Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/807775.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Sirius_Black/Remus_Lupin
  Character:
      Remus_Lupin, Sirius_Black
  Additional Tags:
      Male_Homosexuality, Bigotry_&_Prejudice, Werewolf_Biology, Werewolf
      Mates, Werewolf_Culture, Gay_Sex, Same-Sex_Marriage, Catholic, probably
      forgot_some_stuff, remus_is_alpha, sirius_is_sweet, Anal_Sex, Loss_of
      Virginity, Blow_Jobs, 69_(Sex_Position), Child_Abuse, Minor_Violence,
      Sirius_Lives, Families_of_Choice, Coming_of_Age, betrothal, Arranged
      Marriage, Marriage_Proposal, Dysfunctional_Family, Family_Drama
  Series:
      Part 1 of Wave_a_Magic_Wand
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-05-18 Updated: 2014-11-08 Chapters: 2/? Words: 74855
****** The Shamrock ******
by AvengingAngel
Summary
     Remus and Sirius from the beginning. Prequel to Salvation, my other
     fic
***** Chapter 1 *****
Seventeen year old John Andrew Lupin was a simple man. He had very few desires
for his life. Finding a pretty girl, settling down, having children. Simple
things. Normal things. Things he expected to happen years from now.
He had a good job as a mechanics apprentice, and he was due to be promoted to
an actual mechanic any day now. He had a nice three bedroom house, something
none of his mates had yet. His parents had left it to him when they had died in
a car accident when he was fifteen. All he needed was to find a wife and fill
it with beautiful babies.
He never expected to find her one lazy Sunday afternoon in August.
“We’re going to get caught!”
“No we’re not. Come on, Annie, stop being such a fraidy cat!”
“I am not! I just don’t want to get into trouble.”
John looked up to see the prettiest girl he had ever seen being dragged into
The Shamrock pub by three other girls. He barely noticed the giggly ones doing
the dragging. But the one the other girl had called Annie, he couldn’t take his
eyes off of that one.
She was about 5’5”, wavy brown hair, and the brightest amber eyes. She smiled
through her protests, and when one of the girls said something to make her
laugh, John couldn’t breathe.
“What can I get you lovely ladies this fine afternoon?” asked Big Jim, the
bartender.
He was so called Big Jim because he was wider than he was tall. He hailed from
County Kerry, Ireland, and had moved to London when he was twenty one. He’d
owned The Shamrock for five years, paid for by money from a spinster aunt. It
was a nice pub. Good atmosphere. Big Jim made everyone feel like family, and,
if you drank in The Shamrock every evening, like John did, you were family.
John gulped down the last of his pint and made his way over to the bar, amidst
jeers from his mates.
“Just an orange juice, please,” Anne said.
“One orange juice. And for you ladies?” Big Jim asked.
“We’ll take pints, please.”
“I’ll pay for these, and I’ll take another pint, Jim.”
Anne spun around to find a boy standing behind her. He was quite tall, brown
hair and eyes, and his nails were stained black. He was smiling at her and her
friends. It was Mary, the redhead. She’d be the one he was after. Or it might
be Joan, with her big blue eyes. Of course, it would be Alice, the one with the
legs. Anne was used to her three friends getting the blokes. No bloke wanted
the short one, the one with odd eyes and boring hair.
“I’m John Lupin, and I am very pleased to make the acquaintance of four lovely
ladies,” he said and Joan practically melted.
He had a cockney accent. Anne had never met anyone who talked like that before.
It was quite nice really.
“Hello, John. I’m Alice, and this is Joan, Mary and Anne. Thank you for the
drinks.”
“My pleasure,” he said as he shook each of their hands. “What brings you all
the way to this neck of the woods? You’re not from around here. I would have
noticed creatures as beautiful as you.”
Alice giggled and Anne rolled her eyes. It was a silly thing to laugh at, just
a corny line.
“Annie’s come home for the holidays from boarding school and we want to show
her the art of living before she goes back,” Joan said.
“And how are you finding it, Miss Anne?”
Why was he talking to her? Why bother? It was obvious she wasn’t going to be
the one copping off with him, so why make the effort?
“Well, I’m sure this is not what my guardians had in mind when they said I
could go out with my friends,” she said and he laughed.
“No, I’m sure it wasn’t. Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of you, make sure
you don’t end up in too much trouble,” he said as he paid for the drinks.
The four girls ended up spending the evening with John and his mates, who were
a polite, if rowdy, bunch. There was Chris, who was sixteen and worked in his
fathers fish and chip shop. He made a beeline for Mary. Then there was Joe, the
seventeen year old mechanic’s apprentice like John, who set his sights firmly
on Joan. And there was Mike, the carpenter and the only one over eighteen. He
took a fancy to Alice.
Anne slipped outside to indulge in a cigarette without her friends making a big
deal out of it. Her foster parents hated her smoking, and she had to hang out
of the dorm room window to smoke at school, but she was miles from home, all
the way on the other side of London. Who was going to stop her now? She fully
intended to quit, but today was not that day.
“Bad for your health.”
She inhaled half of her cigarette in shock as the voice spoke. She looked up to
find John smiling down at her.
“So they say. It’ll stunt my growth, right?”
He laughed. “Maybe. Mind if I bum one?” She held out the packet and he took
one, lighting up. “So, you go to boarding school?”
“Yes. It’s a school for the gifted. For kids with special skills.”
That smile was making her nervous. No bloke ever smiled at her like that. She
just wasn’t the one they wanted.
“Is it your beautiful eyes that are your special skill?”
Hang on. Did he just call her eyes beautiful? That couldn’t be right. He had to
be pissed. But wait, he couldn’t be. He had been on orange juice after his
first pint, and they had been sitting together all evening, she knew for a fact
that he was sober.
“I’m sorry, but if this is some ploy to get to one of my friends, let me say
that you’re wasting your time. They’ll go out with you, any one of them, if you
just ask them,” she said firmly.
“I’m not using you to get to your friends.”
“Oh, I get it. One of them asked you to make me feel special by flirting with
me, is that it?”
“Nope.”
“Then what is your game, Mr Lupin?”
He smiled at her. “I was just wondering if you would go out with me.”
Her jaw dropped. “Me?”
“Yes, you. You see, I’m very picky. I want the prettiest girl. And you, Miss
Graham, are the prettiest girl I have ever met,” he said honestly. “I’m not
like Chris, who wants the redheads because he thinks they’re exciting. And I’m
not like Joe, who likes blue eyes. And I’m not like Mike, who’s a leg man.”
“So what are you like?”
“I want the girl I can actually have a conversation with. No offence to your
friends, they’re nice enough, but I’d like conversation on something other than
hair styles,” he said and she sniggered. “I want a woman with class, and you
seem to have it in spades.”
She smiled at him, measuring him up. His brown eyes were honest, and he didn’t
seem to be making fun of her.
“Well, in that case, you’ll have to wait,” she said.
“Wait?”
“Yes. You see, I still have two more years at boarding school, which takes me
way for the better part of the year. I will go out with you, if you wait for
me,” she bargained. If he was serious, he would wait.
“Can I write to you at this school?”
Ah, a slight problem there. He was a muggle, that much she knew. She wanted him
to write to her, if he was serious. But how would he get the letters to her?
“Have you ever sent a letter by owl?”
He laughed. “By owl? You mean the nocturnal bird of prey?”
“Yes.”
“No, can’t say I’ve ever sent a letter that way.”
“My school is a little…different. We send letters by owls. I have one. If you
give me your address, I’ll send you a letter, and you can give my owl the one
to bring back to me,” she said.
She had to be having him on. Owl? Send a letter by owl? But she seemed to be
genuine, and she’d given him no reason not to trust her. Plus, if it was some
way to get rid of him, he had to give her points for originality.
“All right,” he said. He pulled out a notebook and jotted down his address,
passing her the scrap of paper. She tucked it into her pocket without even
looking at it. “How old are you?”
“Sixteen.”
“Sweet sixteen. And when do you go back to school?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Well, I look forwards to meeting this owl of yours,” he said, raising her hand
and kissing it, making her blush.
Any further conversation between them was cut off by the three other girls
pouring from the pub, claiming that they had to get Anne home if she had any
hope of making the train tomorrow.
John watched as the four girls disappeared down the street, Anne turning her
head to glance at him one last time before she vanished around the corner.
“You are hooked.”
He turned to find Mike leaning against the door, staring at him.
“No, I’m not,” John argued.
“Right, right…so what’s that look for?”
“What look?”
“The one that says you were just touched by an angel.”
John smiled. “Maybe I was.”
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
John walked into The Shamrock to find Anne waiting at the bar for him. He would
have been there earlier, if he hadn’t ended work covered in engine oil. He had
been forced to run home and take a bath. He didn’t want her to see him covered
in oil, it was not a good look for a first date.
Two years of letter writing, they were well overdue for their first date.
When her owl had first arrived, he had laughed himself hoarse. He hadn’t
actually believed her when she had told him about Merlin the owl. But the
beautiful brown bird had arrived a week after their first meeting. It had just
swooped out of the sky and landed calmly on his windowsill, holding out its leg
for him to take the letter.
They hadn’t been able to meet up last summer, her friends had whisked her away
to the Lake District to enjoy the summer sun away from the city. And the
Christmas and Easter breaks she had stayed at school. But their letter writing
had been constant. They had discussed everything. Family, friends, likes,
dislikes, favourite things, future plans. There was not a thing they hadn’t
talked about.
He had loved the letters, and over the two years he had fallen in love with
Anne. He wanted to ask her to marry him, but when he had indicated that to be
his intention, she had written that she had something he needed to know and it
was something best told in person.
So they had arranged to meet. Same place, same date as their first meeting,
minus their friends.
She was sitting at the bar in a blue dress, sipping an orange juice. Her hair
was so long now, it was halfway down her back. She was still short, but he
liked that about her. She caught sight of him and she smiled.
“Hello,” she said, hopping down off her barstool.
“Hello. Sorry I’m late,” he said.
“It’s all right. Big Jim’s been entertaining me with tales of his interesting
regulars,” she said. She leaned in and hugged him, arching up to kiss his
cheek.
He smiled and tried to take a full breath. A woman had never had this effect on
him before. It was different, and he liked it. She was special. He regained
himself and accepted the orange juice she had bought for him.
“Shall we find a seat?” she said and he nodded.
They chose a table in a secluded corner, far away from prying ears and nosy
eyes.
“So, how are you?” he asked.
“Good. I got a flat and job.”
“Really? That was fast. What job?”
“A receptionist for a dentist. It’s nothing fancy, but I like it. It pays
pretty well, and the hours are good. And it’s here.”
“A job in London is a good thing,” he said, thinking of all the months she had
spent up in Scotland at school. Anything that kept her in London was a good
thing.
“No, I mean it’s here. Like, a short bus ride away from right here,” she
clarified.
He couldn’t believe it. She had been so far away for so long and now she was
here. Right here. His mates were right. He was a lucky son of a bitch.
She watched the small smile break across his face and smiled herself. She knew
that flat was a good idea. And the job she loved. It was in the Muggle World,
which her friends at Hogwarts all scoffed at, but it was the world she had
grown up in, why shouldn’t she live in it? It didn’t mean she was turning her
back on the Wizarding World. Speaking of which, she really should tell him. If
he did really want to marry her, which she hoped he did, she wanted to tell him
now while he could still back out of it if he wanted. It was only right that he
be aware of everything before they got too serious.
They chatted about their lives since the last letter and when he offered to
replenish their drinks, she shook her head and asked if they could go back to
his place.
He smiled and took her arm, leading her out of the pub. His house was a small
three bedroom terrace with a small walled in back garden. The garden was barely
big enough to swing a cat, but all he did was dry his laundry out there, so it
didn’t matter. The best feature of the house was that it was only three streets
away from The Shamrock, which meant that he always made it home at the end of
the night.
The East End estate was perfect for John’s lifestyle. His garage, something he
had finally opened six months ago with Joe, was four streets away from his
house. There was a little corner shop for the last minute essentials, like milk
and bread, and a fish and chip shop, which was now run by Chris after his
father passed away eighteen months ago. The supermarket was only a ten minute
walk. It was perfect.
He let Anne into his kitchen and silently thanked God that he had done the
dishes that morning. It was relatively neat and tidy. At least he didn’t have a
leaking carburettor sitting on his kitchen table, something that seemed to
happen quite often.
“Tea?” he offered and she shook her head.
“John, maybe you should sit down,” she said and he took the chair on the
opposite side of the table. “You know I told you that I have a secret?”
He nodded.
“Well…John…I’m a witch.”
There was dead silence in the kitchen. She watched the information process
through his head and wondered what he would say first.
“You mean like one of those new age hippy pagan types?” he asked.
“No, I mean a real witch, one who can do magic.”
He laughed. She had to be joking. Maybe she had hit her head or something. His
mother used to tell him fairy tales when he was little about witches and ogres,
talking mirrors and magic plants that grew from magic beans. She was just
playing with him, indulging in his childhood love of the fantastic.
“A witch?” he questioned and she nodded. “Riiiiight. And I suppose you know the
Easter bunny. Come on, Annie, what’s the real secret?”
“John, that is my secret. If you have a tea cup, I can show you,” she said and
he stared at her for a moment before he stood up.
“All right, I’ll go along with it,” he said, retrieving a tea cup from the
cupboard and handing it to her. “What are you going to do with that, make it
float?”
“Watch the cup,” she instructed as he leaned against the sink, watching her. He
nodded and fixed his eyes on the cup. She pulled out her wand from a hidden
pocket in her dress and waved it. “Wingardium Leviosa.” The cup hovered a few
inches and he jumped about a foot in the air.
“Jesus Christ!” he half yelled. He slowly came forwards and passed his hand
under the cup, then over it, then around it.
“There are no wires,” she said and his eyes met hers. “I told you, I’m a
witch.”
He fell back down into his chair, staring at the cup. She decided to leave it
there, until he actually believed what he was seeing. Every now and then he
passed his hand under it. She managed not to laugh. It wasn’t funny. Really, it
wasn’t funny. All right, it was bloody hilarious, but she refused to laugh. It
was probably terrifying to him.
“You’re a witch,” John said after four hours of silence. She nodded and lowered
the cup. “A real live honest to God witch.”
“Yes.”
He nodded mutely.
“John, I know that this is a lot for you to take in right now, but I need to
ask you something,” she said and he let out a hysterical kind of laugh.
“Go on,” he said, his voice suddenly very high pitched.
“I need you to keep this a secret. You can’t tell anyone about me. It would be
really bad for me if people knew. I told you because I trust you. Will you keep
my secret?”
This seemed to slap some sense into him again.
“Anne, I’ll keep it a secret, I swear. I’ll never tell a soul, I’ll take it to
the grave with me. But…um…not to sound rude or anything…but maybe it’s best if
you go. I need some time to think this through,” he said, looking
uncomfortable.
She smiled. “Of course, I understand. Listen, this is my telephone number. Give
me a call when you’re ready to talk,” she said, handing him a small scrap of
paper with a number and her name on it. “I’ll see myself out.”
He nodded again and called out a goodbye as the door closed behind her.
John sat at his kitchen table staring at the cup late into the night. He
thought it all over in his head.
A witch. A real witch. He had always though magic lived in fairy tales, that he
had put those things behind him, grown out of them. But no, oh no, life was
never that simple.
He considered it. The main question was why had she told him. Why would she
tell him something so big? And then it hit him.
She loved him.
She had revealed herself, exposed herself, because she wanted him to know, she
wanted to share it with him. Well, that’s what he believed. She had no one
else, her parents had died when she was very small. The way she had made it
sound, she had probably never told anyone before.
But there was that part of him that hesitated. Could he live with a witch?
Marry one? Have children with one? Quite honestly, he didn’t know. He hadn’t
seen real demonstrations of magic, he had no idea what she was capable of. One
floating teacup was not Merlin’s magic.
Speaking of Merlin…
John crossed the room as Merlin the owl tapped on his window. There was no
letter attached, so this was obviously a stop on Merlin’s nightly hunt. The
bird stopped in most nights to say a hello while he hunted for his meal.
John opened the window and held out his arm. Merlin hopped on and John carried
him to the kitchen. He perched the bird on the back of a chair and sat down.
“What do you think, Merl?” The bird chirped and he smiled. “Good point.”
Merlin hooted and he nodded.
“You know, I think you’re right.”
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
“This place is incredible!”
Anne sniggered. She had answered a three am telephone call from John and
subsequently agreed to show him Diagon Alley. So far, they had barely made it
through the archway. She remembered the first time she had seen Diagon Alley
and mused that she had been quieter in her amazement. Silent was probably a
better description.
They slowly made their way down the street, popping in to almost every shop.
John took it all in, asking questions by the barrelful. She answered every
single one honestly and found herself impressed by his ability to remember
everything she told him.
“So that big white one is the bank?” he asked, pointing at it.
“Yes, that’s Gringotts. It’s run by goblins.”
“Goblins? Like real goblins?”
“Yes, real goblins.”
They continued to explore Diagon Alley, the young witch firmly steering him
away from Knockturn Alley. He accepted her explanation of it being the wrong
sort of crowd without question. In fact, he took all of her advice without
question. He kept his hands off of what she told him not to touch, moved away
from people she didn’t want him near, went where she led him. In his mind, this
was her world, not his. She knew what was safe, what the rules were. It wasn’t
proper for him to let himself get carried away with it all. Those Aurors
sounded like a scary bunch.
They made their way back to the Leaky Cauldron at the end of the day for some
dinner. John ordered the stew, like Anne did, and sat quietly while she
explained even more of her world to him.
“I think I’ve covered just about everything,” she said finally.
They were finished with their dinner and enjoying something called butterbeer,
which John found he absolutely loved. It made him feel all warm and happy. He
nodded and looked around. The pub wasn’t the friendliest looking place, but
like quite a few things in her world, appearances were deceiving. He quite
enjoyed sitting in the Leaky Cauldron. It was more interesting than The
Shamrock.
Speaking of interesting, that was definitely something that didn’t happen in
The Shamrock.
Anne caught on to what he was looking at and smiled.
“It’s not illegal in my world,” she said and he looked at her. “Two men being
together, it’s perfectly acceptable in the Wizarding World. They can even get
married. There’s a special branch of the Muggle Government, a special law that
makes it legal in both worlds for two wizards to be married.”
He glanced at the two men leaning over their dinner to smooch and decided that
he wasn’t as repulsed by it as he had assumed he would be. In fact, he found he
didn’t mind it at all. Love was love, whatever shape it took. It was hard
enough to find someone to spend your life with. He couldn’t imagine how hard it
was for gay men and women to find someone. How did you know who was and wasn’t
gay? Looking at the two men, John couldn’t see any difference between them and
himself. They looked just like everyone else. They didn’t have a tattoo on
their foreheads or some other visible marker of it.
“Fair enough. If that’s the way they are so be it. It‘s not like they choose to
be gay, is it?” he asked.
“No, they don’t choose it. It’s just like you liking women, it’s the way they
are. It’s not contagious or something like that. It’s just the way they are,
nothing wrong with it, in my book,” she said honestly.
“Nothing at all, just as long as no one asks me to kiss a bloke, I’m all for
it,” he said, making her laugh. “I have a question.”
She giggled. “Another one? You do surprise me, Mr Lupin, so full of questions,”
she teased. “Go on then.”
“If we got married and had children, would they be special like you?”
“You mean would they be magical?”
“Yes.”
“They might be. My parents were muggles, like you, and I’m a witch. There are
different kinds of magical people,” she said and he nodded for her to continue.
“Well, there are very old families of witches and wizards, who marry witches
and wizards and have magical children. They’re called Pureblood. Then there are
people like me, magical but the first in their families to be so. I’m what’s
called a Muggleborn. Then there are half and half. One parent magical, the
other muggle. They’re called half-blood.”
“What about if we had a child, what would he or she be?”
“Ummmm…I think a child we had, that was magical, would be considered half-
blood. I’m magical, you’re muggle, so I think half-blood would be right,” she
said. “Is it something you want, to have magical children?”
He smiled guiltily. How did she manage to see straight through him?
“I wouldn’t mind,” he said casually. “What about two magical parents having a
non magical child?”
She couldn’t believe how well he was taking all of this. She had expected him
to have some sort of trouble accepting all of this, her world, but it didn’t
seem to be a problem. Maybe her friends had been wrong. All those catty
witches, ones she never had a desire to see again in her life, had loudly said
over and over that a relationship with a muggle would never work, that a muggle
could never accept or understand the Wizarding World. She felt a swell of pride
at John proving them wrong.
“That child would be called a Squib. They’re sometimes given up for adoption,
so they can be raised in the Muggle World. Other times, they’re raised by the
family, but they’re home schooled. They never receive a wand, or a magical
education, but they are still a part of the Wizarding World,” she explained.
“They don’t go to Hogwarts?”
“No. To go to Hogwarts, they need to be able to perform magic. A Squib can’t.”
He fell silent for a while, and she let him do so. It was a lot for him to take
in, she couldn’t expect him to just smile and go on as if nothing had happened.
He had seen things today that would make some people’s eyes pop out.
“All right. I’ve thought about it all,” he said eventually. She nodded, sitting
back in her seat and watching him. “Your world is incredible. I always thought
magic was only in fairy tales. To find out now that it’s all real is a shock,
I’ll admit that. And I am shocked, I’ll admit that too. I’m a mechanic, I fix
motors for a living. The thought of someone as wonderful, as beautiful, as
amazing as you, special as you, would like me the way I like you blows my
mind.”
“I do like you. I like you very much,” she said, a little breathless. No man
had ever made her feel this way. No man had ever looked at her that way either.
And she had never thought of a man the way she thought of him. She had never
liked a man this much.
He got up out of his chair and knelt before her chair. “I don’t have a ring,
because I didn’t plan on doing this yet. I planned to wait, to actually spend
some time with you in person. But I can’t wait. Anne Graham, I love you. I find
you to be the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. And I want to spend the rest
of my life with you. I can’t give you a castle or riches or anything a wizard
could. But if you’ll have me, I’ll be yours for as long as you want. Anne, will
you marry me?”
Oh Merlin, he had meant it when he had said it in the letter. She had thought
he was just saying it, but no, he had been serious. He want to marry her, and,
by the sounds of it, have children. Get married, raise a family, grow old
together. She loved him, she knew that. And he loved her. How they would make
this work, she had absolutely no idea, but they would find a way.
“Yes, John, I will marry you.”
His gentle kiss was all she needed to reassure herself that he was the one for
her.
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John bouncily walked down the hallways of the hospital with a bunch of flowers
and a teddy bear.
He and Anne had waited until she turned twenty one to marry, living in their
separate accommodations until their wedding night, when she moved in to his
house. That had been nine years ago and he had never regretted a single second
of his life with Anne. He had to admit, being married to Anne had its moments.
It was definitely unlike any other marriage he had ever heard of.
There were the moments he had always envisioned when he had thought about
marriage when he was young. Coming home to a lovingly prepared dinner, waking
to breakfast his beautiful wife made, having her visit the garage in her lunch
hour, evenings curled up together on the sofa. He had anticipated those. It was
the other side of it, the one he adored, that he had never bargained on.
Coming home to find your wife brewing potions, or levitating to sofa to vacuum
under it was something not every husband came home to. He found it fascinating,
watching her do all that. She only did it behind closed doors, the two of them
deciding that it was the best way. Outside of the house, she was a muggle,
inside it was a very different story.
It had taken a startlingly short amount of time for him to get used to seeing
photographs move, her wand lying on the nightstand, weird and wonderful jars
of…well, he didn’t want to know what was in some of them. He was never sick,
her potions saw to that. Her cooking was wonderful and never got cold, thanks
to her self heating magical plates. Her cleaning spells had even taken care of
his stained nails and oil ruined clothes.
Life was perfect, in his opinion. Anne loved being his wife, she told him that
daily. She loved him, and it still made him stop breathing for a moment every
time she said it. They were complete, in every way.
Well, they were now.
“Hello, dear. Come and meet your son,” Anne called from the bed as he poked his
head around the door of her room.
There was a nurse in the room with her, waiting to take the baby boy back to
the nursery with the others. He moved forwards, the nurse taking the flowers to
put in some water. The bear was bigger than the baby and they both laughed at
it. He plonked it on the bedside cabinet and peered at the tiny bundle in her
arms.
“Oh, he’s so small,” he breathed.
The tiny little boy, barely an hour old, was staring up with unfocussed eyes.
To him they looked a little amber, like Anne’s. He had soft tufts of brown
hair, and ten tiny fingers clutching at his blue blanket.
“Do you want to hold him?” she said and he nodded. He sat on the bed and
trembled with nerves as she carefully passed him the newborn. He was so tiny,
so fragile looking he was terrified of dropping him or breaking him.
“Is he all right? I mean, he’s got everything, hasn’t he?” John asked as he
stroked the tiny nose.
“Yes, he’s perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes. He has everything, including a
healthy set of lungs,” she said as the baby started to scream, scaring John
half to death.
“What’s wrong with him?” he panicked.
“Nothing, dear. He’s just hungry, is all. Pass him here.”
He handed the boy over and watched with awe as Anne nursed him. He was so proud
of her. He had wanted to be there when the baby was born but it was probably
best he wasn’t allowed. He had been enough of a nervous wreck without actually
seeing it happen.
They had suffered several miscarriages over the years, and the doctors (and
healers) had told them that this child would have to stay an only child. Anne
had…women’s problems. It wasn’t a good idea for them to try for another. This
boy was a miracle for them. Best not to push their luck.
“I’ve thought of a name for him,” Anne said as she finished winding him.
“What do you want to call him, darling? Anything you want,” he said and she
beamed.
“I want to call him Remus.”
John’s brow furrowed in concentration. “That’s one of them brothers that
founded Rome, raised by wolves, right?” he questioned and she nodded.
“Romulus and Remus. I think Remus is the prettier name. Our boy is a miracle,
he deserves a special name.”
“It’s perfect.” He peered into the blanket as she cradled him again. “Remus
Lupin.”
“Oh no,” she said lightly. “Remus John Lupin. He has to have his wonderful
father in there.”
His smile was so wide it actually hurt. “Remus John Lupin. A fine name for our
boy. Anne?” he said, covertly looking at the nurse. “Is he special, like you?
Will he be able to go to your school?”
She smiled down at the drowsy infant. “I don’t know. He might be. We’ll have to
wait and see.”
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Six year old Sirius Orion Black stamped his foot and crossed his arms. “I don’t
want to and you can’t make me!” he yelled.
“You will do as you are told, young man,” his father, Canis, said sternly.
“Your brother can do it. Why can’t you be more like your brother?”
Sirius scowled. He’d had that, and things like it, his whole short life. He was
a disappointment to his parents, plain and simple. He didn’t mean to be, and he
had tried not to be, but he just couldn’t see what was so wrong with muggles.
His parents were always on about how much better Purebloods were, how far
superior. Sirius couldn’t see it. There were a few half-blood children at his
school, and a couple Muggleborns. They could do just as much magic as he could.
What made him so special?
“Leave him, Canis. It’s obvious he doesn’t have the talent of Regulus.”
Sirius looked up to see his mother, Belladonna, sweeping in. She looked at him
as if he were something disgusting. No matter how many times it happened, how
many times she made him feel like a snivelling little leech, it still hurt.
He’d heard in school that mother was the name for God on the lips of small
children. He wasn’t quite sure what it meant, but he had a pretty good idea.
All little boys wanted their mother to love them, or at the very least, to like
them. His mother seemed to hate him. She never let him hug her, or kiss her.
She threw away his drawings and his models. Anything he made at school got
thrown away the moment his mother saw it. He wasn’t good enough for her
affections, apparently, and he had never been able to work out why, except for
his disagreement with their beliefs. It didn’t seem like that big a thing to
punish him like this, but he was stubborn, so he refuse to change for something
as simple as a hug. After all, his father said that hugs were for teddy bears,
and he had plenty of those.
Belladonna swept across the room and hugged his five year old brother, Regulus.
Case in point. Regulus really did think he was better than all the other
children. He bought in to all that stuff. Because of his blind obedience to
their parents, Regulus was the favourite son. Mother always tucked him into
bed, and he always got the bigger helpings at meals. He was the pampered
prince, and Sirius was second best.
“Canis, dear, he’s arrived,” Belladonna said as she took Regulus’ hand and
moved to the door. The boy followed her like a little puppy on a string.
“I’ll be down in a moment.”
She cast one more disapproving look at her first born before she left the room,
taking Regulus with her.
Ah yes, the dinner guest, and that was a whole other matter in itself. The man,
Lord something that Sirius couldn’t pronounce, was a frequent guest in the
Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Sirius thought he was creepy, but he
daren’t say that out loud. His father was an ally to him, helping him in his
plans. A Death Eater his father called the ones who worked for the creepy Lord,
or something like that. Sirius didn’t know what a Death Eater did, but he knew
he didn’t want to be one, like his mother had planned for him. They wore weird
robes and scary masks, and he had heard them talking about cursing people.
No, he definitely didn’t want to be a Death Eater.
Canis walked to his son and crouched down to his level. “Sirius, I know you
don’t want to, but just do it once. Do it for me, my little dog.”
His father only called him that when he wanted something Sirius didn’t want to
give. Sirius looked over to the cowering house elf. “But it’ll hurt Kreacher if
I do it.”
“He’s a house elf, it doesn’t matter if you hurt him. Just do it once, and you
can have some of my wine at dinner,” Canis bargained. “I’m sure James never
gets to have wine. Think how grown up you’ll be.”
Sirius wavered. He really didn’t want to do it, it seemed like a nasty thing to
do. But Regulus did it and his father had been proud of Regulus for it.
Kreacher didn’t seem to be in any real pain from Regulus’ one. And he really
did want to try some of his fathers wine, it looked very nice and his father
seemed to like it an awful lot. And his father was right, James Potter, his
best friend in the whole world, never got to have wine.
“All right,” the little boy sighed and his father smiled.
Canis stepped back and Sirius raised fathers wand, pointing it at the trembling
creature. His bright blue eyes locked with Kreacher’s brown ones and he had to
close his eyes as he said it.
“Crucio!”
Kreacher writhed in pain and Sirius bit back his tears. He wouldn’t let his
father see him cry, he just wouldn’t. After a few seconds, Kreacher
straightened up and bowed before he excused himself, making his way down to the
kitchens.
Canis retrieved his wand, straightened Sirius robes and smoothed his hair
before he took his hand, told him how proud he was of him and led him to the
dining room.
As promised, Sirius got to have some of his fathers wine. But it didn’t taste
as good as he thought it would. It didn’t taste good at all.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
As it turned out, Remus had six parents instead of four.
Remus lived with his mother and father, of course. But there were also four
honorary uncles he spent a lot of his time with.
Uncle Joe, who worked with John and was forever trying to teach Remus how to
fix an engine. Maybe one day he would understand that Remus was never going to
be able to fix an engine, but he continued to try. Remus managed to destroy
more car parts than he repaired, but Joe was persistent.
Uncle Mike, who adored taking Remus to the park and watching him tear around
the playground, swinging higher than any other child on the swings, fearless on
the climbing frame. Even if Remus couldn’t manage to make any friends his own
age, Mike would play any game he wanted.
Uncle Chris, who fed him. He had Remus’ favourite cod and chips down to a fine
art now, getting the chips at their crispiest golden brown, frying the cod
until the fish was beautifully flaky and the batter so crisp it broke with a
snap. He always gave Remus a free gherkin with his dinner, and he called the
gherkins wally’s, which made Remus laugh.
And then there was Big Jim, the daddy of the uncles. He was the one to teach
Remus to count cards and play darts and pool. He considered it a necessary
skill for Remus to be able to win money in a pub, and Anne hadn’t had the heart
to argue, not when Remus smiled so widely when he won and got so good with his
maths because of it.
Eight year old Remus John Lupin shot out of the school gates like a bullet out
of a gun. He couldn’t wait to leave. It wasn’t that he hated school. He liked
the lessons, even if they were far too easy, and his teacher, even if she left
him to his own devices most of the time. It was fine, really. It was just hard
to like it when he had no friends.
He had tried to make friends, he really had. But it was hard when you had a
weird name, and you were years ahead in your education. He had tried explaining
that his Uncle Jim had taught him maths, that when he did maths he saw playing
cards in his head. And he had told them that his mother taught him to read, and
he read both pages at once, one with each eye. He didn’t mean to be clever, it
just happened.
He couldn’t complain really. At least they didn’t pick on him. They just
ignored him. He was just grateful that the weird things didn’t happen at
school. Like the time he had managed to make his bed float, or the afternoon he
made it rain in the living room, or that Mothers Day he turned his daffodils
into yellow butterflies by accident when he gave them to his mother.
His parents said he was special, and he would be going to a special school for
children just like he was. They said he was a wizard. But he mustn’t tell
anyone, it was their little secret. He couldn’t even tell his uncles, they
wouldn’t understand and it wasn’t nice to confuse people. So he kept his mouth
shut, and his specialness under control.
Remus never had a parent meet him at the school gates, there just wasn’t any
point. He only lived around the corner and everyone on the estate knew him.
Every day after school, while his mother was working in town and his father was
fixing cars, he went to Uncle Chris for his tea, and then to The Shamrock to
collect glasses for Uncle Jim and play games with the patrons. Mrs. Perkins
from Number 27 always gave him sherbet suckers. His mother collected him about
six and then he spent the evening with his mother and father.
He liked his days. On a Saturday, he spent the morning with his father and
Uncle Joe and then Uncle Mike took him to the fields and kicked the ball with
him, or took him to the playground and pushed him on the swings. Sundays were
the best days though. Sundays he got all of them at once. His mum and dad took
him to The Shamrock and all his uncles would be there, and they would all play
cards and dance to the jukebox and he would beat them at pool.
“Well bless my stars, if it isn’t our little Remus. Is it time for your tea
already?” Chris asked in mock surprise as Remus climbed up onto his stool at
the end of the counter. Everyone on the estate knew it was Remus’ stool, and
they were all used to seeing him there.
“Yes, Uncle Chris. It’s three o’clock, tea time,” Remus piped dutifully.
He was such a small boy, it was a wonder one of the big men hadn’t crushed him
in a hug. He was short and skinny, with knobbly little knees and pointy little
elbows. It had become Chris’ mission in life to fatten him up. Eight years with
no visible success, it was a wonder he hadn’t given up.
“Well then, what’ll it be, my boy?”
“Cod and chips and a coke, please,” he reeled off, careful to remember his
please at the end. His mother told him manners didn’t cost anything.
“One cod, one chips and one coke, coming right up.”
Remus quite liked the Happy Scampi Fish and Chip shop. It smelled good, like
his Uncle Chris always smelled. There were big windows for him to look out of
and his Uncle Chris knew just how to make his tea.
His plate was put in front of him, with a free wally, and he rattled off what
he had learned in school, and how Julia Thompson had said he was weird again,
and how they had a new bloke working in the school library called Maximillian
and he had hair that looked like it had been zapped in a plug socket.
Chris dutifully listened to it all, reassuring his nephew that Julia was just
jealous that she wasn’t as smart as he was. He liked listening to Remus prattle
on about frogspawn and the latest book he had read. He didn’t like listening to
all the teasing that happened, but that was only every once in a while. Remus
cleared his plate and held it out to him, saying thank you. John would settle
up with him on Sunday, it was the way it all worked.
All too soon for Chris’ liking, Remus was hopping down from his stool and
making his way to the door, waving at him with the promise of tomorrow before
he slipped out, off to The Shamrock where he would collect glasses, which he
counted as he went. Jim paid him with orange juice and crisps. Anne would
collect him at six and take him home, where Remus would entertain his parents
with tales of his day.
It was the perfect system. Anne loved her job and John adored his. With this
system, all four men got to see the little boy and he got to be treated like a
little prince by all of the estate. Remus was a child that needed constant
stimulation, he became bored very easily. When he was bored he usually began to
try working things out. They had discovered this when he was learning to walk.
He had gotten bored with his toys and decided to work out how many stairs he
could tackle in The Shamrock’s back room. He had managed seven and then fallen
down them. He had broken his arm, and the system had been born.
That night, as Anne was doing the dishes and Remus was reading on the living
room floor, John sorely regretted calling Lord Voldemort a son of a bitch. It
had happened a few days ago, while Anne was at work and Remus at school.
Voldemort had come to the house.
He had tried to persuade John to give him Remus, that the boy would be better
off with his own kind, not wasting away in some muggle infested sewer they
called a home. John had lost his temper, and called the man a few choice names,
one of them ‘a son of a bitch’. That one had seemed to upset the man more than
anything else. He had left with a warning of consequences.
Remus looked up at the sound of breaking glass to see his mother thrown away
from the kitchen window as a huge grey wolf leapt through it. His father was
tossed aside like a rag doll as he tried to stop it. And Remus didn’t have time
to run as the wolf bit his right arm, right under his shoulder.
He screamed and cried as the wolf tore at his flesh, his blood warm on his
suddenly ice cold skin. It’s teeth were huge and they hurt as he tried to pull
himself free. He felt for sure that the wolf was going to eat him alive, it was
big enough to, and the thought flitted through his head that he really didn’t
want to be wolf dinner.
John helped Anne to her feet and shoved her fallen wand into her hand. She
raised it and blasted the wolf straight through the back door. It ran off into
the night and Remus, his special boy, was lying on the carpet in a pool of
blood, screaming.
“I’m taking him to a hospital,” John said as he scooped him up.
“No, John, you can’t!” Anne exclaimed, making him look at her like she’d lost
her mind. “That was not a wolf, John, it was a werewolf, you can’t take Remus
to a muggle hospital. We need magical help, I’m going to go and get it. Take
him up to the bathroom and begin to clean the wound, use the orange cream in
the cabinet.”
John looked from his son to his wife and nodded. She repaired the back door and
the kitchen window with a wave of her wand, after a quick glance up and down
the street to make sure no one was watching. She kissed each of them before she
Apparated away.
John carried his son upstairs to the bathroom, sat him on the closed lid of the
toilet and carefully peeled off the blood-soaked t-shirt he was wearing. It had
been blue when Remus had put it on that morning. It wasn’t anymore, what was
left of it. He ran a sink of hot water and gritted his teeth against his sons
cries as he carefully sponged the wound clean. God, the beast had gone right
through to the bone.
“Daddy, it hurts,” Remus sobbed.
“I know, Remus, I know it does. Don’t worry, my little wolf. Your mum will
bring a witch or a wizard with her, and it’ll all be better then.”
Remus sniffed and managed to stop crying somewhat. His father always made him
feel better. His parents had always called him their little wolf, because of
his name. He quite liked being their wolf. “I didn’t want to be werewolf
dinner, daddy.”
John chuckled at him. “Maybe he heard how sweet you are and wanted to have a
taste,” he joked and Remus actually managed a weak smile.
Remus howled as his father rubbed the orange healing cream into his bite. It
didn’t just sting this time, it burned. His father kept apologising as he
rubbed it in, but it didn’t help. And the cream didn’t heal the bite either.
“Daddy, why is it still there?”
Remus stared at the red raw wound. The healing cream always worked, there was
never any trace of the wound after using it. But this bite wasn’t going away.
“It is still there because it will not heal that way,” said a very old man
standing in the doorway. His mother was behind him, looking worried.
“John, this is Albus Dumbledore. He can help,” Anne said. “Let him take a look
at Remus.”
John stepped back and let Dumbledore at his son. He was confused and worried.
This was serious for Anne to have gone and got one of her old teachers. It was
really serious for her to have gone and got Dumbledore. She had told him about
the old wizard. According to Anne, there was not a more powerful wizard alive.
For him to be here, this was bad.
“Hello, Mr Lupin. May I take a look at your arm, where the nasty werewolf bit
you?” Albus asked kindly and Remus worried his lower lip for a moment before he
nodded, holding out his arm.
“Excuse me, sir, but are you like me and mum? Are you special?” Remus
questioned, using the words his parents had told him to use.
Albus smiled. “Yes, I am a wizard. I teach at Hogwarts. I used to teach your
mother when she was just a girl,” he replied as he carefully manipulated the
arm. Oh dear, he had seen this particular bite before, on another young boy who
had been forced to leave Hogwarts because of it. He conjured a bandage and
wrapped it around the arm, tying the ends securely.
“Is he, Albus?” Anne said anxiously, even though she already knew the answer.
“Yes, I am afraid he is. How about we go downstairs and have some tea?”
The four of them went downstairs and sat around the kitchen table while it was
all explained. Remus wasn’t sad about being a werewolf, it wasn’t such a bad
thing really and it wasn’t like he could change it now, but he was heartbroken
about not being able to go to Hogwarts. He wanted to go so badly, and now he
couldn’t because the so called Dark Lord was a mean horrible man, and the
Greyback werewolf was nasty and bit him.
Dumbledore managed to cheer him up by conjuring a bright red cage in the
basement for him to use when the full moon came, so he didn’t have to worry
about biting someone, and his parents came up with The Lie.
The Lie was that Remus had a rare blood disorder that flared every couple of
weeks and made him very ill. It wasn’t contagious, it was something he was born
with, but it was why he was so skinny, and why he would need time at home, when
he was weak from the change. They had to tell the muggles around them
something.
He couldn’t go to school anymore, he would have to learn at home. Probably for
the best, he was getting too advanced for his teachers to handle. On the moon
days, as his mother called them, he would stay in the cage and read his books.
On the normal days, he would go to The Shamrock and do his lessons there. He
had always learned the most with Uncle Jim teaching him.
It wasn’t perfect, but it was better than nothing. Dumbledore explained that he
mustn’t let special people see his bite, because they wouldn’t like it. And if
anyone asked, he was bitten by a dog. Dumbledore told him that not many people
in the Wizarding World liked werewolves, so it was for the best that he had
grown up around muggles.
As his parents tucked him into bed that night, much later than his usual
bedtime, Remus hugged his teddy bear very tight. His bite itched, but he
couldn’t scratch it, it hurt when he did that.
“I’m sorry, darling. I know you wanted to go to Hogwarts, but you just can’t,”
Anne said, smoothing back his hair.
“I know, mum. It’s okay. I get to stay home with you and daddy and the guys.
It’ll be fine. It was nice of Mr Dumbledore to come,” Remus replied and his
father smiled.
“That’s because he knows how special you are,” John said.
Remus snorted. “I guess I’m really special now.”
“Very. You’re our special little wolf, always have been, always will be.”
They kissed him good night and he found himself staring up at the full moon,
wondering what the next one would be like.
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Sirius glared at his brother and wished he could actually kill him and get away
with it. Life would be so much easier if he could blow him up. Breakfast would
be more pleasant, that’s for sure.
They were all sitting at breakfast and Regulus kept sending levitated things
zooming at him behind their fathers back. Their mother, of course, was turning
a blind eye, she always did with Regulus, but if Sirius retaliated, his mother
would hex him into his next lifetime.
It just wasn’t fair.
“Stop it, Reg!” he snarled as a spoon hit him on the forehead.
Canis looked over the top of that mornings Prophet to glare down the table at
them both. “What have I told you boys? Enough is enough of these childish
games! You’re both far too old to be doing this.”
And with that, he disappeared again. A man of few words, Canis Black.
His mother was ignoring him again, his brother was annoying, Kreacher had burnt
his breakfast and his father was buried in his paper. What a fine way for
Sirius to spend the morning of his eleventh birthday, the rainy morning of June
13th.
“Mother, Sirius has owl post,” Regulus said.
“So what if I have? It’s none of your business, you little suck up,” Sirius
snapped as he accepted the letter from the owl. It sat there and waited, so it
obviously wanted a reply.
“Do not talk to your brother that way, Sirius,” Belladonna scolded, giving him
a death glare as he opened the letter.
Despite the glare, a huge smile broke across Sirius’ face, and if he hadn’t
been convinced of his mother wounding him for it, he would have jumped up and
down in glee.
“I’m going to Hogwarts!” he cried excitedly, showing Canis the letter. He
managed to stay in his seat, a small miracle in his opinion. “I’ve been
accepted. Can I go, father, please, please, please, can I go?”
Canis shared a look with his wife and then looked at his hopeful eldest son.
Maybe a few years in Slytherin would bring him around to the proper way of
thinking. After all, his sisters girls Narcissa and Bellatrix were there. They
would help Sirius straighten out.
“Give me a quill and some parchment,” he said and Sirius practically exploded
with joy.
His mother was scowling, and Regulus was looking daggers at him, but then his
father sent the acceptance and nothing else mattered. He was going to Hogwarts,
he was getting out of this flipping house for the better part of the year. He
was going to be away from his mother and his father and Kreacher and all the
creepy Pureblood inbred girls, one of which his father wanted him to marry one
day. He was going to meet witches and wizards who wouldn’t care he was
Pureblood, make friends who didn’t give a damn about his name. Best of all, he
was going to be able to spend as much time as he liked with James.
Sirius had never had a better breakfast.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Remus looked up to find his mother and father standing over him, with Mr
Dumbledore. He smiled up at them and closed his book, putting the lid on his
pen. Algebra and infinitesimal calculus. He really liked maths. It was simple,
it was easy. He liked Shakespeare too, he was reading Hamlet and planned to go
on to Macbeth next.
Remus spent his days sitting in The Shamrock, doing lessons well beyond his
years while his parents worked. He had turned eleven back in March and it had
not been the best birthday. To Remus, it had only served as a reminder that he
would have to learn magic at home, that he wouldn’t get to go to Hogwarts. His
birthday was also marred by day three of that months change. Not the best
birthday he had ever had.
The residents of the estate all treated him as their own, and he was never
short of someone to talk to. They all rather enjoyed his explanations of things
they would not be able to grasp, like neurobiology and nuclear fission. They
found the afternoons when he set up his chemistry set to be an entertaining, if
explosive, experience. It was better for him to talk to all the adults, the
children just didn’t get him. He was too mature for them, too clever, too
quiet. It never bothered him, he couldn’t get along with them either. He had
grown up fast, because of his condition. He had worries they didn’t, but the
adults in his life understood just how complicated life could be.
Remus was a sensible little boy, he wasn’t the type to abuse their trust. If he
found money in the bar, he handed it straight to Jim. If someone dropped
something, he would pick it up for them. He was forever holding open doors for
the ladies of the estate and helping Jim pass drinks around. He was the only
child on the estate Jim trusted to handle pints and spirits, he was guaranteed
that Remus wouldn’t touch a drop, unlike some of the little terrors.
“Hello, Mr Dumbledore,” Remus said politely.
“Hello, Mr Lupin. I wonder if I could have a little chat with you?” Albus said.
Remus nodded and piled up his things, carrying them over to Big Jim at the end
of the bar. If Remus moved from his little table to go and talk with someone,
or play pool, or out to get his lunch from Chris, Jim took his things so they
wouldn’t be lost or ruined with a spilt drink.
Anne, Albus, John and Remus took a little table in the corner, away from prying
eyes and the three adults smiled at him.
“Remus, Albus has been made headmaster of Hogwarts,” John said.
“Congratulations, Mr Dumbledore,” Remus said obediently. When someone had
something good happen for them, you congratulated. His parents had taught him
all the polite responses, and he was even able to sound genuine with them.
“Thank you, Mr Lupin, that is very nice of you to say. But I am not here to
talk about me. I am here to offer you a very special birthday gift,” Albus said
and Remus blushed.
“Thank you, sir, but you didn’t have to get me anything.”
“Oh, it is my pleasure to give it to you. I think you will rather enjoy it,
though I apologise for it being a few months late,” the old wizard said.
“That doesn’t matter, it’s the thought that counts. What is it?” Remus asked.
“How would you like to come to Hogwarts this September?”
Remus’ jaw dropped. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Go to Hogwarts?
Actually physically go to Hogwarts? It wasn’t possible, not with his condition,
as his family called it. He couldn’t go, he knew that. He had put away hopes of
going the day he was bitten. He still had his dreams, and the stories his
mother told him, but they were nothing but a fantasy to him.
“I’m sorry, sir, but can you repeat that, please? I don’t think I heard you
right.”
“I am offering you a place at Hogwarts. I have figured out a way for you to
attend without anyone knowing about your condition.”
Remus was intrigued. “How, sir?”
Albus smiled. “I am having a house built in the village near the school, and a
tunnel leading from the Hogwarts grounds to the house. When it is completed, a
Whomping Willow will be planted over the entrance to the tunnel. During your
changes, the school nurse and I will take you through the tunnel, and you will
stay in the house for the three days. You will continue to tell people you were
bitten by a dog, if they see your mark, and we will tell people some lie or
other, to explain your absences. Perhaps your mother is ill and you must go
home to see her, or you are ill, or something else along those lines. It is
entirely possible for you to attend, if you wish to,” Albus described.
Remus didn’t know what to say. It was everything he had ever wanted, right
there for him to have, all he had to do was say yes. His parents were smiling,
it was as if they wanted him to go. They probably did, they knew how badly he
wanted this. And his uncles would be so happy for him, they knew he should be
able to go, if it wasn’t for his condition.
There was just one thing stopping him from saying yes.
“What if I bite someone by accident? What if they stumbled across me one moon
and I bit them?” he said worriedly. “I don’t want that, it would be horrible if
someone had to go through this because of me.”
Albus smiled at him once more, and Remus noticed that his eyes twinkled. He
found it reassuring, and he thought it made it seem like the man knew a secret.
“That is the purpose of the Whomping Willow,” the old wizard said. “No one will
be able to get past it. You will not bite someone, I would not be inviting you
if there was a danger of such a thing.”
“Well, I suppose if there’s no problem of me biting someone, and you wouldn’t
mind all the trouble of taking care of me, I really would like to come to
Hogwarts, Mr Dumbledore. If it’s all right,” he said timidly. He didn’t dare
speak too loudly, just in case it was one of his fantastical dreams.
“I would love to have you as a student, Mr Lupin. Seeing as you are going to be
one of my students, I think it would be best if I was now Professor
Dumbledore.”
“Of course, Professor.”
Dumbledore clapped his hands together and beamed at them all before he
extracted an envelope from his pocket. He handed it to Remus.
“Your Hogwarts letter of acceptance, and a list of all the things you will need
for your first year with us. With that, I shall take my leave. I have a very
special student to prepare for. Good day to you.”
And with that, he left. Remus opened his letter with shaking fingers and read
it through. He had a place at Hogwarts. He…was going…to Hogwarts.
He smiled at his parents, who nodded. He gave his mother his letter before he
raced off to the bar and climbed up onto a stool.
“Uncle Jim! Uncle Jim! Uncle Jim!”
“My, my, what’s got you all fired up all of a sudden, son?”
“I can go to school! The headmaster just came and told me that he’s made
arrangements so I can go to mums old school!” Remus half yelled. As he said it,
Jim gave him the biggest smile he had ever seen. It probably matched his own.
“Annie, is this true? Can our bright as a button boy go to a school that will
actually be able to teach him something he doesn’t know?” Jim called across the
pub.
“Yes, it’s true. The school is called Hogwarts and it is a boarding school for
gifted children. We thought Remus wouldn’t be able to go, with his illness, but
Headmaster Dumbledore has made special arrangements for him. Remus begins in
September,” she announced to the packed bar.
There was a moment of silence, before the whole place went up in a cheer of
celebration. Remus found himself spending the afternoon surrounded by his
uncles, and his parents, and all the faces he had grown up with, all of them
telling him how proud they were of him.
Remus considered it the best day of his whole life.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Remus giggled at his fathers excitement. It was always the same, every time
they went shopping with his mother.
They were in Diagon Alley, Remus and Anne and John, list in hand. So far, all
they had done was make it through the archway. Even that had made his father
exclaim it was incredible. His father said that every single time they went to
Diagon Alley.
Remus thought his father might be more excited than he was about Hogwarts. He
kept gushing about how special Remus was, about what a good time he would have
at school. It was nice to have his father smile like that, it was a while since
he had done it.
They made their way down the street, first visiting Gringotts and then
purchasing all the necessary equipment. There was a cauldron and a telescope
and a set of weighing scales. His mother proclaimed that his wand would be the
last thing they bought, as it would take the longest. Remus didn’t understand
what she meant, but he would soon find out so he didn’t question it. They
bought a very nice wooden trunk for him to take his things in, and his mother
had the shopkeeper carve his name in the lid. It was quite plain, very little
decoration, and Remus liked it. He hadn’t liked the elaborate ones in the shop,
they made him slightly dizzy.
“Oh, go on then. Here’s the list, give it to the sales witch and she’ll gather
them all up for you. Take these galleons before you speed off, you can’t get
them without money,” Anne said and John practically whizzed off to the moon
with enthusiasm. She passed him Remus’ book list and a small pouch of money and
he gave them a smile before he made his way through the crowds to Flourish and
Blotts.
“He’s loving all this, isn’t he?” Remus asked and she smiled down at him.
“He’s loved Diagon Alley since the very first time I brought him here. Your
father loves magic, he thinks were the most special people in the world because
we can do it,” she explained. “Now, I’m going to give you this pouch of money
and you’re going to go and get your uniform in Madame Malkin’s. I’m going to go
and get your potions ingredients while your father can’t see, it makes him
squeamish.”
“Okay.”
He accepted the small bag and put it in his pocket before he weaved his way
through the milling people to Madame Malkin’s. He was smaller than everyone
else and he kept getting hit by their bags, so it was a relief to step inside.
“Hello, dear. Hogwarts, First Year?” asked the friendly looking witch.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“All right, my dear, back here. We’ll get you all measured up. Got another one
being measured too.”
Remus stepped up onto the stool and sniggered at how much smaller he was than
the other boy. His head only came up to his shoulder. The boy had the blackest
hair he had ever seen, it almost shone blue. Oh wait, it did shine blue when he
moved his head. And his eyes were the blue of a clear summer sky.
“Hello. I’m Remus Lupin,” he said, holding out his hand.
“I’m Sirius Black, it’s nice to meet you, Remus,” he replied, taking the hand
and shaking it. “Are you going to Hogwarts too?”
Remus couldn’t reply for a moment as the witch dropped a huge robe over his
head, and then sighed before she pulled it straight back off. “Oh dear. You’re
such a small one, dearie, I’ll have to find a smaller robe to pin. Stay there,
my love.”
She bustled away and Sirius sniggered, and then blushed in embarrassment. “I’m
sorry, it’s rude of me to laugh.”
“It’s okay, I don’t mind you laughing. My uncles laugh all the time. I’m used
to it. I’ve always been small, it doesn’t bother me,” Remus reassured. “And
yes, I am going to Hogwarts.”
“Brilliant. Are you here with your parents?”
“Yes, they’re off getting my books and potions ingredients. Are your parents
here?”
“Just my father, he’s getting my books. My mother stayed at home with my
brother.”
“You have a brother?” Remus asked after a smaller robe was dropped over his
head.
“Yes. His name is Regulus, he’s a year younger than me. Why? Don’t you have any
brothers?” Sirius said, wincing as he was stabbed by a pin.
“No. I’m an only child.”
“Consider yourself lucky, they’re a right pain in the neck,” the taller boy
said and Remus smiled.
They were quiet for a while as their robes were pinned and adjusted and then
they stood together as the rest of their uniforms were made up.
“What are you?” Sirius blurted out and Remus paled. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t
have asked that, it was really rude. It’s none of my business.”
“It’s all right. My mum says you don’t know if you don’t ask. What did you
mean, what am I?” Remus said, careful of the words he chose. The boy could be
asking about anything, it didn’t automatically mean his illness.
“Well…ummm…I’m a Pureblood…”
Sirius didn’t need to say anything more. “I’m half. Well, I think I am. My
mum’s a Muggleborn witch and my dad’s a full muggle, not a drop of magic in
anyone but me and my mum. That makes me half-blood, right?”
Sirius couldn’t believe his luck. He had wanted to meet someone like Remus,
someone who could prove his parents wrong. Most of all, he had wanted to meet a
wizard who didn’t care about his name or blood status. Remus hadn’t done a
double take at his name, or sneered at him for being a Pureblood.
“I think so. I’ve never met anyone like you before. My whole family are
Purebloods. Well, almost,” Sirius revealed.
“Really?” sad Remus. He was just as fascinated by Sirius as Sirius was by him.
He had never met a wizard his own age. He had never had a good conversation
with anyone his own age.
“Yes. I have a cousin who married a Muggleborn, but that’s it, I think.” He
worried his lip for a moment. “Remus?”
“Yes?”
“Would you like to ride the train to Hogwarts with me and my friend James?”
Remus grinned. He and his parents had already worked out that the moon wasn’t
until halfway through September. He could take the train, and he could hardly
wait. His mother made it sound like so much fun. She was even going to give him
a bag of Wizarding money to buy some sweets from the trolley.
“I’d really like that,” Remus said and Sirius smiled. He thought it might be
the prettiest smile he’d ever seen. It made the boys whole face light up, and
his eyes seemed to shine. It was far better than his nervous look.
“That’s you done, Master Black. Am I charging it to your family vault?” the
witch asked and Sirius nodded, accepting his packages.
“I’ll see you on the train, Remus,” Sirius said and waited for his nod before
he left the shop with a wave.
Remus could see Sirius’ father through the window. He was a very tall, very
stern looking man. It didn’t look like he had ever smiled, and Sirius didn’t
seem very happy to be with him. They had a strange little creature with them,
carrying all the packages. It didn’t look happy either.
He paid for his uniform and waited in one of the chairs until someone came to
get him. He wasn’t about to go wandering off, it wasn’t the right thing to do.
This was not the estate, he wasn’t amongst family here. He had to be careful,
like he was taught to be away from home. His father arrived, carrying a pile of
books wrapped in brown paper and tied with string. He was still unspeakably
cheerful and it made Remus smile.
“Got everything?” John asked as he sat down beside his son.
“Yes, I got everything. Mum’s gone for potions ingredients.”
John shuddered. “How about an ice cream while we wait for her?”
Remus nodded and together they enjoyed chocolate orange sundaes with hazelnuts.
“I made a friend, dad,” Remus said and his father smiled. “Well, I think he’s
my friend. We’re going to take the train together, so you and mum don’t have to
worry about me sitting alone all journey.”
John sniggered guiltily. He and Anne really had to be more careful about what
Remus might overhear. Their son didn’t eavesdrop, it wasn’t in his nature. But
they did forget he was in the room with them sometimes, he was just so damn
quiet.
“Does this friend have a name?” he enquired.
“Sirius Black and his whole family are magical and he’s a Pureblood, and he has
a brother called Regulus.”
“Who has a brother called Regulus?”
They looked up to see Anne standing over them with more than just potions
ingredients. Remus’ mother was holding a cage, which contained a beautiful
black owl.
“A new owl? I thought you didn’t want a new one after Merlin died,” Remus said,
pushing a nut from his ice cream through the bars for the bird, who hooted its
thanks.
“Oh, this bird isn’t for me, darling. He’s for you, so you can take him with
you to school and write to us, let us know how you’re getting on,” she said,
handing him the cage. “Your father and I thought you deserved something special
for getting in to Hogwarts.”
He put it on the table and gazed at the bird. It was absolutely beautiful, and
it was his. He hadn’t considered a pet, it was something that had never in his
life crossed his mind. He didn’t know why, he just hadn’t thought about it. But
here it was, a beautiful black owl all of his own.
He threw his arms around Anne and smiled up at John. “Thank you,” he exclaimed.
“He’s beautiful, I love him.”
His parents smiled. Remus filled his mother in on Sirius as they made their way
to Ollivander’s for his wand, his father carrying the packages and his mother
carrying the owl. Remus was just too small to carry them and make it through
the crowds in one piece.
Ollivander’s was a dark dusty shop and Remus felt like electricity was dancing
along his skin. It was quiet like the library, and he liked it. There were
shelves and shelves of long thin boxes, and a very spindly chair by the door.
His mother sat in the chair and waited, though he didn’t know what she was
waiting for. His father looked around the shop with him.
“Miss Graham, what a pleasant surprise to see you. I had thought I never would
again,” came a voice and Remus stared all around the room for it. He jumped as
a man appeared behind him, apparently from no where. “Ten inches, birch, nice
wand for transfiguration work.”
“It’s nice to see you too, Mr Ollivander,” Anne said. “I’m Mrs. Lupin now, and
I’ve come so my Remus can get his wand.”
“Ah yes, Albus did mention something about a special student coming to see me
soon. I cannot think of a more special child than your son, my dear.” He looked
down at Remus, who offered a small smile. “How nice to meet you, Mr Lupin.”
“Hello, Mr Ollivander,” Remus said, offering his hand. Ollivander took it and
gave it a squeeze. “It’s nice to meet you too.”
Ollivander turned to John. “How nice to meet a muggle excited by our world as
much as you. Always such a rare indulgence for me,” he said, shaking John’s
hand.
Remus found himself attacked by a tape measure while Ollivander pulled several
of the boxes from the shelves. His mother smiled encouragingly as he tried each
of them. It took several hours, and he knew now what his mother meant by it
taking the longest. The sun was starting to set by the time he actually found
the right one. Mr Ollivander told him it was the wand that chose the wizard. He
wondered if one was ever going to chose him.
He picked up wand twelve hundred and twenty three and a warmth spread through
his whole arm. He gave it a wave and managed to make the cash register float a
few inches, which made the three adults clap.
“I should have found it sooner,” Ollivander said, shaking his head. “It seems
so obvious now. Cherry wood, thirteen and a quarter inch, unicorn tail hair and
the tip of a thestral feather. One of the more unusual wands I’ve made. Perfect
for Defence Against the Dark Arts, I should think. Light for the most part,
very sweet, with the slightest tickle of darkness. The perfect wand for a sweet
little werewolf.”
Remus stared open mouthed in his shock, and his parents were stiff with terror.
Oh God, if Mr Ollivander told anyone, his chance at Hogwarts would be over
before it started. “You…you know about me, sir?” he whispered.
“Yes, Mr Lupin, I do know. It is clear from your wand, and from the way you
look, the pale skin, the thinness. I have helped many of your kind find their
wands. I recognise a werewolf when I see one. My godson shares your condition.
I assure you that your secret is safe with me,” he guaranteed and all three
Lupin’s breathed a sigh of relief.
They paid for his wand and gathered up all their purchases, securing them all
inside Remus’ trunk, which Anne shrunk and put in her pocket. John took hold of
the owl, who had yet to gather a name. As they opened the door, Remus spun
around and slowly made his way back to the counter. Ollivander leaned down to
listen to him.
“Thank you, sir,” Remus whispered. “Thank you for my wand, and your silence. I
really do want to go to Hogwarts.”
“You are very welcome, Mr Lupin. You will have a wonderful time there, and we
will surely be seeing great things from you,” the man said and waved as Remus
left with his parents.
When they returned home, Remus took his owl and raced around to The Shamrock to
show his uncles. The men considered it an odd way of communication, but it
seemed to suit the special little boy. He was never one to do things like other
children.
As he slipped off to sleep that night, Remus stared at his wand and wondered if
Mr Ollivander was right. Was he really going to show them great things? He
hoped so. He had been given the chance of a lifetime, and he didn’t intend to
waste it.
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The first of September was a bright sunny day, and Remus enjoyed the drive to
Kings Cross. His mother had helped him pack his trunk the night before, and she
had made him a blanket for his bed at school, in case he got homesick. His
father had spent most of the summer dissuading his uncles from accompanying
them to the train, and he had only succeeded yesterday by telling them that
Remus didn’t want them to see him get all teary as he said goodbye.
Anne was trying to stay positive, but it was hard when her only child was going
to be away for months. John had given her big points for her offer to Remus.
She had told the boy that they wouldn’t be offended or upset if he chose not to
come home during the Christmas and Easter breaks. She had been lying, of
course, it would break her heart if her boy didn’t come home for Christmas, but
she accepted that this was all new and exciting for her son, and Christmases at
Hogwarts were wonderful.
It took Remus a full twenty minutes to get settled on the train, sat by the
window in a compartment by himself. He hadn’t seen any sign of Sirius, but the
platform had been packed so he wasn’t worried. His trunk was stowed away in the
overhead rack by John, his backpack was laden with books to read and money for
the trolley by Anne, and his owl had a very secure perch in his cage. Anne set
him up with bottles of water for the journey and she stuffed his pockets with
tissues. In the end, Remus had begged his father to make her stop, and, after a
few tearful hugs and kisses, John managed to persuade Anne that it was time.
And finally, the train began to move and he was on his way.
Remus was soon joined in his compartment by a little blond boy who seemed very
shy and sat in the middle of the seat opposite, buried in a book. They were
then joined by a crying girl being consoled by a boy with black hair. They sat
on either side of the door. Remus said a polite hello to each of them and then
buried himself in War and Peace once more.
“She hates me! My big sister hates me!” the girl cried. She had auburn hair
and, when she turned her head, Remus noticed that she had very green eyes.
“She’ll come around,” the black haired boy said. He was very thin and had black
eyes. He was very pale too. Remus would have wondered if he was a werewolf, if
he hadn’t known he was the only one in the whole school.
“No, she won’t!”
Remus didn’t want to butt in, it wasn’t any of his business really, but she was
so upset. She seemed really distraught and he wanted to help. He pulled a wad
of tissues from his pocket and held them out to the girl.
“Thank you,” she said, accepting them and using them to mop up her tears.
“You’re welcome. He’s right, you know,” Remus said and she looked at him in
question. “Your sister doesn’t hate you. It’s very hard to actually hate
someone. Was she angry when she said it?”
The girl nodded.
“Then it was just the heat of the moment. She’ll come around, she didn’t really
mean it. Just give her time to cool off and you can try talking to her again.
She’s your sister, she loves you. Just give her some time and it’ll all work
out, you’ll see.”
She offered him a watery smile. “Thank you. I’m Lily, Lily Evans.”
“Remus Lupin. Who’s your friend?” he asked, putting his book on the table
beside his water.
“I’m Severus Snape,” said the boy.
“Peter Pettigrew,” the blond boy offered after some gentle coaxing.
Remus had a mass of questions for them, but he didn’t get to ask. At that
moment a boy with messy black hair and glasses poked his head in the door.
“I’m sorry, but I’m looking for a boy called Remus Lu-something,” he said.
“I’m Remus Lupin. Am I the one you’re looking for?”
“Yes, you’re the one.” The messy head was pulled back and he yelled down the
train. “Oi! I found him!”
A moment later Remus smiled as Sirius came into view. “You still want to take
the train together?” he asked and Remus nodded.
“Come and join us, the more the merrier.”
The two boys moved in and Sirius sat down opposite him, leaving the other boy
to sit beside Remus.
“Sorry I didn’t find you before, it was a bit hectic,” Sirius said. “This is
James Potter, my best mate. James, this is Remus Lupin.”
The two of them shook hands and Remus introduced the rest of his compartment
mates. James seemed very interested in Lily.
“Blimey, you like to get a head start, don’t you?” James said, staring at
Remus’ War and Peace.
Remus sniggered at their looks of disbelief when he told them it was reading
for fun, not school. Their jaws dropped when he revealed he had already
finished all his school books. He had found them very interesting.
“But it’s huge! When did you start reading it?” Sirius asked, weighing it in
his hands.
“Yesterday afternoon. I’m only halfway through, so I probably won’t be finished
until sometime tonight,” he replied honestly as it was returned to its place on
the table and their jaws dropped once more.
“How is that possible? That can’t be possible,” Severus said. “How can you read
so fast?”
Remus suddenly had the horrible thought that maybe he shouldn’t have said
anything. This was how he had isolated himself in primary school, when he had
gone to school. So far no one had made fun of his name, and he was very glad of
that. But this was not just a name, this was something that made him different,
set him apart.
So, instead of saying anything, he shrugged and picked at the hem of his long
sleeved shirt.
Sirius watched him shrug and considered that Remus had probably not had the
best luck with kids his own age. He had seen it before, so had James. Children
who had grown up fast, spent a lot of time with adults, had a special something
that set them apart. Sirius had experienced it in his own family. Considering
the size of the book, the way Remus spoke, the politeness he had displayed, he
thought it was probably something to be proud of that was making Remus so
embarrassed. He had probably been teased about it.
“You’re clever, aren’t you?” Sirius said and Remus looked at him in surprise.
“It’s okay, you know, if you are. We won’t tease you for it.”
Sirius smiled encouragingly at him, as did James, and they waited patiently for
Remus to tell them how he got through it so fast.
“I read two pages at once,” he said shyly.
Okay, that was a new one. Sirius had never heard that one before, and a quick
glance at James confirmed that he hadn’t either.
“What do you mean?” James asked.
Remus took a deep breath. “Well, when I read I look at two pages at the same
time, one with each eye. My mum says it looks like I’m staring at the fold in
between the pages, but I’m not. I’m reading both at the same time.”
“That is so cool,” Peter said. “I wish I could do that. Do you remember what
you read?”
“Yes, I remember everything I read.”
“Lucky. I can barely remember a thing,” Peter said miserably.
The conversation flowed smoothly after that. Remus found out quite a lot about
his companions families. James and Sirius had been friends since they were
four, their fathers both worked at the Ministry. Peter’s family was very over
protective, he’d had dragon pox as a small boy and almost died. The three of
them were all Pureblood’s, and apparently swimming in money. Lily was
Muggleborn and her Irish father worked for a newspaper, taking photographs.
Severus was like Remus, kept his mouth shut about his family. Remus didn’t know
Severus’ reason for keeping quiet, but his was simple. He didn’t want to start
lying on the very first day. If he opened his mouth about his family and his
home, he’d have to start with the lies. His friends couldn’t know the real
reason why he had been forced to leave school, and why he was so ill.
“What about you, Remus?” Lily asked. “What’s your family like?”
He took a deep breath, ready to start on the lies, hating himself for it
already, but he was saved by two girls poking their head around the door. One
was a brunette with dark eyes and the other was a blonde with ice blue eyes.
They were already in their uniforms, which bore the Slytherin crest, and they
fixed Sirius with a disgusted stare.
“There you are. What are you doing in here? Uncle Canis told you to sit with
us,” said the brunette girl.
“I’ll sit where I like,” Sirius said angrily. “You can’t tell me what to do and
he’s not here.”
The brunette had to be soothed by the blonde so she didn‘t jump him. “Keep a
civil tongue, you little bastard,” the brunette snarled.
“I’ll say what the hell I like, Bellatrix. No one’s here to stop me.”
“You keep on like this and we will,” said the blonde.
“Oh really? And how will you do that, Narcissa? Get your little boyfriend to
hex me? I’d like to see him beat me in a fight,” Sirius said and James shot him
a warning glance.
The two girls looked around the cabin and Bellatrix fixed her eyes on Remus.
“What are you?” she asked.
“What he is, is none of your business,” James spat.
“Oh look, little Potter has a tongue in his head. Makes a change, doesn’t it,
Bella? Snivelling little shit usually can’t say a word to us,” said Narcissa.
Remus wanted to know what the hell was going on, but it wasn’t the right time
to open his mouth. James and Sirius looked ready to curse the two witches into
next week and he didn’t doubt that they could. He really didn’t want to be the
cause of a fight.
“I’ve had enough of this. Let the little prick do what he wants, it’s his neck.
Any of you little ones want to be in Slytherin?” Bellatrix asked them all.
Severus perked up immediately and Sirius wanted to throttle him. He had been
sitting with a little snake all this time, something he had wanted to avoid at
all costs. Why hadn’t he asked the same question? James shot him another
warning glance and he stared out of the window, ignoring the whole thing.
“I want to be in Slytherin,” Severus said and the two girls smiled at him.
“Are you a Pureblood?” Narcissa questioned.
“My mum is.”
“What about your father?” grilled Bellatrix.
“A muggle,” he said disgustedly.
“You don’t like your father?”
“No. He’s not very nice.”
The two smiled at him again, and Remus decided he didn’t like that smile. It
gave him the heebie jeebies, as Uncle Joe called it. “Come on then, you can sit
with some real witches and wizards, we’ll show you the proper way to behave in
Hogwarts,” said Narcissa and Severus sprung to his feet, joining them in the
corridor without even a glance at anyone, not even Lily. “Anyone else?”
They all sat quietly shaking their heads and Bellatrix moved into the cabin.
She grabbed Remus by the wrist and hauled him to his feet. He was so small, he
barely reached her elbow. James and Sirius leapt to their feet, as did Peter as
Bellatrix dragged him to the door. He didn’t dare fight back, he was too strong
for that. She would go flying and he would be done for. His parents had told
him to act the way he did around his uncles, and he would stick to that.
“What are you?” Bellatrix asked him again and Remus looked to the three
Pureblood boys. They looked furious, but Sirius gave him a nod to answer her.
“My mum’s a Muggleborn witch and my dad’s a muggle,” Remus said nervously.
“Why? I didn’t know it mattered.”
“I’m a Pureblood and your superior, you little mudblood.”
“How does that make you my superior?” he questioned. He ignored the word, he
could find out what it meant later. He didn’t understand, and he did what he
always did, he tried to find the information he was lacking.
She slapped him hard across the face and Sirius caught him as he went hurtling
across the compartment. James and Peter shoved her into the hall and she
sneered at them, muttering ‘mudblood’ once more before she left, Narcissa and
Severus following her, though Severus didn’t look so excited about going
anymore.
Peter slammed the door shut and Sirius guided Remus to his seat again. His lip
was split where her nail had caught him and his face was burning but he jerked
his head away as Sirius tried to press a tissue to his bloody mouth.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Remus, I promise,” he said gently. “Hold still.”
“I know, I’m sorry. It’s not you, it’s me, reflex action,” Remus said as he
held still and let Sirius mop him up. They were all looking at him weirdly, and
he knew they were wondering why he pulled away. He may as well just get it over
with. “I have a problem with my blood.”
There, he had said it now, he couldn’t take it back. It wasn’t really a lie,
there was something wrong with it. He had to explain why he pulled away, and
one slap around the face could not explain it. The effect of those seven little
words was instantaneous. Sirius pulled his hand away and James peered worriedly
at the bloodied tissue in his hand. Peter even backed up a step and Lily looked
nervous of him now.
“Don’t worry, you can’t catch it. I was born with it,” Remus reassured and they
smiled at him. “What does it mean, what she called me?”
Sirius growled as he grabbed Remus’ bottle of water and soaked a fresh tissue
with it. He didn’t want to use spells on him, not until he knew what was wrong
with his blood. It could make him really sick, he had to be careful of what he
cast on him. He cleaned up the blood from his face, but he just wouldn’t stop
bleeding. It was gushing from the tiny little cut, literally pouring from his
lip.
“Why won’t it stop?” Lily asked terrifiedly.
“It’s me,” Remus said calmly and pulled another tissue from his pocket,
pressing it to where he was bleeding. It took him a while to stop bleeding, he
needed healing charms to help him do it with any real speed. It made mornings
after his change a messy business. It had a good point though, werewolf slow
healing time. It was perfect to fit in with The Lie. It was just a good thing
his skin wasn’t as delicate as it looked. He knew, from his reading, that a
human would not be able to bite him, something about the human oral structure
made piercing his skin with their teeth an impossibility. Apparently, human
fingernails did not have the same problem. He knew he couldn’t infect her this
way, that would only happen if he bit her, which he didn’t plan on doing. Apart
from anything, he didn’t think she’d taste very nice.
“That’s what’s wrong with my blood. Something about my blood, a deficiency in
it, means it doesn’t work as well as it should. It takes me a long time to stop
bleeding, and I get ill every few weeks because of it. I get tired and weak,
but it passes. Professor Dumbledore arranged for me to be taken care of when
it’s bad.”
The four of them nodded at him and he sat back, waiting for it to stop. He
already knew they’d be waiting for at least an hour, maybe two, and he would
have a spectacular bruise on his cheek come the arrival at Hogwarts.
“Can’t they cure it?” Peter asked.
“No. They’ve tried, but nothing works. It’s okay, I’m used to it. I’ll stop
bleeding in a bit, you’ll see. You didn’t answer me, Sirius. What did it mean,
the word she used?”
Sirius threw himself back into his seat. What a perfect way to start his time
at Hogwarts, his bitch cousin hitting his new friend.
“Mudblood is a nasty word for someone Muggleborn or half-blood. My family is
obsessed with blood purity, they’re convinced Purebloods are better,” he said
eventually. “Mudblood means dirty blood. It’s not usually a term one hears in
civilised company. I’m so sorry, Remus. I should have been faster, got to you
before she did.”
“It’s all right, can’t be helped now. Who are they?”
“My cousins. They’re both Slytherin’s and the apples of my fathers eye. Canis,
the uncle they were talking about, is my father. Do you remember me telling you
about the cousin I have that married a Muggleborn?” Remus nodded. “Their big
sister Andromeda. She married Ted Tonks and my family disowned her. Bella hit
you because you asked why she was superior.”
“I don’t understand. I wasn’t being cheeky, I was curious,” Remus said, pulling
a mirror from his bag. Anne really had included everything. He pulled the
tissue away, held up the mirror and gingerly pressed the wound. It continued to
bleed, so he grabbed a clean tissue and continued to press it. Oh, this was
ridiculous. He couldn’t talk through a tissue for the next two hours. “Before
you explain that, can you do any healing charms?”
“Yeah, I’m really good at them. Is it all right to use them on you?” Sirius
asked pulling out his wand.
“It’s fine. I’ll feel a little queasy afterwards, but it’s better than the
bleeding. You’ll have to be quick once I pull the tissue away. It’ll flow
pretty fierce.”
Sirius nodded and cast the quickest charm in his whole life as the tissue was
pulled away. It healed and Remus looked a little green. The smaller boy pulled
a small tub of healing balm out of his bag and began to rub the orange cream
into the bruise already dark on his pale cheek. As his hand moved, Sirius
noticed that there was another one on his wrist, where Bellatrix had grabbed
him.
“Bella thought you were being cheeky. She thinks she so fucking superior,
excuse my language,” James explained. “To her, and quite a few other
Purebloods, they are superior. My family don’t give a damn, to them magic is
magic. But Sirius’ family care a lot. Best to avoid them if you can. He’ll
point out the nice and nasty ones.”
Remus nodded and looked around. Peter was still angry, he could tell by the
scowl. But Lily was terrified by his bleeding. She was staring at his face and,
for some reason, his wrist. He looked down at it and sniggered.
“Did I mention that I bruise really easily? Probably best if I don’t go in for
Quidditch, I might pass for a work of art.”
It broke the ice and all of them laughed. Remus didn’t hesitate this time in
telling them of his uncles, of his home and it made him feel so much lighter.
He knew he was lying to them, but he just couldn’t bring himself to care. They
were his friends, and nothing else mattered at that moment.
Sirius couldn’t believe his luck. Remus and Peter and Lily were still talking
to him after meeting his cousins. Severus didn’t return, and he was extremely
happy about that. If he wanted to be a Slytherin, Sirius didn’t want anything
to do with him.
Lily and James did not hit it off. They bickered right from the get go, and it
became the backdrop to the journey. It didn’t seem like those two would ever
get along. They griped about everything to do with the other, and nitpicked
until their throats were raw.
When the trolley arrived, they pooled their money and bought enough sweets to
sink the Titanic, though only Lily understood that reference from Remus. They
spent the rest of the journey munching their way through their body weights in
chocolate frogs and every flavour beans and liquorish wands. As they drew close
to Hogwarts, the boys turned around so Lily could change, and then she turned
around so they could change.
Remus had to remove his shirt to change into his uniform, but he really did not
want to. They would see his mark, and he would have to tell another lie.
Dumbledore had assured him that no first year would know what the mark was, and
by the time they figured it out the lie would be firmly in place. He didn’t
want them to see it. If he was honest with himself, it wasn’t the lie that
bothered him. It was the mark. He was ashamed of it, of what it meant. He was
different, and his mark was clear proof of that.
“You have to change, Remus,” James said when he noticed Remus hadn’t changed
his shirt. He had changed his trousers and his shoes, but he was still wearing
his blue shirt. Apart from anything, Remus’ shirt had blood on it.
“Could…ummm…can you turn around?” Remus requested.
They stared at him. They were all boys, he didn’t have anything they hadn’t
seen before, right? What could be the problem?
“We’re not going to laugh because you’re skinny,” Peter said reassuringly.
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?” Sirius asked. Lily turned around cautiously and joined in
with the confused stares.
Remus sighed and removed his shirt. “It’s this,” he said and their jaws
dropped.
“Merlin, what happened to you?” Sirius breathed, moving a little closer so he
could get a better look.
“I was bitten by a dog when I was little. It’s how they diagnosed my illness,
it wouldn’t stop bleeding,” he said quietly, hanging his head as he blushed a
furious shade of red, hugging himself.
Sirius took a deep breath and picked up Remus’ school shirt, James packing away
the bloodied one for him. They had grown up around inbred Pureblood children
with more health problems than most. Peter himself had a problem with his
digestive tract, his parents had been cousins before they married. The two of
them were amongst the lucky few, there was no inbreeding in their veins. They
had seen kids like Remus their whole lives, kids ashamed of scars and
embarrassed by illnesses. They knew just how to handle him, and by the looks
Lily and Peter were giving Remus, they knew too.
“Remus, can we catch your blood disorder?” Sirius asked.
“No,” Remus answered, staring at him in uncertainty.
“Does it automatically make you a Slytherin?” James questioned, narrowing his
eyes in a suspicious gaze, and Remus laughed as he shook his head.
“Not that I know of.”
“Does the scar hurt?” Peter piped in.
“No, it’s just there.”
“Is your illness or the scar going to stop you being a student at Hogwarts?
Because, you know, I want to know now if I’m spending all this time making
friends with you if you’re not going to be here more than five minutes,” Lily
said bluntly.
“I’m here for the seven years if I don’t get expelled.”
They all looked at each other before Sirius shoved his shirt at him. “Then get
dressed. Me and James are aiming for Gryffindor, like his family. Where you
aiming?”
“Anywhere but Slytherin, they don’t seem very nice,” Remus said as he finished
getting dressed.
“Good man,” Sirius said, slinging an arm around his shoulders.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
The Great Hall was huge. Remus wished he had about a dozen more eyes, because
he wanted to look everywhere at once. There were so many witches and wizards,
all about his age. There were four long tables filled with students and one
long one at the top of the hall, where Professor Dumbledore was sitting with
the other professors. As they all lined up to be Sorted, like Professor
McGonagall told them to, and the hat sung a song, Remus looked upwards. Above
him were floating candles, and past that he could see the sky.
As Bethany Albans was called to be Sorted, he nudged James, who was standing
beside him.
“Where’s the ceiling?” he whispered.
James glanced up and smiled. “That is the ceiling. It’s bewitched to look like
the sky outside,” he explained quietly as Bethany became the first Hufflepuff.
Remus nodded and stood silently, waiting for his turn. Sirius Black was the
first of his new friends to be Sorted. The hat sat there on his head for a few
seconds before it yelled ‘GRYFFINDOR!’ Sirius gave a huge smile and made his
way over to the smiling table of students. Remus noticed that the Slytherin
table didn’t look very happy about Sirius’ placement.
Lily Evans was the next of the six compartment companions to be Sorted. She too
was a Gryffindor. Then came a boy with ginger hair called Mundungus Fletcher,
who became the first Ravenclaw. A few more students went by, and then it was
Remus Lupin’s turn.
Sirius watched as his friend walked to the stool. He had chosen to sit with his
back to the Slytherin’s, so he was spared the death glares and looks of
disappointment. There was a space either side of him, no one wanted to sit next
to a Black who, by all rights, should have gone straight to Slytherin. He
couldn’t care less really. Nothing they could do now, and it wasn’t like he’d
chosen Gryffindor. The hat chose for him. He could still hear its words in his
head.
[No other place for you, not a question about it. Your family won’t be happy,
but it’ll all work out. You’re a GRYFFINDOR!]
It was the best three sentences he had ever heard. McGonagall put the hat on
Remus and Sirius laughed. It not only covered his eyes, but his whole head. The
rim of the hat rested on his skinny shoulders, and he lifted the edge of it so
he could breathe.
Remus could hear a voice in his head and it wasn’t his own. He lifted the edge
of the hat so he could breathe and listened to what it was saying.
[A brilliant mind, absolutely wonderful, but I don’t think you’d suit
Ravenclaw. No, much more than just your intelligence here. Very loyal, and
extremely sweet, but Hufflepuff isn’t for you either. Maybe Slytherin, perhaps?
Cunning, and you have been deceptive, haven’t you? Ah, I see why. Never mind,
some lies are only for the best. No, definitely not Slytherin, they’d eat you
alive, and you’re not bloodthirsty, you wouldn’t fit in. Ah, I know where to
put you. I know exactly where you should go. Good heart, brave, plenty of
courage. Your best fit, though you could go anywhere really, is GRYFFINDOR!]
The last word was shouted and the hat was pulled from his head. He made his way
over and sat down opposite Sirius, who was beaming at him, and beside Lily, who
gave him a pat on the back.
Peter Pettigrew was also a Gryffindor, though it had taken the hat a while to
decide that. For James Potter, the hat barely touched his head before it yelled
Gryffindor. James sat next to Remus and Peter next to Sirius, the four of them
making a kind of square.
A black boy called Kingsley Shacklebolt became a Ravenclaw, like Mundungus
Fletcher, and then Severus Snape got his wish and was made a Slytherin. More
than half of the students so far had been put in Slytherin. Severus practically
skipped off to the Slytherin’s, where he sat next to a tall boy with long blond
hair and a Prefect’s badge. Narcissa was very chummy with the blond boy, who
was glaring daggers at the back of Sirius’ head. He looked along the Slytherin
table as the Sorting finished up and noticed Bellatrix sniggering at something
a mean looking boy had said.
The final student to be Sorted was a short tubby girl called Delores Umbridge.
She simpered up to McGonagall as the woman beckoned her to the stool and Remus
took an instant dislike to her. She was such a suck up, and he doubted it would
get her anywhere. Delores was Sorted into Slytherin, and Remus found he wasn’t
surprised.
Once the Sorting was over, Professor Dumbledore said a few odd words and the
food appeared on the tables.
“Sirius, who’s that with Bellatrix, and that one with Narcissa?” Remus asked
between bites of shepherds pie and roast potatoes.
Sirius craned around and rolled his eyes, casting a look at James as he stabbed
at his beef hotpot. Remus had the impression he was imagining the hotpot to be
the two boys.
“Their future husbands,” James said.
“They’re engaged already?” Remus questioned.
“No, they’re part of arranged marriages. It’s common in Pureblood families to
arrange your child’s marriage for them,” Sirius clarified. “Cissa and Bella are
bought and paid for, it’s a done deal. When the girls leave here, they’ll marry
those boys. The one with Bella is Rodolphus Lestrange, and the boy on her other
side is his brother Rabastan. They’re German and moved here when they were
about two. The other one, the blond, his name is Lucius Malfoy, and his family
are French. Purebloods, all of them.”
“And nasty bits of work,” said Peter. “I met them once, when I was younger, at
a party my granddad threw. They’re horrible.”
“Excellently put,” said an older redheaded boy wearing a Prefects badge as he
sat down in the free space to Sirius’ left, grabbing a roll to munch on.
“They’re real pieces of work. I’d bet my life on Lucius having bought that
badge, and Rodolphus gets more revolting every year. Just shows what bad taste
the ugly sisters have got.”
“Hello, Fab, how you doing?” James said cheerfully.
“Not too bad, Potter, can’t complain. Became an uncle.”
“Really?”
“Yup. My big sister Molly and her husband had their first baby, a boy named
Charlie. Just had his first birthday. Real cracker of a kid, loves to use you
as a climbing frame.”
“Congratulations,” said Remus. He didn’t know who the boy was, but he seemed
nice enough, and it was good news.
“Fab, this is Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and Lily Evans,” Sirius said,
pointing them all out. They each received a nod and a smile. “Everyone, this is
Fabian Prewett. He’s one of my nice relatives.”
“They met Bella and Cissa then?” Fabian said with a grin.
“Unfortunately,” Sirius said.
“Fab, Remus and Lily are so called mudbloods, according to Bella,” James said
with a sly smile at Sirius, who was grinning. “Lily’s Muggleborn, so is Remus’
mum, and his dads a full muggle.”
“Really? Brilliant!” Fabian said excitedly. “Can never have too many of you
lot.”
Remus and Lily looked at each other before bursting into a fit of giggles. He
was so happy, it was infectious.
“Fabian’s family are so called blood traitors because they get along with
people like you and Lily. His father works as a muggle accountant and is my
mothers brothers son, which makes Fab, his brother Gideon and his sister Molly
my… second cousins, I think. They’re the nice side of the family, but you’ve
got no hope of finding them on my family tree,” Sirius said to Remus. “Fabian’s
mum and James’ mum spend a lot of time together, hence me actually knowing the
decent members of the family. I spent a lot of time at James’ when I was
little.”
Remus beamed. Cinderella reference explained then, and how they all knew each
other. “Your dad’s an accountant?”
“Yup. He’s forever bringing home muggle bits and pieces. Brilliant really, our
house is never dull,” Fabian said. “Arthur, that’s Molly’s husband, does the
same, and Arthur’s dad. The three get on like a house on fire, all as nutty as
each other.”
Remus decided there and then that Fabian was one relative of Sirius’ he liked,
even if the familial connections were hard to keep track of. Maybe Sirius would
draw him a diagram or something. The dinner disappeared and the plates sparkled
once more before desert arrived. Remus couldn’t quite decide what he wanted, it
all looked so good, and there were so many of his favourites.
“I recommend the apple pie and strawberry ice cream,” Fabian suggested and
helped Remus pile some into his bowl. “You’re such a skinny one, you need
fattening up, as my mum says.”
Remus sniggered around his mouthful of pie. “You won’t manage it,” he said.
“I can try.”
“My Uncle Chris has been trying for eleven years.”
“Well, now there are two of us, we might manage it.”
The conversation turned to lessons and Fabian promised to take them to meet
Hagrid, the groundskeeper, at the weekend. Apparently, Hagrid’s dogs, Honeyduke
and Zonko, had a puppy over the summer, called Fang. Remus didn’t want to say
that the dogs wouldn’t like him, that it was best if he stayed away, so he
agreed to go too.
The meal ended and Fabian geared up to show the first years to Gryffindor
Tower, but he was distracted by Sirius being assaulted.
“I suppose you think you’re proud of yourself.”
They spun around to find Lucius, Narcissa, Rodolphus, Rabastan and Bellatrix
standing in front of them. The Slytherin first years were being led away by a
girl Prefect. Fabian took Remus and Lily and shoved them behind himself, Peter
and James. Remus watched the face off from behind Fabian’s right arm.
“What makes you suppose that?” Sirius asked in a bored tone.
“A Gryffindor. Daddy will be pleased with his first born heir, won’t he,
Sirius? You should be worrying about what Canis is going to say, and yet you
look startlingly at ease. I wonder, have you lost your mind? Taken leave of
your senses? Being a Gryffindor is a disgusting disease, you should go to
Professor Dumbledore and have him resort you. It’s obviously spending time with
blood traitors and mudbloods-”
“Don’t talk about things too advanced for you, Lucius, you’ll give yourself a
headache. It might interfere with you shagging everything in sight before
you’re sold off to that inbred piece of trash,” Sirius interrupted, motioning
to Narcissa.
“You insolent little whelp. I ought to teach you to show me the proper
respect,” Lucius snarled. Sirius didn’t reach much past Lucius’ shoulders, but
the two of them stood chest to chest, scowling at each other.
“I’ll show it when you earn it.”
Lucius’ wand was out before Remus even saw him reach for it and Sirius was
blasted back a few feet. Sirius yanked out his own wand to retaliate but never
managed it.
“Mr Malfoy, fighting on your first day as a Prefect,” said a short tubby
teacher who looked angry.
“He was simply showing my cousin how to perform the charm, Professor Slughorn.
Poor little Sirius didn’t move out of the way fast enough,” Narcissa lied
smoothly.
“Funny thing that, I didn’t hear any mention of a charm in your illuminating
conversation, Mr Malfoy. Come with me, all five of you. Mr Prewett, you should
get your first years off to bed.”
The five Slytherin’s growled and followed their furious professor. Fabian
stepped forwards and helped Sirius up.
“At least none of them hit Remus this time,” James said.
“Hit Remus? Who hit Remus?” Fabian asked angrily.
“Bellatrix,” Lily said. “He wanted to know why being a Pureblood made her
better than him.”
Fabian dissolved into a fit of laughter and hugged Remus around the shoulders.
“I can’t believe I missed that! You’ll have to stand up to her again sometime,
I’d pay to see it!”
“I really did want to know, she just took it the wrong way,” Remus said.
They were lead up to Gryffindor Tower, where there was a portrait of a very fat
lady. Fabian told her the password, and they found themselves in a warm room
filled with squashy looking armchairs and sofas.
Remus stood in his dormitory and gazed around. There were only the four of them
in it, all the other dorms had more. Lily herself was rooming with seven other
girls. Remus ended up with the bed closest the door with James taking the bed
on his right and Sirius to his left. Peter was opposite him, nearest the
window.
“Bloody hell!”
Remus looked up from putting his clothes in their proper places to see Sirius
staring at his trunk. James peeked into it and let out a low whistle.
“Starting a fire, Remus?” he joked.
“No. I like to read and I had trouble deciding which books to bring. I would
have brought more, but I ran out of room. I’ve got about seven times that many
at home.”
Sirius crouched down and looked at the novels. Remus had about fifty of them,
all neatly packed away. None of the cover pictures moved, and there were no
books by these authors in the Black family library.
“Are they all muggle books?” he asked and Remus nodded, reaching over him to
grab a blanket from his trunk, revealing even more books. “Merlin! How many are
in here?”
“Eighty seven muggle books, plus the three in my backpack. This pile doesn’t
count, it’s my schoolbooks,” Remus said, extracting the textbooks and arranging
them tidily on a shelf in his nightstand. He didn’t want to keep them with his
fun books, he’d just get mixed up.
Sirius stared at them all. Ninety books, all just for fun. He had never known
anyone who liked to read this much. And he had never seen such a collection of
muggle literature. It made his fingers itch and his mind churn. All the
knowledge contained in those books, all the secrets his family had never let
him have. It would piss his family off no end if he read any of them. He might
ask to borrow one of Remus’ books for that reason alone. Remus moved a few of
them aside to grab a small bag, probably containing his toiletries or
something, and Sirius frowned in confusion.
“What’s this?” he asked, holding up the battered thing he had found. It wasn’t
really recognisable as anything, so he had to ask, his curiosity was absolutely
buzzing.
Remus blushed. “That’s Romulus.”
“Romulus?” James questioned, peering at it. “What is Romulus exactly?”
“Ummm…well…he’s my…”
Sirius caught on and carried Romulus to his bed, where he extracted Cuddles
from his trunk. “He’s your teddy bear. This is Cuddles, he’s mine,” he said,
chucking Cuddles at Remus.
Remus grinned as he looked down at the bear. It was in a lot better shape than
Romulus. Cuddles practically looked new in comparison. Cuddles was a dark brown
and had a green bow tie. Romulus had once been blue, and his clothes had once
been a pair of blue dungarees. Not anymore, Romulus was all faded and dirty and
there was a bloodstain on one of his ears from one time Remus had a paper cut
and didn’t notice.
“Cuddles is obviously in better health than Romulus is,” Remus said and Sirius
sniggered.
“Blame Kreacher, the house elf. He cleans everything to within an inch of its
life. Yours looks like he was actually played with when you were young.”
“Told you,” James said and Sirius blushed. “I told you that you wouldn’t be the
only one with a bear.”
James pulled out his wand and cast a charm on Romulus, returning him to looking
almost new. Remus and Sirius swapped bears and the two toys took pride of place
on their bedside cabinets.
Remus had just finished straightening the blanket his mother had made him when
there was a knock at the door. James opened it to reveal Professor Dumbledore.
“I always find it amusing how soon a dorm looks lived in once the inhabitants
get to it,” he said with a smile. “How are you boys settling in?”
“Fine, sir,” Sirius said.
“Ah, young Mr Black. Are you well after the altercation with Mr Malfoy?”
“I’m okay, it was nothing really. Just a difference in opinion.”
Dumbledore nodded. “Such things will happen. Mr Lupin, I wonder if you would
come with me for a bit.”
The three other boys stared at him worriedly and Remus smiled. “It’s okay,
guys. He’s just going to show me the arrangements for when I get bad,” he
reassured and he waited for their nods before he followed Dumbledore out of the
room.
The two of them walked across the grounds to a huge tree and a waiting woman.
Remus had noticed the tree, he could see it from a window in the Great Hall and
one in the dorm.
Remus was introduced to Madame Pomfrey, the school nurse, and then the two
adults showed him how hard it was to get into the tunnel. You had to touch a
branch to just the right spot on the tree trunk to get it to stop moving. The
tunnel itself was very long, steep at both ends, and uneven underfoot. The
house at the end of the tunnel was a nice house, there was even a bedroom in it
for him.
The two adults explained how it was all going to work once Remus filled them in
on what his new friends knew, what he had told them. They told him that on day
one of his change, Madame Pomfrey would escort him through the tunnel to the
house and ensure the trapdoor was secure before the moon rose. During the three
changes, he would be able to tear through the house as much as the wolf
desired, all the windows and doors had been charmed so he couldn’t get out.
During his human hours, a house elf would bring him three meals a day and he
would stay in the house. He agreed that was the best plan. It fit with the lies
he had told and it wasn’t a good idea for him to be around his friends while
his wolf instinct was so strong. He could be really mean on those days. Every
morning, Madame Pomfrey would come and patch him up, and she assured him he
could say whatever he liked to her, she would understand it wasn’t really him
saying it. He would only be allowed to leave the Shrieking Shack, as it was
nicknamed, the morning after his third change. Only the teachers and other
members of staff knew what he really was, and Dumbledore would inform them all
of Remus’ cover story at the next mornings staff meeting.
It was all very ordered, and Remus thanked them both profusely, before he was
escorted back to Gryffindor Tower. He slipped into his bed, after assuring his
friends that he was all right, and slowly drifted off to sleep.
Before he actually succumbed to slumber, he happened upon the realisation that
he wasn’t homesick. He did miss his parents, but the transition from home to
school had been so smooth, it wasn’t that hard at all to get along without
them.
He would see them in the holidays. And, besides, he had his friends.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
As it turned out, Fabian was an identical twin. Remus had trouble telling
Fabian and his brother Gideon apart, but he liked them all the same.
It was a bright Saturday morning and the two older boys were leading the four
younger ones down to Hagrid’s hut. They talked as they walked and the four
friends filled the two brothers in on their first week of lessons.
Remus loved Defence Against the Dark Arts, and he quite liked Potions too. He
found his lessons to be wonderful, and so interesting that he never once got
bored. James was more a fan of Transfiguration, though he wasn’t bad at any of
their subjects. Sirius was a lover of Charms and, unsurprisingly, pretty good
at everything too. The Purebloods explained that families like theirs liked to
teach their children magic young, so Sirius and James were pretty well versed
in everything they were learning, but it was nice to go over it again.
Peter, unfortunately, didn’t seem to be good at any subject, despite his family
teaching him young. He had managed to have an accident in every single class
and actually managed to send James to the hospital wing in Charms. He got a
little carried away trying to make his feather float and sent James hurtling
across the room, right into a bookcase that fell on him.
Remus was only half listening to the conversation. His stomach was churning at
the thought of coming face to face with a dog, let alone two. Dogs could smell
what he was, and they didn’t like it. Accordingly, they attacked him to try and
get rid of the apparent threat. He hoped the twins were as fast as they looked.
“Are you sure Mr Hagrid will be all right with us just turning up?” Remus asked
nervously and Gideon smiled. He only knew it was Gideon because Fabian was the
one with the Prefects badge, Gideon the one without.
“He’ll be fine with it, he likes visitors,” Gideon assured.
“Yeah, he’ll think it great fun to have four new ones to try his cakes on.
Honestly, just pretend to eat them or something, don’t actually try it, you’ll
lose teeth,” Fabian said.
Remus nerves reached a fever pitch as they reached the front door of the hut,
and he was about to say he didn’t feel well so he could go back, get away, but
he never got the chance as a huge boarhound came charging at them, headed for
Remus.
The other five boys watched the dog approach and then the twins stepped back in
confusion as it pounced on Remus, sinking its teeth into his arm as he raised
them to defend himself.
Remus was screaming in pain and Sirius didn’t like the sound one little bit.
The twins were wrestling with the dog, trying to get it off Remus, but it held
tight, sinking its teeth in even further. Merlin, there was so much blood. If
he had thought Remus bled a lot from a split lip, he was sorely mistaken. That
had been nothing.
Hagrid arrived and pried the dogs jaws open, freeing Remus and keeping a tight
hold on Honeyduke the dog, scolding him while watching in shock. Fabian and
Gideon stepped back in horror at the bleeding, and Peter looked like he was
about to throw up, but Sirius and James rushed forwards.
Remus was crying in front of his new friends and his shirt was ruined and the
dog was still growling at him and…and…oh, it just wasn’t fair. He should have
just declined the offer to see the puppy. He knew Hagrid knew what he really
was, and if Hagrid had known he was coming he would have tied the dog up or
something.
James propped Remus up and Sirius carefully tried to take a look at the arm,
but Remus wouldn’t let him touch it. Merlin, he didn’t blame him. It looked
like it hurt. A lot.
“Remus, you have to let me see,” Sirius said and, after a moment, Remus nodded.
Sirius gently pulled the arm away from the thin chest and pulled back what was
left of the sleeve. He couldn’t even see the wound, there was so much blood.
And if he couldn’t see the wound, he couldn’t heal it. “I can’t see, James.”
James looked over to the twins. “Fab, he needs to see the wound to heal it. Can
we take Remus into Hagrid’s hut, can he tie up the dogs or something?”
Hagrid grabbed Honeyduke and secured him to a post, and then fetched Zonko and
tied her too. He scooped up Fang the puppy and tied it with its parents. James
and Sirius helped Remus up and guided him into the hut, sitting him at the
table. He had managed to stop crying, that was good, in his opinion.
Hagrid plonked a bowl of warm water and a few cloths on the table and stood
back. The boys appeared to know what they were doing, best not to get in their
way. The little one was bleeding a hell of a lot. Hagrid had never met a
werewolf, which he found odd with all the weird friends he had. Maybe this
bleeding was normal. He’d ask Dumbledore later. All the adults in the school
were supposed to keep an eye on Remus while he settled in, make sure he was
adjusting, that his inner wolf took the change well. This was probably not the
best thing to happen. Ah well, Hagrid just counted himself lucky the wolf
hadn’t flared and made the little one attack Honeyduke back. He wouldn’t have a
dog left if that had happened, he knew that much at least.
“At least I got to see the puppy,” Remus joked as Sirius pressed a cloth to his
arm, he and James holding pressure on it.
“Yeah, but an arm is too much to pay for a pet,” Peter joked back.
Within seconds the cloth was soaked and the boys pressed a fresh one to his
arm, though Sirius had managed to get a look at the bite as they swapped the
cloths.
“Why is he bleeding like that?” Fabian asked worriedly.
“Shouldn’t it slow a little with pressure?” Gideon suggested.
“My blood doesn’t work properly,” Remus said simply and the two redheads
nodded. “Don’t worry, the guys know what to do.”
“All right, James, on three,” Sirius said, pulling out his wand.
“One…two…three, now!”
The cloth was yanked away and a speedy healing charm muttered. The skin knitted
back together, and Remus had to throw up before his arm could be sponged clean.
Hagrid handed him a bucket to vomit into, and James explained his illness to
the twins while Sirius rubbed his back, telling him it was better out than in.
“I’m okay now,” Remus said and Hagrid took the bucket back outside. James and
Peter took the twins outside to give Remus some privacy while he cleaned up,
though they said they were going to get a better look at the puppy.
Remus’ hand shook as he reached for a cloth to clean his arm with. Damn, it was
only a week before the moon. He hated the shakes, they were horrible. It was
because the wolf in him was getting stronger, his human weaker. It made his
hands shake, and him restless. Give it a few more days and he would look like
the drug addicts that sometimes tried to drink in The Shamrock before they
found out that Big Jim wouldn’t let them.
Sirius saw the shaking and grabbed the cloth, soaked it in water and began
sponging Remus’ arm for him. “Your hands were shaking like that yesterday. Does
it mean you’re getting worse?” he asked.
“Yes. I usually get restless as well before I get bad, some weird reaction
thing. It’s like I have this excess energy all built up inside and then I
crash. When I crash, that’s when I’m bad.”
“Is there anything we can do to help?”
Remus smiled. “You’re helping already.”
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Sirius paced the dorm, waiting. He had tried reading, but he couldn’t get the
words to sink in. Not even Remus’ muggle books could hold his attention.
Remus had not come back from visiting Madame Pomfrey after dinner.
“Have you seen him?” Sirius questioned James and Peter as they came in from
their heated chess game in the common room.
“Seen who?” Peter asked.
“Remus. He didn’t come back,” Sirius said and their faces dropped.
“But it’s gone midnight,” James said. “Lets go tell Fab, he’ll know what to
do.”
Together they all raced up to the fifth year boys room and knocked. A black
haired boy peered sleepily at them as he opened the door a crack.
“What do you want?” he croaked.
“We need Fabian Prewett,” James said.
“He’s asleep, like you should be,” he said, moving to close the door, but
Sirius jammed his foot in the way. “Listen, boys, I know it’s tough getting
used to sleeping here, but it’ll be all right. Just go to bed, we’ll see you in
the morning.”
“We’re not having trouble getting used to it here. Our friend is missing, he
didn’t come back from dinner,” Peter said.
“What’s his name?”
“Remus Lupin,” James supplied
“The little one Fab said was sick?”
“Yeah,” Sirius confirmed. “That’s why we’re worried.”
“All right, wait here.”
The boy disappeared and a moment later, Fabian peered out at them. “What are
you all doing? Do you know what time it is?”
“We’re sorry to wake you, Fab, really we are, but Remus didn’t come back from
dinner and we didn’t know what else to do,” James said.
Fabian nodded and disappeared for a moment before he emerged, pulling on his
shirt and pinning his Prefects badge to it.
“How’s he been feeling lately?” Fabian asked as they went down to the common
room.
“Not good. He’s had the shakes and been restless,” Sirius revealed.
“How long?”
“Since Honeyduke bit him, maybe the day before that. Do you think he’s okay?”
“I don’t know. Stay here, you can’t walk the halls at night. I’ll go to
Pomfrey, or McGonagall, see if I can find out what happened to him. Try not to
worry, if he is bad, they’ll be taking good care of him,” Fabian said before he
slipped out of the portrait hole.
Fabian didn’t return for an hour, and when he did he brought McGonagall with
him.
“I’m sorry, boys, one of us should have come to you sooner,” she said. “Mr
Lupin is having one of his bad patches. He won’t be returning to the Tower for
a few days.”
“We’ll go to the Hospital Wing and see him tomorrow,” Sirius said but she shook
her head.
“No, Mr Black, you may not visit your friend. Mr Lupin has requested that you
do not visit him. Mr Prewett will explain all to you. For now, I suggest you go
to bed.”
McGonagall left the common room and Fabian explained to them that Remus had
asked that they stay away, claiming he didn’t want them to see him when he was
so bad. They respected that, and agreed to stay away.
The only problem was, Fabian hadn’t found Remus in the Hospital Wing, and they
saw Madame Pomfrey walking towards the Whomping Willow as the sun came up.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Remus disappeared on Monday night and was waiting for them at breakfast on
Thursday morning.
Talking to Severus.
“Remus! Are you okay?” Peter asked as he and James sat down either side of him.
“And what do you want, Snivellus?” Sirius spat, standing behind the Slytherin.
“None of your business, Black,” Severus snarled, glaring at him over his
shoulder.
“Stop it,” Remus said shakily. He really didn’t feel up to watching a fight. If
it kicked off, his wolf would have something to say about it. “Guys, I’m fine,
just tired. They took good care of me, and I’m much better now. Sirius, Severus
was just telling me that he took some notes for me. We’re going to go over them
after lunch, during the free period.”
“Exactly,” Severus concurred before he turned on his heel and swept away to the
Slytherin table.
“That guy really gets on my last nerve,” Sirius grumbled as he sat down. He
softened as Remus cast a questioning glance at him. “You sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine, really, just tired. I have to ask though, what is up with you and
Severus?” Remus queried.
Sirius glanced at James, who gave him a almost imperceptible shake of the head.
No, they couldn’t tell Remus. It wasn’t the right time, not while their
friendship was so new. The relationship was too shaky, too uncertain. Remus
would not understand, he couldn’t. So, instead of trusting the smaller boy, he
shook his head and lied.
“I just have an issue with anyone on my family’s side,” Sirius said and it
seemed to be enough for Remus, because he gave the Pureblood a small smile and
enquired about what he had missed.
“You missed Peter sending McGonagall to the Infirmary with a head the size of a
pumpkin.”
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
The school year was mostly uneventful. Peter managed to send all their
professors to the hospital wing at least twice, James and Sirius racked up more
detentions than they knew what to do with, and Remus managed to keep his
secret. His monthly changes seemed to get easier as the year went on, as if
some unseen force was making the infection more controlled. Christmas and
Easter, Remus stayed at Hogwarts and his parents visited him to see how he was
getting on. Peter and James went home for the breaks, but Sirius stayed,
claiming he wanted to see what a Hogwarts Christmas was like and he just
couldn’t be bothered to pack to go home for Easter.
During the summer holidays, James invited Remus to stay at his house for a few
weeks, but he couldn’t go, not with his condition, so his father had told
Remus’ friends that they had family coming for the summer, and Remus was needed
at home, his mother had fallen ill. The three friends saw no reason to question
an adult, so they left it alone.
Their second year began, and Sirius was the first student of the year to
receive a Howler, after his brother, Regulus, was Sorted into Slytherin. Sirius
rather enjoyed hearing what his father would come up with next, and gleefully
waited until it burst into flames at the breakfast table, chuckling at the
screamed words of disappointment and toasting marshmallows while the letter
burned. His smile at the angry magically amplified words seemed to infuriate
the Slytherin’s. Lucius and his gang, joined now by Regulus, challenged the
Gryffindor’s at least three times a week, and Remus had come to learn just how
fast Sirius could be when he wanted to. The Slytherin’s usually came off with a
trip to the Hospital Wing, and James, Peter and Sirius landed in detention for
responding to the verbal insults. Remus managed to avoid most of the
detentions, he usually kept his mouth shut.
James made the Quidditch team as their new Seeker, and it seemed to irritate
Severus no end. Remus couldn’t work out why it bothered him so much, it wasn’t
like he liked riding a broom, let alone the sport itself. It didn’t bother
James, and Remus found himself among the four most popular boys in school.
Everyone wanted to spend time with them, and Remus was never short of offers to
go on a date, if he had so desired. It was rather nice, being popular. James
was the star attraction, of course, but he never let his three friends feel
left out. They became the coolest kids in school, and even the teachers seemed
to have a soft spot for them.
Remus continued to spend time in the Library with Severus, much to his friends
annoyance, but they didn’t say anything to Remus about it, so he didn’t stop.
Lily spent time with Severus too, and James seemed to take a personal offence
at it, thus his bickering with the girl became worse, and Severus became as
hated by James as he was by Sirius, though Remus didn’t know why Sirius hated
his study buddy. Peter seemed undecided, and worked with Severus when he had
to, not finding any problems apart from his lack of control over his magic.
Poor Severus usually ended up with an exploding cauldron and a trip to Madame
Pomfrey, which James and Sirius found hilarious.
In fact, it was all rather uneventful until Halloween week. Now, Sirius and
James were no fools. They knew that Remus was hiding something, just as well as
they knew they were hiding something too. Peter had realised it too, he was a
slow boy, but he wasn’t blind. No one had found Remus in the Hospital Wing
during his supposed bad patches. And they couldn’t help but notice Madame
Pomfrey making many trips to the Whomping Willow. The three boys didn’t
question Remus about it, and Remus didn’t suspect that they knew he was lying.
They understood that there was something Remus was hiding, and he must be
hiding it for a good reason, so they left it alone.
It would have been perfect, if Sirius hadn’t been an insomniac. He didn’t
sleep, it was as simple as that. He got by on no more than twenty minutes a
night, and he spent his waking nocturnal hours reading Remus’ muggle books.
He often glanced up at the night sky, and he couldn’t help noticing the big
bright full moon whenever Remus’ bed lay empty.
So, Halloween weekend came, and Sirius told James and Peter his theory. Sat by
themselves at one end of the Gryffindor table during the Halloween feast. They
scoffed at him, of course, it seemed like a ludicrous suggestion but they
agreed to investigate where Madame Pomfrey kept going. It was just lucky that
James had an Invisibility Cloak.
Halloween night came, night three of Remus missing, and the three boys slipped
away after the matron, concealing themselves beneath the Cloak and watching as
she emerged from a hidden tunnel in the base of the Whomping Willow. Little did
they know, they had been overheard, and spotted reappearing from under the
magical fabric.
“What are you doing?”
The boys spun around and breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of Lily Evans
holding a lantern.
“For the love of Merlin, you scared us half to death!” James hissed. “Be quiet
or we’re going to get caught!”
“You should get caught!” she snapped in a whisper.
“Evans, look, we’re just trying to…” Sirius began, but she cut him off.
“I know what you’re doing,” she said. “I heard you, Black, you and your theory.
Remus Lupin a werewolf? You’re nuts! Remus can’t be a werewolf, he just can’t.”
“Why not?” Sirius argued.
“Oh, come off it! He’s sweet and kind and gentle. Does that sound like a dark
creature to you?”
“No, but he is hiding something. So are the teachers. Come on, Evans, we’re
just going to find out how to get into that tunnel, have a quick peek, and then
go back to bed,” James said.
She stared at them for a moment before she sighed. “Fine, but I’m coming too.
And there better be room under that Cloak for me when we go back to Gryffindor
Tower. Hang on, what tunnel?”
They showed it to her and told her what they had seen Pomfrey do. The four
second years spent the night trying different spots on the tree with twigs they
made levitate. It took so long because it was a very large tree and the wind
kept blowing their twigs off course. That and the Willow kept taking a swing at
them.
Finally, it was Peter that found the right spot. The four of them landed in a
heap at the bottom and slowly made their way along the tunnel, occasionally
stepping on toes and losing their footing. As it began to approach dawn, the
tunnel finally began to curve upwards.
“Ouch! That was my foot, Potter!” Lily cried.
“Shout it a little louder, I don’t think Dumbledore heard you!” he snarled
back.
“Well, if you would just look where you’re going, I wouldn’t have to yell!”
“If you would just keep your big feet out of my way, I wouldn’t step on them!”
“Why you little-!”
“Shut up, both of you,” Sirius hissed. “There’s a trapdoor.”
They approached it and Peter noticed Lily hung back, poking at something she
had found on the floor.
“What’s that?” the blond boy asked.
“I think it’s clothes,” she said, getting a better look at them by the lighted
tip of her wand. “It is clothes, and they’ve got Remus’ name stitched in. Oh,
you know what, I don’t think this is a good idea. If Remus is in there, he’s
not going to want us poking our noses in.”
“Go back then,” James spat. “No one’s stopping you. In fact, we’d be glad of
the silence.”
“No way! You promised to take me back under your Cloak. Without it, I’ll be
caught,” she argued. She looked at the three boys, then the clothes, then the
trapdoor. “Fine. But if Remus bites our heads off, I’m blaming you, Potter.”
“No one-”
Whatever James had started to say evaporated as a tortured howl came from above
them. Sirius raised the trapdoor a few millimetres and glanced in, beckoning
them closer so they could see too.
They now knew exactly what was in the supposedly haunted Shrieking Shack.
Prowling around inside, throwing itself around, biting and clawing itself, was
a sandy brown werewolf, and Sirius was crushed that he had not been wrong about
his friend.
“Oh my God!” Lily whispered. “What the hell is a wolf doing in there?”
“That’s not a wolf, Evans. Look at the snout. Those markings, the ones that
look like stripes, they’re the mark of a werewolf. All werewolves have them,
it’s how you tell them apart,” Sirius whispered back. “And the tail, it’s all
tufty.”
“The sun’s rising,” James pointed out.
The four of them watched as the wolf froze, letting out the most painful sound
they had ever heard. And then it began to transform. It was horrific to watch.
The fur receded back into pale skin, bones snapped and reformed, blood poured
from the gashes and bite marks, and when it was over, Remus Lupin was lying in
the middle of the floor, curled up in a ball. He was bleeding terribly, and he
was sobbing in agony. It was heartbreaking, the breathless gasping sobs
emanating from the thin battered boy.
“Let’s go,” Lily hissed, but it proved to be their undoing.
Remus froze, his latest sob catching in his throat. He could hear four
heartbeats, and four sets of breathing, and there was a hissed whisper. He
could smell them too, four of them, three male, one female. He couldn’t
distinguish who they were, but if he could hear and smell them, that meant the
trapdoor was open, the enchantment on it broken, and someone had seen him. He
wondered what teachers it was.
“Who’s there?” he called out shakily. The females breath hitched. “Come on, I
can hear you and smell you. Whoever you are, come out.”
None of them moved and his temper snapped, the wolf still so close to the
surface controlling it.
“Get your fucking arses out here or I swear to fucking God, I am coming to find
you, and when I do, I’m eating you all! RAW!” he roared and there was a moment
of still silence, before the trapdoor creaked open, and Remus’ world fell
apart.
Sirius was the first to come through, then James, followed by Lily, Peter
bringing up the rear. Sirius watched Remus’ mouth drop open in horror, tears
filling his eyes.
“You don’t have a blood disorder, do you?” Sirius asked and Remus shook his
head, dissolving into fresh sobs.
“I get that you don’t want to be my friends anymore, but please don’t tell
anyone what I am,” Remus begged, looking at them with pleading eyes. “If you
tell, I can’t stay, I’ll have to leave Hogwarts. Please, don’t tell.”
The four looked at each other and nodded. Lily shoved the clothes she had found
at James and conjured a bowl of warm water and some clean cloths.
“What makes you think we don’t want to be your friends?” Peter asked and Remus
stared at them.
“Let us clean you up, Remus, you’re an awful mess,” Sirius said and Remus
flinched as he tried to touch him.
“Please, not yet. You have to wait for the wolf to calm before you can touch
me, or I’ll hurt you,” Remus whispered, still in shock.
Sirius nodded and knelt beside him, grabbing the clothes from James and handing
them to his friend. “Just answer me this. Did you really think we’d hate you
for this?”
Remus gaped at him. “Of course. I know what wizards think of werewolves. You
all think we’re disgusting dark creatures, all savage, even in human form. I
have been in lessons, you know. I’ve read the books, heard the way the student
population talks about werewolves. You’ve all heard too much about Greyback,”
he said as he wriggled into his boxers, Lily turning away to give him some
privacy.
James smiled. “Well, yeah, but we know you. You’re not like they claim
werewolves to be. Is he, Evans?”
“No, you’re not. You’re sweet and kind, you’re brighter than all of us put
together, you love vanilla fudge, and you always give people a fair chance,”
she said, making Remus smile dazedly. “We assumed it was the infection that
made werewolves savage, but now we know it’s the person, not the condition.”
Remus couldn’t believe it. They knew and they weren’t turning away. He had
assumed, after hearing the way the students all talked about werewolves, that
his friends would turn away if they knew. But here they were, and they weren’t
turning away. They were proclaiming how nice he was, and Sirius wanted to clean
him up.
“You really still want to be my friends?” he questioned as he gave Sirius a
nod.
Lily came forwards and Sirius mopped down Remus’ back, trying to get a clear
view of the damage. He pulled out his wand and healed the ones he got a good
look at, then set to the others. James was the one to answer for them.
“Depends,” the spectacle wearing boy said.
“On what?” Remus mumbled.
“On if this is the only secret you have,” Peter finished.
“This is it. There isn’t anything else, I swear.”
“Good, because that tunnel is a pain in the arse,” James said. “We don’t fancy
traipsing after you again.”
“It is good then, that Mr Lupin has no other secrets.”
They all spun around to find Dumbledore, McGonagall and Pomfrey staring at
them. The adults didn’t look happy, and the children couldn’t blame them.
“Mr Prewett and Mr Prewett went to your room last night to check on you, boys,
make sure you had made it back to Gryffindor Tower. They did see you looking
very suspicious at the feast,” Albus began, watching the guilty looks, all
except Sirius, who was wholly focussed on healing Remus. Albus held up a hand
to stop Poppy Pomfrey from taking over. Hagrid had informed Albus of Sirius’
skill with a healing charm, and he rather wanted to see it himself.
“Imagine their surprise when you did not return all night,” McGonagall
continued. “Alarmed, Fabian had a female Prefect check on the girls. Imagine
his continued surprise when he finds Miss Evans missing also. Naturally,
considering your problems with the Slytherin’s, the boys were worried for all
of you, so Fabian came and woke me.”
“Can you picture how worried we were?” Dumbledore said. “Can you think what it
looked like? Now you know the truth of Mr Lupin, you can understand why we were
so concerned.”
“Yes, sir,” they chorused.
“And you all realise how very dangerous this could have been?” McGonagall
asked.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“And you all understand that you may not tell anyone of this? None of your
other friends, or your parents, not even a pet. It must stay within the five of
you, you know that, do you not? If Mr Lupin were to be discovered, it would be
impossible for him to remain a student of this school,” Albus questioned. “Many
parents would not want their children to be associating with a supposed dark
creature. As Mr Lupin pointed out, people have heard too much of Fenrir
Greyback.”
“We won’t tell anyone, honest,” Peter said.
“Not a soul,” James said.
“Take it to the grave,” Sirius said distractedly as he marvelled at a bite mark
covering Remus’ shoulder. He didn’t know anyone else who could bite their own
shoulder.
“Who am I to tell? It’s not my secret, not me that has to live with it. I know
when to keep my trap shut,” Lily said.
Albus smiled and looked at Remus. “Well, Remus? Shall I let them keep their
memories?”
Remus looked at each of his friends and then at his headmaster. “If you could
let them keep them, I would appreciate it. I don’t fancy them sneaking down the
tunnel again, I might eat them next time. They’re a nosy bunch, you know.
They’re bound to figure it out again,” he said, making all of them laugh.
As Remus was cleaned up and then checked over by Madame Pomfrey, the three
adults helped him fill the four Gryffindor’s in on everything, explaining every
lie, every odd occurrence, every weird personality moment. They were allowed to
ask any questions they wanted and in turn they found out the whole story.
When Remus had been bitten and by who, the real reason he had been pulled out
of primary school, what his uncles knew, how he handled it at home, the truth
about werewolves, and everything in between. The Shack was explained, the
tunnel, the Whomping Willow. The four students agreed that it was best if no
one else found out about Remus, that he was too vulnerable for the Slytherin’s
to get wind of his condition, and proclaimed very loudly that they would help
protect him, help him hide his furry little problem, as James dubbed it.
By the time they had finished, it was well after lunch, and Remus was allowed
to leave with his friends, though Dumbledore had to ensure they were not
spotted.
As Remus made his way back to the school, he found he felt lighter than he had
his whole time at Hogwarts, and smiled his first true smile as Lily called
James an ogre.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Remus didn’t feel his four friends sit down around him. It was a rainy April
afternoon and Remus couldn’t understand the way he felt.
His eyes were fixed upon Gideon and his latest squeeze, Amelia Tolkins. The two
of them were cuddled up in the window seat, apparently able to survive without
oxygen, if their kissing marathon was anything to go by.
But it wasn’t their long kisses that baffled Remus. It was the fact that he
couldn’t see himself kissing a girl. Ever. But he could picture himself kissing
Gideon quite clearly.
“Hello, Hogwarts to Remus, anyone in there?” James called, waving a hand in
front of the werewolf’s face. Remus blinked and looked around, noticing that he
had company. “You okay?”
“Fine, I’m fine,” Remus said, a little too quickly.
The four of them glanced over to where Remus had been staring and Peter
sniggered. “How long have they been going at it?” the blond asked.
“Fourty eight minutes,” Fabian revealed as he joined them, holding a stopwatch.
“My bet is on an hour and a half, what do you say?”
“Five more minutes, no longer,” Lily said. “They have to come up for air
sometime.”
“No way, two hours, minimum,” Sirius said. “I can say from experience that you
can breathe and kiss at the same time.”
Ah yes, everyone knew Sirius was a heartbreaker. Male or female, older or
younger, any house but Slytherin, Sirius had dated more than a few and he
hadn’t even turned thirteen yet. His reputation as the stud of the school
pissed Lucius off no end. Sirius had received many Howlers about it from his
father, but it had just made him worse. Not a week went by when Sirius did not
have a new partner, or three. That he never had any complaints was the really
impressive thing.
“I’m with Sirius,” James said. “Remus, you in?”
“No, I’m not into betting,” Remus said dismissively. He tried to pull his eyes
away from the redhead and his girlfriend but he couldn’t.
Fabian handed Peter the stopwatch. “Keep an eye on them, I want to know how
long he makes it,” the redhead said and then fixed his attentions on Remus.
“Remus, do you have a crush on Melia?”
“What? No!” the werewolf denied.
Sirius smiled. “Is it Gid you have the hots for?”
“No, I don’t have the hots for anyone,” he said. Oh dear, their eyes were
narrowing. Hang on, they were his friends, they had handled the truth about
him, and Sirius was bisexual, he thinks, and Fabian never poked fun at anyone.
“I’m confused.”
This got James’ attention. “You? Confused? Not possible,” the Pureblood said.
“Remus, you don’t get confused, it just doesn’t happen.”
Remus sniggered. “Well, it has.” He took a deep breath. “I think I’m gay,” he
said quietly and waited for the peals of laughter.
No one laughed. Quite the opposite in fact. They immediately looked concerned
and tried to help him figure it out.
“What makes you think that?” Fabian asked.
Fabian was gay himself. He knew just how hard it could be to figure out your
sexuality. It wasn’t always as easy as just knowing. Sometimes it could be very
confusing for a boy to discover he was different, that he wanted something
different. Fabian remembered all too well how he had envied Gideon when he was
confused about his own sexuality. Gideon was so sure of his love for the female
form, the thought of snogging a guy never entered his head. Fabian, on the
other hand, had spent most of his third year and half of his fourth confused
and embarrassed by the communal showers.
“I just feel it. I can’t imagine kissing a girl, but I can imagine kissing a
boy,” Remus said. “And I don’t feel the same for girls. I like them, just not
like that.”
Sirius and Lily shared a look before giving each other a definitive nod. “Right
then. We’re your friends, aren’t we, Remus?” Lily asked.
“Yes. You’re all my friends. Why?” he replied cautiously.
“Me and Evans are each going to kiss you. If you don’t feel anything kissing
this lovely lady, but you feel something kissing me, then you’ll know you’re
gay. If you feel something for her and not me, you’re straight. If you feel for
both, you’re bi,” Sirius said and Remus burst out laughing.
“Fab, one hour, two minutes and thirteen seconds,” Peter said, handing Fabian
the stopwatch.
“Damn it,” Fabian said. “Evans was the closest.”
“Too bad, Fab. Guess you lost again, huh?” said Gideon as he draped himself
over his twins shoulders, Amelia moving away to join some of her friends. “Did
I hear that right? Evans and Black are going to kiss Lupin?”
“Only if he wants to try it,” Lily said.
“Why are you going to kiss them?” Gideon asked Remus.
Remus went bright red but he was saved from answering.
“Remus is confused, like I was,” Fabian said and Gideon nodded. “Wish I’d had
friends like this when I was trying to figure it out.”
“Yeah, mum wouldn’t have accused you of being a miserable little whatsit so
often if you had,” Gideon joked.
“So, up for it?” Sirius said cheerfully to Remus. “It won’t mean anything, it’s
just a… what do you call it?… a scientific experiment, two friends helping
another friend out.”
“Hang on, what if he feels nothing for either of you?” Peter put in.
“Not possible,” the twins said in unison.
“We concur that Sirius and Lily are the two most good looking second years,”
Gideon said.
“He has to feel something for one of them,” Fabian agreed.
Remus couldn’t take it anymore. The twins talking together made his head spin,
and he was confused enough already. James had been right, Remus getting
confused didn’t happen very often, and he didn’t like it. Enough was enough. He
had been questioning this for weeks. If snogging his friends was the way to get
answers, so be it. They had offered, after all.
“All right,” Remus said.
Sirius pulled Remus to his feet and James decided that Lily would go first.
Remus found himself mildly curious, but not nervous. Lily gave him a small
smile before she leaned in, putting her hands on his shoulders.
It wasn’t disgusting, kissing Lily, but it wasn’t nice either. It felt kind of
odd, her lips on his, and he could taste the strawberry lip balm she used. He
put his hands on her waist and closed his eyes, like Gideon had done with
Amelia, but it didn’t make it any better. Her kiss was soft and gentle, but it
wasn’t hesitant. It just was. She pulled back and smiled at him.
“Anything?” she questioned.
“Sorry, Lily. You’re beautiful, and I like spending time with you. But there
was nothing,” he said.
“No problem. Probably for the best anyway. Can we not tell Jason about this?”
she requested and they all nodded. Jason Dean, the Ravenclaw she had been
dating for the last few weeks, would not be jealous. He would be intrigued and
plague them all with questions. Ah, the wonders of the Ravenclaw’s.
“All right, Sirius next,” James said.
Remus found himself very nervous as Sirius moved close to him. Oh, this was
new, this feeling of his insides turning to mush. Sirius’ kiss was different
from Lily’s. It was more passionate, on Remus’ part anyway. Sirius took
complete control, cradling the back of Remus’ head and possessing his lips with
his own. Now Remus knew why Sirius never got any complaints, he kissed like a
god. Sirius’ other hand was on the base of Remus’ spine, and it felt quite nice
to have it there. Remus laid his hands on Sirius’ shoulders and kissed back,
feeling Sirius smile into it. When Sirius pulled away, Remus had all the
answers he had been looking for, and he could proudly say that he had been
kissed by the Hogwarts Stud.
“Figured everything out?” Sirius questioned as he took a step back.
James sniggered at the silly smile Remus was wearing as he flopped back down
into his seat. “I think he’s on Fab’s team, not Gid’s.”
“You two are very good friends,” Remus said with a smile. “I’m not confused
anymore.”
“Damn, I should have called the Prophet while I had the chance,” James teased
and Remus hit him with a cushion. “I’m kidding! No, it’s good you figured
things out. You okay now?”
“Absolutely,” Remus said and then frowned. “Scratch that, I am not absolutely
okay. How am I going to tell my muggle dad that his only son is gay?”
“I suggest having a stiff drink to hand,” Gideon offered with a grin at his
brother.
Fabian laughed. “Our mum did the whole bottle of scotch for the shock when I
told her about me. She was fine with it after she dealt with her hangover.”
Remus laughed along with the rest of them, but his mind was already churning
with what his dad would say. He couldn’t put it in a letter, and the Easter
break had gone already. He would wait until he went home for summer. Maybe it
was something best done in person.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
John smirked over the carburettor he was working on. Remus had been staring at
the same page for the last hour.
“What’s so funny?”
John jumped as Anne whispered in his ear. “You trying to give me a heart
attack, woman?” he hissed.
“No,” she giggled, kissing his cheek. “Sorry, dear. So, what is so funny?”
“Remus. Look at him.”
“Is he still on that page?”
“Yup. Somethings bothering him. He’s been quiet since I picked him up from
Kings Cross,” John said.
She sighed. “Me or you?”
“It’s my turn, you dealt with the problems of him being smaller than everyone
else,” John said and she nodded, returning to her potions making. John wiped
off his hands of oil and made his way over to his thirteen year old.
“Hi, dad,” Remus said as John sat down next to him. “Finished with the
carburettor?”
“Not quite. Thought I’d take a break and have a chat with my son. You’ve been
away for months,” John said and Remus stuck his bookmark in the novel he had
been pretending to read.
“What do you want to talk about?” Remus said, curling his knees up to his
chest.
“How about we talk about what’s bothering you?”
Remus paled. He had been so careful, how had his father guessed? Wait, hold on
a moment, he couldn’t have guessed. So Remus still had time to sidetrack him.
“Nothing’s bothering me,” Remus said.
“Come on, I’m your dad. I know when something’s wrong with you. So what is it?”
“Nothing, there’s nothing.”
John sighed. All right, John was going to have to worm it out of him. Maybe he
should have told Anne to handle this one. Maybe it wasn’t too late, Anne was
listening from the stove, maybe he could call her over.
“Dad, there is something,” Remus said quietly. “But I don’t know how to tell
you.”
John peered at his son. “All right. Have you been kicked out of school?”
“No, and Professor Dumbledore would have sent you a letter if that happened.”
“Good point. Have you failed one of your classes?”
“No.”
“Had a falling out with one of your friends? Did one of them have a problem
with what you are?”
“No. My friends are great, they really are. They all took it really well.”
John was running out of ideas. “Is there a problem with your infection? Should
we be calling Madame Pomfrey?”
“No, it’s not that. It’s not school, or my friends, or my illness.”
John ran his fingers through his hair. Damn, this was more difficult than he
thought. How did Anne make this look so easy?
“Okay, Remus, here’s the thing. I’m not as good at the parent thing as your
mum. So, you’re going to have to help me out here. Whatever it is, you can tell
me. There is nothing I can’t handle. Wizard, werewolf, whatever, I can handle
it all. So, just tell me,” John said and he watched as Remus chewed at his
lower lip.
Remus couldn’t hide it. His parents had always been there for him, he wanted to
tell them. But his father was a muggle, he didn’t know of a single muggle who
accepted gay people.
“Dad, I…” Remus said, and then he stopped. Damn it, why couldn’t he just get
the words out?
“Come on, you can tell me,” John urged.
Remus took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Dad, I’m gay.”
The silence was deafening.
“Well…ummm…” John spluttered.
“Dad, I swear, I didn’t choose to be like this. And I didn’t do this on
purpose, I promise. Please, don’t hate me, daddy, please,” Remus begged, his
tears falling. He couldn’t stop them. His dad was his hero, and now he was
going to lose him because of something he couldn’t control.
John smiled and pulled Remus into a hug. He was pleased to feel that Remus was
still small enough to fit into it.
“Remus, I don’t hate you. You’re my son, I love you. Hey now, come on, my sweet
little wolf, it’s all right. Come on, look at me,” John soothed, pulling Remus
away. Tear filled amber eyes blinked up at him.
“You…you don’t hate me?” Remus asked.
“No, I don’t. Just answer a few things for me. Are you happy being gay?” Remus
nodded. “And you know that if you have sex with a wizard you and him can get
pregnant, don’t you?” Another nod. “And you can’t tell any muggles, you know
that don’t you?”
“I know, dad. It’s illegal in your world, so I can’t tell any of my uncles. I
can’t tell anyone, I understand that.”
John nodded. “Right then. What do you fancy for dinner?”
Remus gaped for a moment, before he found his voice once more. “You’re okay
with it?”
“Remus, it’s not a choice you made, it’s just the way you are. Your mum
explained it all to me when we got together. It’s okay in your world, I know
that. It’s fine,” John reassured, kissing Remus on the forehead. “So, dinner?
How about we go to Chris and get you some cod and chips?”
Remus couldn’t stop smiling. “Okay.”
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Sirius knocked on the door and waited. He, James, Peter and Lily had been
invited to stay at Remus’ house for the whole of August, and they were all
excited. The boys had never stayed in a muggle house before, and Lily had never
stayed at a friends house before. They were all looking forward to the next few
weeks.
Only problem was, there didn’t seem to be anyone at home.
“Are you sure we’ve got the right house?” Lily asked.
“Number fourteen,” James said, checking his letter from Remus once more. “We’ve
got the right house. Really, do you think we’re thick or something?”
“Just you,” she snapped and Sirius shared a look with Peter.
“How about we try and figure this out before you start tearing chunks out of
each other?” Sirius suggested as James opened his mouth to argue. The three
nodded at him. “Right, so we know we’ve got the right house, and the letters
say the second, right?”
“Sunday the second of August at midday,” Peter read from his own letter.
It was the right house, the right day and the right time. But there was still
no answer from the house, no matter how hard they knocked.
“Wait, didn’t Remus say he spent Sunday’s in the pub with his family?” Lily
said suddenly.
“He did. Peter, you stay with Lily and the trunks, me and Sirius will go and
find him,” James said, pulling his friend away before the redheaded girl could
protest.
They walked from one end of the street to the other, and then down the next
one. They managed to find John and Joe’s Garage, which was shut up, and The
Happy Scampi Fish and Chip Shop, which was closed. They were just about to give
up and return to their trunks when a voice spoke.
“You lost, boys?”
They spun around to find a very tall blond man staring at them, emerging from
one of the houses with a load of board games under his arm.
“We’re trying to find the pub,” James said. “We can’t remember what it’s
called.”
“A little young to be drinking, aren’t you? Big Jim’ll never serve you.”
“We’re looking for our friend, Remus Lupin,” Sirius said and the man smiled.
“Ah, you’re his friends from school. John said you were coming next Sunday, on
the second.”
“Today is the second,” James supplied.
“Bloomin’ man. He’d forget his head if it wasn’t screwed on. It’s not the first
time he’s got mixed up and taken us down with him. I’ll take you. I’m Mike.”
“One of Remus’ uncles?” Sirius asked. “You’re the carpenter, right? The one who
plays football with Remus?”
“The very same. And you are?”
“I’m Sirius and this is James.”
“Very nice to meet you, Sirius and James. Come on.”
The two boys followed him down three streets before they caught sight of the
pub. It was hard not to, it was painted bright green. Even the doors and window
frames were green. Sirius was just glad it wasn’t Slytherin green, that would
have been too much. As they entered behind Mike, they found out why the
building was green.
“You took your time,” said an Irishman behind the bar.
“Picked up more than games. Did you know that today is the second?” Mike asked.
The Irishman gave them a proper view of himself as he stepped back to check a
calendar. He wasn’t too tall, but he was very wide around the middle, and his
arms were as thick as Sirius’ waist. He made a mental note never to get on the
mans bad side.
“Bloomin’ man, not again,” said the Irishman. “So, which ones did you find?”
Mike stepped back and the man peered at the two teens before he smiled. “At
least they’re not as small as our Remus, though I’ll bet good money Chris will
try and feed them up. Hello, boys. I’m Big Jim. Remus is around the other
side,” Jim said, pointing to the other side of the bar.
The boys followed Mike around the bar and found Remus surrounded by people, a
set of cards in his hands and a pile of matchsticks in front of him.
“John, did you perhaps make a mistake?” Mike questioned and John looked up, his
eyes landing on the two boys.
“Oh, Christ. Annie’s going to kill me,” John moaned. “Remus, your friends are
here. I did it again.”
Remus looked up and grinned. “You’re right, mum is going to kill you. One sec,
guys,” he said before he laid out his cards and the man he was playing with
groaned.
“How do you always win?” the man said exasperatedly, pushing more matchsticks
towards Remus.
“Because Uncle Jim is a wonderful teacher. Look on the bright side, Uncle Joe,
at least we were only playing for matchsticks. At least I didn’t fleece you
this time.”
Joe nodded and John stood up, Remus joining him. Sirius and James followed the
two Lupin’s back to the house where John immediately wished for the ground to
swallow him up. Lily and Peter were sitting in the kitchen, having a nice cup
of tea with Anne.
“John Andrew Lupin, you swore to me that they were coming next Sunday!” she
seethed. “I come back from getting some milk and there they are, standing on
the doorstep with four trunks and some tale of Sirius and James going to find
the pub!”
“I made a mistake. I’m sorry, Annie, it’ll never happen again,” he promised and
she growled.
“Damn straight it won’t. This is the last time I let you keep track of a date.
Hello, boys. Come and have some tea and then we’ll get you settled in,” she
said. James and Sirius accepted tea from Anne and hid their smirks in their
mugs as she continued to berate John.
After she had yelled herself out, she led the teens upstairs, levitating their
trunks before her. Lily was safely set up in the spare room. Anne and John’s
bedroom lay between it and Remus’ room, so there was no danger of the boys
pranking her in the middle of the night. The boys were set up in Remus’ room.
Anne transfigured three extra single beds for them from pieces of scrap paper
and bits of fluff, and John was grateful his sons room was big enough for them
all, or Anne would have skinned him alive, the mood she was in.
Once they were all unpacked, Anne, John and Remus led the four teens to The
Shamrock, and introduced them properly to everyone. Peter managed to get Remus’
uncles mixed up within the first five minutes.
“Hey, Remus, what’s that?” James asked, pointing to an odd looking table.
“That’s a pool table,” Remus said. “It’s a game you play.”
“My dad plays that. Fancy a game, Remus?” Lily said and Remus nodded. As he set
up the balls, Jim rang the bell.
“The lovely Miss Lily has persuaded our Remus to play. Any takers?” Jim
announced and Remus smiled.
“You’re going to have to explain what she’s unleashed, Uncle Jim,” Remus
called.
Jim nodded. “Gather round, boys. Remus here hasn’t been beaten at pool since he
was four. There is a standing bet that the first person to beat him gets £100.”
The three boys smiled and settled in to watch. Lily was terrible at the game,
she sunk the eight ball on her first shot and Remus went easy on her, helping
her sink all her colour before the real contenders took their turns. Thirty
seven grown men got thrashed by the thirteen year old boy in under an hour, and
Peter’s jaw dropped. Remus wasn’t even trying.
Remus persuaded Peter to have a go, even if he did lose, and then James had a
turn, not doing much better. John didn’t even accept a game, he already knew he
would lose, though all four of the uncles gave it a go. Remus cleared his
colour and sunk the eight ball in under two minutes when he played Big Jim, and
the others didn’t fare much better. Remus even looked a bit bored. The four
teens could see why Remus had been pulled out of primary school, he was just
too good at things.
Sirius was finally persuaded to play and Remus gave him a grin as he took a
cue.
“Get ready to lose, Sirius,” James called and Sirius laughed. James didn’t know
everything, and Sirius was about to prove it.
“Ready?” Remus asked and Sirius nodded, Chris flipping a coin to decide who
would go first. As Remus bent down to break, Sirius leaned in.
“No using werewolf advantage,” he whispered and Remus nodded.
“No Pureblood tricks,” Remus bargained cheekily and Sirius nodded.
Remus broke and sunk four red balls straight off. Sirius took his turn and sunk
three yellows, one after the other. The whole pub was silent, holding their
breaths. No one had been able to give Remus a decent game for years, but here
was this good looking boy giving as good as he got. The game dragged on, the
two boys doing their damnest to block the other. It was well over an hour
before they each had just one ball left, then the battle to pot the black would
begin.
Sirius sunk his first and then missed the black by mere millimetres. Playing
with Remus, that could be a very silly mistake. James’ jaw was hanging open and
Sirius nudged Remus, pointing at him. Remus chuckled.
“You know, you’re all catching flies,” Remus announced and James’ was not the
only mouth to close. Remus sunk his last red and lined up to pot the black. But
it was a very bad angle, and it bounced off the edge of the hole. “Damn it,” he
muttered and stepped back to let Sirius take his shot.
Sirius lined it up, judged his strength and took his shot. The ball moved in
slow motion, and just when everyone was sure he had missed it again, it tumbled
off the edge and into the depths of the table.
The whole bar was silent for half a second and Remus covered his ears. It was
ear splitting when they all exploded, offering their congratulations and
amazement. Sirius was pretty sure he was deaf, so he didn’t know how Remus’
sensitive werewolf hearing had handled it.
“Where did you learn to do that?” Remus asked as the cheering crowd thinned
slightly and quieted a little.
“My father felt it was a good way to teach me strategy,” Sirius revealed,
pocketing his winnings. “Got to say, you are good. I haven’t had a decent game
for years.”
“Me neither. We should play again sometime.”
“Bet on it.”
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Remus rolled over and huffed. The full moon was only two days away and he was
restless. He glanced at his sleeping friends and noticed that Sirius’ bed was
empty. The door was open too.
Remus slipped from his bed and tiptoed from the room. There was someone
downstairs, he could hear their heart beating in the living room. He crept down
the creaky stairs, careful to avoid the third one from the bottom which creaked
more than any other. He could smell Sirius now. Ah, the joys of werewolf
senses.
He padded into the living room and found Sirius examining the remote control,
waving it at the TV and trying to figure out why it wouldn’t work. He stifled
his laugh and plucked it from his fingers, making him jump.
“What are you doing up?” Remus asked as he curled up into a ball on the sofa.
“Didn’t you know? I don’t sleep,” Sirius said. “I was trying to amuse myself.
Your books are all on shelves above your bed, I couldn’t get to them. I forgot
to ask for one before you went to sleep.”
“You don’t sleep?” Remus questioned as he turned on the TV. There was nothing
on but the night screen picture, but it gave them some light.
“Nope.”
“How do you survive?”
“Twenty minutes a night. Well, I did once sleep fourty, but I had the flu,”
Sirius said honestly. “Didn’t you ever wonder how I figured out what you are?”
Remus nodded. “I noticed you were always sick on the full moon.”
Remus sniggered. “Very observant. Sirius, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Why do you hate the Dark Arts so much? I mean, that is why you hate Severus,
isn’t it? Because he has a thing for them? You seem to really hate all the
Slytherin’s, and we all know that they’re drowning in Dark Arts. That’s what
the problem is, isn’t it?”
Sirius gaped at him for a moment while his mind processed what Remus had asked.
Sirius had never intended to tell Remus of his family, not really. What he had
told Remus, he had been vague about. But Remus had told him his secret, didn’t
Remus deserve his honesty as well?
“I’ll tell you if you answer one of my questions,” Sirius bargained and Remus
considered it for a moment before nodding. “Will you tell me what happened when
you were bitten? You and the teachers skimmed over it when you explained
everything. I’m curious.”
Remus sighed and stared at the patch of carpet. The rug had been thrown out as
soon as he was bitten, he hadn’t been able to stand having it in the house, no
matter how many cleaning charms his mother cast upon it.
Remus stood up and walked to that patch, sitting down on it, cross-legged. “I
was sitting here, like this,” he said. “I was reading a book. You can see the
kitchen from here, you know. I was just sitting here, and dad was sitting where
you are, in that armchair. He was reading the paper. Then this huge grey
werewolf burst through the kitchen window. Mum was washing dishes, she got sent
flying, and dad tried to stop it as well, but he just got thrown too. And then
it came for me. I raised my arms, like I did with Honeyduke the dog. He didn’t
get a good grip on me, but it was good enough.” He let out a hollow laugh. “I
was so scared. I’ve never been more scared in my whole life. I was a small kid,
and it was huge. I was terrified. And the more I tried to pull myself free, the
more it growled,” Remus said, picking at the carpet. “Then mum blasted it and
it scarpered. Dad cleaned me up as best he could, in the bathroom. He sat me on
the toilet lid and sponged my arm. Then Professor Dumbledore came and explained
everything.”
Sirius couldn’t keep his anger from bubbling up. It was so unfair. Remus was
one of his best friends, the one who had shown him the Muggle World and never
laughed at his questions. Remus suffered all that, and every single month
since, all because of Voldemort.
“Dad still feels guilty, you know,” Remus revealed, reclaiming his seat on the
sofa. “He thinks that if he hadn’t lost his temper at Voldemort, then I
wouldn’t be like this, it wouldn’t have happened. Doesn’t matter what anyone
says to him, he still feels it’s his fault.”
Sirius took a deep breath. “You asked why I hate the Dark Arts. You just
answered it,” he said and Remus looked puzzled. “All the Slytherin’s, they
think that Voldemort is big and clever, that hurting people is the way to go. I
don’t. I hate Voldemort. Look at what he had Greyback do to you. In what way is
that right?”
Remus shrugged and Sirius took a deep breath, letting it out in one long sigh.
“I hate the Dark Arts because I can do them.”
“What?” Remus asked.
“I’ve been able to do the Unforgivable’s since I was small. It’s what my family
wants for me. Voldemort was a regular dinner guest at my house, still is. My
parents aren’t Death Eaters, but they work for him. And that’s the life they
have planned for me. They want me and Regulus to become Death Eaters. You have
no idea what it’s like. For my sixth birthday, my dad gave me his wand and made
me cast Crucio on Kreacher. I’ll never forget how much it hurt him, how he
screamed. See, Reg buys into all that Pureblood shit, and the Death Eater
bollocks. That’s why I was so excited to meet you. You grew up here, and knew
all about the Muggle World, and let me ask all the questions I wanted. You let
me read your muggle books, and come and stay in your muggle house. I hate the
Dark Arts so much because it’s all I ever heard when I was young. You’re half-
blood and you’re just as good a wizard as I am. I don’t see what makes
Pureblood’s so superior, and my family hate me for it,” Sirius explained.
The Pureblood sat there silently, waiting for Remus to tell him to get the hell
out of his house. But it never came.
“I understand now. And I’ll stop trying to get you to be nice to Severus,”
Remus said quietly.
Sirius smiled at him.
“I have another question,” Remus said with a smile and Sirius nodded
cautiously. “Why is your teddy bear called Cuddles? I told you why mine is
called Romulus, but I never got round to asking about yours.”
Sirius sniggered. “My mother had all my toys thrown out when I was seven. It’s
common in Pureblood families, the parents decide when it’s time for their
children to become adults. For me, it was age seven. My mother said I could
keep one toy, so I kept Cuddles. He’s called Cuddles because…well, when I was
little my mother wouldn’t hug me. She’s always looked at me like I’m something
horrible. When I asked him why mother wouldn’t cuddle me, my father said that
cuddles were for teddy bears. James’ dad gave me the bear for my fifth
birthday, and it always felt the best to cuddle. So I called it Cuddles.”
Remus stared at his friend and silently wondered how the hell he had ended up
so normal. By all rights, Sirius should be a raving loony by now, what with all
the trash his family spouted. They sounded positively torturous compared to his
own family. But he put all that to one side. He had something to correct first.
“Come and sit on the sofa, I want to show you something,” the werewolf said and
Sirius changed seats without question.
As Sirius sat down, the two of them facing each other, Remus leaned in, wrapped
his arms around Sirius’ neck and hugged him. Sirius was still for a few moments
before he wrapped his arms around Remus’ ribs.
“Cuddles are for everyone, not just teddy bears,” Remus murmured in his ear.
Sirius couldn’t say anything. And he couldn’t stop his tears. They were soaking
Remus’ pyjama top, and Sirius knew his friend could feel it, but the boy didn’t
seem to mind. In fact, he began to stroke his hair. It was wonderful, that
cuddle. With all his partners, it was never tender like this. There were never
just hugs. It was all about kissing and pleasure. But Sirius couldn’t think of
anything else that felt better than a cuddle.
Remus pulled back and wiped away Sirius’ tears. “You can have a cuddle anytime
you like, you just have to ask. Not just me, you can ask my parents for a
cuddle too, and my uncles. They give them all the time,” he whispered and
Sirius nodded. “Do you want a cup of tea? I’ll sit up with you.”
“You don’t have to,” Sirius argued and Remus shook his head.
“It’s too close to the moon, I’m too restless to sleep. How about a game of
Scrabble?”
Sirius smiled. “Okay then, tea and Scrabble. Will you teach me how to make tea
the muggle way?”
Remus grinned and nodded. As the two boys moved into the kitchen, Sirius
realised that he was starting to feel something other than friendship for
Remus. No matter how he tried to dismiss it, he couldn’t forget how much he had
enjoyed Remus’ arms around his neck.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Their third year at Hogwarts began with Remus finding himself a boyfriend and
Sirius realising he wasn’t attracted to women at all.
Sirius’ revelation came about in week one of the year, when he was shoved into
a broom closet by Jennifer Mahler of Ravenclaw, his partner at the time. She
kissed him breathless and then stripped them both. It would have been
brilliant, and rather kinky, if Sirius had been able to get it up, that is. It
wasn’t that he didn’t like Jenny, he really did, she was a great girl. But
there was something about her equipment that just didn’t entice him.
She was very good about it, listening to him as he explained that he just
wasn’t that way inclined, and she agreed to keep his little performance problem
under wraps. It would do his reputation no good if it got out. They agreed to
stay friends, and she began dating Michael Hopkins of Hufflepuff the next day.
Sirius continued to hop from partner to partner, all of them male now. He even
dated Fabian for a few weeks. Rumours began to fly about who he had and hadn’t
shagged, and he didn’t deny any of them, so people decided he was shagging
every boy in sight.
Remus was having slightly better luck with his love life. On the first day of
term, the morning after the welcome feast, Malcolm Simian of Hufflepuff walked
right up to the Gryffindor table and asked him out, in full view of everyone.
Remus had blushed a furious shade of red and shyly nodded.
The year went well for the four friends, mostly. The first term was mostly
uneventful, aside from the detentions Remus’ three friends kept landing
themselves in. James and Sirius seemed to have discovered the fun of breaking
rules, and Peter did whatever they told him to. Their treatment of Severus and
the other Slytherin’s didn’t improve, but at Remus’ request they were never too
cruel to them, no matter how much they wanted to be. Remus still had hopes that
maybe one or two of the Slytherin’s could be won over to the side of the Light,
instead of just falling blindly into Voldemort’s service. James and Sirius
thought he was misguided but allowed him to try.
Lily and James’ relationship didn’t get any better. If anything, it got worse.
Now there were full on slanging matches across the Common Room. These were fun
to watch, if a little venomous. James was usually outdone by the girl, which
his friends found highly hilarious.
The teens got their first chance to visit Hogsmeade, and they enjoyed it
thoroughly. Sirius quickly found Zonko’s and stocked up on as many jokes as he
could, most of which ended up being used on the Slytherin’s. Remus was more a
fan of Honeydukes, and rather enjoyed their different variants of fudge. Peter
trailed after James like a little puppy, following him up to have a look at the
Shrieking Shack from the outside.
Gryffindor won their first match against Hufflepuff, which caused two things to
happen. Firstly, the Slytherin’s became worse than ever, which wasn’t helped by
Lucius being Head Boy. And James became more adored by the student population,
which pissed Severus off no end.
Christmas was a wonderful affair. James and Peter went home and Sirius was
invited by Remus’ parents to spend Christmas at the Lupin house. He thoroughly
enjoyed himself, and managed a third helping of the Christmas dinner Anne
cooked the muggle way. She had even taken it upon herself to teach him to cook
the muggle way, and the Lupin’s all found Sirius to be an excellent cook, after
he passed the phase of burning things.
In fact, everything was uneventful until March, a week before Remus’ fourteenth
birthday.
Remus and Malcolm were sitting by the lake, watching the Giant Squid wave its
tentacles lazily at them. The night before, they had discovered the Room of
Requirement and their little exploration session had not gone to plan. True to
Hufflepuff form, Malcolm wanted to discuss the problem and help Remus figure it
out.
“It’s not that I’m upset or anything, just curious,” Malcolm said. “I mean, I
thought we were going really well. I just want to understand. Is it that you’re
not ready?”
Remus sighed. He liked Malcolm, and he wasn’t a bad kisser. There was just
something that didn’t feel quite right.
“I don’t know what it is, Mal, but I don’t want to do it with you. I don’t want
to do it, period,” Remus said.
“Am I not the one you want your first time to be with?”
Remus smiled. That was one of the wonderful things about Malcolm, he never got
offended. Oh, James and Sirius had both tried, but Malcolm had just laughed it
off.
“Sorry, Mal, but no, I don’t want it to be with you,” Remus said honestly and
Malcolm nodded. “It’s nothing personal, it’s just…”
Malcolm waited patiently, and neither of them noticed that they were being
watched and listened to. Remus really should have been able to hear the
eavesdropper, but he was too focussed on the moment, on trying not to say the
wrong thing.
“Here’s the thing, right. I want my first time to be with the right one. I like
you, Malcolm, I really do, it’s just-”
Malcolm laughed, interrupting him. “I’m not the right one, Remus, I know that,”
Malcolm said. “You don’t have to say it. I mean, come on, Malcolm and Remus
together forever. Yeah right! Me and you were never destined to be some great
love story. Me and you, we’re just fooling around. I understand, really.”
Remus grinned. “You’re a really great friend, you know that?”
“Yeah, I know. And I think it wise if that’s all I am from now on. I’m not what
you’re looking for, and not to be mean or anything, but you’re not for me,”
Malcolm said and Remus nodded. “Hey, it was fun, wasn’t it?”
“Very fun.”
As break ups went, it was the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. It was
probably the tamest break up Hogwarts had ever seen. That was, until the two
boys heard a voice.
“Well, well, well, look at this. Friend of the Hogwarts Stud, a frigid little
boy.”
They spun around to find a whole group of Slytherin’s watching them. The two
standing right in front were Severus and Lucius, and they were both sneering at
Remus.
“What do you want?” Malcolm said as he and Remus got to their feet.
“Just wondering why Remus can’t pick up some tips from Sirius the shameless,”
Lucius said. “All that stuff about ‘the right one’. Please, spare me. Severus,
don’t you agree?”
“Yes, I do. It amazes me that Remus is such a child. Obviously, he should find
better friends.”
“Absolutely,” Lucius said. “Severus has told me how accommodating you can be.
How about it, Remus? Want to join our group, be a real man?”
Remus couldn’t help it, he just couldn’t. It was too close to the moon for him
to keep his tongue under control. It was made all the worse by Severus joining
in. Severus was meant to be his friend, why was he doing this?
“And what makes you real men, the fact that you play with your bollocks, or
that you’re the biggest slut in the school, Malfoy?” Remus spat.
To the shock of everyone it was Severus that answered him, and his answer was
absolutely the wrong thing to say to a confused werewolf two days away from a
full moon.
James, Sirius and Peter emerged from their detentions to hear the cry of
“FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”
They bumped into the twins and found out that the fight was down by the lake.
The three younger boys raced across the grass. They were in no way prepared for
what they found.
Remus pinning Severus to the ground by his throat.
Severus looked like a truck had hit him. He was bruised and bloody, and he was
turning blue from lack of oxygen. It took James, Sirius, Peter, Fabian, Gideon
and Malcolm to pry Remus off him, and when they finally did, they found several
professors watching the scene, one of them being Dumbledore.
Remus didn’t wait for anyone to say anything. He broke free of his friends and
raced across the grounds, out of sight. Professor McGonagall believed Fabian’s
hurried explanations of what had happened, how they had not been involved, and
the boys were given permission to go and find Remus. The Slytherin’s and
Malcolm went with Professor Slughorn to clear up what had caused Remus’
outburst.
It was Sirius that found him, hiding in the branches of a huge oak tree,
sobbing for all he was worth.
“Remus, come down from there. I’m useless at climbing trees,” Sirius called
gently and Remus shook his head. Sirius sighed and began to climb. It took him
a very long time, long enough for James and Peter to find them. The other two
climbed up as well. Actually, Peter needed to be levitated up.
As soon as Sirius settled himself on the branch behind Remus, the smaller boy
spun around and buried his face in Sirius’ shirt. Sirius held him while he
cried, waiting for the sobs to slow a little before he tried to find out what
had happened.
In all their time at Hogwarts, Remus had never argued with the Slytherin’s. He
had never said a harsh word to anyone. For him to have attacked Severus, a boy
who was supposedly his friend, Severus must have said something really bad.
“What happened?” James asked as Remus accepted a tissue from Peter to mop up
his tears.
Remus took a deep breath and picked at the tree bark. “Swear to God you won’t
laugh?”
“Remus, when have we ever laughed at you?” James said. “Just tell us what that
little bastard did.”
Remus snuggled against Sirius once more. Sirius was really rather good at
cuddles, considering he had never really had them as a child. The taller boy
didn’t seem to mind, he was hugging him back.
“I was sitting with Malcolm. We were talking. Me and him, we kind of broke up.
It was a nice break up, really, we’re still friends. Me and him, it’s just not
right. It’s fun, but we’re not the right ones for each other.”
“The right ones?” Peter asked.
Remus nodded. “Well…me and Malcolm were fooling around yesterday and he wanted
to go further. I said no. That’s what we were talking about, he wanted to know
why,” Remus explained. “So, I told him, I’m waiting for the right one. I know
it sounds stupid-”
“It doesn’t sound stupid. It sounds romantic,” Sirius argued. “Go on. Was
Malcolm upset he wasn’t the right one?”
“No, he was great about it. He’s a really nice guy, and we decided to be just
friends. But then Lucius and Severus and all the rest turned up. They’d been
listening. They said all these things about me, about how I should have picked
up some tips from you, and how I was a frigid little boy. Lucius wanted me to
join his group of friends.” He sighed. “I know I shouldn’t have said it, but it
is only two days until the moon, I couldn’t help it.”
“What did you say to him?” James pressed.
“I asked Lucius what made him a man, that he played with his bollocks or that
he was a slut,” Remus whispered. “And then Severus stuck his big nose into it.”
He punched a thick branch and it cracked where his fist impacted. “I can’t
believe he did that. And all the things he said. I thought he was my friend.”
“Forget him, he’s not worth it,” Sirius said, stroking the thin back.
“But it’s all his fault!”
“Okay, I’m lost,” Peter said.
“Let me clarify it for you,” Remus said savagely. “Severus saw me and Malcolm.
Severus earwigged on us. Severus went and got all the other snakes. Severus
joined in and called me a frigid little mudblood. Still lost?”
The three of them gaped at him. It was probably the worst word to call Remus,
especially so close to the moon. Sirius held the boy closer at the thought of
what could have happened if Remus had squeezed a little tighter. The boy could
have easily killed him, they knew that.
“Guys?” Remus mumbled into Sirius’ chest.
“Yeah?” Sirius replied.
“You know all those pranks you want to pull on the Slytherin’s, the ones I
always told you not to do?”
“Yeah.”
“Forget I said anything. Go right ahead, do whatever you like to them. I don’t
care anymore. They can’t be saved, none of them. And Snivellus can go to hell
for all I care.”
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Remus’ parents were called to the school, and Severus’ mother. The two boys
were made to recount the whole thing for their parents, and Severus mother
looked supremely ticked off. She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him off to
the Dungeons, where Professor Slughorn leant her his office in which to deal
with her son.
Remus found himself alone in Dumbledore’s office while his parents talked to
Dumbledore and McGonagall in McGonagall’s office. Sirius, James and Peter were
also talking to his parents, giving their views on it.
Remus had the idea he was in very big trouble. Attacking Severus had been a
really stupid thing to do, but it had hardly been his fault. It was the wolf,
it was always the wolf. It made him do things he didn’t want to, things he
would never do if it wasn’t for the wolf. Remus suddenly became very frightened
of the impending full moon. He didn’t want it to come, didn’t want to change.
He was tired of it all. Tired of the pain of the changes, of the humiliation of
having Pomfrey clean him up every morning, of the lies he had to tell.
Remus was so lost in his own little depressed funk that he didn’t hear the
others return.
“Remus?” John called, shaking his sons thin shoulder. Remus jerked and looked
up at them with tear filled amber eyes.
“Mr Lupin,” Dumbledore called, catching Remus’ attention. “Your friends have
explained to me what prompted your actions. You will receive a detention with
Professor McGonagall, but that is all. I shall not be expelling you.”
“Thank you, Professor,” Remus whispered.
“As for Mr Snape, he has been suspended for a week for humiliating a fellow
student.”
Remus didn’t hear anything else. The sun had set and he could see the moon out
of Dumbledore’s window. Two nights from now, he would become a horrible
monster, and it was all Voldemort’s fault. It wasn’t fair. He wasn’t a bad
person, he didn’t do anything to deserve this. For the first time since he was
infected, Remus hated himself.
Sirius looked up to see Remus crying. The boy stood up and walked to the
window, crying for all he was worth once again.
“Remus? Darling, what’s wrong?” Anne asked, slowly approaching her son. “You
didn’t hurt him, darling. Severus is all right, Madame Pomfrey patched him up.”
“I don’t care,” Remus sobbed. “I don’t care about any of it. I hate this! Make
it stop, just take it away! I don’t want to be like this anymore!”
Anne reached out to try and hug her son, to try and soothe him, but Remus just
walked away from her. He didn’t want his mother to try and make this seem all
better like she did every other time. He didn’t want his father to put a nice
spin on it.
This could not be made better, there was no nice spin for this.
“Remus, we understand that this is difficult for you,” John said and Remus
glared at him accusingly.
“No, you don’t! You have no idea what this is like!” the boy screamed. “How
could you know? You don’t have to go through it! You don’t have your bones
snap, you don’t rip yourself to shreds! You don’t have to fear every full
moon!” Remus sank to the floor, hugging his knees and burying his face in them.
Sirius watched his friend fall apart and found it heartbreaking to watch. He
had met Greyback, and he hated him more than Voldemort. It was his fault, he
had done this to his friend. That feeling he couldn’t name was rising to the
surface again, the feeling of something more than just friendship.
Sirius stood up and walked slowly across the room, sinking down until he was
eye to eye with Remus. Slowly, he reached out his hand and brushed Remus’ hair
away from his face. Remus took a swing at him, but he was fast enough to jerk
back. Just.
“Remus, look at me,” Sirius said firmly. Remus shook his head and Sirius
smiled. “You’re right, you know. How are you always right?”
Remus sniffed and wiped at his face with the back of his hands, shrugging.
“None of us can understand what it’s like for you, and I’m not going to be
stupid and try and imagine it. I can’t get it, I can’t understand, I know that.
But I understand that you feel bad. I get that one. Don’t you remember me
telling you about why I feel bad?”
“I remember,” Remus mumbled. “Your family, what they believe, the way they
treat you.”
“Exactly. And you asked me about Cuddles, how he got his name. Do you remember
what you did when I told you?”
“I gave you a cuddle and told you they were for everyone, all you had to do was
ask.”
Sirius smiled. “Exactly. And do you know what else I learnt that night, what I
figured out without you telling me?” Remus shook his head. “I learnt that it’s
okay to fall apart. It doesn’t make me weak or anything. It’s okay to scream
and shout. So, now I teach you. It’s okay for you to fall apart.”
Remus looked up into the kind blue eyes and considered everything Sirius had
said.
“I hate this,” Remus whispered. “I hate being like this.”
“I know you do. And I wish I could make it go away. But we still like you,
monthlies and all.”
Remus actually managed a gasp of laugher at that one, before his tears took
over once more. He didn’t need to say anything. Sirius sat down next to him to
him, leant against the wall and pulled Remus into his arms. He held him as he
fell apart, as McGonagall let the other two boys go to Gryffindor Tower. Anne
and John took their seats once more and tried not to cry with their son.
Albus simply sat there and watched the two teens. He had been sceptical about
the friendship between the two, but he was glad to have been proven wrong. He
had assumed it would not last, what with Sirius’ upbringing. It didn’t seem to
be an issue. If anything, it seemed to have brought them closer. If he wasn’t
mistaken, those two would be friends for many years to come.
He hoped he was right.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Easter break that year brought a few surprises for Sirius.
“Hey guys, wanna meets some very special boys?” Fabian said as he entered the
common room.
Sirius, Remus, James and Peter were sitting around talking about the new
broomsticks on the market, comparing the strengths and weaknesses of each.
James needed a new one, his had just been destroyed by the Whomping Willow
after he fell off it and it drifted into the tree.
“Sounds like you’re trying to set Remus or Sirius up,” James joked, making
Sirius shove him.
“Shut up, Potter. Neither of us need help getting a date, unlike you,” Sirius
replied.
“Who are you talking about, Fab?” Remus asked, ending the bickering before it
really took off.
Fabian disappeared out of the portrait hole and returned a moment later with
Gideon and two small redhead boys.
“This is Charlie, who will be four in August,” Fabian said, setting the larger
of the children down and taking his hand.
“And this is William, who we all call Bill. He’ll be two in October,” Gideon
said, tickling the little boy, who had the most infectious giggle.
“Molly brought them for a visit and we thought Sirius would like to meet his
new nice family members. Would you believe she’s expecting their third?” Fabian
said, leading Charlie over to a widely grinning Sirius. “Charlie, say hello.”
“Hello,” Charlie replied obediently, waving one pudgy hand at them all. He was
a little barrel, one of those kids that could be dropped and would bounce.
Sirius held out his hands and Charlie immediately toddled to him, allowing
himself to be picked up.
“Hello, Charlie. I’m Sirius.”
“Si’ius,” Charlie repeated as Bill was handed over to James, the baby making a
grab for his glasses. “Who are they?” Charlie asked, pointing at the three
other boys.
“This is James, and that’s Peter. And this one here, his name is Remus,” Sirius
said, pointing them all out.
“James, Peter, Re’us,” he repeated, pointing one tiny finger at each of them.
“Clever boy. Hey, Charlie, you want to go for a walk outside?” Remus suggested
and the child nodded. “It that okay, guys? It’s a nice day, I’m sure the boys
will enjoy it.”
“Fine. Molly said she doesn’t care what we do with them, just as long as they
come back in one piece,” Gideon said. “She looks absolutely knackered.”
“Hang on, we have to wait,” Fabian said. “We’ll go in a minute.”
“Why?” James questioned, fending off the tiny grabbing hands without success.
“Help, someone.”
Remus reached over and plucked Bill from his arms, freeing the glasses from the
tiny fist and handing them back to James. He sat Bill on his knee and began to
bounce him, the little redhead squealing in delight.
“How did you do that?” Gideon asked. “Molly says he never stops moving now he
can walk. He won’t sit still, how did you do that?”
Remus shrugged. “I don’t know, he must just like me. So, what are we waiting
for?”
“Child number three,” Fabian said as there was a knock at the portrait. He
stood up and opened it for a woman and a little girl with bright pink pigtails
and orange eyes. “Sirius, you remember Andromeda, don’t you?”
“Andie!” Sirius cried, carrying Charlie with him as he moved forwards to hug
the woman.
“Hello!” she laughed. “Look at you, you’ve shot up like a weed. Any taller and
Canis will put a bag of cement on your head.”
“What’s cement?” Sirius asked.
“Muggle thing, they build things with it. Walls, pavement. You know those
paving slabs my street is covered with? Those are made of cement,” Remus
supplied and Andromeda looked impressed.
She was tall and slim, willowy almost, like Sirius. She had the same blue eyes
as him too, but dark brown hair instead of his blue-black.
“Well done. Muggleborn?” she said.
“My mum’s a Muggleborn witch, my dad’s full muggle,” Remus said at James’ nod.
“My, my, Siri, Canis and Belladonna must be so impressed,” she teased. “Albus
sent me a letter saying Molly would be bringing her boys to meet you and I
thought you’d like to meet my little girl. Sirius, this is Nymphadora.”
James laughed as Sirius tickled the tiny girl under the chin. “Poor kid with
that name,” James said.
“Just because you have one of the most boring names on the planet, Potter,” she
replied and Remus was highly impressed by her easy snubbing.
“How old is Nymphadora?” the werewolf asked.
“She’ll be two in December. I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name, or the little
blond one,” Andromeda said, handing the little girl to Sirius as Charlie
toddled over to Remus.
“I’m Remus Lupin and this is Peter Pettigrew,” he said as he plonked Charlie on
his other knee, bouncing both boys.
“Better not let Molly see you handle both of them, she’ll want to take you
home,” Gideon joked.
Andromeda sat down and Sirius fussed over the tiny girl, quite content to
tickle her senseless, until her hair turned black.
“Whoa. Okay, I’ve never gotten that reaction before,” Sirius said.
“Oh! Did I not mention that?” Andromeda said.
“No,” James said. “It must have slipped your mind. Must come with old age.”
“Watch it, Potter. You’re not too old for me to turn over my knee,” she said
with a smile. “Nymphadora’s a metamorphmagus, she can change her appearance at
will. She’s copying Sirius. Look, her eyes have gone blue again. She’s copying
Sirius to say she likes him.”
Sirius was highly impressed. The little girl was absolutely adorable, as were
the two boys. It was times like this he was thankful for the nice side of his
family. Andromeda had been the first, and only, person to send him a letter
congratulating him on getting into Gryffindor. He’d always liked Molly, the
woman was a wonderful cook. She had forever brought cookies and cakes with her
when she accompanied Fabian and Gideon to the Potter’s. He had feared he
wouldn’t get to meet Charlie, Bill or Nymphadora. It was a nice surprise to
suddenly have them turn up.
“So, how are you getting on? Belladonna sending you plenty of letters on what a
disgrace you are?” Andromeda asked Sirius and they all grinned.
“Actually, it’s his father who sends them,” Peter said.
“Ah. What about Belladonna?”
Sirius busied himself by retying one of Nymphadora’s pigtails. “Doesn’t
matter,” he said.
Andromeda sighed and moved to him, ruffling his hair fondly. “Don’t let the
snakes get you down,” she said. “Look on the bright side, one day they might
disown you. Happiest day of my life, the day my mother threw me out.”
“You were at least a Slytherin,” Sirius argued.
“Yeah, only because I’m too sneaky to be anything else. You, you’ve got a heart
of gold.” She laughed. “I dated Ted for three years before anyone found out.”
“My dating habits get reported home by Regulus.”
“Ah, I did hear something about that. The Hogwarts Stud? Quite a title for a
third year.”
“Had it since my first.”
“Okay, now I am very impressed. Your first year, really?” He nodded. “I bet
Canis was so pleased.”
“Sorry to interrupt, but I think these boys are getting restless. Shall we go
outside where they can run around without breaking anything?” Remus said,
trying to keep hold of a squirming Charlie.
They gathered the children up and moved to the portrait hole, Andromeda talking
to Sirius as he carried Nymphadora through. Fabian took hold of Bill and Remus
took Charlie’s little hand.
“You called her, didn’t you?” Remus asked. “You and Gideon. It wasn’t Professor
Dumbledore who called Andromeda, it was you.”
Fabian grinned. “Yes. I think the last few Canis letters have gotten to him. We
thought he could do with a little moral support. Andie was always Sirius’
favourite when we were younger.”
Remus smiled and led Charlie outside, going slow so the little legs could keep
up with him. As soon as Charlie saw the grass, Remus let him go, watching him
tear off with astonishing speed. All too soon, he came flying at them, throwing
himself at Remus who scooped him up and tickled him as they walked.
“He keeps going like that and you’ll end up covered in bruises,” James called,
he and Fabian swinging Bill between them.
“Bruises?” Andromeda questioned. “I didn’t think Charlie was being that rough.”
Remus smiled and handed Charlie to Gideon, pulling up his shirt to show her the
bruises on his side from Charlie’s knees. She gaped and then took a good look
at him, making his heart stop.
Once they reached the Quidditch pitch, where the wandering children could get
into no trouble, Andromeda pulled Remus aside, Sirius lingering close while
James and Peter distracted the twins.
“You’re a werewolf, aren’t you?” she said bluntly, making Remus shake his head
frantically.
Oh God, showing her the bruises had been very stupid. He should have known
better. What was every adult always telling him? Don’t show someone magical
your symptoms, they’ll figure it out. How often had his mother told him that?
Merlin, if she said anything, he’d have to leave Hogwarts, he’d loose
everything.
“Hush, it’s all right, I won’t say anything,” she soothed at his terrified
look, pulling him in for a hug. “I was just checking.”
Sirius could see how terrified his friend was and just had to reassure him. He
didn’t like seeing Remus like that, and it shouldn’t have to be that way. Remus
should not have a heart attack every time someone guessed what he was. There it
was again, that strange feeling in his chest. It only happened with Remus and
he wasn’t quite sure what it was. He knew it included an inexplicable urge to
protect the smaller boy, but apart from that, he couldn’t explain it.
“No one can know, Andie. If people find out, Remus will have to leave
Hogwarts,” Sirius said to her and she nodded, miming locking her lips. He
turned to Remus. “Don’t worry, Andie’s a good stick. She won’t say anything, I
swear. You trust me, don’t you?”
“Of course I do, or you wouldn’t know,” Remus said.
“Then trust me when I say you can trust her. Andie will keep your secret, I
promise.”
Remus peered at the witch for a moment before he nodded.
“So, who does know?” she asked as they sat down, Nymphadora toddling off to
join the others.
“My parents, the staff here, Sirius, James, Peter and Lily Evans, a girl in our
year,” Remus reeled off.
“That’s it? No healers?”
“Only Madame Pomfrey.”
“Have you ever met a man called Jack Jones?” she asked and Remus shook his
head. “Well, he’s a friend of my father-in-law. His son Sam is a werewolf. He
used to go here, until he was bitten by Greyback.”
“He’s the one who bit Remus,” Sirius said.
“Yeah, I’m not surprised. Did Voldemort want you for something?” she
questioned.
“My dad said Voldemort wanted to take me away, have me raised by wizards. My
dad got angry at him, said things, and then a few days later Greyback burst
through our kitchen window and bit me.”
“Sadistic prick,” she snarled. “Sorry, sorry. I just hate that bastard. He’s
not a man, no where near.”
“Voldemort or Greyback?” Sirius said with a smile.
“Both.” She paused. “What about Fabian and Gideon, do they know what Remus is?”
“No, they think he has a blood disorder. Everyone thinks that.”
“Maybe you should tell them. They can keep a secret, trust me. And they’re very
handy to have on side,” she said but the boys shook their heads.
“We can’t, we promised Dumbledore,” Sirius said. “The four of us only found out
because we found Remus as he was changing back one morning.”
“Yeah, because you’re nosy sods, the lot of you,” Remus joked. “If Sirius and
the others told someone, Dumbledore would just obliviate who they told. Once I
leave Hogwarts, I can tell whoever I like, if I want to. But while I’m here, I
can’t.”
Andromeda peered at the small boy and felt her respect for him rise. This boy
was barely fourteen, it was a lot to handle. Sam Jones was twenty two and still
had problems with it.
“Where was I? Oh yeah, Sam Jones. Well, Sam was home schooled, his father’s a
Healer. He’s a really nice man, both of them are, wonderful with Nymphadora.
They come for dinner every now and then. If you’re ever looking for a good one,
his father Jack is nice. And I’m sure Sam will be an excellent Healer when he’s
trained.”
“He’s training to be a Healer?” said Sirius.
“Yes, and I’ll bet he’ll be a damn good one too. Let me think…he’ll be twenty
three in September…been training since he was seventeen…so he’ll qualify in
about…six years, give or take. That will make you…twenty, I think.”
“Maths never was her strong point,” Sirius said to Remus in a stage whisper,
earning a slap around the head.
“Oi! I’ll have you know, my maths is fine. You try doing maths when you have a
one year old child keeping you up at night!”
“Hey, we need to take Bill and Charlie back to Molly. Bill’s having a nappy
situation and Charlie wants his mother. We’ll be back in a bit, with or without
the boys,” Fabian called over and Andromeda waved them away.
He and Gideon scooped up the two redheads and walked off with them, leaving
Peter and James entertaining Nymphadora.
“They’re really good with her,” Andromeda commented. “I’d consider giving her
to them permanently if Ted weren’t so attached to her.”
“How is Ted?” Sirius asked as Nymphadora began to use James as a climbing
frame.
“He’s doing really well, just got a new job in the Ministry,” she said and
Sirius snorted. “I know, I know, too many members of the family in that place
to make me really happy, but I doubt many members of the family work in the
Muggle Relations office.”
“Doubtful,” Sirius agreed.
“So, how are you getting on, honestly?”
Sirius sighed and laid back, cushioning his head on his arms. “There it is, the
offer to listen to me offloading. Knew it was coming. What do you want first,
home or here?”
“Your choice.”
Sirius looked over at Remus, hesitating, before he remembered Remus knew all
about his family, he could say anything he liked. Andromeda was the only one
who could understand how he felt. The family had disowned her as soon as she
said yes to Ted Tonks’ proposal of marriage. They had had a major problem with
her dating him, but they had assumed she was just being rebellious, having a
little fun until she was married off to their choice in husbands for her. Their
choice happened to be Antonin Dolohov, a known Death Eater. Sirius had actually
cheered when he found out Andromeda had married Ted. Subsequently, he had spent
a week in bed from the beating his mother had given him, but he had considered
it worth it.
“Home’s the same as usual,” Sirius said. “Mother acts like I’m something she’s
stepped in, same as always. Reg’s the perfect son, I’m the mistake.”
“You’re not a mistake,” she countered.
“To her, I am. I was unplanned, she never wanted me. What, you thought I didn’t
know? Oh, yeah, she threw that one out in the last blazing row we had. She
never meant to have me, she didn’t want me, and only her father’s interference
made her keep me. I’m a mistake, a disgrace, a disappointment, and anything
else you can think of to describe a miserable pathetic failure of a son,”
Sirius reeled off. “Father never changes the tune, still sends me Howlers and
gets Reg to try and talk me round to the ‘proper way of thinking’. He was so
mad when I got into Gryffindor. Along with everything else I do. My friends, my
reputation, my house, my hair, my dating habits, to name just a few. He
couldn’t pick holes in my schoolwork until I chose to do Muggle Studies, and
now he won’t drop it. He’s still Voldemort’s lackey, still wants me to be a
Death Eater. Fucking prick. He thinks that if he keeps on long enough I’ll
suddenly let that psycho brand me. As if. Let’s just face it, I’m never going
to be the son he wants, I’ll always be the mistake and Reg will be the wonder
boy. Fuck, you’d think the sun shines out of that little bastard’s arse the way
mother and father talk about him, treat him. You know, if I died or something,
they wouldn’t even notice. Mother told me that one herself.”
Andromeda was at a loss over what to say, but she was shocked when Remus did
know.
“Fuck your family. We still like you, mistake and all,” Remus said and Sirius
dissolved into a fit of laughter.
“I can always count on Remus here to cheer me up. Me and him, issues galore.”
“I see that,” she said, grinning. “You know, when Gid told me you and Remus
were the best of friends, I didn’t actually believe him.”
“Why, because he’s half?” Sirius said dismissively.
“Well, yes. No offence, Remus.”
“None taken. I’ve met your sisters, I get it,” Remus said. “You are Bella and
Cissa’s sister, right? I have got the family tree correct, haven’t I?”
She laughed. “Yes, you have.”
Remus sighed in relief. “Good, because I had to get Sirius to draw me a
diagram.”
“Good to see you remembered it. Yes, they are my sisters, unfortunately. Lucky
for me, they refuse to acknowledge my existence. I dread to think what they say
about me.”
“Roughly the same as they say about Sirius,” Remus said and Sirius sniggered.
“Go on, Brains, reel it off,” Sirius said.
Remus looked thoughtful and Sirius leaned up to whisper in Andromeda’s ear,
“It’s incredible, he remembers everything.”
“I heard that, and you’ve been allowed to watch way too much Thunderbirds at my
house,” Remus said with a smile. “All right. ‘My, my, Sirius, what will Uncle
Canis say? You really should start hanging around with a better class of human,
let alone wizard. Too much time with mudbloods and you’ll end up like that
waste of flesh Andromeda. Marrying a mudblood, I’m surprised she hasn’t caught
something. Mind, it’s only a matter of time. Too much inbreeding, that’s the
problem with these mudbloods. She’ll probably produce deformed children. Oh,
wait, of course she will, little mudblood bastards polluting the world.’ How
was that?”
Remus had even put on a prim girly voice and wagged his finger at Sirius.
“Brilliant,” Sirius gasped in between howls of laughter. “Told you, Andie.
Remus is a sponge, never forgets a thing.”
Andromeda was clutching her sides, tears streaming down her face. “That was
incredible, I wish I had that on tape, Ted would piss himself. Let me guess.
Bella?”
“Yup. At least she’s stopped trying to hit me,” Remus said, not realising what
he had said until it was too late.
Andromeda stopped laughing. “She hit you? When the fuck did that happen?” she
said, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. “Want one?”
Sirius accepted but Remus declined, grimacing. “I tried one of Sirius’ the
other day, I was as sick as a dog. Or a wolf, depending on your point of view.”
“Sorry, I keep forgetting what you are,” she said, lighting up and then holding
out her lighter to Sirius. “Ted keeps trying to get me to quit, says I’m
setting a bad example for Nymphadora. But, getting back to the topic. Bella hit
you?”
Remus squirmed.
“On the train, first year. First time she met him, he asked her what made her
superior as a Pureblood. She thought he was being cheeky and slapped him around
the face,” Sirius supplied and she laughed.
“And she lived? Remus’ wolf didn’t flare and rip her to shreds?” Remus gaped at
her and she ruffled his hair. “Sam tells me everything. I know how werewolves
work.”
Remus decided he quite liked Andromeda. He had expected Bellatrix and
Narcissa’s sister to be just like them, even if she had married a Muggleborn.
He was glad he was wrong.
“So, Mr Sirius. What about here? How is that going?” she enquired and Sirius
sucked at his cigarette for a few minutes before he answered.
“Can you kill Lucius and his little arse kissers for me?”
“Unfortunately, no. The slut getting to you?”
“He never stops. It’s ‘cause I’m the stud and he’s not. He’s wanted that title
ever since he got here, and it only took me a few weeks to get it,” Sirius said
dismissively. “Oh, and that little bitch Narcissa always whispering in his ear.
You know Reg’s in his gang, right? Oh yeah, right little suck up. Keeps going
on about how wonderful Lucius is and Lucius thinks and Lucius did this and
Lucius did that. If I wouldn’t be arrested for it, I’d kill him and bury him
down by the lake.”
“What about your classes? How are you getting on in those?”
“Straight Outstanding’s across the board.”
“Very nice,” she said. “I am very proud of you, do you know that?”
“No,” Sirius said, stubbing out his cigarette and pulling out his own pack to
light another. It was what Sirius did when he was upset, he chain-smoked. “No
one in the family is proud of me.”
She pulled him into a hug. He stiffened at first and then relaxed. Andromeda
had never hugged him before, no one in the family had. No one had hugged him
before at all, no one but Remus. “I am proud of you. It takes a lot of hard
work to get marks like yours. It’s not just the marks. I’m proud of you for
everything. It takes a lot of guts to stand up to the family, or at least
that’s what Ted keeps telling me. But you know, every time I feel like begging
forgiveness, grovelling to them, I just look at Nymphadora.” Sirius looked over
at the tiny girl using Peter as a shield from James’ tickling. “Even if they
somehow took me back, they would never take her. Or Ted. I worked too hard to
get my family, my real family. And one day you will have something you’re not
willing to give up. Until then, you still have me. And you have the twins. And,
never forgetting, you have wonderful friends who still like you-”
“Mistake and all,” Remus put in, making them laugh.
“You know, I think I already have something I’m not willing to give up,” Sirius
said.
Sirius finally knew what the feeling was, the one he always got around Remus
but could never figure out before.
He liked Remus, really liked him. Sirius could suddenly picture, with startling
clarity might he add, kissing Remus, touching him, being with him forever.
Oh Merlin. Sirius was in big trouble.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Sirius spent most of his fourth year wishing he had the nerve to tell Remus how
he felt and watching Remus covertly. Subsequently, he spent most of his fourth
year in detention for not paying attention in class. He spent his Christmas and
Easter breaks at Remus’ house, which didn’t help matters. In fact, it made them
worse, but he couldn’t say no, the word just wouldn’t come when Remus asked him
if he wanted to stay.
Sirius boarded the train for his fifth year without Remus. The teenage werewolf
had been forced to miss the train because of day three of that months change.
He would be arriving the next day by floo from the Leaky Cauldron. Sirius spent
most of the journey staring out of the window. He didn’t even retaliate when
the Slytherin’s came into their compartment to try and make trouble. At least
Lucius, Bellatrix, Rodolphus and Rabastan had left, thank Merlin. Severus and
Regulus just didn’t have the same bite without the elder members of their gang.
James and Peter gave him the space he obviously wanted, and dutifully waved him
off when he said he was going to the bathroom.
“What is wrong with you?”
Sirius spun around to find Regulus leaning against the wall, staring at him.
“What do you want, Reg? Because all I want is to go to the bathroom and take a
piss in peace,” Sirius said tiredly.
“Mother and father are worried about you,” the younger Black heir said. “They
asked me to talk to you.”
Sirius snorted. “Mother wouldn’t worry about me if I took a nosedive off a
bridge. Father is the one who’s worried, let’s just be honest shall we?”
Regulus smiled. “Fine, mother doesn’t give a damn, but father does. He noticed
how quiet you were this summer, when you weren’t at Potter’s that is. And just
now, when we came in, you didn’t even bat an eyelid. So, now I’m worried. I
thought you lived for arguing with us snakes. What is wrong with you?”
Sirius sighed. “Trust me, Reg, when I say you really don’t want to know.”
Regulus showing an interest in his life made Sirius nervous. The two brothers
had never had anything in common, aside from DNA. They had never, not once, had
a conversation that didn’t end in bloodshed. Sirius just wanted to exit the
conversation as soon as possible, before the two of them started throwing fists
and hexes left, right and centre.
Regulus must have sensed how uncomfortable he was making his brother. “Listen,
I know we’ve never gotten on-”
“Understatement,” Sirius interrupted, making Regulus smile.
“Good point. I just wanted to tell you that if you ever need to talk, or
anything, I’m here.”
Sirius’ jaw dropped. “Hang on,” he said as Regulus started to walk away. “What
the fuck is going on here? Why are you being nice to me? Usually you’re a
little shit.”
Regulus shrugged. “We’re brothers, right? Aren’t we supposed to help each other
out?”
“In your case, doesn’t that involve cyanide?”
Regulus laughed. “Most of the time. But, what with your marking coming up in a
summer or two, I thought maybe you could use a shoulder to lean on. Just think,
this time next year, you’ll be an old married man. The school will need a new
Stud, and I was thinking…”
“You were thinking I’d help you steal my title.”
Ah, so that was the game. Sirius was due to marry Morganna Evernight just after
his sixteenth birthday, and he was less than enthusiastic about it. Quite
frankly, he would rather slit his wrists. Sirius was also due to be ‘marked’ by
Voldemort either next summer or the summer after, become a fully fledged member
of the Death Eaters. Once again, he was desperately trying to find a way to
avoid it. If only there were some way to get away from his family without his
father killing him for it.
“Well, I am your brother.”
“Well, I’d rather eat my own eyeballs than help you get my title. Now, why
don’t you slither away back to your pit where you belong and stop pissing me
off?” Sirius snarled, his patience completely gone.
Regulus held up his hands in a move of submission. “Fine, fine, I’m going. Just
remember, no one is going to shag a married man.”
That was what Sirius needed to snap him out of the Remus haze he had been stuck
in: Regulus being a prick, reminding him of the life his family had planned for
him.
“Hey!”
Regulus turned around to find himself pinned to the wall, Sirius looming over
him with a hand around his throat.
“You listen to me, you little bastard. I have no intention of either marrying
that inbred bitch or being marked by that psycho arsehole. So, let’s get it
straight. I am the Hogwarts Stud and I will not be giving that title up because
of that little whore I’m betrothed to. I don’t need your shoulder to lean on,
and if you offer me anything as a way to get my title again, I will rip that
shoulder off and shove it so far up your arse you’ll be chewing on it. Got it?”
Sirius snarled and Regulus hurriedly nodded. “Good. Now fuck off.”
He shoved Regulus away and watched with satisfaction as the smaller boy
stumbled a bit before running back to his compartment and slamming the door.
Oh yes, Sirius had just needed to get his head straight.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Remus woke up to find Lily sitting beside him.
They were currently in the beginning of October, day three of the change. He
really hated this October. Not only did he start off the month with a change,
he would end the month with one too. Something about the lunar cycle going
funny, November’s change was a week early.
“Morning, Evans,” he croaked, sitting up gingerly. Madame Pomfrey had patched
him up at sunrise and left him to sleep it off in the Shack.
“Morning, Remus. Breakfast?” she said and Remus could just smell the nerves.
“Please.”
He accepted his tray and nibbled on his toast while Lily nibbled on her lower
lip. Okay, he knew his friends becoming Animagi and taking him out on the full
moon wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but they were always in control of him.
Was she still angry about it? Had she accidentally let it slip to a teacher? Or
was it something about the map they had made? It showed the whole castle, and
everyone in it. It was a modified form of the Locator Charm, and even Lily had
admitted it was an impressive feat for the quartet of fifteen year old wizards.
Had a teacher found it? Were they all in trouble?
“Lily, whatever you’re nervous about, just tell me. Did I do something bad last
night?” he asked. “Oh God, did I bite someone?”
“No, no, you didn’t bite someone. And you didn’t do anything bad. Not you,” she
said. “Remus, promise me you won’t shoot the messenger.”
“I promise.”
She stood up and backed away a few steps. “Sirius did something bad last night.
I wanted you to hear it from a friend before Professor Dumbledore comes here to
tell you.” There was a clatter on the stairs and she sighed. “Too late. Just
remember, James stopped it before it got too serious.”
Okay, Remus was very confused now. What had Sirius done? As Remus opened his
mouth to question her, Dumbledore appeared with James, Sirius and Severus.
“Why is Severus here?” Remus whispered, more terrified than he had ever been.
“Oh, shut it, Lupin,” Severus snapped. “I know what you are, I saw you last
night.”
Oh God, Remus couldn’t breathe.
“Mr Snape has promised not to say anything on the condition he is allowed to
work on an experimental potion,” Dumbledore said.
“What potion?” Remus asked.
“It is called the Wolfsbane Potion. It will allow a werewolf to keep their
human mind during their monthly changes, making them harmless. Mr Snape would
like to develop it, using you as his test subject. For that, we can buy his
silence.”
Remus stared at the Slytherin. It was too late to obliviate Severus, he had
seen too much. For Dumbledore to obliviate Severus, he could cause a lot of
damage, possibly leave him unhinged. Remus considered it. One experimental
potion every month in return for Severus’ silence. It was a small price to pay.
“How do I know you won’t poison me?”
Severus scoffed. “As if I’d waste my time,” he spat. “With this potion, I can
qualify early to be a Potions Master. I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing it
for me. I get my title, you get my silence. Do we have a deal?”
After a few moments of deliberation, Remus nodded and Dumbledore had the two of
them sign a contract guaranteeing that, no matter what, Severus would keep his
silence and Remus would take his potions until graduation. Once Severus had
placed his signature, he swept from the room and Remus curled his knees up to
his chest, resting his chin on them.
“How did he find out?” he whispered and Lily took another step back.
“Tell him,” she said.
Remus looked up to see Sirius shaking his head. Lily marched over to him and
grabbed him by the hair, pushing him closer to the bed.
“Tell him! This is your fucking mess, you fucking well clean it up!” she
yelled, shoving him away in disgust.
Sirius looked guiltily at Remus and wished he hadn’t. Those beautiful amber
eyes staring at him in confusion broke his heart. He knew now that he could
kiss any chance of Remus ever going out with him goodbye. He had been so
stupid, and in the process he had hurt Remus. He would be lucky if Remus ever
spoke to him again.
“I told him how to get into the tunnel,” Sirius mumbled and then watched as
Remus crumbled.
The werewolf sat there in shock, frozen under the weight of the confession.
Sirius had betrayed him, done the one thing he had promised he would never do.
“Remus, I am so sorry. I was just so angry at him. He kept going on about the
Dark Arts, and he was so smug, and what he did to you and Malcolm-”
Sirius didn’t get to finish his little outpouring. Remus leapt from the bed and
punched him around the face. The punch was so hard, it sent Sirius flying
across the room, splitting his lip and breaking his nose. Professor Dumbledore
didn’t do anything, he just stood there letting Remus handle it. If Sirius was
in danger of being murdered or seriously injured, he would intervene. But
Dumbledore wasn’t stupid enough to take on a fully mature werewolf the morning
after his third change. Many accused him of being an old fool, but he wasn’t
suicidal.
“Sorry? You’re sorry?” Remus breathed incredulously. “You betray me to that
piece of shit and you’re sorry? You know what, Sirius, you’re pathetic! You
swore to me you would keep my secret, you promised!”
“Remus, please, just let me explain!”
“I don’t want to hear your explanations! I don’t want anything from you except
your absence! Get! OUT!”
Sirius stared at him for a few moments before he hung his head in shame and
hauled himself to his feet, casting one last glance at Remus before he left the
room.
Remus stood there in silence as he tried to take in everything Sirius had said.
He had betrayed him. Nothing else seemed to be getting through at that moment.
Sirius had betrayed him. That was simple enough to understand, but what wasn’t
so clear was what actually hurt more.
Was it the betrayal that stabbed like a knife? Or was it the sadness in Sirius’
eyes?
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
It took nine days for Remus to even look at Sirius again, and thirteen for him
to speak to him. Sirius didn’t complain, he knew he was damn lucky Remus hadn’t
killed him.
“Explain,” Remus said one night.
The two of them were the only ones still awake, Peter and James had fallen
asleep hours ago. Sirius had been sitting silently doing his Charms homework
and he hadn’t realised Remus was still awake.
Sirius looked over to Remus’ bed to find Remus lying there staring at him.
“How long have you been awake?” Sirius asked cautiously.
“I haven’t gone to sleep yet. I want you to explain why you told him.”
Sirius set aside his homework and made his way over to Remus bed, moving very
slowly in case Remus decided he was better off dead. Remus sat up and smoothed
down the blanket Anne made him out of self heating wool. Remus only used it
when he felt particularly homesick, and he had been using it a lot since Sirius
betrayed him to Severus. Sirius was actually shocked that Remus hadn’t decided
to pack Hogwarts in and go home, he had every right to.
“Can I sit down?” Sirius whispered and Remus nodded. Sirius took a seat and
took a deep breath before he began to explain.
“I was walking past the Slytherin table and I heard Sniv- …I mean, Severus
going on about how great the Dark Arts were, and how he had heard of Greyback.
He kept going on about how incredible he was, how much power there was behind
what he did. And I just kept thinking about you, about how all that power made
you like this, about how much you hate it. I just wanted to show him what the
Dark Arts do to people, I wanted him to see what Greyback really did to people.
I wanted him to see how much Greyback hurt you,” Sirius said, staring at the
blanket. “I’m sorry. It was so stupid, and I’ll completely understand if you
never want to talk to me again.”
Remus was very silent, and Sirius was just waiting for him to tell him to fuck
off. “That’s what Lily told me,” Remus murmured and Sirius looked up at him.
Remus smiled at the surprise in those blue eyes.
“Yes, Lily spoke to me. And James, and Peter, and Dumbledore, and McGonagall,
and Pomfrey, and Slughorn. In fact, I don’t think there’s a single person who
knows about me who hasn’t told me the story. I heard that you told Severus how
to get into the tunnel, and Peter overheard you. He went and got James, who
pulled Severus out before I bit him, but not before he saw what I am. He saw
too much, and James said too much to him, for Dumbledore to obliviate him
without damage. He was going to try, but Severus came up with the Wolfsbane
deal. Am I right?”
Sirius nodded.
“You know, if he poisons me, I’m coming back to haunt you.”
Sirius looked up into those amber eyes and suddenly couldn’t breathe. He
couldn’t explain it, this incredible pull he felt to just lean in and kiss
Remus. He didn’t act on it. Oh no, Remus might actually kill him for that at
this point. Best not to push it.
“You forgive me?” Sirius asked.
“No, and I won’t forget it either. But I understand it. I’m not happy about
what you did, but I’m not going to kill you for it either. Just promise me
something,” Remus said.
“Name it.”
“Promise me you will never tell anyone ever again.”
“I swear.” He paused. “Does this mean you’re still my friend?”
“Yes, I’m still your friend. And you better cherish me as your friend, because
you so don’t deserve my friendship after this.”
“I will,” Sirius said immediately and Remus smiled at him.
“Did you hear about James’ crush?”
“What crush?” Sirius said, looking over at his sleeping best friend.
“On Evans.”
Sirius grabbed one of Remus’ pillows to bury his face in to cover his laughter.
“No way! But she hates him!”
“Yes, but he doesn’t seem deterred by it. He’s asked her out seventeen times in
the last week, that I know of. She always says she’d rather date the Giant
Squid, or something like that. It’s brilliant.”
Sirius dissolved into another bout of laughter and, this time, Remus laughed
with him.
Remus watched his mate laugh and wondered if he’d ever be able to tell Sirius
how he felt. Sirius hadn’t dated anyone yet this year, but that didn’t mean he
wouldn’t. Remus knew he could handle it until he admitted how he felt to
Sirius, and it would be fine if Sirius didn’t reciprocate his feelings, just so
long as they didn’t have sex.
But it didn’t stop it hurting when he thought of Sirius with someone else.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Sirius couldn’t take it anymore, he just couldn’t. There was this thing inside
him fighting to get out, and if he didn’t kiss Remus soon, the pull was going
to drive him insane.
It was this simple reason that had him declining the Halloween Hogsmeade trip.
Remus had only come back from the Shack that morning, and he had looked so
exhausted that James had only asked him if he wanted to come as a gesture, all
of them knowing full well Remus would say no. But it had surprised them when
Sirius said he wouldn’t be going either.
So here he was, a stormy Saturday afternoon, trying not to look at Remus’ arse.
They were in the dorm, Remus searching for a book, and Sirius couldn’t stop
staring at that wonderful backside as it passed him time and time again.
Sirius couldn’t help but notice that Remus had come into his maturity, at long
last. When he saw him heading off with his parents at the end of their fourth
year, Remus had still been as small as a first year, skinny, and very very
pale. Not the case when Remus finally arrived for their fifth year. Remus had
not invited them to stay for the summer, and Anne’s letter had stated that
Remus was going through a difficult patch with his ‘condition’. Further letters
had explained that Remus had hit his werewolf maturity, and it was not a
pleasant experience to be around his constant mood swings. Well, when Remus had
arrived for their fifth year, Sirius had seen just what an effect maturing had
worked on the object of his desires.
Remus was bloody gorgeous, there was no other way to put it. Only an inch
shorter than Sirius now, with a lithely muscled frame, his amber eyes had gone
from sweet to enchanting. He was a beautiful example of a man, and a pure
example of a dominant alpha werewolf. He was all about control and strength
now, and it was more than a little confusing to have Remus still be as sweet as
he always was with that commanding aura around him.
“Remus?” Sirius said and Remus hummed without turning around. Sirius gulped. It
was now or never, and now was exactly the moment. Who knew when they would get
another moment alone like this?
“Remus, I…”
“Go on, Sirius. I’ll be done here in a moment, but I’m listening,” Remus
reassured, his head under James’ bed.
Sirius closed his eyes. “Remus, I love you. I’m in love with you. I think
you’re the most amazing boy I’ve ever met, and I want to be with you. And if
you don’t want to be with me, please just tell me now, or I might go insane.”
He opened his eyes to find Remus standing there staring at him. “Oh Merlin.
Remus, I get this feeling in my stomach every time I’m near you, or think about
you, or see you, and I can’t stop thinking about you. I want you more than I’ve
ever wanted anyone else, and I can’t help it. I’ve tried, but I just can’t. I
love you, Remus.”
There was absolute still silence and Remus could see Sirius wishing he could
reel the words back in. Oh God, his mate had just professed love. In all his
widest imaginings, and he had had quite a few of those since he matured back in
July, he had never imagined love. Maybe Sirius liking him, fancying him, maybe
even wanting to date him. But never love. Remus suppressed his smile at Sirius
nervously chewing his lower lip. Now, now, that was his job.
Sirius watched, hardly able to breathe, as Remus slowly crossed the room,
smiling softly. One of two things was about to happen. Either Remus was about
to reject him, or Sirius was going to get the kiss he had been dreaming of for
over a year. He was hoping for the latter.
Remus entwined their hands and kissed him, pressing his body against Sirius’.
Sirius was completely still for a moment, before he kissed back.
Sirius felt that desperate pull inside him disappear, replaced instead by a
warm fuzzy feeling. He could feel Remus smiling into the kiss and Sirius
moaned, loving the feel of those soft lips on his own. Sirius knew, more than
he knew anything else, that he could never let anyone but Remus kiss him.
Remus pulled back and kissed the tip of Sirius’ nose before resting his
forehead against Sirius’.
“I love you too.”
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“Everyone is staring at us.”
Remus looked around. “You’re right, everyone is staring at us,” he agreed.
“Does it bother you?”
Sirius smiled. “Have I ever complained about people admiring me?”
“No.”
“It’s you, I don’t want them staring at my boyfriend.”
Remus grinned. “Worried one of them might try and steal me from the Hogwarts
Stud?” he teased.
“Why not? You’re gorgeous, you could have any guy you want.”
Remus sighed and laid back. They were sitting by the lake, enjoying the first
warm days of the year while Peter and James were in detention yet again. Remus
being a Prefect had it’s perks. Namely, Sirius wasn’t caught sneaking around
half so much, and if he was he usually had Remus with him so he was allowed to
be out after curfew. Christmas had been quiet, the two of them choosing to stay
at Hogwarts. Remus suspected that Sirius was afraid to face his parents after
what happened with Severus. It hadn’t mattered as Anne and John had come to
Hogwarts to visit Remus and tracked the Pureblood down. They had read him the
riot act and then made him promise to visit for Easter. Sirius had agreed
immediately.
It was March, a week after Remus’ sixteenth birthday, and the two of them were
discussing all the issues they had put off discussing. Like Sirius’ reputation.
They had yet to do anything but kiss, and both of them were very happy with
that arrangement. There was no pressure to move too fast, which Remus was fine
with and Sirius was enjoying immensely.
“All right, here it is. The long put off conversation,” Remus said, sitting up
and shoving Sirius’ cigarettes at him. “Light up, it’ll go smoother with a
cigarette in your mouth.”
Sirius grinned and lit up. “Okay, I’m ready.”
“I don’t want you to see anyone else while we’re together,” Remus said bluntly.
“I know that, with you being the Hogwarts Stud, everyone is after you, but I
don’t want it to be like that. I want to be your one and only.”
“Remus, I haven’t kissed or touched anyone else since Halloween. In fact, I
think we can safely say people are now only coming to me for tips on how to get
my crown,” Sirius said with a smile.
“Really?”
“Yup. You’re my one and only. People are very very jealous.”
“Jealous? Of what, me having the Stud all to myself?”
“There is that,” Sirius said. “There might be the fact of me getting the most
gorgeous guy in the whole school for my very own.”
Remus blushed and Sirius chucked his cigarette away before he leaned in,
kissing his neck. Remus moaned. “How do you always manage to find that one
spot?”
“I am very dedicated to pleasing my beautiful boyfriend,” Sirius said between
kisses.
Remus giggled, wrapping his arms around Sirius’ shoulders and letting him lay
him down. “I’m not beautiful.”
“To me, you are,” Sirius argued. “To me, you are gorgeous, beautiful,
wonderful…”
“Stop! Anymore like that from you and you’ll be able to cook things on my
face.”
Sirius laughed, pulling back to lock his blue eyes with Remus’ amber ones.
“Okay, okay, back to conversation,” he said. “So, we’ve agreed that I’m off the
market, solely for your eyes, hands and lips only. What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Are you off the market?”
“Do you need to ask?” Remus said, laughing, and Sirius chuckled guiltily.
“Good point.” He paused. “There is something I want to know.”
“Ask away.”
“How far did you go with Malcolm?”
Remus spluttered for a moment. “What?”
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” Sirius said, rolling off him and sitting up,
grabbing the pack to light up again.
Remus sat up and reached over, plucking the pack from his embarrassed
boyfriend. “It’s okay, you just caught me off guard is all. You really want to
know how far me and Malcolm went?”
“If you want to tell me.”
Remus smiled and kissed him hard, making Sirius smile and thread his fingers
through the wavy sandy brown hair. Sweet Merlin, did Remus know how to kiss.
Never had kissing been this much fun for Sirius. Usually, he was in control.
How was it that Remus stripped away everything until all that was left was
Sirius’ need to be touched?
“Remus,” Sirius moaned as the werewolf began to nuzzle his neck. “Oh Merlin,
please don’t stop.”
“You like?” Remus murmured into his neck.
“Oh yes, I like.”
They spent the next hour like that, kissing and caressing, making each other
moan and gasp.
“This is how far me and Malcolm got,” Remus said.
“This? You mean making out?”
“Yup. We never even took our shirts off. Clothes stayed on at all times.”
“You never even saw his dick?”
Remus laughed. “No! Did you?”
Sirius blushed. “Yes. He went down on me once, before the two of you got
together. He wasn’t half bad at it. I must say he was very well endowed,”
Sirius said, making Remus laugh.
“Christ, you got further with my boyfriend than I did,” Remus giggled.
“You asked!”
“You’re right, I did,” Remus agreed.
Sirius opened his mouth to tell Remus that he loved him, but he found himself
pinned to the ground, Remus kissing him senseless. Sirius moaned as Remus’
tongue duelled with his, wrapping his arms around Remus’ neck.
“Sirius?” Remus whispered against his lips.
“Yes?”
“Can we try something new?”
Sirius cocked an eyebrow. “Something new? What kind of something new?”
“Well, I was kind of thinking about maybe taking some of the clothes off, and
see where we go from there.”
“You sure you want to?”
“Yes. How about we go to that wonderful place called the Prefects bathroom and
see where the mood takes us?”
The two of them relocated as fast as they could, without looking too desperate.
Remus uttered the password and they slid inside, locking the door behind them.
Once they were sure they wouldn’t be interrupted, Remus let Sirius loose on the
taps, filling the pool-sized tub.
“What is it with you and baths?” Remus asked. “Why do you love them so much?”
“I don’t know,” Sirius said, tilting his head to one side. “I think it’s the
water. Something about the hot water washing everything away.”
Remus made his way over to the suddenly depressed boy and captured his lips.
“Then I say we take a bath,” he murmured and slowly pulled off Sirius’ cloak,
then his robes and his jumper.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Sirius said as he returned the favour,
leaving the two of them in their shirts.
“Yes,” Remus said, kissing him and unbuttoning his shirt before pushing it off
his shoulders.
Sirius grinned and removed Remus’ shirt, pushing it off his shoulders before
running his hands slowly up his arms. He paused at Remus’ bite mark scar,
running his fingertips over the wound.
“Am I hurting you?” Sirius asked as Remus hung his head.
“No, you’re not hurting me. It’s just…no one has ever touched it like that.”
“Like what?”
“Well, when my parents see it, or touch it, they get this look on their face.
This guilty look. And Madame Pomfrey looks all pitying. But you…you don’t seem
to mind it.”
“Of course I don’t. It’s just a part of you. I just get pissed off to think of
Greyback hurting you,” Sirius said. He bent his head and kissed the mark,
slowly tracing it with his tongue. Remus giggled and squirmed.
“That tickles!” Remus shrieked.
“So, how is that mood taking you?”
Remus kissed him as he reached for Sirius’ belt. He unbuckled it and pulled it
from his trousers, before unbuttoning and unzipping them, pushing them down
Sirius’ legs. Sirius toed off his shoes and stepped out of the fallen clothes,
steadying himself by holding onto Remus’ shoulder as he pulled off his socks,
not once loosing contact with his lips.
He reached for Remus’ belt and waited until Remus nodded before opening it,
pulling it from his trousers. Remus smiled into the kiss as Sirius freed him
from his trousers. The two of them sank to the tiled floor and Sirius pushed
him back so he could remove his shoes and socks.
“I’m enjoying this mood,” Sirius said and then froze as Remus toyed with the
waistband of his boxers. “Remus, are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes, I am absolutely sure.”
Remus pulled off the black boxers and stroked the smooth skin of his boyfriends
hips. He kissed the Pureblood once more before he laid back and removed his own
boxers, tossing the blue fabric aside. Sirius gulped when he saw how well-
endowed his boyfriend was. Considering how thin Remus was everywhere else, it
was a bit of a shock to see such thickness. And length. And Remus wasn’t even
half hard yet. If Sirius wasn’t so confident, he might have felt more than a
little inadequate. Sirius shivered when he imagined sucking such a beautiful
cock. Slowly, they kissed their way to the tub and sank down into the hot
water.
“Definitely liking this mood,” Sirius said as Remus swam away from him. They
did a few laps of the pool-sized tub and then took to a water fight.
“I win,” Remus said as Sirius came up for air, spluttering and spitting out
water.
“That’s cheating, using your werewolf strength.”
“I didn’t use that so I didn’t cheat,” Remus said, Sirius pulling him into his
arms.
Their sweet kiss gathered heat fast, and Sirius pushed Remus up against the
wall, warm water splashing over the floor. Sirius nibbled his neck, scraping
his teeth along the tender flesh and Remus stopped him.
“I can’t bite you,” Remus said. “I mean, I don’t know if I can or not in human
form. So, if you feel me use my teeth when I kiss you, you have to stop me,
okay? I would never bite you on purpose-”
“Hush,” Sirius said, covering his mouth with his hand. “I get it. You don’t
want to get carried away and infect me. It’s okay. If I feel you trying to bite
me, I’ll stop you.”
Remus grinned and kissed him. “You know, I think I know where this mood has
taken me.”
“Oh yeah? Where’s that?”
“I’ve never had a blow job. Never given one either. I was thinking first you
give me one, show me what to do, and then I return the favour.”
Sirius smiled. “Now, for me to give you head, you’re going to need to sit on
the edge of the tub, because I might be good, but I’m not good enough to
breathe underwater,” Sirius said, reaching between Remus’ legs and stroking
him, making Remus throw his head back and moan.
Sirius helped him pull himself out of the tub and stroked his hands up the
trimly muscled thighs, his eyes landing on the huge erection clear for the
whole world to see. He laid soft kisses on Remus’ flat stomach, slowly making
his way down. He nervously licked the tip, swirling his tongue around it, and
Remus gasped. Sirius took him in whole, as deep as he could, Remus half
screaming, and Sirius hummed his approval, Remus’ fingers threading through his
hair as he laid back, moaning.
Remus had never felt anything so wonderful. The feel of that hot mouth around
him, the knowledge that it was his mate doing this to him, it was incredible.
Sirius fondled his balls, weighing them like precious jewels, pressing into the
soft skin behind and, all too soon, his teenage stamina was pushed to its
limit. He tried to call out to Sirius, to warn him, but all he managed to do
was scream his pleasure.
When he next opened his eyes, Sirius was resting his head on his thigh, looking
very saddened.
“Sirius? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Remus said, sitting up and sliding back
into the water.
Sirius wiped away his tears and shook his head. “It’s nothing,” he said. “Soap
in my eye.”
“Liar. Come on, tell me.”
Sirius stared into the amber eyes and chewed his lower lip. He wrapped his arms
around Remus’ waist and buried his head in Remus’ shoulder, feeling those
strong slim arms around him, hands stroking his back, smoothing his hair. Of
all the things Sirius had told Remus about his family, he had never mentioned
his betrothal. He was due to get married in three months and he would have to
give Remus up.
“I’m betrothed,” Sirius whispered and Remus froze.
Remus couldn’t quite process what Sirius had just said. Betrothed? Sirius was
betrothed? When had that happened? Why hadn’t Sirius told him? Who was she? A
million questions were running through his head, and he pushed Sirius back,
looking into those blue eyes.
“You’re getting married?” he breathed.
“I’m supposed to. Merlin, Remus, I’ve never even met her,” Sirius said before
he dissolved into a bout of tears. “I can’t, Remus, I can’t marry her. But my
father will kill me if I don’t. Remus, I can’t give you up. Oh, Remus, I don’t
know what to do!”
Remus pulled him into a hug, soothing him as best he could. So, this was like
Lucius and Narcissa. It was probably arranged before Sirius could walk or talk,
maybe before he could hold his own head up. Sirius had never even met the girl,
and she was probably inbred, knowing the Black family.
“What’s her name?” Remus asked when Sirius had calmed down enough to speak.
“Morganna Evernight. She’s from Egypt. A Pureblood,” Sirius said as he pulled
back, grabbing a flannel to wipe his face.
“When are you supposed to be getting married?”
“Three days after I go home for the holidays.”
“And if you get married you won’t be able to be with me?”
“No, I won’t. If I married Morganna, I could never be with you again, it’s in
the magic that seals the marriage. I’d have to give you up,” Sirius said, fresh
tears falling down his face. “That’s not the worst of it.”
“There’s more?” Remus asked incredulously.
Sirius nodded. “I’m due to be marked by Voldemort.”
“What? When?” Remus gasped, running his hand over the pale mark-free skin of
Sirius’ left forearm.
“Either this summer or next, I’m not sure. I told you my parents want me to be
a Death Eater. Now they’ve decided it should happen soon. I can’t think of a
way to talk my way out of it.”
Remus stood there, up to his neck in warm frothy water, and tried to think of a
way to keep his mate. He couldn’t let this happen, he just couldn’t.
“Remus, I don’t want you to give me a blow job. I just want you to make this
all go away. Please, Remus. Please, just find a way for this not to happen,
find a way for me to stay with you,” Sirius begged.
Remus pulled him into his arms, stroking his hair.
“I won’t give you up, I love you too much to do that. We’ll find a way to be
together, I promise.”
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
The boys could hear everything, and it wasn’t pretty. They almost felt sorry
for Severus. Almost.
That afternoon Severus had called Lily a mudblood. He deserved every word she
spat at him.
“Just stay away from me! I mean it, Severus, don’t you ever come near me
again!” she snarled and then came storming back inside, slamming the portrait
closed behind her.
She was in her dressing gown and fluffy pink slippers and she looked close to
tears. Remus had to admit, when Severus had called him that horrible word, he
had been more angry than upset, but none of them had ever imagined that Severus
would use it against Lily.
Severus and Lily had caught the train together, been friends since primary
school, spent so much time together. But no, when she had seen James stripping
the boy, she had intervened, as usual. Only, Severus’ reaction had not been the
usual. When Lily had intervened before, Severus had always thanked her, and
then the two of them would spend a few hours alone together, talking and joking
around. But not this time.
This time, Severus had turned on Lily, and hammered the final nail in the
coffin of their friendship.
Lily stared at all of them, her green eyes blazing. “Whatever you’re about to
say, just don’t,” she warned.
Remus thought it was a very stupid thing to do, but James walked towards her.
As he came within reaching distance of her, Lily struck out, slapping and
punching every inch of him she could get hold of, screaming that it was all his
fault. She screamed that if he had just left Severus alone, she wouldn’t have
lost her best friend.
“He’s nuts,” Peter whispered.
“No, he’s not,” Sirius replied. “He knows exactly what he’s doing.”
James flinched at each impact of her fists but didn’t say a word. He simply
moved closer and closer, bringing up his arms to wrap around her. She dissolved
into them, sobbing for all she was worth, her hitting mutating into clutching
at his shirt. He sank to the floor with her, holding her as she cried.
“Why would he call me that?” she sobbed.
“Because he’s a Slytherin. All they care about is blood purity. He’s scum, and
he was never good enough to even breathe the same air as you, let alone be your
friend,” James said honestly.
“But…but…”
“Lily, listen to me. I know me and you don’t always get on, sometimes we
downright hate each other. But no matter what, I will never call you what he
did, I’ve never thought of you that way. None of us have,” he interrupted.
She didn’t talk after that, she didn’t have to. She let herself fall apart, and
James was the one to put her back together again.
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Canis walked into the garden to find his eldest son sitting in the oak tree.
“I didn’t know you climbed trees,” he said as he hoisted himself up, settling
himself in the cradle of three branches. “Are you all right?”
“It’s the night before my wedding to a woman I’ve only just met at dinner. I’m
just peachy,” Sirius said, lighting up a cigarette.
“You know I don’t like you smoking.”
“Well, I’m meant to be marrying a woman I don’t know, I think I’m entitled to a
bad habit or two,” Sirius said, making his father smile.
“In that case, can I have one?”
Sirius stared at his father. “I didn’t know you smoked,” he said, holding out
his pack.
“Your mother thinks I quit just before you were born,” Canis said, lighting up.
“She doesn’t know I smoke at every meeting.”
Translation: meeting with Voldemort.
“Father, what if I wasn’t sure about this wedding?”
Canis smiled. “Sirius, I wasn’t sure about my wedding. But I grit my teeth and
went through with it. Me and your mother have grown to be…very…ummm…fond of
each other. Look at us. We have two wonderful sons, a beautiful house, a
successful business. You will find your way. The first step is marrying
Morganna tomorrow.”
Sirius sighed. “Father, I don’t want to marry her. And I don’t want to be
marked either,” he said and then braced himself for his father hitting him.
Instead, his father rubbed his shoulder. “Sometimes, you have to do things you
don’t want to,” Canis said. “This is one of those things. Tomorrow, you will
stand up there and say your vows. And I will be so proud of you. Now, I’m going
to bed. Don’t stay up too late, you have to look good up there tomorrow. Try
and get some rest.”
Canis rubbed his shoulder once more before he climbed down and disappeared
inside.
Sirius sighed, lighting a new cigarette with the old one. He had tried telling
his father, but, as always, his father didn’t want to hear it. Sirius couldn’t
go through with it, he just couldn’t. He couldn’t give up Remus.
Sirius leapt down from the tree and made his way through the house, checking to
see who was still awake. He had just convinced himself that everyone was
sleeping when he walked into his bedroom. There, sitting on his bed, was his
Uncle Alphard. His fathers brother was sitting on his bed, looking around
amusedly at all the Gryffindor posters and banners covering the walls.
“Uncle Alphard. Can I help you with something?” Sirius said cautiously.
“Yes. Close the door,” Alphard said. Sirius closed the door and Alphard
silenced the room. “I know you don’t want to marry Morganna tomorrow, and I
know you don’t want to be marked. So, I’m going to do the best thing in the
world for you.”
“What’s that?”
“Tell you to leave.”
“What?” Sirius breathed after a moment of shocked silence.
Alphard came forwards a pressed a tiny gold key into his hand. “This is a key
to a Gringotts vault, number seven hundred and eleven. It’s in your name, and
I’ve put some money into it for you. Sirius, you’re not made to be a Death
Eater, and if you marry that girl tomorrow you will hate yourself or the rest
of your life. So, here’s what you do. Pack your things, get on that bike of
yours, and hightail it out of here. If Canis disowns you, you have the money in
this vault to get by.”
Sirius couldn’t believe it. “Why are you helping me?” he asked suspiciously.
“Dumbledore. He talked to me, told me about your young man. Sirius, this is
your chance. Don’t ask questions, just go.”
Sirius pulled the man into a hug. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, just disappear,” Alphard said before he slipped from the room.
Sirius managed to pack his whole life into his school trunk in less than five
minutes. As he was putting the last of his clothes into his trunk, Regulus
slipped into the room.
“What are you doing?” Regulus asked. “Where are you going?”
“Reg, I can’t stay here, I can’t marry her.”
“Father will kill you!”
“I know that, but it’s better than going through with this. Reg,” he said,
taking his brother by the shoulders. “You told me on the train that if there
was ever anything I ever needed I could come to you. Well, I need you to forget
you ever saw this.”
“Sirius…”
“Please, Reg?”
“I don’t know…father will be so mad.”
“Regulus, think about this. With me gone, you’ll be number one son. You won’t
just have mother’s affections, you’ll have father’s too. You will be the golden
child, the one who never gets it wrong.”
“You’re turning your back on your responsibilities!” Regulus argued. He shoved
Sirius’ hands off and moved to the door. “I’m going to tell father.”
Sirius didn’t know what else to do. He had to stop Regulus somehow. And then it
hit him. All he had to do was dangle something Regulus really wanted. Sirius
may not have been a Slytherin, but he had a whole family of them to learn from
over the years.
“I’ll help you get my title,” Sirius hissed.
Regulus turned around slowly. “Go on.”
“When we go back to Hogwarts, I will teach you everything I know about becoming
the Hogwarts Stud. I’ll ensure you get that title, if you just let me go,”
Sirius promised, holding his breath as Regulus considered it.
“You swear you’ll get me that title?” Regulus checked.
“Reg, come on. I’m with Remus. I haven’t dated anyone but Remus since
Halloween. The title is on the market, and with my help you are guaranteed to
get it.”
“What if you and Remus break up? You’ll want the title back, won’t you?”
Sirius laughed. “Reg, I love him. I am in love with Remus. I’m doing this so I
can be with him. I want to spend the rest of my life with Remus. The title is
yours if you just help me now.”
Another moment of tense deliberation before Regulus nodded. “Fine,” Regulus
said. “I’ll help you.”
Sirius breathed a sigh of relief and shoved the last of his clothes in his
trunk before he closed the lid and locked it. He shrunk the trunk; living in a
house with so many enchantments allowed him to perform magic without being
detected. Regulus helped him sneak down to the basement garage and stow the
trunk in the compartment under the seat before the two brothers wheeled the
bike up the exit ramp.
“Wait until you’re a few streets away before you start the engine or you’ll
wake everyone,” Regulus said.
“Thank you, Reg.”
For the first time in their lives, the two brothers shared a brief hug, before
Regulus snuck back inside and Sirius was left alone. He cast one last look at
Number Twelve Grimmauld Place before he began to wheel the bike away.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Sirius looked up from his sandwich to find his irate father standing in the
kitchen doorway.
It had taken Sirius most of the night to fly to James’ house, and most of the
morning to explain what had happened. James’ mother had then sat him down,
plied him with a sandwich and set about fixing up the spare room for him.
Sirius felt he should have known that James’ house was the first place his
father would look for him.
“Sirius, I would like a word with you,” Canis said, and the boy could see his
father’s temper bubbling away just underneath the surface. But there was
something else in his father’s eyes, something Sirius had never seen before,
something he didn’t have a name for.
Sirius nodded and followed Canis out into the garden. Once they were out of
earshot, Canis faced his son.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” Canis hissed. “At this very moment,
you have one distraught bride crying her eyes out, eight hundred guests milling
around our garden, and two very pissed off parents. What the hell were you
thinking?”
“I tried to tell you last night,” Sirius said. “I don’t want to marry her. I
can’t, father, please understand that.”
“Sirius Orion Black, you are the heir. You must accept your responsibilities.
It is time for you to grow up and be a man. You’re coming home. You’re going to
put on those robes, stand up at that alter and get married,” Canis said,
walking back to the house.
“No!” Sirius yelled.
Canis stopped in his tracks and Sirius braced himself. He couldn’t remember the
last time someone had refused his father anything, and this was a big something
to refuse. The Black patriarch slowly turned around and peered at his son.
“Sirius, what is this really about? Do you feel that Morganna isn’t good enough
a wife for you?”
“It’s not that-”
“Well, would you rather I found you a male spouse? Is that it? Are you gay?”
“Yes, I am, but that’s not the poi-”
“A male spouse can be arranged for you. Morganna has a brother. It would be no
trouble to arrange for you to marry him instead.”
“Will you just stop and listen?” Sirius cried, exasperated.
Canis stopped talking, crossed his arms across his chest and smiled. “All
right, son, I’m listening. Come on, my little dog, tell your old man what’s
going on here.”
Sirius took a deep breath. Oh well, this was it.
“Father, I will not be getting married to Morganna, or her brother, or any
other spouse you pick out for me. Father, I met someone. I love him.”
Canis nodded for a moment before he spoke. “This someone you’ve met, the one
you love…is he Pureblood? Suitable as your husband?”
“His name is Remus Lupin.”
Canis’ jaw dropped. He moved to stand very close to his son. “Sirius, not only
is that boy a mudblood, he’s a werewolf too. Think of the shame you’ll be
bringing on the family. You cannot marry that animal!”
Sirius couldn’t help it, he saw red. Hearing someone refer to his sweet Remus
as an animal made his temper flare. He punched his father square on the jaw.
Canis’ head snapped to the side and he stared wide eyed at his son. His lip was
bleeding.
“Don’t you dare speak about him like that! Just because Greyback’s a monster,
don’t tarnish Remus with his brush. Remus is sweet and kind and loyal. He is
more a man than you’ll ever be!” Sirius snarled. “Look at you! You’re such a
sheep! Following Voldemort, doing everything he says like a lost little lamb,
it’s pathetic!”
Canis stood open mouthed for a moment before he spoke. “You think this Remus is
good enough for you? You think he’ll be there forever? Let me tell you
something, boy. This thing you think you love will abandon you for natures
call, all his kind do. And all this nonsense about Muggles. Voldemort is coming
to power, and you’re either with him or against him. Now, I will not tell
anyone about Remus’ condition, I wouldn’t bring that kind of shame to the
family. But I tell you now, boy, either you come home right now or don’t even
think of coming back.”
“I’m not coming back.”
“Sirius, you will have no financial help from us anymore. You’ll be on your
own,” Canis warned.
“Fine,” Sirius spat. “I’ll have Remus, I’ll get by. I don’t need anything but
him. I’d rather have no family than be in that house. I’d rather be penniless
than be a coward like you.”
It was, evidently, the wrong thing to say. Canis began punching Sirius, the
young wizard falling to his knees and then curling up in a ball as the blows
rained down on him. His father was screaming how worthless he was, how
pathetic, how much of a disappointment he was. Sirius covered his head with his
hands and kicked out against his father’s shins, trying to defend himself.
Just as Sirius was sure he was going to pass out, his father was pulled away by
James’ father, the Potter patriarch murmuring to Canis about how undignified it
was. Canis cast one last disgusted look at his son before he straightened his
robes.
“I’ll keep my mouth shut about this mudblood boy, but this is it, Sirius. No
more money from us. Don’t ever show your face in my house again. You are no son
of mine.”
Canis stalked away and James helped Sirius to his feet. “You can’t stay here,”
James said. “He’ll come back, you know he will. You can’t stay here, Pads. Go
to Remus. Remus lives in the Muggle World, your father will never go there to
find you. Dad refuelled the bike. Get on it and go.”
“My stuff-”
“Still in your trunk in the bike, mum hadn’t got around to resizing it for you.
Go, Sirius. Send me an owl when you’re sorted.”
Sirius squeezed his shoulder and nodded at Mr and Mrs Potter before he limped
through the house, jumping on the bike and hightailing it out of there as fast
as the machine would carry him.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Remus couldn’t sleep.
Sirius was probably married by now, and Remus could kiss his mate goodbye.
Remus couldn’t help it, he kept picturing Sirius with some faceless woman.
Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was his beautiful Sirius with
someone else.
He threw back the blankets and left his bed, padding downstairs to make some
tea. If he couldn’t sleep, he might as well do something. He had just poured
hot water into the mug when there was a roar of a motorbike and then a frantic
knocking on the front door.
Remus heard his parents sitting up in bed as he moved to open it.
“Sirius!”
Remus threw back the door and pulled Sirius inside, waiting until the door was
closed before he started to examine the bloodied face.
“Oh God, what happened? Sirius, sweetheart, look at you!” Remus said.
Sirius pushed his hand away and wrapped his arms around Remus’ neck, burying
his face.
“I couldn’t do it, Remus,” he sobbed. “I couldn’t marry her. It was the only
way, and my father, oh Merlin, my father was so angry. Uncle Alphard gave me
some money and Regulus took my title to stay silent and I went to James’, but
my father found me and we had a row, and I said things, and I hit him, and he
beat me, and James told me to come here.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down,” Remus said, rubbing the slim back. “Let me get
you cleaned up and then you can tell me what happened in more than one breath.”
Anne and John appeared at the bottom of the stairs just as Remus pulled Sirius
away.
“What the hell happened?” Anne said, hurrying forwards to look at Sirius. “Who
did this?”
“His father,” Remus said. “Help me clean him up before he explains properly.
He’s not making a lot of sense.”
John ran up to the bathroom and grabbed all the healing lotions and potions he
could find while Anne filled a bowl with warm water. Remus sat Sirius down and
made him hold still while he sponged away the blood. Anne healed Sirius’ broken
nose, and ribs, but proclaimed the bruising would have to stay.
“We have to be able to explain this to the guys. With the noise of that bike,
someone will have seen you arrive all bloodied. We have to be able to explain
this, so the bruising has to stay,” she said as there was a knock at the door.
“Told you so. Can’t hide much in this street. John, whoever it is, get rid of
them.”
John opened the door a crack. “Jim, this is a really bad time.”
“I know that, lad, it’s two in the morning. Joe called me. He wanted to know
what young Sirius’ bike was doing here. We all heard it tear through the
street, and we saw the lights on,” Jim said.
John sighed and opened the door, revealing the battered teen. “Sirius is in a
spot of trouble. We’ll take care of him. We’ll come by tomorrow, clear it all
up.”
Jim nodded. “Of course, of course. If you need any help, give us a shout,” he
said before he stepped away.
John closed the door and made cups of tea while Remus had Sirius recount the
whole tale, slowly this time. At the end of it, Remus wanted to tear Canis to
shreds and Anne refused to let Sirius leave the house anytime soon.
“I just couldn’t do it,” Sirius said, holding an ice pack to his cheekbone.
“I’d have to give Remus up, and I can’t do that, I just can’t.”
“We understand, dear,” Anne said, handing him a pain potion. “For your ribs.
Come on, drink it down, that’s a lad.”
Sirius chucked it down and fixed his eyes on Remus. “I couldn’t do it. I love
you, Remus,” he said.
“I know you do. You just gave up everything for me, I know how much you love
me, Sirius,” Remus said with a smile. “Now, I’m going to make you a sandwich,
and mum is going to transfigure you a bed. You’re going to take a sleeping
draught for tonight, just so you can get some rest. And then, in the morning,
we’ll sort everything out.”
Sirius nodded and John retrieved his trunk before disappearing to put his bike
in the garage for safekeeping. Anne went upstairs to sort Sirius a bed.
“You love me, don’t you?” Sirius whispered as Remus fixed his sandwich.
“Because if you don’t then I really have nothing left.”
Remus brought the sandwich to the table and gently slid into Sirius’ lap. “Am I
hurting you?”
“No. The pain potion has kicked in.”
“Good. Listen to me and listen good. Sirius Orion Black, I love you. I want to
be with you forever. We’ll make this work, we’ll figure it out. So, just this
once, will you let me take care of you for a change?”
Sirius laughed and then clutched his ribs. “Laughing hurts,” he gasped, and
then moaned as Remus kissed him gently, mindful of his split lip.
Remus pulled away and kissed him on the forehead before regaining his own seat
as his mother returned.
Sirius munched down his sandwich and then carefully changed into his pyjamas.
Remus came in just as he slipped into bed.
Remus sat down carefully on the edge of the bed and brushed the raven tresses
away from Sirius’ face. “It’ll all be okay, you’ll see. Mum already sent the
letter to Dumbledore, he’ll probably arrive in the morning to sort it all out.
You know you’re welcome here, right? That if you want to stay here you can?”
“I don’t want to impose on your parents,” Sirius whispered.
“You’re not imposing. This is your home, if you want it to be.”
Sirius smiled and reached up to stroke Remus cheek. “You really are my sweet
wolf, you know that?”
Remus smiled and leaned in, kissing his bruised eyes and nose, his split lip,
and then pulling the blankets down and the pyjama top up so he could kiss his
ribs.
“What are you doing?” Sirius said.
“Kissing it better,” Remus said, returning to his gentle kissing. “Is it
helping?”
Sirius pulled him away to look him in the eye. “You know, I think it did.”
“Good,” Remus said as he tucked Sirius in.
There was a gentle knock at the door and Anne entered carrying a glass. “I’ve
sent the letter to Dumbledore, telling him what happened, that you’re here. I
want you to take this. It’s Dreamless Sleep. Just for tonight, I want you to
get some rest, forget about everything.”
Sirius sighed. “Did I really call my father a coward?”
“Apparently, if those shiners are anything to go by,” Anne said. “I’m sure you
can still grovel if you really want to go back.”
“No, I don’t want that,” Sirius said firmly. “I don’t want to go back. I’m just
trying to get it to sink in. I can’t quite make myself believe I actually did
it.”
“Believe it, wonder boy, you did it,” Remus said. “It’s just shock, it’ll wear
off and then it’ll sink in.”
Sirius smiled. “Okay, Mrs Lupin, hit me with your potion. I’m more than ready
to sink into blissful oblivion.”
“Call me Anne, dear,” she said as she handed him the glass. “You’re living here
now, you and I are past formalities.”
Sirius nodded and gulped down the potion. Anne took the glass and Sirius
grabbed Remus hand as he began to drift off.
“I love you, Remus,” he mumbled. “Love you more than anything. You’re my
everything.”
Sirius fell asleep before he heard Remus tell him how much he loved him.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Anne poked her head around the door to find Remus sitting on Sirius’ bed,
stroking his hair.
“Remus,” she called softly.
“Yes, mum?” Remus said without taking his eyes off his slumbering boyfriend.
“It’s time to get up, darling. Breakfast in ten minutes.”
“Okay, mum,” Remus said, standing up and grabbing a set of clean clothes before
making his way to the bathroom. Ten minutes later he made his way downstairs,
just in time for a knock at the door.
John opened it to reveal Professor Dumbledore, Andromeda Tonks, and Fabian and
Gideon Prewett. The twins grinned at Remus, both looking thoroughly impressed.
“Bloody hell, Remus. When Dumbledore told us what you really are, we were
shocked,” Fabian said.
“Yeah. I mean, all that time, and we never suspected a thing. We underestimated
your ability to lie,” Gideon finished.
Remus stared, open mouthed at them, before peering at Dumbledore. “You told
them?” he whispered.
“I did. I saw no reason for the boys not to know. I assure you, they will keep
your secret,” Dumbledore assured and Remus stared at the twins for a moment
before he nodded. He trusted them, and he would have told them years ago if he
could have.
Andromeda came forwards and hugged Remus. “Look at you, all grown up. You and
Sirius, shooting up like weeds. My goodness, Anne, what are you feeding him?”
she said with a smile.
“Oh, the usual. Miracle Grow,” Anne replied as she set a stack of toast on the
table. “Come and eat something. Remus, is Sirius awake yet?”
“No, not yet,” Remus said as he took a seat. “What are you all doing here?”
“Albus called us,” Andromeda said as she accepted a cup of tea. “He felt Sirius
needed some shoulders to cry on. How is he?”
“Battered.”
“So, Canis was pretty mad at him, huh?” Fabian said, or at least, Remus thought
it was Fabian. There were no badges now, so he couldn’t tell them apart.
“Could the two of you tell me which is which before we go any further?”
The twins smiled and Fabian conjured a badge with a lion on it, pinning it to
his chest. “Fabian has the badge,” Gideon said.
“Thank you. Yes, Canis was very mad at him. Like a broken nose, two black eyes,
a split lip and cracked ribs mad, not to mention the bruises all over the damn
place,” Remus said. “He’s pretty shaken. Canis practically disowned him.”
Andromeda shook her head. “No way, Canis would never do that. Too public. If he
disowns Sirius, it would be front page news. Canis wouldn’t do that, it would
bring so much shame on the family. At least one good thing came from the family
disowning me. Can’t have two of us disowned, what would society say?” she said.
“He won’t tell anyone what you are either. Once again, the shame of admitting
his son is dating a werewolf.”
“Gotta say this for Canis,” Gideon said between mouthfuls of scrambled eggs.
“He has his pride. At least Sirius has that working for him.”
“What about money? Would he really cut Sirius off?” Remus asked.
“Damn straight he would.”
They turned around to see Sirius standing at the bottom of the stairs.
“How did you do that? I didn’t even hear you come down,” Remus said.
Sirius shrugged. “I was really really quiet,” he joked. “What are you all doing
here?”
“We came to lend support,” Fabian said.
“Yes, we thought you could use the wealth of my expertise on being a terrible
heir,” Andromeda said, and then winced as Sirius moved into the light. “Merlin,
look at you. You’re practically a work of art.”
Sirius laughed and then clutched his ribs.
“Laughing still hurts?” Remus asked.
“Like a bitch,” Sirius said. He suddenly realised who he was standing in front
of. “Sorry.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it. You just gave up your life, say anything you like,”
John said.
Remus carefully hugged his boyfriend before leading him to the table and
sitting him down. “Didn’t I tell you we’d figure it all out this morning?”
Sirius smiled. “That you did,” Sirius agreed as he accepted some toast and a
cup of tea. “So, how am I going to live? How am I going to pay for school?
Where am I going to live?”
“Slow down, one at a time,” Gideon said.
“To begin with, you need not worry about school,” Albus said.
“But my tuition. I can’t pay for my last two years without my family’s money.”
“Me and Ted can cover it,” Andromeda offered and Albus smiled.
“No one needs to cover it,” said the old wizard. “Your tuition is already paid.
Canis paid the full seven years tuition up front. You are covered in that
respect. All you need do is finance your books, equipment and uniform. That,
and achieve good marks to gain employment after graduation, of course.”
“Well, Uncle Alphard said he put some money in a vault for me, but I don’t know
how much it is,” Sirius said.
“Okay, so we need to find out how much that is,” Andromeda said. “You know you
can count on us to help you out, where we can.”
“Thanks, Andie, but I can’t do that,” Sirius argued. “I can’t impose on you.”
“Will you stop thinking of yourself as a burden? We are not your parents, we
actually give a damn about you,” Remus said. “Like I said last night, you’re
welcome here, and Andie wants to help. So stop arguing and say thank you.”
Sirius smiled guiltily. “All right, thank you.”
“Right, now that the money issue is settled, what about where you’re going to
live?” Gideon said. “You can stay with me and Fab. We’re living with Molly. It
might be a tight squeeze. She’s got Charlie, Bill and Percy, and now she’s
expecting twins, but I’m sure we could find you room.”
“Or you could stay with me and Ted,” Andromeda said. “As long as you don’t mind
being woken early by a little one.”
“Or, you could just stay here,” Anne said. “It’s no trouble.”
“Are you sure?” Sirius asked. “I mean, I want to stay here with Remus, if I
can.”
Remus reached over and entwined their fingers, running his thumb over the back
of Sirius hand. “I’d love for you to stay here. Come on, I’m the reason you did
this. The least I can give you is a roof over your head.” Sirius smiled into
the sweet kiss Remus gave him. “You’ll stay here, if that’s what you want.”
“It is,” Sirius said. He turned to his cousins. “I love Remus. I won’t give him
up, I can’t. If it’s okay with his parents, I want to stay here with him. It’s
really nice of you to offer to put me up, but I think I’m set. That is, if Anne
and John don’t mind?”
“Of course we don’t,” John said. “You’ll have to pull your weight, mind. You’re
doing Muggle Studies, you can help out in the garage. And you’ll do your share
of the chores. If you’re living here, you’re a member of the family, and every
member contributes. I won’t have you lounging around all day, young man.”
“Of course not, I wouldn’t dream of it,” Sirius said. “Are you serious? I could
really help out in your garage? You’d teach me to fix cars?”
“Bet your life on it,” John said. “You can’t be any worse than Remus. Can’t fix
a car to save his life.”
Sirius grinned. “There’s something you can’t do,” he said smugly to his
boyfriend. “I’ve found something you can’t do.”
“I can’t take a stroll under the full moon,” Remus said. “And I can’t fly a
broomstick too well. And I can’t fix cars. I’ve ruined more car parts than I’ve
fixed. Maybe with you here, Uncle Joe will stop trying to teach me.”
“That’s all settled then. Young Mr Black will live here, his tuition is paid
up, and anything he cannot afford with the money his uncle has given him, Mrs
Tonks and Mr’s Prewett will cover,” Dumbledore said. “Is there anything else
I’ve missed?”
“Yes,” Anne said. “Sirius, I expect good marks out of you. Your schoolwork
better be up to standard or you can forget about those cars, young man. If you
don’t get good marks, you’ll be spending this summer buried in text books.”
Sirius was stunned. No one had really given a damn about his grades before.
Andromeda had made a token effort to show support, but it had never been like
this. Anne was talking like it really mattered to her what his schoolwork was
like.
“Yes, mum gives a damn,” Remus said at Sirius’ dumbfounded look. “Now you’re
living here, you’re under the same scrutiny as I am. I’m expected to get the
grades, so are you. Now, close your mouth, you’re catching flies.”
The whole table dissolved into peels of laughter and they all sat around
talking and joking. As Andromeda, Fabian, Gideon and Dumbledore left, Sirius
realised that he felt lighter than he had ever felt in his life.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Sirius was having a brilliant time. He couldn’t remember having more fun.
Remus and Sirius were walking down Diagon Alley, purchasing their things for
school. They had first visited Gringotts, where Sirius discovered that Alphard
had given him enough to see him through the next few years, until he had
established a career. Their O.W.L. results had come through with their
booklists, and both of them had achieved Outstanding’s across the board.
“I swear, if I end up with a hickey, I will never let you earn forgiveness,”
Remus said as Sirius pinned him to a wall and attacked his neck.
“Ah, but you say nothing about several hickeys,” Sirius said between kisses.
Remus laughed, and then moaned, threading his fingers through the blue-black
hair. “You found that spot again. Oh God, right there.”
Sirius took great delight in reducing Remus to a pile of mush. Remus’ parents
had gone off to have an ice cream, leaving the boys to amuse themselves.
“We’re meant to be buying ourselves something nice as a treat for our good
marks,” Remus protested half-heartedly.
“This is something nice. And look, it isn’t costing a single knut,” Sirius
argued, nibbling his throat.
Eventually, Sirius relented, and they walked off towards the shops. Anne had
given them five galleons each to buy whatever they liked. She had reasoned that
they would reward themselves better than she could. Sirius treated himself to
his very own owl, a tiny little brown one that could barely peak over his fist
and was highly excitable. The owl looked like a feathered snitch, and Sirius
adored him. Plus, he only cost Sirius two galleons, as he was so very tiny.
Remus doubted the minuscule ball of feathers could carry a letter, but Sirius’
smile was enough to satisfy him. Remus treated himself to a lunascope, which
predicted the phases of the moon and would save him the trouble of calculating
the next full moon. It glowed three days before the first day of Remus’ monthly
change, and would save unnecessary confusion. Once they had purchased their
treats, they went off to find Remus’ parents.
“What are you going to call him?” John asked, peering at the happily hooting
owl in his tiny cage.
“Don’t know yet. Remus, why is your owl called MJ?”
“Merlin Junior,” Remus said simply, pushing owl treats through the bars of the
cage. “Mum’s owl was called Merlin. When mum got me MJ, I couldn’t think of any
better name for him.”
The two boys were just tucking in to their ice creams when a voice made Sirius
freeze.
“Hello, son.”
Sirius looked up into the blue eyes of his father and reached out to grab
Remus’ hand under the table. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Anne take
hold of her wand.
“Father. Is there something I can help you with?” Sirius said.
“Yes, I…well, I wanted to…ummm…I thought we could have a talk,” Canis said,
stumbling over his words.
“Does it involve your fists, arranged marriages, the Dark Mark, Voldemort, or
coming home?”
Canis smiled. “No.” He held out his hand to Anne. “Very nice to meet you, I’m
Canis Black, Sirius’ father.”
Anne didn’t even pause as she took it. “Hello, Mr Black, I’m Anne Lupin, Remus’
mother. This is my husband, John, and this is our Remus,” she said, pointing to
each of them. To give the Muggle hating Pureblood credit, Canis reached out and
shook John’s hand, and then Remus’. “Would you like to join us?”
“My apologies, but I have to be getting on, lots to buy for Regulus, Sirius’
brother,” Canis said. “I was hoping for a quick word with my son…in private?”
Sirius sighed and made to stand up, but Remus tightened his grip. “It’s okay,
honey, really. I’ll only be over there. Anything goes wrong, you can come to my
rescue,” Sirius soothed, and he kissed Remus once he gave a reluctant nod.
Canis and Sirius stood in the shadow of an alleyway and Sirius ensured they
could be seen clearly by Remus. It wouldn’t do for his boyfriend to come
hunting his father because he lost sight of him.
“What do you want to talk about?” Sirius said.
“I wanted to say…I’m sorry,” Canis said. “I overreacted. I shouldn’t have lost
my temper.”
“Whatever, it’s not the first time. It’s fine, really. Anne healed the broken
nose and cracked ribs. We had to leave the bruising, Remus’ muggle uncles saw
me arrive, we had to leave it.”
Canis nodded. He appeared to be having trouble finding the right words.
“Listen, what I said about money, I didn’t mean it. Of course I’m not going to
cut you off. And as for this marriage and your marking, maybe we did rush
things a little. After all, you are still in school. So, how about this? We
forget all this nonsense until you graduate, and then we sit down and talk
about it again, when you’ve finished school? How about that?”
“I won’t change my mind,” Sirius said. “I love Remus, that’s not going to
change.”
“I know you think that-”
“Stop,” Sirius interrupted. “I don’t want to get into this again, not with
everyone watching.”
“Of course, of course. Is there anything you need? Money?”
“No, I’m fine, I have everything I need. Anne and John are taking good care of
me. John owns a garage, he’s letting me help out fixing the cars.”
“That’s…nice.”
“Yeah, it’s a reward for my good marks.”
“Good marks? So you got your O.W.L. results then?”
“Yes. Twelve Outstanding’s. As a reward from John, I get to help fix cars, and
Anne got me an owl.”
Canis nodded. “And…ummm…how did Remus do?”
Sirius suppressed his smile. His father really was trying to make the effort.
“Twelve Outstanding’s. He got a lunascope and freedom from fixing cars. He’s
terrible at it, keeps ruining car parts. His Uncle Joe is overjoyed Remus won’t
be blowing up any more carburettors. That’s a part of an internal combustion
engine. It’s a device in an internal combustion engine that mixes liquid fuel
and air in the correct proportions, vaporizes them, and transfers the mixture
to the cylinders.”
“I’m impressed,” Canis said, laughing. “How do you remember all that?”
“I’m very dedicated to my lessons,” Sirius said, blushing. “It helps with my
Muggle Studies.”
Canis nodded and reached out to touch Sirius’ shoulder. Sirius flinched
backwards, his back hitting the cold stone of the wall behind him. Canis pulled
his hand back.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“It’s fine, forget it. Listen, I should be getting back. Me and Remus still
need to get our books, and then we need to get back. We’re going to Uncle Jim’s
for dinner.”
“Uncle Jim?”
“Remus’ Uncle Jim. He’s cooking dinner to celebrate our good results,” Sirius
explained and then rubbed the back of his neck. “Remus’ family is really proud
of us. What with his condition, they all thought he’d be dead by now. None of
them thought he was going to live to take exams, and since I’m living with them
now, they expect me to get good marks too.”
“I understand. Well, you should get back then.”
“Father, about Remus’ condition. Did you mean it when you said you wouldn’t
tell anyone?”
“I meant it. I will allow this fooling around, for now. And I will not be
telling anyone of his…condition. It would not be accepted by society. This will
remain a secret.”
“Good. Thank you. Well, then, I should get going.”
Canis nodded and walked him back to the table, where Regulus was standing
awkwardly beside Anne. Sirius retook his seat, and gripped Remus’ hand once
more as his father began to talk with Remus’ parents.
“Is there anything you need for the boy? Money perhaps? I know how expensive
teenage boys can be,” Canis offered.
“No, no, it’s all right, money is no problem. Actually, we rather enjoy having
Sirius around,” John said. “He’s quite the help around the house and in the
garage. He’s no trouble, really.”
“That’s good to hear. Well, I should be getting on. Good day,” Canis said and
waved before he began to walk away. He paused and turned his attentions on
Sirius again. “If you ever want to come home, the door is open.”
And with that, he swept away, Regulus trailing after him.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Remus asked, stroking Sirius’ cheek.
“I’m fine. In fact, it’s all good news. No more talk of arranged marriages or
Dark Marks until after I graduate, he hasn’t cut me off so I still have the
family money, and he’s not going to tell anyone about you.”
“Well, that’s very good news,” John said. “Now you won’t have to worry about
how you’re going to pay for things, and we can rest easy knowing Remus can
finish his schooling.”
“And, you are all mine until graduation. Two whole years,” Remus said. “I’m
sure we can think of something by then. Hey, look what Regulus slipped me when
your father wasn’t looking.”
“The tongue? Because if her did, I’ll have to rip his out,” Sirius joked,
making Remus shove his shoulder and pass him a picture.
Sirius dissolved into side splitting laughter. It was a picture of his mother,
blasting his name off of the family tree. The tapestry had been in his family
since the Middle Ages. If he ever went home, which he didn’t plan on doing, it
could be repaired, his name put back on it. But, at this point, Sirius
considered it the highest honour to be removed from it.
“You know, I think I really love my mother.”
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
“You threw it up?”
It was the first week of their sixth year and Remus and Sirius were sitting
down by the lake with Severus, discussing the last dose of Wolfsbane Remus had
taken. Both Sirius and Severus had agreed to be on their best behaviour. Sirius
wouldn’t have come, but he refused to leave Remus alone with Severus, convinced
that Severus was going to try and poison him.
It had been a very nice summer, really. Lily, James and Peter had come to stay
for the last two weeks and the five of them had spent most of their time in the
garage, Joe loving having three teenage boys all wanting to fix something. Lily
and Remus had sat on the sidelines, watching amusedly as the three Purebloods
got oil over their clothes and caught their fingers on car parts.
“Yes, I threw it up,” Remus confirmed.
“When did you ingest it?” Severus asked, thumbing through his notes.
“At lunch,” Remus said.
“He took it between his stew and his apple pie,” Sirius supplied. “Washed it
down with pumpkin juice.”
Severus nodded and read over the instructions he had used to make the last
dose, making notes. “Might have been the foxglove, maybe I put too much in. Or
maybe the daisy?” Severus muttered.
“Can I ask you something?” Sirius said.
“You just did, but, by all means, ask away,” Severus said, not taking his eyes
off the page.
“How does this potion allow you to become a Potions Master anyway?”
Severus looked up. “To become a Potions Master, I must demonstrate the
intelligence to create a potion of my own, one previously undiscovered.”
“That’s it?”
“No, there is more. I must achieve Outstanding Potions, Herbology,
Transfiguration, Charms, History of Magic and Defence Against The Dark Arts
N.E.W.T.’s, demonstrate the ability to create thirty potions unassisted from
scratch, and demonstrate the creation of my signature potion. In addition, I
must submit written application for the position, and a fourty foot parchment
essay on the uses, importance and requirements of potions.”
Sirius stared open mouthed. “Why the hell are you bothering?”
“Because it’s what I want to do,” Severus said simply. “Isn’t there something
you want to do?”
Sirius didn’t have an answer. He hadn’t given much thought to a career past
making money to support himself. Was there anything he wanted that badly? Well,
yes, there had been the desire not to get married to Morganna Evernight, to be
with Remus, but he had that already, didn’t he? As for his career, no, there
wasn’t something he wanted as badly as Severus wanted this.
“Not career wise,” Sirius said.
“Isn’t there something you want more than anything else? Something you’d give
up everything for?”
Remus smiled. “He already has.”
“So you understand what it feels like to need something more than anything,”
Severus said triumphantly before turning back to Remus. “How long between
taking the potion and throwing it up?”
“About two hours, maybe three,” Remus said.
“Did you come into contact with any unusual substances?”
“I don’t think so.”
“We had Herbology after lunch,” Sirius said. “You touched the Mandrakes, and
the Devil’s Snare. Could those have caused this?”
“They might have,” Severus said. “Any other plants you came into contact with?
What were you working with?”
“Snargaluff,” Remus said. “But I didn’t touch it. I was wearing gloves. I did
brush by the Venomous Tentacula.”
Severus smiled. “I think that’s it. Dandelion and Tentacula create a nasty
reaction. Never the less, I’m still going to recheck all the measurements. I
think I’ve got all I need,” he said, packing up his things and standing. “I’ll
bring you the next dose when it’s ready. Good day.”
And with that, he left. Sirius had just gotten comfortable, nibbling at Remus’
neck, when a call of his name had him groaning.
“What do you want, Reg?” Sirius asked, lighting up a cigarette.
“You promised,” Regulus said, sitting down. “You said you’d help me become the
Stud.”
Sirius sighed. “You’re right, I did. Ah…right, give me a minute to think. I was
busy, you know.”
Regulus looked at Remus’ neck, which was sporting a rather large hickey, and
grinned. “I can see that,” he said.
“Shut it, you little maggot, or the deal’s off,” Sirius snapped as Remus
blushed. Regulus fell silent and Sirius tried to think up what to tell him.
Sirius had never intended to be the Hogwarts Stud, it had just happened. He
wasn’t quite sure what to tell him, but he had promised. If there was nothing
else Sirius did, he always kept his promises.
“Right. Being the Hogwarts Stud is more about illusion than anything else,”
Sirius said. Regulus was staring so intently at him that Sirius was convinced
his eyes would pop out any moment. “It’s all about projecting to people that
you’ve been shagged, or been shagging, whether you have or haven’t is
irrelevant.”
“So, how many people have you shagged?” Regulus asked and Remus laughed.
“Come on! Not even I know that one, and there isn’t a lot I don’t know about
Sirius,” Remus said. “It’s part of the reputation. See, people who have been
shagged by the Stud want to brag about it, and those who haven’t don’t want to
admit they haven’t been shagged by him, so no one but the Stud actually knows
how many he’s shagged, and he never reveals it to anyone.”
“Is the Stud always a guy?”
“Always,” Sirius said. “Me and Remus looked it up. It goes back to when the
school was founded. There is always a Stud and a Slut. The difference between
the two is what the actual boy says. They are both always boys, and the Stud
has always been a Gryffindor. The Slut…well, that’s between Slytherin and
Ravenclaw, but Slytherin have usually had the Slut.”
“Like the way Zabini has become the Slut since Lucius left?”
“Exactly. Now that I’m with Remus, the title of Stud is there for the taking.
The way it works now is that the former Stud, having settled down, then hand
picks his replacement. In this case, that’s me and you,” Sirius said. “Being
the Stud is all about image. So, stand up.”
Regulus looked sceptical for a moment, before he did as he was told. He was
just turning on the spot when James, Peter and Lily joined them.
“You all finished discussing Potions assignments with Snivellus?” James asked
as he sat down next to Sirius. “What have we walked in on?”
“Turning Reg into the next Stud, and yes, we’ve finished,” Remus said.
“Evans, what am I missing?” Sirius said. “Come on, you told me I looked hot
more than any other girl. What do I have that Reg doesn’t?”
Lily hoisted herself back to her feet and circled Regulus. “Hold still,” she
commanded, and then pulled off Regulus’ robes as he complied. She loosened his
tie, unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt, pulled it out of his
trousers and ruffled his hair. “I think that’s better, don’t you agree?”
Remus grinned. “Getting close. But it’s not just about the look,” he said as
Regulus sat down. “I mean, you’re almost as tall as Sirius, but you’re skinny,
Seekers build. You’ve got the just shagged hair right, and the laid back shirt
thing, but it’s more than that.”
“Exactly,” James said. “The Stud has this aura about him, this kind of ‘I don’t
care what you say, you’re lucky to have me’ kind of thing. And it’s all about
rumour.”
“You’ve lost me,” Regulus said.
“Well, first off, the Stud’s reputation is built on rumour. When Sirius was
Stud, rumours were flying left, right and centre about who he had and hadn’t
shagged. Sirius neither denied nor confirmed any of them. He merely shrugged
with this little smile thing, as if to say ‘I don’t know what you’re talking
about’,” Peter said. “None of us could get him to tell us which of the rumours
were true, so we found it best to believe most of them.”
“Okay, I think I’ve got that.”
“Then, there’s the image,” Lily said. “You’ve got to give off this air about
you. It’s kind of…projecting that you’re the best shag in the school, and who
cares what they think, they’re lucky to have you.”
“So, how do I do that?”
“You strut,” James said.
“I did not strut,” Sirius said.
“Yes, you did,” Remus said. “It was as if you were proud of something, but you
were the only one in on what you were proud of.”
“I think I’ve got it,” Regulus said. “So, how do I proclaim myself the Stud?”
“You don’t,” Sirius said. “Evans does.”
“You what?”
“Answer me this, are you gay, straight or bi?”
“Straight.”
“So, you need a girl to start the rumours. For me, it was Melissa Edgecombe. I
didn’t actually shag her, I was only eleven at the time, but she started the
rumours. You need a girl to start the rumours. Leave it to Evans, she’ll get
one of her friends to start it off. All you need to do is act the part until
girls start throwing themselves at you, and then go with the flow. Just
remember, you never confirm or deny any rumour, you never get stressed out in
public, you never brag about who you may or may not have had, and whatever you
do, don’t ever get wrapped up in one person. You do that and your crown is
gone. Believe me, I speak from experience,” Sirius said, smiling at Remus.
“That’s it? That’s all there is to it?”
They all grinned at his incredulity. “Yup,” Sirius said. “That’s all there is
to it. Now that I’ve given you what I promised, will you go away?”
Regulus nodded. He stood up and began walking away, but stopped and looked at
them once more. “Oh, just so you know, I overheard father yelling about you and
Remus. I heard him yelling about what Remus is,” Regulus said. “Thought you’d
want to know.”
Sirius was on his feet in an instant, moving close to his brother and slinging
an arm around his shoulders. “You can’t say anything, Reg,” he hissed. “Please,
you have to keep it to yourself.”
“No fear,” Regulus said. “As if I want anyone worth knowing hearing about my
brother and his wolfish lover. Please, grant me with a little taste, would
you?”
Sirius laughed in spite of himself. “Good point. So, you’ll keep your mouth
shut?”
“About what?” Regulus said with a wink. “Consider it a thank you for letting me
have mother and father all to myself. See you around, brother.”
Regulus walked off and Sirius watched him go. He had always assumed his brother
to be a brainless little twit, but now he was seeing a different side to him.
And then it hit him. Regulus had planned this all along. Regulus had known
Sirius would crack one day, he knew Sirius would do something truly heinous in
their family’s eyes and be shoved out. Regulus had just bided his time until it
happened. All the grief he had given Sirius over the years, it was just a smoke
screen to cover up his true intentions.
“Sneaky little sod,” Sirius said as he sat down. “Relax, honey, he’ll keep his
mouth shut. After all, he doesn’t want his precious little friends finding out
his brother has brought the shame of a werewolf lover on the family.”
“Good to know,” Remus said, the colour slowly returning to his face.
“So, does Snivellus know what went wrong with the potion?” James asked.
“He thinks it’s something I touched in Herbology reacting with one of the
ingredients,” Remus said. “Either way, he’s gone off to recheck his numbers.”
“Are you sure he’s not going to poison you?” Peter said.
“Positive. Sirius promised to hunt him down if he does.”
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
“Hey Pads, you coming?”
Sirius looked up from his Quidditch magazine to see James standing over him,
Peter by his side.
He didn’t need to ask what his best friend was referring to. The Christmas
Hogsmeade trip. Professor Dumbledore laid it on every year for those students
who stayed for the Christmas holidays. It was the students choice on whether or
not to go. Sirius had gone almost every year since he had arrived at Hogwarts.
There would be sleigh rides, and lunch in the Three Broomsticks. There was a
snowman building competition, snowball fights, carolling, hot chocolate and
mince pies. It was fun, but Sirius could think of something much more enjoyable
to occupy the day.
“Nah, I’m gonna stay here with Moony,” Sirius said.
James sighed dramatically at him. “Abandoning your friends for your boyfriend.
Why, Pads, I never thought you’d be that kind of guy. But, hey, if that’s how
it is…”
Sirius growled and threw a cushion at him. It missed and hit Lily square in the
face. She blinked in surprise before she fixed her bright green eyes on Sirius.
“And what did I do to deserve that, Black?” she asked, James sniggering.
“Nothing, Evans, honestly. I wasn’t aiming for you, I was aiming for Prongs.”
She smiled. “Oh. Then I fully appreciate the thrown cushion. What did the toe
rag do to deserve missiles aimed at his head?”
“Hey!” James said in protest. “I didn’t do anything!”
“A likely story, Potter. Peter, what did he do?” she questioned the short,
plump, blonde boy.
Peter cast a wary glance at his two friends before he answered. “It was
nothing, really,” he mumbled.
“He was teasing me,” Sirius put in. Sometimes, Peter really was too timid for
his own good. They could only hope he would grow out of it.
“I see,” the redheaded witch said and grabbed the boy wearing glasses by the
ear. “What were you teasing him about?”
James grimaced and tried to free his ear, which only made her grip tighten.
Sometimes, Sirius really loved Lily Evans. She was a wonderful girl.
“He was teasing me about staying behind with Moony,” Sirius said, earning a
glare from the struggling Pureblood, which Sirius stuck his tongue out at.
“You git! You have such a big mouth, you tattle tale!” James said as Lily began
to drag him to the door. “Get off me, Evans!”
“No. Shan’t.” She looked over her shoulder at Sirius. “Ignore him. Just because
he’s single he wants to bring everyone along with him. You have fun with Remus.
We’ll see you at the feast.”
Sirius smiled at her and watched as they disappeared out the portrait hole. And
then Gryffindor Tower was blessedly empty. There were only a handful of
students staying for Christmas this year, almost all had opted to go home. The
Marauders had all chosen to stay, as had Lily Evans and Walden Macnair of
Slytherin. That was it. Even Snape had gone home, though that was a good thing
in Sirius’ opinion. The only teachers remaining were Professors Dumbledore,
McGonagall and Slughorn. Six students and three teachers. Even Hagrid had gone
away with some of his weird friends, and Filch had gone to visit a sister.
Dumbledore had ordered the house elves to deliver trays to each of the students
for their meals instead of going to the trouble of setting up the Great Hall.
The only exception was Christmas day, where there was the customary Christmas
dinner, and tonight, where there was going to be a feast for the first day of
the holidays.
He was snapped out of his thoughts as a pair of arms wrapped around his
shoulders from behind.
“Not going to build a snowman?” came the teasing question.
“Not in the mood,” Sirius replied, pretending to return to his magazine.
“No hot chocolate?” the voice murmured in his ear. Sirius could feel the tickle
of the hot breath on his neck.
“Too much sugar, it’ll rot my teeth,” the Pureblood said, fighting his smile.
“No sleigh rides?” The voice had moved to his other ear now, slender fingers
tucking a lock of shaggy blue black hair behind Sirius’ ear.
“Not a fan of horses. Much prefer unicorns,” Sirius said lightly.
“You only like the rash they give you that gets you out of Potions. Just out of
interest, why did you throw the cushion at Evans?”
Sirius lost his battle with his smile at this, letting out a guilty laugh. “It
wasn’t aimed at her,” he defended, reaching up to stroke the warm hand fiddling
with his collar. “It was aimed at Prongs.”
“Awww, has the nasty Prongs been mean to my Padfoot again?”
The arms disappeared and Sirius was joined in his armchair by one Remus John
Lupin, teenage werewolf, owner of two beautiful amber eyes, wonderful at
Defence Against the Dark Arts, and boyfriend of Sirius Orion Black. Remus slid
into Sirius’ lap and granted him a sweet kiss.
“Very mean. He was teasing me again,” Sirius said, pouting.
“I heard. Poor Padfoot,” Remus said, stroking his cheek.
“Have you sent the letter to your parents wishing them a Merry Christmas from
both of us?”
“Sent it an hour ago. You were too interested in your magazine to notice me
coming back in,” the amber eyed boy said, plucking the magazine from the fine
boned hand and tossing it onto the coffee table.
“Very true, honey. There’s a new broomstick coming out.”
“Really?”
“Yup. It’s called a Cleansweep Eight. They claim it’s the fastest yet. I’m
thinking of buying one.”
Remus smirked at him. “You keep spending your family’s money like this and
they’ll disinherit you. I’m surprised they haven’t already.”
“Ah, but my dear old father is still hoping I’ll see the error of my ways,
marry a nice inbred Pureblooded wench and give him three headed heirs for the
Noble and Most Ancient House of Black,” Sirius said sarcastically with his hand
on his heart but Remus wasn’t fooled by the brave front.
Sirius felt betrayed by his family so easily brushing him aside. He had never
gone in for all the Pureblood nonsense and Death Eater rubbish his family
spouted, and that had made him the least favourite son. His mother had always
treated him like something she’d stepped in, but his father still had his
misguided hopes. Every few days he would send Regulus a letter, telling him to
try, yet again, to persuade Sirius to come around to the ‘proper way of
thinking’. Yeah, like that was ever likely to happen.
“Fuck your father. He’s blind if he can’t see how wonderful you are,” Remus
said firmly, cupping Sirius’ cheek and catching his bright blue eyes. “If they
can’t accept you, to hell with them all.”
“I know, I know. You’re right, you’re always right about them,” Sirius agreed,
stroking Remus’ back. “I should look on the bright side. At least Reg’s gone
home for Christmas. No bloody chats trying to get me to come home until
January. Though I think he’s getting sick of trying.”
“Exactly. Now, by my reckoning, no one will be back for…oh, about eight hours.”
“Very reasonable deduction, Moony. If it’s ten am now, and they won’t be back
until six pm, that does give us eight wonderfully uninterrupted hours
together,” Sirius agreed, smiling.
“So…what do you say to trying out that theory of yours?”
“Which theory?”
“The one where you said Exploding Snap wouldn’t set bedcovers on fire,” Remus
said, getting to his feet and holding out his hand for his boyfriend. Sirius
took it and let Remus lead him up to the dorm, where they quickly discovered
that Sirius was right, it didn’t set the bedclothes alight.
“Told you!” Sirius exclaimed triumphantly.
“Ah, for once you were right. We should call the Daily Prophet, it’ll be front
page news,” Remus teased, earning a pillow around the ribs. “Oi!”
They launched into a furious pillow fight, which ended with James’ pillow, the
one Remus had been swinging, exploding over them both, covering them in fluffy
white feathers. They stood there in the middle of the dorm room, both trying
not to laugh.
“Prongs is so going to kill you,” Sirius said.
“We can fix it with a spell,” Remus said.
Sirius pulled out his wand and repaired the pillow, the feathers zooming back
into the case. Remus chucked it onto James’ bed and grabbed Sirius’ hand,
pulling him to the window, showing him what he had seen.
Fresh fluffy snow to add to the metre of it that fell last night.
Sirius stood behind Remus, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his
chin on his shoulder as they watched the downy white flakes drift down.
“They’re all going to freeze,” Remus said. “None of them remembered gloves.”
“How smart were we to stay behind?” Sirius said, kissing his neck.
“Very smart,” Remus agreed, turning around to capture his boyfriends lips,
slowly pushing him back towards his bed. He pushed the Pureblood back onto the
mattress and climbed into his lap, kissing him once more as he straddled him,
sweeping off the Exploding Snap cards to scatter across the floor.
Sirius reached out and found the hem of a jumper. Remus raised his arms and the
red wool came off, t-shirt going with it. Sirius’ shirt was unbuttoned by quick
fingers, left to flutter to the floor. Then came belts, and trousers, soon
followed by shoes and socks and boxers.
Remus kissed Sirius as the slightly taller boy lay back, his fingers tangled in
Remus’ wavy brown hair.
“Remus,” Sirius breathed between kisses. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Remus said, sitting up and trailing his fingers along Sirius’
torso, making him wriggle. “What do you want?”
Sirius smiled shyly. “Well, I kind of liked that thing we did,” he admitted,
making Remus laugh.
“You’re going to have to be a bit more specific, Pads, we’ve done a lot of
things you liked.”
Sirius rolled his eyes and laughed. “I was talking about the one where we both
sucked each other off at the same time.”
Remus smiled and climbed off his boyfriend, arranging them so they were lying
on their sides, propped up on an elbow, smiling at each other. “You mean this
one?” Remus asked innocently, before he bent his head and licked the tip of
Sirius’ cock.
Sirius sighed. “Yes.”
“Then get to it.”
Sirius sniggered before he shifted closer, moaning as Remus’ wet heat
surrounded him. Merlin, Moony definitely knew how to please him. Sirius swirled
his tongue around the tip of his lovers member and clutched at Remus’ hip as
the werewolf moaned around him. Remus chuckled and Sirius glared down at him.
He decided to seek revenge by taking in Remus whole, swallowing around him,
which made Remus throw back his head and cry out. Sirius chuckled and Remus
called out his name.
It didn’t take long for the two of them to reach the point of no return, but
just before they got there, Remus pulled away. Sirius pulled away from his
mouthful and looked down.
“You okay?” he asked.
Remus didn’t answer and Sirius became very nervous. ‘Oh Merlin,’ Sirius
thought. ‘This is it, the moment he realizes he’s made a mistake. This is where
he leaves me.’
He was close to tears by the time Remus actually moved, and when he did move he
caught Sirius by surprise. Before the illegal Animagus knew what was happening,
he was flat on his back, his hands pinned above his head, one of Remus’ thighs
between his own.
“Bored of sucking me off?” Sirius asked as he remembered how to breathe
properly again. Remus wasn’t dumping him, he was just in the mood for something
else.
“No…I just thought of what I want,” Remus said.
“Oh? And what would that be?”
Remus let go of one of his wrists and slid his hand down until he was cupping
Sirius’ backside, letting one of his fingers slip between the cheeks to tickle
his opening. “I want you. I want…Sirius…I…well…if it’s all right…”
Sirius could barely breathe. Remus hardly ever touched him there, it was
something he reserved for moments when he wanted Sirius to dissolve. “Just tell
me, Remus. Just tell me what you want.”
Remus leaned forwards, kissing his neck before whispering in his ear, “I want
to be inside you. Can I take you, Siri?”
Sirius froze. That was a new request. They had never gone that far. Hell, he
had never gone that far, no matter what the gossips said. He knew Remus had
never done it before either, but that was different. Remus was sweet, waiting
for the right one. Not once had it occurred to him that he might be the right
one. Sirius considered the idea, and only had to think for about three seconds
to make up his mind that he really wanted Remus inside him.
Remus began to climb off of him, flushed red with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I
shouldn’t have asked, it was stupid…I’ll just-”
What Remus was ‘just’ was cut off by Sirius crashing their mouths together. “I
want you to…to take me. I want you to have me…all of me,” Sirius said firmly.
He hesitated. “It’s just…well…the thing is…”
“What?”
It was now or never, make or break, the moment of truth…
“We don’t have any protection,” Sirius said, mentally berating himself as Remus
smiled.
“Don’t worry, I know how to perform the Charm.”
“How do you know that?”
Remus sniggered. “Mum and her famous chats.”
Sirius blushed and sniggered as Remus climbed off him, searching for his wand
amongst their discarded clothes. Sirius’ mind was in turmoil. He should tell
him, he fully intended to, but he just couldn’t get the words out. Why, he had
no idea whatsoever, but he knew he just couldn’t tell his sweet Remus he was as
much of a virgin as he was.
“Found it,” Remus said triumphantly, climbing back onto the bed. “Though how it
ended up in your shirtsleeve, I have no idea.” He leaned in and kissed the
raven haired boy, feeling some hesitation from him. He pulled back. “You do
want to do this, don’t you? I mean, if you don’t, it’s okay, I understand. We
don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“No, Remus, honestly. I want to do this. It’s just…it’s our first time,” Sirius
said. He wasn’t lying, not really. And it made Remus smile in understanding.
Remus kissed him and then pointed his wand at the pale chest. “Agenes gerere,”
he said and Sirius laughed as the Charm made him glow blue briefly. Remus
smiled and reached into his bedside cabinet, pulling out a brand new tube of
lube, still in its packaging. He settled himself on his knees between Sirius’
pale thighs, stroking the delicate skin, honing in on his goal as he suckled
Sirius’ nipples, nibbled at his throat. Sirius’ breath hitched as his hand
brushed his cock.
Sirius was shocked to find he wasn’t nervous, not in the slightest. There was
no worry of it hurting, no fear of Remus moving too fast, of it not being good.
Nothing. Just the way Remus touched him, the way Sirius felt. He felt loved,
and cherished. Suddenly, all thoughts of his family, James, duties as an heir,
Peter, school, everything was pushed from his head. All that was left was
Remus.
He shivered as Remus stroked his inner thighs, slowly, his touch light. That
clever tongue was teasing at his chest, soothing hard sucks on his throat. He
gasped as one of his hands brushed his cock. He was hard, standing proudly, and
that same hand wrapped around the needy flesh, stroking lazily. The other
slipped lower, stroking his entrance, the touch so light, so hesitant.
“Yes,” Sirius whispered and both hands disappeared. He opened his eyes to see
Remus fumbling with the clear plastic wrapper on the tube, the box long gone.
Sirius sat up and took the tube from him, pulling off the binding. Remus’ hands
were shaking and Sirius smiled at him, kissing him softly.
“Sorry, I’m nervous. I don’t want to hurt you,” Remus admitted.
“You won’t. Answer me this, where did you find out how gay men have sex?”
Remus flushed the brightest red Sirius had ever seen on a living person before.
“Dad got me a book,” the werewolf mumbled. “He didn’t want me to hate my first
time. He wanted me to know what I was doing.”
Sirius managed to suppress his laugh. John really did love his son. Buying a
sex manual for your gay teenage son was above and beyond the call of parental
duty, in Sirius’ opinion, but hey, he wasn’t a parent and his parents sucked at
the job so what did he know? Maybe all good loving parents did these kinds of
things for their children.
“And when has your dad ever steered you wrong?” Sirius asked, glossing over the
fact that Remus’ father being the current topic of conversation was weird. They
were naked, hard and about to shag like bunnies, for Merlin’s sake. Actually,
scrap the bunnies, they were going to hump like wolves, but that was neither
here nor there.
“Never.”
“And what does the book say?”
“It says to go slow, to use a lot of lube and to communicate,” Remus reeled
off, ducking his head in embarrassment.
Sirius cupped his cheek and forced him to look at him. “Then I think you’ve got
nothing to be nervous about,” he said before swooping in for a sweet kiss. “I
trust you. You won’t hurt me, I know it. I know you,” he whispered. “You won’t
hurt me.”
Sirius himself only knew what he was doing because he had ‘borrowed’ James’
invisibility cloak and spent a night in the library, reading everything he
could find on gay sex. Thank Merlin for the Health Studies section. Those books
could be so informative, and they had moving pictures. So very helpful.
Remus smiled at him and Sirius opened the tube, squeezing some into Remus’
hand. The boy giggled at how cold it was and Sirius smiled, lying back. “Just
follow what you read,” Sirius advised and smiled as Remus nodded, flexing his
fist to warm the lube and coat his fingers with it.
Sirius smiled as Remus crawled onto him, a thigh in between Sirius’ own again,
kissing him as his slim slick finger circled his entrance. Sirius moaned as it
slipped inside. It felt so good, so right. After a moment, it began to move,
slowly sliding in and out, each time penetrating him a little deeper. Sirius
buried his head in Remus’ neck, wrapping his arms around him.
“More. Please, Remus, more.”
A second finger slipped in, bringing with it a feeling of being slightly
stretched. It was odd, Sirius decided, but not unpleasant. He shifted his hips
and the sliding began again, slowly stretching him as Remus kissed his neck.
After a while, it just wasn’t enough.
“More,” Sirius breathed before he kissed Remus. They stayed lip locked as a
third finger was gently worked into him. This one was a little uncomfortable,
but it wasn’t all that bad really. It didn’t hurt, it was just new. He could
feel Remus’ thick erection against his thigh and shivered when he imagined that
hard length in place of the fingers. He threw his head back and half screamed
as the fingers brushed something inside that was incredible. The pure pleasure
was like nothing else he had ever felt.
“Are you all right?” Remus asked, worried. His fingers were still and Sirius
could feel them beginning to slip from him. He reached down and grabbed Remus’
wrist, holding him in place as he locked his blue eyes with Remus’ amber ones.
“Don’t stop. It didn’t hurt, it felt good. Please, Remus. Don’t stop,” he
reassured and the lycanthrope smiled, touching it again. Sirius gasped, moving
his hips in time to Remus’ hand. He glanced down at Remus’ wide erection. “One
more, add one more.”
The final finger was worked into him, and then Remus began to spread them,
stretching his lover. Sirius found he even enjoyed the slight burn that came
with it. It was Remus doing it to him, and Remus would never hurt him. Before
too long, it just wasn’t enough, he needed more. He could feel it, a longing, a
need growing somewhere deep in his soul. He couldn’t explain it, this pull to
do this. He had never felt anything like it before, not once in his whole life.
Well, there was the first time Remus had kissed him, but that wasn’t this
intense. He needed this, needed Remus, all of Remus or he might…he didn’t know.
Die maybe, or explode, something major at any rate.
“Remus…I need…you…now…please,” Sirius begged between hot intense kisses and the
fingers were removed, Sirius mourning the loss of them. Sirius watched as Remus
sat up on his knees again, their eyes still locked as Remus squeezed out more
lube, more than Sirius thought was really necessary, but hey, Remus was the one
with the instructions here, Sirius was winging it, so who was he to pass
judgement or offer his opinion on lube distribution? He bit his lip as Remus
coated himself with the lube and then wandlessly summoned Sirius’ damp towel
from the bathroom to wipe his hands on.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Remus asked as he climbed on top of him,
settling down, cradled by Sirius’ thighs, his weight on his forearms either
side of Sirius’ ribs. “It’s not too late for you to change your mind. If you’re
not sure, we can still stop, you know.”
The Pureblood smiled. It felt so right to have Remus on top of him, about to
make love to him. He had been wrong earlier. They weren’t about to shag like
bunnies or hump like wolves. It wasn’t just sex, and it wasn’t fucking or
shagging or anything else. It was making love, no other name for it.
“I’m sure. I want this, I want you. Please, Remus. Take me,” he whispered and
was bestowed a huge smile and a sweet kiss before Remus tugged the rumpled
blankets over their lower bodies. Sirius reached up and toyed with the sandy
brown hair as Remus reached down, as he felt the nudge of something larger and
more solid than the fingers between his legs. He brought his knees up higher,
spread his legs a little more, opening himself further to make it easier. He
remembered that much from the books. And he would have tried to force himself
to relax like the books said, if he hadn’t already been that way. Remus’
enormous erection slowly breached him, the werewolf making gentle tentative
thrusts into him until he was buried to the hilt, and then he lay still,
kissing him, caressing him.
Sirius couldn’t decide if he liked it or not, all he knew was it felt right. He
was stretched wide around his lovers beautiful hardness, and felt very full,
but it didn’t feel good like the fingers. It didn’t hurt either, which was
good, in Sirius’ opinion. The books had said the first time hurt, but this
didn’t. Considering how big Remus was, and the gods had been more than generous
when Remus was allotted endowments, Sirius had felt for sure it would hurt, or,
at the least, be uncomfortable, but it didn’t and it wasn’t. It was just…kind
of…there. Maybe it would feel good once Remus moved again. He wriggled his hips
and it must have been some kind of sign, because his lover began to move. Slow,
gentle thrusts, just Remus rocking into his body. Sirius began to move his
hips, rocking back to meet him, the two of them taking their good sweet time.
They kept stealing satisfying unhurried kisses, and the Animagus stroked his
lovers back, reaching down to caress his backside every now and then. He
decided that it was okay, but nothing to brag about, as quite a few did. They
made it sound so great, so amazing. This was not great, nor was it amazing. It
just was. It felt kind of nice, he supposed.
It did amaze him that Remus, the one person he loved most in the world, was
inside him. They were connected, physically connected. He couldn’t quite get
his head around it, that Remus was actually inside him.
And then the world moved. He wasn’t quite sure how it happened, if he shifted
or Remus shifted or the gods intervened, he didn’t much care. Remus’ hard flesh
was brushing that little spot inside him, and he was seeing stars. He wrapped
his legs around his lovers waist, locking his ankles so the part that felt good
was brushed every time Remus moved in him, and pulled him down into a demanding
kiss, the werewolf moaning into his mouth as he half screamed his pleasure.
“Are you okay?” Remus whispered as he thrust, seemingly unable to stop himself.
Sirius nodded and scraped his nails down his back, not stopping until he
reached his own legs. He then dragged them back up, making Remus moan and lap
at his throat. Sirius threw his head back and began to gasp, crying out as he
felt heat coil in his belly.
He wrapped his arms around Remus’ shoulders and buried his head in his tender
flesh, Remus kissing his neck and shoulder as he lowered himself fully, his
hands on Sirius’ back, tangled in his hair, reaching down to stroke his thigh.
It was incredible, it was unmatchable by anything else. It didn’t matter
anymore, not now. It didn’t matter that no one else wanted him. Remus wanted
him, it was all he would ever need. His life meant something now, his life
meant loving Remus.
“Oh, sweet Merlin!” Moan. “Remus, I can’t…” Gasp. “…hold on!” Groan. “I’m going
to come!” he cried out and Remus swooped in, claiming his mouth in a bruising
kiss as his thrusts became faster, harder, deeper. His penis was trapped
between them, rubbing deliciously against the soft skin of their stomachs,
adding another layer of sensation to his already over stimulated body.
And then the whole world condensed into that one moment, the whole universe
dissolving into nothing but Remus and Sirius and us and now and together. There
was nothing else, just Remus on him, inside him, around him.
Remus collapsed onto his chest, breathing hard and Sirius could feel him
twitching inside him, liquid heat filling him, coating his insides as his own
heat covered their stomachs. Sirius felt all warm and fuzzy. It was quite a
nice feeling really. He stroked his lovers sweaty back as he caught his breath
and then smiled as Remus lifted his head, looking at him nervously.
“Was it good?” Remus asked timidly and Sirius laughed.
“Good? Good? Remus, I don’t think good covers it. Wrong word. Try amazing,
incredible, brilliant, and any other word that amounts to I enjoyed that more
than I can say. You enjoyed it too, right?” Sirius said and Remus smiled as he
nodded, one of his megawatt smiles that were like the first warm rays of
summer. “Come here, come lay with me.”
He moaned as Remus slipped from him, and he found he kind of missed having him
inside him. But then it was all right again, because Remus curled up to his
side, his head pillowed on his chest, their legs tangled. Remus grabbed his
wand and cast a cleaning charm on them both and the bedding, before he snuggled
up, making himself comfortable.
It was warm and safe, lying in Moony’s bed, Moony cuddled with him, stroking
little circles on his belly. It was so comfortable, so nice, and he was so
sleepy, and…
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
“Sirius…Sirius…”
Sirius cracked open his eyes to find that it was dark outside, and Remus was
sitting beside him, fully dressed, stroking his hair.
“What time is it?” he croaked.
“Quarter to six. Time to wake up, sleepy head.”
“What? Are you telling me that I actually slept?” he asked, sitting up.
Remus smiled. “Not only did you sleep, you slept for a whole four hours.”
Sirius was stunned. He hadn’t slept more than twenty minutes a night for years.
There was that one night, when he was about eight, that he had managed a whole
forty minutes, but he’d had the flu. He usually spent his nights reading one of
Remus’ worn muggle paperbacks. Sirius Black, serial insomniac, had just slept
for a whole four hours.
“I can’t believe I slept.” He shivered and realized he could actually see them
breathing. “Merlin’s tits, it’s freezing in here!”
“I know. The fire’s gone out and I can’t relight it. Come on, put some clothes
on,” Remus said, holding out his lovers shirt.
“Did you sleep?” the Pureblood asked as he hurriedly dressed, still shivering
with clothes on.
“No, I watched you. I thought one of us should keep an eye on the time. Did you
know that you cuddle in your sleep?”
“I do?”
“Mmhmm,” Remus hummed, digging through his trunk. “You kept cuddling into me.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I kind of liked it,” Remus reassured as he straightened up, holding
out a dark purple jumper. “Mum made it out of self heating wool, like my
blanket. It’ll keep you warm.”
Sirius wriggled into it and immediately felt better. “You know what, I love
your mother.”
Remus smiled and took his hand, casting a charm on his bed to make it. Together
they walked down to the common room, where they found that room to be just as
frigid. In fact, the whole castle was sub-zero.
They reached the entrance hall and cuddled up on the stairs, waiting for their
friends to return. Six o’clock came and went, then half past, then seven. At
half past seven there was still no sign of James and the others.
“Maybe they got held up because of the snow,” Sirius suggested.
“They are not going to be returning until Christmas Eve.”
The two teens turned around to find Professor Dumbledore walking down the
stairs.
“I was just in Gryffindor Tower looking for the two of you,” he said, coming to
a stop in the entrance hall. “I assumed you would be playing chess or something
along those lines.”
“We decided to come and wait for the others to come back,” Remus explained.
“Professor, what do you mean they’re not going to be back until Christmas Eve?”
Dumbledore motioned them to the closest window and the two of them stared open
mouthed. The light sprinkling of snow had turned into a full scale blizzard.
The two Gryffindor’s couldn’t even see the front steps, all they could see was
a sheet of white.
“Are they going to be okay?” Sirius asked.
“They will be fine. They have sought refuge from the storm in the rooms above
Zonko’s. I assure you, they will be fine until the storm lets up.”
“Can’t they floo back?” Remus suggested, tearing his eyes away from the window.
“Unfortunately, the storm is causing too much interference. They cannot light a
fire by any means. They will be away for the next few days, it will be just the
three of us in the castle. If you would like, I can arrange to stay in
Gryffindor Tower with the two of you.”
“Thank you, Professor, but we’ll be fine. We’ve got each other, we’ll be okay,”
Sirius said and Dumbledore nodded, his eyes twinkling.
“Very well. Now, shall we go and have some dinner? The house elves have made
all that food and it would be a shame for it to go to waste.”
The teens nodded and Sirius sent Remus on ahead, hanging back to speak to the
Professor alone.
“Something I can help you with, Mr Black?”
“Yes. Well…ummm…you see, the thing is….”
“Mr Black, I have been a teacher for many years. Very little shocks me.
Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Dumbledore reassured.
Sirius took a deep breath. “Well, it’s like this. I don’t sleep, I haven’t
slept more than half an hour a night for years. But…well…me and Remus…we kind
of…”
“You took advantage of the day alone together and fell asleep afterwards?”
Dumbledore supplied, amused by the blush staining the sixteen year olds cheeks.
“Exactly. See, the thing is, I actually slept a whole four hours. So I was
wondering if it would be okay if I slept in the same bed as Remus from now on,”
Sirius said and Dumbledore smiled.
“I see no problem with such a request as you are both over sixteen. But I must
ensure that the two of you are being safe. You are taking precautions, aren’t
you?”
“Yes, sir. I promise we’re being careful.”
“Then yes, you may slumber with Mr Lupin.”
Sirius beamed at him. “Thanks, Professor.”
The two of them made their way to the hall, where the two teens were allowed to
sit at the head table. The meal passed in a haze of delicious food and
laughter, the teacher entertaining them with tales of some of his more
interesting students, of which there were many.
When the meal was over, when they could eat no more, Dumbledore followed them
up to the Tower, where he lit a fire in the common room for them, and one in
the dorm. As a sly gift, he enlarged Remus’ bed and blankets to accommodate two
people, and conjured them masses of pillows.
Sirius climbed into Remus’ bed that night and sighed at the warm arms that
wrapped around him. It had been the perfect day, and they had another three
whole days, three wonderful solitary uninterrupted days.
“Remus? You still awake?”
“Just.”
“I love you.”
The arms pulled him closer, a strong chin resting in the crook of his neck. He
reached up and stroked the silky hair. “I love you too, Sirius. Nice of
Dumbledore to resize my bed, wasn’t it?”
Sirius smiled guiltily. “Very nice. Just think, now we can have breakfast in
bed without getting in each others way,” he distracted.
The ghost of a kiss against his shoulder. “That sounds like a plan, Mr Black.
Are you planning on having your wicked way with me come dawns early light?”
Sirius sniggered. “Actually, I was hoping you’d have your wicked way with me.”
A soft chuckle. “Snuff out the candle then. The sooner we sleep the sooner I
can have my wicked way with this wonderful body of yours.”
Sirius took a deep breath and leaned up, blowing out the candle, plunging the
room into darkness. The blizzard raged on outside but all Sirius knew was Remus
kissing the back of his neck as they mumbled their goodnights.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
The scent of toast tickled his nose, and then the press of soft lips against
his neck. He moaned and snuggled further into the warm bedding and slim arms
around him. He didn’t want to open his eyes, it was too bright.
“Wake up, sweetheart. Breakfast is here,” came Remus’ whisper.
“What time is it?”
“A little after seven.”
“Eight hours.”
“Mmhmm. A whole eight hours, unbroken sleep. You are never sleeping without me
again, you know that right?”
Sirius sniggered, stroking the warm chest he was pressed against. “Safe
assumption, as I never manage to sleep anywhere else,” he said, placing a
drowsy kiss on the shoulder he found, and groaned. “I was aiming for your
mouth.”
“Maybe if you opened your eyes you could find it.”
Sirius slowly blinked his eyes, opening them bit by bit. “Merlin, it’s bright
in here,” he said, squinting. Sometime during the night he had rolled over to
face his lover, and the two of them had ended up in the middle of the bed. They
were cocooned in warm blankets and fluffy pillows, and there was a fresh fire
crackling merrily in the grate. “When did you light the fire?”
“I didn’t. Dumbledore came in about ten minutes ago to relight it. I think he’s
the only one who can light fires in this storm.”
Sirius squirmed. “Did he see us?”
“A bit hard to miss the two boys snuggled up together. He wasn’t mad. He smiled
at me and said that we make a wonderful couple. Good thing you asked his
permission, isn’t it?”
Sirius glanced at his smirking boyfriend. “You heard that?”
“I did. The joys of werewolf senses. It was very sweet of you, and quite a
change from tradition, you actually following the rules. Did you really think I
didn’t know why he made my bed bigger?”
Sirius smiled shyly. “Well, yeah, I kind of did,” he admitted, freeing one arm
from the bedding and tangling his fingers in the sandy brown hair. He pulled
Remus in for a kiss, Remus’ hand coming to stroke his side.
“Good morning,” the raven haired boy said.
“Good morning.”
Remus slipped from the bed, returning less than a minute later with a breakfast
tray, which he carefully placed across Sirius’ thighs as he sat up. He then
rejoined him in bed with his own tray.
“How do the house elves know what we like?” Sirius asked through a mouthful of
sausage.
“Don’t know. Good trick though. The bacon’s delicious.”
After they had eaten and the trays had vanished, presumably to some elf waiting
for them, they lay back down on Sirius’ side of the bed, Remus’ chest against
Sirius’ back.
“Remus?”
“Mmmmmm,” the werewolf hummed as he kissed the pale skin of his boyfriends
neck.
“I want you inside me,” he whispered and felt the smile against his neck. Remus
reached over him, grabbing the lube from the bedside cabinet. He pressed it
into Sirius’ hand and proceeded to slowly strip him.
If Sirius had thought he felt loved and cherished yesterday, he was positively
precious now. Remus tasted every inch of him as he uncovered it, gently kissing
and licking every piece of skin as he revealed it. And when he was done
devouring him, he moulded his naked frame to Sirius’ back.
Remus reached forwards and grabbed his wand, quietly murmuring the Charm.
Sirius chuckled.
“Why do you laugh every time I cast it?” Remus asked, tossing his wand back
onto the nightstand.
“It tickles.”
“Ah, I see. Well, I can tickle you if you like,” he said, running his slender
fingers along Sirius’ ribs. The Animagus giggled and squirmed.
“Stop! I don’t want to be tickled!”
“Then what do you want?” Remus husked, his tickling becoming something entirely
more satisfying.
“I want you. I want you to make love to me.”
“I’m all too happy to oblige. We’ll do it like this,” Remus whispered as he
eased a hand behind Sirius’ knee, urging him to push his leg forward.
Sirius did as he was asked, pulling his thigh up, and then gasped as he felt
Remus’ hard hot flesh pressing between his cheeks. The lube was taken from his
hand and he moaned as he was lovingly prepared, as carefully as the first time.
He found himself pushing back against the teasing hand, urging Remus to take
him, take all of him. And when Sirius didn’t think he could take another
second, that surely he was going to embarrass himself and come just from being
fingered, Remus pushed into him excruciatingly slowly.
It was better than the first time; it felt so good to be like this, to have
Remus within him, still and waiting for the illegal Animagus to be ready for
him.
“Move,” Sirius breathed, shocked he could say anything at this point, and he
was rewarded by smooth gentle thrusts. “Oh Merlin, Remus. I love you.”
“I love you. Sirius, I love you so much,” Remus replied, his hand coming around
to rest on his lovers belly. His other hand snaked under Sirius’ neck, coming
around to cross over his chest and hold his shoulder. Sirius moaned as Remus
slid his hand down to grasp his hip, guiding him to match the easy rhythm. They
moved together, Sirius reaching up to clutch at the arm around him, stretching
down to steer the hand on his hip to his member.
Remus stroked him, just enough pressure, the same slow gentle speed as his
thrusts, his thumb circling the slippery tip. All too soon, Sirius couldn’t
hold on, couldn’t make it last any longer, no matter how much he wanted to. He
let go of Remus’ wrist and reached back to tangle his fingers in the silky wavy
hair, turning his head to capture Remus’ lips, the two of them crying out into
each others mouths.
Afterwards, when cleaning charms had been performed, when they were spent and
content to lie together, when he was warm and safe in his boyfriends arms,
Sirius had a heart attack.
“Sirius, there’s something I need to tell you.”
Oh God, he couldn’t breathe. No, it couldn’t have meant nothing, it couldn’t
have just been simply sex, just fucking. No, everyone else did that, then
bragged about it. No, it meant more, it had to, or Sirius didn’t know how to go
on living. Remus must have felt him stiffen because the arms around him
tightened slightly.
“Relax, I’m not dumping you,” Remus whispered, sucking on his earlobe before
kissing his sweat slicked shoulder. Sirius slapped one of the arms around him.
“Don’t do that! You scared the shit out of me!”
Remus chuckled. “Sorry, sweetheart. I should have started with a better line.”
“Damn straight. So what is this thing you need to tell me?”
Sirius wriggled slightly, just enough for him to look up at the werewolf. Remus
was chewing on his lip nervously and even though he found the nibbling
delicious, Sirius couldn’t quite get his heart to stop racing. What the hell
was it? It was serious, he could gather that much.
“Well, the thing is, now that we’ve slept together, now we’ve consummated our
relationship, you know you can never leave me, right? I mean, you can’t dump me
and go with someone else,” Remus said.
“Okay, before I ask my question, let me just say that you’re an idiot if you
think I’ll ever let anyone else have me and what we do is making love, no other
word for it. But, just out of interest, why can’t I leave you?” Sirius said,
his heart slowing a little but still not down to it’s usual lazy rhythm.
“You’re my mate.”
“I know. Whoever you have sex with is your mate. I do read the books you give
me, you know.”
“No, you don’t understand. You’re not just my mate. You’re my true mate. You
know, like soul mates. You’re the one I’m meant to spend my life with. It means
that we’re going to be together forever.”
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry, I should have told you before what we did yesterday, I shouldn’t
have just done it with you. Oh Merlin, I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry, Sirius…”
Sirius didn’t hear anything else. Remus had said forever. Together forever.
Sirius’ heart stopped pounding, and he managed to take a normal breath. His
panic was replaced by a warm sensation, right above his heart. Forever. Remus
would always be there, Sirius would never be alone again. Wait, where were
those warm arms going? Why was Remus crying?
“Why are you so sad?” Sirius asked as Remus sat up, facing away from him, his
back shaking with his badly concealed sobs.
“Because you don’t want me now. I can see it, you never meant this to be a
forever thing, and I’ve gone and fucked everything up, and you’ll be shagging
someone else soon, and I’ll end up in Azkaban for murder, because I can’t let
anyone else touch my mate,” Remus sobbed, folding in on himself.
Sirius eased himself from the bedding and slowly crawled across the mattress.
He draped himself over the slender back and pulled the crying boy back into his
arms. “I’m not leaving you. I love you. And how can you say I don’t want you
anymore? Remus, come on, look at me and I’ll explain,” he said, pulling his
lover back into bed with him. They sat, side-by-side, Sirius trying to work out
how to say what he wanted to.
“You still want me?” Remus whispered.
Sirius smiled at him. That was a good starting point. “Yes, I do. I was just
thinking it through. Remus, honey, I love you, and knowing that you love me is
the best thing in the world for me. Can you figure out why?”
Remus shook his head.
“Honey, no one else has ever wanted me. Look at Reg, look at my mother. None of
them want me, none of them love me. No one in my family ever gave a shit about
me. When I went silent, I was thinking that I’d never be alone again, because I
have you. Forever, you said together forever. Is that true? Is that what it
means for me to be your true mate?”
“Yes. I will never love anyone but you, and I will never let anyone touch you
but me. By having sex with you I’ve bound myself to you for the rest of my
life. I’ll always be there, my wolf instincts see you as the most precious
thing in the world, something that I have to protect,” Remus said, drying his
tears with the tissue Sirius handed to him.
Sirius smiled, his own eyes stinging with tears. “And your human side? How does
that feel about me?” he whispered.
“I love you. I love you with all my heart.”
He couldn’t stop them, even if he had tried to (which he didn’t) he couldn’t
have stopped his tears from falling.
He climbed up onto his knees and crawled round to face his sniffing boyfriend.
Merlin, Remus looked so cute with his beautiful amber eyes shining from the
tears and his hair all ruffled. He slid into Remus’ lap and kissed him hard.
“All right, I’m crap with words so let me just say all of this and then you can
say whatever you like, okay?” Remus nodded. Sirius took a deep breath. “Remus
John Lupin, I love you more than I could ever tell you. I am yours, yours
forever. I will never let anyone else kiss me, or touch me. Never anyone but
you. I am your mate, your true mate, your soul mate. And if you think that
anything will make my feelings change, or go away, you’re wrong. I will love
you my whole life, you and no other.”
The Animagus went silent, waiting for Remus to speak. It was taking a really
long time. Hang on, Remus wasn’t saying anything, not a word. Why wasn’t he
saying anything? Oh! That’s right…
“You can talk now. I’m done,” he added and Remus laughed.
“I don’t need to say anything. You just said it all,” the lycanthrope
whispered.
And that was how it stood. No questions, no doubts. They loved each other, and
that was more precious than anything else.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Day one, Remus and Sirius declared their love and subsequently spent the day in
bed, mating.
Day two, Remus and Sirius spent the day curled up on a sofa under Remus’
blanket in the Gryffindor common room, talking and roasting things in the fire
Dumbledore lit for them.
Day three, Remus and Sirius did all of their homework, with the knowledge of
pissing James and Peter off with their completed assignments, and then rewarded
themselves with a particularly long and satisfying lovemaking session.
Professor Dumbledore popped in on them a few times a day, thankfully catching
them at good moments, when they actually had some clothes on. The man had
impeccable timing. He checked on them first thing in the morning, lighting them
a fire in the dorm as Remus woke first, and last thing at night, making sure
they hadn’t loved each other to death, stopping in at regular intervals in
between. He found it comforting to know that his two remaining students were
still alive, eating the occasional meal and taking the odd shower.
The two boys seemed to be thriving. But on the third day, as he helped them
with their Transfiguration assignments, Professor Dumbledore found out why the
two had enjoyed the three days so much.
They never got any time alone.
James was always claiming Sirius’ attention or Remus’ time, and Peter was
always following them around. The couple had been together for over a year, and
this was the first set of loved up days they had gotten. Lily had tried helping
them escape several times, but she never managed to succeed. It seemed that
James and Peter thought that they were merely fooling around, or something of
the sort, and found it acceptable to butt in whenever they felt like it. The
only time the boys got alone was the Hogsmeade weekends, from which James and
Peter always came back early, and skiving off a class once in a while, which
they usually got caught doing. Even the Prefects bathroom was no longer safe,
as the other Prefects had discovered how much fun it was to shut themselves in.
As Albus Dumbledore waited in the entrance hall at half past six on Christmas
Eve morning, he hit upon the perfect way to help the young couple. Maybe if
James and Peter could be made to understand what he, and clearly Miss Evans,
had grasped so easily, they would give the couple some breathing room. Albus
found he really was liking the little known school rule.
Rule 4832 of the Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry Code of Conduct:
Any two students, of being over legal age and having been in an exclusive
relationship of a romantic nature for the minimum of twelve months and one day,
may honourably slumber within the same bed, at the discretion of the current
Headmaster or mistress of this fine establishment.
Albus really rather liked that rule, though he would rather it did not become
public knowledge that such a rule existed.
“Oh dear. What has happened?” Albus asked Professor Minerva McGonagall as he
caught sight of James’ black eye and split lip.
“Potter picked a fight with Walden Macnair and lost,” she replied. She looked
exhausted. Horace Slughorn didn’t look much better as he shoved Walden towards
the steps to the dungeons, waving Albus off with promises of explanations
later.
“And what was the fight about?”
“We were only talking, Professor,” Lily put in and he focussed his attentions
on the sunburnt redheaded girl. Poor thing. She had obviously gotten caught by
the sun reflecting off of the bright white snow. It made her vivid eyes stand
out even more.
“Miss Evans, perhaps you could give a good account of what has gone on?”
“I was talking with Walden about Potions assignments, and then James comes
muscling in. Well, Walden didn’t like some of the things James called him and
he hit him. It knocked him out, which I suppose is a good thing.”
Albus smiled. “Perhaps it will knock some sense into him. Now, will you three
Gryffindor’s wait here while I have a quick word with Professor McGonagall, and
then I shall escort you up. I have changed the password and I wish to show the
three of you something.”
The three youngsters nodded and he drew Minerva aside.
“Albus, are Remus and Sirius all right? Poor lambs, being here alone for three
days. We would have come back sooner were we able,” she asked anxiously.
“Calm yourself, my dear lady. The two boys are fine, absolutely fine. As a
matter of fact, they were glad of the solitude.”
“What do you mean?”
“You are aware of their relationship, are you not?”
“Yes, I am aware. They have been dating exclusively since last October, which
makes it fourteen months. They are quite the couple.”
“Well, the two of them have not had the chance to have some personal time since
the school year started, so they enjoyed the chance to be alone. I do have
something you should know regarding that.” The witch nodded and he smiled. “I
have granted the young love birds permission to sleep in the same bed. It seems
we have a cure for Mr Black’s insomnia.”
“While it is comforting to hear that the young man is at last getting some
sleep, are you telling me that they have been indulging in sexual relations?”
she asked, her eyes wide.
“I am saying nothing of the sort. What they do with their time is their
business. I can only assure you that they are taking precautions, if they are
indeed in a carnal relationship. What I am saying for definite is that the two
of them have slumbered in the same bed and I have given them permission to
continue to do so,” Albus said. He smiled whimsically. “They are especially
sweet together first thing in the morning, all cuddled up. Very adorable.”
“Albus, you old romantic. Well, are they comfortable in one of the dorm beds?
They are rather small. It would be a wee bit cramped for two of them.”
“I took the liberty of enlarging Mr Lupin’s bed for them.”
The old witch smiled and patted his arm. “I suppose if they have permission
from the headmaster himself, and they are both legally allowed to add a carnal
aspect to their relationship, and it is within the school rules, then who am I
to intervene?”
“Thank you, Minerva. Now, you should get some rest. Though, would you pop down
to the kitchens and inform the elves of the students return first? Please ask
them to send the lovebirds breakfast to the Gryffindor common room this
morning, and not the dorm.”
“Of course.”
With that she cast one more disapproving look at James before she swept away.
Albus made his way over to the three teens. “If you would follow me, please.”
He led them up the stairs, the lively young witch filling him in on their time
away as they walked, and stopped outside the portrait of the Fat Lady.
“Geong lufu,” Albus said and the portrait swung forwards, admitting them.
James wondered what the hell was going on. The blanket Remus usually had on his
bed, the one his mother made him out of self heating wool, was crumpled on the
sofa, and there was indication of things being roasted in the fire, something
Remus loved doing. There wasn’t any evidence of Sirius in the room at all. No
Quidditch magazines, no Zonko products lying around. Nothing of Sirius, only of
Remus.
“Follow me quietly please,” Dumbledore said after he lit the afore mentioned
fire. He led the three of them up to the sixth year boys dorm.
James followed obediently, Lily just in front of him, Peter just behind. Their
dorm room was different to all the others. There were only the four Marauders
in it. They had been the only four boys sorted into Gryffindor that year, and
they rather enjoyed it just being the four of them. They reached the door and
Dumbledore held a finger to his lips.
The three teens hovered in the doorway as Dumbledore moved forwards and lit the
fire, warming the frigid room. The room was different, but James couldn’t work
out how until Remus spoke.
“Morning, Professor,” the werewolf whispered.
“Good morning, Mr Lupin,” Dumbledore replied quietly. He indicated the doorway.
“Your friends have returned safe and sound.”
“Good to know they haven’t been turned into icicles.”
James couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Remus’ bed was bigger than before
they left, it was a double bed now, and there was someone curled up to Remus.
He couldn’t see who it was, the blankets and a ridiculous amount of pillows
were in the way. Dumbledore smiled at the three of them as he passed, sweeping
swiftly down the stairs. James, with his Gryffindor spirit, moved into the room
and his jaw dropped.
Remus had fallen back to sleep, and cuddled up with him was Sirius.
“I told you they weren’t just fooling around,” Lily whispered and James nodded
dumbly.
Peter opened his mouth to say something but James clapped his hand over it. “Go
downstairs with Lily,” James whispered, casting a meaningful glance at the
girl. She took Peter’s arm and dragged him to the door. The plump boy protested
the whole way, and Lily rolled her eyes as she closed the door behind them.
“Bloody idiot,” James muttered. “He’s going to wake them with that racket.”
“I’m already awake, Prongs.”
He looked at the bed to find Remus watching him. “Will I wake him?” he asked in
a whisper, nodding at his best friend.
“No, not if you’re quiet.”
James nodded and sat down near Sirius’ feet, taking in the scene fully. Sirius
never slept, he just didn’t do it. But here he was, snuggled up to Remus, fast
asleep. He smiled in his sleep and James realized he was dreaming. Remus had an
arm pinned beneath his boyfriend and the other one lying protectively across
Sirius’ ribs. The two of them were not just cuddled up, it was something else.
This meant something else, and James felt like a fool for not noticing it
earlier, for ignoring all the signs, all the warnings by Lily.
“I’m so sorry, Moony. I didn’t realize you two were this serious,” James
whispered and Remus smiled at him. “If I had, I wouldn’t have teased you so
much, and I would have backed off.”
“It’s okay. You realize now.”
“Has he slept like this the whole time we’ve been away?”
“Yes. At least eight hours a night. He’s getting quite good at dreaming, too.”
James grinned. “You must have a good effect on him. Did…umm…did the two of
you…you know…do it?” he asked, his curiosity winning out. He wouldn’t just
assume that they had, Remus and Sirius would always manage to surprise him.
Over the years, James had learnt to never assume anything, he would usually be
proven wrong.
“I’m not going to answer that. Not until Sirius tells me what he wants you all
to know,” Remus whispered simply and James nodded.
It was as good as a yes, but it could mean Sirius might want to save face. The
guy was a player, well, he was until he got involved with Remus. Maybe they
hadn’t done it but Sirius wanted to say that they had. Or they had and it was
more than just a shag, in which case Sirius would want to keep it private.
Either way, Remus would protect Sirius’ right to confirm or deny. He would
protect Sirius, point blank. James looked at the sleeping Animagus once more,
noticing the way his hands were pressed against Remus’ heart, the way his head
was tucked under his chin. The way Remus looked perfectly content to lie like
that all day and night if Sirius wanted to.
“You really love him, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I do. And he loves me.”
Lily poked her head around the door. “Breakfast has arrived,” she whispered
before she disappeared again.
Remus eased his arm out from under Sirius and the Animagus reached for it.
“Where going?” he mumbled sleepily.
“Just down to the common room for a bit. Go back to sleep, I’ll be right back,”
Remus murmured, stroking his hair, their foreheads touching.
Sirius leaned in and kissed the werewolf softly before he nodded. Remus
continued to stroke Sirius’ hair and face until he wriggled down into the warm
bedding and drifted off again. Remus slipped from the bed and James noticed
that he was wearing a pair of pyjama bottoms. He had assumed that the two of
them were naked under their blankets. He reminded himself to, once again, never
assume anything. Remus pulled on his top and the two of them slipped from the
room.
“So, how was Hogsmeade?” Remus asked as they stepped into the common room.
“Good grief, Evans, what happened?”
“Sunburn. Who knew you could get burnt in the dead of winter?” she said
tensely, sipping from a teacup.
“Hogsmead could have been better,” James said as he flopped into an armchair.
Remus curled up under his blanket and sniggered at the black eye. “I got into a
disagreement with Macnair. Honestly, Moony, you try sharing a room with him for
three days and see how well you do.”
“Probably a damn sight better than you, Prongs,” Remus joked as Lily passed him
a cup of tea and a slice of toast. Peter was squirming in his arm chair and
Remus sighed. He polished off his toast before he spoke again. “Go on,
Wormtail, ask. Though, keep in mind I might not tell you anything at all.”
“Did you do it?” Peter asked excitedly.
“Leave it alone, Peter,” James warned.
“He said I could ask, so I’m asking. So, Moony, did you and Pads shag?”
“None of your business,” Remus said simply.
“Come on! Tell me.”
“No. It’s private, Peter.”
“But…”
“Shut it, Peter,” Lily said firmly. “It’s none of your business so stop it.”
Remus could see that Peter was not going to give in, and Remus was not going to
tell anyone anything, not until he knew what Sirius wanted people to know. He
didn’t care either way, not amongst his closest friends, but he was not the
only one concerned in this. “What time is it?”
“About half past seven,” Lily said.
“Right. If you’re that interested, Wormtail, you can ask Padfoot. I’ll go with
whatever he wants to tell you,” he said, standing up and grabbing the covered
tray. Crumpets, by the smell of it, Sirius’ favourite. That would help make
this a bit smoother.
His three friends stood up with him and he paused. “Let me wake him before you
launch into the interrogation, Peter.”
The blond boy nodded and Remus headed to the stairs. At the door he handed
James the tray. “Wait until he’s awake before you put the tray on the bed. It
might go flying otherwise,” he said and James nodded. The three friends went
and perched on James’ bed, which was closest to the double, and Remus climbed
back into bed, snuggling down under the covers, curling close to his lover.
Remus had no problems with his friends seeing him and Sirius together in bed,
not when they were like this. He was proud of the love they had, proud of them
being together. And Sirius wasn’t naked under the duvet, so it was safe to try
waking him without giving them an eyeful of his mate.
He brushed Sirius’ hair from his forehead and the raven haired boy snuggled
closer to him, tucking his head under his chin again.
“Sirius…Sirius, wake up,” he called softly and Sirius groaned, stroking Remus’
chest.
“Don’t want to. All warm and cosy,” Sirius mumbled, pulling the duvet up over
his shoulder.
“Breakfast is here.”
“Not hungry.”
Remus smiled. “Yeah, right. Come on, sweetheart, our friends are back.”
“What?”
“James, Peter and Lily are back.”
“Is it Christmas Eve?”
“Yes.”
“What time is it?” Sirius asked as he began to blink his eyes open.
“Half seven, you got nine hours sleep,” Remus said and smiled as Sirius looked
up at him, squinting at the bright early morning sun. “Good morning,
sweetheart.”
“Mmmmmm,” Sirius hummed as he stretched, before he brought Remus in for a
morning kiss, smiling into it. “Morning, honey. What’s for breakfast?”
“Crumpets.”
Sirius was wide awake now. He wriggled around, sitting up and smiling as James
handed him his breakfast.
“Look at the sunburn,” James whispered and Sirius looked over at Lily.
“Good look, Evans,” Sirius said as Remus poured him some tea.
“Oh, shut up, Black. That hickey’s a good look for you too,” she said, nodding
at his bare torso. He glanced down and, sure enough, there was a bright fresh
love bite on his left shoulder. He grinned sheepishly and pulled on his shirt
before chomping into a hot buttered crumpet.
“Peter has some questions and I’m not telling him anything without you
approving it first. I don’t care either way, but you might,” Remus said,
snagging a crumpet, and Sirius looked over at their friend, who was positively
bouncing in his excitement. The Pureblood rolled his eyes.
“Fine, I’ll answer if Prongs tells me what happened to his eye.”
“Walden Macnair happened,” James supplied.
Sirius grimaced and started on his second crumpet. “Enough said. Okay,
Wormtail, fire away.”
“Did the two of you shag?” Peter asked bluntly.
“No,” said Sirius and Remus grinned.
“What? But…but…you’re in the same bed! You can’t tell me you just slept! Three
days alone together! No way!”
“I didn’t say we just slept,” Sirius said and James smiled, catching on. Lily
looked quite at ease, as if she had known all along that this would happen.
Maybe she had, she was a very smart witch.
Peter looked like his head was about to explode, he looked that confused.
“What?”
“We didn’t just sleep, but we didn’t shag either.” Sirius glanced at Remus and
leaned in, giving him a sweet kiss. “We made love.”
Peter snorted. “You just said you didn’t shag. You’re a liar, Pads.”
Sirius rolled his eyes, as did James, Remus and Lily. “I am not a liar. There’s
a difference between the two, Peter. Me and Remus did not shag, fuck, hump, rut
or any other word you choose to use right now. We made love, it’s different.”
“How?”
Sirius took a sip of tea. “We’ll use the word shag, as it’s the one you decided
to use. When you shag, it’s just about sex, getting your rocks off. When you
shag, you go and brag about it afterwards, it doesn’t mean anything, it’s just
physical.”
“But isn’t that what you did?”
Sirius growled. Why wasn’t Peter being timid anymore? That would have been so
much easier. “Someone shut him up while I finish explaining,” he snapped and
Lily smiled, placing a hand over Peter’s mouth. “Thank you, Evans. Right, where
was I?”
“The difference,” Remus supplied, wiping melted butter from the corner of
Sirius’ mouth with his thumb.
“Oh right. The difference, Peter, is that when you make love, it’s something
beautiful. It’s more than just the physical, it’s about being with the one you
love, and expressing that love. It’s nothing to brag about, because it’s
private. If you tell people all the details, it becomes something…I don’t
know…cheap, dirty. It loses something special, something important. Get it
now?”
Peter nodded and Lily took her hand away. “So, who did who?”
They all groaned at him.
“Stop asking, Peter. We’re not telling you anything else,” Sirius said.
“Aw, come on! Just tell me who did who,” Peter persisted.
“Stop,” Remus growled.
“I just want to know.”
James lunged across Lily, making a grab for Peter, but the little blond was
saved by the door opening, revealing Professor McGonagall.
“Mr Potter! Fighting again!” she snapped.
“He wasn’t fighting, Professor,” said Remus. “He was shutting him up.”
“And why does he need shutting up?”
“He’s being a nosy little git, that’s why,” James said angrily.
“Explain,” she commanded. “Wait, first I want to check on my students. Remus,
Sirius, are the two of you all right? Three days alone, I was worried you’d go
stir crazy.”
Remus smiled. “No, Professor, we’re all right.”
Sirius glanced down at the bed. “Ummm, we…”
“It is all right, Mr Black. Professor Dumbledore has explained this…cure for
your insomnia already. You need not give excuses,” she said and Sirius smiled.
“Right, now, what has Mr Pettigrew done to warrant being called a nosy little
git?”
“He’s asking personal questions when all of us have told him to shut it,”
Sirius grumbled, glaring at Wormtail.
McGonagall surveyed the scene before she sighed. “Mr Potter, Miss Evans, please
take Mr Pettigrew down to the common room. I will deal with him in a moment,”
she said and the two teens grabbed the third, dragging him from the room. She
stared at the two of them sitting in bed before she sat down on James’ bed. She
seemed to be unable to figure out what she wanted to say.
“Just say it, Professor,” Remus said as Sirius placed his tray on the floor,
where it vanished.
“I have a few questions that I need answered honestly. Will you answer them for
me, boys?” she asked.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I don’t want to know any personal details, I just need to be aware of what is
going on. Are the two of you having sexual relations? ”
“Yes, we are,” Sirius said.
“And are the two of you being careful?”
“Yes.”
“You know I’ll have to write to your parents, don’t you, Mr Lupin? We must keep
them informed of your behaviour,” she said gently. “Because of your condition,
they need to be aware of everything, so they have no big surprises when you go
home for the holidays.”
The two teens looked at each other. “Can you put it delicately?” Remus asked.
“Of course.”
“Then go right ahead, Professor.”
She sighed, looking at the two of them. She had never seen either of them so
relaxed. And she had never seen Sirius so well rested.
“All right, boys. You are both sixteen, legal in the Wizarding World, so I will
go along with what you agreed with Professor Dumbledore on a few conditions.
Firstly, you are not to let anyone but the three Gryffindor’s downstairs know
about this. Some of the other Muggleborn students might not understand, and it
is a little known school rule that you are allowed to do this. Let’s not have
every student thinking this is an excuse to ‘get it on’. Secondly, you must
both see Madame Pomfrey when she returns, for no other reason than to put my
mind at ease. Thirdly, you must continue to be careful. It would not do anyone
any good to have one of you end up pregnant. All clear, boys?”
They smiled. “We’ll be good, Professor. We promise,” Sirius said.
“Good to hear. Now, what was Peter doing?”
Remus growled. “He was asking about the details, Professor. All four of us told
him to shut it, to leave it alone, but he kept on about it. We’re not telling
him, or anyone else, about what we do. It’s no ones business but ours. It’s
private and he won’t get that into his thick skull.”
She nodded and smiled at them. “Don’t worry. I will be dealing with him. Is it
all right for me to send Miss Evans and Mr Potter back up if they wish to
come?”
They nodded and she swept from the room, leaving the door open a crack. They
could hear her yelling at Peter and they smiled.
“We shouldn’t be smiling over our friend getting in trouble, you know,” Sirius
put in, still grinning.
“Probably not, and we wouldn’t under any other circumstances, but this time he
asked for it,” Remus said, making himself comfortable. He propped himself up
against a mass of pillows and opened his arms. Sirius snuggled into them and
the two of them got a few minutes alone before footsteps could be heard on the
stairs.
“You guys decent?”
Sirius snorted. “We are, it’s safe, Prongs.”
James entered the room and collapsed across the foot of the double bed at
Remus’ permission to do so.
“McGonagall’s taken him to Dumbledore,” James said.
“You what? It wasn’t that serious,” Remus said.
“It bloody well was,” he argued.
Sirius felt it best to stay out of it for the time being. He felt that Peter
had gotten what he deserved, and Dumbledore would make it clearer to Peter than
any of them ever could. Sirius was content to lie in Remus’ arms, having quite
a nice conversation with James.
“Let’s just forget about it for now. It’s done,” Remus said, ending the debate.
“Where’s Evans?”
“Gone to take a shower. I’m waiting for her scream when the water hits the
burn.”
Sure enough, no sooner had James said it was there a shriek from the girls
dorms. The three boys sniggered. James looked suddenly guilty.
“I’m so sorry, guys. If I’d have realized you two were more than just fooling
around, I would have backed off. And I wouldn’t have teased you so much.
Probably,” he said. “Though, neither of you told me you were this serious.”
“Oh look, Moony, he’s got selective hearing,” Sirius said, making Remus chuckle
and James blush. “We did try to tell you. And I seem to recall Evans repeating
it quite often.”
“All right! I’m a prick and I should have buggered off. Forgive me?” James said
pleadingly.
“I suppose so. If you help us figure out how the fuck we make this work with
you and Peter sleeping in the room with us,” Sirius said.
The three were silent, each trying to figure it out. How the hell was it
supposed to work? Sirius had tried being quiet, tried not calling out his
lovers name, but that had lasted only as long as it had taken Remus to find his
sweet spot. They had tried biting pillows to muffle the cries of pleasure, but
they gave up when it became hard to breathe. They would have bitten each other,
if it was safe to do so, which they weren’t quite sure about.
“My God, silence from James Potter. What did you say to him?” Lily said as she
entered the room, her hair still wet and her skin a little more raw looking.
“Come here, Evans, let me heal you,” Sirius said, taking pity on her.
All of them knew just how good Sirius was at healing charms. He could have
given Madame Pomfrey a run for her money. He was the one who usually patched
Remus up after a full moon, even if the spells did make Remus feel queasy
afterwards.
The girl moved forwards and plopped down onto the bed, sighing in relief as the
spell restored her flawless ivory skin.
“Thanks,” she breathed, cautiously touching her face. “Remus, do you mind if I
use Sirius’ leg as a cushion?”
“Nope.”
“Hang on, why did you ask Moony and not Padfoot? It’s his leg,” James asked as
she lay back, her head pillowed on Sirius’ thigh. The three of them smiled at
him.
“You want to explain, Evans? I’ll let you know if you get anything wrong, which
I doubt you will,” Remus offered and she nodded.
“Every werewolf has a true mate. It’s the lycanthropic equivalent of soul
mates. It’s the person they’re meant to be with for the rest of their lives.
Sirius is Remus’ true mate. Am I right so far?” she said and Remus nodded,
Sirius smiling as he toyed with her hair, Remus stroking his. “Right, so, if
you take that into consideration, along with the fact that Remus is a dominant
alpha wolf, it all adds up to no one touching his mate without permission.
Without his consent, whoever touches Sirius would be a threat, according to his
wolf instincts, and he’d probably end up in Azkaban for murder, which none of
us want, so it’s best to ask Remus’ permission to touch Sirius, especially as
it’s so soon after the bond between them becoming solid, which happens with the
first mating or, as they put it, lovemaking.”
“Did you swallow a text book, Evans?” James said after he processed all the
information.
“No. Unlike you, Potter, I actually do my homework. Besides, Remus’ mum was
nice enough to explain it to me over the summer. So, what were you discussing
before I came in?”
“We were trying to figure out how we make this work,” Sirius said.
“Make what work?”
“Prongs and Wormtail sleeping in the same room as me and Moony.”
“Why don’t you just cast a silencing spell on the drapes?”
“What?” Remus asked.
“Close the drapes and cast a silencing spell on them. No one will be able to
hear or see you. And if the drapes are closed, it’ll be like a do not disturb
sign to James and Peter,” she said reasonably.
James stared at her in shock, but Remus and Sirius smiled at each other. “I
rather like that idea,” Remus said. “What do you think, Prongs?”
James snapped himself out of his shocked silence. “I think it’ll work.” He
glanced at Lily. “You know what? I think I’m going to go outside to build a
snowman. You coming?”
“Yeah, why not?” she said, sitting up. “You two coming to join us?”
The two looked at each other. “We’ll join you in a bit, once we’ve had a
shower,” Sirius said. The two teens left and Sirius sat up.
“You okay?” Remus asked, wriggling behind him so he could drape himself around
his lover.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Moony?”
“Mmmmmm?”
“What are your parents going to say about this?”
Remus smiled. “Don’t know. They’ll probably be fine with it. You’re not
worried, are you, sweetheart?”
“No,” Sirius said, a little too quickly, a tad too loudly. He smiled
sheepishly. “All right, yes, I am.”
“Why? My parents adore you.”
“Yes, but that was before I made love with their only son. What are they going
to think of me now?”
Remus sighed. “Sirius, sweetheart, listen to me. When I was bitten, my parents
thought that was it. They thought I would never get to go to Hogwarts, that I
would never have any friends, that I would be alone for the rest of my life.
Both of them, even dad, knew that I would never find real acceptance in the
Wizarding World. They both knew that I was damned to a difficult life,” he
said.
“But your life isn’t like that,” Sirius argued.
“That’s my point,” Remus said. “Because of Dumbledore, I got to come to
Hogwarts. And because of you and James and Peter, I have friends, good friends.
The best friends. And because of you, I’m not alone. Sirius, you love me. You
accept me for who and what I am, without question. I love you, and my parents
know that. They know that you make me happy. And if this is another part of me
being happy, they will go with it.”
Sirius sat there mulling it all over. He adored Anne and John, they were
brilliant. They were even better than James’ parents, and that was saying
something. They were the two people in all the world, apart from Remus, he
didn’t want to hurt in any way. He wanted them to be proud of him, to think
that he was good enough for Remus. He didn’t think he was, he had never though
he was good enough for Remus. But Remus wanted him, and being with him made
Remus happy. Who was he to deny Remus something that made him happy? Sirius
being with Remus seemed to make Anne and John happy too, so he supposed he
would go along with it. Either way, if they accepted them making love or not,
he would not give Remus up. Remus was the best thing to ever happen to him, and
he would do what he had to, to keep him.
“I guess I’ll stop worrying then,” Sirius said. Remus smiled and swung around,
landing in Sirius’ lap. He reached up and pulled him down for a kiss. “Do you
want to go and make a snowman?”
“Yes, I think I do.”
“We better get that shower then.”
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Madame Pomfrey arrived back at Hogwarts on Boxing Day, and Remus and Sirius
were immediately summoned.
They walked into the Hospital Wing and took deep breaths before they approached
the matron.
“Ah, there you are. Right then, sit down boys, we’re going to have a little
chat before I check you both over,” she said firmly and they knew by the look
in her eyes that she was not joking, and this was no time to argue with her. So
they took their seats and waited for the interrogation.
Remus was already red in the face at the mere thought of someone knowing
intimate details of his life with Sirius, but he knew he had to endure it.
“Okay, boys. First off, who was the penetrating partner?”
“Remus was,” Sirius said.
“And did you use protection?”
“Yes, we used the Charm.”
“Adequate lubrication?”
“Yes.”
“Are you in any pain?”
Sirius shook his head and she made some notes on her parchment.
“Now, have you given thought to contraception?”
“Of course we have, which is why we used the Charm. We’re being careful, Madame
Pomfrey, we promise,” Sirius said and she smiled.
“I was talking about beyond this first initial stage. Were you considering the
Charm as a permanent fixture in your intimate moments, or would you like to try
some other form of protection?”
“We were wondering about the Daily Potion,” Remus said quietly, not quite able
to look her in the eye. “I’m sorry, Madame Pomfrey, I don’t mean to be rude,
but do we really have to do this?”
She smiled at him. “Yes, Remus, we do. It’s important we keep an eye on you,
and now Sirius comes as part of that deal.”
Remus sighed and nodded, Sirius reaching over to hold his hand. The questions
continued, Remus getting redder and redder as they went on. Then Remus had to
squash his wolf instincts as Madame Pomfrey examined Sirius. It was not
something he enjoyed, sitting by while someone else touched his mate so
intimately. But he managed to control himself, and they were finally allowed to
leave with a months supply of the Daily Potion for both of them, just in case
they decided to have Sirius top, and an instruction of no biting hard enough to
break the skin on Remus’ part. Sirius biting him was fine, he already knew
Sirius could not break the skin, but he couldn’t bite Sirius too hard or there
was the risk of infection.
“I hated that,” Remus said as they stashed their potions in their bedside
cabinets.
“I know, but look on the bright side. It’s all over now,” Sirius said, pulling
him in for a kiss.
“That is a bright side. Now, did you notice that James and Peter are off with
Hagrid, looking at his new hippogriff?”
“Yes, I noticed,” Sirius said, moaning as Remus kissed his throat.
“Good,” Remus said as he pushed him onto the bed.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Sirius was highly confused.
He had happily been sitting in his Muggle Studies lesson, one of the few
lessons he had without Remus, when Hagrid came to get him. He told him to go
straight to the Hospital Wing, that it was very important. Dumbledore had asked
for him specifically.
And he found out why as he walked in.
Remus was wild, writhing on one of the beds, snarling and growling, trying to
bite the people restraining him. Of which, there were four. Professor’s Sprout,
Slughorn, McGonagall and Dumbledore had a limb each and were pinning the
writhing werewolf to the bed, all of them struggling despite the advantage of
age over Remus. Madame Pomfrey was dancing around them, trying to administer
what she could, but she stopped the moment Sirius entered the room.
“Mr Black, at last!” the matron cried, hurrying over. “Remus is very ill, we
need to treat him, but he won’t let us.”
“What’s wrong with him?” Sirius asked, his eyes fixed on his boyfriend.
“I think it’s appendicitis, but I can’t be sure until I examine him.”
“Why is he like this?”
“It’s a werewolf thing. He’s an Alpha dominant wolf , which means-”
“-he won’t let you take control over him. I do read the books given to me. So
you need me to…what’s it called?”
“Force submission. Yes, we need you to do that. Do you know how?”
“Sort of…well, no, not really,” Sirius admitted.
Madame Pomfrey nodded, guiding him to the bed but being careful not to actually
touch him. “Well, you need to assert yourself as the Alpha, you have to take
that power away from him. You might be able to convince him with words, you are
his mate.”
“And if I can’t do it with words?”
“To a werewolf, their throat is the most vulnerable point. You need to thread
your fingers through his hair, placing the other hand on his chest. Then, at
the same time, force his chest down and his head back, leaving his throat
exposed.”
“That’s it?”
“Well…you then need to fasten your teeth around his throat. You won’t hurt him,
I promise, you can’t break the skin.”
Sirius looked between the witch and his mate, taking a deep breath before
nodding.
“Remember, even after he’s calm, you can’t let go.”
The Animagus nodded once more before stepping forwards, hesitating for a
moment, before finding his resolve.
Sirius strode forwards and stood beside his lovers arching ribs. “Remus, let
Madame Pomfrey help you,” he said firmly.
He was met with Remus straining forwards to try and bite him. Remus never bit
him, not even in the blazing fires of their passion. Human Remus never bit,
period.
Sirius grabbed Remus by the hair with his right hand and placed his left on
Remus’ chest. Simultaneously, he yanked Remus’ head back and forced his chest
down, baring his throat which Sirius fastened his jaws around. As Remus
continued to struggle, he increased the pressure of his teeth.
Though it was possible for Remus to bite him and break the skin, even if he had
never done it, Sirius could not do the same. The werewolf’s skin was much
tougher than it looked, his teeth could not pierce it. But he hated to do this
all the same, he still worried about hurting him. It was pointless to worry
about causing him pain, for Remus to become feral he was already in agony, but
he still worried about hurting his sweet Remus.
After what seemed an infinity, Remus fell still. One moment of silence seemed
to stretch out into eternity, before Remus whined and pushed his belly forwards
in submission.
“Sirius,” he whimpered. “It hurts, Siri.”
A sick wolf turned to their alpha for help, and Remus was not the alpha
anymore. He would not say it hurt if Sirius had not won the battle. Sirius
removed his mouth from the pale neck, loosened his grip on the sandy brown hair
and eased his pressure on the beautifully muscled chest. He captured those
amber eyes with his own.
“I know, honey. I know it does. Madame Pomfrey…” Remus growled at the mention
of the matron and Sirius yanked his hair again. “You will let her help you!” he
ordered, snarling it out.
Remus gasped, finding it hard to breathe through the pain. His eyes fixed on
Sirius’ blue ones. His alpha. The alpha would help him, he always did, he would
make it better. He whined and the grip on his hair eased.
“My stomach…it hurts.”
“I know. You’re sick, Remus, you need help,” Sirius said firmly. “She needs to
help you now. Submit and let her treat you.” He watched as Remus considered it
and then closed his eyes in defeat.
Madame Pomfrey moved forwards at Sirius’ nod and felt her way along Remus’
stomach, pausing when Remus half-screamed. She pulled out her wand and murmured
a few spells.
“Just as I thought, appendicitis. He needs surgery,” she said, summoning a
potion. “Sirius, I need him to take this.”
“What is it?”
“A sedating potion. It’ll put him to sleep whilst I treat him.”
Sirius nodded and looked back down at his mate. “Remus…honey. You need to take
this potion that Madame Pomfrey has.”
“Why?” the boy asked suspiciously.
“It will help you, make you feel better. Take it for me, Remus.”
It was the direct order that got Remus to obey. Though his gaze was still wary,
he obediently drank as the phial was pressed to his lips. Almost immediately
after he had drunk the potion, his eyes began to close. His body strained
forwards at the last moment, fighting unconsciousness for a few moments before
he finally succumbed.
“Right, you can let go of him now,” she announced. They all cautiously released
their grips and took a step back, heaving a collective sigh of relief. All but
Sirius. The young man remained where he was, feeling Remus’ heart beating
beneath his fingers, stroking his hair.
“Sirius, you need to wait outside. You can’t be in here while she treats
Remus,” Dumbledore said softly.
Sirius nodded, leaning down to lay a gentle kiss on the smooth forehead.
He let the headmaster lead him outside and sat down on the padded bench he was
directed to.
And then there was nothing left to do but wait.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Remus slowly opened his eyes to find Sirius curled up against his side, snoring
softly. He smiled, brushing back an errant lock of his blue black hair, before
looking around. He was still in the hospital wing, and through the gap in his
curtains he could see Madame Pomfrey hovering over Delores Umbridge, fixing
what seemed to be a broken wrist.
Remus, however, felt like he had been trampled by a herd of hippogriff’s. And
he dimly realised that the complete centre of his pain was residing in his
lower abdomen. He gently pulled at the blanket and sheet to find that he was
almost completely nude apart from his boxers and a dressing on his stomach.
“Remus?”
The teenage werewolf smiled and let Sirius kiss him gently.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like I was run over by the Hogwarts Express,” Remus said as Sirius propped
himself up on an elbow and stared down at him, reaching up to brush his fingers
through Remus’ hair. “What happened?”
“You had appendicitis. Madame Pomfrey had to remove your appendix.”
“Remove it?”
“Yup. Don’t worry. Apparently the appendix is completely useless. We don’t
actually use it so you won’t miss it.”
Remus lay there in silence for a while, distracted from everything around him
as he tried to figure out what was wrong. Something was, he knew that much, but
he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. It was like the feeling of knowing
you’d forgotten something, but not being able to recall what it was, or walking
into a room only to have forgotten what it was you were there for.
His distraction didn’t stop him admiring the way Sirius’ shirt rode up and
revealed a wide patch of pale skin as he stretched. It was so pale and smooth,
with the faintest scattering of hair all in a straight line leading down from
his belly button to disappear into the waistband of his jeans. Remus wanted to
reach out and run his thumb along it, to trace it with his tongue maybe, and
then lay down and let his Alpha have his wicked way with him, to let Sirius
dominate and control him, force things from his body that no one else…
“Why do I want to submit to you?” Remus asked suddenly.
“What?” Sirius said through a yawn.
“I want to submit to you. Why?”
“Ummmm…I don’t know,” Sirius said, and Remus just knew he was lying. His inner
wolf was whining at him, clawing away merrily.
“Sirius, tell me what you know. Now!” Remus demanded.
Sirius sighed, knowing Remus wasn’t going to like it. “You wouldn’t let them
treat you, Remus, and you were in pain, you were really sick, I had to,” he
reasoned and Remus’ eyes narrowed.
“You had to what?” the prefect questioned.
“I had to force submission on you,” Sirius whispered, ducking his head and
looking sheepish.
Remus was stunned. He hadn’t realised that someone could do that to him, but he
supposed he should have thought about it before. Once he surmised that Sirius
was his mate, it should have occurred to him that, with his Alpha status,
Sirius would be his Beta. What did he think would happen if he got hurt or
sick? That he would just magically lie down and let them treat him? He knew
that wouldn’t happen, it should have occurred to him what would be needed.
He reached out and grabbed Sirius’ hand, pulling him close and grazing his lips
across Sirius’, smiling when his lover gave in and kissed him, gently at first
but gaining confidence as he realised Remus was letting him take control. He
slipped his tongue into Remus’ mouth, tentatively to begin with, but soon
becoming bold and demanding, the two of them losing themselves, until a slight
cough reminded them where they were.
“Good to know you’re feeling better, Mr. Lupin,” Madame Pomfrey said as she
came round the curtain carrying a tray full of potions and whatnot, a small
smile lingering on her lips. Remus felt himself burn with embarrassment at
having been caught, but he refused to feel shame. He and Sirius loved each
other, and kissing was just a way of expressing that. There was no reason to be
ashamed. Sirius, on the other hand, looked incredibly smug and cocky, and Remus
rolled his eyes. He doubted Sirius would ever loose the urges of the Stud that
had served him for so long.
“I’m still sore,” Remus said as Pomfrey pulled back the sheet, carefully
pulling off the dressing to look at the wound.
“What are those?” Sirius questioned.
“Stitches,” the matron answered. “I wasn’t too keen on using too many spells on
Remus, not with all I had to do to him. The stitches are a muggle way of
holding the skin together while it heals a little.”
“How do they work?” he asked as she began to delicately clean the wound.
“It’s like sewing,” Remus said, his eyes fixed on the ceiling, trying
desperately to ignore the stinging of whatever the cloth was soaked in as it
touched his damaged flesh. “Needle, thread, flesh instead of fabric.”
He glanced at Sirius to see him looking faintly green, before he felt that
reassuring hand slip into his, letting him grip as the nurse got a little
rougher with her cleaning. She stood there and gave Remus some instructions
about keeping the wound clean, and that he would be moved to the Shrieking
Shack tonight, so he could heal in peace. No one was quite sure what Remus’
inner wolf would do with this sudden change, and they would rather he didn’t
maim anyone.
As the nurse left, Remus felt himself drifting off, knowing that Sirius would
be there when he woke.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Sirius was alone in his and Remus’ bed, watching the clouds drift across the
tiny slither of moon, listening to Peter and James snore. Remus had been in the
Shack for two days and two very long nights and to Sirius it felt like he was
split in half. Remus was everything to him, and living like this, so close and
yet so far from touching him… it was driving Sirius insane.
Deep in the wee small hours of the morning, as he was drifting in that small
space between waking and dreams, Sirius felt something change. It was as if
something deep inside him had shifted. He was barely aware of anything as he
rose from his bed, drawn towards the door, down the stairs and out of
Gryffindor tower. He didn’t see anything as he walked across the grounds to the
Willow, not even questioning it when it fell still for him.
He didn’t feel it when Dumbledore’s spell hit him, making him glow blue
briefly. As he descended into the tunnel, Albus slipped back into the castle,
knowing he had at least protected the young Pureblood from an unplanned and,
possibly, unwanted pregnancy. Everything now was in the hands of fate.
Sirius felt his feet carrying him forwards, until he was standing at the foot
of the bed where Remus was sleeping, nude aside from the sheets and the plaster
over his stitches. As if some invisible force was watching over them,
controlling everything that was happening, Remus’ eyes opened, amber locking
with blue. They were both unnaturally still for a moment, the silence
stretching between them.
Remus watched as Sirius shed his clothes, leaving them in a pile where he
stood, before rounding the bed to pull off the covers. He climbed onto the
mattress, laying back, his arms raised above his head to expose the pale lean
length of him.
Neither of them could stop what was happening, and neither of them wanted to.
They had love and unwavering trust between them.
Sirius sighed at the first touch of Remus’ lips on his, his act of submission
becoming genuine as he felt Remus take control of him. Those glorious hands
were on his skin, setting a trail of flames in their wake.
“Say it,” Remus whispered, his lips mere millimetres from Sirius’ ear.
“You’re the alpha,” Sirius said in a voice that was almost not his own. Some
rational part of his brain told him that this wasn’t normal, that there was
something off with the whole situation. But he couldn’t bring himself to care.
They could almost feel the weight of responsibility shift from Sirius to Remus,
some subtle transference. And with it came the heightening of all Sirius’
senses. He lay there, waiting for his lover to take control of him.
Soft lips tasting him, a slick tongue licking at him almost desperately, and
Sirius realised he was being marked. Whatever crazy werewolf instincts Remus
usually kept under control were unleashed, boundless. A forceful nuzzle of his
belly reminded Sirius of his place as Remus’ beta. If he wanted to, Remus could
rip out his vulnerable belly, kill him, take everything that he was and destroy
it. He was strong enough to, the lithe form contained enough power to
completely obliterate the Animagus.
But he didn’t.
And there it was, what made Remus the alpha. He had this power and chose not to
use it, to let Sirius live. The werewolf in Remus was completely devoted to
Sirius and would defend him to the death. Sirius had never felt more loved.
He felt even more loved when Remus surged over him, thrusting to the hilt into
his tight passage with one sharp push. Sirius threw his head back and screamed
in pain. He’d never been taken without preparation or lube, and to be taken
without either was in no way pleasant. He gasped, desperately trying to
remember how to breathe and pulled away from the hardness penetrating him, his
hands coming down from their place above his head to shove at Remus’ chest.
Remus fell back against the post, looking at the writhing figure of his mate.
Sirius rolled to the side, bringing his knees up to his chest, and Remus saw
the pool of blood that lay where Sirius had been.
Blood he’d drawn. Pain he’d caused.
“Siri?” Remus whispered. “Sirius, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know,” Sirius moaned. “I know you didn’t mean it. But it did hurt, Remus.”
He paused, wiping at the tears streaking down his cheeks. “I didn’t think you
would ever hurt me,” he whispered.
Remus felt his heart break. How could he have been so stupid?! He had to make
it right, make it better, show Sirius that he knew he was wrong. He crawled up
the bed and curled around his mate, pulling the younger boy back into his arms.
“How can you still be hard?” Sirius asked.
Remus burned with embarrassment. “I don’t know,” he murmured. “I can’t make it
go away.”
Sirius rolled over and looked Remus in the eye. There was true pain, endless
and burning. He leaned in and kissed him, gently at first and then slowly
letting Remus control the kiss once more. Sirius slowly let himself relax as
Remus began to touch him again, feeling only pleasure. Hours it took, Remus
pleasuring him, worshiping him, whispering his worry, how much he never wanted
to hurt his lover again.
Eventually Remus came to a realization. He wouldn’t be able to take Sirius in
their usual werewolf-on-top position. His pain medication had worn off, and
Sirius was still too wary of him and his penis to allow it.
Remus knew how it worked: his inner wolf was reclaiming his position as alpha,
and sex was the way to do it. It was true submission, in the eyes of a
werewolf, to allow another to enter your body, to take control of your physical
desires.
He rolled, pulling Sirius up to straddle him, the Pureblood blinking down at
him in surprise. Remus pulled him to lock lips, his fingers trailing along his
inner thigh, making Sirius whimper.
“I want you,” Sirius whispered.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Just…gently this time?”
“Of course, sweetheart.” He grabbed the bottle of oil someone had left on the
bedside table and coated his fingers, getting the viscous fluid all over them
and the sheets. It smelled of lemons. “I will never hurt you again, I promise.
Just trust me?”
“I trust you, I’m just a little nervous,” Sirius assured.
Remus kissed him as his fingers found their way to the right spot, and he felt
Sirius tense slightly as he touched him before relaxing to let Remus prepare
him. The feel of the oil was different than the gel-like lube they usually
used. It was thinner but more slick somehow. Remus couldn’t help but notice the
difference. He slowly slipped one, then two fingers into the tight heat,
spreading as much oil as he could inside his mate. He faltered slightly when he
felt the new part of Sirius: the gash where Remus had torn him. Guilt tugged at
him again, but a moan as Remus brushed against Sirius’ prostate brought him
back to the task at hand. More fingers, more oil, until Remus was sure Sirius
could get no looser.
Soon enough, Sirius was writhing on Remus’ fingers, leaning back to balance
himself on Remus’ knees, his head thrown back in pleasured abandon.
“Please, Remus, please!” he begged in breathless gasps as the werewolf massaged
his sweet spot.
Remus removed his fingers and grabbed the bottle of oil again. He was already
coated in the stuff but he was now terrified that Sirius would regret letting
him touch him again. He poured a mess of oil over his thick shaft and threw the
empty bottle away, barely hearing the glass smash. He heard Sirius sigh in
relief as he positioned himself, gripping the slim hips, waiting for Sirius to
begin sinking down upon him. It took Sirius longer than usual, the Animagus
still nervous, and then he was still, held in the cradle of Remus’ hips.
“Don’t move, Remus, please,” Sirius moaned. “I just need to…”
What Sirius just needed to was cut off as his ankle slipped on the oil-soaked
sheet beneath it, causing Remus to shift inside him, brushing against his inner
walls in interesting ways. His mouth fell open in a silent scream of pleasure.
He began to move, grinding himself on Remus, his eyes trained on the ceiling.
Soon he began to raise and lower himself, tentatively at first and then harder
as the expected pain refused to materialize.
Faster he moved, Remus gripping tighter and tighter on the slim hips, until
they were unable to find where one ended and the other began. They spiraled
higher and higher, neither knowing just how long he or the other could last but
knowing it had to end somewhere. And they did want it to end. Or did they? The
pleasure was so intense it had to end, something burning that hot couldn’t
possibly last. But they didn’t want it to end, so caught up in the intense
pleasure that they couldn’t stop themselves.
Eventually all that heat and need condensed down, coiled in the pit of their
bellies, closer and closer, until it exploded in a rush of liquid heat.
When they both regained some sense of themselves, Sirius sat up from where he
had collapsed onto Remus’ chest and raised himself a little so Remus slipped
from him in a rush of oil and ejaculate. He flopped down beside his lover and
curled up, his head on Remus’ chest. Remus’ arms came around him, his fingers
combing through Sirius’ black hair.
They lay together in silence and watched the sun rise.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Anne grinned as her boys walked through the door, first Remus, then Sirius and
then John bringing up the rear. She hugged Remus tightly, looking him over to
make sure he was healthy and well, before she raised her eyebrows in question.
As Remus nodded, she let him go and pulled Sirius into a hug that could crush
bone, the Pureblood hugging her back just as tightly.
“Come on, let me look at you both,” she demanded, looking them both over.
“Well, neither of you look like there’s any lasting damage.”
“Annie, they’re fine,” John said as he dragged in the last trunk. “I did do the
whole concerned parent thing when I met them at the station.”
“My son had surgery, I’m allowed to be concerned,” Anne insisted.
Anne and John hadn’t been allowed to visit Remus while he was recovering,
Dumbledore and Pomfrey had been exceedingly worried about letting anyone but
Sirius near him. And then they had been unable to visit during the Easter break
as John had managed to contract pneumonia and ordered to bed by the doctors and
healers.
“I’m fine, mum, I promise,” Remus reassured as he pulled off his coat.
They all sat around the kitchen table, drinking tea and eating sandwiches.
Remus and Sirius glanced at each other. Anne obviously wanted to say something
and was uncomfortable doing so. They looked at John and saw he was bright red.
“Anne, whatever it is you want to say, please, don’t feel embarrassed, just
come out and say it,” Sirius said.
“We got McGonagall’s letter…about the two of you…about…what happened over
Christmas,” she said and the teenage werewolf stiffened, the tips of Sirius’
ears going red.
“Oh. That,” Sirius said.
“Yes, that,” John replied. “Look, we don’t want to pry, boys, really we don’t.
We just want to be sure things are all okay. Obviously the two of you aren’t
children anymore. So some things will have to change.”
“What do you mean?” Remus questioned worriedly. “Are you saying you want us
to…”
“No!” Anne cried. “No, Remus, we don’t want you to leave or be reserved with
each other or anything of the sort. What we’re saying is that the two of you
will have to remember silencing charms and to close doors and things like
that.”
“Oh.”
“We understand that doing…that is a normal part of your relationship,” John
said. He had surpassed red and become practically purple but his voice was
steady. “But me and your mum don’t want to hear you. Or see it. Just…a little
discretion. Okay, boys?”
“Okay,” Sirius said. “It’s not so different than at school. We’ll keep it
contained, sort of.”
“And safe,” Anne interjected. “I have no desires to be a grandmother yet. You
will be careful, won’t you?”
“Absolutely. We’ve got the Daily Potion, and we know the Charm. We’re careful,
mum, I swear. You don’t need to worry about that,” Remus said firmly.
“Right,” John said. “Good. Now that that’s out of the way, me and your mum have
been decorating your room while you were away. Nothing too drastic, just a lick
of paint.”
“Oh,” Remus said. “You didn’t have to.”
“Remus, you were too old for bunnies. It was time to decorate. Why don’t the
two of you go up and take a look. If you don’t like it, we can always change
it. And you can unpack while you’re up there.”
The two Gryffindor’s made their way up, dragging their trunks behind them, and
Remus tentatively opened the door to their bedroom.
When they had left the walls had still sported the bunny rabbit and cloud
wallpaper Remus had had since he was a small boy, and the floor had the green
carpet his parents had chosen before he was even born. There had been two
single beds, a wardrobe, a chest of drawers and a mass of shelves full of
Remus’ impressive collection of books.
Now the walls were a light calm powdery blue, the carpet a deep lush red. The
two single beds had been replaced with a king size divan bed, covered in a deep
blood red duvet set with masses of cushions and pillows. There were two bedside
tables, and a small loveseat at the end of the bed. There was a large wardrobe
unit with integrated drawers and shelves, and in the corner that had once held
Remus’ toy box sat two squashy armchairs, the walls of that corner covered with
shelves from floor to ceiling, books meticulously arranged by author.
“What do you think?” John asked as he came up behind the two of them. “Your mum
put a permanent One-Way Silencing Charm on it, so when the door’s closed you
can hear if someone’s knocking but we can’t hear you.”
“It’s…perfect,” Remus breathed.
“Good. I’d hate to see what your mum’d do if it wasn’t.”
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Sirius stirred the beans on the stove, enjoying the peace of the house around
him. Anne and John were both at work, not to return until at least six this
evening, and Remus was still sleeping. Sirius had left him curled around a
pillow while he made breakfast, which he planned for them to eat in bed.
They were halfway through the summer holidays and Sirius couldn’t believe how
relaxed he felt.
“I missed you,” came a voice, making him jump. He looked over his shoulder to
find Remus descending the last couple of stairs, his pyjama bottoms riding low
on his hips, his chest bare.
“I was coming back,” Sirius said, reaching for the toast as it popped up in the
toaster, a machine he loved. “I was going to bring you breakfast in bed.”
Remus moulded himself to Sirius’ back, his lips finding the join between neck
and shoulder, making Sirius shiver.
“Take it off the heat,” Remus whispered, his tongue darting out to capture the
lobe, pulling it between his teeth.
Sirius obeyed without question, shoving the saucepan off the hob and fumbling
for the dial, turning off the stove as Remus’ tongue darted out to taste the
skin behind his ear. Remus slid his hands up from hips to chest, pulling his
lover away from the counter and pushing him towards the table.
Sirius reached out blindly, the fruit bowl and that mornings post going flying
as Remus pulled at his nipples. He lowered his torso, his chest flat against
the wood as Remus let his lips trail along his spine. Sirius moaned in
anticipation as Remus shoved down both of their pyjama bottoms, the werewolf
letting his hand cup the roundness of Sirius’ buttocks. Sirius cried out as
Remus’ fingers slipped between his thighs, tickling the back of his balls.
“Please,” Sirius breathed. “Please, Remus. Do something, anything, please!”
Remus smirked. It was taking less and less to get Sirius to his neediest point,
where he would take the most pleasure from his touch. Remus knew his lover had
been trying to hide the nightmares from him, thoughts of his family and
childhood playing heavily on Sirius’ mind. He needed Sirius to believe in his
love, his trust, his all-consuming devotion. He let his fingers slip between
the full cheeks, easing them into the tight welcoming heat.
Sirius was still slick and open from their coupling in the small hours of this
morning. He straightened, guiding himself into the slick channel with a hiss.
He heard, through his own pleasure infused blindness, his lovers head hit the
table with the thud. After a moment he began to thrust into the younger man,
reaching out the lace their fingers, his weight pushing Sirius into the table,
making it feel that much closer.
“Oh! Remus!” Sirius cried as Remus shifted within him, brushing his pleasure
point with practiced accuracy. He was too caught up in the overwhelming
sensations that he couldn’t even push back to get more, all he could do was
remain there and let Remus take complete control of his body. The unforgiving
wood beneath him, the hot weight of Remus on his back, the unrelenting movement
of that thick hard shaft within him. It was good, too good, he could feel
himself tightening, spiraling higher, until Remus released one of his hands to
reach beneath him, cupping his balls, pressing into the skin behind them while
still thrusting into him.
It was a new trick the werewolf had learned, something he had, funnily enough,
found in a book. He had found that the pressure from outside, made by his
fingers, stimulated Sirius’ prostate, while his penis, deep within him, rubbed
against it over and over again. It took a certain position, and dexterity, to
caress him two ways, but it was worth it when Sirius jerked uncontrollably,
clamping down on him and screaming. Remus clapped his other hand over Sirius’
mouth to muffle the shrieks of pleasure, using his grip to tilt his head so he
could bury his face in the sweet curve of his neck. He pounded into Sirius,
using Sirius’ loss of senses to use his body more roughly than he probably
should to reach his own release.
Sirius regained himself to feel Remus fucking him so roughly the table was
sliding against the floor with a screech. Incredibly he felt himself growing
hard again. Damn, he had never hardened again this quickly after an orgasm.
“Remus,” he gasped. “Oh yes, take me! Harder, Remus, don’t stop.”
Remus froze mid-thrust at the unexpected cries. “What?”
“What the fuck are you doing?” Sirius half-screamed. “I said not to stop, I
said harder!”
“You…you like this?”
“What’s not to like?”
“I didn’t think you liked it this rough.”
“Well, neither did I. But,” he reached out and grabbed Remus’ hand, shoving it
against his rock hard cock. “I really do, so don’t stop.”
Remus curved over him to take his lips in a wild kiss before arranging Sirius
as he wanted him; hands gripping the opposite edge of the table, legs a little
further apart. He gripped the slim hips and rested his forehead against Sirius’
shoulder before beginning to thrust once more, far more confident than before.
He pounded into the pliant body, snapping his hips, slamming himself in to the
tight heat again and again until he was almost mindless with the pleasure.
Sirius was gasping beneath him, an almost constant moan pouring from his mouth.
Remus wound his forearm around his lovers hips, holding him still as he fucked
him roughly. He grit his teeth, his other hand winding around to grip his
lovers inner thigh. He was truly a beast, more in that moment than he had ever
been before, and he knew nothing short of an act of divine intervention could
stop him now. His whole being condensed down into the oncoming rush of long
sought release, until all he knew was the pleasure coursing through his body,
pouring from his cock to fill his beloved as he collapsed across his back.
Sirius couldn’t believe it. He never would have guessed that he would be one to
get off by being used like this, and that’s what it was. Remus had used his
body to find his own pleasure. Granted, Sirius had given him permission to do
so, but still…
Apparently, his psyche had been craving it all along, as he had come for a
second time without even being touched.
“Still with me?” Remus murmured in his ear after a while.
“Always.”
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Remus ducked the snowball thrown at him, coming up and retaliating with one of
his own, which hit James in the face.
“Oi! Not fair, Moony,” he yelled, shaking it off and Sirius laughed at him.
“You wanted him to play,” Sirius called, laughing as he ducked the loose
handful of snow thrown at him.
“Hey, let’s take a picture,” Remus called. “For my mum.”
They all gathered around by the frozen lake, James holding Lily close, Sirius
nuzzling into his neck, while Peter snapped a few photographs.
“Your nose is cold,” Remus said, turning and kissing his lover, smiling into
it. He entwined their fingers and hummed. “Sirius! Your hands are freezing!”
“I forgot my gloves,” he admitted, nosing at the soft skin behind Remus’ ear,
backing him into a secluded spot amongst the trees at the edge of the lake.
“Warm me up,” he murmured, leaning against one of the trees.
Remus smiled and crowded in close, warming his body with his own, slipping a
thigh between Sirius’ own.
“Oi! You two can do that later!” James bellowed, followed by an ‘oof!’ and then
he and Lily bickering. Sirius wondered where she had hit him this time.
Sirius rested his forehead against Remus’ shoulder, reaching down to push away
the thigh.
“Later,” Remus promised. “I’ll make you scream for me.”
“You’re not even challenging yourself now,” Sirius said.
“But I like it when you scream,” Remus said practically, taking his hand and
leading him back to their friends, who were shivering and rubbing their cold
hands together.
Lily suggested they go down to the kitchens and get some hot chocolate and it
was the beat idea they had ever heard. They made their way inside and James
tickled the pear.
The house elves were all too happy to ply them with hot chocolate and
marshmallows and warmed squares of gooey brownie with whipped cream.
“Did you hear what Snivellus said in Potions the other day?” James said and
Remus groaned, Lily rolling her eyes.
“Can’t you two lay off each other? Just for a little while?” Remus questioned.
“It can’t be healthy, all this anger.”
“Maybe you should become a Buddhist, Moony,” James said with a smirk. “Being
all peace loving pacifist…don’t you get tired up there on that high horse of
yours?”
“It’s not a high horse, it’s looking for a quiet life. Is that too much to ask
for?”
“I think with Peter around destroying things in class, yes, it might just be
too much to ask for.”
“Hey!” Peter protested.
“Oh, shut up,” James said dismissively. “You did send Flitwick to the hospital
wing last lesson.”
“It was an accident!”
“Sirius, darling, would you like to weigh in and…”
Remus looked down at Sirius, who was down on one knee, a mug of hot chocolate
in his hands. There was a ring of white gold balanced on top of the thick
whipped cream, diamonds embedded into the engraved stars.
“What are you doing?” he whispered and Sirius smiled at him.
“I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, topaz,
Or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
In secret, between the shadow and the soul.
“I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries,
Hidden within itself, the light of those flowers,
And thanks to your love, darkly in my body,
Lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without complexities or pride:
I love you because I know no other way than this,
So close that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
So close that when you close your eyes, I fall asleep.”
Remus could feel tears welling up, slipping over his lashes and down his cheek,
and then he had to chuckle. The ring had begun to sink and Sirius shot to his
feet, placing the mug on the table they were sitting at and using a spoon to
rescue the precious band. He stuck it in his mouth and sucked it clean before
accepting the damp cloth one of the elves passed him and wiping it off.
“Okay, that didn’t go the way I planned. I know I’m not that good with words,”
Sirius said. “But I love you. I love you more than anything else ever, and I
want to be with you forever. So I figure that this is the way to get that, to
bind us together in every way possible.” He took a deep breath and sank back
down to one knee, holding out the ring. “Remus John Lupin, you are the most
amazing man I’ve ever known, and I feel so blessed to be the one you’ve chosen
to be with. I want to be with you every single day of forever, so will you
grant me the extraordinary privilege of letting me be your husband?”
Remus covered his face with his hands, wiping away his tears. For so long he
had imagined that he would be alone, and then he had made friends. And then
came Sirius, this incredible person that his wolf had decided was the one for
them. Biology had taken over, and Remus was okay with that, he accepted it as a
part of being what he was.
And then Sirius had to go and surprise him all over again.
He knew Sirius loved him, just as much as he loved Sirius. Through biology and
by choice, they were together, nothing could change that. And now the whole
world would know it.
“Hey,” Sirius murmured, cuddling him close and kissing his temple. “It’s okay,
honey, it’s okay. We don’t have to get married if you don’t want to. I’ll still
be yours even if you say no.”
Remus pulled back and crashed their mouths together, nodding as they kissed,
and he felt Sirius smile at him.
“Is that a yes?” Sirius asked as he pulled back, cupping Remus’ cheek and
forcing him to look at him.
Remus nodded, half laughing and half crying, his fingers wrapping around the
neck of Sirius’ jumper, yanking him in to kiss him again.
Sirius slipped the ring onto his left ring finger, and their friends exploded
in cheers, but they didn’t hear anything.
All they knew was each other, and that’s the way it should be.
Always and forever.
Chapter End Notes
     Finally, I managed to update this one.
     Comment below, let me know what you think.
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