Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/255315.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Captain_America_(2011)
  Relationship:
      Steve_Rogers/Howard_Stark
  Character:
      Steve_Rogers, Howard_Stark, Tony_Stark, Peggy_Carter, Edwin_Jarvis, Sarah
      Rogers
  Additional Tags:
      Rough_Sex, Alternate_Universe_-_Modern_Setting
  Series:
      Part 1 of Young_Lovers
  Stats:
      Published: 2011-09-20 Words: 11220
****** Teenage Dream ******
by blakefancier
Summary
     A little harmless flirting turns Howard's life upside down.
Notes
     I don't know what happened here. This story was just supposed to be a
     bit of harmless fun, you know? A bit of underage!Steve/Howard and it
     sort of grew and grew and grew. I am actually plotting a sequel to
     this story where we find out how Tony reacts to Howard/Steve and a
     few more things will come to light about... well, I don't want to
     ruin it for anyone.
There was a strange young man in his kitchen, that was Howard's first thought.
His second was, nice ass, nice everything. The blond was wearing khakis that
were a size too small for him and a t-shirt that showed off a muscled chest. He
wondered what it would take to get the blond to take it off, to take it all
off.
He walked across the room and leaned against the kitchen island. "Well, hello,"
"Oh!" The blond turned around, his face pinking slightly.
Mmm, the young man's front side was better than his backside. Howard let his
gaze travel over the young man's body, taking in all the delights. When he
looked back up, the young man's face was bright red. "While I have no objection
to handsome young men in my home, I do have to wonder why you're here."
"Oh, um… Mr. Jarvis didn't tell you? I'm here to water the plants while he's on
vacation."
"Really? Well, hooray for me." He smiled slowly and moved around the island so
that he was standing in front of the young man. "I'm Howard Stark."
"Yes, Mr. Stark, I know." The young man gave a slight smile and Howard could
see that he was trying not to laugh.
"Do we know each other?" Howard couldn't help himself, he put his hand on the
young man's shoulder and… well, can you really fondle a shoulder?
"Yes, sir. You brought Tony to my fifth birthday party. You got drunk and hit
on the clown."
It was like someone dumped cold water on him. "Steve?" He snatched his hand
back, as if the boy's body burned and took a step back. "Steve Rogers? You've
grown. A lot. You're..." He pressed his lips together to keep from sounding
like an idiot.
"Bigger?" the boy supplied.
"Hotter. I mean, taller! You're taller." Broader. He fled to the other side of
the island. Oh, God, this was a new low for him, hitting on his son's best
friend. His son's sixteen-year-old best friend. "I didn't recognize you."
Steve gave an aw-shucks grin that made Howard feel like a dirty old man. "Yes,
sir."
"Oh, God, please don't tell Tony I was flirting with you."
"Never!" Steve looked horrified. "He'd never stop teasing me!"
They both stared at each other, letting the horror of it wash over them, and
then Howard cleared his throat, trying to regain his equilibrium. "So you keep
in contact with Tony?"
"Yes, sir, we Skype every Thursday, after his chem lab, and sometimes I visit
him on the weekends."
"Are you interested in the sciences?"
Steve laughed. "No, I leave that to Tony. He loves MIT. I'm… I think I might
get into social work. That or the military."
"Social work or… the military?"
He shrugged. "My friend Bucky is doing a tour in Iraq."
"Ah, I see." Youthful exuberance.
"There's nothing wrong with trying to bring freedom to other parts of the
world." Steve scowled and Howard checked a sigh. "You have to think so!"
"Why? Because I'm the top weapons contractor for the military?" He snorted at
Steve's naiveté. "The military pays top dollar for my weapons, kid. It keeps me
in Italian shoes and this lovely home."
"I don't believe that's your only reason. You're better than that."
Steve looked so earnest, so young, that Howard was suddenly tired. He almost
wished he were better than that. "You're the only one who thinks so."
Steve stared at him for a moment, his head tilted slightly, as if he were
trying to puzzle something out. Then he flushed slightly and shoved his hands
in his pockets. "Mr. Jarvis said I could make myself a snack after I did my
job."
"Well, if Jarvis said it was all right, who am I to say no?" He just needed a
clean glass for his bourbon.
"I was gonna make a sandwich. Do you want one?"
He opened his mouth to say no, then stopped. "Oh, why the hell not. It'll soak
up some of the booze."
Steve grinned at him and he found himself grinning right back; God, he was
playing a dangerous game. Steve turned and opened the refrigerator. "Ham or
pastrami?"
"What sort of New Yorker do you take me for? Pastrami!" Howard pulled up a
stool and sat at the island. "So how are your…" Did Steve live with both
parents? He couldn't remember. "How's your family?"
Steve looked over his shoulder and gave Howard a knowing grin. "My mom's fine,
Mr. Stark. Though her job at the hospital keeps her busy."
"That's right, she's a…" He should probably pay attention to these sorts of
things. "A nurse!"
"Good guess. Mustard?"
"Yes." He watched Steve move around the room. "I think you know this kitchen
better than I do."
"Tony and I spent a lot of time in here when I visited. Mr. Jarvis would always
make us cookies. He'd let us help sometimes." Steve deftly put together the
sandwiches. He licked mustard from his thumb: Howard's mouth went dry.
"You haven't been by in a while." Howard stared down at the marble of the
island and frowned. "You were sick."
"Yeah." Steve slid Howard's plate towards him. "Yeah, I was sick."
He looked up, concerned. "But you're better now?"
Steve nodded. "Because of my mom's job, she got me into these clinical trials.
Doctor Erskine's work was revolutionary."
"I remember that." The military, and SHIELD, wanted to use Erskine's work for
other applications, but the doctor declined. The man's heart was in pediatrics.
"The trials weren't very successful."
"No, they weren't. It worked on me and one other kid, Isaiah Bradley. He just
needed some more time to get it right but…"
"He was murdered."
Steve bit his bottom lip and nodded. "He told me and Isaiah… he said we should
work hard to be good men. "
Howard smiled. "I'm sure you won't have any problem with that, Steve."
The boy blushed and stared down at his sandwich. "Thank you, Mr. Stark. That
was a very nice thing to say."
"It happens." He reached over and ruffled Steve's hair. "Eat your sandwich,
kid."
"I'm sixteen!"
Howard sighed and mumbled, somewhat regretfully, "Don't I know it."
Steve's eyes widened in shock, but just as Howard was about to backpedal, the
kid smiled shyly.
He picked up his sandwich and took a big bite. Maybe if his mouth was full,
he'd stop making an idiot out of himself.
*****
Howard wasn't paying attention to anything but the engine laid out on his
worktable. There was something off about the timing; he just needed to figure
it out. He picked up a wrench, then did a double take when he saw something
move out of the corner of his eyes.
"Holy fuck! Steve, you scared the hell out of me." He pressed a hand to his
chest and sucked in a deep breath.
"Sorry, Mr. Stark." Steve looked curiously at the machinery. "What is this?"
"It's one of my plane engines. How did you get in here?" Was there some sort of
security breach in the system?
"Oh, Tony gave me access about three years ago." Steve picked up a bolt and
frowned: Howard didn't sigh because of course Tony gave him access, the little
shit. "Can I have the leftover Chinese in the fridge?"
"That's fine." Howard frowned and snatched the bolt from his hand. He had given
himself a good talking to after Steve left yesterday. "Steve, you shouldn't be
down here. There are some very sensitive projects—Will you please stop touching
my engine!"
Steve pulled his hand away from the engine and clasped them behind his back.
"Sorry. Would you like to eat with me? It looks like you could use a break."
"Steve, I don't think that's a good idea."
"You don't think food's a good idea? Food is always a good idea." Steve tilted
his head and smiled. "Come on, Mr. Stark, you must be hungry. If you're
anything like Tony, you probably haven't had anything since this morning. I'll
let you have all the leftover chow mein."
"Steve…" How the hell was this kid real? "Fine, I could use a break." God, his
instincts were telling him that this was a bad idea. But he could admit to
himself that he had the impulse control of a toddler. He just hoped that he was
reading Steve wrong.
"Great! Get cleaned up and I'll heat up the food." Steve patted his cheek; a
jolt of heat ran up his spine.
He was in such fucking trouble.
Howard took his time cleaning up and by the time he was done, he had his
resolve back. He was going to eat and then send Steve on his way. He was an
adult, dammit, and Steve, Steve was a fucking kid.
When he walked into the kitchen, Steve was already eating. "You took too long,"
Steve said apologetically.
Howard sat down and picked up his chopsticks. "It's all right, I remember being
sixteen."
"Really?" Steve cocked his head and grinned; Howard grinned back.
"Yes, I do, smartass." He took one of Steve's eggrolls.
"Hey!" Steve curled an arm around his plate, glaring, and Howard laughed.
"So how was school today?"
Steve shrugged. "There was a fight at school and we had to stay in our fourth
period class for the whole afternoon while the cops interviewed people."
"Cops? That sounds… dangerous."
"Not everyone can go to a boarding school in Switzerland."
Howard snorted. "Tony was there for three months before they kicked him out.
*And* I had to buy them a new state of the art science lab."
"He hated those boarding schools." Steve shoveled rice into his mouth.
"Those boarding schools are what got him into MIT." Howard gestured with his
chopsticks.
"His brain is what got him into MIT." Steve slid off the stool. "Do you want a
Coke?"
"No." And why were they even talking about Tony's boarding schools. It was none
of Steve's business where he and Maria chose to send their son to school. "It
was his mom's idea. She loved her boarding school. She still keeps in touch
with her schoolmates."
There was a crack and a hiss as Steve opened his can of soda and drank deeply.
Howard stared at his chow mein.
"Do you do a lot of flying, Mr. Stark?" Steve plopped back down onto his seat.
"Not as much as I'd like. I go up every few months."
"I bet it's great up there. Tony loves it."
"Well, maybe—" He closed his mouth and stifled the rest of the sentence.
"You have sauce in your mustache." He wiped at with a napkin, but Steve shook
his head. "Here, let me." Steve leaned over and brushed his thumb over Howard's
upper lip.
Howard held still, his breath catching in his throat, his hand clutching at his
napkin as lust curled in his belly.
"Got it," Steve said, almost breathlessly, and licked at the smear of sauce on
the pad of his thumb.
"Steve," he said, his voice hoarse. "You… I should go back down to my
workshop."
"You haven't finished your food." Steve got to his feet and walked over to
Howard. "Aren't you hungry?"
Oh, yes, he was hungry. He was starved. Howard slid off the stool and turned to
face Steve. The edge of the island pressed against his back and he realized he
had made a strategic mistake by not retreating to his workshop. "You're
sixteen."
"Yes." Steve pushed the stool aside and pressed up against Howard. "You lost
your virginity at fourteen to your tennis instructor. You said you didn't
regret it."
Damn that Rolling Stones interview. "This is different."
"Why?" Steve curled his hand against the back of Howard's neck and leaned in.
"I'm not going to fuck my son's best friend." He pressed his hands against
Steve's chest. He meant to push Steve away, he really did, but instead he
clenched Steve's shirt and fought the urge to drag him up into a kiss. "It's
wrong."
"Okay." Steve pulled Howard's head closer and pressed their foreheads together.
"You're warm."
And hard, but so was Steve. "You should go home."
"I don't want to go home. I want to stay here with you." Steve canted his hips
forward and they both groaned.
"Steve, I'm not a good person." He could feel Steve's harsh breath against his
lips and he ached.
"I know. You'll break my heart, and make me cry. I'll probably write bad poetry
in my diary." Steve's mouth curved into a smile. "But think of the tell all
book."
He gave a choked laugh. "You have a smart mouth."
"A talented mouth," Steve said.
Howard could feel the heat of Steve's blush and that just made him harder.
Steve was so innocent. He bet that no one's had Steve's mouth or ass. At that
thought, he groaned and gave in to his baser impulses; he pulled Steve up into
a kiss.
It was obvious that Steve had no idea what he was doing, but Howard had enough
experience for the both of them. He hadn't had a virgin in… God, he's never had
a virgin before. The idea thrilled him more than it should.
Still he… He broke the kiss. "Steve, you're sixteen. You can't give consent.
You…"
Steve shut him up with sharp nip to his bottom lip and a grind of hips.
"Bedroom. Please, Howard. Please!"
How the hell was he supposed to say no to that?
It took them forever to make it up to his bedroom and they almost tripped about
a half a dozen times on the stairs, but it was worth it to see Steve naked.
The kid was beautiful: all unblemished skin over hard muscle, and a cock that
made Howard's mouth water.
Despite his body's insistence, he would have taken his time, but Steve… Steve
was a bit of a slut. Every word out of his mouth was a variation of "more" or
"faster" or "God, Howard, I'm not going to break." So he found himself pushing
into Steve quicker than he might have otherwise done.
Steve was tight, so tight he knew that Steve must be hurting. He tried to go
slow, he tried to make it easy, but Steve wrapped his legs around Howard's
waist and arched up.
"Come on, come on! Give it to me, give it to me hard!"
Howard gritted his teeth. "I'm going to hurt you."
Steve wailed at that and jerked his hips. "Yeah, yeah, hurt me."
And fuck, Steve couldn't… Howard shoved in and Steve let out a choked moan and
writhed. "You like that," Howard panted. "You like it when I hurt you? You a
slut for pain?"
Steve dug his nails into Howard's shoulders and worked himself on Howard's
cock. "Please! Yes, please! Give it to me, come on!"
So he did. He plowed into Steve hard and fast, spurred on by the filthy words
spewing out of the boy's kiss-swollen mouth.
It was too much, too fast; he could already tell that Steve wasn't going to
last very long. But, God, neither was he. So when Steve arched up, coming all
over his own stomach and chest, Howard wasn’t far behind. He shoved in one last
time and groaned, his eyes screwed shut.
"Fuck, fuck." He carefully pulled out, peeled off the condom and tied it, then
tossed it towards the wastebasket. He gently checked Steve for bleeding, then
flopped on the bed. "You all right?"
"Mmm, hmm. Just sore," Steve said, his voice slurring.
He wondered if Steve wanted to cuddle. He wondered how long he could wait
before going downstairs to his workshop; that engine wasn't going to fix
itself.
With a soft hiss, Steve climbed out of bed and began looking for his clothing.
"What are you doing?" Howard sat up.
"Getting dressed. I need to get home before dinner." Steve cleaned up wit a few
tissues from his jeans pocket, then pulled on his clothes.
"Oh." This was… unusual. It left Howard feeling a little unsettled. "Do you
want a ride home?"
"No, I'm fine taking the subway." Steve ran his fingers through his hair.
"Maybe I'll see you on Thursday?"
"Thursday? That's three days from now."
"That's when the plants need to be watered." Steve looked around. "Where's my
other sock?"
"Why don't you come by tomorrow?" He frowned and began straightening the
blankets.
"Busy. I've got a ton of math homework and I don't quite get it so... Oh, there
it is!" Steve picked up the sock, wincing slightly at the movement.
"I'm a mechanical engineer. "
Steve gave him a confused look. "Yeah?"
Howard sighed; was the kid being purposely obtuse. "I could help you with your
math homework."
"I don’t want to take you away from important work, Howard." He pulled on his
socks and stepped into his shoes.
"Don't you want to see me?" Howard asked, stung.
Steve stilled and blinked. "Of course I do. If you don't mind helping me, then,
all right. I'll be by tomorrow. Thanks."
"Sure." Steve turned and walked towards the door and again Howard felt a sense
of unease. "Hey!"
Steve stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Yeah?"
"I don't get a kiss goodbye?"
He sighed as if Howard had just asked him to take out the trash. He strode over
to the bed and gave Howard a brief kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow." When Steve was gone, he settled back on the bed and tried to figure
out what he had done wrong.
*****
Howard was never very good at waiting for things. When he was a child, he used
to sneak into his parents room at Christmas time to look for his gifts. He was
in his forties now, and that hadn't changed. He did, very much, want to unwrap
Steve.
Howard wanted to make Steve fall apart, make him fall in love. And wasn't that
horrible? Wasn't that the most fucked up thing a man like him could do? Make
some innocent boy fall in love with him; he'd break Steve's heart, even without
meaning to.
But he still wanted it. He wanted Steve to look at him adoringly with those
clear blue eyes and give that hundred-watt smile. Just for him. He could
remember what that felt like, when Maria was in love with him and he was in
love with her; it was better than the smoky burn of alcohol down his throat.
It was sick. He was sick, but he couldn’t help himself.
*****
He gave Steve just enough time to lock the front door. Then Howard pushed Steve
against door and kissed him hungrily. Steve made a soft, moaning sound in the
back his throat that went straight to Howard's cock, and parted his lips.
He plundered Steve's mouth until they were both panting and Steve was pressed
against him with desperate insistence.
He smiled and broke the kiss. "Hello."
Steve smiled back, his lips red and swollen. "Hi."
"How was school?" Howard cupped the back of Steve's head and licked at his
mouth.
"Oh! Um, I think my history teacher is having a nervous breakdown."
"Not your doing, I hope?" God, why did Steve taste so sweet?
"Nope. Did you miss me?" Steve tilted his head and rested his hands on Howard's
chest.
"Like air," he whispered.
Steve laughed and pushed him away. "I brought my homework."
He sighed. "You have no romance in your soul."
"Nope. Can we order pizza?" Steve asked over his shoulder as he made he way to
the kitchen.
Howard grumbled softly and followed him: this wasn't going as planned. "Won't
that ruin your dinner?"
"Are you kidding? I'm hungry all the time!"
Steve managed to deflect all of Howard's bids for making out with a gentle but
firm "homework first, then fun" which he suspected was something Steve's mom
said. He continued to grumble, but helped Steve with his current trig
assignment Steve caught on quickly, too quickly; Howard knew he wasn't a very
good teacher.
He narrowed his eyes and stared at Steve, his brain running though different
scenarios,
"What is it?" Steve frowned and looked at him. "Did I do the problem wrong?"
"No." He grabbed Steve by the chin and said softly, "Are you playing games,
little boy?"
"Am I—What?" Steve was a study in confused innocence and Howard felt unease
churn in his gut.
"Are you playing with me?" He gestured to Steve's schoolbooks with his free
hand. "You didn't need help with you homework, did you?"
Steve stared at Howard for a few moments, blushed and looked away. "I wasn't
trying to play games with you, Howard," he said softly.
"Then what is this?"
"I… You know my friend Bucky, the one in Iraq? He's had a lot of girlfriends,
you know? And he said that you should always keep cool and not get clingy,
especially in the beginning." Steve gave Howard a miserable look. "I was trying
to be cool, but I guess I'm not very good at it. I didn't want you to think
that I was some kid who was going to follow you around like a puppy. So I made
an excuse and, then you offered to help… I'm sorry."
Howard sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Too young, Steve was too young
for him. What the hell was he doing? "It's not your fault, Steve. It's not even
remotely your fault. But maybe you should go home."
"I have a better idea." Steve jumped off the stool and knelt on the kitchen
floor. "Teach me how to give a blow job."
His breath hitched in his throat and his cock swelled. "I—" Steve leaned
forward and mouthed him through his jeans, pulling a moan from him.
"You're a great teacher."
Howard grabbed Steve by the hair; he meant to pull him away. That's what he
meant to do, but Steve was mouthing and nuzzling his crotch like an over-eager…
Oh, hell, Howard didn't know. "Condoms are in the bedroom."
"We don’t need them."
"Like hell we don't! You might've been a virgin when we started this, but I've
had enough experience for the both of us." He tugged at Steve's hair. "Bedroom,
now. Come on, I think I even have some condoms without lube."
*****
Steve was tucked up against Howard, head against his shoulder. He ran his hand
through Steve's hair and smiled. "Are you all right?"
"My throat hurts," Steve rasped out.
"That's because you kept trying to cram my cock down your throat."
Steve kissed Howard's shoulder and smiled. "Was good."
"You worry me, kid." In the wrong person's bed, Steve could really get hurt.
"Slow down a bit, you have plenty of time to learn how to deep throat once you
have the basics."
"But I liked choking on your dick," Steve said, his face turning bright red.
"It got me hot. I came just from that."
"Yes, yes, you did." Howard cupped Steve's face and brushed a cheek with his
thumb. The memory of it made his cock valiantly struggle back to life. No, he
thought, not sixteen anymore. But Steve was; damn, the kid was going to kill
him.
"I wish I could taste you." Steve gently bit Howard's shoulder.
"Not gonna happen, pal." He pulled Steve in for a lazy kiss, but the kid had
other plans. He tongue-fucked Howard's mouth, moaning softly, and rubbing his
cock against Howard's hip. "God, you're such a slut. Your dick's already
dripping for me."
"Yeah," Steve moaned, sliding on top of Howard and thrusting against his
stomach.
"Come all over me, babe. That’s right, I want your come all over me." He rested
his hands against Steve's hips and dug his nail into the soft skin there. "When
you're done, I'm going to mark you. Bruise you all over, bite your thighs and
ass and neck. Gonna spread you open and lick you out."
"Howard." Steve mouth was sloppy against his. "Yes, please. B-Bruise me. B-
Bite…"
"I'll take care of you, Steve. When I can get it up again, I'm going to fuck
you. You'll have to stand all the way home on the subway." Steve loved that,
his hips jerking against Howard's stomach, cock dripping. Howard would give
anything to be able to get it up again right then and there, to shove into that
tight little hole and fuck Steve until he spilled between them.
"So good, H-Howard, you're so good. I…" Steve pressed his mouth against the
side of Howard's throat and *sucked.*
Howard arched up and dragged his nails down Steve's thighs; he felt Steve's
breath stutter against his neck. He turned his head and bit down on the curve
of Steve's throat, hard enough to taste blood.
Steve jerked against him, crying out sharply as he came.
He licked at the wound, feeling Steve shudder. "Okay?"
Steve slumped against him, and said, his voice hoarse and soft, "Yeah."
"We'll have to put antibiotic on the bite." He felt a bit sick; he'd never done
that before. He stroked Steve's back, his hands shaking.
"That felt good."
"I could have really hurt you," He gently urged Steve off of him; the boy moved
willingly.
"Oh." Steve's eyes closed and his mouth parted in a gasp; his desire sent an
ache through Howard's chest. "Oh, oh, yeah."
Dangerous boy, he thought. Beautiful, dangerous boy.
After a quick shower, he gently smoothed antibiotic cream over the scratches on
Steve's thighs, the red crescent-shaped wounds on his hips, and the bite, that
horrible bite on his throat.
"We'll have to make sure it doesn't get infected," he said and Steve smiled
sleepily at him.
"It hurts," Steve replied, happily.
"I know, I know." He kissed Steve gently on the mouth. "I'm going to have my
driver take you home."
"I don't mind taking the subway."
"I know, but you're in no shape for it. " He brushed the hair from Steve's
forehead. "You're wrecked."
"Mmm. You wrecked me." Steve leaned against him, nuzzling his ear. "Wanna stay
here with you. Right here with you."
Howard closed his eyes and inhaled sharply. What a lovely thought. "Your mom
would miss you, pal."
Steve sighed and pulled back. "I don't want that."
"No, I don't want that either. Get dressed. And when Jones takes you home, I
want you to go straight up to your apartment and go to bed."
"I will, Howard, I promise. Will you bite me tomorrow?"
"I'll fuck you and put more pretty bruises on your skin."
Steve nodded and got dressed; his movements were languid, as if he were
sleepwalking. Watching him made Howard taste copper.
*****
Despite Steve's sleep-eyed contentment, guilt, hot and sharp, gnawed at Howard.
There was blood on the sheets, rust-colored streaks that were still tacky.
"When do you have to head home?" he asked, to take his mind off the guilt.
"Mom's working a double-shift tonight, so as long as I'm home to pick up the
phone for her ten o'clock curfew check, I'm good."
"When is she supposed to be home?" Howard ran his fingers through the sticky
mess on Steve's belly; there was blood under his nails.
"Sometime after I leave for school tomorrow." Steve shrugged and stroked
Howard's mustache with his thumb.
"She leaves you home alone?" In that neighborhood? Anything could happen to
Steve.
"I'm not a kid, Howard. Besides, not everyone's rich." He grinned and said,
teasingly, "Some people have to work for a living."
Howard wasn't amused. "How often does she leave you home alone overnight?'
Steve frowned. "Leave it, Howard."
"No," he said, unsure of why he was latching onto the idea that Steve's mother
might not be so perfect after all. "It's not safe for you to be home alone.
There could be a fire or a burglary or… or an emergency!"
"She's working, not... not messing around! She takes double-shifts so we can
eat and pay bills!" Steve sat up, his hands clenched.
"It's irresponsible!"
"Oh, like you're one to talk!"
"I have always made sure that Tony is safe!"
"So does my mom." Steve kicked off the blankets and got out of bed. "You don't
have any right to criticize her. You're not exactly Father of the Year."
That stung. "You don't know what you're talking about."
Steve laughed and began pulling on his clothes. "You're kidding, right? Tony's
my best friend. He tells me everything."
"Tony exaggerates." He rose up on his elbows.
"Yeah, he does, but not about you… Not about…" Steve clenched his jaw and
stared at the far wall.
"Not about what?"
He looked at Howard. "Do you know how many times he's called or visited, in
tears, because of something you said? You make him feel bad about himself. You
make him feel like he's not good enough for you. He thinks you don't love him!"
"What?" He sputtered, because that couldn't be true. Sure, he was hard on Tony,
but not excessively so. "You're being ridiculous! I—"
"I'm not! I'm not, Howard! When was the last time you went to any of his school
functions? The last time you spent Thanksgiving with him or Christmas? What
about the last time you called him to say hello. You said he was worthless!"
"I was just trying to motivate him!" The excuse was an automatic response
because, he couldn’t remember calling Tony worthless. Had he been drunk? The
thought made him sick.
"Motivated him? Motivate him?" Steve's voice rose on the last syllable. Steve
walked over to Howard, his face red with anger, and leaned over to stare into
his eyes. "You're a disappointment, Howard Stark, and no matter what you do,
you'll always be a terrible father."
His mouth opened in shock; he tried to think of some retort, some excuse, but
when he tried to speak what came out was a pained gasp.
Steve stood up straight and raised an eyebrow. "Are you motivated, Howard?" He
shook his head in disgust. "I'll be by on Tuesday to water the plants."
He watched Steve stomp out of the room, then he flopped back on the bed. He
wasn't a bad father. Was he?
He was restless all evening, he couldn't even concentrate enough to get some
work done, and after he crawled into bed that night, he tossed and turned. He
tried to come up with a moment, one moment where he complimented Tony or had
given him some sign of affection, but nothing came to him.
He was tempted to call Maria and demand to know if he was a bad father. He
didn't, though, because he knew what her response would be: yes, and you were a
lousy husband and a terrible lover.
Thirteen years and she was still bitter about it. He couldn't blame her; he had
been a terrible husband and he hurt her badly
He rubbed his eyes and pulled the blankets over his head. Damn Steve. What did
he know? He was a sixteen-year-old boy who didn't know a thing about how the
real world worked.
And… and what Steve said still hurt. Did Tony carry the pain of Howard's words
this way?
Damn, damn, damn, damn!
Howard picked up the phone, woke his driver, and told him to have the car ready
by eight. He was taking a trip to Cambridge.
*****
He managed to hack into MIT's computer systems – sloppy, their security systems
were very sloppy- and find Tony's class schedule.
When Tony saw Howard, he did a double take and gave him a confused smile. "Dad?
What are you doing here?"
"I felt like lunch. You hungry?" Howard shrugged and clapped Tony on the
shoulder.
"Sure, but… Is everything okay? Is Jarvis all right? Is Mom?"
"Everyone's fine, Tony. I just… I wanted to see you." He gently steered Tony
away from the crowds of students trying to get out of the lecture hall.
"Why?" he blurted out.
"Because you're my son."
Tony narrowed his eyes. "Are you drunk?"
"No, I'm not drunk. And can we please not do this here. Can you see the tabloid
headlines, Tony, because I can."
"Fine. There's this great Tai fusion place not too far from here."
"Can we get take-out? I'd really like to talk in private."
"Sure, I guess." Tony kept giving him suspicious looks; Howard supposed that
was fair.
Howard made small talk as they made their way to the restaurant, asking Tony
how his classes were, if he was dating, he even pointed out a few of the
buildings he remembered from his time at MIT. Tony kept his answers non-
committal and Howard could see the tension in his body language.
Howard tried not to snap, but dammit, he was trying wasn't he? But Tony didn't
give an inch, hadn't since he was two years old.
They bought their food and after a brief discussion, walked back to Tony's dorm
to eat. The food was cold by the time they finally sat down to eat it, but it
was still good.
Howard watched Tony surreptitiously; he was still so… small and thin. Howard
had been like that at his age: all knees and elbows, too smart for his own
good, too much of a wiseass to keep his mouth shut.
He suddenly had the overwhelming urge to apologize to Tony for his genes.
"What's going on, Dad?" Tony set aside his food and crossed his arms over his
chest.
Tony looked so very young. If he ever found out that someone was fucking Tony
the way he was fucking Steve, he'd cut off the bastard's balls. He let out a
shaky breath and took a swig from his bottle of water. Way to be a hypocrite,
Howard, he thought.
"Dad, you're seriously scaring me."
All right, he just needed to bite the bullet and do this. God, he needed a
stiff drink. "You know that I love you, don't you, Tony?"
For a moment, Tony looked amused. "You are drunk!"
"Oh for—I'm not drunk!" He rubbed his face. "I want to have a serious
conversation with you. Can you please, try, for me?"
Tony blinked and shrugged. "Okay."
"It was… " Howard took another drink of water, then worried at his lower lip.
"It was brought to my attention that… maybe I haven't been the best father to
you."
He started at that. "Dad…"
"No, no, let me say this. I've been practicing this the whole way here, so let
me get it out." He stared out the window; he couldn't look at Tony when he said
this. He clasped his hands together and fought the urge to hug himself. "Your
grandfather was a horrible dad. I mean, he's a horrible grandfather too, but
having him as a father was a nightmare. He… He beat me. He beat me every chance
he had. He said it would make me tougher, more resilient, more… more." He
shrugged and glanced at Tony; he tried grinning. "I think he just wanted to
beat the fag out of me. Joke's on him."
"Dad, I…" Tony lifted his hand, as if he wanted to touch Howard. But he didn't,
he let it drop instead. "I didn't know."
"Of course not. This isn't something you tell your kid as a bedtime story. I'm
tell you this now because, I want you know that I didn't have the greatest role
model, and also because, when your mom told me that she was pregnant, I
promised myself I would never hurt you the way he hurt me. I would never hit
you."
"And you haven't." Tony grinned. "Not even when I deserved it."
"No one deserves that, Tony. No one." He took a deep breath. "Anyway, I don’t
think it really matters that I didn't hit you, because I still hurt you, didn't
I? I forgot that it wasn't just the beating that hurt. It was the words, too."
His voice broke and he cleared this throat. "You're weak, you're stupid, you're
useless…"
"You're a disappointment," Tony said, quietly.
"Yes. You're not any of those things, Tony. You're not and I'm sorry that I
said you were. I'm sorry that I hurt you, I'm sorry that I made you feel bad.
Because I love you and I'm proud of you. Someday, you're going to change the
world in ways I can't even imagine. " Howard reached over and touched Tony's
shoulder. "You're my greatest creation, kid."
Tony nodded, looking a little teary-eyed. He sniffled and rubbed his nose with
the back of his hand. "I still say your drunk."
Howard smiled "Smart ass."
"Yeah, I get it from my dad. My brains, too."
"You better believe it." There, that wasn't so bad.
Tony was quiet as he picked at a hole in his jeans. "So, who brought it to your
attention? Mom?"
Howard snorted and considered lying, but in the end decided honesty was
probably the best policy. "Your friend Steve. He's watering the plants while
Jarvis is on vacation. Anyway, I inadvertently insulted his mother and he had a
few choice words for me."
"Wow, dad, it must have been pretty bad. Steve doesn’t lose his temper very
often. But when he does, watch out!" Tony actually looked a bit impressed.
"I got that, thanks." Howard gestured to Tony's food. "Eat. I want a tour; I
haven't been on campus in years."
*****
There was an emergency at work on Monday that carried over to Tuesday, so he
wasn't going to get to see Steve. But he left a note of apology, some money for
food, and his cell number because, evidently, he was pathetic and also sixteen.
When he got home that night, there was a plate of leftover Indian for him in
the fridge and on his note, scrawled in Steve's handwriting, was a phone
number.
Howard didn't bother with the food, but he did grab the note before heading
upstairs to bed. He undressed, crawled under the sheets, and contemplated
Steve's number. Was it a home phone or cell phone? Was Steve asleep at – he
checked the time – at midnight?
He sighed and grabbed his smartphone. After a slight hesitation, he punched in
the number.
It was picked up after the first ring. "Hello," said Steve, in a low whisper.
"Hey, it's me. Did I wake you?" He closed his eyes and imagined Steve in bed,
naked and sleep tousled; his hand automatically slid towards his cock, but at
the last minute he stopped himself. Talk, they should talk.
"No, but my mom's home, so I have to be quiet. I'm supposed to be asleep."
"Okay." He sighed; this was the part he hated. "I'm sorry. I should never have
criticized your mother."
Steve was silent at the other end of the line.
"You still with me, pal?"
"Yeah. Yeah. Um, apology accepted. I should probably apologize, too, I guess,
but I got you to talk to Tony. He called me after you left and he was pretty
happy."
"Good, I'm glad." And he really was. "Are you coming by tomorrow?"
There's another long pause before Steve said, "If you want me to."
"Of course I do. I…" Howard hesitated and he wasn't sure why. It wasn't as if
this was going to be a big admission. "I've missed you."
"I 've missed you, too." Howard could practically hear the smile in Steve's
voice.
"Then come by tomorrow."
"I will. I better go before my mom hears me. Good night, Howard."
"Yeah, good night. I—" He closed his lips against the words that almost spilled
from his mouth and tried again. "I'll see you tomorrow."
*****
Howard dropped the blueprints of his hover car on the worktable with a sigh and
stared at Steve, who was sitting across from him, nose in a sketchbook,
scribbling furiously.
"I'm bored," he announced.
"Mm, hmm." Steve didn't even look up.
"Steve, I'm bored!" His voice rose and he let the 'bored' drag on for a few
seconds.
"Well, now I know where Tony gets it from," Steve mumbled. "You've got about a
hundred unfinished projects in front of you."
"I'm still bored." He looked over at the sketchbook. "What are you doing?"
"I've got an art project due on Monday. And I need to finish it. Give me
another hour with it, then we'll go upstairs."
"And risk Jarvis glaring at me. No, thank you."
"Big baby." Steve frowned at his notebook and huffed softly.
"He doesn't blame you for… us." Howard stole Steve's pencil; that make him look
up. "Still bored."
"You've got that project to finish for the military. If they don't have it by
the end of next week, they'll have a fit."
"It'll get done." He blinked. "Wait, how do you know about that?"
"Corporate espionage. I've been looking through your things; I'm thinking about
selling several of your projects to the Chinese. " Steve rolled his eyes. "Or
maybe I was in the bedroom when you were talking to one of your board members."
"Oh, right. I—"
"I know, I know. You're still bored." Steve closed his sketchbook and crossed
his arms over his chest. "Do you want to go upstairs now? I'll shield you from
Mr. Jarvis."
"While that is a wonderful proposition, and one I plan on taking you up on
later, I was thinking about something a little different." He grinned at Steve.
"How would you like to go flying with me?"
Steve's eyes widened slightly. "Really? Are you serious?"
"Yes. It'll be fun."
"Yeah! I'd love to!" Steve's cheeks flushed with excitement and he grinned
wildly at Howard.
"You're beautiful," he said, just to see Steve go bright red all the way to the
tips of his ears.
*****
Howard loved flying; it was the only time, outside of his workshop, where he
felt truly free. Sometimes, when things were particularly stressful, he wished
he could just fly away from his life, from everything.
"So what do you think?" he asked Steve, who was staring out the window,
enraptured.
"How do you not do this all the time? It's amazing!"
Howard's chest ached and he fought the urge to reach out and draw Steve close.
"It is, isn't it? When I was kid, I wanted to be a pilot."
Steve turned to look at him. "What happened?"
He shrugged a shoulder. "I grew up."
"That's not true," Steve said, teasingly.
Howard laughed. "No, it is, it is. My dad hated the idea; he wanted me to focus
on mechanical engineering. And in my family, at least when I was growing up, my
dad's word was law. By the time I was old enough to make my own decisions,
there was business, my marriage, and then Tony came along. I had obligations."
"And now you only take your plane up a few times a month?"
"If I'm lucky."
"You really love flying, don't you?" Steve sounded slightly surprised.
"It's like taking a breath after you've been underwater for a long time." He
took a deep breath. "It feels good. It feels like being alive. You want to give
it a try?"
"Maybe next time. I just wanna watch you today."
Howard flushed and fought the urge to squirm. He glanced at Steve, who was
giving him a bright smile. "Okay."
*****
Howard's smartphone vibrated and he glanced at it, resisting the urge to pick
it up and check the incoming text message he knew was from Steve.
He'd been texting Howard all morning. Nothing important, just little messages
like "if you really liked me, you'd buy our school comfortable chairs" and
"Arnie keeps poking me with his pencil." The worst was, "what are you doing?"
It was distracting; Howard used to have better discipline than this.
It buzzed again and his fingers twitched.
No. He picked up the file in front of him and began to read through it. He had
fifteen minutes before his conference call with Fujikawa. He was carefully
skimming the pages, when the door to his office opened and Peggy came striding
in.
Howard raised an eyebrow as she sat down and crossed her arms over her chest.
"I'd love to talk, Peggy, but I've got an important call in about fifteen
minutes."
"Thirty, Fujikawa is running late. And we need to talk."
"All right." He set down the file. "Well, what can I do for my head of
security?"
"You can let me do my job." She leaned forward. "After that debacle with
Hammer, did you or did you not give me permission to investigate your lovers?"
He smiled blandly. "I did."
"And yet here we are." She sighed. "I know the signs, Howard."
"Signs?"
"Don't play dumb with me. I've known you too long for that."
He shook his head and gave her an innocent look.
"Fine, if you really want me to list the signs, I will. You leave work early,
you're inconspicuously absent from the tabloid news, the brain trust down in
the labs haven't seen you for weeks. And you keep staring at your phone
whenever it buzzes. Normally, it'd be shoved in your desk somewhere. Now, I
need a name."
Howard slowly licked his lips and did *not* glance at his phone as it vibrated
again. "No, you don't."
"Are you denying that you have a new lover?" Peggy raised an eyebrow.
"No, but I'm telling you that he isn't going to be a problem."
"That's not for you to decide."
"Actually, I think it is." He gestured around him. "It's why I have the biggest
office and my name is on the building."
"Either give me a name or I'll find out for myself," she said, her voice going
hard.
"Peggy—"
"No, Howard. You hired me to protect your interests and those of the board of
directors. And don't threaten to fire me; we both know that's not going to
happen. Give. Me. A. Name."
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He knew her, she wasn't going to
give up on this. And she was right, even if he wanted to fire her, the board
wouldn't let him. She was much too valuable an asset.
"This doesn't go any further." He opened his eyes. "Swear to me."
"Now you're scaring me." She sighed when he glared at her. "I swear."
Howard swallowed hard and he clenched his right hand; what he wouldn't do for a
drink. "Steve Rogers."
Peggy laughed. "Like Tony's friend." He just stared and her laughter died away.
"Oh, for… Tell me you aren't."
He stared down at his hands.
"Jesus Christ, Howard! All right, this is all right. We can handle this." She
took a steadying breath. "You have to end it. You have to end right now. I'll
talk to him. I'm sure I can appeal to his sense of reason. If not, well, he'll
be starting college in a few years. I'm sure Stark Industries can provide some
sort of scholarship for the young man."
"I'm not breaking it off," he said softly.
"Like hell you're not! Howard, the boy's sixteen. If word gets out about this,
and trust me, it always does, your money won't be able to save you from all the
bad press. With your reputation, you'll be crucified. And let's not discuss the
legal implications."
"We're careful." He felt sick to his stomach. He felt… he felt tired.
"You don't know how to be careful, Howard." She reached over and touched his
hand. "Let me take care of this for you."
He shook his head and in a very clear voice said, "no."
"I know you think you love him," she began and he laughed.
"You don't know what I'm thinking."
"Howard, this is madness."
"I know." He rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand. "Don't you think I
know that? But I can't… I can't let him go."
"All right. Well, let me talk to him, at least. Not to dissuade him, but to…"
She pressed her lips together.
"To make sure I'm what he really wants," he finished for her. To make sure that
he wasn't coercing Steve in some way. .
"As a precautionary measure." She smiled reassuringly, but he wasn't fooled
"Purely for my own edification."
"He usually comes by after school. About four thirty, four forty-five."
"I'll talk to him today."
Howard nodded and watched silently as she got to her feet and walked towards
the door. His phone shook against his deck and he picked it up to read his
message.
I miss you, it read. He wrote back 'I miss you too.'
*****
"What was that?" Steve asked as Howard walked into the living room.
"What was what?' Of course, he knew was Steve was asking, but he wanted to see
how Steve would phrase it.
"Ms. Carter interviewed me again." Steve slid his arms around Howard's neck and
kissed him softly.
"She's interviewed you before?" He sighed and leaned into the kiss.
"A couple of times when I was younger, just to make sure people weren't
harassing me for information about Tony. But… these questions were weird."
"She just wanted to be sure that you weren't taking advantage of poor little
me."
"Oh, well, then I'm in big trouble because I told her I was in it for your big
wallet and your big… " Steve waggled his eyebrows, his ears turning red.
Howard laughed and hugged him tightly. "Well, that is a problem."
Steve sighed dramatically and for a moment Howard couldn't breathe because it
was all too much. What he felt was too much for him to contain.
"I love you," he said, his voice trembling.
Steve smiled and it was like the evening's first taste of champagne: bright,
fresh, and oh, so heady. "I love you, too."
*****
"Let's do something different today," Steve said as he sprawled out on Howard's
bed, naked and cheerful, his body flushed.
Those words always brought a sense of excitement to Howard, followed hard by a
deep pang of fear. Steve loved pushing his limits, loved pushing his buttons.
The last time Steve had said that, Howard wound up fucking him on the hood of
the Saleen. Getting the scratches fixed had cost a fucking fortune.
"How different?" he asked hoarsely, as if it made a bit of difference.
Steve blushed and, not for the first time, Howard wondered if he'd somehow
found a way to do that at will. Steve licked his lips and lifted his hands over
his head. "Tie me up?"
"No." Howard knelt between Steve's spread legs.
"We could use one of your ties."
"Do you know how much my ties cost?" Besides… "I said no."
"I brought rope, too. It's in my bag. Or… do you have handcuffs? Those kind…
you know, with the fur?" Steve squirmed and looked at Howard with wide innocent
eyes that he *knew* was an act.
"You're not listening to me. I said no." He leaned over, placing his hands on
either side of Steve's head and kissed him.
"Why not?" Steve slid his hands along Howard's sides. "If I was tied up, you
could do whatever you wanted to me."
"I could do that now," he said and the sick truth of that made his cock surge
to life.
"Yeah." Steve let out a breathy little moan. "Something else then?"
"What did you have in mind?" Because, he'd learned weeks ago that Steve
*always* had something else in mind.
Steve cupped the back of Howard's head and wrapped his legs around Howard's
waist. He whispered, "A game. You'll like it."
He almost said no again, just on principle. "All right."
Steve let out a little huff of breath and shivered slightly. "I love you so
much," he whispered in a tiny voice. "So much. I'd do anything for you.
Anything you wanted me to do. Daddy."
Howard's whole body jerked, as if he'd been given an electric shock, and he
gasped. No, he thought. No, no, no.
"Please, touch me. Daddy, please. I know you want to." Steve was using that
little boy voice he loved hated so much, the one that left him aching and
ashamed. "I see the way you look at me."
"Steve," he whispered in a choked voice. "N—"
Steve pulled him in for a kiss that was as clumsy and awkward as the first
time. It was dirty and it was wrong and later Howard would drink himself into a
stupor to forget about it.
"Please, daddy?" Steve put all his own shameful need into those two words and
Howard thrust against him, making them both moan. "Make me feel good. Touch me
and make me feel good. I won't tell."
Howard sobbed against Steve's mouth, hating him as much as he loved him. "I'm
going to break you apart for this," he said. "I'm going to fucking shatter
you."
Steve's eyes fluttered closed and he moaned. "Daddy."
*****
"Don't ever do that again," he said, as Steve snuggled against him.
"Didn't you like it?"
"I mean it!" He grabbed Steve by the shoulder and shook him. "Don't you ever
call me that again."
Steve lifted his head and frowned. "That really upset you, didn't it?"
"Yes, yes, it damn well did!" He swallowed hard.
"I'm sorry. I won't call you that again." Steve rested his head against
Howard's shoulder.
"You promise?" He stroked Steve's hair.
"Scout's honor." Steve lifted his hand and made the gesture.
*****
Howard's world came to a halt with a text.
It was an innocuous message, one he'd sent to Steve more than a dozen times
before: Coming over after school, babe?
When his cell alerted him to an incoming call ten minutes later, he let it go
to voicemail because he was in a meeting with his lawyers about an overseas
merger. Besides, Steve was supposed to be in class.
Steve kept trying to call, off and on, for the next hour.
When the lawyers finally left, he sighed and rubbed his temples. Talking to
lawyers always gave him a headache. He cell buzzed again and he sighed. He
picked up his phone and hit the answer button.
"Steve, babe, I'm busy. You know I've got back to back meetings all day."
There was a slight pause, then, a woman's voice spoke. "This is Sarah, Steve's
mother."
He drew in a quick breath and his whole body tensed. "Hello, Mrs. Rogers."
"Mr. Stark, we need to talk," her voice was soft, but there was an undercurrent
of steel.
Just like Steve, he thought.
"Yes, I suppose we do." He licked his lips. "I can make time for you today."
"I'll be there in a few hours." Then she cut the connection.
He set down his phone, opened the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled out a
bottle of whiskey and a glass.
*****
The first thing she asked was, "Are you sleeping with my son?"
He considered lying, then he considered telling her that they did everything
but sleep. But he was fucking her underage son and he owed her the truth and he
owed her consideration. "Yes."
The slap she gave him actually brought tears to his eyes and he was pretty sure
there would be a bruise.
"Well," he said, gently touching his cheek. "I deserved that."
"You deserve a hell of a lot more than that. I should call the police, but that
would only drag Steve's name through the mud!" She was trembling, but the look
in her eyes said she'd kill him if she could.
"I don't suppose it would help matters if I told you that I love him."
"He's a boy. And you… you're you."
Howard Stark: a drunk, a letch, an attention-seeking manwhore who defiled her
innocent little boy. He wanted to tell her that her son wasn't half as innocent
as she might believe.
"That's right," he replied instead. "I'm me."
"He deserves better than you." She clutched her purse and suddenly he felt
sorry for her. There she was, angry, helpless, facing him with nothing, while
he had his billions and his influence.
"He does. He does deserve better than me." But Steve didn't want anyone else.
That’s what he said.
"You'll break it off?"
"No." He leaned back in his chair and stared out the window. "I told you, I
love him. If you want it over, you'll have to convince him to end it."
She laughed bitterly. "Steve… If Steve thinks he loves you, he'll never break
up with you. You know that. We're the adults here, Mr. Stark. We have to do
what's best for him!"
"And why is breaking it off with me the best thing for him" He rubbed his face.
"You're right, you can't call the police. If you do, Steve's name will get out.
Hell, knowing Steve, he'll probably out himself. He'd make himself look bad,
just to make me look good. But Mrs. Rogers, Sarah, I can be good for him: I've
got money and influence. I can open doors for him in ways that you can't. He'll
be able to do anything he wants to do."
"Until you get bored, Mr. Stark."
"I know my track record is… abysmal, but this is different. Steve is
different." He leaned in and gave her a beseeching look. "I can take care of
him. Hell, I'll marry him if it makes you feel better."
"Marry—" She stared at him, her eyes wide with shock.
"I'd never hurt him. Never. You have to believe that," he said softly.
"I…" She gave him a long, considering look. "I do. Mr. Stark… Howard, I do."
Then Sarah took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "But just because you
won't hurt him, doesn’t mean there might not be negative consequences. For both
of you."
He nodded.
"I need to talk to Steve. On Sunday you'll come for dinner. I don’t want you to
have any contact with him until then."
"All right." He could do that. He could. "Do you want a drink?"
"God, yes."
*****
Howard wasn't sure he was dressed correctly. He considered going casual, but he
didn't want Sarah to think he wasn't taking this seriously. And he couldn't go
too formal because he didn't want it to seem like he was throwing his weight
around.
In the end Jarvis picked a nice charcoal suit with a light blue shirt for him
to wear. No tie, Jarvis said, but he tucked one into his jacket pocket, just in
case.
As he stepped out of the car, Jarvis handed him a bouquet of flowers and a
bottle of wine.
"I'll await your call, sir."
"Thank you, Jarvis," he said. "For everything."
“Of course, sir.”
Howard's mouth went dry and his heart pounded in his chest as he stared at the
apartment building in front of him. He didn't know why he was so worried. He'd
dined with senators and business leaders from around the word for heaven's
sake! This was just one little dinner. He could do this.
He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and headed inside. He had to walk
up four flights of stairs to Steve's apartment, which was ridiculous. Although,
he thought, he might want to start working out if walking up four flights made
him this breathless.
When he stood at the door to the apartment, he briefly considered turning
around and walking back downstairs and forgetting the whole affair. But just as
he was about to turn, the door opened and there was Steve, in slacks and a
button down shirt, his hair carefully combed.
"Hi," he said, grinning earnestly.
Howard grinned back; really, he was pretty pathetic when faced with Steve's
smile. "Hi."
"Are those for me?" Steve glanced at the flowers.
"No, your mom." And for a brief moment, he panicked because, should he have
brought Steve flowers? Was that the thing to do? Then Steve snickered at him
and he realized it was a joke. "Funny, very funny."
Steve let him in. "Relax, Howard. Everything's all right. Mom and I had a long
talk… Actually, we had a couple of long talks, and I think we have everything
sorted out. I think she understands."
Howard wished he felt as confident as Steve. He opened his mouth to say so,
when Sarah walked into the room. He reminded himself that he could do this. He
smiled at her. "Hello, Sarah. Thank you for inviting me to dinner." Please,
don’t eviscerate me.
"Hello, Howard."
“These are for you,” He stepped over to her and offered her the flowers and the
bottle of wine.
"Orchids, my favorite." She smiled at him; Steve had her smile.
He swallowed hard "The wine has to breathe a bit."
"I'll go open it, and put these in a vase. Have a seat." She gestured to the
couch and chair in the room. "Dinner will be ready soon."
"Mom's making lasagna." Steve grabbed Howard by the hand and dragged him to the
couch. He sat very close to Howard, maybe too close since Sarah could walk in
at any time. "We spent all week cleaning. She made me scrub the bathroom floor
with a toothbrush."
He really didn't know what to say to that.
"Are you all right, Howard?"
"Not particularly. I really need a drink." God, did he need a drink.
Steve sighed and cupped his face. Before he could stop it, Steve kissed him
gently. "I love you."
He took a deep breath and pulled away. "I love you, too."
Sarah walked back into the room and sat down in the chair. She stared at both
of them for a moment. "You didn’t have any problem finding the apartment
building, did you, Howard?”
He opened his mouth to tell her that Jarvis drove, but at the last minute,
changed his minute. “No, no trouble at all.”
Steve sighed and shook his head. “Wow. You’re both really bad at this.”
Howard glared at Steve. “This isn’t exactly familiar territory for me.”
“Or for me,” Sarah chimed in. “I thought that once you started dating I’d have
to worry about pregnancy and STDs, not... not billionaire playboys and the
paparazzi.”
“I know this isn’t ideal for you, Sarah, but—“
“No.” She made a stop gesture. “No, we’re not discussing this right now. I
would like to have a normal dinner with pleasant conversation first.”
Steve looked from his mother to Howard, then back again. “Next week Howard’s
doing a interview and photo spread for GQ.”
Howard groaned softly and wondered if he could use the tie in his pocket to gag
Steve.
*****
Steve was not a gregarious young man, but he did his best to fill the awkward
silences in their conversations. And if Howard was quieter than usual, they
could always blame it on the good food. And the wine. Thank God for excellent
wine.
When he was done, he wiped his mouth, and smiled. “That was the best lasagna
I’ve ever had.”
“Thank you,” Sarah said, then clasped her hands in front of her on the table.
"So." Howard took a sip of wine.
"So, I suppose we should get down to business." She brushed the hair back from
her face.
"Right. I—"
"No! No, Howard, you don't get to speak; you're going to listen. I'm making the
rules here. I get to decide what's best for Steve."
Howard glanced at Steve; he had his arms crossed over his chest and he was
sulking. "That… Alright."
"Rule number one, you make sure Steve gets home by curfew. That's ten on school
nights and midnight otherwise. Understood?"
"Perfectly."
"Rule number two, he only gets to spend time at your place when I'm working
evenings. And Saturday.”
Howard nodded; he would need to shift some things around but it was doable.
She swallowed hard and sighed softly. "Three: he's only allowed to stay the
night with you when Tony is there. And… you can stay the night here when I'm
working the nightshift."
"That seems… fair." He fiddled with his glass of wine. "Is that all?"
"If I think of anything more, I'll let you know. " She looked at Steve. "The
dishes, please, Steve."
For a moment, he looked like he was going to protest, but then he slumped in
his seat. "Yes, ma'am." He got to his feet, gathered up the dishes, and took
them into the kitchen.
Howard drained his glass and poured himself more wine.
"I don't want you drinking in front of him."
"I—I'm sorry?" He blinked at her.
"My husband was a drunk, Howard. I saw first hand what it did to him. It… I
loved him, but it was hell living with him. I don't want Steve to go through
that."
"I'm not—" He clenched and did his best to force aside the anger that was
welling up inside of him. Of course she’d be concerned about that. Everyone
knew about his drunken affairs when he was still married to Maria. Hell, half
the time he was in the news was because of some drunken fiasco.
"If you can't do it, then we're done here. And so are you and Steve." There was
steel in her voice and he had no doubt she would find a way to end their
relationship.
Howard licked his lips and crossed his arms over his chest. "I won't. Not a
drop. I promise."
"I hope you can keep that promise." Sarah stood up, clapped him on the
shoulder, then went into the kitchen.
A few seconds later, Steve came back into the room, and smiled at him."Wanna
see my room?"
Howard looked up at him and gave him a wan smile in return. "Sure."
Steve grabbed his hand and pulled him up. "I cleaned it for you."
"Even under the bed?" He gently squeezed Steve's hand and followed him towards
his bedroom
"Even under the bed."
"Well, it must be love." God, he was so tired.
Steve didn't respond, he just pulled Howard into his room and closed the door
behind them. It was what Howard imagined a typical boy's room looked like –
Tony was anything but typical—the wall were plastered with movie posters,
action figures lined the top of a bookcase filled with science fiction novels.
"What do you think?" Steve asked.
"Very nice." He was out of place here. So very out of place.
"Don't look like that. Please, don't look like that." Steve touched his face,
then gave him a fierce hug.
"Like what? How do I look?" Howard hugged back just as hard and pressed his
face against Steve's hair.
"Like you regret being here with me." Steve took a deep breath.
"I don't-- You're so young. Are you sure this is what you want? Are you sure
this mess is what you want?" He closed his eyes tightly and his voice shook.
"It's all right if it's not. It's all right to change your mind."
"I love you, Howard. You're what I want. You're everything I want." Steve
turned his head and pressed a kiss to the side of Howard's neck. "What about
you?"
Howard laughed because there was really only one answer he could give. "You're
stuck with me, kid. You're stuck with me for the long haul."
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