Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/951056.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Eren_Jaeger/_Jean_Kirstein, background_Armin/Annie, mentions_of_past
      Eren/Levi, Mikasa/???, background_Reiner_and_Bertl
  Character:
      Armin_Arlert, Mikasa_Ackerman, Marco_Bott, Annie_Leonhart, Jean_Kirstein,
      Eren_Jaeger
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe, Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Humor
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-09-02 Completed: 2014-03-03 Chapters: 13/13 Words: 25783
****** The Best/Worst Decision ******
by RosieRaven
Summary
     Eren spent the drive home reminiscing about the hormone fueled shit
     show that had been his relationship with his high school boyfriend
     Jean Kirschstein. How the fuck did that even happen?
***** Prologue *****
Eren moved as quickly as he dared through the icy grocery store parking lot as
he balanced two pumpkin pies in one hand. Thanksgiving was supposed to be a
fall holiday wasn't it? Well not this year. He groaned at the sight of his car.
Even though he had only been in the grocery store for thirty minutes tops his
car was covered with snow. He carefully stowed the pies in the passenger seat
before fishing the scraper out of the back seat. He let the car warm up as he
dusted the snow off his windows.
He shot a glance at the guy parked diagonally across from him and his eyes
happened to linger. He was bent over the hood of his car brushing the snow off
his windshield with his coat sleeve. Eren figured that he probably shouldn't be
staring at stranger's asses. Especially when they finally turn around and they
aren't exactly a stranger.
Jean Kirschstein.
That awkward moment when you get caught staring at your high school ex-
boyfriend’s ass
Jean looked as surprised as Eren did. He waved his hand awkwardly, the front of
his coat was crusted with snow and his cheeks and nose were red with cold. Eren
hadn't seen him since the summer before their first year of college a little
over two years ago. “Hey.”
“Oh. Hi”
“It’s been a while.”
“Yeah"
Jean brushed the snow off the front of his coat, stuffed his hands in his
pockets, and rocked back on his heels. “So... how is school so far for you?”
“Good... you?”
“Good. Fun.”
Jean ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged. “Well - my mom will flip
her shit if I ruin the dinner schedule - but uh... it was good to see you.”
“You too man.” Eren said, knocking the snow off the scraper before tossing it
in the backseat.
“Hey Jaeger,” Eren turned and Jean seemed to think seriously for a moment.
“Hope you enjoyed the view, you perv,” he said with a smile and an raise of his
eyebrow.
Eren rolled his eyes and flipped him the bird. Jean laughed as he got in the
driver’s seat and waived as he drove away.
Eren got in his car and shook his head. He spent the drive home reminiscing
about the hormone fueled shit show that had been his relationship with Jean
Kirschstein.
How the fuck did that even happen?
***** How it started *****
Chapter Summary
     Four years and some months before the prologue, at the beginning of
     his Junior year, a party in Eren's basement starts a chain of events.
The bell rang and that special kind of relief you feel at the end of the day on
a Friday washed over him. Eren practically ran out of his eighth period class.
He threw all the books he didn't need in his locker and flew out the door -
only to have to wait for Mikasa, who had the car keys. Summer was still
lingering and the afternoon sun beat down on the pavement. It was only the
first week of school but Eren could already tell that Junior year was going to
be a special kind of hell - close to the end but no where near close enough.
After what felt like half an hour but in reality had only been five minutes,
Mikasa finally came out the front doors. “What took you so long? I’m sweaty as
fuck,” He griped as they walked through the parking lot together.
“Oh you know Eren - just talking to our friends.” Mikasa said in her usual
deadpan.
“Right.”
“Yeah, some people are coming over tonight.”
“Oh okay, sounds cool.”
“Yeah -Connie, Sasha, Reiner, Bert, Annie, Marco -”
“Marco?”
“Yeah, he’s in my calculus class. He’s cool Eren.”
“Yeah but...”
Marco was a really nice guy but anywhere you invited Marco you also invited
Jean Kirschstein... whether you actually wanted to or not. They had been
attached at the hip since middle school.
Jean and Eren’s relationship had mostly consisted of visits to the nurse's and
principal's offices - also a lot of bruises, bloody lips, and even a broken
nose once. True, they hadn't gotten into a physical fight since Freshman year
at homecoming but that was mostly because they worked very hard at avoiding
each other. We have gym class together this semester though - that’s going to
be a disaster.
“Marco’s fine -” Eren relented, “his boyfriend is just really annoying.”
“I don't think they’re dating,” Mikasa mused as she slid into the driver’s seat
of the car they shared. “Just try not to start a fist fight or anything - Annie
Leonhardt said she’d come and Armin is pretty stoked about it.”
“Fine,” Eren grumbled as the threw his bag in the backseat. “I just want to
drink and try not to think about how long it is until next summer.”
***
Eren Jaeger’s basement had been something of a hang out place ever since they
were in middle school. The basement was partially finished but not really nice
enough where their parents wanted to hang out down there. There was a TV - but
it didn’t get any reception so it was only good for movies or video games.
Eren’s mother didn't mind all the ‘kids’ hanging out down there as long as
everyone wasn't too loud and everyone had permission from their parents to be
there. There was even a door to the outside at the top of the basement steps so
people didn't have to move through the house to come and go.
Armin got there first as usual, and not long after the rest of the usual people
trickled in: Connie, Sasha, and then Reiner and Bert, who had brought Annie
with. Last came Marco, with Jean in tow of course. Jean glanced around as he
came down the steps.
“It’s been a while since I've been in this basement. Not since like... eighth
grade I think. That’s right - we were playing truth or dare and I dared Mikasa
to take off her bra and you punched me in the nose Jaeger.”
“That sounds about right.” Eren grumbled as he dumped cheap whiskey and coke
into a cup. Eren’s dad kept all his booze in the basement fridge and Eren
wasn't sure if he honestly didn't notice them drinking it or if he just didn't
give a damn.
“So you guys want to watch a movie? Play a game?” Armin asked.
“Oh a game!” Sasha blurted, “What should we play?”
“I don’t know... let’s play... Never Have I Ever?” Marco suggested.
“Why not.” Connie said with a shrug.
“Fuck, I always loose this game,” Jean sighed as everyone sat in a circle.
“Let’s make this quick and only do one hand okay.”
“I’ll start I guess.” Marco said as everyone held up a hand with all five
fingers up, “Never have I ever donated blood. Needles make me... faint.” A lot
of people put down their first finger, including Eren.
Everyone turned to the next person in the circle, Jean. “Never have I ever...
masturbated to anyone in this room,” he said with a leer as he put one of his
own fingers down.
“Ugh Jean what the fuck!” Eren sputtered.
“Can you even do that? Say something you've done?” Armin questioned.
”Um yeah you can- and anyone who didn't put a finger down is a fucking liar!”
Jean argued. Eren lowered another one of his fingers and hoped no one was
looking at him.
Connie was up next. “Okay uh... never have I ever done anything sexual at
school.”
“What counts as sexual? Like kissing?” Bert said uneasily.
“Nah man - more than kissing. Like any kind of in the pants action.”
A flurry of fingers went down. Eren took a sip of his drink.
Connie nudged Sasha with his elbow. “ Oh right, my turn.” she said, “Um never
have I ever... had a boyfriend.”
There was a collective sigh as everyone but Sasha, Connie, Armin and Eren put
their fingers down, “Sash - this is supposed to be a happy game.” Connie
protested.
“I know! I just couldn't think of anything!”
Eren noticed Armin was giving him a look. “You gonna put your finger down
Eren?” Armin questioned.
“Uh no.” Eren said emphatically wrinkling his nose. Armin gave him his best are
you fucking kidding me glare. “What? He wasn’t my boyfriend,” Eren protested;
he could feel his face turning red.
“Fine then,” Armin said with a deceptively friendly smile and Eren realized
with dread that it was his best friend’s turn, “never have I ever fucked
acollege graduate” Eren sighed and rolled his eyes as he put his third finger
down. Mikasa laughed as murmurs of disbelief went around the circle.
“Story,” Jean suddenly demanded.
“What?”
“It’s a rule” Jean insisted, gesturing with the one lone finger on his left
hand that he hadn't been forced to put down yet. “you can do it once for each
person. You can ask the story behind the finger and they have to tell.”
“That’s not how we play- that’s not a rule!” Eren blustered.
“I like this rule,” Annie said.
“Me too,” Armin added.
“Everyone in favor of the rule and this being Eren’s story?” Jean asked the
group - throwing his own hand up into the air
Every hand in the room went up.
“Fine.” Eren took a swig of his drink. “It was over the summer. He worked in
the Clinic at my Dad’s hospital. He had been going to school here. We... fooled
around. I didn't know at first how old he was but whatever... I don’t know
that’s pretty much it”
“What happened? Are you still...” Sasha asked.
“No. He just... went back to Montreal for med school. I mean we didn't like...
go on dates or talk about our feelings it was just... physical stuff. So he
wasn’t my boyfriend” he said pointedly.
“Wait wait,” Jean laughed, “your telling us you had a Canadian fuck buddy? A
French Canadian fuckbudy?”
“Did he talk dirty in French?” Sasha blurted and Eren looked mortified.
“Ohmygod he did!”
Eren groaned and smacked his forehead down into his open palm. “Can we please
stop talking about it now?”
“Yeah yeah,” Armin said smugly. “Your turn Eren.”
He glared at Armin, “Never have I ever... been blond,” he said petulantly.
“Ooooo,” the entire room chorused. But Mikasa was quick with her turn. “Never
have I ever sucked a dick.”
“Aaaaaand I’m out,” Jean announced as he put down his last finger and threw
back the rest of his drink. Eren was forced to put down finger number four.
“Oi Mikasa,” Reiner said pleadingly, “you do realize that half the people in
this basement are sexually active gay guys right?”
After that the game degenerated into trying to get specific people out and Eren
was gone the very next turn. After that everyone just chatted - during which
Eren finished his drink and made another one. Then Reiner and Bert had to go
because Bert had a curfew at 11 PM. It was an open secret that Bert didn't
actually have a curfew - they just felt like they needed an excuse to leave
early and go fool around in Reiner’s truck.
“Do you need us to take you home Annie?”
“Nah, I’ll get a ride home with someone else.”
At that point enough alcohol had been ingested that when Annie suggested they
play spin the bottle everyone enthusiastically agreed. “But no middle school
level pecking crap - it has to be at least five seconds long and with tongue.”
Annie spun first and got a very awkward kiss from a very nervous Connie. After
that Marco spun and got Sasha; they finally had to call it quits because every
time everyone started counting they would both burst into giggles.
Jean reached for the bottle next- crossing his fingers. “Mikasa Mikasa Mikasa,”
He chanted softly.
“Jean, I swear to God - you don’t even like women!” Eren barked - though Mikasa
just looked amused.
“Dude I’m gay not blind.” Jean said with a grin as he spun the bottle. It
twisted quickly around and around and started to slow down - going past Marco
and Annie to Mikasa...
“Yes! Wait no go back!”
And stopping on Eren.
“Oh my God Why,” Eren whined to the ceiling as a giggle went around the room.
Jean sighed dramatically. Too lazy and drunk to get up he crawled across the
circle and Armin moved out of the way so he could sit next to Eren.
“Uhg fine do it,” Eren sighed as he fisted his hands in his lap and closed his
eyes.
He felt Jean’s nose brush his cheek first and one of his hands cup the back of
his head. Eren drew a sharp breath in through his nose as the firm pressure on
Jean’s lips settled on his own.
“Tongue or it doesn't count!” Marco chided.
Eren sighed and let his lips part. I am going to kill that freckled bastard. An
unexpected jolt went through him as the tip of Jean’s tongue slid into his
mouth.
Their friends were chanting the number of seconds in the background but Eren
was having a hard time concentrating. The tip of Jean’s tongue was sliding
lightly across his own before retreating back. Eren tilted his head further to
the side, his tongue following Jean’s back into his mouth. Jean tasted like
vodka with a hint of Orange juice.
“Five!” Everyone chanted and Eren quickly broke the kiss.
Eren wiped his mouth with the palm of his hand. Connie was already reaching for
the abandoned bottle. Jean got to his feet - asking if anyone else needed a new
drink. The game ended up winding down after Armin got Annie and the kiss went
quite a bit past the required five seconds until they broke it off.
As tactfully as he could Eren suggested they put in a movie. Mikasa went to the
closet and passed out pillows and blankets and making sure everyone knew where
the bathroom was. Eren threw a random horror movie into the DVD player and
turned off the lights. It was less than halfway over when he slid into sleep.
Eren groaned as he woke up to the sound of the door closing - it was still
early. Why did his drunk self think it was a good idea to just pass out on the
floor. Time to stumble up to my own bed and get some real sleep.
Mikasa - who had been next to him, was already up as usual. Probably quietly
showing people out. Annie, Armin, Connie, and Sasha were already gone and Marco
was pulling on his shoes. Jean came strolling out of the bathroom. His hair was
tousled and his tee shirt was wrinkled. Neither of them seemed to notice that
Eren was awake.
“Ready?” Marco whispered.
Jean grumbled, “Yeah. Fuck I need to go sleep for the rest of the weekend.”
“Well the night wasn’t a total waste - you got to first base, et il aime les
français” Marco whispered with a laugh.
He yelped as Jean punched his shoulder, “Will you shut up?” but that just made
Marco laugh harder and he clamped a hand over his mouth to stifle it.
Eren lost track of the conversation as they went up the stairs. When he sat up
his head swam. On second thought - his bed was really far away. The couch was
also good. Nice solid comfy couch.
***** Homecoming *****
Chapter Summary
     A few weeks after the party. Gym class and disturbing rumors.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
It was a humid October night a few weeks after the party when Armin came over
to pick Eren up for the varsity volley ball game. Eren wasn't really invested
in school sports, but Mikasa and Annie were both on the team so he and Armin
went to the games to cheer them on. They found seats next to Bert and Reiner
who had come to cheer for Annie and two other friends of theirs who were on the
team.
Annie was up by the net - the opposing team served the ball - Mikasa bumped it
into the air and then Annie leapt up and spiked the ball hard into the ground.
A girl on the opposing team squeaked as the ball bounced back up and smacked
her in the leg.
“Jesus Armin, your girlfriend is pretty scary,” Eren whispered as Annie in
Mikasa shared a loud high five that made him wince.
“Yeah,” Armin agreed with a dreamy smile. Armin was weird sometimes. “I - don’t
know if I really have permission to call her my girlfriend yet though.” Reiner
must have heard that because he tried to suppress a laugh and failed.
“Well you’re going to homecoming together right?” Eren asked.
Reiner cheered loudly as a tall freckled girl dove for the ball and managed to
save it.
“Yeah we are.” Armin changed the subject. “You really aren't going this year
Eren?”
Honestly Eren didn't like dances - mostly because he hated dancing. It was
always too loud and hot and he always ended up leaving after an hour. “Nah,
Mikasa told me we're having the after party at our house so I’ll see all you
guys anyway.”
“I guess you're right.”
***
The next day school seemed to drag on forever- and unfortunately it was time
for fifth period Gym class. Eren trudged down to the locker room to get
changed. Eren was in pretty good shape - he liked going running when the
weather was nice; but gym class was a whole other story, full of competitive
jerks who took everything way too seriously. He was shaken from his thoughts by
a locker slamming nearby. Speaking of jerks. Jean walked past with the stupid
smug smile on his face that he always had. He purposefully clipped Eren’s
shoulder with his own as he went by. What’s his problem? With a sigh, Eren
turned and followed the other guys out of the locker room and into the gym.
The coach blew the whistle. “I thought we'd do something fun today and play
some dodgeball.”
“Ah Shit,” Eren groaned as most of the other guys whooped with excitement. Eren
wasn't bad at dodge ball but if there ever was a game that brought out the
absolute worst in people, this was it. Coach randomly waved at people to move
to different sides of the court.
Of course Jean was was on the other team, lined up across from him on the other
side of the court. He had the same sadistic grin on his face that every other
asshole in the world who enjoyed dodge ball had. The whistle blew and they both
charged for the same ball on the center line. Jean got to the ball first and
Eren back peddled frantically to get away. Jean spun the ball between his
fingertips and then hurled the ball at Eren’s legs. Eren jumped back and the
ball smacked into the floor and bounced up. He caught it and hurled it back. He
felt a satisfied grin spread over his face as Jean failed to catch the ball and
it thumped into his chest. Eren’s victory was short lived however. He failed to
see which fuckwad on the other team had thrown it, but a ball came whizzing
through the air and thunked him on the side of his face. Ow - he thought
vaguely as he landed on the wooden floor of the Gym. He heard the whistle blow.
“I’m fine,” he muttered. He felt a hand on his upper arm as someone helped him
back to his feet. He pressed a hand over the throbbing side of his face.
“Kirschstein! Get him off the court!”
Dizzy and befuddled, Eren let Jean lead him back to the locker room. Jean sat
him down on a bench. “Shit Jaeger, I don’t’ think I've ever seen anyone take a
ball to the face quite like that before”
“Well you would be the expert. On balls,” Eren said groggily.
Instead of getting angry Jean actually had the nerve to snort with suppressed
laughter. “Are you making gay jokes Jaeger?”
“Shut up.” He cradled his head with both hands - his eye was throbbing.
Jean pulled the first aid kit down from where it stood on top of some lockers.
“Your face is not going to be pretty for those homecoming pictures.”
“I’m not going to Homecoming.” He muttered irritably.
“Oh, too mature for high school fun huh?” Jean teased as he dug through the
kit. Eren felt his ears grow hot.I really need to get Armin back for blabbing
about Levi. “Well I'd call you a loser but I'm not going either.” Jean shrugged
as he pulled an ice pack from the kit and twisted it. Jean pulled some paper
towels from the dispenser to wrap around the ice pack. “So are you like, still
in the closet or...?”
“No,” Eren said, “I mean I'm not going to scream it from the rooftops while I
waive a rainbow flag or anything but it’s not exactly a secret either,
especially now that Sasha and Connie know -Ow fuck watch it!” he squawked as
Jean pressed the ice pack against his eye.
Jean‘s other hand moved to his chin, “Hold still idiot." The cold did feel
good. Jean was standing very close to him - his gym shirt smelled sweaty. Ugh -
When is the last time he took that home and washed it? Jean quirked one of his
eyebrows, “Oi, you just going to let me hold this all day Jaeger?” Eren quickly
moved his hand up to hold the pack in place and tried not to flinch when their
fingers touched. Jean was looking at him weird.
“What?”
“Nothing,” Jean fidgeted, wiping his hands on his shorts, “I’m ... gonna go
back out there.” He turned and quickly left the locker room.
Confused, Eren gingerly pressed the ice pack against his face. Well that was
weird.
***
“Oh my God Eren, what happened to your face?” Mikasa exclaimed as Eren sat down
at their usual lunch table. Eren told the story of what had happened during gym
class. Some point after that the topic moved on to homecoming and why Eren
wasn't going. Why won't she and Armin just leave it alone?
“So you've got nobody you want to go with?” Mikasa questioned.
“No,” Eren said definitively.
“So there’s nobody you like.”
“Not really. I mean there is a limit to the amount of guys at this school who
are hot, single, and... like dick.” Eren opened his bag of chips and paused.
“Why do you ask?”
“Oh no reason, I've just been talking to Marco during Calc and-”
“Wait,” Eren said looking confused, “Marco?” Eren looked thoughtful for a
moment, “I don't know I guess he’s cute but I don't-”
Mikasa rolled her eyes, “No, Marco doesn’t want in you pants dumbass.”
“Oh okay then.”
“Jean thinks your hot though,” she said nonchalantly.
Bits of potato chip went everywhere as Eren sputtered. “Jean?” Eren immediately
lowered his voice and hissed. “What no! No he doesn’t.” Mikasa continued to eat
placidly. Eren’s eyes narrowed. “Did Marco tell you this? What did he say
exactly?”
Mikasa just shrugged and took a bite of her sandwich. “Well I guess Marco
didn't say that Jean thinks your hot exactly. He just said that Jean had fun at
the party. Especially during spin the bottle.”
Eren felt a twinge of doubt. “Well that doesn't mean anything.”
“Eren, you’re the only person he made out with.”
“It was five seconds! That is not making out!”
“You seemed to like it.”
“Yeah well I was drunk, and just because he’s a good kisser doesn’t mean there
has to be any kind of liking involved,” he said decisively as he went back to
his bag of chips.
“Good kisser?" Mikasa said with interest. Why did she have to latch on to that?
“Like on a scale of one to ten how good are we talking?”
“I don't know... like seven?” Eren conceded as he nervously rubbed the back of
his neck.
“Seven huh?” Mikasa raised her eyebrows. “Seven is good.”
“Yeah well like I said- it doesn’t mean anything.”
“Uh-huh”
Mikasa just shrugged and left Eren to stew in his own thoughts as she finished
her lunch in silence.
***
Eren stood by his locker between lunch and sixth period - fumbling through his
locker for the right books. Mikasa didn't know what she was talking about - it
was a dumb joke. Jean is probably laughing his ass off right now. Jean was not
attractive - with his big nose and his dumb haircut and - his...
“Hey.”
Speak of the devil - Jean was standing right next to him. Leaning up against
the lockers. Eren’s emotions went from startled, to flustered, to irritated, to
pissed in a matter of seconds.“What do you want?” He barked.
Jean seemed taken aback. “Uhh, hows your face?”
Eren was confused when Jean did not rise to the bait - and wasn't sure how to
respond. “Uh it’s okay... hurts.”
”Oh - sorry. Look about homecoming this weekend,”
Eren made a strangled noise in his throat and his eyes went wide. Luckily Jean
was very busy not looking at his face.
“There are a couple of us who are going to a movie instead of the dance and uh-
do you want to come?”
“Oh," Eren said with what he hoped wasn't obviously relief, “Uh okay - Mikasa
has the car though.”
“Okay - I'll pick you up then?” Jean said with a shrug.
“Okay.” Eren said faintly.
“Okay..." Jean rubbed the back on his neck, “later then.”
Eren grunted in reply pretending to look for something very intently in the
bottom of his backpack. And he most definitely didn't notice the way the black
denim pants Jean wore were just the perfect amount of tight as he walked away.
When Jean was safely out of sight Eren thumped his head into his locker a few
times punctuating each soft bang with a whisper of “Stupid!”
Mikasa and Armin were going to have a field day.
Chapter End Notes
     Sorry for all the awkward boys - there will be action soon I swear
***** Not A Date *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren gets confused, which naturally leads to anger, which leads to
     fist fights.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
That Saturday after homecoming Armin, Annie, and Mikasa were all hanging out in
the basement. Everyone else had gone home but the three of them, who knew that
Eren was out with Jean, waited up. It was almost midnight.
“When is this movie supposed to be over?” Annie questioned, checking the time
on her phone.
“I didn't ask,” Armin said sheepishly.
They both looked at Mikasa but she just shrugged. “He was still here when I
left." Just then, they heard the back door open.
“He’s home,” Armin whispered excitedly and everyone stared at the staircase
with bated breath. They had all been eagerly awaiting Eren’s return to find out
what happened. But instead of coming down to the basement the back door just
slammed shut and feet stomped up the stairs into the house.
“Uh oh,” Armin whispered.
“I’ll.. be right back,” Mikasa said quietly as she got up and followed Eren
upstairs. By the time she got to Eren’s room his door was shut. She tapped her
knuckles gently on the door, “Eren?”
“I’m getting ready for bed,” came the irritated reply
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah - just tired,” though Eren didn't sound tired - just pissed. Mikasa
sighed and shook her head as she retreated back to the basement to break the
news that apparently things had not gone well.
***
On Monday morning at school Eren was still stewing. It was the middle of
chemistry. He felt bad for making Bert, who was his lab partner, do most of the
work but he seriously couldn't concentrate. He had spent most of Sunday in his
room, ignoring calls from Armin and glaring at Mikasa when she tried to poke
her head in. He just really couldn't talk to them about this yet.
He scratched at his notebook with his pen. “Bert, can I ask you something?”
“Yeah?”
“When you and Reiner started going out,” he asked slowly, “how did you know it
was like... a date?”
Bert’s eyebrows knit together and he rubbed the back of his neck, “Umm I don’t
know if we're the best example Eren.”
“Like how do you know if it’s a date, or just two dude’s hanging out?” Eren
insisted.
Bert blushed. “Well there is the whole um - kissing part-”
Eren shook his head and sighed with exasperation, “Well I don’t mean obvious
stuff like that. Does something have to happen for it to be a date? Like
touching or kissing or something?”
“Well if it’s a good date, then yes,” Bert joked, “I don’t know. Usually if
it’s a date there’s flirting or somebody makes a move...” he trailed off
watching Eren’s reaction. “ So they didn't like... make a move? Any kind of
move at all?”
“No,” Eren said. The ride to the movie hadn't been bad - they had just talked
about stuff. When they got to the movie nothing special happened but other
people were there so that wasn't surprising. Eren had been tense the entire
ride back to his house, waiting for Jean to say something or do something, but
there was nothing; no awkward confession, no flirting, no casual offer to pull
over and make out... nothing.
When they got to Eren’s house Jean just waved and said, “Well, see ya.” Eren
had been a bit dumbfounded as he got out of the car and by the time he got to
the house the confusion had turned into anger. Not that hewanted anything to
happen but he had been so sure that something would happen.
“I don’t know Eren,” Bert continued, “he - um- whoever it is - could just be
nervous I guess. Maybe since you guys haven’t gotten along in the past he
wanted to see if you could just... hang out normally." Eren glared at him. “Not
that I know who it is!”
“Does everybody know? Fuck.” Eren scribbled violently on his notebook. He
didn't even really know what he would have done if Jean had tried to do
something.
***
Eren was nervous when fifth period rolled around and it was time for his only
class with Jean. Jean looked like he was actually going to come up and talk to
him at one point but Eren quickly scurried off in the opposite direction.
He made it though gym without talking to Jean, but unfortunately he wasn't able
to dodge Mikasa and Armin during lunch. He reluctantly shared the completely
uneventful details of his Saturday night.
“So yeah, Marco must be wrong because nothing happened,” Eren finished as he
opened a can of soda.
Armin looked puzzled, “Oh... I thought maybe you were pissed because he tried
something.”
“No, I'm pissed because he’s being weird. Telling people he likes me but then -
I don't know. He’s always all flirty with you,” he said accusingly to Mikasa.
“We were alone for a solid half hour and he was just friendly; what is the
point in that? He has friends. I have friends. Why be friends?”
Armin and Mikasa were both looking at him weird, “So... you're disappointed?”
Armin said perplexed.
“I am not disappointed!” Eren said, completely appalled. Mikasa just raised an
eyebrow and Armin shook his head. “I got into his car with certain
expectations, and those expectations weren't met,” Eren said defensively.
“Eren I think what you just described is... disappointment.” Armin said
apologetically.
***
After school Eren walked toward the car to wait for Mikasa; he didn't want to
wait out in front of the school where he might run into Jean. Unfortunately,
Jean was waiting by his car. He tried to turn and walk back to the school, but
it was too late; Jean had already spotted him.
Eren heard footsteps on the pavement behind him. “Hey, I wanted to talk to
you,” He felt Jean hand grab the sleeve of his hoodie.
Eren turned and shoved his hand away. “Well I don’t want to talk to you.” Eren
pointedly shoved by Jean, knocking into his shoulder as hard as he could.
“What is your problem?” Jean barked.
“What? Do I need a reason now to want to knock you on your ass horse-face?”
Eren couldn't remember the last time he had used that old insult, but
apparently it still worked. Jean gave him a sharp shove and Eren banged into
the car behind him. He quickly grabbed the front of Jean’s jacket and pushed
him back. Eren heard running footsteps and felt a strong hand on his shoulder
as Marco swooped in to pull them apart. Eren had forgotten how freakishly
strong Marco was - and his knack for sensing when Jean and Eren were getting
ready to beat the fuck out of each other.
“Hey, knock it off assholes, what if a teacher sees?” he growled.
Jean glared at Eren, “Fine.” He shook Marco’s hand off his shoulder and turned
to go, but Eren was too pissed to let it end there. “Pussy," he taunted, “go
ahead and hide behind your boyfriend.”
Jean came at him again with a curse and this time Marco wasn't quick enough to
stop him. Well that did it. Eren grunted as his back hit the asphalt. Both of
Jean’s hands were fisted in his shirt. They both scrambled, trying to deck each
other in the face. Eren managed to land a punch and using the movement, rolled
them over so that Jean was under him. Jean’s fist drove into his side causing
him to gasp for air. Eren felt a pair of hands on the back of his shirt as
someone dragged him off Jean. This time it wasn’t Marco.
“Okay - that’s enough you two! Principal’s office. Now!”
***
Eren sat in the kitchen staring at the tiles on the floor as his mother gave
him the third degree.
“Suspended? For fighting?” Eren’s mother pressed her fingers to her temple.
“Honestly Eren, I thought you had outgrown this.”
Eren sighed, “Sorry Mom.”
“Well you are grounded for the next two weeks,” she said firmly. “You will come
strait home after school. No parties, no games - nothing. And if Mikasa has
people over you will stay upstairs in your room.”
Eren rolled his eyes and stormed up to his room. Jean Kirschstein is ruining my
life.
***
The following Saturday, Eren was stranded in his room - though he couldn't
blame Mikasa for wanting to have people over. Maybe he would be able to sneak
down after his Mom went to bed. It would be good to see everyone. Since the
fight on Monday no one had asked him again about Jean, and he and Jean had
spent the past week at school avoiding each other whenever possible and when he
couldn't avoid him - Eren tried to pretend that he did not exist.
There was a soft knock on his door. Eren got out of bed. He opened the door and
almost slammed it shut again but Jean jammed his shoulder in the doorway. “We
need to talk.”
“Shut the fuck up or my mom will hear,” Eren hissed.
“Then let me in.”
Eren felt his stomach do a flip as he stood back and let Jean into his room. He
eased the door closed and then stood in front of it with his arms crossed.
“Your aren't grounded? That is such bullshit. What are you even doing in my
house?”
“Mikasa invited me," he said defensively.
Eren could feel the pitch of his voice rise to a ridiculous pitch as he asked,
“And you thought not only coming here, but sneaking up to my room was a good
idea?”
“Well we can't talk at school, and I don’t have your number. Why are you so
pissed? Last Saturday was fun, but now your all moody and shit and pissing me
off.”
“Because I don’t know what you want!” Eren growled.
Jean stuffed his hands in his pockets, sighed, and then blurted, “I can't stop
thinking about you and it’s making me crazy.” He flushed and looked up at the
ceiling. “Even now I can’t decide whether to shove you down the stairs or shove
my hands in your pants.”
Jean might not not be able to decide, but Eren finally knew which option he
wanted to try. He closed the distance between them and pulled their mouths
together roughly. Jean staggered before finding his footing; he tugged his
hands from his pockets and pushed them into Eren’s hair. Eren gasped, and Jean
slid his tongue into his mouth. Eren ran his fingertips firmly down Jean’s
back, stopping just above his waist. Jean pulled away from his mouth and bent
his head. Eren felt his tongue on his neck.
Eren pushed them both back onto his bed and Jean’s head knocked firmly against
Eren’s headboard. “Ow!” He exclaimed and then quickly covered his mouth as Eren
hushed him. They both froze as footsteps approached Eren’s door. There was a
knock. Jean’s eyes widened in panic.
His mother‘s voice came muffled through the door, “Eren are you okay?”
“I just stubbed my toe- don’t come in!” Eren exclaimed. “I’m not dressed!” He
hurriedly added.
“Okay...” she said skeptically, “Good night in there.”
“Good night.” They held their breath as they heard her footsteps retreat down
the hall. Eren let out a sigh of relief.
Jean carefully sat up. “I should probably get back downstairs,” he murmured but
he was still looking at Eren’s mouth. Their mouths slid together again briefly.
Eren pulled away and pressed his lips impulsively against Jean’s jaw, just
under his ear.
Jean muffled a groan, “Shit - when are you not grounded?”
“Next weekend,” he sighed.
“Fuck,” Jean hissed, letting his hands slide off Eren’s shoulders and down his
arms. Quickly, he got up off the bed. “If I don’t leave now, I never will. I
guess I’ll see you at Christa’s halloween party next weekend?”
“Yeah,” it took all of Eren’s will power to sit nonchalantly on his bed and not
jump up and drag Jean back into it.
“Well... later I guess.”
“Oh wait a sec,” Eren got out of bed and grabbed his phone off his desk. “Uh...
what’s your number?”
Jean walked over and took Eren’s phone, “Here, let me put it in.” He quickly
gave Eren his phone back and moved toward the door. He gave Eren one last look
before slipping out.
Eren waited until he heard Jean’s quiet footsteps retreat back downstairs
before collapsing on his bed in a fit of excitement, nerves, and
satisfaction.But I have to go to a halloween party next weekend. And get a
costume. Shit.
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you everyone who is reading this! Hope you are still enjoying
     it - especially now that we're getting to the good stuff. A heads up
     to everyone that I will probably have to update the rating to M in
     the near future.
***** Halloween *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren goes to a Halloween party. Jean and Eren decide to leave early.
Chapter Notes
     I have no idea why this chapter took me so long to write - hope you
     all enjoy it. Also the rating for this fic is now M.
Eren was sitting with Mikasa in her room that Friday after school; it was his
last official day of being grounded. Getting through the past week of classes
had been even harder than the last.
Eren couldn't really figure out how to interact with Jean anymore. He couldn't
really ignore him or go back to being a jerk, but trying to be nice felt too
weird. Having to change around each other in the locker room had been
especially taxing. So what resulted was minimal talking and a lot of staring.
“Are you excited for tomorrow?” Mikasa asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.
“I guess, but Christa's parties are huge and loud and I'll probably want to go
home after five minutes.”
“I meant are you excited to see Jean?”
Eren just shrugged but he felt his cheeks get warm. “Well it's not like he's my
boyfriend. We aren't going to the party together. Both of us are just going to
be there,” Eren ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know what I'm
doing.”
“Well, if a guy sneaks up to your room when you are grounded to make out with
you then there's a pretty good chance he likes you.” Mikasa said reasonably.
“Well I know that; But is it, 'I like you, let's fool around,' or is it, 'I
like you... let's hold hands and eat dinner together and talk about our
feelings.” Eren made a face. “I don't know what I want. I don't know what he
wants.”
“It's cute how nervous you are. If I didn't know better I'd think you'd never
done this before.”
“Shut up,” he muttered, tossing a pillow at her face that she easily caught.
***
The next night, they stopped by Armin's house to pick him up from his
Granddad’s house for the party.
Mikasa wore her Wonder Woman costume, complete with gold lasso and red over the
knee boots. She looked like she could kick twelve different kinds of ass. Eren
wore his usual pair of tennis shoes, black jeans, and a black shirt with bones
printed on it like he was behind an x-ray.
Armin smiled as he got in the car, “Wow Eren, setting new standards for
laziness I see.”
“I’m dressed in the spirit of things,” Eren said defensively, “And I'll have
you know I had to actually go out and buy this shirt. You're not even wearing a
costume.”
“Yes I am,” he gestured animatedly to his pea coat and dark blue scarf,
“Sherlock Holmes”
Eren just looked puzzled. “Where’s your pipe?”
Armin looked dumbfounded, “Do you even watch TV?” he said shaking his head as
he got into the backseat.
It wasn't too far of a drive to Christa's, though she lived outside of town.
Christa’s house was huge, giant and white, sitting in an enormous yard like
something out of Gone With the Wind. With all the people in the yard and cars
in the driveway it looked like the entire school was there. Christa’s parties
were popular, notwithstanding the fact that there was never any booze – her
parents were pretty strict about that kind of thing. Mikasa finally found a
place to put the car and they all made their way inside.
Despite her diminutive stature, Christa wasn’t hard to spot – she wore what was
likely a movie quality Glinda the Good Witch gown, complete with towering
silver crown and a wand that she waved excitedly when she saw them.
“Mikasa!” she said happily, giving her a hug. They knew each other from
volleyball. She complimented Armin’s costume before generally waving her wand
in Annie’s direction. Eren didn't see Jean anywhere yet. He slipped away,
snagging something to drink from the kitchen. It sounded like there was some
kind of commotion in the back of the house. He made his way to the wooden deck
looking over the back yard where Reiner and Marco were having a duel with a
plastic viking ax and light saber respectively. A group of people stood around
yelling out encouragement and bets. Eren leaned his hands against the railing
of the deck as he looked out over the lawn.
“I thought maybe you'd put a little more effort in to Halloween,” said a
familiar voice that made Eren jump. “Guess I was wrong.”
Eren turned around lost the ability to use words for a moment. Jean’s degree of
costume laziness wasn't too far off from Eren's. He wore a pair of red devil
horns on his head and had a plastic pitchfork in one hand. Aside from that he
just wore a dark red shirt and Eren’s favorite pair of black pants. Of course
when he found his tongue again his first instinct was to be caustic.
“Oh, I wasn't aware that putting on plastic horns and your sexy-pants required
so much effort.”
Jean raised an eyebrow at the word ‘sexy-pants’. “I didn't want to wear
anything that would be hard to get out of.” he said, leaning against the
railing next to him.
Eren laughed and almost snorted his drink out of his nose, “You’re gross.”
Silence descended on them and Eren started to feel a little panicky. Did I just
call him gross? Fuck what the fuck is wrong with me?
“Must be nice to be out of your house.”
Eren nodded, “Yeah.” There were people all over the place. This is even worse
than school. Eren took a deep breath. “Do you want to uh, go for a walk?”
Jean narrowed his eyes but shrugged in acquiescence.
They abandoned their drinks and slowly made their way around the house. The
side of the house was dark and quiet and there were less people around. Once
they were around the wall, Eren came to a stop. Jean looked amused, “Well that
was a short walk.”
“Shut up Jean,” Eren put his hands on his shoulders and pulled him down for a
kiss. Jean returned it hungrily. Eren felt his toes curl in his shoes and
wished he didn't have to worry about standing up. There was a loud laugh around
the corner of the house that jolted them both and they pulled away from each
other.
“Do you maybe just want to get the fuck out of here?” Eren whispered.
“Yes,” Jean said emphatically.
The walk to Jean's car, a Buick that looked like it had just rolled out of the
seventies, was brisk and quiet. Jean tossed his horns and pitchfork into the
backseat as they got in.
He threw the car into drive and veered out of the driveway and away from
Christa's house. Jean parked the car on a quiet side street among a few other
cars and turned off the engine. The second they were parked they jumped on each
other.
Eren’s breath caught as they pressed their mouths together. Jean undid his seat
belt and pushed the center console up so they could push their bodies closer
together. Eren was gasping raggedly for breath during the brief moments when
their mouths were apart. His fingers were hooked in Jean’s belt loops and he
dug his teeth into Jean’s lower lip. Jean groaned as Eren moved his lips and
teeth down his jaw. Jean’s left hand fisted in his hair and he pulled Eren’s
mouth back up to his own.
Time seemed to drift and Eren wasn't sure how long they had been at it but his
jaw was starting to ache and he had a very strong urge to move things along.
His hand slid up Jean’s thigh and touched him.
“Oh holy shit,” Jean sighed as his head tipped back and Eren felt his fingers
dig into his waist. Eren rubbed his palm over him and Jean’s hips lifted up off
the seat
“Eren,” he whined. Eren continued to rub him over his pants and his mouth
attacked the place where Jean’s neck and shoulder met. Jean rolled his hips and
bent his mouth close to Eren’s ear.
“Not to like, pressure you or anything but could you please just touch my
fucking dick already?”
Eren suppressed an extremely un-sexy snort as he undid Jean’s pants. Jean's
moan was loud as Eren touched his bare skin. Jean swore and his his own fingers
attacked Eren's fly. Jean’s hand was in his pants and Eren's mind grew fuzzy.
He could barely concentrate so he put all his focus on what his own hands were
doing. Jean moaned and nuzzled the side of Eren’s face. Eren shifted himself so
his knees were on either side of Jean's thighs.
Eren started to move his hands more roughly. “Shit Eren if you keep doing that
I'm done,” Jean panted, but Eren had officially lost all his patience. Jean
gasped and made a noise somewhere between a moan and a whine as he came. Jean
slumped back in his seat, wrapping one of his arms around Eren's waist and
keeping him close.
Jean's hand continued to move slowly. Eren growled and pressed his hips
forward, “Oh come on.” Jean tightened his grip on Eren's waist; with agonizing
slowness he increased the pressure and speed of his fingers. Jean tugged gently
on Eren's earlobe with his teeth, “Are you close?” All Eren could do was
vaguely nod his head and whine. Jean slid his fingers over him firmly and Eren
finally lost control.
Gasping, Eren leaned his forehead against Jean’s shoulder wearily. He wrinkled
his nose; his shirt was stuck to his back with sweat. Jean reached around him
to open the glove box which thankfully contained tissues. They were both
sprawled in the fogged up car, trying to catch their breath, when Eren’s phone
started to ring. It was Mikasa – he had to pick up. Eren disentangled himself
from Jean with a groan and answered.
“Yeah?”
“Eren where are you?” she said with a tinge of concern.
“Ummm...”
He heard her sigh heavily, “Never mind. That was a dumb question. I’m leaving
the party now so he better be giving you a ride home.”
“Uh – I guess so.”
“Okay – see you later.”
“Yup, bye.” Eren hung up his phone and stuffed it back into his pocket.
“What – is Mikasa going to beat me up if I don't bring you home soon?” Jean
asked as he tugged his clothes back into order.
“Something like that,” Eren sighed, flopping back into the passenger seat.
The drive home was quiet but not uncomfortably so. When they pulled up in front
of Eren’s house; Jean idly drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.
“So... see you Monday I guess?”
“Yeah.”
Eren unfastened his seat belt and leaned in for a final kiss. Unlike the
earlier kisses this one was languid and soft. Somehow what was supposed to be a
quick kiss goodnight kiss dragged out for several minutes.
He pulled his lips and hands away with a sigh before getting out of the car and
Eren could feel the stupid smile plastered on his face as he quietly went into
the house.
***** Boyfriend *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren and Jean take an important step in their relationship. And eat
     waffles.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
It was a wintry Friday at the end of November. Thanksgiving break had been a
nice reprieve, but now it was back to the grindstone until the end of the
semester. Only two more classes until the weekend. Eren was digging around in
his locker looking for his German notebook.
“Hey, how's it going?” Jean asked, slumping against the locker next to Eren's.
“I am so glad it's Friday, this week just could not end fast enough.” Eren
grumbled as he threw his algebra book into the bottom of his locker with a
bang.
“I hear you.”
“Do you want to come over later tonight? Like after dinner?” Eren asked.
“Yeah sure,” Jean said, smiling faintly, “I guess I'll see you later tonight
then.”
“Yeah, later.”
***
Eren and Armin were in German class – working in pairs but they were almost
done with the assignment, so they had drifted into talking about more
interesting subjects.
“How are things with Annie?”
“Very good,” Armin said with a smile.
“Did she finally tarnish your virtue?” Eren teased.
Armin's cheeks turned red and he punched Eren's bicep. “Shut up!”
Eren struggled to suppress a laugh.
“We do things... and if I talk about then I'll probably end up dead in a ditch
somewhere; so that's all you need to know,” Armin sighed and recovered his
usual calm demeanor. He kept writing random German words and looking at his
notebook thoughtfully so it looked like they were actually working. “What about
you and Jean? Are you guys having sex yet?” Armin whispered.
“Not yet,” Eren admitted.
“Wow. Knowing him and knowing you, I'm surprised you've held off this long –
you've been dating for a whole month now.”
“Are we dating though?” Eren said, scratching the back of his neck.
Armin narrowed his eyebrows, “Really Eren? He's over at your house almost every
day after school– doing whatever it is you do on the basement couch.”
“Well yeah, but that doesn't mean we're like a couple or anything,” Eren said
defensively.
“Well have you guys talked about it?”
“Eh – not really? To be honest we don't really talk a whole lot. I mean we just
kind of hang out and... do stuff.”
“Eren,” Armin sighed. He shook his head and rubbed his temples. “Do you just
not want to be exclusive or what?”
“No,” Eren said honestly, “That's not it, I just... I don't know. I mean I like
him I just don't feel... romantic I guess? I just don't feel like we need a
label for what we're doing.”
“Yeah well you should probably make sure he feels the same way about it.” Armin
said with a disapproving look.
Eren rolled his eyes, but after that his good mood was definitely soured.
***
Later that night, Eren was feeling much better. Though that probably had a lot
to do with Jean's mouth. Eren was on his back with his knees over Jean's
shoulders and his hands gripped the arm rest of the couch above his head.
Though there were two floors between him and where his parents were sleeping he
was still struggling not to be loud.
Jean had already finished earlier, and now he's taking his sweet time. Eren was
determined not to be reduced to begging, but it was a loosing battle.
“Jean,” he hissed.
Jean hummed questioningly around Eren's cock and Eren's hips would have risen
to push himself deeper if Jean hadn't had such a firm grip on them. Eren glared
at him, though it was so dark the other boy probably couldn't see it.
“Can't you ever just let me come?” Eren whined. Jean made a noise that sounded
like a smothered laugh. Eren's back arched as the suction around him increased
dramatically.
Eren moaned much louder than he had wanted to as he came in Jean's mouth, the
other boy continuing to use his tongue until Eren had finished. He felt his
whole body go slack. Jean slid up his torso and leaned in for a kiss, but Eren
clamped his hand over the other boy's mouth. “Eww.”
Jean snorted and pulled away, “You big baby.” He got off the couch and
sauntered off to the bathroom under the basement steps.
Eren shivered and his bare legs broke out in goosebumps. “Get a blanket while
your up.” Eren fussed. The basement was almost unbearably cold this time of
year.
Jean padded back to the couch, flung the blanket over Eren, and then crawled
under himself. The couch was narrow so Eren rolled onto his side to make
room.The blanket wrapped around them kept the cold of the basement out, though
Jean's longer legs were pulled up and tangled around Eren's. Eren could feel
Jean's warm breath against the back of his shoulder and smell strong minty
scent of mouthwash. Eren really wasn't much for cuddling but he was grateful
for the warmth. Jean yawned.
“Don't fall asleep,” Eren whispered. Eren had friends spend the night a lot,
but never one he was fooling around with. He wasn't sure how his mom would
react if she found out. She probably wouldn't be happy if Mikasa had a guy over
all night.
“I'm not,” Jean muttered, his voice muffled by Eren's shirt. Eren turned his
head, burying his nose in Jean's hair. It was surprisingly soft and smelled
nice. Something herbal that Eren didn't recognize.
“Jean – what are we doing?” Eren asked quietly.
“Hmm?”
“I mean are you – are we boyfriends?”
“Okay, yeah I could be your boyfriend,” Jean sleepily muttered.
Eren stopped breathing for a moment. Well that hadn't been exactly what he
meant but – would it be so bad? He had been hesitant because – well physically
it was amazing but what else did they have? Though on the other hand, people
got into relationships all the time without being friends first, didn't' they?
My boyfriend – the thought made his mouth curl up in smile. It wasn't a bad
feeling; not at all.
He could feel Jean's deep steady breaths. He had fallen asleep. Eren glanced at
the glowing green numbers on the DVD player under the tv. I'll wake him up in a
few minutes.
***
Eren woke up cold. The blanket was half off of him and light was pouring in the
basement window. He looked around and Jean was no where to be found. Crap, did
we fall asleep?
Eren heard the noise of clanking utensils in the kitchen and could faintly
smell bacon. He summoned the courage to get out from under the warm blanket and
expose himself to the frigid air of the basement. He threw off the blanket,
quickly yanked on the pants he had discarded the night before and make his way
upstairs.
The first thing he saw when he entered the kitchen was his mother, facing away
from the doorway, hovering over the stove where the delicious bacon smells came
from. The second thing he saw was Jean sitting at the breakfast bar. Eren froze
in the doorway. Jean had a smile on his face but the moment he spotted Eren his
eyes widened in a silent plea for help.
His mother's head whipped around. “Oh Eren, you're awake.”
Eren forced himself to look calm. “Hello... everyone...”
“Have a seat,” she said cheerfully. Though it was under a veil of maternal
affection, that had been an order. Eren gingerly crossed the kitchen and hopped
up onto the stool next to Jean.
“I was just telling Jean that it's been quite a while since I've seen him
here,” his mom said pleasantly. As she poured a ladleful of batter into the
waffle maker. “Did you boys have a late night? Your mother doesn't mind you
being away from home all night?”
Jean adamantly reassured her that no, his mother didn't mind. And so it
continued for one of the most stress inducing mornings of Eren's young life.
Luckily Jean was in one of his more charming moods and seemed to have a genial
answer for all of his mother's probing questions. At one point Mikasa walked
into the kitchen, took a look around, and then promptly turned back around and
went back upstairs. Finally, after a gauntlet of waffles, bacon, and scrambled
eggs, the inquisition finally ended.
“Well I should probably get home, thanks for breakfast Mrs. Jaeger,” Jean said
with deceptive cheerfulness.
Eren got up to show him to the door. As soon as they were out of his mother's
line of sight Jean's veneer of calm completely evaporated and he looked both
pained and panicked. Jean spoke quickly in undertone and all his words ran
together.
“I am so sorry; I fell asleep, and then I woke up, and then I was trying to
leave, but she saw me made me sit and started making waffles and I didn't know
what to do.”
“It's okay,” Eren whispered back. “She knows nothing,” he said with a lot more
certainty than he felt. Jean made a noise that sounded like a whimper as he
pelted out the front door toward his car. Eren closed the door and leaned back
against it with a sigh.
“Eren, could you help me clean up?” his mother called.
“Yeah Mom,” he called back as he slowly made himself return to the kitchen.
Eren loaded the dishwasher while his mother scrubbed a pan.
“I didn't think you and Jean were friends,” she said neutrally.
“Yeah.” Eren couldn't think of what to say.
“Well it's nice that the two of you are getting along.” His mother carefully
cleaned the waffle iron. “So, when were you going to tell me you have a
boyfriend.”
“Uh...well... yeah...”
“Well at least you aren't going to try to lie about it,” she sighed. “Well at
least this one is age appropriate. Thank God you don't have a 'thing' for older
men.”
“Oh my God Mom,” Eren groaned.
“And I really don't want to know what you two get up to- and I don't really
care as long as your safe.”
“I know Mom I'm not stupid.”
“Hmmmm,” she said thoughtfully
“Mom!”
“Well at least you can't get him pregnant-”
“MOM!”
Chapter End Notes
     Sorry for the sporadic updates - thank you everyone for the kudos and
     all the lovely comments!
***** Good for You *****
Chapter Summary
     Jean and Eren take their relationship to the next level. And by next
     level I mean they do it.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
That next week at Armin's house, Eren felt the need to express a growing
concern to his best friend.
“Armin...I think Jean wants me to … have sex with him.”
“Well no shit Eren.”
“No, you don’t understand,” Eren said, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “I
mean... he wants me... to do him. And like, I haven't done that part of it
before.”
“Eren,” Armin sighed, “you seem to forget this periodically, but I am not gay.
I don't know about this shit.”
“I know that, but you're like... smart.”
Armin closed his eyes and shook his head. “Why didn't you just ask Bert in the
middle of chemistry, like you do with all your other inappropriate questions
about homosexuality.”
The truth was that Eren had tried to ask Bert, who had turned a violent shade
of red and squeaked at him to, “Go ask Reiner for once!” And then he made the
mistake of actually asking Reiner, who started laughing so hard he couldn't
breathe let alone talk.
“Why can't you just use the internet like a normal person?” Armin grumbled.
“Like I mean I know the theory behind it...”
Armin was exasperated. “There is no theory Eren! It's a dick! You just put it
in stuff!”
Eren flopped back onto Armin's bed and covered his eyes, “Well you are no
fucking help at all.”
Armin smiled, “Well I mean it is Jean so – it's not like he's going to suffer
in silence if you do it wrong.”
“Oh God, that's the last thing I need. If I fuck up he will never let me forget
it.”
***
Eren could not fathom why he had agreed to this. It was three weeks before
Christmas and the mall was packed with people. He trotted along as Jean dragged
him around by the hand. Eren did not enjoy holding hands; really any amount of
public affection made him uncomfortable. He didn't care if people knew they
were a couple or anything; it was just so dumb. And so I have to keep holding
his stupid hand so I don't hurt his stupid feelings.
He pretty much hated everything about this afternoon. It wasn't his fault, no
one had ever warned him about going to the mall with Jean. How could he have
known?
“Can we go to the mall after school? I lost my stupid gloves and I need to buy
new ones.”
Eren had thought it would be a quick trip, but oh how wrong he had been. On the
way to get new gloves they passed the shoe department and Jean saw a pair of
boots that he had to try on, and then he saw a new coat he wanted, and before
Eren knew it they were looking at fucking sweaters; of all things.
“This color would look good on you,” Jean said thoughtfully as he looked at a
blue sweater. He looked at Eren appraisingly. “You should try it on.”
“Jean no.” Eren whined, “I'm just tired and I'm hungry and I want to go home.”
“Eren,” he said, frustrated, “you could dress so much better than you do.”
“What's wrong with what I wear?”
Jean rolled his eyes. “You dress the same way you did in middle school.”
Eren groaned. He was too tired to argue and Jean was not going to give up on
this. “Okay fine but I'm only trying on one thing.”
“Okay, one outfit is fine,” Jean said with a manic gleam in his eye.
“I said one.. thing...” Eren weakly protested, but Jean was already charging
away to find pants. At least he was quick. He had them both sequestered in a
fitting room in less than ten minutes.
“Are we both allowed to be in the same one?”
Jean just shrugged and hung his coat on a hook. Even though the place was
packed, the men's dressing rooms were pretty much deserted. Jean threw the pair
of pants at him. “Try these – you always wear the most horrible shapeless
jeans; it gives me nothing to look at.”
Eren kicked his pants off, “What, are you going to just watch me change?”
Jean hummed and folded his arms, “I don't see why not.”
Eren rolled his eyes and tugged the new pair of pants up his legs. “I don't
think I like these, they're too tight,” he grumbled, looking at himself in the
mirror. “How am I supposed to get in and out of these?”
Looking at Jean's reflection, Eren saw him come up behind him. He pushed Eren's
baggy shirt up, letting his fingers graze his bare skin. “Yeah but the view
back here is really nice,” he said thoughtfully.
Eren felt his cheeks color, “Shut up.”
Jean's fingers slid back down his body and into the waistband of his pants.
Eren sucked in a deep breath to try and keep himself calm as Jean smoothly
popped the button open. “As far as getting out of them,” he whispered, “I don't
think we are going to have a problem.” Eren impulsively tilted his head back
and kissed him. He hadn't intended to start an aggressive make out session in a
department store fitting room, but maybe the mall wasn't so bad after all. They
didn't snap out of it until Jean's back bumped into the dressing room door with
a loud rattle.
“Okay we need to leave.” Eren announced. He kicked off the new pair of pants
and pulled on his old ones as fast as he could manage.
“Okay, but we are still getting these.”
“Whatever then, just give me your keys. I'm getting the car.”
***
After racing back to Eren's place, they dashed down to the basement.
Thankfully, no one was home. In a very short amount of time they were pants-
less on Eren's couch, grinding against one another. Eren felt a small ball of
nervousness form in his stomach. They had the house to themselves for the next
couple hours. Now's as good a time as any.
He reached a hand around Jean's back and between his legs. This part at least
wasn't something new between them. He had squeezed a bit of the lube they kept
tucked under the couch onto his fingers; Eren slid in two without much of a
problem.
“Ah! Fuck!” Jean swore.
“Are You okay?”
“Oh you know me Eren, nothing gets me in the mood like freezing cold lube.
Asshole.”
Jean's complaints soon dwindled away however. He let a small groan escape as
Eren added another finger. Jean leaned in and ran his tongue over Eren's
earlobe, “If I didn't know better, I'd start to think that you were finally
going to man up and fuck me,” he panted.
Eren froze for a moment and blinked at him, “Can I?”
“If you don't do it within the next three minutes or so, I might just kill
you.”
“Are you good to go? Do you need more time?”
Jean snorted, “Please, your dick isn't that big. What?”
“Please shut up before you make me change my mind,” Eren grumbled as he pulled
him in for a quick but heated kiss. “Hold on a second, I'll be right back.”
Eren got up and ran for the box of condoms he had hidden in the bathroom. When
he came back Jean was kneeling up, leaning forward nonchalantly, well as
nonchalant as you could be while wearing a sweatshirt and socks with nothing
else, over the back of the couch.
Eren sputtered and lost the ability to form words. Jean looked over his
shoulder at him, slightly annoyed. “Hurry up jackass, it's cold as hell.”
Eren knelt behind him and a shudder went through him as he guided himself in.
He went a lot deeper with the first push than he meant to and they both
groaned. “Oh my god don't move,” Eren gasped.
“Eren,” Jean impatiently sighed.
“Don’t' talk; don't move, or talk, or do any things.”
“Jesus Eren you're killing me.” Jean rocked his hips back and Eren almost lost
his balance and fell over backward off the couch. Jean's let out a high pitched
yelp as Eren leaned forward and pressed himself the rest of the way inside.
Eren held onto his hips and thrust slowly, just reveling in the sensation. He
was having a lot of trouble concentrating and his breath was already ragged.
Jean growled, “Eren, go harder.”
Eren shook his head, “Can't. I'll come.”
“Oh my God I don't care! I just want you to fucking fuck me.” Eren bucked his
hips forward harder and Jean groaned and buried his face in his arms, “Shit,
that's it. Right there.”
He tried to hold off as long as he could but between the sensation of Jean
squeezing around him and the desperate noises he was making it was too much.
After only a few minutes, Eren felt a familiar sensation start to flood through
his body and he groaned, his fingers digging into Jean's hips as he came. His
hand closed around Jean's cock and thankfully he was able to bring him over as
he rode out his orgasm.
After cleaning up, they were tightly curled up in a ball under the blanket.
Eren pressed his nose between Jean's shoulder blades. “Was that... good for
you?”
“That might be the dumbest fucking question you've ever asked me,” Jean said as
he rolled over and planted a kiss on Eren's mouth. He could feel Jean's lips
curl into a smile.
Eren sighed. “We should probably put on our pants before Mikasa gets home.”
Jean smirked, “Do we have to?”
Eren grimaced, “Ugh what is wrong with you? You just jumped from adorable to
disgusting in like five seconds flat.”
Jean got up with a laugh and started to tug his pants on. "No, you're right,
I'd better put my clothes on. If your sister sees me naked I can't guarantee
I'll be able to fend her off – OW! Eren stop it that hurts! EREN!”
Chapter End Notes
     Not sure if the sex in this chapter actually merits an explicit
     rating but hey. Oh and for anyone reading this who is sad because
     they prefer Jean on the top... patience grasshopper.
***** ... and a Happy New Year *****
Chapter Summary
     Jean and Eren go to a party. Marco Bodt is a saint.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
It was the cold but relaxing week between Christmas and New Years. No school
and plenty of time to do whatever he wanted. Mikasa was over studying at a
friend's house. Eren frowned, who the hell spent winter break studying? Mikasa
apparently. Since both his parents were at work that meant that he and Jean
could hang out in his room without anyone giving them crap about it. They were
in the middle of a TV show marathon when Eren's phone beeped. When he saw who
it was he smiled and quickly scooped up his phone. He hadn't heard from Petra
in forever.
EREN hey!
HI how are you?
tired I have been sooooo busy this semester. What are you doing for new years?
maybe hanging out with some people but idk
we're having a party at my place if you want to come?
Eren found himself getting really excited – it had been months since he had
seen Petra and the guys.
“Hey, so for New Years some people I know are having a party... do you want to
come?” He asked.
Jean shrugged. “Yeah okay.”
yeah i'll be there! Is it okay if I bring a friend?
Sure!
***
“So how do you know these people?” Jean asked as they made their way from where
Eren had parked his car to Petra's place. The snow was deep enough to be
annoying and he was already shivering in his coat.
“Petra went to high school with us,” he explained, “Well, she was a senior when
we were freshmen. And she's going to college in town too.”
Jean wrinkled his nose, “What's the point of going to college in the same town
you grew up in?”
Eren shrugged. “Could be nice to stay close to home.”
Petra squealed when she opened the door and she and Eren hugged
enthusiastically. She hurried them inside and out of the cold. They excitedly
caught up with each other.
“Oh and um, this is Jean, he is my boyfriend.” Eren added.
Jean waved, “Hi.”
“Oh hello, nice to meet you!” Petra said cheerfully though Eren noticed her
eyes widen a bit. “Well everything's in the kitchen. You can help yourself to
pretty much anything.” She had their coats slung over one arm. “I'm going to
put these upstairs...” She leaned close to Eren. “Listen, maybe stay in the
kitchen and I'll... I'll just find you okay?”
“Okay,” Eren said, raising an eyebrow. Why was Petra being so weird? The
kitchen was crowded but Eren managed to squeeze through and make himself a
drink. He introduced Jean to everyone hanging out in the kitchen.
“Does she have this whole house to herself?” Jean asked.
“Nah, she rooms with... where is he?” Eren realized he hadn't seen Gunter
anywhere yet. “Hold on I'll be right back.”
He made his way out of the kitchen and past the stairs, moving down the hallway
which was dim and relatively quiet.
“Hi brat.”
A shiver went down Eren's spine. He knew that voice. He turned slowly. His ears
had not in fact deceived him. It was his not-ex-boyfriend, who was supposed to
be far away in Canada.
“Hello,” Eren said weakly. “Nobody... I had no idea you were here.” He took a
long sip from his drink to try and keep himself from saying anything else
completely stupid.
“So, I gather.” Levi said in his usual tone that made it sound like he was
bored to death.
“I didn't know you were in town, how's school?”
Levi just shrugged in response. “Fine.”
Eren looked around nervously. Everyone was either in the kitchen or the living
room and the dim hallway was completely empty. “It feels like this year is just
dragging by,” Eren rambled, “It's making me crazy.”
Levi snorted, “It only gets harder going forward. So,” he said, his tone of
voice changing, “What are you doing later?”
Eren forgot to breathe for a moment. He swallowed heavily, “I'm... um... here
with someone actually.”
Levi blinked slowly. “Really?” he said curiously.
“Yeah,” Eren said cautiously.
“Well. Good for you then,” he ran his eyes up and down Eren's body, “too bad
though.” He leaned in close and Eren felt his breathing quicken. “You look good
tonight kid.” He brushed by Eren and moved toward the living room.
Eren waited until he was certain Levi was out of earshot. “Fuck.” He downed the
rest of his drink and then purposefully moved back to the kitchen to get
himself another one. Jean, Petra, and her roommate Gunter were standing by the
sink making small talk and they noticed Eren immediately as he came in.
“Whoa what happened to you?” Jean asked as Eren screwed the top off a bottle of
whiskey.
“Petra, you could have maybe mentioned that Levi was here,” Eren said tersely
as he made himself another whiskey and coke that was a bit heavy on the
whiskey.
Petra winced, “Well I was trying to, but then you just wandered off.”
“I'm lost, who's Levi?” Jean asked.
“A friend of mine,” Petra said diplomatically.
Jean looked at Eren expectantly. Eren sighed. “He's they guy who – well you
know.” Eren gave Jean a significant look, unwilling to finish the sentence.
“Oh? Oh!” Jean said as his face lit up with comprehension, “That's the guy you
dated? The college guy?”
“We weren't dating,” Eren grumbled.
“Yeah,” Gunter laughed, “More like fucking nonstop,”
“Shut up!” Eren hissed.
“I don't know why you're so upset,” Gunter said, “It's not like there's any bad
feelings between you, well that I know about anyway.
“No he just... forgot what he's like. He just flusters me, okay.” Eren said. He
could feel his cheeks flushing again and it wasn't just from the alcohol.
“Oh.” Jean said flatly.
Eren immediately knew he had made a poor choice of words. “Fuck, whatever. I
don't want to talk about it right now okay,” Eren grumbled as he took a gulp of
his drink and then almost spit it back out.I made that way to strong.
The rest of the party wasn't bad, but it was definitely tense. Levi kept a
polite distance, until he left. Eren didn't notice him until he was right next
to him.
“Hey, I'm leaving. Got another party to go to.”
“Oh, bye then. Good to see you.” Eren said, trying to maintain his calm, which
was difficult at his current level of sobriety.
Levi's eyes flicked to Jean, who had spent the night glued to Eren's side and
glaring at any guy who spent more than two seconds looking at him. Jean noticed
Levi looking at him and raised an eyebrow.
“Well,” Levi said thoughtfully to Eren, “You have a good night,” Before making
his way to Petra and then out the front door.
“Who the fuck was that guy?” Jean asked loudly. He hadn't exactly been going
easy on the booze either.
“That was Levi.” Eren said quietly. He went to take another sip of his drink
but it was empty again.
Jean sputtered. “What, that guy? Yeah right.”
“I'm not kidding Jean!”
“But he's like... shorter than Armin! How? How did you even...”
Eren buried his face in his palm. “I am not talking about this. I need another
drink.”
Jean spent the entire night physically attached to him. His hand was in
constant contact with Eren's shoulder, back, or hip. Eren felt his irritation
at his boyfriend's clinging mounting, and the amount of whiskey he was
ingesting probably wasn't helping. He felt the old urge to punch Jean in the
face mixing with the more recent urge to push him into the coat closet and
fuck.
When midnight came, their kiss wasn't the simple joyful peck that most of the
people around them got. It was hard and possessive. Eren let his pent up
irritation out into the kiss, grabbing Jean by the shoulders and letting his
teeth dig into his lower lip.
Jean pulled away, “You have whiskey breath,” he said with disgust.
Eren rolled his eyes and pushed Jean's shoulder. He wasn't in the mood to stay
much longer and luckily the party was starting to wind down. Unfortunately he
was also completely shit faced and there was no way he could drive and Jean
wasn't in much better shape. He pulled out his phone to call Mikasa. The phone
rang for almost a whole minute before she picked up.
“What?” she sighed.
“Jean and I are at Petra's house, can you come get us? I can't drive.” Eren
said, trying to sound as pitiful as possible.
Mikasa sounded irritated, “I'm not even home right now.”
“Where are you?” he said curiously.
She sighed. “We're at Armin's place, and I didn't even drive here– hold on a
minute.”
She started talking to someone else with her. “Yeah it's them. Yeah, they need
a ride.” Her voice got louder as she turned back to the phone. “Okay, we're
coming to get you. Just wait okay?”
***
It was actually Marco's car that pulled up in front of Petra's house, with
Mikasa sitting the in the front seat. Jean and Eren climbed into the backseat
of Marco's car. Mikasa leaned over the back of her seat. “Give me your keys and
I'll bring the car home.” She shook her head at Eren as she took his keys and
said goodnight to Marco apologetically before getting out of the car.
“Come on Eren.”
“But I'm already in the car and it's cold.” he whined.
“Eren -” Mikasa said warningly.
“Mikasa, it's fine,” Marco said . He said something else to her but Eren missed
it. Mikasa seemed appeased and just rolled her eyes at Eren before she walked
off to where he had left the car.
“Jean, I'm dropping you off first,” Marco said as he pulled away from the curb.
“Sorry to make you guys come get us,” Eren apologized.
“The party was winding down anyway,” Marco sighed. “Did you two have a good
time?”
Eren frowned. “I don't know.”
“Why are you pissed? I should be pissed.” Jean grumbled. “I'm the one who had
to deal with you being all hot and bothered over your ex-boyfriend.”
“I didn't know he was going to be there or I wouldn't have gone! And he's not
my ex.” he protested weakly.
“Uh huh.” Jean said skeptically.
“And I am not bothered!”
The tension stretched between them until Jean finally sighed and leaned up
against him. Eren stared resolutely out the window. Jean leaned in closer.
“Eren.” Jean pressed his lips against his jaw and then down his neck in a
series of slow kisses and Eren relented and laughed.
“Hey!” Marco said warningly, glaring at them in the review mirror, “Don't do
anything in that backseat okay? My little sisters sit in that backseat.”
“Eyes on the road,” Jean retorted, bringing his mouth back to Eren's
collarbone.
“Jean Michael Louis Kirschstein, I swear to God ...” Marco barked.
Eren guffawed and pushed Jean away, “Oh my God, your middle name is Michelle.”
“It is not! It's Michael – it's french you fuck.”
“French is dumb.”
Jean raised an eyebrow, “Ah véritablement ?”
Eren snorted, “Oh my God. Stop it.”
Jean leaned in closer, “Ce n'est pas stupide maintenant.”
“You're such an idiot,” Eren breathed, squirming as Jean's lips brushed up
against his ear.
“Je pense que je pourrais t'appel rien et on pourrait penser que c'est bon.
C'est vrai mon petit canard?”
“Hey I'm not little,” Eren protested, latching onto the only word he
recognized.
“Certes, non là où cela compte...”
“Could you please stop!” Marco begged, “You know I can understand that!”
“Boo, you're no fun. Just drop us both off at my house would you?” Jean griped.
“Gladly,” Marco sighed, “but if you two don't knock it off, I promise I will
kick you out into the snow and leave you there.”
When they finally pulled up to Jean's house, Eren had the presence of mind to
thank Marco and say goodnight before Jean yanked him out of the car, into the
house, and up to his room.
Chapter End Notes
     Oh wow so sorry to anyone out there reading this who speaks actual
     French. That was horrible. For what it's worth, Jean's French is
     supposed to be good.
***** Stupid Holidays *****
Chapter Summary
     They fight, they break up, they kiss they... do inappropriate things
     in the boy's bathroom. Also sorry for the gratuitous use of the word
     'fuck' in this chapter. These boys don't have the best vocabulary
     when their in a good mood let alone when they fight.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Eren, Jean, and Armin hustled through the cold parking lot. It was February and
still unfailingly cold as they hurried to get to their first classes.
“What are you and Annie doing for Valentine's day?” Jean asked Armin.
“Annie actually wants me to come over,” Armin said nervously. “I think she's
going to cook maybe.”
“Oh God, that's terrifying,” Jean whispered, “What if it's terrible? You know
you'll have to pretend it's amazing no matter what right?”
Eren clapped Armin on the back, “Well on the plus side, if you don't show up to
school the next day then we'll know to dig up her backyard right?”
Armin sighed, “How about you guys, are you two doing anything special?”
Eren wrinkled his nose and snorted, “Definitely not,” Eren said with derision.
He hadn't liked Valentine's Day when he was single and it definitely hadn't
changed now that he was in a relationship. It was stupid, a day set aside where
you had to buy someone stuff so they would know how much you loved them?
Jean raised an eyebrow, “Does this mean I don't get candy?”
Eren rolled his eyes. “It's a dumb holiday and it doesn't really mean anything.
Who cares?” Eren said with a shrug as they made it into the building.
Jean sighed and turned to Armin, “I think this means I have to by my own
candy,” he said seriously.
“Oh who cares, do what you want,” Eren said irritably. He could only take so
much of Jean's attitude before lunch when he was like this. “I'll see you guys
later.”
***
The following week was Valentine's day, and Eren was irritable from having to
put up with all the candy, cards, and general lovey-dovey atmosphere. He wanted
to kill the choir director who introduced singing valentines to their school.
All he wanted to do was run home and sit in his basement with Jean, order a
pizza, and watch something dumb on TV. Eren stopped by Jean's locker before
their final class.
“So, what do you want to watch tonight?”
“I can't come over, I have plans,” Jean said smoothly, putting his French book
into his backpack.
“What?” Eren asked, not understanding.
“Marco's parents are going out and he has to babysit his sisters, I'm going to
keep him company.”
Eren's brow wrinkled in confusion, “But...”
“You said you didn't want to make any plans for tonight,” Jean said with an
indifferent shrug.
“I just meant I didn't want to do anything dumb like dinner or whatever,” Eren
protested.
“Whatever, I'll see you tomorrow.” Jean said coolly, as he left for his next
class leaving Eren dumbfounded.
***
The next morning Eren was in a foul mood. He hadn't slept well and had spent
most of his night stewing in his bedroom. What kind of asshole doesn't want to
spend Valentine's day with their boyfriend? The answer was Jean. Jean was that
kind of asshole. Eren didn't even see Jean until lunch, and he didn't even
pretend to be cheerful. The were buying soda from the machine in the hall and
Jean yawned loudly.
“I did not get a lot of sleep last night,” He sighed.
Eren made a non-committal noise and ground his teeth together.
“Yeah, I ended up spending the night at Marco's,” Jean said nonchalantly.
Eren exhaled sharply. Jean had spent the night at another guy's house. “You are
so fucking unbelievable.” Eren grumbled. While he had been miserable all night
Jean had been doing God knows what at Marco's house. Rationally he knew he had
nothing to be jealous of, but he didn't exactly feel like being rational.
“Well I'm sorry if I decided I didn't want to just sit in my room alone all
night,” Jean said petulantly.
Eren shoved his quarters angrily into the machine. “Yeah well I wasalone,
because you fucking ditched me.”
“You said you didn't want to do anything,” Jean fumed, “So I made other plans.”
He crossed his arms. “And of course you're the one who's mad at me. This always
happens! You do something retarded and then get mad at me for getting mad at
you!”
“You spent the night at somebody else's house – on Valentine's day!” Eren
exploded.
“Oh my god Eren we're just friends!” Jean yelled, “You seriously think I would
do that? Cheat on you? On fucking valentine's day? You are so fucked up!”
Deep down Eren knew that Jean wouldn't, but he was too angry to just let it go.
“I'm fucked up?” Eren said incredulously, “You're fucked up! You don't tell me
when you're mad at me; you just go cry to Marco about what a shitty boyfriend I
am.”
“I was fucking mad at you! You fucking fucktard! You said you didn't care,”
Jean hissed, jabbing Eren in the chest with his pointer finger.
Eren swatted Jean's hand away, and gave him a shove for good measure.
“Are you fucking serious,” Jean snapped, “You want to fucking hit each other
now?”
Eren clenched his hands into fists but kept them firmly at his side, “You're
not worth it. I'm done.” he spat. He threw his hands up in the air, “I'm just
done Jean.”
Jean looked completely taken aback for a few moments before his features
shifted back to furious. “Fine!” Jean roared, “Go fuck yourself Eren!” Jean
turned on his heel and stormed off into the lunch room. Too upset to deal with
him, Eren grabbed his lunch and hid in an empty classroom to eat.
***
Armin, who had caught the tail end of the fight ended up dragging Eren to get
coffee and talk after school. Even though he complained about it, Eren was
secretly grateful. Armin gently probed him for details.
“So it was pretty bad huh...” Armin said quietly.
“It was fucking awful.” Eren whispered. He was slumped forward over the table,
wrapped around his coffee cup. “Why would he do that though? He totally blew me
off and then rubbed it in my face and acted like I'm the asshole.”
“Do you think maybe he was trying to make you jealous?”
“Ugh he is so fucking immature,” Eren growled.
“Well you both lose your tempers pretty easily. Just give yourself a couple
days to cool off,” Armin said gently.
Eren sighed, “You're probably right.” Eren pulled out his phone to check his
messages and his mouth dropped open as he saw the notification. It felt like
his stomach dropped out and he involuntarily clapped a hand over his mouth.
His distress must have shown on his face because Armin immediately scooted his
chair around the table to sit next to him, “What? What is it?”
“He fucking un-boyfriended me on facebook,” Eren said, staring at the
notification that Jean Kirchstein was no longer in a relationship. He inhaled
sharply and firmly ignored the stinging in his eyes.
“Oh Eren,” Armin said gently, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder.
“Who does that?” He hissed, more distressed than angry. “He can't tell me to my
face? Or call or send me a God damn text? No, you know what? Fuck him,” Eren
said, putting his phone down. “I don't care.”
“Oh boy,” Armin said, “I think we're going to need something stronger than
coffee.”
***
Eren spent the next month ignoring Jean's existence, which was difficult
considering that Eren wanted to beat the ever loving shit out of him. He didn't
want to give him the satisfaction though, of knowing how upset he was. The only
thing I can do is pretend that I don't give a shit. Since the end of last
semester they didn't have any classes together anymore so at least there was
that, but the only reason it worked was because Jean was ignoring him just as
aggressively. Whenever Armin or Mikasa tried to talk to him about it he just
shot them down. He just wanted to erase the fact that they had even tried to
date from his brain.
Eren had ducked out of sixth period history to chill in the bathroom, luckily
the teacher didn't seem to notice if he disappeared for half the class. His
train of thought was interrupted when the bathroom door opened and closed and
he heard someone enter another stall. He always hid in this bathroom because it
was by the lunchroom and during other times of the day it was rarely used. Just
in case it was a teacher, Eren flushed the toilet he hadn't been using and
emerged to wash his hands.
Eren was drying his hands on some paper towels when the other stall opened. Of
course it was Jean, why wouldn’t it be Jean. They made eye contact in the
mirror and Jean rolled his eyes. They hadn't spoken to each other since the
fight, and now they were alone in a mostly deserted part of the school. This
wasn't going to go well.
“I'm not in the mood for your shit today,” Jean said moving to the sink
furthest from Eren's.
“Well, I'm not in the mood for your face,” Eren retorted, unable to just keep
his mouth shut and let it go.
Jean angrily pulled a fistful of paper towels from the dispenser, “Wow, good
one Eren, really mature.”
Eren sputtered, “I'm immature? You couldn't even break up with me to my face,
you broke up with me by changing your fucking relationship status! Don't even
talk to me about mature, asshole.”
“I broke up with you?” Jean said incredulously, “You're the one who said you
were done.”
Eren wanted to pull his own hair out as a wave of frustration rolled over him.
“You are such a fucking idiot, I just didn't want to fucking fight anymore you
dumb fucking shit.” Eren squawked as Jean grabbed his shirt collar with both
hands.
“What are you going to do asshole, hit me?” Eren demanded, though even as he
said it he felt the atmosphere in the room shift and the look in Jean's eyes
made him gulp. Jean did not in fact hit him. His mouth crushed down against
Eren's and Eren yelped with surprise. He grabbed a fist full of Jean's hair and
yanked until the other boy pulled away.
“Ow, shit,” Jean swore as he pulled his mouth away.
Eren just stared up at him, fuming. “What the shit Jean?” Eren shook his head.
“You know what? Fuck it I don't even care,” Eren barked as he pushed Jean
backwards into the handicap stall. He turned to lock the door before they
immediately jumped each other again. Eren didn't even try to restrain himself
and ran his hand firmly down the front of Jean's pants. Jean lifted his hips to
meet his hand with a groan.
“This is the stupidest thing I've -” Jean cut himself off with a high pitched
gasp as Eren's hand dove into his underwear. Jean immediately retaliated, his
fingers attacking Eren's fly. Their hands were rough and there was way too much
teeth involved when their lips made contact. Eren tried to wrap a leg around
Jean's hips to bring them closer together and knocked Jean back against the
door.
Jean pushed him back slightly, “Dammit I'm taller, just let me-” Jean turned
them and pushed Eren back against the wall. He grabbed the back of his right
knee and pulled his leg up. Eren put his hands on Jean's shoulders to boost
himself up and Jean used the wall to help keep him up. Jean ground up against
him and Eren had to smother an inpatient whine into Jean's shoulder. The
friction of their bare cocks rubbing together was amazing but Eren needed more.
“I want you to fuck me,” Eren panted.
Jean groaned, “That might be a bit difficult to accomplish.”
“I have a condom in my wallet,” Eren said. He wriggled impatiently forcing Jean
to put him down.
“You know you aren't supposed to keep them in there right?”
“Just shut up and put it on.”
Eren's pants dropped and he kicked off his sneakers to get them all they way
off. “Dammit Eren we are going to get fucking caught.” Jean swore.
Eren rolled his eyes and tossed his pants and shoes on top of the handicap bar.
He noticed with irritation that Jean was not putting the condom on. Eren shook
his head and then stuck two of his own finger in his mouth to wet them and
reached between his legs. It was tricky fingering himself while standing up;
his breath hissed out and he couldn't smother his whimper as he breached
himself.
“Shit,” Jean groaned as he finally caved and tore the wrapper off the condom as
Eren loosened himself up. Jean pushed him back up the wall and Eren frantic
climbed the taller boy until his legs were around his waist.
Jean's look of lust was briefly replaced with one of concern. “Eren, are you
sure you don't need more time-”
“Jean!” Eren hissed impatiently as loud as he dared.
Eren had to clamp his own hand down over his mouth as Jean thrust up into him.
He really hadn’t prepared himself well for this, he was still tight, though at
least the condom was lubed. Jean clenched his teeth dug his fingernails into
Eren's ass. Jean was trying to go easy on him but gravity wasn't helping the
situation, and Eren slid down on Jean's cock – taking a lot more a lot sooner
than he had wanted. Eren tried to hold himself up on Jean's shoulders to make
it easier, but his arms started to shake and he was quickly reduced to a
whining mess. Jean started to thrust harder and Eren whimpered desperately,
clawing at the back of his shirt.
“Fuck I'm not going to last long,” Eren gasped.
“Good,” Jean grunted, “You're not exactly dainty you know.”
“Oh my God just shut up,” Eren groaned. He reached down with one hand and
started to stroke himself. He threw his head back and let out a short sharp
moan as he came in his own hand. Luckily Jean came right after he did, muffling
his own groans against Eren's neck.
Eren pushed at Jean's shoulders, “Down, just please I need-”
Jean grunted and bent his knees so he could pull out and let Eren down. Eren
hissed in discomfort as he cleaned himself up and put his pants back on. He was
already incredibly sore and knew It was only going to get worse. Sex for the
first time in over a month with minimal preparation had been a poor decision.
Eren limped out of the stall and looked at himself in the mirror, his face was
all red and his shirt was damp with sweat. Jean was already at the other sink,
finger combing his disheveled hair.
“How do I look?”
“Like you just fucked the shit out of somebody.”
“Fuck,” Jean sighed. There was a long silence between them as Eren washed his
face with cool water and waited for the flush to leave his cheeks.
“So,” Jean said hesitantly, “Does this mean we're still fighting or-”
Eren pinched the bridge of his nose, “I don't fucking know.”
Jean shook his head and turned to leave, but Eren grabbed his arm and held him
back, “Fuck, Jean. I miss you and I hate this. This was stupid and it sucks
and...” He trailed off, unable to put everything he was feeling into words.
Jean turned, “Eren,” he said quietly, almost pleadingly. He didn't pull away,
but he didn't make a move toward Eren either. Not giving him the chance to
leave, Eren stepped forward and slid his arms around Jean's waist. He pressed
his face into Jean's chest and stayed there. Jean was quiet for long enough to
make him nervous.
“You are such a shit,” Jean growled, but Eren felt his hands gently come up to
rub his back and Eren buried his face in Jean's shirt. Eren felt the taller
boy's warm breath on the top of his head, “I guess this means I have to buy you
a birthday present now.” Jean said irritably.
“Fuck you.” Eren grumbled, glad that Jean couldn't see that he was smiling like
an idiot.
Chapter End Notes
     Once again, sorry for the sporadic updates - it's been a long time
     since I wrote a multi- chaptered fic so thanks for bearing with my
     grammar and... general lack of a plot. Thank you all for reading, all
     kudos and comments make me squeal happily.
***** Prom Date *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren gets dragged to a dance. Side characters get laid.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Armin and Eren were working on their homework in the school library during
study hall. Well, at least Armin was working on homework. Eren kept catching
himself staring vaguely out the window at the newly green leaves on the trees.
It was the end of April and winter had finally relinquished it's grasp.
“Eren, you've got like three pages of vocabulary to do. Stop daydreaming about
your boyfriend.”
"I wasn't!" he honestly protested.
Armin leaned back as Eren flicked a pencil at him. “How are things with him
anyway,” Armin whispered.
“They're okay,” Eren said with a shrug. Both he and Jean had both been subdued
since their temporary split in February. Eren was trying to make an effort to
rein in his temper, which wasn't always easy.
"Well that was enthusiastic," Armin said raising his eyebrows.
Eren sighed and shook his head, "things are fine."
“Well obviously there's something there or you wouldn't have gotten back
together," Armin said.
Eren propped his chin in his hands and tried to change the subject. Well you
and Annie are still doing good right? You guys have been together for a while
now.” Armin bit his lip and Eren went back to looking out the window. “Do you,”
he asked quietly after a few minutes, “I mean... are you in love with her?”
“Yeah,” Armin said quietly.
“Have you told her?”
Armin toyed with his pencil, "Yeah, we've both said it," he said quietly. "How
about you and Jean?"
Eren shook his head as the conversation went exactly where he didn't want it to
go. "We haven't said it," he admitted.
"Are you in love with him though?" Armin pressed. Eren groaned.
"Hey," Armin said, "You asked me and I answered honestly."
Eren ran his fingers though his hair, "I don't know. Maybe I do."
His feelings for Jean were definitely strong, but he couldn't say if it was
love. There were definitely times, in the heat of the moment where he wanted to
say it, but something always stopped him. It wasn't that he thought Jean would
be spooked if he said it. It was just that... saying 'I love you' would bring
them over a line; to a point where they couldn't go back. They had been
together for six months -although that was only if you didn't count the month
they had spent broken up. Being in love with Jean meant that part of him was
exposed. The idea of putting a part of himself into something that could be
over so easily scared the crap out of him.
He knew the longer they were together the deeper he would sink and if he felt
this way about him now, what would it be like a year from now? How hard would
it be then? When they had broken up in February, they had only been together
for four months and that had felt terrible. Love or not, breaking up again
would suck.
***
That weekend Eren had Jean over again. They were back to their routine of
playing video games or watching a movie, followed by sex. Eren was shifting
towels around in the basement bathroom and grumbling to himself. Both Mikasa
and his parents were out of the house and he wanted to get things going but...
"What's up?" Jean called from the other room.
"Condoms are gone," Eren frowned, "I know I at least two left."
"Did your mom find them?" Jean asked worriedly.
Eren grimaced, "Maybe, but honestly I don't think she'd care."
Jean sighed in resignation. Eren was adamant about using a condom when they had
sex. Jean made it clear that since it was just the two of them he didn't care
about it, but Eren wouldn't budge on the subject. Levi had been fastidious
about using them and Eren had picked up the habit from him.
Jean sighed, "This means I'm not getting fucked doesn't it?"
"You know how I feel about shit on my dick," Eren said with a helpless gesture
as he emerged from the bathroom. Jean rolled his eyes and Eren climbed into his
lap, cupping Jean's face in his hands. "Looks like you're going to have to
suffer through a blow job. Poor baby."
***
Later that night they both lay sprawled and satisfied on the couch. Eren
stretched his arms up over his head as Jean sat on the end of the couch and
slipped on his shoes, getting ready to go home.
"So, prom is in a couple weeks,” Jean said casually.
Eren held back a sigh, of course Jean would want to go to prom. "I bet you look
good in a suit," Jean cajoled, running his fingers through Eren's hair, "And I
know I look good in a suit. It's a win win situation."
Eren hummed at the thought. "Maybe we should just skip the dance and just go
straight to the fun part, Ow," he grumbled, rubbing his chest where Jean had
poked him. Eren bit his lip, he didn't really want to go but Jean was clearly
excited about it so he nodded sleepily. "Sure why not, it'll be fun."
They heard the front door open and close and Eren jumped up, grabbing his pants
and putting them on. A pair of footsteps stopped at the top of the stairs.
"Eren? Are you downstairs?"
"Yeah mom!" Eren yelled, as he slowly zippered his pants so the sound wouldn't
be too loud. 
"Is your sister down there with you?"
"No, I have Jean over though."
"Oh okay. Hey could you call her and make sure she knows your father is going
to be home for dinner tonight?
Eren pulled his shirt over his head and went to the bottom of the stairs.
"Is Jean staying for dinner?" his mother asked. The boyfriend in question
started to vigorously shake his head no but Eren grinned and yelled, "Yeah
totally." Ever since their first meeting over waffles, Jean lived in terror of
Eren's mother and Eren loved watching Jean squirm in her presence; it was one
of the many ways he knew he wasn't a good person.
“Alright, I'll let you boys know when dinner is ready. Call your sister!” his
mother called as they heard her footsteps retreat.
Eren pulled out his phone to text Mikasa and tell her to come home. She was so
busy lately, It seemed like she was constantly at other people's houses for
group projects or going to the library after school to work on homework. He
glanced over at Jean, who looked a little pale.
"I don't know why she makes you so nervous. She likes you."
"Are you kidding? Your Mom hates me," Jean insisted.
Eren grimly thought about the first an only time his mother at met Levi, "No, I
know when my Mom hates someone, trust me, she doesn't hate you."
Jean wrinkled his nose, "She might start start if you show up to dinner with
jizz breath."
"Hmm... I'm gonna go brush my teeth."
"Good idea."
***
Going to prom involved a lot more planning then Eren was prepared for. Renting
a tux and ordering flowers was not at all his type of thing so luckily his
mother was all over it, excited that she would finally get some, 'nice
pictures'.
The day of things were going relatively smoothly, well if you didn't count the
part where he stuck himself while pining on Jean's flowers and swearing like a
sailor. Eren struggled to not look pissed off for the volley of pictures his
Mom wanted to take. They finally managed to get away from Eren's house,
promising his mother they would drive safe and have a good time.
This year their school was having prom at the country club at the nice end of
town. There would be dinner first and then the actual dancing would start. They
ended up at a table with Armin, Annie, Bert, and Reiner. Dinner was nice, but
would have been nicer if he wasn't so worried about getting food on his tux.
Mikasa, and most of their other friends weren't there yet; they were skipping
the dinner and only coming to the dance afterward.
As dinner wound down, the lights dimmed and the volume of the music increased
and students started fleeing the tables to cram onto the dance floor. Reiner
abandoned the table quickly, dragging a resigned looking Bert along with him.
Mikasa, Sasha, Connie, and Marco showed up as dinner ended and ran to join the
insanity on the dance floor. Eren wished he could just stay at the table all
night but Jean had other plans. He grabbed Eren's elbow as the first slow song
of the night started up.
“Jean, please no,” he whined as his boyfriend levered him out of his chair.
Jean shook his head emphatically as he pulled a still protesting Eren onto the
dance floor. “This is a dance, and you are going to dance. This is not an
option.”
Eren sighed as they stood facing each other. Not sure of what to do, Eren put
his hands on Jean's waist. Jean started to put his hands on Eren's shoulders
but then shook his head. “I can't put my hands on your shoulders. I’m taller
than you and it'll just look dumb.”
“Well what do you want me to do?” Eren whispered in frustration.
“Just keep one hand there and,” Jean grabbed for Eren's left hand with his
right and laced their fingers together, “There.” Jean's other hand snaked
around his back and he felt his palm against his lower back.
Eren felt his face turn red, “This is stupid,” he hissed. He didn't know what
to do with his free hand so he just let it rest on Jean's bicep.
“Could you just shut up for the next five minutes and let me enjoy this?” Jean
sighed.
Eren bit his lip to hold in his retort. His embarrassment started to fade as he
realized that absolutely no one was paying attention to them. Shuffling side to
side didn't take up much of his concentration, which allowed him to focus on
how riddiculously good Jean looked in his tux. He inhaled Jean's usual pleasent
smell mixed with the fresh scent of the flowers pinned to his lapel.
Jean had noticed him staring and was looking at him funny, "What?"
"Just thinking about how hot my boyfriend looks," Eren whispered. He was
rewarded with a rare blush from Jean.
“Aww,” a female voice cooed. They both turned to see Armin and Annie dancing
next to them, watching with bemused expressions. “That is just cute as fuck,”
Annie said with a slight smile.
“Shut up Annie!” He and Jean hissed in unison. Armin laughed, the traitor, and
he and Annie moved away as the slow song came to a close and something faster
with a heavy beat came on. Eren retreated to their table.
His friends allowed him to sit out for another few songs but then before he
knew it they were all ganging up on him and pestering him to get up.
“No way, I already danced. No more,” he said as Mikasa of all peole started to
prod him.
Mikasa narrowed her eyes, “Yes you are. Lucky for you I came prepared.” Mikasa
leaned forward and straitened his suit jacket, tucking a flask into one of the
inside pockets as she did so.
Eren smiled, “You are the best sister.”
Later on, Eren would blame the whiskey for the dancing that occurred. All the
body heat in the room made it overly warm and both he and Jean had ditched
their jackets. Luckily for Eren, 'dancing' at a high school prom mostly
consisted of grinding up against your date; which in Eren's case was both an
easy and enjoyable occupation.
He felt Jean's hands on his hips as he moved him away slightly. “Okay
seriously, you need to stop or I'm going to get a boner.”
Eren turned so they were facing each other and reached his arms up and around
Jean's neck, leaning close to his ear. "Let's get out of here."
"Eren," Jean protested, but his hands were moving across Eren's lower back and
threatnign to dip lower. Eren nuzled Jean's neck, pressing their bodies
together and he heard Jean muffle a groan.
“Knock it off you two!” a teacher barked. They jumped apart, only to realize
that the teacher wasn't yelling at them.
"I dont' know about you but I have had enough," Eren said as he pulled Jean
back off the dance floor. "Ready to get out of here?" he asked suggestively.
"Yeah I'll get the car," Jean leaned in and kissed him quckly but firmly on the
mouth before heading out the door. Eren went back to the table to snag his
jacket. Mikasa and Marco were by the table and his sister gave him a
questioning look. "Hey Mikasa, Jean and I are uh... gonna head back to get
everything ready for the afterparty."
"Uh uh," she said, clearly not believing a word. "The dance is over in like an
hour and a half so please just have pants on when we all get there okay?"
***
When Eren woke up the next morning, his arm was asleep and his head was
pounding. He tugged his arm out from under Jean, waking him up in the process.
Thankfully, they had managed to pass out upstairs in Eren's bed. The after
party the night before had gotten a little crazy, even Reiner, who normally
didn't drink that much had been in no state to drive.
Jean threw his arm over his eyes to block out the light, “what time is it?”
Eren craned his head and looked at his alarm clock, “Like... nine.”
“That is way too early," Jean mumbled, rolling over.
Eren whimpered as the blood started to rush back to his fingers, “You fell
asleep on my arm,” Eren complained.
“It's not my fault you always try to be the big spoon,” Jean grumbled.
His phone was blinking. there was a text from his Mom that she had gone out and
expected the house to be clean when she got home that afternoon. Since he had
not urge to get out of bed, Eren texted Armin.
you guys still downstairs?
yeah mr. too good to pass out in the bsmt. sash and connie want to go to ihop
and get breakfast. are you in?
Eren scratched his jaw thoughtfully. Waffles and maybe some bacon didn't sound
like a bad idea. He poked Jean in the ribs. "Jean get dressed we're gonna go
get breakfast."
Jean groaned, rolling over in the blankets, “Five more minutes.”
Eren sighed. He'd go use the bathroom first and then come back and get Jean out
of bed. He walked into the hallway and almost walked directly into Marco Bodt.
“I thought you went home last night,” Eren mumbled confused.
“Uh well,” Marco mumbled and scratched his head.
It was at that moment that Mikasa's door opened, she was wrapped up in her robe
and holding something. “You forgot your socks-” She froze as she saw Eren.
Marco had come out of her room. Marco had spent the night in Mikasa's room.
Eren watched dumbfounded as Marco gingerly took his socks from Mikasa. “Well
umm... yeah.” He nodded his head like they were just running into each other at
the grocery store and walked down the stairs, though they heard him break into
a run as he went around the corner.
“Mikasa... did you?”
“Yeah," she said with a shrug, "It's not like we haven't before.”
“What? Jesus I didn't even know that he swung that way you know? ”
Mikasa just stared at him.
“Oh my God," Eren said, horrified, "You disappear all the time. Like you are
never home,” his eyes widened and he pointed an accusatory finger at her, “You
haven't been studying! You've been fucking Maro Bodt!”
“What?" a high pitched voice behind him said.
Eren turned, Jean was standing in his doorway with his mouth hanging open. Jean
looked back and forth between them a few times before throwing his hands up in
the air. “Ugh!” He turned and went back into Eren's room, slamming the door.
Mikasa raised her eyebrows, “... wow.”
Eren shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. “How long has this
even been happening?”
Mikasa crossed her arms and shrugged. “I don't know, a couple months. Since New
Years.”
“New Years... Holy shit!” Eren's eyes widened, “That's where my fucking condoms
have been disappearing to! You... you go buy your own! I am not funding
your...” he made a vauge hand gesture, "sexcapades."
Mikasa rolled her eyes and went back into her room shutting the door firmly.
Eren dragged himself to the bathroom before going back to his room. Jean was
sprawled on his bed staring vacantly at the ceiling. Eren crossed his arms and
glared. “Are you seriously pouting over the fact that Marco made it with my
sister?" He sat on the bed next to him and poked him int he arm, "You do
realize that since you have a boyfriend this reaction is really inappropriate.”
“Imagine for a minute,” Jean said, still staring at his ceiling, “If your
desperate crush on me was never fulfilled,” Eren snorted but Jean ignored him,
“and then you walked in on me and Armin. Imagine what that would be like.”
“Ew no thanks, I do not want to imagine that," Eren grumbled.
“Exactly.”
Eren's phone went off; it was Armin.
“Hey we're all ready, are you guys coming or what?”
“Yeah sorry,” he said before hanging up. He gave Jean a sharp shove. “Come on,
we are going to go eat bacon and get some fucking brain bleach.”
Chapter End Notes
     Haha okay, I've had the Marco/Mikasa planned for a while now. I just
     love them both so much and wanted them to get laid so... there you
     go. I'm tempted to write like... an aside for them but anyone reading
     this knows it takes me forever to update so we'll see.
     Sorry for any horrible errors, I am going to re-read this in a bit to
     fix any.
***** Vacation's where I want to be *****
Chapter Summary
     Summer vacation - words are said
Chapter Notes
     Ugh I posted this kind of hastily - I'm gonna re-read for mistakes in
     the morning... eek.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Summer vacation was a sweet release. Eren had actually managed to finish the
school year with good grades. The best part was that he was now free to spend
all the hours he would normally spend at school screwing around with Jean. Not
that they were having sex all the time now, but there was definetly more of it.
As far as Eren knew, Marco and Mikasa were still doing... whatever it was they
did. Mikasa maintained that they were just friends, who occasionally fooled
around. Eren was skeptical about that, but honestly didn't want any details. He
considered it his brotherly duty to be vaguely threatening on the rare
occasions Marco came over, but he would never actually pick a physical fight
with him. The guy was freakishly strong for a nerd.
It was the middle of June when Jean told him that he was going to be spending a
few weeks out of town. They were both stretched out in lounge chairs in Jean's
back yard, catching some sun. Eren knew his mom would probably lecture them
about sun damage if she knew.
"So you're going to Louisiana for a month?" Eren asked incredulously.
"Yeah, my mom and I go every summer to visit family," Jean said, taking a gulp
of a concoction that was partly lemonade but mostly vodka that Eren snuck over
in his backpack.
"Cool, like New Orleans?"
Jean shook his head and frowned, "Nah, more like the swamp."
Eren grimaced. An entire month without Jean was not a pleasant prospect.
"Ugh what am I supposed to do with you not here- it's going to be really
boring."
"Man I will probably have to share a room with one of my cousins," Jean whined,
"It's going to blow. Relish in the fact that at least you'll be able to jerk it
while you cry about how much you miss me."
Eren snorted, "It's only a few weeks."
Jean stretched his arms up over his head and sighed.
"Just don't get your foot bit off by an alligator or whatever," Eren said with
mock seriousness, "I will break up with you."
***
Jean had only been gone for two weeks and Eren was going to lose his mind.
Literally all of his other friends were too busy hanging out with their
girlfriend or their boyfriend or their whatever to hang out with him
Eren spent most of his day looming over his phone, waiting for a text or the
occasional phone call. It was strange, but without their regular interruptions
of kissing or groping, he and Jean were actually talking a lot... which wasn't
something they normally did.
Not to say that nothing sexual happened; bless the inventor of camera phones.
He also couldn't pretend he wasn't really into the southern accent that started
to creep into Jean's speech, and the way more french words had crept into his
vocabulary.
It was late, and Eren had called Jean before going to bed.
"So how was Christa's party?" Jean asked. Eren could hear crickets on Jean's
end of the phone, he had probably ducked outside to talk to him.
"Lame, I left early actually."
"Really?"
"I was the only one who came alone."
Jean snorted, "There's a joke in there somewhere..."
"You are so lame."
"So," Jean continued, "Are Marco and Mikasa still pretending their relationship
is clandestine and we're all fucking idiots?"
"You'd know better than I would, he's your friend. Mikasa doesn't tell me
shit," Eren grumbled.
"Well I get why he's doing it," Jean said amiably, "I mean, he's not allowed to
date."
"Wait what?" Eren snorted a laugh in disbelief, "He's not allowed to date?
Then.. why do they let him have Mikasa over? What do they think he's doing with
her?"
"Yeah, his parents think he's just gay," Jean laughed, "They don't seem to
understand the concept of being bi."
"Oh my God, why wasn't I blessed with oblivious parents," Eren sighed
jealously, "How's your Mom doing by the way?" Eren asked to change the subject.
"She's all pissed off, we had to go see my grandma today."
"What's wrong with her?"
"She's just uber Catholic. Even though it's been like, seventeen years, she
still gets on my mom's case for ... well me. Since she and my dad never did get
married."
"That's bullshit," Eren grumbled. He had known before that Jean's dad wasn't
around but had always just assumed that his parent's were divorced or
something.
"Honestly, they just chain-smoke and snip at each other in French. I guess
maybe they think they're talking too fast for me to understand or whatever. My
Grandma would have a conniption if she knew about me," Jean continued, "Like my
mom knows and is cool with it obviously, but... I don't know. There's no real
reason for the rest of them to know I'm gay. She would just give my mom more
shit that she already does. Say it was her fault for not having a man around
the house or something. My cousins keep teasing me about sneaking off to 'call
my girlfriend'. God, I want to correct them just so I can see the looks on
their faces."
"It's only two more weeks," Eren said reassuringly.
"I know," Jean sighed, "Sorry I'm complaining so much. I gotta let you go.
Tomorrow's Sunday- I've got to mentally prepare myself for Mass in a ninety
degree church."
"Eww, good luck with that."
"Ugh I'll just be glad to come home," Jean sighed, "I gotta go - bye."
"Bye, love you," Eren said offhandedly.
Eren was silent for a few moments, in horror of what he'd just said before he
jammed the button to end the call. He dropped the phone on the bed like it was
a snake.
"Ah shit," he muttered. After hanging up like that Jean would definitely know
that he was freaking out.
He dashed across the hall and burst into Mikasa's room. He must have looked
significantly distressed because she looked concerned instead of yelling at him
for not knocking.
"What? What is it?" she asked.
Eren started pacing back and forth, "Ehh I told Jean I love him. Then I hung up
on him."
"Oh God," she sighed, running her fingers through her hair.
"Well we were saying goodnight or whatever so I don't know."
"At least this ends your debate on whether or not you're 'prepared for that
step'," she said with a shrug.
Eren paced back and forth, "He's gonna know. He's gonna know that I'm freaking
out and he's going to think I didn't mean it. I mean I didn't mean to say it
but I... fuck!"
Eren heard his phone, which he had left back in his room, beep and he groaned.
"You are no help. No help at all," he admonished before retreating back to his
own bedroom.
Taking a deep breath, he picked up his phone and swiped his finger along the
screen. A text from Jean.
love u too dummy. gnight
The knot in Eren's stomach tightened, but at the same time a ridiculously giddy
feeling washed over him. He flopped down onto his bed and buried his face in
his pillow, clutching his phone to his chest like an idiot.
***
To Eren's surprise, Jean actually didn't bring up the 'love' debacle the next
few times they spoke. The days crept by, and then finally during the last week
of July, Jean's car pulled up in front of Eren's house.
Eren bolted out the door and across the yard, tackling Jean in a hug that
knocked him back against his car. He quickly pulled him down into a kiss and
sighed happily as he felt Jeans fingers running down his back. Eren couldn't
believe how much he had missed him. He couldn't believe he had shrugged his
shoulders at the mention of a month. A month was forever.
Making out on the front lawn in broad daylight when his parents were home was
probably not the wisest of decisions. Eren reluctantly pulled away. They had
been planning on catching a movie, but Eren didn't think he had the patience
for that.
"Oh my God can we please just go to your place," he panted.
Jean nodded, and opened the passenger side door, shoving Eren inside.
They usually didn't hang out at Jean's place. The walls were thin and his
mother was usually home during the evenings. Right now however, it was the
middle of the day and they didn't have to worry about any interference.
After racing up the stairs, Jean kicked the door to his bedroom shut behind
them while he peeled his shirt up and over his head. He had a deep tan, which
Eren found incredibly hot. They frantically shed the rest of their clothes and
Jean shoved his halfway unpacked suitcase off his bed and onto the floor. They
fell into bed and after some hasty preparation, Eren rolled Jean onto his back
and pressed his hips between his spread legs.
Jean tilted his head back with a gasp and his arms stretched up over his head
to grab the edge of his mattress. Eren leaned forward and ran his tongue along
the place where Jean's neck and shoulder met. His hand moved under one of
Jean's thighs to push his leg up and Jean's back arched with a whine when Eren
thrust forward.
"Oh Eren," he groaned.
Eren's teeth bit into his own lip and his fingernails dug into Jean's leg. He
heard Jean's breathy laugh.
"Eren... ahh Eren," He groaned teasingly. During their recent experimentation
over the phone, they had discovered that Eren was extremely partial to the way
Jean said his name while in the throes of pleasure.
"Fuck," Eren panted, dragging out the word as he thrust his hips faster. Jean
started to roll his hips up to meet him and the bed started to thump
rhythmically against the wall.
Jean's hands released the mattress over his head and he curled in, reaching up
the pull Eren down to him. Jean's hand slid down between their bodies to touch
himself while Eren threw his entire body into next few thrusts.
He felt Jean's legs start to shake and then his whole body convulsed, "Eren, Oh
God Eren!" he wailed.
Eren allowed himself to moan loudly, pressing his forehead against Jean's
shoulder as he came. Eren pulled out and rolled over, seeking a cool spot on
the surrounding sheets. He was exhausted and completely coated in sweat. Jean
lay sprawled on his side, breathing heavily with a huge grin on his face. "Oh
my God," he sighed.
Eren rolled over and kissed him, pressing their lips together hard and then
pulled away gasping.
"I love you," Eren sighed. In that moment it just felt right and perfect to say
it and he didn't give a fuck.
"I love you," Jean emphasized, rubbing his nose in Eren's hair. They lay
quietly together for a few minutes. "I was going to say we should go without
screwing for a few weeks more often.. but that might be dumb.
All Eren could do is nod, "That would be dumb. You are dumb. I have a dumb
boyfriend," he murmured sleepily.
Chapter End Notes
     WOW look at me updating twice in one month! This chapter was kinda
     short though.
     We are getting pretty close to the end - I originally had this story
     mapped out at fifteen chapters and I think It might come out less
     than that since there are certain parts coming up that I don't...
     really want to drag out... sigh.
     Thank you everyone so much for all your comments and kudos and WOW I
     can't believe almost 50 people have this ridiculous story bookmarked.
***** In Which Shitty Things Happen *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren is very stupid.
Chapter Notes
     So yeah... this chapter has the big YOU KNOW WHAT in it. Ugh feel
     free to pretend the previous chapter was the actual end of this fic.
     Originally I was going to have their relationship slowly crumble over
     several chapters, but that was just too depressing to write and who
     in their right mind would want to read that?
     The length of this chapter really doesn't correlate to how long it
     took me to write... It was just hard guys.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Looking back, Eren was a little bit in awe of how in half a year the two of
them managed to go from "I love you," to fucking everything up completely. For
those last few weeks of summer, their relationship was close to perfect. They
spent almost all their time together. When they were apart there was a constant
flurry of text messages that made Eren's mother cringe when she opened the
phone bill.
The new school year crept up on them quickly, and Eren felt excitement, but
also a sense of trepidation. There was only one more year of high school before
the unknowns of adulthood. Eren mostly tried not to think too hard about the
future. Every time anyone asked him where he wanted to go to school, or what he
wanted to go to school for he felt inadequate with his uncertainty. Armin had a
plan, Mikasa had a plan, even Jean had a plan.
"So...why do you want to major in French," Eren asked him while they lounged in
Jean's room after school, "don't you already know French?"
"Well yeah, but it's not exactly like... France French. You know? I'm sure I
would be understandable but - yeah. It's not like four years of french in this
high school is going to cut it. I think my French is actually better than the
teacher’s"
"What do you even do with a French degree?" Eren asked with genuine curiosity.
"Well.. I could do pretty much anything," Jean said. A hint of excitement crept
into his voice, "I could work for pretty much anyone, anywhere I wanted."
"That is cool. I mean I sure as fuck don't know what to do with my life," Eren
admitted.
"You're still planning on staying here and going to Shiganshina?"
Eren nodded, "Yeah yeah, I know you think it's lame so don't even start."
"Well you could apply some other places too- just in case you change your mind
about it. You can put in an application for Stohess." Jean said with
nonchalance that he obviously didn't feel. Stohess was Jean's dream school. It
was also on the other side of the country.
"I don't know," Eren frowned. He just wanted to get off the subject completely.
Even though it was almost a year away, the prospect of being apart from Jean
wasn't something Eren liked to contemplate.
"Well you don't know what you want to do yet right?” Jean asked, “It's a good
school, there are a lot of options..." Jean wrapped an arm around his
shoulders, "And you'd be with me."
Jean leaned in and Eren kissed him, though he was far from convinced that going
to Stohess was a good idea. Jean must have known what he was thinking, because
he sighed and pulled away.
"Just, say you'll think about it at least?" he asked hopefully.
"I will," Eren agreed.
***
Eren was at Armin's house with Mikasa a few days later, spending a rare
afternoon away from Jean.
"If one more person asks me about college, I'm going to push them out a
window," he complained.
"I didn't say anything," Armin said mildly.
"I know I know," Eren grumbled, "I have no idea what I'm doing. Going to school
seems like such a waste. Like, I know my parent's will be disappointed if I
don't go, and then everybody will just keep asking me why I'm not going. I'll
probably just put in an application at Shiganshina."
Armin nodded, "It can't hurt."
"Jean wants me to apply at Stohess with him," Eren admitted.
"Wow," Armin said with a raise of his eyebrows, "That's a nice school."
"I don't know," Eren muttered. "Tuition's expensive, it's in the city, so on
top of that everything would cost more, and it's far away so I wouldn't get to
come home much." He shrugged.
"You'd get to go to school with Jean," Armin said, though he gave Eren a
penetrating look.
"I'm not dumb Armin, I know picking a school just because your boyfriend is
going is a terrible idea," Eren muttered.
"Bert and Reiner are going to the same school," Mikasa reasoned.
"Well yeah, but it's Bert and Reiner. Their going to get married after they
graduate and like adopt twelve kids or something," Eren joked. Eren toyed with
the string of his hoodie, "Have you and Annie talked about what you're going to
do?" He asked Armin.
Armin rubbed his nose, "We're just going to play it by ear, see what happens."
"That's probably what we should do," Eren frowned, "Just not worry about it for
now." Eren glanced at Mikasa.
"Don't even ask me." She warned.
"I wasn't going to," Eren said defensively. "If going to school with your
boyfriend is dumb then I don't know what following your... whatever Marco is...
to college is."
"So, are you guys coming over to Annie's Friday night?" Armin asked, desperate
to change the subject.
"I guess we'll have to," Mikasa sighed. "We can't have parties in our basement
anymore. Nobody wants to come within a five foot radius of your fuck couch,"
Mikasa said with a shudder. "We just need to burn it at this point. It could
get someone pregnant."
"You are disgusting," Eren groaned.
"At least when Marco does come over it's while no one else is home we stay in
my room.... mostly."
"What do you mean mostly?" Eren barked.
"Well I cleaned the shower after," she said quietly.
"Mikasa no!" Eren wailed, "Don't put that image in my brain - Armin stop
laughing, it is not funny."
***
At first, things with Jean continued as they had been. Eren bought homecoming
tickets without Jean having to beg first. They went to Krista's annual
Halloween party together as a couple. Shortly after that they celebrated having
been together for a year; though they couldn't seem to agree when exactly they
had started dating.
The future didn't rear it's ugly head again until the beginning of December,
when Jean got admitted early decision to Stohess University. They were at
Eren's house when Jean's mom called him to tell him the acceptance letter came
in the mail. At first he was pissed that she had opened it without him, but by
the time they hung up he was positively giddy about it. Eren managed to smile
but barely. Jean was definitely moving away now. It was Jean's dream school and
Eren wasn't applying there. Any faint hopes he had nursed about the two of them
going to school together had been quashed.
It must have shown on his face, because the smile dropped from Jean's face and
his brow knit with irritation.
"You can't even pretend to be happy for me can you?"
Eren threw up his hands, "I am, I mean I'm glad for you but, fuck that doesn't
mean I can't be sad too."
Jean surprisingly softened, "I don't want to be away from you? You know that."
A part of Eren petulantly hated that he wasn't important enough for Jean to
even consider not going the school he set his sights on. He knew it was
childish, hell, it's not like he was considering giving up his future plans for
Jean... well plans as they were. He had yet to admit to Jean that he hadn't
even put in an application to Stohess. He was torn between coming clean and
just lying about receiving a rejection letter.
Jean put his hands on Eren's shoulders, "It's not the end of the world."
Eren knew it wasn't, but it felt like it.
***
For Eren, things started to slowly unravel over the next few weeks. He couldn't
even enjoy just being around Jean anymore, he felt sick all the time. He didn't
want to lose him but it seemed so inevitable. He just wanted to fast forward
their lives and get the pain over with. He unconsciously began to inch away,
slowly but surely distancing himself.
He started losing his temper and they started getting into fights that were
reminiscent of when they were freshman. They started having spats that got
downright vicious. The only change was that where before they would start
hitting each other, now they would turn it into sex. It certainly ended the
argument, but nothing got resolved and a few days later they would start having
the same fight all over again.
Eren honestly hadn't planned it, but one Saturday night in January it happened.
They were going home from the movie theater in Jean's car and the drive back to
Eren's house was quiet and uneasy.
Eren was slumped and staring out the window but he could feel Jean looking at
him. "Are you okay? You've been kind of weird lately."
Eren sighed, "I don't know, just thinking a lot I guess."
They were quiet again for a while.
"Do you think the long distance thing will work?" Eren asked, "Everybody who
I've talked to says it's doomed to failure."
"I don't think that has to be true," Jean said tentatively, "I'm not saying it
would be easy but I mean, there are people who do it. I mean, you'll literally
be a phone call away. And it's not like we'll never see each other again. Since
you're going to school here, we'll see each other when ever I come home."
Eren ran his fingers though his hair, "Yeah... whenever you manage to make it
here."
"Well I've said it before Eren,” Jean said, eyebrows narrowing in irritation,
“If you don't want to be far away, then just come with me. It's not too late
for you to put in an application."
"We've talked about this already, I am not going to fucking follow you there
like a puppy." Eren said petulantly.
Jean rolled his eyes, "You get so fucking stubborn over the stupidest things.
You don't even know what you want to do with your life. Would it really be that
big of a sacrifice for you? You don't want to be away from me, but you sure as
fuck don't want to bewith me either. You're fucking impossible."
"I might not know what I want, but I know what I don't want, and I don't want
to fucking go to Stohess," Eren argued.
"Oh that's right, I forgot," Jean said mockingly, "You just want to aimlessly
stay here in this fuckhole forever."
"And all you do is bitch about how you want to leave! Shit, even if we did go
to school together it wouldn't matter."
"What?" Jean pulled the car over and put it in park suddenly enough that Eren
jerked forward against his seat belt. Luckily, they were in a residential
neighborhood a few blocks away from Eren's house and this time of night the
roads were pretty deserted.
"I just don't know if I can do it,” Eren whispered. He could feel Jean's eyes
boring into the side of his head.
"Do what?" Jean said, an angry edge creeping into his voice.
"Just be around you everyday and not act like in a few months everything's
going to just fucking fall apart!” Eren exploded.
"Whoa slow down a minute-”
"Every time I think about it I feel like I'm going to puke. What's the point?
What's the point in doing this every day when you can look ahead and just see
the fucking end of it."
Jean exhaled sharply, "Ar you doing this right now?" he asked incredulously. "I
seriously don't get why you are doing this right now...”
Eren just couldn't. He didn't want to go through the two of them slowly falling
apart thousands of miles away from each other. This was better. Thishad to be
better.
"I just... can't do it Jean."
"So you don't even want to try?" Jean snapped, his hands tightening on the
steering wheel. He took a deep breath, "I don't understand why you're doing
this - I don't get it Eren..."
Eren said nothing. A part of him screamed that he could still salvage this. He
could apologize, or he could just unhook his seat belt and jump in Jean's lap
and feed all his anger and fear into fucking the shit out of him.
But Eren didn't do either of those things. He just covered his mouth with his
hands and did nothing. The next few seconds felt like forever. At first, he
thought Jean was going to get angry, maybe even beat the shit out of him, but
he didn't. He didn't break Eren's nose, or scream at him, or kick him out of
the car and make him walk home. His shoulders slumped, he turned his head away,
and a defeated sigh fell from his lips.
Eren was ashamed of his own relief.
Jean put the car in gear and started to drive, turning down the road that would
lead the short distance to Eren's house. In the silence that followed Eren felt
a burst of panic. What the fuck had he done.
"Jean-"
"Don't."
Eren stared resolutely out the window. He had been ready for Jean to yell at
him, hit him, or toss him out in the road. He could have dealt with that, He
knew how to handle Jean's anger but he didn't know how to deal with whatever
this was.
They pulled up to Eren's house and Jean still hadn't said anything. Eren looked
over at him but Jean still wouldn't look anywhere but strait ahead out the
windshield.
"Jean-"
"Just get the fuck out of my car Eren."
As soon as Eren was out Jean slammed his foot on the gas pedal, tires squealing
on the pavement. Eren trudged up to the door and, fumbling with his keys,
managed to open it. The house was quiet. All Eren's energy deserted him. He
managed to drag himself upstairs and into bed where he could hide for the rest
of the weekend - if not the entire rest of the school year. By Monday everyone
would know what an asshole he was and they could hate his guts for dumping the
boy he loved because he was a coward. For now he just wanted to be alone and
wonder if he would ever stop feeling like shit.
Chapter End Notes
     WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHY did I think this was a good idea for a fic? For
     those of you who made it through that chapter I promise you two
     things:
     1) EPILOGUE
     2) It WILL be up within the next week.
     *Flees from the scene of the crime
***** Epiloge *****
Chapter Summary
     Three years later, two guys who used to date run into each other at a
     bar. Things ensue.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
It was probably lame, no, it was definitely lame that Eren Jeager was spending
the night of his twenty-first birthday alone. He stuffed his hands in his
pockets to keep them warm as he made the short walk to the small bar that was
only three blocks away from his apartment.
It couldn't really be helped that his birthday was during spring break at
Shinganshina and the friends he'd made in school were at home, or someplace
warm if they had the money. Neither Armin or Mikasa's spring breaks lined up
with his either, which was too bad.
Though to be fair, it wasn't like he had spent the whole day alone. Reiner and
Bert, well mostly Reiner, had dragged him to the bar after midnight the night
before, and earlier he had dinner with his parents.
After getting back to his room, Eren had felt restless, so he pulled his coat
back on and made his way to Maria's – the town's only gay bar, though Eren
supposed he should be grateful his hometown was big and liberal enough to have
a gay bar. Eren pushed open the door and sighed with relief as he came in out
of the wind. It wasn't very crowded, since it was a week night and most of the
student population was gone.
Eren actually managed to get a seat at the bar, and the bartender Hannes poured
him a whiskey. Eren sipped his drink and fiddled with his phone. He glanced
around at the few patrons and didn't recognize anyone. Great, now I'm awkwardly
drinking alone in public instead of the privacy of my own home. He decided that
he should probably finish up and then shuffle back home.
The bar was pretty quiet, so Eren immediately noticed when the door opened.
Eren's breath caught in his throat as Jean Kirschtein walked in. Eren had been
thinking about him a lot since seeing him that November.
Jean saw Eren and then froze for a moment before lifting his hand in greeting.
Jean presented his ID, which must have been fake, since his birthday wasn't for
another week. Eren grinned at Jean's nervousness. At Maria's, the understanding
existed that, since most of the patrons were college students, as long as you
remembered to tip and didn't act like an asshole, Hannes wouldn't look too
closely at your ID. Hannes barely looked at it before making Jean his drink.
Jean perched on a stool not far from Eren's. Eren debated with himself on
whether or not to say anything. Well if he didn't want to talk, he wouldn't
have sat so close... right?
“So, it there a reason you're out drinking by yourself?” Eren finally asked.
Jean took a long swig from his drink, "I just had dinner with my mother and her
boyfriend. I needed to both drink and get out of the house so...." he shrugged.
"Drinking alone on your birthday though? That's a little lame" he teased.
"I got my fill of rowdy drinking last night," Eren sighed. He was already on
his second drink and so with very little prompting from Jean he told the entire
story of the night before. It was strange how easily they fell back into
talking to each other, like they hadn't spent the past three years ignoring
each others existence. While he talked, jean scooted to a closer stool so they
were sitting together
“Well it sounds like you had a good night,” Jean said, finishing off his first
drink and signaling for another.
"Ugh, It would have been better, but they were trying to- well Reiner was
trying to - hook me up with this guy and I was just like - notinto it. "
Eren realized a bit too late that maybe he shouldn't be talking about this with
the guy he dumped, but Jean nodded in understanding.
“I know how thatfeels.”
Talk drifted to their families, and to school, how different class mates were
doing. Both of them went through another drink or two. Jean briefly lamented
his lack of a boyfriend and Eren hummed thoughtfully. As they talked, the few
people in the bar had slowly trickled out and Eren realized they were the only
two customers, how long had they been talking for?
“Wow, it's almost two,” Eren said, looking at his phone.
“I should get home,” Jean muttered. He wobbled a little as he stood up, "Shit,
I didn't mean to drink this much. I think I'm going to need a cab."
Eren shook his head, "No, I mean my apartment is like a couple blocks away. If
you want to crash on my couch?"
"Really?” Jean shook his head, “No, I don't want to make you do that."
"Nah," Eren said as he waved his hand, "it's no problem, I insist."
“Well okay then, if you insist,” Jean sighed.
It was even colder out now than it had been earlier, and the wind gusted around
them. Nothing like cold as balls weather to make you sober the fuck up. Eren
almost wiped out on a patch of ice but Jean caught his elbow.
"Shit, thanks," Eren muttered, laughing uneasily. Shit why do I have to act
like a drunk idiot right now.
Jean kept the hand on his arm as they carefully made their way down the
sidewalk. Eren swore he could feel the touch burning through his coat. They
finally got in to Eren's building. Neither of them had spoken since Eren
slipped. The tone in the bar had just been friendly but now it had shifted
since they were alone together.
Eren led the way upstairs. When they were leaving the bar he had honestly
intended just to let Jean crash on his couch, but now... No, stop it he doesn't
want that. Don't be weird.
He had sobered up a bit since they left the bar, and he really couldn't use the
alcohol as an excuse for what he was feeling right now. Before he knew it they
were outside his door. Jean was standing behind him and Eren couldn't think. He
could feel Jean's breath softly blowing on the back of his neck and he fumbled
with his keys. He pushed the door open and let Jean go in first. He lived alone
and was not a neat person, so his living room looked a bit like a bomb had gone
off.
"Sorry it's such a mess," he mumbled.
Eren locked the door and when he turned around Jean was standing really close.
They were both taller now, though Eren noticed Jean still had an inch or two on
him, which was nice. Oh God, shut up brain.
Eren frantically racked his mind for reasons to not to what he was about to do
and came up empty. He put his hands on Jean's shoulders and kissed him. Jean
froze on the spot; Eren could feel his shoulders tense under his fingers and he
backed off.
"Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm really stupid. Please-"
Eren didn't get any farther because Jean apparently would rather kiss more than
hear what he had to say, and Eren was okay with that. his mouth opened and he
tilted his head to the side as Jean cupped the back of his head.
Eren staggered back into the door as Jean shoved him into it. The realization
that Jean was into this and they were actually going to do something took a
while to register. Coats, gloves, and scarves ended up in a pile on the floor.
Hands moved curiously, feeling what was the same and what had changed.
Eren managed to break away long enough to pull them into his room. It was
strange how much he remembered, where Jean liked to be touched, where he liked
to be kissed, where he was ticklish. As the last of their clothes were shed,
Eren hesitated. They used to just sort of go for it, but after so much time he
wasn't sure what Jean would want.
Jean perched on the edge of his bed, “Well birthday boy, which end of this to
you want to be on?” he smirked.
Eren stood between his legs and pressed their bodies together, “Both,” he
finally panted.
Jean grinned, “I was hoping you'd say that.”
They both fell back onto the bed in what was the beginning of a very long
night.
*** 
Eren woke up in the morning groggy, though thankfully not as hung over as he
could be. He felt the warmth of the sun coming in through his window. Even
before he opened his eyes the memory of the night before rolled over him. Well
he didn't kill me in my sleep... that's a good sign right?
When he cracked his eyes open, Jean was sitting on the edge of his bed still
undressed.
"Hey," Jean said neutrally.
“Hey.” This morning Eren felt all the nervousness and trepidation that the
alcohol had kept at bay the night before.
Jean's fingers played with the covers, “I just wanted to say that, I'm glad I
ran into you last night. Like...” he swallowed, “I honestly thought that I ever
saw you again I'd just... punch you in the face or whatever but - It's actually
really good to see you."
Eren smiled wryly, "Well I'm glad you didn't break my nose then."
Eren sat up in bed as Jean started to gather his clothes and get dressed.
"When do you go back to school?" Eren asked.
"I gotta drive back tomorrow morning," Jean replied.
Eren watched him and felt disappointed that he was going. He asked, "I don't
know if you have to do anything or... Do you... maybe want to go get breakfast
or," Eren looked at the clock, " Well okay I guess now it'd be lunch?"
Jean sighed, as he tugged his pants up, "I don't know if that's a good idea."
Eren frowned, “Ah, apparently drinking and fucking is okay, but food is a no
go."
"I just," Jean ran his fingers though his hair, "I mean, I can shoot the shit
with you over a few drinks, I can fall into bed with you, but I can only go so
far with this. The more time I spend with you, the more effort it is for me to
not talk about what happened, so unless you want to have this discussion-” Jean
interrupted himself, “You know what, fuck it, I don't care whether you want to
talk about it or not because I'm going to. I don't regret doing this with you
but, I can't pretend that I'm not still mad at you too. You really fucked my
shit up Eren.”
"I know,” Eren whispered.
“And now,” Jean continued, “Being around you I just... remember everything I
like about you and It makes me feel a lot of really stupid things and I don't
like it.”
Eren took a deep breath, “Maybe it means something to you, or maybe it
doesn't,” he said quietly, “but I do regret the way I did things. I can't say
that we should have stayed together, but... I did handle it really shitty and I
am sorry about that.”
Jean was quiet for a while before saying, “So, you don't think it would have
worked out?”
Eren shrugged, “I don't know, but... you might not think the same obviously,
but for me it was good to be able to figure out my own shit, and just kind of
only worry about my own crap for a while. I'm not glad about it, and maybe it
wasn't inevitable, but in some way maybe it was for the better. I don't know.”
Jean hummed and pulled his shirt over his head.
Eren put his hand in his chin, “So, what now?”
Jean frowned, “What do you mean?”
“I mean, has anything changed or... do we just go back to not talking, like we
have been for the past three years, and pretend this didn't happen?”
Jean looked at him for a while, “I didn't stop talking to you because I hated
you," he admitted, "Or because I was being vindictive. It just hurt too much
and I really couldn't deal with it. I unfriended you on facebook and stuff
because stupid little pop ups about your life and how you were doing would
literally ruin my day. And I couldn't handle it. I just couldn't handle you
being in my life at all then. Now... well... now...you know what fuck it.”
Jean grabbed Eren's phone off his nightstand and his fingers danced over the
screen. He snorted.
"You still have the same password on your phone?" He asked.
"You still know the password for my phone?"
Jean sighed and didn't deign him with a response to that question.
"Look," Jean said as he typed, "I'm studying abroad next fall, so my Mom wants
me to spend the summer here. "
He tossed Eren's phone to him and it landed on the bed. On the screen Jean had
entered his number, one that was different from the old contact that Eren had
never deleted.
"So... what does this mean?" Eren asked.
"It means I'm an idiot, and you have a lot of convincing to do if you want me
back in your life,” Jean grumbled. “If you make me regret this I will punch you
in the face,” he threatened.
Eren ran his fingers carefully over his phone, saving the change, "You're sure
you don't have time for waffles?" He asked hesitantly.
Jean rubbed the bridge of his nose, "It's twelve - thirty Eren."
"That's what I Hop is for Jean."
Jean looked at him for a long moment and then sighed. He smiled wryly.
"Yeah. Yeah, I have time for waffles."
Chapter End Notes
     *HIGH FIVES EVERYONE* IT'S DONE! AND IT'S NOT SAD!
     I know there are people who won't be completely satisfied by the
     ending but, it seemed right to me and fitting in with the rest of the
     story.
     Sorry I didn't respond to many comments while writing this... most of
     them were questions about the ending and so I was hesitant to answer
     them. But thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read
     this and I honestly hoped you enjoyed it.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!