Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/11946951. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: Other Fandom: Final_Fantasy_VII Relationship: Sephiroth/Vegetables Character: Sephiroth, Innocent_Cucumber, Concerned_Carrot, Hojo_(Compilation_of FFVII), Genesis_Rhapsodos Additional Tags: Masturbation, Curious_Teen, Vegetables, Sephiroth's_ass Collections: The_Loveless_Network Stats: Published: 2017-08-30 Words: 1757 ****** The Lovely Harvest ****** by LeGayWardens Summary Sephiroth is bored and likes to have fun. But with whom? This is a romantic tale of teen love and the struggle to overcome conservative values and prudishness in order to be truly free in one's quest for love, lust and self discovery. Notes I blame Ida. She said Sephiroth, and then vegetables. In a single sentence. I got inspired. This happened. Thanks Arkee for the title inspo, and everyone else on the LOVELESS Discord for some uwu kawaii pet names for the veggies. Sex ed with Hojo was the worst. Crudely drawn vaginas and penises were on the blackboard and Sephiroth couldn't care any less where the clitoris was or that the female sex organ was self-lubricating unlike the rectum. "Penises do not belong there." the scientist stated rather pointedly in Sephiroth's direction. He wasn't entirely sure why. Now 16 - young, hot-blooded and stupid, Sephiroth finally bit the bullet when he got bored at staring up at his ceiling to stroke out an erection and accessed 18+ only content on his laptop. Breasts, vaginas, sexual poses - it was all there. Right on the internet. He heard his fellow soldiers talking about how great women with large bosoms were and how awesome a warm, wet vulva was to put one's mouth to. But with all the naked women in the world making loud high pitched squeaks as penises penetrated their 'pussies' as the internet lovingly referred to their nether regions, he wasn't feeling particularly motivated. If anything, he was going soft... He thought for a moment. Maybe what he really needed was to hit that 'hardcore' tab and really see where things were going. Maybe he needed to see some really nasty stuff to get his blood pumping - yeah, Sephiroth was hardcore. The first video he found was a woman with two fists inside herself - not arousing. The second video was... why is she all tied up like that? Is she going to get interrogated? That doesn't look very fun. Wait...is he...is he urinating on her?! Quickly hitting the X on the tab, Sephiroth braced himself for the third video. Anal Sluts . Anal? he wondered. For all Sephiroth knew, anuses cannot be erotic. Hojo said it so himself. But his own curiosity had taken the helm and he was ready. A busty Wutai woman rubbed what looked to be slime or oil all over a penis before gasping and moaning about how badly she wanted the penis inside of her ass. It all happened so quickly - she was on her hands and knees, her ass cheeks spread apart to reveal her genitals and her asshole. The camera shifted to the head of the leaky cock, a trail of precum rolling down the tip making Sephiroth's own cock twitch. The man groaned, rubbing his cock against the puckered, pink hole before slowly plunging into the woman. Sephiroth bit his lip - is this allowed? he wondered is this okay? But it's wrong...right? A slew of conflicting thoughts bombarded him, but the magic of the moment died as the woman got louder. He muted the video - to at least save himself from hearing her over impassioned moaning which put him in a weird state of arousal and distaste. He kept watching the cock drive into that tight hole - how the man grabbed her ass with want and pulled her back against his cock. Sephiroth's hand wound around his dick - the poor thing begging for touch whilst he debated whether or not it was acceptable to be aroused by a penis entering an anus. Then the camera turned away from the powerful thrusts of the man, to the bouncing tits of the woman. He sighed...it was going so well... Somewhat frustrated, he exited the video and stared at the search bar of PornHub. He smirked and typed 'Hardcore Anal'. The selection was astounding - so many assholes were getting 'creamed', as the porn connoisseurs would say. There were thin women, large women, young women, old women - women of all sorts of races and shapes and sizes. But nothing was really striking his fancy as the camera work favored the expressions and sounds of the female and not so much the penetrative efforts... Drumming his fingers on his desk he pondered...what else was Hojo wrong about? Rectums are not for penises, he had said, only vaginas - but Sephiroth now knows that not to be true since a plethora of videos proved otherwise. Hojo also mentioned that on occasion a penis did belong in female mouths. "And only female mouths!" Hojo stated rather explicitly as he peered at Sephiroth over his glasses. Female mouths? Could they...no...surely they didn't go into male mouths...Of course Sephiroth knew of homosexuals, in fact his best friend is one, but he never exactly spared a thought for how they had sex. Was it through oral pleasure? Or was it also this anal pleasure? To answer these questions, he typed the key terms of his curiosity into that search bar. =============================================================================== Sephiroth tried his damn hardest to remain inconspicuous whilst he carefully selected his items - checking them for curve, spring and brittleness. The internet told him Crisco was a good lubricant and that he should start with something small and work his way to something larger. He didn't make eye contact with the cashier who rung up his items, worried the bitter old lady might grimace at his purchase. And so now he now sat on his couch with a fat cucumber, a slim carrot and a tin of vegetable shortening. He must have been staring at his implements for a solid hour before even commencing the ritual of washing and lubing the vegetables. A voice in the back of his head was screaming - what if they broke inside of him? What if they got stuck ? But his dick was hard to the tune of two 'twinks' blowing each other and he really, well, he had to know what was all the rage about ramming something up one's ass. Sticking his fingers into the cold, oily Crisco, Sephiroth slathered up his asshole. It twitched, as if coy from the strange taboo sensation. Taking in a deep breath, he eased a finger into himself, briefly wondering if he cleaned himself out properly in the shower. The first finger went in with surprising ease, as did the second, and the third. He smirked to himself, feeling like an adventurous 'hardcore' sexpert for such a young man - bragging rights well deserved for being able to take more than a slim finger into his butt. Twisting, curling, rubbing those fingers inside of himself, he stroked his walls and finger-fucked his ass to a video of two men pounding in a car. And...nothing. He had three fingers up his ass, and sure it felt like there was something up there, but he wasn't getting those crazy sensations that made him want to burst all over the couch. Maybe he wasn't getting enough reach? Maybe he needed something longer and bigger? With his free hand he searched on the web 'why cant i feel good anal'. Some results on communicating with your partner, others on how to relax and prepare for anal. Further results on why anal sex doesn't feel great for women and AH HA! How To Have An Anal Orgasm - For Men. Sephiroth skimmed through the article before coming across an anatomical word he had never seen - 'Find Your Prostate'. Okay. So he had to find this 'prostate' - a walnut shaped lump in his ass that can really only be felt when hard. Thankfully he was a lot of the latter. He reached for the carrot, feeling only slightly disappointed that his horny adventures had taken to him putting a root vegetable into his ass. Sephiroth bit his lip - feeling the cool, orange vegetable slowly rasp its way inside of him. It was solid, yet brittle, so he tried his best to relax in the hopes of avoiding a trip to the doctor's office. As it reached deep inside, he sighed - ass sufficiently enveloping around the lengthy plant, it's delicately soft leaves tickling his ass cheeks alluringly. He shivered with delight, before retracting the carrot and slowly fucking himself. It was wrong, naughty, dirty - and he oh so loved it. Twisting and twirling, he investigated himself carefully, twitching in desire every moment the greenery caressed his nether regions. Sephiroth yelped at the sudden spark of delight - he had found his special place. Tipping his head back, he groaned. His arm moved faster, jamming the improvised dildo inside, stroking his ass with its pleasure giving hardness. He was shaking - the orange earthen penis fucking him to the very edge of blissful orgasmic glory. In the heat of his amorous vegan love affair, he spotted the fat, juicy cucumber out of the corner of his eye. He was so, so ready. Dropping the carrot to the floor, Sephiroth lunged for the slick green veggie. His cock twitched - sticky fluid dribbling onto his abdomen as he braced himself for the girthy glory of the almighty cucumber. He chewed his lip, his anus slowly stretching over the long, thick gourd. Heaving, his chest was pounding, his ass was crying for more. Easing the phallic vegetable inside was effortful. Green eyes squeezed shut as he filled his ass with thick, solid vegetable cock. "Fffuu-uucck-kk..." he stammered, grinding the gourd against his engorged prostate, his free hand stroking his dribbling dick. Sephiroth moaned as he grabbed the long cucumber and rammed it deep inside of himself. Sparks shot up behind his eyelids - pleasure interlaced with pain - his hands quickened their pleasure giving pace. He was panting, fucking the phallic salad ingredient hard and fast like a well oiled piston. His arm was getting tired, but he didn't care - his ass didn't care! More, it begged! More fucking and stretching of his youthful rosebud. His breath quickened, his muscles tightened and his ass choked the huge deliciously-ass-destroying food item. Pounding himself with the cucumber, and fisting his cock, Sephiroth's cock burst hot, sticky semen all over his face and body. He groaned, licking his lips and tasting his own jizz as he slowly fucked the cum inducing cucumber cumcumber into his quivering asshole. He sighed, catching his breath and slowly coming back to his senses. His ass was sore, his dick spent, and the sexy vegetable was still hard and needy inside of him. He felt full and content, and regretted having to remove the slick gourd from his needy teen ass. Sephiroth held it tenderly, mind hazy from his earth shattering orgasm. Bringing it to his lips, he kissed nature's beautiful green schlong, "Thank you." ===============================================================================   Sephiroth had woken up late the following morning. Dragging his feet into the kitchen, he caught his redheaded friend sitting on the couch. "Oh hey Seph! Hope you don't mind that I stole your carrot off your table." "My what?" Bleary eyed, Sephiroth turned around to see a half eaten carrot and Genesis munching away. He blinked, "No. I don't mind." 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