Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1849294.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence,
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Hetalia:_Axis_Powers, 2P_Hetalia_-_Fandom
  Relationship:
      2P_Germany_(Hetalia)/2P_Prussia
  Character:
      2P_Germany, 2P_Prussia, Werner_Beilschmidt_(Original_character), Frau
      Bach_(Original_character), Ingrid_Eberhardt_(Original_character)
  Additional Tags:
      Male_Slash, Sibling_Incest, Brother/Brother_Incest, Suspense, Violence,
      Romance, Implied/Referenced_Self-Harm, Arranged_Marriage, Human_Names
  Series:
      Part 2 of Ein_Spiel_zwischen_zwei_Brüdern
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-06-26 Words: 19444
****** Sehnsucht nach Freiheit (Continuation of Ein Spiel zwischen zwei
Brüdern) ******
by fraufi666
Summary
     After spending the night together for the first time, both brothers
     are caught by Werner, their overly oppressive and old-fashioned
     grandfather. Horrified at what he has seen, the old man puts forward
     a plan in an attempt to separate the two brothers: 2p! Prussia must
     work for him, while 2p! Germany is forced to marry the wealthy Munich
     aristocrat, Ingrid Eberhardt. The German must follow orders against
     his will to help the family name, as well as to protect his
     brother…But will they ever see each other again?
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
It was a hot yet still night as Ludwig and Gilbert had slept, wrapped in each
other's arms. However, neither man knew that this would lead to the worst dawn
ever imaginable. They continued to sleep in comfort, enjoying such intimacy of
the other's body heat.
"Mein Gott...."
Gilbert was the first to open his eyes, startled and confused by the random
familiar voice that was in the room. It was the voice that he had never thought
he would hear again.
"Oh Mein Gott!" The voice repeated. "I knew you were capable of being a useless
trouble maker, but I had never thought I would have to live to see you spread
your poison."
The Prussian quickly got out of the bed and was face-to-face with a bearded old
man. His blue eyes flashed in the most horrific rage that he had ever seen his
entire life.
"Großvater..." Gilbert was taken aback. He had vowed to never see this man
again, the one who was responsible for all of the heartache in the past..and
the wounds on his body. "How dare you come back..."
The old man looked even more repulsed as he heard Gilbert's words "I do not
want to hear you call me that again! You are no grandson of mine. You sick,
poisoned soul. I was almost glad when I thought that you had run away, just
like your brother...but instead of him, it was you who came back."
To that, Ludwig opened his eyes, amazed that his own grandfather did not even
realise that he was in the room. He turned to face the old man, placing a hand
on Gilbert's shoulder lazily.
"Großvater..." The young German smiled, his red eyes lighting up "You don't
recognise me? It's me, Ludwig."
As soon as the blond captured the old man’s attention, he began to tremble
uncontrollably. All these new events were too much to behold. The whole world
had seemed to move at such a dizzying speed that he couldn't even catch on. He
clutched his head, feeling suddenly ill. It was bad enough to see his own
grandson engage in something so vulgar, but it had never crossed his mind to
see that it was his favourite grandson that Gilbert had dragged into this.
"Was?" The old man shrieked, "What are you saying? I don't know you!" But as
his eyes scanned the man's fair features, his heart sank. He knew exactly who
he was.
"You...You've grown so much." He gasped, "I thought I would have never seen you
again after you had ran away." Yet even though he was slightly pleased to see
that his favourite grandson had come home, he was still disgusted by what he
had seen. Nothing could excuse this. Nothing.
"This is madness!" The old man cried, pacing around the room. He closed his
eyes, trying to block out the image of the two brothers sitting in the bed
together like lovers. His heart was beating so fast that he was sure that he
would suffer a heart attack. Nevertheless, he continued to scold at the two
men, although more towards Gilbert than Ludwig. "You are brothers. You are
committing a sin! A SIN!" He grabbed Ludwig's arm, looking at the blond in such
a pitying way that it had enraged the German. "Get out of here before Gilbert
poisons you more. This man is the devil's work."
The German pulled away and instead wrapped his muscular arms around Gilbert
"No." He said defiantly "I don't care. He's my brother and I love him. Nothing
you can do or say will change my mind."
The grandfather shook his head fiercely and both men could see tears forming in
his eyes. He cursed violently under his breath and began to draw an imaginary
cross before him. "Dear lord...Please, please forgive what my grandsons have
done."
"Shut up, you stupid old man." Gilbert snapped back "I thought you would have
died by now and left us alone. Remember when you had beaten me? Do you know how
miserable you have made me?" As he had said this, he removed the blanket off
himself, exposing his wounds to his grandfather.
"Herr Gott nochmal!" The old man cried shutting his eyes once more "I don't
want to see your body, you filthy sinner. I had to teach you a lesson. I had to
discipline you. So don't you dare say that this was my fault."
"It's because you don't want to see how much of a monster you are." Gilbert
replied, his voice rising "Look! Look at what you did! I can't even go out
without people stopping and staring at me!" As he said this, he began to sob.
Ludwig held him tightly in comfort, glaring at the elderly man.
"Get out." Ludwig ordered, causing his grandfather to shake again "Go! We don't
want you here!"
"You are making a grave mistake!" The old man said to Ludwig, his eyes filling
with remorse as he reluctantly left the room "And I will make sure to put
things right. I promise."
After the old man left, everything had changed. The love and security that had
filled the dark room was replaced by tension and anxiety. Gilbert felt his
hands tremble as he changed into his clothes, yet Ludwig had remained
frustrated, yet calmer in comparison.
"Don't worry bruder." Ludwig said soothingly, placing his hands on the other
man's shoulders. "I won't listen to what Großvater says. I know how bad he was
to you and I'm not going to let him control us." Suddenly a thought came to him
as his eyes fell on the cracked window nearby. The sky was beginning to pale as
the sun showed its first rays "Why don't you run away with me?" The German
asked, "We can escape from this awful place and live together, away from
Großvater."
But his face fell as he noticed how sad the Prussian had looked. Gilbert sat on
the bed, staring down at the floor miserably "It's a nice idea, kleiner
bruder." He answered quietly, failing to sound as enthusiastic as the other.
"But where can we go? Where can we live? We can't get jobs, because I have too
many scars. It's impossible to go anywhere in the outside world without getting
asked too many questions."
"We can live in the woods." Ludwig insisted "Nobody can find us there. We can
eat berries or plants to sustain us…At least, that's what I did when I ran
away."
Gilbert gave a small, sad smile. Despite how hopeful Ludwig's plan was, he knew
deep in his heart that it was unrealistic. "We can't live in the woods forever,
Ludwig." The albino said solemnly "We'll be found by hikers or morning joggers.
It's much too difficult." He traced a hand on the German's face, touching the
scar on his cheek "Look at us. We're human. We may not be like the others, but
we still need to live a little better than animals."
Ludwig sighed, knowing that his brother had a good point. "Well, what can we do
now?"
"We stay here." Gilbert decided. "As long as it takes. Even though I can't
forgive what Großvater has done, he is still our grandfather. We must at least
persevere. He's very old now, so he won't be here much longer. If he's left us
with the will, we can stay in this place."
"And if he doesn't?" Ludwig was now losing hope. Just as the grandfather had
done, he was pacing around the room madly, racking his brains for an easier
solution. Yet given the circumstances, he couldn't find any.
"Of course he'll leave the will." Gilbert insisted "Not to me, of course but
he'd give it to you. You're his favourite after all."
The German sighed again and sat beside the older man on the bed. "I just don't
want him to separate us. He can't do that. I care more about you than a stupid
mention in a will."
At the corner of his eye, he could see the Prussian smile slightly at his words
"I care about you too…" he murmured "But we need to follow orders. No matter
how long we sit here and think about it, Großvater won't go away."
After a silent moment, Ludwig gave a kiss on Gilbert's scarred cheek, worried
that it might be one of the last "Okay, let's go downstairs then." He didn't
want to lose his brother, but there was no way that the grandfather was going
to let them stay together. Preserving seemed to be the only option for the time
being.
They walked downstairs sadly, finding the old man slumped on a dusty, antique
couch. He frowned when he caught sight of the two men, although his eyes lit
with some hope as he noticed Ludwig.
"I've been considering this situation." The old man admitted "You may have
noticed that after you two had ran away, the house has been neglected for some
time. Funds have not been going too well, with nobody helping me out with the
bookwork." He shot an accusing glance at Gilbert "Your responsibility was to
work on the accounts and maintain the house, yet you ended up running away
instead. Because of your selfishness, our home is ruined. Now I want you to
stay and mend the damage. It's the least you can do after corrupting your
brother."
Gilbert frowned, yet he gave a reluctant nod. "Ja, I'll see what I can do."
"You'll have to try much harder than that." The old man scolded "Which leads me
to my next point. I plan to get rid of any distractions from you as you work
for me. You are never to see your brother again."
Ludwig's eyes shone viciously "Nein!" He shouted in disagreement "You can't
separate us! I won't let you." The German proceeded to strike at the old man,
but Gilbert grabbed hold of his hand. He signalled him to avoid hurting the
grandfather, for he knew that it would not solve any of their problems.
"Gilbert?"
The Prussian's blue eyes were filling with tears as he gazed at his younger
brother longingly, yet he turned back to the elderly man with obedience.
"As long as you don't hurt him, I'll do whatever it takes to solve the
financial situation." His words were cold and detached, as if he was reading
off a script. There was no emotion, for he was speaking against his will.
"Gut." The old man gave a satisfied nod and turned to Ludwig. "Now, as for you
I have decided to provide you with the opportunity for a lifetime. You may have
scars, but they are nowhere near as bad as Gilbert's. In fact, for a smart and
decent young man like you, I think that you should start your life afresh and
get married."
The words hit the German like a stab in the heart. He was so filled with rage
that he could not even bring himself to look at his grandfather "I refuse to do
this!" He yelled, "You cannot force me to marry someone I don't even love."
"But this will solve all our problems…" The old man insisted "Firstly, it will
prevent Gilbert from making any more mistakes, whilst you get to live happily,
the way that you were meant to. Gilbert is already far too tainted to have this
sort of lifestyle, so he will work for me until the very end. When you marry
this woman, you'll get the money that we need to restore the mansion." Grabbing
Ludwig's jaw so that he was staring directly in his eyes, he gave an
encouraging smile "Aren't you willing to at least help the family? It'll be
like Gilbert had never tainted you in the first place."
"Niemals!" Ludwig spat, turning roughly away from him "And I won't stand by and
let you insult my brother like that. We were better off without you. Why
couldn't you just die already?!"
At these words, the old man's features had darkened. To Gilbert's fear, it
seemed as if he was going to slap the German, but instead he had managed to
control himself. "Can't you hear yourself?" He asked, "He's already poisoned
you. But if you leave him now, you can put all this behind you. Please, Ludwig.
This is for your own good."
"My own good?!" Ludwig scoffed "How is this for my own good? This is for you,
Großvater. All for you. If you really had wanted me to be happy, then let me
stay with Gilbert."
"Es tut mir leid." The old man whispered, more to himself than to Ludwig. He
walked closer to the blond. Before Gilbert could do anything, he had drawn out
a syringe from his pocket and had pushed the needle deep into Ludwig's exposed
arm. The German cried out in pain and Gilbert tried to rush to his side, but
the old man blocked him. In a few seconds, Ludwig could feel his eyes getting
heavy as he fell to the floor.
"Ludwig!" Gilbert screamed "LUDWIG!"
"Don't come any closer!" The grandfather threatened, holding up the syringe
towards the albino. " This is just something that will put your brother to
sleep. If you want him to be safe, you will follow my every order. Or I'll
inject him with something far worse."
Tears fell from the Prussian's eyes as he looked at his unconscious brother. It
was his fault that all this had happened. He had no idea how much he would have
fallen for Ludwig, or how deeply Ludwig had fallen for him. Now, against either
of their wishes, they were about to be separated. Cursing inwardly, he had
begun to regret not following his brother's idea of running away while they had
a chance. If they had perished in the woods together, it would have been much
more desirable than living in completely different lives.
"Okay." He answered as he had finally calmed down and wiped away his tears
"I'll do everything you say. Just don't hurt my brother. Make sure that he has
a safe life."
To his desperation, he could see a glimmer of wicked triumph inside the elderly
man's blue eyes. Even though he was old, he had somehow thought very quickly
about the whole scenario. There was no way out now.
"It is your fault that your brother is like this. I'm going to help him
properly and guide him to the light, not allow you to pull him down into the
darkness with you." After he said this, he whistled through his fingers.
Two men walked into the room, dressed in suits. Their faces were obscured by
the shadows that their bowler hats were making. Each had grabbed Ludwig's arms
and carried him out of the mansion. Gilbert helplessly watched his brother
being taken away from him and could feel a lump rise in his throat. He didn't
want to see him go, not now, not ever.
"This is for your own good." The grandfather repeated. "Now if you follow my
every word, I'll do everything in my power to ensure Ludwig's safety."
Gilbert's eyes narrowed. He found that hard to believe, yet it would not make
any sense if his grandfather were to kill his favourite grandson. Slowly, he
followed the old man to the study, which was filled with cobwebs. It seemed so
strange to him that he would set foot in this room again so soon. Apart from
the dusty and isolated state of the room, it seemed as though he was back to
where he had started.
 
Meanwhile when Ludwig had finally awoken, he was lying on an expensive antique
bed. A man wearing a suit noticed the German open his eyes and began to grab
him.
"Get your hands off me!" He ordered. To his surprise, the man obeyed. Even
though he was awake, he was still feeling rather weak from the anaesthetic.
Everything else from the man and the bed was a distant blur. "Tell me where the
hell I'm located!"
"You're at a friend's house. The friend of your grandfather." The man answered
promptly "Here you will be taken care of until your wedding."
"I'm not going to get married." Ludwig answered curtly.
"Oh yes, you are." The man replied. "Now as much as I'd like to argue with you,
we really don't have a lot of time. Your grandfather really needs your
cooperation for this."
Rubbing his eyes, the German sat up straight. "Or what? What do you plan to do?
You have no power over me. I'm much stronger than you!" With that, he shoved
the man aside and made his way to the door. But as he opened it, another man
dressed in the same way as the one he had knocked down, blocked him.
"You can't get out here." The man threatened. In his hand was a walkie-talkie.
"If you try and escape, I'll tell your grandfather here…and who knows what
he'll do to your brother. Give up now, Herr Beilschmidt. Your strength is
useless here."
Ludwig gritted his teeth. He was trapped. "Very well then." He replied, "I
won't escape. But at least I'd like to know who the hell I'm being forced to
marry."
The other man closed the door and sat on an antique chair that was nearby.
"Your grandfather has been planning this marriage for sometime. He just didn't
realise that he'd need to put it to action, since you ran from him once
before." The man explained "But now that you are back, you must comply to his
orders…For Gilbert's sake as well as his." On the table next to him sat a pile
of dull looking papers that Ludwig had not noticed before. The man took the
papers and handed them over to the German.
"Here are all the things that you must be educated on about your future wife.
Her name is Ingrid Eberhardt, is a descendant from the wealthy aristocratic
Eberhardt family. She is about your age." Ludwig shifted through the papers
reluctantly, having little motivation to read any of them. Clipped to one of
the sheets was a photograph of a young woman, with long, dark hair and grey-
blue eyes. She was dressed in a long, elegant gown with some of the finest
jewels around her neck. But even though she was dressed so well, Ludwig did not
find her appearance all that remarkable. He couldn't appreciate her delicate
figure, or her endearing gaze.
"I'm not marrying this woman." He said rudely. "I don't care how rich she is or
whatever, but I refuse to spend the rest of my life as a miserable lie."
The two men looked shocked at Ludwig's words. "But Herr Beilschmidt, she's such
a lovely girl. You can't say that."
"I don't care!" Ludwig shouted "And stop calling me that. I do not want part in
this. Let me out!"
The other man took out his walkie-talkie "Well, if you really don't want to
follow orders, I'll press the red button and let your grandfather know. He'll
be so disappointed with his favourite grandson that he'll take it out on
Gilbert."
Ludwig's eyes widened at the thought of Gilbert being beaten by his
grandfather. He cringed slightly at the idea of making his brother suffer
because of his refusal.
I've already abandoned him once and he was abused severely because of me. I'm
not going to do this again. Ludwig thought.
"I'll follow this sick game." Ludwig decided "Satisfied?!"
"I think that will settle with Lord Beilschmidt just fine." The man said with a
smile that made Ludwig dislike him even more. "Now read these sheets and
tomorrow you'll get the chance to meet your future wife." Before Ludwig could
protest, the two men walked out of the room, locking the door behind them.
The German shook at the door, but despite his efforts it would not open. He
sighed and turned back to the sheets of paper and began to read them. One
thought went through his mind as he did so, encouraging him to continue.
I will do this for you, Gilbert. I will prevent you from being hurt anymore by
our Großvater, I promise you. I'm not doing this for anyone else but you.
After what had seemed like an eternity, he flung the sheets on the floor in
frustration, having read them all and curled up on the bed, defeated. Even
though it had only been a few hours since he had been taken away from Gilbert,
he missed his presence. He longed for the scarred hands to touch his shoulders
and for the silvery hair to brush against his cheek. His scent, his rare
smiles. Everything about him. How was he to survive without the person who had
meant so dear to him?
When will he ever see him again?
 
The next day, Ludwig was woken and then dressed into a suit that his
grandfather had sent for him. He did not like dressing in this way, but tried
to keep his temper as one of the servants did his tie for him. To his disgust,
a maid powdered thick foundation over his facial scar, causing his face to itch
uncomfortably. He gritted his teeth and remained still, constantly reminding
himself that he had to preform this duty for Gilbert. He could visualise his
brother, slumped on a bench in a dark room, crying as his back had received
more beatings. The image had been so vivid, it was as if he had been in the
room and witnessed the situation. He screwed his eyes shut, trying to push the
image out of his head.
I don't want you to be hurt anymore, Gilbert. I will get married to stop
Großvater from punishing you.
He repeated the vow in his head several times; hoping desperately that his
brother would be safe. A newfound hatred for his grandfather had formed. It was
bad enough that he had come back, but even after so many years, the old man was
still treating Gilbert abominably. Ludwig's blood boiled. He hated how helpless
he was in this situation and how Gilbert had to be punished over all the things
that the German also had a part in.
I'll get out of this madhouse. Ludwig thought with determination. And I'll come
for you. We'll escape from this place together and go to the forest, just like
we had planned.
After he was ready, he was taken to the next room, which was elaborately
decorated like an old Baroque palace. It was as if he had gone back in time,
and sadly he even felt like things had gone downhill to the way they were in
childhood. An old woman with white hair that was pinned up in a bun spun around
to face Ludwig for the first time. She addressed him with a smile, yet her eyes
were cold.
"So you're the grandson Werner has been telling me about. My name is Frau Bach.
I'm a childhood friend of your grandfather."
Ludwig nodded "Ja."
The old woman walked closer to him and scanned him from head to toe. He was
very attractive, apart from the slight scar that was on his cheek. Yet there
was something in his scarlet eyes, which had unsettled her. They were shining
viciously, even though the rest of his face had appeared so calm. She turned
away, still talking.
"Frau Eberhardt will be arriving here shortly. You'll need to be a gentleman.
Talk to her and get to know her. It's not everyday that a young man can marry
an aristocrat. Your grandfather, Werner has told me how much of a nice grandson
you are and how he's been eager for you to have a privileged life. Don't let
him down."
Her last words sounded like a threat, although her voice was fairly cordial.
Ludwig frowned and nodded slowly, holding back the urge to slap the old lady
across the face.
"I'll see what I can do, Frau Bach." Ludwig replied.
At her command, he sat down. Despite doing a good job in controlling his
temper, he was unable to hide his anxiety for Gilbert's safety. Both of his
hands started to tremble uncontrollably, which caught Frau Bach's attention.
"Don't be worried." The old lady assured him, mistaking the true reason of his
fear. "She's a lovely girl. I've had the pleasure to meet her at countless
waltzes in Vienna."
Ludwig rolled his eyes. How long must he endure this?
After a few minutes, there was a knock on the door. The old lady tapped the
German on the knee. "That's your cue to stand up." She said firmly.
As he rose to his feet, another servant in a bowler hat walked in. "Frau Bach,
Ludwig Beilschmidt…Frau Eberhardt is here." He then turned around and escorted
a young woman with dark hair and light eyes into the room. She had looked very
much like the way she did in her photo, only lovelier. Yet as Ludwig's eyes had
settled on her, he could not feel any affection for this woman. She had seemed
too delicate, almost doll-like. It was as if she wasn't even a human being.
"Guten Morgen, Herr Beilschmidt.." Ingrid greeted in a soft, wavering voice.
She held out her gloved hand and Ludwig looked baffled.
Frau Bach nudged the blond "You have to kiss her on the hand. What are you
waiting for?!"
Hesitating, he took her hand, sensing all eyes on him and gave a quick kiss on
the glove. The young woman seemed unfazed by his action and merely gave him a
stiff smile in return. They took their seats and Ludwig awkwardly stared at his
feet. He did not want to court this woman, let alone marry her, but as the
whole room waited for him to make the next move, he forced himself to open the
conversation.
"Um..Nice weather, isn't it?"
Ingrid gave a slight smile "Yes, yes it is." She agreed. Ingrid clearly looked
bored at the conversation and was reluctant to say more. This had made Ludwig's
role even more difficult to preform.
He thought about the sheets of paper that he had read about her yesterday,
although he could not remember a great deal of the information from them.
"So, you're from Munich…" Ludwig mumbled. "Is there anything you like about
it?"
"It's a nice place." Ingrid answered "Beautiful view. Big house. We live near
the Alps. Perhaps you would like to visit it someday?"
Ludwig groaned inwardly. Visiting a woman who he had barely knew and who could
not even hold a conversation for very long was the last thing he had wanted to
do. He was more desperate to visit the old mansion to see how Gilbert was. But
as Frau Bach glared at him from the corner of his eye, he gave a feeble answer.
"Oh…I'd love to."
The young woman smiled "I'm glad to hear it. Now how about you? What is it like
back in your place?"
A lot better than here, that's for sure. Ludwig answered silently.
"It's…Nice." Ludwig answered with difficulty "We have a big place too. And a
library as well."
"That's nice." Ingrid replied dully.
At this point, neither of them was going to get very far in their conversation.
Frau Bach stood up quickly and gestured at the window, desperate to make them
speak more.
"It's such a pleasant day." She said with a smile "Why don't you go for a walk
together in the grounds?" But even though she had sounded so enthusiastic and
cheerful, her eyes turned cold towards Ludwig once more.
Don't let him down.
"Okay," Ludwig gave in "Let's go outside." He walked towards the door and down
the corridor, not even fully aware of where he was going. Ingrid walked a
little faster to catch up with him, yet she was far too timid to tell him to
slow down. Once he had reached what had looked like the front door, he opened
it and stepped into the yard.
They walked together for a while, both not even speaking. Ingrid sighed and
turned to the quiet man.
"You don't say a lot, do you?" She asked.
Ludwig shrugged, so she persisted, not really expecting him to answer.
"Well, I'm nervous too." The young woman admitted, "I'm not even ready to get
married myself. But I can't complain though. You do seem like a pleasant
choice."
Ludwig blushed, completely taken aback by the unexpected compliment, "Danke..."
he replied shyly.
"In fact, my parents told me that I had to marry you once I had grown up. They
were good friends with your grandfather."
Who would want to be friends with that monster?! Ludwig thought in disgust.
As they continued walking in the garden, the girl picked up a rose. Ludwig
remembered reading that it was her favourite flower, yet he didn't remark on
it.
"My parents also told me how you had a brother when you were young, but he was
killed in an accident. I'm so sorry for your loss." She placed her free hand on
Ludwig's arm, but he pulled away in anger.
"MY BROTHER IS NOT DEAD!" He shouted at her. Ingrid's grey eyes widened,
shocked at the sudden outburst, but also confused.
"What..what are you saying?" She asked nervously, thinking that it was merely
grief that was causing his denial. Ingrid was beginning to regret telling her
future husband this fact.
"He's not dead." Ludwig repeated in a quieter voice "My grandfather likes to
think he is, though." Behind the hedges, he pulled her closer to him,
frightened that there were people who could hear their conversation. "This is
all a set up." He whispered to her urgently "I have to marry you, or else he'll
punish him. But please, don't tell anyone I told you this."
"I don't believe this for a second." Ingrid replied with certainty, although
her expression seemed so puzzled.
Ludwig gazed back at her in panic, his scarlet eyes bright with anxiety. It
must have been the first time Ingrid had ever seen a man look so worried that
the sight seemed to frighten her. Yet the one thing that was so clear to her
was that he was not making any of this up.
"You have to believe me..." Ludwig begged in a whisper, "For the sake of
Gilbert."
Ingrid looked even more perplexed, but she nodded slowly. Nothing made sense to
her, but she knew that she would only sound mad if she questioned this with her
parents or Frau Bach.
"So you don't actually want to marry me?" She asked sadly. Her eyes turned to
the ground and Ludwig began to feel guilty.
"Nein…Es tut mir leid."
She stared at him in disbelief; her eyes filled with tears "Well if this is
really true, then I want no part in it." She said sternly. With that, she
turned around and walked back to the house, determined to tell Frau Bach the
truth.
"Don't go!" Ludwig shouted. He chased after her and grabbed hold of her arm.
"Please. Don't tell anyone about this. If you do, my grandfather…he might." As
he said this, his voice became shaky and he blinked several times to avoid
crying. Ingrid turned around, baffled by the man's sadness. She placed a hand
on his shoulder in comfort.
"You really care about your brother, don't you?" She asked.
Ludwig nodded and pulled from her grasp. He knew how much he had cared for
Gilbert, but the question had only made him realise how much he had really
loved him. He was on the verge of tears and was worried that she would notice
this brief moment of weakness. Even though she had spoken the truth, he still
found it difficult to trust her. The blond turned back to the house. "We should
get going." He said hurriedly. "And keep quiet about this, understood?"
She nodded obediently, knowing that she was powerless in this situation. Ingrid
realised that if she did told Frau Bach the truth, there was always the risk
that the woman would not believe her. It seemed at that moment that everything
her parents had told her was a lie, but at the same time she was relieved that
her future husband was just as unwilling to marry as she was. If Werner was
really capable of hurting his own grandson, then she did not want to see what
could happen if she had confessed.
"Ja, you have my word." She answered softly. But Ludwig did not hear her. He
was already walking far away from her, not even bothering to look back. Glumly,
she followed him back inside.
 
Meanwhile at the old mansion, Gilbert was sitting at the desk, furiously making
calculations and filling out all the bookwork that Werner had assigned him to
do. It was the only thing he could do to block out the pain that was stinging
on his back. Even though he had obeyed his grandfather to begin with, earlier
on he was caught trying to escape. Werner issued him with several lashing as a
punishment and furthermore had locked all the windows and doors. The Prussian
was desperate to see Ludwig, but the old man continued to beat him until he was
forced to get back to work.
"Gilbert! Make me a cup of tea." Werner ordered. "Sofort!"
The albino quickly got up and went to the kitchen, biting his lip to ignore the
pain. After he had done so, he gave the cup to the old man without a word.
Werner took the tea from the Prussian. As he sipped it, his face turned all red
and he threw the cup onto the floor, smashing the ceramic into several pieces.
Gilbert backed away, horrified.
"WHAT IS THIS DISGUSTING DRINK? Are you trying to kill me, you fool?!" He
bellowed.
Gilbert shook his head quickly "I'm sorry, Großvater! How can I improve the
tea?"
Pointing at the spilled tea, the old man continued to yell, "Clean up this
mess." He demanded "And then, I want you to taste the tea and see how you can
improve it. MOVE IT!"
The Prussian got out a dustpan and brush before getting on his knees to sweep.
As one of his hands carelessly touched one of the shards, he noticed a new cut
beginning to form. Crimson dripped from his hand, mixing in with the spilled
tea.
"Actually.." Werner added, his eyes shining brightly as his voice took on a
malicious tone "I want you to taste this for yourself. Now! Lick all the tea
from the floor. You'll be able to clean the floor and taste the tea at the same
time."
Gilbert looked at the spill hesitantly.
"I meant what I said. You're too dirty and tainted to do anything else. Do you
want me to beat you again? Lick up the tea now!"
"Yes, Großvater!" Gilbert answered dutifully. His lips began to touch the now
cold tea and he shivered in disgust. But still, he began to lap the tea from
the floor. It tasted strangely salty, especially with his own blood added to
the tea. He continued licking as tears welled in his eyes. The old man stood
by, watching the young man and making sure that every drop was gone.
"That's all you're ever good for." Werner said nastily, placing a hand on the
Prussian's back mockingly "Like a dog. You're much too filthy for anyone, and
so that's all you'll ever be." He pulled at his silvery hair, causing Gilbert
to cry softly in pain. "And I hope that you stay that way…Far away from my
grandson."
Without another word, the old man was out of the room, leaving the Prussian
alone with the dustpan. Seeing that he was completely out of earshot, he began
to weep, quiet but angry weeps. Maybe Werner was right…perhaps he really was
too dirty for Ludwig.
Why do I love you so much, bruder? Gilbert thought angrily you're much too good
for me.
I'm no good for anyone…
That evening, Gilbert headed off to bed miserably. He lay for a while, unable
to go to sleep even though he was exhausted. The emptiness of the bed had felt
incredibly disconcerting, as if a piece of the Prussian was missing as well. He
longed for Ludwig to be lying by his side, yet under these circumstances he
knew that it would be impossible. Turning on his side, he stared at a piece of
fabric that lay on the edge of the bed. He reached for the material and held
it, wondering what it was. It felt soft, with a distinct, familiar aroma.
Events from the night before began to flicker through his mind.
It was the blindfold. The one that he had put on Ludwig to prevent him from
seeing his body. Tears came to his eyes once more as he sat and wrapped the
material around his hand, his fingertips treasuring the material. Perhaps, this
would be the last thing he would ever have to remind him of his brother, their
game and their night together.
Gilbert wound the blindfold around his wrist and tied it tightly. Even though
the German was no longer going to be around, he still wanted to have some sign
of his brother close by. At least, with the blindfold securely tied to his
body, he would never forget him.
He closed his eyes and nestled his face against the material, breathing in the
musky, sweet, but innocent aroma. Some form of Ludwig had still remained, even
though he was intangible. Despite all the beatings and the sense of
hopelessness before, he knew that nothing could change his feelings or to take
away the events from that night. On the verge of sleep, a single significant
feeling clouded his awareness. The one strong thought that had overpowered all
of his vulnerability.
Ich liebe dich, Ludwig.
 
On the other side of town, the blond, red-eyed German lay alone in his bed.
Even though the bed was so large and grand, it was uncomfortably lonely. It
felt wrong, lying on such soft sheets while he could sense that his brother was
being punished for something that could not be helped. He had taken off his
clothes to free himself from the stuffy, overly frilly white pyjamas that were
supplied for him. They seemed to suffocate him. The only thing that he had
wanted to touch his body was the scarred flesh of his brother. Naked and
lonely, a familiar, sinful hunger filled him. He ran his hands over his body,
imagining that it was Gilbert's hands touching him instead. Silently, he
fondled himself, trying hard to suppress his moans. With closed eyes, it was
almost like the night before while he was being blindfolded. Yet it just wasn't
the same. After a few moments of bliss, he had opened his eyes to a lonely,
empty room. The thought of spending another miserable night like this was
difficult to come to terms with. For a while, he was back in the forest with
Gilbert. It was when they had played hide and seek before his body was suddenly
aching for the Prussian, and how the older man had teased him and stopped him
from touching himself.
...I want to be the only person who can fulfill you.
The wicked smile was still in his mind as he remembered those words. But
without hearing Gilbert's voice speaking them, the words had seemed so hollow.
Nevertheless, he still obeyed them.
Even though he had finished touching himself, Ludwig was still unsatisfied. He
wanted more and he knew that his brother would be the only person who could
give it to him. The pleasure-filled caresses meant nothing without Gilbert's
love attached to them.
Gilbert...Ich vermisse dich.
A few days later, the German was staring out of the window, wondering how his
brother was. Even though he was following all his duties, which prepared him
for the wedding, he was still not allowed to leave the vicinity. With his head
in his hands, he wondered how much longer he could stand this torment. These
past few days had involved etiquette and dancing lessons, along with memorising
the numerous papers of Ingrid's favourite things.
"You are very privileged to marry such a high-classed woman. Now you must
improve your manners to become the perfect husband." Frau Bach would harp.
Ludwig tried to follow her instructions, yet he would feel so uncomfortable
afterwards. It seemed as if he was being trained to move further away from his
brother and more towards a woman that he was not interested in. Ingrid did very
little to entertain him, being as reluctant as he was about the marriage. But
today she had seemed more cooperative.
"Herr Beilschmidt…"
Ingrid's soft voice interrupted his thoughts, causing him to look up. Meeting
her grey-blue eyes, he gave an embarrassed cough.
"Ja?"
"You were miles away…I was just asking you to practice dancing with me."
Ludwig looked disappointed at the request. But then, what else did he expect?
He did not want to dance with her. He just wasn't in the mood for it. But he
remembered the sad look in his brother's eyes from the last time he had seen
him before being taken away. It hurt him to remember Gilbert so distressed, yet
if he had decided to go against Ingrid's request, the Prussian might be
punished again.
"Certainly." Ludwig answered, as calmly as he could muster. They walked to the
centre of the room began to waltz. The German unwillingly put his hands on the
woman's waist, which was much too small for it to be natural. If he had held
onto her any tighter, he was afraid that she might break. As the music began to
play, Ludwig was still very clumsy on his feet, although his dancing had
improved since he had started lessons. Ingrid giggled at his bulky moves and
pulled him closer.
"You're much too robotic. Relax a little. Be looser." She whispered. Ludwig
gave a huff and tried to follow her advice. But with his mind still filled with
anxiety for his brother, it seemed too difficult to relax. All his body
movements felt as if some unseen force was controlling them. He was a puppet
whose anxiety had stiffened the strings. Yet he still persisted, as his concern
for Gilbert fuelled his actions.
They continued for about another thirty minutes until the German was much too
weary to continue. As he fell on the couch, he could feel Ingrid's slender body
in close proximity to his while she joined him. Ludwig felt uncomfortable as
his personal space was being invaded, but he kept silent.
"Are you okay?" A hand rested on his shoulder and he looked up to see Ingrid
smiling back at him.
Seeing that nobody else was in the room, Ludwig decided to answer her
truthfully. "No, why would I be?"
Ingrid looked hurt at his curt response "I'm just concerned, that's all. You
just seem so quiet and unwilling to do anything. Please, try and make an
effort." While she said this, her hand squeezed his shoulder affectionately,
the action enough to make his blood boil. It was bad enough that he had to obey
to all the activities that he disliked, but it was even worse to be ordered
around by a person that was now going to be with him for the rest of his life.
He wanted to yell, scream…even hit her. But as his eyes fell on the doll-like
woman, he knew that such actions would be forbidden.
If he had looked at her even more, he would probably be unable to control
himself. The sight of her angered him. She was so fragile but powerful at the
same time. Even though Ingrid had been reluctant to marry him, she had seemed
so indifferent to his suffering. It also disgusted him that she was already
acting like his wife and ordering him around. The smile and the close contact
was all an act that he didn't want to play in. In his fury, he couldn't even
see the difference between Werner and Ingrid. Both of them had made him
miserable.
He found himself outside before he could even make any more sense of his
thoughts. Ludwig strolled around the garden for a while until his temper had
cooled down substantially. He needed to be alone and away from Ingrid…Away from
anyone who got in his way. It was not all the woman's fault, yet he still felt
that she was somewhat responsible.
Once he had returned, Ingrid was already gone. Frau Bach was sitting in her
place, peering down at him disapprovingly.
"That was very rude of you to leave Frau Eberhardt." The old lady remarked.
"Didn't you learn anything since your arrival?!"
"Entschuldigung." Ludwig muttered.
"An apology to me doesn't solve anything. You must apologise to Frau Eberhardt
as soon as she comes back. There is still so much work that you must do before
the wedding." Her eyes narrowed as she scrutinised him from head-to-toe "Your
posture is atrocious. And your tie is not straight." She criticised "Why aren't
you even trying?"
"I've had enough of this!" Ludwig snapped, turning to the door. But the old
woman continued to yell back at him as if he had not spoken.
"You're abusing such a wonderful opportunity. Do you want me to tell your
grandfather about your current failures?" She shouted, "Because I will! And
he'll beat your brother alive." Her eyes shone viciously as she said this that
Ludwig gulped in fear. He lurched forward to strike her, leaving a stubborn red
mark in its place. Even though it was such an instinctive action, he felt so
regretful.
"How..How dare you!" Frau Bach gasped. Ludwig backed away in defence, but the
two men in bowler hats were immediately behind him. He tried to leave the room,
but a fist swung at his head, knocking him out instantly. One of the men
attempted to continue beating him, but Frau Bach raised her hand as a signal to
stop him.
"That won't be necessary." She said, "We want Herr Beilschmidt to look his best
before this wedding. Just send him to his room without supper. That'll teach
him a lesson." The old woman placed a hand to her face, which was still burning
from the slap. It was hard to believe that such power had emanated from a
regular human being. But of course, she had no idea that Ludwig was no ordinary
man. There were many things that she did not know about him. All she knew was
that he had seemed promising enough to make this marriage arrangement work.
Werner had asked for her help not so long ago, and if the marriage was a
success, she was promised a fair share of the fortune. As a result, she had to
ensure that the marriage would go ahead.
"Don't starve him for too long though." The woman called out in warning as she
planned for the next lesson "He must have enough strength for the other
lessons."
The bowl-hatted men nodded in unison and quickly carried the unconscious Ludwig
out of the room.
 
When Ludwig had finally woken up, he was back in his room once more. The first
thing he had noticed was the dull ache in his head and the sudden dimness of
the room. Judging from the dryness of his lips, it must have been several hours
since he had been knocked unconscious. He rose from his bed steadily and walked
over to the door, desperate for a drink of water. As he had turned the handle
forcefully, the door did not budge. He pushed at the door, but it still
remained shut. Realising that there was nowhere out of the door, he tried the
window. As he ran his fingers around the edge of the pane, he could feel the
cool evening air against his skin. He sighed in relief as he thought of a way
that he could escape. Carefully, he pushed against the glass, causing the gap
to widen. He continued slowly, careful to not make any noises to alert the rest
of the mansion. After he had done so, he was climbing out of the window.
Beneath him was a long leap to the ground, yet he did not hesitate to jump
down, landing safely on his feet. Out of the house, he walked quickly towards
the water fountain, looking around to make sure that the guards were nowhere in
sight. To his amazement, the yard was empty.
After he had a drink, he began to wonder how Gilbert was dealing at the house.
After the way he had been treated, it worried him that Gilbert was probably
suffering a much worse predicament than Ludwig. Since he was outdoors, it was
the perfect opportunity to sneak out and find the house. The idea was
ludicrous, of course. He had no clue of where he was, or how far away the old
mansion was, but thinking about it, this was probably one of the only chances
that he would ever see his brother again.
Ludwig climbed over the fence swiftly, narrowly missing the pointed spikes that
jutted out from the top, warning him to stay in. Once on the other side, he
scanned around the lane, his eyes straining to find some familiar landmark. He
instinctively walked down towards the forest for a while, until he had made it
to the nearest street. It was a long walk and he could hear his breath becoming
more haggard with every step, but he refused to give up. The need to see his
brother gave him more strength to continue his journey. As he continued
walking, he began to recognise where he was. It was the very street that the
German brothers* had been raised in. After several minutes of walking, he had
reached the other side of the forest, where the old mansion was. It was still
as grey and run down as the last time he had visited it.
He spied Gilbert's window instantly, which was still slightly hidden by the
leaves of straggly tree that grew nearby. Climbing up the tree with the agility
like a cat, he had reached the windowsill.
"Bruder!" Ludwig called, placing his hand on the window to open it. To his
dismay, it was locked.
At first, the room was silent but then he could see Gilbert's pale form glowing
in the dark as he walked closer to the window. The Prussian stared back at
Ludwig with wide eyes. He rubbed his eyes, making sure that he wasn't dreaming,
but to his joy, Ludwig was still there.
"Ludwig…is that you?" Gilbert asked in disbelief. He tried to open the window,
but it was also locked from the inside. "I'm sorry, I can't get out of here."
The German placed his hands on the glass and leaned as close as he possibly
could. "If I could, I'd break this window open for you."
Gilbert shook his head, looking worried at Ludwig's offer "No, we'll wake
Großvater up." As he stood closer to the window, the moonlight shone on his
face, revealing a dark bruise on his left eye.
"Oh…" Ludwig was shocked at the bruise. He was suddenly furious "Did he do this
to you?!"
"What do you think?" Gilbert asked in irritation. But as he saw the concern in
Ludwig's eyes, he looked back at him apologetically. "Es tut mir leid. I've
just had a terrible day. But enough about me. How have they been treating you
over there, bruder? Hopefully it has been better over there than here."
The German smiled "I'm fine. At least, for now. But I hate all these stupid
lessons and I'm not even interested in Ingrid."
"Ingrid? Is that your new wife?"
"Yeah, unfortunately." Ludwig answered in distaste. "I don't want to marry her,
Gilbert. If I spend another day there, I'll go mad."
Gilbert placed hands on the glass, directly in front of the blond's "Please,
just go through with it for another week. Once you get the money, we'll be
freed from Großvater's orders." The German frowned, but he nodded finally. Just
one more week and it'll all be over. He knew that he could rely on what his
brother was saying. It was the most sensible option after all. Nothing that
Gilbert had said could ever disappoint him.
"I miss you.." Ludwig whispered. He leaned his head against the glass, the
desire to kiss the Prussian overwhelming him. "Bitte, Gilbert…" Tracing his
hand over where Gilbert's face was, he stared into his eyes with desire "..I
know I can't touch you, because of this damn piece of glass, but please..Let me
kiss you."
Blue eyes filled with tears, Gilbert nodded. He placed a hand to where Ludwig's
hair was, stroking the glass. "Don't say anymore, you fool. You'll make me
cry." To the German's relief, he kissed the glass, as close to Ludwig's lips as
possible. A tear slid down one of his scars and he turned away, unable to look
at his brother. "Go," He warned, "I don't want you to get into trouble. You
stay safe and follow orders."
Ludwig nodded, upset that the Prussian's head was turned. But he understood why
he was behaving this way. It hurt him too much to stare at his lover without
even being able to hold him in his arms. Ludwig still did not know that Gilbert
was blaming himself for the way the situation was. If he had ran away with him
to begin with, there would be no glass to separate them. Still, he had to
follow the duty that was assigned to him, as long as their grandfather was
still alive.
"I love you." Ludwig said quietly, his voice shaky. Gilbert placed a hand over
his face, hiding his tears. Without another word, he was walking back into the
shadows, leaving the German alone on the branch once more. He waited by his bed
until Ludwig had left. Once he was sure that he was gone, he wept silently,
staring at the space by the window where Ludwig was. Under his breath, he
uttered a statement that he was unable to bring himself to say earlier. It was
too difficult to admit the truth to him when he knew that their situation was
dire.
"…I love you too.."
 
Thankfully the German had arrived back to his room before anyone had woken up.
But since the journey was so long, he did not have many hours of sleep left.
Yet Ludwig was not tired. His mind was filled with anxiety for Gilbert from the
brief moment they shared at the window. Would they ever have a moment like that
again? What if their grandfather ended up hearing their conversation? He felt
tense thinking about it. It was already so dangerous to escape from his room
and meet Gilbert. If Ludwig was caught, he knew that the punishment would be
minor but Gilbert would get the worst end. Pulling the blanket over him, he
finally shut his eyes and tried to sleep. The last image that flitted into his
mind was the sad, teary eyes of the Prussian before he had turned away from
him.
Ludwig longed for the chance when he could escape and see the Prussian again,
without any barrier between him. This longing for freedom was growing day by
day, but it was the only spark of hope he had for enduring the lessons that he
had despised.
The end of the week was getting closer, yet it had seemed to be dragging on for
so long. Ludwig kept peering out of the window or through the fence, anxious to
catch a glimpse of his brother. But Gilbert was still busy doing tasks for
Werner, trying not to make the old man angry. While Ludwig forced himself to
walk and speak to Ingrid, Gilbert was maintaining the mansion. On this
particular day, Ingrid wanted to have a picnic in the grounds with him. They
walked outside and sat on the grass, not even speaking to each other. After a
long silence, Ingrid finally spoke.
"You know, it's not so bad." She remarked, staring into the landscape "I could
get used to this married life."
Ludwig kept his eyes downcast, annoyed at her positive tone. Ingrid moved
closer to him, resting a hand on his shoulder. He flinched slightly, but
allowed it to stay, knowing that he would get into trouble for rejecting her
advances. Slowly, she placed a hand on his and stared into his crimson eyes.
Ludwig recognised the expression in her eyes and immediately felt sad. The
woman was really fond of him, and he could see it clearly. It was the same look
that Gilbert had given him many times before. But he knew that it would be
impossible to reciprocate her feelings.
"Most of the men I've spoken to during the dances are always grabbing me and
trying to seduce me. But you don't seem to be like that. You're different…" Her
dainty hand stroked his large, strong one, which was inside a glove to hide his
scars. The words were warm and the gesture was gentle, but Ludwig still felt
cold and remorseful, completely unmoved by her.
"Have you ever been in love before, Ludwig?"
The question stunned him, but he sighed. It was to be expected. She liked him
and was generally curious about the German. He had to get used to that. But she
was still a child in his eyes, too innocent to comprehend what was going on. He
still could not trust her enough to answer her question. If he had told her,
she would probably despise him greatly, just as Werner had despised Gilbert.
"…I rather not talk about it." Ludwig said truthfully, moving his hand away.
Ingrid looked disappointed, but her smile returned.
"I've never been in love myself." She said openly, changing the subject to
lessen the discomfort between them "But I think that it would be wonderful.
Every book I've read seems to detail how beautiful it is. I never really
appreciated it, but now I sort of understand what they are getting at." To his
surprise, she rested her head against his shoulder. Ludwig closed his eyes,
wishing that it were Gilbert's head on his shoulder instead. Yet her soft, long
hair felt nothing like the Prussian's fine, silver strands. The gesture made
Ludwig miss him even more.
"You can't believe everything you read." Ludwig muttered, before getting up and
walking away. The young woman stood and pondered for a moment, confused as well
as feeling rejected.
Was he refused love? She wondered or did someone leave him? It was hard to say.
Ludwig did not seem willing to express his feelings. Still, she followed him
inside the house, trying to make sense of his words. The man was a mystery, but
it was his quiet nature that made her so interested in him. From the time they
had first met, Ingrid was starting to feel more and more comfortable around the
German. Perhaps being married wouldn't be so bad after all. Yet she was still
much too shy to think of him in a romantic way. She wanted to get to know him
more, but every time she asked him something, he would always turn away or give
her short, vague answers. Even if she were to fall for him, would he love her
too?
The German sighed as he recalled what he had said to Ingrid a moment ago, for
it was also a lie. He did believe everything he had read. He remembered the
time when he used to read fairytales in the library, likening Gilbert to the
ideal, silver-haired prince. There was a longing desire from such an early age
to live happily ever after with this prince forever. It was an innocent, but a
forbidden feeling, since it was wrong to love his own brother. Still, he had
hoped that someday Gilbert would feel the same and return the feelings that he
had for him. Even though this did come true, Ludwig felt that this love was
snatched from them cruelly, based on what his grandfather had expected. Nothing
had broken his heart more than being refused to follow his dream. Silently, he
sat at the chair and listened to Frau Bach's irritating orders and tried to
practice using cutlery like a gentleman. He was slowly improving in his
lessons, yet as he continued with them, he could not stop thinking about how
Gilbert was back in their home. As long as he had worked hard and did
everything right, little harm would come to the Prussian.
To his dismay, Frau Bach reminded him there was a waltz to be held in the
evening. Ludwig closed his eyes, hoping that he could muster enough strength to
get through with it. She grabbed a hold of his arm and glared straight into his
red eyes viciously.
"You better give her the best dance you ever can. Make sure that you really
sweep her off her feet."
"Ja, Frau Bach." Ludwig answered tiredly.
She clutched onto his arm tightly, causing him to gasp in pain. "I'm warning
you, Ludwig. Everything you do, or don't do I will tell to your grandfather. So
don't disappoint him."
Even though Ludwig had now been accustomed to the old woman's threats, he
couldn't help but to feel a little scared. A bead of sweat fell from his
forehead and he was suddenly shaking even though it was a reasonably warm day.
This was a major responsibility that he could not afford to fail.
 
Back at the house, Gilbert had finished scrubbing the floor and was packing all
the cleaning equipment away. Werner had left him alone for most of the day,
perhaps doing some duties in town or negotiating with Frau Bach about the
marriage arrangement. But when he went to his room to undress and get ready for
bed, his eyes fell on the blindfold that was tied around his wrist. The scent
of Ludwig still lingered, although it was not as strong as before. To Gilbert's
fear, he had hoped that Ludwig's feelings for him hadn't faded either. He lay
on the bed, still dressed and tried to sleep for a few minutes, but his mind
was still filled with worry. Finally, he climbed out of the bed, his heart
pounding as an idea came to him: He would go and see the German again.
Scrutinising the room, he thought carefully about how he was going to escape
unnoticed from the mansion. Even though the window was locked, he was still
able to walk out of his room. As he did so, he kept his wits about him,
straining to hear Werner snoring or walking around. If he was caught, he
decided that he would just say that he was getting a glass of water.
On the far end of the corridor, he could hear the sheets ruffling slightly as
Werner stirred in his sleep. Gilbert crept to the door, daring himself to check
on his grandfather. He shook slightly as he saw the old man mutter to himself
in his sleep, but was slightly relieved that he was not going to wake up any
time soon. But as he was about to walk away, he heard a gasp. Sweating, he
turned around slowly but Werner's eyes were still shut. The old man was
probably having a nightmare.
Sighing, he walked out of the room and downstairs. The old stairs creaked under
his weight and he cursed inwardly, hoping that he was not heard. Werner's
breathing became even heavier so he had to slow down to avoid making any more
noise. Then, after making his way down the corridor, he had his hand on the
doorknob and turned it. To his surprise, it was unlocked and he was walking
down the yard. He could not believe his luck. The man continued walking through
the forest and then disappeared into the evening fog.
 
Meanwhile on the other side of town, Ludwig was standing in the ballroom,
tensely tugging on his bow tie. He had been waiting for a while for Ingrid to
arrive. It made him more anxious that she was late and he was quickly losing
his nerve to dance with her. The room was fast filling up with many different
people, probably all aristocrats or distant relatives. He could not find anyone
he knew. He felt like a fool, hoping to find Gilbert among all the people in
the crowd. The albino was probably still trapped in the house, doing chores.
Hurry up, Ingrid.
As if his thoughts were being read, the young woman was walking in, looking
very flustered for being so late. She spotted Ludwig instantly and united with
him.
"I am so sorry for my tardiness." Ingrid apologised "There seemed to be a hold-
up with the traffic." Taking his arm, she smiled and led him to the centre of
the room. She slipped her hand onto his shoulder and drew in close. "You look
very handsome tonight." She added.
Ludwig gave an embarrassed cough and looked down. "You look nice yourself." He
added awkwardly.
Ingrid beamed. She did look very stunning in her long, blue gown, which
shimmered under the light of the enormous chandelier. Her long, brownish hair
was plaited and pinned up elegantly, contrasting significantly with her light-
coloured eyes. He held her small waist gently as they moved to the music. They
continued dancing for a while and he was careful not to step on her feet.
Finally, they took their seats for a short rest.
"Would you like a drink?" Ingrid asked him politely "I must say that I'm quite
parched after that."
"Nein, danke." Ludwig replied, still too worried to relax and enjoy himself.
Ingrid got up and walked to the bar. When she sat down, another man took a seat
nearby.
"Guten Abend, Fräulein."
She turned around to see a tall, slender man with dark hair. Even though she
had never met him before, he was dressed in the same way that most of the
aristocratic men were in the room.
"Guten Abend. And who might you be?"
"The name is Herr Otto von Zerner." He said with a smile, green eyes shining "I
believe that my parents have spoken about your family, Frau Eberhardt. We seem
to be in similar social circles."
Ingrid was relieved. At least he was a family friend. "Well, it's a pleasure to
meet you." She replied.
"As to you. I never realised that the Eberhardt women were so pretty."
She blushed "Why, thank you…Herr Zerner. Do you say this to every woman you
meet?"
The man laughed "Only to the ones who are worth the compliment. Now, would you
like something to drink?"
"Perhaps just a small glass of champagne." She said modestly "I don't want to
make a fool of myself here."
"Excuse me!" Otto called out to the barman "I'd like a stein of schnapps and
some champagne for the lady here." When the barman had prepared the drinks,
Otto toasted Ingrid's glass.
"Prost."
After she had her drink, Otto began to speak to her about his family's estate
and his fortune. Normally she had found such bragging as irritating, yet the
man seemed to have a certain charm to him that most of the other men she had
been around didn't have. Even Ludwig lacked such charisma. He offered her
another drink and she slowly felt herself becoming more confident with every
sip. Otto also seemed to be rather attractive with his dark, Bavarian features.
For a moment, she wondered what it would be like to lead an exciting live with
such a man.
"I've been all over the world." Otto continued, "You should see the distant
islands of the east. They are really quite beautiful."
Ingrid nodded, staring into his emerald gaze "I'm sure they are…" She slurred,
not even realising how tipsy she was getting.
"I can take you there, if you like." Otto grinned, his voice strangely husky as
he moved closer "In fact, I can take you anywhere you like. You just have to
say the word."
"And what word do you want me to say? Tell me, meine liebe…I'd be very curious
to know."
Just as he had placed his hand on her waist, she leaned in, overwhelmed by the
strong, masculine aroma of aftershave. Before she could think about it, her
hands were on his buttons, fiddling them to tease him "Go on, tell me the
word."
Otto placed a hand on her face as his lips began to meet hers, but just as they
had touched, there was a shout that had made them jolt.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?!"
Ingrid looked up to see Ludwig frowning at them. "Oh hey, Ludwig." She greeted
informally, still intoxicated "How are you?"
"Don't ask stupid questions." Ludwig shot in distaste. He turned to the man,
angry that he had let the girl get as drunk as she did. If Frau Bach had known
about this, he did not want to think about how much he or Gilbert would be
punished. He was furious for leaving her alone for so long. Even though he did
not love her, he still felt slightly protective over her, like an older
brother. "Ingrid, come with me." He ordered.
Otto laughed, "Why would she want to go with you? She clearly has an interest
in me. Besides, why are you giving me orders?"
"Frau Eberhardt is my fiancé!" He shouted. For a moment, he had wanted to punch
the man for taking advantage of such a timid girl, but knew that violence would
only lead to more trouble. Without much ado, he grabbed her arm and pulled her
away.
Once they were alone, Ingrid looked baffled at what the German had shouted.
"Did you really mean what you had said earlier? That I'm your fiancé?"
Ludwig nodded gravely "Well, yes. I am marrying you."
Ingrid stared at him, transfixed. "Oh, Ludwig…" She swooned "You are such a
gentleman. Thank you for saving me." After he had taken her from Otto, she was
suddenly so grateful for his protection. Before he could respond, she stumbled
towards him and proceeded to kiss him on the mouth. Ludwig could taste the
alcohol on her breath. The kiss was so clumsy and inexperienced that he felt
extremely repulsed. He pushed her away, horrified at her rash behaviour.
"Stop it!" He snapped "Stop it right now!"
"Oh come on, Ludwig..." Ingrid giggled, tugging his shoulders "You love it.
Don't be afraid by a kiss from your future wife…Looks like we'll be prepared
before the wedding." She slipped up the hem of her dress suggestively, eying at
him eagerly. "Come on, my love. Take me here."
"Snap out of it!" He scolded. But still, her lips tried to seek his. Out of
impulse, he slapped her on the cheek.
Ingrid backed away, shocked. Suddenly, the German wished that he had not done
that. He was so speechless and ashamed with his action that he was running out
of the room, faster than his legs could carry him.
He ran through the grounds, tears streaming down his face.
"Scheiße!" Ludwig cried to himself, running between the hedges. He wanted to
escape from the place, to reverse everything he had done. But what he had
wanted to do, more than anything was to be far away from this place, back with
his brother where he had truly belonged. Legs aching from the great distance he
had covered, he finally stopped, panting loudly.
To the far right, he could see a glowing, cloaked figure. Because his tears had
made everything so blurry, he assumed that it was just a sculpture. He wept
again, realising how lonely he truly was.
But the German was greatly mistaken, for the sculpture was not a sculpture at
all. The figure stood up quickly and walked towards him, peering worriedly at
the sobbing man.
"Ludwig…Oh Ludwig, don't cry."
He felt his heart stop as he had heard the familiar voice. In all his fury and
melancholy, he thought that he was going mad. But the other person held him
tightly in his arms, breaking away his assumption. After Ludwig had stopped
crying, he looked directly into his brother's eyes, so thankful that he was
with him once more. He noticed that the bruise on Gilbert's eye was fading
away.
"Gilbert, I can't do this." He admitted sadly, "No matter how hard I try, I
always mess everything up." Without any hesitation, he told the Prussian
exactly what had happened that evening, as well as the way the young woman had
always acted towards him. "I don't want to marry her, I don't want to sleep
with her…I just don't know what to do. I'm not ready for this."
He was about to cry again, but the Prussian's cold hand touched his cheek,
causing the foundation to come off, revealing his scar. The caress was
comforting and the tears ceased.
"You are ready for this, Ludwig." Gilbert smiled encouragingly "You've been
doing your lessons well so far and Ingrid really likes you. If you are worried
about taking this woman, it's just like how we had done in our game."
"But I don't want to do this. Not with her." Ludwig complained "She's so
fragile and skinny…I'll probably break her in half." He felt so hopeless and
ridiculous saying all of this, but Gilbert listened to him understandably, not
even judging his fears. He placed a hand on Ludwig's back, giving him a small
smile.
"If that's what you're so afraid of, don't be. Remember, as long as you marry
her, we can get the money and leave…just be like a gentleman. I'm sure that it
won't be so hard for you now."
Ludwig gave a slight chuckle "Come on, bruder. It's not that simple. I’ve never
been with a woman before. It's just so different."
Gilbert stroked his face, blue eyes meeting red "Then, why don't I show you how
it is done? Would you like that, Ludwig?"
The blond's heart began to thump in excitement "Ja...More than anything..." A
familiar, carnal desire swept beneath him. He wanted the Prussian for a while,
yet the lust had intensified with his offer.
The older sibling led the German down the path until they had reached what had
looked like a dried out lake. In its place, there was a bed of leaves growing
from the soil. Leafy vines twisted from the trees surrounding it, which hung
like curtains around the lake.
"I'm sorry this isn't the best place for doing this." Gilbert apologised.
"It's fine." Ludwig answered "Anything is fine as long as I can be with you."
The Prussian blushed at the affectionate words before continuing. He slipped a
hand around the German's waist, causing Ludwig's breath to falter "Now, you
have to be gentle like this. Women like it when a man touches them here."
Gilbert instructed. Ludwig nodded, appreciating the pale hand's grip. It was
very different to how they had played the game. It was slower, gentler. But
there was still some passion in these moves. With his other hand, Gilbert
untied the blond's bow tie and unbuttoned his shirt. Cool air touched against
his exposed skin, making Ludwig sigh. The Prussian traced his fingers over his
collarbone and neck slowly. He then leaned closer and kissed him on the lips
before planting a harder one on his neck. Ludwig closed his eyes at the touch.
Gilbert continued kissing him down his neck, bringing his hands to his chest.
He fondled at his brother's chest teasingly, just as a man would do to a woman,
before planting another kiss there. He continued kneading his chest, making the
other's nipples harden in pleasure. Ludwig moaned quietly, enjoying Gilbert's
advances greatly. "Ah…" He panted, "Mehr, bruder…Mehr."
A finger rested on his lips as Gilbert hushed him "Shhh…You have to be patient.
I think that is still something that you need to learn."
Ludwig ran his hands through the Prussian's silky strands, overjoyed for this
texture that he had craved for so long. Gilbert continued to kiss him on the
lips, still stroking his chest lovingly. Taking his hand, he led him to the bed
of leaves, where Gilbert began to take off Ludwig's clothing before undressing
himself. He held the German's bare shoulders, pushing him onto the leaves to
kiss him again. The caresses soon became less gentle and more intimate as he
traced his hand down to Ludwig's pulsating member.
"Now," Gilbert whispered, separating Ludwig's legs apart "You have to take
charge of the woman…Climb over her like so. Become a part of her." As he said
this, his hand began to stroke him, causing the blond to moan, "Do you
understand, Ludwig?"
"Ahh…I…I understand." Ludwig stammered, too overwhelmed by pleasure to
completely follow the Prussian's words. But his body responded well to
Gilbert's actions, shaking as his hands moved faster and faster. The German
continued to groan until he came, holding on to the other hand of Gilbert's, so
thankful that he was right by him. Their lips met again, kissing deeper as the
Prussian found his way into him.
"Now…This is what you have to do..." Gilbert's voice instructed, which sounded
rather strained. He thrust his hips towards him and then back. Ludwig followed
suit. They continued for a while as the blond grabbed hold of the Prussian's
shoulder's resting his hand slightly into his fine strands. Tugging his hair,
Ludwig could feel his body give in to the Prussian completely.
"Ja…Ja…" Ludwig moaned, his body now fully awake and tense. After they had
reached their climax, they embraced, lying on the leaves together. The night
had cooled down a little, but body heat of each other was more than enough to
warm the both of them. They lay in each other’s arms, both calmed and content
by the other's presence. Yet it was too good to last for long, for Gilbert
remembered that he had to be back home.
"I need to leave." Gilbert told the younger brother, putting his clothes back
on quickly "Großvater still doesn't know that I'm here. I need to hurry back
before I get another beating."
"Aw…I know bruder." Ludwig sighed sadly, holding his hand "But I don't want you
to. Why can't I just marry you instead? You are the only person I want to stay
with."
Gilbert's blue eyes looked sad as he moved down to kiss the German, who was
still lying on the leaves. "…I know. Es tut mir leid." He squeezed his
shoulder, gazing deeply in his eyes "You'd better hurry back too. Put on your
clothes and come back to the mansion. Ingrid is probably wondering what has
happened to you."
After he had gotten dressed, Gilbert helped to tie Ludwig's bow tie before they
shared a final kiss. The blond held on the Prussian, not wanting him to leave
him.
"Thank you…" He whispered.
Gilbert smiled and put a hand on the German's face "Don't mention it." He
answered. With that, he turned away, avoiding looking back at his brother for
it would make him burst into tears. Ludwig watched the pale form of the older
man climb over the hedges, jump over the fence and then disappear from his
sight.
He stared at the empty space where Gilbert was, hoping that it would not be the
last time he would see him.
Once he had headed back, he was able to quickly dash upstairs to the bathroom
to reapply the foundation over his scar. To his relief, Ingrid had sobered up
considerably and was sitting on a chair limply, looking rather ill. She stared
at Ludwig with regret, her eyes red with tears.
"Please forgive me for my behaviour earlier. It was completely out of line."
Ingrid apologised "I don't usually drink…Please, don't tell Frau Bach about
this. I promise that I won't tell her that you slapped me."
"I promise." Ludwig replied gratefully, relieved that she had also forgiven him
for earlier.
She raised her eyebrows in bewilderment, noticing how much the German was
glowing from the event earlier. "Why…you look so cheerful this evening. What
happened, Ludwig?"
Ludwig tried to hide his smile but failed. Even though he had trusted Ingrid a
little more, he did not want to uncover the secret between him and the man he
loved. "I'm just…I'm just happy that you're alright." He said quickly.
Ingrid smiled cheerily, her greyish eyes lightening up. Ludwig instantly felt
bad for lying. She really did think highly of him, yet he couldn't see any
reason why. If she were to uncover what had happened between him and his
brother, everything would change. There was just no telling when.
 
After Gilbert had made his tiring walk home, he crept silently into the
corridor, careful not to wake up the old man. But as he walked into the room,
he felt a strange draught that was not present beforehand. He shot a glance at
the top of the stairs, realising that the door had been ajar...
…It was the door of his grandfather's room.
A silhouette of Werner stood in the lounge, as if he had been waiting there the
whole time. The Prussian gasped, panicking that the old man had figured out
that he had escaped.
"You never learn, do you?" The old man said gravely. In his hand was a belt
from long ago that had haunted Gilbert's dreams for so many years. He walked
closer to him, his eyes shining manically.
"I know exactly what you did. And I regret it so deeply. If only I had locked
the door…But then again, sometimes a disease can be so serious that there is no
cure."
Gilbert backed away, bumping into a chair. "You have no proof!" He shouted back
"And either way, you can't change me."
"I couldn't care less if you had died, still corrupted. But it sickens me that
you are still willing to make Ludwig like you. He was a good child! You ruined
him!" Werner was walking much closer now. Once he was directly in front of the
Prussian, he seized him by the shoulders and shoved him, stomach down on the
couch. Even though he was much older, Werner still had the same strength that
he possessed from punishing Gilbert during childhood. Gilbert struggled to move
from his grasp, but the man was holding him down securely. After some
squirming, Gilbert had managed to free a leg and kicked the old man directly in
the face, knocking him down. He scrambled to his feet and ran upstairs, yet
Werner had quickly recovered and was chasing after him.
"You get back here! I am not done with you yet. I will beat you senseless until
you no longer see the light of day! You'll be dead, just like how I had wanted
you to be."
The Prussian continued to run. Once he had reached his room, he shut the door,
blocking it with a chair. But despite his efforts, Werner burst through,
panting feverishly and still clutching on the belt. He threw a few punches at
his face before pulling him down on the bed. Gilbert struggled, but was far too
weak to get back up and retaliate. The old man pulled up the Prussian's shirt,
revealing the many faded scars. He spotted a few new ones; love bites from
Ludwig. The sight of them had enraged him even more. He clenched onto the belt
tighter and threw it back and forth, smacking Gilbert directly over the
previous scars. It stung him even more and he bit his lip to stop himself from
crying out in pain. A few drops of crimson expelled from his mouth, staining
the off-white sheets. Werner continued with the lashings for another minute
until when Gilbert could not bear it anymore, the old man finally let him go.
"Disgusting Schwein." Werner muttered under his breath, before he spat at the
Prussian.
Gilbert cleaned his face quickly, shaking from the shock. Even though he had
grown accustomed to the beatings, his body was still unprepared for such
brutality. Bleeding and numb, he drew his knees towards his chest. Slouching
over like a rag doll, he began to sob. Never had he felt so alone before. Only
the ringing of his ears was around to accompany him. Until that moment, he did
not even realise how loudly Werner had screamed at him. The words had not
brought down his self esteem anymore, for he already knew how damaged it
was…But as he continued to sit, the doubt of whether he was good enough for the
one he loved had managed to rear its ugly head again.
He turned to the window, peering at the dark sky and the branch that Ludwig had
once sat on. Closing his eyes, he wished that his brother would be sitting
there, more than anything else in the world. Yet with so much doubt, he would
not blame Ludwig for no longer loving him as much as he did. It was that fear
that was more torture than the beatings or any of the insults that Werner could
give to him…The fear of suffering from a broken heart.
 
On the next day, Ludwig did his lessons tiredly, unable to fully concentrate.
His mind continued to replay the events from in the bed of leaves. Against Frau
Bach’s wishes, he carried out every order clumsily, infuriating her. Yet when
he had met again with Ingrid, the young woman pretended as if everything was
fine between them. But her smile and carefree attitude continued to make him
feel uncomfortable with regret. The wedding day was fast approaching and even
though he knew exactly what he had to do, he was still not very confident in
following through with this task. When Ingrid had sat closely to him, he stayed
still, knowing that if he had showed any disinterest, he would probably get
into trouble with Frau Bach. The older woman watched him like a hawk whenever
they sat together, also paying attention to their conversations. These seemed
to have more life when Ludwig spoke about the topics that interested the woman.
Like him, she was very interested in reading and going for walks in the woods.
There were things that each had in common, yet an attraction was not one of
them.
While they were having a conversation about the books they had read, Frau Bach
was suddenly at Ludwig’s back, tapping him on the shoulder.
The German spun around. “Ja, Frau Bach? What is it?”
The old lady cleared her throat; addressing the both of them “I have come to
let you know that the wedding ceremony will be held tomorrow. A car will take
you to the marriage hall. You must both dress your best for this, understood?”
Ludwig and Ingrid both nodded.
“Good. Well I guess now you’re both free to do whatever you like for the rest
of the day. You seem to be much better acquainted now.”
“Frau Bach…” Ludwig asked timidly. He was still exhausted from the lack of
sleep from last night that he was finding it hard to keep his eyes open “Is it
alright if I go to bed? It’s just that I’m still tired from last night…and I
need to have the strength for the big day tomorrow.”
To his surprise, the woman approved his request “Yes, you may.” She said, “We
can’t have you dozing off on that ceremony.” Relieved, Ludwig went upstairs to
his room.
Ingrid turned to follow him. Thinking that the young woman was going to spend
more time with the German, Frau Bach didn’t stop her. Once she had found his
room, she noticed that Ludwig had fallen into a deep sleep. It surprised her to
see him in this way, but at the same time, it was a strangely adorable sight.
For the first time, he had looked so relaxed, all traces of fear and
desperation that was evident in his usual expression gone. Ingrid edged closer
and stood at his bedside, watching him sleep. Ludwig showed no signs of waking
up. Heart pounding, she sat down beside his sleeping form, tempted to kiss him
on the lips or to caress him like a lover…Yet after last night, she was afraid
that the man would fly into another rage.
Rather than kissing him, she caressed his sleeping face. But as she did so, the
foundation came off his cheek into her hand, revealing the scar that was hiding
there the whole time.
She pulled her hand away, horrified. At first, she could only stare at the scar
and nothing else. It seemed to stand out from the fair skin, the only blemish
on his handsome contours. She was repulsed, but even as she closed her eyes,
the scar was still imprinted behind her eyelids. Concerned, she touched the
scar cautiously, wondering how something so hideous could happen to him. It
must have been painful, for the wound was so deep. Was this the cause of his
unease? Or did this happen to him long ago? There seemed to be so many
questions about his childhood that he had seldom spoke about. Ingrid wanted to
marry him, more than ever but after uncovering something so ghastly, there were
probably many other things that she didn’t know about him.
Yet what he had mumbled under his breath as she had caressed the scar was
perhaps the most revealing thing of all. He smiled at the contact and with his
eyes still closed he took her hand.
“Gilbert…” He murmured sleepily as he held her hand with the most intimacy that
he had ever fostered while they were together.
Ingrid felt her heart break in two as she drew away from him. It was there, all
along. How could she have been so blind? From the cold, unromantic gestures and
the concern about his brother’s safety, it was so obvious. He had loved his
brother the whole time. Her stomach churned as she held a hand to her mouth,
about to be sick. Frozen on the spot, she shook, horrified at the secret that
she had uncovered in those regretful few moments.
Why did you lie to me for, Ludwig? She thought tearfully, I had trusted you so
much… I even loved you.
Ludwig opened his eyes and saw Ingrid before him, still cowered in the same
spot. Confused, he got up and walked over to her. As he did so, he caught sight
of himself in the mirror. Noticing the uncovered scar on his face, he grew
anxious. She had found out.
“Ingrid…let me explain.” He reached out a hand but she quickly withdrew
further.
“Stay away from me!” She shrieked. “I can’t believe that I was going to marry
you. If I had known sooner, I would have never followed through with this. You
lied to me, Ludwig. I thought that you really did like me too, but instead you
were only just doing this to protect your brother. I can’t believe it. I was so
stupid.” She sobbed so loudly that Ludwig tried to hush her. Ingrid wanted to
escape the room, but she was unable to move. Right now, she needed answers,
even if they were going to make her think less of him. After this episode, it
was unlikely that she was going to marry him now.
Regaining her composure, she turned around slowly to face him. “I want you to
tell me everything from the start…or I’ll tell Frau Bach exactly what you had
said to me in your sleep.”
His eyes widened in fear as he recalled the hand that touched his scar…it had
caressed him the same way that Gilbert had that he did not even think that it
was someone else.
“Okay…” He sighed, “You’re right. I could have said more to you. But you will
think less of me if I tell you everything.”
Ingrid crossed her arms, waiting for him to continue. “I don’t care. Nothing
can make me think less of you than I do now. You don’t really want to marry me
at all, do you, Ludwig?”
“I never denied it.” He explained carefully. “In fact, I was too afraid to say
anything at all in case it would hurt you.”
Grey eyes filled with tears, she shook her head. Nothing could make her more
hurt than finding out about this. Seeing this distraught painted so clearly on
her face, he sighed and began to tell her about his grandfather’s plan for
restoring the home and the family name. But she did not seem convinced, for
there was something that he was still holding back.
“You haven’t told me about your brother.” Ingrid pointed out “Or why you have a
scar. Or even why you can’t see him anymore. What happened to make you like
this? Who did this to you?”
Her angry but naïve questions made him laugh. She glared at him so he quickly
stopped “I’m sorry, but didn’t you figure it out? I did this to myself.” She
gasped, backing away in horror.
“What?”
“You are too innocent to know about this.” He said dismissively “And since you
no longer feel for me, you might as well leave the room and never see me again.
Find yourself a nice husband…someone who will accept and love your good nature,
rather than a man who will abuse it like I have.” Ludwig’s red eyes shone as he
touched his scar, the memories of his childhood with Gilbert. Ingrid stayed
put, refusing to leave without knowing the whole story.
“There are some dark things in the world, Ludwig. You can’t protect me from
them anymore. I’ve been sheltered for far too long. Please, since I’m not going
to marry you, you might as well tell me them.”
Ludwig sat down on the bed, gesturing her to take a seat beside him. She
followed suit, all her undivided attention on him. Ingrid looked at his scar
with pitying eyes. Reaching out, she touched the scar again, yet this time he
did not flinch.
“Why would you do this to yourself, Ludwig? You have such a nice face. Did it
hurt?”
The German laughed “No.” He said “I earned it for the one I love.”
“…Gilbert wanted you to do this?” She asked worriedly, trying to make sense of
his words “…You…You did this because he forced you? Why? I don’t understand at
all.”
“I told you that you were too innocent to know.” Ludwig responded in
irritation. “Forget what I said.”
“No, please...I won’t say anything to Frau Bach.” She pleaded. Placing a hand
on his arm, she stared straight into his eyes. The way that she had fussed and
concerned herself over him annoyed him greatly. He didn’t want to appear like a
victim. In fact, he had almost regretted telling her as much as he had, but it
was too late to take everything back now. He took a deep breath and began to
summarise everything from his grandfather’s abuse to Gilbert during childhood,
to the abuse that the Prussian had inflicted on him. With some hesitation and
embarrassment he confessed his feelings for Gilbert in the dark room as he had
noticed the scars for the first time…as well as his deeper affection for his
brother. Ingrid seemed shocked at first, but later on she had taken in his
words and nodded understandably, not leaving his side.
“And so…when we had fallen for each other, Großvater caught us. And with that,
he separated us. That’s why I had to do this. I couldn’t let him hurt Gilbert
again. I already left him once before and I didn’t want to betray him again. We
had to follow him for the sake of helping the family…but the last time I saw
him, he was still being abused. If he was ki-”
Ingrid gave a pat on his shoulder in comfort “Don’t say such things. What your
grandfather had done was wrong. I will tell Frau Bach about this and stop the
wedding from going forward.”
Ludwig shook his head “No! You must not tell anyone about this. She will send
the message to Großvater, don’t you see? They are working with each other.
Gilbert’s life will be in jeopardy.”
“Then…Can I speak to him?”
“That would be the worst thing you can do.” Ludwig said furiously “Do you want
him to hurt you to? Don’t even think about doing that.”
Ingrid turned pale in panic “Then what can we do? We are being forced to marry
against our will. Surely that must be illegal.”
“So is what I have with Gilbert...” Ludwig murmured miserably “So we can’t let
anyone find out about this.”
“We will speak to him together then.” Ingrid decided bravely. “Since there is a
risk that he might hurt me as well, you can protect me.”
“Out of the question.” Ludwig snapped. “You are already too far involved in
this. Turn around now while you still can.”
Ingrid looked annoyed but finally she complied. “Okay, I won’t.” She sighed
reluctantly. But even though she had turned around and was walking out of the
room, her grey-blue eyes were filled with more determination than ever before.
 
The next day Ludwig had showed up at the marriage hall early. Dressed in a
smart suit, he had waited anxiously for his future wife to show up. Frau Bach
was standing with him, also waiting for Ingrid.
“Where is that girl?!” She asked indignantly. “I told her specifically to
arrive here today. How could she possibly forget?” The old lady looked at
Ludwig for a response “Do you know where she could be?”
“Ich weiß es nicht.” Ludwig answered. But as he said this, his mind filled with
dread, realising where she could have been instead.
You silly girl. He thought angrily. If she did not go forward with the wedding,
there was only one other place where she could have been: At Werner’s house.
“I have to go!” He shouted, dashing out of the room. Frau Bach looked confused.
“Ludwig! You get back here. Do you know something that I don’t know?!” But
Ludwig ignored her, making his way outside. From the corner of his eye, he
noticed two bowler-hatted figures rushing at his side. One grabbed at his arm
in an attempt to drag him back into the hall, but he managed to throw him a
punch with his other hand. The second man leapt forward, but Ludwig was too
quick and shoved him aside, knocking him down. Once the first one had got back
on his feet, the German wrestled with him successfully, kicking him into the
shins. Before either of the men could recover, Ludwig was already gone.
He ran for a while, not even pausing to turn around or to take a break. Once he
had arrived in the forest, he instinctively traced his steps to the route that
he had taken last time. Because he was travelling so fast, he was sure that
none of the men or Frau Bach would have caught up to him by now. However, he
was careful to duck behind one of the trees whenever there was a sound of any
sudden movement. Fortunately as he had retreated from the tree, it was just a
stray cat, which had fled from one of the trunks. As soon as it had seen
Ludwig, the cat shrieked and ran away.
To his relief, he had found the old mansion. Yet it looked significantly better
with a fresh coat of paint and new windows. With caution, he walked straight
into the lounge room. Yet nothing could have prepared him for what he was about
to see.
Werner was standing directly in front of the couch, glaring at whoever was
sitting there. As Ludwig moved closer, he realised that it was Ingrid sitting
there, shaking in fear.
“Please, you can’t do this! It’s wrong. I can’t marry this man if I do not love
him.” She pleaded. Werner shook his head viciously, not even taking his eyes
off her. At first, Ludwig did not know why she had looked so worried, until he
noticed the bright shine of the sharp blade that he had held at his side.
“What is wrong, is that you found out far too much than you were meant to
know.” The old man told her “I asked Frau Bach to arrange this marriage for
your benefit, not for you to throw such ridiculous accusations at me. Who told
you about this nonsense of my grandsons? TELL ME!”
“NEVER!” Ingrid cried, “I rather die than to let you harm someone else. Why
couldn’t you let them be together, instead of forcing this union?”
The old man moved the blade towards her threateningly “I am not letting such a
disease affect my family again.” He said firmly. “It is wrong! All I asked of
you was to help my grandson to start a new life. Now because of you, I will
make sure that Gilbert is dead so that he no longer spreads his poison.”
As he said this, Ludwig had emerged from the shadows. He grabbed at the old
man’s hand, pulling the blade away from him. Werner backed away, shocked at his
grandson’s sudden arrival.
“Ludwig? What are you doing here?”
“…What were you saying about it being ‘because of her’?” Ludwig questioned, his
red eyes piecing into him.
“I…I don’t know what you mean!” The old man stammered.
Ludwig moved the blade in front of him, causing beads of sweat to fall from
Werner’s forehead. “Let me explain it to you then, Großvater. You see it isn’t
because of her at all. It’s because of me. I told her. I told her everything.
She had the right to know what sick game you were playing.” The blade drew
closer, poking at the old man’s skin. “Now, how would you like to have some
scars? Then, you might be able to understand exactly what Gilbert goes
through.”
Werner shook. It surprised the German to see how easily he was able to exert
power over the old man, even though Werner had always been able to do so for
him. “You’re not so strong now, Großvater.” Ludwig said “Give up already.” He
turned to Ingrid who held her face in fear “Go! Leave us here. I can take care
of the situation.”
“What if you get hurt?”
“Don’t worry about me!” Ludwig barked, “Now leave! Tell Frau Bach I’ve gone
missing. I don’t care. But I don’t want you to come back here every again. It’s
time for you to go and have a proper life with a man who will treat you
better.”
With tears in her eyes, she embraced him quickly before leaving silently. She
didn’t want to further anger a man who was holding a blade. But at the same
time, she felt useless for not being able to do anything else about the
situation. As she walked out of the mansion, filled with regret, every inch of
her being hoped that the two brothers would be safe.
Back in the mansion, Ludwig went upstairs to check on Gilbert. Yet he was
nowhere to be found. When he had walked into his room, he noticed some small
blood stains on the sheets of his bed. He spun around to Werner, holding onto
the blankets.
“What the hell did you do to him, Großvater?!” He shouted. “If you killed him,
I swear I will make sure that everyone finds out about this forced marriage.”
“Please, Ludwig. You have to understand. I only wanted the best for you and the
family.” Werner tried to explain. He began to cry, holding his face in his
hands “I didn’t want any of this. I just wanted to avoid the poison from
spreading any further. It already affected this family once. I didn’t want it
to happen to my grandsons as well.”
Ludwig’s eyes were on him in an instant “What do you mean, ‘It already affected
this family once?’” The blade was in front of Werner once more and he could see
his horrified reflection in it. “Tell me! Or I’ll tell everyone what you did to
Gilbert as well.”
“I don’t know where he is…” Werner lied “And you do not need to know about the
dark things of the family. You’ve been exposed enough.”
“LIES, LIES, LIES!” Ludwig shouted. Before Werner could protest, he was kicked
by the German’s shoe. Pinning him down with his foot, Ludwig began to press the
blade to Werner’s terrified face.
“Say Auf Wiedersehen to your life, Großvater…”
“ALRIGHT! I’ll tell you.” Werner gave in. He looked down in shame as he
recalled the distant childhood memories. “It happened before you were born,
Ludwig…” He whispered “I did everything in my power to stop it from happening
to you…Please, move that blade away from me.”
Stubbornly, Ludwig finally put the blade down and helped him up. The old man
took a deep breath and tried to remember the times that he had forced himself
to suppress.
“I was only about your age, Ludwig when I had fallen for another man.” He shook
his head in shame “But it was wrong on so many levels. He was not only a male,
but also my third cousin. I watched him afar, being too young and innocent to
think properly. Yet one day it had gone too far. I had walked in on him by
accident when he was taking a bath. He was so angry with me that he began to
call me names, threatening me that he would tell my parents that I had feelings
for him. When I pleaded with him that this would never happen again, he came to
an arrangement that I had to kiss him and we can put it all behind us. At
first, I thought that he was mad, but I couldn’t resist…It was the worst
mistake in my life.”
He shivered as a series of images flashed into his head: The horrified faces of
his family members when they had checked up on them, the disgusted look his
father gave him, wishing that he would never be born. A priest waved a cross
madly with one hand, the other clutching onto a bible. Two cloaked men shoved
the young man’s head underwater in an attempt to cleanse him. Then, he was tied
to a bed while the priest spoke deliberate words to exorcise whatever sinister
being was corrupting his soul. He saw his parents standing to one side,
watching him in concern. But they never saw him as the same person, only as a
dangerous animal, which needed to be shot.
“So I was cured in the end.” Werner explained “But it was only after your
parents had entrusted the two of you in my care that had caused me to remember
those times. Gilbert looked so much like my third cousin, that every time I saw
him, I would remember how he had teased and enticed me and put me through such
a painful ordeal. I never forgave him. When I saw the way you had looked at him
with such high regard, it made me furious. I didn’t want you to go through what
I did. It was the devil in my cousin that was reborn in Gilbert.” He clutched
onto Ludwig’s hand “Don’t you see? I was trying to help you. If I had let you
stay together, there was no telling what he would do to you. But despite all my
efforts of trying to separate you, you both kept on finding each other.”
Ludwig had calmed down significantly from the explanation, yet he was still
irritated for Gilbert’s disappearance “That does not excuse you for how you had
treated him. Now if you really want me to forgive you, you must help me find
Gilbert and let us stay together.”
“But are you sure that is what you want?” Werner asked worriedly “You’re still
so young.”
The German placed a hand on Werner’s shoulder and stood up defiantly, towering
over the old man “I’m not a child anymore, Großvater.”
Werner looked up at the blond. Tears streamed down his face for he had realised
that what he had spoken was the truth. Ludwig had changed so much since he had
ran away as a child. The innocence was long gone and as much as he tried, there
was no way to reverse time.
“Take care of yourself, Ludwig.” Werner said sadly, his voice wobbly “I can’t
stop you from making your own decisions.”
Just as he said this, a pale, cloaked figure barged into the room. He lurched
forward at Werner, the blade that Ludwig had put down now in his hand. With a
shaking hand, Gilbert held the blade to Werner’s neck. The old man turned pale.
“I don’t care if you killed me, Gilbert.” Werner said bitterly “Nothing can
forgive me for all the sins I have committed.”
“Gilbert! Don’t!” Ludwig shouted. The younger blond rushed towards the
Prussian. He placed his hands on the man’s quivering arms to calm him. “You
will regret it if you killed him.”
“He made my life hell!” Gilbert cried, “I would regret it if I just let him
live.”
“Think about what you’re doing…” Ludwig pleaded. He moved his hands down to
touch the Prussian’s own scarred ones. “He’s just like us, bruder. He’s not an
enemy.”
“How can I forgive him for all the trauma he put me through?!” Gilbert choked.
The blade pushed deeper into the old man’s neck, slightly puncturing his skin.
The sight of the slightest drop of blood had energised him. He wanted the old
man to be in pain, to suffer with the scars that he had to for most of his
life. Such a monster had deserved it. Werner waited, accepting his fate. He did
not seem to fight back. For the first time, it was Gilbert who had the most
power.
Ludwig gently leaned his head on the Prussian’s shoulder “You forgave me,
didn’t you?” With that, he kissed the man gently on the cheek, causing Gilbert
to freeze. “Come on, bruder. It’s all in the past now. Let go. We’re together
now.”
The very words seemed to defeat all of the feelings of hate that he had felt
for his grandfather and for himself. Since their separation, he had been lost
with doubt, fearful that Ludwig had not loved him anymore. But the German had
proved him wrong. From all the times they had been away from one another, his
feelings had only grown stronger for his older brother. This was enough
confirmation to take his word, just like how he was meant to at the beginning.
He didn’t follow his advice about running away with Ludwig and he was still
remorseful about it.
Yet things had changed. He was given a second chance. He had been waiting for
it for so long, yet it had seemed so unattainable.
“…I do, bruder.” Gilbert whispered.
“Then do this for me. Please?”
The blade slipped from his fingers and fell to the floor with a clang. With
that, the albino turned to face his lover, sobbing into his arms. Ludwig held
him close, hushing him and running his hand through his silvery strands. He was
so relieved to see him back.
Werner watched the two grandsons reunite together. Although such a sight would
have repulsed him, he sighed and shut his eyes, relieved to see that Ludwig was
not going to suffer the same fate that he had. In all his life, he had never
seen a couple look so content together. They belonged to each other and their
bond was so strong, nothing could falter it. It was the life that he had never
experienced. Secretly, he had never been so happy to witness such a limitless
devotion.
After Werner had fallen asleep, Ludwig attended to the Prussian’s wounds.
Gilbert had refused, but after a while, he let Ludwig take off his shirt,
revealing his new wounds. The German traced his hands gently over the scars and
slowly kissed each one of them in turn. Gilbert sighed, closing his eyes. He
had been looking forward to Ludwig doing this again, but he just never thought
that it would be possible. Ludwig turned to gaze at the older man in the face
in concern. “Does that feel better, Gilbert?” He took his face into his hands,
kissing his facial scars. The albino’s lips met Ludwig’s as he returned him a
passionate kiss.
“Yes…” He murmured taking both of the German’s hands “I feel much better now.”
 
Nothing was said about this anymore. Werner had left the two alone as he had
slowly become kinder to the Prussian. There was no marriage arranged, although
one day Ludwig had received a letter in the mail. It was not stamped, meaning
it was hand-delivered. He opened up the envelope, finding a letter inside. The
handwriting was unfamiliar to him, but he could guess whom it was by while he
read it.
Liebe Ludwig,
I know that we can’t see each other anymore. But since I have known you, I have
grown very attached to you. What you have done to try and help your family,
particularly your brother cannot be unacknowledged. Although I am not fond of
this relationship arrangement, I wish you all the best for this.
You have a kind heart and deserve such happiness. Please, accept this cheque. I
know we are not getting married, but I feel that you and your brother need to
live life the way you desire. This money may help you to achieve this and
perhaps sort out things with your grandfather.
Grüße,
Ingrid.
Ludwig looked in the envelope and discovered a cheque that he had not initially
noticed. To his joy, the cheque had outlined a generous sum of one hundred
thousand euros. He did not know why Ingrid had been so kind to offer this, but
either way, he was very thankful for the woman’s kind gesture. Tucking the
letter and the cheque in his pocket he went back into the house to share the
kind news.
Someday he would thank her back. But at the moment, he had to focus on sorting
out the Beilschmidt household. Yet with the money, there wasn’t much to be
solved.
Once he had showed Gilbert the letter and the cheque, the Prussian grew quiet.
With his eyes downcast, he seemed a little jealous. “She really does love you.”
He murmured.
“Ja, that is true.” Ludwig admitted, putting down the letter. “But she wasn’t
the one who took my heart, was she?” Gilbert blushed as the German placed a
hand to his face.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Come on, bruder. Would I ever lie to you?”
Gilbert looked up to meet his brother’s red eyes, which were filled with so
much love that he knew that he was speaking the truth. He wrapped his arms
around the younger blond and their lips met again in a slow, but powerful kiss.
“I had been waiting for this moment...” Gilbert whispered, “Longing for freedom
for so long. But now, everything is exactly like how I want it to be.”
“Of course it is, liebe bruder.” Ludwig answered, “I am yours…Für immer und
immer.”
 
And it was those words that completely erased all doubts that had haunted
Gilbert for so many years. There was no longing for freedom anymore, because
despite all obstacles, they were destined to be together.
 
Für immer und immer…
End Notes
     *Note: Although these characters are the 2P! versions of Prussia and
     Germany, I have used the same names as their 1P! counterparts as I
     have done this in my previous fan fictions. This is to avoid
     confusion.
     Translation key:
     Sehnsucht nach Freiheit: Translates roughly as “longing for freedom”.
     It is also the title of the story and one of the feelings that the
     brothers experience during their separation. Both brothers were
     longing to seek one another and to live together freely, without the
     rules and guidelines of their iron-fisted grandfather. In a way,
     Ingrid is also longing for freedom from a sheltered and wealthy
     lifestyle, although it is unclear as to whether she was able to
     succeed in starting a new life.
     Mein Gott: My God
     Großvater: Grandfather
     Was?: What?
     Herr Gott nochmal: A colloquial expression for showing irritation.
     Bruder: Brother
     Kleiner: Smaller/younger (in this context)
     Ja: Yes
     Gut: Good
     Niemals: Never
     Es tut mir leid: I’m very sorry/ sorry from the bottom of my heart
     Herr: Mr
     Frau: Mrs/Ms
     Guten Morgen: Good morning
     Danke: Thank you
     Nein: No
     Sofort: Right away
     Ich liebe dich: I love you
     Ich vermisse dich: I miss you
     Entschuldigung: Excuse me
     Bitte: Please
     Scheiße: An expletive (I’m sure you can guess what that means ;))
     Ich weiß es nicht: I do not know
     Auf Wiedersehen: Goodbye
     Grüße: Regards (when writing a letter)
     Für immer und immer: Forever and ever.
      
     *Footnotes
     German brothers: This is in reference to the 1p! counterparts of
     Germany and Prussia, since they live very close by.In previous fan
     fictions, both counterparts meet each other.
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