Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1000438.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural_RPF
  Relationship:
      Jensen_Ackles/Jared_Padalecki
  Character:
      Jensen_Ackles, Jared_Padalecki
  Additional Tags:
      hulk-smash_sex, Rough_Sex, Oral_Sex, Manhandling, Seduction,
      Manipulation, lolita_Jensen, Bottom_Jensen, Wall_Sex, Desk_Sex, Rimming,
      Teen_Jensen, Teen_Jared, First_Time, Alternate_Universe, Kink_Meme, Size
      Kink, Size_Difference, Age_Difference, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism,
      Masturbation, Seductive_Jensen, Reluctant_Jared, Underage_Sex, Possessive
      Behavior, Marking, Biting, Barebacking, Coming_Untouched, Coming_of_Age,
      Dirty_Talk, Jealousy, Face_Sitting
  Series:
      Part 1 of Secrets'verse
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-10-11 Words: 7494
****** Skin to Bury Secrets In ******
by skeletncloset_(alexa_dean)
Summary
     Jensen is a wolf in lamb's clothing.
     [ photo 1b4101da-82f0-4aa5-8f87-f439656223b2_zps8a0259f8.jpg]
Notes
     Inspired by this prompt: http://spn-otpkink.livejournal.com/
     1324.html?thread=18220#t18220. Extreme underage. Jensen is 13/14 and
     Jared is seventeen.
 
Jensen hates therapy, but he puts up with it. Mostly for his mother’s sake.
Jensen knows he wasn’t at fault. That he didn’t bring it upon himself. He’s
never felt like a victim. He can’t even feel ashamed that he liked it and the
only regret he can muster up is the fact that his mother’s boyfriend never got
around to fucking him. 
He spends most nights thinking about it, pushing himself open with his fingers,
or on one memorable occasion-- a toothbrush holder, pretty much using whatever
he can improvise as a dildo.
Incidentally, he’s become bolder and shameless about it, stealing a cucumber
from old Mrs. Valentine's garden patch and a lubricated condom from his
mother's bedside drawer to wrap over it and all he had to do was hold it
between his heels and sit on it, stripping his dick until he spent all over his
sheets while stuffed full. 
It's become an obsession. He gets hot looking at other men. Grown men, the
shift of fabric, denim and slacks, over their dicks, hung left or right.
Imagines them hard, imagines them putting him on their lap, their dicks trapped
between Jensen’s slim thighs, slippery, or riding the crease of his ass and
begging for Jensen to let them in. Imagines their mouths covering his little
prick and balls, stubble scratching his skin, huge hands on Jensen’s inner
thighs, imagines them licking into his hole as Jensen holds himself open for
them.
He’s found he isn’t attracted to any of the boy’s his age and the men around
him are not interested in a boy as young as he is. But as luck would have it
his mother remarried and with the marriage Jensen inherited a seventeen-year-
old stepbrother. Not necessarily the gruff, rugged man Jensen leans toward but
definitely everything Jensen never knew he’d wanted, but wants so much he’s
moved to tears.
Everything Jared does undoes Jensen, unconscious of his effect on Jensen as he
is on others-- blinding white teeth and dimpled cheeks, slanted eyes, gold and
blue and green, and hands so large Jensen thinks they could envelop his waist
easily. 
Jared is so straight it hurts. He’s so nice it hurts too. Always has time or
makes time for Jensen, scruffing his hair affectionately, playing halo with him
for hours, helping out with homework. 
Jensen wants to hate him. But it’s impossible. So he takes it out on Jared’s
girlfriends. Unknown to Jared, Jensen is the reason he gets dumped. All Jensen
has to do is insinuate that Jared is cheating on them and it’s over. 
Jensen is beginning to think Jared is developing a complex. What did I do?
Turned into-- what’s wrong with these girls! Then to-- what’s wrong with me?
And all Jensen can do is shrug and try not to laugh himself sick and not to
come in his pants watching Jared’s tongue trace his bottom lip in concentration
as he tries to beat Jensen at Black Ops.
 
**
 
Jared’s age is a convenience. Their parents have never had use of a babysitter
with his stepbrother around. So after several nights left to their own devices
they finally grew comfortable enough to trust Jared not to do things he
shouldn’t be doing and go on a weekend retreat together.
 Jensen is over the moon to be left alone with Jared.
Jensen knows Jared likes to smoke a little weed now and then and he’s caught
him before, but promised not to tell a soul and not to try it out for himself.
Jensen would never, tell anyone that is, but Jared doesn’t know that and Jensen
intends to use it against him if he has to. 
“You’re boring when you’re high,” Jensen says to Jared now. “You can’t play
worth shit.” 
Jared just grins at him, lopsided and lazy. “You should be grateful. It’s the
only way you can beat me.” 
Jared yawns wide and stretches, spreadeagled on the floor, his sweats leave
nothing to Jensen’s imagination. He’s half-hard and Jensen knows weed makes
Jared horny. He’s watched Jared enough times with his girlfriends to know
exactly what he’s like. 
Jensen drops his controller down on the floor, hesitates for a second, free to
look at Jared, tawny skin and tawnier hair trailing beneath his waistband, the
deep grooves in his hips and climbs on top of him, his hands perched over
Jared’s bare chest, the swell of his pecs larger than Jensen’s spread hands. 
His face tingles, his cock pushing against its constraints, unrepentant and
obvious and obviously unnoticed by Jared as he drawls. 
“Not up to wrestling, little bro. Just wannachill—“
Jensen dips down to push his little tongue into Jared’s mouth, licking at the
roof of his mouth and framing Jared’s cheeks with his hands, eyes open to
memorize the moment—Jared’s squeezed-shut eyes, blush over his cheeks to rival
Jensen’s own.
It’s a full ten seconds before Jared breaks the kiss, about to refuse Jensen,
but Jensen beats him to the point. 
“I know what you’re going to say. But I want this. And I know it’s wrong but I
don’t care. I don’t know what you know about me, but this isn’t my first time.
I’m not doing anything I haven’t already.” He adds hurriedly, referring to
Jared’s mild drug use. “I’m keeping your secret. You can keep this. Think of it
as mine.” 
And there it is, heavy between them. There’s no guilt when Jensen says it.
Things might have gone differently if Jensen had not sensed Jared’s interest,
huge if the hard dick on his cotton-clad ass is anything to go by. Even if
Jensen were a little older, Jared’s dick would still be formidable.
He presses back into it, rubs himself back and forth, watching Jared’s face,
suddenly pale, but slack-lipped, pupils expanding to accommodate Jensen’s
reflection. 
He pulls at his hoodie and shirt, off in one fell swoop, tousling his hair and
his nipples tighten in the cool air, his cheeks already hot, but growing
hotter, his breathing gone ragged. 
Jared doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, but his dick twitches and his hands are
claws on the carpet, refusing to touch Jensen. Jensen lifts off him to roll
onto his back and slip his boxers off, then stretches back over Jared, thighs
over his hips. He pushes the elastic of Jared’s sweats underneath his nut sac
to sit on his dick, purple and wet and so huge Jensen doesn’t know if it will
fit, but Jensen is patient and stubborn. Peppery smell of Jared so strong his
mouth waters, his dick jumps and he’s leaking onto Jared’s belly.
Jensen has to use both hands to encircle their dicks together, his own dwarfed
by Jared’s and it somehow makes Jensen hotter and he has to stop or he’s going
to come before he even starts. 
He leans forward over his stepbrother, bringing their mouths together and
Jared’s hands come up, one over his lower back and the other in Jensen’s hair,
gripping it roughly, one meant to pull Jensen off and the other meant to pull
him in closer, grinding their groins together filthily, frantically. Jared
sliding along Jensen’s perineum, his sac, catch-gliding against Jensen’s
twitching hole. 
It’s so fucking perfect. Jared’s sweatpants and underwear bunched under his
dick and his balls nudging Jensen’s hole, his pubes tickling Jensen, achey-hot
tension building in his belly and he has to pull off Jared’s mouth to reach for
his hoodie, digging for the travel-sized bottle of baby oil he’d palmed in the
drugstore last week. 
Jared’s eyes narrow at that and he lets out a shuddery, “Holy Fuck.” 
Jensen pours a generous amount over Jared where he juts up proudly against
Jensen’s dick, over Jared’s belly, lets the bottle fall by his leg as he hikes
up Jared’s torso. 
“You ever eat a girl out before?” Jensen asks, generally curious, but also
jealous. Jared grins nervously, nodding slow, almost imperceptive. Jensen
almost can’t get what he wants to say out, his confidence flagging a little.
“You wanna—“ 
“Eat you out?” Jared finishes. 
“Yeah.” 
“C’mere—“ Jared pushes Jensen up and for a second Jensen doesn’t know what
Jared wants, then Jared says, “Sit on my face. I’ll show you.” 
Jensen does. Oh fuck, he does. Hovers at first over Jared’s tongue, faint
flicker against a cheek, against his perineum, teeth nipping the meat of it,
his nose bumping Jensen’s balls. Jared grabs a hold the tops of Jensen’s thighs
and pulls him down and Jensen falls back a little, catching himself on Jared’s
hips. 
A soft cry escapes him as Jared’s tongue penetrates him, shoves hard and slick
and hot through his rim, without pretense or warning, pushing, pushing, pushing
until his teeth scrape flush against Jensen and Jensen thinks he’s going to
lose it and has to use one hand to tug his balls hard enough to stave off an
orgasm. 
He feels heat building there, from Jared’s pants, humid and wet and nasty. Try
as he might he can’t get away from Jared, trapped by his hands and his mouth
sucking at him now, nipping with teeth and burrowing with his tongue. It’s not
gentle by any means. It’s rough and oh-so-good. So fucking good, makes tension
shiver up inside him, makes his ass flex and his hole clench around Jared’s
tongue, slippery as a sea creature. 
And Jensen is moaning, not even trying to hold it in, no intention to in the
future either. He’s fucking back against Jared’s tongue with little uhn uhn
uhns and fitful whines. Jared’s hands running up his thighs to his hips,
setting the back and forth rhythm for Jensen’s movements, pumping Jensen
furiously against his face, exhaling in short bursts over Jensen’s sac.
“Jared, Jared,” he warns loudly, “I’m gonna—“ And he rips himself away on his
hands and knees, crawling away and not looking back to meet Jared’s eyes. He
has to catch his breath, but he also can’t afford to have Jared think he’s
changed his mind so he presents himself, lowers himself to his forearms. Then
before he loses his nerve— 
“Put your dick in me. Want it. Been thinking about it.” 
“Jensen—“ 
He can hear the admonishment in Jared’s tone, the reluctance, the I don’t want
to hurt you. 
“I can take it.” This time he does turn to glance over his shoulder at Jared,
Jared’s pants in a hobble over his knees, close but not close enough for
Jensen. Fuck, his dick is huge. “Been fucking myself on my fingers for weeks
now with whatever I can find. Opening myself up thinking of you. Your huge
dick. What it would feel like. Worked myself up to four fingers, thinking of
your fingers in me.” 
He can see Jared’s resolve slipping from him to join the puddle of clothes on
the floor. 
“Just the tip,” Jensen adds slyly. “Just the tip. I want to jack off with the
tip of your dick inside me. It won’t hurt me. It’s only a little bit. Just a
little bit.” 
It’s a done deal when Jared grabs himself hard at the base, breath so loud it’s
become a whine as he moves forward as fast as his clothes allow and lines up
behind Jensen. Dick and hand and pubes and belly glistening with more baby oil
than necessary. Even his thighs are coated with it. 
“What a mouth on you. Where did you get such a mouth? Fuck—“ 
“Not innocent,” Jensen says darkly, not wanting to talk about it. There’s
plenty he’s done, but there’s also stuff he hasn’t that he wants from Jared and
he can’t let Jared know or he’d back off.
He lines up, glans slipping along the curve of Jensen’s cheek, over his spit-
sticky hole, lax now and receptive, but the head of Jared’s dick is larger than
Jensen thought because it burns, burns so much he forgets to breathe and Jared
stops, about to pull back and Jensen reaches back to grab hold of his flank,
urging him forward. 
Jensen wills himself to open, imagines himself yawning to take Jared, imagines
his belly full of Jared, Jared’s come running down his thighs, so much of it,
it spills out all over them. Jensen has seen his balls, huge and full. Can all
but taste the load on his tongue. 
It works because Jared comes through with an almost audible snap, dragging a
groan from them both, simultaneously frozen and taking huge sucking breaths.
Jensen is aware of his body, everywhere. His calves brush the inside of Jared’s
spread-wide ones, wide enough to bring himself to Jensen’s level. And Jensen
leans back, the avian span of his shoulder blades pushed up against Jared’s
broad chest, Jared’s arm encircling his waist. 
He’s so vulnerable like this. So needy, he knows he wouldn’t like it if it
wasn’t Jared behind him. Good, nice-guy, beautiful Jared. Jared who is so much
more than any of his stupid girlfriends deserve. Jared, who is now Jensen’s and
Jensen’s alone. And Jensen intends to cement the certainty of it. 
He pushes back, ignoring the burn and bruise and ache for the satisfaction to
come. Jared trembles behind him and Jensen is gritting his teeth through it
with how much he wants it to work. How much he wants it. How much he needs
Jared to, too. But he needs Jared to meet him halfway.
"Oh fuck," Jared huffs over Jensen's shoulder, into his hair, his chin brushing
the top of Jensen's head. "Oh fuck, wish you could see it, baby. Taking it so
good. So good opening up for me, letting me. Pretty little hole. Prettiest one
I've every seen." 
Jensen basks in it, the sappy term of endearment and it gives him courage.
"Need you to fuck me, Jay. We're halfway there already. Might as well take it
all. It's so good, Jay. Feels so right. You don't even know. Want you to ride
me into the floor. Want to take your cock. All of it. Need to. Wanna see it
push up into me, feel it move in my belly. C'mon. Do it. Fuck me." 
Jensen could swear Jared's already huge cock swells further at his words,
enough to put strain on him, making him gasp. But he's not backing down from
the thing he's precipitated.
 "You're so tight," Jared whispers. "I can't. I'll hurt you. Know it. Feels so
fuck'n good, but I want you to feel good too, baby. Need you to. This is wrong
enough as it is."
"Do it. Don't be such a pussy." 
Jensen expects another are you sure? But what he gets is a face full of carpet
as he tumbles forward, hips held by Jared as he splits him wide, a steady
burning ache that keeps barreling forward, deeper and deeper inside Jensen and
he squirms and mewls from it, beyond pleasure, beyond pain. 
"So good Jensen. It's so good," Jared licks the words onto the knobs of
Jensen's curved spine. "So beautiful. Oh God, just gotta fuck'n--" 
It's like pins and needles, it's like lightning and it's like none of these
things to be so open to someone, so completely given over to them. Their needs
and their pleasure and Jensen has to remind himself of it as Jared keeps
coming, endless. Not that Jensen can even get the words out to stop him, to
tell him to slow down, to wait. 
They come together with a loud clap as Jensen gives in and they both cry out,
startled and shaking from the intensity.
Jared’s dick a hot, massive presence inside Jensen. Where no one else has ever
been. And Jensen knows it’s worth all the discomfort in the world to have Jared
like this. Caught for the moment by Jensen, his captive. His. Not Sadie’s or
Jessica’s or Mandy’s.
 Jensen’s. 
Tentative, Jensen begins to pull at Jared’s cock, tugging it forward with him
as he edges off and then pushes back just as slow-- a movement that expels a
longwinded hiss from his mouth and makes his eyes water. But Jared won’t move,
but he does tremble as he waits patiently for Jensen to get there. 
It’s awkward at first. Jensen shifting about to find the right angle, trying to
find what he needs most when he’s in this much pain. He finds it with a visible
shudder and he feels himself light up and spread, his thighs on Jared’s, a hand
on his hip and he’s moaning this time, less agony than nirvana. Maybe words,
maybe nothing as he fucks himself on Jared’s beautiful dick, his back curling
up into Jared’s abs, feeling safe and hidden by Jared’s larger body, his
strong, lean frame. 
It’s like a reflex, to loosen up, to open up to the incredible pressure inside
him and then it’s no longer him moving anymore but Jared, with one arm around
Jensen’s waist pinning him in place, his whole palm pressed against Jensen’s
groin, rubbing him off so good, so expertly, enclosing Jensen’s dick and his
balls all at once. Jared hunched forward seeking friction, huge and beautiful
and fucking him hard and fucking him gentle, trying not to grind him into the
floor like he needs to. 
His thumb brushes circles over Jensen’s belly as he nails Jensen hard, so hard
he knocks the orgasm right out of Jensen and his dick floods Jared’s already
slick hand, coated in oil. The dick in his ass--cruel, but the hand on his cock
soft, a counterpoint that lengthens his orgasm until he screams because all he
can manage is to flutter ineffectually around Jared, he’s stretched so wide,
come pumped right out of him clear and watery, but so much of it.
Jared loses it, grabs hold of Jensen’s ragdoll-limp body, draws as much of him
into his lap as he can to keep from crushing Jensen and royally fucks his ass.
And it’s kind of funny if Jensen thinks about it, the way he must look folded
over Jared’s thighs, bouncing up and down. 
But he can’t bring himself to laugh when Jared’s dick grows huge inside of him,
close to coming now, pushing any vestige of come left in Jensen and Jensen is
surprised to find himself dribbling at all. 
Jared rides him deep and good, humping his ass with everything left in him,
makes Jensen spasm with aftershocks and sink his nails into the carpet because
it burns and aches and he’s tired of writhing and twisting about around the
strange glowing sensation in his belly, in his ass, that shouldn’t feel good at
all but it does. Jensen doesn’t know what it means or what it is, because he’s
not even hard, but it becomes all too clear when it does peak and he screams
and clamps down on Jared, orgasm centered in his belly, bypassing his dick
entirely. 
He hears Jared come with a shout behind him, flooding Jensen and pulling out
before he’s done to come all over his hole, his back. And then collapses beside
Jensen, pulling Jensen to him, on top of him, to hold him. His lips pressed to
Jensen’s brow. 
“I shouldn’t have done that,” he says. 
“A little late for that,” Jensen says wryly, breathlessly. He really doesn’t
want to hear it. It seems everyone around him is intent on angst-ing and it
seems like a waste of energy to Jensen. In a month, he’ll be fourteen and he
has no intentions on becoming the typical alienated teenager. He has no reason
to. 
He has Jared and Jared has him now. It’ll take Jared some time to get used to
it, but Jensen will get him there. 
“You might be sorry,” Jensen says, “but I’m not and I’m never going to be. I
came twice, I swear.” 
“Twice?” Jared’s mind effectively redirected.
Jensen grins, “Yup, bet you're wishing you were my age now.” 
Jared’s eyes widen but Jensen quiets him with his tongue. 
"By the way," Jensen huffs against Jared's mouth. "Don't tell mom i raped you.
She might get mad at me."
 
**
 
It’s been a month. His birthday came and went and Jared hasn’t touched him, can
barely even look at Jensen. 
“Your avoiding me,” Jensen says, looking up through a fringe of very dark, very
long eyelashes. Jensen is more aware of his effect on other people than eighty
percent of the population. His Mama’s boyfriend always did say Jensen was older
than his years. Jensen agreed at the time and he doesn't disagree with it now. 
Jared drops his duffel on his bedroom floor, going still as he turns to look
where Jensen is hovering in the doorway, leaning against the jamb. Jensen is
gauging where they stand, how strong Jared’s defenses are and looking for
weaknesses to exploit. 
“I’m not.” 
Quirking an eyebrow, Jensen narrows his eyes at his stepbrother, folds his arms
over his chest. Jensen wasn’t asking a question. Jared’s response is
confirmation enough his behavior is deliberate. 
“Practice ran late.” 
“Every day of the week? For the past month?” 
Jared just doesn’t get it. Things could be so simple, cut and dry, but Jared
has to bring drama into a pretty sweet deal. Jensen had not asked. Jensen took
and he is now offering something up for Jared to take in exchange and Jared
isn’t getting it. Doesn’t get that Jensen is everything he needs. 
Right here. Right now. 
Jared’s voice drops, “Look Jensen, what I did-- what happened-- that was wrong
and it’s not just because we’re broth—“ 
“Stepbrothers.” It’s pretty ridiculous the way Jared is addressing him like he
would a child.
 “Right. I’m older. I should have—“ 
Jensen’s eye twitches fighting the urge to roll his eyes. Jensen hates clichés.
It shows no imagination. 
“Mom and Dad are leaving this weekend,” Jensen interrupts with a note in his
tone that leaves no room for subtext. “We’ll talk then.” 
Jensen can still feel Jared’s eyes on him as he walks away. 
He counts it as a win.
 
**
 
Jensen tells his mom that there are better things she could be spending money
on than sending him to therapy.
 It’s not like he learns anything he doesn’t already know. It’s not like he
feels the need to bare his soul about abuse that everyone sees but him. Jensen
likes sex. He likes to fuck. A lot. In fact he would be fucking Jared now if
Jared would stop being a dumbass, but Jared’s busy crying over spilled milk. 
He blinks when his therapist asks how school is going, if he’s made any
friends, if he has any intention of making friends when Jensen shakes his head
at her. 
Why? It’s pointless. Kids his age pass notes and giggle over holding hands. He
might as well be from a different planet. They have nothing in common. 
He doesn’t tell her that though. 
She worries he’s isolating himself. She thinks he should look to form
relationships outside of his family. 
Jensen shrugs and promises to try, although he openly disagrees with her
assumption he’s avoiding people in general. It isn’t deliberate. He’s
definitely not afraid. 
He’d rather study, he says. School is more important. 
What he doesn’t tell her is that he has everything he needs in Jared.
 
**
 
“There’s a party I want to go to. You gonna be alright for a few hours?” Jared
says to Jensen. 
Jensen wants to say that no, he isn’t okay with it. In fact he’s inwardly
fuming at the thought Jared might hook up with some girl. For a second, he
contemplates blackmailing him, but thinks better of it. It’s a surefire way of
alienating Jared. 
“Yeah, I’ve got plenty of homework to keep me busy,” he lies, thinking ahead of
ways to seduce Jared again. 
Jared is attracted to him. Jensen can feel it in the charged air and what isn’t
being said. He wouldn’t be so dead set on steering away from Jensen if he did
trust himself to do the right thing by Jensen. 
Jensen nearly laughs at that. The right thing would be to give Jensen exactly
what he wants. 
He watches Jared pick his clothes for the night, doesn’t hide the lust he
feels. The ripple of muscle of Jared’s back, an ass you can bounce a quarter
off of, all that warm, olive skin, the fringe of hair falling over his eyes
that he keeps tucking behind his ear. 
He takes it all in as he shuts the door between them. Jensen clings to it when
he’s touching himself, when he takes his time in the shower, sharing a Jack-
and-Jill bathroom with Jared, knowing full well Jared can hear him through the
door. 
Jared’s blush doesn’t escape Jensen’s notice; neither does the fresh smell of
spunk in Jared’s room afterward.
 
**
 
Jensen makes himself at home in Jared’s room for the night. Not bothering to
dress after his shower, splaying himself out on Jared’s bed with Madden going
on the Xbox. 
By eleven thirty, Jensen is restless and horny as hell and the smell of Jared
everywhere doesn’t help him much. He feels deliciously whorish playing with his
dick, legs akimbo. Recalls the sinuous heat of Jared inside him, the rich
animal scent of him, the too-huge, too-good, too-hot push of his cock. 
He feels around for the tiny bottle of baby oil floating around somewhere on
the comforter. Finding it, he snaps it open and spills it on his dick, his
balls, fat beads trailing over his hole. He uses plenty of it, leaving oil
stains on the fabric beneath him. 
He takes his time teasing himself, debates prepping, but decides against it. He
likes the pain of initial penetration, that too violent shove of Jared’s dick
into Jensen’s protesting body. Almost a climax itself, almost like breaking. 
Jared is coming home. That much Jensen is sure of. Jared is not the type to
skip out on responsibility. 
It would be embarrassingly easy to get himself off here in Jared’s bed, where
his scent is distilled to its essential components-- an acrid tang in the dark,
empty room. And maybe Jensen should, maybe Jared won’t be back. Maybe Jensen is
alone in his desire. 
But no, Jared wants it, it’s in the way he won’t meet Jensen’s gaze anymore,
won’t brush against him in his quiet shame. Jensen just has to show Jared the
way. How things can be if he just lets them. 
Jensen positions himself on the edge of the mattress, legs drawn up and toes
hung over the edge. He loves to spread himself open like this, loves feeling
bare and vulnerable. Reduced to his most intimate parts, pink and swollen and
ready to be taken for granted, longing to be used, longing for Jared’s love and
his disregard. 
Needs Jared to use Jensen to get himself off like it’s the only thing that
matters. 
He doesn’t hear when the door opens, but he does hear Jared’s footsteps, his
intake of breath, the smell of pot and beer displacing the six feet of shadow
between them. Jensen won’t open his eyes, won’t acknowledge Jared in the room.
If he doesn’t, than it isn’t real to Jared. Jared can pretend it's all a
fantasy and Jensen can lure him in with feigned innocence. 
The shift in the air is what tells Jensen Jared has come closer, his ragged
breath, and the tumble of his jacket to the ground, the fumble of shoes and
cloth cast aside. When Jensen hears the clink of a belt buckle he opens his
eyes half mast, humping the air in little jerks as he fucks his fist, putting
on a show for Jared, feeling himself clench and relax, knows Jared can see it
too, standing there, immense and beautiful like the Colossus of Rhodes,
remembering how it felt like to fuck Jensen, to make Jensen take him. Take him
all. 
It makes Jensen bolder, free hand paving a downward path to hook and tug at
himself. Give Jared a peek inside of what he’s already known and Jared falls to
his knees with a Jesus fuck, Jensen. 
And his face isright there, right there between Jensen’s open thighs, looking
at Jensen, his huge hands coming to rest on Jensen’s ankles, his breath puffing
over Jensen, fast and hot. He looks broken and lost and drawn to a breaking
point. 
“Jared,” Jensen moans, adds more vowels than necessary violating his vow of
silence, because he needs Jared’s flesh, his adulation, that mixture of
reverence and fear. 
“Jared, please.” Jensen doesn’t beg although it sounds like he is, because it’s
exactly what a moment like this requires. Whatever it takes and Jensen has
plenty to spare. 
“Please, I need you, I want you—“ Jensen may sound needy, fragile, but he’s far
from it. What Jensen really feels is empowered,in total control of his own
actions and by extension Jared’s. 
What tenuous grip on morality Jared may have had slips away. He sinks his
middle finger into the fingertrap of Jensen’s hole with a groan to match
Jensen’s own. It’s deep, deeper than Jensen is able to get. It twists
exquisitely, makes shapes dance behind Jensen’s closed lids. 
Squirming, Jensen slinks down flush to the knuckles of Jared’s fist, no longer
jacking off but holding onto the bed sheets and centering himself, face turned
to the side and legs coming up off the mattress to hook over Jared’s shoulders,
pulling him in, letting him know it’s okay. It will always be okay. 
“Want it just like this, Jay,” Jensen says, crossing his ankles between Jared’s
shoulder blades, heels to the sweat of his back.  He shudders with each tender
suck Jared gives his pulsing dick and balls, slicking him up wet, saliva
dribbling over his perineum, edging the edge of his hole to collect around the
in-out slide of Jared’s finger teasing Jensen open, leaching out the tension in
his body. 
“Lick me out,” he says to Jared. “Put your tongue in me, wanna feel your mouth
on me.” 
Jared agrees with the press of his mouth to Jensen, the dip of his tongue
alongside his finger and Jensen jerks with a yes and do it and deeper. Jared’s
tongue spreading him open so good and slow. 
He’s grinding himself against Jared’s smooth cheeks, his spit-wet chin and the
shift of his nose along the groove of his thigh. Jared’s jaw hinges wide,
mouth-to-mouth, one wet and watering and the other secret and silent and
clutching avidly at Jared. 
There’s a dirty thrill in this as much as there is in sneaking around, or
breaking taboos. It’s something Jensen can’t seem to avoid, tied intricately
into his sexuality from the very first moment he sat in a man’s lap bare-
bottomed and let him rub off against him, sort of confused, sort of turned-on,
maybe a bit scared. 
But it’s not like that now. There’s no uncertainty. Jensen knows where he
stands and what to expect. Jensen is calling the shots, not his body and not
Jared. This is Jensen pursuing his own ends. 
And it feels amazing. 
He grabs hold of Jared’s hair and pulls him forward into his ass-- the faster
implicit in Jensen’s actions, both voluntary and not. Jensen’s toes curl and
the arches of his feet tingle unpleasantly from the strain, he bounces his head
off the mattress and lets himself sigh and groan and thrash about. Songs of
desire measured by little uhs. 
Jared hasn’t made a move to slake his own want, seems hell-bent on satisfying
Jensen’s just like this, by tracing promises inside him, lighting him up and
easing him steady, sucking noises filling the dark, filling him hot and damp.
And he thinks of asking Jared to stop, because it’s so good, not like things
between them can be anything other. 
“Jared,” he tugs at Jared’s head, feels himself pulse wet at the sight of
Jared’s face, puffed-up lips glistening pink and slanted eyes burning. “You
gotta fuck me. Open me up with your dick—“ 
Jared slams into Jensen so hard, Jensen’s ass comes up off the mattress and he
bends almost full circle, their teeth clacking together and Jared taking his
mouth rough and dirty and deep, slippery with spit and oil, smearing it all
over Jensen’s face. 
Jared’s hands enclose his biceps completely and Jensen can all but see the
bruises blooming under his skin beneath the pads of Jared’s fingertips and it
draws a pitiful little whimper that only encourages Jared, his sweaty hands
pressing Jensen into the mattress, jerking Jensen around violently as Jared
scuffles his feet to pull his legs out of his jeans. 
Jared is too busy holding Jensen down, like he’s trying to escape, to line his
dick up properly and the head keeps missing Jensen’s hole entirely, jabbing at
him blindly, wildly. Jensen has to break the kiss. 
“Jared you gotta—“ 
Jared bites down on his nipple just as he releases Jensen’s right arm and
then—there—and oh, God, it’s big, maybe bigger, Jensen doesn’t know because
he’s knocked silent as he closes around the tip of Jared’s dick, which is no
longer—thank Christ—moving forward, but Jared is groaning into Jensen’s ear,
spine curved like a bridge over Jensen’s body and Jensen has one leg hooked
over his arm and the other around his ribcage. 
Jensen is stunned and stupid, taking shuddery breaths through his parted lips.
 “Fuck, Jensen,” Jared hisses between kisses to Jensen’s jawline. “So fuck’n
good for me. Like no one else—fuck. What am I gonna do?” 
Jared can’t honestly expect an answer when Jensen is trying so hard not to fly
apart around his dick, because he’s that full, overextended already and Jared
has yet to bottom out, has hardly even begun. 
But Jensen isn’t the type to back down, much less admit defeat, because as sore
as he was left the last time, the first time, it was so good he couldn’t keep
himself from plotting for the next opportunity. 
“More,” he breathes into Jared’s hair, “You gotta give me more. Fuck me with
everything you’ve got —“ 
Jared reaches over Jensen to grab the bottle of baby oil, shifting and jostling
Jensen gently to pour a generous amount between their joined parts, rubbing the
muscle around Jensen’s opening, around his own dick. Jensen has to hitch back
with his hips, too much, too soon, but so much of the pain he enjoys. Pain that
reminds Jensen of his own strength, his own ability to move past the weakness
of flesh. 
He spreads his legs wide and pulls them to his chest, sliding his knees over
the crooks of Jared’s elbows and his arms around his neck and he doesn’t have
to say a word for Jared to get it. To give him what he wants. Lifts off the bed
and takes Jensen with him, gaining inches inside him that Jensen was too
impatient to keep hold of, too turned on not to give up. 
But Jared isn’t through. Spins them around to slam Jensen up against the door
of his room, impaling him in one go, balls to ass, and Jensen chokes around his
own scream and bites into Jared’s shoulder, tasting blood. He licks at it and
Jared rotates his hips, making the door creak ominously with his movements and
loosening Jensen up. 
Somewhere between Jensen’s holy fuck you’re huge and Jared’s answering snuffle
the door begins to rattle and Jensen begins to sob, a little frightened the
door just might give out on them, might come off its hinges. Jared’s thick cock
spreads him wide, pumping into him, his entire body moving into it, propelling
Jensen up and back, then down and into. 
Jensen tries his best to keep up, bouncing against Jared’s thighs and the door,
back and forth like a sphere in Newton’s cradle, nothing but friction and
momentum and explosive energy from them both. For every one of Jensen’s actions
Jared responds with an equal reaction. 
Their rhythm picks up as Jensen goes lax, his hands feeling the bumps of
Jared’s spine beneath his palms, gathering him up and holding on, closing his
eyes to the slide of their bodies, the textured breadth of Jared’s glorious
dick. 
“Jensen,” he cries into Jensen’s shoulder, “Jensen, baby, baby—“ over and over,
less sweet than dirty. Jensen’s back stings, skin rubbing away against the door
and he bites the lobe of Jared’s ear to get his attention. 
“The desk—“ And they’re in motion again Jensen in Jared’s arms like he doesn’t
weigh a thing, like Jared can keep fucking him raw and senseless, even as he
stumbles, even as he walks, even as they groan their way across the room. 
Books topple off the top as Jensen comes down on Jared’s desk with an oomph,
Jared’s arms slipping away to grab hold of Jensen’s legs, pressing them
together and twisting them to the side and fuck—a different angle--but what in
hell was that— 
And Jared shoves into him deeper, pulling Jensen’s cheeks apart to watch
himself disappear into Jensen’s body and Jensen’s face heats up to be so
blatantly exposed, thinks of himself red and sloppy with baby oil and precome
and traces of Jared’s spit. 
Jensen matches his breathing to Jared’s, curling onto his side and bringing his
knees to his chest, baring it all and taking it all, taking what seems like
miles of dick and he has to reach out and touch the ripple of Jared’s abs and
the perfect swell of his pecs, bronze and beaded with sweat, desperate. 
And Jensen’s body goes hot and sweaty with exertion, with ecstasy, with
complicated love and desire. Jensen refuses to turn his gaze away from Jared,
his beauty and his strength. His long hair falling over his eyes, damp and
curling at the ends from sweat, his shoulders bunching together and chest
heaving like it hurts to fuck Jensen, hurts to want him. Jared’s kaleidoscope
eyes gone black and hungry and wide with awe like he can’t believe Jensen’s
able to take him. The two of them lost in the dark together, lost for each
other. 
With every thrust, every stroke, Jensen cries out, needs to, needs to relieve
the pressure of opening up, of filling up and he’s reaching for Jared, hunching
over his hips to grab hold of his chin and Jared looks to him, devastated. 
“Kiss me,” Jensen demands, not caring that he’s the reason Jared is falling
apart inside and out. He needs to start from scratch and Jared has to let him
put him back together again. 
Jared bites into the tender skin of Jensen’s lip, licks over it, knocks their
teeth together as he fucks into Jensen’s body. His hands gliding all over
Jensen, groping him, one hand on an ass cheek and the other on his nipple,
twisting it red and Jensen groans into Jared’s open mouth, laves the inside of
his cheek. Jensen’s belly aches at the hot sting of friction in his ass, in his
mouth, under Jared’s thumb, fighting the urge to shy away. 
Their voices break high and low, loud and soft, matched by the sound of skin on
skin, the suck and smack of their bodies coming together and apart. Oil
slurping around them. 
Jensen turns his face to part their lips and says, “Fuck me from behind. Want
it deep—“ 
He’s pulled off almost instantly, Jared’s dick leaving his body as Jensen’s
feet hit the carpet, but as soon as they do Jared’s inside him again and Jensen
holds onto the edge of the desk to keep his hips from slamming into it. Jared
helps him out by curling his hands over his bones to pull him onto his cock. 
Jensen’s dick is so hard it holds tight against his belly, refuses to swing and
instead slaps into his tummy, sprinkles of precome hitting his skin like rain. 
Jared kicks Jensen’s legs apart to get further inside, his fingers like claws
over Jensen’s hips, digging into them, cutting him with his nails. Jensen keens
as Jared’s dick snags on his rim, Jared’s hand sliding up his backbone to grab
hold of Jensen’s shoulder and thrusts so hard Jensen is pushed up on tiptoe and
if it wasn’t for Jared he would have lost his balance and face-planted into the
desk. Probably knocked unconscious by the brutality. 
Jared growls behind him, sounds coming from deep in his chest, his belly,
filling the room like thunderclouds. 
“So fuck’n good,” Jared sobs, “so fuck’n good. Jensen.” 
“It can be like this,” Jensen grits out, “all the time.” 
Oil runs down Jensen’s thighs, pumped right out of him, but the ride is silky
and savage for the scrunch of Jared’s pubes against him. Jensen holds his
breath to keep from coming with Jared pushing into him and pulling away like
his life and Jensen’s are in the balance. 
“Oh,” Jensen says, “Oh fuck, oh, oh—“ pulsing around Jared’s dick, erratic and
rhythm-less, but greedy, as he’ll always be. 
He’s driving Jared into the ground. Jensen knows this, but maybe Jared needs
it. 
“Come inside me,” Jensen commands. “Make me wet.” Jared’s huge cock burns
hitching into him, makes him sing with as much agony as pleasure. 
“Holy fuck,” Jared whines into the soft hair at the nape of Jensen’s neck,
licks the tendon there, the knobs of his spine. “Yeah . . . that what you want
. . . want me to mark you up? Make you mine?” 
Jensen doesn’t know how he’s able to answer, but he manages in short staccato
bursts. “You’re stupid if it’s taken you—shit--this long to get it.” 
His stomach hurts. He’s so tense, so ready to spill all over the floor and he
knows all it would take is a touch to his dick. Jensen would have already
without even that, if he hadn’t jacked off twice this morning. 
It’s impossible to squeeze down on Jared. There’s no room to, so Jensen writhes
his well-smacked ass into the cradle of Jared’s hips in lieu of it. Jared
applies his teeth, artless and hesitant to Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen can’t feel
the sting, but he knows there will be a bruise there as sure as there will be
bruises on his arms and hips later. 
They fuck hard and Jensen is hyperaware of his size compared to Jared, Jared’s
chest wider than Jensen’s back, his thighs broader and stronger; his nuts a
huge pendulum against Jensen’s smaller ones. 
It’s humbling. And hot-- Jared sliding in precome and oil and spit. His weight
could crush Jensen, but even now, he’s mindful not to, even when he’s hurting
Jensen with the flare of his dick, thicker than anything Jensen has ever
managed to get inside himself. It makes him shout and shake and leak all over. 
“So good for me,” Jared whimpers as helpless as Jensen feels. “Want you. Want
you so bad. All the time. All the time, your mouth and your dick and your
ass—fuck, your ass—made for this. Made for me.” 
Jensen totally agrees, but he’s unable to answer around the shift in Jared’s
angle, fat dick just nailing his prostate, making Jensen’s legs tremble and his
hands shake on the desk. His breathing quickens and he’s unable to stop the
mounting electric sensation in his belly. 
Jared’s huge hands lift Jensen off his feet completely and Jensen has to lift
his upper body in a half push-up to allow it. Jensen screams, because it feels
that good. So good it’s crippling. 
“No one,” Jensen hisses out, “No one but me. Promise me.” 
Jensen doesn’t know if Jared answers him, because he’s coming, long watery
ropes, his balls tucked tight to his body, tight enough to hurt. His ears ring
with it and his vision darkens around the edges, all of him reduced to the
seizure-like undulation of his muscles around Jared. 
“Fuck, so tight—oh my God,”Jared cries out. “Oh my God, Jensen!” He floods
Jensen with his load, pressed in so deep, riding Jensen’s aftershocks and his
own orgasm, his mouth slobbering against Jensen’s neck, his flat tongue
sweeping over his skin. 
Come seeps out of Jensen's body, coats his thighs. He’s almost sorry when
Jared’s cock leaves him empty, but he knows it’s better now than later. It’ll
hurt more if they wait. Jared doesn’t let him fall to the ground. Doesn’t stop
touching him. Turns him around and kisses him, lifting Jensen up until Jensen’s
legs wrap around his waist and Jared carries him to the bed, falling together. 
“Yes,” Jared says. “Yes.” 
Jensen frowns. “Yes what?” 
“I’m not gonna fight it anymore.” 
“Yeah?” Jensen’s voice is tremulous, scared, because if Jared’s saying what
Jensen thinks he’s saying . . . “You gotta be clearer than that.” 
“I promise,” Jared says. “I promise. Just you. Just us.” 
Jensen kisses him. "Glad to hear it."
THE END
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