Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/550573.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural_RPF
  Relationship:
      Jensen_Ackles/Jared_Padalecki
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-09-22 Words: 6902
****** The Role ******
by spiders_stars
Summary
     It was a role Jared never thought he would take, a character he
     didn’t think he could play. But Jensen turned out to be a temptation
     he couldn’t resist.
     Important Author's Note: There is suggested non-con but it is acting,
     for a scene in a moving, and there is no penetration.
How this script even came to be in front of him, Jared wasn't sure. It wasn't a
role he'd normally take. Hell, before now if someone had asked he would have
insisted it wasn’t a role his name would have even been brought up for. Jared
might not be Will Smith or Tom Cruise but he was starting to climb his way up
the list and he'd even been cast a few times lately without having to audition
so he wasn't entirely sure why garbage like this was still being presented to
him.
Okay, to be fair, it wasn't entirely garbage. The story was actually kind of
interesting in a dark and gritty sort of way. A curious man getting tangled up
in a dark game, the kind of mystery and suspense Jared had always enjoyed. It
certainly wasn't a rom-com which was great, Jared had been looking to break out
of that mold.
And then he'd gotten about two-thirds into the script and everything had kind
of screeched to a halt. Because Jared could handle acting with kids, he'd done
it loads before, but he'd never even heard of a movie suggesting something like
this.
"Is this even legal?" Jared looked up from the script and over at his agent,
sinking back on the large couch that took up a corner of the man's office. Lee
looked up from the papers he'd been pursuing - obviously another important
contract - and pursed his lips in confusion. "You didn't even read it, did
you?"
"Well, no. Not exactly. Just passed it along when I was told they asked for you
specifically." Lee shrugged and gave Jared one of those classic Hollywood
smiles, all charm and buttering up, like he'd offer to bow at Jared's feet if
needed.
It was another way Jared knew he was coming up in the world.
"This character - the one they'd want me playing - rapes a twelve year old boy.
And I'm not talking about in the past, a vague and distant memory. It's a full
blown scene, in graphic fucking detail. I don't even think this movie can be
legally made and who the hell thinks I would be the perfect fit?" Honestly,
Jared was a little offended by the implication. He didn't give off the rapes
little boys in his free time vibe did he?
Lee blanched at that, like he'd been the one to suggest Jared for the role
though they both knew that wasn't the case. For the most part Lee was a good
agent but sometimes he took things a little too personally - like that time
when Jared randomly decided he needed a vacation and Lee had reacted like a
scorned lover being replaced by a newer, prettier model.
The idea of being with Lee in any physical way made Jared feel a little queasy.
"I'm sorry Jared, I had no idea what the movie was about, I just thought you'd
be glad that they were asking for you. Do you remember Wilson Jacobs? You
worked with him on Midnight Things? Well he's directing this one and um,
thought you'd be interested. Something about the cast..." Lee trailed off as he
began lifting papers, apparently searching for the cast list that was supposed
to make this movie appealing.
With a flush Jared ducked his head and nodded. He remembered Wilson Jacobs and
too many beers late one night in his trailer as they contemplated how stupid
Midnight Things was - another of those Hollywood bandwagon vampire movies. Then
the conversation had turned to other attractive actors/actresses and who Jared
would be most inclined to fuck - no matter their age or status or affiliation.
"Ah yes, here it is. He's put a star next to Jensen Ackles’ name. Oh, I guess
he must be playing the uh, the twelve year-old. I wonder what made him think
that would..." Lee shifted uncomfortably, reaching for the phone. "Why don't I
just give him a call and explain you've got scheduling conflicts? No reason to
burn any bridges."
"You know, don't worry about it, I'll give Wilson a call." Jared shrugged and
flipped the script closed, curling it up between his grasp.
Five or six beers into their conversation Jared had been relaxed, loose from
laughing so much, and he'd let it slip that he'd watched A Home Out There with
that cute little Ackles kid in it. He'd gone on a little rant about how the boy
had all these freckles and that bright grin and those shiny glass-green eyes
and it wasn't until he'd trailed off awkwardly describing those tiny little bow
legs that he'd realized how much he was sounding like a creepy pedophile.
Wilson had considered him with a smirk and drawn brows and Jared had thrown a
pillow at his head and sworn him to secrecy.
And now this.
God damn Wilson.
~~
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
No, Jared really wasn't sure. But somehow he'd been convinced - it had
obviously been an evil plot and had nothing at all to do with that little
Ackles boy - and here Jared was. Adam, his assistant, was looking around the
set with drawn brows and Jared didn't really blame him. The dirty warehouse
hardly looked like somewhere a movie could be filmed.
"I've already agreed," Jared muttered and lifted his shoulders in a shrug. He
wanted to say he’d stayed humble, that he hadn't bought into the Hollywood high
life, but the broken glass crunching beneath his shoes made his face scrunch
up.
"It's not like you'd be the first celebrity to back out of a movie." Adam
hitched the bag further up his shoulder and pushed his sunglasses up to the top
of his head, looking around with clear disdain.
Adam was one of those stereotypical gays, complete with tight white jeans, a
bright pink and blue collared shirt, pink polka dot bow tie, and perfectly
manicured nails. This was definitely not the type of place he would ever be
caught dead in and Jared smirked despite his own unease about the warehouse.
Annoying Adam was one of his favorite passtimes.
"Let's just go find Wilson. He said he'd be around here all day." Jared's pulse
picked up just a little but he refused to acknowledge it. It wasn't like his
little co-star was even likely to be there, not that it mattered. Yeah, it
definitely didn't matter.
Adam sighed heavily but trailed obediently after Jared. When it came down to
it, Adam was a good assistant and a good friend. Jared didn't really go
anywhere without him - even on vacation, though he'd protested that one - and
it was mostly better that way.
"Oh, thank god," Adam exhaled in quick relief as they stepped out of the back
of the warehouse and spotted several trailers. "One of those better be ours."
"You mean mine, right?" Jared arched his brows and glanced down at the man and
snorted a laugh, shaking his head and leading the way toward the trailers.
The second one over said Jared Padalecki and Adam disappeared quickly inside
with a grumble. Jared blinked that way for a moment then laughed, shaking his
head and heading back down the path to the director's trailer - or at least,
what he hoped was the director's trailer. There were a few people milling about
but it wasn't at all like any movie set he'd been on before.
"Wilson?" Jared tapped on the door and pushed it open, climbing up the stairs
with his head ducked down.
"Oh Jared, there you are!" Wilson called out excitedly, clambering around the
table and pulling Jared into a hug that was a little too friendly for their
borderline friendship.
"Hey, Wilson. How's it going?" Jared returned the hug because he was a good
person like that and maybe because he had a bit of a reputation for being a
touchy-feely guy.
There was a soft cough behind them and Jared pulled back and turned, eyes
widening for just a moment as they fixed on the boy standing there, watching
them. On his TV, Jensen Ackles had been adorable with his bright green eyes and
freckle-covered cheeks. As it turned out, in person, Jensen Ackles was
absolutely breathtaking, not at all like any twelve year-old boy should be.
"Oh, hello," Jared murmured and rubbed his palm instinctively on his thigh,
stepping forward, hesitating then holding out his hand. Part of him felt like
stooping down just so Jensen didn't have to look so far up to see him but it
felt oddly demeaning. "I'm Jared."
"I know. It's really nice to meet you." Jensen smiled brightly up at him,
stepping forward as well and sliding his palm into Jared's.
The size difference was a little shocking and Jared's mind flashed to the
script out of his control.
The Man hides in the dark as The Boy enters. Lunges from his hiding spot to
snatch the boy up. Slams him up against the wall hard enough that The Boy cries
out.
"It's nice to meet you, too," Jared managed to find his voice before the
silence could linger too long and he dropped Jensen's hand, stepping back and
looking back at Wilson. It was a little too overwhelming to look at Jensen
right then, for so many reasons. "So Wilson, how are things going to play out?
Are we doing a cast read-through? Producer pitches? An entire script re-write?"
Wilson laughed and shook his head, guiding Jared over to the couch and dropping
down. The man went off on a little rant about why the script was amazing even
with its darkness, how it would be mostly independently funded, how the
backlash would be worth it even when it came like they both knew it would.
Jared mostly listened - he had somehow already been sold on the project and it
was branching out genre-wise - but he couldn't help noting the way Jensen was
left out of the conversation.
It didn't surprise Jared; directors and a lot of stars tended to write kid
performers off, hell usually they had some sort of representative around for
these types of discussions. Jensen seemed to intently be listening though,
nodding at the things Wilson was saying like he understood all that budget and
controversy nonsense.
"So since we're not exactly rolling in the money here and are still struggling
with production backing, the filming is going to be a little disjointed. Jared,
you'll likely be on set nearly every day, we're gonna try and whip through
everything, but someone like say, Jensen, really only has about a week or two
total film time."
Wilson's cell phone rang which Jared was more than a little thankful for. He'd
forgotten how much the man could ramble if given the opportunity. Wilson held
up his finger, answering the phone and pushing up to his feet.
Jared watched the man leave, wetting his lips around the sudden burn of heat
that rose up in him. Alone with Jensen. Okay. Jared was a goddamn celebrity, he
could definitely handle this.
"I'm so thrilled you agreed to the project," Jensen said in a rush, beaming
when Jared turned back to him. "I know it won't exactly be a summer blockbuster
and you're maybe a little bit better than it, but for what it's worth I think
you'll do an excellent job."
People complimented Jared a lot - though he figured most of it was the standard
fake shit - and normally it didn't affect him. This time though he felt the
heat of a blush and he ducked his head down, smiling down at the dark grey
carpet and shrugging. "Wilson is a... friend of mine. And the script is very...
different. Interesting. Felt a little like pushing my limits."
"My mom didn't really want me to take it. Said it was too grown up. But I'm
like you." Jensen's smile dimmed as he seemed to realize what he'd said and he
ducked his head down, blushing brightly. "I mean, felt like pushing my limits
and all. I can only do so many family feel good movies before it gets old, you
know?"
Jared laughed softly and found himself sinking easily into the conversation. It
wasn't much like talking to a kid. Jared had worked with a few child actors in
the past; usually when they weren't in front of the camera they were running
around the set like wild animals. Jensen's clothes were clean, his hair spiked
casually, and his eyes bright with excitement like this conversation was one of
the best he'd ever had.
"I get you. I've done about enough rom-coms to make me ill." Jared shrugged and
rubbed his palms against his thighs. "So why are you here? I mean, Wilson said
you won't be filming all the time, why hang around the set?"
A shy smile grew on Jensen's lips and he curled his arms across his chest. "I
thought it would be better if I came every day. It would make it easier to
film... you know, that one scene. Especially if we got to know each other and
all, as long as that's okay."
The kid was smart, Jared would definitely give him that. Smart, sweet,
adorable.And fucking twelve years old, Jared, get a hold of yourself.
"Yeah, that would be okay. We should get to know each other." Jared smiled and
pushed up to his feet, shaking off the lingering thoughts he really shouldn't
be having. "Come on, you can show me around the set."
Jensen was practically beaming once more and Jared's heart twisted in the
strangest way he refused to address.
~~
"So tell me about this role, honey."
There was no one quite like Jared's mom. She was always supportive, no matter
how shitty a movie Jared made, and he knew when it came down to it she'd be the
same this time. But the idea of explaining his character's complexities and the
little things - read: raping a twelve year old boy - made him shift
uncomfortably.
"Well, it's a bit of an indie piece. A little on the dark side. Or um, really
on the dark side. Very different from anything I've ever done." Across the room
Adam snorted and Jared glared at him for a beat before turning away. "I don't
think it'll really be your type of movie. You probably won't even see it."
"Oh Jared, you know I love everything you're in. Of course I'll see it," she
laughed softly and Jared couldn't help the small smile.
It was sweet, hearing his mom's never-failing support, but he had a feeling he
would go out of his way to make sure the woman never did see this particular
movie. There really were just some ways he never wanted his mom to see him.
"So did I tell you about Megan's boyfriend? He's such a gentleman, a real
keeper, we really want you to meet him..."
Jared tuned the woman out - not because he didn't love talking to her but Megan
went through boyfriends like tissues so a real keeper didn't sound too
promising - and twisted around at the knock on his trailer door. Adam opened it
and Jared's heart sped up just a little at the bright smile on the man's face.
So far there was only one person on set that seemed to make Adam smile like
that.
Sure enough, a minute later Adam was stepping back and Jensen was climbing the
steps, lifting his hand to give Jared a small wave and a shy smile. Jared
returned the wave with half of one of his own and shifted back.
"Hey, mom? Sorry to interrupt but my co-star just stopped by, I think we're
going to go over a few scenes, can I call you back?" Jared settled back on the
couch, trying to ignore the little rise of heat in him.
It shouldn't matter that Jensen was here. It shouldn't matter at all.
"Oh sure, honey, of course. Say hi to Adam for me, alright? I'll talk to you
later and I love you."
"I love you, too," Jared murmured then pulled his phone back and disconnecting
the line. When he turned back to face Jensen the boy was watching him - though
he didn't miss how he quickly ducked his head and rubbed at the blush on his
cheeks. "How's it going, Jen?"
"Okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your call with your mom." Jensen slid
a step forward then swayed in spot, slipping his fingers into his pockets.
Adam laughed and squeezed Jensen's shoulder. "Jay calls his mom nearly every
day, no need to fret little doll. I'm off into town to get some snacks, you
want anything?"
"No, thank you." Jensen smiled brightly up at Adam, watching as the man
shrugged and bounced down the steps and out of the trailer.
Jared enjoyed spending time with Jensen, the boy was a real sweetheart, but
somehow he kept finding himself alone with him. It shouldn't have been a big
deal - it wasn't, no one else batted an eye over it - but Jared could already
feel his palms starting to sweat. Yeah, he was clearly the grown man here.
"Wanna sit?"
"Sure. Do you really talk to your mom every day?" Jensen asked curiously,
finally walking across the trailer and sinking down on the couch. He wasn't
sitting right next to Jared but he wasn't as far as he could be - Jared wasn't
sure what to make of that.
"For the most part, yeah." Jared nodded and pushed up to his feet, heading over
to the fridge and tugging it open. "Soda?"
"Just water, thank you." Jensen was such a polite kid, Jared was pretty sure he
had never been that polite as he was growing up. "So what do you talk about?"
Jared frowned, hesitating with his hand extended out into the fridge. "Excuse
me?"
"With your mom. I mean, I can't imagine having a full conversation every day
with my mom..." Jensen trailed off and there was something so sad about the
boy's tone it made Jared's heart hurt a little.
Or, a lot. Which could have been why he changed direction and snagged a can of
soda instead of the bottle of water. He grabbed one for himself and turned to
head back for the couch. Jensen looked skeptically at the can of Coke and Jared
smirked as he rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, live a little. How often do you
drink carbonated beverages?"
"Hardly ever..." Jensen wet his lips then finally reached out, snagging the can
and popping it quickly open. He took a few long drinks, downing the liquid like
he was so thirsty it hurt.
Finally Jared reached out and laid his hand over Jensen's. "Hey, it's okay, I'm
not gonna suddenly take it away or anything, take your time."
"Oh right. Sorry. I just..." Jensen shrugged and took a much smaller sip of the
soda then set it carefully on the coffee table. "So can I ask? What you guys
talk about?"
"Why so curious about that? You must have plenty of conversations with your
mom." Jared was actually a little surprised he hadn't seen Jensen's mom on set
like the parents of most child stars. Sure Jensen hadn't done any filming yet,
but still.
Jensen's shoulders lifted in a small shrug, his head ducked down though Jared
could see the blush rising on his cheeks. "My mom is glad I'm an actor, at
least I'm pretty sure. She really enjoys the publicity side of things, she's
even working on a book all about what it takes to be a truly supportive mother
to a child raised in front of the camera. I just think... maybe sometimes she
forgets that I'm more than a Hollywood darling."
It hadn't occurred to Jared that Jensen might already be a little jaded by the
whole Hollywood aspect to acting. Actually Jared had kind of been hoping Jensen
hadn't been exposed to that stuff too much. "So you don't get to talk to your
mom all that much?"
"We do. A lot, actually. But mostly it's about business stuff. Like a script
she's received. Or an interview she thinks I should do. Or making sure I'm
working on my schooling. I guess I get lonely. It's not really easy to make
friends when you're the kid on every set." Jensen looked up toward Jared with a
soft smile and another shrug.
And all at once the way Jared saw this beautiful little boy completely changed.
He knew first hand just how lonely it could be when you were stuck in the
public eye all the time, but he had his select group of friends and he knew how
to find his privacy. As a kid - no matter how amazing this particular kid was -
getting anyone to take you seriously was already hard.
Poor Jensen. Jared didn't know how he could possibly be so strong.
"Why keep doing it?" Jared finally asked and he couldn't resist sitting back
and shifting just a little closer, settling his hand on the boy's knee. "Why
keep acting? You could leave the biz for a while, go to school, make friends
and have a normal life. Then you could come back if you wanted to, or maybe do
something else entirely. Talent like yours doesn't just go away."
It was a little breathtaking, watching the sadness fade just slightly from the
boy's face as his smile grew and his cheeks turned red. He was pleased by
Jared's comment, which was probably one of the best things ever. "I love this,
acting. The loneliness sucks but every other part of it, the characters and the
stories, I just love becoming someone. Don't you love it?"
"I do. Very much." Jared found his arm sliding around the boy's shoulder before
he could stop himself. "You know, you're something special, Jen. And I would
love to be your friend."
"Yeah? Maybe we could even stay in touch after we wrap?" Jensen sank slowly
against Jared's side and heat burned through him in the best and probably worst
way.
Jared should give a vague answer, detach himself, stop his thoughts from
continuing down this path but he just tugged Jensen a little closer instead.
"Yeah I think that would be pretty cool. You can be that friend of mine that
keeps me young."
The laugh Jensen released as he settled his head on Jared's shoulder made the
little burn of guilt completely worth it.
~~
The character Jared was cast to play was pretty average. You never learn his
name which was part of the deeper meaning. He has a decent job, a decent home,
and probably a pretty decent social life until he suddenly finds himself an
unknowing pawn in a really fucked up game that he has no control over at all.
Something precious was taken from him - you never learn what that was either,
another deeper message. You just watch as he fights to survive and claim back
what was his to begin with. And mostly Jared got it, that stupid deeper message
thing, about how violence could touch any seemingly random person and what
lengths they'd go to, to protect what was rightfully theirs, something they
clearly cared deeply for.
It was one of those indie films Jared would usually hmm and ahhh over like all
the other Hollywood elite, because that was just the thing you did when you
were in the biz. He'd gush over the amazing unspoken theme and pretend like it
wasn't driving him fucking insane not knowing what the stupid guy was fighting
so hard for. Only he couldn't seem to stop thinking about that scene.
Yeah, that scene.
They were still a few days off from filming that though and currently Jared was
watching Jensen film one of his very few solo scenes. In truth, Jensen would
likely be in only about twenty or so minutes of the movie but Wilson liked to
have extra footage to nitpick his way through on the cutting room floor.
Like Jared's unnamed character, Jensen's was a real mystery. The first time you
saw the boy on screen he was walking along a back alley, kicking some rocks,
the picture of innocence. It was a path the boy obviously took a lot and the
unknown makers of the horrible game Jared was stuck in knew this very thing.
So as Jensen crossed through the warehouse the first time, Jared was there and
watching. Jensen and he didn't speak but the boy was supposed to sing as he
walked and that was the scene Wilson was currently setting up for.
This very warehouse would be the place where that scene was played out. Jared's
palms felt a little damp just thinking about it.
"Okay Jensen, you ready?" Wilson called out once he was sure the angle was
indie enough.
Hell, Jared never really understood the artistic difference. But maybe that
just came from too many rom-coms.
"Yup." Jensen bounced on his toes and grinned over at Jared before shaking out
his entire body and settling into his character.
A few days ago Jensen had told Jared all about the history he'd created for his
mysterious character. He decided the boy was a loner, kept to himself both at
home and at school, and felt like the world was just on hold until something
major happened to shake everything up. Jared was too afraid to ask Jensen what
happened to the boy after the rape; it was better just not to talk about it
yet.
Now Jensen slid easily into character, impressing Jared more than he'd likely
admit. Jensen was a great actor, no matter his age, and if he'd been written
off before it was likely only because of the movies he was stuck with. You
could only do so many family-feel-good movies after all.
The smile on Jared's face grew as Jensen's soft melodic voice filled the
warehouse. The small crew was silent like they were mesmerized and Jared was
right there with them. Wilson had let Jensen choose whatever song he wanted
both to make Jensen more comfortable with singing on camera and to make it more
realistic. Jared didn't recognize the lullaby but Jensen had no problems
singing it loud and clear, walking from one mark to another and somehow putting
real depth into a character that was literally created simply to get fucked
over.
Two takes later and Wilson decided he was happy with what he had - which
frankly impressed Jared because the man was notoriously picky. Jared shifted
that strange unease from his shoulders as Jensen bounced over to him, bright
grin on his lips once more.
"How'd I do?"
"Perfect. Keep it up and I'll be out of a job." Jared laughed and reached up to
ruffle the kid's hair, laughing even louder when Jensen scowled and ducked out
of the touch.
"Probably the easiest scene I'll film..." Jensen trailed off, climbing up onto
his chair beside Jared.
It was true. And the first time Jared had heard Jensen speak about the scene.
He wondered if Jensen was starting to get as nervous as he was.
~~
In the scene, Jared was supposed to be a little out of control. So far his
character had already tested his sanity in a dark office building as he stole
some invaluable documents, fought to the death with a drug addict behind some
alley, and was running on a deadline he had no control over. This was the last
test, the biggest thing, and somehow Jared's character had reached that limit
where he would and could do anything because he was just that desperate.
So the way Jared shook, hiding in the darkness, it was alright and actually
probably pretty damn good for a perfect take. That was what Jared was going
for, the perfect take on the first try. He didn't think he could handle doing
this over and over and he was pretty sure Jensen felt the same.
Though the boy hadn't really spoken any more about it.
Something clattered across the warehouse floor and Jared crouched down, breath
picking up as he ducked down and prepared himself to reach out and grab. In
that one moment Jared forgot about the cameras and the lights, lost himself in
the character in the way his fingers shook and his heart lurched into
overdrive.
The moment Jensen passed Jared jumped out, pulling the boy up and spinning him
quickly. There was a quick shuffle, a gasped out scream, the rustle-tear of
fabric. The makers of the mysterious game had provided a dirty mattress in the
abandoned warehouse and Jared struggled to carry Jensen over to it.
As the boy was meant to, Jensen fought against him. Sharp screams followed by
soft gasps, fingers digging and scratching along his skin. A soft plea of no
filled the air between them and Jared had to check himself out completely or
he'd never be able to get through this.
Just acting. Not real. Make believe.
"Why are you doing this?" Jensen gasped, crying out when Jared roughly flipped
him onto his stomach and yanked the jeans down. "Please stop. Please don't!"
Air rushed hard through his nose as the pale creamy flesh of Jensen's ass was
revealed and Jared shifted so the camera would catch just an inch. His own hand
fumbled with his crotch, an intense sharp burn rushed through him, and Jared's
elbow pressed hard down on Jensen's shoulder to keep him pinned to the dirty
mattress.
Just a little more. Take him. Need him.
"No!" Jensen hollered and then screamed in just the wrong way. Jared's blood
ran cold even as he grunted and pressed forward, pinning Jensen flat to the
mattress.
He moved like he would in the moment, denim sliding over flesh, and Jensen's
legs kicked out as sobs echoed across the warehouse.
"Cut! Perfect! We got it!" Wilson's cheer was triumphant but not quite loud
enough to drown out the soft cries coming from Jensen.
The buzz of the crew instantly picked up again - just another day on set for
them - but Jared couldn't stop himself from staring at Jensen still pressed
flat against the stained mattress. Jared had already crawled back, done up his
button, and his heart ached as his eyes settled on Jensen's exposed ass.
Out of his control Jared reached out, tugging the denim of Jensen's jeans up.
The boy gasped out and jerked away, fumbling quickly around and straightening
up, wiping quickly at his cheeks.
Jared scanned over the boy and his eyes widened, lingering over the obvious
press at the front of his jeans, the flush on his cheeks, and the way his
shoulders were shaking. "Jen?" He gasped out quietly, reaching out then
hesitating once more. "Need a break?"
"Can we go- can we go somewhere else? Please?" Jensen whispered and stared down
at the ground no matter how much Jared tried to catch his eye.
Jared didn't bother asking. He stood and laid his hand on Jensen's shoulder,
guiding him up and calling over his shoulder. "We're taking lunch."
~~
The moment they were inside his trailer Jensen paced away, stalking over to the
couch and dropping down with a heavy sigh. Jared stared at him for a long
moment before looking toward Adam, whose eyes were wide, shoulders stiff. Adam
knew exactly what they were filming today, he probably hadn't expected to see
Jensen here any time soon after.
"I'll go get lunch for us all, yeah?" The man suggested, thankfully without
being told to get out, and stood quickly.
Jared listened to the trailer door squeak open then slam close before turning
back to flick the lock. His plan was just to give them some privacy, let Jensen
know this was a safe zone, and he didn't even think about how it might come
across until he turned back and found Jensen watching him.
The boy's eyes were red, his cheeks still flushed, and Jared's heart did that
quick lurch-thud thing he'd never been able to control when Jensen was around.
Jared sucked in a slow breath and ran a hand through his hair with a shrug.
"Just thought maybe you'd like some guaranteed privacy."
"You were hard," Jensen whispered and Jared tripped over the frayed carpet.
It was his turn for a flush to crawl up his cheeks and he swallowed thickly as
he crossed to the fridge. Jared had been hard but he hadn't openly acknowledged
it. For some reason he hadn't even realized Jensen would feel that, the
pressing thick heat, right up against his ass.
Oh fuck.
Maybe sending Adam away wasn't the best idea.
"I uh... it was just part of the character, you know? I got lost in that
mindset. Is that why you're... did that freak you out?" God, did that freak
Jensen out? The whole fucking thing was enough to send Jensen into therapy at
the very least.
"It was more intense than I thought it would be. You were so... rough. You
threw me onto that mattress..." Jensen curled in on himself and all Jared's
good intentions about staying away vanished.
Jensen was his friend, they'd gotten to know a lot about each other over the
last few weeks, and Jared couldn't just leave him hurting. So he closed the
fridge without the beer he so desperately wanted and crossed to Jensen,
dropping down beside him. Jared hesitated for just a moment before sliding his
arm over small - still shaking - shoulders. "I know, I'm sorry. We should have
discussed it more before, I should have told you what I was planning on doing
exactly."
"No. I mean, it wouldn't have looked real, if I'd known. I knew that. It's why
I never asked or talked about it." Jensen slowly sank into Jared's side, his
body lifting and falling with a quiet sigh. "I know you're not that man. You
wouldn't ever do anything like that."
"No, of course not. I would never, ever hurt you." Jared held the boy just a
little tighter and instinctively pressed his lips to soft golden hair. It was
so easy to care for Jensen, Jared didn't even marvel over it anymore. "Are you
okay? Are you hurt at all?"
"I don't think so. Maybe a bruise or two but I... I think they're important.
Just to remember." Jensen pulled back a little to look up at Jared, small frown
on his perfect little lips. "I've never done anything like that with anyone."
For a moment Jared felt like teasing the boy - never been fake-raped on camera?
- but there was something behind those bright green eyes that Jared couldn't
ignore any longer. "Sexual things? Or..."
"Any of those things. Kissing or- not that there was kissing. And it scares me,
knowing that there really are people out there that might want to do things
like that to me. In that bad way. But then it also..." Jensen exhaled heavily
and looked back down.
A beat passed then Jared suddenly found himself with a lap full of Jensen, the
boy settling with surprising ease over his thighs. Thin arms curled around his
shoulders and soft lips pressed against his neck. Jared curled his arms
protectively around the boy and stroked slowly down his back, soothing little
touches that eased some of the tension that had been crawling through him since
filming began.
It didn't take all that long to figure out what Jensen was trying to say but
couldn't get out. And Jared had known - he saw the conflicted state of the boy
before they left the warehouse - but it put things into a strange new context
he wasn't prepared for. "You were hard, too."
The words came out like a whisper but Jensen tensed like he was bracing himself
for something bad, for Jared's anger. Slowly, Jensen nodded, and his grip
around Jared's shoulders tightened.
It was bad timing but Jared couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped his
lips. God, he could barely remember being twelve and going through the
beginning stages of puberty but he was pretty sure it had been a damn confusing
time. A scene like this, it had to throw everything out of whack. "Jen, that's
completely normal. Even if it was just acting, even if the scene was...
intense. There's nothing wrong with getting turned on because of it."
"It wasn't because of the scene," Jensen whispered and the lips pressed with
just a little more pressure against Jared's neck. "It was... it was because of
you."
For some reason it had never occurred to Jared that the boy might sometimes
look at him in that way Jared felt himself looking at the boy. That little
twinge of longing that was wrong and dirty and so hard to ignore.
Jared's fingers stroked slowly up Jensen's spine, caressing the skin just
beneath his hairline, over the smooth skin of his neck. Jensen gasped and
rocked forward - out of his control it seemed - and thin fingers curled up into
his hair.
"It's wrong," Jensen breathed but it wasn't a question or a protest really,
more like a line he'd memorized from a script.
"Just us here now, okay? Just you and me and the rest of the world, whatever
they think, they can wait out there. I've got you now." Jared let his cheek
brush against Jensen as he pulled back a little, small smile on his lips.
Some of that fear and unease seemed to be gone from the boy but Jared wanted to
make it all better and this was one thing he could definitely do. Jared could
ignore the sanity, the right, and being there for Jensen really wasn't much of
a challenge.
"I trust you," Jensen whispered then leaned in, brushing their lips together.
Jared kissed him softly, the tender slide of lips and gentle caresses of
tongue. He kept each touch smooth and sweet, using all of his control to keep
from pinning the boy down and taking him. That day might come but not now, not
after they'd just finished that scene.
"Will you touch me? Please? I just need..." Jensen's voice shook, just barely,
as he pulled back from the kiss and Jared knew his mind was still reeling.
Maybe he needed to understand that the sexual things, the physical things,
weren't like that scene. Jared felt compelled with the urge to show Jensen just
how gentle he could be, how much love he could put behind every touch.
So he took his time caressing every inch of the boy above his clothing, their
lips still moving together in slow deep kisses. Before Jensen could ask again
Jared slowly unfastened his jeans, rocking the boy just a little on his thighs
so he could get under the fabric. Jensen was still growing, his body had a lot
of catching up to do with his mind, and Jared tried not to moan when his hand
fit completely around the boy's hard cock.
Jared kissed trailed along Jensen's face, over his freckled cheeks, across his
brow, down his jaw. He stroked over the heat of Jensen's cock and swallowed
another moan when the boy arched forward and tugged hard at his hair. The soft
cries that fell from his lips this time were perfect and not at all fearful,
breathy little pleas for more, yes, Jared.
"You're so beautiful Jensen," Jared whispered and pressed a kiss just beneath
his ear. "It's okay, come for me, I've got you now."
A low moan shook through Jensen, cutting off as the boy pressed a kiss to
Jared's lips and his orgasm raced through him. Jared slowed his strokes and
slicked the hot sticky come between his fingers, sucking in quick breaths to
keep from panting too harshly.
"Should I..." Jensen sat back and wet his lips, looking down and blushing
bright. "Do you want me to um... touch you too? I could do that."
"Not now," Jared murmured, reaching out to snag a tissue and clean his hand
off. When he sat back Jensen was still watching him and he smiled a little
brighter, tucking the boy into his jeans. "Adam will be back soon and... I
think you still need some time. That scene was a lot, it would have been for
anyone. Why don't we just relax for a while?"
"You don't want me to touch you?" Jensen slid off Jared's lap, dropping hard
back onto the couch.
Apparently, Jared still had a lot of work to do to make things right with
Jensen. His arm slid around thin shoulders once more and he tugged Jensen into
his side. "Oh trust me, I really, really do. But right now it's more important
to me that you're okay. Maybe tonight you can come over to my hotel room. Hang
out for a while."
"Yeah?" Jensen beamed up at Jared and tucked into his side. Jared was a little
caught up on his kiss-swollen lips, it was hard not to be. "And stay the
night?"
"As long as you finish your homework." Jared smirked and reclined back on the
couch.
Relaxing with Jensen was easy. Jared knew it probably wouldn't always be that
way but he was willing to take what he could for as long as it was his to have.
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