Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/8742055.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      M/M, Multi, Other
  Fandom:
      Shrek_(Movies), Sonic_the_Hedgehog_-_All_Media_Types, Sonic_the_Hedgehog_
      (Video_Games), Gorillaz, The_Nutshack_(Cartoon), Bee_Movie_(2007), Kirby
      -_All_Media_Types, The_Legend_of_Zelda_&_Related_Fandoms, VeggieTales
  Relationship:
      Dickman_|_Richard_Cabeza_|_Tito_Dick/Dr._Eggman_|_Ivo_Robotnik, Shrek_
      (Shrek)/Kirby, Murdoc_Niccals/Shrek_(Shrek), Larry_the_Cucumber/Bob_the
      Tomato_(Implied/Mentioned), Shrek_(Shrek)/Kirby_(Kirby), Kirby_(Kirby)/
      Barry_Benson, Larry_the_Cucumber/Knuckles_the_Echidna, Murdoc_Niccals/
      Knuckles_the_Echidna, Murdoc_Niccals/Larry_the_Cucumber, Murdoc_Niccals/
      Knuckles_the_Echidna/Larry_the_Cucumber
  Character:
      Richard_Cabeza, Tito_Dick, Dickman, Murdoc_Niccals, Shrek_(Shrek), Barry
      Benson, Ganondorf, Kirby_(Kirby), Knuckles_the_Echidna, Larry_the
      Cucumber, Bob_the_Tomato, Dr._Eggman_|_Dr._Robotnik
  Additional Tags:
      Orgy, Threesome_-_M/M/M, Bukakke, Food_Sex, Gags, Cock_Rings, Onions,
      Circle_Jerk, Cannibalism, Anal_Fisting, Fisting, Satanism, Lasers,
      Fighting, Riding, Hand_Jobs, Orgasm_Delay/Denial, This_is_terrible, this
      is_a_mess, I_regret_this, Don't_Read_This, Dead_Dove:_Do_Not_Eat
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-12-04 Words: 1423
****** Shrek's Big Orgy ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     Shrek invites some friends over for an orgy.
Notes
     I literally regret everything.
See the end of the work for more notes
Shrek smiled as he heard a knock at his door. “Oh hello there!” he shouted as
he opened the door. It was Kirby, Ganondorf, Knuckles, and Dr. Robotnik.
Ganondorf strode in, his girthy Gerudo wang already erect. He was very excited.
“Thanks for inviting us to your orgy, Shrek.”
“Of course I invited you! Your gerudo ass feels good on my cock, Knuckles is
great at fisting, Kirby can suck like nobody’s business, and Robotnik is
animation's sexiest fat man.”
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Shrek went to go get it as Ganondorf whispered to
Robotnik, “Since when does Shrek have a doorbell?”
Shrek welcomed three more guests: Barry Benson, Larry the Cucumber, and Bob the
Tomato. As soon as Bob hopped in, Kirby saw his round red body and juicy flesh
and inhaled him, swallowing the tomato.
Kirby's energy had been fully restored, and he was ready to have sex. He began
stroking Shrek’s two foot ogre cock with his stubby pink arms. The two guests
of honor arrived just as Shrek’s cock began to drip precum.
Shrek didn't have to stop receiving his hand job in order to go get the door,
however. Conveniently enough, Murdoc decided to make a dramatic entrance and
kick down Shrek’s door. He ran inside Shrek’s house, fists above his head. He
wore only his Cuban heeled shoes, purple cape, and leopard print thong. He
walked up to his old friend Shrek. “Hi, Shrek… got any rum?”
Shrek grinned and handed a large bottle to Murdoc, who grinned as he popped it
open.
Behind him was Tito Dick, aka Dickman. Tito Dick slowly stepped inside Shrek's
house and surveyed his fellow guests. They all looked so sexy as they made
small talk by the punch bowl. He first approached the mustachioed man in the
red jacket.
“Why hello there. I am Dickman, and I am very famous for my large penis in my
home country of the Philippines. Would you like to see why?”
Robotnik raised a bushy brown eyebrow. “They call me Eggman because I can fit
ten eggs up my asshole.”
“Well, Eggman, would you like to try to fit my big dick in your asshole?”
“Absolutely.”
As Eggman climbed onto Dickman’s hard cock and began to ride him like a pony,
Barry flew over to Kirby, who had successfully made Shrek cum buckets of green
semen.
Kirby looked at Barry. “Hiiii!”
Barry raised an eyebrow. “Would you like to bee my first lover tonight?”
Kirby nodded, but because he was basically just a head with arms and feet, it
looked like he was rocking back and forth.
Speaking of rocking, Murdoc had brought his bass and was playing it as loudly
as possible in order to garner attention from the other guests.
Knuckles noticed Murdoc shagging his bass, and was immediately drawn to the
avocado-like hue of Murdoc’s skin. He walked up to the oversexed British
bassist and held up one spiky, glove-clad fist. “You can call me Knuckles.
Unlike Sonic, I don't chuckle. I'd rather flex my muscles… while I'm fisting
your ass.”
“Go ahead, but I'm afraid I left an eel in there yesterday.”
Knuckles lubed up his massive echidna fist and thrust it into Murdoc’s ass. In
one swift motion, he pulled out the eel and presented it to Murdoc. “Is this
the eel?”
“That's the one. Now we have to MELT ITS FACE!”
“How?” Knuckles inquired.
“Ejaculation.”
Murdoc began stroking his green cock as Knuckles stroked all four heads of his
huge echidna cock.
“I need… Something extra. I wish I hadn't left me upside-down rubber cross at
home…”
Suddenly, Murdoc noticed Larry sitting dejectedly in the corner and ran over to
the phallic vegetable.
He kneeled down next to the cucumber and licked his lips. “Need someone to have
fun with?”
Larry nodded. “My partner, Bob, got eaten by that pink thing…”
Murdoc chuckled. “Come with me.”
Larry followed Murdoc over to where Knuckles was jerking off on the eel. “What
are we doing over here?” Using his invisible arm, Larry pointed to the eel and
then looked up at Knuckles.
Knuckles stopped jacking his four-headed echidna penis and picked up Larry.
“What's your name?”
“I'm Larry.”
“Larry, have you ever been inside an asshole?”
“No…”
“Would you like to?”
“I've always been curious…”
Knuckles lubed up Larry’s body and shoved the cucumber inside his anus.
Meanwhile, Murdoc was preparing to nut on the eel. He pulled at his uncut green
cock and panted, tongue hanging out. Knuckles re-inserted his fist into
Murdoc’s asshole, which served as the perfect extra push. The bassist came with
such force that his semen splattered onto Dickman, who was on the other side of
the house.
Dickman glared across the room at Murdoc. “What do you think you are doing,
berde? Only attractive men can cum on me.”
Murdoc’s cold stare met Dickman’s fiery eyes and he stepped towards the poorly
animated, near-elderly pervert. “I am famous, I am filthy rich, and I know for
a fact I'm bloody sexy. Who the hell do you think you are, now?”
Shrek ran over, his two foot ogre cock flopping between his naked legs. “No,
no, don't fight! You're both sexy, that's why I invited you both! You can take
turns on my two foot ogre cock!”
But it was too late. Dickman took out his meter-long cock and charged at
Murdoc, who quickly realized what was happening and pulled out his green
schlong. Slowly, he began to jack it. However, he was no match for Dickman’s
laser dick. Retracting his foreskin, Dickman wildly fired lasers in Murdoc’s
general direction. However, Dickman was quite old, so his aim was off. He
instead hit Barry, Ganondorf and Kirby, who were barely affecting the story
anyway, so it wasn’t a big deal.
Knuckles grabbed Larry and ducked under a table. “I need to protect you, my
little phallus…”
Larry kissed Knuckles on the cheek. “I love you, Knuckles...and so does God.”
Shrek confronted Dickman. “You need to stop! Your laser dick is really cool and
all, but you can’t hurt all my other guests!”
Dickman scowled at Shrek. “You cannot tell me what to do, ogre. I am Dickman,
and you will go down on my nuts!”
Dickman charged up his penis laser for one final destructive blast, but Shrek
wouldn’t let his swamp get destroyed like that. He grabbed a mirror from the
corner and aimed it at Dickman, deflecting the laser beam and destroying
Dickman himself.
As the dust cleared, Murdoc ran up to Shrek and licked his cheek with his long
lizard tongue. “Shrek, will you fill me with your onion cum?”
“Absolutely. On one condition…” Shrek paused… “you have to wear this.”
Shrek pulled out a cock ring. But it wasn't just any cock ring: it was an onion
ring.
“That's okay, as long as you're fucking me.”
“Also, I want to gag you with this.” Shrek held out a peeled onion.
“Can you just fuck me already?”
Shrek chuckled. “Okay…”
Shrek pushed Murdoc down onto his back, stuck the onion in his mouth, put the
onion ring around the bassist’s cock, and penetrated his asshole. Murdoc moaned
against the onion as Shrek pushed deep inside, his large balls slapping against
Murdoc’s taint. All the others gathered around to see the two green sluts get
it on. Soon, they were circlejerking above Shrek and Murdoc. Shrek sped up his
thrusts in and out of Murdoc. Murdoc’s green penis was throbbing against the
onion ring. Suddenly, Shrek shot a massive load of oniony green cum inside
Murdoc. Shivering, he pulled out and came a second time onto Murdoc’s chest.
The other guests came closer to look at the gently glistening semen on Murdoc.
The sight was so oddly beautiful that Knuckles came on Murdoc’s face. Murdoc
spat out the onion to lick at the echidna cum on his cheeks. This rustled
Eggman’s jimmies to the point where he came on Murdoc’s stomach, artfully
aiming his penis to draw a pentagram with his cum. Larry jumped into the middle
of the pentagram
“Can I fucking cum yet, Shrek?”
“Oops. Sorry about that.” Shrek removed the onion ring from Murdoc’s cock and
Murdoc, pent up and ready, jizzed directly into the air. His cum landed in the
center of the pentagram, splattering Larry all over.
Murdoc grunted and licked his lips. “That was nice, Shrek… We have to do this
again sometime.”
Larry smiled, cum coating his whole body. “I think I'm a satanist now.”
End Notes
     By the way, Dickman calls Murdoc 'berde' somewhere near the middle of
     the fic. This is the Filipino language word for 'green'; Murdoc has
     green skin. I had to Google the Filipino word for green in order to
     write this story. Please appreciate it.
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