Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/174403.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      John_Egbert/Equius_Zahhak
  Character:
      John_Egbert, Equius_Zahhak, Nepeta_Leijon, Rose_Lalonde
  Additional Tags:
      First_Time, Xeno, Healthy_Communication, Mangrit, Homestuck_Kink_Meme,
      derp_is_a_superpower, Podfic_Available
  Collections:
      Claimed_Fills, Interspecies
  Stats:
      Published: 2011-03-27 Words: 4491
****** Strength of Character ******
by Laylah
Summary
     Polite, a natural leader, and unusually strong. John is certainly a
     human worth paying further attention to.
Notes
     For a homesmut prompt:
     I would like to see this pairing dynamic so bad. As we know John is
     apparently a ~strong boy~, given what his dad's said. I would like to
     see a fic wherein Equius finds out that John is STRONG like him, and
     therefore able to stand up to his IMMENSE STRENGTH just fine!
     ETA: Podfic by Rhea available here: It's here: http://
     amplificathon.dreamwidth.org/2016642.html
For all of Equius's misgivings about working together with the humans, it is
less of a strain than he expected. The one called Dave is as obnoxious and
crass as his obscene type color initially suggested, but the females help to
keep him in check. And the one called John is...confusing. Interesting.
He has an easygoing demeanor that would make him in high demand as an
auspistice between trolls; even Vantas's most virulent ranting seems to roll
off him ineffectually. At times he seems too easily entertained by frivolous
things, but when they address serious issues he always contributes in kind. The
others treat him as a leader, Equius determines eventually. It's less obvious
than it would be among trolls, but all of the other humans place faith in his
ideas and support his decisions.
Equius does not, therefore, particularly mind being part of an exploration team
with him. They are divided into four teams of four, scouting these ruins they
now share in search of resources. Vriska believes she is leading this team,
which Equius does not contest; the argument would be not worth the time. She
selected John as the human to accompany their team, and Equius asked Nepeta to
be their fourth. There is a practical reason for it, since she is a capable
fighter, quick and agile, but truthfully he is loath to leave his moirail
behind when they don't know how dangerous the situation will be.
Nepeta, drat her, understands this immediately, and wastes no time explaining
the nature of their bond to John. Which would be bad enough, but then he seems
to want to encourage her. "That sounds pretty neat," he says, walking beside
her through the ruined corridors. Vriska leads with their lantern and Equius is
guarding their rear. "Karkat wasn't very clear about how all this troll romance
stuff works."
"No," Nepeta says mournfully. "Karkitty doesn't have a lot of patience fur
explaining."
John giggles. "Karkitty," he repeats. "I bet he gets really mad when you call
him that."
"Vantas displays unseemly rage at everything," Equius says. "But his ire toward
Nepeta is unacceptable."
"He's not that bad," Nepeta pouts.
"No, it's true," John says, looking back at Equius. Vriska is surely
entertained by all this. "He's kind of a jerk sometimes, but under all that—"
"This is not necessary," Equius says. "We do not require an auspistice."
John looks confused. "He means he doesn't hate Karkitty that much," Nepeta
says.
"Well, that's good, then," John says. Equius is forced to agree. It would be
beneath him to devote such intensity of emotion to someone so utterly without
refinement.
Before the conversation can veer once more into uncomfortably intimate
territory, Vriska interrupts from the fore. "The path is blocked up here," she
says. "There's a door leading onward, but it has a pillar fallen across it."
Equius steps forward, expecting his strength to be required, but John is ahead
of him and gets there first. "Looks tough," John says, "but it shouldn't be too
bad." He stoops down to get a grip on the fallen pillar and lifts. He grunts
with the effort, but he makes the pillar move, lifting the entire stone column
and pushing it upright, out of the way of the door.
It's impolite, but Equius stares as much as the other two. "Wow," Nepeta says.
Vriska nods.
"What?" John asks, turning back to them. He looks confused by their attention.
Equius clears his throat. "Would you say that you are exceptionally strong, for
a human?"
"Uh." John looks from them to the pillar and back again. "I guess so, yeah. My
dad always said he expected me to grow up to be pretty strong. My guardian, I
mean," he clarifies. "Kind of like a lusus."
"They would have figured that out," Vriska says. "You don't need to coddle
everyone all the time."
"Sorry," John says, though he doesn't sound cowed. "I'm just trying to be
culturally sensitive."
"Your efforts are appreciated," Equius says. Polite, a natural leader, and
unusually strong. John is certainly a human worth paying further attention to.
===============================================================================
They're actually all getting along pretty okay, now that they've had some time
to get used to each other. And now that they've done some exploring together
and set up living quarters for everyone. It's like a big team-building
exercise, right? Or like in the movies when people learn to trust each other
because they've gone through so much rough stuff as a group. At this point,
John thinks they have a pretty good chance of a happy ending.
He's taking a little time to relax with Rose, practicing his card tricks—which
is maybe not the best idea with captchalogue cards, but he hasn't lost anything
yet—when Nepeta comes bounding into the room and skids to a halt sitting on the
table in front of them. Well, the crate they're using as a table. "Hi, Nepeta,"
John says. "What's up?"
"I had an impurrtant question fur you," she says, but she's staring at Rose,
squirming a little bit and focusing hard.
Rose covers up her knitting before Nepeta can decide to pounce on the yarn. "Go
ahead," she says. "What did you want to ask?"
Nepeta fixes John with a squinty look that's probably supposed to be very
serious. "This is a matter of utmost impurrtance," she says. "What are your
intentions toward my meowrail?"
John blinks. "What?" he says. Sure, he's been trying to be friendly with the
trolls, and now that he thinks about it, Equius has been paying more attention
to him since they went exploring together, but—
"Don't purrtend innocence!" Nepeta says. "You see him all the time! You have to
know he's flushed fur you."
"Um," John says. "I'm really flattered?" Which is more or less true. Equius
doesn't seem to like very many people, so it's kind of an honor to be one of
the ones who makes the cut, he supposes. "But like I told Karkat, I'm not a
homosexual."
Nepeta gives him a blank stare.
"Oh honestly, John," Rose says. "Neither am I."
"Wait, what?" John says, looking over at her. "But you and Kanaya—"
"That's exactly what I mean," Rose says. She puts on what John thinks of as her
psychology face, all serious, her lips pinched just a little bit. "Sexuality
isn't as simple as that, even if you aren't a troll. Some people like both, or
neither, and often it changes over the course of someone's lifetime. You're
still young, and our circumstances, you must admit, are extremely unusual.
Stranger things have already happened than your potential discovery that your
sexuality is multifaceted."
John frowns. "You want me to go out with Equius?" he says.
Rose rolls her eyes. "I would like to see you display some capacity for self-
awareness and self-examination," she says. "Question your own assumptions
rather than accepting them blindly. Whether that leads you to new romantic
horizons is of relatively little concern to me."
"Oh," John says. He looks back at Nepeta, and she looks confused. No, wait—she
looks purrturbed. "Sorry! I guess I don't have an answer for you right now.
I'll have to think about it for a while."
Nepeta sighs dramatically. "Human romance sure is complicated."
===============================================================================
Equius has begun to suspect that John is paying him particular attention. He is
by turns flustered and flattered, both of which have the unfortunate effect of
making him sweat. John displays his nobility of spirit by paying it no mind,
conversing with Equius without drawing any attention to the unseemly display.
"So this thing about blood is really important to you, huh," John says, walking
back to the common room with him when yet another attempt to coax
respectability out of Gamzee has failed.
"Of course," Equius says. "The hemospectrum both influences our temperaments
and structures all of troll society. It is central to the imposition of order
on our race."
John nods thoughtfully. "Even now?" he says. "I mean, when there are only
twelve of you left?"
"Especially now," Equius says. "Descending into chaos would only ensure our
doom."
"I guess I don't entirely get it," John says. "Since it's a cultural thing and
I'm not one of you. But I'm glad you're working on keeping everyone together."
"Thank you," Equius says awkwardly. His skin prickles as he considers where all
of the humans would fall on the hemospectrum. "Of course we, ah, will have to
make some allowances, now that our races are to be living together."
"Yeah," John says. "It's kind of a big adjustment for everybody!" He smiles;
Equius doesn't think he's ever seen a troll smile the way John does, broad and
open, expressing delight at something other than the downfall of a rival.
"We'll pull through, though! We've made it this far by putting our strengths
together. I'm sure we'll be okay."
Equius's face flushes hot. He has no doubt that John didn't intend to imply
anything as lewd as that sounded, but when their strength is the thing the two
of them have in common....
"Whoa," John says, reaching out to him—to him! When even most other trolls
would avoid him in a state like this. "Are you okay? Did I say something
wrong?"
"I would...prefer not to explain," Equius hedges. "Unless you insist."
"Well, okay," John says. Then he smiles again. "Unless you want me to insist."
Sweat runs down the back of Equius's neck and soaks into his collar. "I would
not complain."
"I guess I'm insisting, then," John says.
"As you wish," Equius says. "While I am certain you did not intend any lewd
implications, I am by far the strongest of the surviving trolls, and you have
demonstrated unusual strength for a human, so suggesting the combination...."
He swallows hard. "Forgive me for reading such impropriety into your words."
"Haha, wow, yeah," John says. "It does sound pretty bad, once you point that
out." He blushes, too, his pale cheeks turning pink, and Equius would describe
his expression as coy if it seemed more knowing; instead it's...what is halfway
between coy and apologetic? Humans have such a strange array of emotions.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"It's nothing," Equius begins, but he cuts himself off when John starts talking
again also:
"I mean, I—I guess it's sort of on both of our minds lately."
For a moment Equius can't believe he heard that correctly. "I'm sorry?" he
says. "You have been...thinking of...?"
John makes the nearly apologetic face again. "I wasn't at first," he says. "But
then Nepeta said you liked me—"
"What?"
"—and Rose said, well, I think what she said was that I should be more willing
to try new things, so I've been thinking about that. Whether I would be, uh,
willing to." His face is a deep pink by now.
Later, Equius thinks, he will have to yell at Nepeta about this. Quite a lot.
And demand that she remove this possibility from her ludicrous shipping wall,
where she has no doubt installed it by now. "And?" he says. "Ah, would you?"
John fidgets, not looking directly at him. "Well, I think I'd kind of want to
take it slow, because I'm not totally sure what I want yet." He catches his lip
between his teeth for a moment, then goes on: "But I'm curious."
"Caution is understandable," Equius says. "Romantic entanglements can be
difficult." He can scarcely believe his own audacity. "Would you like to
adjourn to my respiteblock and—" No, visitors never appreciate his art; he
doesn't want to harm his chances—"or perhaps yours would be better, and we
could, ah...."
"See how it goes?" John says. "Yeah. Okay."
===============================================================================
They go to his room instead of Equius's—John figures Equius's room is probably
a mess or something. He seems like the kind of guy who would worry about that.
Hopefully he won't be too disappointed that John's room is kind of messy too.
He doesn't say anything about the mess, though. Instead he looks at the posters
John has alchemized up to keep the walls from being so bare and gloomy. "These
are advertisements for Earth movies?"
John beams. "Yeah," he says. Equius is frowning thoughtfully at Nicolas Cage's
rugged look of determination in Con Air. "That one's my favorite! I think you'd
really like it. It's about this guy who's been wrongfully imprisoned and he's
on a plane with all these really dangerous criminals and—anyway, it's awesome.
We should watch it sometime." He's chattering like a nervous goof, isn't he?
"Uh. We don't have to."
Equius is looking at him like he's just done something really nice, though. "I
would be happy to," he says, all serious.
Right. They're getting the hang of it, but trolls in general are still pretty
bad at being friends. They'll have to keep working on that! "Maybe not right
this minute, I guess. Since we're here to, uh." John fidgets.
"Indeed." Equius is blushing—it is still so weird to see all the different
colors that trolls can blush—and he's breaking out in a sweat again. John
thinks he should have made sure to stock up on some towels on the way here.
Whoops. He'll have to remember that next time!
He takes a step forward, and Equius does too, and this is the point where if
they were in a movie they'd have music starting to swell in the background,
because they're just about close enough to touch. John wishes he'd thought of
music, too, because the tips of Equius's ears are curled down in this way that
looks kind of nervous. But stopping now would make it more awkward, he's pretty
sure, so instead he reaches out and takes Equius's hand.
"I feel I should warn you," Equius says hoarsely—does that count as a
pun?—"that I have...very little experience in these matters, and that largely
with a robot."
John blinks. "Haha, wow," he says. Trolls really are different. "Well, me
neither, with robots or anything else! But, uh, let's give it a try." He's
still not entirely sure how he feels about doing this, but he's not against the
idea, and Rose is right that this is a pretty unusual situation. And no matter
how logical Karkat's shipping grid was, it still doesn't seem very likely that
things will work out that way.
Okay, here they go. John leans up a little bit—Equius is a few inches taller
than he is—and tilts his head to the left a little so they won't bump noses and
then their lips touch. Equius is holding really, really still, so John leans
into him a little more, and then the frames of their glasses collide with an
awkward click and one of the little cushiony bits for the bridge of his nose
almost pokes John in the eye.
"Ow," he says, pulling back. Equius flinches. "Um," John says. He reaches up to
take his glasses off. "Can you take yours off too?"
"I—yes," Equius says uncertainly. He takes his sunglasses off with slow, super-
careful movements, and he actually looks kind of weird at first! He pretty much
always has them on. His eyes are ordinary troll gold, even if they have dark
circles under them like he doesn't sleep enough. He looks like less of a badass
without the sunglasses, but not much less, with his teeth all jagged and the
one snapped-off horn and all those muscles.
John takes both of their glasses and puts them down on a table out of the way.
"Okay," he says. "You want to try that again?"
Equius nods. This time he tilts his head, too, and they get the angle right a
lot faster. Even though he's so tough, his lips are still soft against John's,
and John closes his eyes because that's what you're supposed to do when you
kiss, right? It feels pretty nice. Not, like, triumphant orchestral crescendo
or anything, but nice.
John opens his mouth a little, carefully, trying to get the hang of this
kissing thing. His tongue brushes the seam of Equius's lips and for a second he
wonders if he's breaking his own rules about taking it slow, but then Equius
opens his mouth a little bit, too, so it's probably okay. He tastes sort of
interesting, sweet-sour, not quite like anything else John can think of. John
leans in a little closer so they're actually pressed up against each other, and
wraps his arms around Equius's waist. He still feels like he's doing most of
the work here, but when he pushes into the kiss a little harder Equius finally
starts to kiss back.
Equius's tongue presses into John's mouth, tongue curling against his, one hand
wrapping around John's bicep, and suddenly wow. It's a lot more exciting like
that. A little shiver runs down John's spine when he feels the sharp points of
Equius's claws graze his skin, and he makes a noise in his throat without
really meaning to.
And then suddenly Equius pulls back. John opens his eyes and sees Equius
staring at him with eyes wide and...panicky looking. "I'm sorry," Equius says.
"That was careless. I—"
"What are you talking about?" John says. "That was just starting to get good!"
It probably wouldn't be nice to laugh at the face Equius makes then, so John
bites the inside of his cheek and tries to keep a straight face. "I didn't hurt
you?"
"Nope," John says. "Actually I'd really like it if you did that again."
"Is that...an order?" Equius says.
It must be okay to at least smile at that part. John hopes so, anyway, because
he can't help it. "I'd rather not give any orders when I'm still figuring stuff
out," he says. "After that, um...maybe. But not right now, okay?"
Equius nods. "As you wish," he says. Which sounds a little too much like the
kind of thing you say when you're following orders, but then John decides he'll
just think of it like Equius is quoting Westley from The Princess Bride,
and—wait actually that's still kind of too intense. Never mind.
"So...take three?" John asks.
"Take three," Equius agrees.
This time, they've got the hang of it for real. The kiss is deep and wet and
Equius actually gets a little pushy after a minute, and he makes some pretty
great noises when John holds him tighter for that. They're both clinging to
each other this time, touching, and when Equius slips a hand up under John's
shirt, claws just barely touching skin, they're starting to move into swelling
orchestral territory. Or swelling something, anyway! John's pants feel tighter
than they did a minute ago, that's for sure.
They overbalance after a minute and John stumbles, but really that just makes
him laugh, and Equius chuckles a little, too. "You, um...here," John says,
taking Equius's hand and tugging him toward the bed. "Can't fall over if we're
already lying down, right?"
"If your recuperation platform is reinforced enough for my strength—"
"It'll be fine," John says. He pulls Equius down onto the bed with him and okay
it creaks a little, but it doesn't seem too likely to break. They'll just have
to, uh, not do anything too...vigorous. John blushes like crazy, and kisses
Equius again so he won't have to explain why.
It's way easier to get close like this. Their legs are tangled together and
they're both kind of exploring with their hands—John has pretty much no
fingernails at all, but he can just barely manage to scratch Equius's back when
he tries, and wow does that get some neat reactions. Then Equius kisses his
throat and bites just a tiny bit and it's John's turn to whimper and squirm. He
retaliates by going for Equius's ears—he's got pointy ears, like an elf or a
Vulcan, and John tries biting one lobe to see how that goes, and Equius's moan
is half sound and half hot breath against John's skin, and wow.
They both decide their shirts need to go at about the same time, and Equius
tears his in a hurry to get it off, but he doesn't stop to look embarrassed
about that which makes it actually kind of hot. Trolls have no nipples, John
discovers. At least male trolls don't. But the muscle shapes are pretty similar
between the two of them, and Equius's skin is warm and smooth, and the fine
bluish sheen of his sweat really just makes them slide against each other
easily when John pulls him close and rocks against him again.
Because by now this is...this is really starting to go somewhere in particular.
John's dick is really hard, and when he rubs up against Equius he can feel
Equius's...bone bulge, he supposes. He needs to get used to the troll words for
things, right?
All the same he's not going to bring up the bucket thing unless Equius does it
first, because he really doesn't want to have to stop in the middle and go look
for apparatus when things are getting this good.
"I know I said I wanted to go slow," John says, "but, uh, are you good
with...?" Oh god it's still so hard to say. He catches hold of the waistband of
Equius's shorts and tugs a little.
"You want me to undress," Equius says, and he certainly sounds like he thinks
that's a good idea.
"If you want to," John says. "Yeah. Um. Both of us."
Equius nods. "I would...I would 'be good' with that."
John kicks his shoes off and starts on the buttons of his jeans, and beside him
Equius gets to work stripping his clothes off, too, and once Equius's elbow
catches John in the ribs, which makes John huff a little oof but it doesn't
really hurt, and Equius looks relieved enough that he might cry. John really
doesn't want to make him cry.
And then they're naked, and he forgets about the other stuff. Equius's
dick—bone bulge, man, it's hard to remember to call it that—is blue, which
makes sense but it's still weird to see, and he doesn't have any pubes and John
kind of wonders if that's natural or if he shaves but oh god it would be weird
to stop and ask biology questions now and he's babbling inside his head. And
staring.
When he looks up again, Equius is blushing pretty hard. His cheeks are almost
as blue as his—anyway, he looks nervous. "Sorry," John says. "I'm being kind of
weird, huh? Here, um. Is this okay?" He reaches out to touch, and Equius
shivers, nodding as John's fingertips slide up his thigh.
It's really hard not to just think of it as his dick. It's like how Karkat
calls the bathtub an ablution trap. Trolls just use funny words for things.
Anyway, dick or bone bulge or whatever, John wraps his hand around Equius's and
Equius moans like that's amazing. "Wow," John says, settling in against his
side. He strokes slowly, getting used to the feel of it—differently shaped than
his, and he thinks the texture of troll skin isn't quite like human skin, but
it's hard to explain what the difference is, and anyway it feels good.
Equius wraps one arm around him, pulling him carefully closer. "This is all
right?"
John nods. He shifts a little so his dick presses against Equius's hip. "Yeah,
it's good." He lowers his head and kisses the knob of bone in Equius's
shoulder. "I'll tell you if anything's uncomfortable, okay? It's fine." It must
have been really hard for Equius, growing up like that, so strong that he
couldn't even touch anyone.
But they're taking care of that now, right? John leans into Equius, trying to
keep his rhythm steady—Equius keeps rocking up into his hand, which is pretty
hot, and his breathing sounds raw and kind of shaky. "Oh," he says,
"yes—please—"
"Yeah," John says, "I got you, don't worry," and he's kind of rocking his hips
too, grinding against Equius's hip, because wow this is exciting and he doesn't
want to wait his turn, and the friction's good and Equius is getting really
tense against him, holding on tight—maybe tight enough to be a little
uncomfortable, and maybe his claws are going to leave marks, but John doesn't
want to stop him now—and when Equius comes that's light blue, too, and there's
really a lot of it, really, wow.
He opens his eyes and gives John this look like he can't believe that just
happened and he's super grateful, so John smiles at him. "Thank you," he says,
"John. You...."
"No problem," John says, pushing a little harder against Equius's hip. Equius's
come is dripping down onto his dick and making it slippery, and he chews on his
lip, because that feels good, and like he just wants to—"Help me out?" he says.
"Of course," Equius says. "Yes. Of course." He reaches down and John kind of
rolls half on top of him, bracing both hands against the bed as Equius takes
hold of his dick—really gently, like he's still afraid his strength is
dangerous.
So John says, "Harder, please," and pushes into it when Equius's grip tightens
and then it's amazing, hot and firm and come-slippery, and it really only takes
like thirty seconds of that before John is whimpering and shuddering and coming
in Equius's hand.
His arms don't really want to hold him up after that so he just lets himself
flop down on the bed, still halfway tangled up with Equius, and there's a
squelching noise from all the mess they've made, and John can't help giggling.
For a second Equius tenses up but then he must get it, because he starts to
laugh too, quietly, like a secret, and the way his shoulders shake makes John
feel really warm and happy all the way through. He's really going to need to
change the sheets, and thinking that makes him laugh more—and then hug Equius,
hard, because wow, having orgasms with someone else is great.
"That...was more successful than I expected," Equius says, giving John this
crooked, broken-toothed smile that's actually pretty adorable.
"Yeah," John says. "It was really nice."
Somehow Equius seems to be sweating less now than he was when they were just
getting started, but John feels like he's overheating a little, so he summons
the wind—just a tiny bit—to cool them off. Equius sighs in contentment as the
breeze blows over them both.
Man, Rose is going to be totally insufferable when John has to admit she was
right, but he figures he'll live with that somehow. Turns out sometimes it's
not bad being complicated after all.
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