Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/96123. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Underage Category: Gen Fandom: Saiyuki Character: Sha_Gojyo, Sha_Jien Additional Tags: Angst, Incest, Unhappy_Ending, Siblings, Childhood, Canonical_Character Death Series: Part 8 of 7_Deadly_Sins Stats: Published: 2010-06-22 Words: 650 ****** Suburbia ****** by theskywasblue Summary Jien makes a mess that he can't clean up. It doesn’t really look red, Jien thinks, not as red as it should, creeping across the worn floorboards, heavy and thick like corn-syrup.  It’s not really the same colour as Gojyo’s hair at all. The first thing he’s aware of is breathing, his own, ragged and heavy, sloshing in his lungs.  Then it halts completely, and it takes conscious effort to start again, in and out, breathing manually.  He almost has to press his hand against his chest. The body is warm.  Jien thinks he can feel the heat starting to seep out of it, a little at a time.  The blood has started to pool around his shoes and Gojyo is staring at him.  He opens his mouth to say something – I’m sorry, it’s okay, don’t be scared, don’t cryohgoddon’tcry – and hot salt water runs in the corners of his mouth, pooling between his teeth and his lower lip. It hits him suddenly, the smell of the blood and the fear.  Bile rises in the back of his throat and somewhere, somewhere, a little boy is screaming. The sword falls to the floor, a dull clatter like bones knocking together, he moves just a little and his feet stick to the floor.  His first step backwards jolts every bone in his body, and Gojyo flinches minutely, moving forwards, but stopping short, trapped by the blood and the body, his hand comes down on curled wisps of sandy hair and jumps back as if stung. The second step, which should be easier – it always gets easier, you close your eyes and breathe shallow and try not to hear the voice repeating over and over, try so, so hard not to think about what you’re doing as her claws dig into your back and her legs lock around your hips – feels like someone is pushing their hand through his chest, not breaking the bones but pushing in between the ribs and wrenching them apart.  He’s sobbing now, in and out, and all he can see is red. Red, red, red like blood, seeping through skin that’s spilt from the blows, spat from between baby teeth loosened by sheer force.  And god it hurts, even though he doesn’t cry as he slips his fingers under the roots and pulls them out, one at a time. It’s done now, he thinks, done and over, and it shouldn’t hurt so much; but somehow it hurts more because his hands are shaking and if Gojyo comes to him now Jien can’t be sure if those hands will wrap around his shoulders or around his throat.  He can’t be sure if they are his father’s hands, his mothers, or his own, and which possibility he’s more afraid of. The blood isn’t in Gojyo’s hair or eyes.  It’s on Gojyo’s cheeks; in little rivulets like tears and it’s on the floor and on his mother and all over his shoes tracking backwards across the floor and Jien can’t think clearly about what he’s done.  Except that he can; because it’s right there, spread out across the kitchen floor, a mess he’ll never be able to clean up. It had all seemed so perfect up to that moment, until the sword went through her heart and the body hit the floor and Jien looked down at his brother and realized that even though he was terrified to die, Gojyo wasn’t. He misses the first step, hits the second hard enough to jar his knee and send pain like a cold blade up into his hip as the screen door slams with a sound like a gunshot.  His lips move silently over and over - don’tcrydon’tcrydon’tcry –it’s too late for him, but he knows that if Gojyo does, if his little brother – Your only brother Jien, you have to protect him –isn’t strong enough to be alone, then the only other choice is for them all to go together. -End- Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!