Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/2472125. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: DBSK_|_Tohoshinki_|_TVfXQ_|_TVXQ Relationship: Jung_Yunho/Shim_Changmin Character: Jung_Yunho, Shim_Changmin Additional Tags: Child_Abuse, Sexual_Abuse, Physical_Abuse, Emotional/Psychological_Abuse, Psychological_Trauma, Incest, Emotional_Manipulation, Kidnapping, Underage_-_Freeform Stats: Published: 2014-10-18 Words: 8376 ****** Sound of a Tear ****** by humanitys_cutest Summary Heavy footsteps thud up the hallway, and inside their dark room, Yunho freezes. Across the room, he can hear Changmin's breathing speed up, become ragged, and knows Changmin is experiencing the same crippling fear that's crashing through him. Notes Please take the warnings seriously. If one of these is even SLIGHTLY not your thing, I recommend you don't read it. This fic is 50 shades of fucked up. There's no real happy ending here, although I suppose that's open to interpretation. Unbeta'ed, there's probably a million mistakes everywhere. (If you're interested in Bet, I just wanna let you know that the final chapter is written. My beta hasn't gotten to it yet tho, and I'm not sure how long it'll take at this point. Thanks for your patience guys ^^) Enjoy! Or don't. I don't know. Heavy footsteps thud up the hallway, and inside their dark room, Yunho freezes. Across the room, he can hear Changmin's breathing speed up, become ragged, and knows Changmin is experiencing the same crippling fear that's crashing through him. The sound of keys jingling is next, followed by the door unlocking. Light creeps in as the door opens slowly, creaking on its hinges. Yunho thinks they don't oil them on purpose. "Hello, darlings." The voice is low, murmured, slimy in a way that makes Yunho's skin crawl. His voice is always amused, as if Yunho and Changmin's terror entertains him. But of course they entertain him. Why else would anyone lock up two teenage boys and do what he does to them? Yunho wonders when their parents will save them. He doesn't know how long they've been in this dank room. It feels like years, though that can't be right. "Changmin, sweetie. Sir needs some help." Yunho hates those words. He hates Sir with a hatred he didn't think he had ever felt before, nor would ever feel. Changmin's breathing is irregular. He sounds like he's hyperventilating now. "Close your eyes, boys." Sir's voice is so soft, as if he cares about them, as if their eyes hurting is of any concern to him. Yunho hates him so much. He closes his eyes. He knows Changmin is doing the same. The lights flick on, and even through the darkened curtain of his eyelids, Yunho's eyes ache. Sir is wearing a white shirt today. White shirt days are Changmin’s days, but it might as well be Yunho’s turn to be toyed with. He hates when they entertain themselves with Changmin’s tears, even more than when they abuse Yunho. He hears a zipper being pulled down and footsteps walk across the room. Yunho cracks open his eyes slowly; he hates what he sees, hates it with an astounding passion, but he can't leave Changmin to his fate alone. Even if he can't do anything for his baby brother, not when he's handcuffed to the steel bar above his head, he can at least share some of Changmin's pain. Watching Changmin being abused is torture for him, but he refuses to let Changmin suffer alone. Sir stops in front of Changmin, a hand on his fly. Changmin is looking up at him, eyes wide and terrified, but Sir likes that. He says it makes him come faster. His other hand reaches down, and he strokes Changmin’s cheeks with a knuckle. Changmin flinches involuntarily, but Sir notices, and Changmin is rewarded with a hard slap. He’s not allowed to flinch. “Behave, or your brother will be punished.” His voice is cold. Changmin swallows and nods. Sir glances at Yunho, a smile twisting his ugly face. They’ve put Changmin there on purpose, his profile to Yunho, so that Yunho can see everything being done to his baby brother, and know that he can do nothing about it. “Your brother is so lovely, Yunho. So cute and pretty.” The words are scraping against Yunho’s eardrums. He wishes Sir would shut up, would stop tormenting him with his brother’s lost innocence. Changmin turns his head to look at him. Yunho hasn’t seen his face for a while, they’ve been in the dark for so long. Yunho rakes his eyes over his face, tries to check for injuries even though he knows Changmin’s hurt doesn’t show on his skin. They never make him bleed, or hurt him physically with the exception of a slap here and there. Yunho doesn’t know if he prefers it to what they do to him. Sir’s hands are still caressing Changmin’s cheeks, which still have baby fat despite being underfed and sometimes starved for God knows how long. The rest of his body has become rail thin, but his cheeks are still strangely chubby. It makes him look disproportionate, alien, and Yunho struggles to choke back on a sob just looking at him. Changmin’s never done anything to deserve this. Neither of them have; they just had the misfortune to be born to insanely wealthy parents, and catch the eyes of a group of greedy perverts who got off on teenagers' fears. Sir turns Changmin’s head back to him, and his hands are almost gentle. “Open your mouth, my pretty.” Changmin obeys, opens his mouth as wide as he can to accommodate Sir’s girth. “Good boy,” Sir murmurs softly, and continues stroking his face gently. Yunho wants to rip his lungs out. Then Sir takes himself out of his pants, and begins to stroke himself to full hardness. Changmin watches, as if he can’t force himself to look away from the thing that makes up his nightmares. Sir slides a hand into Changmin's thick, dirty hair, brings Changmin’s mouth closer. Changmin squeezes his eyes shut, his fists clench from where they are cuffed to the metal bar above him, and closes his lips around Sir’s erection. Yunho watches, because he can’t look away from the violation to his little brother taking place in front of him, hasn’t been able to since the first day they were stolen from their parents and brought here, to this dark, damp, hell hole. Sir begins to thrust, nothing about his movements gentle or slow. He always does that, starts hard and fast and unrelenting. Changmin tries to stay still, be quiet, not shy away, because it always gets worse when he does. He’s still and quiet, and tears leak out of his pretty brown eyes, shut so tightly. It's happened so many times now, but Changmin still always cries. Yunho shifts restlessly, making the handcuffs clink against the metal bars, the movement sending small shocks of pain along his back. He’s sure some of the wounds have opened up again, and sure enough he feels a trickle of thick liquid down his spine, but it’s nothing compared to how much his heart is aching. He wishes they’d do whatever it was they wanted to him, not to Changmin, never to Changmin, but Yunho’s just their punching bag. It’s Changmin who is forced to take their cocks in his mouth, swallow their come, sometimes from more than four of them a day. He wishes he could snap these handcuffs from around his wrists, wrap the chain around Sir’s neck and cut off the air that flows into his lungs, maybe even slice his head right off. He can’t do that, but he can kick at Sir’s feet, because they’re within kicking distance, and he can least knock him off his feet and away from Changmin. But he doesn’t do that, because the first time he had done that, they had just sent in more men to fuck Changmin’s mouth. He doesn’t know how much there had been, they had just kept coming. Yunho had watched in horror as Changmin cried and cried and Yunho had cried with him while they thrust in his mouth and made him gag on their cocks and swallow until he was choking on it. Changmin had tried not to make them angrier, but when he couldn’t swallow anymore they just came all over his face. Sometimes that was all they fed him. Sir is cruel, but at least he’s just one. When Yunho behaves, he doesn’t call in his friends. Lesser of two evils. Yunho remembers they had taken pictures that time. They had taken pictures of Changmin with come all over his face, mixing with his tears, looking miserable and terrified and shaking so badly Yunho could see it from where he had been handcuffed. Yunho supposes they sent the pictures to their parents. He wonders what was taking them so long. Didn’t they care? Those weren’t the only pictures they sent them. Even though he had been half- dead at the time, Yunho remembers when they took pictures of his broken and bloody back after they had finished breaking in their new whip. They had told Yunho they had bought it just for him. That had been when Changmin had bitten Sir’s cock in his fear the first time Sir had tried to fuck his mouth. Sir had screamed obscenities, slapped his face so hard Changmin’s neck had snapped to the side, and then yelled for a whip. Changmin had looked terrified, but when the whip was handed to Sir, and Sir turned away from Changmin and walked to Yunho, he had looked downright horrified. They had stripped Yunho of his shirt, forced him on his stomach, all four limbs held down by different goons, and then cracked the whip over his back. Yunho had screamed until his voice was hoarse, and when he couldn’t scream anymore, he could hear Changmin sobbing and begging them to stop, that he was sorry, that he wouldn’t do it again. They had figured out pretty quick that they could get each of them to behave by threatening the other. Yunho didn't care if he got hurt, but the second they touched Changmin he was powerless. The same was true of Changmin. He knew it and they knew it, and they used it against both of them. They had stopped, and soon after Yunho had passed out, but not before he heard the clicks of a camera and saw the flashes. After that, they would take pictures regularly - Yunho doesn't know how often, because there aren't any windows in their room - and Yunho guess it's to show their parents their sons' deterioration. Yunho is almost sorry his parents have to see their sons like that. But then Sir would come in angry, some days, wearing a black shirt, and Yunho hates black shirt days so much. They mean a vicious beating for him and constant mouth fucking for Changmin. When he's angry, Sir screams about how their parents have fucked up, how they'll never see their kids again, how Yunho and Changmin don't deserve to live when their parents are such greedy bastards, and why should they have two pretty, perfect sons on top of everything they already have? On those days Yunho really hates his parents. Sir's grunt snaps Yunho back to the room, and a second later he comes. Changmin swallows it all, doesn't make a face at the taste or anything, doesn't even make a sound. He licks Sir's cock clean, and earns a pat on the head. Silent tears still make their way down his face, and when Sir moves away he hangs his head. Yunho knows it's because he's ashamed, but he wishes he could make Changmin understand that he isn't ashamed of him. Sir tucks himself back in, slides a hand through Changmin's hair again. Then he turns to Yunho. "Yunho, we have a surprise for you." His smile is chilling, and Yunho is terrified. "I'll be back in a while." Yunho doesn't know if the words are supposed to sound threatening or not. Sir takes out his ring of keys, and releases Changmin and then Yunho. They both bring down their hands, rubbing their wrists, but keep their eyes on Sir. He doesn't like when their attention isn't on him. After that he leaves without a word. Two trays of “food” are placed near the door, and then it's locked from the other side, just as it has been every day since they were kidnapped. As soon as he hears the lock click into place, Yunho lurches up and grabs both bottles of water from the trays. At least the water has always come in closed bottles. He comes to Changmin quickly and falls to his knees in front of him. Changmin watches him with dull eyes as he opens one of the bottles and brings it to Changmin's lips. He urges Changmin's head back and tips the water in slowly. Only when he has drank half the bottle in tiny sips is Yunho satisfied, and then finally take a drink for himself. His throat is parched, and the cool water feels like heaven sliding down his throat. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand when he's done with the bottle, tossing it aside and reaching for the other to drink with their sparse food. He gets back up to get the trays of food. Today it's two small rolls of bread with a few pieces of meat. He feeds it to Changmin, who stopped eating sometime after the third session with Sir. If Yunho didn't make him eat, he wouldn't, so Yunho alternates between the two of them, one bite for Changmin, one bite for himself. He tries to sneak Changmin a few extra pieces, but apparently he was paying attention to the order of bites, because he would have none of it. "Hyung," he says, and his voice is hoarse, tired. It's the first word he's heard from Changmin in a long time, and it makes him ache. He doesn't know how long, because there's no way to tell time when it's always pitch black. Yunho tries again anyway, but Changmin turns his head to the side like a petulant child, so Yunho sighs and gives up. The food isn't enough to fill the stomachs of two growing boys, it never is, but he supposes it's better than nothing. When Yunho’s done feeding them both, he leaves both trays by the door like they've told him to do. Then he coaxes Changmin to get up a little, walk around the room so their muscles wouldn't deteriorate completely. Yunho knows it's not enough, and he knows Changmin knows it too, but he comforts Changmin - and himself - by convincing him that if they need to make a quick getaway, they would need to be able to walk at least. Changmin goes along with it, as he always does with whatever Yunho says. They make it around the room, Yunho's arm wrapped around him for support, almost ten times before Changmin needs to sit down, his breathing labored. Yunho’s back twinges with pain every step of the way, but he doesn’t let it show, because if he does then Changmin would be even more upset. Yunho huddles next to him, wraps an arm around his waist and kisses his temple. Changmin grips his other hand tightly, and his head falls on Yunho's shoulder. Yunho stays still so Changmin can sleep, even if they have to go back to being handcuffed soon. Sure enough, a while later the lights flicker, and Changmin snaps awake. Yunho soothes him from whatever he was dreaming of, murmuring in his ear. "Handcuffs, Changminnie." Changmin lifts his arms obediently, even though he still looks disoriented. Yunho snaps the handcuffs closed, being careful not to catch any of Changmin's skin. Sir isn't always so careful, and there are scars on Changmin's wrists as a result, just like his own. Yunho goes back to his own spot and handcuffs himself, bringing his hands close together to get the other handcuff closed. The lights turn off, and Yunho and Changmin go back to being silent.  *** When Yunho was in the tenth grade, he took a beginner course in psychology. In it, they had learned about a man named Pavlov and his dogs. Pavlov trained his dogs to salivate to the sound of a bell by ringing the bell and then presenting the dogs with food. Eventually the dogs came to associate the ringing of a bell with food, and would automatically salivate when they heard the bell, even when there weren't any signs of food. Some time later, when footsteps thud up the hallway, and keys jingle, and Yunho feels his heart start racing and hears Changmin's breathing become ragged, he sort of feels like Pavlov's dogs.  *** Sir is here again. And he's not alone. He brings two men with him, and Yunho sees Changmin tense up out of the corner of his eyes. They don't reach for their flies though. Sir gestures to the men, and they come forward. Yunho shrinks away from them, but they don't touch him. Instead, they unlock his handcuffs, which is worse, because they only do that when they whip him. "So Yunho. I told you I have a surprise for you today." Yunho doesn't know what to say, so he says nothing. The men go to Changmin and do the same for him. Yunho rubs his hands on his wrists. "Say thank you, Yunho." "Thank you," Yunho says automatically. "Follow me, both of you. Don't try anything, they'll both be behind you," Sir says, nodding his head towards the other two men. Yunho jerks his head in something that resembles a nod, and then slowly reaches for Changmin, keeping his eyes on Sir to see if he'll be angry. Sir just watches them, so he assumes it's okay when Changmin scrambles to his side, fingers clutching at his tattered shirt. Yunho slides an arm around his waist and keeps him close. Sir turns around then, walking out of the room, and Yunho and Changmin follow. It's the first time they've stepped outside the room since they got here. Yunho hopes they don't have to go too far, because he doesn't think Changmin could stay on his feet for long. He tightens his grip, ready to catch Changmin should he falter. The hallways are dark and quiet, their footsteps loud against the cement floor, twisting around several bends and up three flights of stairs before Sir stops in front of a door that looks like all the others. Yunho’s back hurts so much he wants to cry. He can hear Changmin breathing hard. He holds his hand tighter, trying to reassure the both of them. Sir unlocks the door, and then steps inside. The two men behind them nudge them when they hesitate, so they walk quickly in before they get rougher. The room is ordinary and sparsely decorated. There’s a huge, soft looking bed in the center of the room, placed between two windows. A desk and chair sit next to the door, snug in a corner. A leather armchair is placed against the left wall, facing the bed. There are two doors, one leading to what Yunho assumes is the closet. The other could be a bathroom, but Yunho isn’t sure. They haven’t seen sunlight in so long. It looks like it always has, like Yunho’s entire world hasn’t shattered to pieces, and the world is doing just fine. Yunho looks away. Sir points to one of the doors, the one Yunho wasn’t sure about. “That’s a bathroom. Go shower and clean yourselves up. There’s clothes in the closet too. I’ll be back in an hour.” And with that, he and the two other men turn around and walk out, locking the door from the other side. Yunho is still holding Changmin’s hand, wondering what the fuck just happened. He only snaps out of it when Changmin’s hand slides out of his, and can no longer feel his body heat. He turns his head to the side quickly, but everything’s fine, Changmin is just looking out the window, both palms flat against the glass. Yunho joins him, and they both stare outside. The ground is a long way down, but Yunho never had any hope of escaping. “Changmin?” he says softly. His little brother is staring outside so intently. He sees Changmin swallow. “I wanna go outside, hyung.” Yunho glances back out. “I know, Changminnie. Me too.” He takes one of Changmin’s hands again, bringing them down and slowly rubbing his thumb in circles across the back. Changmin continues to stare outside. “Maybe...maybe they’re letting us go home now.” Changmin’s head snaps towards him. “Really?” “I don’t know. Maybe. They never let us shower before.” The small bathroom they had in “their” room only had a toilet and a sink, no shower or tub. It was difficult to clean yourself with water from the sink, so they had to settle for just keeping their hands, arms, and faces clean. Sometimes Changmin would help him wash away the blood from his beatings, but they hurt, so neither of them touched his back much. Yunho is sure he’s developed infections, but he’s always in so much pain it’s hard to tell the reason for it. Changmin’s eyes are wide. “Do you think Mom and Dad finally came for us? I hope they have. I wanna go home, hyung.” Yunho pulls him closer and kisses his temple. “Me too. Come on, let’s shower before they change their minds.” Changmin follows him obediently to the bathroom, where they find a standing shower and a two sink countertop. It’s nothing like the bathrooms they have at home, but it’s clean and shiny, and at this point cleanliness is all that mattered to Yunho. He makes Changmin go first, giving him the shampoo and soap left on the countertop. When Changmin strips out of his dirty clothes to step into the shower, Yunho looks at his skinny body and aches. Changmin has never been chubby, but at least his ribs never showed. He leaves when the water turns on to find Changmin some clothes. The closet is halfway full of boy’s clothes. Yunho picks out two plain colored t-shirts and simple jeans. He rummages around for boxers, and when he finds some in the back of the closet he almost smiles. They look and smell new, so Yunho takes two pairs and goes back to the bathroom. He puts the clothes he picked for Changmin on the counter, and then tells him he’ll be waiting outside. “Wait, hyung, no don’t go!” Changmin says suddenly, opening the shower door. Water is dripping down his hair into his face, and some of it lands outside the stall. He looks panicked. “Okay, okay, I’ll stay in here. Go on and finish,” Yunho says quickly, hoisting himself onto the counter. When Changmin is reassured, he closes the door again and goes back to washing. Yunho waits patiently. The water turns off a while later, and then Changmin steps out of the shower. His body is clean, hair wet and dripping down his chest and back. Changmin even looks a little happier, his eyes bright and shiny. Yunho smiles for the first time since they’ve been brought here, a real honest- to-God smile. He didn’t think it would ever be possible again, but here was his baby brother, making him smile like he always could. Yunho hands him a towel, and then Changmin reaches for the clothes Yunho got for him and dresses himself. Then he looks at Yunho. “What?” Changmin cocks his head to the side. “Aren’t you going to shower?” "Yeah, just waiting for you to finish.” “Well, I’m done.” He doesn’t make any move to leave the bathroom, though. Yunho sighs. “Are you gonna stay in here?” Changmin looks down, hands behind his back, and Yunho knows his twisting his fingers. “I don’t wanna…” Of course he doesn’t want to be outside alone. But Yunho doesn’t want to take off his shirt in front of Changmin, because he’s afraid of what he’ll find. He sighs again and rubs a hand down his face. “Okay, fine, you can stay here.” Gingerly, he reaches for the hem of his crappy shirt and lifts it, being careful not to let it touch his back unnecessarily. It doesn’t matter, though, because every movement hurts. He has no idea how he’s going to shower. When the shirt is off and on the ground, Changmin lets out a shocked gasp as his eyes widen, and he walks around to Yunho’s back. He figured Changmin would, so he just takes a deep breath and looks in the mirror. And sees exactly why Changmin reacted that way. His back is raw, red, bloody crisscrosses making their way across his spine and shoulder blades. Some of the wounds have scabbed over, but a majority are open and trickling blood, and Yunho wonders how he’s still alive. He glances away from the mirror when he hears a soft sound. Changmin is crying again, hand covering his mouth as tears make their way down his face. He looks like he’s trying hard not to sob. “Oh my God, hyung, what have they done to you?” His voice is soft and broken, and Yunho hates that. He reaches for Changmin. “It’s okay, Min-ah, it only looks bad. It doesn’t hurt much,” he lies, hugging him. Changmin is careful not to touch him back, but it looks like it’s taking a lot of effort for him to control himself. “You should clean it off,” Changmin says shakily. “Yeah.” Yunho lets go and slips his jeans off and steps into the shower quickly, out of Changmin’s view. He turns the water on, waiting for it to warm up. “I’m going to see if there’s anything to put on that, hyung.” Yunho knows there isn’t, but he grunts back an acknowledgment, and soon he hears rummaging around. He pokes his head out of the stall to see Changmin looking in the cabinets. He ducks back in and steps carefully under the water. Just as he suspected, the water stings, and he has to keep his back mostly away from the spray of water while still trying to clean most of the blood off. Soaping all of him is not an option, so he just bears with the pain as he shampoos his hair and cleans the front of his body. He feels a little better when he’s done. Blood is still sliding down his back, but there’s nothing to be done for that, so he just steps out. Changmin hands him a towel, but nothing for his back, so he assumes he didn't find anything. He then takes another one and starts on cleaning Yunho’s back gently. It hurts, but Yunho lets him get on with it. When Changmin is satisfied, he dresses carefully and then they exit the bathroom. There’s no clock in the room, so Yunho doesn’t know how long they have until Sir comes back. They sit close together on the bed to wait. The mattress is amazingly soft, and Yunho sort of wants to lie down and relieve some of the ache in his back, but he doesn’t. Some time after, the lock clicks open, and Sir steps inside. Changmin immediately presses into his side, and they stare at Sir. Yunho wonders what he’ll do to them now.  He looks them up and down, and he looks almost approving. “You boys clean up nicely.” They say nothing. “So,” Sir says conversationally as he walks across the room and drops into the leather armchair, facing them, “here’s the thing. I’ve received an...offer. From some of the men who have come to see you boys.” Yunho’s heart beat speeds up, and he clutches Changmin’s hand tighter. This can’t be anything good. Sir notices the movement. “Don’t worry, I haven’t accepted. It’s for Changmin specifically. You see,” Sir murmurs, sitting up and leaning towards them, eyeing them calculatingly, “they want Changmin. They think he’s pretty, and his mouth is so sweet. They’re willing to pay me a lot for him.” Changmin is starting to breathe hard. Yunho’s heart is in his throat, and he tries to swallow it back down, but it’s no use. No, they can’t take Changmin, please don’t take Changmin. “And I won’t give Changmin to them. On one condition.” It’s too early to sigh in relief, so Yunho waits for the other shoe to drop. “I want you to fuck Changmin, Yunho. And I’m going to watch.” Yunho stops breathing. “Wh-what?” he chokes out. “You can decide, Yunho. Do you want me to sell Changmin to these men, who will no doubt use him to make some money, or would you rather keep him for yourself and let me watch? It’s up to you.” Sir is so calm, so rational, as if it’s perfectly normal to ask a boy to fuck his baby brother or sell him to sex slave traders, and Yunho hates him so much he can’t breathe. Yunho feels sick. “I’ll give you some time to decide,” Sir says, as if he is bestowing Yunho a great favor.  He gets up and leaves, which is just as well, because Yunho doesn’t know if he could have stopped himself from launching at him, which would have only put them in a more dangerous position. There’s silence for the longest time when he’s gone. They don't move from the bed, stay seated side by side. Changmin is motionless and quiet, and Yunho dares not look at him, terrified of what he’ll find. What is he supposed to do? “Hyung.” Yunho makes a sound, unable to form words. “Hyung please don’t let them take me away,” Changmin says, and when Yunho finally looks at him, he’s staring back, brown eyes full of unshed tears. He looks so scared, so afraid, and an overwhelming sense of hopelessness washes over Yunho, drags him down and makes him despair, because what the fuck is he supposed to do? He draws his arms across Changmin’s shoulders and hugs him tightly, trying not to cry. Changmin cries though, and God, Yunho hates his tears so much, wishes he could murder every single person who has ever made him cry. His thin shoulders are shaking and he’s gasping wetly into Yunho’s shirt, clutching at him tightly. “Hyung hyung hyung please don’t let them take me, please hyung, I don’t want them touching me,” Changmin chants, over and over again. “Changdola, don’t cry, they won’t, I won’t let them,” he finds himself saying, desperate to calm Changmin. Of course that means he’d be the one essentially raping his little brother, but Yunho doesn’t want to think about that, so he forces it from his mind. “Hyung, I’d rather it was you than them,” Changmin says, looking up at him. His eyes are still watery, but at least he’s not sobbing anymore. Yunho doesn’t know what to say to that, but only one thing keeps surfacing in his mind and that’s what comes out. “Changmin, we’re brothers,” he whispers, but even as he says it he knows it doesn’t matter, because he would never let them get their dirty hands on Changmin, not if he could help it. It doesn’t matter what social taboos they’d be breaking, because Changmin is Yunho’s brother and he will not let him be sold to traders. Why would anyone do this to a fourteen year old boy? A second later he realizes he doesn’t even know if Changmin is still fourteen or if he turned fifteen. He knows they were taken the day after New Years, but he doesn’t know how long they’ve been here. If Changmin is fifteen, then that means Yunho’s seventeen. And why is he thinking about useless stuff when it doesn’t absolutely nothing to help them? “Yunho hyung?” Yunho snaps out of it and looks back down at Changmin. His little brother is rubbing a hand across his eyes, and then looking up at him. “What are you gonna do?” he whispers, and he sounds so small. Yunho looks down at his hands. “What do you want me to do?” “Don’t let them take me, hyung,” is Changmin’s immediate reply. Yunho exhales through his nose. "Okay, Changminnie," he whispers. Sir comes back a while later, and takes his previous seat. "So, Yunho, what'll it be?" He's staring at them, and everything about the way he's staring is so wrong. So calculating, cunning and sharp and scary. He tightens his grip around Changmin. "They can't have him," he says, and he wishes his voice weren't so shaky and obviously frightened, but what can he do? He's just a dumb, rich, sixteen- maybe-seventeen year old kid who's been so beaten down he doesn't have the energy for anything more strenuous than walking. They're not afraid of him. Sir smiles in satisfaction, and it looks so much like a lion sizing up his prey. "So you'll fuck him, will you?" Yunho clenches his jaw and says nothing, staring down at his hands. "I asked you a question, Yunho." Now Sir's voice is cold and hard, and Yunho looks up quickly. "Yes, Sir." "Yes, what?" Yunho stalls, unable to say it. Changmin squeezes his hand. "Let's try that again. What will you do to your younger brother, Yunho?" Yunho swallows hard. "I'm going to fuck him," he whispers, and the tears threaten to fall all over again. "Very good," Sir says, satisfied, and leans back, sitting like a king on his throne. He raises a hand, gesturing to them. "Get on with it then. Take off your clothes." Yunho feels his heart stop. Beside him, he can feel Changmin freeze. "N-now?" Sir raises an eyebrow. "Of course now. Did you think I brought you here for fun? Get to it." Yunho tries to control his breathing, he really does, but it's no use. He's going to have a heart attack if he doesn't calm down, and what use is he to Changmin then? He turns to Changmin slowly. They stare at each other for a few minutes. Somehow, Sir says nothing. And then Changmin moves. And reaches for his shirt. "Come on, hyung," he whispers, tugging on his sleeve, and he looks so scared, but the alternative is so much worse, and that's what finally makes Yunho move. He can't let them touch his little brother. He looks back at Sir. "Lube?" he asks, praying he won't have to rape his brother dry. It seems like the sort of thing Sir would get off on. But thankfully, Sir points lazily to the bedside table, and Yunho stands up to rifle through it for the lube. He stares at Changmin some more, because he can't believe this, is he really about to fuck his brother? "Undress your brother, Changmin," Sir says quietly, dangerously. Changmin gets up slowly, and then reaches for Yunho's shirt. He's careful as he drags it up his body, and Yunho lifts his arms so Changmin can pull it off his head. He keeps eye contact the entire time, and Yunho can't bring himself to look away. The shirt drops to the floor, and then Changmin reaches for his zipper.  *** Everything's muted. Yunho can't hear anything, and he has no idea why, and he thinks this should worry him, but he doesn't care. The images are too much.  *** Changmin's crying. He can see it so plainly, and of course he should. He's the one on top of Changmin, isn't he? He's got VIP seats to the physical evidence of his brother's pain. There's only so much lube can do, after all.  *** Yunho wonders if tears make a sound when they fall, if they make any sort of noise when they hit something solid and break into pieces. Changmin's eyes are shut tightly. *** There's a ringing in his ears. It's low, at first, but then it becomes louder and louder, and someone's saying something. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Over and over again. Yunho wonders who it is. They sound broken.  *** A sharp crack cuts through the ringing. Yunho can feel some sort of pain, but it's faint. Changmin opens his eyes. He's still crying. His pretty brown eyes are filled with pain, and something else, and now he's opening his mouth. Yunho thinks he's trying to tell him something, but he can't hear anything except the ringing and the occasional crack, and he tries to tell Changmin this but all that comes out is I'm sorry I'm sorry. Yunho thinks that's okay. He is sorry, after all.  *** "Hyung!" Yunho's head snaps to the side, and a second later he realizes Changmin has slapped him. Dazed, Yunho looks back down at him. "Hyung be quiet!" Changmin sounds desperate. Suddenly Yunho notices his back is on fire, and why else, but because Sir is whipping him. He's not sure why though, because he's doing what he asked. He can feel Changmin's tight heat around him, and it's too much, it's burning him up. "Shut up, Yunho!" That's Sir's voice, and he sounds furious, and suddenly Yunho understands, but he doesn't stop saying sorry to Changmin even as he thrusts back in. And then Changmin wraps his arms around Yunho's back, and when the next lash falls across both his arms and he yelps in pain, Yunho finally shuts up.  *** Strangely, things get better after that. They feed the both of them more, and they get to shower more. Yunho doesn't get whipped, and no one makes Changmin suck their cock. Of course, that's only as long as they continue to fuck, and Sir watches. After Sir had orgasmed that first time, Yunho and Changmin were led back to their room. Changmin couldn't walk properly, and Yunho tried to help, but he couldn't exactly pick Changmin up. His back was on fire. They hadn't been handcuffed, and Changmin spent a long time curled into Yunho's side. Yunho doesn't know why; he raped Changmin, his brother should want to be as far away from him as possible. And yet Changmin still sat next to him and leaned against him, and when his discomfort became too much, Yunho pulled him onto his lap so he wouldn't have to sit on the hard floor. Changmin went along willingly. And when Sir had come back, after they had been given food and water, he had asked Changmin one question, "Do you want me or do you want your hyung?" Changmin's response had been immediate: "Hyung." Now here they were, living in the room Yunho regularly fucked his brother in until he came inside him. They still don't know what day it is, but they can tell how many days go by in their new room. Changmin counts by the rising and setting of the sun; Yunho counts by how many times he's raped his brother. Changmin seems...better. He still clings to Yunho when Sir is in the room, but when he's gone, Changmin is more relaxed, calmer, somehow. He talks to Yunho more as they wait for the time to drag by, because they're allowed to do that now, and his eyes are not quite as dull as they used to be. But as Changmin gets the tiniest bit better, Yunho gets worse, and now it's Changmin who has to force Yunho to eat and feed it to him when he refuses. He always gives in when Changmin bursts into tears though. Yunho's back begins to heal, and just wants to go home.  *** And then miraculously, things happen. Sir bursts into their room on the twenty-first day, clearly agitated and angry. He has four men with him. As soon as he sees them, he stalks across the room and grabs Changmin, pushing him towards the desk. He handcuffs him for the first time in a long time, to the metal poles holding up one side of the desk. And then he takes off his belt, and signals to his goons, and suddenly Yunho is on his stomach, limbs splayed out and shirt ripped off and the belt is snapped across his back, and Yunho can feel the skin breaking. Somehow, he knows Sir is not going to stop today, but he blacks out before he can find out. Faintly, he hears yelling and loud bangs.  *** The first time he wakes up, he's in a white room, and there's something around his mouth. Everything's blurry and aching though, so Yunho goes back to sleep.  *** The next time he wakes up, he feels a little better. There's still something around his mouth, but now he can see Changmin sitting next to him, so he decides he doesn't care. "Changmin?" he rasps. His voice is hoarse. Changmin's heads turns quickly to him, and shifts closer, smiling softly. "Hey hyung," he whispers. Yunho wants to smile back, because he hasn't seen that smile in so long, but even that small action takes so much effort, so he doesn't. "Go back to sleep, hyung. We're safe now."  Yunho goes back to sleep, soothed by Changmin's hand in his.  ***   When he wakes next, Changmin explains to him that they're in a hospital. The police had finally found them and bought them away, to the hospital. Yunho asks about their parents, and Changmin tells him he saw them before Yunho woke up and they were with the both of them all week, but Yunho's been in a coma for a week and they finally had to go home to refresh themselves. Changmin called them the minute he woke up, and they're on their way now. "Were you sleeping here with me?" Yunho asks. They took the thing off his mouth now that he can breathe on his own, but staying awake for long still exhausts him. Changmin points to his bed, which Yunho hadn't noticed before. It's on Yunho's left, further from the door. But why does Changmin still have a bed in the hospital? "Are you hurt?" Yunho asks, starting to panic. He can hear the heart rate monitor picking up. Changmin stands up quickly and leans over him, kissing his cheek. "No, no, they just want to make sure I'm perfectly fine. Relax hyung. I'm okay." He really does look okay, so Yunho lets it go. Their parents soon run into their room after that, and Yunho bursts into tears when he sees them. They wrap around him, being careful not to upset any of the many needles hooked up to him or touch any of his injuries. He can feel his mother's tears on his cheeks, saying, "Oh thank God, thank God, Yunho, you're okay, my baby boy," over and over again. His father's eyes are closed as he kisses the crown of Yunho's head again and again, holding him close. Yunho hugs them back as best as he can and cries.  *** Yunho recovers slowly, and when he finally goes home, it's April and the rains have been coming down hard, giving life to the patches of dead grass as they came back to life. Everything is slowly turning green, and Yunho feels a little bit like the plants.  *** "Hyung?" That's Changmin's quiet voice, as it's wont to be at this time of the night. The bodyguards never tell him no when he comes to Yunho's bedroom door every night. Yunho knows it's because their parents told them to let Changmin in, but a part of him suspects they simply can't say no to the Bambi eyes when they're turned up at them. "Come in, Changmin." He hears the door lock, and then Changmin pads across the room, his footsteps muffled by the thick carpeting. “I couldn’t sleep,” he says apologetically as he climbs into Yunho’s bed, just as he has every night for the entire week since Yunho came back home from the hospital. “It’s okay, me neither,” Yunho replies, turning the covers back so he can crawl into them. Changmin snuggles against him, wrapping his arms around Yunho’s waist. It’s been a long time when they were rescued, but it’s still difficult to be around other people. Neither he nor Changmin say anything, but he can see it in Changmin’s eyes, that anxious sort of uncomfortableness when they’re in a room surrounded by other people that aren’t their mom or dad. Their parents had fired the entire previous staff of bodyguards and hired double the amount of new ones, but Yunho still doesn’t feel safe. He wonders if he ever will. After all, he should’ve been perfectly safe in his bedroom the night the kidnappers came, but they had still managed to get by the gate and the security cameras and the bodyguards. He knows their lives won't ever be the same, nor will they ever be normal. See, normal people don't hear the jingle of keys and fly into a panic attack, as Changmin did the other day when their father came home from work. Normal people don't feel their palms become sweaty or their stomachs drop unpleasantly or their breathing become ragged because they see a normal belt, as Yunho does when his mother lays out an outfit for him. But that's okay. He can get used to that. He's not relaxed now, but he will be. Soon. Hopefully. The only time he feels completely relaxed is when it’s just him and Changmin. He knows Changmin is the same way. And if both of them sleep better when they’re in the same bed, who could blame them? Their parents certainly had no complaints when they found them that first day back in Yunho’s room. The both of them were wrapped around each other, buried in Yunho’s blankets. Their mom and dad had been happy they were back, and sleeping in the same bad didn’t seem all that strange to them. They were brothers. Nothing wrong with two brothers sleeping together after being through something so traumatic. If only they knew what Yunho and Changmin did every night before they slept. Sure enough, Yunho feels Changmin’s hand drift lower. He’s not in the mood tonight. He wraps a hand around Changmin’s wrist. “Changmin, stop.” Changmin looks at him. “Why?” “Not in the mood.” Changmin sits up, turning over to rest on his hands and knees as he looks down at Yunho. “What’s wrong?” Yunho sighs and shifts onto his back. He stares at the ceiling, but Changmin doesn’t say anything. “Look, we need to stop,” he says finally. “Why?” Yunho grits his teeth. “Because, Changmin, we’re brothers. We’re not supposed to do this. And don’t say we did it fine before,” he adds when Changmin opens his mouth. “The circumstances are different. You’re not being threatened now.” Changmin is silent for a moment. “Is this about that thing again?” Yunho says nothing. Changmin shifts closer, until his head appears in Yunho’s view. “Yunho, I told you. I’m willing. It’s not rape if I want to.” Yunho snorts. He’s heard this before. “Would you still be so willing if all of that shit hadn’t happened in the first fucking place?” Changmin bites his lips and then moves away. Great, now he’s upset him. Changmin hates it when he starts cursing. He sighs and sits up too, but he doesn’t look at Changmin. “This is wrong, Min- ah,” he says quietly. “I don’t care,” Changmin replies just as quietly. Yunho drops his head in his hands and rubs his face. “Look, it’s-” “It’s not fair.” “What?” “I said it’s not fair.” “What’s not fair?” “Everything. Everything they did is not fair, hyung. Do you know what I dream about?” If they’re anything like his nightmares, Yunho doesn’t want to know. “I keep seeing his face, hyung. I know they found him and locked him up and he’s never gonna be let out of prison, but I’m still terrified that somehow he’s gonna break out and get to us again. And he’s gonna make me do all those things before you, hyung.” Yunho is silent. “You know what’s not fair? That I’ll never enjoy sex with anyone else ever again, hyung. Just thinking about another person touching me makes my skin crawl. I don’t want to be near anyone else, hyung. I don’t trust anyone else.” Changmin exhales loudly, and then says quietly, “I trustyou, hyung.” Yunho closes his eyes. Changmin’s right. It’s not fair, that something that feels so good has been so thoroughly and utterly ruined for him. It’s not fair that his brother was the one to take his virginity, and it’s not fair that there’s a real possibility he may never have sex with anyone else ever again. “Hyung, please. I only trust you.” Yunho gives in. He reaches for Changmin, and Changmin comes quickly, willingly. He straddles Yunho’s lap and drops kisses all over his face. When he reaches for Yunho’s waistband again, he doesn’t stop him. Changmin shimmies down the bed, pulling Yunho’s pants down as he goes. Yunho lifts his hips to help, and when Changmin’s lips close around his half-hard cock, he lets out a sigh of pleasure and drops his head back against the pillow. This is so wrong on so many levels. Yunho shouldn’t get hard thinking about his brother’s mouth on him, but he does, and Changmin knows it. He sucks and licks and when Yunho’s cock hits the back of his throat, he swallows. Yunho nearly shouts, but muffles himself with his hand before he gets too loud. Changmin’s hands are tight on his hips, holding him down as he bobs his head. He swirls his tongue around the slit, collecting all the beads of pre-come, and before long Yunho can feel that growing ball of fire in his abdomen. Changmin is really good at this, and Yunho tries not to think about why. The suction proves to be too much, and Yunho tugs on Changmin’s head, but Changmin continues to suck, so Yunho takes it as permission to come in his mouth. A second later he does, a moan spilling from his lips as he shoots down Changmin’s mouth and Changmin swallows it all. He pops off Yunho’s cock and licks it clean, and then looks at Yunho. Panting, Yunho tugs his hair gently until Changmin crawls up his body and kisses him. “Was that good, hyung?” Yunho nods, unable to form words yet, and reaches into Changmin’s pants. He wraps his hand around Changmin’s erection, but Changmin is so turned on it only takes a few strokes until he’s coming hot and wet into Yunho’s hand. He groans into Yunho’s neck, his hot breath coming wetly over Yunho’s sweaty skin and making him shiver. Wordlessly, he reaches over for the tissue on his bedside table and cleans his hand and Changmin’s cock, and then throws them out in the garbage next to his bed. Changmin lies down next to him, using Yunho’s bicep as a pillow. After a few seconds of silence, he looks up. “Are you mad me, hyung?” he asks softly, and he looks anxious, although he’s trying not to show it. “No, I’m not mad at you,” Yunho says, and leans in to kiss Changmin’s lips. Changmin responds eagerly, and soon they’re both drifting to sleep. He’s mad at a lot of people. But his little brother isn’t one of them. He goes to sleep.     Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!