Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/10663179. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: F/F Fandom: SKAM_(TV) Relationship: Eva_Kviig_Mohn/Vilde_Hellerud_Lien Character: Eva_Kviig_Mohn, Vilde_Hellerud_Lien, Noora_Amalie_Sætre, Sana_Bakkoush, Chris_Berg Additional Tags: Fluff_and_Smut, Girl_Squad_-_Freeform, Friends_to_Lovers, evilde_- Freeform, Coming_Out Stats: Published: 2017-04-18 Chapters: 2/2 Words: 4323 ****** The feelings that arise ****** by Wortsalat Summary After Vilde realized she was never really in love with Magnus, her and Eva get closer at Isak and Even's housewarming party. Fluff, smut and a few girls squad moments. Notes Heyy, this is my very first fic and english is not my first language, I'm sorry for any mistakes that might be in here! The timeline is kind of all over the place, but putting the scenes in the right order seemed kind of boring? Idk, i hope it makes sense (the parts in italics happened before the party, but not in the order in which they appear) Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy it! ***** Chapter 1 ***** They had made out before. Several times, Vilde had lost count on how many times exactly, but it had never been like this. Sure, Eva never failed to make her feel hot all over, something that none of the boys she had ever been with managed to do. But this was different. It had never felt so... real before. Maybe it was the lack of alcohol, she figured. They both had barely drunken a glass of wine before they got to the party. Usually it would take them both to be more or less wasted to make out. She still felt her head spinning, despite being almost sober, as Eva ran her fingers through her hair and pushed her tongue inside Vilde's mouth. The kiss was warm and wet and open-mouthed, but not the most heated one they had ever shared, yet Vilde felt as if her knees were going to give out any second.   ***   Are you going to hook up with any guys tonight?", Vilde asked into the cold night air. "No." Eva said, smiling at her from the side, as they walked to Even and Isak's housewarming party. They had been pregaming at Eva's with the rest of the girl squad, but Vilde had forgotten her phone, so her and Eva had to walk back, while the others already went on to avoid being late. "But maybe I'm going to make out with you?" It was more of a question, but Vilde didn't know what to respond to that, so she chose to ignore it. "Chris is going to be there. Don't you want to hook up with him?" It wasn't that Vilde didn't want to make out with Eva, quite the opposite actually, but she didn't know what all of this meant. The way she acted wasn't typical for Eva. "No, I don't." "Why not? Did he do something?" "No." Eva let out a small huff. It felt like Eva was teasing her, waiting for her to ask further, before she would answer the question. "Why not?" "Because I don't like him that much. I enjoy kissing him. But I like kissing you more."   ***   The way Eva had approached her had also been so different from the other times. She wasn't her last resort, when no one else wanted to make out with her. She was her first choice. She liked kissing her more. The whole evening, Eva only had eyes for her. After they had greeted the hosts, she had asked her if she wanted a drink, which Vilde declined. She usually liked to get drunk, but today she felt like she didn't need to. They danced with each other, and only with each other, the whole evening. They got closer and closer, until Eva was basically wrapped around Vilde from behind, her arms around her waist, her breasts against her back, her head rested on Vilde's shoulder, whispering compliments into her ear. "You look so pretty tonight, Vilde." "I love dancing with you." "Do you know how fantastic you look in that dress", only to whisper a second later "Fuck that dress. You always look beautiful. You're so gorgeous, Vilde." Vilde closed her eyes and swayed her hips to the beat, trying to sort out what was going on, while Eva started to kiss her cheek and then down the side of her neck. Eva had been acting weird ever since Vilde had told the girls about her and Magnus earlier this evening. Not weird in a bad way, but she was acting different. Like someone had woken her up. Like this was her time, her chance to make things right, to do whatever it was she had to do. Currently she was still caressing Vilde's neck with her lips, while her hands wandered from Vilde's waist, over her arms, up to her shoulders, and she slowly started turning her around, while they where still dancing. "Vilde?", she purred into her ear, "Can I kiss you?" Vilde didn't think she could even form a sentence right now, so she just nodded and let herself melt into Eva's arms, as she connected their lips, in a way they had been so many times, but it had never felt like this.   ***   "What's up, Vilde?" Noora was the one who asked what anyone else had been wondering. Something was wrong. Vilde hadn't eaten a single bit since she arrived and only nipped at her glass of wine a few times. She had just stared at the floor in Eva's living room, in deep thought, not participating in the conversation. She hadn't even commented on the newest gossip about who was hooking up with who, and that was when they knew something was wrong. "I have to tell you something" she admitted after a while and when no one said anything, she went on "Magnus and I broke up." "Vilde, I'm so sorry", Noora said and tried hugged to hug her at an awkward angle, over the corner of the coffee table. Vilde let her, but not without correcting the assumption that she was sad. "No, it's okay. I'm not sad. I was... I was actually the one who suggested, that we should break up." Now all of the girls looked at her in complete confusion. She couldn't hold it against them. She had lied to all of them and to herself, trying to be someone else, and who could blame them for believing it. "Why?", Sana asked. "Because we shouldn't have been together in the first place." "What? I thought he was so good in bed?", Chris still looked confused. "I thought you were so happy with him?" Noora said. Eva said nothing. "I lied." Vilde felt that she was tearing up. The facade she had build up for herself had started to crack long ago, but now she wanted to tear it down. "I lied about all of it. I didn't enjoy sex with him and I didn't love him and I feel so guilty that I dragged him into this, but I guess I kinda just wanted to feel wanted and to be normal, because what girl has zero feelings for her boyfriend, or any boy ever, that's just not normal and..." She rambled, like she always did, while she broke into tears. Noora, who had now come around the table and sat down next to her, and Sana hugged her from both sides and told her it was okay. Chris patted her hand and passed her a tissue to dry her tears. Eva still just sat there. She looked fondly at the girl crying in front of her, but also brooding, as if she was trying to wrap her head around a complicated issue, trying to figure out a solution. "Even when I was with William I didn't like it. I admired him for years, but when we actually had sex it felt like nothing. I didn't even want to kiss him, I just liked telling everyone that I was with him." She cried some more and tried to stop her make up from completely smearing, but it was too late for that. After the girls had comforted her enough to stop crying she asked "Do you think I'm a lesbian?" She almost whispered it, as if she was afraid the others might actually hear the question and looked at her friends, wide-eyed. Eva, who had stared at the floor, looked up at her. "I don't know, Vilde, we can't tell you that. Only you can know that." said Sana, after a few seconds. "That's right." said Noora, "But if you are, you know, there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian, you said so yourself." "You remember that?" "Sure, Vilde. I remember a lot of things you said, like when you told us that the feelings that arise while making out with girls don't mean you're a lesbian. And that an orgasm for you feels like a sneeze down there. And..." She listed more things that Vilde had once said, but she had stopped listening. Because she remembered when she said that "the feeling that arise don't necessarily mean you're a lesbian", she hadn't been talking about making out with girls in general. She had been talking about making out with Eva, who was staring at the floor right now, but suddenly looked up to meet Vilde's eyes. Her expression was full of wonder and curiousness, but also pride. There was a slight smile on her lips. "Remember when you bought way too much toilet paper for our Russebus?" Chris chimed in with the memory sharing. "That was before we even knew the rest of you." "Yeah, that's actually how we met" Eva said, softly smiling at Vilde, still holding her gaze. "Oh right, of course, you went to get me and then you brought penetrator Chris instead, right? Oh my god, I can't believe it started out like that. You two are like a thing now and all because we have the same name." "I can't believe I met all of you. Cause that's far more important." Eva said. They raised their glasses to friendship (and name-twins) and Vilde got up to fix her ruined make up. When she came back the topic had changed. She engaged in the conversation and ate some of the now cold pasta they had made before and everything was back to normal. It was not as if nothing ever happened though, Vilde knew she could bring up the subject again and talk about her feelings some more, if she wanted to, but right now she didn't feel like it. To know that she could trust her friends, that they would always support her, was enough for her. And when the five of them put on their jackets to leave and Eva leaned over for a moment to whisper a small "I'm so proud of you" into Vilde's ear, she felt as if her heart was about to burst with happiness. She turned into a shy, giggling mess and completely forgot about her phone still lying on the tray next to the door.   ***   They were touching everywhere possible. Their legs, their hips, their chests, their mouths were pressed against the other, and their hands moved over each others bodies as they kissed and grinded against each other. Their kisses had gotten messier over the last couple of minutes. A strangled moan escaped Vilde's mouth as Eva licked into her mouth, tongues touching, hands gliding down Vilde's back, resting on her ass. Her own hands pressed against Eva's back, holding her as tight as possible. They were still swaying their hips to the music, grinding against each other, and Vilde figured, that this must be what it was supposed to feel like when you wanted someone. And that it should always be like this. You shouldn't think about your outfit when imagining sex with someone. And Vilde didn't. She was imagining a thousand scenarios in her head right now, but not in one of them was she wearing clothes. She hadn't realized when it had become so incredibly hot in the room. Eva seemed to feel the same way because suddenly she pulled of and, visibly out of breath, asked "You sure, you don't want a drink? It's getting kinda hot in here." Vilde shook her head and smirked. She leaned in to graze Eva's ear with her teeth and, too turned on to think much about it, said something she would have never pictured herself saying. "No. I want you." And with that she slid her hand under Eva's shirt, up her back. Evas eyes went wide with surprise, but even more with lust. "Fuck." She was breathing heavy now. "How are you so hot?" "I don't know, you tell me." Vilde didn't even know where she took this sudden confidence from, but it felt as if Eva had kissed her insecurities away for the moment. "Do you..." Eva blushed and stumbled with words. Vilde couldn't believe she did that. She had turned the most gorgeous girl in the world into a stuttering mess. "Do you maybe wanna get out of here? I mean, maybe, go back to my place? I mean, you don't have to do anything, we could just stay here you know..." "I would really love to get out of here." They both grinned and went to get their jackets. They didn't even say goodbye or tell anyone where they were going, they could figure everything out later. Right now the only thing that counted was the two of them, in this moment, lips meeting each other for a short, sweet kiss, before they walked put if the apartment, hands entangled into the night. ***** Chapter 2 ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes Eva didn't think she had ever gotten back to her house that fast. They almost stumbled over each others legs as they made their way down to Eva's room in the basement, while making out. Eva pressed Vilde against the wall and slowly started pulling down the zipper of her leather jacket. A bit too slow for Vilde, apparently, as she swiftly opened the jacket and let it glide to the floor, while Eva pulled off her own jacket. She didn't even know what to do, when they were both undressed, all she knew was that she wanted to get rid of all their clothing a fast as possible. Vilde was still kissing her, wet and open-mouthed, as she slid her hands, that were currently resting on Eva's hips under her shirt, pulling it upwards. "Lift your arms" she told her and pulled it off completely. She ran her hands through Eva's beautiful, ginger hair, let them wander down her neck, over her shoulders, to her chest. She opened Eva's bra and let it fall to the floor to the rest of the clothes. She licked into Eva's mouth and touched her breasts, but only slightly because she didn't want to be like some of the guys she had hooked up with, unsubtly groping her boobs. So she only let her fingers ghost over Eva's soft chest, grazing her nipple with her thumb. Eva let out a shuddered breath at the touch and stopped her movements for a moment, to just enjoy the sensation, before she continued pulling down the zipper on the back of Vilde's dress and undressing her. She moved them towards her bed as she opened Vilde's bra and laid her down on the mattress. She started half kissing, half licking down her neck and chest, caressed her breasts and her already aroused nipples with her tongue, until the beautiful girl beneath her let out a quiet moan. She tried to get her jeans off, but failed hopelessly in this position, so she had to get up. "Fucking skinny jeans", she laughed as she fought her way out of them, the way she did every day. "But your ass looks good in them", Vilde replied, smiling. "Does it, huh?" she asked, getting back on the mattress, now straddling Vilde, who was sitting half upright, leaning back against the pillows. She locked their lips again, cupping Vilde's face, and let her hands roam over her body then, further down than to her breasts this time. Fingers trailing over her stomach, until they came to halt at the hem of her panties. Suddenly Vilde was tense and pushed Eva's head a bit back to quietly ask, "Eva? Have you ever done this before?" It wasn't a very well-phrased question, she almost expected Eva to teasingly ask "Done what before?", but she didn't. She looked her in the eyes, serious and full of affection. "No, I have no clue what I'm doing either, Vilde. But we'll figure this out together, okay?" And Vilde didn't exactly know why she felt so comforted by that. Maybe it was that she was so honest and open about it. Maybe it was because she called her by her name and stroked her hair and looked her tenderly into the eyes as she said it. Maybe it was because she somehow always felt safe with Eva. But it worked and Vilde just nodded and whispered a small "Okay." They took it slow, like they had all the time in the world, there was no pressure. After they had completely undressed each other, Eva lay on top of Vilde, kissing her neck again. She liked every part of Vilde, but her neck was especially perfect. She decided to make it less perfect, to leave a mark that would stay even after this was over. So she began sucking a bruise into the crook of her neck. Vilde let out a strangled moan. Eva loved her moans. She wanted more of them. She wanted to give her everything, just in exchange for her beautiful moans. Fuck, she thought, as Vilde brought one of her hands to her lower back and the other one to her ass, she wanted to give this girl the world. But for now, she had to work with what she had, but the least she could give her was a hickie and an orgasm. She slid off of Vilde, only covering half of her body with her own now, and began to trail her right hand, that had been tangled in Vilde's beautiful blond hair until now, down her body excruciatingly slowly. She kissed her and only stopped to ask if this was okay, when her finger came to a halt right over her clitoris. "Yeah", Vilde breathed and closed her eyes as Eva began moving her fingers. She drew small circles, the way she did for herself, alternating between more and less pressure. Barely touching her skin in one moment, tracing light patterns at a quick pace, and moving her fingers slowly and with more pressure the next moment. When she felt that Vilde was wet enough, she slid her index finger inside her, still caressing her clit with her thumb. She could stroke her less precisely that way but Vilde's moans told her that it was just right. Vilde breathed heavily. She was positive that she had never felt so aroused before. She didn't want to think about anyone else she had been with in this moment, only about Eva. Not that she had it in her to think about anything at all right know, but she still knew, that Eva would easily win every comparison she could possibly make. She had never felt so loved and cared for. Eva kissed her and smiled to her while she stroked her. And it wasn't like she got herself off on fingering Vilde, she did this exclusively to Vilde's pleasure, to make her feel good. No one had ever done that for her. "Eva" she breathed. "Ja?", Eva purred. "I've never come during sex before", she blurted out. "But you have with yourself?" Vilde was aware that she would never admit to that under different circumstances. Despite talking about sex in great detail she would never tell anyone that she masturbated. It was too big of a taboo, too intimate. But Eva hat quite literally seen every part of her, she had her fingers inside her body in this very moment, so how much more intimate could it get, really. "Yes." Vilde said. "And It think i might now, too, with you." "You just have to let go, baby. It's all right." Vilde loved that Eva had just called her baby, but she didn't have it in her to respond to that, all she could concentrate on were Eva's movements, getting faster, Eva's lips on her chin and her cheek and her eyelids and her forehead, everywhere but her lips. "Kiss me" was the last thing she could get out, before she came, moaning into Eva's mouth. It felt completely different than what she used to. When she had gotten herself off it was like a wave of pleasure rolling through her, but this was more of a tsunami. Eva kissed her through it and stroked her hair with her free hand. She moaned, which she usually never did, and she was glad for Eva's mouth to muffle the sounds. It was so intense that she couldn't do anything but lay there for a while, while her orgasm rushed through her whole body and completely messed with her head. "Fuck." "Yeah, fuck. That was intense. And quite a beautiful sight, seeing you come like that, to be honest." Eva cupped face and kissed her cheek and just lay there, next to her, looking proud that she had managed to wreck Vilde like that. She lay there and asked for nothing in return, she didn't expect her to do anything. Vilde was so in love. It took her a minute to collect herself enough to form thoughts in her head and speak and move again. "Thank you", she whispered, as she turned her head towards Eva, to kiss her. "You're so welcome." "No lie on your back so I can return the favor." "Vilde, you have to return nothing, okay? We can just cuddle if you want." Vilde smiled. So, so in love. "But I really wand to." She had Eva lie down on her back and started kissing her way down her neck, caressed her boobs for a bit before moving down further, kissing her stomach. Eva let out a pleasured sigh. "I love when someone touches my belly. It makes things kind of... more intense for me." Vilde gave her a thankful smile for telling her what she liked. It made it easier. And it made her feel more secure. "Have you ever had anyone go down in you?" she asked. Eva shook her head. "Still not happened. I mean... until now, I guess." "I have. And I can tell you, it's quite nice. But you have to tell me, like... If it's good, what you want, you know." "Okay", Eva whispered, smirking. Then Vilde began actually licking her and her smirk disappeared from her face almost instantly. Instead her mouth was agape, short-breathed sounds escaping from it. Vilde traced her flat tongue over her clit in no specific pattern, she moved it in small circles and long strokes, she even pushed it down further in the direction if her opening, licking down and slightly wiggling her tongue on the way up. Her hands caressed Eva's breasts and especially her belly and she had her eyes closed while she ate her out. It was a sight to die for, honestly. She only looked up to see Eva fall apart beneath her. "Is it good like that?" she asked, and god, Eva loved that girl. As if her raspy moans weren't clear enough she let out a breathy "Ja", before she let her head fall back against the pillows and closed her eyes. It wouldn't take much more, she felt it. Maybe just slightly more pressure. "Could you... like... ahh, make your tongue a bit more sharp?" she asked, moaning, and Vilde did just that. The pleasure became even more intense and it only took a few more stroke before she came, a writhing mess underneath Vilde's mouth. She arched her back and rocked her hips up in the same movement, to meet Vilde's tongue to ride out her orgasm. "You're pretty good at this, you need to teach me", she said when she came down from the high of just having come, putting an arm around Vilde who snuggled up to her, resting her head on Eva's chest. "Serr?" "Ja, completely. You were right, this is really nice. We should do that more often." Vilde smiled brightly at her. "I agree." Eva smiled back and picked up the blanket from the end of the bed and threw it over the both of them. "I'm gonna text the girls that we got home safe so they won't worry", she told Vilde, as she grabbed her phone to type out a quick message. "Thank you, Eva. For everything, you know." "Thank you, too", Eva replied, then she placed one more kiss on Vilde's forehead and turned the lights off, before they fell asleep in each other's embrace.   ***   "I have made out with Eva before. The feelings that arise don't necessarily mean that you're a lesbian", Vilde had said, almost a year ago. And she stuck to that statement. Kissing Eva didn't make her gay. But laying here, when she woke up in the morning, softly stroking Eva's hair, watching her sleep, wishing that she could do this every morning, wishing she could wake up next to this gorgeous, ginger girl, she realized, she had fallen in love with somewhere along the way, that kind of made her gay. Because she had never felt this way about anyone else. Not with William, not even with Magnus. As much as she tried to convince herself and the word that she loved him, she never did. But she did love Eva, with all her heart. "God morgen" Eva murmured as she slowly woke up, blinking a few times, before looking up at Vilde. "I think I love you" Vilde blurted out, because she had never been one to keep her thoughts bottled up. She always said the first thing that came to her mind without thinking about the consequences. It was one of the things she disliked most about herself. She thought it made her look stupid and unthoughtful, but she didn't know that it was one of the things Eva loved about her. So she didn't expect to see a bright grin break upon Eva's face and even less for her to say "What took you so long", before leaning in to kiss her in a way that made all of Vilde's insecurities disappear for a second. "I love you, too, Vilde." They smiled at each other for while, before Eva asked, "What do you think about pancakes for breakfast?" And without thinking about it, Vilde replied "pancakes sound perfect." Chapter End Notes Oh my god, you made it 'til the end! Thanks so much for reading, if you have any thoughts to share, I'd be so happy to read them! Are you rooting for Evilde in S4 as much as I do? Wish you all a wonderful day <3 Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!