Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/214429.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      Tavros_Nitram/Dave_Strider
  Character:
      Dave_Strider, Tavros_Nitram, Aradia_Megido
  Additional Tags:
      Frotting, Anal_Sex, Dubious_Consent, dreambubble, Inappropriate_Humor,
      Irony, Alien_Biology
  Stats:
      Published: 2011-03-28 Words: 2192
****** Sick Fires ******
by FailureArtist
Summary
     Dave Strider used to think this fanfic had been deleted. He was
     wrong.
Notes
     10/25/2017: I would say this is completely An Old Shame but the
     dialogue is so good.
                When adiosToredor first trolled him, Dave thought he was just
another internet kiddie diddler.  Disturbed but only slightly, he scared the
pedophile away with his Chris Hansen patented reverse psychology. Several
chatlogs later, Dave found out that adiosToredor was actually a teenager like
him and a rather immature one at that.  Dave’s opinion of adiosToredor
changed.  Tavros was the farthest thing from a rapist you could get.
                His opinion changed again when the troll pined him to the
ground and kissed him.
                It wasn’t totally out of the blue. They had been wrestling in
the dream bubble, just doing some friendly roughhousing, when Tavros started
playing it real.  Dave had speed on his side, but Tavros was much stronger, and
Dave wasn’t prepared to actually fight. Now he was on the floor of the hive,
his head hurting from being pounded on the uncarpeted floor, his wrists pressed
together above his head, and his legs trapped under the weight of an alien
superman. Dave tried to struggle but it was no use. The alien, looking even
more inhuman with its blank eyes, moved in closer and closer, its warm breath
fogging his glasses, its grey tongue slipping past its fangs, til it devoured
his lips. It then reeled backwards, and in a strange voice it said,
                                “Uhh,  I hate you?”
                                “What the fuck was that?” Dave sputtered.
                                “Oh yeah,” the alien said, “You guys probably
don’t have kissing, do you?”
                                “We do have kissing! Tons of it! But usually
not like this!”
                                “Uhh, what did I do wrong? Was it the tongue
thing?”
                                “Well, for one you aren’t supposed to breath
into me like I’m some type of resusci-annie!” he said, “Gog, that was the worst
first kiss I’ve ever had.”
                                “That was your first kiss?” Tavros asked,
“Wait, how many first kisses have you had?”
                                “No! I mean, you don’t kiss dudes you hate.
Actually, you usually don’t kiss dudes at all, unless you’re a girl. Okay, you
can kiss dudes if you are a homosexual, which I am not!”
                                “Human romance sure is confusing.”
                                “Wait, this is that weird troll quadrant game,
isn’t it? You want to hate-fuck me like carcinoGenetists wants to hate-fuck
Egbert?”
                                Tavros blushed brown. “Uhh, I wouldn’t say
fuck, that isn’t, uhh, very romantic, but I do <3< you with all my
cardiovascular system.” 
                                “Sorry bro but I don’t…however the hell you
pronounce that.”
                                Tavros frowned. “Uhh, that’s too bad,” He said
and then suddenly started smiling again. “ But I’ve decided I should stop
caring so much what people think. It’s better for my self-esteem that way.”
                                “Oh I’m SO glad raping me will help YOU with
YOUR self-esteem.”
                                “Yeah, you’ve actually helped me out. I didn’t
even know I had it in me. Even Karkat though I was a, uhh, pail failure and he
knows a lot about that think pan stuff. But then I trolled you and you said all
those things and it made me metamorphorized like a beautiful fairy.”
                                “You sure are a fai…no you wouldn’t get that
either,” Dave said and then looked down, “Oh gog what the hell kind of
tentacles are you smuggling in there?”
                Tavros looked down at his bulging crotch with a mixture of
embarrassment and pride.
                                “Oh wow, you really excited me. I didn’t know
it got that big. I really don’t know much about it, I kinda lost feeling down
there and then it ended up on the wrong side of my body but now it’s all back
in the right place with the right feelings so that’s good, isn’t it?”
                While his captor was babbling, Dave tried to escape. His
wriggling only made whatever was in that alien’s crotch throb more.
                                Tavros moaned, “Uhh, I think you should know,
uhh, your resistance only makes my thingy harder.”
                His captor responded by moving his knees together even more,
and increasing the pressure on his wrists.
                                “You can’t hold me down like this forever,”
Dave said.
                                “I guess I can’t,” Tavros sighed.
                Dave suddenly felt cold metal on his wrists.
                                “Where did you get those handcuffs?” he asked.
                                “From thin air,” Tavros answered, “I guess I’m
just really good at having a high imagination stat.”
                Dave pulled against the cuffs once or twice before giving up.
Egbert had taught him how to escape from trick cuffs, but these were the real
deal. Tavros not only had a good imagination, he had a very specific one. Why
couldn’t he at least imagine some fuzzy lining?
                With Dave’s arms taken care of, Tavros moved down to his pants.
When he touched the button of the human’s jean, Dave started bucking again. He
knew it was even more pointless now, but he wasn’t going to let Tavros just
have his way. 
                                Tavros again started moaning, “P..please don’t,
you’ll make me pail early.”
                                “Maybe I want that,” Dave shot back before he
stop himself.
                                “Uhhh, wow!”
                                “I mean I want you to stop, I don’t want you to
spray me with whatever caustic flesh-melting alien cumsauce you have in your
gray sacks.”
                Tavros opened the human’s pants while the human was busy
worrying about alien biology. He pulled down the jeans the best he could,
stopping to ogle the nacho-patterned boxers before pulling that down too. He
pushed Dave’s legs over his head while he looked at his crotch like he was
searching for treasure. He grabbed Dave’s balls.
                                “Uhh, what are these?” he asked.
                                “They’re my man-goo sacks!” Dave said through
gritted teeth.
                                “Man-goo?”
                                “Don’t try and open them up or I will fucking
open up your skull!”
                Tavros released his grip and Dave breathed out. Tavros hand
moved around Dave’s crotch.
                                “Where is your, uhh, bone nook supposed to be?”
                                “What the hell is that and why would I have
one? Why are you so surprised we’re biologically incompatiable?”
                                “I just thought since we look so much…ah! Here
it is!”
                Tavros stuck his finger right into Dave’s ass. Dave gave an
embarrasingly girly cry.
                                “That’s! Not! It!” he cried.
                                “It’s not?”
                                “No, that’s for exit only, humans NEVER put
anything in there,” Dave lied.
                                “Oh,” Tavros answered, but he didn’t stop
fingering Dave’s ass, “It’s awfully dry and small.”
                                “Of…of course it’s dry, it’d be, ah, real nasty
if it was spewing lube juice everywhere.”
                                “But you kind of like it, I think?”
                It was true. The fair-haired boy was blushing head to toe and
his cock was even starting to move. Dave cursed his totally ironic experimental
exploration of that area. Maybe if Tavros’s finger had been the first to ever
go where no man had ever gone before, his ass wouldn’t have been so pliant.
                                “Look, alien boy,” Dave said, “horny doesn’t
mean the same thing in humanese as it does in alienese!”
                                “Horny?”
                                “Liking something, ah, sexually.”
                Tavros moved his other hand onto Dave’s semi-flacid cock, while
continuing to idly finger his asshole.
                                “So what is this, uhh, bone bulge looking
thingy?”
                                “It’s my fucking spam porposise, my man
sausage, my goo gun, my, ahh, cock!”
                                “What does it do?”
                                “Gets big and hard and, ahh, goes into girls!”
                                “Oh!  Just like a bone bulge!” Tavros said,
“You do like this!”
                Damn, he totally failed that bluff. Even worse, his cock was
getting big and hard, just like he explained. Tavros moved his hand up and down
Dave’s shaft.
                                “What is this membrane on it?” Tavros asked
                                “It’s my, ah, skin…skinny…my foreskin!”
                                “What does it do?”
                                “Gets thrown into a medical waste disposal bin?
No, that’s not an invitation, you freak!”
                                “Huh, weird.”
                Tavros removed his hands from Dave’s body. Dave breathed out,
briefly missed their touch before regretting that feeling, and then tried to
sit up. Tavros pushed him down again. He wasn’t giving up, and he wasn’t
finished. He unbuttoned his pants and let out his alien wing-wong. Dave was
relieved to find it actually didn’t look that different from a human penis. It
was smoother than a human penis and naturally foreskin-less, but the head was
brown and slightly ridged. He was unrelieved to find it was much bigger than
his. It wasn’t much longer than five inches but it was very thick and fully
hard.
                                “What the hell is that?” Dave asked, though he
knew the answer.
                                “My b…bone bulge,” Tavros said, his eyes closed
and lips pursed. He actually looked almost endearingly goofy. 
                He grabed his alien gentials and pushed against Dave, trying
desperately to insert even a little bit of the head in his asshole.
                                Dave yelled, “It’s not going to fit no matter
how many times you turn in turnwise, you hornes ass!”
                                “I just need to wet it a little,” Tavros said.
He spat on his hand and then rubbed it on his bone bulge.
                                “What, no, do you go to the Brokeback school of
anal sex? Stop reading manga for girls!”
                                “Huh?” Tavros said as he pushed again into
Dave. He was slightly more sucessful this time. The oversized head streched
Dave’s virgin hole and he was starting to panic.
                                “No no no no stop it I fucking want you to die!
Again!”
                                 “Wow, you really are getting into this
kismesis thing!”
                                “Fuck you I really hate you! I hate you! I hate
being dead and I hate being stuck in hell with you and I hate that I screwed
everything up and now this is my punishment!”
                Tavros stopped. Dave was crying. He felt the tears on his face.
Great, he thought to himself, he’d saved his anal cherry and all it cost was
his dignity.
                                “Uhh, this isn’t right, is it?” Tavros asked.
                                “Of course it isn’t right, this is R-A-P-E,
asshole.”
                                “I mean I don’t know if I hate you or not,”
Tavros said.
                                “Well I hate you, douchebag.”
                Tavros looked even more sad.
                                “I thought gardenGnostic was my matesprit, but
now I feel like you’re my matesprit,” he said.
                                “You were going to put your alien tentacles in
Harley? You sick bastard.”
                                “See, we could have, uhh, competed over her as
kismesis, but now I <3 you and you <3< me. We’re stuck in one of those mobbing
ridearound relationships.”
                                “Don’t stick anything in me!”
                                “I won’t now,” Tavros said sadly to the wall.
                Dave thought it was over. He still didn’t move. He was sore. He
suddenly felt a hand on his cock.
                                “What are you doing now?” he asked.
                Tavros rubbed his mostly hard bone bulge against Dave’s.
                                “Uhh, I think this is what matesprits usually
do ,” he said, “Do you like it?”
                It did actually feel really good. Dave’s erection returned and
his blush again spread down his body.  He thrusted up against Tavros’s warm
flesh.
                                “Ahh,” he said, “You do know this is rape, that
is still totally a thing.”
                                “Uhh, sorry about that, I don’t really know how
our black romance is supposed to work.”
                                “Ahhh, nobody does. Just don’t stop.”
                The two teenagers grounded against each other on the floor.
They were still mostly clothed and Dave was still handcuffed, but neither of
them cared.  Tavros played with Dave’s foreskin, even pulling it over his own
head. Dave thought this was weird but those ridges did feel good on his
foreskin. Hell, the whole thing was weird.
                Tavros didn’t last long. He suddenly stiffened and Dave
immediately recognized it was his orgasm. Dave was alarmed when that alien
wing-wong started spewing chocolatey fluid. He relaxed when he realized it was
just the troll equivilent of cum, felt turned on by the idea it was him
creating this ecstasy, and then alarmed again when the stuff didn’t stop
coming.
                                “Holy everloving fuck, that’s what you use
pails for!” he said.
                                “Uhh, sorry, uhh, ohhhh, god…” Tavros moaned as
his orgasm finally subceeded.
                Tavros fell forward as if he was about to pass out, but
suddenly rocked himself back. He looked down at Dave’s totally drenched shirt.
                                “Uhh, sorry about the shirt,” he said,  as he
rubbed Dave’s cock in his genetic fluid.
                                “Fashion’s stupid,” Dave said, “Just get me
off.”
                Dave laid back and enjoyed the hand job. He was shamefully
close himself and came quickly after a few strokes. He looked down and saw the
small white splotch against the huge brown puddle. It looked rather sad.
                                “Uhh, does that mean you have white blood?”
Tavros asked.
                                “Only if I was a cyborg ninja,” Dave answered,
“No, we all have red blood. You’re the freaky one.”
                After a moment of silence,  Tavros undid Dave’s cuffs. Dave
promptly slapped Tavros.
                                “Uhh, I probably deserved that,” Tavros said.
                                “Hell yeah you do,” Dave said.
                There was a sound of bells as Aradia flew back in. She smiled
with a pride Dave thought was totally undeserved. He realized then he’d been
set up.
                                “So how are you boys getting along?” she asked
as if she didn’t know the answer.
                                Dave shot back “Are all you troll bitches
totally psychotic?”  
                                “Are you flirting with me, knight? In front of
your kismesis?”
                                “What, no! Jesus, I just got raped by the
biggest wimp in paradox space. That is so…”
                                “Ironic?” Aradia asked.
                YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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