Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/3390509.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      One_Direction_(Band), Louis_Tomlinson_-_Fandom, Harry_Styles_-_Fandom
  Relationship:
      Harry_Styles/Original_Female_Character(s), Louis_Tomlinson/Original
      Female_Character(s), Zayn_Malik/Original_Female_Character(s), Niall
      Horan/Original_Female_Character(s), Liam_Payne/Original_Female_Character
      (s)
  Character:
      Harry_Styles, Louis_Tomlinson, Zayn_Malik, Liam_Payne, Niall_Horan, Anne
      Cox, India_Eisley, Kimberly_j_Brown, Original_Female_Character(s),
      Original_Character, Jay_Tomlinson, The_Tomlinson_Family, The_Styles
      Family, Gemma_Styles, Des_Styles, Eva_Davis, Delilah_Chase, Debbie
      Jacobs, The_Horan_Family
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, High_School, Teen_Romance, Teenagers,
      Teen_Angst, Angst, Drama, Humor, Comedy, Romantic_Comedy, Food_Fight,
      Food, Students, Student_Harry, Student_Louis, Loneliness, outcast,
      misfist, Making_Out, Out_of_Character, Alternate_Universe, AU, OC, OFC_-
      Freeform, OCF_-_Freeform, First_Time, First_Kiss, POV_First_Person, First
      Meetings, First_Love, First_Dates, First_Crush, Awkward_First_Times,
      Adolescent_Sexuality, Sexuality, Smut, Sensuality, Sexual_Content,
      Explicit_Sexual_Content, Sex, Unresolved_Sexual_Tension, Sexual_Tension,
      Implied_Sexual_Content, Relationship(s), Boyfriends, Girlfriends_-
      Freeform, Dating, clerks, Pain, POV_Female_Character, POV_Male_Character,
      Student_Zayn, Art_Student_Zayn, Student_Niall, Harry_Styles_Flirts,
      Flirting, Awkward_Flirting, Drunkenness, Drunken_Confessions, Bullying,
      Drunken_Flirting, Funny, High_School_Student_Harry, High_School_Student
      Louis, Angst_and_Fluff_and_Smut, Fluff_and_Smut, Dreams, Rating:_NC17,
      Work_In_Progress, Explicit_Language, Gratuitous_Smut
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-02-19 Updated: 2015-05-03 Chapters: 38/? Words: 89511
****** Temptations ******
by prismdreams
Summary
     temp·ta·tion noun
     1: the act of tempting or the state of being tempted especially to
     evil: enticement
     2 :something tempting: a cause or occasion of enticement
     Eva Davis didn't think anything interesting would happen her senior
     year at John Adams High,
     she thought workloads of homework, teachers from hell and class
     speeches were the worst of high school.
     That is until she crossed paths with a few charismatic imports.
     How is she going to deal with all the temptations?
     Jump into the deep end or sink fast before controlling her hormonal
     urges?
***** Chapter 1 *****
Eva

I opened one eye and realized my alarm clock wouldn't shut up. My hand slammed
down with a force on the snooze button. Damn. Fuck. One of these days I'm gonna
break it.

Not again. It can only mean one thing: back to school. The first day is always
a confusing for everyone. Even for people who say they have it all figured out.
But in my eyes, it's just another day I have to get through. I lump through it
barely aware.

I am finally going to be a senior and you can just hear my excitement from
miles away. It's supposed to be the best year of high school, so people keep
saying, but if you go to John Adams High, you know it's nothing special.

Honestly I was never a fan of school. I always thought it was a prison filled
with zombies and hormonal teenagers.

Let's not exclude the bullying. When I was a freshman, I felt invisible. In
high school, it's all about having confidence. You have that and things get
smooth sailing from then on. Having a pretty face doesn't hurt either.

I managed to secure a few people who were on my side. One of them stayed truer
to the rest: my best friend Delilah.

Come to think of it, I realized she was probably up by now and I can expect her
to be waiting outside in half an hour. I thought about sending her a text but
she is more prompt than I'll ever dream to be.

Ugh. I hate this. Fuck. It's the same story every semester. I keep thinking
something exciting will happen, but it never does. I pulled my long brown locks
out of my eyes and hit my head against my pillow in a huff. I dragged my body
out of bed and attempted to get ready for the boredom I'll be walking into. I
hope they at least change the cafeteria menu. Some of that shit has been around
since the school first opened.

I stripped off my PJs and stepped into a warm shower. Not scolding but warm.
Nice. Yes, this is a good feeling. I like when showers are this temperature.
Just warm enough. It almost makes me not want to leave them. But alas, some
good things come to an end. I rinsed the remainder of soap from my body and my
hair came last.

I have a lot of hair, big volumes of it so I have to normally maintain it, my
mom would be so proud. She supposedly had a lot too. She walked out on my dad
when I was barely one. Of course I have no memories of her and don't plan on
contacting her so it's fine.

I sullenly stepped out of the shower and into an awaiting fuzzy towel. My long
chocolate hair was pulled into another towel and twisted on top of my head. I
towel dried my hair the best I could. Don't wanna catch a cold.

After I dressed, I jogged down the stairs, tying my damp hair into a ponytail.
I thought, fuck it. Who am I trying to impress anyway? I've been a ponytail and
bun girl for as long as I can remember. I think I'm just too lazy to style it.
I noticed my dad had the morning news switched on the TV and breakfast already
made by the time I came into the kitchen. I love my dad. I feel sorry for him
sometimes. I know he still hangs on to the memory, or rather, the good memory
of my mother but he doesn't accept that she's really gone. I walked over and
hugged him, kissing his cheek.

"Morning dad."

He pulled away from the news and looked at me. He looked at my hair, running
his hand through the semi wet ends and giving me a warm smile. "Evie, morning.
It's your first day, right?"

Did he have to mention it like it requires a parade? "Yep, don't wanna be late.
De is waiting for me soon. Thanks for making breakfast."

My dad paused for a moment and watched me serve myself eggs, bacon, pancakes
and toast with butter. My favorite. I sat down next to him, aimlessly glancing
at the screen, picking at my food; which smelled delicious. I dove right in,
couldn't help myself.

I started thinking about today, I don't know why but I kept thinking today was
different. It's just another school day. I closed down those thoughts and took
a long sip of my OJ to distract myself.

"I'm working a later shift today so I can't come to pick you up. I'm sorry
honey." My dad said gently.

I sighed outwardly as well as on the inside. "It's OK, I'll carpool with De.
I'm sure her mom will be fine with it."

Ouch. I caught myself. I said the word. I placed down my fork, wiped my mouth
with a napkin and wrapped my arms around my dad's shoulders. He took my hands,
removing them gently. "It's OK honey. I know."

"So do I." I mean that. Even though she did walk out and my dad rarely says
why, I still think about it. I think about why a lot. What really happened that
made him hold on this long. Even the word makes my dad feel uneasy. I have to
be more careful next time.

I awkwardly ate my food, glancing at my dad. He took my free hand, holding it.
"You don't have to worry, it's alright." I knew it wasn't but I nodded, smiling
all the same.

My dad was surprisingly more sensitive than other dads I've seen. I learned not
to question so much and enjoy what I have in my life. It's not perfect but it's
mine. My dad means everything to me and I feel very protective over him since
it's just the two of us here in this obsolete house.

I stood up when I was halfway done and rinsed my plate in the sink. I pulled my
denim jacket off the couch, swinging it around my shoulders. It was a bit
chilly in the morning so I wore layers and kept things simple. I also wore very
little make-up since it's a pain in the ass to constantly reapply. Plus I'm a
fan of food and make-up messes up my cravings.

I heard a noise outside. I went out to look through the window and saw a moving
truck parked next door with a few helpers carrying boxes of all kinds and
furniture as well. When did we get new neighbors? Were they weird? Nice?
Private? Odd. It was probably nothing. Well, I guess welcome to Boresville,
California.

I shook my head, turning around, noticing my dad pack up his usual belongings
before he heads out. I took that as my cue to do the same. I gathered my bag
pack filled with new supplies and started to walk out the door. I turned around
and called out, "Bye dad, have a good day at work. See you later."

I distantly heard him say something like, "See you later and have fun."

Have fun? Yeah, that's the understatement of the year. I'll try but nothing
ever gives.

I walked down the street to the usual spot Delilah picks me up and sat on the
bus bench. I moved my eyes to both sides and saw Louis Tomlinson, the hottest
guy in our neighborhood piling into his sports car with some friends from
school. His messy brown hair was again in his face, hiding those gorgeous
dreamlike eyes of his. I must have been staring again for a long ass time
because he looked up, catching me looking at him and gave me a small wave. I
smiled and returned the wave. He was distracting and sometimes I didn't like
it. But he wasn't those hot-guy-jerk types so I figured it was OK just to be
friendly. I did love looking at him though. It was the best part of my day for
the last 3 years of high school. Nothing ever came of between us, we were just
acquaintances. He wasn't a jock and I appreciated that because our school was
cluttered with jock meat heads chasing girls, moreover, cheerleader types daily
and it irritated me. Louis was a drama geek. I only heard of the plays he did
because he was a hit with the drama crowd and would speak at the pep rallies I
was forced to attend promoting the event. Louis was a cool cat. I decided to
stop staring and keep my eyes pealed for De.

I looked around and saw no traces of De's mom's car anymore. I shrugged and
took out my phone, shooting her a text saying where I was. I instantly got a
reply saying she'll be right there.

Our neighborhood was quiet and clean. That's how I see it. It's nearly
Pleasantville but everything was in color and we weren't listening to 50's
music and wearing poodle shirts.

Yep, this is my life. I heard a car drive by and saw about 4 of the most
popular girls in our school packed in like sardines. The ring leader looked
over at me with disdain and I just narrowed my eyes back at her. Hardly anyone
at our school stands up to these wastoids but I'm not intimidated by their
antics. I liked being brunette and myself and I wasn't going to let the bulimic
crew tarnish that.

It's pretty easy to be "popular" nowadays. All you have to do is the following:
be a really good bully, make the cheer leading squad and develop an eating
disorder of your choice and last but not least, follow the leader around like a
puppy stalking bacon bits. I couldn't fit in even though they wanted me to.
Mainly because I don't push around people out of insecurity, hate cheer leading
with a passion and I love food too much and cant stand throwing it up. The
stick legs is what I call them. It suits them perfectly.

So as you can see, it'd be impossible for me to matriculate with those people.
I still can't believe bullies exist to this day, what with people getting it
online or in plain sight. I'll never understand the sick pleasures of torturing
someone else for being who they are. I gave a wave back nevertheless. It surely
pissed off Debbie Jacobs, the leader of the pack the most. She really wanted me
to join her clique but I wasn't having it. She rolled her eyes at me, laughed
at something her lackey friend said and drove off leaving skid marks behind.

"When will those whores learn?" I said softy to myself.

Another car pulled up and it was Louis'. Damn that boy. He glanced at me,
licking his lips. "Need a ride, love?"

That sexy husky accent made me melt as much as the first time I heard it. My
hair was pulled back in a staunch ponytail, shit, I couldn't hide the pinkness
creeping up on my cheeks. I shyly looked away, then back at him. "No, I'm good.
I'll see you at school."

He nodded, an amused look over his features as he looked to the road. His
friend, Liam Payne was glancing my way, flashing a sly smile. God, all these
boys are like butter. The drama crowd was probably the most intense but nicest
group at our school. They were always welcoming of outsiders. New kids are
normally accepted. Unless you play a sport then it's a different shebang.

"Right then, see you at school." He said, his eyes stayed on me right before he
drove off.

I sighed deeply. My thighs unwounded themselves slowly. Why did certain body
parts of mine always close off whenever he spoke to me?

Oh well, nothing is going to come of that. I bit my lip, checking the time on
my phone.

I wonder what's keeping De. She normally is outside waiting for me and I was
the late one.

"Evie." I knew who would stretch the "e" in my name and she hollered over to
me. I got up and ran over to the car parked on the sidewalk.

At least certain things in this town were still entertaining. I joined her in
the backseat and her mom drove us to school: a place where it is arguable the
best time in your life.

Yeah right. I dared to be proven wrong one day.
***** Chapter 2 *****
I walked through the gates of the school to the Admissions Office to get my
class schedule. Every year the school has a policy where students have to wait
in a long ass line to get their new classes. This semester was no different.

Electives are our choice but the general education was all the school. I
remember Louis was in my choir class the other half of the semester. Watching
him sing was such a thrill. He enrolled in a beginning class but he was no
beginner. I've wondered if he knew I watched him all that time. He probably
didn't notice. He was always so busy with learning his lines for whatever the
new school play was. I didn't even know if he was seeing anyone. The stick legs
probably had eyes on him but I never saw him hang out with that crowd at lunch
time. Drama crowd had their own area as did every other clique.

I can only guess what kind of person Louis is. I suppose he, based on the few
short conversations I've had with him can be a good friend. He seems like a
people person and I like that. But it's not a façade. Least I don't think. I
admit I do look at him a lot. In choir I would stare at him when the class was
warming and imagine what it'd be like to be in his life. Be his girlfriend. I
always see him running around the school keeping busy, doing this and that.
I've spoken to him a total of 4 times but never properly. Which I think sucks
because I think he'd be great to one-on-one with.

He has that air of confidence about him that isn't too over-the-top but just
enough. I think that's what girls see in him. He's got a wicked since of humor
and comic timing that only Jim Carrey can compete with. I don't know if he's
the romantic type though. He had maybe one long term girlfriend so far and I
haven't seen him with a girl since. I've never even had a boyfriend myself.
I've had crushes but never a guy in my life who was more than a friend. My
first kiss is still out there too.

I took my place in the line behind some students and moved up when it finally
started moving along. This is what I dreaded. Now I am going to be late for my
first class and then come those awkward, unnecessary looks from students like
you just murdered someone. I always hated that shit.

I tapped my foot. I was only 5 feet from the front office and I started to get
anxious. I tend to get like this when I grow impatient. I was tired and cranky
and didn't want to be messed with.

My shoulder got bumped and I almost fell forward but caught myself in time. My
flats were a lifesaver. I turned to see the stick legs clink passed me, walking
on just their bones. Debbie looked over and gave me the snarky wave I did to
her earlier. Hell no, but, I wasn't going to beat her ass, even though she
deserved it. She has picked on so many people at school that I almost can't
watch anymore. One of these days I'm just gonna say fuck it and destroy that
fugly face of hers. Rhinoplasty and all. Her nose is so thin it looks like a
pencil. The best way I can describe her is: picture Regina George, only not
hot. She's one of those who think she's god's gift to anything. She thinks she
can get any guy and any girl to convert to her evil ways. It's a good thing my
sanity skipped out before I got swallowed in and she took my soul.

"Sorry babe." I turned around and spotted De coming up to me.

Her sandy blond hair fell past her shoulders and she was wearing a cute long
sleeve top with her favorite skinny jeans today. In fact we both look really
cute. She cares a little more what people think of her whereas I couldn't care
less. I am far from a trend setter.

"It's OK. I don't plan on giving those nervosas any reaction."

De fixed her bag pack on both shoulders. She made a face; maybe she got her
books already and didn't feel like carrying them.

"Did you hear about the new guy?"

My brow crinkled, "What?"

"I overheard a few girls in the library talking about the principal having some
meeting with a new student in her office. He's got a hot accent."

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes Delilah exaggerates to no end. The reason why this
school has so many rumors than most schools is because nothing truly happens
here. It's squeaky clean and the principals make it stay that way. We don't
even wear uniforms and the school still has a decent rep. Aside from the
bulimic crew, it's a fucking boring experience.

"Good to know." It was my turn up and we both got our information settled.

I waved De off and walked around the hallways.

It was 15 to 8 in the morning and I still needed to find my new locker. I
always hated this part because the locker they gave me the previous years were
out in the middle of nowhere. I basically had the ghost town locker. What the
school gives us doesn't constitute as a locker anyway. It's no bigger than a
foot and no wider than that either.

I finally spotted it and smiled. They were quite nice to me this year. Maybe it
had to do with me being a senior and all. I actually got a locker that was near
the quad. I breathed a sigh of relief when I walked toward it. The locker combo
was easy enough. I did all the turns and went to lift the latch, but it
wouldn't budge. I tried again and it was like something was jammed inside it.
God I hope not gum.

Good luck then bad, on the first day? I placed my hands on my hips and then
tried again. I have a tiny frame at 5'4" but I'm pretty strong when I want to
be.

I yanked at it and groaned until my fingers nearly got red from the pressure I
put into it. Damn it. Shit balls.

My body shook when a hand reached above my head which I instinctively ducked
from, narrowing my eyes. Whoever it was banged my locker a couple times and it
finally came loose.

I turned around and stared into Louis' aqua eyes who wore a cheeky smirk.

"Hey there."

I stumble over my speech before some actual words come out. "Hi, Louis."

"You alright?" He gestured behind me. "I had a locker like that last year.
Giving it a good bang always works."

Bang? I could think of a few things I'd like to bang now. "Thanks. I was
running late, I needed that."

I never know what else to say to him. Maybe he was just as nervous as me
because he didn't say much either. Damn him. I can't possibly stare at him when
he's right in front of me.

Louis has a penetrating stare and I may be late for class if I get tangled up
in it.

"Sure, love." He breathed out finally, smiling brightly, eyes sparkling.

I turned around slowly, biting my lip; I can't stare at him too long. Least not
when I know he's watching me too. I could hear his breathing and only wonder
what he was thinking. I don't think Louis has ever been this close to me
before.

"Eva?" My name rolled off his tongue and I felt like I was dreaming. I closed
my eyes popping them open again. I'm being silly. Jesus man. I feel like I am
in one those teen shows. Any minute a Top 40 Emo song will play in the
background.

I panicked. I pulled my ponytail tie out suddenly, letting the rest of my damp
hair out to dry. I never wear my hair down unless I was in the mood to or to
hide my blushing. This was an emergency.

I turned around, rising my eyebrow, if possible, Louis came closer. Damn him.
Shit.

"I saw you got your schedule, you taking drama this semester?" His bit his lip.
I watched him roll it in his mouth and popping it out in the most delicious
pout. Fuck me.

I look down at the floor, it was safer. "Yeah I think so. It was my extra
elective."

"Oh good. Well, I'll see you there, love." He moved even closer, removing my
hair to the side, my pink cheek exposed. "I'll save you a seat." He whispered
in my ear, pulling back and winking.

I grinned like a little girl. I know I looked like a huge embarrassing mess to
him. This is what I don't prepare for when talking to a hot guy.

"See you there, Louis." I could almost get out his name in confidence but not
quite. My voice was still soft and shaky.

"Bye." He said as he pulled away and turned his heel in the other direction. He
walked outside to the quad, meeting his friends, turning back, staring at me
one last time.

I laughed to myself and turned back to my locker. The one Louis touched. Wait,
he didn't just touch that. He also touched me. He touched my hair. It kinda
counts.

Shit, I'm gonna be late. I blame my hormones.
***** Chapter 3 *****
I hate this. On the first day I was sitting outside Principal Grady's office
with my arms folded across my chest. The scowl on my face was there to stay.
I managed to get called in because one of the stick legs told the new English
teacher, who had zero patience for anyone, that I was texting during the
lecture. Just at that moment my phone magically drops from my purse. What do
you know huh? Ugh and worst of all I had to wait for what seemed like forever
while Grady had a talk with another student. It was at least 20 minutes and I
knew I was going to miss drama class with Louis. Hey, he promised to save me a
seat, who could possibly resist that?
I tapped my foot and rolled my eyes. This better be important to be taking this
long. What could they possibly be talking about anyway? Then again, it could be
a new student.
I stood up, in frustration just as the door opened and crashed into a warm,
hard body. I was caught, turned 15 shades of red and looked up to see who it
was.
I was met by a pair of unusual teal eyes, tasseled brown curly hair, dimples
and a small, curvy smile. He didn't seem embarrassed at all but I was beside
myself.
"Hello." His voice was like a chocolate caramel bar; deep, British and sensual.
Oh god. Another hot guy. Why am I being such a klutz? Jesus. I pulled out of
his arms instantly when we heard a cough from behind.
"Hello?" Grady looked around and met my eyes. Her large almond eyes grew
surprised. "Ms. Davies. Were you waiting outside?"
I felt a heavy heated gaze from my left. I didn't dare look. Shit. Fuck.
"Yeah, I was sent here. Um, it's a misunderstanding. I wasn't on my phone
texting, promise." I practically begged, which I hated doing.
She gave me a pointed look and glanced at the guy next to me. "Oh, how about
this: Ms. Davies can show you around. I'll be away for the next half hour and
she can give you the tour of our campus."
I bit my lip. Holy shit. She did not just do that. I stood there frozen in
place. I wanted to move but I was afraid I would get into more trouble if I
declined.
"Alright then. Thank you Miss, I mean Principal Grady." He turned to look at me
and all I could do was widen my eyes.
He held out his hand, properly to introduce himself. "Hello. I'm Harry Styles."
I took a second to process all this and slowly accepted his hand in mine as I
found my breathing again. "Eva, Eva Davies."
I was barely aware of the principal when Harry found my hand. He gave a
friendly wave to Grady before we were left alone.
I took in what he wore. Brown suede blazer over a classy V-neck shirt hugging
his shapely torso coupled with black trousers slacks that were as slick as if
he stepped out the '60s photoshoot. Dayum. I licked my lips when he glanced
with concentration to what looked like a folder Grady had given him.
Staring again. Shit.
I didn't want there to be any awkward silences so I spoke first. "So, where are
you from in, England?" Smooth, that was real smooth.
He laughed and made direct eye contact. "Cheshire, North England. I just moved
here this week."
I nodded, looking at what he was holding. My eyes did a double take at his
banana bunch-like hands. I can only imagine how they would feel inside me.
Only imagine. OK, don't get red now; he's looking at you now.
"I see," I pointed to the piece of paper he held. "Well, I can show you to your
classes."
If this was supposed to be my punishment for getting in trouble for something I
didn't do then I should get into trouble every chance I can get. Fuck school.
Did I ever like it anyway? And he was charismatic too. His voice…good god.
Ok I have to calm down or I'm gonna be obvious and freak out the new guy. He
smiled suddenly, it reached his eyes. I felt like fainting on the spot.
He gave me his class order and I just told him to follow my lead. He started
laughing when I was pointing out obvious things like the drinking fountains and
the bathrooms. I just thought I was being my lame self again because I just
don't know how to talk to good looking guys.
After a few moments we got silent again. We were getting closer to his class. I
prayed this wasn't the end.
"So, Eva, what's there to do for fun around here?" Harry asked, I wasn't sure
what he was talking about specifically. It sounded to me like he wanted to
ditch.
"The beach." It was my default answer when people ask this question. "Oh, there
are a few good burger joints near the school. But I hardly go eat there
anymore."
"Why?"
Crap, were we officially having a conversation? So far so good. This felt
natural. Weird. I feel like I can be honest too. What a relief.
"I don't know really. I just stopped going. A lot of the popular crowd hangs
around there. I avoid them." I coughed.
The stick leg hierarchy will no doubt try to convert him, such a shame. Maybe
Harry's different though. What am I saying? I don't even know the guy.
"Uh oh." Harry chuckled. Ok that is two times I almost fake fainted. "Well good
to know what to be aware of. I need all the advice I can get."
I blushed, looking down. The same way Louis makes me blush only this time I
felt strangely light. What is it with those English accents that make us
American girls wetter than Niagara Falls? I tried not to make, um, "noise" as I
walked. I was wearing jeans and I got little concerned.
We came to his first class which was English. He and I had different teachers
but as he gave the paper back to me to check if it's right, I noticed something
else.
"Hey, you and I have 5 class periods together. Interesting." Maybe this was
fate. Or maybe I'm just the luckiest bitch in the entire school.
He looked at the paper over my shoulder. His breath was smothering my cheeks
and my focus nearly failed me. "We'll be seeing a lot of each other then."
I looked at him, giving him back his schedule. Our fingers touched and I
couldn't help but think of how they would feel in my mouth after he made me
cum.
Jesus. Pace yourself girl. It's not like we're gonna hang out all hours of the
day. Who am I kidding? He's a Louis. He's hot. He'll forget me the second I
leave.
"How could I forget you?" He asked. Had I really said my thoughts out loud?
My hand went over my mouth in shock as my brows knotted together. "What? I
mean, huh?"
He chuckled, those dimples more prominent than before. He leaned in closer so
only I could hear.
"I said how could I forget you? You're the only person I know."
He grinned brightly, gave a confident wave and opened the door walking inside.
I leaned against the lockers and took a whole 2 minutes to process what just
happened. I placed my hand over my heart, willing it to slow down. A small
smile found its way to my lips.
Then my eyes went wide. Shit.
"Louis, crap on things." I whispered to myself and flung myself down the
hallways in sonic speed mode.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Drama class was decent. I'd never taken it before but I was open to it. It was
mostly the teacher talking our ears off and the students just listened. I find
it odd on the first day. It seemed like we needed a lot of preparation because
the drama crowd takes their work seriously and of course you have the drama
queens. The method actors have their own little group, but it was OK because I
got to sit to next the sexy smile known as Louis-please-just-fuck-me-with-your-
blue-eyes-Tomlinson.
Let me take a second here to gush…actually going to need more than that. He and
I never had classes together, but I'm starting to get used to being near him
now that I finally had the chutzpah to sign up for drama. I've performed in
front of a class before but acting wasn't really my thing. Louis just loved it
and you could tell. I watched his face when our English class attended the
school play last year. You couldn't take your eyes off him or his massive
bulge. Hey, his lack of clothing in that one scene was enough to send me
straight to horny heaven; my vagina reacted. I probably could stare at him all
day and you'd find a puddle of drool on the ground near my seat.
De always said I was too chicken to really talk to him. I'd like to think of it
as, well, if he likes me then he should be the one to show it. Well, maybe that
did sound a bit on the chicken side, and alright, OK, she was right about that,
but hey, I'm starting to think he really does. But then there's a part of me
that's thinking he's just being a nice neighbor. Maybe his mom, the school
nurse put him up to it. Ugh, well, he's being really nice now. He even offered
to help find my acting books since he got his early. Damn him. If only it were
easy act on these urges. This coming from someone who hasn't even had her first
kiss yet, figures.
Gah, he makes me crazy. I never know where his head is. He's not a dick, he has
one and I might like it. OK I'll love it, whatever size it is; which I can
assume is big. He's not an overly flashy guy. He has a subtle sexiness that
only a writer can base mystery guys on. He seems like he writes poetry and
hides it. I just don't know. He's so friendly it could just be all in my head
behind all this hair. I'm just making shit up. Damn it.
I don't know him, that's the point, but I so want to. Louis seems more
attainable than the new kid, Harry, Mr. Mars Bar. Jesus, now I sound like a
stalker giving him personal nicknames. He said five whole sentences to me and
already I'm thinking so ahead of the game. But do boys ever let you in?
I thought of that as I walked to my locker. Alas I didn't have Louis here to
spot me, even though I didn't mind at all, but I remembered what he told me.
After the combo was set I gave it a good tug then banged on it hard. Shit that
might have been a little too hard. I feel like I should take up karate with
this right hook.
"You OK?" A deep chuckling voice said. Wait, I know that voice. My eyes went
wide as I stared at my Math book in front of me. Oh no, Mars Bar.
I whipped around to see Harry's smiley face presented itself two lockers away
from me. Was he following me? Then I noticed the books in his hand, shit. The
locker in front of him was open. Not only does he have nearly all his classes
with me, but, Harry Styles has his locker two feet right from mine. Holy fuck
balls.
I found my voice suddenly. "Yeah, just, these old lockers, gonna wake em up." I
sounded so red neck valley I wanted to crawl in a hole and stay there.
Harry just looked at me, I couldn't place it but it seemed like he was amused.
"I see. Well, looks like the school put us next to each other again."
He gestured to his open locker then swung it closed with a loud click, making
me jump.
I nervously bit my lip. "I guess so." Shutting my locker the same way.
That's it? How could I have nothing to say to that pretty face? Jesus, I need
to get out of here before I make things worse.
I started to leave when he called my name. I turned around and waited a minute.
Harry can't possibly know I exist. This is not the way it goes. Hot guys like
him associate with whores like Debbie and Janelle. Why am I judging Harry so
early? Good god, he's giving me that hard stare again.
"Do you, I mean, do we have next period together?" He held out his schedule to
my face.
Why did Harry need my help all of a sudden? He could ask the administration
where to go if he was lost. I don't get it. Why me?
I sighed and checked out his list. "Not this one."
"Oh." He said, staring at the ground. Was he spacey too? Yeah right.
I cleared my throat. "You know how to get there?"
He shook his head and I could have sworn I saw his bottom lip pout. Shit, that
was fucking delicious. I wanted to nibble on it for hours.
I walked with him carefully and showed him to his next class. It was close so
the duration wasn't too long. I smiled warmly and was about to turn to leave
again when-
"Um, lunch is coming up; you got some mates, I mean, friends you sit with
then?" I felt like he was purring in my ear as he said this. Maybe it's just a
fantasy of mine. Who am I kidding? Of fucking course it is.
"I keep a small group of friends with me." He nodded, I paused. My eyes crossed
into confusion. "Why do you ask?"
Harry shrugged; again I couldn't read his eyes. His lips twitched into a
lopsided smile as his hand reached for the door. He looked at me.
"Good to know." Wait, huh?
I almost started to giggle at the random reply until my face held a complex
expression. He stopped, smirking slightly as he leaned toward my face and
turned serious.
"Don't worry, I'll find you." His long finger traced down my now pink cheek.
He pulled the classroom door open before I could respond. How could I talk
anyway now? It's funny, I am never good at talking to attractive guys in
general but with Harry, it's almost like I didn't need to. Shit. Oh fuck me
this is not good. What if he's a player and just really good at playing dumb
with me? Girls have been fooled before by a guy's charm and Harry, well, he
personified the kind of charm I just wanted to sink my entire body into. By
that I mean my pussy sliding down his cock.
My god, I'm 16 and I've never felt this boy crazy before. What is it with this
day? I've creamed myself how many times now? Fucking aye.
My thoughts out of nowhere reverted back to the other guy who had my stomach in
knots. Louis. He is definitely someone with potential. If he would show
anything more than a friendly gesture then the entire game would change.
I'd have him. My fantasies would come true. No more flirting games.
But what if this is a game? If this is true then who is the player and who is
getting played?
***** Chapter 5 *****
Lunch time came around and I knew Louis would be in the drama room yacking it
up with the method geeks so I didn't bother changing the scenery. Although the
prospect of having a sub-par quality luncheon with a sexy and witty English boy
tickled my fancy more than I care to admit, it'd be awkward if I presented
myself randomly. I digress.
I figured I'd find De and do the usual stuff. The cafeteria was stock piled
with students of varying kinds. I didn't pay much attention to be honest. If
you try and blend in then its something you'll never secure at our school.
Pretend to exude swag and you'll be fine, for a while. Unless you're in the
path of the stick legs, they're out for blood.
The protocol remains stagnant. I tried not to roll my eyes too much as I stood
in line and ordered my food. After paying at the register I brought my tray
around to the lunch tables trying to spot De. It's just the two of us so we
picked out an untouched area in the back where all the people who didn't belong
in cliques, were undecided and/or mismatched parked. Individuals didn't need a
clique. Anyone is welcome to join us, we're just that nice.
My spaghetti and meat balls were balanced in the middle of my tray as I sat
down next to De who had already started on her food. I looked at her and she
looked at me for a moment. It took her another moment to react.
"Uh, this is like such a stressful day. Why do we need school again?"
I pretended to think as I opened my straw, sticking it in my strawberry Fanta.
"To live longer I guess. Have a good livelihood? Hell if I know."
"Yeah well, this day can't bore me anymore than it has. I can't wait for it to
be over frankly."
I bit my lip, rolling my eyes as De droned on about the monotonous day events.
She was kinda right. I wasn't about to argue with her since we both felt the
same way about school. But…did she know about Harry? Was I the only one? Why
can't I get him out of my head? He'll probably be more interested in the stick
legs. I'm not going have a chance to get to know him.
Shame. Hot boys at our school are so damn corrupted it's not even funny. If
you're new and hot you better believe you'll be with the popular crowd, if they
have anything to say about it that is. I sighed, eating or rather picking at my
food, I was stuck in a myriad of thoughts. Harry could never go for me. Well,
first of all, he's hot, not just hot but beautiful. I can't describe it other
then he's too beautiful for his own good. I don't know if he's too good for me
yet but he's got that confidence that most girls would find fucking adorable. I
lifted my head up lazily looking around the cafeteria tables. My eyes flickered
around the room.
Damn, how can anyone hear let alone talk in a crowded room like this perplexed
me.
Then it occurred to me, Harry said something; that he'd look for me. Yeah
fucking right. I could single him out in a sea of "hot guys" in a heartbeat if
he showed himself. I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't lose hope on Louis. He was
my type of guy, and someone my dad might like. My mom too, if she was anything
like me. Ugh, I'm bumming myself already, I better stop. Who am I kidding?
Harry wouldn't give me the time of day.
"Oh there's the bitch." De whispered harshly.
I looked in the direction she was staring in and groaned. "It's OK. Just ignore
them."
"Can't help it. It's like they wanna start fucking with people. Which they
always do. This is gonna be a long ass semester Evie." De sometimes got so down
on herself and it made me feel rotten because sometimes there's nothing more
you can do other then give moral support.
I wish now of all times I had a brother to protect us so De wouldn't feel so
depressed. Its day one and already she's "going there." Normally the sad words
of complaints don't come out of her mouth until the semester is nearly over.
Our school doesn't handle bullying well, which is why the cliques still exist.
Kind of fucked up if you ask me.
I bit the inside of my cheek and sighed. I wasn't hungry. Why was I in such a
shitty mood? Oh yeah. Well, I can tune it out. The stick legs stared in my
direction and all I wanted to do was turn this tray of hot food over their
pretentious, over processed heads. Ruin all their caked-on make-up while I'm at
it. I had a lot of rage in me, out of nowhere. Odd. Man De was the one bumming
me out now.
Is this as good as it's going to get? Fuck I hope not.
Out of the corner of my eye I stared at the back of a lanky guy, brown hair and
broad shoulders, paying at the register. Hey, isn't that what Harry wore today?
Oh god, I'm such a stalker I remember what he dressed like from the back. Maybe
because I was checking him out long and good when he turned around last time.
Oh god, I'm imagining things again.
The guy turned around and it was Harry. Oh god. His mouth. I was zeroing in on
it like it was Stonehenge. I wanted him to make eye contact so badly over here.
Didn't he say he was going to look for me? His eyes scanned the room, I
shivered. That deep concentrated look making another cameo. Holy fuck. Please
don't do that Harry. I'll be expelled for just thinking of the things I would
do to you right now.
Give it up girl. He doesn't want you. I thought for a second he might make
direct contact and it was a big fat nay. I hadn't noticed my mouth was slightly
ajar when De cleared her throat rather loudly.
"Just go ask him to sit with us. Go fucking ahead and go dude." De sipped
loudly on her drink, shaking me back to reality.
De was egging me on but I couldn't move. I wanted him to come to me. Why was
that so hard to grasp? If guys like you, they come to you, if you show you like
them they flinch away like cockroaches about to get squashed. Funny, that never
sat well with me. Which is why I'm single I guess.
What am I talking about? Shouldn't I just be myself?
I looked at her with pinched eyes. She was right. Why can't I just be the
aggressive one already? Who made these rules? Why am I listening to them? Fuck
this.
I got up and began to march proudly over where Harry stood when I stopped in my
tracks. My jaw was hanging so low you could pick it up off the ground.
They got him. Three of the stick legs crowded around him, blocking him in,
making it impossible for me, or anyone to intercept. Shit. Double fuck. Oh
those tramps. I was only a few seconds off and I could have done the
unthinkable. Didn't I see him first?
Damn my insecurity. Damn it to high hell. I was so embarrassed I whipped back
around in a fury and sat back down with a huff at the table.
"You tried, you couldn't save him. The barracudas got him now. Consider the
"new guy" officially off limits." Delilah really knew how to make things worse
with the brutal truth. I watched in sad horror as Harry casually went to go sit
at their table proving this further.
Death, yeah that sounds good now God. Kill me now.
I just stared at the stick legs then back at my tray. Why the fuck was I here?
I hated this place. I hated every soul that fucked with my potential happiness.
I was so pissed off I dropped my spoon roughly in my tapioca rice pudding
making it splash out. I was so unaware of everything I almost kept my head
completely down.
Jell-O hit my check, flowing down, landing square on my jeans. I looked over at
De and smirked. I threw spaghetti at her but it unintentionally landed directly
onto the girl on the other side of us. Fuck shits.
Oh no. Holy shit, before I knew it, the girl threw the noodles from in her hair
back in my direction and it hit someone else it wasn't intending on.
Jesus. I ducked again when three more people joined in and soon the entire
lunch hall erupted into a massive food fight. People ricocheted with their
trays, one falling on top of another and the other retaliating back. I wasn't
going to be pulled into this further. Shit. I grabbed De out of sheer fear.
She and I ducked underneath the tables, clutching the corners as food fell left
and right occasionally getting us.
"Fuck Evie, we gotta escape or we'll get blamed." De explained.
"Yeah, you go the other way; meet ya on the other side. I'll go under the
tables this way." I said, gesturing behind me.
I was so sure my plan would work as I crawled as fast as I could to a
sanctuary. Thank god I left my purse and bag pack stuffed in my locker. Jesus,
it was like raining sloppy everything when I finally stood up.
Aha, success! I made it. I was breathing a sigh of relief when my shoulder was
grabbed and I shivered, turning around. My eyes nearly bulged out of their
sockets.
"Told you I'd find you." Harry said licking his pudding stained lips.
What a sight, he was covered from head to toe in what looked like the entire
cafeteria menu. He looked good enough to eat. I mean that in both literal
senses.
I panicked. I did probably stupidest/spontaneous thing I could think of. But I
know I didn't want to get caught. I was mad at Harry for what he did but I
didn't care.
I grabbed his hand pulling him toward the showers.
***** Chapter 6 *****
Harry chuckled deeply when I finished pulling him into the girls' locker room.
He probably thought I was out of my mind.
"What's going on?" Harry asked, I wasn't quite sure why I dragged him here with
me.
I thought on the spot. Wasn't it obvious?
"Um, uh, you're covered in food, so, yeah; take your clothes off now. The
showers are over there, in the boys' room." I hadn't realized how tawdry that
sounded until I turned red and immediately covered my face.
Harry stepped closer and easily shrugged off his jacket, his shirt followed and
I stared at his chest through my fingers. "Is this what you mean?"
Why do I feel like this isn't really happening to me? Harry and I were
completely alone in the girls' locker room. I'm not sure what might happen but
I know I personally didn't want to get caught. Yeah, but Harry, Jesus fuck. I
removed my hands quickly and crossed my arms over my chest. I had food all over
my face I knew it.
"After that you can go find Debbie and those girls." I said, not sure why but I
confessed it aloud.
"What? What girls?"
My head turned instantly staring straight into his pinched green eyes. "The
ones you were, with. Sorry. I'll go."
I moved to get away when his thick hands touched my arm. "Don't. Stay."
My eyes scaled slowly from the ground up to his eyes. "Harry…"
"Eva..."
I licked my lips, the faint taste of cherry flavored Jell-O coming into my
mouth. What I really wanted to taste was him. "Just thought I should leave you
alone, you know; give you privacy."
Harry laughed softly and turned my face to look at him. "I'm new, I need your
help. Remember what the principal said about showing me around?"
Was he flirting with me? Shit, he fucking was.
"Yeah, she did say that. Um, yeah, well, the guys' showers are behind you. We
have a washer and dryer here; you can go get your clothes clean over there." I
gestured behind him.
I had nothing more to say but plenty was going through my head. Harry Styles
was fucking shirtless in front of me. I could see a glimpse of the dip of his
hip muscles and can't help but think how he'd feel inside me. More like
pounding those hips from behind.
"Show me the showers again. Physically show me." He said that as a command
making every muscle in my body tighten. My jaw tensed.
I nodded, barely able to speak and brought him to the other side of the gym
lockers. We were completely alone. All I kept thinking was I hope I don't
embarrass myself further. My heart was racing and I could feel my pussy getting
wetter the more I was around him. Soon will come the noises. God damn it.
He paused and looked at me. A smile forming, his dimples greeting me before he
started to walk away. "You should shower too."
I nodded, almost shaking up a storm, trying to back away from him without being
too obvious. "T-towels are in the coach's office."
I turned around; my heart just would not stop beating like I just ran a 5k
marathon. "Hey Eva." I heard. Shit, this could be either, I don't know.
I looked at him. His smirk making my heart beat faster. He better talk before I
faint. "I'll meet you in the laundry room. Enjoy your shower."
With that he turned on his heel, leaving me sexually frustrated frankly. What
exactly was he getting at? I threw my hands up in the air, exasperated and
stepped into the girls' shower area. Boys are so fucking confusing.
I stripped off my clothes while checking around me. Coast was clear. Unless the
intruder was Harry or Louis, I may make an exception. OK, right now it's Harry
since the boy is no more than 20 feet from me, naked, drenched in hot water
with soap covering his delectable body.
My fingers reached down until they felt the smooth skin right near my clit. I
rinsed my body all over and now I was completely hot. Even my hair was smoothed
out, hot and soaked.
There was no way I was going to make myself cum now. Not with Harry in close
proximity to me. I painfully removed two fingers that were beginning to bury
themselves in my fiery walls.
I finished rinsing the last of the soap before stepping in the towel I brought.
The second towel I grabbed onto and rung out most of the water from my hair. I
had this look in the morning and can pull it off again; just now I didn't have
a brush. Gonna have to go with the vagabond look until I got home. I just hope
De doesn't stay after school in the computer lab again.
I slipped on my panties and bra and took my food stained clothes out of the
room. I didn't need to knock on the door to get Harry. I already showed him
where the laundry room was. I've done my part. Ugh, but the fucker, or that
sexy mother fucker bailed on me. Why the fuck does he do that the second I
crave more of him? Well, if I run into him again, I don't know what I'd do. He
could just be fucking around with me for all I know. I could be pranked for
falling for his charms. Leading me on, typical guy behavior.
I'm being insane again. I pulled the large towel around my body tighter. What
sucks is I started controlling my pleasure but I can't, I just can't.
I sighed and took my clothes over to the washer, smiling to myself. Yeah right.
I am so deluded. This is all in my head. I am dreaming, if so, can I please
wake up? God, if you're out there and real then please make Harry and
temptation leave with him? And while you're feeling omnipotent and all, please
give me the ability to shoot lightening bolts out of my fingers? The stick legs
could use a good fucking zap in their bones.
I was about to load the water when-
"You came." He was close. By the wideness of my eyes he was so close I can hear
the resonance in his voice. He must have been really quiet. I barely heard the
door open.
I turned around, my eyes still as he came closer. My eyes dipped down to stare
at him slowly from toe up. The towel clung perfectly against his beautiful hips
as a few beads of water trickled down to the region I wanted to unwrap,
pretending it was just for me. He cleans up real…nice. Fuck. Stop drooling.
"Wanna wash my clothes too?" He asked, almost child-like.
I lightly chuckled, holding my mouth. "You don't know how to do it?"
He shook his head and shrugged. I rolled my eyes; taking the clothes he brought
getting it all started up. I felt his eyes on me the entire time. When I put
our clothes inside, closed the lid, starting the wash I let out a deep breath.
I didn't know what to do now. So I just kept quiet. I was in very little
clothing too. I felt a little exposed and tried concealing it by pulling the
hem was the towel so it covered my bare legs.
"Do I make you nervous?" I looked at him.
He was running his long fingers through his wet curls, water flowing down his
chest, looking at me with curious eyes.
"No." I looked at him from the side without moving my head as my hands held the
corners of the washer.
"Good, you shouldn't be."
I start giggling, now uncontrollably. Shit, I couldn't stop, my towel almost
slipped but I held it in place, now even tighter. The blush returning to my
cheeks.
"Now what is so funny?"
When I caught my breath he stared at me, genuine confusion across his face.
"Nothing, just felt like laughing."
"I like to laugh. Life is funny sometimes. Most of the time. You know what else
I like?" I looked at him and waited. "Bets."
Now it was my turn to cross my eyebrows. "What?"
He leaned his back against the dryer and crossed his arms over his chest. "I
bet I could freak you like you've never been freaked before."
I clicked my tongue, feeling massive heat covering my cheeks. "If that means
the same thing in England that it does here then I don't know how to respond to
that."
He suddenly grabbed my hips, his hot breath smothering my face. The washer was
shaking suddenly, doing that whirlwind thing. "We could get caught—"
His lips brushed mine, shushing me straight up. Good god. I was a little
nervous, dear god in heaven I was shaking. His picked me up onto the washer, I
allowed everything.
I felt his hand cup my warm cheek as he inched closer. I gulped before I felt
his bottom lip softly caress mine, gently as if asking me permission. I
couldn't take it anymore and closed the gap between us, feeling him instantly
respond. The moment his lips hit mine it was like a volcanic magnet. I wanted
him, more of him, my arms pulled his back closer to me until our mouths open
and I tasted his tongue. Shit. Mother fucker.
I felt the washer vibrate underneath me and I really couldn't take being in
this towel anymore. I was so new at this sort of thing but I didn't give a
fuck. We fiercely made out as his hands came below me, touching my bare thighs
until I felt him go further where it really caught my attention. I felt him
touch the side of my panties, touching me in a circle. His fingers lightly
drawing shapes around the wetness that seeped through. Jesus. Fuck. Quit
teasing me you bastard.
"Harry…please…" I breathed. He circled a few more seconds before playing with
the side of my panties.
I felt his harsh fingers slowly inch their way to my pussy. He was going to be
in for a treat. I kissed him gently and another one roughly. Must have ignited
him because he wasted no time and plunged his long fingers inside me, swirling
around my core. I broke from the kiss and pulled my head back in a long throaty
moan. I hadn't realized how loud I was until his lips went to shush it. He had
so much passion in his fingers I almost couldn't take it.
"So wet. So bloody wet and tight, love. Jesus. Shit." Harry murmured in my ear.
"It's hard for me to cum you know?" I panted, grinning when he gave a
combination of a groan and laugh. It sounded menacing.
I spread my legs wider, helping him out and spread my lips open for his
fingers, allowing him deeper access.
"I like a challenge." He pressed his lips more fervently against mine. More
like a lover would.
The washer at this point was spinning on its hinges and so was I.
My eyes rolled to the back of my head when he added another finger, this time
pumping into me so hard my body started shaking in tune with the machine.
"Make me cum Harry." I purred and bit his shoulder that was already perspiring.
God damn it, he was literally killing me.
I grabbed a fistful of his curls and pulled his face over mine, looking into
his eyes before his lips crushed the fire evident on my lips that struggled to
leave. I wanted it to stay. I wanted him to stay like this. Kiss me this way
forever and never stop. Jesus, my first real kiss and I didn't want it to end.
Not ever.
My clit reacted, oh shit, my legs; I could feel them reaching a numb state.
Harry kept his fingers working their magic. He pulled them out when I suddenly
came violently, putting them directly in his mouth, sucking everything I made
for him. My fucking god. I kept coming, multiple times. My shocked eyes looking
at what he did. No way.
My legs were still shaking when he helped me to stand after a few quiet
moments. I was leaning against his body for support while he just held me. I
closed my eyes, trying to relive what just happened. Can I? Can I actually go
back and experience it all one more time? Not even I can make myself cum that
hard, that many times at once.
I gulped. I'm not even sure if I can speak properly. I kissed his shoulder,
especially the spot I bit on.
I slid down, leaning against the washer in a daze. He followed me down, pulling
me to his sweat-drenched chest. I was still in my trance when a noise brought
me out of it. We pulled apart, looking at each other.
"I think our clothes are ready." Harry blushed, sticking out his tongue.
***** Chapter 7 *****
We dressed silently. I enjoyed it, smiling slightly. The way he put on clothes
reminded me of a young boy who just learned how to dress himself. I really
liked this. For once I didn't have to worry about saying anything or making a
fool of myself. Harry was really chill and at the same time incredibly
enticing. I have no idea what's going to happen next and it scared me. Harry
may just as well be the most irresistible person I met.
"So…I guess I won the bet." He said before we walked out of the gym building.
I don't know why but I followed him. Walking in the pace he was. I was still
blushing from what just happened. "Won what bet?"
I completely forgot what he was talking about. We were still alone in an empty
hall. Least I thought we were.
He casually cupped my cheek, slipping his long fingers on my jaw. "How do you
feel?"
Honestly? "A little relieved no one saw us." He dropped his hand and frowned.
"Don't you think?"
Maybe that wasn't the answer he was expecting based on his reaction but it was
true. I talk about sex to no end, even fantasize about it often but I never did
stuff like that before. Maybe he thought I would be calmer about it, like him.
"But we weren't. Didn't you have fun?"
Fun? Did I have what? Fun? Oh my god. I sank inside. I bit my lip, my stomach
felt queasy and it gnawed me.
"It was fun." I said softly, barely looking at him.
It was also my first kiss and it was beyond fun. At least that's what it meant
to me. Wow. Now the mood is totally changed.
I had to get out of there. Something bothered me about his behavior. The fact
that he was being so casual about it all floored me. Who was I kidding? What
number on the notch belt was I? Harry probably had a slew of girls waiting for
him. I can't compete with any of that, nor do I want to get involved.
I shivered now. My warm, clean clothes did nothing to warm my frozen skin. He
went to touch me, reaching for my hand and I shrank back. His eyes narrowed and
he stepped forward. I flinched back. He looked at me, confused with a tilt in
his head.
Good. Maybe he should do some thinking now. I backed away until I put a good
distance between our bodies. I wanted to run but I didn't want to draw
attention to myself.
"It was all just fun." I stressed the last word, more spat it as I turned the
corner.
I wasn't sure where I was going but I just wanted to leave. Ugh, I'm such a
weakling. He didn't go after me and I figured that. I could have sworn I heard
my name being called out. I tried to ignore it.
I heard footsteps behind me and yelped when my shoulder was tapped. I turned
around and sighed.
"Oh, Louis. Hi."
I looked down and then back up. He had kind eyes. I needed that now.
He raised his brow. "You alright love? You've gone a bit red."
"I'm fine." I said quickly.
Louis laughed, biting his lip again. Don't. Do. That. "Flyers went out for the
school play, you should try out. Auditions are the end of the week in the
auditorium."
"Already? Wow, you guys are really crazy serious about those shows. Is um, the
teacher going to be there?"
He shook his head. "Don't let the Professor scare ya, love. He's strict on the
outside but he's all love on the inside, once you get passed all that talking."
He winked.
I finally started to relax. I chewed on my bottom lip, popping it out. "I'll
consider it. Is it mandatory to audition?"
"Yeah, for Drama it always is. Um, what's your next class then?"
I took a deep breath, oxygen finally filling my brain chamber. My other
elective? Oh yeah. "Creative Writing. Do you have that?"
Louis' face fell, and inside I did too. He shook his head. I was bummed. Harry
right now had more classes with me than I cared to admit. Damn him. I wish it
was Louis.
"Walk with me. I'm near the English building anyway." He held out his hand for
me and I took it, a real smile returning to my face.
I didn't feel like getting pissed. It was just fun. Harry wanted to have a good
time. Well then he shouldn't have kissed me like that or even at all. Isn't
that like the golden rule for the typical player? Why did he kiss me that way?
I bet if it was Louis his reaction wouldn't be so nonchalant. I think he would
care.
Louis and I walked around the hallway, occasionally he'd make small talk with
me and I didn't mind it. He was telling me about his time in summer stock and
it was actually kind of interesting. Even if it was boring me I didn't care.
I'll take anything to get my mind off of what just happened with Harry. I
refused to discuss any details. It was no one's business anyway. Louis wouldn't
have treated me that way.
We rounded another corner passing students talking while stuffing books in and
out their lockers. I told Louis to wait as I went to my locker. He stood next
to me as I opened it without his help. I showed it off like it was a magic
trick only I could do. Dork majorly.
"Fast learner you are." He whispered in my ear.
"Thanks Yoda, I try." I laughed to myself, getting my notepad and main writing
book.
I stuffed my supplies in my bag and turned around, closing my locker. He took
my hand again without asking my permission. He didn't really need it.
When I walked with him Harry was staring daggers at me. His green eyes were
piercing my back like a thorn. Oh no. Why the hell should I be worried? We're
not going steady, I mean, we're not dating. It doesn't matter what Harry
thinks. It's my fucking life. I turned my head when Louis and I walked passed
him completely oblivious.
That's what I should do frankly. I should give Louis a chance. Why the hell
not?
Harry Styles needs to check himself.
***** Chapter 8 *****
Louis met me at my locker and walked with me at the end of my class. I sorta
get the feeling he actually wants to be around me. Maybe he really does like
me.
I can't be so sure anyway. He makes me smile, that's all I know. The look on
Harry's face when he saw us just walking together was so green. My mind was
going back there again I almost forgot what Louis was saying just now. Liam was
trailing along with him. I think they came in the same car or something. He
would look over to me and smile. Louis was more boisterous than Liam. Far as I
know he wasn't gay, though I know the Drama crowd has that reputation of
variant rumors going around. These boys were pretty but I'll be hella damned if
one of them smoked pickle. I digress.
We were getting closer toward the parking lot and I knew what Louis was going
to ask. I suspected it.
He whipped his hair to the side out of his eyes. I couldn't help but stare
again. He always smelled so good too. He cleared his throat, pulling me out of
my haze.
"You sure about that ride? I know where you live." He grinned raising his brow
slightly. I averted my eyes, after the day I had I didn't want to show how
intense I can be.
I looked over at Liam. He looked between me and the car, maybe he was a bit on
the impatient side. But at least he didn't interrupt us.
I thought about De's original offer and shook my head. "I got a ride already.
Just gonna wait for a bit for her to come out." I looked around trying to spot
her.
Its too early, De likes the computer room too much. Her mom comes later because
she always tells her she's got a lot of homework. She likes to piss about on
the computers; Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, all that bull shit. I find
them all very distracting. Like Louis. But he was a good distraction. I could
tell he really wanted me to ride with him. And after a day like today I wanted
to say yes but I couldn't do that to De.
He gave a disappointed nod and signaled to Liam to get in the car when he
unlocked the doors. He turned back to me for a moment.
"Well I'll see you in class tomorrow. Try out, I hope you do. I'd like to see
you there." Louis blushed, looking down then back at me. He flashed the famous
lip-bite, serious stare; I nearly drooled on the spot.
A gust of wind blew some of my hair in my eyes. I really liked looking at this
boy. My mouth curved up on the side. Gah, he was making me giddy. The way he
stared back at me made me want to cuddle with him and watch a movie. I hope we
get to do that one day.
"Lou, let's go mate." Liam's voice called from inside the car jostling our
attention.
Louis whipped his head around and quickly back at me, his eyes holding a sad
look. "Gotta go. You sure about that ride? You can just text her, it's gonna
get dark soon."
His saccharine words were making me dizzy. I think I need to keep my distance
from the male penis until I feel safe again. You have no idea how hard this
decision is for me.
"I can't. I promised her. Thank you though. That's really sweet." I gave a thin
smile trying to avoid his eyes, subtly.
It's not his fault. My mood was a little fucked up and I didn't wanna bother
him with it. I probably might treat him like a girlfriend and confess all my
secrets of today. I hope I don't.
Louis lingered another moment just looking at me, a sly smile forming. We broke
contact when we heard the tap of the horn. Louis sighed deeply, looking down
then up at me. Here come the butterflies.
"Well, see you at school tomorrow, love." He flashed a warm smile, taking his
time to walk to the driver's seat.
I watched all his movements. I know I was staring a little longer than I should
but I didn't care. He gave a small wave after he belted up and drove off,
leaving me behind. Should I have gone with him? Maybe. I wanted to. I stared
after his car as I sat on the bench where the yellow bus lines wait. They were
all gone. I was alone. Everyone tries to get out early on the first day since
they rarely assign homework in every class.
I only wish school could be just a long lunch period where the girls can get
pampered and massaged at a spa by guys who looked like Alex Pettyfer. Eh, it's
a fantasy of mine. I missed Louis. I know, you're probably thinking I'm
obsessing over him. Maybe in way I'm in way over my head with him. I could be
reading into all his signals wrong.
Some part of me thinks he's trying to be my friend. But I really want to say
fuck it, push him against my bed and have my way with him.
Not with someone like Harry. I don't know Harry. I don't know Louis, but I sure
as hell like Louis more than Harry now. Harry can suck it. Actually he sucked
me, but I really do wish horrible things on him. I pray nothing else brings us
closer together. Can you imagine that? Dealing with another reason to avoid the
new kid who finger-fucked me on the first day of school. Clearly this doesn't
occur often. They don't write novels on this scenario.
I can try to avoid him. That's all I can promise.
"There you are." I looked up and saw Harry jogging toward me. Speak of the sexy
devil bastard. I bit my lip.
I pushed some of my hair in my face, trying to mask the embarrassment. "Hi." So
much for avoiding his ass. Try harder.
He caught up to me, that deep concentrated look making an appearance again. His
confused look was making me stare anywhere else but him.
"What are you doing?"
Do I want him to really know? "Um, I just—what do you want Harry?"
I instantly moved down the bench when he came closer, it looked like he wanted
to sit. God help me.
"Can we talk?" He said, simply. My blood almost steamed when he sat down;
looking at me, dead serious and hard.
"What about?"
I shivered suddenly, Harry must has saw it and shrugged off his jacket,
attempting to cover my shoulders. I wasn't having any of it. "Come on." I was
resisting slightly. "Take it Eva."
"Harry, no thank you." I said firmly. Least I think I did, it was hard to get
the words out clearly. My teeth began to chatter when I protested the warm
jacket. I wasn't a very good actress at hiding it. "Take it back."
Harry was a lot stronger than me as most guys are and basically forced the
jacket over my shoulders. It half turned me on. I tried to bury the other 50%
somewhere else.
He fastened the jacket tightly so it was basically a second blanket and stared
into my eyes. Jesus. "Come with me inside my car. I'll take you home."
"Harry, I—" I already said no to Louis, "the nice one" out of the two. What
makes him think I'm going to agree this time?
"I have a ride. No thank you." I said sternly earning a roll of his eyes.
He sighed deeply. I heard him groan along at the end. Pussy, stop twitching.
"Why are you being like this?"
I fidgeted in his jacket. It was so warm and exactly what I needed. It smelled
like him, especially earlier when his chest was nearly touching mine—No, I
can't do this.
"I'm not being any way. Please," I tugged at the jacket but his hands went to
stop me. I could feel his breath over my cheeks. "Harry, please."
Harry swallowed. I could hear every muscle in his throat contract and it
terrified me. I gulped in return.
I pulled his head toward me; my heart pounding hard against my chest. I could
feel it nearly tear open my ribcage it was so fucking strong. I pulled away,
resting my forehead against his gently. My eyes were closed then I opened them
slowly. What the hell was I doing? I despised him.
"Eva, come to my car. Tell your friend you have a ride already, with me." He
whispered, with every word I felt his warm breath smothering my face. Jesus
fucking Christ.
I sucked in my lip. I smell like Harry Styles. I wanted to finish what we
started after lunch in the lockers. I was conflicted.
I grabbed his face, kissing him with a force I didn't know existed in me. God
fucking aye I wanted him. I had a desire to rip off all his clothes and finish
everything we both wanted earlier.
I pulled away harshly when I felt him kiss me back. The look on his face was
nothing but shock and lust. Jeez, I'm a horrible person. But god damn it! It
was his fault.
I let go of his face and gave him a hard slap across his cheek. He didn't care,
that only turned his eyes darker. Like a vampire, he lunged across and
straddled my hips on the bench, oblivious to anyone watching. I didn't even
think of it either. He dove for my neck, making tiny trails of kisses and I
brought my arms tightly around him, holding him harder against me.
"I'm so fucking angry at you." I moaned when his tongue darted out, licking the
spots he kissed, making my moans more predominant.
"I know. I don't care." He breathed against my chest, his lips kissing the tops
of my breasts above my shirt. "You drive me fucking crazy."
Cursing always sounded sexier in an English accent; especially Harry's. I
grabbed the back of his head, a handful of his curl in my fist, bunching them
in a raw fashion. His head rose up to meet mine. He licked his lips and brought
them closer to mine. "Relax, just relax." He said against my lips before
capturing my mouth in a swift kiss that hit me throughout my entire body.
He was getting softer now, taking his time with each kiss, looking at me as he
kissed a new spot. I couldn't believe what was happening. Somebody would
probably catch us eventually. Didn't he think of that? Maybe he didn't care,
but I did. Only a little. His hands were grabbing my breasts, making me care a
little less about outside noise.
He was about to close the gap again, feeling his lips brush against mine.
My phone beeped and vibrated. He felt it too and sighed, giving that sexy groan
as his head buried itself into my neck. "Fuck." Don't fucking curse.
As good as this feels I knew I had to stop it. My only good excuse is academic
explosion.
I finally found my strength and pushed him halfway off of me; reluctantly
looking at him. "I have to go."
"I know." He sounded angry. But in reality we were doing something so naughty I
didn't think we would get away with it this long.
Harry looked at me, cupping my cheek. His face softened as he gave me a small
smile.
Wait. Wasn't I mad at him? What the fuck? How does he do this? I shook out of
the cloudy lust and abruptly slipped out from under him. His jacket was still
on me so I immediately took it off. The chill hitting my skin the instant I
threw it back at him. He threw me back an amusing look easily catching it.
"You're welcome." His tongue licked the bottom of his lips.
I rolled my eyes, checking my message. It was De. Her mom is here. I scoped my
bag up, wincing at the weight I carried. "Well, goodbye Harry."
I wanted to make it short and light. Nothing that will give him any clues. I
didn't want him to get the idea I was "that girl." This is why I avoided guys
in the first place. The ones that actually showed interest anyway.
He chuckled deep into his throat. Stop. Fucking. Doing. That. "It's not goodbye
love, its goodnight."
He grinned like a Cheshire cat, the twinkle in his eyes noticeable even in the
dark shadows of the evening.
De's mom came from the parking lot entrance. I turned around, not saying
anything. Damn it. I looked over and waved her mom closer. I didn't turn around
to stare at Harry because I knew he was waiting for me to say something. In all
honesty, I couldn't find a retort. The usual sarcasm vanished from vocabulary.
I ran over to De's mom's car parked and opened the back seat, getting in. I
stared forward; my eyes were glued to the back of the passenger's seat.
I think Harry Styles is the first guy to make me tongue-tied. Shit. I was
fucked.
***** Chapter 9 *****
After I was dropped off by De's mom and stepped near my home I finally began to
chillax. I unlocked the door, walked inside the house and realized it was
empty. Dad wasn't kidding about working late. Normally he's home around this
time. Maybe it was an emergency. I shrugged when I didn't see a note and walked
up the stairs; the sound of my feet hitting the carpeted stairs was louder than
anything as I went up to my room. I got a couple of texts from De asking what
happened to me after the impromptu food fight.
I sent her a text back saying I didn't get caught and that was it. I debated
for a second whether to tell her about Harry. The truth is I didn't know. He
could be a fluke, or even a floozy. I don't know what's happening between us, I
don't know if I should think of it anymore either.
Good god, Harry. Why is he so fucking unavoidable? I can't say no to him. I'm
starting to think this is what he does. Ugh, here I go again. I'm probably one
of his many bitches in a sea of whore delicatessens. But why was he kissing me
the way he was? Almost like he knew me, knew exactly what I liked. Who I am.
Damn him for making me want more of him. Ugh, fuck him.
Then there's Louis, I feel like he really digs me. Why would he constantly find
ways to be around me today? So did Harry. That asshole. Louis wins, he doesn't
confuse me.
Harry scares me. I mean he is an asshole, cocky, confident and practically got
me wrapped around his finger. Damn it. He doesn't mean anything to me. I just
met the dick.
Is he? He wasn't really forcing anything on me. In fact I started it. Fuck. He
knew what he was doing.
I collapsed on my bed, blowing my hair out of my eyes. Why can't I stop
thinking about Harry? His smell, his voice, his face, all of him. His washboard
chest practically pressed against mine, making my nipples at a standstill. My
hands flowed and touched my body, my curves until they reached my legs.
I peeled myself off the bed and got undressed. I kept imagining Harry's hands
replacing mine removing the articles of clothing slowly. God damn it. What
can't these flashes go away? I really don't know this guy. He doesn't know me.
Shouldn't it just end there?
I looked up and noticed my window was still open. No wonder it was so chilly in
here. I grabbed my silk bath robe, the one I feel weird wearing around my dad.
I think it might make me look too sexy for my age. I developed later than most
girls. I sense my dad wants to keep me his little girl for as long as he can. I
tightened the knot on the robe and walked to go shut the window.
I reached up and saw the neighbors next door with their lights on. It must have
been the new neighbors from this morning. The moving truck was still parked
where the mailbox was and there were two, actually three cars ahead of it. I
noticed the silver Honda parked behind the two dark ones and thought that
reminds me of dad's used car. Could be just a coincidence. I shrugged sighing
as I reached again to pull down the window. This reminded me of my locker, aka
the fucker that won't budge. The house was old but not fossilized.
I was annoyed. I pulled all of my body weight up and finally got it loose. I
was about to close it when I saw a figure walk out the back entrance of the new
neighbor's place.
It was a boy, wearing a dark beanie, taking out a cigarette with his mouth,
lighting it up with his other hand. He gave a strong puff and turned his face
around him. It was like he was checking if he was alone. All I could really
make out was his head which was covered and face buried in the darkness. He
looked bad, dangerous and in deep thought. It had to have been bad thoughts for
him to smoking. When my dad sneaks a smoke I snatch it from his mouth and stomp
on it hard in front of him. I know why he does it too.
But this guy, I just watched him, wondering what he was going to do next. It
looked like he had an itch near his eye and rubbed at the corner quickly. Was
he upset? I haven't been around a lot of guys when they are vulnerable but I
know most of them when they're alone and think no one is watching cry. Oh god,
I have to be reading way too much into this. But, I can't help but feel
empathetic. I hate seeing people cry and be weak. It's uncomfortable and I
never know how to react. Do I cry with them? Hug? Just listen? My dad used to
cry often when it was Christmas or my mother's birthday.
The chilly air hit my arms suddenly, bringing me back. I can't stand to look at
this anymore. Maybe this guy had a secret he didn't want anyone to know. Maybe
he just found out.
Maybe Harry Styles had a secret he didn't want me to know. Perhaps it's true
since I don't know a god damn thing about the horny bastard.
I found myself watching this guy. Why? He was probably just like any other guy
out there. Just an average dude; I could never understand boys for the life of
me. Maybe Harry was like one of those guys. Someone I'll never fully know.
He'll use me until I fall for him and drop me like a rag when I confess to it.
Well hell no. Harry may be that guy exactly and I'm wasting my time.
It's only day one. I feel like I should be committed in the asylum after all
these theories. Who is the real Harry Styles? I may never know.
"Harry, come inside sweetheart. Dinner's ready." My head popped into red alert
at those words.
My mouth hung open as I saw the boy, er, Harry instantly stub out the near
finished cigarette flip off his beanie, ruffling his hair.
He looked down before at the screen door behind him. "Coming Mum."
I knew that desert voice from anywhere.
Harry Styles was my new next door neighbor. I felt my legs go weak and the next
moment all I saw was black.
***** Chapter 10 *****
"Yes he fucking is De! It's true."
"Wait what? Slow down and say it again."
"Harry fucking Styles lives right next to me." I basically spat with annoyance.
I knew my friend wouldn't get it like I did but this was big news.
De laughed on the other end of the line. Oh god, how could she think any of
this is funny? "Dude, what's the big? You have an extremely hot exchange
student living next to you. This is like ten thousand steps ahead of Debbie and
the 'tard clan."
I wanted to tell her the real reason I'm freaking out but I don't know. I just
didn't. It was too torrid. I felt a little embarrassed. I don't put out easily
and she knows that.
"That's not the point De. Now it's going to be even harder to avoid him. I
don't know how he's going to react when he finds out. Jesus this is a cluster
fuck."
De sighed, that ugly deep exhalation she does when she's annoyed with me. "Stop
stressing. It could be a good thing. Maybe someone actually good looking will
be on our side for once. Hey…what if?"
"What if what?"
"What if you two hooked up and stuffed it back at the morons at school? Do you
know what kind of slap in the face that would be to Debbie? Go along with it.
What if he actually likes you?"
I narrowed my eyes and sat on my stomach on my bed. "You mean use him? I don't
know. Come on, I don't know if he even likes me. British people are so
unfeeling I don't even know where to start."
Not this one, I knew deep down. Maybe I had a inkling.
"Dude, the guy is charming. The entire school is already tweeting about him. If
he really likes you it's a win-win. Don't be scared of him."
I'm not scared of him. I'm scared of my behavior if I'm near him. "I'm not
scared. He doesn't think of me. Plus he's new and there's still a chance the
eating disorders could snatch their Leigh press-on nails onto him before I
could get his attention."
Harry Styles belonged with them, not me. It's just the way our school worked.
No one questioned the rules and no one bothered to change them. People have
made attempts but the plastic pushup bras always got their way. They own
everyone and everything.
"You're freaking out over nothing. He'll be so proud to be with you. I would if
I swung that way."
I laughed despite myself. Then I turned serious again. De was right. But then
she doesn't know what we did. Could he though?
"You really think he might be into me? We barely, like, we never went out yet.
I can't tell based on today."
De cleared her throat. "If he makes excuses to be around you, he fucking likes
you. Also, if he waits to have sex with you."
I laughed really loud and nodded, it was mostly true. With Harry it was odd. It
seemed like Harry was already heading to that direction with me. I wonder what
that means. Then he has this other side to him that I just found out. The
smoking-I-sorta-hate-my-life-side. Maybe Louis isn't the only sensitive guy out
there.
Or in our neighborhood. Jesus, Harry is my neighbor. It's like a hot guy
overload. I was shying under Louis for all those years now I have Harry to
worry about.
Or did I? Who says I have to give him anymore attention? He doesn't own me. He
isn't my boyfriend, he isn't my anything.
One day. Grow up; you're just a kid and so is he. Just one day of his kisses I
could do without. It stops after today. Just because we have so many
opportunities that may bring us together doesn't mean shit.
I'm still a badass. I still own my identity. I don't fall for guys and their
charms. I look but don't touch. It's worked out for me since I was a freshman.
I won't get distracted anymore.
I'll just avoid him using my Scorpio spy moves. It is after all the best sign
of the zodiac. The only vice is it makes me highly jealous if I'm into someone.
Thank god I'm not. I'm pretty determined when I want something. But I'm not
going to worry anymore.
I told De I'll see her tomorrow morning and she mentioned that she can't come
get me. I told her it was fine, I was going to walk to the stop. Maybe some
walking will do me good, get some much needed oxygen up there so I can think
clearly. After the day I had, I still can't believe a lot of it really
happened.
First day synopsis: I could honestly say it wasn't hella boring. Louis flirted
with me a bit and kinda stalked me which was what I secretly wanted him to do.
Now if only he'd show more interest, I'd melt for him. Harry was a minor
fallout. We have many things that will bring us together so I just have to get
really good acting skills when it comes to being near him. Leave early for
school so he doesn't see, sit far away in all the classes I have with him and
stare in the opposite direction if we both happen to meet at our lockers; stuff
like that.
Still, I sighed. Seeing that image of him wiping the corner of his eyes, why
did it crack my heart? And the way he kissed me, it wasn't rough or even
rushed. He took his time. At one point I opened my eyes and saw his were closed
so tight. He didn't hide the passion when he kissed me. It got more intense the
longer we did it. Aside from just knowing his name and the accent, it's just
odd how good it felt. How well he fit. I found myself struggling to pull away
and felt cold when I did.
I couldn't tell him that, boys in high school aren't that deep, maybe as deep
as a bird bath and that's it. Brain hurts. Stop doing this to yourself Evie. He
isn't worth it. No, no, no!
I groaned not believing a word of it. He kisses like an angel. I got dizzy the
last time and nearly fell over when I tried to get away. I just want to bury
this already. Ignore Harry, make fun of school, lampoon "the fatties" and enjoy
being anonymous. And possibly go down on Louis. I smiled at the thought of it.
I think I have the lips for it. Knowing guys that's something a guy will never
tell you to stop doing: blow jobs. Hell even if the world was ending and they
haven't popped a load in 2 days it's irrefutable. It's that fucking important.
No matter how small their wiener could be.
I took off my robe since I was feeling a bit hot and put on my loose PJ pants
and matching pink top. I couldn't help but go over the events of today. I knew
it was only 9pm but I wanted to wake up early tomorrow.
And steer far away from Harry Styles as I can.
***** Chapter 11 *****
The next morning I woke up to the sounds of distant high tempo music. Dad
doesn't play music in the mornings. Weird. I opened my eyes adjusting to the
brightness of the light that seeped from the hem of the curtains. The room was
so hot. Maybe I should have kept my window open. I actually do often crack it
sometimes to ventilate the room. I rubbed my eyes and rose from the bed,
throwing off the covers.
Is that rock music? Oh god no. Dad never listened to that crap since its all
about sex and drugs. Least that's what he told me.
I got up and did my usual washing. Same old school shit, just another day.
Today my outfit is going to scream that or at least subtly yell it.
Once I got ready, I walked closer to the music. The Beatles? Since when was he
a fan of British Top40? I shook my head and went to the radio. I turned down
the volume and looked around for my dad. He emerged from the garage door with a
big smile on his face as he greeted me in a hug.
I hugged him back. My dad was affectionate but he was rarely random with it.
"Morning dad. Sorry I missed you yesterday. How did you sleep?"
He kissed my cheek and went over to the stove. "Just great. Um, how were you
yesterday? I didn't mean to leave you alone."
I shrugged, sitting on the stool watching him cook breakfast. "Was OK. Why?
Where were you last night? Was it work?"
I assumed he was going to affirm that until he paused. "Actually I was next
door meeting the new neighbors. Have you met them?"
He turned back to look at me and I shook my head. "Oh, I was just helping them
out, you know, to move in."
"Cool." I didn't know what to say since I already knew who lived there. How I
know isn't important for him to know.
He was humming to the next song on the radio. "Nice family. They have a boy
around your age. He was very polite. Helping his mom and dad when they asked.
And quiet."
Harry? Quiet? I wouldn't believe it. "Oh that's nice."
"I spoke with his mother for a long time. She was talking to me about how hard
it was to leave England. Oh, they aren't from California, sorry I didn't
mention that."
Already knew. "No sweat." I cleared my throat. Just how long was my dad over at
Harry Styles' abode? "Um, so about my ride today "
Dad served the food on the plates and brought them over, wiping his hands on
the dish towel. I picked up my fork and dove in.
"About that "
"Work again? It's cool if-"
He held up his hand to stop me. "No, it isn't that sweetheart. I was actually
thinking, since this boy, his name is Harry, he goes to your school and drives
a very clean car, maybe he could take you today. I asked his mom and she was
fine with it."
Oh she did huh? What did Harry say I wonder? Did he protest or abide? "Um, but
what about, him?" My dad looked at me. "Harry, like he doesn't know me. Won't
that be awkward and weird for him?"
My dad held my hand that was balled up in a beginning fist. I didn't realize
just the mere mention of Harry's name could get a reaction so fast; albeit a
negative one. I almost lost it until my dad reminded me. Fuck. Gotta control it
better.
"I know you're more used to me taking you. I have a good feeling about this
Evie. Come on, do this one favor for me, just today. He's a nice kid. He
actually agreed to do it right away."
Fuck me. Now he's got my dad manipulated too. Harry Styles was a charmer. He
could charm anyone and now my dad was falling for his antics.
Holy shit, it's just a ride to school. Just once my dad said, is that all? The
look in dad's eyes was almost begging me. I hated seeing him disappointed in
me. He's been my only rock of encouragement and he wants the best for me. I
trusted him.
I didn't trust Harry.
"All this because his car is clean? Dad " I whined but he still gave me that
look. "OK, fine, sure. Let me finish getting ready, I'm early today."
So much for avoiding his ass today like I planned. I rinsed off the rest of my
food in the sink. I didn't feel up to eating the hefty portion I normally eat.
In fact, I felt my stomach might bring up the food I already consumed. My dad
seemed really into this idea and it was just weird as fuck. I don't think Harry
knew it was me. It could just be another Eva or something and maybe he said yes
on a whim.
Why do I get the feeling this was all planned? I must have rolled my eyes about
a zillion times when my dad turned around to get ready. I hadn't noticed he
came down in his robe and moccasins. He was normally more "on time." I think
it's to distract himself from thinking of mom.
I took a long sip of my OJ and placed it in the sink, rinsing everything off. I
wiped my hands on the towel and took a deep breath.
"I can do this. It's just a ride." I can't believe I was actually saying these
words. I went over to mirror and looked at what I wore. I smirked and then
scowled.
Jesus, this ensemble was definitely putting out that fuck off all penises vibe,
which is what I wanted it to do. If Harry sees me like this then what will
happen? Why do I give a shit?
I sighed harshly and went to gather the remainder of my things for the day.
Prince Will-Harry Styles awaits in his dark scary car to whisk me off to the
mind-numbing paradise that is school. Oh fuckity joy.
I called out to my dad giving him a short bye, enjoy your day and opened the
front door. It was so hot outside I had to shield my eyes with my arm and
adjusted to the sunshine. I spotted a beautiful woman with gorgeous, straight
long brown hair in a loose ponytail standing near the front of what looked like
an illegally tinted windowed Lexis. I closed the door behind, swallowed and
swung my backpack so it was firmly on me.
I breathed in, walking toward the car ahead. The women turned around and I was
greeted with the largest whitest smile and big blue eyes. She had a twinkle in
her eye; it resembled Harry's when he smiled wide.
"Good morning, I'm Anne, Harry's mum, you must be Eva." She held out her hand
in front me.
Manners Evie. I accepted it, returning the smile. "Good morning Mrs. Styles.
Nice to meet you."
She laughed almost like a little girl would. "Oh it's OK to call me Anne dear.
I don't mind."
I heard footsteps behind me and I knew this was coming; the inevitable.
"Mom, we gotta go or we'll be late." Harry said, I turned to face him.
Eying him so only he could see it. Fuck he looked delicious. I narrowed my
stare. "Harry."
"Eva." He said my name so sweetly, I hated it. He looked to his mom and raised
his eyebrows.
Anne gave him a stern look, but then softened instantly. She walked over and
gave him kiss on his cheek, hugging him tightly. He didn't protest like most
guys would, nor feel embarrassed. It seemed like he was really comfortable
being affectionate around his mom; a rarity among the penis brigade. When Anne
looked at me, she smiled and waved. When she walked away I said nothing. I
couldn't find the words.
It wasn't until Harry finally said something that I snapped my attention awake
again.
"You coming love?" He more whispered it to me, watching his mother walk over to
their garage, getting inside her own car.
"I guess." My voice was drab but at least it was the truth to this unfortunate
obligation.
"I could feel the enthusiasm, try and tone it down babe."
I stared at him pointedly. "Watch it."
All he did was smirk and laugh in my face. I groaned when he walked around the
driver's seat and opened the door, getting in.
He cleared his throat, I rolled my eyes and reached for the backseat, where it
was safer and pulled it. Locked. Oh fuck this fucker.
"Front seat, beautiful." Harry grinned pointing to the passenger seat.
"No thank you. Back will do just fine."
"Now, now, let's be nice to each other."
"I feel more comfortable sitting in the backseat. Open the door Harry."
"Do you really wanna piss off my mum? You just met her, it isn't very polite.
Come on love." He pouted, it made me want to gag what little I eat.
He's right about that. Ugh, fuck this. I made a mental note not to stare in his
direction and ignore everything he says.
I bit my tongue and reluctantly opened the front seat, getting in. The AC was
turned up full blast hitting my face and the radio was playing some aberrant
punk music I didn't recognize. Shit, this is where I'm going to die. When I
shut the door Harry locked it with a loud click. Great. Now it felt like I was
on child-lock and he was keeping me held up in his scary car.
He gave a wave to his mom and drove out of the neighborhood finally. I prayed
this will all be over soon. I actually couldn't wait to get to school. Imagine
that? Harry made me long for my academics, hell hath officially frozen over.
It was quiet for a few moments until Harry reached to turn down the music.
"So you're my new neighbor, interesting."
"Yeah, it's thrilling. I can barely contain my excitement as you keep saying."
He snorted a laugh. "Honey, if that was genuine you wouldn't feel the need to
start with the sarcasm. Now what kind of housewarming present is that?"
"It isn't, that's the point. You do that only when you actually want to welcome
someone to the neighborhood."
He slowed down the car, his throat prominently. "Is there a reason why you're
so mad at me or do you want me to guess? On second thought, it's much more fun
that way."
I leaned against the window, staring off, sighing. Really it wasn't him. I
closed my eyes, feeling tired and drained. I kept them closed for a while. I
felt the words slipping out of my mouth sullenly.
"I'm not mad at you Harry. You're not that important for me to feel hatred
over."
"Hatred? That's a strong word now. All I said was are you mad. I didn't know
your unnecessary, intense dislike ran deeper."
I finally turned around; my eyes were exhausted and bored. "Harry just stop."
He immediately pulled the car off the street roads and over to the nearest side
walk and stopped. I looked at him in shock.
"You said stop."
He smirked at me, putting the car in park and tapped the steering wheel with
his finger. What the hell was he doing?
I tried to reason with him. "No, I mean stop with the questions."
Harry flipped his curls over, they were in his eyes. It was probably the
sexiest thing I've ever seen. Ugh, distractions. You jack off.
"I don't believe you."
I gave him the stink eye. "This is like a nightmare. Just drive us to school
already."
Harry moved toward my face so he was dangerously close to my lips. Oh no, pull
back. He looked into my eyes; it was like he was trying to find something.
Truth. And the truth was
My breathing hitched and I grabbed his gorgeous face, pressing my lips so hard
against his I felt him groan against me. Shit, I was kissing Harry Styles again
and god help me, I was enjoying all of it. I cupped his face, bringing him
closer to me. Making him feel how just much I wanted this. He kissed me back
with a roar, pushing me further into the seat, his tongue peaking out when I
opened my mouth for him, granting him permission.
He was the first to pull away after a few moments. Out of breathe no less. He
looked scared, he was shaking, and his hands were on the shifting gears visibly
rattling in front of me. I covered his hand with mine; he stopped and looked at
it. He looked at me, licking his lips, taking his hand off the gear and putting
it on my cheek. He kept it there as his forehead touched mine.
"I don't deserve you. You're such a good girl. So beautiful you deserve so much
better." Was he really pulling away? Him? Pulling away from me? I felt him pull
but I stopped him.
I was frantic now. Scared out of my mind.
"I can't ignore this." I couldn't believe I said this. Where was my head being
the logical one here? "We can't ignore this."
I kissed him gently. I could feel his heart beating faster than mine.
"I know." He took my hands and kissed them. "You won't like me when you find
out who I am."
"How do you know that Harry?" I asked, the urgency in my voice was too obvious
to ignore. I don't know where all of this was coming from. I guess this is what
it means to speak from your feelings. So my elders keep saying.
He kissed my cheek and fell back in his seat, staring forward. He buried his
face in his hands as I watched his. His back arching as his fingers covered his
eyes.
"Harry, look at me. Come on." I was starting to get really worried. It was like
confident, assured Harry was replaced by his polar opposite. I didn't like
this, not at all. "Harry." I whispered in his ear.
He looked at me, it was strained and frayed. Jesus, was he really doing this?
"I can't make you happy Eva. I can't."
Liar. "Can't or won't?"
He banged his hands on the wheel. "Stop it. Stop trying to know me. I can't be
what you want." His head was against the wheel while his arms concealed his
eyes.
If I saw his eyes I'd know. He knew that so he hid them. He was being like
this. OK fine then. "Alright, drive me to school Harry."
His head lifted and opened his mouth and tried to speak but I stopped him. "Do
it."
"Do what? Eva? Wake up?" I felt something nudge me and I jolted my body in the
contorted position I was in. Against the window?!
My eyes opened and I lifted my head, rubbing my eyes. "Wha?"
A deep chuckle was heard next to me. "You OK there?" Harry.
I turned my head, had I been dreaming all along? Oh shit. None of it happened.
"Thank god."
"Haha, thank god what?" He unbuckled his seat belt, turning his body to look at
me. He seemed entertained by this.
"Nothing. It's nothing." I noticed we were near the residential roads of the
school. "Oh fuck, we're here."
I unbuckled, wincing as I did but Harry stopped me before I could open the
door.
His face looked uncertain but then turned serious in a flash. He attempted to
get the words out.
"I just want to say if I hurt you, I'm sorry."
I blinked five times in a row. Harry was apologizing? I was wondering who made
him go there. His type didn't touch the sorry card unless there was something
in it for him.
But I believed him, in that moment, I did. I nodded. "It's fine. Let's just
move on." I really did want to not think this anymore. Whatever it was he did I
didn't care any longer.
Harry bit his lip; he looked like a little boy unsure again. I smiled, making
him smile back. It reached his eyes. "Still, sorry. I thought yesterday when
you ran, after that, what happened I mean, I thought you were angry."
I smiled sadly. "No it wasn't anything you did. I, uh, never done anything like
that before so, I was worried someone might catch us. I thought you were "
"You thought I didn't care? I wanted you to get in trouble? No, things just got
carried away I guess. A little too carried away. I've never done something like
that either."
Really? Wow. I would be shocked if that were really true. He acted so confident
with his intentions. "Right, well, it's OK."
Harry reached for my hand, taking it in his. "You're so intense. You remind of
one of my friends back home. So sensitive, worried about the little things."
"Yeah, it's called being a girl." I clicked my tongue. "I'm not really that
intense."
"I know." He stuck out his tongue looked at me with his wide green eyes. "So
our parents want us to come to dinner at mine tonight. Your dad helped us a lot
last night."
"Oh, yeah he mentioned that this morning. I woke up to Beatles music and now I
know why. Americans so wanna be English."
"And English people wanna be nobody. They don't even wanna be English."
I laughed, blushing as I did. I felt much calmer now. Much more at ease. "I
think we're gonna be late."
"What class you got?"
I looked at my sheet even though I memorized it practically. "Uh what do you
know?" I paused and looked at him with a smirk. "English."
My stomach grumbled. Fuck. Harry heard it because he looked like he was going
to burst out laughing. "Hungry?"
"I uh, didn't eat much breakfast. It's OK. I'll go get something at lunch.
Probably double what I normally eat." I pulled my bag with me, unlocking the
door.
I shut the door when I climbed out but turned around. "Thanks for the ride
Harry."
He smirked, leaned back in his chair, "You're still gonna be my tour guide?"
"Yeah, I am."
***** Chapter 12 *****
I took my seat next to Louis and wondered over some things.
What the hell was up with that dream? Did it mean anything? Do dreams ever tell
the future? Like that premonition shit Phoebe Halliwell can do on Charmed?
"Hey babe, how are you?" Louis spoke in my ear. I could smell his cologne and
nearly closed my eyes, smiling.
We were in the auditorium so the students were sitting in the audience area,
watching the teacher yack away about breathing, marks and punctuated speech. I
heard every other because Louis kept mocking the teacher and his noticeable
Maine accent. It was just pure awesome. I could count on Louis to bring the
funny.
It's a shame I didn't have more classes with him. His cologne smelled like
heaven and I wanna fuck you in god's golden gates. Well, it seemed that way.
Every so often I'd catch Louis glancing at me even though we were already so
close our elbows are practically touching. Louis can touch me; it's a major
green light over here.
Why can't he see that? Does he need a little encouragement? Not all guys are
Harry, going for the ones with a pulse. Louis was different. He actually talked
to me and listened. I dug that. I'm pretty sure he has a penis from what I've
seen in the shows but he has girlies traits. If more guys were like Louis then
I'd put all this unused, pent up flirting to good use.
I dropped my pen from the fast writing and went to pick it up quickly. Louis
dove when I did and bumped his head against mine.
We both whispered our ouches and the teacher gawked at us. We looked at each
other; Louis bent down to grab my pen quickly before I could think and
presented it like it was a wand from Hogwarts. He made sound effects to which
the class laughed at then some ugly looks were thrown from some equally ugly
faces on a few girls. Jealous bitches.
"Sorry." He whispered again. He looked over my paper, raising his eyebrow.
"You're taking an awful lot of notes love."
"I never took the class before. You're supposed to be writing notes too." I
reminded him and he stuck out his tongue crossing his eyes and went back to
writing.
"Probably, but I never take notes. He never tests us. He talks a lot but it's
all natural for us when we get onstage. Of course we need to know our marks and
cues but you can't fail acting."
I really liked listening to Louis talk about his passions. I never knew he was
so into this. You'd think he was gunning for a junior SAG card fairly soon.
That's something I like to hear about. People having goals and ambitions to be
something in life. As young we are this is our time to just play and work
really hard to see what we're good at. I looked at Louis with green eyes, more
envy than color. It sounds like he has it all figured out.
I always approached school as something I had to do. It wasn't that it was
completely boring, but I don't know, I keep changing my mind a lot when it came
to what exactly it was I wanted. Boys would often distract me as they are doing
right now. But this boy was not lost like everyone else. You ask the average
high school boy what he wants to do in life and he will choose business. Why?
Business involves no real imagination. No arts. And guys will never be
specific, it's always some shit like they want to do what their fathers want
them to do. Choosing business as a life path is almost self-destructive.
"You're probably right." I snuggled into the seat, my elbow bumping his.
"Sorry."
"You're good." He winked at me looking over my shoulder like an obnoxious kid
would. His lips curved in a thin smile. "Wow, you write a lot."
A habit I can't break. "Yeah, I know you probably can't fail the class but I
still want to get a good grade."
Louis waved his hand off at my comment. He propped his feet on top of the empty
chair in front. "You worry too much babe. Enjoy it. You're with Louis now. It's
just the first week. Have fun."
I got a little turned on the way he said fun. Stressing his accent on the word.
Louis had a sexy accent my god. I almost feel like a fangirl being so close to
him. It's a miracle I kept my composure and haven't scared him away just yet.
He may like me after all.
There was only 15 minutes of class left and the teacher was still rattling on
about the history of acting and Shakespeare's famous Globe Theater. Even boys
back then played the girl parts. No women aloud on stage. Well isn't that
sexiest? Good to know times have changed and females can act in plays with guys
who look like Louis. Goody.
I sighed and folded up my note pad, putting it inside my bag. Maybe Louis was
right. I should just enjoy myself more in these types of classes. I felt him
take my hand as I came up. He was holding onto it so loosely, turning my palm
over to draw circles around it. Um, hell yes. I acted like nothing out of the
ordinary was going on as he continued his little gesture. Shit, why do I get
the feeling Harry would be livid if he saw us touching, even if it's the most
innocent of touches. Is Harry even the jealous type? Probably not.
I started closing my eyes but shot them back open when I felt Louis' index
finger draw circles beyond my hand. My wrist was being touched slightly; I
couldn't help but sink into the chair. My reaction was written all over my
face. Louis was never this touchy before, holy shit. I'm gonna squeak. Please
don't. I held in the crazy noises that wanted to come out. So badly they did.
God Louis, keep doing it. Whatever the fuck it is you're doing to me. My pulse
was getting more erratic when he reached my elbow, tracing it with his fingers.
My jaw was hanging low and the soft moans were getting harder to keep in. The
teacher's back was turned as he was writing something on the board ahead. I
ignored it and turned my face, sinking further in the chair, leaning the back
of my head against the top part. I felt like I might slide all the way down
now.
Louis looked over and briefly smirked. He knew exactly what he was fucking
doing to me. "So tense love. So bloody tense." He looked at me longer this
time, his eyes locking to mine. "This feel good?"
I closed my eyes, hiding in the chair now so the teacher couldn't see me
anymore. My moans were about to release when he drew a line with his finger
from my elbow to my wrist and back to my fingers where he laced them together
with mine. "Yeah " Was all I could really say. Fuck, this shit was making me
shake like a car motor.
"Louis "I breathed out. That stilled his motions, making them slower.
"Yes, Eva?" He stared back at the teacher innocently, glancing at me from the
side.
"I like this, a lot. Hmm, but the teacher could catch us." I sounded like a
poor man's Marilyn Monroe. Thank you Louis.
"You think so? He's barely looking at us love. Relax." I felt him drop his warm
hand from my hands now to my thigh, inching closer near my inner thigh. Jesus
H. Christ.
I stopped his hand before he reached toward my heat. And it was indeed hot; you
could feel it without touching it. Louis laughed softly. It was music to my
ears.
I licked my lips, "Not here."
He took my fingers, lacing them again. "Where? When then?" Holy shit, was the
hottest drama geek propositioning me?
"Outside. Let's get out of here." I looked at the clock and nodded to him.
Class was shuffling out and Louis and I ravenously grabbed our things making
our way out.
***** Chapter 13 *****
Louis pulled me downstairs in the school basement. It was empty thank god. I
looked at him, a little unsure.
He saw me hide my face and tightened his hold over my hand. "Are you ok?"
Truth was I didn't know. I am hardly the spontaneous type and this is what I
wanted but, I don't know.
I looked at him, kind of scared. "Louis " I started to say but stopped. "I'm
sorry."
He followed me in the another room and closed the door. We sat on top of the
washing machines silently. I could feel him looking at me and I know he was
waiting for me to speak but I couldn't say anything. I looked at the ground. My
eyes were dancing with nerves.
"Do you wanna talk?"
"No I just," I was struggling with it but it needed to be said. "It's just
weird."
Louis' face turned serious when he turned mine to look at him. He dropped it
and took my hand. Why was I being so weird now? A second ago I thought I wanted
this.
"What's weird, love? Tell me." I looked in his eyes, searching for a hint of
sarcasm. It didn't exist.
I gulped, sliding off the machine. I was moving around, I couldn't keep still.
"Why are you talking to me?"
Louis' face pulled back as he hoped off the machine coming near me with worried
eyes. "What do you mean?"
"Why all of a sudden are you talking to me?" My voice was impatient. "Why?" I
repeated, more stolid this time.
Louis smiled, looking down shyly, then to the side. His eyes found mine again.
"I like you. I always did since your family moved to the neighborhood." He
rubbed the back of his neck, giving a short nervous laugh. "I was too scared to
really talk to you. You were always that girl I couldn't have. I don't know. I
watch you a lot. I know it sounds creepy, but I do like you. I have for a
while."
My eyes narrowed on him. I can actually sympathize with him. I always thought
in my wildest dreams he could be my first kiss.
That was Harry Styles, he didn't know that. Why was I thinking of Harry again
when Louis just told me what I wanted to hear for so long?
I was so involved in my thoughts I didn't notice Louis coming toward me. I
cleared my throat, trying to say something.
I looked at him watching me; the serious look he held could break or beam. My
lips curved up.
"I watch you too. I didn't, I didn't think you liked me. Ever. I don't know, I
give off a weird vibe to guys here. Because I'm not, you know, popular."
Louis closed the gap and held my hand. "You're you and that's why I like you.
Who says you have to be popular for people to like you?"
I couldn't believe what was happening. I almost didn't think it was real. I
didn't think any guy would say those words.
"I really like you too. You're so confident. You have these girls after you. I
didn't think you thought of me from all that attention." I laughed
pathetically. Jesus, I was embarrassing myself with the rambling.
I looked up to see those perfect teeth of his grinning from ear to ear.
"There's always one who stands out."
I felt like hiding my face from all the red that was forming but he wouldn't
let me. "Can't believe this."
"Believe it. Louis likes Eva, and Eva likes him back. It's official. Let's
shout it off the school roof." He pretended to go but stopped when he saw me
laughing at him.
"You're crazy." I bit my lip. I was feeling all exposed. This was really scary
for me. Wow. No boy told me they liked me, Louis was the first.
He smirked at me and again the old jokester Louis had returned. He made a funny
face while lacing his fingers with mine.
"Come on then. Let's get out of here." His voice got so confident out of
nowhere; it was really turning me on.
We walked out of the stuffy basement. I held onto him tight while we ran out to
the quad near the benches and raced to sit down first. My bag was thrown
somewhere, I wasn't paying attention. Improvised game, totally Louis and
random. I giggled as I sat on his lap accidently while trying to win. He
grabbed my waist. I slowed down a bit but he still held onto me. I gave him an
amused look.
"What? Is this highly inappropriate? I can continue if you agree."
"Louis you're a sick man."
"Compliments? I'm touched babe. Gimmie more please." He closed his eyes and
hugged me, looking up at me, his blue eyes shimmering in the sun's vision.
"Hehe, get off me, lord." I faux huffed.
"No its Louis or Master Jedi Louis thanks."
I turned to glance at him, eying him with a straight face. "How about prig?" I
wiggled to get out and he finally let me go.
"Oh I get it." I looked at him lost. "You're pissed off because I didn't ask
the question yet. Right then, let's do this properly."
"What question?"
Louis knelt down, taking my hands, I looked around, it was a good thing we were
alone or this would have looked embarrassing. What if Harry saw us? Damn it.
Stop thinking of him.
I rolled my eyes, pulling him up. He barked an ouch but I ignored it. I looked
back at him and noticed his features were softer, shyer.
"Eva, will you go out with me tonight?" He said his voice full of hope.
"She's having dinner with me tonight mate." What the hell? Harry? God no. I
hoped I was just dreaming this time also.
I turned around, Louis nearly frowned as he looked at Harry. I looked at Harry
myself. He had some nerve. If my breath could come out in flames you'd see it
right now. I was staring daggers. He did not just say what he said.
Louis shook his head and offered his hand to Harry, ever the gentleman. "Nice
to meet you, I'm Louis."
Harry hesitated before giving him a firm, guy shake. "Yeah, Harry. Eva's having
dinner at mine tonight. Sorry about that mate."
How snotty of him! The sarcasm dripping from his words were enough to knee him
in the family jewels if it wasn't for Louis standing there.
"Harry, leave please." Harry's eyes flickered to mine for a moment. I couldn't
tell if he was mad at me or just being an alpha male. It still scared me.
"Harry "
His features changed and the hard, rough look was replaced by the cocky one I
saw at the stop yesterday. "Pick you up after school, love. See ya then." He
looked at Louis again.
I did a silent apology to Louis with my eyes and when I turned around Harry was
already leaving. He was completely out of sight finally. I heard Louis blow off
some air.
"Strange bloke." He spoke, his eyes were small then he shrugged. "I've seen
guys like that back home. Not my kind of people honestly."
"I'm sorry about him. He, uh, lives near me. My dad made me ride with him this
morning so I'm just sorry about that."
Louis didn't seem so bothered. He was a pretty solid actor so I couldn't tell
if he was really bothered by him or not. "If not tonight since you got plans it
seems." I nodded, blushing. "Tomorrow then? Let's start off the first week of
school with some fun."
My mouth curved into a bright smile and my shoulders inched up. "Maybe, um,
where are we going?"
"Oh you'll see. It's a surprise. But I wanna go somewhere so we can talk,
officially. No more small talk. It's a game I made up called "Who is Eva
Davies?" I was so glad he said that. It means he actually wants to get to know
me.
"OK, sure, I'd love to."
He got closer to me until he cheek was touching mine. He spoke near my ear.
"Pick you up at 7:30 then?"
I shivered; I thought he was going to move his lips closer. But he was only
waiting for me to respond. "Yeah um, see you tomorrow night."
He pulled away and smiled so big his eyes looked like slits. "Well tomorrow is
drama so you have to put up with me once again."
"I know." I clucked my tongue, humoring him. I rolled my eyes playfully. "Can't
wait. It's less boring without you."
He did his mock serious face. "Uh everything is less boring with me. See ya
then, gotta go."
I smirked, picking up my bag, swinging it around my shoulder. I said my
farewells but he kept looking at me. I looked down; I know my pale skin was
getting flush.
I forced my body to turn around and start walking back to my locker. One of us
had to walk away here. If he was staring at me walking away then I feel like I
just won the lottery. This is so great. I don't think anything can ruin this
mood now.
I calmly walked to my locker, opening it with the usual routine, stuffing what
I needed and didn't inside my bag and out. I shut the door and moved to go to
my next class when I jumped.
"Harry."
The scowl on his face could be seen from a distance. He looked angry. And I
don't know, kind of violent. I tried to veer around him but he grabbed my arm,
pulling me to him.
His eyes looked shifty. I didn't know what he was going to say or do. Shit. He
had me cornered. Asshole. He let me go and backed me against my locker, his
face hovering over me.
"Not him." He said before turning around, walking down the hallway; leaving me
in utter confusion.
***** Chapter 14 *****
School's out. Mission accomplished. I managed to avoid Harry in the last of my
five class periods. I nearly felt sick to my stomach because of that double
lunch I had. This coming from someone obsessed with food. Speaking of, I saw
Harry sit again with the plastic clan. I saw him looking at me when he thought
I wasn't looking but Debbie and the rest of the whores tried to sway his
attention solely on them. Ugh, they make my skin crawl. They're not even that
great looking. You know how someone could be ugly because they talk or ever
exist? Well, that's those girls in a nutshell. I don't see the point in sitting
next to any of those inhuman creatures. Of course he'd be sucked in as I
predicted since I'm not sure if anyone else has tried to talk to him. Least I
don't think.
Nevertheless I made good with avoiding Harry for the class part. I shuffled out
of the last class I had with him, which was my last class of the day and
quickly went to my locker before he could catch up. When I saw him speaking
with the teacher I bolted as fast as I could to the salvation of my locker,
then possibly out to see if De's mom is waiting for her early. If Harry caught
me then it'd be a little hard to resist frankly. He still thought I was going
to ride with him back home. Hell no. That was never cleared with my Dad anyway.
I only agreed to the morning. He just would have to accept it and move on. I
wonder if anybody ever told him no and he actually accepted it.
I skipped over to a different bus stop toward the back of the campus. Maybe
Harry will be thrown off by the change and just drive off without me. The front
of the school was too obvious. I so badly wanted to wait there, if only to see
Louis again so he can ask me for a ride and linger there like he did yesterday.
Louis is so fucking hot it's just a problem for me.
I sat on the bench, it was cold as I expected. Hardly anyone comes out to the
back since it's normally an area were the misfits and emos smoke their lungs
out and compare whose sketches, I didn't mind. I just stay out of it. I'm
intense but I could never be into the whacked out stuff that some of those
emotionally disturbed individuals are into.
I took an art class once and almost started listening to the latest Coldplay
and contemplated slitting my wrists. I don't joke about that stuff ever and I
feel uncomfortable around those people as is. It's another clique with rules
that I yawn at. Music was where it's at and now drama. Drama with Louis, yummy.
Shit, save it for tomorrow. Putting out is an option, but uh, I think Louis
actually does like me. He could have done something so easily earlier but
that's not what happened. He could have seduced me, and boy if he had I
wouldn't have been able to fight it. Why fight a face like his? But De was
right about guys. Patience is key, plus our hormones sometimes become our worst
enemy and we have to be careful. I don't want to be too careful but I also
wanna have fun.
Someone like Harry would always want to have fun. I don't think he's ever been
in love before. De would clock me over the head if I was thinking about Harry
this much. Why can't I stop?
My mouth twitched in a smile. I looked around and realized De's mom nor De
herself didn't know where I was waiting. Totally forget to tell them. I grabbed
my phone and brought up both their contacts.
"I'm here. Finally found you." I looked up, what the fuck?
Harry's Lexis pulled up and he looked at me with those fuck me eyes through the
crack of the window.
"Harry, I'm not riding with you." I said simply. He rolled down the window all
the way looking at me.
He was staring at me, biting his lip. I tried to focus back on my phone.
"Remember what I said about manners? Come on now. I don't do this for everyone
you know?"
"How tragic. Still no." I waved him off and went back to my phone. My god he
was being a nuisance.
I looked up and heard him getting out of his car. That triggered me to move
away. I had no idea what the hell he was going to do.
I backed up into the bench, shaking slightly. "W-what are you doing?"
He went to grab my bag easily, slung it on his back and turned to me. "Don't be
like this. I said I would come for you and you're coming with me. End of
story."
"Forcing me to do things in your favor? Wow, what an appealing quality." I
stood up, my tiny frame being dwarfed by his but I still stood my ground. I'm
not gonna take shit lying down.
I gritted my teeth and slapped him hard across his face. It felt good hitting
him. He let my bag fall to the ground, his face still turned in the place where
I slapped him. His eyes were closed; I was scared of him now. He swallowed. His
Adam's apple was bobbing up and down with a clench of his jaw.
"Wrong move babe. Wrong fucking move." He didn't turn when he grabbed my waist
up and smashed his mouth against mine, fighting to open my mouth but I wouldn't
let him. He backed my body up against his car and trapped me there with a
strong hold I couldn't push through.
"Play. Fucking. Nice." He breathed against my lips, pressing them against mine
through my closed kiss. I wouldn't let him win. He can't.
I struggled against him, pounding on his chest when he tried again to pry open
my lips. I could sense his tongue wanting to slither to meet mine.
I pulled back and slapped his cheek again, harder than the first one.
"Harry stop it." I began to fight against him as he continued to have this
weird hold over my body.
My arms were pushing against his chest hard. My finger nails about to claw and
dig into him when he caught me, He kissed me hard, his lips covering mine,
oblivious to anyone around us.
"Harry, stop kissing mmm-me."
He silenced me again, kissing every corner of my lips that he didn't before. I
was actually allowing this. I didn't pull away, though it was the right thing
to do.
He pulled away finally, taking my hands and holding them above my head,
probably to keep me from going anyway. But he didn't tighten his hands on me,
it was a loose grip."Get inside and I will stop."
Somehow I didn't believe him. Never believe a guy when it comes to making out.
He was pathetic. I couldn't believe he was doing this to me. He had some nerve
doing this; well I allowed a lot of it, all these advances on me just so I
would ride in his stupid car.
"You have no idea how much I hate you." I said gruffly, my voice was still
breathy from all that action. I tried to hide it but the Harry smirk came out
when he finally let go.
"Now you don't mean that, love. Now get in please. We're having an early
dinner, my mum just texted me. She said it's easier to get you on the way." I
was about to say something when his two fingers lightly touched my swollen
lips.
"And before you start arguing with me again your Dad OK'd it." He kissed my
cheek while I rolled my eyes. There is no escaping this guy. "Let's go
beautiful."
The way Harry said beautiful it was like he was reading a story; he enunciated
every syllable like he meant it. Yeah right. This guy is charmer, even Lucky
the Leprechaun thinks he should tone it down.
I realized there was no point in fighting him since he had my Dad on his side
now. Anne seemed nice and I didn't want to make a bad impression even though
her son is a punk who seems to get his way a lot. Then again, is that what it
really is? Does Harry have any flaws? Why did I want to know so badly? Why did
I care to know him?
Maybe it was the way he kissed me. Maybe it was that last kiss; the one where I
was the one who closed my eyes this time.
I wouldn't let him know that.
"Sounds swell." I couldn't hide how I really felt about this arrangement and I
didn't support it one bit.
Why can't Harry Styles just leave me alone already? Since when did my Dad talk
to anyone other than me or my Uncle Paul? I didn't understand any of it and
Harry just went along with all this like it was normal. Weirdo. I bit my
tongue, scooped up my bag pack Harry dropped but he tugged at it first.
"Let me." He smiled, showing his dimples. I closed my eyes and let him take it.
All he did was put it in the back, probably to give me room in the front. Wait
what? Harry is actually doing something nice for me? I won't believe it.
I went to open the door but Harry opened it for me. He smiled wider this time.
This wasn't anything. He's just my chauffeur. I sighed and climbed in the front
seat while he shut door and walked to the other side. He left the motor on and
it was playing some weird White Strips song. Harry has odd taste in music.
He backed out of the school and glanced at me from the side. Please don't say
anything, please, if there is a god in heaven, don't let him talk to me.
"You know, you're quite sexy when you're over-thinking in silence, love." His
voice got even lower, it sounded like a radio voice. "Don't worry, I don't
bite."
That's what I'm afraid of. He bites me I'll bite back harder; and enjoy it.
Fuck.
***** Chapter 15 *****
Harry drove me in front of my house, stopping the car gently. I knew my dad
wasn't home as he comes back during the late evening. I didn't want Harry to
follow me inside so I unbuckled, my hair was sliding in my face. I felt it
moved to the side by his hand. I sighed.
"So, what are your plans tomorrow night?"
I said nothing and drew in a shaky breath. I shrugged.
"Don't go out with him."
I lunged forward and grabbed his crotch in my hand and gave it a squeeze, rage
in my stare. "Fuck off Styles."
I saw his face pinch together. I was putting him in massive pain, good. "I just
mean, don't he doesn't care about you."
I squeezed harder, gritting my teeth as I looked in his eyes. "Shut up. You
don't know him."
"Neither do you love. He's a prick; he wants his score just like the rest of us
baddies."
I grit my teeth even harder if possible, trying not to lose it. "He's different
OK? I like him, I have for years. And he likes me. He's a nice guy. That means
something to me."
"Nice guys still have dicks babe. Not all of them can kiss you like this " He
pried my grip off his cock and captured my lips in a steamy kiss, making me
moan in his mouth.
I bit his lip and he groaned. Shit, it's like he wants me to beat him up. "He
can. You fucker." I bit his tongue and he pulled back finally in his seat. He
chuckled strangely, like he was thinking of something incredulous.
I was breathing so hard you'd think I just ran the 5K. "He can't. I saw the way
he looked at you. He's a child. Not a fucking man."
"He likes me. For 3 years he has. Now he's talking to me finally." Why was I
defending myself?
"Don't you find that a bit off? If someone likes you they don't wait to have
something they want, they fucking take it. He doesn't know anything. He's a
gimp."
"So are you Harry. So are you." I looked at him rolling my eyes. "He's just
different. He doesn't sit with the popular crowd trying to be something he's
not. He's nice, he's smart " He cut me off, looking at me with hard, serious
eyes.
"He wants to fuck your sweet cunt and then drop you. He's a pussy bloke; and
girls always fall for it. Good girls, then they fuck over good guys, like m-its
true OK? Just take my word for it. Don't go out with him Eva. He's no good."
His voice was so serious but I still think he's pulling all of it out of his
ass.
I gulped, "I don't care what you think. All you've been with me is physical
since yesterday. You're no different than every prick " I stopped when he got
close to my face.
"You're the first girl I've ever done this with. I'm not full of shit." His
eyes did that shift dance again. "You don't know my story. Stop thinking you
do."
He said that in my dream. Was I dreaming again? "Probably. But I know Louis.
You're so wrong about him."
"I'm not." He said simply, staring ahead. It was so quiet in the car you could
hear him swallowing.
"You should go." He said as he unlocked the door and leaned back in his car
sighing heavily.
I looked at him, my eyes were strangely sad. I pulled the lever of the door
with my eyes still on him. He was acting distant, uneasy now. I don't have time
to deal with his trauma bull shit. I grabbed my stuff and made my way out of
his car.
The window was open and I went to close it for him when I felt the chilly air.
"Leave it." I heard behind me. I did and shut the door gently.
I bent down, not even sure what I was doing and stared at him. I was really
fucking confused. I just wanted to say what I was really thinking. He was
right. I didn't know him. I opened my mouth but thought better of it.
I stood up and he drove off so fast making my hair blow in my face. What is up
with him?
Why do I get the feeling he's hiding something bad? Could it be what made him
so emotional last night? I don't know. I still don't know anything.
"Oh there you are sweetheart." Anne's voice chimed behind me. I turned around
and tried to change my expression to a more positive one.
Fake smile time. I've gotten good at those. Once I had to use it to get out of
detention for something the stick legs tried to blame me on.
I greeted her and she looked at me like she wanted to say more.
"I your father home yet?" She asked, her brow rising.
I shook my head; I wondered what she was getting at. It's weird, I never had my
mom in my life but I feel empathic towards Anne. Almost like I can sense what
she's feeling. Maybe it's a female intuition.
"Oh, where's Harry? I thought he picked you up."
I looked down. I didn't want to lie but I couldn't tell the complete truth
either. So I gave the safe answer. "I don't know."
Anne's face fell. It felt she knew something I didn't. She looked at me,
putting on a smile in a flash.
"Well, I don't want you to be by yourself in that big house. Would you like to
come over? We still have things in boxes and are currently living out of
suitcases but you're welcome to join us. My husband will be home and dinner
will be ready soon."
I looked into her eyes and it sort of scared me. I never had a feeling like
this before. My dad was my only savior but there were some things I couldn't
tell him because he was my dad. Anne made me feel comforted. Is this what it
feels like to be accepted? Now if only my real mother did that everything would
be perfect. But it never is.
I nodded sweetly and followed Anne up to her house. I feel like I was being
invited into another family's world and possibly more secrets.
===============================================================================
Harry's POV
I took off out of the squeaky clean suburban atmosphere and drove to the
nearest bar. It was around 6pm when I finally stopped at a random place. I had
to get away from Eva. I was already saying too much, revealing too much of
myself that she may ask more questions. Sure, my family came here for a change;
my mum had to get away for a while as well since it's just her and I; my step-
dad is alright, but a poor replacement. Getting away from my dad was hard
enough on her. I don't think I've ever seen her so scared but she had to do it.
Of course I went with her. She's my mum. I'd do anything for her.
She was the woman in my life. Until Elena happened. She used to be my
everything. I thought I was in love. I thought I could give her everything,
including myself. She was my first real girlfriend. There have been girls who
caught my eye but she was it for me. I believe, I think I know, now, I was just
too much in love with her. I didn't even know that was possible. She knew I was
leaving and never said goodbye. I forgave her for what she did with my best
mate. All the pain she caused me when I saw her true colors. She was seeing him
behind my back and I knew it was done and over. But she didn't care. I knew
that now. The look in her eyes when I found out the truth was so defining.
Women can be just as evil as guys, trust me on that.
She was my love, I'd die for her. That's how strong I thought she and I were.
Love is sacrifice and I had to learn it the hard way. Seeing my mum go through
what she went through with me dad, I vowed to never let anyone hurt the people
I care about. Makes me think about my past all over again.
My life back in Cheshire was all I knew. It was my truth. Nobody understood me
more then the people there.
Nobody understands me here. I feel so lost and it's already the second day. I
smoked my entire pack of fags and ran out of money to get more. I hated doing
that shit but I needed to relieve all this stress. At 16 I took on more than I
can handle.
I think that was why I reacted so strongly to Eva. Touched her, kissed her, and
been intimate with her every chance I had. She reminded me of the good in
people. She represented all things positive. I feel like in some small way she
understood me. Maybe she brought me back to that place where I was accepted. I
think so. I looked into her eyes several times to see how true she really was,
turns out she's just as scared as I am to be truly happy. Even when she hit me,
I took it, roughly. And she meant it too. She has a mean slap of a girl with a
closed heart. Maybe that's why I care so much. She and I are kindred in that
way.
My mum always told me in life you can't always be happy. How cliche is that
shit? I guess that doesn't stop being true. I realized where I was finally and
looked around at the near empty street.
I sat in my car outside some dodgy dive. It looked like a place people stumbled
into when they're lost. Seems like the perfect place for me.
Suddenly, I felt a vibration in my jeans. It was my phone. Checking the message
it was from my mum, calling me back. I wasn't ready yet. I need a break from
this new life. It was too brightly lit. I almost couldn't breathe.
Exasperated, I looked into my phone and browsed through the pictures. Some of
my really good mates were secured in there for times like this. I smirked at
some and continued to flip to the end of the album. I stopped when I ran across
Elena's picture. How did I still have this?
I glanced at the entrance of the bar then back on the picture. Why was she
still here? My thumb slid across to permanently delete it.
I wasn't ready for that too. Fuck, I wasn't ready for any of these changes. I
sighed, stuffing my phone in the pocket and parked the car near a meter.
I stared straight ahead in a daze before shaking myself out of it. I missed
her. As crazy as that sounds I miss Elena now. I miss England. I miss what I
know. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with cool oxygen. Sorta feels like
England, not quite.
I reached for my wallet, making sure my faux I.D. was in there. I sort of do
feel like a fake here. No one can ever know. I've been acting up a storm since
I got here.
Eva needs to stop trying to know me and I need to stop being around her so
much. If only they were easy for the both of us. All I know is I can't see her
get hurt.
***** Chapter 16 *****
Eva's POV
It's been 3 hours since I had last seen Harry and I hate to admit I was a bit
curious as to where he was. He acted so odd before he took off I didn't know
what to expect. Why was he so against me going out with Louis? I can understand
if Louis actually treated me like dog shit in front of him, but he didn't. What
was Harry's malfunction?
Nevertheless I was sitting in his house, more specifically on his couch while
Anne was preparing dinner. I had offered to help several times but she declined
saying I was a guest and she had it all handled. She even mentioned Harry helps
her sometimes with part of it. That guy is full of surprises. Sounds like a
model citizen to me. If they come in a package you wanna touch yourself to
secretly.
I stood up from the couch, stretching out with a small yawn. Maybe not too
small. I didn't realize how loud it was until Anne looked at me.
I blushed, covering my face. "Sorry." She waved me off and went back to the
stove. She said something else but I didn't hear it. "Pardon?"
"Oh, I said you can go up to Harry's room and lay down if you want to take a
nap for a bit. It should be another 45 minutes until everything is ready. I'll
come up to get you sweetie." She was stirring some unknown substance in a pot
while she started another part, looking at me in between.
Harry's room? Oh boy. Should I go exploring in Harry's room—wait she didn't say
that, she said nap. I didn't want to bother her with more yawning so I nodded,
taking my phone up with me. I walked up the stairs and tried to look for
Harry's room. I guess it would be the one with the closed door as most guys'
rooms are. It seems a bit foreign walking into a place where I wasn't
technically allowed in. I wonder what Harry would think if he caught me on his
bed.
I bet he wouldn't care. Then for some reason he would. I shrugged, opening the
door and peeked inside the room. Simple. Pretty neat, little boxes on the
ground near the bed, which was half unmade. You can actually walk in it. I was
surprised, wow. He keeps a neat workspace. My room is a little messier actually
compared to this. It smelled like his cologne and fresh laundry which I'm sure
Anne does for him.
I kicked off my flats and walked to the bed, trying not to disturb anything
Harry might be doing to his room. It looks like a college dorm on the first
day, plain, simple, kind of nice. A couple pictures were on the corner of the
nightstand. Harry wearing his soccer uniform when he was I'm going to guess
about 8 or 9 holding the ball up on his knee and smiling. I couldn't help but
smile too. He does have a unique smile. He gets it from him mom, she is
absolutely beautiful.
I heard rumors of my mother being this drop dead gorgeous woman when she was
married to my dad. But I have no pictures confirming that. Dad said I looked
like her; I sadly smiled and changed the subject. It's a sore one for both of
us. Harry is so lucky to have both his parents in his life. So fucking lucky.
I felt the corners of my eyes well up. No, this is not going to happen here. I
looked around the room. I noticed the window was slightly ajar and went to
check it out. My eyes bugged when I realized you could actually see my entire
bedroom from here. My curtains were drawn and you can fucking see everything I
own! What the fuck?
Now Harry has the ability, if he wants it, to spy on me ad nauseum. I shook,
unsure how to feel. Wow, so that means he saw me change this morning. Fucking
pervert. Wait a minute. What if I'm being crazy again? I had my curtains rolled
down. There was no one, his peering eyes couldn't have checked out my goods. No
fucking way.
I stretched out and got more comfortable in his bed. Weird, it's his bed, his
smell; all of him was on here all night. It is a comfortable bed, that's all
I'm going to admit too. Soft sheets, no hard guy pillows, actual fluffy pillows
you can push down and make that "ahh" noise.
I was just going to nap, not sleep. That would be rude even though I felt like
this was rude to Harry. Seriously, what's he going to think when he sees me in
his bed? Guess we'll find out.
My phone vibrated.
A text message.
It was Louis! Yes! Now my mood just shot up.
From: Louis
Message: Thinking about you…can't wait for tomorrow night. :)
My fingers couldn't fly fast enough over the keyword.
From: Eva
Message: Same, laying in bed, thinking about tomorrow. And you too! :P :)
I figured I'd play with his head a little bit. De always said play it cool with
guys. Make them laugh and you're golden. I am naturally the best there is at
the funny stuff so I didn't really need the advice.
My phone buzzed instantly.
From: Louis
Message: Don't tease me love. You say naughty things it inspires me to do the
same. :)
From: Eva
Message: What? I am lying in bed silly. A bit tired. I am thinking of you too.
;)
From: Louis
Message: Oh Lol Sorry then. Well, I jus wanna say have a good night. I'll see
you in class tomorrow. I'll always save that seat for you.
I smiled, laughing to myself, burying myself in bed even more. The covers were
over my body. I thought that was the end of the texting spree until he said
this:
Continue what we started today… :)
I gulped, reading that. I laughed abruptly. Holy shit. Um, he did? Awesome. I
mean, holy shit that's fucking hot. I was so wrapped up in the thought of it I
didn't reply back.
I grabbed my phone up, licking my lips, looking at the screen.
From: Eva
Message: Holding you to that. ;)
From: Louis
Message: No teasing Louis now! What did I JUST say? Lol :P
How could he possibly think I was teasing him? This guy…
From: Eva
Message: Goodnight Louis :|
A second later I sent him a winky face.
I finally got a normal message from him and found it hard to wipe off my grin.
He was just being funny. What Harry said about him isn't true. I know it's not.
Louis is not that guy. He's like me, only jokes about sex but that isn't all he
thinks about. Is it? Boys in high school, well they aren't thinking about
school, mostly how to get out. Louis was so preoccupied with acting and plays I
didn't think he had the time to sleep with the entire student body.
Harry…Ugh I can't stand him. But I'm in his bed. I checked the clock; it was
almost 6:30pm. For the greater good of my sanity, I hope he stays out for a
really long time because my eyelids are getting heavy…
===============================================================================
Harry's POV
I came home a little after 7pm; my mum was in the kitchen getting ready to
serve it all from the looks of it. I felt bad. I knew I shouldn't have done
what I did but I did. Can't take it back. I semi-reeked of alcohol and I didn't
know how to hide it other than drinking copious amounts of water. I popped some
gum in my mouth to kill some of the stench and calm my nerves.
My opening the door made her turn around.
She came over and gave me a tight hug. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah." I bit my lip, smiling. I didn't want her to ask too many questions or
worry so I just went with the flow.
"Good, well, your father is running late, so is Eva's dad." Oh yeah, nearly
forgot about dinner with them. "So ok, I need you to be polite to her since
she's resting in your room."
What? "She is? What? Like now she is?"
My mum looked at me funny. "Be nice Harry. I know we've been trying to deal
with things in this new life and I know it's been difficult for you. Eva's a
good girl. She means well. Let her rest. You should have seen how tired she was
earlier. Let's make her and her father feel at home?" I could tell mum was
really trying to win the Davies' over. But why? Why so much effort was put into
this whole image I'll never know. Maybe it's her need to not feel so lonely
sometimes.
I get this from my mom; we both want to be accepted by people. Maybe it's a
little bit insecure but I feel like a lot of the world can relate. I understood
what she was saying.
I nodded, kissed her on the cheek and dropped my bag in the closet, along with
my jacket and shoes. Not used to brand new carpets and some of the boxes had
dirt on the sides. I avoided making my mum do any excessive cleaning.
I helped her set the table and saw her hands shaking. Immediately I rushed over
to take the glasses from her.
"Thank you baby." She breathed. She's thinking about it again. God damn it. I
was there was some way I could erase those awful memories from my childhood.
"Mum, be careful. Here, just let me finish this. You've worked already so
hard." I smiled gently, but it was still bittersweet. I felt like crying but I
wasn't going to be weak around her. If I'm weak it doesn't help her any. "Come
on." I whispered when I saw her begin to wash the dishes in the sink.
She turned and looked at me, the same look she gave when I asked her to talk to
me one day about Dad and the divorce. "Harry, I am fine. Everything is
practically done. Why don't you go wash up and see if Eva is awake. If she
isn't then let her sleep."
Her voice was breaking up. I could tell she wanted me to drop it, so I did; for
now. I wasn't going to let her do everything alone. Not when I'm here. I still
matter. Hopefully I still do. This divorce was hard on everyone. I could feel
my blood boiling but I wasn't going to lose it. Now way, she'd sooner break
down before I could have any control over it.
I'm done feeling like shit. I'm just going to listen to her and have that be
it. Make her happy and not complicate things with my avid curiosity.
"Alright, I'll be upstairs if you need me." I touched her shoulder before I
turned around and walked quietly up the stairs to my room.
I went to the bathroom first to wash up and try to mask the smell that seems to
be permeating off of my body. I don't normally stink when I drink, that's
usually when I smoke fags, but it's obvious I had a few or so. When I was
finished I went to my door. Knowing Eva was in my room, sleeping soundlessly in
my bed gave me chills. I told my cock not to react if I saw her again. Sucks it
sometimes it has a mind of its own.
Eva brought it out of me, the lust, the curiosity, the intrigue. I was getting
my sexual frustrations out from my break up with Elena onto her and it wasn't
fair. I didn't want to lead Eva on. She could be something I need. Maybe she
needs me too. We could help each other. In class when she thought I wasn't
looking, she'd take studious notes on basically everything our professors said.
She seemed so worried about getting good grades, the teacher would occasionally
call on her for the answers and she always gave long ones. It was almost like
she was giving a long book review. Most of the other girls rolled their eyes
but I found it sweet.
Her intelligence is so fucking sexy I can't stand it. The school would never
permit it but I thought about freaking on her a few more times if it was just
the two of us, in a locked classroom. Maybe they may let us in Sex Ed. That was
usually a fun class.
I opened the door slowly and quietly. Her eyes were closed, the sheet rising up
as her even breathing remained steady. The vision of her lying there so
innocent is scaring me. I'm not supposed to feel this way again. I'm not
supposed to open myself to anyone. That isn't the way this works.
After Elena I was done with it. I didn't believe in true love. I didn't believe
in feelings. I believed in fucking. I believe in hard kisses, not sweet ones. I
believe that love is for the movies. It doesn't exist outside the fantasy
world. Only in measly stories where there is always a happy ending. I looked at
Eva and cringed. I sighed as I moved closer. Maybe if I watched her she may
wake up easily.
I was halfway to my bed and saw her move. Uh oh. Her pouty lips bunched
together as she spoke, I saw movement down the sheets and couldn't tear my eyes
from it.
I panicked and went to the door to close and lock it, still not taking my eyes
off what she was doing. The bottom of the sheets moved rapidly.
"Fuck, Harry…" She whispered into my pillow.
Holy shit. She was having, a sex dream, about me? I gulped, my eyes enlarging
from their sockets. All I could do was stare at her motions. Fuck, my cock was
growing. The heat of the room was making it hard to breath.
My jaw clenched tightly. I know I swallowed roughly. She tasted so sweet the
first time. Another taste will be sweeter. My heart sped up as I approached the
bed, kneeling down. My eyes glazed over.
I heard the sound of a zipper being pulled down, she was moaning, that's it.
Fuck it.
I pulled the blankets over slowly and watched her start to slide her fingers
inside herself. Oh god. My jeans were hurting me. I needed to do something, my
mom could hear us, mainly her. She gasped when she pushed them deeper and I
knew she was gonna yelp so I caught her loud moan in my mouth, the vibrations
of her kiss under control by me. God, her fucking soft lips. I cupped her jaw,
deepening the kiss as my tongue slid inside dancing in a rhythm with hers. She
caught me, saying my name again into the kiss . The head of my cock now pushing
against the barrier of my jeans.
She stopped touching herself and wrapped her arms around my neck. I enjoyed how
she relaxed against me as her fingers were dripping of her taste came near my
mouth. I suddenly pulled away to taste them again and nearly rolled my eyes in
the back of my head at the sweetness. She tasted so good I just wanted more of
her. I could feel her nipples harden through her shirt and I knew I was in
utter pain.
My cock wanted to be freed so badly now. It was paining me but I kept kissing
her, trailing small butterfly kisses down her neck. My fingers found what I was
looking for, I instantly pumped her inside her hard. I wanted her to reach her
everything and I wasn't gonna stop. The determination on my face was searing. I
kissed her with an animalistic ferocity that should have woken her up if it
didn't already. I couldn't tell, her eyes were still closed. I grit my teeth,
smashing her lips with mine as she pushed her pussy deeper on my fingers. Oh
fuck.
Her walls closed around my fingers and I knew she was close. Yes, come on.
"Baby, come…" I couldn't resist saying in her ear, kissing her temple, sweat
forming as she bucked her hips, shaking on my fingers as she came violently. I
ducked under and she squirted in my mouth when I came close to her pussy,
taking everything she had for me. Tasted like sweet heaven.
I couldn't fucking take it. I reached down and fiddled with my zipper of my
pants. Finally letting my cock out of my trousers, breathing as it literally
breathed too. It was so hard it stuck to my like a magnet to my stomach. This
is what she did to me.
I looked at myself, unsure of what to do. I felt I was in a haze. Then the bed
moved.
"Harry?" She's awake. How long had she been awake? She rose, her eyes met mine.
"Harry?" She looked down at her body and gasped, covering her mouth. "What's
going on?"
And she's back. "Uh, you were being loud in your sleep. I had to…help you out."
I smirked. Her eyes were still tired but she was wide awake when she saw my
erection still sticking straight up, inching near my belly button.
"Sorry…" It was her fault. She did it to me. It wasn't another girl in the room
that can get me hard so fast. "I'll leave." I went to get up. She stopped me.
"I can try. You helped me. Maybe I can…return the favor." A seductive voice
replaced the sarcastic one now. Her eyes flicked from mine to my hard on. Her
eyes looked different. Enticing. More inviting. I looked at her lips, Jesus
they were made for doing this if I'm being honest. But I didn't want her making
me feel good. It may lead to, I don't know what. I just didn't want it.
"You don't have to, I can take care of it." What the hell was I saying? The
other part of me is thinking I hope she isn't a biter, holy shit I hope not.
She moved close to my face, her cum taste still on my lips. She brushed her
mouth against mine; I took her face and she took mine firmly, our lips melted
together so gently I felt it inside my heart.
"Let me try Harry." Her voice was radio low and fucking sexy. Good god. OK, do
it.
She pulled me over and I laid in my bed, the sheets were soaked with her juices
but I didn't care. It only made me hotter. Harder.
She pulled my briefs and jeans even further down to get a better angle. She
kept looking at me in between. She looked half scared out of her mind but she
wanted to do this. I laid back but opened my eyes to look at her snaking down
my body, her hand touching down my chest until she was where I wanted her. She
took hold of my cock in her delicate hands.
I closed my eyes tightly when she took me all in her mouth, wasting no time to
deep me in her throat. Damn it. I'm going to pop soon. I could definitely
already feel it building up. She began pumping up as her head bounced off and
on my cock growing faster the more she pumped. Whoa. When she took me in I
could feel her tongue circle around my tip, swirling around, licking all the
pre-cum.
I heard her gag on my girth. Holy shit. She took me in the back of her throat,
Jesus. My tip felt the back of her throat and it squeezed my cock in another
gag from her. I told her I was gonna cum and she prepared, her lips sucking me
as I closed my eyes tighter than ever, groaning as I came, my hips bucking just
like hers did and she took all of me in her pretty mouth. God fucking damn it.
She swallowed me.
Oh my god. I thought I was near screaming her name. I know I said it. I feel
dizzy. I laid with my head back as I felt my cock get soft again.
She was still down there and I knew it would be awkward but I found myself
saying, grabbing her hand as I did so. I wasn't going to let her go anywhere
now.
"Lay next to me, love."
***** Chapter 17 *****
Eva's POV
I lay peacefully in the crook of Harry's neck for a few long moments. I didn't
know what to say to him. I figured he wanted silence after all that so I kept
quiet. A million thoughts flew around in my mind; I didn't know where to start.
I felt like I was coming down from a tall building overcoming a fear. Was Harry
my fear? Maybe that's why I dreamed of him.
"I could hear you thinking. Stop being so obvious." I hugged his body tightly;
maybe I wanted to distract him by touching him again.
"I wasn't. I was just enjoying how quiet it is now."
My head laid on his warm chest and I could feel the grumble from his deep
laugh. "Yeah, you were quite loud."
I raised my head, looking at him. "Yeah well you were like an anime cartoon. I
was worried you were gonna pull karate moves on me any second."
Harry grinned, but didn't laugh at me. I thought he would, knowing his
sophomoric persona. "Shut it now."
I stuck my tongue at him but he caught it inside his mouth, closing his lips
around mine. I hate how he kisses me so…like it was the last kiss. I felt at
ease, I didn't want to but I did.
Why do I get the feeling he's just lonely? He probably is. Hell, I get lonely
all the fucking time. Don't need to vocalize it.
I pulled away when I heard something. Sounded like footsteps, voices. Holy
shit. "We gotta go. Hurry!" I hoped off of him and fixed my clothes, shoes and
sex hair. I didn't have sex but you know what I'm getting at.
"Calm down now. It's locked. Mum trusts me." I looked at him, my smile about to
break as I narrowed my stare. "OK, well more or less she does. I locked it
because I wanted to give you privacy."
"With you inside? Yeah, that's giving me privacy." I whispered loudly. I turned
on his nightstand lap and finally breathed.
Harry held my shoulders. "Calm down, they're not coming in here. Trust me."
"Harry are you in there?" Anne's voice called out, even Harry looked nervous.
He caught himself quickly, thinking I missed it.
"Yeah mum, hold on a moment." Harry looked to me to open it. I mouthed "why
me?"
He came to my ear. "Do it, its better that way. She won't suspect anything." I
almost closed my eyes there.
I shook out of it, rolled my eyes and went to unlock the door, pulling it open.
Harry's parents and my Dad were all looking at us strangely. Anne stepped
forward to look closer on Harry. I bit my lip.
"You alright baby? You look flushed." She looked behind him. Gesturing to
something. "That's why, the window was closed. Eva, I'm sorry," She said,
walking over to open the lever of the window to the top. "This room is usually
so stuffy, I tell Harry to open it at the night." She walked over to join us
again, feeling Harry's forehead with the back of her hand.
I smiled, hiding in my giggle. If she really knew the reason…uh let's pray to
the high heavens she doesn't. I'll be super happy. Everyone began to pile out
and we started to walk when Harry grabbed me and pushed me behind the door. I
was about to speak when his lips pressed against mine harshly. I pulled away,
more pushed him away but it was like he was trying to claim territory.
"Two things: don't mention a word of this to anyone and don't go out with that
wanker." He said simply, he kissed the tip of my nose and walked out of the
room ahead of me.
What the fuck just happened? Why can't he stop with the horse shit? I can't
date whoever I want. "You're a jackass." I called when he stopped walking mid-
stair.
He looked up at me and winked, licking his lips. He grinned and walked down the
stairs saying nothing.
What the? Since when has someone ever gotten away with so much? Clearly he's
too in love with himself to get serious about anything. What a fucking child.
I went to the bathroom to wash up. I know I made a mess but it was only on his
bed thank god. I think I saw Harry cover the evidence on the sheets by pulling
the blankets over it before they walked in. I owe him one for that. I don't
think I can live with my Dad grounding me, taking my phone when I have a date
with the guy I've been wait 3 years to see. I couldn't handle it. I didn't
wanna fuck things up with Louis and I was determined to go on this date with
him and completely forget about Harry Styles and what we did just in his bed
now.
I mean, it's like this, Harry is a player, it's obvious, guys like him always
say all the right things but it never goes anywhere. They have no real
personality. Louis has it all. His mom gets super strict sometimes but he takes
it in stride. I love his attitude toward life. He has such a carefree, fun vibe
I just want to be around him all the time. Louis can get serious too, I've seen
it.
And now I'm finally going on a date with him. I'm a little anxious to because I
truly don't know where we were going or doing. I hope I can make him laugh,
that's all I care about. If he has fun around me, maybe he'll want more. Who
knows? Just like Louis says, relax and have a blast. Every time I think of him
and my body heats up, almost instantly.
Harry only makes me shiver. I can't decide if it's a good or bad thing. Maybe
it feels good because he knows how to please me. Of course he does, he's had
loads of practice. I still am curious what number on the Harry's Rolodex of
girls I lay on. It's kind of sad. I almost feel sorry for him. Why can't he be
more like Louis?
I heard my dad suddenly call me just as I finished up in the bathroom, shutting
the doors behind. I forced myself to relax. Louis' words are golden.
I can't wait to see him tomorrow. I'm blushing thinking about what he has
planned.
===============================================================================
Harry's POV
We finally sat down to have dinner. The Styles and the Davies together at last
and it felt like a circus of who's competing for the best small talk questions.
I think my step-dad, Robin wins this one. Man that guy can talk and talk about
god knows what. I'm thinking its work since he uses a lot of words like
"correlating" and "corporate management."
I planted myself near Eva just because. It's fun to bug her when she's not
expecting it. She'd glance at me from the corner of her eye and scoff whenever
I would answer. Of course it wasn't loud enough for anyone to hear, she gave
that to me as a gift. How sweet? Just like her. She is a sweet girl; somewhere
in there. When my mom asked her a question, she took her time in answering,
with her dad, it was more embarrassing. The parents on the other end were
having their own little conversation really. We were just tag a longs.
I vaguely overheard her Dad said he worked for some magazine publishing company
and he's been pretty wrapped up in the business, leaving Eva alone at school
some days, she asks her friends mother for rides.
Well, not anymore. Now that both parents are agreeing to this and I know Eva
doesn't want to piss anyone off, I am the one who takes her and picks her up
from school. My cock is sure excited to hear that news. My frustration might be
struggling with fully enjoying it. She can make you want to pin her against the
wall and shut her up by any means. And I do mean any means. It's exciting and
dangerous. It's like nothing I've gone through with a girl. Not that I consider
her the girl in my life. She's a pain in the ass and gives me every excuse to
fight with her.
That doesn't mean I hate her though. You can't hate someone you don't know or
without good reason. I think hate is probably the strongest word out there. I
don't think too much about her to be honest. She seems like a typical high
school student, probably insecure underneath all the bravado. But there's
something about her I couldn't understand. Maybe it was those big eyes, the
same icy blue ones Elena had. It's happening again. But it's not Elena, its
Eva. Two very different girls, nearly polar opposites. Eva had no filter for
her thoughts. She said whatever she felt like. Elena was very secretive and
would avoid talking about what's bothering her. I blamed myself all those years
I could have pushed harder. Not let things go so easily.
Then I would have been happy. We would have been happy. I loved her so much I
actually cried when I lost her. If Eva knew how sensitive I really am, she'd
think I was full of shit. Just like she thinks of me now. Just look at her, she
eats like a bird. So clean, so mannerly, wipes her mouth like a princess. Her
long dark hair flowing down her shoulders, touching over her pert breasts.
Her hand came down beside the folded napkin near my plate. Instead of touching
it I reached for the glass of water bring it to my lips, taking a sip. Those
goes the corner of her eye again. Why does she need to be so aware of
everything I do? Kind of creepy.
After a bit of silent munching it looked like everyone was nearly done with
their meal. I was surprised to see Eva actually eat the entire portion on her
plate. Could be she didn't wanna insult mum by not eating it, or she must
really like it. But wow, I've never seen a girl eat like that. I didn't know
whither to hide in my laugh or let it out. Damn, this girl had a healthy
appetite. Elena wouldn't like to eat much of anything when we would go out. She
ate but she wouldn't finish all of the food in front of her. It usually meant
something was bothering her. She had this annoying habit of picking at her food
too. I guess that was a couple of her vices. Come to think of it, there were
more. Stuff I didn't realize was bad until I found out her secret.
I should really stop thinking about this. My step-dad was laughing at something
Eva's dad was saying and I only caught the end of it.
"You're staring, stop Harry." Eva whispered, turning her head, like she was
stretching.
She kicked my feet lightly which made me look down. I did the same; no way was
I going to relent. She hit me back until I got her foot caught in mine. I felt
her flat come off and smiled. I was wearing my socks and began rubbing the side
of her feet under the table. I heard her scoff, trying to get away but I was
too quick for her. Soon she stopped struggling less and less and let me rub her
more gently.
"Harry?" I shook when mum called my attention. I slowed down and Eva's tiny
foot escaped my grasp.
Damn it. "Yeah?" I turned.
"We were talking about Eva staying over this weekend because her dad is going
on a trip those days." My mum looked at me with those eyes again.
I dared to look at Eva; she looked whiter than me at those words. Holy shit.
Just when I'm trying to avoid her, this happens.
I rubbed my forehead, why was everyone looking at me? What the fuck? I came
here to get away from my problems not find new ones.
"Um, Anne, I think it'll be OK. If I knew my dad was going out of town for the
weekend, I was going to ask my friend to stay over her place." Thank you Eva! I
need some time away from you. I hope you understand. It's enough I see you
everywhere at school.
Everyone cleared their throat. Holy shit. The awkward reactions were just…I
wanted to just hide my face. Eva covered hers too.
I felt eyes on me, I looked up and Eva's dad cleared his throat thoroughly. He
looked to his daughter first. "Honey, it's OK. I think it'll be fine to be
closer to home when I'm away. Do some fun things. Maybe go see a movie or
something. Harry, you don't know the area well, would you mind it if Eva shows
you around So Cal?"
My parents looked at me with amused faces. Oh god, this is like a test. I feel
like I'm being put on the spot. I heard Eva gulp and understood but still found
myself saying:
"No I don't mind. That would be great Mr. Davies. I can drive her." I offered.
Did I really have to dress it up even more?
I felt my hand being grabbed, not now. Jesus. Maybe she's just squeezing my
hand to shut up. I'll go with that one. The way she did it was...Stop doing
this to me. Stop comforting me. Stop trying to understand me. Stop touching me
when you have no idea how hard it is for me to touch you back. I squeezed her
hand tightly. No. Stop. Let go Harry. Stop doing this to yourself. Elena, you
haven't moved on yet.
God damn it. I haven't. If I'm convincing myself to ignore this, of course I
haven't. I may never. Eva doesn't deserve this.
"Dad…maybe it's OK. I mean De won't mind and—" Her dad cut her off. I just held
her hand more securely.
"I think it would be best for you to be near the house. Delilah lives in Santa
Monica, it's too far from here. I would feel safer if you stayed here. Is that
clear Eva?" His eyes pinned his daughter for the second time that night. She
sighed and it hurt me too. I looked at her body slouching in a question mark
uncomfortably.
"Right, Dad. I'm sorry. Thank you, Anne. I appreciate it very much." She put on
a fake smile instantly.
I am a master at those and can spot one clear as day. I felt bad for her. I
felt bad for me. The both of us. I found her hands coming out of mine and back
into her lap. Yeah, I got it.
I didn't want this too.
But I wanted her. I didn't, no I couldn't. She's too good for me. How was I
going to survive 2 days around her, let alone school and everything else that
brings us together?
I'm just going to pretend she doesn't exist. Yeah, that's it.
***** Chapter 18 *****
Eva's POV
I am staying over Harry Styles' house for the weekend.
Let me take a full forever to process that. Actually I don't have forever. I
just have tonight. I know my dad is going to force me to ride with him tomorrow
purely for the convenience. I don't know anymore. Spending a whole weekend with
him? Showing him around L.A.? I'm not even sure what to do with that. I need to
work on detoxing him from my brain first.
I finally made it to my room, getting ready for bed. My window was open but I
was too lazy to close it. If Harry was watching me it'd be a free show right
now. I started taking off all my clothes and slipped into my loose, soft PJs
slowly. I enjoyed being by myself. I missed it. I miss being around my friend.
I miss my dad taking me to school every day and picking me up.
I used to do these things. I've gotten so used to them before now I wanted them
again. I am so tired right now. Tired of thinking so much and just done with
everything. I can't escape Harry Styles for the life of me. I wonder what he
was thinking with all this. He hadn't said a word about anything and I can't
read his eyes or mind. He's a damn good actor.
I walked to the bathroom and began brushing my teeth. I need to just ignore
this. I'm sure he might be thinking the same thing. Who am I really?
Nothing…I'm just a girl. I am no one's girl. He's just a guy, a typical one at
that.
I have Louis in my life now. And the best part is he wants to be in it too.
Harry wants nothing to do with me. I need to stop giving him all these clues.
It's confusing him and makes him think he's winning. But what? There's no prize
here. I'm not claimed by anyone.
This is just high school drama heightened up, that's all. Like that show The
Secret Life of the American Teenager, only least I know no one is pregnant.
Debbie may have a few chances before she breaks that mold. No doubt Harry will
work her too, after he's done with me. He will get tired of me, probably.
My phone beeped. I checked it and there was a picture of Louis smiling with his
eyes closed in bed. How sweet. Underneath it says, "Dreaming of you, love. x"
I smiled, my heart warmed to the gesture. He made sense to me. Louis can always
make me smile no matter what I'm feeling.
I couldn't take it anymore. I rang up his number and waited for an answer. Two
rings…finally an answer.
"Louis?" I smiled into the phone.
"Hello, you ok love?" His voice sounded worried.
"Yeah, everything is ok. Thanks for the picture. I had to hear your voice. I'm
sorry if I woke you up."
"You didn't babe. It's good to hear to you too. I know we saw each other today
but I like hearing from you. You can call me any time."
I grabbed my heart, I knew it was racing and it felt good. I sat down on my
bed. Yes, this is my bed. My life. My heart. My feelings. And I hope, my Louis.
I tried not to cry but I felt a lump in my voice. "Louis, thank you. After the
day I had, you've been so amazing."
He laughed, god it was so wonderful to relax to that. I leaned back in my bed
and listened to his beautiful and husky voice.
"No you're amazing. You know, it's a bit weird, we haven't even gone out but I
feel so close to you already. I think it might have been all those times I kept
an eye on you."
I giggled and turned on my stomach, feeling a bit flirty all of a sudden, extra
girlie if you will. "You're nice to look at too. You're the only guy I watched
all those years."
He sighed. "I wish I was there now, holding you, being near you. I really can't
wait until tomorrow. I wish it was right now. I fancy you a lot Eva."
I heard the frustration in his voice and mirrored it. If only there was a way
to make that happen. I was feeling so free now; Louis is like the only guy to
get me feeling this way.
"Louis…"I breathed, my hands reached down to rub up and down my body. "Umm, are
you there?"
He laughed. "What are you doing there? Continuing what we were doing in drama?
Why start without me? That was inappropriate. And please wait for me before you
start anything."
It's like he knew. If Louis Tomlinson could be in my bed at this very moment,
consider me dying happy. I don't care what happens to me. That moment will be
pure happiness. This is my Buffy and Angel moment. Actually it's more a Stefan
and Elena. Hmm, I guess I am his Elena, if he wants to be my Stefan, god, I
hope he does.
I'd give anything to touch him now. To find myself falling deeper and deeper
into the shimmering blue pool of his eyes, sinking myself where I belong.
"I want you. I wish it was now too. Heh, maybe we should save it for tomorrow."
I heard him pretend to scoff and I smiled. "Oh come on, it just got good now.
Naughty thoughts babe. You think them, say them out loud it encourages Louis."
"Sorry. Tomorrow." I tried to compose myself. "Save me that seat."
"Ugh, ok, I was hoping by me sounding so innocent and understanding you would
give into me. I was so close. Dag nabbit!"
I laughed, sitting up in my bed. My eyes caught Harry through his window
turning on his light, changing out of his clothes. He lifted his head and
caught me staring. I turned back around.
"I'll see you tomorrow Louis. Goodnight."
"Sweet dreams Eva." He made a kiss noise in the phone, laughed and cleared his
throat. "Goodnight love. I mean it."
"Goodnight you." I held the phone back and ended the line. I smiled into the
phone; Louis was the person to bring a positive feeling instantly. I wanted to
hold onto this for as long as I could.
I looked up and saw Harry, shirtless just wearing pants, picking up his phone
checking it intently. I could see it from here. That determinate look came
back. I turned my attention away and fell back onto my pillow, wow, I haven't
blushed so much in my life. Louis...what I would do to that boy.
I glanced behind me, a piece of me wishes Harry was a part of it. Maybe in some
odd way. But it's not worth such a second thought.
He doesn't think of me that way. He never will. I'm sure he has many other
things on his mind than being with me.
===============================================================================
Harry's POV
I just got off the phone with my best mate Mark back in Holmes Chapel and it
just made me feel even more home sick. Why was I doing this to myself? Why
can't I be happy here?
What was I doing here? I think it just hit me that I actually live in
California. My mum was happy here, I tried to hide how I really felt before she
went to bed.
She asked me point blank, if I like it here. I didn't know how to answer the
question so I said what she wanted to hear. She was so thrilled to be anywhere
but England. Anywhere but my dad and those fights about money or whatever else
my mum was "doing wrong."
My Dad was too controlling for the entire family. It was his way or no way. I
resented him for forcing mum to hold two full time jobs while trying to raise
me and deal with me growing up. It got hostile only toward the end. He never
was physical but he was verbal, sometimes that's worse when bruises heal faster
than emotional cuts.
Anybody I know dealing with that stuff always turn out a mangled product of
their environment. Am I anything like my dad? I'd say no, I am not. That is a
strong no too. I couldn't do those things to someone I cared about and live
with myself after. I'm not built that way. Mum brought me up to respect
everyone and their boundaries.
I was a tough kid growing up but I didn't provoke any fights. I wasn't popular
but at the same time I wasn't a loner. I managed to get along more or less with
kids at my secondary school. John Adams is a different story. It's so shallow.
The girls I sit with are the "leaders" supposedly. I barely pay attention to
the hierarchy, I just want to fit in. I just want to matter. I want to forget
about my life back home.
All the screaming and the verbose fighting. Endless worrying about bills and
will dad insult mom again and again for not being on her game? I can't think of
it any longer.
I walked over to my window, opening it further, letting the cool breeze wash
over my worry. I didn't want to be consumed with this guilt anymore. It
happened. People pick up and move on, don't they? Aren't I supposed to be
grateful for all she's done for me? Instead I'm getting mad about everything.
Why? My head feels like mush. Deep breath Harry, deep fucking breath. It feels
weird breathing in oxygen when all I want to breath is a fag. My elbows leaned
on the edge and all I could think about is what it would feel like to fly. Just
fly far away from everything. Be completely alone and anonymous. Few understand
what you truly go through until you've been through the same situation.
Eva wouldn't understand; she couldn't possibly. She thinks of me as a prick and
maybe that's a good thing. I can't let her examine what's going on in my head
when I don't ever know myself.
But I do have to control my urges around her. Elena can't have this much
control over my actions. I have to learn to not be so frustrated over our
breakup. Eva didn't need that. Now that we're going to be spending a lot of
time together I need to keep my hands to myself. Resist the need to run my
hands through her beautiful dark hair, touching those full cheeks and kissing
those plump, pink lips. Try not to look in those eyes of hers. I see Elena when
it should be Eva. But it should be neither. No more distractions.
I can't think of her this way. It isn't right.
I looked straight ahead and noticed her lights being switched on. I saw Eva sit
up in bed and watched her closely, backing away into the shadows of the room. I
didn't want her to see me and get scared. She pulled her long hair around her
neck and rock back and forth on the edge of the bed. What on Earth was she
thinking about? She looked distressed.
I gotta stop watching her. This isn't helping anyone; it just makes me care
about her even more. I can't get too wrapped in that.
She came closer to her window; I could make out the paleness in her cheeks. She
went to close it halfway and stopped. She looked at my window, her eyes
piercing a particular spot. Her eyes looked half awake. I wondered if she was
sleepwalking.
"Harry." She whispered.
What? My mouth opened but I couldn't say it. She said my name again, leaning
her head against the glass of the window, closing her eyes.
"I'm scared." She added. I swallowed hard.
I ducked under and climbed into bed, throwing the covers over my shivering
body. Shutting my eyes, unable to hide the clear, salty drops of emotional
truth.
"So am I."
***** Chapter 19 *****
Eva's POV
I woke up to my dad yelling into the phone downstairs. I wondered what got him
so mad this early. He never was this loud, least I never heard him so angry. He
was the peacemaker.
After I got ready for the day, showered, all the jazz I found him barely able
to sit down, his face was red from shouting. I decided to make myself breakfast
and avoid any backlash from this. It had nothing to do with me and I didn't
want to make him angry at me.
I silently did what I could and just made a light breakfast when my dad carried
the heated phone altercation outside. I didn't want to hear it but I did. I
turned on the radio to morning Top40 to drown out the clutter.
I took the food over to the TV and sat down while I ate. I flipped on the TV,
checking the weather but barely paid any attention. I forced myself to eat bits
and pieces of my bacon and eggs. I burned it a little and cringed when my teeth
crunched on the bacon strips. I was terrible at this. Dad was perfection at
cooking. He'd always tell me, "Evie, marry a man who can cook for you because I
will not be here forever. I want you to be taken care of." I know dad, I know.
Getting married is so far removed from my head right now. I just wanna survive
senior year without asshole clogging it up. Maybe it's just wishful thinking
but hey, a girl can dream.
It hurt me when my dad was agitated. I couldn't look at him as he paced back
and forth.
I focused back on finishing my breakfast. I stood up and went to go clean the
kitchen up. I left my dad some remaining of what I made on a plate and covered
it.
I gulped down my OJ, fixing my denim jacket and dusted off any crumbs from my
shirt. I knew I had two options, get out or have my dad explain why he was
being so brash. I opted for the less traumatizing option and just left a short
note for him. It was like he didn't know I was around. He was so into the
yelling match, I could have been wearing an S&M bondage outfit and he still
wouldn't have noticed me.
But I got it. The last thing I needed personally is more stress, especially in
the morning. I jogged up to my room, grabbing my favorite charm bracelet
necklace and tucked it in my long sleeve. I pulled my hair over my shoulders. I
closed one eye, looking in the mirror. The number one enemy is this daft
invention. Terrible.
I sighed and walked downstairs to find my dad still on the phone, pissed off.
OK, time to just play it safe and bolt. I grabbed up my bag, sunglasses and
house keys.
I walked outside and stopped in my tracks when I saw Harry leaning against the
side of his car. He seemed all ready to go like he'd been waiting there for a
while. I truly didn't care to be around him right now but I knew my dad would
make trouble if I put up a fight. I walked stiffly to him and stopped before he
looked up from his phone.
"Morning." He greeted, smiling slightly, putting his phone away in his back
pocket.
"Good morning Harry." I said quickly, not intending to.
"You alright then?"
"I'm fine. Um, let's go." I moved to the door he was leaning on and he moved,
trying to look at me.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Can we get going?" I avoided his eyes on purpose.
He sighed, prying off his body, which smelled amazing where I stood, and jogged
around the corner to the driver's seat, getting in.
I opened the door, threw my bag in and folded my arms. For some reason, I was
thinking about my mom. I wish I knew why she left me. I wish I had a real
family. I wish I could talk about all this with someone I trusted.
I buckled and leaned against the car window as Harry started the engine.
I felt my hand being held and picked my head up.
"What's wrong Eva?"
"I said nothing." I pulled out of his hold but he pulled me back, making my
body sit up straight. "Harry stop."
"No. Tell me what's wrong?"
I bit my lip, still not looking at him. "It's nothing. D-drive us to school."
I once again tried to pull away but he pulled harder. "Did someone hurt you?"
His voice barely above a whisper.
He gripped me tighter. "You're hurting me. Let go." He loosened but still had a
grip on me, keeping me attached to him.
I sighed. "I don't want to talk about it. Just drive me to school or I'll
walk."
"Fine." He let me go all the way and pulled out of the neighborhood, driving
away silently.
He cleared his throat when the car stopped at a stop light.
"I'm scared Eva."
That made me look at him. "What?"
"We're going to have to control…this. I can't be so intense around you anymore.
We need to forget what happened between us."
I was shocked he brought it up so bluntly. "I want to forget too."
"Right then. It's forgotten. Let's start over. Think we can?" He asked me, it
sounded like he was unsure himself.
"Yeah, we can." Can we? I can try. I'll try my hardest to push what we did away
like it was nothing, which it was. Louis can help. I nearly forgot about
tonight. Shit.
"Good. I'm glad."
Something about how he said that sounded so off. Why was I feeling worse about
it? So we really did have fun on that day. He's right, it means nothing.
The stop light changed and Harry zoomed toward the campus. I wanted to crawl
into a hole and die. Why did he have to say that? Shit, why do I care so much?
Isn't this what I wanted? He's going to forget and so will I.
I am free.
He can't say anything about Louis if he meant this. If he didn't care about me
that way then I can be with the one who actually wants me. The one who asked me
out and told me he likes me.
Not a coward like Harry.
"Trust me; I am a lot gladder than you." I grumbled. He heard it. I wiped my
eyes before anything fell.
Harry turned up the volume on the radio. Punk music. Figures. That's who he
really is. A fucking punk. I rolled my eyes and leaned against the window.
Thank god one side of my eyes were hidden so a single tear can trickle down
freely.
===============================================================================
Harry's POV
I had to say it. I'm a mess. I didn't want her to think I wanted more. The more
I touched her the more I wanted her. It was the right thing to do. If I just
said it, then it's out there and I can't take it back.
She was being quiet and I knew why. I didn't say anything else for the
remainder of the ride. She had her sunglasses on so I couldn't see her eyes.
Smart. I can't look directly in her eyes right now. I hated myself for hurting
her. I had to. I wasn't right for her.
I hit the wheel but she didn't flinch. I lost her. She wasn't mine to start.
I feel like I used her. What the fuck? What has Elena done to me? I didn't want
Eva to be a rebound when this was so fresh in my mind.
I couldn't focus on the road suddenly and swerved down an alleyway. Shit. Eva
finally looked at me.
What the fuck was happening? This decision should have been so easy.
I put the car in park and buried my head over the wheel, the emotions flowing
like a waterfall.
"Harry, look at me." She touched my back. She touched me. I sunk my face on my
hands, wiping at my eyes.
"Baby, look at me." She said louder. No, don't call me that.
I'm not yours. I can't be. I won't be. You don't belong to me. Some guy is
going to make you so happy, just wait. It's not me.
I'm not ready damn it. Get it together Harry. Fucking get your shit together.
You're acting like a pussy. All because of Elena. Eva doesn't know. And she
shouldn't. It's not her issue. She's innocent in all this.
"I can't. I said we were going to forget it, so I am."
"Why are you so upset then? Isn't this what we want?" She raised her voice
higher this time.
"Yes."
Silence.
"Fuck. No it's not. It's not." I pried my head up, letting her look at me with
wide eyes. I couldn't lie to her. Not her.
She looked terrified. "Harry…don't do this. We fucking agreed. Stop doing
this."
"I know we agreed, but I don't trust myself around you." I said, the words
flying out of my mouth before I could stop them.
"You can't mean that." She said, calming her voice down. "Harry, be real. I've
known you for only three days."
"I know." You have no idea how silly that makes everything sound. How can
anyone feel this strongly in just three days? "I know you feel it too."
I looked at her, my eyes piercing, knowing hers. She locked my stare but broke
it.
"Feel what? I don't feel anything. This is just crazy." She rambled, her hands
touching her forehead.
"Yes, but it's also true. I need to control myself around you. I have to." I
was trying to convince myself this by saying it aloud. It wasn't working.
She looked around the car, as if she wanted to leave. I wasn't going to let her
get the chance. "Three days Harry."
"I fucking know this! I know it." I took a deep breath. "You don't need to
remind me when we met."
"Maybe you don't know how crazy you sound. Harry, cut the shit and drive us to
school."
I got closer to her face, unable to fight it any longer. Her breath hitched up
but I didn't care. My mouth was so close to hers.
"Harry…stop tempting me."
"Make me; you're the one enjoying it. I can't stop. I can't, love…"
She grabbed my face, palms over my heated cheeks. I took her face in my hands,
her soft, milky skin falling with my trembling hands. "Try harder."
"I can't…I don't want to." My voice was so soft I wasn't sure if any sound came
out. "You don't either."
Her eyes watered and I couldn't bare it. She hung her face down as tears
spilled down. She couldn't talk. I just held her. Neither of us was moving a
muscle.
She leaned against my chest in silence. I didn't know what was wrong but I
wanted to help her. I couldn't ignore this, even though I said otherwise.
She raised her head to meet mine. I look down at her looking at me. She looked
like a scared animal in the lost in the woods. The back of my hand brushed her
cheek. My knuckles feeling the wet tracks where her tears fell. She closed the
space between, giving me a strong, passionate kiss that caused me to close my
eyes tightly. I was drowning in the kiss, never wanting it to end.
***** Chapter 20 *****
Eva's POV
I sighed and walked to my locker hanging my head low in shame. I barely paid
attention in class and practically dragged my body to move out of the
classroom. The teacher asked me what was wrong and I dismissed it. She wouldn't
understand what I've been going through.
I have feelings for Harry Styles and I think he has them for me too. I like him
a lot god help me but I do. I can't resist him. I never reacted to a guy like I
did to him. He may be lonely but so am I. I saw myself in his eyes. I
understood it. I loved what I saw. But, he's a problem for me.
There's another problem: Louis. I like him too. A lot. I have for many years.
Feelings like that don't just go away automatically. I haven't had time to sort
out my thoughts on how I'm going to deal him now. I can't lie to him either, it
wasn't the right thing to do when he did nothing wrong.
I feel with Harry my feelings are stronger. I've only known him for three days
and it feels like years. There was so much revealed in his kiss it feels like a
confession of his heart every time his lips touched mine. He was my first kiss.
I never imagined it would feel so perfect, so right.
Two of my fingers raised to feel my lips. Every time Harry kissed me it burned.
I got burned and when it grew deeper, fire ignited the flame in us to push it
further. Faster. He moaned against my lips with so much pain, I wish I could
know what was behind it; why he was so raw with how he kissed me.
To be honest I don't know who I like more. Louis is a good guy. I was excited
about our date tonight and I was determined to have fun and forget all the
drama in the past few days.
I pulled my Math book from the top and a note fell below my foot suddenly. I
picked it up, examining it. I looked around the hallways. No one was eying
suspiciously me so I unfolded it and started to read it inside my locker.
Stay away from Harry or you'll regret it.
I balled up the paper in my hand, making a fist.
Huh? Since when am I being threatened at this school? And why are they bringing
Harry into this? I feel like there was a target on my back or something.
Whatever, it was probably some douche nozzle trying to scare me off. I decided
to ignore it and grab my note pad, trying to distract myself.
Two hands suddenly covered my eyes; I felt warm breathing from my neck to my
ear.
"Guess who, love?" I smiled, knowing who it was but I still played along.
"Hmm, Alex Pettyfer? Nicholas Hoult?"
Louis scoffed and turned me around. "I'm way betta looking than those wankers."
I checked him out from head to toe, smirking. "Prove it."
He raised his brows up and down. "I'm glad you asked." He backed me gently
against my locker, his eyes were staring me down. "You are so bloody gorgeous.
They could suspend me for even thinking these very thoughts right now. It'd be
worth it." He grinned cheekily, blue eyes shimmering over my cheeks.
I placed my hand on his shoulder when he came closer. We looked like we were in
a compromising position. I adjusted it. "I couldn't do that to you. I care too
much."
"Too much of a goodie goodie. Alright then, if it has to be behind closed doors
than we must." He rolled his eyes playfully.
I looked down, blushing and bit my lip. I don't know what came over me right
now but I went to his ear and whispered. "I'm not as good as you think." I
pulled back and smiled, seeing the look on his face.
"I hope that's a preview for future reference. My life just got made if it is."
He laughed, looked at the ground, bit his lip then slowly looked up. Oh my god,
I just died.
Holy shit, my pussy twitched. "Careful what you wish for."
He cupped my cheek. "Who needs wishes when I have you?" He leaned forward, the
back of his hand brushing my cheek, his eyes daring me to make a move.
But I wasn't going to. "Louis, behave yourself or I'll send you straight to the
nurse."
"Oh you wouldn't, love. You like me way too much." He winked and pursed his
pretty mouth.
I turned around, tucked hair out of my eyes and stared at my chemistry book. I
shut my locker and turned back around, looking to the floor and blushed again.
"Maybe…I couldn't hurt you like that."
He suddenly raised his arm above my head so he could be at eye level with me.
It was the sexiest thing he's ever done. "I truly can't wait for tonight."
Harry. What the fuck? Why was I seeing his face all of a sudden? Shit, go away.
I had doubts, who did I really want? I think I want…
"Yeah, um about that…"
He frowned. "What…?"
I thought of something, quick. "Well, I-I think well," He waited for me to
continue. The look on his face was breaking my heart. I still liked him. Fuck.
"What time did you wanna this?"
His face looked strange. I'd never seen Louis look sullen and brooding or even
super serious but his face was leaning on that side. Who knew Louis Tomlinson
had a serious, dark side to him?
"I wanted to come get you at 7:30pm, which was the plan. And I had a surprise
for you too."
Oh yeah, he did. Louis likes me and I like him. "Yeah you said that. Um, I know
it's a surprise but is it like a dress code thing?" I squinted, unsure.
He broke out in a goofy smile. "I had a surprise for you but we could always
keep things simple."
"How do you mean?"
He dragged his tongued across his bottom lip and bit it. Stop doing that. "My
place, you, me and a couple of swim suits, late at night, a bit of a party for
just the two of us? What do you think of that?" He leaned closer to me.
I had this overwhelming urge to close the gap between us. His mouth was so
close I could taste his lips on mine; those soft, delicious lips.
I gulped, looking at him with confident eyes. "Sounds perfect. I'd love to." I
grinned; it reached my eyes as I felt my twinkle come back.
Louis sat up straighter, his smile getting brighter by the second. But it faded
quickly. Something caught his eye when he looked to his left.
"Oi, hello there Harry." I didn't want to believe it. My stomach made a
gurgling noise.
3 lockers down behind mine a single locker slammed shut; I jumped when Harry's
face was revealed. How long had he been standing there? What the actual fuck?
"Yeah, hi." His eyes were doing that scary shifty thing. Mostly on me, he was
ignoring Louis standing there, looking awkward. Oh boy. Somebody kill me.
Louis was the first one to move finally and leaned next to my ear. "See ya
tonight."
With that he turned around, leaving Harry and I alone. My mouth was so stiff it
became hard to swallow. All I kept thinking of was this morning. How I felt
when Harry touched me. It all came flooding back to me.
"You're still going out with him? After what happened this morning?"
I grumbled something but I couldn't give a direct answer. I looked at him
through the corner of my eye. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't lie to him. I
liked Louis a lot. But I didn't plan on liking Harry also.
"You are?" It was more statement than a question. He sucked in his breath
sharply. "Fine."
I looked at him in panic, moving closer. He moved back. I tried to take his
hand but he brushed it away.
His green eyes were getting darker when he backed away from me. I bit my lip so
hard I thought I drew blood. "Harry…let me explain—"
"You already made your choice. Debbie was right about you." His voice held
venom in every syllable.
I gulped. I looked at him, my face getting red as my own anger seeped through
my veins. How dare he? "So now Debbie is your new "thing"? Well enjoy the
trash; don't forget to take it out when it's just playing with you."
Harry laughed sarcastically. "At least she knows who she wants." He looked
directly at me. "She's honest, I value that."
I blinked. This is absolutely ridiculous. How could he think that Debbie
Jacobs, the queen skank of John Adams High had good intentions?
"Keep thinking that Harry. Like her other conquests she'll hurt you…"
"More than you have right now?" He shook his head looking down as he looked
behind him. The plastics were in their little group, it looked like they
planned this. "I've gotta go."
I guess there was nothing left to say. I won't let him hurt me back. I stood my
ground. He was never mine. I never had a chance. I swallowed again and it hurt
so badly. He wasn't going to hear me out.
"Fine." My voice shook and I couldn't pick up my face to see his eyes. I wanted
to say something so badly, god, why can't I do it?
He looked at me for a long moment before turning on his heel and swinging his
bag on his shoulder. I caught a glimpse when he turned and I finally moved
forward; but it was too late. I watched him walk toward Debbie and pulled her
in his arms. She looked at me with a glare and smirked, waving her bony fingers
in my direction. The pain was building and bubbling up before I could stop it.
I was so hurt I closed my eyes. No crying. Keep it in Evie. I couldn't watch
this anymore. I turned around and ran to the girls' bathroom. Least I think it
was. I found an empty stall and collapsed on the ground, letting all my
emotions out of me.
I didn't know what was happening nor could I make sense of any of it. I knew
this would happen but why did it hurt so bad? Why do I feel like world is
caving in on me when I watched his back turn away from me? There was nothing
sadder.
Harry was never really mine. He never asked me out. He didn't talk to me. It
was all just fantasy. He was a long dream. A dream that felt so real.
Why couldn't he be mine? Why wasn't I enough? I was so wrapped up in the inane
line of questioning I didn't hear someone shuffle into the bathroom.
The door opened and De poked her head in. "Are you OK?"
I wiped my eyes and sat up. I didn't want to talk about this so I simplified
it. "They got him."
De's brown eyes sympathized. She didn't look shocked by this, maybe she knew
something I didn't. "I saw Harry just now, he looks sad and bored. Haha.
They're just dragging him along. I thought he was on our side. I really did. I
wonder how it's going to be with him next door to you."
I snorted a laugh at that. I didn't want to think about it.
"You think he's gonna actually go with her?" I think I felt my food come up my
throat. The vomit taste returned to the tip of my tongue.
"It's not my business. This school officially sucks for life. Jeez, I'm really
pathetic."
She shook her head and helped me up. I went to wash my hands and face.
"No, it's just high school shit. Hey, I heard Louis finally asked you out,
that's something right? This is what you always wanted." I wiped my hands and
breathed. She was right.
The corner of my mouth rose up. "Yeah, he did. I really like him a lot."
"Not like Harry right?" How did she know?
"What?"
"Come on man. He's the new guy. He's smoking hot. The entire female population
in this school wants to seduce him. He lives next to you. You can't stop
talking about him; and you're really upset he's signed over to the dark side."
The truth is weird when it's presented to you brutally. Damn it De for being so
real.
"But he doesn't want me. He didn't even give me a chance to explain. I guess he
doesn't care. Maybe he belongs with those morons. It's better this way." I said
it but I didn't believe it.
I just wanted to not feel so upset about this. De might possibly question for
details. Now that she knows but I really don't want to confess what we did
together.
"Look at you. You sure about that babe?"
I looked at her uncertain but still said, "Yes, everything is as it should be."
But why didn't I believe that?
===============================================================================
Harry's POV
I'm not going to be the bad guy here. I hate lying and liars more than
anything. Eva hurt me and I couldn't control what my head said in that moment.
I waited for her to protest but she hadn't. She apparently didn't fight for me.
For us. The beginning of us that is. So I didn't dwell on it anymore. It's over
as far as I'm convinced.
The classes we had together didn't pose a challenge for the rest of the day.
She and I had made sure to sit far away and out of site from each other as
possible. Some of the seats were alphabetical in a couple classes, our
surnames, thank god didn't link up. I didn't once glance up at her beautiful
face. I couldn't tell if she felt sad or relieved.
She wasn't mine to look at anyway; I didn't see the point. A couple of the guys
from Debbie's camp in the last class period were asking what my plans were and
I calmly told them they were wide open. I guess these jock blokes were OK.
Something about the protocol irked me though.
It's weird, my friends back home never planned things out we just did them. It
was like I had a schedule and needed to follow everyone around in this town.
I just needed a distraction. Since Eva was practically going to be everywhere I
turn during my stay here I have to pretend she doesn't exist, for real this
time. I was so upset with her I can't even look at her anymore without my hands
bunching in fists. I eased a little when Debbie and her friends called me over
during lunch. She'd touch my arm a lot when she wanted me to look at her.
Eva's face kept popping up. Even though I wasn't looking her, my mind still
held onto her eyes. She had mesmerizing eyes; you could see them from across
the room so prominently. They were fucking hypnotizing. I forced myself not to
succumb to their charms.
I sat down next to Debbie and a few of her friends while she would occasionally
touch me and turn my chin when I wasn't looking directly at her. Apparently
everything she said was so important; as mostly teen girls think. I looked at
the other guys sitting at the table giving me that "just let that bitch do her
thing" look.
My eyes were caught up in the corner of the interior lunch area. I didn't want
to but I couldn't help myself as I watched Eva walk to her table when Debbie
looked into her purse for something. OK, just look, only a few seconds. No harm
done.
Eva and her friend Delilah sat in the same place talking to each other from far
away. I glanced at her in the corner of my eye but my face stayed stationary. I
had to. I didn't know what it was about her but I didn't want to completely say
goodbye. She means more than that. Even if she's going out with that pussy.
He's not good enough for her.
She's a passionate girl and she needs someone who will treat her right, make
her cum the way she needs it. I sighed and turned to Debbie. She was talking
about something to do with the Halloween dance and what everyone was going to
do. I half listened to the entire speech. I admit, I admire girls with a
backbone and it looks like Debbie has more than Eva. Even though she was
brutally honest in general, more than half of the things she was saying about
Eva were complete bull shit. I get the feeling that maybe she was trying to
impress me.
I can see why the footballers and the entire athletic student body wanted to
shag her. Including me. I liked how she looked. She's a little on the thin side
but she just takes care of herself and doesn't eat things that are bad for her.
She's thinner than Posh Spice but she is fit.
Unlike Eva who was a different kind of beauty. Hers is natural, no frills, no
nonsense, unprocessed hair, hardly any makeup but can still turn heads. No
wonder Debbie talked about her so much. They really wanted her to join their
group of friends. Debbie's friends all look alike and by that I mean all are
fucking fit. Picture five Jessica Albas, all of them tanned and gorgeous,
perfect skin, nails and hair.
Maybe Eva didn't care what people thought of her. I don't know if I can say the
same since I was the opposite. I wanted people to like me and I always dreamed
of lots of people giving me attention from all corners of the spectrum. That
sounds shallow but it's what I've always wanted. It's hard standing out from
the crowd and in an American high school it's damn near rough as fuck.
Eva did and said whatever she wanted and that unnerved Debbie to no end. I
found that sexy actually. Not giving a shit. They both have qualities I go for
in a girl. But Eva lost her chance. Debbie was honest from the start. She was
interested in me from the get go. Eva…I really thought she liked me a lot.
I found myself still looking in her direction. I don't know why. Maybe she
distracted me. Maybe that's what I needed. Maybe Eva was just a dream. A prism
fantasy. Someone I can look at but can't have. That wanker with the fucked up
beady eyes really manipulated her big time. If you put him next to me, girls
are going to go bloke who actually looks like a man, not a girlie man.
I have a lot more to offer than Louis, trust me on that. Even his name sounded
like a fucking tosser. Whatever, I'm done with it.
I'm over her. I have to be. My eyes still followed her as she stood up with her
friend to throw away her trash. She didn't once look at me. Maybe I should take
the hint and control myself more. Not give her any of my attention. I had
friends now. I had acceptance. I had a girl. I had people around me.
This is it. This is my life. Eva Davies didn't matter anymore.
Instead of this drama, I focused on the rest of my classes and made sure to go
to my locker only when Eva wasn't at hers. When the coast was clear, I walked
over and I got what I needed. I turned around only to be met by Louis and Eva
talking and walking hand in hand through the front entrance of the school. I
told myself to ignore it and walk the other direction to get to my car. It was
safer. I didn't wanna battle anyone. I'd offered Debbie a ride but instead
she'd caught a carpool with her mates and told me to text her later.
I sighed and walked out through the quad area to where my car had been parked
and opened the front door. Before I got in I caught Louis looking at me as he
gave Eva a tight hug. His arms were all over her and he smirked, moving her
hair to the side, planting a small kiss on her neck. I squeezed my car keys so
hard I could feel it imprinted in my palm. When he gave a short wave to me I
nearly smashed my car window in a rage.
I couldn't believe this prick. I knew he was going to hurt her. I knew it was
fucked up. But she doesn't believe me. I watched her step inside his car and he
jogged to the other side, getting in. Eva wasn't looking when he visibly
flipped me the bird. When she picked up her head he swung his arm around her
seat and drove off.
I got inside my car and slammed the door so hard I thought I broke it off its
hinges. Fuck.
***** Chapter 21 *****
Eva's POV
Louis dropped Liam off at his house and I thought he was going to drive me back
home when he turned around in the opposite direction.
"Where are we going? I thought you were taking me home?"
Louis squinted, looking to the road than glancing at me quickly. "Change of
plans."
His hand came over my thigh as he drove up Santa Monica Blvd. I had an amused
look on my face. I had no idea where he was taking me but at the same time it
was kind of exciting.
Call me a retard but I liked stuff like this. As boring as my life was before
Harry Styles entered my life and fucked with it, I still had massive enthusiasm
for thrilling things. I looked at Louis trying to decipher what was going on in
his head. I came up blank. It seems like Louis is an unpredictable guy, a bit
spontaneous, which is was I like about him.
He pulled into an In-N-Out Burger and I stifled a giggle. This is my favorite
place to eat at. How did he know?
"You're precious Louis. Gosh, I haven't been here in forever." He pulled into
the drive-through line behind a bunch of shiny SUVs.
"This is all I eat. I thought you might like it too." He smiled, I had an urge
to kiss his cheek for doing this but I held back. I guess I was a bit nervous
still. Louis is painfully gorgeous, I keep forgetting until I look directly at
him. I don't want to be my lame self and scare him off.
I want to take my time with this, least this is the safe way to do it. I think
Louis wants the same, I don't think he'd rush anything. I've been waiting for
so long for him to say he likes me, now it's finally here. I have him, he's
here. I just couldn't believe it.
It's hitting me. Wow.
Tears were forming at the brim of my eyes. I hid them from him.
"Are you OK? You want to go somewhere else?" He asked, his voice trying to get
me to look at him.
I had to make sure all of my tears were tucked back before I turned around.
Whew, now it's safe.
"No, I don't. Everything is fine." Louis leaned closer to me. We were alone; I
shivered at what he might do.
His lips pressed against my cheek, lingering there for a moment. He was so
close I felt if I might turn my head and close the gap between us. My eyes
watched his movements and he just pulled away slowly, his eyes locked on me.
"You're with me finally. Relax babe. You're taken care of. I'll do my best to
keep you smiling. I am quite good at that."
I blushed hard, looking down. He picked my chin up, licking his lips. "And make
you turn that beautiful shade of red."
I smiled and sucked in my lip. He was also a pro at making me nervous. Fuck. I
need to compose myself, the way he looked at me, it wasn't the same way Harry
did. Why was I thinking about Harry again? What was so interesting about Harry
Styles when I have Louis right in front of me? I don't get it.
Louis was so wonderful. The way he looked at me now, I just wanted to curl up
in a ball and he'd hold me.
"You know how to do that easily." I said, the words flowing of me. I looked
into his eyes, he smiled cupping my cheek.
"Only around people I like a lot." A horn behind us beeped and Louis pulled
apart from me. He looked ahead in front of him and drove up closer; we were
almost at the front.
We ordered our food and Louis started to drive near PCH and I smelled the ocean
breeze tickling my nose once again. God I love this date already! As simple as
it was I didn't care. It was enough.
He drove to a place where families came for picnics and tourist sightings all
around. Anything near Santa Monica is heaven. He drove where some benches were.
It was still near the coast and that smell was just intoxicating my senses. I
was holding the tray of food but Louis took it, shushing me. I was told to sit
still and close my eyes. I was being stubborn but I did what he told me. I
heard rustling in the back seat.
I actually kept my eyes closed the entire time. I'm so proud of myself. I
started giggling when Louis began to take off my shoes and socks so I could
stand on the soft sand. When I stepped out I felt the sand sink me as I
struggled to stand up straight. Louis took my hand and helped my out of the
car.
"OK love, hold onto me. Keep those beautiful eyes closed." He whispered in my
ear.
"I am so gonna smack you if a sea urchin nips my feet."
He moved to my ear so close I thought I felt the tip of his tongue touching my
ear. "Never to both. Only the best for you."
A couple more steps and we stopped. "OK, now sit down right…there, yeah OK." I
felt something soft, like a beach towel blanket hit my bottom as I sat down
getting comfy.
My eyes were still closed damn it. This boy is driving me crazy.
He got close to my ear again, his breath tickling me. "Open them babe."
I opened them finally and my god, this was just gah! I looked at Louis and he
actually brought a wicker picnic basket. I grinned from ear to ear and hugged
him tightly, so tight I knocked him over.
He laughed and we rolled over sitting on our elbows, looking at each other.
"Thank you. You're so sweet." I said softly.
He cleared his throat. "Let's eat." That was the cue I needed as he brought out
the tray from inside the basket for us.
As we drove in our food I couldn't help but hide my face. I was a bit uneasy
eating in front of him. Maybe he wasn't used to someone who enjoys eating as
much as I do. I assumed he wasn't.
I saw he got me a strawberry milk shake and I took a long sip, moaning. I was
halfway done with my burger when he threw a French fry at me; it landed right
in my cleavage. I fished it out and caught him staring directly at my chest. I
pointed the long fry at him like it was a finger.
"Very funny jerk face."
Louis pouted; I rolled my eyes and threw a bunch of my fries on him. I stuffed
the last bit of my burger in my mouth. I noticed he had more fries than I did.
Oh no. I read his mind quickly.
"You wouldn't fucking dare."
"I may or may not. Or I would." He threw nearly all his fries on my head,
getting my hair all greasy.
After I got over the shock I looked at what I could dump over him and grabbed
the shake, taking off the top, holding it up like a weapon, my legs trying to
trap him.
"Say mercy." I knew it was a good one because his face turned stark white
underneath me.
My legs were now straddling him. Oh the power.
"Haha, you like me so much. How could you mess up this face?" He pouted once
again but that didn't stop me.
I turned the cup over, dumping the rest of the sticky contents over his face,
his hair getting drenched in the pink liquid. He looked at me shocked, unable
to speak.
"You actually did that." His jaw dropped. I couldn't tell if he was serious or
being funny.
It was so funny when he spoke because part of the sticky liquid came off his
lips and sputtered in the air. I moved away fast as he came toward me, wiping
at his face to see.
"Yes. I. Did." I said triumphantly, but my body moved when he came to grab me.
I was too quick for his hands and hid behind the car.
I took a few breaths and relaxed. I heard a noise and felt a cold, hard stream
of water hit my jeans roughly and turned around.
Louis held a super soaker in his hand. My god he planned all this. I had to get
away. He fired at me and got me wet every time he shot the trigger. Damn it.
He's too fast with that thing. It's like he went to super soaker school or
something.
When the gun was nearly out of water he took the jug off the end and faked a
move, I went the other way and he finally caught me in his arms. He held me
from the behind loosely. I turned my face, wondering what he was going to do
next. His lips began slowly moving toward mine; I didn't stop my motions as I
closed my eyes. I smelled my strawberry shake on his lips the closer I moved.
My breathing slowed, my bottom lips brushed his and suddenly, I felt my entire
head freeze from cold water. I barely saw anything when I wiped what I could
from the blurriness he caused.
I was so pissed I pushed him hard and he fell right on his butt on the blanket
laughing so hard he didn't see my face. I was pretending to be mad of course
but I hated to lose. I was so close to winning. I sat down and folded my arms,
hoping he'd look at me finally. His laughing slowed down as he sat up, I still
turned my back to him, not wanting to crack a smile or anything.
His arms snaked themselves around my waist and he pulled me to him, the same
position we were before.
He pulled that goofy face again. Jesus, I can't take it.
I gave in, laughing finally; his face was so serious I had to break my faux
anger. But he was actually being serious now. He looked at me in slow motion,
smiling and taking my cheek in his palm. My face was completely still. I raised
my eyebrow when his lips pressed a thin line. A tell he was serious.
Oh. My. God.
He looked at my lips then in my eyes, moving closer. "Can I kiss you Eva?" His
was voice barely above a whisper with his innocence dripping everywhere.
"Yes…" I breathed. His mouth moved closer and closer until I felt the softness
of his lips caress mine.
My toes shivered and curled simultaneously as we fell together on the blanket,
our lips never pulling away. He moved my damp hair from my face as he rolled
his body on top of me, careful not to put all his weight over me. His chest
touched mine making me feel his heart hammer erratic beats against mine. I
couldn't believe this was happening. I felt like I was having an out of body
experience or a dream coming true. He was my dream.
Time didn't matter. My own life didn't matter. Kissing Louis was everything I
hoped it would be and more. Who knew behind all those wise cracks, perverted
quips and booming theater voice lies a passionate lover begging to be set free.
I am proud to say I have. I wanted to keep going, but I felt cold when his lips
elevated to my forehead, kissing the corners, down to my temple, feeling his
warm breath covering the spots before his lips touched them.
He pulled back, his eyes closed, mine were slightly open and they focused when
his eyes finally opened. I reached up, kissing him gently when he smiled
against me. I pulled away, moving my nose against his. We lingered for a long
moment. His breathing making mine shallow. I took in a sharp breath.
"I waited so long to do that. Wow." His voice was full of raw passion that I
just wanted to bathe in it forever.
He moved over and leaned back on his elbow, looking at me. His hair was just as
wet as mine; I know I messed it up so I reached over, touching the ends with my
fingertips.
I moved some hair that fell in his face so I could see his gorgeous eyes. The
ones I longed to stare into since I first saw him.
What a wild memory that was. He looked at me with a familiar gaze and it
triggered again, just like it was yesterday.
I made my way through the brand spankin' new halls of John Adams High. It was
the first day of school and I didn't want to be late. I was so nervous I kept
staring at my schedule of classes like I had a tick. I didn't know anyone here
and I was a bit scared to ask for directions. Being a freshman is the pits. My
new backpack bunched up behind me tightly. I could feel the sharp spiral
notebooks weighing down hard on my back as I tried to focus.
I managed to find my locker, damn it; these administrative fuckers put my itty
bitty locker all way in the state of Arizona, just my luck. Everything so far
irritated me. I'm still not gonna ask for help though. I'm not a pussy. Yes,
girls can be those too. I was incredibly scared of making new friends here. I
have an OK personality but this school may not be into that. My middle school
was decent. I only wish the friends I had actually stayed in touch, like we
wrote in our yearbooks. Whatever, this is a new start, new school, new whatever
the fuck else. My Dad said this one was going to be a big step up.
I just want to survive it. Maybe have some fun. Try not to hate homework and
smelly teachers so much.
And I don't wanna be distracted by boys, they can mess with your head when
you're least expecting it. I've never had a boyfriend or my first kiss before
and I'm OK with that. And if it does happen, hopefully the first guy I kiss
falls head over heals in love with me in the weirdest of places. I fantasized
about guys being like that, just take me by surprise.
Oh well, I may not get kissed in this school, I may not even bag a date for
myself, who the hell knows? All I wanna know is where is the cafeteria and how
terrible is their food menu? I can only pray its Four Seasons treatment but
that would be wishful thinking. Then again, this is suburbia SoCal. But this
school doesn't look rich enough to make that happen.
I managed to open my locker up real easily. Thank god. No gum lodged in there
to mess with my day. We only had 5 minutes between each period so this vastly
helps.
I walked up to the quad and noticed four girls cheering, hugging, sitting all
together with their legs crossed. One of them looked right at me. Blond wavy
hair, long legs, squinted eyes but I could tell they were a light bluish color.
She wore a bright yellow flower dress and held pom-poms in her lap. She was
alright, a bit too skinny I guess. If I was a dude I wouldn't hit it. I might
break her bones and have to pay insurance or something. She waved at me and
gave a thin smile. I was a bit surprised. I didn't think I'd get welcomed on
the first day by anyone. Though that barely counted, it was still cool.
I sighed and scanned my schedule with dyslexic eyes. I have a mild case of that
so it's hard confessing something like that without people thinking you're a
dumbass. In school I have to work harder than most people because of my eyes.
I'm getting better with it but it's still creeps up on me sometimes. I'd like
to think I'd be a straight-A student if I didn't have it. Probably. Eh, who
gives? Point is, I'm not an asshole. That's all I care about.
My paper told me the choir held classes in the theater auditorium. Shit. Since
when did that happen? Oh well, I looked at the numbers that said PA 169, least
I think it was.
I walked around using the campus map and sighed in relief when I finally came
to it. It was like walking through the gates of heaven when I touched the
handle. I turned it open and walked inside one step at a time. Holy air-
conditioned Batman! It was goddamn freezing in this bitch son! I shivered while
I looked around for a teacher or someone to confirm I wasn't completely a
retard.
Nobody was here. I saw a spotlight in the center behind all the audience chairs
and frowned. Shit. I really didn't know where I was. Fuck, just save yourself
further annoyance and start over Evie.
"Hey, who are you? What are you doing here?"A deep British accent asked in a
rush behind me as I was turning to leave.
I turned around and attempted to back away but found myself staring and worst
of all, stammering. "Sorry, um, I'll go. Didn't mean to—I'm really sorry."
"Wait, hold on a moment." I heard and saw him come closer to me. He was wearing
a dark blue long sleeve shirt with matching color skinny jeans. "Can I help
you?"
I saw him from the corner of the room. His chocolate moose brown hair was swept
over his eyes like a bowl cut. He sported half black-rimmed glasses on his
nose. Nerd much? I'd laugh if I wasn't so embarrassed right now. How old was
this kid? He looked 6.
I found my voice when he stopped walking to me. I saw his features up close,
damn. I'd never seen blue eyes like that in my life. Was I dreaming now?
I scoffed internally. "I guess I'm a bit lost. Do you know where the choir
meets? Which classroom I-I mean?" I prayed he wasn't one of those kick them
while their down types.
To my surprise he smiled, his cheeks turning pink. Can boys do that? Wow, I
just witnessed something new firsthand. He licked his lips, looking down and
bit his lip looking up. Whoa.
I lost my footing for a second there and shook my head. "Sorry, what was that?"
He smiled. "I can help you find what you're looking for." Uh, what if I already
found it? Focus, no boys.
"Right," I cleared my throat. "I'm trying to look for where exactly Choir 102
meets, do you know?"
He laughed and came closer. I was a little scared, backing away as he did this
but he held up his hands. "Uh, can I borrow your schedule a second? I think I
know where they meet if I knew the name of your professor love."
Love? Holy shit I just got "loved" by a Brit. That accent sounds awfully
strong. Did he just step off the boat of that island? Lawd. Why in the Sam hell
didn't we have clones of this guy? Seriously why?
I said nothing as I handed him my paper and he checked the name. "Reyes, yeah,
she's in the band room. They changed it. Do you know where that is?"
I wanted to say yes but I felt bad for lying, even to him, someone I didn't
know. I shook my head, blushing.
He calmly showed me how to get there through the map I obtained from the main
office. I feel like I understood it better.
"Well, thank you."
He looked at me, waving me off.
"Hey come on, let's go now." Another boy with sandy blond hair cut almost
identical to the guy in front came from the same place and I was confused. He
smiled at me and waved. "Oh hello, let's go man."
The guy who showed me looked back at his friend and sighed. "Sorry alright."He
looked back at me. "Gotta go. Everything OK now?"
I didn't wanna bother him so I moved away slowly but he inched closer as I did.
Was he following me? "Um, yeah, thanks again..."
"I'm Louis by the way. And you?" He offered his hand, coming closer. I was
surprised at the open welcome.
I held his hand; it was warm, soft and friendly. I didn't want to let go. "I'm
Eva. OK well you've gotta go. Don't want to keep you if you're busy."I let go
as those words left me much to my chagrin.
I started to walk away but he caught up to me, walking beside me. "You sure
you're OK about the, um about the directions? I explained a lot. I just wanted
you to understand so you won't get lost."
Holy shit, this geek was rambling. Without the glasses he could be quite the
hottie. "I'm good. Your friend needs you."
He stopped following next to me and bit his lip, shoving his hands in his
pockets. "OK, well see ya around I guess."
I smiled. This was really making me laugh but I didn't want him to think I was
laughing at him. "Right. Bye Louis."
I turned around without another word and walked out of the big double doors. I
felt eyes on me and turned around. Louis was peeking at me.
OK, now I started to laugh. "What the—"
"Oh sorry, I just wanted to make sure you were going the right way, right then.
You are." He disappeared behind the door quickly.
My eyes followed the door as it closed with a loud click.
I shrugged, smiling to myself. Strange guy. But I liked it. I like weirdos.
This guy seemed totally random and I don't even know him.
I smiled, turning around again. Aha!
Louis acted like he was doing anything other than glance in my direction by
playing with his phone. I narrowed my eyes. I folded my arms across my chest.
"Good game?" I asked, playing along to his game.
Louis didn't look up from it, his thumb moved faster than the speed of light.
"The best. I can't stop playing it."
I rolled my eyes; if he's not even going to look at me then I'm leaving. "Good
luck with that."I turned around on my heel walking to the opposite direction.
I tried not to whip around but my instincts got the best of me when after a
couple of steps I turned around. Louis was suddenly in the corner of the
hallway, eyes "glued" to his phone.
"Good listening skills. You are going the right way." His eyes were off his
phone in a flash. He looked at me with a sly smirk. "My work here is done."
Then he turned to leave but not without looking in my direction again, a full
smile on his face. All I kept thinking for the rest of that day was holy shit.
I think I'm gonna like it here after all.
I pulled out of the memory and found him grinning at me, his face still clearly
flushed from what just happened between us.
"What were you thinking about love?" He whispered, his blue eyes sparkling as
the sun hit the right spot inside them.
I found his hand playing with mine. "The first time we met."
He gave a cheeky grin and laid on his back, looking at me. "The first time I
sounded like a daft prig in front of a fit girl? Nice…that was a funny memory.
Did you find the choir class?"
I smirked. "Yes, I think all the stalking you did, pretending to be on your
phone helped me tremendously. It was just the next building over." I stuck my
tongue out.
Louis blushed. "I did stumble over myself there. I should have asked you out
then."
He was so right, but it's in the past. "I forgive you. I knew eventually you
were gonna come around and do something. It took you 3 years though!"
He held his hands up in protest. "Hey, I know. I'm an idiot. Guys are just
dumb. A lot of them are scared of what they're feeling. But I knew since I saw
you it was clear. But I didn't know how you felt about me. So I don't know...I
wanted to be sure. I felt like now, senior year might be my last chance to
finally do something about it. I didn't want to lose that chance or you to
someone else. I'm glad I finally told you."
I laced my fingers with his and lay on his shoulder relaxing against his body.
I didn't say anything and bit my lip.
Everything about Louis is so perfect I can't make sense of it at all. What he
said about guys and their feelings is so true. But what Harry said was also
true. If he liked me so much then why didn't it happen sooner? Those familiar
harsh, brutally honest words came back to haunt me in this moment.
If someone likes you they don't wait to have something they want, they fucking
take it.
Harry's words circled around my head, clouding it with sudden worry. Louis'
reasons made sense but then Harry's words were so accurate I'm second guessing
everything.
Who is really telling the truth here? The man I am touching, relaxing next to
and or the painfully honest man who touched me to the point of excruciating
bliss?
"We should get going. The sun is setting and you're all wet babe." Louis' voice
woke me up. I reacted, nodding.
He helped me up and we cleaned everything then packed up and went back inside
the car. When I sat inside I was met with Louis' lips almost instantly. I
reacted but he pulled away.
He looked at me; his finger traced my cheek following my bottom pout. "Plenty
of time for that…"
Time, like what Harry said. You waited all this time to tell me you liked me.
It's true. Ugh, damn it Harry! Get the fuck out of my head.
Get out of my dreams too.
***** Chapter 22 *****
Harry's POV
I just finished text/talking with Debbie and she was called away. It's odd, the
conversation turned dirty at one point and I immediately changed the subject.
Eh, I guess I just wasn't in the mood. Even guys want a break from that stuff.
Yeah it's true. I was tired so I'll go with that.
I flipped through the channels on the couch as mum was preparing some food. She
didn't need my help since it was one of her simple recipes. I still looked at
her while she cooked just in case.
I thought about yesterday. I thought about this morning. I stood up and leaned
against the couch. I messed up my curls, moving them out of my eyes as they
tend to do. My mum had no idea what I was going through. I didn't want to make
her worry by dumping my woes onto her.
I told her I was going upstairs and try to busy myself with something other
than wasting time. I can't relax. I gotta keep going with this. When I start to
relax, I think of her eyes. I don't want to but I do. I was with Debbie now but
Eva seems to be everywhere I go. I just hope I don't dream of her. She already
has dreams about me, let's not complicate things further.
Elena needs to stop making me feel guilty. Oh yeah, she's still there. Haunting
me. Gnawing on my thoughts, ugh, I just can't take it. She's probably going to
be there for a long time. I never fully addressed any of their issues when we
broke up. Which is why I'm such a mess in general. Ugh, where are my fags at?
I had a few unsmoked ones stashed somewhere in a place of safe keeping. I
pulled a couple out and my lighter, jogging down the stairs.
"Getting some air mum." A bunch of fresh carbon monoxide-filled air.
I closed the door and went behind the space I was a few nights ago. I had my
beanie over my eyes this time to hide my face. As long as I puffed a good 10
feet away, mum won't come out with the lectures. The last thing everyone needs
is a talking to from their parents when there are more important things to fret
over.
Shit. Where's Eva? Wasn't she going out with that douche bag? Where the fuck
are they? More importantly what were they doing all this time? He looked like a
grade A prick. A slick bloke that plays with girls by saying all the things
they like. I've seen it. I've been that guy. Those guys don't exist anymore.
All that's left is take what we can and regret nothing.
I heard voices coming up the door. It wasn't from mine; it was Eva's door and
another voice joined in. Shit, I hid myself behind the other side, peaking out.
Ah, now there they are.
I watched them closely; confused as to why as I was doing this. I stubbed out
the fag on the tip of my trainers. What the fuck were they saying? I missed
like half of the conversation.
Like it was so bloody important anyway. He's probably feeding her lines she
wants to hear and she's eating it right out of his hand. Why do I care so much
about them? Ugh, I took another fag, lit it and puffed out a big cloud of smoke
that came into my eyes. I didn't want to see this and yet I was seeing it. It's
like I couldn't stop myself from getting involved in what she does, who she
does.
Why was she standing like that? She looked like she might tip over any second.
She was leaning her body weight on his as he held onto her shoulders. Her hair
was wet and she was carrying an extra large towel around her shoulders. Louis
pulled the towel around her body and I watched her move closer to him. Shit.
Don't look Harry. But I didn't listen to that voice. He was touching her, the
jackass. Giving a put on smile and she doesn't see through it. Girls are too
wrapped up into how they feel they really don't seem to see what's really going
on. He's acting, it's all an act.
Maybe I'm more honest about how guys do it, if I tell her she won't listen to a
word I say. I don't think anything is better than knowing the truth though.
When she knows she'll regret not being careful. I took another drag, peeking
over as he gave her a quick peck on her lips before leaving her there.
I didn't realize I was coming closer to the scene until I looked at where I
stood. I retreated backward. The bushes were rustling, I could barely see where
I was going and I lost my balance and fell down trying to hide myself behind
them. I got up with a groan, dusting myself off and looked over at Eva. She was
struggling to get the door open; it looked like she was leaning her forehead
against it. What the fuck? Was she giggling?
Humming now? Oh lord no. I moved closer and she was still struggling with
opening the front lock. Her dad's car wasn't there so the coast might be clear.
"Fuck me. Which key is it? Hmm, maybe I left it at Louis' place. Oh shit no."
She said rapidly. What the fuck was going on?
I made my way closer to her until she caught me looking at the corner of her
eye and jumped up.
"Harry, jeez you scared me." She went back to trying to open the door. How hard
can it be to open a fucking door?
It was pitch black and no one could see us. I was glad for that. I thought for
a minute going inside, avoiding this whole thing but I decided against it. What
was up with her? She looked strange.
I took a long puff of my fag, looking at her trying the same key about 5 times
in a row. "Problem?" I smirked.
She glanced behind, a glazed look in her eyes then she leaned against the door.
"Hmm, I need to go in. But I got it handled." She smiled and turned again
leaning her forehead once again on the door as she looked at her key ring.
There must be like 40 different keys on that chain as she jingled them all
loudly. I found it hard to hide in my laughter and let myself go. She looked at
me, bemused.
"You're gonna be here all night. Don't you know what key is yours?"
She shook her head; it looked like a 5-year-old shaking their head after you
asked if they did something bad. "Of course I know. Jeez, leave me alone
Styles. Don't you have a date with anorexia camp?" She folded her arms across
her chest.
Something was off. I smelled something. Ah shit. "Were you drinking tonight? I
didn't know they served alcohol at Chuck. E. Cheese."
She rolled her eyes, stumbling slightly leaning firmly against the door. I
moved forward, wiping the smirk off instantly. Was it for support? "Yeah right.
I'm not drunk if that's what you think."
"Heh, you kind of are. What the fuck? That asshole got you liquored up then
left you like this? I knew it." I wanted to laugh but she scoffed at me.
She gave me the stink eye. "You knew what? I wasn't overdoing it. We just had
some drinks at his place. I got a great buzz going."
She tried to stand up to prove something to me but wobbled in an attempt. "See?
I'm fine."
I sighed heavily, groaning. I moved her to the side and grabbed her keys. "Hey
asshole, give!"
I ignored her. "Which one of these opens the front door?" I held up the ring
right in her face.
She looked at it through crossed eyes, blinking several times. "Uh, it's the
uh, silver one. Yeah, oh my god that's the one. Gimmie." She reached above her
head, jumping up like a child.
I held it higher above her head, my fag in my other hand still. I'd forgotten
about it until she grabbed it, putting it in her mouth, smoking a long drag.
She blew the smoke in my eyes.
"Gimmie my keys jack off." She jumped again but fell over on me. I steadied her
up. She looked up at me and dropped the cigarette. "Look at what you made me
do?!" She whined.
"Haha, that's not the worst of it. You can barely stand. Seriously, how much
did you drink? The truth now?" I whispered, her skin popped goosebumps on her
cleavage.
The towel she wore, slipping down. I caught it and pulled it around her body.
Why did I care so much? Because it hurt. She hurt. She hurt me but seeing her
hurt just hurts more. I think that only made sense to me. She looked at me,
then at my lips.
"Not a lot. Least I don't think. We were talking and stuff happened." I
shuddered. What else happened? What did he do?
"OK, well, you need to sober up before your dad finds out." I grabbed her hand
and stood her body up. She made an attempt to straighten herself.
"Why are you doing this? I thought we were like over. I thought you weren't
talking to me like ever?"
"Don't worry about it." Truth is, I couldn't give an answer when her
intoxicated mind won't remember. I'm not even sure her sober mind can withstand
the truth.
"Follow me to mine, you can shower up there and I'll give you some water and
coffee." I whispered gently. I wanted her on my side; at least for now.
"Harry…" She breathed; I was worried when she started moving close to me. Shit.
Not this again. Not like this. "My head hurts a little. Shit. Where are my
keys? My dad's gonna freak if he sees me like this."
Exactly. "Come on." I pocketed her keys and took her hand in mine.
I helped her walk to the my front door, lifting a finger to my lips, reminding
her to be quiet the best I can. She nodded, though I don't think she fully
understood since I heard her giggle when she stumbled again. I'm surprised mum
hasn't noticed. I brought her to the bathroom, got some towels and set them
down. She grabbed me by my sleeve when I tried to leave.
"Why?" She breathed in my face. I chewed on my lip, not answering.
"You shouldn't do this. Why?" She asked again and I just stared at her. Her
eyes scanned my face for a long moment before landing on my lips. "He doesn't
kiss me like you. Nobody can."
I watched her eyes glass up and took a deep breath. She was getting intensely
emotional on the spot. I know what she's doing. She won't remember any of it in
the morning. Things will be back to normal. Whatever normal is.
"Let me know when you're finished. I'll take you back after you're sobered up."
That's all I could get out. It was safe for me. The less I said, the better it
is for us. Even though there is no us.
I backed out and closed the door. I held my chest, unable to focus. Shit, she
already kissed him. Figured as much. Those tosser eyes of his itching to make
my blood boil, it was working, a little too much. Though, it didn't completely
make me feel bad at the same time. A small smile played on my lips when I
thought of what she said when we kissed. I almost missed it. I almost had done
it just now, again. But I couldn't let that happen. Not now.
I sighed when I heard the shower running. She was naked in there. Focus Harry.
I went to my room and grabbed the body spray and covered the tracks of smoke
the best I could. I put it away, closing my door, hearing the shower curtains
jostle. I nearly wanted to make sure she was doing it right. That'd be a little
awkward. She knows how to shower. I heard some slipping in and opened up the
door, the condensation over the mirrors making everything milky.
"Are you OK?"
"Yeah, sorry. It's soapy man." Her muffled voice said, the silhouette of her
curvy body casting a shadow through the curtain. Damn.
I ached to turn it over, so badly. But thought better. She was ok, all is well.
Focus Harry. Stop being so wrapped up in the little things.
"OK, let me know when you finish. And try to be very quiet."
"OK Harry. Sorry." She laughed softly and I couldn't help but smile myself.
Her voice sounded a little bit normal and I did a silent thank you while I
closed the door firmly. I walked down the stairs and quietly went to the
kitchen to put the coffee on. I got the stuff ready for it and grabbed a tall
glass for water, filling it up to the top. I don't know how much she drank but
I just wanted to be sure and dilute as much as I could.
As the coffee was filling I noticed nobody was here. Robin was probably still
at work and mum was, where was she? I looked into the cast iron pot that was
simmering with some kind of chicken stew, lifting the lid. It smelled good.
Reminded me of things she made back home. Maybe she misses it like me too.
If I could go back there now I wouldn't be too sure of it. I'm making a name
for myself here and I'm starting to like the states more than I thought I
would.
"Harry, go and serve yourself love." I turned around and saw my mum peak her
head from the sliding door outside. She was on the phone.
She covered the receiver and smiled at me. Something was up. Who was she
talking to? The coffee beeped making me jump and push the off button on the
side. I filled the dark liquid in mug nearly to the brim. It's going to take
pure coffee to cure what Eva's got now. Least that's how I learned it. My dad,
the real one told me about this stuff. Crazy that it's random things like this
I remember.
I turned off the gas on the stove. I figured mum wanted it off anyway since it
was bubbling up. I picked up the glass and mug, walking up the steps slowly,
not to spill anything on my trip up.
I set both of them on my nightstand and sat down on my bed. The shower was
still going on as I collapsed my back landing on my unmade bed, blowing out a
gust of air from my lungs. I folded my arms over my eyes and suddenly didn't
know what to do with myself. Eva has to be nearly done. I mean who takes longer
than this to shower? I guess I was afraid of mum finding out Eva was drinking,
thinking she may be a bad influence. In fact, I have the power if I want to
tell her dad about this. I could have left her to fend for herself with the
keys and that door. Her dad would have seen everything and probably ground her
for a long time. I saved her. Why?
"Harry?" She called out, carrying her clothes in my hand, dressed in just a
towel. Her wet hair hung loosely over the front of her towel over her breasts.
"Sorry if um, you were waiting long."
I remembered when I saw her like this a few days ago. Shit, my cock stood
straight up. I winced slightly, sitting up, my jeans becoming a burden when I
did.
I went to go grab the water and handed it to her. She said nothing, moved
forward, taking it from me. She sipped on it, swallowing and drank it again.
She pushed hair behind her ear and leaned against my desk. It's weird, she's in
my room and I didn't want her to leave, like ever. Not in that sexual way, I
didn't want her to leave all night. My eyes traced her bare thighs going up to
her face. She was looking anywhere but my direction.
"You can," I rubbed my neck moving to get up. "Sit on my bed, here." I pulled
the covers over so it was flat enough to sit on.
She slowly looked around the room until she saw me. She looked at me like I was
a stranger. She said nothing, drinking the rest of the water, setting it down.
I took the coffee and brought it to her. It was still hot so I warned her about
it and that I didn't put anything inside it.
She again was so quiet it was fucking freaking me out. She blankly looked at
the carpet when she took the mug out of my hand. She put her mouth on it to
drink and pulled away. "Shit, this is hot."
"Sorry, mum was downstairs I had to be quick." I watched her drink a few sips
and set it right next to the glass. Her face flinched at the taste. I smiled
slightly.
She folded her arms across her chest. "What did you mean?"
"What did I mean about what?"
"You said…ugh," She grabbed her temple leaning into her hand, shaking her head.
"You said you don't wait to take something if you want it. What did you mean by
that?"
She looked at me finally; her glassy look replaced by one of a young girl
inquisitive about something. I confessed that in the heat of an argument, how
was I going to give a full explanation that?
I cleared my throat gently. I searched my heart and spoke, "If you want
someone, then waiting isn't an option. You tell them how you feel even if they
might hurt you in return. It's a risk."
"I don't believe in risks anymore. I don't think anybody else does either."
"Life is a risk. Dreaming is a risk. We take risks every day and we don't even
know it."
She looked at me, a sad smile appearing on her lips. "Big risks aren't worth
it. If someone waits for something then is it still worth it when they finally
admit it?"
Why was she asking me this? Did it have to do with Louis? Was this a test? "All
I know is I wouldn't wait to tell someone how I feel. Love and feelings are
rare. We could use more people who still believe in it."
She parted her lips and turned her body to me. Her towel sliding and I averted
my eyes and looked at my night stand instead. "Somebody hurt you. Who?"
I shivered all over my body. How did she know this? I thought I'd gotten so
good at hiding it since I left Holmes Chapel. I swallowed hard, staring
straight ahead.
"Doesn't matter. Love makes you blind sometimes. What's done is done. I've
moved on." I said sternly.
"With Debbie? She's the girl that hurts people. Harry, I know her."
Eva touched my arm gently. My first instinct was to remove it. She was digging
into uncharted territory. Not even stuff I discuss with mum. My jaw tensed. I
swallowed a lump in my throat.
"I've moved on. I like Debbie. She's not what everyone seems to think she is. I
like her." What was I doing? Eva is sitting right bloody next to you!
Eva turned her head down, shielding her face. "She hurts people once she gets
what she wants. You've got to believe me Harry."
Her voice was deep and dead serious. I knew this. OK, I fucking knew this. But
the real Debbie Jacobs is the girl I see. Maybe Eva is wrong. People hide how
they feel all the time. Maybe I'm forcing this belief in my head too far deep.
People can change.
"I still think she's not what people say she is. Nobody knows her like me." She
removed her hand from my arm and re-crossed her arms over her chest.
There was an air of sadness we couldn't ignore. I wished I never said anything.
I feel like my head is doing all the talking here.
"I should dress." Her voice was small and sounded hurt.
I fucked up again. But she was with Louis now. I can't protect her from that
guy, especially when I know the fate of what's to come.
I moved to get up but she pulled me down to her, we were at eye level. I
shuddered.
"Lock the door." She whispered to my eyes and held my hand in hers, kissing my
fingers slowly until she reached the tips.
I pulled my fingers away and bolted up. No we can't do that. "I've got to go
downstairs." It's not the same.
I turned before I was tempted again. Shit. I stumbled a bit moving to the door.
Halting my stance when she breathed my name.
"Harry, look at me." My head turned halfway. I pushed the rest of the way and
saw her face.
"I'm sorry I hurt you. I can't bare it, don't be afraid—" I spoke over her.
"Go out through the front door. Nobody will see you." I looked at her one more
time, not letting her respond and closed the door behind me.
I rubbed my face letting out the breath I held inside. I can't keep doing this.
I can't keep being around her like this. It's getting harder to control
something I fucking don't want to control.
Jesus. And it's harder going to get harder from here on. Fuck.
***** Chapter 23 *****
Eva's POV
I woke up the next day with the most extraneous headache ever known to humans.
It felt like my head was being squeezed slowly between two big boulder rocks.
What the fuck? How much did I drink last night? Maybe I'm just a lightweight. I
was so sure Louis and I didn't make a party of it. Plus he walked me back, made
sure I was cool. Which I was, then I remembered Harry was a part of it somehow
and my face fell. What the hell happened last night?
Bits and pieces were coming back as I pushed myself upright from the sweat
matted covers of my bed and charged toward the medicine cabinet for some Aleve.
Lord, I really can't hold it in like I thought. Some things were coming into
clear focus. Louis had a perfect fake I.D. and got us some imported beer and I
think we had a couple, or three. I don't know, we were talking and drinking
after swimming in his pool and his mom wasn't home all that time.
I held my forehead in my palm as I slid down the tile in the bathroom. My naked
legs were getting cold on the floor but I barely felt it. I wish these pain
pills worked right away. Sucks I have to wait god knows how long until I
finally feel normal again. I grabbed my mouth, feeling that familiar pain and
opened the lid of the toilet suddenly emptying the entire contents in my
stomach. My throat strained to release it all. God damn it. This is like the
worst feeling ever. But I strangely feel better from getting it out.
I looked out my window and felt a breeze from the morning air wash over my
forehead. I distinctly remember throwing up last night too. My throat felt
extra sore come to think of it. But I don't remember ever coming back here. How
did I get here? Harry…what did he have to do with this? I saw him last night. I
think we were talking. The puzzle pieces of last night were scattered
everywhere. Wow, did Harry see me like this? What did I say? What did he say?
Oh god, he's gonna give me shit about it. Did he tell my dad? Holy shit I'm in
trouble.
I rubbed my head as some feeling came to my legs, I attempted to stand up. The
blood was rushing to my head all at once. What time was it?
School? Oh shit…I moved quickly through all the torment in my brain and tried
to find some clothes. No I will not be late. My first class period was always
hard to deal with. My eyes don't focus well in the morning; I think part of my
dyslexia might be coming back. I dreaded that if it's really true.
I found some decent clothes and through them on my bed. I stripped off my PJs
and ran back into the bathroom taking probably the fastest shower ever in my
life. Damn it.
I quickly got out, nearly slipping on the wet floor with my towel almost
falling off my head. I wasn't going to bother drying and styling. I'll just to
keep it simple again, let it air dry.
OK, now. Where is my phone? Charger. Fuck balls. Where's my charger? I looked
all over my room as I while pulling on my thin socks in the air. I crouched
down and looked underneath my bed, aha! Got ya! I grabbed the phone and checked
the screen. Blank. Dead. Mother fucker. I stepped back and my feet hit a thin
cord. Yes! OK, give it life.
I plugged it back in and it magically came alive. I sighed and flicked on the
menu.
My phone started ringing. Louis? He's calling me…uh, pick up idiot. My thumb
slid across and I pressed it to my ear. I had to talk attached to my charger.
"Hey. Are you coming to get me?" I asked, my breathy voice coming out muffled.
I huffed when I didn't get an answer. "Louis?"
"Babe, school was canceled today."
My jaw dropped. The fuck? "You're kidding? Was it a holiday?"
"Uh, no, something to do with the school closing down, administration told my
mum and that's what she said, but it's just today."
Louis seemed a bit off. His voice sounded like he was in a rush and distracted.
I brushed it aside.
"Oh OK, so, we have a day off? Wow…shit." I was relieved to say the least. Now
I could feel my heart calming down.
He laughed. "Did you start your morning real fast love? Awe, poor baby."
"Whatever. Eat me."
"Well OK then." He laughed again, that high pitched belly laugh I just love
about him. "If you're serious, let me know babe."
I rolled my eyes playfully and sat on my desk chair and began to twirl around.
"What are you gonna do today?"
"Why babe? You wanna do something together?" I could hear the smile in his
voice.
I blushed, biting my lip shyly. "No, just asking. OK yeah. What's up?"
He sighed. Uh oh. "Hmm, I have a private workshop class during most of the day;
it's all the way in Anahem. Sorry love. My day is sadly filled up."
My face fell. Bummer. "What about later tonight? Maybe we could go somewhere. I
had so much fun last night."
"So did I Eva." When he says my name its like he was meant to. Gah… "Well,
shit, OK, I'll tell you this, I have these plans for most of today. How about I
text your beautiful eyes when I finish probably in the evening? How's that
sound to you?"
I stopped twirling when I got dizzy. I checked the time. It was so early, I
guess I can settle for having him another day.
"Alright Louis. Good luck at your um, acting thing. It is acting right?"
"Haha, yes it is. Just something I like to do when I'm free. They have it once
a month or so, I was glad to catch these guys now. They're so much fun! Maybe
you can come one day if you like."
Acting isn't my thing but I feel like if it involves seeing Louis act like a
nutcase, I'm all in. And if he's in very little clothing it's a bonus. "I'd
love that. Well, I'll chat with you later on then. See ya Louis."
"Have fun today babe. I'll be thinking about you. I still can't get that kiss
out of my mind." His terse laugh made me feel a bit playful.
"I can't either. It was so worth waiting for. We should do it again." I teased,
taking my hair from the bun, letting it flow loosely down my shoulders.
He cleared his throat. "I can totally cancel this thing if that was a serious
request."
I giggled. I wanted to say yes. Just say it girl. Green fucking light, he gave
it to you. "That's sweet. There's time for that I'm sure soon. That was one
hell of a kiss, I'll admit."
"I agree love. You have such soft lips."
"You have amazing—"
"OK, I should get off the line before we get further and dirtier, I would have
no problem whatsoever with either. But I am a gentlemen and a rep to uphold."
"Sure ya do." I stuck my tongue out even if he can't see me.
"OK babe. Catch you later. Big kiss, 'til next time." He made a lame kissy
noise in the phone and I said my goodbyes finally.
I exhaled deeply, twirling in the chair again. My wet hair hitting my cheeks.
What was I going to do now?
My phone vibrated. I looked at the I.D. sliding the screen over.
"DeDe, whas up?"
"Uh, been trying to ring you for the last half hour man. Did you know school's
out?"
"Yep, just found out. What are you up to?"
"Just got done eating breakfast. Mom wants me to go out; I think she wants me
to leave on purpose. Whatever. Uh, did you just get up?"
"Kinda, I overslept actually, heh, I almost fucked myself over."
"Well you got lucky. How'd you know about today?"
"Louis, he just called me." I bit my lip, smiling slyly.
Delilah clucked her tongue. "Uhuh, how was he last night? Was it everything you
dreamed of?"
I pretended to think for a second. "It was like an X-rated Disney movie."
"Huh?"
"Haha, it was…perfect. He-oh god, I don't know. I'm kinda speechless here. I
didn't think he'd be so romantic. I think I might be falling for him all over
again."
De laughed, I know that laugh. She wanted details. "Wow, wonder what he did? He
is an actor after all."
Harry said the same thing. What is it with that? He's nice, he's everything a
girl could want in a guy. I haven't found a flaw on him yet. "It's not like
that. He wasn't acting with me. I even thought about the first time we met. God
I was so embarrassed. Thankfully he was too."
"You guys are so stupid for each other it's making me sick. Remember what I
said about guys in our school; don't let them know you want it more than they
do. There's a reason why they're called horn dogs."
I shook my head. "That's not how I see Louis. He's not about the chase. I mean,
he already likes me and I feel the same way. I think the hard parts are over.
Now comes the fun part."
"Sounds like you guys had a jolly good time. Still, I love you girl, be
careful. Guys can mess with your head; confuse you a lot of time with pretty
words."
"I don't think that's Louis at all. Besides he was my first date, my first
other things too."
"So he was your first kiss?"
My dad called me from downstairs. I was thrown off, I forgot what she asked.
"Sorry, I have to go. Talk to you later." She said goodbye and I ended the call
quickly.
I pulled my hair in a loose braid that came down the middle of my back. I
didn't care how my hair looked. It was my day off. What the hell was I going to
do today?
I shrugged and walked downstairs smelling the most delicious pancakes ever. Is
that chocolate chip? I just love my dad. I spotted him sitting down, halfway
through his meal reading the morning paper. He didn't notice me enter until I
went to get a plate. I must have made a clinking noise when I started to serve
myself some food.
"Evie? Good morning, sorry about yesterday. Work held me up pretty late and I
didn't expect to be stuck at headquarters after hours."
I grabbed the rest of my stuff and sat next to him. "It's OK Dad. I was alright
by myself."
I gave myself more pancakes than usual. Didn't want to have yesterday's morning
to happen again. My appetite has come back.
"Where were you? I spoke to Anne last night she said Harry saw you come home
after 10." The fucking bastard said something.
I'm not used to my dad asking me a lot of questions. He trusted me. Didn't he?
"He did, did he? Hmm, I was just out with De, her mom wasn't home and we
watched movies and hung out."
I looked at my dad; he looked like he was buying it. I didn't want him to know
about Louis and the wonderful night I had with him. I didn't care for lectures
and there's a good chance he would probably scare the shit out of Louis and he
may never want to see me again. I opted to pass on that.
After a few minutes I said something after I swallowed a mouthful of pancakes.
"So school's out. De told me just now."
"Yeah I know. What are you planning on doing today?" He looked at me curious.
I shrugged, taking a long sip of my cool OJ. Ah, refreshing. "I'm not sure, I
guess hmm, it's beautiful outside; maybe I could go to the beach. Can you drop
me off?"
He set down his finished coffee mug, picked up his plate, walked to the kitchen
and placed it in the sink. "I can't today. I was called in for a new deadline
and I have to it finish by noon. Hey, what about Harry driving you? Both of you
can spend the day together. It'll give you a chance to show him around the
city. Go to 3rd street, show him the Pier."
I cringed. "Dad, I don't know if Harry wants to be around me this much. I don't
think it's a good idea. Hey, I'll just take come money and bus it."
"Out of the question sweetheart. I don't want you going taking the bus alone. I
know you like staying at the beach until after dark. What's wrong with Harry
taking you? He's a nice kid; a straight A student at his old school. His mom
mentioned he was on the honor roll."
He is? Why was he taking normal classes with me then? If you're on the nerd
honor society, don't you stay a nerd for life? Weird. I shook my head.
"I think he's seen a bit too much of me dad. What if I come back like before
sun down? I promise. Please?" I begged.
I brought my plate over and he rinsed it off, loading the dishwasher. "I can't
take my chances. Look, you guys will have fun. He's a smart boy, I trust him."
I don't. I'm afraid of what could happen when I'm alone with him. The rest of
last night came back in flashes; I practically remembered 80% of what went
down. Harry Styles is trouble. I'm with Louis now. I have to keep reminding
myself of this for some reason. Why did it matter if I didn't care?
"He has his own friends dad." I got another stern dad look thrown my direction.
"Ugh…Fine, I'll just stay home and be lazy." I pouted, folding my arms across
my chest. The teen angst I so perfected coming out now.
My dad wiped his hands on the towel rack and held my shoulders gently. He
pulled me into his arms and rested his chin on the top of my head.
"Please Evie. Do this for me. I'd take you myself I swear but I have to get
this assignment done. When you're older you will understand. But right now,
please just do what I say."
I hate when my Dad gets poetic like this randomly, it makes me instantly feel
bad about what I want and bite my tongue. I said nothing and hugged him back.
At that moment I wondered what my mother was doing. Was she even still alive? I
tried not to cry when my dad pulled away, kissing my forehead.
I agreed to his request but not without a chip on my shoulder. Spending this
beautiful day at the beach with Harry Styles…I didn't think I'd loathe the
sight of anything more.
Or feel enraptured. I hated this combination.
I watched my dad leave out the garage. His car pulled out from the driveway as
he gave a casual wave to me.
I turned around, biting my lip. Who says I have to involve Harry in my every
day plans? No such rule existed. I made my way as fast as I could up the stairs
and searched for my stash of my money. I forgot where I placed it last time and
turned over a shoe box underneath my bed. Shit, I needed a ton more money than
what my wallet had now.
"Eva?" Was that Anne calling me?
I wiped around and saw it was Anne. She was starting to open the window up in
Harry's room. She had that signature smile on her face as she called me again.
"Good morning." I greeted, not sure where this is going.
"Harry just told me classes are canceled for today. What are your plans honey?"
Oh no, this is like a trap.
I said the first thing that popped into my mind. "Nothing, I'm taking a break.
How are you?" Oh shit, small talk. Why did I go there?
Anne had kind eyes. That sucks.
"I'm going into work today. I saw your father leave just now." I nodded but she
continued. Shit. "I told Harry if he wants to spend the day at yours he could.
Would you mind it?"
OK, moment of truth. Would I? Of course I would. Can I really say that? I
smiled, turning red as the sun blinded me suddenly. "If he wants to. He doesn't
have to."
"Great." She grinned brighter if possible. "I don't want to leave him alone in
the house all day. Hey, maybe you both can drive somewhere. You can show Harry
around. Would you like that? I'll leave him some money before I leave to work."
Sounded like she had this all fucking planned out. Where did I fit in? I guess
I had no influence on the decision. She looked so happy right now. My heart
would drop at the sight of her frown. Ugh, I wish I was a bad person. I wish I
could do and say whatever I want whenever I want. I wish I was more like Louis.
Not that he's a bad person but his confidence is what I want to steal. His
natural swag. He was spontaneous and a bit of a recluse. I wish people wouldn't
have to sway me so easily. I wish I wasn't so swayable. God damn it.
I looked at Anne, her beautiful blue eyes shining back at me and I knew my
answer.
"I'll be ready soon." I smiled softly.
***** Chapter 24 *****
Harry's POV
I laid on my parent's king sized bed, texting Alana Strauss, Debbie's best
friend when my mum barged in, out of breath. Alana was telling me about some
party on tomorrow night and I was about to respond when my mom stopped and
looked at me.
"Oh sweetie hey, so Eva's coming over soon. You're gonna drive her whenever you
guys want. I've got to go."
"Mom! Are you serious? Eva's coming here? Like right now? Wow…like, no warning
for this?" I whined and she still looked at me.
"Don't start Harry. I don't want to have to keep tabs on you. She's coming over
alright? You're going to drive her around today, end of discussion. Her father
works terribly late and I feel awful leaving her all alone in that house."
I wonder what she did by herself too but my mum seemed so wrapped up in taking
care of Eva she made it a big deal.
"Mom, I'm sure she doesn't care to see me today. She's probably got plans of
her own." I hoped she did. I prayed she did.
I watched my mum rush around the room, tying her hair up, trying to find shoes.
"Harry please. She told me she wants to."
She did? Huh. Learn something new. That doesn't sound like her. I thought she
hated my guts. Actually I didn't know where we stood.
We weren't friends. We weren't together. We weren't anything. I wish I knew
where we stood. Maybe her coming over will end it once and for all. Besides she
may say she doesn't want anything to do with me. But she agreed to this. Weird.
Maybe she was just saying this to be nice and make my mom smile.
Maybe she wanted to see me about last night. Holy shit. I haven't thought about
or checked on her yet. Part of me hoped she was ok.
The other part of me didn't want to be near her. I didn't want to care about
her but I found myself doing it again. My heart beat incurably faster when I
thought of her face.
"Harry, did you hear what I said?" Mum snapped her fingers in front of my face.
I jumped back.
"I said go next door and check on her please. I'll leave the house keys and
some money for you both. Stand up." I groaned and swung my legs around the bed.
I figured if I don't listen to her I won't get an ear full from it later. I
just hate to hear her lectures. Besides I know its more stress than she needs
now. She just started this job and I didn't want to fight with her about wither
or not I care to see Eva Davies. She's my neighbor. It's unavoidable. She was a
problem for me. Something I couldn't avoid. Unfortunately our parents are
oblivious to what's really going on.
Mum was running around her closet looking for something and shrieked when she
found it. I smirked when she ran passed me and didn't acknowledge me.
She popped her head in the room. "Have a good day poppet. Love you."
"Bye mum." Enjoy your day. Hopefully it's less intensely awkward than mine.
What am I saying? What if it's not that bad?
"Harry, don't forget to go over there. Left some money on the kitchen table."
Mum called from downstairs before I heard the door close.
I bit my tongue before I grabbed the car keys, house keys off the table and my
jacket from the closet. I was glad some of those boxes were clear and now we
have some space to walk around. I won't have to worry about the carpet or
tripping anymore.
I hesitated before walking outside, the sun's eyes burned mine and I wish I'd
taken my sunglasses. Enough wasting time. Mum's car was out of sight. My body
felt like it was shivering all over. Why was I so nervous? It's just Eva. She's
like any other teenager out there. Except she's Eva…somebody I could have had
but now everything's all fucked. She chose who she chose.
It's too late to convince her of anything. Not she'd want to be convinced. I
hate myself for what happened. I hate myself for getting involved last night.
Regardless of how I feel about all this I found myself walking the 12 steps to
her front door. I lifted my hand to knock sharply. I guess I wanted this over
with fast.
I didn't know what to expect right now and I was scared of what she might say.
Oh well, here goes…I calmed my shallow breathing before the door cracked open.
I saw her ice blue eyes through the sliver of the crack; she pulled the door
open and just looked at me.
We stood looking at each for a long moment. I didn't know what to say or how to
say it. It looked like she was startled to see me as well.
"Good morning…"
"Hello Harry…"
More silence. She finally moved her eyes, clearing her throat.
Her face was stuck on the ground as her lips parted. "You don't have to do
this. I can tell your mom we hung out. They don't have to know anything."
I sighed; I didn't know what to do with that. "I can't lie to her." I've never
really lied to my mom, least not like most people.
"Harry you're not obligated to do anything. I have money for the bus and—"
"You're not taking the bus." It came out of me before I could stop it.
She looked at me; her glance a strong one. Her eyes danced over my face like
she was scanning it for memory. She moved closer to me, not tearing her eyes
away.
She opened her mouth to speak; I couldn't take it anymore and bent down to her
level, giving her a strong, stern kiss on the lips I missed. She didn't pull
away this time; instead she pulled my body closer by my jacket and deepened the
kiss, making me moan inside her mouth. As the kiss lingered I backed her into
her house. She closed the door roughly and pushed my lanky frame against the
hard surface. Shit, if I wasn't fucking hard before…
She smiled into the kiss and nibbled on my bottom lip, sliding her tongue in a
swirl inside my mouth, another moan, more like a groan escaped my lips. We
didn't say anything. We didn't need to. Nothing else mattered but her kisses,
our kisses. Her hands were touching, feeling around, grabbing on my body. I
pulled away finally when she cupped my cock. I hissed in her mouth, pushing my
tongue further inside, making her taste me.
We were both painting out of breath at this point, heavily. It was so strong
and hot I almost wanted to cry. Shit. I never cry. Hardly. Kissing her made me
emotional, it made me stop thinking and start feeling. And it felt amazing. I
cupped her face, leaning my forehead against hers, kissing her nose before my
lips melted over hers.
She took my hands, lacing them and brought me over to the couch, our lips still
connected. I took the lead, laying her down and climbed on top of her, my lips
lingering again before coming down to capture hers once again. I could feel
every part of me surrender in this kiss. I wanted her, god damn it I wanted all
of her. Her warm body heat pressed up against me as her hands danced around my
body, feeling everything she desired to.
Shit…this is getting heavy pretty fast. Her hands reached to my belt,
unbuckling and unzipping my trousers.
Oh no she doesn't. I stopped her and she stopped kissing me, looking at me.
I smirked. "Let me do this first…" I whispered, kissing my way down her lips,
her chin, and all the spots on her neck. I felt like a vampire.
She groaned and I just chuckled, it rumbled against her skin. "You're a
stubborn asshole, mmm…" She moaned. Good shut up and let me do this.
She started to stop me as I was removing her jeans. "Harry stop, no…"
"What's wrong?"
Her face was unreadable. "It's just, I'm not like perfect. I don't have the
best legs—" I shut her up with a soft kiss. How could she think that?
"To me you are. Don't worry so much." I looked down at her body, taking my time
to scan every part of her, nuzzling my face in her neck, sucking on a hidden
spot. I pulled away to whisper, "You're so beautiful."
She pushed my chest, laughing. I was serious damn it! "You're so full of shit."
"Am not. You are. I'm going to make you see it." I pulled away, looking at her
as she nestled herself in my arms.
I wanted to keep going but I think I hit a sweet spot. I'd much rather hit her
actually sweet spots to be honest.
"It's different for guys. It's like, guys are, I don't know, it's hard being a
girl now. I know I don't have what most pretty girls at school have."
My eyebrows crossed. "Which is what exactly? Isn't that what makes you unique?
Why worry so much?" I assured.
I didn't want her thinking what people are obviously to blind to see.
How could Eva not really see herself? That took me by surprise. Especially the
way she talked and carried herself. She's just a young girl. It's probably a
lot harder for girls in high school than for us. She didn't want me to see her
legs, but the truth was they are so gorgeous I couldn't wait to have them
wrapped around my back. I couldn't wait to be the one to take care of her body
and make her see who she really is. She's a fucking beautiful girl; I'm gonna
be the first to make her believe it.
"I don't know…guys just want a certain girl. Look at all the famous people.
They seem to be getting with the most beautiful models, you never see a guy
with…" She trailed off, buried her head deep in my shoulder.
"…someone like you?" I finished. She looked at me with one eye and nodded
sadly. "Idiots. All of them. Trust me, models are not that exciting. After a
few shags with those twigs, we often get tired and move on."
She laughed, it reverberated between us. "You've had experience with that. Just
look at you. Have you seen the way people look at you at school? You
practically dominate it."
"Now you're the one that's full of shit love. How could you not see what I see?
Come on now, look at me." She turned her head; her glassy eyes were changing
her mood. "Don't cry babe. Please don't."
She pushed me again but I caught her hand before she stood up. "Harry, you
wouldn't understand."
The back of my hand brushed her cheek, pulling her face to mine. "I'll make you
see it."
She smiled again, it was slightly curved and sad. It broke my heart to think
she thought of herself this way. She moved closer to me. What's going on now?
She licked her lips, biting it, shit that drove me crazy. "You have an answer
for everything. Can I please touch you?"
I'll never forget how she looked at me, her eyes getting small as her bottom
lip shook.
I sighed, here I am, trying to make her see gorgeous she is and now she wants
to give something to me. Just say yes; just do it. Look at the way she's
looking at you.
Come on Harry; let her, just like last time, only better. "OK babe."
She grinned, kissing me so hard she pushed my body down on the couch. I thought
I was sinking but I didn't care.
"I'm sorry if I'm not good at this…" As her hands came to my belt; rubbing me
through my pants.
I raised an eyebrow, looking down at her. "Whatever you did last time, do it
again. Don't worry."
She took a deep breath. I had to laugh at how serious she was taking this. She
worries way too much.
My breath hitched when she yanked down my boxer briefs, pulling my hard cock
out. Her warm mouth instantly covered it and I almost lost it right there. Hold
it in, don't cum yet. Shit. Let her enjoy it. She took me deep in her mouth,
sucking me strong in a rhythm that made her head bounce up and down. Her
gagging was making me grow even harder. Shit.
I could feel it; I squeezed my eyes tight and finally let it go. My come shot
far and long. I groaned, my hands reaching for her head, her soft wavy hair
that fell on my stomach. I felt her swallow me.
Good fucking god.
I breathed in as she looked at me. Her bottom lip shiny from my come and I
suddenly pulled her on top of me. My cock was now soft but I know it'll get
hard again any second.
I looked into her eyes and pressed my lips against hers, getting all the
tension out of my body. I have her to thank for that.
I reached down and practically ripped off her panties, sticking my fingers into
her wet pussy. Missing the smooth, hot core my fingers felt before. I felt I
was going to explode again as her teeth bit my lip. She pulled over to the
side, her lips sucking on a spot of my neck; I felt her bite down and moaned at
the pain and pleasure of it.
I pumped my fingers into and out of her. She was so wet I could hear loud
noises from inside her. I can only imagine what my cock will feel like buried
inside her. How perfect everything would be the moment it happens.
I pulled my fingers out, turned her body over so I was on top again, before she
came I sucked hard on her pussy, I heard her nearly scream as her legs shook. I
knew this was it. She squirted right inside my mouth and I took all her warm,
sweetness. I caused this. I turned her on this much.
She was mine.
Only she wasn't. I wanted her to be. I wanted to so badly give her me. Not just
my body, my heart. I sucked the last bit of her before I came closer to her
face.
My knuckles slid down her silky cheeks. "Open your eyes beautiful."
Her breathing was sharp when her eyes fluttered open. She swallowed slowly, my
eyes trailed to her delicate neck back to her lips and then her eyes. I held
the gaze.
"Harry, ma—"
Her eyes shot wide open. "Move." She said in a rush as she looked around.
What's going on? "Oh shit. Harry, I think my dad came back."
***** Chapter 25 *****
Eva's POV
I looked out the window quickly and saw nothing. Huh? I could have sworn I
heard my dad's car come up the driveway.
"What's going on? Eva? Is your dad here?" Harry asked behind me.
I could feel his body heat and it was distracting my focus. I felt Harry's
cumbersome hand on the small of my back but I avoided it and looked again
outside. Every corner of the street.
Shit. Oh my god. Then I saw my neighbors come out a few houses down from our
cold-a-sac. I breathed a sigh of relief, placing a hand over my heart.
"No, false alarm." Harry's hands come on my shoulders and I closed my eyes.
"Sorry."
Harry pulled me in his arms and I opened my eyes when he rested his head on top
of mine. "Relax. You don't need to worry about everything so much."
"Easy for you to say. I've never panicked so much in my life." I said, I wish I
kept those words inside but I felt strangely honest all of a sudden. Something
about the way Harry looking at me now, I hated it.
He chuckled deeply. "I worry too. But you don't need to when you have me
around."
I sighed and pulled out of his arms, closing the curtains not turning around.
"About last night. I'm really sorry. I probably should have been more careful."
He stood next to me because I wouldn't turn around.
Harry looked at me, it was like he wanted to say something but he looked at me
just listening. I sighed and finally looked at him. He nodded behind me,
brought me over to the couch and we sat down. I tried to keep my distance now.
I don't know why, being around him makes me feel vulnerable. Not like Louis.
His mood around me was so lighthearted I didn't think about my problems so
much.
With Harry, my entire life history was put to the test. I'm surprised he wasn't
running away like most guys his age would. Why was he so different than them? I
couldn't place him with guys in high school. The way he dressed, his
expressions, his demeanor, every girl wanted to be with him and every guy, even
if they don't admit it, wanted to be his friend.
Harry had it all. I had...I had nothing. I guess I drank last night because for
once I wanted someone to see me in a new light. I've struggled to fit in with
people at school and yet Harry, the new kid, did it so easily in just four
days. Why does he want to be around me? What can I give him? Seems like he's
got everything people only dream of in school.
Louis was nothing like Harry, they were polar opposites. Louis was at the start
so friendly, outgoing, confidence and just approachable. Girls at school
secretly wanted to be with him but would never admit it. I saw the way Bo
McBride, one of Debbie's lackeys looked at Louis one time he had his shirt off
for P.E. Of course I was staring too but it bothered me when I saw other people
looked at him that way.
But things are different now, Louis accepted me. I did like that. He likes me.
He wants me to have fun, try not to take everything so seriously. I understand
that. Louis is a great person and I want to see him again. I know where I stand
with him.
He told me how he felt. On my senior year of high school no less, but still,
better late then never. Louis is a great person. He wants to be with me. Why
can't I fully accept that?
Harry touched my cheek with his fingers. "You're being quiet." His thumb
brushed my chin nearly touching my bottom lip.
Oh yeah, I forgot, that's why. "Harry...what are we?" He pulled back quickly,
looking around the living room. "Harry?"
He rubbed the back of his neck and turned to look at me. He widened his green
eyes; I could see his pupils dilating. Was he nervous too?
"Hmm?"
I gulped, it hurt but I asked it again. "What are we? What is this?"
He put even more distance than I did and I grew scared of him. What the hell
was going on? Why won't he answer?
He was quiet for a few long moments. I felt like it was years until-
"We're friends." He said, looking at me, holding my gaze. "I believe we're
friends."
Why does my heart hurt so much to hear that? Why do I feel like killing myself
to those simple words? Why do I hold this in when he is right there, sitting
next to me?
"You do?" My voice shook. I hated this. I was giving myself away. "Yeah...we
are. Hmm, you're right."
Why was I agreeing with him? I know it was a lie but I still did. It's too
late. He likes Debbie more. She's prettier, blond, tall, beautiful, perfect
body... and confident. He'll never feel that way about me.
Friends. Alright let's recap what just happened here: Can I avoid Harry Styles?
No. I only attempt to at school. Will I be jealous if he touches someone who
isn't me? Yes. Do I have feelings for him I can't understand? Yes. Can I tell
him? It's already too late.
Can I be friends with Harry Styles? I honestly don't know. Friends...that's all
he wants from me. After all of that.
Fine, I can be his friend. Whatever that is. I can.
Harry looked at me through my eyelashes; I held in all my emotions and put on
my best fake smile. No crying. No hurting. No dwelling. He made his decision.
Debbie makes him happy. I just have to get used to it. I have to force myself
to get used to it.
He gave a crooked grin and pulled my body close to his. My nose filled up with
his smell and I knew this was going to be hard. "There you go being all intense
again."
I laughed because crying would be telling the brutal truth. "Yeah well, excuse
me for being a girl. It's hard job."
"You're probably right babe." I sighed and closed my arms around his torso
matching his breathing with mine. "You guys have the toughest job. Blokes at my
old school got mucked on for having girlfriends. We had our cliques there too."
"Were you popular?"
He sighed; I looked at him in mid-thought. "People knew who I was; I wouldn't
say I was popular. I did normal things. I wasn't obsessed with sports like guys
are here. We love football though. I just played it for fun."
I remember the picture of Harry when he was really young with the soccer ball.
He seemed like he was having a lot of fun. I smiled. Harry was a happy kid. I
envied that about him. He does it so easily. Nothing bothers him. Like Louis,
he may not have any flaws either.
He may be, dare I say it, perfect. But he wasn't mine. I pretended he was in
that moment. There was so much I wanted to say to him but I think confessing
how I really felt would mess everything up. I could do it. I could be friends
with the hottest guy in school. And now, because of Debbie and the squad, the
most popular.
"Do you miss it?"
"England?" His stomach rose as he talked. "Sometimes. I miss my mates a lot."
"Would you ever want to go back if you could?"
Harry was quiet for a few long moments. I thought he was asleep, I checked him
and he was just staring into space.
"Harry?" I reached up to touch his face but he caught it. I tried to pull away
but he held onto me. I felt the pressure he put and moved to get away.
He turned to me with a serious look. "No, I wouldn't. I like it here." He
loosened his grip and more held my fingers in his.
"It's not boring to you? You just moved here." I shrugged.
He looked down shyly, then back on me. "I do love it here. I miss home but
America is great. I love the weather, the people, everyone is so nice."
There was more to what he said and I wish I knew what else he was thinking
about. The smile on his face was real but there was something behind it.
Someone behind it.
We pulled away from each other and just relaxed. God, this is the laziest I've
ever been.
"Yeah, it's practically perfect here. It's home I guess." I bit my lip, pulling
my legs up to my chin.
"You don't like it?" He was more stating than asking.
I just shrugged again, hugging my legs to my chest. I didn't realize my heart
sped up out of nowhere. "It's all I know. I sort of dream of living somewhere
else. Anywhere but here. I love my family and my little cousins when they visit
but sometimes I wish I could change my scenery. I'm sorry. I'm rambling…"
I felt his hand cover my knee. "It's OK; I wasn't too excited about leaving
home. It's all I know too. I feel like a lot of people won't understand how
much I really miss it. Change is good. I didn't think so but I like it now."
"You like being popular. Who doesn't?" I said with some venom in my voice. That
could have been me but I chose individuality.
Harry laughed. I wondered if it was at me or what I said. "Why do you think I'm
popular? I just have friends. I mean, nobody's perfect."
I didn't want to talk about Debbie, Alana or that whore Bo. I just couldn't
stand it now that Harry seems to think they're normal girls like everyone else.
They are not and he won't believe me no matter what I say. Teenage girls can be
the most manipulating force on Earth. All I know is if you fall into their
trap, they have you.
I hope Harry doesn't really get destroyed by them. Seems like it's what he
wanted, still I fucking cared even though I shouldn't.
I sat back sloppily on the couch, looking up at the ceiling, sighing heavily.
"I'm hungry."
I felt the couch move when Harry came closer me. "Well let's eat. You wanna
watch a movie or go somewhere? We can't just sit here."
I stuck my tongue out; finally my sense of humor came back. I missed it. "Or we
can." I acted like I was going to stay until he shoved my shoulder playfully. I
rolled my eyes and moved to get up and wobbled a little.
Harry's hands were on my back and I got a flash from last night after Louis
dropped me off. He had the same look in his eyes. I just looked at him stone-
faced. Oh no. I pulled away and he frowned. Did he see it too?
"Thank you."
"Sure." He bit his lip. I looked at his lips, so badly wanting to finish what
we started. Go further this time. Having sex with Harry must be the best thing
ever, I'm placing bets on this.
Maybe…he probably wouldn't, I don't know, things, vibes are awkward between us.
He's a friend. I need to stop seeing him as more than that.
I thought better of it since I know now he doesn't feel the same way.
I walked away from him to find the landline on the other end of the couch. I
tried to remember the digits for the pizza place and came up empty. I walked
passed Harry over to the fridge, eying for the number.
"What are you doing?" He asked, coming up next to me.
I was looking around for the little magnet for the number and couldn't find it.
"Just ordering a pizza. Why?" I turned around. "You not OK with that?"
Harry let out a goofy laugh. "You Americans and your take-out bollocks."
British much?
My cheeks turned a bright shade of pink and I placed the phone down on the
counter. "Excuse me?" I folded my hands across my chest.
When I threw a look at him he just laughed again but harder this time. "Don't
you have food here? Or did you eat it all?"
My jaw flew open. "Pardon that? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
He grinned and came toward me. "I was just kidding. God, it was a joke babe. No
seriously. You guys have food here right?" He walked to open the refrigerator
door.
Umm… "Yeah, I think so. You wanna like make something?" Wow, I couldn't sound
anymore lame.
He didn't answer me and continued to look inside the fridge with that
determined look in his eyes. His eyes went wide when he spotted something. He
took it up, showing it to me. It was a few lamb chops.
"You wanna make them?"
"Yeah, why not? I haven't had them in forever and we could mix it with other
stuff. You have some pahsta?" I laughed at the funny way his accent addressed
words.
Harry's voice was molasses deep but his accent did make me laugh on a few
words. He looked at me innocently. "What?"
I shook my head, holding in my laugh, getting the elbow macaroni package out
and throwing it on the counter for him.
"Absolutely nothing. Does this meal go with a spot of tea, love?" I went to the
cubby to get the Lipton bags. I pulled out the Cane sugar bag. "How about a
spoonful of sugar?"
Best fake British accent ever. Harry didn't laugh though but he smiled. "Ah, I
see there. You're making fun of my accent. Would you rather I talk like you?"
I shook my head as he started to prepare the meats. I thought he was gonna drop
it as I brought the pans for him and he winked. "Like omigod! Thank you Eva.
Like thanks. Omigod thanks so much for the help!"
Ugh, that's a terrible version of a California valley accent I've ever heard.
Clearly he should watch Mean Girls if he hasn't already seen it. "Very amusing
you prig."
He cleared his throat as he prepped the meats on the pan, squirting olive oil
all over them. "Seriously, girlfriend. Like thanks so much for the help. Now
like, go away and leave the kitchen gurl."
His American valley accent was so gay it almost could win a Tony award. "Harry,
you're terrible at accents."
"Whatever. I am the best at accents babe. You haven't heard my southern or New
York ones yet." I rolled my eyes for the thousand time, he just knows I'm
right.
I peeked over his shoulder again.
"What are you doing?"
He looked at me and stuck out his tongue, grinning, his dimples making an
appearance. I'd be turned on if I wasn't so fascinated by what he was doing
with the chops. I moved closer to look but he put his hand in my way, blocking
me. I moved it, scoffing.
"No women in the kitchen." He looked at me. "Oh you're just a girl. You can
stay." I poked him on his side and watched him hold in a laugh. "Seriously, go
sit down Miss. Impatient."
I looked over at what he was doing with the lamb and watched him add a couple
of herbs and seasonings over the top. It seemed simple but I can't cook for
shit. Maybe because I didn't have the patience for it. God, another thing Harry
has over me.
"I didn't know you could actually cook." I said, shock and amazement dripping
from my voice. "Who taught you?"
After he turned them over, hearing that sizzling sound, he covered the chops
with a lid, turning down the heat. He cleaned his hands and dried them on the
dish towel.
"I cooked with my mum growing up back home. She'd ask me to help her all the
time and I just learned everything she did." He opened the bag of macaroni and
poured it into the boiling water of the sauce pan next to the chops.
He was so careful with every little thing. I admired his skill and precision.
"That's kind of cool. So you would cook everything together?"
He nodded. "Yeah a bit of everything I guess. My favorite recipes were her
Toad-in-the-hole, anything with sausages and onion gravy." He kept his eyes on
the pan and then flicked his attention on me. "She would tell me "learn how to
cook so your future wife will be taken care of. No women allowed in the
kitchen." He smiled, looking at the ground.
I just looked at him, my face frozen, my lips parted, my breathing nearly
stopped. I slowly looked at him leaning against the kitchen sink, his hands
folded across his chest. He seemed to be in deep thought; I didn't care at that
point. My chest was rising and falling and my heart was getting the better of
me…
Friends or not, I was falling for Harry Styles. To prove it I grabbed his face
and kissed him roughly. He kissed me back even stronger.
I didn't want to fight him anymore. This was it. I leaned everything I had into
the kiss and pressed my body firmly against his.
When I pulled away, I licked my lips, rested my forward against his, kissing
his lips softly, my lips brushing his.
He gulped, stuttering his words out before they finally became clear. "I like
this friendship. I like it a lot." I felt him smile against my lips before he
kissed me passionately.
I couldn't remember what today is or what I was. I was sinking in a new heaven
I didn't want to leave. Please, nobody take me away from here. Can Harry stay
with me forever?
***** Chapter 26 *****
Harry's POV
I haven't had this much actual fun with a girl in a long time. I almost forgot
how it felt. Eva and I were in the middle of watching Friends with Benefits and
I couldn't help but see some obvious bull shit. Story-wise.
It's a funny movie but that can never happen. Least with me. For right now
anyway.
Dylan and Jamie wanted each other, it was obvious but neither could be honest
and say that so they agree to shag each other as friends. No feelings or
strings attached. Feelings fuck everything up. I could see why they would want
that. The strong feelings I had for Elena was the last straw. After she was
gone I knew she was the last person I was ever going to feel that way about.
I looked at Eva, her lips curved into a bright smile and she touched my elbow
for my attention.
"She is so cute." I saw Mila Kunis in her tight black shorts before their first
shag. You could practically see her bum crack, it was awesome.
I heard crunching next to me and looked at Eva shoveling a handful of popcorn
in her mouth and smiling at the scene where Mila and Justin Timberlake were on
the couch.
"Yeah she's fit. Russian chicks are banging."
She scoffed. "She's just cute I didn't say she was hot. There is a difference.
Plus that hot boyfriend who dumped her ass in the first scene was right about
her eyes. Two fucking big."
I laughed and nudged her shoulder. "Someone might be jealous. You gotta admit
she's fucking hot as sin." I took a mouthful of popcorn from the bowel she had
on her lap.
Eva looked at me through slits in her eyes. "I am not jealous. Justin is way
hotter if you ask me. There's something about him that's irresistible. He's got
that sexy swag with that nerdy, business look down flat."
I'll never get the fascination with girls worshiping pop stars who think they
can act too. Pop stars alone was bad enough. It was my turn to scoff.
"Whatever, he's a pussy compared to her."
"Your love for Mila Kunis is so pathetic I almost feel sorry for you. Cute and
hot. Learn the difference. I wouldn't have sex with her even if you paid me."
She said the last part quietly.
This girl gets more jealous every time she talks. I grabbed a handful of
buttery popcorn, shoveling it in my mouth before she moved the bowel away. I
reached for it again and she moved it further away on the corner of the coffee
table.
"You're being evil now. It's just a movie. She's another hot girl among
millions out there." She rolled her eyes and stared at the screen with a
disgusted look.
"Whatever Styles…" And we're back to that name again.
I couldn't help but laugh at her behavior. "There you go now, being a big arse
drama queen for nothing. Come on. Can I pretty please have some popcorn
darling?"
I pouted and blinked several times. I really wanted to make her laugh; break
down her serious walls for once. She seemed to take everything seriously when
other girls were brought up, fit ones only. She folded her arms across her
beautiful chest, showing some cleavage and huffed softly. It was fucking sexy
as hell, if I jumped her now will she forgive me?
I'm not an animal but I am a man. She was being just good old jealous, I shook
my head throwing my hands up.
"Haha, Eva, she's just another girl. I didn't mean anything by it. I just said
she was hot. I don't wanna stalk, kidnap and force her against her will to
marry me."
She shrugged. "Why not? You two would make a great couple." I looked at her,
about to laugh but she continued with a wide off-putting look in her eyes.
"She's hot, you're hot. You'd make hot babies. Your life story will read just
like 50 Shades of Grey. You can have her. You and every blind guy out there who
doesn't know the difference between what's cute or—" I cut her off when my hand
came rubbing gently along her inner thigh. "Hot." Her jagged breathing slipped
out.
Oh yeah, that shut her up. "You're telling me I don't know a beautiful girl
when I see one?" I whispered, my hand rubbing near the heat I wanted to touch
so badly.
She bent her head back, closing her eyes. I vaguely heard the movie playing in
the background. It was mostly comical sex and I reached for the remote to mute
it. I just wanted to hear Eva. Her soft moans were calling attention to my
cock. I could practically feel it strain in my trousers.
She turned her face, looking at me. She sucked in her bottom lip, locking her
eyes to me. She looked down at my hand as hers came over it.
I felt slight pressure she put on me as she groaned softly.
"You can't win by tempting me." She croaked, whispering to me as her breathing
hitched sharply.
"Stop enjoying it so much then." I smiled, biting my lip.
"You're an asshole Harry. Can't always get what you want." She tried to pry my
hand off her thigh but I held on strong.
My other hand caressed her cheek as she tried to look away from me. "I already
have."
She giggled and forced my hand off her leg. I let her win and watched her catch
her breath. Yes! I won that round.
Her face broke out in a smile then and she started giggling; more erupted into
a fit of giggles. I won again! Shit I'm on a roll. I watched her double over in
laugher and found myself smiling, and then finally laughing along with her.
She stopped laughing first and looked at me with a goofy expression. She looked
at the screen then over at me, a sweet smile on her lips. "We should do it."
"Do what?" I was genuinely confused, her face changed from sweet and silly to
semi-serious in a flash.
"We should totally have sex as friends." She said simply. She patted my knee
and I just stared at her blankly.
"And this would be a good idea because why?"
She stuck out her tongue and turned her body to face me, folding one of her
legs underneath. "Because…we both want to."
I sat up and checked her eyes. No signs of drugs, drinking or any other outside
influence. These were sober words.
"Harry, I'm aging here, stop staring at me."
I rubbed the back of my head shyly, looking at her awaiting eyes. What did she
want me to say? "You're actually serious?"
"Yes, I am. I think we should."
I sat up straighter. Holy shit. She wasn't blinking. "I know its movie but,
that kind of stuff always goes wrong."
"Harry, that's because they were adults. They feel things we can't feel or
understand. We're extremely hormonal teenagers and we want to do this. To be
honest I've been thinking about going all way since the first time you fingered
me in your bed." My cock was in serious pain. Holy shit. She said that shit
without stuttering. Um…
My brows lifted. "I thought you were asleep." Wow, that was lame to admit.
She looked down shyly, smiling. "Not exactly. I knew it was you. My dream was,
well, about you but I could tell the difference between dreams and reality."
I looked at her now. Where was all this unannounced confidence coming from?
Earlier she almost ran for the hills when I tried to strip her down to see her
thighs. She yammered on about not being perfect and her insecurities were at
the forefront, which made me stop touching her all together.
I sighed, taking her hand, holding it gently.
"Uh, look Eva, I really like what we have now, we shouldn't complicate it with,
well," I paused and looked up at the movie, Mila and Justin were mid-shag. I
shut it off. "It's just a movie. Stuff like this isn't something to play with."
She almost looked hurt but then she climbed on my lap, straddling me, her
shapely bum resting on my knees. She wrapped her arms around my neck. "You can
have me anytime." She leaned near my ear. "Anywhere." She kissed under my ear
lobe. She moved to the other ear, repeating the kiss, but lingered. Her warm
breath burning my skin, clouding my better judgments. "Any fucking way."
She pulled back, biting her lip playfully but her eyes were dead serious. She
gave that look. She wanted this. She wanted me. "Fuck me Harry. Slide that big
cock deep inside my tight pussy." She said "slid" as she licked her top lip.
Bloody hell.
I've done a lot of crazy things in my life but I don't think anything has
matched up to this level. Truth was, I was scared. I already had some feelings
for Eva; I cared about her more than I should. I wasn't sure how things were
going to be if we did do this. Were we just going to leave the emotional
feelings at bay? That terrified me. Even all the shit I've been through with
Elena and our breakup. I'm not the person to treat someone this way. I looked
at the blank TV screen behind her. Maybe Justin and Mila should have been a
warning.
I took her body off me gently and stood up, the blood returning to my brain
again. I just wanted to stand up and make full sense of what I'm doing before I
agree.
"Alright so." I gestured, now standing up straight and tried not to pace. I
looked at her, her eyes were still those confident, "fuck me now" eyes and I
couldn't believe this was so hard to answer. "OK, so, we just shag and that's
it? You really don't want anything else?"
She shrugged, "Well that's where the friends part comes in: you'll be my friend
when I need you and the same goes for you. I'll be there for you if you want to
talk."
So I get her body and nothing more? That sounds too good to be true. Is this
how it really worked? "Alright, alright, um, are we allowed to date other
people?"
She smirked. It looked dangerous as she cleared her throat. "Of course we are.
We aren't together like that."
Huh? I really have never done this before. This stuff is clearly done better in
the movies. Something about this entire thing sounds odd.
I sat down, more plopped down on the couch in defeat. I did want this and I
want her. "Hmm, so we just fuck each other and are friends?"
Eva began twirling her fingers in the ends of my curls and I felt her breath
near that area. "That's right."
I looked at her with all of my facial features construed together. I sighed, my
face changed. I really do want this badly. She seemed to have everything all
figured out.
I racked my brain. What could possibly go wrong with this idea? "OK, let's do
it."
Eva smiled brightly, swinging her arms around my neck hugging me tightly. "You
have chosen wisely."
I hope so. I didn't say that but instead hugged her back but not as tightly.
Maybe she was scared too. I only had sex with one person who meant the world to
me. Can I shag someone without falling in love with them? I guess we'll find
out.
Thunder cracked and we pulled apart. I shared a look with Eva who shrugged and
she stood up, walking to the curtains to investigate.
I followed behind her, it was instinct. I felt like every time she got up, I
needed to follow her. I have to control that so she doesn't become suspicious.
"Jeez, it's pouring." She said, while I looked where she was.
The neighborhood was soaked by the time my eyes circled the block. Wow, out of
nowhere too. Now this feels like home again.
"There go the beach plans."
I looked at her. "You really wanted to go?" I felt bad about interrupting her
plans.
She nodded as her face fell. She jumped when thunder crackled and went directly
in my arms. "Yeah, I did."
My arms came around her slightly shaking frame, pulling her closer to me. I
leaned down to kiss the top of her head gently. I couldn't help myself.
She stayed in my arms for a long while, I wasn't thinking about how amazing it
felt. Tried not to. How was I going to calm myself enough to pull this off? I
pushed back the water in my eyes and focused on her curled in my embrace. She
pulled away, looking in my eyes. I saw the same girl outside Grady's office
that morning, the one who had hand in that food fight and managed to save me on
the first day of getting detention. My hand brushed the porcelain whiteness of
her cheek, feeling the blush creep in. Her irises widen and everything made
sense.
I needed to stop this. No emotions. No falling in love. I could do this.
Convincing myself of this won't be easy.
And it fucking sucks.
***** Chapter 27 *****
Eva's POV
The rain died down but the pain inside me didn't. I don't why I agreed to that
arrangement with Harry. Sure, I wanted him that way, but, it was like I was
possessed with lust when I spoke those words.
It was spur of the moment. It was what I wanted. But it wasn't all I wanted. I
wanted Harry, all of him. I wanted to be his. I guess I thought this was the
only way he'd keep kissing me. I didn't want him to stop. I didn't want to stop
dating Louis either.
I went upstairs to charge the dead battery on my phone when Louis sent me a
message.
From: Louis
Message: I can't stop thinking about you. Forgive me…I'm supposed to be
learning my lines and all I can do is think about our kiss. I can't wait to
have more. Eva, wait for me tonight. :)
I stared at the message for a good five minutes before I turned off the screen.
I closed my eyes and fell on my bed feeling like utter shit. Why was I doing
this to him? I cared so much about Louis. But the other part of my heart
doesn't want to lose Harry. Tears slipped off the corners of my eyes and I knew
this was the beginning of the end.
I truly don't know where all that seducing with Harry came from. I was so
scared. He said he wanted to be friends. I thought that was the end. But I had
this idea to prolong something we both can't deny. He's an issue for me. When I
stare for even two seconds in his eyes I lose all inhibitions. I'm his even if
he never claimed me.
I grabbed my phone, self-tormenting again as more tears fell. Another message
from Louis I missed earlier. I opened it and read it through glassy eyes.
From: Louis
Message: I should have blown off this rubbish gig. Sorry love. I really should
of. I regret not spending the day off with you.
Louis please don't do that. I've waited so long to hear you say those words. I
couldn't believe that I was the bad one here. I am playing with these guys'
heads and I'm lying to them. Gosh, what a cluster fuck. Why didn't Harry say
no? A typical guy wouldn't care. Sex is sex. Ugh, I don't know what I'm saying.
Harry doesn't deserve this. I feel like though the only reason he agreed to
this so I won't find out his secrets. Louis had none. I knew every bit of his
life up to this point. He broke it off with his girlfriend and they barely
talk. No breakup baggage. He's completely single and he's moved on; with me. I
want him to. I want this. I want everything. I want too much. Wait. I want
Harry too. I can't lose him. I'm falling for him and I can't stop sinking.
It hurts how deeply I feel about this guy. Did Harry want more if I said yes?
Did he feel the same? Louis did. I looked at his messages and read them over
sitting into the covers of my bed. Kissing him was everything. I can't stop
thinking about him. I can't make this decision now. I just can't. I'd lose
Harry but then I'd lose the guy I've waited for also.
"Hey," I heard a knock and my door turned. Harry smiled at me and all I could
do was return it the best I could. "You been up here a while, you alright?"
I made myself sit up and put my phone away. I nodded then caught his eyes. I
grinned, masking all the doubts I kept concealed. I am such an awful person.
But I can't let Harry see me like this. Now is not that time to meltdown.
He approached the bed slowly. I watched his next move, waited. I moved over so
he could sit down but he hesitated. This wasn't him. He instead sat on my desk
chair, twirling around like a 5-year-old. I didn't know what to make of it.
He stopped twirling and inched the rolling chair closer to me until he was
tangible enough. "I've been thinking about our little arrangement…" He trailed
his words. I panicked.
I swallowed the lump sitting in my throat, waiting for him to continue. When he
didn't I spoke. "I thought I said what…" He looked at me finally. "Harry?"
He moved even closer if impossible. "I want mo—" My phone rang, startling us. I
ignored it but the ringing was so persistent Harry practically forced me to
answer it.
"Harry." I turned it off instead. I saw it was my dad and I should have
answered it but I had to turn it off. I looked at Harry and now he was being
uncomfortable, fidgeting in his chair. "Tell me, Harry." I placed my hand on
his knee.
He singed back, moving the chair where it had been. I looked at him oddly; it
was like he was afraid of me. "I asked Debbie out tonight."
We were silent. He wasn't looking at me. I gotta say something, anything.
"G-great!" I said before I sprung into tears. This is what he came here to tell
me? The arrangement entailed we could still date other people. Maybe my plan to
keep Harry some way in my life wasn't the greatest of ideas.
He nodded, looking down still. "Picking her up tonight, in a few hours…"
"Harry, that's great." I said that already. He knows I did because his nose did
that annoying scrunch when he got frustrated with me. "I'm happy for you."
The most painful words of my life were just said. Neither of us could keep eye
contact. My reason was my feelings for him, what was his excuse? Didn't he want
this to happen?
I moved my body toward his but he took a step back. He finally looked at me but
for a few seconds. I saw his eyes, "Harry, sta—"
"I can't, I mean, I'm sorry." His green eyes locking on me. I didn't want him
to go. I never wanted him to leave but he was.
I watched him walk downstairs and I knew I was saying goodbye to someone who
was never mine.
I won't have it.
I ran down the stares and blocked his pathway to the front door. "Harry, make
love to me. Right now."
He looked at me with a sad expression but I wasn't moving. I grabbed his face
and smashed my lips onto his like it was my last kiss. He didn't fight me. He
couldn't. Not when he ached for me too. His lips trailed in a sparse line down
my jaw reaching to his favorite place, my neck. I exposed it fully to him and
he took every advantage of it. Nipping, sucking and kissing every spot for him.
"Open your eyes. Eva, babe, open your eyes…" I had my eyes closed the entire
time and I didn't know. My back felt soft suddenly, I pressed down and the
surface didn't feel hard anymore.
I blinked my eyes open and saw my ceiling, gasping, this is my bed, holy shit.
Harry. I felt his heavy, soft hand on my cheek. I sat up. Oh no. He pulled his
hand back and frowned.
I swallowed and looked around the room. Was this really happening?
He chuckled deeply. "Interesting dream, love. I heard some of it."
I smiled nervously, getting fully awake by the second. "Yeah…"
"You sure dream about me a lot. I'm flattered."
I turned completely red. "I dream about other things too."
I knew that didn't sound convincing enough but I still tried. I pulled my hair
out of my face and cleared my throat loudly.
Harry patted my knee just like I did to him in the dream. "Come on, let's do
something fun."
I looked at him oddly. "You don't, have any plans?"
"Plans?" He smirked. "My day is with you. Why would I make other plans?" He
seemed genuinely confused I asked him such a question.
I shook my head. I was getting nowhere with this. I took a deep breath,
standing up with some help from Harry. I think I was standing like a drunk. He
let me lean against him for support.
"Easy there love. Let's take it slow. You don't have to get up so fast." He
spoke in my ear.
When all the feeling came back to my body I removed myself from his hands. "OK,
whoa. How long was I asleep?"
"Asleep? I thought you were napping, I guess you were tired. It was only an
hour. I thought something happened. You sure everything is OK?"
It was just a dream Evie. More like a nightmare. Good to know Debbie didn't lay
her thin cat claws into him.
It wasn't real. I had to repeat this in my head as he stared at me, waiting for
my answer.
"No worries."
***** Chapter 28 *****
Harry's POV
The rest of the night between us was spent watching toilet humor movies and
whatever was on TV. It probably sounds terribly boring I kind of liked it. The
beach plans were thrown out of the window because of the unexpected overcast
outside. I was a bit gutted myself. A part of me wanted to see what Eva's body
looked like in a two piece, if she owned one.
I really don't know what I'm going to do about my feelings for her. She
honestly likes Louis but there's something between us that I constantly want to
be around. Something that I want to explore. I can't figure out what it is. Yes
I was sexually attracted to her and love acting out on it but at a certain
point something's gotta give and one of us has to say something.
We are friends and that is the main thing here. I am getting to know her slowly
and I feel this is the way to do it. Take things as they come. Try not to sweat
the shit and drama that comes with something as intensely passionate as what we
have. Eva brings it out in me. The animal, the man, the guy who'll do anything
to see her smile, even for a moment. She dreams about me, I'm curious who this
person is who looks, talks and acts like me in these dreams.
She mumbled fragmented sentences in the last one. I couldn't make out what she
was saying even if I heard it a million times. I couldn't help but be curious
about it. Was I good to her? She probably won't tell me.
We were lying on the couch watching Garden State on one of the cable channels.
I find the movie a bit too real from the other light themed ones we've been
watching. Natalie Portman is sexy and cute and Zack Braff is just the nerd
coming home trying to understand everything. A lot of subtle quirky drama mixed
with rethinking what your life is and what it's going to be. Pretty deep I say,
maybe too deep.
I looked down at Eva as she was cuddling in my shoulder, her hand peacefully
resting on my stomach. I didn't want her to move. Everything in this moment was
perfect.
I felt a vibration and she squirmed slightly. It vibrated again and she moved
once again.
"What is that?" Eva pulled something out of her jacket pocket. Her phone. She
didn't bother checking the device and placed it on the coffee table.
"Don't worry about it."
Was it Louis? I can't compete with that guy. I don't want to. I didn't just
want her body I wanted her. I wanted to date her. Why can't I just say this?
Her phone vibrated again. She hugged my body tighter, what if it is really
important and she's refusing to answer on my account?
Eva reached to turn it off when it vibrated again along with the ringtone going
off.
"Sorry. I thought I shut it off." She mumbled.
"What if it's your dad?"
She pursed her lips and that gave me a subtle hint. I felt really gutted about
all this. If she wanted to see Louis then I'm not going to stop her, even
though I want to. I'm falling for this girl and now I can't have her. I don't
think sleeping together is the answer. It might bring us closer together. The
more I touch any part of her, the stronger my feelings grow. I hate this. I've
wanted this girl since I first saw her, why can't I get my shit together
already?
Her phone was completely off and she turned to me with a forced smile plastered
on her face. "No big. Let's watch the movie." She focused back on the screen.
But I couldn't. My brain wouldn't shut up now.
"Are you going to see him again?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.
It was so quiet in the room I actually heard her swallow. She didn't look at me
as she opened her mouth.
"I'm not thinking about that now." She looked at me, her arms now crossed. She
looked nervous. "Could we watch the movie please?" She propped her bare feet on
the corner of the table.
I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came. Either she didn't want to talk
about it or she was going out with him. I can't control what she does. This
blows. I won't get a straight answer from her so I let it go, for now. I am
curious as hell if he is taking her out. I don't want her being under the
influence, especially if it's far away and I can't be there.
I also didn't want him touching her. He doesn't know what turns her on. Not
like me. I've never been able to make a girl cum so quickly. She came fast only
when I touched her. Someone like Louis isn't the man for the job.
"You think that could happen?" Eva's voice shook me suddenly as she pointed to
the screen. In the final scene of the movie, Zack was going to leave Natalie at
the airport.
I stared at the scene. It was a little cliché and pathetic. "What?"
She gestured again, her knee brushing mine as she curled her legs up
underneath. "You think knowing someone after four days can change someone's
life?"
I extracted the filter from my answer. "It's just a movie. I don't know if this
actually happens."
She looked down. Maybe that wasn't what she wanted to hear. "Yeah, you're
probably right. How could you actually fall in love with someone you only met
four days ago?"
I turned my full attention to Eva as she pulled her knees up to her chest,
rocking back and forth. Maybe that made a lot more sense than I was letting on.
I patted her knee but she didn't look at me. "It could be real too…anything is
possible. I think it takes a lot longer to get to know someone before you fall
in love."
She rolled her eyes. Something's bothering her. "No…Maybe it's just a joke.
You're probably right." She stood up, grabbed the popcorn and walked to the
kitchen.
I followed her; she was hiding her face behind all that hair. All that
beautiful silky and hair that called for my fingers.
She poured the rest of the snack back in the bag, being extremely quiet. I was
getting scared now. Should I?
"Eva, it's just a movie, right?" I almost laughed at how lame I sounded asking
that. Of course it is. Of course the story moved so fast.
"Right." She whispered, turning her face slightly, her back still turned.
"What's wrong love?" I moved to touch her shoulder but she brushed it off.
"Nothing." She didn't turn around. One word answers are never a good sign.
I made her look it me. She had beginning tears ready to fall down her cheeks.
"Baby what?"
Her tears fell before she shut her eyes tightly. Without a word I pulled her in
my arms strongly. I wanted to protect her. I always protect my friends but she
wasn't just a friend. I know she wasn't.
"Harry, I can't sleep with you." She whispered, I could hear the pain stream
out in her voice. "Be-" I hugged so she was pressed to me, her voice swallowed
in my embrace.
Her body was shaking. Oh shit. I pulled her even tighter to me. I didn't want
to let her go. "Don't worry Eva. It's ok."
"But…Harry, I-I…" I pulled away to look at her. She cupped my cheeks; my hand
came over one of her hands. "I'm just confused."
"Come." We pulled away and walked back to the couch, sitting down facing each
other. "Tell me."
I waited for her to start. I had something to say too but I wanted to hear her
before. I moved some hair from her eyes, the innocence still strongly radiating
off her face. Sometimes it hurts to look at someone so beautiful.
She almost smiled. "We are quite intense aren't we?" I blushed, looking down. I
was sure she caught me. "I've never done anything like this before."
"Done what love?"
She bit her lip, looking away sheepishly. "Just, um, stuff. Like this…" She
gestured between us. "Like all this…"
I was a bit shocked as I let out a deep breath. I didn't care. But it's good I
know this. She looked so vulnerable right now. I pulled her body back in my
arms resting my chin on the part of her hair.
"It's ok. We can take things slow if you like." I meant this, my eyes opened
suddenly. They narrowed.
What about school? I get on with a certain crowd now. I thought about my
friends and suddenly it became hard to support this answer.
Debbie and the girls can't stand Eva, but I didn't feel the same way. I liked
both girls. But, I want friends at school. I want people to hang with. I don't
want to come home and deal with loneliness anymore. My dad, my mum, Elena
haunting my dreams, the home problems, all of it. I just had it made. I had a
reputation. It was all I wanted the second I moved here. It kept me sane.
"Slow is good…" She said, pulling away to look at me. Her eyes burning mine,
pinning me with their penetrating stare. She smiled slightly, those plump lips
curving. She moved toward my face, closer and closer until I felt her hot
breath smother my cheeks.
She pressed her lips against mine taking me away from all doubts before. Her
hand came to my cheek as I leaned into the kiss, her tongue peaking at the
crease between my lips. I opened my mouth after a few seconds of teasing on my
part. I loved how she felt pressed up against me. Her body putting pressure
over mine, making it hard for me to get away, even though that was far from my
mind.
I just wanted her. We agreed. No friends with benefits. Well, sorta. I still
wanted to be physical with her, in other ways. She doesn't have the experience
I have. But the way she kisses... I think I just died. When I kiss her, anytime
it happened, my darkness just slips away. Life was easy again; if only for
those moments. What does it feel like? Intense as hell. The kind of passion you
only read in novels describing the perfect love scene.
Was this perfect? She was…how am I going to deal with this tomorrow?
Doubts. My feelings. My heart. My Eva. My new friends. Hard life. Haunted by my
past. Judgments. Open ridicule. Solitude. Loneliness. Despair. Even suicide.
Evil thoughts. These doubts were creeping up before I could contain any of it.
I slowed down the kiss until her forehead came resting against mine. I was so
torn. So deeply torn. Keep my new life or-
"What's wrong?" She asked. I hadn't realized I was staring into space for a
long while.
I shook my head, trying hard not to look at her. I sighed. She asks too many
questions. I felt uncomfortable. Shrugging, I played with her fingers on my
chest. Maybe to veer her attention off the topic.
"Nothing. Don't worry about it." I assured.
"Harry…" She breathed, her body pealing off mine, the shiver replacing where
her warmth had been.
She looked at me with a tilt of her face. "Harry what is it?" She said slowly,
carefully.
I sat up straighter, my body stiffening to the question. I just wanted it over.
I want to give her a straight answer. She looked at me, still curious. Her lips
curving together, her brows creasing when I tightened my jaw. My body language
was failing my speech.
"Is it Debbie? You're going to see her again aren't you?" She asked as if
knowing the answer already. The pain evident in her tone. I couldn't ignore the
truth…but I tried my best.
I buried my eyes in my palms. I couldn't see straight. Couldn't make eye
contact.
"Harry. Tell me the truth?"
My head whipped around harshly to stare at her. My eyes blazing, red sprayed
around the iris. "You're seeing Louis. It doesn't matter."
"Harry, I—" Noises from the garage took away the words from Eva's mouth.
Shit. I looked at her and couldn't help but feel terrible.
"Oh god. He's here." She said in a panic. I used this as my only way out.
We stood up from the couch as I glanced at the clock. The overcast was replaced
with blackness, I obviously lost track of time.
Eva tugged on my jacket sleeve. "Harry, before he comes in, please just tell
me." Her eyes pleading with mine and I felt myself pushing away. Again. Pushing
away the person I cared about.
I can't open up. Not like this. I'm not ready. Debbie was safe. She was a fast
fuck. Something I can get my mind off of.
That wasn't Eva. This is why we can't be together.
"I'm sorry..." As the words escaped my lips I let myself out through the front
door before I heard her faint cries to me.
Alone. I was outside now. Cool breeze. Cold. My heart felt cold now. Cold was
safe. Dark is the only answer because this is what my fate is.
I turned the collar up on my blazer jacket. I just wanted to hide. Eva's
sparkling innocent eyes were breaking my heart as I walked into my house
through the back.
I hated myself now. I reached the entrance growing madder by the second.
I slammed the door shut behind me and grabbed my curls in frustration. I can't
I just can't take this any further. I couldn't use Eva. Debbie I could. Eva
belongs with Louis. They have so much history. She never answered me about all
those messages and that call. I knew it was him and I gave her a chance to be
honest with me. I knew why, she liked him too.
More than me? I'll never know.
Maybe its better this way. I have to get used to seeing her with another guy.
***** Chapter 29 *****
Eva's POV
What just happened? I barely noticed my dad strolling inside through the
kitchen out of breath. I think he was. Everything was so confusing now. My eyes
did a strange dance and I knew I felt tears brimming. Hold it in Evie, hold it
in.
"Sweetheart hey. Tried to come back as early as they let me. I still have some
deadlines to get to but I have until tomorrow to type them up." He said in a
huff.
I was in the middle of a pre-meltdown. Why did Harry do this every time I think
we're getting close? What's he really hiding? Is he doing this just to hurt me?
Will he tell me what's wrong?
That movie we saw got to me too. I was feeling things that were buried deep
within the crevices of my heart. Stuff I never repeat to anyone. I've never
felt this strong about someone I just met. Was it possible? Am I actually, head
over heals in love with this guy?
What the fuck was wrong with me? I was so busy wrapped up into my own self-made
drama I didn't notice my dad pulling me in his arms for a hug.
"How was your day sweetheart?" I panicked. Should come clean about how I really
feel about Harry?
If he sees me angry he'll want to know more. I have problems lying to him. I've
done it before many times but always felt guilty after it immediately. Typical
teenager guilt. Fuck.
"It was OK." I swung my arms, searching for the next words. "How was work?"
Changing the subject, good.
Dad stared at me funny. "Just OK? You were with Harry today? Didn't you guys
have fun?"
Fun is the furthest thing from mind when it came to Harry and I.
"Um…yeah, sure we did." My acting deserves an Emmy award. I'm not proud of
this.
He smiled and kissed the top of my head. "Well that's great baby. So the
weekend when I'm gone he can come over and you both can go somewhere else. Show
him around the city. I don't want you staying coped up in this big house."
I cringed. But I'm still mentally making plans with De this weekend. Since it's
obvious Harry and his mixed signals shouldn't be anywhere near me right now.
"Right." I nodded. I wanted to agree just so my dad will not bring it up again.
"I cannot wait."
I started to back up out of the kitchen until he called me back.
I felt him walk close to me, shit.
"Is everything OK?"
I went with the safe answer. "Yeah, goodnight dad." I turned without hearing
his response and trotted up the stairs.
I winced at my behavior. Damn it, this is not me.
I'm normally not like this with my Dad. He and I are actually close, we've
gotten closer since I started high school and he was there for me during all my
awkward teen times. Since I didn't have my mom in my life in a way my dad
became both for me. Louis' mom at school was decent to talk to. I wouldn't take
advantage of it since she sometimes shared my problems with dad but thank god
she kept the feminine stuff between us. I used to go to the nurse's office a
lot in my freshmen year. I was just gawky, awkward and uncomfortable around
people. Mute at times. Guess you have to be a true introvert to know what I
fully went through. Things are better now. I actually talk; I do things, stayed
away from boys. Staring was OK but avoiding them was how I got through high
school. Until now…
I am just going to have to push my feelings for Harry away. Yes, this is what
I'm going to do. I made my way to the bathroom, getting ready for bed.
As I brushed my teeth I tried not to think about Harry. But he was just there.
It's weird; I thought he really cared about me. He certainly had me fooled. I
can't be friends with him, I can't be anything more with him. Why is he doing
this to me? Why am I being so affected by this? With Louis we were always
friendly with each other. Just nods and smiles, no weirdness. He never made me
feel intimated to approach him, but I did feel shy around him. Suppose its
natural; the guy is pure gorgeous. My first crush, my second kiss. Harry didn't
feel like a crush even. What was he?
Just my neighbor? The guy I obsess over but can't have. I should really forget
about the guy, start the process now and have no regrets. Just four days ago he
was a blur. I didn't know him.
I can't stand how crazy this entire thing sounds. Harry doesn't care about me.
Louis really likes me. But right now, I'm not feeling so secure with Louis
either. I thought I did. I had feelings for him but with Harry they ran much
deeper. How is that possible? He and I never even had a real damn conversation.
Every time I try to we end up touching, kissing and be extremely physical with
him. That's probably how he sees me. Fuck. But I feel for him. Is this the
point of no return? Can I really forget this guy? A guy I don't even know? A
guy I've been dreaming about intensely? Damn it. Gotta stop this now!
I went to my dresser to put on my comfy clothes forcing myself to calm down.
"Sweetie…" My dad's voice asked behind me. I heard the click of the door and
took my time to turn around.
He looked at me with sullen eyes. "What's wrong Evie? I don't want us to be
like this."
He knew me too well. I get it from him after all; we can't lie to each other.
We're not built that way. We're Davies. It's just us he used to say. We'll all
each other got. And he was right. My dad always protected me and I could come
to him if I ever needed to really talk no matter how busy he got. He cared
about me and I valued that. It's what family is all about. Being there for each
other. Looking back on all the times I came to him made my eyes slightly
watery. I couldn't help it. He really was there for me. He is my father and I
love him so much.
I hid my face as I ran into his arms, hugging him tighter than I have in years.
Last time I did this I fell off my horse at Cotton Tail Ranch when I was a Girl
Scout. I was so embarrassed I buried my face into his shoulder and stayed there
for god knows how long. My dad just held me. No words, no discussion, he just
held me and let me cry my eyes out like the baby I am.
But I'm not a baby anymore. I'm 16; I'm a teenager, a young adult. I'm supposed
to know better. I'm supposed to be smart. This is what everybody keeps telling
me.
My dad held me stronger. I didn't want him to let go. Just like that time at
the ranch, I didn't care about anything. I just wanted to hide somewhere. I
wanted things to go back to how they were before.
I barricaded my eyes in his shoulder; I just didn't want to talk. I didn't want
to do anything.
"Tell me. Please honey?" He whispered.
"No, can we not talk?"
"Did something happen? Are you sure you're ok? You're such a strong person; you
don't have to hold it in you know? Sometimes talking about it can help."
"Dad…" I trailed off on purpose. We pulled away and sat on my desk chair, my
dad on the edge of my bed.
I said nothing for a few long moments. I really didn't know how to tell him
this. Its not that I think he won't understand it's just, I've never felt this
way before. I don't even know if it's really something worth feeling. I'm so
young and it's too early to feel so deep like this. Harry is practically a
stranger. It's just…not right, I think it's not right. My dad looked at me,
waiting for me to say something but I wasn't going to.
I'm not ready to tell him. Love is such a confusing emotion. Harry didn't feel
the same. He doesn't like me. What he said about love is true. It takes time.
What I'm feeling isn't love.
I should have listened to the first dream I had. It was a subtle warning.
"Evie, I'm getting worried. Please tell me what's wrong?"
My eyes flicked up to meet his. My lips pursed, this is just too complex but
I'm beginning to get it. The more I don't think about Harry Styles, the more it
just becomes a dream.
I shook my head slowly, halting the tears that started to form at the corners
of my eyes. "I think…sometimes I wish I knew why mom left. I don't know, it's
been on my mind lately. Is that so wrong?"
This wasn't a lie. I never knew what she was like. I never had her. I felt left
out from everyone else who had a mother. It didn't feel fair. My dad twitched
when I said "mom" and I knew I probably shouldn't have gone there. Dad knew the
real reason.
"Come here baby, sit down." He motioned for me to sit next to him and I
complied almost instantly.
My dad struggled to form a sentence; it was like he was trying to remember
exactly what happened. Why did I get the feeling I wasn't going to like what
I'm about to hear? I shivered before anything came out of his mouth.
"Evalyn, I—" he paused, using my full name always made me brace myself. "Your
mother, she, she was the love of my life. My true love. My soul mate. We were
crazy for each other. I think you're old enough to know this so I'm going to
tell you the truth about your mother and me. It was my fault. All of it. I
loved your mother, Olivia like my life depended on it. It's funny, 17 years
later and I still never forgot how she looked when I first saw her. I knew it.
I just knew she was the one I was going to love for the rest of my life. Olivia
was a renaissance beauty. She had this deep intensity that drew me to her and I
knew I wanted her in my life. We would fight sometimes, boy they were hostile.
But in the end, we were crazy in love with each other. She knew I was in love
with her since I touched her.
I listened as he paused, taking a big breath. I was enthralled with my dad for
opening up like this. I wanted him to continue. Why did she leave?
"Olivia loved me back! She was it for me, I wanted no one else. But, this
wasn't a fairytale. This is real life. This isn't some romance novel. My life
wasn't perfect. I had a past life that I was worried about anyone finding out.
Your Grandma would tell me that everything is going to be OK despite all of the
problems and depression growing up. I had my sister to look after since all of
the problems were between my parents fighting over money or your grandma not
trying hard enough to support everyone. Your grandfather wasn't always a nice
person either. Since what happened with your Grandfather, my dad, it was just,
it wasn't a happy life. We weren't a perfect family. I was so worried if Olivia
found out about this she'd never want to be with me. There was another thing…
He paused again. I was practically on the edge of my seat with this story. My
eyes went wide with curiosity.
"I was scared of getting hurt. I fell in love again and I was scared Olivia
would leave me for someone better. She was the most beautiful woman I've ever
seen. She had another guy chasing her for years, he was the complete opposite
of me, when I found out she liked him too it hurt me so much. She wanted both
of us but I knew the truth deep down. Olivia wanted to be with me and I wanted
her just as badly. My first girlfriend haunted me though. I'd have nightmares
and flashes, memories of her breaking my heart. As in love as I was with Olivia
my fear of getting hurt and her liking someone else was too much for us.
I grabbed my dad's hand when he paused, his voice was breaking up. I couldn't
see him hurt. Not my dad. Not his good heart.
"The problem was, we couldn't stay away from each other. Your mother and I. Our
intensity only grew stronger the more we tried to fight how we felt. We got
closer until one day we couldn't take it."
I knew what he meant, sex ed was good for some things.
He touched my cheeks, his glassy eyes returning. "I wish the story had a happy
ending. When you were born, she couldn't raise you. Her own mother already
disliked me from the start. She didn't understand our love. Olivia and I were
forever, we were soul mates. I messed it up baby. She isn't here because of me.
It was her parents, they were European, had standards and were controlling and
I was just an American guy that always treated her good. They didn't like me
right away when they found out about my past. Her parents' influence over her
was too strong. Much stronger than what we felt. I should have fought harder
for her. I loved her so much, I—she wasn't meant to leave. But she-she did that
one morning, you were barely one-years-old. When she left it was just you and
me. I had made attempts to find her but her parents got in the way every time."
When he finished the story I didn't know I stopped breathing. Realizing this I
took a deep breath. My dad has been through more than I thought. For many years
I hated my mother for leaving him but to hear it was my dad's fault, it didn't
change much. I still feel like my mother should have tried to be with my dad if
she ever loved him. Both of them should have fought for their love. Why does
all of this make perfect sense? I couldn't help but understand all of this. I
wasn't confused by any of it strangely.
"Dad, I love you." My voice broke as I hugged him against my tiny frame. His
body shook suddenly. Inside he's still that same guy who's still in love with
her.
I forgot he was once my age too. I was so mad at her and I didn't even know
her. My dad deserved so much better. He's a hopeless romantic.
Now I know where I get it from. Harry wasn't my true love but some guy out
there is. Harry and I have absolutely nothing in common.
I realized talking about my own personal problems might make this discussion
even more depressing than it already feels. Hearing this was a lot to take in.
But I am glad he finally told me. He also said he felt better for doing so and
that he should have told me when we first moved here. I was going through all
these changes and going to my dad for all these things was unorthodox.
I gave him a finale hug before he got up, and leaving me alone for the night.
He stopped suddenly, turning around. "Evie, I love you. You're my life. I don't
regret anything because it gave me you. If you need someone to talk you I'm
always here love. Never forget that."
He smiled genuinely it reached his eyes. I almost cried on the spot but held it
in. "OK Dad. Goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow morning."
He bent down and kissed the top of my head, the corners of his mouth lifting as
he turned the other way. When he left me alone finally I sighed deeply. A
bittersweet smile crept up on my lips as I felt so lucky in that moment. I
didn't have two parents who raised me. So what? We weren't perfect. I'm not
chasing that word and its best that nobody ever chases it either. My dad
surprised me tonight. I discovered a new found respect for him. Hearts are
fragile. Love is strong but it's not enough, fear can be stronger. Now I know
why my dad never went out on any dates or talked about anybody he was
interested in. Because there just wasn't anyone. When my mother left I was the
girl in his life.
My phone beeped on the ground, scaring me. I debated wither to check it. Damn.
Isn't it weird how even in serious times I get distracted by my phone beeping?
Still, I found myself reaching for it. Just charge it, don't check it. No
distractions. No boys. Maybe it's De, damn it could be. OK, maybe just a peek
won't hurt me.
I turned on the light.
From: Louis
Message: Hey you! Hope you got my messages earlier. Thinkin about ya babe…knock
knock!
Huh? What's going on? My window shook with a couple bangs on it. What the fuck?
I walked toward it, moving the curtains.
Louis stood, gripping something. He was holding on the wooden latter on the
side with a big grin on his face. "Hello there lovely."
"Louis, this is dangerous, get down now!" I nearly shouted but kept my voice
down. "Come on, come in."
I helped him climb into my room through the window and instantly ran to my door
to shut and lock it. I whipped around confused.
"What are you doing here? It's really late." I couldn't help but notice Louis
in his sexy blue skinny jeans, his messy hair covering his eyes and that denim
jacket that outlined his muscles.
He nodded and plopped his body onto my bed, resting his head against the
pillow. "I know. I missed ya today is all."
I nearly laughed and came to seat at the end of my bed, looking down shyly. "I
kinda missed you too." Part of me was anyway.
Louis sat up on his elbows, looking at me with a smirk. "How much did you miss
me love? I must know all the details now." He lifted his eyebrows suggestively.
I pushed his chest down but he caught my hand, pulling me close to his face. "I
just missed you. Simply. Heh…" I became nervous. Louis' eyes were extremely
sparkling blue at that moment.
I struggled to look away. Damn it! Louis closed the gap and swung me over so he
was on top now. His body enclosing mine. I was trapped but in a good way.
"I did miss this…" The husky tone in his accent was making my legs go numb.
He smiled slightly before bringing his lips to cover mine, slowly, gently. I
felt his warm mouth prod mine, opening slightly, his tongue peeked out, sliding
across my bottom lip and I knew I was in trouble.
I just have to be really quiet. Louis' hands were coming to my face; hold me
there as he did his magic. I stopped him when I felt one hand squeeze my heat
down there. He wanted to do this. Oh god it was tingling. I better stop this. I
wasn't ready. I was thinking so many things right now I couldn't go through
with this. I looked at Louis, pecking him before sitting up. He sat up with me,
nodding and kissing my hands, playing with my fingers.
"Louis, have you, um, done this before?"
His mouth was stiff. I tried to say something, maybe take it back. He looked
uncomfortable talking about this. "Once…but she was my girlfriend."
I gulped, nodding. "Did you love each other?"
Louis gave a goofy smile but I was being serious. Maybe humor is how he deals
with serious shit. "I did. Not anymore. Why do you ask?"
I shrugged. "You seem a lot more experienced than me."
He chuckled and kissed my nose. "Babe I'm a romantic guy. I'm serious about
this stuff just like you are. If you want to wait then of course we will.
There's no rush."
"I'm not supposed to have boys in my room. I never lock my door." I frowned,
not sure why. This is my dream guy. This is the guy I'm meant for.
He wants me in so many ways. I gave a sad smile. What is wrong with me? Get a
grip Evie. Louis is the guy for you.
"I never asked you to." That's true. Maybe he did just want to say hi. "I heard
your dad is going on a trip this weekend. Wanna come over to mine and have some
fun?"
"Do you have any wine coolers?" I joked.
He smiled, blushing. "I also have soda too. We don't have to drink if you don't
want to. Though you were more fun when you loosened up."
I narrowed my eyes but he stuck out his tongue. His face turned serious. Funny
how he can do that better than anyone. Suddenly silly to serious and proper.
Only Louis.
His hand came to my face. "No alcohol. Least not for a while." I cleared my
throat. "I'll think about it. I was going to make plans with Delilah but we'll
see."
"No plans with the scary bloke next door?" Louis was just joking, but even
describing Harry made me shiver.
I made eye contact with him finally. His blue eyes were so hypnotizing I could
drown in them deeply, getting lost inside their pools. "No, Harry won't be a
part of my weekend."
He hesitated, things got uncomfortable for a few seconds. "Good. Taking you to
school tomorrow then?"
I nodded. De always did it but it's nice to know Louis offered. I'd rather it'd
be him than Harry. My dad will more than likely make me ride with Harry, god
knows why.
"I have some things planned for us, are you alright with it?" Louis is full of
surprises. I wonder what he had up his sleeve.
"Just don't embarrass me."
"Never. You only get the best. And for you, that's me. There's no one else I
want to be with." He smiled at me, the room illuminating instantly.
I crushed my lips against his, feeling his tongue slide slowly in my mouth as
mine, in a wild frenzy chased his. "I want to be with you too." I whispered
against his lips.
He smiled against me, laughing, pushing his tongue further in the contours of
my mouth, my tongue finding his in a sultry dance for dominance. He kissed
exactly as I dreamed. He kissed me like it was his last. I felt tears I didn't
recognize falling off my cheeks and I moved my lips to his neck, avoiding the
wetness of my cheeks touching his skin.
"Eva, love? What's wrong?" I didn't stop kissing him but he stiffened suddenly.
I continued kissing spots on his neck but he held my hair in his hands. "Babe,
what?"
I shook, my hands were trembling. The discussion with my dad came back to haunt
me. Harry's face. Harry's lips, the way he made me feel. But Louis is right in
front of me. Shit. What am I doing?
I stopped what I was doing and got off the bed. What the hell? I need to be
alone. Louis being here isn't helping. I can't do this. Not now. I need to
break free from all these distractions.
I felt my elbow being touched. Don't crumble. Hold it. "Eva, please? Look at
me."
I slowly turned around and met his eyes with my red swollen ones. "I'm sorry
Louis. I'm so sorry for cry-"
"You're sorry for crying? Here, come and sit. Talk to me. If you're
uncomfortable, tell me. Let's talk about it." He led me back to the bed and I
just sat sloppily. I almost fell off.
"Easy. It's OK, are you alright love?" He whispered close to my ear. Goosebumps
formed before I could stop them. I really needed to calm down.
I suddenly breathed really fast. I felt Louis' hand on my back until it
subsided. Shit. This was fucking embarrassing. Dry heaving in front of your
crush. How is he not running away?
When I finally calmed down I told him I should sleep. I can't do this. So much
has happened and I couldn't deal with anymore surprises. Even though Louis is
full of good surprises.
He understood completely, hugged me gently. I almost led him out the front door
until he stopped me. My dad would see it. Shit. My head wasn't working right. I
laughed at my stupidity but Louis just kissed me and told me it was OK. He
kissed me differently now, slowly and carefully. I wasn't scared of the way he
kissed me. I wanted this. But ugh, so much has happened. This is officially the
longest day and I have to be the one to end it.
Reluctantly I pulled away, leaning my forehead against his. Our breathing
interspersing while our hands interlocked. This felt so right, but he had to
go.
He kissed me quickly and turned without a word back out the window. Just to be
sure, I watched him climb in scrupulous manner down the latter the same way he
came up. He made it down, giving me a final wave with a wink.
I felt eyes on me and looked to the window directly across mine.
Harry Styles was glaring at me. Harry fucking Styles was glaring at me?!
***** Chapter 30 *****
Harry's POV
"Harry wait don't close—" I shut the window before Eva could finish the
sentence.
I can't deal with this now. I can't really deal with this ever. The longer I
think about it the more I feel guilty.
I lay in bed that night with a million thoughts running around my head. Why?
Why can't I let her go? Why am I feel this way about someone I just met? Why is
Louis so wrong for her? Why is any guy so wrong for her?
A knock on the door shook me from this and I looked up. Mum. She looked at me
sadly, I knew that sad smile. It broke my heart. I prayed it wasn't dad.
"Harry…are you alright?"
Why is everybody always asking me the same things? "Yes, what's wrong?"
She shut off the hallway light and I thought she was going to bed but she came
back inside and closed the door, leaning against it. She raised her head to me.
"Harry…" She came forward to me and sat on the end of my bed, looking down. Uh
oh, a known tell she had when it was bad news. "Are you, honey, are you happy
here?"
I sat up straighter, clearing my throat. "Yes I am, are you?"
Her eyes were shifty, even in the dim lights I could see her nerves seep out.
My mother has such a good heart. It hurts me physically to see her in any pain.
"I am, I think we're going to stay here longer. Until New Years. I just got a
ring from your father."
I nodded, understanding everything. I didn't say anything since it had nothing
to do with me as she keeps saying.
"Divorce is official. We had an argument just now. Reminds me of all those
terrible times gosh. The ones I tried to protect you from."
I remember those too. "I know. That's why I love you mum. It's just us as you
say." I smiled sadly, placing my hand on her shoulder gently, comforting her.
She looked away for a few moments in deep thought. She sighed, looking at me.
"Robin is a good man. He's been a good friend to all of us. Your sister too,
before she left for Uni. She rung me too. Sends her love. I miss her so much.
We tried so hard Harry. We really did."
I gulped; I sensed she was getting more emotional the longer she talked this
way. I pulled her near my chest, hugging her securely. "We always try and we've
done OK I think. We're not perfect. No family is mum. But you are to me. You've
done so much for me over the years. Protected me from so much. I think it's
time I protect you because I know you need it. I'm just so sorry."
She pulled away to kiss my cheek and look in my eyes. I saw myself mirrored in
her stare. It's amazing how much I look like her.
"Harry, it's ok. I know we try. I still think about those awful memories from
back home and I wish they weren't so fresh. I only wish I tried harder. I could
have done-"
"You did the best you could and I love you for all of it mum. I'll never forget
this. Everything good that happens to me later, I want to share it all with
you. Please don't cry."
She rubbed her nose but I knew she was trying so hard to hide it in. She put on
a brave face always when it came to me. I was her baby. I still am and always
will be. No matter where I go in life I carry her with me. When I look in the
mirror I see her eyes, her smile reflected in my features.
"OK well, I wanted to tell you this because I thought you deserved to know.
He's well, your father. But he's back home, where we left him."
"I know." I repeated. He is where he should be and so are we.
We belong here. As confusing it was to me, this is our home. I've only been
here a week and I want to stay. I want to see my mum smile again. I miss those
times where it wasn't so stressful and mum was so carefree about life. I think
I get my brooding intensity from her. My dad was more the aggressor, the bloke
who demanded more than a human being was capable of. He hardly pulled his own
weight; I even knew the massive burden he placed over mum at such a young age.
I'm glad she left him finally. Robin was a good partner to her. She needs him
when I'm not around. He sort of held this family together when mum was having a
serious breakdown from all the home expenses. It was just such a hard time. I
honestly don't fully understand how we all survived. My sister, Gemma, had a
way out and that was that. Wasn't easy but we managed. I admire my mum for
instilling faith in us every day through those difficult and at times suicidal
memories.
"Harry?" She asked, I had a feeling she was asking it a second time.
"Oh I'm sorry, what?"
"Elena called." I stiffened. Shit. Was not ready to hear that. "I told her
hello from you."
I nodded, giving a thin smile. Underneath was a layer of hurt and anguish. A
memory I never wanted to surface back up again.
I never fully told my mum the entirety of what happened between Elena and I.
She knew we broke up, I just reassured her I was going to be ok from it all.
But really, I was slowly dying inside. She doesn't obviously know the torrid
details because I don't think it'll make them any less true. Cheating is still
bad. Elena crossed the line. My heart isn't hers anymore. When her name is
brought up I shudder now. Not because of the good times, because of what a
coward she was when I confronted her. The look in her eyes of someone I once
loved and would anything for, shatter into a million pieces before me. I don't
like that memory. Those were the roughest moments of my life.
Elena was my past. And Eva, she can't be my future. She just can't. I just
don't believe in going through that all over again. My heart can't handle the
craziness of it all. Falling in love; it's just too hard to keep up with.
Getting all my frustration out through a good shag, this is what needs to
happen. As wrong as it sounds. When it's just sex, it means nothing. You find
someone attractive and boom, frustration, break up weight comes out. I had
shagged a few girls after Elena, out of agony, I was just too angry to confront
the real monster. That guy stays locked away where no one can see him. No one.
Except Eva.
I put on a brave smile and told my mum things were going to be just fine. Life
is hard but we'll get through it as we do. As anyone can do. We can't just give
up.
I gave my mum a strong hug and kissed her cheek. We said our goodnights and she
left me to myself for the night. I felt ok suddenly. Maybe things weren't going
to be so bad after all. Tomorrow's the last day of school for this week.
Looking forward to that. It's not going to be perfect but it's just going be
alright. I'll survive it. Just like we do in this family.
I wondered about Eva in this moment. I couldn't help myself. Jeez, I can't go 5
minutes without her entering my thoughts in some way. I have to control this
need to grasp onto her every second of my day. But she consumed it. She was a
part of me that I really couldn't suppress the harder I tried. I don't know
what it is about her that draws me in so much. Her beauty is insurmountable to
the aura she creates.
God listen to me, I sound like a poet. Why the fuck do I think this way when
it's her? Do I love her? Is it that simple?
I stood up from my bed in the dark walking toward the window. I was about to
shut it when I caught the light in Eva's room. It was dim and grainy but still
obvious to illuminate the entire room. She had some reading glasses on with a
book in front of her face. She looked hungry. The expression over her features
was so concentrated I could probably stare at her all night. Risk my sleep,
risk my sanity just to look at her.
Eva Davies shouldn't make me feel this way. Not me. I don't deserve love. Not
after Elena. Loving my family is enough, caring for a person is what I do best.
I can't be anything more. I won't.
I wasn't made to be loved. Elena made sure of that. I wasn't enough, and I'll
never be for any girl. Sure I carry my outer bravado with confidence, my brawny
demeanor. I still had my charm and intrigue, but love, that's something for
adults. People that need it more than me. Eva can't love me and I am trying
desperately not to fall deeply, rapidly and passionately in love with her. God,
this is too hard. I find it a challenge to turn back and go to bed now.
I can't escape myself, who I really am. Maybe Elena was wrong. She hurt me so
terribly and I know I haven't gotten over everything. I think I may never.
Could I be though? Am I meant for all these feelings again?
I am only 17 years old. Jesus man, I'm so young. How is it that I feel so
strongly about one person? Does she suspect anything? I glanced at the clock,
it read passed 1am. Too late. I knew it was too damn late to dwell over this
anymore. Eva pulls me awake. All I want to do is be around her, watch her,
protect her, and make sure she's treated properly. But I can't see that
happening with any guy out there.
There is no one. Can we be friends? That's the problem, we can't. Because I
really, truly want to be the only guy who loves her.
She turned the page of the book and tucked away some hair that fell into her
eyes. Yeah, I do want to be the one for her.
I turned back to my bed and grabbed my phone, setting it to charge. I scrolled
down the pictures, far back until I found what I was looking for.
I stared at the picture for no more than 2 seconds before I brought up the
delete button. Goodbye Elena. I pushed it, relaxing suddenly. It's actually
over. Fully moving on, it starts here and right now.
***** Chapter 31 *****
Eva's POV
I winced, grabbing my forehead before dragging my half awake body out of bed. I
was feeling so anxious last night I had to read myself to sleep. It was
something I did when I had trouble shutting my eyes and drifting off. It always
worked. The book slid off my chest just now before I caught it, placing it on
the night stand.
I'm up now, all is OK, except this weird headache I felt going into the
bathroom to get ready. I stepped inside the shower turning the water warmer
than usual. I don't have a hangover thank god. No drinks for Eva for a while.
Least until I figure out how to hold my liquor. Stick to sodas and wine
coolers. I have better things to worry about though.
After I took my time scrubbing myself clean, I stepped out wrapping my body and
hair in the towels I laid out. I felt like a zombie but I had to force myself
to wake up. What day was it? Friday? Oh yeah, last day of the week. Time yet
again to pretend I care about Algebra, Chemistry, History and English. The four
horses of the academic apocalypse. It wasn't completely the sixth circle of
hell. Drama I do love so it doesn't count. I can actually quit school if I want
to. Our state actually has a rule, by law actually if you go to school up to
age 16, it's not required to finish.
I've done OK so far; managed to not get distracted all those years. I swear if
the plastic clan or anyone at school knew I had learning problems that will
probably be the end of me. Thankfully nobody suspects anything and is probably
too busy obsessing about what song Selena Gomez is going to lip-sync live next.
I once overhead Debbie and the lackeys squealing about some shitty concert up
in Anaheim. Because they have such wonderful taste in music anyway, it's no
excuse for me to forget the name they were yammering on about.
After I picked out a reasonably decent ensemble I ran a brush through my damp
locks. Fuck it. I ran back into the bathroom, took out my straightener and went
to town on this idea I had.
When I was finished I looked in the mirror, my lips curved up real nicely. I
put on some make up, a rarity for me. My ultra-rouge lip-gloss and dabbed on a
few other things to really make this look work. I wasn't too bad at this as I
looked into the mirror giving a final once over. I really loved my hair like
this and shrugged as I turned around like a runway model. Nice, I like. I
should do this more often.
I grabbed my favorite trademark jacket and trotted downstairs gasping slightly.
Anne Styles and my dad were together, sitting and having breakfast. Um…What?
Ok, what to do? The room was a tad too depressing from the looks of the
discussion. Annie's face looked deeply concentrated, like she was extremely
worried about something, or someone.
"Has he always been this way?"
"Not since—oh Eva. Good morning sweetheart." Anne's sullen expression changed
to bright instantly. She smiled when she saw me.
I grew very nervous all of a sudden. I felt like the spotlight was on me and
they were waiting for me to say something.
"Hello." How awkward. This was worse than when I had to recite a monologue for
the 5th grade.
My dad looked between the two of us but he stared at me the longest. What was I
supposed to say? I cleared my throat and tried again.
"Good morning Anne. Sorry um, just coming to get breakfast. Don't mind me." I
smiled briefly and scurried around the table and back toward the kitchen cubby.
"Eva, what's going on? What is it that you're wearing?" Dad asked from the
table. I could hear the irritated tone he used so I tried to play it cool,
smooth. Like a hipster.
As I served myself the usual breakfast fixings I tried to sound as normal as
possible. "It's a present from De. She gave it to me last Christmas."
I almost started to go to the living room to eat quickly until I was summoned
by my dad.
"Sweetie, come and sit. It's OK to sit at the table." He gestured.
I bit my lip and drank most of my OJ. Not this. I don't even know what's going
on. I walked into this weirdness and I just want to get out.
"Dad, um I may be late for school. I slept in."
He got up from the table. Uh oh. He's coming toward me now. Relax Evie. It may
not be so bad. OK then why is he wearing the serious stare?
He took my hand and I knew I was going to be coerced into this. I rolled my
eyes and reached for my plate, sitting in the empty chair near Anne. I blew a
long strand of hair from my eyes. I'm not very good at going against my dad. I
wish I had more skills in that area. Shit balls.
"Evie we were just talking about the weekend. You and Harry ought to do
something fun since Anne has to be out of town too and Robin will be working
late."
"Dad…" I paused, biting my lip. I dropped my fork in almost disgust. I didn't
mean for it to be so loud. I looked at Anne. It wasn't her fault her son
doesn't know what he wants. I was done trying to figure him out.
My dad held a look. Shit. Now I was in trouble.
"Evalyn, come on now. I really don't want you planning trips without my
permission. Anne tells me you and Harry are really good friends. I think its
best he comes over like yesterday and you guys will stay together."
I stuffed some eggs into my mouth and forced myself to chew and swallow. I felt
defeated now. Harry Styles wins every time. I am so tired of his games and it's
about time I really start to move on with Louis. But why does my dad favor
Harry so much? He's never cared this much about pushing me to be around a guy.
What makes Harry such a trustworthy, special person?
He sure as hell isn't better than Louis. One thing's for sure, Louis never
played fucked up games with me or my feelings. I hated how much this guy
bothered me, how he really got in my head. All that bull shit intensity I
thought was…something was really just a fog.
Plus look at who he calls friends? Fake asshats and everyone who isn't in their
elk are secretly plotting to murder them. Harry is just wrong on all levels. I
am tired of this guy already. I'm bored with all the bull shit.
"Dad, I know like-" He cleared his throat. "I'm just saying I'm sure he has
plans. He's got other friends. I can totally handle a weekend by myself. I'm
going to be 17 soon."
I smiled at my best performance yet. My dad shared another long look with Anne.
Damn it. I didn't want to upset anyone. I stuffed more food in my mouth to keep
from talking back. My dad's eyes were making me feel really terrible. Why
should I? I really didn't want to be around Harry anymore. No fucking way.
"Evalyn, Harry is coming over here. End of discussion. Now, you have to hurry
up and finish because he's waiting outside to take you to school."
Not again! "But dad, Lou—"
"No Eva, finish and go." I didn't need to lift my head to see the searing look
in his eyes pinning me in my position. I had no choice. He turned his attention
back to Anne, his eyes softening and I swore he reached out to hold her hand.
Huh?
His eyes shifted back to me, I felt remorse for arguing with him. His eyes were
soft and all he did was nod his head, maybe he didn't want to lash out in front
of Anne.
I rarely disobeyed my dad, he was a pretty lenient parent but when he set rules
I had to just zip up and do what he says. Harry wins again! What the fuck? Why
don't I ever get a say in anything?
I stood up, picked up my half-eaten plate and rinsed off the remainder of the
food contents in the sink. Suddenly I wasn't hungry. My mood was drenched in
depression. I downed my OJ though. I felt venom crawl through me the minute
Harry's face came to mind. Why? I should not be this angry but I was. Now I had
no choice.
I walked over and hugged my dad to which he just waved back. But Anne, she
pulled me into a big bear hug that made my eyes pop out. Dad looked at us
without reacting. What was going on here? I pulled away when she did,
swallowing awkwardly. Wow, I don't know what just happened. Anne smiled and
said have a good day at school.
I shook my head at that. Was not expecting any of this from her. I think the
Styles' may have some big secret going on that they're keeping hidden. Harry
especially. It's not my problem.
Louis is taking me to school. Harry isn't. It's my life, nobody is going to
make me ride with a guy that I can't physically stand to be around.
I fixed myself up, reapplied and sent a text to Louis. I know it was late but I
still wanted to try and catch him. I never got a text from him this morning but
I didn't think about it too much. He was probably just rushing to get out. His
mom is a bit overbearing. One time I saw Louis roll his eyes as he was running
to his car, I was worried he was going to fall down.
I finally finished everything, called out to my dad and swung open the door,
ready to bolt. I crashed into a body so hard then I fell down over whoever it
was.
"Don't go falling over me now love, there's no rush." Harry's deep chuckle
forced me to leap up from the ground, holding my forehead.
"Not now. Jesus Harry." I ignored Harry's hand to help me and helped myself. I
wobbled nearly falling down but Harry's arms caught me. "Ugh, please, I don't
need this."
"I could drop you if I wanted. But I won't." I pulled out of his hold but he
held me there. "Because you don't want me to."
The huskiness dripping from his voice was making me dizzy.
"What I want is to be left alone." I huffed, removing my fingers from his
strength. "Harry, let go."
He sighed, deep and saccharine moans followed. I licked my lips, the flavored
gloss making this moment sweeter than I wanted it to.
He finally let me go and I rubbed my wrists, standing up straight. My chin was
firmly in the air and my confidence returning slowly.
"Have a nice day at school, asshole." I turned passed him, walking fast down
the pathway closer to Louis' place when I felt footsteps coming closer to me.
"Eva, come on." Harry grumbled. "Look, would you stop for a second?" He panted
and ran up to me. I wasn't about to let him.
I didn't want temptation staring me in the face anymore. I may not be strong
enough to resist. I have to. I saw Harry's eyes just now and I refused to
believe anything has changed.
"Go away."
"No."
I glanced at him briefly. "You are such an insufferable asshole."
"Ugh, stop being a pain in the arse Eva. Get in the car with me so we both can
go to class."
"No thank you." I stepped ahead a bit, throwing him off but he caught up
quickly with his long legs. Fuck him. "I have a ride."
"Your ride is with me." He stated firmly, catching up. He was so close but I
was nearing to where I wanted.
"No it's not, look—" I pointed but stopped. Louis' car wasn't parked in the
usual spot. In fact it was nowhere in sight. I hadn't realized I was this close
to his house and I didn't pay attention to that big ass detail.
I groaned, took out my phone and dialed his digits. No answer. Fuck, fuck,
fuck! I was out of breath too. Shit. I really need to calm down or I'm going to
faint.
"You were saying?" He laughed slightly. I still made a message on his voice
mail and sent him another text. "Eva, stop this. He isn't here. Let's go."
"I am not going anywhere with you." I stared at him with rage in my eyes. I
never saw so much red in my life.
De was the last option or I was going to be a sitting duck. I sent her an SOS
text. She never answers her phone in the mornings so I opted out of that. This
was my last chance.
"Put your pride or whatever phony girl rage you have for me aside and let me
take you to school." He said seriously. Wait what? Harry is not serious.
And not all of this was manufactured. Most of it was real. Harry confused me.
If I'm around him long enough I'm just going to feel clobbered with extremely
complex questions. Nothing made sense right now.
I shoved him hard and ran as far as my legs can carry me to the bus stop; the
sanctuary. De had to come for me. I couldn't do this; I can't be around Harry,
praying that things were going to change.
"Eva, are you fucking crazy? Slow down, god." Harry's breathing raced. His long
legs making me hate him for following me so close.
"Stay away from me Harry. Please I'm begging you." I was nearly emotional to
the point where I was begging him or I knew I was going to crumble.
I had to stop him now. I stopped running and turned around, Harry crashed into
me but he held me against his body. Both of us breathing ravenously and I felt
his lips brush against mine, silently missing how they felt.
"Be with me Eva. Don't be afraid." He whispered, his breath perfumed my face.
My legs gave out and then my entire body shut down immediately.
***** Chapter 32 *****
Harry's POV
Eva's limp body fell in my arms before I could say more. I so wanted to. Wow,
this reaction was…I don't know what it was…a take one I guess.
I carried her gently over my shoulder, her small back pack still attached
loosely to her back. I took it off while she laid completely blacked out in my
arms and swung it over one shoulder.
I lifted her body more securely, trying to focus on walking toward my car. Her
breathing was so calm and her glossy pillow-like lips were parted. I tried not
to look at her face as much as I reached for the car door, carefully though,
trying ever so hard not to disturb her. I didn't know how deal with this so I
tried doing everything slowly. I leaned her body over my free shoulder as I
opened the door, placing her reposed, relaxed frame in the passenger seat; her
bag in the back seat. I wanted her legs to be free when she came to.
I was so worried. I've never seen anyone faint like that before. She looked as
if she was in a state of extreme shock. My words did her in. They were big
words. If she woke up would she remember anything or forget? I didn't know.
Gazing at her once more my eyes smoothly traced the fine lines and soft curves
of her features. Her mouth was closed, but not tightly. Her chest rising and
falling with each fluid breath she took. I watched everything, scanning her
face, trying to find a flaw. I really couldn't.
The second I looked into her eyes I was addicted. She was my obsession. I
couldn't shake her the more I tried to. My feelings grew more intense every
second I'm around her. It wasn't anything that she did its just something that
just happened. It's strange; I never thought it would so soon. I shut my heart
out of a lot of things.
I secured the seat belt over her body, trying not to look at her so much. I
forced myself to look away and shut the door gently, leaning against it.
Prying my body off I made my way to the front seat, trying to be as quiet as I
could with the door. She was still silent as a mouse. She must have really been
heavily knocked out. All because of what I told her. Maybe it was too soon to
say any of that but I didn't care anymore. Who knows how far Louis went with
her? It actually scared me to think about what they were doing with each other.
I hated thinking about it. My hands curled up in tight fists before I touched
the wheel. I eased up when I remembered to calm down.
I turned on the engine, shaking my head at the loud noise as I pulled out of
the neighborhood finally. I barely focused on the road to school, too much was
going on and I needed to control my emotions. She was lying next to me,
harmless and completely helpless. I wanted so badly to wake her up and confess
everything, touch her, be with her, but I needed to be patient.
Trying so hard now to concentrate on driving when I heard a vibration from the
backseat. I glanced behind quickly. It sounded off again until I saw Eva's
mobile lit up and shaking uncontrollably in the water pouch. I kept my eyes on
the road but still reached in the back for the phone. I felt in the direction
and grabbed it up. I didn't know who it was and I didn't care. Still I found my
eyes looking at the screen, switching off the ringtone and vibration right
away. I was a bit curious who'd be calling her now, so early too.
I hoped it wasn't who I thought it was. I checked anyway.
From: Louis (4 messages) (2 voice mails)
Wow, this bloke doesn't know when to quit. He's not right for her, she's not
the right fit for anyone, especially this guy. I had a bad feeling about him
from the beginning. Yes I'm jealous but I care for her as a friend and I know
his type. He's playing her like a fiddle.
I silenced her phone skillfully and browsed through the messages, growing more
furious as I read them all attempting to still keep an eye on the road.
Louis: Babe! Pick up! I had to get Liam and his mates early. Sorry about that!
:(
Louis: Yeah, sorry I didn't come get you, really. Liam and I had a big fight
today. Ring or text me to let me know you're ok. I'm so sorry babe! :(
Louis: I'm having a really shit day and I'm feeling like a jerk. Please answer.
I'm sorry for this morning. Forgive?
Louis: Babe, shit, I know you're mad at me. I get it but please answer me :/ I
left you several messages, I felt like an asshole for leaving you….
You are an asshole and she sure as shit isn't your babe. She's with me and I'll
make sure you don't go anywhere near her. I highlighted the messages on her
screen, deleting them all. I hid the voice mails so she won't see the alerts.
Another act, another manipulation. I couldn't stand this guy anymore than I can
throw him. He's too slick and it irritated me. Drama people always had an
agenda. They rarely had girlfriends in my school because they knew how to play
girls. They were actors, the best liars. Louis was good at this game but I'm
not going to let her be played by this guy.
Even if she's scared of me now, I couldn't trust her with Louis. But in truth,
I don't know how she feels. Hopefully I'll know when she wakes up.
Right now I probably would have tuned the radio to angry punk rock but I don't
want her to wake up only to be shocked again. So I tuned on some calming
classical. This stuff was so shit to listen to but maybe it might help me calm
down too. Seeing those texts from Louis made my hands tighten on the wheel. I
tried my best not to clench my teeth and take deep calming breaths before I did
anything stupid.
I glanced at Eva, her face still holding that relaxed expression she almost
looked childlike. I wanted to touch her, make her feel safe. Do whatever I can
to make her mine.
It's not that easy I guess. I forced my eyes back on the road and looked to the
rest of the way to school. I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to be
rational. We both need to go to school; it was the last day of the first week.
Deep breaths Harry. Wow, still can't believe this is only day five. I met Eva
Davies five days ago. I didn't think I'd ever go through anything this dramatic
with someone. I truly did not expect getting on with anyone in this place being
the new kid. Or having friends. Not by Eva's standards but it's better than
driving off somewhere and eating lunch alone.
I realized I still had her phone in my hand. I turned it off and placed it back
in the side pouch. I made sure to look at her again. I didn't want her seeing
me do this for obvious reasons. But I had to. I just don't want her to get
hurt. Someone needs to protect her and this guy Louis had heartbreak all over
him.
I turned down the music as I neared the campus. That was fast. I barely noticed
how short that ride really was. I pulled into a vacant parking spot and shut
off the engine.
It was deathly silent until I thought I heard something.
Moans came from next to me. "Mmm, what—whoa, what…?" Eva paused, her eyes
blinking several times before stretching out. "Argh, why does my head hurt?"
I licked my dry lips unsure of what to do; I was stuck as she began to sit up
straighter, her long dark hair falling in her eyes.
"Are you alright?" Her head instantly turned on me. I felt spotted. "Babe, are
you OK?"
She seemed spaced out, her words were mumbled, her eyes wondering. "Hmm Harry,
oh my god we're at school! Shit I'm going to be late."
She said in a huff looking around with a wild gaze in her eyes. I didn't think
she'd have so much energy out of nowhere.
"Where's my bag?" She looked around and unbuckled when she spotted it. She
turned around but I stopped her.
She looked at me confused. "What?"
"Um, maybe you should calm down a bit. You were out for a long time. I uh, you
should take it slow." I suggested.
She grabbed up her bag looking for something, completely ignoring me. "I don't
want to be late Harry. I'll fail this semester and I can't have that happen."
I watched her snatch her phone up, turning it on. I prayed that asshole didn't
leave anymore messages.
Her face fell when her main screen came to view. She threw her phone back her
bag and crossed her arms. I hate that even when she's angry it's turning me on.
"You know…I said something before. Do you remember any of it?" I asked, trying
to push back the nerves.
She unfolded her arms staring at me, an eyebrow raised. "What? I don't get it.
What did you say?"
I wondered if I ought to tell her, she seemed so angry about not hearing back
from Louis, I was curious if this would change anything. If she actually felt
the same.
"Harry?"
"What?"
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"What?" I repeated.
She smiled, almost started to laugh. "You look like you want to say something."
You have no idea. I looked at the time. 2 classes missed already. OK Harry, get
it together you pussy. Take what's yours.
"Eva…I—" I watched her watch me; she was leaning on every word. What am I so
afraid of? "We should," I stammered. This wasn't going good at all.
Her eyes turned soft and I reached out and pushed some hair from her face, my
fingertips touching her lips as I pulled my hand back.
Her eyes did a dance. Oh no. What's going on now? She gasped, backing up
against the window. I braced myself for what was next.
"I-I, oh my god. Did you?"
I sighed, pulling away from this girl. This was going to be ripe challenge. She
obviously likes Louis. What the fuck am I doing anymore?
Pulling back on my seat, I unlocked the doors. "Balls in your court love."
From the corner of my eye I saw her lick her lips. She remembered, it was too
obvious. Her reaction was not the one I wanted.
"You asked me to be you with, did you Harry?" I felt my hand being touched but
flinched away.
I shouldn't have said anything, now I'm fucked. "Yeah…as if it means anything."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
I didn't want this to go on further. Shit. I can't get rejected, not now. Elena
was the last person to do this to me.
"Forget it. It's obvious you don't feel the same."
I began to unlock the door, going to the back to get her school bag. I know she
was watching me but fuck it, I wasn't going to be embarrassed by anyone. I had
friends. I didn't need this.
I didn't need her.
She came out of the other side before I could open the door and stepped up to
me.
"What about Debbie? You belong to her now…"
I held out her bag for her and she didn't take it, my patience was wearying
thin. I did not have time for this. Sacrificing school for someone who just
wants to fight with me? No thanks. I placed her bag beside her, the gentleman I
am and she just looked at me confused.
I locked my car, taking my bag up on my shoulder. "I belong to me. She isn't my
girlfriend."
Eva struggled to swallow. Her face squinted and she walked closer to me as I
began to back away.
"Louis would never be friends with those people. He's better than that. But if
you want to hang out with them then it's fine. Just leave me out of it."
I see how it is. This is the last fucking straw. I turned around and pushed her
body against my car, grinding the erection I knew was growing beneath my
trousers, letting her aware of every fucking thing she does to me.
"You drive me bloody crazy love. Do you hear me? Do you feel that?" I pushed my
hard cock against her body, watching her breath stifle each time I grind
myself.
"Yes…I feel it. But Harry, you, uh—" Her breathy voice came out as a reminder
of the control I still had over her.
I leaned down, kissing a spot under her ear. My teeth nibbling on her lobe,
feeling her shiver as her hands grabbed a fistful of my curls.
"Don't fight it. Don't fight me." I kissed spots on her cheek slowly until I
reached her mouth, not kissing it just yet. "I lied, I don't belong to me. I
belong to you."
I genuinely smiled. With that I pulled away, giving her something to think
about as I made my way to class.
When I came around the corner of the science building I spotted the vending
machine in the back near the lunchroom. I got a drink and turned around, making
sure the coast was clear when I found my way to my locker. Eva wouldn't be
there so I chanced it. Success, she wasn't. That was my green light to run over
and get my stuff. I put the bottle I just bought in my bag and searched for the
book I needed for the next class. When I got what I needed I shut my locker
carefully and turned around.
My body was shoved hard against the lockers, Louis' face coming into full view.
"How do you doing mate? Better not be shagging anything that's mine." Louis
spat in my face, smirking.
I have ten times more strength than this wanker and gave him a good shove off
watching him stumble back. I almost laughed at how pathetic this was. Best be
on my way. I made a move to walk away but I followed with a comment.
"Who I'm shagging doesn't belong to you anyway. Sod off."
I saw his friends behind him. One of them looked worried and the other one
looked to be about Louis' bodyguard if I threw out punches.
"Stay away from Eva." Louis punched me roughly in the stomach, making me double
over in pain, then by sheer surprise he kicked me again in the same spot.
I know what he's on. He wants to fight with me. He knows I'll get expelled if I
retaliate. I'm not gonna play into his game.
"Lou, let's go. I saw Grady come around the quad." One of them, the worried one
said. I saw him; he looked less like a trouble maker than Louis.
I managed to pick myself back up only to be slammed a second time by Louis.
"This isn't over. What's mine stays mine, or else. Enjoy your day you fucked up
tosser." He actually spat on my face and I flinched back.
He let me go and I fell to the ground. I collected myself again feeling a
slight pain where I was hit. I'd roughed up blokes like Louis in the past, but
never again. Fighting will just make things worse. I'm not going to be a bully
back. Eva means more to me than that. He doesn't scare me. I've taken worst
hits than this.
I slowly went to the bathroom to wash my hands and face and looked into the
mirror. I examined my torso, a bruise was already beginning to form. I was
determined now.
I have to keep him away from her. By any means.
***** Chapter 33 *****
Eva's POV
Gym time over. Thank god. I had dance class now and I reeked of sweat just
dying for a shower. Thank god the class just flew by and the locker room was
practically empty by the time I left the auditorium. Alana and Bo always made
it a habit to try and sabotage me by any means, whether its mean girls
snickering during my dance routine or the time they stuck their press-on nails
in the my locker so it was impossible for me to open. Bullies. Today was no
different. I went up to dance with my group and Bo poured baby oil near the
area I danced in and I fell flat on my butt. I fell so hard my brain closed off
and I wanted to die as the people in class gawked and pointed. To make it worse
the teacher got mad at me, imagine that? I had to stay after class to do extra
exercises which made me late for lunch.
I don't understand why they keep doing these things. I want no part of their
petty, plastic group because I know they will never let up. They just wanted
another lackey if I joined their pathetic tribe.
Debbie was the worst. She spread this rumor that I was a lesbian last year at
the Halloween dance and that was the main reason I was a virgin. She also said
I looked like ET with my small, petite body, large eyes and big head. This is
where Evie turned into ET.
Debbie was such a stereotype that I didn't bother fighting back. I had a second
thought to go tell Grady about all the bull shit but this school has a
reputation for ignoring stuff such as personal matters between students. Our
parents (or in my case parent) would have been called in. I would have been
grounded, my fault or not. The teachers who don't give two shits would have
pretended to care by slowly nodding their head, all the while thinking of the
next time they can smoke again.
It would have been a disaster so I opted out and chose to ignore them. Today
wasn't as bad as I thought. Sometimes I think Debbie has been purposely
following me around the school since I first came here.
My locker wasn't messed with thank the lord. I saw Debbie and Alana leave early
yammering on their stupid phones, squealing about some Austin Mahone tickets
and they were gonna make some grand announcement at lunch period. I really
doubt that. It won't be that elaborate. Debbie is dumber than a box of rocks,
she's all about attention and she never goes about anything in the normal way.
It's always some stupid crap most of the school can't stand and doesn't have
the balls to stop.
Whatever, I'm done with those stuffed training bras. One of these days someone
will finally stand up to her but that's not my job.
I know she'll continue to do things like today that will make me fucking tense
but I'll just be the bigger person and rise above it. Though I have rage built
up in my fist every time this shit happens. I still have to be wise about what
I do. Thank god Debbie doesn't know about my dyslexia, she would go to
Disneyland with that all the way. You have no idea what it's like for me having
to deal with this learning impairment. Living with it along with all the other
problems an average teenage girl faces.
I grabbed some large towels from the coach's closet and set them on the bench
between the long lockers. Balls, I hated being the last one out from
everything. I remember Debbie pulled this really shitty prank on me sophomore
year when she'd switched my shampoo bottle out for pink Halloween dye. I
remembered I had to wear a beanie hat the rest of that day. The dye was so
smelly and strong that it soaked through the hat and basically everyone called
me pinky. I know that sounds cute when you think about it, but really, it was
hell in a hand basket.
I thought of doing something similar to her, ignite some Scorpio revenge on her
ass, my patience reached the breaking point, but I never have the balls to do
it. Call me weak or a dumb ass for not doing it sooner. I guess I don't have
the energy to stoop so low. I mean, someone like Harry could never be
ridiculed. Seriously, the man is pure god; he practically owned this school in
the first damn week. I was a little green, not gonna lie here. Harry was
popular, that was in my hands at one point. A major pass, no regrets, and
still, did I envy him completely? Shit, I don't know how to answer that. If it
means always having to watch my back just in case some asshole refuses to
respect my opinion no matter what, not being judged for how much money I have,
what kind of clothes I choose to wear and my individual persona? I am so glad I
made the decision to walk away.
But Harry. As I prepped for the shower it reminded me of a few days ago, the
laundry room, the way Harry touched me. The first time I've been touched that
way, my first real kiss, shit, Harry was a bunch of firsts for me. I liked him.
I did, I can't front about that but I worry about Debbie's intentions now.
What Harry said earlier about not being her boyfriend, OK I believed him and he
wouldn't lie would he? But I know Debbie; she'll stop at nothing until she gets
whatever she thinks belong to her. I wanted to protect Harry before she tries
anything skivvy with him. She so would. She's like that Adrian girl in The
Secret Life of the American Teenager. Man what a terrible show that is.
I worried about Harry, I couldn't help it but I was paranoid when he wasn't
with me. Who was with him? Who was hurting him? Who was manipulating him? Weird
questions popped out as I stripped off my gym clothes and placed them neatly
near the towel on the bench.
I turned the water on, adjusting it so it was just perfect. Ah, this is more
like it now. I closed my eyes in the feeling. All that's missing is someone
near me, touching me in ways like those adult novels I like to read in secret.
What always happens is the girl in the story is taken by surprise. I thought of
Harry moving my arms to wrap around his neck as his fingers started to touch
me, knowing the exact place to get me off. Shit, I started to feel steamier
than the water now. Jesus, I dunked my head under the shower finally my entire
body was all wet, grabbing for the body wash and soap.
Shit, I gotta get over this obsession for Harry. Debbie will try everything to
get him; I should forfeit whatever chance I thought I had with him.
I know he said he wanted to be with me, but he signed a contract with those
phonies he calls friends at school. It's not Harry's fault. Why would he choose
me anyway? All I have is Delilah, who is the greatest human being alive but I
have a feeling Harry would have still wanted a big group of friends. Not like
Louis. I really like how Louis doesn't care what people think, I envied that
about him. Bo and Alana tried to ask him out several times through their bull
shit parties at PE but he would made up some excuse and declined their offers.
Louis was always my favorite person. I just adored him. He wouldn't hurt a fly.
That's good, keep thinking about Louis. I feel horrible for not riding with him
this morning but then again, I was so upset to see he never returned my calls.
Maybe he was having a bad day, like me. I just wanted to find him, tell him
he's forgiven and that I understand. Because I did. It's the first week of
school and things are normally so hectic. So much has happened already I just
want to relax and take a shower, a long one. Hopefully I might skip 7th period,
I know dad would find out but today, right now, I don't think I have the energy
to finish the rest of the school day. I am ready for the week to be over
frankly. No more drama please?
I rinsed off all the soap from my body, standing under the steaming hot water,
closing my eyes. Nice, this is where I sometimes daydream. I miss Harry, I wish
he was here right now, despite Debbie ruining everything. Where is he?
"You are so bloody beautiful." Holy shit, stop imagining Harry's voice already.
Louis, he's the guy you should be picturing.
I opened my eyes and gasped.
Holy fucks. It really was Harry, standing with his hand on the curtain moving
it to peak at me fully naked. I covered my body; a huge blush crept over my
entire body. I could feel blood running everywhere.
His green eyes were transfixed where my hands were covering, shit. I know he's
already seen me nude before but right now I wasn't expecting it. His eyes
traveled to my face as he pushed back the curtain to reveal he was only in his
boxers. I tried not to look down. I knew his hard on was pushing through the
slit hole of his shorts.
I found my voice after all the shock settled in. "Harry what are you doing
here? This is the girls' locker room."
He just smirked at me, unfazed by my distress. Or rather, undress. "I know." He
licked his lips moving the curtain. Did he think he was going to actually come
inside?
Huh? I rolled my eyes still covering my body as I reached for the curtain but
he held onto it. "Let go."
I had my hand over my breasts. I couldn't cover the other part of me for
obvious reasons. He moved the curtain stronger this time, pushing his way with
force in the shower, looking down at me like he was a lion and I was his prey.
I shivered; my body was cold even under the steaming water. I didn't know what
he was going to do, he scared me right now. The wild look in his eye was
throwing me off; he managed to get wet himself, his curls drenched under the
show head. He moved my body against the tile of the shower. I felt trapped. Now
what?
"You know, I should have done this when we first met. Can you believe it was
only a few days ago? Feels like a long time love." Harry's voice was deeper
than usual.
"Harry," my voice was coming out more breathy than I intended. "You can't be
here. You'll get kicked out."
He said nothing to that. I was sure I saw him grin before he dove for my neck,
kissing water droplets and licking around the curve of my neck. I could hear
all of the sounds his lips were making and it was actually making me more
turned on than anything else. I griped his biceps, fuck, work out much? Good
god, this guy was a kid in a man's body. He stopped and moved his lips in front
of my face. Our lips were so close to touching. He held my eyes with a passion
I don't remember seeing before. Made me look closer to make sure I saw it
right.
"You won't let that happen baby." He nuzzled my nose with his pressing his lips
on my cheeks. Fuck, I could feel my body shake as I begun to relax. I held onto
to him in case I fell.
He kissed along my jaw while he laced our fingers together and placed them
above my head. The tip of his cock nudging between my slit, my eyes opened
wide. Fuck, did I want to do this? With Harry? Oh my god, did he? Was he aware
of his cock nearly going inside me?
"Harry…please, can't um, hmm, mmm, I can't do this here. No…Harry!" I shouted
now. "No, I can't do this."
I forced all my will power to make him to stop. I wasn't sure if I could. But I
knew I had to stop him.
He looked at me, his green eyes held a darker filling now, oh god. I feared
what's to come next. He still held me but stopped kissing me as soon as I made
an outburst. I nearly pushed him off of me but I didn't want to scream. Then
someone definitely might catch us.
I backed away from him and went under the water, rinsing my body, placing my
hand on his chest when he came toward me.
"Eva I'm sorry. I got…I am sorry." I ignored him and rinsed my hair, trying to
rinse any of him that rubbed off on me.
I couldn't dislike him. We got carried away again, at school, once again. Why
is it always at school he wants to do all these private things?
"I told you I can't do that. I'm sorry but I'm not Debbie, I'm not experienced
or anything. Go back to them if you want that." I spat and finished rinsing my
hair while Harry just stared at me with those big eyes of his.
He looked sincere and that's what sucked. Part of me was thinking he's just
horny. Harry obviously wanted a girl who will put out right away. OK I'm crazy
I know, not too long ago I was the one who suggested the friends with benefits
crap but that idea got shot down because I knew I'd fall for him, just like
now. With the way he's looking at me, he made it so easy to love him.
But that wasn't enough. I wanted a boyfriend. I wanted to date and be with
someone. I can't have my first time be with a guy I just desire, especially if
that guy is desired by other girls who are out for blood. Eva never gets the
guy. On second thought, Louis deserves a chance. I am not canceling him out so
fast.
I made my way to exit the shower when Harry gently grabbed my arm.
"I'm sorry Eva. You're such a beautiful girl; I got overwhelmed by all of it.
I'm a guy, I apologize. And for the record, I don't want anyone but you."
I heard some words but god damn I didn't believe them. "Harry, if this is true
then stop hanging out with my enemy." No beating around the bush any longer.
It's me or his "friends."
He let me go and I nodded pulling the shower curtain aside to grab my towel,
wrapping it around my dripping wet body.
"You want me to stop having friends?"
How can anyone be friends with that crowd? Harry is so misinformed.
I didn't turn around so I grabbed my clothes and bag and began to dress quickly
under the towel.
"Didn't say that." I grumbled.
I felt his eyes on me and turned around, I knew he was watching me but his eyes
looked concerned all of a sudden. I saw them soften when he moved closer to me
and looked at the back of my thigh.
He pointed at it. "Who did this?"
Just another day in being me. More specifically Bo since I actually saw her
holding the baby oil.
"Nobody did it. I was clumsy and fell."
"You fell? Did you trip?" Harry was just being extra CSI with all these
questions.
"Yeah…" I placed the rest of my clothes on. I knew he was watching but I wasn't
going to let him stop me.
"Someone trip you love?"
Tears brimmed in my eyes and I pushed my hair in my way to conceal it. Fuck,
let's not get deep here. I tripped and fell. Baby goes to bed. I will not lose
my shit over years of repressed bullying. People just don't care about knowing
my problems.
"No…" my voice broke. I knew it was unconvincing. Shit. Why can't I be a robot
now of all times? Then he would go away and I wouldn't feel like such a baby.
I looked at the corner of eye and Harry was dressed already. Wow that was fast.
I quickly wiped my eyes but he caught me.
"Who did it Eva? The truth now."
I bit my lip, a pained expression I couldn't control anymore spread across my
face. Harry came over closer, with each inch closing in I found it harder to
lie.
"Its OK, there's nothing you can do about it anyway." I tried to throw him off
but the look on his face was telling me he wasn't buying it. "Let's drop it."
"Was it Louis?" I looked at Harry's large hands, his knuckles turning white
from the strong fist he was making.
I shook my head, Louis would never hurt me. Harry wouldn't either. I have two
guys who care for me. Louis and Harry. This is so fucked up I don't even want
to make a decision anymore.
Sitting down on the bench I folded my arms together as my damp, tangled hair
swung in my eyes. I just wanted to hide. I didn't want to talk about anything.
Nobody fucking gets it.
I felt Harry sit down so close to me I could feel his leg touching mine. Harry
was being so quiet it was almost like he was waiting for me to talk.
But I didn't want to. I covered my eyes and lunged forward suddenly balling my
emotions out. Everything was coming out. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want
to negotiate. I just wanted to cry. I hated crying. It physically hurt me to
cry so hard. I was so engulfed in this sudden emotional state that I barely
felt Harry's hand touch my back so gently. He started rubbing it now. Not
saying anything just being there for me.
I wiped my eyes and uncovered my face to calm down finally. I stared forward
saying nothing; he said nothing watching me intently.
"I don't want you to see me like this, please." I begged him. Harry is so well-
known now; he's hanging out with the cool kids.
Those dip shits didn't have feelings and they don't understand people like me.
He touched the small of my back again, stroking it. I couldn't let that
distract me. I have my own problems to fix.
"It's OK babe." Harry surprised me by wrapping his arms around my shoulders
bringing me to his warm chest, which actually made me cry harder.
I was trembling now. Little after shocks after the earthquake of tears I
couldn't help but showing.
I sobbed and sobbed until there was nothing left. I didn't know how long I
stayed there, crying and whaling in the arms of the most popular boy in the
entire school. It could have been hours.
I really didn't have the energy to pretend to pay attention in class.
I picked my head up and Harry gazed at me with so much compassion. I closed the
gap between us and kissed his mouth while a hidden tear dripped down my cheek.
Harry pulled away to kiss the spot where it fell. I wanted to melt when he did
this.
"Let's…"
"…get out of here?" He offered with a small smile.
I looked at him barely nodding as I composed myself and I stood up while he
mirrored me. I took up my things and bag pack as I looked at him.
Can't believe I was so weak now. I was nervous that he still saw me like this.
So vulnerable and crazy. I'm sure I looked bat shit right now to him. I can't
imagine what he's thinking.
I'd give anything to know.
***** Chapter 34 *****
Harry's POV
Ever since Louis gave me a massive reason to protect what's mine, I made a
promise to never stay away from Eva no matter what anyone said. No matter what
she said.
After skipping lunch I took her hand, never letting go as we walked to my car.
I felt Louis' eyes on me but ignored it. He really thinks he can pummel me with
the stink eye? Really?
I looked over at Eva as she huddled her shoulders, walking quietly next to me
staring down at the ground since we came out of the locker room.
I decided to say nothing for now. I know she's going through some stuff, hell I
have fucking secrets of my own that she doesn't know about. I feel like she's
opening up to me and I'm being very delicate with this because I know she'd
want me too. I really cared about her and I want us to happen. I just need to
be patient and let her decide what she wants. I think its me too. And that
makes me so happy.
I led Eva to the passenger's side and opened the door for her. She looked at me
for a second, smiling slightly and got in quietly. I knew Louis was watching
the entire thing but I could honestly care less. He's not going to do anything
to me; nothing will keep me away from here. I'm willing to be with her and I
want to show her everything I can give.
"Harry." She stood up before I closed the door startling me. "Look…" Her voice
shook and her lips quivered.
I gave her a worried look and saw what she was looking at. Shit. I wasn't ready
for a confrontation now. I turned back to Eva telling her to sit back down.
"Stay here." I grimaced sympathetically before attempting to handle this.
"Harry don't do it!" She yelled but I had it handled.
Debbie came trotting over to me, long legs stalking over to me.
"Harry, what the fuck? What is this?" She gestured behind me; I glanced at Eva,
looking terrified at the both of us. I've never seen her so scared.
Maybe if I reasoned with Debbie she'd leave us alone.
"What's what? I'm going out."
She lifted her brow, staring at me annoyed. Weird she did that a lot when she
thought I was staring at Eva, which I lied about.
"Harry you know what I told you about her yeah? She's playing you. I know her
type. Don't trust her. Trust your friends." She reached out to take my hand but
I backed away before her fingers touched mine. She flipped her long blond hair
and stood on one side of her leg. "Harry you're part of our group."
Oh god. She was threatening that in my face. Eva or my reputation? Fuck. Who
was more important?
"Debbie I have to go love. Please understand." I made a move to leave but as
soon as I began to turn she caught up to me.
"I don't need to understand. You're mine; no one else can have you."
"That's where you're wr-" She suddenly lunged forehead, grabbing my face in her
hands and kissed me point blank.
Fuck. It didn't last long. I was disgusted with myself; I hated addressing shit
like this when I should have just left. God damn it.
Debbie went to kiss me again but I backed away. She looked behind me and
giggled, biting her index finger. I stared in the direction behind me.
Oh no. Eva. She's gone.
I shuddered. What the fuck? I ran to check to make sure I wasn't seeing things.
"Looks like ET will never trust you again. But who could blame you, this is
what you wanted. Right, Harry?" She snickered.
I finally understand what Eva was talking about with Debbie. She's two ways.
She thinks she's nice but really, this is proof of who she really is.
She had some nerve. Controlling me like this. Fuck, she left. Eva didn't
deserve this.
"Harry its over. She doesn't want you. She'll never want you and treat you
right like I can."
I was so enraged I turned around and got in her face now. I didn't care if she
was scared of me.
"Go away Debbie. I don't care anymore about your stupid group. Eva doesn't
deserve your shit. She deserves me."
Debbie shook her head. "Harry come on don't be silly. All she thinks about is
using you. Bo tells me all the time."
No it's not true. She's lying. Look at how she's trying to turn Eva against me.
Why the fuck am I even questioning this? Eva is not Elena. She's different. She
could never ever hurt me. Then again, only five days, I don't really know her.
But I do. I know I do. Debbie is acting like a jealous slag.
"Don't believe me baby? She's always wanted Louis the whole time. She loves
him. She only wanted to use you to get back at me because I wouldn't let her
join our group."
I pushed Debbie right good. She's making it up. I didn't care if I hurt her.
It's so not true. She wouldn't do that. Not my Eva.
"Lies. You're sick. I don't believe a word of this." I grabbed my hair, still
uncertain about whether Debbie is lying or I don't know.
Eva just left; she wouldn't give me a chance to explain this. Plus, this
morning, she got upset when Louis didn't ring her, which he did, several times.
Does that mean she would have been happy if I'd never deleted them? No, why am
I even thinking for a second this could be true?
Debbie saw my face and smirked, leaning close to me. I don't know what the fuck
was going on anymore.
"What do you wanna bet 1,000 bucks she's looking for Louis right now? Because
she can't deal with the truth. She's always wanted him."
I shook my head, no, Debbie can't be telling the truth. I walked out of the
parking lot and began to search for Eva for a long time and for all to see
where her heart lies. I need to know. I had to know. For my own sanity's sake.
This won't happen again, no, I won't be played. Eva wasn't like anyone; she
couldn't do that to me.
I forced my body to search for her, now this shit just got personal. I had
Louis to think about.
I looked all over the quad, nothing. I checked around the cafeteria, no again.
I turned the other direction towards where I came from previously, the gym and
found her.
She was with him. The other guy. Louis. She was suddenly locked in his arms. My
heart sank at the sight. I still had to do this so I ran over to them pushing
aside my emotions. The wall was back up. No one is going to hurt me, not Eva
Davies. I braced myself for anything.
===============================================================================
Eva's POV
I couldn't watch it. The kiss. Oh god, I knew in the back of my mind Harry
would actually do this with her I just didn't think it would be so soon. So in
my face.
I have to protect myself now. And I did that by running away from getting my
heart broken. Debbie understood this. She hates me until the end of time. She
knew exactly how to hurt me and she did without breaking a sweat. I saw how
confident and slimy she was just now. Touching my Harry liked they belonged
together. She thinks she owns every guy at the school. I caught her though. If
this was real, she wouldn't be behaving like this. Looking at me as she kissed
him, her eyes wide open so the daggers can be seen for me only.
Harry fell prey to it. He could have walked away, said fuck off and everything
would have been better.
But he stayed. He actually talked to her. My mortal enemy. The one person who's
job is to single-handedly ruin every second of my existence just for breathing.
She knew what she was doing. I know this. But why does it hurt so much still?
Because I saw his eyes, because it was so real I know I didn't imagine it all.
Harry was real. He made me happy. I can't ignore that no matter how hard I try
to.
I'm not lying here, this wasn't fake for me. I didn't pretend for a second how
I felt around him. Harry was the scared one until the end. Until he saw me at
my most vulnerable state. He touched my back, allowing me to let it go and he
was there for me. I finally had his friendship in my grasp. But his heart? I
swallowed hard trying not to regret any of the moments I thought he believed it
too.
What bothers me about this is that I felt it completely. That's how I know it
was true. Wow, just, how am I going to live like this? Now I really understand
why I abandoned the idea of me and guys since I came here. Just ignore them.
No one will ever want me without something getting in the way. This is my true
fate. Everyone else will have it all. Eva will have…heartbreak. The silence
sounds of loneliness.
It's ok really, I think it is. I won't cry over Harry Styles anymore. I am done
with believing in all things real. It's all just a fantasy, a sweet one with an
expiration date.
I ran out as fast as I could somewhere, I wasn't sure if I still had my bag
with me. Fuck. I didn't, just my phone. I bolted out of the car so quickly I
wasn't thinking logically.
All I saw was Debbie attached to the one person I wanted, even more than Louis,
slowly making me want to die. Oh god, my chest started to heave. I don't think
any of this is real. It's all a big nightmare. I'll wake up just like that
weird dream I had when Harry was over. Nothing came true. Right, this didn't
happen. I smiled sadly wanting to believe this so bad.
I didn't even know where I was right now I just needed to hide myself and cry.
No, I just did this, didn't think I had anymore emotions in me.
I really liked Harry; I thought he was good for me. I thought he wanted me just
as badly I wanted him. Despite all of this I still want him, as crazy as that
sounds.
Debbie Jacobs won. Eva lost. Harry doesn't belong to me like I wanted. Like I
needed. I felt something with him in just 5 days that I never felt with Louis.
My heart raced when he was around, I used to think it was because he pissed me
off but really, it was a wake up call.
I suppose I shouldn't be so upset that Debbie got to Harry, deep down I knew
something like this would happen but I didn't prepare for how badly it would
hurt me. I literally can't breath.
I just want to hide. I can't show my face to anyone. I'm done with this place.
Looking at the surroundings I finally focused on where I was. The gym
auditorium. I just left this place. All the lights were out and I was curled up
on gymnastic mats under the bleachers. It was a little chilly. I managed to get
my jacket and pull it over my body, huddling in the corner.
I sniffed back trying to compose myself so I don't really go bat shit. It's
just a boy, why am I being like this? So crazy anyway. I really don't know
Harry at all. I thought he would just leave with me and enjoy this day like we
both wanted. I wanted him to. If I gave him a chance to explain it'll be much
worse, I didn't want to hear it. He'd make some excuse like she made him, she
forced him. I saw the fucking kiss, he kissed her back. Of course he did,
Debbie is every guys' type.
I am no one's type.
"Baby, where are you?" I thought I heard Louis' voice come into the auditorium.
"Babe, answer me. Tell me you're ok?"
Louis go away. I thought I heard another voice in the mix. Was that Liam?
"I don't know where she is. Go look that way, I'll go this way."
"OK mate. Let you know if I see her." Louis' voice came out rushed, he was out
of breath.
Oh my god, go away. I cared for him but I didn't want to see Louis right now.
I thought now would be a great time to sneak out when I didn't hear sounds
rustling near me. I moved out, wiping my eyes and tried to see through the mass
of tears that came out. I still thought of Harry, I still wanted him, after
what he did but, you can't forgive so easily. My dad loved my mom so much but
she didn't fight for him, she didn't choose him. Harry didn't choose me. I am
insane for still hanging onto any thread of hope.
I moved my legs again slowly and peeked on both ends of the gym. I stuffed my
phone in my pocket and jumped when it vibrated. Fuck, I turned it off instantly
and climbed out of the crawling space underneath the bleachers. I tried to be
as careful as I could. I knew Louis and Liam were looking for me so I tip-toed
behind me and went through the door of the girls locker room.
I had a weird thought suddenly amongst all the intense feelings going on. What
if he came to look for me?
But that's insane right?
Harry would never go after me. I started crying again but caught myself when I
heard voices close to me. Shit, I looked around and hid behind the empty
showers and closed the curtain. I felt like I was in a Hitchcock movie. A small
part of me wanted him to come look for me, find me and tell me he didn't mean
any of it, take me in his arms and we'll be together. Wish is was that easy.
I sat on the shower bench, thinking over some things. I'll never be anything to
guys but something they can use. It was sweet to believe Harry could be
different than guys out there. But it was just a dream. It was better when I
was just bored at this school. All of these feelings I didn't know what to do
with didn't have to fuck with my life. I am 16 years old. And I can't deal with
this now. I'm too young to feel this strongly for Harry when I know it's not
right. I don't want to have to watch my back every time I'm with him or worry
about his friends ruining what we have.
We could have had it. Whatever that is, the stuff that people want so badly but
few really get.
I pushed the curtain a little, whew, I was alone. I believed I was. This is
probably my cue to leave before I get into trouble. If anyone catches me for
skipping class knowingly I'll get detention and I hate that shit.
Carefully I moved the curtain all the way and went out to the back door of the
lockers. I breathed out finally when I turned the handle of the door.
I was clear, yes.
"There you are." I heard Louis speak behind me. He saw my face and it was too
late. I couldn't hide it. Louis knew me too well.
Shit, I was ready for this. I tried my best to hide any traces of woe I just
experience but Louis' eyes softened when he came close to me. He took my hand
in his, holding onto it like his life depended on it.
"Louis I don't want to talk. I don't want to do anything."
He nodded as if he understood and pulled me close to his chest silently,
kissing the top of my head. I couldn't help it, what Harry did to me still had
an effect on my eyes. No, no, no! I gripped Louis' jacket and squeezed his back
muscles as I pulled him to me. I couldn't relax, my body was weak and Louis
just held me as more tears slid down my cheeks. I wanted to die, anything but
cry right now. I am such a baby.
"It's ok love. He can't hurt you anymore."
I heard steps behind me but didn't turn around. "Lou, couldn't locate-oi."
"Liam, it's alright." He leaned down to my ear and whispered to me. "You're
safe now. Come with me with ok, I'll take you home."
I sniffed really loudly but didn't care. I don't want to get used to crying so
I promised myself I would control my emotions from here on. Louis looked at me
for a moment as I pulled back to stare at him.
"It's alright, you're alright, yeah?"
I shrugged.
"Awe, sweetie, come on. I'm going to take you somewhere ok, maybe get mind off
of this. He can't hurt you ok?"
I never told him it was Harry. How did he know?
"How…" I lifted my brow.
Louis vehemently shook his head, corners of his mouth rising. "I watch you,
remember? I won't let you get hurt by anyone."
He hugged my body against his and placed his chin on my head. He really was a
great friend. I should listen to him, not take everything so seriously.
Out of the corner of my eye, I couldn't believe it. My eyes expanded at the
sight of Harry making his way to me. He looked angry. Looking between the both
of us like he wanted to fight him. Was he jealous of Louis?
I thought he wanted Debbie? Oh no, it could be a trick. I braced myself for
what he was about to do.
***** Chapter 35 *****
Harry's POV
"Eva, please." I went to the both of them, out of breath but willing to
explain. "I have to say something."
She pulled out of his arms when I got closer to her. Louis was watching me
intently, keeping a close eye on Eva moving away. Fuck this. I didn't give a
shit about him. I came here for her.
"Harry…" She trailed off, backing away from both of us. "Leave me alone."
I breathed in shaky. Fuck, Louis was waiting for me to move. He looked at her
and I knew what he was thinking. Not a chance.
Trying to approach this as civil as possible I thought fast. Louis raised his
eyebrow, daring me to do anything. And I was, because he can go to hell.
"Come on now. You left your bag in my car. Please, I'm not asking you to do—"
She laughed incredulously, "You're not asking me? Harry…please don't hurt me
anymore today. I can't be anywhere near you now."
"Piss off mate. You've done enough damage already." Louis barked, throwing off
my focus. Lord he's annoying. "Go on then."
I steamed when I heard him talk. My fist balled up tighter than I intended. I
could so end this badly but I wasn't going to. That's not what she wants.
I moved forward to reach for her hand but Louis interjected, stepping in front
of me, taking her behind him right in front of me. Does he know that I can see
him?
Trying again I stepped closer so I can see her eyes. She can't lie to me with
those eyes. I know it. She has to listen to me. She avoided looking at me and I
knew why.
Eva stepped away from Louis, he looked her oddly. "I'm sorry. I'm can't do this
with both of you." She looked at me, tears numbly falling down her face.
"Eva, you know I wouldn't hurt you. You know me." I pleaded.
"He's lying to you Eva, I just saw it. Why do you think he sits with that slag?
He's only using you. Come on, come with me." Louis reached out to her but she
shrank back.
She looked at both of us again. I felt like I was losing her when she kept
looking back at Louis. I could tell she was getting frustrated. But I was the
sincere one. She had to know this. I couldn't help but show her how I'm really
feeling through my eyes. I didn't know how else to be. I looked at Louis as he
put on his best performance.
Eva shook her head, grabbing her temples together. I just wanted to end this
and take her in my arms already and be done with this day. Please god let me do
it.
I heard footsteps behind me and turned around, holy fuck.
"What's the problem here?" Assistant Principal stood sternly looking at all
three of us.
Louis ignored it, I looked around and Eva looked nervous.
"It-its nothing. Ohm, Harry was just taking me home." I looked at Eva, fake
smile plastered on her face. I shared a look with her and went with it.
"Yeah, that's right. No problem, Miss," I looked at the tag to be sure. She
looked like she didn't like me. "Farrell."
"Are you sure? Miss Davies is there a problem?" Please say no Eva.
She profusely shook her head at the AP. "No," She turned to me confirming it.
"No problem here."
I smiled the same but gulped, hoping it would work. Nothing has happened and I
wanted to keep it that way. I was so close to scuffing with Louis; maybe it was
a good thing the AP showed up.
"Alright, school is out right now. Be safe." She said with no emotion. I don't
think it was only me she had a problem with.
The AP was buying it but still looked at us like she wanted to kill us or worse
lock us up in prison. She turned on her clunky shoes the other direction and
left us three alone again.
I took a deep breath coming close to Eva who looked at me; I missed kissing
her, touching her. I just wanted to make things right.
Someone got in my way again. Ugh, fuck you.
"Eva, come on. I know you're mad but you can't go with Harry. He'll just hurt
you again. I don't want that." Louis said, trying to intimidate me. He shared a
sly, cross look with me when Eva wasn't looking.
The things I would do to this guy, I shouldn't even go there. I don't want to
be violent. I just want to put this day behind me. So much shit has happened
and I should have just done what I needed to do when I saw Debbie: leave.
On impulse I took Eva's hand and shockingly she didn't let go. She did another
thing that surprised me. She looked at Louis sadly.
"It's ok Louis. I'll talk to you later. Thank you for being there." She went to
give him a short hug, pulling back but he held on longer than he should. He was
staring daggers at me knowing I won this one.
It's not about winning for me. I adore this girl and she means so much to me. I
just want her to be with me. Why is every little thing today trying to mess
with that?
I saw Louis' friend behind him, touching his shoulder, he shook it off when Eva
wasn't looking. Oh boy, that's how he really is. Eva doesn't know this. His
friend was the guy who bailed earlier when Louis was kicking the shit out of
me. I shared a look, warning him with my eyes. He didn't look intimidated but
he obviously didn't want a fight on his hands like Louis.
His friend gave me a nod, patted Louis' shoulder and they finally turned around
but not without Louis staring back at me. He knew I got her now. No more of
these games. We're going to be together. No one is coming between us.
I'll never give up on us. Never.
I reached for her hand back when we were now alone but she didn't allow me to
touch her. She gave me a tired look before turning on her heal walking the
opposite direction, I followed closely behind her, not missing a step.
Eva and I silently walked back to my car. She was being quiet and I get that.
I'm not going to make her talk. Out of the corner of my eye Debbie was watching
us along with her friends, Bo and Alana. I couldn't help but be judged all of a
sudden. I was doing the right thing. I couldn't let Eva be with Louis; even if
it means losing my friends, potentially being back to square one.
She matters more. But right now I feel like I lost her. Having her around me
and not saying anything is worse than being apart.
I held the door open for her. I wanted to say so much but I bit my tongue back.
I didn't know how I should approach this. She just got in, no words, no groans,
no whining. Nothing. I sighed, rolling my eyes as I closed the door. When I
came around to the other side to open the driver's seat her face was turned and
she was hiding behind her hair again. I got in and reluctantly shut my door.
I started the engine, pulling out of the parking lot and finally away from
school. I was driving a bit for a while and it was too quiet. Deathly quiet. I
wanted to say something. I wanted to talk about this, I wanted to explain what
she saw wasn't what it looked like. I didn't kiss Debbie back. She kissed me
and I pushed her away. I didn't want this to happen, I thought she would
understand. I was so wrong. I just wanna fucking say all this but I can't, why?
Frustrated beyond the word I reached for the radio, switching it on. Eva
reached out her fingers to switch it off. I turned it back on. I heard her
groan and switch it back off. I grit my teeth, leaving it off for a while. This
could go on for god knows how long.
I turned on the streets we lived on and flipped on the radio dial again.
She did nothing. Shit. Now I know she's really pissed at me. I sighed, stopping
a few houses from ours and turned off the engine.
"You're not even going to let me explain?" I reasoned, couldn't help the honest
outburst.
She looked at me, tears fallings down her cheeks. I ached to touch her.
"I saw enough, there's nothing to explain. I told you not to do it."
"I know," I licked my lips, reaching for her hand but she wouldn't let me touch
her still. "I'm sorry, I should have listened."
She shrugged. What? I looked at her acting nonchalant suddenly. "No you wanted
to kiss her—"
"No, I did not. I wanted to talk to her. Back where I grew up that's just what
people there did."
"Welcome to American high schools Harry." She bit back sarcastically, laughing
slightly. "Enjoy being manipulated. We don't negotiate shit."
I leaned back in my chair, shutting my eyes then opening them up again. I just
wanna be with her, why is this such a challenge? Did she even want to? Did any
part of her care about me?
"I genuinely didn't know ok? You warned me and I should have listened. I fucked
up. That back there meant absolutely nothing to me."
She didn't respond back for a few long moments. She sighed heavily; I followed
her gaze as she averted her eyes looking out the window, folding her arms
across her chest. I tried to ignore her breasts peeking out over her top. She
dressed so sexy today I tried everything I could to distract myself. I moved my
eyes straight ahead, gripping the wheel. Who am I kidding? Maybe Elena had
cursed me; every girl I think is going to be different turns out to be just
like her. Maybe Eva wanted Louis more. Maybe I didn't matter like I thought.
Doubts came rushing back and I was about to tell her what hurt me to say.
She sighed loudly; she looked at me in thought, about to speak. I waited to
make sure.
"Harry, I have feelings for you." She paused, loosening her arms. I almost
looked at her but then I thought the heartbreak was inevitable. "But I'm just
confused now. I don't think you could hurt me."
"I wouldn't, you know that." I now turned around to look directly at her. I'm
tired of playing these games. "Look at me." I commanded gently.
When she unwound her arms she didn't look at me. I reached for her free hand
and she actually let me hold it.
She was trying so hard not to cry. I couldn't help but touch her cheek before
any tears came down. "I don't know what I'm feeling. I think I do its just, way
too fast. And what happened back there—" When I squeezed her hand she stopped.
"You know it was her. I wouldn't lie about that. I'm not with her Eva. I'm not
with anyone. Not since I broke up with..."
That's when her eyes flickered to mine but instantly stared down. She was
trying to remove her hand but I wasn't letting her.
I wasn't prepared to confess something so painful but it just came out. I felt
like I can open up now, about everything. I don't want there to be any secrets.
"I knew someone hurt you. I could never do that to you. Even if I'm so mad
right now after what just happened I almost don't want to know you Harry."
I nodded, breathing in hard. "I know you don't believe what I'm about to say
but I think you should know it. Louis would hurt you in a second. He doesn't
care about your feelings. He doesn't know how important you are." I paused when
her eyes found mine. She looked scared. I didn't want to see this so I
continued. "He just doesn't understand how much I lo—"
Eva cut me off with a kiss, pushing her lips confidently against mine, making
me miss how this felt before everything happened. Her soft lips encased over
mine as I tried to keep up her rhythm, her motions and her feelings for me.
They were becoming more evident the longer we stayed like this. I brought her
face to mine, closer our bodies came together. We were a perfect match; I
couldn't wait to be her first, to touch her in ways only I can know.
We pulled back and I sweetly kissed her forehead and placed kisses all over her
face. I smiled sadly, almost tearing up at the sight of her, so beautiful, so
soft, so angelic. I couldn't believe she was real. I kissed her mouth firmly;
giving all I had to this girl I only laid eyes on five days ago.
We were breathing fast and I was extremely turned on now. Her kisses were
making me dizzy and I almost couldn't control this wild desire burning inside
me, to take her, right here and right now.
"We have to stop." I spoke, Eva moaned in my mouth as she slowed down her last
kiss to me. I loved the way she could do this perfectly and still have me
wanting more.
I am tired of these temptations, I wanted the real thing, I wanted her,
forever.
"Harry, my dad isn't home. Come upstairs with me." She whispered in my ear,
curling up against my chest.
I grumbled a laugh; she sat up looking at me. "You have no idea how much I want
to."
She licked her lips, waiting "But?"
I shook my head, trying to appease her concerned face with a smile. "I think we
should get some rest after today."
"I really do hate this day." She said, her lips touching my chest as she spoke.
She'd begun to peel herself off my body. I cupped her cheek, kissing her one
last time before she did anything. Her eyes were closed when I pulled away; she
took a few seconds to come to back to reality. When she started to get ready to
leave I touched her shoulder.
"Yeah?"
I hesitated before I spoke. "I really want to, please don't think I don't want
to with you. I'm so sorry for hurting you today."
She touched my hand, taking it off her shoulder. "Goodnight Harry. Maybe
tomorrow things will be better."
"See you around yours then?"
She smiled; blushing as she looked down, then up at me through her long
eyelashes. "Of course."
***** Chapter 36 *****
Eva's POV
After I got out of the car I went straight to my house, instantly getting in.
Dad wasn't home yet; I figured I'd relax on the couch and watch a bunch of
movies until he returns and feed myself since I haven't eaten much of anything
today. I picked up the landline receiver and order a medium pepperoni pizza,
they told me it was only 10 minutes and I decided to kill time on the couch
now. I didn't always do this. Normally I'd take a boring book or one I've
already read to bed and read myself to sleep. But I had to eat. I had to
function. I had to pretend everything was ok, which part of me believed it was.
I believed Harry. I still wanted to see him. I had deep feelings for him that
not even I could understand. It's not the same way I feel for Louis. I mean he
and I close and he cares about me but Harry, my heart swelled when I thought of
him. Louis didn't have this effect on me. I can't force it either. I think
Louis has the wrong idea about us and I should tell him I just want to be
friends, deep down. I like him but you know, not in the way he thinks. I'm
scared to hurt him though, he thinks I want more. The truth is: I need a break
from these guys and all this drama. Enough is enough already.
I wanted to get my mind off of everything today. All the unnecessary drama
needed to be flushed out right now. I got up and went to the kitchen to grab
the microwave popcorn, unfold the package, put it in the microwave and set the
time on. I had to watch it since the last time I did this it was with Harry and
I nearly burned it. Imagine that? Burning something when the instructions only
say press the timer? My inability to pay attention to instructions couldn't get
any worse over the years. Only Harry knew how bad it was. If he found out about
my dyslexia I'll probably off myself. Though I don't know, I feel I can tell
Harry anything now.
I'm a little mad at what he did but I know he didn't start it. I forgave him
because of how I felt. I wanted him on my side; I couldn't stay mad at him for
long. There's something about his eyes that made me want to trust him. I've
never had a boyfriend before. I don't even know how dates are supposed to work.
All my life I've just had my dad protecting me from people. I don't know how he
would feel about me dating. I am 16 years old he would say, maybe that I am not
ready. But he trusts Harry, he likes him. My dad is fiercely protective over me
and he trusted Harry in such a short time.
The doorbell rang just as I was pouring myself a strawberry Fanta filled with
ice. I pulled the popcorn bag carefully just so I don't forget this time. My
fingers grabbed some cash my Dad had left behind and jogged to the front door,
opening it.
I was greeted by the pizza guy. He was much than me, dark brown hair poking out
of his hat, big hazel eyes, ethnically mixed, maybe Middle Eastern and looked
tired and bored. I gave a thin smile and handed him the cash, asking him to
keep the cash as a big tip. My Dad didn't have a lot of money but I was feeling
generous now. He smiled at me pulling the box out of the envelope pouch for me
to take. I accepted it and was about to close the door.
"That was my last delivery." He has an English accent, almost sounded like
Louis'.
I didn't know this guy's name; I didn't know what I was supposed to say.
"Oh…" I held the box firmly so I didn't drop it. Smelled so good, the steam
from the corners rose. I felt the pizza guy's eyes on me and looked up at him.
"You go to my school right?" He smirked, taking off his hat. Shit this guy had
a lot of hair. It was really puffy too.
I titled my head. "What school?"
"John Adams."
I blushed. I forgot other people beside the plastics, Louis and Harry go there.
"Yeah that's right."
"You're in my English class. I've seen you this week, we had English Freshman
year too. You write?"
Was this actually happening? When did other people notice me at this school? I
thought I'd done so well hiding myself all those years.
I licked my lips, blushing again. How could somebody else notice me? I was
certain at one point Louis was the only one, before Harry of course.
"Um, sometimes; I'm not a writer though." I tried not to look embarrassed but I
couldn't help it. I felt like the spotlight was on me.
He smiled, looking down shyly. "Yeah I remembered your poem on the second day
this week. You're really good with those feelings the teacher was talking
about. Me, I can't really do that. I just draw my feelings. Kinda shit drawings
but that's my thing."
He had such a genuine demeanor. A bit reserved but I felt like I could talk to
this guy for a long time. Plus he was fucking gorgeous.
I steadied the box in my hands; almost forget I had it in my grasp. "That's
interesting."
He cleared his throat, "So how was your first week?"
I almost dropped the box and he came forward to help me. "That bad huh?"
He looked at me for a moment before backing away with an amused expression on
his face.
I smiled. "What?"
"Is that Dawn of the Dead on your Telly?"
"Hmm," I looked back and heard screaming on the screen. I don't remember what I
left the channel on before the popcorn. "I-I think so. Why?"
It was his turn to blush now. "No reason, just recognize it. One of my
favorites actually. So what are you up to right now?"
I was curious to know where this was leading to. I was a little peeved he never
told me his name; I still don't remember him from English class. I was too busy
dealing with Harry.
"Well, my dad is supposed to be home but he's been working late." I did
something kind of daring. "Would you like to come in? I mean if you're not
doing anything."
His face changed suddenly, beaming when I said it. Was almost like he was
waiting for me to say it.
"O….K….thank you, Eva right?"
"That's right and you are?" I finally asked as I closed the door behind
extending my free hand out to him.
"Oh sorry, I'm Zayn Malik, nice to meet you. Need help with that?" He took the
box immediately off my hands before I could answer.
I still nodded, grinning. This guy was kind of a breath of fresh air. I never
do this sort of thing but something tells me this guy was cool.
***** Chapter 37 *****
Harry's POV
I woke up pretty early Saturday morning to help my mum out before she goes out
of town for the day. What a coincidence that Eva's dad is busy too? More like
heaven. I thought of all the things we might do now that we're going to be
practically alone for 2 days straight. Well, mum will be back but she doesn't
care if I'm at the Davies'.
I just got finished eating breakfast when mum asked me to pack up some sketches
for her company. My mind was a little distracted though. I think she can sense
it too, and I can't lie for shit so the smile remained on my face the entire
time.
She caught me a few times but I tried my best to hide it. She knows I can't
hide anything from her, especially how I feel. I know I can't spend every
second with Eva but I'm doing my best not to think of that. I wondered what she
was doing now; every time she left the house I was curious how she started her
day. This week has been pretty hectic; we all could use a break from each
other. But that's the thing, I didn't want to stay away from her, I wanted to
be near her every chance I had. Every moment of the day. I wanted to know her.
I didn't want to do anything else.
I helped mum with the last of her supplies, trying again to wipe the smile off
my face but mum caught me again. She shook her head, laughing. I'm hoping
she'll drop me a kiss me goodbye for the day and be off.
Doesn't sound like mum's style.
"Harry, what's going on? Something on your mind, love?" I lifted the back latch
of the car and pulled it closed.
I groaned softly. Changing the subject, yeah that's good. "So what time are you
coming back then?"
Mum looked at me in that stare she only gives me when I'm avoiding the
question. I tell my mum everything, why am I so nervous about this? I think
maybe because I haven't asked Eva out officially. I know she doesn't hate me,
but I don't really know if she'll say yes. Louis is still in the picture. Fuck,
I'm kinda fucked at the moment about this.
Mum came forward and kissed my forehead. "Do you want to talk when I get back?"
"Mum, it's nothing to worry about. I won't be stuck in the house all day.
Really, there's nothing to talk about. I'm fine really. I'll call some
friends."
She nodded, she could read me like a book and I hated that. But she still gave
me a strong mother hug, kissing my cheek. "Alright, take Eva with you if you're
going out. Robin and I left some money, do you need more?" I shook my head. "OK
well, have fun lovely. Make sure you do the laundry and clean the kitchen some
time today. I love you Harry, see you later today."
I nodded. "What time again?" I scrunched my nose up; I hope it was late in the
evening.
"Probably after 10 tonight." She smiled, hung her purse on her shoulder,
getting into the front seat. "Bye Harry."
I backed up to give her room as she turned on the engine, pulling the car away.
She opened the window, giving me a final wave; I gave her a short wave, smiling
back. I was beyond happy knowing I have all day to spend with the girl I can't
stop thinking about. I can't hide how I feel about Eva Davies for long. Mum is
already getting suspicious. Not that it was bad news, it isn't not like its
Debbie or any other girl she doesn't know about. She likes Eva, she trusted
her, I don't know, normally she doesn't push me to hang around any girl like
she does Eva. Not that I was complaining or anything.
I turned back to the house; an idea was forming in my head as I grabbed a pink
carnation from the kitchen table. I made it outside and climbed Eva's latter
leading up to her room. I had the flower in my front pocket as I climbed
swiftly up to her window. Thank god it was left a crack open. I opened it all
the way and climbed inside her room. Looking around I found her fast asleep on
her desk on top of her Literature book. Looked like she was in the middle of
something. Wow, I smiled, moving closer to her and took out the pink carnation
from my pocket and brought the felt flower closer to her face.
I moved the petals so they were sliding down her cheek slowly. She moaned
softly, I did it again and her eyes blinked open.
She looked at me through a half awake glance until her eyes focused sharply.
"Harry?" Her voice came out gently as she picked up her face to meet mine. "Is
it really you?"
I smiled, nodding as I brought her hand to my lips, kissing it gently.
"Morning, love."
She smiled tiredly stretching her arms behind her head. Then she looked at the
rose. "Who's that for?"
I moved to her face touching the carnation down her profile again. "For you."
She took it from my hand, smelling the flower as I watched her. I don't think
I've seen anyone so beautiful. She looked at me through her eyelashes again. I
love it when she does that. I touched her cheek in my hand and watched her
leaned into me, practically purring.
"Thank you Harry." Her voice was even sweeter in the morning.
I bent down and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, pulling away to look into her
eyes. "You alright?"
She nodded slowly and took in a deep breath. She smiled sweetly looking down at
her book. I caught her blushing and held in a bookmark place in the crease,
closing the text.
"I was studying. Hmm, I didn't hear you walk in." She moaned and then a yawn
escaped her lips.
I rubbed the back of my neck, kneeling down next to her, smiling. "I wanted to
surprise you."
She touched my face, palming my cheek with her hand and I thought I was
dreaming. She had such a tender look in her eyes that made my heart swelled up.
She leaned her forehead against mine.
"I can't fight this anymore. I think this is it. I think it's us. I don't want
to fight this." She whispered, her breath warming my face, sending chills
simultaneously.
I grabbed her hands, lacing her fingers with mine. "Then don't." I smiled,
moving my lips over to hers, waiting. "Choose me. Be with me lover. Be with me
forever."
She laughed softly; it was like melody to my ears. She smiled, closing the gap
by moving her lips over mine, pressing them with all she had for me. "You make
this so hard for me to resist."
"Don't resist me." I kissed the corners of her mouth before submerging her with
kisses to blind her judgment. "Just don't baby."
She moaned in my mouth, pushing me away slightly. She was being playful and I
loved it. Suddenly I believed in us all over again. The way she was looking at
me right now enforced my faith in us being something really special. She was
the first to pull away and made a whiney sound followed by a groan. "You tempt
me too much."
"You enjoy it." I growled in response. Moving toward her again, stealing
another sweet kiss. She moaned as she stood up and flopped down on her unmade
bed.
I kept looking at her legs sprawled out on the covers and imagined them wrapped
around my back. It's getting harder to hold myself back from showing her how I
feel completely.
She leaned on her elbows, motioning for me to sit with her. She pushed open the
covers as I took off my shoes nearly tripping over myself to get there. Wow, I
was so scared, it's just Eva, she won't hurt me. I took a breath and put all
those doubts away, crawling on her bed immediately going for her neck, kissing
every spot like it was my last time, trying to remember this moment and keep it
with me everywhere I go. I heard her laughing when I kissed the middle of her
neck; the rumbling vibrations of her giggles distracting me. Had no idea she
was ticklish there, or anywhere.
I was about to slip my fingers down to where I wanted them to go as I moved
them down her hips, between her legs, touching her through her pajama trousers
when I stopped myself. Shit, this wasn't meant to happen. Why do I do this?
Build myself up only to not go all the way. I didn't want this to be quick and
horny. Eva meant so much more than that. But it wasn't. She felt this way too.
I looked at her, smiling at me and trailed my kisses from her neck down to her
stomach and came up, propping my chin on her soft belly. She looked at me like
it was my move. Fuck, I couldn't do it. I have this great girl in front of me,
giving herself to me, why can't I do it like everyone else does it?
"Harry, are you alright?" Her voice brought me out of my confusion.
I groaned, avoiding a direct answer. Yes I was completely afraid. These
feelings were happening so fast and doing something like this will change
everything. Am I ready for everything to change? I looked at Eva now sitting up
properly on her elbows, looking at me curiously. Fuck, I feel like an asshole.
She deserves so much better than me. Can I really make her happy? Am I good
enough for her?
I know what's going on. This isn't right. I'm doing everything wrong. I should
be in better control of my actions and know better. She would want that. But
she wants this too. What the fuck?
"Yeah, I'm alright, love." I sighed. "I'm sorry," I felt like I needed to say
that.
"Why are you sorry?" She laughed softly, I heard confusion in her tone and
moved closer to her face, looking in her eyes, trying to find something.
Her lips were parted and she looked at me so innocently. Oh god if she only
knew how intense these feelings truly ran. I slowly ran my fingers through her
hair saying nothing for another long moment. I groaned softly, shaking my head.
"I don't know Eva. Wish I could explain it like you deserve."
She looked at me sadly, oh no, she's pulling away, but she didn't. She kept a
small distance from me, holding my stare, her face expressionless.
"Do I scare you?" She asked in a small voice. I immediately came closer to her,
my feet rubbing on her leg as I held onto her hands.
"No, you never scare me."
"You don't trust me do you?"
She sat up, her face was now getting really confused and I could hear
frustration in her words. Fuck. I fucked up again.
I couldn't lie to her though. I wanted this so badly. I never wanted anything
else either; she was all I thought about, all I dreamed of. I am obsessed with
possessing her. I can't let any guy be close to her, so why can't I man up?
Just ask her Harry. Look into her big eyes and do it already. Make it easy.
Make her yours like she wants.
"I think…" She started to say before I could protest. I wanted to know all of
her thoughts now. "Maybe we should just be friends. I mean, Harry, I have these
deep feelings for you and you just look at me like you're so scared." Her eyes
were filling with water but she closed them, turning her face.
"Eva you don't scare me. Don't think that." This was all I could get out with
confidence and then my entire body shook. I am only 17, this can't be happening
to someone so young. My pulse rose higher, shit.
I have my entire life in front of me, I've only been here a week, so fucking
much has happened and it's just now hitting me. I guess this is what really
terrified me. The fact that more happened in this week than anything else in my
life. Why am I such a pussy? She's slipping away and I am allowing it.
"I really didn't think I'd feel this way again," I touched her elbow and she
looked at me, a tear sliding off the corner of her eye. I wiped it with my
thumb feeling my own getting glassy. "Eva, you mean everything to me."
She sat up fast, her face close to mine. She looked angry and it was all my
fault. "Louis never had doubts about anything. What are you holding yourself
back from Harry?"
I grabbed her hand suddenly, holding onto it so she won't get away. "I-I, I
don't know. I can't really tell you why, its something I—"
"Do you want me in your life or is this a game?"
"No, I want this, I just—"
"No Harry, just tell me the truth. Just say you want us to be friends already.
Let me go or be with me. Remember those were your words? Were they real?"
"Yes, I wasn't lying Eva."
"Harry, stop it. Tell me what you want already? Why did you come here?" She
moved away from me, folding her arms across her chest, giving me a pointed
stare.
I grabbed my hair, widening my eyes as I tried to clear my mind. It's like the
words are there, they are all there, my feelings are to but I can't bring
myself to do anything about it.
She shook her head covering her mouth. "You still love her, don't you?"
Elena? Oh fuck. No, please don't go there. I deleted the memory of her
tormenting me every night. Her face still burns in my head, how is this
possible? Holy shit.
I moved from the bed to stand up. Shit, I couldn't lie to her. I couldn't do
much of anything.
"I am so messed up Eva. And I don't want to play games."
"Don't, set me straight Harry. Right fucking now." Eva demanded, nearly yelled.
Her eyes were blazing red and I just wanted to crawl in a shell and close it
tight.
"Tell me you still love her?" She bated me. Fuck. No, I know this really isn't
true. She was my first girlfriend. Jesus fucking Christ.
Eva slapped me hard across my face; I barely felt the sting but took it. She
slapped me hard again. I deserved it. I fucking deserved being hit, punished,
whipped; I am the worst person ever. I can't hurt her. I don't want to hurt
her. But I can't let her go. I felt helpless. Eva wanted me. Who could ever
want someone like me? She didn't want me. But…Eva wanted me. She didn't care if
I was hurt, she didn't give a shit about anything else. I felt light headed
suddenly and collapsed on my knees, my face redder than crimson. I held my face
in my hands, feeling the cracks of so much hurt, so much passion, oh fuck here
comes the pain. Yes, I still see it so clear.
I wasn't enough. Her words…the one who made me feel so worthless. Elena did
this; she ripped my trust out when she tore into my chest gripping my heart in
her hands. She squeezed it without warning. I wasn't sure if I was still in my
body. Before I could stop anything I knew my emotions were building, hard,
strong, faster than I can keep up.
Fuck oh no. Here it really comes.
I grabbed Eva's legs, holding on like a life vest. I didn't deserve to be
happy. I can't be happy. Not me.
"Harry," I heard above me, the soft cries and shakes of a girl who didn't
deserve this mess. I really can't make her happy. I'll never be good enough.
"Harry, please don't do this to me…let me go…"
I started to speak but croaked out sounds and squeaks. I wasn't sure if they
were words as I held her tighter than before. I couldn't do what she wanted.
But I couldn't give her all she wanted. It's me who is cursed here.
That's when everything changed. Eva fell to the ground with me, hugging my body
tighter than I had hers. Hating this so badly, the moaning was so loud I was
scaring the one person I cared about right now.
"Harry, tell me how you feel. Please. I won't hate you. Tell me the truth."
The truth?! Fuck, I should off myself right now. How can I come close to
defining how bad I feel about everything? How I never really addressed having
my heart broken by the first girl I completely loved with everything. I was
pathetic.
I shivered as I pulled back, smashing my lips onto hers, trying to tell her
that way, I couldn't say it in words, only physical. Doesn't she know already?
I am so tired of my past coming into my heart, messing with all the good things
in my life. I felt her respond and for a moment I felt safe again.
"Mmm, harry please look at me." She spoke against my lips, trying to calm me
down. Why can't I talk now? She is right here, this isn't a dream. This is
life. "You matter to me. I get you."
That's when I knew she was just like me. Broken and scared of feeling the
shatter of the entire world coming down on something so pure, so alive.
Slipping down my cheeks were tears I thought I hide in the dark and only I can
understand. But I can't understand. Everything else confused me but one thing.
All I know is how I feel for Eva. That is all that matters now.
She wiped my face, her own eyes mirroring my somber reaction. I was so scared.
Elena really did me in. And Eva was suffering for it. My hands touched her
cheeks, holding on, pushing my kisses all over her face, telling her how I feel
this way and that way, so many ways. My speech failed me now. All I have are my
gestures. I wanted to show her my reason.
She was my reason. To live. To love. To matter to someone else with a beating
heart. I wanted to feel alive again. Don't break me, please, I am begging you
baby. She cradled my face, stroking my cheek, leaning her forehead against
mine, breathing in rapidly.
"I love you." My voice cracked but it was the truth, finally coming from the
deep sea of my heart.
***** Chapter 38 *****
Eva's POV
When Harry said those words I almost fainted.
He what? He loves me? Harry Styles is in love with me? No way. No fucking way.
This has got to be a joke. I'm dreaming now for sure. I'm not the girl guys
fall in love with. I'm not popular, I don't have the nicest clothes, my family
life isn't perfect, I have nothing to offer someone else. Even if it's Harry
Styles.
I'm not good enough for him. All my doubts were swimming to the surface and
before I could control them, I spoke out too soon.
"You don't mean that…" I bite back my words. Too late to take them back.
Harry should his head as if I said something silly. "Yeah, yes I do."
"But, I mean…" I started to move away from his locked hold over me but it was
challenging. He put all his muscle into keeping me in place. Shit, I was
trapped. "It's too—"
"What? It's too fast? I know this but its true Eva. You have to trust me."
Louis' face popped into the picture. What about him? How does Louis feel about
all this? I feel so bad how I left him at school. He didn't do anything wrong
and he's a good person. I've known Harry for six days, this cannot be possible.
He doesn't love me. He can't.
I backed up against my bed but he came with me, not letting go of my hands. If
this is how he really feels then…wow. I'm just not lovable. I'm weird,
different and only weird people seem to like me. Harry seemed like a guy who'd
choose the popular crowd. He did kiss my mortal enemy. I nearly forgot that and
tried to push it away as soon as it happened but he lives next to me for crying
out loud.
"I don't throw around that word. We barely know each other Harry, it doesn't
make sense."
He narrowed his eyes, "And I'm not throwing it around either. I'm not lying and
I don't throw anything around that I never mean. Eva, this is real, this is me,
and no one else is forcing me to say this. I'm in love with you."
I shivered, my breath came in shaky. I drew in another one finding myself
confused by a lot of things.
"Why?"
"Why do I feel this way?"
I pressed my lips together.
Harry laughed curtly, I felt stupid, even worse than I had before. I don't know
he or anyone would feel this way about me. Love is such a strong feeling, I'm
too young for it, but there's no denying that Harry makes me feel something I
don't really understand. Why does he love me? Why is he looking at me like
that?
"You want me to tell why I love you? Is this what you're asking me?"
I looked in his green eyes. I didn't realize my body was completely on the bed
now and Harry was leaning over me. He moved his body so he was hovering above
me. I felt his heart pound against my skin, that's how close he was. Shit. Oh
god. What's he thinking of doing now?
"I'm scared Harry."
"Why?"
"Because I don't know how to feel."
He did a sigh/groan. He didn't sound like a kid just now he sounded like a man.
I was so confused on what I feel. Being loved should feel amazing…I never
thought a guy would say that to me. Why did it make me feel so confused? Why
was my brain thinking more than that fuzzy feeling wanting to creep up and push
all doubts aside so I can be with him? Which is still an option for me. Shit,
is this meant for me? The question really is: how crazy am I to believe it?
The hottest most popular guy in school just told me that he loves me. It feels
wrong. It doesn't feel real. It feels like a dream actually. But like all
dreams, you wake up. I haven't woken up yet and it's freaking me the fuck out.
"Let's take things slow then. I want us to work. I don't care about anything
else. It's hard to fight these feelings and when I do, I feel awful."
Harry kicked off his shoes and sat near my legs at the end of the bed. Was I
really scared because of Harry or what this could mean? Maybe that's what it
is. This reminded me of how my dad used to feel about my mom. He loved her so
much and he wanted to be with her but her parents prevented them from doing
that. Only its not quite that way here.
My dad likes Harry.
My dad likes Harry's family.
My dad isn't preventing me from seeing Harry. In fact he's pushing me to be
around him.
Shit, how can I not see it before? Harry is my dad. Oh my god. But I can't be
my mom. I wouldn't hurt Harry like my mom did.
Aren't I doing that right now?
What did Zayn say to me last night? Oh god, I can't remember all of it because
Harry was touching my hand, playing with my fingers; looking down at them then
back up at me. I was distracted by this and I needed to be rational again. Zayn
said to be cool and direct with guys, they like that. Don't be overly
emotional.
"Slow? What are you saying Harry?"
He pressed a kiss to my cheek, looking at me through a dreamy stare. "Will you
be my girlfriend?"
I shivered. Holy shit. I had no idea what I did to deserve any of this; I'm
just a confused girl trying to figure everything out. He's the new kid I showed
around school. Had no plans to feel like this way. I thought I was going to
drool over Louis and those drama geeks all semester until Lou finally asked me
to be his. But he didn't, he wasn't the guy for me like I thought. He was just,
a guy in school. That's really it.
Harry took action; he was the guy who tried to do the right thing all along.
Why didn't I see this before?
I nodded calmly, biting my lip. Can't believe any of this is real but I'm
taking advantage of it right now. Something I should have done since I met him.
"Yes."
I've never seen Harry smile wider than he is now. You'd think he'd just won the
lottery and I was the money reward.
"Finally, took you long enough, love." He said before coming toward my face
again, stopping suddenly. "Go out with me tonight?"
"Where?"
"On our first date." He said simply, his breath fanning over my lips.
First date? Well that sounded official. Wow…Harry Styles is mine now. Is this
still a reality?
How do I know for sure I'm not dreaming? I feel like any moment someone will
yell cut and the credits will roll down the screen.
My phone vibrated suddenly and Harry intercepted it before I could reach to
touch it.
He checked the screen and frowned, rolling his eyes. "Not this wanker again."
"Let's tell him the truth Harry. Plus," I folded my arms across my chest. "I
haven't agreed to this date just yet."
Harry looked at me fairly annoyed but I was trying to be serious. Like, didn't
he want to set things straight with Louis?
"Eva, I just don't want him involved in our day. He's bothering you a lot. And
if he's bothering you then its bothering me too. So let's just ignore him for
today."
I puffed out, pursing my lips. "He's only concerned for me. I left him
yesterday and he's probably upset with me. We should tell him, its the right
thing to do."
He did something on my phone and I tried to grab it back but he held it over my
head. I gave him my maddest look I can muster and he relented, giving me back
my phone. All he did was turn it off. He probably read the text and got
jealous. Typical guy. Though it is strange that a guy would ever be jealous me
of anything. I pushed his chest but he found it funny. Again. I can't win with
this boy.
I threw my phone back on my bed feeling bad I didn't text Louis back, I really
wanted to know what he said. Zayn last night said to me that I should always
stand up to what's true. Its weird a guy my age has the wisdom of someone twice
as old. He's a good guy. Hopefully Harry won't be jealous of him too since I
consider him one of my friends.
I grabbed my hair in bunches, pushing it out of my eyes. I feel like I'm awake
but so much has already happened together I think I need a break from it all.
Jesus, I mean there is such a thing as too much of Harry Styles.
I felt my chin being tiled up as I stared in his eyes. "You alright?"
I moaned, shrugging. I was feeling...indifferent now. Crazy how the first boy
who tells me he loves me and all I want to do is hide because those words are
too real.
"I'm alright." I smiled, despite my uneasiness. "So...I think I need to get
ready. I just woke up and I barely had breakfast. Not even sure if I brushed my
teeth."
Harry laughed, smiled. I felt like his eyes were glued to every part of me. He
moved some hair from my face, bending down his tall frame to look at me.
"I barely noticed. You look perfect now."
"Harry! Come on! You're taking away the essential thing that all humans need to
do." I leaned forward and pretended to smell him. "You could do with one too."
"Care to share? Saves water. You know, our basic, essential need as humans." I
pushed him away but he came toward my face, leaning in so close.
This was becoming all too familiar. I closed up a little when he closed more
space between us. I lied. He smelled good. Too good. I hated how my nose was in
dreamland around Harry.
I bit my lip, there was so much I really wanted to say to him before he closes
the space any further and pulls me into that euphoric feeling again.
"I can show just fine thank you, by myself." I emphasized myself because Harry
was already driving my brain into foggy hysterics.
He moved to my lips, stopping briefly before touching them to his, kissing me
in a way that made me lose feeling all together in my legs.
He pulled away, I opened my eyes but his were still closed. He opened them and
it took me by surprise.
"I can make you something downstairs. Go to the loo." Harry suggested.
I folded my arms, giving him a straight pointed look. "Uhuh, can I lock the
bathroom door?"
Harry blushed, pulled back a little and held out his hand to me. "Of course. I
won't bother you at all."
"You don't bother me, just, I think...ugh." I took his hand avoiding his eyes
for a moment to collect my thoughts. "Let's take things kind of slow today.
Like you said before."
I hesitated before I looked at him. He nodded, pulling me in his arms, resting
his head on top of mine. Man, how did I get here? I'm just a confused teenager
in all this. Harry was just so, I have no words for it. I don't even think
anyone other than my dad made me believe there were guys like him out there.
Somehow I think my dad and my mom were crazy for each other, Harry and I were
so similar. But now that he loves me I think it runs deeper. I don't think I
can believe someone who looks and acts like Harry could ever think of me in
that way. Harry Styles loves me. Just...I need some time with this one.
And maybe a good shower will cleanse some of the muddled doubts I have in my
mind. Being around Harry was doing things to me that were so new, maybe I was
too scared to realize it.
We pulled back and I was getting my stuff all together for the shower when
Harry called my name.
He looked down and smiled shyly, "Don't take too long, I might have to break
down the door if you lock it on me."
Rolling my eyes I found myself laughing at his silliness. "Dare to dream
Styles. I won't be long. Go ahead." I gestured with a nod of my head.
"Be downstairs when you're ready." Harry grinned before turning the corner and
walking down the stairs.
I sighed to myself, looking around my room and spotting my phone again. OK I am
being tempted again. Now what next? I can't help but be reminded of Louis when
I stared at my cell. I did a mental fuck it and dove for my phone, turning it
on and waiting for the screen to load. I made sure to close my door in case
Harry saw me. I didn't want him to know what I was doing.
When the coast was clear and everything was back online with my phone, I
checked my inbox. God damn it! Harry deleted anything that was sent today. Wow,
what nerve. Louis is a good guy and Harry has no right to get into my business.
With a scowl on my face I sent Louis a lamented text.
Eva: Sorry about everything yesterday. Call me when you get this. I have to
talk to you.
When it was sent I threw it back on my bed, grabbing my robe and towel for my
hair. As I as about to go to the bathroom I heard my phone vibrate.
I rushed to it, grabbing it up and slid the unlock.
Louis: No I'm coming over, I have to see you. Please don't let Harry mess with
your head.
He had a point. Oh god what am I saying? Louis can't come over now.
Eva: No, not a good time.
Louis: When then? Eva, do whatever you want to, its your life babe :)
Zayn said that too last night. Oh Lord. What am I going to do?
I peeked around the door and heard noises in the kitchen. Somebody was
obviously cooking and it was Harry.
Louis' words played over in my head as I closed my eyes and leaned up against
the door. Another text vibrated my phone.
Louis: I won't come over until you say yes. Please Eva, I'm begging you.
Shit, I was so lost now. Louis is an amazing guy but Harry...I'm running out of
time. He's begging me. I have to make a decision. It's time already.
I pulled the phone away, looking at the screen as I wrote the the text.
Eva: Don't come over. Meet me later tonight, we have to talk.
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