Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/10799184. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling Character: James_Potter, Remus_Lupin Additional Tags: Fluff, Marauders'_Era, The_Quidditch_Pitch:_School_Days, Slash, The Quidditch_Pitch:_The_Changing_Room, Ficlet, First_War_with_Voldemort, Explicit_Sexual_Content, Erotica Collections: The_Quidditch_Pitch Stats: Published: 2009-10-27 Words: 855 ****** Take Me or Leave Me ****** by brumeux [archived by thequidditchpitch_archivist] Summary Remus thinks he’s too dull for James. Notes Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at The_Quidditch_Pitch, which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on The Quidditch_Pitch_collection_profile. Author's notes: Author’s Note: The challenge from the LJ community “hp_100songs” was to write a series of songfics based on a given set of songs. I’ve included some relevant lines from “Take Me or Leave Me” here; the complete lyrics are linked_at_the_community if you’d like to see them.   (part of the series My Friend, My Lover, My Heart)  Take Me or Leave Me by Brumeux Ever since puberty, everybody stares at me, / Boys—girls, I can’t help it baby … Take me for what I am / Who I was meant to be … You are the one I choose … No way—can I be what I’m not But hey—don’t you want your girl hot! … ’Cause every night—who’s in your bed? Who, who’s in your bed, baby? … I look before I leap I love margins and discipline I make lists in my sleep … I hate mess—but I love you     It was Easter hols, and Peter and Sirius had both gone home, leaving James and me the sole occupants of our dorm room. James was improving the occasion by doing a slow strip tease. First, he pulled off his jumper and tossed it on his bed. Then as he unbuttoned his shirt—slowly—he started chanting, “I’m hot, I’m hot. Don’t you want your boyfriend hot? I’m hot. I’m hot. I just can’t be what I’m not. I’m hot.” His shirt followed his jumper, leaving his necktie in place. He danced a little closer. “A little full of yourself, aren’t you?” I said, grabbing for his tie to pull him closer. But he whirled away, leaving me with a handful of nothing. “Just facing facts.” He grinned. “Every since puberty everybody stares at me—boys, girls. I can’t help it, Remus. I’m just gorgeous.” He spun around again, dropping his trousers to the floor and stepping out of them gracefully. His erection stretched the white cotton of his y-fronts. By now he was wearing nothing else but the tie. “Well, I guess that’s true. So, gorgeous, what are you doing with a dull bloke like me?” He stopped dancing, stopped grinning. “What do you mean by that?” “Just facing facts,” I quoted back to him. “I’m dull. Nobody stares at me. I never think up pranks like you and Sirius. I study. I look before I leap. I like things neatly arranged, with a proper margin and a frame. I like order and discipline. James, I make lists in my sleep: I wake up and the study plan for the day, or whatever, is already there in my head. You’ve got to take me for what I am, and what I am is dull.” He sat down beside me. “I don’t ever want to hear you talking like that again,” he said. “You. Are. Not. Dull. Let me see if I can cover your points. “I stare at you. You may not set all hearts ablaze, but you have a smile that lights up a room, and a rather good-looking arse, and there are lots of things that are attractive about you. Not as gorgeous as me, of course—” he smirked “—but well above the masses. “You may not think up the pranks, but without you eighty percent or more of them would never get pulled off. You’re the one with the perfect charm or spell to do the job, almost all the time. And with your timetables or whatever, you make sure we’re all in the right place at the right time, and out of it before it becomes the wrong time. And, being cautious, you keep us out of the ones that would just be total disasters. “Yeah, you study. And a good job it is, too. If you didn’t study, the three of us would all be expelled. We may be bright enough to understand the material, but the classroom’s not the best place for us to take it in. “You’re not dull. You’re intelligent. You have a wonderful sense of humour, even if it is a bit—um—sardonic at times. You’re a wonderful, caring, teasing, talented lover. After all: every night—who’s in your bed? You are the one I choose.” My eyes were a little teared up. I never had understood what James saw in me. I wasn’t sure I understood even now, but at least I could let go of the insidious feeling that it was a random choice, or just that I was convenient. “And now,” he went on, “what do you plan to do about this?” He grabbed my hand and put it on the front of his briefs, where his lovely erection had wilted. “It’s all your fault, you know; you and your daft ideas of being dull. It was all ready for you before, and now look at it.” He stood up, shoved the y-fronts down and kicked them away. I looked. A drop of pre-cum sparkled in his pubic hair, but his cock? Poor shrivelled thing. I felt very guilty. “Yes, I can see reparations must be made,” I said, standing and straightening his tie before I kissed him. Then I dropped to my knees and took his limp prick into my mouth, where I sucked on it and licked it until it took on its proper proportions. I paused in my ministrations long enough to look up and say, “Love you, James.” “And I love you, too, Remus.” And then… Well, what happened then is between James and me, isn’t it? Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!