Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/1002070. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: F/M Fandom: Sons_of_Anarchy Relationship: Happy_Lowman/Original_Character Character: Happy_Lowman, Jax_Teller, Gemma_Teller_Morrow, Tig_Trager, Juice_Ortiz, Chibs_Telford Additional Tags: Romance, Crimes_&_Criminals, Angst Stats: Published: 2013-10-13 Updated: 2013-10-14 Chapters: 3/100 Words: 5536 ****** Still Beating, Still Breathing ****** by CourtCyanide Summary Layna Morgan is an up and coming attorney, and doesn't hesitate to respond when Jax Teller calls in a favor. There's a few complications though; in the form of a certain handsome, ironically named enforcer assigned to babysitting detail. Will she fix his problems? Can he fix hers? Or is everything doomed to go up in a cloud of smoke? Happy/OC Notes Disclaimer: I do not own Sons of Anarchy or any shit associated with them. I give credit to Kurt Sutter, the lucky bastard. ALSO – I am not making any money off of my writing. Dirty thoughts coming to life and being read or commented on are no form of currency. BE WARNED: Cussin', fuckin', and blood are all coming up. If you don't dig it, don't read it. Enjoy! ***** Chapter 001 ***** Chapter 001:   Layna Morgan sighed as she stared at the mass of paperwork in front of her. She had more than enough shit to attempt to work through, and she didn't even know where to start. The Sons were something else, that was for sure; and she had no idea how their previous lawyer had muddled her way through all of this mess. But that was in the past now, and it was up to her to get them out of this shit-storm that they had created for themselves. She shook her head, in an utterly disbelieving fashion that they though that they were going to get themselves out of this sometime. She heard an amused chuckle coming from the other side of the desk, and looked up into the amused eyes of her assistant. “What the fuck do you think is so funny?” she demanded, huffing a bit and making him laugh all the more as he took a little stack of paperwork from her and began to rifle through it. “I think that it's funny how you think you're going to get the Club out of this one, when their own lawyer of God knows how many years, admitted that she couldn't. They're a bunch of outlaw criminals, and honestly, they deserve to be locked up for all of the shit they've done. I don't see how we're going to be able to help them, even with all of the money they're going to be giving us,” Ricky said tentatively, knowing that he could tell his boss whatever he was feeling without too much recompense. Opinions were always weighed, and she just nodded her head at him. “I don't think you understand, Ricky... but I owe Jackson Teller a favor. A very large favor, and I'm not going to just let him and everything he loves go down because I don't think there's a way out. I'm going to fight tooth and nail for them, and I'll try to figure out anything and everything I can possibly do... or try to do, to get them out of this.” Ricky just nodded his head and took a breath. “I'll get started on going through some of this then,” he stated simply, grabbing a stack of paperwork and exiting the room – presumably to his office. Layna sighed and rested her elbows on the desk, using her hands to cradle her aching head and trying to make sense of everything that was going on. She knew that there just had to be a loophole somewhere, and all that she needed to do was find it; but that was proving to be immensely difficult. The cops hadn't missed a single fucking thing, they had all been mirandised and were arrested according to proper protocol. She was surprised the judge had allowed them to make bail, honestly, and that the club had had the funds to back it up. She assumed their connections to the Real IRA had helped with that, but then again, she wasn't supposed to know that. She jerked her head up in surprised when she heard a light knock at her door, and gave a smile small when she saw the familiar face of Jackson Teller. “Mr. Teller,” she greeted him formally, her eyes glancing slightly behind him to see a rather... rugged looking man standing behind him. His face portrayed absolutely no emotion whatsoever, and his dark eyes glinted with a steel resolve. “What can I do for you?” “No need to be so formal, doll,” Jax smirked at her, pulling her into a friendly hug as she stood up and came around her desk. “I'm just here to see how things are coming along, and to give you some... protection,” he told her. Oh great, a goddamn babysitting detail. She wasn't trusted by everyone else in the club, she had no doubts of that, so the idea of her having a babysitter wasn't exactly surprising to her. It was a nuisance more than anything really, but she kept her mouth shut, she didn't want to sabotage this deal, and she most definitely didn't want to give Jax a reason to be pissed at her. “Okay,” she said simply, giving him a half smile. She looked to the hard-faced man standing with him, and attempted to put a more friendly expression on her face. “I'm Layna, pleased to meet you...” she trailed off, searching for a name. “Happy,” he answered simply, the name actually making her smile a bit at the irony. “Happy,” she finished, knowing that bikers didn't usually shake hands and looking towards Jax. “How long am I going to be... protected for?” she asked the man in a tentative voice, though she already knew the answer. “Until the case is closed, one way or the other,” Jax answered with a simple shrug. Layna nodded her understanding, knowing that she was pretty much making a deal with the devil on this one. She either won the case, and the Club trusted and accepted her – or she lost, or somehow otherwise fucked up, and she was dead. And this... man, Happy, would be the one to end her. She didn't have to grow up in the life to know what an Enforcer was, the Nomad patch said it all. He had no reason to be in Charming right now, except to back up Club interests. And one of those interests was her; he was to shadow her every move and waking moment, and report back to the club on everything she did. “I see,” she murmured, almost to herself, before shaking everything off and putting a smile on her face again, trying to appear energetic and ready to work. “Can I interest you guys in a drink?” she asked. “I've got some Scotch in the cupboard, pretty good shit, and I'd really like a chance to get to talk with you about what these piss-ants in the San Joaquin Sheriff's Department have on you.” “I'm game,” Jax replied, he and Happy moving to sit in the two chairs across from her desk as she poured all of them a glass of the bourbon and seated herself. -------------------- Happy kept his gaze emotionless and calculating as he studied the little woman that was seated across from him and his VP. He didn't know how he was supposed to trust in the ability of this little thing. She couldn't be any taller than 5'2, and maybe weighed a hundred pounds soaking wet – but goddamn, she was fucking sexy. Her chocolate brown, wavy hair cascaded beautifully around her shoulders, and she had curves in all the right places. Her tits looked like the perfect size for a handful, and the glimpse he'd gotten of her heart-shaped ass was enough to make his dick stiffen some. When her bright green eyes had met his gaze for the first time, he'd been startled by the amount of intelligence and understanding in them. And let's not even talk about her damn smile; she only had one dimple, on her right cheek, if he remembered right, and it was absolutely adorable. Beautiful white teeth shown at him, and her little button nose seemed to wrinkle of its own accord as she looked over some aspects of the case. She was so damn easy to read, he didn't know how she'd win them this case. But amazing things came in small packages sometimes, and he was genuinely curious to see her in a court room. There was an even larger part of him, though, a more curious part – that wondered what it would be like to put his dick in her. He wanted to know what that pretty little mouth could do to a man, what her pussy felt and tasted like, everything. He wanted to manhandle that little body of hers, to manipulate her any which way she wanted and make her scream his name; to make her claw the fuck out of his back with that pretty little french manicure of hers. The urge was utterly primal, and he didn't know how long he'd last not trying... fuck, at least something with her if he was to be her babysitter until further notice. The more and more he thought about what he wanted to do to her, the stiffer and stiffer his dick got. Shit, he had to stop with this before she noticed. He shifted himself to be a bit more comfortable with his growing erection, and downed the rest of his Scotch. It was easy for him to space out during the conversation, this whole thing didn't concern jail time for him, he was just here to help out and keep an eye on their youngblood attorney. Simple. But when she downed the rest of her Scotch like a champ as well, and gave them both that adorable little smile of hers that was full of confidence, he knew it wasn't going to be as simple as he thought. When she leveled those green eyes of hers on him, and brushed her fringe-style bangs away from her face, he knew he was a damn goner. He had to have her. He had to know her in every which way he could, those beautiful features and eyes of hers had already sucked him in. His ma had told him it'd been like this for her when she met his dad... when you knew that someone was the one, you knew it the second you laid eyes on them. He'd always called her story bullshit, stating that if his dad had been the one he'd have stuck around – then his ma had leveled him with the point that even though someone may be the one for you, you may not be the one for them. He'd been forced to acquiesce then and place a kiss to her cheek. All he could do was hope like fucking hell that she was interested in him in at least some way similar to the way he was interested in her. Then he needed to hope like hell that she was single; but honestly, that didn't matter much to him. He'd have her if he had anything to say about it. He'd never thought about settling down before, and he was sure something in him had to be kinda off its damn rocker if he was already thinking about it with her. Maybe it was just the lust talking, or maybe it wasn't. He'd just have to wait and see. ***** 002 ***** Chapter 002: Layna sighed as she drove home from her office that evening after a few more hours on the job. Her talk with Jax had actually gone rather well, she still couldn't help but feel anxious that she wasn't quite up to par with the job, and the motorcycle that followed behind her car, almost too close for comfort, was evidence that the MC felt the same way. She sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day, and grabbed a cigarette from her pack before picking her lighter up out of the cup holder and lighting it up. She cracked her window before exhaling the smoke and letting the nicotine soothe her senses. Her mind was churning; a mixture of the case, her new babysitter, and her growing feeling of need for codeine also making her stomach churn at the same time. She needed a fix, and she needed it bad. It took a few more minutes, and quite a few drags from her cigarette to make her feel better, and as soon as she got home – and knew her stash was that much closer to her, she began to feel a lot better. She dropped the butt of her cigarette on the ground stomped out the remaining flames as Happy pulled his bike up into the driveway, next to her car. “This spot isn't taken, right?” he asked, kicking the stand down and hanging his helmet over one of the handlebars. “No,” Layna answered him in a soft voice. “I live alone.” Happy only gave a nod as she answered his question; pleased to hear that he didn't have to worry about attempting to make explainations to some sort of roommate or a boyfriend or some other shit. He was genuinely happy to hear that she lived by herself. And her house was quite nice, actually. It wasn't too big, but it wasn't too small either – it was quaint and appeared to be cozy. He followed closely behind her as she made her way to the front door, putting her key in the lock and turning it before reaching inside to turn the light on as she kicked her shoes off and hung her purse and keys up on one of the hooks. The house was well decorated, as if she'd been living here for quite a while almost, and the front door opened right into the living room. Her house was done in warm colors; light browns and beige colors. Her furniture was dark brown; there was a sectional, an armchair, an ottoman, and a rather large TV based in a mahogany entertainment center that made him give a bit of a smile. He could get comfortable here. “If you wanna follow me, I'll show you to the guest room so you can get set up,” Layna caught her attention with her soft voice and he nodded again as he followed her down the hallway, the house was based on just one story and it also had an open floor plan. “Right here's the bathroom, if you need anything just let me know,” she said, to which she earned another nod. “My bedroom's the one at the very end of the hall, and yours is the last one on the right.” Happy smiled a bit behind her back as he saw the location, the room he would be staying in was right next to hers. “Okay,” he responded this time, and followed her into his new 'room' as she flicked on the light. The walls in this room were a deep, blood red as and she had based most of the furniture to appear black, and the bedding followed a black and red theme as well. It looked to be queen sized, and was perched atop a fluffy rug, as the rest of the flooring was a dark hardwood. There was a dresser and what looked to be an armoire. “It's nice,” he told her in his gruff manner, actually earning another smile from her as he sat his duffle bag on the bed and sat down on the corner of it. “What do you usually do?” he asked her, earning a curious look. “I mean, like when you get home and shit. You live by yourself – you don't go out or anything?” Layna looked at him a bit and chewed on her bottom lip; she was a lawyer, lying came to her like a second nature, but she wasn't sure how she should answer this handsome man's questions. She had a feeling that if she were to lie to him, he'd be able to see right through all of her bullshit and she'd just succeed in pissing him off. And that would make this whole babysitting thing even more miserable for the both of them than it already was. “Look... Happy,” she began, taking a breath. “My career is pretty much my life. I mean, I know I'm only twenty-seven, but I honestly have no life outside of my practice. I don't go out or anything when I get home, I usually take a pill and have a glass of wine. Maybe I'll get my nook out and read a book, but it just depends on the night. Or I'll watch whatever stupid yet somewhat interesting bullshit I find on netflix, or play a video game, but that's about as exciting as my life gets.” “What pill do you take?” Of course, out of her entire speech, that was the only part he'd ask her about. Layna sighed again, and rubbed a hand over her weary face before brushing her bangs out of her face. “Vicodin.” “Why?” “Because I fucking hate being sober,” she replied honestly, giving him a bit of a shrug, noting the way he was studying her now. “Happy – when, if, you ever get to know me better, you'll understand why. I'm sure with this whole babysitting thing you were dragged into, you'll find out shit about me that no one else knows. Especially when you snoop through my house when I'm asleep like I know you're supposed to.” Happy didn't even bother trying to deny it, she'd told him some shit, so he wouldn't try to coat anything or deny what his intentions were on the first night he was going to be supervising him. The little woman standing in front of him was quite formidable, and he honestly would never have thought that he'd find out that she was a pillhead. “Why don't you just save me the snooping and just tell me?” he asked her in that rough, smoke tainted voice of his. “Let me get changed and set up for the night, and I'll tell you,” she answered after a long sigh. He just nodded his head. -------------------- Layna groaned as she kicked her heels off and sat on her bed, taking the opportunity to massage her small feet a bit before she pulled on a pair of brightly colored socks. It was a little OCD of hers, her feet could never be completely naked. Partially because looking at the ink on her feet made her heart clench and caused a sick feeling to arise in the pit of her stomach. She stood up then, and stripped out of her office-wear, tossing the dirty clothes into the hamper in the corner of the room and strode in her black bra and pantie set to her dresser. She pulled out a pair of black Victoria's Secret sweatpants and then picked out a dark pink tank top to put on. Once that was done, she grabbed a white headband from the top of her dresser before piling her hair into a messy bun on the top of her head and putting it on, letting it do its work and keep her bangs and layers out of her face. She took off her jewelry and sat it on her dresser before opening her underwear drawer and grabbing two pills out of the bottle that laid within. She strode out into the living room then, where she saw Happy sitting on the couch wearing a white SAMCRO shirt and a dark pair of jeans. She assumed he'd left his kutte in the guestroom and she gave him a bit of a smile. “Want anything to drink?” she asked him, as she strode past him and into the kitchen. Grabbing a bottle of wine from the fridge and a glass from up top. “Do you have any beer?” “I've got some Budweiser, but that's it. It's the only beer I can stand the taste of,” she replied, pouring her wine into the glass before making her way back to the fridge to return it to where it belonged. “That's fine.” Layna nodded to herself and grabbed one of the bottles from the fridge, setting it on the counter for a second so she could pop her little pills of happiness into her mouth and down them with a swig from her glass. She then grabbed her glass of wine and his bottle of beer before returning to the living room, handing him his bottle and seating herself on the part of the sectional that was closest to his perch on the armchair. “Where do you want me to start?” “From the beginning, doll. From the very beginning.” ***** Chapter 3 ***** Chapter 003:   Layna sighed for what felt like the billionth time that night and took a healthy sip from her glass of wine, hoping like hell that her Vicodin would kick in quickly as she looked into those intense black orbs that were currently fixated on her. His gaze made her feel flushed, like a heat was welling up deep within her, and if she wasn’t mistaken – she could see the lust in his gaze. It made the muscles of her groin clench as his gaze continued. “Um… it all started probably around my seventeenth birthday,” Layna began, curling her legs up underneath her as she huddled into the side of the sectional. “I had this… boyfriend, I guess you could say, I thought he was the love of my damn life,” she told him, taking another sip from her glass of wine as he cracked open his beer and took a healthy drink. “I had just found out that I was pregnant, and I was over the moon about it, Happy, I was the happiest that I had ever been. I wanted a life with Brian, and the baby that I carried was my guarantee.” Happy nodded to show her that he was listening. He could see no evidence of a kid here, his trained eye would have picked that out the moment that he step foot inside, as he got himself a bit more comfortable in his chair. Following her lead when she lit up a cigarette in the middle of the living room and she soon sat an ashtray between the two of them. “I thought Brian was the most amazing thing on the face of this planet; I wanted to marry him, carry his babies, and be a housewife – it was all I wanted to do. I just wanted to love him and be with him forever. Naïve as shit, huh?” she asked Happy with a bit of a bitter laugh. “You were young,” Happy replied, his gruff voice taking on a somewhat soothing tone as he looked at her. Knowing that her story was about to take a real bad turn. “I’d had no idea that he’d been cheating on me since we’d gotten together. No idea that he was a big time drug dealer out in L.A. No fucking idea, Happy. He’d gone to all of my doctors’ appointments with me, taken care of me during my morning sickness, and he’d hugged me and even shed a few tears when we found out that we were having a boy.” Layna took a breath and another sip of her delicious wine. “Zane Alexander was born on July 18th, 2004 at 4:27am. He weighed seven pounds, seven ounces, and was eighteen inches long,” Layna continued, her eyes becoming a bit misty as she reminisced. “And everything in my universe suddenly revolved around him. He was my entire fucking world, even more so than his dad, and I fell in love with him the moment I’d heard his first cry.” Happy nodded again, feeling a sudden burst of sympathy for this beautiful little woman who was seated so close to him. He could only imagine the love that she had felt for her child, he’d never had one and never planned on having one, but he could somewhat empathize. His mama was the only family he really had, and he’d lay down his life for her without thinking even once. “What happened?” Happy asked, as gently as he could, and his heart broke a bit for her as a lone tear spilled down her cheek. “When Zane was about six months old, his father and I had gotten into it really, really bad. He’d gotten abusive after our son was born, and controlled every single part of our lives. I couldn’t even breastfeed without having to justify it to him somehow. I’d um… I’d tried to leave, but the car wouldn’t start. I hadn’t even brought Zane and all of our things outside yet, and Brian came home. He flipped the fuck out, demanded to know what his little whore was doing and where the fuck I thought I was taking our baby,” Layna took another breath. “He’d hit me before, whooped me even… but this time, he straight up whooped my fucking ass, Happy. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t fight him off. All I could do was lay there – and after he was done hitting me, he ripped all of my clothes off, and… he raped me. As roughly and as violently as he could. When I came to, he and Zane were gone.” Happy’s eyes widened in surprise, and he looked at her in an entirely new light. “Is that why you decided to become a lawyer?” Layna gave a half-smile and nodded her head, finishing off her glass of wine and smiling a bit more so as she felt a small buzz from it and her Vicodin started to hit her full force. “Yeah. After calling the authorities and a manhunt was unleashed, we found out Brian had taken Zane to Mexico – he was a native there, and the authorities there won’t extradite him. He still has my son, though, a private investigator I hired a few months back confirmed it. He’s such a big, strong boy now, Happy. I just want him back.” “How come you’ve never taken him by force?” “I’ve never been able to get past the border. Brian’s a big name down there now, Happy. He bought the guards there, customs won’t let me out of an airport there. There’s nothing I can do now. And I won’t let someone else try to take him, Brian would kill them.” “Maybe someone should kill him.” “I would love whoever did forever, Happy. Believe me, I would. But I could never, ever fucking ask someone to go get my son back for me. He probably doesn’t even know who I am, and if he does know – Brian probably told him that I’m either dead, or that I left them and didn’t want a thing to do with him. All my years in law school and as a lawyer has shown me that the law is on my side, but those with money have power, and the law is, as such, slave to them.” Her words were a bit of a slur now, and Happy could see that she was on her way to being plastered. But now he understood why, it was perfectly clear. He wanted to tell her that he would kill Brian for her, that he’d get her son back for her. But he couldn’t make any promises, but so help him, if she won this case for his brothers – he and a few of his most trusted would be riding deep to Mexico. Where Happy would rip that Brian motherfucker apart with his bare hands; where he would get Layna’s son back for her. He couldn’t understand why he wanted to do all that, maybe he just wanted to be the hero for once, but he couldn’t stop himself. “Let’s get you to bed, doll,” Happy said gruffly, making her giggle as she quickly drank her second glass of wine. Somehow she had gotten up at some point during her story to grab it, and she’d chugged the bitch down as soon as it was poured. “But I don’t wanna go to bed, Happy,” she said, as he picked her small body up from the couch to begin carrying to her bedroom. “I thought we were tellin’ stories, I wanna know about you now,” she whined and slurred at the same time, making Happy chuckle a bit at her words. “I’ll tell you all about me sometime, doll,” he promised her, laying her on her bed and watching that sexy little body of hers squirm as she tried to get herself onto her stomach. “But I wanna know now!” she exclaimed, grabbing Happy’s hand. He felt a bolt of electricity where she had touched him, and that bolt of electricity seemed to shoot straight to his dick. She was wearing an outfit that showed off her body quite well, and the way that her hair was pulled back made her seem even younger. She used her grip on his hand to pull him down to be seated on the edge of the bed. “Tell me about you, Happy, I wanna know.” “I’ll tell you all about me if you answer me one question.” He figured he’d try to compromise with her, and she looked at him with those intoxicated eyes of hers, all wide and frantic, and nodded her head in response to him. “Tell me about how you met Jax, and why you owe him such a big favor.” He knew it was really none of his business, Jax would have told him if he needed to know, but he wanted to know. He wanted to know so damn bad that it wasn’t even funny. He couldn’t stand the thought of her being someone that Jax had bedded down with a couple of times; he couldn’t picture her letting Jax, or any man for that matter, in like that. Layna started giggling then, and sat up, the sudden action causing her head to swim some as she did so. “Oh, Jax and I go way back, Happy,” she said with another giggle. “I met him when he was out in L.A. once, I was still in law school at the time actually, and I was in a very, very dark and fucked up place,” she told him, crossing her legs on her bed and gifting him with another one of those beautiful smiles as he adjusted her headband some for her. “I was actually stripping at the time, and I’d gotten into it real bad with a client, Jax saw the whole thing,” she continued. “I was high and drunk as shit, and I wound up hitting the guy over the head with one of my platforms,” she took a breath and laughed some. “The motherfucker had tried to manhandle me, and I didn’t take very kindly to it at all. Well, Jax realized how fucked up I was, and he got me outta there before the cops could get there. He actually stayed with me and made sure that I wasn’t gonna get sick or anything. When I was sober in the morning, I tried attacking him, he’d been sleeping on the couch.” Happy chuckled a bit at that one, imagining this small bit of a woman trying to attack a grown man was a rather absurdly funny thought. “He actually didn’t smack the hell out of me for hitting him and getting the jump on him,” Layna said with a bit of a sigh. “He actually took the time to talk to me, and he told me there was no reason for someone as pretty as I am to be stripping and high and drunk all the time. I told him that I was putting myself through law school so that I could try and get my son back later one; but I needed help paying for school and no job that I’d been able to find otherwise had even paid enough to cover my rent and utilities, so I was doing that until I’d gotten my degree.” “So… then what happened?” “Then Jax told me that, when I become a lawyer, if I would help him out with whatever legal proceedings he needed – he’d help me pay for school, and he’d pay half of my rent and utilities so that I could get a legitimate job and not wind up on the streets for addiction. I got clean for a while, actually, with his help… but I relapsed when I hired that private investigator and he told me what was going on with my son.” “So you and Jax never…?” “Once,” Layna told him honestly. “It was… awkward, and we were both shitfaced at the time. It never happened again after that, we just agreed to be friends and keep to our bargain.” Happy nodded in understanding. “Do you have a thing for bikers then?” “I have a thing for real men, Happy,” Layna answered, giving him an intoxicated smile again. “I’ve honestly only ever been with three men. Brian, Jax, and someone else I prefer not to talk about… but I will never be with someone who can’t be faithful or settle down. I won’t be with someone who would ever even think about laying hands on a women, and I won’t be with someone who isn’t okay with me having a son and the potential that my son will come back to me.” Happy sighed and then smiled a bit as she suddenly flopped backwards and squirmed a bit more. “I love this feeling, Happy.” “What feeling?” “This fucking… being high and actually having someone to be here to talk to me. Knowing that you’re not gonna let anything bad happen to me because Jax will kill you,” she giggled again. “And knowing that you seem to understand me, even if you’ve been putting your dick in me with your eyes all night.” “What?” Happy said, a bit surprised and looking at her with a raised eyebrow. “What are you talking about? “Are you denying it?” Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!