Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11506248.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Gotham_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Harvey_Bullock/Jim_Gordon
  Character:
      Harvey_Bullock, Jim_Gordon
  Additional Tags:
      Underage_Kissing, Homophobic_Language, Adult_Content, Explicit_Language,
      Alcohol_Abuse/Alcoholism, Child_Neglect
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-07-15 Words: 17009
****** The Wellington House ******
by deawrites
Summary
     Jim is 14, Harvey is 19 and best friends. All they want is a place to
     hang out alone.
Notes
     All mistakes are my own but please feel free to point any out so I
     may fix them.
     All comments, suggestions, kudos and criticisms welcome.
     As always to my wife who puts up with being my sounding board for
     Gotham (a fandom she doesn't like) and Supernatural (a fandom she
     LOVES) fan fiction.
 
The Wellington House
 
year 2017
Gotham City, Illinois: population 1,367
 
“Careful! You’re gonna break the glass.”
 
“I’m bein’ careful alright? This isn’t rocket science, but it requires some
finesse.”
 
“Finesse with the use of a crow bar? Harvey, please be careful. If you break
the glass the alarm- “
 
“For crying out loud Jim, I’m not gonna break the fucking glass!”
 
The crowbar slipped in Harvey’s hand and the sound of shattering glass filled
the early night. In the distance a dog barked, as the two friends exchanged
smug and sheepish glances accordingly. Fortunately, there was no alarm
installed to trip. They both took several seconds to listen and when the night
remained quiet Harvey reached in and unlatched the window. He slowly yanked the
frame up and open, tossing the crowbar in first before climbing through after
it.
 
“Well that was fun.” He stated sardonically glass crunching beneath his boots.
He reached out of the window to help pull Jim through.
 
“I don’t need your help. I- “
 
“Just shuddup and get in here.” Harvey mused tugging his best friend through
the open window. Once Jim was inside Harvey closed the window and nodded in
approval. “Not too shabby.” He declared of the empty, carpeted room.  “This is
much better than the last place.”
 
Jim grunted and rested his hands upon his hips, not committing as he looked
around. “Of course, the last place was missing seventy-five percent of the roof
and ravaged by the elements.”
 
“So picky.” Harvey teased. At five feet eleven inches tall, he was tall but not
overly so. He was broad shouldered, solid build and had flaming red hair, pale
skin, freckles and the confidence of a steamroller. He had a rugged handsome
quality about him but could easily fade into averageness if he so felt the
desire. The nineteen-year-old wasn’t one to be trifled with, but at the same
time he wasn’t one to torture the innocent. Unless of course it was metaphoric
torture of his best friend Jim Gordon, then anything went just to get the
laugh, or groan of displeasure.
 
In comparison Jim was fourteen-years-old, blond, blue eyed with a compact
build. He was a natural leader who didn’t trust anyone but Harvey and his
parents in his inner circle. He had movie star attractiveness and didn’t need
Harvey’s brash ways to get noticed. He was a stickler for rules, codes and the
wholesome way of living that set Harvey’s teeth on edge. If Harvey had
accomplished one thing it was deciding to dedicate himself to Jim for the rest
of their lives to teach the younger teen how to be a little more morally
flexible.  Life wasn’t about ‘by the book’ but chaos and unpredictability.
 
Together they complimented one another in intellect, personality and
appearance. Jim was studious and college bound, while Harvey was passing and
had few plans past graduation, most likely a trade school. Harvey was tall
while Jim was shorter, yet together they made an imposing pair. While Harvey
was emotional yet easy going, Jim was stoic and quick to anger. Where Jim was
an only child Harvey came from a family where he had eight other siblings. When
Jim was on time, Harvey was late. Where Jim was headstrong and reckless Harvey
was cautious and restrained. Not truly opposites but not exact clones either,
the two had become friends as young children and been together ever since. They
were best friends, brothers, and most of all partners in crime.
 
Finding an abandoned house on the outskirts of Wellington; the large city just
miles from Gotham; had been easy. The two needed a place to retreat too when
they needed to be alone, or entertain a few guests that wouldn’t attract
parental or law enforcement interference. There were other houses that were
designated party zones, but the two teens wanted a ‘fortress of solitude’ like
in the Superman comic books Harvey used to read, and Jim currently did. Jim
readily agreed and the search began and finally lead them to the two-story
house in a tract neighborhood made up of other abandoned houses. Economic times
becoming what they were so many people in more rural areas were losing their
homes. People in the major cities were now homeless and the situation was only
worsening.
 
However, Harvey and Jim were not considering such things as they moved through
the house, checking each bedroom; there were three; before heading down stairs
to the main living space.  Harvey went first, forever protective of Jim; but he
had to push him back at the top of the stairs to do so. Jim snorted and turned
on a flashlight, handed it to Harvey and pulled a second one for himself out of
his back pack. Harvey smiled his gratitude and crow bar in one hand, flashlight
in the other he led the way. The stairs creaked beneath their feet but held as
the house wasn’t in disrepair like so many others they had seen over the course
of the day.
 
“Not bad.” Harvey reiterated nodding and shining the flashlight in the
direction of the kitchen. “Wonder if the water still works.”
 
“Doubt it.” Jim surmised moving into the living room and walking its perimeter.
“Ever wonder who lived here before?”
 
“Na.” Harvey mused from the kitchen. His voice sounded loud in the confines of
the house even though he was only speaking and not shouting. “Too many sad
stories around already. Don’t need to make up anymore.”
 
“I suppose.” Jim joined him in the kitchen, and shined the flashlight in his
face long enough for the nineteen-year-old to shy away from the light in his
eyes and flip Jim the bird.  “Not sorry.”
 
“I know you’re not, ass.” Harvey hissed and mimed throwing his flashlight at
Jim’s head. “We could bring in a cooler; set some ice up in it. A few beers.
Get some snacks. This might not be such a bad place.”
 
“During the day when the sun is out.” Jim mused pulling his lips into his mouth
and opening the refrigerator. A hideous smell burst into the atmosphere causing
both teens to gag.
 
“Holy fuck!” Harvey cursed slamming the door closed and glaring at Jim. “What
the hell you do that for? Trying to kill us? No power equals spoiled food Jim!
Fucking hell!”
 
“Sorry. I just wanted to see if there was anything inside.”
 
“Well now you know.” Harvey gagged at little and shoved Jim back at one
shoulder. “Next time, don’t; okay?”
 
“Fine. I’m sorry.” Jim moved away from the fridge and walked out of the kitchen
altogether. Harvey followed him not interested in remaining behind with the
rancid scent. “If we wanted to come here at night, a small generator would do
the trick. We could hook up some of those string lights.”
 
“Or those battery candles.” Harvey offered. Jim’s brow furrowed as he looked at
him over his shoulder. “What? My sisters love those things.”
 
“You’re sisters. Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.”
 
“Shut up.” Harvey groused.
 
Jim pointed at the far wall. “They have a fireplace. Not that I trust us to use
it without burning the neighborhood down.” He smiled at Harvey. “I think our
cooler will fit inside of it.”
 
“You mean we have a fireplace.” Harvey corrected moving to it to stick his head
inside and shine the flashlight up towards the flue. “I dunno Jim; come winter
time this might be a pretty sweet thing to have.” He looked over his shoulder
at Jim and grinned. “Bring a couple of girls in, have ourselves some romantic
moments.” He waggled his eyebrows and Jim blushed.
 
“Like that’s going to happen.”
 
“You don’t know. It might.” Harvey climbed out of the fireplace and stood,
placing a hand upon the mantel. “Put a couple of your soccer trophies up here
for conversation pieces. A couple of my old football ones.”
 
“Those trophies don’t impress girls Harvey. They’re designed for our egos not
anyone else’s.”
 
Harvey shook his head. “Ye of little faith Jim. I forgot, you’re barely into
puberty. Just wait little grasshopper. You’ll learn.”
 
“Like you’re trying to teach me anything useful.”
 
Harvey gasped offended. “Hey! I’m giving you the benefit of my wisdom. May I
remind you that of the two of us, I am not a virgin?”  Jim looked away.  “So,
yeah; keep a lid on it Junior. Big Brother Harvey is taking you to church!”
 
Jim wiped a hand over his face before staring silently at his best friend. “Are
you done?”
 
Harvey shrugged. “Are you?”  Jim sighed, and Harvey laughed. He moved forward
and placed a hand upon Jim’s shoulder. “Relax Jim. God you’re so uptight.” He
patted his opposite hand gently against Jim’s cheek. “I’ve got your back in all
things, so just chill. You’ll enjoy life more.”
“I’m enjoying life just fine.” Jim half groused, half teased as he ducked out
from beneath Harvey’s hand upon his shoulder and swatted the other off his
face. “I just think we should finish scoping out the rest of the house before
we make a decision.”
 
Harvey shrugged. “All right, but I don’t see the point as you’ve already made
up your mind. You like it here and so do I. Problem solved, let’s get back to
Gotham before your mom knows you’re gone.”
 
Jim frowned not wanting to leave just yet but knowing that Harvey was right. He
took a breath and wishfully looked around the room.  “I still think we should
check the other rooms but, we’ll leave.”
 
“That’s my little JImboy.” Harvey gushed reaching out and grabbing Jim’s face
and placing a loud kiss upon a cheek before letting him go. “To be honest I
thought you were gonna fight me.” Harvey grinned at Jim and turned in the
direction of the stairs.  “C’m on, if we hurry back we can get some grub before
I have to take you home.”
 
Jim grunted, musing that was alright by his estimation and the two ascended the
stairs so that they could exit the house unnoticed. Sometimes police or the
homeless scoured neighborhoods on patrol or for potential shelter. It was
becoming more and more an issue in the larger cities like Wellington.  So many
families had been hit hard by the recession, jobs lost, welfare, health care
and other support programs ceased, that just surviving was becoming the status
quo. There was the occasional riot or robbery at a supermarket chain or
pharmacy, yet before long it was clear that such attacks would become common
place as people suffered more and more in the world of ‘have nots’. The
disparity between the rich and poor was vast and growing quarterly, yet for
Harvey and Jim such thoughts were not discussed too often as they were young
and believed opportunities would be provided for them when required.
 
Harvey descended the roof first to the ground and awaited Jim to join him, ever
watchful that his younger friend come down safely. Once reunited they headed
around the dwelling to Harvey’s ancient Chevy truck to drive back to Gotham.
 It took a couple of tries for the engine to turn over but it wasn’t anything
the pair weren’t accustomed too. They drove the first mile or so in silence and
then Jim looked at Harvey’s profile.
 
“You know I appreciate this right?”  Harvey’s expression shifted a little but
he continued to stare at the road. “Taking me all the way to Wellington,
because of we can’t be alone at home.”
 
Deflecting away from Jim’s upset Harvey chuckled, crooked smile breaking upon
his lips. “You think I’m doin’ all this for you, Jim? You’re delusional. I need
a place to take the ladies pure and simple. Fact that you’ll be there sometimes
is just convenience. You can run to the store for condoms and beer when I run
out.”
 
Due to the ludicrousness of Harvey’s comment; a fourteen-year-old able to
purchase alcohol; Jim laughed. The sound was genuine and Harvey had to glance
away from the road and drink the sight in. Jim was one serious teenager and it
was rare for him to be lighthearted and laugh like this normally.  When he was
with Harvey however, he could spontaneously indulge in happier feelings.
 
“Sure. Just let me get my fake i.d.” Jim rolled his eyes. “Seriously though,
Harvey; thank you.”
 
Harvey shrugged and turned his eyes back to the road. “S’nothing.” He reached
out with his right hand and placed it on Jim’s leg squeezing it slightly. 
“You’d do the same for me anytime.” Jim nodded that he would and Harvey
retracted his hand. “But we have to have some ground rules; no going there
without me, and no huge parties. The last thing we want is to draw attention to
ourselves.”
 
“Agreed.” Jim said readily and then added, “I have a couple of rules of my own.
First, clean up after yourself and your guests. Keep the music down and don’t
check on me if I have company.  How am I supposed to get to do more than just
kiss if you’re barging in every twelve seconds? Roberta Gustophsen still hasn’t
stopped trying to hit me every time she sees me because of you.”
 
“Roberta?” Laughed Harvey. “C’mon Jim. You can do better than her, and yeah.
Okay. I agree to your list of demands.” He shrugged. “We’ll work it out. Find
you a Wellington Girl to get to know in the biblical sense.”
 
Jim blushed and looked out the passenger window. “I’d settle just for a copped
feel over the bra.” Jim grumbled to the glass frowning. That was the only
problem with having a much older friend he decided; their experience levels
were so vastly different because they were able to do things that Jim could
not; yet.
 
“Stop mumbling and look at me.” Jim did as he was bid. “You’ll have a
girlfriend before you know it. Okay? And then sex’ll happen when you’re both
ready. That’s just how it goes. Guys are always gonna be ready before the
girl.”
 
“It’s not the girl I’m worried about.” Jim admitted abruptly and then wished he
had kept his outburst to himself. He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and
waited for Harvey to look at him.
 
Instead, Harvey pulled the truck over onto the shoulder of the single lane
access road and killed the engine before he pivoted to look at his friend. 
“Listen to me Jim, okay? Nobody is expecting you to do anything you’re not
ready to do. Any pressure you’re feeling is bullshit you’re telling yourself
because of the way people are. But it’s not real, and you don’t have to cave to
it. Just do what you want to do when you’re ready to do it. That’s all; that’s
the big secret to sex. Anyone tells you otherwise send them my way and I’ll
correct that shit right then and there. Okay?”
 
Jim nodded feeling a little better, but his eyes were still soft with
uncertainty. “Is it normal? I mean, I think about sex all the time but- “He
faulted not certain how to voice the rest of the statement so he fell silent
and looked down.
 
Harvey reached out and touched Jim’s chin, slowly raising it with his fingers.
The two friends made eye contact. “You’re the most normal, white bread, lace
curtains, son of a bitch I’ve ever met Jim. There is nothing wrong with you.”
Harvey lowered his hand and smiled, eliciting a slight smirk out of Jim as
well.  “Except for your anger issues, those fuckers are way off the charts.”
 
Jim laughed and lightly punched Harvey in the arm. “I’ll give you anger
issues.” Teasing aside Jim’s expression fell to one of abject adoration.
“Thanks, Harv.” Jim didn’t embrace his friend but it was clear he wanted to. To
save him the trouble Harvey started the truck and pulled back onto the access
road.
 
“Anytime Junior.”
 
They rode in compatible silence for several minutes and Harvey glanced from the
road to Jim and back again. He felt a sense of pride wash over him. Jim’s
father had died in an industrial accident in Wellington two years prior and the
two had been immensely close. Being older, Harvey naturally stepped into the
role of being Jim’s go to adult, male, roll model hoping that he was at least
doing Peter Gordon justice. He wanted to do right by Jim, help ease the pain of
losing his father and guide him into adulthood. While he wasn’t perfect and
hardly felt himself anyone’s mentor, with Jim it was different; it was
necessary to fill the space vacated by his father’s death.  He had known Jim
since the younger male was six years old and been picked on for being short for
his age, quiet, intelligent and not being a native of Gotham.  For Harvey at
eleven years old, it had been love at first sight. Harvey instantly wanted to
protect the large, blue eyed little boy from harm. They had formed an instant
friendship and Harvey didn’t mind having a smaller shadow, including Jim in
anything he did if it were possible. Soon Harvey’s friends either accepted
Jim’s presence or chose to hang out in other people’s company. Harvey
discovered who his true friends were, and if Jim wasn’t with his father he was
with Harvey.
 
Harvey smiled fondly at the memories the past brought up and glanced from the
road to Jim once more. Eight years later the two were inseparable and were
always questioned by those they met whenever alone if their counterpart were
ill. Jim was no longer a small little kid, he was five inches shorter than
Harvey’s five-foot eleven-inch frame. Harvey enjoyed the security of having Jim
at his side through the good and bad, and knew that Jim needed him as well.
While he wished that Jim’s father was still alive, Harvey was glad that Jim
talked to him about the things he would have with Peter Gordon. Best friend,
brother, surrogate father or whatever all he meant to Jim, Harvey was content
to be that go to person for him.
 
Jim’s expression was pensive as he watched the trees blur past the passenger
window.  He was hungry and glad that he and Harvey would be stopping for
something to eat, but he was not looking forward to returning home. He wondered
if his mother was drunk yet and passed out on the couch, or in her bed with a
few empty bottles of cheap wine on the bedside table and a tipped over glass.
He would patiently clean up after her before going to his own room and finish
his homework from Friday in preparation for Monday at school. He hated that
Harvey was five years older than him and they hadn’t gone to high school
together, but at least they had two years of elementary school in the same
building. Jim was hoping that he could graduate early at sixteen and was
pushing himself academically to be able to do so. The faster he was out of
school the sooner he could get to work to earn money for college and spend more
time with Harvey.
 
He entertained a fantasy that they would work at the same job and when Jim went
away to college out of state that Harvey would follow him. He couldn’t imagine
his life without the older male, as he had known him longer in his life than he
hadn’t and measured his childhood by before Harvey and after. He realized that
more accurately the gage should have been living in Chicago from birth until
six years old before his family moved to Gotham.  His mother had relatives in
Wellington but had wanted to live in Gotham for the small-town charm. The
desire had backfired on her when she became a widow and everyone’s interest in
her life doubled. She felt judged and pitied and turned to drinking to numb the
pain of having to raise and provide for Jim on her own.  The past two years had
been brutal for Jim and his mother, but at the very least through it all he had
Harvey to depend on. There had been several nights Jim had nightmares and
called Harvey for support. The older teen had invariably come over and crawled
through Jim’s bedroom window so that they wouldn’t wake his mother on the couch
or awake grieving.  He would stay the remainder of the night and sneak back out
of the house before sunrise. Jim had always been grateful for his care and had
only ever gone back to sleep because Harvey had been there comforting him.
 
Jim pursed his lips and cast a sidelong glance at Harvey and smiled a little.
“I’ll pay for dinner.” Jim announced shifting his eyes back to the passenger
window. Harvey snorted and Jim looked at his profile immediately. “You don’t
think I can? Or do you think I won’t?”
 
“I think you better worry about paying for yourself and I’ll cover my bill.
Same as most times.”
 
Jim rolled his gaze before settling it back upon Harvey. “I offered because I
want to. Just let me.”
 
Harvey grunted and shifted in the seat. “I dunno Junior. You pay for my dinner
and I’m gonna have to put out for you. Think you can handle my beast of a
cock?” Harvey laughed at Jim’s incredulous expression that was also a deep
crimson from blushing. “Relax Jim. I’ll let you pay. Just, you know; don’t make
it a habit or I will have to show you a good time.”
 
Jim punched Harvey in the arm and shook his head. “I should make you put out
just for that.” He snorted. “Way to ruin the moment. Why can’t you ever just
let the situation be without making light of my feelings?”
 
“Hey! I’m not making light of anything, Jim. Okay?” Harvey alternated between
looking at the road and at Jim as he spoke. “You wanna pay for our meals? Fine.
Alls I’m saying is that I have a healthy appetite and it could get expensive
fast. And I was planning on dessert.”
 
“Which we usually share and yeah, I have enough money for the two of us so just
stop it.”
 
Harvey shrugged. “Okay. Fine. You pay. Make a big deal out of it, why don’t
you?” Jim glared at Harvey. “Just sayin’.” Jim shook his head and looked back
out the passenger window. It was going to be a long ride home.
 
The television was playing softly in the living room when Jim got home. His
mother was sitting up on the couch wrapped in a blanket, staring blankly at the
screen and crying softly. There was an opened bottle of wine on the coffee
table and half a glass full just within reach.  She wasn’t watching television
but rather listening to static noise as she grieved. She sniffed seeing her son
standing in the entry way, worry smattered across his features.
 
“Mom?”
 
“Oh, hi Honey. Did you have dinner yet?” Guilt consumed Mary Gordon that her
fourteen-year-old son should have to see her like this.  She tried as hard as
she could to be strong for him, but in the end, it seemed like their roles were
reversed emotionally and Jim was now raising her.  “I can fix you something.
Sandwiches or soup okay?”
 
“It’s okay, Mom. Harvey and I got a bite earlier. I’m good.” Jim moved into the
living room and pushed his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. He looked
younger than his age suddenly to Mary. “Did you eat tonight?”
 
“I’m not hungry, Honey. But thanks.”  She patted the couch next to her. “Want
to have a seat and tell me what you and Harvey did today?”
 
Jim took half a step back reactively. “Uh, actually I have some homework I have
to finish up before school tomorrow.” He half shrugged. “We didn’t do anything
really but hang out.  I know I should have been back earlier but, Harvey had to
drive up to Wellington and I went with him. I didn’t think you’d mind much.”
 
Mary shook her head.  As long as Jim was with Harvey she considered him safe
and in responsible hands.  “Go on back then.” She directed of Jim’s room. “Just
say good night to me before you go to sleep.”
 
Jim nodded. “Okay, Mom. Thanks.” Jim turned and moved quickly down the hall to
his room. He closed the door behind him and took a couple of deep breaths to
try and clear the image of his mother away from his mind’s eye. He hated it
when she cried over his father; after she mourned him she sobbed about her
failures; perceived or real; as his mother. Jim didn’t like her beating herself
up for something she only wanted to cry about and not actually take the steps
to fix. Regardless she went to work and earned them enough money for rent and
most bills, so he couldn’t complain. She paid them on time but otherwise left
him to his own devices.  At his age Harvey would have killed for such freedom,
but Jim felt the same about structure and discipline.  He felt lost without
it.  Therefore, Jim had to provide those things for himself and it wasn’t easy,
but his mother was of little help in that department.
 
Jim moved to his desk and turned on the reading lamp and pulled out his chair.
His gaze moved over his text books as he attempted to decide where to start. 
He elected to begin with American History and the essay he was supposed to
write earlier in the week, but fell behind with due to his Geometry homework
being more interesting and to his taste. Jim sat down at the desk and sighed.
Shaking his head to clear it and focused upon the tasks at hand to pull him
through to early graduation.  Three hours later when Jim returned to the living
room to wish Mary goodnight she was asleep. He made sure her blanket was
covering her, turned off the television and put away the glass and empty bottle
before heading to bed.
 
He tossed and turned unable to get Harvey’s comment about his ‘beast of a
cock’. Harvey had always been prolifically crude and brash, bordering on
obnoxious for those who didn’t know him well at all. He used humor to deflect
conversational exchanges he wasn’t certain he wanted to have, but at the same
time was very open with his own thoughts and feelings.  The comment niggled at
Jim because he had to admit he was curious about whether Harvey had been
exaggerating or not.  On the one hand, it bothered him that he cared, on the
other hand Jim’s curiosity burned. So much so that Jim picked up his phone and
texted to Harvey.
 
‘Were you lying to me?’
 
It took nearly ten minutes but the reply from Harvey was a-typical. ‘About
what?’
 
‘Your beastly cock.’
 
It took only seconds this time for a response. ‘Are you kidding me right now?’
 
‘No. I want to know.’
 
Harvey frowned, his brow furrowing as he considered Jim’s comment. Curious, was
he? Why? There were a billion other things the kid could be thinking about but
what did it say about him that Jim was thinking about an off handed comment
about cock? Harvey huffed and typed in full honesty, ‘Bigger than average, but
not in the gigantic porn territory. Happy?’
 
Jim considered the response. ‘Are you being humble?’
 
“Seriously?” Harvey asked himself aloud upon reading Jim’s text. He responded,
‘Full disclosure I’ve only made one girl cry. A couple of have backed out at
the last minute. Why are you so interested all the sudden?’
 
‘Full disclosure? I don’t know.’  Jim only felt semi-guilty for sending his
last text but there was nothing he could do to retrieve it even if he wanted
to.  It wasn’t a lie in that he didn’t understand why he cared, only that he
did.  Yet it wasn’t the first time he had thought about Harvey’s body in a
manner other than platonic.
 
‘Fair enough.’ Harvey lay his phone on the dashboard of his truck and stared at
the liquor store. He wasn’t there to purchase anything but to pick up a recent
lady friend for a late-night hook up.  He was about to head on into the store
to wait for her to get off shift when his phone vibrated upon the dashboard. He
reached for it immediately wondering what Jim had to say.
 
‘Can you come over?’
 
Harvey cursed softly aloud and typed, ‘It’ll have to be later, I have a date
right now.’ Harvey paused, thumb hovering over the send icon even as he re-read
the text. He deleted it and sent instead; ‘See you in 10.’
 
‘Thanks.’ Jim smiled. ‘The window is unlocked.’
 
“What am I doin’?” Harvey asked himself before getting out of the truck. He
needed to tell his lady friend about the change of plans face to face, and
hoped she would still want to see him at some point. If she didn’t then, so be
it. Family was more important than getting laid, but at nineteen there was only
particular family Harvey was willing to sacrifice for and Jim was one of them.
 
Jim got ready for bed and pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and tee shirt. He
paced anxiously awaiting Harvey’s arrival. He tidied up his already neat room
just for something to keep him busy while he waited, before returning to his
pacing.  Jim continued to check the bedside clock wondering how long it would
take Harvey to arrive, holding him to the ten-minute estimation but hoping he
would arrive sooner. Harvey arrived at the seventeen-minute mark, and Jim was
nearly ready to jump out of his skin when heard the window slide open behind
the blinds. He opened the blinds to permit Harvey an easier entry as he climbed
in. Jim rushed to help him before setting the window to rights.
 
“Thanks for coming Harvey.” Jim threw his arms around Harvey’s middle and
hugged him tightly, eyes closed as he pressed a cheek against the older teen’s
chest.
 
“You’re welcome.” Harvey allowed returning Jim’s embrace. He severed the hug
and met Jim’s gaze. “What happened?”
 
Jim had the decency to look chastised and answered, “Mom was crying when I got
home.” He didn’t need to say anything more and Harvey nodded and placed his
hands upon Jim’s shoulders.
 
“It’s okay.” He hooked a thumb in indication of the bed. “Get in.” Jim grinned
and quickly scrambled from underneath Harvey’s hands and into bed. Harvey took
off his over shirt and boots, before stripping to his underwear. Once finished
he climbed into bed beside Jim and within a blink of an eye Jim was cuddled
against him, head resting upon his shoulder and chest. “Better?”
 
“Yes.” Jim burrowed against Harvey and closed his eyes, within minutes he was
asleep and Harvey remained awake a little while longer to guard Jim before he
succumbed to sleep as well.
~~~~~~~~~
School wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Normally Jim enjoyed his classes and
friends, but today he wasn’t having a usual day. His mind kept creeping back
around to Harvey and wondering what the nineteen-year-old was doing.  He
figured he was at work at the feed store, but beyond that what was he doing?
Who was he talking too? What was he thinking? Was he flirting with every girl
and woman that set foot in the place? Or merely spreading his ‘Harvey-ness’
around in more concentrated bursts?
 
Jim found himself doodling in math when he was supposed to be checking his
answers on the board with the teacher and rest of the students in his class. He
made little robot versions of himself and Harvey hanging out in their empty
house in Wellington.  He hoped that after school and Harvey got off work that
they could make their way over to the house and hang out some before Jim had to
be home by his appointed curfew. He wanted to be there alone with his best
friend, but there was no telling if Harvey had invited any female company over
already. Jim hoped not, but he could hardly check with a text until after
class. He drew another version of the Harvey robot shooting flames out of his
hands to spell his name in flaming, steel letters.  Jim sighed silently and
halted in his doodling as the bell finally rang to end class. As he gathered
his things he heard the shouted homework assignment from the teacher and bolted
for the door.
 
Once in the hallway Jim leaned back against the wall and texted Harvey from his
phone.
 
‘Headed to Biology. Can we go to the house today and hang out for first time?
We can christen it later with company.’
 
Jim was just about to his next class when the phone vibrated in his hand to
alert him to Harvey’s reply.
 
‘Can’t. Waiting on feed shipment. Need to deliver to the Erickson’s next.
Sorry. I’ll drop by yours on my way home. Short visit only.’
 
Crestfallen Jim set back a quick, ‘K. See you then.’ and slunk to his class
room. He was crushingly disappointed that not only did he not get to go to
their secret house, but even worse that he wouldn’t get to spend much time with
Harvey. He was used to seeing the older teen almost every day and on occasions
he couldn’t, his upset was becoming more and more pronounced.  He felt like he
was a love-sick kid yearning after his first crush that didn’t even know he was
alive.  To be certain that’s what everything was leading too for Jim, he
realized. He had a crush on Harvey and was pouting because he couldn’t see him
whenever he wanted to. Which; being a crush; was all the time. Jim frowned. How
had this happened? He was male and there was no way he could have a crush on
another male. This was insane; sick; and he had to get a handle on his
feelings. Yet the more Jim sat at his desk and attempted to find clarity with
the new revelation the calmer he grew about it.  While the entire, ‘does this
mean I’m gay? I don’t feel gay’ argument raged on in Jim’s mind the more
natural his affections for Harvey felt. By the end of class Jim was either numb
to any emotion what so ever due to shock, or he was perfectly content with
Harvey being the only male he would; could; have romantic feelings for.
 
To distance himself a little from obsessing over Harvey, Jim drew a robot
version of himself shooting ice blasts out of his hands to make cold steel
letters of his name. Where the ice and fire met on the page he drew steam and
dripping water. It took him the rest of his third class to finish, and
disgusted with himself he shoved the paper deep into one of his text books not
caring which it was.  He had to get a grip on himself before he saw Harvey that
night. The last thing he wanted to do was admit his conflicted feelings to the
older teen. He didn’t want to see pity for him in Harvey’s eyes, or feel a
‘there, there’ pat on the shoulder in turn.  Jim knew he was a stupid “kid” and
didn’t need to hear it from Harvey’s lips.
 
Jim managed to slog through the rest of his classes and was happy when soccer
practice rolled around and he could be openly aggressive for a while. It helped
focus and clear his mind immensely. However, the moment he was showered and
back into his street clothes to walk home, his mind immediately turned to
Harvey.  The reason why he had chosen to walk instead of taking the bus was he
could alter his path enough to go by the feed store and debate if he should go
inside to see Harvey or not. Weakness won out and he sheepishly entered the
double doors nodding to a couple of ranchers he knew by name as he passed
inside.  Nervously Jim switched his backpack to his opposite shoulder and set
about looking for Harvey.
 
It wasn’t difficult to locate him, he heard the familiar boom of his voice and
stalked in that direction. He still had time to reverse track but the closer he
got the more he wanted to see his crush. The moment he rounded a corner display
of horse shampoo he wished he hadn’t come in at all. Harvey was up front with
one arm on a stack of cattle feed and the other on his hip as he flirted
shamelessly with a very perky bodied, redhead. Chelsea Macintyre.  Jim hated
her; she was twenty-five, married and had no business hitting on his best
friend just because she wanted to get a leg over on the side. She was propping
her breasts up to show more cleavage and leaning towards Harvey, occasionally
touching him with a hand, and Harvey was eating it up like a half-starved rat.
 
Jim’s cheeks were burning and he was about to back away because Chelsea was
giggling and flipping her stupid hair back over her shoulders with a toss of
her head, pressing her lipstick slick lips in the direction of Harvey’s left
ear. He felt a hand press down upon his shoulder and an obnoxiously loud voice
greeted him.
 
“Why Jimmy Gordon!” Jim flinched hating to be called Jimmy as much as he
loathed being discovered in the feed store with only one reason to be there.
All be it that reason was flirting with an adulterer but Harvey didn’t seem to
care.  “I was hoping to run into you, boy.  I got me a dozen sheep that need
sheering and you have the natural touch. Can I count on your help after Sunday
Mass?”
 
Jim gulped. “Yes sir. I’d be happy to, Mr. Ericksen.”
 
Ericksen patted Jim’s shoulder once more. “Glad to hear it. There’s a fifty in
it for you and don’t tell your Ma about it either.” He winked at Jim truly
joking about Jim’s mother and the two exchanged farewells. Defeated, Jim’s
shoulders rounded down and he turned in direction of the feed display to
further his bad situation by facing Harvey and Chelsea.
 
“Jimmy!” Harvey called to him, teasing about Ericksen’s innocent faux pas. “Hey
there, Bud. C’mon over here.” When Jim got close enough to him and Chelsea,
Harvey added quietly, “I have some sheep you can shear with your ‘natural’
touch.”  Jim rolled his eyes and looked at Chelsea. She was as happy with him
crashing her pick up party as Jim was. At least Harvey was talking to him; for
now.  Harvey reached out and touched Jim’s arm with the back of his hand. “So,
what’s up? What’chya doing here?”
 
“Just felt like saying hi.” Jim didn’t stammer but inside he was freaking out
about what to say next, or at all. He felt like he was hanging himself tighter
with each passing word. “Is it okay if I hang out a little? Maybe do my
homework in the back office?”
 
Harvey shrugged his shoulders. “Why not. I don’t think Dave will mind.” He
reached out for Jim and placed an arm around his shoulders. “Let’s go ask him.”
Harvey smiled at Chelsea and excused himself, but Jim could not help wishing
that she wouldn’t wait for Harvey to come back. Once the flirting spell was
broken it was often difficult to get it back, especially as hard as they had
been at it.  Jim cast a look back at her over his shoulder once Harvey had
turned them and was steering them towards the office. His arm was still snuggly
around Jim’s shoulders. Jim’s gaze narrowed and he gave Chelsea a smug smirk
and hoped she got the message to leave Harvey alone.
 
“Yo! Dave!” Harvey knocked on the door frame with his opposite hand and his
boss looked up from his desk.
 
“Yo! Harvey!” then quieter still, “What can I do for you?”
 
“You remember Jim, right?” Harvey motioned to his best friend, causing Dave to
look at Harvey like he was brain damaged for declaring the obvious.  “Anyway,
can he hang out here till my shifts over? I’ll take him with on the delivery
but, that cool with you? He’s just gonna do his homework cause he’s a goody two
shoes.”
 
“Sure.” Dave said rising to stand. “You’re welcome to the desk Jim, and you;”
he pointed at Harvey as he rounded the desk and walked towards them and the
door. “Shelves ain’t gonna stock themselves.”
 
“Don’t I know it.” Harvey smirked and moved him and Jim out of the way. They
both thanked Dave as he passed them and then Harvey turned to Jim. “You gonna
be okay on your own for a while? I can check on you on my break but, for now
just sit tight.”
 
“I will.” Jim promised. He was not about to do anything that would jeopardize
Harvey’s livelihood.  “See you soon?”
 
“Count on it.” Harvey patted Jim’s shoulder one more time and retracted his
arm. He left the room and Jim watched him leave.
 
Oh yes, Jim had it bad. Very bad indeed. Jim sighed wishfully and walked over
to the desk to begin his homework. If he wanted to graduate early he had to put
in the time now to keep his grades high. He had a lot of dreams for his future
and they all included Harvey.
 
Jim was firmly engrossed in his homework when Harvey came into the office on
his break as promised. He brought them both burgers and fries from the diner up
the street, and two sodas from the vending machine. Jim was grateful and didn’t
realize how hungry he was until the food was in front of him. As a thank you he
gave Harvey half of his fries. Feeling confident he asked, “So, what was up
between you and Chelsea McIntyre? She looked pretty cozy coming on to you like
that.”
 
“Like what?” Harvey asked a cheeky mischief sparkling in his eyes. “I don’t
know what you’re talking about Jim.”
 
Jim gave Harvey a pointed look. “Like someone who’s married and trying to fool
around with a sales guy at a feed store.”
 
“Are you judging her, Gordon?” Harvey asked seriousness edged within his voice.
“Because I thought you were more of the live and let live type. A better man
than that even. Yet here you are, about to bad mouth a woman and brand her with
a scarlet letter for something that’s her choice.”
 
Jim’s face burned with shame as well as anger. “Yeah but ‘her choice’ now
involves you. You’re a better man than that too, Harvey; someone who wouldn’t
hurt another person like say, Jason McIntyre by sleeping with his wife.” He
knew he had Harvey dead to rights but also that he himself had been caught in
the wrong of judgement. “Are you? Are you going to have sex with her Harvey?”
 
“God no!” Harvey dismissed with a flippant wave of the hand not holding on to
his burger. “Look it, a little harmless flirting goes a long way. She feels
special and I keep my skills honed. It doesn’t hurt anyone and no body’s acting
on anything so, relax Junior; Uncle Harvey’s still worthy of being your role
model.”
 
Jim looked down at his food suddenly not that hungry any longer. “I never said
you weren’t. I was only asking if you were going to have sex with her.” Jim
raised his gaze to lock onto Harvey’s. “And you’re not, so I feel better.”
 
“Why would you even care- “Harvey’s question was cut off midstream by Dave
calling to him through the office door.
 
“Shipment’s here Bullock. Get a move on and give me a hand.”
 
Harvey stated that he would before turning his expression back to Jim, and
putting down his hamburger. “Don’t eat the rest of this. It shouldn’t take but
half an hour to get that trailer unloaded and the shipment into my truck. Okay
Jim?”
 
Jim nodded and Harvey left the room. Once he was gone Jim took the time to
carefully wrap up the remainder of Harvey’s food and put it back in the take-
out bag. While he had narrowly avoided a potentially difficult question to
answer he was looking forward to the time he would spend with Harvey driving to
the Ericksen property. Just the two of them; no interruptions; and no Chelsea
McIntyre.  After ten minutes of waiting Jim went to the loading dock and sat
watching Harvey and another employee unload the palates from the tractor
trailer and perform other duties. Once Harvey had performed perfunctory tasks
and his shift ended, Harvey motioned to Jim to get in his truck while he said
his farewells and clocked out.
 
They were only on the road two minutes when Jim asked, “Don’t you get paid for
making this delivery?”
 
“Of course, I do. I just tell Dave how long it took and he pays the over time.
Simple.” Harvey frowned. “Why you are worrying about that Jim?”
 
Jim shrugged. “Just wondering I guess.” He smiled at Harvey. “Thanks for
letting me wait for you today. I just really didn’t want to be alone at home.”
 
“No, I get it, man. I do.” Harvey assured him affectionately. “You had a rough
Mom night. She go to work today?”
 
Jim nodded. “Oh, and thanks again for coming over yesterday. That meant a lot.
I don’t think I would have been able to get to sleep without you.”
 
The blatant honesty made Harvey shift in the seat and blush a little. “What’re
friends for, right?” He shrugged to deflect how deeply Jim’s words touched him.
He hated to see the younger teen suffer and would do anything to comfort him.
Even if it meant giving up a sexual encounter for an evening.
 
The two chatted mostly about day to day topics and once they reached the
Ericksen’s property Jim helped Harvey unload the shipment into the shed, before
they were on the road once more.  By the time they were back into the main part
of town the sun was setting and Jim arrived home to an empty house. Harvey came
inside with him and the note left for Jim by his mother, he saw that Mary was
picking up a second shift to make up for her previous sick day. Jim frowned and
wondered if she was truly going to work or if that was her code for going to a
bar in Wellington with her work friends. Usually she would have told him the
truth, but lately he had caught her in a few lies and felt the need to question
her actions.
 
Harvey saw the disappointment upon Jim’s face and rested a hand upon his
shoulder. “Say, why don’t you let me warm up my left overs and we’ll eat
together.”
 
Jim perked up a immediately. “I’m making grilled cheese. Save the fries but
that burger? I’m not letting you eat it after its been out this long.”
 
“Thanks Mom.” Harvey joked following direction. “So, make me a couple of them
sandwiches, will ya?”
 
Jim was all too happy to oblige, and Harvey went to wash up while Jim made them
diner. In the bathroom Harvey caught his reflection in the mirror while washing
his face. He watched water drip from his skin back into the sink basin and
caught his own gaze. What was he doing? He had some time to spend with Jim
before he was going to re-try meeting his lady friend at the liquor store. She
had been very insistent that he show up after giving her the run around the
previous night. Mary was out and Jim was alone. Sure, the kid was the super
responsible type and wouldn’t do anything dangerous that would require him
needing to be supervised, but Jim was more than just a kid, he was part of
Harvey’s family. Family didn’t leave family in a time of crisis.
 
Obviously, Mary had a lot on her plate and Jim was experiencing the fallout
from it, probably blaming himself for not being able to help her. Then again
Mary Gordon had always come across as aloof and difficult to get to know, her
husband Peter the mirror opposite. To Harvey it was as if Jim was expecting her
to take on more of his father’s characteristics now that the man was dead, to
forge a more decent relationship with her son. However, it was Jim that was
attempting to behave like Peter Gordon and failing because he wasn’t his
father, he was himself.  All this aside, was one night of getting laid worth
leaving the kid; in desperate need of dependable guidance and companionship;
alone?  Harvey groaned and dried his face and hands quickly on a hand towel and
reached into his pocket for his cell phone. He knew he was kissing goodbye any
future opportunities with this woman, but when Jim was in question, how could
he not stay?
 
The way Jim’s smile lit up the entire kitchen made Harvey realize he had made
the right decision. Even if it cost him a scolding and easy sex. Harvey pushed
his hands into his front pockets. “Need any help?”
 
Jim shook his head. “I got it.” He nodded in direction of the table. “Have a
seat.” Harvey did so only stopping temporarily at the refrigerator to get
himself a beer. He grinned at Jim when the younger teen rolled his eyes at him.
“You and booze.”
 
“What about me and booze Junior? I’m not gonna get drunk.”
 
“I know you don’t.” Jim praised setting a plate of reheated French fries and
two grilled cheese sandwiches cut in triangles in front of Harvey. He returned
to the stove to make his own meal. “But I don’t know what you see in drinking.”
 
“It’s not about what I see, but what I don’t see.” Harvey explained honestly.
“I don’t see how small this town is, how big my family is, what a loser job I
have, having no girl to share it with, all tied up with spectacular, crappy
ribbon.” Harvey shrugged. “You’ll see what I mean once you’re old enough to
start drinking.”
 
“What do you mean, ‘old enough’?” Jim demanded looking at his crush. “You let
me drink beers whenever I want too.”
 
Harvey pointed at him. “Yes, but you rarely partake and I don’t let you near
the hard stuff. Not until you’re at leastsixteen.” Jim pulled a face and Harvey
grunted at him. “Hey! Don’t roll your eyes at me. I’m serious.”
 
“So am I.” Jim defended shaking his head. “I don’t want to drink the hard
stuff, sixteen or not.”
 
“You will.” Harvey reassured him. Unless of course Mary started to turn to the
harder bottles and became a non-functioning alcoholic. “But we’ll see if we can
stave that off until after college.”
 
“Speaking of,” Jim stated looking at his sandwiches long enough to flip them in
the pan. “I’m already starting to look at places. Wanna see the brochures after
we eat?”
 
Harvey wiped a hand over his mouth before replying, “How about we do something
else? Something fun instead?”  There was only slight disappointment in Jim’s
eyes when he answered that was fine with him, but then Harvey felt the guilt
begin to bubble up inside of him. Collages were something that Peter Gordon
would have discussed with his son, but Harvey felt woefully inadequate that he
had not begun college classes or even applied. With no money and eight other
kids in the family it seemed like that rite of passage was one he would never
participate in.  He shouldn’t punish Jim just because he had a shot at a
college education that Harvey didn’t.  How was he doing Jim’s father justice by
preventing Jim to share college selections with him?  “You know what, maybe
you’re right. We should look at colleges; narrow it down a little so you can
focus on them when the time comes.”  Again, it was like someone had flipped a
switch in the kitchen to turn on the light of the sun, all of it from Jim’s
smile and subsequent happiness. Harvey sighed softly and offered him a
reassuring smile.
 
“I only have ten so far, but I’m getting more from the guidance counselor in a
month or two when the colleges send more packets out.”
 
“Yeah, yeah. Ten huh? Great. We’ll knock it out of the park.” Harvey was
dreading the subsequent conversation but he had made the commitment and Jim was
happy.
 
Jim joined him at the table and sat next to him instead of across. He looked
the picture of smug joy. “Thanks Harvey.”
 
“No problem Jim.”
 
For twenty minutes after dinner Jim sat as close as he could to Harvey as he
showed him the college brochures. They eliminated several and put a few into
the consideration pile. Jim couldn’t help but feel a little giddy, sitting
close enough to smell Harvey’s clothes and skin. He even managed to touch a
lock of thick, red hair. He was so tempted to just put his fingers upon
Harvey’s scalp and massage and stroke it before combing his fingers through his
mane.  His fingers itched with want but he managed to control himself. What he
couldn’t stop was smiling slightly, his eyes bright with excitement and
adoration both whenever he looked at his older friend. He praised Harvey for
being good at helping him ask the right questions of himself and separate
function from fantasy regarding which campuses would be the best fit for him.
Harvey blushed at the complement but was thankful when the brochures were
finally put away.
 
The two teens retired to the living room where they sat on the couch and played
a competitive few hands of poker.  Jim sat up on the couch, shoes off, back
against the arm, legs bent and he would lean forward to add to his hand or
deal.  Harvey sat facing him one leg beneath him the other foot upon the floor.
He was winning but Jim was not convinced that there was no sleight of hand
involved. Harvey laughed at him in triumph and Jim kicked at him with a foot to
warn him to stop cheating if he was.
 
“We should have put money on this game. I would have made out like a bandit.”
Harvey nudged Jim’s shin with the backside of his arm and began collecting the
cards up off the cushion between them. Jim snorted and tossed his cards at
Harvey. “Hey! Watch it Junior. No reason to be a sore loser. Where’s your
sportsmanship? Don’t they teach you that in soccer?”
 
“Yes, but why should I be a good sport if the pitch isn’t level? You’re
cheating. I don’t know how but I know you are.” Jim crossed his arms and glared
at his crush.
 
“Oh yeah? Prove it.” Harvey leaned forward. “But you can’t, can you Jim? It’s
just a hunch in your gut that you can’t do anything about.”
 
Jim’s arms uncrossed and he launched himself at Harvey attempting to get him in
a headlock. “I can do something!” He pronounced as the two began wrestling, and
it only took a few minutes of grunting and huffing for Jim to begin to feel
better. The tension oozed from his muscles and he caught himself laughing once
or twice at the ridiculous positions he and Harvey were contorting themselves
into in attempts to get the upper hand.  Jim might be small but he was solid
and strong; freakishly so in Harvey’s opinion.
 
In the end Jim got the upper hand by clinging to Harvey’s back, arm across his
throat, opposite locking him in. His legs were around Harvey’s middle, also
locked at the ankles. Trying to dislodge him, Harvey fell back upon the couch
but was only partially on it and more on Jim. Red faced and determined Jim
would not let go.
 
“Son. Of. A.”
 
“Tap out.” Jim ground his teeth together. “Tap out and I’ll let go.”
 
“N-ever!”
 
“Then you’re gonna pass out and I’m going to look for cards up your sleeves.”
His breath was coming fast, his body zinging with energy from being pressed so
intimately against Harvey’s body. “Tap. Out!”  Harvey grunted and flailed a
little, but in the end reached up with two fingers and tagged Jim’s forearm. 
Jim was surprised by the wave of disappointment that washed over him at the
yield.  He loosened his arm at Harvey’s throat and just hugged him instead,
pressing his nose through the hair covering Harvey’s left ear and lay his cheek
against Harvey’s face. He didn’t lessen the constriction of his legs, but at
the upper body he had yielded in his own manner.
 
“I tapped.” Harvey pointed out not moving. Jim abruptly placed a kiss upon his
cheek.
 
“You’re mine now.” Jim hugged Harvey tightly, luxuriating in the feel of their
bodies pressed together. Perhaps a little too much he realized suddenly as his
loins pulsed to life. He immediately colored and was about to stutter some sort
of explanation about not having control over his body just yet, yet Harvey
saved him the trouble.
 
“Aww, Jim. Puberty bites.” He shook his head and patted one of Jim’s legs.
“Glad I’m past that stage.” He reached behind him with the opposite and pet
Jim’s hair, mussing it at the end.  “Now let go before little Harvey thinks
this is a party train.”
 
“Sorry.” Jim mused slowly un crossing his legs, he was slower to release his
arms.
 
“S’nothing.” Harvey reassured him rising to stand and straightening his
clothes. He turned to face Jim.  “Maybe I did cheat a little.” He admitted
producing a card from the inside of his sleeve cuff.
 
“I knew it!” Jim exclaimed reaching out to punch Harvey soundly in the arm.
“You bastard!”
 
Harvey laughed and threw the card onto the coffee table where the rest of the
deck lay. “You gotta have proof before you go around making accusations,
Junior. Promise me you’ll remember that for next time.”
 
“I promise nothing.” Jim grinned leaning forward to straighten the deck and put
it in a drawer beneath the coffee table surface. He watched Harvey drain the
last of his second beer and take the bottle into the kitchen for disposal. Jim
waited for him to return. “Did you have plans tonight?”
 
The question came so suddenly Harvey didn’t censor himself fast enough. “Yeah,
but it wasn’t anything super important.”
 
“What did your friends want to do? Go to Wellington bars and pick up women?”
 
Harvey shrugged. “It wasn’t like that.” He straightened a few items on the
coffee table avoiding Jim’s gaze. “I kinda sorta had a date.” Jim’s utter
silence worried Harvey and he looked quickly up at him. The younger teen was
merely staring at him expressionless.  “But like I said,” He felt the desire to
soothe Jim’s rankled feathers; just why he wasn’t certain. “it was no big
deal.”
 
“Super important.” Jim reminded evenly. “You said that it ‘wasn’t anything
super important’. So, what? You saw my Mom wasn’t here and you stayed?”
 
“No. It wasn’t like that. You don’t need a baby sitter Jim. You needed a friend
tonight and that’s what I was doing; helping a friend that had a bad night. No
grand conspiracy here so relax.”
 
Jim’s expression narrowed and he looked away. He wasn’t angry at Harvey, he was
jealous and he damn well knew it. But of course, Harvey would think he was just
being an over sensitive baby about the entire issue. Jim closed his eyes and
shook his head.  “I should get ready for bed.” He rose and moved to walk around
the coffee table but Harvey grabbed his arm.
 
“Jim, it’s still early. What’re you talking about huh?” He caught Jim’s glare.
“Look, I told you that I know you can take care of yourself.”
 
“I’m not mad about that!” Jim snapped yanking his arm free of Harvey’s grip.
“I’m pissed off that you think that’s the reason why I’m angry.” He motioned to
his own chest with his hands. “I know I can take care of myself. I also know
things are strained with my Mom right now, and I appreciate you dropping
everything to comfort me, but I’m not mad about you being here. I just don’t
want you to think that I would ever keep you from hanging out with your
friends.” The lie was small; made perfect sense; and Jim allowed it to stand.
“We’re brothers, but people who love each other don’t make one person change
their plans every damn time something doesn’t go the other’s way.”
 
“Hey!” Harvey reasoned grabbing onto Jim’s biceps with his hands. “We are
brothers Jim; and to me family comes first. So, if that means I don’t get laid
tonight then, what difference does that make as long as my little brother feels
more secure while Mom’s battling her own demons?”
 
Jim forced himself to relax, and the sincerity in Harvey’s eyes made the action
simple.  Jim offered a smile of contrition and nodded. “I’m sorry, Harvey. I
know I’m being a jerk I just,” He paused and huffed out a sound before his
shoulders rounded in defeat. “There’s so much inside of me right now I just
want to scream; punch something; just fucking tear something apart.” He shook
his head. “That’s not me. Is it? What if it is?”
 
“It’s not.” Harvey assured touching a hand to Jim’s face. The younger teen
automatically leaned into the palm of his hand and gazed up at him with hope
and need. “It’s fucking puberty man. One minute you want to fuck anything you
can stick your dick in, and the next you want to blow up the world. It fucking
sucks, it’s messy, frustrating and will drive you insane but I’m telling you;
it’s not who you are. It’s just something that’s happening to you for now.” 
Harvey pulled Jim into his arms and cradled Jim gently for a few silent
seconds. He smiled feeling Jim’s arms snake around him and hold on tight.
 
“Don’t worry little brother; I’ve got you.”
 
Jim inhaled the scent of Harvey’s clothes and his own fragrance underneath. He
closed his eyes and realized he would give anything to look up into Harvey’s
eyes and kiss him for the first of many times.  He desperately wanted to tell
Harvey how he felt but he refrained until rational logic could prevail.  In the
end, the two went back to the couch and put on a movie that ended at around
midnight and both were sound asleep on the couch. Harvey woke up and ushered
Jim to bed and returned to the couch not wishing to drive home after he had
been sleeping so hard.  A minute after he closed his eyes Jim was standing over
him herding him in the direction of his room. He wanted to share the bed so
Harvey relented and followed just wanting to go back to sleep. Once he was on
the mattress with Jim pressed up against him, he got his wish.
 
In the morning Mary Gordon had still not returned.  Jim acted as if he was not
worried but Harvey could see the tension in his body language and the fear in
his eyes. Losing both parents wasn’t how life was supposed to go for Jim.
Harvey made them both breakfast and dropped Jim off at school urging him to try
and not worry, that he would check with the Sheriff to see if any accidents had
been reported in Wellington that involved Mary. Jim nodded stoically and
thanked him before climbing out of the truck and closing the door. He looked
back over his shoulder at Harvey as he walked a few steps then disappeared
inside of the building.
 
“Fuck.” Harvey put the truck in gear and pulled out of the parking lot.
 
By second period Jim received a text from Harvey stating, ‘Mom’s home safe and
sound’ to put Jim’s mind at ease. Upon sending the text he looked up at Mary
who was pouring herself some much-needed coffee, plus a healthy dose of whiskey
in it he noted.
 
“Not too over step any boundaries, but,” Harvey paused and made certain he had
eye contact with Jim’s mother for his next pronouncement. “He lost his Dad that
day too. The least you could have done was called him and let him know you were
spending the night in Wellington.”
 
“You’re right.” Mary stated coldly. She placed her mug on the table top and
pulled out a chair. “You shouldn’t over step boundaries. In fact, you should
get your ass out of my house. I don’t need you to tell me anything about my
son.”
 
Harvey shifted his weight to one hip and his jaw set. “Funny, I think you do.
He’s fourteen, Marry. He thought you were dead.”
 
Mary waved him off with a flippant flick of her wrist and took a sip of coffee.
Once she was finished swallowing she groused, “You were here. I didn’t have to
worry.”
 
Anger flashed across Harvey’s features. “You didn’t know I’d be here, which is
kind of the point. He needs you and you’re out catting around like you’re
twenty with no kid. I’m not saying you can’t go out or be in someone’s bed, I’m
just reminding you that you need to attend to your obligations at home first.”
 
“Why? Because you’re standing here judging me?” Mary shouted at him. “You don’t
understand a damn thing Harvey Bullock. It’s not all about Jim and what he’s
going through. I’m going through more than he is. I lost my best friend, the
man I love! Now take your sanctimonious bullshit and get the fuck outta my
house!” She hurled the coffee mug at him for good measure and Harvey held up a
forearm to block it as he stepped to one side. The mug clattered onto the floor
and broke, spilling coffee everywhere.
 
Harvey looked from the mess on the floor to Mary’s panting and reddened face.
Harvey shook his head. “I’m picking him up after school and we’re staying out
past curfew, and you’re not going to say jack shit to him about it.” She said
nothing and Harvey turned and left, slamming the front door behind him. He was
furious with her and couldn’t comprehend how she could treat her son in this
manner. She was his mother and she was only feeling sorry for herself without a
thought to Jim’s feelings. Harvey couldn’t replace her, but he sure as hell
could offer support and comfort to Jim.  Harvey sent a second text of, ‘Picking
you up after school to head to the Wellington house.’ Jim grinned when he saw
the words and he couldn’t wait for classes to end.
 
Jim couldn’t stop grinning widely as he reached the parking lot and Harvey’s
truck. “Hey! Jim m’boy, how’s it hanging!”
 
“A little to the left.” Jim teased putting on his seat belt.
 
Harvey patted his shoulder. “Ready?”
 
“So ready.” As they pulled into traffic Jim’s face fell. “But shouldn’t I go
home first and see if Mom- “
 
“Nope.” Harvey silenced glancing from the road to Jim. “I handled all that this
morning. She’s fine, she’s sorry about last night, and you and I are gonna have
ourselves a good time at our house.” Harvey hooked a thumb in indication of the
back window of the truck. “I’ve brought supplies a plenty, and since it’s
Friday it’s just you and me.”
 
Jim looked from the bed of the truck to Harvey’s profile. “You’re the absolute
best.”
 
“I know. It has been said many a time.” Harvey grinned so relieved that Jim was
going along with the plan and not second guessing or asking too many questions.
He didn’t want to lie to Jim but at the same time didn’t want to impart any
part of the exchange he had prior with Mary.
 
It was late afternoon when they reached the outskirts of Wellington and the
defunct housing district where they had chosen a dwelling to act as their
private residence. Harvey parked behind the house to keep his truck secluded
from the street, and within minutes Jim had gone in through the second story
window and let Harvey in via the kitchen slider doors. Together they carried
the supplies out of the truck and began setting them up in the living room. Jim
was happy to see that there were sodas and water in the cooler and no beer.
Also, that Harvey had gotten them takeout food for dinner and snacks from the
grocery store. They were going to feast like kings.
 
“I take it you approve?” Jim grinned and nodded. “Ata’boy. Do me a favor
Junior?” He threw a rolled up sleeping bag that nearly hit Jim in the face.
“Set that up would ya?” Within an hour or so the two had made a comfortable
area to reside, the generator waiting to be put into use after dark. Jim would
have preferred the LED candles and was working out a way to tell Harvey so
without sounding, well gay.  They listened to music on Jim’s I pod and Jim lay
on the floor using one of the rolled sleeping bags as a pillow. His knees were
bent and he was content to just be. Harvey sat in a fold away chair drinking
some water and occasionally pushing at Jim’s knees with an extended foot just
to bother him.
 
“Stop it.” Jim would say. “Make me.” Harvey would answer, Jim would curse at
him and shove his leg away. Moments later the process would repeat. That was
until Jim rolled his gaze to Harvey, noticing that the older teen was staring
at him.
 
“Harvey? Do I ever keep you from doing things because I’m younger than you
are?”
 
“Aw Jim, not this again.” Harvey balked. He leaned forward in his chair.
“Listen, a lot of guys my age spend all their time in school, or work and
chasing women; but me? I’m a different breed. I have dinner every Sunday after
church with my parents and family. I have a best friend that, yes; is
significantly younger than me; but that won’t always be the case. By the time
you’re old enough to drink legally or get into clubs, we’re both gonna be into
different things. You’re not a typical guy either. Trust me. You’re a really
good kid Junior, and if you stick with me? You’ll end up in a good job with a
stable home life with a wife and three point five kids; cause two ain’t enough
as far as I see it; maybe even a dog or something. I’ll see you through, I
promise.”
 
Jim pushed himself up onto his elbows as Harvey was speaking and once the older
teen was done he sat up and laced his fingers in front of his shins.  “Why are
you so sure that I won’t head down that drinking road?”
 
“Because it’s not who you are or where you came from. You really are a well-
rounded, nice guy Jim. One of the ones that any mother would want her daughter
to bring home. You’re growing up a little faster than most on account of what
happened to your dad; but still; trust me. I watched my two older brothers grow
up and they were nothing like you and I always thought they were decent folk.
But you? You’re beyond decent. So, don’t think for a second that I’m
sacrificing anything to be with you. Even if I was? It would be so worth it
because you’re a nice person and I love you, brother. I do.”
 
Jim nodded as he digested all the things that Harvey was saying to him. He
searched Harvey’s expression and could only find compassion and acceptance
there.  “I want to tell you something but, I’m not sure how to word it yet.” He
nodded. “It’s something pretty big and, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just over
reacting but, it’s inside of me and I don’t know how to work it out yet without
talking to someone about it. And you’re the only one I can or would talk to
about it.”
 
“Then talk to me when you’re ready. I don’t mind waiting. As long as it’s not
eating you up inside.”
 
“It kinda sorta is.”
 
“Then when you’re calm about it, tell me.”
 
Jim swallowed. “I’m calm now.” He released his shins and his legs fell open
until he was siting cross legged, and he turned to face Harvey directly. “I
have a crush on someone and,” Jim paused and took a deep breath for courage. “I
can’t tell them because, it’s complicated as to why and that’s not the issue.
The real problem is what they are.”
 
Harvey frowned and regarded Jim as the younger teen fell silent and allowed
Harvey to consider what he was saying. “Is this some kind of Transgender
thing?”
 
Jim shook his head stifling an uncomfortable laugh. Leave it to Harvey to pull
something like that out of the ether. “No.”
 
“A teacher/student thing?”
 
Distaste showed upon Jim’s features. “No. It’s not an authority figure. Not
really. It’s, “ Jim paused and took another fortifying breath. “It’s a guy.”
 
Harvey nodded, externally stoic internally bristling with rapid fire questions.
Instead he calmly asked, “Is he the only guy you’ve ever liked? Or are you
noticing all guys in general?”
 
Jim blushed and shook his head. “He’s the only one. That I’ve like, ever felt
that way towards. At first it was just I appreciated what kind of person he is,
but then somewhere along the line it also started to become about what he looks
like.” Jim shrugged and bit his bottom lip before adding, “I don’t feel like
I’m gay, but I think about him when I, you know; masturbate.”
 
“So, the question is what Jim? Are you gay? Or are you in like with this dude?
Give me a hint here. What’s bothering you so much?”
 
“The gay thing. How can I like him if I’m not like that? What does it mean?”
 
“It means that you like a person not a gender, I guess. It means that for some
reason this guy is special to you and none of the others are. Just because you
like someone doesn’t make you change sexualities. You can be straight but still
fall in love with someone that’s a guy. Fact of life. My advice? Quit worrying
about what it means so much and just go with it. Obviously, he’s pretty hot
stuff if you’re hung up on him.”
 
Jim nodded and looked down at his lap, fingers of his right hand picking at the
carpet.  “He’s great. He really is.”
 
“What about him?” Harvey asked abruptly with a little sting to his question.
“Is he gay? Are you going to tell him how you feel? Because you gotta be
careful with things like that. Most people automatically assume whatever they
think is the worst about someone in these situations.”
 
Jim looked aghast. “No, he’s straight; definitely. And,” Jim paused and looked
away once more for a few seconds as he answered. “I don’t think I could ever
tell him.” Jim loathed to lie but he was obligated too if he wanted to conceal
the identity of his crush any longer. “It’s like you said; he’d assume the
worst and I’d lose his friendship. I wouldn’t want to do that.”
 
Harvey ran a hand back through his shoulder length, red hair and nodded. He
rested his elbows upon his knees and stared at the floor for a few seconds.
“Then it’s best you don’t tell him.” He raised his head and met Jim’s gaze.
“I’m sorry Junior. Sometimes you get attached to someone that it’s just not
going to work out with no matter what you both do.” He shrugged. “Them’s the
breaks.”
 
“I’m glad I have you to talk to about this. I was afraid that my head was going
to explode if I thought about it any longer on my own.” He sighed plaintively
and tilted his head to one side. “Thanks, Harvey.”
 
“No problem Jim. Just wish I could have been more help. I’ve never had this
problem you know? Well, I have in a way; but with girls it’s easier because no
one thinks badly of a guy if he likes women.”
 
Jim pulled his lips into his mouth as his heart beat ramped up. “Are you going
to think badly of me now?”
 
“Never!” Harvey scolded knowing it was the truth. “You could be queerer than a
four-dollar bill that came out of a unicorn’s ass and I’d still respect you
like I do right now.” He recognized how tense Jim had become. “Now get that
shit out of your head and relax. You were my best friend before you told me and
you’re still my best friend after. Got it?”
 
“Yeah.” Jim assured nodding and unfolding his legs. He turned back the way he
had been laying before the conversation began. He felt better, more confident
now that Harvey would accept him no matter what his crush meant. However, he
was dead set on not revealing the focus of his affections toward Harvey; they
were like brothers after all. Not by blood but close enough to make them both
uncomfortable should Jim relent and spill his guts completely.  “I got it.”
 
A while later they had eaten dinner and Jim went outside to relieve himself of
the water he had drank, when Harvey noticed his open back pack. Jim had forced
himself to do a little home work while he and Harvey hung out shooting the
breeze; not that he would get much studying done, but he could at least
complete the work sheets he had been assigned.  Harvey pulled out Jim’s
Geography book and smiled recalling a girl he had bedded in his class when he
was in school. It had started as a tutor session and ended in sex. Harvey had
been so proud of himself for that transition and they dated for a while off and
on during the rest of the school year. She had moved to Wellington after
graduation and Harvey wondered how she was doing after all this time.
 
Flipping through the pages he came across a folded piece of paper. Curious he
withdrew it and opened it. Two little crudely drawn robots were shooting flames
and ice to form their names and Harvey smiled. Jim had been doodling in class
when he was supposed to be paying attention. Maybe the kid was more like him
after all; if so, he was going to have to have a talk with Jim for him to reign
in his procrastination type tendencies. They worked fine in Harvey’s world but
not in Jim’s.  As he studied the robots he noticed how their names melded
together with steam and dripping water the J in Jim and the Y in Harvey. It was
cute the way Jim mingled their titles and how the Harvey robot was larger than
the Jim robot. Turning the paper Harvey also noticed that the Harvey robot was
a lot more detailed; more complete somehow than it’s opposite. As if Jim had
taken more time and care with the drawing than he had with his own. It didn’t
look like it was a matter of being rushed on the Jim robot; not at all as the
quality was good, it was just that the Harvey robot was meticulously scaled and
honed.
 
The conversation he had just held with Jim came flooding back to him abruptly.
Jim had a crush on a guy that he had not revealed and said he was the only one
he had ever felt this way about. He stressed that the attachment had been
emotional prior to blossoming into a physical attraction. It wasn’t that Harvey
was very egocentric but he thought about the past several days he had spent
with Jim. How Jim wanted Harvey to sleep over in his bed, how he curled up
against him and looked at him with such adoration. How he constantly texted him
between classes, shown up at the feed store and even asked about his cock. 
Dread filled Harvey turning his veins ice cold. Jim’s crush was him; had to be;
didn’t it?
 
At that moment Jim returned walking through the kitchen into the living room.
“Hey, there’s a dead rose bush a couple of yards from the doors, I used that.”
Even in the dimming light of the room he could see how pale Harvey’s expression
had become. “What’s wrong?”
 
Harvey’s brow furrowed and he shook his head. “Nothing. I just, it’s nothing.
So, what about the doors?”
 
“There’s a dead rose bush near them. That’s where I peed. I thought we could
make it our latrine zone is all.”
 
“Good thinking.” Harvey praised sitting back in the chair. Jim’s expression
fell as he pointed to the open book in Harvey’s lap.
 
“Did you go in my back pack for that?”
 
“Uh, yeah. Sorry. I was just bored.” He closed the book and stuffed it back
inside the bag, before holding up the piece of folded notebook paper. “I found
this though. Robots. Cool.”
 
Jim blushed. “Yeah? I was just doodling, fooling around. I was trying to make
them like Transformers but I couldn’t decide what they should turn into. I just
know that one’s hot the other is cold.”
 
Harvey had previously titled Jim’s crush as being ‘hot’ and Jim had readily
agreed. While he hoped he was wrong about the receiver of Jim’s affections he
knew he couldn’t be mistaken either. “Cute.” He repeated still holding the
folded piece of paper. “Can I have it?”
 
Jim lit up like fourth of July fireworks in the night sky. “Sure! If you want
it.” Jim shrugged trying and failing to appear nonchalant. “It was just a
doodle.”
 
“Well thanks.” Harvey said and folded the paper into fourths and tucked it
inside of his flannel shirt pocket. For several seconds, the two enjoyed the
silence between them then began to debate sports, Harvey choosing that as safe
subject matter to concentrate on.  Within an hour the boys were facing one
another on the floor, drinking a soda each and playing cards. There was a lull
in the conversation and Harvey had been thinking non-stop about the possibility
that he was Jim’s crush. Jim on the other hand was so relieved he had gotten
the secret off his chest, even if it wasn’t fully. Harvey had helped him just
like he always did. He felt more confident about the situation and more
importantly himself and his ability to handle it.
 
When you were in love with someone you just loved them, not an entire gender.
In this knowledge Jim was now free and it felt phenomenal. That was until
Harvey cleared his throat and discarded two cards and said, “I figured out who
your crush is.” His gaze raised to Jim’s terrified blue ones.  “At first I
thought it was just some kid at school that you know. Some fucking nobody. But
then I found the drawing and I just knew.”
 
Jim looked down wondering if he was going to vomit, what the hell to say in his
own defense but the instant he looked at Harvey’s nonthreatening green eyes all
he said was, “I’m sorry.”
 
Harvey leaned forward and pat Jim’s knee. He was sitting with his legs extended
before him crossed at the ankle while Jim was once more sitting cross legged.
“Don’t apologize for caring about someone.” He smiled and squeezed Jim’s knee
once before sitting back. “I don’t mind it.”
 
Jim’s throat seized. Harvey didn’t mind that he was in love with him?  His
anger began to rankle his shame. “ He didn’t mind? Mind?? Jim threw his cards
down and pushed himself up to stand in one fluid motion. “I need some air.” Jim
growled bolting from the room as fast as he could and still maintain a walking
pace. He exited through the sliding glass door and hurried over to the truck
and ducked behind the tail gate, eyes blinded with tears and chest heaving in
pain. He was shaking all over and couldn’t recall feeling so rattled and out of
control since the day his father’s death was announced on the evening news.
Like it was just another story; and Jim was just another boy that didn’t matter
either. Now it was Harvey’s turn to make him feel small, like he didn’t matter.
Jim was on his knees and clutched the grass with one hand, his chest with the
other. The sun had just about set behind the horizon but there was still a
little light left in the colored sky and Jim didn’t care. He wiped tears from
his face with an angry swipe of his forearm and choked on a few breaths.
 
He wanted to die.
 
Harvey had watched Jim blast past him. He wiped a hand down his face and cursed
himself softly. He had seen the anger in Jim’s eyes; and while he didn’t
understand it; he knew Jim’s body language well enough to keep his distance for
now. He rose from the floor and paced a little as he waited for Jim to return.
After ten minutes when he was still alone the pit of his stomach began to churn
with worry. He was responsible for Jim’s safety hated or not, so he gave the
teen five more minutes before walking outside. The sky was dark, the first
stars already shinning. He called to Jim and received no answer.
 
Jim cringed at the sound of his name and squeezed his eyes shut, silently
willing Harvey to go away.
 
Harvey moved into the yard and returned into the house to retrieve a
flashlight. Turning it on he shown the beam around and saw Jim’s legs
underneath the truck. He walked to the side of the vehicle and stopped. Was
that sniffing he heard? From tears? Harvey felt horrible and shut off the
flashlight.
 
“Why are you crying?”
 
“You don’t understand.” Jim gasped, managing to exhale each world and gulp in
air between them. “Just, go, away.”
 
Harvey walked over toward the back of the truck bed and stopped just shy of the
tail gate. He placed the flashlight in the bed of the truck and turned his back
to the metal to lean against it. He shoved his hands into the front pockets of
his jeans and wondered briefly if Jim was cold just wearing a tee shirt as he
was.  “No, I don’t. You got me there. But I want to figure it out. With your
help, I’ll be able too.”
 
Jim pressed his head against the bottom of the tail gate and held his breath
hoping to smother the sob lodged in his throat. “I can’t.” Jim whispered, but
Harvey heard him. “Just leave me alone. Please.”
 
“Can’t do that Jimboy. You know I’m responsible for you.”
 
“No!” Jim yelled eyes snapping open and he looked back over his shoulder in
Harvey’s direction. “You’re not responsible for me. You’re just a friend, not
my family, and you sure as hell aren’t my father. So just FUCK OFF!” The words
hurt him to say, just like he knew it would be a punch to the heart for Harvey
to hear. He closed his eyes once more and the sob he was holding released.
 
Harvey took the abuse and pivoted to face Jim’s direction. He withdrew his
hands from his pockets and walked around the end of the truck. He squatted down
alongside of Jim and reached out and touched the younger teens back. “Can’t do
that, Jim.” He informed tenderly. “You know I can’t.”
 
“I didn’t mean it.” Jim breathed choking on his tears. He looked at Harvey.
“I’m so sorry!”
 
“It’s okay. I know.” Harvey informed him gently pulling Jim to his chest and
between his legs. Jim clung to him, his scent and touching Harvey mad Jim’s
breath catch and tears in crease.  “It’s all right Jim. I’m sorry too. Please
don’t cry.”
 
“You know I can’t.” Jim parroted as he dissolved into a sobbing mass of tears
and pain. He clung to Harvey and the older teen merely held him and said
nothing as he offered him silent comfort. And just what could Harvey say
anyway? ‘Thank you for loving me but I don’t feel the same?’, ‘Gee whiz kid,
why do you gotta pull this shit with me?’, ‘It’s only a crush and will soon
pass?’. There was nothing for Harvey to say so he remained silent and merely
held Jim tight; just like he had the day Jim had lost his father.
 
It took another half hour of crying until Jim stuttered to a stop. Harvey
helped him stand and kept a protective arm around him as he led him back into
the house. Once inside he sat Jim in the chair and handed him a water and some
napkins to wipe his face.  Jim only offered a raspy ‘Thanks’ and would not meet
Harvey’s gaze with his own. Harvey unfolded a second chair and placed it in
front of Jim. He had started the generator while Jim was outside and the string
of white lights showed gold on their skin.
 
“Can we just forget I ever said anything?” Jim pleaded softly.
 
“If that’s what you want. Then yes, we can.”
 
Jim reached out with a hand and Harvey clasped it in one of his own. Their eyes
finally met and Jim nodded. “Thank you.”
 
“I got your back, brother. Always will.”
 
Jim knew that Harvey was telling the truth, just like he always did.
~~~~~~~~~~
year 2019
Gotham City, Illinois: population 1,301
Graduation. Jim had been looking forward to it for two years. He had gotten his
wish and was graduating early from high school. He would take a year off and
work to save up for incidentals that his college scholarships didn’t cover.
What he was really excited about was that Harvey was coming home. The twenty-
one-year-old had been in Wellington the past six weeks training to become a
Sheriff’s Department Deputy and his plan was to return to Gotham once he
graduated. During his training, Jim barely saw him and talked to him
infrequently, but he had promised to return home for Jim’s graduation and Jim
was starving for it.
 
Harvey was just as excited about Jim’s accomplishment of early graduation as he
was his own of joining the Sheriff’s department. He had missed Jim, too damn
much; as he was fond of saying in texts to the younger male. He had always
known how brilliant his best friend was but the thought of him going away to
college with nearly a free ride was quite the accomplishment.  He was proud of
Jim; his brother, his best friend, in many ways his son. However, there was one
thing that he had not told Jim for over a year. He had neglected to admit that
his feelings for the blond haired, blue eyed kid had shifted from familial to
romantic.
 
When Jim was fourteen he had declared his affection for Harvey and now, two
years later he could return the favor. The only issues that Harvey could see
were that it was more than possible that Jim no longer felt the same way he
did, and that the legal age of consent for the state of Illinois was seventeen.
Jim was still several months away from his birthday but Harvey couldn’t wait
any longer to take the risk and explain his feelings. Upon arriving home, he
was informed that Jim was dating a Wellington girl named Barbara Kean. Her
father was a land developer considering some property in Gotham and had brought
her with him while he ran surveys and ecological tests. She had met Jim in
school and even though she was just a year older the two were in senior classes
together and were both graduating.
 
Harvey had been devastated by the news, but at the very least he had heard it
from one of his younger sisters and not been blindsided by it upon approaching
Jim. Harvey was well versed in schooling his emotions and relied upon his
genuine pleasure at seeing Jim again after such a long absence. The two
embraced like long lost kin and Harvey peppered Jim’s cheeks with kisses, while
Jim hand him in a bone crushing bear hug. Neither one wanted to let go of the
other, yet for proprieties sake managed too. Barbara’s father took Jim, Harvey,
Mary Gordon and his daughter out to an expensive restaurant to have dinner in
Wellington to celebrate. Harvey watched as the man fawned over his brilliant,
beautiful daughter but pointedly was leery of Jim as a suitable beau. Harvey
wanted to punch him in his pompous face, but had to silently agree that Jim
would be far better off without Barbra in his life.  Mary Gordon seemed quite
happy with the wine choice and began flirting shamelessly with her son’s,
girlfriend’s, father. She was another person Harvey wanted to set straight. He
caught the hurt in Jim’s eyes and reached under the table and rested a hand
upon Jim’s leg. Their eyes met and Jim placed his hand over Harvey’s. Holding
one another tightly Jim smiled gratefully and held Harvey’s hand perhaps a
little too long following that exchange before letting go.
 
By the time dessert and coffee rolled around Barbara was cuddled up to Jim
wanting to leave the restaurant to be alone with him, while Harvey was so ready
to punch Mary and Barbara’s father in their smug, flirty faces that he could
barely contain his anger. He abruptly acted and interrupted Barbra’s
conversation with Jim and offered to take Jim to their old haunts and Jim
readily understood that Harvey was referring to their house. He grinned and
thankfully agreed, leaving Barbara to celebrate the rest of the evening with
her father and Mary Gordon.  Jim was excited, bubbling over and Harvey loved to
see him smiling and know that he was a part of the reason why he was so happy.
 
They climbed into Harvey’s old truck and it didn’t take them long to reach the
outskirts of Wellington. Jim explained that while he still used the house on
occasion since Harvey had stopped going there with him around twenty-one, it
was not the same without Harvey. Harvey beamed hearing this and reached out to
put an arm temporarily around Jim and give him a hug, Jim leaned towards him
and the two parted, Harvey turned up the radio and they drove around the
neighborhood looking at how most of the houses had deteriorated over the past
two years. They pulled into the back yard as they always had and Jim was first
out of the truck.
 
The slider doors had long ago been broken and replaced by ply wood, which was
easy to move and gain entrance to the kitchen. “I remember the first time we
found this place.” Harvey informed helping Jim replace the window board. Each
of them held a flashlight and moved to the living room in tandem.
 
“I knew you’d break the damn window.”
 
“You were on my ass like a bad rash. It would have been just fine if you had
ever learned to chill.” Harvey shook his head. “I thought I had taught you
better than that Jimboy.”
 
“Well now you’ve been gone for six weeks. I barely survived without you.”
 
“I only left because it was necessary.”
 
“I know.” Jim allowed softly. They moved to stand in the living room. “So now
what?”
 
“Does that old generator still work?” Harvey asked motioning to it.
 
Jim shook his head. “Out of gas. And of course, no one ever brings any for it.”
He shrugged and moved to switch on a few LED candles on the mantel. “Besides,
these give the room much more ambiance.”
 
Harvey laughed at the irony of their presence and shook his head. “Goddamn, I
feel so old.” He informed, voice soft and eyes sparkling.
 
“You’re not.” Jim assured him moving to stand directly before him. He turned
off his flashlight and placed it upon the mantel. He took the other flashlight
from Harvey and did the same. Sorrow flooded Jim’s expression. “What are we
going to do, Harvey?”
 
“About what?”
 
“About the fact that I’m going to college next year and we’ll be apart again.
You’re going to be here as acting Sheriff.”
 
Harvey frowned. “I’ll be only one of a few deputies Jim. Not the department
head.”
 
“You don’t know that.” Jim stated determinedly. “A lot could happen in a year.
You’re a smart man Harvey; and you’re going to make a fantastic cop. Gotham
will always be in good hands as long as they’re yours.” He gave a slight shrug
and reached out with a hand to gently brush it against one of Harvey’s. “I
speak from experience.”
 
“Yeah you do, Junior.” Harvey cleared his throat and dropped his gaze to the
floor and shifted upon his feet a little. “I need to talk to you about
something serious.”
 
Jim’s brow furrowed. “We already are. I’m asking you what we’re going to do.”
 
“What we always do. Talk to each other every chance we get. Phone calls; texts;
E-mails. Just because you’ll be in California doesn’t mean that we’re going to
stop being best friends or brothers.”
 
“It’s not enough.” Jim decided aloud.
 
“Well, it’s gonna have to be. I’m here and you’ll be in school. You can’t not
go.”
 
Jim bit his bottom lip. “California has a Sheriff’s Department you know.”
 
Sorrow tinged Harvey’s features. “You just finished telling me how Gotham is
going to be in my capable hands and now you want me to leave?”
 
Jim groaned and wiped a hand down his mouth and off his chin before cursing.
“It’s not fair.”
 
“Yeah.” Harvey agreed tenderly. “I know.” He regarded Jim for a few seconds and
then said, “Now, about what I need us to talk about?”
 
“Something serious?” Jim reiterated reluctantly.
 
“Yeah.” Harvey paused for a beat and then held Jim’s gaze with his own. “I
don’t have any expectation past what I wish would happen; but I want you to
know that whatever does come of it; or not; that we’re always going to be
brothers.”
 
Dread seized Jim once more. “You’re scarring me Harvey.”
 
“There’s no reason for you to be scared.” While he said this to Jim for Harvey
it was another story altogether. “Jim? I, I’m in love with you. I have been for
the past year but was going to wait to tell you until you were seventeen. I
think you know why. But seeing you today with Barbara, I couldn’t wait. I’m
sorry. I know it’s a shitty thing to do to you; but I love you.”
 
For a split-second Jim stared at Harvey before pulling his right fist back and
letting it fly. Harvey stumbled a little at the impact of the fist upon his
left cheek.  “You fucking ASSHOLE!” Jim roared defiantly. He shoved Harvey back
another step from him.  “Two years ago! Two! You break my heart and now you
come here and tell me that you’re in love with me?” Jim ground out another
spate of fury and spat, “Fuck you, asshole! Fuck. You!” Jim turned away unable
to look at Harvey anymore. He cleared the mantel with one sweep of his right
arm and he kicked over a folding chair, the metal clattering to the floor.
 
“I’m fucking SORRY!” Harvey yelled back and when Jim rounded on him Harvey held
up his hands to warn him off. Jim had grown two inches taller and filled out
since he was fourteen-years-old and the proof was in his right hook. “I
couldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear then when I didn’t feel it. But now I
do. I know you’ve moved on; obviously because of Barbra; but- “
 
“She’s not you!” Jim shouted bitterly. “All I ever wanted was you, Harvey.
You’re all that I think about or need. Don’t you fucking understand that?”
 
Harvey gaped at Jim for several seconds as Jim panted in anger and pain, while
Harvey’s breath came fast from shock. “Dump her.” He stated confidence
returning immediately.
 
Jim nodded. “She’s gone.”
 
“Good.” Harvey took a few steps towards Jim, “Now C’mere and let me kiss you.”
Jim was before him in an instant and the two embraced, mouths colliding and
each male attempting to dominate the kiss. Finally, Jim’s raging emotions
surrendered and Harvey drove the kiss to new heights. By the time it severed
they were both breathless and clinging to one another. “Jesus, Jim. How’d you
learn to kiss like that?”
 
“Watching you.” Jim informed holding Harvey’s gaze. “Being in love with you.
Nowhere else.”  Harvey kissed him once more. When they broke to breathe Jim was
running one hand over Harvey’s chest, the opposite was tangled in his hair. 
“And college?”
 
“You’re going and California is going to get another Sheriff’s Deputy.” Jim’s
grin lit up the entire room and Harvey kissed him knowing that what he had just
said was the best plan of attack. Gotham would have to do without him for four
years at least; there was no way he would be ever able to let go of Jim now
that he had him.
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