Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2302355.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M, Other
  Fandom:
      Teen_Wolf_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Derek_Hale/Stiles_Stilinski, Scott_McCall/Kira_Yukimura, Stiles
      Stilinski/Malia_Tate
  Character:
      Stiles_Stilinski, Malia_Tate, Scott_McCall, Derek_Hale, Kira_Yukimura,
      Liam_Dunbar, Alan_Deaton, Sheriff_Stilinski, Danny_Mahealani, Bobby
      Finstock, Original_Characters
  Additional Tags:
      Self-Harm, Anorexia, Triggers, Depression
  Series:
      Part 2 of The_Alpha_Within
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-09-14 Words: 2469
****** The Alpha Within: The Talk to Change a Life ******
by ChrisVD
Summary
     Derek talks to Stiles. Lydia is attacked by an OC (the only one I
     plan on making, though don't hold me to that). Scott's an idiot
     (still). Stiles goes to Danny for some much needed help.
Notes
     Again this is un-beta'd. All mistakes are my own. I do not own Teen
     Wolf or it's sexy characters. This chapter is a little shorter than
     the last. I wont start the next one until tomorrow. Please leave a
     comment. Enjoy!
I open my front door. I hear the basketball game my dad recorded last night. As
I walk by the front room, I say ‘Hi’ to my dad. Shortly after that, I walked
upstairs to my room. When I opened the door, I was greeted to the sight of
Derek, Scott, Liam, and Malia sitting around my room with serious looks on
their faces. I stuck my head out of the room and yelled down to my dad, “I’m
not that hungry dad, I think I’m gonna skip dinner!” “Stil-,” Malia starts but
I interrupt her. “Derek, I thought you coming alone. I didn’t bring enough
hairbands to braid everyone’s hair.” “Stiles, we’re all concerned for your
health,” Liam says. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to be here. “I hardly think
that my health classifies as your concern, Liam.” “Will you please just sit and
listen to us without deflecting every damn thing we say,” Malia asked with more
anger than she probably intended for. The first words spoken since our breakup,
and they’re a command. Great. “Fine, but I’ll have you all know that I’m
skipping curly fries for this.” “Like you’d eat them anyway,” Scott says with
venom in his voice. “Wow. Rude,” I reply. I settle into my computer chair. This
is going to be a long talk.
“Stiles, why haven’t you been eating,” Derek asks. Everyone looks at me like I
just killed an old woman. So much anger. “I haven’t been hungry. Next,” I ask
trying to avoid discussion about my personal health. “Why have you been wearing
the flannels? It’s way too hot for them,” Scotts the next one to interrogate
me. I want to lie. I want to tell them it’s because they’re comfortable, but
that’d be a lie. They’re actually really uncomfortable in the summer heat.
They’d see right through my lie. “I wear them because I don’t want to question
me about my body.” That’s not a lie, but it’s not the whole truth. “What about
the scars,” Derek asks staring into my soul. Of course he had to mention the
scars. Everyone looks shocked. “What scars,” Liam looks more confused than
concerned. “Stiles…,” Malia started but Scott walked over to me and grabbed my
arms. I tried to escape his grasp but it was in vain. He turned my arms over
and lifted my sleeves. It was obvious that these scars were self-inflicted, and
they marked the entirety of both of my arms.
“Care to explain,” Scott asked with so much anger that I thought he’d lose
control and wolf out. I remained silent. How do I tell my best friend that I
cut myself because of countless nightmares? How do I explain the endless
feeling of uselessness? What words do I use to explain that it’s the only way I
can escape panic attacks? I don’t think I can say anything. “Stiles! Tell me
why you did this,” he yelled as he shook my arms. All of a sudden there’s a
lump in my throat and tears blur my vision. Before I embarrass myself further I
say, “I just can’t. I’m so sorry.” I flee to the bathroom.
Once in the bathroom, I lock the door. I fall to the floor in an ugly, tearful,
sobbing mess. I stay like that for a while. Eventually, I don’t know how much
later, I hear a knock on the door. “Please just leave me alone. I don’t want to
talk.” I was surprised that Scott wasn’t the one to reply. “Stiles? Look I’m
sorry that we all ambushed you like that. Scott found out about our talk from
Kira and he staged the whole thing. I didn’t know until he showed up. I made
them all leave, and you’re dad got called in to work. Can you please come out
and talk to me,” Derek sounded genuinely apologetic.
After drying my eyes on some toilet paper and throwing it away, I got up and
unlocked the door. Now that I get a better look at Derek, I notice he looks
like he hasn’t slept in days. His hair looks like he’s been running his hands
through it. “Stiles…,” Derek says with a sigh, ”I-“ I didn’t let him finish. I
hugged him. His only response, aside from an ‘oomph’, was to hug me back,
though awkwardly. “Can we please just talk. No sarcastic quips, no attacking
me. I just need to talk,” I say as I release him from the hug. “Okay. We can
talk, though I’d prefer to do so in the front room, and not in the hallway.” I
laughed. It sounds a little hysterical. Derek doesn’t seem to mind. We make our
way to the front room in awkward silence. Once there Derek sits on the
recliner, and I sit on the couch. We’re silent for a long while. I finally
gather my courage to speak. “I think I should start with what caused all of
this. After the Nematon, well the Nogitsune really, I started to feel the
darkness Deaton warned us about. It wasn’t very strong, but it was there. After
the whole Allison thing, everybody was mourning. They had the right to. Soon
after the mourning period, Scott met Kira and left me behind. It didn’t feel
right to burden them with my problems. I mean yeah I killed people, and I was
fucked up, but that does not excuse ruining their happiness. I started having
these panic attacks, and I couldn’t calm down. None of my techniques worked. I
once tried to drink water to calm down, but the glass slipped and shattered.
When I went to clean up, a shard cut my palm and focusing on the pain brought
me out of my panic attacks. I have panic attacks often, so I cut often. Every
time I eat I get sick to my stomach. I have no clue as to why, but I just can’t
eat. Then there’s the nightmares…”
“Nightmares,” Derek asked in shock. I couldn’t bring myself to look him in the
eye. “They started after we killed the Nogitsune. I killed people, Derek! I was
possessed by an ancient evil fox spirit. I killed people. I see them every
night. All of the people I killed.” When I finally looked at Derek, he looked-
he looked- guilty? “How many hours a week are you able to sleep, Stiles?” “I
don’t know,” I reply. “Stiles…,” He says in warning. “I get about 4 hours of
sleep a week.” “How were you able to sleep through the night last night?” I
didn’t think about that. Why was I able to sleep through the night? It
certainly wasn’t because Derek was there, was it? “I honestly don’t know,” I
reply, though I’m exhausted from today’s events. “Until we find a way for you
to sleep, I’m staying here. I’m sure the Sheriff won’t mind. I also want all of
your blades. All of them. You will be eating at least two meals a day. It
doesn’t need to be much, but you need the nutrients and vitamins. You need to
get better,” Derek said with determination. “Derek.” “What, Stiles?” “Why do
you care so much about this,” I asked out of curiosity. Wait. Is Derek Hale
blushing? It must just be the lighting. There is no way Derek Hale is blushing.
“You’re pack. I care about our pack.” “Oh. Okay.”
Derek makes me eat a Cesar Salad for dinner, along with a protein shake. Then
he made me walk him around the house and hand him my blades. After that he made
me do my homework, and asked me to go to bed around 10 o’clock. I lie down and
then I feel Derek lie down beside me. There’s space between us, but I fall
asleep easier. It feels like the weight of the world has been lifted from my
shoulders.
When I woke up, I realized that Derek was spooning me again. “Uh. Derek?”
“Hmm,” he sounded tired. “Are you awake?” “No,” he replied gruffly. That’s when
I felt it. “Well, uh, some parts of you are.” He quickly rolled onto his back,
and bolted upright. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he says, “I’m so sorry.” I
chuckle. “Dude, don’t worry about it.” He just glared at me. “Don’t call me
‘Dude’, Stiles.” Last night’s events replayed in my head. “Oh! Derek, if you
ever baby me again, I’ll rip your throat out…. With my teeth!” I smiled and
left to go shower.
After my morning ritual, I went to my room to get my clothes. “Actually. Derek,
you’re gonna leave my room so that I can change.” “That’s not going to happen,
Stiles.” I raised my eyebrows at him. “Ok then! I guess you’ll just have to
watch me change,” I say hoping to get him to leave me be. “You don’t have the
nerve,” he replies as if he knows I wouldn’t. “Really, now?” He looks up from
his book with an expectant look. Not expecting, but daring. He’s daring me to
change in front of him? I don’t know why I do it. I don’t know where this surge
of body positivity came from, but I turn towards my closet and drop my towel. I
hear Derek gasp from his spot on my bed. I laugh as I put on my boxers. After
getting dressed I turn around to see Derek looking as surprised as I’ve ever
seen him. That makes me laugh even harder. “Told you,” I say as I grab my
backpack. “Oh and you can use the front door,” I say with a smirk as I leave my
room. Did I just flirt with Derek Hale? Did I just get naked in front of Derek
Hale? This will prove to be interesting.
Derek enters the car as I put the key in the ignition. I feel my cheeks heat
up. He doesn’t notice I’m blushing. If he does, he’s nice enough not to mention
it. As we pull out of the driveway, my phone starts ringing. My ringtone is
Bang Bang by Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj, and Jessie J. If I wasn’t blushing
before, I am now. “Uh, can you answer that? I’m driving.” Derek grabs my phone
with a smirk, which fades when he reads the caller id. “Who is it,” I ask with
concern. He answers the phone. “Lydia Martin! To what do I owe this honor?” I
can hear the high pitch of Lydia’s voice through the speaker, but can’t make
out what she’s saying. “A were-what?” That catches my interest. “Put her on
speaker.” Derek does as I asked. “Lydia? You’re on speaker,” I say to inform
her of my presence. “Stiles! Someone attacked Danny and I last night. It was a
shifter of some sort. It was definitely a sea creature of some sort.” I slowed
to a stop at the red light. Derek must’ve been able to see the realization in
my expression. “What is it, Stiles,” he asks. “Lydia, do you have a picture,” I
ask avoiding Derek’s question all together. “I just sent it to you.” I opened
my messenger app, and the attachment. Crap. “Stiles, do you know what that is,”
Lydia asks after a moment. “Lydia, have someone call Deaton. Tell him we have a
Were-Cetus running around town. Meet us at the clinic immediately,” I say as I
change my course. Derek hangs up the phone. “Looks like I’m not going to school
today.”
We arrive to the clinic, and I pull in to the nearly empty parking lot. The
only other vehicles are Scott’s bike, Lydia’s car, Deaton’s car, and Danny’s
car. We rush into the clinic through the back door. Everybody’s there, spare
Deaton. “Deaton’s dealing with a client, but he’ll be in here soon.” My mind
flashed back to the night I stabbed Scott here. I quickly shook that thought
from my head, as Deaton entered through the metal door.
“So we have a Were-Cetus on our hands,” he says as more of a question than a
statement. “A Were-what,” Scott asks too confused for his own good. “It’s
called a Were-Cetus. It’s one of very few. Cetea are sea monsters that look
like sea serpents. They are usually shown in Greek Mythology and Greek Art. A
Cetus must have reproduced with a human of some sort in order to create a
shifter,” I say, because (other than Deaton) I’m the only person who knows what
the hell I’m talking about. “It seems to be alone. I don’t see a reason for it
to be in Beacon Hills, other than the whole beacon thing,” Liam says. “I know
who it’s after,” Malia says. Everybody goes still. “It’s after Stiles,” she
says with an expression of guilt. “Why? Wait, how do you know,” Deaton asks.
Malia is quick to reply, “When possessed by the Nogitsune, Stiles killed a lot
of people.” All of a sudden a million emotions rushed over me. The biggest one
was guilt. “Yeah. I know. Thanks for reminding me,” I struggle to say past the
lump on my throat. “One of those people wasn’t a person. You killed a Were-
Cetus, Stiles,” Malia says as she avoids looking me in the eye. “How do you
know,” Derek asks expression full of rage. Malia pulls out her phone. The
display shows a picture of her apartment window. Smeared in blood is the
sentence ‘The Stilinski boy will pay’. “This is just great. I have an ancient
sea serpent after me. Best of all, it can disguise itself in plain sight! After
this will there be a Were-Harpy? Ooh no maybe we should find a Mormo spirit to
possess me,” I say sarcastically. “Stiles-,” Scott starts. “No! Screw you.
Screw this. I’m done,” I say as I throw my hands in the air in mock surrender.
I storm out of the clinic blinded by rage.
I hop in my jeep, and speed out of the parking lot. I drive home as fast as
legally possible. As I pull into my driveway an idea comes out of right field
and slams into my head. I pull out my phone and call Danny. He picks up on the
fourth ring. “You can’t copy my Physics notes, Stilinski,” he says as soon as
he picks up. “Woah, calm down. First of all, I didn’t call for that. Secondly,
Hello to you too.” He’s silent for a moment. “Wait, then what did you call me
for?” People think so little of me. “I need to get laid. Take me to a club, and
get me laid.” Maybe that’s why. “Oh, okay! Meet me outside Jungle in an hour!”
“Sure thing,” I say as I hang up. Oh crap. I have to go get ready.
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