Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/13036458. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: The_Walking_Dead_(TV), The_Walking_Dead_RPF Relationship: Andrew_Lincoln/Chandler_Riggs, Carl_Grimes/Rick_Grimes Character: Andrew_Lincoln, Chandler_Riggs Additional Tags: Metafiction, Underage_-_Freeform, Implied/Referenced_Cheating, Implied/ Referenced_Underage_Sex, Self-Indulgent Stats: Published: 2017-12-16 Updated: 2018-03-23 Chapters: 8/? Words: 19257 ****** Stranger Than Fiction // Reality Meets Another Attraction ****** by RickGrimes Summary The one where Chandler finds the fan fiction. // Notes Just want to say that the premise of this story is actually highly realistic. It's very likely that Chandler knows about this stuff because he's such an internet creeper. See the end of the work for more notes ***** Seems Fake, but Okay. ***** When Chandler first browsed the fan fiction website—AO3 he found out it was called—he hadn’t been looking for anything in particular. A couple of friends at school had mentioned there was Walking Dead fan fiction, and Chandler had gotten curious. It wasn’t a big deal. He wasn’t off-put by it or anything; he actually found it interesting. It took a while for him to figure out how to navigate the search bar, but he eventually got the hang of it. He marvelled at all the pairings people came up with. Most of them involved his coworkers Andy and Norman—whether individually or separately. Not many included him. He was half disappointed and half glad; he wasn’t really sure he wanted to read about himself, or Carl as it were. Chandler raised his eyebrows when he found the RPF tag, surprised that people actually cared enough about the actors to write about them and not the characters. He was dying to know if he was in there. Was there anything about him and his girlfriends? Was there any truth to what they were writing? Specifically, what if someone at school had revealed personal and accurate information about him within the fan fiction? Chandler had to see. He wasn’t prepared to find his name and Andy’s name with a little slash in between it. It hadn’t taken long to figure out the pattern: slash meant relationship and E meant explicit. Before he could even scroll down the page, the second slash pairing next to Andrew Lincoln/Chandler Riggs was Carl Grimes/ Rick Grimes. “Jesus Christ,” Chandler read aloud to himself. “People are insane.” He clicked on a couple of the stories, not planning on reading any, but viciously curious. Some of the stories were short and pure sex, and others weren’t about sex primarily—those were tagged as “fluff”, Chandler noticed. Some were super long, and others were written like some of the poetry he’d had to read in school. There was all sorts of stuff. One that caught his eye even had Rick and Carl as some sort of animalistic people. He had to look up a/b/ o on urbandictionary.com because he hadn’t the slightest clue what the fuck that meant. Chandler exited the browser for a brief moment. But then he came back, restoring his most recent session. He had about 60 stories open in all of his tabs. He closed the ones that were him and Emily or him and “other female character”. There was nothing in those stories that he hadn’t already jacked off to by his own imagination. It was the ones with him and Andy or Norman that really interested him. And by Andy and Norman he meant Rick and Daryl as well as the actors who played them. There was all sorts of stuff to be read on the site, and many different combinations. One even had him with both Rick and Daryl. By the end of it, he had about 15 that he was particularly eager to investigate. “Why?” Chandler mused. He hadn’t ever dared think of any of his male coworkers in a sexual manner, and he highly doubted that any of them viewed him sexually. He was only really close with Andy and Norman anyway, and both of them had families already. He had always thought everyone considered him straight because he’d only had girlfriends. What had led these internet people to even begin thinking about him and Andy together, let alone actually waste their time writing it? If all these people were writing this stuff, then obviously it must be important to them, Chandler thought. There must be some merit to it. Maybe. There was only one way to find out why people wrote this shit. He had to read it.   It wasn’t long before Chandler was hooked. Most of the stories were not only well-written, but logical. He particularly liked the ones that were tagged as “canon” because he had acted out those scenes in the show for himself, and he knew what it felt like to be Carl. The stories really captured what he had been conveying, and he was actually starting to see why people could read Rick and Carl’s relationship as romantic. He wasn’t a full-blown shipper or anything, but he could admit to himself that it wasn’t too far-fetched. Fuck it, he even liked the AUs too because they were so fun and different. But what had him the most interested, hands down, was the RPF. The ones with him and Andy. Chandler was embarrassed to admit it, and he wasn’t looking too deeply into his feelings, but he loved the stories. He couldn’t believe that people had actually been so concerned for him after the assault scene. It had moved him to think that some people out there had watched the show, and looked beyond Carl to see the feelings of the boy that played him. People went out of their way to write a story where he was comforted after feeling down. Chandler wasn’t made of stone…he got tears in his eyes. After that, he was pretty much lost to the fan fiction world. He found all of the writers’ Tumblrs, and he crept the tags religiously, wondering when someone would write something new or update a chapter. He was shocked to read how many details of his life were actually written accurately. One of the longer stories talked about Andy taking him under his wing the first day on set, and how the man came to be like a father…that was all true. He hadn’t really tried to give Andy a blow job or anything like the story said, and they weren’t secretly dating, but it was all in good fun. Another story had him in university, living with Andy. That one had made him wistful for a future that actually had potential—if Andy didn’t live in England with his wife and children.   When Chandler saw Andy on set, he found himself lost in the false reality of fan fiction, and it was easy to blur the lines between fact and fiction. After finishing what was already posted of a Work In Progress, Chandler had almost forgotten that he wasn’t actually dating Andy. It was fucking weird. When he was going over the script pages for his scenes as Carl, he had almost said to Andy, “Too bad Carl and Rick don’t kiss in this one.” He couldn’t fucking believe that one. How would he have explained it? Another time he was getting ready to leave set, and he almost texted Andy: “Waiting for you by the car ❤” since they often rode together. He had almost hit send before he realized that only the Chandler of fan fiction was allowed to send Andy hearts. He was beginning to think something was wrong with him. He chalked it up to good writing. These shippers were just too good.     Chandler had been pretty good at catching himself before he said things he wasn’t supposed to be saying, but sometimes his brain-to-mouth filter malfunctioned. One day Norman and Andy were horsing around on set and Chandler walked up to the two men to observe. As soon as Andy realized he had an audience he acted a little more silly with Norman, trying to make Chandler laugh. “Cut it out, Clutterbuck,” Chandler blurted before he could even stop himself. That was a fan fiction Chandler thing, not a real life Chandler thing. Fuck. “That’s new,” Andy said, tilting his head and looking at Chandler oddly. “I didn’t realize you knew my…real, I guess…name.” “Oh, I don’t know,” Chandler scratched his head. “Sorry.” “It’s okay,” Andy commented. “Can’t help what comes from the mouths of punks.” Chandler grinned before his stomach dropped. He stared at Andy curiously. Punk? That was... Chandler shook his head. It was a completely normal word. Andy didn't even know how to work his phone let alone find dirty stories to read on a website that didn't even have an APP. “Whatever, Andy. You’re the punk.” Chandler tried to cover his shock. Andy grinned, but Chandler could tell that the man had something on his mind. Chandler couldn’t tell for sure, but he guessed that he had upset Andy by calling him Clutterbuck. He would have to try not to do that again. He sighed sadly when he reminded himself that it was just a fan fiction thing. Him and Andy weren’t as close in real life.     It wasn’t until Andy asked him what he was reading all the time that he slipped up. “You’re always staring at your phone,” Andy complained one day while they were on a break. “I can tell you’re reading something the way your eyes are darting back and forth. You never read.” Chandler looked up from his phone like a deer in headlights. “What?” “What are you reading?” Andy repeated. “Anything I’d know?” “I doubt it,” Chandler raised his eyebrows and smirked, thinking about how the Chandler and Andy of fan fiction often bonded over reading. “Oh?” Andy asked, interested. The more Chandler hid it, the more he wanted to know. “Yeah,” Chandler responded. “It’s just stories online.” “It doesn’t seem like ‘just’ anything,” Andy insisted. Chandler shrugged, hoping the man would drop it. He couldn’t lie to Andy, and he didn’t want to be found out. Andrew would think he was a freak if he found out that he was reading stories about them being together. Andy was clean-cut, not kinky, and if Chandler was honest he’d thought he was clean-cut too until he got himself off to a story called “Surprise”. He really wanted a butt plug. Chandler laughed at the thought of Norman finding out. The man would probably laugh it off and make it a running joke, but Andy was different. He was more reserved and careful. Chandler didn’t want Andy to find out and be mad. Andy made a grab for it, “Just tell me, and I’ll leave you alone.” “Andy, no,” Chandler whined, holding his phone closer to his chest. “It’s nothing.” “What is it?” Andy laughed, getting more excited, “Sex stories?” “No,” Chandler scoffed, getting up so that he could better defend the phone. Goddamn it why was Andy such a good guesser? Andy faked left and went right, snatching the phone out of Chandler’s hands. “Ha!” Andy cheered victoriously, grinning at Chandler. “No, Andy,” Chandler said with wide eyes. He was panicking. “Please don’t.” Andy frowned, “It can’t be that bad.” Chandler looked down at his feet, tears in his eyes. Andy was going to hate him. He had locked the screen on his phone in self defense, but then he remembered he’d entered Andy’s fingerprint into it one night when they were hanging out. Andy thought it was the coolest thing ever and Chandler called him a dork. Chandler smirked at the thought that the whole scenario would make a cute drabble. “Look, Chandler, if it’s got you that upset, I won’t look at it. I’m sorry,” Andy offered, holding the phone out for the teen. Chandler shrugged, “I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter. It’s dumb.” Andy glanced at the phone, noticing the screen was black. He put his thumb over the home button to get a better hold of the phone, and to his surprise the screen came alive. “I’m sorry, Chandler,” Andy said, “I didn’t know that would open the phone. I forgot,” the man glanced down at the phone again. He had every intention of giving Chandler the phone back before even trying to read it, but his own name caught his eye. Andy continued, “This says my name,” Andy said, squinting at the phone. “I’m sorry, Chandler. If it says my name, I want to see what it is.” “Okay,” Chandler whispered. Fuck. He couldn’t argue with Andy. It was only fair that he get to see what people were saying about him.   Andy scrolled up and down, eyes frozen to the screen. Chandler watched as the man scrolled all the way up to the top of the page where the story tags and summaries always were. He watched Andy’s mouth pop open as he read the dirty words and the synopsis. This one wasn’t the worst he could’ve been caught reading, but it wasn’t the most tame. Chandler wished he could read the man’s mind as his eyes registered “Implied/Referenced Parent-Child Incest". “What is this story? Did you write this?” Andy asked, his expression unreadable. “No,” Chandler responded. “No, I swear. It’s called fan fiction,” he explained dumbly. “People who watch the show write it. They write stories about us.” “Why are they writing stories about you and me?” Andy asked with a frown. “I don’t understand. Do they actually think we’re together?” Chandler felt insulted. What was so wrong with him that Andy would be appalled to be considered romantically involved with him? “No,” Chandler rolled his eyes. “They’re not dumb. They just like both of us, and they know we’re close. I don’t know. It’s just their way of having fun and enjoying the show.” “Oh,” Andy said in understanding. “I just…why do you want to read that?” Chandler’s cheeks flushed. “I was…curious. Just browsing at first. Then I wanted to see if there was any stories about Carl or something. I found—,” Chandler paused. “Well, I found ones with Carl and Rick, and then that was linked to some ones of me and you. I had to know what they were saying. I had to know if someone I knew was writing these and saying true things. After I realized they weren’t, and nobody writing it actually hated me…I kind of started to like them. I don’t know.” Andy handed the phone back to Chandler. “Chandler, doesn’t it bother you? I’m married, and you’re just a teenager. They’re writing that we have sex. You’re not…uncomfortable?” Chandler shrugged, “Like I said, they’re just stories. I mean, yeah it’s kind of weird, but it’s nice that they care. You know? Like, sorry if you don’t want to hear this, but whatever,” Chandler began, “After the scene where you save me from the attack,” Chandler gestured, looking at the floor and then back to Andy, “You know how hard that was for me.” “Of course,” Andy agreed. “I felt terrible watching it.” “Right well, that’s how they—the writers—felt too. They actually wrote a story about you noticing that I was upset and coming over to talk to me about it. They had you comforting me and stuff.” “Chandler, Rick and Carl together…that’s incestuous. And me and you? That’s…I have a wife and a family. You’re basically a kid.” “You think I don’t know that?” Chandler bit. “Rick and Carl aren’t real. The incest isn’t real. It’s just words. And as if you’d ever fuck me, right? That’s not real either, so get off my back.” Chandler had never spoken like that to Andy. Ever. The look on the man’s face was priceless as he took in Chandler’s words. “I—” Andy tried, unable to think of anything. “Is that something you wanted to happen? Me and you?” “Jesus Christ, Andy,” Chandler breathed, shaking his head and snatching the phone out of the man’s hands. “Fuck off. You’re so full of yourself. They’re just stories. I’m not delusional. There’s ones on here about all of us. You and Norman. Rick and Daryl. Glenn and Carl. Rick and Beth. Rick and Hershel. Give me a break.” “You weren’t reading those ones,” Andy commented, not giving it up. He was very uncomfortable with how Chandler was speaking to him, but he couldn’t help but push. He had to see what Chandler’s angle was. What was he getting from these stories. “Oh. My. God,” Chandler complained. “I don’t even know why we’re still talking about this. Why would I read stories that don’t have me in it? I want to see what people are saying.” “Let me guess,” Andy rolled his eyes, “Andy bent the pale boy over the table. Andy couldn’t take his eyes off Chandler. Andy couldn’t wait to fuck Chandler. Andy knew they couldn’t be together but they wanted it anyway.” Andy blushed after he was done speaking. He should not be making such an issue of this, and he definitely shouldn’t be using that language with Chandler. Chandler refused to cry in front of Andy. “Why are you being such a dick about it?” Chandler snapped. “I won’t read them if it makes you feel better. I don’t care. All right? I’m sorry. Okay? I’m really sorry, Andy.” “I’m not mad,” Andy admitted. “It’s just surprising. I didn’t think…. I don’t know. I guess I’m just worried that people will find the stories and think things.” Chandler giggled, “You know? The people who write you have your character down pat.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” Andy asked. “Never mind,” Chandler waved Andy away. “Don’t read them. I promise I won’t read them anymore. Let’s just pretend it didn’t happen.” “Okay,” Andy shrugged, eager to let it drop. He hated himself for being curious. He hated himself for going to Google when he got home, and he hated himself for reading his first fan fiction.   If Andy thought watching himself on screen was so bad that he couldn’t do it, then reading the writing about himself was at least ten times worse. Every sentence made Andy cringe. Not because of poor grammar or plot, or even inaccuracy. Just because he could picture himself doing and saying these things to Chandler, and he felt so embarrassed. So exposed. And to know that the boy had been reading these stories for days? How had Chandler even been able to get through one and still look him in the eye? Andy couldn’t believe the things people had him doing—had Rick doing. Incest. Underage. Fucking. Cheating. Rough sex. Blowjobs. Butt plugs. Marriage. Cross dressing. Wet dreams. Kidnapping. Andy was in absolute disbelief. He couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said to Chandler either. The way he’d guessed what was written in the stories without even having to read them. He’d just thought of those lines off the top of his head, but some of them were actually in the fan fictions word for word. Andy was beyond grateful that Chandler hadn’t caught the slip-up. That Chandler hadn’t realized his predictions were ideas and desires. The poor boy had been too embarrassed. When Andy had mentioned his family, Chandler had seemed insulted. Andy bit his lip thinking about Chandler. The way he’d said “as if you would ever fuck me” sounded like he’d thought about it happening and wouldn’t mind—if only Andy wasn’t saying no. Andy wished he’d found the fan fiction sooner. Fuck, he even wished he’d been the one to write some of it. The only thing wrong Andy could see with any of them was that Chandler was always the one to instigate. Carl was always the one to seek out Rick. In real life it was different. In this world, Andy had lusted over Chandler since he’d gotten his girlfriend. Brianna. Since then all Andy could think about was whether they were fucking or not. What it was like for them being so young. Whether Chandler got hard thinking about her. Whether she was enough for him. Andy was disgusted with himself, but he’d never had reason to confront his dirty thoughts because they’d always been private and unreachable. Now that Chandler was reading and getting thoughts. Now that Andy had new occasion to see the boy in this context. Now that there was something new and tense between them. Andy didn’t feel like his thoughts were safe from judgement. He needed to confront his emotions and either stow them or act on them. Like he’d been telling Chandler, he had a wife; he had a family. Diving in headfirst with Chandler over some dirty stories had more implications than he liked to admit. Cheating. Possible divorce. Not-quite statutory rape. Sexual relations with a co-worker. Sexual relations with another male. Just enough to make Andy’s head spin. Unfortunately, the only person Andy ever really spoke to about the deep stuff was Chandler, and that would be kind of awkward. The man grinned to himself, finally joining Chandler in the realization that their life already was a fan fiction.                                                                               ***** There's a Honey ***** Chapter Summary Andy and Chandler continue their individual crises. Chandler notices that Andy is behaving oddly. Chapter Notes This takes place in September 2015 while they are filming Season 6. At this point in time, Another Attraction was only at Chapter 44. So in the story, that's all that Chandler's read so far. See the end of the chapter for more notes Chandler had promised that he wouldn't read any more fan fiction. He'd said the words to Andy's face. That being said...Andy hadn't really responded or agreed that it would ameliorate the situation. Chandler had only really made the promise to appease Andy, but Andy hadn't asked for that. It only took a couple days before Chandler was clicking the familiar URLs. Coincidentally, his email invite to the Archive website had arrived. He could now make an account. Create bookmarks. Subscribe to the authors. He made a generic username and immediately subscribed to all the Works in Progress within the Carl Grimes/Rick Grimes tag and the Andrew Lincoln/Chandler Riggs tag. He visited the long WIP again. There weren't many about him and Andy which kind of sucked. Those were his favourite. As much as he liked Another Attraction, the writer took so goddamn long between updates that he was beginning to think she was dead or something. It had been over a month. Plus, he was still 11 in that story, and far away from consummating his and Andy's relationship. He was 16 now. He had a girlfriend. He was far away from being a goofy kid just discovering masturbation. On the contrary, he was quite good at it now, and Andy hadn't had to teach him at all. Chandler made sure he only read the stories on his laptop since his confrontation with Andy. He didn't need Andy coming up to him on set and acting all weird if he had his phone in his hand. To be honest, he didn't really know if Andy would ever bring it up again. Chandler kind of wondered if Andy would even want to be his friend anymore, but they'd been through too much to end their friendship for no reason.   Chandler had just finished sending Brianna a snap to maintain their 145 day streak when Andy decided to approach. "Hey," the man greeted, trying too hard to be casual. Chandler appreciated that he didn't have to chase Andy down and apologize or something. He had no reason to apologize. "Hey, Andy," Chandler said, squinting up at the man. He took his earbuds out to be polite. Andy had his out, but they were looped around his ears--they kind of looked like dangly earrings. Andy nodded, assured that things weren't going to be weird. He took a seat next to Chandler on the ground. They were on the Alexandria set, so it was relatively clean. Chandler didn't know how to break the ice. "How are your scenes going today?" Andy huffed, "Season 6. Not a whole heck of a lot going on, but they're going well. You?" "Ha," Chandler laughed. "I'm surprised they don't make me watch Judith between shots. Not really sure why I'm even here today." Andy frowned. Chandler shrugged, "Whatever." His phone lit up. Brianna had responded to his snap. Andy was close enough to glance over at the phone screen. "Snapchat. That's the one where you post your pictures?" Chandler grinned, thankful that the notifications on his lockscreen hid the background, "I guess. You're probably thinking of Instagram. Snapchat is where you exchange snapshots with someone that expire as soon as they open them. Remember the face swap we did? That's Snapchat." "You and your girlfriend send pictures that way?" Andy asked, smiling fondly at the memory of him and Chandler swapping faces. His smile dimmed when he said the word girlfriend. "Yeah. Our streak's pretty high now," Chandler sighed. "It'd be kind of cool if you got it." Andy scratched his head. "I don't know if I could handle it. I have no idea what streak means." Chandler didn't say anything. "We could always text. That's a bit more in my league." Chandler's stomach flipped at the thought of texting regularly with Andy. The most they ever texted was once a month. If Andy got Snapchat...they could see each other every day. Keep in touch even when Andy was in the UK. Chandler felt like a kid again. Having a crush on someone who could never and would never love him back. What's worse is that other people were rooting for him. Everyone who gave kudos and commented on the stories of him...They all believed it was possible. They all wanted him and Andy to be happy together. It seemed like Andy was the only one who wasn't in the loop. Andy pulled out his phone to check the time. He pressed the home button to light it up. Chandler thought he was imagining it at first. "Hey, that's us," Chandler said. "Nothing gets by you," Andy said with a laugh. He put his phone away quickly. Chandler rolled his eyes. "I'm just surprised you would have a picture of yourself as your wallpaper." Andy frowned, "It's a good picture." "Yeah, but you don't like the way you look. You don't like to see yourself." "How'd you know that?" Andy asked quietly. "I just pay attention," Chandler admitted. He'd seen it and read it plenty of times.  "Well what's yours, Riggs?" Andy asked. He'd learned his lesson about pressing Chandler in phone-related matters, but he couldn't help but ask. "You're going to laugh," Chandler shook his head. Andy winked, "Probably." Chandler cleared away his notifications so the photo came into view. "Yours is us too?" Andy frowned. "Are you kidding?" "No," Chandler said shortly. "Why? Is that wrong?" "Well, no," Andy backtracked. "Just...your girlfriend. I figured you'd want one of you guys together." Chandler shrugged, "Hers isn't." Andy didn't say anything. "I could say the same," Chandler realized, "You don't want one of your family? Your kids." Andy nodded, "I don't have photos on my phone, really. And I can't find pictures of my family on Google images. Good ones, anyway. There were lots of you and me." "Oh," Chandler responded, trying not to look hurt. He'd been reading too much into it. There was no intention behind Andy's pictures. He just didn't have any of the people he really loved. He wanted to change his background as soon as possible. He wanted to be petty. Brianna couldn't be bothered to have a background with him, and Andy only did because it was his last resort. "Hey, love. Don't look so sad," Andy said, reaching out to touch Chandler's face. "I didn't mean it that way." Andy snatched his hand away almost as soon as he'd extended it. "I--" Chandler stared at the man in disbelief. What in God's name was that? Now he really must be confusing fiction and reality. "Andy?" Chandler frowned. "Sorry, Chandler," Andy rushed. "It's cool. Just unexpected. Uh...yeah. Don't worry about the picture. I'm not offended." "Good. Good. I just meant that it was convenient, is all. Not that, you know, I wouldn't have had it if I could've had something else...You know?" Chandler smirked and furrowed his brows. "Thanks, I guess." He'd never seen Andy act like this. Ever. Not in the six years he'd known him. Flustered and weird. Andy nodded brusquely, pulling out his phone, "I think I have exactly four pictures on my phone. This one, from the San Diego convention in July." "This one. My background." "Let's see. Oh, and a blurry picture of the sunrise. And a blurry picture of a dessert." Chandler raised his eyebrows at Andy incredulously. He was at a loss for words. Andy had four pictures in his camera roll and exactly half of them featured him. It was possibly the cutest thing he'd ever seen. "What?" Andy huffed. "You think I'm an old man? A loser who can't operate technology?" Andy was only half joking. Chandler frowned, "Actually, no. I was thinking that you're the coolest person I've ever met." "Oh," Andy composed himself, "I guess you're all right too." He'd wanted to call Chandler punk or say something funny. Something meaningful. But he'd already slipped up once. He'd wanted to kick himself in the face after he'd referred to Chandler as "love". Andy couldn't believe he'd been so careless. He'd given Chandler shit for reading the stories that he was now devouring daily. He would have a lot of explaining to do if Chandler noticed his slip- ups. On one hand, he thought, it could be so easy to take his and Chandler's relationship further. Obviously Chandler had an interest in him on some level since he was reading long, sexually explicit stories on the matter. But, Andy had no choice but to take Chandler's words at face value. He'd said that he was just reading them to see how accurately people were portraying him. Andy figured that the boy must be sexually curious, at least. Maybe there was no further explanation than that. After all, Chandler had a girlfriend, and he knew that Andy had a wife. Even if one or both of them wanted it to happen. It probably couldn't. Andy couldn't help but wonder if Chandler reading the stories had more to do with exploring his sexuality in general than with exploring his sexual relationship with a specific person. It didn't make sense though; if Chandler thought he was gay or bi or even just curious...he could've read about himself with anybody. There were plenty of pairings to choose from. Andy couldn't help but hold onto the hope that Chandler picking him out of everybody was deliberate.   "I better get going," Andy said after a moment. "When are you up next?" Chandler shrugged. "Could be ten minutes. Could be five hours. They don't tell me much." Andy sighed. He hadn't wanted to mention anything, but he saw the way Chandler was handled on set. It pissed him off. Chandler got up from the ground. His ass was starting to get numb from sitting on the pavement. He wanted to go back to his trailer. He pulled out his phone, unlocking it so he could respond to his snaps. "Supposedly we finish filming at 6," Andy began. "Did you want to go get something to eat after?" Chandler looked up in confusion. He'd expected Andy to walk away after he pulled out his phone. Usually the man didn't stick around to talk too long. He liked to get into the zone between scenes. Chandler pressed his thumb to the circle on the Snapchat camera. He wanted this memory. "Sorry, Andy. What did you say?" He had heard him word for word, but he wanted to hear it again. It wasn't every day that your crush asked you on a date. Chandler angled his phone a bit so he could catch all of Andy in the frame. "Did you want to get something to eat after we get done filming?" Andy repeated. He was practically glaring at the phone. Chandler was distracted by his teenage girlfriend. He had more important things to do with his time than come out for dinner, Andy thought bitterly. "Yeah. That'd be cool," Chandler responded, still capturing video. "Did you have anywhere in mind?" "I don't really know too many restaurants around here. Not a native," Andy joked. "I'll have to think of something," Chandler agreed. "Just text me if I'm not around. I'll meet you at your trailer." Andy smiled, obviously pleased. He wasn't sure why he and Chandler hadn't done this sooner.  He and Chandler spoke a lot on set, and they'd confided in each other too many times to count. Things were different though. There was a flirtatious and forbidding vibe to their chats now. They were on the verge of too light. Maybe all the small talk was because they were avoiding a deeper truth. They no longer knew where they stood with each other. Andy had never allowed himself to see Chandler in romantic light before Chandler got a girlfriend. As much as the premise of Another Attraction intrigued him, he didn't think he would've been attracted to Chandler at 12 or 13. Well, it was less to do with attraction, and more to do with reality. He cared deeply for the boy and he loved him like family. Beyond thinking of Chandler as cute or sweet, Andy hadn't really considered being attracted to the boy. If Andy had to narrow it down to a date, a date where he could've said that his friendship with Chandler had become something more, he would say the fall of 2013. He and Chandler had filmed After together, and he'd never experienced anything quite like that before or since. Chandler's energy and maturity on set made him look like anything but a kid. He would've been 14. Now, the kid was barely 16. He'd had a girlfriend for a couple of months. Andy's attraction had gone from a quiet, easy-to-ignore twinge in his stomach to an unavoidable burn when Chandler had come to him with the news. He ached for that boy, and now some little girl got to have him. It didn't feel right. He didn't like it. The only thing that had been able to alleviate his pain since he'd first learned of Brianna was seeing the kind of stories Chandler was reading. The fan fiction changed everything. It showed Andy that Chandler wasn't quite as out- of-reach as he'd previously thought. Andy decided it was time to make his move and test the waters. Was Chandler's reading material just innocent curiosity? Or did it mean exactly what it looked like--he was attracted to Andrew? Andy wanted to get to know Chandler better...He wanted to be to Chandler what his character was to the boy in the story. Or at least, he wanted to know if it was an option. Chapter End Notes grimesobcest.tumblr.com ***** Do I Wanna Know? ***** Chapter Summary Chandler and Andy have their dinner together. Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes "Do you like milkshakes?" Andy asked as he perused the menu. He knew he was getting a little too loose with his hints, but it was getting fun to see the momentary expressions of panic on Chandler's face. Of course, milkshakes were an easy allusion to make since fictional Chandler didn't have blood in his body--he had liquid ice cream. Andy knew this. Chandler knew this. But Chandler didn't know that Andy knew. Chandler shrugged, looking at Andy oddly. "I do. Once in a while." "Hmm," Andy mused. Interesting how the devil was in the details. He was sort of curious to see how much Another Attraction got right...it would be neat if he could narrow it down to a percentage. When he'd read it, he felt a connection with many of the interactions and exchanges between his and Chandler's characters, but enough of the story was so different that he could see it was fiction--there was no fly living on his walls. Besides, he'd never been on the receiving end of an awkward, attempted Birthday-Blowjob. God, that would've been mortifying. "What are you gonna get to drink?" Chandler smirked devilishly, "A Diet Coke?" Andy had to give Another Attraction a point. He fucking loved Diet Coke. "Shut up," Andy laughed. "Andy, I just realized something," Chandler said seriously. "What?" "If I don't get a milkshake, how am I going to bring the boys to the yard?" "What?" Andy chuckled. "Is that one of those...memes? I have no clue what in God's name you're talking about." Chandler laughed uncontrollably, "Oh my God, Andy. I love you." Andy was appeased. Chandler shifted awkwardly.   Chandler couldn't wait until he had a burger in his mouth so he could be silent. He hated to admit it, but he couldn't wait until Andy's mouth was otherwise occupied, either. That man asked way too many questions, and he was just...ugh. Chandler hated how adorable the man was. He was such a dork. It pissed him off. Andy nursed his way through his first Diet Coke, and then he was onto refills. "Oh man, I tip no matter what," Andy began, "But when they bring me my drink before the other one's even gone? That's service." "Nice," Chandler commented, avoiding Andy's eyes. He felt his phone go off, and he was dying to answer it. He just hated doing it in front of Andy because he wasn't like other people. Andy was never scrolling his phone or texting anyone. He considered it a dis. Chandler couldn't resist. He wanted to check his notifications. He could feel Andy's eyes boring into his soul with judgment. "I know, I know," Chandler said. Andy grinned, "Kids today," he said in an old-man voice. "Technology." "Oh my God, Andy. How many times do you have to make me start my sentences with "oh my God"?" "Depends," Andy winked. Chandler raised his phone and took a picture of Andy via Snapchat. Brianna wanted to know where he was. "Look, it's not bad," Chandler showed Andy when he complained. Andy rolled his eyes. "Who are you sending that to?" Chandler didn't really want to say. "Brianna?" Andy guessed. Chandler nodded. Brianna responded back almost instantly. "Omggg he's 10/10." Chandler noted the tongue and heart eye emojis she included. Chandler frowned, closing the app in annoyance. He wasn't sure what part of it annoyed him more--his own girlfriend talking about how hot other guys were, or the fact that it was Andy she was talking about. Andy was his. His friend, Chandler amended. But still, his. He couldn't help but analyze everything he and Andy said together as if he was a shipper. He kept thinking about great ways to describe their conversation and Andy's expressions. Chandler smiled when he thought about how the writers and readers would react if they could see him now and how far gone he was for Andy. He'd never left Brianna on read before. Andy would never understand what a romantic gesture that was, but Chandler saw it for what it was. He'd left his own girlfriend on read in Andy's honour. That was true love. Andy was making him nervous more than anything because he hadn't brought up the subject of fan fiction. It was still unspoken between them, and Chandler wasn't sure how to feel about it. He couldn't tell if Andy just felt awkward mentioning it, or if he'd truly gotten over it and didn't feel the need to mention it. It didn't help that Andy kept inadvertently referencing fan fiction all night. When Andy had mentioned the milkshakes, Chandler was almost positive that he was drawing from Another Attraction, but the man had been so casual about it...plus it didn't make sense for Andy to read that stuff; the man barely used the internet--how would he even know where to find fan fiction?   Andy finished his food first. He watched Chandler in amusement as he tried to catch up. "You eat slow," Andy commented, sipping his third Diet Coke. "Yeah, well it's not hard to finish first when you just eat a salad, Andy. I'm working on food for two people here." Andy chuckled, "It's amazing how you stay so thin." Chandler rolled his eyes, "Whatever." "You and Norman are so alike. You two just pile it back all day... I even look at a cheeseburger and it's all down hill." Chandler raised his eyebrows, "You're ridiculous. You're way better looking than me or Norman. Obviously your salads are doing something." "I thought you liked Norman," Andy frowned. Chandler looked up from his plate in confusion, "Well yeah, he's cool, but I don't think he's hot or something." "No?" Andy pressed. "Why, did you think I did?" Chandler asked incredulously. "I kind of have a girlfriend." Andy pursed his lips, "I could've sworn you had a crush. I--. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I read things wrong." Chandler laughed, "Yeah, dude. No crush here. No offense to Norman." Andy had made deliberate references to both major and minor plot lines of the story, but this had been an accident. He had honestly integrated this scenario into his reality. He would've bet money that Chandler had a thing for Norman. Andy remained silent. He would have to review the fan fictions he'd read again. Maybe if he knew them better it would be easier to differentiate fact from fiction. But, maybe Chandler had only read the stories casually to begin with. Maybe Chandler had been honest when he said he only read them to see what they said. Maybe he didn't remember he loved milkshakes, or Norman, or kisses on the cheek, or calling Andy 'Clutterbuck'. Andrew sighed. Maybe he had blown this whole thing way out of proportion.   "Well," Chandler smiled wryly, "In the st--" Andy waited for Chandler to finish. "Nevermind. You probably don't want to hear about it. I know it makes you uncomfortable." Andy shrugged, "In the stories?" He guessed. Chandler nodded, "Yeah, forget it." "It's okay," Andy encouraged. On the outside, he was calm and curious. Inside, he was foaming at the mouth for Chandler to continue. He'd been waiting for this all night. "One of things about my character in that story  Another Attraction. The one about..." Chandler scratched his head and looked away, "...us. I have a crush on Norman in it." "I guess it got some stuff wrong," Andy joked. "That's good, isn't it? Now you know it isn't someone close to you writing it." Chandler smirked, "It got a lot of stuff right, though. To be honest." "Oh really?" Andy took a sip of his drink. "Like what?" Chandler leaned forward unconsciously, "You know how I got you that green John Deere hat?" "Yes, I still have it." "Right, well somehow the writer knew that." Andy smirked, "Seriously? That's kind of cool." Chandler inclined his head, mostly in disbelief. Was Andy making fun of him now? Why the sudden change in attitude. Chandler couldn't believe the words that came out of Andy's mouth next. Andy sighed, "Listen, Chandler. I owe you an apology." Andy continued, "When I first saw what you were looking at...I was taken aback. I wasn't angry. I know I didn't react kindly, but I want you to know that I wasn't judging you or anything. I understand why you were curious, and I'm sorry I made you feel bad about it." "Thanks, Andy. I appreciate it," Chandler said simply. He had no idea how else to respond to that. It made him love Andy all the more. "Out of curiosity," Andy continued, "Did it mention my family at all?" He knew it didn't, but he wanted to hear Chandler say it. He wanted to gauge the boy's reaction. "Er, yeah," Chandler admitted. "In the story you got divorced. It says Gael's name, but it never mentioned Matilda or Arthur." Andy nodded solemnly. It was kind of sad to think about a world where his family didn't exist. At first, it seemed harsh to just write his wife and children out of existence,  but when he thought about it further, it made more sense. He spent seven months of the year in the US filming while his family remained in the UK. He spent more time away from home than he did at home. It made him feel like a stranger. A tourist. It wasn't an excuse, and it wasn't enough to justify even the consideration of cheating, but he couldn't escape the truth: he spent more time with Chandler on set than with his own wife. The relationship was different, of course. He and Chandler were best friends, but Andy was fighting romantic loneliness on two continents. In the USA he was a married man with no wife to share his bed. In the UK, he was starting to feel the same way. He couldn't connect properly with his wife properly when he spent so much time away. He'd never considered cheating before. Andy was completely against it. But looking at Chandler and seeing the promise of their bond...he felt like he'd already cheated. Andy went through the rest of the evening on autopilot. He hoped Chandler didn't notice. Andy didn't check back in until Chandler was getting out of his car. Apparently he was dropping the boy off back at home. If he was asked to retrace the route to the Rigg's, he wouldn't have been able to. "See you tomorrow, Andy," Chandler said resignedly. Andy nodded back in confusion.   Chandler tried to shake off Andy's attitude, but it was difficult. Of course the man had gotten pouty after he'd found out that his character didn't have a wife or kids. So typical. Chandler had to roll his eyes. It was just a fucking story. Everything had been going well up to that point. He regretted bringing up the fan fiction. Andy might've said he was over it, but Chandler could see that his apology was superficial. For some reason, the idea of the story was really getting to Andy. Chandler didn't see that it was guilt.   Despite the leftover sting from the botched evening, Chandler was still in a good mood. He wasted no time going to his bedroom and getting on his laptop to check the Grimescest tag. Nothing new meant he'd have to reread a favourite. Chandler fell asleep after touching himself in ways his character didn't know how to yet. It was too easy to think of Andy. Especially because the Andy of his reality wasn't as nice as he was in the story. Chandler knew that his Andy would break rules. His Andy didn't care what people thought, either. Chandler had to laugh at his fictitious self. So naive and virginal. So needy. Chandler had known what a blowjob was when he was 11, and he wouldn't have dreamed of attempting one as a birthday present. But it was fun to pretend within his mind. In his imagination, he didn't need to be careful. He could create an Andy that was a blend of the real and the fake. One that belonged to him. Chandler trembled at the sinful thought--kneeling before Andy at 11, tiny, naive, and completely unaware as he went for the man's belt. Unlike in the story, nobody had to stop. This was all in his mind and anything could happen. Chapter End Notes grimesobcest.tumblr.com ***** Anobrain ***** Chapter Summary Chandler and Andy film a scene for season 6. Andy has an important question for Chandler. Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes All Chandler could think about while he was on set was Andy's attitude. Their dinner had been going so well, and the man had completely shut down before Chandler even had a chance to relax. Chandler was curious to see how Andy was going to behave the next day. Was he still going to be moody and reserved? Chandler hoped not. It really put a damper on his fantasies. Chandler had a sliver of hope that Andy was starting to open up to him more than he ever had before. Hope that maybe that meant something...But that hope had dissipated once he realized that Andy would never leave his family for a loser like him. Chandler had always been happy with their relationship before the fan fiction he read showed him what he was missing. He and Andy had always gotten along, and they were best friends on set. That was good enough for Chandler, and he'd never questioned it. After reading Another Attraction, he saw that fiction was sometimes better. Andy gave him rides, knew his parents, confided in him, had sleepovers with him, and wanted to be around him constantly in the story. He had a lot of that in his real relationship with Andy...but it was on an entirely different level. Chandler's heart ached for a relationship like the ones that fan fiction writers gave him. He'd never realized how many romantics there were in the world. He was a romantic too, and nobody else seemed to be into it. His own girlfriend acted indifferent toward him. He was really tempted to message the author of Another Attraction and get some much-needed assistance. He wanted to know what the readers saw between him and Andy. What made them have hope when he was losing his? Because the way Andy was acting made it seem like they weren't even going to be friends anymore, but these people online kept on writing their stories as if all was peachy. Even beyond that, he wanted to know what the shippers saw in Grimescest. Obviously The Walking Dead was never going to put that into the show, so what made them care about it so much? He knew it wasn't just sick, incest-obsessed perverts writing it, otherwise they wouldn't have made stories without sex or stories where Rick and Carl weren't related. Above all, the way they portrayed the relationship transcended incest kink and had more to do with the idea of soulmates and pure love. Chandler wanted that in his own life. He didn't want to have to read about it.   Chandler couldn't afford to have his head out of the game. He had a big scene to film, and there wasn't room for anything else. Figured that when he felt the most detached from reality, he had to plunge himself further into fiction. Sometimes acting wasn't good for the head. He wanted to think about his own problems, not Carl's. He had plenty of time to think about his own problems, though. The makeup he needed on his eye was extensive. He spent quite a while in the chair having half of his sight taken away from him. He usually closed both of his eyes when he had makeup done so he could check out. He hated seeing the makeup team up in his face. He felt like a creature under examination when they got too close. Chandler opened his eye without thinking when he heard Andy enter the room. He could've lost an eye for real if there'd been a brush or pencil too close to him. After the fear of that realization dissipated, he felt nervous. What was Andy doing here? He'd already been in make-up. He'd been working all afternoon with the extras, filming a huge fight scene. Normally the didn't need to touch up make-up for that kind of thing because the sweat and dirt that accumulated naturally made the make-up look even more realistic. When Andy came into view, he could actually see proof. The man looked like a complete wreck. His hair was almost soaked with sweat, and he had fake blood all the fuck over him. He looked disgusting. And hot, Chandler decided. Andy smiled brightly as soon as he caught Chandler's eye. The smile made Chandler's heart hurt. How could the man look at him with such joy and love when they didn't belong to each other? "Hey," Chandler greeted. "What's up?" "Came to see how you were doing," Andy explained. "It's crazy out there. Danai and the rest of us are all waiting on you." They'd already filmed the part where he actually got shot with Alexandra, Austin, and Major. Now was where Denise saved Carl in the infirmary. Chandler thought it was funny how the scene was supposed to be all about him, but the dummy would be in the scene for just as much time as he would. Pretty much summed up his entire career with the show, he thought bitterly. Chandler raised his eyebrows, "You nervous?" "No," Andy shook his head. "I'm excited. I can't wait to see you." "Why?" Chandler said reflexively. He looked around at the retreating make-up artists. They were usually pretty good about backing off for a few seconds if a conversation started. Andy looked at Chandler like he was insane. What did he mean "Why?"? "Because you're going to nail it," Andy said. "Obviously." Chandler couldn't help but smile. The confidence Andy had in him was like a line from a fan fiction. He noted bitterly that the author had gotten another thing right. His complete lack of confidence and insecurity. He hated that. "Well, I'm almost done," Chandler sighed. "Then you can see me make magic." Andy nodded, "Good. It'll be just like season two. Except you're a lot bigger now," he grinned. Chandler rolled his eyes. "Can you handle all of this?" He asked suggestively, gesturing to his body. Andy only smirked. Of course he could. Chandler was four inches shorter than him, and at least thirty pounds less. "You bet your ass, Riggs," Andy joked. He started walking away so that Chandler could get his face finished.     Chandler sat in his trailer for an hour after the scene. He needed to be alone. The scene hadn't taken that long to film, really. Less time than the make-up took. They had Andy carry the Carl dummy through the crowd of extras, which was a bit odd for Chandler to watch. He couldn't find it in him to be jealous of the dummy for getting his screen time because it was just so cool to observe. He was in the scene for as long as it took Rick to get from the doorway to the operating table. He didn't even have any lines. Pretty simple stuff. All he had to do was look unconscious and hope that Andy didn't drop his ass. He'd been relieved when the director had cut. It wasn't like he was distraught. It had been nothing like the night he'd filmed A. He wasn't sure what was wrong, really. The best way he could put it was that something was missing. He felt lonely and detached from reality. Chandler just wasn't happy anymore. Things had been going great with Brianna...now they just weren't. He and Andy had had a clearly defined relationship, but now things were changing thanks to his interest in fan fiction--they were starting to get more complicated. He was into the acting, but barely getting any screen time. Chandler sighed. He was only 16, and he already felt like a middle-aged man. So many disappointments and responsibilities to deal with.   Chandler hadn't ever thought twice about his relationship with Andy, and now he was hyperaware of the man. It was exhausting to be so self conscious. It was completely out of character for him to be like that with Andy. He felt insecure and unsure. He hated that feeling. Before he'd read the fan fiction, everything had been easy breezy. Now he felt like he was missing something. He felt like he was on the verge of something great with Andy, but the man had to meet him half way...and it just wasn't ever going to happen. He hated feeling helpless. Having the man hold him so intimately during the scene had been devastating to him. Andy had held him so tightly against his chest. The worry in his voice had been heartbreaking. Chandler had felt so jealous and hurt in that moment. Jealous of himself? His character? He wanted Andy to care about him the way Rick cared about Carl. When Andy had laid him on the prop table, he'd let himself dream. He let himself imagine Andy carrying him through the doorway and laying him on down on a bed. He imagined Andy caring for him if he'd been hurt. Chandler wanted it so bad that he felt physically ill. Chandler almost shit himself when he heard a knock at the trailer door. He'd been so lost in thought. "Yo," he called apathetically. "You may enter." Andy walked in with his eye brows raised, "Yo, home dog. Wassup?" "Oh my God," Chandler laughed easily. It was actually embarrassing how quickly his mood turned around in Andy's presence. Andy plopped next to Chandler on the loveseat. "I see you have two eyes again," he commented. "Oh," Chandler acknowledged. "Yeah, I got the go ahead to take off the makeup." Andy nodded, "You did great, Chandler. As usual." He slapped a hand on Chandler's knee. "So did the dummy," Chandler joked. "But thanks." He stared at Andy's hand on his leg with supreme focus. It shouldn't have meant as much as it did to him. It would've been so easy if they were together...all he would've had to do was put his hand over top of Andy's. They could've gone home together. That was for another world though.   Andy was quiet. "But, hey," Chandler said after a while. Coincidentally he started talking just as Andy removed his hand. "You were the real star. I saw the recorded footage of you taking on the extras...you must be exhausted." Andy smirked, "Kind of unrealistic of a scene, if you ask me." Chandler scoffed, "Rick is a badass. Plus, if he lost Carl, he would be devastated. He's running on emotion right now. Carl's everything to him," Chandler explained. "His whole purpose for fighting. For existing. He's going crazy right now." Andy inclined his head, "Yeah. You're exactly right. That's how I've always seen it." Chandler nodded resolutely. "Rick bit out someone's neck for his son...he goes a little crazy for Carl." Chandler had a sudden craving for a good Grimescest fic. Maybe later... Andy laughed, "Do you think Carl would do the same for him?" Carl turned to face Andy on the loveseat, "Uhm, hello. Did you even watch After? Oh wait...I forgot," Chandler said, "You don't watch the show." Andy shook his head fondly. "Carl was prepared to die if Rick turned. He completely gave up. Carl needs Rick too." Andy watched Chandler defend their characters' relationship with complete attention. Hearing Chandler get so worked up about it pleased him. So the boy really did like the fan fictions...he wasn't just reading them out of curiosity or experimentation. He liked what was going on.   "Well, speaking of you needing me," Andy joked, "I have a question." Chandler straightened up immediately, his stomach clenching. Oh God. What was it? "My birthday is coming up," Andy began. "Monday, actually." Chandler nodded, breathing in smoothly. As if he didn't know that. He'd already gotten Andy a gift. "I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me on the Saturday. Or the Sunday if you're busy?" Andy tried. "Why me?" Chandler blurted. Andy laughed in a self-depreciating sort of way, "I understand if you're busy." "No, no. Of course I'll come over. I just--" Chandler searched for the words. "How come you don't have plans with Norman or, I don't know. Someone else? Why would you want to hang out with me. I'm not old enough to do anything fun." Andy looked at Chandler almost vulnerably, "Because I want to spend time with you. We've hardly ever hung out off set, and I don't think it makes sense. We have fun together. I like spending time with you," he shrugged. "Okay," Chandler said skeptically, "Okay, cool." He couldn't believe his luck. This was possibly the best thing that had ever happened to him. He'd been pining over Andy for weeks to no avail, and now that man was finally showing signs. Maybe this was in. Maybe Andy would try to seduce him in private, or maybe Andy would let him have some alcohol, and he'd finally have the guts to try something. Oh...the possibilities. Chapter End Notes grimesobcest.tumblr.com ***** My Obsession ***** Chapter Summary Andy's Birthday. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes When Chandler got to Andy's house, he wasn't really sure what to expect. He already felt like he knew what it looked like, but that was just the reality he'd created in his own imagination. Although he was thrilled and somewhat nervous to visit Andy in his home, he could see it was bittersweet. He'd never been there before. Another reminder that this was real life. "Do you want your present now or later?" Chandler asked, walking into the dining room hesitantly. He put his back pack on one of the chairs at the table. This house was a lot bigger than the one he read about. He wondered if Andy got lonely in it. Andy leaned on the counter, looking through the breakfast nook to where Chandler stood in the dining room. Andy said, "You didn't have to," with his mouth, but Chandler could see the excitement in his eyes. "Later, then," Chandler teased. Andy nodded, "Acceptable." Chandler shook his head, "So, it's your birthday... What do you want to do?" Andy shrugged, "Want to watch a movie?" "Sure," Chandler knocked his hand on the table once. "Do we need to stream it, or do you have DVDs." Before Andy even answered, Chandler realized it was a stupid question. "DVDs?" Andy grinned sheepishly, "I picked up a few so you could have some options."   Chandler followed Andy out into the living room. Yeah, much bigger than in the story. Andy's living room had a huge sectional couch, two reading chairs, and a flatscreen TV that rivaled his own. "Do you own this place?" Chandler asked. "Yeah, I rented for the first couple of seasons, but it was too stressful to deal with the property manager. I bought this a couple years ago." Chandler nodded, "It's really nice, Andy." "Thank you. I figured I'm here for more than half the year...might as well settle down." Andy handed Chandler a stack of DVDs. All of them were unopened. They still had the price stickers on them. "Oh my God, you got Interstellar?" Chandler asked excitedly, already ripping off the cellophane. A definite must. "Yeah," Andy scratched his head, "I remember you said you really liked it. Thought it would be a good choice." Chandler looked at Andy soberly. He remembered that?   Andy sat on the part of the sectional that extended out towards the TV. He was perpendicular to Chandler who sat with his legs extended along the back of the sectional. "This couch rocks," Chandler said, snuggling into the fabric. Andy smiled, pleased that Chandler was comfortable in his home. "You have any blankets?" Chandler wondered. He liked to burrow when he watched movies. "Yeah," Andy said. He got up to leave the room. Chandler wasn't sure why the man didn't just keep throw blankets all around the couch to be used whenever. Maybe that was just his mom though. Andy came back with two comforters. One folded up, and one just a messy ball of material. "Sorry," Andy laughed, draping the blankets over the couch. "I had to take one right off my bed. I don't really have any other blankets." "Don't you get cold?" Chandler wondered in awe. "I need blankets everywhere." "Nah," Andy shook his head. "I get pretty hot." Chandler tried to look calm. He'd figured one blanket was for him and the other was for Andy, but they were both for him. He reached casually for the one that wasn't folded. The one straight off the man's bed. He tried to smell it discretely before wrapping it around himself. Dear mother of God it smelled delicious. It was Andy's deodorant, cologne, and natural scent all in one. There were faint hints of his laundry detergent too. Holy fuck, he could live in that blanket. Andy noticed, pleased once more that Chandler was comfortable. He tried not to get too excited about Chandler's choice of blanket.   Andy couldn't help but look over at Chandler periodically. He couldn't let the boy fade into the background as he watched the movie. He needed to keep checking the boy's expression. See if he was laughing at the funny parts. See if he was crying at the sad parts. He'd never seen Chandler so engrossed before. He must've really liked this movie. Andy had to admit it was pretty good, but he probably would've enjoyed it more if he'd been alone. He was too busy watching Chandler. "Ugh, the ending's perfect," Chandler mused when the twist was revealed. "Wow." Andy had to agree. Wow was the word that came to mind when he looked at Chandler. He wanted to kiss him. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just hold the back of the boy's head and press their lips together. It would be so easy. Andy sighed. As much as he regretted not having Chandler over sooner, it was probably for the best. Chandler was 16 now, and if he'd been any younger, Andy would've felt awful for even thinking anything. But 16 didn't really bother him. Chandler already had a girlfriend, after all. He was old enough to fool around with her...why not him?   Chandler was loathe to extract himself from the comforter. He was so cozy and warm. Enveloped in Andy's scent. He felt a little drowsy. "Are you hungry?" Andy asked. Chandler grinned, "Yes sir." "Okay, wanna get some take away?" Andy suggested. "Andy, your British is showing," Chandler teased. "Oh," Andy laughed. "Did my accent slip?" Chandler shook his head, getting up from the couch, "I don't want to be a dick and correct you...I was just teasing." "Well how about I ditch Rick for the day," Andy laughed. "You don't have to," Chandler said, "Is it weird that I'm used to your fake voice? I've only ever heard your British accent at cons." Andy sat at the edge of his seat, bracing himself before standing up. "I feel like I spend too much time as Rick. Sometimes I forget that it's not my real voice." Chandler walked to stand in front of Andy, "Then be British for a day. I'm sure you'll be able to get right back into it on Monday." Andy stood up, not quite towering over Chandler, but still in his space. Chandler stepped away after a moment, going to fetch his wallet and phone from the table.   "Do you feel like walking?" Andy asked. "Sure," Chandler agreed. So many firsts. He'd never been on a walk with Andy before. "Did you like the movie?" Chandler asked when Andy was finished locking the door. "It was spectacular," Andy said. "Truly.  Heartbreaking, though." "Honestly," Chandler agreed. It would've been nothing to slide his hand into Andy's. It would've been easy. Natural. "I couldn't imagine it. Seeing your child die before you? Even if they did live a long life...The pain." "Yeah," Chandler agreed. "And not seeing your dad for years?" "My kids would probably get over it," Andy laughed. Chandler frowned, "Don't say that. You're a great dad...they'd be devastated." Andy shrugged. "I wouldn't get over it if you disappeared," Chandler tried. "Thanks, son," Andy laughed, angling his torso to the side so he could nudge Chandler. Chandler sighed. He felt like he and Andy were dancing to different tunes. Constantly saying too much without saying anything. Where did he stand with the man? What was this sudden interest the man had for hanging out with him? Why did Andy seem sad on top of it all? Talking about how his kids wouldn't miss him... Chandler wanted to know why Andy was sad. He didn't like it.   "How are things with Brianna?" Andy wondered. Chandler frowned. He had just been about to ask Andy about his personal life. He'd been beaten to the punch. "Okay, I guess." Andy raised his eyebrows. If Chandler felt just "okay" with his relationship after a couple of months, that wasn't a good sign. He waited for the boy to elaborate. "It's good, but not what I expected," Chandler added when he noticed Andy was waiting for more of an answer. "May I ask why?" "Andy, you can ask me anything," Chandler promised. Chandler sighed, "I don't know how to explain it. It's not like anything's wrong, to be honest. I'm just not interested as much." Chandler paused before continuing, "Like last week after we ate...I didn't realize I hadn't responded to her on Snapchat in a while. Our streak almost ended. I didn't even really care." "Streak?" Andy repeated. "Yeah," Chandler said. "If you snap someone and they respond, you can get a streak going. Kind of like a record of how close you are. If one of you doesn't respond within a certain time, a little hour glass appears to warn you. If you let it go, your streak ends." Andy nodded. Surely that wasn't a big deal. He and his wife didn't speak every day. "Did she realize that your...streak was ending? Was she angry?" "I know it sounds stupid to you, Andy," Chandler sighed. "No," Andy disagreed. "I just want to understand. I'm sorry you have to explain everything...I just want to help." "Well, we never got the hour glass before. Ever. You know? Not even close. So when we did, and it was my fault. I expected her to be pissed or concerned. I don't know," Chandler gestured with his hands. "She didn't even ask if anything was wrong." "Is there something wrong?" "Yeah," Chandler decided. "She irritated me." Andy smirked, "So you think she might be maintaining the streak more for the number than for you?" "Exactly! See, you get it. If you truly deserve a streak with someone, it shouldn't be work. Especially if it's your girlfriend. If she left me opened, I would've figured she was mad. I'd want to know why, so I could fix it. She didn't even care. She just sent me a blank snap that said 'Streak?'." Andy waited for the boy to continue. "And even though I'm annoyed. I don't really care. I don't feel sad or hurt. In a way, I wish she would've just left it. Fuck the stupid streak," Chandler bit exasperatedly. He rarely swore. "I'm on your side regardless, but I'm just trying to explore all the facets," Andy began. "First of all, could she trust you enough to not assume you're angry? Perhaps she understands you're busy and didn't want to accuse you of letting the streak run out on purpose. Secondly, does a streak actually matter? Is it possible that streaks are just another way to let down our partners. If you looked at it from my view where Snapchat is meaningless, isn't this just one more thing you have to worry about?" "Sounds fake, but okay," Chandler laughed. "I guess. I don't know. Maybe I'm just looking for reasons." "I know the feeling," Andy agreed. "What do you mean?" Chandler pressed. He and Andy were standing on the edge of the sidewalk, waiting to cross. Chandler didn't really know where they were going to be eating. Sunday nights were pretty busy at restaurants...he hoped they were able to find something without getting recognized. "It's 5 PM here," Andy explained. "Which means its 10 in London. My wife always calls as soon as it's 12 there. Sometimes she'd even call in the middle of the night to wish me Happy Birthday when it was 12 here. A birthday in both time zones. And I know it's not a big deal. I'm not a child. But I've been looking at the phone all day, almost willing her not to call so that I can be angry about it." Chandler shook his head, "Your birthday is more important than some random streak. I don't see how you could do that to someone you loved. Even if she called at a better time, or ahead of time..." "Things are different when you're older. Everything matters less. My birthday doesn't mean that much to me. It's just the principle that she seems to care less. It doesn't even matter... she's raising our children. She has things to do, obviously. It's pettiness," Andy admitted. "Looking for reasons to be dissatisfied...I think it's human nature." "Doesn't need to be like that," Chandler disagreed politely. "Maybe you need someone to keep you young. I love my birthday. I love your birthday." "Maybe so," Andy agreed.   They found a restaurant at random, Chandler the hero of the evening when he pulled out his phone to search "Restaurants near me". They settled on Outback Steakhouse. There weren't a ton of options that were in fairly close walking distance. Chandler found himself sitting across from Andy at a restaurant for the second time in one week. Life was beginning to imitate art. He and Andy ate together almost every other chapter. They had so much to catch up on. If only... "So," Chandler began, settling into his side of the booth. Andy smiled without showing his teeth. "So," Andy repeated, "If you and her separated. Broke it off. Is that something you wanted?" Chandler picked at his nails. Why was Andy asking the hard questions. "Maybe...I don't know. It's nice having someone, I guess." "It's long distance?" Andy asked needlessly. He already knew. "Is that why you're having a hard time?" Chandler just shrugged lightly. "Well," Andy began, knowing he was getting into dangerous territory. "You seemed to like those stories. It didn't bother you reading about sex and things," Andy said carefully. "Do you feel like that's missing from your relationship?" Chandler gaped at Andy. That was exactly the problem. Chandler couldn't help but blush. "Which part? Like...sex in general or all the extra stuff?" Andy shifted in his seat, grabbing the base of his drink and turning it around on the coaster. "I'm sorry. You don't have to answer. That's personal." "Nah it's cool. I told you you could ask me stuff." Andy smiled without humour. "I only want to talk about it if you do." Chandler leaned forward and then back. He looked around the room before answering. "I haven't ever done anything with her..." He admitted. Andy was close to preening. Yes! He acted casual, "You've never had sex with her?" Chandler shook his head. "I know it's lame..." Andy frowned, "It's not lame. It makes a lot of sense though..." "Why?" "Having a long distance relationship with anyone is hard...even after years of being together. I'm in a long distance relationship most of the year," Andy explained. "There's nothing really connecting you right now." "True," Chandler said. "But some people never have sex...I have friends online that I probably won't ever meet, and I don't feel like I'm missing something there." Andy shrugged, "If not having sex is something you want, then of course it wouldn't make a difference. But if that's something you do want, and you're not getting it...you're going to feel a loss there." "I don't want to sound so desperate," Chandler argued lightly. "Like I'm some pouty boyfriend not getting what he wants." "Nobody said it had to be like that," Andy said. "Have you two talked about it." Chandler huffed, "We did...she wanted to. I didn't." That wasn't what Andy had expected. "Oh." Chandler rolled his eyes, "It's not like I don't want to. I just...not with her," he admitted. He felt like shit about it. Andy sat up straighter. "The stories you read. The ones about us. Did they make you realize that you're not interested in girls?" Chandler shook his head, "Not exactly." More like they made him realize he was in love with Andy. Before Andy could reply, Chandler spoke again, "I'm surprised you're bringing the stories up...I thought you were so mad at me. You were disgusted. Now you're acting like it's nothing," Chandler observed. Andy leaned back. Clever boy. "Well, like I said at the restaurant before... I was taken aback. Besides, you're the one who swore at me. You were mad." Chandler bristled, "I got defensive. What did you expect?" Andy smirked, "It's not every day you catch your best friend reading pornography about yourself. I was defensive too." Chandler inclined his head, "You seem pretty cool about it. You know those stories are mostly incest right? I'm really young in a lot of them." Chandler didn't know why he was pushing Andy's buttons. Why he got so brave. He was tired of having the spotlight on him. He wanted Andy to open up more. "They're just stories." Andy knew it had been a bad idea to mention the stories. They'd opened him right up to an inquisition. Chandler was fishing now. "The ones about us aren't," Chandler retorted. "Yeah..." Andy tried to play it down. "Another Attraction has a lot of similarities, but it's not us." Chandler looked at Andy oddly. Everything suddenly clicking into place. Interesting that one could know a title of a story he'd never read. Chandler had never mentioned titles. "Yeah, and they wrote out your family," Chandler baited. "I'm glad," Andy said immediately. "It's one thing for us to be in the spotlight. It's still weird...but it's best to leave my family out." Chandler was so close to getting him to admit it. He rolled his eyes. "Why? You have a family. Why hide from it?" "It's realistic for you to have a family. But for me, it would make me a villain. A cheater. How would that go?" Andy responded. "You become a stepfather to my children at 12? We raise Matilda and Arthur together half the year while you're still home schooled?" Chandler couldn't believe Andy didn't see how much he'd revealed. He couldn't help but look smug. Wow, the love of his life was kind of bad at arguing. He went in for the kill. "What are you talking about, Andy?" Chandler asked, taking a sip of his drink. "I'm not 12 in the story--" "Yes you are..." Andy trailed off. He saw the smugness on Chandler's face and he knew at once. "I'm 11," Chandler corrected with a shit-eating grin. "Damn," Andy huffed. How could he have missed that detail. Of course...Chandler hadn't had his birthday yet. It was only early 2011 in the fic's timeline.   "Wow," Chandler said. "You read the stories too... You. You...ugh!" Andy didn't speak. "Well," Chandler prompted. "How many did you read. When did you read them. What did you think? Details!" He snapped his fingers. Andy sighed, "Seriously?" "What was your favourite one?" Chandler pressed. "They all have their strengths," Andy said casually. "Ugh, work with me, Andy," Chandler was annoyed. "Wait," Chandler's eyes widened. "You read all of them? You didn't just skim through to see how gross they were? You actually liked them?" "Well, hold on now," Andy held his hand up. "Admit it," Chandler gasped, scandalized. "You ship us!" "Excuse me?" Andy sassed. "You," Chandler rolled his eyes. "You like Grimescest. You like Chandy," Andy's mouth opened and closed. When did this boy become so brave? So forward? "Oh my God," Chandler straightened, mouth wide open. "Do you like me?" "Don't be ridiculous," Andy scoffed. "I have a family." "So you keep saying," Chandler crossed his arms. "But that's not a no." "Do you like me?" Andy asked. "Well--. I--. Uh..." Chandler sputtered   The waiter decided then was a good time to check how the food was. "Excellent, thank you," Andy smiled serenely. "Do you mind if I got a refill?" "Diet right?" The man asked. "Exactly," Andy nodded. Chandler waited until the waiter had gone and returned with Andy's stupid drink before he looked the man in the eye.   "So you don't like me?" Andy leaned across the table. He spoke dead quietly. "You just like reading about me fucking you? You don't actually want me to do it?" "Who says I even like boys?" Chandler defied. "Maybe I'm just curious and read them for fun. Maybe it has nothing to do with you." Wow. Every moment in his life had been leading up to this moment. Andy talking openly about wanting to fuck him. Chandler was completely gone, but he tried his best to hold his ground. "I'm not a boy," Andy looked right at Chandler when he said it. He needed to take that boy apart, like yesterday. "Nooo," Chandler was flustered. "Certainly not. Nope. No boy there." "So," Andy said smugly. "If I didn't have a wife. You didn't have a girlfriend. And you were interested in men..." he emphasized the word men. "Andy...is this a joke? Like is this actually happening?" Chandler asked skeptically. "You're actually attracted to me?" "Is that so wrong?" Andy asked quietly. Chandler bit his lip and shook his head. "I don't think so." "The thing is," Andy admitted, "I don't know why you want this." "What do you mean?" Chandler was in disbelief. How could he not want Andy? That man was everything. "I wanted you before the stories," Andy confessed. "It's not just some fantasy to me." "Really?" Chandler was at a complete loss. "In the story, I practically have to beg you for this. You're admitting it to me? Just like that? No guilt. No whining?" "My character isn't that bad," Andy defended. "Besides, I'm different. This isn't a story." "Isn't it though?" Chandler grinned. "I want to kiss you," Andy admitted. Chandler looked around the restaurant, the butterflies in his stomach going wild. "You have a family, though," he reminded Andy. "You're my family," Andy responded. Chapter End Notes grimesobcest.tumblr.com Title is a Pale Waves song. Beautifully fitting for both the Chandy and Grimescest relationships. ***** Ask ***** Chapter Summary Andy and Chandler cool their heels. They head back to Andy's to continue the birthday celebrations. Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes Chandler wasn't sure what would happen if he went back to Andy's place. Now that everything was out in the open, he couldn't hide behind indecision or uncertainty. Now he and Andy were on the same page. His legs felt rubbery as he walked with Andy back to the man's house. If they weren't celebrities, they could've held hands, but anybody could be watching. That would've made a hell of a tabloid picture.   When Chandler and Andy finally made it back to the house, Chandler got shy. He'd been so brazen in the restaurant. He'd pushed Andy's buttons and basically made him admit his attraction. Chandler didn't know what had gotten into him. More importantly, he didn't know what had gotten into Andy! The man was usually so polite and reserved. He had openly talked about fucking? What was that about? Chandler couldn't help but feel smug. The Andy of his imagination was real after all. An Andy that took what he wanted without guilt...yes please. Chandler knew if he and Andy were in a story they would probably make out, bang, and confess their undying love for each other. It was the recipe of the century. Classic romance. If he was being honest, that's kind of what he wanted to happen. But when he and Andy stood inside the house's doorway, Chandler couldn't muster up the courage to speak let alone perform a sex act. In a story, he'd already be sucking Andy's dick. Maybe that wasn't a bad place to start, though? Chandler thought about it. He'd read about countless versions of himself making the first move. He'd already done this before...technically. Chandler couldn't believe himself when he asked Andy if he wanted to watch another movie. Andy grinned. Cheeky as fuck. He looked at the time on his phone. It was officially his birthday according to London's clocks. He could officially be petty about his wife's birthday efforts. Andy was slightly disgusted with himself for even thinking that he had an adequate excuse to consider cheating with Chandler...but he wasn't disgusted enough to hope that Chandler didn't make a move.   "Are we gonna talk about what happened, Chandler?" Andy asked. Chandler sighed. Why did stupid Andrew have to be so up front and adult about everything. Frankly, it offended him. Andy cutting to the chase like that with no regard for how Chandler wanted to hide and pretend nothing happened? Rude. "Well, I mean," Chandler waved his hand. "What's to talk about? I'm your family and everything. That's pretty cool right? You want to, uhm, kiss me. So there's that. What do you mean talk?" Chandler rambled. Andy raised his eyebrows, "You don't have to be nervous, love." He was slightly disappointed the evening had taken this turn. If Chandler was uncomfortable, then maybe he better not push anything. He didn't remember ever seeing Chandler act so nervous. Chandler walked into the dining room, half trying to escape the conversation, half hoping that Andy would follow him. He sat next to the chair that had his backpack. "Maybe I should give you your present," he suggested. "Oh my God. You didn't have dessert, either. I didn't get you a birthday cake...maybe we should go back out." Chandler was not sure where his mind was. He was simultaneously elated and terrified. This was exactly what he'd wanted for so long, but now that it was an option, he couldn't fathom it. He felt so lucky.   Andy sat across from Chandler quietly bemused. "I accept your gracious gift, young sir. Please, hand me the item." "Of course," Chandler nodded, thankful that Andy was joking around. Being casual. It made it was easier. "Your grace," he announced before sliding over the gift bag. "Exquisite," Andy smiled, his eyes creasing at the edges. Chandler looked at Andy with barely restrained eagerness. He loved giving gifts. He hoped Andy liked it. "A new cap," Andy said, obviously delighted. He folded the tissue paper carefully and placed it back in the bag. Chandler looked at the burgundy cap in Andy's hands. It had a cute little beaver patch on it. He wasn't really sure if Andy liked beavers, but he knew the man liked hats. It was a win-win because Chandler loved seeing Andy in hats, his curly leftovers of hair hanging out of the bottom and looking super cute. The last hat he'd gotten Andy was the green John Deere hat, so he kind of wanted to keep up the animal-hat tradition. Plus, it was a total throwback to Another Attraction which would've been way more discrete if Andy hadn't become such an avid fan. Chandler didn't feel spoiled though. Now he and Andy had a secret joke of sorts. "Thank you, Chandler," Andy said, pulling the cap over his wild hair. Chandler stood up hesitantly. He took a few steps toward Andy's chair, not sure where he was going with this. Andy scooted his chair back a bit, leaving ample room for Chandler to squeeze in if he wanted. Andy held out one arm to welcome Chandler onto his lap. "This is so weird," Chandler giggled. He sat on top of the man's legs, praying that he wasn't too heavy. His legs hung over the side of the chair. In the position, he could turn his body around to be chest to chest with Andy, or he could turn the opposite way to face the table. He chose to turn only his head so he could face Andy. His cheeks were red. "I don't want to make your legs go numb. I just...I didn't know what else to do. I don't really have moves." Andy grinned, turning his cap around so the brim wouldn't keep hitting Chandler's face. He wrapped both arms around the boy's waist. "You're bite- sized, Riggs. You couldn't weigh me down if you tried." Chandler sighed. "I don't know how to do this, Andy. I didn't even get you a card. I was so nervous about what to say...I don't know what to say now," he admitted. Andy nodded, "How would you say it on Snapchat?" He joked. Chandler rolled his eyes. "Well, firstly, our streak would be at like 600 by now. I would send you a selfie with little heart emojis in my eyes. And I'd be all chill and just say HBD dude." "That is by far, the most romantic thing I've ever heard," Andy mock-gasped. "I'm a lucky man." "Are you?" Chandler shifted delicately. Andy shrugged, "I think so. A fine little piece like you barking up my tree?" "Andy," Chandler chastized, punching his friend in the shoulder. "Don't objectify me." The man grinned, "I can't help it," he sighed wistfully. "So," Chandler asked shyly, "You still want to kiss me?" Andy could tell that Chandler was inexperienced and nervous. But there was a difference between being shy and being apprehensive. Being doubtful. The way the boy was leaning into him and looking at him with curious eyes told Andy all he needed to know. Chandler was game; he just needed to be shown the way.   Andy nodded, bringing one of his hands up to hold Chandler's cheek. He leaned forward just enough, allowing Chandler to close the rest of the gap. He wasn't sure how far Chandler had gone with his girlfriend. They hadn't had sex, but Andy wondered if they'd made out or anything else... Andy didn't feel Chandler tensing or pulling back. He smiled, thinking that it was funny how Chandler felt like he needed to be led, but Andy was taking his cues from him... He kept kissing, letting Chandler acclimatize to the pace before he made any more moves.   Chandler broke off the kiss after a minute, not pulling away from Andy completely. He rested his forehead against the man's forehead. His eyes were closed. Andy watched Chandler's blissful expression morph into a small smile. It was such a peculiar feeling to feel Chandler's face muscles shift with his smile. He'd never felt someone smile before. "I can't believe I didn't see it earlier," Chandler complained, eyes still closed. "You asked me if I liked milkshakes." Andy bit a smile back, "I also called you punk." "You thought I liked Norman," Chandler added. "It's easy to mix up things like that," Andy defended. "Are you jealous like story Andy?" Chandler giggled. "Are you insecure like story Chandler?" Andy countered. "Sometimes," the boy admitted. "But it's different." Andy agreed, "Yeah...that's how it is with the guilt. Maybe it's because you're older now."   Chandler kissed Andy again. He was the first one to add tongue. Making out wasn't scary to him. Andy just made him so goddamn nervous. He was so handsome and sure of himself. It was intimidating. He didn't want to mess up. Chandler tried his best to get up from Andy's lap without stopping the kiss. Andy followed the boy easily, standing at his full height before Chandler. He was a few inches taller than the boy, so he had to bend slightly to reach his lips. Chandler did most of the chasing, though. He'd gone from hesitant to hasty, stretching himself to be taller. He wanted to get to Andy's lips as fast as possible. Andy kept his hands at Chandler's waist, his thumbs firmly pressed against the boy's skin. He made small motions with his fingers--just a subtle hint for Chandler that things could go further if he wanted them to.               Bonus: Chapter End Notes A tease chapter. xoxo ***** One Mistake From Being Together ***** Chapter Summary Everything is telling Chandler and Andy "be together"...but both of them have ladies to be thought of. Andy has two kids. How will it all go down? Chapter Notes Just to let everybody know!! All my WIPs will be finished. I'm not abandoning any of my stories. See the end of the chapter for more notes Chandler wanted to keep kissing Andy for the rest of his life. It felt so right to be in the man's arms. He knew it sounded so cliché. So typical. He knew he should be worrying. Worrying about his girlfriend. Andy's wife. Andy's kids. His age. His inexperience. But how could he worry about anything when Andy was holding him like he'd never had anything so precious in his arms? How could he worry about going further when it was all his entire body was screaming at him. Give yourself to him. It would be so easy to just let Andy continue. Chandler could tell that Andy's fingers were itching to reach further down his body. His own hands on Andy's cheeks were starting to become desperate--he alternated between feeling the man's beard as they explored each other's mouths and fisting Andy's curls. Chandler wanted Andy so fucking bad he was aching for him. Kissing Brianna had been nothing. Touching himself in his room alone had been nothing. Imagining Andy touching his body this way...reading about it...it had all been nothing. "Andy," Chandler breathed, breaking the kiss. Chandler didn't ever swear but all he could think of to say was fuck. "I know, love," Andy practically whined. His voice lower than Chandler had ever heard it before. "I want you so bad," Chandler frowned, shaking his head. He was ashamed of himself. "I don't know where to start. I want to do everything." Andy nodded, tilting his head and leaning forward. Instead of revisiting Chandler's pink mouth, he made his destination the boy's untouched neck. His entire body was alive and at war. He was fighting against sides of himself. He wanted to destroy Chandler and protect him all the same. Andy wanted to live within Chandler. He cared about this American boy more than he'd ever cared about anything. It was awful to say, and he felt so ashamed to even approach that territory. He didn't want it to come down to this...but that's essentially what it was. Choosing between Chandler and his family. Andy didn't want to choose, but he wasn't a cheater, either. At least, not the kind that lies in wait like an infestation...waiting to take over. He wasn't the kind of man who would cheat as long as he could get away with it. He wouldn't be with Chandler while leaving a family an ocean away. He would have to make a choice. He knew what people would say to Chandler, too. Not even counting the obvious arguments...just about the cheating. "Once a cheater always a cheater." "If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you." The man sighed into Chandler's shoulder, sucking at the boy's exposed neck. Chandler felt like home, but he was treating the boy like a hotel. He couldn't do this to Chandler or his family. It would taint every moment of subsequent intimacy they shared. They'd already gone too far. As far as Andy was concerned, even loving Chandler was cheating. Making out was the next step. At least he could say they didn't fuck. If he ended this now. For now, he amended.   Andy pulled away from Chandler. He deserved a medal for his efforts. The boy was making such pretty noises. His cheeks blushed so deeply that Andy could feel the heat coming off the boy's face. He'd never sighed with such emotion. "Chandler," Andy started, just as Chandler had tried to reason. The man took a step back from the boy, removing his grip as well. Instead, Andy placed a hand on Chandler's shoulder, allowing his thumb to extend to the beginning of the hickey he'd created. "We have to do this right," Andy admitted. "I don't want to wait. I don't..." Andy had to shake his head. "But..." "I know," Chandler agreed almost breathlessly. "I know." "Too bad it wasn't a fan fiction," Andy joked. "We could do whatever we wanted." Chandler grinned. "I'll have to write one to tide me over." Andy adjusted his grip on Chandler's neck to bring him forward. He kissed the boy lightly on the forehead. "So, we'll wait," Andy decided.  Chandler didn't bother trying not to look disappointed.       The next few weeks were awkward. Frustrating. Chandler knew that discussing a divorce with one's wife wasn't just as simple as sending a text. He completely understood having to wait for Andy to get things settled, but that didn't make it any easier. He'd already taken care of ending things with Brianna. If it were anyone else's situation, and if it were anyone besides Andy, Chandler would be nervous. Nervous that he was being taken advantage of. Nervous that he was being manipulated into ending his relationship while the married man got to keep his. Have his cake and eat it too. Chandler knew that this wasn't the case though. Andy had been the one to back off. To stop things before they became men they didn't want to be. Andy wasn't a user or a manipulator. Chandler had just wanted to ghost Brianna. It would've been the easiest thing in the world. Letting the snap streak time out. Or even one step further: blocking and deleting. They had each other on tons of apps, so that would've felt a little dramatic. Unfollowing on every social media site alluded to a nasty, hate-filled break-up, but that wasn't this. Chandler still liked Brianna. She was a nice girl, and a fun friend...but when he'd tasted Andy on his lips and felt the man in his heart, she'd started to feel like an acquaintance more than a girlfriend. It wasn't her fault. He just loved Andy too much. They lived in different states, and Chandler didn't want to make the trip to see her or vice versa. It would've led to cringe-worthy misunderstandings if they saw each other in person and she'd assumed he was surprising her as a romantic gesture. He wasn't sure if he would have the guts to go through with it in that type of situation. That being said, Chandler had tried to ease her into the situation. He texted her first so that it wasn't an ambush. --Hey Bri. I really need to talk to you over the phone. Please call me when you're ready.-- Chandler agonized over the word choice and the tone. Should he have an apologetic tone from the get-go to tip her off? Or would that cause needless anxiety in his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend? Chandler knew he was being a dick, but he didn't want to be cruel on top of it all. When she called, it was relatively painless. Chandler couldn't say whether it was because of his crafty text, or if it was because she'd expected it, or if it was because she didn't really care. Either way, it was done, and he didn't have an enemy. He'd lost track of how many times he'd said sorry. It helped ease his guilt when he had to concentrate on dodging her continuous stream of "Why?". Chandler wasn't at liberty to say. "Oh, yeah, Brianna. I just really love my 40 year old TV dad, and I want to have sex with him without feeling guilty, so I needed to end things. No big deal." Chandler wished it was that simple.   The only thing Chandler had wanted to do after ending things with Brianna was talk to Andy. He and the man had been keeping their distance on set just because it felt like the right thing to do. It was easy to feel like he'd imagined the entire thing with Andy since he and the man hadn't really spoken since it all went down. Really, the only way that Chandler knew it was still on was because Andy wore his new hat to set every day. The gift was a symbol of their pending relationship. Of course, there was also the heated glances they shared, whether they were filming a scene together or apart.  Another reason that they hadn't spoken was because Chandler didn't want to seem like a desperate teenager--constantly calling his older boyfriend for reassurance. Chandler cringed at the thought of even asking Andy whether he'd asked his wife for a divorce yet. If he had a difficult time breaking up with someone he'd known for a year, he couldn't imagine what it was like to end a 10 year marriage. Chandler couldn't help but correct himself, either. Andy wasn't his boyfriend. That almost made it worse. Chandler went into his contacts and found Andy. Right at the top of the list. He tapped the screen to make the call. Screw being scared and indecisive. That was for another story. "Chandler," Andy greeted easily. "Hey," Chandler sighed into the phone. He immediately felt better. Andy was like medicine. "How are you?" Andy wondered. "I'm okay," Chandler admitted. "I just did something..." Andy waited for the boy to continue. "I broke up with Brianna." "Quite honestly, I don't know how to respond to that," Andy chuckled. "Do I offer my condolences or my congratulations." Chandler grinned into the phone. "That depends what your angle is," he teased. "Well," the smile in Andy's voice was audible, "that does mean the object of my affections is now available. It does mean we're one step closer." Chandler fell back onto his pillows and squeezed his eyes shut to channel his excitement. "I was hoping you'd say that." "I'm dying, Chandler. It's been difficult not to call you every day. Seek you out on set every chance I get. Be with you always. I just know that the closer I am to you, the higher my chance of making a mistake is. I want to do this right, and..." The man paused. "I'm so sorry that you have to wait like this. I know it must feel as if I'm stringing you along or making delays to avoid my own discomfort. I want to promise you that's not true." "I know, Andy. I know it sounds super lame. I know I sound pathetic...I just...I want you so bad, and I would wait however long it took. And it actually kind of scares me." "Believe me," Andy shook his head. "I know what that feels like. I'm terrified. I don't know what's going to happen or what Gael will do. How my children will see me. I don't want to lose it all, but I can't give us up, either. I'd say I don't know what to do, but that's not actually true. I do know what to do, and that's the tricky part. I can't hide behind indecision anymore. I have to act. I want to be with you." "God, Andy. You're so romantic," Chandler giggled. He was was trying to tease, but he was dead serious. Andy made everything into a ballad. A profession of love. To have all that emotion and eloquence concentrated on him was more than intense. Chandler didn't know how to be loved like that. He knew how he loved Andy, but it was so...he couldn't even think of the right word. It was just too much to be loved by Andy.   "Whenever you do it. Whatever happens," Chandler admitted quietly, "I'll be here." Andy nodded on his end. "I'm going to fly up as soon as we're done filming. I'll tell her then. We're only weeks away, love." Chandler turned an almost violent red before he even spoke his mind. He felt embarrassed. Virginal and lame, but he couldn't hide his feelings from Andy. "I want to kiss you again, Andy. I keep thinking about it. If we hadn't stopped." Andy hummed, "I know. I don't know what to do with how much I want you. I haven't felt this way...not even when I was a teenager. When I wanted constantly." "Welcome to my world," Chandler laughed.    When Chandler got off the phone, he couldn't decide whether he felt morose or ecstatic. Things were all coming together, and he couldn't believe it. It was just the wait that was killing him. Just like Andy had said, he didn't know what do with all the want. Masturbation could only get him so far. His only other option was losing himself in some fan fiction.  When he visited the Archive, he saw that there were three new chapters of Another Attraction. It was nowhere near enough to satisfy his longing for Andy, but he finally found some relief. Reading about himself and Andy kind of took the edge off. He didn't even know how he would handle having Andy's body for real. He would need to keep an oxygen tank next to his bed or something. Undoubtedly, getting fucked by Andy would cause him to lose consciousness. At least, that's how all the stories made sex seem. Chandler wasn't sure how good it was, but if how he'd felt kissing Andy was any indication, sex with the man would be completely off the hook. Chapter End Notes grimesobcest.tumblr.com ***** This Charming Man ***** Chapter Summary Andy gets things in order on his end. It's difficult, but necessary. Andy couldn't explain what it was like to tell Gael he wanted a divorce. It was liberating, sure, because it meant that he was one step closer to being with Chandler. However liberating it was...it was still terrifying. It still made Andrew feel guilty and awful. He'd never thought it would happen. His parents were still together, his wife's parents were still together. When he'd married Gael, he thought it was going to be forever. He wouldn't have had kids if he'd known it was all going to fall apart. Still, he didn't regret having his children. It was more that he regretted how unfair the whole situation was to them. However much of a bad father it made him, though, getting to be with Chandler would be worth it all.   It was approaching Christmas, and Andy wanted to get the ball rolling as soon as possible. There was no right answer between waiting until after Christmas or doing it before. It was going to be difficult either way. He tried to see it from his children's eyes. The options were finding out their parents would be divorcing and that their Christmas would be ruined, or enjoying one last Christmas together and leaving the bad news for the New Year. It just seemed deceitful to go through the motions of "one last family Christmas" when it would just be a show. Additionally, ending things in January just meant that 2016 would be off to a terrible start.  Andrew eventually came to the conclusion that it didn't fucking matter. There was no easy way to do it. No path of least resistance. He was going to be ripping his family apart, and it didn't matter what month he did it in. He had to think of Chandler in all of this too. Waiting to break it to his family might seem like he was doing himself and them a favour, but Chandler would be in limbo. Doing it right away meant that it was over and done with. Chandler wouldn't have to wait. He resolved to do it immediately after filming wrapped. That was November 17. He would leave the day after. Return to England and rip it off like a band- aid.      "Who is she?" Andrew had to look away from his wife. She was pacing the living room, her blond, spiky hair in disarray. It usually looked edgy and cool, but in this context, Andy couldn't help but regard her as manic. Distressed. He couldn't blame her. "Well," Andy began. He didn't know what to say. How much to give away. Chandler was 16. He wasn't exactly against the law, but it was close enough.  "It's hard to explain," Andy settled on.  "You want a divorce, and you can't even explain why? That makes no fucking sense." Andy just shrugged. He didn't know what to say. He felt like he owed her more than that, but he couldn't tell her the truth. "What about the kids?" She wondered. "Where will you live?" Her face twisted with a new realization. "Wait, you do still want to see them don't you? Or are you leaving completely? Abandoning them too?" Andy frowned, "No, I still want them." Gael huffed, "I suppose this won't make much of a difference, really. You're gone three quarters of the year anyway." He wanted to argue, but she was completely right. "I'm not going to fight you. It breaks my heart. You broke my heart, Andrew, but I won't fight. Just... Just, can you tell me why?" Tears streamed down the woman's face. Andy felt so awfully guilty he could barely look her in the eye.  Andy knew he'd fucked up when he heard the words leave his mouth, unfiltered. "You didn't call me on my birthday." If he'd watched this scene as a third party, objective observer, he would've gasped and clapped a hand over his mouth. Since he was the jackass who'd said it, he just stood his ground and waited. Gael just raised her eyebrows. She went to her purse and retrieved an envelope, presumably a card. She flicked her wrist and watched the paper spiral toward her husband. It nicked him in the chest and fell to the floor. "Happy Birthday." "I'm sorry," Andy tried. "I didn't mean to say that. It's all part of the larger picture. We're different now. Individually and together. It's not just the physical distance between us. We...it's not what it used to be. The small things are indicative of bigger problems. Not calling me..." He trailed off, embarrassed for evening mentioning it, "Can you honestly say you still love me...when the little things, the romance...it's all falling through the cracks?" "So we should just throw it away? You're willing to end a ten year marriage. Leave two children. Because you what? You feel  different? Grow up, Andy. Did you think we'd be living our honeymoon forever?" "Yeah, actually," Andy admitted. "I thought it would always be like it was in the beginning. Even after the kids...it still felt that way. But it started to fade. I started to drift away, I guess. And you can say you don't agree with me, but you must feel it on some level too. I--" "Do you already have someone else?"  Andy didn't want to admit to anything, but if he lied and said he'd cheated, she'd probably be more apt to let him go. It could backfire, make her want to fight. If he knew anything about his wife, she wasn't vindictive. She was feisty, but she wouldn't draw things out because of spite. She wouldn't hold the children over his head, even if she wanted to. Andy nodded. Gael was motionless. "We haven't even done anything yet," Andy offered, unable to lie. "I wanted to wait until I'd told you." "How big of you." Andy looked at the floor, leaving the card at his feet. "What now?" "We'll wait for the kids to get home from school. We'll tell them. Then you can stay in a hotel. Call a lawyer." "Gael, I'm sorry." "You know, if you're willing to throw all of this away. Throw me away, the..." Gael struggled to find a proper word to describe Andy's new piece, "person," she decided. "She must be pretty special. You haven't even fucked her yet. That's a pretty big gamble." Andy nodded, "He is very special." He wasn't a fan of her word choice, but she was essentially correct. Before Gael could respond, Andy added, "I'm so sorry. I didn't know what to do. How to tell you. It's not fair to anyone. Nothing I can say will even make a difference." Gael swallowed. "I hope it works out for you," she said lightly. Defeated.   Andy called Chandler the minute he got into his hotel room. He hadn't even bothered to calculate the time difference. "Hey," Chandler answered. "Hey," Andy echoed. His back to the wall, he let himself slide down to the floor. "Are you okay?" Chandler wondered. He knew what Andy had planned. Andy had told Chandler he'd do it after they'd finished filming Season 6, and he'd kept his word. Andy had called him before he boarded the plane to London. It had been two months since they'd decided this, and finding out that it was finally going to be happening...Chandler couldn't help but feel like it was too fast and too slow. Almost two months exactly since he'd first kissed Andy. Two months since he'd broken up with Brianna. Two months of waiting and keeping away from Andy so they wouldn't accidentally lose control. Now it was finally done. Once Andy returned to the States, there wouldn't be anything standing in their way. It terrified Chandler. "Not really," Andy admitted. "I miss you so much." "Me too, Andy." Andy sighed into the phone, "I don't know if we were right or wrong to stay away from each other on set...keeping my distance has made me worse instead of better." "I know," Chandler agreed. "I wish I could've come with you...I wish I was older. We could just be open about everything." "What are you doing right now?" Andy asked, his voice just the right tone to indicate he acknowledged Chandler's words, but wouldn't respond to them. Not yet. "Honestly, I've been gaming, checking my phone every five seconds." Andy grinned, "Do you think we're crazy?" Chandler was off-put by the man's words, but he could hear in his voice that there were no second thoughts. Chandler shifted in his gaming chair, "Yeah, dude. I think we're insane." Andy wanted to comment on Chandler's choice of words, but it was low hanging fruit. "Do you know what Gael said to me?" "I hate you?" Chandler tried. "Well, she kept asking me 'why?', 'who is she?', you know?" Andy said, "And I didn't know what to say. If you were older...obviously I would've just come out with it. I couldn't." Chandler listened. "And I ended up saying that there was someone. I said that we hadn't done anything yet and that we were waiting," Andy continued. Chandler huffed. "She said that you must be pretty special if I'm throwing everything away to be with someone I hadn't even slept with yet." The boy grinned. "It is pretty insane. A couple months ago I was just reading about it...now I have chance to actually do it? I mean, you're leaving her for me, and I know it makes me a complete asshole to be happy about it, but..." Chandler trailed off. "I just. Do you know what I'm trying to say?" "I do," Andy agreed. "I guess when you know you know." "How did we not feel this sooner, Andy?" Chandler wondered. "It could be like in the story. We could've been together all this time." Andy bit his lip, "Well, I think the writer of that story is a little loose- handed. I don't think I could've started dating an 11 year old. No matter how cute you are." Chandler laughed, rubbing his hand over his eyes. "It's true, though. Right? Like, I've always...you know...loved you, but now it's so weird. I feel like you're all I can think about. How did I go from just thinking you were cool to this? I don't get it." Andy shook his head, "I can't explain it. I'm keen to blame the stories. That they put the idea in your head, but I don't think a story can be that influential. For me, it's...well I thought about you before I caught you reading." Chandler sighed. "I can't help but think, what if the same thing that happened to you and your wife happens to us. I mean, is it so hard to believe that we might grow apart too?" "It's not hard to believe," Andy agreed, "But can you honestly say you believe it?" "I feel like I could never not want you," Chandler admitted. "I just keep thinking how lucky I am. And how lucky you're going to be, Andy. I would do anything for you." Andy ducked his head, "Let's go with that, then. As soon as I get back, love." "As soon as you get back," Chandler agreed. He was aware of the possibility that he and Andy might not be together for the rest of their lives. He was a romantic, just like Andy, but there had to be some place for realism. Many couples didn't last, and if they did, it wasn't necessarily because they were happy. People just became compliant with their shitty lives and relationships. There was no way he could predict the future, but Andy was right. When you know you know, and he could feel it. He could feel that he and Andy would last. It wasn't everyday that someone left their family for him, after all. Even Gael could see Andy and Chandler had something special. End Notes grimesobcest.tumblr.com Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!