Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1720130.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Relationship:
      Jensen_Ackles/Misha_Collins, Castiel/Dean_Winchester
  Character:
      Misha_Collins, Jensen_Ackles, Castiel, Dean_Winchester, Jared_Padalecki,
      Sam_Winchester
  Additional Tags:
      Cockles, Mishamigos, jibcon, rom_-_Freeform, Roleplaying_Character, First
      Time, Hand_Jobs, jerking_off, wanking
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-05-31 Words: 4449
****** Squashing ******
by Pikkuhiiri
Summary
     Jensen was so tired about this Dean and Castiel shit. Not because he
     did'nt like the idea, it was because he had a litte crush for Misha
     and making out with him on set was so not happening. And as Jensen
     was losing his mind over the idea, Misha was the friend he always
     was, knew exactly what Jensen needed and made Dean and Cas do nerdy
     and awesome little things.
Notes
     Yeah well, I was not in Rome. And I am really sad about it. But after
     all those pics ans videos I've got so many ideas it made me crazy. I
     am not sure if I like what I've written, but I think it's not that
     bad ^^
     If you like it, please leave me Kudos. And sorry for the bad grammar,
     I am from Germany and english sometimes sucks ;-)
     Have fun :-)
It was not the first time for Jensen, and it was not the last one. It was every
year the same screwed shit. All this questions about the relationship between
Dean and Cas got more and more disturbing. He lost the count on how many times
he tried so hard to explain that all this creepy Destiel shit was not going to
happen at all. And everytime he tried to play it like a professionel, easy and
smooth, he ended up in his hotel room or trailer and was fucked. Fucked about
the reactions. Fucked about the fact that he was not able to play it that easy.
But mostly fucked because he hated himself for squashing the hearts of so many
people out there, just because of his own feelings. Just because he was selfish
like hell.
 
The Whiskey looked calm in the glas and Jensen was wondering when he will get
used to it. When he finally grew up. Maybe never. Not when it was something
about him and Misha. Not like that. Misha was cool. That's the reason the
people will always love this guy more than him. Misha was one of those guys on
set who really would love to play the Dean and Cas relationship in a more
romantic way. Jensen could easy imagine how bad Jared would lose his shit over
a kissing scene between him and Mish. This would end in the prank of the year.
But it was not going to happen. As long as Jensen could bottom line his
opinion, there was no kissing and no anything between him and Misha. Or
whatever.
 
The Whiskey ran down his throat and he knew that it was enough by now. Because
tomorrow was his panel with Misha and just because of the fact that it was
Misha he really should skip the part of getting drunk and go to bed. Try to
catch some sleep to be as normal as possible tomorrow. To be just cool and
relaxed and just Jensen. Not the man from the set of Supernatural, who is
against a making out between the demon and the angle, because of the fact he
really had a bad crush on this actor of the angel. And it really would screw
his life if this was not going to stop somehow. So what else should Jensen do?
Go for kissing scenes or just be the bad guy and squash it over and over it
again, because of his own fear to lose the control just from the moment on
Misha would press this lips on his own.

No. Not happening. Jensen knew he would go completly under if Misha was going
to kiss him ever.
Today was hard enough. It was torture. It was like poking a demon with iron.
And on the other hand it was just amazing and it made his head spin around, it
made his heart skip new beats. And all of it without lip contact. He kissed
Misha's hand so damn hard that he was afraid Mish would get it wrong. He was so
lost in this kind of role play that he lost it. He lost it, when he felt
Misha's warm breath in his face. When their noses brushed against each other,
because it was difficult to play it without doing it on stage before. Even if
it was an actor kiss. For Jensen it was the best thing ever. It was like
walking on the edge of the ocean. Coming as close as possible to the cold waves
but keep the distance. He knew that in the end he would stand knee deep into
the cold water.
He nearly missed the knocking on his hotel room when he refilled his glas
again. He knew that Misha was making this evening worser than it was. There was
no possibility that anyone else than Misha would knock at 1:23am on his hotel
door.
„It's open.“
 
And when Misha walked through that door the rush was back in his blood. The
feeling of need and more and hunger and just all this shit. He should stop
drinking because he was too drunk already to stop starring at his co actor.
This night was going to end as screwed as the whole day.
„I thought you're still awake and I am so not tired. So here I am. Wanna talk
about something, Jen?“
His lips curled into something like a smile. It was always the same. Everytime
Misha was around he was smiling. It does'nt matter how worse his day was or how
bad his mood. Misha was this magic person in his life, who just can come around
when ever he liked and paff, there was the smile on Jensen's face. It was so
awkward. Like now. And there was this expression on Misha's face. It was
something between the kind of looks Misha always had when he is going to be
childish or when Cas had no idea about what Dean is talking. He loved it when
Misha was looking at him like that. It was like sugar in his blood. Too fast in
his brain and to short in his systeme.
 
„Nah, I'm fine Mish.“
Like always.
But Misha was looking at him like he did'nt believe him at all.
„No you're not Jen. And you know why I think you're not? Because you're sitting
in a hotel room in Italy, drinking Whiskey and beeing not afraid to lie
directly in my face. So either you're telling me what's wrong with you, or I
will slap you in the face until you will honey.“
He was reaching for his glas, just to have something to hold on to, but Misha
was faster. He took the glas out of his reach and for the first time since the
panel this afternoon, Jensen was looking in those blue eyes. It was like got
hit by a car.
„It's because of Dean and Cas,right? You lose it again because of fictional
caracters? Really? Come on Jen, it's just fun.“
Yeah, sure. Misha was so right. But it was'nt Dean and Cas. In that case it was
just Dean. Just him. Because playing Dean with feelings for Cas day after day
on set was the most horrible thing Jensen could imagine. Because at some point
he would totally lose himself in Dean and somehow Misha would figure out that
Jensen was not able to play those creepy feelings that well. This would suck.
And this was not going to happen.
 
„It's not going to happen.“
„Why. You have to explain it. No one will understand if you're not going to
explain what's your problem Jen.“
„This is'nt Dean man. I mean how am I supposed to play someone who is gay? How
can anybody expect that Dean is really gay. Look at this dude. He is so into
woman. That's just crap. This is destroying the whole show.“
„Who said that Dean is gay?“
Misha was looking at him and for the first time Jensen realised that he is
talking about the whole Dean and Cas situation with an open heart. But he was
right. No one said that Dean is going to be gay after a kissing scene between
him and Cas.
„So what. Dean is doing this because he is horny and needy? He is drunk? Or
because he is a demon?“
Misha was starting to laugh and Jensen tried to figure out what was so funny
about his opinion.
„Jen, Dean is always horny and needy. You know that. But I get it. You're
right. But maybe it's just because Cas would like to kiss him. Ya know. Maybe
it's not Dean's fault.“
„It's always Dean's fault.“
 
There it was. Jensen was not going to say it out loud. But there it came out.
That he thought about blaming himself for everything. Not Dean. Himself.
Because he was stupid enough to became needy for Misha. After all this years.
From one day to another, he woke up and was horny as hell and he needed nearly
the whole day to figure out what it made him so horny. And when he knew it, he
felt like losing ground. And since this day, there was this rushing feeling for
Misha. Like a teenager out of mind. All he really want is to taste this skin,
to kiss those lips, to feel this body. It made him crazy. Every day a little
bit more.
Misha got up on his feet, and sat down, close beside him. The warmth of his
body was brushing through Jensen's tighs and he closed his eyes for a short
time. He had to focus.
„You are so silly when you drunk.“
And than Jensen had to smile. Just because this was stupid. This was crap.
„You forgot to say that I am always silly.“
Misha leaned in closer and Jensen's mouth go dry. This day was so difficult. If
Misha was going to touch him again, he would totally freak out.
„I love you when you're silly. Really.“
And than Misha was stroking over his cheek and Jensen felt the blood rushing in
his venes.
„Yeah, I know that man.“
„Fine, so now that we talked about your issues, whats wrong with you. I mean
it's in the middle of the night.“
 
I can't sleep because you make me nervous. I can't sleep because I am afraid to
dream of you again. I won't close my eyes, because you are everywhere. I am so
pissed about Dean, that he let Cas in his life. And I am more pissed about
everybody who thinks this would fit.
That's it. But Jensen would not say any of it. Not now. Not later and not to
any other time. So he did'nt say anything at all.
„Jensen, are you listening?“
He looked in those blue eyes and than it was like his mouth and tongue were no
longer a part of his body. He can't control his thoughts any longer and it was
not possible to stop the things, which dropped out of his mouth.
„Do you think Cas would really like to kiss Dean?“
Misha started to smile and leaned back, not losing the eye contact.
„Yeah. I think he would.“
„But why?“
„Because it's Dean. It always was Dean. You know why the fans would like to
have this romantic thing between Dean and Cas? Because of all the things Cas
gave up for just one human beeing. And that's the reason he would go for a
kiss. Because it's Dean. And Cas always does everything for Dean. Because he
teached him how to love and what love means.“
 
There was a thought in Jensen's head. And this thought made him crazy and
nervous and dizzy.
He has to go for it. Misha was his friend. It would end up well. Like always.
„So you say, that Cas would like to kiss Dean, but Misha would not like to kiss
me?“
The smile fell from Mishas face and for this short time Jensen thought now it's
over. Fear reached for him and crawled under his skin. It felt like beeing lost
into the water, not able to hold on the surface any longer. He felt a tingling
sensation in his neck and he knew that it was something like panic. He had no
idea how to play this off topic now.
His mouth was try and he tried to swallow down the knot in his throat, but he
could'nt.
And than Misha was wetting his lips and all Jensen could do, was starring on
this wet, swollen lips and his mind was running away from him, near enough to
catch it again and hold it back, but he was frozen or something like that.
 
„Who said I would not?“
Jensen broke the connection and looked down on the table. There was a burning
in his eyes and it felt like losing the control and go crazy. Something was
really wrong with him. How was it possible to be normal again, when he was
going to cry about his best friend and the intensity of his feelings. This was
bad. Really bad.
And than there was Misha's hand on his cheek. Again. Soft, and warm and gentle.
And Jensen could'nt stop himself and leaned in. Into the touch and the smell
and just Misha. He closed his eyes so damn hard, he tried not to let out a deep
breath of pure relief, but he was so close to losing everything. So close to
break down.
And Misha knew. He always knew. Everything. He leaned in so close and his
breath was dancing over Jensen's face and it felt like beeing stoned.
Misha was so close that his forehead meet Jensen's and their noses touched just
for a moment.
And than his mouth doing things without permission. His tongue let out words
without asking his mind. It was too late.
„Mish..I...really..“
 
No it made no sense. But Misha knew it again. And it was like dancing in the
middle of the rain. Or seeing the first smile of his child. When Misha's lips
touched Jensen's he was gone. So far gone. He was not able to do anything. Just
sitting there, don't move and try to understand that this pressure on his lips,
were Misha's. Jensen was so close to crazyness.
And than it was over. Misha was gone but Jensen was not going to open his eyes.
He was afraid that he will never ever open his eyes again because those things
behind his closed eyes were just incredible and perfect. This was all he lived
for the last months. To have Misha that close. To feel and taste him. To hear
him breath and know that he will never go away. Never.
Misha's hand was still on his cheek and his thumb made little circles and
Jensen could hear Misha smile. It's just like that. It's in Misha's breathing
and just everywhere.
„Open your eyes Jen. It's over. I did'nt know that I am such a bad kisser.“
„You're not. Do it again.“
 
And with pure shock Jensen opened his eyes. No this was'nt true. Did he really
said that?
„I mean.. no you're not..it's just great..uhm..I am so fucked..“
„No you're not. Not now. But it's your turn now you lazy bastard.“
And it was that little moment when Jensen finally lose everything. The whole
tension broke into pieces and all the fear and all the thoughts were drifting
away like a bad dream. He opened his eyes, took hold of Misha's face and kissed
him so damn hard like there was no tomorrow, no later, nothing.

And Misha was moving against his lips. Slowly and those swollen lips were hot
and wet and Jensen started to suck on this awesome upper lip without thinking
about anything anymore. His heart was racing so fast that he was afraid it
would jump out of his chest. And when he reached with one hand into Misha's
neck, to ruffle through his hair, Misha moaned against his lips and this was
the moment Jensen was totally gone. Lost in a mess of Misha, swollen lips and
hair and heaven.
 
Misha reached forward, digged his hands into the fabric of Jensen's shirt and
pulled so damn hard at it that Jensen had to smile. This was ridicoulos. This
was awesome. This was so hot.
It was embarrassing how hard his cock was already. The whole thing was just
crazy.
So either he is going to stop this madness now, or he will be a needy, little
mess.
He pushed Misha away. Carefully because he started this. He was out of words
and when Misha searched in his face for answers, Jensen was not able to give
any, he felt the fear coming back. The fear that this maybe would risk their
friendship forever.
It was'nt worth it. None of it.
„We just can't do this Mish. I can't. I am sorry.“
 
Those blue eyes looked so damn hot. And Jensen was sure Misha felt the same
tension like he did. But he was married, he was a happy daddy and this was just
stupid.
„It's fine Jen. I get it. It was really awkward, was'nt it?“
And Jensen tried to smile but there was nothing like a smile on his face. There
was pain, heartache and so much need for just one man.
Jensen was hoping so bad that Misha would go. Leave. Than he would bury his
face in his pillow and just let go of all those emotions.
He opened his mouth to say something, but no wourds made it out. And that was
the point were Misha just was this good friend he needed the most. He pulled
Jensen in a tight hug. Chest to Chest. Warm hands on his shoulders and the warm
breath on his neck. If he just could, he would..
 
„Do you mean, Cas and Dean could do this for us?“
Misha's voice was rough and hot and Jensen clutshed into his shirt, like he was
going down or explode into pieces.
„This is stupid Mish.“
„Answer my question, Jen.“
And Jensen was thinking if this would end up well. If this game, Misha would
like to play would change anything at all. He tried so hard to say 'No they
can't.'
But it was too late.
„Yeah. Yeah, I think they could do this for us.“
 
And than Misha pushed him gentle aways, took hold of his face and from one
minute to another, it felt like Misha was gone and Jensen looked in the face of
the fallen angle.
„It's still your turn. Teach me more humanity, Dean.“
Jensen could'nt stop the moan, that escaped his lips, when the dark, raspy
voice of Cas dripped on the floor like honey. His whole body shivered and his
cock twitched in his jeans like he was seeing a really good porn video.
„Come here, as close as possible.“
First it was strange to jump into Dean. Because they don't do this often. But
after „Cas“ was as close as possible, „Dean“ was closing the last inches
between them and kissed this fallen angle, who gave up everything for just one
man, on those awesome lips.
 
And there was nothing. Just his hands and Cas', just wet, slick mouths, hot
skin, tight jeans and sucking sounds, because he can't get enough of kissing
Cas.
And Cas was everywhere. Like he always was.
And his hands were in Dean's hair and under the shirt of the hunter and Dean
was not sure if he would regret any of this. Because this was just perfect.
After all this years of desire for love and after all this pain, Dean felt
complete. Like every move of Cas was washing away the anger, the fear, the
tension, just everything. Like Cas unpacked his angle mojo again. Dean felt
something like happiness.
„Cas, please.“
He did'nt notice that he was really begging in his best Dean voice, but Cas
kissed smooth trails on his jawline and than there was a hand on the button of
his jeans and he leaned in so bad, pressed his hard, aching cock against Cas'
searching hand. He was going crazy. He really was.
Cas said something but Dean could'nt listen because the hand was inside his
jeans and there was warm skin on his slicky cock and he moaned out so loud,
that he was sure Sam would ask stupid questions tomorrow.
„You have to calm down Dean. This is not so easy like you perhabs think. I have
to figure out what I am going to do next. I said teach me more humanity, not
let me be the fool you think I am.“
Dean was crushing with his forehead against Cas'.
„Shut up man. Just grab my cock and move your fucking hand. Just do it.
Please.“
 
Cas let out a deep growl and Dean felt a wave of lust rush through his venes.
„I am not going to do this Dean. I am not the broken angle I once was, doing
everything you want me to do. Now, you listen to me. I want you to open my
trousers, but not too fast, slowly. And than you will show me what you want me
to do.“
Dean was so close to the edge, this was embarrassing. But Cas would like to
play, fine. Than he would teach him how to play.
And before Dean could open the button and the zipper of Cas jeans, the angle
moaned against his lips and Dean smiled.
„I see. You like it. That's good. Because it makes me so horny when you moan
against my lips. You know what that means Cas? I am hard and slicky and this is
better than any asia babe porn I watched. Because you're real. Do I make you
horny as well? Is your cock as hard as mine, pressing slicky against your tight
trousers, waiting for relief? Waiting for my hand to stroke him?“

Cas moved forward and closed his eyes with desire. Dean was nearly losing his
self control, watching Cas go crazy.
„Yes. Please. I need more.“
 
Slowly the hunter kissed the fallen angle on those parted lips. Now more
gentle. More sensitive because he would like to have more time. This was the
first time he did this with a guy. Not worse enough at all, it was a former
angle, begging him to stroke his cock. But he was not going to do this for him.
Not at their first time. 
„Cas, take your cock in your hand.“
And Cas opened his eyes again. Dark and aroused and Dean licked his lips,
hungry and ready to come.
„If you're going to ask any stupid question, I will pin you on the floor and
rip out your last stupid pieces of wings.“
And Dean watched how Cas opened the button and the zipper of his trousers, how
is hand moved inside the fabric and when he squeezed his cock outside and Dean
saw how hard the angle already was, it made his own cock twitch and ache
painfully.
 
Cas moved his hand slowly and somewhere in Dean's head the question grew where
the angle learned to tease himself that nice. But it was'nt important. Not now.
Dean leaned forward, kissed again those swollen, wet lips and moved his own
hand inside his jeans, grabed his own slicky cock and pulled the fabric down,
to let Cas see, how close to the edge he already was. The angle moaned against
his lips, as Dean moved his own foreskin slowly up and down and the wetness was
sounding loud in the silent room. He felt how Cas' hand moved faster and how
close they were to each other. Dean could feel the fastening breath of Cas on
his own face and he was going to lose his mind, because all of this situation
was the most hilarious thing he ever felt.
„Dean..“
Dean was so close. Hearing Cas growl his name made him shiver and nearly crack
into pieces.
He pressed his sweaty forehead against Cas' and moved his hand faster, rougher.
„Man, I am going to come.“
And Cas let out a whimper and their slicky cocks made the best sounds of the
whole world.
Dean had no idea how he found words to speed this up.
„Come on Cas. Gimme your hot and milky cum. I wanna hear you moan my name. Long
and deep and I wanna hear you beg me to come with you.“
And Cas moaned out loud, pressed Dean's name over his lips and Dean felt it,
saw it, how hard Cas was cumming. And it took Dean just two or three strokes
more, to cum sweaty on his own hand, pressing his forehead as hard as he could
against Cas'. His heart was beating so fast, there was no air coming in his
lungs. This orgasm made him dizzy, crazy and he could'nt remember when he felt
the last time that good.
 
„Are we good?“
The Cas' voice was gone. It was soothing again, soft, calm. Misha was back and
it was about time to send Dean back home. It was time to switch back to Jensen.
But it was rough and somehow disgusting. He had a knot in his throat and he
was'nt sure if he could answer, so he just nod carefully, because they still
were close together.
„I did'nt know that Cas is such a horny bastard. Did you?“
Misha was just awesome. Because that's it. That was everything Jensen needed to
burst out into laughter. To just be himself again. This man was so gorgeous and
brilliant. Even after a hot jerking session, he found the right words to bring
Jensen back to life.
 
„Nah, I was surprised. He was so horny for Dean. What a nerd.“
„Yeah, but Dean was such a badass. All this dirty talking. I mean hey, this
little angle was totally swamped with all those talking about cocks.“
„Really? I mean do you think so? Because he seemed to enjoy it. He was nearly
screaming Deans name.“
„Let's hope for them Sam is asleep. That would be awkward otherwise.“
„Yeah, you're right.“
 
There was silence and Misha got on his feet to grab some tissues. He held out
some of them for Jensen and after the most awkward part was gone, Misha leaned
back again amd watched Jensen carefully.
„Are you really okay?“
Jensen smiled. He still felt awesome and there was nothing left of fear and
depression.
„Yeah, I am really fine Mish. Why not?“
„Because you and me...“
 
But Jensen closed the space betweem them, put one finger on Mishas lips and
made him stop talking. It was hard to not kiss these lips again.
„No one has to know that you and I enjoyed to watch Dean and Cas jerk off,
right? This is our little, nerdy secret, right?“
And than Misha smiled.
„Right. No one. But you have to admit, it was awesome. We should do this more
often.“
First Jensen had no idea what he should answer but it was already in his mouth
and on his tongue.
„Yeah man, I had so much fun. It was incredible. We should really do this more
often. And I think Dean and Cas are totally fine with it.“
 
And Misha pushed Jensens hand away, came in as close as possible and leaned his
forehead against Jensens.
„You know what? I really love little, nerdy secrets.“
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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