Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/7804849.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/F, M/M
  Fandom:
      Spring_Awakening_-_Sheik/Sater
  Relationship:
      Hanschen_Rilow/Ernst_Robel, Martha_Bessell/Ilse_Neumann, Melchior_Gabor/
      Moritz_Stiefel
  Character:
      Ernst_Robel, Hanschen_Rilow, Melchior_Gabor, Moritz_Stiefel, Georg
      Zirschnitz, Otto_Lammermeier, Ilse_Neumann, Martha_Bessell, Wendla
      Bergmann, the_whole_gang_basically, Bobby_Maler, Thea_(Spring_Awakening),
      Anna_(Spring_Awakening)
  Additional Tags:
      music_tour_AU, Fluff, Smut, Everyone_Is_Gay, except_Bobby, Who_is_an
      arsehole, Prague, band_au, Modern_AU, everything_i_filled_with_happiness
      and_joy, Hanschen's_POV, the_other_pairings_are_just_in_the_background,
      this_is_basically_just_Hernst, Crack, a_bit_-_Freeform, it's_just_meant
      to_be_mildly_humourous_I_suppose
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-08-18 Chapters: 6/6 Words: 13867
****** Thank You for the Music (Tour) ******
by fezzydrinks
Summary
     Hanschen goes on music tour to the Czech Republic and as well as
     illicit underage drinking, performing music and eating goulash there
     is also romance, which Hanschen starts out loathing until he himself
     is partaking in it.
Notes
     This fanfiction is based entirely on my own music tour to Prague so
     factually it is accurate.
***** Day One: In Which Melchior is Vomited on *****
Hänschen loathed couples but that was mainly because Bobby Maler and his latest
fling, Anna Müller had been making out next to him for literally the entire
coach journey. And it wasn’t a short coach journey, either. To get from their
small town near Berlin to Prague took, like five hours and they’d already done
four of them. What really sucked was that Hänschen had been crushing on Bobby
for a while, even if he was probably straight. It kind of hurt having to watch
him make out with someone else for FOUR HOURS, JESUS CHRIST. Really the only
redeeming feature of the coach journey had been when Ernst Röbel vomited all
over Melchior ‘pretentious git’ Gabor right when Melchior had been trying to
start a singalong of Mozart’s requiem (like, fuck off, we’re not in rehearsal
so let’s just sing something fun). Except that now the entire coach stank of
vomit and Ernst had been forced to sit with all the teachers at the front so
that sucked. When the Wedekind High School tour party finally pulled up at the
Hotel Charles Hänschen nearly died of excitement. Okay, that’s hyperbolic but
he was pretty psyched to be getting off the coach. Mrs Großebüstenhalter, their
director of music, got them all to help the driver unload the instruments and
their suitcases and then once they’d collected them (Hänschen’s mother had
helpfully tied enormous pink ribbons to both his suitcase and his saxophone
case to make them less anonymous) they made their way into the hotel lobby. Mrs
Großebüstenhalter got them all checked in and started handing out room
assignments. Hänschen was sharing with Georg and Otto in room 805 and the other
boys in his year- Bobby, Moritz, Ernst and Melchior were sharing the next door
room. Hänschen didn’t mind Georg and Otto but they really more friends with
each other than they were with Hänschen. Truth be told, he didn’t really do
friends apart from Wendla, who had sort of made him be her friend when they
were the only people to sign up for wind band in their first year, although
Wendla was a flautist so they didn’t get to chat a great deal during
rehearsals, except via discreet gesturing.
They dumped their bags in their rooms, which took quite a while thanks to
Otto’s tuba. Hänschen often regretted deciding to play alto sax because of its
size, he couldn’t imagine what a hassle the tuba must be. On returning to the
lobby Hänschen was quite dismayed they were going to be getting on the coach
again to go get lunch in Prague. Fortunately, the journey proved to be
incredibly brief and then they were released into the wild with 200 koruna each
with which to buy food. “Hänschen, you’re coming with us.” Wendla was staring
pointedly at him so he smiled and walked over to her. With her things were
usually commands and it was always easier just to go with it. He found himself
in a group with Wendla, Thea, Martha and Ilse. If Otto and Georg had seen him,
they’d call him a pimp or a rogue or something. Hänschen tuned back into the
girls conversation just as Ilse was deciding that the group shouldn’t eat
anywhere they recognised the name of, which was a shame because Hänschen could
see a sign for a Burger King and he was really craving some fries. They ended
up eating at a little pizzeria they found in a back street and Hänschen was
glad Ilse had decided to immerse herself in culture (Italian culture but
whatever) because it was an awesome pizza. “Wait guys, post lunch selfie!”
cried Thea, getting out her iPhone. All the girls started pouting and posing so
Hänschen joined in, even going as far as to mimic Martha’s strange pose where
she placed one hand under her chin, almost as if she was holding it up.
Hänschen got out his phone and opened up snapchat. They took a selfie and then
he posted it to his story with the caption ‘me and my bitches’. “Hänschen, you
are such a sexist!” Hänschen was scolded by Wendla at least once a day, for
varying crimes. Often his lack of socks. “But is it sexism if it’s self-aware?”
“Yes, don’t be such a pig.” Thea joined in. His cousin was an ardent feminist
and she wanted to put Hänschen on the right path. In fairness he did consider
himself a feminist now, so she had succeeded even if his jokes could be taken
the wrong way sometimes (telling her the ‘a blonde walks into a bar’ joke was
his biggest regret).
They met the rest of the tour group in Prague’s old square, which was honestly
beautiful but as it had begun to rain and they knew they were coming back
another day they decided to make a run for it rather than stick around and take
photos. After another coach journey back to the hotel (Hänschen would
definitely just spend his time in hell riding coaches with Melchior ‘let’s make
fun of heartfelt rap music even though we’re privileged and white’ Gabor), they
had a rehearsal in one of the conference rooms. Firstly the choir rehearsed
with the string ensemble. The string ensemble was genuinely so anonymous,
Hänschen didn’t know a single person in it by name. They were doing a mass in
St Vitus’ cathedral on their third day, which Ernst had been going on about for
months in wind band. Hänschen had nearly had to take up a new instrument to get
away from his sickly sweet excitement. Anyway they were singing Mozart’s
Coronation mass and it was kind of technically demanding, particularly on the
soloists so it was definitely what needed most work. Not that Hänschen was a
soloist, or anything. The soloists were Wendla, Ilse, Georg and Melchior and
like, Hänschen knew he said he didn’t do friends but he was pretty proud of
Wendla and Ilse anyway.
“Hey Hänschen, what’s easier than Bobby Maler?” whispered Otto. Hänschen
shrugged. “The bass part.” Hänschen scowled at Otto, who was a tenor. “Fuck
off, Otto. You can’t make jokes about people being easy when you aren’t getting
any at all.” Hänschen didn’t think it was a good come back but it made Moritz
giggle scandalously so he guessed it worked. In truth the bass part wasn’t
easy, as Otto was implying but Hänschen did wish they got the tune a bit more
since it could get boring at times, being the harmony literally always, except
for one time they had the tune for all of five seconds in a West Side Story
medley. Hänschen liked the Sanctus best of all the movements in the mass,
although he wondered what any of it actually meant fairly regularly. He knew it
was religious and that at the end people had bread but that was about the
extent of his knowledge. After they’d finished butchering the mass (they had to
get up at, like four am that morning so it was excusable, frankly) they moved
on to their second piece, which didn’t involve the string ensemble. Mrs
Großebüstenhalter accompanied on the piano and Mr Knochenbruch conducted as
they sang a selection of German folk songs and hymns. This was for the other
concerts apart from the mass and was generally far less taxing. Hänschen could
imagine the Czech people would love hearing nationalistic songs from a country
other than their own, which they probably wouldn’t even understand. Probably
for the best, they were mostly pretty gruesome.
After choir finished up rehearsing Hänschen was knackered but they weren’t done
yet. Smugly, the members of the string ensemble and choir members who didn’t
play an instrument flounced out the room to have a nap while everyone else
moved the chairs around for wind band and set up the percussion at the back as
well as unfolding their music stands, which was a true art as fold up music
stands were ridiculously hard to unfold because everything had to be in a very
specific position or it would get stuck and come perilously close to breaking.
Hänschen got out his alto sax, grabbed his folder of music from Mr Knochenbruch
and went to sit in his place. Hänschen was part one, which meant that Ernst,
who was part two was always on his left and beyond him sat the tenor and
baritone sax players. On his other side was usually Thea, who played part two
flute. Wendla, being first flute one sat on the front row on the furthest right
seat so she was much too far away to talk to. Not that they were exactly meant
to be talking. They kicked the rehearsal off with an arrangement of Vitae Lux
they’d had done especially because Mr Knochenbruch really loved the piece. It
was a relatively easy piece to play because it was really slow and repetitive
but it sounded effective and was a good warm up piece. After that they moved on
to Pirates of the Caribbean which was absolute hell as an alto sax because you
just got rhythms throughout that involved a lot of incredibly fast tonguing and
hardly any pauses in which to breathe. He and Ernst had worked it out so they
would drop out for whole bars at a time but there would always be one of them
playing because otherwise they both ran out of energy before the end of the
piece. “Fuck, that’s hard,” Hänschen panted, blushing a little as Ernst wiggled
his eyebrows at him. “Not like that.” Ernst replied, “Sorry, I’m just teasing
you. It is difficult but its good practice for the tongue.” Hänschen looked
over at Ernst, wondering if he’d also accidentally slipped into double
entendre, but Ernst was smirking; he clearly knew exactly what he was doing.
Sometimes Hänschen forgot, amid his sincerity and sweetness that Ernst too was
a teenage boy. Their next piece was based on Eastern European folk tunes and
even though the saxophones had a rhythmic part once again (Otto went ‘oom’ on
the tuba and they responded with a ‘pah’) this one was considerably easier and
there was even a part where they nearly had the tune, which was a near miracle
on the alto sax. After that was their show piece, an arrangement of
Tchaikovsky’s fourth symphony for wind band and then they were done at last.
Hänschen ran to the lifts as soon as he’d put away his instrument and got in.
He was exhausted and they had been given free time until dinner at seven.
Hänschen knew it was a little lame but he was definitely going to be spending
his free time napping. Otto and Georg surprisingly agreed they should nap, but
insisted they wouldn’t need Hänschen’s alarm to wake them up, there was no way
they’d sleep for two whole hours.
Hänschen, Otto and Georg were startled out of their nap by the sound of ‘O
Fortuna’ from Carmina Burana, which Hänschen used as his alarm because it was
suitably dramatic. As soon as they had roused themselves and Hänschen had
combed his hair (because if there was one thing he cared about, it was his
hair) they headed down to dinner. The tables were all tables of four, which
seemed inefficient in terms of space but with that being the case Hänschen sat
with Wendla, Thea and Anna, who had finally extricated herself from Bobby’s
mouth and had joined her friends. Not that Hänschen was one of them, obviously,
because he refused to have friends. Dinner was generally uneventful, apart from
Thea rather dramatically spitting out a piece of tinned peach from her fruit
salad because she had mistakenly thought it was mango and she was unpleasantly
surprised to find it was not. When Hänschen was three he and Thea had eaten so
many tinned peaches they got sick and now neither of them were keen on them.
After dinner it was back to bed as Mrs Großebüstenhalter decided they all
needed to go to bed after their very early start.
***** Day 2: In Which Nobody Buys Weed Condoms *****
Chapter Notes
     The reason Ernst is portrayed as kind of a one dimensional cinnamon
     flower or whatever is because that's Hanschen's view of him, not
     because he is necessarily that way.
Hänschen went down to the breakfast buffet on his own as his room was already
deserted when he awoke. As he was collecting his Coco Pops he saw Ernst
discreetly packing a bread roll, some ham and a selection of cakes into a
napkin.
Hänschen walked over to him, “Woah Ernst, I’m pretty sure it’s prepaid so you
don’t have to steal the food.”
“Yeah, I know that. I’m making up a little parcel of food to put in my
backpack, just in case I get hungry during the day.” Ernst was looking at
Hänschen as though he were a fool, which Hänschen thought was a bit rich from
the boy who was hoarding food.
“But Ernst, this isn’t world war one. The Czech Republic isn’t going to run out
of food.”
“I like to be prepared. I was in boy scouts.”
Hänschen was not remotely surprised to hear that Ernst had been a scout, he
could just imagine him in the uniform. It was not necessarily an unpleasant
image. He dismissed Ernst with an arm flapping gesture and went to sit down and
have his breakfast. He spent most of his time eating imagining Bobby Maler in a
scout uniform which was surprisingly hot, but then he always did look good in
khakis.
Rehearsal began at 9.30 and Hänschen was glad he’d had the foresight to arrive
early as Moritz was badly told off for arriving a minute late without having
his clarinet out. Moritz stumbled to his seat, nearly taking out a timpani on
his way and earning black looks from the percussionists, Otto and Anna and then
they were able to begin. Pirates of the Caribbean was marginally better today
(Ernst wasn’t wrong when he said it was good practice for the tongue and now
they might finally be getting the hang of it) but then the rehearsal was made
infinitely worse when Mr Knochenbruch announced that they would be playing
their Frank Sinatra Medley. Hänschen quite liked the medley but he had a solo
in ‘Fly Me to the Moon’ which was not difficult but Hänschen tended towards
stage fright and so tried to avoid solos as far as possible. Why else would he
have played alto sax? It wasn’t as if they ever got the limelight, they were
mostly just bolstering the lower brass. And that suited Hänschen fine. The solo
went fine in the rehearsal so Hänschen just had to hope he didn’t fuck it up
due to nerves. After the band finished rehearsing they took their instruments
out to the bus as they were the only ones in the concert they had later in the
day. Once the bus was loaded they all got on, including those who weren’t
performing as they were spending all day out.
The concert was taking place in a town called Poderbrady which had an outdoor
stage in the park. They were spending most of the day there so even those who
weren’t performing were coming along. Hänschen sat down towards the back of the
bus but upon seeing Bobby with wait, was that Thea today? He’d expected more
from his cousin, who knew he liked Bobby besides anything. Anyway upon seeing
Bobby and Thea, of all people and also hearing Melchior Gabor beginning a
tirade about the bourgeoisie’s repressed sexuality Hänschen decided he’d go and
sit with Ernst at the front, so he had someone to talk to other than Mrs
Großebüstenhalter.
“Hi Ernst, can I sit with you?” He asked.
“Please do.” Ernst leaned close and began to whisper, “Mrs Großebüstenhalter
was about to tell me all about her romantic getaway with her husband, you are
my saviour.” Hänschen laughed and sat down.
Even though Hänschen and Ernst were in the same year they never really talked
apart from broken conversations during rehearsals. Hänschen was pleased to
discover that Ernst was actually worth talking to, although when Hänschen
started badmouthing Gabor, Ernst would hear none of it.
“Oh no, Melchior is lovely. In third year Moritz was really struggling with his
work and other things but Melchior tutored him and even did some of his work
for him.”
“Doesn’t stop him being a pompous little know it all though, does it?” Hänschen
wrinkled his nose in distaste. Melchior Gabor was a twat, no questions asked.
The fact that he wanted to fuck his best friend and so treated him with the
tiniest amount of human decency did not make up for the way he treated others.
Wendla especially. “Plus he broke Wendla’s heart. She thought it was love, he
thought it was sexual experimentation. He’s a dick.”
“I think it’s sweet how much you love Wendla. You pretend not to care but you
are a good friend to her.”
“Shut up.” Ernst laughed at the grumpy expression on Hänschen’s face.
“Have I ruined your cold, uncaring façade?”
“No because it’s not a façade.”
“It so is.”
“Isn’t.” Hänschen looked out the bus window to avoid Ernst’s teasing grin and
was surprised to see they had already arrived. The hour had gone by very
quickly chatting to Ernst.
After everyone had got off the bus and retrieved their instruments they were
given free time for an hour to go and find lunch. Unfortunately it was
stipulated that they must remain within the park boundaries (the park being
where they would play) so even though Poderbrady had looked like a really nice
town they were only going to be able to explore the park. May as well have
stayed at home for that. There were parks in Germany. Hänschen went and caught
up with Wendla and they found a Czech restaurant. Hänschen decided to have
goulash in a bread bowl and Wendla, being a vegetarian had some lovely onion
soup in a bread bowl. Bread bowls were a revelation and Hänschen definitely
needed to learn to make them. They would definitely save on washing up. The
goulash was much like any beef stew Hänschen might have had at home but it was
tasty. When they had finished eating Wendla led Hänschen to the fountain in the
middle of the park so she could take photos of it and then they went to a tacky
tourist shop.
“Hey Hänschen let’s buy some weed condoms.” Wendla joked. “Oh wait, they’re
like five hundred koruna, maybe not.”
“Bit much for a gag gift. How much is that probably offensive hat?” The hat in
question was like a furry Russian army hat with a large communist symbol on the
front. Except that the hat was neon pink. It was six hundred koruna and as it
looked like it would cause offense they left it behind, realising they had to
go and meet everyone else to get changed and warmed up for their concert.
Wedekind High School Music Department was nothing if not completely up itself
and so, even though the school did not specialise in music all musicians had to
wear a special uniform for performances. It consisted of a black shirt and
trousers and then the boys wore blue ties with quavers on and the girls had
scarves. An optional extra was a tie pin with your instrument on it, or a
brooch for the girls but only total dweebs like Moritz and Georg had these. And
Ernst, obviously because Ernst may have been nice but he was a total nerd. Now,
the uniform was fairly unflattering on most but Bobby Maler had the most
sinfully tight pair of dress trousers on and he’d rolled his sleeves up to his
elbows to reveal his fucking gorgeous forearms. Maybe it was weird but Hänschen
was a forearms kind of guy. Otto and Anna entered the dressing room covered in
sweat. Hänschen thought, perhaps a little smugly, that playing percussion may
seem cool but the hour of set up before concerts was something he’d been glad
to miss. Ilse came over and informed him that while Anna and Otto had sweated
it out setting up all the massive percussion instruments, she, Moritz and Georg
had sat annoyingly nearby doing nothing and eating ice cream. Laughing with
Ilse was almost enough to distract Hänschen from the fact that he would have to
do a solo shortly. Not quite, though.
In the actual event Hänschen’s solo was fine. It was only about ten bars long
and it was easy, after all and by the time they got there Hänschen was so
involved with playing that he didn’t notice the solo until it was upon him, by
which point it was too late to panic. Really Ernst having a total panic because
he didn’t have a chair when they went on stage distracted him and then the
concert had begun. The rest of the concert was well received by the few elderly
people and young children who had sat down to watch it but while Hänschen had
thought their piece of Eastern European folk tunes might come across a little
tacky this was actually received far better than anything else. During the
piece several old women began to dance merrily with each other and at the end
they let out whoops and cheers. Hänschen wouldn’t admit it out loud but he
actually found it very sweet.
After the concert they headed back to Prague so they could go on a river cruise
for dinner. A different driver was taking them back and obviously Hänschen
couldn’t drive yet so he shouldn’t judge but the driver was a total maniac.
Poor Ernst looked incredibly green for the entire journey, although thankfully
he did not actually throw up. The river cruise was pleasant enough but as they
didn’t have their walking tour until the next day none of them had any clue
what they were looking at.
“Ugh, this sunset is so sickeningly picturesque.” Hänschen plopped down onto a
bench next to Wendla.
Wendla turned to him, mock annoyed, “Oh my God, Hänschen, is it impossible for
you to unsarcastically, unreservedly enjoy something for once in your fucking
life?”
“I’m allergic to sincerity.”
“We both know that isn’t true.” She looked at him, pity in her eyes and he
hated it, so he changed the topic.
“Wendla, everyone is up here taking in this delightful view. Would you care to
accompany me to the buffet to see if they have any more of those puddings
left?”
They had eaten on the boat and Hänschen knew he could sway Wendla with the
prospect of desserts.
She grinned at him, “How could I say no? I hope they have some of those
pastries left that had alcohol in. Honestly I just want to get tipsy but the
teachers are keeping way too close of an eye on me since they found that
tequila in my suitcase.”
After he and Wendla had polished off all the puddings (without becoming even
the slightest bit drunk, unfortunately) Hänschen felt really quite stuffed.
They returned to the open air top deck to take more photos of the sights. By
the time the boat returned to its dock the soloists had decided to entertain
them all with their solos. Hänschen thought they were frankly just insufferable
show offs. The manic driver returned them to the hotel, predominantly driving
on the tram lines and then when they got back to the hotel he couldn’t make the
barrier into the car park work so they blocked the road for about half an hour.
Eventually Mrs Großebüstenhalter made them get out the bus and just walk across
the car park because it was ten pm and they were all pretty sure the driver was
shitfaced anyway. Wendla invited Hänschen and several others to the room she
was sharing with Thea and Martha so they could play a game of some sort and get
out the bottle of vodka that she’d hidden in Thea’s suitcase, which the
teachers hadn’t even bothered to check.
When Hänschen knocked on the door of room 810, armed with a pack of playing
cards, everyone else who was likely to be coming was already there: Wendla,
Thea, Anna, Ernst, Moritz and Melchior. Hänschen asked where Bobby, Otto, Ilse
and Martha were and he was told that Bobby was trying to seduce some girl from
the string ensemble by a slightly miffed looking Thea and that Ilse and Martha
were hanging out together next door. Otto was taking a shower, apparently.
Everyone was sitting in a circle so Hänschen sat himself down in a gap between
Wendla and Thea and then turned to Wendla.
“So what are we playing then, Wendla? I brought playing cards if anyone’s
interested in Blow Off?”
Ernst spluttered, “What?”
“It’s just a drinking game where you blow cards off a glass.”
“We’re not playing Blow Off, Hänschen. It’s boring,” said Anna, who then began
to grin “Let’s play Never Have I Ever.”
“Oh yeah,” Hänschen rolled his eyes, “let’s just be totally stereotypical
teenagers and play the least original game ever.”
“Well, it’ll get us drunk. I vote for Never Have I Ever too.” Said Melchior,
who if Hänschen was willing to think of as anything other than a prat before,
was definitely not going to now.
“Why is he even here? Does he get a vote?” Hänschen grumbled.
Melchior scowled at him, “Because not everyone bears unreasonable grudges,
Rilow. Besides which democracy means everyone gets a vote, not just people you
like.”
Hänschen snorted but the others voted for Never Have I Ever too so he agreed to
play.
Two rounds in Hänschen had, had to drink three times and was beginning to get a
little drunk. This was nowhere near as bad as Melchior and Moritz who were so
pissed by this point that they were all but cuddling and Moritz was incredibly
red in the cheeks. Now it was Georg’s turn and he gave a menacing grin as he
said,
“I have never had a crush on a boy.” Everybody else was forced to drink,
including Ernst who had been stone cold sober up to this point because he
clearly never went out or did anything. Hänschen took a moment to register
this.
“Wait, Ernst you’re gay?” He exclaimed.
“Oh dear God,” Wendla tutted fondly, “everyone knows Ernst is gay, Hänschen.
You’re literally the most oblivious person.”
Ernst shrugged, as if it didn’t really matter either way but Hänschen felt like
he’d been hit by lightning. Weirdly he didn’t know why, because it wasn’t as if
he liked Ernst or anything. Pretty much all his crushing was on Bobby Maler and
Bobby Maler’s ass, which was frankly a beautiful thing on its own, especially
in his performance trousers (let’s be real, Bobby Maler’s ass was at least
twenty percent of why he came on this tour). So the game went on and Ernst was
gay but Hänschen definitely didn’t like him or anything, it was just a bit of a
surprise was all.
By the time the game ended it was nearly midnight and it was a true miracle
that they hadn’t been heard and told off and probably shipped off home.
Hänschen staggered back to his room, clinging onto an equally drunken Georg for
balance (they were sort of balancing each other) and after a long struggle with
their key card they finally unlocked the door and tumbled in.
“Ssssssssssshhhhhh,” Hänschen nearly shouted. “Otto is asleep!”
Otto turned over in bed and grumbled, “Not anymore you prick.”
Georg found this hilarious and giggled until Otto called him a prick too,
whereupon he began to look like he might cry. Eventually Hänschen and Georg
were able to undress and put their pyjamas on, although Hänschen had to give up
on his t-shirt because he just couldn’t find the head hole, and then they went
to bed.
“Otto?” Slurred Georg.
“What? Please fuck off.”
“Don’t be mean. Can’t sleep. Can’t get Mrs Großebüstenhalter’s tits out my
head.”
“Oh my God, shut up.”
“Mm, beautiful tits. Just wanna hold them.”
Ten minutes later Georg was snoring, incredibly loudly. It was hard to believe
he had such a beautiful singing voice where you heard his foghorn-like drunken
snores.
***** Day 3: In Which Hanschen Has Several Realisations *****
Chapter Notes
     I wrote this all on holiday where there was no internet so you can
     have all six chapters today frankly but never expect this speed of
     update again.
Hänschen woke up feeling dehydrated, with a yucky tasting mouth and a slight
headache but other than that he had fared reasonably well from his night of
excess. He went to the bathroom and downed a large glass of water, had a piss
and took an ibuprofen, then went back to bed as there were still actually
twenty minutes before he had to get up. He lay in bed on his back staring up at
the white ceiling, feeling a bit sorry for himself. On the other hand last
night had been fun so it was worth it. When his alarm went off (today’s tune
was Vltava from Ma Vlast, which was appropriate given their location) Hänschen
almost literally rolled out of bed and then began to get up. Within a short
while he was ready and dressed in his purple ‘Prague Tour’ hoodie, since it
looked to be a chilly day. He breakfasted with Wendla and Moritz, who looked a
little worse for wear. Melchior, who clearly could not handle his drink at all
had not even made it to breakfast. This gave Hänschen some satisfaction.
They got into voice part groups to travel into Prague on the metro so that they
didn’t lose each other. Melchior was team leader for the basses and they were
worried they’d never get going since he didn’t show up until just before they
were due to leave, sporting sunglasses and a wince.
“Gabor!” Hänschen yelled, “Glad you could make it.”
“Fucking arsehole.” Melchior’s wince increased in size, “Let’s go and get this
over with then.”
They headed to the metro station after Melchior distributed their tickets and
told them all pointedly not to forget to scan them. Once on the metro Hänschen
quickly found a seat. They were riding the train for quite few stops and
although he clearly felt better than Melchior the unfiltered daylight on the
way to the metro station had done nothing for his headache. Two stops before
those he had to give up his seat for an elderly woman but he was glad he’s had
it until then. When they got off a ‘Muzeum’ they were told to split into groups
of their own and make their way to the square they’d been in yesterday, with
the astronomical clock which they would meet under for their walking tour in an
hour, leaving them a while to get lunch and walk there.
Today Hänschen was grabbed by Otto and Georg and Wendla wasn’t planning on
leaving him so they ended up as a massive group and found a food chain called
‘Bageterie Boulevard’, which had been recommended by Otto’s mother who
sometimes had to work in Prague. They got their baguettes and ate them while
walking. Hänschen was in the middle of admiring Bobby Maler’s stunning body
when he noticed that Bobby was harassing Martha and Ilse about having a
threesome and was going on about how hot lesbians were while making lewd
gestures. Martha and Ilse scowled at him as they held hands. This made Hänschen
have two realisations, almost simultaneously. The first was that Martha and
Ilse were indeed gay and were quite clearly in a relationship and he was maybe
as blind Wendla said he was. It was perhaps surprising, given his own
bisexuality but it seemed he actually had no ‘gaydar’ at all. The second
realisation was no more profound but was perhaps a little more significant.
Hänschen realised that he actually deserved better than Bobby Maler, who was
almost certainly straight because no self-respecting member of the LGBT
community would harass lesbians. The guy was a total arsehole and maybe he was
fit but that didn’t actually mean he was worth the months Hänschen had spent
pining away after him pointlessly. These realisations out of the way Hänschen
felt considerably lighter as he enjoyed his baguette.
On reaching their meeting point Hänschen noted that the astronomical clock was
very impressive looking, even though he didn’t know what an astronomical clock
was. The square itself was beautiful, and even the pavement was artful as it
had black and white cobbles forming simple patterns. All the buildings were
painted in different colours and it kind of reminded Hänschen of places in
children’s cartoons and also Jane Austen. Plus behind the colourful buildings
was a sinister pair of gothic towers, which presumably belonged to a church. It
was a bit of a mismatch but Hänschen thought it was really cool, and even
though it had begun to drizzle at this point, he took the opportunity to take
lots of photos. Their tour guide, Heinz, met them and began to lead them
around, waving a large pink umbrella in the air to make them follow him.
Now, Hänschen would love it if he were the kind of person who pays attention
during and then remembered the information from tours. Unfortunately this was
not that case. The things he did remember were seeing the University, which was
apparently quite old, seeing the Charles Bridge, which was very old and very
busy and had lots of amusingly grotesque statues, and seeing the astronomical
clock. In Hänschen’s defence for not remembering it was very wet and he was
having a hard time hearing Heinz since he was near the back.
The tour had to take a break in Starbucks halfway through when it began to
absolutely pour with rain but after about half an hour it went back to
drizzling and they could continue. The one interesting titbit he did learn
(later, from Wendla who had been paying attention) was that until relatively
recently houses had not had numbers and were instead identified by carvings or
paintings that were outside, for example a house with three red fish painted on
it would be ‘the House of the Three Red Fish’. Eventually they finished their
tour at the castle, which was not a castle but a series of buildings on top of
an enormous hill. Behind a large yellow palace was St Vitus’ Cathedral, where
they would soon be performing.
Mrs Großebüstenhalter rounded them all up and took them first to the van which
contained everyone’s uniforms and the string instruments and then traipsed them
all back to the cathedral and the made them all wait around while she asked
where they were meant to be. Then she came back outside and led them all the
way round to the side of the cathedral (she went to the wrong side and they
ended up walking the whole perimeter, almost) to a building where they could
change and warm up before mass began. The fact that they only had one changing
room greatly concerned the teachers but Hänschen thought the worry was
unfounded practically everyone seemed to be gay anyway. Besides which the act
of changing clothes isn’t especially erotic anyway unless you actively try to
make it so and who would in a room full of people? Well ten minutes later,
Hänschen had his rhetorical question answered. Bobby Maler would, of course.
Hänschen didn’t mean it in a shaming way but God, Bobby was a slut. After Bobby
had been slapped with a pair of jeans by Otto to make him stop being so
ridiculous they were able to begin warming up.
The group went over to the cathedral early so they could test out the acoustic
and sort out their seating arrangements, which meant there was plenty of time
to gawp at the church. Because the soloists had to sit next to each other the
seating arrangements for everyone else were genuinely bizarre, so Hänschen
found himself sitting next to Ernst, who was a tenor even though all the other
basses were on the other side of the church. Like, what the fuck? The string
ensemble, who Hänschen still didn’t know at all were in front of the choir on
proper chairs, instead of being shoved into pews, which would be amusing but
not conducive to their playing. Hänschen was looking around the church with
interest, when he saw Ernst staring at the stained glass windows with adoration
in his eyes.
He nudged Ernst, “Lighten up Ernst, it’s only a window.”
“Sorry, it’s just don’t you think all this is so beautiful? Religion is
beautiful.”
“Well, I’m cynical about there being an almighty being who gives a shit about
my insignificant being but the church is pretty.”
“I just think it’s so amazing that people could have so much faith and
adoration for their God that they would put all this money and all those years
into building this spectacular building. You can see their love pouring out of
it.”
“Oh yeah,” Hänschen snorted incredulously. “Because the Catholic church is
famed for its love and tolerance.”
“Well yes. That’s why I’m not religious myself, not anymore but I still can’t
help but admire the beauty in it, even if it is all hypocritical and ugly,
behind the love.”
Ernst took to staring fondly at a statue of the Virgin Mary cradling Jesus and
Hänschen looked at the pure awe in his eyes and the small smile on his face and
Hänschen had his third realisation of the day. He realised that he had been so
busy pining after Bobby Maler and his flawless body that he had entirely failed
to notice the crush he had on Ernst. And Ernst was definitely worth the effort,
because he was good and kind and wasn’t straight either. Hänschen felt like he
was tingling all over at the epiphany he had just had.
Before Hänschen could really dwell too much on how great Ernst was the mass
began. He had no idea what was being said because it was all in Czech and he
also didn’t quite understand what made the moments when they stood up to sing
the appropriate moments to do so but they got through the Coronation Mass
without any trouble. The weirdest thing was that there was no applause when
they finished each movement, the priests just carried on which Hänschen had
never experienced before in a performance. After they had finished the string
ensemble played some Vivaldi as the worshippers left and then a steward came
over and told them they could look around the cathedral now it was closed, so
it would be much less busy than usual.
“Come on,” Hänschen heard Melchior say. “Let’s see how many Jesus’ we can
count!” This made Moritz laugh hysterically and God, those two just needed to
fuck already so they could stop this awkward circling each other because no way
in hell was Melchior that funny.
Hänschen went to look around with Wendla and turned to her.
“Wendla I think I like Ernst.”
“Well duh,” she replied. “I’ve known you like Ernst for ages.”
“But…but I didn’t know I liked Ernst.”
“I said you were oblivious, didn’t I?”
Then Wendla spotted King Wenceslas’ cathedral and became very excited. During
her exchange trip she had gone to England for Christmas and said that while
English Christmases did not even begin to compare to German ones she had
enjoyed some of the carols and there had been one featuring King Wenceslas. She
was amazed to discover that the man was real and she could see his tomb so she
dragged Hänschen in. The main thing to say about the chapel was that it was
very red and it was very lavishly decorated, with Wenceslas’ life story
depicted on the walls and lots of polished stone slabs. Hänschen spotted Ernst
nearly tearing up over the intricate chapel walls and smiled to himself. He and
Wendla spent so long looking around the enormous cathedral that they had to be
extracted from it by Mr Knochenbruch along with Ernst, who had been lighting a
candle for his Grandmother, a deeply religious woman who he said would have
been very angry id he had not done so.
Dinner that evening was at a monastery restaurant. It was a big, rustic room,
with enormous wooden tables and benches. They were served big slabs of meat
with pickled cabbage and dumplings and then yoghurt with a big dollop of
redcurrant jam for pudding. It was a very hearty meal and a band of traditional
instruments played in the corner. Highlights of their repertoire were Edith
Piaf and the Beatles, lowlights were ‘Oh When the Saints’ and the Birdie Song.
Periodically dancers would enter in traditional costume and entertain them with
dancing that had lots of shouts of ‘hoi’ in them. Most traditional dances were
very similar, Hänschen had found and it was mostly the dress that varied. After
a while they were all encouraged to dance so Wendla danced with Georg, Otto
with Thea, Bobby with Anna, Ilse with Martha and then Melchior asked Moritz to
dance and kissed him halfway through, which was about fucking time, thank God.
Hänschen wasn’t much for public dancing but Ernst looked so dejected so he went
and asked him to dance. Ernst’s sparkling grin absolutely made it worth it.
They did a parody of ballroom together and then joined everyone else in
recalling the few traditional German dances they had learned in kindergarten
which they still remembered. Mr Knochenbruch and Mrs Großebüstenhalter were
completely legless by this point and were singing along loudly to everything
the band played. When the time came for them to leave several students had to
lead them out of the restaurant. Hänschen went to bed tired out by the dancing
but feeling exhilarated as he had danced with Ernst and had unintentionally
began to fall for Ernst in a church, which was the most sacrilegious thing he
had ever done and it had been a total accident.
 
***** Day 4: In Which it Rains and Pours *****
Chapter Notes
     Sorry I'm being a dick to Melchior in this fic, by the way but
     frankly he is a prat and much as I love him I don't feel Hanschen
     would be a fan. Also I finally worked out how to do italics and
     stuff, which took long enough really.
Hänschen dreamed of kissing Ernst and if he wasn’t sure he was actually
crushing on Ernst or if he was crush-rebounding after Bobby then that dream
confirmed it. God, he wanted to kiss Ernst. After considering this new but not
unexpected revelation, given the discoveries of the day before Hänschen climbed
out of bed and went about the business of getting up. Otto and Georg were
getting up too and Georg complained that he had a cold, which Hänschen agreed
totally sucked but he mostly hoped he didn’t catch it. Hänschen’s mother, an
eternal worrier had sent him with several packets of tissues so he gave a
couple to Georg, who received them gratefully. Hänschen didn’t feel much like
going down to the breakfast room so he made tea using the mini kettle and ate
one of the energy bars his Mother had sent him with. After that he decided to
read his book, In Cold Blooduntil it was time to meet the group so they could
head out for the day.
 
When everyone boarded the coach Hänschen wavered for a while, unsure if he
should sit near the back with Wendla and his other friends or if he should keep
Ernst company. Ernst gestured to the seat beside him and Hänschen’s mind was
made up for him. He took the seat. Once again he and Ernst had an enjoyable
conversation on the bus but this time Hänschen felt positively bumbling because
now he liked Ernst and he wanted to impress him. About half an hour into the
journey smallish spider began to crawl across the seats and it ended up on
Ernst’s arm. Ernst turned incredibly pale and let out a small squeak.
“Ernst?” Hänschen enquired in what he hoped was concerned tone, although he was
in fact trying not to laugh. “Are you afraid of spiders?”
“I hate them.” Said Ernst, tersely.
Hänschen grinned, ready to tease. “Do you need me to hold your hand so the big
bad spider doesn’t daunt you?”
“Hm,” Said Ernst, pretending to consider. “You could hold my hand, but
alternatively you could use your courageous nature to dispose of the spider and
help out a damsel in distress.”
“What do I get if I do?”
“The knowledge that you are a kind and chivalrous person.” Ernst was po-faced.
Hänschen plucked the spider off Ernst’s arm and flicked it down the coach,
which he had to lean over Ernst to do as Ernst was in the aisle seat. All in
all, thought Hänschen it seemed very much like Ernst might be flirting with him
in the same awkward way that Hänschen was trying to flirt. That thought, in
itself was reward enough for removing the spider.
 
The first thing Hänschen noticed about Karlstejn, which was their destination,
was that there was an enormous hill, which was a little daunting at ten in the
morning.  They unloaded from the coach into brilliant sunshine so everyone got
out their sunglasses. Hänschen saw Moritz and Melchior looking pointedly at
Ernst and he really wanted Ernst to join them without getting stuck with his
friends (mostly just Melchior, though). Fortunately Wendla spotted his flailing
and said loudly,
“Ernst, you’re coming with us, aren’t you?” Hänschen beamed at her.
“Oh um, sure,” Ernst said, sounding a little surprised at being asked.
Martha and Ilse went to join Moritz and the other boys because Ilse complained
she wasn’t getting to spend enough time with her friend, which meant Hänschen,
Wendla and Ernst were joined only by Anna and Thea for their walk to the
castle, which was Karlstejn’s main attraction.
 
On the hill there were many restaurants and shops. As it was nowhere near
lunchtime they ignored the restaurants for the time being and went into an
antiques shop near the bottom of the hill. There was a lot of communist
memorabilia, and Anna considered buying an old army Officer’s cap ‘for the
bant’ but decided that €40 was too much for a joke souvenir given she had
little interest in history. They carried on up the hill, stopping to look at
various souvenir shops, including a small art gallery. They were absolutely
sweltering as they neared the top of the hill and Wendla spotted a shop selling
Trdelnik with ice cream and Nutella and suggested they stop and get one each.
Trdelnik were apparently a traditional Czech food and were essentially just a
donut tube coated in lots of sugar. With the ice cream they were absolutely
delicious. Hänschen got a large blob of chocolate ice cream on his nose which
made Ernst and Wendla laugh hysterically until Ernst wiped it off for him with
a napkin, which Hänschen thought was the cutest darn thing he’d seen. After
their break they carried on up the hill, which was remarkably steep until
eventually they reached the castle.
 
Hänschen probably would have preferred if he wasn’t sweating profusely while he
spent time with Ernst but so far they had chatted easily, continuing the same
sort of uneasy maybe flirting they had, had on the bus. But then Hänschen was
not the sort of person to whom flirting came easy. The castle was about what
you’d expect from a medieval castle, which isn’t to say it wasn’t nice but both
of Hänschen’s parents were big into history so he’d been to a lot of castles in
his time. The castle had crenelated battlements, which they walked around,
because that bit was free and they took photos of the excellent view you got
from the very top of the hill. You could see down the valley and over the tops
of all the trees in the forest, which reminded Hänschen of home, a little. In
the end they opted not to go into the castle because they were in a miserly
mood. What with all the time they’d killed looking in shops and huffing and
puffing on the way to the castle it was about lunchtime anyway so they went to
find a restaurant.
 
In the end they chose a restaurant boasting traditional Czech food. Thea,
Hänschen and Ernst had the goulash in a bread bowl on Hänschen’s recommendation
as he had enjoyed so much on their second day. Anna and Wendla had a vegetable
gnocchi, which they said was excellent. They ate their lunch slowly and had a
conversation that involved a lot of laughter because Thea had a bit of a flair
for the dramatics and was good at telling funny stories. Somehow she even
managed to make the time she was nearly suspended for knocking their headmaster
into a river a funny story, even though Hänschen had actually been there and
Thea had nearly cried the headmaster’s chastisement was so harsh. In the end
Hänschen had stepped in and got told off as well but he didn’t mind because he
hated to see the headmaster make his cousin cry for what had clearly been an
accident.
 
When they finished lunch it was about time to head back to the coach, although
everyone needed to use the loo first, which cost 10 koruna each in a strange
museum, which seemed excessive given the quality of the loos. Still, Wendla
said there was no way she’d be holding on any longer so they parted with the
extortionate sum and then got on with using the mediocre facilities they had
paid for. After that they finished their walk back down to the coach, which was
a much easier task than the walk up the hill had been, for definite. They all
piled back onto the bus so they could carry onto Breznice, where they would
perform in a castle and have dinner. Just in the nick of time too, because just
as they were beginning to board the coach the weather took a nasty turn and it
began suddenly to pour with rain.
 
When they arrived in Breznice the rain was, if anything, worse which was quite
worrying given they were meant to be doing an outdoor concert in the castle
courtyard. Fortunately the owner of the castle had been prepared for this and
an enormous tarpaulin had been set up above the stage and seating area so the
concert could still go ahead even if it carried on raining relentlessly. At the
back of the tarpaulin were tin baths to catch the drips which were already
overflowing and a small river seemed to be running through the fine gravel. The
instrument and clothing van pulled up so they didn’t have to step out from
under cover to unload it so they dumped all the music stands and instruments
and then, concert dress in hand they ran from under the tarpaulin to the
entrance of the castle. They were only exposed for about twenty seconds but
this was enough time to get totally soaked in the rain. Hänschen noticed Martha
give Ilse to use as an umbrella and he thought that maybe he did loathe
couples, but those two were the most tolerable one, for definite. Once inside
the castle they went to the top floor to get changed into their uniforms in
large rooms filled with antique furniture.
 
It was still chucking it down with rain and the string ensemble were called
down to rehearse so everyone else was told to occupy themselves for a while.
The prospect of going outside was unappealing to everyone and Hänschen asked if
anyone wanted to explore the inside of the castle with him but the only taker
was Ernst so they set off together. Really, Hänschen thought, as he walked a
little too close to Ernst so that their arms brushed, it wasn’t such a bad
thing nobody else had wanted to come. The exploration was cut rather short by
the fact that the castle owner had anticipated nosy teenagers and had locked
all the doors leading off corridors so they couldn’t get in and cause damage to
anything. On the second floor Hänschen stopped by an open window, through which
the faint noises of the string ensemble could be just about heard over the
thunderous pounding of the rain.
“It’s very wet.” Ernst noted, wringing his hands. Hänschen thought Ernst might
be nervous too and this comforted him. “If it carries on,” Ernst continued.
“Then the audience probably won’t be able to hear us play over the noise of it.
And we’ll get out uniforms wet.”
Hänschen really did not care about the rain. And so, mostly because he wanted
Ernst to stop babbling he kissed him, instead. As he kissed Ernst, Hänschen
could hear the rain pounding and that was fucking loud but not as loud as his
heartbeat. Their lips slid together and Hänschen kissed Ernst slowly, because
he wanted to savour this moment.
“I’m sorry,” he said to Ernst as he pulled away, “But the rain was a really
very boring topic.”
When Ernst spoke he sounded breathless, “That was much more interesting.” He
paused. “I’ve liked you since forever, Hänschen, you’ve no idea. You’re pretty
much the only crush I’ve ever had.”
“Oh.” Said Hänschen, surprised at the idea anyone might like him that much for
so long. And then Hänschen did not say anything else because Ernst leant in
quickly and kissed him wildly, passionately. This time was not careful or to be
savoured. This was tongues and teeth and lips, clashing together in the most
wonderful way. Hänschen had sort of expected Ernst to be the cautious one but
within a minute or two he had Hänschen pressed up against the wall as he
continued his determined campaign to make Hänschen pass out by kissing him so
expertly. Ernst’s knee was pressed up between Hänschen’s thigh and Jesus
Christ, that was excellent.
 
There was a loud giggle from behind the pair and Ernst pulled away from
Hänschen quickly. Hänschen scowled at Wendla, who was the offending
interruption in what had really been the best kissing of his life.
 “I hate to interrupt,” Wendla said, looking as she anything but hated it, “But
choir are about to rehearse and I didn’t think you’d want to miss it. It’s just
the German folk songs today so the music’s already down there.” Wendla scuttled
away and Ernst gave Hänschen an embarrassed smile. They held hands as they
walked downstairs but Hänschen let go just before they went outside, because it
sucked but not everyone in their school was very accepting. He pulled slightly
ahead of Ernst to go out the doorway and then Ernst gave a loud gasp.
“Oh my God, Hänschen what’s that on your back?” he exclaimed.
“What?” Hänschen craned his neck and saw his back was covered in a large amount
of a white powdery substance. “What the hell is that?”
“I don’t know. Hang on.” Ernst walked over to the wall and rubbed his hand on
it. The same white substance came off. “Oh Lord, the walls are painted with
lime. It comes off if you touch it but it’s very traditional.”
Hänschen looked at Ernst indignantly, “Well what am I meant to do? Knowing its
traditional isn’t a great comfort when I’m fucking covered in it.”
“Come here.” Ernst laughed and instead went over to Hänschen and began roughly
brushing off the lime. After a minute he said, “that’ll have to do, let’s get
to the rehearsal. I think we’ve both learned not to lean against walls while
making out at inappropriate times.”
“Both? You only got a tiny bit on your knee!” Ernst shook his head fondly and
they went to join the others for their rehearsal. Wendla giggled a bit at
Hänschen’s half grey uniform but everyone else seemed to kindly ignore it.
 
About halfway through their rehearsal the rain let up a little, which was a
relief as the sound of the rain on the tarpaulin had drowned out the noise of
the performers when it was fully torrential and they’d all been beginning to
wonder if there was any point doing the concert. During their wind band
rehearsal Ernst kept bumping knees with Hänschen and even though there was
still a flood in the courtyard and his back was covered in lime and the stage
was too small so the trombone player kept hitting him in the head with his
sliding thing he was pretty sure that nothing could ruin this day. When they’d
finished rehearsing everyone who wasn’t singing went to get a seat in the
audience and the choir formed up so they could perform. Hänschen had fully
expected their audience to consist only of the other pupils of the school but a
few people came and there were several parents who’d come all the way to
Breznice to see their children perform, which Hänschen thought was excessive.
He didn’t think his parents would even think to offer to come and see him.
 
The concert went smoothly, except for when the trombone player got so
enthusiastic that he knocked Hänschen into his music stand, which fell over and
hit Thea, who was playing the flute in front of him. Fortunately it was in a
bit when the flutes and saxophones weren’t playing so they quickly set things
right and got on with the show. They were also having dinner in Breznice and
the restaurant was very rustic, it was in fact a large old barn that had been
converted. Hänschen sat with Ernst, Moritz, Melchior, Ilse and Martha at a
large wooden table. Hänschen came to the realisation that he was sitting at a
couples table and if that wasn’t obnoxious he didn’t know what was. Before
their food arrived Hänschen held hands with Ernst under the table. Ernst’s
hand, he decided, was just about perfect because it was warm but not sweaty and
it was slightly rough, which Hänschen knew was because Ernst liked gardening
and picturing Ernst in a garden with a trowel and a floppy hat was just too
wonderful of an image for Hänschen to cope. Dinner arrived and although he was
hungry Hänschen was a little sad because it meant he had to let go of Ernst’s
hand. The meal itself was relatively average but Hänschen enjoyed Ernst’s
company so much that he didn’t actually care a great deal about the food or
about the fact that he was enduring the company of Melchior ‘my biggest
inspiration is Freud, how about you?’ Gabor.
 
Dinner finished at around ten pm and they boarded the coach as quickly as they
could, because the coach driver was beginning to get pissy about driving them
back late. To make matters worse in the appeasing of the coach driver they did
a loud and unprofessional singalong all the way back, mostly of songs from
musicals. Hänschen joined in loudly with all the songs he knew but was
surprised that Ernst was silent. On discovering that this was because Ernst
didn’t like musicals Hänschen nearly haemorrhaged. Didn’t like musicals?
Impossible. Hänschen informed Ernst that h was going to make him watch musicals
with him anyway to which Ernst gave a resigned sigh. Serves him right, thought
Hänschen, for disliking musicals. When the coach pulled in at the hotel at
eleven the harrowed looking bus driver ushered them off and then the teachers
sent them straight to bed. Hänschen gave Ernst one final, all too brief kiss
outside his room and then they both went to bed.
 
***** Day 5: In Which Hanschen Makes Noises for Several Reasons *****
Chapter Notes
     This is the explicit chapter. If you want to skip that bit then it's
     when they take their encounter to the changing rooms and then it's
     about two paragraphs-ish.
This was it, the final full day of tour. The day kicked off with a long coach
ride, and God Hänschen would not mind waving goodbye to this coach when they
got back home. They were going to Aquapalace, which was apparently the biggest
water park in Central Europe, which frankly isn’t much of an achievement but it
was still going to be fun. When they arrived at the water park (which was built
in a truly picturesque retail park, what a view) they were given their
wristbands and sent into the changing rooms. Hänschen changed quickly into his
trunks, which had been bought for him by his mother so were bright blue with a
pink and yellow hibiscus pattern. Garish trunks in place he went and put his
stuff in a locker and then made his way through to the watery bit of the park.
Biggest water park in Central Europe may not mean much but it was still pretty
darned big. He saw Ernst perusing a map and walked over, slinging his arm
around him as he stood beside him.
“So Ernst, where to first?” He asked.
“Well,” Ernst pondered, “I really want to do the funnel ride.”
Hänschen looked at the diagram of the funnel ride and gulped, “maybe we could
build up to that ride. Why don’t we start with that one?” He pointed at a black
and white ride that went down in a tight spiral that you required a rubber ring
for.
“Okay, sounds good.” Said Ernst and they went and got rubber rings then joined
the queue for the ride. Hänschen was pretty sure there was no way he was doing
the funnel ride.
Hänschen had been so busy with choosing a ride that wouldn’t make him squeal so
he didn’t seem like a total wimp to Ernst that he hadn’t actually taken a
chance to check Ernst out. He did so and was not disappointed. In the trashy
books Hänschen read the men were generally toned and even if they were just
teenagers their bodies looked surprisingly old and developed. This was not the
case with Ernst. Ernst looked much like any other skinny teenage boy but the
point was that he was Ernst and Hänschen really liked him so to him he was as
gorgeous as like, Chris Evans or someone. Plus Ernst had freckles on his back
and arms and Hänschen totally had a thing for freckles, okay. And he also loved
that Ernst’s swimming trunks were as dorky as his own because Ernst had Finding
Nemo trunks which was just so cute Hänschen could no longer function. He
grabbed Ernst’s hand and they held hands until they reached the ride. Ernst
went first with a cry of joy and then Hänschen went second, despite being
slightly apprehensive about all water rides. When he reached the bottom there
was a huge splash and he gave a wholly unmanly shriek, which made Ernst snort
with laughter where he was waiting for him.
After the first ride Ernst made Hänschen do the rapids ride, which was one of
the only ones where you could go at the same time and enjoy it (or not, as the
case may be) together. Now Hänschen is not a wimp, and he would like that on
record but the rapids ride was absolutely terrifying. You whizzed around at a
relatively high speed, bumping into anyone and anything that came into your
path and at several moments Hänschen was fairly sure he was going to drown and
had just about accepted his fate when his head would pop up above the water
again and he would live for another few minutes. Hänschen did not scream on the
ride because to do so would have been to ingest a large volume of chlorinated
water and as Hänschen had no desire to vomit he kept his mouth firmly shut and
tried not to die. Ernst, on the other hand, was having a whale of a time. He
laughed every time he bruised himself, and shouted loudly at Hänschen, “this is
so awesome” at least three times. Hänschen thought they’d have to agree to
disagree. At the end of the ride Ernst kissed him softly.
“You didn’t enjoy that did you?”
“Definitely not.”
“So I’m scared of spiders and you’re scared of water park rides.”
“No, I mostly think they’re okay it’s just I’m fairly sure I’ve swallowed a
litre of pool water and I have about twenty bruises after that one.”
“Don’t worry,” Ernst smiled “I won’t make you go on it again. Now let’s do the
others.”
A few hours later and Hänschen and Ernst had been on all the rides at least
once and fit in lunch. Except the funnel ride, which Ernst insisted Hänschen
had to do, or he’d regret it. They were waiting in the queue and Hänschen
thought he might actually regret doing the ride instead. The funnel ride was
basically an exceptionally steep slide which went into what was basically an
enormous funnel and you spun around the bowl of the funnel a few times then
dropped through the spout for about a metre into a pool below. Eventually
Hänschen’s turn came and Ernst made him go first so he couldn’t chicken out.
And fuck, this was awful, Hänschen thought as he hurtled down the dark slide at
a nauseating speed. Then he flew out into the bowl and after he’d recovered
from the horror that was the slide the bowl was actually pretty fun as he span
around and around. He dropped into the pool headfirst, which wasn’t preferable
but the ride had been surprisingly not bad and Ernst had been right, he felt
pretty good about himself for having managed to do it. He swam over to the side
of the pool and waited for Ernst to drop. Ernst fell with even less grace than
Hänschen and he swam over, wild eyed.
“Hänschen that was fucking awesome!” He exclaimed as they got out the pool.
“Not quite the word I’d use but I’m glad you had fun.” Hänschen took Ernst by
the hand and they went up to a viewing platform to watch others flail in the
funnel.
“Aren’t you glad you did it, though?” Ernst asked, as a small boy shrieked
below them.
“Yeah, I am actually.” The small boy plopped into the pool.
“I said you would be. I’m basically always right.”
“Indeed, you’re perfect.” Hänschen was taken aback with how sincerely he’d said
this but he did think it was true. Ernst turned to Hänschen and smiled and
then, Hänschen wasn’t entirely sure who leaned in but they were kissing and
even though he and Ernst both tasted of chlorine it was perfect. He heard a
whoop and opened his eyes to see Otto and Thea giving him the thumbs up as they
waited in a queue. He waved without pulling away and then returned his full
attention to the task at hand. Ernst pulled Hänschen’s body flush with his and
he could feel that Ernst was starting to get hard, which made him start to get
hard and this was not a good position to be in, in such an elevated public
place. They were on show to anyone and everyone.
“Ernst,” he said, pulling away reluctantly. “What say you we move this
encounter to one of the changing cubicles?”
“Yes.” Ernst breathed, his voice husky and urgent.
The pair walked swiftly in the direction of the changing cubicles, trying to
look like anything but two teenage boys who were off to mess around in a semi-
public environment but in all honesty probably failing. Hänschen dragged Ernst
through rows of cubicles until he reached and empty one and they quickly went
inside and locked the door. Hänschen resumed kissing Ernst and this time
involved tongue, now they were alone. He impatiently ran his hands over Ernst’s
chest, back, arms, anything, he just couldn’t get enough of touching the boy.
Ernst, for his part moved his hands down to rest on Hänschen’s ass and God,
that was nice. He pulled Hänschen’s crotch against his own and the feeling of
Ernst’s hardness rubbing against his own made Hänschen groan luxuriously.
Hänschen moved to kiss Ernst’s neck and nipping a particular part of his
collarbone made Ernst groan in a way that was just so arousing. Then Ernst
moved his hand from Hänschen’s backside to cup him and Hänschen thought he was
going to explode. He groaned loudly, louder than was safe in these changing
rooms. Hänschen whispered to Ernst what he wanted to do to him and Ernst let
out another breathy moan and Hänschen would definitely never get enough of
those noises.
Ernst nodded his consent so Hänschen pulled down Ernst’s trunks and even though
he’d never sucked anyone off before he decided the way to go about was to be
direct so he put Ernst’s cock in his mouth. It was a little overwhelming really
because Ernst was making yet more noises and sucking dick was a revelation,
quite frankly and Hänschen had a need to be doing this, almost a hunger but not
the kind that meant he was in danger of biting Ernst’s dick off. Hänschen began
to stroke himself in time to his oral movements and soon Ernst came. Hänschen
swallowed for lack of anywhere to spit but he couldn’t say semen was brilliant
tasting. Ernst pulled him up and kissed him, hard and he moaned into Hänschen’s
mouth even though he must have been tasting his own cum there. He then moved
Hänschen’s hand off his cock and began to give him a handjob, which was yet
another revelation that would almost make Hänschen believe there had to be a
God if God didn’t condemn fun shit like this. God, Ernst’s hand was so much
better than his. Soon Hänschen came too, into Ernst’s hand. They stood there
breathless for a moment, covered in pool water and sweat and cum before
Hänschen opened the cubicle door and peeped out.
Honestly Ernst and Hänschen must have been the luckiest bastards in the world
because there was nobody standing outside the cubicle waiting to throw them out
and there wasn’t anyone about to spot them leaving the cubicle. They went and
got their towels and shower kits from their respective lockers and walked to
the men’s showers. Further proof that they were lucky bastards was that
everyone else was in the showers too and they had conveniently finished having
sex right about when they needed to think about getting changed. In fact nobody
apart from Moritz, who gave them a knowing smirk seemed to notice their messed
up appearance that was definitely not from having an innocent water fight in
the swimming pool. Hänschen scrubbed himself particularly thoroughly with his
shower gel and shampooed his hair, not just because he didn’t want to smell of
sex but also because he didn’t wasn’t to smell of swimming pool because they
were headed straight to their next concert after this.
They left the water park at three and drove back into Prague, to the National
Museum of Music, which was where their performance would take place. However
they were also looking around the museum in the hours beforehand. On the ground
floor of the museum there was an exhibit on a famous violinist called Josef
Suk, who none of them had ever hear of. The most interesting part of the
exhibit was the toy car collection he had owned and a treble clef shaped
Scaletrix track. Hänschen beat both Ernst and Wendla at the toy car racing.
Hänschen felt he’d definitely neglected Wendla so far that day so he went
around the museum with her, mostly although Ernst was always nearby, even if it
was with his other friends. The main exhibit of the museum was loads of
different musical instruments, of varying levels of weirdness. Otto nearly
haemorrhaged with joy over the brass instruments but everyone else had a more
measured reaction. Wendla made Hänschen pose for photos with nearly everything,
including for a selfie with Josef Suk, even if none of them had heard of him.
When Hänschen saw the bust of Josef Suk he made a comment about who he’d like
to be ‘Suking’ in English which made Wendla giggle loudly. Ernst asked him what
he meant and Hänschen blushed profusely as he explained, which made Wendla
laugh all the more. Hänschen’s favourite instruments were a grand piano with
pearlescent keys and tortoiseshell wood, which was honestly beautiful and also
some amusingly shaped woodwind instruments.
When they finished looking at the museum they stepped into the central atrium
to see a huge kerfuffle.
“What do you mean you’ve lost your voice?” Shrieked Mrs Großebüstenhalter.
“I’m sorry,” Georg was croaking, “it was hoarse yesterday and I thought it
might improve but today it’s totally gone. I think the chlorine worsened it.”
By the end he was just barely whispering.
Mrs Großebüstenhalter swivelled round to where Hänschen and the others were
standing. “Ernst, you’re the understudy, you’ll have to step in for the tenor
solo.”
“What?” Ernst squeaked.
“You do know the solos?”
“Yes, of course. It’s just unexpected.” Ernst sounded a little distant as he
spoke.
Ernst was whisked off by Mrs Großebüstenhalter to practice and the others went
to get changed. By the time of the concert Ernst seemed a lot less nervous.
String Ensemble performed first and then the choir filed in behind them ready
to do a selection of movements from the mass, followed by two of the German
folk songs. When Ernst began to sing with the other soloists, Hänschen had his
breath taken away. Ernst voice was clear and sweet and why they picked Georg
over him Hänschen had no idea. At the end of the mass Hänschen was so proud of
Ernst that he forgot they were in the middle of a formal concert and, as he was
standing behind Ernst he swivelled him round and planted a kiss firmly on his
lips. Mrs Großebüstenhalter scowled, Ernst blushed enormously and Wendla and
Moritz cheered. Slightly abashed, Hänschen pulled away and they carried on
singing. He knew he’d be thoroughly ticked off afterwards but Ernst had been
truly perfect, like he always was. Band did their usual repertoire and then
their last concert of the tour was done. A few people actually started crying
which struck Hänschen as being overly sentimental. After enduring a lecture
from Mrs Großebüstenhalter Hänschen returned to his friends and was slightly
surprised to discover that he and Ernst being an item was a surprise to
literally no-one.
“You really weren’t subtle, like at all.” Said Otto, rolling his eyes.
Before returning to the hotel they all went to a bowling alley, where everyone
had a lot of fun, particularly because Wendla somehow managed to convince the
bartender to give them vodka and coke instead of plain coke (it was her tits,
let’s be real) so by the time they had finished they were more than a little
tipsy. This definitely affected their bowling scores as Hänschen, who won only
scored sixty three and Thea, who was in dead last scored just five points.
After yet another lecture, this time for being too uproarious the tour awards
were handed out by Bobby Maler. Bobby himself was awarded ‘most PDA’ and Ernst
got the ‘best solo’ award for stepping in last minute. Sadly there was no ‘most
pretentious git’ award so Melchior had to go without an award. Hänschen didn’t
win an award, except for he and Ernst being nominated for most PDA and cutest
couple (went to Martha and Ilse obviously) but Wendla assured him that had
there been a ‘most oblivious’ award he would have won it. After the awards they
headed back to the hotel and went to bed there for the last time.
 
***** Day 6: In Which Tour Ends, but Something Else Begins *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Hänschen woke up feeling slightly melancholy and he knew it was because he was
heading home. And yet he also felt happier than he’d felt most of the year,
which on review had actually been entirely shit so Ernst was about the only
good thing to happen to him this year. Hänschen pushed those honest, emotional
thoughts to the side of his head, embarrassed and got out of bed and got
dressed for the last day in the room. They were loading the coach up with their
luggage and instruments and then, before the long drive home they had some free
time in which to explore Prague.
Hänschen ate breakfast with Ernst that morning in the dining hall. Ernst asked
Hänschen if he also wanted a napkin full of cheese and bread for later in the
day. Hänschen said no and got on with eating his croissant while Ernst
surreptitiously got himself extra food. After breakfast Hänschen returned
reluctantly to his room to pack his suitcase. Over the week his clothes and
toiletries had spread themselves all over the room so he, Georg and Otto spent
a good half hour throwing their stuff at each other and bundling it into their
suitcases. Once they’d got everything packed up they gave the room a final once
over and then took their bags and instruments downstairs to where everyone was
congregating in the lobby. Once everyone was there they made their way to the
coach, helped the driver load their stuff and then boarded.
Hänschen resolved to spend the day with Wendla apart from the journey home so
he went to sit with her on the coach. On their way to the centre of Prague they
had a merry singalong with Wendla leading them in a rousing chorus of
‘Milkshake’. On arriving at the point they were being dropped off at they all
got into groups. Instead of splitting up Hänschen found that pretty much
everyone in his year was in a massive group with him. Melchior led them to the
Museum of Sex Machines, which he apparently wanted to visit desperately.
Typical Gabor, he tried to make out it was something to do with investigating a
theory on shame rather because he was a fucking pervert. When they got there
Melchior had a ginormous sulk because it was eighteen plus and the oldest any
of them was, was seventeen and only about two people had fake IDs, which was
insufficient to get them all in. Nobody else minded a great deal and they went
to an Andy Warhol exhibition instead and they bought Melchior a cannabis
flavoured lollipop to cheer him up, which he said tasted like grass cuttings
but he ate it anyway.
“Modern art is shit.” Said Wendla, looking at one of Warhol’s Marilyns.
“Too true.” Agreed Hänschen. At that point Gabor bustled over.
“This is so meaningful, just look at the colour. I fins the way he used Marilyn
over and over so interesting.” He said, although he was obviously bullshitting.
Gabor had dropped art at the earliest opportunity because he kept failing it.
“Looks more like Warhol had a massive crush on Marilyn Monroe.” Wendla replied.
“Who doesn’t?” Said Hänschen. Both Melchior and Wendla nodded, in enthusiastic
agreement. At that point they realised a large crowd of Japanese tourists were
glaring at them for hogging the picture so they moved on. After they had
exhausted the Andy Warhol exhibition they wandered about Prague to do general
sightseeing and souvenir buying.
After buying their midmorning snack of some ice cream they quite fortunately
stumbled upon the astronomical clock just before it chimed the hour. The clock
did a strange display where the figures around the clock face moved around by
shaking their heads and stuff. Hänschen recalled being told it had some
symbolic meaning but he couldn’t actually remember what it was. Then the group
climbed the clock tower, which had an excellent view from the top even if Georg
did nearly pass out from all the steps. They had baguettes for lunch which they
ate while walking around and looking at various buildings and taking photos. In
a souvenir shop they got various items. Wendla bought Hänschen and herself
matching t-shirts with the Czech flag on and Hänschen bought a snow globe,
because his parents collected them avidly. He also bought Wendla a set of
Russian dolls which were designed to look like owls because she thought awls
were very cute (she had told him this at least ten times). Ernst bought some
postcards, which he said he would stick in his postcard album. Once again,
Ernst was a total nerd but really, it endeared Hänschen to him. Sadly after the
purchase of their souvenirs it was time to make their way back to the coach,
which caused tears from some (not Wendla, though. There was a reason she was
Hänschen’s best friend).
Hänschen sat with Ernst for the journey home and spent much of his time cursing
the teachers for being so close because he would have liked to have done some
canoodling, to put it candidly. He could hear Wendla leading everyone in
Rammstein songs at the back of the bus and he sort of wished he could be with
them but he knew Ernst felt a lot less ill at the front and they had lots to
talk about anyway. About two hours into their journey the road got quite bumpy.
And twisty. Ernst turned quiet and green and before Hänschen could say ‘are you
alright’ Ernst had vomited all over himself and Hänschen. Hänschen looked down
at the sick and felt slightly queasy himself..
“Oh my God, Oh my God, I’m so sorry, that’s so gross, oh my God,” Ernst
blustered. Weirdly Hänschen found he didn’t care all that much.
“It’s okay Ernst,” he said, “It wasn’t your fault.” And it actually was okay.
This was when Hänschen realised he was actually properly falling in love with
Ernst. He told him.
“Oh! Well, maybe now isn’t the best time. We should tell the teachers. About
the sick, not the falling in love.”
They stopped at the first service station they came to and clothes were
retrieved for Hänschen and Ernst from their suitcases. After changing their
clothes and washing their shoes they both felt much cleaner and generally more
pleasant. Ernst turned to Hänschen.
“I’m falling in love with you too, you know.”
“Oh?” Hänschen could hardly breathe.
“Yeah, most definitely. I just didn’t want to say when I was all vomity. Hang
on, I need to buy one of those toothbrush capsules because I really, really
want to kiss you right now but my mouth still tastes of vomit, which is
disgusting and would ruin it.”
Ernst bought and used the toothbrush capsule and then kissed Hänschen, who
could not stop beaming. After a moment of two of blissful kissing they decided
they’d better not hold everyone up any longer.
Mr Knochenbruch gave them plastic bags, which they put their soiled clothes
into and then shoved them in the hold so the whole coach didn’t smell of
anything worse than cheap disinfectant. Then they got back on the road ad this
time Ernst was given an enormous stack of paper bags for just in case, but he
better for the rest of the journey. When they arrived back at school both their
parents were waiting there to get them.
“Hey Hänschen, was your trip good?” Asked his mother.
“Yeah, it was great.” Hänschen said, looking behind his shoulder and waving at
Ernst and Wendla who were reuniting with their families. Just as he was about
to turn round and leave, Ernst ran over to him.
“Sorry again about vomiting on you. But, um, call me. Maybe we could meet at
the vineyard or something? We could have a picnic.” Ernst looked at him
hopefully and Hänschen knew that while music tour was ending his thing with
Ernst was only just beginning.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll call you.”
Chapter End Notes
     Fuck this chapter, my dudes. I hate endings and I suck at them. Also,
     thanks for making it this far with my mediocre fanfic. You go!
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