Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/1107479. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Teen_Wolf_(TV) Relationship: Derek_Hale/Stiles_Stilinski, Derek_Hale_&_Stiles_Stilinski Character: Derek_Hale, Stiles_Stilinski, Sheriff_Stilinski, Scott_McCall, Alan Deaton, Melissa_McCall, Isaac_Lahey Additional Tags: Season/Series_03_Spoilers, POV_Stiles, Alternate_Universe_-_Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional_Hurt/Comfort, Mating_Bond, Sheriff_Stilinski Finds_Out, Come_Marking, Masturbation, Xenophilia Series: Part 2 of There_are_nights_when_the_wolves_are_silent_and_the_moon_howls. Stats: Published: 2013-12-29 Words: 12198 ****** The skin I'm living in ****** by devilscut Summary Stiles is at the hospital with his Dad. The Sheriff is still unconscious after they've rescued him from the Darach and her plans to sacrifice him at the Nematon. Derek is waiting for him at his house, still trapped in the body of his wolfbeast and when Stiles rings home to check with Scott on how his mate is doing he's in for a rude shock regarding Scott's true feelings about Stiles and Derek being together. What's Stiles to do? He's got a mate that looks like he escaped from a horror film, his bestest Bro who's acting downright weird with him and his Dad.. uh oh his Dad's woken up and he wants to have THAT talk. Somebody shoot him now. Notes I'm on holidays at the moment and I guess you can tell because I'm churning stuff out and this has been on the back bench for a little while but just wanted to dust it off and give it a polish because it was the first cab out of the rank so to speak and I've been promising for a long time more will come in this series.. so please enjoy. Unbeta'ed. Stiles tries to concentrate when the Deputies are asking him questions about his Dad in the hospital corridor.  They want to know where did Stiles find him? – dumped at his front door…  Was he conscious? – no, been out of it the whole time...  Did Stiles see or hear anything when he got home and found his Dad? – no.. can they please stop now I just want to be with my Dad and.. and..    Stiles’ face starts to crumple.  It’s stress and relief inexplicably bound together and he hates lying to these people he’s known for what seems like forever.  He’s not disabused them of the idea that his Dad was taken by a vengeful criminal for some reason.. his Dad was gone for a week it wasn’t something that they could hide from his work colleagues.  He feels even worse when Susan hugs him and Roy just pats his shoulder and they let him go back to his Dad’s bedside.   Sitting in the chair, he’s pushed it up as close as he can to the bed, he grabs hold of his Dad’s hand.   The tips of his fingers brush against the delicate skin of his inner wrist and Stiles can feel his father’s pulse and it’s strong and steady.  It soothes him, his Dad is here and he’s alive, twenty four hours ago the chances of that were.. well Stiles doesn’t even want to think about the odds involved because it’s too painful to bear thinking about.    He glances at the chart poking out of the Perspex holder attached to the wall, reassured to see the numbers are definitely improving, pulse rate and blood pressure creeping up to normal.  Yeah, he’s a big enough nerd to know what’s normal and what’s not, but not a big enough nerd for when the ER Doctor speaks to him using words like exposure.. dehydration.. overdose.    It’s a bit of a blur and Stiles doesn’t know if it’s because of exhaustion or his quota for big words today is like zero tolerance, he didn’t really understand everything that was being said to him, so it wasn’t until Scott’s mom came in and simply told him that his Dad really was okay and would be admitted ‘for a couple of days tops’ that Stiles was finally able to relax.    Yeah sure, he can relax over his Dad’s safe return and that the evil she-bitch Darach is dead and gone, hopefully to hell but then again she’d probably fit right in and it would feel like a holiday resort.  Still it’s great he can tick off those items on his Supernatural to-do-list.  However, the top priority on that list now is how to get his mate unstuck.    A rippling shudder of longing goes through him and he thinks he’ll never get used to the idea that Derek-Fricking-Hale is his mate.  He sighs, and can’t help but think, is this really him mooning, ha ha so not funny, over a guy.  Not just any guy.  The guy.  One who has him tied in knots, again ha ha so not funny, just thinking about him.   They’ve killed the Darach, but in the backlash of stopping a spell midway while doing it, Derek is caught between forms, between his beta and his yet to be seen full wolf.  He’s a wolfbeast, looking more like the traditional werewolf of film and legend, shaped like a man but with the features of a wolf.  He’s got fur, a muzzle and a mouthful of sharp teeth, pointed ears that you would normally see on a real wolf out in the wild and then there’s the fur.    Had he mentioned the fur?  There is black hair everywhere, it’s surprisingly soft and covers Derek head to toe, it’s reasonably thick but you can see glimpses of normal pinkish human skin beneath and that little bit of vulnerability.. of humanity breaks Stiles’ heart when he sees it.  On the plus side he doesn’t have a tail.  Maybe he does have a line or a boundary where Derek is concerned.  He gnaws on his lower lip considering the idea.  Nah, it wouldn’t matter if he had two tails, horns and a tattoo of Coach Finstock on his ass, Stiles would still love Derek with everything he had, with everything he was.   He pulls out his mobile phone and quickly glances towards the open door to the private room, they’d been moved into it very quickly since arriving at the ER earlier that night and he’s pretty sure he and his Dad will owe Scott’s Mom a big favour.  Stiles scurries across to shut it quietly.  Mobiles aren’t allowed on the ward and he doesn’t want to leave his Dad, but the overwhelming urge to ring and see how Derek is doing has him swiftly pressing the saved number to Scott.  He moves across to the window and gazes down on the hospitals’ darkened carpark.   “Stiles.”  The pickup is near immediate and Scott doesn’t sound quite himself.  Stiles shrugs it off though, they’ve been through a helluva week searching for his Dad and the Darach and they’re all exhausted.   “Hey.  How’re things?”  He says, when he actually means – how is my mate Derek and does he still look like he should be on the cover of ‘Fangoria’?   “Oh you know.  Okay.. I guess.”  Scott sounds.. wrong.    “No I don’t know, that’s why I was ringing.”  He doesn’t mean to sound snippy, but seriously he’d get a better conversation with his Dad at the moment and he’s unconscious.  There’s a silence between them for a couple of heartbeats and it’s not like normal, not that chilled out, just hanging with my bestie type where you don’t need words because you’re with someone you know inside out and they know you the same way.  The good, the bad and it’s so comfortable it’s like slipping on your beat up, tattered converses that fit to perfection.   “So.. you and Derek.”  Scott says eventually, sounding bewildered, almost like Stiles told him a joke and he didn’t get the punchline.   “That is right my friend.  Derek and me..  me and Derek..  Stiles and Derek..  together.”  He’s starting to babble, but he can’t stop, seeing how his best friend has him rattled and it’s not like he’s really said or done anything in particular, there’s just a vibe coming through the line and it’s not the Scott McCall he knows and considers not only his best friend but the brother of his heart as well.   “But.. you don’t even like him.  He pushes you around.. threatens you all the time.”  He pauses for a moment as if he’s psyching himself to speak and Stiles knows why as soon as he asks.     “Stiles did.. did Derek do something to you?  Are you afraid to say ‘no’ to him?”  The questions are asked so seriously and the reasoning behind them is so dark and disturbing that Stiles struggles to breathe let alone speak in response.  He’s fighting down the sudden fury that has welled within him, that Scott can even remotely consider Derek capable of.. of that and that Stiles would allow himself to be a victim or if he was, that he wouldn’t have dealt with it already.  Breathing in and out slowly to keep his cool, it doesn’t help and he ends up snapping down the phone.   “Seriously.. Scott.. Really you’re asking me if..”  He can’t go on and all Stiles can hear is Scott’s breathing.  “You’re asking me this shit now?  You were practically howling down the roof only a couple of hours ago when Derek claimed me..”  Scott sucks in a sharp breath, but Stiles is relentless now he has the bit between his teeth and keeps going.  “.. and I claimed him back.”   “It’s the pack.. you don’t understand, you get caught up in it at the time, it’s overwhelming.. but I’ve had time to think and..  this all seems so sudden.. and I know what the instincts of a wolf are and… I don’t..  Stiles I’m just worried about you okay.”  And there’s the Scott he knows and loves, his voice is sounding more like himself and Stiles is starting to calm down.  If it had been the other way round.. yeah honestly he’d be freaking a bit too, worrying about Scott and his sanity.  Hell, it’s so definitely the ‘right way round’ as far as Stiles is concerned and even so he’s freaking out a little bit himself.  Alright a lot, so how can he not expect someone so close to him not to have concerns.   Although, he’s pretty sure that they are freaking out about different things, Scott because his best friend has just become mated to one bad ass Alpha werewolf in general and Stiles because he’s just become mated to one bad ass Alpha werewolf and he wants Derek in ways that he can barely comprehend as they are purely instinctive and primal, sweetened by love, but...  It’s a little bit scary for a 17 year old virgin.   “Do you really think I’ve been.. abused?  By Derek?”   His voice is softer.  He still can’t believe that Scott would even consider the idea.   “I don’t know.. I was thinking it might be like that.. Stockpot-something.. you know what I mean.  When people.. fall for their abusers, kidnappers and stuff.”  Scott’s obviously been thinking about this way too hard.    “Stockholm Syndrome.”  Stiles whispers, too dumbfounded that Scott has even heard of it before to snort in amusement at his phraseology, let alone associating it with himself.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              “Scott, I..”  God, how does he even begin to start explaining.  “Right from that first time we met Derek in the forest.. there’s been something that draws me to him and for a long time.. you’re right I wasn’t even sure if I liked him.”  He sighs heavily.    “Then stuff happened, with you and Peter, then there was the Kanima and I started to see him differently.  Had no idea he felt the same.. feels the same.”  Stiles gets warm all over when he recalls the look in Derek’s eyes when they both realised that they are each other’s mate.    Admittedly, having it happen when you’re confronting pure evil in the Darach wasn’t the ideal time or place, but he can’t deny that just knowing Derek is.. into him.. in love with him makes him happier than he can remember ever being in his whole life.  His cheeks feel hot and he knows he’s blushing but he can’t help it and the truth comes blurting out.   “I love him Scott.”  It makes him feel light and warm saying the words, so he says it again.  “I love Derek Hale.”  Yep, feels just as good if not better the second time round.   “But you’re not gay.” He truly is bewildered and for a moment Stiles tries to see Scott’s point of view.  As far as Scott’s been aware Stiles has only been interested in girls and one girl in particular, Lydia Martin.      Lydia, who only a few hours ago was clinging to Scott’s hand as though she’d been superglued to it, until she’d released it only long enough to rub his cock and groin like she was trying to make a genie appear out of a lamp, all while under the influence of an overflow of the werewolf mating bond between Derek and Stiles.    Stiles had witnessed it all surprisingly without any jealousy.  After years and years of longing and fantasizing about the strawberry blonde bombshell, Stiles realises he only feels friendship and loyalty to the girl and he thinks it’s the same for her, after she stood by his side in facing down the Darach.   “I don’t know what I am.  I can appreciate girls and guys, you know like.. admire them if they’re attractive and nice people and.. stuff.  I don’t think I’m gay though.”  Stiles hesitates as he tries to sort out what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling.    “It’s just Derek.  If I’m gay I think it’s only for him.  He’s just got this hold on m..”   Stiles doesn’t even get to finish his sentence when he can hear howling coming through the phone.  It’s tinny and distorted, such a big noise coming through such a small speaker, but it still projects the awe inspiring power of an Alpha male werewolf and goosebumps race up and down the length of Stiles’ arms when he realises that he’s the mate of said ‘awe inspiring werewolf’.    “Okay..  wait Derek..  stop”  There’s noise coming through the phone and Stiles is starting to freak because it sounds like fighting and growling, he hears glass breaking.  Scott’s yelling.  “Derek..  dude let go..  give it here..  I’ll hold it, you’ll break it..  don’t you growl at me.”    “Scott, don’t you hurt my mate.”  Stile’s yells at his phone.    “Are you fucking kidding me?”  Scott yells back.  There’s more growls and a higher pitched yip, which Stiles thinks sounds like Isaac.    “Derek.. put me down..  alright..  alright..  I’ll put it down first…  there on the coffee table..  okay..  just let me put it on speak..”    “Scott..  Scott..  what the hell’s going on?”  Stiles is just about ready to run out of the hospital room, positive that the wolves at his house are about to fight to the death.  Scott sounds far away one moment and then there’s an echo the next and he realises Scott’s put him on speakerphone.  There’s just this high pitched whine on the line and he almost thinks his phone or Scott’s is broken in some way when he realises just who’s on the other end of the phone right now.   “Derek.  Is that you?”  Stupid, stupid.  How’s he even going to answer with a muzzle and fangs?  There’s a low rumble and it’s Derek answering him, Stiles just knows it.  Then he hears a soft huff and call him crazy or sentimental, but he knows intuitively that Derek is saying ‘I love you’.    The connection between them, their mate bond, is stretched a bit thin with the distance.  It feels almost like static is threading through it but not enough that Stiles can’t feel an incredible pull, a tugging sensation low in his gut that screams at him that he needs to be closer to wherever his mate is and just hearing the noises Derek’s making on the phone just makes it that much worse.   “I love you too.”   He manages to gasp out.  When it suddenly occurs to him.    “Were you listening in.. did you hear what I said to Scott before?”  The low rumble gets faster, maybe a bit ragged around the edges.    “It’s true Derek.  You’re the only one.. you know.. that way for me.”  Stiles is faltering by the end feeling a bit stupid, because he suddenly realises he doesn’t know that much about Derek’s past.. well sexual past anyway, aside from the exes-from hell, Kate and Jennifer, and his first teenage crush, the tragic Paige.    Has Derek ever been with another man?  He’d been in New York for a long time with Laura and with his looks in such a cosmopolitan city, Stiles doesn’t doubt he got hit on by both sexes all the freakin’ time.  Jealousy twists in a knot around his heart, the possessiveness he feels for Derek makes him want to go out and smash anyone who dared touch the older man, dared to touch what is Stiles.   Derek’s growl is starting to sound deeper and a little bit strangled and Stiles rubs his lips, mouth suddenly dry as he realises that Derek’s getting turned on and it’s purely from Stiles’ words and voice, maybe even the possessive feeling too ‘cause he thinks it might have slipped through the thinly stretched bond.  It’s kinda hot, but it’s his Dad’s hospital room, so not the place for wolfy phone sex and he thinks he needs to change the subject before it goes any further.  Curse his stupid morality.   “I saw Cora.  She’s good, great even.  They’re talking about letting her go home in a day or two.  She told me to tell you if you don’t change back soon she can’t decide if she’s going to rip you a new one or buy you a dog licence.”  There’s a chuffing noise coming through the phone and it’s the equivalent to if Derek were in his human form that he would be laughing and choking back emotion all at the same time.    “I think Cora was the Darach’s back up plan to keep you in line.  When we killed her that’s when Cora started to improve.  Whatever, she did to your sister it’s wearing off.  Thank god.”  Derek rumbles his fervent agreement.   “My Dad’s getting better.. they think he’ll wake up soon.”  Derek gives a happy yip and Stiles has to stifle the urge to laugh because he sounds more like a chihuahua on steroids than an almighty supernatural wolfbeast.  He can’t stop smiling and realises that it’s the first time in a long time that he’s actually been able to.  He can’t help himself and just blurts out what’s on his mind and in his heart.    “Derek Hale I love you so much.”  There’s a whining almost groan in response, followed by the same soft huff as before, another wolfy ‘I love you’.   “I miss you.. I’ll be home as soon as I can.  Stay there.  Please.”  Stiles interprets the low rumble that echoes through the phone as a yes, before he says his goodbyes and ends the call.    Stiles taps the phone against his chin, enjoying the vibration through his front teeth, the nerve endings tingling.  He’s happy, but he’d be even happier if they could work out how to get Derek back to normal.  As soon as he’s finished here at the hospital with his Dad, he’s going to speak to Dr Deaton and start researching a cure.   “Stiles.. I think I’m ready to have that talk now.”  The voice is a bit rough from lack of use and comes from the bed behind him. Stiles’ heart stutters and he whirls around to see his Dad watching him, his blue eyes are open slightly wider than usual, darker with pain and his face is pale and stern looking.  He’s so obviously been listening for a while that Stiles’ stomach lurches crazily as he tries to recall what he’s been saying that could make his Dad look that way.   He recalls that moment outside the ‘Jungle’ club when his Dad was so confident that Stiles wasn’t gay, told him straight out that he wasn’t.  For a moment Stiles thinks the unthinkable, that his Dad won’t be able to accept that he’s gay..  or is it bi..  not straight that’s for sure.. Derek-sexual maybe, before deciding the classification doesn’t matter.  He is Stiles Stilinski and he likes who he likes, loves who he loves and that’s all that matters.    A bold statement he thinks, not quite game enough to say it out loud though, but it’s his Dad and after saving him is it possible he could still end up losing him anyway?    “Dad.”  He sounds hesitant and croaky, his throat has closed up tight, unsure of his reception.   Then his Dad’s smiling and opening his arms and Stiles is tripping over his own feet to launch himself into his embrace.  He can’t help it but he’s leaking.  Tears welling in his eyes and he’s trying to hold them back when a couple stubbornly well over and start to trickle down his cheek.  Stiles tries to wipe them away on the sly so his Dad doesn’t see and then his chin’s being lifted up and he realises that his Dad has his own running down the angular planes of his face and he’s swallowing hard before he speaks.   “I get the feeling that you’re the reason I’m here and in one piece.”  There’s a knowing look on his Dad’s face, one that says I’m proud of you and pissed that you put yourself in danger all at the same time.   “We’ve got some good friends Dad.  The things they did to try and get you back.”  Stiles shakes his head in disbelief, how lucky was he to have people ready to stand by his side when his world was literally crumbling.   It doesn’t take long for Stiles to give him an abridged version of what happened over the past week while his Dad was taken and then his rescue.  As far as his Dad is concerned its’ only been a day since his encounter with the Darach and the pointy end of a very sharp knife, so he listens with a vaguely dumbfounded expression and keeps asking “A week?  You’re sure?”   After a very long time, and his Dad has drawn him back into a fierce hug, Stiles feels his Dad’s breath stir the hair on top of his head when he says.  “Derek Hale, huh?”    “Yup.”  Stiles nods his head slowly, not daring to look up at his face.   “And he feels the same?”    “Yes.”  Stiles can hear his own amazement and wonder that there is someone in this world that loves him and wants to be with him in all the ways that are possible, and he doesn’t just mean sexually either although that’s a part, it’s simply to be together.   “He’s a lot older than you Stiles and legally you’re still underage for any type of physical relationship and emotionally..”  He pauses lawman and father seemingly in agreement over his son’s relationship, that there isn’t one, not even the potential for one.   “How old do you think Derek is?”  Stiles interrupts, struggling to sit up and look his Dad in the eye.   “What?”  Puzzlement is etched into the older man’s face.   “Seriously, how old?”    “I’m sure I saw it on a report at the station but I can’t remember, I think he’s what 25 or 26?”  He asks, but Stiles doesn’t answer, he just starts to talk like he’s telling a story and he is.  Derek’s story.  He desperately needs his Dad to understand what Stiles sees in the werewolf.  The reasons why he loves him.   “When Derek was just 15 he met a girl and fell in love..   another wolf gave her the bite and it didn’t..  didn’t take.  She died.”  His father makes a little shocked noise and Stiles knows what he’s thinking, what if Stiles is given the bite, will he die too?    “It happens sometimes.  No matter how strong and healthy the person is.  But, her death..  well it opened the door, Derek was hurting and lonely and an older woman told him she loved him and took advantage.  Used him and took the information he innocently gave when they were together to set his house on fire and murder nearly every family member he had.”   “Kate Argent.”  His Dad sucks in a harsh breath as understanding crosses his face.                                                                                                                                                                                     “At 16 Derek’s lost his whole family and he thinks it’s his fault, doesn’t realise that the only person to blame is the bitch who seduced him.  He only has his big sister, Laura, who’s his Alpha as well and they look after each other.  It’s only the two of them for a long time.  After nearly 6 years, Laura comes back to Beacon Hills because there are signs of another wolf, a dangerous wolf, moving into the Hale pack territory.  When she disappears, he comes looking for her and he’s alone and he’s not as strong, he’s a beta not an alpha but he has to try and find her.”    “Do you remember when he first came back to Beacon Hills?  The way he looked then.  Clean shaven, healthy, not so tired and worn out, he was only 21.. nearly 22.  In such a short time he’s changed, had to change.”  Stiles can see the surprised look on his Dad’s face and presses on.  This is where it gets difficult for Stiles, because this is where he hasn’t just researched Derek’s history, he’s lived it with him.    “He comes across two teenagers stumbling around in the woods and knows that one of them has been bitten.  He tries to help, that’s all he’s ever tried to do you know, help and protect other people and somehow it ends up with him being accused of the murder of his own sister.. by me.”  Stiles sighs guiltily, before continuing.    “Almost dying from a wolfsbane bullet, being hunted down and shot at with guns and arrows, being brutally tortured with electricity, fighting rogue Alpha’s, losing pack members, nearly drowning..”  That is the memory that almost undoes him, the time they spent in the water and Stiles wasn’t going to let go, they would’ve gone under together if Scott hadn’t showed up just in time.  It’s here that Stiles first consciously realised that Derek is important to him.   “He’s been through so much and people, even me, expect too much from him.  It’s easy to forget that he’s really still quite young, he’s only 23, and everyone expects him to have the answers and there are times I swear he’s just so..  lost, that even with a pack I think he’s still very much alone.”   His Dad’s watching him intently and he ducks his head, eyes darting away from his scrutiny.    “I don’t want him to be alone anymore.  I want him to have everything that’s good in this life..  a home, friends, a family..  and someone who loves him so much that they can’t breathe without him.”  He slowly lifts his head and meets his father’s eyes before leaping off THAT cliff.  “I’m that someone.”   For the longest time they just look at each other, Stiles willing him to believe every word he’s just said.  There’s a slow dawning recognition that crosses his father’s face as Stiles’ words sink in.   “You know we Stilinski’s, we’re a bit like wolves too.  When we find the one, that’s it for us.  It happened to your grandfather..  it happened to me.  When I met your mother..”  A wistful expression crosses his Dad’s face.  “She was only 17 and I was 27.”  He smiles at the outraged look that Stiles knows must surely be written all over his face.    “I know..  I know.  You can call me a hypocrite and it would be all too true.  I tried to stay away from her, but she wouldn’t have it..  stubborn, like someone else I know.  I was lucky we didn’t have long to wait until she was 18.”  He looks pointedly at his son.    “Thing is I knew.  Knew she was going to be it for me.  You love him that much then?”  He rubs his face tiredly.   Stiles is feeling too emotional, too strung out and he throws himself back down onto his Dad’s chest nodding frantically, yes yes.   “He and I will have to have a little talk.”  It’ll be a very one sided conversation at the moment thinks Stiles, actually knowing his Dad it probably would be like that regardless.     “I’m pre-disposed to like him anyway.”  Stiles can’t help it he lifts his head and looks into his Dad’s eyes curiously.    “He’s got impeccable taste.”  Stiles groans and rolls his eyes, dropping his head back onto his Dad’s chest, there’s a feeling of relief that he’s taking it so well.    “He does know that I carry a gun doesn’t he?”  Then again.   “Dad.”  His Dad’s chest is bouncing up and down under his ear and Stiles realises that he’s laughing and it makes him smile.     Stiles’ awareness of the mate bond has been steadily increasing since he started driving back from the hospital, he’d waited until his Dad fell asleep after promising to see him at some point the following day.  It’s in direct correlation with each mile closer he gets to his home and the stronger it becomes.  There’s an overwhelming hunger that has him shifting uncomfortably in his seat, his groin feeling like it’s on fire and a pang of loneliness that only serves to remind him of how aware of each other’s emotions they are now, how vulnerable they are to each other.    The jeep’s headlights sweep across the driveway as he brakes to a stop, he practically falls out of the vehicle he’s so eager to see his mate.  The edgy excitement and fierce need and love that Derek is sending makes Stiles sway giddily on his feet for a moment.  He can’t help but throw caution to the wind and he doesn’t hide what he’s feeling just lets it slam back down the connection lovewantneed.  The roar from inside the house that rattles the windows assures him that Derek’s got the message just fine.   Stiles is blindsided the moment he walks through his front door.  A huge dark shape that’s obviously been waiting in the hallway sweeps him off his feet and he’s clasped tight to a massive furry chest which is vibrating with loud rumbling growls.  Strong arms hold him easily and his legs dangle, feet not touching the floor, making him feel like a kid again.  Crimson eyes blaze down at him with a heat that’s only just barely contained.  Hot breath against his neck has him shuddering, feeling the moist warmth on his sensitive skin.    Derek’s holding him like he’s the most precious of treasures and he’s softly keening in the hollow of Stiles’ throat, his muzzle nosing at the patch of skin before he’s licks a line straight up to his chin.  Not that he’s got any real comparison, not having had anyone else lick him before, but Derek’s tongue feels more raspy than a human’s, it’s a good thing though and his nerve endings feel it like a jolt of electricity to the very core of him and Stiles can’t help the whimper that escapes him or the body arching spasm that rocks through him.   That’s it for Derek and he turns running for the stairs that will lead up to Stiles’ room and Stiles’ bed.  He’s halfway up when Stiles’ stomach rumbles and it’s loud, so obviously the sound of true hunger, and the emptiness is almost painful making him wince.   Derek stops and he’s shaking, Stiles can feel the tremors under his fingertips and he’s awestruck that this man in this, his most powerful and dangerous form wants him so badly.   “I am kinda hungry.”  He whispers.  Now that he thinks about it he can’t even remember when or what the last thing he ate was.  Stiles’ stomach is in knots and this time it’s not because of desire, he’s ravenous.  Derek rubs his muzzle tenderly against Stiles cheek with a soft whine of apology, his eyes have turned back to green and are looking into his anxiously.    Before he can even think of what he’s doing Stiles presses a soft kiss to the top of Derek’s muzzle and it seems to have been the right thing to do, Derek’s eyes lighten and his muzzle parts and the long red tongue lolls to one side.  This is his wolfbeast’s happy face he realises and he smiles back and kisses him one more time.   Derek’s scent wraps around him, it’s the dark places of the forest.. damp earth, leaves turning to mulch, the sharp tang of pine in the air and underneath he gets a lighter whiff of..of.. coconut?  He shrugs and buries his face into the soft fur and breathes him in deep into his lungs.  Wanting to keep him there, a part of him forever.  He lifts his head with an aching sigh.   “Let’s get something to eat okay.”  Derek chuffs in agreement and there is something flowing between them that Stiles can only describe as joy.  It’s warmth and love and companionship all rolled into one.  The desire is still there, but it’s subdued for the moment letting them enjoy each other’s company without being swept away by the physical longing they have for each other.  Even so, Derek refuses to put Stiles down, content to have him in his arms and carry him wherever he wants to go.   Stiles decides he could really get used to this, as Derek carries him back down the stairs and strides into the kitchen where Stiles sees a note on the benchtop.  He’s not surprised it’s from Scott and in a way he’s glad he’s not there after what’s been said between them earlier tonight, they maybe need a chance to take a breather from each other.  He can only hope that things are back to normal when he sees him again.   Stiles, Can tell you’re on your way home because Derek is acting WEIRD and HORNY and if I ever have to hear him jerk off in the bathroom again it will be way too soon.  Call me if you need me.  Scott.   Derek has been reading it over his shoulder growling heatedly and Stiles can tell, he so wishes Scott was within reach at the moment when he extends his claws and shreds the note into tiny bits of confetti.    Stiles is more stunned by the revelation that Derek’s been getting some special ‘alone’ time and he can’t help the instinctive jerk of his hips when he thinks about his mate being desperate enough to..  touch himself.  He knows that Derek will be able to sense his increased heartbeat and rapid breathing and tries to ratchet it down a couple of notches.    It doesn’t help when Derek has put him down on his feet and he’s trapped between the kitchen counter in front of him and the large hot furry body behind him, the one that’s currently pressing against him – hard.  There maybe grinding as well..  oh yeah, he can feel a hot hard length rocking ever so slightly against his ass and back, definitely grinding going on.   “Food.”  He says determinedly.  Trying to ignore the low hot puffing pants of air that are currently blowing against his ear and neck.  Derek gives a tiny whine and he sounds like he’s in physical pain, but what’s coming through the mate bond tells Stiles it’s more than physical it’s also an emotional need for fulfilment to tie them together, to bind them.  He may not be a werewolf, but Stiles intuitively knows that there is so much more to being mates than what he is experiencing now and he wants it, hungers for it and knows that Derek feels the same.   With trembling hands Stiles pushes back from the counter into Derek’s body hard and slides away.  Derek groans and lets him, but he follows, shadowing every move that his mate makes and if out of the corner of his eye Stiles happens to see every now and then that hard length that’s just been pressed to his back, bobbing between Derek’s thighs he’s just going to have to suck it up and ignore it.  Don’t think about sucking, he tells himself severely.   Stiles doesn’t have the time or patience to make an intricate meal, he’s about dead on his feet and starving.  So sandwiches are going to have to do.  Peanut butter and jelly in thick layers on fresh bread, he sends a quick mental thank you to Mrs McCall because he knows that no one else would’ve thought to restock the pantry and refrigerator with the basics.    While he’s gathering the bits and pieces he needs, Stiles wonders how he can ask what’s been bugging him all night.  Derek can obviously tell he’s unsettled, as he chuffs softly against Stiles’ neck asking in the only way he can what’s wrong.  The conduit between them is letting Stiles feel Derek’s rising anxiety and fear and he knows he can’t drag this out.   “I guess if you heard what I said about you being it for me..  you probably heard what Scott said before that too.”  Ready to spin out some yarn in case he didn’t, he pauses in the middle of spreading the jelly and darts a quick look at Derek’s face, just in time to see his mate’s eyes flash with a deep hurt that’s instantly gone in the very next moment.  Just like that Stiles’ temper snaps and he’s throwing down the knife onto the counter.                                                                                                                        “I’m going to fucking kill him.. that hypocrite.. all that bullshit he spoke at the Nematon.” If Scott were here right at this moment, Stiles could probably forgive him for himself, but for hurting his mate, Derek who has known more pain and grief than any person, human or werewolf, should ever have to endure, he would fucking tear him apart.  Stiles is fuming until he feels the weight of a heavy claw on his shoulder.  Looking into his mate’s face he watches Derek shake his head no.  Derek’s telling him to let it go, but Stiles is simply too outraged at the moment.    “After everything you’ve done for us.. for me.. how can he even think..?”  Derek nuzzles his jawline and breathes heavily into the crook of his neck.  Stiles lifts his arms and wraps them around the wolf’s shoulders.. at least as far as he can reach.  Derek lifts him up off the floor, his legs dangling freely.  They hold each other tight and Stiles likes to think that it helps, that Derek gets as much comfort from being in his arms as Stiles does from his.    Doesn’t want to disturb the feeling between them and just holds him and holds him.. would hold him forever if that’s what he needed.. until Stiles’ stomach makes another loud rumbling sound.  The wolfbeast chuffs in amusement as he slowly lets him go.. lets him slide slowly down the length of his hard muscular body and damn if that doesn’t just push a few buttons and make his dick twitch.. Derek picks up the knife daintly between two claws and holds it out to Stiles.   “Thanks.”  He’s kinda amazed that he was actually able to pick it up with the long sharp claws he’s wielding.  Between his claws and canine teeth Derek is.. formidable to say the least, so very not-human.   Which leads him into thinking about what he’s preparing and Stiles slaps his forehead in annoyance.  What is he thinking?  Seriously. “Can you even eat this?”    Derek’s got a mouthful of sharp teeth and fangs that are a good couple of inches long, whether he’s able to put them to good use with peanut butter is a mystery.  He’s relieved when Derek just nods and he’s about to pour two tall glasses of cold milk when he realises that with Derek’s muzzle there is no way he’d be able to drink from the glass, so he simply pours his into a large open bowl from which he can lap or fit his muzzle against.  Derek puts his clawed hand on Stiles’ and strokes delicately with one nail across Stiles’ knuckles, it makes him tremble.  He looks into Derek’s beautiful eyes and sees the ‘thank you’ there and smiles.   It’s a feast.  Thick sandwiches piled high on a plate.  Stiles grabs a large bag of potato chips and doesn’t bother putting them into a bowl just splits the bag wide open so human hands and wolfbeast claws can easily reach in.  He’s about to put it all out on the kitchen table when he realises how thin and matchstick-like the wooden chairs look when compared to a 7 foot wolfbeast and moves to the lounge room instead and puts it all on the coffee table.  Stiles is about to sit down on the floor when he’s grabbed by the wrist and gently guided to sit in Derek’s lap.   Cradled within his mate’s embrace, Stiles is embarrassed at first, feels like a little kid sitting in a grown-up’s lap.  That is until Derek starts pushing food at him, then common sense and hunger take over and he’s aware that Derek is watching him intently.  His every bite noteworthy to the wolfbeast as he feeds him and he realises that this is part of the wolf side of Derek, that he needs to know that his mate is not hungry, is comfortable, is warm and safe.  Stiles is sure that there are going to be times it will piss him off no end, but for now it’s kind of endearing and he’d never ever in his wildest dreams thought that Derek would ever care so much for him and it makes him feel kind of dizzy.   He holds up a hand in protest, when Derek presses another sandwich to his lips.  Shakes his head ‘no’ he can ‘t really fit another bite in.   “Come on Derek, you need to eat too.”  He lays his hand over Derek’s claw that holds the sandwich between his sharp nails like pincers and presses it back towards his muzzle.  He tilts his head and eats using the side of his muzzle, able to chew properly that way.   Stiles has finished his and reaches across to grab some chips, there’s no way that Derek will pick these up he realises and as soon as the wolfbeast has demolished his sandwich and washed it down with some milk, Stiles starts to feed Derek.  Stiles eats one, then lays a chip on Derek’s tongue, his muzzle parted and there’s a soothing vibration rumbling through Derek’s chest and between that and the happy contented feeling threading through their bond so easily Stiles knows that Derek is enjoying their closeness and that he really, really enjoys Stiles feeding him.   When it’s all gone Stiles just lies there, letting Derek’s warmth soak into him.  He’s feeling sleepy now that he’s got a full belly and is warm and cozy and more importantly safe with his mate.  He idly lifts a hand to his mouth and licks the salt from the chips off one of his fingers.  The vibration from Derek’s chest jumps a couple of gears and his hand is caught by one massive paw.  Stiles lifts his eyes to Derek’s and sees that his eyes have changed from green to fiery crimson and he can’t look away when Derek moves his hand to his muzzle.    Derek’s long tongue darts out almost daintly and licks a finger, from base to tip, curling around it.  Slowly, Derek does the same to each finger on Stiles hand, all the time their eyes are locked together. The rasp of his tongue against the sensitive nerve endings of Stiles fingers and the burning intensity of his eyes have Stiles shifting restlessly in Derek’s lap.  Beneath his ass and thighs he can feel Derek is hard.  That’s fine they can be bookends, because Stiles is just as hard and aching.    When Derek finally lays his hand back into his lap, Stiles is breathing like he’s run a marathon.  He lifts his hand and cradles the wolfbeast’s muzzle gently and rubs his thumb back and forth, stroking under Derek’s left eye.   “We need to get you back to human as soon as possible.”  He breathes out huskily and hears Derek whine in agreement as he nods frantically.. yes..yes..yes.  Hunger and desire is surging through their bond and Stiles aches to his very bones, but there’s not much they can do with claws and fangs that could so easily tear through fragile human skin and Derek’s cock is more like a weapon, a club, than a sex organ and it is so not gonna fit.. anywhere.  The best thing he can do for himself and Derek is go and take a cold shower and cool off.   He climbs out of the wolfbeast’s lap and gathers their plates and rubbish and goes to the kitchen and quickly tidies up, all too aware that his mate is watching him with those burning red eyes.  When he finishes Stiles looks across to where Derek has been leaning against the kitchen island bench, arms folded and he’s all too aware that Derek’s been rumbling the whole time, it’s a low vibration from deep in his chest and so god damn sexy.. it makes Stiles swallow hard.    “I.. I think I’ll go and have a shower now.. I’m so filthy from that.. that place..”  He means the Nematon and.. Derek groans before sweeping him back up into his arms and he’s charging up the stairs to Stiles’ bathroom and tilts his head, indicating that Stiles should open the door for him seeing as he’s got his arms full with one 17 year old teenage mate.    Which is when the 17 year old teenage mate realises that Derek has every intention of not only joining him in the bathroom but in the shower too and he can feel a wave of heat rocket throughout his entire body and knows from the intensity that he must be redder than a ‘cherry’ tomato, oh yes that pun was intended and he quivers with the need to laugh hysterically out loud or hump against Derek’s thigh with his aching cock or a mind-destroying combination of the two.   Stiles presses his palms flat against Derek’s massive hairy chest and leans back.. maybe a mistake because it does tend to push his throbbing groin into Derek’s rock hard abs just below his sternum.   “Uhmm..  Derek I think I need a little bit of privacy.. okay?”  The wolfbeast’s eyes bleed out the red to return to the beautiful mix of colours that mere human eyes can only perceive as green, but Stiles has studied them since he first met the werewolf in the forest that long ago day, he knows that there is more to them than that.  When he finds the most fitting word to describe that kaleidoscope swirl of colours he’ll use it, but for the moment he’s stuck with green.   If a wolfbeast can pout then Derek’s got the market cornered, his eyes go wide and his muzzle gapes, drooping sadly and when he gives the most pitiful whine.. ever.. Stiles almost feels his resolve give way.  Until he realises that Derek smells like.. yes damn it he smells like honey and coconut.. the scent of Stiles’ shampoo and conditioner.   “Don’t give me that look.. you’ve already had a shower Mister-guilt trippy- wolf.. now put me down please.”  Stiles gives him the sternest look he can, the one his Dad uses on him regularly.  There’s an evil twinkle in Derek’s eyes as he loses the pitiful look and gives him a salacious one from head to toe as if to say ‘do you blame me’.   “Thank you.”  He says when Derek lowers him to the floor.  “Let me go and wash my virgin ass okay?”  Hmm.. maybe wrong choice of words because when Stiles turns to open the door the wolfbeast still tries to crowd him against it and growls hotly into his ear making him shudder.   “Derek..”  He breathes out.. because he’s turned on and okay a little bit scared.. because ‘virgin ass’ thank you very much.    “Please.. I..I’m.. shy.. alright.. I’ve never and.. and you.. all in one day.. it’s..”  He lets out a heavy sigh.  “It’s too much.”  From under his eyelashes he looks over his shoulder and says honestly.  “Maybe it’s because I’m tired.. but I’m so overwhelmed.. by it all.. by you.. you’re everything I ever wanted and now you’re mine and I.. I’m not explaining this very well at all.”  His shoulders slump heavily.   Derek nuzzles his neck in what would be a tender kiss if he was human and steps back chuffing softly and Stiles looks at him gratefully, before he slips into the bathroom and locks the door behind him.  He doesn’t think Derek would come in uninvited but better not to tempt him or fate.   He gets a shock when he looks in the mirror because he looks.. he looks good.  He may feel like shit.. 24 hours with no sleep has a tendency to make you feel like that, but outwardly he’s better than expected and he feels encouraged that maybe he can cope with everything that’s happening to him and Derek.    Grabs his toothbrush and delights in the feel of the frothy toothpaste cleansing his mouth and teeth, parts his lips wide and growls at himself in the mirror like he’s a rabid animal, white foam dripping down his chin and he hooks his hands into claws and snarls.  Hears a curious whine at the door and freezes realising that just because he shut the door between them it didn’t mean that Derek left, he’s still out there listening to him and he spits into the washbasin and calls out.   “It’s okay.”  Washing out his mouth he quickly strips out of his dusty clothes and turns on the water as he gingerly peels off his underwear which is stuck to his groin from where he came at the Nematon.  Winces when he pulls out a few pubes, but is quickly standing under the hot spray of water and sighs in ecstasy.    Flicking open the shampoo Stiles washes his hair, the honey and coconut scent floods his senses and he can’t help but think about Derek as he then squirts a dollop of conditioner onto the palm of his hand.  With his hair so short it’s all done so very quick.  He slicks up the bar of soap in his wet hands and starts rubbing it all over his body, when he reaches his cock and balls he can’t help but linger, his soapy hands tugging and pulling at his flesh until he’s quivering and rock hard.  The knowledge that Derek was here earlier doing the exact same thing does something for Stiles, sends a curling blaze of heat through his groin to wrap itself around his balls.  He breathes out an aching sigh.   There’s thumping at the bathroom door, he looks over his shoulder, it’s so hard he can see the door rattle violently in the door frame and he freezes, how could he have forgotten there was a wolf at his door, one who can hear and scent EVERYTHING.. He hears a loud reverberating howl that threatens to shake the very foundations of his house and a sharp metallic crack and through the clear plastic shower curtain he can see the bathroom door burst open and Derek is standing in the doorway.   Stiles’ fingers that haven’t stopped moving, jerk and ripple in shock under the weight of his balls and that sensation and the grip he has on the shaft as he fucks into his fist is too much and his groin contracts fiercely and he’s coming and coming hard, hot white stripes splash over the tiles of the shower.      Derek’s red eyes blaze at him, watching him shoot his load, chest heaving with each rapid breath, the door handle still swinging from side to side from where he’s broken it.  Stiles puts one shaky hand against the wall and hangs his head low struggling to breathe, whimpers as the last pulsating drops spill onto the floor between his feet before swirling down the drain.   Stiles blinks in disbelief, shakes his head, water clinging to his lashes did he really see.. turns to look at the door and.. nearly slips over flailing wildly to stay upright, almost becoming another sad bathroom accident statistic because Derek’s right frickin’ there.  At his side, standing on the outside of the tub and their eyes meet and hold looking through the clear plastic for one breathtaking, almost terrifyingly intense moment before Derek’s swiping away the shower curtain and he’s looking his fill from the dripping hair on his head to his slightly pruney toes and all the places between.    Particularly his still partially erect cock, as he glances down he can see himself twitch and the head is glistening, a mixture of water and come.  Derek growls approvingly and moves his big clawed hands to his own rapidly rising cock and holds himself and starts to pump the huge length, hips jerking wildly, his heavy ball sac swinging freely between his legs.    Stiles can’t drag his eyes away, it’s the hottest most intimidating thing he’s ever seen.  That all of Derek’s focus is solely on him, all of his passion and lust.. it is all for him.  He can feel it sweeping everything else from its path through their shared conduit in a white hot blaze.  Even though he’s just come he can feel his groin tighten.. thank Christ that he possesses the refractory period of a 17 year old.. it’s almost instantaneous.   The heat pulls something from deep within him, he doesn’t know where the urge comes from.  The overwhelming need to make this something more for Derek after being so shy and scared before, but in the face of Derek’s obvious desire and the fire scorching through his veins, he finds himself leaning back, shoulder blades against the tiled wall his pelvis thrust out, he starts to run his hands over his body, his eyes locked with the wolfbeast’s.    Up and down his sides, over the planes of his chest, pinching his nipples to a pink ripeness that makes him moan,  sliding through the water pouring down on him to circle his belly button.  Fingers brush and tangle through the line of hair from his belly button to his groin. There is satisfaction in knowing that his lean and lightly muscled body is so attractive to his mate.  His cock has started to swell and he can feel it start to lift off his thigh where it had come to rest.   The rumble from Derek is so loud in the acoustics of the bathroom, it echoes round and round and Stiles could almost swear he feels the vibration travel through his chest.  The wolfbeast is pumping harder and harder almost brutal in his strokes, his cock so thick and full, the head glowing red with all the blood forced into it.    Stiles can’t stop the compulsion to reach out through the shower of water with one dripping hand and the wolfbeast freezes as he watches that hand get closer and closer to the head of his cock.  He hesitates and Derek thrusts forwards and Stiles’ fingers brush against the burning head and the tension in the room ratchets up to near explosive as Derek whines harshly, when Stiles dips one fingertip in the wide slit that flutters and pulses wildly around his digit it’s Armageddon.   The roar that Derek makes has Stiles staggering back, lifting his hands to his ears.. needs to stop them from bleeding it’s so loud.  Then Derek’s coming and he’s aiming it all over Stiles bare body.  He can feel the burning hot come across his chest and face before the scalding stripes are marking his groin and over his cock and balls, it mixes with the now luke-warm water and the sensation is incredible.  Derek reaches across and turns him with a firm but gentle claw, Stiles faces the wall presses his hot cheek to the cool tile, water sluicing down his back following the curve of his spine and over his ass.  He feels a momentary qualm at being in such a vulnerable position, quickly followed by the knowledge that Derek would never ever hurt him.    So he tilts his pelvis and it makes his ass stick out slightly, Derek’s not stopped coming it’s been pumping out relentlessly and Stiles feels more hit between his shoulder blades and then it’s running down the centre of his spine.  He whimpers when he feels something thick and hot nudge his buttocks, the tips of Derek’s claws delicately scrape as they prise them apart and he positions the head of his cock between Stiles’ ass cheeks, they’re spread so wide it’s a stretch that.. fucking hell.. it burns.    The spurts of come that are pumping out thick and hot are so forceful, so powerful that it feels like an actual finger aimed directly at his pucker pressing over and over and he can’t breathe it’s so fucking hot.  He’s not even taken his cock in hand and it’s pumping out another load against the tiles and Stiles can feel his pucker opening and closing because of his orgasm and it’s letting Derek’s burning hot come enter his body through his ass and that just makes him come harder and it’s a vicious cycle, repeating over and over and he’s… God he’s gonna fucking die.    His shaking legs can’t hold him upright any longer and he collapses to his knees his forehead pressed to the cold slick tiles.  Closes his eyes and lets the water rain down on him, shudders as the last ball-wrenching pulses are wrung out of him and struggles to suck in air into his labouring lungs.   The water is turned off and Stiles feels himself being lifted out of the bottom of the bathtub.  Derek puts him on his unsteady feet and the beads of water slowly trickle down the length of his body.  A large solid arm drapes over his left shoulder and down across to his right hip and hauls him back into the warmth of a furred muscular body.  With his other claw Derek reaches around and cups his chin.   “Sssshhhhttilllesssss.”  Stiles eyes flick open as hears his name from the muzzle of a wolf and he realises that Derek has positioned them in front of the large bathroom mirror.  Stiles is just shy of six foot but standing in front of the wolfbeast like this he can see Derek is at least a full head and shoulders above him in height.  Width wise, even with his reasonably broad shoulders it would take two of Stiles to equal the impressive bulk of his wolfbeast.    Derek drops his muzzle to Stiles’ ear and his red tongue flickers out and licks the whorls and then down along the length of his neck.   “Miiinne.”  Stiles meets Derek’s now green eyes in the mirror as he reaches up and caresses the wolfbeast’s face and Derek keens softly as he rests his head on Stiles’ shoulder.   “Derek.. I love you.. love you so much..”  Derek’s eyes close and for such a large powerful man/creature Stiles can feel him tremble with emotion and his heart aches.   Stiles shivers, and it’s not just from the warm moist air of the bathroom dissipating rapidly with the open door.  Still Derek grabs a large bath towel and wraps him in it before carrying him to his bedroom.    The room is dark, the only light from the hallway spills across the floor.  Stiles sways as Derek drops him onto his feet supports him with one gentle claw and before he can say anything.. the wolfbeast starts to dry him off.  He rubs and pats him with the soft towel.. everywhere.  It’s soothing and loving and Stiles feels safe and protected and oh so very tired.. he yawns over and over.. his eyes close and he’s struggling to keep them open and takes a few stumbling steps towards his bed, just needs to fall into it right now and not move for a couple of days.  Yep.. that’s a plan.   His head spins as he’s lifted off his feet and Derek’s holding him bridal style and he’s warm and furry and there’s that rumbling coming underneath his ear and it’s so comforting that Stiles can’t help but press his face in tighter against the wolfbeast.  He breathes in his scent of honey, coconut and an earthy musk that makes his cock twitch in sleepy interest.    Derek moves and then he’s being lowered onto clean cotton sheets, puffy pillows and warm woollen blankets which he’s too tired to drag over himself and just burrows in deep.  He sighs contentedly when he feels soft fur at his back and a heavy, muscled leg is thrown across his lower body and a wet muzzle presses against the back of his neck.  Derek’s hot, throwing off heat like an industrial furnace and Stiles just basks in it shifting back against the furry body behind him to get as close as he can when he feels a hot licking stripe of wet heat across the back of his neck and he trembles and mumbles drowsily before sleep claims him fully.   “Love you.. soooo much..”  Almost thinks he’s dreaming when he hears in his head..   “Love.. Stiles..”  But sleep has him in its firm grip and he lets himself be drawn into it.     Soft light filters into the room when Stiles wakes and he looks at where he’s been sleeping and his mouth gapes in open surprise.  He’s on the floor in his closet, the door is partially open and he’s lying on all the linen off his bed.. quilt, sheets, blankets and pillows.  Like a little nest.  He looks over his shoulder and sees Derek watching him with those beautiful green eyes and he gives him a smile.  Derek’s eyes lighten and Stiles thinks maybe he’s been worried about his reaction.    He’s surprised and not all at the same time.  Knows that Derek’s operating on a more instinctive level and one of those instincts would be to find a safe place to sleep, something very much like a den that a wolf in the wild would use.  Stiles rolls over and places his hand on the wolfbeast’s chest feeling the thundering beat of his heart beneath the massive ribcage.   “G’morning..”  Stiles whispers huskily.  He can’t believe how good he feels.. feels like he could get up and run 10 miles and come back and paint the front picket fence, if they had one, and then mow the lawn to boot.   Derek chuffs softly at him and nuzzles his throat in greeting.  Stiles is content to lie there and snuggle into his mate, loving the feel of such strong arms wrapping around him holding him close.  They lie there for the longest time.. content.  But, Stiles knows he won’t ever be fully content until they get Derek back to normal.   “Come on.. we’re going to see Deaton this morning and we are going to change you back into you.”  Stiles can see a fear in the wolfbeast’s eyes and he reaches up and cups his huge wolf head and looks into his eyes.  “Don’t underestimate me.. I will find a way.  No matter what it takes.  Okay?”   Derek nods slowly and noses into his throat and inhales deeply as though drawing in Stiles’ scent will give him the strength.. the hope he needs.      They make it to the Veterinary clinic without incident and Stiles thanks whatever powers that be, that he is the owner of a Jeep with a large rear space that can quite comfortable carry one 7 foot wolfbeast curled up and not some little buzzbox Japanese toycar.   Deaton who’s been expecting them after Stiles’ had phoned that morning to find out the best time to see him, is waiting by the sliding roller door and Stiles can reverse right back and Derek can get out without being seen and terrorising the local populace.  There will be no torch-bearing, pitchfork wielding mobs in Beacon Hills if he can help it.    Leading them into the examination room Deaton gets down to it and examines Derek thoroughly, first giving him a quick medical.  Taking the stethoscope buds out of his ears, he looks at them both.   “Well, physically you’re in absolute perfect health.”  Stiles can only look at him with what he’s sure is an expression of ‘tell me something I don’t know’.  "And Stiles how are you feeling?"   "Me.  Uhmm.. I'm good.  In fact.. really, really good.  I've not felt like this for a long time."  Deaton just nods his head as though it confirms something.  "Why what does it mean?"   "I suspect that the bond you have formed together.. it's given you some benefits.  I think that you are able to draw strength from each other and because your mate is an Alpha werewolf Stiles you are feeling the benefit of having such a strong powerful mate."   "Awesome."  He almost laughs when he sees the almost cocky preening expression that is on Derek's face.  The wolfbeast's chest puffs out quite noticeably and he rumbles in contentment.   “Derek.. I’d like you to hold onto this crystal..”  When he sees the dubious look on the wolfbeast’s face as he hands him a crystal that’s so clear and pure it looks like glass, he explains.  “It’s not magical as such.. it’s to help you focus, direct your thoughts and concentrate okay.”   “Don’t you have some sort of.. of herbs or potion that can change him back?  Poof you know.. one minute wolfbeast the next.. human.”  Stiles doesn’t know what he expected of Deaton but he’d kinda had his hopes set on the idea that he and wolfbeast/Derek would walk in and five minutes later he and human/Derek would walk out and let the happy sexy times begin.   Deaton just gives him a look, the one that tells him he’s being vaguely ridiculous and he can feel the incredibly powerful urge to squirm.   “This isn’t Hogwarts Stiles.. this effect from the Darach’s spell it’s a block that’s coming from Derek’s own ability to change and that’s what we need to work on.. his ability to transform.”  Deaton speaks so smoothly and reasonably that Stiles is almost comforted by it.. because it sounds like he knows what he’s doing.  A low hitching rumble comes from Derek and he sounds.. almost scared and Stiles reaches out and grabs his claw and holds it between his and sends love and comfort through the bond before releasing him.  Derek’s rumbling is steady and consistent now, like a running engine.   “Stiles do that again.”  He can’t help the confused look he gives Deaton, because he sounds kinda excited.  Which is.. yeah it’s kinda creepy coming from the normally emotionless Emissary.  “Hold Derek’s hand again and do.. whatever it is you did.”   Stiles clasps Derek’s claw again and sends through the bond, love and how happy he is that they are together.. Derek squeezes his hand lightly and Stiles can feel a reciprocated feeling of love, joy and a tenderness that makes his eyes sting.  Then he can see what has Deaton so excited.. the crystal is glowing and it’s a pure golden light that is almost painful to look at.   “Okay.. this is good.. this is very good.”  He looks thoughtfully at Stiles.  “I knew you had a spark of magic in you, but this is more powerful than I even suspected and we can use it.  This can help Derek, like jump starting a car, he should be able to transform with a boost from you.. I think he could do it.”   “Great.. lets do this.. come on Derek.”  He holds his hand out to Derek and smiles encouragingly at the wolfbeast.   Deaton arranges their hands around the crystal.  Stiles holds it at the base and at the top, Derek holds the sides and their fingers tangle, skin pressing into each other.   “Close your eyes and listen to me I want you to follow my instructions.  Derek I want you to focus and imagine yourself in your human form and try and tap into that part of you that allows the transformation.  Stiles I want you to continue to keep doing the same thing.. send your emotion whatever you’re feeling to Derek.”   Stiles sends a continuous stream of everything that he feels for the wolf.. love, desire, the need for him in all ways not purely the physical.  He pictures Derek in his mind, the thick black hair, the shadow of dark stubble across his lower face, dazzling eyes that he could drown in.. the vaguely ridiculous bunny teeth that make him want to kiss and lick into his mouth over and over.   Derek’s breath hitches and Stiles can’t help but open his eyes and standing before him is Derek.. human Derek in all his magnificent naked ass glory.  Derek’s eyes glow at him with a love that makes his insides quiver uncontrollably.  Then he’s not smiling anymore.. and Stiles can see the sweeping wave of black fur roll back over and Derek’s shape changes, becomes bigger and he’s got the wolfbeast in front of him again.   “No.. No..”  Stiles can’t let this happen, they’re so close.  He shuts his eyes and focuses and pushes everything he has back into that conduit, clamping down on Derek’s struggling fingers, he can feel the trembling wild thing that is Derek's wolf inside him and he grabs on forcing the change and he can hear Derek whining.  Can hear him whimpering.   “Stiles stop it..”   “No we’re so close.. can’t stop... can’t stop now.”  He grinds out, sweat pouring off him.   “Stiles, open your eyes.”  Deaton’s voice is like nothing Stiles has ever heard before, it’s full of power and it is old.. so old.. from a time when humanity huddled in caves at night around a fire to keep the shadows at bay and ancient deities walked the earth.   Stiles has no choice and he opens his eyes and gasps in horror.  Derek is on the floor and he didn’t even realise that he’d collapsed so focused on forcing the change and he’s a horrific blend of human and wolfbeast and he looks at Stiles so sadly from a face that still has a muzzle but it’s with pink human skin and no fur.  Stiles can feel tears pouring down his face at what he’s done to the other man.  He let’s go of the need to change him and lets only the feelings of love, comfort and apology gently trickle through.   Before his eyes, Derek’s back into his full wolfbeast form and he pants and gasps, shuddering on the floor with the body wrenching effort of changing.  Stiles drops to his knees and supports his head and shoulders, bracing them against his body.  Wrapping his arms around Derek his hands lie on his chest and he feels the thundering beat of his heart beneath his breastbone,  Stiles presses soft kisses against his head and everywhere he can reach saying over and over.   “I’m sorry.. sorry.. so sorry..”  Derek reaches up with one claw and entwines their fingers, with his other he reaches up and back and cups Stiles’ nape and presses down so their heads are tight together.  Stiles can feel love and acceptance flow from the conduit and into him.. and his stomach twists into knots at what he tried to force onto Derek.  He’s such a selfish prick.. thinking more of himself and not the other man.   “The connection you have is very strong and I think that’s why you can help him change.. not to be indelicate.. have you consummated the mate bond.”  Deaton looks down at them and for the first time Stiles thinks the Vet looks slightly uncomfortable, although he wishes it wasn’t because they were discussing Stiles and Derek’s sex life.  Anything but that.   “Consummate.  We uhh.. we’ve done somethings.. not THE thing though.”  He can feel himself start to blush, cheeks heating up.   Deaton looks thoughtful.  “I think if you fully consummate the bond.. your mate status.. I think you should be able to change Derek and make it stick.”   “You mean..”  Stiles can feel his eyes stretch wide as Deaton nods.  “I don’t know if you’ve happened to notice but.. Derek and I though compatible in a lot of ways..”  He looks down at the wolfbeast’s body and swallows hard.  “No fit.”   “Stiles.. think it through.. if not that way there’s always the opposite.”  Stiles can only look at Deaton like he’s speaking in tongues and maybe he is because he’s not making a lick of sense to Stiles.  He can feel Derek start to growl and it’s not in a happy way.  The wolfbeast sits up and the look he gives Stiles is frustrated and vaguely menacing and that’s when it clicks and something hot and aching tightens his groin and his muscles tense and lock as a shiver goes through his spine.   “Although I think you may have your work cut out for you.. Derek in this form is very much an Alpha.. a dominant type and would possibly view.. that as a very submissive act, it would be instinctive for him to fight it.  He would have to trust you.  A lot.”   “Holy shit..”  That’s about as much vocabulary Stiles has at the moment.  His head is spinning.  Whenever, he’d had a passing, fleeting… all right, all the flipping time, thought about he and Derek together it was always with the wolf as the top.. possessing him, claiming him.    He looks at Derek and knows that Derek can sense his arousal at the thoughts that are now currently running through his head.. of him sinking into Derek’s hot tight flesh and.. shit.. red flag.. red flag.   Derek growls hostile, his lips curl back to reveal his sharp teeth and fangs.   He’d often thought that if he ever had sex it just very might kill him.. he’d been kinda hoping it would be with pleasure and not with tooth and claw.   Derek had once threatened to rip his throat out with his teeth.. it was starting to look less of a threat and more of a premonition..  Stiles swallows hard.    What the hell was he supposed to do?   Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!