Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/12925698.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Fallout_4
  Relationship:
      Alternate_Sole_Survivor/Raider_Character(s), Alternate_Sole_Survivor/Sid_
      (OC), Alternate_Sole_Survivor/Male_Sole_Survivor
  Character:
      Alternate_Sole_Survivor, Raider_Character(s), Sid_(OC), Male_Sole
      Survivor, Preston_Garvey, Jun_Long, Marcy_Long, Mama_Murphy_(Fallout),
      Sturges_(Fallout), Bison_Bill_(OC)
  Additional Tags:
      Stockholm_Syndrome, Past_Child_Abuse, Implied/Referenced_Child_Abuse,
      Underage_Rape/Non-con, Past_Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con_Elements, Anal
      Sex, Oral_Sex, Slavery, Kidnapping, Falling_In_Love, Derogatory_Language,
      Mental_Health_Issues, Anxiety, Loneliness, Alternate_Universe_-_Canon
      Divergence, Father/Son_Incest, Hearing_Voices
  Series:
      Part 1 of Cold_as_the_night
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-12-05 Completed: 2017-12-31 Chapters: 5/5 Words: 9522
****** Strangers ******
by ToastedRoach
Summary
     Nate and Nora had two sons, 11-year old Kevin and 1-year old Shaun.
     Kevin was awake when Shaun was taken. Nate in his pod could not see
     Kevin and assumed his other son was taken as well. But Kevin was
     frozen again and did not get out before 2264 when a malfunction of
     his cryo pod thawed him. It's when he discovered his mother was dead.
     He assumed his father was also dead and fled the Vault alone. But
     outside he found a roaring rad storm that blinded him. He ran into
     the woods, terrified.
     He found people and begged them for help, but these "friendly"
     raiders sold him as a slave instead. Months later Kevin found himself
     in the camp of two raider gangs called the Kill Claws and the Blood
     Claws. That camp became his home for 7 years. When inner power
     struggle broke the group apart Kevin was collared by a raider called
     Sid who dragged him out of into the wastes. They spent two years
     travelling together. Two years that created a special bond between
     them. Kevin is suffering from an extreme case of Stockholm syndrome
     and despite his age still acts like a child, but he falls in love
     with his capturer and after they lose sight of each other Kevin does
     all he can to find Sid. Well, he eventually does.
***** Chapter 1 *****
”That is why, one day, I'm gonna be working for Vault-Tec too. I'll drive a big
blue van and visit all the nice people and invite all of them to my vault. I'll
be living there with mommy and daddy and Shaun, and I get to play holotape
games and read comics every day.” He was so proud he managed to read every word
loud and clear and he didn't stutter at all anymore. Mr. Carter was smiling too
and even clapped his hands a few times.
”Thank you Kevin. That was a very nice story. I'm sure you'll have a great
future waiting for you. What's your favorite comic book?”
Well that was not what teachers were supposed to ask, but Kevin was not in a
school class either. They were sitting at home, at the dinner table and mom was
baking cookies right behind them and she smiled to herself. Mr. Carter was much
like family. Like a really tall uncle who spoke clearly and was good at sports
and gave him the thumbs up when he did a good job. In secret of course.
Kevin's feet were burrowed into his dog's fur. Mr. Spooky liked to lay under
the table and eat all the green peas that accidentally fell from Kevin's plate.
The large, warm body shifted and Kevin felt a big adult foot also warming
itself in the curly black fur. He giggled a little.
”RobCo Fun”, he said. ”I used to like Grognak but now I think it's for l-little
kids. And I wanna learn stuff and grow up fast so I can help daddy. See, my
daddy got hurt real bad in the war. He has a metal leg and he can't run or lift
heavy things. It's great we have Codsworth but I can't play baseball with daddy
anymore and he's sad all the time. M-mommy's sad too. So I have to become real
smart and work hard! I'm trying to teach Shaun baseball and he can grab the
ball good already. But he doesn't give it back and he chews on it and makes it
all slobbery and eww.”
”Oh that sounds like your brother is still a little bit too young to play
baseball. Would you like to play with me instead? We can throw ball at the
school court in the afternoon. Or you could come to my house on Sundays. It
might've been a few years since my school days but I still know how to play
baseball. I could teach you a trick or two. That sound like fun?” Mr. Carter's
face was all warm smile and sunshine. His eyes were looking at mom though.
It was the best thing ever. Before dad had to go to war Kevin's biggest dream
was to become a professional baseball player. He saw a stuttering wrestler in
tv once and dad said he could quit going to school if he was good enough, and
maybe one day he could play in the league. Then everything happened. Of course
he was happy that dad came back home alive and mom wasn't worried and crying
every night, but there went his career as a baseball player. Teachers called
him stupid because he stuttered and other kids bullied him. Even girls. Kevin
was not stupid. He wanted to be like the other kids so bad, and instead he had
to grow up and be the man in the house.
A year ago Mr. Carter came from Boston to be his new English teacher. Mr.
Carter wore black rimmed glasses that Kevin had only seen professors and
scientists wear in tv. Mr. Carter was so tall his head scraped at the door
frame and if a bully raised his voice only one look from Mr. Carter was enough
to send him in the naughty corner. The new teacher was really nice to the girl
who wore a brace on her arm and couldn't hold an ink pen, and he was nice to
Kevin too. Mr. Carter was the first person ever who said Kevin would not have
to stutter the rest of his life. All he needed was something called 'vocal
training', and he offered to help – for free. He came to Kevin's house one
Sunday afternoon and had a long chat with mom and dad. And after that he
started to come over every Sunday after church to give Kevin private lessons.
In just a few months Kevin was able to read the newspaper headlines to his dad
and spell all the difficult words correctly. Mom started to invite Mr. Carter
for dinner after homeschool.
Maybe what made her happiest was that she didn't have to worry about Kevin
anymore. For Kevin it was very much the same. There was someone who looked
after him when mom and dad were too busy or tired. There was someone who
believed in him and made him feel proud of himself.
”Thank you Mr. Carter! I'd love to!” Kevin jumped off his chair and wrapped his
arms around his teacher. A little bit over a year ago he had been too shy to
even look up when his name was called in the class. Now his face was shining
with excitement and life.
Mr. Carter hugged him back. ”But we need to ask your mommy first, right?
–
His house was there no more. An empty field greeted Kevin when he came back to
Concord that evening. Why his legs brought him here, he didn't know. It had
been a long walk and maybe he was just tired. Maybe he...
Whatever the reason, the house was there no more. Nothing was. Not the chain-
link fence next to the basketball hoop where Kevin had gotten his first kiss,
not the road he always happily ran up, no mailbox with his teacher's name on
it. Most of Concord had somehow survived but Mr. Carter's house had been
swallowed by the hateful irradiated ground. Kevin put up his tent next to a
dried up tree trunk, a couple or rocks and bushes, and laid his bones to rest.
To dream. About madness and hunger and love.
”Your mommy would be so sad to see what has come of you. Oh she would cry. She
would cry her eyes out and pick them up and eat them. What a great example you
are for young Shaun. Maybe one day soon your brother will join us. He has such
a pretty little face, such a cute mouth. Oh the disgrace and shame you have
brought your poor mother. This is why your daddy quit playing with you and went
to war. He knew what you are. This is why he never ever looked at you again.
You wished he would, right? You wanted to kneel before him and serve him the
only way you can. You wanted to feel his hand on your head and his metal leg
right next to your cheek when he shrudders of pleasure and shows you that he
only lost a leg, not his manhood. But no, you were denied. Left to rot. A
righteous punishment for the whores and unclean.”
He woke up panting and sweating. It was night and the air was clear and cool,
stars bright on heaven above. Fires in the distance, a lone howl of a feral
dog. He was alone.
He was not used to being alone. When he was alone the voices came.
When he was with the Kill Claws and the Blood Claws he was always with someone
at night. There was a hot and sweaty arm wrapped around him and he smelled dirt
and chems and raiders and it was safe, sort of. The voices kept their distance.
As if they did not dare to approach the fires and armed guards, slave pens and
growling dogs fighting over scraps of human flesh. His sleep was restless but
whenever he was woken up it was because he was wanted by someone. They called
him a good mutt and his current owner protected him and kept him well-fed.
Here, in the outskirt of this ruined town, he was woken by nasty voices
instead. He sat on his sleeping bag til the morning came, holding his knees and
rocking himself back and forth, trying to remember how human touch felt like.
Something brushed his toes through the yellow mist and Kevin woke up startled.
He had fallen back asleep. His arms were numb and a roaring yellow storm tore
on his poor little tent. The thing at his feet was alive. Kevin had never seen
an animal like it – with two bulgy eyes on a flat dark face, like a frog, but
bigger and wet and covered in slime. As soon as he started to move the weird
thing dragged itself out of the tent on four stubby legs, with it's belly
scraping the ground and the forked tail swinging behind.
It was small, and propably insignificant, but it scared Kevin so much he packed
all his belongings faster than ever and headed back to the road without
breakfast. With Sid he would not have to be scared. They had fought all kinds
of scary, tough beasts together. But Sid was no longer with him.
A wave of loneliness and cold hit him. Sobbing quietly he continued his walk
back home. To Sanctuary.
He avoided going between Concord's houses. They looked creepy and unstable. Why
were they still here and why Mr. Carter's wasn't? He saw people with guns in
town and sneaked away. When out of sight, he ran and didn't stop until he
reached the little hill next to Red Rocket. The huge rocket still stood there,
rusty and covered in dry vines. The place was abandoned and cold, the opposite
of welcoming. He spent a while looking for any useful scrap or preserves but
soon enough fear drove him forward. He could already see Sanctuary's houses.
Home.
The ruined bridge creaked under his steps. He feared it would fall together and
sighed of relief when he got on the other side. Home...
Ruined houses with holes in the walls and roofs, dirt and debris. Cars rusted
unrecognizable, names on the mailboxes faded, and despite trying his best Kevin
could not remember the names of those who lived in this once happy
neighborhood. The yellow clouds had passed and the air was warm but he was not
at ease. There was something dark lurking in the shadows of all this decay.
What did he expect? Why did he return?
Without noticing he had stopped in front of his old home. Dad's car was
standing in it's usual place, tires rotted away, brown of rust and dirt. There
was no glass on the windows and the front door stood wide open. Kevin almost
didn't dare to go inside. He bit his lip and stepped in. And was surrounded by
creaks and whines and howls of the wind. The kitchen table stood in it's usual
place. The couch too. Everything was covered in dark dust. He walked carefully
through the house, looking into each room. He barely remembered how it had
looked like before. His bed and desk were no longer in the nursery. All shelves
and posters and cool stuff was gone. Shaun's crib still stood and a few toys
littered the ground. Piles of dried leaves everywhere.
He picked up the book he and daddy bought for Shaun, for the first visit in
hospital. The pictures had faded and the book had gotten wet. Some pages stuck
together. 'P is for Perception, a long funny word. It means what I tasted,
smelled, saw and heard.' Tears fell from his eyes. He would have loved to teach
Shaun all kinds of words. He used to be so happy that he didn't stutter
anymore. Almost anymore. Only when he was nervous or scared.
Cold steel pressed againts his back and Kevin dropped the book. He might have
yelped a little. He hadn't seen anyone while coming into town. He thought he
was alone. He heard the familiar click and started to shake from head to toe.
”What are you doing in my house?” A deep, hoarse voice grunted. ”Answer me!”
”I-I-I d-didn't k-know someone l-lived h-h-here. I-I just need a p-place t-to
sleep.” This had happened before, after Sid was gone and he was all alone. He
sought shelter in an abandoned house only to be awoken by it's angry owner
toting a gun. The Commonwealth didn't have many safe places and he had gotten
used to being driven away. Even if someone was friendly at first, as soon as
they saw the slave collar around his neck they decided it was too risky to have
him around.
”There are other houses around. Pick one of them to sleep in. But not this one.
It's mine.” The gun was kept in place but the man's voice had a softer edge in
it. ”You're a runaway slave? Heard about stuff like that happening. Don't
worry, you're safe here.”
Finally, the gun was pulled away. ”Now, get out. And don't touch that crib. It
belongs to my son.”
”No! I don't know w-who you are but th-that's Shaun's crib a-and putting
someone else's baby in it is n-not okay!” He was so scared he was about to pee
himself but letting some wastelander raise a stupid wastelander baby in Shaun's
room was too much and he turned to face the man, tears still running down his
face but ready to defend the ruined blue crib. The only thing of Shaun he had
left.
He didn't expect what he saw. Anything else really. A lone raider, scarred, in
chem frenzy, or a scavenger armed to teeth. But not a frail old man in a dusty
Vault suit, holding a shotgun in his shaking hands. A man with a metal leg and
desperate look in his eyes.
 
 
***** Chapter 2 *****
He swallowed every last drop and cleaned the man's cock with his mouth, sucking
gently with his lips just like Sid wanted it. After he was done he sat back on
his hunches and waited, carefully watching the man's face for approval. It
never came. Sid let out a sigh of relief but his eyes remained closed. No
gesture for Kevin to turn around and pull his pants down.
They had walked longer than the previous day and fought all sorts of disgusting
beasts. Maybe the man was just tired. It was still somehow disappointing. For
whatever reason, after the hardships of the day Kevin craved the man's touch.
Actually, if he thought about it real hard, every single day he wanted Sid
more. While walking two steps behind the man he found himself staring at that
lean but strong back and the legs that could go on and on and on, no matter how
bad the road was. He could watch those muscular buttocks in the worn out road
leathers forever. He let the gun hang down by his side and stared mindlessly at
the two hard buns rising and sinking with every step and in his mind he took a
long leap forward and grabbed them and pushed his face between them. During the
blessed but short breaks when they sat on the ground out of sight of potential
enemies and Sid let him drink a few mouthfuls of dirty water, Kevin's eyes were
glued on the bulge between the man's legs and if he spied even the slightest
movement under the tight pants his heart would skip a beat, all sense leave his
mind and his cock spring to life. He was taught to sit with his knees together
but the longer he was with Sid the more he wanted to get caught. Show off and
be seen.
”W-w-want me t-to continue?” He raised his hand, almost touching the man's
thigh. No hands! Damnit! He let out a scared little gasp but Sid's eyes were
still closed.
”No. We just sleep.” The man stretched his arms and back, slowly raising
himself from the ruined patio chair. Kevin sat back, not knowing what to do.
Sid yanked the chain attached to Kevin's collar. He was forced to crawl behind
the man, over the doorstep and to the only corner of the house left standing.
Two thin, rotten walls their only cover tonight. Without further instructions
Sid laid down and the confused Kevin crawled right next to him.
Maybe he was feeling a little rebellious – with a leaking boner and all this
craving. A slave had no right to say such things and he said it anyway:
”You don't have to keep me ch-chained anymore. I won't run away.” Yep. He was
certainly begging for a punishment.
”Why would I trust a whore? Tch.” Sid's voice was as cold and cruel as the
night when he slapped the collar around Kevin's neck and dragged him out into
the hostile Wasteland. A Blood Claw through and through, took what he wanted
from whoever he wanted.
And yet he didn't remove his hand from Kevin's waist. After a while Kevin heard
the click of a key and the chain was removed.
”The collar stays on”, Sid said quietly but there was no more menace in his
voice. Kevin's heart jumped. He nodded eagerly and pushed his ass back. Sid
might punish him for the initiative but he couldn't help himself.
The man chuckled. ”You really want your reward, don't you? A simple 'fuck me
please' is enough, you know? But this'll do.” His hand moved to Kevin's hip and
rolled him on his back. ”Let's do it in a different way this time. I want to
see your face.” His hands rubbed Kevin's thighs, teasing his erection with
those sharp claw-like fingernails, and a wide grin spread across his face when
Kevin jerked his hips forward and suffocated his moans with both hands.
”It's ok to make noise...” Sid's breaths grew heavier. He pulled Kevin's pants
off and the young man's cock jumped free. Sid took it in his fist. ”It's ok to
do this yourself too. I'll show you how to make it feel good...”
”Please... Fuck me please...” Kevin's voice but not more than a whimper. He
spread his legs and lifted them up to give the man a better access like he was
taught to do. Sid reached for the bottle of oil in his bag. Using lubrication
was still a new experience to Kevin. In the camp no one bothered. And the
slaves were not supposed to have it easy. Sid was different.
He would've never ran away. He liked the man a lot. Sid kept him close at all
times. If they found a safe place to rest during the day, Kevin was allowed to
sit between the man's legs, lean against him while Sid fumbled on his collar to
see if it was too tight and gently tugged his hair. Things as close to
affection as he could ever have imagined receiving. He felt the man's growing
erection against his back and a feeling of happiness stirred in his chest. No,
he'd never run away. He loved Sid.
”Look at me... Look me in the eyes.” And Kevin did. With his hands he spread
his asscheeks. Sid's oily fingers slipped inside him, two at the time, four at
the time. The man's cock followed with one swift push from the tip to the root
and Kevin gasped, losing focus. His eyes rolled back and his right leg came
down. But Sid didn't mind. Not this time. He lifted Kevin's leg on his shoulder
and grabbed the young man's hips. A little bit of oil was poured on Kevin's
cock and a warm, clawed hand started rubbing it, pulling it, massaging the tip
first gently and then rougher as the man picked up a proper thrusting pace.
”Look at me. I love you Kevin.”
 
***** Chapter 3 *****
Kevin sat on the curb in front of the house and let his head hang. The
afternoon sun was hot. He was thirsty. Dad had promised to be back soon but the
shadows kept creeping on the sidewalk and growing longer. He still had the
bottle of purified water dad gave to him. It was too precious though. He had
decided to save it for later.
Ragged crows flew over the town, croaking, and wind ghosted around in the high
oak. Other than that it was silent here. It was safe, but boring. Kevin was
rarely bored. In the raider camp someone always wanted to have sex, or he was
given other work, or he was busy watching the men go about their business.
Traveling with Sid and later alone he spent every minute spying for enemies. In
Sanctuary he was bored, and he was uneasy. He could have been sitting inside
reading the stack of pre-war magazines dad gave to him but he had no interest
in neither. The couch was too soft and reading stupid Grognaks? Why would dad
collect them anyways? For Shaun? He swallowed the tears back and wished Sid was
still with him.
–
”It's really you.” Dad sighed. Kept staring at him. ”I... I never thought I'd
see you again. They took Shaun and... I thought they took you as well.” He
sighed again but this time with a sad half-smile. ”You've gotten older. How
long has it been since you got out?”
”Sid said I was b-bought four years b-before he joined t-the gang. T-then it
was three years b-before the big fight and our escape and t-then we travelled
until G-G-Gunners took him. T-then I was all alone. Sid said I'm now 20 years
old.”
”9 years out here... That's a long time son. Do you know what year it was when
you got out of the Vault?”
Kevin shook his head.
”Or what year it is now? Nobody ever tell you any news?”
”T-they don't tell slaves anything. And we lived far away from here. In the
west, b-behind the mountains.” He dared a quick look at dad. He thought people
didn't get old when they were frozen but dad's face had a lot more wrinkles
than before and his hair was turning grey.
”But you came back home after all that. You're my good boy.” Dad wrapped an arm
around his shoulders. ”You're safe now. And soon Shaun will be with us too.
I've been out here with Codsworth for almost half a year, looking for you two.
We couldn't find out what happened to you, but we know who took Shaun. It's a
miracle to find you here. I only came back to pick up supplies and because
there's one more thing I need to do before hunting down the man who killed your
mum. Sanctuary needs to be alive again. With people living here, in these old
houses. This place feels too much like a ghost town. You're welcome to stay in
this house. It's your home. I hope we can all live here peacefully one day.”
He had thought dad was dead too. It was weird sitting here side by side and dad
was chatting like they'd known each other for years. Every word Kevin said was
another lie and the voices grew louder.
”You said you travelled with someone named Sid. Was he a fellow slave?”
Kevin felt increasingly reluctant to share anything. Something had happened to
dad. Or maybe something had happened to him. They were like strangers, no more
the same family.
”No. I mean... No, he was not a slave. H-he... T-there was a fight and he
helped me to escape.” His mouth was dry and he felt panic rise in his gut.
Dad reached out and touched his neck. ”Dear God, Kevin. How long have you been
wearing this collar? Your skin is all bruised. Let me grab my tools and cut the
lock off. At least it's not one of those explosive ones...”
”No! You can't take it off!” Kevin jumped to his feet and backed away. He was
panting so hard he felt sick. Dad didn't try to reach for him again and waited
silently for Kevin to calm down.
”I understand”, he said at last. ”Your owner told you that, right? It's okay. I
won't try to take it off. But you're no longer a slave and you don't have to
wear it anymore. So, if there's ever a day when you decide you want to get rid
of it, just come talk to me. That okay with you? Now, would you like to eat
something? I have fresh vegetables and squirrel on a stick. Clean water too.”
–
The first night was awkward. Kevin was not used to sleeping on a bed. At
nightfall dad said he could sleep on the other side of his double bed and Kevin
curled himself into fetal position at the edge of the dirty mattress. Dad fell
asleep as soon as he laid down and it made matters worse. Dad's slow breaths
and snoring and body heat all reminded him too much of Sid and being in the
camp. A part of him wanted to snuggle closer. Hug the man next to him. Touch
him. Make him feel good. But he knew dad would hate him for that, and in the
silence of the night the voices came. Teasing, daring. Once dad found out what
kind of a person he was and the things he liked, he'd be driven away like a
feral dog. In the darkness the voices were his only truth.
”He will hate you anyway. Come on, give it a try! That's all you're good for.
Maybe, once he knows what you are, he'll let you serve you. Think about that.
How'd you like to sit at his feet like a good mutt, waiting for scraps from his
meal? He'll throw you the bones and you'll gnaw on them for his entertainment.
Maybe he'll throw ball with you but you're not supposed to catch it with your
hands. No. You're going to run on all your fours and bring the ball back with
your pretty little mouth. That mouth of yours that was made for sucking a man's
cock. As a reward for being a good mutt he might let you do that. That'd make
you real happy, wouldn't it?”
After midnight he got up, careful not to make the bedframe creak, and laid down
in the far corner. Skinny arms hugging his malnourished body, knees pulled
against his stomach, whispering ”you're a good mutt” over and over until the
dreams came.
–
Fires of the camp. Dogs howling. He was tired and hungry but there was another
knot to bind. And another one. The rope never ended. He sat with the old women
and those children too small to do proper work. Each of them had a basket full
with this one long rope in front of them. A looming shadow and the words
”you're a good mutt”, a hand grabbing his arm, pulling him high, many steps and
ladders. Finally on top of the tower he had no shoes and his clothes were in
shreds. He was stolen. The shadow with a bison's shoulders and horns lifted him
up and held him over a dark empty. He let his head hang back and all the camp's
lights danced in his eyes upside down and the man's cock felt so good driving
deep into him. He moaned and cried of pleasure and begged for more. Bison Bill
fucked him long and hard and everything below the sniper's nest was so tiny it
almost didn't exist. 'You've been here just two years and already love it this
much? Oh I knew you were a good find the moment I saw them bring you in.'
–
There had been a plate of food in the kitchen when he woke up. A crab cake,
cooked carrots and Instamash. Dad was behind the house, digging in the garden.
He didn't want help and Kevin felt useless. Scared.
Dad had been growing carrots and gourd this summer. After he left for Concord
Kevin wandered around town a while. Patched roofs, repaired fences, a water
pump. Almost every backyard had a garden set up for growing produce and all
this was dad's work. He really wanted to bring Sanctuary back to life.
Footsteps on the old wooden bridge, chatter, clip-clop of hoofs. Kevin was
already back inside, hiding in the shadows, when the little caravan climbed the
hill. Dad and a black-skinned man were walking in front of a group of exhausted
settlers. They had a brahmin with them. Dad and the black man came towards
Kevin's house while the others sat down in the shadow.
”These are the people I told you about”, dad said. ”Will you help us out? Bring
them water and show them around town. Me and Preston here will set up some
defences to make it through the first night.”
Thirsty, tired people. Angry, confused people. People who had to be strong and
carry the weight. And then there was the fortune teller. Her eyes were almost
blind but when she saw Kevin they grew larger. She knew. Kevin wanted to run
away, hide, anywhere would be better than around those ancient eyes, but he did
as his dad asked and brought them water. He showed them the houses his dad had
repaired, the little gardens and the water pump. He brought the brahmin into
the pen and tied it down. He took a basket and went digging for fresh carrots
to get out of sight. Yet he felt their eyes on his back. The angry woman and
the fortune teller and the man who had a smirk on his face.
When he came back to Rosa's house with the carrots everyone had found work to
do. He saw dad and Preston and the smiling man build a makeshift guard post.
Only the tired man was still sitting on the ground. Kevin thought he might have
been a slave too because he did nothing but sit there staring into the air with
blank eyes.
”C-can I help?” He said crouching next to the man. There was a flash of fear in
the dark eyes.
”No, no... I'm good... Wait. You're Nate's son, aren't you?” As Kevin nodded
the man let out a sigh of relief. ”Oh I'm so glad to see he finally found you.
I'm Jun. I hope you can stay here with us.” There was a tired smile on his
face. Tired but friendly and without hidden meanings.
”Dad said I can stay and I don't have any other p-place to go.” Kevin sat down
on the cool concrete. ”If you need help with anything j-just ask, okay?”
”Doesn't that hurt? Will it explode if you try to take it off?” Jun pointed at
his neck. He sounded worried and Kevin gave him his sunniest smile.
”No, it's not explosive. It's fine. It doesn't hurt, really.” He lifted his
hands to touch the collar. Sid's coarse hands on his neck, spreading plant
extract between the metal and the injuries on his skin. 'You look good in it',
the man said and gave him a kiss. 'You're mine now. I'll never sell you.'He
wasn't aware of the happy expression on his face but Jun observed it quietly.
 
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Notes
     This was so painful to complete. If you're sensitive to underage
     rape/non-con themes please be careful reading.
     TW: hearing voices - I know reading about it can trigger an episode
     and these are particularly nasty.
Dad and Preston sat in the kitchen, drawing maps, drinking stale beer and
talking about how things were in the Commonwealth. The weather was getting
colder. Wind beat branches against the windows and some unknown beast howled in
the night.
Kevin had finished all his chores. There was no-one to tell him what to do but
he made sure dad's house was always spotless, his clothes clean, his shoes free
of mud and dust. He still hadn't seen Codsworth. Dad had left the robot to
another settlement further south. Dad said they needed someone to guard the
houses while the Minutemen built them defences. That's how Kevin learned his
dad was with the Minutemen. Sturges had tinkered with his artificial leg, added
servos taken from some discarded robot. Dad was now walking well. But wasn't
really his dad anymore.
After the first night he had slept in Shaun's nursery. He dragged a dirty
mattress there and continued to sleep on the floor. With the new people in town
dad seemed so determined to restore Sanctuary to it's former glory. Dad had a
purpose in his life and Kevin wasn't it. The 'love' and affection he got from
dad were shallow and forced. Kevin told himself he didn't need to be hugged,
that he wasn't a little kid anymore and this was how adults lived their lives.
He was no slave anymore. This was how free people lived. Daddy had a new best
friend. Maybe he could find someone too. Someone like Sid. He missed Sid and
prayed the man was still alive. Sid was strong, a good fighter, a survivor.
On other moments he wished he was still with the Blood Claws. Sanctuary was
cold and empty compared to the raider camp. Kevin ran his fingers over the old
scar on his right brow.
–
He was in the fighting pit, holding a rusty knife, facing an older kid who had
a shard of glass in his hand. Slasher. Only his mother called him Michael. He
would soon be taking part in his raider initiation. He was the son of one of
the Kill Claws but his mother was a slave. No-one had ever beaten Slasher in
the fighting pit. Kevin had no chance. Everybody was cheering for Slasher, they
threw bottles into the pit. Using glass shards was Slasher's speciality. The
boy's skin was scarred all over, like a ghoul, he felt no pain.
Kevin's second year in the camp had only just begun. Ripper Red, the man who
had purchased him and brought him here, was still alive. He was killed later
that year on a raid. He stood further away next to Bison Bill who stared right
at Kevin and smiled. If Kevin looked him into the eyes the man would lick his
lips and his smile grow to a feral grin. A promise. Red had shared his property
with Bison Bill from day one. When Red lost interest in Kevin and moved on,
Bison Bill became one of his first regulars. Kevin was sold to the camp's
gunsmith, an old Kill Claw with little interest in slaves but a lot of interest
in making money, and Bison Bill came by several times a week to stock up on
ammo. He'd pay a little extra to have his go with Kevin while the old man
counted his caps. Bison Bill didn't bother closing the back room door and
anyone walking by the store could see him plowing Kevin on a pile of boxes.
Slasher made his first attack, a tentative move just to see how to best take
his 'enemy' down. Kevin had seen his fights and dodged the glass shard. It cut
through his Vault suit and into his arm, but he saved his face – for now.
Slasher always went for the face. Most boys in the same age had scars to prove
they fought Slasher. Even the tougher girls. Kevin was in the pit because
Ripper Red was bored and he meant nothing to his owner anymore. He squeezed the
hilt of the knife and wished for a miracle. A break of thunder and fire from
heaven to strike down the crazy, scary kid he had to face. Slasher attacked
again and Kevin ducked again, and at that moment his eyes darted to the
audience and locked onto Bison Bill. The promise. The grin. The hand stroking a
visible erection through worn out pants.
It was all he saw. He was oblivious to Slasher's next attack, he didn't feel
the glass shard cutting into his brow or his feet being kicked from under him.
He went down to the ground hard, with burning lust inside and blind to anything
but Bison Bill's cock.
–
He missed it so much it hurt. He missed Sid and Bison Bill and all the other
Blood Claws. He missed the nasty Kill Claws and Trish and Ricca, his worst
bullies. Even stinky old Vince who always hurt him with that weird curved dick
and stuck an old sock into his mouth so he wouldn't cry out loud.
No-one here wanted him. The voices crept back. He wanted to get fucked so bad.
Make a man feel good. Any man would do, really. But Sanctuary only had men he
didn't dare to approach. Preston was dad's best friend and he tried to avoid
Sturges. The man looked at him in a way that made him get hard but he was too
scared to even look back. Jun was his friend but Jun was married.
The voices took advantage of his desperation and sadness. The whispers sounded
almost comforting and in the background the lonely wind cried.
”You're so good, Kevin”, Mr. Carter said. He laughed and smacked Kevin's ass.
”Amazing! I can ride you like this every day and you're still as tight as the
first time. Your mommy and daddy really are dumb, huh Kev? Look at you! A
little slut begging for it, aren't you? Your mommy and daddy don't care about
you. But they care about Shaun. It's the nature's law – when a new baby comes
the older son is forgotten. It's not so bad you're here with me. You have
talent Kev. Talent to please men.”
He wasn't sure if it was Mr. Carter's voice at all. He didn't remember it so
well anymore. Much of what he did with his teacher had started to get hazy.
Sometimes he dreamed of playing ball with Mr. Carter. It was a hot summer's
day, full of dust and wind and laughter. Mr. Carter held his hand and walked
him home. The river was slow and they crossed it in shallow water. Just before
climbing on the retaining wall Mr. Carter touched Kevin's ass and called him a
dirty little slut.
He sat in the cold room and tears started to flow again. The voices laughed and
croaked and mocked him. Kevin's tries to reason with them were countered with
more of the truths he had learned to believe. It wasn't Shaun's fault he was
just a baby. Mommy and daddy had to take care of Shaun most. Kevin had really
wanted to help them.
”But you still went to see Mr. Carter every day after school, didn't you? And
on Sundays too. You ran happily to his house even though you already knew what
would happen once the lessons were over. You must've figured out he was lying
about your 'bright' future too and despite all that you went to his house and
willingly took your clothes off and laid down on his bed. You knew you were
doing something very bad and very wrong. Think about it little slut. Even after
Mr. Carter stopped being nice to you, you went to his house and let him do
dirty, dirty things to you. I think you enjoyed it, Kevin. You could've said
no. You could've run away and told your mommy and daddy. But you didn't. Did
you really want to help your family or did you just want to be used by men?”
It hurt too much. No way he was going to sleep in this house tonight. The
Long's had taken one of the houses on the northern side and they had a lot of
place. Mama Murphy lived opposite them and Sturges in Rosa's house. He could
ask one of them if he could stay for the night – well, the Long's and Mama
Murphy. He would never bring up the courage to talk to Sturges. Of course he
watched the man as often as he could between his own chores, trying hard not to
be caught staring. He could not possibly bear to be in the same house with
Sturges and the massive, semi-hard cock outlined by the worn out denim. Sturges
liked to show off his goods, and by now he had noticed Kevin watching.
”I think we can manage. Thank you for all you've done”, Preston said when Kevin
entered the room. He and dad shook hands and dad turned to Kevin and smiled.
”So, it's settled. My work here is done and the Minutemen will take care of the
rest. I will leave to Diamond City tomorrow. Would you like to come with me? To
find Shaun together.”
That smile. When did dad last time smile like that to him?
”You don't have to, if you'd rather stay home.” The smile faded and Kevin
didn't know what scared him more, the smile or it disappearing. He quickly
nodded and said he'd like to go find Shaun, but his voice sounded weak and
unsure. He didn't want to stay home. It wasn't his home. But he was scared of
leaving too. He would be travelling with dad, walking behind dad like he used
to walk behind Sid, and when they set up a camp at night he would be sleeping
next to dad.
He said he'd go out to say goodbye to everyone, and left, feeling his face get
red. The November air was almost icy but it eased the burning on his face and
between his legs. He still wore only the scraps that were left of his slave
clothes over the jeans and t-shirt Sid had given to him. He had refused any
proper, warm clothes dad offered him. He had done nothing to earn them. He
barely knew dad. Maybe the voices were right. The things they said hurt, but
must've been because they were actually right about him and dad and everything.
He came to the Long's house just as the door opened and Jun came out wrapped in
a wintercoat.
”I don't care where you sleep! But not in my house! Spineless wimp.” Marcy
slammed the door shut after her husband. Jun stood in front of the house,
looking up at the stars. Looking terrible lost and alone. His pale face shone
in the dark. Kevin took a few running steps to catch up with the man. It wasn't
the first time Marcy threw him out.
”Oh, hi, it's you.” Jun smiled. He had overcome most of his fear and
uncertainty but he was still tired with dark rings around his eyes. Working on
the fields every day, fighting with his wife every night. ”Don't mind Marcy.
It's her way of coping with loss. She doesn't mean it. Damn, you look like
you're freezing.” He took Kevin under his arm.
They walked down the hill to the river. Every time Marcy threw him out Jun
slept in the house at the end of the bridge. Dad called it the Russell's house.
It had a dog house but Kevin had no memory of any dogs except his own. Mr.
Spooky ran off a few days before they had to go into the Vault. He never did
that before and always slept next to Kevin's bed. Dad said Mr. Spooky knew the
bombs were coming and ran into a safe place. The memory made Kevin shake and
Jun held him closer.
”Winter's coming. We have to find you better clothes. I could talk to Marcy
about patching the ones you have. She likes you. She may seem always angry but
it's just this situation we're in.”
”She hates dad.”
Jun stopped at the corner of the house, next to the welcome sign. ”She doesn't
hate your dad. She might think that it's unfair that she lost her son and your
dad found his, but she'll get over it. Eventually. She didn't want to leave
home but we had to. Better for us to be alive than dead, and we'd be dead for
sure without Garvey and the Minutemen. Marcy blames Garvey for every bad thing
that has happened to us since we left Quincy. When we met your dad he agreed to
help us and despite all good he has done Marcy is suspicious because Nate
decided to join the Minutemen. But she'll get over that too. You don't have to
worry.” Jun smiled again but his eyes glinted emotionless in the starlight. His
arm was heavy on Kevin's shoulders.
Darkness was deeper inside the house. Kitchen and living area were used as a
general storage but in the smaller bedroom the floor was covered with a blue
rug, the shelves littered with candles and a cozy wooden bed built next to one
wall.
Kevin climbed on it and pulled a blanket around him. He had stayed here before,
with Jun, and a few times on his own. This was where they could talk and this
was where Jun kept his secret chem stash. Stuff he had brought from back home
and stuff he got from a trader at the old Drumlin Diner south of Concord. After
a rough day on the field and getting yelled at without a break he came to
Russell's house to have his peace and get high. Sometimes he shared a Jet with
Kevin.
This time too. They sat on the bed side by side under the same blanket, warming
each other, taking turns on the inhaler.
”Dad wants me to go with him tomorrow”, Kevin said quietly. The drug made it
easier to fight back the tears.
”Do you want to go?”
”No.”
”Then don't. It's that simple. Nobody here will force you to do things you
don't want to. Especially your dad.”
”T-the voices are worse...” His voice was nothing but a whisper and he lost the
battle against the tears. Jun pulled him closer.
”If you want to tell me about them, I'm here. I'll keep you safe. Do they say
bad things about you?”
”Yeah... About dad too. And people I knew before.” Kevin wrapped his arms
around Jun and snuggled close like a little kid. Right now he felt safe,
everything was warm and he wasn't scared of anything. Jun was here with him.
The world around them had slowed down, almost stopped.
”How about me? Or the others in Sanctuary? They say bad things about us too?”
”No, just...people from before.”
Jun stroked his hair and the man's dirty fingers trailed down his cheek to
touch the collar. ”If there's anything I can do to help just say it. I hate to
see you suffer. You can come to our house anytime. You don't have to stay at
home if it's scary.”
”Will you have sex with me?”
Jun's hand stopped but wasn't pulled away. ”Whoa, Kevin. That's...a weird
request.”
”It makes the voices go away and I miss it so much. From before.” Kevin started
to sob again. ”I miss everyone. I didn't wanna run away. Sid stole me. I miss
being back home with everyone and being wanted.”
”So, you were that kind of slave? Since you were a little kid? That's
terrible.” Jun's voice was filled with worry but his fingers moved again and
touched Kevin's neck under the collar. A shiver ran through Kevin's body and
his sobs became soft moans.
”Do you want a woman? Have you ever done it with a woman?”
”Ricca wanted me to do it with her but... I tried but I didn't like her
touching me.” His face twisted with the unpleasant memory. ”She was too scary.
She made fun of me.”
His voice got more confident, even dreamy. ”But I liked doing it with men. Not
at first but there was this fight on my second year... My owner made me fight
in a pit and something happened cause afterwards I started to like men a lot.
The things they did to me didn't hurt anymore, it just felt good, and I got
hard too. Bison Bill was my favorite and he bought me many times a week. One
time he came to the slave shack at night and dragged me up to the sniper's nest
and fucked me there. It was so good...” He gasped when he came back to reality.
Jet's effect had faded and Kevin was terrified what would happen after he told
Jun all this.
Jun was back at stroking his hair. ”Yes I suppose a child can learn to like
that if it's done often enough...”
”No! I really liked it. And they weren't even the first ones to fuck me. A
teacher did that before the bombs fell. He was mean and the voices say a lot of
mean things about him, but...” Kevin dropped his gaze and blushed. ”He made me
feel happy too and I didn't say anything because of that. He let me play the
holotape games that came with RobCo Fun. And I tried to learn quick to help
mommy and daddy and Shaun.”
”I'm so sorry Kevin. No child should ever have to live through horrors like
that.”
”But I'm adult now. Sid said it's not wrong to like men.” He touched the collar
again. ”And it's not wrong to want to be a slave. He said I'm his now and that
he'd never sell me, and that made me happy. I still miss everyone else though.
I can't help it. I want to be with men and make them feel good.”
”No. I'm sorry. You're my best friend and I understand you, but I would not
forgive myself if I caused you any further pain. Please, forgive me. I can't do
it with you. Travel with your dad tomorrow. It's good to see new places and
meet new people.” Jun's gentle hand was finally pulled away and cold surrounded
Kevin once again.
He looked back from the door. There were tears in Jun's eyes.
 
***** Chapter 5 *****
”Oh. You're back.” Dad stood up with some difficulties. His stature was hunched
against the flickering light. The map he had been holding fell to the floor. ”I
might have hurt my arm today... I didn't want to worry Preston.”
Dad was in pain. He needed Kevin.
”M-maybe we should wait? Until it gets b-better?”
”No. I've waited too long already. Just wanted to be sure these people are
going to be alright and Preston needed the backup. But we need to get moving.
Do you still want to come with me?”
”Yes.” There was no other choice left anymore. Maybe after they found Shaun and
were a family again things would get better. Shaun was no longer a baby. He was
now ten years old. People had seen him in Diamond City. Shaun needed them to be
strong. Kevin stepped next to his dad and helped him walk to the bedroom. Dad's
prosthetic leg clanked against the wall. Kevin looked down and fear washed over
him. ”You can't move your leg?”
”Son, I've been on my feet all day and then sat down for the good part of the
evening. If there was still feeling in my hip I'd be worried.” Nate tried to
turn the matter into a joke but his grimace of pain told another story. ”Help
me take it off. I'll be fine after a good night's sleep.”
He sat on the bed and leaned back supporting his weight on his good arm. Kevin
kneeled down quickly. Holding the heavy leg he helped Nate pull off his Vault
suit and underwear, and then detach the straps holding the leg in place. Nate
sighed of relief and massaged the stump that was left of his own leg.
Kevin was still kneeling between his legs and his eyes were fixated on dad's
cock. So dark, so big, so much foreskin, surrounded by a thin patch of greying
pubic hair. It moved a little and grew half an inch when Nate stretched his
leg. The veins underneath the skin pulsated invitingly. Two months. Two whole
months since Kevin last time had a cock in his mouth. He couldn't hold himself
back. The craving was too strong. He leaned forward, placed one hand on his
dad's thigh and swallowed every bit of the brownish deliciousness at once. Dad
smelled the same as when he was little. Of gravel and sweat and steel. Now that
smell had a tint of urine stained underwear instead of soap but it was so much
better. He slid his wet lips along the shaft and it grew, filling his throat.
His dad let out a groan of pleasure when he gently licked the tip, pushing his
tongue into every creviche.
He didn't think it was dad's cock. For weeks he had been starving for a man.
Any man. He had tried hard not to be a slave anymore. Dad kept telling him he
no longer needed to serve others. He could do all the things he wanted to. But
all he wanted was a cock in his mouth. Someone to please, someone to obey,
someone who did all the thinking and difficult decisions and let him be a good
mutt. He had wanted to please Jun but his friend said no. Something broke
inside Kevin and when he left Russell's house his heart was as cold as the
night.
The voices kept whispering into his ears. Jun hated him now, he had lost the
only friend he had and nothing mattered. The voices said so many bad things but
they went silent the moment he took dad's cock into his mouth. After that all
was bliss. His right hand was down his jeans, rubbing and pulling on his own
cock. Sid had said it was okay. Sid had showed him how to do it. When Sid
touched him it felt so, so good.
There was a look of shock and disgust on his dad's face. ”Is this what those
slavers taught you?”
Kevin looked up, puzzled. From dad's groan just now he thought he was doing it
right. Using his tongue a lot and being gentle. ”Did I d-do something wrong?”
”All of it is wrong! You can't do that. I'm your dad!” Nate showed Kevin's head
back and covered his still semi-hard cock with one big hand.
”But I w-want to make you f-feel good. And I'm really good at this.” He was
begging now, pressing his face against dad's pubes, trying to reach the big
prize he had been denied so long. Another hand grabbed his hair and yanked his
head to the side.
”Stop it. Kevin.” His dad's voice was pained. ”You're not a slave anymore.
You're safe with me. You still won't let me take off that collar, and now this.
I don't know you anymore, Kevin. When did my good son turn into...this?”
His words made Kevin back off. Staring at dad with vision blurred by tears all
the pain and yearning inside of him turned to rage.
”What do you care?! You went to war and left me and mom alone and you let Mr.
Carter take me to his house and put his dick in my ass and you only care about
Shaun anyway. I wanna go back home and be with Sid and everyone else. They love
me and I love them. They're my real family. I love the things they do to me and
I wanna be their slave!” He stumbled to his feet and ran out, out of the house,
through the backyard and down the hill.
He didn't stop until he fell off the river bank and into the ice cold water.
–
A pale sun rose over a November town. Once this was a happy, sunny neighborhood
with fair hearts and gentle people, in a time long, long ago, in a different
world as far away as a fading star on the morning sky. People still lived here.
Tired people, angry people. People who had to carry the weight for those who
could not.
Every morning they came out and worked the fields til the late night, carving a
life for themselves in the hostile new world, but with hope in their hearts. A
beacon of light from ancient times, lit by a stranger from another world. The
stranger himself gone now but the beacon burned brighter every day.
The first frost of the winter started to melt as soon as the sun rose. Preston
Garvey of the Minutemen walked his morning rounds. His footsteps woke up a boy
sleeping in one of the abandoned houses. He was curled into a fetal position in
the corner behind a makeshift guardpost, a ragged doormat the only thing
between his skinny body and the cold tiled floor. Not much older than a
teenager, he wore tattered rags and a slave collar around his neck. A runaway
slave, a sad but too common sight in these days.
Preston stopped at the door but didn't enter. ”There's food and water for you
at Rosa's house. Come out whenever you're ready. We will take good care of you
and you're safe here. If there's anything you need just ask.”
Quiet sobbing was the only answer he got.
 
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