Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11170683.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Rape/Non-Con,
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      방탄소년단_|_Bangtan_Boys_|_BTS
  Relationship:
      Kim_Taehyung_|_V/Min_Yoongi_|_Suga, Min_Yoongi_|_Suga/Park_Jimin, Kim
      Namjoon_|_Rap_Monster/Kim_Seokjin_|_Jin, Jeon_Jungkook/Jung_Hoseok_|_J-
      Hope, Kim_Taehyung_|_V/Park_Jimin
  Character:
      Min_Yoongi_|_Suga, Kim_Taehyung_|_V, Park_Jimin_(BTS), Jeon_Jungkook, Kim
      Namjoon_|_Rap_Monster, Kim_Seokjin_|_Jin, Jung_Hoseok_|_J-Hope
  Additional Tags:
      Child_Abuse, Sexual_Abuse, Physical_Abuse, Verbal_Abuse, Bullying, High
      School, Rape, Suicide_Attempt, Cancer, Character_Death, Betrayal,
      Friendship, Falling_In_Love, Friendship/Love, Hospitals, Drugs, Self-
      Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide, Homophobia, Don't_worry_Jungkook_will_be
      kinder_eventually, Angst, Hurt/Comfort
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-09-26 Updated: 2017-11-30 Chapters: 6/? Words: 8363
****** The story of Min Yoongi ******
by 7BTS_Gemma7
Summary
     Min Yoongi already had an unfortunate life. That saying that there's
     always someone who's worse off than you? Well Min Yoongi can't
     imagine that there is
     Just when he thought his life couldn't get any worse he meets a boy.
     Will his life change for the better? Or will certain events lead to
     his downfall?
     His name is Min Yoongi, 16 years old and this is his story
     Do not read this if you are triggered easily
***** Prologue *****
Chapter Notes
     Child abuse warning!
Introduction:
RING RING RING!
I groaned as my alarm went off, lethargically dragging myself out of my bright
blue, loving warm bed and into another day of hell.You see my life isn't all
roses and sweet kisses. My name is Min Yoongi, 16 years old and this is my
story.
My hell began when I had just turned 10 years old. It was my birthday the day
we got the life changing phone call informing us of mothers death. She had
committed suicide. (I still do not know why). I remember everything. How the
world suddenly stilled, the words replaying in my head like a echo. This is the
very day my inner battle began. That phone call didn't kill me but it
physically attacked me. I felt and head jolting back and forth within. An
electrical impulse spread throughout my body shocking me and rendering me
emotionally dead. I remember how empty I felt. I felt nothing, no tears no pain
just... emptiness.
(All hope had gone... forever).
My father on the other hand... he had begun drinking to try and fill the void
that had been left behind in his heart. I was 11 the day he finally snapped.
His eyes ignited with a harsh flame and it was if a switched had suddenly
turned. Sparks flew around him as if a thunderstorm will lash out any moment. A
thunderstorm that would uncontrollably rage and tear down buildings in its
wake. He had changed. His was no longer the father I loved. The father who
would protect me without a moments glance . My father who loved me... he was
gone. The man in front of me I can no longer call father. The man standing in
front of me is a stranger. I had just come home from school and had gone to
make dinner when I had accidentally dropped mothers favourite ceramic bowl. Who
knew something as simple as a bowl would be the trigger and the gateway to my
inevitable downfall? "Shit" I muttered as I saw my father approaching. My eyes
widened as I saw the pure fury in his eyes. His face fumed and the Volcanic
eruption exploded. SLAP! Disorientated it took me a while to figure out how to
stand straight. I slowly craned my head as I timidly glanced up at my father,
immediately averting my gaze as I once again saw the pure that consumed him. I
felt uneasy and slightly confused.
"You fucking piece of shit. Disrespecting your mothers memory" he growled.
"But I-"
"SHUT UP!" He screeched as he swung a fist at my face in his drunken fit. I
gasped at the sudden impact, falling and twitching lifelessly onto the hard,
cold wooden floor. The empathy in the room was gone. Instead it was replaced
with a soulless creature, no a monster that I had once called father. I watched
the person I had once loved turning into someone I wanted to destroy. (I want
him dead). Soon I would want to destroy myself as well. I would soon come to
long for death. I would long for freedom.
"YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT"
Kick,
With the devil dancing on my back I curled up in a small ball protecting my
face. I try to shield myself from the ruins I find myself lost in. I'll be
stranded in this deserted maze until my very last breath. Within this maze
called life. Life is just a game. And with one trigger it can plummet down hill
and it's course can change in the blink of an eye.
As he pummelled me I feel his nails scratch across my skin injecting their
poisonous venom into me and contaminating me. The one cure to this venom is
love. It looks like I'll never be cured now.
"WHY THE FUCK DO I PUT UP WITH YOU, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU WHO HAD DIED"
Kick, punch.
"Dad please" I croaked out coughing up blood at he kicked me in the back. Black
markings lay spread across my arm like a collar constricting my breathing and
forcefully pushing my mind within a cage. One I'll never be able to escape. In
this moment I had momentarily wanted to die.
Crack, White hot Pain bubbled up my spine as i let out a blood curdling scream.
My voice cracked and my eyes downcast as some hope died out. Did he really ever
love me? By this point I was in so much agony and I was just letting out small
whimpers. I couldn't think logically anymore. I just wanted my torment to end.
My heart was in shambles from the abuse it faced. It was fragmented and I
wondered if I would be able to piece it back together again. Why me?
"IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE DIED"
One last fist collided with my head and trickles of blood began to fall onto
the worn floor. The last of my hope trickled out through the wound on my head
and fell onto the ground as the last of the life i held was extinguished. I
looked up one last time as my father stormed off before black began to creep
into my vision as I finally passed out.
My name is Min Yoongi, 16 years old and this is my story
***** School life *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
(Present time)
 
I awoke the morning after a particularly bad beating. However I'm now immune.
Numb and cold. I'm used to it. I'm fine. (I'm not fine, please somebody save
me). After so much pain... It doesn't take only one thing to send you into the
pessimistic oblivion you call life- it takes an avalanche. It takes a hurricane
of pain and sadness. It takes a tornado of loneliness and pity. It took a
massive earthquake of people telling you over and over again you were worthless
and that you should finally cave in and die. I just want love... But I
shouldn't be so thirsty for something that I will never have. I tiredly checked
the time and quickly bolted up as I realised I was going to be late for school.
I immediately regretted doing so as the sudden movement strained one of my
particularly bad injuries. That fucking bastard. Gritting my teeth I pulled
myself up, breath catching in my throat and limped to the bathroom. Holding my
breath I looked in the mirror and inwardly cursed. My face is a mess! I have
two massive purple bruises, a split lip, and one notably atrocious gash on my
forehead. Moreover I have barely any makeup left to conceal it! Sighing I
sparingly applied the last of my makeup. I guess I’m going to have to steal
some again. It’s either that or no food for a week. Why can’t dad not aim at
the face? I snapped out of my thoughts, as I really did have to get to school.
I can’t afford to get another detention. Not with my strict curfew.
 
Right, I probably should go now.
 
I mustered up the courage and shakily opened the door. Holding my breath I
crept down the stairs as quietly as I could. My heart was bashing at the cage
confining my heart. It was ready to flee if anything were to go wrong. Crash!
 
I had fallen.
 
I lay frigid with fear as I heard angry shouts from upstairs. The shaking
ground enveloping me was not an earthquake. Not a crashing plane. Just you
begging for life. It was fear. I snapped out of it as I saw my father
descending down the old battered staircase with a heavy steel blood stanined
bat in his possession. Gasping I swiftly sprinted out of the house on a
adrenaline filled high, praying he would be to drunk to remember this incident
later.
 
Half an hour later and I had finally arrived at school. Panting I walked
through the school gates into scho-
 
Great. The school bullies had cornered me. I didn’t need any more of this
bullshit today. There are four bullies and they insist on making my life a
living hell, well not that it isn’t already.
 
First there is Seokjin; everyone calls him Jin. He is the face of the gang.
Everybody aspires to look like him. He is muscular with broad shoulders and is
the ace player of the football team.
 
"Stop looking at me. I know I'm attractive but I don't date faggots. You should
really lose some weight though. Stop eating so much. You'll never look perfect
like me though. Okay? Get that into your head" shouted Jin whilst flipping his
hair.
Next we have Kim Namjoon. He is from a very rich family. His family run
multiple successful businesses. I’m sure his family expect him to do the same.
He is nicknamed RM and he loves to rap. Consequently he has a bit of a habit to
suddenly burst into rap. He is also a member of the football team.
"You're never going to succeed in life. What talents could you possibly have?"
Laughed Namjoon.
After him there is Jung Hoseok. He is nicknamed J-Hope as he always has a big
goofy smile on his face. (When he isn’t bullying me he literally looks like the
sun, I swear it’s ridiculous)! He always motivates everyone and gives people
“hope.” His other nickname is Hobi but only his close friends call him that.
Moreover he’s the football team’s spokesperson.
"HAHA! Look at him kookie have you ever seen someone more disgusting?" Screamed
Hoseok
I winched at his loud shrill voice and glared at him.
Finally we have the leader of the group… Jeon Jeongguk. He is otherwise known
as Jungkook or sometimes Kookie. He’s the worst of all of them. He is the
leader of the football team and the most popular guy in school. He forces his
little gang to bully me. They never did before. The truth is in middle school I
used to have a little crush on him. Yup, that’s right I’m gay. I’m as straight
as a circle. How did it happen? I don’t know, it just did. Well my crush only
lasted a few months anyway as shortly after he began to bully me. It left me
shattered. I truly thought I might have had a chance … this time.
 
I miss the times when i had someone who cared about me, someone who protected
me, someone who snapped me out of my false illusions about that monster
Jungkook, someone who... loved me. It's so painful by myself. Why did you have
to leave me? I just want you back. Why did this cruel world have to suddenly
rip you from me like that?  After everything we had been through?
"Anyone who ever loved you was wrong. Not that anyone did love you" sniggered
Jungkook
I miss you ... Park Jimin but I will always love you
 
My name is Min Yoongi. 16 years old. And this is my story.
Chapter End Notes
     Sorry this took so long I had to finish my cosplay for hyper Japan
     and I had some tests but I hope you enjoyed it!
     I'm not sure when the next chapter will be as I'm going on holiday
     but I'll try my best.
***** The story of Park Jimin *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
4 years ago...
It all began when I first started middle school. I remember nervously sitting
at the back of my new classroom, head down and avoiding eye contact with
everyone. I thought no one would bother with the weird lonely kid in the
corner. That is... until I met him.
Park Jimin.
I remember as I had felt someone sit next to me and I timidly turned to look at
them. I was awe struck. Vivid brown eyes. Soft silky brown hair. Peaceful and
graceful symphonies deeply resonated in my heart. It consumes all of my
strength It's a rhythm that captivated me. It soothes the inner chaos of my
mind. When he caught me staring at him I flushed red in embarrassment. Even
though other class members were laughing at me he didn't laugh. Instead he gave
me a big dopey smile which made me weak and he sweetly said,
"Hi! I'm Park Jimin, what's your name?"
I remember every second. The cogs in my brain turned and it was if everything
suddenly clicked into place. The world finally made sense. His soft words,
refreshing smile and his personally, oh god his personality, so full of life
and joy. His voice was a tranquil melody. He was a serene haven you could rely
on. In that moment a tiny flicker of hope appeared in my eyes for the first
time in years. It was at this very moment my suspicions became a reality. It
was from this moment on I realised.
I was gay.
I sheepishly looked down at the floor again and tried to mutter out some kind
of response.
"M- Min Yoon - g- gi"
"Yoongi. Hmmm I like that. It reminds me of sugar. It's cute and sweet. Is it
okay if I can you suga?"
Cute? Sweet? Holy shit. I couldn't actually believe this happened to me.
"Ummm uh sure."
I said this a bit to loud as it caused everyone in the room to laugh at me
again. But then...
"HEY! DON'T LAUGH AT HIM! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT HEY?"
Jimin then turned back towards me and oh god. Oh God that smile again. He's
actually perfection. He's an angel! I shyly yelped and averted my vision before
I went red again. Then Jimin spoke.
"So let's try this again. Hi Suga! I'm Park Jimin, it's nice to meet you. Soooo
let's be friends!
"I - I would like that"
Little did I know my life was forever going to be changed.
(1 year time-skip)
"Jiminieeeeee pretty please let's me stay at your house today? Pretty pretty
please?
Sure! But... why?
Uh - My dads not home, um and, and I'll be lonely?
I've never met your dad now that you mention him. What's he like? Is he kind to
you?"
FUCK. Well this plan backfired
Whilst looking down and shuffling my feet I whispered,
"Yeah..."
I could feel the tears welling up. Shit. Come on Yoongi you've hidden this for
a whole year you can do this.
"Wait. No. No. Suga what's wrong? Yoongi are you okay? Min Yoongi please tell
me everything is fine."
As he said that I accidentally let out a huge sob which I had been holding back
and as I looked up as a single tear slid down my face. I'm trapped inside my
own head as i begin to panic. I feel somebody reaching into my chest and
twisting my heart. I feel ill and my stomach churns. My ghost closes up and i
forget how to breath. My hands become clammy and drip with sweat. Another ishid
attack... I then let out chocked sobs and slowly started to back away.
NO! He can't find out about this! Father will kill him! By this point I was
full on crying. I had just turned to run away when I heard gasps and coughing
from behind me. I looked back and it was as if everything froze.
Jimin. He was crouched on the floor with... blood coming out from his mouth.
"JIMIN! are you okay?
Looks like we both had our secrets. Hey isn't that right Suga?" With that he
passed out and I began to cry for help.
"PLEASE! SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!"
Eventually one was called and Jimin was swiftly transported to the hospital
with me crying the whole time in the back of an ambulance. When we got to his
room he was hooked up to all sorts of machines. I didn't like the sound of the
heart monitor It was shaky and uneven.
After some time Jimin began to awake. I gently held his hand and asked him what
was happening.
"Suga, love im sorry i-its... um, I really wish I didn't have to tell you this
but... It's cancer. What? Nice try Jimin." I nervously laughed to myself "I was
diagnosed with stage 3 leukaemia just over a year ago." Jimin had seemed so
broken. I had always thought he was confident. Lively. Healthy. But he was
suffering. Just like me...
"WHAT! Why.. w-why didn't you tell me?" I cried
"I-i didn't want to hurt you. What about you? The bruises you had after you had
a day off school?"
With that I spilled out everything. The daily beatings the fear. How I would be
starved for days at a time and forced to steal to survive.
By the end of my story Jimin's heartbeat was slowing down and I knew it must be
time for him to go.
"Suga. There's one thing I want to say. From the moment I first saw you, I knew
there was something special about you. Min Yoongi I love you and I want you to
know I will always remember you. Even if I'm not here. After all, my love is
longer than my life."
As another tear slid down my face I embraced Jimin.
"Park Jimin I feel the same way. You changed my life and gave me a reason to
live. Without you I would be long gone. Thank you, and from the bottom of my
heart,
"Park Jimin. I love you."
With that we kissed and then ... the flatline came from the heart monitor. And
that was it he was gone.
I felt his hand go limp. With that I put my hand against his face and whispered
the last words i would ever say to him... "Park Jimin I'm really happy I had
the privilege of meeting you. My first love. Even though this cruel world has
ripped you apart from me I will continue on. It's you. It's always been you. My
heart is and always will be yours.
"Saranghae."
His name was Park Jimin. 13 years old. And that was his story.
Chapter End Notes
     I managed to find time to write another chapter on holiday but now it
     may be quite a while till the next one
     I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave kudos, bookmark and comment!
***** Shattered hope *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Why me? What did I do to deserve this kind of treatment? Oh yeah. I remember.
According to my so called 'father' my very existence is a waste of space. Well
I guess in a way he's correct. Wow. Me and him can finally agree on something
for once. Ugh I don't even care anymore about anything. I'm tired . Tired of it
all. I'm reminded constantly everyday that I'm a burden. That I'm worthless. I
get punished for being born.(Should I just go ahead and die already)?
And my worthlessness is the very reason I'm currently getting slammed against
this locker. For attempting to live.
For breathing.
I tried to get better, really I did. I tried to love myself. However when
you're reminded everyday that your birth was a mistake and that you are the
very reason your mother died, well then it's not that easy. I admit it. I need
help. But... I don't want it (i want to die).
SMACK!
My head snapped back, the impact dizzying me momentarily.
"Staring off into space again? Dreaming about your dead freak of a boyfriend?"
Taunted Jungkook.
I seethed. I can have people talking shit about me, I'm used to it. But in that
moment when he said those awful things about Jiminie I couldn't contain
myself...I don't know what came over me. My face fumed and I trembled with rage
as anger thundered throughout my body.
"NO! He never did anything to you. Don't you dare fucking talk about Jimin like
that! Or I'm going to -
You're going to what? Hurt me?"
I gazed down away from his intense glare and bit my already chapped lips.
"Yeah I didn't think so. You coward." He taunted.
I sighed. Why does nobody ever help me? Glancing around I can see Jungkooks
'followers' laughing hysterically.
There's something about them though... They seem uncomfortable; I've been
noticing this for a while now... the side shifting eyes, fidgeting and them
stepping side to side. Their Laughs aren't genuine. Why?
Shaking of my thoughts I also notice people scurrying across the hall, ignoring
my suffering.
I just want it all to end.
Growling I lashed out and ran. Tears threatening to spill. Gasping. Panting.
Trying to breath. My chest feels as tight as a blindfold across my eyes. My
stomach churned making me feel like throwing up. My heart races and my breath
comes hitched. I hate this fear
I hate the way it boils in my belly and
creeps up my throat. I hate that way my heart trembles. Hate the way it shakes
in my chest I hate this feeling.
Help-
"WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING" Jungkook seethed
I stayed silent.
"Oh now you're mute are you? Huh? LISTEN TO ME!" He sighed
"Come with me, we need to sort you out. Thinking you can ignore me? You? Who do
you think you are to disrespect me? No wonder your parents don't love you.
Parents? I scoffed. I only have one and I don't really count him as a 'parent'.
Parents are warm and loving. Not cold and harsh. They bring you up when you
fell down. Not put you down when you already want to die. They protect you.
They don't want you dead.
Flinching I felt split splatter in my eyes. Angrily I rubbed my eyes, whilst
gritting my teeth.
"Don't worry guys you can go" Jungkook signalled to his friends. Nervously they
shuffled away muttering to each other under their breath.
Suddenly Jungkook grabbed my arm in a forceful grasp (that will leave another
bruise later) and yanked me into the nearest supply closet. My back slammed
against the wall and I tried not to scream from the welts that already lay over
my back. It's a curse this pain. It's a lethal poison flowing within.
Cracking his knuckles he edged closer. In a dazed panic I went to scream. Maybe
if I scream loud enough it will drown out the violent fast beating of my heart.
My veins itch as if they are running with venom and there is nothing I can do.
"If you scream you're dead."
And then...
he pulled out a knife.
Oh my god he's never done this before. Jungkook pummelled my side as I lay
there wide eyed. The sad reality is if it doesn't kill me I'll wish it did.
Salty tears curled around my cheeks and I panted. I gasped for breath as I felt
my throat constrict and my mouth lay open In a silent scream.
RING! RING!
Just then the bell went.
Growling Jungkook muttered "You're lucky this time" he spat on me one last time
and promptly left.
In a daze I slowly pulled myself of on the floor and observed the damage.
Luckily he only managed a few hits and I was more or less fine. (I'm not fine
really). The agony and harrowing emotions however, they will never be okay.
Ever.
I shakily opened the door and limped my way to class. Precariously sitting down
in my chair I glanced up as the teacher began to speak.
"Ahem. Attention class. So today we have a new student. Please, come in."
Pure beauty was all I could see. I haven't felt like this in a long while. The
world fell away, drained of all color but him, standing in the sunlight.
His ash grey hair was styled perfectly, black ripped jeans and a plain t- shirt
hugged his figure. He wore earrings. The most noticeable thing however... the
huge scar that stretched from his chin to under his right eye. It looked new. I
worriedly wondered what happened? No. Yoongi stop. You can't get to attached,
not after what happened with Jimin.
"Could you please introduce yourself?"
"Hi nice to meet you, I'm Kim Taehyung"
The class nudged one another giggling. I could hear some of them
"Look at his scar! It's so ugly!
Wow. Hideous
What happened? Why does he look like such a freak?
Ugly
Weird
Wow! What a freak!
Freak. Freak. Freak"
A dark look cast over Taehyungs face and he clenched his fists, his nails dug
into his skin as he stood there, trembling.
This was the breaking point of my patience. At this moment I was blinded by
rage. I seethed.
I raged as anger bubbled up through my chest. The anger raged like an
electrical impulse, throbbing though my veins, heating up my core... I've had
enough with people calling others freaks today. It was if a switch inside by
had jolted on. My face once again fumed as I shouted,
"CAN YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP? SO WHAT HE HAS A SCAR. WHATS THE HELL IS WRONG
WITH THAT HEY?"
The class sat there gaping like fish. They all looked stupid. Yeah I can shout
to. Fucking wimps.
My veins swelled ready to explode as blood rushed towards my head. I say things
I would rather left unsaid. As I tossed and frowned I lost my head. The
tranquility of the classroom had been disrupted.
Someone tell me when I became a ticking time bomb ready to explode
at any given time. how did this anxiety
make me this fragile. one day I fear I'll no longer be able to put myself back
together after an explosion.              
Continuing my rant I screeched, "HES NOT A FREAK. HES PERFECTLY NORMAL. I CAN'T
SAY THE SAME FOR ALL OF YOU THOUGH. YOU STUPID DELUSIONAL EXCUSE OF PEOPLE!"
I hate being angry. I want to cease this war that rages within and calm the
monster lurking within my mind. Ugh I need this anger to get out of my head. My
request instead? Calm. Control and purpose. A purpose to live. I can't take it
anymore.
With this icy cold tears spilled down my fire hot face as I stormed out.
Gasping as I calmed down I turned around to see Taehyung.
"Thank you so much. Everyday I've had to deal with the touting brought from my
scar. No one has ever stood up for me before. No one. No one but you. What's
your name?
Min Yo-Yoongi." I spluttered.
"Why did you help me?"
Then something happened I don't know what came over me I couldn't contain my
emotions...
"You're beautiful"
Shock took over his features. Hope filled his face momentarily before
contorting into a mask of pure fury. Quickly he pushed me away. I yelped as I
backside crashed against the floor. Panic rushed through my whole body. I
finally thought I had found somebody like me. Someone who could understand me.
Someone who has been going through the same as me. A friend. This was false
hope. With this my suspicions were confirmed. Nobody would ever want to be my
friend. Not with a pointless thing such as myself. The last of my joy shattered
into pieces as Taehyung spat out two words. My heart snapped in two. Abrupt and
harsh. Thesse two words destroyed me further. Broke me down. Through my misty
eyes, tears cascaded down my face as the melody of the hell that was my life
was heard.
"You fucking fag" Taehyung spat. Glaring as he strode back into the classroom.
Please. Someone help. Before it's to
late...
My name is Min Yoongi, 16 years old and this is my story.
Chapter End Notes
     I don't really have an excuse for not updating for ages. I'm just
     really good at procrastinating I guess. Well finally here's a
     chapter! I hoped you enjoyed. Comment, leave kudos and bookmark if
     you enjoyed!
***** The incident *****
Chapter Notes
     Warning! Graphic descriptions of torture are in this chapter. Read at
     your own risk.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Taehyung’s p.o.v
I awoke today with dread shaking my very being. I know the worst is coming. But
I’m weak; I have no way to stop it. I changed so rapidly and well, I miss my
old life, so, so much. I’m not proud of what I’ve become. (Now I’m a freak).
I lay gazing up at the celling, to numb to clamber out of my bed, as I reflect
on the past and my fragmented memories. I feel as if I am stuck in the past.
(Trapped in Hell, with no way to escape; contained inside this burning fire
that goes by the name of Death).
Nowadays my mind is in constant conflict, battling a war. A war, which will
never cease.
There is nothing from the past that you can un-do. I have to face it. The
reality that I can no longer be fixed.
The flashbacks haunt me. The residual memories lash out of the cage despite the
torment it brings. The pain… and the loneliness. They replay like a warped
melody on a broken track. My head doesn’t think like it quite used to. My mind
is left behind in the past with nowhere to go. I try to reach out but every
time I get just a little bit closer it slips out of my grasp and I fall further
behind than ever before. I’m stuck between two worlds. One of hope and one of
death.
I used to be full of blissful memories and delight. Occasionally I hear myself
in a calm serene place. Lazing under the shadows of stars, underneath the
bright moonlight. I see shooting stars. I clench my fists tightly and make a
wish. I wish to live a peaceful and tranquil life. I wish to make an imprint on
this world. One, which will shine in the daylight and glow in the dark. I wish
to be remembered.
However, this wish… It never came true.
Today I begin a new school. My mum told me that this would be a fresh start.
She sad this will help me forget. But… I’m scared. What if they mock me for my
scar, for my disfigured face?
I push past the fear holding me back as I slowly inch out of bed. I stumble
over to the mirror to observe the beast lurking within.
“Taehyung dear! It’s time to go!” called my mother.
I traced my still puffy, red raised scar and felt myself wonder.
Why me?
Two years ago…
They say you can’t remember pain. But I can. It was horrible; in that moment I
had begged for death. The day I was kidnapped; I will never forget. I don’t
know how long it was before I was found. It could have been a day or a week. I
had been strolling down the street when a sharp jolt struck the back of my
head. Strong hands pulled me (and my soul along with it) and everything I knew
away. My mouth lay open in a silent scream, which nobody could hear. One hand
covered my mouth and my vision faded to darkness. I was confined in the
infinite black and as I passed out I remember weakly whispering
“He- Help.”
I had awoken the next day to screaming from the other side of the room. Banging
at the door. He gulped as tears plugged his throat. His broken screams are
something, which I will remember forever. Screams, which pleaded for freedom.
My heart lashed out trying to tear down the walls. I need to get out of here.
As my vision precariously crept back I observed my surroundings. I was lying on
a hard cold stone floor. A damp wall filled with cobwebs was all around. The
smell of tortured souls crept along the ground and clogged me, which further
enhanced my fear and anxiety. I licked my dry parched lips and whimpered at my
throat, which was as rough as sandpaper. This scratching sandpaper was
violently ripping my throat out and clawing until I found it difficult to
breath. I noticed my acing limbs and the throbbing pain piercing my skull.
Reaching up I felt a sticky wet substance.
Blood.
Gulping I looked around as the last of my eyesight became clear. I was in a
basement. In here with me I could see two boys. One of them was the boy that
was relentlessly bashing the door. Now he lay cold, icy, and numb and he sat
down whilst cradling his head in his hands. He had pale red hair that was
crusty with dried blood and sweat. It was then I realised his hair was in fact
not red. It was blonde. The blood had in fact given the appearance of red hair.
Moreover his clothes were battered and torn. Small cuts littered his body. His
skinny framed looked as if it would snap with the flick of a switch. He looked
so tired. However I could just about make out the lingering hope that ignited
him.
He was broken. But not forever.
The other boy rushed over to me as he noticed that in fact I had now awoken
from my sleep.
“Hello. My name is Jung Hoseok and over there is Jimin. Park Jimin. We don’t
know where we are either. Let’s all stay close and get through this together
yeah? Oh by the way be careful you’ve been out of it for a few days”
His soothing words instantly clamed me. He broke me out of a trance. It was as
if I had known him for years. Rays surrounded his silhouette. Even in this
darkness he shone bright like a fire in the dusky dark twilight within the
woods.
“I’m Taehyung. Kim Taehyung
It’s nice to meet you Taehyung.”
A fire burned in my eyes. With these two I can do this. I can face he horrors
that are sure to follow and come out on top. Together we will beat this game
that is our lives.
“Jimin, he’s awake!”
Crash!
The blazing inferno I had just mustered up the courage and lit quickly became a
cold icy glacier rapidly freezing and restraining me. My stomach plummeted as I
looked up to see a tall middle aged man baring his teeth at me. Dark greasy
hair and rugged oversized clothes... a monster. Soon I would become one to. I
may not have realised it at the time, but I knew my life would never again be
the same.
Jimin was violently pushed back I saw the pure shock and horror as he thought
he would die. Luckily Hoseok and me cached him before he crashed to the harsh
stone ground. He avoided the inevitable end. (This time).
We all grasped each other’s sweaty, raw hands. I felt them shaking. I clenched
their fists as if trying to say to be strong and to believe. Believe that we
will somehow get out of this and live to see tomorrow.
I gasped as I was yanked away from Hoseok and Jimin. The two who I already felt
closer to than my own family. The two who I knew would become a big part of my
life. They were my family now. I hope I see them again after this ordeal.
I screamed violently as I came face to face with a boiling bath of water. The
man grinned wildly and let out an ear piercing maniac laugh.
“PLEASE NO! NO DON”T DO THIS” I yelled as loud as I could. Limbs failing and my
heart clenching as I wondered what my life had come to. What had I ever done?
What did I do to deserve this? Somebody help me please. With his bare hands he
tore away my soul. I sobbed with torment and then it happened. I took once last
glance at the wide-eyed Hoseok and Jimin as another man walked towards them.
And then the monster controlling me grabbed my head. Sharp jagged and dirty
nails dug into my head wound as the freshly re-joined skin burst open and blood
flowed once again. He forcefully slammed my head down. And the right side of my
face plunged into the water.
Pain engulfed me
“AHHHH NO PLEASE STOP I’LL DO ANYTHING”
My captor cackled manically as he grabbed my be the hair and yanked my head up.
He forced me to look at him in his black eyes, reflecting all the nightmares I
would soon face and he nightmares right now. "Your screams sound just like that
whore I fucked a while ago. She has a son you know. Quite a pretty boy. Long
slender neck and beautiful pale skin. What was his name again? Oh yeah Yoongi.
Maybe I’ll go after him next" he spat. "Though you look just as pretty my love”
He licked his lips and I shuddered.
I felt really sorry for this Yoongi kid whoever he may be. (Little did I know
who he would turn out to be). His words also deeply resonated with me as I am
in fact gay. However I have a very difficult time expressing it and tend to
lash out when I am reminded of this fact. I may hurt someone someday. (I'm
sorry Yoongi).
SPLASH!
With this my face was repeatedly plunged into the water. Over and over again.
It may have been one minute it may have been half an hour but in that moment
all I wanted was death. I felt the water penetrate my skin. Ruby red took over
one side of my face. I could feel the skin blistering as it cracked. A dry
roaring inferno inside of this wet, wet ocean. A large scar had formed. The
welted lump scar which travelled from my chin right up to my eye. I guess I
should be grateful it didn’t actually go into my eye. However this scar is
where my hell began. I am now hideous. Forever. Permanently disfigured.
A freak.
I suffocated on air, words clogged up unable to breath. Despite me not wanting
to beg, I was disintegrating and so I pleaded for my life. I was hyper aware.
My senses were burning. Fear filled adrenaline filled me and my whole world
became pain. I was caged. He felt like debris blocking me in. It was as if the
devil himself had thundered down to earth to kill us. In the rush of it all I
saw Hoseok.
He was being drowned. Drowning. When you are frozen and numb. Unable to
comprehend what will happen next. Everything slows down. The riptides prodded
at his flesh, forcing his skin to open as it bleeds freely. It pricks him and
stings him to the very core, violently tearing his innocence away. The riptides
crush into one another at an uncontrollable speed biting onto his lips and
tongue once in awhile. This made his tears cascade swiftly down his face
melting into the sea of blood that lay below. He was sinking with no way out.
And Jimin? He was being forced to drown him. He had a knife at his thoat. Cold
metallic and hungry for blood. Ready to lap it up like a new born kitten. Jimin
shook his head no and the captor lightly pressed the blade into his neck. I saw
the look Hoseok gave Jimin. He told him it was okay. And so... His pain
continued. I lost track of the time once again...
Suddenly there’s no more thrashing. No more screaming.
Just silence.
The water stills and for a second I thought no one would come up. I remembering
panicking as I asked myself, Is he dead? But he wasn't. After what felt like
forever Hoseok emerged and lay on the floor still and gasping violently, trying
to breath.
I saw him wide eyed like prey being hunted by the hunter. That will surely
leave a large fracture inside his mind. I hope he will be okay. (He won’t).
Jimin was now sat in the corner trembling like a leaf in the wind. I never
really know what happened to him afterwards. Well, or Hoseok after the incident
occurred. I hope I see them again.
Eventually my suffering ceased and I fell to the floor. Then for what seemed
like the one-hundredth time today I passed out. There was no point anymore
crying. No point praying. I just lay there waiting. I was ready.
For death. (Unfortunately it never came).
I awoke the next day in hospital.
I never knew what happened to those two. And I doubt I ever will…
Or will I?
My name is Kim Taehyung, 15 years old. And that was my story.
Chapter End Notes
     On wow that chapter was difficult but fun to write! Please be sure to
     comment what you think it encourages me to write more!
     For the sake of no confusing the time periods i am making everybody
     in my story around about the same age.
***** Reunited *****
Chapter Notes
     December tomorrow I can't wait. I got my first glimpse of snow this
     year! Hopefully you had a good day.
     I hope everybody enjoys this chapter!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Taehyung’s p.o.v
I knew this would happen. I knew that I’d be a laughing stock for something,
something which I have absolutely no control over. That which comes in the form
of a lethal, fatal and poisonous scar. A demon, which seeps through the cracks
remaining in my protective barriers. It chomps at my insides and eats away at
all happy memories. It injects them with its drug and my thoughts darken. They
switch into no more than mere hallucinations. My memories gradually fade into a
pitch-black nightmare…
It has no signs of stopping anytime soon. I worry that soon all joyful memories
will turn into a void of nothingness. Nothing but pain, loneliness and complete
and utter torment.
I am petrified.
The laughs. The teasing. The sheer amount of horror that ran in my veins. It
burst to life in a million shades of red. It fully fractured the small remains
of my barriers and rendered me as good as dead. I’m punished for being
different; I’m punished for being unique. The harsh and violent words crack
like a whip. Tearing at me until I can feel no longer. The malice is to much to
deal with. (Save me).
All because one single scar apparently makes me a freak. I’m starting to
believe it as well. That I’m no better than a monster within a circus. I’m not
sure what I think about living every day of my life raised high on a platform.
Present for the whole world to see. In the freak show called my life. I’m
treated like a beast within a circus. But you know what? Circus animals long
for freedom to. They stretch out, trying to soar and break out the confines of
their prison.
A prison where I feel like I’m starting to belong.
It’s my first day and I already fucked up. I hurt someone. Little did I know
how much them two malicious words I spat out turned me off course and onto a
brand new track.
I found myself on a new train heading as fast as lighting towards Hell.
Min Yoongi I believe his name was. I’m still in shock. I’m no better than the
demons that called me a freak.
I just didn’t want to accept myself. I don’t want to face the inevitable
reality that I’m gay. I’ve been in denial since day one. Why does the gender of
who fits my soul hurt others so badly? I projected my inward hate out and it
viciously latched onto him. I hate myself.
Hang on… Min Yoongi? Oh my god isn’t that the boy my captor mentioned? The one
who’s mother was raped by the very demon that took me?
Fuck!
I instantly was full with burning desire to protect him. This small flare that
ignited gave me a flicker of hope. I need to apologise because after all…
I have to admit. He’s quite cute. I spluttered as I giggled to myself. There’s
something about him, that Min Yoongi…
 
After gazing longingly at his small petite back, I dragged myself to my next
class
As I walked inside the first thing I noticed was Yoongi staring out of the
window. His demeanour crumpled as he saw me. Sighing I walked to a free seat in
the back of my class next to a sleeping boy and awaited attendance to be taken.
This boy next to me he looked very familiar. He shone, even in this cold harsh
winter. His warm hues projected positive connotations. I felt comforted and
reassured. He glimmers in the pale but still golden sunlight. He reminds me of
Hoseok. The boy who protected me down in that deep, dark basement two months
ago. I wonder if he’s okay? If he recovered from being drowned. (He hasn’t
fully).
I miss him…
Then the teacher began registration.
“Kim Namjoon?
Huh? Oh yeah I’m here.
Jeon Jungkook?
Here.
Min Yoongi?
He- Here
Kim Seokjin?
Worldwide handsome, at your service”
He winked and promptly blew a kiss.
How vulgar I thought. Girls squealed around him and the teacher sighed and
continued,
Jung Hoseok?’
What?
I craned my head slowly to see the boy next to me grunt out “Here.” Oh my god!
I can’t believe it! I felt pieces of my walls whizz back up and temporarily
lock themselves in place. This is the first time I’ve experienced joy in a
while.
“Kim Taehyung?”
I gulped. “Here.”
It all happened in a blur. Hoseok’s head jolted up like a wild horse spinning
out of control. As our eyes connected we both took in a large gasp of air. The
inferno in his eyes melted the icy lock off my cage and set me free. (For now).
Both our mouths twitched and soon became huge, bounding ecstatic smiles; the
smile I let out stretched across the whole of my body and revived me. I had
forgotten what it feels like to live. It feels good. Really good. I instantly
knew that he would become my best friend. My guardian angel was sitting right
next to me.
“Oh my god Tae! Ah don’t mind me calling you tae! How have you been? I can't
believe i'm seeing you here! You don't realise how much i worried about you. I
was certain i would never see you ever again. What are the chances? Oh! Have
you recovered well? How do you like the school?” Hoseok rambled.
“Ah! Calm down Hoseok-ah. Well if you give me a nickname I’m going to have to
give you one to! Hmmmm… Hobi?
Ohhhh I like it.”
His eyes then lay on my scar and I felt myself freeze as a dark look cast over
his eyes. He then proceeded to whisper:
“By the way, I just want to let you know I don’t care about your scar. It
wasn’t your fault that this happened. I’ve seen the way people are looking at
you right now and I hate it. I resent them all. I just don’t understand. You
can’t control life. What happens, happens. I’ll always be here for you from now
on. I’m never leaving you. Ever.
Thank you. That means a lot."
Hoseok let out a massive beam. It reflected off me, blinding me as I fell awe
struck by his kindness.
Then I asked a question. An enigma I had wondered daily. The worry it caused…
this storm. I had thinking about what happened. It terrifies me.
But it had to be asked.
“Have you got any news from Jimin? Do you know what happened to him?”
Hoseok sighed heavily. I could see that this enigma weighed him down as well.
This made me feel further connected to him. We share the same worries and
fears. We are confined within our own heads. Every morning we lay bed – ridden.
Tormented. Paralyzed with dread
these dream sequences, flashbulb memories they keep us from forgetting. This
fact that drenches us in cold sweat. Is it too much to ask to be spared from
these crippling anxiety attacks? Please! I no longer wish to be frozen inside
flashbacks. We are in a state of perpetual fear. We are screaming from inside
the echo chamber of our minds:
let (let)
me (me)
out (live)
is it too much to want to live?
Apparently it is.
 
“I don’t know. It’s all fragmented. I remember Jimin whimpering. He begged not
to be taken away…he begged for death. I heard him talk about how his parents
had been brutally murdered before he was kidnapped. I can’t even begin to
imagine how much that must have scarred him. After that I blacked out.”
With a sinking feeling in my chest I gently asked:
“And you Hoseo- no Hobi. Are you okay?”
Instantly his posture took on a weak form as I could almost feel the pain,
devouring him until nothing was left. The pain, which fell like comets from
hell. They burned and imploded upon our fathoms of ecstasy. I can't just flip a
switch and make you smile. As much as I wish that I could.
I’m going to try. Try to soothe your harsh, dangerous mind that I so
desperately want to ease.
I to know the nights where I’m stuck awake,
I to know the emptiness I feel when I'm without a shard of myself. Without my
happiness It’s like an unfinished puzzle. I to felt the tears when I cried
every night I had to spend alone. I’m going to try to fix you. (And I’ll fix me
(you have given me the courage to do so)).
“No, but I’m getting better. With you here… I’ll be fine
Me to Hobi, me to.”
Then a heard a large shrill yelp from a tall boy with soft brown marshmallow
curls. His words sound harsh but he looks so harmless. Right? (Appearances
however… aren’t everything).
“Yah! Hoseok why are you associating with the freak?” He screeched.
Hoseok growled: “Lay off Jungkook! He’s my friend. I know him!”
Friend? At that moment I felt a huge amount of pride bubble inside of me,
bursting my worries and cleansing them.
This boy, Jungkook i think his name was? Then spoke again:
“How do you know him?
He was… he was in there with me.. when i was, well uh you know.. taken.
Oh.
Yeah."
After recomposing himelf Jungkook gave a wide maniacal grin:
“ Hey boys! Looks like we have another to join us. We need to give him an
initiation!”
Two other boys, Seokjin and Namjoon I recalled, turned around to listen to
Jungkook.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Yoongi again. He visibly flinched at the word
initiation. Poor guy. I want to help him. It was at that moment I remembered
his mother and how worried I was for Yoongi’s sanity and her life. So then I
did something so, so fucking stupid. (I didn’t know his mother was dead).
Then I said the fatal words. The serenade of misery.
“Hey Yoongi! Is your mother okay?”
The utter horror that contorted his face was my fault. I didn’t know what I had
done at the time but I knew it was bad. Very bad. Why do I always do this?
Jungkook cackled, “Looks like he doesn’t need an initiation after all.”
Oh shit. What have I done?
My name is Kim Taehyung, 15 years old. And this is my story.
Chapter End Notes
     Ah! Hobi and Tae met again? What do you think of this chapter? I'm so
     happy with how much i'm uploading recently :0. As always please
     comment and leave kudos!
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
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