Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2139057.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Relationship:
      Dean_Winchester/Sam_Winchester, Dean_Winchester/Original_Female_Character
      (s), Sam_Winchester/Original_Character(s)
  Character:
      Sam_Winchester, Dean_Winchester, Original_Characters, John_Winchester,
      Brady, Jessica_Moore, More_Original_Characters
  Additional Tags:
      Minor_Character_Death, Incest, Wincest_-_Freeform, Requited_Love, Mutual
      Pining, Protective_Dean_Winchester, Weecest, Hint_Of_Anyways, More_tags
      to_be_added, Love_Confessions
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-08-15 Chapters: 1/2 Words: 2952
****** These Days Of Wanting ******
by Holy_Mother_Of_Winchester
Summary
     It happened just like Sam knew it would.
     Sam and Dean finally give in to temptation and fuck. Sam's happy and
     Dean's not and Sam doesn't understand why. Cue the flashbacks.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
It happened just like Sam knew it would.
The slight burning sensation in his ass kept him grounded on the whole
situation. Kept him from saying something stupid to his brother, something he
knew he would later regret.
Instead of meeting his older brother’s searching green eyes, Sam starts
stretching his arms above his head, waiting until he hears the satisfying crack
of bones before he lowers them. A few moments of awkward silence fills the
seedy motel room, and this time Sam is determined to be the one not to break
it.
Not this time. It was Dean’s turn now.
Dean knew it too, if the amount of times Sam saw his lips move but then close
abruptly were any indication. So Sam makes the choice to wait, wait for his
brother to make the decision on his own, whether to continue with this thing
between them or to break it. He’s just hoping it wasn’t the latter.
“You could say something,” his brother says suddenly, making Sam raise his
eyes.
“What would you like me to say?” Propping himself up onto one elbow, Sam stares
Dean down, “That was great? That was a mistake?”  Sam’s heart gives a painful
thud when he sees Dean flinch. “Or that it felt right?”
And it had. The way they had fit together, the way Dean had fit inside of him
had made Sam want to weep, but instead he had moved with his brother, taking as
much inside of him as he could. He had marveled at the noises his brother, his
soulmate, his everything had made while thrusting inside of him. And Sam knew
that, that was where he belonged.
He finally knew the definition of home.  
Dean frowns, “This isn’t about what I want, Sam.” He started pacing the room,
“This is about what I-,” he stopped short, “Dammit Sammy, I can’t believe I-”
But Sam wouldn’t let him finish,“That you what Dean?” He untangles himself from
the thin motel bed sheets, “That you fucked your little brother? Or that you
liked it?”
Dean had that look on his face that meant he wanted to hit something or
preferably him. “Well if you hadn’t,” his brother took a deep breath, “If you
hadn’t picked up that guy from the bar last night then none of this would’ve
happened.”
Oh, now Sam was seriously starting to get pissed. “Are you fucking kidding me
Dean? If I hadn’t..” He ran a hand through his hair, dryly noticing that it
needed to be washed again, “I can’t believe you're putting the blame on me,
since you were the one that practically shoved me into the door in your vicious
need to get my pants down.”
Sam watches as Dean’s eyes trail to the room door and then back to him again.
This was it, Dean was finally going to- “Get dressed and pack your things,
we’re leaving for Pennsylvania straight after breakfast.”
“Dean-”
“Now, Sam!”
Sam silently wills the tears in his eyes to go away and does what he’s told.
 
The ride was silent, the only noise was the soft purr of the Impala’s engine
and Led Zeppelin and Sam was just about ready to rip his hair out in
frustration, every time he had even thought about talking to Dean about the
night before, he was cut off by Dean turning the volume up or interrupting him
to talk about the case.
By the time they reached a town diner, and Dean had ordered his usual bacon
cheeseburger with chili fries ‘oh and the best rabbit food you have’ for Sam,
Sam had had enough. If Dean was all fine pretending that nothing had happened
last night, then Sam was too.
Sam makes his way over the bar and waits for the pretty bartender to serve him.
The blonde gives him a once over,  and a faint smile curves her lips. “What’d
you like, darl?”
“We’ll get to that later.”
The blonde shoots him a flustered look and gives him another once over, and
tilts her head. “You here alone?”
Sam shrugs, shooting a look over his shoulder at Dean, who he notices is
watching him like a hawk. Good. “Alone enough.”
“He your boyfriend?”
“Who him?” he cocks a thumb in Dean’s direction. “Nah, he’s my brother.”
The bartender makes a amenable noise and leans in closer to Sam. He can smell
her fruity lipgloss, and cheap perfume. “That’s good then.”
“Oh?” Sam quirks an eyebrow, and brushes one of his lean fingers just slightly
against the back of her pale palm. One. “Is that so?”
She hums, catching Sam’s finger with her hand. Two. “I mean, you're here, I’m
here, so..” She shrugs, her hoop earrings jiggling with the movement. “Might as
well have some fun while I still have the chance.”
Sam shoots her his best smile, dimples and all. Three. “What did you have in-
ow.” He’s grabbed from the back of his jacket, he twirls around quickly, not
really surprised by who he sees. “What the hell, Dean?”
Dean gives him a look and that shuts him right up. “Don’t you remember the
thing we need to do, Sam?”
“Thing?” he echoes, “I don’t recall a thing.”
“Sure ya’ do Sammy.” Dean lets go and before Sam can get away he drapes one of
his arms across his shoulder. “You’ve been going on about it for weeks.”
“I don’t think so, Dean.”
Dean ignores him and addresses the bartender Sam was flirting with instead.
“Sorry, babe, but my brother and I have plans.” He gives her his traditional
‘I’m a fantastic lay wink’ and tightens his grip on Sam’s shoulder. Sam knows
it should hurt, but all his senses seemed to have disappeared the minute Dean
first touched him. His brain seems to be focused on one thing, and how it was
practically twitching in his pants because holy shit Dean was actually jealous,
jealous of the bartender Sam had no interest in whatsoever. But damn, if his
brother being all possessive over him didn’t turn him on.
Dean pulling Sam out of bars and away from perspective fucks wasn’t exactly a
new thing. His big brother had been doing it ever since Sam turned fourteen and
had started having random women and men come up and try to hit on him at every
stop.
To say Dean was furious was an understatement. Sam didn’t realise it back then,
but Dean had a compulsive need to protect Sam from whatever he deemed danger,
whether it be a werewolf in Montana or a siren in Georgia, or just a grabby
thirty year old man with yellowed teeth and sweaty armpits. But as Sam got
older he started to preen with the attention that for once was not solely
focussed on Dean. At the young and sprightly age of fifteen Sam was already
taller than his older brother and had mile long legs, a golden tan and the big
wide world of adult life didn’t seem so scary anymore.
The first time he had even had sex with someone was before he started thinking
about leaving for college and it was with a petite redhead named Amber. Dean
had let Sam borrow the Impala for the night, after a quick nudge and a sly
wink, and had told Sam that if he even thought about getting jizz all over the
seats he was going to make him lick it up. Amber had giggled and Sam had
blushed, and quickly put an arm around her waist, making sure she didn’t leap
into his brothers arms.
They had went to a movie, some horror film that Sam thought paled to what he,
his brother, and his father fought everyday, but Amber seemed like she was
enjoying it, so Sam had leaned back and watched as the ‘good guy’ slashed the
monster werewolf with his big machete. Watching as fake blood poured out of the
lycanthrope’s throat, Sam had let out a snort.
“What?” Amber had whispered in his ear, making Sam take a whiff of her
strawberry shampoo.
Sam had shrugged before he realised she probably couldn’t see him. “Nothing,
it’s just so unrealistic.”
Amber was the one that had snorted that time, “Well yeah, it is about monsters
after all.”  
“Right.” Sam had suddenly decided that he had liked the movie even less,
“Because monsters aren’t real.” It sounded stupid saying it out loud, knowing
how wrong it was. “I just gotta go to the bathroom, be right back.”
Amber had tugged on his hand while he was getting up, “Hey, Sam, we don’t have
to stay if you don’t want to.”
Sam had remembered looking down at his date, noticing for the first time how
green her eyes were even in the dark cinema, they were almost as green as
Dean’s. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.”

Somehow thirty minutes later Sam was rolling around with Amber in the back seat
of the Impala. Her thin legs locked like a vise around his hips, as she had
grinded up against him. He had grabbed a fistful of her scarlet curls and
pushed his tongue into her mouth. He had never felt anything like it, the sweet
taste of Amber’s passion fruit lipgloss and the insistent rubbing of her heat
against his groin had sent fireworks exploding through his body and he just
needed more more more.
He started running his hands underneath her shirt, cupping her small breasts in
each of this palms through the floral bra she was wearing. “S-Sam.” she sobbed,
and had arched her back for more, and Sam gave it to her willingly and reached
around to unhook her bra. He lavished over her nipples, thumbing one and taking
the twin into his mouth. He licked and tugged gently with his teeth, and
ignored his aching cock pushing against the denim of his jeans.
He remembered snarling when Amber had cupped his dick through the material, and
gently rubbed it. “So hard,” she moaned, “Sam I-”
“Shh,” he had gently pressed a kiss to her forehead and had stared down at
those beautiful green eyes of hers. “I want this to be special.”  
The girl under him had nodded furiously and tugged him down to her, but Sam
didn’t move. He had wanted to- no fuck that- he had needed to look at those
eyes while he did this. He thought that it would be easier to imagine that way.
Easier to imagine that it was his brother that he was making gasp and writhe
beneath him, his brothers lips that were damp and swollen from his kisses.
Sam supposed that was when it hit him. The perfect moment of clarity and calm
before the storm. The moment Sam knew for sure that he was in love with his
brother. It was just unfortunate that it was while he was grinding against his
classmate. He had stopped abruptly, and started kissing her protests away. He
had started kissing his way down her body, skimming over her lithe form. He had
stopped at his destination, and had studied her face, and silently asked for
permission.
Those green green eyes had gazed back and him, and then Amber had given him a
shaky nod and that was all Sam needed.
Sam was always told by his father that when a Winchester put his mind to
something, there was nothing he couldn’t do. He had never really believed that
until then, until he started putting his mouth to his what girlfriend? friend?
In that moment he hadn’t cared who or what she was, and had just allowed
himself to be pulled down by the sinful pleasures of flesh.
It hadn’t lasted very long, not that Sam expected it to. Before he could even
blink Amber had propelled herself up and came with a cry, and allowed Sam to
taste the salty flavour of her. He had pulled away and wiped a hand across his
mouth, wiping at the the wetness there.
“Ohmygod,” Amber had breathed, “that was amazing.” The redhead had sat up and
looked down at Sam still kneeling between her legs. “Your turn.”
It was almost easy, letting Amber take control of him. He felt her sliding her
tongue along his hip bone, and she had nipped at it lightly, making Sam gasp.
He had given a loud shout as the girl swallowed him whole, taking the whole
length of him down her throat, and Sam wasn’t small even back then either.
He had closed his eyes and allowed the sensations roll over him in waves, he
had imagined that it was Dean doing these things to him. That it was Dean he
could feel licking him like a lollipop, making the most beautiful slurping
noises he had ever heard. Dean bobbing his head up and down on his cock, his
pink mouth stretched so tight around him. But it wasn’t his brother, and some
part of him knew that it would never be. So he settled for pretending that it
was, and he had let his mind drift until he had felt the familiar tug in his
lower stomach, and had swiftly cupped his hand around the back of Amber’s head,
giving her warning. She had resisted his tug, and had swallowed around him,
allowing every drop of his come to flood into her mouth.
After it was all done, she giggled something about it being the best sex she
had ever had and had laid down on his chest. She started drawing lazy circles
on his chest, “We definitely have to do that again, Winchester.”
“Mmhm.” Sam had nuzzled at her neck, inhaling her scent, “I’m all for that
idea.”

Sam had returned back to the shack his dad was renting for a few weeks, just
until ‘we find this bastard and salt his bones’, a few hours later. After
dropping Amber home he had gone for a drive down to the harbour, he had wanted
to relish the feeling of being free for a few more moments before heading back.
It was only after Sam had locked the door behind him and checked the salt lines
did he notice the figure sitting on the couch.
“Ah, Romeo has returned.”
Sam scoffed, and had plonked himself down next to his brother. “You didn’t have
to wait up for me.”
“I didn’t, I was watchin’,” he paused, apparently he saw what was on the
television for the first time.
“You were watching The Little Mermaid?”
“Shuddup, bitch.”
“Jerk.” Sam had smiled to himself and had got up to go to the bathroom. Until a
hand on his arm had stopped him.
“You know I’m proud of you right, Sammy?”
Sam had scoffed, and looked down at his brother, trying not to get too
entrapped by his eyes, “Course’ I do.”
Dean had smiled up at him, and caused Sam to have a serious butterfly problem.
“Night Sammy.”
“Night Dean.”
It never occurred to him that Dean had found the college application forms in
his backpack.
-
Dean clicking his fingers in front of his face brought Sam back to reality.
“What?”
“Dude, did you just have an episode or some shit?”
Sam scoffed and roughly shrugged Dean off of him. “I was just contemplating the
ways I was gonna kick your cockblocking ass.”
Dean shot him a bewildered look and glanced back at diner’s door. “Really with
her?”
Sam shrugged and looked away and started for the Impala parked to the right,
excitement pitted in his belly when he heard his brother follow a step behind
him. “Yeah she was alright.”
“You could do better.”
Here we go. He stopped mid stride and Dean bumped into his back with a
surprised noise and Sam felt him take a step back. “Really?” He turned and
forced himself to meet the green in his brother’s eyes,” do tell.”
Dean looked away after a second and stared at something over Sam’s shoulder.
“Yeah well you know,” he looked up and held Sam’s eyes, and Sam tried not to
flinch away. “She was just a easy waitress,” Dean bit his lip, “you could have
anything you wanted Sammy.” His expression turned troubled for a second before
the familiar stubborn jut of his chin came out to play, “All you have to do is
ask.”
Sam was frozen with shock. No, no way. No way could Dean mean it like that.
“You mean it? Anything?” Images of the night before came unbidden. The raw
inhabited sensation of bare skin sliding against his body, breathless pants of
his name being punched out above him, fingers pressing inside of him making him
see stars, and then Dean, just Dean, the smell of gunpowder and motor oil
making a home inside his body, the fullness of being complete. And Dean.
“Anything.” Dean frowned slightly and pursed his lips, Sam knew he was
thinking. “You just have to be sure that you want it.”
I want it. Oh god Dean I want everything. “And what about you?”
His brother’s expression cleared and something foreign overtook it. “Oh don’t
worry Sammy, I want it. You don’t have to worry about that.”
Oh. Oh. Is that what he was worried about, he thought that Sam didn’t want it?
Sam wants to laugh at the madness of it all. How could he not see?  
“I want it.” He clears his throat and doesn’t look away, oh god he doesn’t, “I
want you.” All of you.
Dean’s breath catches and his eyes are shining in the moonlight. “Yeah?”
This time Sam does laugh, but it comes out a little breathless. “Yeah.”
“Let’s go then.”
Sam doesn’t have to ask where.
 
End Notes
     Thanks for reading! Please leave a kudos if you enjoyed and please
     tell me what you think. xx
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!