Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/88772.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Saiyuki
  Relationship:
      Sha_Jien/Jien's_Mother
  Character:
      Sha_Jien, Sha_Gojyo, Jien's_Mother
  Additional Tags:
      Dysfunctional_Family, Incest, Child_Abuse, Angst, Dubious_Consent
  Series:
      Part 4 of 7_Deadly_Sins
  Stats:
      Published: 2010-05-21 Words: 721
****** Taking Me Away ******
by theskywasblue
Summary
     It takes a lot of effort not to break.
Notes
     Written for the 7_Deadly_Sins Community on LiveJournal - Prompt:
     Greed; and inspired by The Tea Party's "Talking Me Away"
"You're my good boy…" His mother says this dreamy, half-asleep, stroking his
cheek with a hot, damp hand, "You would never leave me, would you?"
"No," Jien says, slow and patient, drawing her hand away and laying it on the
mattress. The truth is he wants to leave, to escape the prison of that room. If
he stays after she falls asleep she will wrap herself around him, heavy, hot
and demanding until he can barely breathe.
"You're my good boy," she says, "I love you so much."
"I know," he mumbles, watching as her eyes finally flutter shut and her
breathing evens out. For a moment it seems to stop altogether; then it is
steady and she is asleep.
The house is dark already; it has been for hours. He dresses in the kitchen and
wonders if Gojyo had anything to eat before he went to bed.
His little brother is asleep in his room, curled half on the bed, one leg and
one arm hanging off the edge, the blankets in a tangled heap around his torso.
Jien rolls him over onto his back, straightens the blankets and tucks him in.
The second he steps back Gojyo murmurs something and turns over, tossing the
blankets everywhere.
"For once, couldn't you just…" Jien begins, and then gives up. His head hurts,
his chest, his back, shoulders – everything hurts. He closes the bedroom door,
walks back to the kitchen table and sits in what used to be his father's chair
– it feels like another lifetime ago since anyone last sat there – puts his
head in his hands and tries not to break.
Most days it feels like someone is pulling at him, clawing at his skin, tearing
him apart; and as he sits with a needle and thread and stitches up the wounds
someone comes along from the other side with a pair of scissors and snips them
one by one.
"Dad…" he whispers, "Dad please…"
He doesn't even know what he's asking really. On some level he understands that
this is a prayer, and it's not really meant to be answered. He's gotten taller;
his feet touch the dirty patch of floor under his father's chair now.
"Jien?" Gojyo wanders into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes, hair tangled, and
face puffy with sleep, climbs into the chair which is meant to be his, but is
empty more often than not. All the chairs are empty most nights. No one sits
down to dinner anymore.
Did we ever? Jien wonders; was there ever a family here?
He can't remember. The house has become a strange place, full of shadows and
sorrow. If the family ever existed, the father has gone away now, the mother
has become something unrecognizable and the children are dead.
Now the ghosts of two brothers sit across from one another at the table and
don't know what to say.
"Jien," Gojyo's voice is too soft to break the silence; instead it works its
way around it, like a whispered breath, "I'm tired."
"Go back to bed then," Jien's voice is hoarse, crackling like dead leaves.
"I can't," Gojyo answers.
Jien stands, takes his little brother's hand, and leads him back to bed. As
tired as he is Gojyo doesn't fight the contact, although in public he would
never allow himself to be seen holding Jien's hand, no longer clings to the hem
of his brother's shirt, stretching it all out of shape.
"Go to sleep," Jien says softly as he tucks Gojyo in for the second time,
"please."
"Stay," Gojyo's hand curls around his wrist, soft but solid, incredibly strong,
"Stay Jien, stay with me."
Jien almost says yes, almost draws back the covers to crawl into the safety of
Gojyo's bed, to hold his little brother and fall asleep with his face pressed
into the feather-softness of crimson hair; but his mother's voice calls
suddenly, demandingly from the next room.
"Jien! Where are you Jien?"
Gojyo tugs at his wrist, looks at him, pleading, "Jien…"
Jien stands silent, biting his lip. Finally, Gojyo lets go and rolls over,
pressing his face into the pillow.
"I'm coming Mom," Jien calls finally, "it's alright, I'm here."
The last thing he hears as he closes Gojyo's bedroom door is his name,
whispered like a prayer.
"Jien…Please Jien…"
-End-
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