Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/6381694. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Gravity_Falls Relationship: Bill_Cipher/Dipper_Pines Character: Bill_Cipher, Dipper_Pines, Mabel_Pines, A_shit_ton_of_OCs_-_Character Additional Tags: cultist_dipper_pines, Emo_Dipper_Pines, graphic_depictions_of_self_harm, graphic_depictions_of_human_sacrifice, Human_Sacrifice, Animal_Sacrifice, this_is_just_super_fucked_up, Depravity_Falls, BillDip, cipherpines, chip and_dip, minor_possession, Possessive_Bill_Cipher, Bill_Cipher_Being_Bill Cipher, Teenage_Dipper_Pines, blood_cult_mention, illuminati_mention, satanism_mention, Inaccuracy, I_didn't_do_my_research, i_just_kind_of went_with_what_my_dad_said, theres_six_main_ocs, all_of_which_are_really fucked_up, Drug_Use, Mental_Illness, mabel_is_worried_sick, Angst, major fucking_angst_man, but_also_some_fluff, because_Bill_cares_about_his pawns, at_least_a_tiny_bit, SIN_EVERYWHERE, mockery_of_religion, religious_prejudice, im_so_sorry, Sorry_Not_Sorry, offensive_language, Offensive_content, Racism, Sexism, Homophobia, kyle_is_literally_the worst Stats: Published: 2016-03-28 Updated: 2016-04-17 Chapters: 3/? Words: 8936 ****** Show Me What You're After ****** by Zachattack11234 Summary A mysterious book captivates young Dipper Pines, a simple kid who was mistaken for a cultist and thrown around like a ragdoll. Well Dipper is fed up with the incredulous amount of shit he puts up with daily. Thankfully, with the help of a certain demon and a group of cultists at school, Dipper finally feels accepted and at peace with people like him. But is everything as amazing as it seemed? Notes Nyaaaahhhh shit man. This is fucked up and wrong but damn if I said I was not looking forward to writing this, I would be a liar. Turn back now if you get sick my the mention of sacrifice, because there will be some horribly inhumane and fucked up shit in the near future. Chapter one is not bad, but the rest is... whoo boy. Buckle up, this shit is gonna be fucking W I L D! ***** Young ***** Tuesday,_September_22,_2015   Nails bit into his forearms, roughly yanking the brown-haired teen forward, practically dragging him out in front of the school. The sixteen year old junior kicked and struggled against the popular jocks, yelling out in frustration. "Let me go, you pig-headed bastards!" The teen grunted when he was roughly shoved into the pavement, stray rocks and asphalt digging into his skin through his clothing. He growled and got up fairly quickly, turning around to right hook one of the jocks. His fist slammed hard into the other's cheek, knocking the older teen off balance and falling to his ass. One of the other jerks tackled the abused teen to the ground, causing his head to collide painfully with the concrete. The teen roared in pure rage and forced the other off him, swinging his foot around to kick him in the side. "Back off! All of you!" The bullies backed away, giving the gothic teen some space. He was panting and dusting himself off, glaring over at them. He noticed that one of them had a cross necklace and he scoffed, crossing his arms and walking past them to leave. "You know, your so-called "God" is just a ruse created by pitiful humans who have nothing else to hang on to for hope. Your saints, your pastors and priests, the Vatican and the pope, they're the most sinful of humans than you ever thought. They think they're exempt from the laws set up by Him, they steal your money in the name of God, and offer you a better life after death for your payment. There is no God, it's all for profit, and even if there was, then He is no forgiving, loving one. Do you realize how much of humanity is broken and suffering? My advice to you, is stop believing in something you've never seen. Oh, and also, don't you ever fucking touch me again, or you'll be a dead son of a bitch." That being said, the hateful teen grabbed his back pack and slung it over his shoulder, walking over to the student parking lot to meet his twin sister at his silver 2010 Mazda 3. The hopeless sixteen year old soon got to his car, then unlocked it to put his backpack inside. EVIL... The teen clenched his hands into fists. FRIGHTENING... His teeth grinded against each other painfully. SATANIST... He jumped into the driver's seat and slammed the car door shut, quickly buckling his seat belt, waiting for his better half to hurry her popular ass up and get to the fucking car. Thankfully, his sister made it to the car not long after, hopping into the passenger seat with a huge grin on her face. "Hey bro-bro! Ready to go-go?" the girl laughed, gently nudging her twin's arm. "Mabel!" the boy groaned, putting the key in the ignition and starting the car, moving his hand to the shifter and moving from "park" to "reverse". He glanced around to be sure that no one was in the way, then backed out of his parking spot and began to drive the opposite way of home. "We're going to the book store, then we'll go home. My english teacher wanted the class to buy The Crucible." "Okay Dipper, but please remind me why I have to go with you?" Mabel complained, pouting and shaking her head. Dipper rolled his eyes and turned up the radio, ignoring her. The song that played was The Devil in I by Slipknot, one of the teen's favorites. Dipper had begun to like hard rock and heavy metal early in his high school years, but he secretly still loved Disco Girl and a few other pop songs. Mabel was the only one who knew this, and she slowly began worrying for her twin, noticing how he went from a huge, adorable nerd, to a withdrawn, full-fledged Goth, perhaps Emo, even. Two songs later; The Vengeful One and Laid to Rest; the twins got to the book store, Mabel running immediately to the "New Teen Romance", and Dipper casually strolling to the "In School Reading" section. He looked through the selections until he noticed an interesting book out of place. The title was Dominus Sollicitus, and the book had no author. The book was all black and had strange symbols on the edges of the cover and the spine. There was no information about the book, which only seemed to intrigue Dipper further. Dipper checked and noticed that there was no price tag on the book, which meant it must not even be a book for the store. Dipper's brows furrowed, and he set the book down, even though his subconscious screamed to pick up the book and steal it. Was it really stealing if it didn't belong there to begin with? He quickly grabbed The Crucibleand walked away, only to go back and stuff Dominus Sollicitus into his hoodie. What harm could come from taking a book that nobody wanted anyways? Dipper left the area and began the search for Mabel, which ended fairly quickly, as he had found her near to tears while reading half-way into a cheesy romance novel. "Hey Mabes, ready to go?" "Yep, yep, bro-bro! You got the book you needed?" And more... Mabel walked cheerfully behind Dipper up to the register to purchase the required novel for school the next day. Dipper couldn't help but glance at all the book titles they passed, he found books to be absolutely fascinating! A few authors caught his eye, some of which were William Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe, H.P. Lovecraft, Steven King,and a few authors that Mabel adored, such as Danielle Steele, John Green, Nicholas Sparks,and Fern Michaels. Dipper walked up to the cashier, the thought of where Mabel went vaguely surfacing in his mind until he found her looking at cute bookmarks behind him. "Is that it for you today, sir?" the lady asked, bringing Dipper's attention back to the book currently in his hoodie. "Yeah, that's it." Soon, Dipper and Mabel got in their car, the stolen book still in Dipper's possession. Dipper couldn't wait to crack into Dominus Sollicitus,learning all the secrets this one of a kind book contained. Mabel hummed and glanced down at her phone, then back at Dipper. "Hey Dip, guess who just got asked out!" "You?" "No, but Danny did! How cute is that, huh?" Mabel squealed, typing away a mile a minute on her iPhone. Dipper rolled his eyes, driving home as fast as legally possible. Dipper didn't necessarily hate Mabel's friends, but he certainly did not like them. Her friends were a bad influence on her, and he just hoped that she would be able to tell right from wrong. Soon, thankfully, the twins got home, ending with Mabel running up the stairs to her room, and Dipper casually strolling to his, taking out the stolen book and sitting on his bed. "Alright, now... What language is this?" Dipper asked himself, taking out his phone and looking up "Dominus Sollicitus", finding that it was Latin for "Lord of Nightmares". "Lord of Nightmares, huh? Sounds like my kind of guy," Dipper laughed quietly to himself, remembering how his old, twelve year old self would be disgusted by his current behavior. What happened to the charming boy he used to be? That Dipper died a long time ago, along with his pride, and his happiness. He learned about how the world really works, how could he be so foolish before? Everything was so sugar coated, and he was lied to. Nothing he was told ended up to be true. And that's what he hates the most. Dipper turned the page and noticed tons of (probably) ancient scripture and symbols scribbled inside, with no possible way of decoding any of the messages. Dipper googled everything he could think of; Cryptography, Cipher, Encryption, Classical Cipher, Codebook, Plaintext, Key, Block Cipher, Stream Cipher, Symmetric Key Algorithms, Asymmetric Key Algorithms, Enigma Machine, MacGuffin Cipher, and Product Cipher. His research only managed to confuse him further, and he learned ultimately nothing. "None of these match up to this book! It looks kind of, Cult-ey. Maybe the cult kids know something about this book, I'll have to ask tomorrow. All this cryptography stuff is confusing," Dipper mumbled to himself, closing his computer and exchanging it for his phone. He checked the time and noticed that it was six thirty P.M. "Holy fuck, I studied this shit for three hours? How? More importantly, why?" "Hey nerd, dinner is ready if you wanna stop your studying to get some grub!"   Wednesday,_September_23,_2015   "Lucy, can I talk to you? I need your help-" "Yo, Dip, I can't help you with your problem. You're far beyond help-" "Not mental, man!" "Sorry, continue?" "I found this book," Dipper took out the book and sat in front of the brown- haired girl, showing her the cover. "This is Latin for Lord of Nightmares. But there's all kinds of weird symbols that I can't seem to figure out, and I was wondering if you knew anything?" "Let me see," Lucy hummed and opened to a random page, looking over the strange writing, seemingly analyzing it. She clicked her tongue when the thought finally occurred to her, and she looked at Dipper skeptically. "This is ancient demon language, dude. Where did you find this?" "I stole it from the book store." "Dude same. I can kind of guess that this says something about a demon of mentality, because I keep seeing the Latin root ment (um), meaning chin, also referring to the wordmental. Oh, hah,wow," Lucy tapped on the probably ancient page. "This is about a dream demon, the dream demon, the first one, the most powerful one. I can't really pronounce his name, but if I try hard enough I think I could remember which dream demon this is. He sounds like Xolotl, the brother of Quetzalcoatl, but I don't think this says Xolotl, nor is Xolotl a demon of the mind. This demon may be highly similar or acquainted with Xolotl, but it certainly is not Xolotl. Man, this is super intriguing! You have to let me help you figure this out!" "Of course, I wouldn't be able to figure this out without your help, you know more about this than I do," Dipper shrugged, taking the book back and flipping through the pages nonchalantly while Lucy muttered to herself about this demon being mentioned to her before by a friend of hers. That is, until he flipped to a page that had the answer written down. "Holy fuck!" "What? What is it, man?" Lucy asked before looking at the page, to which she audibly gasped. On the page was a single triangle, with noodle arms and noodle legs, a top hat and a bow tie, with a single eye directly above the bow tie with a brick pattern underneath it. "That's him! That's the guy, t-the triangle guy!" "Triangle guy?" "Yeah! The very first dream demon, I uh, I can't for the life of me think of his name. It's on the tip of my tongue, I know Adrian had mentioned him before! Everyone who's seen pictures of this demon, or have met this demon, associate him with the Illuminati, but that's not true on any level. There's a ton of cults about him, but I only know of Cipherism and Societatis Oculi Caecorum. They're the most well-known," Lucy exclaimed, a huge grin on her face, an expression Dipper never thought he'd see on her. "Maybe his name is Cipher?" Dipper suggested, waving at the drawing. Lucy hummed in thought as she analyzed the drawing, then a light bulb went off inside her head and she dug around in her pocket frantically, pulling out her wallet and grinning like a maniac. "Look at this, Dipper!" She pulled out a dollar and pointed to the eye of providence. "He's on the dollar Bill. His name is Bill, Bill Cipher! Oh man, oh man, this is so huge! You own the only book about Bill Cipher! He's chosen you, Dip! Dude that's so, it's so, so, AMAZING! Man, Adrian is gonna be sojealous!" "Chosen? For what, though? What's so important about me that a demon chose me? How did you even get to that conclusion?" "Okay, so, you have the only book about Him, and the fact that you just so happened to find it? Not only that, but you couldn't resist grabbing it, could you? He reserved it for you, he's planning something GREAT, and he chose the smartest, most reliable human he could think of; YOU!" Lucy practically screamed, clapping her hands together. "Dude, this is so huge. How many times in your life do you get to meet a prophet, let alone a prophet of one of the most famous demons next to the devil himself?!" "Wow, I'm actually important? That feels so weird," Dipper muttered, rubbing his head. "My only question is, why me? I'm not anything special, I'm not smart, I'm not athletic, I'm not talented, and I don't even believe in life after death, or demons and angels, or the devil and God, evil and good. So why me?" "Obviously there's a reason you were given this book. He sees potential in you, Dipper, he wants you to figure this language out, to find a way to get to Him, to worship Him!" Lucy took his hand in hers, a strange, kind of sisterly gesture. "Look, just go to one of the sermons for Cipherism, and see how you feel. If you'd like, I'll go with you, cultists never stand alone!" "You'll go with me in the middle of the night to some sketchy ass building to worship a demon that I just now found out about?" Dipper questioned warily, hearing the bell that signaled lunch's end. He stood up and grabbed the book, glancing at Lucy, who was scribbling something down in a metallic gold pen. She stood and handed him the paper as she started to leave for her next class. "It's my contact information. It includes my phone number, and the app I use to group chat with the others. Get the app and add me, then I can put you in the chat. Oh, and I have art next if you want to text me and discuss more about Cipher. Farewell, Dipper!" Lucy waved and got smaller as she walked down the hall away from him. Dipper immediately got the app while he walked to his Algebra II class, fighting with himself on whether or not he should skip class, then ultimately (and unfortunately) decided to show up. He ended up just making his messaging account rather than paying attention. He had made his username PINETREE, because something in his subconscious told him to do so. He messaged SERGEANTVANILLACUPCAKEwith a small introduction. PT: Hey Lucy, it's Dipper. SVC: Oh hey man, what's up? What class are you in right now? PT: Algebra II *rolls eyes* this teacher is a total bitch, I regret coming here. I should've just ditched. SVC: Dude same. I'm way ahead, so I've just been talking to the nightmare squad about demonology and the latest episode of Face Off. Do you watch that show? Oh, and nice username man. PT: I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not. SVC: No, I'm genuine. Yo, so I have a Cipherist in my squad, want me to add you to the group chat? Remember how I kept mentioning "Adrian"? Well, he's the Cipherist. PT: Oh, yeah, that'd be rad, thanks. Dipper got a request for a group named "Nightmare Squad", with the usernames SERGEANTVANILLACUPCAKE, CHANNELLUCIFER, SMEARINGCOLOR, HOLLYWOODHORRORSHOW, STREETYOUTHRAGE, and COUNTINGSTARS. Dipper was only mildly concerned. SC: *GASP* NEW COMER! KEEP THEM SAFE, we don't want to scare them away... CL: You're already making them uncomfortable, Mary. What's your name, lil' dude? CS: Be nice, Jordon! Show the poor thing some respect, jerk! CL: Oh, shut up, Jenny. Why don't you go find Forest, eh? RUN FOREST RUN, hahaha SYR: You're a dick, Jordy! Aren't we supposed to make an impression on the new blood? HHS: Kyle, you're making it worse! And who said it had to be a good one! SC: I said we shouldn't scare him off! Does nobody listen to me? SVC: Sorry, Dipper. They really have no filter. CHANNELLUCIFER is Jordon, SMEARINGCOLOR is Mary, HOLLYWOODHORRORSHOW is Adrian, STREETYOUTHRAGE is Kyle, and COUNTINGSTARS is Jenny. Guys, PINETREE is my new friend, Dipper. HHS: Ay, Dipper! Rad name, dude. CL: Yo man, you there? Did you die? SC: Did we scare him away? I think we scared him away... PT: What? Oh, no, no, sorry. My algebra teacher was being a fucking bitch. I had to hide my phone for a couple minutes. SYR: Eugh, gross. Teachers are assholes, man. Can't they ever understand that none of us give a flying shit about what they have to say? PT: Dude, true af CL: What teacher do you got, Dipper? PT: I have that stupid bitch Ms. Simmons. CL: Gross, I have her seventh. I hope she falls off the face of the Earth and never fucking returns. E V E R. PT: I can relate, dude. HHS: I like this one, can we keep him Lucy? CL: Yeah I agree, he hates the world, he fits right in here. SVC: I mean, yeah dude, that sounds rad. Oh, guys, we should tell him our cult information. He deserves the right to know. CL: Oh, shit. Totally spaced that. Sorry I'm fuckin stoned right now. HHS: Well, I'm a Cipherist, for starters. We worship Lord Cipher, the all- knowing, all-powerful demon of the mind. CL: I'm a Satanist, honestly. Demons deserve respect too, they're not all evil, y'feel? CS: I'm also a Satanist. I think I'm actually the only one in this group that has successfully summoned a demon in my room. CL: Liar CS: Faker. SYR: AYYY, shut the fuck up. I'm actually a supporter of the Illuminati. But nobody else needs to know that. SC: I'M IN A BLOOD CULT! :) It's actually really fun, Dipper! Are you in a cult? PT: I was, uh, actually considering Cipherism. HHS: YES do it. SVC: Well, I'm a mix of all, really. You can never go wrong with multiple cults if you ask me! Actually, I'm not EXACTLY a member of any, but I still participate! I'm more of a witchcraft, black magic type of person. PT: Oh wow, sounds cool! What kind of spells do you do? SVC: I put protection spells on my squad, and put curses on those who oppose my beliefs, or moreso, those who MOCK my beliefs. Those guys seriously piss me the fuck off. PT: I can see why. They're just dick stains though. HHS: SO, back on topic! What made you consider Cipherism? PT: Well, I stole this book and I noticed it was unlike any book I'd seen, and it was in a language I couldn't understand. So today I went during lunch and talked to Lucy, who helped me figure out some things about it. SVC: Yeah! Dude Adrian, it was super freaking cool! It was written in ancient demon language, and it was written about Bill Cipher! Dipper has the only book written about Bill Cipher! Cool, right? HHS: Dude really? That's fucking awesome! So what, did you just find it by mistake? SVC: Nah dude, Cipher chose him! He chose Dipper, why else would that book just be sitting out there in the open and NOBODY ELSE bothered to take it? Because Bill made SURE that Dip would be the one to get the book. HHS: No fuckin way. That's the realest shit I ever heard. Dude that's fucking awesome. CS: Does that mean I actually know a prophet? A REAL, legitimate prophet? CL: Dude, that's so fucking awesome. I'm so glad that this kid asked you for help, Lucy. Welcome, Prophet of Cipher! PT: Hahaha, dude just call me Dipper. CL: Lmao alright dude. SC: Oh, Dipper! You should come chill with us at Jordon's place after school, so we can discuss all this awesome fuckin shit. CL: Ah dude, you ever been stoned? PT: Uh, no? I have been drunk before, though. I had a friend of my sister go buy me some booze and I got fucking smashed. Not the same as being high though, huh? SVC: Not even close, homie. Don't worry, you don't have'ta do anything you don't want to. So, wanna hang or nah? PT: Sure, but let me drive my sister home first. She'd flip her shit if I just bailed on her. CL: Yea man that's chill. I'll have Lucy send you the address. I'm too stoned to remember what it is lmfao PT: Okay nice. "Wow, I finally have friends... Thanks, Cipher..." Dipper mumbled to no one. But someone was listening just out of sight... ***** Horrible Kids ***** Chapter Summary Picture this he was just a kid, not knowing where to begin. He wore all the wrong clothes, followed all the wrong trends, persecuted for the things he did. Picture this he was all alone, without a friend to call his own so he sat on his bed, with the thought in his head, with wishes that they all were dead. But soon they all will see... ~Horrible Kids, Set It Off Chapter Notes holy hell, you are going to hate Kyle. And Jordon's house is a mess. We're beginning to head into the fucked up shit real soon sweetie See the end of the chapter for more notes Wednesday,_September_23,_2015   "Hey Dipper, where are you going?" "Just to hang out with some friends, Mabes. Don't worry about it," Dipper replied casually as he dropped off his popular twin. "What's their name?" Mabel asked, nudging Dipper playfully with a mocking smile. "Is it a girl? A boy? Do you have a crush, Dip-Dop? Oh, you're dating someone aren't you?" "No, Mabel, it's a group of people, Lucy, Jordon, Kyle," Dipper trailed off, watching as Mabel's face quickly fell to a worried one. "God, Dipper, don't you know who those people are? They're dangerous, Dipper! I'm pretty sure Kyle is in the illuminati, and Destiny told me that Jordon has sacrificed someone to the Devil! Do not get involved with these people, Dipper, please! I'm begging you!" Mabel practically cried, and Dipper remained poker- faced. "I know you don't really have any friends, a-and that you're lonely sometimes, but just hang out with me! I'll find you friends, Dipper! I really will-" "Mabel, calm down. They're good people, I promise you that I'll be careful. Don't worry about it. Now I gotta go, I'll see you later," Dipper shrugged off Mabel's warning, and blew off the warning bells that went off in his chest, forcing his heart out of his throat. Mabel groaned and said no more, getting out of the car hesitantly. "What have I done?" Mabel muttered as she watched the Mazda drive away to somewhere she didn't know. Dipper's stomach, meanwhile, was doing flips, and he wasn't sure if it was from excitement or fear. Either way, he drove there with shaking hands. He knew he was nearing his destination when he came upon a street with homes that looked like they were old and falling apart. He looked at all the numbers on the houses until he found Jordon's. Jordon's house was a one story house with a huge window in the front, which looked like it was covered with a black garbage bag. The paint was peeling in places, there seemed to be bullet holes in the door, which were sloppily covered up by pieces of plywood. The garage door was barricaded by wood, there was graffiti on the walls, it was a mess! The house was even worse up close. There were desperate claw marks on the edges of the door as if someone was trying their best to get away from being dragged inside. There were also faint blood stains on the concrete steps of the front porch. There was a strong, bitter stench of marijuana that only intensified as Dipper approached the door, mixing with a different odor, one that was less prominent, one that the teen couldn't exactly describe, or identify. With a hesitant, shaking fist, Dipper knocked lightly on the worn door. "Yo! Dipper, right?" The door swung open, revealing a rather tall teen, who had at least two inches on Dipper. His hair was long and maroon, ending just above his shoulders, his eyes were shielded by sunglasses. He wore black skinny jeans with edgy chains hanging off the left side, and a small red hoodie with the sleeves rolled up just past his elbows. He had black fingerless gloves on his tanned hands, and the shirt underneath the hoodie was a cheesy "Insane Clown Posse" band tee. His entire slender appearance just screamed "douche". "Yeah, and you're J-Jordon, right?" Dipper hated and berated himself for how dumb he'd sounded. The taller of the two just stifled a laugh, nodding and leading Dipper inside. The interior of the house was less than properly habitable. There were trash bags acting as curtains and they covered every window in the house. There were no working lights, all replaced by the dangerously loose hanging black lights. Multiple drawings of the devil and various sigils, some that Dipper had recognized, others that were completely foreign to him, all littered the floor and glowed ever so slightly under the black lights, as well as a neon mushroom painting. Strange. The smell of weed was overpowering now, and Dipper could just barely recognize the smell of rot, and Dipper didn't even want to know what the cause of that smell was. There was an alter with a dagger and candles upon it parallel to the frazzled bed in the corner. A not-so-friendly looking Doberman laid lazily upon the bed, and two girls sat on the floor, leaning against the mattress, passing around a pipe. One of the two girls was Turkish, and had medium length, unnaturally pink hair, and a yellow flower crown perched atop the mess of pink. She wore a purple sweater whose sleeves ended just barely below her elbows, along with plain gray leggings, black vans, a gold nose piercing, and multicolored bracelets jingled over her wrists. The other girl was African American, and had long, curly black hair, unnaturally white eyes, which were obviously contacts. She had been wearing a white turtle neck underneath a black "My Chemical Romance" tee, more specifically, one for the album "The Black Parade". She wore black leggings, black buckled heels, and black lipstick. The other three people in the room that wasn't including Jordon were all across the room from the two girls smoking pot. The girl Dipper recognized as Lucy was sitting in a red bean bag chair, looking at her Samsung Galaxy Note 5. One of the other two boys was laying on the floor, looking up at the ceiling blankly. He was a medium sized dude with blue jeans, black converse shoes, a dark blue collared jacket with the sleeves ripped off, and a black "Ozzfest" tour shirt. He had green eyes, a mohawk with the front dyed blue, a gold eyebrow piercing, and a gold triangle shaped earring. His skin was impossibly pale, and Dipper wondered if he'd ever seen sunlight. The other guy was short and kind of dorky, adorning an open green collared shirt, a white undershirt, black skinny jeans, and green vans. He had black, square-shaped glasses, brown eyes, pale skin, and blonde hair combed over nicely. He looked a lot more proper than the other two boys. "Alright, Dipper, this lazy fuck is Adrian," Jordon pointed to the guy with the mohawk, and Adrian laughed and waved. "This is Kyle," he pointed to the nerdy dude, who shrugged in response. Something was off about Kyle, Dipper felt it in his gut. "The wacky haired chick is Jenny," the pink haired girl grinned and piped up a friendly "hello". "And the girl next to her is my girlfriend, Mary," the other girl smiled and waved. "I'm glad you made it, man! Come here, we have much to discuss," Lucy beckoned, all the others nodding their heads in agreement and moving to sit in a circle with Lucy, Kyle, and Adrian. Dipper complied, sitting between Lucy and Adrian, since they seemed the most normal and friendly. "First of all, Dipper, let's talk about our hobbies! Friendly, normal conversation before we enter fucked-up territory! So, I'm an artist, for starters!" "I uh, I like reading and writing, I guess," Dipper mumbled, feeling super dorky and out of place. Especially since Kyle kept looking at him like he was possessed. "I don't know, I have virtually no talents." "Same, honestly. I have little to no redeeming qualities," Adrian agreed, laughing softly. "But I can decode a few things, I think. I don't know, I just like to go on adventures I guess." "I can play the piano," Jordon stated, earning a smirk from Kyle and Adrian, and a quiet laugh from Jenny, Lucy, and Dipper. "Hey, shut the fuck up, it isn't funny! It's normal for a guy to play the piano. It's charming." "Uh huh," Jenny rolled her eyes sarcastically, moving closer to Dipper and grabbing his hand. "I like history, and astronomy.  I love looking up at the night sky and pointing out constellations, telling the ancient Greek and Roman myths about the stars. We should do that sometime-" "Jenny, stop flirting with the poor thing! You can't keep your slutty hands off him, can you?" "Jordon, don't be rude! CS: My favorite constellation is the Big Dipper ;) Then the bickering began, and Dipper tuned himself out. His messaging app binged twice, once with Jenny continuing to flirt with him, which Dipper found slightly repulsive, and the other being an unknown chat with the user, BILLUMINAUGHTY , and he raised a single brow at the strange attention. BN: Hey there, Pine Tree! Having fun with those cultists? Do you feel right at home, yet? I'm really hoping you are, kiddo! PT: Whoa, who are you, and how do you know what I'm doing? Did Mabel send you? Are you stalking me? Spying on me? BN: Whoa kid, slow your roll! I thought you were smarter than this, Pine Tree. I must say, I'm disappointed! PT: What are you getting at? BN: Holy shit, you're dense. The book, Pine Tree. The book. PT: You know about the book? PT: Oh wait I get it now, I'm stupid. BN: Bingo! Hit the nail on the head, kiddo! PT: So if you're really Bill Cipher, why haven't you shown yourself, or entered my mind or whatever? Why are you using human technology to contact me? BN: Fuck, man, you act like I'm an alien. I'm a demon, I need permission before I enter your mind. Common courtesy, if I may say. PT: Okay, but you're still a demon, so how can you message me? Plus, I saw your picture, you're a triangle with noodle arms, how does that work? BN: Wow, rude. PT: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend... BN: I'm joking, kid. Yikes, you're way too serious! Anyway, I'm an intelligent being of pure energy, you don't think I have my ways of constructing myself a human body via human transmutation? I'm an immortal demon inhabiting a human form, currently. I attend your high school, Pine Tree. I'm known as William Sifra. PT: I have not once seen you. And your human name is really obvious that you're the demon Bill Cipher. BN: Such naivety! It's obvious to you because I've revealed myself to you. Oh, and your newfound friends are talking to you again. Ciao! "Oh, shit. Sorry guys, this guy was texting me," Dipper sighed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly in embarrassment. "It's all good, dude. Who was it?" "Bi-William, William Sifra, a friend, from school," Dipper gulped and practically stumbled over his words, barely catching his mistake. "Oh, that freaky blonde stoner? I hate him," Kyle replied casually, and Dipper felt a twinge of anger bubbling deep inside his chest. How dare he hate Dipper's lord, Dipper's God? Dipper felt hatred twisting in his gut, and he felt like he was going to puke. He held his breath, and his face began turning bright red. "Are you okay, Dipper?" "I-I uh, I need some air," Dipper got up and walked out the door, not looking back at the confused faces of his new friends. Lucy and Adrian stood and followed him out, wanting to ask what was wrong. "Wow, what the fuck is wrong with me? I'm a hypocrite! I hate God, yet I get angry when someone else says they hate mine!" "What are you talking about?" Lucy asked curiously, making Dipper jump in surprise. "What does Bill have to do with William-oh, wait a minute." "Fuck! Shit! I exposed him, I blew his cover, oh man, oh man, he's going to be so pissed-" "Pissed about what, Pine Tree?" Bill appeared behind Dipper, causing Dipper to let out a girlish scream and turn abruptly, slipping and falling into Lucy, who yelped and tumbled to the ground. Bill laughed as Adrian kneeled down in front of Bill with his head down, muttering small prayers of worship to the demon in front of him. "They-they know who y-you are, my lord," Dipper stuttered, earning another burst of laughter from the demon. At this moment, Dipper wanted to dig his thumbs into his eye sockets and rip out his eyeballs in humiliation. The demon had golden blonde hair which covered his right eye, he wore a yellow hoodie with an eye on it, black skinny jeans, and yellow converse shoes. Dipper couldn't help but find the gorgeously tanned demon highly attractive in this form. "Pfft, so? They only hold me in higher regard now that they know who I really am. Although, the others inside that rats nest of a house will not hold me in much regard, and would actually expose me further. They cannot be trusted, and whatever you do, don't let them see my book. Don't let anyone else but you three see the book. You two," Bill pointed to Adrian, who was still on the ground, and to Lucy, who had helped Dipper up. "You can be trusted. Thank you for taking care of my precious Pine Tree. Now, we do not speak of this, but I will be keeping a closer eye on you three. Ciao!" "He keeps saying 'Ciao'. It's kind of charming." "He seems like quite the charmer, Dip." "Don't let Kyle hear that, he'll think you're gay," Lucy sneered, sticking out her tongue. "He's super homophobic. I don't like him, and I think that he should be removed from the group, but that's not my decision." "Well, I swing both ways," Dipper shrugged. Dipper's known that he was bisexual for a few years now, and he never actually came out except to his sister. "You guys aren't homophobic though, are you?" "No! No, of course not! None of us are prejudiced at all except Kyle. I don't really understand why Kyle is there, maybe because Jordon and Jenny like him. Jordon calls all the shots and makes all the decisions in our group, unfortunately. That's just one of many reasons my girlfriend never hangs around me when Kyle is around. He's extremely, tastelessly offensive," Adrian scoffs, patting Dipper on the shoulder. "You get used to him. C'mon, let's regroup." ^v^v^v^v^v^v^v "Dipper! Are you okay? You're okay, right?" Mabel launched herself into Dipper and hugged him tightly, tears streaking her cheeks. She was so nervous with Dipper being gone that she'd been crying. "I was so worried, I almost sent Destiny to go find you!" "Mabel, I was gone for 3 hours, tops. They aren't bad people, they're just misunderstood. Lucy and Adrian are super nice, you'd love them," Dipper sighed and squeezed Mabel slightly. "I can handle myself, don't worry." "Don't trust Kyle, Dipper. I can't stop you from being around them, and Lucy and Adrian seem like good people, but something about Kyle makes me nervous. He seems, I don't know, he seems like he has ill intentions. Watch your back, please," Mabel pulled away, turning around to go to her room. "Don't let your guard down." As she walked away from him, a soft voice called to him, seemingly out of nowhere. Don't let your guard down, Pine Tree... Chapter End Notes I have testing this upcoming two weeks, fyi. So this will update poorly for a bit Not that it wasn't updating poorly before hahaha I suck Anyway, chapter 3 is awful. I swear to god. Warnings include self harm (very graphic, much sad.) horrible depression, and likely more bullying incidents, and nightmares. I'll add more trigger warnings at the beginning of chapter 3. Things get shitty real fast. and Bill may or may not have more than two forms. ((UNTIL NEXT TIME!)) ***** The World Is Ugly ***** Chapter Summary These are the nights and the lights that we fade in, these are the words but the words aren’t coming out. They burn ‘cause they are hard to say. For every failing sun, there’s a morning after, though I’m empty when you go. I just wanted you to know that the world is ugly... But you’re beautiful to me. Are you thinking of me, like I’m thinking of you? ~The World Is Ugly, My Chemical Romance Chapter Notes TW: self hate, self harm, anxiety, panic attack, etc etc. You gotta remember something, Dipper has been depressed for a long time in this story, and he self harms every chance he gets. Even if it's just one small cut, or a ton of them. He's not overreacting, he's overwhelmed. And when you're in that state of mind, you do whatever you feel is necessary to forget. (Drugs, cutting, drinking, da da da da.) So please, take this chapter seriously. I'm begging you. I'm in positions like this sometimes, so this chapter means a lot to me, so be gentle, please. See the end of the chapter for more notes Friday,_September_25,_2015   His mind just wouldn't stop running. The gears in his head were working in overdrive, every thought screamed at him to break down, screamed to let go, let it out, but his instincts told him no, not now, not while he was at school. Currently, he was sitting with Lucy, Adrian, and Kyle in the F Hall stairwell on the second floor. They were talking about something, but Dipper's mind was elsewhere. His heart told him to confide in his demon friend, to get up and go to Bill, but his mind told him that he had no right. Bill was his God, his lord, who was Dipper to bother Bill with his personal crisis? BN: Pine Tree, what's wrong? I'm sensing some teen angst on your end. Would you like me to go to you? PT: Everything is fine. You know what I just realized? BN: What's that, Pine Tree? PT: Your name is BILLUMINAUGHTY, so your chat initials are BN, which looks like "Bill Nye". Are you secretly Bill Nye THE SCIENCE GUY! BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BN: Lmao no, Pine Tree. Stop memeing. That was clever though. Anyway, come over to me, I'm upstairs H Hall. I'd go to you, but that bastard Kyle hates me with more than just a burning passion. PT: Oh, um, okay... I'm on my way now, then. "I have to go do something, guys. I'll talk to you later," and without another word, Dipper got up and left to find Bill. No matter how hard the distraught teen tried, he couldn't swallow the lump in his throat. His legs shook with each step, nearly giving out. He felt like he was suffocating, choking, dying. His throat was feeling dry and his eyes stung with bitter tears, but he pushed through. He wouldn't let himself break, not here, not now. "Hey, freak!" "Fuck off, Isaac." Suddenly, Dipper found himself flat on his ass thanks to the asshole who had yanked his backpack off his shoulders. They unzipped the backpack and pulled out the book, Bill's book. "Oh, look what we've found, boys!" "Give it back. I will show no mercy if you do not obey me," Dipper didn't know what was happening anymore, he just heard white noise, and saw nothing. Was this what it was like to be possessed? Probably. He felt like he was a living ventriloquist doll, a puppet to an evil puppet master, a character in a story, his choices being made for him, his words being spoken and chosen for him. "Whoa, you grew some balls, haven't you?" "Give me the book." "Let's read it, it's probably his queer diary or something!" "I will give you nightmares for the rest of your fucking life, Tommy." "Ooh, I'm sooo scared!" "You should be." Dipper hadn't noticed, but his eyes began to glow yellow, with a few blue lines flashing through them. The bullies were thoroughly mortified, standing still as possible in place, their breathing becoming ragged and shaky. The book was given back, apologies were rushed and sloppy, and they ran off, and Dipper was confused as to what just happened. He was confused and upset, and walked to Bill with sagging steps, feeling even worse about himself than before he'd gone to see Bill. "Pine Tree! Come here, Pine Tree, I want to talk to you, it's important!" Bill nearly shouted from the other end of the hall. He was sitting casually on the floor against the wall, waving his arms around frantically to get Dipper's attention. "What's up?" Dipper walked close and tilted his head slightly, until he was pulled down into Bill's lap. He yelped and his face turned bright red in embarrassment. "H-hey! Don't, don't do that..." "What's wrong? And don't lie to me, I can feel your distress from a mile away. Something is eating away at you," Bill ran a hand gently through Dipper's hair, furrowing his brows and sighing. "It's not exactly healthy to bottle up your emotions like that, Pine Tree." "Well, I'm just," Dipper paused, sliding himself off Bill and onto the floor next to him. "I'm confused as to why you, I don't know, it was probably a mistake, right?" "What are you talking about, Pine Tree? What was a mistake?" Bill knew just as well as Dipper what he was talking about, but hearing Dipper say it proved that the teen trusted the demon, and that was one step to his master plan. "You didn't choose me, did you?" Dipper blurted out, covering his face with his hands. Bill just simply blinked, waiting for Dipper to continue. "I just accidentally picked it up because of my overwhelming, dumb curiosity, huh?" "No, of course not. How did you gather that conclusion? I chose you because you're magically talented, because you're smart," Bill retorted, gently setting a hand on Dipper's shoulder, causing Dipper to drop his hands away from his eyes and look up at Bill. "You're an important part in what I'm planning, kid. The sooner you realize your worth, the sooner I can launch my plan." "I just don't understand! I'm nothing, I've never done anything important, I'm not worth remembering, and I've never practiced magic! I never even believed in anything strange, in demons or angels, until now. I don't get it," Dipper sighed, turning his gaze to the floor. "And don't possess me again. Promise?" "Promise." The bell rang and the two exchanged goodbyes, Dipper going the opposite way of Bill. Somehow, even after everything Bill said, it still felt like a lie, and Dipper didn't know why. He wanted to believe him, believe that he actually mattered, but after so many times of being told that you're worthless, useless, and will amount to nothing, you start to believe what they tell you. BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THAT YOU REALLY DO MATTER TO ME, PINE TREE...Bill's voice echoed through Dipper's head, confusing him further. Was Bill communicating to him through his head? Dipper wasn't sure. Dipper got to class and sat in the back of the room, as usual. Nothing was really different. Bill? How are you talking to me? Don't I have to give you permission to enter my mind? And why does your voice sound more omniscient than usual?Ever since Dipper found that book, he felt weird, and confused. He never even asked what Bill truly needed him for, and he wasn't all that sure he really wanted to know what he needed, either. What was Bill planning, and why was Dipper part of it? WE HAVE A SPECIAL CONNECTION, KIND OF LIKE A SOUL BOND, BUT NOT EXACTLY. IT HAPPENED WHEN YOU PICKED UP THE BOOK. IT'S NOT EXACTLY A SOUL BOND, IT'S KIND OF LIKE A PARTNERSHIP, IF YOU WILL. LONG STORY.Dipper watched the bitch Algebra teacher explaining something complicated and useless. Dipper sighed and picked at his fingertips boredly, examining small scratches on his hands that he didn't remember inflicting, and listening to Bill intently. If you're not busy, then go ahead and explain. It's not like I'm actually paying attention to this fucking bitch.Dipper heard Bill laugh in response, and Dipper could practically feel the demon shake his head in mock disappointment. WELL, I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOUR DIMENSION CLOSELY FROM MY OWN, AND YOU CAUGHT MY ATTENTION, KIDDO. YOU'RE PRACTICALLY LEAKING MAGICAL ENERGY. YOU HAVE POTENTIAL. THUS LEADS ME TO OUR CONNECTION! I KNEW THAT ONCE YOU TOUCHED THE BOOK, YOU WOULD- "Dipper Pines!" Oh hell. "Since you seem to know so much about the subject, how about you teach the class, hm? Get up here, Pines." "I literally never once said that I know how to do this. What did I do that made you gather that conclusion? I have not disrupted class once, you're the one who stopped the lesson just to call me out for not doing anything," Dipper retorted, causing the teacher's face to burn red with rage, and Bill burst into manic laughter, as well as the rest of the class. "Don't smart-mouth me, child. You're not even paying attention!" "And you're not a good teacher." Gasps filled the room as the teacher seethed with rage, and even Dipper was surprised by his sarcastic, witty remark. Bill just laughed harder. Dipper soon found himself in the hallway, listening to Bill's laughter. It was almost contagious. OH MY GOD, PINE TREE, THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST SHIT I'VE EXPERIENCED IN A COUPLE CENTURIES. WELL, THIS AND THAT ONE PODCAST ABOUT THAT TOWN WITH THE SCIENTIST AND THE RADIO HOST. THAT WAS ALSO PRETTY FUNNY. Can you just continue and not talk about my failure as an algebra student? I already feel dumb. OKAY, BUT YOU SAID WHAT EVERYONE WAS THINKING, YOU'RE A HERO! ANYWAYS, WHERE WAS I? OH, YES, RIGHT. THE BOOK, OUR BOND, DA DA DA DA DA. ONCE YOU TOUCHED THE BOOK, YOU AGREED TO MY CONTRACT OF BUSINESS. TOO BAD YOU DIDN'T GET TO READ MY CONDITIONS FIRST. I'LL LET YOU KNOW THE CONDITIONS LATER. MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES, I WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU, BUT THIS IS HOW IT HAD TO BE. So you tricked me? NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT PINE TREE. I JUST NEEDED YOUR HELP, I CAN'T SAY WHY YET. IT'S A BIT HARD TO EXPLAIN. JUST TRUST ME. Alright, fine. I trust you. But something has been nagging at me since you mentioned it. What exactly is a soul bond? 0H, IT'S THIS THING, RITUAL, KIND OF THING, WHERE WE BOND OUR SOULS TOGETHER FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY. WE FEEL THE SAME FEELING AT THE SAME TIME, AND WE WOULD ALSO HEAR EACH OTHER'S THOUGHTS, WE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO GET TOO FAR WITHOUT EACH OTHER. VERY DANGEROUS BOND, VERY INTIMATE. Intimate? YEAH, I COULD HAVE USED A BETTER SYNONYM FOR THIS. HUMANS RARELY BOND THEIR SOULS WITH AN IMMORTAL BEING LIKE MYSELF. IT'S VERY COMPLICATED.Everything was getting even more confusing, and Dipper didn't want to trust Bill, he didn't think he could trust Bill. The bell rang, and Dipper just stood, brows furrowed, thinking about everything, everything. His head hurt, and he practically ran to the boys' restroom, tired, sick. He wanted his mind to stop, stop, and Bill wasn't even talking anymore. Dipper went inside the bathroom and sat against the wall farthest away from the door, hiding to skip his last class of the day. He didn't want to do this, to keep going. He wanted his mind to stop running, stop hurting, and he wanted to understand, understand just what Bill was saying, how any connection to himself permitted one to enter the mind of another. And didn't Bill say that he needed permission when they first spoke? Shaking his head violently, he forced the thought from his head and smacked his face against the wall repeatedly. "Stop. Thinking. About. Him." Dipper emphasized each word with another painfully hard smack after another. "Intimate..." Dipper forced out a strained laugh, holding his head in his hands and yanking hard at his dark brown locks. YOU'RE THINKING TOO MUCH, PINE TREE. Dipper nearly screamed and yanked a handful of his hair out, looking at the chunk in his hand. The tormented teen was close to tears, but he sat in silence, looking at the grooves of each tile, stained with spit, blood, piss, and other bodily fluids that he really didn't want to know was there after the many years his school had been in operation. Bill continued to send thoughts in Dipper's direction, but Dipper wasn't listening. No, Dipper was thinking about death, more specifically, his own. Meanwhile, Bill was raising his hand in english, waiting for Mrs. Rhode to call on him, so he could go to his Pine Tree and snap him out his panicked state. Bill could practically feel Dipper's anxiety. Dipper felt like he was choking, and he wanted to scream, scream so loud, but he couldn't, his voice was lost, swallowed by the sorrow that swelled in his chest. He sat against the wall, listening, waiting. He glanced at his watch; 2: 15 P.M... Had he really been in there for almost an hour by now? He sighed and let his head fall forward, hanging limply as he held back the tears that threatened to fall. "I can't, I can't," he repeated, beginning to hyperventilate. "No, no." SVC: Dipper, are you okay? You seemed super upset during lunch. Cipher said you skipped seventh? You legit never skip class, what's up, dude? PT: I'm fine, don't worry about me. SVC: No, you're not, you're really not okay, are you? Look dude, you don't have to face this all alone. Adrian and I will help, I swear. Bill would probably help, too. He seems to care about you. You don't need to stand alone anymore. PT: Look, this is just something that I can't fight, okay? This isn't something that's gonna pass, I'll live with this for my entire life, and I mean, it's been like this for three years, so it's not like I'm not used to this. SVC: Dipper, I'm being serious. I can help, the group, we can all help! I'll even convince Jordon to let Bill join us. Just please, let me help you. PT: Nobody can help me now... The bell rang and Dipper was out the door immediately, rushing to his car. No fucking way was Dipper going to let himself be victimized once again. He made it to his car in record time, and he hopped in, waiting for Mabel. He sighed when he noticed a text from his sister. Hey bro-bro! Go ahead and leave without me, I'm gonna go stay the night at Sabrina's house with Destiny. Love you! ^v^v^v^v^v^v^v It was perfect, everything was set in place. Every Friday night, his parents always went on a date to dinner, and the movies. They weren't usually back until three in the morning, so Dipper had time to himself. Time that he spent relieving the pain he held inside for so long. The cold blade cut into his skin, almost too easily, causing dark red blood to bead over his wrist around the razor. At this point, Dipper lost count of how many small scratches and cuts he had made that night, but he did know that he was pretty much drenched at this point. The voices in his head were arguing with each other, telling him to stop, telling him that he deserved it, keep going, no stop, stop, stop, God, please stop, stop, please, stop it! A deeper incision this time, and Dipper let out a pained laugh as he watched the blood pool out and drip onto the wood floor of his bedroom. A soft sound, similar to that of a tiny scream, came from the shadows as they grew in length and darkened in color. "Going across is a cry for attention, going down is for results," Dipper repeated the quote that one of his ex-best friends said to him. I'm nothing special.Dipper told himself, dragging the razor down from the tip of his wrist to his elbow. You're nothing without that book. Just another cutter with nothing left to live for. Your own family can't even stand you. The voices were more frantic now, but this time they were all on the same page, and not entirely in his head anymore. They were all at different tones, different octaves, all speaking in unison in a chorus of pleas and cries, and they echoed, they echoed in a familiar way, a comforting way, a way that reminded him of the demon. The booK WAS meaNT FOR You... YOU'RE SPECIAL, you're SPeciAL, you mean soMETHing tO ME, Y O U  M A T T E R... Dipper clenched his teeth and trembled, unable to will himself to stop. These next few cuts were the last on his wrists, and now he moved to less visible places, more tender places, like his thighs, and stomach. The shadows and voices grew desperate and louder, practically screaming in distress for him to stop, begging him, pleading for him to stop, keep staying strong, telling him that there's a reason he's here. The shadows surrounded him now, engulfed him, stopped him. They held him closely, didn't let him go, as if the teen would melt and slip right through the metaphysical fingers of the darkness into nothing. Tears streamed down his cheeks as the darkness held him, comforted him, whispered apologies and motivation. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, don't cut anymore, okay? You're special, you're special. You'll be okay, I'm here, I'm here, I'll always be here. Listen to me, listen to me, Pine Tree..." "B-Bill?" Dipper called, looking around frantically for the demon as he bled out slowly. He could feel himself slipping in and out of consciousness, but he wouldn't let himself pass out yet, he had to see the demon, had to know if he was there. The darkness drew back and Bill emerged from the reseeding darkness in front of Dipper. Bill knelt in front of the bloody, sobbing teen and held him in his arms, blood beginning to soak Bill's... Dress shirt? Dipper noted with his blurry vision that Bill looked a lot fancier now, his hair styled over and a triangular shaped eye patch over his eye. That seemed more fitting than his other form. "I'm right here, Pine Tree. Chapter End Notes Testing is murder. I barely managed to release this chapter in a reasonable time frame. (And, my apologies for "Street Dreams"... i'm at a bit of a writers block for that one...) I'm more than sure that I certainly failed the test.. PARCC is the W O R S T! Anyway, next chapter coming... eventually... EDIT: I actually added dates at the beginning of each chapter to clear up things a little bit. Next chapter is still in progress, but it's almost done I promise!! Thank you for your patience! Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!