Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/4729805.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Fall_Out_Boy
  Relationship:
      Patrick_Stump/Pete_Wentz, Peterick_-_Relationship
  Character:
      Patrick_Stump, Pete_Wentz, Kevin_Stumph, Andy_Hurley_(Mentioned), Joe
      Trohman_(Mentioned)
  Additional Tags:
      Underage_-_Freeform, Crack, Crack_Fic, Implied_Virginity_Loss, But
      Patrick_Knows_What_He's_Doing, Probably_From_Porn_And_Stuff, Podfic
      Welcome, Smut, Swallowing, blowjob
  Series:
      Part 1 of The_Unidick_Series
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-09-05 Words: 1727
****** The UniDick Fic (Crack!) ******
by AmeeLynnRyden
Summary
     Patrick was born with a dick on his forehead; (like a horn on a
     unicorn but a dick) this is why he wears hats.
Notes
     A special thank you to my good friend weed for the inspiration for
     this, also, all kudos/comments are greatly appreciated!
He still remembers realizing just what it was that made him so much different
than the other boys, he asked his mother one day when he was 6, "It's perfectly
normal." She'd always say to make him feel better about it, even though she
always made him wear hats, no matter how hot it was outside, it was a curse.
Then one day around the age of 11 he was watching an innocent clip of Thumper
and Bambi on his moms laptop, then all of a sudden an ad came up for
testosterone booster, showing a buff tan tattooed dude with an obvious hard on
through the only clothing he was wearing, a purple thong, he gulped, then
noticed the growth on his head not really moving, but more expanding than
anything, just so solid and so there just making its presence known to the
world, which unfortunately included Patrick.
He couldn't explain just how he felt in that moment, so he closed the laptop
and ran upstairs to his older brother's room, Kevin's older, he'll know how to
fix this he thinks, mostly trying to reassure himself that he was okay.
He knocks at the door, and Kevin opened it, blinking at him sleepily, "Patrick?
What's going on?" He asks looking confused, until a look of realization comes
across his face when Patrick looked to the floor and pointed at his hat covered
head.
"You don't know what it is?" Patrick shakes his head as it hangs, "Sort of, I
know I have two of them, and I pee from one of them, that's all I know" he
mumbles and closes his eyes hoping to wake up from the nightmare before Kevin
pulls him into his room and closes the door behind them, pulling out a book.
"Well.." Kevin says "It looks like you're starting to go through puberty, which
sucks yeah, but you benefit a lot from it when you get older, trust me, now, I
got this book when I started going through puberty, and it helped me a lot, so
I'm gonna give it to you."
Patrick flipped through it quickly, "It doesn't look like there's anything
like.." He points to his head, "In it, why not? Mom always said it's normal.."
"Well, um, no doctor we've seen has ever been able to figure out why you have
it, or how even, it's never been heard of before.." Patrick teared up, hurt
that his parents would lie to him, And ran into his room, locking the door and
curling around a pillow, ignoring Kevin knocking and crying himself to sleep.
___ 6 Years Later ___
At 17, Patrick is pretty used to the extra limb, although he's never used it
for pleasuring purposes, not sure if he would even if he knew if it would work
for that or not, maybe he just doesn't wanna know, then he meets Pete, and
joins a band with Pete, and starts dating Pete, and then one day during making
out on Pete's bed, He asks why Patrick never takes off his hat, he lies about a
slightly balding spot, not entirely a lie he thinks to himself.
Pete doesn't ask again, a few weeks later, they were making out in the van
after a show while Joe and Andy were packing up the stage equipment, (it was
their turn this time) and Pete accidentally knocks off Patrick's hat, gasping
loudly when he sees the flesh coming out of his boyfriends forehead, and does a
double take.
"Is, is that?" Pete asks and points to the erection, Patrick doesn't even know
his hat is gone until he reaches up and touches his head, and he tears up,
upset at himself for letting someone find out so goddamn easily, especially
Pete of all people, it had to be someone important to him that he foresaw an
actual future with, he pulls his hat back on and yanks it over his ears, crying
as he climbs out of the van, running down the street to get home as fast as he
can.
He doesn't talk to Pete for a week, doesn't even show up to practice, barely
lets himself show up for the next show, still flustered with humiliation and
the fear that Pete won't want him anymore, still surprised that Pete wanted him
to begin with, Pete squeals when he sees Patrick, running over to kiss him and
squish him with a hug that's more like a death grip, whispering in his ear "I
still love you 'Trickster.." Which makes Patrick smile and think This could
actually be okay..
The show after is the best show they've ever played, and they finally name the
band with help from someone in the audience, and Pete makes out with Patrick in
the backseat of the van after dropping Andy and Joe off, parked facing the
sunset over Lake Michigan, not that they can see it from the backseat anyways,
not that Patrick's complaining, he's surprised when Pete carefully slips his
hand under the hat, grabbing onto the growth and stroking softly as he kisses
down Patrick's jaw.
Patrick moans and slides his hands down Pete's body until he can firmly grip
Pete's ass in both hands, running one finger down the cleft and smirks at the
needy sound the older makes, Pete asks tentatively, "You.. You have a dick in
your pants right..?" "Yes asshole!" He laughs and holds Pete closer, then the
older says, "Want you to fuck me.. And my mouth..." "What?" "Like a 69 but with
both your dicks in both my holes, and you could suck me off too if we bend
enough..." Patrick whines and nods before Pete slowly pulls Patrick's jeans off
and mouths at him through his boxers, making the younger whine and pull at his
hair.
"You're teasing!" Patrick groans and pulls off Pete's shirt, leaning down to
suck at his nipple ring. "Who's the fucking tease now?" Pete smirked and ripped
off his pants, (He wasn't wearing underwear) as Patrick shyly peeled off his
shirt, Pete grabbed at the hem of the hat and waited a minute for Patrick to
nod his permission before taking it off. (Sure he had seen it once before but
that wasn't on purpose, anyways)
Pete looked over Patrick's body, biting his lip at the beauty that is Patrick
Stumph, Patrick flushed and the blush crept its way down his frame until his
whole body was a pale pink, "What are you looking at?" "My beautiful
boyfriend.. I'm almost afraid to touch you now, cause you're like porcelain and
I think you'd crack if I touched you.. I want you to stay perfect.."
Patrick turned a darker shade of pink and pulled Pete back on top of him,
kissing him like his life depended on it before breaking it abruptly to say
"I'm not perfect, or beautiful by any means, but that was the cheesiest shit
I've ever heard, and I loved every word.. I'm gonna put that in a song someday,
just you watch." "You'd better, that was some good shit!"
Patrick kissed Pete to shut him up, whining when Pete stroked the sensitive
length on his head, and Pete reached around under the bench seat for the lube
Joe always keeps in the van, kissing at the youngers neck as he slips the tube
into Patrick's clammy hands.
"Pete?" "Yeah?" "I, um, are you sure you want to with a freak like me?" That
made Pete pull off and look Patrick deep in the eyes, "You're not a freak,
you're a human being, you've just got a little more to love than other guys.."
That statement made Patrick smile and flip them over, coating his fingers in
lube generously before slipping a slick finger into Pete, spreading him open
and smirking at the whines he gets in response.
After he slips a second in and starts scissoring them, Pete makes him stop and
pulls him up to kiss him, "I'm so ready for you, baby.." "You sure?" He asks as
he thrusts his fingers to rub against Pete's prostate, making the older moan
and gasp, "Ye-yes!" "Okay, so, um.." He pulls out his fingers and lubes up the
length between his legs and moves to slowly slide into Pete, swearing under his
breath at the tightwethot around him.
Pete throws his head back and moans before slowly sucking Patrick's other
length into his mouth, taking him in fully and Patrick whines, shaking as his
body feels overworked already, his brain on pleasure overload as he shallowly
thrusts into Pete, moving his head to make Pete pull off.
"So.. 'Tricky bear?" "Hmm?" "Can you, um, cum from it?" "What?" "You heard me."
"Um, I don't know, I never really did anything with it, especially not enough
to figure out if it can cum or not, but I feel like I can.." He whines and
thrusts firmer, more confident, as Pete swallows the cock down again, bobbing
his head and swirling his tongue, until just moments later when Patrick
stiffened, cumming deep into Pete's ass, and into his mouth simultaneously,
groaning when he watches him swallow it all, before pulling out and going down
himself.
Patrick made sure to make a show of it, slowly trailing his tongue down Pete's
chest, in a pattern to trace the bartskull, (earning an encouraging gasp) and
finally to the base of Pete's dick, teasing around it with his tongue, "Come
on!" Pete whines impatiently, making Patrick chuckle before licking his lips
and going down.
He only takes him halfway before he starts to choke, looking up at Pete with
watery lust-and-innocence filled eyes as he bobs his head and reaches down to
slip two fingers back inside him, slowly working the cum out as he twists his
fingers, and hesitantly working his way down to take all of Pete's manhood in
his throat.
Which just so happens to be enough for Pete, him pulling at Patrick's hair as a
warning but he stays put, keeping up his pace until Pete fills his mouth with
cum, choking at the bitterness of it until he swallows, grimacing at the taste
while Pete laughs, holding him closely and tracing random patterns on Patrick's
arms as they cuddle, before leaning in and whispering in Patrick's ear "I'm so
riding your face next time.."
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