting line.” There was a short
moment of silence before the high schooler’s broke out in protest.
“We can’t pull Hinata off the starting line!”
“Just because he’s not here doesn't mean that he’s not practicing!”
“Our attacks were centered around him and Kageyama! What’re we going to do
now?”
“He’ll come back!”
Ukai sighed before shouting to reel in everyone’s attention again. “I realize
that you all don’t agree with me on this decision, but frankly, there’s nothing
more that I can do about it. Currently, Hinata is not in the proper
condition—physically nor emotionally—to be participating in volleyball.” The
quiet murmurs stopped after this was pointed out. “For now, Ennoshita will be
taking Hinata’s spot as middle blocker. And until I see improvement in Hinata’s
mental and physical wellbeing, he is suspended from participating in practice
of any kind. Understood?”
The high school boys looked amongst themselves. “Yes.” They reluctantly
replied.
                                      ——-
Hinata was able to slowly calm himself down. His breathing wasn’t as erratic
anymore. Still, the ginger sat unclothed on his bathroom floor. His knees
pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around them. Gold eyes
fluttered as adrenaline left Hinata’s system. The pain still lingered, never
going away. It stayed, a sore ache in his lower back. The bruises that littered
the high schooler’s chest and waist felt like fire, slowly burning him alive.
Hinata didn’t want to get up. He didn’t want to leave this position, that he
found comfortable. The way he sat, it felt like he could protect himself. It
made him feel safer. But Hinata knew that he would have to get up.
So he did. Ever so slowly, Hinata unraveled himself and stood on shaky legs.
His arms were spread out to his side in a fetal attempt to himself balanced.
This time, as Hinata passed the mirror, he avoided looking at his reflection.
He didn’t need another break down. The male made his way to his shower, and
turned the water to a warm, bearable temperature. When the water was heated to
Hinata’s liking, the ginger haired boy climbed into his shower. Careful not to
slip, he slowly washed himself of the vile, sticky liquid that dried amongst
his pale skin. Seeing the substance come off wasn’t enough. Hinata didn’t feel
clean. He kept scrubbing his body, until his pale skin tinted red. Even then,
he didn’t feel clean. Moving on, Hinata’s nimble fingers reached up to clean
his hair too. Rinsing his orange locks thoroughly, before pumping a little too
much shampoo into his palm and scrubbed his scalp with just enough force.
Hinata soaped his scalp another few times before he was satisfied, and rinsed
his hair again.
Hinata winced as he continued to soap his body again. The redness from before
had not disappeared, instead the color only brightened by the quickened
scratching of Hinata’s nails. As he kept on moving around in the shower, pain
continuously shot up the back of Hinata’s spine. He didn’t even want to think
about why it hurt so much because deep down, he knew. Hinata knew why his
backside hurt. He knew why it felt weird back there when he moved. And most of
all, Hinata knew he’d have to clean there. Reluctantly, Hinata went to work in
cleaning his sore hole. As he cleaned that area, tears pooled at the corner of
his eyes.
As slowly as he could, Hinata pushed a finger inside himself. He wanted to cry
out in pain, but he bit his lip to keep from making a sound. He moved his
finger around, feeling a disgusting, sticky substance falling down his leg. The
tears fell over Hinata’s cheeks. His stomach muscles tightened and Hinata
pushed that damn substance out of him. As much as he could, he pushed it out.
With the help of his own finger and soap, Hinata cleaned himself. But even with
the many times he soaped back there, he did not feel clean. He felt disgusted
with himself.
Once out of the shower, Hinata wrapped the softest towel he could find around
his body. The fuzzy fabric felt comforting against his irritated and bruised
skin. The ginger opened the bathroom door, peeking up and down the hallways.
Thankfully there was no sign of his dad anywhere. So Hinata crept to his room,
opening the door quietly. He slipped inside and shut the door behind him, with
the small click of the lock. Upon his bed, Hinata saw his little sister
snuggled under the his blankets. Her matching ginger hair peeking out from
under his navy blue pillow. He couldn’t help the throaty chuckle that rumbled
in his chest. Hinata moved to change into the baggiest t-shirt and the biggest
pair of sweats that he owned. He didn’t want his clothes further irritating his
skin and his bruises.
After Hinata finished dressing into his clothes, he sat at the edge of his bed.
He reached out and ran his fingers through Natsu messy orange locks. She
squirmed under his touch, making Hinata laugh quietly. Natsu let out a small
whine when Hinata pulled away. “Natsu.” Hinata called, lightly shaking his
little sister awake. Bright gold eyes fluttered open, looking dazed and
disoriented. The black of her pupils dilated, trying to focus on Hinata’s face
that leaned over her. “Natsu wake up. Let’s go visit mom this morning.” Hinata
urged when the little girl groaned. “Hurry before dad wakes up.” He said again,
helping Natsu sit up.
The small girl rubbed at her eyes, opening her mouth for a big yawn. “Nii-
chan?” Natsu questioned, staring at her older brother. Hinata chuckled again,
patting the girl on the head. “We’re visiting mommy?”
“Yes Natsu.” Hinata nodded his head. “If you want to go before dad wakes up,
then you have to get up now.” Natsu nodded back, her feet landing with a dull
thump on the wooden floor of Hinata’s room. “You have to be quiet in the
hallway. Dad’s still sleeping.” The older ginger warned, bringing his right
index finger to his lips. Natsu’s messy curls bounced when he nodded her head
again.
Sneaking down the hall, the siblings slipped into Natsu’s room for the younger
Hinata to get dressed. Hinata pulled out his sister’s clothes, letting her
dress herself. After her shirt was on, Hinata quickly ran a brush through her
hair in an attempt to tame her locks, to no avail. He tied his sister’s hair
into her usually preferred twin pigtails. And in no time flat, the siblings
were out the door. “Nii-chan?” Natsu asked, looking up at her big brother.
Hinata looked down at her. “Did daddy hurt you again?” Her voice was
uncharacteristically quiet, as she stared down at her pink and white shoes.
“You’re limping.”
“Ah.” Hinata winced. Apparently he wasn’t hiding his injuries well enough. “I’m
fine Natsu. I feel better after the shower I took.” He tried to reassure the
smaller girl that he was okay. Natsu frowned. “Really Natsu, I’m okay. Let me
handle dad.” Before Natsu could argue, Hinata gently took his sister’s hand and
tugged her to the bus stop.
The two Hinata siblings waited for their bus that arrived within twenty
minutes. When the bus doors opened, Hinata allowed his sister to climb aboard
first and followed right after her. The two sat in the middle section of the
bus, with Natsu sitting beside the window and Hinata sitting by the aisle.
Natsu bounced in her seat, much like Hinata used to do before fear and stress
consumed him. At the very least Hinata was glad that the light in his sister’s
eyes has not faded yet.
The bus stopped a couple more times to pick up another handful of people,
before it stopped in front of the hospital. Hinata gathered Natsu and led her
off of the bus. Natsu skipped toward the door, with her older brother striding
after her. The automatic doors opened and a cool rush of air hit Hinata in the
face. The coolness felt soothing against the heat of his red skin. Hinata
checked in with the receptionist at the front, as per usual.
At the time, nothing seemed out of place.
The two siblings made their way up to room 513. As the doors closed to the
elevator, a bad feeling settled in the pit of Hinata’s stomach. He furrowed his
eyebrows, not knowing what this bad feeling was. Instead he focused his golden-
brown eyes on the number five button that lit up underneath Natsu’s finger. The
elevator began to move and to Hinata the ride felt long. The bright light above
him was too bright, blinding almost. The space seemed to grow smaller, the
longer he was inside this metal cage. A pounding in the side of his head began
to appear, and Hinata cringed at it.
Then there was a  ding . And the doors slide open…
To absolute chaos.
The first thing that Hinata noticed was the bed that was being wheeled out of
an all too familiar hospital room. Mind running on automatic, Hinata picked up
his sister, running after the nurses and doctors that wheeled a gurney down the
hall. “Wait! Wait!” Hinata called after the people in starling white
uniforms.”That’s my mom!” His voice cracked through the bustling hallway,
echoing and bouncing off of the tile floor. Natsu was crying, terrified by the
sudden loudness of her brother’s voice. She was confused. She had every right
to be.
Hinata was stopped by a nurse with long red tinted hair and bright blue eyes.
She held her arms out, stopping Hinata from following the other doctors into a
bigger elevator that allowed the gurney to be wheeled inside. The doors closed
and Hinata screamed, taking his anger out on the nurse. “Sir, you need to calm
down.” The older woman frowned. She pitied the children. They were so young,
coming whenever they could between school to come visit their mom. It was a
sad, rare sight.
“Where are they taking her!?” Hinata yelled frantically. His eyes kept
travelling back to the closed metal doors that clearly reflected his wide,
frightened eyes and shaky hands that gripped the back of Natsu’s dress.
“They’re taking her to the ER, for emergency resuscitation.” The older nurse
calmly explained. “Just a few moments ago, Mrs. Hinata’s heart monitor
flatlined.” Hinata inhaled, eyebrows furrowed as if he didn’t quite understand.
But Hinata understood perfectly. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, the air
caught in his throat. He felt the faint tugging of his hair that Natsu pulled
on in order to get his attention. But Hinata couldn’t respond, let alone look
his sister in the eyes. All the ginger could think about was the fact that his
mom’s heart stopped. It. Had. Stopped. Hinata felt like throwing up. He felt
disgusted. Everything from the last couple weeks were catching up to him. And
it was all out of Hinata’s control. “Take her to the waiting room.” Hinata’s
voice cracked, as he held Natsu out to the nurse. “I--” Hinata took a breath to
clear the lump in his throat. “I need time alone.” The words came out rushed
and desperate.
“Nii-chan!” Natsu whined and cried while she was handed off to the older male.
Her tiny hands reaching out to her brother’s figure that disappeared down the
hall.
                                     -----
Hinata ran into the nearest bathroom, locking it so that any other visitors
could not enter. The tears began to flow more freely over his lightly freckled
cheeks. Eyelids closing and hiding away watery gold eyes. Hinata brought his
hands to lock over his mouth. He didn’t want to hear the sobs that wracked his
chest and shook his shoulders. But the whimpers stilled slipped through the
cracks in his fingers. And the sound was pathetic in Hinata’s ears. He couldn’t
believe what was happening. In as little as two weeks, his life had completely
flipped around.
To start it off, his mom suddenly collapsed and was sent to the hospital. She
was diagnosed with some deadly sickness that Hinata didn’t even want to try
pronouncing. Then his dad sudden appeared again, after years of disappearance,
and taking temporary custody of him and Natsu. The abuse began, and not to
mention the forbidden activities that took place last night. Now, his mom. His
mom was dying.
It was too much to handle.
Hinata stood up, walking up to the mirrors that lined the walls in the
bathroom. What used to be brightly lit gold eyes, were now a dull brown that
reflected in the mirror. The whites of his eyes were a bright red. He could see
even the bright red veins that lined around the pupil. Dried tears streaked his
too red cheeks and snot ran underneath his nose. He seemed to be doing this a
lot lately, just staring at his appearance. It was like he was a masochist,
finding something comforting in seeing his horribly ruined appearance.
Then the anger settled in his stomach. In his chest. He was anger at himself.
Hinata knew that everything that had happened was out of his control. But he
needed someone to blame, and frankly the only person he could blame was
himself. There must’ve been something else he could have done to prevent his
mother from going through all of this. She suffered so much, and Hinata wanted
nothing more than to ease her pain and worries. But he couldn’t even accomplish
that.
“DAMN IT!” Hinata cursed loudly, and in a spurt of absolute rage, the ginger
reached out and punched the mirror with all his might. After some of his anger
dissipated, Hinata was surprised by the cracked glass and the pain that
blossomed in the knuckles of his right hand. But the pain felt good. “Damn it.”
He muttered to himself with a humorless chuckle. “I really must be a sadist.”
The male drew his hand back again, punching the glass over and over until
pieces shattered over the sink.
Suddenly, it was like Hinata was hypnotized. He stared intently at the pretty
transparent glass that littered the marbled sink. His nimble fingers glazed
over the glass shards, wrapping around the sharp edges. And the sting felt
good. Hinata’s eyebrows furrowed as he brought the glass up to his face to
examine. The glass was pretty, with the luminous light from above reflecting
off it’s shined surface. Hinata wanted to feel the pain again. He wanted that
pain that he could control. The thought was so very appealing to him. So
slowly, Hinata brought the jagged edge to his hip. With his left hand, he
revealed the purple and black bruised skin of his right hip. The other hands,
slowly bringing the sharp glass to his skin.
Before he knew it, Hinata made the first cut. It was thin, just barely breaking
the skin. Little beads of blood slipping through the tiny cut. The pain was
there, a small, barely noticeable sting. And that wasn’t enough. He wanted to
feel more of it. So he brought the edge to his skin again. This time Hinata
pressed harder, drawing more blood. Surprisingly the brightly colored red
looked stunning in contrast to the black of his hip.
It looked pretty.
And few more cuts were added after that. Hinata just couldn’t stop. The pain
that he inflicted himself was calming. Almost instantly, he knew that he was
addicted. It took him more than a few minutes to reel himself back into
reality. Hinata remembered that he was doing this in a hospital bathroom, where
all it took was for one visitor to tell an employee about the locked bathroom
door. Cursing under his breath, Hinata slipped the shard of glass into the
pocket of his sweats. He was careful enough to pat his seven cuts down from the
red beads of blood. The ginger kept the paper towel pressed against his hip,
keeping it in place with the elastic of his boxers and sweats. Next, Hinata
rinsed his right hand of the black blood that dried over his knuckles. The soap
that he used created a nice sting over the cuts, but Hinata preferred the cuts
that littered his hips. He wrapped his hand in temporary bandages that he made
out of toilet paper and paper towels. Natsu would question him, but he’d deal
with that later.
Finishing cleaning up the mess of blood on both the mirror and the floor.
Finally the ginger haired boy washed his face with the cracking dried tears,
and patting his cheeks down. With a sigh, Hinata exited the bathroom. He took
the elevator back down to the first floor, where the waiting room to the
Emergency Room would be. Hinata easily found the red headed nurse that sat
beside his little sister’s tiny form. The teen cleared his throat, as he walked
up to the two.
“Nii-chan!” Natsu instantly jumped up, running into her brother’s open arms and
burying her face tear-struck face into Hinata’s stomach. “Where were you!? I
was worried! And mom hasn’t come out yet!” The girl sobbed loudly, but the
sound was muffled into Hinata’s t-shirt.
Hinata kneeled down so that he was face-to-face with his little sister. “I’m so
sorry, Natsu.” He muttered into the tiny girl’s hair. He placed a gentle kiss
into the crown of her head. “I was shaken up and I froze. I know I should’ve
been there for you too.” Natsu grumbled and whined, but Hinata knew that he was
forgiven. He turned to the nurse, who had stood up to leave. Hinata didn’t say
anything, but she smiled anyway and nodded her head.
Natsu and Hinata moved back toward the seats. It didn’t take long for Natsu to
fall asleep on Hinata’s lap, leaving the teen in tense silence. The hidden cuts
on the right side of his hip throbbed dully, as Natsu’s shoulder dug into the
tiny wounds. But Hinata hid his quiet cringing well. His right, poorly bandaged
hand rubbed gently through his sister’s hair, in a form of distracting himself
from thinking anymore.
Then a doctor stepped into the waiting area. He called Hinata’s mom’s name.
Almost in an instant, Hinata stood. Except he remembered that Natsu’s head was
on his lap, so he steadily moved her before walking up to the awaiting doctor.
“I’m Hinata Shouyou, her son.” Hinata blinked up at the doctor. “I-is..Did she
make it?”
The doctor was taking too long to answer. And Hinata’s heart sunk. A new set of
tears were already sprouting in the corner of his dull brown eyes. “I am so
sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, we were unable to resuscitate your mother.
The brain tumor was just too large, and surgery wouldn’t have had a very high
survival rate.” The doctor explained, but Hinata didn’t hear anything past the
first sentence. The ringing in his ears were too loud. The weight of the
doctor’s words sat heavily on Hinata’s shoulders.
The world around him turned dull. And the figure of the older man in front of
him blurred.
Hinata felt sick again. He wanted to throw up. But most of all, the urge to cut
bubbled in his chest. “C-can we see her?” Hinata’s voice didn’t even sound like
his own. It sounded foreign. Unfamiliar. Was Hinata even the one talking? He
wasn’t sure, but the lips of the doctor moved and he nodded his head. Hinata
took that as an okay. So he went back and stirred Natsu from her sleep.
“Nii-chan?” Natsu questioned, rubbing her eyes from sleep.
Hinata smiled one of the most broken smiles in his life. Not even he could mask
the amount of hurt that he felt. “Hey Natsu.” His voice cracked. At this point,
he was moving on autopilot. The girl tilted her head, gold eyes darkening with
confusion and worry. “I need you to listen very carefully.” Even though Hinata
felt his voice cracking, he didn’t stutter and for the most part his tone was
even. He was slightly proud of the amount of calm that he was showing. “The
doctors, they did everything they could. But what happened to Mom was just out
of their power, and nothing more could be done.” Hinata explained as slowly as
possible.
Natsu’s face scrunched up. Her nose crinkled and her jaw tightened. “I don’t
understand, Nii-chan.” She whispered.
Hinata chewed at his bottom lip, thinking of the best way to tell Natsu. He
finally decided on pulling the girl into a tight hug, hoping that he could be
even half as comforting as the hugs their mom used to give. It was also to hide
the tears that started to fall. “Mom’s not coming back, Natsu.” This time,
Hinata’s voice did waver, but it was only natural. Natsu sobbed into his neck,
whisper ‘no no no’ over and over again. Her tiny hand clutched the back of
Hinata’s t-shirt in her fists. “I’m so sorry, Natsu. I wish I could’ve done
something else.” But the girl didn’t respond, only wailing loudly into the
crook of her brother’s neck. “Let’s go say our goodbye’s to mom.”
The two siblings were led to a room past the Emergency Room doors. They
followed the doctor down a seemingly endless hallway, finally turning into a
room on the left. Hinata choked on the air in his lungs. Natsu spun around, a
new onset of tears bursting from her already bloodshot eyes. The doctor
dismissed himself, giving time to the siblings. Hinata, who was now carrying
the wailing Natsu,stepped up to the side of the bed. He stared at his mother’s
lifeless body.
The woman’s complexion was pale, a ghostly white. Purple circles under her eyes
created the effect that her eyes were more sunken in than they actually were.
Her eyes--themselves--were closed, hiding away the golden eyes that Hinata and
Natsu had inherited from her. Short black hair was matted and dead-looking,
tangled in small knots across the white pillow under her head. Down her neck,
her collar bones were sharp and almost tore through her actual skin. Arms and
legs were thin, and just as pale as the rest of her body. She was small.
Hinata gagged at the sight. It made him sick, sicker than any nausea he’d ever
felt before a volleyball game. It was horrid. Stomach acid rising into his
throat. He feverishly swallowed, and backed away from his mom’s body. “I’m
sorry...I’m so sorry.” He muttered. Hinata didn’t know who he was apologizing
to, whether it be his mother, his sister, God, or maybe even himself. But those
words were the only thing that he could think to say as endless tears dripped
from his chin.
***** Seeking Help *****
Chapter Summary
     EXPLICIT CONTENT in the Chapter.
     Swearing/Cursing, Rape, Sexual Activity, Implied Cutting
     If You're SENSITIVE To This PLEASE SKIP THAT SECTION!!
     This whole chapter is NOT ENTIRELY EXPLICIT. There is still IMPORTANT
     story portions.
Chapter Notes
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
     Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression,
     Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harassment
     (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to
     be added)
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
      
     (See End Notes)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
“Shouyou.” A deep voice grumbled from behind Shouyou and Natsu. The older
ginger spun around, clutching Natsu closer to him. Standing in the doorway was
his father, a terrifying man. Luckily a doctor stood not far behind the burly
ginger haired man, so Shouyou’s dad could not hurt him.
“Dad.” Shouyou muttered, eye furrowed. He hesitantly looked in between the
doctor and his father. There would probably be a funeral service that was to be
discussed. The man glared at the high schooler as he stalked into the room. As
normal as possible--as to not raise any suspicion with the accompanying doctor-
-Shouyou’s dad placed a thick hand over his son’s left shoulder. And he
squeezed, tightly. Shouyou knew that he was pissed. Him and Natsu were not
supposed to visit their mom. Adding on to the fact that they snuck out this
morning, without telling their father. Shouyou knew punishment would come
later.
“Are you alright?” The tall ginger questioned, almost reluctantly. But Shouyou
rapidly nodded his head to prevent any unnecessary conversation. “I’m sorry you
and Natsu have to go through this. It’s traumatic. Why don’t you two wait out
in the lobby, so I can take care of everything here.” He suggested, painfully
squeezing Shouyou’s shoulder. His nails digging into Shouyou’s skin, even
through the thickness of the teen’s t-shirt.
Shouyou didn’t hesitate to respond. His father hated hesitation. He answered
with a quiet ‘yes’ that was clearly laced with fear--at least that’s what he
thought. But the doctor seemed to have mistaken that fear for shock and
mourning. In a sense, he wasn’t wrong. Shouyou quickly scurried out of the
room, with Natsu curled in his grasp. He was led back to the waiting room by a
nurse and was left to wait for his dad to come back. “Nii-chan?” Natsu croaked,
the sound muffled into his neck. Shouyou hummed in response. “What’s going to
happen now?”
The question baffled Shouyou because he wasn’t sure. He didn’t know what was
going to happen; not exactly at least. The ginger haired teen did have an idea
though, and the near future didn’t look very promising. “Dad’s probably going
to get full custody of us.” Shouyou said quietly. He despised that idea. He
didn’t want to spend anymore time around this man, especially with Natsu under
the same roof. She would become a constant use to threaten Shouyou.
“So daddy’s still gonna hurt you?” She whispered quietly, so only her brother
could hear her. Shouyou nodded into her hair.
“Probably.”
“I don’t want that.” Natsu sniffled, wrapping her arms tighter around the
elder’s neck. Shouyou tightened his grip around her as well.
“Neither do I,” The high schooler admitted. “But I’ll do whatever it takes to
keep you out of harm’s way, so you have to listen to me. Okay?”
“‘Kay.” The girl responded.
Shouyou kissed his sister’s temple. “Now go to sleep Natsu. It’s been a long
day.” He hummed, slowly lulling his baby sister to sleep. Natsu snored ever so
quietly, her breath hot against Shouyou’s neck.
                                     -----
Shouyou wasn’t sure how long he waited, but finally his dad came out from
wherever he had went with the doctor. The two men shook hands and next thing
Shouyou knew was that the older ginger was making his way toward Shouyou and
Natsu. Shouyou tiredly stood up. No words were exchanged, as the teen followed
his dad out of the hospital. Shouyou didn’t realize how long he’s been confined
in the hospital that day. Shouyou had arrived at the hospital sometime that
late morning, maybe around ten o’clock. But now the sun was already setting,
hiding behind distant hills and leaving a pink, blue, purple, and orange hue in
it’s wake.
Silently, the broken family gathered into the car the Shouyou’s dad had drove
down to Miyagi Hospital. The ride was silent. No words needed to be said for
Shouyou to feel the heated rage that rolled of his dad’s body in thick waves.
He held the sleeping Natsu tighter to him, only staring straight ahead. Shouyou
didn’t dare to make eye contact with his dad right now. That would be almost
certain death.
                                     -----
Tanaka was at home. He had come back from morning practice a few hours ago.
He’d spent another hour in his room, attempting to do his school work. But that
had ended in utter failure. Tanaka’s thoughts were too muddled and confused.
All he could think about was the worrying absence of Hinata that morning. From
over hearing Daichi and Tsukishima’s conversation before practice, it was clear
that something about Hinata was troubling the third years--and the blond middle
blocker (surprisingly). That alone cause Tanaka to worry even more than he was
before. Now, the thought of something terrible happening to Hinata would leave
his head.
In a sad attempt to clear his head, Tanaka made his way downstairs. As he came
into his living room, the couch was all too tempting and Tanaka couldn’t help
but to collapse over the couch. The second year groaned into the soft cushion,
his legs dangling over the armrest. “Ryu, is that you?” A girlish voice called
from the kitchen. A young woman with short blonde hair and rounded brown eyes
stepped into the now occupied living room. “Ryu? What are you doing?” The woman
asked, placing her hands on her hips.
“Nee-san.” Tanaka whined, rolling to sit up. The frown on the high schooler’s
face made it easy to see that something was wrong.
“What’s wrong Ryu?” The woman, Saeko, questioned. She sat beside her brother,
eyebrows furrowed with slight worry. This was Tanaka after all. He was an
overall energetic and boisterous person. Today, though Tanaka seemed to be in a
bad mood. More like, Tanaka was having an off day. So Saeko comfortingly placed
her hand on her younger brother’s shoulder to get him to relax a bit.
“It’s Hinata.” Tanaka frowned, scrunching his eyebrows at the suddenly
forbidden name.
“Hinata? The little ginger spitfire, right?” Saeko questioned. She received a
subtle nod from Tanaka. “What about him?”
Tanaka sighed, leaning forward and pressing his elbows into his knees. He ran
his hands over his head and sighed. “The past couple of weeks, Hinata’s been
weird. Like, scary weird. It’s got the whole team on edge.”
Saeko frowned upon hearing this. She’s met Hinata before. When she had driven
the ginger and the other kid down to Tokyo to get the two to their training
camp. Hinata was a fun and amusing kid. In a way, he was like a second brother
to Saeko. Even though she’s only seen him once. “What’s weird about him?” Saeko
hesitated just a bit.
“He’s not himself anymore.” Tanaka stated slowly, as if he himself was unsure.
“He’s not jumping around or yelling. Hell, I can’t even remember the last time
Hinata smiled.” Tanaka’s voice cracked at the last sentence. “He stopped
talking to the team, to his classmates. He was pulled off of the starting
lineup because he’s been coming to school exhausted. It gets worse everyday.
The circles under his eyes and his skin get paler everyday.” Saeko gasped, but
Tanaka continued to speak. “And earlier this week, we found his body all
bruised up and-and..It was horrible. Like, who’d hurt Hinata like that?”
“Ryu..”
“It’s infuriating because after that, Hinata just fled. He ran away and we
couldn’t get ahold of him. The next day he came to school like nothing
happened. Like we hadn’t just caught him with his torso all bloodied and
bruised. And none of us could bring ourselves to ask how he’d gotten them.”
Tears flooded over Tanaka’s cheeks and his voice cracked with every other word.
Saeko pulled her brother into her, running her right hand over his head and
cheek. “But the third years seem to know something. They won’t tell the rest of
us thought. Something about what they think being assumptions. I get that
though. I-I just want Hinata back. I’m worried for him, nee-san. H-he won’t
talk to me though. H-he just--”
“Shh, Ryu.” Saeko hushed her brother. She hummed and let Tanaka cry into her
shoulder. Usually she would tell her brother to man up and do something. But
she wouldn’t say that this time because this wasn’t the time. Her brother was
hurting and needed to vent, and she would be there for him to lean on.
It took more than a few minutes for Tanaka to calm down again. His stressful
cries reducing down into slow and long breaths of air. It was quiet between the
two siblings for another minute. “Hey.” Saeko started, “You okay now?”
“Yeah, I guess.” Tanaka muttered.
“I’m sorry about what’s happening with your friend.” Saeko whispered. “But you
can’t force him to tell you something he’s not ready to share.”
Tanaka leaned away and looked at his sister. “I know that. But I feel so
useless. I can’t do anything to help him and he’s suffering by himself.”
Saeko turned and gripped Tanaka’s face in between her two hands. “I know it’s
hard Ryu, but the best thing you can do right now is make sure he know that he
has someone to go to when he’s ready.” The young woman stated. “Often times
that’s where people go wrong. They’re too caught up worry about what could
happen, that they forget to act. And when the person suffering is ready to tell
someone, no one is there for them.” Saeko smiled, “So be sure that Hinata knows
you’re there for him. Okay?”
“Yes, nee-san.” Tanaka smiled back. “Thanks.”
“No problem, little bro.” Saeko chuckled, and stood. “I’m making dinner right
now. Why don’t you pick us up some dessert for after?” She suggested with a
cheeky grin. Tanaka rolled his eyes and stood.
“Then lend me some money.” He grinned at the blonde haired girl. “Ah, you
little brat.” Saeko reached up to pinch Tanaka’s cheek. She sighed and turned
to her back that sat on the living room table. “Here.”
Tanaka took the money that was offered to him and grabbed his coat. “I’ll be
back soon then.”
                                     -----
Tanaka walked down to the closest convenience store to his home. The little
chime went off as the automatic doors slid open. Instantly, Tanaka was hit by a
wave of cool air. He thanked god that he remembered to grab his jacket before
leaving his place. Tanaka walked further into the little mart and toward the
back where the drinks and ice creams were.
As Tanaka was conflicted by which kind of ice cream he should get, the store
chime went off again when more people entered the store. Tanaka didn’t bother
to turn. He was currently conflicted between choosing two different ice creams.
One was strawberry, which was Saeko’s favorite, and the other was mango,
Tanaka’s favorite. After a quick self-debate and recounting his money, Tanaka
just decided to get both. He opened the fridge to pull the snacks out when
someone bumped into him.
“Sorry ‘bout that.” A gruff voice spoke. Tanaka turned and shook his head.
Passing by him were three men that were heading toward the alcohol. One of them
was wearing a blood red t-shirt, black jeans, and a black leather jacket.
Another was where a plain white t-shirt and regular blue jeans. And the third
had a yellow tank top with green letters that spelt out something provocative
in English, and tan khakis. Tanaka shrugged his shoulders and went to pull out
his desired snacks again. He gathered the two tubs of ice cream into his arms
and winced at the cold touching his forearms.
The second year was about to make his way toward the cash register to pay for
his items, when he heard something disturbing from the three men in the alcohol
aisle. “Yeah, Hinata said he’d let us see his new favorite toy.” Tanaka stopped
to blink. He paused in the chip aisle, trying to make it look like he was still
browsing, as he eavesdropped on the adult’s conversation. Lately he’s been
doing this a lot. “Said it was real good, and compliant.” The one in the white
continued.
“Can’t wait to punish them. Hinata said they’d been breaking the rules lately.”
The one in yellow smirked.
“That’s the thing about kids these days. They don’t listen to their parents and
think they know everything. Fucking little shits.” The one in red growled,
grabbing a case of beer from the fridge.
“Hey, more fun for us right? Especially since Hinata’s offering. The guy was
always a dick. Never liked sharing.” The man in yellow crossed his arms over
his chest and rolled his eyes.
“Well there’s a first for everything.” The one in white shrugged. “We better
start heading over.”
With that, the three men bought their beer and left.
Tanaka blanched, stepping out from behind the aisle he was taking cover in.
Quickly, he made his purchases and tried to see if he could spot those three
men. They didn’t get far, only around the corner from the convenience store.
Tanaka tried to be as discreet as possible, following those suspicious men. It
made him feel even worse when he noticed the direction they were heading.
It was up the steep hill, where Hinata traveled home everyday.
Something didn’t sit right with Tanaka. And he pulled out his phone, snapping
quick pictures of the three guys. And it was only minutes later did Tanaka’s
stomach drop. The three men disappeared into Hinata’s house. Now he, himself,
has never been to his auburn haired junior’s house, but it wasn’t exactly hard
to figure out that the house he was standing in front of was Hinata’s.
Especially since the surname was tagged on the house’s mailbox. As quick as he
could, Tanaka snapped a picture of the three men entering Hinata’s house and of
a ginger haired man that had answered the door.
He ducked away and ran back home. He had some calls to make.
                                     -----
As the Hinata’s arrived at home, the first year teen boy carried his younger
sister upstairs to his room. He laid down Natsu upon his bed and tucked her in
tightly under his white comforter. Leaning down, he placed a lingering kiss
amongst her forehead. Once Shouyou was sure that she would not stir from her
slumber, he exited his room. Shouyou went back downstairs, where his dad was
most likely waiting in the living room with an already opened bottle of beer.
It was better for Shouyou to go get his punishment now, rather than having his
dad come find him because then the punishment you just be even worse.
Shouyou stepped into his living room, only to see that his dad wasn’t around.
There was a loud slam from behind Shouyou, who practically jumped out of his
skin. There were repeated thunks that came from the direction of the kitchen,
and Shouyou was hesitant to investigate the sound. The teen slowly walked
toward his kitchen, toward the loud grunts that turned into soul-shattering
screams. Before Shouyou could enter the kitchen, there was a loud knocking on
the front door. Shouyou was shoved into the wall, as his father pushed past him
and to the door. Shouyou winced, rubbing his lower back and shoulders. The teen
shivered. Shouyou had a bad feeling, as his dad pulled the front door open.
Shouyou’s dad grunted, before he laughed sinisterly and opening the door wider.
Shouyou froze. Three other men entered his home. They were big and muscular.
And Shouyou definitely didn’t trust those malicious smirks that stretched
across their lips as they laid eyes on him. Shouyou flinched, turning his eyes
to the ground. Somewhere in the back of his head, he knew that this was his
punishment. The four men chattered and laughed for a moment. “Shouyou.” Said
boy flinched again and caught the hazel eyes of his dad staring at him. “Get us
some beers, will you?” The older ginger grunted, leading his friends into the
living room. Shouyou bit his lip, quickly turning to the kitchen.
The teen opened the recently bought, stainless steel refrigerator. What was
inside didn’t shock Shouyou. There was little to no food within the fridge. The
shelves were stacked and tightly packed with different beers, both in the cans
and in the bottles. Shouyou didn’t know what to grab, so he took four of the
bottles that were closest. He shut the fridge with his shoulder, and scurried
into the living room. He found his dad chatting loudly about something that
Shouyou didn’t necessarily care about. So he tuned them out. Shouyou moved to
the small living room table that sat caged in between three couches and the
entertainment stand. The young high school student set the four bottle on the
table, one in front of his father and each of the three other men.
“So I heard about your mom, kid.” Shouyou jumped at the voice that was suddenly
addressing him. Shouyou turned ever so slowly toward the man behind him.
Excluding his own father, this man was the tallest. When Shouyou fully faced
the man with shaggy brown hair and a loose red t-shirt, Shouyou froze at how
the man’s eyes darkened into something similar to lust. “Sorry to hear about
that.”
“It’s fine..” Shouyou managed to mutter, turning away from the adult. The teen
turned to exist his living room, hoping that his punishment would be forgotten
since his father’s friends were over tonight.
“Don’t think I forgot about you, Shouyou.” The familiar gruff voice of the
eldest Hinata rang. Shouyou stopped stiff, going rigid and a quick chill
running down his spine. “You broke the rules again.” Shouyou’s dad continued.
Suddenly, the ginger haired boy felt his father’s unforgettable presence
directly behind him. “I keep warning you, and punishing you. Still, no matter
how much I do that, you don’t seem to get the point. So, I asked some of my
friends here to help me with your punishment.” Shouyou bit his lips and tears
welled up in his eyes. He knew it after all. He knew he wasn’t lucky enough for
his father to forget. Shouyou turned around to face the father he’s never
known, who was towering over him.
Shouyou couldn’t even form words at this point. He tried his best to ask his
father for forgiveness, but the words couldn’t make it past his lips. His
vision blurred as his father moved away from his and three other figures took
his place. Hands reached out, grabbing his arms, wrists, and hair. Whimpers
were the only noise that escaped from Shouyou’s mouth. But even as his shirt
was harshly torn from his body, all the ginger could hope for was that Natsu
wouldn’t wake up. He didn’t want his sister to hear anything that happened
tonight. “Wah.” A voice sighed, as fingers wrapped around Shouyou’s cheeks.
“You have such a pretty face for a boy. You’re almost like a little girl.” The
man chuckled. He was the shortest of the four men in the room, wearing a yellow
tank top with some unreadable green print across the chest. “I can almost
imagine you as a girl. A pretty little high school girl with those pretty pink
lips around my cock.” At that, he pressed an open mouthed kiss to Shouyou’s
lips. The ginger teen flinched and struggled against the man’s tight grip.
To Shouyou’s right was a groan, it had come from the last man of the three
unexpected guests, with messy black hair and a white t-shirt. But Shouyou’s
attention couldn’t be averted to him, as the man in the yellow tank top pushed
his tongue into Shouyou’s mouth. Shouyou wanted to gag as the hot muscle
pressed against the roof of his mouth and the insides of his cheeks. Two other
pairs of hands roamed across Shouyou’s bare chest, brushing over his hardened
nipples and his stomach. Each and every one of their hands were rough and
calloused and much bigger than Shouyou’s own hands. They shamelessly groped and
tugged, roaming their thick, stubby fingers over Shouyou’s pale skin. Tears
pricked at the corners of the red headed boy’s brown colored eyes.
The body of the man in the red t-shirt pressed his chest to Shouyou’s back,
nipping at the outer shell of the teen’s left ear. His breath was hot, and
smelled rancid. Shouyou cringed, shutting his eyes tight. The man’s hands
traveled up the boy’s body and pressed his fingers into the divots between
Shouyou’s ribcage. His hands stopped to pull, pinch, and press on Shouyou’s
nipples. The gingers squirmed. Another pair of hands--the man in white--felt
their way down to the hem of Hinata’s sweats. “Look how hard you already are,
kid.” The wretched man snickered, and forcefully tugged down the elastic of the
pants. Shouyou was left in his boxers, but the paper towels that covered his
cuts had fallen to the floor. And the man laughed loudly. “Look! The kid cut
himself!”
Suddenly each of the strangers bellowed, their laughs bouncing off the walls.
“Your son’s such a pussy!” The man in yellow cackled, looking back at the amber
haired man that was lazily draped across his couch, pants down and stroking
himself. The older Hinata snorted in acknowledgement.
“Awe, guys. You made the kid cry.” The man in red grabbed Shouyou’s tear
streaked cheeks and tilted the teen’s head back. “Looks like we hurt the kid’s
feelings.”
“Don’t worry boy. We’ll make you feel good in a sec.” The one in white spoke
nonchalantly, as he stood up. “Get to your knees kid. Imma teach you how to
give a proper blowjob.” The man in yellow grabbed Shouyou’s shoulder and pushed
him down to his knees. Shouyou groaned, staring up at the three men with wide,
fearful eyes.
“Damn, he’s pretty cute when he’s terrified.” One said and the others agreed.
Without any warning, the one in white shoved his cock through Shouyou’s
gasping, parted lips. The boy gagged around the thick girth of the dick in his
mouth. And the tears started again. The man started thrusting roughly, grabbing
the back of Shouyou’s head and pulling the teen into every thrust. “Fuck. So
good.” The man in white groaned and tilted his head back, consumed by the
pleasure.
“Fucker. Don’t keep all the fun to yourself.” The one in red complained, with a
hard punch to the latter’s shoulder.
The one in yellow rolled his eyes and pulled Shouyou’s hips to stand. “You two
can argue over the hole over there. I’ll be taking this.” He grinned, palms
pressed flat against Shouyou’s ass. “Damn.” He pulled his right hand back and
landed a harsh smack to the pale skin. Almost instantly, a red hue in the shape
of a hand began to appear. Shouyou whined and groaned over the cock of the man
in the red t-shirt. The man moaned loudly, pulling the ginger haired boy’s face
closer and coming. The man in yellow continued to smack Shouyou with a wide,
sadistic grin spread across his lips. Once he was satisfied by the bright red
of Shouyou’s ass, he lined himself up and thrust forward in a quick motion.
Shouyou’s scream was muffled, but loud nonetheless.
“Shut the fuck up Shouyou!!” The boy’s father growled, hand still wrapped
around himself. His piercing blue eyes were narrowed dangerously at Shouyou.
But the teen didn’t notice, with his eyes clamped shut. The thrusts continued,
fucking Shouyou into the man in front of him.
At that moment, Shouyou wanted to kill himself. He didn’t want to be alive
anymore. If this was all that awaited him with each passing day, Shouyou didn’t
want to be on Earth anymore. The only reason he was putting up with all of this
was because of Natsu’s sake. He didn’t want his father, or these disgusting men
laying their hands on his baby sister. But just for a second, Shouyou forgot
about Natsu. He was suffering so much, that he forgot about his reason. All he
wanted to do was kill himself. His mind was set on that.
Hinata Shouyou was done with being alive.
                                     -----
Shouyou had blacked out at some point. He didn’t remember much details of what
happened--thank god. But he did remember the overall forbidden acts that taken
place. He groaned when his body twitched. It was painful to move. The auburn
haired child looked around the dark room; he was still in his living room, on
the cold, hard floor. It was then that Shouyou felt the sticky liquid that he
lie in, as well as covered him. It was disgusting. Shouyou moved his fingers.
Then his arms. Until he could lift his upper body out of the mess beneath him.
He looked around his living room. It was dark and empty. His dad was nowhere to
be seen, and neither were the other three. Shouyou thanked his lucky star. He
didn’t want to deal with any other them wanting to go another several rounds.
Shouyou looked at the clock on the wall, counting in his head. It was thirty
minutes after midnight.
How long had he been passed out?
Shouyou didn’t bother trying to figure it out. Instead he struggled to pull
himself up onto his feet. Shouyou whimpered at the excruciating pain that shot
up his spine. He stumbled and dropped to his knee and a dull thump. Tears
formed and blurred the dark room into a mass of murky colors. Shouyou had to
bite his lip in order to keep the painful cries from escaping. He regulated his
breathing, taking in one slow puff of air at a time. When Shouyou was confident
that he could stand again without falling, he moved to support himself onto his
hands. Then Shouyu lifted himself onto his feet. And as slowly as possible,
Shouyou stood. The pain shot up his back again, but this time he was prepared
and didn’t collapse.
Cold air blew past Shouyou’s bare body and he shivered. Not bothering with the
mess of thick white liquid on the floor, Shouyou moved to the stairs. Slowly.
Painfully. It was agonizing. It hurt so much that Shouyou had to do a number of
breathing exercises in between each step. Eventually, though, the teen made it
to the top of the stairs. He glanced toward his room. The door was shut and
seemingly unbothered. Shouyou relaxed a bit. And as much as he wanted to really
check and make sure that Natsu was okay, Shouyou made his way to the bathroom.
He grabbed his towel and lightly wiped his body. The smell was unbearable and
Shouyou had to crinkle his nose.
He tried to keep himself from looking in the mirror, but before he could stop
himself, Shouyou had already met the eyes of his reflection. Shouyou clenched
his jaw, wincing from the momentary pain. Bruises were everywhere. It wasn’t
really surprising, but Shouyou blanched at the sight of himself. He was covered
in black, green, and purple spots. The parts that weren’t bruised were a bright
red color instead, probably from open-handed slapping or biting. Then there was
his hair, stuck together in clumps from dried cum.
At that moment, Hinata craved the pain that he inflicted at the hospital. The
sting in his hip had disappeared, covered up by the fact that his whole body
was aching. Hinata craved to relish in that little moment of self control
again. Almost like he was in a trance, Hinata dug around under the bathroom
sink. He looked for anything sharp that could possibly help satisfy this odd
craving. It took a minute, but all the way in the back of the cupboard was a
pack of razors. Shouyou barely noticed the small smile that had stretched
across his lips as he worked his way to stand again.
Before Shouyou could open the pack, there was a creaking of a door from down
the hallway. Instantly Shouyou froze, thinking that it was his dad. “Nii-chan?”
A tiny, tired voice whispered into the dark hall. Shouyou was relieved that it
was only his sister. He poked his head out into the hallway, seeing Natsu stand
in the doorway of his bedroom.
“It’s me, Natsu.” Shouyou announced in a hushed voice.
Natsu went to moved toward her older brother, but Shouyou was quick to stop
her. “What’s wrong, Nii-chan?” The young girl frowned, jutting her bottom lip
out.
“Nothing Natsu. I haven’t changed my clothes.” Shouyou answered carefully. “Can
you bring me a new pair please?” Natsu tilted her head, before nodding. Her
tiny figure disappeared back into Shouyou’s room. Shouyou backed away from the
door and looked down at the pack of razors in his hands. The temptation was
still there. Shouyou silently debated with himself. Instead he settled for
opening the new pack and taking one to tuck away for later use.
Just as Shouyou had put the pack away, there was a quiet call of his name from
just outside the bathroom door. Shouyou turned away from the razor that sat on
the sink counter and cracked the door open. Natsu stood out in the dark
hallway, eyes shut tight and her arms extended with Shouyou’s clothes in her
grip. “After I’m done changing Natsu, let’s leave.” Shouyou suggested, taking
his clothes. Natsu slowly opened her right eye, and peeked up at her older
brother.
“Leave?” She whispered.
“Yeah.” Shouyou smiled softly. “Leave. Leave here.”
“To go where, Nii-chan?” The young child questioned.
“Anywhere, but here.” Shouyou had answered, before retreating to pull his
clothes on.
                                     -----
Shouyou had done it.
He had left the house.
It was too late to turn back. Their house had long disappeared into the night.
When Shouyou and Natsu had left, it had been almost one thirty in the morning.
Both of the Hinata children had a backpack strapped to their backs, packed with
bare necessities--like a few clothes and toiletries. Natsu had also taken the
pictures she’d drawn for her mom and brother, along with two of her favorite
toys that her two family member had bought for her.
Shouyou had no idea where he was leading his sister. He had no clue where to
go. The two siblings were just walking. And with every step Shouyou took, it
was like a giant weight lifting off of his shoulders. And at the same time, it
was his legs threatening to buckle underneath him. With a pained sigh, Shouyou
gripped Natsu’s hand tighter. “Are you sure you’re okay, Nii-chan?” The small
girl asked her older brother. Shouyou gave her a tight lipped smile and waver
her off, too busy concentrating on his breathing. “Should we stop?” Natsu tried
again, but Shouyou shook his head. “Nii-chan.” The girl whined with worry
lacing her voice.
“I’m fine Natsu.” Shouyou tried to reassure his sister, but the girl wasn’t
having it.
Natsu started to cry. “No you’re not Nii-chan! You’re hurt!” She crossed her
arms and stomped her feet. “You’re hurt because you’re always protecting me,
nii-chan!”
Shouyou froze, staring down at his sister with eyes blown wide. “N-Natsu..” But
the girl kept crying. She spoke words that became incoherent due to her loud
bawling. “Hey, hey. It’s okay.” Shouyou struggled to kneel in front of his baby
sister. He ran his fingers through her hair and hummed when she leaned into his
touch. “I protect you because it’s my job as your big brother. Isn’t it?”
Natsu shook her head. “But you’re too hurt.”
Shouyou smiled. “Because I don’t want to see you hurt, Natsu.” Natsu wrapped
her arms around her brother’s neck and sobbed into him. She whined and
sputtered out pointless ‘I’m sorry’s, to which Shouyou responded by petting her
hair and kissing her temple. He shushed her, until her crying quieted. Shouyou
leaned back and grinned as best as he could. “Better?” he asked.
“Better.” Natsu gave a shaky smile and nodded her head.
“Good. Let’s get go--” Shouyou stopped midway and nausea flooded over him. His
head started to hurt and his vision blurred in and out.
Then the world started tilting.
“Nii-chan!!”
Chapter End Notes
     Sorry for the late update!! :( In return, I hope you all enjoyed the
     long chapter. More to come!! Be prepared!
     Comment what you think please, and let me know how I'm doing. Also
     Comment what you think will happen next!
     TY! TY! ;)
***** Confessions *****
Chapter Notes
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
     Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression,
     Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harassment
     (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to
     be added)
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
“Iwa-chan, it’s cold tonight. Don’t you think?”
“Shut up Shittykawa. Deal with it. You’re the one that woke me up and dragged
me to the convenience store to go get some damn ramen at almost two in the
fucking morning.”
“You’re so mean Iwa-chan.”
The two high school students from Aoba Josai walked down the street in the
chilly night. Oikawa, the setter and current captain of the famous Aoba Josai
volleyball team, shivered and pushed his shoulders up to his ears. A small
white bag hung loosely around Oikawa’s right elbow. His companion, Iwaizumi,
walked to the setter’s left and yawned. “Why the hell are you even up at this
time Oikawa? Just because we have no practice tomorrow, doesn’t mean you can be
pulling all nighters.”
“If I didn’t know any better Iwa-chan, I’d think you actually cared about me.”
Oikawa snickered behind his hand. Iwaizumi scoffed and rose his hand in a
feeble threat to hit the third year setter. “And I was reviewing volleyball
videos. I kinda lost track of time, and I hadn’t eaten dinner yet.”
“And the first thing you do is wake me up?” Iwaizumi narrowed his brown eyes,
while his childhood friend shrugged.
“Frankly, I’m surprised you even answered Iwa-chan.” Oikawa smiled softly in a
rare moment of sincerity. “Thanks for coming out here with me.”
Iwaizumi shrugged his shoulders this time, “Whatever. Besides, if I didn’t, who
know what you might do to some poor woman on the street.”
“MEAN!” Oikawa screeched at the ace. “I would never do something like that Iwa-
chan!” The brunette haired setter continued to screech and whine, chasing after
his friend.
“NII-CHAN!” A shrill scream shattered the light hearted teasing between the two
third years from Aoba Josai. Iwaizumi and Oikawa froze, completely stopping in
there tracks. The two friends looked at one another, as if to confirm with the
other that they both heard the same thing. Soon after the surprising scream of
what seemed to be a child, worried sobs and whines wafted the air.
Oikawa and Iwaizumi couldn’t help the sudden panic that began to swell in their
chest. Who wouldn’t be panicked after hearing the heart wrenching cry? With
another glance toward one another, Iwaizumi led the way and followed to sounds
of the whining.
The two friends didn’t have to go very far, just down a couple blocks and
around the corner. They froze at the sight they saw a few feet away. Just a few
feet down the path was a body clumped to the floor and a small girl crying,
while shaking their shoulders. “Nii-chan! Nii-chan!” She kept shaking the
person’s shoulders.
“Hajime.” Oikawa called. It was rare that the brunette referred to his friend
by his first name. So when Oikawa called out to him, Iwaizumi knew that the
setter was serious. The ace nodded his head back, and the two slowly approached
the crying child. “Little girl.” Oikawa called softly, stopping a foot away
from the startled child. Now that he was closer, Oikawa saw the girl’s
strikingly bright auburn locks and glowing gold eyes. It reminded him of
someone. “Little girl. Are you okay? What happened?” Oikawa questioned softly,
not breaking eye contact with the child.
“M-my nii-chan.” She sniffled through her sobs and coughs. “He..he’s hurt.”
“Hurt?” Iwaizumi muttered under his breath somewhere behind Oikawa.
“My name is Tooru, and this is my friend, Hajime.” Oikawa first motioned to
himself, then to the ace that appeared to his right. “We want to help you and
your nii-chan. Is that okay?” He asked carefully. The girl blinked through her
bleary eyes and sniffled again.
She opened her mouth to say something. “You won’t hurt nii-chan?”
“We promise.” Iwaizumi spoke this time. His voice was in a quiet whisper and
his eyes were soft.
The girl nodded her head and tried to give a shaky smile. “I’m Natsu.” She
whispered. The two high school students took that as their cue to come forward.
Oikawa moved besides the girl, petting her head and reassuring her that they’d
be gentle with her brother. Iwaizumi bent over the unconscious figure and
reached out. Seconds before touching the body, Iwaizumi froze. Something
dropped at the bottom of his stomach. He had a bad feeling about this. With
clenched teeth and a short exhale, Iwaizumi lifted the small body up and turned
the person to face him.
“Oh shit.” Iwaizumi cursed. His eyes were wide, staring at the boy in his arms.
The ginger hair was unmistakingly that of a small middle blocker from Karasuno.
But at the same time, Iwaizumi was having a hard time believing that this small
boy was that bright child from a rival school. This Hinata was pale, almost a
deathly pale. His eyes were sunken in and circled by dark purple marks. Black
bruises littered his jawline and down his neck. Iwaizumi didn’t even want to
think what other wounds and marks could be beneath Hinata’s clothes. “Oikawa.”
The wing spiker called.
Oikawa turned away from Natsu, who was cradled in his arms. “What is it--” The
brunette couldn’t even finish his sentence, as Iwaizumi turned Hinata’s fragile
frame toward him. “Ch-chibi-chan?” Oikawa gasped.
“You know nii-chan?” Natsu squirmed from Oikawa’s grip and looked up at the
tall third year setter. “You’ll help him right?” Her eyes glossed over with
tears at the thought of Oikawa and Iwaizumi leaving.
Oikawa whipped his head back down to the small girl. “No! No!” He pet Natsu’s
soft ginger locks. “Of course we’re still going to help your brother.” He
reassured, sending a nod to his friend. “We need to get a hold of Karasuno.”
“Yeah.” Iwaizumi agreed. He adjusted his grip on the unconscious first year,
slipping his left arm under Hinata’s knees and his right under Hinata’s head.
Hinata’s head lulled to the side. That alone seemed to scare Oikawa and
Iwaizumi. It made it feel more real. Hinata really was injured. And they had
found him passed out on the street and his little sister screaming. Not to
mention it was two o’clock in the morning. What were they even doing out at
this time? Iwaizumi shook his head to keep himself level headed. He couldn’t
panic right now. “First we need to get Hinata and Natsu somewhere safe.”
“My place. It closer than yours.” Oikawa offered, picking up Natsu and resting
her on his hip. The girl whimpered and tightly wrapped her arms around Oikawa’s
neck. “Let’s head there and get a hold of Karasuno.”
The two nodded at each other in mutual understanding, and they ran back to
Oikawa’s house.
                                     -----
It didn’t take long to reach the setter’s house. Just under five minutes, since
they had ran.
Oikawa hurried to unlock the door and swung it open for Iwaizumi to carry
Hinata inside. The two were completely uncaring for the door that harshly hit
the wall, and the loud  thud  that reverberated throughout the previously
silent house. Iwaizumi moved past Oikawa and into the living room, while the
latter slammed the door shut and rushed after the wing spiker. Iwaizumi kneeled
down besides the couch and placed Hinata down as carefully as possible. The
young boy was unaffected by his body being jostled.
“Is nii-chan okay?” Natsu whimpered, being placed down on the couch
perpendicular to her brother. Her gold eyes were glassy with I shed tears and
Oikawa moved away from her.
“We’ll check him right now, Natsu-chan.” The setter tried to smile as normally
as possible.
“Tooru? What are you doing? What’s with all the noise?” A feminine voice came
from the stairs. Oikawa sounds around, and went toward the older woman.
“Mom, a friend is hurt and unconscious. What do we do?” The third year teen
asked. His mom worked at the hospital and had a lot of experience working in
the Emergency Room. The woman’s eyes widened, the sleep suddenly gone.
“Hurt? Where?” She asked curtly, stepping beside her son. Oikawa motioned with
his head toward Iwaizumi, who was knelt beside a long couch. The woman nodded
her head and headed toward the boy she knew just as well as her own. “Hajime-
kun.” She called, coming around the couch and kneeling beside the raven haired
teen. “I’ll handle it.” Iwaizumi was hesitant, but moved aside for the
experienced woman to take charge.
“Excuse me?” Oikawa’s mother was startled by the childish voice and the tiny
hand that tugged on her shirt. “Will my brother be okay?” She turned her head
and was met by Natsu’s rounded brown eyes and stunningly bright orange curls.
The woman smiled softly. “Are you his sister?”
Natsu hummed, “My name is Natsu.”
“Well then, Natsu. I’m sure your brother is just fine.” The older woman smiled
ever so softly, as not to startle the girl. “I’m just going to make sure that
he’s really okay and that he’ll wake up soon okay?” Natsu nodded her head and
her curls bounced. “Are you hungry? Thirsty, Natsu?”
“Just a bit thirsty, ma’am.” The flaming haired girl muttered politely.
“Come with me Natsu-chan.” Oikawa called. “I’ll get you some juice.” Oikawa
called the girl with a tight smile. Natsu took the older teen’s hand and walked
with the setter into the neighboring room.
Oikawa’s mother turned back to the ginger haired boy that lie unconscious on
her living room couch. Just by looking at him, she could tell that he was
injured badly. But she couldn’t tell Natsu that. “Hajime-kun, help me pull his
shirt off. I need to see the extent of the damage.” She spoke softly. Iwaizumi
nodded his head and lifted Hinata’s torso off of the couch, while his best
friend’s mom slipped the ginger’s shirt off. The two inhaled sharply at the
sight that was revealed.
Hinata was nearly skin and bones. His ribs practically protruding through his
black and blue skin. “What the fuck..” Iwaizumi cursed, setting Hinata’s head
back onto the couch. “Who..Who would--?” The teen growled, clenching his fists
and tightening his jaw. “Will he really be okay, Oikawa-san?”
The woman had never seen Iwaizumi look so helpless. He was always so head
strong and bold. Now, he looked like a kid again. “I-I can’t tell the extent of
the damage. We might need to take him to the hospital.” She paused to think for
a second. “Do you know what happened to him?”
“No. We just heard Natsu screaming and found Hinata already unconscious on the
floor.” Iwaizumi summarized. “We were thinking of calling his teammates. They’d
probably know what’s happening.”
“Go do that then. I need to know what happened.” The woman ordered and Iwaizumi
rushed off. “What in the world could a high school boy and his kid sister be
doing out so late?” She whispered to herself.
Iwaizumi had just stepped into the kitchen. Oikawa was walking around the
vicinity, bouncing a sleeping Natsu on his hip. “She okay?”
Oikawa jumped at the sound of his best friend’s voice. The brunette spun
around. “Oh, Iwa-chan. You scared me. But yeah, I think Natsu-chan is okay.
She’s really worried about Chibi-chan. How is he, by the way?”
“Not good. It’s worse than we thought.” Iwaizumi growled again at the thought
of Hinata’s bruised body. “Your mom says we might need to take him to the
hospital. But for now, she said we should try to get ahold of Karasuno. See if
they know anything.”
“Okay. Let me take Natsu upstairs first.” Oikawa quickly retreated out the door
and up the stairs. It took less than five minutes before the brunette returned
with his cell phone in hand. “I have Sawamura’s number. We exchanged it after
our first practice match with them, for the sake of future practice matches.”
Oikawa scrolled through his contacts until he found the desired name. He
pressed the ‘call’ button and put it on speaker.
The loud ring echoed throughout the silent kitchen once, then twice.
Then there was a drowsy answer.
“Hello?”
“Sawamura, it’s Oikawa.”
“Oikawa? Why are you calling at...three in the morning?” Daichi’s voice came
through the phone.
“It’s important Sawamura. It’s about Chibi-chan.” Suddenly there was a bunch of
noise on the other end of the line. Iwaizumi and Oikawa patiently waited.
“Hinata? What’s wrong?” Daichi asked. He sounded more alert. Oikawa and
Iwaizumi couldn’t understand the sudden drop of his voice.
“Sawamura? It’s Iwaizumi.” The wing spiker said, taking Oikawa’s phone from the
latter’s hand. Iwaizumi took a few moments to explain what happened over the
course of the last couple hours. “Oikawa’s mom is checking Hinata right now.
But she’s not sure about the damage and says that we might need to get him to
the hospital. We were wondering if you knew anything.”
The other end was silent. It took a few minutes for Daichi to respond. “Promise
me you’ll get Hinata whatever help he needs.”
“Of course.” The two students from Aoba Josai said in unison.
“I’ll speak with you guys in person. Let me know what hospital you’re going
to.” Daichi said hurriedly. “I’ll gather some of my teammates and we’ll all
speak.”
“Right.” Iwaizumi agreed. “We’ll see you soon, then.”
                                     -----
Frankly, this was a horrible way to start his Sunday.
Daichi had gotten an early morning call from Oikawa and Iwaizumi. He had been
told that they currently have Hinata and his little sister. Hinata was hurt
badly and Oikawa’s mother was taking them all to the hospital.
Daichi wasted no time in throwing on some sweats and a t-shirt. All the while,
he started scrolling through his contacts to set up a group call. In this group
call, Daichi was including Sugawara, Asahi, Kiyoko, Tsukishima, and Tanaka.
Once all of the people were selected, Daichi put the call through. The dial
rang a couple of times and one by one Daichi started hear the tired groans of
his friends being woken up at an ungodly hour.
 “Daichi?” Sugawara yawned through the phone. “Why’re you calling me at this
hour?”
“Daichi-san? Suga-san?” Tanaka groaned into the line.
“What’s going on guys?” Asahi spoke quietly into the speaker.
“Is there something wrong, Daichi?” Kiyoko’s voice broke through the anger
murmurs of Daichi’s male friends.
“This better be good, Daichi-san. I don’t take kindly to being woken up our day
off. Especially at three in the morning.” Tsukishima grumbled.
Once Daichi had confirmed that all of his friends were on, Daichi spoke. “Guys,
this is an emergency. I just got off of the phone with Iwaizumi and Oikawa.
They found Hinata unconscious outside while on their way home a couple of hours
ago.” Daichi paused at the numerous gasps. “They’re taking him, and his little
sister to the hospital right now. His injuries are bad, from what they said.
Worse than before, I’m guessing. If you all can, I’d like you guys to meet up
at the hospital right now.”
“Of course. I’ll be leaving my house soon.” Sugawara spoke first. There was a
bunch of noise coming from his end of the call line.
“Is he okay?” Asahi questioned. “You said that Oikawa and Iwaizumi found Hinata
passed out outside? Why would he be outside, especially around one in the
morning?”
Daichi frowned at the questions. Mostly because he wasn’t sure and he wanted
those questions answered himself as well. “I don’t know Asahi. But I’m on close
to the hospital now, and I’ll be meeting with Oikawa soon.”
“You don’t think this has something to do with his dad?” Kiyoko hesitated to
contribute. She hoped she was wrong. “We may not have any solid evidence, but
we’re all confirming the same thing. Hinata’s being abused.”
“D-Daichi-san?” Tanaka spoke quietly. “I’ve got something to say. It’s even
more worrying, now that I’m thinking about it.”
“What’s wrong Tanaka?” Daichi paused in his hastened jog to the hospital. The
guilt underlining Tanaka’s voice was worrying.
Tanaka was silent for another second before speaking. “I went out last night,
maybe around seven or eight. I heard these three guys in the convenience store
by my house say Hinata’s name. But they weren’t talking about our Hinata. I
think they were talking about his dad..”
“What’d they say?” Sugawara’s voice reappeared.
“They said some disturbing stuff...Explicit and inappropriate things.” Tanaka’s
voice cracked, as the male shuddered. He let out a breathy sigh. “I was
worried, so I followed them and even got some pictures of them just in case.
They...they went to Hinata’s house.” There was a long minute of silence. No one
said anything. “God, I-I should’ve done something. What-what if they...Oh god.”
Tanaka’s slow breathing quickened into sharp gasps.
“Tanaka calm down.” Sugawara tried to soothe the second year as much as he
could through the phone. “Tanaka.” He called. “Tanaka. It’s okay.”
“But S-Suga-san, I--”
“It’s fine.” Sugawara reassured. “Just keep those pictures on your phone. Later
on, Asahi and I will go with you to that convenience store to see if we could
check out the security cameras.”
“Sugawara’s right. Keep those. It’s the only solid evidence we have right now.”
Daichi added. “I’m at the hospital.”
“I’m here. I see you Daichi-san.” Tsukishima voice echoed through the line, as
well as through Daichi’s line. “I’m hanging up.”
“I’m almost there too.” Kiyoko stated.
“Me too.” Sugawara added.
“I’ll be there in ten minutes.” Asahi spoke.
“I’ll be there in five.” Tanaka ended.
And the calls all disconnected.
                                     -----
Shouyou was in pain. Everything hurt. His head, neck, chest, stomach, spine,
legs. His ass.
It all hurt.
The first year tried to open his eyes and to relieve himself of the darkness
that surrounded him. It was hard though. It felt as if his eyelids were glued
shut. All he could really do was squeeze his eyes tighter together. But Shouyou
didn’t give up in trying to open his eyes.
When he finally got them open, it was bright. Too bright. The light he was
staring at hurt. It felt like we was blind. But then the lights dimmed, and
Shouyou could see. He was staring up at a white ceiling, with the bright LED
lights dimmed down for him. Shouyou scrunched his eyebrows together in
confusion. Where was he?
Shouyou was more than positive he’d left home. Obviously he wasn’t in his room
though, because his room didn’t have ceiling lights. His room had always been
illuminated by a floor lamp and his desk lamp. Shouyou opened his mouth to try
and say something, but a noise made him snap his mouth shut. He turned his head
and saw a person rising up from a seat beside the bed he was in. They got
closer and Shouyou wanted to jump away.
“Hinata.” It was Oikawa. The Grand King. Kageyama’s rival. What was he doing
here? Wherever ‘here’ was. “Thank god, you’re awake. Natsu was throwing a fit,
and my mom finally got her to sleep.” The older setter smiled softly.
Shouyou blinked. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Shouyou had started
coughing instead. The coughing hurt. It burned a hole in Shouyou’s chest and
spread to his stomach. Every muscle in his sore body tensed up and it hurt. The
ginger’s eyes glazed over in painful tears. Oikawa reached over, lifting
Shouyou into a seating position, and rubbed slow circles into the younger
teen’s back. Shouyou let him because the motion was soothing.
After Shouyou’s coughing fit had passed, Oikawa offered the former a small
paper cup filled with water. Shouyou took it gratefully with shaking hands.
Just to be sure that Shouyou didn’t spill any other the water, Oikawa’s hand
followed the cup to the younger boy’s mouth. Shouyou gulped down the water
greedily. “Thank you, Oikawa-san.” Shouyou murmured.
Oikawa smiled softly back. “You’re welcome.”
“You mentioned Natsu. Where is she?” Shouyou questioned. “What happened? Also,
where am I?” The words came out slow and confused.
“You’re at the hospital Hinata.” Oikawa started with a frown. “Natsu is with my
mom. She drove you here and she just took your sister back to the car so the
kid can sleep for a bit. As for what happened, I was hoping you could tell me
that.” Shouyou frowned back, turning his eyes away from the older teen.
“Hinata.” Oikawa called seriously. “We found you passed out on the street at
almost two in the morning. What happened?”
“I-” Hinata whimpered, but was cut off by the door to his room opening.
“Stop patronizing the poor kid, Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi reprimanded. “Hinata just
woke up.” The wing spiker turned his eyes to the ginger haired child in the
hospital bed. “Glad to finally see you up Hinata. Your friends are waiting out
in the hallway to speak with you, if you’re up for it.”
“Wh-who?” Shouyou was scared to ask.
 “Sawamura, Sugawara, the bearded guy, the baldy, Megane, and your manager.”
Iwaizumi listed off. And Shouyou stiffened at that. Those were the people he
especially did not want to see because it wouldn’t be hard for them to piece
everything together. They were all smart, well Tanaka when it counted.
Shouyou could feel his chest tighten and his breathing hasten. His head spun
and the room tilted into an array of muddled colors. Shouyou couldn’t breath
again. His left hands clenched tightly around the hospital bedsheets, while the
other hands closed around the hospital gown that encased Shouyou’s chest. His
mouth opened wide in a desperate attempt to get air into his lungs. Through
bleary eyes and muddy colors, Shouyou saw more people come into the room. A
face leaned in close to him, and it was one that Shouyou recognized. Their lips
moved and a hand gripped Shouyou’s shoulder. But Shouyou couldn’t hear what
they were saying.
It was all white noise.
“C-can’t..can’t” Shouyou gasped, and shook his head. He brought his left hand
to his chest and clutched the fabric there, right along with his dominant hand.
“Can’t!”
“Hinata. Calm down.” Asahi’s voice finally broke through an invisible barrier
separating him from Shouyou. “You can. You can breath.” His deep voice soothed
slowly. “Try to match my breathing.” The instructions were simple, and Shouyou
should have been able to do it easily. But for some reason it wasn’t working.
The boy shook his head and he felt the tears finally pooling over his cheeks.
The noise disappeared again and Shouyou was left to watch as even more people
came into his room. He felt claustrophobic. The room was closing in on him. His
breathing picked up speed again, and Shoyou was dizzy.
Pairs of hands were on him and something slipped over his head. Whatever it
was, it was working. The air was entering Shouyou’s system again. It was
getting easier and easier to breathe. The room started to return to its normal
shape and Shouyou realized that there weren’t that many people in his room.
Only Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Sugawara, Asahi, and a nurse. Asahi was sitting directly
in front of Shouyou, a hand on the ginger’s shoulder. The nurse was to Hinata’s
left, blinking at his and asking him things that Shouyou couldn’t even process
at the moment. Sugawara was to the right of Shouyou, standing frozen by the
door with Iwaizumi. Oikawa was to the left, by the room’s window and behind the
nurse.
Each one of their faces were laced with worry, an expression that Shouyou
despised. “I’m okay.” He whispered out, turning his eyes to his hands on his
lap. There was a collective sigh that went around the room. Shouyou could
vaguely hear Sugawara leaning out the door to relay the news to the others in
the hallway.
“Are you sure Hinata?” Asahi frowned. “Don’t force yourself, okay?”
Shouyou offered the best smile he could to the third year and nodded his head.
“Well Shittykawa and I will leave to get some food. Come on.” Iwaizumi muttered
lowly, dismissing himself and Oikawa from the room.
“Can I bring the others in Hinata?” Sugawara asked tentatively. Shouyou was
hesitant to have any more visitors, but he gave a reluctant nod of his head.
The ashen haired third year smiled ever so slightly, and turned back to the
door.
Asahi cleared his throat to get Shouyou’s attention once more. “If anything
gets to be too much for you, just let us know and we’ll stop. We’ll leave too,
if that’s what you want.” Shouyou nodded his head to confirm that he
understood.
Daichi, Tsukishima, Tanaka, and Kiyoko stepped into the medium sized hospital
room. Slowly they made their way to Shouyou’s bed, and stopping at the end.
Their faces were clearly worried, but none of them had said anything. The room
was oddly silent. Not really awkward, but tense. “So, Hinata.” Daichi began.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m not really sure…” Shouyou muttered back in the quiet voice that they were
becoming accustomed to. “I haven’t spoken to a doctor or anything, since I just
woke up. But I feel sore.”
“Hinata. I wanted to ask and I’m sure the others want to know too.” Sugawara
chose his words carefully. “What were you and your sister doing outside at two
in the morning?”
Shouyou’s body stiffened, and everyone had noticed. The boy’s brown eyes
shifted from the older setter to the window to his left, and down to his lap
again. “I--We left home.” The words came out so quietly that only Asahi--whom
was still seated at the edge of the hospital bed--had heard it.
“Left home?” Asahi reiterated. “Why is that?”
The ginger haired blanched, squinting his eyes. “Home is not home.” he
muttered, turning away.
“Be more specific, idiot.” Tsukishima growled and gripped the rail at the end
of the bed.
“Oi, Tsukishima.” Daichi warned the first year.
Tsukishima, of course, didn’t heed the warning though. “If you won’t tell us
Hinata, then why don’t I tell you what we think is going on.” The words were
curt and to the point. They weren’t exactly hostile. More like frustrated.
Shouyou didn’t have any time to respond. “First, I told them what you told me.
About your dad.” Shouyou’s eyes widened. “It was for your own good, and frankly
I don’t regret telling them. Because they were already assuming that you were
getting abused. Shimizu-san saw your dad carrying a beer bottle Thursday night.
Daichi-san picked up how slurred his voice was when you called him Wednesday
night. Hell, Tanaka-san saw three creeps go into your house last night.”
Tsukishima listed off in a frantic rage. “Don’t you dare make up some bullshit
lie.” The blonde growled.
Shouyou had stopped listening to Tsukishima long before the latter started
ranting. Because Tsukishima had told them. He told them about his dad hitting
him. Tsukishima betrayed Shouyou’s trust. “H-Hinata?” Asahi waved his hand in
front of the boy’s face.
Before anyone could say anything after Tsukishima’s rant, Hinata started to
cry. There were sounds of surprise that came from around the auburn haired
teen. Sugawara rushed to Shouyou’s side, and pulling the first year into his
chest. “Shh, Shouyou. Shh.” He cooed softly.
“I-I’m sorry!” Shouyou whined, burying himself into the ashen haired teen’s
hold.
“Wh-What are you apologizing for Hinata!” Tanaka squaked, he forced Tsukishima
to bow his head. “This guy should be apologizing! Apologize Tsukishima!” Tanaka
frowned at the blonde.
Shouyou shook his head in between muffled cries. “I t-tried to stop it. I tried
to stop everything!” Shouyou wailed. “It was to protect Natsu, so he wouldn’t
touch her. I was just trying to protect her. And-and, he started hitting and
drinking and the-the drugs. I wouldn’t let him touch her.” Shouyou stuttered
out incoherently. The other’s went quiet at the sloppy confession. “Then he
started d-doing other things and--” Shouyou was petrified, clinging onto
Sugawara for dear life.
After that Shouyou’s words became less and less coherent. Until the boy had
cried himself to sleep from exhaustion. But Shouyou didn’t need to say anything
else. Those few sentences were all the group needed to confirm everything.
Shouyou was being abused by his dad, who had apparently did way more than just
hit the poor child.
                                     -----
Daichi was pissed. He knew things were bad, but he wasn’t aware just how bad
things actually were. They were so much worse than he had initially thought. He
was currently sitting in Shouyou’s hospital room, in one of the chairs along
the room’s window. Everyone was pretty much spread out. Kiyoko was on a chair
besides him. Tanaka was huddled against the wall under the TV, where he tried
to get some sleep. Tsukishima was at Tanaka’s feet, head against the wall and
headphones over his ears. Asahi had left to go to the restroom. Sugawara was
lying on the bed with Shouyou tucked under his chin. Oikawa and Iwaizumi sat in
another pair of chairs that were near the room’s door, and a ginger haired girl
clinging to Oikawa.
Daichi’s eyes travelled back to Shouyou and Sugawara, specifically the former
of the two. Shouyou looked--to put it simply--awful. The boy’s cheeks and nose
were a bright red from crying. Tears dried on his skin and clumped together his
eye lashes. Sugawara was slowly rubbing the ginger’s hair, and every now and
then, the ashen haired teen would utter soothing words whenever Shouyou
twitched. Daichi couldn’t believe what his poor junior had went through.
Not long ago, Oikawa’s mother had come into the room to check on Shouyou--who
was already long asleep. She had come in with Shouyou’s little sister, Natsu.
The little girl had run straight to Oikawa, latching onto him and spouting out
worried questions. She was more worried about her brother than anyone. Soon,
Natsu had cried herself to sleep on Oikawa’s lap. Oikawa mother had looked at
each one of the boys in the room with solemn eyes, and she opened her mouth to
speak. What she had told everyone was painful.
“Hinata-kun’s mother had passed away in this hospital yesterday morning. The
doctor said that his dad had come to get Hinata-kun and Natsu, but nothing
seemed off about him.”
Over the week, so much had happened to Shouyou. He was so lost and confused and
scared and  in pain .
Daichi wished that this hadn’t happened to him. To anyone. But least of all,
Shouyou. The first year was brighter than the sun itself. Hearing that he was
going through all of this pain, was a nightmare. If Daichi could take away the
pain, he would have a long time ago.
Everyone in the room snapped their heads towards the door, as a knock came from
the other side of it. Oikawa briefly met eyes with Daichi, and the latter
nodded his head. The brunette haired setter handed off Natsu to Iwaizumi, and
stood to get the door. Oikawa turned the handle and poked his head out the
door. Daichi couldn’t hear, nor see, who Oikawa was speaking to. But the third
year from Aoba Josai opened the door to let the person inside.
Stepping inside the room were two police officers, one man and one woman. They
were followed inside by Oikawa’s mother. “I’m officer Hanazaki, and this is
officer Kimura. We’ll be investigating Hinata-kun’s case. If it’s okay, we’d
like to speak with him.” The man spoke slowly, meeting eyes with everyone in
the room. “Then, we’d like to speak to you all individually to collect more
information.”
Daichi felt the relief that filled the air in the room.
He was glad that something was finally going to be done.
***** Pretty Little Red *****
Chapter Summary
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
     Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression,
     Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harassment
     (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to
     be added)
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
Shouyou was lightly shaken from his slumber. He opened his eyes to see
Sugawara, offering a small smile. Shouyou blinked a couple times to rid himself
of sleep. The ashen haired third year wrapped his arms around Shouyou in order
to help the latter sit up. Shouyou couldn’t help that he was putting all of his
waiting into his upperclassman’s side. Sugawara didn’t seem to mind it anyway.
“Shouyou, wake up.” Sugawara carefully ushered his junior.
 
“Suga-san?” Shouyou glanced at the third year, who nodded to someone in front
of them. The first year turned to look at whatever Sugawara was motioning to.
Standing at the edge of the bed were two police officers. They wore their full
uniform, including their belt of both dangerous and non-dangerous accessories.
It took a minute to process what was going on and why these people were here.
Shouyou went rigid, moving closer to Sugawara. The latter cooed at the teen.
 
“Hinata-kun?” The male officer spoke lowly. “My name is officer Hanazaki. My
partner here, is officer Kimura.” Shouyou furrowed his brows, looking in
between the two officers, then at Sugawara, and finally to everyone else in the
room. “We’d like to talk to you, if that’s okay.” Officer Hanazaki stated,
watching Shouyou closely for anything that might seem like a negative reaction.
So far there was nothing.
 
“C-can I keep Sugawara-san here?” Shouyou’s voice was small, and unsure. He
kept looking up at Sugawara with big, pleading eyes.
 
“Of course.” The female officer, Kimura, nodded her head with a sympathetic
smile adorning her features. She, then, turned to the rest of the high
schoolers in the room. “If you could all wait in the lobby, until we are
finished.” She questioned. The others were skeptical to leave. After how much
the little middle blocker had been through, they didn’t want to let him out of
their sights. The only reason that they were able to leave, was because
Sugawara was with Shouyou.
 
The door was closed behind Tanaka, who glanced back at Shouyou one more time
before he left. Sugawara stayed planted on the bed beside the ginger. Each of
the two officers pulled up a chair besides Shouyou’s bed. They were far enough
so that the boy didn’t feel overwhelmed, but close enough to effectively
discuss things back and forth. Sugawara whispered into his junior’s ear. “It’ll
be okay. Take your time.”
 
“Are you ready, Hinata-kun?” Hanazaki asked, glancing at Shouyou, then Sugawara
and back. Shouyou took a couple of deep breaths and nodded his head. “Okay.
First, I’d like to let you know that for the sake of evidence, this
conversation will be recorded. No one else will be hearing this conversation
except me, Kimura, and the court judge. Is that okay?”
 
“Y-yes.” Shouyou said, but his voice quivered and his breathing quickened
again. Sugawara held Shouyou close.
 
“Okay, we’ll take it slow then.” Hanazaki stated, glancing at his partner.
Kimura had already pulled out a recorder from her belt and had set it up. She
nodded, and Hanazaki turned back to Shouyou. “First of all, I’d like to ask why
you and your little sister were out at two in the morning. Please explain in
detail and don’t leave anything out. You may take as long as you need to
answer.”
 
Shouyou squeezed his eyes shut, relishing in the fact that Sugawara was at his
side and that he was in a safe place now. He took a deep breath and exhaled
slowly. Shouyou opened his eyes, and looked toward the two officers. “W-we left
the house..to..t-to get away from him.”
 
“Who is ‘him,’ Hinata-kun?” Kimura questioned.
 
“O-our dad.”
 
“What did he do that you had to get away from him?” Hanazaki spoke up again.
 
Shouyou’s breath hitched and he squeezed Sugawara’s hand. The latter squeezed
back to reassure that Shouyou was okay. “H-he did things..” Shouyou was being
vague. He knew he was, but he felt that he’d be basically reliving what he’d
been through if he reiterated his experiences.

 “Hinata-kun. Please explain in detail.” Hanazaki said slowly. “Again, take
your time.”
 
Sugawara worked calm the first year down. He resorted to soothing words and
gentle rubs up and down between Shouyou’s shoulder blades. The middle blocker
leaned into his touch. “My d-dad drank. A-a lot. Did drugs sometimes, t-too. He
would get mad at m-me and Natsu if we came here to visit our mom. He’d h-hit
me. Th-threaten to h-hit Natsu too, i-if I didn’t...if I didn’t listen to him.”
Sugawara clenched his teeth together tightly, and shuffling Shouyou closer to
him.
 
“Anything else, Hinata-kun?” Kimura asked, looking down to check that the
recording device was still operating.
 
Shouyou paused to blink back the tears that started to form behind his eyes.
Hanazaki and Kimura waited patiently for the boy to speak. His breathing
changed again, speeding up. The silver haired teen besides him pulled the young
teen into his chest. “Shh, Shouyou.” He hushed in low whispers. “You’re okay.”
He repeated again.
 
They room was silent for another few minutes, until Shouyou pulled away from
his upperclassman’s chest. “Last night..he,  they -- they  touched me.”
 
His voice was so quiet. So laced with pain and fear. Sugawara swears he heard
his heart break. The room was completely and utterly silent. No one spoke a
word as the auburn haired first year started to cry into Sugawara’s chest. The
third year felt his own tears pooling at the edge of his eyes. He turned his
nose into Shouyou’s soft hair and gripped his junior closer, to the point that
the latter was basically in the former’s lap. “Oh Shouyou.” Sugawara cried with
the first year. “Shh. Y-you’re safe.” Voice cracked and tears spilt.
 
“I-I’m sorry that happened, Hinata-kun.” Hanazaki sympathized. The group of
four took another few minutes so that Shouyou could regather himself--well as
much as one could when they’re physically, emotionally, and mentally drained.
“May we continue, Hinata-kun?” Hanazaki started to ask. There was only a minor
nod from Shouyou.
 
“May we wrap this up soon?” Sugawara looked up from the teen in his grasp. “I
don’t want Shouyou to stress out.”
 
Kimura spoke first, “Of course. Just a couple more questions.”
 
“I noticed you used the word ‘they’ when answering the last question.” Hanazaki
pointed out. “Who is ‘they’?”
 
Shouyou blearily looked up from Sugawara’s chest and glanced at the two police
officers. “F-friends..of him.” He whispered softly. Shouyou blinked slowly and
looked back at his senior. “Done?”
 
Sugawara nodded his head. “Yeah.” The third year turned his attention to the
two adults. “I’m sorry. Shouyou’s not up for anymore questions.”
 
“I understand. The poor kid has been through a lot.” Hanazaki bobbed his head.
“But please understand what I’m about to ask of Hinata-kun next.” Sugawara
narrowed his eyes when the man said that there would be a final question. “In
order to put his father and his friends into jail, we need evidence that they
hurt HInata-kun. We’d like to take pictures of his body before they fade.”
 
“Y-you can’t.” Sugawara furrowed his eyebrows.
 
“I understand that this is a sensitive thing, but please.” Kimura frowned. “If
we don’t have evidence, then we might lose the case. If that happened Hinata-
kun and his sister will have to back home to him.”
 
Hanazaki stared at protective third year that cradled the dozing off Shouyou.
“Of course we’ll comply if Hinata-kun really doesn’t want to take the pictures.
But this is all to prevent that he doesn’t have to go back to an abusive home.”
 
“Can I talk to him first?” Sugawara spoke hesitantly. “I want to make sure he
understands.”
 
The two police officers nodded. “We’ll be waiting for his answer out in the
hallway.” Kimura said, as Hanazaki was already making his exit.
 
When the two adults left, Sugawara lightly shook Shouyou awake. “Shouyou. Open
your eyes Shouyou. I have to talk to you about something that’s very
important.” Shouyou blinked slowly, and reached up to rub his eyes. “I know
you’re tired Shouyou. Just a little longer, okay?”
 
Shouyou finally opened his eyes. “What’s wrong Suga-san?” His voice was heavy
with exhaustion. Sugawara just wanted to let the poor child sleep and forget
about everything already. It must be exhausting going through all this,
especially after a night like Shouyou had.
 
“Shouyou. I need you to listen very carefully, okay?” The aforementioned boy
waited for Sugawara to continue. Shouyou’s brown eyes were half lidded, but
widened every few seconds to try to stay awake. “You want to leave this man
right? So you and Natsu-chan can be safe?”
 
“Of course.” Shouyou whispered.
 
“Then you know that there has to be a court trial to determine whether your dad
really did was he did and to determine how long he’s put away for.” Shouyou
hummed to signify that he was still listening. “But they can’t put him away if
they don’t have evidence.”
 
“I know that Suga-san.” Shouyou informed.
 
“I know you know.” The third year chuckled, running his hand through ginger
locks. “But right now there is no evidence.”
 
Shouyou shot up at that, suddenly awake. “I-I have to go ba-back!?” Before
Shouyou could put himself through another panic attack, Sugawara grabbed the
boy’s hands and shook his head.
 
“No! No, Shouyou.” Sugawara stated firmly. “You are  not  going back there.
Ever . Not you. Not your sister.”
 
“B-but if there’s no evidence..” Shouyou trailed off with downcast eyes.
 
“The officers want to..” The third year hesitated, and Shouyou waited
expectantly. “They want to take pictures...Of your body..Before the bruises
fade.”
 
With every word, Shouyou’s grip on his seniors hands tightened. His eyes grew
even widen, if possible. “Bu-t, I-I can’t.” He sobbed. “Th-they’ll see the ugly
marks.”
 
Sugawara cursed under his breath. He pulled Shouyou back into his chest. “I
know Shouyou. I know. But if there aren’t any pictures, then you and Natsu have
to go back to that horrible man.” He whispered into the younger teen’s hair.
 
“C-can you stay with me..” Shouyou whined into the elder’s chest. “I-if I do
it?”
 
“Of course. I won’t be leaving anytime soon.” Sugawara hugged Shouyou for
another minute, before pulling back. “I’m going to tell the officers you agreed
to it, okay? I’ll be right outside the door.” Shouyou seemed to stiffen when
his senior said that he’d be leaving. “I’ll be right outside. I promise I won’t
leave. Okay?” Shouyou was hesitant to let Sugawara go, as the latter stood up
from the bed.
 
                                     -----
                                        
After the two police officers came to ask Shouyou questions, Daichi and the
others were asked to leave the ginger’s hospital room. Asahi had come back from
the bathroom soon after, asking why everyone was waiting outside. Tanaka
explained. The other’s took this time to do things. Tsukishima went to get food
and drinks. Kiyoko offered to go with the first year to the convenience store
that was down the street from the hospital. No one really wanted to eat
hospital food. Tanaka continued to speak with Asahi about who knows what.
Oikawa took Natsu to his mom, with Iwaizumi following because he had nothing
better to do. Sugawara was in the room with Shouyou and the officers. And that
left Daichi to stand alone, leaning against the wall.
 
Usually, Daichi would think about everything that was going on, but what was
there to think? He was pissed off. Livid. He wanted Hinata’s dad and those guys
Tanaka told them all about in jail. If he was being honest, Daichi wanted them
dead. Gone from this world so they couldn’t hurt anyone else. The others surely
felt the same. It wasn’t a secret.
 
The brunette haired captain sighed, running a hand over his face. He was tired.
They all were. It was just reaching around seven in the morning. It’s been four
hours that they’ve all spent at the hospital, since Oikawa and Iwaizumi called
him. Daichi pulled his phone from his pocket at went through the contacts.
 
He should call the others. Ukai and Takeda especially.
 
Daichi looked up at Asahi and Tanaka. “I’m going to call the others. Let them
know what’s going on.” He motioned to the cellular device in his hands. The
other two nodded, and going back to their conversation with grim expressions.
 
The third year turned down the hall, to the elevators. It took his ten minutes
to get down the elevator and through the large hospital’s lobby. He exited at
the front, while looking for Takeda’s number. He would just text in the group
chat, but this situation didn’t seem appropriate to inform through text. Daichi
clicked on the call button, just as he sat down on a bench outside the
hospital’s doors. The phone rang twice before there was an answer. “Hello,
Sawamura-kun?” Takeda’s voice rang through Daichi’s small speakers.

 “Takeda-sensei...Listen--”
 
                                     -----
                                        
Takeda rushed down the stairs of his home. His hair was tangled and his glasses
askew upon his nose. The white t-shirt he had just thrown on was aligned with
wrinkles, and his green tracksuit jacket hung carelessly off his shoulders.
Takeda grabbed his keys while passing through his hallway to get to the door.
He leaned down to hurriedly slip his shoes on. The young teacher stumbled out
his front door, nearly tripping down the couple steps that led to his driveway.
With a quick twist and the quiet clicking of the door being locked, Takeda all
but jumped into his car. As he backed out of his driveway, Takeda couldn’t help
the fear that swelled in his chest. He replayed the conversation that he had
with Daichi.
 
                                     -----
                                        
Takeda woke up early this sunday morning. He turned to check the time on his
clock. The bright red, digital numbers read 6:30am. The young English teacher
sighed, stretching his hands above his head and letting out a loud yawn. Takeda
stood from his bed, taking his phone and glasses, before heading downstairs for
breakfast.
 
When the teacher entered his kitchen, he gave a sigh at the pile of papers that
sat upon his kitchen table. He still had papers to grade after all. He needed
to start entering grades too, since the halfway point in the school year was
coming up soon. He sighed again, lifting his right hand to fix the glasses that
slipped down the bridge of his nose. Takeda turned toward his fridge to pull
out leftovers from last night's dinner. He transferred food into a bowl and set
it into the microwave.
 
A yawn left his lips and tears blurred the corner of Takeda’s eyes, when his
phone vibrated against his kitchen countertops. Takeda blindly reached for his
device. He blinked the blurriness away in order to see the caller id on his
phone’s screen. The teacher furrowed his eyebrows at the name that appeared.
“Hello, Sawamura-kun?” Takeda questioned. It was unusual that the third year
student would call him on a Sunday morning. In fact, it’s never happened
before.
 
“Takeda-sensei...Listen—“ Daichi’s voice was soft and quiet. Takeda guessed
that the young adult hadn’t slept well. “There’s something that I thought you
should know. It’s really important.”
 
“Of course Sawamura-kun.” Takeda spoke softly back, silently saying that he’d
listen carefully.
 
There was a hesitant breath on the other end. “It’s about Hinata.” Daichi
sighed. Takeda didn’t interrupt, waiting and listening carefully as his student
explained. “Hinata is in the hospital right now. Me, Sugawara, Tanaka, Asahi,
Kiyoko, and Tsukishima are here with him. Oikawa and Iwaizumi from Aoba Josai
found Hinata and his little sister outside last night. Hinata was unconscious
and hurt badly. Oikawa’s mom took Hinata and his sister to the hospital,
checking in around 2:45 this morning. Me and the others got here around three.
And I thought I’d call you, Ukai-san, and the other to let you all know. I
still have to call them though..”
 
Takeda felt the air rush out of his chest, processing everything that the young
third year student had relayed to him. His first year student was in the
hospital. Hinata was in the hospital. Injured. Takeda’s brown eyes widened and
he shot up. Frantically he rushed up the stairs. “O-okay! I’ll be there soon
Sawamura-kun! I’ll let Ukai-san know too, just call the rest of the team okay?
Thank you for letting me know. Please explain the rest when I arrive.”
 
“Okay, Takeda-sensei.” Daichi replied in a tone so quiet that Takeda almost
missed it. Nothing else was said and Takeda hung up. In a frantic rush up to
his room, Takeda searched his contacts for the volleyball team’s coach. Coming
upon the coach’s name, Takeda smashed the green call button with his thumb and
crashed through his bedroom door at the same time. He rose the device to his
ear and awaited through the painstakingly long rings.
 
In his haste to get dressed, the ringing stopped and a tired yawn came through
small speaker. “Takeda-senses?” Ukai’s voice spoke. “Is there something you—“
 
“UKAI-SAN!!” Takeda screamed frantically. There was a crash on the other side,
but Takeda had no time to pay any mind to it. “There’s been an accident! I’m
going to pick you up right now. We need to get to Sendai City Hospital! Get
ready! I’ll be there in ten. I’ll explain then.” Ukai was in the middle of
making an intelligible noise when Takeda hung up.
 
                                      ——
                                        
Takeda pulled up to the Sakanoshita store, where Ukai was pacing out front. The
young coach’s blonde hair was down and tangled, instead of being pulled back by
his usual headband. Ukai spun around on his heels so fast that Takeda swore the
young coach got whiplash. He lead to the side, opening his passenger side door
and Ukai jumped inside the car. “What the hell is going on Takeda-sensei?” The
blonde man scowled.
 
Moving the car back into drive, Takeda pulled forward and away from the small
store. He shook his head and sighed. “Sawamura-kun called me. Hinata-kun is in
the hospital.”
 
“What?” Ukai’s eyes were blown wide. He stared at the third year English
teacher, who solely focused on the road ahead. “Wh-what happened?”
 
Takeda sighed, shaking his head. “Not sure. I was told that Hinata-kun and his
sister were found outside earlier this morning by some students from the Aoba
Josai volleyball team. Hinata-kun sustained injuries worse than what we last
saw, from what Sawamura-kun said.” The teacher briefed, as the Sendai City
Hospital came into view.
 
                                      ——
                                        
Daichi just got off the phone with Takeda-sensei. The third year rubbed his
hand over his face, and let out a loud drawn out sigh. At least he didn’t have
to talk to Ukai. But that left him to talk to the rest of his team. That was
probably the hardest thing. Especially informing Kageyama, who was Hinata’s
best friend. He was the one that wanted to do something the most, but knew the
least. And Daichi felt bad about that. He bit his lip and started calling the
rest of his teammates, starting with Kageyama.
 
Daichi felt even more nervous calling Kageyama. The ringing made his stomach
twist into a tight knot. There was no way that Kageyama was going to take this
news kindly and calmly. It was bad enough that Tsukishima lashed out at Hinata
earlier. Kageyama would give Hinata hell. The ringing suddenly stopped and
there was a pause. Then the first year setter’s voice was heard panting on the
other end. “Morning Daichi-san.” Kageyama finally got out after catching his
breath.
 
“Kageyama?” Daichi questioned. “Did you just run?”
 
“Yeah. I run every Sunday morning.” The setter responded casually. “Why the
sudden call?”
 
Daichi’s breath caught in his throat. “It’s Hinata.” Before Daichi could
explain, Kageyama cut him off.
 
“Where?” His voice was dead serious. All signs of exhaustion gone.
 
“Sendai City Hospital.” Daichi breathed.
 
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” Kageyama stated surely, and hung up. Daichi
blinked at his phone. His junior seemed calm, but Daichi knew better than that.
Kageyama was panicked, worried. He was frightened for his best friend, who was
currently in the hospital.
 
Daichi hurriedly called the rest of him team. Each of them saying that they’d
get to the hospital in twenty minutes or less. Just at that moment, his name
was called. “Sawamura!” The third year turned to see his coach and advisor
running toward him. “Where’s Hinata?”
 
“I’ll show you.” Daichi motioned inside, and led the two adults to Shouyou’s
room. “Oikawa and Iwaizumi said they found Hinata unconscious outside around
two this morning. His little sister was with him, crying. They apparently heard
her and found  her next to Hinata.” Daichi began to brief. “He was hurt bad.
Oikawa’s mom is a nurse. They brought him here.”
 
“And what caused the injuries?” Ukai asked, a grim expression on his face.
 
“Abuse.” Daichi said after a brief moment of hesitation. “His dad abused him.
Hinata apparently left the house after his dad brought...friends..over.” The
teen cringed. “They….raped him.” Daichi clenched his fists, not looking to see
Ukai nor Takeda’s reactions.
 
Ukai crosses his arms over his chest. “Fuck.” He cursed, glaring at the floor.
Another string of curses went unheard, but Daichi knew they were there. Takeda,
on the other hand, choked. The teacher’s hands flew up to his mouth in order to
hide sobs that threatened to escape.
 
“Hinata’s with Sugawara. They’re talking to the police right now. Or they were
before I left to inform you and the others.” Daichi explained, as the doors to
the elevator opened. The three stepped inside. It was silent all the way up.
When the door opened, Daichi continued to lead the two adults through the hall.
 
They came up to Shouyou’s room, where everyone was waiting outside. Oikawa and
Iwaizumi we’re back. Tanaka and Asahi were still talking together. Tsukishima
and Kiyoko were back from the convenience store. Daichi didn’t know how he
missed them. The police and Sugawara were talking together. “Suga.” Daichi
called, and the ashen haired teen turned his head.
 
“Daichi.” Sugawara smiled ever so slightly. He turned his eyes to Ukai and
Takeda, nodding his head, and then waving them over. “Ukai-san, Takeda-sensei.
This is Officer Hanazaki and Officer Kimura. They’re in charge of Shouyou’s
case.” Sugawara introduced. “This is our volleyball coach and advisor, Ukai-san
and Takeda-sensei, respectively.” The four adults shook hands and began to
discuss things about Hinata.
Sugawara moved over to meet Daichi. “What’s going on? Is Hinata okay?” Daichi
asked, glancing at his junior’s door.
 
“Yeah, for the most part.” Sugawara sighed. “They’re going to take pictures, of
Shouyou’s body. For evidence, y’know?” The setter looked worried still.
“Shouyou is scared. He doesn’t want anyone to see them.”
 
“Understandable.” Daichi nodded his head.
 
“How’d it go telling the others?” Sugawara moved his gaze back to the captain.
 
“Better than I thought. They’re all on their way.” He explained, receiving a
short nod back from his vice captain.
 
“Sugawara-kun.” Hanazaki called the student. Sugawara turned around. “We’re
going to start, if you’re ready.” The ashen haired teen nodded, and headed back
into Shouyou’s room with the two officers.
 
                                      ——
                                        
Shouyou wasn’t counting how long Sugawara was gone, but it seem like the third
year was gone forever. Shouyou could feel the anxiety building in his chest. It
was like liquid fire that started under his rib cage and slowly burned down his
arms and stomach. Up his throat. Shouyou suddenly felt sick. The idea of other
people seeing the physical wounds his father caused. It made Shouyou blanch. He
didn’t want anyone to see them. They were ugly. It’s why he hid the disgusting
marks in the first place.
 
The ginger jumped at the door that opened up again. “Ah, sorry Shouyou.”
Sugawara smiled apologetically. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” Shouyou shook his
head, as his senior came up besides the bed. “Are you ready?”
 
“N-not really.” Shouyou frowned. He locked his eyes onto his lap. Sugawara
reached out and ran his fingers through the first year’s hair. Shouyou leaned
into the touch, and the simple reaction made Sugawara keen.
 
“I’ll be right besides you.” The setter nodded his head, carefully lifting
Shouyou up and steadied the teen into his feet. Shouyou nodded back. He took a
deep breath.
 
Hanazaki ad Kimura waited patiently. Once Shouyou gave the okay, Kimura pulled
out a camera. “First we’ll start with your upper body. Is that okay?” She asked
softly. Shouyou bit his lip, frantically looking between the camera and
Sugawara.
 
“It’ll be okay, Shouyou.” Sugawara eased. Shouyou was still reluctant, but let
Sugawara help him lift his shirt. Shouyou’s breathing hastened, as the shirt
was lifted over his head. He was quick to grip Sugawara’s arm. His fingers
tightened around his upperclassman’s bicep when he heard the light clicking of
the camera going off. Tears pooled at the bottom of his eyes, and his teeth bit
on his lower lip even harder. Blood was beginning to be drawn. Sugawara’s hand
wrapped over Shouyou’s. “Shhh.”
 
“Turn the other way please.” Kimura asked politely. Sugawara shifted Shouyou,
who was too frozen to move. The camera started clicking again.
 
“The poor kid.” Hanazaki whispered to his partner, but it wasn’t quiet enough.
Shouyou heard him.
 
The young first year started moving to throw his shirt back on. The last thing
he wanted was the pity. It was bad enough that his teammates knew. They already
felt bad. Shouyou didn’t need these complete strangers to feel the same. “S-
sorry. I guess that’s enough.” Sugawara moved automatically to help Shouyou
redress himself.
 
“No. That’s fine. We should have enough evidence for the case trial.” Hanazaki
said somberly. “Hinata-kun, thank you for your time.” Both Hanazaki and Kimura
bowed their heads. They left the room, and silence fell upon Sugawara and
Shouyou.
 
The third year turned to his junior, who was frantically tugging at the bottom
of his shirt. Shouyou’s shirt was already on, but he pulled at the bottom as if
the shirt wasn’t covering his body enough. Sugawara took Shouyou by the hands.
“Shouyou. Calm down. Shh. Shh. It’s okay. They’re covered.” He stayed calmly.
Still, Shouyou continued to pull and tug at his shirt.
 
Then there was a knock.
 
Shouyou jumped at the sound. His mind automatically went back to last night.
The sound of the knock at his front door. The strange men that entered his
home. The hands and the touching and the whispering. Shouyou shivered,
retreating to his bed, where he bundled the blankets around himself. Sugawara
frowned at the movement. “Shouyou.”
 
“I want to be alone Sugawara-san.” Shouyou’s voice came out quietly. His voice
shook and his eyes stayed trained to the window. “Please.”
 
“O-okay.” Sugawara choked back, and stepped outside. He was met by Kageyama at
the door. “K-Kageyama..”
 
The raven haired teen nodded, moving his eyes back to the door. “Is Hinata in
there?”
 
“Shouyou wants to be alone right now.” Sugawara answered. He was clearly
troubled by it.
 
“I need to see him.” Kageyama demanded, trying to enter the room anyway. He was
jerked back by Tanaka.
 
“Just let him for now.” Tanaka told him. His expression was stern, something
that was unlike the passive-aggressive second year. “He’s going through a lot
and he just got done talking to the police.”
 
Kageyama all but snarled back at the wing spiker. “All the more reason I need
to see him!”
 
“As much as I hate it,” Tsukishima muttered, “I agree with the King. Hinata
shouldn’t be alone right now.”
 
“Everyone needs to calm down.” Ukai barked at the group of high school
students. “Let’s give Hinata some time to calm himself down.” He said sternly.
Reluctant nods and grunts came from around the hall.
 
                                      ——
                                        
Once Sugawara left the room, and the soft click of the door closing echoed,
Shouyou shuffled himself out of his bed again. He shakily stood. It was more
painful since Sugawara wasn’t there to hold him up. His legs were sore. Shouyou
slowly made his way to one of the chairs by the window. He had noticed when he
woke up that his clothes from last night were neatly folded and placed there.
Shouyou unfolded his sweat pants and reached into his left pocket. His finger
pricked a sharp object.
 
Shouyou carefully pinched the object between his index finger and thumb,
sliding it out of his pocket. It was his razor blade. He knew he’d use it.
Shouyou placed the razor flat against the palm of his hand, and closed his
fist. His fire colored hair bounced as Shouyou hobbled toward the bathroom that
was his hospital room.
 
The door to the bathroom clicked closed. Shouyou turned his back to the mirror.
He didn’t want to see how he looked. He already had an idea. Red puffy eyes
that were probably swollen beyond belief. Purple rings under his eyes. Pale
complexion to the point he looked half dead. Hair greasy and tangled. Bandages
covering practically his entire body. He couldn’t understand how Sugawara could
even touch him.
 
Shouyou opened his hand, just watching the silver blade reflect the white light
above him. It really was such a beautiful thing. With his free hand, Shouyou
gently plucked the razor from his palm. The metal was cool against the pads of
his fingers. But the touch was soothing. It was something familiar to him.
 
With the hypnotized feeling coming back after a while, Shouyou removed the
bandages over his left wrist. He could almost see the blood rushing through
purple veins. Shouyou gulped down a puff of air, and brought the razor closer
to his vein. There was no pressure he put into the blade yet. It just rest
coolly against his skin. Shouyou watched the blade. Then slowly, he added
pressure. More and more. His wrist started the sting. It was painful, of
course, but Shouyou presses the razor down even more.
 
Beads of red slipped from under the jagged edge of razor. It slid along white
skin and over the edge of Shouyou’s wrist, dripping from the underside.
Shouyou’s brown eyes followed the thin trail of red that stained his wrist.
Shouyou presses down even harder. This time dragged the blade across the canvas
on his clean wrist. A thin red line formed, where more and more beads of red
slid out. Shouyou pulled the razor away, and tilted his wrist. More of the
metallic liquid spilled.
 
The blade was on Shouyou’s wrist again. This time just under the previous cut.
Shouyou wasted no time in drawing a hard red line into his skin. The red from
both cuts pooled together and slipped down his arm, making a trail to his
elbow. Shouyou repeated this a couple times. There were a total of four cuts on
his left wrist, all parallel to one another. Shouyou was going to go for a
fifth, golden brown eyes still trained to the red spilling over his arm. Just
as the Shouyou was about to press down for another red line to appear, the door
slammed open.
 
“Shouyou?” The door handle turned and was pushed open in one fluid movement.
“You’ve been in here too long. You okay—“ Shouyou jumped at the sound of
Nishinoya’s voice suddenly appearing. His right hand jerked, creating a large
cut at the side of Shouyou’s arms. He let out a pained yelp, dropping the razor
to the blue tiled floor and going to clutch the five inch cut that was created.
“SHOUYOU!” Nishinoya shouted at the blood that pooled the tile flooring.
 
Frantic cried were heard from back in Shoiyou’s hospital room, as everyone
began to crowd the bathroom door. Nishinoya jumped forward, catching Shouyou
when the latter’s knees buckled. The small libero was worried about the amount
of blood that was staining his hands and Shouyou’s shirt. Was this supposed to
be normal? Was this much blood normal for the five cuts that lined Shouyou’s
arm?
 
“He hit his main artery!” Kageyama stated, rushing forward to press his hands
against his best friend’s wrist. “Get a nurse! A doctor! Anyone!” The young
setter cried frantically. Kinoshita rushes out. His voice faded with distance,
calling for a doctor.
 
Takeda bet down in front of the trio, pressing paper towels atop Kageyama’s
hands. The blood had began to slip through his fingers. Kageyama moved,
allowing Takeda to press the towels to Shouyou’s wrist. “Hang on Shouyou.”
Nishinoya cried into auburn hair. The ginger’s head lolled against the libero’s
shoulder.
 
Kageyama leaned down, pressing his red stained hand to Shouyou’s cheek. “Oi,
idiot. You need to stay awake.” He ordered softly. Shouyou responded
soundlessly by widening his eyes a fraction of an inch. “Good.” Kageyama
murmured.
***** Stress of the Aftermath *****
Chapter Summary
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
     Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression,
     Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harassment
     (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to
     be added)
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
     Disclaimer! Photo in cover page, as well as any other photo does not
     belong to me unless stated otherwise.
Chapter Notes
     Sorry I never mentioned this before in the story, but it never
     occurred to me until now. So I’m pretty sure that somewhere in the
     previous chapters, I mentioned that Shouyou’s dad spent all his money
     on drugs and alcohol. Or maybe I put it as the shelves in the fridge
     were stocked with beers. Something like that. Yeah, so that means
     that there wasn’t a lot of food in the house. And that’s why Shouyou
     is often being described as “skinny” (or of the sorts). Shouyou
     didn’t eat, instead he always scrounged whatever money he could in
     order to feed Natsu, since everything up until now (in Shouyou’s
     perspective) was to protect Natsu. Just wanted to clear that up!
     Thanks!! <3
See the end of the chapter for more notes
“Shou-chan.” A voice called gently through a wooden door. “It’s time to wake
up.” A knock followed soon after the voice, waking up a young teen with messy
orange locks. Shouyou blearily blinked his eyes open. The first thing that came
into focus was the blank, white ceiling above him. It was another day. Shouyou
groaned, closing his eyes again. He didn’t want to get up from the warmth that
the bed beneath him was providing. He was too comfortable right now. “Shou-
chan, if you don’t get up and eat breakfast with us, I’ll go get Iwa-chan~.
He’s here again today.” The voice of Oikawa became more distinct to Shouyou’s
ears, especially when he heard the name of a raven haired third year.
 
“You wouldn’t..” Shouyou tried, eyes squinting open and watching the door of
the room carefully.
 
“You and I both know that I would.” Oikawa dared. “You have until the count of
five, Shou-chan.” The older teen began counting upward, very slowly. Shouyou
frowned, testing to see if Oikawa would seriously sell him out to the latter’s
best friend. But Oikawa continued to count, “Four and a half..” The setter drew
out, long and slow. Shouyou could practically hear the smirk on the brunette’s
face. The ginger haired boy shot up from his bed in Oikawa’s guest room.
 
“I’m up! I’m up!” Shouyou called, “Asshole.” He muttered as an afterthought.
 
Oikawa clicked his tongue. “You’ve been hanging around Iwa-chan too much.” The
comment made Shouyou smile ever so slightly. He was glad that Oikawa couldn’t
see it, or the setter would scream in glee and hug Shouyou way too tightly.
“Well, come downstairs in five minutes, Shou-chan, or I’ll really send Iwa-chan
up here to get you.” Oikawa threatened half-heartedly. Soon, loud footsteps
faded down the hall and down the stairs.
 
Shouyou sighed, throwing his legs over the side of the bed and stared
emotionlessly at the carpeted floor. Him and Natsu were now temporarily living
with Oikawa and his mom. After everything that happened in the hospital, the
two Hinata siblings were immediately put into the foster care system. All too
quickly, there were many families that offered to take in Shouyou and Natsu.
Though none of those families were willing to take the both of them. Oikawa’s
mother was very hesitant about stranger’s housing the two children, especially
after what Shouyou’s dad’s friends did. She was even more hesitant after
hearing that none of the families were financially stable enough to take in
both of the Hinata children. So Oikawa’s mother had applied herself into the
foster care system. She was accepted almost immediately because of her job at
the hospital, which paid well. After a few more confirmations, the two ginger
children were moving into the Oikawa residence.
 
It’s been two weeks since Shouyou was discharged from the hospital.
 
And one week since Shouyou and Natsu moved in with the Oikawas.
 
Since a week ago, Iwaizumi had also been showing up at Oikawa’s house, nearly
every day, as per Sugawara’s request. The constant visits were to--obviously--
check up on Shouyou and to see how the sun child was doing.
 
With a shallow sigh, Shouyou pushed himself up and off the bed. He stretched
his back, which resulted in a few pops up and down his spine. Without exerting
any unnecessary energy, Shouyou made his way to the bathroom. Golden brown eyes
refused to look into the bathroom’s mirror. Oikawa’s mom and Shouyou’s doctor
suspected the Shouyou had developed spectrophobia, which was a fear of mirrors
or the fear of his own reflection. Shouyou didn’t care about the name they gave
it. He shook his head and continued to do what needed to be done. First he used
the bathroom. The teen turned on the sink and made sure that the water was
warm. Shouyou quickly washed his hands and his face, brushed his teeth, and
patted his face dry. All done without glancing in the mirror once.
 
Once that was done, Shouyou ducked his head and pulled the bathroom door open.
He exited out into the hallway in order to make his way downstairs. Soon,
Shouyou entered the dining room, where the smell of food made Shouyou want to
gag. Still, the auburned haired boy still sat at the dining room table. “Nii-
chan!” Natsu shouted, when her older brother sat down. On the table, in the
space in front of Natsu, was a large drawing pad. Colored pencils, crayons, and
markers were scattered around her. A purple marker was clutched in her right
hand and a grin was on her face.
 
“Natsu-chan, manners please.” Mrs. Oikawa reminded softly. There was a smile on
her lips and the woman’s eyes crinkled at the corners. Natsu smiled sheepishly
back, uttering a small apology. “Good morning Shouyou.” The older woman turned
her head to Shouyou, and gently ran her thin fingers through his hair. “Sleep
well?”
 
Shouyou gave a nod. “Better.” He assured. Natsu took that opportunity to wrap
her big brother into a tight hug. Her arms stretching around her brother’s neck
and squeezing tightly. Once the smaller ginger pulled away, Shouyou smiled
genuinely at his little sister. Everyone had noticed that Natsu was the only
person that could make Shouyou smile still. Everyone else had failed at that.
But the smile wasn’t as wide as it used to be; wasn’t as bright.
 
A hand reached over Shouyou’s head and placed two small pills on the table in
front of the boy. One pill was white and the other was a dark blue--an
antidepressant and a vitamin, respectively. A glass of water followed after.
Shouyou glanced back at the person who had set down the pill. Oikawa. “It’s
time to take them.” The brunette smiled carefully.
 
“Thank you.” Shouyou whispered, taking the small pills into the palm of his
hand and the water in his other hand. He tilted his head back and let his pills
drop into his mouth. The pills were quickly chased with water. Shouyou hated
taking the medicine.
 
“Hinata.” A fourth person entered the dining room. Shouyou already knew who it
was though. Iwaizumi’s expression was stern, but his brown eyes were narrowed
with worry and pity. It was an expression that Shouyou was quickly getting used
to seeing in people’s eyes when they looked at him. He hated it. The ace
stopped beside Shouyou’s seat and held his right hand out, palm up. Shouyou
stared at the hand for a minute, before looking up to meet Iwaizumi’s gaze. He
knew what the third year was implying. “Hinata. Please.” The words came out
more needy than Iwaizumi probably wanted them to.
 
“Natsu, come here.” Mrs. Oikawa called the young girl. “It’s time to get ready
for school.”
 
“You mean daycare! Silly!” Natsu giggled and slipped out of her seat. She
rushed to Mrs. Oikawa’s side and the two left the room. Natsu didn’t know about
Shouyou hurting himself. She was too young to understand anyway. So whenever it
was time for the daily check, Mrs. Oikawa would leave with Natsu. Shouyou was
grateful for that.
 
Shoyou let out a tired sigh, and placed his right hand into Iwaizumi’s right
hand. The older teen flipped over the younger’s arm to get a look at Shouyou’s
wrist. He was checking for any new cuts. Once Iwaizumi was sure that no new
ones had appeared, he silently asked for Shouyou’s other arm. “Why do I have to
get checked everyday?” Shouyou pouted, but it wasn’t in the whiny way that
Oikawa and Iwaizumi would have usually expected Shouyou to speak in. His tone
sounded more exasperated than anything. “I’ve been clean for just over two
weeks.” The boy’s eyes were trained to the ground, dull and uncaring.
 
“We just want to make sure, Shou-chan.” Oikawa tried to smile, ruffling the
first year’s hair. “It was…” The setter paused, trying to think of the right
words to say. “It was horrifying..that day. All of us thought..”
 
“All of us thought that we were going to lose you, Hinata.” Iwaizumi finished.
“We just want to take precautions.”
 
Shouyou looked up at the two third years. “Why bother? Why does it matter to
you guys anyways?” Oikawa and Iwaizumi froze. “Before all this. Before you two
got tangled up in this mess, we weren’t even rivals. More or less friends. I
only knew you by your association to Kageyama. You two aren’t obligated to do
this for me.” Shouyou turned his eyes back to the ground, and pulled his arm
away from Iwaizumi.
 
“W-we do this  because  of what happened.” Oikawa emphasized. “ Because  of
what happened, we became friends. And now that we’re friends, Iwa-chan and I
aren’t going to let you suffer through this alone. We’re here to support you
and you have to understand that Shou-chan.” The setter pleaded, as he rested
both of his hands on Shouyou’s shoulders. He tried to meet the younger’s eyes,
but Shouyou refused to make eye contact.
 
“Don’t you two have practice, or something?” Shouyou rerouted the conversation.
 
Iwaizumi and Oikawa shared a short glance, before they backed away from the
first year. “You need to eat something Hinata.” Iwaizumi stated. It wasn’t a
statement. It was an order.
 
“Not hungry.” Shouyou curtly responded. The boy got up from his seat at the
dining room table. The wooden legs of the chair created a loud screech against
wood floors. Shouyou moved past the two third years, crossing the hall and into
the living room. Neither Iwaizumi nor Oikawa had the courage to go after
Shouyou. It was clear that he didn’t want to talk anymore. With a quiet sigh,
the two gathered their things to head to school.
 
Shouyou heard the front door open. “We’re leaving now, mom. Shou-chan.” Oikawa
declared, letting his best friend out the door first. Oikawa, then, followed.
The door clicked shut and Shouyou was left in the living room in silence.
Shouyou reveled in the brief moment of quiet. There were soft thumps coming
from upstairs, where Natsu was undoubtedly jumping around as she got ready for
daycare. She was a lot happier now that she was out of their old house, and
away from that man. Shouyou saw that much. The thumping grew louder, as the
noise moved down the stairs.
 
“Nii-chan.” Natsu called, all the while bouncing into the living room. She
jumped around the couch, before climbing onto her brother’s lap. Shouyou
tightly wrapped his arms around his little sister and pressed a firm kiss at
the crown of her head. The girl giggled into his neck, before pulling away and
looking up at the older teen. “Where’s Tooru-nii and Haji-nii?” Natsu’s brown
looked around the room, then back to her brother.
 
“They left for school already.” Shouyou responded. Natsu pouted and crossed her
arms over her chest, mumbling something about the two third years not saying
bye to her. “Hey, Natsu?” Shouyou caught the child’s attention, tilting her
head in reply. “Are you..Do you like it here? I mean being away from dad?”
Natsu was silent for a minute. A frown made it’s way to her lips.
 
The girl shook her head. “I miss dad. But I know he was mean to you, Nii-chan.”
Natsu’s response took Shouyou by surprise. “I miss how dad was before he was
mean. When he took us to dinner, and bought us things. Dad used to be nice
right?”
 
Shouyou smiled slightly. “Yeah.”
 
“But I like being here, with auntie, Tooru-nii, and Haji-nii.” Natsu continued,
intertwining her small fingers with Shouyou’s. “And meeting nii-chan’s friends,
like Tobi-nii and Suga-nii. They’re all super nice.” She grinned. The smile on
his sister’s face made Shouyou’s heart warm. He reached out and took the girl
into his arms, hugging her tightly. Natsu squealed in response, small hands
pressing against her older brother’s face to push him away. Shouyou resisted,
burying his nose into her neck and blowing a raspberry.
 
Mrs. Oikawa came downstairs after changing into her work clothes. She heard
laughs and squeals coming from her living room. As quietly as possible, the
brunette haired woman worked her way towards the entrance and peeked her head
inside. Twisting and turning on her couch was Natsu, eyes clenched closed and
mouth open in a wide smile. Shouyou was leaning above her, pressing his hands
into the girl’s stomach and grinning just as wide. The two sibling playing with
one another was a beautiful sight, especially after everything that was going
on. It was nice to see the two children smiling.
 
As much as Mrs. Oikawa didn’t want to ruin the moment between the brother and
sister, she coughed into her hand, effectively stopping the two gingers. They
both looked up with tear filled eyes and smiles fading ever so slightly. “Sorry
to interrupt.” The woman giggled at Shouyou’s ever reddening face. “Natsu,
honey. It’s time to leave. Go get your school bag and shoes.” The small girl
pouted, but slid off the couch and ran out of the living room anyway.
 
Shouyou stood up from his spot as well. His brown eyes trailed to the floor,
while his fingers twisted together in a nervous habit. “Thank you…” He muttered
quietly, instantly reverting to the broken child that Mrs. Oikawa met the first
time. “..for doing all of this.” He looked up and met eyes with the mother of
his rival. “Housing us. Taking Natsu to school and picking her up.
Just..everything. Nothing I do could ever repay you for what you’ve done for my
sister and I.”
 
“Oh, dear.” Mrs. Oikawa swooned, hugging Shouyou to her. “You don’t need to
thank me, or repay me in anyway. All I want is to give you and Natsu the
childhood you deserve.” Shouyou hiccuped, beginning to mumble incoherent words
that could only be interpreted as ‘thank you’s. “Now, are you sure you’ll be
okay here on your own?” The woman tilted Shouyou’s head up.
 
“Yes ma’am.” Shouyou nodded, giving his best smile.
 
The older woman sighed unsurely. “I can take another few days at work if you’re
not comfortable yet, Shou-chan.”
 
Shouyou rapidly shook his head at that. “No no no! You don’t have to worry
about me. Promis!”
 
“Well, if you’re sure.” Mrs. Oikawa said hesitantly. “If you need anything,
call me right away. You have my number. And if you’re hungry, there is food in
the fridge that you can warm up. Or if you don’t want left overs, there is some
simple foods you can prepare in the cabinet and fridge, like sandwiches or
ramen. Help yourself, okay?” Shouyou gave a nod to reassure the older woman
that he’d be fine.
 
“Ready!” Natsu called from the hallway, both Shouyou and Mrs. Oikawa turning at
the sound of the girl’s voice.
 
“We’ll be leaving then, okay?” The brunette haired woman turned back to
Shouyou. “Call if you need anything. I’ll pick up right away.” Another nod from
the auburn haired teen. Mrs. Oikawa exited the living room and headed toward
the front door, where Natsu bounced impatiently. Shouyou followed, stopping a
few feet away and leaned against the wall to his left.
 
“Bye nii-chan!” Natsu waved enthusiastically, and rushed out the door toward
the car out in the driveway. Shouyou waved back, receiving another smile from
Oikawa’s mother before the door shut and clicked locked.
 
                                     -----
                                        
Shouyou was completely alone now that everyone had left for work and school
After his sister and Mrs. Oikawa had left, Shouyou had migrated back to the
living room. There was nothing to do. Well, nothing that interested Shouyou.
The tv was turned off and the blinds were shut, leaving Shouyou in the darkened
room. The teen sighed, patting at the pants he was wearing in order to search
for his phone. Find that he had left the object in his room, Shouyou pushed
himself up from the couch again to get it from his room.
 
In no time at all, Shouyou made it to the second floor and down the hall to one
of two guest room that he and Natsu were occupying. Shouyou opened the door to
the room that he was staying in and slipped inside the darkened space. With a
few steps forward, the teen reached the bedside table, where is light orange
phone rested. Shouyou picked it up and opened it. He tapped at the keys,
opening the messaging application, finding that he has two new messages. Both
of them were from the same person, Kageyama. Shouyou opened the message that
was sent in first at six o’clock this morning.
 
To: Dumbass Shouyou
From: BaKageyama
Subject: none
 
Morning Dumbass.
 
Shouyou snorted at the context of the first message from his partner. The
corner of his lips quirked up in the smallest of smiles. Next, Shouyou opened
up the second message that he received at seven ten.
 
To: Dumbass Shouyou
From: BaKageyama
Subject: Are you even awake yet?
 
Just got to school. About to start practice. The team says they miss you. Reply
to their texts too idiot.
 
The last two sentense made Shouyou frown. He’s opened and read everyone of the
texts that his other teammates have been sending him. He’s read them dozens of
times, over and over. So much that he could reiterate perfectly what each of
his friends had sent. But even so, he never replied to any of them. Hell,
Shouyou didn’t even reply to Kageyama’s texts. Shouyou felt like he couldn’t.
There was nothing for him to say to them, at least, over text. Everything that
the ginger wanted to say had to be said in person.
 
Shouyou snapped his phone shut, with a sigh leaving his lips. The boy sat upon
the bed that he had just gotten out of roughly twenty minutes ago. Once he sat
down, Shouyou couldn’t help but to fall back into the soft blankets and wrap
himself in the comfort. He twisted and turned, finally finding himself
comfortable on his back. He stared up at the white ceiling again, before slowly
closing his eyes.
 
The sun child tried to clear his head, but his thought only pooled together
again. With nothing else to do, Shouyou thought that he might as well try to
sort himself out--his feelings, his thoughts, just everything that was going
on. And  a lot  has been going on.
 
Shouyou sort of felt like he was a prisoner, trapped within this house. As if
he was trapped by people that constantly watched over him. He knew though, that
everyone was just trying to help him, and he truly appreciates their concern.
Really, Shouyou did. But it was all so suffocating, being watched over and
checked on so frequently. There was no longer that feeling of being all alone.
Being alone was something that Shouyou had grown accustomed to; grown to expect
it. And now there were just so many people that cared. Shouyou missed the
lonely and the quiet. He was grateful that the fear had been factored out of
the equation now.
 
Now, Shouyou didn’t have to constantly fear that his pathetic excuse of a
father would barge into his room in the middle of the night to beat him.
Shouyou didn’t have to worry about Natsu being targeted or subject to cruel
abuse like he had. She was finally out of harm’s way. No more did Shouyou have
to keep looking over his shoulder for the man that made his life hell.
 
Even so, Shouyou wasn’t used to being cared for anymore. It felt like it’s been
forever since he’s felt such love and compassion. He was honestly grateful to
his friends, and rivals alike. They’ve helped him all so much. And Shouyou
didn’t know how to ever repay them for taking him and his sister away from a
dark household.
 
Slowly, the teen was startled from his thoughts by his phone vibrating on his
lap. He frowned, grabbing his phone again and holding it above his face. The
screen lights up, revealing another message from Kageyama, sent at seven fifty-
two. Just how long was Shouyou stuck in thought? Shouyou didn’t hesitate to
open the message.
 
To: Dumbass Shouyou
From: BaKageyama
Subject: News 1/2
 
Ukai just finished practice with an announcement. I think you’ll be excited to
hear.
 
Not even a second after Shouyou finished reading the message, his phone
vibrated again with another new message.
 
To: Dumbass Shouyou
From: BaKageyama
Subject: News 2/2
 
There’s going to be a training camp in Tokyo in a week. So hurry up and come
back to school dumbass.
 
A familiar flutter of excitement bloomed in Shouyou’s chest. He wanted to go
too. He wanted to play volleyball again. To feel the stinging in his palm after
successfully spiking a toss from Kageyama. To hear his teammates shout words of
encouragement like, ‘God job Shouyou!’ or ‘Nice spike!’ and ‘Give us another
Hinata!’ Shouyou missed it all. Hell, he even missed Tsukishima’s constant
uttering of ‘damn shrimp.’ Shouyou missed his teammates. His friends. His
family.
 
The excitement in Shouyou’s chest quickly turned into a painful burning
sensation. Shouyou took a fistful of his shirt and curled himself to a ball
underneath his covers. He clenched his eyes tight and panted. He wanted to
scream, but he choked on the sounds. Shouyou gasped for air. Tears began to
pool at the edge of his eyes. And Shouyou couldn’t breathe. The loneliness was
tearing at the insides of Shouyou’s chest. He missed the sense of normalcy that
he no longer had. SHouyou would now  always be pitied ; looked down on and seen
as the ‘abused kid.’ His friends and teachers would all treat him differently.
 
Kageyama  treats him differently now. The setter is nicer, calmer, more
patient.
 
Even  Tsukishima  for Christ’s sake, getting all worked up and yelling at
Shouyou in the hospital. The blonde actually expressed emotions in front of
others that wasn’t Yamaguchi.
 
Shouyou didn’t want any of that. He wanted everything to be normal again, back
to the way things were before all of this shit happened. He wanted Kageyama to
keep calling him ‘dumbass’ and  meaning  it. For Tsukishima to ignore him. For
his teachers to scold him for falling asleep in class. For his classmates to
tease him about being the volleyball team’s ‘bag boy.’ For his teammates to
laugh at him when he messed up and then correct him.
 
To have his family again. His mother to be okay and happy. Natsu to be worry
free.
 
His dad to have never showed up.
 
The screams finally broke past Shouyou’s lips, coming out in a painful shriek.
Through that one scream, Shouyou released all of his anguish and dread. The
screech fell onto deaf ears, as the Oikawa residence was still unoccupied by
everyone except Shouyou.
 
For the first time since everything began to change, Shouyou allowed himself to
cry for himself, and only himself.
Chapter End Notes
     This is sort of a filler chapter for all the shit that may or may not
     go down in the next chapter, so that's why this is a pretty short
     chapter. Sorry it took so long to write this! I had so much on my
     plate for the past month. My friend just turned 18 on Nov 25, and I
     was apart of her debut (It's like a quincenera, but in my culture we
     do it at 18). I was apart of her court and twice a week we had
     practice to learn the routine for the waltz and swing dances. THEN I
     was also working on a solo that I'd be dancing at her party. AND THEN
     I had hula practice (the Hawaiian dancing) cuz we have a big
     performance coming up in Feb. And yeah. It's been hectic. Hell, I
     don't even know if any of you are reading this note lmao. Oh well.
***** Heart to Heart *****
Chapter Summary
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
     Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression,
     Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harassment
     (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to
     be added)
     !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
Chapter Notes
     Just another note that I failed to mention at the beginning of this
     fic. When Shouyou first starts “acting weird” it’s supposed to take
     place just before Inter High. And I realized while writing this
     particular chapter, that my timeline is off. I originally wanted this
     to take place before Inter High and all that, but I think that for
     the better of the plot, this whole fic takes place just after the
     Inter High. I’ll probably go back sometime in the future to edit the
     chapters to fit this new timeline I’m writing in. Bear with me if the
     earlier chapters don’t line up with this or future chapters. Thank
     you.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
 
Without even realizing it, Shouyou had fallen asleep again. He had woken up for
the second time that day at eleven thirty-three. Shouyou blinked blearily,
sitting up from his bed. He felt groggy, having slept another four hours on top
of the eight hours he slept last night. Shouyou moved to get up. A sudden wave
of nausea hit Shouyou, pushing his back first onto his bed. The teen groaned,
and pushed himself up one more time. When he thought that he wouldn’t get dizzy
again, Shouyou stood up and walked over to his dresser because maybe a shower
would wake him up. He gathered his belongings, consisting of a large, fuzzy
yellow towel and a full change of clothes.
 
Shouyou exited out into the hallway and turned into the bathroom that he shared
with Oikawa. The house had three bathrooms, only two baths. There was the
bathroom downstairs that only had a toilet and a sink. The two bathrooms
upstairs had the baths and/or showers. There was the bathroom that Oikawa and
Shouyou shared and then there was the bathroom that was attached to the master
bedroom, in which Mrs. Oikawa shared with Natsu. The first year neatly arranged
his clothing along the sink counter, as well as hanging his towel on the
railing closest to the bath.
 
In swift, practiced movements, Shouyou pulled his clothing off. It left him
bare. Though Shouyou didn’t look at himself in the mirror, he couldn’t help but
stare down at his too skinny body. His pale body had lost nearly all of the
lean muscle it had built from volleyball training, leaving him nothing but
portions of baby fat around his stomach, underarms, hips, and thighs. These
areas weren’t hardened by muscle anymore. They were squishy. And Shouyou was
appalled by this because even though he had no more muscle--only being left
with fat--he was still too skinny. Along his chest, he could see the faintest
outline of his ribs. The same thing shown along his hips, where he could see
the disgusting ‘v’ to his pelvis.
 
Shouyou gagged at the sight of himself. How was it possible to be fat and
skinny at the same time? Shouyou choked on something invisible. He crouched
over the toilet and started spitting up bile. It left a nasty taste in
Shouyou’s mouth. When Shouyou realized that he was only dry heaving now, he
lifted himself up and turned the shower on. This time he tried to ignore the
fact that his fingers were to boney. It took a few minutes to heat up to a
temperature that Shouyou was comfortable with. Shouyou stepped into the bath,
letting the steaming water pool over his shoulders. He closed his eyes at the
comforting feeling of heat encasing him. He stood here for who knows how long,
just letting the hot water work over him. Finally, Shouyou proceeded with the
rest of his shower.
 
When he was done, Shouyou reached out of the bath to grab the fluffy yellow
towel. He worked on drying his body before exiting the steam filled shower.
Shouyou climbed out of the bath with the towel tied over his hips. This time,
Shouyou didn’t even spare a glance down at his body. Instead, he focused all of
his attention into getting dressed. First he pulled on a tank top. Then his
shirt, followed by the thickest sweater he owned. He was cold. Shouyou untied
his towel, throwing it around his neck. He slipped into his boxers and some
sweats. As he exited the bathroom, we was sure to leave the bathroom door open
so that the steam could lift. Walking down the hall, Shouyou dried his short
hair thoroughly. He came to his room, where he threw the towel onto the bed,
exchanging it with his phone.
 
Shouyou made his way back downstairs and into the kitchen, where he glanced at
the clock on the oven. It was now just past noon. Mrs. Oikawa and Natsu would
be home around four, if they came straight from Natsu’s daycare. Sometimes Mrs.
Oikawa would have to run errands after picking up Natsu and would come back
later. Shouyou turned away from the clock, glancing at the fridge. Even though
Shouyou wasn’t really hungry, he opened the fridge and scrounged around for
food. Shouyou found some leftovers from last night. It was katsudon. He
shrugged to himself, transferring a little bit of the food into another bowl to
heat up. The inserted the bowl into the microwave and set the timer for two
minutes.
 
As Shouyou’s brunch heated up, he pulled his phone from the pocket of is sweats
and opened the device. Not to his surprise, there was a new message from
Kageyama. He probably just started lunch break.
 
To: Dumbass Shouyou
From: BaKageyama
Subject: Update on Training Camp
 
Just started lunch break. I heard from Daichi-san that we’re leaving for camp
next Thursday night. Well be in Tokyo until Sunday morning, and leaving back
here Sunday afternoon before lunch.
 
If you’re gonna come you have to talk to Coach Ukai, Takeda-sensei, and Daichi-
san.
 
Shouyou really wanted to go, even if the coach banned him from playing. He
wanted to be there, in Tokyo, with the team. For just a moment, he didn’t care
about the reactions of his friends on his rival teams when they saw how
different he was. For just a moment, Shouyou didn’t care how different everyone
would treat him. Maybe all of the pitying glances would be worth it if he had
volleyball back again. Shouyou was startled from his train of thought when
microwave rang throughout the kitchen. His food was done.
 
Shaking his head, Shouyou placed his phone down on the dining table in order to
get his food. In the instant that the teen opened the microwave, he felt
nauseous just smelling the reheated katsudon. Still, he pulled the food out and
onto the counter. Shouyou took a pair of chopsticks from the utensil drawer and
picked up his food again. Moving to the dining table, he sat down and stared at
his serving. It seemed like so little food when he transferred it from the
tubberware just a few minutes prior. Now it suddenly seemed like so much. The
sight of his body came into mind, and even though the smell was atrocious,
Shouyou finished all of it.
 
The teen took his bowl to the sink and washed the bowl and chopsticks before
drying them and putting them away. Shouyou grabbed his phone and went to watch
in the living room until Mrs. Oikawa and Natsu get home. He plopped down onto
the couch, reaching for the remote and turning the tv onto some random channel
that he wasn’t really watching.
 
                                     -----
                                        
Oikawa and Iwaizumi both grumbled at the note that was taped to the gym doors.
 
Volleyball Team,
 
Practice is cancelled today because the basketball team will be needing this
gym for their scrimmage that will be taking place at 4:30pm. Whoever has the
keys to the gym, please take them to the faculty office to give to the
basketball coach, Mineyoshi-sensei.
 
Coach Irihata and Coach Mizoguchi
 
The two third years sighed at the late notice of practice being cancelled.
“I’ll go back to the club room to let the others know that practice is
cancelled. Go drop the gym key off at the faculty office.” Iwaizumi ordered,
already turning to leave the brunette. The captain sighed, but nodded. Oikawa
made his way back to the school’s main building.
 
Once the volleyball teams club room was cleared of all of its occupants,
Iwaizumi walked toward the school’s main gates. Oikawa was already waiting
there, waving to Hanamaki and Matsukawa--who were most likely heading to the
latter’s house to either study or play video games. Oikawa turned at the sound
of Iwaizumi approaching. He smiled softly. “Coming back with me?” The brunette
asked.
 
Iwaizumi nodded his head. “Yeah. I wanna apologize to Hinata.”
 
Oikawa chuckled. “Figured.” He gave a sideway glance toward his best friend.
“You’ve gotten soft Iwa-chan.”
 
“Shut up.” The ace grumbled, figuring that it wasn’t worth the effort to try
and his the teasing setter. The two third years walked back to the Oikawa
residence in utter silence. That’s how it was between them though. They didn’t
need pointless discussion to be around one another, though Iwaizumi figured
that Oikawa did it just to be annoying. He wouldn’t put it past the brunette.
 
When the two finally reached Oikawa’s house, the aforementioned teen was
already pulling out his house key from his school bag. He slid the metallic
piece into the keyhole, and turned it clockwise. There was a click on the lock
and Oikawa pushed the door open. “We’re back.” He called, walking in. Iwaizumi
followed closely, not bothering with the greeting since he was over often
enough. The ace closed the door behind him upon entering. “Shou-chan?” Oikawa
called again, as he slipped his shoes off. Iwaizumi did the same.
 
Shouyou poked his head out from the living room, eyebrows scrunched up and nose
crinkled. Both Iwaizumi and Oikawa found it endearing. “You’re back already? It
barely three thirty. What happened to practice?” Shouyou fully came out from
the living room to meet the two third years.
 
“Ah, practice was cancelled. The basketball team needed the gym today.”
Iwaizumi explained briefly. Shouyou nodded his head. “How was your day,
Hinata?”
 
Shouyou shrugged meekly, twisting his fingers into the bottom of his shirt.
“Nothing special. Boring.”
 
Oikawa smiled. “Sorry to hear that there was nothing for you to do.” The setter
glanced at his best friend, then to the ginger. “Have you eaten anything Shou-
chan? Want me and Iwa-chan to cook something for you?”
 
The younger male shook his head. “I ate around noon. But I’m not hungry yet.
Thanks though.” Shouyou muttered, biting his bottom lip. Over the few weeks,
Oikawa and Iwaizumi noticed that Shouyou picked up various nervous habits. For
example, playing with his shirt, biting his lip, playing with his fingers,
rubbing the back of his neck or arms, and playing with his hair. They were all
easy to pick up on. But the two third years knew when not to push.
 
Oikawa hummed, thinking of something to say. “Well, if you’re up for it, wanna
toss a volleyball back and forth?” Shouyou snapped his head up from looking at
the floor. He looked surprised, happy. Oikawa grinned at that. To his left,
Iwaizumi looked equally stunned, unsure.
 
“R-really?” Shouyou asked, watching the setter carefully.
 
“Yup. I won’t let you do any spiking though. Nothing to exerting. Just passing
the ball back and forth, got it.” Oikawa said sternly. Shouyou smiled, albeit
it wasn’t as wide as the two upperclassmen were used to. But it was still
something. It was still that unabashed, pure, genuine smile that was strictly
Shouyou’s. And for just a second, Iwaizumi and Oikawa saw a flash of the
Shouyou that they’d met at their first practice match against each other.
“Let’s head to the backyard then. Shou-chan, you should put on shoes. Just in
case.” Shouyou nodded, and went to get his volleyball shoes from his room.
 
“Are you sure about this?” Iwaizumi asked unsurely, watching as Shouyou
disappeared upstairs. “His body may still not be able to handle any more
physical activity than walking.” Oikawa shrugged.
 
“I promise I won’t let him do anything that requires him to run around.” Oikawa
said quietly. “But did you see that Iwa-chan? How Shou-chan looked so happy. I
can’t say no now.” The setter continued fondly.
                                     -----
                                        
Mrs. Oikawa stepped inside her home around four forty-five. Natsu rushed
inside, already calling for her brother. The young girl slipped her shoes off,
fixing them next to two pairs of school shoes. Mrs. Oikawa smiled, noticing
that her son and Hajime her home early. “Natsu, wash up before you look for
Shouyou.” She called out to the energetic girl. Natsu sped out of the living
room, and down the hall into the bathroom. Mrs. Oikawa went to the kitchen,
placing her belongings on the dining room table. “Tooru? Shouyou? Hajime?” She
called out for the three teens, but there was no response from any of them. The
woman paused listening for any movement from upstairs. “Boys?” She called
again, walking toward the bottom of the stairs.
 
“Auntie!” Natsu gushed from the back of the house. Mrs. Oikawa followed the
girl’s voice. Natsu was pressed against the glass sliding door that led to the
backyard. Her eyes were widen and her smile wasn’t anything less of the
happiest grin that has even been seen on the girl’s face. “Look! Nii-chan!”
Natsu pointed outside, not taking her eyes off whatever she was staring at.
 
Mrs. Oikawa moved to look outside in her backyard. And the sight brought tears
to her eyes. Outside were the three missing teens that she had been calling
for. They stood outside in a triangular formation, lightly tossing a volleyball
around. And then there was Shouyou, who was smiling wide. Though every now and
then he dropped the ball and messed up the rally, his smile didn’t falter. She
saw how her son and Hajime spoke, assuming that they were telling Shouyou to
brush it off. She saw how Shouyou would pout, click his tongue, and start the
rally again with another grin.
 
It was the happiest she’s seen Shouyou since he woke up in the hospital. She
gasped and sobbed happily, covering her lips with her hand. Natsu squealed,
throwing the sliding door open and demanding that she join the game. Shouyou
hugged his little sister and smiled at Mrs. Oikawa that was at the door. The
older woman laughed, wiping her tears away. “I’ll bring out snacks for you
all.” The three boys thanked her, before starting another rally, this time with
Natsu joining in.
 
And Mrs. Oikawa thought that things might turn out just fine.
 
                                     -----
                                        
Later on dinner was set at the table and everyone was seated. Iwaizumi was also
invited--forced--to say over for dinner by Mrs. Oikawa. Everyone was served,
and thanked the brunette haired woman for the food. Shouyou helped Natsu cut
her meat, before slowly picking at his own. This time, the smell wasn’t as
disgusting as his lunch earlier that day. Shouyou figured that it was because
he worked up an appetite after the small amount of exercise he got today. So it
was easier to eat this time.
 
Shouyou cleared his throat. “Um.” Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Natsu, and Mrs. Oikawa
looked at the ginger haired boy. “I-I want to go back to school. I th-think I’m
better now, and-”
 
“Of course.” Shouyou was startled by the quick response from Oikawa’s mother.
She was smiling softly. “I think you’re okay to go to school now, but I didn’t
want to force you if your weren’t ready. I’m glad you brought it up on your
own.”
 
Oikawa and Iwaizumi nodded their heads. “We didn’t want you to feel pressured
Hinata.” Iwaizumi stated. “Like you had to go to school right away, even though
you were feeling your best.”
 
“So, I can? Tomorrow?” Shouyou asked hopefully. “I-I think I also have to talk
with my friends, the team. I think they deserve an explanation..” Shouyou
chuckled nervously, resorting in one of his many nervous habits--biting his
lip.
 
“You don’t need to force yourself, Shou-chan.” Oikawa piped up. “If you don’t
think you’re ready to confront your team about everything, I’m sure they’d
respect your wishes. Don’t feel obligated to tell them everything right away.”
The setter spoke softly.
 
Shouyou shook his head. “I’m not thinking about it like that. I really want to
talk to them.” He sighed. “I’ve been ignoring their texts since the hospital,
and I think it would be best for me to talk to them as soon as possible.”
 
“If that’s your decision, then I’d be happy to call Karasuno tomorrow morning
and let them know you’d be coming back.” Mrs. Oikawa smiled. She was so happy
that Shouyou was making an effort to get better, to move on. But at the same
time, she felt that Shouyou was trying to get better too fast. She’d have to
ask Shouyou’s volleyball coach and advisor to watch after him. Though she’s
sure that they would even if she didn’t ask.
 
“Y-yes please.” Shouyou muttered quietly.
 
“Then it’s settled. I’ll let your school know the second the office opens.”
Mrs. Oikawa reassured. “If you’re going to go back tomorrow, make sure you have
everything ready. Leave your uniform by your door and I’ll wash it tonight for
you.” Shouyou uttered at small ‘yes ma’am’ and that was the end of the
conversation.
 
Shouyou was going back to school tomorrow.
 
And tomorrow night, he’d ask about the training camp.
 
                                     -----
                                        
The following morning was a Thursday.
 
Shouyou woke up at six thirty, an hour and a half later than he’d normal wake
up when he lived with his dad. The Oikawa’s lived closer to Karasuno than where
he previously did, so he was able to wake up later and still get to school on
time. Shouyou thought that that was convenient. He got up from his bed and
moved to get his uniform from the laundry downstairs. As promised, Shouyou
found his uniform freshly washed and neatly folded in a blue basket atop the
dryer. He grabbed his uniform and made his way back upstairs to change.
 
For a moment, the uniform looked weird on Shouyou’s thin body. Had it always
been this big? Shouyou tucked his shirt into his pants and slipped on his lime
green sweatshirt that he always wore over his uniform. Then Shouyou grabbed his
school blazer and threw it on. Shouyou peeked outside his room and down the
hall to the bathroom, just in time to see Oikawa exit. The third year wasn’t
dressed yet, but he disappeared behind his bedroom door to do so. Shouyou
scuttled down the hall and into the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and fixed
his hair to the best of his ability. Shouyou hear a series of footsteps patter
past the door and down the stairs. He turned off the water in the sink and
dried his hands. When finished, Shouyou moved back to his room to grab his
school bag and his phone.
 
The boy was greeted with a series of ‘good mornings’ as he entered the kitchen.
“Shou-chan, you look great!” Oikawa teased, ruffling the first year’s hair.
Shouyou frowned, swatting the third year away. “Nervous?” The brunette
continued to tease.
 
“N-no!” Shouyou half heartedly retorted. “Shut up.” He sighed and sat next to
Natsu. The girl was coloring at the dining table again. Shouyou pulled out his
phone, glancing at the time. It was six forty. He pulled out his phone and
started up a new group text.
 
Group Name: Volleyball Club
To: Daichi-san, Suga-san, Asahi-san, Tanaka-senpai, Noya-senpai, Ennoshita-san,
Narita-san, Kinoshita-san, Yama, TsundereTsuki, BaKageyama, Coach, Takeda-
sensei, Shimizu-san
From: Hinata
Subject: I’m coming back today.
 
Can we talk?
 
Shouyou hit send before he chickened out. He hastily closed his phone and
shoved the device into his pants pocket.
 
                                     -----
                                        
Karasuno’s volleyball team was currently in their club room, with the exception
of the coaches and the managers. The room full of teenage boys jumped at the
sound of phones vibrating. Every one of them checked their phones to see who
had gotten a message. With each of them seeing their screens, the air in the
room got thick with silence, anxiety, dread.
 
Group Name: Volleyball Club
To: Daichi-san, Suga-san, Asahi-san, Tanaka-senpai, Noya-senpai, Ennoshita-san,
Narita-san, Kinoshita-san, Yama, TsundereTsuki, BaKageyama, Coach, Takeda-
sensei, Shimizu-san
From: Hinata
Subject: I’m coming back today.
 
Can we talk?
 
Many thoughts were swirling through the team’s heads. On one side, Hinata was
coming back to school today. That was great! That meant that Shouyou was even
just a little bit better than he was when they last saw him. It was certainly
good news. Definitely. But on the other hand, Shouyou’s message was vague and
left a bad taste in their mouths.  ‘Can we talk?’  What did that mean? There
were no other details included in the message. There were no emojis or extra
exclamation points that they were all so used to seeing when getting a message
from Shouyou. It was short and to the point. It sounded so serious, and could
be interpreted in so many different ways.
 
“What do you think he means?” Tanaka, not surprisingly, was the first to break
the silence. The second year looked up at his peers, waiting for an answer that
no one had.
 
“I don’t know.” Daichi responded with a frown. He stuffed his phone back into
his bag. “We’ll just have to wait until he gets here.”

Sugawara copied the captains movements. “Daichi’s right. For now, let’s all get
to the gym.”
 
All at once, everyone started to move. They all filtered out of the clubroom
and toward the gym. When they walked inside, the group of noticed their coach
and advisor quietly speaking amongst themselves, their phones in hand. Shouyou
had sent them the message too, along with Kiyoko. The team’s newest member,
Hitoka Yachi--a small first year girl that Kiyoko had recruited--looked around
with furrowed eyebrows. She didn’t know Shouyou, or anything about their
missing member. A week ago the team was measured again to get their uniforms
resized for the Spring tournament. When the team got their uniforms back, the
team had to try them on to make sure that the uniforms fit. Yachi had asked why
there was a gap in the numbers, between jersey nine and eleven. That was the
first time they told her about Hinata, but no one mentioned why he was absent.
“Shimizu-san?” Yachi looked up at Kiyoko, but the older manager shook her head.
 
“I’ll tell you about it later.” Kiyoko smiled softly, and the smaller blonde
haired girl nodded her hair.
 
Throughout the first half hour was morning practice, the team was visibly
tense. They missed tossed and spikes, moving slower than usual. Yachi had never
seen them have such an off day. Ukai, nor Takeda, commented on it though. The
two adults were awfully quiet themselves. Reaching forty minutes into practice,
the gym doors slid open. Everyone paused in their spots, whipping to look at
the figure in the doors.
 
Shouyou was standing there, head tilted down and his right hand running up and
down his left arm. “S-sorry I’m late. I had to get somethings cleared up in the
faculty office.” The boy muttered, glancing up at his team.
 
“Sh-Shouyou!” Nishinoya screeched, running toward the ginger. The libero
stretched his arms around the boy and pulled the first year into a tight hug.
Slowly, the rest of the time lined up to greet Shouyou.
 
“How are you Shouyou?” Sugawara asked with a small smile.
 
Shouyou looked up at the ashen haired third year. “I’m okay..I guess.” He
shrugged, followed by an airy, awkward chuckle. “I-is practice over?”
 
“We’re just about done for the day.” Ukai announced, before anyone else could
say otherwise. “You said you wanted to talk Hinata?”
 
Shouyou stiffened, which was easily noticed by his team. “Um, yeah. If that’s
okay.”
 
Takeda smiled as encouragingly as possible. “Of course, Hinata.” The team
migrated to the benches, where they sat on the floor around Shouyou--who was
too anxious to sit with them.
 
“First Hinata-kun, I’d like to introduce you to the team’s newest manager.”
Kiyoko spoke, motioning to the blonde girl besides her. “This is Hitoka,
Yachi.” The girl bowed her head swiftly, greeting Shouyou.
 
“I-it’s nice to finally meet you Hinata-kun!” Yachi stuttered, shyly.
 
Shouyou tensed up even further. “A-ah, Yes. N-nice to meet you, Hi-Hitoka-san.”
The boy bowed back to the girl. After the introduction, Shouyou turned back to
the team. Having a new face in the crowd was even more nerve wracking than
having just the others around. But Shouyou took a deep breath, in an attempt to
calm himself. The reassuring ‘take your time’ from Asahi made Shouyou feel a
lot better. With another breath, Shouyou bowed to the team. “First I want to
apologize for the way I’ve been rudely ignoring you all for the past two weeks.
Even after all of your help, I pushed you all away again and even ignored you.
I’m sorry.”
 
“Hinata.” Daichi frowned. “You don’t have to apologize for that.”
 
“Yeah, idiot.” Kageyama scowled. “It’s understandable after everything that
happened. No one’s mad at you.”
 
Shouyou stood up straight, biting his lips again. “Even if you say that, I’d
still like to apologize. I’m really thankful for all of your support and help.
There’s nothing I can do to pay back even a fraction of the help you all gave
me.” Shouyou paused to breathe. “Also, I’m sorry that I pushed you all away at
first. I was scared for myself and my sister. I’m sorry that you all found out
the way you did, and if I could turn back time, I’d ask for your help because I
know much better now that you guys are all here and I’m grateful.” Shouyou took
another breath and stood up straight. He pushed his shoulders down and smiled
at his team. “Finally, I want to tell you guys that I’m going to try and get
better. It may not happen right away, but I’m gonna try. I’m seriously sick of
being sad all the time. So this time, I’m going to ask properly.” Shouyou bowed
in a perfectly 90 degree angle, hands plastered to his sides. “Please continue
to help and support me.”
 
The gym was silent. Shouyou’s word processing in the team’s heads.
 
“SHOUYOU!” “HINATA!” Tanaka and Nishinoya propelled themselves forward,
tackling the auburn haired teen to the ground. “OF COURSE WE’LL SUPPORT YOU!!”
The two second years wailed with tears streaming down their cheeks.
 
The rest of the team--excluding the poor, confused Yachi--began to tear up and
cry. Daichi hid his crying by laughing  deeply, working on detaching Nishinoya
and Tanaka from the small middle blocker. Sugawara tears came out freely,
pulling Shouyou up off the ground and into his arms. Asahi cried, clapping his
hands joyfully. Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita piled around Sugawara, patting
Shouyou’s head and rubbing his back. Yamaguchi cried openly, taking Shouyou
into a hug after Sugawara was finally willing to let the ginger go. Tsukishima
hid his tears by pretending to clean his glasses, muttering ‘about time
shrimp.’ Kageyama rolled his eyes and scowled, his own way of hiding the
absolute relief and happiness. Kiyoko was the next person to hug Shouyou. Ukai
clapped the decoy on the back and Takeda ruffled Shouyou’s hair.
 
“Um, excuse me.” The moment was ruined by Yachi’s confused voice. “But I don’t
understand.” The team paused for a minute, before laughing good naturedly.
Yachi squeaked, looking around at the volleyball members.
 
Kiyoko smiled. “May I explain Hinata-kun?” The third year manager asked softly.
 
“S-sure.” On the contrary, Shouyou sounded a bit unsure. “Hitoka-san is bound
to find out sometime.” This time he sounded more confident. Kiyoko nodded her
head, dismissing herself and Yachi to the girl’s locker room.
 
Ukai quickly dismissed morning practice, leaving back to tend to the
Sakanoshita store at the bottom of the hill. Takeda excused himself to go to
the faculty office before classes started. And the majority of the team left
back to the club room to change into their uniforms, but not without giving
Shouyou one more pat on the back, or ruffling his hair, or saying ‘glad to have
you back.’
 
Shouyou sighed, glad that that was all over. Someone cleared their throat
behind him. Shouyou spun around on his heels, coming face-to-face with
Tsukishima and Kageyama. The smaller first year was a bit surprised to see the
two of them. They could hardly stand one another, so occurrences like this were
beyond rare. “C-can I help you?” Shouyou asked unsurely.
 
“You’re really okay, Hinata?” Kageyama questioned, eyes narrowing. If Shouyou
didn’t know the setter like he did, the ginger would have thought that Kageyama
wanted to kill him at this moment. But over the few months that the middle
blocker and setter have been working together, Shouyou knew how to read
Kageyama better. He could see that the raven haired teen was genuinely
concerned.
 
“Y-yeah..Well, no..” The answer made the taller two stiffen. “B-but, I’m doing
better..Promise.” Shouyou smiled ever so slightly. Kageyama and Tsukishima
relaxed again.
 
“Good.” Kageyama glanced in between the blonde and ginger, before walking
toward the gym door. “See you in class, idiot.” Shouyou hummed in response.
 
Tsukishima and Shouyou were left in an awkward silence. Neither looking at the
other, and not saying a word. Tsukishima sighed, opening his mouth to speak,
but Shouyou beat him to it. “You promised you wouldn’t say anything back then.”
Tsukishima frowned at that. Apparently the two have been thinking about the
same thing. “You betrayed my trust.”
 
“It was for your own good.” Tsukishima answered. Shouyou looked at the blonde
skeptically.

 “Was it?” Shouyou bit back.
Tsukishima’s hazel eyes met Shouyou’s golden-brown. “Yes, it was.” The taller
male stated firmly. “I wasn’t going to watch you keep showing up with injuries
that got worse by the day. The team was already skeptical, I just helped push
them in the right direction.”
 
“You promised though.” Shouyou replied, glaring up at the blonde. “What if
everything turned out worse than what it is now?”
 
“I was willing to take the risk because you were suffering; physically,
mentally, emotionally.” Tsukishima retored. “It’s not like we liked each other
before this, so at the time I was fine with you hating me even more than you
already did. As long as you got out of that place.”
 
Shouyou scoffed. “How did you benefit from this? You seem like that type of
person?”
 
“How did I benefit?” Tsukishima repeated. “I benefited because I didn’t have to
keep hiding that I knew about what was happening in your home. It’s not all
sunshine and rainbows knowing that your friend--and dare I say it--is being
abused and you’re forced to keep quiet about it. Telling the others meant that
something could’ve been done.”
 
“F-friend?” Shouyou tilted his head. Tsukishima’s face turned pink.
 
“Shut up.” Tsukishima growled, though there wasn’t any real bite. “If you tell
anyone I said that, I swear--”
 
Shouyou cut him off. “I won’t.” The smaller male assured. “But thanks. Even
though it really hurt that you broke our promise..I’m glad it’s all over. So
thanks..I guess.”
 
Tsukishima took a small breath, staring down at Shouyou. “Your welcome.” He
muttered, turning to walk away. “Hurry up. Class is going to start soon.”
 
“Yeah. Class.” Shouyou repeated. With the smallest of smiles, Shouyou followed
after Tsukishima, closing the gym doors behind him.
Chapter End Notes
     Thank for everyone staying so loyal to this fic!! I literally love
     you all. I didn't expect such a positive response to this!! THANK YOU
     LOVES!!
     Stay tuned. Shits gonna get real.
***** Ready for Camp *****
Chapter Notes
     A long filler. ;)
     Sorry for my temporary hiatus. I honestly don't even have an excuse.
     I promise things are going to happen in the next chapter. Nekoma
     (Kuroo and Kenma lol) will finally find out what happened.
After talking with Tsukishima, the blonde parted ways with Shouyou to change in
the locker rooms. Since Shouyou didn’t participate in practice, he was already
in his school uniform. Shouyou went ahead to his homeroom instead, deciding
against waiting for Kageyama. The ginger noticed that there were many students
on campus now. Shouyou didn’t fail to notice all of the stares he was
receiving. How the other students were looking at him with judgemental gazes
and spoke in hushed whispers after he passed them in the hall. Shouyou averted
his gaze to the floor, solely focusing on getting to his class.
 
When he got to his homeroom, Shouyou could already hear people waiting inside.
He didn’t want to go inside. Besides making amends with his team, Shouyou
regretted coming back to school. He just wanted to go back home, well to
Oikawa’s home. He took a couple of small breaths, in and out. Once Shouyou felt
calm enough, he slid the door open and stepped inside. But as soon as he
stepped inside, many pairs of eyes turned to stare at him. Shouyou blinked
owlishly back at his classmates. He couldn’t help twisting his fingers around
the bottom of his shirt and turning his gaze to the ground.
 
The whispers started again as Shouyou made his way to his old desk. He hung his
school bag on the little, metal hook on the right side of the table. The chair
screeched against the floor when Shouyou pulled out his chair. He quickly took
his seat, avoiding eye contact with his classmates. “Hinata.” Shouyou flinched,
as a voice called his name. Seconds later a figure appeared next to Shouyou.
The smaller first year hesitated to look up at the person who had called his
name. When Shouyou finally managed to look up completely, he realized that it
was one of his friends; someone that he hung around with--albeit minimally--
before everything happened. “You’re--uh--finally back.” The other boy chuckled
awkwardly. His short, light brown hair swayed as he shifted from side to side.
“It’s been awhile...huh?”
 
Shouyou bit his lip, grasping at the bottom of his sweater and tried to smile
back. “Y-yeah.” The single word trailed back into silence, thickening the
tension around the two first years and the rest of the classroom.
 
Another student came up on Shouyou’s other side. A girl that Shouyou used to
talk to. She was on the girl’s softball team. “What happened to you Hinata? You
just stopped coming to school all of a sudden.” The girl asked bluntly, with a
wide, curious smile curling her lips. Shouyou noticed how she rocked back and
forth on her heels and how her right index finger twisted the end of her
ponytail.
 
“I-um..I just--it’s..” Shouyou stuttered. He didn’t know what to say and he
certainly didn’t want these people to know. Afterall, he had just barely
accepted the fact that the rest of his volleyball team knew about his
struggles. Having the rest of his class--and probably the rest of the school,
soon after--know was not appealing in the slightest. Shouyou noticed that even
though no one else in the classroom was approaching him, they all glanced over
their shoulders. They were all listening to every single word that he was
saying. All of a sudden Shouyou felt overwhelmed with the amount of people
present. There were just too many people looking at him, listening to him.
 
The door to the classroom slammed open with a loud  BAM ! All heads turned to
the culprit. Standing at the doorway were three people, all of which Shouyou
recognized immediately.
 
Kageyama. Tsukishima. Yamaguchi.
 
Their eyes were narrowed and their lips twitched into a frown. Kageyama and
Tsukishima openly glared at the people in the room, whilst Yamaguchi simply
looked like a scolding mother. Nonetheless, it was clear to see that the three
other volleyball first years were not happy. Kageyama entered the class,
practically stomping his way over to Shouyou’s desk. He glared at the boy and
girl that were previously conversing with Shouyou. Kageyama turned his eyes
back to his partner. “You don’t need to answer that Hinata.” The setter
grumbled, eyeing the others in the class. “You don’t need to answer  anybody’s
questions.”
 
“That’s right Shouyou.” Yamaguchi entered the room, coming up to the smaller
first year. He ruffled Shouyou’s hair. “Don’t force yourself okay?” The ginger
nodded at the evergreen haired pinch server. “Tsukki and I will come for lunch.
See you later.” Yamaguchi waved and left to his and Tsukishima’s homeroom.
 
Kageyama looked around the room again. “If you don’t want to talk to them, just
say it to them straight. Idiot.” Kageyama rolled his eyes. The setter turned
around and went his seat.
 
Soon after that, the bell rang for morning classes to start.
 
                                     -----
                                        
Classes were dismissed for lunch. Shouyou sighed, stretching in his seat. He
had forgotten how boring learning was. During lessons, he had also realized how
far behind he was. Shouyou sighed again, leaning to his right, where a boy sat
at the desk beside him. “Hey, Shiro-san…?” Shouyou called softly. The said boy
turned his head toward Shouyou. “M-mind if I take pictures of your notes? The
o-ones that I missed?” Shouyou’s classmate was stunned into silence because
Shouyou never asked to copy notes--only homework. Everyone in their class knew
that, and possibly everyone in their grade knew that. The auburn haired male
frowned at the lack of response. “I-is that a no?”
 
“A-ah! Sorry! Notes you said?” The boy shook his head. Shouyou nodded back.
“Yeah, um, here.” He handed the ginger his notebook.
 
“Thanks.” Shouyou tried to smile casually, but anyone could see that it was
forced. “It won’t take long.” Shouyou turned away, just as Kageyama was pushing
three other desks to line up with the small middle blocker’s. Kageyama sat down
wordlessly, looking at Shouyou carefully. Shouyou blinked at his partner. “S-
something wrong?” Kageyama shook his head. Nothing was wrong. He just wanted to
make sure that Shouyou was okay. Early that morning, the boy had seemed so
overwhelmed by the question, ‘what happened?’ And if Kageyama was being honest,
he didn’t think that Shouyou was mentally and emotionally ready to be coming
back to school. It’s only been two weeks, and what Shouyou went through wasn’t
something that he could bounce back from so easily. It would take time. And
that time wasn’t now.
 
“Hey Shouyou. Kageyama.” Yamaguchi’s voice interrupted Kageyama’s train of
thought. The small middle blocker and setter looked up at the other two first
years on their team. “How was class, Shouyou?” Yamaguchi questioned,
immediately striking up a conversation with Shouyou.
 
Shouyou shrugged, turning to the next page in his classmates notebook. “Um,
it’s hard. I don’t understand anything.” He laughed sheepishly. “I didn’t
realized how far ahead you all got. So that’s why I’m taking pictures of all
the notes I missed.” Shouyou tapped the keys on his phone and turned the page
again, repeating the action over and over.
 
Yamaguchi nodded. “Understandable.” He grinned and patted Shouyou’s shoulder.
“Don’t worry about it though. I’ll tutor you, and I’m sure Tsukki will tutor
you in English. And Yachi-san, our new manager, she’s in the honors classes.
I’m positive she’ll help you out too.”
 
Shouyou looked back at Yamaguchi, like the evergreen male was a saint.
“Really?”
 
The pinch server laughed. “Yeah. Lately, Yachi-san has been tutoring Kageyama.”
Shouyou looked at the setter with wide eyes.
 
Kageyama clicked his tongue and glared at Shouyou in response. “Don’t look at
me like that. I’m only studying because if I don’t, I can’t go to the camp next
week.” The tips on Kageyama’s ears went pink at the laughs of Yamaguchi and the
small smile on Shouyou’s lips.
 
“Maybe I’ll ask after practice..” Shouyou said quietly, finishing taking
pictures of the last few pages in his classmates notebook.  He closed the book
and leaned over to hand the object back. “Thanks.” The other boy nodded his
head, turning back to his friends. Shouyou turned back to his teammates as
well.
 
“Hey.” Tsukishima called to Shouyou. The latter looked over to the blonde
haired teen. “You’ve been living with Oikawa, right? How’s that going for you?”
 
The auburn haired teen didn’t know how to reply to that. He shrugged his
shoulders. “Come on.” Yamaguchi whined. “You’re living with our rivals that
beat us at the Inter High! There’s got to be something that you could tell us.”
The evergreen boy nudged playfully. Shouyou noticed how Yamaguchi was a lot
more outspoken now.
 
“Yeah, tell us some of Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s weaknesses.” Kageyama said, blue
eyes sparkling with interest.

 Shouyou shook his head with a tiny smile. “I haven’t been looking for that.”
Yamaguchi snapped his fingers, Kageyama clicked his tongue, and Tsukishima
rolled his eyes. “But living there is fine.” The trio glanced at Shouyou, as
the smaller first year turned to look down at his desk. “Oikawa-san and
Iwaizumi-san have been really helpful. They’re always checking on me, and
everything. And Mrs. Oikawa, letting Natsu and I stay there..” Shouyou trailed
off, thinking about all the help he’s gotten.
 
“Idiot.” Shouyou snapped his head up and stared at his partner. “Of course
people are helping you.” Kageyama got up quickly, his chair squeaking against
the tiled floor. “I’m gonna get a drink.” And with that, the blue eyed setter
stalked out of the room. The actions confused Shouyou. Kageyama seemed mad.
 
“Kageyama’s probably still irritated.” Yamaguchi frowned, turning to pat
Shouyou’s shoulder. “Don’t mind.”
 
“Irritated about what?” Shouyou questioned the pinch server. Yamaguchi chuckled
nervously, eyes looking away and lightly scratching his cheek.
 
Tsukishima looked in between his best friend and the small middle blocker.
Shouyou turned to him, waiting with curious eyes. “The King is still pretty mad
that he was one of the last to find out.” Shouyou frowned, staring at the door
in which his partner had disappeared out the classroom door. “You should talk
to the King.”
 
Shouyou nodded, “I’ll talk to him.”
 
                                     -----
                                        
The rest of the day went by pretty slowly. Shouyou was tired. As the day went
on, Shouyou had collected a lot of makeup work that he had to complete in the
next two weeks. The teen sighed, collecting all of his work and putting it
inside his bag. He threw his bag over his shoulder and left class. Kageyama had
left ahead of him in order to change. There was no point in Shouyou hurrying.
As far as he knew, Shouyou was still not allowed to play in practice.
 
Shouyou got to the gym, switching his outdoor shoes to his volleyball shoes.
The boy opened the door to the gym and walked inside. Already waiting there
were Ukai and Takeda, speaking to one another. “Hello.” Shouyou called. His
voice was quiet--although not as quiet as it’s been in the past few weeks--and
obviously laced with exhaustion. The two instructors turned away from each
other and greeted Shouyou.
 
“Hello, Hinata-kun.” Takeda smiled. “How was your first day back?” The third
year english teacher questioned. The teacher couldn’t help the small laugh that
escaped his lips at the face that Shouyou made--eyes clenched shut, nose
crinkled, and tongue sticking out.
 
The ginger set his bag down next the bench. “It was boring.” Shouyou whined. “I
have so much makeup work to complete.” He plopped down on the bench, whilst
rubbing his eyes. “With everything going on and with all the days I missed, I
got so far behind in work.”
 
Though Ukai and Takeda knew that Shouyou didn’t mean anything by it, the two
adults felt a short stab in their chest. Shouyou had been through a lot, with
getting hospitalized, his father getting arrested, and having to live
temporarily with the Oikawa’s because no family was willing to adopt both
Shouyou and Natsu. The two teachers knew how the adoption process worked. A lot
of paperwork and meetings were in order, and because of Shouyou’s age, no one
would want to adopt him. A lot of people had probably tried to adopt Natsu,
since she was still young. Takeda, nor Ukai, would be able to stand it if
Shouyou lost his sister to the adoption system. He’d probably break completely.
 
“I’m sure you’ll catch up in no time, Hinata.” Ukai grunted, in an attempt to
comfort the boy.
 
Shouyou pursed his lips. He wasn’t too sure about that, but he’d have to make
the effort. “I guess.” The gym went silent, as the three waited for the rest of
the team to finish in the locker rooms. “Coach?” Ukai looked away from the
clipboard in his hands, and down at Shouyou. “Kageyama told me that there’s a
training camp next week.”
 
The coach hummed, “Yeah, there is. Nekomata-sensei invited us to practice with
them and other schools in the Tokyo prefecture. We’ll be practicing for the
Spring High.” Ukai watched Shouyou’s expression carefully. Of course he knew
how much Shouyou wanted to be back on the team, to play with everyone again.
But Ukai couldn’t take the risk with Shouyou’s mental stability still
fluctuating. It could go two ways at this point. Either playing volleyball
again has a positive effect on Shouyou, and the boy slowly begins to get
better. Or Shouyou finds that his body won’t move the way it used to, and he
breaks down even worse than before.
 
“I see.” Shouyou blinked at the floor. “Could I come?” The question wasn’t
something that Ukai, nor Takeda, hadn’t seen coming. Obviously Shouyou wanted
to come. Before either of the adults could speak, Shouyou added, “I know I
can’t play, but I’d like to be there with the team still.”
 
“Hinata-kun..” Takeda whispered. “We know how much you want to play, but-”
 
“With everything Hinata, we need you to make a complete recovery. That doesn’t
mean just physically, but mentally too.” Ukai continued. “We don’t want things
to repeat itself, and for you to get hurt again.”
 
Shouyou looked at the two with a shocking smile. “I know.” The ginger laughed
quietly. “I thought about it, a lot. How much I want to be on the court and I
understand that if I’m not ready, I could fall back into that darkness.
Volleyball is the last physical thing I have of my mom, who told me that I
could play when everyone else said that I couldn’t. I don’t want to play when
there’s that big of a risk, and taint the good memories I have of volleyball.
So even if I get impatient and really want to be on the court, I won’t allow
myself before I’m ready.” Shoyou stared at the palms of his hands, imagining
the stinging sensation of spiking a volleyball. “But I want to come to the
camp. Because even if I can’t play, there’s a lot I can learn in technicality.”
 
Ukai and Takeda stared at Shouyou in utter silence. They were shocked. When had
Shouyou grown so much without them looking? Grins stretched upon the two
adult’s faces. “Okay.” Ukai bellowed loudly. “If you say it like that, then I
have to let you come, huh?” Shouyou’s brown eyes shone.
 
Takeda pulled a paper from his bag, holding it out for the first year to take.
“Make sure you get this signed then, and bring it back as soon as possible.”
Shouyou nodded his head, taking the paper with a smile.
 
                                     -----
                                        
Shouyou got back home rather quickly. It was five minutes before eight o’clock
when Shouyou unlocked the front door to the Oikawa residence. “I’m back.” He
called, while slipping off his shoes. The smell of food wafted from the
kitchen. Shouyou placed his bag down near the stairs, so he’d remember to bring
it upstairs later. The first year turned into the kitchen, seeing Oikawa
plating food. “Where’s Mrs. Oikawa?”
 
“Ah, welcome back Shou-chan.” Oikawa turned to look at the ginger from over his
shoulder. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. And my mom is working late at the
hospital. Natsu is upstairs playing. She already completed her homework.”
Oikawa turned back to the food. “Can you bring these to the table, Shou-chan?”


Shouyou hummed in response, walking over to Oikawa. There were three bowls of
rice sitting on the counter beside the older student. “Just these?” Shouyou
asked. Oikawa glanced over and nodded. Shouyou picked up two of the bowls and
headed to set them down on the table. When getting the third bowl, Shouyou
noticed that Oikawa was now transferring the rest of the food onto a seperate
plate.
 
“When you’re done taking that, can you get Natsu?” Oikawa asked, bringing the
rest of dinner to the table. Shouyou didn’t even reply, setting the bowl down.
The teen exited the kitchen and went to the stairs. He picked up his bag to
drop it off in his room before getting his sister. Shouyou slowly moved up the
steps. He stopped by his room, setting his school bag inside, by the door. The
boy closed his door again, and went to the second guest bedroom where his
little sister was playing.
 
“Natsu.” Shouyou called, rasping his knuckles against the wooden door. There
was giggling from the other side, before the door swung open. Shouyou was
thrown back as a small force crashed into his stomach. “Geh!” The boy grunted,
wrapping his arms around Natsu to shield her from hitting her head on the
floor. Shouyou groaned, eyes shut in attempt to will away the dizziness that he
knew would come.
 
“Nii-chan!” Natsu giggled into her brother’s chest.
 
“Oi!” Oikawa called from the bottom of the stairs. “What was that!? Are you two
okay?” The older male called.
 
Shouyou lifted both himself and Natsu into a sitting position. “Y-yeah!”
Shouyou replied to Oikawa. “We’re fine.” The third year downstairs answered
with an ‘okay,’ before going back to whatever he was doing before. The older
Hinata turned to look down at Natsu, who was grinning cheekily. “That’s not
funny you know.” He stated, but the girl only laughed louder. Shouyou shook his
head.
 
Natsu shoved a brightly colored paper into Shouyou’s face. “I drew a picture
for you nii-chan!” She squealed happily.
 
Shouyou caught a quick glance, before standing up and pulling his kid sister up
with him. “It looks nice Natsu, but it’s time to eat now. You can show me
properly after dinner okay?”
 
“‘Kay!” Natsu folded the paper up and neatly placed it into the pocket of her
shorts that she was wearing. The girl turned and skipped down the hall, and
bouncing down the stairs.
 
“Careful.” Shouyou warned and followed after the girl.
 
                                     -----
                                        
Natsu was upstairs again, getting ready for bed. Shouyou was in the kitchen
with Oikawa, helping the latter with dishes. “How was your first say back Shou-
chan?” Oikawa broke the silence, looking down at the boy that has been living
with him.
 
The smaller male pursed his lips. “Stressful.”
 
The setter chuckled. “Must have a lot of worked lined up, huh?” He looked down
at Shouyou expectantly. The first year nodded back with a frown. “If it makes
you feel better, I’ll tutor you.” Shouyou looked up at Oikawa with a small,
thankful grin.
 
“That’d be tons of help!” Shouyou finished drying the last of the dishes, when
the front door opened.
 
“I’m back.” The voice of Mrs. Oikawa rang through the house. “Boys? Natsu? You
home?” She called.
 
Oikawa dried his hands. “We’re in the kitchen, mom.” He called. Mrs. Oikawa
stepped inside her kitchen, smiling at her son and Shouyou. “Welcome back.”
Oikawa went over to his mother, placing a kiss on her cheek. The woman smiled.
 
“Welcome home, Mrs. Oikawa.” Shouyou greeted.
 
“How was your boys’ day?” The older woman questioned, setting her belongings on
the dining table. Oikawa waved his hand, muttering ‘same as always.’
 
Shouyou smiled, shrugging. “Nothing much happened.” Shouyou thought back to his
training camp. He had to get a signature of approval in order to go to camp.
“Um, Mrs. Oikawa?” The said woman looked toward Shouyou, who was putting away
the last dried dish. The boy turned around to face the woman that was housing
him. The brunette haired woman hummed, patiently awaiting with a smile on her
face. “C-can I go to a training camp with my volleyball team next week?” Both
Oikawa and his mother looked skeptical, but before either of them could say
anything, Shouyou continued. “I won’t be participating in any games, but I just
want to be there with them.” He looked down. The sense of anxiety bubbled in
his stomach, as Shouyou waited for any kind of response.
 
Mrs. Oikawa sighed, before laughing quietly. Shouyou looked up at the sound.
The older woman was hiding her smile behind her hand. Her eyes were closed and
crinkled at the corners. “You and Tooru are just alike.” She opened her eyes
and looked fondly at Shouyou. “When Tooru was little, he broke his arm in a
volleyball game. Even though he was banned from volleyball for six weeks, he
still wanted to go to all the practices and training camps that his team did.”
Shouyou blinked, looking between Oikawa and his mom. The older high schooler
blushed, turning his head away from Shouyou to hide his pout. “If you really
want to go, I’ll sign your permission slip.”
 
“Really?” Shouyou smiled slightly, eagerly staring at Mrs. Oikawa.
 
The woman laughed, nodding her head. “Yes. Now give the paper here.” Shouyou
rushed back upstairs and into his temporary room. He searched through his piles
of makeup work and finally found his permission slip. The first year pulled the
paper out and all but ran back down the stairs, into the kitchen. He handed the
paper to Oikawa’s mother, and watched as black ink danced along the white
paper. Mrs. Oikawa handed it back with another laugh.
 
Shouyou bowed his head. “Th-thank you!” It was hard for him to hide his
excitement. The sight of seeing Shouyou so happy made the Oikawas’ grin.
 
                                     -----
                                        
Over the course of a week, Shouyou was better. Since he still couldn’t
participate in practice, he spent a lot of his time studying. During lunch,
he’d spend it with Yamaguchi tutoring him and Kageyama and Tsukishima just
being there. Yachi even started eating lunch with them, letting Shouyou copy
notes and explain things that Yamaguchi couldn’t. Shouyou grew to like Yachi,
who was sweet and easily nervous. Having her around remind Shouyou that things
were okay and that there was nothing to be worried about. Yachi practically the
only one that didn’t look at Shouyou with judgemental eyes. She didn’t speak to
him slowly or quietly and to top it all off, she was nice and easy to get along
with.
 
Shouyou even started studying while in the gym during morning and afternoon
practices. “Hinata-kun?” Takeda had asked him on Tuesday, couple days before
the training camp. “Why don’t you study in the library or at home? Where it’s
more quiet? You could probably concentrate better that way.”
 
The redhead didn’t look up from his paper or notebook, shaking his head. “I’m
okay here, sensei.” Shouyou scrawled a couple more words down and smiled at the
English teacher. “The sounds in the gym here are soothing. I can’t concentrate
well if it’s completely quiet.” Shouyou’s eyes softened and the smile got
smaller. “Honestly, it’s scary when things are quiet.” He had whispered, low
enough for only the teacher to hear. And Takeda had never bothered Shouyou’s
studying in the gym again.
 
When Shouyou wasn’t studying, he was drawing. He’d picked up on it on the
Friday after his first day back. The first day went by easily enough, but the
second day back seemed even more difficult. Shouyou couldn’t focus at all that
day, having to get notes from Shiro-san again and getting Tsukishima to work
with him during lunch. When classes started up again after lunch, Shouyou had
been too distracted and started drawing in his notebook.
 
Later that day, during practice, Tanaka had seen the picture Shouyou had drawn
while the latter was studying. “You should draw more Hinata.” The wing spiker
grinned cheekily. “You’re really good. It’s surprising to see that you’re good
at something other than volleyball.” After hearing that comment, everyone on
the team had seen and complimented the picture.
 
Finally a full week had passed and it was time for the training camp.
 
Shouyou stepped out of Mrs. Oikawa’s car that was parked in front of his
school. The teen turned around to pull his bag out from the back seat. Oikawa
was sitting in the passenger’s side and Natsu was barely awake in the back.
“I’m going now, Natsu.” Shouyou whispered, ruffling his baby sister’s hair. The
girl smiled sleepily, slipping her arms around her brother’s neck.
 
“Have fun, nii-chan.” Natsu pulled away and gave a close eyed smile. “And come
back soon.”
 
Shouyou chuckled, nodding his head. He closed the back door and looked at
Oikawa and Mrs. Oikawa. “Thank you for dropping me off so late.” The woman
behind the wheel waved her hand.
 
“Nonsense, Shouyou.” Mrs. Oikawa smiled at the first year that’s been living
with her. “If you need anything, let me know.” Shouyou nodded at her. “Have fun
at camp. Don’t strain yourself, you hear me?”
 
Shouyou laughed. “Yes ma’am.”
 
“Take things easy for the next few days, Shou-chan.” Oikawa stated. “If you
feel lonely, feel free to call at any time.” The setter said with a teasing
smile. The ginger rolled his eyes at that, but nodded nonetheless.
 
With that, the car drove off. Shouyou turned around and walked toward the bus
that was waiting a good fifteen feet away. “Hello.” He greeted Asahi, Daichi,
and Ennoshita, who were all the first to arrive. The three turned toward the
small male, quietly saying their own greeting.
 
“Excited, Hinata?” Ennoshita questioned fondly. It was easy to see the gleam in
Shouyou’s eyes. The first year smiled shyly, rubbing his right arms. “You don’t
have to hide it.” The second year chuckled, along with the captain and ace.
 
Asahi ruffled Shouyou’s hair--which everyone did nowadays. “It’s good to be
excited.”
 
“Honestly, I’m nervous too.” Shouyou bit his lip, glancing at his upperclassmen
before looking toward the ground. “It’s been a while since I we saw Nekoma. I
texted with Kenma, their setter, before everything happened. But lately, I’ve
been ignoring his texts.” Shouyou looked back at the three in front of him. “Do
you think he hates me now? For ignoring him?”
 
“Hating someone like you is basically impossible.” Shouyou spun around at the
voice that came from behind him. Tsukishima had arrived with Yamaguchi, and
trailing behind them was Sugawara and Nishinoya. The setter and libero
snickered at Tsukishima’s attempt to stay passive. “Everyone agrees that you’re
basically the sun. It’s be impossible to hate something like that.” Tsukishima
wasn’t looking at Shouyou, but the ginger appreciated the sentiment.
 
“Thanks, Tsukki.” Shouyou teased, receiving a half hearted ‘shut up’ and ‘don’t
call me that’ from Tsukishima in return. “I guess I’ll have to face him
sometime.” Shouyou said, but it was more to himself than to the others.
 
Soon after Sugawara and Nishinoya, Kageyama came. He scowled at the sight of
Shouyou beating him to the school, but he didn’t comment on it. Instead
Kageyama focused on getting his bag into the storage on the side of the bus.
Then, Tanaka appeared with Narita and Kinoshita on either side of him. Yachi
and Kiyoko came a few minutes later. Takeda showed up as well, coming out from
the school building with Ukai in tow. “Good. You’re all here on time. Then if
we’re all packed up, let’s board the bus and get going.” Ukai ordered, hands on
his hips.
 
“Please take care of us.” The volleyball team said and bowed at their two
instructors.
 
Ukai waved his hand. “Yeah, yeah. You kids get on the bus already.”
 
One by one, the students gathered on the bus. Everyone sat with their usual bus
partners, leaving Kageyama and Shouyou to share a seat. Shouyou sat at the
window, watching as the bus slowly departed from Karasuno. He didn’t put in any
effort of conversing with Kageyama, as he would usually do. Things were still
awkward between them. The two didn’t go through all the effort of avoiding one
another, but Shouyou could easily tell that Kageyama was still upset about
finding out everything last. And the ginger hasn’t gotten up the courage to
talk with Kageyama about it yet.
 
Kageyama, on the other hand, wasn’t upset anymore. But as usual, he couldn’t
portray that in a way for Shouyou to understand. It’s always been hard for him
to show what he was thinking or feeling. The setter glanced at Shouyou, who was
sitting to his right. He was glad that Shouyou seemed to be doing even a little
bit better. He certainly looked better. The purple bags under his eyes had
lightened up finally. The natural rosy color came back to Shouyou’s cheeks. The
light in his gold eyes was just a little bit bright nowadays too. Shouyou was
even gaining a little bit of his weight back again. And according to Sugawara--
who got regular updates from Oikawa and Iwaizumi--Shouyou has been cleaning for
about three weeks now. That pleased Kageyama. The sight he’d found at the
hospital that day had been scarring, and not just for him. Nishinoya, Takeda,
Sugawara, those of them who had Shouyou’s blood stained to their hands and
clothes.
 
“-BaKageyama.” The setter jumped, turning to Shouyou. The redhead pouted and
pursed his lips. “You’re making a weird face.”
 
Blue eyes scanned Shouyou’s face. “No I wasn’t.” Kageyama turned his eyes to
the front of the bus again, actively avoiding Shouyou’s own gaze. “And stop
looking at me like that, dumbass.” He snapped at his partner, who was still
staring at him.
 
Shouyou didn’t respond right away, continuing to observe Kageyama openly.
Kageyama glared back at him. “What were you thinking about just now?” Shouyou
asked quietly, eyes softening. Kageyama stiffened. He was surprised by the
sudden meekness in the ginger’s voice.
 
Kageyama looked away again, this time staring at his hands on his lap.
“Nothing, idiot.”
 
The middle blocker hummed, sitting up straight in his seat and turning his eyes
forward. “Sorry.”
 
Shouyou’s voice was so quiet that Kageyama almost didn’t hear him. The raven
haired teen looked at the other beside him with wide eyes. “For what?”
 
“You finding out last.” Shouyou didn’t hesitate. He didn’t want to beat around
the bush anymore. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. It...that’s just the way
things turned out.”
 
Kageyama huffed, looking ahead. “I know that.” He spared a quick glance at
Shouyou, who still wasn’t looking back at him. “So don’t apologize dumbass. I’m
over it.”
 
Shouyou chuckled, but Kageyama didn’t miss the way that the auburn haired boy’s
shoulders relaxed. Kageyama was glad that the subject came up too, not that
he’d admit that or anything.
 
                                     -----
                                        
Shouyou blinked his eyes open as someone shook him awake. The first thing he
noticed was the bright yellow hair. Shouyou blinked. “Tsukishima?”
 
“Wake up shrimp. We’re at Fukurodani already.” Tsukishima grumbled. “Unless you
want to stay here on the bus?” Shouyou shook his head and sat up. He stood up
and followed the blonde off the vehicle. Tsukishima was quick to head toward
Yamaguchi, not before sending a glance toward Shouyou. The latter smiled
reassuringly. Shouyou was used to that glance. The one that people gave him
when they thought that something was wrong. It was the only look that he didn’t
mind getting from others.
 
“Everyone better behave.” Daichi looked over each one of his teammates. Ukai
and Takeda had left to go greet the other coaches and advisors in the school’s
main building. “I won’t tolerate any fooling around, understood?” The captain
looked pointedly at Tanaka and Nishinoya, who whistled and avoided the third
year’s stare.
 
“Yo.” The Karasuno team turned to see two familiar faces coming toward them. It
was Nekoma’s team captain, Kuroo Tetsuroo, and his vice captain, Nobuyuki Kai.
The two cats stopped in front of the Karasuno team. “You’re finally here
Karasuno?” Kuroo smiled slyly.” The opposing captain smiled lazily.
 
“Yeah.” Daichi met Kuroo face-to-face. “We got here later than anticipated.”
Daichi held his hand out. “Nice to see you again, Nekoma.”
 
Kuroo took Daichi’s hand in a firm grip. “Likewise.”
 
“Wuoh~! Look Shouyou! Tokyo Tower!” Nishinoya gushed, pointing to a red and
white cellular tower.
 
Shouyou turned his head to the direction that Tanaka and Nishinoya were
pointing at. “Actually, that’s just a normal cell phone tower.” Nobuyuki
corrected. The correction made Shouyou laugh at the deep blush that dusted over
his upperclassmen’s cheeks.
 
“Don’t laugh Hinata!” Tanaka declared. “You looked because you thought it was
Tokyo Tower too!” The second year huffed.
 
“Are you just going to stand there?” Tsukishima towered over the ginger.
Shouyou tilted his head back, looking up at the blonde. The taller of the two
glowered, but Shouyou was unaffected. “Well?”
 
“Sorry.” Shouyou moves out of the way. As Tsukishima and Yamaguchi passed him,
the evergreen haired male ruffled his hair.
 
“Come on, Shouyou.” Yamaguchi motioned. Shouyou followed the two other first
years from his team to the Fukurodani’s main building in order to drop their
bags off inside. Kageyama stalked after them, wanting to hurry to practice. The
four first years walked together to their team’s temporary room and dropped
their bags off to the side.
 
“When you’re done setting your things aside, let’s head to the gym for
practice.” Sugawara announced for the whole team to hear him. The vice captain
got a simultaneous ‘yes’ in return. Sugawara headed to Shouyou, placing a hand
on his shoulder. “Hey Shouyou.” The first year hummed in response. Sugawara was
worried that Shouyou would feel left out during the training camp, but the
auburn haired boy didn’t look bothered in the slightest. “If you ever feel like
everything is too much, then you can always call me out during practice.”
 
Shouyou spun around, wrinkling his nose and sticking his tongue out. “That
won’t be necessary Suga-san.” Sugawara was taken aback when his underclassman
gave a small, reassuring smile. “You need to get ready for the spring
tournament too. Besides, I’ll be fine.” Shouyou spared a quick glance around
the room at his teammates, then looking back at his senior in front of him.
“I’ve already spoke to Shimizu-san and Yachi-san. I’ll be helping them out with
the manager things. So I’ll be pretty busy myself.”
 
Sugawara chuckled. “That’s good.”
 
“Yup.” Shouyou nodded to himself. “Since I can’t play, I want to support you
all in anyway I can.”
 
The third year was glad that Shouyou was doing better. He was trying to get
things back to normal. He didn’t seem tired anymore, like when he was in the
hospital. Sugawara would never forget how Shouyou trembled in his arms; how the
first year clung to him and didn’t want him to leave. Now the ginger was
smiling, albeit slightly. But it was progress and Sugawara was so proud of how
strong Shouyou was. “I still want to make sure.” Sugawara stated. “The other
team’s coaches have probably been in informed--” The way Shouyou tensed up
briefly didn’t go unnoticed. “--vaguely--” Sugawara added, “about why you’re
not playing. But I can’t say the same about the other teams.”
 
Shouyou tilted his head to the floor. He twisted his fingers together and
harshly chewed on his bottom lip. “W-will I have--”
 
Sugawara stopped Shouyou mid-sentence. “Of course not.” He said firmly. “If you
don’t feel comfortable answering questions, then you don’t have to answer
them.”
 
Daichi appeared at his vice captains side, his expression dark. “Of course, if
they still don’t back down, come find me.” Shouyou hesitated, before nodding
his head.
***** Anxiety *****
With Karasuno finally settled and leaving toward the gym, Shouyou felt his
anxiety build up. He was okay, until Sugawara had brought up the fact that he
might be questioned. He was okay until he thought about the pitying stares he’d
be getting again, just like the ones he’d gotten when he came back to school
after two full weeks. The weight on his shoulders was heavy enough with the
stress of his team treating him like glass. Shouyou didn’t think he’d be able
to handle Nekoma, who he’s played against before, looking at him with those
eyes. Those eyes that held sympathy and concern. Shouyou hated that look more
than anything else.
Shouyou jumped at the hand that was firmly gripped his shoulder. He turned to
see Asahi smiling down at him. “Deep breaths.” He said quietly. In an instant
Shouyou felt a wave of warmth wash over him. His body relaxed--which had
unconsciously tensed up. “The team is here to support you too.”
“Thanks, Asahi-san.” Shouyou murmured. He was grateful to Asahi the most
because whenever Shouyou saw the black creeping from the corners of his eyes,
it was the ace’s voice that made everything bright again. The third year was
just so calm and soothing. It was easy for Asahi to pull Shouyou from his panic
attack, when anyone else could worsen it. Shouyou took a deep breath, and
exhaled slowly through his mouth.
“Thank you for having us!” The Karasuno team greeted as they entered
Fukurodani’s main gym. The four other teams that were included in the training
camp greeted the Miyagi team back.
Ukai and Takeda stepped up to their team. “You all ready to practice?” Ukai
questioned. A series of ‘yes’s’ came from the group of high school students.
Ukai explained that the training camp revolved around practice matches against
the other schools and that after every loss, a punishment followed.
“Hinata-kun.” Shouyou turned away from Ukai’s explanation, seeing Kiyoko and
Yachi standing off to the side. The older manager was waving her hand,
motioning for Shouyou to come to her. Quietly, Shouyou slipped away from his
spot besides Yamaguchi, who was another calming presence to him.
“Yes, Shimizu-san?” Shouyou waited for the third year to speak.
“You’ll be helping me and Hitoka-chan.” Kiyoko received an affirmative nod from
the ginger. “Right now we’re going to go fill the bottles.”
Shouyou nodded, and followed the two managers over to the crate of bottle for
their team. “I’ll carry them, Shimizu-san.” The first year easily picked up the
crate of empty bottles. Shouyou was completely unaware of another pair of
golden eyes that followed him until he had completely exited the gym.
“The first team we’ll be playing against is Nekoma, naturally.” Ukai smirked at
his students. “For the starting line up, we’ll keep using the members from
Inter-High. Since Hinata isn’t ready to come back yet, we’ll rotate between
Ennoshita, Sugawara, and Narita every other game. Understand?” The young coach
looked at the three aforementioned members. “We’ll practice our plays with two
setters, and since we lost our middle blocker, Narita will be substituting.”
The game between Nekoma and Karasuno was going to start soon, when Kuroo came
up to Daichi again, tapping the latter on the shoulder. Daichi turned to face
the lanky captain of Nekoma. “Is something wrong with Chibi-chan?” Kuroo asked,
glancing around at the Karasuno members. “He went out with your managers right?
Is he not playing?”
Daichi sighed, bringing his right hand to rub the back of his neck. “Hinata’s
on temporary leave from the team.”
“Oh?” Kuroo hummed. “Why is that?”
The captain was unaware of the dark expression that he gave Kuroo. The latter
nearly flinched at the sight. “Personal issues.” Daichi said firmly, leaving no
room for any other comment. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t pressure him
to talk about it.” Though the statement seemed innocent enough, Kuroo could
sense the unspoken threat that was underlining the words.
Kuroo nodded, holding his hands up in a ‘surrender’ fashion. “Got it.”
Dichi nodded back curtly, glad to have gotten his point across. “Let’s have a
good game them.” The usual challenging spark returned to the captain’s eyes, as
he held his hand out for a handshake. Kuroo returned the gesture firmly.
When Shouyou came back into the gym with Kiyoko and Yachi following, the game
between Karasuno and Nekoma had already started. Shouyou headed over to the
bench where Ukai and Takeda sat, setting the heavy crate of full water bottles
down on the floor. Shouyou’s eyes traveled to the scoreboard that was being
monitored by two of Nekoma’s extra players. The score was seventeen to ten,
with the cats in the lead. Shouyou clicked his tongue, as Yachi sat down on the
bench beside him. Kiyoko sat to the right of Yachi, in between the blonde and
Takeda. A notebook was already on the third year manager’s lap, ready to take
down notes of the remainder of the game.
It was at the moment that Shouyou felt alone. His team was out there playing on
the court--even though it was only a practice match--and he was sitting on the
sidelines. While everyone else worked on improving and sharpening their skills,
Shouyou was getting weaker and falling behind. By the time he would be allowed
on court again, Shouyou thought that his body would have long forgotten the
movements of spiking and jumping. His stomach dropped and Shouyou suddenly felt
sick. He clenched his jaw in an attempt to keep bile from rising in his throat.
Shouyou tried to hear Asahi’s voice in his head, telling him to take deep
breaths. He tried to ignore the yelling of ‘nice receive’ and ‘one more.’
Sounds he used to love were suddenly suffocating because they were there, on
court, and he was here, useless.
-----
Kozume Kenma is observant.
He can pick out the smallest of details in the people around him. The skill was
one of the reasons that his childhood friend, Kuroo, introduced him to
volleyball as a setter. Being the setter meant that Kenma had to watch the
other team carefully. Look for openings and weaknesses.
It was an easy task for Kenma. But he didn’t think that his skill was anything
special, even if Kuroo begged to differ. Kenma didn’t start having real
confidence in himself until he met Shouyou before Inter-High. Shouyou was so
bright and genuine. The first year was so authentic when complimenting people.
How could that not give one confidence? Even for someone like Kenma.
Very quickly, Kenma came to treasure Shouyou.
The second year had decided to keep the ginger close.
So when Shouyou started ignoring his texts a few weeks ago, Kenma knew
instantly that something was wrong. Shouyou wasn’t one that just ignored texts.
He was the type of person that replied instantly. And in the rare occasions
that Shouyou forgets to reply to a text within five minutes, Kenma would get an
apology text, followed by a long paragraph of an excuse with a million
exclamation points and emoticons.
It only proved that something was incredibly wrong with Shouyou when Kenma
noticed that the bright first year wasn’t prepared to play in any of the
scrimmages. Instead, Shouyou had left the gym with him managers to fill water
bottles. Taking his place on court was a second year middle blocker, whom Kenma
was not really familiar with.
Temporarily distracted by the practice match, Kenma allowed himself to forget
about his younger friend. Karasuno’s first year setter served the ball to the
corner of the court. Nekoma’s libero, Yaku Morisuke, reacted quickly, digging
up the serve and returning it easily to Kenma. The two toned setter placed
himself under the falling ball. In the center, Kuroo bent his knees, glancing
at his childhood friend. Kenma got the cue right away. The ball fell into the
tips of his fingers and Kenma pushed the ball up to set for Kuroo. Karasuno’s
two middle blockers and ace jumped, only to be taken by surprise when Kuroo
hadn’t jumped yet. By the time the three blockers were falling, Kuroo was
already in the air. Nekoma’s captain hit the ball down with all his strength.
The score was twenty to fourteen now, still in the cat’s favor.
Kenma panted, taking the collar of his practice shirt to wipe away the sweat
dripping from his chin. His gold eyes glanced to the side again, easily
attracted to the bright orange hair sitting on the bench.
But something was off.
Kenma turned his whole body in Shouyou’s direction. The ginger looked like he
was distracted, with his eyes trained to the ground and his jaw tightened.
Kenma noticed the slight shaking of Shouyou’s body, and the distant look in his
eyes. And no one else seemed to realize this, but him.
Something was definitely wrong.
Before Kenma could say anything to one of the Karasuno members, Shouyou stood
up. His mouth moved, speaking to his instructor and coach. The two adults
nodded their heads, and Shouyou turned to leave the gym. It was then, that his
team had noticed. Their eyes were staring at the door that Shouyou had
disappeared through. It was clear that they were all worried, but no one made a
move to go after him.
Kenma studied his own team, who were also staring at the gym doors for Shouyou
to come back inside.
Shouyou didn’t come back inside for the rest of practice.
-----
Shouyou quickly dismissed himself from the gym. The second the doors closed
behind him, the first year ran to the nearest bathroom that he could find.
Shouyou threw open one of the stall doors, kneeling beside the toilet. He
gagged, spitting up bile. He didn’t know what caused him to feel so nauseous,
but Shouyou chalked it up to stress and anxiety.
Once he was done emptying out what little he had in his stomach, Shouyou leaned
back. He breathed in slowly, and then exhaled through his mouth. Shouyou hasn’t
felt this alone since the day Kageyama first told him about the training camp,
when he was in his room at Oikawa’s house. He was the only one home, and it was
lonely. He was actually lonely. So why, when he was surrounded by his friends,
did he feel so alone?
Shouyou scoffed at himself. He was pathetic. He had told his team that he’d get
better. He’d told them that he was tired of being sad and depressed. He was
going to get better. Shouyou had told Sugawara just half an hour ago that he’d
be okay and that he’d support the team in any way he could. And here he was,
hiding away in the bathroom because he was feeling alone.
‘How much more selfish could I get?’ Shouyou thought to himself.
The auburn haired male sighed, looking down at himself. His golden-brown eyes
trailed to his wrist. For three weeks he’s been clean. He hasn’t even cut his
hips like he did that very first time. He was doing okay. But Shouyou felt
compelled to see that red. His chest burned and his head started to hurt. Why?
He’d taken his medicine already, so why was he still feeling depressed? Wasn’t
the whole point of an ‘antidepressant’ to take away that feeling? Still, the
feeling of being alone and sad bloomed in Shouyou’s chest. It was almost
painful.
Ignoring the feeling of anxiety, Shouyou pushed himself up from the dirty
bathroom floor. He dusted himself off and huffed. He’d go to the room, rest,
and pretend like nothing happened. He’d tell his friends that he was okay,
because he had to be. He honestly wanted to get better, so he couldn’t let this
pitiful anxiety get in his way.
Shouyou won’t worry his friends anymore. They didn’t have time for him, with
the Spring tournament rapidly approaching. It was their last chance to take
their seniors to nationals. It was their last chance to make the ‘Battle at the
Garbage Dump,’ with Nekoma, happen. Shouyou won’t allow his stupid depression
to get in their way.
The first year left the bathroom behind, making his way to the classroom that
Karasuno was using as their living quarters for the weekend. Shouyou entered
the room, and slowly slid the door closed behind him. The room was empty,
except for the number of bags that were aligned at the far wall. Shouyou took
his bag and sat himself with his back against the wall. He pulled out his book,
notebooks, and pencils. Lately, studying has been another way for Shouyou to
distract himself. Shouyou concentrated on the number of questions in front of
him, allowing himself to lose track of time.
-----
The first day of the weekend joint practice was over. The coaches had dismissed
their students, opting to go out and drink. The high school students all parted
into groups; those who wanted to practice still, the managers that went to
prepare dinner, and those who called it quits for the day in order to take an
early bath.
Shouyou didn’t hear the door open. He was too focused on the math equations
that were in front of him. “Hinata.” Shouyou jumped at his name being called,
eyes snapping up to meet Ennoshita, Narita, and Kinoshita. The trio chuckled
half-heartedly, smiling at the first year.
“I’m amazed. You’re actually studying pretty hard, huh?” Narita teased, sitting
across from Shouyou with his legs crossed.
The ginger chuckled. “Yeah.” He looked back down at his math homework. “Figured
since I can’t play, might as well use the extra time to study better.” Shouyou
replied, as Ennoshita and Kinoshita took a seat on either side of Narita. “Is
practice over already?” He asked, glancing in between the three second years.
“Yep.” Kinoshita replied, letting the weight of his upper body fall back onto
his hands behind him. “You okay?” The hazel haired teen asked quietly, as to
not startle Shouyou. “You left so suddenly. None of us found time to come after
you.”
Shouyou shook his head and gave his best reassuring smile. “Yeah, I’m alright.”
He waved off. “I was just feeling a bit claustrophobic. I’m glad none of you
came after me. You need to get ready for the tournament.” Shouyou lightly
punched Narita in the leg. “Especially you! You’ll be taking my place as middle
blocker, so take everyone to nationals, senpai!” Narita’s cheeks turned a
bright pink at the encouragement from Shouyou.

“O-of course~!” Narita grinned at his junior. “Leave it to me!”
Ennoshita and Kinoshita laughed, slapping Narita roughly on the back. “Better
not let Hinata down!” Ennoshita teased, making Narita’s face flush even more .
“Your junior is counting on you!”
“I know that!” Narita bit back, playfully shoving Ennoshita away from him.
Shouyou smiled at the sight, continuing to joke around with his upperclassmen.
He forgot about his math homework for the time being. And as the conversation
between the four continued randomly, the sense of loneliness slowly disappeared
from Shouyou’s chest.
-----
Since Shouyou’s traumatic night with his father and company, Shouyou wasn’t
particularly fond of night anymore. Back in his house, the end of the day
always meant that it was time for Shouyou to be punished. It meant experiencing
pain. So when night fell, Shouyou’s anxiety skyrocketed. It felt particularly
bad because he wasn’t at his temporary home, the Oikawa residence. He was in a
place that he wasn’t familiar with, and the swelling in his chest worsened.
Shouyou tossed and turned in his futon. He couldn’t get comfortable. Shouyou
moved to lie on his back for the umpteenth time. He stared at the ceiling,
instantly remembering his lonely nights in the hospital. A spark in his chest
made Shouyou cringe. The first year sat up, looking around at his sleeping
teammates. All of them were sleeping soundlessly. Shouyou looked down at the
two that he was set up in between. To his immediate left was Tsukishima, and
beside him was Yamaguchi, then Kageyama. To Shouyou’s right was Tanaka, then
Nishinoya, then, the wall. Shouyou’s breathing hitched suddenly and the pain in
his chest increase.
He had to leave.
Shouyou stood up as quietly as possible. He headed to his bag, looking for his
phone. During his search, pain erupted at the tip of his finger. Shouyou
quickly pulled his hand from his bag, but his body froze at seeing a tiny bead
of red at the tip of his finger. He scrunched his eyebrows together, and opened
his phone as a source of light. Shouyou dug through his bag again. He flinched
at the light that gleamed back at him from the bottom of his bag.
It was a blade.
A secret one that Oikawa and Iwaizumi didn’t know about. It was another blade
that Shouyou had thrown in his bag the night he left his house with Natsu. He’d
forgotten it was there. The other blade he’d snuck in his sweatpants was taken
and disposed of at the hospital. Shouyou had forgotten about this ‘extra’ that
he’d thrown in his bag on whim. Slowly the auburn haired teen reached into his
bag.
He froze when the familiar coolness of the metal pressed against Shouyou’s
fingertips. Shouyou looked back at his sleeping friends, making sure that no
one was secretly watching him. Carefully, he looked over each of the bodies
lying underneath thick comforters. No glowing eyes met his. Shouyou looked back
to his bag, carefully plucking the razor blade from the bottom of the bag. Ever
so slowly, Shouyou slipped it into his sweat’s pocket.
This scene was familiar.
Slipping a razor blade into his pocket at the peak of night, when no one else
was watching him. Adrenaline pumped through Shouyou’s blood, as he quickly and
quietly tiptoed out of the room with his phone still clutched in one hand. He
closed the door slowly. Shouyou bit his lip, looking up and down the halls for
any sign of movement. Seeing none, Shouyou moved down the hall to the bathroom
that he had used near the gym.
-----
Kuroo was awoken by the sounds of shuffling in the futon beside him. He blinked
to adjust his eyesight to the utter black of night. Kuroo shifted to his side,
propping up his body to stare at Kenma. The second year setter was lying on his
stomach, with a pillow underneath his chin and his PSP in his hands. The light
of the game reflected off of Kenma’s eyes, creating an interesting glow of blue
in the setter’s gold iris’. “Kenma, what time is it? You should be sleeping.”
“It’s barely one.” Kenma replied in his usual quiet tone.
“Exactly. You should be asleep.” Kuroo muttered back, staring at his childhood
friend. “We have to get up early for breakfast and practice. Turn that off and
sleep.” The Nekoma captain ordered. Kenma scowled, still not looking at the
third year. “Seriously Kenma. Don’t make me take that aw-” Kuroo was cut off by
Kenma suddenly freezing. The setter sat up, eyes looking toward the door.
“What?” Kuroo questioned.
“Someone just ran past the door.” Kenma notified.
The captain rolled his eyes. “Probably a bathroom trip.” Kuroo brushed off. “Go
to sleep.”
Kenma ignored his friend, instead getting up and walking to the door. Kuroo
watched closely, interested in Kenma’s curiosity. Usually Kenma would’ve
brushed something like this off too. The two toned setter wasn’t nosey in the
slightest, never sticking his nose where it wasn’t wanted. Kenma slid the door
open and peeked outside. He gasped, and Kuroo sat up fully. “Shouyou.” Kenma
whispered, exiting the room and going after the ginger from Karasuno.
Kuroo sighed, running his hands through his hair. He pushed himself up from his
futon and left the room to follow his friend.
-----
Shouyou was relieved that the bathroom near the gym wasn’t locked. He pushed
the door open and walked inside The lights were off. He reached his hand out to
feel the wall to his right, finding the light switch a second later. White
light flooded the room, temporarily blinding Shouyou. The high schooler rubbed
his eyes and blinked the pain away. Shouyou sighed, walking to one of the
bathroom sinks. He leaned forward and turned on the tap water. Without looking
at himself in the mirror, Shouyou splashed water on his face.
“You don’t need it.” Shouyou muttered, pressing his hands to the sink. He
gripped the porcelain so tightly that his knuckles turned white. “You don’t
need it.” He said firmly, eyes traveling down to the pocket of his sweats,
where the blade was tucked away. “I don’t need it.” Shouyou whispered, his
voice weaker this time. “I’ve been clean for three weeks.”
No matter how much Shouyou repeated the words, the hypnotizing need to see his
blood was too compelling. Shouyou’s voice became background music to his own
ears. Almost on automatic, Shouyou’s left hand moved down and into his pocket.
The cooling sensation relaxed the pain in his chest. The tightness in his
throat went away too. He took the metal between his index and middle finger,
lifting it from his pocket. As Shouyou brought the metal up to his face, it was
almost like that first time in the hospital, after his mother died.
Shouyou could vividly remember that day.
He could almost pretend he was there again, in the bathroom of the hospital.
The door was locked, and the mirror was cracked underneath his fist. Shouyou
had been so angry that day, and so sad at the same time.
The feeling of sadness and anger swirled in Shouyou’s stomach again. That day
was a day that Shouyou wanted desperately to forget. It was the day he lost his
mom, and the day his dad broke him. Shouyou was surprised at the red that lined
the inside of the sink. He focused his mind again on the present, only to find
that his left hand was clenching the blade too tightly against his palm. Red
slipped down his hand and dripped from his wrist.
“Shit.” Shouyou muttered.
He ran the water again, transferring the blade into his right hand. Shouyou
winced at the stinging of the cut across his palm and fingers. He had wanted to
cut, but this was unintentional. He didn’t want it like this. He didn’t want it
because then his team will be worried. Shouyou won’t be able to hide something
like this. Where the cut was was obvious, and easy to see.
“Sh-Shouyou.” There was a sharp gasp from the door. Shouyou snapped his head
up, staring at Kenma with equally wide eyes. The setter’s eyes travelled down
to Shouyou’s hands, where the blood was still running under the warm water and
the other hand was holding the all-too-visible razor.
“I-I didn’t mean..” Shouyou felt panic replace the anger and pain. Suddenly all
he could think about was what Kenma thought of him. ‘Does he think I’m weak?
Does he hate me now? Oh god, he’s going to hate me now! He’s gonna run and tell
everyone else. Then everyone is going to hate me and the team. Then the team is
going to hate me! They’re going to leave me!’ Shouyou choked on air, as tears
pooled at the bottom of his eyes. “K-Kenma--”
Kenma spun around before Shouyou could finish his sentence, and left the
bathroom in a hurry. Shouyou sniffled, turning his head to his stinging hand.
The wound had stopped bleeding, but the cut was still red and irritated. The
first year glanced back to his right hand, in which the blade was resting in
his uninjured palm. Silently the teen debated whether or not to make another
cut. He might as well since after this, everyone is going to leave him. Shouyou
took a deep breath, bringing the familiar metal to his wrist. ‘Oikawa and
Iwaizumi are gonna be pissed.’ He thought, and bit his lip.
“In here!” Shouyou froze at the muffled sound of Kemna’s voice through the
closed bathroom door. He froze in his movements as the door creaked open again.
Kenma rushed in, carrying a white box in his hands. Entering behind him was
Nekoma’s captain. His eyes were wide, frantically searching the room, before
landing on Shouyou’s shaking figure. “Shouyou.” Kenma called, and the first
year’s eyes focused on the setter, who was now right in front of him. “Let me
see your hand.”
Shouyou couldn’t respond verbally, letting Kemna pull his left hand from
underneath the running water. “Y-you came back?” Shouyou finally pushed the
words past his lips.
Kenma’s head shot up, eyes locking with the Karasuno first year. “I wouldn’t
leave you like this.” He said, turning his eyes back to the first aid kit and
Shouyou’s hand. “Give that thing to Kuroo.” Kemna demanded, eyes narrowing at
the blade still in the other teen’s hand. Shouyou trembled, reaching his right
hand out to the third year. Kuroo took three steps exactly until he was
directly besides the two younger males. Kuroo took the razor and threw it in
the trash.
It was deathly silent between the three volleyball players.
Kenma focused on disinfecting and wrapping Shouyou’s hand. Kuroo was watching
intently, eyes roaming over the ginger’s body and trying to comprehend why the
hell such a bright kid would hurt himself. Like Kenma, Kuroo was pretty
observant. It wasn’t all that hard to tell that Shouyou of all people had
changed. He was so bright and happy, but when he walked out of the bus earlier
today, the first year seemed more reserved. Shouyou, on the other hand, avoided
the eyes of the Nekoma players. His mind was racing.
‘Why hadn’t they left? Why had Kenma come back? What did they think of him now?
Were they disgusted? Even though they were helping. Maybe they felt obligated
to help because it was a training camp.’
Shouyou didn’t realize that he started shaking even more. He’d unconsciously
pulled away from Kenma’s grasp. His shoulders pressed to his ears and Shouyou
kneeled, curling into himself. The black had returned at the corner of his
eyes. Where was Asahi? He was asleep. Sleeping soundly, completely unaware of
the panic that was arising in Shouyou’s chest. Shouyou choked and gasped.
“Hey, Hinata.” Kuroo hurriedly kneeled beside the teen. He placed his hand on
the younger’s back, rubbing in slow circles. Kenma had moved back, eyes wide
and scared. Kenma didn’t know how to handle something like this. “Breathe.”
Kuroo urged. “Just breathe. You’re okay. Whatever that head of yours is
thinking, it isn’t true.” The captain whispered. “We aren’t leaving. We’re
staying right here. Breathe.”
Shouyou’s eyes were half lidded by the time he regained his breath. Kuroo
pulled the smaller male to his chest, allowing the boy to lean on him. “I-is he
okay?” Kenma spoke in a hushed whisper, scared to trigger another panic attack.
“Yeah, he’s fine now.” Kuroo reassured, allowing Kenma to come closer. “Let’s
get him back to his room.” The third year tucked him left arm under Shouyou’s
knees, the other arm wrapping around his shoulders. He stood carefully, letting
Shouyou lean his head on his shoulder. Kenma nodded, and followed his childhood
friend and the first year out of the bathroom.
Shouyou took a deep breath, already feeling himself doze off. “Thanks.” Shouyou
muttered.
“Don’t thank us.” Kuroo stated with a small, teasing smirk. “We won’t ask
questions, but make sure you get better, okay?”
“Yeah, Shouyou.” Kenma added, “I don’t want to see you like that again. It was
scary.”
Shouyou closed his eyes, fully relaxing into Kuroo’s grasp. “I owe you an ex-
explanation.”
“Don’t worry about that.” Kenma and Kuroo said in unison, stopping in front of
the classroom that Karasuno was using. The second year reached up and slid the
door open.
Inside the small room, one person was sitting up. He turned his head toward the
door. “Yo, Tsukki.” Kuroo smiled lazily, as the blonde first year stood up.
“You’re up.”
The glasses wearing first year grunted, holding his arms out. Kuroo chuckled,
letting Tsukishima take Shouyou into his own arms. “I woke up because of him.”
He nudged his head back to Tanaka, who had sprawled himself across Shouyou’s
futon. From the way the second year was lying, he had probably kicked
Tsukishima. “I saw the shrimp was gone, and was about to go look for him.” He
paused, eyeing the sleeping ginger. “What happened to his hand?” Tsukishima was
another observant person, only believing the facts in front of him.
“Dunno.” Kuroo shrugged. “Kenma said that Hinata said he didn’t mean it. Don’t
be to hard on the kid.”
“If you knew what happened, you’d have a different response.” Tsukishima glared
at the Nekoma players. “Whatever. There’s still early practice. I’m going back
to sleep.” The blonde turned and walked back to the far side of the room, where
his and Shouyou’s futons were side-by-side. “Close the door when you leave.”
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