Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/10052126.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Harry_Potter/Severus_Snape
  Additional Tags:
      Explicit_Language, Slash_sex, Sexual_Content, Humor, Parody
  Collections:
      HPFandom
  Stats:
      Published: 2007-06-25 Words: 521
****** The Tale of Potter and Snape, in Limericks ******
by gingertart [archived by HPFandom_archivist]
Summary
     The title says it all, really....
Notes
     Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally
     archived at HP_Fandom, which was closed for health and financial
     reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its
     works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I
     e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but
     may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator,
     please contact me using the e-mail address on HP_Fandom_collection
     profile.
On night-duty, Professor Snape
Heard a student and really went ape
Armed with magic and snark
He caught, in the dark,
An invisibility cape.
“What is this?” screamed Snape, in a snit,
“Shit, Harry,” cried Ron, “It’s the git!”
Young Weasley then fled
And hid in his bed,
But Potters don’t easily quit.
Our hero said “I can explain – “
Yelled Snape “I know this refrain!
We’ll go to the Head
But he’ll send you to bed
Free to do it all over again!”
“I suffer your cheek in my class,
The whole situation’s a farce,
What am I to do?
To reprimand you?
I really should wallop your arse!”
Young Harry went flustered and pink,
“Professor, it’s not what you think,
I know I’ve been dim –
We crept out for a swim
But I’m too hot to sleep a damn wink.”
Prof Snape looked down, with a gasp,
Then said – his voice a mere rasp –
“But you’re almost nude!
The situation’s not good!
Quite frankly, it’s beyond my grasp!”
Young Harry then rolled up his eyes,
“As if I could go out in disguise!
A friend of your Draco’s
Hexed my pants and my Speedos,
All to be just a bit under-size.”
Snape started to pace and to loom,
“Detention! At once! In my room!
Your state of undress
Is causing me stress
And don’t think you’ll escape on your broom!”
Surreptitiously licking his lips,
Unconsciously shifting his hips,
Said Snape, “It’s a joke,
God I need a smoke –
I mean, Potter, you’ve now had your chips!”
Harry nervously stifled a snigger,
And thought to himself, “Now go figure,
I think our Snape’s gay,
If you look at the way
That the front of his robe’s getting – bigger.”
To the dungeons, all dripping and drear
Through the dark, the Prof did then steer
Though it seemed to young Potter
He started to totter
As if he had had too much beer.
As Snape waved his wand for some light,
Thought Harry, “He’s sweaty and white,
I think that’s a clue
He feels like I do,
Boy, these underpants really are tight!”
Then Snape turned to him and he roared
“Do you not understand, the Dark Lord
Could have snatched you tonight,
In one single bite?
Oh sod, I’m as stiff as a board!”
Then Snape went all flustered and red
“Potter, forget what I said!”
But seeing the Slytherin
Near enough dithering
Made Harry start using his head.
“Professor,” he said with a leer,
“It really is perfectly clear,”
In a Parseltongue hiss,
“If you really want thisssss,
Ssssstrip naked and come over here.”
As if suddenly under a spell,
A compulsion he couldn’t quite quell,
Snape shucked off his kit
And looking quite fit,
Began kissing exceedingly well.
Dumbledore sat back with a sigh,
Minerva said “Really? Oh my!
You were not in error,
By the view in your mirror,
Our boys will be fine, by and by!”
There we leave them, I’m sorry to say,
Cheerful enough, in their way,
Though the pair of old pervs
Might well get on their nerves,
Snape and Harry are happy and gay!
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