Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/769567.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Relationship:
      Castiel/Dean_Winchester, Jessica_Moore/Sam_Winchester
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Angst, Mpreg, Oral_Fixation, top!dean,
      Bottom!Cas, Self_Lubrication, Masturbation, Spanking, Dirty_Talk, Light
      Bondage, Size_Kink
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-04-21 Updated: 2013-08-10 Chapters: 7/10 Words: 8443
****** The Wounds Love Leaves Behind ******
by asmyviolingentlyweeps
Summary
     Dean Winchester blew into town like a hurricane, and left just as
     fast with as much damage as one too.
***** Chapter 1 *****
                         00. New Home, Same Old Story
“I don’t understand why we couldn’t just stay with Bobby,” Sam pouted sinking
farther down in the back seat of their Impala, watching the fall-hued scenery
flash by them as they left Souix Falls for yet another new town a few states
away.
“I’ve already told you Sam, Bobby can’t watch you guys all the time, it’s not
fair on him,” John said with an exasperated sigh, “You guys aren’t little kids
anymore, Dean can watch after you just fine now for a few weeks while I’m away
on a hunt,”
“But dad-”
“Sammy just leave it,” Dean finally butted in on the rising argument, too tired
to deal with their shit as he lit up a cigarette, “We’ll see Bobby again,”
“Maybe,” Sam muttered darkly under his breath, pulling his bag into his lap and
fishing out his old and frayed copy of The Great Gatsby.
 
Dean looked at the two story building that was the high school, his hand
ruffling Sammy’s hair affectionately as they walked to the entrance, “Could be
worse right, Sammy?”
“Could be better,” He said, angrily shoving Dean away, “Let’s just get this
over with,”
Dean sighed and shook his head, winking at a group of cheerleaders in uniform
as they waited for the doors to be open as they walked by.  The girls giggled
and whispered to themselves, pointing with smiles.  One of them stared openly
with a flirtatious look in her pale yellow eyes.
Dean saw Sammy to his first class before heading for his own on the other side
of the building with a whisper to, “Play nice with the other kids, and makes
some friends,”
“Why we’re just gonna leave again,”
Dean rolled his eyes and pushed Sammy into the classroom, “Just… be good,
Sammy, ok?”
“Sure whatever,”
 
“Would you like to explain to the class why you decided my class wasn’t worth
getting to on time?”
Dean bit his tongue and looked at the ceiling, ignoring the old biddy of a
teacher who’s frazzled brown hair had seen much better days, he smirked and
said, “Nope,”
“Go take a seat, Mr. Winchester,”
Dean smiled as he scanned the room, almost missing the lone open desk in the
back for the beauty that sat next to it.  He was easily shorter than Dean, with
short but riotously curly black hair and the kind of blue eyes that sang of
waters’ uncharted depths.  Dean walked with purpose to the seat and plopped
down, giving the boy a once over before leaning over and whispering
conspiritively.
“Hi, I’m Dean,”
“Hello Dean,” He said back, eyes flickering to the new student, “My name is
Castiel,”
“Castiel, huh?” Dean smirked, “Ain’t that some kind of angel name?”
“No, close, but no.  You’re thinking of Cassiel,” He said, trying to keep from
staring at the new kid – Dean, he mussed in the back of his mind – was he
trying to get his ass kicked? No one talked to him, or even vaguely associated
with him besides his siblings.  This small town wasn’t known for its tolerance
of being different, and being both a carrier and homosexual? You might as well
be the devil for all they cared.  Though considering his older brother was
beloved by most of the school and his name was Lucifer, that might not be a
good analogy.
“Eh-hem,” The teacher cleared her throat and glared at them before snapping,
“Perhaps you’d like to tell the class what’s so much more interesting than
trigonometry?”
“Just getting to know my fellow students,” Dean said with a cocky grin and
quark of a brow, as if daring her to say another word.
“Hmph,” She turned back to the board and began lecturing again.
 
Sam anxiously took his seat and got out his notebook, trying to avoid attention
as he quickly jotted down every word the teacher was saying.  One of the
cheerleaders from earlier sat to his left kept looking over with those pale
eyes and frankly Sam was starting to get a bit unnerved when the teacher
started assigning a project.
“Jessica?” The teacher asked the girl who smiled back and happily replied.
“Yes, Mr. Morison?”
“Perhaps you’d like to work with Sam, show him the ropes and everything?”
“Can do!” She said, turning so that her desked touched his.
“Hi, my name’s Jessica, that older boy with you this morning, was he your
brother?” She asked quickly but didn’t pause for breath before continueing,
“Where did you live before you moved here? Do you have any pets? I have a dog,
a cat, three fish, and my sister has a ferret, but I don’t like the ferret,
he’s mean.  I bet you’re great at English, you have that ‘booky’ kind of look.
I’m not so good with English, maybe you could tutor me sometime?”
“Gosh, Jess, let the poor boy get a word in,” Another girl teased, pushing
playfully on Jessica’s shoulder as her face turned bright red.
“Sorry, I tend to get really excited easily,” She murmured.
“It’s ok,” Sam said, surprisingly jovial.  Jessica reminded him of a puppy, and
her grin was infectious, “I’m Sam.  Yeah he’s my big brother, Dean. No. That’s
cool, too bad about the ferret. Yeah it’s my favorite subject, and sure,”
“Awesome!”
 
“So, Cas,” Dean said when the bell finally rung, “What’s your next class?”
“Merryweather, French,” Castiel said, unnerved by Dean’s attention.
“Me too,” Dean said with a huge grin, “Walk with me?”
“Sure,” Castiel slowly replied, wincing internally but mentally preparing
himself for what he knew was going to unfold along the way.   Better Dean
realize what he was messing with now rather than down the road, “I just need to
stop by my locker,”
“Lead the way,” Dean said with a gestering hand and a laugh.
Castiel tried to ignore the snickering of the students they passed, the way
people were purposefully going out of their way to bump into him, and one even
did so to the point where his books dropped to the floor as the guy whispered a
slur so low Castiel thought he was the only one to hear it.  To his abject
horror Dean grabbed the guy and spun him around when Cas went to pick up his
books.
“What the hell did you just say?” Dean spit out slamming the guy into the
closest locker and ignoring everything else.
“I said,” The muscular brute growled, “Fucking. Fags.”
Castiel almost didn’t believe it when Dean let loose his fist straight into the
Jock’s nose, or the metallic smelling blood that poured out of the broken
appendage.  He just stood there, stunned, watching as the two boys got into it,
kicking and hitting, though Dean had a significant upper hand.  Finally the
Jock heeled, and Dean pushed him to the floor.
His gaze was finally wrought from the scene as the principle pushed through the
crowd of students and grabbed both him and Dean by the arm, dragging them to
his office.
 
“Wonder what’s going on?” Sam whispered to Jess as they saw the huge blockade
of students flooding the hallway.
“Who knows?” Jessica shrugged, pulling him back, “We’d better not get involved,
come on, I know another way around,”
 
The nurse puttered about her little office looking between the two injured
boys, annoyed at both’s insistence that they were fine.  Castiel sat next to
Dean looking vaguely nauseous, but she couldn’t care less about that.  The
principle was yelling about expectations and expulsions, not that Dean was
paying any attention.
He was puzzled, while yeah he had a temper he’d never gone off like that before
over some stupid jerk with a chip on his shoulder.  Something about Cas though,
it just got under his skin in the best and worst ways.  For the life of him,
though, Dean Winchester couldn’t figure out why.
In the end the two boys got off with a few days in detention and Cas with a
warning which only served to piss Dean off farther.  Cas hadn’t done anything
but be bullied. By the end of the day though the whole thing was just a passing
memory as the two boys discovered they had nearly identical schedules save for
Dean taking PE and Cas opting for Vocal Arts.
“Hey, you free Friday night?” Dean asked as they waited in front of the
building for Sam to come out and Cas’ older brothers to show up.
“Yes,” Castiel said with a smile, more happy than he’d been in… years.  He had
a friend, who’d actually stuck up for him.  It didn’t hurt that Dean Winchester
made his stomach a butterfly farm and his heart pick up the pace like he was
running a marathon.  Dare he even hope that maybe Dean liked him too?
“Cool,” Dean said just as Cas spotted his brothers and Sam came out the door,
talking excitedly with a short cheerleader, “How about a movie? I could pick
you and we could catch whatever’s around say, 8?”
“Yeah, that sounds great,” Castiel blushed, “There’s my brothers so I should
go,”
“See ya, Cas,”
 
“Who was that, Dean?” Sam asked coming up to where his brother lounged against
the building.
“Ah, just a guy I’m getting to know, Castiel,” Dean said, musing up Sam’s hair,
“Who’s your girlfriend?”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” Sam growled, “And her name is Jessica, she lives
down the road from our motel so I figured it’d be cool if I went over to her
place.  We have a project in-”
“Sammy,” Dean laughed, “It’s ok, you’re in the 9th grade now, you can go hang
with your new friend.  Just be back by dark,”
“Thanks,” Sammy said, distracted when Jessica pulled on his shirt whispering
that her mom was here, “See ya,”
“Oh and Sammy!” Dean called out to his brother’s retreating figure, “Be
careful!”
 
“Who was that, Castiel?” Michael asked pulling away from the school and heading
towards their families mansion on the outskirts of town.
“Yeah Cassi, spill,” Gabriel poked him.
“Please Gabriel, leave it alone,” Castiel said closing his eyes and breathing
deep, “I don’t want you four running him off like last time,”
“Last time the guy was a megalomaniac, closeted, abusive asshole who covered
you in bruises, Castiel,” Michael said, gripping the steering wheel tight at
the memory, “We are merely concerned for your well being,”
“You don’t have to be,” Castiel said smiling as he related the early morning
incident to his brothers.
“Whoooa,” Balthazar whistled, “Not bad, Cassi,”
“Just be certain he has no ill will towards you,” Lucifer added helpfully,
“Might I suggest we meet with him first-”
“No!” Castiel groaned out, “Don’t go anywhere near him, Luce, that goes for you
three too,”
“It was just a suggestion,” Lucifer pouted, crossing his arms and slumping down
in the front seat.
 
Later that night, long after Sammy had gotten home and fell asleep, Dean laid
down in his bed under the covers with his lips pressed tightly together.  He
palmed the erection that had sprung up unexpectedly a few hours earlier and had
since refused to go away.  His breath came in small little pants as he pressed
hard against it before spit slicked beneath his boxers.  He ran his hand from
base to tip slowly, swirling a dot of pre-cum around the tip as he brought to
mind an image of Cas, with those blue eyes looking up at him as he sucked his
cock, those pale pink, horribly kissable lips all streached and bruised as Dean
fucked his face.
Dean bit his lip as he came quicker than usual, wiping his hand off on the
sheets as he drifted off into sleep, unaware that on the other side of town Cas
was doing the same thing.
***** Chapter 2 *****
                 01. What Is This Feeling, So Sudden and New?
 
The next couple of days passed by in a pleasurable blur for both boys.  Dean
and Cas talking a lot and finding out they really did click, and Sam finding
that he really enjoyed Jessica’s company.  By the time Friday night rolled
around Dean was ready to just push Cas against a wall and kiss him senseless. 
Jessica was apparently coming over to the Motel to hang out with Sammy, which
had caused Dean to tease him senseless all day before handing him a condom on
the way out the door with a chuckled, “Have fun!”
Dean followed Cas’ instructions out of town and found himself at a gate.
With an intercom.
“Hello?” He asked, pushing the button.
“Yes,” A stately voice replied with just a hint of a British accent, “Who would
this be?”
“Uh, Dean Winchester.  I must have the wrong-”
“Ah yes, Mr. Winchester, please proceed,”
The gate swung open as Dean’s jaw dropped.   He continued up the landscaped
driveway for a good mile before coming upon the largest house, if it even
classified that at three stories high and easily a football field long, he’d
ever seen.  He just stopped in front of what he hoped was the main door and sat
in the beat-up old clunker that his dad and rented for him to use while he was
gone with the impala.  He reached besides him and grabbed out a cigarette,
lighting it up while he mentally prepared himself.
Inside Castiel paced the foyer anxiously as he waited for Dean to come up to
the door.  Lucifer was lounging, wanting to get a closer look at the man who
had his littlest brother so tied up in knots.  The others were peeking over
stairwells and behind doors.  All of it made Castiel even more nervous.
“Could you all please not?” He begged.
“We are merely worried, Castiel,” Lucifer said softly, “We mean this… Dean, no
harm,”
“Meaning to and ending up doing it anyways are two completely separate things,”
“True,”
Finally a knock sounded at the door and Castiel rushed to get it, opening to
find a gorgeous sight before him.  Dean was wearing hip-hugging jeans that had
seen better days, but the rips showed tantalizing glimpses of tan and freckled
flesh.  A butter-soft leather jacket covered widening shoulders over a black
and nearly indecently tight shirt.  It all made Castiel feel over-dressed in
nice jeans and a button up, he’d even opted for a tie, though it was crooked
and in his worry had been pulled a bit loose.  Dean didn’t seem to mind though
as his kelly-green eyes appeared to undress him and devour what he saw all at
the same time.
Castiel licked his lips as he awkwardly waved Dean in, “Hi, uhm, you wanna come
in?”
“Nah, I have a night all planned out,” Dean chuckled, a hint of nerves in the
tone that helped sooth Castiel’s own, “You ready?”
“Yeah,” Castiel said quickly, stepping out and calling over his shoulder,
“Bye!”
“Have fun, Castiel, be back before too late,” Lucifer called out, eyes studying
Dean like mouse in a maze.
Castiel got into the car, and buckled up as Dean pulled out and onto the road
back towards town.  It was quiet, just the sound of the local classic rock
station playing softly in the background while they sat in companionable
silence.  Finally Castiel gathered up the courage to ask,
“So, just what are we doing tonight?”
“Oh, I figured we could catch a flick at the drive-in then go get dinner
somewhere,” Dean said, “I hear they’ve got that new slasher one, and there’s
this little dive near where I stay that has the best bacon cheeseburgers in
town,”
“Malonies?” Castiel asked.
“Yup!” Dean said with a laugh, “You like it too?”
“Oh yes, Father has the kitchen staff cook healthy food for us but I’m rather
fond of cheeseburgers,”
“Kitchen staff,” Dean whistled, “Wow, so you guys must be loaded huh?”
“Oh yes, Father’s always been rather wealthy,” Castiel said, smiling at the
thought of his loving if often absent father, “He’s not home much, but I’ve
never minded I have a lot of siblings so the house is always full and loud, and
even the staff are very nice,”
“Hmm,” Dean hummed, pulling into the drive-thru movie park and handing the cash
to the person, ignoring it when Castiel tried to pay, “Hey, I invited you,
remember? I pay,”
“Oh ok,” Castiel said, stuffing his wallet back in the back pocket of his
jeans.  They pulled forward and parked just as the previews started to come on
and they got the speaker all hooked up.  The car was very old, and instead of a
divide between the front two seats there was a third seat, and when, as the
movie began to get good, Dean put his arm up behind Cas, Castiel slid over so
that he was tucked under Dean’s arm as the Serial killer began his murder
spree.
Cas ended up cuddled into Deans side and hiding his face in his chest, inhaling
the musk and evergreen forest scent he was starting to associate with being
purely Dean.  They left after the credits, waiting for the traffic to die down
before leaving.  Cas stayed where he was though, and felt his heart beat a
staccato beat against his ribs the entire way to Melonie’s.
 
“H-hi, Jessica,” Sam stammered out as he opened the door and let his friend
through.
“Hi, Sam!” She replied brightly putting her purse down on one of the bed’s –
Sam’s thankfully – and began to make herself at home.  Grabbing the remote and
flicking on the TV, surfing through the channels while Sam sat down next to
her.  They chatted and only payed minimal attention to the drama unfolding on
the screen.  Unaware that they were getting closer and closer until she finally
bridged the gap and kissed Sam.
Surprised Sam pulled away stuttering, “Uh-uhm-ugh-oh”
“What?” Jessica asked, a little hurt, “Oh, you don’t like-”
“No! I do like you! I do! It’s just… you surprised me, is all,” Sam rushed to
say and then, exasperated at himself and desperate to fix it, kissed her again,
softly.
 
Dean smiled widely watching as Castiel devoured his third burger with vigor,
laughing at the squirt of ketchup that painted the side of his lips and without
thinking he leaned over and licked it off, causing Castiel to gasp giving Dean
the perfect opening to kiss him fully like he’d wanted to for what seemed like
an eternity of Sundays.  He used everything in his arsenal and when they parted
Castiel was breathless and his eyes fogged with desire, darkened and damn near
sinful. Dean threw enough money to cover the bill on the table and left,
pulling Castiel along with him to the car.
Castiel wasn’t surprised when he pushed him to the hood, kissing him senseless
once again before they rushed into the car and sped out of town.  Castiel
directing Dean to an old abandoned farm.  Dean hauled Cas across the seat the
moment the car was in park, pulling him into his lap and grinding their
erections together as he roughly bit and kissed those lips that had been
driving him crazy.
Dean ripped open Cas’ shirt and pulled the tie off roughly, uncaring of how it
would look when they were done as his lips and teeth trailed down the pale and
beautifully arched neck presented to him until it was just a mass of marks, his
marks, put on Cas were everyone could see.  A heady scent began to fill the
car, driving Dean out of his mind as Cas mewled and arched, fucking beggingfor
more.
But Dean didn’t have enough room to do what he wanted so he roughly opened the
door and practically carried Cas out of it until he was laid against the cool
hood of the car.  Dean continued his passage down, driving Cas more and more
out of control as his hips jerked, moving of their own volition.
Castiel nearly screamed when Dean mouthed his erection through the hard press
of his jeans.  He could feel slick leaking from his hole and down his thighs, a
clear sign of the genetic mutation found in his DNA.  Right now though Castiel
couldn’t think of that, all he could think of was getting more of Dean’s mouth
on his body, particularly his cock.
“Dean,” He gasped out in between frantic breaths, “Please,”
“Hmm? What is it Pretty Baby?” Dean’s voice was low and wrapped around Castiel
like melted dark chocolate, “What is it you want, I wonder,”
“Dean!” Castiel screamed, out of his mind at the feelings coursing through him,
“Please! Don’t tease, just… ahhhhhh!”
Dean had taken Castiel’s jeans in hand pulled down roughly, taking his boxers
with him and revealing his hot and angry cock which was topped with most
beautiful little drop of pearlescent pre-cum.  Dean dived right in, sucking
hard and burying his face until his nose brushed Cas’ pelvic bone, holding him
by those slim, made-for-fucking hips.  The sounds exploding from Cas’ mouth
were barely understandable, whimpers and sighs and screams all a perfect
symphony to Dean’s ears as he swirled his tongue from base to tip and back down
again, getting back up just in time to capture Cas’ cum on his tongue the
flavor surprisingly sweet if tart and undeniably Cas.
Dean’s hands wandered then to Cas’ ass and found the leaking wetness there
causing his cock to throb.
Yesssss.
Dean popped off of Cas’ cock with an obscene sound then stood up, kissing the
still panting youth who’s erection had yet to go down.  Castiel wrapped his
arms around Dean, still whimpering and desperate, hooking a leg around Dean’s
so he could thrust against the still fully clothed boy as his hands made quick
work of shoving his jacket off so he could strip off his shirt.
Dean’s hands went back to Cas’ ass, helping the smaller boy grind against him,
leaving a damp spot on his thigh.
“Mmm,” Dean whispered into Castiel ear, purposefully dropping an octave and
giving his words a slight drawl, “What do you want?”
“F-fuck me, pleeeease Dean,” Castiel managed to beg, trying his best not to let
the fires rushing through every capillary in his body completely consume him. 
Dean growled and spun him around and forced his head down to the car, pulling
his legs apart to watch, mesmerized, as a drop of slick made its way down Cas’
inner thigh.
“Damn Cas, You’re so fucking pretty like this, hole leaking and clenching. 
Just begging to be filled and pounded like a little whore, aren’t you?”  Dean
said, grinding his jeans into Cas’ ass as he unbuckled them, peeling the too
tight material apart enough to release his straining erection.  He held Cas
down with one hand in the middle of his back as the other sought out that sweet
pink hole and thrust in roughly, quickly adding another and another until Cas
was just a screaming mess around him, all begs and pleas.  Dean managed to zero
in on his gland as he leaned over and whispered, “Fuck man, I don’t know if
three’s gonna be enough to stretch you out, you’re so tight and baby I’m not
small,”
“Just forget about prepairing me and FUCK ME ALREADY!” Castiel ended in a
scream as Dean pushed the head of his erection past that first muscle and
didn’t stop until he was buried balls deep in Cas’ wet tight hole.  He stilled
for a moment, giving Cas a chance to adjust before pulling out and slamming
back in savagely.  He kept one hand on Cas’ back and used the other on his hip,
holding him so hard that there were bound to be bruises on the fair skin the
next morning.
Cas was rendered speechless, thankful that Dean had given him a moment.  Cas
had by no means been a virgin, but since pickings were slim in his tiny town,
and the people there were not nearly as well endowed as Dean had proven to be,
felt like he was being torn in two but the burn only served to heighten his
pleasure.  Soon he was cumming again, tightening so much that Dean came just a
moment later, panting as he leaned against Castiel’s back while their hearts
returned to normal.  Cas could feel the flood of Dean’s come mixing with his
slick in his passageway and realized that they’d forgotten one very important
thing.
Apparently Dean realized it too.
“Fuck,”
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Notes
     Please excuse both the tardiness and shortness of this chapter,
     sometimes I'll write one chapter five times before it's decent to
     post so... yeah.
                          02. Revelations and Tragedy
Castiel and Dean did their best not to worry too awful much, the rate of
Carriers who managed to get pregnant their first time was damn near zero, and
they took multiple precautions from there on out.  So when a month passed and
there were no symptoms the pretty much figured they were out of the ball park. 
Dean’s father had called apologizing for the hunt taking so long and said he
was on his way to get them, which beyond worried Castiel from what Dean had
told him of his father.
“Don’t worry, Pretty Baby,” Dean said one night, kissing his hair as they
lounged in the motel, taking advantage of Sam spending the night with Jessica
at the local astronomy museum for some meteor shower show, “I’ll explain
everything when he gets here, I’m not leaving you behind,”
Castiel couldn’t find the words to express how he was feeling, so he drew Dean
down for a hunger-filled kiss, hoping that would say what he needed to.
 
John Winchester groaned as he pulled his battered body out of the Impala
slowly, ready to grab Dean and Sam from the Motel and get back to Bobby’s. 
This stupid hunt had taken far longer than he’s expected which was going to
make Sam impossible to deal with for at least a week.  Heck after so long even
Dean would be a tad attached to this place.  Shaking his head he opened the
room door and flicked the lights on, smiling at the mass under the blankets,
assuming that Sam had crawled into bed with Dean like he did when he was little
as it still happened on rare occasions.
Pulling back the covers though proved to be very different.
“What the hell is going on here? Dean!” John pulled Dean and the other male
from the bed and roughly shoved them to the floor.
Dean stuttered, stand up and holding up his hands and coming to stand between
his father and boyfriend, “Dad, listen,”
“Where the fuck is Sammy? You know, the brother you’re supposed to be
watching?”
“He’s out with a friend, he’s armed, he’ll be just fine for the night,” Dean
said.
“And you,” John pointed to Castiel, who’s heart was nearly beating out of his
chest, “Get the hell away from me and my boy you fag, I ever see you again and
I’ll kill ya,”
Castiel just looked up at Dean as he climbed to shaky feet.  Dean mouthed,
“I’ll call you,”
And poor Castiel.
He believed him then, and he never could give up hope.
***** Chapter 4 *****
         03. Let Your Past Be the Sound of Your Feet Upon The Ground.
A week went by with no word from Dean, and Castiel was beginning to get sick. 
He prayed it was just with worry, but then a month was gone and he was puking
several times a day.  Even his siblings began to realize that Castiel was only
getting worse, he couldn’t keep anything down, he was crying all the time and
recently his lower abdomen had become sore and had developed a pouch, like he’d
been eating too much. 
“Castiel,” Anna gently said, coming into Castiel’s bathroom where he was
resting against the floor, the smell of acid lingering in the air seemed almost
permanent at this point, “Castiel we’re worried, I know you’re upset about
Dean-”
Tear’s sprung to Castiel’s eyes at just the sound of his lover’s name.
“- but you need to see the doctor,” Anna finished, kneeling before her brother
and petting his out of control hair, sending him as many good vibes as she
could, “Michael and Lucifer agree,”
“What’s the point?!” Castiel sat up roughly, shoving her back, “One love,
that’s the fucking Novak-Milton legacy, we fall helplessly in love with the
first person to love us back and never love another… All of you encouraged me
in this, said to take it and hold onto it… that it would be true, like you and
Jo, and now he’s gone and it’s obvious that he’s never coming back so why-”
“Do you think we’re dumb?” Anna screamed, tears streaming down her face at the
agony on her brother’s face, “Castiel you admitted to sleeping with him. 
You’re pregnant, or you’re seriously ill, either way you need to see the
doctor.  Now do you go on your own or do we force you?”
 
Jo stood outside Castiel’s bathroom with all her step-siblings, young and her
age, as her wife talked with Cassi.  Finally he seemed to understand and
Michael and Jo shared a look of relief.  Castiel came out allowing Anna to
guide him with hands on his shoulders.  Jo blew a kiss at her wife who just
gave her a sad smile, tears still glittering in the backs of her eyes.
“Come along, Castiel,” Lucifer and Michael said, taking Castiel from Anna,
letting her go to Jo.  The ride to the doctor’s was uneventful, mostly just
Lucifer and Michael trying to engage Castiel with little luck, but at one point
Michael swore and Lucifer’s slightly reckless driving and Castiel grinned, even
laughed just a hint, his hand wandering to his stomach before Castiel stared
out the window the rest of the way.
 
“Will he be alright?” Jo asked later that night after Castiel came back with
the news that he was in fact, pregnant.  Anna had thus been with him all day,
reassuring him that the world hadn’t ended, even if it felt like it.
“I’m not sure… in the history of our family, since the two lines merged, this
has never happened,” Anna sat down on their bed, watching Jo undress with
worried eyes.
“Not once, hasn’t the line been Novak-Milton for centuries though?”
“Yes, that’s what’s worrying,” Anna said, walking up to Jo and into her arms,
laying her head down on her breast and letting the familiar sound of Jo’s
heartbeat reassure her, “I can’t find anything in the family archives, and
father’s been so hard to get ahold of lately,”
“It’ll all be alright, I’m sure,” Jo said with a wicked grin as she swept a
startled Anna up off her feet and threw her to the bed, “In the meantime…”
 
A few months later Castiel woke to a sharp jab against his bladder.  As usual.
“Oh, you guys just can’t give Mommy a break can you?” Castiel groaned but
smiled, going to his feet and rubbing his back.  There was still a big gaping
hole in his chest and life, but by focusing on going forward, he might just be
alright.  He had other people to think about after all.  It wasn’t what he’d
pictured for his life months ago when he’d met Dean Winchester, but if it was
the best he would ever have… Castiel was content.
***** Chapter 5 *****
                             04. Five Years Later
Dean’s hands shook as he drove into the town he never could forget.  Sam dozed
next to him, college work book open on his lap and a high lighter hanging
loosely from his teeth. By rather vague memories he drove through the town,
passing the old high school that had since been closed and condemned, and
finally found the only motel in town.  He hadn’t been back in five years, to
the date, since his father had pulled him from town literally kicking and
screaming.  Dean felt nauseated as he pulled into the motel parking lot, unsure
if he was doing the right thing, or if he should just leave well enough alone.
“We here?” Sam yawned out as he woke up, the highlighter falling to make a
bright yellow mark on the page below.
“Yeah, we’re here,” No turning back now.
 
“Aziraphel!” Castiel yelled up the stairwell of the once small diner that he’d
turned into a bookshop.  His daughter bounded down the stairs, sleek back hair
flowing behind her as she jumped into her mother’s arms.  The smile on her face
reminding Castiel of his brother Gabriel after he played a trick on one of the
younger siblings.  The analogy gave him enough time to sigh before he heard his
son scream at the top of his lungs before Aniel ran down the stairs, a book
clutched to his chest as he wrapped himself around Castiel’s legs.
“Aziraphel, what have I told you about upsetting your brother?” Castiel said
putting her down so he could calm down a terrified Aniel.
“That it was mean,” She huffed out, rolling her grass-green eyes, “But all I
did was show him the spiders,”
“The spiders, momma!” Aniel cried, burying his face in Castiel’s neck.
“Shhh, it’s alright sweety,” Castiel shushed him, giving Aziraphel a stern look
and pointing to the corner, “Corner. Now. Ten minutes,”
“But Mom-”
“Now what has my favorite niece done to deserve such a harsh punishment,”
Gabriel laughed from behind Castiel, who was doing his best not to give into
the urge to seriously harm his elder brother.
“Gabby!” Aziraphel cried out running to him and laughing as he picked her up
and swung her around, “I just showed Aniel the spiders that have been building
a web in my half of the room,”
“Spiders, huh?” Gabriel said in return, “Neat,”
“Gabriel,” Castiel said warningly.
“Ok, kiddo, better go serve your time before mommy decides to feed me to the
spiders,”
Aziraphel skipped off to the corner and stood there humming as Castiel put
Aniel down, “How about you go look through our new shipment and see if there’s
anything you’d like?”
Aniel wiped the tears from his face and nodded, seemingly always knotted blond
hair flopping in his face, “Ok Mommy,”
“That is one weird kid you got, brother,” Gabriel teased, giving Castiel a hug.
“He’s not weird,” Castiel replied, “He merely enjoys reading instead of
pranking,”
“Like I said, Weirrrrd,”
 
“What are we doing here Dean? I mean honestly,” Sam said after settling his
things away and sitting on the bed, “I know this town, there’s no college
anywhere near for me to visit,”
“I…” Dean stopped at Sam’s face, “I just wanna find out what happened. After we
left, you know?”
“What’s it even matter, we were only here for a little while,” Sam argued, not
wanting to think of that night, or the friends lost.
“It matters, Ok Sammy?” Dean snapped out, shoving a drawer close, “Now, you get
with the studying, I’ll be back in a bit,”
The town really hadn’t changed all that much, there was a new bookshop where
that diner that he’d been to that first wonderful night with Castiel.  Caught
off guard with the thought he found his feet leading him in the shop, only
realizing it when the door opening sounded a bell and he stepped in, staring
around at all the book before looking down at…
Children?
 
“Hello, Sir,” Aziraphel said with a large grin, “We’re not open… The sign even
says so,”
Aniel just nodded, pointing to the door before scooting behind his sister.
“Oh,” Dean said, just staring.  Something was off here, but he couldn’t place
it, in the meantime he probably shouldn’t hang around, “Alright, I’ll just,
come back when it’s open then,”
“Sounds good, Sir,” Aziraphel laughed, pushing open the door as Dean walked
out.
Dean stood on the sidewalk for a moment before moving on, shaking his head and
muttering, “Weird,”
 
“Who was that?” Castiel said, coming down the stairs with Gabriel in tow.
“Just a man, he said he’d come back when we were open Momma,” Aniel said,
sticking his thumb in his mouth before smiling, “Maybe he’ll buy some books,”
“Maybe,” Castiel said, “How about going to go see Aunty Anna and Jo?”
“Yay!”
 
Dean didn’t find out anything the whole day and as he walked back to the Motel
he wanted to cry.  Something that hadn’t happened in years.  The streets were
dark and lifeless, most of the street lights had stopped working and he found
himself caressing the gun resting between the back of his jeans and his lower
back.  A light flickered on ahead of him and he saw a hand flip the sign of the
shop he’d been in earlier.  Remembering the eerie children he straightened up
and entered.  Sam was dying for a new book anyways.
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
                  05. God is gone, now who’ll take his sins?
Castiel had just finished putting the new books on the shelves when the bell
over the door let out its melodic tinkling.  He smiled and went to see who it
was, calling out, “Coming!”
Whatever he’d been suspecting though, it wasn’t what he saw.  Castiel had to
blink for a few moments, frozen at the sight of a man he’d though long gone
ages ago as tears welled up, unwelcome and unwanted in his eyes.  His throat
went dry, a lump forming and his heart seemed to beat a stacotto drum line in
his chest.
Dean Winchester.
There was no denying that it was him, that profile was one that still haunted
Castiel’s dreams at night and even during the day when Aziraphel tilted her
head just so, or when Aniel rolled his eyes.  Eternity seemed to tick by in
what Castiel knew was just a few seconds until Dean turned his head and stilled
as well, green eyes going wide and mouth forming an ‘O’.
“Cas?”
“Hello Dean,” Castiel wasn’t sure how he managed to get that out without
stammering, or fainting.
“Cas,” Dean smiled, “I… Hi,”
“What are you doing here Dean?”
At least Dean had the decency to blush; looking around the shop as he tried to
put into words what had drove him from Souix Falls with his little brother,
chasing a personal demon that had led him here to the angel of his dreams, “I,
well, I had to know,”
“Know what,” Castiel said, startled by the venom in his disbelieving voice,
“What happened to me after you left? Promising to call but I never heard one
word… not one, and now you just show up four years later?”
“Cas-”
“Don’t call me that! My name is Castiel!” Castiel ended up screaming at the
end, tears falling like crystals from his eyes, “You lost the right to call me
that,”
“Cas- Castiel,” Dean tried to walk towards him, torn and horrified, but mostly
disgusted at himself, “Please let me explain,”
“Save it, Dean, I don’t want to hear your excuses,” Castiel grabbed the closest
bookcase, “Please just leave,”
“I’m not gonna do that Cas,” Dean said, his own tears starting to gather at the
sight of Cas, looking so broken, so lost, all because of him.
Castiel let out a self-disparaging laugh, “No, of course not,”
“He threatened to take Sam, Cas, If I ever tried to contact you again,” Dean
managed to get out over the otherwise silent tears streaking down his cheeks.
“I was pregnant,” Castiel yelled, “You left me, pregnant, without a word, Dean!
Fuck you!”
Dean got so still, not even daring to breathe, fairly sure even his heart had
stopped, “What?”
“I was pregnant, Dean,” Castiel said, haunted blue eyes meeting Dean’s, “I had
to go through that, alone, without you,”
“Cas… I’m so sorry,” Dean suddenly moved going to wrap his arms around Cas,
putting his head on top of Cas’ and inhaling that fresh-rain and cut-grass
scent that was uniquely Cas’, the one that he had never stopped thinking about.
“Sorry doesn’t change the past, Dean,” Castiel said, pulling away, “Nothing
can,”
“Then let me… Damn it Cas,” Dean ran a hand through his hair, looking around
the small shop as he tried desperately to gather his wits, “I never meant for
any of this to happen… I didn’t know he’d react that way, and I couldn’t leave
Sammy, I tried to call you but he found me… Knowing what he was capable of… I
couldn’t risk something happening to Sammy,”
“I understand Dean,” Castiel said slowly, closing his eyes at the knowledge
that the boy he’d given his heart and soul to hadn’t felt the same.
“I never stopped thinking of you though, now Sammy’s gonna go to college… My
dad was … he died, so I figured it was safe to come back,” Dean back away, the
knowledge of just what he’d done to such a sweet person weighing heavily on his
heart, “I… If you really want me to leave I will, whatever you want Cas, but… I
know I can’t make it right but I’d really like it if you’d at least let me
try,”
“How?”
“I don’t know, but Cas, I want to try… I… I missed you,” Dean breathed deep,
closing his eyes, “I loved you and… I never really stopped, but I couldn’t risk
Sam, couldn’t risk that he’d come take it out on YOU,”
Castiel sobbed at that, putting a hand to his heart, unsure how he could still
feel so much pain.  He just nodded, letting Dean wrap him in his arms again as
they cried together.  For the years, the pain, everything.
 
Sam had gotten bored in the Motel and opted to going out for dinner, landing
himself at some family owned pizzeria.  He smiled at the hostess as she sat him
down at a booth, they were busy so he settled in for a wait for the waitress,
surprised to hear a familiar voice squeal.
“I don’t believe this! Sam?” It was the waitress, with blonde hair and freckles
and pale yellow eyes.
“Jessica?” Sam said, his face splitting into a wide smile as he got up to hug
her.
“It is you! Oh my god, what happened, your dad came one day and you guys just
left!”
“Yeah, it uh, it’s complicated,” Sam said.
Someone yelled and Jessica looked behind her, “I gotta get back to work, but I
get off in an hour, wait for me?”
“Absolutely,”
 
“So what’s his… or her’s name?” Dean asked after they settled down upstairs
where Cas and the kids lived, at the small dinner table.  He was nervously
peeling the label off a beer while Cas puttered about making himself a cup of
tea.
“Both, actually,” Castiel said, a fond smile overtaking his face, “A girl and a
boy. Twins.”
“Oh, so what’s their names?”
“Aziraphel and Aniel,” Castiel said as he sat down just as a tinkling echoed up
from downstairs, “Speak of the devils,”
“Wait, they’re here?” Dean paniced, it was one thing to find out you were a
dad, another to suddenly have to face it, “Now?”
“Better sooner than later,” Castiel shrugged, a part of him dreading this while
another part of him gloried in the fact that he’d get to introduce his children
to their father, someone they’d always asked about.
At first Castiel had just said that he was away, but as they were growing they
started asking where, and when he was coming back.  Despite his own problems
with Dean, Castiel wouldn’t poison them against him and had simply said that
he’d had to leave and that he loved them very much and doubtlessly wanted to be
there with them, but he couldn’t.
“Castiel?” Anna called out as they came up the stairs, “You left the shop-” She
stopped as she came into the room, a sleepy Aniel in her arms with Aziraphel
clinging to her legs.
“Hey Anna,” Castiel got up and took Aniel, who was suddenly very interested in
what had the adults all riled up, “Thanks, I’ll call you later ok?”
“Alright, but Cassi, Michael and Lucifer aren’t going to like this,”
“I don’t care what Michael and Lucifer like or don’t like, he has a right to
know them and be in their lives,”
“Ok, I’ll talk to you later, Jo’s in the car waiting,”
Once Anna left Aziraphel went up to Dean and stared at him while Aniel
remarked, “Mommy, it’s the man from earlier, what’s he doing here?”
“Well,” Castiel said bringing him over and putting him down next to his sister,
“Remember how I said Daddy had to leave us, but he didn’t want to?”
“Yes?”
“Well, he doesn’t have to be gone anymore, and he’s come back,”
“Does that mean…?” Aziraphel asked, unusually reserved.
“Yes,” Dean managed to get out, going to his knee’s in front of them and trying
to keep his tears at bay, “Hi sweety,”
“Daddy!” Aniel cried out wrapping his arms around Dean, burying his face in his
neck, “You’re really here!”
Aziraphel just kinda looked at Dean before slowly holding her arms out. Dean
grabbed her to and hid his face in their hair as he just cried and held them
tightly.
 
“Hey, you ready?” Jessica asked, coming out of the restaurant an hour later.
“Yeah, what do you want to do?” Sam asked, looking down at his friend.
“We could go to the old school, it’s super scary and some kids say it’s even
haunted,” She laughed, “Or we could just walk around and talk, find out whats
been going on, other than your obvious growth spurt,”
Sam blushed and kicked the ground, “Oh yeah uh… it just sorta… happened,”
Jessica laughed again and wrapped her arm through his as they started to walk;
they talked and talked as they walked through town, ending up back at Sam’s
motel.  Sam didn’t remember the last time he laughed so hard, not since leaving
four years prior.
“You wanna, uh, come in?” Sam gestered to the door, his mouth strangly dry as
he waited for her to answer.
“You know what, I’d love to, but it’s late and I have work again in the
morning,”
“Oh, right, yeah I totally get th-” Sam was abruptly shut up by Jessica leaning
up and kissing him straight on the mouth.  They parted breathlessly a few
minutes later, “See ya, Winchester, don’t disappear this time, yeah?”
Sam just watched her walk away for a moment before calling out, “I won’t!”
 
An hour later and Dean helped Cas tuck the twins into bed, surprised when Aniel
didn’t want to let go.
“Come on, Ani, it’s past you two’s bed time,” Cas said.
“Will you be here when I wake up?” Aniel just asked Dean, Aziraphel looked
over, interested in the answer as well.
“I… uh…” Dean looked frantically to Cas for help.  Cas just smiled and nodded.
“Yeah, I’ll be here,”
Aniel smiled, laying back into his bed as his mom and dad tucked him in before
turning the light out and headed back into the living area.  Dean collapsed on
the couch, and Castiel sat besides him.
“You’re good with them,” Castiel whispered.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Dean countered, wiping his face with his hands.
“You’re loving them, and I’ve found that… most of the time that’s all they
need,” Castiel said standing up again, “They normally get up around 9 in the
morning, if you are going to be here when they wake up… or you could just crash
here on the couch tonight,”
“Yeah, uhm…” Dean looked at Cas’ strangely hopeful eyes, “I’ll stay here, just
let me call Sam to tell him,”
“Ok, I’ll get you a blanket and a pillow,”
“Cas,” Dean called out, “Thank you, for letting me… in, again,”
“Just don’t do that to me again,” Cas said slowly, after a minute, “Please,”
“Never,” Dean said, going to him and hugging him before laying a gentle and
chaste kiss on his lips.
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you guys for all the awesome comments! They really make my day
     to know how you guys feel about how i'm writing. I'm going to try and
     be better about updating but my laptop is currently broken at the
     moment so i'm rather limited as to my computer time right now, but I
     do promise at least one a week!
***** Karma *****
Cas' couch sucked.  Coming from someone who grew up on shitty motel beds and
cabin floors with just his clothes to soften the feel, that was saying
something.  Dean felt, more than saw, the three pairs of curious eyes following
his trek to the restroom as he groaned rubbing his back.  Back in the kitchen
Aniel passed another egg to Castiel as Aziraphel made a mess whipping the
omelet mixture.  Watching it for a moment brought tears to Dean's eyes,
wondering just how much he'd missed that he'd never get back again.  Dean
understood Sam's bitching from all those years, for normal, for white-picket
fences and apple pie, no monsters to chase just a man to woo again and children
to get to know.  He could do this.
Right?
Aniel turned around and gestered for Dean to join them, laughing when he did -
picking Aniel up along the way and wrapping an arm around Cas and 'Zira.
 They'd just gotten everything on the table and had sat down when the door
downstairs started banging.  Voices called through the wood and made Castiel
freeze, breakfast forgotten.
"Castiel Milton-Novak! Open up now!" Michael called out quickly followed by
Lucifer.
"Or send Him out.  Either shall work!"
"Momma?" Aniel asked slightly frightened, he'd never heard any of his uncles
this enraged, even when Gabriel dyed Zachariahs hair bright green.
"You guys stay here," Dean said, standing up, "Nothing I can't handle,"
"Dean-" Castiel started, blocking Dean at the stair door.
"Cas," Dean replied, cutting him off, "No offence but if someone had put Sammy
in this position, then just popped back five years later i'd be plenty pissed
off too.  Better we get this done and over with,"
"Two - or more, god only knows how many of my brothers and sisters are down
there - against one though?" Cas snapped back, following Dean down the stairs,
"I don't think so, not in front of my shop and certainly not infront of my...
our, kids,"
"You know you're kinda hot when you get all angry," Turning around suddenly
Dean put his arms around Cas and backed him into the wall at the foot of the
stairs, "Actually, make that really hot,"
"Dean Winchester-"
"Cas, no offence, but i've dealt with bigger baddies than your brothers,
alright?"
"So? And what bigger baddies?"
Dean nearly groaned but managed to keep it back, "Cas, I swear, i'll tell you
everything. Just not now, okay?"
Another round of blows hit the door of the shop and Castiel rolled his eyes,
shaking his head as he headed back up the stairs, "Fine, but take it out back
and when you get your ass handed to you, I did try to warn you,"
Dean squared his shoulders before opening the door and getting a sound right
hook into his throat.
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