Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/12622140.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      No_Archive_Warnings_Apply, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      British_Actor_RPF, Spider-Man:_Homecoming_(2017)
  Relationship:
      Tom_Holland/Ryan_Reynolds, Tom_Holland/Harrison_Osterfield
  Character:
      Ryan_Reynolds, Tom_Holland_(Actor), Harrison_Osterfield
  Additional Tags:
      RPF, Semi-Public_Sex, Rough_Sex, Unhealthy_Relationships, Alternate
      Universe_-_Normal_Life, So_they're_not_actors, Tom_is_seventeen, Older
      Man/Younger_Man, First_Time, Anal_Sex, Humor, i_guess?, Sad_Ending
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-11-10 Updated: 2018-03-18 Chapters: 3/4 Words: 12741
****** Small, Cold Towns ******
by Narryfavoritejiall
Summary
     It started as a pristine and uncorrupted —Even, innocent crush. Just
     pure admiration and idolization towards the older man. But, soon it
     turned subverted and erotic, a guilty pleasure that he got whenever
     he thought of him.
Notes
     I found myself liking this ship and I realized that there aren't
     enough fics in this fandom, so let's change that!
     English isn't my first language and I'll accept constructive
     criticism:)
     Warnings: underage sex, underage drinking and unhealthy
     relationships.
     That being said, hope you enjoy!
See the end of the work for more notes
***** The Beginning *****
He was amazed since the first day that he saw him. With the big boots, thick
jacket and that old and worned out beanie that pissed Tom off every time he saw
him wearing it. He still remembers his fingers actually twitching at wanting to
touch when he stared for too long at the blond beard with a few grey hairs on
it —God, the man could be his father. That thrilling thought made him shiver at
the affirmation when his dad made Ryan introduced himself shortly and even
bitterly at all of the co-workers. Tom stood quietly in the corner of the small
working place as he listened to that tall man speak lowly, his own stomach
clenching at something his didn't recognized.
 
"What has gotten into you, boy?" 
 
His father asked one day when Tom keep finding an excellent excuse for each day
of the week to be at his dad's work and 'help' in the making of the wood. 
 
He wanted to be present everyday, just to see Ryan taking the heavy clothes off
until he was in a thin white shirt as he went from side to side to cut and
carry the wood away. Because —God damn that ridiculous Canadian man with the
big arms that decided to stay in a small English town that Tom was now starting
to like.
 
Tom begin sitting in his dad's office, to have the glass as protection and just
to fool his mind into thinking that no one could tell that he was staring; when
his face was almost becoming one with the window because at how close he kept
standing and Tom decided to start sitting in the corner, in that old and
uncomfortable chair, but the view was his only reward, mostly when Ryan started
noticing him and smirking just a bit when Tom was caught staring, he would turn
around with red cheeks and a racing heart.
 
The first thing that he would do after school was to eat in the small cafeteria
and take the bus to his father's work. The rivers and lakes were starting to
freeze and snow was starting to form in the edges of the streets and in the
'stop' signs. He was starting to wear his thickest jacket that he hated the
most, but it was the only one that prevent him form sneezing to much and
shivering. 
 
Noise, yells and laughs always welcomed him when he entered the large workshop.
He has grown used to the scraping of the cutting machines, the handsaws
grinding against wood and the hammers hitting the metallic nails. Tom used to
put on his earphones and  and turn in circles in his dad's leather chair to
distract himself from the constant noise, but now he barely notice it with his
eyes focused on Ryan.
 
The first time that Ryan actually spoke a word to him and looked at him in the
eyes for more than four seconds was when Tom was leaning in a wall, hot
chocolate in hand, the one that the workers brought and gave him along with
cookies that one of the wifes cooked. He was eating and drinking foolishly,
with distracted bites and sips as his eyes traveled from the small t.v in the
wall to the blond man; he was oblivious at his obvious gaze and he jumped
slightly and dropped half of his ginger cookie when a single whistle was thrown
at his way and hazel eyes were looking at him up an down.
 
"Kid!"
 
"Huh?" Tom turned around and then pointed at himself when the other was still
looking at him.
 
"Yes, you. C'mere, kid." 
 
And —Holy shit. Was this really the moment that his secret crush was choosing
to speak a word to him. Now? Now that he had crumbles in the corners of his
mouth and chocolate all over his teeth? Tom felt his cheeks getting hot and he
took off his beanie as he started walking towards the man that was still
looking at him with a funny stare, plump lips pursing and eyebrows frowning a
bit when Tom got close enough until he could see the sweat on his forehead. The
boy coughed and looked away when Ryan straightened and dropped a thin wood
plank im the working table.
 
"Why are looking so scared, boy?" He nodded at him, "I ain't gonna hurt ya."
 
Tom stuttered slightly and shook his head, "No —I don't— I'm not scared."
 
"Good," The older man grinned and Tom found himself stretching his lips just a
bit —His eyes averted towards the uncovered arms that he has been looking from
a far and now his chest felt like clenching when he looked quickly at the small
scars and brown hairs; he looked up quickly when the other coughed slightly.
 
"You called me, sir?" He asked and started to shift his feet in nervousness.
 
"I need your help—" Ryan frowned and pointed at him, then asked, "Thomas,
right? You're Dominic's son, yeah?"
 
"I —uh— is actually just Tom," The boy gulped and nodded.
 
"Okay, Just Tom," Ryan grinned and slapped his shoulder, "You're willing to
help me," He affirmed.
 
"Yeah, sure," Tom shrugged, "In doing what?" 
 
"Just hold the end of the wood, kid," Ryan sighed, "The other assholes are too
busy watching the 'football' game and eating —And," He pointed with a finger at
the wood laying on the table, "This fucking thing keeps falling off every time
I try to cut though it." 
 
The boy covered his mouth with his fingers and giggled quietly. Ryan smiled
slightly, eyes flicking quickly up and down, "You're gonna drink that, kid?" He
pointed at the small cup in his hand. 
 
"No," Tom shook his head and rolled his eyes, "And, I'm not a kid." 
 
The blond man raised his eyebrows, "You're aren't?" He grabbed the cup from his
hands and took a big gulp. Tom stood still, lowering his hand and watching the
other finishing the hot chocolate quickly, throat moving up and down and jaw
clenching; Tom coughed and looked away for a second with tainted cheeks. Ryan
winked at him and placed the cup in the table, "How old are you then, Tom?"
 
"Seventeen," The boy said, "And you, sir?" 
 
"Oh, you don't wanna know that," Ryan chuckled and motion with his hands for
Tom to grab the end of the wood plank, "And, stop calling me sir, kid. I'm
already old —Do not make me feel older," He raised his eyebrows and pointed at
him before grabbing the handsaw and wood, "Hold tight." 
 
"You're not old —Well, you don't look that old," Tom grinned, leaning half of
his body on the wood to stop it from moving too much, he watched the man
started to cut through the material roughly, making an screeching sound. 
 
The blond man gave a sarcastic laugh, he quoted, "I don't look that old." 
 
"Your grey hairs gives it away." 
 
Ryan gave him a distracted gaze before going back to look at his hand cutting,
he chuckled quietly, "You're already getting out of your comfort zone, huh,
Tom?" 
 
He looked down fast and shook his head, he cringed, "That's not what—"
 
"Hey," Tom looked up again when the movements stopped and he found the man
smiling at him, "It's ok, kid. Stop worrying your pretty little head over
there." 
 
The boy smiled widely.
 
"In fact —It's nice to hear Dominic's kid say something other than 'Yes, dad.'
'No, dad.' and 'Bye, dad.'" Ryan said in a mocking voice.
 
"I don't talk like that," Tom rolled his eyes playfully.
 
"Yes, you do," The man widened his eyes and raised his eyebrows, "I don't even
have to look up from the damn wood when you arrive, saying hi to everyone with
that squeaky voice of yours," He chuckled.
 
"I'm still growing!" The boy defended, "My voice will change." 
 
"Maybe —But, I like it though," Ryan shrugged, smiling when the other blushed,
"It's kinda intriguing. You are kinda intriguing, kid," Tom looked down with a
smile and played with the cracks of the wood, "Standing behind the king's glass
and looking at your surroundings like they're the best goddamn thing."
 
"I don't—" 
 
"It's ok, boy. I like it when you look at me doing my gracious work." 
 
Tom almost gasped and run away with warm ears, he stood pale and still but then
Ryan started laughing, "What—"
 
"I'm messing with you, Tom," The man shook his head, grabbing a nail from the
table and throwing at him, "Lighten up, come on." 
 
The boy sighed and threw the nail back at him, "What a humor you have." 
 
"I'm Canadian, what did you expected?" Ryan raised his arms. Tom smiled slowly
when the other didn't look away from his direction, his stomach clenched at
something unknown when Ryan observed him with an intended glance, he mumbled,
"You're a funny kid, Tom. Now, let's get back to work!"
 
-
 
 Since the first time that they talked Peter got rid of all the prejudices
against the man. He remembers being intimidated and even scared whenever he
thought about him or look at him. He used to get so nervous when his father
asked him to take something to him or tell him something, mostly when the man
would barely look at him and just nod shortly before going back to work. Tom
used to think that Ryan didn't liked him, even though whenever he found him
staring he would smile a little and wave at Tom, before laughing at his red
face and body scurrying away from the corner and into his dad's office; that
was the only kind interaction they would have until that day that he asked for
his help.
 
But, his heart warmed in happiness when Ryan started saying his whenever he
walked into the workshop and smiling more often at him. Tom watched him —Of
course, he watched him. He watched him when it was break time and all the
employees would gather in the tables to eat and talk loudly. Tom started
gaining hope when each day that passed Ryan would be already looking at him
from a far and then turning around to laugh with his mates. 
 
The help in cutting the wood was often and Tom wasn't stupid enough to not
notice that the other called for his help even when he didn't need it —Like
that time that Ryan was obviously not struggling with his assignments and
called 'kid!' for Tom to come over and that time Ryan let him cut the wood not
only held it, staying close behind him that only made the boy shuddered
secretly at the way Ryan was telling him what to do and sometimes he lean on
his back slightly to show him how to hold the saw. 
 
Tom went home that night and squeezed his legs together to force his hand to
not touch himself.
 
It started as a pristine and uncorrupted —Even, innocent crush. Just pure
admiration and idolization towards the older man. But, soon it turned subverted
and erotic, the guilty pleasure that he got whenever he thought of him was
present when Tom started waking up with morning woods, painfully pressing
against the elastic band of his underwear and belly. He ignored
them, god, he tryto ignored them. Not even a freezing shower, disgusting
thoughts or pinching his arms could make them go away; not when he couldn't
stop thinking Ryan ans his big arms and breath against his neck. He would end
up turning on his stomach and rubbing his cock in the soft sheets, digging his
face in the pillow and biting the fabric to silence his sighs and whimpers —For
fuck sake, his parents where downstairs having breakfast.
 
Ryan always was in the dark of his mind when he closed his eyelids and he
couldn't help when he gave a little hidden gasp and came with his legs tensing
and hands gripping the sheets. Tom stood up with trembling legs and rosy cheeks
signaling embarrassment; he cleaned his underwear in the bathroom sink quickly
when his mom called him to get breakfast.
 
The things that the older man could do to him where always on Tom's fantasies. 
 
Those fantasies that came when he couldn't sleep late at night, when he was at
the boring class of chemistry in school or when he was looking at Ryan
make that face when he was concentrated that drove Tom crazy with the scrunched
eyebrows, parted mouth and clenching jaw; God, he liked to imagine that the man
would make that face when he has Tom bend over the work table or what it would
be like to get on his knees and do what he was learning when he watched the
porn videos under his covers and with a heart beating fast—God, just his
fantasies.
 
Because a —Hey, Ryan. Could I maybe suck your dick in the employees
bathroom?— was a goddamn No-no. 
 
Tom found himself falling for something -someone- that he thought that he
couldn't have a chance, because there was no fucking way that a man twice his
age would look down at a kid that was obviously too immature and childish to
actually talk without stuttering or look at the man in the eyes without
blushing. But, the expectation and hope came unexpectedly just when Tom's
birthday was close to come and he was planning to drink secretly cheap vodka
with Harrison and his friends.
 
He felt himself arriving to fool's paradise when for the first time that he saw
Ryan somewhere that wasn't his dad's shop. Tom was walking in the sidewalk,
hoodie all the way up to his head and jacket tight around him, his scarf was
around his neck, but all that protection from the cold seemed like it wasn't
working when the freezing wind and small dropes of snow were hitting his face
constantly as his hide his hands inside his pockets, he was making his way over
to the subway station that was two blocks away when he heard a loud honk and a
car started parking beside him slowly. 
 
And, now —His parents have always told to not speak with strangers on the
streets, but this was no damn stranger. Ryan's face came visible when the
window of the truck rolled down and Tom breathed in quickly and stopped dead in
his track.
 
"Tom." 
 
"Hey," The boy nodded once when he refused to pull his hands out of the warmth
of his jacket, he looked at the hazel eyes and smile just a little.
 
"What are you doing here walking alone with this fucking weather?" Ryan asked
with a confused expression. 
 
"Was on my way home," Tom shrugged, "I just came from a friend's house." 
 
"Right," The older man asked, after a few seconds of silence, he spoke and
waved his hand, "Well, hope in, kid. It looks like the weather is gonna get
worse."
 
The boy looked at his side, contemplating and hesitating —Jesus, Ryan Reynolds,
his dad's employee and the guy that he has been wanking for over a month was
offering him a ride home? —Fuck yes. He nodded quickly and run towards the
other side of the old truck; the door squealed and it was heavy on his hands
when he struggled to open it, his jaw trembled and he knew that his lips were
probably blue from the cold. Tom sighed when the man noticed and turned on the
heater.
 
"Here," Ryan said as he started the car and grabbed the jacket that was in
between them, "Take it. I don't wanna explain my boss why his son died of
hypothermia."
 
"Thanks, Ryan," He mumbled shyly and took it with shaky hands.
 
"You're heading home right?" 
 
"Yeah." 
 
"You live close to your pap's shop right?" The blond man asked.
 
"Like a block away, yeah," Tom nodded.
 
"Look," Ryan nudged his arm and then pointed outside the foggy window, "The
weather is turning shittier by the minute and I can't really see when the sun
is going down."
 
The boy nodded and looked outside his window, "It's snowing more." 
 
Ryan cleared his throat, "My place is not far from here, we can hang there for
a bit while the sky and streets clear for a bit," He looked at him, "You ok
with that?"
 
Tom turned his head rapidly around and looked at the man with wide eyes, his
mouth let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding and he nodded shortly
and skeptically, "Sure —Cool, thanks."
 
"Your parents would be ok with that?" The older man raised his eyebrows,
"Because, I don't really wanna look like some perv—"
 
"No! —I mean," He cleared his throat, "It's fine, really. I'm gonna text them
and tell them that I'm still in friend's house."
 
"You sure? We can take a risk and drive you home—"
 
"Ryan," The boy placed an hand on the others arm, he held his fingers for a few
seconds on the strong flesh and then retrieved it with a racing heart, "It's
ok. Besides, I don't feel like going home just yet. I have to clean my room,"
He cringed. 
 
"Oh, Lord —The teenage days," Ryan sighed sarcastically and smiled, "Fine. Hope
you like KFC left overs, kid."
 
Tom smiled widely and stayed in comfortable silence until they were outside
Ryan's house.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
***** The Beginning Of The End *****
Chapter Summary
     But he tried to ignore it as he kissed Ryan desperately, hoping that
     it wasn't going to be the last time.
Chapter Notes
     Shit, I went way too long with this chapter and I think no one is
     reading this fic but whatevs, I love this ship.
     Hope you enjoy.
     Warnings: smut.
     By the way, thanks to Jokersbeast for helping me to give direction to
     make this chapter, this chap is for you<3
See the end of the chapter for more notes
He knew that it can seriously look bad or wrong, that maybe the neighbors
raised eyebrows at the adolescent that got out of Ryan's old truck and he
couldn't help thinking of his father and what he would think if he found out
that on if his workers took his oldest son home —even if it was for a total and
innocent matter— But, he put that in the back of his mind when Ryan took Tom's
jacket off and placed it in the back of a chair, his heart beat stupidly fast
at his own nervous hands as he smiled loosely at the man. 
 
Ryan shortly and boredly showed him around the house. It was a small place and
Tom wondered if his bedroom was upstairs; Ryan only showed him the kitchen and
living room. He stood in the living room looking at the movies organized in
stacks in the floor.
 
"You have a nice place, Ryan," He mumbled as he lifted a movie and read the
back of the package.
 
"Thanks, kid."
 
Moving boxes were still scarred in the corners and in the middle of the
hallway, he stumbled with one and blushed at the other's laugh, he saw this
picture of Ryan with a pretty blonde lady beside him, smiling and hugging
eachother. The disappointment that he felt was inevitable, he knew, yes, he
knew that a chance to be or do anything with Ryan could be just in his
fantasies and late night sleeps, but that certain expectation and hope
sometimes was too present —Tom placed the picture with a clenching stomach and
a frown. 
 
"You have a lot of movies. How is that even possible?" Tom asked when Ryan
stood beside him in the living room.
 
"I've been collecting them since DVDs became a thing," Ryan shrugged as he put
an arm on the other's shoulders, "It's all good stuff, boy. Here—"
 
"Yeah, but most of this movies are on Netflix," The boy laughed, "Why spend
money on movies if you have Netflix?"
 
The older man closed his eyes and shook his head, "God, I beg you; please give
me patience with this new generation." 
 
Tom smiled widely when Ryan winked at him and ruffled his hair playfully before
pulling away and patting his back, "You hungry, Tom?" 
 
"Kinda," The younger boy shrugged.
 
"Come on," Ryan motioned for him to follow him, "Let's fill our system with
cholesterol and alcohol —Well, the alcohol goes for me, though. At
seventeen, you shouldn't -can't- be drinking." 
 
He shook his head quickly, sitting down in one of the wood chairs that were
around the kitchen island, "My birthday is in two weeks, so practically I'm
eighteen."
 
"No —Legally you're illegal, still. So," The blond man shrugged as he opened
the fridge and look inside, "You're stuck with drinking Pepsi tonight and
—Wow," He raised his eyebrows and read the label of soda can, "I think this
shit is too old. In that case, you're stuck with drinking water then, kid."
 
Tom giggled when Ryan threw the can in the garbage, "Do you even have real food
in that thing?"
 
Ryan looked at him over his shoulder as he pulled out the KFC container, "Does
beer and Skittles count?" 
 
"You put Skittles in the fridge?" The brown eyed boy grimaced.
 
"What can I say? I like them hard," Ryan shrugged again with a bored expression
as he put a six-pack of beer in the counter. And—Tom avoided to widen his eyes
and gasp— he just gulped slightly and clenched his legs together secretly
behind the island, because; what the actual shit? Was Ryan's answer supposed to
come out thatunintentionally dirty? 
 
Tom lowered his gaze when the other noticed his tension and frowned slightly.
He prayed to God that Ryan didn't notice the meaning behind his own words and
he hoped that he didn't know how uneasy and anxious he was making Tom feel; he
coughed to make his awkwardness go unnoticed, "So... I'm allowed to drink with
you. At least one beer?"
 
Ryan scoffed and turned around to open the cabinets, "Keep dreaming, kid."
 
"Come one, man. Is not like I've never drink any kind of alcohol," Tom groaned,
"Listen, my dad sometimes let me have a beer when the family is over and when I
hang out with my friends, this older mate that has an I.D alwaysbuy this cheap
and awful vodka that somehow gets you going and—" He stopped himself from
rambling nonsense when he saw Ryan smiling amusingly at him and placing a plate
with chicken infront of him.
 
"Little Tommy boy ain't daddy's golden child like we all think, huh?" The older
man chuckled and motioned to the food, "Dig in. I would heat it, but my
microwave broke down." 
 
"It's fine. Thanks, Ryan," Tom smiled, watching the other starting to eat the
chicken on his own plate fastly and messily, "Just one beer?" he raised his
eyebrows when Ryan pointed a finger at him for a few moments and spoke loudly
after swallowing down the food.
 
"So, what's up with your urge of drinking this cheap beer that I happened to
have?" 
 
"Please?" The younger boy faked a pout amd extended his hand to touch the
other's forearm, "Ryan —Pretty please?"
 
"Don't give me those eyes, kid," Ryan chuckled, "I might give up."
 
"Just one beer and I'll shut up and I can say that you're the coolest guy
ever."
 
"Ha —I do wanna be classified as the coolest guy ever by Tom Holland," He said
sarcastically and with a dramatic eye roll, he continued, "The son of the owner
of —That by the way your father -my boss- could send me to jail right now. We
can thank the shitty weather for our rare circumstances." 
 
Tom looked at the alcoholic drink in the other's hand and then back at the
hazel eyes, he mumbled, "Just one?" 
 
Ryan sighed and straightened up in his chair, "Your parents are probably
wondering where you are. So eat that chicken, so I can drive you home, Tom."
 
"As far as I know; my parents think that I'm still at my friend's house."
 
"But, you're not, so—"
 
"One beer isn't gonna hurt." 
 
The older man dropped the fork on his plate and clenched his eyes, "Jesus
fuck. You just don't get tired do you?"
 
Tom smirked playfully and shook his head.
 
Ryan contemplated him for a minute, frowning slightly and pursing his lips, he
sighed after and shrugged, "What the fuck? One beer isn't gonna hurt."
 
The younger boy smiled when Ryan opened the beer for him and placed it beside
his plate slowly, looking at it then at Tom with a grimace, "What?"
 
"I'm giving alcohol to a minor. When did I became this person?" Ryan groaned
and threw his head back.
 
"Since you decided to be cool?" Tom giggled and tool a small sip of the beer,
scowling at the taste slightly.
 
Ryan shrugged and went back to eat, "Just don't tell your dad."
 
-
 
He didn't know how the fuck Ryan let him drink that much, but he did, and his
heart was pounding like his vision was a little blurry. They ended up in the
living room, Ryan listened with a smile at Tom's non-stop conversation, nodding
and laughing occasionally, when Tom tried to take another sip from his beer, he
frown and whined when the man shook his head and took away the bottle.
 
When he was feeling light-headed, he stopped talking and he could feel the
other's eyes on him, he played with his own buttons of his shirt, opening one
accidentally and when he looked up he found Ryan following his hand movements,
he turned away quickly when Tom smirked at him.
 
"You want me to take it off?" He mumbled slightly.
 
"What?" Ryan widened his eyes and then laughed, pointing at Tom, "Funny."
 
"I'm gonna take it off. I'm hot," He unbuttoned his flannel slowly, with dumb
fingers, noticing the way Ryan's breath hitched. 
 
"Tom—"
 
The boy ignored him until he was in only just his black shirt that he had
underneath, he could feel the tension in the air and he didn't know if he was
gonna be rejected, but the alcohol in his system made him a bit reckless.
 
Tom looked down for a moment, watching Ryan's hand on the couch getting closer
to his, he licked his lips and found again the hazel eyes; the mumble of the
voices coming from the TV sounded low when he leaned in quickly and pecked
Ryan's cheek, he was expecting a hand on his chest or on his shoulder, but the
man was looking at him with an uncertain expression and his shoulders seemed
tensed. Tom leaned his head again and got closer to kiss again the other's
cheek, he kept kissing it quickly and then down his jaw.
 
"Tom—" Ryan coughed and moved his face away softly, holding a hand up to caress
the boy's cheek, "Stop this, kid. You're not on your right mind." 
 
"But, I am," Tom breathed through his nose, "I am, Ryan. I just — please —"
 
"No," The blond man was about to stand up, but he stopped him by holding the
front of his shirt, "Tom, stop it—"
 
"Shh..." Tom kissed his cheek again, starting to climb into his lap cautiously,
"We can — it's fine," He held the other's arms and frowned when they were
firmed and unmoving, he noticed then that Ryan's face was turned away from him
and his lips were sealed tight, "Ryan, you can touch me. It's fine," He slurred
slightly.
 
"You're drunk and stupid," Ryan shook his head and tried to push him off, "Now,
get off, before someone gets in trouble." 
 
"I'm not dru—" The brown eyed boy was about to protest, but he closed his mouth
when Ryan looked at him with dangerous eyes and the vein on his forehead was
prominent.
 
"You can barely talk, Tom, come on," He sighed frustratedly, putting his hands
in the other's hips to push him off.
 
"I want this."
 
Ryan looked at him without blinking when he stated loudly, Tom avoided to not
grin when the other softened the grip on his hips and stopped pushing him away,
his breath was uneven and he looked alerted, "Tom, don't." 
 
The boy ignored him, leaning his head down again and brushing his lips on
Ryan's chin, the beard tickled him as he kept pecking wherever he could find,
when he bit slightly his jaw, Ryan suck in a breath as to sober up and parted
away quickly, but Tom gripped the sides of his face and kissed his lips
harshly, surprising himself and Ryan, he sighed when the other didn't try to
pull away, he rested pliant and comfortable on his lap as they kissed, the
experienced licks inside his mouth and the strong grip on his hips made him
realize that —Indeed, it was all going too fast, but he shrugged it off.
 
Ryan groaned when Tom palmed his dick through his jeans, gripping it in a small
hand and trying to open the jeans, he grinned when the man opened them for them
and spread his legs to pull his dick out. Tom stroked him quickly and moaned at
the warm flesh on his face, he looked down, resting his forehead in the other's
chin as he looked at the cock in his hand, looking better that he ever
imagined, he was about to get on his knees in the carpet and try to succeed in
his first blow job ever, but Ryan pushed him in his back and grinned against
him.
 
"Oh," Tom moaned in surprise when he felt the pressure on his cock and saw the
man taking his tshirt off; he dragged his hands up and down his chest and back,
squeezing and trying to memorize.
 
"Tell me what do you want," Ryan asked, "I need consent, Tom." 
 
"Yeah, yeah —I want —" The boy sighed nervously, "I want you?"
 
"You want me?" Ryan imitated his asking tone and frowned slightly.
 
Tom hardened his expression and thrusted his hips up, he said breathlessly, "I
want you. I want you to fuck me, Ryan."
 
It took a few seconds before the older man nodded and gulped and it took a few
seconds before he got Tom out of his clothes, taking his jeans away roughly and
throwing them aside until he was only in his socks and underwear, his cock
straining against the fabric and creating a wet patch on top, he was letting
himself being manhandled when Ryan moved him and touched him as if he was a
ragdoll and he enjoyed when the man positioned himself on top of him, in
between Tom that spread his legs so invitingly and hugged his broad shoulders.
 
After a few minutes of kissing and grinding, the older man spoke.
 
"Please tell me you've done this before," Ryan whispered against his lips
slowly.
 
Tom shook his head, passing almost unnoticed, Ryan let out a curse and squeezed
his hips harshly as he kissed the boy deeper and wetly.
 
"Never?" He repeated.
 
"No," The boy opened his eyes and when he saw the other's mortified expression,
he lifted his hand and caressed his cheek softly, "It's fine, Ryan, really. I
—Ryan—" He kissed his lips when the man shook his head, "It really is fine. I
want this." 
 
Ryan nodded slowly, a uncertain expression on his face, he motioned Tom's
underwear, "Take this off, then."
 
Tom breathing in, lifting his hips to get rid of the fabric, blushing furiously
when his erection jumped slightly against his stomach, he watched ryan stood up
and pull down his unbuttoned jeans, Tom stared with lust at the way his muscles
flex in the dimmed light and at his cock that was standing in the air.
 
"Shit, I don't— wait here. I'm gonna get the lube from upstairs," Ryan coughed
awkwardly and walked away hurriedly out of the room.
 
Holy fuck. This was really happening, isn't? 
 
Tom dropped his head back against the couch, gripping his own hair in a try to
calm down and not back away from this, because, it was Ryan and he wouldn't
hurt him. He laid in silence for a few minutes —drobably just one, but it felt
like a lot to him— and looked at the ceiling, drumming his fingers against his
stomach. Ryan scared him when he arrived, smiling down at the boy and taping
his left legs.
 
"Give me some room," He mumbled and Tom parted his legs shakily to let the man
position himself between them.
 
They kissed hotly again, Tom moaned silently and embarrassingly at the firm and
heavy weight on top of him, he shuddered when the other's erection grazed his
slightly. Ryan bit his lips once and started to kiss down his jaw and neck with
an opened mouth, licking and nibbing wetly, making Tom move his head aside to
give him more room, his own hands rested hesitantly in the man's forearms.
 
It was like if he couldn't keep up with the Ryan's movements, whenever Tom was
kissing him slowly, the other kissed him harshly, or when he was gripping
slightly his shoulders, Ryan fondled his sides and thighs strongly and
authoritative and —Tom was falling for that, he was surprised at his own
actions at how pliant and docile he was being, letting himself being touch and
grip in places that nobody had ever touch him there. He gasped when Ryan sucked
on the side of his neck; the only hickey that he has ever received was from
Harrison when they were fooling one night in the garage, late at night,
claiming that they wanted practice, solely for experiment, but Tom couldn't
deny that he enjoyed his friend's hand on his waist and his tongue in his
mouth.
 
Ryan parted away breathlessly and mumbled against hus mouth, "I'm gonna make
this so good for you, baby." 
 
Tom was about to speak, but his words got stuck when the sight infront of him
only appeared on his wet dreams, he watched with a chest rising up and down
Ryan kissing and licking down his sternum and belly quickly, biting the skin
and hard muscle underneath, his stomach quivered when Ryan got closer to his
cock and fuck himif he was was gonna get a blow job tonight; the man licked the
tip slowly, moving his tongue in circles and Tom opened his mouth but no sound
came, he only stared with wet eyes at the ceiling, his hands were useless so
with one he gripped the edge of the couch, knuckles turning white, his fingers
and nails hurt from the tight grip, but he ignored it when Ryan suck the head
in.
 
He didn't dare to look down because he knew that if he looked down, he would
come right there with the sight of the man sucking his cock, he stayed with
blinking furiously, not knowing what to do with the newfound pleasure. Ryan
pulled away, chuckling against his pelvis, he licked and sniffed into the soft
brown hairs in Tom's pubic bone, sometimes stopping to kiss his cock longingly,
"God, you smell so good," He groaned, "Like a desperate virgin that uses
way too much soap. Were you planning this, Tom? Did you get all cleaned up for
me?" 
 
The boy shook his head quickly, mind going numb, "No, I —no. I didn't even know
I was gonna see you today. Fuck, I didn't even know that this was gonna
happen."
 
Ryan chuckled again and tongued his hips prominent bones and belly, "So, that's
your normal hygiene? Because —There is no way that a highschool boy smell like
lavanda soap and roses and shit. Did you stole it from you mother?"
 
"Ryan," Tom covered his heating face with his arm, "Stop."
 
"Lighten up kid," He mumbled, "You look so pretty blushing for me. Take that
arm away from your face. I wanna see it." 
 
The boy lifted his arm slowly at the firm command and placed it beside him, he
found Ryan's hazel eyes looking up at him with dilated, dark pupils and —That's
why he didn't want to look down because he knew that the sight was gonna break
him when Ryan was there, in between his widened legs, face close to his dick
and lips shinning with spit. 
 
Ryan kiss his inner thigh and smiled softly at him, all of the boy's worries
went away and he relaxed his muscles, he smiled back shyly and sighed when the
other grabbed the leg that was hanging of the couch and placed it up in his
chest. Tom was about to protest of why the fuck he didn't get a proper blow
job, but Ryan's next actions cut whatever thought that crossed his mind.
 
"Wait! —Ryan, no, I'm not—" Tom gasped and lifted his head when the man started
to lap with his tongue at his rim, moving ever so slowly and sensually that it
got the boys searching for air, because, shit; never in a million years he had
thought that he was going to get eaten out on his first time. He gained
composure and rested on his elbows, trying to pull away, "Ryan, please. I'm not
—" He huffed, cheeks flustering in embarrassment, "Fuck —I'm not shaved."
 
The man parted away with a frown and a confused expression, his lips were
swollen and red and Tom cursed himself from skipping his weekly hour of shaving
himself down there. He groaned and flopped back down when Ryan laughed
throatily, "You think that I give a fuck, Tom? An ass is an ass and besides, if
it makes you feel better, you don't have that much of a bush, so it's nice," He
shrugged.
 
Tom's hips stuttered when the other went back to lick him and he suppressed the
smile that wanted to come to his lips at what Ryan said. The hand that was
pressing his own leg against his chest felt warm and he looked down with
halfclosed eyes, but looked back up hurriedly and clenched his eyes. He tried
to ignore the embarrassment and awkwardness, but, Jesus Christ, he did was
getting his ass eating and he wasn't used to the exposure that came with the
fact of being in such and vulnerable position.
 
But —Fuck that, because Ryan was making him feel over the moon with the licks
and sucking on his rim, he was arching his back just a bit everytime that Ryab
tried to breach inside, it was too hot, everything, the way that Ryan's warm
breath came against him, the wetness and feathery touches with his tongue. Tom
went back to grip the edge of the couch and his other hand pushed the man's
head closer to him, he started moaning softly and shyly since that moment that
Ryan tongued up and down on his hole, he gave little sighs and whimpers, he
didn't even recognized himself, nor his sounds or corporal expression, because
Ryab was making him feel out of his body.
 
"Yes," Tom whimpered.
 
He tried to brush off the fact of how much he was loving this, another man's
mouth on one of his most privates parts and how his dad would be so
disappointed if he found out how he was giving himself away so easily, because
they, his parents knew that he no longer was into pussy when they found Tom in
his bedroom, grinding against a boy from his class, school uniform still on
them. They accepted it, of course they did, everyone and he remembers punching
Harry angrily when he laughed it out and said that he knew that Tom liked dick
since he found his browser history opened in his laptop. 
 
But —They, mostly his parents, because he trusts his brother Harry into telling
him everything that he does and his not quite sure if he is gonna tell him
about him fucking for the first time with a one of his dad's employees, but,
his parents still think that Tom is their little boy that knows better than
doing what he was doing in Ryan's place. 
 
His thoughts got interrupted when he lost the warmth against him and wet sounds
stopped abruptly, he opened his eyes and he didn't realized until now that he
was digging his face in the soft backrest of the couch and biting into the
rough fabric, he raised his head, "What—"
 
Ryan moved quickly and kissed his lips again, licking inside his mouth hotly
and Tom blushed when he tasted himself in the other's tongue, his dick twitched
at that too; the man pulled away and stared into his eyes intently, "You can
still back away, Tom."
 
The boy shook his head quickly, "No, I—
 
"Do you still want this?"
 
"Yes," He sighed it out, he gained courage from the remaining alcohol that was
on his system and moved a hand down Ryan's chest to grip his cock in one hand,
wanking him up and down twice, "I want this, Ryan." 
 
The man nodded shortly.
 
"Fuck me," Tom whispered breathlessly, before kissing him desperately again,
grinding up against him and smiling when Ryan groaned and nodded.
 
When the fingers wet in lube started working him open, he maintained his eyes
wide up in surprise, accepting the comforting kisses on his neck and
collarbones when he grimaced in pain. It was strange, it didn't felt like
Ryan's tongue because that was soft and his fingers were large and thick,
spreading inside him a bit hurtfully, because Tom never has had something up in
his ass before, because he was too ashamed and afraid to try it himself, but
when after a while of Ryan fingering him calmly, the fingers inside
touched something that made him arched his back and gasped wetly.
 
"What the fu—"
 
"Shh..." Ryan whispered and shifted his hand to touch it again. 
 
Tom moaned loudly and spread his legs wider unconsciously and he knew then that
the shame that he felt towards his own self discovery of his body was left
behind, because he knew that he was going to do that again in his room; he
gasped when the man pressed harshly against the spot, "Ryan, fuck — If you
— shit, if you keep doing that, I'm — I'm gonna come."
 
Ryan shook his head and took his hand away, leaving the boy clenching his hole
into nothing, he gave him a long kiss, "You don't wanna do that, baby, because
I'm gonna fuck you now."
 
He nodded stupidly and his heart beat incredibly faster at the nervousness and
excitement, "Ok." 
 
The older man reached down to smear more lube around his hole and then jack of
his dick slowly, "Hold your legs up."
 
Tom did, lifting his legs and resting them against his chest, the exposure was
pleasant, mostly when he saw the flash of lust in Ryan's face when he stared
down at him, he looked down and watched the man lubing his dick and Tom frowned
slightly and lifted himself on his elbows with struggle, then he spoke
unintelligently, "Ryan —What? — condom?"
 
"Relax," The blond man whispered against his lips and licked inside him,
"You're ok, Tom. It's your first and I have nothing so it's fine."
 
"But—"
 
"It will feel better, trust me, baby boy."
 
He did trusted Ryan and he comply mostly because of the pet name that
sounded so right coming out of his mouth, he chose to ignored every warning,
any correct thought in his mind and all of the sex education classes that he
had in school, he ignored the 'always were condoms. Protect yourself,
guys!' but he couldn't wouldn't say no to Ryan. It's not like he could get
fucking pregnant, but he ignored the other risks and consequences that he read
on the internet of unprotected sex and besides, hell, he had heard his friends
talking loudly about how it was always better without a condom. 
 
So, Tom nodded and accepted the soft kiss on his lips, he shuddered
unexpectedly when Ryan held on of his legs against his chest and the other he
make Tom wrap it around his waist. He laid there opened and pliant, holding the
man's arms for support as he hugged his waist with one leg tightly, his head
pounded and he didn't know if it was because of the remaining alcohol or
because if the way that Ryan got closer and nudged his entrance with his cock,
teasing him and making nervous at every second that passed.
 
"You're so pretty you know that, right?" 
 
Tom opened his eyes and found the other's already staring at him, he was about
to compliment back, but he tensed up and gasped with slightly widened eyes when
Ryan trusted slowly, dragging his dick inside him with difficulty, "Slow,
slow," He whispered and his chest couldn't stop from lifting itself up and down
quickly.
 
"I got you," The man nodded and kissed his neck as a distraction for the pain,
"You have to relax, Tom. Come on, let go, let me in."
 
He didn't realize that he was clenching Ryan's arms in a tight grip and that he
was tensed all over, he took a deep breath and then exhaled it, he forced
himself to relax his entrance and then gasped again when Ryan entered him whole
in a quick thrust, "God, Ryan —wait."
 
The pain wasn't unbearable, nor comfortable, but it was pain still, a pain that
he has never felt and it weirded him out a bit until he was getting worried
that he wasn't going to enjoy this, a dick in his ass, because of all the porn
he had seen, he wanted to moan and shake like the young boys in the videos when
they were getting fucked; but, here he was frowning and feeling tears in the
corners of his eyes threatening to come out, the only reassurance was the pecks
on the side of his neck and the sweet whispers.
 
"It'll pass, baby boy. Just relax and wait," Ryan said lowly as he stroked a
hand down his face to wipe the wetness and —When the fuck Tom started crying?
He didn't notice until Ryan kissed and wipe the tears away from his cheeks and
he heard his ugly, wet sniff and whimper.
 
"Ryan —I, please," Tom didn't know if he was asking for the pain to go away or
for him to move, but Ryan shook his head and started to pull out.
 
"I'm gonna stop this. I can get you off in other way — You
practically just lost your virginity,  so; and it was what you wanted so—" 
 
"No!" Tom opened his eyes, pulling the other back by the waist with his leg and
then swearing when he sank back, he gasped and smiled stupidly when he touched
again the spot inside him accidentally, the pain was still there but became
overpowered by the electric electric shiver that traveled in his lower back and
belly, "Ryan, there. Again, there so it doesn't hurt, come on." 
 
Ryan smiled widely when the boy moved his hips impatiently, he pulled back and
thrusted in quickly, going deeper and into the direction where it got Tom
opening his mouth in a breathless moan.
 
Tom kissed him dirtily, wrapping his arms around his neck and dragging him down
until his cock was trapped in between their bellies and received friction
everytime that Ryan moved and grinded against him; his head kept hitting the
couch armrest at harsh thrust and he was getting spit around his mouth as he
and the man's tongues moved together distractedly and messily.
 
The pain was pleasant now in every drag of Ryan's hips against him, the
constant sound of skin against skin and the springs grinding together were
turning him on more than he wanted, his cock was rock hard against his stomach
and he being attempting to touch himself, but he forgot when the other fucked
him deeply, feeling him pressing inside him and groaning against his ear.
 
"Harder," Tom mumbled shyly and moaned with his head thrown back when Ryan
obeyed and reach a hand down to wank Tom off, following the pace of his thrust.
 
"Like that?" Ryan smirked, "Like that," He empathiz his remark by giving a
peculiar deep thrust. 
 
"Yes, yes —Don't stop, please— Ryan, I —fuck, I'm gonna—"
 
And, just like that Tom gasped in surprise, blinking rapidly until he clenched
his eyes and opened his mouth, letting out high pitched moans that he was
embarrassed to think that they sounded feminine, but he keep moaning louder
when the press inside him and the rough hand on his dick became to much and his
body shook uncontrollably, his stomach quivered and came unexpectedly fast on
his stomach, the waves of good pleasure that not even a morning wank could
overpass, leaved him gasping and arching his back, meeting Ryan's thrusts
desperately until the last drop of cum was left on his belly and he only
twitched his torso slightly and his body went lax.
 
"Good boy, good boy," Ryan voice was rasp and his hips moved violently against
him, "You looked so good, sweetheart. Coming like that for me."
 
Tom stared with doe eyes up at Ryan's face above him, eyes shut and a
concentrated frown was on his eyebrows as he moved inside him, he let the man
continue to fuck him even if the pain from the beginning was coming back and
the oversensitiveness was becoming to much, but the manly grunts and harsh
breaths against his face were enough to close his eyes in content, his legs
were heavy beside him, spread and just welcoming the other. 
 
When Ryan came and groaned, slumping on top of Tom, he grimaced slightly at the
warm liquid that started leaking out of him when he asked Ryan to pull out. 
 
They laid there, snuggled together in the couch, Tom ended up almost on top of
Ryan, his back against his chest as they try to catch their breath, he felt the
rapid heartbeat of the man against his back and he smiled widely, their legs
were entangled and he welcomed Ryan's fingertips moving up and down on his
thigh, he raised his hand to pukl back his own hair away from his forehead and
then rested in the man's cheek, caressing the beard there. 
 
"You good?" 
 
Tom hummed softly.
 
"You liked it?" 
 
He hummed again.
 
Tom opened his legs and sneaked a hand down, catching the come that was
trailing down his ass and couch, he lifted his head and groaned, whispering a
small ew. Ryan kissed his template and muttered, "Sorry about that, I was
planning on pulling out but you tempted me." 
 
The boy blushed, still not used to the explicit and deliberate talking that
Ryan was so comfortable saying.
 
"You can shower if you want," Ryan shrugged and patted his leg. 
 
"Ok." 
 
They laid down for a few minutes in a comfortable silence, the content inside
him disappeared when he realized that Ryan didn't even care too take him to
and actual bed and that he lost his virginity in a fucking small couch, but he
tried to ignore it as he kissed Ryan desperately, hoping that it wasn't going
to be the last time.
 
 
Chapter End Notes
     Harrison will appear in the next chapter.
***** Trying to distract this pain away *****
Chapter Summary
     Because for once, Ryan was out of his mind for a while.
Chapter Notes
     Sorry for the long, long wait y'all and thank you so much for the
     feedback!
     This was supposed to be the last chapter but I decided to add another
     one because if not this would've been long and tiring so be waiting
     for the last chapter early this week:)
     Hope you enjoy!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
It was quiet and Tom could practically hear Ryan's voice whispering hotly
against his ear, damping the skin there and making a shiver run through his
lower back. The touch on his skin felt like it was burning its leaving trace,
leaving Tom to bed for more, he shifted and sigh everytime that Ryan pinched
somewhere as he digged his face in thr pillow beneath him, biting the fabric
and gripping soft sheets as the man bite his back of his neck and pulled down
his underwear quickly.
 
The boy parted his legs unconsciously, grinding slowly in the pillow that the
other placed under his hips, he was shivering for more, his pleads seemed to go
unnoticed as Ryan fondled the skin in the inside of his thighs. Something cool
dripped on his skin, making him look back, over his shoulder and let out a
breath when he saw Ryan lining himself up behind him—
 
Tom gasped and sat up quickly, he blinked furiously and tried to see through
the dark of his room, he looked around and realized that he was entirely alone
and in silence, except for his heavy breathing and the fan on the ceiling; Tom
sighed, almost annoyed and flopped back in the mattress carelessly —just
another wet dream that keeps waking him up early in the morning, just when a
little light is coming through the crack of the curtains.
 
They keep coming since his last encounter with Ryan on his house, he used to
have them, but not like this. Not so vivid and just fucking real, he still
could feel the burn in his skin and caresses, on his hips, the way that Ryan's
lips would leave a trace down his neck and back like the last time and he woke
up sweaty, panting and wishing.
 
Tom shyly reached under the sheets, instantly his hand brushed on his crotch,
feeling his hard-on over the soft fabric of his briefs, it was warm and
leaking, god, he wakes up everytime so flustered when he finds how wet he
gets. 
 
The light of the cloudy sky was just slipping through the curtains and he
pulled his hand back, resting it in his chest, hesitating and opening his eyes
to only stare at the white ceiling.
 
It's being a week since he saw Ryan and since (holy shit) he lost his
virginity. He hasn't see the other because school was harsh with final exams
and having his mom yelling at him to study and to not go out —not even with
Harrison— was becoming a bit of huge headache. But he was dying to go to his
dad's workshop and see Ryan there, cutting wood and drinking whiskey with the
other workers manly.
 
He was fantasizing about Ryan's expression when he sees Tom again, maybe he
will part his mouth and devour him with the hazel eyes, but —Tom absolutely
doubt it because the man was excellent at hiding emotions and acting normal.
 
So, he felt like dying inside at every passing day at the prospect of a
next time.
 
The single thought of the possibility of doing it again with Ryan, to touch him
or kiss him became unconsciously present in the front of his mind, but he
couldn't ignore yet the possibility of having the other man to reject what
happened or, hell, reject Tom himself. 
 
He dragged his hand under the covers again, giving a shaky breath as he gripped
himself tightly, squeezing and rubbing the wet head over the black fabric, his
thumb grazed it carefully and he had to with his other hand drag the collar of
his shirt to bite into it, just to avoid making any inconsiderate noises
—because, he did was a teenager, he was used to be quiet and suppress himself;
but since he got to experience to really be loud without having to hold back
and squeeze his lips shut at Ryan's place, he has been craving too to not worry
about making any single noise.
 
Tom's breath hitched suddenly and he jumped when the door of his room opened
loudly, "Fuck!" He whispered-yelled and pulled away his hand roughly, gripping
the edge of the blanket and pulling up his chin consciously.
 
Harry appeared in the entrance with halfclosed eyes and a frown, he even still
had the pillow marks in the sidd of his face as he leaned on the door frame,
"Tessa took a shit just outside my bedroom, dickhead."
 
"What are you doing up this early?" The older boy sighed.
 
"What are you doing up this early?" His brother eyed him suspiciously with a
small smirk and crossed his arms.
 
"I have to get ready for school," He rolled his eyes.
 
"At six in the fucking morning?" Harry scoffed.
 
"I'm gonna do my fucking hair," Tom groaned and rubbed his face, trying to sink
more into the mattress.
 
"Gay," The other boy snickered playfully, making Tom rolled his eyes again and
groan louder.
 
"Get out!" 
 
Harry straightened up and hit the door frame, "I almost stepped on the shit
when I was on my way to the bathroom —Clean the dog's shit before someone steps
on it, dickhead."
 
"Why the fuck don't you just clean it, man?" Tom sat down in the bed.
 
"It's not my dog," He shrugged.
 
"Fine! Just get the fuck out," The boy said annoyingly and rolled towards the
edge of the bed, "You should've stepped on Tessa's shit!"
 
Tom called out loudly when Harry started walking away and left the door opened
in purpose; when he heard a door being slammed in the hallway, he pulled the
covers away and looked down, grumbling angrily when he saw his boner was
already gone and he was shivering without the warmth comfort of the bed as he
stood up and stomped loudly to close the door and leaned on it, his heart
beating fast against his chest —even though his brothers had caught him wanking
and he had caught his brothers too, but he was glad that Harry was that tired
to not notice— he wasn't in the mood to deal with bickering in the kitchen
table and he having to punch Harry.
 
-
 
The first thing he saw when entering the workshop shop was the wide wood plates
and the first thing he heard was the cringing sound of the machinery working
—he walked in and was welcomed cheerfully by the workers there, a few pats and
ruffles were delivered to his hair and he smiled shyly.
 
"Tommy boy, hey!" One man said and opened his arms.
 
"Hey, Mr. Hiddleston," Tom waved at the tall man.
 
"How you've been?" The blue eyed man nodded at him, he was wearing this thick
gloves as he held a hammer on his hand, "Staying out of trouble?"
 
"You bet," He rised his eyebrows, "I haven't see you here lately, Mr.
Hiddleston."
 
"I caught a cold amd stayed home for a few days," The other Tom answered and
smiled politely at him before patting his shoulder once, "You grow an inch
everytime that I see you, little man."
 
The boy grinned, "I hope so. I'm trying to reach your height one day."
 
Hiddleston chuckled amd shrugged, "Keep eating those vegetables then."
 
He was about to respond, but some had call for the man and they both turned
around, the boy looked behind him and found one of the workers waving at Tom
hurriedly —and, gosh, he then saw him, he saw Ryan there, in the same table
cutting wood and he suddenly looked up and caught the boy's eyes; he tried to
ignore the disappointment when Ryan stared at him shortly and
indifferently before dropping his gaze to keep looking at the wood.
 
"Duty's calling, little man," Hiddleston sighed and shrugged, "See you around?"
 
Tom nodded distractedly and smiled slightly as he watched the man jogged away,
he was left with a heart beating fast as he turned his head again to look at
Ryan.
 
He felt a little guilty that he barely gave any attention to the nice man that
was Tom Hiddleston, but, damn it, Ryan (the man of his dreams) was there.
 
Tom remembers when he had a small crush on Hiddleston —it was more of a
platonic crush, it fell more on the side of admiring, because he did admired
the man for being so kind and happy all the time, he was one of the few man
that didn't only say hi to him because he was the boss' son; Hiddleston would
always chat with him and bring him some kind of sweets— and besides, the man
was fucking lovely, with the deep blue eyes, light hair, slight beard and
straight teeth.
 
But, he soon forgot about that when big, bad boy Ryan came into the picture.
 
He didn't know when he started walking, but maybe he was just to deep into his
thoughts that he realized that he was directing himself towards the blond man
cutting in concentration —he turned back to look at his dad's office and saw
him distracted with some papers on his hands, so he decided to say 'hi' to his
dad later.
 
The sound of electrics machines cutting was almost unbearable, but he felt his
chest warming up at the sight of the man finally being real and close; he
sighed and stood by the big metal table.
 
Tom placed his hand in the rough wood and he caught Ryan's eyes following his
hand for a second before going back to focused on what he was doing currently;
he gulped and leaned his body on the table, "Hey."
 
Ryan looked up shortly, barely staring and he gived a single nod at him,
"What's up?" He turned back down to cut the wood, making a cringing noise.
 
The boy grimaced slightly when he had to raise his voice to be hear over all
the construction sounds, "You need help with that?"
 
The other looked at the wood, contemplating and then he nodded, pointing at the
end of the table, "Hold that still. Like always, kid."
 
Tom tried not to let his stomach churn at the name, because —shit, wasn't Ryan
calling him baby the last time that they saw eachother?— he tried not to think
about it too much too, because, indeed they were in a opened place and they
couldn't risk anything, not a single hint, not a single look not a single
fucking touch, even though before they fucked, Ryan used to hug Tom from behind
to help him cut the wood (wich, of course, nobody saw something wrong, because
it was the boss's kid who has being there since he was a little boy and seeing
him get taught how to follow the business was heartwarming, even though Tom was
getting hard-ons from feeling the strong chest against his back) but, still,
Ryan hasn't being this dry or careless? Because, usually he would be already
smiling at the boy and making fun of him.
 
So, Tom breathed in deep, nodding and walking towards the end of the table,
insanely trying not to panick and run away to hide and cry in the bathroom
because his heart felt like coming out out of his throat.
 
Just as he gripped the wood down strongly and the loud sound of Ryan cutting
through it filled the room; Tom licked his lips and smiled widely, "So, how've
you been?"
 
Ryan looked up, this time he stared at the boy with a slight uncertain
expression on his face, eyeing him quickly and then nodding once again, he
shrugge, his lips looked tensed as Ryan spoke firmly, "Good."
 
Tom looked down after he watched the blond man going back to work as if they
weren't talking, disinterested and indifferent and his chest clenched
involuntarily. 
 
He didn't hear a question or any other response, so he sighed quietly, passing
unnoticed as his smile unrevealing, "And, how's been work this days?"
 
Ryan continued cutting, "Same as always."
 
The boy nodded slowly and dunked and tilded his head childishly, searching for
the man's eyes, "Did you wondered why I haven't being here since last week?"
 
And all he got back was a short shrug and the smile disappeared completely from
his thin lips.
 
After a few minutes passed and all that he could hear was the other workers
chattering and the machines working, he sighed and let go of the wood abruptly,
straighting up and placing his hands in the table, almost accusingly.
 
Ryan looked up with a frown, not before getting a tight hold in the saw and
wood, his eyes were angry as he stared at Tom, "Don't do that—"
 
"Are you just going to ignore me?" Tom lowered his voice.
 
The older man looked away, gazing next to him and into his father's office, Tom
did the same (just for precaution) and saw his dad's back facing them as he
talked on the phone —Ryan turned back around with a sigh, "I'm working right
now, kid."
 
"And, I'm helping you," He shrugged.
 
Ryan gave a sarcastic scoff, "Sure you are."
 
Tom frowned and he was left speechless for a few short seconds, before he
leaned further in the table, "What's your problem?"
 
"Listen," The blond man dropped the saw in the table frustratedly and rubbed
his face with a hand, "I'm currently working —in case you haven't notice,
Tom. We can't do this shit right now."
 
"I just wanna talk about—"
 
"There's nothing to talk, Tom," Ryan stated casually and raised his hand to go
back with the task, he broke eye contact and wiped nervously sweat off his
forehead.
 
Tom blinked at him and gave a step back slowly, he nodded after a few seconds,
accepting. 
 
He walked away and ignored the wet burn in his eyes and the ache on his chest.
 
-
 
Tom was desperate and angry, he had passed al day tapping his pencil against
his notebook and moving his leg up and down. He was tired —how could he not?,
Tom cried himself to sleep last night, he remembers gripping the pillow and
digging his face on it to silence his whimpers and sniffs but his brother Paddy
heard anyways and entered his room; Tom still feels bad that he yelled at him
to get out and ignored the cookies (that were his favorite) on Paddy's hand. He
will hug him and watch movies with him all day, as a way to apologise and
distract his mind from Ryan.
 
Oh, that asshole.
 
He spent his night thinking about him and repeating the awful rejection that he
suffered from the man in his dad's workshop, he spent the night shaming himself
and sorrowing as he lay down on his bed. He was dying to tell someone, just to
relieve his heavy chest, but he couldn't. Of course, he wouldn't, even if he
wanted to tell Harrison or one of his brothers, he just couldn't do it because
he promised Ryan and it wasn't that, he knew how his friend or brothers would
react; they would freak out, tell his parents and, hell, even call the police. 
 
Because —yes, he indeed wanted since the beginning and nobody forced him into
anything, but legally it was still wrong and just fucked up. He was seventeen
for fucks sake (almost eighteen, but still) and Ryan was forty-two. 
 
So, he had to cry himself out and be left alone with his harmful thoughts.
 
Tom snapped out of his mind when he snapped the white pencil on his hand, he
looked down and found it parted in two while his fingers were red and scratched
slightly.
 
"Christ, man," His friend hissed beside him in their shared table, "What the
fuck?"
 
He turned to look at Harrison shortly and shook his head, "Nothing."
 
Harrison leaned next to him and spoke lowly, "Are you ok?"
 
He shook his head again.
 
"Do you wanna talk about it?" 
 
"Not now," Tom nodded at the teacher explaining in front of the class and he
dropped the useless pencil to the table, making a small sound.
 
His friend nodded and sighed before turning to look away.
 
"Had a fight with your dad again?" Harrison whispered.
 
He scoffed slightly and leaned his chin on his palm, "I wish it was that."
 
"Then what is it?" The blue eyed boy elbowed him.
 
"I'll tell you later—"
 
"Holland," The teacher called from the front and signaled at the board, "Care
to explain?"
 
He shook his head quickly and slumped down on his sit as his arms crossed on
his chest shyly, "Sorry."
 
The teacher sighed and went back to explain boredly, she kept eyeing the two
boy constantly and just when she turned around to write something on the board;
Harrison leaned to whisper on his ear again.
 
"I just saw Rebecca staring at you with heart eyes," Harrison shrugged and
mumbled, "Too bad you like dick, bro."
 
Tom couldn't help but smile and snort slightly, he placed a hand on his mouth
to silence himself as he rised his middle finger towards his friend and elbowed
him away playfully —he saw the sincere smile that Harrison gave him with soft
eyes and Tom felt fuzzy inside because he knew that his friend would do and say
whatever nonsense to make him feel better and he resisted the urge to just lay
his head down on his shoulder and hug him tightly.
 
"You'll tell me later what's happened," Harrison affirmed.
 
"I'll tell you later," He lied.
 
When school ended, he scurried away in tge hallways, ignoring his friend as he
run to the bus stop. 
 
This time he didn't go to his dad's workshop, he went home to lock himself away
in his room.
 
-
 
Tom was on his was home, his head was leaning against the cold window as he
hugged his backpack close to his face when his phone started buzzing inside his
pocket and he rolled his eyes annoyingly and gave a sigh because he was about
to fall asleep, but his dad decided to call.
 
"Hey," He mumbled.
 
"I need you back here in the shop,darling," His father said without greeting
him first.
 
Tom frowned and almost grimaced, "Why? —you never need me—"
 
"Well, I need you now," Dominic said, "I need help with the paper work and
you're good at organizing it."
 
The boy sighed and rolled his eyes again, "Dad, I can't—"
 
"Thomas," He called warningly, "I'm asking you a favor. I'll pay you if you
want —just get your arse here."
 
"Fine," Tom huffed.
 
"Alright, love you, darling."
 
"Love you too, dad," The boy said embarrassedly, eyes flickering over the bus
to make sure no one was listening.
 
He wasn't surprised that as soon as he walked into the workshop, Ryan didn't
even dare to to look twice, he just raised his head when the door was opened
and a annoyed, freezing Tom walked in, only to find Ryan gaze quickly turning
away as he resumed to laugh with the other workers —it was like the first days
that he arrived, not minding Tom and there he was craving for the man's
attention.
 
As soon as he finished organizing the papers, he had stormed out of the and he
wasn't surprised either that he cried himself to sleep that night again.
 
-
 
It's been a few weeks since that day, since he last had a proper conversation
with him and since he lost his virginity to a guy that he thought was good
enough. He couldn't help but feel used and betrayed, like some kind of fun or
game (wich he probably was) to Ryan —yes, it was fully consensual and yes, he
did enjoyed very much, but that didn't mean that he was able to forget it and
moved on.
 
There was this small hope and dream that they would be alright and keep seeing
eachother afterwards, like there was this dumb, innocent and young hope that it
would be normal and Ryan would accept it. Them.
 
But, there was this realistic thought in the back of his mind too that it was
just impossible for them to be the same after that night, because, shit, they
were so fucking drunk and silly, they were drove by lust and deep impulses that
till this day Tom still can't understand.
 
So, he stopped trying, he stopped going to his dad's workshop to only try to
catch Ryan's attention, he stopped smiling, waving at him or even offering his
help, because he was only ignored of simply just told no. He stopped trying to
connect their gaze and he stopped dressing up and combing his hair in those
messy curls that Ryan once mentioned that he liked —he just stopped, because,
what was the point if he was being overpassed into nothing.
 
He couldn't be mad at them, not really, he was too —in love? To actually be
angry. Tom felt like begging him for his attention, he felt like even if Ryan
haven't spoke to him in weeks and then suddenly he decides to speak to him
shortly, Tom will be there, nodding and taking his clothes off because he was a
goner for Ryan.
 
So, he tried to forget too, to play football, to play videogames, to walk
around the neighborhood with little Tess and have her sleeping by his side
(ignoring his mom's complains in the morning), to play with Paddy and fight
with his brothers —anything  to forget for a while about the itching on his
chest that appeared whenever Ryan rushed through his minds.
 
And the only thing that seemed to work slightly was to have the physical
contact, to kiss someone else and to touch someone else. 
 
Tom couldn't believe what he was doing, he wanted to punch himself and just
stand up because he had been 'studying' for a project with his friend Tian
during the last few days, they've been going to his house because Tian's
parents were never home. It started with just a simple kiss, not big deal
honestly, they were just rolling around on the carpet, laughing loudly as they
play fight; they were dumb and just, they were being boys, so Tom didn't
hesitated for a second where at one point he was straddling his friend, their
faces where inches apart and the only sound was the music playing and he didn't
hesitated too when his friend mumbled that they should practice their kissing
skills with eachother, even if Tian was apparently straight.
 
But, Tom was a good friend and a horny, heartbroken teenager that was too
emotional and hurt to say no and besides he really wanted it, he wanted to be
touched and moan, so he let himself be kissed softly. He had to guided his
friend's hands to his hair when they seem to be looking for something on his
chest and he gets it, he wasn't mad, Tian was only used to feel a female body
and Tom feel like he wanted to cry at how pathetic his situation was.
 
So he just grinded down on Tian, humping him like he humped his pillow and
moaning shyly as his friend kissed his neck slowly, licking and pushing his
messy curls back as his hips raised to meet Tom's.
 
It wasn't Ryan. He tried to imagine like he was and at some point did, but the
delusion shattered when the voice under him was to low, when the hands on his
hips felt not strong and the kisses on his lips felt too young. 
 
It wasn't Ryan and it never will be.
 
But he was aching to feel something else, to think something else, so Tom kept
dragging their crotches together, their lips bumping messily as his elbows
rested on each side of his friend's head that was on the floor and Tom dared to
move his mouth to his ear and whispered:
 
"Fuck me."
 
It was filthy and maybe unnecessary. But, he said because Ryan liked it when he
said it that night. He wasn't thinking, he wasn't feeling and that was good.
 
Tian groaned and almost sighed for breath as his hands suddenly gripped Tom's
thighs and pulled him down harshly, their cocks rubbed together through thick
fabric and Tom unexpectedly gasped and his legs trembled and he came on his
boxer shortly as his friend sucked a mark just under his ear, he felt the
warmth of his cum staining his underwear uncomfortably but he didn't mind as
that pleased feeling settled on his lower belly and he closed his eyes and
sighed as his orgasm passed quickly.
 
They were on their uniforms still and Tom noticed now that Tians red tie was
messed up and their shirts were untucked; he was blushing and panting as he
fixed himself, until he noticed that the other was still hard.
 
They were just teenage boys, Tian would come fast, just like he did, so he
crawled back and unbuttoned his trousers.
 
Tom gave his first blow job, it was sloppy and confused, he kept gagging and
pulling away, he didn't know what to do, but he didn't care because he was
forgetting for a while and his friend was pushing his head down carelessly
until he had to swallow everything with an unpleasant expression.
 
He didn't care that he was left feeling dirty as his friend pushed him away to
fix himself and mumbled that it was getting late and that he should go, he
didn't care that he probably fucked up a friendship —he really didn't, because
for once, Ryan was out of his mind for a while.
 
 
Chapter End Notes
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End Notes
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