Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/289120.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural_RPF
  Relationship:
      Jensen_Ackles/Jared_Padalecki
  Character:
      Jared_Padalecki, Jensen_Ackles, Sandra_McCoy, Tom_Welling, Chad_Michael
      Murray, Danneel_Harris
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Rape/Non-con_References, Angst,
      Schmoop, Muteness, Hurt/Comfort
  Stats:
      Published: 2009-02-15 Chapters: 7/7 Words: 28890
****** So Few Words ******
by anyothergirl415
Summary
     Jensen would just like to let his parents know that moving at the
     beginning of his senior year is so not cool. But it’s forgivable if
     he can get the oh so pretty Jared Padalecki to just say something to
     him.
***** Chapter 1 *****
It becomes quite obvious to him upon scanning the high school parking lot that
his parents were never 18 and in this position. No matter how often his mother
sympathized with, “Oh honey I know it’s rough.” She didn’t know anything. She
had this idea in her head that she had Jensen all figured out, that he would
make friends easily and Jensen loved her too much to point out he never really
had friends in the first place. It wasn’t like all his quirks and oddities were
going to vanish suddenly and leave him Mr. Popular.
Jensen was definitely not going to join any sports team or nerd club. Really,
he would probably be better off without making any friends; it wasn’t as if he
planned on staying in this hell hole. He had been dragged to against his will
just because his parents saw this as a great opportunity for everyone to get a
fresh start.
And alright, maybe Jensen was getting into a little too much trouble before
after all there was that one time with the cop. Really, though, that spray can
was not his. And Jensen had been told if he slipped up once more he would be
expelled. But it wasn’t really his fault that trash can caught fire. It’s not
like he planned for it to happen.
Regardless of all that, Jensen really wished his parents had caved on the whole
home schooling thing when they’d decided to move. There were programs online
where they even provided you a free lap top with your courses. Come on, a free
lap top? What more could you ask for?
“Watch it queer,” the grunted sneer from a thick jock brought Jensen harshly
out of his thoughts. His backpack must have brushed the boy and, upon eyeing
him, Jensen thought it best to keep his mouth shut and continue up the steps
towards the large blue front doors.
He’d never seen so many stereotypes in the flesh before. The hallway was full
of football jocks wearing letter jackets surrounded by tiny girls in short
skirted cheerleader outfits. Blondes. Lots of blondes. Giggling and snapping
bubble gum while dangling off the thick arms of said jocks who grunted like
gorillas.  
Up ahead and to the right his eyes land on what was obviously the geeks, thick
glasses and pale boys with scattered freckles. Standing around quoting Buffy or
debating mistakes made between the original Star Wars series and the new ones.
And although Jensen had his own share of opinions on the matter he knew better
then to join in that discussion. 
And to the left: the emos. Or were they goths? Jensen had never bothered
learning the difference between the two. Whatever they were they came with
dark, tight clothes, color smeared hair and various facial piercings. None were
smiling, they were just leaning together whispering things or writing on their
jeans and shoes and backpacks. Jensen let out a snort at a few painting their
nails black and received some death glares in return. He couldn’t help rolling
his eyes.
Jensen reached the Principal’s office next, which was really a relief because
he wasn’t sure how much more he could take. He already felt like he’d stepped
into an after school special. This has to be the first time he’s ever been
relieved to see this room.
“Hello there!” The bright cheery voice of the secretary behind the front desk
temporarily has Jensen rethinking his relief. It should be illegal to be so
peppy this early on a Monday morning. “What can I do for you today?”
“Um, I’m new,” Jensen offers up, shifting the backpack on his shoulder and
trying to not look suspicious. Old habits die hard he supposes.
“Oh okay! So you’ll be needing your schedule and books of course,” the woman
continues, typing on her keyboard for a few minutes, “What’s your name?”
Jensen can’t help wondering what she was typing previously while he mumbles his
name and shifts a hand over the back of his neck. A bell rings and inwardly he
groans. Being late was easily excused but he really didn’t want to do the whole
awkward new student coming in late deal.
“Jensen huh?” a short brunette steps up beside him, smirk on her face as she
snaps her gum. “That’s pretty weird.”
“Yeah? Never heard that before,” Jensen doesn’t bother disguising the sarcasm.
The girl laughs, “Alright that was called for. I’m Sandy so relatively normal
name provides no witty comebacks for you unless you can come up with a new one
about all the places sand can get stuck in a body.”
He eyes her for a moment before smirking, yeah he could probably come up with
some remark about it but the girl seems half decent so he doesn’t.
“Okay Mr. Ackles here you go,” the secretary hands him a folder with a
schedule. “You can get your books from your teachers.” Jensen nods his thanks
and opens his backpack to slip in the folder while the lady turns to Sandy.
“Miss. McCoy, late again I see.”
The brunette offers an apologetic smile and big puppy dog eyes, “Yes… it’s just
that my mom had to work early and my alarm didn’t go off and-“
“Save it, this is the last time,” the secretary rips a piece of paper from a
notepad and hands it to her.
Jensen follows Sandy out of the office and chuckles as they both head down the
hall, “Nice excuse.”
“Well I try,” Sandy laughs. “What room are you heading to?”
“Um,” Jensen glances at the paper clutched in his fingers. “143 A?”
“Oh that’s by mine, I’ll walk with you,” Sandy casually slips her arm through
his and leads him off down the hall. Jensen is left reconsidering his “no
friends” statement and not quite believing he might actually have made one.
*
Jensen manages to make it through the first half of the day with only mild
embarrassment. The teachers of both his classes make him stand in the front to
be introduced but neither asked anything too out of the ordinary. He’d even
succeeded in locating his locker after first block which made his backpack much
more manageable.
At lunch his eyes scan the quad, though he’s not entirely sure what he’s
looking for and they land on Sandy. Which is simply because she’s waving at him
or more precisely waving him over and he checks over both shoulders before
heading her direction.
“Hey! You can sit with us, I know its way awkward to be new,”Sandy moves over
on the bench and Jensen nods his thanks as he slides into the seat. “Guys this
is Jensen. Jensen meetChad, Tom, Danneel and Jared.”
“Hey,” Jensen glances at each of them, making an effort to place the names with
the faces in case he has actually found a group to fit in with. Instantly it
occurs to him that these people don’t seem like what might be his typical group
of friends. Chad is too blonde. Tom looks like he could be one of those
football jocks and Danneel is outrageously gorgeous and could be a model for
all he knew.
Jensen only had a few friends at his old school. Two had been in juvenile hall
once already. The other was the real owner of the spray can and very quick to
point a finger if it got him out of trouble. All were dark and moody and not
these kids.
Then his eyes land on Jared.
It’s not necessarily the floppy brown hair, chiseled jaw line and smooth tan
skin that give him pause though that doesn’t hurt. No, it’s more the look in
those blue green eyes. There’s something dark hidden just beneath the surface
that causes a faint shiver to run up Jensen’s spine as their eyes lock.
If he believed more in fate and things of that sort Jensen would have to give
longer thought to the way time seemed to freeze around them. Instead he merely
licks his lips and looks down at his backpack to break the moment, not sure why
there is a slight shake to his fingers.
“So where’d you come from?” Chad asks around a large bite of cheeseburger and
several fries.
Jensen pulls out a sandwich from his backpack and a soda, “Dallas.” He answers
and really doesn’t want to play this getting to know everyone game. Though he
supposes it’s nice of them to try.
“Chad’s pretty much the missing evolutionary link so you’ll have to excuse
him,” Sandy explains, joining in the laughter with Tom and Danneel while Chad
tosses a piece of ketchup covered pickle at her causing her to squeal.
Jensen smirks though his eyes stray to Jared who, he can’t help noticing,
doesn’t even smile at the joke. Defensive maybe? That is assuming Jared swings
that way and then swings that way for Chad.
Giving the blonde a quick once over Jensen quickly decides Chad is just
feminine enough to most likely not swing that way. So maybe it’s an unrequited
thing.
“Who’d you have this morning?” Danneel asks, taking a careful bite of microwave
pasta.
“Um, Colgate and Hettinger,” he answers after checking the paper of his
classes. This answer sparks up a long debate over which teachers are easy to
manipulate, which ones Jensen should avoid at all costs and which ones would
probably screw a student if they could get away with it. That part is brought
up by Chad and Jensen’s only a little bit disturbed at the level of thought
he’s put into it.
“We all have our favorites,” Tom explains. “I think that’s mostly because of
their weaknesses. Personally, I’d steer clear ofAdams if you want to survive
here.”
“Adams is a push over,” Sandy laughs, sipping her Diet Coke.
“Only ‘cause you let him look down your shirt slut,”Chad smirks finishing the
remains of his fries in one large mouthful.
“What about you?” Jensen asks, looking directly at Jared because really, the
boy hasn’t said a word the entire time he’s sat here. If it wasn’t for his eyes
shifting from one person to the other as they spoke Jensen would wonder if he’d
even heard a thing.
It’s quiet at the table for a moment or two before Sandy is laughing and
patting Jared’s shoulder, “Oh every teacher likes Jared and I imagine he likes
most of them. He’s the all star student.”
And before Jensen can ask any more questions Jared rises from the table,
Danneel andChad in tow, saying goodbye and heading off.
The bell rings and Jensen is left watching the tall boy walk off between his
two friends. There’s a soft sway to his hips and Jensen finds his pulse picking
up just a fraction. He feels remotely silly.
After all, he is 18 now and his days of insta-crushes should have faded with
middle school. And if he spends the rest of the day trying to interpret that
intense look in Jared’s eyes it’s only because the boy kind of freaked him out.
*
Jensen can’t help the sigh of relief that escapes his lips as he makes his way
across the parking lot, weaving through shiny sports cars and beat up pickup
trucks. To say the rest of his day went as smooth as the beginning half would
be an extreme understatement.
His third block teacher had required him to stand in front of the class for a
full ten minutes listing off his favorite book, author, time period, movie,
actor, band, moment with his family, etc. to a room full of students who stared
at him with extreme disinterest. It would, of course, be the class lined with
football jocks and their barbie girlfriends.
He’d been forced to put up with cracks about ‘wanna be punk rockers’ and
‘momma’s pretty boys’ for the rest of the block. It didn’t seem to matter how
low he sank in his seat, the teacher was constantly making remarks like, “I’m
not sure how they did it in your old school Mr. Ackles…” and “Mr. Ackles, what
can you tell us about English literature in the early 19th century?”
The only perk of the last block of the day was Jared. Jensen had walked into
the room and seen the boy sitting in the far back corner, eyes glued out the
window staring at something Jensen couldn’t quite spot. He’d taken the seat
next to him, offered up a, “hey” just before the teacher came in.
He’d received a nod in return of which he was grateful for. He might have felt
slightly stupid otherwise, but after his previous class he had an intense
desire for a more pleasurable company and Jared was definitely pleasant to look
at. This teacher barely mentioned him, just in passing as he checked the
attendance. Jensen was relieved to not be addressed for the rest of the class.
Now, as he made his way down the sidewalk towards his house, he couldn’t wait
to kick off his shoes and explain to his parents the finer points of the home
school program once more. Jared may be nice to look at but he wasn’t a worthy
trade when it came to a class full of assholes and teachers too intent on his
well being.
Speaking of Jared, there he was, walking ahead by himself in a casual stride
that spoke of great familiarity. And here they both were, walking home in the
same direction, Jensen speeds up his steps just a little to fall in beside him,
“Hey how’s it going?”
Jared’s steps falter slightly, his head turning just a fraction of an inch to
look at Jensen before he resumed his normal pace.
They are silent for a few minutes while Jensen tries to figure out why Jared
isn’t answering him. Had he done something? Said something? Did he smell bad?
Resisting the urge to sniff his armpits, Jensen clears his throat and shifts
the backpack on his shoulder, “So um… look was it something I said?”
Jared only glances at him again before give a slight negative shake of his
head.
“Okay…” Jensen trails off, biting his lip. He wasn’t really sure what to do at
this point. Obviously this was some sort of… thing that Jared did. Was he mute
or whatever? Shit, Jensen would feel awful if he was. Why didn’t Sandy tell him
that? “Are you mute or something?” He blurts out; figuring it may be
insensitive but at least he could mutter an apology and pretend he lived down
the street up ahead to avoid the awkward tension.
A faint smile, so brief Jensen mildly thinks he’s imagining it, crosses Jared’s
face as he gives another negative shake of his head.
“Alright,” Jensen nods as if he’s been given a reasonable answer, as if he’s
not more confused than before. So he hasn’t made an ass out of himself in front
of this greek god wanna be and that’s good but he’s still not speaking which is
not good. “Well that’s pretty weird I guess,” Jensen nods, rubbing the back of
his neck.
Silence reigns as they cross the street and Jensen considers his escape plan
for a few moments. Then, with an almost invisible shrug of his shoulders,
decides to go along with this… whatever it is. He makes a mental note to ask
Sandy about it tomorrow.
“So Chemistry wasn’t too bad,” Jensen begins, glancing at Jared out of the
corner of his eye and catching Jared’s brief flash of surprise. “Mr. Butler
seems a lot better than my last teacher. God, she was such a fuckin’ idiot. I
swear I knew more about Chemistry then her and I thought it was a math thing.”
Jared doesn’t respond, which at this point is no longer a surprise, but his
shoulders angle just a little and Jensen knows he’s listening. Maybe even
amused.
So he continues, “But man before that I had English Lit and god it was hell. I
think every member of the football team and cheerleading squad is in that
class. And my teacher? Mrs. Wilson or whatever wouldn’t stop talking to me. I
was really considering getting up and walking out.”
Another tilt of broad shoulders as Jared adjusts his backpack and glances
toward him.
“I don’t know how you guys handle this block shit,” Jensen goes on. “I mean...
four classes a day are cool but for like two hours a piece? Way too long. The
only good thing is not having them tomorrow. We had eight classes a day at my
old school, which was probably pretty obvious since I was just complaining
about-”
Jensen stops talking abruptly, halting because Jared has stopped in front of a
large house with blue siding and white shudders. He’s looking at Jensen
intensely, like maybe he’s attempting telepathic conversation and Jensen
sincerely hopes that’s not the case.
“You um… live here?” Jensen gestures to the house and Jared nods in his barely
noticeable way. “Okay well… thanks for walking with me. I’ll uh… see you
tomorrow I guess.”
Jared turns and walks up the path, disappearing inside without a backward
glance at him. Jensen has to kick start his brain to get himself moving again,
feeling mostly stupid for standing around and watching.
The rest of the walk home he tries to put the pieces of this puzzle together.
There’s definitely something wrong with Jared. Or if not wrong, definitely
weird. Off.
Whatever it was it succeeded in keeping Jensen’s mind occupied for the rest of
the night. He didn’t even remember his idea to once more mention home schooling
to his parents when they questioned him about school that day.
*
The following morning Jensen finds himself once more considering whether
Jared’s attempting telepathic communication as he approaches the large blue
house at almost the precise moment the taller man is walking down the path.
They both stop and look at each other oddly, Jared’s eyebrow arch just an inch
or so up.
“I’m not stalking you,” Jensen finds himself defending, though no words were
spoken. He continues to walk and Jared falls into step with him. “Maybe you’re
stalking me. I mean, for all I know you were just waiting for me to walk by.”
Jared shifts his backpack and doesn’t look at him.
“Okay maybe not. Just a weird coincidence,” he admits, wondering if he can
start to understand Jared just by watching his very subtle movements. “God I
hate this.” Jensen finds himself suddenly confessing. Jared’s eyes slide to
him, “Not you. I mean, this being a new student thing. I’ve never had to deal
with it before and it’s not like I hold any real sentimental attachments to
Dallas but seriously. Starting at a new school after the years begun and it
being my senior year is just too much. Does that make any sense?”
Jared gives one head nod, his eyes tracing the path ahead of them.
“Are you a senior?” Jensen watches the slight head tilt and licks his lips,
“Have you been living here all your life?” Another nod and Jensen is suddenly
fascinated by his hair sliding across his eyes. Jared reaches up to brush it
back and Jensen’s heart speeds up. “So you’ve been friends with Sandy and them
all this time?”
When Jared nods this time Jensen is relieved. If they’ve been friends all their
livesSandy will most likely have an explanation to Jared’s oddity.
They walk the rest of the distance to the school in a not quite comfortable
silence. About halfway through the parking lot Sandy’s call has Jared pausing
and Jensen hesitating, not sure if he should wait to greet the girl as well or
just disappear inside.
“Hey guys! Did you walk here together?” Sandy looks quizzically at them and, at
Jared’s brief nod, smiles brightly. “That’s great! Hey Jay I totally killed my
printer last night. Since you’ll be in the computer lap this morning can you
print these for me?” Sandy holds out a USB drive, offering it but not forcing
the other to accept.
Jared does though, pocketing the device and briefly touching her arm. He gives
another short nod to Jensen before heading the rest of the way into the school
building. “Yeah, see ya,” Jensen finds himself muttering to the disappearing
figure, despite feeling slightly moronic. Once Jared’s disappeared inside he
rounds on the brunette. “So… what’s his deal?”
“Jared?” Sandy’s smile fades a little as they begin a slow walk inside. “The no
talking thing?”
“No, I want to know how he got so tall,” Jensen eyes her skeptically.
Sandy lets out a soft sigh, “Yeah I know, of course the no talking thing. I
don’t really know how to explain it. I mean, he hasn’t always been this way.”
“No?” This thought it is mildly comforting. After all, if Jared talked before
there’s nothing to say he won’t talk again. “When did it start?”
“A few years ago. At the beginning of our sophomore year actually. He had gone
away with his family over the summer and when he came back he was just… silent.
Didn’t say a word to anyone. Ever. Not even his parents. They tried to send him
to a therapist and everything but it never worked. Seriously, they threatened
all his freedom. He was even grounded and wasn’t allowed to get his license
because of it. They still haven’t let up on the license bit, but he’s not
grounded to the house anymore.”
“God. What happened?” Jensen asks though he figures he can guess her response
and is right when she answers.
“No idea. No one knows. He won’t even write about it. The only time he writes
is for classes. It’s a pity too. He was a basketball player before and probably
could have gotten far with it but after that summer he just stopped. Everyone
thinks he’s had some sort of mental breakdown…”
“Wow that’s… that’s really sad,” Jensen worries his lower lip between his
teeth, spinning the combination of his locker. “So you guys are pretty much all
he has?”
“Yeah, his family really doesn’t get it. They think he’s going through some
rebel phase but I know Jared and that’s not it. He… he’s a great guy you know?
Something happened. Something made him this way,” Sandy leans against the
locker to Jensen’s right for a moment before pushing off and looking seriously
at him. “Jensen…”
“What?” Jensen shuts his locker and they begin to walk down the hall. He lets
her lead and they pause at a locker not far from his.
Sandy spins the lock open, gathering her things before turning to continue her
steady gaze, “You have to be careful with him.”
“What?” Jensen’s eyebrows raise. “What are you talking about? I mean, we’re not
anything. Who says we’re going to be something?”
“Yeah, whatever, so we’ll just pretend you aren’t totally crushing on
him,”Sandy rolls her eyes at the slightly guilty expression Jensen can’t quite
hide.
“Am I that obvious?”
“I’m just way good at reading people,” Sandy pats his arm and the warning bell
echoes through the hall. “All I mean is… you could be good for Jared. None of
us are doing him any good anymore. Just be careful. No one knows what happened
and it’s got to be intense to make him this way.”
Jensen watches her walk down the hall before turning towards his own classroom.
He only half pays attention through first and second block, Sandy’s words
circling around his mind on repeat.
*
Lunch is not too different from yesterday. Only this time there’s no
introductions and Jared doesn’t stare at him with such intense eyes. He does,
however, give a short nod of acknowledgement and Jensen thinks it may be
Jared’s way of saying he’s been accepted into this little group.
Everyone else seems to think so as Sandy is quick to make room for him and
Danneel compliments his t-shirt, which reads ‘What we’ve got here is a failure
to communicate.’ Chad starts off about ‘some fuckin’ cheerhoe’ who ‘fuckin’
told the teacher he was smokin’ a joint out back.’ It turned out to be the
truth but the teacher couldn’t prove it so he’s just got detention for ditching
class.
Tom, Sandy and Danneel all start in on how Chad has detention almost every day
so there’s no point in complaining about it. Jensen chuckles but his eyes can’t
seem to stop wandering in Jared’s direction.
He’s not smiling really but there’s a hint of something like amusement in his
eyes. It’s just barely there; fighting its way out against whatever it is
that’s haunting those orbs. When he meets Jensen’s steady gaze the amusement
fades into the background and Jensen finds himself sucking in a surprised
breath. Something intense flashes between them quickly before Jared is looking
down at his food.
Jensen forces himself to eye his own sandwich and tune back into conversation,
offering his own opinion on detentions and smoking joints behind the school
building.
*
After school Jensen tries to not look for Jared. After all he really shouldn’t
be playing up this crush thing. Not that he’s admitting he has one; it’s really
just him appreciating the view. Jared isn’t exactly in a stable position for a
relationship anyway, that much is clearly obvious.
As it turns out he doesn’t really have to look for Jared because there he is,
standing at the bottom of the steps and looking out at the parking lot. Jensen
walks up beside him, clearing his throat and smiling when Jared glances down at
him. “Well we do both live the same direction. No reason we shouldn’t walk
together,” Jensen offers.
Jared gives a nod and they set off.
“Did you have a good day?” Jensen asks, wondering if the awkward tension of
asking a question he knows won’t be answered will ever go away.
Jared nods once more then looks at him.
“Yeah, mine was alright,” Jensen finds himself answering, only briefly
considers how odd that is. “The novelty of a new student must have worn off,
none of the teachers bothered introducing me thank god. Not sure I could have
handled another day of that.”
They cross the street in a silence that holds a new level of companionship to
it. Like maybe Jared doesn’t mind Jensen rambling on about not so important
things and if that’s the case Jensen thinks it’s pretty cool. He’s never really
had anyone to ramble to.
“So I have this little sister right? God she like… came from the mold of
perfection I swear. Last night she couldn’t stop talking about all her new
friends and I have no idea how someone can just go into a new place and click
with people like that,” Jensen shakes his head. “Got siblings?” Something about
Jared’s nod has him making assumptions that turn out to be correct. “Sister and
brother? Yeah… me too…”
Jensen goes on to describe just how much he’s not like his brother or sister.
How he holds secret theories that he, or at least one of them, is adopted. And
though he loves his mom and dad deeply they don’t get him and probably never
will. Jared gives him a look and Jensen just knows Jared understands what he’s
saying. Maybe even feels the same.
He can’t quite explain it but there’s something between them. Some connection
he can’t name without risk of sounding like a character straight out of a
cheesy chick flick.
They reach Jared’s house and Jensen hesitates, biting his lip as Sandy’s words
from early once more float to the front of his mind. “Well, I’ll be walking
this way in the morning so if you want to, you know, walk together or
whatever…”
Jared watches him for several long moments and Jensen can’t quite fight off the
flush rising up to his cheeks. A small breath of relief falls from his lips as
Jared finally gives a brief nod.
At this he turns and walks up towards his house, once again not looking back as
he silently opens the door and heads inside.
“See you…” Jensen whispers into the space previously belonging to Jared before
turning and walking the rest of the way to his own home, not quite giving name
to the faint fluttering in his stomach. Or the eagerness for tomorrow morning.
Wouldn’t his parents be shocked if he admitted he was actually looking forward
to the next school day?
***** Chapter 2 *****
Over the next week Jensen finds it quite easy to fall into a steady groove that
he’s never been familiar with before. Each day on the way to and from school he
rambles to Jared about various thoughts and opinions.
Sometimes it’s personal, like on Thursday morning when Mackenzie spends almost
an hour in the bathroom and ignores his pounding on the door when all Jensen
wanted was his toothbrush. Other times it’s merely observational, like Friday
afternoon when he muses aloud whether colored M&Ms really have more food dye
then brown ones.
He spends all weekend mentally kicking himself on how stupid the question of
M&M food dye is. But at least he knows Jared is paying attention because on
Monday morning Jared hands him an article printed from the internet that states
all M&Ms have the same food dye amount.
This makes Jensen smirk and he folds the paper in fourths, tucking it inside a
notebook. So maybe he will swoon over the sentimental thought later… when he
can pretend Jared is just as interested in him as he is in Jared.
On Wednesday Jensen is heading to the quad for lunch when a hand tugs him hard
into an empty classroom. He stumbles, catching his foot on the leg of a desk
and scowls when he looks up to see Sandy, “God, what the fuck was that for?”
Sandy just rolls her eyes and holds out a pad of paper, “Look at this.”
Jensen takes the notebook. He expects some great big secret to be written
across the faint blue lines but it’s only history notes, neatly bullet pointed
and organized by dates, “Um… okay?”
A large huff leaves Sandy’s lips and Jensen is mildly impressed a girl so small
can make such a noise. “That’s Jared’s notebook.” She says as if this should
clear things up.
Jensen definitely doesn’t get it, “Why did you steal Jared’s history notes?”
“To show you!” Sandy jerks forward, pointing at the left margin where a variety
of squiggly doodles cover the blue lines.
“To show me Jared’s fantastic artwork?” And really Jensen can’t help the
sarcasm. Sandy has obviously lost her mind.
“God you’re an idiot! I’m not saying they’re fantastic, I’m just saying that
they’re there!” Sandy drawls out the last word, like this should make it all
obvious. It doesn’t, which is clear by the way Jensen arches his eyebrows, and
she rolls her eyes painfully hard before spelling it out. “Remember I told you
Jared doesn’t write anything except for classes? Well that includes doodles!”
“He doesn’t even doodle?” Jensen only feels mildly silly for saying the word
doodle in such a serious tone of voice.
“No! But now he is! He’s changing! You’re actually helping him!” Sandy jumps
excitedly forward, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug.
“Whoa, okay down,” Jensen laughs, setting the girl down and considering the
notebook in his hand once more. There is no real pattern or method to the
scribbles, but he knows they are more than just the marks someone might make to
revive a dying writing utensil.
So Jared is doodling and he might be the reason behind it. And okay, it’s not
like Jared’s confessing to never ending love or anything but Jensen can’t fight
off the warm glow that builds in him.
*
On Friday afternoon while walking home from school in a companionable silence,
Jensen finally gets up the nerve to ask, “Wanna hang out this weekend?”
The question obviously comes as a surprise to Jared, who stops so suddenly
Jensen has to turn around to ensure he doesn’t miss the response. Jared looks
skeptical so Jensen decides to offer up more information.
“I thought we could watch a movie. I mentioned Fight Club a couple of days ago
and it didn’t seem like you’d seen it so yeah…” Jensen nervously stuffs one
hand in his pocket, tucking the other under his backpack strap. He stares at
the sidewalk for a few minutes.
When Jensen looks back up Jared’s still watching him. Slowly he nods once then
falls back into his easy walking pace beside him.
Jensen’s heart flutters excitedly, “Great!” He clears his throat in attempt to
bite back the giddy waver to the words. “So I live like three blocks down on
the right side of the street.
     6120 28th Avenue
. It’s lime green, you really can’t miss it. Does 3:00 work?”
Jared nods, that barely faint smile tugging just on the corners of his lips for
a moment before sliding away.
When they reach Jared’s house Jensen stops likes usual. This time, however,
Jared reaches out and touches his arm in a ghost whisper before turning to head
inside. He still doesn’t look back before disappearing behind the heavy oak
door but Jensen doesn’t mind so much. He’s far too preoccupied with the
tingling spot on his arm that Jared’s fingers had so briefly rested on.
*
Jensen is outrageously nervous the next day and spends the first half of the
morning worrying Jared will call and cancel. Until it occurs to him that a)
Jared doesn’t have his number and b) how the hell is a guy who refuses to talk
going make a phone call?
So Jensen settles with being glad Jared can’t possibly cancel, though he could
just not show up. This thought makes Jensen vaguely queasy so he attempts to
clear his mind by giving his bedroom a thorough cleaning. Realistically it’s
not that dirty, they haven’t even lived in this house for a month, but he
figures you can never be too safe.
At two thirty he opens the door to his bedroom because he can’t be 100% certain
he’ll hear the doorbell from inside his room. At a quarter till he begins
pacing the hallway that leads from the kitchen to the front room and ignoring
his sister when she calls him some variation of a psychotic nut job.
At two fifty five he takes a perch behind the blinds of the large front window.
From here he can see down to the edge of the block and still stay hidden from
view.
“Jen? What are you doing?” The sound of his mother’s voice makes him jump up;
startled he clutches a hand to his chest and rounds on her.
“God mom, you scared the crap out of me!” He runs a now shaking hand through
his hair and sighs, “My friend is coming over, remember? I mentioned him last
night…”
His mother’s face lights up at this and she nods happily, “See! I just knew
you’d make friends quick enough! I do hope he’s a nice boy!”
Jensen opens his mouth to declare that Jared is very nice indeed but is cut off
by the doorbell ringing. Instantly his face pales and he rushes forward,
pausing to eye his mom, “Go on mom. I don’t need a chaperone.”
She clicks in disapproval, shaking her head, but heads back down the hall.
Jensen waits until she’s disappears into the kitchen before turning the lock
and opening the door.
“Hey,” he greets, smiling brightly at Jared. “Come on in.”
Jared gives a nod in greeting and steps inside the front room, both hands
tucking in his pockets as he takes in his environment.
Jensen watches him examine the room. Eyes lingering on the family photo hanging
above the mantel place. And Jensen figures Jared’s probably realizing there’s
no way he’s adopted. He looks way too much like his dad and brother.
“So, this is it,” Jensen states quite obviously and Jared’s eyes turn towards
him. “Um… my room is upstairs so let’s go there.”
He leads Jared down the hall and up the stairs, sighing in relief at the closed
door to his sister’s room before taking a left into his own. Once Jared is
inside he closes the door, leaning against the wood and once more observing
Jared studying his surroundings.
“It’s not much but we just moved here so yeah…” Jensen offers up, feeling
strangely shy, but says no more on the subject when Jared gives him a look that
clearly states his approval. “Well okay I’ve got a candy stash here, help
yourself, here’s some Cokes... I hope you like Coke…”
Jared nods, reaching out to take the offered Coke and eyeing the candy in
consideration.
Jensen busies himself setting up the movie. Once it’s in the DVD player and the
menu pulls up he turns to grab his own soda and a Kit Kat bar. Only then does
he consider seating.
Jared has taken a spot on the foot of the bed. Jensen desperately wants to sit
beside him but isn’t sure what type of message that might send Jared. He eyes
the computer chair in disdain.
His hesitation finally draws Jared’s attention and he glances at the spot on
the bed with a soft nod of his head.
This is enough permission for Jensen who walks over and flops onto the mattress
on his stomach. He begins the movie then, grabbing a pillow to tuck under his
chest, popping open his Coke.
Jensen spends most of the movie watching Jared’s reactions from the corner of
his eye. After all, he’s seen Fight Club a million times already and, though
Jared never makes a sound, the brief flicker of emotions in his eyes in
response to different scenes is nearly breath taking.
Halfway through the movie Jared sets his soda on the floor and reaches for a
pillow as well, stretching out on his stomach beside him.
Jensen’s heart rate accelerates as the warmth from Jared’s body slowly reaches
his own. Casually, he readjusts himself, stretching his arm out so it just
barely rests against Jared’s.
It’s hard to tell if he feels anything at first. Then Jared’s arm moves,
pressing full flush from elbow to shoulder.
Jensen’s breath catches in his throat and he feels silly because he’s done so
much more with other people, other men, but nothing has ever turned him on this
much.
*
The walk to Jared’s house on Monday morning doesn’t really help settle Jensen’s
nerves. He’d spent all Sunday replaying the moment Jared’s flesh rested against
his own. He was most likely imagining it, but he could have sworn he could
still feel the tingle along his skin. When Jared had left, Jensen walking him
to the front door, his hand rested for two full heartbeats against Jensen’s
forearm before he was walking off down the path and not looking back.
So now Jensen can’t help wondering if anything might be different. That intense
whatever in Jared’s eyes had seemed so much less in their last eye lock and
maybe walls were breaking and Jensen was making headway.
Consequently this leaves him wondering what he might find on the other side of
these walls, and if he was really prepared for it. He didn’t know if he was
prepared, but he was ready. That had to mean something.
Jared is waiting at the end of the walk as Jensen approaches with a smile,
“Mornin’.” He pauses just long enough to watch Jared’s head nod before they
begin their walk. Nothing out of the ordinary yet. “So I have a lot of movies.
And I was thinking you might not have seen them all and it’s really my duty to
ensure you witness true cinematic genius so I made this list.”
Jensen reached in his pocket, pulling out the sheet of paper he’d worked so
hard on the day before, offering it to Jared. The taller boy took it, opening
the folds and eyeing the titles there.
“If you want, you could like… cross off the ones you’ve seen then we can make
our way through the rest,” Jensen attempts to make this idea as casual as
possible. He doesn’t really want Jared knowing he’s been planning this since
the moment the door shut on Saturday evening, but he figures it’s mildly
obvious. After all, who carries a list of their movies around just in case?
Jared folds the paper back together and puts it in his pocket. Which Jensen
thinks is a really great sign. It calms his nerves just a little so he
continues.
“And I’m always up for new movies. I don’t know if you have any sort of
collection but if you make your own list I’ll take a look. We could like,
alternate or something,” Jensen shrugs, failing to fight off the blush crawling
up his cheeks.
Jared stops his walk and Jensen follows suit, turning to look at Jared in
confusion. Dread crawls through him. Obviously something he said is not
settling well with Jared. Maybe Jared knows that Jensen is fully aware he
doesn’t write anything but stuff for class. Or perhaps Jared can see that
Jensen is trying to work his way into Jared’s hard shell.
What happens next, however, surprises Jensen more than any of his
considerations would have. Jared smiles. It’s not a full smile, just barely an
up curve of lips and a flash of white teeth but it reaches his eyes. Lights
them up for a moment and Jensen finds himself transfixed to the sight that’s
already fading back to its place of hiding.
His breath catches somewhere in his lungs as Jared reaches out and very faintly
touches his cheek. Then Jared is once more walking towards the school and
Jensen is left painfully hard, his heart stuttering back to life and his pulse
racing through his veins.
*
Sandy corners Jensen once more that Thursday before lunch. Jensen is only
slightly annoyed because there’s some part of his body that longs to see Jared
even though it’s only been a few hours since their walk that morning. “Okay,
what have you been doing to him?” She demands, hands on hips.
Jensen arches his eyebrows, shifting his backpack, “Nothing. Talking to him?
Walking with him?”
“He’s different,” Sandy looks puzzled though Jensen can tell she wants to be
pleased. “I mean, he’s not really turning into himself like before but there’s
something about him. He seems less… depressed.”
“That’s a good thing right?” Jensen laughs, reaching out to lay his hand on
Sandy’s arm. “I think we’re becoming friends. Or he’s accepting me as one.” And
Jensen thinks he should mention the smile from Monday to Sandy but he can’t
quite give up the details. For some reason the moment seems too much like his
alone and he doesn’t necessarily want to share.
“Yeah, it’s a good thing,”Sandy agrees with a nod, turning so they both can
walk out to the quad. “I’m glad that you’re becoming friends. I hope it can be
more.”
Jensen glances at her, itching to ask the all important question but not sure
if Sandy will have the answer for him, “So… do you know if he is?”
“Gay?” Sandy responds casually, a smile pulling her lips up. “Yeah he is. I
found out our freshman year though I’m not sure who knows. Pretty sure his
family is still unaware about it.”
Jensen wants to ask how she found out, how she can be so 100% sure but he
doesn’t press when she doesn’t offer details.
When they get to their usual table his steps falter. Jared is sitting in the
spot normally occupied by Sandy, instead of by Danneel like normal. Sandy takes
it all in stride, sliding in beside the girl and giving Jensen an encouraging
smile.
So Jensen sits beside Jared, saying a greeting to the others and glancing at
the boy out of the corner of his eyes. Jared doesn’t necessarily look at him
but Jensen sees the rise of red to the normally impassive face.
“Dude,”Chad begins, pieces of sandwich spraying across the table. “Somebody
tell me Britney Carlson is really pregnant with Mr. Davis’ kid!”
Jensen looks up from his food because he’s heard the rumor all morning and
wants to know too. “God that’s disgusting,” he shakes his head.
Sandy laughs, “Oh it’s so a lie. I heard she kissed one of the cheerleaders
boyfriends at some party the other night so now they are seeking revenge. Who
knows why they choose Davis though.”
“Probably ‘cause he’s so foul,” Danneel shakes her head.
Tom chimes in with something but it doesn’t register in Jensen’s head, because
suddenly there’s a leg resting against his, firm and strong. The chip in
between his fingers falls silently onto the table as his breath hitches and his
body tingles.
Vaguely he wonders if having any body part touching Jared will always make him
feel this out of sorts. His eyes travel to the other but Jared is simply
watching his friends continue their discussion, chewing slowly on the apple
grasped in his palm.
Jensen shifts his foot so their legs rest completely against each other and he
hopes Jared reads something into the move. Like that Jensen’s completely
interested in whatever it is Jared might be considering.
He never is quite able to catch up with the conversation at the table but
that’s okay. He slowly eats his food and enjoys the warmth circling through his
system. Then Jared’s fingers just barely caress his arm before he stands and
walks off to his afternoon classes while Jensen has to sit at the table for a
few minutes to calm his body.
*
Friday afternoon Jensen can’t help but ramble on about how nice weekends are
and how sometimes he feels the only way to get through the school week is to
remember the relief that comes with being free for two whole days. “So do you
want to come over again tomorrow?”
Jared nods and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a piece of paper and
offering it to Jensen.
It’s a list of movies, written neatly and alphabetized. Jensen swallows thickly
and tries to sort through the overwhelming surge of emotions. He feels awkward
and foolish because really, how can you have a relationship with someone who
won’t talk? Then he feels like a character from the dreaded chick flick because
he’s considering a relationship between them at all.
“Sweet,” he finally nods, licking his lips and studying the paper. “So um… you
can come by around the same time? Or earlier. Whatever works cause I’ll be home
all day.”
Jared nods and they finish their walk in silence. Jensen is too wrapped up in
thoughts of sentimental gestures and awkward silences, because really it would
be bound to happen. He can’t just keep assuming Jared is okay with things and
then take a step across that line that cannot be undone.
When they get to Jared’s front walk Jensen stops but his eyes don’t rise up.
Everything suddenly feels so unsure and not right and he almost feels guilty
for having a crush on Jared in the first place.
Then gentle, soft fingers come to rest under his chin, gooseflesh spreading
along his neck as he allows his head to be angled up. Jared is looking at him
curiously, his head tilted just slightly to the left.
Jensen finds himself explaining, “I’m going to be honest Jared. I like you. A
lot.” Here he bites his lip but Jared’s fingers stay on his chin so he
continues. “But I’m worried. I mean… okay I don’t know why you don’t talk but
whatever it was must have been bad and what if I cross a line? What if I do
something to hurt you? Or what if you don’t like me at all and I’m just making
an ass of myself?”
The noise is so faint Jensen momentarily thinks he’s imagining it. But he’s
not. Jared lets of a breathy sort of chuckle, his fingers sliding hesitantly
down Jensen’s neck and tracing the first part of his collar bone just visible
under his shirt.
Like usual, when touching and Jared are involved, his breath hitches and his
heart stutters and Jensen has to wonder when he’ll keel over from the amount of
heartbeats skipped because of Jared.
“Okay,” Jensen breathes, eyes interpreting the emotions behind Jared’s. “One
step at a time then? How about I let you make the first moves? Because I can
guarantee I’ll be okay with whatever you have in mind.”
Jared graces him with another smile, this one just a tad brighter then the
first and lingering just a little longer. He nods, letting his hand fall from
Jensen’s shoulder where it had rested for a few brief moments.
Jensen watches him turn and walk towards his house. At the door Jared pauses
and glances just slightly over his shoulder, giving Jensen one final look
before disappearing inside.
As he walks the rest of the distance home Jensen can’t seem to get a control on
his racing heart or stop his hands from shaking. That’s okay though, because
Jared’s smile is still burning brightly in his mind and most likely will be for
the rest of the night.
***** Chapter 3 *****
Jensen spends the rest of October and most of November in a happy Jared daze.
They walk together to and from school, sit by each other at lunch and during
Chemistry and spend Saturday afternoons working through each other’s movie
list. It turns out Jared owns quite a few Jensen’s never even heard of and they
are all, well mostly all, really good.
He even puts up with some of the sappier chick flicks that Jared has an
affinity for. But mostly he enjoys seeing the faint blush that crawls up
Jared’s face when Jensen questions him on a title.
But Jared’s a good sport and even sits through some of Jensen’s not so good B
horror flicks. Afterwards Jensen always tries to explain the deeper meaning to
the gore filled plot and Jared seems to master the eye roll in response.
The Saturday before Halloween is the first time Jensen doesn’t answer the door
when Jared arrives. Turns out you really can’t hear the doorbell in his room
when the door is closed and Jared is earlier than expected.
Luckily, he stumbles across the copy of Labyrinth Mackenzie has been asking for
and opens his door only to hear her voice traveling up the stairs, “Listen
freak, either say something or get lost!”
Jensen nearly jumps down the entire flight, hands clasping his sister’s
shoulders before she can slam the door in Jared’s face. Jared looks relieved to
see him and Jensen hurries to apologize for her rudeness before pushing the DVD
case into her hands and shoving her down the hall.
Other then this incident and the time Jensen’s mom invited Jared to stay for
dinner, where Jared looked helplessly from Jensen to the floor and back before
Jensen fumbled out an excuse for him, Jensen thought their… whatever… was
coming along quite nicely.
Laying side by side on the bed their arms or legs would touch more often than
not. At lunch Jared’s form always slid over to seal hip to ankle against his.
And his fingers never failed to leave a gentle caress in the form of a goodbye.
For the most part Jensen was walking on a little cloud of happy. He couldn’t
help but feel impatience for the next step, which hopefully involved lips and
tongues, was slowly tensing up his nerves.
Which was precisely why this Saturday, the weekend before Thanksgiving, Jensen
was greeting Jared at the front door in a sweater and converse, “Hey! I was
thinking we could go for a walk?”
Jared arches his eyebrow but steps back so Jensen can join him on the front
step.
“I’ll be back later mom,” he calls down the hall before shutting the door and
heading down the path. “I love this weather. Not too cold but just crisp
enough. Plus the leaves. Always did love the fall…”
Jensen’s aware he’s rambling but he does it so often with Jared he figures the
boy has adjusted to it by now. His hand falls casually by his side, gently
brushing against Jared’s. Some part of him desperately wants to grasp the
larger hand, but he doesn’t forget his decision to let Jared take the first new
step.
Fortunately Jared does at that precise moment, lacing their fingers together
slowly. Jensen smiles brightly at him because he thinks Jared might be nervous
and he needs to know this is more than okay.
“Jared, do you ever just think about things?” Jensen muses, leading them
towards a park he discovered a few weeks ago. He doesn’t need to look at Jared
to know the boy’s watching him curiously, “Like… maybe we really are all here
for a reason? Like there’s really someone out there guiding us down certain
paths.”
The fingers laced around his own squeeze gently and Jensen figures Jared
probably spends a lot of time just thinking about things.
“I think, maybe, I came here for a reason. Or my family I mean,” they begin to
walk along the park’s sidewalk, Jensen steering them towards a group of trees
still mostly covered in brown and red leaves. “Before we moved I was kinda
getting into some fucked up stuff. If we’d stayed I might have gotten worse.”
Jared’s watching him intensely and Jensen can feel the unasked ‘what sort of
stuff?’
“It was just stupid petty shit, nothing way crazy or anything, but it could
have been worse. I could have been,” Jensen stops them, taking a seat in
between the trees on the dry crunchy grass and tugging Jared down beside him. A
laugh bubbles out his lips as he leans just barely against Jared’s form. “If
you ever tell my parents that I admitted any of that I’ll be forced to kill
you.”
Jared gives his breathy chuckle that Jensen so rarely gets to hear and moves
his arm to rest against Jensen’s lower back.
This plan is turning out quite well and Jensen has to lick his lips while
trying to steady his racing pulse. He allows his body to form against Jared’s,
his head resting on the broad shoulder.
Then they are laying back, Jared’s arm curling around his side as Jensen turns
to see him better. Both their breaths escape in shaky waves, eyes locking, and
lips barely inches apart.
The tension is nearly too much so Jensen finds himself whispering, “You know
Jared, if you want to kiss me I’m really okay with that.”
Jared’s free hand moves up, his thumb tracing Jensen’s jaw line before grasping
his chin and giving a gentle tug forward.
Then their lips are sliding together and it’s slightly off center and their
noses bump before they get the angle right but it’s so perfect Jensen’s seeing
cartoon fireworks. Sparks are dancing across his skin everywhere it brushes
Jared’s. He’s sure this kiss can top any ever given by Julia Roberts or whoever
in any sappy chick flick.
Their tongues only briefly touch before Jared is pulling back, biting his lips
with uncertainty.
Jensen’s having trouble keeping his eyes open so he gives in and lets a smile
paint his face, “Well that was pretty much better then I’d ever imagined. And
yes, I’d imagined.”
Jared is smiling now and touching Jensen’s face tenderly.
Jensen snuggles his head down against Jared’s shoulder enjoying the slight rise
and fall as he begins musing aloud on why he thinks the world is most stunning
in autumn and how he wishes it would last longer.
*
The following Monday morning Jared laces his fingers with Jensen’s the moment
he falls into step beside him. This makes both boys smile at each other before
Jensen entertains Jared with an impression of his sister’s early morning
discovery of a spider in the shower.
Tuesday is the only other day of school that week because of Thanksgiving break
and Jensen spends the walk home grumbling about how pointless a two day school
week is and how his teachers had to be cruel and assign a mass of homework.
When they get to Jared’s he stops like usual, licking his lips and feeling
suddenly sad to think how many days will pass until he sees the boy again.
Jared doesn’t let go of his hand though and Jensen arches his eyebrows
quizzically. A gentle tug on the hand and a head tilt has him asking, “You want
me to come in?”
Jared nods, leading his way up the front path. It’s the first time Jared’s ever
used a key to open the front door so Jensen figures no one must be home.
Then he remembers Sandy mentioning the annual Padalecki family gathering and
asking whether Jared was going to pick up his grandparents with his family.
Apparently this was something he normally did and Jensen couldn’t help
wondering if he was the reason Jared had stayed behind.
The front room is nice and spacious, decorated with a farm theme and very well
kept. Jensen looks around in interest at the photos of Jared’s family. It feels
mildly odd to not know any of their names or where Jared falls in the sibling
line up.
He tries not to think too much on it though, because it only makes him realize
how very little he knows about Jared and how much Jared knows about him.
A hand brushes against his arm and he turns to Jared with a smile, “Alright,
let’s see your room.”
Jared smiles faintly at this before leading Jensen down one hall, then another,
and finally into a large room. There are only a few things on the walls, some
pictures of his family, a poster for Return of the Jedi and a cork board
covered in images ofSandy, Chad, Danneel, Tom and – most surprisingly –
himself.
“How did you get pictures of me?” Jensen asks, stepping up to get a closer
look. And while it doesn’t happen often, this is one of those few times Jensen
finds himself genuinely annoyed that he’ll receive no answer.
Jared only shrugs, dropping his backpack on the floor and kicking off his shoes
before taking a seat on the foot of his bed.
Jensen sighs and moves around the rest of the room, setting his own backpack on
the computer chair. He takes in a small collection of snow globes on Jared’s
bookshelf before studying the books stored there.
After a full ten minutes of searching, gathering pieces to the puzzle that is
Jared, he’s stopped in his tracks by Jared’s fingers wrapping around his wrist.
He’d been in the process of walking past the boy but now turns to him, smiling
guiltily.
“Sorry. I’m being way nosey huh?” He laughs though the noise dies in his throat
as Jared’s tongue darts out to lick over soft pink lips.
Jensen finds himself repeating the action and suddenly they are kissing.
Jared’s arms wrapping around his form, bending him down to get a better angle
to slide his tongue between parted lips.
A soft moan leaves Jensen’s lips and Jared nearly lifts him from the ground,
turning their bodies, the world tilting, and Jensen finds himself lying on his
back on the bed, Jared perches over him.
Heat spreads through him, sending blood rushing to his cock and turning the
rest of his body into Jello. Jared’s lips move from his, breath harsh and
panting as he presses firm kisses against Jensen’s jaw, tongue darting out to
trace a line down his neck.
Jensen’s trying to process how they got from comfortable silence to intense
make out session as Jared’s fingers move shyly under the hem of his shirt.
“God Jared…” he gasps as Jared bite nips along his collar bone.
His touch grows firmer with confidence brought on by Jensen’s word and suddenly
Jensen finds himself without a shirt, watching it drop to the floor through a
lust filled daze.
Jared’s lips move in a steady zigzag down Jensen’s chest, pausing to circle
each nipple with his tongue. And it’s not until he’s kissing along the belt
line that Jensen snaps back into reality.
Or at least enough to tug Jared’s shoulders until the boy crawls up to meet his
eyes, looking confused and just a little rejected.
“Oh I really want that,” Jensen clears his throat, reaching out to touch
Jared’s cheek. “Trust me I do but if we’re going to do this… mess around or
whatever, I think it’d be better to start slow.”
Jared still looks unsure so Jensen moves his hand to tug at the hem of Jared’s
shirt.
“Can I take this off?” He asks softly and Jared nods, moving to lie back and
allow Jensen to tug off the offending article.
Jensen then enjoys his own amount of time pressing firm lips against the tan
expanse of Jared’s throat, savoring the quick breaths and just barely there
gasps.
He moves to unfasten his own belt and jeans, sighing with relief as his cock is
given room to breathe. Slowly he rolls Jared so they are both laying face to
face.
His lips trace up the curve of Jared’s earlobe as he whispers, “So now you can
touch me and I can touch you… okay?”
Jared’s answer comes in the form of fingers undoing his own belt and jeans.
Jensen desperately wants to see Jared, all of him in his naked glory, but
settles for touching instead. His palm slides beneath boxers and he gently
grasps the firm heavy weight of him.
“God,” he groans, his head falling into the crook of Jared’s neck as he gently
tightens his grasp and begins a steady stroke.
Jared matches his pace and it’s more intense then Jensen could possibly have
imagined… jacking each other off at a matching rate. In fact it’s almost too
intense and Jensen has to bite against Jared’s flesh to keep from coming right
then and there.
Jared is doing some amazing twist pull slide thing with his hand, Jensen mimics
the motion and is rewarded with Jared’s hips bucking up towards him.
Then Jared’s wrenching his head back and sealing their lips together and
tongues clashing as their hands pick up pace. Jensen is rapidly growing dizzy
as he feels the familiar tingle curling at the bottom of his toes and he breaks
the kiss to moan.
“Oh shit Jared… god yes,” he’s coming white hot, hard and fast into Jared’s
palm. And he thinks he’s almost done but then Jared’s coming with a soft, deep
moan, it’s the first real noise Jensen has ever heard the boy make and it’s so
intense it prolongs Jensen’s orgasm another two or so minutes.
“Fuck,” he sighs as they both flop back against the bed, sweaty and satiated.
For the moment at least.
*
Jared doesn’t come by that Saturday but Jensen isn’t surprised. Whatever the
annual Padalecki family gathering comprised probably extended the entire break.
He is still sad to not see the boy and spends a fair amount of his free time
reliving their long kisses and gentle touches.
On Monday morning he finds himself standing by Jared’s front path a full five
minutes earlier then he should be. Which is how he meets Jared’s mother.
“Oh hello, can I help you with something?” She asks politely, eyeing him with
curiosity.
Jensen’s startled, hadn’t even noticed her taking a bag of trash out and runs a
suddenly shaking hand through his hair, “Oh no… I’m Jensen. I uh… I walk to
school with Jared.”
At this she frowns just slightly, glancing back at the house, “I’ve never seen
you around before…”
“Well I just moved here a little over a month ago,” Jensen provides, wishing
Jared would hurry his ass up and save him from this awkward situation.
“Really? And you’ve become friends with Jared?” She sounds skeptical and Jensen
can’t really blame her because, seriously, how does a kid who doesn’t talk make
friends?
Jensen opts for the safe route of explaining, “Well I actually became friends
with Sandy and she introduced us. Since we walk the same path I figured we
could walk together. Jared’s really great company.”
Her eyebrows rise outrageously high and Jensen hopes she doesn’t think he’s
crazy, “Jared? Do you… does he talk to you?”
“No,” Jensen replies with a slight smile and shake of his head.
He’s saved from any other prying details as Jared finally emerges, smiling
brightly at him before his eyes land on his mom. The smile vanishes instantly
but Jensen can tell by the shocked look on her face that she saw it regardless.
“Nice meeting you Mrs. Padalecki,” Jensen nods her way before falling into step
with Jared. “You mom seems nice,” Jensen offers but Jared just rolls his eyes.
They’re halfway to school when Jared pulls him into a cluster of trees,
pressing him firm against the trunk of one, sealing their lips together. Jensen
wraps his arms around Jared’s neck, humming pleasantly into the kiss.
They stay locked that way for several minutes before parting for air, Jared’s
forehead resting against his own, “Missed you too.” Jensen whispers with a
smile and Jared chuckles softly.
*
“Hey,” Jensen grabs Sandy’s elbow, successfully halting her steps towards the
quad. “How the hell did Jared get pictures of me?”
She laughs, tucking hair behind her ear, “Never underestimate Jared Padalecki.
He can be very sneaky when need be but don’t worry, he only ever keeps those
pict… wait a sec! You were in his room!”
A flush crawls up Jensen’s cheeks. He should have figuredSandy would know those
types of random details about the boy, “Yeah. Maybe.”
Sandy simply snorts, leaning against a locker, “Alright spill. I want details.
Seriously, be as graphic as you please.”
“God go watch gay porn or something,” Jensen shakes his head, smirking at her.
“It was last Tuesday. And no one was home so we, you know, kissed and stuff.”
“Kissed and stuff? I didn’t really see you as the shy type Jensen,” Sandy
mocks.
“I’m not,” He defends. “I’m just not the kiss and tell type. At least not with
Jared.”
This gives Sandy pause and she smiles at him warmly, “Well that’s good I
suppose. And I’m not surprised no one was home, they were probably at the
airport.”
“Yeah what’s the whole deal behind that?” Jensen asks and only feels mildly
guilty for discussing Jared behind his back. It’s not anything bad after all
and it’s not like Jared’s going to up and explain it to him.
“Well his various family members fly in for Thanksgiving and normally it’s both
Monday and Tuesday that their flights land so Jared doesn’t have to attend
school all week. Plus they stay in this super posh hotel and go to some fancy
restaurant. They’ve done it for as long as I can remember and this is the first
year Jared didn’t go.”
These facts bring up a lot of questions in Jensen’s mind. Like, how did Jared
tell his parents he wasn’t going? And why did he choose to stay home? Or was it
his choice at all?
Jensen can only sigh and shake his head, turning with Sandy to head to lunch.
One thing he knows for sure is when it comes to Jared; he’s not going to know
much of anything at all.
“Don’t worry too much on it,” Sandy offers as if she’s reading his mind. And
Jensen figures she’s probably had to adjust to the same disturbing knowledge of
just being okay not knowing things.
“It’s hard,” Jensen’s eyes automatically find Jared’s form as they enter the
quad. “I’m… I feel something for him. At the same time I feel like I can’t or
shouldn’t because there’s only so far we can go like this. And I don’t want
either of us to get hurt.”
Sandy’s hand on his arm provides a surprising amount of comfort and Jensen
knows she gets what he’s saying, “It’s just going to take time Jensen. I really
don’t think Jared will stay silent forever. I mean, think of how he’s changed
in just the past few weeks with you. It’s only a matter of time until he can’t
fight the urge to say something.”
Jensen sincerely hopes she’s right but says no more on the subject as they
approach the table. He takes his seat beside Jared, smiling at him when a hand
gently caresses his thigh. And though the silence may kill him sometimes Jensen
can’t help thinking that for Jared, it’s completely worth it.
***** Chapter 4 *****
It’s snowing the first Monday of December and Jensen is relieved to finally
have a real excuse to drive his car to school. When he pulls up in front of
Jared’s house the boy is already standing on the sidewalk, eyes fixed towards
the direction of Jensen’s home. He’s wearing a knitted black beanie, hair
spilling out from beneath.
Jensen thinks with that, the baggy jeans and matching black sweater Jared could
easily be a model for Abercrombie and Fitch. “Hey sexy,” he calls after rolling
down his window. “Need a lift?”
Jared bends at the waist, looking in at him curiously before smiling and
reaching out for the car door handle.
They’re going to be insanely early to school and Jensen knows this but it’s not
like he had Jared’s phone number to let him know he’d be driving. Besides he
figures the extra time hanging together in the parking lot won’t hurt him.
Jared’s hand comes to rest over his as he shifts the car into drive, “I’m way
too much of a wimp to walk in this weather,” he laughs, casually spreading his
fingers so Jared’s can lace between them. “Plus my car doesn’t get driven
enough. I think she’s jealous.”
Even though the jokes mostly lame Jensen is rewarded with Jared’s chuckle. He
adds a mental tally note to his list. In the weeks since Thanksgiving that
chuckle has become more and more frequent. Jensen decides it’s a fantastic
sign, no matter how small it seems.
Jensen takes advantage of the bench seat; hooking a finger in Jared’s belt loop
and pulling him flush against his side. As he stops at a light his nose presses
against hair and ear lobe, “Is this alright?” He whispers.
Jared flushes, adjusting his legs into a more comfortable position before
laying his hand high on Jensen’s thigh.
The moment is so perfect Jensen actually considers not turning left into the
school’s parking lot. Maybe they could just keep driving like this. Just him
and Jared and whatever shit happened to Jared would fade away and they would
have their happily ever after.
At this thought Jensen thumbs down his blinker. No, he really can’t be thinking
about ‘happily ever afters’ and running away together. The world really just
doesn’t work that way and he knows better then to think it might.
Still…
Jensen glances at Jared as he slid the car into a parking spot, “I kinda
already assumed we were um… and well you might have too but just for the
record, I wanted to know… do you want to be my boyfriend?”
He can’t fight off the blush painting his cheeks so instead Jensen focuses his
attention on turning the key in the car’s ignition off. Jared had different
plans however. His hand moved up to cup Jensen’s chin, a favorite gesture of
his, and tilt his head towards him. Lips sealing in a kiss that quickly became
heated.
Jensen moaned as his hand tangled up into the thick locks of Jared’s hair,
tongues swirling against each other. Jensen could very easily get lost in the
taste of coffee and toothpaste and something distinctly Jared.
A loud honk followed by a shout of, “get a room!” and laughter broke the
moment.
Jared blushed, pulling back a few inches and tracing his thumb down Jensen’s
cheek.
“So, that’s a yes then?” Jensen can’t help but tease, grinning before leaning
forward for another soft kiss.
*
“Where is it?!” Jensen groaned, leafing through the stack of papers on the
counter. “Come on… come on!” Anger and frustration built up in him as his
search remained fruitless.
“Jensen, honey, what are you looking for?” His mother eyed him over her glasses
while setting her cup of ice tea on the table.
“There’s this paper…” Jensen huffed, moving to the trash can. “And if had all
these movies on it. It’s… well some were crossed out and…”
His mother’s expression drifted from confusion to caution, “Okay… and was it
important?”
“Yes. Do you think I’d be looking for it if it wasn’t important?!” He snapped,
instantly regretting the words as he caught his mother’s flinch from the corner
of his eye.
“Does this have anything to do with that mute boy?” She asked, fingers
smoothing down the sides of her shirt in a nervous gesture.
“Mute… oh you mean Jared?” Jensen turns to face her completely, leaning back
against the counter. “He’s not mute. He’s just… quiet.”
Which was an extreme understatement but Jensen wasn’t sure how to explain the
situation to his mother. “Are you seeing this boy?” She pressed on.
Jensen’s unable to speak at this question. He’s never really come out to his
parents, never felt the need to and he’s not sure now is the time, his mother
is smarter then he’s given her credit for though. “Mom… he’s not… I mean, we
are…” he sighs, not quite able to finish the thought.
She moves across the kitchen to him her arms coming up to circle his shoulders
in a tight hug. “Oh don’t be so nervous honey. You know I’ll always love you,
no matter what. I just want you to be careful around this boy… there’s
something about him I just can’t put my finger on.”
“Jared’s really great mom,” Jensen defends, though he knows he will keep his
mother’s advice in his head. Just in case.
“Well anyways,” she presses a kiss to his cheek. “You left a bunch of
schoolwork in the front room honey, maybe your paper is there?”
Jensen beamed at her, returning the kiss, “You’re absolutely right! And a
genius! Thank you!” With that he darted into the front room to retrieve the
missing list.
*
“Have you ever dated anyone before?” Jensen asks Jared halfway through 28 Weeks
Later.
Jared eyes him oddly though Jensen’s not really sure if it’s the question or
the timing that surprised him. Jensen has to admit that having discussions
about ex’s during zombie movies isn’t really traditional. Regardless, Jared
shakes his head. First a negative, then a positive.
Jensen arches his eyebrows, “No and yes? So one of those ‘it was complicated’
type of things?”
Jared nods, shifting to grab a handful of Reese Pieces. He pours them into his
mouth before gesturing to Jensen for an answer.
“Well, not really dated…” Jensen moves to pull the candy closer. “This one guy
and I sort of had a fling for a few weeks, but it was more about making out and
blows jobs then romance. You’re definitely my first boyfriend.”
Jared blushes at this, bumping their shoulders together in an affectionate
gesture.
“So, in this complicated relationship of yours…” Jensen begins, eyes focusing
on the TV to work up the nerve to ask the next question. He feels silly for
being so nervous. It’s not like Jared’s going to flip out and stop talking to
him. “Did you sleep together?”
Jared stills completely, his body going rigid and Jensen has to watch his chest
to make sure he’s still breathing.
Jensen decides this is a very bad sign and can’t help wondering what
information he may have stumbled upon, “Hey it’s okay. I mean… if it’s
something you don’t want to go into that’s fine.”
Jared’s eyes move to him, his shoulders relaxing just a little, a gentle sigh
falling from his lips.
“I haven’t,” Jensen offers up, hoping to kill the final threads of tension
between them. “Not all the way at least. Just blow jobs, hand jobs, fooling
around and shit but not… yeah.”
Jared nods the soft movements of his body returning as the tense moment fades
away.
Jensen’s not sure he should push his luck but curiosity has never been his
strong suit so he asks, “Have you ever had a blow job?”
This time Jared’s body doesn’t turn into stone. Instead his head tilts towards
Jensen, eyes suddenly burning with curiosity and want.
It’s taken a little while to learn but Jensen can now successfully interpret
that look. Jared’s never had a blow job but he’d like too. Jensen can’t really
think of a reason to deny him that so he moves forward, lips sealing together.
Jared’s fingers lace up through his hair as Jensen pushes their bodies back,
straddling his hips and reaching out to undue buttons. He leans down to spread
kisses over the firm chest beneath him, enjoying the near silence of Jared’s
gasp and harsh inhales.
Jensen’s fingers move swiftly against Jared’s belt buckle, unzipping the pants
before crawling down to slide both them and the boxers down and off. His pulse
quickens as he takes in Jared’s mostly naked form, the boy is simply gorgeous.
Hands tugging on his shoulder makes him look up and Jensen follows Jared’s
questioning gaze to the bedroom door. “Don’t worry, my family knows they’d be
skinned alive for coming in without knocking. Besides the door is locked. You
just have to keep real quiet.”
Jared rolls his eyes at this and Jensen chuckles pleasantly, laughter still
bubbling out as he presses kisses into the curve of Jared’s hipbone.
Slowly he works his way across the skin, learning its texture and taste. He can
smell Jared’s arousal, hot and musky, and feel it bumping against his cheek as
he continues to swell with desire.
By the time Jensen centers in on Jared’s hard cock, the boy is writhing beneath
him. Jensen’s eyes move up to watch the expressions play across Jared’s face as
he snakes out his tongue and licks one solid line up.
Jared’s eyes flutter closed, one hand clenching in Jensen’s hair while the
other hovers in mid air between them.
Jensen repeats the lick before blowing softly and enjoying Jared’s sudden
thrust upwards, “No, it’s best to stay still.” He instructs, hands pressing
down into Jared’s hips before he circles his lips and sucks just the tip of
Jared’s dick into his mouth.
Jared makes a soft whimper and it’s enough to make Jensen moan, the noise
vibrating against Jared’s skin. Slowly Jensen relaxes his throat, allowing the
length to slide back, full and heavy against his tongue.
His hand wraps around the base and he begins a steady stroke suck rhythm that
brings both Jared’s hands into his hair, urging him on. Jensen’s so incredibly
turned on by Jared’s quiet moans he can’t help but grind against the mattress
for any form of relief.
Jensen quickens his pace, hollowing his cheeks to apply more pressure. He knows
Jared’s close, can feel the sharp jerks in his movements, and ignores him when
he tries to pull Jensen’s head back.
When Jared comes Jensen swallows it all, milking him dry before allowing the
now limp flesh to fall from his mouth. Slowly he crawls up Jared’s body,
licking his lips, “Was that okay?”
Jared grins at him, sealing their lips together before rolling over to straddle
Jensen’s hips.
It’s not long before Jared’s crawling down his own body and Jensen finds it
much more difficult to stay silent.
Jared’s mouth is burning around him, so anticipated it’s almost too much when
it closes tight. Jared’s hands are large and firm on his hips.
Jensen nearly comes on the spot when Jared’s jaw relaxes and he slides all the
way back, head pressing against the back of his throat. He never would have
guessed Jared could deep throat like that.
When Jared hums, one single note, it’s too much and Jensen hardly has time to
mutter a warning before he’s coming, hard. Jared swallows too, licking his lips
with a satisfied smirk when Jensen’s finished.
“Damn,” Jensen whispers, tugging on Jared’s arm until the boy lays beside him
and he can gently press their forms together.
A loud scream from the TV has them looking up and both chuckling.
“Well, that’s the first time I’ve ever given and been given head during a
zombie movie,” Jensen grins as Jared’s fingers brush his cheek and their heads
tilt to get the right angle for a tender kiss.
*
“Hey guys,” Jensen slid onto the bench beside Jared.
“Jensen! If anyone knows it’ll be Jensen,” Chad slams a hand down on the table
causing Jensen to pause in the middle of pulling out his lunch. From the corner
of his eye he can see Jared smirk before he feels a hand rest on his thigh.
“Chad, let it drop,” Tom groans, shaking his head in annoyance.
“No! I’m telling you I’m right!” Chad defends jerking his fork toward Tom then
back to Jensen. “Okay. Now Sandy says Quentin Tarantino plays a character in
Pulp Fiction but I’ve fuckin’ seen that movie and he’s not there!”
Jensen’s eyebrow arches and he laughs, setting his soda on the table, “This is
the actual issue?”
Danneel rolls her eyes, “What do you expect? It is Chad after all.”
“He’s in it,” Jensen responds before Chad can say something to Danneel he’d
most likely regret. “It’s a small role but he is. Jared and I just watched that
a few weeks back.”
The table is quiet for a moment as everyone takes this in. For the most part
its general knowledge that something is happening between the two of them, but
since Jared’s not one for discussing anything, the topic is never approached.
Sandy laughs, holding out her hands, “I do believe you owe me five bucks
Murray, fork it over.”
Chad grumbles, reaching in his back pocket for his wallet. Tom and Danneel both
join in Sandy’s laughter and Tom adds, “Never bet againstSandy, Chad. When will
you learn this?”
Jensen chuckles as well but the noise dies in his throat as a pair of soft lips
press just below his earlobe. He licks his suddenly dry lips, turning to Jared
who gives him a soft smile and a nod before sliding off the bench.
“Whoa,” Chad breaths, laughing as he reaches across the table and slaps Jensen
on the arm. “Boy does he like you!”
Jensen can’t help his flush, clearing his throat as he turns to look at the
others. “Well I really like him so that’s a good thing I suppose.”
“That’s sweet,” Danneel smiles.
“Look maybe you guys can help me with something,” Jensen glances over his
shoulder to make sure Jared really has gone. “Christmas is just around the
corner and I really have no idea what to get him.”
Both Sandy and Danneel awe at this and Tom laughs while Chad just rolls his
eyes in the direction of the girls, “Bunch of saps.” He snorts. “Try a karaoke
machine. Or wait! A really nice iPhone.”
“Chad shut up,” Sandy throws a French fry at him. “Jensen you have to think of
something really sweet.”
“Yeah, it has to have some sentimental value,” Danneel agrees. “What’s
something that means a lot to both of you?”
“Um…” Jensen wracks his brain but can’t really center on anything specific. “I
don’t know.”
“You mean you haven’t learned anything about Jared in all your long hours of
conversation?” Chad asks, fake innocence making his voice quiver with a slight
whine.
“If you’re not going to be helpful, just leave Chad,” Danneel scowls towards
him then turns back to Jensen. “Don’t mind him, Chad wouldn’t know romantic if
it bit him in the ass.”
“Hey! I’ll have you know I can be very romantic,” Chad defends himself, words
half mumbled around the food in his mouth.
Danneel snorts, “Yeah right, and Jared’s going to be the lead in the school
play this year.”
“Jensen,” Tom interjects before Chad can think of any witty retort to Danneel’s
remark. “Just think about what you know. I know Jared doesn’t say much but I’m
sure you’ve learned a lot about him regardless. What do you think he’ll like?”
Jensen thinks about this, turning idea after idea over in his mind. “Well, I
could get a necklace or something but that seems too… girly. Jared’s not really
the necklace type right?”
They all agree on that point, which is really a rare moment. “A movie?” Sandy
asks. “I know you guys spend a lot of time watching movies. Is there one that
stands out as being special?”
Jensen’s mind automatically pulls up 28 Weeks Later, but he can’t see that
carrying quite the message he intends his Christmas gift to bring, “We only
watch movies one of us owns, so there’s nothing really too special about that.”
“Well where did you go on your first date?” Danneel asks curiously.
“We haven’t really gone out anywhere,” Jensen sighs, finding himself wondering
if he’s a bad boyfriend for not taking Jared anywhere special. “God, I didn’t
think this would be so hard…”
“You’ll come up with something,” Tom smiles encouragingly, gathering trash onto
his lunch tray as the warning bell sounds.
“Try making a list,” Chad offers and it’s actually helpful advice so Jensen
thanks him and the rest of the group as they stand to head back to class.
*
“Is there any sort of Padalecki family gathering over the Christmas break?”
Jensen asks on the drive home from the last day of school for the semester.
He’s looking forward to a several class free weeks but is also dreading the
idea of spending so much time away from Jared.
Jared’s head shakes against his shoulder where he’s resting comfortably.
“So you’ll be around and we can spend time hanging out and such?” He has to
reassure himself that if Jared and he can make it through Jared’s lack of
words, they can make it through extended periods not seeing each other.
Jared nods, hand squeezing Jensen’s thigh in comfort. Jensen marvels at this
because, just as he’s learned to decipher Jared’s silent actions, Jared has
learned to read beneath the words Jensen thinks he’s casually asking.
“Good, I’m going to miss seeing you every day,” he sighs, pulling up in front
of Jared’s house, sliding the car into park. “Would you like to go out with me
tomorrow night?”
Jared lifts himself from Jensen’s side, arching an eyebrow at Jensen in
question, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
Jensen blushes a little, glancing towards Jared’s house until the heat dies a
little and he can face him again, “I thought we could get some dinner... and
maybe see a movie or something?”
He’s not sure if Jared gets that this would be an official date, their first,
but figures the boy has put two and two together when his face breaks into a
wide grin. Slowly Jared nods, sliding across the seat to press a gentle kiss to
Jensen’s lips before he moves back once more and opens his door.
“I’ll pick you up at 7 then,” Jensen calls after him, chuckling as Jared
stumbles a little before turning to him and grinning even brighter than before.
Jensen watches him walk inside, a smile lingering on his lips, before driving
home.
*
“Don’t you look lovely,” Jensen’s mother pauses in her walk down the hall. “Big
date tonight?”
“Something like that,” Jensen nods and reaches up to shift his hair, staring at
himself in the mirror. “Do I really look okay?”
She smiles, stepping into the room to straighten his collar. “You look amazing
darling; he’s definitely a lucky one.”
Jensen snorts, shaking his head at this. “I’m really the lucky one.”
“Don’t sell yourself short Jensen,” She clicks her tongue. “I don’t know much
about this Jared boy or why he’s so special to you, but you just remember that
you’re just as special as he is, if not more so. He is damned blessed to get
you.”
Something tingles in Jensen warmly and he smiles at his mother, reaching out to
give her a quick hug, “Thanks mom. I better get going.”
“Don’t stay out too late. And drive safely!” She warns, following him out of
the room and down the hall.
“Say hi to freak boy for me,” Mackenzie laughs as Jensen heads to the front
door.
Jensen sticks his tongue out at her, “You’re only jealous ‘cause he’s so hot.”
Mackenzie giggles more but a faint blush creeps up her cheeks. Jensen laughs at
her as he heads outside to his car.
He manages to keep his hands from shaking though his nerves are so tightly
wound his left leg bounces against the floor board. His thumb taps to the
offbeat of the song on the radio and he finds himself in front of Jared’s house
too soon for his comfort. He needs to take several deep breaths before turning
the car off and heading towards the front door.
Jared’s father answers less than a minute after Jensen’s rang the doorbell and
this does little to help his nerves. “Hey, I’m Jensen. Jared’s friend?”
A thick eyebrow rises in question, “Yeah? What can I do for you?”
“Oh Jared and I have… um… plans. We were going to a movie,” Jensen feels
awkward and outrageously out of place. He isn’t really that surprised that
Jared’s dad is considering him with deep suspicion. It’s not like Jared had
ever mentioned him.
Jared slides into view in the next moment and Jensen sighs in relief. He looks
at his dad and his dad considers him in return. Jensen watches the silent
communication pass between them until Jared smiles softly, nodding at his dad
before stepping out to join Jensen on the front path.
“Curfew’s 1 am,” His dad says as a goodbye, shutting the door as the two walk
towards the car.
Jared laughs when Jensen opens the passenger door for him.
“Hey I have to do this right you know!” Jensen defends though he chuckles along
with the boy.
The nerves that had previously consumed Jensen fade quickly as they fall into
their comfortable pattern. Jensen provides random topics like what movie they
should see during the drive to Outback Steakhouse.
Jensen had thought it wise to choose somewhere safe and neutral to eat. He
wasn’t sure if Jared had a favorite restaurant, or even a favorite meal for
that matter, but you could never go wrong with a good steak.
As it turns out Jared is more the pleased with his decision. They have only
just been seated when Jared was pointing at an item on the menu, smiling
brightly at Jensen.
“Good choice,” Jensen laughs, looking at the 12 oz. T-bone’s picture. “Don’t
forget to pick your sides. Man… the waiter’s going to think I’m some dominating
bastard who doesn’t let you talk for yourself.”
Jared chuckles, gesturing to the loaded baked potato and broccoli.
When the waiter comes to their table Jensen orders for them both and the man
does consider him and Jared with odd eyes. Jared doesn’t make the situation any
easier by looking down at his plate and not once meeting either of their eyes.
By the time the waiter walks off Jensen is blushing brightly and Jared can’t
hold back a loud burst of laughter. It warms Jensen to hear it and he forgives
younger man for making him looking like a controlling dick.
Still, he mumbles, “asshole,” though a smile.
Dinner goes well, the food is cooked to perfection and both boys leave full and
satisfied. Jared takes Jensen’s hand on the way to the car, smiling at him with
a look that Jensen knows means ‘thank you.’
*
When they get to the theater neither can decide on a movie that might hold
their interest so they choose to walk to the bowling alley next door instead.
As it turns out, Jared is an excellent bowler.
Jensen is not.
This works in his favor though as Jared comes up behind him, circling arms
around his body to help Jensen guide the ball’s trajectory. He centers them in
the middle of the lane, tilting Jensen’s arm in a slight angle.
Jensen’s breath hitches as he feels Jared’s body firm against his own, the heat
soaking between layers of clothing. It’s a good thing Jared doesn’t say
anything because Jensen’s not sure he’d be able to comprehend something as
simple as the alphabet at this point.
They let go of the ball as one. It’s the only strike Jensen gets the whole
game, his form never quite up to par. At the end of three games Jared wins with
a stunning 159 to his pathetic 96 the first time, 161 to 92 the second and 178
to 85 the last.
Jensen’s willing to forgive him for thoroughly kicking his ass though. After
all, two hours of watching the tight lines of Jared’s body stretch and give,
skin occasionally peeking from under clothes, makes the whole thing worthwhile.
Even though he’s pretty sure his right arm is going to ache the next day.
It’s only just after eleven when they exit the bowling alley, so Jensen drives
to a lake just outside of town that he’s heard classmates talking about
occasionally. They pull into a secluded spot, Jensen smiling brightly at Jared
before crawling over the seat to flop into the back.
Jared laughs, not even bothering to attempt the maneuver. Jensen watches in
amusement as he slides out the passenger side then opens the back door and
climbs in beside him.
It’s a fairly cold night so Jensen reaches beneath the front seat, glad he
thought ahead, and produces a large fluffy blanket. “I’m sure we can think of
other ways to stay warm, but until then.” He smiles, spreading it out over them
and leaning into Jared’s form.
A soft sigh falls from Jared’s lips as his arms wrap around Jensen, pulling him
close against his chest.
He relaxes against the boy’s chest for awhile, letting a comfortable silence
hang in the air around him. Eventually he turns, tilting his head up so he can
gently trace his lips over Jared’s.
They kiss slowly for a few minutes before the kiss gains heat, Jared shifting
them till he’s half sprawled on top of Jensen.
It doesn’t take long for hands to shift under clothing, pull tugging until
pants and boxers are half tangled around feet, both are panting and gazing with
lust filled eyes at each other. Jensen lets out a hiss as Jared’s hips slide
along his. Heat burns through him as he rocks to meet Jared’s shaky thrusts.
“Fuck,” he growls, gripping Jared’s shoulders and letting his head fall back
against the seat.
Jared thrusts steady against him, cock against cock. Jensen spits into his
palm, prying his hand between them and using the saliva to lubricate their
motions. The pace quickens at this and Jensen’s not sure he can hold on much
longer.
“God Jared, so good…” he groans, arching his hips up to meet each thrust.
At this Jared comes, stilling against him and burying his head into Jensen’s
shoulder with a deep groan.
Jensen follows suit, panting harshly, hand rising to lace into Jared’s hair.
“You know, that was pretty quick, we’re going to have to try it again before I
let you know if I like it or not.”
Jared weakly lifts his head and smiles brightly at him before sealing their
lips together softly.
*
They pull up to Jared’s house a quarter to one, both satiated and smiling
goofily at each other. “Oh, before you go,” Jensen breathes as Jared moves off
his shoulder where he’d been resting.
Jared watches him with a raised eyebrow as he shifts to reach beneath the seat
and pull out a box.
Jensen is blushing when he straightens, offering the object out, “Here. It’s
um… just a Christmas gift.”
Jared’s hand moves to grasp the box, eyes slightly wide as he flips it open. A
soft gasp leaves his lips as he stares down at the ring there. It’s a simple
silver band, nothing too fancy but the inside is engraved with Trust Me. I’m
Yours.
It’s sweet and sappy and Jensen bites his lip because he’s not sure if Jared
will want something so cheesy. “I guess it’s like… a promise ring or
something…” he mumbles because the silence is too much for him to take.
Jared slips the ring from the box, sliding it on his finger and smiling softly.
His hand reaches out to trace Jensen’s cheek before leaning forward to press a
gentle kiss against his lips.
“Thank you Jensen…” he breaths in a faint whisper before sliding across the
seat, opening the door and heading towards the house before Jensen’s brain can
kick start back into gear.
He sits there for a long time afterwards, staring at Jared’s front door, the
words repeat over and over in his head.
***** Chapter 5 *****
Jensen floats quite happily on cloud nine through the following morning, not
even letting his sister’s teasing jabs bring him down. Part of his mind
questioned whether the whole event was just a dream but the other part, the
part that had memorized and replayed it dozens of times in a loop, told him it
was not.
After lunch, which he’s pretty sure was good but can’t remember eating for the
life of him, Jensen meetsSandy at the mall. He’d promised her that he would tag
along for the last of her Christmas gift shopping since Danneel had to work.
She takes one look at his dreamy smile and laughs, “Well someone got laid last
night.”
Jensen shakes his head, “Kind of did but that’s not it.”
“What is it then?” She questions, linking her arm through his as they start
walking through the crowd of busy shoppers.
“I gave Jared his gift last night,” Jensen’s smile grew impossibly wider.
“And he liked it?” Sandy asked when Jensen didn’t continue.
“Oh he did,” Jensen nods, looking brightly at her. “In fact he even said thank
you.”
“He what?!”Sandy screeched coming to a halt as people passing by threw her
strange glances.
“He said, and I quote, ‘thank you Jensen’,” A near hysterical burst of laughter
left his lips as he spun around in a giddy circle. Several people stared and
quickened their paces.
“Oh my god! Oh my god! That’s so outrageously amazing and fantastic!” Sandy
threw her arms around his middle, engulfing him in a tight hug. “Anything
else?”
“No,” Jensen shook his head but the smile held firm. “I know it’s going to take
time for words to start flowing, but god… hearing him say my name was just…” He
trailed off, smiling blissfully at her. With all this smiling he thought it
wouldn’t be long until his cheeks started hurting.
“Aw, I’m so happy for you Jensen!” Sandy rejoined their arms, leading him
towards the Sharper Image store. “Now tell me all about last night, I want all
the juicy details!”
Jensen laughs but starts in on a play by play of the evening’s events - leaving
out the juicy details of course.
Three hours later Sandy had successfully finished questing for Christmas
presents and Jensen had thoroughly described Jared’s various actions,
explaining what each meant and how he had learned the subtleness that was the
other boy. “Do I sound like a creepy stalker who sits outside Jared’s home
watching him through binoculars each night?”
Sandy laughs, “No. Do you sit outside his home?”
“Of course not,” Jensen shakes his head, clearing his throat as they make their
way out of the mall. “But I feel stupid for knowing these things, for spending
almost every waking moment analyzing him. It’s almost like I…” At this he stops
short, something sparking in his mind.
She turns to him, eyes shining brightly, “Almost like you love him?”
Jensen scoffs loudly, taking a few steps forward before stopping again, “I
don’t love him. That’s crazy. I can’t love him.”
“Why not?” Sandy asks, gently tugging his arm to get them moving forward
through the crowd again.
“Because, it’s not logical. I don’t know him. I mean, I know some things but
not the basics. I don’t know his favorite color or movie or food. Hell I don’t
even know the names of his family members! How can you love someone you don’t
know?”
“Is that what you think love is?” Sandy lays her head against his shoulder as
they walk into the parking lot. “Oh my little naive Jensen… love has nothing to
do with knowing what someone likes to eat or watch.”
“No? And what exactly does it have to do with?” Jensen stares down at the top
of her head, directing them towards his car.
Sandy is quiet until they come to a stop, she watches Jensen pull his keys from
his pocket before smiling softly, “When you love someone it’s just them - the
way they look at you, touch you – it’s not about knowing their little facts and
quirks… that can come with time. The feeling though, it’s a deep subconscious
type thing.”
“How can you be so sure?” Jensen slips the key into the lock, turning it but
not reaching for the handle.
“Think of it this way…” Sandy bit her lip, brushing hair behind her ear. “If
you find out Jared’s favorite color is hot pink and his favorite movie is
Legally Blonde are you going to break up with him?”
Jensen bites out a sharp bark of laughter before it dies just as suddenly in
his throat. He’s pretty sure Jared’s not too fond of hot pink or Legally
Blonde, but he understands what Sandy is trying to say. And by admitting that,
he realizes the truth:
He is hopelessly in love with Jared Padalecki.
“Shit,” he breaths, body falling back against the front door of his car.
“If it’s any consolation,” Sandy reaches out and presses a hand against his
arm. “I’m pretty sure Jared feels the same.”
With that she turns, calling goodbye over her shoulder as she heads to her own
car. Jensen watches her drop into the driver’s seat before he opens his door
and slides in. With a soft sigh he allows his head to fall against the steering
wheel. Being in love suddenly feels like a heavy weight on his shoulders that
he isn’t too sure he can hold up.
*
Jensen spends the next three days trying to work up the nerve to drive over to
Jared’s house. But everything feels so different now. The odd thing is nothing
has really changed, Jensen supposes he felt exactly the same about Jared during
their date but he just wasn’t aware of it then. Now he’s sure it’ll be written
all over his face and that makes him feel so vulnerable.
He’s not used to the idea of someone having so much control over him.
It’s Christmas Eve and Jensen sits in front of his computer, pointlessly
clicking through Wikipedia. Previously he’d been moping around the kitchen, but
his mother had sent him away when his sighs and ceaseless pacing started
getting in the way.
“Jensen!” He hears her call from downstairs. He gets up quickly, hoping she’ll
have something for him to do to get his mind off Jared and how very much he
misses him. “Jensen! Come down here please!”
“I’m coming!” He calls in return, jumping down the steps two at a time and
landing in the hallway with a soft thud. “God, where’s the fire?”
Jensen swings around and freezes, eyes landing on his mother at the door. Which
is she is closing behind a shy, smiling Jared.
“Jared,” he grins, walking forward but catching himself before embracing the
boy in front of his mother. A blush crawls up his cheeks and he looks nervously
at the ground. “Hey.”
Jared nods his traditional greeting and Jensen tries not to be disappointed. He
knew Jared wasn’t going to just up and start talking, but he had still hoped…
“Well, Jared its good you came by. Jensen is driving us all crazy. Little love
sick puppy dog,” She pats Jared casually on the arm with a warm smile before
ruffling Jensen’s hair and walking back down the hall to the kitchen.
Jensen’s blush darkens and he quickly looks up to meet Jared’s eyes, “I really
wasn’t like that. She’s exaggerating.”
Jared nods with only traces of a smile, clearly deciding to play along with
Jensen’s defense. His hand moves out to caress Jensen’s arm and he jerks his
head up in the direction of the bedroom.
“Yeah,” Jensen agrees, leading the way up the stairs, heart fluttering rapidly.
The door closes with a click behind Jared and Jensen suddenly finds himself
pressed against the wall, a large hand cupping his cheek as lips move to seal
over his.
He moans deeply, his own hands lacing through Jared’s hair to hold them
together. Lips part as tongues eagerly meet, twirling around and around as hips
rocked against each other. Then Jared is dropping down on his knees, freeing
Jensen’s cock from his pants and boxers before he can even figure out what’s
happening.
“God…” he whispers, hands once more lacing through Jared’s thick hair as hot
lips circle around him. It takes the good majority of his will power to not
thrust up into Jared’s mouth.
The boy is slowly torturing him with long gentle licks up his length, pausing
at the head to lap up the little dots of precum gathering there. Then, just
when Jensen thinks he’s going to die from the pace, Jared is swallowing him
whole.
“Fuck,” he hisses, not fighting back the thrust this time, nearly collapsing
when the head of his cock brushes the back of Jared’s throat. He’s not sure how
Jared learned to deep throat so well but he’s very grateful for it. “God Jared…
so good…” he moans head falling back against the wall.
Jared hums around him, his head beginning to rise and fall in a steady rhythm.
His hands dig into Jensen’s hips, which helps in keeping Jensen standing as he
tumbles closer and closer to the end.
“Shit, Jared I’m gonna-“ He tugs on Jared’s hair as he hits, thrusting up
repeatedly into Jared’s mouth.
A soft whimper falls from his lips as his knees finally give out and he slides
down against the wall, Jared moving so he’s propped over him smiling brightly.
“That was fantastic,” Jensen mumbles, leaning forward as Jared sits in front of
him. “Allow me to return the favor,” he grins, crawling forward to straddle
Jared’s hips and lay him back.
Jared rolls over and Jensen can’t resist biting a few spots along his tanned
neck before crawling down the long body, fingers making quick work of the
zipper and buttons. He drags both the pants and boxers just past Jared’s hips,
eyeing Jared’s cock hungrily.
Wrapping his hand around the base he sucks just the tip in, once more learning
the taste of the boy as he begins a slow steady up and down motion, hand
meeting mouth. It doesn’t take long to learn the pattern that drives Jared
insane.
He moans deeply, reaching out to twist fingers through Jensen’s hair
encouraging him to speed up. Jensen relaxes his throat, allowing Jared to guide
him which is enough to begin a steady build of arousal winding through him
tightly. If he hadn’t just come he’d probably be hard again.
When Jared comes his hands tightened almost painfully in Jensen’s hair, hips
jerking up into his mouth with each long stream of heat hitting the back of his
throat. He just has time to swallow before Jared is tugging on his shoulders,
pulling him up to seal their lips together.
“Missed you…” Jared whispers against Jensen’s lips.
Jensen raises his head to look into Jared’s eyes. What he sees there surprises
him. Hope and happiness but underneath that is fear, steady and strong. It hits
him quite suddenly that Jared is putting everything out on the line, trusting
Jensen unlike he’s trusted anyone in the past two years or maybe ever. He
suddenly feels foolish for all the fears he’s felt in the past few days, “Yeah…
I missed you too.” He smiles brightly.
Jared touches his cheek and they lay against each other for awhile, lips
occasionally brushing as they enjoy each other’s warmth. Eventually they
silently agree to get up off the floor, laughing as they tuck themselves back
into their pants.
The thick of Jared’s palm wraps around his arm, tugging him to the bed. He lays
back against it, pulling Jensen down beside him. Jensen curls against Jared’s
side, his arm slipping across the thick chest, tracing swirling patterns along
the shirt. “Jared… I want you to know I don’t expect you to just start talking
constantly now. Take your time, whatever is best for you okay?”
“I know,” Jared’s voice is hoarse and still barely above a whisper, hand coming
up to cup Jensen’s chin and tilt his head up. They hold eyes for a long time,
Jared pressing several soft kisses along his face before going on, “I’m gonna…
try. I promise.”
Jensen closes his eyes around the warmth circling through him, nodding so Jared
knows he’s heard him and understands.
Jared stays with him on the bed for another hour sharing soft kisses without
saying anything. Then he slides up and Jensen knows he has to go, after all its
Christmas Eve and his family most likely has plans.
Jensen kisses him softly in front of the door to his bedroom before he opens
it, “I’m going to go to the bathroom, then I’ll walk you out okay?”
Jared nods and Jensen hurries down the hall. When he comes back Jared is eyeing
the pictures along the hallway as Mackenzie explains who the people are in each
of them. “See that’s Jensen there. Wasn’t he such a cute kid? Pity he had to
grow up…”
“Mackenzie…” he groans, knowing she’s showing the few baby pictures lined up
there. “Ignore her Jared, she just has boyfriend envy.”
Jared snorts, smiling a thank you at Mackenzie before walking with Jensen down
the steps. He opens the front door for Jared, gently reaching out to touch his
arm. “Come over after Christmas if you want, okay?”
He receives a nod and a bright smile in return. Then just the faint whisper of,
“Bye,” reaches his ears before Jared is heading down the walk.
When Jensen returns to his room there’s a bag on the bed. He walks over to it,
heart already racing as his fingers reach out for it. The tag says ‘Merry
Christmas Jensen. Love, Jared’ and that’s almost enough of a Christmas present
for him. Well, that and the few words spoken previously of course.
Inside the bag he finds a photo album. The binding is black and simple, Jensen
runs a finger over it before flipping it open. On the first page he finds
pictures of trees half covered in leafs, artistically caught at angles that
seem to capture all his favorite things about the season perfectly.
Scanning through the remaining pages he finds pictures of Sandy,Danneel, Chad
and Tom, even some of Jared. There’s a shot of the tree Jared had pressed him
up against and some of the familiar path that they walked home along. And all
of them hold so much thought and meaning behind them that Jensen finds tears
pricking along the rim of his eyes.
Setting the photo album on the nightstand with a faint smile and a brush of
fingers along his eyes, Jensen starts to consider that Sandy might be right
about Jared loving him as well.
*
Jensen receives money from both sets of Grandparents for Christmas and decides
he’s getting a hotel room for New Years Eve. Of course his intentions are only
the purest, he still remembers Jared’s reaction when first asked about sex, but
can’t pass up the opportunity to spend a full night together.
He asks Jared’s opinion on the 26th when the man stops by. “So do you think
it’d be okay? I mean, with your parents and such?”
Jared nods, biting his lip as his eyes flicker from Jensen to the bed and back.
“It doesn’t mean… don’t worry we won’t do anything you don’t want to okay?”
Jensen reassures, palm tracing down along the now familiar jaw line.
The plan is set into motion and it’s not long before the big night. When it
comes Jensen’s not really 100% sure how he made it to Jared’s front porch, but
it’s too late to back out at this point because the door is opening and there
is Jared’s mom.
“Oh hello Jensen, Jared should be out in a minute, come on in,” she swings the
door wide for him and Jensen is mildly surprised at her pleasant greeting. “I
do hope you boys will be safe tonight.”
“We will,” Jensen quickly assures her, wondering exactly what it is she thinks
they will be doing.
“The Murray’s are always setting of dozens of fireworks and I’d hate for
something to happen,” she frowns a little more.
Jensen smiles. Chad’s invitations to his New Years Eve party had come just
before Christmas, he had forgotten about it but of course it was the perfect
alibi. After all, the Padalecki’s knew Chad and his family and Jensen could
easily text Chad and let him know the situation. “Well I plan on just watching
them,” Jensen nods. “I’ll make sure Jared doesn’t attempt any pyrotechnics.”
A loud snort follows Jared into the room, his eyes rolling as he slides his
backpack strap over his shoulder and leans down to press a kiss to his mom’s
cheek. “You boys be safe,” she insists once more.
“We will,” Jensen nods before following Jared out to his car. “So, I’ll just
let Chad know we were there yeah?”
Jared grins at him with a quick head bob before tossing his bag over the seat
and sliding in.
*
The hotel room is nothing out of the ordinary. Just a large king size bed, a
desk with a TV propped on it and a chair tucked under, a table with some
chairs, a room service menu and the two nightstands on either side of the bed.
The bathroom is a blinding white and nothing exciting but it doesn’t stop Jared
from looking around at everything excitedly.
Jensen laughs watching him, throwing his bag down on the bed. “There’s always
something exciting about hotels huh? No matter how plain they are.”
Jared beams at him, flopping onto the bed and bouncing a little up and down.
His eyes shine brightly as he slides to the foot of the bed spreading his legs
a little, reaching out for the man.
Jensen allows himself to be tugged forward, leaning into Jared’s chest and
sealing their lips together softly. “I want to tell you something Jared…” he
whispers, fingers carding through Jared’s hair, smiling as the boy watches him
curiously. “I… I’m in love with you. A lot.”
The blue green of Jared’s eyes hold against his for several long moments and
Jensen feels like he can’t breathe. Like his heart is being squeezed and the
edges of his vision blur uneasily. And then, “I’m in love with you.”
Air rushes into his lungs with a harshness that almost stings. His smile
stretches large before he’s leaning heavy against Jared, lips crashing together
with the heat of the moment. He falls forward onto the bed laying on top of
Jared, hips pressing together and causing each to moan softly into each other’s
mouths.
Jared breaks the kiss, scooting further back on the bed, keeping his eyes
locked with Jensen’s as he starts to unbutton his shirt.
Jensen trails his eyes down, watching the tan flesh come into view before
crawling up Jared’s body, kicking his bag off the bed in the midst of toeing
off his shoes. Jared reaches out to pull up the hem of Jensen’s shirt.
Soon both boys are naked, lying pressed against each other on top of the
blanket as their lips slide and seal together. Tongues fight for dominance and
Jensen moans as their hips rub slick and hot together.
Jared smoothes his hands over Jensen’s chest, holding him down as he begins to
kiss and suck patterns along the flesh. He pauses long enough to leave just a
faint bruise along his collar bone, smiling at his work before gently biting at
a copper nipple.
“Shit,” Jensen hisses, body arching up into Jared’s mouth, hands pushing at his
head. “More please…”
Jared chuckles, already crawling down his body. When he gets to Jensen’s cock
he pauses and Jensen’s just about to beg for more when a firm hand parts his
thighs, moving to slide under his body. Jensen hisses, his body tensing as he
feels Jared’s finger gently twirl around the pucker there.
“Is this…” Jared clears his throat, looking up as Jensen raises his head to
look down. “Is this okay?”
Jensen can only nod, head flopping back as the tip of the finger gently presses
in. A tongue drags up the length of his cock and he groans, forcing himself to
relax so the digit can slide all the way up in.
He’s never done this before. Of course he’s thought about it, considered how
his body might stretch to give Jared access but actually feeling the finger
buried deep inside is surreal. It quite suddenly makes him want more. Want
everything.
And then Jared’s finger presses against that spot he’s only ever heard about
and his vision blurs, his body arching up as he gasps, “Oh fuck…”
Jared smiles before pulling his finger quite suddenly out. Jensen hisses as the
bed shifts, head jerking up to see Jared’s form knelt on the floor by his
backpack.
“Whatcha doin?” He mumbles, hand moving to circle his dripping cock for some
form of relief.
Jared is quickly crawling back on the bed, swatting Jensen’s hand away before
popping open the bottle in his hand, squeezing the liquid onto it. He’s between
Jensen’s legs again in the next moment, thighs spreading wide for him to slip
his fingers between round cheeks.
Once more that pressure builds as Jared slips a finger back in, swirling it a
few times before a second is slowly joining it. Jensen gasps, eyes slipping
closed as hands once dig into Jared’s shoulders.
Jared’s lips slowly circle around the head of his cock, tongue snaking out to
swirl the tip just as the second finger slides full in to the knuckle. It
stings but not enough to really hurt and Jensen finds himself panting and
writhing down onto Jared’s fingers.
A soft chuckle falls from Jared’s lips as he prepares a third finger to slide
in the tight hole. It’s intense and sends bright sparks dancing along Jensen’s
veins and behind his eyes. “Shit Jared… I want you…”
The fingers still and Jared’s head moves up, eyes scanning Jensen’s profile.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Jensen nods, feeling as if he’s never been more sure of anything in his
life.
Jared nods, fingers beginning to scissor and stretch Jensen even as his other
hand moves to flip open the cap of lube once more.
It occurs to him, as fingers pull out and Jared’s body shifts between his legs,
that he’s about to give himself fully to this boy. That, from now on, no matter
what happens Jared will always have some small piece of him.
This makes Jensen’s stomach flutter with nerves and his eyes widen as the tip
of Jared’s cock presses against the ring of muscle. Then there’s a wave of
stinging burn mixed with delicious pressure and Jensen can no longer use his
brain.
“Oh fuck,” he gasps, nails digging into Jared’s flesh as the boy slides further
forward. Jensen marvels the beauty that is Jared’s pleasure laced face. Skin
red, lips pursed, eyes glazed.
“Jensen,” Jared growls when he’s fully sheathed inside. Jensen thinks he’s
really not going to make it very long.
They’re frozen together like this for some time until the sting has completely
faded and Jensen can’t take the waiting any longer. “Shit Jared. Fuckin’ move.”
That’s all it takes to spur Jared into action. He slides almost all the way out
before angling in, tip brushing Jensen’s prostate. The ripple effect that
washes over him causing his hips to move in a high arch. Sweat builds along his
brow as Jared continues the steady, agonizingly slow pave.
Jensen feels like he might drop dead right on the spot but fuck if it’s going
to be before his impending mind blowing orgasm. He circles an arm around
Jared’s neck and tugs him forward, moaning into his ear, “You better fuckin’
fuck me Jared before I take matters into my own hands.”
Jared chuckles turning to brush a kiss along Jensen’s lips, whispering, “Needy
bastard,” before slamming hard into him.
On a normal occasion Jensen would have plenty of retorts for this but any
remaining coherency is lost in the repeated in out of Jared’s cock. The head
brushes that sweet spot over and over as the pace continues to question.
Jensen’s not sure how long this last, it could be seconds or minutes, but it
feels like hours or days, and then the world is suddenly tilting and his
heart’s bursting. He’s coming with a scream of Jared’s name and a declaration
of never ending love. It’s only mildly embarrassing, he considers later, but
easy to write off along with the fact that Jared didn’t even touch his cock and
he came harder than he can ever remember.
There’s only a half dozen short rapid thrusts before Jared stills and a long
moan falls from his lips as he comes. Jensen is awed by the wave of open
emotions filtering across his face. Love, want, hope, fear, desire, pain. He
wishes he could understand them all. Could know what to say to destroy the bad
ones and strengthen the good.
Then Jared is collapsing on top of him, gasping in mouthfuls of air and
pressing tender kisses along his neck. “Perfect,” he mumbles.
Jensen can’t help beaming, hand moving to rub the small of the Jared’s back.
“Speak for yourself.”
Jared snorts in amusement, rolling off Jensen to fall by his side. The room is
hot and sticky but Jared pulls him close against his chest anyway. Jensen
doesn’t mind. He thinks cuddling after sex is a perfect idea, no matter how
sappy he feels it might be.
They lay in silence for some time afterwards and Jensen looses himself in
thoughts. Like what Jared might be thinking. Or how fucking incredible it is
that he’s just lost his virginity, on New Year’s Eve no less. It’s a story for
the books though he figures he’ll keep it to himself regardless.
“Jensen…” Jared finally says into the silence, voice hardly above its usual
whisper and Jensen thinks he could really get used to it’s pleasant timber.
“Yeah?” He rolls onto his side, propping himself on an elbow to look down at
his lover. He smiles faintly and traces a finger up a firm jaw line.
“I really…” Jared clears his throat, looking around the room for a moment
before his eyes once more meet Jensen’s. “I’d like to tell you my story.”
***** Chapter 6 *****
“Are you sure?” Jensen asks for the tenth time. They are sitting at the table,
boxes of Chinese food spread between them.
Jared sighs and nods, “I think… it will help.”
Jensen can only nod at this. Curiosity flaring so brightly in him he’d be lying
if he said he wanted anything more then to know. But the sane, logical part of
his brain keeps pointing out that this is it. He’s about to learn the big deep
dark secret to Jared’s silence and it may very well change everything.
Jensen tries to tell himself that they are strong enough to overcome this
together but he’s not 100% sure and that scares the crap out of him. But if
Jared thinks it’ll help… well Jensen would do anything to help him so he braces
himself for the story.
*
It happened the summer between Jared’s freshman and sophomore year. The
Padalecki’s had rented a cabin for a month on a beautiful lake. Jared wasn’t
really looking forward to going, especially when his parent’s didn’t allow him
to bring any of his friends along for company, but he can’t deny the view is
nice and figures he can at least get a healthy tan.
The house is three levels, separated from the water by a thick patch of trees.
When Jared stands on the balcony outside his room, which is on the top floor,
he can see through the woods to the beach below. Which is precisely how he
first lays eyes on him..
He’s staying two houses down and Jared watches him running along the lake shore
in a pair of shorts and tennis shoes. Sweat glistens off his ripped abs and
Jared finds himself hard in a heartbeat. He’s straight out of a Calvin Kline
ad.
Jared has known he preferred men for a few years now but he’s never done
anything before. Not even kissed. He’s young and naïve and this guy is so very
good looking that Jared can’t help but be mesmerized.
After three days of watching the man jog by, always around 10 am, always alone,
Jared works up the nerve to be on the beach at the same time. His plan is to
appear casual, nonchalant, and though he doubts he’ll be brave enough to say
anything, at least the man will see him as well.
As it turns out, he doesn’t have to be brave enough because the man stops and
says hello. He introduces himself as Tyler Adams and Jared is thrown
speechless, thankfully remembering his name in response.
That’s all it takes really. The next day Jared’s waiting on the beach and when
Tyler arrives he takes Jared’s hand and leads him into the dense trees nearby.
He talks animatedly about New York City – where he’s from – and before Jared
can even process what’s happening he’s being pushed against the thick trunk of
a tree and kissed roughly.
He gasps and mumbles a protest but Tyler just pulls back, laughs and declares,
“I’ve seen you watching me Jared Padalecki. I know you want me. Don’t worry, we
won’t get caught.”
Suddenly Tyler becomes Jared’s world. He doesn’t seem to mind Tyler’s hands on
his shoulders, forcing him to his knees and thrusting a large cock into his
mouth - even if it causes his knees to bleed from the sharp rocks and pine
needles strewn everywhere. It’s completely worth the pain when he listens to
Tyler come. Even though the white hot liquid fills his mouth quickly and he
nearly gags, it’s utterly worth it.
Every single day Jared waits forTyler to come jogging by. They head into the
woods and Jared does exactly as he’s told. “I’m teaching you,” Tyler insists
when Jared asks him about getting a blow job of his own. “You’re such a very
good student.”
This makes Jared blush and he feels grateful for Tyler’s patience. Even if it
means he always leaves their encounters painfully hard and has to take long hot
showers to get some relief.
Jared learns the art of the perfect hand job, the finer points to deep
throating, learns exactly were to touch and lick and suck to make Tyler writhe.
It’s hot and perfect in his mind but eventually has to come to an end.
When Jared tells Tyler his family is going home the next day, Tyler tells him
to drop by. “Come over at 3 pm, I’ll make it worth your while,” he grins before
disappearing through the woods.
Jared is heartbroken to leave. He’s never been in love before but feels this
has to be it. Tyler is perfect and Jared thinks maybe they’ll be able to keep
up a relationship. He only has three years of high school left and people did
the long distance thing all the time.
He’s decided to explain his logic when he arrives at Tyler’s. It’s not easy at
first, Tyler is pressing him hard against the wall and Jared has to shove him
back to spit the words out and pray they make sense.
“Jared,”Tyler looks at him but it’s not with love or hope, its cold and
mocking. “We’re just fucking around. I’m not into pursuing this.”
The words cut at him and Jared feels so stupid for assuming Tyler would be
interested in a kid like him, “But… I love you.” He gives a last sad plea.
Tyler laughs, harsh and bitter. “No, you don’t. You’re just a kid. Now take off
your pants.”
Jared can’t really process anything through the echo of that cold laugh and he
stumbles backwards, legs pressing against the arm of the couch. “Wh- what?”
“I said,” Tyler’s eyes darken and he jerks Jared forward by the waist band.
“Take. Off. Your. Pants.” Each word is hissed, punctuated by fingers
unbuttoning then unzipping.
Before he can even protest, Jared is being forced over and the air is cold on
his back side. Fingers are pushed and Jared looses himself in a blur. Nothing
makes sense beyond blinding pain and hurt and he thinks he should be stopping
this but he can’t. He can’t even fucking breath.
Then it’s over. Tyler’s weight is off him and clothes are rustling. “Shut the
door on the way out,” is the last thing he hears before the man is walking down
the hall and disappearing behind a door.
Jared’s not sure how long he stays sprawled across the couch arm. He’s only
vaguely aware of the distant sound of water running. When he finally pushes
himself up his cheeks are wet and his body aches in ways he’s never imagined.
He feels sick and then he sees it.
A large picture in a frame on the side table. In it Tyler stands proud with a
pretty blonde woman, between them are two little boys and both looks so
exceptionally like their father that there’s really no questioning it.
Jared barely makes it outside before he’s vomiting, falling onto already
damaged knees. He can’t help the sobs that only make the retches more painful.
It’s a sick cycle until there’s nothing left in his stomach.
Nothing left for Jared to do but push himself up and walk home.
*
Jensen can’t talk for a long time after Jared finishes the story. He tastes
bile at the back of his throat and mildly regrets the second helping of sesame
chicken.
Jared had moved to lay on the bed while he spoke and now he sits up, watching
Jensen with tense eyes.
Jensen rises, feeling like he needs to say something because Jared’s not to
blame and he’s not sure Jared knows this. Jensen doesn’t love him any less or
different than before. “Jared…” he whispers, walking forward and reaching out
to caress the firm shoulder.
“So then… I went home,” Jared starts again, clearing his throat and briefly
meeting Jensen’s eyes before gazing back at his hands. “But the whole silence
thing didn’t really start right away.”
“No?” Jensen encourages, sitting beside him. He can feel something changing in
Jared and he knows the man has to finish the story. Almost as if everything
keeping Jared speaking depends on it.
“No,” Jared sighs. “No one was home when I got there. So I showered. I think I
was in there for hours, or at least until the hot water ran out. All I could
think was, I’m gonna have to be normal, I’m gonna have to go out there and face
my family and pretend none of this happened.”
“You didn’t think you could tell them?” Jensen asks, already considering if he
would confess something like this to his own parents.
“How could I?” Jared snorts, the sound somewhere between disgust and anger. “My
parents didn’t even know I was gay. All I kept seeing was those little boys’
faces and if I told… their lives would be ruined. They’d lose their dad. And
besides, I never wanted to see him again. I wouldn’t have been able to handle
facing him in court.”
Jensen understands even though every part of him itches to hunt down this Tyler
Adams and punish him in a different sort of way. Preferably one involving a
baseball bat. “So when did the silence thing begin?” He asks to change the
topic and Jared looks relieved to focus on something else.
“No one asked if I was okay,” he whispers. “They couldn’t see I was hurting. I
sat and watched them laugh and talk about their day on the boat and it was easy
to fade into the background. The next day we drove home. Jeff, my brother, and
Megan, my sister, were both preoccupied with music and books. My parents had
each other and I just kinda… faded away.”
Jensen reaches out to run a hand through Jared’s hair. He can’t believe how
much Jared has to say but think if he’d stayed silent for two years he’d have
some pent up stuff too.
“There were only a few weeks left till school started,” Jared continues,
leaning into the touch slightly. “And my parents went back to work and I just
spent every day reliving what had happened. I hurt, not physically anymore but
everything else just ached. Eventually I figured it was just easier to stay
silent.”
“You never wanted to tell anyone?” Jensen asks.
“Not really. I mean… these people know me… and what happened was so dirty. I
knew they’d all look at me differently. My parents would send me to therapy…
well they did that anyways but they didn’t know why or anything.”
“What made me different?” Jensen can’t help but question.
Jared’s eyes focus on him and he smiles faintly. “You didn’t know me before.
You just kinda randomly appeared and accepted me even though I didn’t talk or
smile or anything like that. You didn’t know what happened and you never begged
me to tell you. I’m not sayingSandy or them did but they all asked at some
point in time. They tried to get it out of me but never did.”
“Well, I did ask Sandy why you didn’t speak,” Jensen offers, not that he wants
to disprove Jared’s words but he wants to be 100% honest about everything.
“I figured, but you still never asked me. Besides the whole mute thing,” Jared
laughs, turning on the bed to fully face Jensen. “Everything changed when I met
you. For the first time in years I felt… alive again. You made me feel like
there was a reason to keep going.”
Jensen’s heart flutters at this and he reaches out to trace Jared’s cheek with
his thumb, “You’re giving me way too much credit.”
“Jensen,” Jared whispers, licking dry lips with a sudden wave of nervousness.
“I’m terrified of how I feel for you. I can’t be hurt again like that… I won’t
survive it.”
“I would never hurt you like that,” Jensen is quick to defend; slightly
offended Jared could even suggest it.
“No, I know you’d never rape me,” Jared sighs running a hand through his hair.
“But you could leave me. You could decide I’m too much drama for you. Things
aren’t just going to be right now you know? I’ve spent two long years building
up walls and I can’t bring them all down in one night.”
Jensen knows this is true. Even if Jared continues openly communicating with
Jensen, everyone else would take time. People will have questions and Jared
might not be ready to answer them. “It’s okay,” Jensen leans forward to press a
small kiss to Jared’s lips. “I’m not going anywhere alright? We’ll get through
this together.”
It’s cheesy and sappy and all the things Jensen normally makes fun of but
recently he finds himself living these moments and loving them regardless.
*
Upon Jared’s request, or pleas really, Jensen follows him inside the house the
next day instead of just dropping him off. They’d spent a few more hours the
night before discussing ways Jared could slowly break away from his silence
until the temptation to touch became too much and they’d fallen into a tangle
together on the bed.
Jared’s family is gathered in the living room watching a movie and Jensen takes
the opportunity to get a good look at Megan and Jeff. Jared had explained that
Jeff was home for Christmas break and therefore this really had to be done now.
The four people look up at them as they walk in and Jensen feels insanely
awkward, but then Jared is clearing his throat and all eyes focus on him.
“I…” he begins, voice barely audible and Jensen watches surprise filter across
everyone’s faces. “I know I’ve been… difficult to live with these past few
years. But I’m trying to change that now. Only I’m not ready to talk about
everything yet and it’s not just going to be fixed right away. And I can’t
promise I’ll talk every day or anything…”
This is mostly the speech they’d practiced and Jensen can’t help smiling when
Jared looks at him for encouragement.
“Well, it’s a start,” Jared’s mother has tears in her eyes, voice choking as
she rises to walk forward and to hug Jared tightly.
Jensen decides to wait on the front porch because it’s obvious they need a
private family moment and he doesn’t want to intrude.
Standing in the chill of January morning he can’t help marvel at the past
twenty four hours. He hadn’t gone to the hotel expecting to learn the truth
about Jared. Hell, he hadn’t even gone expecting to lose his virginity.
However, here it was a brand new year and he felt like a brand new person. It
was so close to perfect that Jensen couldn’t imagine anything better.
“Hey,” Jared’s voice is a soft whisper sending shivers along his flesh and
Jensen turns, smiling.
“They seemed really happy.”
“They are, though I think it’s going to be hard for them not to ask questions,”
Jared laughs, a hand running through his hair.
“Well, just remember you have to be just as patient,” Jensen glances at his
watch out of habit and sighs. “I should probably head home. My mom’s likely to
have a hernia if I’m gone too much longer.”
Jared laughs and leans forward to press a small kiss against his lips, “Okay,
love you.”
“Love you,” Jensen echoes, opening his palm as a piece of paper presses into
it. “What’s this?”
“My phone number,” Jared laughs before turning, heading back inside.
*
School starts again the following Monday, which is fine for Jensen because he
really hates not seeing Jared every day. At lunch he arrives at the table
before his lover, smiling brightly at the group. “Hey guys, how was Christmas?”
Sandy laughs with her usual cheeriness, “Good but obviously not as good as
yours.”
“Spare us any details,” Tom quickly insists, though Jensen can see the
happiness on his face as well. It reassures him, knowing that whatever may
happen when Jared joins them they’ll be happy. He figures if things could go
smoothly with Jared’s family then there was no reason they shouldn’t with his
friends.
“My Christmas was good,” Jensen nods, smiling down at his backpack.
“I got a puppy!” Danneel exclaims with excitement and the conversation shifts
to gifts received and who’s was the best.
The chatter continued to flow even as Jared slid onto the bench beside him.
Jensen’s eyes move up, already smiling in greeting. Jared returns the smile
before leaning towards him and whispering in his ear, “Wish me luck.”
Jensen squeezes a firm thigh in encouragement, eyes moving back to the group to
prepare for what would happen next.
“I think a puppy is way better then a snowboard,” Danneel scoffs at Chad’s
affronted look. “I mean seriously, you can only use a snowboard a few months a
year and you have to replace it if you grow at all. But a puppy… well that’s a
lifelong friend!”
“What sort of puppy did you get?” Jared asks.
Thick and heavy silence follows the question and Jensen takes the opportunity
to observe each person’s reactions. Sandy and Danneel both look stunned for a
heartbeat before breaking into wide, bright smiles. Tom looks knowing, as if he
knew it was only a matter of time before something like this happened. Chad
looks shocked, as if he can’t process what just happened. Jensen thinks that
might be the case because Chad can be a little slow on the uptake sometimes.
“A Yorkipoo,” Danneel answers finally, still beaming at Jared with excited
eyes. “She’s so cute and tiny! I almost lost her in my shoe!”
Jared laughs and Jensen tries hard to imagine a dog so small, “Sounds like the
type of dog I should stay away from. I’d probably sit on her or something.”
Everyone laughs at this, even Chad who looks just as confused as before. Chad’s
laughter dies quickly though as he shakes his head, “Wait, no. We can’t just
let this slide. What the fuck man?”
Silence once more grips the table and Jensen can feel the flinch Jared gives at
the words. “Chad-” he begins in automatic defense for his boyfriend but Jared
holds up a hand to stop him.
“Jensen, it’s okay,” He says softly, sighing and running a hand up through his
hair. “Look, I know there’s a lot for me to explain. But I… it’s just not gonna
happen yet okay? I can’t give you the answers you want right now.”
Chad scoffs, eyes rolling, “Right. So you’re just better now? And we’re
supposed to just be okay with that?”
“Chad!” Sandy hisses, eyes widening a little as Jensen rises.
“Give him a break Chad,” Jensen growls, leaning forward threateningly.
“Fuck off Ackles,”Chad rises as well, meeting his angry eyes. “You can’t just
come in here like you’re the center of the fuckin’ universe. Jared’s our friend
too and we deserve an explanation just as much as you. Even if we’re not
fucking him.”
This causes a ripple of movement across the entire table. Tom rises to clutch
at Chad’s arms as Jared does the same to Jensen. Both boys had been about to
lunge at each other. The girls stand as well, eyes wide with surprise at Chad.
People around them turn at the sudden commotion.
“What’s your problemMurray?” Jared hisses in a low undertone, releasing Jensen
with a gentle squeeze.
“You are Padalecki,” Chad jerks free from Tom’s hands, gathering his things
from the table. “I’ve had enough of your fuckin’ shit and I’m not gonna play
into it anymore. We’ve fuckin’ put up with you for two years. Never made you
changed, we just accepted you ‘cause we’re good friends like that… but I’m done
with it.”
He turns, heading off into the crowd that had begun to gather. Jensen fumes,
eyes blurring with the anger swirling through him. “What the fuck is his
issue?” He spits, looking at the girls for some explanation.
“They were best friends before,” Sandy shrugs, water curling the base of her
eyes. “I guess it’s just been hard for Chad to lose that. And then you come
here and Jared’s suddenly better…” She trails off sadly.
Jensen sighs, turning to ask Jared if he’s okay only to find him missing.
“Shit,” he breaths, heading in the directionChad had disappeared. Jared had
obviously gone after him when Jensen wasn’t looking.
When he does find them, Jared is just catching up with Chad his large hand
wrapping around Chad’s much smaller arm jerking him to a stop. Jensen doesn’t
join them but moves close enough to hear their conversation.
“Chad, what the hell man?” Jared’s voice is laced with pain and Jensen wants to
smack Chad for being such an ass.
“Don’t get mad at me,” Chad hisses, spinning to face him and free his arm. “I
don’t owe you anything!”
“And you think I do?” Jared’s hands falls to his hips and Jensen realizes he’s
never seen Jared angry and he’s is completely unfamiliar with his motions and
stance.
“Yes. You do,”Chad huffs. “I’m you’re… I was your best friend! For our whole
goddamn life I was your best friend! Then you just changed, you left me alone
with no explanation. I tried to be okay with it all but this isn’t okay. You
can’t just be better and expect it all to go back to normal.”
“I don’t expect that,” Jared shakes his head. “Really, I know it’s going to
take time but you have to understand Chad…”
“I can’t understand!” Chad flares, stepping back. “I can’t just fuckin’ be
patient anymore! You told Ackles right? He gets to know and I don’t? I thought
I meant something to you!”
Jared’s sigh is heavy and thick; Jensen desperately wants to charge over there
and giveChad a piece of his mind but knows it wouldn’t help. He aches to take
Jared in his arms and make it all okay.
“Chad…”
“You don’t get it,” Chad shakes his head and steps forward so suddenly it
catches Jared off guard. His eyes widen impossibly large as lips press firmly
to his. Both are frozen in that spot, lips pressed together but not moving.
Jensen watches and knows he should do something. Walk up to them and punch Chad
hard in the face for kissing his boyfriend, but he can’t move. He’s not even
sure he can breathe and it feels like his entire body is being torn in two. The
rational part of his brain is trying to soothe him, insist that Jared is just
shocked and that’s why he’s not pulling back.
Then Jared does take a step back, face flushed and eyes just as wide as before.
“Wha… um… Chad?”
Chad is blushing, a bright pink, sighing as he takes two steps backwards.
“Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have done that but I just… I’ve wanted to. For so
long I’ve wanted to.”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Jared shakes his head, kicking his feet against
the sidewalk. “How long?”
Chad’s laugh is sad and small and when he looks towards the sky Jensen thinks
he might see something wet shining in his eyes, “I dunno. Middle school? But
seriously can you blame me? God I thought you’d figure it out. You were my
everything.”
“Is that why you became so cold when I stopped talking?” Jared whispers. Jensen
feels his legs give, is vaguely aware of collapsing down onto the grass. He
thinks Jared shouldn’t be asking questions like this, knows Jared should be
pointing out the fact that he’s with someone. In love with someone else.
“Yeah,” Chad sighs. “It fuckin’ hurt you know? I thought I just wasn’t good
enough for you anymore. I didn’t get, I don’t get it.”
“God… Chad… it was never you,” Jared insists.
Something clicks in Jensen then. This conversation is not going the way it
should and Jared has no idea he’s listening and watching. So he pushes himself
up and walks forward, clearing his throat.
Both Jared and Chad turn to him with expressions that would most likely define
the phrase ‘deer caught in headlights.’ Jensen looks at Jared first and watches
understanding flash across his face. He doesn’t even have to say anything for
Jared to know that he’s been there the whole time.
“Shit. Jensen,” Jared’s expression turns to panic as he looks between Chad and
Jensen. “Fuck this isn’t right.”
Jensen shakes his head, “No, it’s not. Shouldn’t you be telling Chad how you’re
not interested? How you don’t feel the same? Shouldn’t you be admitting you
love som-” Jensen’s vaguely aware of his voice rising and he stops abruptly.
“Nevermind. You two just… fuck this.”
He’s turning and heading to his car in the next moment. He can hear Jared
calling his name but he doesn’t stop, doesn’t want to hear what Jared has to
say and almost savagely wishes Jared would go back to not speaking at all.
Somewhere inside he knows this isn’t how things are supposed to be and when he
slides into the driver’s seat tears finally prick along his eyes. Jensen sits
in silence, keys in the ignition, eyes watching the clock tick the minutes by.
Finally he starts the car and puts it into drive, his last thought before
heading home is, ‘If Jared loves me, then why didn’t he come after me?’
***** Chapter 7 *****
“I’m an asshole.”
The voice beside him is hoarse with strained emotions but Jensen doesn’t turn.
He snorts, short and harsh. He’s not sure how long he’s been sitting here – on
the curb in front of his house - but the sidewalk beneath him has stopped
feeling so cold and his limbs ache so he assumes it has to have been awhile. He
had decided against going inside, didn’t want his mother to see him cry and was
just beginning to think he was cried out, but tears once more trace down the
streaks on his cheeks and he sniffs loudly.
“Jensen,” Jared sighs, stepping off the curb and crouching down in front of him
in the street.
Jensen quickly turns his face to the right, wanting to be left alone because
everything in him hurts and it shouldn’t feel this way. He’s never been the
sentimental type, never would have let Jared get to him like this before. It’s
doesn’t seem fair that it should be happening now.
“Please say something…” Jared pleads, reaching out to cup thick fingers around
his jaw, turning his head.
Jensen still refuses to meet Jared’s worried eyes but allows his head to be
turned. Softly he whispers, “Go away Jared.”
“No,” Jared shakes his head. “Don’t just give up on us.”
“Excuse me?” Jensen’s eyes move up, allowing anger to flare through him and
taking comfort in its harsh bite. It’s a welcome relief from the sadness,
“You’re telling me not to give up? Am I the one that kissed Chad?”
“You know it didn’t happen that way,” Jared sighs as he falls back into a
sitting position on the hard asphalt.
Jensen lets the air fall between his lips slowly, knowing Jared is right and
the anger dims to a faint burn, “Why… I don’t get why you didn’t tell him about
us right away.”
“He knows about us,” Jared insists.
“So?” Jensen snaps back. “Obviously he didn’t know the full extent because he
wouldn’t have kissed you otherwise and I mean, come on its fuckin’ Chad. Do you
love him?”
“What?” Jared’s eyes widen and he takes a moment to steady himself before
answering, “No, not now.”
“But you did?” Jensen watches as Jared slowly nods his head.
“Maybe. I suppose as much as any 15 year old can feel something so big. Before
everything happened,” Jared’s sigh is soft and pained. Jensen wonders how many
times he’s made a noise like that today.
He feels torn now because how Jared felt about anyone before Jensen came into
the picture can’t really be held against him. To Jensen’s credit though, no one
had informed him that Chad and Jared had once been best friends who could have
loved each other. This whole thing was so out of the blue he felt he had a
certain right to be upset.
“I never knew he felt that way,” Jared exhales loudly pulling his knees up to
his chest. “It really shocked me. Jensen… it’s been an intense couple of days
you know? And I’ve been used to not speaking so words aren’t just on the tip of
my tongue anymore. That doesn’t change the facts though.”
“And what are the facts?” Jensen looks at him, only mildly caring that his
voice sounds pathetic and desperate. He wants all this just to go away, for
Jared to just make it better.
“You know what they are,” Jared smiles faintly, fingers reaching up to brush
along the strong curve of Jensen’s jaw. “I love you. I want to be with you. You
changed me… and maybe I’ve known Chad my entire life but it’s not going to be
that way between us. Too much has changed, I’m not the same person he fell in
love with and I don’t feel the same way about him.”
“And did you tell him that?” Jensen tries to keep his heart from fluttering but
fails and allows a smile to slowly pull his lips up.
“Yeah, that’s why it took me so long to get here. I had to explain…
everything,” the shudder that ripples through his body tells Jensen that Jared
means everything. The desire to punchChad seers up in him again.
“Fucking Chad,” he growls.
Jared laughs, pushing himself up and holding out a palm to pull Jensen up as
well, “Don’t worry, he felt pretty shitty after I told him. I think he’ll back
off now.”
“Yeah because he’s gotten his way. He didn’t have to be such a fuckin’ baby
about it,” Jensen steps into Jared’s space, tilting his head up.
“Let’s not talk about Chad anymore, okay?” Jared smiles down at him before
leaning forward to seal a firm kiss against his lips.
*
Jensen runs into Chad the next morning. Or more precisely, Chad is waiting
against his locker, staring down at his sneakers. He looks so unlike his usual
cocky self that Jensen’s steps falter slightly. He can pretty much figure out
why the man is waiting for him and isn’t completely sure he is up to the
conversation.
“Hey,” Chad looks up when Jensen finally stops in front of him. Jensen itches
for something to do so he doesn’t have to look at the blonde.
“You’re on my locker,” He gestures and Chad steps to the side so Jensen can
reach out to spin the combination lock and pull the metal door open.
“Look, I’m sorry about yesterday,” Chad jumps right into it, which Jensen’s
mostly grateful for because if they are going to talk about it – which it
appears they are – he’d rather skip the pleasantries.
“Yeah, okay,” Jensen nods, staring at the books on the top shelf of his locker
and trying to remember what classes he had today. New schedules sucked as it
was, havingChad as a distracting buzz by his ear didn’t help.
Chad sighs, flopping back on the locker next to him, “I didn’t mean to just
kiss him like that you know? I guess I was just thrown by everything.”
“Yeah, seems everyone was,” Jensen finally grabs his Biology book, slamming the
metal sharply and barely concealing the smirk at Chad’s flinch.
“Dude come on, can’t we just let it go now? I apologized,” Chad huffs and
Jensen thinks he sounds like a whiney toddler but doesn’t point it out.
“In case you haven’t noticed, you’re the one who’s dragging it out. It’s done
and over with and as long as you keep your hands off my boyfriend there’s
nothing to worry about,” Jensen smiles tightly at him before walking down the
hall towards his new classroom, not needing to look back at the flush on Chad’s
cheeks to know it’s there.
*
After this life returns to normal, or as normal as it gets in high school. The
days start passing in blurs and Jensen finds it easy to lose track of them.
Which is exactly why Sandy’s question catches him so off guard he sprays soda
across the lunch table out his nose; luckily no one is on the other side and
Sandy is the only witness to the incident, but it burns enough to bring tears
to his eyes.
“Excuse me?” He blinks back the liquid, reaching for her napkins to clean up
the mess.
She’s laughing and watching him with a knowing gaze, “Let me guess… you
forgot?”
“I’ve been busy,” He defends, looking around wildly at the red heart
decorations lining the walls he hadn’t really noticed before. “Crap, what day
is it?”
“The 12th,” She reaches out to pat his arm. “Don’t worry, you still have time
to plan something. Has Jared mentioned it at all?”
Jensen thinks back to their past few conversations. Maybe Jared’s forgotten
about the dreaded holiday too. Or maybe he doesn’t think they should celebrate
it because really, it’s just a day dreamed up by the card company’s right? “I
don’t remember him mentioning it.”
“Well it’s your guys’ first Valentine’s Day so you should probably do something
special… any ideas?” She’s smirking now and Jensen thinks she’s far to amused
for his liking.
“Sandy, you’re a great girl mostly but sometimes I just want to slap you,” he
states shaking his head. She grins brightly in response. “Fuck, what am I going
to do? Should I buy him something? God I hate the gift buying thing. Can’t I
just do the chocolate thing?”
“You don’t have to do anything,” Sandy points out. “Really, it’s what you want
to do. You know, it’s the thought that counts.”
Jensen knows this is true but doesn’t say anything else because Jared is now
sliding onto the bench beside him, eyes traveling to the soda laced napkins,
“Jensen… did you and the soda get in a fight again?”
Sandy giggles as Jensen shoves against Jared’s arm. She gathers up her things
and stops to give Jensen a pointed look, “Well I’ll see you boys later. Have
fun!”
Jared watches her go before looking back at him, “What was that about?”
“Jared,” Jensen turns to him. “Have you made any plans for Friday?”
Jared’s face lights up in delight, “Oh so you did remember? I was wondering if
you knew what day it was. I was going to mention it.”
“Of course I remembered,” Jensen fights off the blush at the lie but at Jared’s
knowing look he figures it’s shinning on his cheeks. “Okay so maybe not. I’ve
never cared before you know? So did you make plans or anything?”
“Well… I thought you could come over for dinner,” Jared worries his bottom lip
between his teeth and Jensen kind of hates when he does that because it makes
resisting the urge to kiss him very hard. He has to tear his eyes away to
understand as Jared continues, “Then I thought we’d play it by ear. Maybe see a
movie. Or I could kick your ass at bowling again.”
“I can only handle the ego beating so often,” Jensen points out. “But we’ll
figure something out. Only, let’s not do the gift thing okay? Because buying
gifts is hard and it’s not even a real holiday anyways.”
Jared laughs at this, throwing an arm around Jensen’s shoulders and leaning in
to press a kiss against his cheek. “Ah Jensen, that’s what makes you so
special!”
“My cynicism and dislike for Valentine’s Day?” Jensen arches his eyebrows,
leaning into his lover’s form.
“Something like that,” Jared presses his nose into Jensen’s hairline, inhaling
softly as his arm tightens around Jensen’s form.
It’s in these moments that Jensen feels like all the pieces to the puzzle have
fallen into place. Everything in the world might still be moving on and things
are constantly changing but he savors the moments when it feels like it’s just
them. It’s perfect and he knows he’s blessed to have the chance to experience
it.
“Come on loser,” he clears his throat, pushing up from the table. “I’m gonna
get a detention if I’m late to class again.”
Jared laughs and rises to follow him towards their classrooms.
*
Friday night Jensen arrives exactly on time like the proper gentlemen he was
raised to be. He’s assuming Jared’s parents have dinner plans, since Jared had
said they’d be eating at his place, so he’s mildly surprised when Mr. Padalecki
answers the door in casual jeans and a t-shirt.
“Hey Jensen, come on in,” he greets cheerfully, door opening wide and Jensen
steps inside.
“Evening Mr. Padalecki,” he nods with a polite smile.
“Please, call me Jerry,” the man insists and Jensen thinks he’ll never feel
quite comfortable being on a first name basis with Jared’s parents.
He doesn’t point that out though and instead takes a hesitant step in the
direction of Jared’s room. “So, I’ll just…”
“Jared’ll be out in a minute or two,” Mr. Padalecki rests an arm on his
shoulder and guides him towards the living room couch. “So where’d you move
from son? What do your parents do for a living?”
Jensen’s completely thrown by this turn of events. Over the past few weeks he’s
only seen Jared’s family a couple of times. They’ve always greeted him politely
but never attempted to get to know him, even if Jensen could feel their
searching eyes each time.
He hadn’t asked Jared what details he’d provided to his family and Jensen had
the gut feeling they didn’t know about their relationship. It never really
bothered him, wasn’t like he needed their approval, but Jensen knew the longer
Jared put off coming out, the harder it would be.
With the direction and curiosity of the current conversation Jensen couldn’t
help wondering if Jared had finally taken that step.
“Dad, enough with the third degree,”’ Jared’s laugh follows him into the room
and Jensen looks up with relief.
“Just being friendly,” Mr. Padalecki shrugs with a faint smirk. It’s quiet in
the room for a few moments before Jared gives his father a pointed look. “Oh
right. Well, I’ll just go see if your mother needs any help.”
Both boys watch him disappear out the room before Jared turns to Jensen with a
bright smile, “Hey. Sorry about that, parents can be a little much.”
Jensen casually shrugs, pretending he isn’t as unnerved as he really is, “So,
are we going out somewhere?”
“No, we’re eating here,” Jared steps forward, reaching out to grasp Jensen’s
hand in his own and place a light kiss on the tip of his nose.
Jensen’s eyes widen, “Uh… your family?”
“They know,” Jared smiles, squeezing Jensen’s hand reassuringly.
Jensen wants details, now, but Mrs. Padalecki is hollering from the kitchen
that dinner is ready and Jared is tugging him down the hall towards the dining
room.
It’s not as awkward as he imagined it might be. Not that he had imagined having
dinner with Jared and his family, but really it’s not too bad. Jensen quickly
learns Mrs. Padalecki is an amazing cook. Which he comments on around a
mouthful of potatoes.
“Well thank you Jensen,” she beams brightly at him. “My children are never so
thoughtful.”
“Brown noser,” Jared grumbles. Everyone laughs and Jensen finds himself
relaxing into the easy flow of the family.
He’s happy to see that Jared’s parents seem to have accepted them as a couple.
He’s thrilled when Jared’s leg presses flush against his own. It’s not exactly
a conventional Valentine’s dinner, but Jensen thinks he could get used to it.
“So Jensen, have you thought about what you’d like to do after graduating?”
Mrs. Padalecki asks.
Jensen’s mind flashes to a shared apartment, him and Jared making Ramen in a
tiny kitchen where their hips brush as they move around each other. Playing
house around work and college. It’s the first time he’s really given it thought
but he’s not too surprised at the image he pulls up. “Well, college I suppose,
though I haven’t decided on a major yet.”
Jared’s watching him curiously and Jensen wonders if Jared has visions of small
one bedroom apartments also.
“Well no need to rush,” Mrs. Padalecki advises. “You don’t have to know a major
right away to start school. Jared’s planning on going in undeclared, aren’t you
sweetie?”
A faint blush crawls up Jared’s cheeks and Jensen smiles fondly, “Yeah. But I’m
just going to community college. You know, move out, get a job, experience the
real world and all that.”
Jensen smiles brightly at this, “Yeah, sounds about right to me.”
They share a look and Jensen knows they both have the same image in mind.
Normally it might scare him, the idea of spending forever with someone, but
when it comes to Jared he can’t imagine anything else.
*
Jensen barely pulls the keys from the ignition before Jared’s hands tighten
around his clothes and he’s being pulled across the seat onto his lover’s lap.
A small ‘oompf’ leaves his mouth with a rush of air before lips press hard and
demanding against his own.
They kiss like this for some time, Jensen adjusting his legs to comfortably
straddle Jared’s. Large hands come up to clench in Jensen’s hair. They both
moan when Jensen rocks forward and their cocks brush through two layers of
denim.
“Backseat?” Jensen gasps, jerking back from the kiss for much needed oxygen.
Jared nods, eyes glazed with lust, and pushes Jensen quickly off his lap,
already sliding out the passenger door.
Jensen opts for flopping over the seat, smiling brightly when Jared climbs in
beside him and chuckles. “Funky monkey,” he grumbles, reaching out for Jensen
once more.
“You love it,” Jensen mumbles against his lips, hands sliding down to tug at
the hem of his shirt.
“True,” Jared admits, leaning back to allow the fabric to be lifted up and over
his head before ridding Jensen of his own shirt. “So lucky to have you,” Jared
mumbles as he tugs Jensen once more onto his lap and traces kisses along a well
defined collarbone.
“Damn right,” Jensen’s voice is a breathy moan and he arches up into each of
Jared’s gentle caresses.
“Gonna fuck you,” Jared whispers against a copper nipple before his tongue
darts out to circle it several times.
Jensen groans, heat flaring through him as his fingers move towards Jared’s
belt buckle, “You think so huh?” He tries for cocky but thinks it sounds a
little too desperate.
“Know so,” Jared insists, large hands easily unfastening Jensen’s pants.
Jensen allows himself to be turned and pushed onto the seat, pants and boxers
pulled off at a frenzied pace. He pants heavily as Jared’s hands to spread his
thighs apart then disappear for a brief moment in which Jensen hears the
familiar pop of a bottle opening.
“Actually,” Jared continues as a thick finger gently circles Jensen’s tight
hole. “I’ve got a better idea.”
Jensen gasps as the finger pushes inside and he thinks he’ll never get used to
Jared taking him like this. It’s more intense than anything he’s ever felt. The
fingers curl gently inside him, searching until it brushes just the right angle
and sparks dance along Jensen’s skin.
“I’m gonna get you nice and ready,” Jared breaths, shifting to slip another
finger inside Jensen and lean up and over the panting man. “Then do you know
what you’re gonna do?”
Jensen can’t see straight, let alone think and he would like to tell Jared this
but the addition of a third finger and the constant brush to his prostrate
renders him completely speechless. He decides the next best thing is to shake
his head, which he does with heavy moans and wordless pleas.
Jared spends several long moments stretching Jensen, scissoring his fingers
wide and pressing them deep inside. Then he’s pulling back, arching hips off
the seat to slide his own jeans and boxers down.
Jensen props himself up on an elbow, the world spinning slightly in the dizzy
haze of lust surrounding him and watches Jared slip a condom on, rubbing lube
over the firm, hard cock. He can’t help but whimper as he thinks of Jared being
buried in him.
Then Jared turns dark eyes to him, wrapping two strong hands around his arms
and half dragging, half lifting him onto his lap. Jared breathes in the heavy
air between them, “You’re going to straddle me, slide down onto my cock, and
ride me.”
Jensen moans, already readjusting so he can lift his hips up. Jared’s hands
grasp his waist and he helps Jensen do precisely what he said. Jensen can feel
Jared slowly fill him, feel the slight burn and stretch before Jared’s buried
fully and he thinks he might die from the perfection of it.
“Holy fuck,” Jared breaths, head falling into the crook of Jensen’s neck.
“Fuckin’ move Jen. Fuck… so good.”
Jensen lets out a breathy chuckle, using the muscles in his thighs to rise up
just a little then slide back down, “Such language Jay.”
“Shut the…” Jared hisses, hands clenching tighter on Jensen’s waist. “Fuck up.”
Another soft chuckle is cut off from Jensen’s lips when Jared suddenly lifts
him up, the tip of his cock just barely inside him before slamming down hard.
Jensen moans loudly, nails digging into Jared’s shoulders as the action is
repeated.
It doesn’t take long for Jensen to feel the familiar tingles of his impending
orgasm. His thighs are quivering with each push up, slam down, and Jared’s
biting hard enough along his neck Jensen is sure he’ll have marks to show for
it. Which he thinks is incredibly fucking hot and it adds to the intensity of
the moment.
“Shit Jen,” Jared gasps, sweat dripping along his forehead, face flushed with
exertion. “So fuckin’ good… gonna come…”
“Me too,” Jensen echoes, clenching muscles around Jared’s cock to push him
along because he’s not sure he can last more than a minute or two more and he
wants them to hit together.
“Love you,” Jared breaths.
Jensen comes in white hot jets against Jared’s chest, moaning low in his
throat. Then Jared is still beneath him, fingers digging into his hips as he
comes as well.
They are both hot and sticky with sweat, panting heavily as they float down
from their joint orgasms. Jensen falls limply against Jared’s chest, not caring
about the sticky mess pressing into his skin.
“Fucking perfect,” Jared mumbles, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of Jensen’s
head.
“Yeah,” Jensen agrees, unable to muster up the energy to say much more.
Jensen thinks it would be nice to just stay like this forever, joined together
as one, but eventually his legs begin to protest and his body has calmed enough
he begins to feel the chill of the February night. So, with a heavy groan, he
lifts himself off Jared and flops beside him.
They clean up wordlessly, comfortable enough with each other to no longer have
to fill the post orgasm silence. Jared helps him wipe dry come from his chest
with the wet naps they’d brought just for this purpose and Jensen returns the
favor.
After they are both dressed Jensen pulls out the blanket from under the front
seat. Jared turns to lean against the door, spreading one leg out and dropping
the other against the floor board so Jensen can lie between them. Jensen
spreads the blanket across their bodies and relaxes into Jared’s firm chest.
“I’d like to spend forever with you,” Jared remarks so casually that Jensen
can’t help but smile. It seems just like Jared to catch him off guard with a
confession like this. Jared is only too good at surprising Jensen.
“Oh yeah? So you want to ‘go to college, move out, get a job, experience life’
only with me?” Jensen smiles as his fingers lace between Jared’s and he feels
the cool of the ring there. He can hardly believe how much had changed since
that night, not too long ago, when Jared had said his first words to him.
“Yes, definitely,” Jared’s voice is full of confidence and he presses another
firm kiss on top of Jensen’s hair.
In this moment Jensen pretends he can see flashes of their future. Maybe they
will both have successful careers, get married, even adopt a few kids. Maybe
the world will work out just like those chick flicks and Jensen will get his
happily ever after with Jared Padalecki. After all, their story was the stuff
of fairy tales.
Or maybe not.
Either way, Jensen decides he’d like to stick around to see how it works out.
And that’s enough of a happily ever after for him.
The End
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!