Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/6805120.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/
      Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      South_Park
  Relationship:
      Kyle_Broflovski/Eric_Cartman
  Character:
      Eric_Cartman, Kyle_Broflovski, Craig_Tucker
  Additional Tags:
      Eating_Disorders, Bullying, High_School, Depression
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-05-10 Chapters: 4/? Words: 3158
****** Some Things Never Change ******
by Boneheart
Summary
     I am fatass, just fatass. At this point being called Cartman would be
     a blessing. Somehow, fatass just makes me less of a human & more of
     an object, but maybe I am just an object.
Notes
     Disclaimer: I do not own anything. South Park belongs to Trey Parker
     & Matt Stone. Thus is purely a fanfiction(a shitty one at that)
     Author's Note: First chapters almost always suck, mine is no
     exception.
     Warnings: This story deals with depression, bulmia, homosexuality, &
     possible rape.
See the end of the work for more notes
***** Chapter 1 *****
I am fatass, just fatass. At this point being called Cartman would be a
blessing. Somehow, fatass just makes me less of a human & more of an object,
but maybe I am just an object.
I don't know exactly when it started, but as everyone grew up people took less
& less of my bullshit. Until finally I became nothing to them. I had tried to
change, I really had, but any time I tried doing something good people thought
it was a scam. It was to late, I had done to much.
By eighth grade not even Butters would hang around me, not that I blamed him.
Out of everyone I'd treated him the worst next to Kyle.
Ah Kyle...Over the years I've accepted that I have an interest in males. The
ironic part? I wanted Kyle more than anything. That's right, I'm in love with
the enemy, the person who hates me more than anyone... Kyle Broflovski.
He'd never fall for me, not after everything I've done, never mind how ugly I
am. When high-school started Kyle & the rest if my former group had became the
popular crowd, along with Craig's posse & the cheerleaders...go figure.
Kyle had not only joined track, but became the best basketball player in the
entire school. His lean muscles & tall 6'2 height had done wonders for him.
Like everbody else he'd grown out of his hat & orange coat. You'd almost always
see him in either his sports uniforms or a dark green hoody.
Stan still dated that slut Wendy off & on. He also ended up as quarterback,
like no one saw that coming. You'd normally see him in football gear or jeans &
blue sweatshirt. He stood an inch above Kyle at an intimidating 6'3.
Then there was Kenny, when he wasn't getting high out if his mind & spreading
his seed he does manage to pull C's & B's as far as grades go. Not much can be
said about him, 5'10 & the school's sex god in an orange hood, although it
stays down most of the time. Pretty much it.
Last of all was me. Aside from being 280 pounds of pure, disgusting body fat &
standing at a pitiful 5'6 I had become the complete opposite of the childhood
me. I no longer was the loud, bigoted Nazi everyone knew & hated. I wore a
simple grey hoody with greasy food stains & grey sweats to match. No point
dressing to impress if every hates you right?
I had went from the bully to the bullied curtsy of Craig Tucker & his
followers. Even when my conscious had caught up to me he continues to terrorize
me, I swear the fucker gets off on it.
This was exactly why I dreaded starting junior year. It was the first day &
already I wanted to go home. Damn the school, fucking lockers are organized abc
order by last name like always. This wouldn't be such a bad thing if it weren't
for the fact that Broflovski & Cartman were so close name wise.
Kyle was already at his locker, leaning on it like he was waiting for
something. "Perfect...", I had to get to mine. I dragged myself to my locker,
head down trying to avoid eye contact. I could feel him staring at me as I
yanked my locker open & quickly shoved my books in. I slammed my locker shut &
quickly headed for class. I couldn't handle the staring, I was afraid he'd say
something, rightly so.
"Can't even dress yourself fatass?"
I stopped in my tracks, hands opening & closing. The words...they were far from
the worst things said to me, but still cut like a knife. I opened my mouth to
say something then closed it again. There was no point in getting my ass kicked
by Kyle, Craig does that enough.
I walked away without replying, something told me this year would be worse than
others.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Notes
     Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or these Characters
See the end of the chapter for more notes
I trudge down the street coffee in hand. My shoes soaking in the slushy snow.
I'm not exactly eager to get home, but it's far better then that shit hole of a
school.
The day had been...better than expected. I managed not to get my ass kicked my
Craig so that's always a good thing.
Kyle bothered me though, every class we shared he'd just stare with that
unreadable expression. It made me uneasy.
I continue to brood in my thoughts. Not noticing the car speed by until I'm
soaked. Making me drop my coffee in shock.
"Asshole!" I yell, but the cars long gone.
I sigh & continue to walk home. Stupid assshole needs to learn how to drive. As
I walk up to my house I notice moms car is gone.
'Good, I didn't feel like dealing with her anyways. ' I tell myself
I enter my house & head for the kitchen, not bothering to turn the lights on. I
immediately jerk the fridge open & pull out 5 or 9 slices of left over pizza.
I sigh,"food is comfort. At least it loves me..."
'It can't love you. It's an inanimate object you fat prick.' A little voice in
my head whispers.
Just as quickly I frown, looking at the pizza with disgust. Immediately I dump
it into the trashcan I'm not hungry anymore. Instead I vouche for the sweet
release of gin & weed.
"Time to get shit faced..." I tell myself as I head for my moms room.
It's not a habit I indulge in often, really, it isn't. However occasionally I
like to get plastered enough to forget my own name.
I take a bag of weed, her pipe, & the Gin from the top shelf of her closet. I
should really consider getting my own supply, but I don't do this often enough
for it to matter.
Once I'm safely in my room & on my bed I crack open the Gin & take 5 big gulps.
It taste like shit & I would rather spit it out, but it does it's job well.
I take some weed from the bag & place it in the pipe, grabbing my lighter, I
put the pipe up to my lips & light. Breathing in my sweet release. Gin & weed.
My favorite mix.
The high hits me a few inhales later, the gin also doing it's job. My brain
slows down. It feels as if my bodies vibrating. I turn on Terrence & Philip,
giggling like a maniac at every seemingly funny thing.
An episode later I realize something else has hit me: the munchies. I head
downstairs & open the fridge. I see the four things of Yoplait yogurt, grab it,
get a spoon, & head back upstairs.
I'm halfway up the stairs when I hear a knock on the door. Shit it's the cops.
I try to look as sober as possible when I open the door.
It's not the cops though, it's Craig. That can be just as bad though. The high
me less afraid, but at the same time I feel panic.
'What the hell is he doing here?'
"What I can't see my favorite little punching bag?",Oh shit, guess I said that
out loud, " I smell weed. You getting high?" Craig says as he barges right into
my house.
"No, really come right the fuck in." I mumble
"What was that tubby? "
"Nothing, nothing. So why are you here?"
"Didn't catch you at school. Was gonna beat your ass, but might as well get
high then do that. " the asshole is smirking
At any other time I would've offered him whatever he wanted just so he'd leave
me alone. Right now however, my mouth was moving faster than I could comprehend
danger.
"Fuck off."
"Excuse me?" He was angry, good.
"I said fuck off, it's my weed, it's my alcohol, & this is my house god da–!"
Suddenly my back collides with the wall & I'm held inches off the ground by my
shirt collar. Craig's furious blue orbs glaring at me.
"You must be high out of your god damn mind!" Each word is punctuated with a
slam into the wall.
My mouth fills with saliva & I spit right in his fucking eye. Part of me knows
I'll regret it, but the other half doesn't care. The shock on his face is
hysterical.
"You're going to regret that," he seethes, hands wrapping around my throat," I
promise. "
I struggle, trying to remove his hands so I can breathe in that precious
treasure called oxygen.
'Fuck he's really gonna kill me...'
My visions going fuzzy & I feel myself going lax. I close my eyes waiting for
deaths greeting...
Chapter End Notes
     Author's Note: Ok boring, fast paced, but I updated right? I'm very
     glad that you all appear to like chapter one! Hope two was
     satisfying!
***** Chapter 3: *****
"H..? ..opsi..ns? ..ke up."
Someone's speaking, but I'm only hearing bits & pieces. My fingers lightly
touch the carpet while I try figuring out exactly where I am.
'Wait, carpet?' My eyes slowly blink open. Once. Twice. Three times.
"Poopsikins you're awake!"
"Ugh...."
It takes all the energy I can muster just to sit up. I skim my body & find
every inch of visible skin covered in bruises & scrapes. There's a chunk of
glass in the middle of my right arm. Blood's sluggishly oozing out of the
wound.
I try to process the chaos that my living room was as everything comes back to
me.
I remember spitting on Craig, him choking me, then right as I began to pass out
he let me breath. I guess I must've kicked the table moms vase was on. It
explains the glass.
I got cut when he tossed me to the ground & began to beat me. After awhile I
must've passed out.
***
Beep. Beep. Be–
"Fuck."
I hiss out. It's damn near impossible for me to move let alone get out of bed.
The bruises had gotten bigger over night, more tender to. Craig really did a
number on me this time.
Moms already gone to "work." Normally she wouldn't start so early, but my guess
is she's getting close to a client again. It's beyond me why anyone would
willing date a prostitute.
I drag myself out of bed, put my gray hoodie on & head for the bus stop. I wore
my clothes to bed & frankly it just hurt to much to bother changing.
Stan & his pack were already there. They were discussing some type of party
happening on Saturday.
Awkwardly I stand a good five feet away from them, eyes downcast like usual. I
could feel their eyes burning into me as their voices turned into inaudible
whispers.
I heard the snow crunch as one of them walked towards me. I shrank into myself
when their shadow blocked what little sunlight there was.
Upon glancing up I realized it was Kyle. He was scanning my body with
emotionless eyes & I couldn't help, but feel more self-conscious. Maybe I
should've changed clothing after all.
Just as Kyle began to speak the bus pulled up & cut him off. He awkwardly stood
in front of me for a moment, eyes roaming over my body. Shaking his head he
retreated to the bus.
I hop on the bus after him & rush to the back as fast as my stubby legs will
carry me. Awkwardly bumping into people's seats, followed by their snickers &
sneers. I plop down into a window seat in the very back, alone like always.
Now that I wasn't so focused on Kyle's staring I had time to feel just how much
damage Craig had done. Yesterday I had painkillers to deal with the throbbing
pain. Now I don't.
I use my phone's camera as a mirror. The bruises are still raw & tender,
blackening my left eye, leaving finger shaped prints on what was showing of my
neck, & even some light ones on parts of my hands.
"No wonder they were staring....I'm a wreck."
***
Ugh math. The subject I hate the most, besides gym of course. They're both a
pain in the ass, but I guess if it's mental pain vs physical pain I'd go for
the first.
I fidget in my seat, grumbling. I'm really starting to hurt, not to mention
they're starting to swell.
"If this keeps up I'll be a blueberry by the end of the day..."
"Well you can go be a blueberry in the principal's office if you keep
disrupting my class Mr.Cartman."
My shoulders hunch & my face flushes in embarrassment as my classmates begin to
snicker.
"Sorry Ms. Tila... "
"Hmph"
'Stupid teachers always gotta get on my case'
I brood for the rest of the lesson. As soon as the bell rings I'm out the door.
I'm practically running to my second class when I crash into something & hit
the floor.
"Fucking bitch! What the he–"
I cut myself off as soon as I meet Craig's angry gaze. Gulping as I see his
coffee covered, previously white, shirt.
"I m-mean....hi Craig."
"One reason why I shouldn't rearrange your face."
"I–um I-i didn't–I wasn't–I didn't s-see you."
My voice takes on a high pitched, squeaky quality while I think up an excuse.
"Shut. Up."
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Notes
     Authors Note: I feel like a complete asshole for being on hiatus for
     so long. I'll try to keep updates going, but no promises.
     Disclaimer: I do not own South Park
I lay in bed, face wet with tears. My body, fuck it hurts so bad. Why'd Craig
have to hit so hard? Maybe had I not been a devil child, karma would've been
more forgiving. I look back on my childhood memories in disgust.
All the times I fucked with Butters, or sat on my ass eating Cheesypoofs; I'd
been such an arrogant asshole and now I'm reaping what I sow.
But... at least back then I had a fucking spine. Sure I was cold and often
times unfeeling, but I still had a spine god damn it. Fuck, I had a life... I
had friends. Am I really more pathetic now, than I was back then?
"Hehe yep" I scoff
There I go again, confirming my own insecurities. I'm a fucking crazy, mean
spirited prick and everyone knows it, well knew it.
Now I'm just a crazy, self-loathing bitch.
I shudder in surprise when I hear three
loud knocks on the door.
"Poopsikins, dinners ready~"
"Not hungry mom!"
"O-oh... Ok honey, that's alright. "
She's hurt, dinner was the only real time we got together. But I don't care,
I'm too fat for dinner. I don't deserve it.
With that thought in mind I fall into a deep, disturbed sleep.
***
I'm running through the forest, sweat dripping down my forehead. I'm being
chased! I'm being fucking chased by something, no someone, and they're fucking
catching up!
"Shit. Fuck. Shit! Leave me alone!" I cry out
I look back and see the glint of a knife, he's hooded, I can't see his face.
But the knife, the knife I see.
God damn it move faster. Oh god I can practically feel his breath on my neck.
No, it is on my neck!
Just like that I feel myself being snatched up and scream. He let's go of me
just long enough to shove me into the snow and climb on top of my chest.
"You fuc–"
His hands, they're on my throat. He's strangling me; I can't breath. I grab his
wrists, trying to pull him off to no avail.
I can feel my face reddening with lack of oxygen. I claw at him more
desperately, heart pounding in my ears. But it's too late, I can feel my
awareness slipping, my pulse slowing as darkness consumes me.
***
"Jesus fuck... Just a dream." I breath raggedly
7 am. I'll be late for skewl even if I rush, may as well ditch. I hate skewl
anyways, hate seeing Kyle, Craig,.. everyone. They all make me feel so stupid,
wait not feel, I AM stupid. End of story.
I got dressed and headed for Starks Pond. I wasn't exactly sure why I headed
there. Clarity? Relief? Who knows.
I dusted some snow off a log and sat down. Normally this isn't necessary, but
it snowed pretty hard last night. It wasn't comfortable, but it'd do, for now
anyways.
I didn't find clarity or relief, but I knew how I could. I knew what'd bring me
instant gratification, my secret weapon.
Reaching into my pocket I feel for the small, white container I knew would be
there. It's contents would bring me just a moment of bittersweet bliss.
Just as I'm about to open it I hear a crunch, causing me to freeze up. Who the
hell is here? No one's ever here this early. I shove the square container back
into my pocket and turn around to be confronted with the giant that is Jewboy.
"Hey, Cartman, what're you doing out here? "
"None of your god damn business, could ask you the same thing. " I mumble,
temper flaring
Kyle sits next to me, irritation clear. Bastard. Why can't he just leavs me
alone. Why now of all times?
"Listen," Kyle started," lately I've noticed some changes. You've been–"
"Oh look at the Jew, getting in everyone's business! Nosy as ever Kyle!" I
stand," If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were a girl with all the
bitching you do, fucking ki–Ow what the fuck Kyle?!"
He hit me, be actually fucking hit me. I send him a teary-eyed glare, rubbing
my cheek.
"Listen here, Cartman, " he's shaking with anger, fist balled, " you deserved
that. The second anyone's kind to you, you lash out. I'm sick of it. "
I look down, he continues his rant.
"Where do you get the balls to talk down to me? I'm a girl, huh? " he grabs my
chin, forcing me to make eye contact.
"Then what are you? A boy? A man? Neither. "
"I'm–" he cuts me off
"A fat, unintimidating loser. I don't know why I came, but I regret it. "
He begins walking away, I don't know why, but I can't let him go. I grab his
sleeve.
"Kyle wait.. " I look up at him, jesus he's tall, I must look like a child
compared to him.
"What?"
"I... um.. " oh god, what do I say?, " I.. never mind. Just fuck off! "
I turn around and quickly run into the woods. That was fucking humiliating. I
should've just let him go, now I look like a jackass.
Fuck you Kyle, always gotta make me clam up. You're just as bad as Craig.
It begins to snow. I turn back, having been running around the woods aimlessly
for probably 30 minutes now.
But I freeze, there's the distinct sound of a twig snapping. My dream comes
back to me and I shake, ready to run. I shriek and jump back when a doe shoots
across my path.
"Jesus fuck...You fucking asshole, I'll make fucking jerky out of you! " it's
long gone, but the threat still stands.
Craig's POV
The fucker doesn't even realize he's being watched, but maybe he would've if
that dumb doe hadn't gotten spooked.
He stumbles back towards Starks Pond. Must be heading home. His mother would be
gone by now. Sluts gotta get bills paid right?
I chuckle, a wicked grin spreading across my normally emotionless face.
"Perfect."
End Notes
     Author's Note: Surprise, I'm still in a South Park mood, although I
     have been editing Save Me (Inuyasha fanfic). This story's been
     bugging me for awhile so I finally decided to at least start it. So
     what do you think? Should I continue or has everyone officially given
     up on Cartman based fanfics? The characters are about 16 or 17 in
     this.
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