Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/796336.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      The_Sentinel
  Relationship:
      Jim_Ellison/Blair_Sandburg
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universes, Drama, Sentinel_Senses, Sentinel/Guide_Bonding
  Collections:
      852_Prospect_Archive, Artifact_Storage_Room_3
  Stats:
      Published: 2003-08-04 Words: 30009
****** Sentinel, Interrupted ******
by elaine
Summary
     Ten year old Jimmy Ellison needs a guide. But when Blair arrives at
     the Sentinel Institute, Jimmy's need to protect his guide outweighs
     his sense of self-preservation.
Notes
     In some countries, this story contains underage sex. In my country
     the age of consent is sixteen, regardless of gender or orientation,
     so it doesn't.
Sentinel, Interrupted
On a long, hot, spring afternoon any chance of distraction was welcome,
particularly to a group of intelligent, active ten year olds. But one of them,
a sturdy, sandy haired boy watched and listened through the restless murmurs of
his classmates as the lab-coated doctors spoke quietly with his teacher. He
smirked slightly; you’d think by now that they’d realise that sentinel hearing
was more than capable of eavesdropping on their conversation.
Maybe they were counting on none of the children being interested; after all,
most of the other kids were far more concerned with the possibility of being
dismissed early from their class than listening in on their elders. Especially
when those elders were… well, boring. But Jimmy Ellison was interested. And
worried. He was the only un-guided sentinel in his class; some of his group had
been paired with their guides for nearly two years. He didn’t know what would
happen if he didn’t get a guide, but there were stories… frightening stories
about sentinels going rogue and being put down.
This time, it seemed, they were talking about him. As if to confirm what his
ears had already told him, three pairs of eyes turned to look at him, and Jimmy
hurriedly pretended to be interested in what Erin was telling her sentinel,
Marta.
“Jimmy. Jimmy Ellison, can you come here please.” Ms Torrence’s voice cut
through the rising babble of the other twenty children with ease. “The rest of
you get back in your seats.”
He rose and walked to the front of the classroom. The two doctors looked down
at him assessingly.
“Jimmy, you’re to go with Dr. Lawrence.” Ms Torrence smiled reassuringly.
“Don’t worry. It’s good news.”
He nodded, his mouth suddenly too dry for speech and followed the two men out
of the classroom. He knew the younger man, Dr Al-Bakir, but he’d never met Dr
Lawrence before. He was pretty sure that Dr Lawrence was someone high up at the
Institute, and that knowledge made his stomach squirm. Maybe they hadn’t found
a guide. Maybe he was going to be terminated, like some of the kids had said.
But Dr Lawrence was looking down at him curiously. “Well, Jimmy, we’ve finally
found you a guide. What do you say to that, hmm?”
“It’s… uh, that’s great, sir.” Jimmy glanced up and then looked away. He didn’t
like being looked at like he was some kind of specimen on a slide. The doctors
who looked at the kids like that were the ones they all hated the most.
“It hasn’t been easy finding a match for you, young man.” The fake joviality
made Jimmy flinch inside. “He’s… well, he’s a little younger than we usually
accept into the program, but his tests show he’s an excellent match for you and
he’s very advanced for his age. Small, though. Don’t let that put you off.”
“I won’t.” Jimmy looked at Al-Bakir, but the younger man was staring straight
ahead and seemed upset about something. That was worrying; of all the doctors,
he was the kindest, the one who treated Jimmy like a real person. But suddenly,
he could hear something else; the sound of a heart beating light and fast, like
a bird’s. Like a frightened bird. Unconsciously, he quickened his pace, missing
the exchange of satisfied glances above his head.
“This way, Jimmy.” Dr Lawrence gestured towards one of several doors, although
Jimmy was already turning towards it. “Just be… be careful. He’s just arrived
and he’s a little nervous.”
Nervous wasn’t exactly the word Jimmy would have chosen to describe the tiny
whirlwind he saw as he entered the room. Dr Lawrence hadn’t been exaggerating,
the boy looked like a real baby, no older than Stevie had been when the
Institute doctors had come for Jimmy and taken him away from his family. Like a
baby, he’d been crying, but as Jimmy watched the small, flushed face grew
alarmingly purple and the enormous blue eyes scrunched shut and the rosebud
lips parted to emit a shattering scream of fury. The little boy followed that
up with a torrent of swear words that were dirty enough to make Jimmy blink in
shock, and then smother a grin.
“Jimmy, why don’t you go talk to him. The presence of another child might…” Dr
Lawrence looked at him appealingly and Jimmy’s grin grew. They didn’t know what
to do with the little brat.
He walked over to the tiny figure and put a hand lightly on the boy’s shoulder.
“You shouldn’t talk like that. Who taught you those words?”
Amazingly the boy stopped. His breath hitched on a sob and he raised his arm to
scrub away the tears from his face, ignoring the snot that ran down over his
mouth and chin. “Mommy’s boyfriend. He said not say them in front of her.”
His voice was rough with tears but still had the piping quality of the very
young. Jimmy stared down at him, wondering why he’d been brought here. Most
kids didn’t even enter the program until they were six or seven, and then they
were paired up with kids roughly their own age.
He smiled tentatively at the boy, feeling an overwhelming urge to comfort him.
“What’s your name?”
“B… Blair.” Tears welled up in the blue eyes again and Jimmy hugged the kid
carefully. He caught sight of the doctors pretending not to watch them, but
ignored them and led Blair to a couch.
“Have you got a tissue?” He helped Blair blow his nose and wipe his face. “My
name’s Jimmy. Do you want to stay here with me?”
“I want my Mommy.” But Blair leaned in confidingly against Jimmy’s side and,
disarmingly, fell fast asleep.
***
“…and this one goes here, and that one…” Blair reached for the final piece of
the 3-D puzzle, “goes there.” He grinned triumphantly up at Jimmy.
“Okay, so you’re smart and cute.” Jimmy grinned, feeling Blair’s happiness as
if it was his own. If he’d been told two days ago he’d be spending all his time
with a three year old and enjoying every minute of it, he would have been
outraged. Yet, here he was.
It helped that Blair really was smart, would grow up to be far smarter than him
probably. It helped that Blair was his guide. But most of all, Blair was just…
Blair… and therefore irresistible from the top of his dark, soft curls to the
soles of his tiny feet. They’d hardly spent a moment apart since their first
meeting. Blair had been moved into Jimmy’s room that same day, without bringing
even the small bundle of personal belongings that most children brought with
them to the Institute. He’d only had the clothes he’d been wearing.
Jimmy hadn’t asked. In the four years he’d lived here he’d seen a lot of kids
arrive, most of them in tears and homesick for their parents, sisters,
brothers. After a while they stopped talking about going home and settled into
the classes and physical training, finding friends amongst their age-mates, and
then pairing up with their guide or sentinel when he or she arrived. It would
be easier for Blair if they just didn’t talk about it, so they didn’t. But each
night Blair had crept into his bed and cuddled up against his side and cried a
little before falling asleep.
Blair cast him a wicked grin before sweeping his arm around and scattering the
painstakingly erected structure. Jimmy rolled his eyes. If they stayed in here
they’d have to clean up the mess, so it came as no surprise when Blair
scrambled to his feet and stood, hands on hips, staring down at him.
”You wanna go outside?” It was a challenge. They were supposed to stay inside
while Blair adjusted to the Institute; a fact that Blair well knew.
It was such a beautiful, sunny spring day outside, and right now there wasn’t
anyone out there. All the other kids were in class, but Jimmy had been excused
from classes while he and his guide bonded. Surely it couldn’t do any harm.
“All right, but only for a little while, okay?” If they got caught, Jimmy
resolved to take the blame. Blair was just a baby, too young to be shut in a
detention room for hours on end, which was the usual punishment. Besides, he
couldn’t bear to think of Blair being alone, or frightened.
They slipped out of the door and ran for the bushes, Jimmy dragging Blair along
by the hand as his shorter legs struggled to keep up with the older boy. They
collapsed behind one of the bushier bushes, giggling. It was surprisingly easy
to find a place where they could bypass the security fence and emerge halfway
between the roadside and the lake. Jimmy hadn’t been outside since he’d first
arrived at the Institute, though he’d heard stories of kids who had snuck
outside. It was almost expected that they’d try, as a demonstration of their
sentinel abilities. Still, most of them got caught, and Jimmy had never dared
to try without a guide to stop him from zoning.
“Can you swim?” Jimmy smiled down at Blair, trotting by his side.
The dark head shook solemnly. “Mommy was gonna teach me when we got to
California. It’s too cold up here, she said.”
“Well, I can teach you. But not today,” he added hastily as Blair’s eyes
gleamed. There was a chill in the wind today that might just be warning of a
late snowfall. “It really is too cold today.”
Blair’s bottom lip jutted threateningly for a moment, and then he relented.
“Okay. Hey, is that a blue jay?”
In a moment he was off, chasing the bird, imaginary or otherwise. Jimmy
certainly hadn’t seen it, and he was the sentinel, after all. “Blair! Hold on,
short stuff. Wait for me.”
But Blair had probably never waited for anyone in his brief life and obviously
wasn’t about to start now. He disappeared between two bushes and Jimmy ran
after him, extending his hearing to track his guide’s progress. A high-pitched
shriek made him flinch and hurriedly dial down his hearing as he’d been taught.
It came much easier now that Blair was with him.
Then he heard someone else. Throwing all his energy into running, Jimmy plunged
along the barely visible track Blair had made and skidded to a halt. It was a
woman. Maybe the prettiest woman he’d ever seen, with pale, pale skin and red
hair like leaves in autumn. She was holding Blair tightly against her, and
Blair was saying over and over again “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.”
She looked too young and too pretty to be anybody’s mother, even a little kid
like Blair, but there was a look of determination in her eyes that wasn’t
pretty at all. Then she looked down at her son’s dark head, pressed against her
shoulder and stroked the little fist that held tight to the front of her dress
and Jimmy knew. He just knew that she was Blair’s mother, and that she wasn’t
leaving without her son.
“Sweetie… oh, baby, it’s all right. We’re going away from here. Everything’s
going to be all right.” She looked up defiantly at Jimmy. “We are going. I
won’t let those horrible men take my baby away from me.”
Jimmy swallowed and nodded. It would be so easy to stop her. He only had to
yell loud enough, long enough, and the security patrol would come. It was a
miracle they hadn’t already. He couldn’t do it. He knew what she meant. The
people who ran the Institute, the doctors who poked and prodded and tested, the
orderlies who were supposed to look after the younger kids but more often than
not neglected them, the teachers who turned a blind eye to the abuses that
older kids sometimes visited on the younglings… he didn’t want Blair to suffer
at their hands. He’d been determined to protect his young guide, but it was
better for Blair to go with his mother.
He took a step backwards and saw the pity in her eyes. “Can I say goodbye?”
Blair looked up then, his small face flushed and happy, but the happiness was
already turning to puzzlement. “Mommy? Jimmy’s gonna come too.”
“No, I… I can’t, Blair.” Jimmy choked back a sob. “I have to stay here. I can’t
go with you.”
“No!” Blair wriggled down from his mother’s arms and before she could stop him,
he’d run back to Jimmy’s side. “You gotta come, Jimmy. You gotta…”
“I can’t.” They were both crying as Jimmy hugged his guide for the last time.
He lowered his head and took a deep breath of soap and clean sweat,
instinctively memorising the Blair-scent. His fingers brushed lightly over
fine, silky curls, cupping the small skull beneath. Blair’s body felt so
terribly fragile in his arms, and it was almost more than he could bear to
gently release his tiny guide. He swallowed and wiped his tears away with the
back of his wrist. “You have to go with your Mom, okay? I’ll be all right.”
“Will you?” Blair’s mom spoke softly. The sympathy in her voice and face told
Jimmy she knew what he was. “I’m sorry, Jimmy. I’d take you with us if I
could.”
“They’d only come after us.” Jimmy spoke with bleak certainty. Guides could be
found easily, for the most part, but sentinels were rare, and sentinels like
him, with all five senses, were rarer still. They’d never let him leave. “You’d
better go.”
He gave Blair a little shove, back to his mother. Blair stumbled towards her,
sobbing heartbrokenly, and looking back over his shoulder at Jimmy. It was more
than he could bear, and he turned and ran, half blinded by tears and sobbing.
If he got back inside without being caught and went to his room, then it could
be an hour or more before anyone realised Blair was gone. He’d manage it
somehow. For Blair.
***
thirteen years later:
“Mom, for crying out loud…” Blair flung his arms wide and stared at his mother
impatiently. “You’re always saying how smart I am. All I want to do is go to
college.”
“Oh, sweetie, what do you want to do that for?” Naomi’s face showed a mixture
of amusement and unconcern. “They’ll only try to brainwash you with their
middle class, academic, short-sighted agenda. You don’t need college. Besides,
you’re too young.”
It wasn’t an argument that Blair would willingly accept. At sixteen, he was
used to fending for himself while his mother spent days and even weeks on
retreats and meditation groups. College was no great step from where he already
was.
Perhaps Naomi recognised that. She smiled placatingly. “I don’t mean you’re not
ready, I just mean why should you go where everybody will be so much older than
you? Why not wait a couple of years? We could go to Nepal again. There’s a
monastery there where you could…”
“Thanks, but a monastery isn’t my idea of a good time, Mom.” Blair grinned in
spite of his irritation and scrubbed at his growing halo of curls. “I want to
do something, to have some structure in my life. I want to learn.”
“Blair, the whole world is your teacher. Just tell me where you’d like to go,
what you’d like to do and we’ll do it, I promise.” Naomi looked appealingly at
him. “I’ve neglected you lately, but I’ll make it up to you.”
“Mom, you haven’t neglected me.” Blair sighed and went over to hug his mother.
Capricious and stubborn as she could be, he adored her and wouldn’t accept
criticism of her, not even self-criticism. “I don’t want to go anywhere. I just
want… to be normal. To be a college student, living in dorms and taking classes
just like other guys my age.”
“You can’t.” Even Naomi blinked at the baldness of her words. “Sweetie, I’m
sorry, but you can’t do that.”
Now, at last, they were getting to the heart of things. Suddenly nervous, Blair
swallowed and forced himself to ask. “Why not, Mom?”
“Oh honey…” She stroked his face tenderly and smiled. “When you were just a
baby some men tried to take you away from me. I got you back, but ever since
then we’ve been… well, hiding.”
Blair stared at her in silence and she looked away slightly guiltily. A lot of
things from his peripatetic childhood were suddenly beginning to make sense.
“That’s why I never went to school? Why we were always moving around?”
Naomi nodded, her eyes filling with tears. “I know it wasn’t the best life for
a young child, but I had no choice, Blair.”
“It was a great life, Mom.” He hugged her again, hating to see her upset.
Besides, it was so unnecessary. He’d had a great time, travelling, seeing
incredible places, meeting wonderful people. Not in a million years would he
ever regret it. “But do you really think they’d still be looking for us after
all these years? Who were they?”
“They’ll be looking.” Naomi muttered darkly under her breath. “Those people
never give up.”
Blair sighed in frustration. “Who?”
“The people from the Sentinel Institute, of course.” She nodded at his stunned
exclamation. “They had a bad reputation, even then. I knew they wouldn’t treat
you well, and you were only a baby. Far too young for that place.”
“But, I’m not a sentinel.” He closed his eyes frowning, forcing his racing mind
to still long enough to make sense of her revelations; and then he realised. “A
guide. They wanted me to be a guide! But you told me…”
“I couldn’t let them test you again. They would have been sure to find out who
you were, and then I would have gone to prison and there’d have been nobody to
make sure they treated you well.” Naomi clutched at his arm, her expression
desperate. “You do understand, don’t you?”
“I understand.” He did understand, but it had been his dream as a child to be a
guide, when most other children had wanted only to be a sentinel. When Naomi
had told him he had failed the tests every six-year-old undertook – tests he
realised now he must never have taken – it had been a devastating blow. “I do,
really. I just wish…”
“And I felt so sorry for the boy. He seemed like a nice boy. And he understood,
I think.” Relief, as usual, made her more talkative. “He said you should go
with me.”
“There was a boy?” Blair felt himself growing cold. His heart began to beat
hard against the inside of his ribs. He felt almost light-headed. “A sentinel?
Mom, do you have any idea what you’ve done? Who was he?” And suddenly, he knew.
Jimmy. His so-called invisible friend. The one he’d talked to for years, until
he’d finally given up waiting for answers. “Oh, my god, Mom…”
Jimmy was a sentinel. A sentinel who needed a guide. All kinds of pieces were
falling into place, like the pieces of one of those 3-D puzzles he’d loved so
much as a child. Suddenly he heard a voice, a child’s voice, saying ‘okay, so
you’re smart and cute’, but he couldn’t quite bring the face into focus. Jimmy…
he closed his eyes against the tears gathering there. Jimmy was real.
“I have to go, Mom. I have to find him.” Blair turned towards his room. He
could pack a bag. It wouldn’t take long to get to the Institute, a day at most,
and then…
“Honey, you can’t.” Panic edged Naomi’s voice. “If you go to those people,
they’re going to want to know where I am. They’ll put me in prison, Blair!”
“I won’t let them. Mom, it’ll be all right.” Blair could feel the urgency
rising inside him. So much that he hadn’t understood before made sense now. He
was a guide, and his sentinel needed him. Had needed him for years. “If they
want me they’ll have to leave you alone.”
“Blair, I can’t take that chance.” Naomi’s voice was more determined than he’d
ever heard it, and that was saying something. “If you go to that place, I’ll
have to leave. And I won’t be able to tell you where I’m going.”
She meant it. She really meant it. How could she make him choose like that? But
a part of him understood. She’d spent her life hiding from these people,
protecting both of them. But he had to go. He could no more have stayed away
than he could have decided to stop breathing. “Don’t you understand? He needs
me. I’m his guide and he needs me.”
“He’s probably got another guide by now, sweetie. It’s been thirteen years. You
were only three.”
“He hasn’t. I know that.” His absolute certainty silenced her. “I can’t even
imagine what it’s been like for him all those years. Mom, please…”
Blair watched his mother take a deep breath and close her eyes. She let it out
slowly. “All right. I’ll go away for a while, but I’ll find a way to keep an
eye on you. Just in case.”
He hugged her impulsively and kissed her cheek. “It’ll be okay. I promise.”
***
“Blair, it’s wonderful to see you again.” Dr. Al-Bakir held out his hand and
Blair took it cautiously. “I don’t suppose you remember much about your last
visit here?”
“No.” Blair suppressed a yawn. It had been a long day. He’d left the ashram
early, hitched a ride into the nearest city and walked into a branch office for
the Sentinel Institute mid-morning. Now it was evening and he’d been either
travelling or undergoing physical and psychological tests all day. “Can I see
him?”
“Ah. Well, it might be best if you waited until morning.” Al-Bakir turned and
began to lead the way deeper into the building. “In fact, once you’re in
possession of all the facts, you may decide it’s better not to meet him at all.
I’m afraid Jimmy is not… well, he’s not in a very good state.”
“I want to see him.” Blair’s heart began to pound. He couldn’t have come this
far just to be denied. He couldn’t. “It’s the only reason I’m here. I’m his
guide. What use am I to you, if I’m not with him?”
The older man stopped and looked down at him curiously. “There’s a reason you
were brought here, originally, at such a young age. Your test scores were quite
astounding, and Jimmy was already showing signs of being difficult to pair with
a guide. The fact is, we believed you could bond with just about any sentinel,
which gave us hope that it would work with Jimmy.
“We still believe that, Blair. Although you’re now a little older than normal,
we think there’ll be some young sentinel who would be willing to pair with you.
And if not, then you would be invaluable in training and recruiting both
sentinels and guides.”
“No.” Blair shook his head stubbornly. “I want to see Jimmy, and I want to see
him now.”
“All right.” Al-Bakir sighed. “I have to warn you, he may not recognise you.
When puberty started and he was still un-guided, Jimmy began to behave
erratically. It was necessary to medicate him with drugs that would suppress
his abilities. He’s now been on that medication for ten years. Even at the best
of times, he’s not very… aware of his surroundings.”
Unconsciously, Blair quickened his pace. Every moment he lingered was a moment
that he could be spending with his sentinel. “Where is he?”
“This way.” The doctor led him down a hallway lined with doors and into a small
annex. “This is our long-term care facility. Mostly it’s for sentinels who burn
out or are injured while on duty. Jimmy’s room is over there.”
Blair went to the door Dr. Al-Bakir indicated. Taking a deep breath, he opened
the door and walked in.
It was only a small room. There was a bed and a chair. Jimmy was in the chair.
It must be Jimmy, although the tall, thin, dark-haired young man was completely
unfamiliar to Blair. Then Blair saw that his arms were restrained in wide cuffs
attached to the chair.
Fighting back tears and anger, Blair pitched his voice low. “Jimmy?” No, that
felt wrong. This was not the fair-haired boy that Blair remembered as his
invisible friend. “Jim? It’s Blair. I’ve come to see you.”
The dark head lifted slightly, but Jim’s pale blue eyes were unfocused. He
swung his head slowly from side to side, listening. Blair moved closer, until
he was right in front of the chair. Jim sniffed suddenly and his forehead
crinkled.
“Yes, it’s me, Blair.” He knelt in front of the chair and put his hand lightly
on top of Jim’s. He stared up into a thin face with prominent cheekbones and a
strong jaw. “It’s Blair. I’ve come back.”
Jim’s head began to droop, and his eyes closed. Blair started to undo the cuffs
that restrained his wrists, struggling with the stiff binding. Then he
unfastened the straps across Jim’s chest, lap and ankles. Anger simmered
beneath the surface, though he didn’t dare let it show, for fear that Jim might
misinterpret it. How could they treat anyone like this, let alone one of their
own? Naomi had been right about this place.
When Jim was free, Blair reached up and touched his sentinel gently, stroking
back the fine dark hair from his face. Jim leaned into his touch, inhaling
deeply as his face turned in to Blair’s palm. Unable to help himself, Blair
stood and leaned into Jim, wrapping his arms around Jim’s neck and pressing his
face against Jim’s cheek.
“It’s going to be all right. It’s going to be all right.” He kissed the corner
of Jim’s mouth and saw, even in the dim light, the tip of Jim’s tongue come out
to taste. Saw the frown when, presumably, Jim’s senses failed him. Desperate,
Blair crawled onto Jim’s lap and dragged Jim’s arms around him. He pulled at
the surprisingly heavy body until they were as close as they could possibly be.
Jim’s hands slid over his back, searching, and finally came to rest with one
hand beneath his shoulder blade, where he would be able to feel Blair’s
heartbeat. He nuzzled Blair’s face, then dropped his head so his face was
buried against Blair’s throat. He sighed. “Blair.”
***
He should have known that they would be monitored. Scant moments after Jim
murmured his name, the tiny room was filled with people exclaiming and wanting
to examine Jim. The sudden confusion sent tremors running through Jim’s body,
and when someone grabbed his arm it was the last straw. He jerked it free and
almost tumbled to the floor. Blair, who was half on, half off his lap was sent
flying.
That was all it took. Before Blair could do a thing, four orderlies had Jim
face down on the floor, though he fought them with a strength that belied his
wasted body. Blair launched himself at the nearest, yelling at them to stop. He
was immediately hauled off again by yet another orderly.
“Blair, calm down. Jimmy needs to be sedated.” Dr Al-Bakir caught his arm when
he would have thrown himself back into the fracas. “Please, let them do their
job.”
“Make them leave him alone!” Blair tried to twist free. “He was all right ‘til
everyone came charging in here. You startled him.”
“This isn’t the first time Jimmy has become violent, Blair. This is for his own
safety.” The concern in the doctor’s face was genuine, but it only made Blair
more desperate.
“I can help him! I’m his guide!” But it was too late. Jim’s struggles were
rapidly diminishing and after a moment the orderlies released him. Freed at
last, Blair dropped to his knees beside the slumped body, fighting back tears.
“Jim? Jim, listen to my voice. It’s all right. I’m right here with you. I won’t
leave you. Not ever again.”
The sound of a throat clearing behind him made Blair look up. “I really think
you ought to reconsider. To be honest, I’m very much afraid that Jimmy’s beyond
help.”
“No! You saw how he responded to me. I can help him.” If there was one thing he
was sure of, it was this. “I want to stay with him.”
Al-Bakir looked doubtful. “I suppose you could sit with him for a while.”
Blair nodded agreeably. He had no intention of leaving, ever; but the doctor
didn’t need to know that. He waited impatiently for the orderlies to turn Jim
over and lift him onto the narrow cot that stood against one wall, then sat
beside his sentinel, gently stroking his arm. Gradually, the room emptied.
Last to leave was Dr Al-Bakir. He stood by the bed looking down at sentinel and
guide. “I’m truly sorry, Blair. I really tried my best with him, but he simply
couldn’t control his senses without a guide, and he was becoming a danger to
himself and others.”
“I understand.” Blair didn’t take his eyes off the angular planes of his
sentinel’s still face. He brushed a fingertip down one pale cheek noting how
Jim seemed to respond even to his lightest touch. He felt as if his heart might
break. “But now I’m here, Jim’s going to be okay. I know he is.”
Somehow, he didn’t think he’d convinced the doctor, but the older man sighed
and moved away. A moment later the door shut and they were alone again. Blair
kicked off his shoes while fighting back a huge yawn and slipped under the
covers with Jim, still fully clothed. He snuggled up against the thin frame and
wrapped an arm around his waist. In spite of all that had happened, sleep
claimed him immediately.
***
Next morning Blair woke early, even before the nurses and orderlies had begun
to stir. It felt so right to lie beside Jim and listen to his slow, steady
breathing. So many years spent apart, and yet the connection was there between
them. The rest of his life would be spent with this man. Blair had devoured
every scrap of information he’d been able to find on sentinels and guides. He’d
been obsessed with the subject for years. Hell, he probably knew as much about
them as anyone on the planet; he’d just never expected to be one of them.
It was a wrench just to get out of bed and move to the door on the other side
of the room. It contained, as he’d hoped, a bathroom – tiny and extremely
utilitarian, but good enough. He could stand a shower right now.
Emerging ten minutes later, absently rubbing himself dry with a towel, he
returned to perch on the side of the bed and realised that Jim smelled none too
fresh either. He pulled carefully at the hospital issue pants and tunic until
he’d managed, with a little co-operation from a half-awake Jim, to strip his
sentinel down to bare skin.
The sight of Jim naked made Blair’s breath catch in his throat, and not in a
good way. He was far too thin, and bruises marred his skin. Some fresh, from
last night, some older. It might have been abuse, but it was impossible to be
sure. If Jim was unco-operative, then that might have accounted for the marks.
Blair was inclined to believe the worst in this case. Some of those orderlies
last night had seemed to be enjoying themselves just a little too much.
Jim lay silent as Blair washed him down. His eyes were barely open and he gave
no real sign of recognising Blair but, when Blair began to smooth a soothing
gel over his body, he sighed quietly and relaxed. It almost seemed as if he’d
grown to expect abuse, or at least rough handling, from his caregivers.
When he finished, Blair sat holding Jim’s lax hand between his own. “Jim,
listen to me. Focus on my voice. Can you do that?”
There was no indication that he was getting through. Jim must still be awash
with sedatives, on top of whatever they gave him to suppress his senses. It
could be days before they were out of his system, after all these years.
Somehow Blair would have to convince Al-Bakir to stop the drugs. At the moment,
that didn’t seem very likely, but he’d have to try.
“Jim…” Nothing. Not the slightest hint of response. Then Blair remembered that
Jim had been the same last night, until Blair had touched him. He took the
pale, angular face between his hands, caressing gently, and brushed his lips
against Jim’s temple.
A soft moan, almost too quiet for him to hear, greeted his actions. Jim stirred
vaguely, his eyelids lifting a little. Blair smiled, but got no response. “Jim,
stick with me here, buddy.”
“Blair?” The confusion and disappointment in Jim’s voice was heartbreaking. It
seemed almost as if Jim could not register his presence unless they were
touching.
“I’m here.” Blair put one hand one Jim’s shoulder, the other on his cheek. “I’m
right here, Jim, just look at me.”
But Jim’s eyes, clearly unfocused, drifted past his face without pausing.
Blair’s heart began to hammer in his chest. Jim was blind.
***
“Blair, I’m afraid you don’t appreciate the severity of Jimmy’s situation.” Dr
Al-Bakir smiled placidly. “He’s been on this medication for nearly ten years.
And it’s not as simple as a single drug. Jimmy’s treatment is a complex
cocktail of drugs which has taken years of experimentation to develop.”
“But…” Blair bit back his hasty response as the doctor raised his hand,
demanding his attention.
“I would be the first to admit that this treatment is far from perfect, but
it’s the best we’ve been able to come up with.”
“Jim is blind.” Blair leaned forward, eager to get his point across. “Look, I
know I’ve only just got here, but I’ve read everything I could find on
sentinels. I even read the original Burton manuscript and the late Twentieth
Century studies.”
“That’s certainly a promising start.” Al-Bakir smiled. “However the most
detailed and in-depth studies undertaken by the Sentinel Institute are not
released to the general public, for obvious reasons. You could spend the next
ten years studying and you’d still only be at the level that I was when I
arrived here fifteen years ago.”
“Maybe, but I have an advantage you don’t.” This, surely, was the clincher…
“I’m Jim’s guide. There’s already a connection there. I can reach him when
nobody else can.”
The doctor sighed. “I’m sorry, Blair, but I’m afraid that reading those early
works has given you a somewhat romanticised view of what a sentinel-guide bond
entails.”
“Don’t patronise me.” Blair almost snarled the words. He’d grown used to people
underestimating him because of his age and size, but this was too important to
let it slide. “I’ve already got further with Jim in one night than all your
drugs and crap has done for him in years. I can help him.”
“You don’t know that, Blair.” The older man’s expression and voice were
unchanged. “We can’t just stop Jimmy’s medication because you believe you can
do better. Do you have any idea how dangerous that could be? Not only to Jimmy,
but to yourself and anyone who has to deal with him?”
Blair smiled with absolute confidence. “He won’t hurt me. I’m his guide.”
“He’s hurt other guides.” Al-Bakir handed Blair a folder. “After you… left… we
tried to find another guide for him. He rejected the prospective guides quite
violently. Even under the best circumstances, Jimmy’s inability to control his
senses makes him dangerous.”
Blair looked down at the folder without opening it, fighting back his
frustration. He couldn’t afford to alienate the doctor, for Jim’s sake, but he
knew Al-Bakir was wrong. He could reach Jim. He would. A gentle pat on his arm
made him look up at the older man.
“I’m sorry. I can’t just give up on him. I can’t.” He forced a smile, tried to
look submissive and pleading. He didn’t care what he had to do in order to be
with Jim. “Please, just give me a few days. Let me try, and if it doesn’t work,
then I’ll do whatever you want.”
He was subjected to a long, considering stare. “All right. I’ll give you three
days. But Jimmy will continue to receive his medication.”
Three days! Blair almost objected, but thought better of it. He didn’t know how
far he would get in such a short time, but at least it was a reprieve.
Something told him he wasn’t likely to get a better offer.
***
By the time he got back to Jim’s room, a nurse had arrived and, with the help
of an orderly, was manhandling Jim into the chair he’d been sitting in last
night when Blair had arrived. Fighting back the urge to scream abuse at them,
Blair hurried to intervene. “It’s all right. I’ll look after him. Dr Al-Bakir’s
okayed it.”
“Has he?” The nurse looked doubtful but released Jim’s arm. “You’re going to
feed him too?”
“And wipe his ass?” The orderly looked amused. “He’s not easy to deal with.”
“I’ll manage.” Blair didn’t like the look of either of them. He touched Jim’s
shoulder lightly and saw him straighten a little. “Come on, buddy.”
He tugged gently and Jim took the two shuffling steps that brought him to the
chair. With Blair’s help, he sat, his face turned up even though he clearly saw
nothing. Blair stroked a hand across the mop of fine dark hair reassuringly.
“See? He’ll be fine. Do you have his food and medication?”
“It’s over here.” The nurse indicated a tray on the bench just inside the door.
“Well, there’s plenty more for us to do.”
“Sure. Thanks.” Blair barely noticed them leaving as he bent over Jim. “Time
for breakfast, Jim. You hungry?”
It took a long time to feed Jim; in spite of his thinness, the young sentinel
seemed to have little appetite. When Blair tasted the food he understood why.
It was almost unbearably bland, which came as no great surprise, considering
Jim’s condition, but it was also unmistakeably synthetic. How did they expect a
sentinel, even one as drugged as Jim was, to eat this crap?
Eventually, he managed to feed most of it to Jim, all the time talking and
touching him to reaffirm his own presence to the sentinel. When it was done and
he investigated the medicated patch left behind by the nurse, Blair came to a
fundamental decision. Instead of replacing the old patch with the new, he
placed it over the old patch. Some of the drug would still get through, but it
ought to slow down its release into Jim’s system. He would have preferred to
simply get rid of both, but there was always the chance that Al-Bakir was
right, and that simply stopping the medication would endanger Jim’s life. This
way, he could hope to give Jim a chance to improve before anyone found out what
was happening. He only had three days to convince the doctor that Jim could be
saved.
The rest of the morning was spent in physical therapy, or at least, the limited
version of it that Blair was able to provide on his own. He massaged Jim’s
hands and feet, and tried to lead him through movements of his arms and legs.
And he talked, endlessly. Of course that had never been a problem for Blair,
but even he was stretched by this. His voice grew scratchy and weak.
By the time the mid-day meal arrived, Jim seemed a little more responsive, even
slurring a few disjointed words from time to time, and Blair was elated. But
the sight of the unappetising glob of mush on the tray was enough to set his
stomach plunging. “Uh… do you think you could bring us something fresh? Some
fruit, maybe?”
“This contains all the nutrients Jimmy will need.” The offended tone would have
amused him in any other circumstances.
“But it doesn’t taste good.” Blair smiled winningly. He wasn’t Naomi’s son for
nothing. “I mean, would you eat it?”
The corners of her mouth curled up a little. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thanks.” Blair grinned. “Something soft. Easy to chew.”
She came back half an hour later with a plate of fruit, cut into bite-sized
pieces, and immediately Jim’s head lifted and his nostrils flared. Blair
grabbed a juicy segment of orange and held it to his sentinel’s lips. Jim’s
tongue snaked out, tasting and then his head lunged forward and he grabbed at
the fruit with lips and teeth. Blair grinned triumphantly at the nurse and she
laughed as she left. “Don’t let him bite you.”
It wasn’t such bad advice, actually. Blair had his work cut out for him to get
the fruit into Jim’s mouth without getting his fingers nipped until he managed
to get Jim to take the pieces into his own hand. Even feeding himself seemed to
be something that Jim had been discouraged from doing. Blair sighed and stroked
Jim’s cheek while murmuring encouragement.
By the time the fruit was finished, Blair could understand why the orderlies
preferred to feed Jim rather than allow him to feed himself. The pale face was
sticky with fruit juices and there were splotches of food on his top. “Come on,
let’s get you cleaned up and then maybe we can go outside for a while. You
wanna go outside, Jim?”
“Outside…” Jim’s head lifted and a little frown appeared between his eyebrows.
“Blair, don’t. Don’t go.”
“Hey. We’ll both go. It’ll be great.” Blair caught hold of the hands that
reached urgently for him. “The sun’s shining and there’s trees and grass.
You’ll love it.”
“Don’t leave. Please, Blair. Don’t leave me.” Jim’s voice was shaky and hoarse
from lack of use. “Please.”
“I won’t leave you, Jim.” He knelt in front of the agitated sentinel and took
his face between both of his hands. His vision blurred and his voice thickened.
“I won’t ever leave you again. I promise.”
Jim calmed a little, but the frown remained. “Please.”
“I promise.” Blair kissed him gently on the lips. It was a promise he intended
to keep, come what may. “I’m your guide. I’m never gonna leave you. Never.”
Nothing was going to entirely allay Jim’s fears, that much was obvious; but he
was docile enough as Blair washed his face and hands and exchanged the dirty
top for a clean one. Then Blair took one arm in a firm grip and slipped his
free hand around Jim’s waist, gently leading him towards the door. He baulked a
little at the sounds echoing down the hallway, though they weren’t overly loud.
Blair stopped and let him adjust to the new environment until he thought Jim
was ready to continue. Gradually, they made their way to the outside door.
Jim flinched when the warmth of the sunlight hit his face, then smiled
nervously. “Outside?”
“Yeah. We’re in the garden.” Blair led him across a small patch of grass to a
tree with a bench beneath it. “Let’s just sit and enjoy it, huh?”
They sat, and Jim fell back into the silence that seemed to be natural to him.
Blair wondered, angrily, if anybody had taken the time to talk to him, or let
him come outside into the fresh air. Judging by the pallor of Jim’s skin, the
latter seemed particularly unlikely.
But if Jim wasn’t very talkative, he seemed content enough to listen to Blair’s
quiet comments and rambling stories. Blair kept his voice to a low, soothing
pitch. It had become obvious that Jim’s hearing was quite erratic. A sound too
quiet for him to hear one minute, would cause him to flinch the next.
No wonder that the orderlies had dismissed him as too violent to manage without
restraints. It would take time and a lot of observation to be able to
effectively deal with Jim’s problems. It was time that Blair was more than
prepared to spend, if Dr Al-Bakir would allow him to, but he’d already formed
the strong impression that the doctor had no intention of allowing him to
continue past the three days of their agreement.
***
By mid-evening, Blair was exhausted, but feeling pleased with Jim’s progress,
as small as it was. He managed to cajole real food out of the orderly who came
with Jim’s nightly ration of the tasteless mush, and Jim seemed to enjoy the
meal almost as much as he had the fruit, with pretty much the same resultant
mess. This time Blair simply stripped him off completely and then himself
before taking Jim into the tiny bathroom and sharing the shower with him.
Touch was so obviously Jim’s major remaining sense. It never seemed to cause
him much trouble, although Blair guessed that it was barely above normal
sensitivity. He leaned eagerly into Blair’s hands as Blair soaped and rinsed
his body, reaching in turn to touch Blair. It seemed the more intimate the
touch, the more he liked it and as a result, Blair was becoming almost
painfully aroused.
In the last two days, he’d barely had a moment to himself, and certainly no
time to masturbate two or three times a day, as he normally would. It was
incredibly tempting to move just a little closer to Jim, to allow his erection
to brush against Jim’s thigh. Sooner or later, they would become lovers. As a
bonded sentinel-guide pair it was inevitable, and Blair had no objection to it
being sooner rather than later. He wasn’t entirely inexperienced; he knew what
would happen, and it held no fears for him at all.
Still, he wasn’t sure that right here, right now was the best time for it, so
Blair gently disentangled himself from Jim, finished rinsing the suds off both
of them and wrapped Jim in a large, soft towel. Slinging another towel around
his hips, Blair made short work of patting his sentinel dry and leading him
back into the main part of his quarters. He settled Jim into the bed and
towelled himself off equally quickly.
Jim turned to him eagerly as Blair slipped between the covers. His skin felt
warm and soft against Blair’s as he settled into Blair’s arms, but there was
little flesh on that long, rangy body. Blair held him close, and tried to
ignore the arousal coursing through his veins as once again Jim’s hands began
to wander. Every time one of them moved too low, Blair would interrupt his own
more decorous stroking of Jim’s back and shoulders to capture it and draw it
back up to his chest.
Jim sighed, sending a warm puff of breath against his nipple, and Blair
shivered. How long could Jim keep this up? The answer, it seemed, was
indefinitely. He was showing no sign of falling asleep, or of losing interest
in exploring his guide. He nuzzled Blair’s chest lazily, making quiet,
contented sounds and Blair didn’t have the heart to put a stop to it. Jim had
existed in a sensual desert for ten long years. This must seem like heaven to a
sense-deprived sentinel.
It was beginning to seem like hell to him. Eventually, when Jim’s hand once
again strayed over his belly, Blair allowed him to continue. His heart was
pounding, his cock felt like it was going to explode. He’d never been so
intensely aroused in his life. Jim’s first casual touch on his cock startled a
whimper out of him and his cock twitched painfully. Curious fingers mapped the
contours and Blair endured it with gritted teeth, trying to hold on, trying not
to thrust against a touch that was merely inquisitive, not sexual. It was an
impossible task. As Jim’s fingers drifted up the length of his shaft and over
his cockhead, the orgasm exploded out of him and Blair sobbed in mingled
anguish and relief.
The rush was so powerful Blair almost blacked out. He floated in a sensual daze
for a while, and came back to earth with a bang at the realisation that Jim was
coating his fingers with cum and then licking them clean again. It felt wrong,
somehow, even though it was inevitable that a sentinel would enjoy the most
intimate tastes of his guide’s body. Perhaps it was because Jim was still so
obviously unaroused, that it seemed wrong.
“Jim?” He whispered the name into Jim’s hair, “Jim, would you like me to touch
you?”
A barely audible “Blair” seemed to convey agreement, and Blair began slowly to
extend his own caresses, down over Jim’s back to his hip and thigh; then up
again to the still soft genitals. A contented hum indicated that Jim was happy
with his touch, but there was no change in the lax cock. Blair continued gently
stroking until Jim sighed and snuggled his face into the base of Blair’s
throat. Moments later the slow, steady breathing told Blair that Jim had fallen
asleep.
He settled the covers around them more comfortably and closed his eyes, but it
was a long time before he slept. 
***
Blair watched anxiously as Dr Al-Bakir examined Jim. The sentinel was balky,
inclined to object to any unexpected touch, much to Blair’s growing dismay. Jim
had improved so much in the three days they’d had together, but there was no
sign of that now. Finally, Jim shoved the doctor away roughly with a growled
protest and Blair moved to intervene.
“I’m sorry. He’s still kinda leery with other people. He’s much better with
me.” Blair laid a hand on Jim’s bare shoulder and the sentinel leaned into his
side. The complete trust Jim showed him was humbling. “It’s only been three
days. You can’t expect much improvement with those drugs screwing with his
senses.”
“I agree, there’s improvement.” Al-Bakir sighed deeply. “But, Blair, Jimmy is
far from being able to function normally, and I’m just not willing to risk that
he won’t respond aggressively to the staff and students here.”
“Then let us stay in one of the guest houses.” It was so hard to keep his voice
even, but if Jim picked up on the tension he was trying so hard to suppress,
anything could happen. “He’s fine with me, and if I could just wean him off the
drugs…”
“No. Absolutely not.” The sharp response drew another growl from Jim and Al-
Bakir frowned. “Blair, there’s no monitoring equipment in the guest houses, and
for your own safety, we can’t allow you to be completely unsupervised.
Besides…” a troubled glance at Jim warned Blair that he wasn’t going to like
what came next. “I don’t… the medical committee doesn’t feel that the
likelihood of any minor improvement would justify the time and effort it would
take. As I told you, there are a lot of things you could do here that would be
of real value, and…”
“And none of you care what happens to Jim. You’re all willing to let him rot.”
Blair interrupted bitterly; then had to soothe Jim with a quick caress down his
back. He glared at the doctor.
“I’m sorry you feel that way, Blair.” He actually looked hurt. “I’ve known
Jimmy since he was eight years old. Putting him on this medication was one of
the most difficult decisions I’ve ever made, but he was becoming increasingly
dangerous to himself and to others. You haven’t seen what he’s capable of. I
have to think of everyone’s safety, including yours, and his.”
Tears blurred his vision as Blair realised that this was the end. Al-Bakir
simply wasn’t going to listen and arguing would only upset Jim and make
everything worse. He took a moment to get his voice under control before trying
to speak. “All right. I’ll do what you want, but only if I get to stay with Jim
at night, and work with him every day. I’ll help the other sentinels and
guides, but I won’t pair off with another sentinel. Jim’s my sentinel.”
The doctor nodded reluctantly. “I’ll make the arrangements. You’ll have your
own room and Jimmy can be brought there in the evening. During the day he’ll be
in his current quarters.”
It was the best he could hope for, but it brought no sense of victory. Ignoring
Dr Al-Bakir, Blair helped Jim put on his loose cotton top and led him from the
examining room.
***
At two o’clock, Blair slipped out of Jim’s narrow bed and dressed silently. Al-
Bakir’s decision, while a painful blow, hadn’t been entirely unexpected. From
that first day, Blair had been making plans, and hoping desperately he wouldn’t
need to use them. From the small backpack he’d brought with him, he took the
clothing he’d managed to acquire – clothing that would be a reasonable fit for
Jim and replace the all too obviously institutional pants and top he habitually
wore.
Jim, though sleepy, was hard-wired to follow his guide’s instructions, and was
no trouble to dress. Blair let him wear the slippers that he was used to,
knowing that shoes would probably cause him discomfort and slow him down. When
he was ready, Blair led him out into the hallway.
This time of night the hallways were deserted and the lights dimmed. Unless
they were extremely unlucky, they would be able to get to their goal without
being seen. After that… well, there was only so much Blair could scout out in
advance without arousing suspicion. He’d just have to hope for the best. The
gamble was enormous, and terrifying, but there wasn’t much of a choice any
more.
“Jim, tell me if you hear anyone coming, okay?” Blair had discovered that
although Jim spoke rarely and only used a few dozen words, he seemed to
understand most of what Blair said to him. Now, he grunted in reply. A sound
Blair had come to recognise as assent. “Good. We’re going to go for a ride.
You’ll like that, buddy. We’ll go somewhere we can always be together.”
“Outside?” Jim stopped, his face crumpling. In spite of the fact that Blair had
been taking him out to sit in the sun, Jim always became anxious at the
prospect, though he seemed to enjoy the experience.
“I’m not gonna leave you, Jim. Not ever.” Blair tugged at his arm gently and
the sentinel came along with him. “We’re both gonna go stay with my friends.
You’re coming too. You’re my sentinel, remember?”
“Guide. My guide.” Contentment warmed Jim’s voice. “Together.”
“Together. That’s right.” They’d reached the end of the hallway. The storage
area was to the right, and beyond that the maintenance area, where the small
hovercars that were used for travel to Cascade or other nearby towns were
repaired. There was one there now, Blair knew, which was waiting for its six
monthly check to be completed. He’d heard the techs complaining about being too
busy to carry out some minor repairs that were required before it could be
certified. “We have to be quiet now.”
Guiding Jim toward the warehouse doors was easy enough. If his verbal abilities
hadn’t improved much in the last few days, his motor skills certainly had.
Blair suspected that, given a little encouragement to move about, Jim had
instinctively started to use his other senses to compensate for the lack of
sight. His hearing had become more reliable, and his sense of smell was
improved, if still not at sentinel level.
He released Jim long enough to key in the code to open the door to the storage
area. The security in this place was a joke; he’d watched one of the orderlies
open the door and memorised the numbers. She hadn’t even tried to prevent him
seeing them. Not that he was complaining…
The storage room was enormous, with high metal shelving, and the echoes of
their footsteps were obviously confusing and alarming Jim. Blair stopped for a
moment and wrapped his arms around Jim. Under his cheek, Jim’s heartbeat was
hard and much too fast. “It’s okay. Just trust me, Jim. I’ll always look after
you.”
“Blair.” Jim rubbed his face against the top of Blair’s head and inhaled
deeply. It seemed to comfort him, and Blair released him.
“We’re nearly there.” He took Jim’s arm again.
The door leading through to the maintenance area wasn’t even locked. Heaving a
tiny sigh of relief, Blair slipped through, and then Jim. This had been one of
the things he hadn’t been able to find out in advance. He’d only hoped that the
same code opened all the doors in this area. Now all they had to do was find
the hovercar among all the machinery that was awaiting repair.
But a few metres inside the room, Jim stopped, his head lifting, listening.
“Blair.”
“Someone’s coming?” Jim grunted an affirmative. Shit! “Over here. Don’t make a
sound.” He backed them both into a narrow alley between two large machines.
Surely the shadows here would be enough to hide them.
It should have been enough, but it wasn’t. Blair saw the light from the
security guard’s torch moving across the exit from their hiding place, then it
stopped. A muffled curse seemed loud in the otherwise silent room, as the guard
crouched to look at something on the floor. Blair couldn’t see what it was.
Then the guard straightened and moved towards them.
There was nowhere to run; they were only a few metres from a wall, and the
guard was blocking their only escape route. He was reaching for his
communicator. Blair stepped out of the shadows into the edge of the light.
“Hey.” He felt Jim behind him, shuffling nervously. “Didn’t expect to see
anyone here. We just wanted a little privacy, you know?”
“Sorry, kid, you picked the wrong night.” The guard sounded more amused than
alarmed. “I’m gonna have to report you.”
“No!” Blair spoke too sharply and Jim growled. The guard’s eyes narrowed. Blair
mustered his most charming smile. “Aw, come on, man. Give us a break here.”
The guard shook his head. “Regulations. Sorry.” His hand resumed its course
toward the communicator.
“Jim, he’s gonna take you away from me.” Blair muttered the words quickly, his
heart pounding. He’d been told Jim could be violent. It looked like now was the
time to find out just how violent he could be.
“No.” The low growl startled both Blair and the guard, and then Blair was
brushed aside as Jim lunged for the older, heavier man.
The guard never stood a chance. Blair flinched at the sound of thwack after
meaty thwack as Jim attacked. It was only a moment before Blair gathered the
presence of mind to pull Jim away, but he caught a glimpse of the guard’s
bloodied face as the other man crumpled to the floor. Close to panic, and
sickened to the depths of his soul by what he’d unleashed, he pulled at Jim’s
arm again. “We have to get out of here.”
He picked up the torch from the floor and the taser out of the guard’s belt.
They might come in useful if anyone else found them. Blair didn’t think he
could sic Jim onto another man after seeing what he’d just done. It had been
quick and brutal, and now Jim was standing placidly beside him, waiting to be
told what to do next. Blair shivered.
At least the light helped them find the hovercar. Even better, there was a
dirty coverall hanging on a hook nearby. Blair pulled it on hastily. It would
help get them past the security guard at the main gate. “Jim, I want you to lie
down on the floor in the back, okay? I’ll put a blanket over you, and you can’t
move or make a sound.”
Jim grunted again, and allowed Blair to get him into position. Blair kissed his
forehead before he covered him. “It won’t be long, I promise.”
The controls of the hovercar were similar to others he’d driven, and Blair
easily started it up and turned it towards the outside door. It opened
automatically, since nobody expected a thief to break out of the area. Blair’s
heart was pounding, his hands sweaty. Soon, soon they’d be away from this place
and nobody else, please, was going to get hurt.
He drove carefully towards the gate and slowed to a stop by the guard booth. It
was almost three o’clock and the guard was both sleepy and bored. He readily
accepted Blair’s tale of a late flight into Cascade and a breakdown in the
middle of nowhere that had resulted in him being called out to either fix the
problem or ferry the unlucky staff member back to the Institute. It was the
last obstacle, and Blair had to resist the urge to use maximum acceleration as
he drove past the opened gate.
***
Dawn was nearly breaking when they stopped at the edge of a forested area. Jim
had been sleeping, but Blair was exhausted, and there was still a long way to
go. But Naomi was waiting for them with another hovercar, and that was enough
to lift Blair’s spirits. He’d passed a message to one of her many friends, but
there had always been the possibility that they wouldn’t have been able to
contact her.
“Sweetie, you look terrible.” She opened her arms, but Blair hesitated, unsure
of how Jim would react. After a moment she let her arms drop. “And this is
Jim.”
“Yeah. He’s not… he’s not real good right now.” Blair chose his words
carefully, afraid suddenly, of unleashing the violence that Jim had exhibited
earlier. “Mom, we need to go somewhere safe.”
“Of course you do.” She was watching Jim, her eyes assessing him critically.
She smiled at Blair, but the worried expression didn’t leave her face. “I’ve
made the arrangements. The course is entered into the autopilot. Just get out
when it stops, but don’t switch off. The car’s programmed to continue its
journey after you get out. Someone will meet you at the drop-off co-ordinates.”
“You did all that?” Blair smiled, impressed that his sometimes capricious
mother could be so well organised.
Naomi laughed softly. “Of course not, sweetie. I have a friend who understands
these things.”
Of course. Naomi always had a friend. Blair moved forward and hugged his mother
at last. Who knew when they would meet again? He sniffed and blinked back
tears. “Thanks, Mom. It could be a while before…”
“Blair, I understand.” She cupped his cheek. “I think I’ll probably go out of
the country for a while. Maybe Nepal. Jonathon will know how to contact me. I
promise I’ll keep in touch with him. If you need anything, just call him.”
“Okay.” Jonathon was the closest thing to a father he’d known, the one man
Naomi had returned to over and over again, never losing contact with him as she
had with most of her other lovers. “We’d better go. I don’t know how long it’ll
be before they find out…”
“Go on.” Naomi hugged him again. “I’ll take your car a little further and then
dump it. I have a friend waiting to pick me up.”
“Bye, Mom. I love you.” He kissed her soft cheek.
“I love you too, baby.” She walked past him to Jim and stopped. “Jim, you’ll
take care of him, won’t you?”
To Blair’s astonishment, Jim lifted a hand to touch her cheek, fumbling a
little. “Mommy. Blair’s mommy.”
“Yes.” Naomi’s voice was tearful. “So you remember?”
“Outside. Blair.” There was pain in Jim’s voice. “Blair gone.”
“Not this time, Jim.” Blair moved to stand beside them, torn between fear for
his mother, if Jim should decide she was a danger to them, and the instinctive
need to protect and comfort his sentinel. “This time you come with me, okay?”
Jim nodded, but there were tears on his cheeks. Naomi leaned up on tiptoe to
kiss him gently. “You let him go, because you loved him, but now he’s come back
to you. Thank you for giving me those years with my son.”
“Mom…” Blair hugged them both, awkwardly because of the differences in their
heights, but needing to hold the two people he loved most in the world. It
could be the only time he had this chance.
When Naomi slipped away, he retained his hold on Jim, burying his face against
Jim’s chest until the whine of the hovercar faded into the distance.   
***
“You’ll be safe here, Blair, Jim.” Thomas Whitehorn led them down a couple of
steps to the entrance of the small cabin. It was partially sunk into the
ground, with a turf roof and tiny windows. “The roof’s been insulated to cut
down heat signals and it’s completely self-contained. It was set up about
seventy years back, when conscientious objectors were coming through here on
the way to Canada.” The old man grinned, his teeth gleaming in the dim light
under the trees. “Of course that wouldn’t do a lot of good any more.”
It had been a stroke of genius for Naomi to arrange this. They’d stayed at this
reservation a whole summer when he’d been ten, and he’d loved the old man, the
father of Naomi’s lover at the time. Like most Native American reservations
these days in the Confederation of North American States, it was virtually an
autonomous state and it would be difficult for the Institute to have them
arrested on reservation land. All the same, he was glad that this cabin
existed.
“It’ll be great.” Beside him, Jim was quiet, tired no doubt. Blair was beyond
tired now, running on adrenaline and sheer necessity. “We really need to rest
right now, but I’m gonna need to talk to your healers about Jim. Did Naomi tell
you?”
Thomas nodded. “I’ll get Mary and Nathaniel to come see you tomorrow morning.”
He pushed the door open and stood back. “There’s food and water in there.
Everything you’ll need for a day or two, and we can bring more later.”
Blair looked around the tiny room, there was a decent sized bed, a tiny shower
and toilet in a small alcove and a sink and counter for preparing food. It was
extremely utilitarian, but homely too, with woven hangings and blankets, and a
braided rug on the floor.
He steered Jim towards the bed, longing to drop into it himself and lose
himself in oblivion. But first he mustered what energy he could and smiled up
at the old man, still standing just inside the doorway. “Thanks, chope.”
A delighted smile crossed Thomas’ face. “You haven’t forgotten.”
Grandfather. It was one of the few Chinook words Blair still remembered from
those days. “Mostly, I have. But I remember that.”
A hand patted the top of his head gently, and Blair blinked. He hadn’t seen
Thomas cross the floor – must have blanked out for a moment. “You need to
sleep, child. You and your sentinel.”
“Eyeh.” He raised a tired smile and didn’t protest when gentle hands pushed him
down beside Jim, lifted his feet onto the bed and dropped a light blanket over
them both. He didn’t even hear the door shut.
***
They slept the night through, though it had only been late afternoon when
they’d arrived, and woke with the sound of birds greeting the new day outside
the cabin. Blair staggered out of bed and used the facilities with a grateful
sigh, then helped Jim to do the same. He sniffed. A shower was definitely in
order, but he was too hungry to wait for breakfast.
The basket of food on the counter proved to be full of tasty delights – fruit
preserves and eggs and a dense wholegrain loaf that brought back memories from
that long ago summer. There were strips of beef jerky, too, and small jars of
honey and coffee, and in a small chiller, milk and yoghurt, orange juice and
drinking water. With the freeze dried packs of vegetable and meat casseroles,
there was more than enough to last them several days.
Orange juice and thick slices of bread smeared with preserves took care of
their immediate hunger, and then it was time for a shower. Jim had already
become accustomed to their morning routine and even the disruption of yesterday
didn’t seem to have caused any problems for him. As he soaped Jim down, Blair
found himself staring at the medicinal patch on Jim’s chest.
There were no more, and soon the patch would lose its effectiveness. Until
yesterday, Blair had been sure that he could help Jim through what was likely
to be a difficult withdrawal from the drugs. But until yesterday he’d had no
experience of just how violent Jim could be. He could still hear the sickening
sounds as Jim beat the security guard into unconsciousness with just a few
blows. He was responsible for a man being, at best, seriously injured, possibly
killed. He wasn’t the same person he’d been two days ago.
Taking a deep breath, Blair peeled the patch off Jim’s wet skin. Whatever was
going to happen, there was no going back now. Because of him, Jim would face
permanent incarceration in a psych ward if they were captured – unless he could
prove that Jim was recovered, a fully functional sentinel.
He knew Jim would never willingly hurt him. The danger lay in Jim becoming so
disoriented, or losing enough control of his senses, that he could no longer
recognise Blair. Although that seemed unlikely, it wouldn’t hurt to spend as
much time as possible imprinting himself on Jim’s senses. So Blair prolonged
the shower until the water began to cool, pressing close to Jim, sliding his
hands over the water-slick skin and murmuring encouragement under his breath.
Jim leaned into his touch, eager, as always, for any contact with his guide,
making contented sounds and touching Blair in return.
After patting Jim dry, Blair encouraged him to lie on the bed and began to
smooth the creamy lotion that he’d brought from the Institute into Jim’s skin.
It was something that Jim obviously loved, and his once dry skin was already
greatly improved by the twice-daily massage. Blair thought he could even detect
a small improvement in the muscle tone of Jim’s arms and legs. The only thing
that disturbed him was the continued lack of physical response – not even
direct stimulation of Jim’s cock was enough to produce more than a slight
swelling of the shaft.
Of course, the opposite applied to him. Just touching Jim so intimately was
enough to get him hard, and Blair had had to accept this, despite his
reservations. He couldn’t prevent it from happening, and he couldn’t hide it
from Jim. So, after the massage was finished, he lay down beside Jim and
allowed his sentinel to explore his body with every sense Jim could still use.
By the time Jim reached his cock, Blair was ready to explode. He moaned
helplessly and let the waves of pleasure crash over him, then pulled Jim into
his arms.
They spent most of the day like that, with Jim curled around him, listening to
Blair telling stories of the summer he spent on the reservation. Occasionally
they left the bed to eat, or use the toilet, and once they went outside still
naked, just to feel the cool, fresh air on their skins. Jim was in heaven.
Blair would have been too, if it hadn’t been for the tickling sensation of fear
in the pit of his belly.
As evening fell, Blair coaxed Jim into the spare set of clothes, which was all
they had clean. Soon Thomas would arrive, with the two healers. Blair could
only hope, against all hope, that there was something they could do to help Jim
as the drugs wore off and he had to deal with his unruly senses.
Mary, he remembered from his summer on the reservation, but Nathaniel was a
stranger, and a lot younger than he’d expected. Even more surprising, he was
carrying a medical kit that proved to be very modern. The young man caught
Blair’s expression and grinned.
“I trained at medical school, but that doesn’t mean I don’t respect the old
traditions.” He nodded towards the elderly woman at his side. “Mary’s taught me
far more than I ever learned at college.”
Mary chuckled and patted Blair’s cheek. “The boy teaches me too, but I don’t
let him know that.”
“Do you think you can help Jim?” Blair watched anxiously as Mary went over to
where Jim was sitting on the edge of the bed. The sentinel didn’t flinch when
Mary touched his shoulder gently, leaning over him as she murmured reassuringly
in her own language.
Her examination methods were as strange as he remembered. She sniffed at Jim’s
neck and mouth, gently pinched his skin and rubbed a strand of hair between her
fingers. Surprisingly, Jim smiled at her as she drew back, and lifted his hand
to touch her cheek. The old woman smiled and squeezed his hand for a moment
before moving away.
She nodded to Nathaniel and he lifted his scanner, placing it against Jim’s
chest, frowning a little at the display. Then he took a small laser out of his
kit. “Jim, I’m going to shine a light into your eyes. Don’t be alarmed if you
see something.”
Taking Jim’s grunt as assent, he shone the light into Jim’s eyes, flicking it
away and back several times. Then, after warning Jim again, he took a small
blood sample and tucked it away in the kit. At each step he quietly advised Jim
what he was doing, and once again, Jim accepted his attentions with little sign
of concern.
When the examination was over, he nodded at Blair and moved away from Jim a
little. He and Mary talked quietly in their own language, too quietly and too
fast for him to pick out even the occasional word. Thomas patted his shoulder
reassuringly and then sat on the edge of the bed beside Jim. He took Jim’s hand
between his own wrinkled ones, stoking it gently.
“Blair.” Nathaniel beckoned Blair over. With a glance at Jim, Blair went.
“Don’t look so worried, Blair. He’s really in better condition that I would
have expected.”
“His spirit is strong.” Mary nodded, “but there is a darkness which surrounds
him. His body and spirit must be cleansed. It will not be easy for either of
you, but your spirit will aid the healing in him.”
Blair smiled shakily, more relieved than he could say. “What about his sight?
Will he see again?”
“His pupils respond to light.” Nathaniel shrugged, “so there’s no physical
damage. But there’s no telling what the drugs have done. I’d assume they were
psychotropic in nature, designed to suppress the areas of the brain that
process sensory input. We won’t know what residual damage might remain until
the drug’s out of his system.”
“What can I do?”
“The best thing you can do is to stay with him.” Nathaniel smiled reassuringly
and Mary nodded her agreement. “He’s completely focused on you. He’ll rely on
you to anchor him. There’ll be a range of physical reactions as he goes through
withdrawal – sweating, cramps, nausea, disorientation – just stay close to him,
make sure he’s aware of your presence.”
“I’ll leave you some herbs to ease his pain and soothe his spirit.” Mary patted
his arm. “You will keep him quiet and calm. The rest is up to the ancestors.”
It seemed pitifully inadequate. Blair looked desperately from Nathaniel to Mary
and back. “Isn’t there anything else? Something… stronger?”
“Blair, we don’t know what drugs he’s been given. His system is hopelessly
compromised.” Nathaniel gave him a sympathetic look. “It would be reckless to
put any more drugs into his system. I simply don’t know how he would react to
them.”
“There is great strength in both of you.” Mary nodded and smiled. “Have faith
in him, as his faith is in you. Can you not see it?”
He looked at Jim, sitting quietly on the edge of the bed, listening to them,
though it was doubtful he understood much of what had been said. From the
moment he’d returned to Jim, his sentinel had accepted him totally, in spite of
the years of mistreatment that should have made him wary. Jim had recognised
immediately that they belonged together, now Blair had to believe it as
unquestioningly as Jim did.
“Yes. I belong to him and he belongs to me.” Blair felt a weight slip from his
shoulders. He would do this because he had to, because the alternative was… no
alternative at all. He kissed Mary’s wrinkled cheek. “Thank you.”
She nodded once, in satisfaction. “We will be close. If you need us, just
call.  But it would be better if you can tend to Jim yourself. It is not good
to come between a sentinel and his guide.”
***
After they left, Blair made Jim a mug of tea, using the herbs Mary had told him
would help Jim to sleep. He drank a small amount himself, thinking that it
would help soothe his nerves, hopefully without making him sleep too deeply.
Then he led Jim to the shower, and after a quick wash they lay down. Jim
immediately curled up against his side and they were both asleep within
minutes.
Twice during the night, Jim’s restless movements woke him. The first time it
was relatively easy to calm him by rubbing his back and talking quietly to him.
Soon Jim’s head was resting heavily on his shoulder, and his arm around Blair’s
waist.
Next time, it wasn’t so easy. When soft-spoken words and gentle stroking
couldn’t ease Jim’s distress, Blair levered himself out of bed and brewed
another mug of the tea. He had to coax Jim into drinking the slightly bitter
brew, but after a while it took effect and Blair crawled back into bed. It was
a lot longer, that time, before he slept again.
Morning only brought confirmation that Jim was already in withdrawal from the
drugs. One minute he would be hot and panting, the next shivering miserably
while soaked in sweat. Blair could still reach him, but with more of an effort,
and several times he had to physically restrain Jim from tearing at his skin.
All Jim’s senses, except for sight, were spiking randomly before dropping to
almost nothing. Worse, he knew very well that Jim could easily have overpowered
him. Only the sentinel’s ingrained sense of protectiveness for his guide made
it possible for Blair to control him at all. What might happen if Jim became
too disoriented to respond to him was a frightening thought that haunted all
Blair’s waking moments.
In between bouts of hyper-sensitivity, Blair managed to wash Jim down, or get a
tiny, precious amount of fluid into him. Sometimes the remission lasted long
enough for Blair to lie beside Jim, holding him close and dozing fitfully
whenever he got the chance. Sometimes it seemed that he was losing all ability
to control Jim and more than once he was tempted to activate the tiny beacon
that would bring Nathaniel, Thomas, or Mary to his aid. It was only the memory
of Mary’s words that prevented him from doing it. Jim had already suffered
enough because of their separation. He wouldn’t risk Jim’s hope of recovery by
bringing anyone else between them at such a critical point.
He lost track of time, but surely they must have weathered at least a couple of
days and nights, before Jim’s symptoms began to ease and the exhausted sentinel
dropped into longer periods of uneasy sleep. Blair sighed in relief and
stretched out beside him.
When he woke again, Jim was sleeping much more peacefully. He showered quickly
and wiped Jim down with a damp cloth. When Jim woke, he wouldn’t want to feel
the sticky sweat clinging to his skin. As Jim slept on, Blair made himself
coffee and scrambled some eggs, eating them hastily with one eye on the bed.
But he’d finished his breakfast and cleaned up the cooking utensils, and his
plate and mug, before Jim showed any signs of waking.
“Jim?” He stroked back a damp, greasy strand of hair from Jim’s forehead. “Jim,
it’s Blair. I’m right here.”
Jim’s dark lashes fluttered, a tiny frown appeared between his brows and his
lips parted soundlessly. Blair dipped his finger in a mug of water and wiped a
few drops across the dry lips. Jim’s tongue crept out and gathered the moisture
in. His eyes opened just a fraction. “Blair?”
“Yeah, it’s me.” Blair almost sobbed in relief. He patted Jim’s cheek gently.
“Everything’s gonna be okay, Jim. I’ve got some water here. You want a drink?”
“Please.” It was little more than a hoarse whisper. Jim frowned again, his eyes
opening, and Blair knew immediately that he was still blind. The unfocused
stare swept right past him without pausing. “It’s dark.”
Oh, Jim… he fought back the almost crushing sense of disappointment and pity.
“It’s all right, Jim. I’m here.” He slid an arm under Jim’s shoulder for
support and held the mug to Jim’s lips. “Drink slowly, okay?”
A few sips were all that Jim took before sinking down again. “Blair? Are you
really here? It’s not a dream?”
“No. It’s not a dream, I promise.” He kissed Jim’s parted lips, immeasurably
relieved, at least, by the already obvious improvement in Jim’s speech. He
hadn’t been capable of speaking in whole sentences before. “You’ve been sick,
but you’re better now, and we’re together.”
“Okay.” Jim’s easy confidence in him was evident as his eyes closed and he
relaxed again into sleep.
***
When they woke again, Blair thought it must be early morning, judging by the
noise the birds were making in the distance. He turned immediately to Jim and
found that his sentinel was already awake.
“Hey.” Without thinking, he kissed Jim’s lips, and then drew back at Jim’s
obvious surprise. “Sorry. I guess I shouldn’t have done that.”
“You don’t sound like a little kid.” Jim’s brows drew together again.
Oh. Of course, Jim would remember him only as a three-year-old. “I’m not.
You’ve been… kinda out of it for a while.”
While Blair was wondering how to break it to Jim that he’d been a virtual
zombie for the last ten years, Jim reached out to touch his cheek. He didn’t
have to shave much, as yet, but there was no mistaking the stubble on his jaw.
“How old are you?” Jim’s voice was hushed, as though he was afraid of the
answer. “How old am I?”
“It’s been a long time, Jim.” Blair stroked his hand up and down Jim’s arm.
“I’m sixteen.”
“Then I’m…” Jim hesitated, but not, Blair thought, because the math was beyond
him. “Why is it so dark? I should be able to see.”
“It’s complicated.” Responding to the growing distress of his sentinel, Blair
moved closer, sliding one arm around Jim, trying to radiate calm and
reassurance. Inside he was almost sick with apprehension at what he was going
to have to tell Jim. “You were given drugs, and they’ve screwed up your senses.
But they’ll come back. I’m sure they will.”
Jim gasped suddenly, and before he knew what was happening, Jim was in his arms
shaking and sobbing. He hung on as best he could, murmuring reassurances until
Jim lay limp with exhaustion against his side. He fell into a light doze soon
after that, much to Blair’s relief.
By the time Jim woke again, Blair had got dressed and prepared a light meal for
them both, along with more of Mary’s tea. He figured Jim was going to need all
the calming influence Blair could offer.
It was obvious that Jim’s motor control was as much improved as his speech. He
managed the bread and honey, and the mug of warm tea, with a great deal more
confidence and a lot less mess that he’d ever achieved at the Institute.
Afterwards, Blair encouraged him to lean back against a pile of cushions and
relax for a while.
Then it was time to face their demons. “Okay, Jim. Do you remember the classes
back at the Institute, when you learned how to visualise the controls for your
senses?”
“Of course I do.” Jim’s impatience was understandable. These were the most
basic lessons for a sentinel.
“Good. I want you to check your levels, one at a time, as I guide you. Don’t
change anything, just check and tell me where they are.” Blair jammed his
fingernails into his palms, fighting to keep the nervousness out of his voice.
“Start with touch, okay?”
Jim nodded, his face slackening a little as he reached inside himself. Touch
had appeared to be his strongest sense, back at the Institute. He relaxed a
little. “Six.”
“That’s great.” Blair grinned in relief. A little higher than normal, but that
was fine. “How about hearing?”
“Um… three.”
“Okay. Can you bring that up – slowly – to a four. Just hold it there.” Blair
watched a little anxiously as Jim complied, finally releasing his breath when
Jim nodded. “Good. No problems?” Jim shook his head. “You’re doing great.
Where’s smell?”
It took a little longer before Jim announced that it was at two. Blair laughed.
“Yeah, well neither of us is any too fresh right now. Maybe you’d better just
leave it there.”
Jim giggled. Giggled. It was an incongruously childish sound, coming from a
physically mature man. “Okay. What’s next?”
Blair took a deep breath to centre himself. He couldn’t bear to put this off
any longer. “Jim, where’s sight at?”
The wait this time seemed to last an eternity. Jim’s breathing suddenly became
shaky and Blair reached for him. “What is it? Jim, tell me!”
“I can’t… there’s nothing there.” When Blair’s fingers gripped his arm tightly,
Jim flinched.
“It’s set to zero?” That wasn’t good. The young sentinels were trained never to
lower their levels all the way. But Jim must have been advanced enough in his
training by, age thirteen, to be able to recover from that. “Can you bring it
up a little?”
“No.” Jim shook his head, his distress rapidly increasing. “It’s not zero.
There’s no levels at all. There isn’t anything. Blair…”
But Blair was already there, pulling Jim into his arms, fighting his own panic
to reassure his sentinel. This was worse than anything he’d imagined.
***
“I honestly don’t know, Blair.” Nathaniel shook his head resignedly. “If I had
any idea what the drugs were… but then I’d have to know how they interacted,
and probably the only people who could give me the information are the doctors
at the Institute. All I can tell you is what I said before. The problem isn’t
physical in nature, at least as far as Jim’s eyes are concerned. It could be
psychological, it could be trauma to the brain brought on by the drugs.”
“So this is it?” Blair cast a worried glance over at Jim. “He’s always going to
be blind?”
“Not necessarily. The effects of the drugs could last for days, even weeks or
months, if they’ve built up in his system.” Nathaniel shrugged. “And, frankly,
it’s hard to predict anything when a sentinel’s involved. They tend to have
very idiosyncratic drug reactions, and the Institute keeps most of its research
under wraps.”
“Yeah, to keep them under its control.” Blair smiled bitterly. “If they find
us…”
“They won’t.” Nathaniel patted his shoulder reassuringly. “Try not to worry too
much. It won’t help Jim, or you. He’s going to rely on you, emotionally as well
as physically. Help him to get his other senses under control and don’t give up
hope, okay?”
“Okay.” Already, he felt he’d been ignoring Jim for too long. He wanted to get
back to his sentinel. “Thanks, Nathaniel.”
“Call any time.” Nathaniel smiled as he slipped out the open door, closing it
gently behind him.
Blair went over to the bed, where Jim was lying in a bundle of crumpled sheets
and blankets. “You hear that?”
“Yeah.” Jim sounded distinctly tearful and very vulnerable. “I’m sorry, Blair.
You don’t want a sentinel like me.”
“Who says I don’t?” Blair sat down beside him. “We belong together, that’s all
there is to it. Anyway, you’re already way better than you were. You’re gonna
keep on getting better.” He took Jim’s hand between his own. “It’s gonna be all
right.”
A sniff was his only answer. He lay down and immediately Jim snuggled into his
arms. It made him aware, once again, of the vast difference between Jim’s
physical development and his psychological development. He stroked Jim’s hair
silently for a while.
“Hey, Jim?” When Jim didn’t answer, he squeezed a little. “Do you want me to
call you Jimmy? I guess that’s what you’re used to, huh?”
A quiet sigh gusted across his chest, infiltrating the thin T-shirt and warming
his skin. “No. Jim’s fine. I guess I’m not a kid any more.”
“You sure aren’t.” There was more warmth in Blair’s voice than was tactful and
he found himself blushing. Now that the reality of Jim’s situation was sinking
in, he could no more imagine coming on to Jim than he would a real thirteen-
year-old. It didn’t change the way he reacted to Jim’s body and looks, though.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean…”
“Sure you did.” Jim didn’t sound like he was bothered. “For crying out loud,
Blair, all the kids my age were making out with their guides, when I… when I
was normal.”
He doubted that ‘making out’ covered the kinds of things he’d like to be able
to do with Jim. “That’s different. I’d feel like I was taking advantage
somehow.”
Jim laughed softly. “You’re my guide. You wouldn’t do that.” He lifted his head
a little. “You kissed me before.”
“Yeah. I did.” Blair felt suddenly breathless. Jim was a mixture of shy
innocence and pubescent randiness, all packaged together in the body of a grown
man. A man so beautiful he made Blair’s body ache. “Was that okay?”
A mischievous smile brightened Jim’s face. “Sure it was. Can I kiss you now?”
“If… if you want to.” Blair’s mouth was dry. He watched as Jim’s face got
closer, and had to guide him the last few inches so their lips met. It was a
chaste, tentative kiss, but Jim moaned eagerly. “You like that?”
“Yeah.” Jim kissed him again, with more enthusiasm than skill, and Blair drew
back.
“Here. Like this…” Blair barely brushed his lips across Jim’s, then pressed
close, using his tongue to gently part Jim’s lips. He sucked a little on the
lower lip and kissed him again. So good… his body melted, fitting itself
bonelessly against the angles of Jim’s body.
If there was one thing a sentinel ought to be good at, it was learning to kiss,
and Jim was very good. They lay entwined throughout the long afternoon, lazily
kissing until their lips were swollen and aching. Since Jim showed little
inclination to explore further, Blair contented himself with that, ignoring the
ache that was located considerably lower down his body.
Of course, it was impossible to ignore forever. Eventually, Blair was forced to
excuse himself. He hurried outside, still wearing only his T-shirt and boxers,
then ran until he thought he was far enough away from the cabin. His balls were
aching fiercely as he shoved his boxers down and took his cock in an urgent
grip.
He managed to suppress the cry that rose to his lips at that first touch and
began to jerk himself off. It was sheer torture at first, needing to come so
badly, but then the rush started and his hips began to thrust erratically,
driving his cock through fingers slippery with pre-cum. Jim… oh god, Jim… His
body arched, head thrown back, hips pushing forward eagerly, and the knot in
his gut twisted then suddenly loosened. Long spurts of cum exploded from his
cock, scattering across the ground then, as the spasms eased, dribbling over
his fingers. With a low moan, Blair leaned against the nearest tree, gasping
for breath.
***
“Just one more. Come on, Jim, you can do it.” Blair made an effort to inject as
much enthusiasm as he could into his voice, since Jim couldn’t see the approval
in his face. “That’s great, Jim. Four more than yesterday.” He patted a sweaty
thigh as Jim relaxed back from his body curl. “Take a breather, then we’ll walk
a bit while you cool down.”
“That’s easy for you to say.” But Jim grinned, obviously pleased with himself.
After a couple of deep breaths he sat up and Blair grabbed his outstretched
hand to help him to his feet. “Whoah…”
Jim wavered a little on his feet and clutched at Blair, but it was just a game
– and an excuse to manhandle his guide. “Hey, keep your hands off the coach, eh
Jim? C’mon, let’s walk.”
They made a few circuits of the room while Blair took Jim through his sensory
exercises, checking his levels and bringing them back to normal. It wasn’t
difficult for Jim to adjust his levels but whenever he was distracted, which
was often, his senses would go back to the same levels they’d been at when he
first woke. It was as though, having been set at those levels for so long by
the drugs, his body naturally reverted to them unless Jim consciously
maintained them. So far, he hadn’t reached that level of instinctive control.
“Okay, buddy, it’s time for a break. Why don’t you wash up then relax for a
while.” He led Jim to the tiny utility area and left him to clean up. “We can
go for a walk outside later, if you want to.”
“Yeah, I’d like that.” Jim was already peeling out of his clothes without any
trace of self-consciousness, and Blair didn’t know if it was because he enjoyed
showing off in front of his guide, or because, being blind, it didn’t really
occur to him that Blair might be watching.
Either way, Blair found it uncomfortable and made a point of turning away to
boil some water for tea. The little cooker was slow and by the time the water
was boiling Jim had finished his wash and dropped onto the bed. When Blair
turned to ask him what he wanted to drink, his sentinel was already fast
asleep.
Blair stood looking down at his naked body, pleasure at the signs that Jim was
putting on weight and firming his muscles replacing the arousal that was an
almost constant presence these days. It had been just a week ago yesterday that
Jim had woken from his drugged state and already he was noticeably filling out,
though he still had a long way to go, judging by the sturdy framework of bones
that showed at his shoulders and wrists and hips.
With a little sigh, Blair pulled the covers over him and went to sit in the
armchair with his tea. The little datascreen Nathaniel had lent him still
contained a lot of information on sentinels, nutrition, and a host of other
things Blair needed to know.
The most depressing of these was the legal status of sentinels and guides. It
appeared that sentinels automatically became wards of the Institute from the
moment they were diagnosed with sentinel abilities. Sure, they could attain a
legal majority, but there was no age limit to the guardianship; sentinels could
only achieve independent adult status when the Institute decided they were
ready for it. Some never did. Jim was likely to be one of them, given their
current situation.
Worse, it was likely that the Institute had already declared him a rogue, which
meant lethal force was automatically permissible. If the Institute guards found
them, they would almost certainly shoot first and ask questions later.
As a guide, Blair’s position was only slightly better. His legal majority was
more or less assured, provided he survived to the age of twenty-one. However he
could be held accountable for any criminal act committed by a sentinel in his
care. He’d lain awake last night wondering miserably how long that list had
already become. Not that, in the end, it mattered. He’d rather die than let Jim
be put back on those damned drugs.
He sighed despondently and brought up the next file. Halfway down the first
page he shut it down, blushing faintly. The article was a description of what
looked like an ancient bonding ceremony between a sentinel and guide. He’d
never seen it before, and probably, no other person outside Thomas’ tribe ever
had either. Or perhaps it was just because of his age that he’d never been
allowed to see it. It was certainly X-rated material.
The next file was a dry and academic review of various articles about the
resurgence of interest in sentinels in the late Twentieth Century, and Blair
plunged into it with a sense of relief. Much as he would once have enjoyed
reading about the bonding ceremony – for a variety of reasons – now it seemed a
damn sight too personal. Besides, he’d found living in a constant state of
unrelieved semi-arousal to be distinctly unpleasant. Reading that file was
hardly likely to improve the situation.
Half an hour later, aware that he’d retained very little of the information
he’d just read, Blair put the datascreen aside with a sigh and stretched. He
wandered over to the bed and sat on the edge, watching Jim sleep. It would be
so good to stretch out beside Jim and sleep for a while, since he hadn’t slept
well last night. He was seriously thinking of doing just that when Jim stirred
and yawned, then turned his face up to Blair’s with a smile.
For a moment Blair almost believed Jim could see him, but his eyes were aimed
just a little to the right of Blair’s face. Jim stretched and let his hand drop
onto Blair’s jeans clad thigh. “Hey. Did I sleep long?”
“About an hour.” Blair twined his fingers with Jim’s. “Want some tea or
coffee?”
Jim shook his head and patted the bed invitingly with his free hand. His cheeks
pinked a little and his smile became diffident. “You wanna join me?”
There was nothing Blair would like better, but he hesitated. The smile faded
and Jim started to turn away. Blair couldn’t bear to see that withdrawal again,
couldn’t bear to hurt Jim at all. “Hey, it’s okay. I was just thinking we
should go for a walk, but we can do that later.”
He lay down on his side facing Jim and brushed the long fringe of hair out of
his sentinel’s eyes. They were fixed on his, such a pure, clear blue, like
crystal. It seemed impossible – and so wrong – that they couldn’t see him. He
stroked Jim’s cheek pensively, thinking how sad he often looked. Partly, he
thought, it was the downward tilt of his eyes at the outer corner, which gave
him an air of melancholy that only completely dissipated when he smiled. For
the rest… well, there hadn’t been much in Jim’s life to bring him happiness.
“I can feel you looking at me.” Jim’s voice was soft, almost playful.
Blair smiled. “Yeah? Want me to stop?”
Jim shook his head almost shyly, and Blair felt his heart thud, not hard, but
with an awful finality, and then begin to race. He caught his breath, not
wanting to alarm Jim, who was always quick to pick up on his physical
reactions. When he thought he could speak without revealing his sudden
confusion he said quietly “I like to look at you.”
The smile that crossed Jim’s face was sweet and unshadowed, banishing all
traces of sadness. Blair traced the line of his bottom lip with a trembling
finger. He’d never felt such a mixture of tenderness, joy, and desire as he did
right now. This wasn’t a guide thing; it wasn’t friendship, or even sex. This
is love, he thought, as he pressed his lips against Jim’s. I love Jim. I love
him.
The kiss was sweet and slow as they always were. They could do this for hours
and never tire of it. Blair became so lost in the gentle undulation of Jim’s
tongue against his own that he barely noticed when a large, warm hand crept
under his loose T-shirt and began to stroke his back. But when it swept down
his side, so lightly that it raised goosebumps of pleasure on his skin, he came
back to earth with a thud. “Jim…”
“It’s okay. Blair, I want to do this, I really want to.” Jim held on
determinedly with one hand in the small of Blair’s back while his other hand
rested lightly against Blair’s ribs. “We should have already been lovers by
now. You know that.”
Most sentinel-guide pairs were lovers before their fifteenth birthdays, having
been allowed to experiment sexually with their partners even before they
reached puberty. The childish explorations usually developed into full
intercourse in early adolescence, and not even the Institute, which rejected
almost all of the more esoteric legends surrounding the sentinel-guide bond,
had ever denied the fundamental need of sentinel and guide to become lovers.
Sex education, appropriate to their ages, was an important and ongoing part of
their training.
Blair was well aware of this fact, despite having never been educated by the
Institute. It was one of many reasons why the more conservative areas of
society disapproved so vehemently of the Institute. He could understand the
reasoning on both sides, but his concerns, in this case, were for a very
particular reason.
“Jim, I know… but you’re… your body may be twenty-three, but mentally,
emotionally, you’re only thirteen.” Blair rested his head against Jim’s
shoulder for a moment and heaved a frustrated sigh. He wanted so badly to make
love to Jim, even more now that he understood the depth of his own feelings.
But what he didn’t know was how Jim felt about him. “It just doesn’t seem
right.”
“And you’re sixteen. It’s only three years.” Jim shifted restlessly against
him. “Besides, I don’t think my body cares about that. I think it needs…”
Blair looked up. Jim was biting his lip, clearly upset and just as clearly
unable to put his feelings into words. “What is it? Tell me, Jim.”
“They used to say… the older kids…  that if you didn’t have sex with your
guide, you’d go crazy. They said…”
Blair laughed, then stared down at Jim’s utterly serious face. “You really
believe that?”
“I don’t know.” The vacant eyes filled with tears suddenly. “I just feel… I
can’t even get hard, but it hurts… I just need to… to touch you.”
And there was another problem. Over a week after coming off the drugs, Jim was
still showing no sign of being able to respond physically to the kissing and
gentle petting that drove Blair almost crazy with desire.
He considered that for a moment. Blair knew he was probably more sexually
experienced than most guys his age. He suspected he was more easily aroused
than most. But the last two weeks with Jim, he’d been living on a knife’s edge
of sexual tension that he’d never experienced before. Was his body telling him
the same thing as Jim’s?
“I don’t know what to do,” he admitted, finally. “I don’t know what’s right,
Jim.”
“This is right.” Jim’s hands skimmed over his back, drawing his T-shirt up over
his shoulders, his head. “We’re right.”
He let Jim lead the way, easing down against the warm bare chest with a soft
groan of pleasure, and returning kiss for kiss as Jim explored his back and
arms and shoulders with gentle, tentative caresses. Hesitantly, Blair allowed
himself to respond, let his hands wander over wide shoulders and the broad
smooth chest. Jim sighed in pleasure and mirrored his movements. Then one of
those long fingers brushed his nipple and fire raced through Blair’s veins.
“Here… like this…” And he eased Jim’s head down against his chest, guiding him
to the aching peak. Jim nuzzled curiously and brushed his tongue tip over it,
then closed his lips around the hard flesh. “Oh…. yeah… oh, Jim…”
It was like being drenched in warm honey, thick and heavy, weighing down his
limbs with indolent pleasure. He’d never felt such a wondrous sensation in his
life, and could have lain there for hours listening to the noisy, enthusiastic
suckling and feeling that sweet tugging at his nipple. But Jim’s hands were
still moving, wanting more of him, sending tremors through his skin, and fiery
hunger into his veins. When they reached his jeans and fumbled with the
buttons, Blair pushed them gently aside and did the job himself. His hips
lifted instinctively as Jim shoved his jeans and boxers down.
It quickly became obvious that Jim didn’t know how to go about jerking off
another guy. His fingers wrapped around Blair’s cock, but the angle was wrong
and his movements were awkward, more uncomfortable than arousing. It shattered
Blair’s contentment, dragging him back to earth with an almost audible thud.
Jim knew it, too, and groaned Blair’s name in frustration.
“It’s all right. Let me help you…” He laid his hand over Jim’s and guided it
along the shaft, straining into the clasp of their joined hands, but still not
finding the right pressure, the right angle to bring him relief. He shifted
Jim’s hand down, cupped it around his balls, and that Jim knew how to do. His
fingers kneaded gently, firmly, and the heel of his hand pressed against the
base of Blair’s cock sending frissons of pure ecstasy through it with each tiny
movement. Blair clutched his cock, desperate to finish, his hand sliding up and
down the shaft, his thumb flicking over the slick cockhead until he thought
he’d explode with the pressure inside him. Then Jim moved his head, blindly
nuzzling Blair’s chest until he located the other nipple, and sucked it
greedily. It was the trigger Blair needed. His hips lifted, jerking violently,
and his cock pulsed. White light flashed somewhere behind his eyes, and he
surrendered to the overwhelming force of it, barely aware of the semen
spattering across his chest in scorching strands.
Jim was holding him, cradled securely in his arms. It felt wonderful, almost as
good as the sex. Almost. Blair sighed and rubbed his cheek against Jim’s chest,
then wrinkled his nose at the smell of sex. With a mumbled apology, he pulled
out of Jim’s arms and scrubbed off the worst of the sticky semen with his T-
shirt. While he was at it, he removed his jeans and boxers completely before
turning back to Jim.
“That was… it was incredible, Jim.” He kissed Jim’s lips lingeringly, stroked
his cheek.  “Do you want me to try…?”
“Please…” Jim smiled nervously. He captured Blair’s hand and carried it to his
chest. “I want to do it. I want us to be right together.”
“We are right, buddy.” Blair kissed Jim again, and rubbed his hand gently
against Jim’s breastbone. His heart was aching with love for his sentinel –
god, for his lover – and all he wanted was to give Jim the same pleasure he’d
felt. “It just might take a while, is all. It’s okay.”
He looked down at Jim’s body, covered from the hips down by blankets. So
beautiful. He pulled the blankets aside, trying not to be put off by the sight
of Jim’s lax cock. He kissed Jim’s belly, then his cock. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Blair.” Jim sighed and shifted restlessly. “I’m sorry I
can’t…”
“Shh. Don’t say that.” He silenced Jim the best way he could, with his own
lips. “Tell me if you like something. Or if you don’t, okay? I want to know.”
“Okay.”
He set about exploring Jim’s body in minute detail, trying to imagine what it
would be like for a sentinel in full control of his senses to make love. Every
last inch of him was kissed, licked, stroked and teased, and Jim responded with
gasps and moans and the occasional giggle. Blair found a couple of particularly
sensitive spots, and lingered there, but nothing seemed to make any difference
to Jim’s level of arousal.
Perhaps that was wrong… Jim was showing all the signs of arousal except for the
most obvious one. His cock had barely stirred. Blair stroked it lightly with
his fingers, considering his next move. “Can you feel this, Jim?”
“Oh yeah… it feels good.” Jim swallowed and smiled waveringly. “It feels really
good.”
“Okay.” Blair kissed the soft tip, ran his tongue over the rounded surface and
then sucked it firmly. He didn’t need to ask, as Jim let loose an eloquent
groan. Taking a deep breath, Blair lifted the cock to his lips, taking half of
it into his mouth and sucking strongly. With his thumb and forefinger circling
the lower half, he began to stimulate Jim’s cock using every trick he knew.
Long minutes later, his only reward was a slight swelling in the shaft.
Evidently, nothing was going to happen. He released Jim’s cock, trying not to
signal his disappointment, but one look at Jim’s face told him all he needed to
know.
“I’m sorry.” Tears filled the pale blue eyes and spilled out the corners.
“Blair, I…”
“It’s all right.” He lay down beside Jim, and snuggled up close. He kissed away
the tears and drew Jim’s head down onto his chest, wrapping his arms around the
larger frame of his lover. “It’s just going to take a bit of time. Nathaniel
said there’d be… effects… for a while.”
“What if…”
“It’s going to be all right.” Blair spoke firmly, and hoped he was right.
***
“Okay now, Jim. Are you grounded?” Blair tightened his arms around Jim’s torso,
pulling him back a little further into the V of his legs. The dappled sunlight
played across their bodies, enticing him with thoughts of how it would look on
Jim’s bare skin, but he pushed the temptation aside. They were here to work.
Receiving an affirmative, Blair took a deep breath. “Okay, I want you to extend
your hearing a little. What can you hear?”
“Insects. They’re all over the place.” Jim shifted restlessly. “I can hear
birds and…” he cocked his head a little. “There’s a stream. I think it’s quite
close.”
“That’s good. Try setting your level a little bit higher.” Blair carefully kept
any excitement out of his voice. The stream, as he was well aware, was easily a
kilometre or more from where they were now. Jim was doing pretty well, even if
his unconscious control was still far from perfect.
Jim shook his head in frustration. “I don’t hear anything more.” Then he yelped
as a bird suddenly chirped in a nearby tree.
“Bring it down.” Blair rubbed his chest soothingly, pleased when Jim took a
shaky breath and relaxed almost immediately. “That’s great, Jim. You recovered
really well. We’ll just take a breather and then we’ll try something else.”
Jim sighed and let his head fall back to rest on Blair’s shoulder. His hair
brushed Blair’s cheek and once again Blair had to fight the temptation to start
something. The urge to make love with Jim had become a constant nagging ache,
and no matter how often Jim jerked him off or, more recently, sucked him, he
was always left with a hollow sensation afterward. Sometimes he wondered if he
shouldn’t have let things go as far as they had, other times he felt half crazy
with the need to go even further. In the few random moments that he wasn’t
consumed with desire Blair wondered whether this was what love ought to be
like, but it didn’t feel like an emotional reaction. It felt like a physical
craving, like a drug he needed but didn’t have.
It didn’t help that he knew they wouldn’t be able to stay much longer on the
reservation. Now, it was even more essential that Jim learn how to use his
other senses to compensate for his blindness. It was almost unheard of, in this
day and age, for anyone to be blind, and of course the Institute had used that
fact in their descriptions of the rogue sentinel and guide. It still made him
grit his teeth in anger, when Blair thought about the newscasts that Thomas had
described to him. At least he’d found out that the security guard had survived,
though with serious injuries.
“Okay, let’s try smell this time.” Blair forced the dark thoughts from his mind
and brushed a kiss across Jim’s temple. Only one thing mattered now, and that
was ensuring his sentinel’s safety. “See if you can smell the stream. Just
don’t raise your level above seven. Ready?”
“Sure.” Jim smiled faintly and Blair saw his nostrils flare. “I can smell
something better than water. Mary’s bringing us more of that venison stew.
Yum.”
“We’d better get back then.” But Jim made no move to stand, and Blair was
effectively trapped against the young pine he chosen for a backrest.
“There’s no hurry. She hasn’t even reached the trees yet.” Jim stretched lazily
and nuzzled his ear. “We’ve got a good ten minutes before we need to move.”
“How do you know?” Blair asked curiously. He didn’t doubt his sentinel, but
surely Jim couldn’t tell distance from the scent of the stew.
“I can hear the way the long grass swishes around her legs. The grass under the
trees is much shorter.” Jim sounded smug, and well he might. That was
impressive, even for a fully functioning sentinel.
“All the same, we’d better get back.” Blair pushed at Jim’s shoulder
reluctantly, and they both rose. “Think you can follow me back without holding
on to my arm?”
Jim grinned, full of boyish charm and arrogance. For a moment he almost looked
thirteen. “Sure.”
And he did. Blair was elated, even though Jim’s progress could be a variable
thing, sometimes making huge improvements almost overnight, and then slipping
back. Overall, he was still increasing his range and control, but with the
prospect of being on the run again looming closer, nothing was likely to soothe
Blair’s concern in a hurry.
They arrived back at the cabin well before Mary, and Blair started heating
water so he could offer her a mug of tea. As usual, she wanted to check Jim
out, but this time Mary also inspected Blair, much to his surprise. She
harrumphed softly when she was done and accepted the tea and a slice of bread
slathered with butter and preserves. “Blair, Jim, you do not have much time.
When are you two going to complete the bond?”
“What?” Jim’s head turned first toward Mary, then Blair. “What do you mean?”
Blair shrank a little under Mary’s stern gaze. “Nathaniel gave you the file.
Didn’t you read it?” She shook her head. “I told Thomas they should talk to
you, but they felt you would prefer to read it in private.”
He knew which file she was referring to and blushed. “I looked at it. I didn’t
read it all.”
“Hmm. You can’t have read much.” The wrinkled face split into a wicked grin.
“If you had, you’d be blushing much worse.”
“Blair, what’s she talking about?” Jim sounded worried, and Blair went over and
took his hand.
“It’s some old ceremony.” Blair looked appealingly at the old lady. “I didn’t
think it was important.”
“Well, it is.” She spoke firmly. “Sentinel and guide must complete their bond,
or the sentinel will lose his powers, the guide will not be able to direct him.
The pair who refuse the bond will sicken and die. You can feel the need of it
in your bowels and your manhood, no?”
“I… I…” Blair was blushing furiously now, and even Jim, who was completely
brazen, was turning pink. “But we… I mean…”
Jim blurted out what Blair was stumbling to say. “We have sex. At least…” he
tightened his grip on Blair’s hand. “This is my fault.”
“No! Jim, it’s not!” Blair hugged him urgently, looking over his shoulder at
Mary. “Jim can’t… he… we can’t… we’ve tried, but those drugs…”
Mary pursed her lips. “Have you talked to Nathaniel about this?”
Blair shook his head. “No. I thought it would just take some time. That Jim
would… you know… get better.”
“Perhaps he will.” Mary sighed. “You should complete the bond as soon as
possible, my children. There may not be a lot of time before you have to leave
here.”
***
That night when they crawled into bed, Blair found himself wrapped in a
comprehensive embrace. “I think we should do it now.”
Blair resisted the urge to wriggle free. “But you can’t…”
“You can. Maybe that’ll be enough.” Jim spoke firmly, his determination plain.
“Besides, if it helps me with my senses, then maybe it’ll help me get a hard
on.”
“I don’t think it will. That’s a whole different thing.”
“You never know.” The absurdly hopeful tone brought a smile to Blair’s lips. He
kissed his sentinel and Jim tightened his arms a little. “If we have to leave
soon, we’re gonna need every little bit of edge we can get.”
The argument was undeniably true. Blair sighed and relaxed against Jim’s broad
chest. He’d been thinking about little else all afternoon, but with the hunger
pulling at him, he didn’t entirely trust his own decision making ability. There
was only one thing he was certain of – he couldn’t take chances with Jim’s
safety. “We’ll take it slowly, okay? I’ve never done this before, not being on
top, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Okay.” It didn’t take sentinel abilities to feel Jim’s heart rate rocket. His
own wasn’t far behind.
Blair kissed him slowly, teasing apart pliant lips and stroking slowly against
Jim’s mobile tongue. They lay like that for a while, kissing and petting while
Blair’s arousal grew. He began to thrust gently against Jim’s thigh, wanting to
take the edge off before he went any further.
“Blair…” Jim moaned softly, but his hands came down to grip Blair’s hips,
pushing him away a little. “Should I turn over?”
“No. I want to come first, okay? We’ll fuck later.” He brushed his hand over
Jim’s chest and Jim moaned again. The hands that had pushed him away drew him
back again, urging him on as he rubbed his cock urgently against Jim’s thigh.
Their hands collided as each tried to touch the other, and they ended up with
both clasped around Blair’s cock. He didn’t even try to hold back, surrendering
with a ragged cry as his cock pulsed out the slippery semen.
He lay against Jim’s chest, panting, but with a tingling in his belly that told
him it wouldn’t belong before he’d be ready to go again. Just the thought of
burying himself inside Jim’s beautiful, willing body was driving him crazy with
desire, regardless of his ability to do anything about it.
“We’ll need some oil.” Jim kissed him and slipped out of the bed. Blair watched
in dreamy satisfaction as Jim crossed the room to the utility area and wiped
Blair’s cum off his belly and thighs. He returned with a small bottle and
placed it on the nightstand beside the bed.
“Here. Give it to me and lie down.” Blair opened the bottle and poured a little
of the oil over his fingers. When Jim was settled face down on the bed he
slipped his fingers into the cleft of Jim’s ass and began to stroke the soft,
puckered asshole. Jim gasped and wriggled against his hand. “I’m gonna take it
real slow, okay?”
“Yeah.” Jim answered him in a breathless whisper. “Feels good.”
“I know.” He kissed Jim’s back between his shoulder blades. “Just relax and
enjoy. Take slow deep breaths.”
He could hear Jim comply and the long body shivered as he pressed a little more
firmly, circling the opening, teasing with his fingertips. He leaned against
Jim, one leg slung across Jim’s to get him used to the feel of a body on top of
him, and continued to kiss and lick and nibble every single vertebra. The
tremors increased, becoming a steady thrumming as Jim responded to his touch.
When Jim began to push against his fingers Blair allowed the movement to carry
one cautious fingertip inside his body. The sentinel froze and shuddered,
moaning with obvious pleasure. “More. Blair, please… more.”
“Shh. We don’t want to go too fast, okay?” He kissed Jim’s shoulder and shifted
so more of his weight was on his lover’s body. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
He let his finger slide a little deeper, carefully probing, stroking the smooth
walls of Jim’s ass. Jim’s hips surged backwards and suddenly Blair’s finger was
buried to the hilt. “It’s so good, Blair.”
“It’s gonna get better. Just take a deep breath and as you let it out I want
you to go limp, okay?” He waited until Jim had obeyed and withdrew his finger
almost completely before adding a second. It felt tight, and the ring of muscle
clenched around the two fingers in a brief spasm. “Do it again, Jim.”
Another deep breath and long exhale relaxed Jim’s body still further. Blair
began to slide his fingers in and out, slow and easy. He licked away the sweat
dewing Jim’s back and began to rub himself against Jim’s buttock. His cock was
just beginning to harden again and pleasure shimmered though his veins.
It seemed like Jim was getting the hang of relaxing his sphincter muscle, and
Blair took advantage of it, adding a third finger without too much difficulty.
Jim, lying with his head buried between his arms, was moaning helplessly and
pushing back against Blair’s fingers at every stroke.
“Won’t be long, babe.” Blair nudged Jim’s thighs a little further apart with
his knee. Withdrawing his fingers, he nudged his cock between Jim’s ass cheeks,
rubbing slowly, adding pre-cum to the oil that was already there and coating
his cock at the same time. He’d need more, though, and he reached for the
bottle and dribbled the oil over his cock without stopping his movements. The
slick glide felt incredible enough and Jim’s enthusiastic moans doubled in
volume; he couldn’t wait to be inside that fantastic body.
“Take another deep breath, Jim. Hold it in.” He had to force himself to speak
commandingly, using his ‘guide voice’, but he had to be sure that Jim would
still respond to it, even in the depths of arousal. Jim did as he was told, his
body vibrating with the effort to obey. “Good, now let it out and relax.”
As Jim followed his instructions, Blair pressed forward, allowing the movement
of Jim’s body against his own to carry his cock inside. Before he knew it, he
was more than halfway in. They both groaned with mingled relief and pleasure.
“Oh, Jim… you feel so damn good. So good…”
He flexed his hips cautiously and slid a little deeper. “Is this okay? Am I
hurting you?”
Jim’s head shook from side to side, still buried between his arms. “It’s okay.
A bit stretched, that’s all.” He was trembling helplessly.
“Tell me if I hurt you. If you want me to stop.” He kissed the back of Jim’s
neck. “I love you, Jim. I love you so much.”
“Love you too…” Jim stirred restlessly. “Please, Blair…”
“It’s all right.” Blair nuzzled Jim’s neck and began to thrust slowly, though
it was becoming difficult to maintain control. Each thrust took him a little
deeper, until he was fully inside Jim’s body. He took another breather then,
until Jim’s almost inaudible pleas forced him to move again.
Jim’s legs parted still further and Blair slipped down a little, changing the
angle of their bodies. On the next thrust Jim cried out and Blair froze, until
he realised that he’d brushed against Jim’s prostate. So that was how it felt,
from the other side. He smiled and pressed a kiss to Jim’s heaving shoulder.
There was no point now in holding back. He began to thrust in earnest, taking
care to hit Jim’s prostate on every second or third stroke.
There was no reason to drag this out; he was more than ready to climax, and the
sooner he did, the less sore Jim was likely to be afterwards. On that thought,
his body rebelled. Blair plunged deep one last time and felt his cock pulse,
held firmly inside Jim’s body. Jim felt it too, of course, and gave a low moan
as Blair’s semen exploded inside him. Blair collapsed across Jim’s back with a
sob and for several minutes all he could hear was the pounding of his heart and
his own and Jim’s ragged breathing.
Gradually, his cock softened, and Blair forced himself to move. Far enough, at
least, that he was lying beside Jim instead of on top of him. “Jim, are you
okay?”
A faint affirmative reassured him on that point. He ran his hand from Jim’s
shoulder down to his buttock, feeling the lingering tremors deep within his
muscles. He silently urged Jim to roll onto his side and brushed his fingers
against Jim’s cock, disappointed, but not surprised, to find it still lax and
with no evidence of orgasm. He stroked the sensitive flesh gently.
“It’s all right.” Jim smiled weakly. “It was wonderful, Blair. It felt…
incredible.”
He moved into Jim’s arms, wanting to bury himself inside Jim in an entirely
different way. “I wonder if it worked.”
Jim’s body shook, and it took him a moment to realise that his lover was
laughing weakly. “If it didn’t, then we’ll just have to keep trying.”
Oh, yeah…
***
The faint moonlight brushed the trees and the air with bluish silver. Blair
paused for a moment, wondering at the unearthly beauty of it, then continued to
walk along the path, only faintly delineated by trampled grasses. Jim should be
somewhere near by; he could almost feel his sentinel’s presence.
Ahead of him, a blurred pattern of pale and dark resolved suddenly into a wolf,
standing motionless, its breath clouding in the chill air. Blair stopped,
feeling certain he ought to be afraid of the beautiful animal, but unable to
feel any emotion other than awe. The wolf regarded him with an air of calm
superiority for a moment, then whined sharply, turned, and ran down the path a
dozen paces before stopping to look over its shoulder at him.
“You want me to follow you?” Blair shrugged. He’d realised by now that this was
a dream, so he supposed he might as well go along with it. He began to walk
again, following the wolf, which trotted along the path, tail held proudly
aloft.
“Blair?”
He opened his eyes reluctantly, then squinted them shut against the bright
golden light that flooded the room. Blair wriggled to settle himself even more
comfortably against Jim’s body. His sentinel was holding him in a loose embrace
against his shoulder, and the two of them were propped up against a mound
consisting of every pillow the cabin contained. One of Jim’s large hands cupped
his head while the other stroked his thigh. Blair sighed and snuggled
unashamedly, dismissing the dream in favour of waking delights.
“Blair, someone’s coming.” Jim nuzzled his hair and then kissed his lips as
Blair turned his face up. “Two people. Strangers.”
“Damn.” His sigh this time was one of resignation rather than pleasure. “I
suppose we’d better get dressed.”
“Guess so.”
Jim released him as Blair reluctantly wriggled out from between his legs. Damn,
he was half hard and ready to play, though in a tiny part of his mind alarm
bells were ringing. It was too early for visitors, and Jim had said they were
strangers. Something was wrong. Rousing himself from his sensual lassitude,
Blair hurried to dress himself. Jim was doing the same, and by the time their
visitors were close, they were ready and waiting.
Standing well back from the window, Blair could still see the pair, a young man
and woman, hurrying towards the cabin. They were carrying a backpack each and
seemed completely intent on reaching their goal.
Before they could knock, Blair opened the door. “Hi.”
He smiled at their obvious surprise, but the young man recovered quickly.
“Thomas sent us. He said you have to go now.”
Blair’s stomach sank, and he was relieved to feel Jim’s body close behind him.
“What’s happened?”
“We don’t know. Thomas just said to tell you that you have to go.” The young
woman spoke almost apologetically. “We have to stay here for a few days, he
said.”
Blair nodded slowly and opened the door wider. “Come in. We’ll just get our
things.”
Jim had already moved away and was retrieving the backpack that contained their
clothing. The young couple stood just inside the door, watching. They probably
knew nothing more than what they’d said. There was no need; the plans had been
made days ago, now it only remained to carry them out.
“Thomas said to give you this,” the young man held out one of the backpacks,
“and these.”
“Thanks.” Blair took the two disks from his outstretched hand. They were worn
with age and frequent handling, though the leather thongs they were strung on
were new. The symbols were slightly different on each, and something told him
which was his and which belonged to Jim. He hung his disk around his neck and
felt a shiver pass through his body. Then he tucked it carefully inside his
shirt. “Tell Thomas, thank you. Tell him, we’ll…” his throat closed up and he
swallowed.
“Tell him we’ll treasure them.” Jim’s voice steadied him, a hand on his
shoulder directed him to the door. “We’d better hurry. You know what to do?”
“We’re to clean everything and burn sage to purify the cabin.” The young woman
giggled with obvious embarrassment. “Then… well, we’ve just got married, two
days ago…”
They both blushed and Blair almost laughed out loud. Burning the sage should
help mask any residual scent not dealt with by the cleaning. Add to that the
pheromones these two must be throwing off and the Institute’s chances of
finding traces of his and Jim’s presence were miniscule.
“Well, good luck.” He kissed the young bride and shook her husband’s hand. “I
hope we’ll meet again some time.”
He shouldered the pack and walked out without looking back.
There was no way to tell how far away the Institute guards might be. Not yet on
the reservation, or Jim would have sensed them, but obviously Thomas had had
some kind of advance warning. Blair hurried down the path towards the stream
Jim had scented all those days ago. There was a canoe waiting for them there
and they would be safe as long as they stuck close to the tree-lined banks.
Of course, once the stream reached the river, they’d have to hide until
darkness came. Best not to think too far ahead, though. Blair walked a little
faster, certain that Jim would be able to keep up. They didn’t talk.
***
Nightfall found them on the move again. They’d dozed on and off through the
afternoon. Jim had insisted on keeping watch most of the time, so he could hear
any danger approaching, but nothing had come near. He’d waited until just
before sunset, then, grounded by Blair’s hand on his shoulder and Blair’s low-
voiced monologue, had extended his senses as far as he could.
Coming out of it, Jim’s mouth tightened to a grim line.
“What is it?” Blair rubbed his arm firmly. “What did you get?”
“They’re at the reservation. I don’t think they’ve found the cabin yet, but
they’ve rounded up all the people and they’re questioning them.” Jim’s fists
clenched helplessly. “They’re being… they’ve been pretty rough with some of
them. Not the elders, but Nathaniel… and some of the others.”
Blair swallowed his nausea. “Is he okay? Have they hurt him?”
“Nothing serious, but…” Jim flushed suddenly, his lips trembling. “This is
happening because they helped us. It’s just not fair.”
“No, it’s not, but we can’t do anything.” Blair hugged him. “It’s time we
started. It’ll be completely dark soon.”
They ate some of the food Thomas had sent them in the backpack and readied the
canoe. It was going to be a long night.
The river, once they reached it, was more difficult to negotiate. It was
running considerably faster than the stream had, and there were frequent
crosscurrents and shallows that tested their beginner’s skills to the limit.
Blair was aware of Jim’s silence behind him, and how tired he must be after the
lack of sleep this afternoon. He tried to make up for it by paddling harder,
but only succeeded in making his arms and shoulders ache.
By the time the sky behind them was starting to lighten, Blair knew they were
in trouble. Between them they managed to ground the canoe and clamber out, weak
at the knees after so long in a confined space.
“We missed the fork, Jim. We should have got to the lake by now.” There was a
settlement on the lakeshore that Thomas had told them would give shelter to
them for a few days, but now they didn’t even have that.
“I’m sorry. I should have heard it.” Jim shook his head, his face drawn. “We’ll
have to hide out for the day and backtrack tonight.”
“I guess.” Blair hugged him, “but it’s not your fault, okay? There was enough
moonlight. I should have seen it.”
They made camp under a grove of trees, not daring to light a fire, but eating
their supplies cold. Then they wrapped themselves in the thermal blankets to
cut down their heat signal emissions and pulled the canoe over them, upside
down, to further confuse any scanners. Blair fell asleep immediately.
***
He woke from confused dreams to find Jim wrapped around him, almost on top of
him, and twitching faintly as he, too, dreamed. Blair grinned and slid out from
under his sentinel and the canoe to check their surroundings.
It was late afternoon, by the angle of the sun, and warm, in spite of the high
clouds. He pissed against a tree with a sigh of relief and made his way down to
the river to wash his hands and face. When he got back, Jim was awake.
“Hey.” He leaned down and kissed his lover. “It’s still a way to go before
dark.”
“Yeah.” Jim sounded distracted. He sniffed, made his way to the same tree Blair
had used and emptied his bladder. “I’m just gonna wash up.”
“Okay.” Blair resisted the impulse to follow him to the river. He certainly had
enough confidence in Jim’s ability to get there and back without drowning
himself; it was just an instinctive reluctance to let his sentinel get too far
away from him.
Jim was back in a couple of minutes, looking more alert. They ate in silence
and Blair wondered how much longer their supplies would last. They should have
been at their next stopping point by now and not in need of them.
“There’s a road up ahead.” Jim inclined his head eastwards. “I can hear the
traffic.”
That could be a bad thing. “Very far?”
“A couple of kilometres.” Jim frowned. “Blair, I had this dream…”
“Yeah?”
“There were trees, lots of them and everything was blue.”
It sounded a lot like the place he’d dreamed about. “Was there a wolf?”
“No.” Jim frowned slightly. “Why?”
“I had a dream about a blue forest and there was a wolf. It was like he wanted
me to follow him. But then I woke up.” Curiosity stirred inside him as the
memory surfaced. “It was yesterday morning, just before… you’re sure there
wasn’t a wolf somewhere?”
“There wasn’t a wolf, but I saw a cat. A big one, black, like a panther.” Jim
shifted restlessly. “I kinda felt like it wanted me to follow it too. But we’re
going west, right now and if we backtrack we’ll be going east. It wanted us to
go south.”
“How do you know? Blair grinned. The whole thing seemed kinda crazy. “Did it
say ‘go south’ or something?”
Jim shrugged. “I just know.”
Maybe it was some sentinel instinct, or some long forgotten memory suddenly
resurfacing. Or maybe it wasn’t. “You know the early sentinels – the modern
ones, Twentieth Century – some of the stories say they saw animal spirits.
D’you think those dreams could be something like that?”
It was a cool idea, that they had animal spirits watching over them, but Blair
wasn’t sure whether he was ready to go in entirely the wrong direction just
because Jim had dreamt about a big black cat.
“If we went south, where would we go?” Jim hunched his shoulders a little
defensively and didn’t answer, but his own question got Blair thinking. “You
know, Naomi and I spent some time at an organic orchard and vineyard outside of
San Fran once. There are a whole lot of places like that in California and it’s
just getting to harvest time for the apricots. We could get work on one, I’m
sure. And it’s close to Mexico, so we could easily get across the border if we
had to.”
“Do you want to do that?” Jim sounded unsure of himself, but hopeful too.
“You really believe we should go south, don’t you?” Jim nodded decisively, and
that was enough for Blair. “Okay. I guess that means finding the road and
hitching a lift.”
They took the canoe back to the river and weighted it down with stones until
water sloshed over the side so they could sink it under the overhang of the
bank. If he could, he’d send word to Thomas so somebody could come retrieve it.
Then they set out walking towards the road.
It was a given that their pictures would have been circulated, but they’d
already prepared for that. Thomas had cut Jim’s hair to a military style buzz
cut, and while Blair mourned the loss of that thick mop of dark hair, it
certainly accentuated the strong planes of Jim’s cheekbones and jaw and made
him look considerably older. Jim was wearing a pair of wraparound shades, which
served to cover for his blindness. His other senses were strong enough to
compensate for the lack of sight and Blair was confident he could carry it off.
His own hair was several centimetres longer than it had been, since he’d
started growing it out before returning to the Institute, and was long enough
now to flop over his forehead and cheeks if he bowed his head slightly. It
would have to do, but Blair gave silent thanks that the Institute had
exaggerated Jim’s condition in the newscasts. People were not likely to see the
rogue sentinel and his guide in what appeared to be a couple of perfectly
normal young men.
Reaching the road presented no difficulty, but getting a ride turned out to be
far from easy. Finally a freight hauler pulled over with a whirring protest of
its antigrav unit and the truckie invited them aboard with a genial smile. It
turned out he was a talkative soul, happy to have company on his trip, and
Blair was hard put to answer all his questions without giving too much away. He
dropped them in a small, backwater town where he assured them they could catch
a bus to Portland and drove off with a friendly wave.
The credit chips Blair had saved were enough to buy them tickets and a meal at
the local diner, and not much more than that. After Portland they would have to
hitch again, hopefully with someone who wasn’t as curious as their last ride.
By the time the bus arrived, at ten in the evening, Blair was happy enough to
curl up against Jim’s side and sleep.
In his dream the wolf grinned at him approvingly and bounded down the dimly lit
path.
***
“Done for the day?” Corey grinned at Blair as he manoeuvred the antigrav
platform to link with the collection unit and offloaded his last bin of
apricots.
Blair nodded, relieved that the long day was finally over. It was getting
seriously hot now, and though he’d never minded the heat, he’d also never
worked all day in it until taking on this job. “Yeah. I think I’ll go for a
swim. Anything happening tonight?”
“Some of the people who are leaving are going to have a barbecue. Could run
late.” The older man, one of the commune members, took over the controls
remotely, allowing Blair to step off the platform, and then directing it to a
powerstation where its batteries would recharge overnight. “This is about the
last of the apricots. The plums are just starting to come in. Maybe another
week and they‘ll be ready. You and Joey going to stay on?”
“Dunno.” Blair scratched his scalp with both hands, feeling the dust gritty
against his fingers. Definitely needed a swim. “We haven’t talked about it.
Maybe.”
“You’re more than welcome. Both of you are good workers.” Corey laid a friendly
hand on Blair’s shoulder. “There won’t be any wages until the picking starts
again, but you’ll have free accommodation and food.”
“We’ll let you know tomorrow.” Blair smiled gratefully at the commune member.
It was a good offer, and although he and Jim had been careful about what they
spent their wages on, they still didn’t have a lot of credit saved up. Since
neither of them had any idea where they’d go once the fruit picking season was
over, it might be a good idea to stay on. “Where is Joey, anyway?”
Corey chuckled. “I saw him heading up to the reservoir.”
It was where they all went to swim and relax after a hot day, and this was one
of the hottest yet. On the other hand, it would be crowded and Jim tended to
avoid crowds, even now. In a large group of people it was more difficult for
him to focus his senses enough to compensate for his lack of sight.
“Guess I’ll join him.” Blair lifted a hand in a casual farewell. “Thanks,
Corey.”
“Have fun, Jake.” Corey turned away, his attention already shifting to another
worker bringing in her last pick of the day.
Making his way up the short, steep rise to the reservoir, Blair made a
conscious effort to cast off any concerns about the future and open his mind
up. He’d discovered, soon after they arrived here, that if he did that he could
usually locate Jim pretty easily. Today was no exception; he felt a kind of
tugging that drew his attention to a small scattering of trees not too far from
the reservoir.
With Jim located, Blair relaxed and headed for the reservoir, where there was
already about a dozen people, swimming and cavorting in the cool water. Before
long, there would be a lot more. Blair didn’t bother to join the group, just
stripped down to his briefs and dived in. The water felt incredible against his
parched, heated skin. Blair surfaced when he needed to breathe and then went
under again. Five minutes of that was enough to strip away all the tension of
the day and Blair floated for a while, relaxing with his eyes closed.
A loud yell and a miniature tsunami persuaded Blair that the reservoir was
getting just a bit too crowded. He swam to the edge and heaved himself out.
Once, he would have been all too happy to join in with the playful group, but
now all he wanted was to find Jim. Since the area was strictly clothing
optional, Blair had no compunction in stripping off his wet briefs and drying
himself off with his loose tank top. He pulled on his baggy cotton knit shorts
and sandals and headed off in Jim’s direction.
Sure enough, Jim was under the trees, sprawled on his back, eyes closed. Blair
paused for a moment to appreciate the sight. Two months of good food and
physical work had filled him out to a sleek, muscular perfection that would
make anyone’s mouth water. The sun had burnished him to pale bronze and
darkened his nipples to a luscious chestnut.
Maybe being blind meant that Jim had no idea what effect his appearance and
choice of clothing had on people, but Blair doubted it. His eyes followed the
line of long legs up to a pair of the skimpiest cutoffs he’d ever seen that
still covered everything they were required to cover. The waistband barely
reached Jim’s hipbones and the ragged edges of the legs were high enough at the
front to reveal a scattering of dark hairs and the crease where his thigh met
his body. Blair smiled reminiscently at the memory of Jim preceding him out to
the orchard this morning, the curve of his ass cheeks peeking below the torn
denim. No doubt about it, his lover was an exhibitionist.
“Are you just going to stand there?” Jim’s voice, lazily amused, broke through
his reverie and Blair noticed that Jim’s right hand was inside the shorts and
moving slowly. “Or are you gonna join in?”
Blair grinned. Three weeks ago, Jim had finally ‘come online’ so to speak, and
like any kid with a new toy, he wanted to play with it all the time. “I could
watch.”
In fact, now that he thought of it, that could be almost as much fun. He leaned
against a nearby tree. A faint pink flush on Jim’s cheeks was more likely an
indication of arousal than embarrassment. After they’d become lovers, Jim had
rapidly lost any sense of modesty he’d possessed, at least in his guide’s
presence.
Blair watched as Jim swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing, and smiled. The hand
that had been resting behind his head came down to toy with his left nipple,
slowly rubbing and pinching the erect tip. The hand hidden in his shorts moved
a little faster, a little more purposefully.
Damn, that was hot. Blair bit his lip for a moment then walked over and dropped
to his knees beside Jim. “You could at least let me see.”
“Sure.” Jim slurred the word, already preoccupied with the sensations. “Be my
guest.”
Blair tugged the zipper down – the stud at the top was already open – and then
the shorts while Jim continued to stroke his half erect cock. He couldn’t have
started until Blair had almost reached him. Jim must have been waiting for him,
and that thought made Blair ache with love as well as arousal. He sat back on
his heels to enjoy the show.
Jim had beautiful hands and a beautiful cock. The sight of those long, elegant
fingers moving over the flushed and swollen cock was better than any wet dream
Blair had ever had. His body knew, in intimate detail, what those fingers felt
like. He didn’t need Jim to touch him to be able to feel it, and Blair felt his
own cock filling in sympathetic reaction. He realised, belatedly, that his hand
was gently caressing the inside of Jim’s thigh, but didn’t see any reason why
he should stop.
A small moan escaped Jim and his cock stiffened into full arousal and lifted
against his hand. The first drop of pre-cum escaped from his slit and Blair
bent to lick it away. Such a wonderful taste, and still new enough to surprise
him every time with its deliciousness. He waited hungrily for the next drop to
form.
After the third drop, Blair gave up all pretence of non-involvement and began
to suck delicately at Jim’s cockhead. His hand slid up Jim’s thigh to massage
his balls. It was all still so new for Jim that he wouldn’t be able to last
long, so after a couple of minutes Blair drew back. Jim gave a shuddering moan,
his hand moving faster, until Blair laid his over the top.
“Want to fuck me?” His voice was hoarse with arousal and his cock, entirely
neglected, was making its protest felt, pushing out the front of his shorts.
A heartfelt groan gave him the affirmative. Jim’s eyes opened slightly, fixing
on Blair’s face as though he could see him. “Did you bring any lube?”
“We’ll have to improvise.” Blair lifted Jim’s hand away from his cock and bent
over to suck deeply, wetly. In this dry air, saliva wouldn’t last long, but it
was all they had, unless… “I’ll jerk myself off. We can use that too.”
He shoved down his shorts and tossed them aside, then straddled Jim’s thighs.
He would have to hurry, but even his urgency, and Jim’s, couldn’t stop him from
taking pleasure in his own touch. He teased the line of hair running from navel
to groin, ruffling the dark, wiry hairs against the direction of their growth.
That line had become wider and denser in the last two months, and hair was even
beginning to sprout on his chest, much to Jim’s delight.
Tremors ran though his body and he turned his attention to his cock, grasping
it firmly and starting a smooth, rapid movement that would bring him off
quickly. He didn’t hold back on the little gasps and moans that rose to his
lips, knowing that Jim would be focusing on scent and sound now. His hips began
to move insistently, pushing into his hand and he rose a little on his knees to
facilitate the movement.
“Jim, can you feel it? I’m so close, man… so close.” He groaned deeply as the
sensations crested and the glorious release washed over him. He toppled
forward, managing to put a hand out to keep himself from falling flat on his
face. His other hand squeezed and jerked at his cock, milking the last bit of
sensation, the last few drops of cum.
All he could hear was the pounding of his heart and his own and Jim’s raucous
breathing. For a moment he was afraid that Jim had come too, but when he
managed to pry his eyes open, Blair saw that Jim’s cock was still hard and
fiery red at the tip.
Of course, if he had come, they could always have waited ten minutes and tried
again, but suddenly even ten minutes was too long to wait for this. They hadn’t
had a chance to do it before, since the shared quarters of the dormitories
weren’t exactly amenable to full fledged fucking. Sure, everybody had learned
to ignore the muffled gasps and groans as their co-workers had paired up for a
night of groping and hand jobs, but anything more serious than that meant
sleeping outside and the nights were still surprisingly cold at this elevation.
Blair willed the strength back into his arms and legs and pushed himself
upright. “Hold on, Jim. Just a little longer.”
Jim nodded, biting his lower lip and clenching his fist even more tightly
around the base of his cock. Blair scooped up the slippery semen from Jim’s
belly and chest and let it dribble from his fingers onto his cock. He spread it
sketchily over the tip and down the shaft, then opened himself quickly with two
fingers. There wasn’t time for more, and he positioned the blunt cockhead
against his asshole and pushed himself down. Jim groaned raggedly and clutched
at Blair’s thighs, fighting for control.
After a couple of panting gasps, he let his breath out in a long sigh and
nodded. “I’m okay.”
“Good.” Blair leaned forward and caressed his cheek. “You can move now, buddy.”
Jim bit his lip again and moved his hips experimentally. The angle wasn’t quite
right and Blair shifted his balance slightly, holding himself a little way
above Jim so he could thrust more easily. The thick cock slid inside him with
ease and Jim gasped. “Feels so good.”
“Fantastic. Fucking fantastic, Jim.” Blair adjusted his weight again and the
next thrust sent shockwaves of pleasure through him as Jim’s cock brushed his
prostate. “Ji-iiim… did you feel that?”
Jim didn’t answer, but his hips moved faster and the friction, combined with
the stimulation of his prostate brought Blair’s cock from soft to fully erect
in a matter of seconds. “Harder. Harder… please…”
Sweat poured off Jim’s face and chest as he increased the pace. The sounds of
their co-workers faded into insubstantiality and all Blair was aware of was the
laboured breathing of his lover, and the slapping of Jim’s thighs against his
ass. His own breathing reached a ragged crescendo and he had to choke back a
cry as his body rebelled. Pearly strands of semen scattered across Jim’s chest
for the second time and his ass tightened around Jim’s cock. He felt it swell
inside him and pulse sharply as Jim cried out, followed by other, gentler
pulses. Jim’s chest was heaving, and he let out a low, helpless moan that sent
shudders through Blair’s body.
When the body beneath him relaxed, Blair eased himself off Jim’s softening cock
and settled down beside him. They lay in exhausted silence, until Blair was
close to falling asleep. A particularly loud shout and laughter from the
direction of the reservoir brought him back and he wriggled a little closer to
Jim and kissed him to get his attention.
“Wha?”
Blair kissed him again, for the sheer pleasure of it. “How about we sleep up
here tonight?”
Jim smiled at him contentedly. “Sure. I’ve been wanting to try out those
sleeping bags we bought.”
He yelped with gratifying sharpness when Blair pinched his ribs.
***
The party was still going full throttle when Blair woke, although it was
getting close to morning. Even under the trees he could tell the sky was
starting to lighten. They could have spent the night in the dorm after all,
since it was probably empty, but he was deliciously cosy in the sleeping bag
and happy to have Jim’s warm body spooned around him. And, of course, they did
need to try out the sleeping bags.
He lay drowsily content, listening to the revelries in the distance. It seemed
that many of the pickers would be leaving, to return to college, or go on to
another job, and those that stayed behind would have a week of freedom before
the fruit picking resumed. Friendships and romances that had blossomed in the
last two months would fade away and no doubt new ones would take their place
when the new workers arrived.
Blair was intimately familiar with the nomadic lifestyle that some of these
people had chosen. He and Naomi had made up a tribe of two for as far back as
he could remember; now the tribe consisted of him and Jim. He smiled at the
thought and snuggled back into the curve of Jim’s body.
When the wolf appeared, he thought for a moment he was dreaming, but he
couldn’t be. The light from the full moon was pure silver with no hint of blue.
It must be a real wolf.
It was the same wolf. Identical down to the last marking. He’d had plenty of
opportunities to learn its appearance, as both he and Jim had dreamt of their
spirit animals several times. He’d never seen it awake before.
The wolf waited patiently, watching him.
“Jim?” He tugged on Jim’s arm, lying heavy and relaxed across his chest. “Jim,
wake up.”
“Uh?” Jim stirred vaguely, his arm tightening a little.
Blair poked him with and elbow and spoke sharply, half afraid the wolf would
leave. “It’s important, Jim. Wake up.”
Hot air gusted against the back of his neck and when Jim moved again it was
more purposefully. “What is it?”
“Can you see a wolf?” Stupid question. Blair tried again. “I can see it. The
wolf.”
“There aren’t any wolves in California. At least not in the wild.” He heard Jim
sniff deeply. “There sure isn’t any wolf here.”
“It’s not just any wolf, Jim. It’s The Wolf.”
“Oh.” Jim pushed himself up on one elbow and cool air rushed into the gap
between their bodies; they both shivered. “What does it want?”
“How the fuck would I know?” But he did. He did. “We have to leave.”
A sigh. Jim nuzzled his neck. “Where are we going?”
They’d discussed this time and time again over the summer; they’d both known
they couldn’t remain on the commune forever, but lacking any clear direction
and needing funds, they’d stayed.
“I just… south again.” Blair shook his head. “That’s all I get. South and a lot
of trees.”
He looked appealingly toward the wolf, which seemed singularly unmoved. Then,
gradually, like a fog clearing from the ground, but in reverse, the darker
shadow beside the wolf resolved into a large black cat. A jaguar, not a
panther, Blair recognised with the tiny part of his brain that was still
functioning. The two animals stood there a moment longer and then turned away.
Blair couldn’t tell whether they actually moved off or simply disappeared, but
they were certainly gone.
“Blair?” Jim was shaking his shoulder and sounding worried.
He twisted around to face his lover. “I saw the jaguar, Jim. Your jaguar. It
was with the wolf.”
Jim grinned. “Cool. I thought it was a panther.”
“A jaguar.” Overcome with excitement, Blair kissed Jim soundly, and they could
easily have become distracted.
A loud whoop of laughter from the partygoers brought them back to the reality
of their situation. The last time the wolf had warned them to leave, the
Institute security guards had arrived within hours. Blair dragged himself
reluctantly out of the warmth of their joined sleeping bags.
“Fuck! It’s freezing!” He hurriedly pulled on the clothes they’d put in the
bottom of the bags to keep warm for morning. “I’ll go down to the dorm and get
the rest of our stuff. You pack up what’s here, okay?”
Jim nodded, already half dressed. “You know, south and trees isn’t a lot of
help here. Some map co-ordinates would’ve been nice.”
That was his sentinel, always the down to earth one. Blair grinned and kissed
him. “We’ll figure it out.”
***
As Blair had expected, getting into Mexico proved no real problem. When the USA
and Canada had followed the example of the United States of Central and South
America and formed a confederation, Mexico had carved out a lucrative niche for
itself, acting as a buffer between two continents which had huge cultural and
political differences. Poverty gradually melted away and with it the problem of
illegal immigrants. The border controls were now so laissez faire that there
were dozens of places where a couple of guys could slip from one country to the
other without fear of detection.
They made their way south, still with no real idea of their ultimate
destination, but following whatever instincts seemed to be leading them. It
took a week to reach Puerto Escondido, the southernmost major town on the west
coast. And there they stopped, because the border between Mexico and the USCSA
was not nearly so relaxed and, as Jim said, they might as well know where they
were headed before they took any more risks.
A few days passed and they spent most of their time relaxing on the beaches.
Tourists from all over the world lazed in the sun, surfed, swam, and shopped in
the markets; nobody was going to take the slightest notice of two more. It was
the perfect cover, as long as their credit held. To save money, they slept in
the parks or on the beaches and even in this, they were far from unique.
“Why don’t we go to Peru?”
“Huh?” Blair started out of a light doze and summoned the energy to roll onto
his belly. The baking sun on his body left him feeling wonderfully indolent and
contented. “Why Peru?”
Jim leaned closer and nibbled his ear. “Isn’t that where the first modern
sentinels came from?”
“That’s the legend, but who knows if it’s true?” He tried to remember, because
it was the sort of story that he loved, shrouded in mystery and mysticism. The
kind of story the Institute, with its distrust of anything that couldn’t be
quantified, did its best to stifle. “There’s no real documentation.”
“But we’ve seen the spirit animals.” Jim shrugged. “So if they’re real…”
“You’ve got a point.” Blair grinned. Somehow Jim’s suggestion just felt right.
“I guess that means we head for Lima.”
Once they had their destination in mind, it wasn’t hard to hook up with a group
heading in that direction. The first thing they’d done, on reaching Mexico, was
to obtain the necessary travel documents; now their South African passports
would be put to the test. Travelling with a group of young people of varying
nationalities should take the heat off them, or so they hoped.
Much to Blair’s amusement, the moment their admittedly elderly hired yacht left
the safety of port, Jim retired to the cabin they shared with four others,
looking slightly green, and remained there for the duration. He would have been
prepared to stay below decks and miss all the fun, if Jim hadn’t made it clear
he wanted to be left to die in peace.
Since his sentinel’s demise didn’t seem at all imminent, Blair decided to spare
both of them and threw himself into his first sailing lessons with his usual
enthusiasm. It was only going to be a couple of days, after all. In fact, this
turned out to be a fortunate decision. An hour out from Lima, and with darkness
rapidly approaching, Blair managed to persuade one of the yacht’s permanent
crewmembers to sneak them overboard and row them to shore, thus avoiding any
serious examination of their passports.
They slept under a tree near the beach and in the morning a revitalised Jim was
perfectly happy to walk a couple of kilometres to catch a bus into the city.
***
Lima, it seemed, was the self-proclaimed centre of the modern sentinel
renaissance. Every street held tourist shops selling cheap souvenirs, maps, and
books ranging from the apparently serious to the patently ridiculous, all
sentinel related. Blair was momentarily tempted by a T-shirt which proclaimed
‘My Sentinel went to Peru and all he got me was this lousy T-shirt’, but
flinched away from a children’s book entitled ‘The Littlest Sentinel’ which
featured a sickeningly cute Jaguar cub with enormous blue eyes on the cover.
Unfortunately, there didn’t seem to be any books for sale that contained
anything remotely resembling useful information. Undeterred, Blair located the
unpromising looking Museum of Sentinel Studies in a tiny, dirty side street and
dragged Jim, protesting rather fatalistically, into its dimly lit depths.
They emerged several hours later, blinking in the bright sunlight, and not a
lot wiser.
“Okay, well, there were some things…” Blair sank down onto a bench beside a
small fountain in one of the tiny plazas that were dotted around the city. “I
mean, everyone seems to agree that there were sentinels up in the La Montãna
region. And about the jaguar being a spirit guide for sentinels. At least we
know they’re right about that.”
Jim shrugged. “Not much to go on. Is it?”
“Maybe when we get there…” Blair sighed and riffled through the tiny Quechua
phrase book he’d purchased. “There isn’t really anywhere else to go, is there?”
“I guess not.” Jim smiled reluctantly. “When do we leave?” 
There was an old-fashioned airplane to Iquitos leaving early the next morning.
They spent the rest of the afternoon and evening enjoying the non sentinel-
related sights and then Blair curled up on one of the airport’s waiting room
benches with his head in Jim’s lap and dozed away the few hours left. Once on
board, Jim slept, leaning against the window with his jaw hanging slightly
open. Blair watched him, only occasionally distracted by the beauty of the
passing countryside below.
The further they flew, the more it began to feel like they were coming home.
Somehow, it just felt right, and neither Blair nor Jim were questioning that
instinct any more, although Blair would have felt reassured if he could have
had just one dream.
There was no sign, and Jim hadn’t dreamed of his spirit animal in days either.
Still, as they gathered up their belongings and left the plane, Blair felt his
spirits lift. It felt like the journey’s end was coming closer.
From Iquitos they travelled up the Napo River on one of the tourist boats,
ancient and grimy though it was, and it took the last of their savings. When
they landed in that last tiny outpost of civilisation Blair could feel the
change that came over Jim. Instead of damping down his senses, Blair could see
that he was extending them, becoming the watchman his abilities had designed
him to be. His head lifted, nostrils flaring as he scented the air, then
tilting slightly to catch some sound far too faint for any normal person to
hear.
“Jim, come on, buddy.” He tugged at Jim’s arm and they wandered through the
small crowd that had come to meet the twice-weekly boat.
Some of the tourists would be staying in carefully chosen villages, to
experience first hand a lifestyle that was millennia old. Others, like the
small group of anthropologists and botanists, would be going further afield.
Only Jim and Blair had made no plans, a fact they’d taken some care to conceal.
The government of Peru was not at all tolerant of tourists who wandered off the
beaten track and required rescuing from the consequences of their own
foolishness.
They slipped through the rapidly dispersing onlookers and faded into the edge
of the jungle, only metres away from the small settlement. A hundred metres
into the jungle and they might as well have been on another planet.
“Have you got anything?” Blair shook Jim’s arm impatiently. “Any direction?”
A quick dip of Jim’s head. He turned and took a couple of steps, then stopped.
“Are you coming?”
“I’m coming, I’m coming…” Blair grumbled under his breath, but his heart was
pounding.
***
Their first night in the jungle was thrilling, and scary as hell. Blair slept
huddled against Jim’s side, but still woke at every sound. Whether Jim slept at
all, he didn’t know. Jim had retreated into a wary silence and didn’t respond
to Blair’s nervous chatter.
On the positive side, he seemed to know where he was going, and how to avoid
danger. They stopped frequently in response to signals Blair could not even
begin to guess at, moving on only when Jim was satisfied. It occurred to him
that there might be no other sentinel alive who could really comprehend what
Jim was experiencing now. He was working on an instinct as ancient and as
primitive as the jungle that surrounded them.
The second morning, Blair woke alone. For a moment he was too shocked to feel
anything, then panic flooded his system. Without Jim he had no hope of
survival, let alone finding his way back to the settlement. Luckily, before he
had a chance to do something stupid, Jim appeared, sliding silently between the
shrubby undergrowth with a small, limp, bloodied body in his hands.
He’d been hunting. Blair gulped back the slightly hysterical greeting that rose
to his lips and swallowed queasily. They were getting low on food, but he
hadn’t really thought about the fact they were going to have to start killing
things with their own hands.
“Wow, Jim…” Uncharacteristically at a loss for words, he blurted out the first
thing that came into his head. “Is it safe to eat?”
“Yes.” Jim hunkered down beside him, the bloodied object dangling only
centimetres from Blair’s nose. “I gutted it for you.”
It looked like the guide’s duty was to cook. Well, okay, he supposed that was
fair. He took the object gingerly. “Okay. Guess I’d better get a fire started.”
Actually, it – whatever it was – tasted pretty good, if a little charred.
The third day was a lot easier. By that time Blair had gotten over his nerves
and even though the thick canopy diffused the sunlight so it was difficult to
tell which direction they were headed, Blair was pretty sure that Jim was
leading them… somewhere. They had some kind of snake for dinner, and it really
did taste a lot like chicken.
By the fifth day, he was starting to feel pretty pleased with himself, and
totally flabbergasted with the way Jim had taken so easily to the sentinel
rôle. Perhaps that’s why, when he suddenly ran into Jim’s back as the sentinel
stopped unexpectedly, that he didn’t completely freak out at the sight of five
Indians wearing bright woven cloth kilts and body and face paint in red, white
and black. Although when he noticed the large crossbows loaded with long
slender arrows, it was a close call indeed.
Jim didn’t seem to be too concerned, or surprised. He must have been able to
hear them coming, so presumably, he was prepared to trust them. Blair squared
his shoulders and moved up to stand beside his sentinel.
Another man appeared from the undergrowth behind the first five, and Blair
looked him over curiously, feeling a vague tugging in his direction. Like the
others, he wore a kilt and his face was painted with a gleaming red oval mask,
but he wasn’t carrying a weapon, and there was an aura of power around him. He
also looked pleased to see them. Blair smiled tentatively and the man beamed
back at him.
“We have been waiting for you.”
Blair blinked. The accent was different to what he’d heard in the lowlands, but
it was at least understandably Quechua. He blessed his ability to pick up the
basics of a language quickly. “You knew we were coming?”
“The spirits told me many months ago. We come to welcome the sentinel and his
guide.” He tapped his chest lightly. “I am Incacha, shaman of the Chopec. You
have come to learn, no?”
“Yes. I’m Blair, and Jim… Jim is a sentinel, but he is blind.” Blair took a
deep breath. What would their reaction be to a sentinel who was less than
perfect?
Incacha nodded, not appearing to be surprised by this revelation. “There is
much to do. You should not have waited so long. Come.”
“Jim?” Blair looked up at his lover. Who was listening to something. When he
turned back to Incacha, Blair saw there was a wolf standing on one side of the
shaman, and a black jaguar on the other.
Incacha glanced down affectionately at the animals then back at Blair. He
seemed to be pleased that Blair could see them. Then the shaman turned and
walked back the way he’d come, with the two spirit animals keeping pace. Blair
took Jim’s hand and walked between the tribesmen on the path they’d been chosen
to follow.
***
five years later:
Jim was waiting for him when Blair came out of Incacha’s hut. He wasn’t
entirely sure how long he’d been in there, but since it was dark, it couldn’t
have been less than a day and by the level of weakness in his legs not longer
than two. They were still able to carry him, after all. Once, he’d had to be
carried out after a marathon four-day session.
He was standing just on the edge of the trees that encircled the shaman’s hut,
leaning one shoulder against a handy tree, waiting patiently. Blair knew he
would have waited just as patiently if it had been a month and he felt a surge
of love for his sentinel. He also felt hungry, sleepy, weak at the knees and so
horny he could hammer Jim into next week and still not be satisfied. All of
which were effects he’d learned to expect from the fasting and use of certain
herbs required to undertake shamanic spirit journeys.
Blair smiled beatifically and padded across the bare ground, enjoying the swirl
of cool night air around his naked body. Toward Jim. Always toward Jim. With
the last of the drug still clinging to his system and sharpening his senses,
Blair had no real difficulty seeing his lover’s blue eyes light up at the sight
of him.
It had taken two years, give or take, for Jim’s eyesight to return under the
combined ministrations of Incacha and Mirame, the tribe’s healer. Two years of
sensory exercises, herbal treatments and spirit walks guided first by Incacha,
and then as Blair’s knowledge grew, by Blair himself. It had been worth every
minute, and every foul brew that Blair had promised faithfully to share, to
look into Jim’s eyes and see recognition spark into life on that never to be
forgotten day.
Hard as it was to believe, all the pleasure that he got from looking at Jim’s
beautiful, smooth, athletic body, Jim also felt from looking at his own short,
hairy, sturdy self. It didn’t seem like a fair return, but Blair wasn’t about
to complain. He definitely got the better part of the deal.
Like all the men in the village, Jim wore only a brief leather pouch to cover
his genitals unless he went on a hunting or scouting party. Then they would
wear bright, coarsely woven kilts to protect the most sensitive areas of their
bodies. Now, in the dark, he might just as well have been naked. Moonlight
gleamed on the smooth, tanned body and long legs and he could easily have been
a statue, so perfectly sculpted did he look.
As Blair got closer, Jim straightened, unfolded his arms and reached for him.
Blair leaned gratefully into the strong, bare chest and took a deep breath,
grounding himself in his lover’s scent. He hummed his pleasure softly, still a
little too dazed from the spirit walk to be able to put his thoughts and
emotions into words. Jim chuckled softly and stroked his hair, which now fell
to the middle of his back.
“This is the only time you’re not talking a mile a minute.” Blair smiled
dreamily, feeling the rumble of the words in Jim’s chest. Jim kissed the top of
his head, which still, after five years, only reached his chin. Sometimes life
was so unfair. He giggled faintly and kissed the skin under his lips. “Are you
going to tell me?”
Reminded of the purpose of his spirit walk, Blair struggled to get himself
under control. His erection must be boring a hole in Jim’s thigh, but Jim was
paying it no attention, and wouldn’t until business was dealt with. He sighed,
knowing that the news he had to tell Jim was going to sadden him. Both of them,
but at the moment he was too caught up in the aftermath to really feel it.
“It’s time to go.” He managed to get that out, and felt the muscles shift under
his cheek. “Go back, I mean.”
“Home? Cascade?” Jim’s voice was quiet. His arms tightened a little. “I’ve been
thinking about that for a while, but…”
“You don’t want to?” Blair sighed and patted Jim’s back consolingly. “Me
either. This feels like home. I’ve been here longer than I’ve ever stayed
anywhere.”
Jim sighed. Blair knew he felt the same way. “It makes sense. Now you’re a
legal adult.”
Sometime, a few months back, he guessed, he’d turned twenty-one, and that ended
the Institute’s legal guardianship of him. Jim, of course, was another matter,
but from everything Blair knew about sentinels, Jim had to be one of the most
powerful and finely tuned sentinels in a generation. It would be difficult for
the Institute to have him locked up as a rogue. Difficult, but not impossible. 
They’d have to handle their return very carefully.
“They might have changed the law while we’ve been gone. Maybe they treat guides
like sentinels now.” He offered the depressing suggestion hopefully, wanting to
be talked out of what he knew they had to do. He turned his face up to Jim’s
and was promptly kissed. Then he had to fight off the surge of sheer lust that
flooded his body so he could gain control of his tongue. “The Institute isn’t
going to want to give up their power over sentinels. It’s how they control
them. They for sure aren’t going to want to hear what we have to say about
spirit animals and vision quests.”
“So we don’t tell them. We tell the press. We tell all the people who don’t
like what the Institute is doing.” Jim kissed him again and Blair’s knees
buckled. Luckily, Jim had a firm grip on him. “We show them that you succeeded
where the Institute failed. You and Incacha and Mirame.”
“Mmn.” Right now he would have agreed to anything Jim said, just to be able to
listen to him saying it. “Fuck me.”
Jim laughed, and it was the sweetest sound he’d ever heard. “Anything you say,
Chief.”
“That’s right. Good Sentinel.” Blair chuckled, happily surrendering to the
lingering effects of the drugged vapour he’d inhaled during his spirit walk. He
draped his arms around Jim’s neck. “Fuck me hard.”
In moments his back was up against a tree, his legs dangling over Jim’s arms
and Jim’s cock was buried to the hilt in his ass. He wriggled delightedly,
feeling the pleasure zinging through his body. “Y’know, fasting’s a bitch, and
those herbs give me a fucking awful headache, but the apher… avro… abradeesiac
effect really rocks, man.”
“Tell me about it.” Jim grinned as he began to thrust, hard and fast, just the
way Blair liked. “It’s a wonder my dick doesn’t fall off after one of your
spirit walks.”
“Ooh, Jim…” Since both Jim’s hands were occupied holding his ass, Blair began
to jerk himself off with one hand while maintaining his grip on Jim’s neck with
the other. Between Jim and the tree, he wasn’t likely to fall, and besides, he
probably wouldn’t care if he did. “Tha’ wouldn’t be good. Harder.”
Jim’s tongue in his mouth made it difficult to talk, and after a while Blair
gave up trying. He felt his body tighten and then fall apart as if every part
of him was floating in a different direction. It was definitely weird. And then
he was suddenly, shockingly, back inside himself and Jim was inside him and he
was coming in wave after wave of sensation and Jim was coming inside him and
for a moment there weren’t two bodies, just one.
And then he was draped limply across Jim’s shoulder as his sentinel carried him
back to their hut, his body still throbbing to the beat of Jim’s heart.
He lifted his head with an effort and then had to close his eyes as the ground
swayed with each step that Jim took. “Hey, Jim. Put me down, man. This is no
way to treat your guide. ‘S not dignified.”
A snort of amusement and a slap on his backside was all the answer he got.
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