Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/8059027.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Rape/Non-Con,
      Underage
  Category:
      F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      Frozen_(2013), Homestuck, Star_Wars_-_All_Media_Types, Pirates_of_the
      Caribbean_(Movies), Batman_-_All_Media_Types, Harry_Potter_-_J._K.
      Rowling, The_Lord_of_the_Rings_-_J._R._R._Tolkien
  Relationship:
      Anna/Elsa_(Disney), Rose_Lalonde/Kanaya_Maryam, Darth_Vader/Jack_Sparrow
  Character:
      Anna_(Disney), Elsa_(Disney), Rose_Lalonde, Kanaya_Maryam, Darth_Vader,
      Jack_Sparrow, Donald_Trump, Harry_Potter, Voldemort, Bigfoot, Legolas
      Greenleaf, Batman
  Additional Tags:
      Incest, Sibling_Incest, Politics, Nuclear_Weapons, Nuclear_Warfare, BDSM,
      Mad_Science, Science_Fiction, Romance, War, Original_Mythology,
      Apocalypse, Horcrux_Hunting, Revolution, Murder
  Series:
      Part 2 of The_Babies_Are_Us_Trilogy
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-09-17 Updated: 2016-09-20 Chapters: 8/9 Words: 16659
****** The Babies Are 2 ******
by vriskastrider
Summary
     elsa and anna are prisoners of darth vader and forced to give birth
     to nuclear weapons that threaten the entire world. meanwhile, gunilla
     the NEW queen of ardelia has to deal with bigfoots, long words and
     killing harry potter and voldemort. and theres batman. darth vader
     and gunilla are also pregnent, who will they give birth to???
***** CHAPTER 1: AGGRESSIVELY PREGNENT WITH NUCLEAR WARHEADS *****
CHAPTER 1: AGGRESSIVELY PREGNENT WITH NUCLEAR WARHEADS
(hi this is sequel to my fic the babies are us!!!! pls read it)
(also CONTENT WARNING CONTAINS VIOLENs AND SEX!!!)
gunilla was the queen of ardelia witch you already knew if you read the last
fic. and if u didnt then what the hell are you doing here reading this
SEQUAL??? 1th i probably wont even expalin waht the hell all these ppl and
events are so youll be like CONFUSED AS HELL... 2th youll also get spoilered as
fuck!! SO GO READ THE GOD DAMN STORY CALLED "THE BABIES ARE US!!!" and if you
already did then sorry for wasting ur time with this horse shot
anyway gunilla was the queen of ardelia. you know who she is. the girl with
HUGE BOOBS (radius almost 0.6m) and who is a queen, because elsa and anna
disappeared. and i guess she shaved the kingdom from evil killer sex robots??
thats a good reason to get elected queen imo
but the point is: gunilla, the queen, was sitting at the meeting of GLOBAL
UNION witch is you know a thing where multiple countries discuss their feelings
and stuff. but not literally countries. countries cant talk and they dont even
have feelings so its the queens and presidents and dictators etc who talk! and
gunilla WAS the queen, so she was CORRECT AS FUCK in being there in the first
place.
the room was big. duhh?? i think theres like 50 countries irl, and ARDEALIA
DOESNT EVEN EXIST. so in this realm of fantasy THERE AR EMORE COUNTRIES and
there fore places where the main dudes of countries meet up and discuss their
feelings are p much HUGE AS FUCK (area almost 1000m2). and there was a big
screen witch showed like the STAELITE IMAGE of the WHOLE WORLD. it looked COOL
AS HELL, but was probably p much useless. i mean why not just use a god damn
normal map??? if the thing shows like a big portion of the planet then you can
see NO DETAILS AT ALL.
and like i said there were lots of ppl who lead countries. there was DARH VADER
the EMPEROR OF STARLAND (witch is a country next to ardelia). gunilla decided
to go to talk to DARTH VADER because she is a repsinsobile queen who ACTUALLY
CARES WHAT HAPPENS IN HER COUNTRY AND BY EXTESIION I GUESS COUNTRIES THAT ARE
NEAR HER COuNTRY BECaUESE WHAT HAPPENS IN COUNTRIES NEAR YOU TENDS TO KiND OF
AFFECT WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU. so gunilla went and talked to darth wader.
DARH VADER was dressed in all black. like a goth. but he wasnt hot and his
boobs were p much nonexistant. also he had a helmet witch was out of fashion.
and also he had a COOL AS FUCK LAZER SWORD witch i guess gives him SOME fashion
bonus points.
"hi" gunilla said. "what r we going to discuss today even??" uhh gunilla your
the god damn QUEEN maybe u should know what happens in meetings of the GLOBAL
UNION??
"something EXTREMLY Interesting" darth vader said and breathed OMINIOUSLY AS
HELL. did i mention breathing? because DARTH VADERs things is BREATHING
CREEPILY AS FUCk. nobody knows why. some say he was in an axident and some say
hes just VERY out of shape.
but anyway gunilla didnt have more time to talk with DARk VADER because
PRINCESS ESTRELLA THE QUEEN OF SWEDEN called her. gunilla said ok see u later
and went to talk to PRINCESS ESTREALLA THE QUEEN OF SWEDEN who was much better
person than darth vader. and had bigger boobs. and those 2 things are p much
the same imo
"hey hows ur baby coming along" PRINCESS ESTRELLA THE QUEEN OF SWEDEN axed
gunilla.
"its fine" said gunilla. "i have some minor pains but im not sure why."
"maybe you should axe your husband DR HOUSE why its that way" PRINCESS
ESTREALLA THE QUEEN OF SWEDEN suggested.
"i think its just normal to feel pain when ur having a baby come out of u"
gunilla shrugged. "i mean unless its a magic teleporting baby that sudenly just
teleportes the fuck out of ur tummy but thats just the STUPIDEST THING I HAVE
EVER HEARD."
"i agree lets go the meeting is about to start!!" PRINCESS ESTRELLA THE QUEEN
OF SWEDEN noticed. and they ran to their places. there was a COOL AS FUCK
golden sing that said ARDELIA where gunilla sitted. it was COOL AS HELL. maybe
i should order some golden signs for my royal meetings gunilla wondered
silently.
and then they began talking. about some boring things i guess. like some
countries were at war, and p much non stop SHOOTING THE FUCK out of each other.
but gunilla didnt care because it had been v peaceful since the twin incest
lesbien queens diapeared. during elsas and annas reign the whole country was p
much at CONSTANT THREAT OF NUCLEAR ATTACKS but that couldnt hapen now!! gunilla
thought im p much the BEST AT DIPLOMACY. if diplomacy means not getting your
country EXPLODED THE FUCK OUT OF by some nuclear weapons.
DONOLD TRUMP the KING OF AMERICA banged the fuck out of his gavel witch was a
freudian symbol for his daugter and interrupted the kings of wizardland and
norway, who were punching each other, i guess because their countries were at
war. but honestly that doesnt even do anything... i mean whats the best case
scenario here dudes??? you punch the other king SO HARD that he fucking dies
and then your country wins the war?? think again, dump ass because THEYLL JUST
ELECT ANOTHER KING??
but i mean the point here is that DONLAND TRUMP said: "STOP PUNCHING THE SHIT
OUT OF EACH OTER YO FOOLS!!! LETS CONTINUE DISCUSSING BUILDING WALLS EVERY
WHERE!!!"
but then SOME BODY FUCKING SHOT DONALD TRUMP IN THE FUCKING HEAD!!! EVERY ONE
GASPED AND WAS OVER ALL SURPRISED AS HELL!!!!! WHO COULD IT HAVE BEEN??
"its me" said DARTH VADER the lord of starland. "i killed donaldn trump" he
said and pointed a gun at everybody present "and i will kill the rest of you
unless you all STOP THIS HORSE SHIT AND LET ME TALK"
even the kings of wizardland and norway stopped their honestly TOTALLY
UNECESARY battle.
DARTH vADER walked to the place where DONALND TRUMPS BODY was and kicked his
orange corpse away.
"NOW" DARTH BADER SAID "we can start discussing something REALLY IMPORTANT."
everybody was quiet. witch was a good thing since other wise DARTH VADER would
probably have just killed them all.
"heres the thing" LORD DARTH VADER said. "you are going to WITH OUT RESISTANCE
give me COMPLETE CONTROL OF THE KING DOM OF ARDELIA-"
gunilla gasped.
"- OR I WILL FUCKING END YOU ALL YOU MISREABLE PIECES OF SHIT WITH NUCLEAR
WARHEADS!!"
"lol u wouldnt really" said HARRY POTTER the KING OF WIZARDLAND. "lol the whole
point of nucluar weapons is that u dont use them u fucking idiot"
"FINE if You DON NOT BELIEVE ME" said DARTH VADER "THEN I SHALL DEMOSTRATE!!"
every body just laughed because what HARRY PITTER THE KING OF WIZARDLAND just
said was p much the truth.
DARTH VADER pressed a red button that was next to him. nothing happened... and
then nothing happened... and then nothing almost happened but what instead
happened was that in the big screen THE WHOLE COUNTRY OF SWEDEN JUST EXPLODED.
PIRNCESS ESTREALLA THE QUEEN OF SWEDEN began to cry because she had just become
just ESTRELLA. you p much cant be a queen if your whole country BLOWS THE FUCK
UP.
"you" said DARTH VADER and pointed at gunilla "shall make me the sole ruler of
ardelia in SEVEN DAYS or else... wait fuck i just showed you what im going to
do to everybody so SEE YOU LATER NOOBS"
suddenly THE WALL EXPLODED AND EVERYONE SCREAMED as a HUGE FUCKING CAR BURSTED
INTO THE ROOM. it was a red car with flame markings witch is universal code for
"FAST AS FUCK". DARTH VADER jumped into the car and rode away.
every one was p much v shocked. except estrella who was crying. gunilla ran to
her and began to kiss her pasionately because she was good at diplomacy.
"HEY GUnilla" harry potter screamed.
"CANT YOU SEE IM KIND OF BYSY??" gunila screamed and tore her cloths off. and
also estrellas cloths off.
"i just wanted to tell" hary potter said "that unless you do what DARTH VADER
KING O STARLAND does i will also promise to NUCLEAR BOMB the FUCK out of your
sorry ass."
"that wont do shit because DARTH VADER would already had destroyed the whole
world" gunilla said annoyedly and began sexxing estrella because she was very
good at diplomacy. she inserted her vag into estrellas mouth and began shaking
sexily and passionateily.
and mean while everybody left expect those who were too distracted by HOT
LESBIEN SEX. but after some time they left too.
after gunilla and estrealla finished sexxing both of them began to cry.
"fuck fuck FUCKS HSIT GOD DAMN" gunilla sweared and cried. "I DONT WANT TO GIVE
MY COUNTRY TO DARTH VADER WHAT THE HELL CAN I DO??"
estrella didnt answer she just cried some more.
"come" gunila said suddenl.y
"huh i already did" estrella sniffed confusedly.
"not in that way GOD" gunilla said angrily. "lets go to ardelia i must do
something!!"
and they ran away.
---
SOME TIME BEFORE THE PRECEEDING EVENTS TOOK PLACE...
DARTH VADER was sitting on his EVIL THRONE. before the GLOBAL UNION meeting you
know. the one u just read about?
suddenly his ROYAL EVIL SCIENTIST who was DR CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW came.
"what can i do for you today my lord" DR CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW axed. "shall i
prepare a pirate boat for your GLOBAL UNION meeting today?"
"no i think a car will be fine" darth vader said "because THE MEETING IS ON
LAND YOU FUCKING IDIOT. prepare my best car"
"k" said DR CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW.
"but wait theres more" said DARTH VADER. "use your EVIL PIRATE SCIENCE to
prepare the first nuclear warhead today"
DR CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW gulped. "that will be dificult my lord but i will try"
"EXCELLANT" said DARH VADER. "show me my wonderful warhead creating machines"
"as you wish my lord" said DR CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW and lead darth vader into
some generic evil laboratory. there were uhh evil sciencey things like test
tubes with unidentifieable babies insine. and i guess... shark pits?? and
lava?? wait, LAVA SHARK PITS thats COOL AS HELL.
and the sharks can also shoot lazers.
but LASER SHOOTING LAVA SHARK PITS was not what LORD DARH VADER wanted to see
today. jack lead his king next to a room that had a sign that said:
"CONFIDENTAL AS HELL DO NOT ENTER UNLESS YOU ARE DR CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW AND
SLASH OR DARTH VADER"
darth vader began to laugh evilly as the door opened because something EVIL AS
HELL was about to happen.
and inside the room there were TWO TABLES and on them were tied... ELSA AND
ANNA!!
"HAHAHAHAAHAHAHHHSHAGHAHHAHAHHHHAHHAAHAHAHAHHHAHHAAHHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHH"
DARTH VADER LAUGHED. "now, my beautiful lesbien birthers... YOU SHALL... GIVE
BIRTH... TO NUCLEAR WARHEADS!!!"
dr capt JACK SPARROW pressed a red button.
elsa and anna screamed in pain... as HUGE NUCLREAR WARHEADS BURSTED OUT OF
THEIR VAGS.
NEXT CHAPTER: HOW ARE ELSA AND ANNA ALIVE?? WHAT WILL GUNILLA DO?? AND WHO IS
GUNILLAS BABY?? AND WILL THE WORLD BE DESTROYED??
***** CHAPTER 2: DARTH VADER PREGNENT??? *****
CHAPTER 2: DARTH VADER PREGNENT???
when gunilla and PRINCESS ESTRELLA THE FORMER QUEEN OF SWEDEN returned to
ardelia they immediately called a ROYAL COUNCIL MEETING OF ARDELIA into
existance. mean while the whole fucking world was kind of epxloding into panic
and stuff since darth vader had threatened to nuke the entire world.
"whare the hell are the ROYAL MINISTERS OF ARDEALIA" angered gunilla. time
travel is canon sooo they dont really have an exceuse. i mean being late is
kind of im possible i u can time travel??? JUST TIME TARVEL TO THE PAST DUMb
ASS
"my endeared queen i have disembarked at the most stupendous concievable
precipitancy" said ROSE LALANDE the new head wizard because dumledore the old
head wizard had disappeared. and uhhh i guess shes an IMIGRANT or some thing
because more wizords during the last story would kind of have changed some
thigns so DUNNO.
"the very same whereabouts additionally applies to me" said KANYA MARYAM the
MINISTER OF FASHION. whose job was to make sure fashion was ok in the kingdom.
"IM GETTING OLDER EVERY DAY AND HAVE TO WALK WITH A CANE" screamed dr house the
MINISTER OF MEDICINE. "FUCK MY LIFE SHIT ASSSSS"
"calm down" said gunilla "i was maybe just worried THAT THE FUCKING WORLD WAS
GOING TO END YOU KNOW???"
estrella was still crying in the corner. i guess having ur whole country
sudenly blow up kind of creates emotions.
"but now since ur all here lets decide what the hell to do" said gunilla. "ok
option 1. surender and handle ardelia over to DARTH VADER. not gonna happen any
other ideaS???"
"FUCKING KILL THEM WITH WEAPANS" shouted dr house. "WAR!!!"
"good idea" said gunilla. "uhh who are our allies again. i mean swedens totally
blown the fuck up.... uhh..... wizardland?? rose how r our relations with
wizardland"
"the king of wizardland whom is apellated harry potter happens to anathematize
us due to an indecorous memorandum sent by you, encompassing the locution 'SUCK
MY WAND (WAND MEANS PENIS)'" said rose lalande.
"oh wait" gunilla said and laughed. "fuck this still was worth it anyways how
could we change his mind"
estrella stoped crying and began giggling. "hehe gunilla dont act like u dont
know the best thing for international relations"
"u mean.... HOT SEX???"
"yeah"
"hmmmmm", gunilla said thoughtfully. "ill get to it. the rest of u can figure
out what else to do to get our military prepared as fuck"
and she immediately ran to the ROYAL ARDELIA SEXCOPTER.
"what a humdinger state of affairs, having to chaperone the commonwealth whilst
our queen vamooses to undertake royal intercourse", wondered rose lalande.
"indubutably", agreed kanaya. then they kissed passionately and lesbianely,
because they got gril boners from long words.
"the whole worlds still fucked i think im gonna return to crying" cried
PRINCESS ESTRELLA and returned to crying.
"FUCK CRYING" screamed dr house whose anger had only grown more prominent with
age, like the taste of fine wine. "IM GOING TO CALL A ROYAL EXPERT WHO CAN GIVE
US AN ARMY OF......."
every one was quitet dramatically.
"BIGFOOTS"
---
back in starland where darth vader lived, darth vader returned from the meeting
of GLOBAL UNION.
"how did the nukes work" he demanded from dr cap jack sparrow. they were
sitting in vaders EVIL ROYAL THRONE ROOM, witch was a big room with a big black
throne that was built from dead babies.
"fantastically" joyed dr captain jack sparrow. "as the baby legend foretold,
they were PRECIES AS FUCK and managed to destroy excactly only sweden and
nothing else. i went to check and there was like a BUG FUCKING HOLE that was
ENDLEESLLY DEEP it was COOL AS FUCK and KIND OF FRIGHTNING"
"execllent" said DARTH VADER. "if it hadnt been so shooting a fucking nuke just
next to the country we want to invade would kind of have been a mistake but
luckily it wasnt"
"so whats next" axed dr captn jack sparrow "r we going to double nuke
production or do some thing else? i mean ardelias royalty isnt stupid theyre
just gonna hand the country over to you"
"if theres one thing i will never doubt" answered lord king darth vader "its
the ENDLESS FUCKING STUPIDITY OF EVERY BODY THAT LIVES IN THAT SHIT HOLE
COUNTRY. trust me i have FIRST HAND EXPERICNE. but finally i will HAVE MY
REVENGE AHAHAAAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAYHHAAHHAHAGAHGAHAH½!!!!!!"
"but... so more nukes???" confirmed dr captn jack sparrow.
"yeah" said darth vader. "and if ardelias royalty is even stupider than i can
dream we can just creata a NUCLEAR POWERED ARMY OF BABIES my dear nukebirthers
can give us. legends say production rate is at 1000 babbys/min."
"wow" said dr capt jack sparow. "those grils really are the best at birthing
the world has seen."
so dr captn jack sparrow went back to the SECRET ROOM where elsa and anna were
enslaved and fed them more uranium to make them give birth to more nukes. he
was humming casually and thinking about all the sex he was going to have with
DARTH VADER.... maybe they would finally get lucky and have a REAL heir to the
throne...
suddenly DARTH VADER ran in!!! and was crying!! BUT NOT OF PAIN AND SADNESS,,,
BUT OF HAPPINES!!!
"DOCTOR CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW" darth vader cried "IM PREGNANT"
---
mean while in ardelia dr houses royal advisor had already arrived. he was a man
with a moustache.
"hi every body im BARY ANDERSON" said BARTY ANDERSON. "did u know that the yeti
can give birbth to 6 babies every minute?? today we are going to"
"SHUT UP BARY" dr house screamed. "i mean. this is my friend BARTY ANDERSON
whose FUCKING GOING TO GET US A ROYAL ARMY OF BIGBFOOTS AND YETIS AND ALL THE
MYSTICAL CREATURE THINGS."
barty anderson presed a button on his phone and a real fucking creepy music
started playing.
"hes a legend who has hosted over 90000000 shows on huntihng yetis" dr house
said "but at some point he died and was replaced by a iBARTYDROID who can
unfortunately only do his job of hosting tv shows."
"wait what r we going to do today anyway" axed barty aanderson. "oh fuck i
forgot wheres the script"
"today is a VERY SPECIAL EPOSIDE" said dr house. "we are going to... FIND ALL
OF THE FUCKING BIBGFOOS"
"HOLY SHIT" said barty anderson. "ALL of them?? we better go out fast folks"
"i am incredulous to the consummation of this stratagem" said rose lalande but
decided to follow barty anderson and dr house outside anyways.
---
gunillas ROYAL SEXCOPTER was FAST AS FUCK so it took p much NO TIME for her to
get to wizardland. it was a big country with all sorts of wizard castles and
other magic things. harry potter lived in HOGWORTS witch was a BIG WIZARD
CASTLE (area almost 60000km2).
"hey i was waiting for u" said harry potter when gunillas royal sexcopter
landed on the roof of hogworts.
"thats strange" said gunilla suspicously. "how did you even know"
"uhhhhh magic bro??" said harry potter. "anyways, lets go to the royal
discussion room."
and they went to the royal discussion room. hogworts had MAGIC STAIRS witch
moved around magically and p much uselessly. i mean why not just STAY THERE u
god dman stupid stairs?? ppl who cant magic have designed houses in witch all
places can be accessed FOR LIKE FOREVER.... its NOT THAT HARD... and also,
cause the stairs fucking move all the time, how can you even go anywhere??? do
the stairs do whatever u want?? ok but what if u are there with 100 other ppl
who want to go to other places?? MAGIC STAIRS FUCKING SUCK AND HERES A WARNING:
DONT GO NEAR MAGIC STAIRS.
but gunilla and harry potter WENT NEAR TO MAGIC STAIRS LIKE FUCKING IDITOS
because i guess they cant read the narrative.
"this doesnt look like a discussion room" said gunilla because the room didnt
look like a discussion room. and that was because it was a jail, witch had bars
and everything.
"and that is...." said harry potter dramatically.... "BECASUE IT ISNT"
and HARRY POTTER PUNSHED GUNILLA TO HER FUCKING FACE AND KNOCKED HER THE HELL
OUT!!!! H O LYS SHITT!!!!!!
NEXT CHAPTER: WHAT HAPPENS TO GUNILLA??? CAN ARDELIAN DUDES FIND BIGFOOTS???
AND WHO IS DARTH VADERS BABY??
***** CHAPTER 3: GUNILLAS PRISON ESCAPE *****
CHAPTER 3: GUNILLAS PRISON ESCAPE
when gunilla woke up she had likea HUGE AS FUCK pain in her head (size almost 6
pain units). it was dark and the wHOLE WORLD WAS SPINNING witch how ever was
because of being hit in head. i mean things would be p serious if the WHOLE
WORLD was spinning.
and she was in the jail witch is a place for criminals BUT SHE DEFNITELY WASNT
ONE SO WTF?? the jail was dark and dirty. and there were bodies of dead
criminals next to gunilla but they only had bones and not other things that
make living beings work.
"what the FUCK" said gunilla disgustedly.
"heheheheheh" some one laughed evilly and when gunilla looked it was HARRY
POTTER THE KING OF WIZARDLAND!!
"GET ME OUT OF HERE" gunilla screamed. "seriouslay im at least 60% sure theres
BETTER PLACES TO DO SOME ROYAL DISCUSION IN THAN DIRTY PRISONS"
"no you dumb fuck" harry potter said and stopped laughing. "your my prisoner
now dude"
"WHAT Why the hell??"
"dont you rembeber the letter you sent me?" axed harry potter. "guess what.
WIZRARD CULTURES ISNT A JOKE and im NOT going to tolerate some body make fun of
wizords. there fore ROT IN JAIL while ur stupid ass country gets nucleared by
DARTH VADER."
"so are you with DARTH AVADER you EVIL ASS HOLE" screamed gunilla "you IDIOT
dont pretend like hes not going to take over the WHOLE WORLD after geting
ardelia!!"
"how would getting to rule a shit country help at all lol" laughed harry potter
"and anyways no.... im just here for REVENGE"
and then he laughed more evilly like this
"AHAHHAAHAAHHHAAHAHAHAHAAJAAJAHAHAAHHA" and left and slammed the door so hard
it almost broke.
and gunilla was left alone in the jail!!! not counting skeletonis. i mean u
shouldnt really count skeletons... they arent ppl, sorry skeleton activits. i
mean thers like a real DEFININIOTN OF LIFE and it goes like to b alive u must b
able to repodusce etc and sorry skeletons but i have never seen skeletons
having sex and birthing babyes?? so NO SKELETONS ARENT ALIVE END OF STORY and
there fore skeletons arent people. at least there arent gohsts in this
narrative so that the queastion WHETHER NOT ALIVE SENTININT THINGS ARE PEOPLE
doesnt need to be adressed.
"fuuucccckkkk....." gunilla fucked to her self and rubbed her head. that ass
hole harry potter could have used magics to knock her out instead of his fists.
dude not cool.
gunilla checked to see if she still had her things, like a ROYAL PHONE witch
could be used to call help. but no!! harry potter had taken them all away. what
the HELL was she going to do now??
"hey gurl..." said a THREATENING VOICE in the back side of the jail. gunilla
looked there and it was LORD VOLDEMORT!!!!! "wanna build a rebellion and crush
harry potters dumb ass wizard regime??"
"hmm" wondered gunilla. "that would probs help me get out of jail"
"yes its true" agreed lord voldemort. "if i get chosen as king of wizardland
ill make sure to make a law that gunilla cant be inprisoneds"
"fantastic im in" said gunilla. "ok then how the hell r we going to rebel?? i
mean im at least 70% sure that ur in jail too"
"hahahahahahaah" lord voldemort laughed evilly. "harry potter the dumb ass
didnt even make u go through BURAUCRACIES and JURIDYCAL SYSTEMS so no body
knows that ur even in jail!! hehehe there fore NOBODY WILL STOP YOU WHEN YOU GO
AND give harry potter THESE"
lord voldemort gave gunilla some brightly colored boxes. in the darkness of the
prison gunilla had some troubles seeing what they were... but it looked like
they were video games like TONY HAWOK PRO SKATER 3 and SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF
THE MOIVE OFFICAL LICSENSED VIDYO GAME.
"uhh what are some god damn games going to do" axed gunilla sceptically. "do u
like mean that harry potter will be so distracted by some HOT GAMES that he
wont even notice when u conquer the whole king dom"
"no" facepalmed lord voldemort "theyre magic games now go and give him them"
and he magic teleported gunilla out of jail.
---
mean while in starland elsa and anna continued to be tied up (witch was kind of
hot tbh but unfortunately they were too far from each other to sexx) and also
continued to give birth to nuclear warheads witch was obviously P PAINFUL but
both of the were masochits so they only got more turned on. but it only cuased
them more pain because they couldnt fulfill their sexual urges. witch only
caused them more pain, and, so on.
in the room there was a HUGE SIGN (size almost 4m2) that said !!!HUGE
DANGER!!!! SEX OVERDRIVE: 98%!!!
elsa and anna knew that it meant thta they were getting too turned on to almost
get magic powers and escape.
"we need to get out of here" whispered elsa "pls focus on sexy thoughts anna"
anna nodded and cried witch only caused more sex thoughsts to elsa because she
was also a sadist. and then elsa focused on sEXXY THINGS like knifes and boobes
and more knifes and chain saws and swords and guns and nuclear warheads that
were all stabbing and killing her...
!!!SEX OVERDRIVE: 99%!! said the screen. usually a dumbg captain scientist
called dr captn jack sparrow came and took his cloths off to reset the counter
to 0% when elsa and anna got too close to orgamsing and escaping.
elsa knew that she couldnt get her self any more turned on and sighed.
"i cant get my girl boner any higher" sighed anna too. "elsa the last time i
checked you were some kind of wizard so pls just use any bull shit magic power
you just made up to help us escape"
"well the problem is DARTH VADER hasnt let me pratice my magics in a long time"
elsa sighed "the only magic thing i can do is see what any body in the world is
doing and that wont help us escape"
"can u view me and try to orgagsm" suggested anna. it wasnt a bad suggestion.
elsa magic viewed anna and focused on her HUGE BOBS and BAUTIFUL SMILE and
INCESTUAL RELATIONSHIPS and HUGE VAG and...
but the screen only said !!SEX OVERDRIVE 99,3%!!
"THATS FUCKING BULL SHIT" screamed elsa and cried. "THE GOD DAMN SCREEN DIDNT
EVEN SHOW DECIMALS BEFORE"
"elsa dont give up" anna cried too "who other is sexxxy in this universe except
us??"
"uhh kind of nobody" said elsa
"k i give u that thats p much true" shrugged anna "but what about GUNILLA??"
elsa thought about it for a minute. it was certainly true that gunilla had HUGE
BOOBS and other attributes that good looking ppl often had.
"ok ill try to magic view gunilla..." said elsa and tried to magic view
gunilla. but WHAT THE HELL?!?! GUNILLA WAS IN A PRISON OF SOME KINED?? holy
shit thats BDSM as FUCK and bdsm is like elsas favorite thing.
"ohohahohohohohohaohoaoahooooahaohhghgghhhhhhhhhhh" elsa screamed.
!!SEX OVERDRIVE: 666%!!! said the screen. anna also orgamsed in joy but uhhh
anna that doesnt help any more you are already getting out...
but anyways their shackles were BURNED OFF by the POWER OF LESBIEN INCESTUAL
BDSM LOVE. elsa and anna wasted no time and immediately began sexxing each
other. anna put her hair into elsas vag and elsa put her hands into annas mouth
and anna put her foot in her own vag. and then they shaked until both orgamsed
6 times.
"NOW" said elsa and used the ardelian ancient magic of birthing weapons to
birth a knife for both her and anna "i suggest we make DARTH VADER meet my best
friend who is a KNIFE!!!!"
---
mean while in ardelia barty anderson rose lalnode kanya maryam and dr house
were hunting some big foots.
"how disadvtantageous it is to circumnutate in this woodland, for no bigfoots
have we scrutinized" sighed rose lalonde. and it was kind of true. NO BIGFOOTS
AT ALL tho it shouldnt really be that surprising. i mean... if big foots were
easy to find wouldnt they juts be normal animals, instead of magic animals??
"there are 3 steps to succesfully finding bigfoots" said barty anderson "1th
leave a bait of some kind, like a dead baby or small animal 2st go to ur car
and honk ur horn 3 times slowly and 2 times VERY FAST 3st go inspect the bait
and if theres no big foots well in that case you just have to offer better bait
like maybe go to the store and buy some deluxe dead babies"
"WE COULD USE GUNILLAS BABY" screamed dr house angrily. "IF SHE WAS THERE!!!
FUCK!!!"
"but gunillas papoose is not cadaverous" said rose lalonde. "have you not
probed her tenement extensively, for you are a practitioner?"
"fuck i dont EVEN KNOW WHAT THOSE WORDS MEAN" angered dr house. "seriously AM I
THE ONLY ONE HERE?? ?FUCK EVERYTHING"
"in this regard you are unaccompanied" said kanaya "i have no tribulation
apprehending roses scuttlebutts, no matter how diffusive they insinuate to be"
and then rose and kanyan began to have sex, because they got girl boners when
long word were said.
"SSHHHHH THE FUCK UP" said barty anderson suddenly. "do you see?? THERES A BIG
FOOT THERE!!!"
and it was true, or kind of true. it was a big hairy brown thing that was
walking on foot. but that could mean like almost 3 things:
1) big foot
2) chewbaca
3) man in big foot costume
"anyways" said barty anderson. "when u see a bigfoot, thers one important rule.
to get the respect of the bigfoot, you must cahllenge it to a dual. and kill
it. then other bigfoots will do whatever you want. ok who wants to duel???"
"FUCK I CAN BAARELY WALK im not gonna BASH A FUCKING BIG FOOT TO THE FUCKING
HEAD WITH MY CANE" screamed dr house.
"in that contingency i can volition to clamor the prodigiouspad" said rose
lalonde and drew her wand. "en garde, you incongruous baboon, varmint of
unreality or personage in ensemble"
NEXT CHAPTER: ROSE VS BIGFOOT!!! CAN ELSA AND ANNA KILL DARTH VADER AND
ESCAPE??? AND CAN GUNILLA KILL HARRY POTTER AND ESCAPE???
***** CHAPTER 4: STRIFE 3X COMBOB: ROSE LALANDE VS BIG FOOT & ELSA AND ANNA VS
DARH VADER & GUNILLA AND VOLDEDORT VS HARY POTTER *****
CHAPTER 4: STRIFE 3X COMBOB: ROSE LALANDE VS BIG FOOT & ELSA AND ANNA VS DARH
VADER & GUNILLA AND VOLDEDORT VS HARY POTTER
gunilla was running around harry potters castle. and it was kind of hard
findign hary potter, because ,the castle was HUGE AS FUCK (volume almost
1000m3). seriously, nearly every body in these stupid ass stories has a TOO
LARGE CASTLE TO BE EVEN REMOTELY PRACTICAL. what good are large castles
anyways?? i mean 1nd) catsles that big take almost ALL SPACE IN THE GOD DAMN
COUNTRY. 2rd) what activities even require a catle thats big, no, thats insane
3st) the fucking country goes bankyrupt if taxes are used to care for the
buildings.
but when gunilla ran and ran around the catsle she figrue dout there must be an
additional reason: if castles are big then assassasins like her cant find the
king of the catsle... thats actualy p smart. so MAYBE big catsles ARENT so
uselsss after all?? if ur mom refuses to give u momey for buyign HUGE AS HELL
castles (because shes secretly mad that u looked at elsanna pix) just tell her
that.
gunilla was already getting hopeless but then she saw HARRY POTTER!!! gunilla
was on top of some staris and harry potter was on the lower part.
"how did u escape the fucking jail??" harry axed astonishedly. "o wait. it
doesnt matter, because, IM GOING TO PUT YOU BACK TO THE SLAMMER!!!"
and he began RUNNING UP THE STAIRS!!! just a tip, please dont run up the
stairs. if u fall u will possibly fucking die, especially if this running up
stairs thing happens in huge castles like hogworts in which the stairs are
MAGIC and ACTUALLY EXIST IN HUGE PITS OF VOID, MOVING AROUND AND MAKING IT AT
LEAST 90% SURE THAT SOME BODY FALLS DOWN THE STAIRS AND DIES EVERY YEAR.
gunilla was hlepless, because she wasnt magic unlike elsa and anna. maybe that
is why the last queens were magic??? i mean magic is p useful if u are aboubt
to get assassisnated the hell out of u. but anyways, theng gunilla remembered
what LORD VOLDEDORT had given her...
... some MAGICAL VIDEO GAMES!!! WITCH COULD SAVE THE SITUATION..... WITH
MAGIC!!!
"hey HAIRY POTTER take these" gunilla screamed and throwed the games at harry
potter, king of wizardland. thats a good tip also. becaus e people will for
some reason just grab things u throw at them. so, if some times u want to kill
sb, maybe throw them some lava or other kinds of deudly shit.
was GAMES the thing that was deudly shit? gunilla though when she realized p
much the same thing i just said and though it may have been vodemorts
intention.
hary potter was shocked and... BEGAN TO FALL DOWN THE STAIRS!!!!
"OH FFUCK" he screamed when he realized that the games were actually magic
piece of shit games that made u fall down stairs. AND the stairs in hogworts
were P MUCH THE DANGEROUSEST STAIRS IN EXISTENCE!!!
harry pottters head hit the stair and exploded into gore. his legs hit the
stair and flew across in an arc. his arms hit the stair and were torn asunder.
his body hit the stairs and was crushed into an unrecognizable mess.
"well done" laughed lord volderot evilly behind gunilla. "NOW i rule
wizardland!! ha hah ahhahaHAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHNHSASHHAHSHHHAHAHZ"
"NOT SO FAST!!!" scremaed harry potter and MAGICED HIMSELF BACK TO LIFE. "i
should have executed you when i had the chance..."
"witch one" axed gunilla
"no the wizard one" said harry potter "or wait actually killing both of u
sounds like the better plan. but. anyways PREPARE TO DIE YOU FOOLS!!!"
it began raining and thundering dramatically, witch was kind of stupid because
they were IN A HOUSE...? but the again, MAGIC. magic is the best thing to have
in stories. i mean seriously ANYTHING will AND CAN happen and ur readers will
buy it like a bunchs of suckers. (dont tell anybody i said that!! hehehe)
but anyways lord voldedort raised his wand. and gunilla raised her boobs witch
were the best equivalents of weapons she had since they could at least make
some distracted by HUGE BOOBES.
"REX EXECUTIUM!!" screamed lord voldedort and fired a HUGE SPELL (radius almost
3m) that was filled with GREEN ENERGY and FLEW INTO HARRY POTTER.
"ooaahhhh fffuuuck!!!" harry screamed as he was hit by the spell and FUCKING
MURDERED.
"thanks for helping" said lord voldedort to gunilla. "you are now free to go."
"thanks" said gunilla "always happy to show my boobes and slash or kill the
leaders of other countreis. thats diplomacy bro. uhh by the way the thing i was
originally going to axe harry potter was... do u want to help me in a war
against starland??"
"why is there a war" voldedort axed. "sorry i was in FUCKING PRISON and
wizardland doesnt have news papers. i guess we just use magic but my wand was
taken from me and it was magiced to only come back when harry potter dies. for
some reason"
"oh", said gunilla. "i understand i never read the news either but anyways
DARTH VADER is planning to go nuclear on the WHOLE WORLD, FUCKING DESTROYING
EVERYTHING. iff i do not give him the control of ardelia.... but id rather not
do that. so war time it is!! u in or not?"
"hmm" said lord voldedort. "on the other hand i like war but on the other hand
i also like the whole world being destroyed. sorry bro im out"
"ok then" gunilla sighed and walked back to the royal sexcopter. the royal
meeting had been kind of a fucking disaster but at least she was alive.
but when she saw the helicopter there was also another thing...... a BABBY!!!
---
"LET US WITHSTAND!!" screamed rose lalande at the bigfoot. it was the sixth big
foot, after four men in big foot costumes and one chewbacca. but at least this
one seemed real and it didnt even sceram "help dont kill me im not a real
bigfoot!!" unlike the others but it could have been a ruse so rose had killed
them anyways.
"so u think u can defeat a big foot???" screamed the bigfoot. "WELL THEN THINK
AGAIN!!!"
and when the leader big foot said that SIX MILLION BIGFOOTS SUDDENLY APPEARED
BEHIND THE TREES AND ROCKS AND OTHER NATURE THINGS NEAR BY!!!!
"this is suggestive of the deleterious" whispered rose lalande to her gf kanya
maryam.
"quite irrevocable" she agreed.
mean while behind them bigfoots killed the fuck out of DR HOUSE and ROBOT BARTY
ANDERSON.
"AAAAAAAHHHHH" dr house screamed.
"i am a robot and there fore feel no pain" said barty. "but i do recognize that
this situation is bad so AAAAHHHHH"
and then they fucking died.
"the ballgame has emerged as even aggrandizedly unmitigable" whispered kanya.
"esteemed commodioushoof" said rose how ever "it is congenial that you
extirpated two of my compatriots."
"why??" wondered the leader big foot.
"because this symmetrizes the amphitheater" replied rose and drew her wand.
kanya drew her chain saw.
the leader big foot ROARED and JUMPED at rose and kanaya with his SHAR AS FUCK
CLAWS. the other 6 million big foots also did the same thing, but because there
were only two of rose and kanaya, it was p much useles. like 6 big foots were
even able to reach and attack the long word girls.... so what even is the
point??? btw this is also a good thing in magic, because the useless dudes can
just do some magic dumb spells that power the fuck out of the others.
but anyways rose screamed "KILL BIGFOOT!!" and a HUGE PURPLE BEAM shot from her
wand. it hit the leader big foot RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FACE and he fell down
crying.
"you are discomfitured" said rose "retrograde or go way of all flesh!!"
but the big foot was MERELY PRETENDING TO BE DEAD!!!! it JUMPED AT KANAYA AND
SLASHED THE HELL OUT OF HER!!! kanya screamed "aaaahhhh" and flew back wartsds.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" scramed rose and EXPLODED INTO A FIERY RAGE EXPLOSION OF
DEATHLY RAGE MAGIC THAT FLEW AROUND AND FUCKING KILLED MILLIONS OF BIGFOOTS!!!
INCLUDING THE LEADER BIGFOOT!!!!!!!
rose ran to the place where kanyas corpse had flown and cried flaming tears
that killed more big foots.
"my paramour has been annihilated" cried rose. "what inducement do i have to
abide??"
and she drew her wand and put it next to her head, kind of like u do with guns
when u want to fucking kill urself. but with a wand isted of a gun.
"ROSE TARRY!!!" kanaya screamed. "I WAS ONLY HOODWINKED TO BE UNANIMATED TO
EMBOLDEN YOUR THAUMATURGY!!!"
but it was TOO LATE!!! rose screamed "MAGIC SUICIDE HELL" and a BIG BEAM OF
BLOOD BURST OUT OF HER WAND, EXPLODING HER HEAD.
kanya began to cry. it was just like in hamlets.
"i guess ur the leade of big foots now" said one big foot. "what do we do"
"magnificent" cried kanaya. "i spiel... SPOLIATE THIS ACREAGE!! MISLAY NO
PNEUMA COGNIZANT!!"
"what" axed the bigoot.
"i mean" sniffed kanaya..... "FUCKING KILL EVERYTHIGNG AND EVERYONE!!"
---
"now lets find darth vader" whispered elsa to anna. they walked out of the
elsanna nuclera birth room and founda BIG hall full of all kinds of evil stuff.
like white cats. and suspicous goatees. and nuclear weapons that they had just
birthed before.
"cant we just go" whipsered anna who was spooked by all the evil things. "i
mean im p sure that darth vader DOESNT have evil tracking stuff on us"
"NO anna" said elsa angrily . "i want answers. like how the hell are we alive
if elsa and ana the twin lesbien queen incests of ardelia just died???"
"hmm" wondered anna. "thats a p good question. but can we first at least find
doridtoes and pan cakes???"
"fine" said elsa "lets go find darth vaders kitchen."
luckily they saw a sign that said "THIS WAY TO DARTH VADERS KITCHEN." so they
went that way and found... DARTH VADERS KITCHEN. they checked the fridge and
there were pan cakes, dead babbies and doridtos. anna decided to eat the
doridtsos and pan cakes while elsa consumed the babies. to get magic bbay
energy, witch would be useful in a battle.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!" laughed some one evilly. the queens turned back wards and
IT WAS DARTH DADER!!! "I KNEW THAT PACKING MY KITCHEN WITH FOOD ITEMS SO DEAR
TO YOU WOULD LEAD TO THIS, IN CASE YOU ESCAPED!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
elsa and anna drew their knifes. "anserws or i KILL YOU" hissed elsa.
"fine then" said darth vader and drew his lazersword. "what do you wish to
know??"
"HOW THE HELL DO WE EXIST IF THE REAL ELSA AND ANNA ARE DEAD???" demanded anna.
"elementary, my dear anna" said darth vader. "you are clones"
elsa and anna gasped.
"and how the HELL did u get our dna???" axed elsa.
"even simpler. i stole it when u were babies."
"and... how did u GET NEAR ROYAL BABIES???"
darth vader laugheds. "that is the most simplest thing of all... it was
because.... I! AM! YOUR! FUCKING!!! FATHER!!!!!!"
NEXT CHAPTER: WHO IS GUNILLAS BABY?? WHO IS THE BABY IN GUNILLAS HELICOPTER??
WHO IS DARH VADERS BABY?? WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BABIES??
***** CHAPTER 5: DARH VADERTS EVIL PLAN IS REVEAL!?!? *****
CHAPTER 5: DARH VADERTS EVIL PLAN IS REVEAL!?!?
so. what even was hapening in this story, wait, soo gunilla was walkind to the
ROYAL SEXCOPTEr and saw a baby there on the ground. her 1nd though was probs
some thing like "how the hell is their even a baby on the roof??" and to b
honest thats a perfectly fine 1rd thougt for seeing a baby on the roof. cause
babies are fuckingt stupid and will crawl off roofs and die, and the roof of
HOGWRORTS witch was hary pitters castle (and now lord voderdorts i guess) was
PRETTY FUCKING HIGH.... i mean not eating maryjuana but instead high, like the
height not the drugs.
and the 2st though was probably somet hing like "why does the baby look like
hary potter??" but tbh thats a STUPID FUCKING THOUGHt. like gunilla i know ur
some time stupid but guess what theres a reason a baby looks like its parent...
i mean genetics and shit. AND the most prominent birth givers of ardelia (by
witch i mean elsa and anna) uhh... they birthed babies that looked EXACTYL like
the other one. but i guess from that gunilla would guess that babies look like
some random other people?? well then shes just fucking dumb because a) shes
pregnent HER SELF and b) her husband who is now RIPped in peace is a GOTDAMND
DOCTORS...
... wait fuck. i gotta rant about this thing now. WHY DO ELSA AND ANNA GIVE
BIRTH T OEACH OTHER, WITCH IS like the whole premise of this stupud story but
it doesnt make ANY SENSE. i guess their father is DARTH VADERS, if he isnt
lying, but tbh DARH VADER is prob the FATHEREST FATHER IN POPULAR CULTURE tbh
its p much confirmed that hes their actual father. witch means that darh vader
has sexx w elsa and she births anna, and then he has sex with anna and she
births elsa. but how the fuck is that even possible???? annas parents are darh
vaeder and elsa. elsas parents are darrth vader and anna. the ONLY way this
makes ANY sense is that elsa and anna are geneticaly identical. or, can it
work?? i dont know. HEY IF YOU KNOW HOW THIS SHITS WORKS PLZ HIT ME UP AT
alexandarstubbp@gmail.com THANK!!!
but the point here is that gunilla saw a baby, a point witch is reached afther
three fucking wall of text paragraps. i guess the morale here is, that some
time when u write storyes u just HAVE to begin ranting about how the story
fucking doesnt make any sense. at least if the story is good and intresting
enoug to have details that make no sense so FACK YOU HATERS!!!!
but anyways theres gunilla and a baby. and the baby looked like fuckin hary
potter.
"what" wondered gunilla. "how come theres a baby that looks like harry potter.
srsly is this just magics or....?"
"no you ididot" siad the baby "you dont need magics to normally give birth,
GOD"
"sory for axing" answered gunilla diplomaticalyl because she didnt want to
insult some random baby on the roof. "then i guess the questien is that, who
are you, baby?"
"you stutid fuck ass hole i am HEDWING POTTER and i am HARRY POTTERS SON"
hedwign potter said. "and who the hell r u and why should you care?? at least
help me steal thist stupid helycopter with 'sexx copter' writen on it for some
reason what even is sex??"
gunilla wanst going to tell what sex is to a randomr oof baby, so she just
answerered the other question. by the way, if u r a baby and reading this 1th
congrats for learning to read as baby and 2rd STOP READING NOW THIS STROY WILL
TELL YOU WHAT SEX IS. but i guess it already did tho
the point is that gunila said: "hi im gunilla the queen of ardelia and whoops i
just killed ur father lol"
the baby witc was HEDWIG POTTER gasped. "you killed my father PREPARE TO DIE"
gunilla steped back wards. babies werent mostly threatening at all, but this
was clearly a VERY ADVACNED baby because it could even TALK, witch was probaby
magic. and if some thing can talk it can proabably kill you, so if some body
ever talks to u FUCKING RUN AWAY!!! IF THEY CAN TALK THEY CAN VERY VERY LIKELY,
KILL YOU!!!!!
"my fater said this" saidd hedwing potter "hey hedwing stalin dumblydore potter
whats up bro u were named after the 3most bestest ppl i know. 1th my owl who
tbh really isnt a people. but anyways he was cool as fuck before being killsed.
and 2rd stalin who was some dude in hitsory and probs a cool dude. and 3th
dumledore who is a wizard who works in ardelia and is probs a cool dude and not
plotting revolution or any crazy shit like that. anyways this is getting p long
andmy point here is that if sb ever insults you just KILL THEM cause ur cool
man. and if u want to say this cool thing witch tbh makes u look COOL AS HELL
leave out most of my rambling because the other dude has prob killed u by the
time ur finished with my lengthy–"
but gunilla had already grabbed the baby from its butt. HEDWING POTTER bited
and clawed at the air furiously but couldnt hit any thing, because gunilla was
obviously BEHIND HIM. i mean, if u grab sb from their BEHIND then u must be
BEHIND them... heh.
"PUT ME BACK TO GROUND U STUPID SHIT SO THAT ICAN HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!"
screamed hedwing potter and began to cry becausee babies are just stypid like
that. getting tears when theye OWNED. i didnt even cry when my mom yelled at me
for looking at hot elsanna pixx so SUCK IT, BABIES!!!
"no ur just going to kill me im not THAT stupid" said gunilla. "anyways sorry
for having a part in killing ur dad bby but tbh he was kind of shitty and threw
me into the slmaeer"
"NOOOO" said hedwing potter "THATS IM POSSIBLE NOOOOOOOOOO"
"no its TRUE AS HELL" said gunilla.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" nooed still hedwing potter.
"stop saying the letters N and O you shit" axed gunilla politely.
"k" said hedwing potter. "FUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK UUUUUUUU"
"just STOP and SHIT UP" angered gunilla.
"im a baby i do what ever i want" said hedwing potter.
"yeah" said gunilla "like cry and SHIT IN YOUR DIAPER LIKE A STUPID BABY ASS
SHITDIAPER!!!"
that burn was so sick that hedwing potter finally shut up. latert some
scientits came and measured the sickness of the burn and it was aproxyimately
8359559 megasicks and the MOST SICKEST BURN IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.
"ok" said gunilla "like i said im sorry for kiling ur father. but tbh that
voldemort dude seems like a shitty ruler too so what if i help u make a god
damn revolution?"
"ok that sounds fair" said HEDWING POTTER. "COMMENCE OPERATION: VOLDEDORT
REVOLUTION!!!!"
"just wait a bit" said gunilla and dropped hedwin potter to the ground. she
went to the sexcopter and used the royal sexcopter telephone. everything was
likely just fine in ardelia so she decided to do some other thing that was
important.
"hey", heyed gunila. "listen, u know about the DATH VADER situation right? im
gonna need some information about their weapons and armies and other war
things, like r the nuclaer weapons real or just bluff?? ill pay you VERY GOOD,
ok thanks see you"
"who was that" axed hedwing potter.
"the greates tdetective in the world" said gunilla.
"ok was it sherlork holmes??"
"no"
"what about dr waston"
"no"
"FUCK. what about pourot the french dude with a epic stache"
"no"
"SHIT HELL DICK FUCK. WHAT about.... MISS MARLEP???"
"lol shes just some old lady she wouldnt stand against DARH VADERS lazer
swords"
hedwing potter sweared like 90000 times. kind of rude tbh but honetsly there
probably arent social rules against babies swearing because UMMM..... MOST
BABIES...... CANT TALK??? "OK FUCK THITS I GIVE UP WHO IS IT???"
gunilla sighed. "its BAT MAN the worlds best detectide. and robin i guess, you
stupid baby"
"wow", angered hedwing potter "SORRY FOR BEING CULTURED AND NOT THINKING THAT
BAT MAN IS AMONG THE CLASSIC DETECTVIVES!!"
---
and meanwhile in STARLAND, elsa and anna were SUPRRISED AS FUCK that DARTH
VADER was their dad. and also, i guess that they were CLONES???? i mean darh
vader being the fathe is the CLASSICEST TWIST OF ALL TIME. no sequal can really
hold up!!! and tbh if even his fucking name is dARTH VADER witch means DARK
FATHER in sweden. because hes a DARK FATHER witch means that hes evil and makes
the clones of his daugheters, to give birth to nuclear weapons. im p sure that
that was darthvaders actual plan in STAR WAR too but he never captured
PRINTCESS LEIA to do the nuclear birthing.
wait, does this mean that ELSA AND ANNA ARE PRINCESS LEA???? HOLY SHIT. WAIT
LEts think of similarties. 1th incets, witch they both like. 2st being rulers
of stuff. 3nd being darth vaders daughters. this TOTALLY HOLDS THE FUCK UP
but i guess the point herei s that, ELSA AND ANNA WERE SURPRISED (AND ALSO
PRINCES LEIA) AND DATH VADER WASNT SURPRISED, BECAUSE HE ALREADY KNEW THE THING
BECAUSE HE WAS THE FUCKING ONE TO REVEAL IT!!!
"what does this even mean" anna agered "PLEASE EXPLAIN DAD"
"you stupid incestshits" said DRATH VADER. "it means that i sexxed elsa to
birth anna and then sexxed anna to birth elsa and while sexxing stole their dna
and then cloned YOU, my dear nuclear weapon birth factoreis"
"YEAH WE GOT that DAD" angered elsa "but WHY???? WHY do u want to rule ardelia
so bad???"
"thats a long fuckin story" DARHH VADER SAID. "but anyways here goes. first i
sexxed ur mothers by witch i mean u. it was very strange and then they
disappared, to time travel or some shit like that. i odnt really understand
this confusing temporal spacial mess. BUT ANYWAYS i read into ardelian lore and
sacred baby prophesies prohpecied by stoned weed idiots. ANDD what they say
that is.... THAT ELSA AND ANNA, BY WITCH I MEAN YOU, ARE THE MORTAL
INCARNATIONS OF THE GOD ELSANNA OF FERTILITY. there fore u have some SPECIAL
powers like giving birth to things."
"that didnt even anser the question you dumb dick" angered anna.
"im still EPXLAINING IT" angered DARTH VADER. "if you want to read something
without long explanations READ SOME THING ELSE!!! anyways like i was saying u 2
are the pieces that make up ELSANNA THE DEITY OF FERTILITY. and why the hell is
this even important. well, a special baby legends says that ELSANNA was the one
to give birth to this universe..... AND WILL BE THE ONE TO DESTROY IT, AND
BIRTH A BRAND NEW WORLD. and why the hell is that. well apparently some evil
abomination called the 'BABY EATING DEMON' some how corrupted this universe.
well guess what my daughters. THIS. IS. BULL. SHIT!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK even IS a
BABY EATING DEMON??? i have NEVER seen a fucking baby eating demon. i am NOT
going to watch the universe being remade and EVERY BODY DYING just because some
ass holes think that some stupid baby eating demon is bad or some thing. there
fore i shall CONQUER ARDELIA and prevent the rest of the prohpesy from EVER
HAPENING!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
then DARTH VADER laughsed some more. being evil was GREAT because you could
always just evilly laugh at things, like if some body slips and falls or if ur
mom is angery after seeing u looking at elsanna pixx. there fore DARTH VADER
laughed lots and lots, even tho his plan didnt really seem THAT evil..... i
guess we will see.
but wihle he was laughing, ELSA AND ANNA HAD ESCAPED!!!! HOLY FUCK
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO",
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooed DARH VADER. "my evil plan is RUINED
only because some ass hole lesbien incets queens COULDNT STAY THERE FOR A FEW
FUCKING MINUTES!!!!!"
"what happened my lord" screamed dr cap jack sparrow and ran in because he head
DARTH VADER noooing and DARTH VADER always nooooooed when some thing was bad.
there fore, some thing was bad now. FUCK THE PROBLEM OF INDUC TION
"MY NUCLEAR WARHEAD BIRYHING MACHINE DAUGHTERS JUST FUCKING ESCAPED!!!"
scaremed DARH VADER.
"WOW" gasped dr cap jack sparrow "how fucking RUDE is that"
DARH VADER sighed. "but we HAVE to go to the war EVEN WTIHOUT NUCLEAR WEAPANS.
STARLAND is still the most advanced country EVER, so FUCKING THROW ALL
RESOURCES INTO WEAPONS AND ROBOT SOLDIERS!!!! NO MATER WHETHER MY TRAITOR
DUAGHTERS DECIDE TO JOIN ARDELIA OR NOT, THIS! IS! FUCKING! WAR!!!!!!!!!"
NEXT CHAPTER: WHAT DOES BATMAN DOO???? DO HEDWING AND GUNILLA SUCCEED??? WHAT
HAPPENS TO ELSA AND ANNA??? WHO IS DARH VADERS BABY???
***** CHAPTER 6: BAT MAN VS DARH VADER: DAWN OF PRAGANANCY *****
CHAPTER 6: BAT MAN VS DARH VADER: DAWN OF PRAGANANCY
elsa and anna had escaped DARH VADERS EVIL HIDE OUT but they were still in STAR
LAND witch was the country where DARTHVADER and all that shit was in the 1nd
place. there fore they were kind of lost because star land was a HUGE country
(area almost 800m2). and even when elsa and anna came as fast as they could
they were STILL travelling thru starland.
"im tired eelsa" anna creid. she didnt even have doridtos and if u remember
from the last fic anna FUCKING LOVEd doridtos. more than any person even could.
witch was a SECRET HINT that anna was really a half of elsanna, god of
pragnancy.
"im too my lesbien queen love" said elsa even if TECHINICALLY they WERENT EVEN
QUEENS ANYMORE. or were they?? wait fuck cloning like totally DESTROYS THE
ENTIRE OF LAWS.... if u r a clone r u legally ur original version or not?? can
u get blamed for their crimes? well obs FUCK No because that would just be the
STUPIDEST thing ever.... wow just imagine being a clone of some ass hole like
my mum who yells when i loo kat HOT ELSANNA PIX. and then ppl already hate u
but EVEN THE LAW HATES YOU, WHAT THE FUCK. im at least 99% that the law
SHOULDNT MAYBE JUDGE PPL FOR THINGS THEY HAVENT EVEN DONE?!!? so there fore
clones are JURIDICSALLY DISTINCT FROM THEIR ORIGINAL COPIES. but FUCK this
opens even MORE issues. srsly like look at elsa and anna, ok they arent even
queens any more because everyb1 thinks they fucking died. and then gunilla was
DEMORCRTACTIYALLY sELECTED AS QUEEN. wait fuck i forgot queens arent even
supposed to be democratcies but fuck it im in middle of some another rant so
MAYBE NEXT TIME WHEN THE WORD "QUEEN" GET SMENTIONED.
but anyways the point here was that elsa and anna were in traveling in
starland. but wait fuck i didnt even finish my last rant ok here goes iF CLONE
ELSA AND ANNA ARE LAGALLY DISTINCT FROM ELSA AND ANNA THEN THERE ARE HuGE
FUCKING ISSUES (size almost 7). 1rd how do they even GET things that u can only
get from being in society?? the clones are probably over 18 and there fore HAVE
TO SUPPORT THEM SELVES (im p sure that mr and mrs frozen are also dead so THEIR
PARENTS ARE DEAAAD) but HERS THE PROBLEM: they have no fucking education. i
mean the story kind of implies that elsa and anna DEFINATLY DONT have memories
of the "real" elsa and anna..... so THEY DIDNT EVEN GO TO KINDER GARDEN WHAT
THE FUCK. good luck trying to get a job. also they arent even citizens of ANY
COUTNRY and DONT HAVE SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS or aNY MONEY or ANYTHING. srsly
being a clone would FUCKING SUCK.
ANYWAYS elsa and anna were travelling thru star land and not worrying aboujt
their WORRYING JURYDICAL STATUS IN REGARS TO THEIR ORIGINAL VERSIONS. starland
i guess was snowy and cold just like the planet from star war. and had HUGE
MOUNTAINS (height almost 5000000km) that elsa and anna hadd to GET OVER to GET
OUT OF THE COUNTRY.
"but I WONT GIVE UP" screamed elsa at nobody. witch was a pretty much fucking
stupid idea since thye JUST ESCAPED and WERE PROBABLY CHASED, CURRENTLY??? "we
will GO OVER THOSE HUGE ASS MOUNTAISN and THEN CLAIM THE QUEENHOOD OF ARDELIA,
like WE DESERVE"
"uhhh elsa" axed anna "im p sure that we will FUCKING DIE since its cold and we
only have sexxy not warm cloths our pervv daddy gave us"
"oh right" saddened elsa "because im a physics let me just take a moment to
calculate the possibility that we die. ok i did it and its fucking 107%"
heres a tip for u dudes out there: when the probablyties start going over 100%
then SHIT IS GETTING REAL. elsa and anna knew that very well and there fore
decided to have some sort of plan, other than "go up the god damn mountains and
p much freeze to death and become FROZEN just like the name of the moive but
the name of this story is THE BABIES ARE 2 and not FROZEN 2 (tho elsanna is
canon in both) so WHAT ABOUT WE NOT DO THAT"
but anyways starland was so cold that there were almosts no ppl there. and im
at least 204% sure% (REMEMBER THE LAST PROTIP PLS) that DARH ADER took like
most of the popilation and made them into crazy killer robots becaus eorganic
things turning into kill bots is p much a tbau traiditon.
but there was a single house there (at least next to elsa and anna) that said
LEOLAS' TAVERNT at the top with a wooden sign. elsa and anna were big fans of
the rolle play game ICES & INSCETS so they knew that tavern was like p much the
news station before the internet and the phones and all that modarn shit
happened by witch i mean: IF U WANNA KNOW WHAT ARE THE HAPS AND THE INTERNET
ISNT REAL JUST GO TO A TAVERN DUMPASS.
and there fore they went inside. the tarven was WARM AS HELL (tempareture
almost 100K) witch was p good for business. i mean a tavern where u FREEZE TO
FUCKING DEATH doesnt sound like a good busienss cause 1nd) no body even wants
to go there.... 3st) your customers FUCKING DIE so good luck getting them to
pay, or even come again. so a FREEZE TO DEATH TAVERN would p much FUCKIN SUCK.
and yeah inside the tavern there were some ppl. and the tavern keeper who was
probably called LEGOLAS was some kind of fucking elf. elsa and anna bought some
drinks and pancakes and doridtos and some normal food for elsa and also better
cloths (good point: not die bad point: not as sexy).
"so what are the news" said elsa who was genre savy enough to know the tavern
thing witch i said earlier. you didnt read it?? well GO BACK AND DO SO my rants
are fucking important to the story and themes and plots and stuff (seriulsy).
"the news are that some lesvien incests queens of ardelia who were cloned just
escaped from DARH VADEs evil deathquarters."
"wow DEATHQUARTERS is a fucking cool name for a place" whipsered elsa to anna
"pls take a note"
and the she said "hey im at least 90% sure that WE ARE THE LESBIEAN INCETS
CLONE QUEENS"
"cool" said legolass "anyways i was jus tthinking if ur clones then how can you
be queens"
"i could care less about BURAUCRACY" scremaed elsa angrily and did the thing
with ur hand that u do when ur angry. THE GHOST OF KAFKA cried of happy in his
grave, wait fuck ghots dont have graves, lets just say KAFKAS SKELETON but
wait, fuck,, skeletons dont have eyes. anyways KAFKAS SKELETON just did some
thing sksletons do when they are happy. wow it must SUCK 2 be a skeleton
because showing that your happy is, FUCKING HARD...
"but anyways" said anna "we were kind of wondering if u would want 2 help us
get over those fucking mountains and maybe get back to ardelia witch is the
country we are lesbien incests queens of" said anna.
"k sure" said legoals. "the taverns kind of shit anyways since darth vader made
all citizen of this stupid country into DEARTHBOTS expect me since he likes to
drink here"
and then they left.
---
MEANWHILE.... while some ppl left STARLAD.... some other ppl CAME INTO
STARLAND, as fast as they could.
and who the ppl were were BAT MAND AND ROBIN!!! sirously u know who the fuck
bat man and tobin are. bat man is the bat dude who punches ppl to their faces
and is smart and heroic and his PARANTS ARE DEEAAAD!!!! and robin i guess is
just the dude who has a sligtly more rediculous costuume and hangs out with bat
man. im not sure if his PAREANTS ARE DEAADD!!!! but they might as well as be
cause this is a SEROUSY FUCKING STORY and we have NO TIME AT ALL for ROBINS
PARENT ADVENTURES IN THE ADULT LIFE, like going 2 the bank, or paying bills, or
watching the politics, or going to a boring job, or killing urself due 2 the
hopeless existential dread u feel all the time, or bying groceries.
and anyways now in the story was time for BAT MANS ANR ROBINES DECTEVTICE
ADVENTURES!!! WITCH PROBLY INVOLVE investiGATING, AND POUNCHING, TO THE FACE,
BECAUSE BAT MAN ALWAYS PUNCHES TO THE FACE AND BAT MANS PARENTS ARE
DEEAAADDD!!!!
"wow bat man" axed robin "where do u think DARH VADERTS DEATHQUARTERS are???"
"lets see" said bat man "if u seriously are that fucking stupid, u blabbering
imbecile. there are 2 buildings. 1rd is a tavern and the 2rd the fucking huge
black building witch is decorated with corpses and bones and blood and
skeletins and says DARH VADERS DEATHQUARTESR at the top. NOW WITCH ONE COULD IT
BE????"
"the 2st one" suggested robin.
"no you FUCKING IDIOT its obviously a DISTACTION" angered bat mand and punched
robin TO HIS FUCKING FACE because his PARANTS WERE DEAAAAAAD!!!!!
and ther efore they went to the tavern. witch was empty, because the only ppls
who even were ther just left. bat man adn robin were surprised because
apparently they didnt even read the whole goddamn fucking story. uhhhh its
RIGHT THER EON THE TOP, FUCKING READ IT IF U SERIOUSLY WaNT TO BE A
CHARACTER...?
"uh oh bat man looks like this tavern is abandoned" said robin.
bat man began to cry and stole a blue elf beer witch was P FUCKNIG HIPO
CIRITICAL BECAUSE HES A DETECTIVE AND DETEDTVIES ARE LIKE POLICES BUT BETTER
AND POLICES ARENT SUPPOSED TO BREAK THE LAW???? and then bat man began to drink
and cry while sobbing "fuck fuck fuck sHIT im the WORST SHIT DETCEVEI in THE
FUCKIN WORLD its no wonder that my parents are FUCKING DEAAADDD!!!!!"
"shhh bat man its ok" said robin sadly. but when he sat next to bat man to also
drink (uhhh robin im at least 60% sure that your UNDER AGE, you sHOLDENT BE
DRINKING MAYBE???) he suddnely FELL INTO A FUCKING HOLE, WITH THE CHAIR.
"holy fucking shit" bat man said "thats was DEFANTLY 2 much alcohool 4 my body
right there"
"BAT MAN HELP mE PLS!!" screamed robin from the hole, witch made bat man
realize that the thing maybe wasnt alcohol hallinication. and he also jumped
into the hole.
"now im startin to understand this shit" bat man said happily. "darh vaer must
use this hole passage to go to drink to the tavern!! and heres why it is like
it: darth vader hates sand. snow is kind of like sand so DRTH VADER ALSO HATES
SNOW. and thers snow outs ide. so when datth vader wants to go to the tavern
hed obviulsy use a SECERT PASSAGE, wITCH IS THIS VERY PASSAGE." detective of
the year RIGHT THERE.
"wow holy incest u must be right" said robin "uhh what about we follow this
passage into DARTH VADERS DEATHQUARTERS"
"ok lets do it" said bat man "but WATCH OUT FOR TRAPS."
and then they followed the SECRET PASSAGE, witch was dark and secretious witch
means that it was a secert. bat man had EXPLICTLY told robin to WATCH OUT FOR
TRAPS but ROBIN WAS A BAD DETECTIVE WHO ALWAYS FUCKS EVERYTHING UP SO HE
TRIGGERED A TRAP!!!
a MAGIC GENIE came out from the trap and said
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAJHHHAAHJhajhahjhajjajaajjajajajaj11111111111!!! I AM DARH VADERS
SECERT TRAPGENIE!!!"
"holy shit" bat man said and stepped back wards because that sounded like some
seriousus shit. because of the EVIL LAUGHETR.
"and now...." said the geine "i COULD inflitc u with PHYSICAL PAIN but i SHALL
NOT. isntead i shall tortrure you with LASTING SPYCHOLOGICAL SCARS!!!! AND THE
THING I SHALL DO, TO INFLICT UPON YOU, THE PREVIOOUSLY MENTIONED LASTING
PSYCHILOGICAL SCARS, IS...... TO KILL YOUR PARANTS!!!!"
"ok cool plan dude" bat man angered. "but you didnt notice one thing about my
parents"
"ok what is it" axed the genie "i mean i am always happy to IMPROVE MY TORTURE
FOR THE NEXT UNLUCKY SOULS THAT SHALL WANDER INTO MY DIMENSION OF TORMENT"
"the thing is...." said bat man "MY PARENTS TAUGHT ME HOWW TO PUNCH OTHER PPL
INTO THEIR FUCKING FACES!!!!!"
and bat man punched the magic genie into its face and it fucking dieed. rip in
fucking peace bro said robin.
and anyways then they went forward into the passage and ARRIVED TO DATH VADERS
DEATHQUARTERS!!! HOPY SHIT!! robin suggeted that they find DARTH VADER and 1rd)
axe him for information about the things they were supposed to axe information
about 2st) punch to fucknig face 3th) fucking kill. but bat man was SMARTER
THAN THAT and sugetsed that they go into VENT SHAFTS of the DEATHQUARTESR. so
they did.
the DDEATHQUARTERS VENT SHAFTS were empty and full of shit, witch means both
full of shit and full of varyous things that can be together called shit. robin
complained that he got shit into his skin because he didnt even wear pants,
what the fuck robin. but bat man punched him into the face to shut him up.
they paused when they sensed SOME THING ESCPAECIALLY EVIL near. bat man had a
magic power to DETECT EVIL THINGS witch was p handy when u were a detective,
like a dude who fights EVIL THINGS. but tbh bat man didnt even really need that
sense because in BATLAND wher ebatman FIGHTED CRIME it was so that EVERT
FUCKING CRIMINAL WAS FUCKNIG INSANE. and committed ONLY CRIMES REALYTED TO SOME
SPECIFIC THEME, like cats, or clowns, or two things, or incest, or being
scared, or stuff like that.
BUT ANYWAYS THE POINT WAS THAT BAT MAN SENSED SOMETHING REALLY EVIL. so he and
robin stopped to look from the vent shaft hole.
"my creation is ready my lord" said dr cap jack sparrow.
"EXCELEnt" said DARH VADER!!! "im p glad that NUCLAER BABY MAGIC ENERGY
harvetsed from my traitor lesbien incets queen daughters was enough for this,
MAYBE WE CAN WIN THE WAR AFTER ALL!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!"
"what is the thing" axed robin.
"wait is some body FUCKING CRAWLING AROUND THE VENT SHAFTS AND WHISPERING
THINGS???" angered darh vader "HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD U TO FIX THAT FUCKING
SECURITY LEAK MY HUSBAND DR CAP JACK SPERROW????"
"im sorry daddy PLEASE DONT HIT ME" dr cap jack sparrow cried.
bat man decided that enough talking was done now, and not too enough punching
thigs to their fucking faces was done now. there fore, HE PUNCHED THE VENT
SHAFT INTO PIECES ADN JUMPED IN TO THE ROOM WITH ROBIN... AND THEN.... THEY SAW
THE ULTIMATE EVIL CREATURE CCREATED BY DR CAP JACK SPARROW.... AND.... IT
WAS....
.......
...
....
....... THOMAS "HELLSATAN" THE NUCLEAR TANK ENGINE APICALYPSE TRAIN!!!!!!!!!
NEXT CHAPTER: CAN BAT MAN DO THE DETECTIVE THINGS??? AND CAN GUNILLA DO THE
REVOLIUTION THINGS??? AND DO ELSA AND ANNA FALL IN LOVE WITH LEGOLAS??? AND WHO
IS DARTH VADERS BABY??
***** CHAPTER 7: ELSANNA AND LEGOLAS CLIMB THE BABY MAGIC MOUNTAIN *****
CHAPTER 7: ELSANNA AND LEGOLAS CLIMB THE BABY MAGIC MOUNTAIN
meanwhile elsanna and legolas were climbing the baby magic mountain, witch was
magical and babytiful. and also HIGH as FUCK (higher than anna after eating
6000 weed pan cakes) and COLD as FUCK (colder then elsa when she was using her
ice powers witch were Cold AS FUCK (colder than -6000 kevlins witch is a unit
for coldness u dumbas)).
but the point here is that elsanna and legolas were climbing up a mountain,
witch was p hard even after they looted some magic winter cloths from a near by
house where some old starlander had lived up in the mountain. and the wind blew
HARD as FUCK (harder than elsa and anna frequntly "blew" each others vags, and
that is HARD AS FUCK fyi) and it just THREW ELSANNA AND LEGOLAS AROUND and
BURYED THEM IN THE SNOW witch is p bad because not even hard as hell mountains
like MOUNT EVERENST usually do that?? i mean i havent even went to mount
evernest but im at least 90% sure bcause i saw a documentery and there wasnt
even any HARD AS HELL WINDS basically TOSSING PEOPLE AROUND LIKE THEYRE MOTHER
FUCKERS WHO DONT ANSERT TO ANYONE.
"what the FUCKC is even HAPENIng in this BIRTCH ASS MOUNTAIN!!!!" screamed elsa
when a evil gust of wind threw her at least 700m in the air and then bak into
the ground exept that you dont really throw some body to GRONUND because theres
this thing caled GRAVITYTION witch is p much MAGIC and it just THROWS PEOPEL,
but NEGATIVELY by witch i mean INTO TEH GROUND, witch is DOWN and NOT UP LIKE
THE SKY.
"well its a magic baby mountain" said legolas "whaht the hell did u except?? NO
MAGIC??? well its not called the NO MAGIC baby mountain witch would be p stupid
because whothe hell names a mountain after not being magic, seriously i have
seen like 6 things that have NOTHING to do with magic to day, saying that some
thing is not magic is USELESS."
"i havent even heard of a magic baby mountain tho???" axed anna. anna maybe ur
just kind of stupid because who the hell doesnt hear of a MAGIC BABY MOUNTAINT
witch is a P FUCKING INSANE THING TO EVEN EXIST. seriously just imagine that
sudenly some stupid nobody cares mountain is turned into a BABY MAGIC MOUNTAIN,
who the hell is the news media that ISENT covering that story p much like 100%
of the day??? who the hell cares about donold trump becoming the prez and
harambabe dying and all shit like that when theres a BABY MAGIC MOUNTAIN, WHAT
THE FUCKING HELL.
"but the mountain isent even that far from ardelia...." said legolas "its like
3 countries. theres ardelia, then sweden, then some destroyed nuclear desert
country and then starland where the mountain is. uhh how the hell havent u
heard of it??"
"u know DARTH VADER LORD OF STARLAND isnt really public with his politics" said
elsa smartly. of course shes savvy about fuckingn politics even tho shes A
CLONE and shoudlnt even KNOW ANYT HING. expect if DARH VADER told her and anna
some things, and uhhhh how the hell did anna then NOT know??? this shit makes
no sense. DO U USE MAGIC TO WATCH POLITICS ELSA???? ok then maybe thats a GOOD
use of magic, instead of having MAGIC SEX all the time and BIRTHING MAGIC
BABIES. the world would be a p fucking good place if more ppl used magic to
follow politics and less ppl gave birth to magic babies just fyi.
"anyway" said legolas because he sensed that this was a time for exposition
"these mountains were called some thing like URAL MOUNTAINS in the past but
then some thing stupid and baby magical happened and they are now MAGIC BABY
MOUNTAINS"
"cool" said anna
"are we even going to do any babymagics here???" axed elsa. "i mean it SOUNDS
like we have p huge fucking problems ahead, like DARH VADER going nuclear on
ardelia. AND if he doesnt go nuclear then he will at least have a war.
sooo..... any magicing here legolas???"
"i dont think so" said legolas "maybe we should just go"
"but why??" axed elsa "i mean lets do some magic!!! theres fucking bound to be
some MAGIC BULLSHIT ENERGY that helps us make magics"
FOR FUCKS SAKE ELSA THIS IS OBVIOUS SEQUEL SET UP. your the fucking queen of
ardelia havent you ever watched at trilegy??? the first part is juts like
boring and has no events because the cerators arent even sure if they will get
money to do the next ones, like star wors. and then HOLY SHIT THE FUCKING MOIEV
IS PROPULAR AS FUCK!!! ALL THE MONEYs ArE FALLING FROM THE SKY!!! and then its
time to do MORE MOIVES, but because of SUCH FUCKING BULLSHIT, the first part
doesnt even have any FORE SHADOWING AND ALL THAT SHIT. i mean DARH VADER being
lukes father is a FUCKING RETCON, GERGE LUCAS I WONT STAND FOR THIS. you know
what star wars dude. DARH VADER has 2 childs and theyre called ELSA AND ANNA.
and i guess some other childs soon since he is pregnont. BUT ANYWAYS STAR WARS
1 IS THE CANON ONE AND ITS NOT EVEN CALLED START WARS 4 SUCK IT GERGE LUCAS AND
DARH VADER BIRTHED ELSA AND ANNA AND NOT LUKE AND LEYA!!!!!! FUCK YU!!!!!!!
fucking hell witch asine point were we even in the middle of pointing out. NOW
i remember ELSA, SHUT THE FUCK UP & STOP THE FUCK UP. what u see here is a
PRIME FUCKING EXAMPLE OF "SEQUEL BEIT". we are nOW setting up this "BABY MAGIC
MOUNTAIND" and THEN when the last part comes and everybody gives birth and
whateever the fuck even happens in the finales of "THE BABIES ARE US" stories
and THEN the dudes who read this shit will be all like "shit. fuck. THE BABY
MAGIC MOUNTAIN DIDNT EVEN GET MENTIONED! shit i need to give my momey to the
sequel so that i may finally know this enchanting tale of baby magic mountains"
AND ELSA YOUR RUINING THIS!!! SO STOP WANTING TO DO BABY MAGICS THIS
INSTANT!!!! OR I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU LIKE I DID THE LAST TIME!!!
"by 'do magics' i mean SEX you fucking imbicile" said elsa angrily and sexxily
to legoles.
oh ok THAT works fine, as long as the sex as NO MAGIC AT ALL.
"oh" said legoals.
"yeah i can definitily agree to that!!!" screamed anna in excitement. "theres
basically NO SITUATION WHAT SO EVER where some HOTT LESBIEN INCEST SEX WONT
HELP (AND THE SEXX IS ALSO WITH LEGOLAS WHO ISENT A LESBIEN AND NOT INSEST BUT
ANYWAYS)"
i think i have ranted enough already, but anna pls be careful. what if some
insane dude thretened to DESTROY THE fucKING WORLD but ONLY IF you havve sexx??
thats a p good situation where SEX DOESNT HELP, so SHUT UP before you say
something that u will regret later.
"ok why not" said legolas. "lets do this shit dudes i mean grils"
and elsa and anna threw their cloths away, and probably FUCKNIG DIED OF COLD
JUST SECONDS AFTER. fucking hell. oh wait i forget that ANNA HAS FIRE POWERS,
and every body knows that COLD + FIRE = NOT COLD. so THERE FORE they dont die
and neither does legoles and this ISENT THE STUPIDEST STORY IN THE WHOLE
UNIVESRE.
and legolas also removed his cloths, because thats what u do when u have sexx,
stupidd. serously have u even TRIED CLOTHS SEX??? ITS NOT GOOD. 1rd you dont
see how big the BOOBES and the BUTTS and the MAN TOWERs of the other person
are. and THATS LIKE THE 596% OF WHATS HOT WITH SEX?????? SO why the hell
wouldnt you throw ur cloths away. fuck i need some other points since i started
to make this into a list. ok uhhh how about 2st ur cloths maybe get dirty,
because while in sex, all kidns of things like "man juice", "girl blood juice"
and "babies" come out of various body parts??? so then they would get into ur
cloths, witch is PRETY FUCKING ANOYING.
but the point here is that elsa, anna and legolas began haveing sex, WITH NO
CLOTHS BECAUSE THATS JUST STUYPID. JUST LIKE I JUST EXPLAINED. pls go read that
shit againd if you STILL Dont believe that cloths sex is FUCKING STUPID. but
lett me tell you, IT IS STYPID???? so the point is that no cloths on the three
dudes.
legolas inserted his dirk into elsas eye. elsa insrted her boobes into annas
vag. anna inserted her finger into legoles ass. leolas inserted his second
dirck into annas vag. elsa insreted her second boob into legolas mouths. anna
inserted her foot into legolas mouth. and then they began rytmically basically
shaking, like u usually do when u have sex.
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooohuuuuuuuuuuuhoooooooooo" legolas sceamed
"iiiiiiiouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuooooooooeehgghhhhhh" anna screamed
"ooooooooooooooooooooaaaaareeeeeehhjiuuuuuuuuuuuu" elsa sceramed
they all came severel times. but the sitaution wasent HOT ENOUGH so anna
figured out some others stuff she could do. anna BITED INTO LEGOLASS EAR
AND...... IT FUCKING CAME OFF!!! elsa and anna screamed startledly (not because
of violens and gore, because they LOVE VIOLESN AND GORE) but because THE EAR OF
LEGOLAS WAS BASICALLY FAKE???? WHAT THE HELL???!?! IT WAS A FAKE EAR!!?!?!
"WHAT THE FUCK" scerarmed elsa
"WHAATAOTOT THHHEH FIIICKCK???" screamed anna
"wait i can explain why im a person in elf costume instead of a real elf!!!"
screamed legolas. "1rd elfs dont even fuckin exist, THATS FUCKING STPID. or
WOULD be if ELVES EXISTSED, WITCH THEY DO NOT. 2st i needed to conceal my
identity because im really the 'FAMOS BABY PROPHET' who is MICHEL DE
MONTAINGNE"
"HOLY SHIT" screamd elsa "ARE YOU THE MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE WHO IS ALWAYS HIGH AS
FUCK AND DOES BABH PROPHESIES??"
"yes thats me" said michel de montaigne "or r u aware of any other FUCKING BABY
PROPHET DUDES WHO GET HIGH, MUTTER SOME SACRED SHIT ABOUT BABIES OR WHATEVER
THE FUCK, AND ARE ALSO CALLED MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE, WHO IS ME???"
"i mean im not sure" said elsa. "i havent met every ppl in the world, so how
the fuck could i know what kind of crazy shit is real in this messed up
world???"
"thats like NOT THE POINT" screamed michel de montainge "the point is that im
MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE"
"ok then i have a qusestion" said anna. and anna GOD FUCKIN DAMNIT it BETTER
NOT BE ABOUT PAN CAKES because your already kind of the stupider lesbien insest
queen, fucking hell. "i thogh about axing about pan cakes but i now have a
better question. uhhh if your hiding ur identity then why the hell did u now
reveal it??? i mean im at least 50% sure that there are other dudes who wear
elf ears all the time as some fucking fetisht thing so.... uhh u really didnt
need to tell us that ur michel de montaigne the famous baby propehet who drinks
weed and makes prophecies??"
"that is a good question indeed" said michel de montaigne "and the anserts
is..... uhhh its my destiny or some thing like that. i just realized it. i mean
my name is MONTAINE witch DOES sound SUSPICOUSLY SIMILER to MOUNTAIN if your
high enough. so i guess THIS IS MY DESTONY"
"cool" said elsa "annnd then what the fuck will we do?? i mean if you had
secrets like that then i guess u have OTHER secrets, that have to do with 'how
the hell do we deal with dath vader'???"
"indeed" said michel de montaigne "just over the mountains is a ancient holy
temple of some magic dudes that could destroy EVERYTNING with some weird magic
i dont really understand. lets go to see them and axe them to kill darh
vader??"
"sounds like a good idea" said elsa "but first MORE SEX"
"no" said anna "first MORE PAN CAKES WITCH IS MORE PAN CAKES THAN NOTNINg"
"no" said michel de montaigne "because elfs dont smoke weed and get high as
fuck i need to get my WEED ON if you know what im saying you know i havent
smoked for like fucking eternities??"
and then they made sex weed pan cakes as a compromise and then left to the
stuff that michel de montaigne mentioned.
---
"so" axed gunilla when she and HEDWING POTTER were walking in hogworts "theres
just one small thing that would be p good to plan out. uhh how the hell do we
kill voderdmort??"
"good question" said hedwing potter "and there fore its exposition time. uuhh
you probably havent heard this but its a long ass story so im just gonna give
the fucking important facts. LORD VOLDERMOT some how become like IMMORTAL as in
CANNTO FUCKING DIE. i have tried. he lets me knife him every time i visit the
prison (i think dudes getting off from it jesus crits thats fucking creepy) and
he just DOESNT DIE. so there fore the logicel explanation is that he CANNOT
FUCKING DIE, so i searched in google 'how to become immortel like the thing
where u cannto die'. and guess what i found??? theres this thing called a
HORECRUZ that basically does some magic to make u die"
"ok" said gunilla "so we find this 'HOECRUXC' and then dedstroy it witch
probably kills lord vodlerrot?"
"sounds good" said hedwing potter "but theres just 1 problem. YOU CANNOT
FUCKING DESTROY HOECRUZES. its imposible."
"what" axed gunilla "how the hell is that even a thing. cant u like throw it
into a fucking volcatno???"
"yeah kind of" said heding "but really not at all. theres just one sacred
temple where some angry spirits that supposedly can DESTROY ANYTHING live. and
there fore we can just take your royal sexcopter there after we find the thing
and maybe it works then"
they came across a sing that said "LORD VOLDERORTS HORECRZU STORAGE. DONT
FUCKING ENTER."
"uhhhh thats p stupid for security reasons" said gunilla.
"not really" commented hedwing potter. "no body even fucking knows whats the
fuck is a hoecruz. i had to go to the SECOND PAGE OF GOOGLE, what the FUCK, at
that point most people just GIVE THE FUCK UP."
"wow" said gunilla.
and then they went to the LORD VODEMORTS HORECRUXC STORAGE. it was a DARK AS
FUCK PLACE that had some kind of CREEPY FUCKING STATUES of all kinds of CREEPY
CREATURES GETTINGG KNIFED INTO THEIR FACES.
"fuck" gunilla whipsered "theres a FUCKING GIANT SNAKE THERE!!!"
and indeed there was a FUCKING GIANT SNAKE THERE. it was GIGANTIC AS FUCK (mass
almost 70000 kg) and also LONG AS FUCK (length almost 40m) witch is P FUCKING
MUNCH if you dont know shit about measirements.
"OH FUCK" said hedwing potter "THATS A BESILISK!!! if we look it into the eyes
then we will FUCKING DIE. holy shits thats some bad shit."
"i dont care" said gunilla badassly. the snake hissed, u know the sound snakes
makes thats kind of like SSSSSSSSS hence the fucking verb is called "hiss" and
not something like "bgyuola".
GUNILLA HEROICALLY AND BADASSLY RIPPED HER TOP OFF and showned her boobes and
then the SNAKE BESILISK FUCKING DIED OF SEXINESS.
"now lets go" gunilla said badassly "becaus we have a FUCKING HOECRUZ TO STEAL"
NEXT CHAPTER: WHAT IS LORD VOLDEROTS HORECRUZ???? WHERE DO ELSANNA AND MICHEL
DE MONTAIGNE GO??? HOW DOES THE BATTLE OF BAT MAND AND DARH VADER END??? AND
WHAT I S HAPPENING IN ARDELIA???
***** CHAPTER 8: THE FIRST BABY WAR BEGINGS *****
CHAPTER 8: THE FIRST BABY WAR BEGINGS
"HOLY SHIT" screamed bat man when he saw the THOMAS "HELLSATIN" THE NUCLEAR
TANK ENGINE APOCALYPSE TRAIN, because THOMAS "HELL SATAN" THE NUCLEAR TANK
ENGLINE APOLCAPYSE TRAIN was a PRETTY FUCKING SCAREY THING. it was a train made
of BLOOD and DEAD BABIES and also SKELITINS and PURE EXISTENTIAL DREAD. it had
a skull face w smaller skuls in the eyes of the skull and they all were
BLEEDING BLEED from their eyes. and it was a fast train and went FAST AS HELL
(speed almost 300000000 m/s).
"PREPARE.... TO.... BE SENT TO THE HELL... IN2 WHITCH YOU BELONG, SINNER.....
IT HAS... BECOME TIME TO REAP THE SOULS OF THOSE WHO ARE DOOMED TO SERVE IN
ETERNAL AGONY... TO THE GREAT MASTER OF ALL.. WHOSE DARK EYE WATCHES OVER THE
UNIVESRE.... AND WHOSE SEEDS POISON THE LAND AND SHALL MAKE ALL WITHER..... WHO
COULD WITH A SINGLE MOVE BREAK APART REALITY ITSELF... BUT DOES NOT, FOR THE
MAXIMUM SUFFERING IS REACHED ONLY BY THE LENGHTNING OF MORTAL TORTURE.... YES
THE MASTER I SERVE.... CUTHLY" scramed TOMAS "HELL SATAN" THE NUCLEAR TANK
ENGINE APOCALYPSE TRAIN from ALL thes kulls in his body, witch were quite a few
of skulls since THOMAS "HELLSTATAN" THE NUCLEAR TANK ENGINE APOCALYPSE TRAIN
was made of skelitins.
"shit" shitted bat man. he was only preapred to beat up some crazy old men and
wo men who dresed in fun costumeds and comitted crimes w a specific theme. and
not THOMAS "HELLSATAN" THE NUCLEAR TANK ENGINE APLPCASYPE TRAIN.
"kill him, my mechanical son" commanded DARH VADER and laughed evilly. dr cap
jack sparow also laughned evilly, because he was the one to build the god damn
THOMAS "HELLSATAN" THE NUCLEAR TANK ENGINE APOCALYPSE TTAIN IN THE frist place.
"YES....." scemed THOMAS "HELLSATAN" THE NUCLEAR TANK ENGINE APLOCAPSYSE TRAIN.
"THE BLOOD SHALL FLOW.... THE SINNERS SHALL KNOW PAIN UNLIKE ANY OTHER.... THE
INETAVIBILITY OF DEATH SHALL RAIN UPON THEM....."
and then THOMAS "HELLSTAAN " THE NUCLEAR TANK ENGINE APOCALYPSE TTAIN FIRED A
FUCKING LAEZER BEAM!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSHHHHHH said the lazer beam expect
it didnt really because lasers cant god dman talk. but there was noise anyways,
and like WHAT EVER this is fucking fiction. i can use verbs that sound "cooler"
and stuff like that, EVEN IF the meaning is LITERALLY not LITERALLY the SAME
THING AS THE VERY THING WITCH IM DECRIBING. srsly if this bothers u one bit
just try opening a fucking book some time, even shakespear does this shit.
buut anyways i think the point here is, that bat man dodged the laser beam.
"HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE???? F*UUCKCK???" scramed DARH VADER because tbf it IS
kind of fucking bull shit. i get it bat man your the got damn bat man but
STILL??? this fucking story loses all "stakeds" and "meanings" and shit if u
can NOT be fucking kiled by THOMAS "HELLSATAN" THE NUCLEAR TANK ENGINE
APOCALYPSE TRAIN witch even serves CUTHLY itself, who kind of souds like the
BABY EATING DEMON, witch is the fucking main villain of this fucking whole
trilegy???
SO MAYBE afetr bat man dodges the laser beam the THOMAS "HELLSATAN" THE NUCLEAR
TANK ENGINE APOCALYSPE TRAIN begins to fire another laser but THIS TIME bat man
is exhasted since dodgin g a fucking LASER BEAM THAT GOES WITH P MUCH FUCKING
INFINITE SPEED must take lots of energies.
"FINE, WHAT EVER FINE ANOTHER LASER MY MECHANICAL SON" commanded darh vader.
"VERY WELL...." scaremd THOMAS "HELLSATAN" THE NUCLEAR TAN KENGINE APOCALYPSE
TRAIN. "THOUGH YOU MAY MOMENTARILY CLAIM VICTORY.... IN THE END, MY MASTER
SHALL PREVAIL... FOR HE IS SUFFERING ITSELF, FOR HE IS DEATH ITSELF... AND THE
GREAT GOD SHALL DEVOUL ALL MEN WHO ARE MORTAL.... AND ALL BABIES THAT ARE
BIRTHED FROM THEM.... SUCH IS MY MASTER CUTHLY.... TO LOOK INTO HIS EYES IS TO
PEER INTO THE ABSTRACT IDEA OF PAIN ITSELF.... AND VIEW THE COUNTLESS SUFFERING
THAT ALL SINNERS HAVE TO DATE SUFFERED.... AND ALL THE FUTURE PUNISHMENTS WITCH
SHALL BE ETERANL... AND INFINITELY PAINFUL...."
"but yo forgot that trains have 1 WEAKNES" said bat man.
"realy whats it" axed dr cap jack sparrow. uhhh dr cap jack sparrow you FUCKING
BUILT A TARAIN... im not buying that bat man some how has BETTER TRAIN
INFORMATION. i mean of course maybe theres a train criminal in gottham, who u
know like ties old ladies to the train tracks and forces bat man to choose
whether to change where thhe train goes, and then batm an does bat man things
and saves the all ladies. but anyways STILL what the hell is evne going on this
stroy???
"the train" said bat man "is ALWAYS LATE"
and then he ran away screamind "MY PARENTS ARE DEAAAAAAAAAAAADD!!!"
then a wonan voice said over the DARH VADERTS DEATHQUARTERS ANNOUNCEMENT
SYSTEM: "the THOMAS "HELLSATAN" THE NUCLEAR TANK ENGINE APOCALYPSE TRAIN to
ardelia has been dealyed. the expected time of departure is 18:49 witch is
after 6 hrs if your 2 stutid to even read a fucking clock."
"hes right" sighned dr cap jack sparrow.
"it doestn matter" siad DARH VADER and kissed dr cap jack sparrow. "i mean if
THIS wondrful train was what u found in the weaponry basement then we SHALL WIN
ANYWAYS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! anyways do we have any other wepons?"
"theres an army of dead baby robobts in the basement" said dr cap jack sparrow
"remember, those who some dude called DUMLEDORE made 4 us if we agreed to give
him enough momey to organise some stutid revolution some where"
"ah, now i remember" said DARH VADER "it was kind of strange how he knew how to
make a dead baby army out of the citiczens of this country even with out
knowing how he learned that skill. i mean thats a P FUCKING SPECIFIC magic to
know."
"i think theres no rationel expalantion" said dr cap jack sparrow "u knwo thats
how the magic usually goes"
DARH VADER agtreed because the fuckin dumbass dident even read my fic THE
BABIES ARE US where it was fucking explained that dumledore made the elsannabot
army and could there fore probably also do some other armies from dead star
land civilians. but anyways then some thing HAPENED!!!
AND THEN THE THING THAT WAS HAPPENED WAS THAT....
 
... DARH VADER BEGAN TO GIVE BIRBTH!!
---
mean while in the voldemorts horcruz storage in hogworts gunilla and hedwing
potter had alrady defeated more boring enemies, like my mom who gets angry if u
look at hott elsanna pix and some lesser demons like a gigant spider and a dog
w 3 heasds.
then there was a sign that said "HERE IS WHERE LORD VOLDEROTS HOECRUX IS. PLS
DONT FUCKING ENTER UNLESSS YOU DONT KNOW WHAT A HORECRUZ IS AND R HERE ONLY TO
CLEAN OR SOME TSHIT LIKE THAT, BUT AFTER U R DONE CLEANING PLS MAKE SURE TO
kILL YOUR SELF TO NOT LEARN WHAT HOERCURZES ARE."
"i have HUGE BOOBES (radius almost 1.7m) so there fore FUCK THE LAW and
especiylay sings that arent even laws. i mean srsly every body can write a god
damn sing so HOW THE FUCK are sings even laws if their not made by the fucking
governent and OFFICALLY AND BURAUCRATICALLY APPROVED. and considering LORD
VODLEROMT has been the ruler for like 2 hrs id be P FUCKING SURPRESED if he has
managed to pass any laws."
"but uuhhhh how could he even builbt this room??" axed HEDWING POTTER. "i mean
im just a baby who dosent know any thing but tbf i do seem to know a whole
fucking many of things so.... this dungeon set up is p elaborate and im having
a hard time believing he would even manage to set this up???"
"that is certaniy true" wondered gunilla "i wonder if there sa rationel
explantion 4 dis?? wait, no, i dont have time 2 wonder because LETS FUCKING
STEAL THIS HORECRIUZ??? AND NOT STAND HERE DOING STUPID THINS??"
"speak 4 urself" angered hedwing potter "u just spent like 30 secs ranting
about why signs arent the law"
"AND YOU spent at leas t 20 secs ranting about how 2 hrs is 2 short time to
make eleborate dungeon set ups that have GIGANT MONTESR and WEIRD WOMEN WHO ARE
MAD AT PPL WHO LOOK AT PIX OF QUEEN LESBIEN INCETS and MAGIC ITEMS THAT M AKE U
UNABLE TO DIE?? so what the fuck IM NOT THE WORST RANTER HERE"
but then an evil laugh LAUGHED EVILLY!!! gunilla and hedwing potter gasped and
turned around and saw LORD VOLDERMT??!!!
"r u finished with ur rants yet??" he laugnhed evilly "because, yuong hedwing
potter i can tell u why 2 hrs is enoug time to construct this eloberate set up
dungeon full of scary monsters and women who hate their childs and dont
understand anything, MOM"
"ok pls tell" angered HARRY POTTER "or i will FUCKING kill you, and maybe even
do it anyways"
"ok" said lor dvoldemort "the ansert is simple and its NO. 2 hrs is NOT enough
to construct an elobaret dungeon full of monsters, secret sex dungeons AND moms
who should FUCKING STOP LOOKING AT MY COMPTER SCREEN IF YOUR GONNA COMPLAIN
WHEN U SEE ELSANNA PIX, MOM"
"but... but... HOW IS THAT POSIBLE?" scramed harry potter
"the SECOND ansertws is that.... HARRY POTTER NEVER INTENDED FOR YOU TO BECOME
THE KING OF WIZARDLAND!!!! AHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHJAAHHAHAHAHAJJAHA!!!! IT WAS
ME THE WHOLE TIME!!!! HHAHSHAHSSHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAJAJHHA!!!!!!!!!!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THATS IMPSOBLE"
scarmed hedwing potter.
"search 4 ur feelings, and youll find if a fucking FACT bro" laughned voldemort
evilly "i mean got any other expalantions?? who else could have built this
VOLDEMOTS HORECRUXZ HOLDING TRAP (AND SCRELY KNIFING SEX DUNGEON) DUNGEON???
let me tell u that URLL WONT FIND ANY RATIONEL EXPLANATION WHAT SO EVER!!!
EXPECT THE ONE I JUST TOLD YOU!!!!"
"SHIT UP" hedwing potter angered "BECAUS, I DONT LIKE THE VERSION OF REALITY
WITCH YOU ARE PRESENTING WITH YOUR WORDS, I WILL, FUCKING KILL YOU!! GUNILLA!!!
TAKE THE HOECRUZ AND RUN IN2 THE ROYAL SEX COPTER!!!"
"looks like she alredy did that???" axed volemert rethorically. and it was p
much true, or then there was another explantion 4 why 1rt) gunilla was gone
3st) and the horezurx was also gone.
but anyways then they FUCKING DUELED!!!
---
"r we there yet" complained anna when they had dseceneded the magic baby
mountaind and were now in a boring desert FUL OF SAND.
"soon, since we came as fast as they could" thought michel de montaigne, who
was also legolas. "it should be some where around here.... this country was
destroyed by a nuclear blast in the past, but the only thing that survived was
this temple of the sacred gods who can deestroy ANY THING."
"how does it even wrok" wondered elsa "i mean LIETERALLY ANY THING is a p
fucking large concept. since being a sceince is my thing im not gonna acxept
any half assed explanation that is literally "MAGIC""
"and why?" axed michel de montaigne the legolas impersonator "i mean lets look
at the fucking facts that are happened here. 1rd) u fucking GIVE BIRTH to each
other and THATS FUCKING MAGIC, because al though im not a genecticist that shit
sounds SHADY AS HELL seicne wise. 2rd) you can fucking use spells 3st) then you
alslo give birth to nuclaer weapons... so.... uhhh all of this shit is p much
just MAGIC."
"fine" shugred elsa "but this birthing magic shit HAS 2 have a rationel
expalantion"
"maybe we can reasearch it later after we defeath DARH VADER" sugested michel
de montaigne "after all uhhh excuse me im the fucking BABY PROPHET... so baby
magic is kind of fucking MY DEAL."
"HOLY SHIT WHATS THAT IN THE DISTANC???" scremaed anna suddenly
"is it incets??" axed elsa.
"is it weed??" axed michel de montainge.
"is itp an cakes???" axed anna.
"is it bat man??" axed anna againgn after getting what the refrance was. but
uhhh 1rd) its not fucking bat man, think agaign 2rd) THE REFRANCE DOESNT EVEN
INVOLVE BAT MAN, BECAUSE HE DOESNT FUCKING FLY, UNLIKE SUPER MAN. tbh when u
think of it "BAT"man soulds EXCACTLY like some body who should know how to fly,
since uhh hes a bat???? and "SUPER"man uhhh what does "SUPER" have 2 do with
flying??? the ppl in comic books are either fucking idiots who dont know that
bats fly better than supers or then they just read teh news and one day theres
an article that says "BREAKNIG NEWS: BAT MAN CANT FLY, EVEN THO HES A FUCKING
BAT, SO WHAT T HE HELL?????"
but the point is that it was ARDELIAS ROYAL SEXCOPTER. gunilla landed with teh
ARDELIAS ROYAL SEXCOPTER and stepped out.
"sup biptches" said gunilla "im here 2 meet the HYDRAYLIC PRESS CHANNEL gods"
"not possible" said michel de montaigne "because the gods can only destroy 1
thing evry 3 yers"
"well then" said gunilla and took out a pistol "LETS FUCKING FIGHT ABOUT IT"
---
DARH VADER and dr cap jack sparrow and the army of dead star land citizen
soldiers all stepped into the THOMAS "HELLSATAN" NUCLEAR TANK ENGINE ALOCAPLYSE
TRAIN who was tbh actualy p conformtable insine. witch is a good thing becaus
trains are usually meant 2 CARRY PPL AND CARGO??? and like being CONSTANYLT ON
FIRE sounds fucking stypid if thats what u want to do.
"NEXT STOP ARDELIA" commanded DARH VADER and then the train descned into a
train tunnel witch was 4 trains that went 2 ardelia from under the ocean.
meanwhile ROBIN WHO NOBODY HAD NOTICED BECAUSE ROBINS A BORING CHARACTER had
sneaked in2 the THOMAS "HELLSATAN" NUCLEAR TANK ENGINE ALOCPALYSE TRAIN. he had
to stop it, because he fights crime and riding a demon train in2 another
country IS P MUCH THE MOST ILLEGALEST THING IN THE UNVIESRSE??? SRSLY JUST TRY
2 DO THAT IN REAL LIFE AND YOUR FUCKING GOING TO THE SLAMMER
DARH VDER decided to laugh evilly. "HHAHAHAHAHAH!!! WITH MY TWO BABIES, I SHALL
NOW DEFEAT EVERYBODY...... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAH!!! THE FIRST BABY WARS
HAS BEGUN!!!!!"
NEXT CHAPTER: THE FIRST BABY WAR! GUNILLA GIVES BIRTH!! WHATS THE DEAL WITH THE
HYDRAULIC PRESS CHANNEL??? WHO WINS, HEDWING POTTER OR LORD VOLDEMORT?? WHO ARE
DARH VADERS BABYS?? WHATS WAS GOING ON IN ARDELIA WHILE OTHER CHARACTERS DICKED
AROUND THE WORLD?? AND WHO SHALL RULE ARDELIA??? AND WHATS THE DEAL WITH
ELSANNA GOD OF FERTILITY THRETENING TO DESTROY THE WORLD AND BIRTH IT ANEW????
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