Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/192583.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Glee
  Relationship:
      Blaine_Anderson/Kurt_Hummel
  Character:
      Kurt_Hummel, Blaine_Anderson
  Additional Tags:
      First_Time, Body_Image, Smut
  Stats:
      Published: 2011-04-30 Words: 2752
****** The mirror's distortion ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     Kurt has a problem with communal showers, Blaine has a solution to
     get over of his fear. Fic originally posted on December 19th, 2010
When Kurt enrolled at Dalton, he expected rich wood paneling in his bedroom and
a private en suite bathroom. With the price of tuition, one would think that
everything would be a bit grander than a dorm room at a state college.
He doesn't get the wood paneling.
Instead, he has nice, mint green walls with a few tack holes left over from the
previous boarder. He doesn't mind at all, of course. The crown molding is very
beautiful and he still has beautiful wooden floors to admire. He can live there
easily, even if his roommate keeps odd hours and plays too much World of
Warcraft.
However, there is no en suite bathroom.
In fact, the Freshman and Sophomore showers are the absolute definition of
communal, a no-privacy style left over from when the school had originally been
built and had never been updated. With no partitions between shower heads, the
McKinley locker rooms seem like a luxury.
Kurt is, well, modest seems too quaint of a word. He knows that he uses clothes
and layers of fabric as a shield. When he wears a short sleeves or when his
collar bone shows past the neckline of his t-shirt, he feels naked though he
suffers through it for the sake of fashion. It isn't that he's particularly
ashamed of his body; he just doesn't like it. Being naked makes him feel cold
and foreign in his own skin and no amount of heat or self-affirmations in the
mirror can get him to feel any different.
Naturally, actually being naked in front of other people freaks him out in a
bad way. The first night at Dalton, he ended up staying awake far past curfew
and locked the bathroom door so that no one could get in. It wasn’t practical
and made Kurt exhausted the next day. Now, Kurt gets around the shower thing by
having friends in the upper echelons of the school hierarchy who let him into
the Junior bathrooms just before curfew.
Each night, Kurt finds himself in the Junior or Senior bathroom, washing as
quickly as possible before trotting off to his room on the floor below to
finish his moisturizing routine. After teaching the Warblers to dance, Wes and
David are more than happy to give him a hand; Josh is failing conversational
French and exchanges sneaking Kurt into the bathrooms for tutoring. Blaine lets
him into the bathroom and talks to him through the shower stall about Warbler
gossip and math homework.
Kurt manages to not use the Sophomore showers for over three months. By the end
of February, however, Josh is passing French, Wes and David are too busy
working on Warbler arrangements to help, and Blaine has had enough.
"You need to get over this, Kurt," Blaine says when Kurt asks if he'll let him
use the Junior shower later that night. "This is going beyond needing privacy.
You have a serious problem, Kurt. You can’t live your life ashamed of how you
think you look. "
"So I should be forced to shower with other people because the school wants to
repress its students by not updating its facilities?"
Blaine snorts. "It's something you just need to get over, Kurt. Forbid the day
you get a boyfriend who wants to see you naked."
Kurt flushes in both rage and embarrassment. He picks his homework up off of
the desk and stuffs it into his bag haphazardly. "I guess you won't find out,
will you?" he snaps and walks back to his room.
Once he's laying in bed, staring angrily at the ceiling, he regrets what he
said. They hadn't yet passed that last friendship barrier, though they'd both
expressed some interest, and bringing up their ambiguous relationship in an
argument is surely going to set them far back into the friend zone. Kurt isn't
sure who is more hesitant about passing the point of no return: him or Blaine.
His phone trills in his pocket a few hours later as he's continuing to beat
himself up over the argument and over his stupid body image issues. He glances
at the screen and bites his lip when he reads Blaine's message. Come upstairs
and bring your shower stuff. I want to apologize.
Taking it as a good sign that Blaine isn't mad at him, Kurt dresses into his
pajamas, grabs his shower things, and pads up to the third floor. The halls are
warm from the fires that crackle in the common areas of the dorm so he doesn’t
feel the need to pull on his Dalton sweatshirt to keep the chill away.
When Blaine opens the door holding his own toiletries and a towel, Kurt thinks
that maybe the text message should have been an omen.
"Before you say anything, I just want to say that I will completely understand
if you don't want to do this," Blaine says before Kurt can even open his mouth.
"You have issues, I get it. I did, too, when I transferred - you feel awkward
in your body because you don’t look like what the media says is beautiful and
you’ve never had anyone desire you before. So I totally get it, but I also made
myself get over it. I didn't have an upperclassman who would let me into the
private showers. I figured we could work on your issues. You can't keep using
the Junior showers forever, Kurt, so you need to get used to being naked in
front of someone other than a mirror."
"So what your saying is...." Kurt trails off, afraid of the images playing out
in his head.
"We'll shower together. In the Junior bathroom, of course," he explains. "You
trust me, right?"
"Yeah, of course."
"Good, come on." In a move that reminds Kurt of the day they met, Blaine grabs
his free hand and leads him to the showers. They stand in front of the furthest
stall for a moment, awkward and hesitant. Kurt can tell that Blaine hadn't
thought this far, hadn't considered that they'd both be naked in front of each
other once they'd stepped into the spray of water. "Why don't you go in first?"
"So I don't run away?"
Blaine grins warmly at him. "Something like that."
Kurt steps into the stall and shuts the door. He considers locking it but he
can't bring himself to disappoint Blaine, who is chatting happily at him in an
obvious attempt to calm his nerves. Kurt sets his caddy down in the shower and
turns the water on, the volume of Blaine's voice rising to be heard over the
noise.
With shaking hands, Kurt peels himself out of his pajamas and steps under the
spray. He takes a deep breath and says, "Okay," in a voice much smaller than
he'd meant to.
"We don't have to do this," Blaine says even as the partition door squeaks
open.
"It's okay," Kurt replies in the small voice, not entirely believing what he's
saying. Blaine's going to be the first boy to see him naked, see every
imperfection on his skin, his disgusting pear hips, the lack of definition on
his abs, and, fuck, his obvious procrastination at manscaping that week.
Kurt turns to the opposite wall as Blaine pulls the shower curtain back. Every
muscle in his back tenses when a familiar hand grasps his shoulder.
"Turn around, Kurt," Blaine says gently. Kurt lets out a shuddering breath and
turns, eyes trained to the ceiling so that he isn't tempted to ogle and freak
him out. With a nervous chuckle, Blaine says, "You can look, you know. It's
okay."
Kurt's eyes meet Blaine's, looking for something, anything that'll tell him
otherwise. Blaine smiles up at him, giving him the confidence he needs to look.
As Kurt's eyes glide across the planes of his shoulders, take in the strong
muscles of his arms, and wander down the contours of his chest, Blaine talks.
"I think my wrists are too narrow. That's kinda weird, right? My thighs are
kinda short and don't get me started on my boney knees. I hate my ass the most,
but-" he stops suddenly and Kurt's looking at his cock, a real life cock, and
not a generic huge cock he’s seen in porn. Kurt's suddenly very grateful for
his nerves as it is the only thing that is keeping him from embarrassing
himself with a surprise, albeit understandable, boner.
"I know my cock isn't perfect," Blaine whispers and Kurt can hear the quiver of
uncertainty in his voice. "I mean, all those websites say it's an average
length, you know? They say it's a grower - smaller when it's soft and the color
is kinda dark which is weird because it's not like I'm very tan and it's never
actually seen the sun, you know? It isn't-" Blaine pauses and sucks in a quick
gasp when he finally looks at Kurt. "God, you're gorgeous and here I am just
rambling about all of my imperfections."
Kurt tears his gaze away from Blaine's cock and looks back at his face. There’s
unabashed amazement etched across Blaine’s features as his eyes take in Kurt’s
body. "What?"
Blaine snaps out of his trance and looks up. "Sorry, that was inappropriate,"
he says breathily, bending down to get his shower gel and pouf. "We should
probably, you know, start showering before curfew."
Kurt hums in agreement and retrieves his own shower supplies. He wants to tell
Blaine how beautiful he is, from the light smattering of fur over his stomach
to the cut of his hips and collar. How could someone so beautiful find their
body so awkward and ugly?
He watches as Blaine lathers his torso, abs, thighs. He forgets what he's doing
as the suds slide off Blaine's skin, tantalizing. The muscles beneath the flesh
coil and tense as Blaine moves and the sight is so exquisite that Kurt can't
help but reach out and touch.
When Kurt places a hand on Blaine’s shoulder, Blaine startles and looks up
sharply, gaze questioning but warm. He searches for something to say, something
that'll tell Blaine that he has it all wrong, that Blaine is the most beautiful
person Kurt has ever seen. Instead he says, "I could wash your hair for you."
Kurt wants to hit his head against the tile wall when Blaine laughs. The
thought flees from his mind when Blaine passes him the shampoo and turns so
that his back faces Kurt. "That'd be awesome."
Smiling at the knowledge that Blaine isn't freaking out, Kurt puts a dollop of
shampoo in his hand and works it into Blaine's scalp. The black curls seem to
cling and tangle like vines as Kurt pushes his fingers through them.
"Your hair has a mind of its own," Kurt says with a chuckle. Blaine hums
happily and throws his head back to allow Kurt more access.
"That feels really good."
Kurt bites the inside of his cheek and presses his fingers harder against
Blaine's scalp, massaging the shampoo into every square inch. Blaine moans
suddenly and his body presses back against Kurt's. For one shocked second, they
don't make a move - Kurt's cock, though soft, is pressed up against the cleft
of Blaine's ass. Without explicitly telling his body to move, Kurt grinds up
slightly. It’s a small movement that isn't discernable except for the choked
whimper that escapes them both.
The moment is gone and they're both springing apart, shouting their apologies,
trying to drown the sound of the other's voice as they beg for forgiveness.
"I am so sorry, Kurt, I didn't mean-"
"This was such a bad idea, I didn't mean to do that, I'm sorry. "
Kurt hides in the corner, ashamed of his body as his cock twitches with
interest at the idea of rubbing up against someone else. He wants nothing more
than to disappear down the drain with the dirt and grime.
"I would totally understand if you never wanted to see me again," Kurt says
after a few minutes of silence.
There's a squeak as Blaine spins on the wet tile to face Kurt's back. "What?
Why would you think that?"
Looking over his shoulder, Kurt watches Blaine's expression slowly melt from
embarrassment to concern. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to - you know. Shit, I'm
worse than Karofsky."
Before Kurt can knock himself out by slamming his head against the tile in
self-flagellation, Blaine spins him around and pins his shoulders to the cold
tile wall. "You are nothing like that bully; don't ever think that you are."
"I just molested you. That's way worse than some homophobe kissing me."
Blaine bites his lip as he hesitates. "It wasn't molestation, Kurt. I wanted
it. I still want it."
There it is - cards on the table. Kurt can barely breathe at the weight of it
all. A guy he likes just admitted to wanting Kurt in a sexual capacity. He can
hardly believe it and nearly says so aloud before Blaine surges forward and
kisses him soundly.
Kurt melts under the heat of the kiss and the constant thrum of the water
against his body. His hands slip around Blaine's waist and Kurt pulls him
closer, momentarily shocked when their bare skin presses together as if he
forgot that they were naked in the first place. He feels liberated.
The feeling of freedom at his slackening anxiety is brief. Soon after, Blaine
is grinding up against him, their hardening erections slipping against each
other with help of the constant barrage of water over Blaine’s shoulder. Kurt's
eyes roll into the back of his head with pleasure and he forgets to breathe for
a moment. Blaine's lips press against his jaw, leaving hot, open kisses that
get washed away by the spray of the showerhead.
"Fuck, Kurt," Blaine groans into his neck when Kurt begins rocking his hips as
well. "You're so amazing, so beautiful. I've wanted to do this for so long."
"Yeah?" Kurt asks, choking down much needed air when his lungs begin to burn.
"Why didn't we do this sooner?"
"You had drama. I wasn't going to put any more pressure on you."
"The pressure, as you call it, would have been welcomed." Kurt keens when
Blaine's hands wander down to the crack of his ass and pauses, asking for
silent permission. "God, don't stop!"
Fingers find their way to Kurt's hole and rub against the sensitive skin but
don’t penetrate. He isn’t ready for that yet; Blaine knows that, but it’s nice
to know that there’s someone who does want to go there, press there, touch
there. Kurt's head feels like it's spinning from all of the sudden pleasure.
When it was just himself and everything was in his control, the pleasure was
simple, almost organized. This is so different, so completely out of his
comfort zone that it becomes too much for his body to hold onto.
He lets go.
Kurt comes, sticky and messy between their bodies. Blaine continues to rock
into his hip, trying to avoid Kurt's cock that is still hard but too sensitive
to touch. His fingers dig into the flesh of Kurt's ass but not hard enough to
bruise. Kurt kisses him passionately, running his fingertips over Blaine's hips
to entice an orgasm out.
"Touch me," Blaine whispers against his mouth. "Please."
Without having to be told twice, Kurt's hand slips between them and cups
Blaine's cock. It's hot and heavy in his grasp - foreign yet familiar. When
Kurt strokes, Blaine whines, pants, makes these high-pitched little noises that
Kurt wouldn't have expected from him. When Kurt's fingers swipe at the
sensitive crown, Blaine begins to babble, coherent words forming incoherent
sentences.
The onslaught of desperate pleadings is cut off when Blaine kisses him sloppily
as he comes. The semen is warm on his hand, made warmer from the heat of the
shower. Kurt holds Blaine as he comes down from his pleasure, panting into his
shoulder and knees threatening to give out, and stares at his hand in awe. He
did that; he was desirable enough to make another boy orgasm and scream his
name. Kurt feels like he's found himself in a different universe than his own.
Blaine kisses his jaw and mumbles his thanks into the skin as Kurt washes away
the last evidence of their coupling. "You're so beautiful, Kurt. I hope you
know that."
Kurt pushes the wet fringe of Blaine's hair away from his forehead and smiles.
"I do now."
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