Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/3295556.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager
  Character:
      Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Special_Operations_Squad_|_Squad_Levi, Hange
      Zoë, Eren_Jaeger
  Additional Tags:
      If_anyone_is_OOC_there_IS_a_reason_for_it, Theres_a_reason_for_everything
      i_write_i_swear, Alexithymia
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-02-05 Updated: 2015-12-24 Chapters: 15/? Words: 38555
****** Slow Down, Feelings -DISCONTINUED ******
by spottyflake
Summary
     Eren's stuck in a castle slap bang in the middle of nowhere, and
     Walls; he really hates his life right now. His superior treats him
     like a little kid, his comrades don't trust him, and his friends are
     preparing for the rest of their lives, slowly fulfilling the dreams
     that were once his.
     One morning, he's woken up with Levi on his lap and suddenly things
     become a /lot/ more interesting.
***** Chapter 1 *****
Eren woke with a violent gasp to the deafening bang of his prison bar door.
Bolting upright, he squinted toward the entrance to see Hanji loitering outside
his room, grinning brightly with her teeth gleaming into the darkness of his
cell. In her hand, a candle flickered, contorting her demonic face with its
light.
"Good mooooorning, Eren Jaeger! You better be awake by now, got lots of things
to do today! I'd list them all, give you a full description of the day, but
then we'd have less time to do stuff. Ooooh boy are you in for a treat. Get
yourself ready for some fun, fun, I say! Hop to it, boy-o!"
She skipped down the dreary passage-way, taking away with her the light of her
candle, leaving him in pitch darkness once again. Eren half sighed and half
groaned as he flopped back down on his mattress in defeat. It was great to get
out of the cell and do training or whatever, but at five o'clock in the
morning? Eren didn't have a window in his cell to check for the rising sun, but
Levi usually woke him when the sky turned yellow and birds started singing.
Damn dawn. The morning chorus. Urgh. These Survey Corps sure had it hard.
As he rubbed the sleep away from his eyes, the enticing smell of omelettes
wafted to his cell and suddenly his senses heightened until he was awake.
Perhaps awake enough to take on the challenge of another day... He kicked his
limp, unwashed blankets from on top of him, not caring that they lay askew on
his mattress ofrocksand dived out of bed with a gleeful grin.
When he manhandled the large metal door, it wouldn't budge. He rattled it until
it clanged gratingly. Stillnothing. Eren's face fell when he heard a steady
patter footsteps treading on the dirt path of the basement and a condescending
click of the tongue. Light glared on the walls as a short figure came towards
Eren.
A disembodied voice called out to him. "Are you honestly stupid enough to try
escaping when we're all asleep? Pretty sure you just woke up the entire
population within the walls. You're damn lucky I wasn't still getting some shut
eye, brat."
As usual, Lance Corporal Levi called him a "brat" like always. It wasn't that
it surprised Eren today, but the fact that Levi couldjoke about not trusting
him... That didn't sit well inside his gut. He rolled his eyes, hoping Levi
didn't see, or at the very least ignored it.
"Hanji was just here. I thought she opened the door, so obviously I went to
check it out." He peeked at Levi, hiding under messy brown bangs after his
tight reply. "Sir."
"Yeah, well, I doubt even Hanji would just let you out your crib and leave."
Levi scoffed, a haughty huff of breath. "She'd literally talk your ear off as
an experiment and attempt to dissect your god-damn filthy body. Even if I'd
shown up earlier."
Eren cringed; a little at the thought of Hanji dissecting him, but mostly from
the recent memory of having Hanji talk for an excessive amount of time. Never,
just never again would he let Hanji put him through that. Not after the night
he stayed up with her as she explained facts about the Titans, all of which
he'd already known. Even if Hanji was one of the few, tolerable Survey Corps
that talked to him sometimes, just…no.
Eren watched Levi's calm face as he twisted the key in the lock, noting with a
small smile the slight furrow in his dark brow at the effort and the downward
tug at the corner of his prudently pursed lips. Levi paused for a long moment,
throwing a smoulder grey stare at Eren; for no reason in particular other than
to make the boy uncomfortable. Eren had to dart his vision in another
direction, a heat crawling inside his stomach and chest when Levi rolled his
eyes, opening the door that creaked loudly in protest. Its moans echoed into
the long tunnels.
"Move your ass, Eren." Eren moved to follow Levi's modulated order.
He'd only been here for a few days, but Eren was now accustomed to, perhaps
even enjoyed, walking with Levi who'd fill him in on his duties. Today, they
walked in comfortable silence, or as comfortable as one was capableof being in
Levi's intimidating presence. It allowed Eren to count down the minutes until
he was victim to an unrewarding and pointlessly tiresome day.
The yellow fire of Levi's hand-held candle shivered as they walked, leading the
way. At first, something had convinced him that the walls were closing in on
him and shadows unpleasantly tickled his nerves. But now, he treasured any
source of light; because even just a small glow of reassurance was much more
calming than the agonising pitch darkness of his cell.
The smell of egg and omelette filled the dining hall. It was as if he was back
home in Shiganshina and an odd tingling rose in Eren's nose, a feeling he had
to blink away quickly when the image of his mother's smiling face flickered
before his eyes. Eren scanned the tables; people who crowded around their
breakfasts in groups filled most of them, talking and laughing in a cheerful
buzz.
From the corner of his eye, Hanji bounded up to them and greeted Levi with,
"Your morning dose of pipin' hot lovin' Heichou!" and thrust a cup of scalding
liquid into his hand.
Eren winced when Levi didn't flinch at the heat. Levi glowered at Hanji in
thanks and held the cup with his hand over the top, pale fingers grasping the
cup by its outer rim as he took a testing sip. Eren took a growing interest in
the movement of his knuckles but hurriedly looked away as Levi glimpsed in his
direction, almost meeting eyes with him. Heat coursed through his body, forcing
his heart to burn calories and urgingit to beat faster, as though rushing its
usual pace of pulsing blood and turning Eren's cheeks pink would save a life.
As Eren and Hanji bounded towards the source of food, Eren turned back when he
couldn't hear Levi's following footsteps. Instead, Levi was grimacing at his
tea. Eren chuckled to himself when Levi grimaced in distaste and muttered gruff
profanities at the cup, growling something along the lines of "-damn cheapskate
pigs and their fucking miserable excuse for herbs-"
After Eren piled food onto a tray, his new task was; pick the right seat. He
had to really consider where he sat so that no-one felt targeted. Although
people spoke to him, at the drop of a knife (a spoon, in his case) they'd
pounce, should he cause chaos; an attack on him always prepared in order to
defend themselves. Everyone in this room had that in mind. His body was just a
blueprint of weak points that would be targeted when necessary.
Eren's place was at the far end of a table on a lonesome chair. He threw
himself into eating his food, trying to let other's entertainment distract him
from his inner musings. At first, everyone had been too polite and far too
welcoming (or in Auruo's case, judgemental and conceited) around him, but now
they all chatted loudly and laughed easily. It bothered him, no, it actually
upset him a lot that his friends weren't here, but hey ho; Eren was still
helping humanity, was still waking up each day, was going through tedious
routines despite his burning desire to actually do something useful, even
without their or anyone else's support. At least, he would help everyone.
Eventually.
"Eventually" was taking a fucking long and exhausting time.
===============================================================================
 
Cleaning and repairing areas of the castle; what a way to waste an entire day.
Levi was always hovering around Eren, telling him to clean it from scratch. And
that was when he was in a good mood.
With every unnoticeable smudge, no, make that every particle of dust, Levi was
breathing down his back like a wild animal chasing after its prey. He had to
clamp his mouth together to restrain himself from screaming "It's clean!
Fucking Walls, it's clean! It's so fucking clean that when I look for my
reflection in the floorboards, I see the people downstairs staring up at me
instead!"
But ah, no, he had to be in control at all times. Though he truly hated to let
it have a leverage over him; he had to admit that Levi was an amazing leader.
So that meant no shouting at him, even when he abused his leadership and
demanded his squad to do the most ridiculous things. Like scrubbing floors.
Urgh. He settled for taking his anger out on the not so innocent stain on the
floor. In the end, it would never quite disappear enough for Levi's lowest
standard.
Replacing the dirty water in his bucket became the most exciting task of his
day. Especially when he walked past Levi in the hallway. Leaning against the
wall, Levi ground his teeth together and feebly clutched his black head of hair
as Eren almost passed him by. He hissed inwardly and clamped his eyelids shut
in worrisome discomfort.
"Sir…?" In his fear, Eren's voice became shrill.
Levi lifted one hooded eyelid to reveal a glazed look, breathing shallowly in
between dry gulps.
"...Eren."
Levi's soft call of his name made Eren fidget awkwardly on the spot, eyes
widening and cheeks slowly flaming. Suddenly, tautness seeped back into Levi's
tone.
"Little shit, what did you-"
In a panic, Eren dashed over to him as his knees failed.
"Captain! Are you okay? You look kinda pale, er, paler than usual. What… D-do
you need to get to Hanji? She'll help, I'm sure, sir. She's a doctor, right? To
some degree anyway… Do you want to see her?" Eren's voice shook at the shock of
seeing a pale and weakcorporal. He didn't know, he didn't know what to do to
help him.
Despite his apparent illness, Levi chuckled darkly at the mention of Hanji.
"Fat lot of use she'llbe. I bet that bitch poisoned my tea this morning. Shit-
! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"
Eren hoisted Levi onto his shoulder. "I'll take you to your room Heichou.
Whereabouts is it?" No, you've got the wrong idea, Eren wasn't internally
squealing at their closeness!
Levi groaned throatily. "One floor up at the far end of the hallway to the
right." he drooped with defeat into Eren's shoulder.
Eren had to adjust their positioning, as the latter was apparently well enough
to complain that Eren's shoulder dug into him painfully. He stumbled along to
Levi's room, hugging the older man's waist to his shoulder with both hands.
Although they hadn't come across anyone; Eren practised his 'I got this' look
in case anyone tried to interrupt his little hero expedition. He was helping
something, a human no less, and the adrenaline of useful activity was something
he felt was well overdue, considering the amount of time they'd all been here
in this boring old castle. He'd only been here a few days, but still...
Levi's breathing deepened and Eren slowed his pace so as not to hurt his chest
or stomach, the shirt having come loose from under his trousers, revealing
Levi's skin, which felt surprisingly warm against his bare shoulder blade.
Levi's cold personality gave the impression that his generously muscled body
would be just as icy. He tried not to commit to memory the corporal's bodily
warmth, to not lean into it with his cheek. Yes, he tried.
Having reached Levi's room after a few half-assed directions, Eren softly
kicked Levi's door open and carried Levi to his bed; a neatly made, white
sheeted piece in the corner furthest from the window. As Levi lay on his
blankets Eren saw his flushed face, pinkness reaching even the tip of his nose,
as if he were blushing. Levi breathed in and out, his chest rising and falling
unsteadily with thin, slightly parted, rouge lips-
Eren grew flustered on the spot, scolding his train of thought, then busied
himself with finding a washcloth to cover Levi's feverish forehead. He found
the bathroom, a porcelain bath and sink with a light colour on the walls and
beautifully polished cream tiles on the floor. Another window lit the room
behind a curtain of fine, white lace. Eren rinsed a cloth like object in the
freezing water of the sink tap. He heard Levi calling grouchily from his bed.
"Oi, brat." he sounded like himself, at least.
Eren walked quickly to his room, damp cloth dripping in his hand. He was about
to place the cloth on Levi's heated forehead when the ill man swatted it away
with a limp gesture.
"No, it's fine. I don't have a fever; it's just a migraine, headache-whatever.
Just do me a favour and loosen these suspenders, they're fucking suffocating."
Eren eyed him warily, debating internally as to whether or not he should do
just that. Then, seeing no further instruction from Levi, he delicately
unbuckled and peeled off the straps, begging that his corporal wouldn't notice
how his fingers lingered on his chest, how they trembled with each electrifying
jolt. Levi sighed and sank into the bed with a quiet, pleased moan when they
were off, causing Eren to look away in embarrassment.
Huh, Levi looked way more relaxed now. Eren couldn't help but gaze at him after
realizing just how young the soldier looked. Neither of them said anything for
a while, just like that morning when they'd walked to the dining hall together
and it had felt peaceful, even without the routine of their soft-spoken, early
morning conversations.
Levi adjusting to his new breathing space became a show of his superior falling
into shallow sleep. Eren left his side in search of something to sit on,
stretching his back after having crouched for so long. He felt a firm tug at
the back of his shirt before he could go very far. He turned to see Levi
watching him with half open eyes, lying on his side sleepily.
"Just stay here," he croaked. "It'll look... weird if you come out my room at
this time, seeing as everyone's about to finish up. Plus, I've got your key and
I need-" he yawned and breathed, "Need to supervise you on your way down…"
Eren hadn't been intending to leave yet but was Levi… implying that he should
stay? Here, in his room? For how long? A night of breathing in Levi's scent,
which was in every corner of the room... Impossible, or frustrating, at the
very least. Levi had to feel near death if he didn't feel up to simply taking
Eren to the basement.
He looked around, not sure where he should go, as Levi was still tugging onto
him weakly, as if in invitation... But trying to get into Levi's bed would be
suicidal even if he was in this state.
Then again, Eren was famous for being the suicidal bastard…
Suddenly he yelped.
"AH! The water! The bucket! I-in the hallway, I forgot, I forgot..! I need to-"
Levi growled at him. "Shut the fuck up. It's fine, so stop fussing over, over…"
And with that the grip on Eren's shirt dropped and Levi fell fast asleep. Eren;
infamous for falling asleep in the most outrageous places and the least
appropriate times, had been beaten in his zoning out ability by Levi, who could
fall asleep mid-scolding. Eren chuckled at the corporal who had suddenly fallen
asleep and went to explore. This place… Such a spacious and bright room surely
couldn't be the corporal's..? The sun was setting, as he could see from the
tall window; vibrant oranges, pinks, purples, inky blues all melding together
like colorful childhood memories.
Noticing a small desk in the other corner of the room closest to the window, he
saw the thick stacks of paperwork, all neatly lined up with the pinpoint
precision that Levi strived for and had. It looked like far more paperwork than
he and the elite soldiers had to do. Eren couldn't even write very well.
He realized; he knew next to nothing about Levi. He didn't even know what he
did on a day to day basis, let alone personal details. What did he do in the
old days while in this room? He glanced at Levi who was still on top of his
covers, shivering slightly. Moving toward Levi, he pulled some blankets over
him, thinking about the man beneath him while Levi slept and sighed into his
blankets, nuzzling them with his nose.
Did Levi ever…cry at night? Even just a little? Eren wouldn't think less of him
for it if he did. No-one would. Though it'd surprise them.
===============================================================================
 
Eren finally became comfortable in the foreign room and lay on the couch that
stood a few metres in front of the bed, having turned it to face Levi. You
know. So that Levi could at least watch out for him if he suddenly turned into
a Titan in his sleep. But mostly so that he could keep an eye on Levi until he
himself fell asleep. That night, he dreamt of… Well. The bad things, the dirty
things teenage boys normally dream about. That might not be technically true,
actually. Most boys thought about girls in that way, right? And usually girls
around their own age.
In the dream, Levi straddled his waist as Eren lay down on soft bedding. A
light-hearted giggle left the man's smile, kissing his body, leaving lingering
suckles that sizzled on his skin while Eren could do nothing but just lie
there, unable to move at free will. Wetness in his crotch made him squirm and
his eyes shot open faster than he could turn into a Titan. A sensual grin and
glittering grey eyes up close and personal stared back at him.
"Hey there, Mister Hard On."
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Eren screamed; Levi sat nonchalantly on top of him, caressing his chest with
his index finger, dragging it up and down languidly.
What the actual fuck?
Levi ground into Eren's groin with his ass, causing Eren to grit his teeth,
almost groaning wantonly, having to hold back from returning the roll of hips,
desperately wanting to give in to the urge. The older man sprang off the couch
and Eren's body, instead crouching beside his face, gently tapping Eren's nose
as he spoke. Wait, what-
"So, eager lil Eren, what d'you want first: a bath, breakfast, or me?"
He grinned cheekily, one cheek dimpling as Eren flushed from head to foot. Oh
Walls! As if it was obvious, common sense told him something was not right with
Levi. If that man in front of him was even Levi. No way in Holy Saint Maria's
wall could that be Levi! Dreams like this were NOT meant to come true! Not that
his dream had come true, seeing as there was absolutely no way that it could be
Levi; Corporal never smiled!
All morning, Levi's overly affectionate performance never once wavered. After
Eren had insisted on going straight to the dinning hall, rather than the
alternative which uh, Levi told him would be Levi feeding him an omelette with
heart shaped sauce on top (also, what was it with Survey Corps and
omelettes?!), Levi walked with him, as usual.
Except this time it was from Levi's room, not his own, and Levi was attached to
his hip! He talked about what they would be doing today, admittedly much more
animatedly than normal, using hand gestures and overwhelming the morning
atmosphere with his penetrating discussion. Sometimes, Levi randomly reached
over and caressed his face or his hair with an adoring look in his eyes and a
red tint dusted his nose.
He giggled, a brash sound that could cure the plague, when Eren leaped at a
touch. Blushing, pressing his lips together and curling his fingers whenever
Eren made polite eye contact. Eren kept that to a minimal, seeing as his heart
kept dropping dangerously and the coherency of his thought process was abysmal.
Then, in the dinning hall, Levi dragged Eren by his shirt sleeve to the side of
the table with two chairs side-by-side, poured tea for Eren, then himself, and
generally fussed over Eren to no end. Nobody but himself saw the scene, which
he was thankful for but he wished that someone could call this faker out on his
bullshit. Eren just wanted his superior back...
Calves pressed each other's, Levi leaned his elbow onto the table while his
hand played with locks of dark hair, teasingly tilting his head and body facing
towards Eren. His free hand alternated between picking up his fork to eat,
wiping away non-existent smears on his mouth, and patting Eren on the shoulder,
squeezing it each time as he smiled. The raven haired man couldn't seem to make
up his mind as to whether he should or shouldn't look at Eren while
complimenting his eyes, telling him "I bet it was hard for your mother to find
the color of the sea and put it in your eyes."
The black haired man flirted with Eren so blatantly that it fuelled a fire on
his cheeks, causing Levi to "innocently" ask if his pink face was the same
colour as his penis's head? With that, Eren gave into a slight mental
breakdown, panic attack, shell shock or whatever it was called and excused
himself, dashing to the bathroom.
Levi's touching and shy glances and endearingly cheeky behaviour just didn't
make sense! And neither did Eren's APPARENT AROUSAL. He had to wait until his
throbbing erection calmed as he leaned against the cool sink, thanking the
Walls for the room's emptiness. His Captain had smiled! That... That'd never
happened before. The situation in its entirety hammered emotions into his
chest, forcing the air to come out as stuttering gasps.
Shit! He allowed himself to admit that he'd sort of had a bit of crush on Levi,
if even that. But even then, Eren told himself that it was his looks that did
it for him. Ah, yes, it just his handsomeness, oh and his heroic deeds! His
incredible battle technique that he'd always idolised! Not his abrasive,
secretly compassionate personality, his incredible deadpan humour and how Levi
noted -as was evident in his raised eyebrow- but never mentioned the goosebumps
on his arms if his superior touched him.
Now, the virtue that was Levi's face and his one-eighty in personality
overwhelmed his pathetically pubescent body that cried out to be touched by
this fraud. Thankfully, that urge had mostly died down after some time in the
bathroom. Of all people, Erwin entered the bathroom just then. He was about to
go into a cubicle until he saw Eren, who was pretending to wash his hands. The
Commander frowned at the red faced teen.
"Is something the matter?" he asked in a silvery tone, curiosity getting the
better of him as he glanced down at the shorter brunette and raised a thick
eyebrow.
Oh thank sweet Holy Wall of Maria; Erwin was acting sane! Normal! Himself! Eren
dashed over to the tall blonde, practically sobbing onto the arm he latched
onto without thought.
"Have you seen Levi today? Oh Walls, oh walls, Erwin. He's gone mad! Utterly
crazy! He, he isn't himself at all! And h-he keeps doing things to me-"
"Doing things to you?" Erwin's sky blue eyes seemed to cloud over, but Eren was
panicking too much to notice.
"Ye-yes sir. He's been… Well, he was flirting with me, I guess? And smiling, oh
wow I've never seen him smile before and it's so weird because I didn't think
it was even possible but it's quite a sight to see…" Eren trailed off, eyes
subconsciously drifting to the door that Levi sat on the other side of.
Erwin sighed raucously. "Only you? He's only done these things to you?"
Eren frowned, pursing his lips and frowning as he thought. "Well, yeah, I mean
I'm the only one he's been with today," No-one should know that he'd been in
Levi's room for a whole night! He screamed internally, dreading the worst,
should word get out about what had happened recently to Levi. Unless they found
out by themselves... It was inevitable, wasn't it!?
"A-at least that's what he told me!" he added hurriedly.
Erwin thought for a few moments before nodding. "Okay," he clapped his hands
together and led Eren out the door by his shoulder. "Come with me, and we'll
deal with this."
Eren complied quickly and moved out the bathroom as Erwin's strong hands guided
him. After years of training camp, following orders had become a primal
instinct.
Well, almost.
They both walked up to Levi, who'd been sipping his tea and fidgeting in
boredom (which just added to the strangeness of Levi's current character) and
Erwin sat opposite him at the table. It looked very much like a formal
interrogation, except Eren couldn't tell who was the criminal and who was the
policeman.
Erwin faced Levi; his shoulders were straight as if he was in a meeting but he
also leaned in with a deadly serious look in his eyes. Levi also leaned in. He
had regained his previous reserved air and intimidating aura but there was a
smirk on his lips and his eyes shot poison at the commander.
Eren quietly sat next to Levi, trying to not step on a landmine along the way
should he be too loud. He watched the scene from Levi's side in his chair,
casually picking at his food on the plate since he was inappropriately
starving. At least it felt wrong to be hungry, seeing as the suspense should
have filled him up.
"Levi." Erwin said. "I heard from a little bird that you've become a new man
and that you're relishing in it's benefits."
What a weird thing to say…
Erwin clasped his hands together as though his fists were attempting to out
squeeze each other. It was clear he wanted an answer to his subtle questioning.
"A new man, you say? Is that what you really think? Why; I'm sure I wake up a
new man every day. Each day is so bloody enlightening. I'm sure most people
feel the same way."
Levi's smirk seemed to have difficulty in trying to not turn into a grin as he
spoke coldly to the commander. Eren looked to Levi with confusion still
swirling around his head. Erwin still glared at Levi seemingly unable to take
his eyes off him, in the same way everyone had their eyes trained on Eren: the
instantaneous Titan shifter. It wasn't something he was comfortable with.
"Um, Erwin…" His head snapped towards Eren, the intense look in his eyes still
there. Eren focused his eyes on Erwin's sleek blonde hair, avoiding eye contact
and pushed on bravely.
"Maybe we should, um, just leave it since, you know. He seems fine, right?
He's… himself. Yeah he's acting like himself, isn't he? I think-"
"Levi." Erwin suddenly interrupted him. "The day's plan is to do training and I
require your assistance in arranging said plan. Come to my office. Now,
please."
The black haired man stayed seated, sipping his tea, as if to mock his boss
like a rebellious teenager. "Give me a few minutes, would you?" He drawled. "I
haven't eaten much or even drunk all of my tea yet, and I'm sure everyone knows
how it goes when I haven't had my tea."
He turned to the table, his fork clinking loudly in the almost empty dinning
hall, scraping against the plate as he stabbed through his omelette. Eren
frantically stared at Levi as he pulled of an air of self assurance… His laid
back attitude? Sheer stupidity? Levi proved to be utterly loyal to the higher
ups; never questioning their demands, sometimes speaking ill of them but always
doing as he was told. So for Levi to stand up to Erwin… If Erwin felt as
surprised as him, he sure didn't show it.
"Alright. That's fine, then. Please come over once you've finished eating and
cleaned yourself up."
Erwin's list of things to do he gave Levi were orders. Like he was giving
permission for Levi to eat his breakfast. What the fuck was up with that? None
of the higher up soldiers he knew spoke like that to anyone. Before Eren could
unleash his anger, be it verbally or physically, Erwin rose form his seat and
left the dinning hall without another word, leaving the two of them in the hall
alone. Once Erwin was out of ear shock, Levi's fork clattered to the plate. He
nudged his seat closer to Eren, not looking at his face while he let out a
heavy breath and poked his head into Eren's arm.
"Captain…?"
"He's such an ass, you know that? 'That's fine then.' " he mimicked Erwin's
matter-of-fact dulcet tones with his nose wrinkled in disgust. "What a fucking
jerk." While mumbling, he dragged up his arms to drape them over Eren's sides,
his silky haired head now resting on Eren's chest and the rest of his body
stumbling onto Eren's lap.
Eren's mind went blank for a moment, only able to focus on Levi's ass meeting
his legs and where Levi's face nuzzled into him, there was a shiver down his
spine at every minuscule motion . He cocked his head in interest and slight
bewilderment. Had his behaviour Erwin confrontation been an act? Or was this,
this undoubtedly intimate gesture, the act?
"You mean... you don't like taking orders? I thought you liked being faithful
to the commander." Eren tried not to sound strangled, focusing on not feeling
the flex of his neck pulsing against Levi's hair as he shivered, his hands
twitching as his sides.
"You're wrong, kid." he snuggled further into Eren with an almost unnoticeable
smile, his breathing hitching every now, not doing very well to hide the fact
he was smelling Eren, noticeably breathing in the aroma of dried leaves and
moss.
"Helping people is normally what I'm asked to do. If they come asking for help,
I'm a little wary, especially if they don't sit right with me. But lending a
hand isn't a big deal to me. Don't mind it. However, it's times like these when
he's just being bloody selfish, trying to take up my time just because he needs
me. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of, taken for granted a bit, yeah?
Today, I just decided to let him know that I'm not just some feral pup he potty
trained, can't use me whenever he wants. I have feelings… and things I want to
do, other than be his personal slave."
Levi's eyebrows creased upwards sadly and his soft grey eyes met Eren's, irises
glistening in the light like a ripple dancing through a puddle.
Whatever boundary had been set before was broken when Eren wrapped his arms
around the smaller man, securing Levi to his chest. Eren cautiously brushed his
face against Levi's head and his lips prickled at the silky sensation of
rustling ebony threads. Wow. Their first embrace, it was... Most likely their
last.
"Yeah, that's true, sir. That's very true. Still... You? A feral pup? That'd be
a cute sight to see."
Might as well just go with the flow... Though he blushed at the fact he called
his corporal "cute", painfully aware that Levi could flip back to his usual
self and that would be the end of Eren Jaeger, he curled a lock of short, dark
hair around one finger, the latter humming at his touch and pressing further
into Eren while he vibrated.
"Hey Levi," he drew out the name carefully, then continued with a sense of glee
when he wasn't scolded. "What do you want to do? Seeing as you're not his slave
for now. I have to say, I've been wondering what you do in your free time..."
He escaped Levi's hair as he spoke and looked down to see a wide eyed, blushing
Levi, small, thin lips closed timidly. Oh fuck; there went his heart.
"Well… Usually, I clean when I have spare time. Or just any time at all. Sounds
like so much fun, huh."
Eren broke into a grin and laughed, crinkling his nose and eyes as the bubbly
sound echoed the room.
"I-I also read books, in my room. Mostly at night. A lot of them are mystery
novels. Reminds me of the cases I've dealt with over the years when the Survey
Corps goes into town, and the people I knew from back home..."
Eren's smile remained as he listened, completely immersed in his conversation
with Levi about a couple of little things about himself. Hell, he would have
loved to talk to Levi about anything just like this for hours, into the early
hours of the morning…Unlike how he'd prefer to hide from Hanji and her long
discussions.
He squeezed Levi tightly in a hug, the latter yelped beneath him in surprise
then chuckled. When Eren let him go, Levi sat up with his hair sticking out at
all sorts of odd angles, as if he had bed-head, and slowly drank his tea.
Pouting going unnoticed by Levi as he drank, Eren poked Levi in the ribs who
spluttered, almost snorting the hot, tan liquid and laughed, squirming on his
lap at the ticklish spot. Levi quickly put the teacup on the table and steadied
himself, trying to inch away slowly. Spotting his weakness with a new-found
enthusiasm egging him on, daring him to do it again, Eren kept at it, until
Levi, now convolved in laughter grabbed his calloused hands and gazed
mischievously into Eren's eyes.
...Knowing that he kind of had a crush on the corporal really didn't help to
settle the dizzying flips being performed in his stomach. Levi's ministrations
on the creases of his palms didn't prevent the heat from surging through his
body like the rush of Titan power when he shifted, didn't stop him from leaning
in a little too close so he could see the flecks of white and blue within grey
disks, already closer than a subordinate should be with his superior.
He was gazing at Eren's mouth...
Before Eren could move any further, his stomach rumbled, breaking their stare
and Eren untwinned their fingers. Levi reached back to the table, picking up
the remainder of Eren's abandoned breakfast with his own fork, spoon feeding
Eren his omelette. Walls, as if he wasn't embarrassed enough as it was with
that almost... Almost whatever it was and never would be. Groaning, he
begrudgingly accepted the food in his mouth. He didn't tell Levi that his food
was stone cold already. Not that he needed to tell him, no, not if it meant
Levi bit his thin bottom lip like that...
Not far from the oozing love scene in the dinning hall, Erwin stormed through
murky passageways in a flying rage. Why the fuck had Levi spoken to him like
that? Huh? It was that fucking Titan's fault, sitting there beside him spilling
his food all over himself like the shitty, bratty kid he was. Somehow Levi
didn't notice or try to clean it up.
This hadn't been in the plan.
The little shit was playing his part fine and fucking dandy, that part was in
the plan.
But Levi, Sweet Sina, it had taken Erwin every sense of restraint to keep
talking like a civilised man when Levi talked to him in an oddly spicy manner.
That was, until he noticed that Levi was enjoying the unspoken feud between
them. Eren acting like a child seeing his parents arguing while they hissed at
each other in code. Erwin had prepared for anything, like this odd change in
Levi's behaviour. Or, he would. Eventually. And that eventually had to come
quick before this bloody game of "take me instead" was over and he lost it. Not
that he would.
Erwin Smith always won.
Chapter End Notes
     Oh yeah, so there's some unrequited love going on here... Hope that
     doesn't bother y'all. Ereri lives forever!!
***** Chapter 3 *****
Erwin's footsteps banged loudly as the after-step echo followed, his boots
tinkling with their buckles as he made his way to the room. In his rush, he'd
forgotten to wear his cape, leaving him in his white civilian shirt as he froze
in the dark tunnels. His arms swung by his sides, keeping in time with his
aggressive stride.
Finally, he made it; his destination. The tall blonde paused outside the room,
but not for long, not bothering to straighten himself up because he didn't see
the fucking need to if all he would be seeing was the bitch. Erwin lowered his
eyebrows in his practised glower and crashed through the wooden door.
"Hanji; you have half a second to get the fuck out from wherever you are and
tell me what the hell you've done."
"Ah! Erwin; just the man I wanted to see!" Hanji's strident cackle echoed down
the hall as Erwin slammed the door shut behind him. "Have you seen the
effects?! It's incredible! I didn't think it would work so quickly, only after
a day and night, it seems? My, my, it's been terribly fun studying them from
the shadows, it's made for some good notes, hm, but I've more than likely
missed half of the behind the scene action! I need to interrogate Levi! Maybe
Eren too! But they can't know, so..."
"What 'would work' Hanji?"
Hanji had that look on her face as she half sat, half bounced in her desk
chair. Papers with scraggly writing were messily sprawled all over the work top
and a dozen lanterns lit the room from the undecorated stone walls. Her eyes
widened and her mouth gaped open; her greasy hair and the bags under her eyes
an eye-sore of evidence to the fact she'd been up for several hours too long.
She gathered her thoughts while she blinked at him vacantly. Then it all came
pouring out.
"See, at first when he took the drug, he didn't notice anything out of the
ordinary, which is weird 'cause I thought he would. Hey, maybe he did! I should
ask. He only started acting loopy the day after, all affectionate and
everything; I thought it was just an effect of the opium or a gland hypo
function or an infection in the nervous system though that would probably give
him the shits and boy would he have a lot of his jokes pulled on himself!
Hahaha! Or-or m-maybe it was even a-"
"Hanji." Erwin barked. "Your point, please." Erwin had the uncanny ability to
sound polite no matter what he was saying, whether he meant it or not, and he
used it to his full advantage when it came to dealing with the soldiers lower
than his level.
Hanji ignored his disdain and tried to simplify her thoughts for the commander.
"Right, so… So that you understand, Commander, I thought that the drug, the
love potion as you put it, I thought it worked, but apparently not."
"W-what -you mean it didn't work?!" Erwin swiftly moved from the door to her
desk, slamming his hands hard on top of the surface with a loud bang, teeth
bared like a wild animal.
"Well," Hanji kept a straight face, trying not to laugh at Erwin's melodramatic
desperation. "There were some effects that released the chemical of, let's say,
there was a knock on effect that resulted in the chemical that produces love
endorphins to kick in. Love was released recently in the brain, I'd have to do
some tests, ah, but my theory is that it wasn't the potion that caused the
emotion's release. There was nothing in the liquid I gave him that could have
done that. I mean, it's impossible."
Erwin frowned, not able to understand the scientific babble. "So, it didn't
work… but it still did?"
"Erwin." She grabbed his shirt collar violently but became soft-spoken when she
met his gaze with bright brown eyes. "It wasn't the potion that made Levi fall
in love with Eren. He was already in love with him to begin with! It was his
personality change that allowed him to express his reciprocating feelings for
Eren, he just had a really terrible way of showing if before! He's never been
one for understanding his emotions in the first place, never mind express-."
"You made Levi fall in love with Eren?! Hanji, that isn't the plan! I told you
to make Eren fall in love with Levi! Not the other way around!"
The sleep deprived scientist dropped her grip on Erwin, falling back in her
seat, clasping her hands together with narrowed eyes. "Erwin; "reciprocating".
Consider what that means. After studying them, it was embarrassingly obvious
that Eren already likes Levi to a great extent."
Not that you'd notice, you big idiot.
"You know, you were in quite a rage about the whole thing, so I didn't really
hear it all and misunderstood it a little. Not to mention the pressure of being
killed by a dagger to the neck that probably put me into action quicker. And
you're still to tell me what this is all about. Making people fall in love with
each other? Are you that eager to see them dating?"
She pointed a finger at him, peering at him from above the top of her lens. "I
at least ask that you tell me eventually, even if I messed it up a smidge."
"Why?" Erwin raised an eyebrow, question asked surly to belittle her.
"I'm only human, right? As that is the sad truth. I'm curious. I need to know
stuff! I like ANALYSING DATA. And I'm also interested in finding out what going
on in that fucked up brain of yours, seeing as I can't dissect it...yet."
The whites of his eyes shone in the light of the lanterns as he rolled them,
shaking his head. "I can tell you now and forever that that isn't happening.
Not even over my dead body. In fact, especially not over my dead body because I
know you'd wait for the chance then to do it."
"The dissecting or the telling?"
He glared at her. "Both."
"Erwin!" She screeched as she collapsed onto the floor, pulling papers down
with her.
Erwin left the room and the maniac in it, ignoring the creature's cries. "Tell
me if anything interesting happens. You should have told me about how Eren is
already in love with Levi." He slammed the door shut as he hurried to his
office.
A personality change, huh? And Eren being in love with Levi. And Levi with
mutual feelings... He pushed that thought to the back of his mind, not denying
the fact that it bothered him. Because why the hell would he? Also, the
situation could have it's advantages. But considering that morning's encounter
with Levi, and his own feelings in the mix, it might not actually be a good
thing. At all.
Suddenly he stopped mid pace and smirked to himself in the darkness. He had the
perfect plan now, in which he would use Eren's feelings against him, maybe use
Levi's too -diverting the latter's affections to the proper direction.
Later that day, when the soldiers assembled in the grassy field for training,
Petra glanced towards Eren and Levi yet again. Like everyone else who was sane
enough to see the titanic change in Levi. They were sparring; Levi with heavy
punches and Eren with flitting kicks. The other soldiers tried to spar as well,
but ended up confusedly staring at Levi, helpless because this wasn't what
they'd trained for.
Beside her, Auruo stood grimacing as he took in the scene before him, blatantly
staring at them. They wouldn't notice, of course, as absorbed as they were in
their battle.
"Do you think something's up with those two?"
When the horses arrived with the corporal on its back, everyone had been
gaping. Before hopping off, Levi smiled at the horse, stroking its sleek mane
affectionately (covering the fact Levi sneaked the mare a treat). Then he'd
immediately sought out Eren and began talking and laughing with him. Eren, who
ignored the corporal's flirtatious advances with a surprisingly straight face,
signalled to the soldiers that Levi had been drinking one too many; a painfully
evident lie. After a drinking party, the soldiers found Levi to be either a
sober or angry drunk. But due to the shock of Levi's behaviour, no-one dared to
question his sudden change in attitude and new quirks, for fear of him snapping
back; sending them to their deaths for mocking him behind his back.
It felt like some sort of test. This made Petra and seemingly everyone else
uneasy and cautious, causing them to dart their eyes in the direction of Levi
to make sure he wouldn't attack them out of the blue. At Petra's question,
Auruo turned just looked at her, boring his eyes into her and smirking
crookedly.
"Of cooourse not. Levi always swoops around Eren; it's always been such a laugh
for us when Levi teases him. Levi's forever smiling and shitting fucking
rainbows out his damn ass that everyone knows Eren's fucking each night. Levi
has such an endearing and charismatic character. Don't you think?"
Petra frowned, a growing anger burning in her fist as she hissed at him. "Stop
swearing and being sarcastic. You trying to impersonate Levi, again? Huh? Well
I'll tell you now it's really bloody annoying and I honestly don't get why you
do it. You sound nothing like him you, y-you copy-cat!"
Auruo didn't sound like Levi, especially not now when even Levi didn't sound
like Levi! She swore she heard Levi use a pun. She almost cried out in pain.
Nudging Auruo's arm, Petra pointed to Eren.
"So Levi's definitely acting weird. But what about Eren?" Her sky blue eyes
looked up at Auruo with a look of worry carved into them. Auruo frowned at
that, taking her seriously now. "He's acting really cold and distant for some
reason."
Earlier when Eren had arrived at the field he'd been very quiet. He didn't go
to speak to anyone like he usually did, entering the field without making eye
contact with anyone. He didn't even look at Levi, who was all over him and
trying to get words out of him with cheeky questions. If Petra had to choose an
emotion to label his expressionless face, she'd say he looked awkward and
depressed. It couldn't have been due to Levi's strangeness. When Eren was
embarrassed, he was flustered and spoke stupidly. When he was angry, he was
expressive and well, angry. Something had happened to both of them, and Petra
was going to find out what. After training.
Their fighting tactics were different. For some bizarre reason, Levi charged
into Eren as if disregarding the height difference, with wide eyes that were
alive with adrenaline and boyish excitement. He scarcely dented into his
opponent, who clearly knew how to fight, despite never having done before when
competing with Levi... Instead of calculating his movements like usual, Levi
threw punches messily and impulsively. Meanwhile Eren just smirked at Levi
smugly, every now and then letting out a 'tch' when Levi missed a hit. He
dodged every one of Levi's chaotic blows and managed more punches and kicks
then ever before in a match with Levi. His previous record was somewhere around
zero.
Petra watched from a few meters away at the picnic table, not able to sit down
because the fight looked serious, deadly serious; all the soldiers ready to
jump in there and stop them if they had to. She joined the others who began
standing in a circle around the fight.
Eren, the clear winner of that round and all the previous, landed a final punch
that sent Levi flying four meters, landing on his back with a brittle crack.
Eren had eyes watching Levi closely, preparing for any counter attacks by
correcting his stance to a forearm guarding block.
"Time out!" Gunther cried out.
The brunette looked petrified and hyper alert, just as he had done when Eren
had burst out into the form of a Titan that one time during lunch. Petra had
the memory of that incident stowed in her, knowing that she had to be wary of
Eren, even though it hurt to know such a sweet boy was untrustworthy. Gunther
ran towards them both. But Eren seemed to have no intention to fight again.
Petra sprinted to them too, Eren peered down at Levi with a hooded glare that
sent a chill down her spine. Something was very wrong with how he was acting.
"Eren…" she whispered to him, her voice wobbling.
His reply was sharp. "What?"
The boy looked bored and irritated. How could he look so uncaring when he'd
just knocked out Levi?!
"Don't you think you've done enough now? Is… everything okay?"
Eren looked at her, tilting his head and frowning slightly. "Yes, everything is
fine. Why do you ask?" he glanced at Levi. "Well. Maybe his ego is a bit
bruised, but his body won't have a scratch on it. This is Levi we're talking
about here." He smirked, almost affectionately, regaining an Eren-like
cheekiness. "Come on, old man. You aren't out of it already are you? What's
another round to that physique of yours?"
At hearing Eren's taunt Levi leapt up, scaring the others around him who'd
tried to revive him. His eyes were ablaze and furious. Eren chuckled.
"Perhaps that's not such a good idea after all." Eren gave a small, genuine
smile that relaxed Levi, instantly distinguishing any contempt he might have
had. Levi grinned and walked over to him, slinging his arm around the taller
man so that Eren was pulled down to his height.
"That was so awesome! I thought I was a total goner for a second there. Ha, I
knew you had potential, you little shit. Why didn't you fight like this from
the beginning? Could've saved us a lot of time and resources, you know."
Levi brushed his lips against the Eren's earlobe, standing on his tip toes as
he did so. "I had a marvellous idea where we could do a little "roleplaying"
with that "Commander Eren" persona of yours tonight. Your teasing certainly did
some interesting things to me out in the field. I doubt Erd will look at me the
same way again after this, that poor, poor man. I think I emotionally scarred
him for life. " He glanced at Erd who chose that specific moment to tend to his
horse and avoided eye contact.
Eren's mouth contorted in discomfort as he steadily grew more and more
embarrassed. He avoided Levi's warm, teasing gaze, but he didn't move away.
Then he looked at Levi properly, his eyes crinkling as he gave a short breath
of laughter.
To Petra, Eren seemed back to himself, and it was as if the dark spell that had
come over him had never even happened. He spoke to the other soldiers, asking
them how they'd got on with their sparring, apparently unaware that they'd been
watching his fight instead of training. Petra loosened her shoulders in relief.
Her knees almost buckled as the weight of worry lifted off her shoulders.
Eren had seemed scarily dangerous, so Petra didn't blame herself for being
focused on him. She stared at Levi and Eren in disbelief while they chatted
with the soldiers beside the horses, couldn't even consider what had happened
to make them act like this. She followed the soldiers as they mounted their
horses except Levi and Eren, who calmly led the way back to the castle, side by
side.
Even if Eren was back to normal, nothing explained his odd behaviour, and
Levi's bizarre attitude carried yet another load of questions. What in Wall
Rose was going on?!
***** Chapter 4 *****
Eren stared at the man that sat beside him, like everyone else at the table,
still unable to fathom what in hell had happened to Levi that could make him
laugh. It was as if he hadn't had the ability to before! Maybe he hadn't...
Their intense glances sent shivers down Eren's spine. Levi and him sat together
in the morning but this time, there were others to watch them interact, all of
them acting as though they were witnesses to a crime.
The lanterns brightened the room, radiating a warm glow as if to match Levi's
laugh. He talked to Erd and Gunther, telling them about the time he and Erwin
had let loose a chicken by accident in the market. They'd spent all day and
half the night looking for it, calling out ridiculous names for it to respond
to and getting stuck in several small spaces. Erd frequently glanced over to
Eren while the boy remained entangled in Levi's arm, blue eyes narrowed as if
he expected a damn good explanation for all this.
Eren knew as little as Erd or anyone else about why Levi had become so friendly
and cheerful. Frighteningly so. But the room had such a pleasant atmosphere as
they listened to Levi, so no-one really felt the need to call Levi out on it.
Eren only wished that he'd been with Levi that day, that he'd seen the angry
market man with his livestock, his beard of "duck weed" and searched with Levi
in the fields and town to look for the little, troublesome chicken. He wished
he could've been Erwin that day, who'd seen Levi's anger as he shouted at the
market man, seen his usual skulking scowl and heard his inventive and rude
complaints.
Erwin had spent hours upon hours in Levi's presence, all in one day and a half.
The Commander was nice to Eren, despite his treatment of Levi. Eren had admired
his status as a child, he was friendly the first time they'd spoken, and he'd
been helpful to him many times. Maybe he could tell Eren more about Levi? Levi
was a mysterious, reserved man, so it wasn't unlikely that people would wonder
about him. It wouldn't be strange to ask, surely?
Levi's warm arm around his own-that something Erwin had never had. Levi had his
sleeved rolled up, exposing bare, pale flesh, toned muscles and millions of
fine hairs that escalated up his arms and stood on end in the chilled air of
the dining room. Eren stared with soft eyes.
"And when we finally got the guy his damn chicken back, trailing back across
town to give it back to him the next morning, and held it out to him, you know
what he said? 'You tryin' at sell me a chicken, son? I didn'a know you wis a
farmer, who're you? You new to the business? I'll give yeh John's good ol'
tips.'"
Levi mimicked the market man's accent, thick and heavily drawled out. Eren
chuckled, unable to hold it back. Not that anyone noticed, thankfully.
"I had to try so hard, my best, not to pull a knife from my back pocket on his
temple right there on the spot. Took up all my willpower to do that. Erwin, the
idiot, he just told the man I was mistaken and he… Afterwards he told me to
keep it. Keep the chicken and raise it as our own." Levi looked thoughtful for
a moment, a fond smile playing on his lips.
"Yeah, that was it, he told me to call it Assassin because it'd been that good
at hiding from us and we said that that chicken would be the death of us. Also,
it looked very ready to kill us when we caught her stealing corn from a field."
"Sir, do you still have Assassin?" Petra leaned in, crossing her arms on the
table with a small smirk as she watched Levi clutch Eren.
"No, no. She died years ago, old age. We kept her in the shed when we stayed
here, back in the day. We were able to hide her really well in there because it
was far enough from the castle and it became our hideout." he rested his chin
on the base of his hand, elbow beside his plate of mostly untouched food, his
other hand slid down to occupy Eren's who spluttered, eyes darting to the faces
around the room.
"We should've had another one, though. Poor bird looked really lonely and she
never made much noise. Animals shouldn't be locked up or kept as pets unless
it's necessary. But if they are, then they should at least have a friend."
He sighed sadly, looking down at the table, his thumb caressing the knuckles on
Eren's fingers. Eren gaped at him. That was… Surprisingly caring and
thoughtful. Levi noticed his staring, as did everyone else, and bashfully
clamped his mouth up. Caressing the boy's wrist, Levi lifted his hand to
entwine it with his and kissed the back of it, grey eyes smoothly looking into
his green ones.
Across the table, Auruo coughed and squirmed uncomfortably in his chair,
desperate to ask something. The two broke their gaze to look at him, Levi
dropped their hands, still holding onto Eren while the latter grimaced,
groaning and hiding his flushed face with his free hand.
"Lance Corporal, are… are you and that kid together? You know, together-
together…?" It was one of those rare moments when Auruo didn't look smug or
bored.
The older man stiffened, griping Eren's hand tighter. "If that were the case,
would it bother you?" His eyes slowly scanned the faces at the table. "Would it
bother you all if that were true?" Eren felt Levi's hand getting warmer as he
became nervous. Wait, if it were true? B-but it wasn't! Right?! When had that
happened? Ugh, so much for keeping things under wraps!
"Not at all." Petra immediately told them. Bad Petra. Go to the corner and
think about what you've done.
There were a couple of "I guess not's" and a sarcastic "I didn't see that one
coming's". Then Gunther hesitated, adding something else to the mix.
"What would the higher ups think of that?" he looked at Eren and Levi hastily.
"Considering you're also under surveillance, Eren, is a relationship between
you two legal?" his eyes flickered between Levi and Eren. Probably not! You're
right, Gunther, it wasn't legal! "I mean, I couldn't be happier for you two;
age difference and same sex-I don't care, but… I don't want it to go badly for
you and everyone else, either."
The dining room plummeted to a silence, tense and heavy with the weight of
years. Why had Levi implied they were together? HE NEEDED ANSWERS. And everyone
had taken Levi seriously. WALLS. Of course they would. This was Levi, weird ass
behaviour or not. He lowered his hand from his face, rubbing Levi's thumb with
his own and the latter shot him a surprised but appreciative glance.
"Would you be willing to keep quiet about it?" Eren mumbled, heart racing as
his palm heated up in Levi's.
Before, Eren had been told that the soldiers couldn't trust him. But what about
the reverse? He'd never had the opportunity to think about it before. It made
him even more nervous. Everyone looked down at the table, deep in thought; they
could get fired, imprisoned for the treason of lying. There was also the silent
understanding that Eren had asked something of them (wait, why was he even
asking about this? IF it were true, Levi had said. NOTHING HAD BEEN ESTABLISHED
AS FAR AS HE WAS CONCERNED)
"I wouldn't tell." Erd told them, his face was calm but his eyes glittered at
the thought of having a secret to keep.
"Of course, I'd be willing to keep quiet about it. I want what's best for you
and what makes you happy." Petra smiled broadly at them. If their relationship
meant that Levi, the man with the eternal scowl and furrowed brow, was happy
and Eren, a boy who'd pretty much lost everything but moronic hope, had faith
in something, it couldn't be more worth it.
Gunther nodded in agreement to Petra. She looked toward Auruo worriedly, not
knowing how he would answer and nudged him with her elbow. His eyes narrowed as
he sat back in his chair, tilting it back to put a foot on the table. He
attempted a smirk.
"You think you're good enough for humanity's strongest soldier? Tch. He must be
beside a well of pity for you, or doing it for a good f-" Out of nowhere he bit
his tongue, his hands flying to his mouth as his foot fell from the table. His
eyes watered as he glared at Eren, then looked at Levi who was still giving him
his own, much more deadly glare. His cockiness evaporated with a sigh.
"Fine. Whatever. Secret it is. But one slip up from you, Jaeger, and it won't
be the higher ups you'll have to worry about."
Eren paled as everyone looked at him expectantly. He'd just been informed that
he was currently "together" with Levi, whatever that meant, and now he would
have to take responsibility for the man's happiness as if they'd just swapped
vows. Oh wow. That was totally his life calling.
It was way too much to take in in one day, on top of everything else! From the
morning straddle to training to now. It had been an exhaustingly long day and
it still wasn't over yet.
"Deal. I'll make sure that Levi is happy and you'll promise not to tell anyone
Levi and I are t-together."
"Deal." the table said in unison.
Levi looked over to Eren, still clinging onto his arm. His eyes crinkling as he
smiled at Eren. "You're blushing, you know. It's pretty cute." He let go of
Eren and clasped his hands together with a clap. "Why don't we drink to
celebrate?" Why did Levi have to make such a big deal out of this. Just, why.
Petra frowned at him. "Aren't some of us too young to be drinking, sir?" she
glanced at Eren.
Levi rolled his eyes. "Alright then children. Tonight, you're twenty five." he
pointed at Petra.
"You're both twenty-seven." he looked at Erd and Gunther.
He grinned at Auruo. "And you, you old man, are forty this year,
congratulations."
Auruo opened his mouth in protest, his eyes wide in horror while everyone
laughed. Levi pushed his chair across the wooden floor. He left the table in
search of the kitchen storeroom. Meanwhile, as soon as Levi was out of
earshock, Eren was bombarded with billions of questions and several excited
voices.
"So when did you guys start dating?"
"How far have you two gone? Is he good?" Erd, Erd NO, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
TRAUMATISED ABOUT, well whatever actually happened on the field with Levi. Had
he implied having a boner? It sure sounded like that...
"Who asked who? Was it romantic? Funny?"
"What did you do to Levi?"
The last one caught Eren off guard. In fact it caught everyone off guard except
Auruo, who wanted to know what this brat his done to his idol, turning him into
some ball of fluff.
Eren hesitated, staring into the eyes that searched his face for answers.
Despite keeping quiet about it, everyone wanted to know what had happened to
Levi more than anything else. He sighed and combed his fingers through his
hair.
"Levi woke me up this morning," he started carefully, not wanting to step on
anything that would set off more questions, like the things that had really
happened that morning. "And he was acting strangely, like you've seen him just
now. He, he was also feeling sick yesterday on my way to get water, so I went
and helped him." his intonation ended on a higher note, as if in question as he
recalled the previous day, when there was no other Levi and questions had
answers to them. Yesterday felt like it was weeks ago. "Yeah, he said something
about his tea not tasting right, maybe thinking it had been poisoned?"
The whole table gasped and eyes widened in shock. "Poisoned?!"
"But that can't be true, right? I mean, he's perfectly fine body wise." Gunther
nodded in agreement to Erd.
"Yeah, the effects of poison would have done something to him sooner, no matter
what kind it was."
A crashing sound came from the kitchen store and everyone tensed, frozen in
place. Eren jumped out his chair and bolted towards the noise, not looking
behind him. "Levi?" he called out in the dimly lit store room, there was only
one torch in here and it wasn't used often. He shivered in the new coldness.
"…I'm here."
Levi's voice came from a pile of fallen boxes a few feet in front of Eren. He
lifted the boxes away, finding an embarrassed Levi underneath. Dust covered his
cheeks. "Now, I'd say I didn't need your help but… I'm stuck." he giggled as he
hid his mouth and his eyes lit up.
"What am I going to do with you?" Eren's eyes softened as he gave Levi a
lopsided grin. He grabbed Levi's arm and pulled him out, Levi wrapped his arms
around his neck. He tried not to gasp at the contact. "Did you at least find
the drink in your little expedition?"
Levi tutted at him. "I haven't told you that you're old enough to drink."
"Well then I'll just be the same age as you for tonight."
"No, no. That won't do at all. See, I like how younger men are much more daring
and…frisky."
Levi's voice came out in a whisper at the end of his sentence. His face glowed
red in the dimply lit room and he looked away from Eren. Eren smiled to himself
as Levi let him go once he was free and replaced the boxes from the high shelf.
Levi took one from him and headed to the door, waiting for Eren to catch up to
him. They left the storeroom with a group of pale faces waiting for them
outside. They sighed in relief, visibly calming down, chuckling at their own
misplaced worry.
"I should've known he was fine. Eren would've took the walls down with his
screaming if something had actually happened to Levi."
Eren shifted uncomfortably beside Levi. Did they really think of him like that?
They all walked back to their table. Levi sat the crate down on the table,
opening it with his knife.
"Now, boys and girls, remember to be responsible when drinking." he told them
in a fruity voice. Eren stifled a giggle.
***** Chapter 5 *****
After the hilarity of Levi's joking manner wore off, Eren began to panic. Why
had he asked for permission to be, uh together? Would Levi's special squad be
willing to be quiet about a hypothetical relationship?
Would they really?
Why?
The question was stupid-no, scratch that, the entire situation was stupid-and
for some reason he'd promised to make sure that Levi was happy. Why had he
promised that? Levi was NEVER happy. At least, it was extremely difficult to
tell, what with his face being neutral all the time. He couldn't possibly make
Levi happy. He could make him feel irritated, maybe bored, pitiful, at the
most, but never happy.
If! Levi had said if it were true! Not that it actually was true!
Gunther had made the whole thing serious, but even before that, he'd felt Levi
hand getting steadily clammier with nerves as he'd asked the group his
question. Levi had also implied that their relationship was real and that his
question was equally honest, and by the looks of it; the group took Levi
seriously because he had been serious.
He'd... Indirectly proposed to Eren... Hadn't he...? Either that or he took
their interactions during the day and decided to label their relationship based
on that.
Oh Walls, Eren knew he'd really been outdone this time.
If they were in a relationship, surely Levi would go into depth about what he
meant by liking younger men because they were friskier. Eren couldn't help but
look forward to that. Priorities...
A while after Levi had dished out the drinks from the crate to everyone-
including Eren, despite Petra's and Gunther's protests about him being too
young (they'd drink beer at the barracks, for crying out loud!)-the dining hall
had fallen into a comfortable hush, the alcohol soothing everyone's minds and
bodies, helping them to relax, even into their stiff wooden chairs.
Across the table from Eren and Levi, Erd was talking to Gunther, although
Gunther looked admittedly bored and was staring into space with his eyes
slightly glazed over (cough-lightweight-cough) and Petra and Auruo were
involved in what sounded like a friendly debate. Although, Auruo's eyes glinted
dangerously, and by the looks of it, the alcohol was beginning to bring out his
temper.
Eren slouched in his chair, having not said anything since the crate had been
cracked open and they'd all been served by Levi. He bored, simply put. Sitting
around talking wasn't really his thing; he had to be doing something just to
feel sane.
Sitting around in a cell for who knows how long sort of had that effect on you.
The only times he didn't mind not doing anything was when he could lay down
outside, maybe under the shade of a tree and day dream as he stared at the
clouds.
On days like those, the sky would be as blue as Armin's eyes and there would be
the sound of Mikasa chopping wood in the background… her girlish complaining
that she could do it more efficiently than him, sure, but could he get off his
lazy butt and do some work for once?
His mind drifted as he sat at the table, taking him back to his childhood,
leading him to think of his mother and the way she'd always scolded him for not
helping Mikasa-even though Mikasa had basically told him not to bother if he
couldn't do it right like she could-and he'd just rolled his eyes at her and
said he would next time.
There weren't any more "next times" now, were there?
In the reflection of his drink in his clasp, he pulled himself out of his
musings, and saw Levi's serene profile as the older man sipped his drink, the
older man's hooded eyes making him seem sleepy as he tried to keep up with
Petra and Auruo's conversation. He felt himself smile a little.
Eren had only seen the older man sleep one time, when he'd rescued Levi from
falling over in the hallway, and was reminded of how young the corporal looked
when he actually was asleep.
In fact, the rounded shape of his face, his clear, smooth skin and, well, his
height suggested that he actually was very young. Although, the dark tint of
grey under the man's sharp eyes told him otherwise, reminding him of Levi's
position, his job, even his past of being in a gang, all of which added up into
years of experience. And if he recalled correctly, there had been a lot of
paperwork on the corporal's desk…
Levi really needed to sleep more. If anything, the man could do with a nap
right now. He must have really liked his squad if he was willing to sacrifice
his free time to spend it with them.
Eren shifted in his seat, taking his captivated attention away from Levi,
cracking the stiff joints in his neck as he reached a hand there and shuffled
his feet under the table. Yeah, he really wasn't one for conversation. When
talking, he stuttered too much when it came to someone important and with
friends, he ended up leading off into a speech since he just had a lot of
ideas. Jean loved it when he did that. Not.
Come to think of it, what was the old horseface up to these days? Had he joined
the Garrison like the weakling he was? Had he finally plucked up the courage to
ask Marco out? Maybe even Mikasa? (Although, he didn't really like the idea of
the second one. It just felt…weird. And he knew fine well that his sister
deserved way better than that idiot, even if he meant well.)
Relationships were rare in the army, even same gender ones that wouldn't result
in pregnancies, along with a shameful discharge.
You were more likely to die than make it to the next day anyway, so people
didn't waste time on nonsensical things like "Do I like him? Does he like me
back?"
Then again, that was sort of what Eren himself had been doing. Oh, the irony.
He sighed, although it sounded more like a huff from an irritated five year old
child at an adult's party, and he glanced around the room. Suddenly he was
jolted back into reality as he felt a warm hand on his arm-Levi-and he turned
around to face him.
"You're fidgeting, are you bored? We could go for a walk." Levi suggested.
With the way his eyelids drooped slightly and his mouth upturned at the corner,
not to mention the slight redness in his cheeks… Eren had a feeling that he'd
been right; Levi did want a relationship with him… But maybe it was just
because his head was messed up today.
As he thought that, he quickly looked away from the raven haired man with his
stomach in knots and bit the inside of his lip. This wasn't really the Levi
he'd fallen for before. He lacked a bitter attitude, he was much clingier, and
the Levi he knew was nowhere near as open (read: obviously seductive) as this
man.
He flushed and pulled out of Levi's grasp, still not looking at Levi, but
pulled his chair out, and the scraping of wood against wood echoed in the hall.
"A walk sounds good."
Levi appeared to be excited, seemingly knowing exactly where their walk should
be as he grabbed Eren by the forearm, dragging him from the table in the warm
dining hall, and to the back entrance of the castle. Here, there had been a
huge amount of mould on the ceiling, and that he'd been in this area alone for
several hours, simply because the ceiling kept crumbling, rendering it useless
to bother cleaning it.
But of course, Levi had been on his back, making him scrub every inch of the
mould away. Eren learned Levi's biggest pet peeve in the world of dirty things:
mould and mildew. Exploiting this fact sounded severely tempting, and he'd
actually planned to get back at him for beating him up, just as a small revenge
scheme, maybe just even a prank. But he had never gotten round to figuring out
how in the walls he could do it.
Levi moved quickly, causing Eren to stumble a few times, though the latter
wasn't actually drunk. He'd only had two drinks, maybe three, due to his
boredom and to show everyone -especially Petra and Erd- that he, as a fifteen
year old boy, was very capable of drinking as much as a regular adult.
He shivered as the raven haired man clutched onto him tighter when they reached
the back door, seemingly grey but was in actual fact brown during the day. Levi
pushed it open, revealing a gust of cold air from outside and they walked into
it. Well, Levi walked out. Whereas Eren trudged reluctantly, knowing that with
coldness came illness; and that wasn't something he liked to be reminded of
about his previous home in Shiganshina.
They made their way across a grassy plain that everyone called "the back yard"
though it was more like a field than a garden, seeing as it stretched out a
good few hundred meters, reaching out all the way to the forest in the
distance. The moon created a gleam in Levi's eyes, and Eren felt himself drawn
in to the excited look, conflicted due to his confusing feelings for Levi and
this other Levi.
A shed appeared in front of them, and Levi dropped Eren's arm in favour of
pushing him from behind on his shoulders in the direction of said shed. It
surprised Eren that Levi would want to go to such a shed, because it was dirty.
As in, it was filthy; grey from old age, and it probably had rot everywhere,
and wasn't Levi supposed to hate that sort of thing?
"Wa-wait, sir! Why are we going into the shed?!"
Levi said nothing, and not even a dark chuckle escaped his lips as he pushed
Eren to the shed, forcing the latter to open the door that had been thrust in
front of him. Eren recoiled at the touch of the wood, though luckily for him it
wasn't damp or squishy, and managed to get them inside. Levi quickly closed the
door behind him as Eren took a look around.
…There was nothing in the shed except for a cage, a plain desk and lots and
lots of spider webs…
Eren turned to frown at Levi, trying to figure out what was going on.
"Ah… It looks like I left them behind. I thought there'd be some here, but…"
Levi trailed off, glancing towards the door again.
"What? What are you looking for, sir?"
"Just a second, kid. I'll be back in a few moments." The door slammed as Levi
left.
Eren stood in a shed in the middle of nowhere. He sighed to himself, knowing
that this hadn't exactly been his idea of going for a walk. Still, he was out
of his straps and uniform, and he appreciated the freedom from the tight
material. It was dark, but it was better than the cell. He took in the room
around him, not seeing anything different from before, although he noticed that
there was a window. At least he wasn't in pitch darkness.
Awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, unwilling to touch anything, for
fear of being covered in cobwebs, Eren let his mind wander. Did their new
status as a couple mean that they could kiss?
He'd wanted to for ages now; maybe not in the morning when he'd been in shock
over the change of personality (and Levi's surprising forwardness at the
breakfast table), but he did want to when Levi had snuggled into him after his
cold war with Erwin, after training, during Levi's story about a chicken hunt…
When they were drinking, Levi had licked his lips to catch a drop of the sour
liquid. Eren wished he could've done so for his captain.
Well, he'd wished for a taste of Levi's lips before, back when Levi had his
stoic personality and crude humour, hadn't he? He should've been satisfied that
Levi was willing to be his lover, but something, something important was
missing.
The corporal didn't like him, not really.
He was drunk, and apparently Hanji had done something to him, according to the
man himself, so he wasn't even in his right mind. This wasn't the Levi he'd
come to lov-
It wasn't, was it? This man, the other Levi, was more open, more flirtatious,
was he really nothing like the real Levi? And come to think of it, hadn't Eren
been thinking non-stop about this other Levi? Had in fact imagined kissing him,
as much as he had for his other persona?
Just then, Levi came in, carrying a large satchel. He sauntered in, briefly
brushing by Eren to kiss his cheek and smirked afterwards -making the latter
yelp and snap out of his daydreams- dumping the bag on the dusty desk. The bag
was opened; and two dusters and bandanas were held up in Levi's hands.
"This place is worse than a pigsty. We're cleaning it." Levi shuddered as he
saw the cobweb ridden window.
… This was Levi, to some extent.
"Hey Levi." Eren spoke up after a while of cleaning. The shed still didn't look
much better. Some serious cleaning was required for this job. "Why'd you bring
me here? Was it just to clean this place? I thought we were going for a walk?"
"We walked to here from the castle, doesn't that count?" Levi replied, avoiding
the subject.
Eren chuckled. "Not really, I mean, aren't walks usually outside?"
Levi turned around; removing the wipe from the window he was trying to clean.
He smiled as he said, "If you want to go outside and freeze your ass off, go
right ahead. Just know that I won't be touching any blue balls, though."
Eren grimaced at the thought, though his eyebrows rose at Levi's innuendo.
"It's already pretty cold in here, there's not much difference in temperature
here than outside." What did Levi mean by touching blue balls? Did he mean the
sack under Eren's-?
Levi cocked his head and walked over to Eren, pulling his bandana down from his
face to reveal one side of his mouth upturned. His already hooded eyes became
more hidden, though not shut, as he wrapped his arms around Eren, smelling his
scent of dried leaves and moss, humming contentedly as he basked in Eren's
warmth. His breathing hitched. Eren heard it. He wasn't sure what to think of
it.
Not his titan shifter warmth, no, this heat was the kind that came from a
blushing boy with the blood running down south as Levi sighed onto his skin,
making Eren shudder in delight.
"So damn warm. You can't possibly be cold, Eren." The taller boy had to grind
his teeth in an attempt to restrain himself, but allowed himself the return the
hug and put his arms around Levi's waist.
Though why should he restrain himself? Levi was clearly fine with the
closeness; he had kissed Eren's cheek…
For some reason, he found himself unwilling to give up his first real kiss for
someone who was just a passing fancy. Not a passing thing on his behalf, but he
needed to make sure that Levi liked him. Was that a girlish thought? No. It was
reasonable enough, right?
"H-hey, you still haven't told me why we're here." Was it so Levi could
confess? Was it so they'd have privacy, should Eren have to confess his own
feelings? He gulped as he processed this, his heart beating more wildly in his
chest so much that it was a painful throb and caused his mind to short out.
Confess. To Levi?
Hell, Eren wanted to, despite his fear of rejection and just plain nerves, he
needed to reassure himself, to have Levi reassure him when, if, he returned the
sentiment. He needed to hear it from the man himself that this thing between
them was real-
"This was where Erwin and I kept the chicken, Assassin. Remember the story I
told you earlier?"
The mention of Erwin had Eren frowning and made his pants a little less tight.
Not that his libido would go out of control over a simple hug -one where Levi
nuzzled into his neck and breathed onto the sensitive skin there, blowing cold
air onto his hot skin as he spoke in a way that made Eren twitch- no, he wasn't
controlled by his hormones, he was better than that, of course.
"V-vaguely…" He really didn't want to think about Erwin right now… "Levi," he
began again, more urgently. "I was wondering, about what you said earlier, um,
t-to Auruo and the others about-"
Levi pulled away abruptly. Eren frowned in confusion as the older man slipped
out his embrace, no longer touching him. Levi grimaced in pain as he touched
his head, gritting his teeth, wobbling on his feet. Eren's eyes widened at the
sight as he worried.
"Levi, are you drunk?"
"I don't get drunk, brat." Levi looked up, not seeing Eren's mouth drop open,
and continued glaring at his surroundings. "Though if I'm not drunk, and you
aren't capable of knocking me out, I don't understand how the hell I got here.
This place is fucking filthy. I left it that way for a reason."
Eren felt his knees grow weak with relief.
Thank the walls.
A whole day had tired him out with all its sudden, unexpected events. Now that
that was gone, all his worries were over.
Once Levi pulled away from their embrace his arms felt empty.
Eren walked across the grassy field with Levi, who's usually impassive face
seemed more angry than usual, letting Eren know that keeping quiet as they
walked was probably the best option. He found that he kept glancing at the
corporal's hunched back. The chilling gust of air body alerted his senses and
sharpened the thoughts in his mind. It made him realize something.
Following the things that had happened today, and the things that Eren had
allowed himself to think and feel; he wasn't going to be able to look at Levi
the same way again. He realized that he had feelings for Levi, and gone against
his own belief that relationships, even just crushes, were bad news within the
military.
And Levi wouldn't even know that he wouldn't be looking at him the same way as
he had before, because he seemed to have… forgotten. How convenient, for Levi's
sake.
Eren breathed in a shaky sigh. This was it. That's all there was to it. Levi
was back to normal. The next day he would probably shout at Hanji, make
everyone clean the castle -including him- and do his paperwork. He'd scowl at
everyone just like he usually did.
Eren needed some sort of conclusion to this day. There couldn't just be some
flick of change that made everything seem normal again.
The squad would ask things, and they'd look at him differently. He would
remember things like how soft Levi's hair was, or how his kisses felt like
butterflies landing on his skin and that he'd heard the man laugh for the very
first time, ever. He didn't know what thinking of that did to his face, but he
knew it wouldn't be the look he generally gave Levi.
The longing to touch Levi would come with looking at Levi expectantly, without
realizing the situation, waiting for Levi to latch onto his arm even though-
Crap, he really needed to do something because Levi clearly wasn't going to. He
had to have some sort of plan… Hanji. In the morning, Hanji would be the person
to go to, seeing as Levi had accused her of poisoning his tea.
Eren drained himself of a sigh as they made their way inside, and closed the
wooden door behind him. They walked through dreary, stone walled passageways,
and Eren couldn't help but be reminded of their usual mornings walking together
from his cell to the dining room.
It had been the morning of the dreaded teaspoon incident that Eren became
conscious of the fact he was staring at Levi's elegant profile, and there had
been some… lingering desires behind those stares. But it wasn't enough to raise
suspicion in his mind about what they meant. Throughout the rest of the day, he
saw how much attention he gave the man in general, down to the way he drank his
tea and his crude language that he couldn't help but find comical.
Then when Levi spoke to him, encouraging him -of all things- that it hadn't
been his fault he'd suddenly combusted into a titan. And that he probably
shouldn't do it again.
With a smile on his face as he chuckled inwardly at Levi's roundabout yet blunt
ways of talking, his admiration for the corporal grew significantly. But it
hadn't been until today that he accepted that that was how he felt. Walls, Eren
was doing it already, would it be best to distract himself? Maybe… Levi would
be more willing to talk now?
"If you want sir, I could… explain what happened today?" He lingered behind as
he searched the man for any signs of co-operation.
Levi glanced at him over his shoulder, making Eren's heart skip a beat. The man
really did have such an amazing profile- "If I want? Go on then, enlighten me,
Jaeger. I think I can remember everything up to yesterday evening, when I was
in my room with you. I was in pain, I remember that. And you were yelling about
needing to get "a bucket"."
"Well, I'm not sure how it started, though you did mention Hanji-" Levi stopped
walking.
"What did that shitty-glasses do?" Levi spun on his heel to glare at him and
Eren's heart plummeted out of fear. Eren gulped as grey eyes surveyed him
intensely. He clearly wasn't in a very co-operative mood…
"I-I'm not sure. I mean, I considered going to her tomorrow, since you
mentioned she poisoned your tea and I wanted to see what she had done, but I,
uh, I doubt that she actually poisoned you, seeing as you seem… fine, sir."
"Right. I see. I think it would be too late to see her now; she's probably in
the middle of something at this time. We'll deal with her tomorrow. So go on,
tell me what happened."
He turned away and began to walk again, seemingly more relaxed but there was
something sinister about his promise to "deal" with her tomorrow… Luckily for
him, Levi couldn't see the blush immediately invade his face, flushing his
cheeks in such a fast rush of heat that even just looking at Levi's back
embarrassed him to no end.
"Oh, h-how do I put this, um…" Eren scratched the back of his head uncertainly.
"You were very, uh, affectionate. Especially with me. Um, you attended duties
as normal, just… in a very different manner, I suppose." Eren stared up at the
ceiling as he walked; now heading downstairs with his footsteps and voice
echoing in the passageway that lead to the cellar.
"So nothing bad happened? The training went by okay, and no-one was hurt?"
Eren felt his eyebrows wrinkle as the disappointment settled in. Of course Levi
would care about the practical factors of the day. He wouldn't care to ask how
he'd been affectionate. He didn't really seem to care as long as everything
went according to plan. There was a heaviness in Eren's chest as his processed
this; his emotions apparently unavoidable. Closure seemed necessary.
"Yes, no-one was hurt." he spoke flatly, almost mirroring Levi's tone.
"That's good. Let's get you to your cell. I'm tired as hell."
Oh yeah, Eren should tell Levi to sleep more. He should have, but he never did.
The next morning after a lengthy night in the gloomy cell, Levi came to unlock
the cell.
"We'll go to Hanji first, before breakfast." Levi's face was illuminated by the
candle he held. It was chilling, the way it darkened his eyes and the hollows
of his cheeks. Way scarier than even Hanji was capable of.
"Yes sir." He cracked his joints as he moved from the bed, making Levi twist
his face in repulsion. "Sir, would you like me to elaborate on what happened
yesterday?"
When Eren wasn't satisfied with something; he persisted until he got what he
wanted. Even when going against his mother's wishes, he had persevered in
seeing through his dream of joining the survey corps. A sense of purpose drove
him to persist, time and time again, like when he had tried to work the
manoeuvre gear.
The duty of maintaining his happiness drove him; if he wasn't happy with idly
sitting by with feelings bottled up; then he would very well tell Levi what he
had done the previous day and Eren would tell Levi exactly what he thought of
it.
When he didn't hear a response from the stoic man, he began to tell the story
of yesterday as they walked to Hanji's office, launching with the sentence:
"So, the first thing you did after I woke up in your room was straddle my
waist, and tell me 'Hey there Mr. Hard On' which by the way, didn't seem very
fair to someone in my position, and at my age too."
***** Chapter 6 *****
They didn't even reach halfway to Hanji's room before Levi ultimately snapped
and told Eren to "fucking shut up". Well, that's putting it nicely, considering
Eren was viciously pinned against a stone wall at one point -not in the good
way- and learned just how bad Levi's potty mouth was and how it felt to have
Levi's breath ghosting his face. The last part was pretty damn enjoyable.
Being on the receiving end of that verbal abuse? It wasn't the most pleasant
experience he'd encountered. Even so, Eren had to stifle a giggle under his
palm.
He'd only managed to get to the part where Levi had been flirting with him
during training, and how appalling a fighter he'd been during their sparring.
Eren mentioned how Levi told him that what Eren said had turned him on in the
middle of the field.
In the passageway, he swore he saw Levi's nose go slightly red just before the
tip after Levi finished lecturing him. Even in the darkness, colour on a face
as pale as Levi's was easily noticeable. It made his eyes glint with
vulnerability, and that unsettled Eren. Because when was Levi ever defenceless?
Then he realized; it was the same crimson tint he saw when Levi had touched his
face the other morning, looking at him with a love-sick gaze… He really wanted
to see something like that again, if only for a moment.
Still, he was happy enough just to be by Levi's side, although… Levi seemed a
little more obvious in his efforts to avoid Eren. The smaller man sauntered in
front of him, boots clacking angrily as they finally made it to Hanji's room.
Levi's hand pounded the door with a short thud then walked straight in.
"Come on, brat. I don't have all day."
Eren followed behind, entering the room timidly. He didn't really know what to
expect, not after having met the woman herself. If her room reflected anything
of her personality, he'd have to forcehimself to go in.
Like the other rooms, the walls were undecorated, there was one window at the
far end of the room and the floor was cold, grey and concrete. Hanji herself
was at her wooden writing desk with a single unlit candle on a lofty, golden
candle stand. Papers plagued the desk, but it was startlingly neat, compared to
the chaotic mess of leaflets Eren had expected.
Hanji sat at her desk, weary from exhaustion with bags under her eyes, and her
greasy bangs shrouded her features. But she was still enthusiastically writing
with her mouth in a tight line. She snapped her head up to look into nothing
when Levi banged his fist against the desk with a loud rattle.
"Oh. Levi. Go away. I'm busy." Hanji looked back down, not even glancing at
Levi and wrote as though she hadn't even been interrupted.
Levi marched behind the desk, roughly fisting the neckline of Hanji's shirt
with a sneer as he wrinkled his nose. There were sweat stains beneath her
armpits, so she'd evidently been wearing the shirt for some time. Eren was
beginning to understand why Levi was so adamant about cleanliness being a
priority. Sweat wasn't nice to look at or smell.
"Shitty glasses. What did you do to me yesterday?" he growled.
Hanji simply blinked at him behind her goggles, still in a daze, as though she
could still see the thing she was writing in front of her eyes. Her brown
ponytail swished as she shook her head, her hazel eyes widening.
"Desk. Notes. Leave me alone, I'm busy."
She teased Levi's grip from her shirt and went back to work. Eren glanced at
her work over the desk… it looked like she was writing her theories on Sawney
and Bean, the Titans she'd captured... Though they were long gone by now.
Levi picked up yellow notes from the desk at the corner, frowning as he scanned
each one carefully. Levi's mouth pulled back into a grimace. His mouth was a
sweet pink colour, like a carnation or a rose in the spring…
"Oi, brat." He raised his voice, glowering darkly at Eren.
He yelped. "Y-yes sir!"
"Did you hear what I said?"
Eren paused, unsure whether to lie or not. "Um, no not really. Sorry,
corporal."
Levi scoffed at him, flicking his sleek black hair from his face -Eren knew
what that hair felt like when it brushed his face- and then stabbed at the
paper with a pointed finger.
"This shit here says I had my emotions "heightened" while I was on the
"potion". It's also got a lot of insults aimed at Erwin, and I'd like to know
why the hell that bastard's involved." He took a side glance at Hanji.
She bounced up out her chair, suddenly out of her trance. "That's right! The
potion!" If someone who didn't know her well enough to know she was insane,
they'd say she looked cheerful.
"'A heightened state of emotions' was the conclusion I came to, after hours
upon hours of observation! And because it was the chemical from Eren's DNA that
heightened your emotions, it connected to Eren's biology and uh, what's the
word? Ah, it lowered his emotions, but Petra mentioned it was only for a short
time during your sparring."
She rushed over to Eren, papers spilling from the table and she grabbed his
shoulders. "Tell me Eren. How did it feel? Were you nauseous? I remember seeing
Levi almost throw up and then you helped him. Actually, what happened in Levi's
bedroom? Did you have sexual intercourse? Maybe the exchange of body fluids
would explain why Eren's emotions were also affected!"
Eren immediately squeaked at the thought and mention of the word 'sex'. Levi
and him? Walls, what would that even be like? Um, maybe now wasn't the
appropriate time to think about that… He bit his lip in an attempt to push back
the thoughts.
Hanji dashed back to her navy swivel chair, excitedly swinging her body from
side to side as she found a paper without any writing on it, scribbling down
her new theory. Levi stole her pen with a fierce snarl.
"No. We did no such thing."
"How would you know? You forgot about the whole thing." Eren countered
daringly, staring into Levi's grey eyes intensely. Not because he wanted to
check him out or anything… His chest heaved, only pausing to hitch once.
Levi snapped the pen in half as he returned the heated gaze. Hanji silently
screamed with a look of pure horror, opening her mouth in an o shape, mouthing
'that was my favourite pen!' before finding another one in the drawer beneath
her waist. It looked exactly the same as the previous.
"I would know, because you wouldn't be able to look me in the eye afterwards."
Eren could scarcely do so as it was, and he dropped his eyes to the floor
guiltily when the eye contact became too much. It was far too dizzying for his
pounding teenage heart to take.
"So we didn't, did we." Levi stated harshly.
"No, sir."
Levi turned to glare at Hanji. "And what's this about Eren's DNA? Oi, glasses,
pay attention."
Hanji hummed happily, crossing out random areas of her notes and adding new
bits in. "I snuck into his cell, and used his hair."
Ah, that explained why Eren thought she'd opened his door the other morning.
Wait, how had she taken his hair without him noticing? Did he sleep that
heavily?!
Levi gave her a stretched, stiff stare that she ignored with a blissful sense
of naivety. She sighed into her paper as she examined it, her eyes softened
slightly.
"Erwin made me, so don't get too mad. I got angry at him while I was writing my
notes. His intentions, although I didn't hear of them, I could tell that they
were not healthy. And… No. I probably shouldn't say. He might kill me, and then
I wouldn't get to finish my research." Eren decided that Hanji needed to sort
out her priorities.
By the looks of it, Levi had decided that it was no use in interrogating her
further as he walked out the door, folding his arms across his uniform shirt
with an irritated sigh.
"I can't believe I fucking drank your hair. That's revolting, even by her
standards."
Eren nodded as they walked towards the dining hall. "I… have to agree with you
there, sir. Though at least you didn't taste it…" Levi muttered something about
poisoning her tea soon. Eren considered helping him out when he did.
Eren mucked out the stables with Petra, by Levi's orders since the older man
had paperwork he'd missed out on doing yesterday. The smell of hay crammed his
nostrils, almost overwhelmingly, and he hummed tunelessly as the horses stamped
their feet and whinnied, wanting to be fed even though they weren't due to be
fed for another few hours.
Petra had asked him how his relationship with Levi was going… Did she not see
how he'd changed back to normal? Eren told her it wasn't going so well, but
wished that it was.
She left the stables with another wheelbarrow of horse manure (he may have
bribed her to do it with part of his dinner; he hated shovelling shit). He'd
changed into his informal clothes earlier, seeing as his uniform couldn't
afford to be dirtied by mucking out, and was now wearing his well loved beige,
cotton shirt with its string and fabric pants that chaffed his thighs when he
walked.
He bent over in the aisle separating the stalls to pick up another load of hay
and he heard a cough, a sharp sound noting him of their presence, and was taken
aback to find Levi standing behind him, still in his uniform of a clean shirt
and white trousers, but lacking the brown jacket.
Eren's heart began to thump more rapidly and his mouth dried up as the raven
haired man drew closer, closing in on him. Out of habit, he straightened his
back and saluted, pitch fork still in the hand he placed behind his back, as
though he was a child hiding a toy he wasn't supposed to have.
Levi's cold, grey gaze never left his until he entered the stall that Eren had
just come out of, the one with Levi's horse. Levi's horse was auburn colored
with a large speck of white on its muzzle which Levi petted. Levi looked up
above the stall, adjusting his cravat with a hooked finger. Eren noticed he was
perched ever so slightly onto his tiptoes and smiled at the sight.
Levi turned to face Eren with a stony look and Eren's smile vanished. "Petra's
gone out back, hasn't she?" his voice was apathetic and jaded like usual.
Eren's eyebrows quirked in surprise and confusion. Suddenly, he found himself
incapable of responding. Should he tell him yes? Or no, because Petra would be
back soon and apparently Levi needed to keep something secret from her? Should
he just stand in the middle of the aisle, gaping at his superior like an idiot?
Because that's exactly what he was doing.
"U-um, she has gone to the back, but she should be returning soon. Sir." With
an approving grunt, Levi turned away from him, focusing his attention onto the
horse, cupping a hand around its muzzle as it turned to face him, ears flicking
happily.
Daring himself to find out what Levi was doing, Eren stepped into the stall and
watched Levi murmur to the horse and languidly slip his hand into his back
pocket. Eren's eyes widened, gulping at the sensual action. It looked as though
Levi was touching himself for him, teasing Eren with the capabilities that only
a man as self-unknowingly seductive as Levi would have.
Lately, he'd been too worn-out from training and maintenance to really take
care of his body… He'd also had more than enough material to help him out,
especially with yesterday's episode. Eren raised an eyebrow to himself. It
seemed he had his plans for tonight sorted out, then.
Eren flared his nostrils as he breathed out and continued watching Levi whisper
to the horse, either unaware of Eren watching him, or didn't give a damn that
he was. Levi seemed to be… giving the horse treats? No, he was sneaking them to
the horse, making sure that Petra didn't see.
The titan shifter grinned lopsidedly and bashfully looked away from the
childishly mischievous act. Crunching steps in the yellowed hay had him looking
towards Levi and made him move out the corporal's way. Levi paused in front of
him, raising a dark, trimmed eyebrow and smirked almost cheekily.
Walls. He remembered what Levi sounded like when he laughed. How his face lit
up brightly when the man really smiled. Eren stared unwaveringly at the man in
front of him with his stomach in tight, lurching knots.
"Petra tells me he's going to get fat if I keep giving him sweets. Give him a
run around the field when his stomach's settled."
Levi left the stall with a swagger in his walk, completely unlike his usually
elegant posture; leaving Eren behind him, resting against the post on the fence
that separated the stalls.
Eren sighed as affection churned in his chest. He leaned further into the post,
into his diagonally crossed arms, with half lidded green eyes staring after
Heichou's back that was seriously muscled, beyond belief, even. Taut muscles
that were smooth and covered in skin scarred with pinkish marks from various
mishaps, scars that Eren wanted to trail his tongue over…
His skin burned where Levi had once held onto his forearm. Then his body
shuddered, effectively knocking over the bucket of water beside his feet. Huh,
that hadn't been there before, surely…
It did its job. It caught him out in the act. He shouldn't be thinking of
fucking his superior or anything of the sort.
…
Especially not with poor Petra coming up behind him with an empty wheelbarrow,
confusedly seeing Eren's flushed face, his hunched over back, and um, the
slight tent in his pants. He tried to hide it by slipping back into the stall
and tugging his shirt over his growing bulge. He'd have been weak if Levi had
seen him in this condition.
Eren gasped brokenly, feeling the burning stress in his pants.
Holy Saint Maria's Wall: he'd once been helplessly blushing just from almost
looking at the man at the same time! How the hell had his bravery improved so
quickly?!
The horse whinnied, and nudged his shoulder, mocking him with horsey laughter
that sounded suspiciously a lot like Jean's.
Eren bared his teeth at the horse and hissed, "Shut up Horseface."
***** Chapter 7 *****
The next morning, Eren woke up feeling refreshed. Who'd have known that
gratifying his libido could do him this much good? His headache from yesterday
was gone. Sure, he might not have completely satisfied his desires, but it was
much better than being celibate.
He lay awake in his lumpy bed, staring into darkness at grey stone walls, and
recalled the feeling of his back on the wall behind his bed, when he had
pleasured himself against it the previous night. He shivered at the memory.
Last night he'd imagined fire against ice. In his mind he saw the corporal's
smooth, warm chest, his balmy body straddling him. Felt the rough texture of
the frigid wall scraping his back. Wow. You couldn't tell Eren that he lacked a
vivid imagination that was for sure.
Luckily, he'd managed to clean himself up with a spare cloth, and he'd be able
to wash himself later in the shower. Now all he had to do was wait for Levi to
come and take him to the dining hall.
Why hadn't he done that before? Getting himself off was not only something to
do, but it was a great stress reliever. Wait. If he let himself think like
that, he'd end up repeating it every night. (Was that such a bad thing?)
Eventually, he heard Levi's footsteps as his boots clicked down the passageway.
Sitting up eagerly in bed and tossing grimy blankets aside he prepared himself,
planning a show for Levi.
His heart leapt when he finally saw the raven haired man standing outside the
bars of the cell, unlocking the door. Eren bit his lip as green eyes met grey
ones, and he pulled his arms over his head, stretching as he arched his back
with a drawn out groan.
"Mornin' Heichou." He breathed smugly.
Levi looked at him through the bars of the cell with a deadpan glare. His face
said; "Nope." He locked the door again, and then walked away. Confused, Eren
frowned and walked to the door, peering out of the bars to see Levi walking
back towards him. He reopened the door. Eren jogged to catch up with Levi, who
was pacing quickly away.
"Why did you do that, sir?"
Levi shook his head in exasperation, walking ahead of Eren. "Tch. The last
thing I need is for a horny teenager to show me the stains on his shirt.
Fucking filthy."
Just as he feared, Eren looked down and sure enough there was a mark where he'd
apparently came on his shirt. Mortified, he grabbed at the hem of his shirt,
twisting it so that it hid the stain. The heat that grew on his face was even
hotter than his temperature when he was a Titan, turning his entire face a
bright red.
"T-that was an accident, s-sir. I d-didn't mean to display that." he choked.
On their way to the dining hall, Eren felt the pressing need to talk to Levi.
He wasn't sure why. He liked being in sociable silence, didn't he? Yes, he did.
But his stomach was filled with nervous butterflies. Eren couldn't help but
incessantly look back to see Levi's figure.
Why couldn't he ignore those feelings? He'd felt them many times before… so why
was it different to be around the man now? The only thing that had changed was…
Eren was now aware of how he felt towards Levi.
Ah. That might also explain why he'd been trying to show off his muscles… his
muscles that were surely puny in comparison to his captain's… Eren jumped a
little in his step in an attempt to catch up to Levi.
"So, ah, sir, what are we doing today?" his voice echoed in the passageway.
"Training."
"Oh… okay. Uh, is there… any cleaning you want me to do before then?"
Levi looked back at him then, his eyes raking Eren's body up and down
peevishly. "I don't think I need to answer that."
Cringing at that but not yet giving up, he changed the topic. "Levi, sir, what
do you do in your spare time?" he asked curiously, trying to make small talk
for some motive he couldn't quite grasp.
"Paper-work."
"What about those mystery books you mentioned?"
Levi frowned at him and wrinkled his nose in distaste. "I never mentioned any
books."
"Y-you did, the other day. I don't suppose you remember though." Eren chuckled
half heartedly, hating how the sound echoed back at him, like it was mocking
him.
… What was he doing? Why was he trying to talk to Levi, when the man clearly
didn't want to converse? Not while his shirt had stains, at least…
Well he knew why, but just… Why? If self harm hadn't been prohibited, he would
smack himself in the face.
Eren told himself to keep quiet as they reached the dining hall, sitting as far
away as he could from the man in the hopes he wouldn't embarrass himself more,
still clutching his shirt as he ate so that Auruo wouldn't tease him. Eren knew
he would. He was practically the older version of Jean, seeing as they both
loved to piss Eren off.
He groaned helplessly into his bread loaf, doing his best not to stare when
Levi started eating bread in the most innocently yet most lewd way he never
knew was possible.
Erwin's plan had been simple.
Key words: had been.
Originally, he'd planned to have Eren fall for Levi. In doing this, Eren would
either a) get caught trying to sneak to Levi's room b) get into a fight with
someone about his feelings for him or c) irritate Levi so much with his puppy
dog eyed pleading that Levi would cast him away, asking Erwin to send him on
his way.
It was a win-win situation for Erwin, because no matter which option Eren
chose, Erwin would make sure that it led to a court meeting where he would
convince them that Eren was far too troublesome for them. Then he could be sent
to the Military Police. Sure, it might give the Survey Corps an even worse
reputation, but simply put; Erwin just didn't give a fuck anymore. Having a
person who could transform into a Titan was unnatural and quite frankly, it
made him sick to have the enemy being cared for under his own goddamn roof.
From the beginning, he'd been opposed to the idea. But when Levi suddenly went
down from the witness box to where Eren was tied to a pole with chains at his
wrists, and kicking him, or as he put it "disciplining him", Erwin obviously
had to cover for him.
So he'd told the judge his "idea" where Eren could be used for missions, he
could train with Erwin's army. Really, watching Eren be beat the shit out of
was satisfying and he'd felt no need to stop Levi. Then people began looking at
him anxiously, as if he could do something about Levi. Did that mean people
thought Levi was his bitch to order around? What a lovely thought…
Hanji was supposed to have given Eren a potion to make him fall for Levi, have
him lapping at his every word and picking fights with anybody that didn't agree
that Levi was a god. It seemed that Hanji had "misheard" him but he let that
slide, she had done something with a potion, Eren had a crush on Levi, even if
it had meant that Levi maybe felt the same way.
Maybe he had felt something for Eren, but Erwin could clearly see that Levi had
gone back to normal today; so there was no way he could feel anything towards
Eren anymore. Reciprocating feelings? What a load of shit.
And now, part two of plan b could commence.
He sauntered down to Eren's cell with a lantern in hand. At night, surely the
Titan would be in there by now, but not asleep. Erwin just had to hope that he
wouldn't catch Eren in a compromising situation… He'd seen the stains on his
shirt that morning. They weren't pleasant to look at. Just the thought that he
even tended to those kinds of needs was enough to make Erwin feel physically
sick.
He reached Eren's cell, knowing the boy would be able to hear his footsteps and
would make himself decent in time for his arrival. He peered through the bars
and lifted the lantern up. Almost instantly, he saw green eyes within the cell
glow as the lamp light hit them. He considered blinding Eren. Nah. His plan was
much more entertaining.
"Hello, Eren." He spoke the name with as little venom as was physically
possible for him. "How are things?"
He watched as the titan shifter's face shone in the light, and slowly twisted
into a grimace. "Not that well, I guess."
"Didn't the training go well today?" he asked sympathetically, shivering
slightly from the lack of heat in the basement.
Eren paused for a moment, shuffling in his position on the bed.
"No… That went fine. It's more of a… personal problem. Um. Love life stuff."
Erwin liked where this was going.
"You can tell me Eren, I'm all ears."
"Okay, well uh, you saw the other day that Levi was acting strangely, right?
And you tried to help…" his voice had an edge at the end of his sentence.
"Yeah?" Erwin encouraged, his voice carefully modulated to sound empathetic.
"I uh, ended up realizing I have f-feelings for him. And I'm now I'm terrible
at keeping my emotions in check around him. Please don't say anything." he
begged.
Yes, this was exactly what Erwin wanted.
"Why bother keeping them in check? As long as you're not angry, then what the
harm in showing him how you feel?"
Eren buried his face in his hands. "I act so stupid around him, I end up doing
all sorts of dumb stuff to show off, and I don't even mean to do it. It's
really embarrassing. For me and him. I don't think he'll ever want to look at
me again after today." Eren sighed heavily.
By the sounds of it, Eren was going to go with option c): irritate Levi so much
with his puppy dog eyed pleading that Levi would cast him away.
Erwin prepared himself for the long stream of teenage angst that was sure to
come.
"I had cum on my shirt this morning," Could the kid be any more obscene? Not
only did he have semen on his shirt but he was actually telling Erwin this? "So
he called me out on that. I'd been trying to, uh, flex my muscles. To show off.
I'm not really sure why." He laughed weakly at himself.
"Earlier, I ended up trying to make up nicknames for him, names like 'Lee', I
complimented his cleaning style, said some other stupid stuff, and he made me
clean the entire top floor of the castle and gave me extra laps during
training. I was just babbling. I can't even help it. How do you make it stop?"
Erwin hadn't been listening, so when Eren suddenly stopped talking, he had to
backtrack and try to think of what to say. He contorted his face, and hoped it
looked like a gentle smile. "Why… why bother worrying about stopping?"
Eren furrowed his brow in puzzlement. "What?"
"I mean… don't you want to become his lover?" he enquired enticingly.
Realization dawned on Eren's face, but then quickly vanished under a scowl.
"He'll reject me. I'm not stupid. I'm aware that he doesn't harbour any
feelings for me." his voice trailed off at the end, as though he was trying to
convince himself that this was true.
"Oh, Eren. He might've changed back to his usual self, but he talks about you
all the time. He's always going on about how great you look and… yeah, he
basically never stops talking about you." Eren didn't look convinced.
Erwin cringed at his previous false enthusiasm. The brat better fucking believe
him after this because if he didn't…
Okay, Erwin. It's all or nothing.
"Did you know that he makes you clean the floors as punishment because he likes
that he can see your ass?" Erwin squeezed his eyes shut.
"What?!"
There it was; Eren Jaeger took the bait. Waiting for the idiot to do something
about it was all he needed to do now.
***** Chapter 8 *****
Petra was in the communal shower with Levi. The shower nozzle was towering
above her head in the brown coloured stall, and her hair was a darker shade of
her usual blonde. Levi always thought that this was a peculiar transformation.
When in the shower with her, he often looked at it for a long time, because his
hair was black and didn't do the same thing where it changed colour.
His hair couldn't go any darker when under water, he decided. But that was fine
because he didn't really think any other colour of hair would suit him. He
wasn't really supposed to look at Petra for too long because it made her cheeks
turns red and she usually asked him to stop looking at her "like that".
Levi scolded her and told her to stop looking at his lower body "like that" but
it was a different kind of "like that" because her eyes usually glazed over and
she stared at a different part of his body, and not his hair.
Were all women hypocrites, or was it just Petra?
The younger soldier was explaining to Levi about the relationship he'd
apparently had with Eren. Eren had explained already that he had become more
affectionate after he had drunk the potion.
Presumably, said potion had worn off, so everything was fine and he could go
about his business as usual.
But people like Eren and Petra seemed to insist that he listen to them explain
further, when really, he'd heard them perfectly the first time. When Eren
explained further, it seemed to be that he wanted to explain, simply because he
wanted Levi to know. Levi decided that was the case, because Eren continued
talking even when he made it obvious that he wasn't listening by walking away
and mostly ignoring him.
Levi had explained to Petra about how he'd taken a potion and that he didn't
remember what he had done during it.
Petra told him basically everything that Eren already had, though her tone was
less insulting than Eren's had been. She was used to Levi after having been in
Survey Corps with him for some time. She also knew the right kind of questions
to ask because there were a lot of questions that Levi couldn't answer.
He didn't know what to say to questions like "How does this make you feel,
Levi?" so usually, he walked away or told the person asking to piss off. He
never bothered to ask what they meant, because there really wasn't much point
since he probably wouldn't understand or care anyway.
"You know Corporal... You smiled a lot." Petra faced away from him, and she
rinsed the soap out of her hair. "I think that boy might be good for you."
Levi wasn't sure what to think about the fact that he and Eren had been in a
temporary relationship. He didn't really want to talk about it, because he knew
fine well that the superiors wouldn't be happy with said affair. It made him
wonder, though. Why had he apparently been "clingy" with Eren? Petra said that
he hugged Eren a lot, especially when grabbing onto his forearm. Levi asked
Petra why he held onto his arm. Petra told him with a quiet laugh that it was
probably because he liked holding Eren there.
Something occurred to Levi when he wrapped a white towel around his waist after
his three minute power shower. Eren had said he was affectionate, Petra said
that he had been smiling; Hanji had said that his emotions had been
"heightened."
Did that therefore mean that there was some element of him that was
affectionate and smiled?
Levi didn't really smile or act affectionately. Was there some part of him that
wanted to? Was there something about being with Eren that made him want to act
like that? He couldn't really think of what would make him want to smile, so he
ignored the problem, and went to the changing room to get dressed.
After some light training in the morning including running laps and press ups
and a fifty minute long tea break, Levi set everyone the task of cleaning the
floors of the castle. They were dirty with the mud having fallen off their
shoes and onto the floor.
Eren was at his station on the stairs by the dining hall, scrubbing at the
steps in front of him with such vigour that Levi was sure that he'd fall down
the stairs. Levi was tempted to tell him to do it all over again. He wanted to
see the pink hue on Eren's cheeks that often happened, especially when he got
angry. Sometimes just looking at Levi set off the color in his face. Levi liked
the color pink because it reminded him of flowers in the spring, and spring was
his favourite season.
He liked it when Eren looked at him; his eyes were an interesting colour of
green that looked like moss. He also smelled like moss. It made him feel weird
inside when Eren looked at him, usually making Levi angry because he didn't
know why he felt that way and what the feeling was.
He repressed the desire to scold the boy and moved over to the brunette, who
had a white bandana covering his head and mouth. Eren looked up at the sound of
Levi's footsteps and his eyes widened. His mouth was hidden by the white
bandana that Levi made him wear so that he wouldn't inhale the toxic fumes of
the cleaning supplies or get dirt in his lungs.
That had happened to Levi once, in the underground, it had almost killed him
too. He couldn't allow the infamous little Titan shifter to die of a little
dust, now, could he?
Levi and Eren were wearing similar attires; white pants and beige shirts,
though Eren's shirt was rolled up so that his forearms were bare. Eren was
standing up to attention, breathing heavily. Eren pulled the bandana down and
licked his pink lips. His lips were fuller than Levi's, but not much wider.
Levi stared at them before catching himself in the action, getting angry
because he didn't know why he was staring at Eren's mouth and why he was
wondering what it felt like to touch them.
Eren was just standing there, staring at Levi, and this made him even angrier
because why the hell was the idiot not cleaning? His teeth showed as he
growled. "What is it, brat? Got something to say?"
Eren squeaked in reply, eyes widening further as he bit his lip. His eyes
flickered as they watched the ground and his chest stuttered in its movement.
Levi decided he needed prompting. "Spit it out or I'll have you clean the
ceiling of the stairwell."
When in doubt: make Eren pout by telling him to clean.
Eren looked towards him again with bushy brown eyebrows furrowed and his teeth
showing like a dog that wasn't sure if it should bite or not. Levi folded his
arms, raising an eyebrow that usually conveyed the message "I want you to tell
me what I want to know, now, or I will do something bad to you". Eren let out a
long breath, closing his eyes tightly.
"Please, sir! I have feelings for you and I'd like for you hear me out!" he
shouted.
His words echoed throughout the stairwell and from the way Eren winced, he
didn't appear to like hearing his voice resound throughout the castle. Levi
couldn't feel his body and his mind was suddenly void of thought. He couldn't
think of how to respond, or what to do. For some reason, Eren took this as a
cue to continue.
"I-I can't concentrate on anything when I know you're in the room because I
want to look at you more, a-and I like your humour and the way you talk and how
y-your body looks and I can't help but act like a moron when I try to seduce
you." He breathed in quickly. "You... you are all I think about no matter where
I am-"
"Stop."
Eren's confession was making Levi feel strange in his chest, it was making his
breathing more shallow, his face heat up, and he didn't like it. He didn't know
much about what he felt and didn't truly understand how to explain or properly
identify what sadness or happiness was, but he knew what he wanted to continue
and what he didn't. Levi decided to ignore the problem he couldn't face by
simply walking away from Eren. And that was that. He felt himself being grabbed
by his wrist.
"Please, Levi! I need your answer!"
Levi stared at the gaps between the stones in the wall. "Who gave you
permission to call me Levi?"
"A-ah, sorry, s-sir. Please, please tell me what your answer is."
The question seemed to be: how would Levi react to a horny teenage brat asking
him... what exactly?
"I don't understand what it is that you want me to answer. You have only told
me that you have feelings for me. I don't really get it..."
Eren fidgeted behind him, still holding onto his sleeve that Levi hadn't
removed from his grip. He wasn't sure why he let Eren manhandle him, but he was
warm and it felt nice, so he let it be. Levi sighed.
"W-what I'm asking you, sir, is... would you be interested in having a
relationship with me?"
"We already have a relationship. We are superior and subordinate-"
"That's not what I mean!" Eren hissed. "I mean, like, s-sex and kissing and
stuff. C-couple stuff."
Levi gently pulled out of Eren's grip and assessed him carefully. Eren seemed
to have been angry before, apparently because Levi misunderstood his
questioning, and Eren seemed to have calmed down a fair bit once explaining his
thoughts. He was watching Levi carefully, waiting for his answer.
Why did Petra think that Eren was good for him? What was it about this
aggressive teenage boy that apparently made Levi want to smile? Plus, what
would his superiors think...?
It was better to satisfy Eren's desires. If Eren couldn't concentrate during
training like he said, it would be beneficial that he have a sexual partner to
release his frustrations on. That was what Eren wanted, right? "Sex and
kissing" and "Couple stuff". It wasn't such an odd request; he'd heard it
before.
And he really couldn't afford to let the Titan shifter lose control, either.
What would happen if Eren lost control simply because he had a raging libido?
Imagine; Eren turning into a Titan because he had a raging hard on. Wow. That
would be disgusting.
"Okay." Levi looked up at Eren, who smiled happily, all signs of previous
frustrations completely gone from his face. "Meet me in my room two hours after
dinner."
===============================================================================
 
Cleaning the rest of the stairwell turned out to be much easier after getting
over the embarrassment of confessing to Levi, no scratch that, after Levi had
told him to go to his room after dinner. He wanted Eren in his room in the
evening, when all the soldiers would be in their rooms, out of hearing range,
and that therefore meant-
No.
No way.
Eren would have to wait until he could actually breathe around the corporal
properly before he could even try anything like that!
But. But, but, but. Now there was the possibility that that could happen, now
that Levi was okay with a relationship between them. What a relief! Eren
chuckled at the memory of the man's surprising naivety. They had a "superior-
subordinate" relationship already. Aha, ha, ha...
It was definitely surprising that Levi even agreed to date him. Eren had
thought for absolutely certain that Levi would reject him, that he didn't
harbour any feelings for him either, what with him seeming so angry at him
before Eren spoke up, and with him being so busy each day with the piles and
piles of paperwork to sift through, the soldiers to look after, not to mention
the babysitting required for himself.
Levi was like the male version of Mikasa that was being paid to mother him to
death. Except,his feelings for Mikasa and Levi were different. She was his
sister, after all. And... Levi didn't really mother him, if the "beating the
shit out of him" incident in the courtroom was anything to go by... And Mikasa
was fairly more agreeable than Levi...
Nevertheless: he got what he wanted! Mutual feelings! Levi would be his...
Boyfriend?
Wait, what did boyfriends actually do together? What did couples in general
actually do?
Eren knelt on the step, scrubbing brush in hand as he furrowed his brow and
warmed his spare hand over his bare arm. Good thing they had lanterns in the
dining hall, otherwise he'd be left in the dark since there wasn't any windows.
Eren didn't really like the stairwells much; the sounds in them echoed like
nightmares at the back of your mind that you didn't want to remember. Yeah, he
was really thankful for the dining hall light now.
He'd suggested the kissing and, well, the sex, because that was what couples
did, right? Eren and Levi had cuddled (dare he call it that) in the dining hall
the other morning but that was before any relationship was established. Did
that count as couple stuff? It felt reasonably nice (amazing, really). Ugh. He
would talk to Levi about it. He just wanted to be near Levi more, taste his
skin from time to time and figure out how in the Walls the angry little man
ticked.
Time passed (but not enough time and not quickly enough) and Eren found himself
eating dinner in the dining hall with the elite soldiers. Peasant stew! His
favorite, just like Mikasa used to make. They really did have a fixation with
birds here, didn't they. It was either something made from eggs or birds
themselves...
He rolled the sleeves down on his white shirt after washing them in the basin
in the kitchen, and headed over to the scene at the table, where all the elite
soldiers had their food in front of them, and oh-
Eren's food was in front of the seat opposite Levi's. Damn. That just wouldn't
do. They were boyfriends now! Like Hannah and Franz had done, they had to do
everything together, right? That meant eating side by side!
With a confident stride, he sauntered towards the table, trying to suppress a
giddy grin whereas Levi remained straight faced and didn't look at him. Instead
of glancing over at Eren and making a rude remark like the usual, he focused on
the food in front of him. Huh. Normally Levi didn't like to eat much... Ah,
there it was. His infamous cup of black tea was beside his plate, though it
looked surprisingly untouched.
Sensing that something was off about Levi, Eren decided to stay in the seat
opposite Levi and pulled the chair out so that it scraped loudly against the
concrete floor. He picked up his cutlery and began to dice the small amount of
meat. Eren shyly peered up at Levi from beneath long dark eyelashes.
Levi didn't even have to look at him to send his heart racing, to make his
cheeks turn red and his stomach toss and turn restlessly. He shakily prodded
the meat with his fork and attempted to eat it. He clamped his lips together
between every bite, relishing in the wonderful burning and bubbling feeling in
his gut that almost had him bouncing in his chair (not that he would, he wasn't
a child and besides, Levi wouldn't appreciate it).
As soon as everyone was finished with their meals, Eren bit his lip as he tried
to make eye contact with Levi and began the countdown, literally counting down
the seconds. He'd never actually learned how to tell the time...
Usually, in the evening, no-one really had any chores to do and training was
mostly pointless so it was classed as free time but really, everyone was
supposed to clean their gear (which Eren thought was pointless, seeing as they
hadn't even used their gear and hell, who even knew when Eren would even use
his again, now that he was a Titan shifter... Walls, that was years of
training; wasted).
He sat outside in the back yard with Petra, lazing around as she did her own
laundry in a large wooden basin. Grasshoppers' singing filled the air and the
water sloshed in the basin, disturbed by her rigged and determined attempts to
scrub them with detergent so that her hands were pinker than her lips. Eren
raised an eyebrow at the blonde woman, using his arms to push him up as he
sighed heavily.
"How long now?" he pouted, staring off into the space behind her head.
"Half an hour. Not long now until your "meeting" with Levi. Could you please
set up the poles and fetch the pegs for me Eren?"
So polite. She reminded him of Armin with her big, rounded eyes and quick wit,
but she was much less likely to put up with bullshit, much less Auruo's, and
everything about her existence screamed "Warm!" and "Motherly!" Maybe Armin
could also be a mom one day. Wait-
"Yeah, sure." he shrugged, languidly standing up. "My legs are going numb. I
also need something to do to maintain my sanity."
Yup. Days upon days in a cell really made a person appreciate the great
outdoors. He found the wooden pole lying on the damp grass by the castle wall.
Why not keep the pole up all the time, he'd asked. Because the wind would blow
it down, Levi had told him. There was so many pointless rituals with these
people… Petra cleared her throat to speak and Eren looked up at the sound as he
pushed the pole into the muddy grass. "So I hear Levi doesn't remember what
happened the other day?" His hands stopped on the pole.
"He told you that? Or was it Hanji?"
Her eyes widened minutely in mild surprise. "So it was actually her? And yes,
he did while we were in the showers earlier today."
Levi had been in the communal showers with Petra? He wasn't sure he was too
happy about that, even if it couldn't be helped. Eren had the feeling that
Petra was interested in Levi too and much more than in the "superior-
subordinate" kind of way. But Levi was his now.
"Eren?"
"O-oh, uh, yeah. Whatever happened is gone now. Hanji said she gave him a
potion that heightened his emotions." he chuckled dryly.
Eren jumped and hissed as Petra slapped his head sharply. When had she gotten
behind him? "The fuck was that for?!" he snarled.
"There was a spider on your hair." She narrowed her eyes at his cursing.
He rolled his eyes, huffing as he abandoned his job of setting up the poles.
"I'm sure there was. Look, I'll catch you tomorrow at some point. I'm going up
to Levi's room."
And as he said it, his eyes widened in anticipation. He was going to Levi's
room, with his permission!
***** Chapter 9 *****
Chapter Notes
     SMUT
He entered Levi's room only to be told to bathe not even a minute after he
entered. He knocked on Levi's door, was told to come in, and when he did so, he
was instantly ushered into the bathroom by his shoulders and handed a fresh
face cloth. Concentrating on what Levi said; aha... That was pretty impossible
when his smooth hands were on Eren.
"C-corporal?" he clutched the white face cloth tightly, nails digging into his
palms as he tried to overcome his confusion.
Levi only clicked his tongue in annoyance and abandoned his shoulders in favour
of searching the brown bathroom shelves for a bar of soap. He raised a dark
eyebrow, handing the cream colored bar to Eren. The latter watched with wide
green eyes.
"That's expensive stuff, but if it'll clean that filthy ass of yours, I'll
live."
Maybe Heichou didn't want Eren to be dirty while in his room? He was a neat
freak, as determined by Hanji, so it sort of made sense… Levi was letting Eren
use something expensive… Did Levi really like this soap?! If it was expensive
he must have really treasured it!
"Alright, um. I-I'll get undressed once you leave, then…" Yup, these clothes
were staying on in Levi's presence, no nudity, thank you…
The large oak door clicked shut behind Levi and Eren immediately began peeling
off his clothes, dropping them onto the white tiled floor, and was about to run
the bath water when he realized it was already full. He couldn't help but screw
up his face and hide it in his palms in an attempt to hide a stupid bashful
smile. No matter what anyone else said, Levi was very considerate!
Humming tunelessly, he gently washed himself of the dirt that had gathered on
his body that day, nose wrinkling when he saw how quickly the clean water
changed colour and found a yellow towel on the toilet seat. As he dried himself
with the fabric, he realised that he didn't have a change of clothes. Not that
he minded wearing his previous clothes…
Okay maybe he did, to some extent. I mean, he was used to it because he'd been
too poor for too many clothes, but wouldn't Levi be disgusted by his lack of
cleanliness? He would be as well, not just Levi. The bath's effects would be
reversed if he put them on. Ugh. It was just CLOTHES. His lack of clarity had
to be Levi's fault for overtaking his mind so much.
He hesitated in knocking on the door, feeling stupid for doing so as he called
out "Levi Heichou, sir! I don't have a change of clothes."
Levi's reply was disturbingly nonchalant. "That's alright, just come through."
Eren immediately grimaced, half in shock and half in dread. Had Levi no shame?
And to his surprise, when he wrapped said towel around his tan colored waist
and walked through, he discovered the answer to his question.
Levi lay stark naked on his bed, side on, facing Eren with hooded eyelids
fluttering when he looked over to Eren. He had a dark trail of curling hair
that led down south between two v-shaped muscles and that trail definitely
wasn't that Eren was about to follow.
Levi scowled and almost growled at him. "Come on then, brat. I won't wait for
you all night."
Yes. Yes, this man had absolutely no shame.
"Corporal," Eren began quietly, carefully averting his eyes and trying to
ignore the heat crawling all over his body and the urge to look at Levi's body,
his muscled body that was really pale and supple looking and oh walls- even his
underpants were off. Yes, that would be the meaning of stark naked, Eren, he
reminded himself. "What are you doing, exactly?"
Levi rolled onto his back and gestured with a flick of his wrist for Eren to
come over. Despite every message in his head screaming "ABANDON MISSION!" he
knew he couldn't say no to a direct order and tiptoed across the room,
clutching onto the towel around his waist for dear life, for fear that Levi
would rip it off- which he did as soon as Eren was close enough. Eren yelped at
the sudden intrusion and desperately cupped his growing arousal and turned his
body away from Levi.
"W-what is it you want me to do, sir? W-why d-did you take the towel..?" he
whispered, trembling from the cold or no, from lust.
He had to grit his teeth as the thing hiding in his palms began to react to the
attention of his hands and Levi's presence, not to mention his voice. He stared
at the floor, because what's more of a turn off than a floor lying there doing
absolutely nothing?
"Last time I heard, sex is something done while naked. Unless you have some
other desire to do otherwise?"
Sex? What?! What?!
Eren had several "otherwises" he'd rather do than humiliate himself in front of
Levi with his inexperience and flustered attitude towards the topic. He
flinched as a hand on his shoulder turned him around. Very quickly he came face
to face with Levi, and suddenly he was reminded of the other day when Levi had
hugged him after Erwin "helped" him.
This was still Levi with his hooded lids, sharp grey eyes and his ever present
scowls, but he was still human; he was red in the cheeks and the tip of his
nose -his fucking adorable nose that flicked up at the end. Eren broke into a
small smile when he listened carefully. Yup, Levi was hard of breathing too.
Just like him. He just had to look out for the small details since Levi didn't
really show much on his face.
With his heart beating painfully slow, he leaned in and kept his eyes on
Levi's, chest hitching as he lowered his eyelids and relaxed his face. He
cupped Levi's face in his palms, idly shifting his fingers so that they trailed
from his cheek to underneath his jaw and tilted it up, fascinated at how soft
the skin was. The muscle beneath the fingers wavered.
Levi breathed against his mouth that opened in response. "Why are you touching
me like that?"
"Becaaaause, I'm delicate with important stuff?"
Levi paused for a long moment, doing nothing but stare at him with an
expression he couldn't quite place. Eren stared back, moving to run his hands
through his hair and grimacing in guilt, obviously having taken things too
far... The next thing he knew, a gasp was being drawn from him when Levi
grabbed the back of his head, pressed their mouths together and kissed him;
drawing out all the breath in his lungs. It made his legs weak at the joint,
until he was tumbling onto the perfectly made, white bed with Levi beneath him.
When their cocks knocked against each other, Eren leaped up, yelping into
Levi's mouth as he tried to escape the older man's grasp that refused to let go
of him.
This was going to be a reeeeally long night.
Somehow managing to keep a safe distance between their dicks, Eren leaned into
the older man's mouth. Levi's hand that was clutching his head moved with him.
Eren's lips were vibrating beneath Levi's soft ones, then his whole body
shuddered as he felt a slow sigh on his cheek, dipping into the corner of his
mouth. A warm hand rubbed his hip sensually and the muscle there twitched.
Think Eren, where do hands go?
Before he could do anything with his useless limbs, Levi was sitting up on his
knees and pushing harder into his mouth with a quiet groan that he couldn't
help but echo with one of his own.
Well… It seemed as though he'd given his first kiss to someone who liked him,
right?
Eren's back arched involuntarily as Levi's hand drifted from his hair to his
neck, lips warm and soft and just ever so slightly wet, fingerprints dragging
along his nape with need. Eren swallowed thickly at the sensation as they
parted and panted shortly between each other.
A juddering gasp of air tore through his body, heart beating so low in his
chest that it was painful. His lips buzzed with the loss of contact. He cringed
at his lack of experience as Levi went cross-eyed, hiding grey irises beneath
hooded lids and caressed Eren's lips with his smouldering ones yet again.
This was really happening… And Eren had no idea what to do!
His hands were still hanging limply by his sides. He frigidly moved them to the
same place as Levi's hands on his own body. His thumb brushed the angle where
the jaw met Levi's thick but delicate looking neck and the skin stretched
languidly, allowing his digit more room to roam. It was almost like drifting a
finger over an flawless expanse of snow. Cosy, delicate snow…
Was Levi's heart beating just as wildly as his? Just as he reached his palm
down, thumb accidentally brushing Levi's pale collarbone, Levi shifted once
again and broke away from Eren's mouth with a hiss.
"Fuck, my legs are killing me." he complained irritably. "Can't get comfortable
at all like this." He glared at Eren momentarily and the younger man squeaked
in reply.
"S-sorry sir! Um, I don't really know, how, um-"
Suddenly Eren felt a stare on his lower half and looked down at Levi to see
that his eyes had widened in what seemed to be alarm at the sight of his
growing arousal. He looked away from the black haired man, heat burning on his
cheeks. Was the corporal shocked and disgusted with the state of his lewd body?
As though realisation had just struck him, Levi cleared his throat and lay down
on the bed with a straight face.
Levi laid his legs by Eren's sides, peering at the man above him with darkened
eyes and a steady stare that spoke volumes. "Make yourself comfortable and
enter me when you're ready."
And just like that, the pre-cum started dribble out the head of Eren's dick
(which, for the record, was not the same colour as his flushing cheeks, as Levi
had once asked) and onto his stomach as he gulped back a breathy moan.
With an intense gaze of his own, Eren watched as Levi's eyes promptly closed
and the man beneath him stilled. Um. Now what? He tried tracing his nails down
Levi thigh just the way Eren liked to do, gradually getting closer to the man's
arousal that he hungrily challenged with his eyes. The muscle wavered beneath
his touches, but Levi's face never changed its neutral expression.
It was a pretty decent cock. Magnificent. Better than his own (the only other
penis he was able to compare Levi's to); uncut, with a supple pinkness peeking
through the foreskin, pale green veins cascading up the length that his tongue
burned for, even though it had never tasted it before. Despite swallowing, his
mouth stayed dry. Each unsteady breath he took echoed in the silent room and
lingered in his mouth that he licked the inside of. What would Levi's tongue
feel like if it were doing the same?
Timidly, he crawled forward. He placed his hands at each of Levi's sides, thin
bones of ribs heaving ever so slightly and the muscle rippled as he kissed the
skin there. But in doing so, his hips dipped down only an inch or so and once
again he came into contact with Levi's cock. For some reason, Levi lifted his
neck up and his hips bucked into Eren's as he growled.
"What are you doing?"
Eren blinked at the chest in front of him, small nipples beginning to bud that
he watched grow in fascination. He shook his head to try and concentrate. "I… I
don't really know. Whatever… feels good?"
"Put it in me. That's what you want right? To get rid of your frustrations."
Eren couldn't read his face, and Levi's body went back to being frozen in place
on his bed.
… Get rid of his frustrations? Was that some kind of dirty talk that Eren
wasn't aware of? Some roundabout way of saying to go in really hard and heavy?
But the way Levi said it made him think that in order to have sex you had to
have a purpose. Maybe that's why couples had sex? Well, that sort of made
sense. Eren especially, since he'd been cooped up in that dark and dour cell
with only his hand to keep him company. Lots of frustration there. Needless to
say, his desires never made the smell of the basement any better.
Determined to elicit a response from Levi's body, Eren licked his lips which
puckered at the attention, nipping them with his teeth, then moving onto Levi's
body. He nipped the underside of Levi's breast tissue, moving up to lick the
nipple and swirled the bud around his aching tongue that was nothing compared
to the yearning in his lower half.
He grinded his pelvis onto Levi's, attempting to multitask, but failing as the
friction down there proved to be more satisfying. He used his hand to steady
both of their dicks and thrust into it, either hoping the movement would
satisfy Levi or make him want to move so that he also felt good. Because for
his boyfriend, that was important! Mutual feelings, and so on; that had to work
both ways.
Seeing as his hand was now preoccupied and his hips were moving, he kept
nudging into Levi's body. The odd sound of skin slapping against skin and his
solo and increasingly rapid pants and moans felt foreign in the quiet room. It
was like he needed to be drunk to do this and the alarming stillness of Levi
and their surroundings made him all that much more sober.
He ducked his head down to kiss Levi, only able to peck him on the bottom lip.
When he tried leaning forward, his other arm that was supporting him buckled
and he ended up toppling onto Levi with his hand jammed between their bodies
and Levi had the breath pushed out of him. Eren's eyes bulged in horror.
"I'm so sorry sir!"
Eren scrambled to sit up on his knees, but his knee caps caught onto the skin
of Levi's ass. Levi only grinded his teeth together at the pain, peeling one
eye open to glower at Eren, glancing downwards for a split second.
"You're still erect."
Eren bashfully ran his hand through his hair, then realized it was his dirty
hand and lamely took it out, placing it by his side. He crossed his legs,
facing Levi's horizontal body (and also his not so horizontal erection).
"Whatever. Let's just switch if you're going to be like that." If Eren had
puppy dog ears, they'd have drooped to the sides of his head at the scolding.
"Sorry." he mumbled and made his way to lie in Levi's place.
The other man flipped their positions without any haste and immediately wrapped
his hand around Eren's cock, using the pre-cum as a lubricant that had Eren
jolting, twitching and writhing in the sheets. His hand kept moving in a steady
pace that Eren knew would make him go delirious, and soon.
His position over Eren, with his hand holding himself steady allowed his
shallow breaths to wash over Eren , basking him in Levi's scent of a musk that
he couldn't quite label, couldn't decide whether he liked it or not, but it
somehow aroused him anyway. His member swelled and throbbed in Levi's grip, his
own hips now lifting up to meet Levi's thrusting hand.
"F-fuuuuck. That, ah, feels really good Levi Heichou… Sir. A-aren't you going
to tuh-touch your..self?"
Levi was so close to him, their chests were swapping beads of sweat and it had
Eren mad with the desire to attack Levi's mouth again. He licked the inside of
his own mouth, eyes closing when he didn't hear Levi's answer.
At first, when he started moaning repeatedly, he tried to stifle it. But then
Levi's hand increased its speed when all that came out were gargling sounds,
faster until the sounds properly made their way out his mouth -was Levi making
sounds?- oh yes, yes, yes. His noises were low and deep grunts and breathy
sighs that made Eren squirm against the cotton sheets and made the inside of
his stomach feel ticklish and jittery. His cold pre-cum on Levi's hand hit
against his pelvis and Eren's mouth formed an O shape, so close, not quite
there yet, but so close.
"L-Levi please, touch yourself for me. Kiss me. Please, just do something, I
can't reach you if you don't lean down-"
As though he'd been waiting for permission, Levi quickly lowered his chest onto
Eren's, knowing he'd have to bear the pain for a while. Levi hid his face in
the crook of Eren's neck, black hair tickling his jaw, hips jolting when he
felt Levi's cock rubbing and sliding against the underside of his, his slender
hand fisting them both. It was getting hard to breath, but somehow that just
intensified the weightless feeling he wanted, the one he'd been waiting for.
Levi came before he did, and as soon as he finished rolling out his orgasm, he
lifted his hand away, before seeing Eren's still hard arousal that was even
more erect now that he knew exactly what Levi sounded like when he came; a
choked sob that was completely unlike his usual stoic manner.
His eyes were wide and feral looking as they met Eren's. Red lips open and
panting brokenly, until one pant was just a heavy but satisfied sounding sigh.
Not taking his eyes off Eren, he moved his hand back to Eren's cock and the
sensation of his fingers gliding over the sensitive skin there was just as
intense as it was before. Eren felt his face distort and pulse in pleasure, his
hips gyrated against Levi's friction, anything for that feeling, more, he
wanted more-
His voice was unrecognizably shaky. "Kiss me Levi, p-please just kiss me. I
need it."
Levi retreated from his neck and yanked Eren's head up so quickly that Eren was
sure that Levi intended to break his neck, but he only slammed their lips
together roughly, much more powerfully than before, and he was kissing Eren
with a fervour that seemed misplaced in such a man.
Levi's tongue felt like a sponge of sorts. A similar feeling to his own like
when he rolled the muscle inside his mouth, only this, this is much more
intoxicating. Reaching every area of the inside of his mouth, crashing into his
most sensitive areas until Eren was yelping into his mouth, mind a messy haze,
his balls tightened and he was finally seeing white and his hips are jolting
this way and that, into Levi's smooth hand.
He opened his eyes after a few beats. There was some kind of swelling in his
chest as Levi gazed into his eyes with pink cheeks, a swelling that rose
upwards like heat in a cold room. Made him feel giddy and loved and wonderful.
There needed to be words to tell Levi how he felt, words that would let Levi
feel them too, so that Levi understood how much this moment meant to him.
Only, Eren had a headache. Probably from pushing his arousal through too much.
It quite often happened after he jerked off. Levi was trying to find a cloth to
wipe his hand with, telling Eren not to move so that nothing spilled from his
stomach. Eren's eyebrows twitched in surprise. He came that much? No wonder his
cum got onto his shirt the other day. The air seemed colder after Levi left the
room to go into the bathroom and Eren sneezed loudly, shivering on top of the
bed covers. Levi would make him change the sheets, huh. He might kick him out
too…
Then again, they were boyfriends, right? So he shouldn't be that harsh…
Levi returned and hovered over him with a damp cloth, first moving to clean the
sweat from his brow that had him sighing in relief, then onto his stained
stomach.
"You never entered me." Levi stated plainly, glimpsing at Eren from the corner
of his eyes. Eren simply shrugged, toes curling a little in embarrassment. Levi
sure had a way with words…
"I don't think I was ready for that, sir. Besides, what if I had collapsed on
you again? You'd get hurt." he grinned impishly from beneath brown bangs,
revelling in that familiar but eternally odd and weightless feeling that hugs
his heart tightly. It was like an orgasm, but in his chest! And… more romantic.
From the tender look in Levi's eyes, Eren guessed he must feel the same.
"After all, I'm delicate with anything that's important to me."
Levi ducked his head minutely, pausing before he returned the cloth to the
bathroom. "Why do you keep saying that." he muttered, almost growling out the
question said as a statement.
Eren sat up and tilted his head, searching Levi's half hidden face. This was…
something similar to what happened before, wasn't it? When Levi was under the
potion, he got all shy when Eren was asking him questions… Maybe Hanji was
right, and that really had been the real Levi, but a Levi who was completely
exposed.
He reached out to touch Levi's silky neck, leaning into his enveloping presence
and touching his faintly dusted cheek with the back of his fingers. Eren might
have his lover naked right in front of him, but there would always be more to
expose underneath all the layers and walls that he created each day.
"Mmm… It's true, sir."
Eren did end up staying the night (and changing the sheets), which Levi told
him was to avoid suspicion once again. The elite soldiers would be fine with
it, Levi told him, but he reckoned that Erwin might not be. Eren wasn't really
sure why, but decided not to ask, due to the dark look on Levi's face as he
told him.
That would be his new mission to keep him entertained; find out what the hell
had gone on between Levi and Erwin. They fell asleep side by side on the narrow
bed. Eren's eyes were heavy and aching as he waited for Levi to fall asleep. He
subtly wrapped an arm around his slender (still bare!) waist and swiftly
followed into slumber.
He woke up to a youthful corporal face, with Levi's eyebrows smoothed out so
that he wasn't scowling. Eren had to touch him to make sure he wasn't dreaming.
The sunlight shining directly onto his face helped reassure him that he wasn't
dreaming (well, not anymore, thanks to the sunrise and the unclosed curtains).
He did let his mind wonder though, wondering what the hell couples actually did
and if he should attempt to recreate a date here at the castle. Aahh. See. This
was why soldiers weren't supposed to be in relationships. It got them
distracted and turned them all soft.
Even so… the sunlit, peaceful face Levi wore as he slept was something Eren
thought would be worth it. He kissed Levi's nose, right on the bit where it
turned red, and Levi's eyes instantly opened and flickered between his. Eren's
mouth pulled down at the corners in fear as he was scrutinized.
Eventually Levi let out a breath onto Eren's mouth that now needed to feel
Levi's against it, leaving his mind blank for a second.
"Morning, brat."
Eren turned his face into the white pillow bashfully, fighting a lopsided grin
and the desire to squirm. "Morning, Heichou."
Levi had his face squashed into the pillow and he lifted his arms to cuddle it,
closing his eyes blissfully. Walls! It was cute! Why was Eren's lower half
responding to it?!
"Last night was really good." he blurted.
The entirety of Levi's body froze rigid and his eyes shot open. What a way to
react… Did... Did Levi regret kind-of-but-not-really having sex with him?
A little while later after they showered and dressed in sombre silence, they
ate breakfast in the dining hall. Gunther handed him a plate on a tray and cup
of liquid as usual then moved to sit down beside Erd. Eren was tempted to mime
a heart shape with his fingers with the two of them in the gap. Just to mock
them for always being with each other. And for the time they mocked him for
being overly attentive to Levi. Still, it was sweet. He went to his normal seat
at the end of the table so that the others wouldn't have to sit by him.
His nostril twitched when he saw it was omelette again. It was fucking bad
enough that Jean won a cooking competition for stealing his mom's recipe but
for the Survey Corps to make it their apparent go-to breakfast meal? Ugh. Good
thing Eren was taught to eat what he was given.
Levi sat across the table from him, and suddenly Eren remembered what he had
said before about them having sex, or lack thereof at the time. So Levi thought
he wouldn't be brave enough to look him in the eye? Think again, good sir!
Eren's bright green eyes blatantly stared over at Levi until they caught his,
and he had to fight the urge to look away, understandably so, but he held his
ground even as a smirk made its way onto his face and until Levi was the first
to look away. Levi's eyes dropped to his tea, seemingly unimpressed. Maybe that
was just his face though? Surely he'd know what Eren was doing.
Internally, he shrugged and set about devouring the meal in front of him;
washing away his anxieties with the drink he'd been given.
***** Chapter 10 *****
Chapter Notes
     I can't tell you why yet, but Eren says things out loud without
     meaning to, and the things he says is in italics/bold when he's
     speaking, and throughout the narrative. eheh sorry if it's annoying,
     but it was quite difficult to put across so that people understand
     what's going on...
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Three hours after breakfast when they were in the middle of a strategy meeting
with Erwin and the rest of the group, Eren kept hearing someone mumbling.
Why were they talking? They were doing important stuff, so surely they wouldn't
try to interrupt Erwin… proving to besohelpful with his roundabout
explanations…
Erwin turned from the blackboard to give him a stern look. It was like Shadis's
glare, only more threatening. "Eren, is there something wrong with how I'm
teaching?"
Eren looked at him in surprise, looking to the others around him as they
regarded him curiously. Nothing was wrong? "No, sir, your teaching is fine."
They managed to get into the rhythm again, but all the while Eren kept hearing
an oddly familiar voice. Maybe it was just the voice in his head? Who knew?
Although the blonde man's teaching was alright, to some degree, looking at Levi
proved to be a good way for him to take a break every now and then.
He'd seemed so shocked when Eren had told him last night was good… Maybe he
didn't think it was good? Of course it wasn't, he fell on top of him! Made him
do all the hard work! Maybe Levi hadn't liked it?Eren gasped fearfully.
Maybe Levi didn't even like him?! Maybe it had just been a one night stand?
Walls that made sense, seeing as he never explicitly told Eren he returned his
feelings… Maybe he'd just been looking for a good lay? Maybe Auruo was right
and he was only in it for a good-
A ruler hitting off his desk almost had Eren screaming. He raised his head from
looking down at his paper and soon regretted the decision.
"EREN." Erwin had his scary face on. Ooh that meant bad news. "Please do us a
favor and keep your thoughts to yourself."
"Y-yes sir!" He glanced over at Levi. Now he was really uncertain where he
stood with Levi and now he'd end up being really clingy and emotional and girly
and he wouldn't like that and Levi would probably kick him out the door if he
tried to talk to him again.
Levi shot him an odd look that might have passed as confused but hey, with Levi
you just never know what he's actually feeling.
"Mm I agree with you there Eren." Petra spoke up from behind and he spun round
in his stiff wooden chair. He shot a hand to the spot where she'd slapped a
spider off his head. A spider? No, that wasn't it, was it…
From the devilish look on Petra's face, Eren guessed what he'd feared was true.
He turned back around, raising his hand in the air for permission to speak from
Erwin, who duly nodded.
"I'm afraid I won't be able to follow your orders, sir…" He shot a glance over
at Levi and the heat instantly began to crawl over his face.
Thanks to Petra, dammit she was in cahoots with Hanji! And Gunther! Eren
thought he could trust the man! He couldn't keep his thoughts to himself.
===============================================================================
 
The sad truth was that Eren was still a young teenager. His hormones did all
sorts of crazy things when he was around Levi, or even just thinking of the
man.
Except now his most embarrassing nightmare had come true.
They had to continue the strategy meeting even with Eren's near to constant
interruptions -well it wasn't like he could control it. Interruptions that were
apparently his voiced thoughts.
But he never really knew when his mouth was moving and when it wasn't. It
happened all without his permission, as though some kind of mind-to-mouth
filter had been taken off of him. It was especially terrible when Eren had to
squirm on the hard wood of the chair, kick his toes against the hard stone of
the ground; all for the effort of keeping his lips tightly sealed and paying
attention to Erwin's lecture.
However, it only took one look at Levi and when the gorgeous man shifted his
hand to adjust his cloud coloured cravat around his neck or lick his lips or
even just run a set of long, pale fingers through his raven coloured hair, Eren
would fall into a trance clouded by hormones and bubbling... feelings. And of
course, Eren would think of something ridiculous.
Eren wanted to rip Levi's shirt open with his teeth.
Ooh butterflies, get out his stomach!
He wanted to lick his way up Levi's legs and his abdominals.
Stop blushing!
Levi turned Eren into a Titan so hard.
More often than not, Levi would look over at him in confusion mixed with
disgust and Petra would try to stifle her infectious giggles in her white shirt
sleeve, hiding her face on the table as she pretended to work and looked at
papers. That witch.
That is, until Auruo grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling Eren's face near his
so that his putrid breath was mixing with Eren's and telling him ever so
politely to "shut the fuck up" . But Auruo's face was scratchy with stubble and
as Eren tried to pull away, all he could think about was the horrible sensation
of Auruo's greasy facial hair.
Auruo's face whiskers were stroking him.
It was exactly at the point when Eren collapsed back into his seat, safely out
of Auruo's clutches, that Petra fell off her chair in a fit of desperate
laughter and even Levi had to roll his eyes in dismay. Erwin ended up having to
call the whole meeting off, due to "Eren's unfortunateillness", with a steady
glare sent in his direction.
Across the room, he could've sworn he heard Levi snort and saw him covering a
smirk discreetly behind a loose fist. He couldn't help but grin at the sight
and nibble at his lip. Cute!
It just so happened that today was also laundry day, seeing as it was nice and
sunny outside. Everyone was out in the back yard for the job, except Erwin, who
had Levi clean his things for him since he had a meeting with an MP to attend.
Eren couldn't help but stare at Erwin's clothes piled in the water with a look
of disgust and watched with furrowed eyebrows as Levi scrubbed at a certain
item of Erwin's. He didn't even want to think about how many erections that man
had had in those particular set of briefs-
Levi jolted and threw the dark green briefs away in a mild panic, eyes slightly
wider than normal. The grey orbs narrowed again when he glared over at Eren as
he sat by his washing basin on the grass.
"Can you not put me off of my job?" he spat. "I'm having a hard enough time as
it is to clean these dirty things."
Clean Eren instead, then. He's fucking filthy.Levi lobbed a sponge in his
direction, hitting him bang on in the middle of his face. This would be where
he died. He wiped the soapy water of his face, brushing back his wet bangs with
a determined growl.
He raised an eyebrow and asked daringly. "Are you starting something, sir?"
It seemed that he was, because next thing he knew; Levi had poured the contents
of his basin onto Eren, who screamed at the icy sensation so loudly that
everyone jumped up from their wash basins in a panic.
"YOU BASTARD!" He got Eren wet!
"Eren! We really don't need to know how wet Levi gets you! Too much
information, ha!" Eld chortled, spilling some of the water from his own basin
as he toppled onto the ground as his legs weakened in amusement. "Save it for
the second date, at least..."
Eren swirled around in the blond man's direction. "I'm not fucking joking, you-
" As he tried to swagger over to Eld's place, he slipped on the puddle on in
the grass beneath him and yelped. Levi ground his head into the squelching mud
with his the heel of his boot, making Eren cough into the mud.
"Okay, okay! I'm sorry!"
===============================================================================
 
Despite the warm temperature outside, Eren managed to get a cold, as could be
told from his monstrous sneezing and hacking coughs. After a short but warm
shower, he was forced to change into his sleeping clothes while his civilian
ones were washed by Petra, who even though he blamed for partially causing the
potion that he now loathed, was decidedly the best at cleaning, other than
himself and Levi. Levi thought he cleaned really well!He was Levi's favourite
cleaning tool!
With a giddy feeling settled in his stomach, he was led to Levi's room so that
Levi could do something useful while watching over "the filthy brat". The only
thing filthy about Erennowwas his mind. "Oh, I know that all too well, brat."
And he wasn't a brat."You are to me, now get your ass moving." Eren jumped at
the feeling of Levi's hand slapping his ass lightly. Maybe not in a spanking
sense, but it was pretty close...
The room was just as he remembered; pale brown walls, perfectly neat and tidy
with a looming bookshelf in one corner and a narrow bed they had both slept in
only this morning.Levi glanced warily over at him from where he was about to
sit at his desk. But when Eren lay down on the burgundy couch without another
word, apart from his internal mumblings, Levi shrugged his shoulders and looked
away again.
"Don't disturb me while I'm working, got it?"
"Yes sir."
But to both their dismay, Eren couldn't stick his given orders.
Why did Levi deny the fact he read mystery novels?Clearly there were plenty of
them on the bookshelf.His bright green eyes hovered over the dark book spines,
unable to read the titles properly. Maybe Levi could teach him to read?Finding
Levi with his eyes once again, he watched as the black haired man ran his
fingers through his undercut, writing furiously with a quill in his right hand.
What made him get a haircut like that? Did he find himself attractive-?
"Unlike you, I don't have a big ego. I don't care about how I look." He was
lying. Levi cared about how clean he was and that counted as looks.Eren lifted
his head from the couch cushion at the grumble of Levi's irritated voice. He
tilted his head and considered what Levi said.
He hummed thoughtfully. "Maybe not, but you do have a big ego in another way.
You can be conceited sometimes." he pointed out proudly.
"How so?"
"Well, I guess it's kind of rich coming from me considering I idolised you as a
kidbut you think you're better than everyone. You talk down to everyone
especially me since you call me a brat so often. Not to mention your voice is
so flat and emotionless it's like you don't care about anyone but yourself. You
hardly talk to anyone, you're that standoffish.That's egoistical, isn't it?"
Not that Eren didn't admire his talents...He certainly admired the shift in his
hips when he moved to spin around like a graceful spinning top, flying through
the air like he was unstoppable.
Levi shifted his feet in his chair with a sigh, turning to face Eren as he
lounged an arm along the back of the chair. "I know that I'm good at my job.
When I need something and threaten not to do it, I remind them that they need
me. Then they shit their pants when they realize that and shut up."
Eren's eyes widened. He slowly raised himself to a sitting position on the
couch. "You are important to humanity. And to Eren. Did he realize that?I just
hope you don't let your pride get the better of you or think that you're
inhuman and can do things better than you actually can." Levi's features
softened, but Eren still couldn't tell what he was thinking. You're like my
sister.
The soft look wavered and Levi looked at him plainly. "Considering the things
we did last night, I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that." Levi turned
away again, and Eren realized his mistake and was torn between laughing and
point blank horror. Wait, no, not like his sister in that way-
He grabbed at his hair with a meaningless and frustrated noise. He flopped back
down onto the couch like a huffing child in a tantrum. Eren closed his eyes for
some time, waiting for Levi to finish working or doing whatever paperwork he
had to do.
===============================================================================
 
He wasted some time, daydreaming about the Levi that wasn't Levi. The normal
Levi. The playful gleam in Levi's eye when he'd poured water over Eren. The
fearful look he had when Eren told Levi he was important to him...
Everyone called Eren Humanity's Last Hope, but the truth was that Levi was much
more capable than him and to Eren: Levi was his last hope. Therefore he was the
most important person of all.
A soft sensation on his face awakened him a while later. He peered out of
scarcely opened eyelids and found that Levi was caressing his cheek gently
while reading a book; his head was resting on Levi's lap. He suppressed a
delighted shiver and closed his eyes, enjoying the warm, feather light
sensation as he was swayed with overpowering emotions churning in his chest, in
his stomach. Levi's knees rocked gently beneath his head, massaging his scalp.
Levi's smooth thumb traced over his jaw line, making the corner of his lips
curl upwards as he tried not to give away that he was awake. He let out a shaky
breath and revelled in the attention, knowing it would stop once Eren was
"awake."
"You keep talking about how you have to stop me from knowing that you're awake,
but I don't think that quite works when you've already alerted me that you're
awake with your dumb, big mouth." Eren froze, desperately pretending to be
asleep and trying to keep his breathing even. Levi smelled so nice... Like,
like soap! And happiness! That was a smell, right?
"Unless you sleep talk? That'd be interesting. I'm telling Petra everything you
said later." he continued to stroke Eren's face. "I'm totally talking to myself
right now. Yup. Damn brat, wake up so I don't sound so stupid."
He prodded Eren lightly on the chin with the pad of his finger while Eren bit
the inside of his lip to keep up the pretence of being asleep.
Levi breath ghosted over his cheeks and he moved his hands to rub Eren's
forearms, shifting the fabric up and down with each movement so that goosebumps
trailed down his arms. Eren really needed to kiss him... "Huh. Looks like I
don't need to order him around to make him go red."
...
What.
After a hesitant pause where Eren felt Levi hovering over him, possibly staring
at him. His gaze burned through Eren's skin so passionately that Eren knew what
Levi was doing, even with his eyes firmly shut. He couldn't help but gulp from
the pressure as his heart sped up, waiting for Levi to do something. He was
rewarded for his patience as he felt a sweet gasp of air brushing over his lips
as damp warmth was placed on his cheek.
Naturally, Eren had to ruin the moment by covering his face in embarrassment
and squealing quietly while Levi cursed and moved away, leaving Eren to roll
onto the floor into a puddle of feelings.
Chapter End Notes
     IMPORTANT: the italicised narrative and speech are what Eren says out
     loud, unintentionally!! Just another reminder for the perfect reading
     experience ;)
***** Chapter 11 *****
Eren glanced out the polished window and ran fingers through his hair. His
green eyes flickered between the dull sky and Levi’s back as he cleaned the
hallway floor in his civilian clothes, as though waiting for the shorter man to
say something to him. Clicking his tongue in boredom, his stare lingered on the
familiar head beneath a white cleaning bandanna.
 
This place was, in fact, the very same stone-walled hallway in which Eren had
confessed to Levi; the memory of flustered desperation, the heat of
embarrassment, and the dryness of the words sticking in his throat made the
idea of curling up into a ball very appealing.
 
To be fair on his own behalf, he was the kind of person to show how he felt
through actions rather than vocally. It was more meaningful that way, and less
uncomfortable, depending on what he had to do. Levi seemed to be much the same:
like now. As Eren got closer he watched Levi’s plain expression. Dark eyebrows
tensionless, mouth a straight line and the calm look in hooded grey eyes meant
that this was probably the happiest Levi would ever appear.
 
However, when it came to showing Eren how he felt, it was more like he was
doing things when the shifter wouldn’t be aware of it. If he did show Eren how
he felt by doing little things, then they were probably too little for him to
notice... Except for that time a few days ago when Levi kissed him on the
cheek, under the assumption Eren was sleeping. Did he not want Eren to know
that he was doing sweet things? Or maybe he was suppressing the desire to do
so?
 
After the potion had worn off, they went back to their regular lives. They
still saw each other in the mornings when they spoke about the plans for the
day, and Eren would pester Levi with questions completely unrelated to the
topic, but since they were so busy and in public more often than not, it was
kind of impossible to do anything couple-y. Especially since Eren couldn’t help
but get flustered around Levi, but at times like this he could at least try...
Biting his lip, he wandered over to Levi, placing a palm onto the older man’s
back and relishing the moment of warmth. Levi paused in his scrubbing.
 
“D-do you need help with that, sir?” As he lifted his hand away, the tips of
his fingers trailed down taut, clothed muscle. He continued quietly.”Normally
I’d jump at the chance of some free time, but with you working away like
that... It just makes me want to join you.”
 
Glimpsing at Eren, Levi shook his head. “I’m fine here. Do what you want, kid,
but don’t get reckless. If you want to help out I’m not stopping you. Just make
sure you actually clean it properly.” He returned to scrubbing circles onto the
stone floor, carefully cleaning the area so as not to miss a spot.
 
Eren raised his fist in front of his chest in victory, clenching it loosely
with a grin. “I better go find some cleaning equipment then.”
 
Sometime later, the green eyed boy found himself knee deep in elbow grease as
he cleaned according to Levi’s instructions. If there was one thing he could
change about him... well. When sweat dripped down his brow, he sat up from his
crouched position, noting with an envious frown that Levi didn’t seem out of
breath in the least.
 
“How aren’t you tired?” Levi met his unwavering stare. Despite the heat in his
cheeks; the overwhelming urge to look away, to hide his grin behind hands,
wasn’t given into. “You never seem to go to bed and yet you’re so... active,
all the time.” Maybe his tea had super-energy fuel... That could possibly
explain Hanji.
 
“I don’t really get tired. And there’s not really much point in going to bed if
I don’t sleep.”
 
“What, ever? You never sleep?” Levi’s eyes fell to the floor, his free hand
curling and uncurling as he tightened his lips.
 
Eren’s eyes dropped to his mouth before the black haired man spoke again. “I do
sleep sometimes, it’s just... No matter how drowsy I get, it takes ages for me
to fall asleep, if I do at all.”
 
“Maybe it’s stress?” Eren offered. “I wouldn’t be surprised, what with all the
work you have to do and the pressure of being in a position of power. Or maybe
it’s your diet? Sometimes even just have a regular sleeping pattern can help
people go to sleep.”
 
Levi’s pale hand reached for his neck, his cravat absent. “Aren’t you quite the
doctor, huh?” he raised an eyebrow and slowly blinked at Eren almost curiously.
“It seems you’ve gone into the wrong profession.”
 
He’d gone into the wrong profession? Eren’s light smile dropped. Being a titan
shifter hadn’t exactly been his childhood dream, though he had decided to go
into the survey corps only three years ago... Ah yes, because he’d had so much
choice in the matter, what with the attack and his parents-
 
“My mom would’ve said something like that. She did tell me something similar,
actually.”
 
“Sounds like a sensible woman. Shame her son never picked up on that trait.” He
dipped the cloth into the bucket, rinsing it with a tender squeeze as he looked
at Eren out the corner of his eye. “Then again, that’s what makes you
interesting, different from all those idiots that want to go into the military
police for the sake of safety. After all, no-one rational would have as much
determination as you.”
 
“Are you implying I’m crazy?” But more importantly, interesting?
 
“You’re not quite at Hanji’s level of crazy, but you will be. Give it time.”
 
Eren moved so he was sitting cross legged, uncaring about the fact his ass was
getting soaked and propped an elbow onto his leg, resting his chin upon his
warm palm. “I’d rather not give that possibility anything, especially not
time.”
 
He sighed, hugging his legs to his chest as though to make up for another body.
“I’d prefer to-” Give my time to you, he wanted to say. The words rested on the
tip of his tongue and festered within the realms of his inner monologue.
“Train. I’d prefer to train.” He finished lamely.
 
“That’s not what you were going to say.” Eren’s captain glared at him. “Lying
by omission won’t get you anywhere in this place. Leave the politics to Erwin.
Tell me.”
 
“I-it’s stupid.” The truth was a childish thought, a dependent one, which Levi
would think less of him for. A thought like that would never cross the mind of
someone like Levi.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
A few hours later saw them sitting in the dining room, sipping tea after a
vigorous workout in the backyard. At Levi’s insistence, all of them had
showered, clean in preparation of the experiment planned later on. Petra and
Gunther sat to Eren’s left and right-but not directly beside him, as he was in
his usual space that didn’t have room for another chair. The others chattered,
leaving Eren to his own thoughts until Petra addressed him in a whisper.
 
“Hey Eren, you know something? Levi never used to have tea breaks when he was
put in charge of training us.” She told him, a dimple in cheek as she smiled at
him.
 
“Really?”
 
She nodded and strawberry blonde hair rustled at her shoulders. “Maybe the
newest addition to our squad made him have a change of heart.”
 
A heat sprouted from the pit of his stomach. “Really...?” his eyes lit up as he
searched for Levi, finding him slouched between Gunther and Eld. Grey orbs met
his in a deadpan stare, yet he couldn’t fight the small smile growing on his
blushing face even as he turned away. Urgh, why did he have to blush? Petra was
just teasing him... “That’s good to know.”
 
A slap on his shoulder from behind startled him out of his daydreams. “Woah!”
 
“Experiment!” Hanji cried. “Let’s waste no time, off we go!” he took one last
sipof his tea, savouring the taste he once explored on Levi’s lips, rolling his
eyes at hanji’s chants of ‘come on come on come on’. As soon as he made a move
to stand up, Hanji clamped a hand over his shirt sleeve and dragged him outside
while the others followed.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
“I don’t feel safe doing this.”
 
“But life is full of risks, Eren. Stepping out the comfort zone and challenging
death is the only-“ Levi brought Hanji down from her enthusiastic preaching as
he glowered at her.
 
Eren shivered, partly from the cold rain, mostly from the intensity of Levi’s
stare fortunately not aimed at him. “Don’t mention death. Do you really think
saying shit like that will calm him down?”
 
Hanji frowned sadly, raindrops coating her glasses. “But-“
 
“I’ll take it from here. Go make sure your notes don’t get wet or round up your
subordinates if you want to be useful.” He turned to Eren who nodded at him
gratefully, his eyes a mix between fondness and appreciation.
 
“I didn’t mean to scare you Eren, sorry.” Hanji left them and they began
walking to the well, reminding Eren so much of their early morning walks that
he couldn’t help but smile. Even the sharp smell of cold was the same, though
the wind was new.
 
“Let me guess, you’re scared of the dark.”
 
Eren eyed him warily. “Why do you think that?”
 
“You didn’t deny it. Taht, and the fact you always lose bodily tension when I
bring the candle to your cell. I’m used to being in the dark so it’s easy to
tell when someone’s uncomfortable in it. All you have to go on are your
thoughts, and sometimes that can be the scariest thing there is.”
 
“That’s deep.” Levi’s words tore into Eren’s insides. He realized how close to
home they hit.
 
Levi looked down into the well. “Yeah. Literally.” Eren lifted a hand to his
mouth to disguise his snort of laughter. Meeting Levi’s line of vision he
grimaced. “So I guess I really have to do this-“
 
“Yes, now hurry up. I’m getting wet, brat.” That prompted a dirty joke to
conjure in Eren’s mind, but he begrudgingly toed at the muddy grass instead.
Levi’s guard rose when he saw Eren gazing at him, at his mouth when droplets of
water landed onto his lips as they fell from the hood, drenching his green cape
so that it clung to him closely.
 
“... What is it?” Levi asked.
 
It wasn’t like he needed it... He’d gone down the well before. And boy didn’t
that just go so swell. Levi was at the ready to protect everyone, and other
than that it was every man for himself; all of the soldiers obviously prepared
for that scenario. But a kiss... A kiss would give him some courage, sending it
rushing through his veins in a surge of adrenaline, giving him the sweet taste
of reassurance and keep him grounded in reality while giving him a little bit
of optimism.
 
He hurriedly left a cheap kiss on Levi’s cheek, his own burning as he stumbled
down rocks to the pit of the well. Wasn’t long enough, he knew. Maybe if it had
been drawn out and anticipated by both of them, it would’ve been a more tender
exchange. Levi had disappeared by the time he looked up. Focus. He had to be
ready, so he stood upright as he awaited instructions with the obliviousness of
a true soldier.
 
 
***** Chapter 12 *****
Chapter Notes
     Levi /can/ feel stuff, he knows he has feelings, he just doesn't know
     how to name it or describe it (although I took some liabilities as an
     author and put in a few basic emotive words: like annoying, angry,
     sad, happy to reflect how limited his understanding ranges.)
It was fairly annoying to know that the Survey Corps superiors had slept on
cotton blankets while Levi and the other soldiers made do with woollen covers
and scratchy potato sacks dumped on the floor. Here you go: have a bed. Then
again, now that Levi was one of those superiors, he could make sure that
everyone at least had a futon and a pillow of sorts. He didn't usually use his
privileges, namely the bed and alcohol, so that left him to fulfil his duties
and maintain his responsibilities. Levi had a habit of working when he was off
duty.
He crossed his arms across his chest to retain body heat as the fine hairs on
his arms rose, wandering through cool shadows in the basement. Each footstep he
took resounded as a sharp, hollow clack the further in he delved. Cold fingers
tightened in his fist when he reached the bars of Eren's cell; the brat
obviously still a human boy in bed, with no need for babysitting, despite the
higher up's demands of keeping Eren under surveillance. Well-kept nails dug
arcs into a pale palm.
Eren dreamt as his chest rose and fell under the covers, which were still dirty
even though Levi had asked for the cell in its entirety to be clean.
Apparently, Eren needed to know his place, which apparently meant that he had
to sleep in his own grime, sweat and cum. Lovely. Thankfully, they drew the
line at not washing his clothes because that would've been unpleasant for
everyone. Everyone other than Eren, that is.
Yeah, the higher ups didn't really seem to care about what Eren wanted. The
bastards probably wouldn't have given him food either, had it not been for
Erwin's insistence they feed him. At least Jaeger didn't have to sleep with
chains attached to his wrist anymore. That was a small improvement.
In the cell, Eren never seemed to move much at all. Some nights, Levi had to
ask himself if Eren was dead or just really good at impersonating a corpse. On
the night Eren had slept in his bed, however, Levi found that while Eren didn't
move his body, his eelids flickered and his mouth hesitantly smiled. Eren never
had to cocoon himself with covers, what with his body radiating heat to the
point where it oppressed anyone sharing a space with him.
That night had been so strange.
Unlike Levi's previous clients, Eren didn't know what he wanted. Fumbling
around awkwardly and toying with Levi's body seemed to be an attempt to seduce
him. Even with this in mind, and even though Levi found doing paperwork more
productive than sex, Eren did everything right, and then some without even
realising.
"Aren't you going to touch yourself?"
"What if I'd collapsed again? You'd get hurt."
"... Important to me."
This nameless feeling had tortured Levi before. Albeit, it had been for someone
else, and he still didn't know why it was there, or what it meant, but it was
there all the same. It gouged out his voice with plump fingers and acidly
swelled in his throat, but somehow didn't bring the bitterness of bile along
with it, if anything, it was addictive.
He didn't want it to continue.
It brightened Eren's eyes to the color of a clear sky's reflection in a river
and glowed beneath skin tendered by sun-kissed youth, softening the look of his
lips, making Eren's business Levi's, as though Eren's name was his own. And
that was fucking annoying when Levi had more important stuff to do than
eavesdrop on conversation about Eren or think about touching him.
Levi was there for Eren's carnal discharge, nothing else... Eren would stop
saying nice things and he'd avoid Levi's eyes once he was satisfied. The best
idea would be to prevent himself from liking Eren's attention on him.
But Levi could still look at Eren, even if he didn't know why he wanted to.
He could still talk to him, and walk with him in the morning to the dining
hall, and let his lips caress cheeks as soft as rose petals -sparingly.
He could still drown himself in whatever this was, seeing as ignoring it proved
to be pointless.
He just had to hide it from Eren.
His experience meant that he knew what things to avoid in order to not get
caught. The problem now though, was that everyone seemed adamant Eren be told
of the things Levi had done in secret for Eren・s benefit. Fuck you, Petra, and
your noisy little mouth. How Levi arranged his break-times meant nothing. It
was just more... efficient.
Sighing, he left to watch the dawn arise, waiting until he could head
downstairs with a candle and wake up an idiotic brat.
 
===============================================================================
 
　
"Eren-" Levi called out into the hallway in search of him. The boy couldn't
reply.
Levi never slept without darkness to lull him, so it was a little odd to see
Eren leaning against the faded stones of the wall, eyes closed, basking in the
gentle white light that blurred the wooden edges of the window. Wasn't that
position uncomfortable? Not to mention those damn bricks would do a number on
his loose, beige shirt, scuffing it up and wearing the fabric thin. Eren had an
arm draped across his stomach, the other laid carelessly on the ground and his
trouser clad legs bended in front of him.
He walked closer, almost tiptoeing, so as not to wake Eren up. Eren's bed in
the cell was badly made, low quality at best, so that explained why he couldn't
sleep elsewhere. Or maybe as he'd suggested before, his lack of sleep was due
to stress? There was no doubt that Eren would have a lot to stress about. Titan
shifting powers. Working overtime to meet the Survey Corp's (Levi's) standards
in cleaning, experimentation and training. The death of his friends and family.
The last two were things Levi had trouble reacting to properly. At least, he
never seemed to match the expressions and sorrows of those around him.
He crouched by Eren, the warmth of the sun sitting on his shoulders as he
hugged his knees, noting the sound of the other soldiers downstairs, most
likely on their break after training with Mike or Erwin. Eren had a tendency of
isolating himself from others, as he'd seen in the mornings at the table, not
allowing anyone to sit next to him. With the excuse of going to the toilet or
running errands, Eren could take a nap or be by himself.
Stupid kid. Was he trying to become a crotchety old man like Levi? Hiding
himself away from social situations because he didn't know what to say? Then
again, Levi was more likely to have something to say to the others, seeing as
Eren had only just met them and didn't know what topics to bring up. Levi
avoided others simply for the sake of not wanting to be around others. But Eren
had those two precious friends of his, so surely he'd want company more often
than not? People were so complicated...
So what was to be done... Wake Eren up so he could return to the dreadful small
talk in the dining hall? Or he could just leave him here. Let him catch up on
sleep and allow the wall mess up his fluffy brown mop as he shifted in slumber.
Let him lie there with his pink little mouth curling upwards subtly at the
pleasantries within dreams. Let the light illuminate his supple tan skin and
slender neck, unspoiled and still pure...
One set of fingers hesitantly coiled into his palm held out in front of him;
never fully forming a fist, never fully reaching out to touch the clothed
forearm in front of him. He really shouldn't...
Levi inched closer, knees dropping to the floor and he cupped Eren・s cheek in
his stiffened palm, face drawing closer, lips tightening. Bad idea. Bad idea,
Levi. His pale middle finger brushed Eren's hairline, the contact between his
hand and Eren's skin kindling his heart so that it stuttered in his chest.
Levi's other hand drifted upward to cradle Eren's jaw as he leaned up and his
thumb dragged his lower lip down until his top two teeth were revealed, breath
hot on his fingertip. Something pleasant rippled down his spine. Just a bit
closer...
Why was he doing this?
The question snapped in his mind, pushing him backwards so that his hands hung
by his sides and he fell to the floor.
Every action should always have an explicit, logicalreason behind it.
He ground his teeth together when he found none.
"Wake up, shitty brat." he hauled himself up, dusting the dirt off his knees.
Levi pushed at Eren・s head, pausing for a moment at the contact, because wow
that was actually really soft hair he had, then shook his head, forcing his
mind to face reality. "Why aren't you downstairs with the others? Thought you
could skip out on work?"
"I-I'm awake!" Eren's eyes popped open. Levi couldn't help but frown when he
realised something. Shoulders bunched up and pressed back against the wall. "I
was just-"
"You have bags under your eyes." Was he really not getting enough sleep? That
wouldn't be beneficial to training, and certainly not for Eren's health if he
was to undergo all that on top of being half asleep.
Eren's eyebrows furrowed with a slight tilt to his head, his mouth curling
downwards. "... We can't all look beautiful when we've just woken up." he
muttered and rolled his eyes. He was missing the point completely. Fuck it.
"Get back downstairs." he ordered, offering a hand to Eren.
The latter stared at it like it was going to bite him. The look faded as he
reached out to take it, applying pressure to it, and Levi pulled him up. He
didn't let go as he walked ahead of Levi. Dark eyebrows raised when Eren took
the initiative, slipping their fingers between each other, griping onto his
knuckles until Levi sighed, only then did the grasp lessen the squeeze. Maybe
Eren wasn't allowed to know when Levi did nice things, but he could relish the
moments where Eren did them for him.
Eren didn't know what he was doing, right?
***** Chapter 13 *****
Chapter Summary
     The balance between sexual and emotional intimacy is like a tennis
     match: if one player plays badly it affects the other's performance,
     so then both players play terribly and it ends up being a pretty shit
     game.
Chapter Notes
     I'm soooo sorry for being late. I don't really take hobbies all too
     seriously, and I've got several ongoing fics. That's my excuse.
     To recap: Levi thinks Eren wants sexual favours and Eren's trying to
     be romantic. Both are idiots, but they can only learn with time.
     Enjoy~
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Scratch, scritch, scratch.
“There’s something up there. Definitely. Petra wasn’t just hearing things.”
Scratch, scritch, scratch.
“Hmm, you might be right. Go up and get rid of whatever’s festering up there,
then.”
“But sir!” Eren’s eyes widened, thick eyebrows sneaking up into his hairline.
He ground his teeth together, looking towards the attic before continuing. “I-
it’s, there’s no... No light up in the attic.” he whispered and turned away
from Levi, instead staring at the cracks in the brick wall in the hopes that
the noises would disappear, would refrain from setting him on edge-
Scratch, scritch-
Levi huffed with an eyeroll. “Bring a lantern with you then, dipshit.”
“...” Eren glanced up at the ceiling again, this time in search of the attic
door.
Noticing his attempt at stalling, Levi pulled up the sleeves of his white
cotton shirt. “Jaeger, I swear if you don’t-”
“Can you give me a boost up? I’m not tall enough.” He threw a deadpan glare in
Levi’s direction when he started sniggering -very ironically, Eren thought- and
to avoid punishment Eren silently mouthed his snarky retorts.
“Oi, fishface, quit acting like we’ve dragged you out the water and climb onto
my shoulders.” Already, Levi was beneath the attic door a few feet away, legs
spread as he lowered himself. At least he wasn’t making fun of Eren for being
scared of the dark. Well. He wasn’t blatantly teasing him, anyway.
Eren flushed when he realized his gaze was wandering between Levi’s spread
thighs, warmth dipping into his stomach like a pebble being thrown into a pond.
“What, like a piggy back on your shoulders?” He scratched at his chocolatey
mop. His very own thighs... Pressed against the sides of Levi’s face-
Yep, yep, okay. Calm down there, Eren.
“If you actually have took a shit in your pants like your expression implies,
you can bloody get up there yourself-”
“I’ll go up! Just a sec.”
Eren raced behind Levi, who ducked further and thankfully didn’t see the
teenager burn in embarrassment. What if he felt Eren’s balls on the back of his
head?!
Before he could dwell further on the matter, his legs were pulled around Levi’s
neck and he was rising to the ceiling. Eren tried not to topple over as he
rested his hands on Levi’s head. Silky, such silky black hair, Eren wanted
nothing more than to press his lips to it...
Fortunately Levi remained steady beneath him, wobbling only when Eren leaned
back to reach the latch on the attic door and pushed it open.
“I’m going to stand on your shoulders, captain.” Eren warned the man beneath
him, grabbing onto the ledge of the attic, and pulled himself up.
Levi’s shout resounded as Eren kicked the man’s chin in the process, but hey!
Nobody died! Success! “S-sorry captain!” The musty stink of the breezy, empty
room hit him full on and groped at the fine hairs on his back. Eren crawled
further in and clenched his hands into fists.
He was about to check on Levi’s status in climbing up when the man himself hit
Eren’s face with his head, throwing him onto his back. That wasn’t what he
meant at all when Eren said he wanted to feel Levi’s hair- Walls, nevermind.
“Captain! You startled me!” he exclaimed. “Wait, how in the Walls did you get
up?”
“I jumped,” Levi groaned, still pulling himself through the little door.
“Didn’t think it’d work, but it turns out I was a rabbit in a past life.” Levi
shrugged as though it was normal to jump that high. Damn, what were his legs
muscles made of?! “You find anything?”
Right, they had to find the source of the odd, scraping noises. “If it’s rats
they would’ve run away by now...” Eren pondered.
“Not surprising, what with your noisy ass waking up the deaf old lady in the
next town. Keep an eye out on your side of the room-”
“Wait, captain!” Eren half-blindly reached out for Levi, fingers catching onto
the material of his shirt and clutching it. “There’s no light. We didn’t bring
the lantern. I mean, with the door open we’ll have some light, but probably not
enough.”
Levi’s head tilted. “And to think... There are days when I tell myself that I
exceed you in intellegance. Those constant reminders were all wrong, it seems.”
Was that a smirk?
“Hey! I’m not dumb!” Eren’s grip on Levi’s shirt tightened, shoulders tensing
up. “Armin says I’m smart. Not ‘book smart’ like him, but, I’m ‘people smart’!”
“Eren. Now, I would say ‘I hate to break it to you’ but I’d be lying; you’re
naive and oblivious to the world around you like a baby bear just awoken from
hibernation.”
The teen released Levi’s clothing and covered his face with his hands
excitedly. “A bear!? You think I’m like a bear? I saw a bear once, y’know. Big,
super strong and it could catch fish-” A ticklish sensation brushed past his
ankles and before he knew it, Eren was yelping and darting forward. It was
downhill from there, literally.
“Oh boy- oof!” Eren fell onto Levi, still screaming in terror, squirming as he
tried to rescue his leg from the creatures in the dark- the suddenly the door
closed and they were drenched in total darkness.
“...Congratulations, idiot. Now look at what you’ve done.”
“Sorry sir...”
There was a low thud, possibly Levi resting his head, and a cool breeze wafted
over Eren’s ear that had him gasping quietly. “Guess you win ‘clumsiest dork of
the year award’ You wanted light, you say?! Sure doesn’t fucking seem like it!”
Eren fidgeted when it sounded like Levi was going to continue scolding him -
what sarcasm his superior capable of, wow- but it seemed like his position cut
Levi’s breath short. Eren frowned. What was wrong with Levi? Did Eren knee him
in the stomach? The chest? The area around his knee was warm, really really
warm, and it was throbbing-
That was not Levi’s stomach.
Um. Um, what was he supposed to do.
...?
Experimentally -and before he lost his nerve- Eren adjusted his knee again,
jolting when he was tugged closer to the ground, no, Levi’s chest. His face...
It was next to a large expanse of skin? Next to Levi’s neck? Or was it his
chest?
Eren licked his parched lips, the heat from his breath bouncing back onto his
face. Levi was still beneath him. Eren ducked down further, gulping past a
solid lump, nearly, very close to brushing against Levi’s tender skin.
“Eren,” Levi’s voice was quiet, his breathing shallow and ragged, as though his
throat was being restrained. “Eren, what are you doing?”
Eyelids fluttering, Eren pushed back a groan. “We haven’t, we don’t... touch
like this very often. Not since, um. That night when I went to your room.” He
bit his lip at the memory, pelvis dropping closer to Levi’s clothed heat. “But
since we’re a couple, touching is okay, right? I’ll- I’ll stop if you don’t...”
Eren trails off, lost in the feeling of his nose nuzzling into the leather-like
texture of Levi’s neck, chest constricting, tightening and pulsing against
Levi’s.
He let his fingers trail down Levi’s front, the feeling a bit more intimate
than the touches he’s been stealing this past week, stopping just above the
abdominals when he heard Levi sigh brokenly, torso shuddering with each stutter
of air. “Captain?” he husked.
Instead of words, Eren felt fingers caressing his back; the further up they
went the more Eren forgot how to breathe, wasn’t sure he wanted to for fear of
breaking such a fragile moment. Levi’s hand cradled his hair, collecting it in
a loose clump, thumb brushing Eren’s sensitive nape as he’s brought closer.
That did it for Eren.
Without hesitation he pressed his upcurling lips to Levi’s neck, letting them
brush over marble clavicles and dragging across a sharp jawline. He sighed
through his nose when his tongue stole small licks of the skin his lips
massaged with quiet sucks and slicks. Even while Levi stiffened, the black
haired man leaned into his touch, still stroking Eren’s threads and pulling at
them as though such treatment was a reward.
Eren was thinking about it, the way his lips continued to linger by the dimple
of Levi’s chin made that obvious, knowing it’d been far too long since the last
time he’d felt Levi’s smooth lips pressing against his own. To think he was
even being allowed to do this made his stomach flutter almost painfully,
tickling his throat, making him press deeper into Levi’s flesh. But still he
delayed, refusing to give in first, as if waiting for Levi to meet him halfway.
He called out quietly. “Lev-Levi, sir.”
“Hmm?” Was the tremulous reply.
Eren peeled his lips from the man’s jaw. “Do you like doing this, with me?” he
sounded childish he knew, he knew, but, even so...
“It’s... Beneficial.”
“What is?”
Levi hesitated and Eren could sense he was carefully choosing his words.
“The... Physical release of frustration...”
Eren’s head snapped back, instantly remembering when Levi spoke of “getting rid
of frustrations” last time they were touching like this, even more than this,
if anything. “Is that all?” his voice came out brittle, as though talking
through a mouthful of broken glass. “Is that why you’re doing this with me?”
Beneath him, Levi attempted to continue his ministrations in Eren’s hair, his
thumb moving in pleading circles by Eren’s nape.
“I-I guess so?”
Eren sighed, his exhale sounding like someone who’d been interrupted before
speaking. He removed himself from Levi’s body and stood up. “Right. Okay.
Adults have relationships like that. Yeah. Yeah...” he mumbled under his
breath. He hovered, though at this point his efforts seemed useless. “What do
you feel for me, Levi?”
When Eren’s question was answered with silence he trudged toward the attic
door.
 
 
It was later that night when he ran into his friends from the 104th Trainee
Squad: the graduates that would now be a part of the Survey Corps. Panicking
over Mikasa and Armin had done with their lives took his mind off of... other
things and gave him a headache, one he was okay with having due to this
particular situation, something he’d rather deal with in this moment of time.
They were safe and that was all he cared about.
But then he saw Jean. Stupid, arrogant Jean with his ugly long face -that
looked longer than he remembered it being- and he almost did a double take.
That... Couldn’t have been Jean. He looked too... Mature. Worn down in a way
that should have only come from experience and time. Where was his idiotic
smirk? His dumb swagger? Where was...
“Where’s Marco?” Eren asked expectantly.
Everyone’s faces sobered up from the reunion, except Jean’s, and it hit Eren
like a bucket of ice cold water thrown in his face.
While he was whining about his pathetic desires, people had been grieving,
mourning, crying from their losses in the Trost War.
Marco was dead.
Eren and the other’s duties as soldiers remained, inescapable; that’s just how
it was.
Chapter End Notes
     Reality check!! Duty calls!!
     IT HURTS BECAUSE LEVI AND EREN WANT TO SAME THING, and we know what
     Levi really means when he's going on about frustrations but he can't
     help but be emotionally stunted, Boohoo :'( so this is the beginning
     of what I like to call "the angst arc" but gives me a heads up if I'm
     writing too melodramatic/wangsty?
     If anyone's got any tips on writing sad stuff, I'd appreciate it. I
     also have no idea how to write kiss scenes, but I'm happy to just
     wing it, haha.
     Please leave a comment! I love reading your feedback :D
***** Chapter 14 *****
Chapter Notes
     Ah, this chapter was quite complicated for me to write! Shoot me a
     comment if you don't understand what's going on!
     I'm also on tumblr if you wanted to know, I'm still spottyflake on
     there :D
     Enjoy this early update~
See the end of the chapter for more notes
“Corporal!” Auruo and Petra called out simultaneously, rushing across the
dining hall, dodging past the new recruits to where Levi sat sipping tea.
“Please help us!”
Levi scarcely raised an eyebrow, arm resting on the edge of the chair’s
backrest as he took in the duo’s apprehension. They crashed into the seats
beside him, eyes wide and breathing shallow. “Help you with what? You didn’t
get her pregnant, did you?” He glowered at Auruo, who cowered beneath his
stare. Auruo and Petra shared a fleeting glance, both blushing before looking
back at their captain.
Aurup huffed and crossed his arms. “Petra says I’ve been acting weird.”
“Auruo, you always act strangely.”
The silver haired man shook his head vehemently. “No, no, weird like the time
you went cuckoo, kind of weird. I feel so optimistic today, it’s terrifying!”
He then gestured at Levi. “Why am I going to tell you this? I don’t know, but;
you’re an awesome guy! You look lovely today and I hope something good happens
to you today. Yeah, you know what? I hope you find something you thought you
lost and that things will go your way!” Once he finished chirping in
excitement, Auruo’s temperature rose and he hid his face between his palms.
“Why am I acting like this..?”
Looking into the tan coloured liquid in front of him, Levi swirled it around in
the cup as he thought. “It’s likely that Hanji’s up to something again and
unlike last time, I’m not her victim.” he sighed in relief, and possibly mute
annoyance. “Judging from what I remember from her notes, I can guess that a
chemical from someone’s DNA is heightening your... Optimism.” He nodded at
Petra with a blank stare. “Sleep well tonight knowing that Hanji probably
pulled your hairs out for Auruo to drink.” Auruo and Petra retched and gagged
in response.
Petra sighed and patted Auruo’s head. “As much as I’d love a clone of myself,
it’s a little discorncerting to be lacking a certain sarcastic idiot.” Auruo
cooed, giving her a quick hug. Petra remained stiff and grimaced. “How do we
change him back?”
“Ask Hanji. Or Eren. He was the one with me while I was on the potion, so he
might know how long it took for it to wear off. I don’t remember receiving an
antidote of any sort...” Though his shrug was nonchalent, Auruo couldn’t help
but notice how Levi’s expression had darkened.
As if on cue, Eren wandered into the hall. A short blonde was talking his right
ear off, and on Eren’s left, a dark haired girl was shooting sharp glances in
their direction, narrowing her eyes as Levi turned to look at them. Levi placed
his cup on the table.
“Jaeger, come here.”
The boy in question paused, hesitating to leave his friends. He continued
talking to them for a moment.
Levi snapped, his glower growing more intense the longer Eren dawdled. “Don’t
ignore a direct order. Hurry up.” Green eyes widened as Eren’s lean body jolted
into action, his quick glances behind causing Levi to raise his fist...? Then
it was slammed back onto the table hard enough to make the teacup rattle.
Discussion from all the other tables ceased at the bang. The fear on Eren’s
face disolved into distaste.
Auruo and Petra waved apologetically at the two friends, the short blonde
dragging the other to their chosen table, then they turned to each other
fearfully; ooh shit, there’d been trouble in paradise!
“Eren!” Petra attempted to dilute the tension with her cheer, inviting him to
sit beside her. He did so, but not before sending a peevish sneer to Levi.
Ah... Not a good sign. “It seems like we’re in a bit of a pickle! See, Auruo
was feeling sick yesterday and I had to drag him up to his bed. Then when I
woke up, he was singing! So he’s really been acting odd, just like Captain did
a week or so ago. Do you know how-”
“It wears off, eventually.”Eren’s gaze was fixed in the direction of his
friends.
Petra blinked, breath falling short at the interuption. She tried a smile. “Oh,
well that’s good! How long do you reckon it’ll take-”
“Soon enough. Probably by tonight. It’s not like he’s gone crazy, why are you
worrying so much? He’ll be fine. Talk to Hanji about possible side effects, or
whatever.” He quickly made to stand up, but Levi’s vice-like grip on his wrist
prevented him from leaving and forced him to sit back down.
“Don’t be rude to Petra.” His grasp tightened as Eren dared to pull away. “She
was only asking you a question. Drop the fucking attitude and stop being a
brat.”
Eren rolled his eyes then clicked his tongue. “Is that an order, sir.” Eren
spat back, his upper lip curling to reveal his canine teeth.
In the blink of an eye, Levi had leapt out his chair and grabbed Eren’s shirt
collar while the younger man growled in defiance, standing in an attempt to
escape his clutches. “Don’t sass me you little shit-”
“Okay okay okay!” Auruo, that brave moron, dived between the two and pushed
Eren away from a seething corporal. “Eren, why don’t we visit Hanji together,
yeah? Maybe then we can talk about why you and Lev-”
“I’m going to my friends. I haven’t seen them in months and I’m lucky they’re
still alive. If you’ll excuse me.” Eren ducked out of Auruo’s comforting touch
to his shoulder and stormed across the hall. At the same time, Levi made a
beeline for the door in the opposite direction. His teacup was abandoned on the
table.
Auruo’s lower lip wobbled as the door was thrown shut, eyes glistening with
tears he probably wasn’t even aware of. He started blinking rapidly, avoiding
Petra’s eyes, touching his own face gently to try and cover it. “Was it
something I said?” he whispered. “I-I thought maybe if we s-seperated them we
could get Eren to talk...”
For the first time since she’d known him, Petra let herself coddle Auruo. She
pecked his cheek as he burried his face in her neck. Just this once, she told
herself. Hopefully he’d forget today like Levi had done before. Although she
kind of liked this other Auruo, she missed scolding her favourite Levi-
impersonator.
Had Eren forgotten his promise to the elite soldiers? In return for keeping
their relationship secret, Eren was supposed to make Levi happy. Petra sought
him out within the crowd of recruits, rubbing soothing circles into Auruo’s
back (was Auruo milking the situation or was he really this sensitive?). She
hadn’t been expecting to find Eren’s shoulders drooping, head downturned even
while his friends tried to interact with him. Maybe Eren wasn’t the only one at
fault... Oh, what drama!
---
It wasn’t often that Erwin was subject to angry little men barging into his
office and stealing his couch. Or well, this was a first anyway. And Levi
seemed much more than simply angry, he looked positively furious. Replacing the
quill to its holder, Erwin frowned and peered at the man on his couch.
“Levi?” Erwin called out, tilting his blonde head. “You alright? It’s not
everyday you come into my office...” Despite his confusion, a light fondness
bubbled in his chest. He craned his neck to get a better look at Levi, a little
annoyed that the couch was facing away from his desk.
“Mmn.”
“...That doesn’t explain much, Levi.” he breathed a chuckle. “C’mon, what
happened? Did someone mix your tea wrong? Steal your cravat? You know, I still
don’t know why you wear that...”
Even after Erwin joined a sulking Levi on the burgandy couch, the shorter man
still wasn’t talking and Erwin found himself at a loss on how to make him do
so. Usually people found Erwin a good person to talk to, and he was quite happy
to listen and offer an objective opinion, but with Levi? He still wasn’t
talking, so that didn’t give Erwin much to go on. His posture was rather stiff
and his arms were crossed.
Was Erwin supposed to cheer him up? Would it annoy Levi if Erwin continued to
press the matter? He’d come into Erwin’s room, so the commander kinda felt
obliged to help the guy out.
In the end he opted to simply return to his desk and continue his paperwork
(yay, stocks!) to give Levi the option of talking to him while he worked. True,
Levi was a shy person so he probably didn’t want to have a face-to-face
conversation about his problems. It took him a while, but Levi eventually
deflated into the leather, leaning back with an arm resting over his eyes.
“I’m mad at Jaeger.” Levi was... Voluntarily offering his emotional palette?
What a rare occasion!
Erwin hummed thoughtfully. “And why’s that?”
“Because he’s an idiot.”
“Did you two fight?” Erwin chuckled, leaning his jaw against his palm. “I
assume he didn’t threaten to shift...?”
“No, nothing like that. Uh, we sort of had an argument. But it didn’t make him
go titan.”
“Sort of had an argument? Alright, well tell me what happened?”
Levi paused for a moment, scratching his head and arching his back as he
stretched. “Petra and I were asking him for help, then he was being rude to us.
His tone was very insulting. I scolded him and he ran off to his friends. Then
I came here.”
Erwin bit his lip, trying to think of a way to get Levi to talk about this in a
way they both understood. (Eren ran away so Levi wandered off to Erwin’s room?
What connection did that even have?) He’d known Levi long enough to learn that
patience was aboslutely key when listening to the man -especially when talking
about something that made him emotional.
“Try explaining what happened the last time you guys interacted, before Eren
was being rude and ‘being an idiot’. Be really specific.”
Apparently, they’d been in the attic to try and find the source of the odd
noises (ah, they’d been keeping Erwin up too). “Why didn’t you send him up
there himself?”
“He’s scared of the dark.” Levi shrugged. “Besides, it’d be quicker to solve
the problem with two people. And then something made him fall onto me, the
attic door closed and we were left in the dark. I scolded him for being stupid
and he started kneeing my dick. My throat started to feel tight and I was
nauseous. I didn’t want to keep feeling like that. But he stayed there, and I
let him.”
“Are you sure it was nausea? What exactly were the bodily sensations you
experienced? Was your stomach hot? Tingling? Numb? Or was there sharp pains?”
Levi answered with the second option.
“Don’t you think you started to feel like that because Eren was close to you?
Maybe you were you thinking of the last time he was that close you? Did you
want him to be that close to you? Because you know, your thoughts can cause
sensations within your body, and vice versa. Feelings are a link between the
sensations you experience and your mind...”
On the couch, Levi rose to his knees, turning to face Erwin over the back of
the chair. “Why would that relate to me feeling sick?”
“Maybe because you weren’t actually feeling sick, it was a reaction to you
guy’s closeness and you misinterpreted it.” Erwin pursed his lips as Levi
clammed up, mild jealousy and melancholy chewing at his insides. “And when you
were on the floor, did it digust you?”
“What?” Levi frowned.
“Well, the floor must’ve been dirty, right? Didn’t you want to clean it? Maybe
that’s why you felt sick.”
Levi’s eyes widened, flickering as the memories played in front of his eyes. “I
was... No, no I wasn’t thinking about that at all. I was too focused on, um,
letting him touch me.” Levi began telling Erwin about the questions Eren had
asked him, explaining how he was only there for Eren’s ‘carnal discharge’. He
seemed to have almost forgotten Erwin was there, the words pouring out in a way
Erwin had never seen before.
“Levi...” Erwin interrupted him. “When Eren said ‘ is that all’ do you think he
might’ve expected you to say something else? That he wanted you to have another
reason for doing things with him?”
“Another reason? The purpose of sexual and sensual contact is for release,
that’s why I did it.”
“Another reason might be to... Show him that you care about him, or because you
simply wanted to be closer to him mentally and physically; that’s why another
name for sex is ‘making love’ you know? Also, have you considered that the
reasons I just listed may have been Eren’s intentions? You said he confessed to
you, right?”
Just then, there was a knock on the door and Erwin’s subordinate scurried
inside with a cup of tea. The young soldier glanced in Levi’s direction,
scratching at their mousey brown hair before looking back at Erwin in question;
did Erwin want him to get tea for Levi?
Erwin shook his head, a pang of sympathy going through him when he realized
Levi couldn’t have those kind of wordless conversations with people. As the
soldier closed the door behind him, Erwin took a sip of the scalding liquid.
“Erwin... Are you implying,” Levi whispered as though he feared the truth,
turning to lie on the couch. “I might’ve misread Eren’s reasons for wanting to
kiss me and asking those questions?”
“Yup. And because he was upset that you misunderstood him, that caused him to
lash out at you, and Petra couldn’t improve his mood because you were there.”
Ah, so Levi was finally understanding something. Erwin took another sip of his
tea.
There had been some progress in his plan.
It shouldn’t have surprised him how well option C turned out. After all, Erwin
had learned from first hand experience that the best way to make Levi hate you
was to fall in love with him. You could even say he’d been in Eren’s situation
before, he empathized with the boy. Except in this scenario, Levi returned
Eren’s feelings and Erwin knew that, thanks to Hanji...
So why was he doing this in such a complicated way? What was he even trying to
do? Why had he bothered to matchmake them, and offer them as much advice as he
had? Wouldn’t it be easier to discourage Levi’s feelings for Eren?
Unless... Unless Erwin wanted revenge on Levi.
He'd... never thought of it that way. That hadn't been his original intention.
But now it made sense.
Many years ago, Levi and Erwin had been in a relationship, if it could be
called that. The more Erwin fell for Levi the more distant Levi became, no
matter how Erwin tried to convey that he loved Levi and felt neglected, Levi
never seemed motivated to make things work. Eventually, Erwin had realized his
feelings had been one-sided after all; Levi had simply used his feelings in
order to get closer to Erwin’s possessions, and to get his hands on the
documents that would free Levi and his friends from the Survey Corps and their
life in the underground city.
And Levi, after the documents turned out to be fake and his friends died on an
expedition, made it obvious he’d been using Erwin by avoiding him upon learning
the truth.
And then... They wordlessly broke up when Erwin found out Levi was offering the
other soldiers sexual favours, a comrade telling him that Erwin had been one of
Levi’s many “clients”.
So in reality, Erwin was in love with someone who had broken his heart; torn
between wanting Levi to experience the torture of unrequited love while
simultaneously trying to win him over.
If that was the case... Then why did Erwin reassure Levi that Eren had feelings
for him?
Oh.
It was to raise Levi’s hopes...
(He took another sip of tea)
Eren wasn’t happy that Levi wouldn’t -couldn’t- acknowledge he had feelings for
the teen and Eren thought Levi simply wanted sexual release, thanks to Levi’s
lack of tact and eloquence. The more Eren thought this, the more he’d push Levi
away, rather than cling onto Levi like Erwin had expected him to.
And that... spawned the idea of another plan in Erwin’s mind.
Levi abruptly sat up on the couch. “I’m going to apologize to Eren.” he
announced. “Or at least, I want to clarify a few things with him.”
“Oh really?” Erwin gulped down the remainder of the scalding tea -it sure
tasted strange these days- and returned to his work. “Since you’ve told me the
truth about your relationship with said subordinate, as your superior I’m
afraid I have to sever your contact with Private Jaeger.”
Chapter End Notes
     Oh no, Levi you were so close... But why did you have to use Erwin
     all those years ago?!
     And gasp! Erwin was... Nice? But then he was mean again! What is the
     meaning of this extremely OOC character??
     I will give you a hint in the form of a short "Mr. Brightside"
     parody: "It started out with a sip, how did it end up like this, it
     was only a sip, IT WAS ONLY A SIP!!" But shhh! If you get it don't
     spoil it! ;)
     It's fun letting Erwin give us some conflict and suspense, but even
     the bad guys can evoke sympathy, yeah! (Plz don't kill me, ereri
     lives forever I assure you ;D )
***** Chapter 15 *****
Chapter Summary
     Hiatus Note/I have no idea what I'm doing with my life
Hey guys, I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing with this story. I really don't
like writing climaxes for some strange reason. I got stuck for ideas on how to
continue, tried finding a beta to help me out but no such luck. It'd be a real
shame to drop this story, but I really don't have the motivation to continue
and haven't properly written a chapter in ages, mostly due to the fact I
started university in September. Even my other works have been affected and I'm
sorry about those too... Here's to hoping I can somehow continue this story
next year -.- Merry Christmas guys, and if you don't celebrate that then...
have an awesome day and stay safe. Thank you!
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