Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/4300167.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_(TV_2012)
  Relationship:
      Leonardo/Raphael_(TMNT)
  Character:
      Leonardo_(TMNT), Raphael_(TMNT)
  Series:
      Part 2 of Feelings
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-07-08 Updated: 2015-12-07 Chapters: 8/? Words: 20105
****** The Feelings of Love ******
by mechanicalmalware
Summary
     Takes place after Feelings. Raph and Leo are now an item.
     Unfortunately, they still haven't broken it to the family. But the
     question is, will they be able to? Or will the family find out before
     they have the chance? Also, Leonardo has some feelings of his own to
     sort out. Most of them pertaining to Casey's close friendship with
     Raphael...
***** Jealousy *****
It had been about ten weeks since Raph and I…got together. And I can honestly
say that these have been the best ten weeks of my life. In that time I’ve
learned so much about my hotheaded lover. Raph and I are closer now than we’ve
ever been before.I glanced over my shoulder at the turtle in question.
Raph was over by his punching back working out some frustration. He looked up,
his eyes searchingly surveying room until they finally landed on me. He
smiled.A big commotion crushed the moment and the two of us turned towards the
door.
And in walked Casey Jones. Raph’s human friend, who, at some point over the
past two weeks, had become the bane of my existence. Jones was always pulling
Raph away just when things began to get…well, for lack of a better word,
serious.
Raphael knew that it was frustrating me, and he’d taken to making fun of the
way I had started to grumble every time Casey came to visit. I growled a little
and right on cue, my lover sent me a knowing smirk.
Of course, Casey didn’t notice at all. He moved straight over to Raph and
leaned up against him. That was also something I didn’t really like about
Casey. Raph tells me I’m imagining things but I could swear that the human is
taking every chance he gets to feel Raph up. I just wanna tell him to keep his
hands off.
Unfortunately, there’s just one problem with that. Raph and I still haven’t
broken the truth of our relationship to the family yet. Surprisingly, I was the
one who insisted we get it over with and screw the consequences, but Raphael
wanted to wait. I think he’s afraid of being rejected. I keep telling him that
they wouldn’t do that to us, but that doesn’t provide him with much more than
temporary relief.
I returned to the present as Casey turned Raph around and wrapped an arm around
his carapace. My eyes narrowed. One more move like that and I don’t think I’ll
be able to prevent myself from doing something rash.
They’re so close. Within inches of each other. My blood is beginning to boil.
Raphael may have the most flippant temper in our family, but he certainly isn’t
the only one. My temper may not be as easily triggered as Raph’s, but all of my
brothers know not to aggravate it. Because doing so can lead to extremely
dangerous situations.
Raph was smiling that easy going little smile that I’d grown used to having
directed at me. By this point I was burning with jealousy. Jealousy?
That made me pause. What the shell do I have to be jealous of? Raph loves me,
not Casey. I’m the one Raph cuddles up against every night. I’m the one who he
trusts with his life. But…then again, he probably trusts Casey with his life
too.
I love Raphael. So much. And he loves me. I took a few deep breaths and willed
away the anger. There was no reason to be jealous. Raphael loves me. He loves
me.
Suddenly I realized that Raph was looking at me. “Leo? You okay?”
Casey turned towards me, as though realizing I was there for the first time.
“Oh, hey Leo.” Then he turned back to Raph, “So as I was saying, you wouldn’t
happen to be interested in joining me?”
My eyes narrowed, it sounded to me as though Casey was going to get himself
into trouble. And if that was so…I didn’t want Raphael getting dragged into it.
Because every time Raph went off with Casey, at least one of them came back
injured. And it was usually Raph. I didn’t blame Casey for that. I know for a
fact that when it comes to our human friends Raphael is more than willing to
take a majority of the hits. We all are. But Raphael especially has a very
protective nature. He hates seeing others hurt so he always tries to bear the
brunt of the injuries. And that's what worries me.
“Just where are the two of you headed?” I asked.
Casey gave me a reluctant look, but at Raph’s nod he answered, “Warehouse
district. We’re gonna bust some heads.”
I frowned. My eyes noted how Raph’s hands clenched and his posture
straightened. He was tense. I bit my bottom lip and thought it over carefully.
“Alright.”
Raph’s eyes light up and he smiled appreciatively. Casey whooped in victory and
began to pull Raph towards the door. Raphael pulled his hand away from Casey’s
and whispered, “I’ll catch up. Meet you outside.” Casey raised an eyebrow, but
did as asked.
Raph came to my side, smiling openly. I smiled back. He wrapped his arms behind
my head. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” I murmured. He kissed me passionately. I let out a hum of
pleasure and reciprocated. We pulled away much sooner than I would have liked,
but I knew he had to get going. “Be careful.”
“I will.” He stated. The tone in his voice and the gleam in his eyes promised
it to me.
I nodded. “I love you.” I whispered.
“Love you too.” He whispered back before pulling away and heading out the door.
I watched him go with a goofy smile on my face.
Little did we know…we were being watched.
***** The Scientific Method *****
Chapter Summary
     Raphael and Leonardo had no idea they were being watched. Their
     observer, oddly enough, is not too surprised.
Donatello took a few steps back from his vantage point. He had seen and heard
everything. It was…an interesting development to say the least, but the genius
certainly wasn’t very surprised. At first Donatello, like the rest of his
family had just believed that his older brothers had finally managed to balance
their conflicting qualities. In a way they had, but just not in the way that
everyone had originally thought.
Donnie had begun to suspect that his older brothers’ relationship had become
something more than fraternal when he’d been plagued by insomnia. Unable to
sleep, the smart turtle had wandered from his room, his intention being to head
for the lab. He was stopped dead in his tracks at the entrance to the main room
where he saw Raphael, hotheaded, angry Raphael, cuddling up to Leonardo’s side.
That might not have been quite so suspicious if Leo hadn’t also wrapped his arm
around the red-masked turtle in an almost spouse-like manner. That was when
Donatello’s suspicions had begun.
The brainiac had always considered himself a scientist. And, even in household
situations like this, Donatello always followed his own paths of logic. In this
case he had hypothesized and after careful observation, concluded that there
was something more going on here. And now this kiss had just confirmed it. No
sense beating about the bush.
Don moved forward. By this point Raphael was long gone and Leonardo was alone
in the main room. “Leo.” Donnie called.
The eldest whirled around to face the smart turtle. “Yeah Don? What’s up?”
“Can I talk to you?” Leo nodded and motioned Donatello to go ahead. When the
purple masked turtle shook his head, Leonardo raised an eye-ridge. “In
private.” Don said, his voice slightly lowered.
Both of Leo’s eye-ridges shot up, but he nodded and led Donnie down the hall to
his room. Once they were there, the eldest gestured Don to sit, but the younger
turtle refused. Leonardo took a seat on the bed and looked expectantly up at
the brainiac.
Donatello hesitated, trying to find the best words for this. “I know,
Leonardo.”
The eldest turtle looked confused, then the truth behind Donnie’s words dawned
on him and every muscle in his body tensed.
Don ignored Leo’s reaction and went on, holding up a hand to prevent the blue-
masked turtle from interrupting. “Leonardo, relax. I’m not going to tell the
others.”
Leo stared at Donatello as though the genius had suddenly grown another head.
“You…You’re not…you’re okay with it?” the eldest stammered in disbelief.
“I have no objections. I wouldn’t judge you guys, Leo. I just wish that you
would have trusted me enough to tell me earlier.”
Leonardo had enough sense to lower his head. “I—we wanted to tell you. All of
you, but Raphael…he’s afraid that…”
“He’s afraid you’ll be shunned or forced apart.” Don suggested.
Leo nodded. “Exactly. But I won’t allow that to happen, Don. It would hurt Raph
too deeply.”
Donatello nodded with understanding. “I know. That brings up another point.”
The brainiac reached back and brought down his bo. “I trust that you have
ensured this relationship is one hundred percent consensual.” Don stated evenly
as he unsheathed the naginata on the end of his staff. Though the words were
spoken in hushed tones, the threat that lay beneath them was abundantly clear.
Leonardo’s eyes narrowed into a glare. “Donatello, if you’re suggesting that I
would ever force anything on Raphael—”
Before he could finish the smart turtle cut him off, “Just making sure Leo. I
suppose you also know what will happen if you ever hurt him?”
Dark blue eyes darkened with understanding. Donatello had a way of threatening
people just subtly enough that he could get his point across and still leave
the addressee feeling extremely uncomfortable.
After a short silence, Leo spoke slowly, his voice low and rough, “If I ever
did hurt him…” Don looked down into Leo’s eyes. The eldest turtle yanked his
gaze away and admitted softly, “…I’d never forgive myself.”
Don smiled a little and put his hands on Leo’s shoulders, prompting the older
turtle to glance up at him once more. “I wish the two of you all the happiness
in the world.”
Leo smiled. “Thanks Don.” There was a small pause and Leonardo confessed to the
purple-masked turtle, “We’ve been…together for about ten weeks now. I can
honestly say that they’ve been the happiest ten weeks of my life.”
Don returned the smile. Then something else popped into his head. A thought
that was completely unbidden, but that needed to be discussed none the less.
The atmosphere grew thick once more as Don glanced over at his eldest brother.
“I don’t suppose I have to give you lessons on the birds and the bees?”
Leo was slightly taken aback and he stammered a little. “Um…well I…I don’t
think so. But I would appreciate it if you could allow me to have access to
your computer. You know, in case I do need…” Leo’s cheeks were practically the
color of Raph’s mask. He cleared his throat and finished, “ahem…instructions.”
Donatello smirked mischievously, “Well, you shouldn’t have to worry too much. I
hope you won’t mind my asking but just how far along are you two?”
Leonardo’s blush turned crimson, but he still made an effort to cooperate.
“Uh…third base, give or take a little fluctuation.”
“Hm. Well I expect the dominant is the one who’s going to need most of the
instruction for the first few times.” Don murmured.
At Leonardo’s confused stare Donatello raised an inquiring eye-ridge. The
eldest turtle's answer was slow, and almost wary,“Um, I’m the dominant, Don.”
Both of the genius’ eye ridges shot up. That definitely wasn’t what he was
expecting. Raphael was very fierce about his dominance in everything. Training,
video games, the hothead always fought to ensure that he came out on top. It
shocked the techy turtle to know that the stubborn, hotheaded Raphael would
allow himself to be dominated and especially by Leonardo. “I—” Donnie coughed,
“I must admit that isn’t what I had expected.”
“You thought Raph would have wanted to top.” Leo stated. Donatello nodded and
Leo began to explain, “I thought so too, and I was willing, but Raph insisted.
I think he’s afraid that he’ll hurt me. And in all honesty Don, I’m terrified
that I’ll hurt him.”
This time Donnie actually took a seat next to Leonardo on the bed. The purple-
masked turtle put a comforting hand on his eldest brother’s shoulder. “Leo. I
think both you and I are mature enough to realize that your first time is going
to be very painful for Raphael. But the fact that he is willing to take on that
role is an inestimable display of his trust in you. I hope you realize that.”
“I do, Donnie, I do. But before we can even begin to think about that the two
of us need to figure out how to tell the rest of the family. I mean what the
shell are we supposed to do just walk right up to ‘em and say: ‘hey we’re gay
and we love each other’ ? Somehow I don’t think that will go over too well.”
Don shook his head. “No, it probably won’t. But don’t worry too much about it,
Leo. I’ll be there for you. For both of you. I’ll fight for you to the bitter
end.”
Leonardo smiled. “Thanks Don. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
“I think I have a pretty good idea.” Don replied with a smirk. Leonardo smiled
at the young purple-masked turtle as the brainiac stood and headed for the
door. “Oh, and Leo.” The blue-masked turtle looked up at his brother’s call,
“don’t wait up too late for Raph. Just because he decides to spend all night
using energy when he should be saving it doesn’t mean you have to do the same.
Goodnight.”
“Goodnight Don. Thanks again.”
“Anytime, bro.” came the soft reply as the genius left the room. Leonardo
stared up at the ceiling, his mind in overdrive as he thought through all of
the things his intelligent brother had said. Indeed, he had a lot of things he
needed to think about.
***** Overwhelmed *****
Chapter Summary
     Casey and Raph are having a nice night on the town. Until Casey does
     something that gets Raphael in a tizzy as the red-masked turtle comes
     to the surprising realization that Leo isn't the only one interested
     in him...
Raphael left the lair feeling elated. He really appreciated all the things Leo
did for him.
Their relationship had really blossomed in the last ten weeks. Leonardo finally
understood Raph’s need for escape every once in a while and so far had been
really considerate.
Raph was oddly contented. He lived for the moments that he and Leo were sharing
together. The silent touches, the soft caresses, the ever-so-subtle
glances…they made Raphael feel wanted. Wanted and cherished.
He smiled goofily.
Leo was such a sappy guy at heart. Fearless will probably get himself all
worked up and be waiting on the couch when he got home. But Leo would also be
so relieved that their lovin’ would be a little more intense than usual, and
that suited him just fine.
The hothead was pulled abruptly from his thoughts as he realized something. “Yo
Case, wait up!”
Casey stopped and turned back to him.
Bright green eyes narrowed. “This isn’t the way to the warehouse district.”
Casey Jones flipped up his mask and his painted face smirked back at his
friend. “Good, cause that’s not where we’re going.”
Raph frowned and crossed his arms. “But you told Leo—”
“Leo schmeo, we’re gonna have some fun!”
“Casey, why would you lie to Leo?” Raph asked. It was no secret that he was
less than pleased.
Casey shrugged. “I think it’s about time you stopped letting ‘Leo’ rule your
life, man. Besides, it’s not like you’ve never lied to him.”
Raphael opened his mouth to argue, but any attempt failed him. Casey had a good
point. He had lied to Leo countless times in the past, but that was the past.
Raph really wanted to turn over a new leaf, to prove himself to his lover. Then
another thought occurred to him: If Casey lied to Leo then his plans must be
somewhat objectionable. After all, why would he lie if there were no need?
Neon green eyes narrowed dangerously, “Then where are we going?”
Casey’s smirk was positively prime evil. He sauntered over to his green friend
and draped an arm over the mutant’s broad and muscular shoulders. “We are going
to the club! We’re gonna dance all night, man! It’s gonna be sweet!”
Raph shrugged Case’s hand off. “Club?! Are you insane?! What are you playing at
Casey, do you want me to get stuck on some lab table? Not to mention the fact
that we’re underage!”
Jones held up his hands. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down Raph. It’s not that big a
deal. This place is really off the map. Not only that but it’s a costume club.
You’re not allowed in unless you have a totally outrageous costume. No one is
ever gonna suspect that you’re actually a real turtle.”
Raphael was quickly growing apprehensive. “I—Casey, I’m not doing this. If the
others find out…”
“Well, who’s gonna tell ‘em? Huh, Raph?” Slowly the human reached over and
gently grabbed Raph’s hands. “I know how much you love to dance, dude. So just
let yourself go and let’s do this. You’re never gonna get a better chance.”
Casey knelt down so that he could look up into Raphael’s eyes. He frowned. The
human didn’t know why, but it seemed as though Raph had been pulling away from
him. The hotheaded turtle seemed really preoccupied and Casey had a hunch that
Leo had something to do with it. From what little he’d been able to glean from
April and the other turtles they hadn’t fought much at all for the past two
months. Casey had hoped that would mean that Raph was ready for a little
release, but he still seemed awful apprehensive.
As soon as Raph registered what position they were in he yanked his hands away
and turned his carapace to his friend. He really didn’t know what to think. Or
do, for that matter. On one hand the hothead really wanted to spend some
quality time with his best friend. On the other…what the shell was he gonna say
to Leo? Bright green eyes turned and made contact with Casey’s big brown ones.
And he suddenly found himself unable to refuse. “O-Okay.  We’ll go.” Casey was
about to whoop in victory, but Raphael held up a hand and went on. “But only
for a couple of minutes. And no dancing. The last thing I need is to draw
attention to myself.”
Casey’s smile melted quicker than sugar in water. “You sound like Leo.” The
teenager pouted. He frowned. That comment seemed to have distracted Raphael.
Raph had been a little thrown by Casey’s words at first, until he realized that
the human was right. A wistful smile graced his lips. Leo.
Casey Jones cleared his throat loudly and Raph snapped back into the here and
now.
Raph shook his head. Ugh. Come on Raph keep it together. Casey’s already
suspicious enough as it is. The last thing you need is for your best friend to
find out you have the hots for your own brother.It wasn’t the Raphael thought
Casey would object, but…well, there was just that feeling in the back of his
mind that somehow Jones wouldn’t take it well.
About half an hour later the two of them were in line for the club. A hockey
masked vigilante and red masked turtle tucked neatly in line amongst
werewolves, cowboys, dinosaurs, ghouls, Draculas, and a couple of other ninjas.
Amazingly enough they were able to make it inside with no questions asked. Once
they were there, however, the tone shifted.
“Come on, Raph, just one dance.” Casey pleaded, tugging on Raphael’s arm.
Raph shook a little in discomfort but didn’t actively try to dislodge the
human. Case was pretty much the only one that Raphael allowed the privilege of
physical contact.
And Jones took advantage of that fact. Despite Raphael’s mutant physique, which
most people would find unattractive, there was something about him that Casey
Jones found absolutely irresistible. The red-masked turtle was so sexy and it
amazed the human that Raph didn’t even realize it.
Truth be told, Casey had difficulty keeping his hands off. The muscular turtle
was very, very attractive. Before he mentally processed what he was doing the
human’s hand dipped down and tugged on the elusive little tail that lay hidden
there.
Raph jumped and he went completely still.
One glance down at his friend, and Casey knew he was in trouble. Raph’s eyes
were on fire. “Umm…Raph, buddy…?” He chuckled nervously.
Raph backhanded the human so hard that Case fell backwards into a table.
Casey looked up at the people eating there, who looked completely stunned. He
smiled. “Sorry. Guess I was a little bit of a jerk. Probably deserved that.” He
stood and chased after Raphael as the red masked turtle stormed towards the
exit. “Hey wait up! Raph!”
Raph just kept going, completely tuning out the human’s objections. The
hotheaded turtle’s cheeks were burning. Leo was right. He couldn’t believe it.
Casey had a thing for him. How could he have been so blind? Yeah, Case was
subtle about it until now, but…how could he not have noticed?
Oh crap, Leo was gonna be pissed. He needed to get home right now. This was too
much. It was all too much.
Raph had never run faster in his life. Too much. Just too much.
As soon as he burst back into the lair, Leonardo jumped to his feet. “Raph?!
What’s wrong? Are you alright?”
Raph’s breathing was heavy from sprinting practically all the way across New
York City.
Leo grabbed Raph’s shoulder and rubbed his carapace soothingly. Raphael was an
emotional wreck. That much was clear.
Just as the hothead was finally calming down, Casey Jones burst into the lair
glancing around searchingly. As soon as his eyes fell on Raph and Leo standing
near Raph’s punching bag he rushed over.
Raphael moved to his older brother’s other side, putting Leo between Casey and
himself.
Leo may not have understood everything, but that one move on from Raphael had
told him all he needed to know. “Casey, I think you should go.”
“Butt out, Leo. I’m not leaving until I talk to Raph.”
“Not now Casey. Whatever happened, I think it’s pretty obvious that Raph
doesn’t want to talk to you right now.” Leo stated, standing firm, and blocking
Casey’s path as best he could as the human tried to get around him to reach
Raphael.
“Leonardo, so help me if you don’t move I’m gonna hit you with one of my bats!”
“And if you hurt my brother I’ll slice all of your equipment into bite-size
pieces!” Leo retorted, baring his katanas threateningly.
Raph placed a hand on Leo’s shoulder to calm his older brother. He was still a
wreck, but he was slowly regaining control of his raging emotions. Slowly he
moved out from behind the older turtle. Leo lowered his katanas a little and
sent Raph a questioning glance that said: Are you sure about this?
Raph’s shaky nod was a little less than convincing. Leo trusted his lover’s
instincts and put the katanas away, but turned the handles so that he could
whip them out in less than a second if need be.
Casey reached out, as though to put his hand on Raph’s shoulder, but the red-
masked turtle jerked away violently.
“Don’t.” The red masked turtle stated dryly. His eyes flashed dangerously.
“Don’t you dare.”
“Raph, I’m sorry. I lost control. I didn’t mean to embarrass you, dude. I
just…”
“You didn’t just embarrass me, Case. You crossed a line. You were my best
friend…are my best friend. But you’re not my lover.”
Leo’s eyes narrowed and flashed dangerously. When he spoke, each word was low
and clearly enunciated. “What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Do?”
Casey drew back from Leo’s rare show of temper. This time Raphael was the one
standing between Leonardo and the human. The red-masked turtle put a hand
against Leo’s chest, holding his enraged lover back and draining some of the
anger away.
Neon green eyes glared at Casey. “It doesn’t matter, he’s not gonna do it
again. Right Casey?”
Leo wrapped his arms around Raphael from behind and pressed the side of his
face against the red-masked turtle’s, before turning his head and kissing
Raphael’s neck softly. Raph literally melted under Leo’s fingers and purred at
the contact.
Casey’s eyes were wide. From what Raphael could tell the human wasn’t
disgusted, but he definitely didn’t seem pleased. Raph wasn’t certain, but he
was pretty sure Leo was smirking.
Leo was smirking. His smirk was wider and more satisfied than any other smirk
he’d shown in his short history of smirking. Short because he did not smirk
very often. Only when he was feeling incredibly good about himself. And this
was one of those moments. He was so very pleased by the way Casey squirmed as
his fingers gently stroked Raph’s hips and held him close. He was pleased to
have the human know what he had silently been enduring for the past two weeks.
Casey felt like he’d been hit in the chest by a hockey puck. He couldn’t
believe that Raph hadn’t told him…
“We wanted to keep it under wraps until we were certain it was working. I’m
sorry, but I was afraid you’d…”
Casey’s glare softened. “You thought I would reject you?”
Raph looked away. Leo could feel Raph’s hands shaking and he wasted no time in
moving to hold the red masked turtle’s hands in his.
“I would never…”Casey began, but Raph cut him off.
“Alright, I was stupid, okay? I was just afraid.” Silence ensued. Finally Raph
cleared his throat. “I think you should go.” The red-masked turtle stated
slowly.
Casey rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “So uh…we all good?”
“Yeah. We’re good.” Raph said with a light smile.
Casey returned the smile, then he looked at Leo. The blue-masked turtle still
had his arms around Raphael. They made eye contact and finally the human spoke.
“You better treat him right.”
Leo hummed and Raph turned to glance back as best he could.
“Because if you don’t, I’ll be the first one to come after ya.” Jones finished
threateningly.
“Actually, you’ll be third.”
Casey gave Leo a rather bewildered stare before nodding his acquiescence and
leaving almost as abruptly as he came.
As soon as the human was gone Leo spun his partner around so that Raph was
facing him. “You stopped him from telling me what he did.” He stated plainly,
staring sternly down into his immediate younger brother’s eyes. “Why?”
Raph put his hands on Leo’s shoulders and stared straight back. “Because I
prefer my human friends alive, thank-you-very-much, and I didn’t feel like
explaining to Sensei how I got stuck between you and Casey in the middle of a
fist fight…or worse a weapons fight.”
Leo’s eyes glinted “I would never hurt you.”
“I know. But if you knew you would have completely lost it.”
“That bad?” Leo asked, a slight tinge of worry in his voice.
“I back-handed him harder than I’ve ever bitch-slapped anyone in my life.”
Leo stared.
Raph went on. “Yes it was that bad.”
Now Leonardo was getting really apprehensive. He tilted Raph’s head up as the
red-masked turtle tried to look away. “What. Did. He. Do?”
The muscular turtle went stock-still.  Slowly he admitted, “He…um, he pinched
my tail.”
Leo’s eyes went wide. They stayed that way for almost a full minute. And
honestly, it was beginning to scare Raphael. Slowly, the hothead spoke once
more. “Leo? C’mon you’re scaring me bro.”
The next thing Raph knew, he’d been seized and practically smothered alive as
Leonardo kissed him. The kiss was so intense, so possessive, that Raphael’s
legs actually gave out. Leo’s arms nearly buckled as he suddenly found himself
supporting all of Raph’s weight. The blue-masked turtle hoisted the younger
turtle up and pulled delicately away from the kiss. “I’ll kill him.” He
growled, turning abruptly towards the door.
Unfortunately fro Raphael his legs gave out and he cried out. Luckily for
Raphael, Leonardo spun around at the first sound of Raph’s falling and caught
him before he hit the ground.
Deep blue eyes were wide. “Are you alright? Can you stand?” Raph’s bright full
smile made Leo’s heart throb. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”
“You’ve muttered something about it once or twice.” Raph said with a smirk.
Leo decided that he’d deal with Casey later. Right now all that mattered was
Raphael. He kissed his lover once again.
Raph pushed out of the kiss, holding Leo by the shoulders. “So why did you tell
Casey he’d be third to get at you?”
“Hmm?” Leo answered distractedly, still swirling from that last kiss.
“What did you mean by third?” Raph repeated a little more forcefully.
“Third? Um, well…Donnie knows.”
“WHAT? You told Donnie?!” Raph yelled, shaking Leo angrily.
Leo’s eyes narrowed. “I didn’t tell him, he deduced. I mean, come on Raph, us
not fighting for ten weeks straight? They’re bound to be curious.”
“Fine, then we’ll just have to stage fights every once in a while to keep them
from wondering.” The hothead stated, sounding very much like an eight year old
child.
“What? Raph, be reasonable. We can’t hide it from them forever. Eventually
they’re all going to find out anyway. Please, love. I want to be with you
openly. I hate having to hide my affections. I hate not being able to stake my
claim on you in front of would-be competitors like Casey.”
Leonardo suddenly found that his face was being cradled in Raphael’s hands. “No
one can compete with you, Leo. There would be nothing to compete for. You
already have my heart.”
Leo’s cheeks burned. His heart was like a flame. He was on top of the world.
There was nothing that could ruin this moment. He was filled with joy. He swept
his younger brother up into his arms and stormed off down the hall.
Raph laughed and swatted Leo’s head affectionately as his older brother carried
him down the hall to the leader’s room.
***** Terror *****
Chapter Summary
     What starts as a very normal patrol quickly turns into one of
     Leonardo's worst nightmares. Leo's racing against time and the only
     feeling stewing in his chest is absolute terror.
Running. That was all Leo could dare focus on: the sound of his feet hitting
the ground heavily as he sprinted his way back to the lair. Never mind the
added weight of the brother he currently had slung over his shoulder. Raph…
No. He couldn’t afford to get distracted he had to get home now! Still, despite
his attempts to keep memories at bay, images of earlier flashed before his
eyes.
Flashback (the night previous, following Casey Jones’ departure)
Raphael and Leonardo lay side by side on Leo’s bed. Forest green fingers
stroked Raphael’s sides slowly.
“Turn around.” Leo whispered.
Raph did a double-take, unsure he heard the older turtle correctly. “Huh?”
“I said turn around, please?” At that point the blue-masked turtle’s fingers
ghosted over a very sensitive spot in Raphael’s side.
Raph gasped and his eyes shut from the sensation of his older brother’s
fingers. When he spoke, his voice was breathless, “Anything for you.” He
murmured as he did as Leo asked.
Raph shivered as his lover’s hands softly caressed his shoulders.
Leo pulled himself flush as close to the younger turtle as he could. A series
of light, fluttering kisses and a couple of playful nips at the base of Raph’s
neck left the hothead not much more than a moaning mass of muscle. The younger
turtle was putty in his older brother’s hands.
Speaking of hands…Leo’s right hand had begun to move down the back of Raphael’s
carapace. It came to a stop at the emerald green turtle’s little tail, slightly
tucked into the shell.
At the soft ministrations, Raphael’s neon green eyes shot open and he turned
his head to try and catch Leo’s eye. The fingers on his tail repeated stroked
the little appendage and Raph’s breath grew labored and shaky. Gentle lips
kissed the side of Raph’s head just above the ear. “Did he touch you anywhere
else?” The eldest turtle growled.
Raph’s cheeks colored. That’s what all of this was about? Leo was so possessive
sometimes…not that Raph was complaining.
Raph smirked and shrugged, “Just the usual. Shoulders, hands, arm.”
Leo’s fingers slowly began to trace the thick, chiseled muscles in Raph’s
shoulders, every once in a while rubbing out the tension that lay there.
“Mmmmm.” Raph practically purred as he leaned into his older brother’s touch.
End Flashback
The eldest turtle’s heart filled with despair at the thought that he might
never share such a moment with his beloved again.
Please…Leo thought, Please, hang in there Raphael. I love you so much. I can’t
lose you now, not after we just found each other.
Please, please, don’t take my love from me…
The ninja leader was already running as fast as he could, bounding over
rooftops and down through twisted alleys and finally into the sewers.
Oh Raph, why did you do it?
===============================================================================
 
Leo couldn’t help but think back to earlier that very evening…
So far, it had been a very normal night. No sign of any dangerous or unusual
activity. No Foot soldiers, no wayward mutants, all quiet. Raphael let out an
over-exaggerated sigh. “Oh, come on, Leo. We’ve already done two sweeps of the
city so far and it’s all quiet. Now why can’t we just go home and enjoy the
rest of the evening, huh?”
Oh, if only I had done as he asked… Leo thought as he glanced at the injured
form on his shoulders.
But instead of doing what the hothead had asked, the blue-masked leader had
crossed his arms over his plastron and tapped his foot. “We need to do one more
time around, Raph, just to be sure.”
“Come on, Leo. You’re not gonna find anything, besides it’s getting late, we’re
all tired and Sensei’s gonna kick our shells in early-morning training tomorrow
if we’re not properly rested.”
The eldest sighed. “Fine. You three go home then. I’m gonna do one last round.”
Mikey and Don nodded and bounded away, eager to return to the lair and get some
sleep.
Raph failed to budge. “Fine. I’m going with you.”
Leo sputtered in shock. “But I thought you just said…”
“Consider it an opportunity for us to be alone together. Besides, it’s not like
I’d let you go off on your own. You have a talent for getting yourself into
trouble.”
The blue-masked turtle scoffed. “Look who’s talking!”
Raph just rolled his eyes and waved the comment away.
The last lap of the patrol went smoothly, right up until the point where they
reached the docks. There was a loud bang, followed by a smooth mechanical whir.
Raphael and Leonardo exchanged wary glances. Raph, ever the hothead whispered,
“Well, let’s go check it out!” He moved to head over, when a cool hand caught
his shoulder.
“No, it could be dangerous.”
Raph’s stare practically screamed: If it weren’t dangerous, what the shell do
you think I’m doing here?
Leo rolled his eyes, but eventually, after weighing the pros and cons, decided
it would be best to investigate. “When we go in, we go in together. Ready?”
Raph nodded.
“Three, two, one.”
Two turtle siblings burst out from behind the crates where they could get a
better look at their adversary.
Neon green eyes widened in shock. “Newtralizer?! Why the shell are you still on
earth?”
“Raaka, Raaka, Rooka, Raaka!” Newtralizer yelled as his blaster began to charge
to full power.
Raphael didn’t know what came over him. He didn’t even know that he’d made the
decision to move. But seeing that weapon pointing straight at Leo’s chest made
him snap. “LEO!”
Leo toppled to the ground as his immediate younger brother lunged into him. But
instead of the red-masked turtle landing beside him, or on top of him, as Leo
had expected, a great ringing impact filled the air, followed by a thud, a
crack, and the sound of breaking wood. Leo shot up before the dust had even
cleared, his heart dreading what he would find.
“RAPH!”
Leo’s cerulean eyes widened in horror as he realized that the blast had sent
Raphael flying across the shipping yard and straight into wooden cargo
container. The leader couldn’t help but feel the unease creeping into his chest
as the emerald green turtle failed to move.
A scurry of movement behind him reminded Leo that he wasn’t alone. Leo turned
just in time to see Newtralizer coming at him with a clenched fist. The fist
made contact with the eldest turtle’s upper torso and sent him skidding a few
feet backwards. But Leo wasn’t about to take that from anyone. Not while
Raphael was laying motionless in a pile of broken wood.
When he spoke his voice was cool and level, but Leo’s eyes spoke volumes for
the amount of anger that welled up inside of him. “No one hurts Raphael and
gets away with it.” With that said, the blue-masked turtle surged forward, his
eyes white with anger and his katanas pointing dangerously at his adversary.
Leo sliced into Newtralizer’s side with ease and plenty of satisfaction. He
made short work of the alien, making absolutely certain that Newtralizer would
never have the guts to mess with him, or any of his brothers again.
With an angry howl, the giant newt clutched at the fresh slice in the side of
his face, making eye contact with Leonardo.
“The next time you hurt Raphael, or any of my brothers, I will kill you.”
With a growl Newtralizer pressed the button on his teleportation device and
faded away without a trace.
Leo straightened, and with no further ado, rushed to Raphael’s side. “Raph?”
There was no response. The emerald green turtle hadn’t even moved.
“Raph, please…” Leo reached out and turned the injured form over, and Raph was
still unresponsive. “No…” Leo murmured, his eyes beginning to fog over with
unshed tears. His heart was threatening to pound out of his chest.
Leo could feel his world begin to crumble and collapse around him as his worst
nightmares threatened to become the reality.
“No. No, Raph, I’m not going to lose you.”
The older turtle cupped the his younger sibling’s face in his hands tenderly.
He let out a sigh of relief. “At least you’re still breathing.” Leo stood and
hefted his heavy, muscular brother onto his strong shoulders. “I’ll get you
home in time, love. I swear.”
===============================================================================
 
At long last as Leo finally neared the lair his mind snapped back into the here
and now…
He took Raph off his shoulders and held the limp form lovingly in his arms
bridal style. “Donnie!” Leo yelled. There was no response. “DONNIE!” Leo
repeated, a desperate ring in his voice.
Mikey, Master Splinter and Donatello all came rushing out into the main room,
each of them displaying a look of fear and shock.
“What happened?!” Don asked disbelievingly.
Leo’s eyes began to water. “We were attacked. Please, Donnie, you have to save
him!”
Donatello’s expression grew very grave as he examined the injuries. “Take him
inside.” The smart turtle commanded.
Leo was more than quick to oblige. 
===============================================================================
 
Three days passed. Three days of fear and uncertainty. Would Raphael wake?
Would he remember? What if he suffered from amnesia? What if there was possible
brain damage?
There was danger every waking moment for Raphael. Danger of shock, danger of
memory loss or brain damage, danger of infection in the crack in his shell. In
his current state he was incredibly susceptible. If he somehow got an
infection, there was a chance he could never fully recover.
Leo had been sitting here, in a chair, at the hothead’s bedside since that
night. He hadn’t left the lab. Not once. He couldn’t leave Raph’s side. Not
while there was still danger.
Just as the eldest turtle was about to drift off into sleep late that third
night, he was jolted awake by a soft groan and a light whimper.
“Raph…?” Leo asked, sleepily, as he literally shook himself awake.
“Uhhhhhhn…I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus.” Raph groaned, his voice tired
and weak. The hothead shifted a little and his gaze fell on Leo’s hand, which
was tightly and reassuringly gripping his own. He offered his older brother a
tiny little grin. “I like it when you hold my hand.” He admitted softly.
Leonardo couldn’t help it. That soft confession melted all prior inhibitions.
He lunged forward, clinging to the red-masked turtle’s plastron. Tears sprang
up in the corners of his eyes and he sobbed quietly into Raphael’s shoulder,
“Please, don’t you ever do anything like that again.” He pulled away as the
younger turtle grunted and tried to sit up.
Raph pushed himself up a little bit and croaked, “No promises.”
Leo frowned very seriously and Raph wanted nothing more than to take back his
answer. Unfortunately, however, he couldn’t do that…because he had no real idea
what Leo was asking…The red-masked turtle shifted uncomfortably and muttered,
“What happened?”
Dark blue eyes snapped open wide as Leonardo pulled away from this lover’s
strong embrace. “You don’t remember?”
Raph’s eyes narrowed. He thought back as hard as he could. “Well, we were
finishing patrol.”
Leo nodded and motioned Raphael to go on.
“You and I were bickering.” Raph stated as blurred chunks of the conversation
began to return to him.
Leo’s eyes fogged up a little, but he nodded and motioned Raph to continue.
“I said we didn’t need to do another patrol loop because so far it had been all
clear. And you said we should go around one more time. I managed to get you
frustrated enough that you told the three of us to go home and you said you’d
do the final sweep yourself. I didn’t want you be alone, so I decided to go
with you and bug you until you just gave up and came home with me.”
Once again, the eldest turtle nodded and motioned Raph to continue, but the
hothead seemed to be having more difficulty recollecting.
Leo’s bottom lip pushed out into a deeply concerned, and, in Raphael’s opinion,
very endearing frown. “Do you need me to fill you in?”
The red-masked turtle shook his head emphatically. “No. No, just give me
minute.” The next few moments passed between them in complete silence.
Leonardo couldn’t be more relieved. Yes, Raph was having trouble remembering
what happened, but he was here. The hothead was here, alive, and stable, and
very much whole. There would still be danger, but Raphael was awake. There was
no greater relief than that. Especially after what had happened. Much to Leo’s
dread there had been a few moments where he really had been unable to tell
whether his lover was alive or dead.
Raph almost never went down in a battle. He was hearty and strong, and as such,
he didn’t often get put out of action.  That’s why this instance was all the
more serious, not only had Raph been out of action, he’d been completely
unresponsive.
Leonardo had never been more terrified in his life. Thank goodness Raph was
going to be alright. If he wasn’t…Leo probably wouldn’t be altogether sane
right now.
“Hmmmmm.”
Cerulean eyes glanced up at his lover. “Did you remember something?”
Neon green eyes narrowed with uncertainty. “We began the final patrol loop and
we passed the docks.”
Leo squeezed Raph’s hand tighter and nodded yet again.
“There was a noise. I said we should check it out and it took some convincing,
but you finally agreed. We went over and…and we found…Urgh!” Raph growled in
frustration, his eyes finally looking to his older brother for help.
“Newtralizer.” Leo stated, refusing to make eye contact with his younger
sibling.
Raphael raised an eye-ridge at Leo’s behavior but decided to dwell on that
later. The memory finally began coming back to him. “Something hit me in the
chest like a ton of bricks. I remember hearing a crack as my shell rammed
into…something. But, that’s all I can…”
“You passed out.” The elder turtle stated, still refusing to make eye contact
with Raphael.
“Leo…what…?” Raph placed his other hand on top of their clasped hands as he
struggled to meet his lover’s gaze.
The forest green turtle’s hands began to tremble, the tremor quickly spreading
to the rest of his body as well. “I—I watched you go flying. Then you hit that
stack of crates.” Leo struggled to blink back the tears that threatened to run
down his cheeks. “Y-You were so limp. So p-pale…I was afraid that I’d lost you.
Oh god, Raph, I’ve never been so afraid in my entire life.”
That’s it. Raphael decided as he listened to his borderline-hysterical, and
usually quite levelheaded lover, sniffle. A good, hard yank and the blue-masked
turtle wasted no time in climbing onto the lab table with his red-masked
sibling.
Leo sobbed into Raph’s plastron as the younger rubbed gentle circles against
his carapace. The elder turtle sighed and leaned heavily into the contact, a
full recount spilling from his lips at an almost impossible pace.
When Leo was finished Raphael kissed him emphatically on the lips. “I promise
you, my love, I won’t be leaving you anytime soon. I love you far too much to
let a little thing like death come between us. I'll never stop fighting for
you, bro.”
Tears filled Leonardo’s eyes as he clung to Raphael’s sides. “I love you too,
so much. And if you ever scare me like that again, I swear Raphael, I’ll kill
you myself.”
Raph just smiled and let out a deep, throaty chuckle.
***** Worry *****
Chapter Summary
     Raph was injured very badly. Leonardo waits. Raph wakes, the two
     eldest turtles talk, and Donatello listens in.
     Splinter knows and confronts Leo on his relationship.
This was the third day since Leonardo had rushed home carrying a severely
injured Raphael in his arms.
Donatello was in the garage working on the shell cycle. Had been for quite some
time. And probably would be for quite some time. The last time Raphael had
ridden her, the shell cycle had suffered from no small amount of bad-guy
bashing. Besides, this way he wasn’t being an imposition. He could still keep
an eye on Raphael without disturbing Leo too much.
Every time the brainiac went over to check the monitors and vitals, Leonardo
would sit up in his chair, his cerulean blue eyes staring for any sign, any
indication of how Raph was doing. All Donatello could do was shake his head and
Leo was crestfallen every single time.
Donatello had done all he could. Now they were just waiting. There was nothing
more to be done.
After the smart turtle had finally gotten the hothead stable, he’d confronted
Leonardo as to what had occurred. For the first time in Donatello’s existence
that he could remember, he saw their Fearless brother completely at a loss for
words. Tears surfaced in the eldest turtle’s eyes and Donnie shot forward,
pulling Leonardo into a tight hug. Don immediately berated himself for putting
that kind of pressure on the blue masked turtle’s shoulders. He should have
known that Leo would be blaming himself. The Fearless Leader always did.
Leonardo cared very deeply for Raphael. Deep in his heart, Donatello suspected
that the blue-masked turtle always had. Something like this happening so soon
after the start of the their relationship...The threat of losing Raph right
after they’d just been beginning something…Donnie would probably have been in
hysterics if he were in his big brother’s position.
But so far, the eldest turtle hadn’t breathed a word. To any of them. Not even
Sensei had been able to coax Leonardo to speak.
===============================================================================
 
Flashback
As soon as Raphael had been declared stable, Sensei and Michelangelo both
rushed into the lab. Donatello followed close behind, noting the way that
Leonardo pulled his hand away from Raph’s as they entered. Leo had stayed by
Raph’s side the entire time. Not that Donnie hadn’t attempted to convince him
otherwise. He’d stayed completely silent all through Donatello’s work on Raph’s
injuries, and seemed to be overcome with worry.
Dark blue eyes moved lethargically up from the injured turtle on the table to
his brothers and Sensei. Leo’s eyes were so hauntingly empty…so completely
fogged over that he looked almost as though he were sleeping with his eyes
open.
Donatello shuddered. He’d never seen that look on Leo’s face before.
Mikey stared worriedly down at their injured brother, his baby blue eyes
watering. Normally, in a situation like this, the youngest turtle would cling
to Leo for reassurance. But now…even Mikey could sense that something was
different.
Master Splinter made his way around the lab table to Leonardo’s side. The old
rat regarded the eldest turtle thoughtfully, but frowned as it seemed that even
he could not seem to ease Leonardo’s grief. A four-fingered hand slowly reached
out and came to rest on the blue-masked turtle’s shoulder. Leo glanced over at
his father’s hand and shrugged it off. Cerulean blue eyes looked away and tears
spilled down his cheeks. Leo shivered. Donatello frowned and headed over to the
cabinet to get a blanket, which he proceeded to drape over his eldest brother’s
shoulders. It took Leonardo a few moments to register that the blanket was even
there before he grabbed onto it and pulled it tightly around his shoulders.
Master Splinter was now very concerned. “Leonardo, what happened?” He asked
insistently.
Donnie put his hand on his rat-father’s shoulder, “Not now father, he’s in
shock. I’ll give him a sedative and then we should just let him be.”
The old rat frowned, but nodded his acquiescence.
End Flashback
===============================================================================
 
Two nights had passed since then, and so far, no change on Raphael’s part.
Donatello had explained to Leonardo as best he could how fragile Raph’s health
was at this point. There would be no real way of knowing if there was any brain
damage or amnesia until Raphael actually awoke. And of course there was always
the danger of an infection.
As for Leonardo he was doing much better. He’d recovered from the shock, of
course. And since the shock had passed he’d been more inclined to answer when
they spoke to him. But every time anyone asked him what had happened that
night, Leo grew strangely quiet and retreated back into that devoid place where
his eyes became completely impassionate. The others were worried, to say the
least.
Master Splinter and Michelangelo were a great deal more intrusive than
Donatello. The old rat would sit in the dojo by Raph’s side and try to get
Leonardo to open up a little. Unfortunately that didn’t work very well.
Michelangelo took a different approach as he made Leo’s favorite foods and
tried to bribe him into going out of the lab to play video games. But
Donatello…Donatello just minded his own business.
After all, he was the only one who knew the real reason behind why Leonardo
refused to leave Raphael’s side until the hothead returned to consciousness.
So here he was. In the garage. Close enough that he could rush over if he was
needed, yet far enough to give Leo peace of mind. Don’s eyes glanced at the
clock. Wow, nighttime already? The genius sat up and wiped the grease of his
hands with an old dishrag. Wait a second…were those…voices?
The smart turtle moved towards the lab and halted behind a large cabinet, out
of sight. He jolted when he realized that the voice was Raphael’s. Donatello
was about to rush over to them, but—
“I like it when you hold my hand.”
That soft confession stopped Donnie cold in his tracks. That voice was so soft,
so smooth, the words themselves affectionately whispered by undoubtedly the
toughest of his brothers. Don could feel his cheeks growing warmer. That wasn’t
something meant to be overheard by others.
Don peered around the cabinet and saw Leo throw himself against Raphael’s
plastron and break down in sobs. “Please, don’t you ever do anything like that
again.” He whispered, his voiced sounding desperate.
The purple masked turtle couldn’t help but nod his head in agreement. This time
had been really bad. If Leo hadn’t managed to get Raphael back here so
quickly…No. Donatello didn’t even want to think about that.
Raph saw fit to push himself up, which made Donatello frown, but still he hung
back, knowing that the two of them really needed to talk about this.
“What happened?”
Don’s breath caught in his chest. Amnesia? That was never good. Still, he
seemed to recognize Leo, so it wasn’t as if there was severe memory loss. It
might just take him a couple minutes to recall everything…
“You don’t remember?” Leo asked.
The smart turtle frowned as he watched Raphael deep in thought.
Finally the red masked turtle said, “Well we were finishing patrol. You and I
were bickering.” After a couple of nods from Leonardo he went on, “I said we
didn’t need to do another patrol loop because so far it had been all clear. And
you said we should go around one more time. I managed to get you frustrated
enough that you told the three of us to go home and you said you’d do the final
sweep yourself. I didn’t want you be alone, so I decided to go with you and bug
you until you just gave up and came home with me.”
Donnie nodded. Good. Looks like the amnesia really isn’t going to be an issue.
But then Don began to think he should revise that opinion, as Raphael seemed to
be stumped as to what happened next. Leo offered to fill him in, but the
hothead insisted on figuring it out for himself. Typical Raph.
A long silence spread through the room. Luckily for Donatello, both of his
older brothers were far too focused on each other’s presence to notice he was
watching them. Don’s mind began to drift, but he was snapped back to reality
when Raphael let out a deep, dark hum.
Leo looked up at Raph and asked, “Did you remember something?”
Donnie leaned forward. Everything past the point where they’d split in up was
new to him, and he really did need to know. While Leo was in shock he’d
muttered something about ‘docks and crates’ but that was hardly enough to make
a conclusion.
“We began our final patrol loop and we passed the docks.” Leo nodded and Raph
went on. “There was a noise. I said we should check it out and it took some
convincing, but you finally agreed. We went over and…and we found…Urgh!”
“Newtralizer.” Leo whispered so quietly that Donnie almost didn’t catch it.
The smart turtle’s eyes widened. Neutralizer was responsible for this? Anger
surged up from within the normally placid turtle. The next time I see that
pathetic excuse for an alien I’ll teach him not to mess around with my
brothers!
“Something hit me in the chest like a ton of bricks. I remember hearing a crack
as my shell rammed into…something. But, that’s all I can…”
“You passed out.” Leo stated, brokenly.
Donnie frowned. This was the first time Leo had spoken about it since that
night, and now…he was reliving every second of it.
Raph grabbed Leo’s hand, and the eldest turtle began shakily filling him in on
the parts he’d missed. Don listened in as well, of course. “I—I watched you go
flying. Then you hit that stack of crates.” Leo sobbed and Don wanted nothing
more than to go over there and give his eldest brother a big hug. “Y-You were
so limp. So p-pale…I was afraid that I’d lost you. Oh god, Raph, I’ve never
been so afraid in my entire life.”
Just when Don was afraid that Leo was about to collapse, Raphael literally
yanked the blue-masked turtle up onto the lab table and into tight embrace.
Donatello smiled. Those two ended up being perfect for each other. It looks
like Raphael’s got everything under control.
When they kissed Donatello averted his gaze so that he wouldn’t feel like even
more of an eavesdropper than he already was.
“I promise you, my love, I won’t be leaving you anytime soon. I love you far
too much to let a little thing like death come between us.” Raph said, and
again Don felt like he had just heard something that was meant for Leo’s ears
alone. Nevertheless he couldn’t help but grin. Who knew Raph could be so
eloquent?
“I love you too, so much. And if you ever scare me like that again, I swear
Raphael, I’ll kill you myself.” Leo threatened.
Don took that as his cue and emerged from the shadows. “If you don’t mind,
please don’t kill him until after I’ve had the chance to examine him.”
Both of the older turtles jumped. Raph’s cheeks were crimson as he stammered,
“How much of that did you hear?”
The purple masked turtle smirked. “Enough.”
After removing all of the unnecessary monitors Don turned to frown at his
immediate older brother. “Alright Raph, you’re going to need to stay in the lab
for the rest of tonight, just as a precaution. But tomorrow you should be able
to get up and about with Leo’s help.”
Raph glared at the prospect of needing help, but remained silent.
Don turned to Leo. “If you want to sleep in here with him, you’re welcome to.
I’m not going to wake Mikey and Sensei now, we’ll wait until morning.”
Leonardo nodded his understanding and thanks. Don just smiled and put a
reassuring hand on Leo’s shoulder. Then soft, brown eyes glanced over at Raph,
“I hope you realize the amount of worry you caused, Raphael.”
The hothead just grumbled and waved the brainiac off.
Don rolled his eyes and shook his head, a bright smile on his face. Some things
never change.
===============================================================================
 
The next morning Leonardo woke early and peeled himself away from Raph’s side.
Difficult as that was, it was necessary. After all, they still hadn’t come out
to Mikey and Sensei yet. Raph whimpered a little in his sleep at the sudden
loss of warmth and Leo kissed him gently on the forehead.
Leo had been sitting at Raph’s side for about an hour when Sensei padded softly
into the room.
The old rat looked over at his eldest son with tired eyes. “Donatello tells me
that Raphael awakened late last night.”
“Hai Sensei.” Leonardo answered respectfully.
Silence spread between them and the old rat lowered his gaze. Splinter’s hands
gripped his stick tightly, which usually indicated that something very hard to
address was about to be discussed. “Leonardo, I raised the four of you as
brothers. I know that being the leader has probably changed the way you
perceive them.”
Leo’s mouth pulled into a tight frown. Where was all of this going? The eldest
turtle’s eyes gleamed in earnest as he stated, “I love my brothers, Father.
That hasn’t changed.”
Splinter refused to meet Leonardo’s gaze. “Yet now your love seems to apply to
some more than others.”
An uncomfortable feeling began to settle in Leonardo’s stomach. Cerulean blue
eyes narrowed. “I do not apply favoritism to my brothers.”
Sensei’s glare was rock hard. “Do you deny that your relationship with Raphael
has moved beyond the platonic?”
Leonardo’s voice died in his throat and his eyes widened.
“How long did you think you could conceal it from me, my son?”
Now it was Leo’s turn to look away. “I-I don’t know. Raph was afraid and—”
“Save the excuses, my son. We must discuss your relationship with Raphael.”
“You don’t approve.” It wasn’t a question. Leonardo could hear the hard edge in
his father’s tone.
Splinter frowned. “It is not a question of approval. I have long acknowledged
that because there were only four of you in existence there would be the
possibility of in-breeding. I accepted that. That is not the primary concern.
Your concern is the functioning of your team.”
Leo’s eyes narrowed and his temper flared. “Just because I’m in a relationship
with Raphael doesn’t mean I’ll let it affect my judgment!”
Splinter raised an eyebrow. “Really? And what if Raphael is injured, or
captured? You would have me believe that you would lead your brothers away from
danger rather than risking your lives going after him?”
“Raphael and I have talked about this.” Leo stated evenly, his voice slightly
hushed as he glanced at the turtle in question.
“And?” Master Splinter prompted, surprised that Raphael and Leonardo had
actually taken time to discuss the subject.
“As you say Sensei, if it were up to me, me as an individual not a leader, I
would sacrifice anything to get him back. But Raphael and I agreed that were
such a situation to arise, my position as leader always comes first. I made him
a promise. And I intend to keep it.” Leo’s posture was straight and his eyes
were gleaming. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”
The old rat sighed. “It is not that I wish to pressure you, my child. I simply
worry about your brothers’ safety. Now that you and Raphael have begun a
relationship, the situation has grown even more dire. Once word gets around,
Leonardo, that the two of you are more than brothers, our enemies will stop at
nothing in their attempts to exploit that weakness.”
“Sensei? Leo? What’s going on?” A sleepy voice murmured from the lab table.
Splinter and Leo turned in time to see the hothead sit up. The old rat smiled
and approached his second child, wrapping the red-masked turtle in a gentle
embrace. As he pulled away he said softly, “Leonardo and I were just discussing
the nature of your relationship, my son.”
Every muscle in the hothead’s body froze. “W-What?” suddenly the red masked
turtle’s eyes were filled with fear as he stared at the old rat. “Y-you…you
don’t approve?”
Leonardo was by Raphael’s side in a blink, rubbing comforting circles against
his bandaged carapace. The angry, hotheaded and tough turtle was quaking in
fear at his father’s silence.
Finally Splinter reached out and tilted Raph’s face up to look him in the eyes.
“I have no right to interfere with the feelings of your heart, my child. But I
am concerned that your relationship with your brother could adversely affect
your functioning as a team.”
“You don’t have to worry about that, Sensei. Raphael and I won’t let our
feelings get in the way.”
Splinter’s eyes were hard as he and Leonardo exchanged glances. But the old
rat’s brown gaze softened as he looked back at Raphael, who still seemed rather
anxious. “In that case…I have nothing against it. I give you both my blessing
and I wish you happiness.”
“Thank you father!” Raphael exclaimed, clinging to the rat’s robes as Splinter
stroked his head softly.
Sensei smiled and looked down into his son’s bright, neon green eyes. “You are
still very young, little one. Be careful. Go slow. Draw from one another, learn
all you can from the other and let each day be filled with love. Raphael, I
expect you to keep a close eye on Leonardo.” Raph smiled and nodded. “And
Leonardo.” Sensei said sternly. Leo glanced at his father. “Take very good care
of you little brother, my son.” That tone told Leonardo that hurting Raphael in
any way would result in a very long lecture. Why is it always me? I never hear
Raph getting threatened!Leo nodded and Sensei pulled him into a hug as well.
Cerulean blue eyes glanced at his lover from over Sensei’s shoulder. Raph
looked relieved. The hothead caught Leo’s gaze and smiled. Not a fakey-fakey
smile that he usually wore, but a real, genuine, beatific smile.
Now all they had to do was break it to Mikey.
***** Passion *****
Chapter Summary
     Leo and Raph have their first time.
Two months had passed since Raph was injured by Newtralizer. His shell had
healed, thank goodness. Of course, after the first two weeks he’d been allowed
to join them for mild training, but when things got more intense Raph had been
forced to sit out. Now he’s been back to training with the rest of us and
things are slowly returning to normal. Or at least, for the others they were.
For Leo, things had been getting increasingly difficult. Now that Raphael was
healed and on his feet again, Leonardo had a really hard time keeping his hands
off. Raph, as always, seemed amused by the way Leo’s finger were always
brushing him whenever they passed in the hallways. In a rare loss of self-
control Leo had even proceeded to shove Raph against the wall and start feeling
up his thighs.
When they were almost caught by Michelangelo, Raphael decided it was time to
the pull the leader aside and have a talk. “Hey Leo.”
The turtle in question glanced up from his seat on the couch.
“Can I talk to ya?”
Leo nodded and turned to face Raph.
The red masked turtle sighed, glanced at his brothers, and then turned back to
Leo. “Alone?”
Was it just Raph’s imagination, or did Leo look…concerned?
Leo nodded again and stood, quickly ushering Raph down the hall where they
ducked into Leo’s room. “What’s up?”
Raph smirked at the nervous crack in Leo’s voice. Then he had a better idea. He
rushed forward and pinned Leo to the wall, feeling him up just as the older
turtle had done to him earlier that morning. The response was immediate.
Leonardo’s hands were everywhere, all of Raph’s sensitive spots were suddenly
being caressed and stroked by deft, forest-green fingers. Raphael sighed and
momentarily lost himself in pleasure before he remembered what he was here for.
“Leo…” He murmured, though it turned into a gasp as Leo’s teeth bit softly down
on the most sensitive part of his neck. “Ugh…Leo…” Again, the sensations
overwhelmed him. Demanding lips captured his in a searing kiss, Leo’s warm body
pressed flush against his and he bucked his hips reflexively. He groaned into
the kiss and shook his head. Emerald green hands latched onto Leo’s shoulders
and pushed the older turtle back.
Leo pulled away without hesitation. “You okay?” He asked, his eyes betraying
his fear that he’d accidently hurt Raph.
Raph smiled and cupped Leo’s face. He pressed a soft kiss to Leo’s beak, but
didn’t linger. “I’m fine. But I did actually want to talk to you.” He could
feel his cheeks getting warmer and he cursed the reaction as he saw Leo’s
smirk.
“Okay.” Leo said, motioning Raph to talk.
“Well…I was hoping we could talk about…about…well, let’s just suffice to say
that you’ve been real…intense…lately.” Raph said, avoiding Leo’s gaze and
rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
Leo’s mouth tightened into a grim line. “I know. I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to
control myself but—”
“Nothing to be sorry for. I kinda like it.” Raph’s emotions betrayed him once
again and he blushed. Leo smirked. That smirk sent tingles down Raph’s spine.
Leo’s eyes were dark with lust and desire. Raph quickly went on. “I just—I just
want to kind of…talk about this first. I mean, I have a feeling you’re going to
want to…you know...soon and I—”
This time it was Leo who cut Raph  off mid-sentence. The blue masked turtle
held up a hand, his eyes drained of lust and now filled with pure seriousness.
“I would never force you into anything, Raphael. If you aren’t ready to have
sex, then you don’t have to. Also, my previous offer still stands.” He stated
evenly.
Raph stepped into his older brother’s embrace with a smile. He cupped Leo’s
jaw. “I want to keep going the way we’ve been going, Leo. But I was thinking
maybe we could…man this sounds lame but…I was hoping we could set a date. That
way we both have a little time to…”
A smile graced Leo’s face and he murmured affectionately, “I think that’s a
very good idea. But I still don’t want you to feel rushed, so you pick the
date.”
Raphael nodded. “Two weeks from today.” He stated evenly.
Leo turned the stocky emerald green turtle around and looked him in the eyes.
“You sure that’s long enough?”
Raph shoved the older turtle backwards playfully, “Yes, of course I’m sure!
Geez, Fearless!”
Leo laughed. “Okay, okay!” 
===============================================================================
 
Today was the day. Leo and Raph had finally come out to Mikey about their
relationship the day before, and oddly enough, the youngest didn’t seem at all
surprised. In fact his only words on the subject were, “Well it’s about time.”
After that, Raphael felt completely at ease. He couldn’t be happier. He had the
love of his life, and he had his family’s support. That was all he needed. He
and Leo had sat side by side at movie night, with his arm wrapped around Leo’s
shoulders and nobody treated them any differently. Well…except for a couple
snickers from Mikey about Raph being a softy after all.
And today was the day. Raphael was nervous. Shell was he nervous. But he was
also excited. Incredibly excited. Just thinking about Leo above him,
passionately fucking him into he bed, made heat pool in his abdomen.
But he was little bit worried. Everything he’d read on the internet, courtesy
of Donnie’s computer, said that the penetration would hurt. But it also said
that with the right preparation, the pain could be minimal.
There’s nothing to worry about. Raph repeated over and over in his mind as he
made his way to the dojo where he knew Leo was meditating. He wasn’t certain,
but he had a hunch that Leo had something to do with the rest of the family’s
sudden departure to the Farmhouse for the weekend. In short, the two of them
were alone in the lair. And would be alone for the whole of this evening and
the next two days.
Raph barged unceremoniously in on Leo’s meditation, prompting the blue-clad
turtle to glare up at him. Raph smirked. “I’ve been a bad turtle. What ya gonna
do about it, Leo? Punish me?” The hothead growled suggestively.
The next thing Raph knew he was on laid out on his carapace, Leo’s hands
roaming sensuously up and down his body. Strong hands passionately kneaded his
thighs and Raph bit back a groan. Suddenly, he was being pinned and stars
danced before his eyes as his lips were claimed in a rough, tongue wrenching
kiss. He gasped for breath as Leo pulled away, but his heavy rasps stopped
short as he made eye contact. Leo’s blue eyes were filled with passion and
love, but also dark and heady with lust and want. It literally took Raph’s
breath away.
Leo leaned in, as if for another kiss, but at the last second he turned his
head and pressed his mouth to the side of Raph’s face, whispering softly. “I
think we should continue this in more comfortable surroundings.”
Before Raph could even muster up a reply, Leonardo scooped him up, slung him
over the shoulder and carried him off. Despite his dislike of being carried
Raph didn’t complain because it gave him a very nice view of his soon-to-mate’s
backside. Or more importantly, the elusive little forest-green tail that wagged
excitedly as Leo trudged towards their destination.
As soon as Leo set Raph down on the bed, the hothead’s hands were all over him.
Momentarily overcome by the intense sensations, Leo lost his train of thought.
He let out a startled moan as Raph’s calloused fingers roughly tugged on his
tail and proceeded to stroke the little appendage zealously. The elder turtle
groaned. He wasn’t about to be outdone by his younger sibling. His hands
trailed down the curve of Raph’s shell and stroked the thick, powerful thighs
before he slowly moved his hands further inward. Leo’s right hand began to
skillfully caress Raph’s tail, which was even more sensitive than his own. His
right hand reached over towards his nightstand and retrieved a bottle from the
top drawer. He could feel Raph’s fingers ghosting over his sides and he let out
a sigh of pleasure, leaning down to kiss his love softly.
That soft kiss quickly escalated into a tongue twisting battle for dominance.
But as soon as Leo’s fingers pinched Raphael’s tale, the victory was his as
Raph moaned into the kiss. Leo suddenly felt something hard brush against him
and he smirked as he realized that Raph had dropped down. The blue masked
turtle abruptly ceased all other ministrations and grabbed Raph’s cock roughly
with one hand. Raph groaned and bit his lip to keep a cry of pleasure from
escaping him. Leo had him effectively pinned to the bed. There was nowhere for
him to go. He writhed as pleasure assaulted his senses.
Meanwhile, Leo’s other hand had wrenched the bottle open and applied copious
amounts of lubricant to his fingers. Slowly he circled the tight slit of his
brother’s entrance, and Raph tensed.
Blue eyes met neon green ones briefly before Raphael forced his muscles to
relax and threw an arm over his face to hide his blush.
The fingers circled a few more times, every so often gently prodding at the
entrance. As the tip finally pushed in, Leo held his breath and watched Raph’s
expression closely. “Does it hurt?” He asked, softly.
Raph blushed at the question, but kept his arm over his face. “No. It just
feels weird.”
“Ready for me to go deeper?”
The red-masked turtle nodded. “Ngh!” He cried as Leo’s finger pushed in the
rest of the way.
Leo stared with wide eyes at Raphael. Most of the time, Raph bit back or tried
to contain his pleasured noises. But now… Leo pulled his finger out a little
and pushed it back in.
“Ngh!” the turtle beneath him grunted again, his hips bucking up.
Hungry for more of those elusive little noises, Leo began to twist his finger
and move it in little circular motions. He was rewarded with several little
moans. His shell tightened substantially with every moan until finally he
couldn’t stand it any longer and he dropped down. Fuck, those sounds…
Leo stilled his finger and moved a second one to Raph’s entrance, slowly
circling the same way he did before. This time when the tip pressed in Raph
hissed a little.
“Okay?” Was all Leo could manage to put together.
Raph nodded. His arm fell from his face and Leo stared. A light cherry blush
tinted the emerald green cheeks. His lips were parted in a silent ‘oh’ shape
and his eyes were screwed shut. Holy shit, he was beautiful. Leo pulled out of
his stupor and slowly slid the second finger into Raphael.
The hothead’s strong thighs trembled as he was breached.
Their fingers were twice as thick as a human’s and everything Leo had read said
to use three fingers. Unfortunately, since their fingers were thicker two would
be more than enough, but the move from one to two wasn’t such an easy stretch
for Raphael. But Leo knew that if he didn’t prepare Raph correctly it could be
twice as painful for him as it was already going to be. He didn’t want to hurt
Raph, but he knew that a small amount of pain was inevitable.
In an attempt to distract Raphael from the pain, Leo’s other hand began to
stroke the emerald green cock. Raph groaned softly and turned his head to the
side. Suddenly, both of Leo’s fingers began to move within him and he
whimpered.
Leo twisted and twirled his fingers, gently stroking Raph’s walls as he
searched for the spot that would make Raphael scream in pleasure. As soon as
his fingers pressed it, Raph’s stunning green eyes shot open and his back
arched a little. Leo grinned and pulled his fingers away a little, only to
press harder against it as he shoved them back in.
“Ughuh!” Raph cried before a deep chur rumbled through both of their bodies.
Tingles ran up and down Leo’s spine at the sound of Raph’s cries. He slowly
began to experiment with different amounts of speed, force, and angles,
suddenly overcome by the desire to learn every single noise Raph was capable of
making.
Raphael was drowning in pleasure as Leo’s fingers roughly caressed his inner
center of bliss. All the discomfort from earlier was gone. His cock was
throbbing and his tail was twitching. He wouldn’t last much longer at this
rate. The dual sensations of Leo’s hand running up and down his cock and Leo’s
fingers buried deep inside him was too much. “Augh! Uh! Ugh! Uhn! Leo! Leo,
please!” Raph cried out desperately. Leo’s hands stilled and he looked down
into Raph’s eyes, a brief flash of worry dimming the passion-filled orbs. Raph
looked his mate-to-be straight in the eyes. “Please Leo. I want you.”
Leonardo nodded calmly, though on the inside he was a bundle of nerves. He
almost dropped the bottle of lube he was so nervous. After coating his stiff
member in the clear liquid, he slowly pulled his fingers out of Raph.
The younger turtle whimpered a little at the loss of Leo’s fingers. He groaned
a little as Leo pushed his legs open wider. Then he felt the tip of Leo’s cock
prodding his entrance and he stiffened. He knew tensing up was the last thing
he should be doing, so he took a deep breath and blew it out slowly to release
some of the tension. Their eyes met. Leo’s question needed no voice. Raph
nodded affirmative and ever so slowly the tip of Leo’s cock made its way into
him.
Raph let out another breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. This was it?
This doesn’t hurt so bad. Maybe the humans were wrong.
Then Leo slowly slid in the rest of the way.
Holy Shit! Okay, turns out the humans were right. Raph thought to himself as he
screwed his eyes shut, tears of tension gathering at the corners.
Once he was all the way inside, Leo stilled and looked down at Raph. Guilt ate
away at his heart as he saw the pained expression on his little brother’s face.
He bent down and kissed each of Raph’s eye-ridges gently. He brought one hand
up to stroke Raph’s cock gently, hoping to distract the younger turtle from the
pain.
A few moments passed before Raph’s face softened. The burn had faded to a dull
ache. Now he was left mostly with a strange, full sensation. It wasn’t that
bad. The hothead shifted his hips experimentally and gasped as Leo answered
with a hard thrust. Judging by his older brother’s surprised expression it was
reflexive. Raph repeated the action and received the same response; only this
time the answering thrust was slightly more controlled. Raphael briefly began
to wonder what it would take to strip away his older brother’s control.
Leo bit his lip and fought retain his control as Raph shifted his hips yet
again. Leo responded with a shallow thrust and Raph let out a breathy little
gasp. “I take it you’re ready for me to move?”
Raph threw his head back into the pillow. “Fuck yes.”
That was all the answer Leo needed. He started with slow, deep thrusts, doing
his best to be gentle.
Shit! Leo’s deep, thick thrusts were killing Raph. His thighs were trembling.
He needed more. He needed…he wanted to get Leo to lose control. He wanted his
mate to pin him to the bed and fuck him into oblivion. He wanted Leo’s thick
member spreading him open wide and ramming into his prostate. He wanted Leo. He
wanted Leo without any walls, without any control, without any inhibitions.
Raph moaned at the images those thoughts brought and suddenly Leo thrust into
him harder, the stiff cock pushing against his prostate. A lusty cry and a chur
escaped him and he was rewarded with yet another hard thrust. Raph slowly began
to realize the key to his older brother’s loss of control.
“Leo…Leo…ugh…augh…ah! Leeeeeeoooooooo…” He moaned with abandon, no longer
stifling his cries.
When that long, drawn out cry of his name passed Raph’s lips, Leo could no
longer contain himself. He wanted to hear every single sound Raph was capable
of making. He had to have more of those lustful cries. He needed more! Oh fuck!
The sound of their hips slamming together roughly echoed through the room.
Raph’s moans increased in volume, making Leo go mad with desire. Raph’s arms
wrapped around Leo’s neck and pulled him closer as he clung on for dear life.
Sharp teeth bit roughly into the soft skin on Raph’s neck, making him whine.
Leo ran his tongue over the mark he had just created and he couldn’t contain
his smile. Raphael was his. This beautiful body, this beautiful soul, this was
his mate.
Then, with one particularly hard and well-aimed thrust, Raph’s eyes went wide,
his back arched and he cried out, “LEO!” as he came, his cum spurting out all
over their plastrons. The arms around Leo’s neck pulled Raph closer to the
older turtle.
Leo watched in awe. He had never seen anything so beautiful. Leo’s thrusts
continued, growing increasingly frantic. Raph gasped and moaned, moving his
hips weakly to meet each of his brother’s greedy push-ins. Emerald green arms
pulled Leo down into a passionate, exhausted and sloppy kiss.
The younger turtle moaned deeply as his lover’s seed filled his passage.
Feeling stretched and utterly spent, Raphael shifted and pulled Leo onto the
bed beside him, pressing his face into the crook of his older brother’s neck
and cuddling tiredly. Leo wrapped his arms around the shorter turtle
automatically. When the fog of his orgasm had cleared, Leo glanced worriedly
down at Raphael, who, it seemed to him, was refusing to look at him.
“Raph? Are you alright? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
Very tired green eyes shifted to meet the older turtle’s gaze.
Leo cupped the side of Raph’s face softly. Somehow he felt as though Raphael
had given him a great gift by allowing him to be his mate. He just felt the
inexplicable need to ask, “Do you need anything?”
Raph didn’t answer. At least…not verbally. Emerald green arms slowly wrapped
around Leo’s waist and pulled him closer. Raph’s head snuggled into Leo’s neck.
The red-masked turtle’s breathing slowed, his eyes closed, and his muscles went
lax.
Leo reached over and pulled a towel from his nightstand, using it to softly
wipe the mess from their plastrons as best he could. Leo smiled down at his
mate and kissed Raph’s temple. “I love you.” he murmured.
He closed his eyes, falling asleep with a smile on his face as he heard the
reply:
“Shut up and go to sleep.”
***** A Different Kind of Jealousy *****
Chapter Summary
     Karai has a plan to make Leo jealous, but it doesn't work out in the
     way that she expects it to.
It has been about a month since the weekend Leonardo and Raphael had taken the
next step in their relationship. Since then, they’d grown even closer, even
though it hardly seemed possible that they could get closer. Their relationship
had blossomed. But the fact that they were in love didn’t mean that they fought
any less than they had before. However instead of violent, physical
altercations, they usually ended fights with hard, searing kisses and
passionate lovemaking. None of their enemies knew about their relationship.
They refrained from displaying it publicly to keep it that way. Leo found it
increasingly difficult to keep his hands off of his lover, especially during
those nights where patrol just seemed to drag on and on and on and on and on
and on…etc.
And this was one of those nights.
It was dark, very dark, and the city was quiet. As they ran silently across the
rooftops, Leo’s dark blue eyes darted over to his red-masked brother. His
thick, chiseled muscles outlined by the dim moonlight, Raphael jumped
effortlessly from one building to the next. Gosh. He was so handsome…
Leonardo shook his head from side to side to clear his thoughts. But as soon as
he looked back to the building in front of him, his feet ground to a sudden
stop. Oh no.
“Karai.” He growled, unsheathing his katanas hurriedly.
“Leo.” She replied with a nod. A swoosh could be heard as Karai’s blade sliced
through the air. “So good to see you again.”
“Can’t say I return the sentiment.” Leonardo growled in response, purposefully
taking a few steps out from behind his brothers, moving to stand slightly in
front of Raphael.
The hothead growled lowly at the eldest turtle’s actions. He didn’t need
Leonardo’s protection.
Judging by Raph’s growl, Leo was definitely going to be hearing about it later.
Raphael wasn’t about to let anyone fight his battles for him. Leo should have
known Raph would take it the wrong way. Not only that, but Karai was really the
last person Leo wanted to deal with right now. It was no secret that she
flirted blatantly with him whenever they crossed paths. And now that he was in
a steady relationship that could pose a problem. On second thought, considering
Raph’s hotheadedness it might be good to turn that ‘could’ to a ‘most
definitely would’.
Before anyone could say anything else, a legion of Foot bots dropped onto the
roof beside them.
They were all doing their best to beat off as many Foot goons as they could,
but a yell suddenly cut through the darkness, distracting them. “AAAAAAAHHHHH!”
“Mikey!”
“Raph no!” 
===============================================================================
 
When Raph woke up he found that he was hanging against a wall in an old, broken
down warehouse. For some strange reason Karai was standing extremely close to
him and it was making him very uncomfortable.
“I wonder…when I kiss you will you turn into a handsome prince?”
Raph growled. “Haha, aren’t you funny.” He remarked sarcastically before he
retorted a little more angrily. “I’m not a frog.”
Karai drew even closer to Raph and the hint behind her words finally sunk in.
“What the shell?! You want to kiss me?! No way! Fuck off!”
Karai smirked and drew away slowly. “You’re right. Now is not the time. I’ll
just wait until your brothers show up to rescue you.”
Raph’s eyes narrowed dangerously. Did Karai know? It seemed like she did,
but…he had to tread carefully. Maybe she was just fishing, and if she was, he
couldn’t afford to give himself away. “And just what will that accomplish
besides disgusting everyone present, including me?”
Karai gripped the rim of his plastron and pulled him closer. He took advantage
of the opportunity to spit in her face and she slapped him, hard. “Leo will be
jealous and it will put a stint in your relationship.”
“Sure it will, but not in the way that you expect.” Raph answered dryly,
rolling his eyes at her stupidity.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Karai asked suspiciously.
Raph averted his eyes. “That’s for me to know and for you to find out.” He
grumbled under his breath. She growled at him and seemed to be pondering
whether or not to foil her own plan and simply kill him on the spot. At least
that would save him the humiliation of his brothers seeing him get kissed by
Karai…
Just as that thought entered his mind fear struck him full force. Leo would
know that he didn’t want Karai’s attentions…wouldn’t he?Well of course he
would. But what if…No. No. He told himself. Leo won’t think that. I won’t let
him think that. I’ll make certain that he won’t ever doubt my affections.
“Hello Leo.”
Leo? Raph was pulled from his thoughts by Karai’s purr of his lover’s name. If
that bitch so much as touched Leo he was gonna—
“So glad you could make it.”
“Where is Raphael?!”
Holy shit Leo is pissed. Karai is so going to get it.
Raphael tensed as he felt Karai moving towards his position on the shadowed
back wall of the crumbling warehouse. “Right here.” She murmured seductively.
Ha. Like Leo would stoop to the likes of her! “You know Leo…I think I might
just keep him. He’s very handsome, don’t you think? Fierce and strong, yet warm
and vibrant…Like a flame.”
Raph heard Leo growl as Karai approached him and he began to squirm in his
bonds. The next thing he knew her lips were forcing themselves upon his and he
growled, though his growl became a whimper as she bit his lip and forced her
tongue into his mouth. He shook his head from side to side until she finally
tore herself away from him.
Raph’s eyes desperately glanced down to Leonardo’s, filled with hurt and fear
at the thought that his lover might resent him for what had just occurred. But
there was no resentment in Leo’s eyes. Nor was there any loathing, at least
none directed at him. But Leo looked as though he was about ready to murder
Karai for even touching his mate. In less than a blink Leo was in front of
Karai, and within seconds he had sliced into her side, his eyes filled with
hatred. Stunned and unable to counter Leo’s sudden burst of speed, Karai
screamed and clutched at her side, thoroughly shocked and confused by the
turtle’s actions. Leo snarled, his face less than an inch from hers as he
growled. “Don’t you ever touch Raphael again, or you won’t escape with your
life!” He said quietly. Her face went three shades paler and she shrunk back
from him. “Now go before I kill you.” Leo stated, pointing his katana at the
door of the warehouse.
She did as he commanded, but mostly due to the fact that her wound meant a
victory would be nothing less than impossible.
After she was gone, Leo’s other brothers dropped down into the room.
“Geez Leo, ya think maybe you went a little bit hard on her?” Mikey asked, but
his cheery voice faded as soon as he saw the scene before him. Leo had undone
Raph’s chains and the red-masked turtle tried to pull Leo into a tight hug, but
the leader side-stepped out of Raph’s reach.
Mikey watched as Raph, usually the most difficult of all his brothers to read
emotionally, froze. Many emotions flashed across the hothead’s facial features:
anger, sadness, but most importantly a look of betrayal and ultimate
heartbreak. The youngest turtle wanted very badly to hit Leo on the head with
the butt of one of Raph’s sais. What the shell was going on in the leader’s
head? Did he blame Raph because Karai kissed him? If he did then he was the
biggest douchebag on the entire planet. But Mikey had a feeling there was more
to it than that. But still…couldn’t he see how that move had just affected
Raph’s emotional and mental state? Seriously, did his older brothers always
have to be so clueless. First it takes them nearly four years to figure out
that they like each other and now they’re letting this one little thing split
them apart? SERIOUSLY?!
***** Hurt *****
Chapter Summary
     Why did Leo suddenly pull away from Raphael?
     Leo recounts what happened that night. And Donatello makes a grim
     discovery that spurs both him and Mikey into action to mend this rift
     between their brothers before the situation gets out of hand. But the
     big, greasy question: is it already too late? Donatello has an
     epiphany. Michelangelo spurs their Fearless brother into action.
Leo's POV
It was just another normal day. As normal as it gets for four mutant turtles
and a rat that live together in the sewers, anyway. Mikey and Donnie spent most
of the day in Don’s lab trying to perfect some invention or other. So I was
left to my own devices…or so I thought. Apparently my hotheaded lover had other
plans. After my customary daily meditation I headed down the hall to the
bathroom. Steam began to spread through the room as I took a few moments to
remove my knee and elbow pads. I’m usually one for cooler showers, but my
muscles were still a little bit sore from training the day before and the heat
helped soothe them.
I closed my eyes and sighed with relief as the hot liquid slid down my aching
frame. For a few moments I stood with my head beneath the spray, feeling tired
and a little bit overwhelmed. So much had happened recently. Raphael and I have
been strengthening our relationship. And at the same time our enemies are
getting bolder and bolder. Things are getting increasingly dangerous and that
puts an extra strain on me. After all, I have to watch out for all three of my
brothers.
I let out a startled yelp and lash out as two arms wrap around me from behind,
elbowing my ‘assailant’. But the growl that I get as an answer is one that I
know well, and I immediately turn around to cup his face in my hands. “Raph!
Are you okay? Shell, you know not to sneak up on me like that! And what are you
doing?! I’m taking a shower!”
Raphael grunted, still pained by the nasty elbow-jab I’d just dealt him. But he
straightened a little and pulled out of my grip before growling again. “Oh, so
now I need a reason to join you in the shower? Well, gosh, I don’t know,
Fearless. Maybe I just wanted to take a bath!” He yelled, though I could tell
by the light in his eyes that he was more hurt than offended by the way I’d
reacted.
I needed to act fast. So I reached out for him and pulled him into an embrace.
“No…you don’t need a reason.” I beamed at him. “Your reason is clear enough.”
He smiled back, rolling his eyes a little, and returned the hug. “Yeah. I fell
in love with your sorry ass.”
I chuckled and pulled away slightly to look into his eyes. “It takes two to
tango, Raphael.”
“Don’t I know it.” He remarked dryly and I rolled my eyes, pulling him directly
under the warm spray of the showerhead.
Raph blinked the water away and stared at the showerhead. I raised an eye-
ridge. My confusion only doubled when my immediate younger brother turned to me
with concern. He reached out and cupped my face with one hand. I could feel my
composure crumbling as I watched the beads of water rolling down his head,
shoulders and shell. His voice pulled me out of my stupor. “Are you okay?”
I blinked slowly, blankly. “Of course. I’m fine.” I said, still at loss.
He didn’t relinquish his worried stare. “The water’s hot.” He stated.
I was still completely lost, but I nodded. “Yes, it is.”
“You only take hot showers when you’re upset.”
Oh. Of course. He must not have been paying attention to the water temperature
when he first came in here. That or he didn’t notice. Raph is much more
accustomed to hot showers. I smiled a little as I realized that my lover was
still concerned. Hm. I think I know just how to make him stop worrying about
me…
In one, swift move I pulled Raphael close to me, so close that we were plastron
to plastron. This time the sight of the water dripping down his muscular frame
proved to be too much and I raked my hands over his sinuous shoulders and down
his sides. He shuddered and churred lightly. With a smile I swept him into a
passionate kiss and he mewled. My right hand came back up to press against his
plastron. I fingered the flesh just behind it roughly, knowing that the skin
there was sensitive, but my pleasure-high roughly shattered when my lover
pulled away with a whimper and a hiss.
“Did I hurt you?” I asked frantically.
Raphael grit his teeth. “Easy on the scar shell-for-brains!”
I frowned, now more than a little concerned. “I hadn’t realized it was so
sensitive. Is that normal?”
He shrugged. “Eh, I have no idea.” He started lathering me up with soap and
that seemed to be all he wanted to say on the matter.
After we emerged from the shower, completely clean and refreshed, I made sure I
got out first so that I could dry Raphael off. I stopped as soon as I reached
his left shoulder and he gave me a curious look. I stared solemnly down into
his bright green eyes as I bent over to place a kiss right on his scar. He was
staring at me as though I’d just grown another head. “Leo, what’re ya—”
“I’m sorry I hurt you.” I said softly.
He rolled his eyes and laughed. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. “I
guess that means you forgive me?”
Raph smirked. “You guessed right, Fearless.” He kissed me softly.
Turns out we were both more tired than we thought because we both fell asleep
watching television less than twenty minutes later.
 
When the time for patrol rolled around I had a strange feeling in my chest. I
told my brothers to be extra vigilant and that I sensed something was wrong,
but Raph and Mikey both told me I was being paranoid. Still, I knew something
wasn’t right. Desperate for a distraction, I glanced over at my hotheaded
sibling and was pleased to find him right at my side, as usual. I smiled. I
always could count of Raph. He always had my back. I suddenly found myself
being drawn in by the way the light hit his frame, accentuating all his
muscles. He’s so handsome…
I shook my head and turned back to the rooftops in front of me. What I saw made
me skid to a stop, alerting my brothers. My heart clenched as she landed on the
roof in front of me. Oh no…
“Karai.” I stated, drawing my katanas.
“Leo.” She acknowledged me with a nod, brandishing her blade and swinging it
threateningly. “So good to see you again.”
“Can’t say I return the sentiment.” I grumbled. Honestly, I had just wanted to
finish patrol, go back to the lair, and spend some quality time with Raph and
my brothers. I really didn’t need any Karai making trouble. My overprotective
nature kicked in and I stepped over a little so that I was better able to
shield Raphael. It wasn’t until he growled that I realized stepping in front of
Raph was not only an obvious move, but also a direct infringement on his ‘I can
defend myself’ mentality. Oh great, now I’m definitely going to get yelled at
later. Should have thought that one through.
Plus, Karai is probably the last person on earth that I want to deal with right
now. I mean, if she makes so much as one pass at me, Raphael is liable to cut
her head off. And of course I’m not about to let him get in trouble. So if he
does make a move, I’d have to stop him and then he’d accuse me of defending her
and yada, yada, yada. Basically, now that I finally have Raphael, I’m not going
to lose him to some petty flirting from Karai.
I was about to charge Karai when a legion of Footbots dropped down on us from
above and we were all suddenly fighting to keep our heads. I mean, we can
handle a couple of Footbots no problem, but when we’re outnumbered like this,
it is much more difficult. I slice up a few Footbots before I manage to make my
way to Karai. The two of us battle viciously. Until…Karai smirks. And I know
something is about to go horribly wrong.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Mikey! I whip around just in time to see my youngest brother holding his
bleeding arm to his chest. I turn back around just in time to see Karai leap
over to where my little brother is standing with some kind of tranquilizer gun.
Mikey doesn’t see her! Mikey doesn’t see her! I thought frantically as I raced
towards them, slicing Foot left and right along the way.
“Mikey!” I yelled, but it wasn’t just me. Someone else was yelling, too. I
sliced through enough of the patch of Footbots that I could once again see my
orange-masked sibling. Karai was coming up behind him with the tranquilizer
gun. She was about to—wait…what?!—
One of the bots threw down a smoke bomb.
Someone screamed: “RAPH NO!”
My chest constricted with dread at those words. “Raphael.” I whispered under my
breath. Belatedly I realized that the cry had left me frozen, and I pushed past
my building dread to make my way forward as the smoke began to clear.
“Michelangelo.” I sighed with relief. My little brother was still there, whole
and very much alive. He was now seated on the ground with his knees pulled up
to his chest. I dropped down beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Mikey,
you okay?” He nodded slowly. The sound of feet running towards us made me tense
and jump to my feet, pointing my swords at the intruder.
Don emerged from the haze of smoke that was left with a dark frown. His bright
brown eyes glinted with the fiery tint of anger as he spoke. “I tried to
follow, but I lost them.”
The anger in his eyes told me what his words had not: they got away with
Raphael. I closed my eyes and took a deep, slow breath. After all, I made both
Sensei and Raph a promise. I promised them that I wouldn’t apply any kind of
favoritism in training or in the field.
“Leo?” Mikey asked, finally speaking from where he sat on the ground. Donnie
immediately realized that our youngest sibling was injured and he bent down to
tend the cut on Mikey’s arm.
Slowly, I turned to Michelangelo.
He looked up into my eyes. “What are we going to do now?”
I looked out across the New York cityscape, trying to contain my desperation,
despair, and rage. My voice was as level and straightforward as my answer:
“We’re going to get our brother back.”
 
So I set to tracking Karai and her ninjas. I know that she’ll purposely lead a
visible trail to try and lure all four of us into her trap. That’s just the way
she is. It’s all a game to her. A form of sick entertainment.
The tracks lead us all the way across the city to the warehouse district. The
three of us peered in through the skylight and saw Karai inside. It looked like
her Footbots were gone, but we weren’t taking any chances.
Donnie opened a panel on the skylight and we all dropped down into the shadows,
creeping towards Karai’s position.
“Hello, Leo.” She purred.
I growled lowly and stepped out of the shadows. It was no use trying to hide.
Not when she knew I was there. “Where is Raphael?!” Karai’s smugness coupled
with the fact that she had Raphael making me absolutely furious.
She led me over towards the wall, an area which was darkly shadowed, but as my
eyes adjusted I saw my lover chained and hanging against the concrete surface.
“Right here.” She murmured, seductively, but she was only making me nauseous.
My eyes concernedly scanned my lover’s body for any serious injuries and I
found none. I let out a sigh of relief. But as Karai continued to approach
Raphael I grew increasingly on edge. “You know Leo…I think I might just keep
him.” She began. I started seeing red. Oh no she didn’t! “He’s very handsome,
don’t you think!” Get the fuck away from him! “Fierce and strong, yet warm and
vibrant, like a flame.”
I wanted to scream but I found myself unable to move for fear that she’d hurt
Raph. I watched as she put her hands on him and he began to squirm, desperately
trying to avoid her touch. And then…she placed her lips on his. My heart
dropped. My lover struggled, whimpering in pain as she bit his lip. There were
tears running down his cheeks. I tore my eyes away as a trembling tear slid
down my cheek. It wasn’t until she pulled away that I dared to look up again.
Raphael’s bright green eyes met mine. They were wide, terrified, and broken. I
could feel more tears building up in my eyes, but as soon as I turned to Karai
they withered away as I was consumed with anger.
The next thing I knew I had sliced into her side, staining my katanas and the
floor of the warehouse with her blood. She screamed, and I glared down into her
eyes. “Don’t you ever touch Raphael again or you won’t escape with your life!”
She shrunk away from me, horrified by my outburst. “Now go before I kill you.”
I whispered as I turned my back to her. If she had any sense, she wouldn’t test
my patience by hesitating.
I didn’t hesitate. I went straight to Raphael and busted the chains that were
holding him captive.
I heard Mikey and Don drop down into the warehouse behind us, but I didn’t
really acknowledge them. “Geez, Leo, ya think you maybe went a little bit hard
on her?”
I didn’t grace that question with an answer and I side-stepped Raph as he tried
to pull me into a hug. I couldn’t even look him in the eyes. Not after the way
I’d failed him. I’m his older brother and his lover, and today, I failed as
both. That’s unacceptable. Raphael deserves better.
This whole thing was my fault. If I had been more vigilant on patrol, if I’d
seen Mikey’s injury sooner, if I’d moved faster, if I hadn’t allowed myself to
be distracted by Karai, none of this would have happened! And Karai wouldn’t
have…
Finally, I gather the strength to at least look at my red-masked sibling.
Raphael’s lip is bleeding, the crimson liquid oozing out of it is dripping down
his chin. Guilt swells in my gut and I look down before Raph can make eye
contact with me.
“Leo—” He begins, but I cut him off.
“Let’s go home.”
I know what he’ll say. He’ll say that it wasn’t my fault. He’ll say that I’m
not to blame and that he doesn’t blame me. And I don’t deserve that. I don’t
deserve his forgiveness. 
===============================================================================
 
Third Person POV
Raphael and Mikey were watching cartoons. Well…to be accurate…Michelangelo was
watching cartoons. Raphael was staring into space. They’d gotten home less than
twenty minutes ago and the second they had, Raph had plopped down on the couch
and started staring at the blank television. It had creeped Mikey out so much
that he turned on the television just so that the atmosphere wasn’t quite so
heavy. Donnie took a sample of Raph’s blood to analyze whatever Karai had
knocked Raph out with to make sure it wasn’t toxic. After that the genius had
barricaded himself in the lab with an order that no one disturb him. Leonardo
had rushed off to report to Master Splinter even faster than usual. After ten
minutes of sitting on the couch in absolute silence there was a low, quiet
sound and the youngest turtle looked up. That wasn’t what he thought it was,
was it? It was. It was a sniffle. There were tears in Raph’s eyes, and a few
already running down his cheeks.
Mikey gaped. He hadn’t seen Raphael cry in years. And he didn’t need to be a
mind reader to know why his older sibling was crying. Mikey glanced towards the
door to the dojo, with half a mind to storm in there and give Leo a good smack
in the face, but he realized that without Leo, Raph needed someone right now.
So he wrapped his arms around his older brother’s shoulders and leaned into
Raph’s side. Surprisingly enough, Raph didn’t push him away.
About two hours later Donatello finally emerged from the lab. His face haggard
and his lip stiff. He was not pleased with his findings. Not at all. He needed
to make sure that Raph slept in the lab for observation tonight and he figured
Leo could help with that.
But when he went into the dojo and questioned Master Splinter, the old rat told
him that Leonardo had already gone to bed. A little bit annoyed, Don asked
whether the blue-masked turtle had taken Raphael to bed with him. To his
surprise, Splinter informed him that Raphael and Michelangelo were in the main
room watching television. He had noticed that the television was on, but he had
assumed that it was just Mikey. Usually when Mikey and Raph watched television
things were a lot…louder. The genius frowned. He had expected that Raphael and
Leonardo would spend the night together in view of what had happened but…hm.
Donnie’s eyes narrowed. Why would Leo be avoiding Raphael? Hm. That question
had many possible answers the most likely of which was: Leo feels betrayed by
the fact that Raph kissed Karai. But Leo wasn’t that type. So that made the
second possibility much more likely: Leo blames himself. Yes, that was a lot
more like the Leo he knew. But the problem was that unless Leonardo explained
himself to Raphael, Raph would think that Leo didn’t…Hmm. That is a very
serious predicament indeed. Hmm.
I need to talk to Leo and Raph.
Don concluded.
Preferably separately.
He headed out into the main room and over to the couch. The sight that greeted
him made him pause. Raphael and Michelangelo were laying side by side on the
couch fast asleep. And Mikey had his arms wrapped tightly around their hothead
sibling. Raphael, in turn had one arm thrown loosely over the young turtle.
Donnie frowned and fought to prevent himself from letting out a growl of
jealousy.
Wait a second.
All of Donatello’s thoughts came to a staggering halt as he stared at the scene
in front of him.
Jealous? I’m jealous? No way. Why would I be jealous? Because Raph is sleeping
on the couch…with MIKEY?!
The genius’s eyes went wide and his face paled.
…Oh crap. I am jealous.
Donatello face-palmed.
Oh man…when the shell did I fall for Mikey?
Memories of happy times with his younger sibling filled his head, but he shook
those thoughts aside as soon as he realized that his feelings were a lot older
and ran a lot deeper than he’d suspected.
Now was not the time. Right now he need to wake Raphael up and get him in the
lab. It would probably be better to wake Mikey first. “Michelangelo!”
“Nuh-uh Master Splinter! Five more minutes!”
Don chuckled and rolled his eyes at his younger sibling’s cuteness…wait, what?!
Again, the genius decided that he’d sort through those thoughts later. “Mikey,
wake up!”
“Uh-Huh?!” Bright blue eyes opened wide as he shot up off the couch. Then he
sighed with relief. “Oh good, it’s you. I thought it was another evil mutant
squirrel!”
Don sighed. “Mikey, it’s late. I need you to help me get Raph into the lab.”
Those bright baby-blue eyes were immediately clouded with concern. “Why? What’s
wrong? Is he gonna be okay?” He asked all at once.
The purple-masked turtle sighed. Naïve or no, Mikey always had a way of reading
the meanings behind their words. So he had to be quick to reassure or the
orange-masked turtle would completely lose it. “Nothing’s wrong, per say, just
that it looks like Karai injected Raph with more than just your standard
knockout drugs. He’s probably going to be really sick for the next couple of
days so we need to keep an eye on him. I wanna hook him up to heart monitor and
an IV.”
“But he’ll be okay?” Mikey asked insistently.
Yet again, the brainiac sighed. He knew that Mikey wouldn’t be satisfied until
Donnie told the truth, so he might as well get it over with. “He should be, but
it looks like she gave him some kind of mutagen-enhanced virus. I really don’t
know how it will affect him, so there’s no real way of knowing for certain, but
you know I’ll do everything I can.”
Mikey beamed and Don couldn’t help but smile back. He suddenly found himself
wrapped in a tight hug. He slowly wrapped his arms around Michelangelo, and he
could feel his cheeks getting warmer.
“I know you will, Don. You’re the best. Raph couldn’t be in better hands.”
Mikey’s words warmed his heart. “Thanks Mikey.”
Michelangelo just smiled. But his smile dimmed and Don raised a curious eye-
ridge. He followed Mikey’s gaze to the door of their older brother’s room.
“Leo?”
“Yeah. He’s been a dick to Raph since we left that warehouse. Wouldn’t even
talk to him. Raph’s real hurt by the whole thing. I think he thinks that Leo
doesn’t love him anymore.”
“That’s absurd Mikey, of course Leo still loves him!” Donatello contended. He
hadn’t exactly meant to leap to Leo’s defense, but surely Raph thinks more of
Leo than that.
Mikey held up his hands at Don’s outburst and responded calmly. “Raph takes
things to heart, bro. He’s emotional. Too emotional. We both know that. And
right now, he’s an emotional wreck.”
Soft, brown eyes fell contemplatively on the figure of their red-masked
sibling. “You’re right, Mikey. I’ll go talk to Leo. Maybe you can get Raph into
my lab.” Don said resignedly.
But Mikey surprised his older brother by shaking his head. “No bro. You take
Raph and I’ll go talk to Leo. If he still loves Raph, which I know he does,
he’ll be down before you can say ‘Cowabunga’.”
And the orange-masked turtle was gone. Don stared after him for a few moments
before he roused his immediate older sibling. “Raph? I need you to come with
me.” He dragged Raph up and began leading the hothead towards the lab. The only
reply he got to his question was a couple of grunts.
It wasn’t until they were inside the lab and Donnie had exhausted himself by
helping his overly muscular sibling onto the lab table that Raph muttered,
“Donnie?”
“Yeah, buddy?” Donnie asked softly, noticing that Raph looked pale and dazed.
“I don’t feel so good.”
The brainiac nodded. “I know. But it’s okay. I’m here. You’re gonna be sick for
the next couple of days, but I’ll take care of you.”
Raph nodded, dazedly. It took him a while to finally meet Donnie’s gaze again,
but when he did he asked: “She injected me with something, huh?”
“Yes, she did. But you’ll be okay.” Don put a hand over Raph’s and smiled. “I’m
sure that Leo will be here to sit with you soon.”
Raph scoffed, but it went hoarse and he choked on air. Once he’d finished
coughing, Raphael snickered. “No he won’t, Donnie. Leo doesn’t want to have
anything to do with me.”
“Not true. He loves you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Wish I could be as sure as you.”
The brainiac frowned sadly down at his frail and depressed sibling, who seemed
to be growing sicker by the second. “He loves you so much.”
Raph coughed wretchedly and sighed. “He used to.”
“Nothing’s changed, Raphael.”
“I kissed Karai.”
“Oh, and that’s gonna change the fact that he loves you? And you didn’t kiss
her, Raph! She kissed you! I didn’t see any indication that you were kissing
her back.”
“It doesn’t make a difference!” The hothead argued weakly.
“Yes it does!” Don shouted. But he immediately quieted when he saw the way Raph
was trembling and the tears that had gathered in the corners of the watery neon
green eyes. He bent down and put a hand on Raph’s shoulder. “Leo loves you
Raph. He’s just afraid to face you because he’s blaming himself.”
There was a beat of silence. Donatello knew that Raphael was digesting the
information that the genius had just fed him.
Finally there was a hoarse growl followed by a grumble. “The selfless prick.”
Don smiled. There’s the Raph he knew. “Always blaming himself, making me think
he doesn’t care because he’s too busy wallowing in a pool of shame to realize
that I need him.”
Don smiled a little. “That sounds awfully selfish, Raph.”
“I am selfish!” The hothead exclaimed, though his tough voice was a little
strained. “I’m selfish and he’s selfless, so I figure that in the long-run we
cancel each other out.” Raph tried to push himself up, but Donatello shot out
and held him down.
“Raph, you’re in no condition—”
“But I gotta tell Leo—”
“You can tell him when he gets here. For now just rest.”
“But—”
“REST Raphael! Or I’ll give you a sedative!”
He grumbled, obviously annoyed. But he was asleep less than a minute
afterwards.
===============================================================================
 
Michelangelo went into his room for a few minutes. Not only to give Don some
time to move Raph, but also to think out how he should approach his older
brother. Hm. With Leo it was hard, because the eldest was difficult to predict.
Except when…hmm. Maybe that was the answer…
Mikey went back into the main room. He could hear Don and Raph talking in the
lab. As soon as their conversation ended and he heard Donnie moving around the
room getting the equipment hooked up to Raph he took action. He moved slowly
and lethargically down the hallway and yawned. If he wanted this to play out
the way it did in his head his acting needed to be perfect in every detail.
Mikey deliberately slowed at Leo’s door and knocked loudly.
It took less than thirty seconds for Leo to open it. Obviously he’d heard Mikey
coming. Good. He was expecting a confrontation, also good.
Oh but it wouldn’t be the confrontation he was expecting.
Mikey yawned dramatically. “Hey bro.”
Leo frowned. “Hey Mikey. What do you need?”
“Just stopping by,” Mikey yawned again, “on my way to bed to say goodnight.”
“Goodnight Mikey.” Leo said plainly as he started to close the door yet again. 
Mikey yawned again and turned to head for his room, but just before Leo could
close the door he called out. “Oh! And Leo?”
“Yeah?” The eldest answered, obviously perturbed that Mikey was taking so long.
“Raph’s spending the night in Donnie’s lab.” He said mid-yawn. Leo froze in the
doorway. Mikey inwardly smirked. Gotcha.
“What was that, Mikey? It sounded like you said Raph was going to spend the
night in the lab?”
“Mm-hm.” The youngest replied sleepily.
“Why? What’s wrong?” With each passing second Leo was growing increasingly
panicked and Mikey was stunned when he turned to find his older brother less
than a foot away from him.
But the youngest turtle went on with his charade unfazed. He blinked sleepily
and shrugged. “I dunno. Don wouldn’t tell me much about it. But apparently it’s
serious. Raph was hooked up to all kinds of wires and monitors. It looked real
bad. I hope he’ll be okay. He’s getting worse and worse with every second that
passes. I’m scared Leo.” Mikey allowed his genuine fear and concern to show. He
tensed in shock as Leo pulled him into a brief hug, but he accepted the offer
of comfort for what it was.
Leo quickly pulled away. “Mikey I…I have to…”
Michelangelo nodded. “I know big brother. Make sure you tell him you love him.”
Leo nodded and rushed down the hall and straight into the lab. He stopped dead
in the doorway at what he saw.
Mikey was right. Raph was hooked up to all kinds of monitors. There was an IV
in his arm. His eyes were closed in what, from afar, looked like a peaceful
slumber. But when Leo looked closer he realized that Raphael’s lips were pulled
into a tight line, and his eyes screwed shut every once in a while, as though
the hothead was trying to escape from a nightmare. But even more worrisome than
that was Raph’s skin tone. Their hotheaded brother was normally a stunningly
attractive shade of emerald green, but now he was pale, clammy, and blotchy.
Leo rushed to his lover’s side and clutched a cold hand in his. He pressed his
lips softly to Raphael’s and murmured, “I love you, Raph. I’m sorry. I’m so
sorry. And now I’ve failed you as a mate once again. I should have been there
for you. I should have been here by your side. I-I failed you. And I’m sorry. I
love you so much. So much. Please. Stay with me.”
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