Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/514344. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Supernatural_RPF Relationship: Jensen_Ackles/Jared_Padalecki, Jared_Padalecki/Original_Male_Character, Jared_Padalecki/Original_Female_Character Additional Tags: Alternate_Universe, Vampires, Underage_Sex, Age_Difference, Blood Drinking Stats: Published: 2012-09-11 Completed: 2013-02-17 Chapters: 7/7 Words: 23152 ****** Soul Deep ****** by alycat Summary Finding your soulmate is one thing, but Jared learns that sometimes faith is a cruel mistress and can take perfection away from you. He is sure that patience will one day bring his soulmate back to him and when that day comes, he will not be robbed of forever. Notes Original warnings and notes from Livejournal: Pairing, rating & kinks: J2 (very slight Jared/omc and Jared/ofc) - NC-17 - underage (Jensen 12-13), age difference, vampires, blood- play. Written for this_prompt found at [http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif?v=96.4] spnkink_meme. ***** Chapter 1 ***** - 1903 - The town stretched out beneath him and from his position, half hidden behind the statues lining the church roof, he could see much and hear even more. It was a good position for him, the human's beneath didn't bother to look up, not in the light drizzle that weighed down the night. And it was easier for him to keep his calm when he was too high up to be able to smell the blood pumping through fragile human bodies. The mere thought of that warm blood was enough for his teeth to turn sharp and a hot pulse rushing sluggishly through his veins and a part of him ached to get down there and sink his teeth into tender flesh. "Jared..." A smile stretched his lips when he heard the sound of his name from far below, barely more than a whisper and yet clear enough for him to be able to pick it up. Jared threw a few looks around to make sure no one was looking, then he stepped off his ledge, landing soundlessly on the ground just behind the man that had called his name. Jared managed to put his hands on slender hips before the man had even registered his presence. "Oh, God! You need to stop doing that." Jared spun the man around and pressed him up against the church wall, tilting his head to the side until he could drag his lips over the beating pulsepoint. "Good evening, Alexander," he mumbled against soft skin. Despite the darkness of the night Jared had no problems seeing the smile that stretched Alexander's lips, no fear in the green eyes that looked up at him, as had been the case since the first time they met there was nothing in Alexander's eyes but devotion. "I'm ready," Alexander said softly, one hand finding its way under Jared's thigh length coat to rest against his waist. "You keep saying that, but you don't know what you ask for," Jared said but he couldn't find it in himself to move away from the human. It wasn't the first time they had that very argument, not the first time Alexander had asked Jared to turn him and Jared knew it wouldn't be the last one. He might know that Alexander was his mate, one half of a whole, but to take the final step and actually turn him was something Jared kept pushing into the future. "Will you do it?" Alexander asked, taking a step back. "I need to know. You told me what you are and...you made me fall for you. You can't just leave me like this." "I will," Jared promised. "But not now. Not yet. Alexander, you're... there's..." "As long as you will one day," Alexander interrupted. "That's all I need to know." Jared nodded and for a brief moment he let himself dip down to press a kiss to Alexander's lips, marveling in how soft the man's mouth felt against his. He pulled back and looked around, making sure that no one saw them before he wrapped one arm firmly around Alexander's waist and pushed off the ground. Reaching up to grab the top of the church door was easy, even with the added weight of his mate in his arms and from there it was just a few simple leaps for him to get the both of them back to his hidden little nook. Alexander clung to him, his breathing coming out fast and panicked and Jared could hear the rapid beating of the human's heart, the rush of blood in his veins. Blood always smelled good where it traveled through human bodies, but from the first time he had had tasted Alexander's blood, all else seemed to fade away. Standing up on the roof high above the town and surrounded by a cool mist of rain, Jared knew just what he wanted and he turned them around until Alexander's back was pressed up against the rough stone wall. "Let me," Jared said, feeling his teeth grow sharp and his entire body aching to taste. "Please," Alexander moaned, tilting his head to the side. Jared loved the way Alexander wanted it, knowing full well that the tremble that ran through the man's body wasn't only from the night cold. "We belong together," Jared said, letting his tongue press against Alexander's neck. "One day..." He didn't say more, just took a firm grip of the man he knew was his soulmate and sank his teeth into tender flesh, moaning when his mouth filled with the hot rush of blood. It didn't take much of the hot blood filling his mouth before he could feel his arousal spike, cock hardening in the way it only ever did when he drank blood. "Jared..." Alexander gasped, arching against Jared, his fingers tangling up in his hair. The blood was filling him up, rushing through his body and Jared could feel his own skin warm with each swallow and when he pressed forward he could feel that Alexander was just as hard as he was. Pulling his teeth free Jared bit down on his own tongue, pressing a drop of his own vampire blood against Alexander's neck and he could feel the bite marks fade away. "God," Alexander moaned, half sagging against the wall. "You taste...delicious," Jared said, licking away the blood that had trickled down his human's neck. He would miss the taste of Alexander's blood when he turned the man, but he also knew what Alexander was to him and there was only one choice he could make if he wanted Alexander with him forever. "How did you know?" Alexander asked, hands stroking up Jared's arms to his shoulders. "Know what?" Jared asked, pressing a kiss to the corner of the man's mouth. "That we belong together, that we are soulmates?" "I knew the moment I saw you," Jared said, holding Alexander close while the human recovered from the blood loss. "The scent of you, the way you taste on my tongue. The way you are. There was never a doubt in my mind. I found what other search the world for centuries to find." Alexander smiled and Jared let the two of them sink down on the ground, Alexander pressed up against him in the little hidden alcove where they were safe from the rain and curious human eyes. Hunger still burned in Jared's veins and he knew he would have to hunt later, he needed more than Alexander could give him, but he also knew that the blood wouldn't taste half as good as Alexander's did. -¤- Jared moved over the rooftops, each gap between houses nothing more than a simple leap for him and even from halfway across the town he could smell Alexander, knew that the man was waiting for him. He was full with blood, a rush of strength in his veins and when he reached the main street he didn't even hesitate before pushing off the roof and landing without a sound on the other side, his muscles relishing in the stretch and movement. He was lost in his own thoughts, mind already focused on the following night. Alexander might not know it yet but Jared knew it was time, he was ready to turn his mate. He knew he didn't want to spend eternity without his mate, not when he had found him. Over the buzz of the world below on the street, the sound of angry voices reached him but Jared didn't think much about it, not until a loud crack rang out, making the sounds of humanity below fade away. Jared had been alive long enough to know the sound of a gun but before he could go back to his own thoughts, pain ripped through him in a way he had never felt before. The next moment he felt the first metallic waft of blood in the air and realization slammed into him. Jared knew that scent, knew it better than anything in the world. That scent was his world. Down below him on the street human life continued on as normal, Jared was quite sure that most of them hadn't even heard the shot and those that did were too busy caring for themselves to go looking for someone who obviously had a gun. To Jared the shot was still ringing loud in his ears and he wondered if he would ever stop hearing it. The wet rooftops would be slippery to a human, but Jared had no problems balancing as he picked up speed and soon he jumped off the roof and and landed in the alley where the shot had been fired. The picture in front of him was all his worst fears brought to life. Alexander lay on the ground, the scent of his blood hot and clingy in the air but despite that, Jared could feel no hunger burn in his veins, all he wanted was to scream out in protest. "Alexander!" Jared fell down on his knees next to his soulmate and when he reached out to touch the human's face none of the familiar heat was there. He didn't even stop to consider what he was doing, just bit down on his own wrist, feeling the skin break beneath his teeth. Pressing his bleeding wounds against Alexander's mouth he begged his mate to swallow, to drink down the thick blood. He could tell right away that it was too late, the bullet had hit in the chest and Alexander was bleeding out too fast for Jared's blood to make a difference. "No, no, no." Jared pleaded. "We're supposed to have forever." "They...knew...you..." Alexander managed to get out before he was interrupted by weak coughing and Jared felt despair claw at him when the man coughed up what little blood Jared had gotten into him. "They knew what about me?" Jared asked. "What you... are... I guess... killing me means... hurting... you..." Alexander mumbled, the words slurred and Jared could tell he was fading fast. Jared felt tears of pure blood fall down his cheeks as his soulmate bled out in front of him. "Jared...find me...again..." He knew what Alexander asked for, knew that his mate would be reborn some day. But he also knew how low the odds were of finding Alexander's soul again. "I will," he promised. "You and me, forever." A hint of a smile stretched Alexander's lips before he breathed out one last breath before the light in his green eyes flickered out. Sharp pain tore through Jared as he was left with his dead soulmate in his arms.   - 1926 - Jared bit down on his own finger, stroking the blood over the bite mark and watched as the wounds closed and faded away. The human in his arms blinked open blue eyes, looking up at Jared with the mixture of confusion, fear and arousal that he had seen so many times before. He wondered if drinking would ever feel like pleasure again or if blood would for ever taste dull in comparison to the ambrosia that had been his soulmate's blood. Over twenty years had passed and not a day had gone by where Jared didn't miss what he had lost, not a night passing without him travelling, looking to find his soulmate again, but so far he had felt no tug of the connection between soulmates. "Go," Jared told the young woman in his arms. She blinked a few times, obviously trying to clear away the haze that sharing blood always left humans in and when he pushed her away she swayed for a moment but she didn't say anything before she turned away and made her way out of the alley, one hand against the wall to keep herself upright. Jared knew he should feel bad about feeding from her, could almost remember a time when that was how he would have felt but at least he didn't kill her and that was as much compassion as he had left. He hadn't killed anyone since he had found the men that had taken Alexander away from him, and those were deaths he didn't regret. Around him the winter night was giving way to morning and Jared knew he needed to find a place to rest for the night and he pushed off the ground, easily getting up on the rooftops where he could move around fast without the risk of humans seeing him. He didn't land on the ground again until he reached an area with town houses and he forced himself to move slower despite of the approaching daylight. He knew of a house that stood empty and he was sure he could rest there for the day but before he could get that far, something changed, his whole being suddenly focused on something he hadn't felt for two decades. "Alexander..." Jared would know that tug of connection anywhere, he had been looking for it for so long and when he pulled in a deep breath he could feel the scent of his soulmate's blood. The scent seemed to fill up every part of Jared, making his blood boil and everything else faded away. Jared was moving faster than he had in a long time, following the perfect scent that he had been longing to smell again for more than twenty years. He felt almost dizzy when the scent got stronger and he came to an abrupt halt when he realized just where it came from. The loud engine of an automobile cut through the morning stillness and Jared's eyes were riveted on it, part of him fascinated by the vehicle itself but the major part of him was focused on the scent that he could feel coming from inside it. He wasn't sure what he had expected, but when the car pulled to a stop it wasn't Alexander that came out of it, instead it was a couple, the woman turning back to the car to help a small girl down on the ground. Jared thought he might have been mistaken but just when he was about to turn away the girl twisted around in her mother's grasp and she looked right to where Jared was hidden in the darkness of the night and Jared had to bite back a shock gasped. The child might be the wrong gender, and she could be no older than five, but the eyes that looked his way was Alexander's, deep green with flecks of gold and Jared sank down to his knees, shocked at what he had found. "It can't be..." he mumbled to himself as the family walked into the house and Jared was left on the outside, staring after his perfect better half. -¤- Jared sat perfectly still on top of the roof, his position giving him a clear view across the street and straight into his soulmate's bedroom. "Evelyn Richards," he whispered into the night and in the year that had passed since he found her it still felt strange to speak that name. Watching from afar as Evelyn grew up was one of the most painful things Jared had experienced ever since he lost Alexander and he knew part of that was the fact that his soulmate had been returned to him as a girl. She was a gorgeous child, chestnut curls framing a heartshaped face, but what truly got to him each time he watched her was the eyes. He knew that it was his soulmate, knew that they belonged together, but that knowledge was tangled with the confusion that her gender caused him. He longed for the day she would be grown up enough that he could approach her, get to know her before he turned her and he swore to himself that he would keep her safe until then. She was his mate and no matter what she looked like, no matter what body the soul was in, he knew that he would love her. It was with a small smile on his lips that he settled down more comfortable on the roof, watching as the girl slept comfortable in her bed. -¤- Jared's days weren't spent sleeping, but it was close enough. A heavy lethargy pulled him under when the sun rose but he could still hear the world move on outside of the walls of his safe hideout, could hear voices filter in even through thick walls. He was happy for the half dozing state he was in, the long days away from Evelyn would have been torture without it, but as it was he could at least feel her in the back of his mind, a connection that made the pain of long years passed fall away. With his eyes drifted shut, nothing but darkness surrounding him, he lay down on the bed and let himself imagine how things would be the day he would once again feel the perfect taste of his soul mate on his tongue, when he wouldn't be alone anymore. He had managed so long without his mate and he hated to be apart from her now, but he knew the girl was too young to be turned, that he couldn't spend forever with a child. In the dead of night, watching her sleep peacefully, he had promised himself to be patient, to not make her his until her twentieth birthday. But that was another fourteen years for him to wait and he longed for his mate, longed for Evelyn in his life. Pain shot through him, tearing him away from his lingering dreams and his eyes flew wide, the daytime haze clearing away as he felt his soulmate scream in his mind. Something was wrong, out there in the brilliant light of day something terrible was happening and Jared was out of his bed before he could even think about it but before he reached the heavy door he managed to stop himself. He couldn't step outside, couldn't let the sun burn him to ash, but in that moment he wanted to because the pain was one he had only felt once before and even if he didn't know exactly how, he did know what was happening. Evelyn was dying. He screamed out in agony, fists hammering hard enough against the wall for big chunks of plaster to fall to the ground and he didn't care if the humans outside could hear him, couldn't care in that moment. "Evelyn! No!" There was no answer, no feeling of her in his mind and Jared sank down on the hard stone floor, unable to understand how everything could have been torn from him so suddenly, how he could have lost the love of his life, again. The hours until dusk were spent in a state of distress and the moment he could feel in his very bones that the sun had gone down he slammed the door to his hidden chamber open and ran towards Evelyn's house. When he arrived there he was met with nothing but smouldering ruins, the house had burnt to the ground and he didn't need to approach the humans still lingering around the place of the fire to know the outcome. Evelyn was gone and Jared could only stand there and watch, cursing the promise he had given Alexander. He knew he was close to giving up, close to stepping into the sun and let it burn him away, it seemed a fitting fate after what had happened to Evelyn, but he had promised Alexander to find him again. Had promised it would be them, forever, and there was no way he could go back on that promise. He knew one thing for sure though; the next time he found his soulmate he wouldn't wait that long. Young or not, Jared was not losing his mate one more time. He couldn't.   ***** Chapter 2 ***** Chapter Notes Original warnings and notes from Livejournal: Pairing, rating & kinks: J2 - NC-17 - underage (Jensen 12-13), age difference, vampires, blood-play. - 2012 - The word was changing around him but at times Jared himself felt like he was standing still, an immovable object in a sea of change. A part of him was still the same person that he had been when he was first turned, but even worse he was still the same person that had lost his soulmate not once but twice. In a world where the buildings were taller and more lit up, the rooftops weren't the safe hiding spot they had been all those years ago, but a lot of the times they were at least better than being down on the ground among all the people that were not his mate. Even with the houses across the street, reaching even higher towards the sky than the church, it still held his favorite corner to spend long hours of the night that wasn't as dark as he remembered from his early days. He hadn't spent many days in the town and he knew it was soon time to move on once more, forever traveling in search of something he had long given up on finding. "Are you even out there?" he whispered into the night, not expecting an answer and yet the lack of one did disappoint. It was the first time he was back on American ground in over ten years but for some reason he had felt a pull back and he thought he was as likely of finding his soulmate there as any other place in the world. He was quite sure that New York wasn't where he should be however, the pull was still there somewhere inside him but not pulling him somewhere special, just telling him to keep moving. "Can you...is there someone up there? No, to the left...look!" The sounds reached Jared and a quick glance down showed him a group of people, a young man pointing up to the roof of the church and several faces were tilting up to try and see what he had clearly spotted up there. More than one person were raising cell phones and Jared pushed off, taking off running across the ledge and he could hear the shouts behind him. For a world that didn't believe in his kind, he was surprised by the amount of times he had almost been caught, it was far from the first time his vampire speed was the only thing that kept him alive. He threw himself off the far side of the church roof, hitting the ground running. Even with the knowledge that no human would be able to catch him, they would barely be able to see him, anger and fear boiled inside him. He couldn't get caught, it was not an option. Not when he had made a promise a century before and no matter how long it took, he would never give up and that meant staying alive. -¤- Jared walked through the suburban neighborhood, black windows looking down at him and for once he felt calm, almost at ease. He wasn't even sure what town he was in, had lost count over the nights walking and running and even the times he fed blurred together into a haze of hot blood and willing bodies that gave him no satisfaction. Around him he could hear the first sounds of morning, people waking up and shuffling around inside still-dark houses and he knew he should find a place to rest even though wintertime meant the sun would stay down for another few hours. Against his better judgement he moved closer to one of the houses that was crowded in by evergreens and he fitted himself in between high ferns and the side of the house. He couldn't even say why he thought that was a good idea. Maybe so many years without his mate had finally gotten to him that he needed closeness no matter with whom. But then, maybe it was something completely different. "I don't wanna get up, too early." Jared's eyes widened when he heard the annoyed voice from somewhere in the house, even without seeing the person who had talked, without smelling that perfect scent, he knew that he had just found the very person he had been searching for. Jared's entire world changed in that very moment, the parts of him that had been torn to shreds at Alexander's and Evelyn's deaths knotted themselves back together again. He didn't know if it was the long time apart or something else but when Jared pressed one hand against the wall of his mate's home his emotions were stronger than anything he had felt before. "Get up," a female voice rang out, much louder than the first. "You know Carl is starting work early today and we're not leaving you alone in the house." Something in the woman's voice made Jared's blood boil, a distant tone and a hint of contempt that should never be aimed at his mate. "Yes ma'am," he heard his soulmate answer, voice soft and resigned. "Don't you ma'am me, kid," the woman snapped. "Sucking up will get you no favors in my household." The next moment Jared heard a door slam inside the house and a deep sigh that he was sure came from the person that was his soulmate. A person that Jared's whole body and soul was aching to get to know and he cursed the approaching morning for keeping him from doing so right then and there. With a deep sigh he pushed away from the house and headed off to find a safe resting place but every step he took away from his mate was painful and he remembered all too vividly how it had felt when Evelyn died. -¤- Jared was up and moving within a second of waking up, only one thought in his mind as he got out of bed and looked around the small basement where he had managed to find a small, no-window room where he could rest for the long day that kept him away from his newfound soulmate. In that moment he didn't care one bit about the room, barely stopped enough to makes sure no one saw him leave the place because all he wanted was to find his mate again, to get something more than just the hint of a voice heard through the walls of a house. He could feel the overwhelming connection of his soulmate even from several blocks away and Jared didn't even bother about his usual rooftop path to move around, for once he didn't mind having humans around him, instead he was happy that the lingering warmth of the early fall allowed people to stay out longer and make the night feel alive. When he approached the house he slowed down, letting the shadows hide him as he moved into the yard and put himself in a position so that he could get a clear view through the living room window to where a man and a woman was sitting on a couch watching tv. The utter lack of connection with either of them told him that neither of them was the one he was looking for. As much as he had thought about his mate it wasn't until that moment that he fully registered a word he had heard the previous morning; a female voice calling his soulmate; kid. "Jensen!" the woman on the couch called out, not taking her eyes off the tv. "Get the trash out before you go to bed." The side door opening had Jared moving without him even thinking about it as he was was truly hit by the perfect scent of his mate and when he rounded the corner he could for the very first time see the young boy that was the very center of his universe. "Jensen," Jared breathed out into the darkness of the night, so low that he knew the boy couldn't hear it. The name was unusual and it rolled off Jared's tongue like it was made to be spoken by him, and in a way maybe it was in. In a way everything about Jensen was made just for Jared, the second half of a perfect forever. Seeing him for the first time Jared felt everything else fade away as he took in the slender boy stepping out of the house, plastic bag clutched in one hand as he walked over to the trash can without even looking around. From his viewpoint all Jared could see was was a slender body, pale skin where his jeans and t-shirt revealed it and dark blonde hair that the boy swept away from his face as he threw the trash away. The next moment the boy sighed heavily and started pulling the heavy trash can towards the street and Jared gritted his teeth together at seeing his mate struggle with it while his parents sat comfortably on the couch watching tv. He didn't think of it as he stepped around the corner and on silent feet started walking towards the boy that smelled better than anything Jared had ever felt before and he didn't know what alerted the boy to his presence but suddenly he dropped the can and spun around to face Jared. Bright green eyes focused in on Jared and it was the same perfect shade of green that he had tried to remember for so many years but seeing them he knew that his memory hadn't even been close. Jensen had none of Evelyn's dark curls or her heart shaped face, none of Alexander's broad shoulders or the wicked little tilt to his lips, but he had something that Jared fell for right away. The boy was young but at least he was older than Evelyn had been and Jared knew he wasn't prepared to wait for several years until he turned him. "Jensen," Jared said again, allowing himself to speak the name out louder. Jensen stood absolutely still, staring at Jared with wide eyes, full pink lips parted in surprise and Jared was stunned by the perfect beauty that was his soulmate. The urge to get near his mate was overwhelming, the connection tugging hard at him and in an instant he was standing right in front of Jensen. Already big eyes grew even wider at Jared's lightning fast movement. He knew he should say something, explain himself, but the connection between them was too strong and Jared figured that talking could come later. All too aware of the boy's fragile human body he knew he had to keep back as he wrapped his arms around his soulmate for the first time in more than one hundred years. Despite his slender build, Jensen felt perfect in his arms, warm against Jared's cold, hard skin and the scent of him was intoxicating. For a second Jensen stood absolutely still but then his arms came up to wrap around Jared's neck and Jared lifted his mate up off the ground, desperate to get him even closer. For a brief moment everything was perfect, Jensen clinging to him made Jared sure the boy felt their connection as well, but then it seemed like Jensen's brain caught up with what was happening and he struggled against Jared's iron grip. Jared let him go right away, scared to cause his mate any harm, and Jensen stumbled back a few steps, his entire body trembling. "What the hell," he asked, staring at Jared with a mixture of confusion, fear and anger. "Get away from me or I'll...I'll..." "Don't," Jared interrupted him. "I'm sorry, I just... Jensen, I've been longing for you for so long." The boy shook his head, backing away and it took everything for Jared to not close the increasing distance between them again. Having Jensen that close without having him right there was torture but Jared was unable to do anything that made his soulmate feel bad. "You're...crazy." Jensen said angrily. "You've been longing for... No. Go away or I'll..." "Tell your parents?" Jared asked. "I really wish you wouldn't." He had only meant to keep Jensen from running back to the house, because grown ups knowing about him would very much hinder the ease with which he could get close to Jensen but the boy reacted like Jared had slapped him, flinching back and the anger gave way to pure hurt. "You don't know anything," Jensen said, voice sounding broken. "I don't have... My parents are dead!" The answer was too stunning for Jared to have time to react, vampire reflexes or not, and the next moment Jensen was sliding around him and disappeared into the house, door clicking shut behind him and Jared could hear the boy locking the door. Jared didn't know how long he had stood staring after his soulmate before he managed to gather himself together again, anger coursing through his veins at his own stupidity. So long had he waited to find his soulmate again and then he went risking it all because he couldn't wait a tiny bit longer. Stepping back into the shadows Jared realized that there were a lot of things he didn't know about his young soulmate, but he was determined to find out everything. -¤- Sitting crouched on the roof of the neighbor house, pressed up against the chimney in hopes that the shadows would hide him from view, Jared stared over towards the dark window of Jensen's bedroom. In the week that had passed Jared had managed to find out more about the boy, but nothing of what he had found out made him feel even remotely good about not being close to him. From his position he couldn't see the people that Jensen lived with, he hadn't seen either of them since he had arrived for the night but he was sure they were seated in their usual place in front of the TV, having a nice time while Jensen had been ordered to his small room as soon as his chores were done. Jared couldn't believe that someone treated his mate like that, that someone treated any kid like that and at times he had to restrain himself to not storm into the house and just take Jensen away. Jared was still contemplating a new way to get close to Jensen, needing to get his soulmate to accept the connection between them, when suddenly everything changed. -¤- -¤- Jensen lay still in his bed, the darkness of the night feeling too close, stifling where he thought it should feel comfortable. He had been in the system since he was five, and the year he had spent in the room he lay in now was the longest he had stayed in one place. It had never truly felt like home, but lately it had felt even more wrong than ever before. If he was honest with himself nothing had felt right since that evening one week earlier and the man that had wrapped Jensen in a tight hug, had held him like if he mattered. That was not how Jensen should be thinking, and he knew it. Jensen might only be twelve but he knew enough about life to have figured out that trusting people was never a good thing to do. People always let you down, at least if he expected them to he wouldn't get disappointed, at least that was what he kept telling himself. The man had obviously been insane, pulling Jensen into his arms, speaking about him the way he had, yet Jensen hadn't been able to shake off the brief meeting. Whoever the man was his very presence had shook Jensen's world, changing it around until nothing made sense anymore and all he could think of was that strong body pressed up against his. And if there had been a moment when the man seemed to move faster than possible, well, that was just Jensen's mind playing tricks on him. Unable to fall asleep Jensen pushed himself out of the bed and on bare feet he walked towards the door, carefully listening for sound from the other side. He knew that his foster mom, Angie, was away for the night which left him alone with Carl and in the year since he had arrived at the latest home he knew that Carl was the one to look out for. The house seemed silent though and Jensen dared to carefully open his door, making his way towards the kitchen in hope that a glass of milk would help him sleep even though he didn't dare to heat it up. Halfway lost in his own thoughts Jensen didn't notice the muted TV in the living room until it was too late and by the time he saw Carl on the couch there was no way for him to get back to his room without being noticed. "Kid!" Carl spat out, pushing himself up off the couch and taking a step towards Jensen. "Didn't I send you to your room? What the fuck are you doing up?" Jensen didn't know what route was best to go; answer or keeping silent. Before he could make a decision, Carl came close enough to reach Jensen and before he could react a heavy hand landed against the side of his face. "Were you planning to steal some food?" Carl shouted and from the close distance, Jensen could smell the alcohol on the man's breath. "You ungrateful little shit! We take you in to our home and you steal from us? Sneaking around in the night like the little rat you are." It wasn't the first time Jensen had heard comments like that and he was very aware of the fact that to Carl and Angie he was nothing more than a means to a check once a month, a check that came with the bonus of having someone to do all the boring chores of the household. Up until that moment, their loathing for him had never turned physical and the sting of the slap burned his cheeks and the tears that gathered in his eyes came both from the pain and the humiliation. "I wasn't..." He didn't get another word out before a second hit connected but that time it wasn't a slap, instead he felt Carl's fist connect with his temple and Jensen's legs crumbled beneath him. "Never should have taken you in," Carl snarled. "I wanted a younger kid, someone who isn't such a pain but no, Angie insisted on someone that could be useful around the house, but are you useful? When the fuck have you ever been useful to anyone?" Jensen bit down hard on his lower lip to keep from crying out in pain, he would not give Carl that satisfaction but it took every ounce of willpower he had when Carl pulled his feet back before kicking Jensen hard in the side. The only thing Jensen could think about was that he was grateful that Carl never wore shoes inside, but he still thought he could hear a crack of bones when the man's foot connected with his ribs. When Carl pulled his foot back, readying himself for another kick, Jensen couldn't hold back a scared little whimper but before the man could do anything the big living room window shattered. Laying on his side, curled in on himself, Jensen was facing the window and even then he wasn't really sure what he was seeing. The glass shattered into thousands of fragments that caught the light from the lamps and shattered it into all the colors of the rainbow but in the middle of the light and glass there was a dark shadow moving so quickly that Jensen's brain couldn't keep up. "Don't you dare!" The voice rang out impossibly loud in the room that suddenly felt very small and Jensen was just about to open his mouth to let out the scream he had been holding back but just then the shadow stilled and Jensen saw just who was standing in the middle of the living room, shards of glass glistening in his hair. It was the man from a few nights earlier and standing in there, bathed in light, he looked even bigger than Jensen had remembered him. He also looked dangerous. "He's mine and if you ever hurt him again, I swear you will regret it. Step away from him." Carl obeyed, stumbling back and falling backwards onto the floor and Jensen heard the man cry out with pain when he landed on the glass shards littering the floor. "Who the... what the fuck!" Carl gasped. Walking closer to Jensen the stranger didn't even stop to look at Carl, instead he knelt beside Jensen and lifted him up as easy as if he weighed nothing. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here earlier," the man said. "I promise, he'll never hurt you again. No one will ever hurt you again." The world blurred around him as Jensen found himself tucked up against the man's chest and he was only vaguely aware that they were moving and that the stranger had taken him out of the house, moving through gardens and over fences with an ease that made Jensen's mind spin. "Who are you?" Jensen asked weakly, trying to make his brain catch up with what was happening. "I'm Jared," the man answered. "And I'm your soulmate. I promise, I will never hurt you. And I will never let anyone lay a hand on you ever again." It was just too much to take in and Jensen found himself slipping into darkness, still carried in Jared's arms and the last thing he thought before he passed out was that he would never go back to that house again. Never. ***** Chapter 3 ***** He closed his eyes and pulled in a few deep breaths trying to calm himself but no matter how much he tried he could still feel Jared's eyes on him. "Please, give me a chance." The words were low but to his ears they sounded almost painfully loud and he flinched away from the man when a strong, cold hand landed on his arm. For all the doubts and fears he had, there was no denying just how cold Jared's skin was against his. "I don't... I..." "Please Alexander," Jared pleaded, moving forward until they were mere inches apart and Alexander could feel the man's breath against his face before lips pressed against his, a softer touch than he would ever have expected. "You're everything to me, I know I scare you but I promise I will never hurt you. There is no way... you're... Alexander, please. Be with me." There was something about that voice, the pure emotion in his words, that made Alexander's fears shatter and fall away and without really thinking about the consequences of his decision he breathed out a shuddering gasp and leaned into the touch. "Yes." The dream was still there, lingering in his mind when Jensen blinked his eyes open and was met with nothing but darkness. He couldn't make sense of the dream, couldn't make sense of where he was or how he had gotten there and no matter how much he tried he couldn't see anything through the blackness surrounding him. Reaching out Jensen meant to fumble in search for a lamp, anything, but instead he had to bite back a sharp cry of pain and with the pain came memories. When the fuck have you ever been useful to anyone? Jensen thought he had seen the worst of foster families, of people that cared nothing for him, but with his ribs throbbing in pain he felt even lower than he ever had before. But he was still alive, because someone had come and saved him. Jared. His mind spun with thoughts and confusion and the darkness surrounding him did nothing to help him clear his mind. The few memories of Jared he had were jumbled together with the lingering dream that he couldn't make sense of. "Is anyone...there?" Jensen whispered and he flinched at how loud the words sounded. There was no answer to be had but when Jensen shifted on what he was sure was a bed he reached out and felt someone beside him on the bed, a big strong body that didn't react when Jensen gasped and shifted away in the darkness. Unable to see where he was moving he found the edge of the bed and fell down on the ground. The fall was enough to hurt his bruised ribs and Jensen cried out in pain, wrapping his arms around himself. "Jensen!" The voice that rang out in the black room had Jensen flinching in fear and despite the pain his body was in he moved away from the voice but before he could get far light filled the room and he had to blink several times as his eyes tried to adjust to the change. Turning around, the first thing he saw was Jared kneeling right in front of him and even on his knees he felt huge, towering over Jensen where he was trying to make himself as small as possible. "What are you doing?" Jared asked. He could hear the words but they didn't really make sense to Jensen, his mind too clouded with fear and when the man raised one hand Jensen whimpered and lifted both his hands in an attempt to shield himself from the hit he was sure was about to come. "No," Jared said, words coming out as an explosion. "I told you I will not hurt you, I will never hurt you, Jensen. I couldn't... You hurting, it hurts me." Jensen was frozen in place when he felt strong arms wrap around him, lifting him up off the ground and he felt so very small and fragile in Jared's arms but there was something there, something in the careful way that Jared held him, that made him feel safe for the first time in years. He couldn't understand it but there was no denying the pull he felt between them. "Please," he whimpered. "Hurts..." He soon found himself lowered back down on the bed, crying out when the movement made his sore ribs ache and the next moment he tensed up when he felt Jared lay down behind him and carefully fit himself against Jensen's back. "I know it's a lot to take in, but I promise you that you're safe here. I can't...god, I can't explain more now, Jensen," Jared breathed out against the top of Jensen's head. "Can't...stay awake. But please, relax. Come nightfall I promise to... You're safe here, with me." Jared let the light stay on, something Jensen was grateful for but before he could ask any of the questions that were flittering around in his mind he realized that the man behind him had fallen asleep, or something close to sleep because he still reacted when Jensen shifted but he didn't respond to Jensen's quiet questions.It was all too much to take in and Jensen just lay there, wrapped up in Jared's arms as his mind spun with trying to make everything that had happened fit into some kind of order. Busy as his mind was, and even with his body aching, he couldn't help but drift off into sleep, feeling strangely safe even though he wasn't sure why. -¤- -¤- His young mate looked relaxed, peaceful, where he lay stretched out on the bed, one hand resting on Jared's pillow and something deep inside Jared purred with contentment at that small gesture, like Jensen tried to reach out for him even in sleep. "Wake up, little mate," Jared said, knowing he needed to get the boy awake before he headed out, needed to make sure the boy would still be there when he woke up. Green eyes blinked open and for a moment Jared was taken aback by the eyes that he had missed for so many years and even if it didn't seem that Jensen remembered what they were to each other there was still something there, Jared was sure he didn't imagine it. For a moment he could see nothing but sleepy confusement in Jensen's eyes but then suddenly the boy was sitting bolt upright in the bed only for his bruised ribs to cause him to cry out in pain. "Please, Jensen, be careful," Jared said quickly and moved forward to put his hands on the boy's shoulders, holding him in place. "This can't be happening, this isn't real," the boy gasped out, his breath coming out in small, sharp bursts. "I know it's a lot to take in," Jared tried to comfort but for all the time he had been longing for his mate, had searched the world for him, nothing had prepared him for finding him so scared and broken. "I'm..." "Who are you?" Jensen asked, words coming tumbling from his lips. Jared was just about to speak when Jensen's white teeth bit down hard on his lower lip before he asked the next question. "What are you?" That was really a question that Jared had hoped his mate wouldn't ask but at the same time he wasn't really surprised, not when the boy had already seen Jared's too-fast movements twice and add upon that the fact that Jensen had rested next to him during the half-sleep that was daytime. If Jared was honest with himself, that day had been the deepest he had rested since he had lost Evelyn, something about having his mate right there made him more relaxed than he had thought possible. "I don't think...don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to," Jared said but he couldn't pull away from the boy, not able to put distance between them quite yet. "You saved me," Jensen said quietly. "But I don't even... I saw you and it's not possible. Not possible at all." The boy took a few deep breaths but he didn't pull away either and Jared thought that was all he could ask for at the moment. "I will tell you about me," Jared said, knowing that there was no way he could hide what he was for too long. "But not right now. I need to go out and..." "No!" Jensen cried out and once more he was struggling against Jared's grip. "I can't go out there, he'll find me. They'll take me back and Carl will...will... I can't. You can't do that. You said I would be safe, you said that..." The boy was working himself closer and closer to a meltdown by the second and well over one hundred years of being something more than alive had not prepared Jared for calming down a terrified child but there was no way for him to leave Jensen in distress. "I'm not taking you out there," he promised, breaking through Jensen's nervous pleading. "This room? This is a safe place, No one will find you here and I promise you, I will not let anyone hurt you. I saved you from that family and I'm not letting them take you away. I'm not losing you, never again. I can't go through that again, you belong with me. We're soulmates." Small trembles still ran through Jensen's body but he stared at Jared and didn't move away and after a few long minutes, silence stretching out thick and heavy between them, he let out a small sigh and lay back down on the bed. "You'll be back?" he asked softly. "Won't be gone an hour," Jared promised and without thinking it through too much he leaned in and pressed a kiss to the boy's forehead before he got up and walked to the heavy steel door he had installed to the cellar room that he had converted into his safe room. "And no one will find you." The boy said nothing more but Jared could feel green eyes on him as he unlocked the locks keeping him safe and walked outside, stopping to look back at Jensen who lay on the bed, teeth once more caught on his lower lip. "I'll bring you something to eat," Jared said before he closed the door behind him and made sure all the locks were back in place. -¤- Leaning back against the wall Jared licked away the last traces of blood lingering on his lips but even with the heat of human blood coursing through his system all he could think of was Jensen waiting for him, slender form curled up on his bed and even though the blood had clenched his thirst there was a craving deep inside him. "When can I see you again?" Jared looked up and over to the mouth of the alley and he was surprised that he hadn't even noticed that the girl he had fed from hadn't left yet. "You can't," he said, standing up and walking up to her and he leaned up to drag his fingertips over the barely visible red marks on her neck where his teeth had pierced skin. "I gave you an order, what did I tell you?" The girl's eyes glazed over and she blinked a few times, pink lips wetting her lips before she spoke. "I met a man and we...made out, but I didn't want more. It was good though," she added and her lips turned into a soft smile. "I hope I'll see him again. I should come back next week, just in case." With that she turned around and walked away, leaving Jared standing alone in the dark of the alley and he breathed out a sigh of relief that the mind control had slotted into place. He allowed himself a few long moments to center himself before he walked the other way, weaving in and out between the people crowding the sidewalk in the cool autumn air instead of making his way across the rooftops as he usually would. With Jensen in his life, waiting for him, there was no way he would do anything to draw attention to himself, anything that might stop him from getting back to his mate so instead he walked until he found a night open café that still had sandwiches prepared. He wasn't sure what Jensen liked but when he saw the turkey sandwiches a small smile stretched his lips and he ordered a few, remembering how much Alexander had always loved the white meat of the turkey. Hopefully some parts of his soulmate would remain intact, apart from the eyes. "Anything more, sir?" the girl behind the counter asked. Hesitating for a moment Jared did manage to remember that his young mate would most likely need something to drink as well and he got a few cans of soda along with two bottles of water before he paid and started making his way back to the place where he knew Jensen was waiting for him and he wondered just how long he would be able to avoid the boy's questions. He made sure that no one was following him before he turned onto the right street and got into the abandoned house that he had made his home. Even with the thick concrete walls making up the basement, and the heavy door, he could smell the perfect scent of his mate and the blood he had swallowed down did nothing to stop his teeth from itching with the urge to taste Jensen. He had to stop himself for a few moments, leaning against the door and taking a few deep breaths that did too little to calm himself down before he unlocked the door. -¤- -¤- Jensen stared at the door, wondering if he had heard something outside or if it was just something he had imagined like he had before in the hour since Jared had left. He was sure it was more than an hour, it must be, and fear weighed heavy in his belly at the thought that maybe the man wasn't coming back. His ribs ached with every step he took but it hadn't stopped Jensen from moving around, exploring the room the man had locked him in. His search had given him no more information about his saviour though, there wasn't much there besides the big bed and a rickety bookshelf with a few worn old books in it and a locked chest in the corner, but nothing that told Jensen anything about Jared. The door itself had proved impossible to get open, not that Jensen knew where he would go had he managed. Not that he was sure that he wanted to be anywhere else but with Jared. In his mind the dream still lingered, Jared asking Alexander to trust him, the same way he had asked Jensen and he couldn't help but think that meant something. He just wasn't sure what. Before he could think about it further, he heard the locks click, one after another, and the door swung open to reveal Jared standing there. "You're back," Jensen breathed out, relief flooding over him when Jared stepped inside and shut the door behind him. Jared walked up to the bed and put down the bag he had been carrying before he leaned in and wrapped both arms around Jensen without a word. The embrace made all of Jensen's worries, fears and general thoughts fade away and all he could think of was how oddly safe he felt when Jared was touching him. That being with Jared felt like home in a way that none of the foster homes and orphanages he had stayed in ever had. "I told you I would come back," Jared said, breath warm against the top of Jensen's head. "I brought you something to eat and drink. I hope you like turkey sandwiches." Jensen's lips tilted up at the corners at those words but he didn't pull himself away from Jared no matter how much his stomach growled for food, instead he kept close enough that his lips almost brushed the man's neck. "I love turkey," Jensen said quietly, thinking back to the few times he had actually been with a family during Thanksgiving. "You always did." Before he could truly react to the words Jared had untangled them and reached for the bag, taking out a sandwich that smelled better than anything Jensen had felt before and he couldn't stop his surprised little gasp when Jared let him choose from several kinds of soda to go with it. In all the families he had been with, none of them had ever been prepared to give him soda or candy or anything else that might actually be enjoyable and he was sure it had been years since the last time he tasted a coke. The first sip of the drink made him close his eyes and just take in the taste of it before he reached out for the sandwich, unwrapping it and sinking his teeth into it before anyone could think to take it away from him. "Good?" Jared asked and when Jensen looked up, the man was sitting watching him, motionless except for how his eyes tracked every movement Jensen did. "Thank you," Jensen breathed out after having swallowed thickly around the big bite he had taken. Jared just looked at him, eyes turning softer and when he reached out towards Jensen it wasn't to take his food away, instead the man stroked one big hand through Jensen's hair before he got up and started pulling books from the bookshelf and putting them into a bag he pulled out from beneath the bed. "We'll be leaving town tomorrow night," Jared said. "I can't...I'm sure that they'll be looking for you soon. This is not the place for us to be. I have a house, one that's far away from here and we can both be safe there." Finishing the rest of the sandwich in silence Jensen watched as Jared unlocked the heavy chest in the corner and retrieved some clothes, filling up the bag even further. Jensen put away his soda and moved closer to where Jared was packing, frowning when he saw clothes his own size being lifted out of the chest. "You had planned for this," Jensen said and it was a statement, not a question. "To take me away from there." "Of course," Jared said simply. "I've been looking for you for so long." Jensen closed his eyes, trying not for the first time to make sense of all that was happening to him but it was too much to take in and he latched on to what few things that Jared had let slip. "You said you've...lost me before?" Jared tensed up at that but he didn't answer Jensen's question and the boy dared to shift closer to the man, desperate to get something to cling on to. "Jared," Jensen whispered. "Who is Alexander?" The reaction in Jared was like if Jensen had slapped him, head twisting to the side and he pulled in a deep, sharp breath of air. Jensen only watched as the man put away the last of the clothes and moved over to the bed, sitting down as far away from Jensen as possible. "I told you we are soulmates," Jared said, shifting to face Jensen. "This is not the first time I have found you. Alexander is...he was...the first time I found you." Jensen shook his head, scrambling away from Jared, ignoring the pain in his body. He had read about reincarnation, in the hundreds of books that had been his only safe haven while in the system, but he knew better than to think the things he read were real. The logical part of his brain insisted that Jared was insane, that he didn't know what he was talking about. Except for how the words Jared spoke rang all too true to Jensen ears. "The second time was eighty years ago," Jared continued, eyes locked on Jensen. Pulling his legs up towards his body and wrapping his arms around them, Jensen shivered when the impact of things truly hit him and he pulled in a deep breath, asking the same question that he had asked before and for some reason he knew that this time he would get an answer. "What are you?" "Your soulmate," Jared said, but then he smiled and Jensen felt his breath catch in his throat when he saw the sharpness of the man's canine teeth. "And I'm a vampire." -¤- ***** Chapter 4 ***** The open fire was sparkling behind Jensen, warmth filling the room and he knew that the sound should be soothing to him, but he was all too aware that he was alone in the big house. Even with the knowledge of all the security measures Jared had taken to keep Jensen safe, he could never relax when he knew the man that had saved him was far away. He didn't know what that said about him, that a vampire was the one person to make him feel safe but he couldn't deny it anymore. Jensen turned away from the big window, it wasn't like he could see much of the city anyway, not with the house hidden behind high walls and heavy gates, and despite the nearby lights of the city the garden itself was pitch black and Jensen knew that Jared moved too fast for Jensen to be able to see him. It didn't stop him from looking for him though. He turned away from the window and walked over to the couch, curling up on it and reaching for the book that he hadn't really been reading for hours. Sometimes it still made his head spin, the knowledge of what Jared was, but after weeks with the man the initial fear and denial had faded away to give room for something else. No matter what Jared was, how old he was or what had happened before, Jensen couldn't doubt the fact that the man, the vampire, would do anything to keep Jensen safe. It was just best for Jensen to not think too much about what anything could turn out to be. The alarm beeped, signaling Jared's return and Jensen fumbled the book open and tried to look like he had been reading instead of counting down the time to when the vampire would come back. He didn't know if he fooled Jared though, not when the man sat down next to him and brushed long fingers through Jensen's hair, making him shiver and lean into the touch, book all but forgotten. "I'm home," Jared said, fingers sliding down Jensen's cheek before they pulled away. "I noticed," Jensen managed to get out and he tried to not think about how breathless his own voice sounded. "Did it..." He didn't really need to ask if Jared's venture out into the city had gone well, not when Jared's hand came down to cover his own and he could feel the heat of the man's big hand. That was one of the many things that had forced Jensen to accept the truth about Jared; the coldness of his skin and the flush of the same skin when the man had been out eating, feeding. "It was good," Jared said quickly, standing up and going back to the door where he had dropped a bag. "I got you some new clothes, and some new books." Jensen didn't know fully how their little tradition had formed, but each time Jared fed he came back with things for Jensen. They didn't talk about it, the same way they didn't talk about Jared drinking blood or so many other things that neither of them was ready for. It didn't stop Jensen for wondering though, too many hours of the day for him not to think about all the little things. "Tell me," Jensen said suddenly, the need to know overwhelming him. "Tell me...about me..." Beside him Jared went completely still, in a way that no human ever could, a stiffness to him that turned him from something alive, something close to human, into a statue. "I need to know," Jensen mumbled. "I...remember some but..." "What?" Jared snapped, suddenly full of motion again as he spun around to face Jensen, movements so fast that there was no way for Jensen to actually see it and he couldn't stop from flinching when Jared was suddenly right there, pressed up against him. "You remember?" Jensen curled in on himself, pulling his legs up against his chest as he tried to make himself as small as possible. If someone had asked him, he wouldn't have been able to say why it felt so very strange to talk to Jared about the dreams he had been having. Jared should be the one he could talk to about, the one that would know just what those dreams were about. But a part of him was scared, so very scared. Evelyn wasn't afraid of the dark. There was no need to be afraid of something that was nothing but comforting after all. The kids in her class talked about scary things in their closets, under their beds, but she never even considered it. Outside her bedroom window the darkness of the night was clinging to the glass, fingers of frost finding their way across the expanse, but it wasn't scary. She didn't even know why it wasn't, only knew that when she stood in her room, pushed up on her tip-toes to look outside into the blackness, she felt safe. Cared for. Loved. "I think it's memories," Jensen said, not looking up at the vampire by his side. "It feels so real, standing in that window and...someone outside. That is...was...you. Right?" A hand came up to stroke over his cheek and already Jensen could tell that the heat was fading from Jared's limbs. Nothing remarkable yet but still, humans got warmer when they came in from the winter night, but not Jared. Despite the approaching chill, the touch felt comforting and grounding and Jensen found himself leaning in to it, his lips brushing Jared's fingers before they were pulled back. "I looked over you," Jared said. "Guarded you, to make sure nothing would happen to you. That you would grow up and..." He swallowed thickly and Jensen wished he could remember more, but in neither of the two lives he could remember did he have the memory of how things had ended. Only Jared had that and if Jensen wanted to know, he would have to make the man talk about something that was obviously painful to him. Jensen hated doing it, but the need to know was burning in the back of his mind, the words waiting on his tongue. "What happened to me?" Jared reached closer, wrapping impossibly strong arms around Jensen and lifting him up as easily as he weighed nothing and Jensen found himself sitting on Jared's lap, pressed against the man's huge body. "You were killed," Jared said and even though Jensen knew it had been years, so many years, he could hear the pain clear as day in the man's voice. "Alexander," Jensen said, face hidden against Jared's neck. "It was so long ago. You begged him, me, to trust you. To be with you. I can remember that, or I dreamt about it." It was confusing, keeping the memories and the dreams apart because some of the dreams he had, Jensen was quite sure they had never happened. In those dreams he wasn't Alexander or Evelyn. He was just Jensen. "It was real," Jared said bitterly. "You begged me to... turn you. Make you what I am. But I wasn't sure I could take your life. And they took it before I could. They wanted to hurt me, and they succeeded." Jensen shivered at the emotionless tone of Jared's voice but the man was still holding him close with a tenderness that took Jensen's breath away. "They couldn't get to me, couldn't kill me. So they took you. I watched Alexander, watched you, die in my arms." The pain was too much to take and Jensen managed to turn around in the circle of Jared's arms, wrapping his arms around the man's neck and clinging close. It didn't feel like him, it was someone elses life the man was talking about, had to be. And yet the words rang true and Jensen couldn't deny that there was something there, in the back of his mind. Something that told him just how right Jared was. Maybe it started out as dreams, as stories re-told by Jared, but no matter what Jensen knew them to be true. He had been born before, and he had died in Jared's arms. Jared who had loved him, who had pleaded for Alexander to be with him. Jensen wondered just how much better Alexander had been. And he wondered if Jared could do it all over again, could choose how things turned out, if he would prefer Alexander over Jensen. -¤- -¤- The big house was all too quiet, silence filling each room in a way that made Jared feel like he was all alone even though he knew that Jensen was in the bedroom. It wasn't chance that had taken them to Jared's secure house in Vermont, one of several houses across the world that were his, just waiting for the day when he would find his soulmate again, and he had chosen to take Jensen to that house for the long winter nights, giving him so many more hours to spend with his mate. He had just forgotten that no matter the shortness of the day, Jensen still needed his sleep. Jared knew it was crazy, but he truly hated the time his young mate spent sleeping, but he dared anyone to search for their soulmate as long as he had and not want to spend every possible moment with them. Standing in the doorway and watching the young boy he did consider laying down to rest beside him on the bed, just to hear the soft sound of his breathing and feel the warmth of his body but instead he turned away and walked downstairs, hesitating for a moment before he left Jensen a note to explain where he had gone before he walked outside into the dark night . It felt very wrong to leave Jensen alone, but Jared was sure that the security system would keep the boy safe for the time it took Jared to find someone willing to let him feed from them. That didn't make leaving him behind any easier though. He was happy their home wasn't too far from the city core, just a few blocks and people were lining the sidewalks Even in wintertime one kind of people were always out. The chill of the early evening did nothing against Jared, but he could only imagine how cold it must be for the young men and women huddled under street lamps. It wasn't usually the kind of people he fed upon, he much preferred to take the blood from someone that willingly gave than having to pay for it, but he needed something fast. He needed to get back to Jensen. When one of the young men, dressed far too revealing for the cold of the winter's night, turned and met Jared's gaze he didn't hesitate to nod towards the dark alley and he wasn't surprised when the man followed without hesitating for more than a moment. Had Jared still been human, he wouldn't have been able to see much in the darkness of the alley, as it was he could see everything and for the briefest of seconds he froze in place when he realized that the young hooker had brilliant green eyes. Luckily those eyes were the only thing he shared with Jensen, and even though the color was close there was no way for Jared to think the man was his mate. His body felt so very different pressed up close against Jared's, lean muscles and stubble against his cheeks instead of coltish limbs and a fragile body that felt so very small compared to Jared himself. He couldn't pretend and for that he was happy, what he did feel when he leaned in and brushed his lips against the man's neck was nothing beyond feeding. When he thought of doing the very same thing to Jensen, some day when the boy was ready, was old enough, the very thought was enough to make take his breath away. With Jensen it wouldn't only be feeding, with Jensen it would be everything. Sinking his teeth into the man's neck he could taste the salty bitterness of sweat, could scent the cigarette the man had smoked earlier as well as the lingering fragrance of some cheap aftershave. Put together, it made the man so far removed from Jensen that Jared almost felt bad for what he was doing, but he needed it and he knew that the hooker needed the amount of money Jared was prepared to pay for what blood he took. The first gush of blood went down like liquid fire, a warmth that exploded through his body and Jared had to try and stop himself to not hold the man too hard, not willing to leave him bruised up from just a simple feeding. It tasted so good sliding down his throat but he was careful of not taking too much, the man was cold enough as it was without suffering severe blood loss as well. "God..." It was nothing more but a low whimper as Jared pulled away, but it made him aware that neither of them had spoken since they entered the alley, words having been rendered useless as Jared had met his gaze and made the man forget all thoughts about protesting. That one word brought Jared back to what was happening and he pulled away, biting down on his own finger to gather blood to brush over the wounds on the man's neck. As so many times before he watched the teeth marks fade away and leave nothing more than two small pink dots that would be faded within a few hours. Green eyes looked up at him, slightly dazed, and Jared leaned in close, their lips mere inches apart, as he whispered orders about forgetting what had just happened. He waited until the man nodded before he reached into the pocket of his coat to count up more bills than the man would have made form working the entire night. Guilt churned inside him but at least he knew that the man wouldn't need to work more in the cold and he hoped that the man would follow his orders of going home to warm up. Adding a few extra bills he turned around to walk away but he froze in place when his gaze fell on a small figure standing in the mouth of the alley and even in the backlight he would know that silhouette anywhere. "Jensen," Jared breathed out, the man he had just fed from all but forgotten. The boy spun around, running before Jared could really grasp what had happened but when he did he was in motion in an instant. He knew better than to catch up with Jensen where everyone could see but the second they rounded the corner he was there, wrapping strong arms around the boy and lifting him up. "Let me go," Jensen cried out, struggling furiously at Jared's grasp. "Never!" Jared promised him. It was nothing short of the truth, he had already dealt with losing Jensen, twice, and he had been through the painful time of having Jensen right there without the boy talking to him after he had first revealed what he was; there was no way he would let Jensen go. With Jensen safe in his arms he could move fast enough for no one to really be able see them and soon they were back in their house and even though his body still felt flushed from the blood he had taken worry settled deep inside him and made him feel cold. It was one thing to have been told what Jared was, another to see it with his own eyes. "You followed me," Jared said when the alarm was activated and he had placed Jensen down on the couch. The boy didn't look at him, but at least he wasn't struggling against him anymore and Jared had to count that as progress and he crossed the room to sit down next to him, resting one hand against his warm, slender neck. "Jensen?" "You thought I was sleeping," Jensen said quietly. "And you...just left. You left me. I needed to know why so I... I've seen the codes for the doors so I followed and...I saw you... and him." Jared wanted to move closer but the boy was trembling under the tips of his fingers and he forced himself to keep the distance. Most of the time Jensen talked and acted older than his years, but when he sat huddled in on himself, vulnerable and scared, he looked so very young. "I'm sorry," Jared said. "I didn't mean for you to see...I know it can be scary and..." "Scary?" Jensen's gaze snapped up and he looked at Jared with some new emotion in his eyes, something Jared couldn't read. "I've told you what I am but..it's different to see and..." "I know what you are," Jensen interrupted, standing up and walking a few steps away. "You're a vampire. I knew that, really, I did. But... I don't understand it." Jared sighed, apparently Jensen hadn't been as far into accepting as he had thought and he cursed himself for having misread the boy. Despite the room not being very big, he felt the distance between them growing by the second and he didn't know what to say or do to make it right. Before he had the chance to say something Jensen spun around on the floor and faced Jared, tears pooling in his eyes and his hands were clenched into fists. "What's wrong with me?" he asked, voice cracking. "What? Baby, there's nothing wrong with you!" Jared answered without a seconds hesitation. "You're perfect, you're..." "Then why did you feed from him?" Jensen asked angrily. "What's wrong with me? I'm right here! I'm your soulmate and you feed from...everyone. You'd rather feed from a whore than from me!" That was not what Jared had expected to hear from the boy and for a few long moments he sat still, Jensen staring at him with his chest heaving with the deep breaths he took, struggling against all the emotions that lay heavy between them. When Jared's mind cleared though he knew beyond a doubt what he needed to do and the next moment he was right there, pulling Jensen close before he sat back down with the boy on his lap. Jensen smelled right, felt right pressed up against him, and Jared leaned in to press the softest kiss against the silken skin of the boy's neck. "There's no one in the world I would rather feed from than you," he promised. "Had to stop myself from... Damnit Jensen, the way you smell, the way you trust me. It's all... I didn't want to force you. I never want to force anything on you. But never doubt I want you in every way possible." Jensen just looked at him, tears still weighing down his long eyelashes and there was too much doubt in his gaze for Jared to be able to take it. "It's just feeding, Jensen," he said quietly. "It means less than nothing. This? Us? This will be perfect." He didn't wait to reconsider it, even with blood still warm inside him he knew what they both needed in that moment and when Jensen's head tilted to the side, presenting Jared with his pale neck, there was nothing to do beside lean in and kiss warm skin before sinking his teeth in and tasting his soulmate for the first time in over a hundred years. Jensen's taste was warm, rich and better than anything Jared had ever tasted before. He didn't know if it was the long time he had waited, the countless feedings that had never been enough, but drinking from Jensen was intimate and sensual and nothing short of perfection. When Jensen's hands came up to tangle in his hair and the boy's body arched against Jared, it was the first time he ever felt home. -¤- ***** Chapter 5 ***** Chapter Notes Please read the warnings before reading: Pairing, rating & kinks: J2 - NC-17 - underage (Jensen 12-13), age difference, vampires, blood-play. -¤- Jensen had barely dared to imagine what it would feel like, Jared's teeth piercing his skin, but when he had thought about it his thoughts hadn't been like this. He had expected nothing but pain and fear but even though the first bite had come with a sharp flash of pain, the initial discomfort had soon been drowned out by crashing waves of pleasure. Never before had he experienced something like the feeling of Jared's lips sealing closed over the wounds and as he slowly drank down Jensen's blood. The intimacy of the act was far from what he had been expecting and without really thinking about it he tilted his head even further to the side, inviting Jared in. It wasn't until Jared pulled away, tongue dragging over the tender skin his fangs had pierced, that Jensen realized just what truly was happening. He had allowed a vampire to bite him, and he had loved every second of it. Even though he didn't remember everything that he knew Jared did, in that moment he felt truly connected to the vampire, he could feel the bond of soulmate between them, tendrils of love and pleasure that bound them together, no matter what body Jensen might be in. "Jesus," he mumbled weakly. "You've never tasted this good before," Jared moaned against Jensen's neck before he licked over the wounds again to catch the blood still slowly trickling from the bite marks. Jared pulled back then and Jensen stared at him, taking in the way the vampire's eyes had gone almost black, wide pupils surrounded by the thinnest circle of brown, before his gaze fell down to where Jared's lips were tinted red with Jensen's blood. Lifting his own hand Jensen winced when his fingers touched the ragged edges where Jared's teeth had broken through his skin and he could see Jared's gaze fall down to track the movement. "Need to..." He watched as the vampire lifted his own hand, just like he had done in the alley, and bit down on his finger, making a drop of deep red blood pool up against pale skin. Jensen stayed perfectly still when his soulmate lifted the finger to drag over the wounds, pushing the blood against the marks and the sensation was unlike anything he had ever felt before. The lingering pain of the wound faded away and Jensen could feel heat and pleasure move inside him from where Jared's fingers were touching his skin and Jensen was hit with the realization that what he felt was that small drop of Jared's blood working its way into Jensen's body. With the tendrils of pleasure spreading through him, he couldn't help but grinding down on Jared's lap and only then did he realize that he was hard. "What's...oh... Jared..." Jensen moaned, pressing his hardness against Jared. "Damnit, Jen," Jared groaned. "I'm supposed to...Slow. The plan was for slow." The words meant nothing to Jensen, not when pleasure was crashing over him time and time again and all he could really think about was how very good it felt, and how connected he felt to his soulmate, the bond between them getting stronger by the second. "Not slow," Jensen protested. Slow was not an option, not with how Jared felt beneath him, the hard firmness of his body feeling so very perfect against Jensen's body. Heat was eating him up from the inside and Jared's fingers against his skin did nothing to sooth it, even less so when the vampire's skin was heated up by the blood he had been drinking. By Jensen's blood. With another little moan Jensen rocked himself down against Jared, gasping when he realized that the vampire was hard, heavy weight of his cock rubbing against Jensen's hard-on. Jensen let his hands stroke over Jared's skin, clutching at his shoulders in an attempt to balance himself to grind down harder, chasing the pleasure that the friction provided. "Oh fuck it," Jared practically growled, lips once more brushing Jensen's neck but no teeth cut through skin. Big hands came down to stroke over Jensen's hips, finding their way until they were spanning Jensen's ass and the next time Jensen pushed down, Jared was meeting his movements and the two of them rocked together with a motion that was both new, and yet so very ingraved in the both of them. Jensen knew it was the first time for him, and yet he knew just how to move to make Jared groan and arch up against him and despite being the person he was, despite his small frame, Jensen had never felt more powerful than he did in that moment. The pleasure was all-consuming, a fire working its way through him and Jensen knew he wouldn't be able to last long no matter how much he wanted to stay just like that, legs spread wide as he straddled Jared and the vampire's hands on him. "Gonna," Jensen whimpered, fingers tangling in Jared's hair. "Yes!" Jared cried out, the sharp points of his fangs dragging over Jensen's skin. The touch didn't hurt, wasn't enough to draw blood, but it was enough for Jensen to tumble over the edge and he cried out as his orgasm hit him, white hot pleasure washing over him and everything faded away that wasn't Jared's hands on him, Jared's body beneath him and suddenly Jared's lips against his. With a flick of his tongue against Jared's mouth, Jared coaxed his lips apart until his tongue could slide inside, tangling with Jensen's and another surge of arousal spiked through Jensen when he realize that the metallic tinge to Jared's mouth was Jensen's own blood. With one last thrust Jared pushed up against Jensen before he stilled, huge body shaking with his orgasm and pride rose up in Jensen when he realized that he had done that, he had made Jared come. "Soulmate," Jared mumbled. "That was... Fuck. Slow just isn't an option with you." Jensen sagged against his mate, hiding his face against Jared's neck as he trembled with the aftershocks travelling through his body. For a while no worry lingered with Jensen, in that moment there was no doubt in his mind that Jared wanted him. No matter how good things had been with Alexander, or how long Jared had spent looking for his lost soulmate, at least his body wanted Jensen, craved it just like Jensen craved Jared. He fell asleep like that, Jared's arms wrapped around him and Jensen's body weighed down with the heaviness of post-orgasmic bliss. The very last thought before sleep claimed him was that he would make sure Jared realized just what he had in Jensen. -¤- -¤- Jensen moaned when Jared's teeth cut into his wrist, sharp fangs piercing skin and even with the sting of pain there was obvious pleasure in the way the boy sprawled out in the big armchair Jared had put him in. He made sure to not take much blood, even though he insisted on never taking too much or too often, Jensen was a small thing and Jared couldn't help but being worried of hurting his mate. "More," Jensen pleaded, fingers coming up to tangle in Jared's hair, trying to hold him done. "I've taken enough," Jared said, sealing the wound with a drop of his blood. He could see the protest forming on Jensen's tongue but he could easily pull away even when the boy tried to hold on to him. Pulling away from Jensen just never got any easier, not when Jared wanted to drown in him but Jensen was too fragile to survive if Jared ever lost control. Standing up he looked down on the boy that meant everything to him, taking in the paleness of his skin, knowing it came both from the blood loss as well as the fact that Jensen didn't really go outside during the few sun hours they actually had. "You need to feed more," Jensen said, words sounding heavy and lethargic as they fell from his lips. Jared could only nod, because it wasn't like the boy was wrong. While feeding from Jensen was the best thing Jared could ever think of, the boy could not give him as much as he wanted and Jared had no choice but to drink from others as well even when he could see the way it affected Jensen. Sometimes he let himself dream of a time when he and Jensen would feed from the same person, licking the lingering taste of someone else's blood from Jensen's full lips. With Jensen's blood still heavy on his tongue, Jared leaned in to press a soft kiss to Jensen's lips before standing up and heading out to find more blood. -¤- - 2013- January - The winter night was bitingly cold but it didn't bother Jared where he was sitting perched on the roof, his gaze locked on where his young mate was sitting just inside the wide living room window, wrapped in blankets in the big armchair. There was something innocent about the young boy and Jared knew he should be getting back to him, he longed for him, but there was something so very special in watching him, taking in the way his head rose at the smallest sound and the way his fingertips fell to place on his wrist that Jared usually fed from. Jared might not be there, right next to Jensen, but that little touch was enough to breach the distance between them. Each day was a struggle to not bite down hard into Jensen's neck and take him, change him for good, but even with the things that had happened between them since the first time he had tasted Jensen's blood he wasn't prepared to take the final step. He needed Jensen to ask for it, to want it just as much as Jared did but even with his personal longing to make Jensen his forever he didn't believe the boy was ready for it. After what happened to Evelyn, he couldn't help but fear losing his soulmate once more but there was no way he would ever force Jensen into anything and he knew the boy wasn't ready. He just didn't know how long he would be able to wait before he turned the boy. Jared allowed himself another minutes of watching Jensen before he moved away, jumping down from the neighbor's high rooftop, the only place elevated enough to make him able to see Jensen. Making his way in towards the city core he could feel the bond he shared with Jensen stretch out, could feel the distance like a rubber band between them. When his teeth sank into human flesh he knew that the only reason it tasted so good was because in the back of his mind he could still sense Jensen and he wondered how much his boy was able to sense him back. Returning back to their home, skin heated with the blood he had taken and the second the door opened he found out just how much Jensen fet the bond because even though Jared knew he had made no sound walking across the garden his young mate was waiting just inside the door but he didn't step up to Jared, instead his hands were balled into fists and there was a mixture of hurt and anger in his eyes. "Stop leaving me behind," he demanded before Jared even had time to close the door. "It's not fair!" "Jensen," Jared started but Jensen interrupted him. "I'm your mate," Jensen said angrily. "And you just leave me here, all I see is this house. I've barely been outside for months." "We went out for Christmas," Jared pointed out because he had taken Jensen out on Christmas Eve, allowing the both of them some time to just be even though he still feared people looking for the boy that he had saved. "It's...not the same," Jensen sighed. "I just...why don't we do things? We could...do something. Didn't you ever do things with..." Jensen went silent and his gaze fell away from Jared's and it was obvious just what he had been so very close to asking. It wasn't the first time Jensen had fallen silent before he asked about Alexander and Jared was sure that the more memories of his old life that Jensen got back, the closer he came to asking questions that Jared didn't know if he was ready to deal with. "Take me with you," Jensen asked, looking up at Jared with determination on his face. "I wanna...please, Jared. Take me with you." "No," Jared answered without hesitation. "It's not safe. We don't even know if Carl... if anyone is looking for you. I'm strong, but you're just a kid..." All color drained from Jensen's face and Jared wanted to kick himself when he realized just what he had said. "Just a kid?" Jensen said, his voice sounding like he had to force the words out. "That's why you're not changing me?" -¤- -¤- With the words out in the open, hanging heavy between them, Jensen closed his eyes and tried to keep his own breathing in check. It was the thing he had been wondering since the first time Jared's teeth had pierced his skin, the need to know growing stronger and stronger each time Jared drank from him and yet never spoke of the possibility of Jensen himself changing. "There's nothing just about you," Jared said but Jensen didn't look up at him. "You've said you're never gonna leave me, never will allow anything to happen to me," Jensen said, his eyes still closed. "So why won't you turn me?" "Because you're not ready," Jared said softly and the next moment Jensen felt impossibly strong arms wrap around him and he was lifted up into the air. "You think you want this, but you don't know what it means, you don't..." The vampire fell silent but he held Jensen still, his hands softly moving over Jensen's body and even though the worry was still there but with Jared's body against him, it didn't seem as important as it had before. Not when there was so much emotions in Jared's voice. "Will...you?" Jensen asked, arching into Jared's body. "One day?" He didn't need to say more than that, just from the way Jared went still against him he could tell that Jared understood just what he meant. "One day I will," Jared promised. "I can't live without you. One day you'll be ready." Jensen found himself carried through the room and lowered down on the couch, Jared's body looming above him and Jensen felt tiny in comparison to the bulk and muscle of his soulmate. "Tell me," Jensen whispered, moaning softly when Jared leaned down to press his lips to the corner of Jensen's mouth. "Tell me how it will happen." Jared tensed up above him, going that kind of perfect still that only a vampire was able to accomplish and Jensen gnawed worriedly on his lower lip, close to taking the question back when Jared relaxed and he kissed his way down Jensen's jaw until his lips were hovering over the pulse point of Jensen's throat. "I will bite you, drink your blood down," Jared whispered against his skin, trailing his tongue to the sensitive point below Jensen's ear. "Right here, bite down deep and hard and drink until your heart is going slow with the blood loss and you're closing in on death. Your blood will burn like fire inside me." The barely there touch of Jared's lips had Jensen shivering, his cock hard and throbbing and his head was spinning with all the sensations and emotions that Jared so easily awoke within him. "You will kill me?" Jensen gasped. "Almost," Jared answered, dragging the tips of his fangs over Jensen's skin. "Then I'll feed you my blood, fill you with it and let it change you from the inside. See your lips painted red with it. Take your life from you and give you a new one in return, tie you to me forever with blood." "Can't I... taste you now?" Jensen asked, a low keening leaving him when Jared pushed up to kneel beside him. "Are you sure?" Jared said, his fingers already finding their way in under Jensen's sweater. "It won't change you, not when you're not..." "Dying," Jensen filled in. "Did you ever... do this with Alexander?" Jared smiled down at him, pressing a soft kiss to Jensen's lips before he lifted his wrist to his mouth and Jensen could hear the sound of teeth breaking through vampire skin. "He never asked me," Jared said, pressing the bleeding wounds to Jensen's lips. "I've never had anyone drink my blood. You'll be the first one." Jensen had expected the blood to make him feel bad, to make him sick but instead all he felt was the already there pleasure soaring even higher, liquid heat sliding down his throat before it exploded through his body, putting every nerve ending on fire. "My soulmate," Jared breathed out. When he pulled his wrist away, Jensen tried to follow him, needing to feel the connection between them and the knowledge that he was the first one Jared had ever shared that with made it so much better. "Please...need to..." he moaned. "Jared, touch me." There was no hesitation before Jared's big hands fell down to unbutton Jensen's jeans, pushing the rough fabric down and Jensen whimpered when Jared's huge hand closed around his cock at the same time as the man leaned in and his tongue curled over the head of Jensen's cock to gather up the drops of pre-come gathered there. In comparison to Jensen's heated skin, Jared's tongue felt cold but still so good it took Jensen's breath away and his hips snapped up before he could try to control it. He was sure having someone's mouth on you shouldn't feel like that, Jared's mouth was tight and wet around him but there was no heat there but there was a pleasure unlike anything Jensen had felt before. The combination of the engulfing heat of Jared's blood inside him, the man's mouth and hands so cold against him had Jensen's orgasm already building inside of him and he let one hand fall down to tangle in Jared's hair. "So good, please Jared. I can feel you...inside me. God, your blood inside me. So very...oh... Jay... Want you to... Wanna be with you, always. Make me yours, please make me..." The almost incoherent babble that fell from his lips ended in a sharp cry as he came, whole body trembling as Jared sucked him through his release and he could feel the heat of his own come warming up Jared's tongue. He was still shivering with the aftershocks of his orgasm when Jared kissed his way up Jensen's body and up to his lips and when they kissed Jensen could taste the combination of his own come mingled with Jared's blood. He could feel Jared move against him as the vampire pushed his own clothing away until Jensen felt the hard length of Jared's cock against his own skin and even filled with blood there was some difference in temperature between their bodies. Jensen managed to get one hand down between them and he wrapped his hand around Jared's cock only to have the vampire's hand cover his own the next moment. "Do it," Jared ordered. "My wonderful soulmate, do it. I need to feel your hands on me, your taste on my tongue. And one day you'll be ready for me. Ready for forever." Jensen shivered when he felt Jared shake with the force of his orgasm, pulsing come over Jensen's softening cock and up over his belly. The feel of Jared like that, his come marking Jensen's skin even when his blood was still on Jensen's tongue, swiped away the last of the fears and worries and Jensen clung to his soulmate, needing the man close to him. No matter what Jensen had been before, no matter what incarnations of him Jared had known and loved, for the first time he didn't doubt that Jared loved him, Jensen, and not only because of who he had once been. Jensen had just gotten something that no one had before him and he was sure that Jared would willingly wait until Jensen was ready for more. ***** Chapter 6 ***** -¤- The sun was slowly sinking down towards the horizon when Jensen cast one last look behind him before he let the gate slide close as he made his way out into the city. It was a novelty, stepping outside with the sun still warming his skin and he wondered how much he would miss it the day he talked Jared into changing him, binding them together for good. He was sure that Jared wouldn't be all too thrilled when he found out that Jensen had gone outside without him, ever since the vampire had wrapped him up in strong arms and carried him away from the foster home, he had been protective bordering on the extreme and Jensen longed for when he would be strong enough for no one to be able to hurt him. He knew that Jared didn't know what day it was, had said nothing when February ticked over to March and Jensen knew it was his own fault for not having said anything, but then birthdays weren't celebrated when you were in the system, no one cared about the birthday of a kid with no family. Maybe Jared would have cared had he known, Jensen was quite sure he would, and yet he hadn't dared to say a word. Instead he snuck outside while Jared was pulled under by the sunlight, the lethargy that made it almost impossible for him to keep his eyes open, and Jensen clenched his hand around the crumpled up bills and few coins in his pocket. Maybe no one else knew about his birthday, but at least he could get himself something. With the sky slowly edging into gold and pink with the setting sun, he knew he had to hurry up before Jared woke up to find him gone and he knew he should have left earlier, but pulling away from Jared had been too hard, the man's arm securely wrapped around his waist even in sleep and a part of Jensen was scared to leave the comfort of their home. It had taken a long time to gather up courage before he had pulled away from the bed and headed outside. The city was alive around him, people and cars everywhere, so very different from the evening when he and Jared usually went outside and Jensen couldn't stop a small smile as he made his way through crowded streets. He wasn't even sure why it was so important for him to get outside and spend what little money he had and he tried to not think about it too much when he made his way into a small bookstore that always was closed when he and Jared ventured outside. "Welcome, what can I help you with, kid?" Jensen frowned slightly at being called a kid, months spent with Jared had made him feel older than his years, even older than the years in foster care had and he didn't like the sound of it. "Just looking," Jensen said and made his way in between full shelves, letting his fingers drag over pristine books and he knew he was smiling again. Even though a part of him wanted to linger in the store, he made his way quickly to the back corner where he found just what he had been looking for and grinned when he picked out the books written about vampire lore. He wasn't sure they would tell him much that his time with Jared hadn't already done, but he wanted to at least try to find out more about the life he was planning for himself. "Heavy reading," the guy behind the counter said when Jensen put up three volumes. "Shouldn't you be reading comic books?" "I want these," Jensen said, pushing the books closer. "Yeah, yeah," the guy, Rick according to his nametag, said and scanned the books but there was an amused little smile on his lips when he took Jensen's money. "Sure you don't want a comic book?" Jensen practically pulled the bag out of his hands when it was handed to him and suddenly all he wanted was to go back to Jared. People treated him differently when he had Jared next to him, like maybe they knew that Jared could be dangerous and they would do good to not anger him. Walking back out he was lost in thought, all too focused on getting back to Jared that he barely noticed where he was going. He knew it would be like that for him, forever, if Jared agreed to change him, that people would always see him as nothing more than a boy, but then he would have Jared. His soulmate never made him feel like a kid, even when he held back for Jensen's own good. For all the doubts he'd had ever since he had accepted what he was to Jared, in that moment he was sure that he knew what he wanted. He could deal with anything as long as he got to be with Jared, he didn't feel complete without Jared close and he could feel the bond between them strengthen with each step he took closer to their home. Clutching his bag closer he breathed out a deep sigh, relaxing and he felt better than he could remember feeling even when Jared left him sated in their bed. He knew what he wanted and he couldn't wait for Jared to give it all to him. With that knowledge secure in his mind he hurried his steps to make it home, feeling Jared coming closer and closer and he was surprised to realize that he could actually feel Jared slowly start to wake up. It was the feel of his mate that made him feel like he was in a hurry, eager to get back and a quick decision made him turn into an alley that he knew was a short cut. He never heard the screech of metal and tires until it was too late. -¤- -¤- The pain that tore Jared from sleep wasn't his own and it took a few agonizing moments before he was able to catch his breath enough to make his mind connect with what was happening. It didn't take long and as soon as he realized what must be happening he was in motion, moving faster than he ever had before in his long life. He had lost his mate before and he couldn't, wouldn't, let it happen again. The bond with Jensen was still there, strong with the pain his mate was in and it was no problem for Jared to follow it, almost breaking down the door before he managed to get the lock open. He had no idea why Jensen had chosen to leave the house, but at least the bond allowed him to move straight towards wherever Jensen was, no need to search for him when he could feel the boy's pain and fear traveling through the bond until Jared didn't know where his emotions ended and Jensen's started. When he got even closer he tried to get a grip of the boy's thoughts, but it was all just a jumble that he wasn't able to sort through and Jared wasn't even sure that Jensen was actually conscious. He moved over the rooftops, long leaps taking him from one to the next without any real risk of people seeing him, the movements were much too fast for the human eye. He could feel himself coming closer, but the sigh of relief got caught in his throat when he took in the sight in front of him, realizing it was even worse than he had expected. . Jensen's body lay crumbled at the side of the street, half hidden behind a big dumpster and Jared wondered just why his soulmate had chosen to take the path through an alley, even with it being shorter his young mate should know better. Landing on the ground he could feel the familiar scent of Jensen's blood fill his nostrils and terror gripped him tightly when he saw how much blood was pooling around his boy. He didn't even dare to touch him, not when he was sure that Jensen had so many broken bones that the smallest touch might be the one to end him. "Jensen, no!" Jared cried out as he fell down on his knees next to the boy. "Don't you dare! I've found you again and I'm not losing you. I can't lose you, you're everything. Please, Jen. Please look at me, Jensen. Can you hear me? Jensen?" The boy opened his eyes but Jared could see no recognition in the glassy green of Jensen's eyes, none of the spark that he loved so much and there was no doubt in his mind that Jensen was fading, and fading fast. It wasn't an option, it just wasn't, and Jared didn't need to think about it before he let his teeth dig deep into his wrist and he pressed the bleeding wounds to Jensen's lips. Even closer to death than life, Jensen's lips closed over the small puncture holes and Jared saw him swallow a few times. With his bleeding wrist still pressed to Jensen's lips, Jared leaned down towards Jensen's neck and careful not to shift the boy, he let his teeth pierce Jensen's skin. Jensen barely reacted to the bite, nothing more than a low whine left him when Jared took the first deep swallow. He would save Jensen, because failing just wasn't an option. Out on the main road he could hear the sounds of the world still moving on; people talking and laughing and cars driving by and he knew there was a risk someone would step into the alley and see them but he just couldn't care. The danger of being found was nothing compared to the danger of losing Jensen and Jared pressed his bleeding wrist harder against the boy's lips, begging him to take more. Then suddenly Jensen's body arched enough for Jared to be able to hear the grind of broken bones and he was sure that if not for his skin against the boy's mouth Jensen would be screaming, but his lips locked firmer over the wound and Jared wanted to let the entire world know when Jensen's teeth bit down around the wound and the boy truly started drinking. He had to hold him down, press him back against the hard ground, when the boy's whole body started shaking and Jared knew it was his blood working Jensen's system, taking over while Jared drained the human blood from him. It was painful to hear, the muffled groans and cries of pain as Jensen's body fought to put itself back together again at the same time as every part of him was shifting and changing into something new. Jensen's blood was fire and ambrosia on Jared's tongue and, even with the fear still in both their systems, Jared couldn't deny how good it was to feel Jensen's blood slide down his throat, more than he had ever taken before and he tried to not think of the blood that Jensen had already lost, the blood that coloured the ground red. Even louder than the sounds from the street, Jared could hear the sound of Jensen's rapidly beating heart, a thudding too fast to be able to last long and he felt a surge of panic when the heart all of a sudden let out a few stuttering beats before it stopped and no matter the noises surrounding him, he felt like silence had engulfed him. Jensen had been drinking from him, teeth almost gnawing at his skin in the search for more but now he lay perfectly still and pale on the ground and Jared had to pull away from him, licking still warm blood from his lips as he stared down at the boy, counting the seconds. The silence stretched out, Jensen still unmoving and Jared felt his world shatter around him, anger and despair clawing at his insides and he was just about to give in when the stillness was punctuated by Jensen pulling in one sudden, ragged breath.. In that second the soulmate bond between them snapped fully into place and Jared felt more connected to Jensen than he could ever imagine, their minds and souls entwining until he knew they could never be able to live without each other again. Jensen lay still, staring up at Jared with eyes that were greener than he had ever seen before and Jared didn't know what to say, but before he could get a word out, Jensen's back arched up off the ground and his mouth opened. The scream that left his lips was inhuman in it's pain and fear and Jared didn't even think twice before he wrapped Jensen in his arms and took off running, making sure to get the both of them safe once more. -¤- -¤- The pain was blinding, raw and hot it clawed its way through Jensen and wiped away anything that wasn't hurt and make it stop. He didn't know how long had passed before he realized that the sound he heard was his own screaming, his own pained sobs and his own curses as the fire engulfed every part of him. Fighting against the pain he thought he could remember something before it, hard ground and another pain, one that seemed pale in comparison to what was burning in his veins now and he remembered something slamming into him, could remember the sound of his own bones breaking before he was left on the ground. Left to die. Many times he had imagined his own death, thought of just how it would come to pass, if it would be wanted or not, painful or not. Never had he expected the kind of pain he was in, though. Lately he had imagined himself inviting death in, it coming to him in the form of hazel eyes, soft hair, sharp teeth and the taste of blood on his lips. It was that thought that managed to slowly drag him out of the sea of pain, wiping the fog of it away from his mind until he could remember more clearly and the next time his mouth opened, it wasn't to let out another guttural scream, instead he cried out for the one person he was sure would always save him. "Jared!" Even through the overwhelming pain could he feel a hand pressing down on his chest and his nose was filled with Jared's scent, even though it was stronger and more intoxicating than he had ever felt it before. "I'm here," Jared's voice penetrated his foggy mind. "You'll be okay, I got you, Jensen. They'll never tear us apart again, you hear me? You and me for fucking ever this time." "Hurts," Jensen managed to get out through clenched teeth. "I know," Jared answered. "You were badly hurt, Jen, even... Damnit. Even with my blood I wasn't sure you'd make it, you had lost so much of your own blood already. Your body is healing and if I could make it hurt less, I would. I promise you I would!" Realization made Jensen gasp as Jared's words fully registered. He knew he shouldn't have survived the car hitting him, and he also knew there was only one way he could still be alive. Even though alive might be the wrong word considering what he was changing into. "I'm... You... turned me?" he gasped, forcing his eyes open even though the light stung his eyes. Jared's face came into focus, mere inches from his own and Jared's eyes were dark but his skin was flushed and Jensen knew it was because of him, because of the blood Jared had taken from him. The blood that Jared had replaced with his own. "You and me, forever." Jensen wanted to speak, to tell Jared how happy he was that Jared had finally changed him, but when he opened his mouth the next time, another wave of pain hit him hard and he couldn't hold back another scream before everything faded to black. -¤- His whole body ached the next time he managed to come awake and he lay still for several long moments, staring up against an unfamiliar ceiling and he blamed his sleep heavy mind for how long it took him to realize that the room was dark, not a single light lit and yet he could see clearly, the shadows hiding nothing. When he pushed up into sitting position his movements were fast enough to make him dizzy for a moment and he hadn't expected his own speed to be so very different from being carried in Jared's arms when the man moved. Jensen knew his body was healed, could feel the strength in his own limbs as he stretched and even with the lingering burn in his muscles, he couldn't hold back a smile. He didn't need to look for Jared, not when he could tell exactly where his mate was and he knew Jared must be able to tell that he was awake as well. Could feel him moving closer by the second and Jensen wasted no time moving through the room and flinging the door open hard enough for the hinges to groan in protest. He didn't have time to look around before he was wrapped tightly in Jared's arms. "Finally!" Jared breathed against the top of Jensen's head. "Jared," Jensen smiled and clung to him. "How long?" "Two days," Jared answered the second the question was out. "You were awake once but I'm not sure you remember that." "I do," Jensen nodded. Jared's arms around him were tighter than they had ever been and for the first time ever Jensen realized just how much Jared must have been holding back with him, how much he must have worked to make sure he never hurt Jensen. "I'm alive," Jensen mumbled, more to himself than to Jared. Jared stood up with Jensen wrapped in his arm, his strength holding them close together and Jensen relished in the feel of Jared's muscles working under his skin and how very different Jared's body felt against his own when they were the same temperature, when Jensen no longer was the weak one. "You're better than alive," Jared said with conviction. The next moment his lips were on Jensen's, tongue diving in to tangle with his own and Jensen moaned when the deep kiss sent sparks of pleasure down his spine. Jensen wanted it badly, wanted to feel Jared in ways he had never done before but he already felt his eyes starting to fall close. "Sunrise?" he asked when Jared pulled back, walking the two of them back to the bed Jensen had just left. "You can feel it now, can't you?" Jared asked, his lips dragging down Jensen's neck. "It's drawing close yes. You'll just need to feed first, your body isn't fully healed yet." "Feed..." Jensen had always known it would be something he needed to do if he ever got Jared to turn him; drinking the blood of humans just like Jared did, but the mere thought of drinking from someone beside Jared felt wrong. "I know..." Jared said and leaned in drag the tips of his teeth over Jensen's neck, not hard enough to break skin. "I've fed already. You're too weak to go outside, not ready for that yet and I'm not ready to have you feed from anyone but me. Not yet at least, when we do that, it'll be together and you'll love it. I promise." Jared held up his wrist to Jensen's lips and Jensen gasped when he felt his own fangs lengthen and turn sharper, gracing against his lower lip before he for the first time could bite into Jared's arm, biting down hard and deep until his mouth was filled with hot blood. Drinking from Jared had always been amazing, but now Jensen thought he could actually taste the connection between them, the heat and the want tangling between them. "That's good," he heard Jared's voice through the rush of blood in his ears. "Drink down good, drink of me and know it'll always be like this. Feed from me, little vampire." -¤- ***** Chapter 7 ***** Chapter Notes Pairing, rating & kinks: J2 (slight J2/omc) - NC-17 - underage (Jensen 12-13), age difference, vampires, blood-play. Jared watched as the young man writhed on the bed, deep moans rumbling through his chest and his legs spread wide, hard cock obvious against the stretched denim but as aroused as the man was, he did nothing to try and get some release. "Was this what you expected?" Jared asked, taking a step closer to the bed. "No!" he gasped. "God, no!" "I think he likes it," Jared said, looking down at Jensen where he was leaning over the man, his tongue sliding down the man's neck. "So wrong," the man moaned. "So fucking wrong..." A smirk tugged at Jared's lips, because no matter how much the man had hesitated and protested he hadn't pulled away when Jensen had slid up on his lap. They never did. "It's not wrong," Jensen objected. "I want this, he wants this and most of all, you want this. Don't you want us? We're gonna make you feel so good, you can't imagine how good it'll feel." His tongue was pressing against the man's pulse point and Jared could see the sharp edges of his teeth where they were hovering over skin. In the years since Jensen's turning it wasn't the first time they had shared someone between them and Jared wasn't jealous, he knew that they would be able to distract the man before things would go too far. "Yeah I want it," the man moaned. "So help me god, but I want it." "Then you'll get it, Tim," Jared said as he slid down on the bed opposite of Jensen, Tim caught between them and another shiver ran through the man's body when Jared lifted the human's hand up to press against his lips. The taste of human skin was always mesmerizing and Jared flicked his tongue out, tracing over skin and he felt the blood pump through the veins just under his tongue. He met Jensen's gaze over Tim's body, the two of them as always on the same page and he saw Jensen's hand slide down to rest on the inside of Tim's thigh. They waited for the deep groan and the rise of his hips, an obvious search for friction, before they both bit down at the same time. Tim cried out in shock and pain but the next moment Jared could smell his release even if it hadn't been obvious from the way the man's body shook between them. Drinking down the man's blood with Jensen's gaze locked on him was always breathtaking, the closest they could come to the intimacy of drinking from each other. "Enough," Jared groaned, pulling back from the rich taste of blood and he saw Jensen pull away as well, licking stray droplets of blood from his lips. "What..." Tim moaned, his body still shaking with the aftershocks of his orgasm. "How..." Jared bit down on his own finger, rubbing his blood over the puncture wounds on Tim's wrist and watching as they closed and faded away until only two pink spots were showing. He knew that they as well would be gone within the hour, nothing left to show what had happened. He saw Jensen do the same thing, although his boy favored biting down on the tip of his tongue to get the healing blood and a weak whimper left Tim's lips when Jensen lapped the blood over the wound. He wasn't surprised when Jensen moved up to straddle Tim's waist, leaning forward until they were face to face and Jared looked at the flush of his mate's skin, the lust still clearly visible in Jensen's eyes. "You'll not remember me," Jensen said quietly, looking into Tim's eyes. "Don't...wanna forget..." Tim groaned, his fingers raising to touch the spot where Jensen's teeth had broken his skin. "You had a wonderful night," Jensen said, his voice quiet and firm. "You and the man you met at the club, but you will not remember it in detail. Not now, not ever." It was obvious when Jensen's words penetrated Tim's mind, the way his eyes glazed over and he blinked a few times before he nodded slowly. Jensen looked over to Jared, hesitating for a moment but then he leaned in and pressed a soft, almost chaste, kiss to Tim's lips before he pushed up and off the man, standing beside the bed and looking over towards Jared. With a quick smile towards his mate, Jared leaned forward and looked into Tim's grey eyes. "Go to sleep," he ordered the human. "And know that you've done good, we thank you." Tim blinked a few more times but then his eyelids drifted shut and he slipped into a deep sleep and Jared breathed out quietly, knowing that the human would never fully remember what had happened to him. "I hate this part," Jensen said quietly, reaching out to stroke over Tim's forehead. "He helps us be what we are, and yet he can never know." "I know," Jared agreed. Five years in and his mate had never gotten fully used to using humans for blood but Jared was pleased that Jensen had never killed anyone. That was one thing he would protect his young boy from ever having to do. "Home?" Jensen asked, moving towards the door and Jared followed him, taking in the soundless grace with which his young mate moved. "Yeah," Jared agreed and with one last look back towards the sleeping man on the bed he made his way out of the apartment. Jensen was barely more than a soundless shadow at his side as they made their way across the town, heading back to penthouse that they had called theirs for the last few months, the last one in a row of apartments and houses that they left behind long before anyone would start asking questions about a boy that never aged and the man that was always right by his side. They stopped outside their apartment building rather than getting up to the roof in their own way, even though it was a possibility. After a few near-misses in Jensen's early days of his new life, they both knew better than the act like the vampires that they were anywhere near to the place they called home. Instead they walked inside side by side and Jared smirked when he saw their fake name on the list of residents down by the door. Neither of them ever bothered to correct people that called them father and son, with Jensen's everlasting youth it was the obvious cover and if Jensen sometimes seemed to get off on the thought, Jared was not one for complaining. Stepping inside their apartment Jared carefully locked the door behind them, sliding the chain in place and securing the extra locks that made sure no one would be able to break into the apartment during their resting hours. He didn't need to look around to know that Jensen was making sure the windows of their bedroom were secured, no risk of sunlight coming through. "There's still some time until sunrise," Jared said, leaning against the door frame of their bedroom. Jensen turned to face him and Jared took in the slight flush of his soulmates skin, the blood warming his skin and he was in motion within seconds. They crashed together at the foot of the bed and Jared wasted no time pushing Jensen down on the bed and they tore at each other's clothes, getting skin on skin and Jared wondered if he would ever get enough of feeling Jensen pressed up close. Feeling slender limbs tangling with his own he pressed Jensen down hard, pinning him down as he leaned in to bite down on the firm expanse of Jensen's throat. He had thought that maybe he would miss how soft Jensen had once been, but five years into forever and he couldn't imagine anything but the hard body beneath him. This was how Jensen was supposed to be, what he had always been destined for and maybe it wasn't in the form that Jared had imagined, but there was nothing he would ever change about Jensen. There were no regrets. -¤- -¤- Having Jared drink from him sent heavy waves of pleasure through Jensen's body, pushing the already desperate need higher and higher as he clung to his mate and tilted his head to the side, offering himself up for Jared. It was even better thanks to the fresh blood in his system and even though they hadn't taken much from Tim it was still enough to ensure this was how they would spend the time until sunrise. With warm blood in his body and Jared's teeth biting down hard, Jensen's cock was already rock hard and he groaned in relief when Jared stripped them both out of their last remaining clothes and pressed them close again. He could remember the time when Jared had felt cold to the touch and while he knew that they both were cold, it never felt like that when Jared was quickly driving him insane with pleasure. Jensen gave just as good as he got, fingers raking down marks over Jared's back even though they faded back into nothing within seconds. "Jay..." he groaned and Jared pulled back, the wounds on Jensen's neck healing before his mate had licked his lips clean. "What?" Jared asked, his big hands still moving over Jensen's body. "Like this..." Jensen said and pushed up, straddling Jared's lap and Jared went willingly, stretching out on the bed with Jensen on top of him. He knew that Jared would always be bigger than him, that much he had managed to accept after months of emotions like a roller coaster but Jensen thought he had come to terms with his never ending youth, he loved the size difference between them. But small as he was, his body forever locked into his fourteen year old frame, he could still push Jared down and he loved the power of feeling his soulmate's strong body beneath him. Fumbling for the bedside drawer he managed to get his hand on the lube, and he leaned forward to sink his own teeth into Jared's skin at the same time as he reached behind himself to push two slick fingers inside. There was no longer any burn accompanying the stretch of the fingers sliding in, all he could feel was intense pleasure radiating through his body, even more so when Jared sunk his teeth into Jensen's arm, tongue swirling over the bitemarks and while it wasn't the same as Jared biting down into his neck, it still felt good enough for Jensen to cry out with the pleasure of it. "Fucking hell you taste good, baby," Jared growled. "Do it, ride me. Wanna taste your blood while you ride me." Without really thinking about it, Jensen pulled his fingers free from his own body, instead reaching to the still bleeding wound on his arms and slicking his fingers with the blood before reaching down to wrap bloodied fingers around Jared's cock. The mixture of lube, pre-come and blood made the slide of his hand easy and he didn't waste any time before he balanced himself over Jared's hard cock, letting it push against his slick hole but he didn't push down. As much as he wanted to be on top, being the one in control, he also loved when Jared filly showed how much he wanted Jensen. "So damn perfect," Jared groaned, gripping Jensen's hips so hard that he knew had he still been human, the grip would have shattered bones. With one hard thrust, Jared buried himself balls deep in Jensen and as always between the two of them, all vestiges of self control faded way. Jensen groaned and with each hard thrust of Jared's hips, he met his mate with just as much as he took. Had he been human, there would be bruises on his skin but instead all he felt was pleasure and the deep hunger for blood. It didn't matter that they had fed earlier, once there was skin on skin and Jared thrusting deep into him, Jensen was overcome with the need to taste his mate. He leaned forward, letting his sharp teeth dig into the hard muscles on Jared's chest at the same time as Jared lifted Jensen's wrist to his lips and bit down. Feeling Jared inside him was always good, the feel of the stretch and the brush of his rock hard cock against his prostate, but even the amazing could become even better when Jared's blood was on his tongue, his own blood being swallowed by his mate. They moved together, bodies sliding together with a force and a desperation that Jensen had never felt as a human and soon Jensen took control of it all, holding Jared down as he rode his mate with circlings rolls of his hips, chasing his orgasm with each slide down. "I love you," Jared moaned beneath him. "Always, forever." "Love you too," Jensen gasped, throwing his head back as his orgasm exploded through him, his body shaking in the overwhelming pleasure of it all. He didn't need hands on his dick, didn't need anything more than Jared's cock deep inside him and the trading of their blood to come hard, coating both their bellies with come at the same time as Jared's cock twitched inside him, spilling deep. Despite Jared coming, filling him up, his soulmate's cock didn't soften inside him and Jensen wasn't surprised when Jared lifted him up easily, putting him down on his belly and Jensen hissed when his own soft cock rubbed against the sheets. Jared straddled his upper thighs, cock slotting in between Jensen's ass cheek and he couldn't hold back his own ragged pleasure filled sob when Jared fitted them ip against each other and sunk in deep and hard. "Fuck..." Jensen gasped, hands fisting into the sheets and he heard the sound of fabric ripping as he tried to arch back into Jared's hard thrusts. "Just like that," Jared groaned and Jensen felt the man lean forward to sink teeth into Jensen's shoulder. The smell of blood and sex was heavy in the air, wrapping tightly around them and Jensen got lost in it, got lost in the feel of Jared above and inside him, lost in the way their bodies moved together. He sometimes missed the sweat that had once slicked his body when Jared worked him towards an orgasm, but the never ending energy, the hardness of their bodies thrusting together was better than anything his human body could ever have granted him. "I could do this all night," Jared groaned. "Just take you, again and again. Your tight ass around me, your blood on my tongue." "The night... is almost over..:" Jensen moaned. "We've got more nights," Jared answered, circling his hips and hitting Jensen's prostate perfectly. For all the times he had cursed his never aging body, all the times he had screamed and thrown things as his mind grew up and his body remained frozen in place, he wouldn't trade this life for anything. When they both tumbled over the edge, Jensen could feel Jared's pleasure just as clearly as his own, tangled together until there was no telling where one ended and the other began. In that moment Jensen's size or age didn't matter, nothing mattered but them. It wasn't Jensen's body that Jared loved after all. Their bond was deeper that that, it went soul deep. - The End- Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!