Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/519995.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/
      Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Thor_(2011)
  Relationship:
      Loki/Thor, Loki/Svaðilfari, Angrboða/Loki_|_Angerboda/Loki, Odin/Loki
  Character:
      Loki_(Marvel), Thor_(Marvel), Odin_(Marvel), Frigga_(Marvel), Svaðilfari
      |_Svadilfari, Angrboða_|_Angerboda, Jormungand_(Marvel), Fenrir_(Marvel),
      Hela_(Marvel)
  Additional Tags:
      Rape/Non-con_References, Hurt/Comfort, Bestiality, Parent/Child_Incest,
      Hermaphrodites, Mpreg
  Series:
      Part 1 of Twilight_of_Ragnarok
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-09-23 Updated: 2012-10-02 Chapters: 2/? Words: 17665
****** The Five Sins Of An Allfather ******
by roryheadmav
Summary
     The first tale in what I hope would be a trilogy, entitled "Twilight
     of Ragnarok". This first story in the trilogy is my version of the
     tale of Loki and his children. There will be scenes that will
     definitely make the reader uncomfortable, so consider yourself warned
     at this early stage.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
***** The First Sin: Sleipnir *****
THE FIVE SINS OF AN ALLFATHER
By Rory
 
 
In the eyes of the loyal citizens of Asgard, Odin Allfather was a great king,
having led the Aesir through numerous military campaigns, the most notable
among them being the tumultuous battle between King Laufey and the Frost Giants
of Jotunheim. He was also known to be a wise and just ruler, meting out laws,
decisions and commands that would benefit all in the realm.
 
Perhaps if one were to ask Loki what his personal views of his father were, he
would probably have agreed with everyone's assessments…if he were still the
young, naïve boy he once was.
 
But now, as he sat in a dank, moldy chamber in an undisclosed location,
plotting to conquer the realm of Midgard, Loki Laufeyson—now, it makes him sick
to the core to even call himself "Odinson"—would strongly disagree with
everyone's views of the Allfather. Only he knew the kind of man truly Odin was,
especially when he succumbed to the madness of Odinsleep deprivation.
 
The leader of the Chitauri had just a few minutes ago said to him derisively,
"Your ambition is little, full of childish need." He shuddered, remembering
that frigid touch upon the right side of his face.
 
There was nothing "childish" about his ambitions. While there was still that
burning desire to become king—if not of Asgard, then Midgard would do—even
greater was his wish to see the Aesir he had once called Father to be brought
down to his knees and beg for forgiveness. For the grievous sins he had
committed against the child he had deceived and whom he had so heinously
betrayed, not just once, but five times. Even his other desire to be recognized
as an equal with his half-brother Thor paled in comparison to his rage toward
Odin.
 
Oh, the Allfather had tried to strip the memory of those five sins from him
with his powerful magic. But Loki, unknown to all, was the stronger sorcerer.
Even if he had not possessed such great magical powers, his broken heart and
his tainted soul would never let him forget....
 
The First Sin: Sleipnir
 
Loki was only sixteen years old when his father invited him and his older
brother to attend the deliberations with the Asgardian council. With his sharp
mind, he knew what Odin's motive behind the invitation was—to teach his sons
the responsibilities that came with being of royal blood. It was intended to
impress upon Thor—whose mind then was furthest from the thought of ruling—what
he would most likely face when he ascends to the throne. In the case of Loki,
Odin wanted his youngest to learn that he should soon discard his mischievous
trickster ways if he were to serve as counsel to his older brother.
 
The matter at hand seemed easy enough to understand for two young boys. They
wanted to build stronger fortifications around the city. The problem was that
the builder who was offering his services demanded the sun and the moon as well
as the hand of the beautiful goddess Freyja as payment.
 
It was obvious right from the start that Odin had no intention of seeing a
highborn Vanir—and a visiting one to Asgard, at that—married to a lowly builder
of questionable repute. Thor and Loki had looked at each other, frowning, when
their father said that he wanted the walls built in three seasons' time. Truly,
an impossible task.
 
Then, the builder asked if he could use his horse Svaðilfari to aid him in the
building. Again, Odin and the Elders of the council considered the request,
clearly pondering if there was some trick to this.
 
It was obvious to Loki that Thor was going to suggest to his father that he
allow the builder to use his horse. Wanting to curry favor with his father,
Loki chose to beat his brother to it by speaking his mind first.
 
"Father, if I may speak," Loki declared, his voice high and clear, echoing
through the council hall. "I believe that we would be doing this man a
disservice if we do not allow him to use his horse. I ask that the Council be
reasonable. 'Tis a difficult task for just one man to accomplish. If you will
not permit that he have his fellows aid him in the building, then let his horse
serve as a substitute."
 
Odin fixed him with a gimlet eye. Although that sole blue eye could not hide
the weariness from being deprived of Odinsleep, there was no denying that the
mind behind it remained sharp, perhaps even sharper as a result of said
deficiency. There was also something else, an undefined glint of… Loki withdrew
from that sharp gaze, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. Still, he could not help
pondering why this trivial matter warranted his father's not getting his much
needed rest.
 
Loki was coaxed out of his thoughts by his father's query. "Do you know what it
is that you are recommending to this council, my boy? If the outcome of this
endeavor is not to our liking, you will suffer the consequences."
 
Thor was about to speak in favor of his younger brother's wisdom. But Loki
straightened his body, a clear sign of his assuming all responsibility for his
recommendation. "I will stand by my words, Father."
 
Odin had acquiesced to his youngest's advice, allowing the builder to use his
horse. Loki, however, could never forget the strange look that his father had
thrown his way after giving his pronouncement. It seemed as if the Allfather
was absolutely certain that his son had made the wrong judgment.
 
Loki came to realize his mistake during the first month of construction. He had
gone out riding to see to the builder's well-being. Great was his shock when he
saw that a large part of the wall had already been built. From the cover of the
trees, he watched as the builder hefted a heavy boulder on his back. Svaðilfari
lifted twice, even thrice that load, pulling the rocks behind him on a crude
cart or simply dragging them along with the ropes tied securely around them. By
his calculations, at the rate they were going, there was no doubt in his mind
that the builder and his hardy steed will make the deadline. Already, Loki was
dreading what would happen if his father should find out about this.
 
It was three days near the deadline of summer that another meeting of the
Elders was convened. A very displeased Odin had practically dragged his
youngest son along to face the consequences of his actions. Loki was thankful
that Thor was at Niflheim at the time, investigating on a secret matter for
their father. He could not bear to be shamed in front of the brother whom he so
admired.
 
Loki had stood there, silent and pale, as heated words flew fast and furious
above his head. "Loki is to blame for this mess! Yes, it was Loki!" Freyja was
the angriest of them all. "Allfather, I will not be coerced into marrying
that…that filth! Give your son to him as payment! After all, he is pretty
enough." In the end, he could only bite down on his lower lip to hold back his
tears.
 
Loki winced, feeling his father's hand tighten painfully on his shoulder. Then
Odin said to him, "I told you during that first meeting that you will suffer
the consequences for your wrong judgment. You have just heard the angry words
of the Elders and the Lady Freyja. Such a dreadful error holds only one
punishment: a terrible death…unless you do something to make the builder
forfeit his payment. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"
 
Loki swallowed hard. It took every ounce of courage he could muster to look
back at the furious Aesir before him and then gaze up at his father. "I swear
to you, my King, the Lady Freyja, the Elders, that on my life and honor, I
shall make the builder forfeit his payment. You have my word on it."
 
The Elders and Freyja would have said more, but Odin silenced them with a bang
of Gungnir on the marbled floor. To Loki, he said nothing, except give the boy
a lingering caress on his back, which made his youngest cringe inwardly in
mixed terror and disgust. Never had his father touched him so familiarly.
 
Wanting to be free from that loathsome touch, Loki strode outside the council
hall before his father could dismiss him. Once he was alone, his mind started
to whirl with the fury of a maelstrom. While thoughts of a terrible death
chilled his blood, even greater was his fear of his father's disapproval. He
paused in the hallway, taking deep breaths to calm himself, bring his thoughts
into order.
 
The problem lay not with the builder, but with his horse Svaðilfari. It was
primarily because of this strange, but powerful steed that the builder was able
to work at such an unnatural speed. If he could distract Svaðilfari somehow…
 
Suddenly, it hit him. THE plan. It was an outlandish plan, but it was something
that he could easily accomplish with his magic, with seiðr, in particular.
 
Perhaps, if he only possessed the gift of foresight, he would have never gone
through with it, the plan in question being the first of many that would either
go awry or would be doomed to fail right from the beginning. But no, with all
the eagerness of a boy wanting to please the parent he so loved and admired, he
ran to his chambers to read through that ancient tome on shapeshifting, which
he had pilfered from the Royal Library.
 
Loki had just recently discovered that he had the gift of seiðr. He knew that
his magic was strong enough to allow him to change his form, but it was a
talent that he had yet to control properly. Determination to see his plan
through, however, gave him the courage and the confidence he would not have in
a normal situation.
 
That night, Loki hid in the woods, not too far from where the builder and
Svaðilfari were taking a brief respite to enjoy a meager meal. The delight at
the prospect of finally earning Freyja's hand was all too obvious on the
builder's craggy face as he regaled the snorting horse on what he was going to
do with the goddess on their wedding night. Loki knew that this was the
opportunity he was waiting for.
 
Taking long, deep inhalations, Loki closed his eyes, letting the seiðr energies
suffuse his being. He kept his elation in firm control, as he felt himself
transforming. His growing body bent forward at the waist, but before his hands
and knees could fall on the ground, they changed into long, graceful legs. His
neck stretched even further out; his hair turning into a silver mane that
cascaded down in waves. When the magical energies stilled, it was only then
that his eyelids fluttered open. He gazed down at his reflection in the puddle
of water at his feet—no, his hooves—and was delighted to see himself changed
into a pretty white horse. The only body parts that he retained from his Aesir
form were his bright green eyes.
 
Time to put his plan into action.
 
Loki pranced out of his hiding place. At least, that was what he thought he was
doing, although his still human mind would tell him that he was just running
around while giving his broad hips alluring jerks and twists. Whatever it was
he was doing, it was apparently the right thing, because Svaðilfari's ebony
head lifted, those dark eyes immediately focusing upon him. Loki flicked his
head in what he hoped was an enticing manner.
 
It worked. Before the builder could secure the tack, Svaðilfari broke free,
charging toward Loki in a mad flurry of hooves. Alarmed, Loki literally turned
tail and galloped deep into the woods. It was his plan to lead the stallion on
a merry chase, keep him away from the construction long enough or at the very
least until he tired from the pursuit. However, Loki sorely underestimated
Svaðilfari's great stamina. It did not take long for Loki to realize that his
breaths were coming out as ragged pants, but hearing the determined snorts
behind him, he knew that he dared not stop.
 
Those cruel Norns, though, had other plans for him. Because he was charging
blindly through the woods, Loki had lost all sense of direction. He suddenly
found himself facing the steep wall of a cliff. Before he could even think of
changing back into his Aesir form, Svaðilfari was upon him, mounting him with
determined vigor, trapping him with his huge bulky body and powerful legs. A
shocked human gasp was drawn from Loki's lips as something incredibly large was
thrust through an orifice which he knew should not exist. Loki could no longer
think about the terrible mistake he had made, before he finally succumbed to
the overwhelming pain of his violation and fainted dead away.
 
When Loki finally awoke after an hour or more, it was to the sounds of enraged
voices in the distance and rumbling thunder above his head. Somehow, while he
lay unconscious, he had reverted back to his Aesir form. Mind still numb from
the shock and body aching in pain, he agonizingly got to his feet, wincing as
blood and horse spoor flowed freely down his trembling legs. There was a small
pond nearby, the water of which he used to clean himself partially of his
shameful defilement. He painfully limped back to where he had hidden his
clothes, pulling them on as best he could. The trousers rubbed against his sore
backside, so that he kept his belt loose to give himself some small measure of
comfort, and threw his cloak around his battered body.
 
As he emerged from the woods, it was just in time to see his brother Thor point
an angry finger toward the builder, now transformed into the Hrimthurs he truly
was.
 
"I told you, Father," Thor declared, Mjolnir gripped tightly in his hand. "This
Hrimthurs has been deceiving us all along. Any oaths that have been exchanged
should now be null and void and the appropriate punishment be meted out upon
this deceiver."
 
There was but a flash in Odin's good eye, a visible agreement to his oldest
son's words. "Do with him as you will, Thor."
 
In silence, Loki watched as his brother lifted his hammer high above his head.
And yet, he found himself turning away before several death blows were
delivered upon the begging Hrimthurs' head. It was then that Loki saw him.
Lying in a bloody heap not too far from the small group of furious Aesir
warriors was Svaðilfari. In spite of what had been done to him, Loki could only
feel a deep sadness for the poor stallion that had taken his innocence.
 
A heavy hand was laid on his shoulder. It took great effort for Loki not to
cringe at that touch, as he gazed up at his father.
 
"You did well, my son," Odin said, nodding his approval. "You have done what
you have sworn to do—given us enough time to discover the truth of the
Hrimthurs' deception."
 
Thor himself bounded over to them, grinning broadly, despite the blood that was
splattered all over him. "I don't know how you did it, but you did a marvelous
job of distracting him. I was concerned that I wouldn't make it in time. You
truly are brilliant, Brother!"
 
Loki would have beamed at the praises. Approval from both his father and his
brother was what he had desired. However, he was too tired and too much in
pain, so that he could only manage a weak smile and a slight tilt of his head,
which could easily be taken as a humble acknowledgement.
 
"I am glad to have been of service, my King, Brother," Loki murmured. Without
saying another word to them and ignoring their curious stares, he simply walked
away, trying his best to keep his body straight, although the pain was tearing
him to shreds.
 
As the weeks passed, Loki would have wanted to forget what had transpired
between him and Svaðilfari. Even the nightmares of the stallion, pain and blood
gradually receded with the passing of time. But his own body conspired against
him.
 
It was while he was breaking fast in his chambers that the sickness hit him,
causing him to throw up in violent heaves in the wash basin on the dresser
before he could reach his private bath. Three more days of this morning
torture, and Loki knew that something was wrong. On the evening of the third
day, he did something which he swore he would never do—he lay down flat on his
bed and examined his lower body, his fingers finding an orifice that was an
undoubtedly female which was not there before…at least, not since that night
with the unlamented Hrimthurs' stallion. By the sixteenth week, there was a
visible lump on his belly, the size of a small fruit, and first milk was
trickling from his breasts. As much as Loki would have wanted to deny it, he
had to accept the horrible truth—that he was carrying Svaðilfari's foal inside
him.
 
Loki could only feel dread at the possible consequences that the pregnancy
would bring to him. He dared not imagine what Odin, Frigga his mother, and,
more so, Thor would say or do if they discovered his condition. He would not
even consider what could happen to him if he were finally to give birth.
 
Although the fluctuations of hormones were interfering with his thought
processes, Loki forcefully willed himself one quiet afternoon to just sit
quietly and mull over his dilemma. Getting rid of the foal was out of the
question. It was too late for that. He had grown very attached to the babe he
was carrying, so that he would often rub a hand over his belly and sing
lullabies to it. He even has a name he already thought out after much
consideration—Sleipnir. However, he could no longer do the vigorous activities,
such as weapons and martial arts training, that were required of him. The only
way to hide his state and protect the foal was to leave the palace and change
back into the shape of a mare.
 
The following day, Loki had informed his brother of his decision to go on a
lengthy journey to Vanaheim to study seiðr with one of their priestesses. Thor
had wanted to come along with him, but he quickly pointed out that his older
brother had no magical skills, hastily promising that he will return as soon as
he concluded his studies. Surprisingly, it had been easy to get permission from
his father as well, although Odin had asked him a question that nearly caused
him to stammer.
 
"Are you sure that you go to Vanaheim to study or is there something troubling
you that I should know about?" Odin had inquired of him.
 
"I'm well, Father," Loki reassured him. "Nothing troubles me."
 
"I hope, for your sake, that you are speaking truth, Loki," the Allfather had
said warningly. "I will not have you hide things from me, things that may cause
shame to this realm…and to me."
 
Although he was quaking in his boots, Loki gave the King of Asgard a stern
glare. "Causing you shame is the last thing I have on my mind, Father." That is
why I am leaving, before you even find out what I have done.
 
In the eleven months that Loki was supposed to be in Vanaheim, there were
reports of a beautiful white mare seen roaming the woods in the outskirts of
Asgard. Some have even claimed that it was not a horse at all, but a unicorn.
Many have tried to trap it, but all failed in their attempts.
 
It was Thor—who shared a deep love of horses with his younger brother—who came
upon the mare one day. He just had an argument with his father about allowing
him to join Loki in Vanaheim, something which Odin did not permit. Thor was
sitting on a fallen tree, sulking, when a soft breath blew the ends of his
blond hair from his neck. Whirling, he found himself staring at the white mare,
its lovely emerald green eyes peering at him in concern. Reaching inside his
pouch, Thor took out the apple slices and gave them to the horse, who daintily
chewed them in its mouth.
 
As the months passed, this became a daily ritual for Thor and the white mare.
Each day, Thor would sit on that same tree, waiting with his pouch filled with
fruits and sugar cubes to give to his four-legged friend.
 
During one such moment, the fledgling God of Thunder said with great longing,
"Your eyes…they remind me so much of Loki's eyes." Thor then wrapped his arms
around the mare's neck and whispered, "Oh, how I miss my little brother so
much!"
 
I miss you too, my darling brother, the thought filled Loki's mind as he
whickered reassuringly. I miss you too!
 
It was seven days past the eleventh month when Loki noticed that the cramping
in his lower belly was occurring more frequently, becoming more intense as the
minutes past. In thirty minutes, water splashed down his legs, followed by thin
streams of blood. His womb seized up hard, and a very human scream escaped from
his lips. Miserably, he trudged along the trails, hoping that the movement
would hasten the birth, but every step he took only caused him sheer agony.
Something was dreadfully wrong, and he needed help.
 
Fear for the baby in his womb prompted Loki to return to Asgard, stumbling into
one of the pens in stables where he lay gasping for breath on a mound of fresh
hay. It seemed he lay there for hours, straining and pushing, but his child
would not come out, as though something was blocking its passage. He wondered
if both he and the baby were going to die.
 
Loki, however, was drawn from his painful musings by the sudden appearance of
his father with Heimdall at his side. There was such fury in Odin's single eye
that the desire to live was outweighed by the wish to die rather than suffer
his father's wrath.
 
"Make sure that no one enters the stable," Odin ordered the gatekeeper.
"Especially Thor."
 
To this command, Heimdall nodded, but he nevertheless gave Loki a reassuring
pat on the flank, saying "All will be well, Loki." Why was he not surprised
that the gatekeeper had seen through his masquerade?'
 
Odin looked at him grimly without saying a word. Then, with both arms, he
reached inside Loki, drawing a tormented scream from his throat. Loki's legs
flailed in sheer panic, feeling those strong hands going deeper and deeper into
his body. Then, those hands stopped, having found what they were seeking.
 
"Push!" was all Odin said.
 
Loki screamed again as he pushed with all his might, while his father used that
moment to attempt to pull the baby out. Loki could not help his sigh of relief
as the foal fell with a wet plop between his legs, followed by the large
afterbirth. In his exhaustion, he did not even realize that he had changed back
into his Aesir form. Neither did he notice that his offspring has eight legs
instead of four. All he saw were those adorable dark gray eyes peering
innocently back at him, and Loki could not help laughing in relief, drawing the
little colt to him so that he could lick the precious drops of milk that flowed
from his breast. He completely forgot about his father, who was standing above
him and looking down at him with uncontrollable rage.
 
Odin tore the gray colt from his embrace, the sudden separation from his nipple
causing Loki to cry out in pain. Before he could even think to defend himself,
the Allfather had seized his shoulders and was shaking him like a rag doll, two
hard slaps falling upon his cheek.
 
"YOU WILLFUL, SELFISH BOY!" Odin roared in his face, each word emphasized with
hard shakes that caused Loki's weak body to flop like a dying fish. "I warned
you about doing something that would cause shame to me! How dare you go against
the plans I have made for you! How dare you debase yourself with an animal!"
 
Plans? What plans?The thought barely registered inside Loki's head, stricken as
he was by his father's wrath. "Father, please forgive me! I swear I didn't mean
for this to happen! Please don't hurt me!"
 
Loki shuddered as Odin reached cruelly between his legs. He swiftly gripped his
father's wrist before his groping fingers could reach his nether parts.
 
"Is this what you are, Loki? A whore?" Odin hissed in his ear. "Because if
that's what you want to become, I am sure I could have use for your particular
talent."
 
Tears streamed from Loki's begging eyes. "Please, Father! Don't!"
 
Before Odin could do more, he was butted out of the way, sending him sprawling
on the ground. The god glared at the colt, which stood protectively before his
mother even with wobbly legs.
 
Furious, Odin pulled a gold-hilted dagger from its sheath around his waist.
"You impudent little creature! You dare to strike a king?!"
 
Loki wrapped his arms around his angry child. "Punish me if you must, Father!
But don't hurt Sleipnir!"
 
"ODIN, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"
 
An outraged Frigga entered the stables in a flurry of gold robes. Hurrying
behind her was Thor, who was horrified to see the state his younger brother was
in. As Odin's disapproving eye focused on him, Heimdall could only shrug in
helplessness. As much as Asgard's gatekeeper honored every command of his King,
the Queen was a formidable power unto herself.
 
"Loki! I thought you were still in Vanaheim." Frigga stared in shock at the
pool of blood that was staining her gown and continued to trickle down her
son's legs. "You're bleeding!"
 
Thor had already removed his cloak, handing it to his mother, who then
proceeded to tear a sizeable length from the hem to make a thick pad to press
between Loki's thighs.
 
"What happened to you, Brother?" There was no concealing the dread in Thor's
voice. "How came you to be in such a frightful state?"
 
"Yes, Loki," Odin said, sneering, as he stood up. "Please do tell us what
happened."
 
"Hush, Husband!" Frigga shushed him sharply. "You have frightened my son
enough!"
 
With all eyes turned to him expectantly—Odin's gaze, in particular, was daring
him to speak truth—Loki could only be grateful that he was a gifted Liesmith.
The story that issued from his lips became his first great lie.
 
"I…I just arrived in Asgard this eve," Loki began haltingly. "I was going to
surprise everyone. But I came across a band of brigands in the woods. They were
butchering a white mare that had just given birth. I tried to escape with the
foal, but the brigands…they seized me…and they…and they…"
 
Loki could no longer speak under his father's displeased scrutiny. All he could
do was lower his head and sob, clinging protectively to his brave child. "I'm
sorry! I'm so sorry!"
 
Thor's broad fingers brushed gently through his hair. "There is nothing for you
to be sorry for. I will bring our best men with me and hunt those bastards
down. They shall pay for sullying a Prince of Asgard."
 
"Oh, they have sullied him alright." Before Frigga could snap back at her
husband, Odin commanded, "Take him to your chambers, wife, and heal him there.
Those brigands…mutilated…him. I don't want word of this to get out in the
realm." His head lifted to Thor, who was about to storm out of the stables with
Mjolnir in hand. "Help your mother, Thor. Heimdall and I will take care of
those ruffians."
 
Although his blood boiled with the desire for vengeance, Thor obeyed his father
and went back to his brother's side, bending down to pick him up.
 
"No, I can walk, Thor," Loki quickly said to him. "But please? Could you bring
Sleipnir? With the mare gone, he has become attached to me…as though I were his
mother."
 
Odin snorted in disgust. He probably would have said more if Heimdall had not
clapped a heavy warning hand on his shoulder.
 
"I'll take Sleipnir, son," Frigga assured him, lifting the colt in her arms,
taking care of his extra legs. "Let your brother carry you."
 
Weary both in body and soul, Loki could only nod and acquiesce to his mother's
suggestion. Thor carefully wrapped him up in the warm cocoon of his cloak. Loki
could not look at his father as Thor and his mother brought him and his newborn
babe inside the palace.
 
~~~~~~~~~~
 
Recognizing the necessity for secrecy and discretion, Frigga personally tended
to her son's hurts. She had shooed Thor away after he had laid Loki on her bed,
but there was no mistaking his heavy pacing steps outside the door as he
waited.
 
Frigga's examination had been most thorough. Loki waited for her
recriminations, but his mother said nothing, treating him—even down there—with
the tender expertise of a Master Healer.
 
When she was finally done, she sat down on the edge of the bed and took his
hand. Probably sensing the tension between mother and son, Sleipnir trotted
over, laying his chin on the coverlet as he gazed into Loki's green eyes.
 
"You're a sweet boy, aren't you, Sleipnir?" Loki laughed lightly, his fingers
playing with the tuft of silver hair at the top of his head.
 
"Loki, my son," Frigga began reluctantly, "what I've seen… It isn't mutilation,
am I correct?"
 
Loki let out a shuddering breath as he shook his head. "No, Mother. It was no
mutilation." He then told her everything. Frigga just sat there, listening, her
face a mask. Despairing that his beloved mother loathed him, Loki could only
weep as he let the truth spill from his lips.
 
"I don't understand, Mother," he cried in confusion. "What did I do wrong?"
 
Frigga hesitated, clearly wanting to reveal something to her son. But in the
end, she answered, "It is the seiðr, my son. You don't have full control over
it. It…warped…your body, so that you could accomplish what you desire."
 
"But it was never my intention to turn into a mare! Mother, when I carried
Sleipnir inside my body, I did some readings in the library. Shapeshifting with
seiðr will only cause a change in the outward physical form, but not the
gender. Even if a man were to shapeshift into a woman or a woman into a man, he
or she would still retain the reproductive parts that would identify the sex.
But in my case, such a complete shift would mean that I possessed both male and
female parts right from the beginning!" Loki gazed at his mother in abject
misery. "What am I, Mother? Some kind of abomination?"
 
Frigga threw her arms around her son and drew him closer to her breast. "Never
call yourself an abomination, Loki! You are my son!"
 
"But…what more than that?" Loki asked insistently.
 
Frigga cupped her son's face in her hands. "Never detest this beautiful body
that you are born with, Loki. It is capable of miracles, of creating and
nurturing life. Why, I know of many barren Aesir women who would give anything
to have a womb as fertile as yours. No man will ever know the pain and the
glory of bringing life into the world."
 
"You make it sound like a blessing, but the Aesir will not be as open-minded as
you. I saw the detestation on Father's face. I could not bear to see the same
disgust in Thor." Frigga wanted to argue further, but Loki shook his head. "I
have shamed Father enough. As much as I want to proclaim to all that Sleipnir
is my son, it is a secret that I shall bear. I ask for your silence, as I know
the Allfather would keep his. And I beg you. Please do not tell Thor the truth
of my predicament."
 
Frigga sighed in surrender, seeing the wisdom in her son's words. "I will do as
you ask, but please allow me to dote upon my grandson." She smiled, feeling a
tongue lick her hand. "I'm sure Thor would want to do the same, since he
absolutely adored you when you were in the guise of a mare. He always said that
the mare reminded him so much of you."
 
Loki huffed disappointingly. "I had hoped Thor would recognize me. But I
suppose he is woefully deficient in wit. OH!" He looked down in surprise at the
patch of growing wetness on his tunic.
 
"I suppose it is time for little Sleipnir to feed," Frigga laughed, seeing the
red blush forming on her son's pale cheeks. She unlaced Loki's tunic. "Amazing!
You still possess a man's chest and yet your nipples are swollen with milk.
Does it hurt?"
 
"Yes!" Loki hissed at her tentative touch. "Like my chest is about to burst."
 
"That's because a man's chest is not as round and full as a woman's. Have you
tried changing into a mare or into a woman at least?"
 
Loki nodded. "None of my attempts worked. I must have expended too much of my
power."
 
"You could squeeze the milk into a bowl. Here, let me help you."
 
In the next few minutes, Frigga taught her chagrined son how to express milk
from his breast, letting the white fluid squirt into a bowl. Loki then slid
gingerly down to the floor and offered it to Sleipnir who lapped it up eagerly.
Both mother and son laughed in delight at the colt's voraciousness. That is,
until Sleipnir, still feeling hungry, decided to bury his head on Loki's chest
to nibble at a small nipple.
 
"Sleipnir!" Loki exclaimed in surprise, as the colt smacked his lips and
started to suckle.
 
Ever infamous for his wrong timing, Thor chose that moment to barge through the
door. "I'm sorry, Mother, but I have to know how Loki's faring and…" A golden
eyebrow went up at the sight of his brother with an eight-legged foal suckling
upon his chest. "What is he doing?"
 
Not knowing what to say, all Loki could mutter was a sheepish, "I told you
Sleipnir thinks I'm his mother."
 
To his relief, Thor chuckled and rubbed the colt's head playfully. "I doubt
you'll get any nutrition from my brother's teat, little one." He grinned
broadly at the fierce glare Loki threw at him. "But, as your uncle, I promise
that I will help your dear mother in weaning you by fattening you up on the
best apples and candies in Asgard."
 
"I don't want you spoiling him, Brother," Loki warned him, although he was
inwardly pleased with Thor's acceptance of the colt who unknowingly was truly
his nephew.
 
The smile on Thor's face disappeared, however, as he reported, "Father says
that Sleipnir is a cursed beast and should be killed before he brings
misfortune upon Asgard."
 
"What nonsense! I swear I must get him into bed so that he could go straight
into Odinsleep! The lack of it has turned him mad!" Frigga declared in outrage.
"Stay here, my sons. I shall have strong, angry words with your father." And
she stormed out of her chamber, slamming the door with a resounding bang that
rattled the rafters.
 
The two brothers sat in companionable silence, their hands relishing the soft
hairs on the foal's body. Having had his fill, Sleipnir curled up on the floor
with his head on Loki's lap. Before his brother's attention could be drawn
toward his chest, Loki pulled his tunic closed. As he resumed running his
fingers over Sleipnir's baby down, Thor's fingers closed around his hand.
 
"I swear to you, Loki," Thor began in all solemnity. "I will see no harm befall
Sleipnir."
 
His voice choked with emotion, the only thing that Loki could say was "I thank
you, Brother."
 
~~~~~~~~~~
 
Odin never made good on his threat to destroy the eight-legged monstrosity that
was his youngest son's offspring, thanks to the recalcitrant objections of
Frigga and Thor. Even Heimdall weighed in his strong views that the colt should
be allowed to live. Loki, however, knew that this was just a temporary
reprieve. If he were to see his firstborn truly safe, he would have to set him
free from the confines of the realm.
 
As the months passed, Loki cherished each and every day that he spent with
Sleipnir. He would visit the colt in the special pen that was built for him in
the stables, feeding him from his own breast when no curious stablehands were
around to see. Perhaps because of the seiðr in his milk, Sleipnir's growth was
rapid and his health hardier than even a Valkyrie's winged steed. When feeding
him became a painful endeavor, Thor made good on his promise to help in the
weaning. Many times Loki would chide his brother for pampering Sleipnir with
apples, pears and sweets, treats that delighted the colt immensely. Sometimes,
Sleipnir would not eat his fresh hay, not without a special treat. At one time,
the colt had somehow managed to pilfer Thor's treat pouch through unknown
means, which Loki could only suspect was magic, although he never was able to
determine any magical abilities in his offspring.
 
"Sleipnir takes after his mother," Thor would often tease his brother, words
which would only bring a sad smile to Loki's lips.
 
By the eighth month, Sleipnir has grown to the size of an adult horse. However,
his demeanor was still that of a child, never straying far from Loki and Thor
whenever they strolled through the fields and woods. With time, even these
simple walks were no longer enough for the horse.
 
One day, while they were gathering apples in the orchard, Loki slipped from a
tree branch and would have fallen to the hard ground. Sleipnir though caught
his parent on his back. Before Loki could sit properly, Sleipnir took off in a
full gallop, leaving behind Thor with mouth agape. Loki had ridden other steeds
before, but never had he felt such strength and raw power as was being emanated
by his beloved offspring. Riding Sleipnir was akin to flying, and Loki was
exhilarated by the brisk wind that pummeled his body. Thor eventually caught up
with them, thanks to Mjolnir. As he settled down behind his brother, Sleipnir
accepted the added load willingly with a flick of his head and a happy whinny,
not once slowing his pace, proud to show his mother and uncle what he could do.
 
It was Thor who voiced the thought that was inside his brother's mind. "Shall
we set him free now, Brother?"
 
Although the sorrow of their eventual parting was breaking his heart, Loki
whispered, "Yes, Thor. It is time."
 
But Sleipnir had other plans. Before the two young gods could dismount, he
turned around. Ignoring his mother's protests, he rode back to Asgard, and to
the stables where the stern figure of Odin stood waiting for them.
 
"It is time that this…creature…earn his keep," Odin announced. "An army of
rebel Jotuns have gathered at the border. Sleipnir shall bear me into glorious
battle. Thor, you shall come with me."
 
"Father, no! I won't allow it!" Loki protested vehemently. "Sleipnir is but a
child! It is only now that he bore Thor and me on his back!"
 
"That would be enough. If he could carry my two sons, then he should be able to
bear his…" A disgusted snort. "…Grandsire."
 
"Grandsire?" Thor frowned in confusion.
 
"How dare you call yourself that when you have never recognized him as such! Is
this your plan? To bring my son into battle so that he will fall to a Jotun's
ice blade? No, Father! If Sleipnir is going to die in battle, then I shall die
a warrior with him!"
 
Odin banged Gungnir on the ground. His voice sounded like an echo inside Loki's
head as he declared, "Enough! I will hear no more from you, Loki!"
 
Loki's hand flew to his temple, feeling suddenly disoriented. "What are you
doing to me? What—" To his horror, he realized that the precious memories of
Sleipnir he held inside his mind were being taken from him. With a furious
snarl, Loki waved his hand, dismissing the spell that the Allfather had cast
upon him with his seiðr.
 
"YOU DARE TRY TO STEAL THE MEMORIES OF MY SON AWAY FROM ME?"
 
"YES, I DO DARE! FOR HE IS THE SON OF A MONSTER WHO WOULD FORNICATE WITH A
BEAST!"
 
"FATHER, DON'T SPEAK OF LOKI IN SUCH A FOUL MANNER!"
 
Their arguments came to a sudden stop when Sleipnir reared up, his four front
legs flailing in the air. When they were silent, Sleipnir went over to Odin,
back straight and ready.
 
Loki stared aghast at his son. "Sleipnir? What are you doing?"
 
Odin ignored his youngest son and swung up on Sleipnir's back. "Smart horse,"
he said, giving the withers hearty pats. "You made the right decision."
 
"SLEIPNIR, NO!"
 
Loki made to stop his offspring, but Thor wrapped his arms around him and held
him back. "I promise that I shall watch over Sleipnir for you, Loki. I will
keep him safe."
 
Helpless, Loki could only fall to his knees and cry bitterly as his beloved son
bore his grandsire to what could only be certain death.
 
~~~~~~~~~~
 
For three days since their departure, Loki never stirred from the stables where
he had been left behind. Fear and grief had shut down his mind, so that he was
nothing more than a doll.
 
Frigga would go to him, bearing food, water, and fresh clothes. The food, Loki
never touched. It was left to Frigga to cleanse him of tears, sweat and grime.
His mother never suggested to him to wait inside the palace, knowing that it
would go unheard.
 
Loki only roused from his stupor on the afternoon of the fourth day when Thor
finally entered the stable with a limping Sleipnir at his side. There was a
gaping gash on Sleipnir's left thigh. There were other sword wounds on other
parts of his body.
 
As Loki hurried to his son, Thor said regretfully, "I'm sorry, Brother. Father
had taken him into the thick of the battle. The Jotuns managed to score several
wounds upon him before I could get close. Because of the extent of his
injuries, Father wanted him killed, saying that he was hobbled, useless. But
Sleipnir proved him wrong, bearing the Allfather upon his back with nary a show
of pain or weariness. With his mighty hooves, he felled many Jotuns, crushing
their heads on the earth. I wish you could've seen him, Loki. You would've been
so proud of him."
 
Loki embraced his son tightly as he sent healing energies to seal the wounds.
"I've long been proud of him, Brother. He is my dearest son, after all."
 
Loki wondered if his happy and relieved mind was playing tricks on him. But as
his tears wetted Sleipnir's neck, he thought he heard a strong, clear voice
make a proud declaration.
 
"An oath I give to thee, my Dam. I shall bring only honor and glory to the name
of Loki."
 
 
TO BE CONTINUED…
 
 
***** The Second Sin: Jormungand *****
Chapter Summary
     The story of Jormungand. There is non-con in this chapter, so
     consider yourself warned.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
THE FIVE SINS OF AN ALLFATHER
Copyright October 3, 2012 by Rory
 
 
The day after the Jotun forces were quelled, the Allfather at long last fell
into the Odinsleep. Or perhaps 'collapsed' was the more appropriate term.
During the feast in celebration of their great victory, Odin was about to carve
the ceremonial roast when he slumped right on top of the poor boar. Everyone
was in a state of panic, including his mother and brother. Although Loki—ever
of calmer head—eventually decided to take charge and ordered the healers and
guards to take his father into the sleeping chamber, inwardly, he could not
help his perverse glee at the sight of Odin sprawled on top of that roast as
though he were rutting that enormous pig on its plate.
 
Loki chose that moment to finally release the laughter that he had kept inside
for centuries, which prompted a curious glance from Clint Barton who happened
to be passing by. He simply ignored the archer, letting his laughter ring out
through the tunnels, only to deteriorate into soft sobs.
 
"You should never have woken up, Father," Loki said bitterly as he pressed his
right palm to his eyes to stem the flow of his tears. "You should've stayed
sleeping for all eternity. Maybe we'd all have been happier."
 
The Second Sin: Jormungand
 
The many long years that Odin slept prove to be the happiest period in Loki's
life. With his mother Frigga acting as regent in her husband's place, peace
settled in the Nine Realms, as if they have been liberated from the battle
fever that consumed them while under the Allfather's rule.
 
Thor and Loki enjoyed the remainder of their youth, together with Loki's
precious son Sleipnir. Yes, they still had to fulfill their responsibilities as
princes of the Golden Realm; even Sleipnir had to undergo specialized
instruction from both his mother and his uncle if he were to become his
grandsire's battle steed. But without the pall of their father's intimidating
shadow shrouding them, they were free to do whatever they wanted. And, not
surprisingly, they thrived while under Frigga's watchful and loving guidance.
 
Then, one cloudy morning, Odin opened his lone blue eye.
 
The whole realm celebrated the awakening of their king. Sumptuous delicacies
were plentiful; ale, mead and wine flowed like rivers.
 
In Loki's heart, however, there was only apprehension and distrust. Even when
his father sought him out to personally apologize for his appalling behavior
back then, Loki's forgiveness was halfhearted. There was no mistaking the lack
of sincerity in the Allfather's demeanor, even with his well-chosen words. He
could only ponder when the Allfather will reveal his true colors again.
 
More years passed. The realm returned to its state of normalcy under Odin's
rule, if one could call 'normal' the undercurrent of seething unrest that
existed between Asgard and the other kingdoms with which it held uneasy truces.
This was particularly true of Jotunheim, which stirred like a nest of hornets
just waiting for the wrong poke with a stick by the Allfather to rouse them all
to a frenzy.
 
And that stick, unfortunately, was going to be Loki.
 
"Loki, may I have a word with you please."
 
Loki—who was then heading for the stables to see to Sleipnir's needs—turned at
the sound of Frigga's voice. "Mother? What can I do for you?"
 
"Not for me, Loki, but for Odin, your father."
 
Loki could not stop himself from flinching at his father's name. "The King
knows that he need only command me and I shall obey."
 
Frigga's eyebrow lifted at that title. "Should it always be a command with
you?" Frigga reached out and clasped her youngest son's arm. "Loki, how long
are you going to hold on to your resentments?"
 
Loki trained his discomfited gaze upon a speck of dust between his feet. "What
resentments? I have forgiven him, remember? Mother, I really don't know what
you are talking about."
 
"I know you too well, my son. Forgiveness does not come to you easily. I…I
personally would not be so forgiving if your father were to do the same thing
to me."
 
He let out a defeated exhalation. "I'm sorry, Mother. But I just…cannot…forget.
Every day that I see Sleipnir, I am only reminded of his wrath, his cruelty,
and his strong intent to kill my son. Now, whenever I am in his presence, I do
not…feel…a father's love."
 
"You know that's not true, Loki! Your father loves you! He was under tremendous
pressure back then, which was further compounded by his fighting off the
Odinsleep. There were just too many issues that needed to be dealt with."
 
"Yes," Loki laughed wryly. "First and foremost among them being his stupid son
who made a wrong judgment and then allowed himself to be fucked by a horse in
order to rectify his error. He called me a fornicator as if I spread my legs
willingly to Svaðilfari. Not a single hour went by that he did not spit in my
face how much I had shamed him and the realm." He shook his head briskly, green
eyes smoldering with pent up anger. "Oh, I could forgive, Mother, but
forgetting is a different matter altogether."
 
"Loki…"
 
"No, please listen to me for a change. I am tired of hearing about his lack of
Odinsleep as being the cause of his atrocious behavior toward me. If Father had
been mad then, it was because he wanted to succumb to it. The Odinsleep
deficiency was but an excuse for him to act according to his true nature—a vile
old man who harbors unclean desires toward his own son!"
 
Loki's head whipped to the side as a hard slap landed on his cheek. As he
looked at his mother out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Frigga's right
hand was still poised in the air, ready to deliver another strike if need be.
 
"I will not have you speak of your father that way, Loki! You have become quite
an expert at spinning lies that you've come to believe every indecent thought
that crosses your mind! Odin Allfather will never sully his sons!"
 
"Oh, he will never touch Thor, being his heir, his golden son," Loki said just
as strongly. "But me… I've seen the way he looks at me since that time, Mother,
and there is nothing 'fatherly' about it. You can hit me as many times as you
like, but nothing will make me change my mind about him."
 
"Shall I command you to see your father then?"
 
"If you so wish it, I will be forced to comply, regardless of my true feelings
on the matter."
 
Frigga lowered her hand, knowing that it was useless to argue with her son.
"No, I will not compel you to do something that is against your will, Loki.
Forgive me for bothering you."
 
Disappointed, Frigga began to walk away, not even lifting her gaze to look at
her son. She had just taken a few paces from him when she heard another sharp
exhalation behind her.
 
"Where is he now?"
 
Frigga could not help the small smile that quirked up her lips. "In Valaskjálf.
He had the guards close the hall so that he could cast runes in private. He's
been at this activity since he woke up from the Odinsleep. However, he has been
doing this more often of late. I am certain though that he will have the doors
opened for you."
 
There was a brief silence between mother and son. When Loki finally broke the
silence, it was with a question.
 
"Mother? If I prove to be correct in my…assumptions…about Father, would you
believe me?"
 
"I'm your mother, Loki. Of course, I will believe you."
 
She listened to her son's departing steps. "I hope that you will not find
yourself eating those words."
 
~~~~~~~~~~
 
True to his mother's words, the guards permitted Loki to enter Valaskjálf
without a single protest. Or perhaps they could not bring themselves to bar him
entrance, considering the not-so-sane mumblings that were coming from within.
 
As he entered the great throne room, Loki was not at all surprised to find his
father sitting on the floor with his gold robes spread around him like a
glittering pool. Lying before him were well-worn wooden chips with runes
inscribed on them. Whatever it was Odin saw in those runes, he let out a curse
of frustration. As Loki looked on, the Allfather gathered them once more, mixed
them up, and threw them on the floor with a clatter.
 
With slow, wary steps, Loki approached his father. "You know that you should
not be casting the runes so many times in one day. You will either get the same
results over and over again, or the runes will give you the answer that you
want to hear, even if it is inaccurate."
 
Without looking up from the runes, Odin remarked, "And you would know that,
considering that you are a gifted seiðmenn."
 
"That may be true, but I never possessed the gift of prophecy. Even if I had, I
would never use it. I strongly believe that it is up to the individual himself
or herself to determine his or her fate."
 
"You blaspheme the Norns with your words. 'Tis no wonder that they wove a
bitter thread for you."
 
Loki's lips tightened into a grim line. "Mother asked me to see you. She has
been…concerned…with your preoccupations with the runes and the future. I see
now that her concerns are well-founded. But, since you seem in full control of
your mental capacities this time, I shall leave you to your fancies."
 
Loki turned on his heel to leave, but he was halted by a cry of "Wait!" from
the elder god. As he looked at his father again, Odin lifted his hand to him, a
small request for aid. Loki tried not to roll his eyes in exasperation as he
went over to the Allfather and helped him to get up on his feet. Odin was about
to give him a pat on the shoulder, but Loki reflexively shied away from that
touch.
 
Ignoring that gesture, Odin grumbled with a sigh, "I could never hide things
from your mother. Yes, something is troubling me and I need your counsel."
 
"Why me? Shouldn't you be asking Thor?"
 
Odin briskly waved his hands as if shooing a fly. "You know that Thor is not
that astute when it comes to matters of state. As distasteful as it is for me
to do this, I'm afraid I could only rely on you."
 
"And why should my opinions matter now, considering the fact that you
constantly slapped in my face just how terribly I erred with my last judgment,
not to mention what came after?"
 
The Allfather made a strangled noise in his throat as he marched over to the
dais. "If you do not wish to aid your father, then go. Bother me not with your
odious presence no longer."
 
"If I do not find out what's troubling you, Mother would have my head."
Grudgingly, Loki dropped down to one knee and thumped a fist over his heart.
"How may I be of service to My King?"
 
Odin whirled, revealing the pleased smile on his face. Loki wondered if he had
just made a big mistake in acquiescing to his father's childish tantrum too
soon.
 
From out of thin air, Odin conjured up a roll of parchment and tossed it into
his son's hands. "Tell me, Loki. What do you make of it?"
 
Loki opened the scroll, his eyebrows going up at the Jotun writing. He read the
contents carefully, twice, until he reached the end. There was an incredulous
expression on his face when he at last lifted his head.
 
"Well, this seems rather hard to believe," Loki began, rolling up the
parchment. "A group of rebel Jotuns seeking an alliance with Asgard in order to
dethrone King Laufey. Pardon me if I view this missive with a large measure of
incredulity on my part. The Jotuns are fiercely loyal to their King.
This…Angrboða…seems like a rabble rouser to me."
 
"A rabble rouser under the employ of Asgard in fact." Odin saw the look of
surprise on his youngest son's face. "I had a private audience with Angrboða
years back. It was he who informed us about Laufey's intention to invade
Midgard. Apparently, Angrboða is a noble among the Jotuns who does not see eye
to eye with King Laufey's ambitions of conquest. If it were not for the
information he had given us, we would never have been able to quash Laufey's
forces and obtain the Casket of Ancient Winters."
 
"So now, Angrboða reveals his true ambitions of wanting to take the throne of
Laufey for himself. What makes you think that he would honor an alliance with
our realm?"
 
"That is why I intend to send a…representative. To forge an alliance between
the future king of Jotunheim and Asgard."
 
Realization finally dawned upon Loki. Gesturing to himself, he stated, "So I am
to be your chosen envoy to Angrboða. And what, may I ask, are my qualifications
that would make me the best choice for this…mission?"
 
"Unlike your brother, you are the more seasoned diplomat. There is no one else
whom I could trust with this. Not only should this diplomatic mission succeed,
it should be done in absolute secrecy. You know very well that there are people
in this realm who don't look with a favorable eye upon our current truce with
Jotunheim. You may even consider your brother to be among them. But, in order
to quell all unrest, we must consider all possible options that may bring about
permanent peace, and I believe that…" Odin pointed to the scroll. "…Is the best
option we have."
 
The Allfather gave his son a meaningful look.
 
"You have a way with words, Loki. And you have other…talents…that may prove
useful. Consider this an opportunity to win back my favor. If you should
succeed in this, I might even think more deeply on the prospect of having you
inherit the throne instead of your brother."
 
Loki laughed at that blatant enticement. "I have no interest in the throne. I
only wish to be recognized as an equal with Thor." He then became dead serious
as he looked his father straight in the eye. "Instead, I would ask that my son
Sleipnir be given his freedom. A life of a battle steed is not what I
envisioned for him. As much as you look upon his sire with disgust, I have seen
enough of Svaðilfari's hardships at the hands of the Hrimthurs to know that I
would not have Sleipnir be a slave to any man, even if he were the king of the
golden realm."
 
Odin was incensed at the audacity of his son. With a snarl of defeat, he sat
down on Hlidskjalf with a heavy plop and exclaimed, "Do what you will!"
 
"Then make it an oath. Swear upon your name."
 
Growling, the Allfather declared, "I, Odin Allfather, solemnly swear that I
shall free the steed Sleipnir from his indenture to his king and to the realm
of Asgard upon completion of the task of his Dam, Loki Odinson. I stress, upon
completion of the task. Do everything it takes to secure that alliance with
Angrboða. And I do mean everything."
 
Loki could not help his elation at the thought that his son would soon have his
freedom. Pressing his fist to his breast once more, he said firmly, "I hear and
obey your command, My King."
 
~~~~~~~~~~
 
"Why could I not go with you, Loki?" Thor protested as he watched his younger
brother saddle up his favorite bay mare. Loki grunted, feeling another
insistent headbutt at the small of his back from Sleipnir as well. "See! Even
Sleipnir wants to come along."
 
"What is there about the word 'secret' that is unclear to you, Thor?" Loki
said, mildly exasperated. "One would think that so simple a word would be easy
for you to understand."
 
Thor flushed hotly at that insult. "Of course I know the word. What I don't
understand is why you need to go alone? This is Jotunheim we're talking about
here. You know that the Jotuns are not to be trusted. Somehow, I think Father
had woken up from the Odinsleep too soon. He is still addlepated."
 
"Thor, you are all bravado and bluster. I am absolutely certain that my
presence will be detected even before I cross the border into Jotunheim. You
were never known for your discretion, Brother. Sorry I have to say it, but it's
the truth." There was another butt, this time on his bottom. Loki turned to
face his disgruntled offspring. "And you are not one for discretion either,
Sleipnir. You'll probably charge through Jotunheim and create a riot with your
proud whinnies and flailing hooves. Sometimes, I tend to think that you are
more Thor's child than mine."
 
Loki could not stop himself from laughing as both his brother and his son let
out identical snorts. Seeing the stubborn expressions on their faces, Loki
sighed as he handed Sleipnir a piece of candy, which his offspring reluctantly
accepted.
 
"Thor, you know that I do this for Sleipnir. This is not the life that I want
for him. Father himself gave me the opportunity to ensure that he will attain
his freedom. I will not let this chance go."
 
"Yes, I know, Loki, but I do not want you going into Jotunheim alone. I want to
be at your side, to protect you from all harm."
 
"And I appreciate how much you care for me, but I need you here." Loki cupped
Thor's cheek and smiled sweetly. "I will not lie that I too want you to be with
me. But I want you here in Asgard to take care of my son. Please, Thor. I want
to be sure that Sleipnir will be safe with you."
 
Thor laid his hand over Loki's and pressed down gently. "I will care for
Sleipnir in your absence."
 
"Thank you, Brother," Loki said, feeling reassured. He then gave Sleipnir a
kiss on the brow. "As for you, be good to your uncle. And make sure that he
stays out of trouble."
 
"Why am I the troublemaker now?" Thor whined, and he grimaced at the sight of
Sleipnir, who had curled his lips and was giving his uncle a toothy grin. "And
what kind of insulting face is that? Brother, he really is your son. See how
much he looks like you when you throw your mean barbs at me!"
 
Loki laughed at the comical sight his brother and his son made. Inwardly, he
mused, I would so like to see the look on your face when you do come to realize
that Sleipnir is indeed my son in the truest sense of that word.
 
As he swung himself up on his mount, Loki admonished both of them, "Please do
behave while I'm gone. I promise you I will return once I have concluded my
business in Jotunheim."
 
Before he could ride off, Thor cried, "Loki, wait!"
 
Looking at his brother with a bit of irritation, he was surprised when Thor
suddenly grabbed the front of his tunic and pulled him down in order to give
him a heated kiss on the lips.
 
Loki broke the kiss at once, his face all red. "Thor, what are you…"
 
"Just hurry back, Loki," Thor said breathlessly. "We have much to talk about."
 
Without saying another word, Loki urged his steed to a gallop. It was only when
he was outside the walls of Asgard did he slow his mount to a trot, his fingers
fluttering over his tingling lips.
 
~~~~~~~~~~
 
As part of their education, the Princes of Asgard were required to learn every
bit of information they could about the Nine Realms. This would include
knowledge about each realm's geography, history, culture, and people. As a
result of said education, Thor and Loki had preconceived notions of the realms.
But no other kingdom has piqued their curiosity and interest more than
Jotunheim.
 
When the Bifrost delivered him with split second precision close to the
designated meeting point a short distance near the border, Loki could not help
but feel disappointed. Jotunheim was exactly as he had envisioned it to be—a
bleak landscape of crags and ice that towered above his head and which crumbled
with the brisk freezing wind that blew through the land. Instead of snow, the
surface of the Jotun earth was completely covered with hoar frost, creating
eerie fern-like patterns.
 
For some strange reason, however, Loki was not afraid. For all its strangeness,
Jotunheim felt like…home…to him. While Asgard's changing seasons made his
sensitive skin break out into a rash, he felt no such discomforts here. Instead
of being chilled to the bone, the near freezing temperature suited his body
very well.
 
Loki shook his head of his musings about his current environs, knowing that he
must not tarry any further. He wanted to return home to Asgard immediately, so
that he could have a word with his brother regarding that not-so-chaste kiss he
had been gifted with. A smile curled up the corners of his lips. Yes, he would
be very eager to hear Thor's explanation about that.
 
With a click of his tongue, he urged his steed into a canter, heading in the
direction of the outcrop of rocks in the distance which resembled a grotesque
skull. Loki had just covered half the distance when he saw another rider
approaching, clearly Jotun, basing his deduction upon the intricate loincloth
he wore which was visible with the way his gray cloak fluttered behind him. He
could not help but be impressed for the rider was sitting astride a roaring
frost beast, its sharp fangs gaping from its mouth and its breath coming out as
white clouds of steam.
 
As they drew their respective mounts to a halt, the Jotun descended first,
striding over to him. Like the others of his race, he was of towering height,
his head reaching up to Loki's shoulder while he sat on his mare. Before Loki
could get down from his horse as well, strong hands lifted him up from the
saddle by the waist and gently set him down on the ground. He blinked as the
Jotun got down on one knee and gave him the familiar Asgard salutation.
 
"Prince Loki, I presume," the Jotun said, his voice deep and echoing like a
well. "It is a great honor to meet you at last."
 
"You are… Angrboða?" Loki inquired. "Is this not a risk for you that you come
to meet me here alone?"
 
"Royal protocol does dictate that I greet a visiting envoy with an official
retinue, but doing so would attract Laufey-King's unwanted attention. Besides…"
The Jotun lifted his head then. For a Frost Giant, he was very attractive—with
rakish features, an aquiline nose, and sharp red eyes which would have pierced
its prey where it stood with its gaze if they did not hold a twinkle of
delight…and ardor…in them at the moment. The ornate lines and ridges that
curved and curled around his head and the large, bulging muscles of his body
only served to heighten the Jotun's physical beauty. Loki gasped as the Jotun
took his gloved hand and gallantly kissed his fingertips. "…I want the
unparalleled pleasure of meeting you all on my own." He looked at the Asgardian
measuringly. "And I must say, I am very impressed."
 
Loki pulled his hand out of Angrboða's grasp. "My lord, I believe that we have
much to discuss regarding your proposed alliance with Asgard. The Allfather
would not be very pleased with me if this diplomatic mission turns into a
courting ritual."
 
There was genuine confusion on Angrboða's face. "Why? Are they not one and the
same thing?"
 
Loki tried to recall his lessons on Jotunheim relations, but his mind could not
come up with a suitable explanation as to how the Frost Giant could possibly
equate an alliance negotiation with a formal courtship ceremony. To his growing
dread, he was getting the nagging suspicion that his father had conveniently
forgotten to tell him a crucial bit of information regarding his mission.
 
Before Loki could come up with a suitable argument, he found himself picked up
once more and seated on the back of the frost creature. Angrboða got on behind
him, his large arms enclosing the Asgardian prince between them.
 
"Your gatekeeper shall transport your horse back to Asgard," Angrboða reassured
him. "You and I have much to discuss, My Prince. I am certain that we will come
to a mutual understanding which would benefit both our realms."
 
As the Jotun flicked the reins and kicked his mount into a fast run, Loki was
as quiet as death. Curse you, Odin Allfather! What have you gotten me into this
time?
 
~~~~~~~~~~
 
Five days of nothing. This was how Loki would describe the period of time that
he had spent in Jotunheim.
 
In retrospect, he should have taken note of Angrboða's behavior during their
first meeting, because it certainly set the tenor for the tedious days that
followed.
 
The so-called "negotiations" were nothing but a farce. For all of the Jotun's
bluster, the disturbing reality was that he has no concrete plans on how he
would go about seizing the throne from King Laufey, whether it is through force
of arms or through the shrewd manipulation of the disgruntled highborns in
Utgard's court. He was even having serious doubts that Angrboða had supporters
to begin with. The whispers among the servants only confirmed what he long
suspected—that the Jotun's flowery words were naught but hot air.
 
What made his stay in Jotunheim a teeth-grating annoyance was Angrboða's
relentless pursuit of his attention and affections. It was easy for Loki to
turn a deaf ear to the Jotun's inane attempts at love poetry and other insipid
Asgardian courtship rituals (which he probably read from some obscure romantic
literature and did not even bother to confirm if they were true). But, when
Angrboða switched to more physical, rather heavy handed touches, Loki knew that
his frayed nerves could no longer stand the strain.
 
The only thing that prevented him from leaving Jotunheim was the ever constant
presence of Odin's ravens, Huginn and Muninn. He knew that his father was
watching him through the ravens' eyes when he was not sitting on Hlidskjalf.
Many times, Loki would beg the Allfather to permit him to conclude the business
with Angrboða, that it would not be a fruitful alliance. But no messages or
action from his father were forthcoming. All the ravens did were to sit at the
window sill or chandelier of the chamber where he was at and watch.
 
It was on the evening of the fifth day, during a particularly boisterous feast,
that Loki finally snapped. He was sitting at the head table in sullen silence,
picking at his food, while Angrboða regaled his guests of tales of his great
feats—all of them lies and poor crafted at that, in Loki's lofty opinion.
 
Loki stood up then, mumbling an excuse that he was not feeling well. Suddenly,
large, brawny arms grabbed him and, before he knew what was happening, he was
sitting on Angrboða's lap, feeling those large hands groping his chest over his
leather coat.
 
"Be happy for me, my friends!" was Angrboða's drunken and proud declaration.
"On the morrow, I shall be wedded to a Prince of Asgard! Very soon, both the
Golden Realm and Jotunheim shall fall into my hands!"
 
Furious, Loki shook himself free from the Jotun's grasp. "GET YOUR FRIGID PAWS
OFF ME!" he shouted, and his hand connected with Angrboða's cheek. Unmindful of
the seething fury in the Jotun's red eyes, Loki snapped, "Mead and ale has
drowned out what little wit you possess! Are you a fool that you think yourself
worthy of claiming the hand of Asgard's Prince? You are beneath me, silly
Jotun! I would much rather lie with a horse than sully myself with a filthy
Jotun with delusions of grandeur!"
 
Loki instantly regretted the words that flew out of his mouth when a strong
hand grabbed him by the neck. He thought the Jotun would tear his head off, but
it would have been the better option when he suddenly found himself slammed
down on top of the table.
 
"You think yourself above me, little prince, because I am a filthy Jotun?"
Angrboða spat the word 'prince' right in his face. "But of course, you would
know about lying with horses, since you have been fucked by one!"
 
Loki stared in shock at the angry Jotun. How did Angrboða know…unless… Before
he could offer a heated rebuke, he was flipped onto his belly on the tabletop,
so that he was now facing the laughing Jotuns in the banquet hall. In his
immense shame, it barely registered to him that Angrboða had jerked off his
belt and yanked his trousers down, baring his buttocks. A harsh cry was
wrenched from his lips as his ass was split open by the Jotun's enormous
member, the table beneath him rocking with every thrust.
 
"Tell me, Prince Loki, does that feel small to you? How do I compare to your
horse lover?" Loki heard Angrboða whisper lustfully in his ear.
 
The sudden invasion, however, had stilled the Liesmith's tongue. Worse, it
seemed as if every cell in his body was being permeated with the freeze of the
Jotun's hard flesh. To his horror, he saw that his hands—which were clinging to
the table's edge in front of him—were slowly turning blue.
 
"Stop!" Loki gasped, suddenly fearful that his body will succumb to frostbite.
"Get off me!"
 
But Angrboða did not heed his pleas. Instead, the Jotun's probing fingers
reached further down between his legs and inadvertently made a startling
discovery of a second orifice. Loki gritted his teeth as he felt himself
getting wet, his body preparing—no, betraying—him for yet another penetration.
Then, hard fingers dug into his hair and jerked his head up for all to see.
 
"Behold, my friends! He calls me 'filthy" when he himself is one of us!"
Angrboða roared. Loki cried out as the Jotun thrust his fingers deeper into his
female entrance. "And he is oh so ready to receive my seed!"
 
"Put him in his place!" one Jotun jeered raucously.
 
"Let the runt see what he has been missing all this time that he has been
strutting around in Asgard!" called out another.
 
"When you're done with him, share him with us!" Yet another Jotun called out
with lascivious glee.
 
Loki earned a brief respite when he felt Angrboða pull out of him. But then, he
found himself thrown over the Jotun's shoulder and carried away to the cheers
of the others in the banquet hall. Still weakened, Loki could only flop
helplessly on that broad shoulder as Angrboða brought him to his chamber.
Kicking the door shut behind him with a bang, the Jotun threw Loki on top of
his soft bed of frost and snow. As he divested the Asgardian of his clothing,
Loki's anguished eyes fell upon the window where Muninn and Huginn watched
impassively.
 
Raising a pleading hand to the ravens, Loki cried, "Father, help me! Please
don't let him do this to me!" To his dismay, however, the two birds just sat
there and continued to watch.
 
If no help was forthcoming from his father, he would rather fight and die while
protecting what little honor he still possessed. When Angrboða climbed on top
of his naked form, Loki fought back—throwing punches, raking nails over blue
skin, kicking out, anything. At one point, he even attempted to unleash a
powerful spell, but the wards in the Jotun's chamber caused his magic to fizzle
out. But all of his efforts proved to be in vain when Angrboða spread his legs
roughly and plunged into his female entrance this time. Still, Loki would not
give up, fighting with tooth and nail until that last, devastating moment when
the Jotun buried himself deep into the poor prince's body and spilled out his
frigid seed. And even that was not enough for Angrboða.
 
Throughout that night, Angrboða took him many times in both orifices, the
Jotun's lust fueling his body with energies that would wipe out even the most
amorous Asgardian. By this time, Loki was spent, his poor flesh nothing more
than a receptacle for the Jotun's insatiable ardor and disgusting seed. It was
while he was being bounced up and down on Angrboða's still inflated member that
he finally glimpsed his reflection on the icy walls of the Jotun's chamber. It
was that image which finally caused him to scream and his mind to shut down
completely.
 
Reflected back at him was a small, fragile, but undeniably blue, image of a
Jotun.
 
~~~~~~~~~~
 
The sun had yet to rise when Loki lifted his head from the bed. Although every
inch of his body was screaming in pain at the repeated ravishments that he had
to endure, he forced himself to get up, carefully pushing aside the heavy blue
arm that was lying on top of his blood- and come-streaked buttocks. As he all
but stumbled toward the door, it never entered his mind to find clothing or to
retrieve a garment from his chamber. There was only one thought on his mind—he
had to get away, he had to escape. Now.
 
Because of the feast the previous night, the hallways of Angrboða's keep were
devoid of servants, guests and guards. Limping, Loki walked through the empty
corridors, went down the long ice staircases to the entrance hall, before at
last squeezing through the heavy front doors. Although his body was being
pummeled by Jotunheim's icy winds, Loki would not stop his mournful march until
he was outside. He would have walked beyond the gates, but his knees gave out
on him and he fell to the frosty ground. Snowflakes dusted his dark hair as he
lay there for a couple of minutes.
 
Lifting his eyes to the heaven, Loki was about to call his father's name. But
remembering how Odin had permitted his violation, he chose to deliver his plea
for help to someone else.
 
"Heimdall, if you can hear me, please open the Bifrost," Loki rasped
plaintively. "I beg of you. Please bring me home."
 
Suddenly, there was an outraged roar behind him. Loki whirled around,
horrified, to see torchlights flickering on one by one in each and every window
of the keep. Furious shouts and commands came from within. There was no
mistaking Angrboða's voice.
 
"Heimdall, please!" Loki sobbed in desperation, his tears freezing into ice
upon his cheeks. "Don't let him hurt me again!"
 
Then, the front doors banged upon and an enraged Angrboða stood at the
entranceway, his red eyes flashing with rage. "YOU!" That cold, deep voice
caused Loki to shudder.
 
"HEIMDALL!"
 
To Loki's immense relief, a beam of warm gold fell upon him and he felt the
strong tug of the Bifrost as it brought him out of the hell from which he came.
The next thing he knew, he was collapsing into someone's arms and he could hear
the panicked whinnying of a horse.
 
No, not just any horse. It was his son Sleipnir.
 
"Loki, Brother! By the gods, who dared defile you?" Loki gazed up into Thor's
handsome face. He felt the soft velvet of the Thunder God's cloak being wrapped
around his naked form. "Damn it! I knew it was a mistake to let you go to
Jotunheim alone!"
 
"Forgive me, my prince!" It was Heimdall who spoke up then, and the
gatekeeper's dark eyes were heavy with pain and remorse. "I would have brought
you home sooner. But your father expressly forbade me from doing so without a
command from him."
 
"There is nothing to forgive, Heimdall," Loki whispered, his hand reaching out
to Sleipnir, who had tears streaming from his eyes. "The Allfather
wanted…this…to befall me."
 
"What?" Thor asked in disbelief. "I…I don't understand. Your defilement…how
could this be father's doing?"
 
Despite the pain that he was suffering, Loki forced himself to get to his feet.
"I will have words with the Allfather. Where is he now, Heimdall?"
 
"In Gladsheim with your mother, in a meeting with the Elders."
 
Loki was about to weave the spell that would bring him to Gladsheim, but then
he felt Thor seize his arm. "I do not want you to be with me when I confront
the Allfather, Thor. Things will be said about me, things which I do not wish
for you to hear and that will make you think ill of me."
 
"You are my brother, Loki," Thor, however, said adamantly. "No one knows you
better than I do. No words can persuade me otherwise, even if it comes from
Father's lips." Firm blue eyes held the younger god's tear-filled green ones as
he declared, "I love you, Loki."
 
"Ah, but I am no longer worthy of your love," Loki replied with painful regret.
 
Before Thor could say more, Loki cast the spell of teleportation. Ever with the
flare for dramatics, the two brothers appeared right at the heart of Gladsheim
amidst swirling red and green flames. Frigga and the Elders rose from their
seats, startled by the sudden appearance of Asgard's princes. Only Odin
remained seated on the High Chair, Huninn and Muninn perched on the carved
protrusions of the backrest.
 
"Loki," the Allfather began evenly, "have you come with good tidings for this
realm?"
 
Loki stepped away from his brother's protective embrace. Wrapping Thor's cloak
around his naked, aching body, he limped toward Odin. "Nay, My King." He spoke
the title with abject derision. "I come with a grievance for which I desire
explanations and recompense."
 
"And what grievance is this?"
 
At this prompting, Loki raised his voice in order for everyone in Gladsheim to
hear what he has to say. "The King sent me on a mission to forge an alliance
with a Jotun rebel who seeks to dethrone King Laufey of Jotunheim."
 
Murmurs instantly rose among the Elders. It was obvious on their wrinkled faces
that they knew nothing of this plan. The same confusion was mirrored on
Frigga's face.
 
Steeling himself for what was to come, Loki continued, "Instead, I had met with
an incompetent fool with delusions of a kingship that can never be
his…delusions which he should never have harbored…if it were not for the fact
that the King had promised his youngest son's hand to him. When I refused his
advances, the Jotun chose to stake his…claim…by violating my body in every foul
way imaginable."
 
At this revelation, the voices of the Elders became a deafening, outraged din.
The accusations of "Liar!" and "Liesmith!" no longer surprised Loki.
 
What did was his mother's strong voice which cleared the hateful words with a
single command of "Silence!" There was only bewilderment and turmoil on
Frigga's beautiful face as she demanded of her husband, "Odin! What have you to
say about this?"
 
The Allfather did not respond at first. Then, with measured slowness, he stood
up, descended the steps of the dais one by one, and approached his son until
they were face to face. What his father said next caused a tremor of dread to
creep up his spine.
 
"You've always possessed the gift of twisting the facts to suit your purposes.
Now…why don't you just tell us the truth?"
 
Loki stared at his father in bafflement. "What—"
 
As he addressed the Elders and his confused wife, Odin circled Loki slowly as a
ravenous predator would a defiant prey that would fight to preserve its life.
"Yes, I will not deny that I did send Loki on a mission to negotiate an
alliance with Angrboða of Jotunheim. What I never expected was for my own son
to try and seduce the Jotun for his own goal of gaining the throne of Asgard
for himself."
 
Loki was stricken speechless, his eyes widening in horror at the blatant lies
that were spewing from his father's mouth.
 
Odin, on the other hand, was not done by any means. Grinning smugly, he went
on, "It is a shrewd plan, if I do say so myself. If you had been successful in
your attempt at seduction, Angrboða would have been your thrall. He will do
anything for you. Even get rid of the rightful heir of Asgard's throne."
 
"LIES! ALL LIES!" Thor shouted in fury behind Loki.
 
"If Angrboða succeeds in usurping the throne of Jotunheim, you would become
ruler of not just one but two realms." Odin sneered at him. "But things did not
go your way, did they, Loki? Angrboða rebuffed your advances. Now you come
running back to Asgard with outlandish accusations of rape which I had
instigated. Tell me. Just how did you get into such a state?" Before his son
could stop him, Odin even went so far as to tug the cloak away partly so that
Loki's defilement was visible to all. "Did you get a horse to fuck you?" The
Allfather clucked his tongue disapprovingly. "You disappoint me, Loki. How
could I have a traitor for a son?"
 
"LIAR!" Loki cried in rage as he lunged for his father's throat. But the guards
seized him, preventing him from getting an inch closer.
 
"Take him to the dungeons this instant!" Odin shouted in command.
 
Desperate, Loki turned to Frigga as he struggled in the guards' grasp. "Mother,
I do not lie! Not for something as grave as this! Please, Mother! I'm begging
you to believe me!"
 
To his dismay, Frigga shook her head. "I don't know who to believe!" she wailed
in anguish. "Loki, you have spoken far too many lies!"
 
Loki's lips tightened in disappointment and heartbreak. "I told you this would
happen, Mother. I told you that you wouldn't believe me. I only hope that I
live long enough to see you regret this day."
 
"SILENCE, LOKI!" Odin ordered. "If you were not my son, I would have you
executed for treason! Perhaps I should have your lying tongue pulled out and
your lips sewn shut, so that your vile mouth will no longer spew its venom!"
 
"FATHER, NO!" Thor protested, only to find himself held back as well by more
guards.
 
As Loki was dragged away, the Allfather gave him a parting shot that tore at
his very soul. "You can forget about your dream of freeing Sleipnir. The horse
is mine…for as long as I live. Or for as long as he lives. Only death shall
separate us."
 
Loki roared in rage and anguish. "My son will never be yours, Odin Allfather!
While I still have breath in my body, I swear I will never stop until he is
free of your tyranny!"
 
Thor reached out his hand to the angry, struggling form of his brother. "LOKI!"
 
Loki stretched out his hand as well, so that the Thunder God was able to close
his fingers firmly around it. "I'm sorry, Thor!" he cried, his voice hoarse
from the force of his emotions. "Please tell Sleipnir I am so sorry!"
 
All too quickly, their hands were torn apart. Before he was hauled away to the
dungeons, the last image that was etched in Loki's mind was of Thor breaking
free and pummeling the guards with Mjolnir. In a matter of minutes, he was
thrown into a dark, dank cell heavily warded against his magic.
 
Two weeks later, Loki did not need his seiðr to tell him that he was once again
with child.
 
~~~~~~~~~~
 
Odin must have ordered his isolation because—with the exception of the guards
who peered through the barred window of his cell door and shoved the slop that
passed for food through the flap beneath—Loki received no visitors. Because of
this, no one knew about his condition. Although the rough homespun wool of his
prison clothes could not conceal his growing belly, none of the guards realized
that their prisoner was pregnant, because he always chose to sit in the darkest
corner of his cell.
 
For a time, in his despair, Loki thought of starving himself to death. However,
it was concern for the child growing inside his womb which made him dispel the
notion entirely. The babe itself soon became his only solace.
 
As he tenderly ran his fingers over his swollen belly, Loki would speak to the
child within. "Let me tell you about your brother Sleipnir," was his usual
beginning for every tale about his firstborn. He would then end it with, "I
hope you could meet him, my child. I am certain that you would love and care
for each other."
 
Loki would also regale his babe with stories of Thor—their many misadventures
as they were growing up. But remembering those happy times never failed to
bring him to tears.
 
"Your Uncle Thor can be dimwitted at times, but he is always so very kind,"
Loki would say as his tears trickled down his dirty cheeks. "I am sure that he
is fighting for us right now, so that we will be freed. Because he loves
us…loves me."
 
It was during these periods of loneliness and despondency that he would feel
his baby move. Not like Sleipnir's rambunctious twitches and kicks. The
movements of his second child was more like a gentle glide or slither, soothing
his stretched womb as well as his aching heart. There was no denying how great
was his babe's love for him, even while still in the confines of his body.
 
The birth of Loki's second son was not the pain- and terror-filled affair that
Sleipnir's conception had been. Mindful of his mother's weakened physical and
mental condition he made his own birth as painless as possible. As Loki slept
and dreamed, the babe carefully and gently slithered out of his mother's womb.
When his head and a third of his long body had emerged, only then did he untuck
his short, stubby legs which ended in hands with sharp claws, using them to
pull the rest of him out. Lovingly, he coiled his length around his sleeping
mother's body until his head rested before Loki's, his fin-like ears flapping
to cool the very pale cheeks. Unable to resist, he reached out with his scaly
hands to cup Loki's face, his forked tongue flicking over those parted lips.
 
At those sweet touches, Loki's eyes fluttered open, a happy smile forming on
his lips as he beheld his son blinking back at him through slitted pupils.
 
"Jormungand," was all he said in relief and gratitude as he took the serpent
that was his child into his tender embrace.
 
~~~~~~~~~~
 
While Loki was prepared to spend an eternity in his cell with Jormungand, it
was woefully fated that the time he would have with his second son would be
brief.
 
A mere two days after Jormungand's birth, Loki received an unexpected visitor.
 
He was napping on his cot of dried straw, coiled in Jormungand's body, when
Thor's bright, grinning face popped at his cell window. "Brother, you're free!
Mother and I have come to take you out of here!"
 
But as the cell door was opened, the first thing that the Thunder God saw was
his younger brother in the coils of a monster. Before Loki could fully rouse
from slumber and untangle himself from his son's embrace, Thor stormed over and
wrenched Jormungand from him.
 
"Vile creature!" Thor glared at the serpent in his grasp. Jormungand's fin ears
flapped rapidly as he opened his mouth to reveal fangs dripping with poison.
"You would dare to harm a Prince of Asgard while he sleeps!"
 
Frigga was equally horrified to see the serpent that was hissing and spitting
at her eldest son. Rushing to Loki's side, she exclaimed, "Were you bitten,
Loki?"
 
But as she gazed into her son's face, Frigga was stunned to see the anguish in
Loki's emerald eyes. "Please don't harm him, Brother! Jormungand would never
hurt me!"
 
"Gods!" Frigga could only gasp. "My son, please don't tell me…"
 
Irate at being held by his neck, Jormungand twisted his body and attempted to
strike at Thor. Reflex prompted the God of Thunder to throw the serpent outside
the cell, just as Odin arrived. As Jormungand hit the wall and slid to the
floor, the Allfather ruthlessly stepped on the poor serpent. Helpless,
Jormungand could only twist and writhe under his grandfather's cruel boot.
 
"Father, please! You can keep me in this dungeon for all eternity," Loki begged
in earnest. "But don't take Jormungand from me! You already possess Sleipnir!
Please! Not Jormungand too!"
 
To his dismay, however, Odin replied in abhorrence, "Now why would I want to
keep a horrid beast such as this?" He turned to Frigga and ordered, "Tend to
our son, Wife. I'm afraid that his incarceration has turned him mad as to
believe that a monster is his child." He then bent down and seized the hissing
and spitting serpent. "As for you, I shall banish you to a place where you can
do no harm to the youngest son of Odin."
 
"FATHER, NO, PLEASE!" was all Loki could cry as the Allfather departed with his
son. In his despair, he swooned in his mother's embrace.
 
When he finally awoke, Loki was lying on his bed in his own chamber. His
brother and mother sat on opposite sides of his bed. Thor was holding his cold
hand, his palm soothing and warm. Even Frigga was running her fingers through
his now clean and washed black hair. But, his heart needed no soothing.
 
To be free from their touch, Loki sat up abruptly, only to have his vision
whirl for a few minutes. As he waited for his head to settle, he felt Frigga's
hand on his shoulder.
 
"Loki, you must lie down," she urged him.
 
"I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY!" he snapped at her, unable to hide his resentment and
fury.
 
Frigga stepped back as though struck by a hard hand.
 
"Loki, please do not speak to Mother like that," Thor admonished his younger
brother. "It was she who never wavered in appealing to Father to grant you
clemency. The Allfather would never have listened to my pleas if not for her
aid."
 
"And why would you do that…Mother?" Loki glared at Frigga as he yanked the
blanket from his body. "Regretting that you did not believe what I told you
about Father? Well, it has happened. I should never have allowed you to
convince me to speak with him that day. Now, the damage has been done, and I
have only you to blame."
 
"LOKI!"
 
Frigga raised a halting hand to her eldest. Sighing heavily, she began with
trembling voice, "Yes, you can level all blame upon me for the misfortune that
has befallen you. But…"
 
"You still cannot believe me. Understandable. I am the God of Lies and Mischief
after all. Who would believe anything I say?" Loki stood up and went straight
to his closet. He took out his traveling bag and began putting clothes inside.
"If you truly desire to know the truth, you should speak to Heimdall…if Father
had not gagged him."
 
Thor approached his brother, confusion obvious on his face. "What're you
doing?"
 
"I am going to look for Jormungand," Loki said simply.
 
"Brother, you are not well from your long imprisonment. Why risk your health
for a monster?"
 
"That…monster…was the only one who gave me solace and protection while my own
kith and kin abandoned me to my fate!"
 
"Loki, I am so very sorry that I was not able to free you any sooner," Thor
could not conceal the hurt in his voice. "But I'm begging you. Do not go. If
that serpent is that important to you, I will help you look for it."
 
"You don't get it, do you, Thor? This is not just about Jormungand. I cannot
stand to look at you. ALL OF YOU!" Loki threw his fiercest gaze at his brother
and mother as he tightened the ties of his bag. "I need to get away from here!
Far away!"
 
He tugged off his bed gown and proceeded to put on his traveling clothes when
strong arms embraced him. For a moment, he stood very still, feeling only the
warm drops of tears upon his shoulder.
 
"Father banished Jormungand to Midgard. I was able to obtain that little
information from him," Thor whispered in his ear. "If you should learn to
forgive us…me, know that you still have a home here in Asgard. With
Sleipnir…and with me."
 
Although tears were threatening to pour from his eyes, Loki swallowed them
down. "Sentiment," he rasped bitterly. "They never did me any good."
 
~~~~~~~~~~
 
For several long years, Loki searched the realm of Midgard for his son.
Throughout his travels, he mingled with the people of the realm, immersed
himself in their trivial, little lives. He discovered that the Midgardians were
no different from the people of Asgard. While there were some who were quick to
show their kindness to a stranger, most looked upon him with distrust and even
outright hostility. For the tiny villages that sheltered him, he would offer
them his assistance as a healer and as counsel for matters of great import. For
those that turned him away, he showered them with cruel tricks and all sorts of
misfortune.
 
Still, despite the mixed reactions that he had received from the Midgardians,
Loki came to fall in love with the realm for its natural beauty, devoid of the
artifice and the ostentatious glitter of Asgard's golden edifices. He also
harbored some measure of admiration for the people themselves as they eked out
their daily lives with staunch patience and faith. They were also smart and
inventive, coming up with novel mechanisms that would make living and working
more convenient. If he could find Jormungand, Loki would have wanted to stay in
Midgard forever.
 
As fate would have it, however, it was not Loki who found Jormungand, but Thor.
 
He was cooking a meager supper in his tiny cottage when there was a knock on
his door. Believing that it was one of the people from the nearby village
requiring his healing services, he hastened to open it, only to discover his
older brother practically blocking the doorway.
 
"I know where Jormungand is," Thor said simply before Loki could slam the door
in his face. "I will take you to him."
 
Traveling through the air with the help of Mjolnir, the Thunder God told him
about how he found Jormungand by accident when he and the giant Hymir were
fishing in the great lake somewhere in the highlands. Apparently, it was the
serpent that Thor caught on his fishing line instead of a fish. But Loki did
not listen to his brother's rambling narrative. All he wanted was to see his
son again.
 
Before long, they arrived at the lake in question. As soon as Thor released
him, Loki hurried to the shore, gazing out at the wide expanse of murky blue
water before him.
 
"JORMUNGAND!" Loki called out desperately. "I AM HERE! PLEASE SHOW YOURSELF!"
 
For several moments, there was nothing but the sound of the lapping waves upon
the shore. Suddenly, the waters rose up before him like a gigantic pillar. They
just as quickly splashed back down into the loch, revealing the magnificent
head and long neck of his son.
 
"Mother…" Jormungand spoke to him inside his mind.
 
Overjoyed, Loki ran into the water and threw his arms wide on his son's scaly
body. "I have found you, Jormungand! I have found you at last!"
 
The serpent craned his long neck down in order to nudge Loki's face with his
flaring nostril. "I never despaired that you would find me. I've long felt your
presence, ever since you arrived in Midgard. I could have met with you. But…"
He added with regret as he looked at his environs. "…I could not leave the
safety of my home. I could only hope that you would find me here."
 
"It was your Uncle Thor who found you and brought word of you to me. Midgard is
such a huge realm. I doubt if I would have found you without his help."
 
There was only bitterness in Jormungand's mind voice as he trained his gaze
toward the God of Thunder. "Should I be grateful to him who had caused our
separation?"
 
"Jormungand, do not blame Thor. It was Odin Allfather who banished you here to
Midgard."
 
"That may be so, but it was he who tore me from your embrace. It was he who
threw me away in disgust at the Allfather, who in turn condemned me to eternity
in this realm. While I have no great love for he who banished me, greater is my
hatred for him who is the catalyst of my misfortune."
 
Loki caressed his son's face longingly. "Then, I guess this means that I could
not ask you to be with me, because I cannot give up on the love that I feel for
Thor."
 
Jormungand shook his head, forlorn. "Midgard is my home now. And…it needs me."
 
"I do not understand."
 
"You have traveled while you searched for me, Mother. You know about the
instability of Midgard's foundations. The earth plates shift frequently, which
could only lead to disaster to the people. You yourself may have felt the earth
quake beneath your feet."
 
"But what does this have to do with you?"
 
"As you can see for yourself, I have grown, Mother, during our long separation.
What you see before you is but a small fraction of the actual length of my
body. In fact, my body has grown so long that it can wrap around the whole of
Midgard. I can keep the plates from shifting by coiling my body tightly around
the realm and then securing myself by biting my tail."
 
"My son," Loki breathed out in pride and awe. "You would shoulder this
tremendous responsibility for this realm?"
 
"I love Midgard, Mother, just as much as you. I would not see terrible harm
fall upon it and its people."
 
Loki embraced Jormungand again. "Then I shall visit frequently. Next time, I
shall try to bring your brother Sleipnir with me."
 
"I would love that very much," Jormungand nuzzled against his mother tenderly.
"But, do not bring Thor with you when next you come to see me. I cannot forgive
him for what he did to me. I will not be held accountable for the things I
would do to him." Throwing one last heated glare at the Thunder God, the
Midgard Serpent dove into the waters of the loch.
 
Sighing, Loki walked back toward his waiting brother.
 
"What did he say to you?" Thor asked curiously.
 
"Nothing. It's just between me and him," Loki answered, not wanting to tell his
brother that his son wanted vengeance upon him. "Thank you for bringing me
here, Brother."
 
"Then…would you at last come home with me? Father…he is going to proclaim me
King in a week's time."
 
"My warmest congratulations to you, Brother!" Loki congratulated him. "I pray
that you wear the crown better than our father."
 
He was about to walk away but Thor grabbed his arm, causing Loki to stop and
look at him quizzically. "I…I need you, Loki. I fear that I am not yet ready
for it."
 
"You have prepared for this for your entire life. The Allfather would not
proclaim you King if he does not feel that you are ready."
 
"I cannot do it without you, Brother. You have been groomed to be my counsel. I
will have no other at my side, except you."
 
Loki stared back at Thor, almost drowning in the pools of earnestness that were
his bright blue eyes. "I am not welcome in Asgard. You know that."
 
"As King, no one will protest. I will make sure that you are welcomed. Despite
what you think, Mother has been desperately praying for your return."
 
Loki exhaled as he laid his palm over his brother's hand which continued to
hold on to his arm, clearly not wanting to release him. "Let me think about it,
Thor. I do not promise you anything. But I will think about it."
 
Although Thor beamed, there was a tinge of sadness in his smile. "Then, I will
continue to hope."
 
~~~~~~~~~~
 
On the day of the coronation, Thor was pacing in one of the dark waiting halls
near Valaskjálf. Unable to contain his fear and frustration, he hurled his cup
into the fire, the mead causing the flames to shoot up.
 
"Nervous, Brother?"
 
At that familiar voice, Thor whirled as Loki stepped from behind the banner.
Loki could see that Thor was startled by the raiment he had chosen to wear.
Although he always loved the color green, it was usually of the lighter shade.
Now, his attire was of the deepest green, so that it could almost be black. He
wore his breastplate, gleaming gold on top of it, as well as his gauntlets, and
a few similar embellishments. On his head was a helmet with the great curving
horns of a ram. Looking at the God of Mischief, one would think that Loki was
headed off to battle. But then again, Thor probably mused to himself, there
could be a battle of sorts if his younger brother were to finally face their
father again.
 
Thor laughed more from relief as Loki stood at his rightful place…by his side.
"Have you ever known me to be nervous?"
 
 
TO BE CONTINUED…
Chapter End Notes
     This is undoubtedly the longest chapter that I've ever written. It
     might take a little longer for me to come up with another chapter of
     this and my other stories because there is still so much work to be
     done on the coffee table book. But I will try to squeeze in some fic
     writing when I can manage it. Anyway, the title of the next chapter
     is "The Third Sin: Truth" and, yes, it will take place within the
     context of "Thor The Movie".
End Notes
     Believe me when I tell you, dear reader, that it was not my intention
     to write this particular story. However, while I was attending some
     meetings for the coffee table book, I found myself getting bored and
     ended up scribbling some paragraphs in my notebook. I certainly
     couldn't write more of "Otaku World" though because I have a tendency
     to grin and laugh while writing funny stories. I didn't want to give
     my clients the impression that I'm nuts. In any case, before I
     realized what I was doing, I have a very long chapter in my hands,
     not to mention similarly lengthy outlines for what would be three
     stories. At this point, I am not really sure if I should continue
     this, seeing that I have two other stories--"Otaku World" and "Rising
     Sun"--which I prefer to focus on. But I guess, in the case of this
     chapter, it was just begging to be written down.
     My apologies if this chapter has squicked anyone's fine
     sensibilities.
     Next chapter, it will be the story of Jormungand.
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