Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/10178366.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Major_Character_Death, Underage, Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence
  Category:
      M/M, Gen
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Harry_Potter/Severus_Snape
  Character:
      Albus_Dumbledore, Harry_Potter, Hermione_Granger, Neville_Longbottom, Ron
      Weasley, Severus_Snape, Draco_Malfoy, Voldemort
  Additional Tags:
      Explicit_Language, Self-Harm, Sexual_Content, Spoilers, Action/Adventure,
      Angst, Tragedy, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Mystery, Suspense, Romance, Science
      Fiction_&_Fantasy
  Collections:
      HPFandom
  Stats:
      Published: 2006-11-07 Completed: 2007-01-06 Chapters: 4/4 Words: 10532
****** The Fallen ******
by ssjrice [archived by HPFandom_archivist]
Summary
     It all started with the usual insult. Soon enough, it bloomed into a
     dark and timid romance that ended in a tragic victory and a defeat
     that would bring the entire world to its knees. Snarry
Notes
     Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally
     archived at HP_Fandom, which was closed for health and financial
     reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its
     works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I
     e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but
     may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator,
     please contact me using the e-mail address on HP_Fandom_collection
     profile.
***** 1 *****
A/N: Okay… so this chapter is really light for most of the rest of the story.
It gets really dark, angsty, and tragic, so if you don’t like that I warn you
to leave now. This chapter isn’t any of those things, but trust me, it’s
coming. And yeah, this is eventually a Snarry.
Disclaimer: I don’t own it… duh.
Enjoy!
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Chapter_1:_The_Fallen
“Pathetic Potter,” Snape’s silky voice purred as he glared down into Harry’s
potion, a sneer stretching mockingly on his face. “You fail.”
Harry was outraged. “What!” he barked, standing up heatedly, “What do you mean
I fail?”
Snape’s sneer turned to a scowl. “I mean you fail, you didn’t pass, you get a
‘F’. Now you don’t even know plain English? Merlin, Potter’s actually managing
to get even more idiotic as time goes on.” The Slytherins snickered and Harry
felt his face grow hot. He balled his fists tightly and grit his teeth in order
to calm down. Bursting out in the middle of class would do him no good. It’s
not as if Snape would listen anyway. No. Harry sat down. He had a better idea.
Harry took out a piece of parchment and began to write furiously. So furiously,
in fact, that Ron scooted away a few inches and Hermoine furrowed her brows
worriedly. “Harry,” she asked carefully.
Harry did not look up, but continued to write fervently as he bit his lip in
concentration.
She tried again. “Harry?”
Harry’s head shot up suddenly, making Ron jump so high that he toppled off his
chair and landed on the cold stone floor with a loud thump. Malfoy chuckled and
high-fived Goyle. Ron blushed madly and scrambled back into his chair. Snape
merely rolled his eyes from his desk up at the front of the room and spoke in
an annoyed, I-Can’t-Bloody-Stand-Gryffindors voice, “Graceful as ever, Weasley.
If you don’t mind, quit distracting my class and get back to work. That goes
for the rest of you as well. I don’t want to hear another peep out you. Write
your papers. They are due at the end of class; if or if not you complete them.
And Mr. Malfoy, cease that audacious giggling at once or I leave you to the
Headmaster.” Malfoy stopped at once, turning quickly to his parchment.
Seemingly content for the moment, Snape turned back to grading silently.
Ron scowled angrily, crossing his arms in embarrassment.
“What are you writing Harry?” Hermoine whispered. Harry was still scribbling
intensively on the parchment before him, entranced in his work. He mumbled
something incomprehensible to Hermoine in response, and when he realized she
was not satisfied, he turned to her.
“I’m writing a letter to Snape,” he replied, “That greasy bastard will get a
piece of my mind. I’m sick of his crap. I won’t let him make a fool of me like
that anymore.”
Ron scratched his head absently. “But he’s been doing that for years,” he said.
“I know,” Harry growled, “And I’ve always hated it. I’m at the end of the rope
and I can’t stand it any longer.”
“I don’t think it’s such a good idea,” Hermoine divulged tentatively, “He could
get really angry…”
“Bullocks!” Harry replied a little too harshly, “He’s always peeved when it
comes to me. It’ll be no different. There’s no law against letters.”
”Yeah,” Ron agreed, “But letters saying “I hate you, go die” aren’t exactly
welcomed either.”
Harry paused. “I didn’t say that in it…” he scanned over the letter, “I don’t
think I did at least.”
Ron rolled his eyes. “Whatever, mate,” he said, “Just as long as you don’t
involve me in this.”
“Don’t worry, this is all between me and him.”
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
“Alright,” Snape called, “Bring your parchments up and you’re dismissed.”
The students hurriedly rushed up to the desk, shoving their papers in a heap
and running out the door as if there had been a blast-ended skrewt in the room,
which was actually a possibility. Snape frowned and turned to the mess of
parchments in front of him and began to grade.
Ridiculous. Wormwood can not possibly be compatible with Rosemary. D
You’re as pathetic as Potter! You call this a paper? C
Wolfsbane is not a type of candy. Have you even listened in this class? D
Snape stopped suddenly in his writing and looked next on the stack. It was
Potter’s, but there was something strange about it. There was another piece of
parchment attached to it, folded neatly.
“What in the name of Merlin?” Snape muttered, picking up the parchment and
unfolding it. It was a letter. Very strange indeed. He read silently and his
eyes began to widen. What in the hell!
Dear Professor Snape,
I know, since you make it painfully obvious every day, that you don’t like me,
maybe even hate me. And that’s fine, because honestly, I’m not particularly
fond of you either. Even though this may be true, I think is bloody messed up
how you have to constantly display this dislike publicly. I know how much you
love to make a complete fool out of me, but I think it’s shite, and I won’t
stand for it any longer.
So that is why I have decided to make you like me, no matter how long it takes.
I will come to the dungeons every night until you quit treating me like shite,
and I won’t leave, even if you don’t acknowledge me. I’ll be there, and don’t
think I won’t. I’m sick of this, it’s ridiculous. So you better be prepared to
see me tonight, because I’m coming.
Sincerely,
The Insufferable Brat Potter
P.S. And don’t try to kick me out. I’ve already told Dumbledore what I’m doing,
and he supports it.
Why that! The brat had even got the Headmaster involved. Snape was seething.
Coming down to his chambers every night! Preposterous! He threw the letter
angrily across the room. That…. that…. little Golden Boy had already ruined
every other part of his life. Now he was going to invade his only remaining
privacy?
Snape stood quickly and walked towards the door. He’d put a stop to this right
now. He stopped mid-step and remember that the Headmaster was a pert of this.
He obviously had something planned. That conniving old codger always had
something up his sleeve; but befriending Potter? He had to be joking! He
couldn’t possibly think that that would ever happen in any of the seven levels
of hell! Snape growled and swirled back around in a flurry of robes. He sat
grumpily back down at his desk and grimaced at the thought of Potter being down
in the dungeons every night. Surely the boy wouldn’t last very long. Very few
seventeen year-olds had that long of an attention span. And Potter probably
didn’t like this any more than he did; but then why was he doing this? Did he
really want Snape to like him? Or was he just trying to get Snape off his back?
Snape expected the latter.
Well, like he said, the boy wouldn’t last. But until he gave up, he would just
have to ignore him. There was now way in HELL he was going to let that brat
into his chambers.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Snape opened his door looking severely displeased. It was eight o’ clock, and
already the Slytherins had begun to whisper.
Harry was sitting against the wall next to Snape’s chambers, a look of
determined and unbreakable defiance etched deeply into his features.
Snape growled, but Harry did not flinch.
Opening his door wider, Snape glowered at Harry. “Come on Potter,” he spat
irritably, “Quit sulking and get in.”
***** 2 *****
Chapter_2:_The_Fallen
They sat in a cold, uncomfortable silence as Harry surveyed Snape’s personal
chambers with a morbid interest. It was surprisingly more welcoming than the
rest of Snape’s dungeon haven, but still not cozy by any means. No wonder this
guy was so stiff all the time! The couch in the sitting area was a dark red
leather, which surprised Harry, for he thought it would be green to honor
Slytherin. Yet, as he looked around the room, there were hardly any colors,
excepting the well-shined wood and some books. The couch sat before a large
wooden table and crackling fireplace that seemed to radiate almost no warmth in
the cold space. The two sat on opposite sides of the couch, trying desperately
to stay as far apart as possible.
Harry was frankly quite surprised that Snape had let him in so quickly. He was
expecting the pissy professor to leave him out there at the mercy of the
Slytherins all night. Why had he let him in like that? It was almost, not
really, but almost a nice thing to do; in a way.
Snape, who was brooding on the other end of the couch, looked around grumpily
and his eyes settled on a large bottle of dragon’s blood. He was wondering the
exact same thing as Harry. Why had he let the brat in? He could have just left
him to fend for himself all night.
“Professor?” Harry asked.
Snape scowled. “What is it Potter?”
“It doesn’t exactly work if we just sit here, you know,” Harry said, “The
getting along thing.”
“I never said I wanted to do this, Potter!” Snape spat. Harry didn’t waver. “If
it were up to me, you wouldn’t even be at this bloody school! But as it is, the
Headmaster always seems to be on your side.” He bit the inside of his cheek to
stop from saying something bad about the Dumbledore.
“Yeah, well that’s not the point!” Harry said, starting to get heated up, “The
point is, this is going to last forever if we don’t just get along. I’m sick of
all this crap! I’m sick of being humiliated. I will keep on coming back here
until that doesn’t happen anymore. Even if it takes forever.”
“You’re not coming to my chambers every night Potter,” Snape replied
dangerously, “Not only do I have work to do, but you have schoolwork and your
little friends as well. I’m sure you don’t want to be down here any more than I
want you to be down here.”
“Well what do you suggest we do then? Give up? I’m not giving up, I won’t!”
Harry’s fists were clenched.
“Fine, Potter,” Snape growled acrimoniously through gritted teeth, “But unless
you want to be eaten alive by my House, I suggest you come up with a more
preferable method, although none of this is very preferable.”
Harry sat back and crossed his arms indignantly, looking into the fire
thoughtfully. “Yeah, I guess…”
Snape’s eyebrows rose slightly. Had Potter just agreed with him? Well, there
was a first time for everything.
“I dunno,” Harry mumbled, “I’ll think of something. But right now I have a
Charms essay to write, so I guess…. I’ll see you later then.” He didn’t look at
Snape as he left. It was almost as if he was trying to avoid eye contact.
Snape frowned and did not reply. So Potter was really serious about this?
Strange. After all these years, had he finally just snapped? All the fame must
have gone to his head. He probably thought that he could move the moon with a
wave of his wand. But then again, maybe he could.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Harry had spent the entire night thinking of a way to pull through with his
plan. He refused to give up, that just wouldn’t do. He didn’t want to be made a
fool of any longer. It ended now, even if he had to befriend the greasy git
potions professor; and this time he had a better, subtler idea.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Snape sat pensively in his chair, watching as the students loudly congregated
in the dungeons. Potter and his two tumors, Granger and Weasley, were one of
the last to join them, but that was no different than any other day.
The students took their seats and were silent as soon as Snape stood. He
smirked, liking the feel of power over the teens. “Today,” he said smoothly,
“You will take you mid-term written exam.” The class groaned. “Yes, yes,” Snape
continued, “It has two-hundred questions, so you best get started. It is due at
the end of the period, and-- no, Miss Granger, there is no physical activity.
This is a written exam, not a demonstrative one.” Hermoine lowered her hand
bashfully. “So,” He waved his wand and the papers flew across the room, landing
on each table. “You may begin.”
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Snape had presumed that Harry would stay after class and divulge to him his
next ingenious idea for ‘bonding’, or at least amends, but he turned in his
test with all the rest of the students and left for lunch, not even looking at
the bemused Professor.
Snape thought for a moment. Perhaps the boy had not yet figured out new means
of acquiescence.
Then it hit him. Of course.
He sifted through the pile of tests, and, sure enough, a folded piece of
parchment was attached to Potter’s. Snape sighed grimly and unfolded the
parchment, reading its contents slowly.
Dear Professor,
I’ve figured out a way to do this. It’s easy enough, really, and no one else
would know about it, so Slytherins wouldn’t try to kill me and stuff like that.
We could just write letters. I know it sound stupid, but I could hand them in
with my assignments, and you could write back when you return our work after
you grade it.
Don’t automatically say no or anything. I think it’s a good idea. That way you
don’t even have to see me. It’s perfect. You don’t have to write a lot. Just… I
don’t know, whatever you want, I guess. So there’s my idea. Do it or don’t, I
just think it would work.
Sincerely,
Harry Potter
Snape sighed, laying the letter down on his desk and leaning back, stretching
slightly. Damn, those robes were uncomfortable! He rubbed his forehead lightly,
contemplating the situation. Well, they had to do something, right? He supposed
writing letters wasn’t all that bad; but if Potter expected him to write long
ones, he had something else coming. There was no way in HELL he was going to
write long, heartfelt letter to the brat. Wait… why did that comment sound so
familiar?
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
“Here are your tests back,” Snape muttered lethargically to the class. He had
gotten little sleep, as he had stayed up to replenish the potions stock for the
infirmary.
Harry picked up his test leisurely, not really caring what his grade was. He
already knew he had failed. A small piece of parchment caught his eye.
Could it be? Had Snape actually written back?
Harry couldn’t stop his heart from beating a little more quickly as he open the
letter. He hadn’t thought Snape would actually do it.
Dear Mr. Potter,
I find your idea to be suitable, and will commence to reply as long as you
write me; but do not expect long letters, or you will be sadly disappointed. I
believe I shall let you choose the topic of discussion, if you so wish.
Regards,
Professor Snape
Harry frowned. The letter was short, but it’s not as if he really cared anyway.
Snape had agreed to write, and that was something. Maybe they could actually be
civil to each other after all. So he had to choose the topic of discussion,
huh? Okay. Harry pondered for a moment. What should they talk about? Something
light, probably. Quidditch? He wasn’t sure if Snape was into that, but he might
as well find out. He took out a scrap of parchment and scribbled down his note.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I’m glad you accepted. So I have to choose what to talk about? Fine, how about
Quidditch? I’m not sure if you like it or anything. If you don’t, just tell me
and I’ll think of something else.
-Potter
Snape studied the note for a moment. It was certainly much less formal than the
previous ones, but he supposed Potter was not one to upkeep formalities, so he
shrugged it off and picked up a quill, scratching down his reply.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Potter,
I do not dislike Quidditch. In fact, I’m rather fond of it. What is your
favorite team?
-Snape
Harry stiffened slightly. Not only had Snape signed the note almost casually,
but he had actually asked Harry a question about what he liked. That was… odd.
Harry shivered a little and took out his quill.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I like the Wasps, but Ron seems to fancy the Cannons. Personally, I think the
team is raving mad. They can’t even fly straight! But to each his own, I guess.
What about you?
-Potter
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Potter,
I would expect Weasley to like a team such as that. They’re about as clumsy as
he is, or perhaps even Longbottom. I too prefer the Wasps. They are more
precise and direct in their game. They also employ fair play, which I rather
admire in a Quidditch team.
-Snape
Harry raised his eyebrows. Snape into fair play? Now that was something no one
would ever believe.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I don’t think anyone’s as clumsy as Neville, Professor, but that team’s pretty
bloody close. I’m surprised that you support fairness in Quidditch, yet the
Slytherin team plays anything but a fair game. You have to admit that. Everyone
knows it.
-Potter
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I’m afraid you’ve got me there. If you ever tell anyone this, I’ll rip your
tongue out and use it in a potion, but I know perfectly well that Slytherin
cheats constantly. If you haven’t noticed, Slytherins aren’t the most virtuous
of the houses. If anything, we are the most conniving.
-Snape
That was strange. Snape hadn’t started this letter off with ‘Potter’. Harry
shook his head and smiled at the fact that Snape had just admitted that
Slytherins cheated. That was something that he never thought Snape would have
confessed to even if his life depended on it. Chuckling softly, he picked up
his quill and wrote down his reply. This wasn’t enjoyable, per se, but the
writing of notes was becoming… familiar, somehow. It was a comfortable routine.
So comfortable, in fact, that Harry didn’t even notice when he signed his first
name at the end of the letter.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Snape sighed heavily, walked stiffly into his chambers, and strode over to his
desk, falling down in a agitated heap onto his chair. The day had been a long
one, and he was ready to relax, if you can call grading relaxing.
He saw Harry’s assignment on top and felt a small smile tugging at the corner
of his lips as he opened the note that was, once again, attached. Realizing he
had been smiling, however slightly, Snape recomposed himself and set his mouth
back into the usual thin line. It wasn’t that he enjoyed Potter’s letters, not
at all. It was merely that it was something different. It was someone actually
talking to him, asking him questions and casually chatting with him. He had
never had anyone like that, and although he would never admit it, he always
seemed to get a little more relaxed and comfortable when he read Potter’s
notes.
He leaned back and stretched his legs out, reading the note quietly.
That’s true, but I don’t think that is Slytherin’s only trait. They’re also
cunning and somewhat devious.
Did I tell you that I was almost sorted into Slytherin? It’s true. The sorting
hat wanted to put me there, but I asked not to be, so he put me in Gryffindor.
I suppose that if I had been in Slytherin, I probably would have done quite
well. If it wasn’t for Malfoy. He seems to genuinely hate me. I don’t hate him,
but I can’t stand how he treats Hermoine and Ron. I don’t care how anyone
treats me, but when they insult my friends, they cross a line.
Those two were the first people who were ever there for me, besides Hagrid, and
so I feel like I owe it to them to protect them. That, and I guess I have some
hero complex because of the whole “Boy Who Lived” thing, but I never really
wanted that title.
How is it that I’m so famous for something I don’t even remember?
Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble. I’ll shut up now.
-Harry
Snape’s eyes narrowed in confusion. Thoughts were racing haphazardly through
his head. Har--Potter had almost been a Slytherin? And the part about how he
only cared about his friends, not himself; was Potter really that selfless? Did
he truly not want the fame of being The Boy Who Lived? That was ridiculous. He
watched for years as the boy was surrounded by friends and followers. He
couldn’t possibly dislike that! Snape grabbed his quill and incredulously wrote
down his answer.
And wait a moment, had Potter just signed his first name?
The funny thing was, Snape was so surprised by Harry’s open letter, that he
didn’t realize when he, himself signed not as ‘Snape’, but ‘Severus’.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oh my! It seems our boys are beginning to get more comfortable with each other!
But don’t be fooled. Even though this chapter has gone over the span of a week
or more, they’ll take much longer to get closer. Tee hee hee! I’m so evil.
***** 3 *****
Chapter_3:_The_Fallen
Harry sighed and flopped down onto his four-poster bed. Tossing his book bag
aside, he placed his hands lightly on his forehead and massaged his temples,
trying to rid himself of his wretched headache. Groaning, he muttered something
about hinkypunks and looked out the dormitory window at the clear, blue sky as
a black owl soared by. Looking back down at his book bag, he thought of
something that could get rid of his headache.
He grabbed the bag and flipped open the flap, sifting through a bunch of
crumpled up parchment. Grinning, he pulled out a small piece of parchment and
unfolded it, leaning back against his headboard.
His heart began to thump a little as he read. Harry hadn’t really noticed when
he had started to enjoy Snape’s letters. It had just happened spontaneously.
Although he wouldn’t even admit it to himself, Snape’s letters always put a
smile on his face and made him feel a bit better when he was stressed. How
Snape could do that to him, he had no idea.
Pulling his jacket more closely around him, he read.
Come now. You can’t possibly be implying that you do not enjoy your countless
hordes of female admirers. I must admit that I am rather dubious. As for the
fact that you were almost a Slytherin, I think you would have done well in my
House. However, you are seemingly much more content as an insufferable
Gryffindor.
When it comes to Mr. Malfoy, I think you have every right to abhor him,
personally. He can be quite a pompous ass. (If you tell anyone I said that,
I’ll pickle you and put you in a jar) I suppose he gets that from his father.
It’s quite a common trait for the Malfoys.
And, you know, I realize you truly care for your friends. I cannot relate, for
I haven’t exactly had the best of friends, but I think you should not solely
concentrate on them. You don’t have to play the hero all the time. Protect
yourself too. You’re the most important and precious out of all of us. Don’t do
something stupid and die for something as dangerous as love. Life isn’t kind
enough to let you watch out for everyone and yourself at the same time.
-Severus
“Severus…” Harry blinked a few times and read the end again, “He said Severus.”
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Wow. I never thought I’d hear you diss a Malfoy. Ha ha. Well, strange things
happen every day. And I don’t really enjoy my… female admirers as much as you’d
think... Yeah, well.
Anyway, as for my friends, I know I should concentrate on myself too;
considering I’m the bloody Boy Who Lived and all, but I guess it’s just the
hero complex because I can’t help it. Maybe it’s just because I don’t know what
I’d do without them. I never had any friends when I was young, so they just…
mean a lot to me. If I lost them, I wouldn’t be able to go on. They’d die for
me, and I for them; and if Voldemort has a problem with that, then fuck him.
I’m not failing my friends. They’re all I’ve got.
And watch out there Severus (I can call you that right? Is that okay?), you
almost sound like you cared about me for a second. We wouldn’t want that, now
would we?
I’ll write you later.
Harry
Severus (yes, he’s now Severus…. I guess) blinked several times and re-read the
letter. So many things had caught his eye or surprised him that he didn’t know
where to start. For one thing, when had the two of them gotten so friendly?
They were enemies, not pals! They hated each other, and now Harry was calling
him Severus as if they had known each other for years! Well, they had known
each other for years, but still… Harry had asked if he could call him that…
And for another thing, what did he mean he didn’t have friends when he was
little? He was Harry Potter! The Boy Who Lived. The bloody savior of the world!
Why in the world would he not have friends? Severus shook his head, but Harry
had seemed so earnest in the letter. Oh brilliant. Now he’d done it. He’d just
called the boy Harry. Just. Bloody. Brilliant. He was finally going insane. He
was befriending his archrivals son.
Snape slapped his slender hand against his forehead in annoyance and
exasperation. Then he stopped suddenly. Wait… Harry was… gay?
Hurriedly, Severus grabbed the letter and read the lines again. “And I don’t
really enjoy my… female admirers as much as you’d think...” Bloody fuck. Harry
Potter was gay. Hold on. Why was he making a big deal out of this? Severus
dropped the letter and stood, his heart pounding. “Why should I care?” he
announced shakily to no one. “I don’t. I have no reason to care at all. It just
so happens that Potter and I have something in common. Potter, not Harry.
Potter. Like it’s always been. Just something in common. But that doesn’t mean
anything. It’s not a big deal. Not at all.” He haphazardly grabbed a bottle of
fire whiskey and poured a very… full glass. Taking a swig, he leaned against
the shelves and shivered as the whiskey scorched his throat, leaving a nice
tingling sensation in its wake.
‘If I don’t care that Harry is gay,’ Severus thought, taking another large gulp
of whiskey, ‘Then why do I care so much?’
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Severus had been acting strangely lately, and Harry was curious. The professor
had constantly stared at him during breakfast when he thought Harry wasn’t
looking. The thing was, Harry was looking. And he wanted to know why the bloody
hell Severus was staring so fervently at him. Had he grown another head?
Harry shook it off and stood. Turning to Ron and Hermoine he smiled. “I’m gonna
go get my book bag and head on to class,” he said, “I forgot I left it up in
the dormitory.”
Ron and Hermoine nodded. “Okay, bye Harry,” Hermoine waved.
“Mmpher,” Ron mumbled, nodding as he continued to shove a sandwich into his
mouth. Hermoine whacked him on the back of the head in annoyance and he began
to choke. Hermoine then changed her annoyance to annoyed concern and began to
hit Ron on the back until his sandwich was no longer lodged in his windpipe.
Wheezing a bit, Ron looked over to Harry and smiled weakly. “Bye then Harry,”
he said, his voice hoarse. He shot a glare at Hermoine who just rolled her eyes
and got back to reading the daily prophet.
Harry chuckled and turned away, walking out of the great hall and shaking his
head. When would those two just admit they liked each other?
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
After grabbing his bag, Harry rushed down towards Transfiguration, not
particularly caring to be turned into a toadstool or something equally
horrifying if he was late. He still had a good two minutes. He was going to
make it. And he would have, that is, if he hadn’t ran smack into a very tall,
very dark object around the corner and fallen flat on his bum.
Harry winced and frowned. Opening his eyes, he was surprised to find a hand of
long, slender fingers in front of them. It was the hand of a one Professor
Severus Snape. Harry took the hand gratefully and the teacher pulled him up,
not letting go of his hand as he helped Harry steady himself. Nor did he let go
of the student’s hand after he had steadied himself, which left them in quite
an awkward situation.
Quickly becoming uncomfortable, Harry smiled up at his Professor nervously.
Severus, coming to his senses, quickly dropped Harry’s hand, his pulse going a
mile a minute. ‘What was that all about?’ he thought.
“Potter,” Severus put on his customary sneer, “What are-“
“Harry.”
“Excuse me?”
“Call me Harry, Severus,” Harry said, smiling slightly.
Severus raised an eyebrow, contemplating. He hadn’t thought about how he could
talk to Harry outside of the letters. He only saw him in person when he was at
Potion’s class. “Not in class...” he said slowly, not sure where Harry wanted
to go with this.
Harry shrugged nonchalantly. “Of course,” he replied, “We wouldn’t want people
getting the wrong idea, would we? It’s not like we’re friends or anything.
Right Severus?” He gave the Professor a toothy grin.
Severus struggled to suppress a smile. Shaking off the impulse, he regained his
cool demeanor and nodded slightly. “Yes, we wouldn’t want that. Now then,
Harry, I think you should get to class.”
“Yeah,” Harry agreed, turning to go. Before leaving, he looked over his
shoulder, his eyes sparkling with a joke known only to him. “And Severus,” he
called, “You can smile, you know. I won’t tell a soul.” With that, he took off
down the hall towards his Transfiguration class.
Then Severus did something crazy. Something completely out of character.
Something incredible.
He smiled.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
What do you mean you didn’t have any friends when you were younger? You’re
famous; the bloody savior of the world. How could you not have any friends?
Your loyalty to your friends is astounding. It’s hard to believe you had no
friends, but if it is true, then I can actually relate to you for once, Harry.
Harry smiled slightly. An inkblot was here, as if Severus had hesitated in
writing Harry’s first name.
I didn’t really have many friends when I was younger. In fact, I didn’t have
any. As I’m sure you remember from your little trip in my pensieve, I was
tormented during my school years. Maybe that’s on of the reasons why I joined
the Dark Lord. It was a place that offered to notice me and acknowledge my
skill and my existence. It was a mistake, of course, but I was young. At the
time, all I wanted was to be accepted.
Not even my family could do that for me. My father was violent and drunk most
of the time. My parents fought a lot and, though my mother was kindly, kindness
could not save her when my father decided to take his rage out on her.
People do such strange things for attention. I admit I also wanted power, but
not so desperately as many fellow Death Eaters. Sometimes I wish I could take a
time turner and change what I did, but then I wouldn’t have become a spy; a
position that has turned out very useful in this war; if you can call it that.
I made a promise to you not to write long letters. I can’t break that, although
I already am, so I’ll go for now.
-Severus
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It’s true. I didn’t have friends. I had to live with my muggle aunt and uncle
and they hate wizards. They used to lock me in a cupboard for most of the day
until I got my Hogwarts letter. They then gave me my cousin’s second bedroom.
They tried to make it like I didn’t exist. My cousin, Dudley, would beat me up,
so no one liked me because they were afraid of him.
I am truly sorry for what my dad did to you, but I suppose that won’t make you
feel any better about it. What he did was horrible. I couldn’t believe my eyes.
I didn’t want to.
Why did you think there would be acceptance in Voldemort’s ranks? Did you
really think that it would make you important? I understand that, actually. He
offered for me to join him during first year. I was tempted. The ability to be
powerful, to finally be someone big and important. I denied him. I couldn’t do
that, not after what he had done to my parents. But I was tempted. Even if it
was just for a split second; and I felt horrible about it.
When I found out that you were one. I was shocked. I had always thought you
were “evil” in attitude, but to actually be in such a horrible group, I didn’t
think you would do that. I understand, like I said. But still… it’s just so
strange.
I’ve always believed you were good. I haven’t completely trusted you until
recently, but I always knew that you were on our side. You done so many things.
I know about when you saved me from my broom spazzing out in first year. Then
there’s the potion for Lupin, Occlumency (sorry I wasn’t too good at it), and
even when Dumbledore said you went looking for me when I went off the Ministry.
I really do appreciate everything. I’ve never said that before.
So maybe I should say it now. Something I should have told you a long time ago.
Thank you.
And as for long letters. I like them, so please, if you want, write long ones.
-Harry
Harry sat down his quill and looked at his letter, contemplating what he had
just written. It was so personal. It was not at all how he had ever expected to
talk to Severus Snape. He was the mean, gloomy Potion’s Professor who had hated
him for years, and he was writing to him like he would his friends.
The man had just told him about his past; about becoming a Death Eater. Not in
detail, but the fact that he had said anything about it surprised Harry a great
deal. The fact that Severus had been so open made him want to do the same
thing. Harry found himself being more honest with Severus than he was with
anyone, even Ron and Hermoine. And he wanted to be that way. He wanted to tell
Severus everything down to his last thought; but why? What in the world had
possessed him to want to spill his guts to the teacher?
Something was strange. It was just a little off, and Harry knew it. He didn’t
quite understand it, but he knew he liked it, even if it was somewhat
intimidating.
But life is intimidating. That doesn’t mean you stop living.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Severus sat down Harry’s letter softly and took a swig of fire whiskey. Putting
a hand under his chin, he sat pensively for a moment. Harry had stepped into
dangerous, personal territory in this letter. However, Severus had asked for
it. By mentioning his choice to become a Death Eater, he had opened up the
possibility of some very deep subjects. Obviously, Harry was willing to talk
about it, but was he, Severus, ready?
Severus sighed. Why had he allowed access to such dark information? He wanted
to talk to Harry about it. He enjoyed having someone to listen to him and to
listen to; but it wasn’t such a good idea. There were some things that Harry
didn’t know. Was it smart to tell him those things? The boy already had enough
on his plate as it was. It wasn’t fair to add to the load on his shoulders.
Then again, Harry had given approval to the discussion by giving his own
truths. Had he really been treated like that by his family? That was terrible.
Severus scowled. Did the Headmaster know about this? Probably not, or his
Golden Boy would have been out of that household faster than you could say
“boresnog”.
So the Dark Lord had offered for Harry to join him? That didn’t surprise him.
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Befriend the child and then
you don’t have to fight him. Harry is no longer a child, and, knowing this, the
Dark Lord can no longer try to take such a path. He has made Harry suffer for
years now. Yet somehow, Harry has always managed to find a way out of every
situation. It’s like he is destined to live forever, but maybe he is.
Severus picked up his quill and began to write on a fresh sheet of parchment.
Living with muggles? That’s torture in its own, I’m sure. Have you ever told
the Headmaster about the cupboard? That’s not something you keep secret, Harry.
I won’t tell him if you don’t want me to, but I’m not comfortable with it. I’ve
had similar things happen to me, however, so I do understand why you would want
to keep it secret, especially with your status.
No need to apologize for what your father did to me. You weren’t even alive
when it happened. I know I’m not fair to treat you badly for what he did to me.
It’s just difficult, if you can understand that.
I did truly believe that I could be important if I joined the Dark Lord. I
thought I would be accepted because I was exceptionally gifted in the dark
arts, as you know, and I would be of great use to them. I’m actually one of his
valued Death Eaters. I was accepted, just not in the way that I wanted.
I’m glad you did not accept his offer. It would have been torture for you. It
would have been a more horrible Hell than you could ever imagine.
I won’t ask how you know about some of those things, but you don’t need to
thank me. I will continue to protect you until my dying day. You mean
everything to Albus, and therefore I will protect you. He saved me when I was
lower than I could possibly get. I owe him my soul.
That’s not the only reason. I don’t think that you deserve to die. It’s not
fair that all of this was handed to you when you were just a baby. I don’t
understand how you handle it all, honestly.
Severus dropped the quill as a sudden pain ripped through his left arm.
Gritting his teeth, he groaned. “Great,” he hissed. Standing up he looked at
the letter and paused. He quickly grabbed his quill and finished it.
Calling for a house elf, he gave it the letter and set off for the end of the
anti apparition wards.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Harry had been confused when a house elf had popped up with his letter from
Severus. They had always exchanged them by use of class assignments and such,
but they had never sent them to boldly. After a great deal of questioning from
his dormmates, Harry pulled his bed curtains closed and understood the strange
letter as soon as he read the last few lines.
I can’t write any more. I’ve just been summoned by the Dark Lord. I’m sure you
know what this means. I must leave now, so I’ll send you the letter with a
house elf. Please tell no one.
-Severus
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The next day, Severus was nowhere to be found. Potions class was cancelled and
the students began to whisper. Harry felt strangely worried and found himself
glancing up at the staff table quite a few times.
Harry was out of his mind, though he didn’t show it, by the third day that
Severus was gone. Had he been killed? Was he discovered? Where was he?
Harry was absolutely mortified by his worry, but he had to do something.
Ignoring the questions from Ron and Hermoine, he went to see Dumbledore.
“Come in Harry,” Dumbledore said genially, “What can I do for you my boy?”
“I was wondering sir,” Harry started, shifting his feet uncomfortably, “If you
know where Professor Snape is. He’s been gone for three days now. Potions class
has been cancelled and everything.”
Dumbledore smiled. “I’ve never known you to like Potions Harry.”
Harry began to sweat. “I was just curious. I mean, was he discovered or
something?”
Dumbledore frowned. “No, he wasn’t.”
“Then what happened to him? Is he back yet?”
“Harry, I think you should let him rest for a while,” Dumbledore said gently,
“I know you’ve become close to him over the time of your letters-“
“I’m not close to him!” Harry interrupted. Then he stopped. “Wait… he’s back?”
Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled, but he remained silent.
Without another word. Harry took off towards the dungeons.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My my. What has happened to Severus? Well I’m not going to tell you. You’ll
just have to wait. But Harry seems quite worried doesn’t he? Strange. Tee hee
hee.
Gods, I’m weird.
***** 4 *****
Chapter_4
Harry paused to catch his breath only long enough to scan the surrounding
dungeons around Severus’s quarters to make sure no Slytherins were in the
immediate vicinity. Then, without any further hesitation, he knocked loudly on
the professor’s door. “Se… Severus?” he asked, only loud enough to be heard
through the door.
When he received no reply, he knocked again and called to the man; louder this
time. “Severus! Come on, I know you’re in there! Let me in!” He was beginning
to worry. Was he unable to come to the door? Was he really hurt and maybe
passed out? Harry had no idea why he was so concerned, but he did not pause to
think about it. Instead he pulled his wand and aimed it at the door.
“Alohamora!” he muttered, surprised when the door actually clicked open. He
would have thought Snape to be a person who would have much stronger locks on
his doors.
Hesitantly, Harry entered, walking to the door that led to Severus’s personal
chambers. Opening the door, he paused at seeing the Professor slumped in an
armchair looking haggard and worn.
Severus turned his head at Harry’s entrance, raising an inquisitive brow in
annoyance at the disturbance. However, a strange emotion, almost like
gratitude, flickered swiftly across his features.
“What are you doing in my rooms, Harry?’ Severus asked, turning back to his
fire.
Taking this as an ok, Harry shut the door behind him and sat down in an
armchair. “I dunno. I wanted to make sure you weren’t dead.”
“And I suppose breaking into my rooms is the best way to find out?” Severus
inquired.
“Oh, so sorry I was worried abo-“ Harry cut himself short and looked away.
Severus raised his eyebrows and sighed.
“What happened, Severus?” Harry asked, looking over at the older man. “Why are
you so worn out?”
Noticing genuine worry in the teen’s voice, Severus massaged his knuckles and
spoke. “It was a ceremony,” he said, “One of the Dark Lord’s ways to ensure
that his followers are… obedient.”
”Well the Potions substitute is terrible,” Harry said, as if they had been
talking about Potions class all along. Severus turned to look at him, confused.
“He’s a right git, you know,” Harry said, turning to Severus and grinning.
“I’m sure he’s not quite as terrible as me, is he?” Severus replied, smirking.
“No sir. The students haven’t been nearly as terrified as they should be.”
“Is that so?”
They stared into the fire for a long moment. Harry broke the silence.
“I’m getting tired of the letters,” he said.
Severus felt a lump rise in his throat. “You want to stop writing?”
“I…” Harry paused, contemplating his words carefully, “I would like to talk to
you in person.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea Harry,” Severus replied cautiously. He
wanted to talk in person just as much as Harry did, but for some reason his
conscience was screaming at him.
“Oh, come on, Severus,” Harry insisted, looking over at his Professor with
puppy dog eyes. “What in the world is so dangerous about it?”
Severus knew full well what was so dangerous about it, but he wasn’t about to
say it. “Nothing… I suppose.”
“Then it’s settled,” Harry said, looking pleased, “How about I come in after
supper?”
“That seems suitable.”
“Great! I’ll write one more letter to you in class tomorrow,” Harry replied,
standing up, “I have to go now, but I’ll see you tomorrow, right? You’ll be
teaching?”
“Yes, I’ll be teaching,” Severus answered, “Get going. You don’t need your
friends sending a search party for you.”
Harry grinned. “I suppose not. I kind of just ran out on them, so I should get
back. See you later, Severus!” He waved and left, leaving Severus to
contemplate the new arrangement between the two.
“This can’t be good…” Severus groaned, rubbing his temples. “Why the hell did I
agree anyway? He’s really getting under my skin somehow.”
………………………………………………………………………………………………
Harry couldn’t shove the smile off his face as he entered the Gryffindor common
room.
“Bloody hell, mate!” Ron exclaimed jumping up from the couch at the entrance of
his best friend. “What was that all about at lunch? You worried us!”
Hermoine nodded emphatically beside the redhead.
“Sorry guys, I really needed to ask Dumbledore a question,” Harry answered, his
expression changed to embarrassment.
Hermoine took on a look of concern. “What it your scar or something about
Voldemort?”
Harry shook his head, “No! It wasn’t that big of a deal, really. You don’t need
to worry.”
“He doesn’t wasn’t to talk about it ‘Mione,” Ron said after a moment. “Want to
play chess, Harry?” He jerked his thumb back at the table where he had been
setting up Wizard’s Chess just moments before Harry’s arrival.
Harry smiled. “Yeah, sure. I’m just going to go do something really quick, ok?”
Ron nodded, his eyes still wary of Harry’s strange behavior, and sat back at
the table to finish putting up the pieces.
Harry found the dorm room to be completely empty. For this, he was grateful. It
would give him a moment to write Severus a letter in peace. He couldn’t believe
Severus had agreed to let him come to his quarters after supper. What would
they do? Would they be able to talk as freely when in person? Harry was
nervous, but excited as well. This, however, brought thought to a new question.
Why was he so excited? Why, earlier, had he been so worried about Severus when
he had not returned? They had become friends at least; in their own, subtle
way. Why then did Harry feel so anxious? He felt comfortable talking to the man
in writing, but when it came to face-to-face conversations, Harry did not know
if he would fare so well.
He decided it was something he would worry about when the time came. Pulling
out a piece of parchment and his quill, he began to scratch yet another letter
to a certain Potions Professor. As soon as he finished, he set the paper inside
his book bag and set off to play chess with Ron.
………………………………..
They sat in the great hall that same night, chatting happily and swooning over
the various dishes that had appeared on the tables for supper.
“So then Fred threw a bludger at me!” Ron fumed, “Knocked me right in the head,
it did! I fell right of the broom.”
“Doesn’t surprise me, Weasley,” Malfoy snickered from the table behind them.
“Oh, bugger off Malfoy,” Harry growled, whirling around to face his rival, “You
aren’t part of this conversation.”
“Oh Master Potter has commanded me,” Malfoy mocked, waving his hands daintily
in the air as Crabbe and Goyle guffawed unintelligently.
Harry turned back around, but something caught his eye half way. It was
Severus. He was up at the staff table with a fork in his hand, looking over at
Harry. He had obviously been observing the exchange. Now, however, his
concentration was fully on Harry. Their eyes were locked together and neither
seemed willing to move from the strange sort of staring contest. Harry didn’t
know why, but Severus’s pensive gaze made his heart race. It seemed as if their
thoughts had entwined for the few seconds they froze there. Ron, however,
managed to cut off the connection.
”Malfoy’s a right ass!” the gangly teen hissed through his clenched teeth. “I
can’t believe him. He always has so much nerve!”
Hermoine sighed and Harry regrettably broke the visual conversation he had
going with the raven-haired professor. “He’s been like that his whole life,
Ron,” Harry comforted, “We all know he’s an arse. Even he does.”
Ron pouted his lower lip and shoved another mouthful of mashed potatoes into
his mouth, chewing enthusiastically.
“Ron!” Hermoine gasped, “Don’t be so disgusting.”
“Don be sush a pwude Haminny,” Ron retorted through his mouthful.
Hermoine rolled her eyes in exasperation and turned back to her food, picking
at it softly.
Harry smiled and turned back to Severus. He was gone. Harry couldn’t help but
feel a little disappointed. The man wasn’t required to just sit there all
night, though. Shrugging it off, Harry finished his meal and went on with the
night, barely able to complete his homework as thoughts of what were to come
the next day ran rampant through his mind.
…………………………………………………..
The room was silent save for the sounds of scratching quills and shuffling
parchment. Severus had given them an essay about what they had covered in class
while he was “away”. It was an odd assignment, for him at least, but no one
objected to the easy task.
“Snape’s acting a little odd, isn’t he?” Ron whispered to Harry.
Harry looked over to him, surprised. “You really think so?” He didn’t say much
more. He was concentrating on slowing the raging heartbeat that had started
when he had heard Severus’s name. Weird. Maybe it was because he was so used to
talking to him, but not about him.
“Yeah, I mean he hasn’t jabbed nearly as many insults at us and he gave us an
essay that didn’t have some terrible theme that we knew nothing about,” Ron
explained, getting excited as he thought up a scandal.
“I’m sure it’s nothing Ron,” Harry replied, “Everyone has their off days.”
“Harry’s right Ron,” Hermoine interjected, “You don’t have to question every
move he makes just because you don’t like him.”
“Don’t like him?” Ron replied, “He loathes us! Of course I don’t like him.”
“That’s not the point Ron,” Hermoine was getting agitated, “Write your paper or
we’ll all get in trouble. I don’t want to get a detention today.”
Ron exhaled, defeated. “Fine then…” he muttered, picking up his quill and
contemplating what to write.
Harry had finished his essay over fifteen minutes ago, he had be re-reading his
letter to Severus when Ron interrupted him. Now that Ron was once again
distracted, Harry trned back to his paper and started over.
Severus,
I suppose this will be the last letter I write you. That’s not a bad thing,
though, since we’ll be talking in person. I was glad that you said yes to meet
after suppers. I’m kind of tired of writing. It would be nicer to actually
talk, don’t you think?
I know we’re probably not friends or anything, at least not what most people
would classify as friends, but I think my plan is turning out well.
I don’t know why, but I did like writing these letters. It was relaxing in it’s
own way. It was nice to talk to someone who had experiences like I had. We may
not be exactly the same, but I definitely think we’re similar. Don’t you?
This turned out a lot better than I expected, to be honest. I thought you would
either completely refuse or it would end really fast, but somehow we’ve kept
going. It’s strange. I never pictured myself talking to you; telling you the
things that I did. Sorry if I’m getting too sentimental. I’ll stop. I’m just
trying to say that I really think this was worth it.
I hope you think the same thing. After all, it hasn’t worked if we both don’t
agree.
Anyway, I suppose I should go. I just figured you should know what I thought.
See you after supper.
-Harry
Harry nodded and folded the paper once more. It would do. He hoped he hadn’t
sounded childish in it, but he couldn’t help feeling a little embarrassed at
some of the cheesy things he had said. Taking a clip, he attached the essay and
letter together just as the Professor stood to speak.
“Time is up,” his velvety voice flowed over the room, causing an immediate
reaction of quills falling to tables. “Bring you essays up to me,” He glanced
at Harry. It was so subtle that Harry barely caught it, but he did catch it.
“And you may go.”
There was a scraping of chairs and the students flung their papers onto the
front desk. Harry, however, laid his lightly down, noticing how Severus’s eyes
had followed his hand as he did so. Not willing to risk a smile to the Potions
Master in front of his classmates, Harry caught up with Ron and Hermoine, and
they walked hurriedly down the hall to Transfiguration, laughing, as all
teenagers seem to start doing automatically when a class ends.
…………………………………………
It was supper once more, but Harry’s palms were so sweaty that he continuously
dropped his fork.
“Harry, are you alright?” Hermoine inquired, “You’re acting strangely again.”
Harry sighed. “Sorry. I’m just thinking about how I’m taking extra potions
again.” His ear perked to hear their response, eager to make sure he had
sounded believable.
“Technically you weren’t taking extra potions last time,” Hermoine stated.
Harry chuckled. “That’s true!”
“Tough luck with it now, though, mate,” Ron pat him on the back. “Have fun
spending all that time with Snape.”
‘Oh, I will’, Harry thought. He jumped. Where had that come from! Harry
grimaced, embarrassed by his own thoughts. “Yeah…” he muttered.
They ate silently for the rest of supper, Harry deep into his own nervous
state. What was going to happen? Would Severus just get uncomfortable and tell
him to leave? Harry looked over at the man in question. He was finishing his
last sip of pumpkin juice just as Harry turned. Severus swallowed, paused, and
glanced over at Harry before standing to take his leave out of the Great Hall.
“You know,” Harry said suddenly, “I think I better get going to the dungeons.
Snape’ll kill me if I’m late.”
“Yeah,” Ron agreed, “You don’t need to get a detention with him on top of two
classes.”
Hermoine nodded. “Good luck Harry. Try to keep your cool.”
“See you later!” Harry waved and left the hall, wringing his hands as soon as
he was out of their sight. He slowed his pace and crept toward the dungeons,
almost as if he were not invited to his destination. He almost wasn’t, really.
He had practically invited himself!
He was in the dungeon corridors now. Maybe he should turn back. Maybe Severus
didn’t want him there. He might be intruding. Severus could have just said yes
out of obligation to their deal. No… Severus wouldn’t do anything out of
obligation, except his teaching career.
Harry had made himself so nervous that by the time he reached Severus’s
quarters he couldn’t even grasp the doorknob. Finally, he got a firm grip on it
and entered to find a very confused looking Professor standing across the
classroom holding a book.
“What the bloody hell were you doing over there, making all that racket?” Snape
asked, sitting the book neatly on a shelf. “Trying to rip off my doorknob?”
Harry shook his head sheepishly. “Sorry…”
Severus turned away with a slight shrug and began to stack more books onto the
shelves. There were so many of them! They must have been books from all his
separate potions classes. Harry stood there without a purpose, gazing
distractedly around the room.
“Would you mind helping me shelve these books?” Severus asked suddenly, no
looking at Harry as he continued to stack seventh year potions.
Harry nodded, but when he realized Severus couldn’t see him he spoke. “Yeah,
sure.” He walked over to the bookshelves and picked a three books of potion
ingredient dictionaries and turned to Severus. “Where do you want these?” he
questioned, gesturing to the books in his hands.
Severus pointed to the left at a barren place on the third shelf. “There would
do nicely.”
Harry scooted over to the area. It was a cramped place at the middle and right
of the shelves, any escape blocked off by a table and precariously stacked
books that were a mere foot or two away from the shelves where they stacked
them. Harry found it difficult to move in the area without dropping books.
Soon enough, he and Severus had a steady rhythm; Harry staying to the left, and
Severus to the right. They hadn’t spoken for the half an hour they had been
shelving and excepting a few sideways glances at each other, they had made no
attempt to, perfectly content in their work.
Harry stood at the middle of the confines between table and shelf now, reaching
up to stick another fourth year potions book on the top shelf. He started when
he felt a tap on his shoulder.
“I need to get by,” Severus spoke, nodding towards the space to the left of
Harry.
Harry blushed, realizing he was in the man’s way. “Oh, ok,” he mumbled, and he
moved forward to let Severus pass behind him, not thinking of just getting out
of the small area to let him pass.
Severus moved to shift behind Harry, unconsciously laying a hand on the young
wizard’s hip as he did so. As Severus began to slip by, Harry felt the Potion
Master’s body press fully against his own in the tight confines of the space.
They both froze at the intimate position. Harry couldn’t help but shiver as a
chill went up his spine. Severus felt the shiver and his eyes widened, his
heart pounding a mile a minute and his mind not computing the current
situation. Severus leaned forward ever so slightly, breathing in the scent of
Harry’s hair slowly. Harry closed his eyes when Severus did this. Then, the
Professor remembered himself and slid past, letting his fingers drag lazily
across the small of Harry’s back as he did so.
This all took place in under five seconds.
But even though it happened so quickly, it left Harry breathing shallow,
erratic breaths and his forehead was sweating torrents.
What the hell was that!
……………………………………………..
Harry and Severus had finished their book stacking and had moved to Severus’s
private quarters to sit in front of the fire. Neither of them had spoken of the
moment when they had touched, but as they sat staring at the crackling flames,
they both realized that it had actually been the first time, in all the years
they had known each other, that they had touched for such an extended period of
time, even if it was just a few seconds.
Harry yawned suddenly, stretching his arms out sedately.
“Tired already, Potter?” Severus mused.
“No I just…” Harry yawned again in irony, “I don’t get much sleep lately.”
“Why is that?” Severus asked, sounding interested.
Harry frowned, unsure of what Severus would think if he told him of his
visions.
“The whole point of you being here is so we talk, Harry,” Severus spoke, his
voice gravely.
“I have visions,” Harry replied, “Of Voldemort.” Severus frowned. “Sorry, I’ll
call him Tom.”
“No, it’s fine,” Severus said, “Fear of a name is ridiculous.”
“Ok,” Harry nodded, remembering the time when Hermoine had said something quite
similar. “Anyway, I have visions of him; of him torturing people or speaking to
his followers. The dreams often give me pain.” Harry sighed.
Severus thought for a moment, is eyebrows suddenly raising the way they did
when he had an idea. “Would you like a dreamless sleep potion?” he suggested,
turning to look at the younger man.
Harry smiled. “That would be nice. I bet that might work. I never actually
thought of that before.”
“Of course you didn’t,” Severus replied, “You’ve never been all that
accomplished at potions.”
Harry made a pouty face at the wall and crossed his arms defiantly.
Severus stood and walked over to a cabinet lining the wall. He grabbed a vial
from it and hands it to Harry, their fingers brushing slightly, making them
both look away.
“Drink it right before you go to bed,” Severus said, returning to his seat on
the couch. “It should make it so you don’t have those dreams.”
”Thank you,” Harry muttered as he rose from his chair, “I hope it works. I
should get going. I’ve already been here for an hour and a half.” He paused,
thinking silently o himself. “I can come back tomorrow right?” he asked, not
turning around.
There was a moment of silence before he heard the reply. “Yes.”
“Goodnight, then,” Harry nodded to Severus who nodded in return.
With that, Harry left, closing the door of the classroom softly on his way out.
Severus groaned, leaning forward and rubbing his temples furiously. “What am I
getting myself into?” he grumbled angrily.
………………………………………………..
Harry sat on his four poster bed with the vial set firmly between his fingers.
He studied the slightly glowing liquid for a moment. It was a light blueish
purple. At leas tit wasn’t black or some other unappetizing color.
Harry was tired of his nightly terrors and so were his roommates. He woke of
every night screaming. Even if he put a silencing charm around his bed his
roommates could still see him thrashing around.
He pulled the sheets around his bed for privacy and crossed his fingers.
Tipping the vial to his lips he closed his eyes and gulped down the contents.
Bottoms up.
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Fjdsfkdsjfndskjfndsk. That’s all I have to say about that. There’s chapter four
for you all! Hope you liked it! I’m actually introducing sexual tension! OMG!
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!