Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1180555.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Free!
  Relationship:
      Matsuoka_Rin/Tachibana_Makoto, Matsuoka_Rin/Nanase_Haruka, Nanase_Haruka/
      Tachibana_Makoto, Matsuoka_Rin/Nanase_Haruka/Tachibana_Makoto
  Character:
      Matsuoka_Rin, Tachibana_Makoto, Nanase_Haruka
  Additional Tags:
      Developing_Relationship, Teen_Angst, Tachibana_Makoto_Has_A_Large_Cock,
      Tags_Are_Fun, Tags_Are_Hard, No_pun_intended, I'm_Bad_At_Tagging, What
      Was_I_Thinking?, Threesome_-_M/M/M
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-02-12 Completed: 2014-08-03 Chapters: 8/8 Words: 31978
****** Superposition ******
by Shaed
Summary
     So, thing: Rin has a tiny crush on Makoto which will never, ever work
     out and Rin knows it. No, really. Because Makoto and Haruka are like,
     destined to be together. Even if his two idiot best friends are
     determined to think otherwise.
     At least when everything crashes and burns, Rin will have been the
     voice of reason in this madness.
     Maybe.
Notes
     I learned how to swim a long time ago as a kid, but it was for the
     sake of not drowning in the nearest body of water, not for
     competition or even fun. Frankly, I’m pretty hazy on the styles and
     theories, so there are probably mistakes. Sorry, I’m not sorry? Also:
     lazy editing alert.
***** Chapter 1 *****
                                 Superposition
                              A Free! Fanfiction


     Superposition: the combination of two or more physical states, such
     as waves, to form a new physical state in accordance with this
     principle.

Rin had several things to be grateful for, and knew it. Some things to make up
for, too, no matter what his friends said. Not many could nearly throw away
three best friends, only to have them stand by him and help him through the
lowest point of his life. He wasn’t thirteen years old anymore, and he didn’t
plan on making the same mistakes.
Besides which – he could admit it now – he’d really missed them all. Haruka,
Makoto, and Nagisa. He owed it all to Rei, really, which was why he’d started
giving him pointers on butterfly stroke. At first he felt awkward, but Rei was
a surprisingly determined pupil; what he lacked in natural talent, he made up
with sheer effort. And Haruka had looked first surprised, then pleased, if the
tiniest softening of his mouth was anything to go by. Nagisa, easily pleased as
ever, seemed happy just to swim together. And Makoto—
Makoto’s green eyes had widened slightly when he first offered to help Rei.
Then they’d softened to a smile only Makoto could make. The gentle crinkling of
the corners of his eyes, the warm sparkle that spoke of pleasure louder than
any words, the slightest curve of his mouth. A patented Makoto smile he hadn’t
seen in a long time. And Rin hadn’t been the only one who stared at Makoto when
he made that look.
See, most people tended to watch Haru. Couldn’t be helped: Haru stood out. In
the water, no one and nothing could be more graceful than Haru. Small wonder
Rin had zeroed in on Haru when they were children, when he was looking to
assemble the best medley relay team ever. And admittedly, it was Makoto’s
proximity to Haru that made Rin initially notice Makoto. Even Nagisa hung all
over Haru more than anyone else. But while everyone watched Haru, Haru...
Well, Haru watched Makoto. It was odd to realize this. While everyone was
looking at Haru, focused on Haru, Haru’s eyes kept straying back to Makoto, who
stood quietly to one side, content to let Haru take the spotlight. That was how
Makoto was. Giving, generous, and understanding. Even as children, when they
didn’t even know each other very well, Makoto had been the first to notice how
obsessed Rin was with medley relay. Makoto had been the very first one to go
along with him, and hadn’t even pressed for a reason. Just that it was
important to Rin was enough for Makoto. Once Makoto took up his cause, Nagisa
was quick to join, and then Haru – and he doubted even Haru himself remembered
this now – after Rin made his grand declaration to show him a sight he’d never
seen before, Haru had turned his head minutely to glance at Makoto, who gave
him an encouraging smile and a nod.
Truthfully, the reason he’d latched onto Haru wasn’t simply because Haru was
the best swimmer he knew. Haru represented success. Haru was strong,
unaffected, free. No matter what Rin said or did, Haru remained unruffled and
perfect, like the imperturbable surface of a beautiful lake. He could throw
stones to make tiny ripples, but soon those would smooth back a glassy calm. He
could tear into Haru and rage against him because Haru would be fine. He didn’t
have to feel guilty like he would with Makoto or Nagisa.
Now that he learned he could, in fact, hurt Haru, and have done so in the past,
Rin was more careful. But he’d always had a temper, and the defensive rage
built up inside him had years to accumulate. Even now, sometimes, it slipped
out despite his efforts to keep it firmly lidded. Not often. But far too
frequent for his liking. Rin didn’t want to hurt his friends. If possible, not
ever. When it inevitably happened, Rei would flinch minutely, then glare back
with redoubled ferocity. Nagisa would stare, wide-eyed, then start talking
brightly and quickly, determined to smooth things over. Haru never backed down
because Haru never backed down from anything, but Haru’s blue eyes would
shutter, like he wasn’t sure if Rin wouldn’t throw a punch while at it, and was
automatically bracing for it.
Makoto, though. Whenever Rin lashed out. Makoto’s eyes would grow just a tiny
bit wider, lips open and slack. Not in surprise and or hurt, but more like
regret. Then his brows would draw in a little, and Makoto’s expression would
turn gentler, like the one he wore around little Ran and Ren. Like he badly
wanted to reach out and ruffle Rin’s hair, maybe pull him into a hug. Not that
Makoto would – that was really a Nagisa thing, and once upon a time, a Rin
thing, but never a Makoto thing. (Or a Haru thing, but that went without
saying.)
That was the other thing Rin just didn’t get. For all his friendliness, Makoto
rarely ever touched others. He’d give Haru a hand to pull him out of the water,
and Haru would let him (only Makoto; Rin was watching). But that was about it.
The significance of Makoto’s offered hand wasn’t lost to Haru, or to Rin. Maybe
even especially not to Rin, since he always watched them and knew Haru only
watched Makoto back.
Sometimes – increasingly often lately – it made something clench tightly in his
middle.
Rin knew he was important to Haru. Maybe even special. Haru had certainly gone
out of his way for him, and more than once. But Haru turned to Makoto with such
unshaken, absolute trust, Rin wondered if Makoto really understood what he
meant to Haru.
Maybe that was unfair. This was Makoto, after all. Makoto was perceptive and
understanding. Surely Makoto knew Haru cared for him and trusted him like no
one else.
Even if the thought made him feel cold inside, like a child outside display
window at Christmas, forever watching, but never invited.
                                     * * *
Rin missed many things from his childhood. Bright-eyed dreams and optimistic
outlook in life, for one. But he really didn’t miss being called pretty, or –
when he hadn’t hit his growth spurt yet – being mistaken for a girl. Back when
he first moved to Australia, most of the boys in the school were taller and
more built than he was, and he’d been the butt of ribbing more than once in the
locker room for his slim build. Which became worse after it became clear he was
straggling behind everyone else. It was sort of annoying that Haru still looked
as pretty as ever and nobody gave him grief for that.
That he noticed things like that about his friends didn’t bother him. Anymore.
In Australia, it was another thing that used to send him over the edge. The
constant snide remarks whenever he found his eyes invariably drawn to muscled
backs and strong thighs, firm biceps and sculpted asses. He also knew he hadn’t
been the only one who found his eyes fixed more often to the men’s swimming
team than women’s. But any affairs were brief and more troublesome than they
were worth. Eventually he’d given up on relationships or even flings. That
didn’t mean his hormones had taken a similar vacation, however. Whenever his
sister blushed at her team, he couldn’t help but wholly sympathize with her.
Hell, the first time they properly practiced together, he’d taken good five
minutes gawking at Makoto’s abs, then another ten at Makoto’s incredibly
beautiful back. One tended not to notice Makoto’s back too much, since his
preferred style was backstroke. But damn, in the time they hadn’t seen each
other, Makoto had sprouted up. And talk about ripped. Both Nagisa and Rei had
beautiful bodies, too, but Makoto’s built frame was the kind one would have
found on statues once upon a time, when perfect bodies were worshipped as the
works of gods. And Haru...
Rin had spent enough time staring at where Haru’s slender waist melted into
hips, and those perfect, firmly muscled thighs, to retain any denial. He wasn’t
sure if Haru noticed the same about himself, however. That he looked at Makoto
a lot, that was. Especially lately. Which in itself wasn’t unusual for Haru,
but the way they lingered over Makoto’s body, heavy as any caress – that was.
The funniest part, though. Makoto stared at Haru almost as often as Haru stared
at him, but never at the same time. As far as Rin could tell, neither of them
had a clue the other stared back. The two of them really irritated him,
sometimes.
Which brought him to here and now.
“Oy,” Rin greeted as Makoto stepped out of the water, a casual hand slapping
Makoto’s back lightly. It was a friendly enough gesture, right? Guys did that
sometimes. “Nice. Your form’s improved,” he commented, fingers still sliding
over the muscled ridges of the shoulder blade, and lower.
“Ah, thanks, Rin.” Makoto gave him one of his dazzling smiles, then shook the
water out of his hair. “You’ve gotten amazingly fast yourself.”
And Makoto wasn’t noticing Rin’s hand still on the small of his back. Or at
least, not finding anything odd about it. “Thanks, I’ve been working on it. My
butterfly’s still better than front crawl, though. I need to improve on the
stroke speed.”
“Makoto.”
Cool blue eyes, mesmerizing as water. Just now, they resembled a stormy sea
more than a calm lake. “Yo, Haru. Want another race?” Rin asked. Just for the
hell of it, he kept his hand where it was, resting over Makoto’s lower back.
“I’ll beat you again,” Rin promised, and was intrigued to note Haru’s eyes
darken.
“Diving block’s that way.” There was a slight hint of frown on Haru’s face.
More interestingly, Haru wasn’t moving toward the diving blocks.
And Makoto, bless him, was looking at them from one to the other, utterly
oblivious. “Do you want me to give you the start signal again?” Makoto offered
with an indulgent smile.
“Yeah.” Haru’s eyes never left Rin. “Let’s go, Rin.”
“After you,” Rin offered generously. Haru stared at him for another few
heartbeats, then abruptly turned away to walk to the diving blocks. Rin let his
hand drop the moment Haru turned his back, and tried not to feel too smug. His
poor idiot friends were clueless. He really shouldn’t tease them so much. But
he hadn’t expected Haru to act possessive. Maybe Haru wasn’t as oblivious as
he’d assumed.
Once they hit the water, Haru surprised him by doggedly keeping abreast with
him. Maybe if Haru had undergone the same training regimen he would have
outdistanced Rin by now. But Haru hadn’t, and couldn’t. Besides, for once Rin
was enjoying himself. The water against his body felt more like a caress than a
drag, and he could almost feel the water parting for him at his fingertips.
Pulling one stroke after another was no longer the struggle it once was.
He hit the wall and broke the surface with a gasp. Next to him, Haru was also
gasping for air, hand pressed on the wall. For a moment all he could hear the
harsh gasps and roar of blood in his ears.
“Er, you two were so close that... Sorry, I wasn’t using a stopwatch, and I
couldn’t tell—”
Makoto. Haru didn’t look up. “Rin hit the wall just before I did,” he said
quietly.
Had he? Rin hadn’t noticed. He’d been too focused on the revelation that being
in water was once again something he enjoyed. He grinned widely, couldn’t help
it. And before, maybe Haru would have turned to him, maybe even congratulated
him. Haru had, the first time he lost to Rin. The second time, Haru had looked
stunned. This time, Haru didn’t look stunned or unmoved. He was just looking at
the wall. Like he was sulking, maybe.
“Good work,” Makoto said, a hand extended to Haru in a gesture repeated so
often, it was second nature. Haru took the hand just as automatically, letting
Makoto pull him out of the water. A second later, however, Rin blinked in
surprise when a hand entered his field of vision. “Both of you,” Makoto said,
flashing him a smile, and Rin had to blink, make sure Makoto was indeed
offering him a hand like he’d done for Haru only seconds earlier.
“Thanks,” he said, his throat suddenly tight. Makoto had a beautiful hand.
Large, strong fingers, with slender but corded muscles. Rin took the proffered
hand, and Makoto pulled him up, smooth and effortless, as if he was still the
scrawny little kid and didn’t weight a ton what with all the muscles he’d put
on since then. The sudden weight of his body outside the water made him sway on
his feet, just a little, and he felt Makoto’s hand tighten around his own,
keeping him steady.
“Careful now.”
Makoto's hand was warm. Shockingly warm. Was it because he'd been in water just
now?
"Water legs," Rin said weakly, suddenly awkward.
Makoto smiled at him and didn't let go. "Everyone gets that."
"Yeah."
Awkward. Seriously. Especially because Makoto still hadn't let go of his hand.
Not that Rin was objecting. In fact Makoto's strong fingers around his, palm
warm against his own, sent a pleasant jolt through his belly. He could
definitely stand more of the same.
The sudden sound Haru let out made him jump. An irritated glance in Haru's
direction turned into a startled one: Nagisa had latched onto Haru, and Haru
must have squeaked in surprise. Which was unusual. After all, Nagisa tackled
Haru practically every day. Usually, Nagisa's sudden attacks didn't get so much
as an eyeroll from Haru. But Haru's attention wasn't on Nagisa at all. Haru was
looking at Makoto and Rin, and more importantly, their still-joined hands.
Right. He was still holding Makoto's hand. Makoto who was Haru's oldest and
best friend before Rin ever came into the picture. The look Haru had on his
face reminded Rin of the time his mother gave Gou his favorite stuffed toy.
He'd loved Gou from the moment she was born, and it wasn't as if he'd minded
sharing anything with her. But the stuffed toy had been his favorite, something
he'd had since he was a baby and treasured for years. Seeing it plucked from
his bedside and placed on Gou's pillow – he had never forgotten how he felt at
that moment.
Rin knew he had to let go. Even if it was like a physical ache, the desire to
keep the warmth of Makoto's hand, Makoto's presence, Makoto's attention. He
wasn't that much of a bastard and the last thing he needed was to hurt Haru
again. Just then, Haru's eyes slid over to meet his own, and Rin swallowed. Let
go of Makoto's hand. Leaned back, enough to slide outside Makoto's personal
space. "Yo, Rei, wanna work on the butterfly?"
Rei looked taken aback. "You mean, together?"
Rin had offered tips and advices, but they hadn't actually swam together. But
hell, Rin wasn't going to let the boy remain the weak link in the chain, not
when Rei's team was also his own at heart. "Yeah, together," Rin offered.
Rei considered him for a moment, then nodded. "That's fine."
Rin could feel eyes on his back as he moved away from the group. Nagisa,
frankly assessing. Makoto, openly pleased. And Haru...impossible to read.
Rin turned to the water, snapped the elastic band of his goggles at the back of
his head, and took a dive.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Notes
     Enter the UST. So the PG rating of the chapter before? Pushing PG-13
     now. :D
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Just when Rin decided it was a fortunate thing that his friends always came in
a package deal, he entered the Iwatobi swimming club's pool to find Makoto
sitting alone at the edge of the pool, legs trailing in the water.
"Hey," Makoto greeted him with a flash of warm smile. "Haru's running late.
He's in charge of class journal today. And it's Nagisa and Rei's turn for
clean-up duty."
"Gou?" He'd expected his sister would be the most enthusiastic one about his
visit. After a brief moment of hesitation, he went to join Makoto and sat a
respectful distance away from him, dipping his feet in the water.
Makoto shook his head ruefully. "She's not joining us today. She's helping with
a class project and can't get out of it, she said. She sends her apologies." A
soft chuckle. "She says welcome, and for you to enjoy yourself today."
Rin made a noncommittal sound. He wasn't disappointed, but it was...awkward,
being alone with Makoto. Makoto tilted his head, predictably taking his silence
as disapproval.
"Sorry. And after you came all the way here to visit us, too."
"Not your fault," Rin said, and inwardly winced at how curt he sounded. "How-
how have you been, anyway?"
Okay, he was terrible at making small talk. That was always Makoto's role. To
keep up small talk and keep them running, like the grease that kept all four of
them moving smoothly. Curb overenthusiastic Nagisa. Include aloof Haru in the
conversation. Answer questions so Rin didn't have to talk to himself. Swimming
together was easy. When they were swimming together, it was like he'd never
left. But out of the water, Rin couldn't help feeling the gap of years.
"Eh, nothing special. Junior high was pretty uneventful. I..." A sliver of
hesitation, then Makoto continued. "I wasn't in the swimming club for second
and third year. Or first year of high school. So it was pretty boring, I
guess."
Rin didn't have to read between lines, not for this one. Haru had dropped out
of the swimming team during junior high, after that fateful race with Rin. So
Makoto had followed. And when Haru started swimming again, Makoto had again
followed. Rin swallowed the lump of guilt in his throat. "No wonder you were in
such pathetic shape during prelims." Okay, that wasn't antagonistic at all. Rin
backtracked hastily. "Anyway, I can't believe you shot up so much. You and I
were about the same height back in grade school."
Makoto laughed easily, not taking offense. "Hit my growth spurt early, I guess.
How was—" Makoto stopped, and Rin watched him, puzzled, as Makoto very
obviously swallowed the rest of his question. "How's Samezuka?"
How was Australia? That was what Makoto meant to ask. And didn't, because
Makoto was too considerate and even without knowing everything that happened,
Makoto instinctively avoided the topic. "We have a strong team," Rin answered,
because that was the truth. Haru probably wouldn't ask and even if Nagisa was
only a year younger than they were, all of them had an unspoken rule against
telling depressing stories to Nagisa. Hell, who knew how long he'd have to wait
until next time he and Makoto were alone? And this was Makoto. It wasn't like
Makoto of all people would judge him.
"And Australia was kind of terrible. Disgusting summers. Well, winter here. I
couldn't get away fast enough for winter breaks."
"Oh." Makoto was clearly startled, but smiled encouragingly. "I heard it gets
really hot."
"Yeah, and you burn up like a crisp if you're not careful. The sun's no joke
there. Made outdoor swimming kinda painful if you weren't careful."
Makoto laughed softly. "I can imagine. Even here, really. We learned our lesson
the hard way when we went for our training camp this summer. I started peeling
the day after I got back. Even Haru. I think only Rei had the foresight to wear
sunscreen the whole time."
And – Rin realized with a start – Makoto would never press harder. Would never
ask first. Not unless Rin chose to tell him.
"Good athletic program there, though." It was in the past. He could talk about
this. Really, he could. "I had trouble keeping up."
Makoto didn't answer right away. In fact Makoto looked like he was at a loss
what to say. "Was it hard? The training."
"Yeah." Rin kicked the water lightly, not enough to kick up a spray, but enough
to make it swish around his legs. "I was scrawny compared to everyone else. And
-- well. They were just better swimmers. I couldn't compare."
"Oh, but I'm sure—"
"It's okay, Makoto. I don't need you to coddle me." Rin didn't mean to cut him
off, but he really didn't want to hear empty platitude. Or worse, words of
consolation. "Besides, I got better. I'm going to get even better."
"I know that." Makoto's tone left no room to doubt his sincerity. "I know you
will, Rin." His expression gentled. "Haru never doubted it, either."
"Haru told you that?" Because Rin rather doubted it. It wasn't like Haru to
talk about things like that.
"No, but he doesn't have to."
Rin snorted. "No, he never has to tell you anything except—" What Makoto meant
to Haru. Right. He couldn't talk about that, either. And if he was honest with
himself, Rin would rather swallow his tongue than talk about it, anyway.
Speaking of tongues, Rin thought wryly. Makoto would never be convinced his
interest was very much returned short of Haru putting his tongue down Makoto's
throat. And wouldn't it be a sight? Except, of course, Haru would never do
that. Rin was kind of glad, except it made Makoto sad. Sometimes, when Nagisa
was hanging all over Haru as usual, and Rei was speaking to Haru earnestly, or
when Haru and Rin raced, Makoto got that look on his face. Sort of a wistful
look. Like there was something Makoto really, really wanted, but knew better
than to ask for, because he was convinced the answer would be no.
"Haru's serious about his feelings, you know. He's always been shy about
expressing them, but that doesn't make them any less serious."
There was a hint of pain under the words that struck Rin. "What are you talking
about?" Rin asked blankly.
"Well..." Makoto hesitated, a faint blush spreading over his neck. "You know
that you've always been...special, to Haru. He's always wanted to swim with
you, and—"
What? Rin shook his head helplessly. What was Makoto talking about? "Wait, what
are you—"
"—And I know he doesn't say it in words, but he really does care about you—"
"Wait." Rin rubbed his forehead, feeling like he would get a headache if they
continued. Makoto thought... How on earth had they even gotten into this
tangled mess? "You think Haru likes me?"
Makoto let out a tiny sigh. "I'm just saying, even if he doesn't say anything,
it's always been clear to people who know Haru well."
"It's not me he wants, stupid, it's—" You. The word stuck in his throat. He
couldn't. Maybe, once assured of Haru's feelings, Makoto wouldn't need Haru's
tongue down his throat to make the next move. Then they could exchange their
vows or whatever and be together forever. Rin had no illusions; he had no place
there, not between Haru and Makoto's tightly woven relationship.
The right thing, the honorable thing to do, would be to just leave it. Let the
two idiots figure it out.
Damn it, Rin never wanted to hurt his friends, but this wasn't fair. While
Makoto and Haru went nowhere with their relationship just waiting to happen, he
was stuck, unable to say anything. And once the two did figure it out, then he
would never have another chance.
Makoto wasn't expecting him to lunge forward, but this was Makoto: Makoto
didn't even flinch, looking back at him with a puzzled expression. Rin kept his
hand gentle, caressing the hair at the nape of Makoto's neck. Makoto probably
wouldn't punch him. Or even if he did, it'd be worth it. So Rin leaned closer
and pressed his lips against Makoto's.
Makoto's mouth was slack against his. Even when Rin licked at his lip, tongue
briefly darting inside to steal a taste, Makoto remained still and
unresponsive. Probably too shocked to do anything. A detached part of Rin's
mind wondered if this was the first time anyone ever kissed Makoto. At least
this was his to keep.
"Anyway, leaving Haru aside, it's you I like," Rin murmured against Makoto's
unresisting mouth. There was still no response from Makoto, and Rin pulled
away. He'd expected as much. It had always been Haru for Makoto. Confirming it
shouldn't hurt this much. "Sorry," he said quietly. "Tell the guys I said
sorry. I'm come visit again another day."
Before Makoto could reply, he got up and left, leaving Makoto looking like his
world had just turned upside down.
                                     * * *
"Matsuoka, you have a visitor."
It had been a week since he visited Iwatobi. Since then, he hadn't heard from
anyone except Nagisa, who texted him complaining he didn't wait for them. Rin
sighed, wondering if it was Gou again.
"Haru."
His visitor turned to pin him with a bright blue stare. "Rin."
Judging from the serious expression, whatever Haru was here for, the
conversation wasn't the kind he could have in the lobby. "Come on. Ai's out
right now. We can talk in my room."
Haru didn't say another word, falling in step next to him. After the door
closed behind them, Rin sighed. "Make yourself comfortable. Want anything to
drink?"
"No."
Haru laid a hand on the back of Rin's chair, but didn't sit. Rin sat down on
his bed and raised an eyebrow. "So? What brings you here?" Actually, he had a
guess. But what the hell, he wasn't going to make this any easier for Haru. Rin
owed him, but he didn't owe Haru this.
"A week ago, when you came over," Haru started, then paused. "You saw Makoto."
There was no reason to deny that. "Yes."
"What did you say to him?"
Not what did they talk about, but what he said to Makoto. Rin guessed Makoto
must not have told Haru what happened, then. "Not much." Just that he liked
Makoto. "Why?"
"You upset him."
Probably true. "Ah."
"He won't talk to me." Haru's words fell softly, but Rin knew him enough to
pick out the hesitation threading through them. "What did you say to him?"
"Why are you asking?" Rin asked bluntly.
"Because Makoto's upset," Haru repeated, and if this was anyone else, Rin would
have banged his head against the wall in frustration.
"It was private. Which would be why Makoto chose not to tell you." That part
was a guess. But if Haru came all the way to see him for answers, then Makoto
likely hadn't said anything at all.
Haru frowned. "Rin, if you've hurt him—"
"Oh, for fuck's sake." Rin dragged a hand through his hair, pulling out strands
in his agitation. "I told Makoto I like him. I'm not asking him for an answer
back. Or pressuring him in any way."
"I didn't realize," Haru said finally. "That you felt that way."
Haru's words were quiet, but simmering underneath was hurt. And Rin didn't
understand just what on earth Haru could possibly be hurt about when Makoto
clearly liked Haru. Haru only had to say the words to have Makoto. Makoto
wasn't oblivious about his own feelings for Haru – only about Haru's feelings
for him. "It's not my business if you're too scared to tell him how you feel.
But don't expect anyone else to hold back if you're not going to make your
move."
The blank look of shock surprised him, and Rin stopped short. Could Haru really
be that oblivious? For crying out loud, he'd come all the way to Samezuka to
confront Rin for upsetting Makoto. Where was Haru's unperturbed composure now,
his unflappable, infuriating calm? It never occurred to Haru it wasn't normal
for him to react like this?
But this was about Makoto. And Haru. Damn it, if it had been anyone else Rin
wouldn't have bothered.
"Nobody's standing in your way but you, Nanase Haruka," Rin said, and the
strange equanimity of his own words startled him. He sounded serene, like
somebody who'd already come to terms with his defeat.
"I—" Haru dropped his eyes, his blue eyes like swirling water, its calm
disarrayed in confusion. "I don't understand."
"I don't think you do, no." It was more of a realization, really. Rin groaned,
and let himself fall back on the bed. "Did you never notice? Haru, you came all
the way here to talk to me when you thought I might have hurt Makoto. You watch
him all the time. What did you think it all meant?"
"But...you said you like him."
Rin snorted, not bothering to sit up. "It happens sometimes. Pretty often,
actually. You like someone, he doesn't like you back."
"You think Makoto doesn't like you back." Haru's voice was curiously calm
again. "Did he tell you that?"
Well, no. Rin hadn't given Makoto a chance to reject him since he knew Makoto's
answer before he ever said anything. "No. But he doesn't have to." He let out a
sigh and covered his face with both hands. "You can tell him he can stop
worrying about it. I knew before I told him," he mumbled through his hands.
The bed dipped, and Rin pulled his hands away from his face. Haru was sitting
on his bed, watching him. The blue eyes were settled again. "You told him
because you wanted him to know," Haru said, but the words were a question. Rin
nodded mutely. "Before, Makoto said that he – wanted to swim with me. That it
was..." Haru paused. Was it just a trick of the light, or was a faint blush
dusting Haru's face? "...He said it was meaningless without me."
Rin's first thought wasn't a kind one. Just because he accepted Makoto liked
Haru, it didn't mean he wanted a play-by-play on the actual confession.
Possibly Haru was even more clueless than Rin gave him credit for if he didn't
realize how Makoto felt even after that. The second thought was something of
exasperation. Of course Haru would take all this in the context of swimming.
"Is that what he meant? That he—"
"—Likes you?" Rin finished for him. "Why don't you ask him?"
"I feel the same," Haru continued, as if he didn't notice Rin's interruption.
"But I also wanted to swim with you."
Rin gaped at him speechlessly for a full minute. "Okay, you really need to stop
with the swimming analogies," was the first thing out of his mouth.
"When you said you won't swim with me again," Haru began, then stopped. In the
ensuing silence, Rin frowned, trying to figure out what the hell Haru was
talking about. Was he referring to the prefectural, maybe? When Rin won in the
100 meter freestyle? "Nothing mattered anymore. I didn't want that." Haru was
frowning now. "But you said you wanted to swim with me again. With us. In the
relay."
Haru sounded both stubborn and uncertain, and Rin gave in to the urge and
groaned. "Haru. Seriously. Stop that. When I said I want to swim with all of
you guys, that did not equal a love confession for all three of you. Hell, is
that what you think Nagisa means when he says that to you?"
Haru took a distressingly long time to answer that. "No."
Rin sighed. "There you have it then. When I said I want to swim with you three,
I meant I want to swim with you three. When Makoto said he wants to swim with
you, that it's meaningless without you, maybe he meant something more. But
that's something you're going to have to ask Makoto, not me."
Haru pulled up his knees and folded his arms over his folded knees. His face
was expressionless, but it was a thoughtful kind of expressionlessness, not the
unfeeling kind. Rin did not bother getting up. He really had no energy for this
kind of things, especially after Samezuka swimming club's brutal practice
session. "But that's what I thought," Haru finally said. "That it's meaningless
without you."
"Ha?" There was Haru-logic for you. But then again, in Haruka-speak, wanting to
swim together equated true love. "What about Makoto, then?"
Haru considered that carefully. "I couldn't have done any of this without
Makoto." Then, more softly he added, "It's no good, without Makoto."
Rin shook his head, putting an arm over his eyes. Yes, apparently it was
possible for someone to be this clueless. "I feel so bad for Makoto," he
muttered. Maybe Makoto didn't say anything not because he feared Haru didn't
return his feelings, but because he thought Haru just wouldn't get it.
Haru reached for his wrist, pulling his arm away from his eyes, and Rin didn't
have time to react save for a short questioning sound when Haru kissed him.
Haru's kiss was clumsy, so unlike his preternatural grace in the water. Just a
press of mouth against his own. Cooler than Makoto's, but soft. But not
hesitant. Rin wasn't sure what made him open his mouth, to flick his tongue
against Haru's. His hand had slid into Haru's hair without him knowing, and
he'd tilted his face just so that they fit better together—
What they were doing dawned on him then, and Rin pulled away. Tried to, anyway.
Haru tried to follow him and caught the corner of Rin's mouth instead. When Rin
tried to voice his protest, Haru kissed him again, this time properly. And
damn, the kid was a fast learner. Haru's hand was fisting his sheet, and their
angle was awkward, but Haru's tongue shared the same grace the rest of his body
possessed in the water, darting and sliding in his mouth with confidence that
surprised Rin. Or maybe it was just bullheaded determination.
When Haru finally pulled back, he was breathing quickly, lips wet and a little
bit swollen. Anyone who took one look at Haru now would know he'd been kissing.
Mesmerizing blue eyes, soft and dark, shimmered above him. "Oh," Haru breathed,
and Rin could see the flush rising over his cheeks.
"You suck at that." Rin's mouth had gained a will of its own. But he couldn't
help a smirk at the face Haru pulled. "Don't tell me that was the first time
you ever kissed someone."
Now Haru just looked irritated. "Shut up," he muttered, but the faint blush had
deepened.
"Make me," Rin challenged, and everything felt perfectly normal between them,
the mutual challenge as natural as breathing, as swimming. And for one moment,
he thought everything might be okay—
Haru kissed him again. And did he mention Haru was always a quick study?
Because Haru was sucking on his tongue like he'd been French-kissing all his
life. His brain short-circuited for a moment and Rin cursed himself for the
lapse, because during that time Haru managed to straddle him, making the angle
so much easier on both of them and oh yeah. His mostly chaste kiss with Makoto
aside, he hadn't dated anyone in the longest time, and Nanase-fucking-Haruka
had just grinded against him. That was it. He'd officially entered Twilight
Zone and missed the sign a mile back.
Haru was the one who broke the kiss with a gasp, panting, looking down at him
with something akin to shock. Rin was too busy restoring the blood back in his
brain to even make a smart-mouthed comment this time. "What," he managed after
a few tries, "the hell was that for?" What about Makoto? his mind whined, now
that his brain was getting oxygen again.
Haru shook his head. "I...wanted to."
"Hell, you want something, all right." Rin sighed. "But tell you what. Don't go
'round kissing anyone until you figure out what the hell you want. Or rather,
who."
Haru frowned at him. "You kissed me back."
Rin glared at him. He liked boys, damn it, and he'd have to be dead to not
respond to Nanase Haruka sitting in his lap slipping him the tongue. "You
kissed me first," Rin countered because he was five.
"You put your tongue in my mouth—"
"Oh my God, Haruka. Shut up," Rin entreated fervently. "And get off me," he
added for a good measure. After scowling at him, Haru did get off him, sitting
cross-legged on the bed while Rin sat up. "Look. In case you missed this the
first time, I like boys. And I like Makoto. The one Makoto likes isn't me. And
you don't know what you're feeling, let alone who you're feeling it for, so why
don't we both call it a night? You can let me know how everything goes after
you sort yourself out."
Haru just watched him for a long moment, then with a tiny shrug, slipped off
his bed. His hand on the doorknob, Haru paused to look back at him. "Rin."
"What?" Rin couldn't quite keep the irritation out of his voice. He was trying
to decide whether it'd help more to go swim in the pool, take a cold shower, or
just jerk off in the shower. But every option necessitated that Haru leave his
room. The sooner, the better.
"I enjoyed it. Kissing you."
Rin groaned. "Get lost, Nanase."
Rin wasn't sure, but he thought Haru's mouth twitched in amusement. "Good
night, Rin."
The door closed.
Chapter End Notes
     I'm posting relationship troubles (?) on a Valentine's Day because I
     am morbid like that. :D
     Happy Valentine's Day!
      
     -- February 14, 2014
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Notes
     Because this was totally not clear before: Rin does have a bit of
     potty mouth when angry. Why am I even putting a language warning on
     when the overall RATING is already E bwuh.
     FYI, I probably won't be able to do the next update until end of this
     week, possibly weekend. :(
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Two days after Haru's visit, Rin received a text message from Makoto asking to
see him. The message was innocuous enough. If Rin hadn't kissed Makoto the last
time they saw each other, or Haru since then, he could have pretended nothing
was wrong.
Ah well. At least Makoto would be polite about turning him down. Probably would
give him the let-us-be-friends speech, too. That was how Makoto was. Rin chose
shirt and jeans he felt were sufficiently dark to express his black humor, and
went out to meet Makoto.
Makoto had called him out to the old shore-side walkway with nice benches.
Well, the nice benches were new. It seemed the walk had been extensively
renovated since he lived there as a kid. When he arrived, Makoto was waiting
for him on one of the benches, hands tight on his knees, looking nervous and
determined at once. Resigned, Rin walked over to join him.
"Yo."
"Rin. Hi." Makoto rose to greet him. "Sorry to call you out so late," he
stammered. "I—wanted to talk to you."
"Clearly." Rin didn't wait for an invitation to sit down. Makoto automatically
followed the suit. For the next couple minutes there was a silence, with Makoto
looking like he didn't know where to start. "So what did you want to talk
about?" Rin prompted when another minute went by without a word.
"About— About what you said last time." Right, then. Rin held back a sigh. "I
thought about it. And—"
"You like Haru," Rin interrupted. He just...didn't want to hear Makoto say the
words. Knowing and hearing Makoto say them were two different things.
"Y-yeah. How..." Makoto reddened. "Was I that obvious?"
Rin sighed. "Pretty much. Except to Haru, maybe."
A rueful chuckle answered him. "Yeah, probably. When Nagisa dared him to talk
about a romantic experience, Haru talked about finding a really nice
waterfall."
Sadly, Rin had no trouble believing that. "Well, he does tend to not notice
anyone except when they're in the water." An idea occurred to him then. "Was
that why you started swimming?"
"No," Makoto answered immediately. "Well, maybe a little bit, but not like
that. We both liked swimming since we were little and I was afraid if I stopped
we wouldn't have anything in common anymore. I didn't want to stop, anyway. I
still like swimming. That wasn't about Haru."
"But it'd be meaningless without him."
Makoto looked taken aback. It took Rin a moment to remember where he'd heard
that from, and when he did, he could have kicked himself. "Where did you – did
Haru tell you?"
"Er." Rin swallowed. "Yeah." More glumly he added, "For what it's worth, I
don't think he got it even with that."
"Rin," Makoto said with unbearable gentleness. "That's how Haru feels about
you. That it'd be meaningless without you."
"They're not the same thing!" Rin exclaimed. "I mean, you like him. Haru just
likes swimming."
"Rin." Makoto had a look on his face that made it impossible to look away, or
refute him in any way. "And to Haru, swimming is the most natural state to be.
He said swimming is meaningless without you there. Don't you understand the
significance of that?"
"He's confused. Also possibly a hydrophiliac." Makoto looked puzzled at the
last, and Rin belatedly recalled he'd used the English word for that. "You
know. Water-crazed maniac."
"Well," Makoto said with obvious hints of amusement. "He does try to strip
every time he sees a body of water. We nearly got kicked out of the shopping
mall the other time because Haru started taking his clothes off at the
fountain."
"And here I thought Nagisa was the one who liked to go skinny-dipping."
"To be fair, Nagisa is the only one who does that. Haru always has his swimsuit
on underneath."
"Yeah, well, my point is: his unnatural relationship with water aside, Haru's
totally confused about what he wants."
Makoto actually had the gall to sigh at him in a long-suffering way. "Rin.
While I appreciate your effort to make me feel better, don't you think maybe
you shouldn't assume so much about Haru? He's not a child. He knows what he
wants."
"Does he?" Rin shot back, the challenge almost a spinal reflex for him now. "So
when he stares at you like you're carrying the pool around in your boxer
shorts, what's that supposed to mean? Do you think Haru knows?"
"That's—" Makoto paused. "Does he?"
It was Rin's turn to sigh. "Oh for..." He let out a frustrated breath. "Look.
You stare at Haru when he's not looking. Haru stares at you just as often but
still doesn't know what that means. So don't tell me Haru know what he wants.
If he did he'd have his mouth around your dick already, because that would be
the only way he could convince you."
"Rin!" Makoto hissed, face on fire. He automatically looked around to see if
anyone had overheard, then gave him a deeply reproachful look. Rin returned the
look evenly, refusing to back down. Besides which, he was right, he wasn't
going to take it back. Once satisfied they didn't have any listeners, Makoto
let out a little sigh and ran a hand through his hair. "Okay. So, to recap. I
like Haru. Haru likes you. Wait till I finish," Makoto interrupted before Rin
could disagree. "And you...like me," Makoto continued, his voice gone uncertain
and soft over the words. "So where does that leave us?"
"Fucked?" Rin offered. Although Makoto gave him another reproachful look, he
didn't contradict him. "Look, I never said any of this crap works out like we
want. But I'm positive the one Haru likes is you. And that way at least two out
of the three of us will get what we want."
"What about you?"
Rin shrugged. "Sometimes someone has to lose out." And he was done being bitter
about it. Really. When it came to Makoto and Haru, he found it hard hold
anything against them anyway.
Makoto looked unexpectedly stubborn. "I don't believe that."
"Makoto—"
"You're special to Haru. That much is obvious. I think Haru is also special to
you." Makoto continued briskly. "Whatever else we all feel, I don't think
Haru's the only one who doesn't fully understand what he wants. I think we need
to talk it over. Together." Bright green eyes speared him. "All three of us."
"You've got to be kidding me." Unfortunately, Rin knew Makoto. If Makoto was
set on this, very little could dissuade him. And Haru, what with his awakening
hormones, would make a fearsome addition to what already promised to be the
most awkward conversation of the century. Great. And here Rin was hoping for
some sort of resolution that didn’t end with Haru and Makoto never speaking to
him again. "Okay, so when this all goes to hell in a reed basket, just
remember: I was the voice of reason here."
"That," Makoto said with a glint in his eyes that deeply, deeply worried Rin,
"remains to be seen."
                                     * * *
Unfortunately for Rin, Makoto wasn't just determined, but pretty fast on his
feet. Which was why he found himself dragged over to Haru's house first thing
Sunday morning. And by dragged he meant it literally; Makoto had a firm grip on
his elbow and was towing him up the steps. Before Rin could compose himself
Makoto was ringing the doorbell, and bam! It was right back to that nightmare
he had, about meeting Haru and running into his dad and seeing the funeral
procession all over again. Haru didn't answer the door – which, if Rin hadn't
been feeling so disoriented, he could have used to escape. By the time Rin had
collected himself, Makoto was already dragging him to the back door and letting
them in with nary a care in the world. Like he did this all the time. Come to
think of it, Makoto probably did.
“Look, maybe he’s not home. We can do this another day—”
“Nope. Haru’s always home around this time on Sundays.”
Rin frowned. That sounded like... “Wait a minute. Did you even tell him we’re
coming?”
“Nope.”
Rin stared at him incredulously. “Okay. Who are you and what have you done with
Tachibana Makoto?” Because more and more, this sounded like a stunt Nagisa
might pull, not the ever-polite, dependable Makoto. Maybe this Makoto was
really Nagisa in disguise. Or Makoto's evil clone. He should have known better
than to trust it when Makoto suddenly suggested a three-way conversation about
who likes whom in their screwy threesome. And he didn’t even mean that in a
dirty way.
But the look Makoto shot him, at once patient and disapproving, was patently
Makoto. “Come on. Haru’s probably in the bath.”
Rin barely managed a sound of protest when Makoto grabbed him by the arm again
and marched toward the bathroom, which was a bad idea for so many reasons—
Before Rin could finish his thought the door slid open. To a breathy moan.
Makoto froze at the doorstep, but didn’t let go of him, so Rin had no choice
but to stand there and look at Haru’s flushed face. Damn, he had said this
could only go to hell in a reed basket. Haru stared back at them, wide-eyed and
equally speechless.
“Makoto,” Haru finally managed, still sounding breathless. “Rin.”
Makoto didn’t answer. There was a pair of jammers draped over the rim of the
bathtub. The flush on Haru’s face, Rin was quite sure, wasn’t from
embarrassment.
Rin cleared his throat twice before he found his voice. “Are we interrupting?”
Haru considered the question, eyes going from Makoto to Rin. “No,” Haru
decided.
Rin dragged a hand through his hair with a short sigh. “Let me rephrase that:
am I interrupting?”
Haru gave him a defiant – or possibly just annoyed – look. “No,” he repeated, a
touch of impatience in his voice.
Rin made a sound of disgust and gave Makoto a shove forward. “You deal with
this. He was your idiot friend before he was mine. I’ll wait outside.”
The evil clone theory regained life when Makoto stepped forward without
releasing his arm, and Rin closed his eyes before realizing that was pointless.
Because Makoto was offering Haru a hand, like he was just helping Haru up from
the swimming pool. And Haru reached for Makoto’s hand like he’d been hanging
out in bathtub in his swimsuit and not jerking off a second ago. Hell, when did
his friends get so weird?
Teeth gritted, Rin snagged a towel and threw it in Haru’s face. “Here.”
Haru toweled himself off and meandered away, hopefully to find some clothes,
because Haru hadn’t bothered to drape the towel around his hip like any decent
person would have. And Haru’s ass looked even better without the jammers. Rin
groaned and resigned himself to a one-way trip to hell on the same reed basket
ride since Makoto and Haru clearly didn’t intend to offer him a way out.
By the time Haru rejoined them (fully clothed, thank heaven for small favors),
Makoto was preparing tea, navigating through Haru’s kitchen with a familiarity
that made Rin quite uncomfortable. Haru didn’t even comment, just came in and
took out three mugs and put them on the table. Without missing a beat, Makoto
grabbed the teapot and poured the tea, and handed Rin and Haru each a mug. Haru
took the seat next to Rin, opposite from Makoto, and the whole scene was
frighteningly domestic. The two of them were acting so married.
“We need to talk,” Makoto started without preamble. Haru just nodded, wrapping
both hands around his mug, and Rin tried very hard not to fidget in his seat.
“Okay, to start off – Haru, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about what happened
when Rin visited. I needed some time to sort out my thoughts.”
“I went to see Rin about that,” Haru answered softly. “A few days ago.”
Makoto took a deep breath. “Well, the thing is, Rin told me that he likes me.”
No fanfare, no shock, not even recrimination. This was all becoming
distressingly anticlimactic. “And I know you like him, Haru. So I was – at a
bit of a loss.”
Rin scowled in Haru’s direction. “You like Makoto,” he challenged.
Haru didn’t so much as shrug. “Yeah.” Haru then turned to Makoto with a
perfectly deadpan expression which was completely incongruous with the fact
he’d just confessed his non-platonic feelings for his best friend. Was Rin the
only person still awake in this bizarre dream? “I kissed Rin when I visited
him,” Haru announced, like he was telling Makoto he’d had mackerel for dinner
last night.
“Rin’s always been special to Haru,” Makoto said, and it wasn’t clear whom he
was addressing this time. “And – unless I’m very mistaken, Haru’s always been
special to Rin.”
The denial was on the tip of Rin’s tongue. Why couldn’t he just get it out? It
would solve all his problems in one fell swoop.
Yes, and leave him alone and cold for the rest of his life. But besides that
tiny technical detail it was a sound plan.
“What about you?” Rin hadn’t meant to sound so defensive, but it was hard not
to when he felt cornered. “You like Haru, don’t you?”
To his credit, Makoto didn’t try to equivocate. “Yes,” he answered softly, but
with seriousness that left no doubt he meant it. “So I guess that leaves just
one problem.”
Rin blinked. Haru had just reached out to grab Makoto by the collar. In one
economical move Haru pulled him closer and pressed their lips together. With
significantly more skill than when he’d kissed Rin. And a lot more tongue. Fuck
his life, what did Haru think Rin was, a practice run? Just when he was about
to voice his displeasure in no uncertain terms, Haru pulled back and sat down
like nothing happened. “Now we’re even,” Haru stated like that should make
sense.
Makoto was blinking rapidly, like someone trying to reboot his brain. “That’s
not exactly what I meant, but – getting there, I guess.”
“Wait a minute.” Rin’s brain had checked in at long last. “So – I kissed
Makoto, and Haru kissed me, so – now that you two kissed it makes us all even?”
Rin glared at both of them. “What the hell. We’re talking about relationships,
not some fucked up algebra!”
“I thought you liked it when I kissed you,” Haru pointed out, and that was just
about all Rin could take.
“Welcome to the wonderful world of puberty,” Rin snapped viciously. “It’s
called hormones. And in case you haven’t noticed, I’m pretty damned hot. Killer
bod, too. So if you think whacking off to my six packs and sweet ass means
something, I’ve got news for you, Haru. You don’t particularly need to feel
anything permanent for someone you want to fuck.”
“Rin!” Makoto’s voice was full of disapproval, and Rin twitched before he could
help himself. Makoto cleared his throat with the blush still high on his
cheeks, and God help him, Rin still couldn't help but feel hopelessly
attracted. "Right. So. I guess the remaining issue was how I feel about Rin,
and what we're going to do next."
"Leave me out of this," Rin countered automatically. "While we're talking
algebra – guess what? You can't just add people up like that and expect it to
work. It's feelings, not popsicles. You don't get two plus two in feelings."
"Makoto splits his popsicle with me all the time," Haru said, and Rin let his
head fall to the table with a bang.
"I fucking give up," Rin mumbled into the wooden surface. Haru was throwing him
on a loop so wild, he didn’t have the energy to follow, let alone stay angry.
"If Makoto wants, I can share."
"Fan-fucking-tastic," Rin muttered to the table, in English, but figured the
emotion behind it would carry over fine. "I'm trapped in here with crazy
people. Send help."
"Rin." Makoto – it had to be Makoto patting his back so gently – soothed. "I'm
not entirely sure if something can be worked out, either. And I was fine with
not taking anything further. But you sort of – started the ball rolling here
when you kissed me, and—"
"Wait wait wait." Rin shot up to glare at Makoto. "Are you saying all this is
my fault?"
"You did kiss me back," Haru pointed out.
Rin transferred his glare in Haru's direction. "After you kissed me first!"
Haru blinked at him, considered, then spoke again. "Because you came and kissed
Makoto first, and Makoto wouldn't tell me what happened."
"That's it. I'm just going to leave, pretend all this was a bad dream." Rin
stood. Or tried to: Haru latched onto his wrist and Makoto grabbed his other
elbow.
"And then what?" Makoto asked quietly. "You'll never speak to us again?"
"No." Well, maybe a little. "Not permanently. And besides which – look, it's
obvious you two have the hots for each other. You are perfect for each other
and all that, so just get together, forget this conversation ever happened, and
when we're less awkward we can give the whole friendship thing another shot."
"Sit down, Rin," Makoto said, and it wasn't a request. Startled, Rin sat down
automatically. "I need you to listen to me without interrupting. It'll be only
a moment." Makoto's tone brooked no argument, and Rin just stared at him
mutely. "When you left us that first time to go to Australia, that was one
thing. Even when I found out you'd been back and met Haru, and neither of you
ever mentioned it to me or Nagisa, I let it be, because I figured you both had
your reasons and I didn't want to dig into anyone's painful memories. After you
came back, Haru wanted to compete again, and I was happy. Because Haru is most
himself when he swims, and you brought that back to him. So you can imagine I
was a little bit," Makoto enunciated his words carefully, "upset, when Haru was
wandering around looking so lost after you told him you weren't going to swim
with him anymore. And then we were in the relay together and everything was
okay, until you nearly left us. Again."
"What – I was taken off the relay team—"
"Quiet. That nearly left Haru in pieces again and if it hadn't been for Rei, I
don't know if I could have handled that. So understand me, Rin, when I say I'm
through letting you two handle things yourselves. If whatever is going on
between you two affects both of you so much, can hurt you this deeply, it
becomes my business. I can count on one hand the number of people I care about
in this world as much as I care about you and Haru. Whether as a friend or
something more, in whatever capacity, I am going to be a part of this."
"In other words he's not letting you walk away from this," Haru supplied
helpfully, and Rin could have smacked that tiny hint of smirk right off Haru’s
pretty face.
"Just because you never learned to prioritize. You were always the selfish
one." Rin groused, but strangely enough, didn't feel as annoyed as he thought
he'd be. "You can't have your cake and eat it too. You don't always get to have
everything you want."
Makoto smiled, even if it was a little tight around the edges. "Well, Haru's an
only child, unlike us."
"I can't, without Makoto. And I need you. To swim."
Makoto just gave him a look that, if he wasn't Makoto, would have said, "I told
you so."
Rin closed his eyes with a sigh. There was something stubbornly innocent in
Haru he couldn’t help find endearing. He'd blamed Haru – the whole relay
business, really – for his failures over the years. But in truth, his relay
team had been the very thing that allowed him to go on when he thought he
couldn't. He owed Haru and Makoto after all they’d done for him, especially
when he had unwittingly taken Haru from the water once before. Trust Makoto to
figure out how to guilt-trip him successfully. Even if Rin didn’t accept the
argument wholesale, he couldn’t deny Makoto was right about one thing: there
was no way to back out.
"I was still the voice of reason in all this," Rin muttered, resigned to going
along with them. For the time being. After all, how long could this insanity
possibly last? "So exactly what do you plan to do next?"
Makoto's eyes, predictably, was drawn to Haru. "Well, I was willing to wait it
out. But I get the feeling neither you nor Haru can."
What? Just because he hadn't gotten laid in a good long while, it didn't mean
he would cave just because of pent up frustration. Sure, he'd caved pretty
quickly when Haru sat on him and slipped him some tongue, but that was... Rin
swallowed at the look Haru fixed him with, and hastily looked back at Makoto.
"If he can, I can," he insisted stubbornly, and the corners of Makoto's mouth
lifted for a proper smile this time.
"Rin, you specifically said this is a relationship, so—"
Oh, he had not!
"—That means we can take this slow. Start with regular dating and see where we
go."
Which...wait a minute. "Did you date before, Makoto?" Rin demanded, the thought
of Makoto with somebody else like a sudden hot flash in the back of his skull.
Makoto darted a guilt-ridden look at Haru, by which Rin assumed Haru hadn't
been informed. "Um...a little bit." Haru's frown had gained a scary edge. "It
wasn't serious! It was just for a couple months, and—" That wasn't a storm in
Haru's blue eyes anymore, it was a veritable typhoon. And for once Rin found
himself in a wholehearted agreement with Haru. "We broke up. It was ages ago.
Really, I can tell you about it later."
"No."
If words could cut, Haru's icy refusal would have. Rin raised an eyebrow and
looked to Makoto in a mute question. "Er. Or not. Anyway I'm sorry I didn't
tell you, Haru."
"Did you break up because of Haru?" Rin asked, because he might have lost the
war, but that didn't mean he had to be graceful about it. Besides which, it was
just too much fun to tease Makoto.
Makoto stayed quiet for a suspiciously long time. "I just...didn't feel right
about it," Makoto said finally, and Rin held back a sigh, seeing the evasion
for what it was. No doubt Haru hadn't missed it, either. But far from feeling
guilty, Haru looked pleased.
"Good God. You haven't dated in ever, have you?" The question was addressed to
Haru, who turned to regard Rin with a cold look. "And you're planning to jump
into a three-way relationship? I don't know if you're brave or stupid. Actually
scratch that. You're just insane."
Haru narrowed his eyes. "How many?"
"Ha?"
"How many people did you date?" Haru repeated, eyes resembling slivers of ice
now.
Rin sputtered. "That's none of your damn business!"
"In Australia or here?" Haru leaned forward, peering closely at Rin. "Are you
dating that kid? The one that follows you around everywhere?"
"Who?" Rin asked blankly. "Oh, Ai."
"'Ai'?" Makoto questioned, mildly enough, but – was that a glint in his eyes?
"Aichirou's my roommate. Damn it, Haru, that's not – we're not dating. And even
if I was, that's none of your business."
Makoto gave a discreet cough. "Actually, it's our business now." He turned a
bright smile on Rin, and damn it all, this was why Rin didn't want to talk to
Makoto: it was impossible to refuse Makoto when he turned on the puppy eyes and
the killer smile. "Right?"
After full thirty seconds on the receiving end of the patented Makoto smile,
Rin gritted his teeth and conceded. "Fine. Whatever."
"Okay, now that we're all on the same page. D'you guys want to go out today?
Together?"
Rin gave Makoto an incredulous look. "Oh my God, you are an evil schemer and I
hate you. You planned this."
Makoto gave him an innocent look that Rin was beginning to trust less and less.
"Well, it's a Sunday. I figured we could hang out afterward if everything went
okay."
"At home?"
Rin gaped at Haru, who looked back at him with a hint of challenge in his gaze.
Right. They'd caught Haru jerking off in the bath not an hour ago. And Rin was
totally not thinking about the fact Haru lived alone in a nice, big house, and
there was just the three of them. There was a spark of heat in the way Haru
looked at him, and the memory of the last time he had a determined Haru in his
vicinity slammed into his mind and... Rin swallowed dryly and scowled when
Haru's lips quirked in a tiny smirk. They broke their gaze at the same time to
turn to Makoto, who'd reddened. "Er..." Rin could have sworn Makoto looked
tempted for a brief second there. Just a little bit. "I thought you might want
to go swimming together, or something like that. For starters."
Haru nodded as soon as the word swimming was mentioned and that, Rin thought
wryly, seemed that. He'd rather stick to normal dates, anyway. Just in case –
nay, for when things crashed and burned. If he thought that often enough he
could probably convince his hormones the same. Probably.
"Fine. Where?"
Rin's question was met with two pairs of eyes fixed on him like they were
surprised he hadn't figured out the answer already. "I have the keys to the
swimming pool at Iwatobi," Makoto pointed out patiently while Haru gave him a
look that questioned his intelligence. "And it's Sunday, so as long as we're
careful..."
"Only we ever use it, anyway." Haru was already standing up. "Come on."
Chapter End Notes
     Confession time: after first watching the series, I actually didn't
     think about Makoto/Rin AT ALL until I read Ad_Astra's This_Gentle
     Heart_Will_Mess_You_Up and Denial_is_Not_Just_a_River_in_Egypt. Well,
     I found those after Your_Body_is_a_Map_of_Sin, so you can guess how
     my mind progresses in terms of pairings. lol Important point is: my
     affection for Makoto/Rin side of the pairing is entirely thanks to
     Ad_Astra's delicious stories. ♥
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Notes
     ...oh snap, did I make Rin cry? Uh, whoops?
See the end of the chapter for more notes
They had to stop by Makoto's house on the way. For one, Rin hadn't packed his
legskin because he hadn't expected a talk about their screwed up relationship
(or the lack thereof) would lead to a date at the pool. Though in hindsight
perhaps he should have, given the parties involved. Haru had offered, but Haru
only ever wore jammers (and all in the same design), and it'd have been too
small for Rin, anyway. Makoto's would be a little loose on him, but Rin wasn't
quite ready to go skinny-dipping with them just yet. Best not to give Haru any
ideas, he thought.
Of course once they were at Iwatobi they got caught right away by the
caretaker, because Haru had a habit of walking straight toward any body of
water without so much as glancing at what stood between him and his goal. So
Makoto had to explain they were here for a totally pre-authorized session of
extra training, looking like earnestness personified as he single-handedly
convinced the skeptical caretaker. Which was disturbing on so many levels. Rin
sincerely felt uneasy for the fate of the world should Makoto ever decide to
use his fearsome proselytizing abilities for evil. After all Makoto was already
using them for questionable good.
Fortunately, Iwatobi's swimming pool was on a fairly isolated part of the
school grounds, and completely deserted when they arrived. Haru immediately
stripped and headed straight for the pool, at which point Rin turned to Makoto
for a mute plea for explanation. When the hell had Haru put on swimsuit under
his clothes?
Makoto shrugged with a smile. "He does that all the time. I'm not sure if he
ever wears anything else under his clothes these days."
"Freak," Rin said, but without heat. Besides, he got to watch Makoto change and
he could never complain about that. Makoto's lower back was a temptation
incarnate at the best of the times. A couple of minutes later Rin had to leave
first because if he watched Makoto bend over one more time he would be swimming
with a boner.
In the pool, Haru was circling underwater like a dolphin, unhurried, ethereally
graceful. Rin dove in to join him, and Haru kept pace with him until they
turned at the wall and headed back to the diving blocks. Neither of them was
moving at full speed, and it was...weird, swimming side by side with Haru, but
without the element of competition. Just moving in the water. Feeling the water
with his whole body. Feeling its caress.
When they touched the wall, Makoto was sitting on the diving block, watching
them with a fond expression. "It's so odd to see you two swimming without
racing." Then he added thoughtfully, "Odd, but nice."
That was pretty much the sum of how Rin felt, so he shrugged. "Are you coming
in?"
Makoto, in lieu of an answer, dove over Rin's head. Makoto's front crawl wasn't
bad. Actually, Makoto was pretty good with all strokes. He was fastest with the
backstroke, but he'd always been a model student and was adept at all styles.
Actually they’d all learned the different strokes as kids; it was just that Rin
was best at the butterfly stroke, while Nagisa preferred the more playful flow
of breaststroke, and Makoto the backstroke. Come to think of it, it was only
Haru who refused to swim any style but the front crawl.
When Makoto returned to the diving blocks, Rin had his elbow perched on the
line watching Haru lazily spin underwater. "Is he ever going to learn any other
stroke?" Rin asked, tossing his head in Haru's direction. "As it is, he could
either do freestyle or medley relay, but nothing else."
Makoto shook the water out of his hair. "Well. Haru's never been interested in
learning specific styles. You know he only started swimming in the relay
because of you." His mouth quirked in a rueful smile. "As for competition, it's
not like I could enter other categories, either. Everyone has a favored style."
"You could—"
"But not to win," Makoto interrupted him gently. "Not to say winning is
everything. But I think a healthy competition is a good thing. For that, you
need to be at a comparable level with others. I know I'm not, with the front
crawl or the butterfly. For the breaststroke, Nagisa beats me by four or five
seconds these days." The look Makoto gave him was knowing. "You're best at
butterfly, but you're very graceful at freestyle, too, you know. You could
compete with either one."
Rin looked away. "But the upcoming meet at the national..." He'd originally
limited himself to the 100-meter freestyle, which Haru also entered. But he'd
lost during the regional, and wasn't competing in the national. Samezuka's
medley relay team had won during its wave, and Mikoshiba hinted he would be
willing to let Rin swim for the team, but – Iwatobi wouldn't be there. They
weren't going to swim together, as same team or rival teams.
"Will you be in the medley relay?" Makoto asked, voice just gentle enough turn
Rin’s gaze back to him. "Because Haru and I would love to come cheer you on. So
would Nagisa. And Rei and Kou-chan, too."
"I don't know yet," Rin replied honestly. "Mikoshiba-buchou hinted he might let
me."
The understanding in Makoto's eyes hurt. "Rin, just remember: when you swim,
you're swimming for the team whether or not we're in the water with you. We'll
always come see you, all right?"
Rin could feel heat in his neck and face and had to look away. Makoto's hand
was a shock of warmth against his cheek. Rin started, feeling another pair of
eyes on him, and found Haru staring at him, just his eyes visible over the
water.
"'My thoughts exactly,' Haru's thinking," Makoto supplied when Haru didn't
speak, and Haru, to Rin's shock, did not dispute the claim even as he shot
Makoto a withering look.
Haru spun like an eel, once again underwater, and surfaced halfway down the
lane, the front crawl like a natural extension of his movement. Near the end of
the lane Haru circled again and returned, surfacing next to Rin and Makoto. "Do
the butterfly," Haru said in a complete non-sequitur, and both Makoto and Rin
blinked.
"Huh? Why?"
Haru just looked at him. "I want to see."
"But you saw me. Back at the regional," Rin pointed out.
"That was different." Rin stared at him, brows knitted, but Haru stubbornly
held his gaze. "Do it."
Makoto, when Rin glanced over at him quizzically, just smiled with a one-
shouldered shrug. Rin gave a mental shrug. It was no hardship, and this was
probably the first time Haru made such a request. Rin pulled out of the water
and stepped on the diving block. No signal, no one saying anything, just him,
the water waiting below, and Haru's bright blue eyes watching. Haru was in his
lane, right under him, looking up like they were just switching during a relay.
It was signal enough.
Rin dove.
Rin's legs could have segued into the trademark undulating kicks of butterfly
stroke in his sleep. Not sliding through, like front crawl, but darting up and
down in the water. More dynamic, perhaps even showy, with forceful arm movement
and concerted leg movement. And Rin, with his powerful kicks, had always been
best suited for this.
Maybe at heart he'd always wanted to show off, a little, especially to Haru.
Because Rin had always preferred the butterfly even as he liked the front crawl
for its sheer speed. But freestyle was Haru's. This – butterfly was Rin's. So
Rin concentrated on the movement, on gaining the kick and pull to achieve more
grace and power than simple speed.
When he touched the wall, Haru was waiting in the next lane, eyes intent. On
the other side was Makoto, frank appreciation in his eyes. "That was
beautiful," Makoto told him while Rin pulled off the cap to shake the water out
of his hair. "Your butterfly is always beautiful to watch, you know."
Whatever Haru thought, he kept it to himself, but he was still watching Rin
with unnerving intensity. Makoto glanced over at him, and chuckled. "For the
record, I think I've only ever seen Haru give that look to bodies of water."
Haru huffed, but did not deny it. Then, slowly, Haru extended a hand toward
him.
Rin was too startled to wonder what the gesture meant. But Haru was patient,
holding out his hand, and Rin hesitantly raised his own to graze Haru's fingers
with his own. Haru shared no such uncertainty, and immediately laced his
fingers with Rin's. "Haru—"
Unexpectedly, Haru smiled. "That," he said. "That was what I wanted."
"You really need to stop making everything into swimming analogies," Rin said
when he finally found his voice. Behind him, water swished softly as Makoto
crossed the lane to join them, a gentle warmth just shy of pressing against his
body.
Which felt nice, but wasn't necessarily a good thing, because when Haru moved
closer, Rin had nowhere left to go except into Makoto's waiting arms. Which
wrapped around him so carefully, Rin didn't have the heart to break out of the
hold. And Haru was undeterred, pressing closer to brush his lips against Rin's.
The kiss was chaste and there was no rhyme or reason Rin should let out a
faintest groan. But somehow it felt incomparably more sensual than the time
Haru kissed him on his bed. Makoto's arms were strong, supporting him, cradling
him while Haru's tongue traced his ear. Haru was definitely aroused when he
pressed against Rin, but there was no urgency in the way Haru's fingertips
skimmed down Rin's chest. Warm palms smoothed over his stomach, ran down his
clothed thighs, and Rin clenched his teeth against another moan, irrationally
wanting the legskin gone so he could feel the touch on his bare skin. His knees
chose that moment to buckle, but Makoto had him well at hand, taking his weight
easily.
When strong hands squeezed his waist, his moan turned open and full-throated.
Couldn't help it. Haru looked pretty. But he had really strong hands. Despite
being shorter than Rin, Haru still kept up with him stroke for stroke, and Rin
secretly suspected Haru might win against him in a straight-out arm-wrestling
contest. Just now those strong fingers were pressing hard into the unprotected
flesh of his waist, tearing more sounds from him. Then, Haru really started
going for it and kneaded his hips, and Rin couldn't help it. "Wait," Rin
gasped, fingers scrabbling against Haru's forearms. "Ha-Haru, stop."
Haru's brows furrowed with a silent question, but Makoto – when had he ended up
with his head resting against Makoto's shoulder? – shook his head. "We're at a
public place," Makoto reminded them, and Rin groaned. That was it? No
remonstration about moving too fast, no lecture on how they should maybe slow
this down a bit? And more disturbing still, Haru just looked more determined.
"I like it better here. In the water."
Of course he did. Makoto's laughter sent quiet vibration in Rin's ear. "Of
course you do, Haru. But we'll be arrested if anyone catches us like this."
"You're not helping, Makoto," Rin growled. It might have been more effective if
his voice hadn't been so unsteady.
"Sorry." Makoto then shifted his grip on Rin, pulling him up, and of course the
process brought their bodies together and – oh. Oh. Rin, and he was supposed to
be the more worldly and experienced one here, blushed from head to toe.
Somehow, despite having Haru unabashedly press against him only seconds ago,
realizing it affected Makoto also was—
"Locker room?" Haru suggested innocently, and Rin glared.
"No!"
"We're going to have to wait, Haru," Makoto chided, but sounded like he was
suppressing his laughter.
"Until?"
Damn, Rin hadn't expected Haru to be so single-minded. Briefly he wondered if
Haru had put Makoto up to the whole talking him into a threesome thing.
Had he just thought threesome?
"Until Rin says yes."
Haru gave Rin a speculative look. "Rin won't say no," Haru said, and it sounded
like equal parts promise and threat.
"I'm standing right here, you know," Rin snapped, only to have Haru ignore him.
Haru really riled him sometimes.
Makoto let out a long-suffering sigh, but Rin could hear a huff of laughter
hidden underneath. "That's not the same thing as saying yes. Come on. Don't you
want to swim some more before we head back?"
This was Haru, after all. After another considering look at the two of them,
Haru did a corkscrew dive back under the water, and started swimming again. Rin
felt an irrational stab of disappointment that Haru didn't press the point.
Which was stupid. He wasn't planning on having a threesome sex in the pool.
He'd never be able to enter another pool again without remembering – things.
Also, he hadn't consented to sleeping with either of them yet, let alone both.
If – when – this whole thing blew up in their faces, the awkwardness would be
so much less if they didn't add sex to the equation.
All those things made perfect sense in his mind. Even if they failed to
distract him from Makoto pressed on his back. Or the heat nestled against his
ass. It had been so damned long...! Rin bit back a needy moan forming in the
back of his throat, and refused to let his mind dwell on how easy it would be
to push down their legskins just enough for this.
Makoto let out a breath that wasn't entirely steady. "Um. Sorry. I'm letting go
now, okay?"
Rin's legs held him, thank God, and he sighed in relief. Possibly also in
disappointment. But mostly relief. He couldn't help stealing a look at Makoto,
who was still blushing faintly. And oh-so-gorgeous. Rin's heart started doing
the odd pitter-patter thing with flips, and of course Haru chose that moment to
swim right up to Makoto. Rin wasn't even an arm's length away, not having moved
after Makoto released him, and Haru wasn't shy about their bodies touching.
Even when he pretty much climbed on Makoto to kiss him. And Makoto, being
Makoto, automatically caught Haru in his arms. Rin was abruptly reminded of the
time an enthusiastic Nagisa jumped Haru after they qualified for the regional,
wrapping his legs around Haru's waist with careless exuberance. Haru wasn't
quite there yet, but getting close. Makoto's hands slid down Haru's back,
loving rather than demanding. Rin's arousal hadn't faded, although it had
lessened, and now threatened a full comeback. How would it feel to have Haru
cling to him like that? To have Makoto hold him up so lovingly as they kissed?
"You sure?" Haru murmured, and Makoto looked a great deal more troubled than
when Rin was the one cornered by those blue eyes. Still, Makoto looked at Rin
in askance, which – okay, so at least they were serious about wanting to
include him. "Because if you say yes, Rin will say yes," Haru added. Rin
sputtered, but couldn't manage to voice a denial. So Haru hadn't given up. He
was probably just consulting the water about how to convince Rin and Makoto, or
something. Damn the stubborn water-obsessed idiot.
"You sure you don't want to be dating the pool instead?" Rin asked, only to
have Haru blink innocently at him.
"The water doesn't mind sharing."
Clearly insanity was catching, because that probably shouldn't make as much
sense to Rin as it did. Rin sighed, tugging a hand through his hair. "Well?" he
addressed Makoto. "Since Haru here is determined to think with his dick, that
is."
Haru glared. "You want to."
"Never denied it. But your hormones have addled your brain and you're not
thinking clearly. You're going to wake up and realize all this was a mistake."
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. Haru let go of Makoto and stepped
back, eyes like glaciers. "Don't," Haru said, and his voice pitched low, but
with all the chill of the arctic. "You know nothing about what I want. If
you're too scared to accept that's your problem." The phrasing was deliberate,
Rin realized, remembering he'd used those exact words to Haru before. But Haru
wasn't finished. "I've never wanted anyone but Makoto and you. I want this. I
want you." This time, Haru's gaze was as much an invitation as a challenge.
"What do you want, Rin?"
To have the last four years never have happened. To go back to the way they
were. To never be apart from them again. To never be so alone as he'd been in
Australia ever again. For Makoto and Haru to be his. To be theirs.
"Rin." Makoto's achingly tender look was harder to bear than Haru's
straightforward challenge. "Did you kiss me only because you expected me to
reject you?"
Rin could not answer. To deny would be a lie. But to admit was unbearable.
"This can never work out," Rin finally whispered, throat too tight to manage
anything louder. His chest ached, his whole body ached, the water a sudden
chill winding through every inch of his skin. "I'd rather keep being your
friend than not have this work out and lose you both."
They were still close enough to touch, and Rin wasn't entirely surprised to
feel hands catch him by the arms and draw him closer, Haru on his left, Makoto
on the right. Makoto looked like he badly wanted to pull both of them in a hug,
but gave Rin a heartbreakingly sweet smile instead. "I'm not guaranteeing this
will work out for all of us," Makoto started, all but murmuring directly in
Rin's ear. "I don't think anyone can. But I can never believe any pain or
awkwardness could be worse than not having you two in my life." A kiss pressed
to his temple, and Rin had to close his eyes, because he couldn't pull away,
not when Makoto and Haru both clung to him so stubbornly. "Please, Rin."
Makoto's voice softened to just barely above a whisper. "Stay."
Haru dropped a kiss on his shoulder that silently echoed Makoto's request, the
undemanding touch more eloquent than any words. Rin shuddered, and was
immediately drawn into Makoto's arms, instantly followed by Haru's wrapping
around them both. Confusion of hands touching him, brushing back his hair,
mapping the skin of his back, his arms. Despite himself, a tear escaped him,
then another. Warm lips caught his tears – Makoto's, he realized with shock –
while another pair of lips pressed at the back of his neck. He was enveloped in
warmth, surrounded by it. Was drowning in heat and something else that filled
every part of him. Something inescapable. Irresistible. His surrender was
inevitable. And for once Rin didn't even mind.
"Yes," he whispered, and let go, trusting both of them to catch him.
Chapter End Notes
     For everyone who left me comments, kudos, and/or bookmarked this fic,
     thank you so much! I’m overwhelmed by all this positive response. =)
     The next chapter is the reason for the overall rating. It’s also the
     longest chapter. And the raison d’etre of this fanfiction. Says a lot
     about my priorities, don’t it? :D Unfortunately, I’m expecting a
     really busy week, so the next update will next Sunday at the
     earliest, probably a day or two later. :( Sorry.
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Notes
     Sorry for the extended wait, folks! I fell sick last weekend and am
     still feeling under the weather. x_x
     Two things. Firstly, when I said explicit, I meant that. This chapter
     is NSFW, etc.
     Secondly, I'm pretty fluid with positions. This chapter just happened
     this way, but it's not going to happen the same way every time.
     Now that I've teased you with notes...the REAL reason I wrote this
     fic.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"That was not a yes to this," Rin growled. Haru, and this was fast becoming a
habit, ignored him. Admittedly, if Rin had a gasping nearly naked Makoto
sprawled under him, he probably would have ignored everything else, too.
Once they were back, Haru had been quite unabashed about taking them to the
living room overlooking the garden, briskly laying out the futons together.
Makoto had the grace to blush, but all he added was for Haru to close the
screens, which also went ignored because Haru chose that moment to draw Makoto
down to the futon and kiss him senseless.
Haru had stripped the moment the futons were laid out and was dressed only in
his jammers. (Rin planned to have a talk with Makoto about that particular
habit.) Rin’s shirt was draped carelessly over the TV where Haru had tossed it.
Makoto's shirt was flung somewhere, possibly in the garden. His pants were
hanging by one ankle, which Haru was now pulling off impatiently.
"Rin," Makoto gasped, and Rin crawled forward to catch his name on Makoto's
lips as it was repeated. "Haru, slow down—"
Haru's tongue down one's throat was quite effective as a gag. Rin should know;
Haru had used it on him before. Speaking of Haru's tongue down Makoto's throat.
The fact his thought from weeks ago turned out prophetic was a faint triumph in
Rin's mind. But before they went any further, particularly if Haru never dated
before, they should probably establish some ground rules. Preferably before
Haru climbed on top of Makoto and started grinding away. Because Haru looked
like he was contemplating exactly that.
"Oy, Haru, let Makoto up. I have to ask something."
Haru pulled away only with visible reluctance, and turned to Rin with a look
smoldering in his eyes, that Rin had better make this worthwhile. Rin shook his
head. Hormonal, frustrated virgins, oy. What would they have done without him?
"How far do you want to go?" he asked, both to Haru and to Makoto. He'd gone
all the way before, on both ends. He highly doubted Makoto or Haru had.
Makoto looked like he was having trouble getting enough oxygen to his brain to
think, but managed to sit up. "I was going to ask you the same." Makoto’s voice
was remarkably steady for someone whose eyes were currently only thin rims of
green around wide pupils. “It’s not just me and Haru, you know. What do you
like, Rin?”
Rin’s eyes were drawn to Makoto’s front like iron filings to a magnet. More
specifically, the bulge straining against the cotton briefs. He’d only had a
chance to feel it through layers of clothing before, but it was probably
impressive. The thought of Makoto’s cock in his ass sent a jolt of hot desire
wash through him, and Rin let out a sound he refused to call a whimper. Haru
was watching him closely, though, and Rin nearly jumped out of his skin when
Haru unceremoniously stuck a hand down his pants. The touch was a little too
rough, but it was hard to mind when Haru’s intention was clearly to pull his
pants off. Haru disengaged only long enough to throw the offending garment
across the room. Then, Haru was pushing him forward until he was nearly on top
of Makoto, who pulled him close like it was already second nature. Makoto’s
hands, large and warm, were skimming down his back, but careful not to stray
too far down his spine. Rin whined in frustration, wanting those hands lower.
Haru must had learned to read minds from all his crazy conversations with water
or something, though, because he grabbed Makoto’s hands and dragged them lower
until they settled on Rin’s ass. “Rin liked it before, when I touched him
here,” Haru commented, kneading his hips just so, and Rin turned liquid under
his hand, swaying with the touch. Makoto’s hands squeezed lightly, the motion
unconscious, almost abortive, and Rin moaned and squirmed, needing more.
“You can—” Rin wasn’t sure who he was addressing now. Either one. Maybe both.
“You can—put it inside. If you want.”
Makoto was holding back, Rin thought the next moment, breathless and dizzy,
when Makoto squeezed his ass hard. Makoto immediately let go with an apology,
but he didn’t quite take his hands off Rin’s ass, either, by which Rin guessed
Makoto definitely had an interest in Rin’s offer. Haru was pressed against his
side, mouth mapping Rin’s shoulder, and Rin shook his head, trying to clear his
desire-fogged mind. Something about the logistics of having three people,
because if Makoto was inside him, where did that leave Haru?
“Makoto.” Rin had a moment of déjà vu, seeing the two of them seemingly
communicate entirely with a short exchange of looks. Whatever their telepathic
discussion was about, Haru settled it with an infinitesimal shake of head. “Rin
first, today.”
Rin wondered if he was supposed to understand what that meant when Makoto lay
back and Haru unceremoniously pulled off Rin’s boxers without so much as a
warning. Before he could get indignant, however, Makoto was already pulling at
him, Haru pushing at the same time, guiding Rin to straddle Makoto. That
finished, Makoto turned toward Haru. “Haru...”
Whatever Makoto meant, Haru seemed to divine it. Without a word Haru rose and
disappeared, leaving Rin gasping into Makoto’s mouth as Makoto kissed him,
unhurried and thorough. When Haru returned, Makoto smiled and extended a hand
toward him, which Haru took. Makoto brought their joined hands to his lips,
leaving a kiss on Haru’s knuckles. Then, Haru was behind him again, palms
moving over Rin’s bare ass. “You’ll have to talk me through,” Haru murmured in
his ear, and Rin shivered, more at the tone than the words.
Rin was about to ask just what he would have to talk Haru through when fingers,
slick with something cool and slippery, touched his entrance. “Ah...!” Rin
arched, startled and turned on, and twisted to look at Haru, who looked back at
him with a completely serious expression. Ah. So that was what Haru meant by
talking him through. Rin felt a fierce heat wash over his neck and chest,
spreading up to his face, and let out a gasped curse. He’d have to – explain
what to do. In words. So Haru could prepare him while Makoto – dressed only in
briefs with his cock poking its head out – watched them from below. Fuck.
Haru’s fingers circled Rin’s entrance again, spreading whatever he was using or
possibly just teasing Rin. Knowing Haru it was a toss-up. “Rin,” Haru said,
drawing out the simple sound to a question. Rin shuddered, feeling Haru’s
fingers dip, just hard enough to press into his opening, too turned on to care
about goddamned logistics anymore. “Rin.”
“Put—fingers in me,” Rin gasped out, some semblance of coherence returning to
his mind. It had been a while. Tempting as it was to just have Makoto shove it
inside, tomorrow was a school day and he’d regret it sorely when it came to
club practice. “Take it slow. Fuck—!” Rin’s voice cut off in a moan when Haru’s
finger pushed past the ring of muscles. No hesitation, only certainty. It
burned, a little, the unanticipated stretch, but he’d done this before. Rin
knew he could convince his body to stop panicking, relax and enjoy the hard
stretch of something foreign inside. “More, Haru. Deeper,” Rin instructed, and
felt Haru comply, pushing in two fingers, not pausing until they were inside as
deep as they could go. Haru gave him a round of shallow thrusts, and Rin nearly
swallowed his own tongue, shaking with an incoherent sound in his throat.
Makoto sat up on his elbows to reach Rin’s mouth, and Rin moaned openly.
Makoto’s hands were on him, steadying him. "Are you okay?" Makoto asked, his
hand on Rin's cock so much gentler than Haru's earlier, but Rin was too close
and could only shake his head.
"Too close," Rin gasped, and Makoto stopped fondling him, moving his hands to
knead at Rin's hips instead, fingers caressing just hard enough to press into
skin. Even that made him shudder. His body was too sensitive, it'd been too
long, and Makoto was staring up at him like a starving man offered a feast. Rin
was so turned on it hurt. Haru kissed him between shoulder blades, and Rin
arched his back, spine flexing. Then Haru pressed another finger inside and
curled them, touching the place inside that set off fireworks along his nerves,
and Rin cried out sharply. The hell – and Haru had never done this before?
Either Haru had one hell of an imagination (and that was hard to picture), or
someone had done some research about this. Haru did that again, and Rin had no
breath to cry out this time. "Stop. Too..." he gasped out, and mercifully, Haru
stopped, sticking to shallow thrusts which dwindled to half-turns.
Makoto's thumb brushed over a hipbone tenderly as he watched Rin in visible
concern. "Are you sure you're ready? We can finish it this way. We've got
time."
Trust Makoto to be concerned more about his partner than himself. If Makoto's
eyes weren't so dark and firmly fixed where Haru's fingers penetrated Rin, one
might even have believed him. But Rin wasn't going to waste his first time with
them, he'd wanted this too long. So Rin shook his head adamantly. "Just – do
it."
Having an extra partner was good for at least one thing, like undressing the
other partner when Rin was too distracted to do it himself. Haru took off
Makoto's briefs with much more gentleness than he'd used with Rin, which was
interesting, if not quite unexpected. Then Haru reached over to slick Makoto's
cock, and Rin could watch Makoto close his eyes and let his head fall back with
a groan. Mm, pretty. Makoto's throat worked while Haru stroked him, presumably
to slick him up, but for all Rin knew, Haru could be doing it for the same
reason Rin would: to watch Makoto moan and tense under his touch. God, but
Makoto was gorgeous like this.
Finally, however, it seemed Haru was done teasing them both, and pushed Rin's
hips down. Rin swatted at his hands. "I got it," he said, a bit annoyed.
Honestly. He was the experienced one here.
"I want to," Haru said simply, and Rin couldn't help softening at that. Still,
Haru at least knew enough to back off and let Rin take it at his own pace for
the next part. Rin took a deep breath and reached for Makoto's cock –
impressive as expected – and pressed until he felt his muscles give. It ached,
a little; it had been a while and Makoto wasn't small, but he was too impatient
to take this slower. He held himself still, letting his body open up a little
more, then sank down. Probably faster than he should, but then since when did
Matsuoka Rin ever do what he was supposed to? He leaned forward to rest his
hands on Makoto's chest, his body shaking a bit too much to continue without a
break, and heard Makoto let out a strangled groan. Rin looked at him, at the
tight expression of wonder, arousal and desperation. In effort not to move, Rin
realized with exasperated affection. To give Rin time to adjust. Then – and Rin
was really beginning to suspect Haru was evil changeling and possibly a latent
sex maniac – Haru slicked them where they were joined, making both of them
moan. And Makoto's hands grasped him by the hips, and that seemed like a good
signal as any. Tentatively, Rin rose up a little, then sank down, and holy
shit. Rin moaned shamelessly, and did that again. And again.
"Makoto, move...!" Rin gritted out between moans. The next moment Makoto
slammed upward, and Rin's voice rose sharply in pitch and volume. He was so
full, speared open, almost skirting the edge of pain but never quite there,
with jolt of pleasure lighting up his spine with each thrust. Someone was
making obscene sounds, and Makoto was really grinding into him now. Rin jumped
when Haru's fingers casually flicked over his nipple, so sensitive that even a
light touch was almost too much. Haru's hand was bold, skimming over his
stomach, tracing hard muscles there, then down, to fondle his cock with more
care than before. Rin tensed, a sound too desperate to be called a moan torn
from his throat, shaking. Makoto was making another strangled sound under him,
hands tightening on his hips, but it seemed even Makoto's infinite patience was
at an end. The next moment, Makoto pulled him down sharply, slamming against
him now. His hips jerked helplessly between Makoto fucking him raw and Haru
stroking him with a swift and sure touch. The pleasure was almost too much,
enough to drown him. Haru's fingers plucked at a nipple, then moved to his
lower back, stroking down, making him arch.
Then further down to trace the rim of flesh stretched wide around Makoto's
cock, then pressed just so and the fingertips started to enter right along
Makoto's cock.
Everything went white at that point, and Rin was conscious of nothing for what
must had been seconds, but felt like an eternity. When he came to, Makoto was
hammering against him desperately, and Haru had an arm around him, supporting
him, keeping him mostly upright while Makoto ground hard into him and came with
a sound like a scream with teeth clenched. Rin made a helpless sound, watching
Makoto shudder underneath like he was falling to pieces in an exquisite agony
of pleasure. Rin knew he would never forget that image for as long as he lived.
Then Haru gently lowered him, and Rin sank forward gratefully. He was pretty
sure his limbs would not support his weight. Makoto was panting in his ear,
skin hot and slick with sweat, chest heaving under Rin's. Makoto's cock was
still inside him, and the thought made him tighten reflexively, like a jolt of
awareness, until Makoto made a pained sound. "Rin," Makoto whimpered his name,
and it was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. Rin smiled, not bothering
to open his eyes. "Are you...are you okay?"
"I don't think Rin was screaming from pain," Haru commented dryly from
somewhere above them. Rin stirred, but found his body completely and totally
uncooperative. "Given how hard he came."
Oh, so that was what the sticky mess on Makoto's belly was. He'd... Rin might
have blushed if he wasn't glowing steadily already. “Fine,” Rin mumbled.
“Just...gimme a minute.” His mouth was reasonably close to Makoto’s ear. He was
sure Makoto would get it. Either way Rin wasn’t moving until he was good and
ready. Makoto rubbed his back gently, which felt nice, and Rin was almost
drifting when Makoto spoke again.
"Haru?" Makoto called softly. "What about – do you want to—"
There was someone else’s hand running over his back, and Rin made a tired
noise, not even bothering to twitch. But there was an inquiry in that touch. A
question.
“I want to try that,” Haru said, voice still quiet, but laced with a hint of
something unfamiliar.
There must be something about Haru that sparks eternal feelings of rivalry in
Rin. Either that or he had enough time to recover and his brain was now able to
process nuances again. "With?" he drawled. Rin didn't think it would be a smart
idea for either Makoto or Haru to go all the way on their first try. Well, they
could, but would probably end up regretting it tomorrow.
Though it might be funny if Haru had to sit out on the club practice because he
was too sore to swim.
"Rin," Haru murmured, voice lower, almost hypnotic, and the hand caressing his
back had turned slower and more sensual. An enticement more than a question,
now. Then Haru’s hand moved down, and Rin couldn’t mistake what Haru wanted.
Rin could refuse. Haru could press, and Rin suspected he would, but Rin could
just say no.
"Haru, I don't think... Why don't I—" Makoto again.
Rin managed to lift his head on the second try. "Only if you want to take the
day off tomorrow."
Makoto's hands massaged his lower back, soothing. "Will you be okay, Rin?"
Rin sighed. So much for the afterglow. He shifted and deliberately relaxed,
letting Makoto slip out of him. A small hiss escaped him despite his effort. As
mind-blowing as it had been, his body was beginning to protest. Makoto made a
noise that was almost a whine, like a puppy being deprived of a favorite toy,
and his mind was so very much not going there if Rin could help it. Rin sat up
gingerly, surveying himself. He might end up with finger-shaped bruises in
interesting places tomorrow, but hopefully those weren’t noticeable at a quick
glance. At least nobody left hickeys on his throat. Those would have made it
way too obvious what he’d been up to over the weekend. “Unless Haru marked my
back, yeah.”
"I mean..." Makoto was blushing. Hard. "I didn't...hurt you, did I?"
For some odd reason the question embarrassed him and Rin looked away briefly to
compose himself. They'd just had sex, though. He might as well be honest,
particularly if they planned to make this a regular thing. "No. It's just been
a while. I'll be a little sore tomorrow, but it won't be too bad." Haru was
still keeping a hand on his back, though. And Haru had waited patiently. "Want
me to blow you?" he asked Haru bluntly.
Haru looked from Makoto to Rin, then back to Makoto again. Makoto looked
guilty, and gave a little wince, all but squirming under Haru's look. "I did
say Rin first, today," Haru said finally, and Makoto looked rather relieved.
"Oh, not you too," Rin growled. It was bad enough Makoto was so good at guilt-
tripping him into agreeing with whatever they wanted. Now Haru wanted to ride
the guilt-trip-Rin-into-submission bandwagon too?
Also, it wasn’t going to work, damn it.
Dependable Makoto was dependable, particularly when coming to a friend's
rescue. "How about you do it with me instead?" Makoto cajoled, and it was
disturbing how similar he sounded to the times he was trying to convince Haru
to eat something other than mackerel. "What if Rin can't swim tomorrow?"
Ooh, big guns. If there was one thing that Haru couldn't bear, it was the
thought of no swimming.
"Would you be able to anyway?" Haru asked Rin, almost innocent if it hadn't
been for the context of the question. "Makoto's rather—"
Yes, Makoto was rather big, and no, Rin did not need the reminder, thank you
very much. Rin groaned for what felt like fiftieth time that day. "You really
wanna be inside me that much?"
Haru shrugged, but his blue eyes, when Rin caught them, were alight with
interest. Stupid virgin idiots. Always with the reckless abstinence business
until hormones addled their brains and left them desperate to jump the nearest
warm body. "You were beautiful in the water," Haru said, and – okay, Rin hadn't
expected that. That it was Rin that Haru wanted, not just sex. "And out of it.
With Makoto," Haru added because he was a manipulative bastard. Rin really
hadn't expected Haru to be any good at sweet-talking. Or maybe Rin was too
easily seduced. "I want to see you like that again."
Now that was just plain unfair. Rin could almost feel his resolve weaken. But
damn, Rin was hoping he could swim tomorrow. Well, he could, but he probably
wouldn't be fast, which was worse. And he was still trying to convince
Mikoshiba that he should be in the relay lineup for the nationals. But then
Makoto really might try to fumble his way through with Haru. Ah, hell. Letting
Haru have his way would be easier than trying to coach both idiots at the same
time. Rin made a mental note to have Makoto and Haru look up the mechanics of
anal sex for their next time. Hopefully they were both well acquainted with
Google. Haru seemed to be, anyway.
"Just this once," Rin said gruffly. "And only because both of you don't know
what you're doing. I'm not doing this again." With that obligatory disclaimer,
Rin moved away from Makoto to lie down on his back. The look Haru gave him,
half surprised and half uncertain, was enough to placate his ego, that Haru
wasn’t taking him for granted. Good. Matsuoka Rin didn't roll over for just
anyone. With a smirk, he spread his legs, keeping his eyes locked with Haru's.
"Well?"
Rin could have sworn Haru's eyes sparkled. Hand to God. Like sunlight striking
water. Then they darkened, and Rin braced himself to be jumped, but instead
Haru moved to kneel between his legs with surprising restraint. Next to him,
Makoto sat up, peering down at Rin worriedly. "Are you sure you'll be—"
"Oh for... I'll be fine, you can blow me after if you're so worried," Rin
snapped, but couldn't quite keep the affection from his voice.
"I'll try," Makoto promised so readily, Rin almost felt guilty before
remembering blowjobs were a very, very good thing. One could never have too
many of those.
Haru caressed his thighs just like he'd done in the pool before, but there was
a whisper of uncertainty in his touch now. Rin let out a short and impatient
sigh. "Haru, if you're not sure what to do, ask."
"Should I," Haru started, then halted. "Do the same thing as before?"
Rin lifted himself on his elbows to spear him with a look. "You mean stretch
me? No. Just use more lube. I should be still..."
That was when Haru lunged at him and took his mouth. And there were strangled,
obscene sounds escaping Haru. Okay, maybe that was a bit flattering, too. To
have Haru lapping at him like he couldn't get enough. Enough incentive, anyway,
for Rin to lean back, anticipation thrumming through him again with surprising
urgency, like he hadn't come just minutes ago. Haru's slick fingers reached
between his legs, but instead of going for his ass it went to his cock. Haru's
grip was light, more gliding than pumping, but it still made Rin jump. Like he
needed the additional stimulation. Like it wasn't enough to have Haru devouring
him with his eyes like Rin was the most delectable dish of mackerel ever to
grace his table. And Haru was going for his entrance with his other hand,
spreading more lube and teasing with his fingers because Nanase Haruka was a
fiend in disguise. Probably something aquatic. Then those fingers entered him,
touching just deep enough to make him see stars. Rin was seriously beginning to
suspect the whole Haru as an innocent virgin theory when Haru did it again,
making him jerk with a gasp. And again.
"Haru," Makoto ground out, and he sounded thick even to Rin's distracted ears.
"Stop teasing," Makoto finally managed, his hands caressing Rin’s chest,
running down his abdomen. Makoto was staring down at him like he wanted to do
it all over again, and Rin strained upward, wanting Makoto's mouth on his
again, and Makoto obliged him with an open-mouthed kiss, swallowing his moan.
"Rin," Makoto whispered directly against his lips. "You're so beautiful."
It should have been embarrassing how happy that simple assessment made him. But
Rin's spine was melting anyway, turning his body liquid under the warmth.
Haru's hands were on his knees, urging his legs up and apart, and Rin complied
easily. There was a tiny hint of tremor in Haru's hands when they smoothed over
his thighs, which was deeply gratifying. The way Haru closed his eyes and bit
his lower lip when Makoto reached over to help slick his cock shouldn't be so
attractive, either. Rin held back a sigh and accepted the fact he was stupidly
fond of both his idiot friends.
Rin was a bit sore when Haru entered him, but Haru wasn't quite as thick as
Makoto. Hell, Rin had never had a partner who was quite as well built as
Makoto. But the discomfort still made him wince, a little. His insides were
hot, almost pulsing, and he could feel every inch sliding in deeper. Haru was
shaking by the time he was fully inside, hunched over Rin, struggling to catch
his breath. And a stray burst of tenderness made Rin reach up and caress the
side of Haru's face. To his surprise, Haru turned his face to catch Rin's wrist
with his lips. The next moment, shimmering dark blue eyes met Rin's.
That was all the warning Rin had before Haru pulled back and drove into him
hard. Rin's surprised noise came out garbled and cut off, but damn if it wasn't
hot, the way Haru stared down at him. And Rin's hips lifted on their own,
moving against Haru in tandem, and then Makoto latched onto his mouth and he
had no more breath to do anything but hold on desperately while Haru took him
hard and deep.
Rin whimpered into Makoto's mouth, who was kissing him like he wanted to taste
every sound Rin made. Haru, despite his clear impatience, did not move fast.
But Haru wasn't gentle, either, each thrust deep and slow and rough, making Rin
feel every inch of Haru's cock as it pulled out and pushed back inside with an
exquisite burn. Rin nearly bit down on Makoto's tongue in his mouth, making
muffled sounds, but Makoto only moaned back. When Makoto pulled away, his green
eyes were alight with fresh arousal, and he shared a searing and surprisingly
ungentle kiss with Haru.
Makoto split the time between kissing Rin and Haru, but Haru's attention, even
as he continued to thrust into Rin, was now on Makoto. Rin found out why when
Makoto moaned between kisses, and sounded just like when he was inside Rin.
Makoto was stroking himself, watching Haru fuck Rin with unabashed and rapt
attention. Then everything became a confusing mess again, with Makoto's fingers
tangled in his hair and Haru's tongue in his mouth and someone's hand on his
cock and Haru, fucking him harder and faster now, fire stroking along his
nerves—
For weeks to come Rin would deny he screamed himself hoarse as he came hard for
the second time in less than fifteen minutes.
Afterward – because there was always an afterward – they fell asleep together
for a nap, arms and legs tangled in a heap. Rin woke up briefly and found
himself sandwiched between Makoto and Haru, Makoto whose cheek was pressed
against his hair and Haru who'd turned over in his sleep with an arm thrown
over Rin. Makoto's face was lax in his sleep, looking very much like an
overgrown puppy snoozing. Even Haru looked younger, expression untroubled and
not so serious. Rin couldn't help the tiny smile that pulled at his lips.
For the first time in a long time, Rin went to sleep feeling happy and not
alone.
Chapter End Notes
     So I've got an editorial decision to make here. Technically, when I
     first started this fic, getting together was pretty much the sole
     purpose, which means the fic should have ended here. As I was writing
     it didn't, but the later chapters were dragging and boring, hence the
     not-finishing. Possibly there will be more smut coming at the end,
     but that's all up in the air. They're also not finished at this time,
     which means slower updates. I might be better off just stopping here.
     I haven't decided yet, so I'm leaving this fic marked incomplete for
     the moment. If I decide to stop here, I'll come back and mark it
     complete. If not, we'll see. Feel free to consider this the end if
     you like. =)
     Thank you all for your kind support. I'm seriously wowed by all the
     positive feedback I've received. And extra-special thanks to everyone
     who commented! And whipped cream with cherry on top if you commented
     more than once. :D
     If you ever have a question or comment but don't feel up to leaving
     AO3 comment, I do have a Tumblr account that I don't know how to use
     here: LeShaed. If you follow me there I'll probably bore you to
     tears, but I'll happily follow you back! :D
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Notes
     Ladies, thank you for hanging there with me! (Do we have any
     gentlemen representing? I wasn't sure, since Free! seems so ladies-
     oriented. Sorry if I offend anyone with my ignorance.) And the
     gentlemen, too. ;)
     So this chapter is like the filler episode in your non-live soaps
     anime series: BORING. And for those who were happy with Ch 5 as the
     end, this chapter is probably not for you. Please note the Back
     button is above to your left. Remember: Back button a day keeps
     sanity at bay! Orz.
     I may (possibly potentially maybe) post updates on my Tumblr:
     leshaed. My Tumblr is also open to anonymous asks if anyone has any
     question/comment/concern/plain hate that cannot be expressed with AO3
     comments alone. :D
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Strictly in hindsight, Rin should have known better than to accept when Haru
invited him to use the shower. Because Rin was right, Haru was totally a latent
sex maniac and by shower Haru apparently meant a shower together. For all three
of them. And did Rin mention Haru's bathroom wasn't that big? While he didn't
object to rubbing up against wet and naked Makoto and Haru, hell, he really
wasn't up for another round in the bathroom what with the dubious footing. Then
of course Haru wanted Makoto to make good on his word to blow Rin. Which Makoto
did. With surprising skill, no less. Haru just commented something about
popsicles practice, to which Makoto went red but didn't refute the point. If
Rin were feeling less lethargic he might have been more curious about just what
the other two have been doing with themselves in Rin's absence. But even Haru
must have been tired, because after that Haru just got Makoto and himself off
with a simple handjob while Rin watched.
To his credit Haru did offer to let them stay over, but Rin really needed to
get back to Samezuka. Besides which, he wanted some time to think. Makoto still
insisted on walking him to the train station despite protest, but Makoto also
surprised him with a quick kiss before letting Rin go, so that was all right.
Once the train left the station, leaving behind a waving Makoto, Rin sat down.
And promptly winced. Damn. He'd known he would regret it later, but now he was
rethinking the whole swimming practice thing for tomorrow. They really were
going to have to coordinate their trysts better. Or at least take turns missing
practice next time.
Next time. He was already assuming there would be a next time.
True, neither Makoto nor Haru had looked panicked afterward. That wasn't to say
there weren't so very many ways all this could go wrong. Not to mention it
surprised Rin, his own willingness to accept both Makoto and Haru that way. His
crush on Makoto was relatively recent, dated after his reconciliation with the
group. Or possibly a little earlier, dated sometime after noticing Makoto's
incredible back. His obsession with Haru wasn't new, but he hadn't thought it
was anything but rivalry. The only thing that kept Rin from suspecting there
was something in the water was the fact he still didn't feel that way about
Nagisa. In fact, when he tried to consider Nagisa that way, his mind's reaction
could be summed up as a squicked Eew like if he'd tried to have thoughts about
Gou, maybe. Which, and this point warranted a virulently emphatic repetition,
EEW. So no, it really was just Makoto and Haru.
Haru said he wanted this. Haru wasn't the most expressive person in the world
and when he did get verbal it could be kind of rude or exasperating, but Haru
never said anything he didn't mean. Plus Haru did care about Rin and Makoto,
that much Rin was sure. And Makoto was pretty good at keeping his word and he
said no matter what, he would still be involved with Haru and Rin, right? Even
if he still had some doubts (and Rin was definitely still convinced all this
was doomed to failure), that much he could trust.
If there was a little bit of time before everything crashed and burned, he
could enjoy himself until then. Right?
Just then, his phone chimed, alerting him of an incoming message. Rin took out
his phone and saw a new text message from Makoto.
Hope you have a safe trip home.
A smile curved his lips before he could stop himself, and Rin had to look
around to make sure nobody caught him grinning like an idiot. But since he
hadn't actually turned into a teenage girl yet, Rin made sure to wait until
after he was in the dorm lobby to send his suitably manly reply.
I did, thanks.
Makoto replied immediately. You're welcome. Good night Rin!
Rin hesitated, then texted back simply: Good night.
Alright. While he wasn't willing to hold out hope that the three of them would
work out in the end, maybe he could give them a few weeks.
With the thought in his mind, Rin whistled as he walked back to his room.
                                     * * *
"Hang out?" Rin switched the phone to his other hand, trying to balance it
between his shoulder and his ear while he continued to go through his drawer.
"This Saturday? Sure. Where – no, I can come over, you and Haru live closer to
the mall than I do anyway."
Makoto's voice, when it came, was a little too cheerful. Like he was nervous
and trying to cover it up, maybe. "It's going to be just the two of us, Rin.
Haru can't make it."
That sounded unlikely. For one, all of Haru's free time was split between the
pool at school and the bathtub at home. Makoto was the one who had to split his
time for family, friends, club, school and gazillion other things he did for
other people on a routine basis. Also it was a Saturday. What could Haru
possibly be doing on a Saturday that didn't involve Makoto?
"Haru said that?" Rin asked, suspicion creasing his brows.
"It was Haru's idea," Makoto said, just evasive enough to deepen Rin's
suspicion.
Rin dropped what he was doing and sat down in his chair, taking the phone in
his hand again. He'd said before that Haru would wake up and realize everything
was a huge mistake. Haru hadn't ever been in a relationship before, let alone a
three-way relationship. And they hadn't seen each other even once since the
last time. Did Haru regret it? Was that why Makoto was left making excuses for
him?
"Makoto."
"Yes?"
"You said you'll be there for us no matter what, yes? In whatever capacity?"
There was a short pause at the other end. "Yes. Of course."
Rin narrowed his eyes. "So. When you tell me Haru doesn't want to hang out with
us—"
"Oh, no! It's not that. It's just—"
"—You'll tell me if it's because he regrets—"
"Rin, no. Really." Makoto's voice grew firm, and Rin stopped. "It's not that.
It's just... Haru suggested that you and I go on a date. Just – just to see
what it's like."
Rin considered this. "Just the two of us."
"Yes."
"But he's okay with the rest?"
Makoto actually laughed softly in his ear. "Yes, he's perfectly okay with the
rest. I told you, it was Haru's idea. He really cares about you, and you said
you..." Makoto's voice became softer and more hesitant again. "You said you
like me, so Haru wanted us to have a date together."
From what Rin had seen, Haru had an unexpectedly strong streak of jealousy.
Haru hadn't been happy at all to hear about Makoto's ex-girlfriend, and even
questioned Rin's relationship with Nitori. The same Haru was arranging a date
for just the two of them. Because Haru wanted to make him happy.
Rin was very glad they were on the phone. He was probably pulling a really
stupid face just now. "So...am I going on a date with Haru next?"
"I suggested that. He said he'd like to, if you agree." Makoto let out a fond
laugh. "Of course he immediately asked where he should take you for the date,
but I thought maybe you two could figure it out together."
"We'll figure it out later." With Haru they could always have a date at a pool,
he supposed, but Rin really didn't want their every date to be at a pool. There
had to be some other place they could hang out that didn't involve water. "What
about you and Haru? Where are you two going?" Just so he could make sure he and
Haru went somewhere else. He could start there and brainstorm later.
"We're not?" Makoto...well, Rin had known Makoto since they were children.
Makoto had liked Haru forever. They were finally together. Sort of. And Makoto
wasn't taking Haru out for a date? "I mean, Haru and I hang out all the time
and we spend way more time with each other than with you, so I didn't think
he'd want to."
Rin raised an eyebrow. Like he was going to buy that. "Ask him out anyway.
Haru's the one who's big on being even."
Makoto's voice, when it finally came, was soft, with something underneath that
made Rin swallow to hear it. "Okay. Thank you, Rin."
Self-consciously, Rin dragged his free hand through his hair. "No prob. So:
Saturday?"
"Yes. I'll come pick you up at ten." Then, Makoto hesitated for a second. "And
if you want to go somewhere else, just tell me and we can change our plans,
okay?"
Yeah, no. He was still not a teenage girl, thank you. "Meet you at the mall at
ten," Rin corrected him, but didn't quite manage to sound stern. "There's no
reason for you to waste a trip out here. I know my way around."
"Um. Right." Sheepish. "Sorry. D-did you have any place you want to visit?"
Rin shook his head, but couldn't help feeling fond. Stupid Makoto and his
stupid old-fashioned boyfriend ethics. Makoto was probably going to show up
half an hour early like a good date and pretend he just got there and then
spend the rest of the day trying to make Rin happy. If Rin wasn't so
idiotically head over heels over the boy, he might have felt annoyed at the
presumption. "Tell you what. You pick a couple, and I'll pick a couple. We can
figure out the rest as we go."
"Deal," Makoto agreed immediately. "I'll see you on Saturday."
"Yeah. See you."
After he hung up, Rin stretched in his chair. Now what did he have to wear that
might be good for a date? Not that he was going to agonize over it unduly long,
but he refused to look anything less than his best for this date. Because if
Makoto's trend in boyfriend ethics held, Makoto was likely to dress up for the
occasion. And if Rin had anything to say about it, they were going to be the
best dressed pair at the mall come Saturday.
                                     * * *
On Saturday, Makoto was waiting for him at the mall entrance all dressed up and
early as expected. Rin tried not to feel too smug at the way Makoto stared at
him speechlessly for a full minute.
"Hi. Um. You look really nice." Makoto cleared his throat, and there was a
faint dusting of red high on his cheeks. "I mean, you always look nice but you
look really nice today, and..."
"Thanks. You look pretty good yourself." He was not a girl, Rin reminded
himself. He was not going to glow at what was a perfectly justified comment
regarding his appearance. Much. "Ready to go?"
After an entire morning together at the mall, Rin made a mental note to never
visit the swimwear section with Makoto again. And the ice cream parlor. And the
pet shop. Especially the pet shop. Makoto and kittens together really should
come with a warning label. Honestly, it was a relief to sit down for lunch.
Makoto was getting their food while Rin staked out their table. The latter was
no simple task on a Saturday afternoon, and Rin was quite proud to successfully
claim a window-side table for them. Makoto smiled at him when he finally
returned, and set down the tray. "Oh wait, napkins. I'll be right back."
"Sit down. I'll go get them."
"No, it's okay. You go ahead and start. I'll be back in a second."
And Makoto was gone before Rin could reply. When Makoto returned, Rin gave him
a withering look. "You know, I'm not a girl. It's okay to let me get things
myself."
"Oh. Um." Makoto gave an embarrassed chuckle. "It's not that. I guess I'm just
used to doing it for Haru when we're out together. Sorry. I didn't mean to,
er..."
"Make me feel emasculated?" Rin offered dryly. "Don't sweat it. Just..." So
this was not a case of Makoto with a girlfriend, but a case of Makoto with
Haru. "...You don't need to, with me." The next part was a little harder to get
out, and Rin unconsciously took in a quick breath. "I'm not Haru."
"Oh, but—" Makoto stopped, then visibly reconsidered what he was going to say.
Then, with a sheepish smile, Makoto leaned back in his seat. "Okay. I'll
remember."
"Where do you want to go after lunch?" Yeah, that wasn't a blatant change of
topic or anything. Rin pressed a knuckle on his forehead. Why was it his
thoughts sounded sarcastic even inside his own head? He was beginning to annoy
himself.
"...I thought maybe you'd like to pick?" Makoto's easy smile wasn't quite at
ease as usual. "I picked before, after all."
"Did you always go along with whatever your date wanted before?"
"There's nothing wrong with wanting to accommodate the other person." There was
an edge underlying Makoto's tone that made Rin wonder if he'd stepped on a
landmine. "I mean, when I don't have a particular preference and I don't mind
either way. And Rin, it's been years since we hung out properly and I don't
know what you enjoy these days. I'd like to find out what you like."
That was a fair point. Actually, even before, Rin had been a transfer student
and so much of their free time together had been at the pool back then. He
didn't know what grown-up Makoto (or Haru, for that matter) enjoyed, either. "I
like listening to music," Rin offered. "Look, I want to find out what you like,
too. It's not like I've had time to develop that many hobbies outside
swimming."
Makoto gave him a rueful smile. "Good point. We could visit a music store
later, maybe? As for me, it's not exactly something I do often, but..."
"Spit it out, then."
Makoto's smile turned mischievous. Somewhere in the back of Rin's brain an
alarm went off.
Belatedly, Rin wondered if he should have asked before committing.
                                     * * *
"You just wanted to see me trip over my own feet," Rin accused as they exited
the arcade.
"You said you like listening to music."
"DDR music is not music."
Makoto grinned at him, unrepentant. "And I could never get Haru to do that with
me. He told me it's lame the last time I mentioned it. Sometimes I like it,
though." Then, his expression turned sweeter, gentler. "Thanks, Rin. I had
fun."
"Yeah, yeah." Rin thrust his hands in his pockets, then blinked to feel
something stiff and slippery. He pulled out his hands, remembering he'd put the
carefully cut strip of sticker pictures in his pocket before. Makoto had
already put one on his cell phone. Rin's refusal to do the same prompted a sad
drooping look of disappointment, and Rin had compromised by putting it on his
wallet. Seriously, spending time with Makoto was hazardous to his mental
health. Maybe that was why Haru turned out so weird? The stray thought made Rin
snicker softly.
"Would you like pick our next stop?" Makoto asked, and Rin shrugged, trying to
think of a place that didn't involve pool or swimming or aquatic sport of any
sort but wouldn't bore either one out of their minds.
"Rin," Makoto said, and Rin raised his eyes to look at him. "Don't feel like
you have to choose the right place? I told you I used to go along with what my
girlfriend wanted, but that wasn't only because I was trying to accommodate
her. The point is that we spend time together and enjoy each other's company.
What we actually do isn't as important."
And there was that look again. One that made Rin's heart skip a beat, then
redouble its pace.
"No matter where we go, it'll be fun," Makoto promised, lips curving just a
little bit in a hint of a smile. "Because we're together."
Actually, Makoto alone should probably come with a warning label period. Rin
had to look away for a moment, to try and regain some resemblance of coherence.
"Okay," Rin said when he was sure his voice would come out steady. But
something snagged his attention, like a caught thread. When Makoto talked about
his ex-girlfriend, he'd sounded a bit...tense, Rin decided tentatively, when
the issue of being accommodating came up. Haru might not want to know, and
maybe Rin didn't really want details. But still.
"Was that an issue with your girlfriend?"
Well. That was specific. But Makoto seemed to understand him with the same
uncanny instinct he had for Haru. "You mean, being too accommodating?" Rin
nodded. Makoto shrugged, but it was clear this wasn't a topic he was entirely
comfortable with. "Yes."
The whole supportive thing was never Rin's forte. But they were dating, sort
of, and he should at least make an effort. There was no harm in asking if
Makoto was willing to talk about it.
"D'you wanna to talk about it?"
Makoto looked a little bit startled, then considering.
"We don't have to," Rin hastily reassured him. "I mean. I know Haru said he
doesn't want to hear about it. But I don't mind. Hearing about it."
Oh God, his brain had turned to mush. It was probably the aftereffect of Makoto
and the kittens. Definitely a warning label warranted. Warning: toxic level of
cuteness may permanently impair your brain functions.
Before Rin could continue his mental flailing, however, Makoto smiled at him.
"If you're sure you won't mind."
"I don't," Rin said, perhaps a little more emphatic than necessary, but given
the state of his mind, he thought he was doing commendably well.
"She said she could never be sure what I wanted. That I was too accommodating."
A self-conscious laugh. "I think that was the girls' code word for boring. I'm
not exactly the most exciting person to be around."
Were you hurt? The words were on the tip of his tongue, but Rin held them back.
If the answer was yes, he wasn't sure what he'd have done. In either case, Rin
knew Makoto would deny it. "Did you like her?" was what escaped him instead.
Rin could have banged his head against a wall if there had been one handy
nearby. Foot, meet mouth.
Makoto looked...not exactly taken aback, but more like he didn't expect that
question. After mulling over the question for a few minutes, Makoto answered
slowly. "I thought I did. I wanted it to work out." Makoto's lips took on a
slight downturn. "I wanted her to be happy."
There was a sick, twisting sensation in his gut that Rin couldn't name. Haru,
he could have accepted. And Makoto had always had a big heart and cared about
everyone and their kittens. But the thought of Makoto actually liking someone
that way, someone outside them, was... He couldn't put his feelings to words.
Like he could hate a person for existing, even when he didn't even know her.
Unpleasant. Sickening.
"If she wasn't, she didn't deserve you." He tried to keep his voice light, but
it came out flat, almost hostile.
Fortunately, Makoto didn't seem offended. "It wasn't a matter of deserving,
really. I just came to a conclusion. That if we weren't happy together, maybe
we weren't supposed to be together, you know? I never have to be – something
I'm not with Haru because he knows me. He understands it when I go along with
him, it's because I want to, not because I'm hiding myself or – or –"
"...I'm going to regret asking," Rin said slowly, "but did you happen to talk
about Haru when you were with her?"
"Um. Yeah. I mean. It slipped out a few times. Haru's always been my best
friend."
Makoto hadn't denied it when Rin asked if he broke up with his girlfriend
because of Haru. Rin had been teasing, mostly, but hadn't thought he might have
hit upon the truth, albeit in an entirely different way than he'd thought.
Count on Nanase Haruka to sabotage someone's relationship while not even being
there. Or aware of it. "And she didn't like that, I'm guessing."
"No. She—"
After a moment of silence, Rin leaned closer to Makoto, bumping shoulders.
"Look. You can tell me. I'm not Haru and I'm not going to tell anyone if you
want."
Makoto gave him an affectionate glance. "I know." A second later, Makoto
continued. "She said I spent more time with Haru than I ever did with her. On
the day we broke up, she – we were both upset and said some things. But I
thought about them later and she might have been right."
"What did she say?"
"That it wasn't natural to think more about a friend than about a girlfriend.
And that I went along with her because I didn't care."
The second part wasn't true, and if the said ex-girlfriend knew Makoto at all,
she should have known that. Rin allowed himself another surge of uncharitable
thoughts toward the unknown ex, with a side of vindication she wasn't in the
picture anymore. "And you thought she was right, about you and Haru?"
"Maybe? I know friends and girlfriends are different. But with her, I was never
sure what she expected from me. Like I could never just be myself. And that
became exhausting. I never felt that way with Haru." Then, with a shy smile,
Makoto offered, "Or with you."
Rin could feel the heat spreading on his neck. Makoto darted furtive glances
around them, then before Rin could ask what was going on, leaned closer and
kissed Rin lightly on the lips.
"You're blushing," Makoto informed him, voice warm and pleased.
"Am not," Rin countered automatically. He could feel his face turn warmer now
that Makoto chose to bring it up. Damn. "Trick of the lights."
Makoto tactfully didn't pursue, though the amused smile said he wasn't buying
Rin's excuse. "Thanks for listening, Rin."
"Welcome," Rin said, a bit gruff.
Rin would never know exactly what set Makoto off. The next moment, Makoto's
fingers were curling around the back of his neck tenderly, almost protectively.
Then Makoto kissed him.
It was hardly the first time Makoto kissed him. But Makoto hadn't kissed him
quite like this before, like he was trying to weave reassurance and affection
with every breath. The protectiveness of Makoto's touch, instead of making him
irritated, made him embarrassingly happy. Rin was abruptly reminded of the time
Haru kissed Makoto in the pool, all but wrapped around Makoto who held him up
so lovingly. He was not Haru, and couldn't ever bring himself to do that. Haru
was pretty straightforward about some things, but more importantly, Haru never
had a reason to feel insecure where Makoto was concerned. Never had a reason to
wonder if he'd be unwelcome, or if Makoto didn't prefer someone else's company.
Rin didn't grudge them their bond. Never had. But it was hard not to feel
excluded, sometimes. Added to the problem was the undeniable fact he'd been
away for four years. Hadn't kept in touch with them through no one else's fault
but his own, which would be why he couldn't even figure out where to go next
with Makoto.
"Rin," Makoto whispered, and drew back just enough to smile at him. "I'm so
glad to have you back."
Only Tachibana Makoto was able to render him speechless like this. Rin
swallowed dryly, and had to clear his throat before he could speak again. "I'm
glad to be back, too." He really didn't want to bring this up now, but he
hadn't actually apologized for the first time they met after he returned to
Japan. Makoto would probably tell him it wasn't necessary. But then again,
Makoto would say a lot of things weren't necessary with him, and Rin didn't
want that. Didn't ever want Makoto to receive less than what he gave.
"And I'm sorry about the time we ran into each other. That night at the old
club," Rin specified. "I shouldn't have ignored you and Nagisa. And. All the
times after."
Makoto blinked, like he was surprised Rin bothered. "Oh, that's okay. I
understand."
"And for not contacting you. I—"
"Really," Makoto interrupted, gently as only he knew how. "I do understand,
Rin." Then, he added, "Haru didn't tell me about the time he ran into you back
in junior high, either. I'm not expecting you and Haru to tell me everything."
Wry humor quirked Makoto's lips. "Just the important things. And yes, if you
cut off contact this time, I will be mad."
"I won't," Rin promised before thinking twice about the potential train-wreck
in the making that was their current relationship. When he realized, clearly
Makoto had realized the same, because Makoto's grin grew too wide to be quite
innocent.
"I'll hold you to that. No matter what, you promised."
Rin had walked right into that one. Seriously. Being in Makoto's vicinity
impaired all his higher brain functions. "Fine," he capitulated, resigned.
Makoto beamed at him. "Great! So, where do you want to go next?"
Somewhere Makoto wasn't going to have a chance to be so cute. Rin didn't think
he could take any more of that today. They did the DDR already, so maybe they
could go for a session at the karaoke next? Rin was secretly rather proud of
his singing voice and liked visiting karaoke. Not that he was trying to impress
Makoto or anything. It was just a good, relaxing place to go on a date.
Decision made, Rin smirked at him. "Tell you what. My turn to surprise you this
time."
Makoto looked intrigued. "Okay. Lead on."
Chapter End Notes
     What happened at the karaoke may or may not have been much like from
     Ad_Astra's fic, Denial_is_Not_Just_a_River_In_Egypt,_Chapter_2.
     Drinking game: take a sip every time a Denial reference is made in
     this chapter. :D
     No smut yet, sorry. No, not even off-screen. But yes, Makoto DID give
     Rin a chaste and loving kiss before they parted. Well. Maybe not THAT
     chaste.
     Next up: Rin's date with Haru! And other stuff. Leading to the smut
     good stuff. Unfortunately next update will take some time. Sorry. :
     / BUT! In the meantime, Ad_Astra has a lovely, lovely fic she just
     updated because she's beautiful but left at the biggest heartbreaking
     cliffhanger ever because she's evil: Shake_the_Heavens. AND I THINK I
     MAY HAVE HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT DENIAL UPDATE, GUYS. I’m taping down
     my F5 key as a preemptive measure.
     Last but not least, before I forget again: inspiration for the whole
     threesome thing in Superposition! Namely the delicious fics by
     caffeinekitty! Particularly about Makoto kissing Rin, because I
     likely unconsciously borrowed from Language_Arts. Probably also
     Action! and Relaxation_Technique.
***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Notes
     Some Rin/Haru content alert, in case that’s not your cup of tea. =)
     If you've seen the preview on Tumblr, you probably won't even notice
     the tiny changes I made because I am a super lazy editor. Half dead
     over my keyboard, so please excuse mistakes that will slowly vanish
     over the next few days. ;)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"We're not going to an amusement park."
"Why not?"
Glaring into submission never worked with Haru. Rin scowled and gave it his
best shot anyway. "Because it's childish." And not at all because Gou mentioned
something about 75 percent of couples who have dates at an amusement park
ending up with a breakup. He didn't listen to nonsense like that, especially
when his sister was happily reading him pages off one of those highly
questionable magazines with horoscopes and dating tips and...other things. And
he'd only asked Gou for extra ideas, not because he ran out of ideas where to
go with Haru. Actually, he and Haru had ended up going for a far more mundane
option of a movie together. Then, while they were walking through a nearby
park, Haru asked him where he should take Makoto for his date and of course
they had to plan a date for three after that, it was only fair.
"Makoto said he wants to go," Haru argued right back, just as stubborn. Not to
mention – Haru just had to play the Makoto card, didn't he?
"Then you go there with Makoto for your date," Rin retorted before remembering
the whole breakup thing. Which was pure myth, of course. But still.
"No, Makoto said he wants all of us to go together."
Damn. Then, Rin had a sudden moment of inspiration. "You sure you don't want to
stay in?" Rin quirked a brow at Haru, suggestive. "You know, at your place?"
Haru actually hesitated. Which was gratifying. "Makoto wants to try out the new
rides," Haru insisted, and Rin had to give it to him. At least Haru stuck to
his guns when it came to what Makoto wanted. "We can hang out at my house
after."
Rin groaned. "Didn't we have this talk about not being able to have your cake
and eat it too?"
There was a hint of smirk on Haru's face when he answered. "Guess I never
learned to prioritize."
"Brat," Rin countered, but couldn't keep the affection coloring his tone.
"Fine. A short visit to the amusement park." Haru looked unduly smug, which
made Rin wonder if Haru himself hadn't wanted to go there too. Oh, shit, that
was the park which recently added new water rides, wasn't it? Now Haru's
insistence made so much more sense. "You could have just said you want to try
the new water rides," Rin said, a bit piqued Haru had used Makoto against him.
"You care about what Makoto wants."
Rin snorted. "Yeah, well, it's a date for three. What you want counts, too."
"Ah."
Trouble with Haru was, a lot of his communication was non-verbal. Which
probably wasn't a problem with Makoto, who could read Haru's every thought.
With others, though. There might have been a reason Haru didn't interact much
outside the Iwatobi swim club. But Rin was paying attention this time, and
didn't miss the nearly imperceptible note of surprise underneath. Maybe because
he got that, wondering if the other person didn't prefer to spend time with
someone else. With someone who mattered more.
Rin wasn't Makoto, who could always find the right words. Makoto, who was the
kind of person who could call him up like Rin hadn't cut off all contact for
years without any explanation. But this was Haru, who reached out for him even
when Rin saw nothing in himself worth it. Rin blinked when Haru did, realizing
his hand had moved without him knowing, fingers caressing the side of Haru's
face.
Haru's eyes were always beautiful, but right now they were irresistibly soft,
with nothing to shield or hide them. As Rin's thumb brushed over Haru's lips
they opened, in surprise, perhaps, or maybe to say something. Rin would never
know, because his body moved on its own again, to kiss Haru.
Haru made a quiet sound of surprise in the back of his throat, but did not push
him away. Unlike their kisses from before, this one was more subdued. Softer.
More like the goodnight kiss Makoto gave him at the end of their date the
Saturday before. Then, Haru made an impatient noise and grabbed him by both
shoulders, and the kiss turned decidedly unlike the one with Makoto.
Rin let out a short laugh, a huff of breath between their lips. That was just
it. Being with Haru was never going to be like being with Makoto. And maybe
that was the good part. Maybe the best part.
Then Haru chose that moment to hook a leg behind Rin's knee and Rin broke away
with a startled sound. "Haru," Rin gasped, but Haru was undeterred, arching
into Rin's body until they were pressed together. Rin's brain did the short-
circuit thing again (and he was going to have to do something about that
habit), and Rin found Haru's knee between his legs in short order. "Haru,
wait," he tried again, trying to inject as much sternness as he could muster in
his state of distraction. They were in a deserted section of the park, but they
were in full view of any passerby who might come around.
Haru let out a frustrated sigh, but backed off, much to Rin's – relief. Relief.
Not disappointment.
Okay, maybe a little disappointment. "We're in a public place. Seriously.
What's up with you and exhibitionism?"
Haru's brow arched up a tiny bit, expression serious as ever if not for the
gleam of something fiendish in his darkened eyes. "You kissed me first."
"Yeah, but that was not an invitation to ride my leg."
Now if this was Makoto, he'd have been flushed red and stammering. Haru didn't
even change his expression, save for his eyelashes rising and falling in a way
that somehow communicated amusement. Honestly, for someone so emotionally
reserved, Haru was quite shameless when it came to sexuality. One day, Rin
might even get over the shock. "Actually, you were riding my leg."
"Was not," Rin countered without even thinking about his reply. It was amazing,
how much of his need to contradict Haru was a spinal reflex now. He'd probably
do it in his sleep.
To Rin's surprise, though, Haru didn't suggest that they find somewhere private
to continue. Not that Rin was going to suggest it first. Rin wasn't even
thinking about it. Really.
"Why did you kiss me?"
And this was the other problem with Haru. Haru rarely put his feelings into
words. He was, as Makoto said, honest about how he felt. At least physically.
Then he threw Rin on another curve like this with his apparent inability to put
his physical and emotional in synch. Joy, he was discovering all these problems
about being with his two best friends. How on earth did they ever think this
could last?
Except they kind of had. For two weeks, anyway.
"I wanted to," Rin answered honestly. "I do care about you, you know."
"But not the same way you care about Makoto."
"That's the same for you, isn't it?" Rin shot back reflexively, then took a
quick breath. Makoto said they would be there for each other no matter what
happened. Even if their tentative relationship came crashing down on their
heads. They were supposed to be in this together, trying to make it work. Yet
here he was, already ready for the moment it fell apart, when they would
inevitably hurt each other. He could almost see the look Makoto would have
given him: a little sad, a little disappointed, and mostly hurt. Rin took
another breath, then let it out slowly. When he spoke again, Rin's voice was
noticeably gentler. Probably channeling his inner Makoto or something. "You and
Makoto are not the same person. You feel differently for the two of us, don't
you? It's like that for me, too."
Haru mulled over that, then gave him a nod. "I wasn't sure if you'd want to.
With me." Rin could have groaned in frustration. What did Haru have against
concrete, comprehensible verbal expressions? Everything was abstract and vague
when Haru talked. How did he ever carry on a conversation with someone other
than Makoto? "Without Makoto," Haru specified, and Rin tentatively concluded
Haru meant their budding romantic relationship. Or possibly the sex.
Or both, hell. "If you're talking about dating, I don't even know. Can't say
I'm too fond of the way you talk. Or don't talk, for that matter. And your
habit of jumping me." Rin softened his smirk, so it was clear he was joking.
"Or are you talking about the sex part?"
"Both," Haru answered, deadpan as you please. Rin felt his eyebrows twitch.
"I'm not sure. It's—" Rin dragged a hand through his hair with a sigh. "I
wonder about the same thing with Makoto." Honesty for honesty. There, and he
even managed to not sound defensive. Makoto would be proud.
"Makoto said we could. If you and I wanted."
Rin raised an eyebrow at him. "And would you want to, without Makoto?"
"I don't know. Maybe." Haru, to his credit, looked like he was giving the
question proper thought. "Right now, it'd feel strange."
"So for now, save it. Figure it out later," Rin suggested. Because one of them
had to act like an adult here, and clearly it wasn't going to be Haru. Not
where hormones were involved. “We can take our time. Go slow.”
"I don't – I didn't get you, when we first met. You got worked up about the
strangest things and I didn't like the way you made me rethink everything."
Despite the complete non-sequitur, Haru was being expressive. For Haru, anyway.
Rin decided to hold his comment until Haru made sense. Or done. Either or. "You
were disrupting everything I'd ever known. And I resented it. I think that's
why I'd – disliked you at first. Or so I thought."
"Okay," Rin said when Haru paused again, his brain trying to process all that.
The sad thing about Haru was, even when he was being expressive, he wasn't any
more understandable.
"Then you... I’d never cared about competing before. But you said you'd show me
a sight I'd never seen before. And you did. You changed my world." Haru paused,
and a crooked smile pulled at his mouth. "After that I still didn't understand
you or why you'd be so invested about becoming Olympic swimmer or – everything
else. I don't know if I understand you even now. But I..." Haru's mouth looked
so soft, Rin nearly reached out to touch it. Faint dusting of pink spread on
Haru's cheeks, but Haru didn't look away, meeting Rin's eyes, equal parts brave
and stubborn. "I like my world better after you entered it."
That was probably the longest Rin ever heard Haru speak in one sitting. Rin was
sure he could manage a comment or two about that, maybe even crack a joke if he
tried hard enough. But all he could manage was to look back at Haru, nothing
held back, and admit softly: "Me, too."
As much as Haru confessed the same, Rin was pretty sure he would never entirely
get Haru, either. And they got on each other's nerves plenty. But Rin had a
sneaking feeling Haru would probably get away with just about anything whenever
his eyes sparkled like that. Rin was also done with Haru taking control of
their make-out sessions every single time, though, so Rin kissed him first
again. Tried to, anyway, because Haru met him halfway.
Yeah, he and Haru would never stop competing. Ever. Even when it came to things
like kissing and sliding hands under each other's shirt, trying to see who
could reach bare skin faster. But Rin thought he might be sort of okay with
that. Especially when it led to kissing Haru under a tree, the bark rough under
his palm and Haru's hands sliding softly over his back, bunching up his shirt.
Shivering at Haru's hot breath against his neck. Nothing but Haru and the
sunlight warm on his back.
Definitely okay.
                                     * * *
The next Sunday, Haru and Makoto had their very own first date. Two hours into
the said date, Rin decided it would be their last or so help him, he might have
to strangle both his friends. Sort-of-boyfriends. He could use that word. For
the time being, he mentally added out of sheer habit.
First of all, part of the reason Haru and Makoto chose that day was because Rin
had a test on Monday and couldn't join them. There were reasons why classical
literature was Rin's least favorite subject. Not the least of which was that
Rin had spent four years overseas not studying obscure kanji characters. But
trying to focus on the stupidly long passage was quite difficult when Makoto
kept messaging him every other minute.
After text message number sixteen, Rin gave up and picked up his phone and
pressed speed dial for Makoto.
“Rin,” Makoto greeted warmly. “Hey.”
“How’s the date going?”
“Good! We’re at the game shop now and Haru’s looking at the new release
section. He wants to get the one you told him about, what’s the name, ‘The—’”
Rin closed his eyes and took a deep, exasperated breath. “Makoto. Is this you
trying to keep me in the loop while you’re out with Haru?”
“Er.” Makoto sounded sheepish, even over the phone. “Sort of? I don’t want you
to feel—”
“Left out,” Rin finished for him. “And I get that. I appreciate it even. But I
actually need to study today.”
“Oh.” Guilt, now. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Told you he’d tell you off,” Haru said in the background, breaking up a little
but still reasonably clear. Rin glared before remembering they were over the
phone and Haru couldn’t see him. He wasn’t telling Makoto off. At least not in
a mean way.
“Yeah, but...”
“Enjoy your date today, and you can give me the full report next Saturday.” A
reminder, subtle as Rin could make it, to focus on Haru today. Haru had been
the one who came up with the dates thing, and at least a good part of that for
Rin. As touching as it was to have Makoto so concerned for him, it wasn’t fair
to Haru that Makoto was out on a date with him and spent the entire time
texting Rin.
“After we finish, d’you want me...us to come over and help you study?”
Rin, startled by the offer, took a moment to answer. Before he said anything,
however, he was interrupted by another question, this time from Haru.
“Rin, do you have a TV in your room?”
Rin tamped down on the reflexive refusal. Besides which, Makoto was an
excellent student and probably could help him. Rin was proud, not stupid.
“Yeah, sure. And tell Haru I don’t, but he can use the one in the lounge.”
Apparently Makoto either had him on speakerphone or had Haru on top of him,
because Haru immediately answered. “Fine. You’ve got your Nintendo console,
right? We’ll drop by later.”
“What about your roommate? Wouldn’t we inconvenience—” Makoto this time,
recalling his manners because he was Makoto. Which meant the dismissive sound
in the background could only be Haru. Rin made a mental note to keep Haru away
from his hapless roommate. For one, Nitori actually liked Haru, and would be
hurt if Haru kept being so weirdly hostile to him for no apparent reason.
“Ai’s out until Tuesday. Family celebration, he said.”
“Oh. Okay, then. Would you like us to pick up anything on our way? For dinner?”
“Something Thai. If you can manage to convince Haru.”
Haru made a noise that didn’t sound very promising for Makoto, but Makoto
laughed. “Noted. We’ll just make a quick side trip for Haru. See you in the
afternoon, Rin. We’ll try to make it around – how about three or four? Haru?”
“Fine,” Haru said again, sounding uninterested now that he wouldn’t be expected
to deviate from his usual diet. “See you, Rin.”
“Start carrying your own phone,” Rin advised Haru tartly. “See you two later.”
                                     * * *
Letting Haru and Makoto come over after their date was, in hindsight, either
the best or the worst idea Rin ever had.
Makoto had entered with all the decorum of a proper visitor, but Haru, after a
curt hello, had immediately zoomed his eyes over to Rin's bed, and bam! Rin's
mind was right back to what happened the last time Haru visited that bed.
Luckily for both of them, Makoto had been able to read Haru's mind since
forever. Makoto was also a very responsible person. So before Haru could take
more than two steps toward Rin, Makoto intervened by clearing his throat.
"Rin has to study first, remember?"
The look Haru gave Makoto, which he then transferred to Rin, could only be
described as predatory. But Haru nodded docilely enough. "After," he promised.
"Rin, can I borrow your Nintendo?"
Rin, who totally wasn't disappointed because he was an adult (except not
legally) unlike Haru the sexually frustrated former virgin, did not respond
immediately, distracted (but only a little bit) by the first empirical evidence
Nanase Haruka did, in fact, understand the nuances of human interactions enough
to dress nicely for his dates. He'd obviously made an effort for Makoto, go
figure. Or possibly Haru was actually listening last week when Rin was rather
unsubtly bitching about boyfriends who showed up on dates without bothering to
dress up.
Makoto cleared his throat. "Rin?"
Damn. Rin turned on his heel before either of them could see his neck heating
up. "Yeah, hold on."
Haru retreated to the lounge with the console in short order, but not without
shooting a look at Rin first that made it clear he hadn't missed Rin's
appreciative appraisal. Once Haru was out of the room, Makoto gave him an
apologetic smile, and Rin dragged over Nitori's chair so they could sit
together at his desk.
"Sorry. When I suggested that we come over, I didn't mean..." Makoto laughed
self-consciously. "Well, I didn't have any ulterior motives. Truly."
Rin gave him a withering look. "I think Haru begs to differ." Three people,
three different agendas. At least some parts of their agendas overlapped. It
struck Rin that what they were doing was a little bit like trying to get three
separate ocean waves to overlap exactly the right way so that they formed a
tall breaker rather than canceling each other out. Rin cringed. Clearly he'd
been hanging out with Haru too much if he was using water-related metaphors to
describe their relationship. Also, he should make a note to review the wave
properties for the physics test on Thursday. He penciled that part on his
calendar and turned back to his classical literature textbook, brows knitted.
"I think I'll be able to finish in an hour or so."
"We can wait until we meet next week?" Makoto suggested, but didn't sound very
invested in the idea. "We don't have to stay at the park the whole day."
"I thought you wanted to try the new rides?" Not that Rin was opposed to
cutting short the amusement park portion of the day in favor of the carnal acts
portion. But it was the principle of the thing.
Makoto blinked. "I might as well? When I go with my family we're always stuck
with things like the ferris wheel and turtle and carousel because of Ran and
Ren. But Haru mentioned you wanted to go, and I thought—"
"Haru," Rin pronounced flatly, "is an evil manipulative changeling."
Makoto looked puzzled for a moment before understanding dawned on his face.
"Oh. He told you I wanted to go." Then he softened, because this was Makoto
talking about Haru. "I think he really did think you'd enjoy it, though. He
spent quite a while thinking about where to go for this date."
Rin did enjoy amusement parks. He might even have mentioned it to Haru when
they were little. Much as Haru liked anything water-related, Rin knew he
preferred by far an actual pool to a water-themed park ride. Rin couldn't quite
help the surge of affection that pulled at the corners of his lips. "Oh, fine,"
Rin conceded, and didn't say anything when Makoto beamed at him.
"My cousin in Tokyo warned me about having dates at an amusement park, but—"
"Wait, the part about three-fourth of the couples breaking up?" Rin
interrupted.
"Yeah. I told her I was getting ideas for a friend and didn't mention details
but she kind of got excited and started telling me all these things about – um.
Never mind."
If Makoto's cousin was anything like Gou, Rin was probably better off not
asking. Rin made a noncommittal sound. "Girls read the strangest things."
"Yeah. Not that I believed her or anything. I mean."
"Of course not," Rin concurred immediately. They should know better than to
believe what girls said. Girls read horoscopes and magazines with deeply
questionable content. He couldn't believe guys got into trouble for reading
dirty mags when girls didn't for reading those.
There was a short stretch of silence. "Should we mention it to Haru?" Makoto
suggested tentatively.
"We'd end up skipping the amusement park entirely," Rin warned him. "You know,
he's really not acting like someone who's getting some regularly."
"It's all a bit new to both of us," Makoto admitted. "Plus, it's been three
weeks since the last time we were together."
That sounded like... "Wait, did you and Haru not—?"
“No.” Makoto’s voice was disarmingly gentle. “Haru talked to me about that
after his date with you. Maybe later, when we all feel it’s okay, we can try
different things. But for now, both of us decided we can wait until all three
of us are together.”
Rin would have been way more touched if he wasn't at a risk of life and limb
thanks to their reckless fits of chastity. "You just want me to do all the
work," he grumbled, just to see Makoto smile. It wasn't like he was actually
adverse to the idea. Rin was mature, not dead. He was a healthy teenage male
and had needs.
Not to mention today was supposed to be Haru and Makoto's date but they still
came over. And it had been three weeks since the last time. They all deserved a
reward for their efforts, Rin decided magnanimously.
"Okay, let's finish this sucker."
Makoto smiled. "Sure. So, chapter four, you said?"
Chapter End Notes
     Credit for the “reckless fits of chastity” goes to Maya, and her drop
     dead gorgeous Harry Potter fanfiction, Drop Dead Gorgeous. If you’ve
     never read that before and want to, let me know and I’ll figure out a
     way to pass it to you come hell or high water. [ETA] Please go HERE
     to read DDG & other fics! Thanks, amusingmurff!
     Credit for this chapter making it at all goes to Ad_Astra because she
     just updated Denial_is_Not_Just_a_River_in_Egypt and basically
     infused enough awesome in my life to restore my motivation. :D
     [ETA] This is what happens when I update while half-asleep. D: I
     forgot to mention this: next chapter is the last chapter. It will be
     mainly smut with flimsy excuse for relationship development via
     pillowtalk wrap-up of loose ends. If Ch 5 was the reason I wrote the
     whole thing, Ch 8 is the reason I continued after Ch 5. lol Basically
     I'm a terrible person but I've come to terms with it. :D Thank you so
     much, everyone, for all your support! ♥
***** Chapter 8 *****
Chapter Notes
     To everyone who's been following this story! Thank you so, so very
     much for all your kind comments, kudos, bookmarks and subscriptions.
     All of you have been so amazingly supportive, I'm ecstatic and
     grateful and frankly a little overwhelmed. Srsly, all I wrote was
     silly threesome smut? XD It's bittersweet and a bit sad to post the
     last chapter. Sorry, it's basically just smut. Actually, sorry,
     totally not sorry. :D
     I'd had a few other Free! fic ideas percolating in the back brain.
     But July was hell on earth and due to some RL situation, and I will
     need some time to sort out RL things. Which means sadly, I won't have
     time or energy to work on anything fic-related for a while. Sorry.
     Yes, I AM totally sorry. =(
     My_Tumblr is open to anonymous/non-anonymous Asks, so feel free to
     drop me a line there. =) I don't bite. Really.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Three-person relationship, Rin decided, was just hell in terms of logistics.
Makoto solved the problem of tiny bed by spreading sleeping bag, comforter and
spare sheets on the floor. But it was surprisingly awkward to just go for it.
It wasn't easy trying to figure who was going to kiss whom and what the third
partner would be doing in the meantime. Constantly feeling like he was in
someone's way, never sure he wasn't leaving out the other one. And sometimes
Haru unwittingly made it worse, his perpetual cool a jarring contrast to Rin's
own self-consciousness.
But Haru's total lack of reservation came in handy at times like this. Haru
started chucking his clothing the moment the bedding came out, and alternated
between Makoto and Rin with a natural ease Rin envied. After Haru did his best
to crawl inside Rin tongue-first, however, he fixed his eyes somewhere between
Makoto and Rin, and pursed his lips.
"I want to try what Rin did last time."
Rin and Makoto exchanged a glance. And Rin had a moment of déjà vu when he
said, "With?"
Haru didn't answer.
When Rin raised an eyebrow at Makoto in a wordless appeal for Haru-to-standard
translation, Makoto fidgeted, not meeting his eyes. "I'm not sure if I... Rin,
maybe you could...?"
"Didn't I tell you to look it up?" Rin drawled.
"I tried!" Makoto squeaked, turning beet red. "It's just. Um. I was home and
the twins kept coming into my room and I. Um."
Rin imagined trying to look up the same information in Gou's presence and
shuddered in sympathetic horror. Besides, Makoto had seen it done before, more
or less. "Fine. We can figure it out as we go."
Haru still hadn't answered, though. "Maybe Rin should take the lead this time?"
Makoto suggested.
Haru just looked at Makoto, and maybe the telepathy thing was catching, because
Rin could practically hear the question: was Makoto suggesting that because he
was afraid of hurting Haru, or because he thought Haru would prefer it? Makoto
had liked Haru forever and Haru had never been with anyone that way before. And
Makoto had always struck Rin as the type who would attach significance to first
times.
Makoto met Haru's eyes steadily, and after a moment Haru shrugged. Makoto then
turned to give Rin a smile and an encouraging nod. Maybe, Rin thought, Haru's
silence was his way of leaving the choice to Makoto. Because Haru knew Makoto
would abide by his choice and didn't want that, not for this. And maybe Makoto
understood Haru, and was now giving them his choice, not his acquiescence. Like
the time Makoto chose to bind all three of them together. An invitation, if
they wanted.
What do you want, Rin? Makoto had asked. A precarious balancing act, trying to
figure out what all three of them wanted, to see if they could forge this
fragile layer of new bond over their still-healing friendship.
"If both of you want," Rin said, decision made. His words were quiet but felt
final, like a vow more than agreement. "Then I want, too."
"Alright, then!" Makoto's reply was a tiny bit too cheerful. Haru met his eyes,
and Rin had the distinct feeling Haru knew what Rin meant by his words, and
wasn't going to pretend he didn't hear, even if Haru didn't offer a comment.
"So, where should we start?"
"After. Makoto first," Haru corrected him, and stepped closer to kiss him,
effectively silencing him. But Haru's hand, when it reached down to graze the
front of Makoto's pants, was oddly hesitant. Rin watched them, gears in his
head turning. Last time, Haru had been bolder, both in the pool and at his
house. In the shower, too. Why the sudden uncertainty now?
Of course, last time Rin had been the focus. This time, they had to find a
similar balance with Haru in the middle. With Makoto on the side. And Haru had
always been protective of Makoto even when they were children.
But there was careful and there was Rin's brand of careful, and Rin's
unfortunately came with a side of irreverence. Rin gave Haru a suitably filthy
grin and asked, casual as he pleased, "Need tips on how to blow him?"
Haru gave him a pointed look, but there was a hint of gratitude mixed into it.
Makoto went scarlet and stammered it wasn't necessary, which was an added
bonus. What the hell, they might as well go for it. Rin chucked his shirt and
undid his pants, raising an eyebrow at Makoto. "Oy, Makoto, take your clothes
off. You're making us feel underdressed."
This time, the tiny grin Haru flashed him wasn't all that subtle. Makoto let
them help him out of his shirt, but looked decidedly nervous when Haru went for
his buckle. So Rin distracted him with a kiss and heard the tell-tale clink on
the floor that told him Haru possessed no less dexterity at stripping other
people. Still, this was going to get a bit awkward as is, so Rin guided Makoto
to sit on the bed.
"Well?" Rin challenged, nudging Makoto to open his knees, to which Makoto
complied with a fierce blush. Haru returned the look, but when he shifted his
gaze to Makoto the mood behind it had changed. Whatever lingering hesitation
Haru might still harbor, he was graceful as ever when he came to kneel between
Makoto's legs. Rin settled behind Makoto, nibbling at the juncture between
Makoto's neck and shoulder, but kept his eyes on Haru. The raised eyebrow Rin
gave Haru was not quite comforting, because that was Makoto's job, anyway. But
when Rin reached around Makoto to touch Haru's cheek, part his lips with a
thumb, his touch was lingering and gentle. "You've seen Makoto do it before,"
Rin commented and even managed to sound bored.
Haru glared up at him. Then lowered his head.
Makoto let out a sound of distress and threw back his head.
Rin smirked from where he was kissing Makoto's shoulder. "Haru, don't try to
take him too deep or you'll choke," Rin said helpfully.
Makoto choked. "Rin—"
Haru made a faint noise that conveyed he was unimpressed by the peanut gallery,
and Makoto let out a groan. Feeling particularly helpful, Rin fondled Makoto's
nipples and nipped at his neck. Besides, Makoto was holding back, he could
tell. Makoto didn't thrust or grab Haru even as his hips made small jerky
movements. Rin reached down to squeeze the firmly muscled thighs, and this time
Makoto's moan was louder, back arching. Which incidentally pushed Makoto's hips
forward. But Haru being Haru, he just held himself there, fuck, taking it, and
Rin swore, words muffled on Makoto's shoulder. Haru pulled back, sitting on his
heels, a crease between his brows as he cleared his throat. His mouth was red
and obscenely wet.
Rin wasn't sure who let out the groan, Makoto or himself. Whatever Haru saw on
their faces, though, it seemed to goad him on, because Haru smirked before
returning his mouth to Makoto's dick. He moved more purposefully, lips
stretched around the thick shaft and cheeks hollowed. Makoto leaned his head on
Rin's shoulder and whimpered. Haru was moving faster now, turning his head as
he sucked harder, and Rin shook his head in wry affection: someone had been
looking up blowjob tips online.
Makoto reached out blindly, but still – still! – didn't grab Haru by the hair.
Oh no. Makoto reached instead for Haru's shoulder, and groped behind with his
free hand until Rin caught on and took his hand, anchoring him. With his other
hand Rin stroked down Makoto's perfectly toned stomach, feeling the muscles
tremble, until his fingers met Haru's wrapped around the base of Makoto's cock.
After some poking, Haru took the hint and moved his fingers down to caress
Makoto's balls very gently, and Rin made a mental note to teach Haru about
using his fingers more. Something told him Makoto would be willing to sit
through a few practice sessions.
Rin's hand moved up to push hair back from Haru's eyes, and their eyes met.
Keeping his eyes locked on Rin's, Haru took Makoto deeper and held himself, and
swallowed around the cock a few times. Makoto made a helpless frantic sound,
and came.
Haru sat back and coughed, rubbing at his throat, and Rin shook his head in
equal parts exasperation and affection. Makoto leaned back while he recovered,
resting his weight on Rin, one hand still holding Rin's. His other hand, lax,
was resting lightly on the side of Haru's neck. With surprising affection Haru
nuzzled Makoto's hand, like a kitten head-butting to be petted. Even looking
wrung out and dazed, Makoto caressed Haru's hair, like it was instinct. Haru
closed his eyes and let him.
"Rin," Makoto croaked, and obligingly, Rin kissed him. Haru chose that moment
to unfold his legs, and kissed Makoto as soon as Rin finished. Makoto's soft
moan changed pitch abruptly, and Rin found out why a moment later when Haru
kissed him next, open-mouthed. Haru's mouth tasted different. Like he'd been
rolling a mouthful of come in it. Fuck.
You kinky little bastard, Rin thought with a surge of affection, curling his
own tongue around Haru's. Haru made a sound in the back of his throat, and Rin
smirked into the kiss, his fingers curling in Haru's soft hair. Makoto still
looked pretty wrecked, which was a good look on him in Rin's opinion, but
pulled Haru closer for another kiss, this one more tender and affectionate.
Like Makoto was saying thank you with his whole body.
Maybe Rin could include practical demonstration when he got around to giving
Haru tips on blowjob techniques. Okay, he usually received blowjobs more often
than he gave them, but still. Experience was experience, right?
"So. Move to the floor?" Rin suggested, because someone had to, and Makoto
didn't look like he wanted to move period. Haru nodded, however, and tugged
until Makoto finally moved from the bed and joined them on the nest on the
floor. Rin tossed the pillows on top of the pile, and that seemed to be it for
preparation.
And there was that awkwardness again. Rin went to grab the condoms and the lube
because it was either that or watch awkwardly while Haru searched a comfortable
spot to lie down. Haru was about to pull off his jammers when Makoto
intervened, drawing them down and peeling them off Haru's legs. Haru rose to
his knees and kissed him, lingering and sweet, and the awkwardness had a more
defined shape: Rin distinctly felt like an intruder, his bond too tentative
with both of them, incomparable to the solidity the two shared with each other.
"Rin," Makoto called gently. Haru looked over his shoulder at him, blue eyes
dark with arousal, then pointedly arched his back, both an offer and a demand.
Rin followed, kneeling behind Haru, and Makoto immediately pulled him closer
for a kiss. Haru needed little coaxing to crane his head back for a kiss, but
stirred impatiently under Rin's hand.
"Do it," Haru instructed, and the push of his ass into Rin's groin was as
unsubtle as it could get.
Hot as it was, Rin kept his touch slow, running a hand over Haru's back before
caressing his ass. For one, Haru's words often had the exact opposite effect on
Rin, and two, Rin refused to take this at anyone's pace but his own, thank you.
Haru calmed down noticeably, however, when Makoto put an arm around him. Makoto
murmured soothingly into Haru's ear and then – here Rin had to pause to watch –
licked at Haru's earlobe, which made Haru squirm in a far more appealing way.
Rin kissed the back of Haru's neck and uncapped the tube of lubricant.
Haru arched his back but otherwise didn't move when Rin traced a finger from
his tailbone to the entrance. Makoto gave him an encouraging smile, and Rin
squeezed a generous amount of lube on his fingers before returning his fingers
to feel the faintly gathered skin there. Haru sucked in a quick breath and
didn't move, but Haru – well, Haru had been a devilish tease before. Not that
Rin was feeling vindictive or anything.
Rin let his fingers circle but did not push, letting his fingertip press just
enough to dip into the opening but not enter. Haru made an impatient noise and
pushed back, but Rin merely grinned. "Slow down," he advised Haru, still
pushing no further. Okay, maybe he believed in karma, just a little bit.
Besides which, Haru was rolling his hips and pushing back imperiously, shooting
him a hooded-eyed glare, and that? Was totally sexy.
"Rin," Makoto called, his tone that of tested patience, but there was wry
amusement in his eyes also. "I do want another turn, you know," Makoto reminded
him the next moment, and Rin figured getting back at Haru could be left to
another occasion.
Still, Rin took the time to smear more lube on his fingers before returning his
attention to Haru's ass. See? He could be conscientious, too. When he finally
pushed, however, Rin found Haru's body opening to his touch a little too
easily.
"Haru, you..."
Haru looked back at him, and there was a ghost of a smirk twisting over his
mouth. "More," he demanded, pushing back insistently to illustrate his point.
"What the hell. Did you practice?" Rin blurted out, torn between feeling
incredulous and turned on.
Makoto just looked amused. "No wonder you've been taking longer baths," Makoto
commented, not sounding the slightest bit perturbed.
"In the bath?" Rin repeated.
Haru shrugged, and Makoto blinked at him, unconcerned. "As long as Haru was
alone, I don't see the problem."
Rin gave him a dark stare. "Are you kidding me? That means he was cheating on
us with water."
"Well," Makoto answered, amusement plain in his eyes. "Haru did say we'd have
to share."
Rin held back a withering comment, because he did know to pick his battles,
especially when he was about to get laid. If Haru spent extra hours in the bath
discovering himself, he probably found out about the prostate already, but that
wasn't the only appeal in anal sex. There was the unbelievable intimacy of
having another person inside one's body. The pulse of another heartbeat with
his own, the stretch and the fullness, and the heat of movement. All best
enjoyed with enough preparation. So Rin took his time opening Haru's body, even
when Haru let out a faintest whimper and clung to Makoto, shoulders hunched and
back tense, pushing back with increasing urgency.
"Rin," Haru murmured, and even through the words muffled against Makoto's neck,
there was a note of entreaty that made Rin stiffen, feeling lust hammer at his
control. Rin had never heard Haru sound like that before. As close to surrender
as Haru ever came, the surrender Haru never gave even when Rin had beaten him
in their race.
"I want to see your face," Rin said in a rush. Haru looked back at him, then at
Makoto, and the two of them exchanged another look and possibly an entire
telepathic conversation. Then, Haru disengaged from Makoto, lying down on the
nest of bedding. Only, he immediately turned to his side.
Makoto sat down as well, and briefly looked like he wanted to draw Haru's head
into his lap or something equally sweet, but shook his head and leaned over
Haru's body to kiss Rin. "Take your time. I can wait for my turn," Makoto told
both of them. Then his gentle smile turned halfway between sweet and
lascivious, a feat only Tachibana Makoto could ever achieve, and he added,
"Besides, I like watching you two."
Rin had to grit his teeth and suck in a sharp breath before he could answer.
"You're going to have to take me next, because I'm not doing all the work
today."
"Deal," Makoto answered, undercurrent of laughter in his voice.
When Rin turned his attention back to Haru, Haru's visible eye flickered to
Rin, but a second later returned to staring at his own hands. Something about
the whole thing made Rin feel awkward, though, and he didn't think it was just
the novelty of the angle. Before, when Haru was on top, Haru's eyes were on him
the whole time, devouring him. It was strange to have Haru avoid his eyes like
this.
But something about Haru's expression was oddly familiar. And it took Rin a
moment to place it: from the picture he'd placed on his desk, next to the one
from four years ago. Haru had worn an identical expression in both of them, one
taken after the regional meet this year, the other after they won the medley
relay back in elementary school. Rin stared, thoughts momentarily derailed,
because what the hell? Haru, the same Haru who'd been taking everything in
strides, was—
And Makoto was giving him a look. Oh wow, Haru was. Rin looked back at Makoto,
wondering if they should stop, but Makoto gave him a tiny, rueful quirk of his
mouth, and shook his head. Okay, so slow down maybe, but not stop. Rin
stretched over Haru's body and pressed a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Haru
turned and returned the next one, and Rin didn't break the kiss while he ran a
hand down Haru's back slowly.
"Raise your knee?" Rin requested, leaning on one hand to keep his weight off
Haru while his other hand kneaded Haru's pert bottom. Seriously, Haru's ass had
definitely haunted his dreams more than a few times. Haru complied, and Rin
kissed him again while settling against him, and pressed inside gently.
Haru tensed for a moment, but Rin was patient, waiting until he felt the
muscles give. Haru's hands were still loosely curled near his face, although
they twitched when Rin pushed deeper into his body. When Makoto reached for his
hand Haru let him, but didn't look at either of them.
The thing was, though, Rin thought he understood. In his experience, being on
the bottom was different, and not just in the physical sense. When he was on
top, his focus was on his partner and the act of sex itself. But when he was on
the bottom and had the luxury of leaving his pleasure in someone else's hands,
he couldn't help but be conscious of his partner's focus on him, of his own
body and its sensations. Reacting rather than acting. Letting his partner see
him, to be open to his partner's scrutiny. It wasn't just his body he had to
open to his partner. Ever since childhood, letting in other people was one
thing Haru was bad at. Other than Makoto and maybe Nagisa – and Rin – how many
people did Haru let in close enough to really see him? As blasé as Haru had
been about sex before, perhaps he wasn't as ready to deal with the emotional
parts connected to the act.
"Haru," Rin breathed, surging into him, gentle and inexorable. "Haru, look at
me."
Faint color rose high on his cheek, but Haru turned to look at him, and Rin
couldn't help an affectionate smile. This was the same Haru, after all, who
called him a pain but still let Rin restrict his precious freedom. Because Haru
might grumble and act like what he did had nothing to do with Rin, but in the
end Haru had never once refused Rin. He stopped moving long enough to kiss Haru
properly, and this time, Haru didn't look away even after he settled back on
the sheets. Rin slid his fingers through the soft hair at Haru's temple,
keeping his thrusts slow and deep. Rin had always known in his own way Makoto
was as protective of Haru as Haru was of him, even if he hadn't understood. But
he could see, finally, why Makoto was so protective of someone who never seemed
to need it.
I've always wanted you. It was a slow, dawning realization tinged with awe.
Rin's eyes slid upward, at Makoto, who was smiling at him like the sunlight,
who leaned closer to kiss him, with understanding like breath of air between
them. A jolt of knowledge went through Rin's mind, that whatever else lay
between them, Makoto had always tried to treat Rin as Rin, not as an extension
of his relationship with Haru. That Haru was never the only part they shared.
It was a certainty, as much as anything so intangible as feelings could have
certainty. Rin kissed Makoto again, with as much promise as he could muster.
Haru stirred under him, becoming restless now that he was apparently over his
initial embarrassment. Rin rubbed his back, soothing more than sensuous, only
to have Haru fix him with a half-exasperated, half-fond look.
And tighten around his cock sharply.
"Fuck," Rin swore breathlessly, hunched over Haru's body, and Haru – and Rin
was convinced Haru was definitely an aquatic equivalent of an incubus – kept
their eyes locked and did that again. Rin thrust into him hard, because he
wasn't an idiot and could take a hint, but stilled when he felt a hand creep
into his own. Haru laced their fingers together, lips curved in a slightly
lopsided smile. Rin looked at their joined hands, and at Haru's other hand
linked with Makoto, at Makoto's knowing smile, and back at Haru again.
Rin's fingers tightened around Haru's out of their own volition. Rin kept his
eyes on Haru, pulled back a little, and pushed back in, unhurried. "Rin," Haru
called, voice taking on the edge of a complaint when Rin refused to take him
any faster, keeping their pace slow. Makoto, when Rin caught his eyes, was
grinning mischievously, and Rin's eyes were pulled to his groin, where Makoto
was stroking himself slowly, matching Rin's pace.
Rin made an incoherent noise, and drove into Haru faster, into the heat and
tightness that milked him mercilessly. He was pinning Haru by their joined
hand, but Haru didn't seem inclined to let go. So Rin sat up a little more,
flexed, and felt Haru's muscles contract around him. Haru was shaking, sounds
pulled from his throat one after another, spine curving to take Rin deeper, and
fuck, that was hot. Rin swore, hips snapping harder and faster. He could see
Makoto's hand speeding up, following. Makoto's groan entwined with Haru's
whimper, and Rin couldn't stop, could never stop. Haru cried out, almost like
in surprise, and – fuck – tightened even more, and Rin came, buried as deep as
he could go, shuddering with each rhythmic squeeze of Haru's body around his
cock.
When Haru's body finally relaxed, Rin was still panting, trying to catch his
breath. With a kiss on their joined hands, Rin let go, easing out of Haru
carefully. Haru made a soft sound but didn't move, his breathing still quick
and light. When Haru finally turned to lie on his back, his lips were kiss-
swollen and red, eyes still dark and languid. The overall effect was gloriously
debauched, complete with the sticky mess on his stomach, and Rin's cock did its
best to twitch in fresh interest. Above Haru, though, Makoto's eyes were still
alight with lust, watching them.
"Go ahead. I'll catch up," Rin told him, moving down to elbows and knees to
kiss Haru.
"Are you sure?" Makoto sounded a bit dubious even as he reached for a condom
and lube.
"Makoto," Haru called, and the smug look was back on his face. "My turn to
watch."
Makoto laughed, despite the quick catch in his breath. He kissed them both,
then moved to kneel behind Rin. Rin looked over his shoulder at him and
smirked. "I hope you were paying attention this time around."
The sound of a tube uncapping had no right to be that sexy. "Oh, I was."
Makoto's fingers were slow but sure as they spread the lube over the sensitive
skin around Rin's entrance. The first dip of Makoto's fingertip made him suck
in a quick breath, and Rin lowered his head until Haru's glimmering eyes slid
out of focus. "You can go faster than that," Rin urged, and Makoto's hand
stilled for a brief moment before two fingers pushed inside. Haru caught Rin's
face in both hands and pulled him into a kiss, swallowing his gasp.
Unfortunately for Rin, Makoto must have paid attention not only to the
preparation part but also the teasing part, because he spent inordinate amount
of time driving Rin crazy with every curl of his fingers before pulling out.
All the while Rin couldn't even protest with Haru's tongue in his mouth,
drinking every sound from his throat.
"Ready?"
Rin was already half-hard, and turned his face to level a withering look at
Makoto. "You don't have to keep asking, you know."
In reply, Makoto grasped him by the waist and pressed closer, draping himself
over Rin. "Got it," he husked, and nipped on the shell of Rin's ear.
Rin let out a startled sound which lengthened to a moan because Makoto chose
that moment to push inside. Preparation or no preparation, Makoto's sheer size
made the entry a tight burn, and Rin closed his eyes, breathless. Haru's hand
(it had to be Haru's, Makoto's hands were running over his sides) was on his
cock, stroking him back to fullness. Except Rin didn't really need the help
anymore. "You like this," Haru murmured in his ear, fingers squeezing lightly,
wringing another moan from him. "Next time, I want inside you," Haru continued,
his fingers forming tight sheath of heat around Rin's cock, and Rin gritted his
teeth, hips twitching. Only, Haru wasn't done yet. "And Makoto inside me," Haru
finished, and a helpless groan spilled from Rin's throat. He'd created a
monster.
"At the same time?" Makoto asked, sounding breathless and wrecked, but somehow
still coherent. Rin swore under his breath and revised the tally to two.
Rin didn't have to look at Haru's face to know he was smirking. "Sure, why
not."
Makoto's hips snapped into his the next moment, and Rin nearly bit down on his
tongue, all thoughts of a response instantly banished from his mind. Then
Haru's lips were on his throat and Haru's hand was on his cock and Makoto's
hands were on his back, rolling his hips in a tight circle and making him see
stars. What had he done, he'd created not one but two monsters who were far too
good at figuring out what he liked, and that was all the time Rin had for
thoughts. Makoto was fucking him harder now, pitching him forward with each
hard snap of his hips. Haru's hands skimmed down his sides, fingers pressing
into the vulnerable flesh. It made Rin arch his back and moan loudly, because
all higher functions of Rin's brain had checked out and unavailable to comment
on the wanton way his knees spread wider.
Makoto obligingly sped up his thrusts, just in time for Haru's fingers tighten
and run from base of Rin's cock to the head and back down, just hard enough to
make Rin's toes curl. Then Haru rotated his wrist, his grip slick and hot, and
Rin gasped, tensed, and spilled over Haru's hand. Makoto's rhythm faltered, and
Rin bowed his head, pushing back. "Keep—keep going, Makoto," he managed, and
Makoto made a divinely inhuman sound, thrusting hard and fast through the
spasms of Rin's muscles until he came.
When Makoto stopped trembling and pulled out of him, Rin was honestly tired
enough to pass out. Only, he could feel Haru was hard again, pressing into his
lower belly. It was only with great effort Rin sat up, wincing a little. "Need
a hand?" he asked to Haru, who was stroking himself leisurely, like he was
trying to decide what he wanted to do next.
Haru shrugged and spread his legs, which Rin took as permission. Rin slicked
his hand before he reached for Haru's cock, keeping his stroke purposeful, and
flashed him a grin. There were a few things he hadn't gotten around to showing
them yet.
 Haru squirmed in the most delightful way when Rin slipped two fingers back
into his ass. Probably still sensitive from earlier. Few strategic strokes from
inside as well as out, and Haru was undone, coming with a strangled sound of
pleasure.
Makoto, who was lying on his stomach next to Haru, chuckled, leaning over to
kiss Haru. Rin stretched out on Haru's other side, who turned to him for a kiss
before closing his eyes.
"I think we wore him out," Makoto said quietly. Haru let out a noncommittal
sound, but didn't bother opening his eyes.
"A nap is definitely in order," Rin agreed. "You wanna stay over or head back
after?"
"I'm afraid of the morning if we stayed over," Makoto chuckled quietly. "Haru
likes to have his bath in the morning."
"Depends on what else he's going to be doing there. You do remember I live in a
dorm?"
"Next time, we stay over," Haru said flatly, eyes still closed.
"We can stop by Haru's place next Saturday. After the amusement park." Makoto
turned to his side, propped up on one elbow, watching them fondly. "Staying
over that night shouldn't be an issue. Rin?"
"Yeah, fine. Next week, then." Rin made a mental note to call his mother about
that. He hadn't been spending much time at home lately, especially with all the
weekend dates with Makoto and Haru. "Just make sure you have something other
than mackerel at your house." Haru didn't so much as make a sound, and Rin
frowned at him, peering at his face. "Haru?"
Makoto watched Haru for a moment, then gave Rin a rueful smile. "I think he
fell asleep."
"Typical," Rin groused. Actually it made sense Haru wouldn't be much for pillow
talk. If this could be called that.
"So – you're not worried about all this not working out anymore?" Makoto's
question brought him up short, and Rin's brows knitted. "It's just that...well,
I like it, so far. I know it's only been three weeks and you're right to worry,
any number of things could go wrong, but..."
"Are you okay with it, Makoto?" Rin had more or less come to terms with the
fact he wanted Haru, too, even if not exactly in the same way he wanted Makoto.
But Makoto had always struck him as a one-man (or woman) kind of person. And if
it was Rin or Haru, Rin knew it would always be Haru for Makoto. Somehow,
thinking Makoto might be with him only for Haru's sake was far worse than not
being with him at all.
Makoto hummed, looking thoughtful. "I can't deny in a lot of ways, you were the
one who changed Haru's life," Makoto started, sounding reflective. "But Haru
wasn't the only one. I've always cared for you. Maybe it's not the same thing.
Maybe it won't ever be enough, but..." Makoto's expression made Rin swallow.
The expression was a mixture of gentleness, affection, and heat, and so utterly
Makoto, there was no other way to define it. "I'm not that selfless, Rin. I
don't want to give up Haru or you. Haru because it's always been Haru since
forever, and you..." A smile pulled up the corners of his mouth. "I was
honestly worried when we met this year. Four years ago, you were the one who
brought us together. You used to sparkle so brightly with something I was
afraid might be gone forever. If Rei hadn't realized that you—" Makoto
swallowed, and reached over Haru's sleeping form to cup the side of Rin's face.
"That's when I realized how much I'd missed you."
Makoto's thumb brushed over a cheekbone, and Rin was torn between the impulse
to turn away, to hide from those green eyes that seemed to stare into his
heart, and the impulse to stay there forever, reflected in the green depths.
"Even if it's not exactly fair to you," Makoto breathed, "I want you, Rin."
It was a long moment before Rin found his voice. "You're right. You're not
fair." His throat ached, but he forced the words past the tightness. "How do
you expect me to refuse when you say something like that?"
Makoto's caress on his face was as gentle as a baby's breath, and so tender Rin
couldn't help but melt. "Sorry," Makoto soothed. "But I'm glad. Very glad."
"And Haru?"
Makoto let out a quiet chuckle. "You'd have a harder time turning down Haru.
He's as stubborn as you."
"No kidding." His chest still felt tight, but the alarming warmth was washing
away the last of his reservation. Rin covered Makoto's hand with his own, and
closed his eyes with a sigh. Makoto was right, any number of things could still
go wrong. Maybe the whole thing would still come crashing down on their heads.
Happiness and heartbreak, Rin knew with cutting clarity, nearly always walked
hand in hand. But in the meantime, damned if any of them stopped trying to make
it work anyway.
"Makoto?"
"Hmm?"
Rin cracked his eyes open to give him a superior look. "When this whole thing
crashes and burns, just remember: I was the voice of reason in this madness."
Makoto laughed, soft but clear, happiness and warmth sparkling in his eyes, and
pulled Rin's hand to rest over Haru's heartbeat, where Haru's hand immediately
joined theirs. Haru didn't bother opening his eyes or even pretending to be
asleep, and for once Rin didn't bother raising an eyebrow at it.
"That," Makoto answered, challenge and love inextricably entwined in his voice,
"remains to be seen."
                                    THE END
Chapter End Notes
     [ETA 8/3/2014] Of course I passed out before adding this part. =__=
     CREDITS!
     First of all, Ad_Astra of course has the seat of honor~! Without her
     Your_Body_is_a_Map_of_Sin I wouldn't have fallen madly in love with
     This_Gentle_Heart_Will_Mess_You_Up OR Denial_is_Not_Just_a_River_in
     Egypt, and this fic wouldn't exist. The end.
     And caffeinekitty has the somewhat dubious honor of having convinced
     me this threesome stuff may actually work. XD Superposition owes a
     lot to caffeinekitty's Language_Arts. (Also, Relaxation_Techniques
     and Action! were equal parts HAAAWWT and AWESOME. ♥)
     Without Ad_Astra I wouldn't have thought about Makoto/Rin at all.
     Then, it turns out Makoto/Rin has some really awesome fics to back it
     up. Loose_Ends by four_sweatervests and A_Sudden_Change_of_Heart by
     anditwasstinky and...seriously, I didn't stand a chance.
     Okay, I'm gonna have to stop here before I start listing half the
     fics on AO3. XD I'm not going to get started on fanart and you know
     who you are, you of evil pictorial wiles because then I'm never going
     to finish this note.
     Also also, will somebody please tell unsospiro and attemptsonwords to
     stop ganging up_on_me? Really not very sporting, guys. Stop trying to
     brainwash people with your awesome writing skillz plz kthnxbye.
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